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#i know everyone will just tell me to do it anyway because ~they do things alone all the time~ or whatever i get told every single time. sigh
soaps-mohawk · 3 days
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I'm so sorry to everyone that I freaked out with the last post, I was trying so hard not to 😭 I have that like instant fear as soon as I see "we need to talk" or something in the same vein. I always think it's something bad.
This isn't bad, at least depending on how your perspective I guess.
So...I'm having thoughts about CRCB in October. I planned out posting schedules for Kyletober and CRCB and my Patreon stuff and it's going to basically be a post every day, sometimes multiple in multiple places.
That's a lot.
So, I am set on doing Kyletober since all of the fics are already written, but I was planning on continuing CRCB during October as well. But...I think I need a little break from CRCB. It's been about eight months of posting almost every single week and it's been a lot. I'm struggling with chapters right now and with work it's vastly limiting the time I have to write and focus on things and I'm kind of burning out right now.
So, what I wanted to discuss was potentially putting CRCB on hold for October while I focus on Kyletober and everything involved with that. Trying to do both is a lot and I'm not sure I can handle all of it, plus life, plus work.
I was planning on not necessarily putting CRCB on hold, but doing more of a "whenever I can/am inspired" random posting chapters kind of like I did in the beginning when I first started writing the fic, in November/December because those are very busy months and I will be dead tired from work and just general life.
I think I might still do that for November/December and possibly into the new year since there's no way the fic will be finished even if I posted every week until the end of December.
BUT
That's something I'll think about and make a decision on later.
Right now, my thought is...would you hate me if I put CRCB on pause in October? IF I do, I promise I won't end Chapter 39 on a cliffhanger. I wasn't planning on it anyway, but I promise I won't end it on a cliffhanger if I decide not to post any chapters in October.
That way if I do put it on pause, then I can not focus on it for a bit and give my brain a refresh, and I can also focus all my energy on Kyletober.
So yeah, it's going to be a lot doing both at the same time, and honestly I'm ready for a little break from CRCB. It's been going for a long time and it's a lot of words to get out in a week. I've been super stressed lately and I'm just struggling a lot trying to get through chapters.
So yeah. That's basically the dilemma here and the discussion to be had. I know y'all will tell me it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, but I would like opinions on it. Are y'all okay with me putting CRCB on hold to focus on Kyletober? Then pick it back up for probably just whenever I can chapter updates for the rest of the year? In January things will calm down and I'll have more time to relax and write and maybe get close to finishing the story. Plus I know a lot of my readers will be busy the next three months with the holidays and vacations and family and school and all of that, so you won't have to worry about getting behind and having to catch up with a bunch of chapters.
So...let me know...
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greenconverses · 3 days
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As I've mentioned a few times times, one of the actual interesting things Riordan is doing in this new series is mentioning Percy's obvious rage issues and then not actually doing anything with it other than making Percy swallow the anger down so he stays Nice and Controlled at all times.
Which, if we were dealing with pre-Disney+ show deal RR, could be a great character arc over the course of the series where Percy learns to actually deal with his anger and trauma while he's actively being triggered by petty godly bullshit. But Wrath made it pretty clear he's okay with letting Percy eat shit emotionally as long as everyone is one big happy team in the end and we're Therapy Speaking ourselves into the sunset, so I don't think that's happening.
Wrath sets up a conflict between Grover and Percy that's pretty simple: Grover eats a magical thing he's specifically told not eat and causes chaos that puts Percy's quest at risk. Reminder, these stupid quests are so Percy can get into college and Grover knows this. Percy gets angry at Grover; so angry Annabeth can see it and shoos him out of the room so he doesn't explode. And then he just... tries to stop being angry, assumes Grover means well, and carries on pretending it's not Grover's fault while being resentful because it's totally Grover's fucking fault.
Eventually, we get a scene where Grover attempts to make things right by putting himself into danger and Percy freaks out because, duh, he doesn't want his friends to get hurt. Grover then attempts to apologize by admitting he maybe sorta kinda subconsciously wanted to sabotage things. And it's here where we run in to trouble.
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Please notice that Percy immediately tries to reassure him that he's not responsible despite Grover acknowledging it. Then we get the good ol' Grover tears and looking like a poor bullied baby before he confesses to sabotaging his best friend's quest because he doesn't want to be left behind. And with that, all of Percy's anger is gone because how can you be mad at your friend for that?
Uh, pretty fucking easy, especially if my idiot satyr friend knows exactly what the consequences of failing the quest is (forget the college letters; Percy is under the assumption that Hecate will unmake him if he fucks up) AND said idiot frequently has gone MONTHS without seeing me because of his job and, in fact, several months from now will be halfway across the country anyway helping Apollo with some different quest bullshit!!!!
I digress.
Suddenly, Percy is the bad guy for being mad at Grover. And this continues with the next part of the conversation.
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How hard it's been on him?????
Percy Jackson, you are constantly blowing literal gaskets because of the stress you are under, and you're worried about how hard college applications has been on GROVER???????
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"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college."
"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college."
"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should have been thinking about how you felt rather than stressing about getting into college."
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like
are you kidding me here rick
are you FUCKING kidding me
PERCY needs to APOLOGIZE to GROVER for PRIORITIZING COLLEGE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
And then Grover makes a joke about Percy's shitty gpa because dunking on Percy in an emotional conversation is totally fine because his emotions don't actually matter to any of his friends. He'll get over it! He's Percy, duh. He's not a ticking time bomb of resentment full of grudges whatsoever.
I think we're supposed to see this as Percy maturing and being forgiving, but is he? He doesn't tell Grover he forgives him. Percy's the one apologizing in the end because he's been guilted into feeling bad that Grover is sad/upset and put himself in danger. The conflict doesn't actually get resolved because Percy brushes it aside; it doesn't matter any more because Grover is sad and must be reassured. No one's going to learn anything from this because there have been no consequences. Grover's gonna do some dumb shit again, Percy's gonna get mad at him, Grover will cry and make up a sad sack excuse, and Percy will stop being angry because Grover's his bestie and what else is he supposed to do?
(This could be a good character arc about how Percy's fatal flaw makes him have a really messed up view of friendships and the meaning of loyalty, but again, we will be denied.)
And for the record, just because your friends have compelling reasons for their shitty actions doesn't make them any less shitty. It doesn't mean they shouldn't apologize for their fuck ups or negate the hurt they caused you. Forgiveness needs to be earned, not manipulated out of you through tears and reckless actions.
Grover can get fucked. I hate this fucking character.
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Can i ask one for Kate Bishop. One where kate and reader's are best friends .they sleep together after being drunk. R is hopelessly in love with her. Everybody including kate knows this but it's like an un spoken thing.katie says doesn't see r like that because obviously she's afraid of losing the friendship if the relationship fails. Tells r that night was a one tym thing . After sometimes start seeing somebody so r will get the idea. So much angst ,heart breaks ,Kate being an idiot ,r being lovesick puppy .and a Happy ending .☺️ Its okay if you can't .Thank you ♥
an inch away from more than just friends [K.Bishop]
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pairing: kate bishop x reader
summary: falling in love with your best friend is supposed to be easy. unfortunately, neither you nor kate are particularly good at talking about your feelings.
warnings: a complete mess of fluff, smut, angst, and idiots in love; kate is HORRIBLE at acknowledging her feelings; drunken hookup in a storage closet {lots of grinding + teasing; r is a brat and kate is annoyed but turned on; small bits of dirty talk}
wordcount: 4k
a/n: I'M ALIVE! sorry for not posting much on here, i've been spending a lot of this past month working on my vampire!kate story so inspiration has been quite limited. i'm thinking about posting more short drabbles but idk how to format them 😅 anyway, i hope you're all doing well and i hope you enjoy <3
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You weren't sure how you had ended up here. You hated parties. Especially ones thrown by rich people who had nothing better to do than spend a ridiculous amount of money on expensive booze and shitty food.
Not to mention, this particular party was being hosted in some skyscraper in downtown New York, which meant no matter how badly you wanted to escape the bustling atmosphere, there was nowhere else to go. Even the balconies that littered the outside were subject to the nonstop sounds of traffic.
At least it was better than being inside and having to sit through endless small talk about things you didn't understand.
A familiar voice pulls you out of your thoughts as you lean against the railing, silently watching the cars drive by on the street below you. "There you are."
You turn your head and give Kate a small smile. "Hey."
The archer approaches you, a certain bounce in her step that isn't coming from her normal bubbly personality. 
While you weren't the biggest fan of these types of parties, Kate somehow thrived in them. Sure, she could be awkward most times, and she had a terrible habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, but she was charming. And as much as she hated the rich men who she had to rub elbows with all night, she understood them.
She'd grown up in this life while you...well, you were an outsider. Someone who didn't fit in, no matter how many expensive outfits the young CEO bought you or how many people she argued with.
The only thing you two could agree on was that the best part of these events was the free alcohol.
"How long have you been out here?" Kate asks as she joins you, her side pressing against yours and giving away how tipsy she already is.
"Like twenty minutes," you reply. "It was getting too stuffy in there."
She laughs and you allow yourself to admire her jawline and the way the city lights bounce across her skin. "Tell me about it. I swear I've had the same conversation with everyone."
"I don't know why you still bother coming to these things."
"It's good for the company, I guess," she says with a shrug. "And it gives me an excuse to get dressed up with you."
You roll your eyes at her, hating the way your heart instantly skips a beat at her words. She always gets extra flirty when she drinks. If you were more of an optimist, you might even believe her words had some sort of truth to them. 
"You're an idiot."
She makes a face at you, her features a mixture of annoyance and amusement. "You always say that."
"Because it's true," you say.
"Whatever," she huffs.
The two of you stand there for a few minutes, basking in the closeness of your bodies. It's a small thing, but it's moments like these that remind you just how deep your feelings for the archer run.
The buzz from the alcohol in your system leads you to rest your head on her shoulder without a second thought. Her arm wraps around you in an instant and it's not until that moment that you realize how cold you are.
"Can we leave yet?" You ask in a soft voice. It's a little embarrassing how desperate you are to be away from the bustling party.
"Almost," she replies. "I think you owe me a dance."
You groan, already dreading the looks you'll definitely get. "Do we have to?"
"Yes, we do." She gives your side an affectionate squeeze before pulling away from you. "Just one dance, and then we can leave."
You know better than to trust her words, but you can't pretend dancing with her doesn't sound nice. Clearly, Kate isn't the only one with lowered inhibitions right now.
"Fine," you roll your eyes but reach out for her hand.
Her fingers interlock with yours, and she leads the way to the makeshift dance floor. Thankfully, most people seem too busy in their own conversations to pay attention to the dancing couples...and you and Kate.
It fills you with more bitterness than you'd like, but you try not to dwell on it. It's easier said than done...until her hands land on your waist and pull you close to her. 
"You can come closer, sweetheart, I don't bite."
A nervous laugh escapes you. Mainly because you've listened to enough of her superhero stories to know for a fact she does bite, but also because getting closer to her is the last thing you should do right now.
She makes it far too easy to do, though, so you give in and wrap your arms around her neck.
The two of you start swaying to the soft music being played by the small group of musicians at the front of the room. It's hard not to spend the entire time admiring her features from this distance and as much as you try to ignore it, it's impossible to deny the way your heart flutters in your chest every time you make eye contact with her.
Your silence seems to surprise her, considering the way her eyebrows furrow together. "You okay?"
You nod and try to ignore how close your faces are. "Yeah, just...thinking."
That seems to get her attention and her concerned look turns into a slightly mischievous smile. "Oh yeah? About what?"
"Wouldn't you love to know?" You reply, hoping your attempt at teasing her will help distract her.
It doesn't work and instead of moving on, she wordlessly pulls you closer, her smile turning into a smirk when your eyes widen from the sudden proximity. "Come on, sweetheart, don't get shy on me now."
"You're annoying."
"Is that why you've been staring at my lips this whole time?"
Her words catch you off-guard, but they're not exactly far-fetched. The alcohol in your system mixed with having her so close only equals a long list of bad ideas. You can't deny how enticing those ideas sound, though.
You somehow manage to find your voice long enough to throw her observation back at her. "I think you're projecting, Katie."
"So you don't want to kiss me?"
She's toying with you, you know she is because you've seen her do it countless times, but you can't find it in yourself to really care. You know you shouldn't do it. You try to remind yourself that you're both drunk and simply trying to rile each other up for fun.
That no matter what happens, it won't mean anything. At least, not to her.
The longer you think about it, though, the less the potential consequences matter to you.
"I do," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper. "But only because it's the only way to shut you up."
You expect her to laugh at you and change the topic, but, of course, she doesn't. Because the only thing Kate loves more than annoying you is taking you by surprise.
In an instant, she closes the distance between your faces, her lips meeting yours in a borderline hesitant kiss. You're certain you've never seen her so nervous before. It's strange but endearing.
More than that, it helps distract you from how nervous you are.
She pulls away from you with a smile so bright that it makes your mind swim. "I guess you were right, kissing me does shut me up."
"Is that your way of trying to convince me to kiss you again?" You ask, doing your best to act nonchalant.
You're not sure that it works very well, but thankfully, she makes no teasing comments about it. She simply steals all your thoughts away by kissing you again.
The fact that you're one step away from fully making out in the middle of the dance floor isn't lost on you. Kate seems to come to the same realization as you at that moment and she reluctantly pulls away from you just to grab your hand and lead you away from everyone's gaze.
You don't know where exactly she's taking you, you just know it's definitely not toward the exit. You'd love to call her out on it and act upset and yet...you don't. How can you when your curiosity is practically eating you alive?
She drags you into the first storage closet she finds, closing the door behind you and pushing you against it. The action steals your breath away, along with the rest of your coherent thoughts.
You weren't going to act like you'd never fantasized about doing this with Kate but you'd always imagined it would happen under different circumstances. Although, if you're completely honest, you can't say you're actually mad about it.
"Hi," you whisper, your eyes drifting down to her lips once more.
"Hey." Her hands find their way back to your waist as she steps forward, effectively trapping you against the door. "Are you...still okay with this? 'Cause we can just leave and act like nothing happened."
You appreciate her thoughtful words even though the fire she started within you is burning far too bright to be put out now. 
"Yeah, I'm okay," you assure her. "I don't think stopping is an option now."
Your words seem to make her hesitation disappear and her smirk instantly makes a comeback. "And why is that, darling?"
"You know why."
Kate leans in closer, one of her hands drifting down to grip your leg and lift it up until it's wrapped around her waist. "Maybe...but I want to hear you say it."
"In your dreams, sweetheart."
You feel incredibly proud of yourself until the archer pushes herself against you, creating the most wonderful friction against your center. The movement catches you off-guard and you let out an embarrassingly desperate moan at the feeling.
The brunette takes advantage of the moment and ducks down to attach her lips to your neck. "I would love to put you in your place but you are far too adorable like this."
Your head tilts back to give her more access to your skin as you struggle to put yourself together long enough to reply to her words. "I wouldn't describe this as adorable."
She chuckles against your skin, the feeling of her warm breath sending ripples of pleasure down your spine. You almost can't believe this is actually happening. For a second, you briefly wonder if you're simply dreaming.
There's no way the pressure of her body against yours isn't real, though. No way for the pleasure you're experiencing to be completely made up by you.
The hand still on your waist gives you a soft squeeze before she guides you against her. There's something slightly humiliating about grinding against her in some random, badly lit, storage closet that only adds to the intensity of the moment.
Kate seems to read your mind considering the way she moves against you, drawing out another barely supressed moan. "You're holding back, y/n/n."
Her teasing words only make you want to tease her right back. Just because you've wanted her like this for a long time doesn't mean you want to make things easy for her. Riling her up is always more fun anyway.
"Maybe you're just not as good as you think you are," you reply, hoping she won't call you out for grinding against her so desperately. 
She has no plan to make things easy on you, though, and as annoying as it is, it's also incredibly attractive. "That's not what your body is saying." 
"How can you be such a dork at a time like this?" 
"It's my talent." 
"Keep telling yourself that." 
She groans, out of annoyance rather than pleasure, but you know your slight defiance is a turn on for her. It's almost funny how someone so bratty gets such a rush out of putting other brats in their place. "I hope you know your attitude is going to cost you later." 
"Don't threaten me with a good time, Katie." 
Her hand finally makes its way up your thigh, and she cups your heated core in one quick move. "How am I the annoying one?" 
You let out a sharp gasp, your hips rocking against her hand with zero shame or hesitation. You're already so close to falling apart, the coil in your stomach embarrassingly close to snapping already. In your defense, it's been a long time since your last hookup. 
"Not so mouthy now, are you, sweetheart?" Her amusement is more than clear and, even though you'd love nothing more than to wipe the smirk off her face, you're a little preoccupied with the mounting pleasure. 
"Kate..." You whimper, attempting to pull her impossibly closer to you. "Fuck."
Her teasing energy is quickly replaced by satisfaction. Satisfaction that motivates her to speed up her movements, effectively replacing all your thoughts with the feeling of her hands on you.
"You gonna cum for me, baby?" She asks, her lips trailing a path from your neck to your jaw.
"Yeah," you reply, your voice a breathless, needy, whisper. "...please."
"Such a good girl. Go on, let me hear you fall apart for me."
Her words are exactly what you need to let go. It's a little embarrassing, and the lack of full contact makes it a little less satisfying than you'd like, but your orgasm crashes into you almost instantly. Your hands grip onto her shoulders as you ride out the waves, her soft whispers guiding you through the overwhelming sensations.
You're shaking and panting and absolutely spent after such a rush of emotions and Kate is right there, holding you close through it all. Somehow, the affection and care she's showing you feels even better than the orgasm you just had.
"You okay, baby?" She asks as she leans back just enough so your eyes can meet again.
You nod, still too shaken to find your voice. 
"You're too cute." 
Despite your breathlessness, she gives you a quick kiss, pouring far too many feelings neither of you want to think about right now into it. The alcohol must be draining from your system because you're already starting to freak out about this.
About how difficult it'll be to act like nothing happened. Like you're not completely in love with your best friend.
There's no way for you to deny it now. Hell, Kate herself can't deny it anymore either.
And yet you both try.
"Do you want to go back to my apartment?" She asks once you're able to pull away from each other.
The intention is behind her words is more than clear and it somehow manages to bring your confidence back. "Only if you let me repay the favor."
"I think we can definitely work something out," she replies with a genuine smile.
That's all you need to take her hand and drag her out of the storage closet. Her laugh rings out in your ears as you make your way to the exit.
True to your word, you spend the rest of the night returning the favor and drawing orgasm after orgasm out of Kate. It's not enough to make you believe you'll be together the way you want to and yet it's more than enough for ythe moment. 
It's more than you ever thought you'd get from her.
Unfortunately, morning comes too quickly and it brings the realization that you severely underestimated how much things would change. How quick Kate would be to sweep everything under the rug and deny it even happened.
It hurts but it's not a complete surprise considering the way the archer reacts to most things.
You manage to work through it, silencing your desires in favor of making her comfortable and keeping her in your life. It's not the healthiest thing in the world but you manage.
Your friendship only suffers for a few days before you're back to normal. No one would even notice anything if it weren't for the major heart eyes you throw her way all the time.
Everyone knows, though. Everyone cares except Kate.
Instead of talking about it like a normal person, she decides to make things worse by getting a girlfriend. You don't even know who she is and the archer doesn't give you any real details, she just mumbles something about a coffee shop and a cute dog.
You've never known Kate to be particularly reserved but she is this time. Not just that, she actively ignores you. Dodging your questions expertly and pretending there's nothing weird about how little time she spends with you.
You had always assumed it would be your feelings that ruined your friendship but Kate managed to ruin everything on her own. It's almost a skill.
Somehow, even as your heart breaks and endless questions swim around your mind, you manage to keep going. More than that, you match Kate's energy and pretend you don't even notice the change in her attitude. You're not sure who's more hurt by that but you don't even care.
You treasure the brief moments you get with her and mentally shout at her every time she cancels another movie night. Her excuses are endless. One day, she tells you she's too busy with Avengers work, the next she's too caught up with Bishop Securities.
The only thing that brings you some sense of comfort is the fact you're not the only one being lied to. Her so-called "girlfriend" gets the same excuses as you, at least that's what Yelena tells you. The Russian has no reason to lie, though, so you believe her and ignore the rising thought of making Kate jealous.
That's the only thing you're able to do: ignore Kate and the feelings you still have for her.
It works for a while...until the archer finds her way back to you.
It's the middle of the night when you hear frantic knocking on your door. You suppress your fear long enough to make it to the door, baseball bat in hand.
You open the door and come face to face with those same blue eyes you've tried not to think about for over a month. "Kate?"
"Hey," she mumbles, nervousness instantly creeping into her voice. "I, um...can I come in?"
You're tempted to say no and slam the door in her face. You're honestly half-way to doing it when you notice the way she's swaying and clutching her side."You're not drunk, are you?" You question.
Your attempt to lighten the mood falls flat but she smiles anyway. "No, I'm unfortunately sober."
You hum in response before stepping aside and letting her come in. There's a voice in the back of your head that warns you not to get caught up in the past. To keep your distance until she, at the very least, apologizes for being such a jerk to you.
Kate manages to make it to your couch without tripping while you lock your door and put the baseball bat back in its usual place. You brace yourself for the uncomfortable conversation that's bound to follow as you follow after her.
"So...what happened to you?"
Her only response for a few moments is a groan and you do your best to stifle your laughter. For someone who's the human embodiment of a golden retriever, she looks a lot like a grumpy cat right now.
"Stupid mission," she grumbles while attempting to stretch her sore muscles. "I don't know where someone can get the money for that many henchmen."
"Says the rich girl," you reply with a smirk.Kate rolls her eyes but some of the tension in her shoulders disappears. 
"Oh, shut up."
Your cross your arms over your chest before raising an eyebrow at her. "I don't think you're in any position to talk to me like that."
A barely noticeable blush spreads across her features. "Sorry," she mumbles. "I just...I've missed talking to you like this."
You wish it didn't but your heart skips a beat at her words. It's stupid considering the fact she's the one who put you guys in this situation yet there's nothing you can do about it. Your heart still belongs to her.
"Is that why you've been ignoring me lately?" You ask, unable to keep the bitterness out of your tone. "Why are you even here, anyway? I'm sure your girlfriend's worried about you."
Your words cause the smallest of changes in Kate's body language. She hunches down almost as if she's trying to sink into herself and disappear. You've seen her like this far too many times to not know how she's feeling.
"She would be if she didn't hate my guts right about now," she replies with a sigh. "Can't say I blame her, breaking up with her and leaving on a mission isn't the most mature thing to do."
"Wow, you're finally self-aware," you tease her, more out of habit that anything else. "A lot can change in a month, huh?"
The lack of annoyance in your tone allows her to relax again. As much as you might like to be petty, she seems genuinely sorry and upset. "Okay, I deserve that. I've been an asshole to you."
"Yes, you have, but it looks like karma finally caught up with you."
There's an edge of concern to your words that you can't quite hide. She doesn't seem to be in excruciating pain which hopefully means she's not badly hurt but with how stubborn she is, you wouldn't be surprised if she was blatantly hiding a gunshot wound.
Kate chuckles as she leans back against your couch, the movement allows you to search her suit for bloodstains and, thankfully, you find nothing except a couple of tears in the fabric. "Karma's a bitch..but I probably deserved it."
"Probably?" You ask.
"Okay, fine," she grumbles. "I definitely deserved it. It just...seemed like the right thing to do."
You can't hold back the scoff that leaves your lips. "On what Earth was ignoring me after hooking up with me "the right thing to do"?"
She grimaces, the words hitting her a little too hard. You feel a little bad for her even though these are simply the consequences of her own actions. "I was afraid of ruining our friendship. I didn't...I don't want to lose you, y/n. You mean too much to me."
A part of you wants to keep being petty about the whole thing but you've missed her far too much to push her away now. Even though she probably deserves it for being such an idiot.
"You have a very weird way of showing it." You finally allow yourself to close the distance between you two, walking over and taking a seat next to her.
Kate's hand instantly finds its way into yours, her head turning to look at you. There's a thin layer of tears in her eyes that tugs at your heartstrings. "I know...and I really am sorry."
"I know," you reply, giving her hand a soft squeeze. "You're my best friend, Kate, I've always known you're an idiot."
She rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything more, allowing a comfortable silence to fill the room.
There's a lot more you both still want to say and yet neither of you makes any attempt at breaking the moment. It's almost comforting how quickly you fall back together like two slightly damaged magnets.
Finally, after minutes go by, Kate allows herself to tell you the truth.
"It's you," she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's always been you and I'm so sorry I tried to pretend it wasn't true."
Her words bring a wave of relief, and a slight bit of annoyance that you do your best to supress. "Can you just shut up and kiss me before I kick you out?"
She laughs, a real one this time, before leaning forward and stealing your breath with a kiss.
It's not enough to fix all the damage but it's a start. And you're more than happy to flip the page with her.
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supernovafics · 2 days
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series masterlist | last part — next part
pairing: modern!college!steve harrington x fem!reader, bestfriend!eddie munson x fem!reader
word count: 5.4k words
warnings: explicit language, a bit of violence (kinda?) (only mentioned and barely even described), some angst
summary: you don’t know why you avoid telling everyone that you and steve are “broken up,”  but you do. and you don’t realize how much of a bad idea that is until way too late
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CHAPTER FIFTEEN | ❝𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕❞
Fall Semester 2016
“Who’s the guy again?” 
“I met him at the library. He asked to borrow my laptop charger and then when he was handing it back he asked for my number, and he texted asking to hang out,” You quickly explained as you slipped on your jacket and then turned to look at Eddie, who was sitting at your desk.
You weren’t particularly excited about the date, but you were excited to do something that you hadn’t done in a long time, and the smallest part of you could admit that you were doing this to try and be completely over Eddie. Your feelings being pushed and buried away were one thing, but if you were actually able to date someone else that had to mean that there definitely wasn’t anything else there. At least, that was what your mind told you, and it sounded somewhat logical.  
“If it sucks and you wanna get out of it, just call me,” Eddie told you.
“Robin already has that job,” You said. “We have a code word and everything.” 
He laughed a little. “What’s the code word?” 
“Dolphin.”
“That’s very random.” 
“Yes, and that makes it a more believable code word.” 
“Okay, makes sense,” He nodded. “Anyway, if she somehow ends up not answering, I will.” 
You doubted that would happen— you hadn’t known Robin for that long, but you already knew that she was very reliable. Still, though, you nodded at Eddie’s words because you liked how much he cared. It didn’t necessarily surprise you, but it still warmed your heart all the same. “Okay.” 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
Spring Semester 2018
It was the book that was making you cry right then. Nothing else. 
And maybe that wasn’t entirely true, but it felt like the easiest explanation. 
You reread the last page a few more times before finally closing the book and setting it on your desk. It was the same book that you’d been reading in Mexico with Steve a few days ago. 
He was right about the ending— the son died, and it happened right after he and the dad finally got in a good place. Of course, he’d been right.
A part of you wanted to text him and tell him that, but you didn’t. Instead, you kept silently crying— trying to remember the last time a book made you this emotional, but deep down knowing that it really wasn’t just the book. 
You didn’t get the chance to force yourself to face the exact reasoning behind your tears before there was a knock on your slightly cracked open door and Robin was walking in a second later. 
“Hey, I have two things I need to tell you. One is a question from Talia, who is too lazy to get out of bed right now, and the other is very fun news,” She stopped when she noticed you crying. “Woah, shit, you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry, I’m fine. I just finished reading this book and the ending was pretty sad,” You answered, haphazardly pushing your tears away with the sleeves of the sweater you were wearing. “What’s up, though?”
“Is Steve coming to game night on Monday? Talia wants to decide on teams now because she doesn’t want to get stuck with Eddie again.”
“Oh, um, me and him broke up…” The words felt so weird coming from your lips and you suddenly wondered if it had been stupid to not tell her and everyone else sooner. Instead, over the last few days, you simply didn’t talk about him because the timing never felt right enough to say what you should’ve said.
“Wait, what?” The confused look on Robin's face was easy to read. “Is that why you’re actually crying right now?”
You quickly shook your head. “No, no, it was just about the book. The Steve thing doesn’t even matter to me.”
“So, what happened? And when? Was it the trip? Did he hurt you? Do I need to kill him?”
You couldn’t help but laugh a little at how fast she was talking as she sat down at the foot of your bed. You turned to face her. “No, you don’t need to kill him, and yes, it happened right when we got back. We just realized that we want different things.” You shrugged halfheartedly. “Sorry, it took me so long to tell you; I know it’s only been a few days, but still. I just didn’t really wanna think about it, I guess.”
“It’s fine, that makes sense,” She assured you. “I know you and him weren’t dating for long but you two were really cute together.”
Hearing her say that, pulled at something in you for a second, but then you remembered that that just meant that you and Steve had been really good actors, pretenders, liars.
“Oh, what was the other thing you wanted to tell me?” You asked, shifting the subject. “You said fun news?”
Robin nodded. “Oh, yeah, I just found out about this party tonight at this girl’s lake house that’s an hour away. You wanna come?”
“I’m not really in a party mood,” You answered after the briefest moment of hesitation. It probably would’ve been good to get out of the apartment and actually do something that didn’t involve lounging on the couch in the living room, like you’d been doing since you got back from Mexico, but you couldn’t imagine leaving the confines of your room right then. “Sorry.”
“No, that’s understandable,” Robin told you. “I know you said that you’re fine about the breakup, but is there anything you want right now? We can watch a shitty movie, and Vickie will probably be okay with you having the last of her mint chocolate chip ice cream.”
You shook your head at her suggestions. “No, I’m okay, honestly. But, thanks, though.”
She smiled at you. “Of course, no problem. What are friends for if not someone to do cliche breakup stuff with? We could also burn any pictures you have of Steve, or throw eggs at his car, or key it?”
You laughed at that. “Great ideas, but hard no to all of them.”
“Okay, well, once you get to the anger stage of your grief, I’ll happily revisit any of those ideas with you.”
“There are no stages and there is no grief,” You told her as she got up from your bed. “I’m completely okay.”
“You’re voluntarily staying in on a Saturday night. I don’t know if I would call that “completely okay.””
“This is very normal behavior for me.”
She considered your words for a second. “Okay, yeah, maybe that’s true.” 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
It was the first time that the silence within the apartment felt okay. It actually wasn’t completely silent, you were watching a movie on the couch, but you were alone and felt entirely fine with that. 
You could feel yourself slowly falling asleep— head against one of the throw pillows and blanket pulled over you and it didn’t even really matter to you that it wasn’t even eleven o’clock yet— when there was a knock on the door. 
Weirdly enough, your immediate thought was that it was Steve, mainly because you knew that everyone else who could’ve been at the door right then was at a party an hour away.  
Instead, though, when you opened the door with your blanket still wrapped around you, it was Eddie standing there.
“Hey, I assumed you went with everyone to that lake house thing,” You said, pushing the door open further to let him in. 
“Robin mentioned it to me, but I had already planned on meeting up with a couple people from one of my classes at some bar,” He responded and you nodded as you closed the door behind him. 
You looked at him for a second. There was something weird about his demeanor right then. It seemed like something was wrong, and that quickly worried you because you couldn’t easily tell what that something was.
“Is everything okay?”
He shook his head, and for a few moments that was the only response you got, but then he was saying, “Not really.” 
“You’re being so–” You stopped mid-sentence when you finally noticed his right hand, how red and bruised it was. “Oh, shit, what the hell happened to your hand?”
“It looks worse than it feels,” He said, giving you a small smile. “Okay, actually, it feels pretty bad too.”
You dropped your blanket on the couch and then went over to the kitchen, grabbing one of the few small hand towels that sat next to the stove and then pulling some ice out of the freezer. 
“Come here,” You told him as you put the ice in the towel and made some sort of makeshift ice pack. Eddie joined you in the kitchen and you grabbed his bruised hand, softly placing the towel on top of it. You looked up at him. “What happened?”
He was quiet for way too long; things became almost unbearably quiet. You lightly nudged him with your foot. “Eddie.” 
He broke your gaze, looking down instead. “Fuck, it really sucks that I have to tell you this. I’m sorry.”
Hearing him say that only confused you further. “Tell me what?”
“I also saw Steve at the bar I was at…” Eddie started and then trailed off for a second. The look on his face made it seem as if the next thing he was about to say to you was going to be the most devastating thing ever. “And he was making out with some girl.”
“Oh,” Was all you said at first because you didn’t really understand why Eddie was telling you that right then and why he made it sound like the biggest deal in the world. And then, after the briefest of seconds, you were quickly realizing. “Oh.”
“I’m sorry,” Eddie told you, thinking that your “oh” was a sad one. “I wish I did a lot more than just punch him, but the security at that place is actually good so they immediately threw me out.”
Given what you two were currently doing in your kitchen, you should’ve expected Eddie to say that, but it still surprised you so much that you could feel your eyes widen. “What? You punched him?”
“Of course I did,” Eddie said, like it had been an obvious choice. “I saw him cheating on you.”
You dropped your hands from his and immediately covered your face. “Oh my god. I can’t believe you did that.”
“Please don’t try to defend him right now. I know you really like him, probably even love him, but what he did is so fucked up.”
You were shaking your head and kept your hands covering your face as you said, “He didn’t cheat on me.” 
“I’m sorry,” You heard Eddie say. “But, I promise you I know what I saw. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I wasn’t a thousand percent sure. I also wouldn’t have punched him if I wasn’t sure.”
You could’ve simply told him that you and Steve were broken up just like you told Robin earlier, but you suddenly felt tired of lying, and for once, telling the truth genuinely felt easier. 
You dropped your hands from your face and looked at Eddie. “He didn’t cheat on me because we're not together. We were never really together.” 
It surprisingly felt like so much of a relief to say it out loud, to finally be honest, so you kept going. “It was all fake; the entire relationship. And I’m so sorry for lying to you and to everyone. This entire thing ended up being so stupid and the worst idea ever. But, I don’t know, at first I thought it could be kinda good. And Steve thought so too; he was the one to suggest it actually, and he also had his own reasons for wanting to do this fake dating thing. I figured this could be the best way to do something about my feelings for you without outwardly admitting how I felt and potentially fucking up our friendship in the process, and I wouldn’t have to live in the unknown anymore like I’ve been since freshman year. And just for a second it seemed like it actually was working, and maybe you did feel something back. But then we had that conversation on your fire escape and I knew then that you’d never see me as anything more than as your best friend. It kinda hurt finally realizing that, but eventually it felt okay, though.” 
You let out a breath and inwardly felt as if the biggest weight had just been lifted off of your shoulders.
“You liked me?” That wasn’t exactly what you expected to hear Eddie say in response to your word vomit, but it made sense; it was the big “why” behind everything you did for the last month.  
“Yeah, sorry, I guess I kinda glossed over that part in my super long-winded explanation,” You said, a sudden shyness hit you and you looked away from him. “I did. I was stupidly in love for a really long time. I finally got over it after we had that conversation, though. But, I still had to fulfill my side of the deal I had with Steve, so I did that in Mexico and when we came back, that was it. Life was back to normal. But I was a fucking idiot and didn’t tell you that me and him were “broken up,” so here we are now.”
“I’m sorry,” Eddie said, a soft look on his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t know how you felt. I’m sorry I couldn’t see it.”
“No, please don’t be sorry. This is all on me. I did all of this complicated shit instead of simply talking to you about everything,” You said, leaning back against the counter. “Because you were so right that day, we are just meant to be best friends. That's the way that we’re supposed to be in each other’s lives. I get that now.”  
He got quiet again, probably still processing everything that you had just told him, which you had to admit was a lot. 
“Are we okay?” You asked when the silence started becoming too much to bear. “Did this fuck everything up like I thought it would?” 
Eddie shook his head at your questions. “Of course not. You could never fuck things up between us, and I feel really bad that you ever thought that you could, and I also wish that I had felt the same way about you… I do love you. It’s just…”
The smallest part of you expected to feel hurt finally hearing the rejection, but surprisingly you didn’t. “Just not in that way. I know. It’s okay. Please don’t feel bad. I know that we shouldn’t be together. I’ve accepted that,” You told him. “And I really wanna say that we should just forget this entire conversation ever happened because it would make things a lot easier and I’d also feel a lot less embarrassed if we did, but I don’t think we should do that. This may sound weird, but it actually feels kind of good having the truth out in the open.”
“Okay,” He said with a nod.
You looked back down at his hand and the towel covering it. 
“How’s it feeling?” You asked, slightly shifting the subject. 
“Better, kinda. The ice feels good,” He answered and then let out something that sounded like a breath of a laugh and a scoff in disbelief as he shook his head. “Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I punched him.”
“Me neither. But thank you for defending my honor, I guess?”
He smiled at you; a genuine smile that let you know that things were actually okay between you two. “Anytime.” 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
“So, everything with Steve was fake,” Eddie said when you two were settled on the couch, the movie you had put on earlier still playing. His words sounded slightly like a question, but also like he was still just trying to make sense of everything that you had previously told him.
“Yes, and let’s wait at least a month before we start joking about this. I need to let my poor bruised ego heal first,” You responded, dramatically pressing your hands to your heart, a small smile on your face. 
Eddie laughed a bit. “Deal.” 
And you expected that to be that. Everything was out in the open and everything was fine. You still had to tell everyone else the truth, but you knew that would end up being okay too. And once you did tell everyone, everything could all be put in the past and you could finally move on from it. There wouldn’t be anything lingering or festering; no “what ifs” or whatever else. 
“Can I ask something?” Eddie asked, voice getting soft again, and you nodded in response, unsure where he was going to go with his question. “Was it hard keeping how you felt a secret? I’m trying to think about if the roles were reversed, and I don’t think I would’ve been able to keep it from you.” 
“Honestly, sometimes it was hard, but also not really. And I know that’s kind of a contradictory answer, but it’s true,” You answered, somehow finding it so easy to be honest now. “For the most part, my feelings were shoved to the side and I pretended that they weren’t there. Like, when you were dating Chrissy, because I obviously didn’t wanna get between what you two had, and when you two broke up, because I knew that you weren’t ready for anything new. They still lingered deep down, though. And it was always random moments when I would get reminded that they were still there. But, keeping our friendship intact always felt more important than admitting anything because I love our friendship.”
He nodded understandingly. “I love it too.”
“Okay, this is kind of random, but do you remember that frat party we went to freshman year right before winter break?” You asked, and before he could say anything in response, you continued, forcing yourself to say what you had never said out loud before. “We were both stupidly drunk, and at one point— I think it was right before we were about to leave— you got, like, pushed into me by some random person, and we were standing really close, and then we, uh, kissed.”
The surprised look on his face was entirely expected. “I vaguely remember the party. But, I don’t remember the kiss, though. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. When we talked about the party the day after, you basically said that it was all kind of a blur to you, so that’s what I figured. I wasn't entirely sure if you didn’t remember it, so a part of me had wanted to ask back then, but in that moment I thought it was just easier to let it go.” 
It was almost startling how honest you were being with him right then— saying things that you didn’t think you’d ever admit out loud— and how perfectly okay it all felt. And weirdly enough, this also felt like the most honest you’d ever been with yourself too. 
“Thinking about it now,” You continued. “That probably should’ve been the moment that I let myself get over you. Because I could’ve told you about the kiss right then and there, but I didn’t want whatever your response would be— whether it be a rejection or whatever else— to change anything between us. And it was the same thing when we came back from break, and I was so close to admitting everything to you, but you told me that you and Chrissy were together first. I probably should’ve still told you then. And maybe I never did because deep down I always knew that nothing should change between us. I don’t know… A part of me is still trying to make it all make sense. But then, at the same time, I've been trying to avoid it all and not think about it.” You sighed. “The last couple of weeks have been pretty weird and confusing.”
“Maybe it’s not supposed to easily make sense, or make sense at all. And I know that’s probably a shit response, but…” Eddie trailed off and then shrugged after a moment. 
“No, I get what you mean,” You said, nodding at his words, and then you thought about something. “Honestly, the only thing that has ever really made sense with us is this. Watching movies together, listening to music, talking about unserious things, and also talking about the most serious things ever; stuff I never thought to tell anyone else.” You smiled at him. “Oh, and getting stuck in elevators together too.” 
He smiled back at you before saying, “The elevator thing sadly only happened once.” 
“We can try to recreate it one day.”
“Great idea,” Eddie responded with a nod. “The elevator in that building is still probably shitty.” 
“So true. And if not, we can just start jumping in it and that’ll probably do the job.”
“Or it will kill us.”   
You couldn’t help but laugh at that and Eddie laughed too and then winced as he readjusted the towel on his hand. 
That was what made you finally think about Steve. Was he even okay? 
And then you immediately felt like shit for not considering that question sooner. 
You abruptly got up from the couch and headed into your room before Eddie could question you. You grabbed the Advil bottle from your bathroom and then tossed it over to him when you walked back out into the living room. 
“For the pain. Take two of these and try to go to sleep. You can even take my bed if you wanna,” You told him and then headed to the fridge to grab a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer. “I'm gonna go check on Steve. And yes, I’m stealing your van.”
Eddie pulled his keys out of his jacket pocket and handed them over to you. There was an amused look on his face. “When’s the last time you drove?”
“Don’t question my driving skills right now, Munson,” You said as you slipped the keys into the pocket of the sweatpants you were wearing and then grabbed the first zip-up hoodie you saw hanging on one of the hooks by the door. “Goodnight.” 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
It wasn’t until you were standing outside the door of Steve’s apartment that you realized that maybe he wasn’t even here. He’d been on a date, or at least, with someone when Eddie saw him, so there was a chance that he was still with her. 
Still, though, you knocked. And, surprisingly enough, he answered.
His face— more specifically, his left eye— looked bad; very bruised, and already settled into the dark red and purplish color that it would probably be for the next few days. 
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry,” You said, immediately handing over the frozen peas you had in your hand; they obviously weren’t as cold as they were before the twenty-minute drive to get here, but they still felt good enough. “All of this is my fault. It completely slipped my mind to tell Eddie that we “broke up.” I didn’t tell anyone, actually, except for Robin, but that was just today. I’m really sorry. The last few days have been weird.”
Steve gave you a small smile that felt entirely undeserved and he pushed the door open further so that you could walk into his apartment. “It’s okay.” 
You shook your head. “It’s really not. You have a black eye because of me being an idiot.”
“This would be the part where I’d say that you should see the other guy to prove that this isn’t as bad as it looks, but you’ve already seen him, so that doesn’t really work in this situation,” Steve told you jokingly and you shook your head, giving him a small smile back. You still felt like shit, but at least he didn’t seem to hate you for causing all of this. “How did you get here?” 
“I drove Eddie’s van. He came to my place after it happened,” You said and Steve nodded understandingly. “You’re right, though. His hand looks worse than your eye.” You weren’t entirely sure if that was even true— in all honesty, their injuries probably looked about the same on the bad scale— but it felt like the right thing to say at this moment. “I told him everything, by the way. About our whole relationship being fake and me doing it because I had feelings for him.”
Steve looked as if he didn’t expect to hear you say that. “How did that go?”
“Surprisingly good,” You answered honestly. He gave you an almost congratulatory-looking smile in response and you quickly shook your head. “No, not good in that way. He doesn’t feel that way about me. And I knew that. There was this conversation that I had with him before all of this that kind of solidified that for me. It wasn’t some huge moment where he outwardly said that he didn’t like me, but it gave me the push I needed to finally accept that me and him are only meant to be friends. I don’t even feel any other way about him now.” You let out a sigh before letting out a different part of the truth. “I kinda lied to you in Mexico and the days leading up to it. I knew the truth about everything then, but I felt too embarrassed to tell you and I also just really didn’t want to think about it.”
“Shit, I’m sorry this didn’t work for you,” He sounded so genuine about it and gave you a sad look that reminded you of exactly what you didn’t want to happen. 
You shook your head. “Don’t do that. Please don’t feel sorry for me.” 
“I was the one that kept telling you from the beginning that this was gonna work so now I feel kinda bad that it didn’t.” 
“Okay, yeah, that’s true but it doesn’t matter now,” You told him. “And just because this didn’t work for me doesn’t mean that I regret it— I honestly don’t regret it. It was dumb and a waste of time for me, but still, I don’t really regret it. Also, you got what you wanted out of this, right?”
Steve nodded after a second. “Yeah, I actually talked to my mom yesterday and she asked about you and I told her that we broke up.”
“Did you make me a cheater?” 
“Yeah, and I think she actually feels bad. But, we’ll see in a week or two if she brings up the Hamptons,” He answered. “I kind of doubt that she will, though. I tried to seem really upset about everything.” 
“I wish I could’ve been there for that phone call. I would’ve loved to see your acting skills.”
He smiled at your joking words. “They were fantastic.”
“Good,” You responded. “So, no finding your future wife this summer?” 
“Hopefully not.”  
“Congratulations,” You told him. “And you’re welcome for me being the greatest girlfriend during the Mexico trip.”
“I don’t know if I should thank you since I do have a black eye now because of you.”
You could tell he was joking, but you still decided to play into it. “Wow, so, you are mad at me for that!”
He playfully rolled his eyes at you. “I was kidding.”
“It’s okay to be mad at me. It would be deserved, honestly. And I’d completely understand if you hate me now. You should hate me.”
He gave you a serious look, but there was still the smallest smile on his face. “Stop.” 
You held up your hands in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. I did just give you a bag of sort of frozen peas to help with your eye, so I feel like you can’t be that mad at me, anyway.” 
“And I will cherish this bag of peas for the rest of my life,” He told you as he placed them over his bruised eye and you could only laugh at that. 
A comfortable silence lingered for a second, and it was what let you know that this should probably be it. It had barely been ten minutes, but you’d done everything that you felt as if you needed to do— you checked on him, made sure he was okay, and told him the truth— there was nothing else to do. 
But, instead of saying something equivalent to the simple “Goodbye” that should’ve left your lips right then, you said, “Can I stay for a bit?” 
“Yeah, sure,” Steve answered with a nod.
“You got throw pillows,” You pointed out as you sat on his couch. You grabbed one of the two gray pillows and placed it in your lap. 
“Yeah, somebody once told me that my couch looked sad and lonely,” He said and that made you smile.
“Still no curtains, though,” You responded, gesturing to the windows.
“One day I’ll get around to it.”
You gave him a quick nod. “Got it.” 
Steve put on a show that you both had seen before and things were quiet for a bit as you rewatched the familiar episode. 
“Oh, you were sadly right, by the way,” You abruptly said, turning to look at him. “I finished the book and the son did die.”
“Oh, yeah, I know. When we got back I wanted to find out what happened, so I finished reading it.”
Hearing that surprised you, and it also made you inwardly smile. “Really?”
“Mhm,” Steve nodded and then gave you a certain look. “You cried at the end, didn’t you?”
“Of course I did. I really didn’t think that he would die,” You answered. “And shut up, don’t judge me about it.” 
“I promise I wasn’t gonna.”
“I don’t know if I believe you.” 
“Scouts honor.”
“And now I’m supposed to believe you were a boy scout?” You joked. “You don’t seem outdoorsy enough for that.”
“Ouch, I feel offended.”
You laughed as you turned your attention back to the TV. You noticed that the show playing was the same one that you and him had been watching before the power outage; a night that felt like forever ago. 
This moment felt like the exact opposite of that one. You remembered how weird things initially felt then between you two, or maybe that awkwardness had been entirely in your head. Either way, the main thing that was different here was that in that previous moment, you’d been stuck with him because of the storm and power outage, and in this moment, you weren’t stuck.  
It was then that you were hit with the thought of, What the hell were you doing here right now?
You two weren’t even really friends, you remembered. You reminded yourself of what Steve said that night a few days ago and what you two both agreed on from the beginning— going your separate ways once all of this was done and over. 
Everything that had happened this past month was fake. And even though you’d been able to recognize that, you had still let a part of you miss it; let yourself miss something that you knew you’d never be able to get back. For the past few days, you thought it was okay to let the smallest part of you feel that way— miss the faking and the pretending and the brief friendship that developed because of all of that. But maybe it wasn’t okay. Maybe it was only making things worse and more complicated. 
“Actually, I should go,” You abruptly stood up from the couch, placing the pillow back in the spot you picked it up from. You turned to look at Steve and forced a small smile that you hoped didn’t look that way. “This isn’t following the ‘going our separate ways’  rule.” 
He gave you a confused look for a second, and then he was nodding in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right.” 
“I know I was kinda joking about it before, but I really am sorry about all of this,” You said as you walked over to his door, turning to look at him before pulling it open. 
He shook his head. “Don’t be.” 
You decided against saying anything else right then and instead smiled at him one final time before forcing yourself to leave.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
next part!
taglist (lmk if you want to be added or taken off<333); @eddiernunson , @loulouloueh , @the-aster , @blckburd , @totally-bogus-timelady , @yujyujj , @irhdifartzamfyaa , @mochminnie , @munsonssweets , @blckbrrybasket , @xprloki , @definitionwanderlust , @dwcode , @sun-fiower-seed , @keerysfolklore , @damon-loves-pie , @lodeddiperrodrick , @bisexual-and-intellectual , @munsonburn3r , @negomi123 , @khena , @facexthexsunshine , @seatbacksandtraytables , @suckerfordylansstuff
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raayllum · 3 days
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Moon Arcanum Callum + Sun Arcanum Claudia in S7?
Callum getting the Moon arcanum has been a fandom... not theory, but shall we say, prospect, since even before S4. Some of this was because of the seeming set up in previous seasons, such as:
Callum having a hunch that the cube wasn't glowing due to the Moon, and being our first hint at illusions on the Cursed Caldera (1x09)
Lujanne explaining the secret of the arcanum (as she understands it) to him in 2x02
Callum doing moon arcanum spells (3x08, Through the Moon) much the way he did Sky spells before unlocking that arcanum
Callum employing aspects of the Moon arcanum in his plans (3x01 with tricking Sol Regem, creating the illusion pearl in 6x01)
His growing relationship and understanding with Rayla, and potential involvement with her family/village
But especially:
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This is of course already reflected in spades in his arc as a mage. Everyone, Lujanne included, believes that humans can't do magic. She treats this as absolute fact and destiny, but Callum perceives it as subjective truth; why can't he just make his own connection and do magic anyway? And in doing so, he changes the world. He creates a radically new, better reality.
With season seven's synopsis on sacrifice and life and death, both things we see tied heavily to Moonshadow culture and the Moon itself, I could see Callum connecting to the Moon arcanum next season for a few reasons (and potentially Claudia with the Sun arcanum, which I'll get to after). So let's get into it.
Precursor
Previously, if Callum was going to connect to the Moon arcanum, I'd speculated it'd mostly be around ideas of the consistency of Love (light or dark, the moon is always the moon) and his love for Rayla being his light in the darkness / the one constant truth of his life. I don't think this anymore, obviously, because we got all those things through the Star truth light ritual beat for beat and we're not going to be repeating, but I did think it'd be worthwhile then to revisit what a Moon arcanum could mean for Callum under new context / emotional epiphanies. I've also always thought either Earth or Sun would suit Claudia, but leaned more towards the latter, so we're gonna talk about that, too.
Truth and Lies and Aaravos
As Lujanne explains in 2x02, the Moon arcanum is understanding the true nature of the relationship between appearances and reality, and we can only understand the appearance itself. This feels like a very fitting idea to come back to with Aaravos, who ostensibly never lies but routinely withholds or presents not entirely correct information. "How may I serve you?" when you're just going to be a pawn. Not telling a mourning Claudia that he was indeed the one who killed Viren so that she'll continue to do his bidding, with Claudia asserting that Aaravos "didn't lie" about the ritual in 6x01, and he didn't. We also see him wield the truth as a weapon with people like Khessa ("would you like to know the truth of her fate before you meet yours?") and Sol Regem (more on that here.)
Everything that he says is truth to him, and then he lifts it up as being objectively true (i.e. you're destined to play into my hands) even when it isn't necessarily true. We can also see Callum veering into mindsets that Claudia and Viren have had, where he believes he's past the point of saving ("I'm ruined, it's too late for me" "Promise me you'll kill me") or removing his own agency by admission ("Finnegrin was going to kill you, I didn't have a choice" / "Every step forward is a choice").
Callum understanding Aaravos' or others' actual truths versus their lies and the ones he's believing could be very fitting in S6, especially if he might be learning more about the existence of the Cosmic Council and who made their world the way it is. I think his existence may help lead to that "slow spiral of chaos" but that it won't be just or even Bad at all the way they'd feared, etc.
Claudia is also linked to lies and truth. She lies to others, but Aaravos notes that "If you tell the truth you will lose her," and she goes looking for her own deep truth in S6, but doesn't seem to fully find it. Terry asks her "What do you need to find your one deep truth?" and Claudia says that she needs her dad, but she and her mother have also made it clear that she "needed to stay with Soren" and her family (vs Viren telling her to pick the egg over Soren). With Viren gone and Aaravos manipulating her, Soren could easily be one of her guiding lights next season or in future seasons.
The Pearl
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The moon is analogous, framing/appearance wise, to the prison. This is alluded to in 5x09 through framing, and then made even more direct in 6x09: Aaravos escapes his prison thanks to Claudia and (unbeknownst to her) she has become the prisoner, much like how Callum may physically free himself from chains in 5x08 but magically/emotionally chains himself further to Aaravos, or Viren shouting while in chains that he's finally free of the dark puppetmaster.
Basically, when Callum says in 6x01 that he's inside the pearl, I don't think (as of S6 / probably first half of S7 at least) that he's ever gotten out of it. Aaravos uses him even after his nightmare, and we know thanks to the pawn intro that Aaravos' final machinations for Callum also haven't yet come to play. I've been wondering if the Aaravos intro is going to change in S7, since he's out of his prison — and it still may — but if we look at it from the angle of Callum and Claudia both being stuck within the moon/pearl rather than just Aaravos himself, maybe it could stay.
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And if Callum is stuck inside the moon-pearl, shattering it by understanding the arcanum ("the whole world is like a giant primal stone, and we're inside of it, and it's also in us") and/or with Claudia moving to the opposite of the moon could be useful, especially since Karim is a corrupted sun in his own way. Speaking of which let's talk about
Light and Dark
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We know thanks to Claudia that black and white, or light and dark, are not always clear cut. Her hair thanks to her dark magic use changes like phases of the moon, with the light being bad and the dark being good. Conversely, her path is a dark one with the path of truth and light being withheld from her. In a similar manner, we see Callum's light (Rayla) being what led him into dark magic use and what led him out of it, and will likely see this pattern play out again. Aaravos is a representation of a path of darkness, but we also see the cube flashing a bright light in the pawn intro, tying light and darkness together for him as well.
Callum's understanding of himself that he gained through the Ocean arcanum can not simply become untrue or disappear, so I think recognizing that darkness isn't all he is ("I'm ruined" / "your heart's not full of darkness" "Neither is yours") even if there are dark parts of him and of his life would be fitting. It also seems that could be helpful with Claudia as well, and even characters like Ezran, who will have to wrestle with darker parts of his emotions/personality next season as well with Runaan. They've all got light and dark inside them, and learning how to walk in that balance and still break away from the Cycle / Aaravos is useful. As Ezran said in 4x03:
I just want to yell stop. But that’s not enough. It won’t work. I think about a positive vision, a faith we can all share, that we might build a future together in hope. A future where we can be safe with each other.  But… It’s not that easy or simple. Because people are still hurting and they are still angry. We can’t ignore that, or pretend it will go away. Somehow, we have to hold it all in our hearts at the same time. We have to acknowledge the weight of the pain and loss, but open up our eyes and allow ourselves to hope and maybe forgive and love again. We have to give today’s children a chance to inherit a future filled with peace. To give them that, we have to hold pain and love in our hearts at the same time.
Claudia's love for her family led her to ruin, but it can also save her through Soren. Callum's love for Rayla led him to ruin, but it has also saved him (and again, we'll likely repeat this pattern). Ezran's love for his father will lead him to anger but also pull him out of it, just as Viren's love for his son caused him to begin his journey of terrible things, but also guided him to do one final, truly right thing by the end.
Love is light and dark. Claudia, who's been walking in shadow, needs the full light - the sun, in the form of her brother. She needs to accept and see the truth of what's happening and step fully into the light. Callum, who has been routinely worried of the dark within him, needs to the reminder that he's not all he is, that he has light of his own inside. In doing so, he can break Aaravos' control over him and give hope to any other dark mages / humans in general that no level of corruption is too late to come back from, and that there is always light amid the darkness.
Life and Death
The stakes have never been higher as Aaravos and Claudia are on the warpath, determined to destroy the Cosmic Order and invert life and death. With the world’s fate on the line, our heroes must be ready to sacrifice everything to save it.
In Bloodmoon Huntress, we get a very different peek into how the secret of the Moon arcanum can be thought of through Runaan, who is peak Moonshadow-sacrifice elf man:
Moonshadow form is only achieved when we understand the balance of life against death. Balance is weight against weight, and to understand the weight of death you must feel the weight and value of another's life. Think of those you love, of who you hold most dear. Now think of the souls who have touched your life. Understand that each time your weapon meets its target, each time we fulfil our duty, the potential for that soul to change a life—to love another—is gone. We may remove hate, but we remove the potential for love as well. Moonshadow form is only achieved when we reconcile this balance between life and death.
While Claudia with her hair and dark mage-assassin parallels could unlock the Moon arcanum—especially if her perspectives continue to change—I think Callum as the Protagonist is better placed at this time to be the one to understand the balance between life and death in a season where the antagonists are trying to invert/destroy it. Him therefore understanding appearances and changes, how to control his own and see through others', understanding that balance between life and death, feels very fitting.
Callum's fear of Aaravos and dark magic comes from the fear that he's changing—"I hope you're careful, cause [magic] can change people" / "the corruption takes innocent creatures and changed them"—and that death would be better for him than life if he goes too far. Learning these things aren't the case and that he can get back to the middle (and indeed, "real trust is about accepting even the dark parts we will never know" could be about Rayla accepting he may not entirely swear off dark magic again, the same way Viren kept that door open to do Good) would be useful.
It would also mean the two mage characters most drawn into Aaravos' darkness get the Moon and Sun—the arcanums most associated with light—to banish said darkness as well. Claudia finally being an uncorrupted light and chasing life, not death, and Callum, learning how to be balanced and that he can maintain his identity / use Aaravos' book and key without fearing that he'll lose control.
The fact that Claudia's eclipse imagery only started the same episode she lost her brother, and that her Laurelion dragon-scale necklace is very Sunfire-y looking...
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Conclusion
TDP for Callum and Claudia has always felt like a parallel coming-of-age mage story between the two of them, leading to the amount of similarities and diverging plot beats the two have, down to doing the same spell at the same time but in different locations in S6. The Sun arcanum is associated with truth, light, and healing, whereas the Moon arcanum is associated with change, life + death, and secrets/love. All of these things could be nicely brought to a head with Callum and Claudia each unlocking an arcanum of Moon and Sun respectively, showcasing their differences, their continued room to grow, and light amid the darkness.
While I could see alternatives like Sun for Callum and Moon for Claudia, Stars for Callum or no arcanum for either of them, I think these are the ones that fit best at this time / Stars will likely get saved for arc 3 given that arc 3 will probably focus more on rewriting destinies and the Cosmic Order as antagonists.
As always hope you enjoy and Dragons out!
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allthesmutl0vers · 2 days
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Fred Weasley x F! Reader Smut
MDNI, 18+ Requests: OPEN Reblogs and comments are always appreciated.🥰💖 Request: Smut with Fred or George, female reader please! Requested By: @justgethappy Word Count: 3,251 A/N: Sorry this took me so long, I had a family emergency. But I think it might be worth the wait. 🫡🌶️🫠 Summary: You've been crushing on your best friend, Fred Weasley, for years. One night, during a game of truth or dare in the common room, you're forced to finally admit your feelings. Unbeknownst to you, he already knows and has been waiting for you to admit it so he can ravage you in the way he's only ever dreamed about. TW: Heavy spice (P! in V!- Unprotected, but on birth control), light BDSM (choking, some bondage), Oral (M & F receiving and giving), Gagging (no vomit), Possessive!Fred, Spanking, Claiming Kink, Praise Kink, Degradation Kink, God Kink. (Let me know if I missed anything.)
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"Nervous?" Fred asks as he sits down beside me. My heart flutters as his hand brushes mine as he leans back on his hands. How I've managed to focus on anything all of these years with him always at my side is nothing short of a miracle.
I shake my head with a small smile spreading across my lips. "Nope," Liar. I lie and lean closer, smelling fireworks and cedar. God, why does he have to smell so good? "You?" I ask as Lee sits down with an empty bottle in the middle of all of us.
Fred chuckles, biting his lower lip with a smirk as he looks me up and down. "Not even a little," he winks. He's such a flirt that for just a moment, I think he actually might be flirting with me. But that's crazy. Not only did he just break up with Katie Bell, he's my best friend, not to mention the biggest fucking flirt in the school.
"Everyone ready?" Lee asks, rubbing his hands together with a smirk. We all nod and agree, and he clears his throat. "Brilliant. Now, remember, you have to do your dare or answer your truth honestly. If you don't, you get a jinx, and we'll know you're lying anyway. Not to mention, you'll have to live with the jinx for a whole day," he laughs.
My stomach flips with nerves. I don't think I could live with 'liar' or 'wimp' painted across my forehead for a day. My plan of action is just to pick 'truth' the entire game. It's better to admit something embarrassing than have to do some horrific dare like stripping and running down the corridor and back like Lee had to do last time.
As the game goes on, I'm lucky enough to not have to bottle land on me. Angelina is dared to make out with George. Lee admits to having stolen from Honeydukes multiple times. Harry had to take a shot while doing a handstand. George had to eat an entire handful of puke-flavored Bertie Bott's Beans. (Lucky for Angelina, it was after their make out session.) And Fred was dared to give Harry a very sultry lap dance. I might just make it out of this game unscathed. At least, that's what I thought until the bottle landed on me.
"Y/n," Lee smirks. "Truth or dare, love?" He wiggles his eyebrows at me. He knows I'll pick truth, but he also knows about my crush on Fred. If I pick truth, he'll no doubt ask about it. But if I pick dare, he'll no doubt make me act on it.
I take a deep breath and sit up. "Truth," I tell him in a flat voice that contrasts the adrenaline and nervousness rushing through my veins, and settling deep in my stomach.
Lee smirks and looks at Fred before looking back at me. "Y/n, is it true you have a crush on one of our Weasley twins?" My stomach drops, and the only thing keeping me from completely passing out is the fact he didn't specifically name Fred.
I weigh the options for a moment, which is pointless because if I say no, the jinx will out me anyway. "Yes," I admit, barely above a whisper, as I feel my cheeks flush. Goddamn it, Lee.
"Which one?" Angelina asks from my other side, her eyes narrowing at me. Shit, maybe Lee should've asked if it was Fred. I know Angelina likes George, and as much as I love him, he's all hers if she wants.
"I answered my truth," I try to play it off as a joke. I can tell her in private later if I have to.
Angelina spins the bottle, then stops it as it lands on me again. "Truth or dare?" She damn near spits at me.
"That's not-"
"Pick," Angelina practically seethes.
"Truth," I answer hesitantly.
"Which one do you like? Fred or George?" She asks sternly. Merlin, I could strangle her with my bare hands right now. I say a silent prayer for George if this is what he's into. But from the look on his face, he might be rethinking Angelina. "We're waiting," she says impatiently when I don't answer right away.
"Fred," I admit, feeling the blooming jinx fade away. I watch relief wash over her face, and she smiles. I'm so glad you're relieved, bitch. Because I might just fucking die. I pull my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, and refuse to look at Fred, who I can feel staring me down. "Let's just keep playing," I mutter, my heart not into it anymore.
When the game finally ends, I sit and watch everyone else leave before I stand and let out a huge sigh. Whatever fallout comes from admitting my feelings for Fred can wait until tomorrow. "Y/n," Fred's voice says softly behind me as I reach the stairs that lead to the girls dorms.
Guess we're dealing with it tonight.
I turn to look at my best friend as he steps closer. "Fred, I-" he cuts me off by taking my face in his hands and pressing his lips to mine harshly. Fuck, is this really happening? I lean into it, my hands finding his waist and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.
When our lips finally part, my eyes flutter open, looking up into his eyes. "It's about bloody time you admit it," he chuckles against my lips. "Merlin, woman. You know how to keep a man waiting."
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What do you mean? You knew?" I ask, a soft gasp escaping my lips.
Fred chuckles, shaking his head and resting his forehead down on mine. His hands roam to my waist, gripping me tightly and making me suck in a breath. "Darling, I always knew. I was just waiting for you," he says with a smirk. "Why do you think I left Katie?" he shakes his head, lifting it and tipping my face up to his by my chin. "She isn't you," he grips me tighter, making me clench my thighs. "You take up so much damn space in my head. I couldn't cum unless I was looking at the back of her head, pretending she was you," he says huskily.
I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out, leaving me looking like a blubbering fish. He pretended someone else was me? He left someone because they weren't me? My brain is in a fog. The only thing it's able to focus on is Fred, fucking. I've imagined it so many times as I pleasure myself under my sheets. I feel my panties dampen at the thought of Fred between them, fucking me better, harder than anyone else before.
"Show me," the words escape my mouth before I can stop them.
Fred looks at me as if I just handed him a million galleons. "Don't temp me, darling. Say you don't mean it," he says huskily, his grip on my hips tightening to the point of pain, but I don't move away.
I bite my lower lip, my teeth biting into the tender flesh under his darkening gaze. "I mean it," I tell him.
Fred groans, his head tipping back before his eyes meet mine again. "Come with me."
Fred grabs my hand, leading me to his dorm room. I can see it's empty, but that doesn't mean that Lee or George won't be back soon. Fred doesn't seem bothered by it, however, given the way he spins me, pinning me to his door. One of his hands pins both of my wrists above my head, the other hand gripping my waist as he presses his lips to mine.
I hum with pleasure into the kiss, parting my lips to allow his tongue to enter when he licks my bottom lip. Fred groans, his grip on my wrists tightening as he moves to kiss down my jaw, my neck, and the sweet spot right behind my ear that turns me into putty in his hands. "Freddie," I whisper.
"Mm, yes, darling?" He hums as his other hand moves to my ass, cupping it and lifting my leg to wrap around his waist.
I hold back a moan as my desire and lust for him only grows. "What- what if they come back?" I ask with a hiss as he nips my neck.
Fred chuckles in my neck, his breath sending a pleasurable shiver down my spine. His eyes meet mine, the usual funny and kind sparkle in them long forgotten as they darken. "Don't worry about them. They won't be back tonight," he says firmly.
I nod, helpless, as he lifts me by my thighs and carries me to his bed, laying me down on my back. Fred kisses me again, kneeling between my legs as his fingers work to unbutton my top with haste. Once all of the buttons are undone, he lifts me by the small of my back as I remove it the rest of the way, taking off my bra along with it.
Fred pulls back, breaking the kiss as he looks me up and down, biting his lower lip. "Merlin, have mercy, woman," he groans. He lays me back down, propping himself up on one hand as the other moves to grope my breast, his fingers pinching and rolling my nipple between them, making me let out a whimpering moan. "You're so fucking beautiful. You have no idea how long I've waited for this."
My fingers unbutton his top, tugging on it so remove it as he leans back to finish pulling it off. "Then get to it, Weasley," I tease with a smirk. I stare at his chest with need. Merlin, quidditch does a body good. His toned and muscular shoulders, his profound abs tensing at my teasing.
Fred's hands move up my thighs painfully slow to the waistband of my skirt and panties, pulling them both down and tossing them aside in one fluid motion, leaving me bare in front of him. "Watch your tone, darling," he warns as he cups my pussy, making me gasp as he slides a finger between my folds and circles my entrance, careful not to touch my clit.
"Or else you won't let me cum?" I tease, grinding myself against his hand, desperate for his fingers to reach my clit.
Fred smirks as he leans over me again, thrusting a finger inside of me and eliciting a moan to leave my throat. "No, darling," he teases back as he curls a finger inside of me, pressing right on that spongy sweet spot inside of me, making me pant with need. "Or else I'll make you cum so hard you'll cry," he says, nipping my nipple. "Begging me to take it easy as you cum over, and over again."
I feel my walls clench around his fingers as he slides another one inside of me. "Mmm, but it seems like you want that, don't you?" Fred taunts as his thumb finally lands on my clit.
I nod, moaning softly as he works his fingers with perfect precision in and out of me as his thumb rubs my clit. "Yes... God, yes," I whimper underneath him, my nails scratching down his sides and making him shiver. I undo his pants and reach into them, grasping his rock-hard cock. Fuck, he's so big. How is that supposed to fit?
Fred groans, tilting his head back as he thrusts into my hand. "Such a good girl for me," he praises. He leans down, kissing the sweet spot behind my ear again as he whispers into my ear. "I need to taste you. I might just die if I don't," he pleads.
I tilt my head, pressing my lips to his with a moan. "Yes, Freddie. I need it," I whimper against his lips.
"Mm, then get on my face, darling. Take your seat on your throne," he says with a groan as he pulls back, taking his devious fingers with him. He takes off his pants and boxers, kicking them off to the side as he lays on his back.
I feel a blush creep onto my cheeks. "What if you can't breathe?" I ask nervously as he pulls me onto his face to ride it reverse-cowgirl.
Fred slaps my ass, making me gasp as he grips my hips. "I swear to God, darling. If you don't sit on my fucking face, then I will die. Now sit on your goddamn throne and let me eat my pussy," he demands.
He doesn't leave me with any option as he pushes my thighs apart, forcing me to sit on his face. "F-Fuck!" I moan loudly as his tongue dives inside my entrance, thrusting in and out as he devours me whole. My eyes find his long, thick cock as the tip drips with pre-cum, making my mouth water. I lean forward, pushing my pussy into his face and making him groan.
I take his cock in my hand, pumping it a few times before I lick slow circles around his tip with my tongue. Fred moans, gripping my hips tighter as his tongue lands on my clit. I take his cock in my mouth, sucking as I take him deeper in my throat, my hand pumping his cock where my mouth can't reach.
Fred smacks my ass again, drawing another moan from me around his cock. "Fuck, yes," he moans against my clit, adding the perfect amount of vibration. His hips thrust up, forcing me to take more of him down my throat. Tears prick my eyes as I gag around his cock when it hits the back of my throat. "That's it, darling. Gag for me like a good little slut," he growls.
I feel myself get wetter from the mix of his filthy words and his praise. My legs begin to shake on either side of his head as my orgasm begins to crest. "F-Freddie, I'm gonna-"
"Cum for me, darling. Give it all to me," Fred demands from beneath my thighs as he begins to suck on my clit. My hands grip the sheets, digging in as the tether inside of me snaps, and I let out a loud moan, a string of curses, and his name as Fred rides me through my orgasm with his devilish tongue.
When my orgasm finally fades, I'm a shaking, whimpering mess as he lifts me, switching up our positions and laying me on my back again. "You're so beautiful when you come undone for me," he praises softly, kissing me and allowing me to taste myself on his lips. "Do it again," he says as he lines his cock up with my entrance.
I moan and whimper as he pushes his long and thick cock inside of me. I've never taken anyone of his size before, and it hurts at first. "Relax, darling," Fred says softly, holding still as I adjust to his size. "That's my girl," he says sweetly, kissing my neck. "Are you ready?" he asks, his expression caring.
"It's not all the way in?!" I ask in shock as my body begins to relax around him.
Fred chuckles and shakes his head. "Only half-way," he smirks, nipping my bottom lip between his teeth. "Though I appreciate the sentiment," he teases.
I let out a shaky breath and smirk. "You're insufferable," I tease.
Fred hums as he pushes himself inside of me further, settling into the hilt. "Just for you," he says lovingly. He leans back, looking down at where his cock starts to thrust in and out of me, gripping my thighs. "You take me so well. Fucking made for me," he groans.
I grip the pillow above my head. "God, Freddie, it's yours," I moan softly as the pain disappears and melts into Earth-shattering pleasure.
A low growl escapes Fred's throat as his speed picks up. "Damn right, it's mine," he moans. "All," he thrusts. "Fucking," another hard thrust. "Mine," he emphasizes with a hard thrust, making me mewl and writhe under him.
"Fred, God, yes!" I cry out as he leans down, his thrusts unrelenting. His hand wraps around my throat, not cutting off my air, but cutting off the blood flow to my head.
"Don't cry out for God, he's not the one fucking you," Fred moans darkly. "I'm your God now. Cry out for me," Fred demands.
I whimper, my hands draping around his neck. "Freddie," I moan as his thrusts quicken. "Freddie, yes. You're- You're my God," I whimper.
"And you're my parishioner," he answers. "My devout little lamb," he praises as he releases my throat, allowing the blood to flow back to my brain as he sits back on his ankles. His thumb rubs my clit fast as his thrusts get harder, pounding into me with unrelenting force.
My legs begin to shake again as my orgasm threatens to crash into me like a bludger. My moans become frantic as I pull my legs up to my chest, keeping them spread wide to allow Fred's cock to reach impossibly deeper. "Freddie, I need to cum," I whimper and plead.
"Then cum, little lamb. Give me everything you have, and I will fill you up," Fred moans as his cock twitches inside of me, and his thrusts begin to stagger.
My back arches as my nails tear at the fabric of the pillow above my head. My orgasm crashes into me, setting off stars in my vision as my release washes over me. "Fred!" I cry out in a strangled cry.
Fred moans my name loudly as he thrusts into me one final time, spilling his hot cum inside of me. He rides us both through our highs before he finally withdraws his cock. He leans over me, brushing my hair from my face and tucking it gently behind my ear. "You did so well, little lamb," he praises softly, kissing the edges of my mouth.
I hum with pleasure as a smile dances across my lips. "Just for you, Freddie," I respond softly, kissing his lips.
Fred cleans us both up, tending to me with care as he wipes me down, puts on my panties, and dresses me in one of his shirts before laying back down next to me and pulling me to his chest. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you," he says softly as I cuddle into his arms, my head resting on his shoulder.
I look up at him and smile. "Was it worth the wait?"
Fred smiles and kisses my forehead. "For you? I would wait a thousand years to make you mine."
I giggle softly and kiss him back. "So I take it we're officially together?" I tease playfully.
Fred laughs softly and nods, running his fingers through my hair. "Unless you have other plans," he teases back. "Though I doubt anyone can make you feel the way I just did," he taunts with a wink.
I roll my eyes and snort a laugh. "Someone thinks highly of himself," I quip with a smirk.
"Says the one who called me 'God,'" he quips back.
I smile and snuggle closer, draping a leg over his thighs and pulling myself closer. "Fair enough. But, Freddie?"
"Hmm?" He hums tiredly.
"If you flirt with another girl again, I'll end you both," I warn him.
Fred laughs and shakes his head. "Yes, ma'am."
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pretzel-box · 2 days
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Please read.
This is a general post about a small thing that came up two or three times in the past.
It's not that dramatic but I would like to adress it anyways since it's something that's stressing me out when people mention it.
"You take too long to post."
"You didn't wrote my request."
I admit that the pace I started with has dropped and I took more time to actually come up with stuff, despite my writing schedule.
This now is not a try to justify myself or to nag at the people that request but I like to let you know why I haven't posted that much by sharing a glimpse into my personal life:
1. I am german and dyslexic, I take a lot of time to edit my stories, and I write them carefully. I do not have beta readers or anything else that checks my works for spelling errors, wrong grammar, or logic errors. Most of the time, I write a rough draft in german and translate it by myself into english, adding more key elements. I do not use any translation websites or any other tools to help me with that because it mostly changes how I want the sentences to sound.
2. I actually am a human with a private life.
I had to take a break from school due my mental health and dropped out for the year. Now I work a small side job as waitress. I work overtime to make ends meet. Writing is something like a hobby and I do it mostly on trains, busses or waiting in a parking lot when I come up with a draft. Only in the evenings or nights I find the time to sit on my laptop to form it into an actual 1k minimum story.
On top of that, I had a recent breakup and some stress among the family. I don't try to let my personal life affect the way I am on tumblr. But I have to admit that what I write is deeply connected with how I feel. Sunkissed for example was highly inspired by my past relationship. As Above So Below is a story where I deal with my own anxieties. What I write has a small part of me and it's what makes it so special. And I can't be writing all the time because there are more than enough situations where I can't even bring myself to eat three meals a day or do some chores.
3. My laptop and my Ipad are broken. My laptop is currently in repair, all my personal data including saved drafts, stories, ideas, the layout for AASB and personal pictures are GONE. My laptop will return in roughly 2-3 weeks. All I have left is my phone and let me tell you how gruesome it is to write stories on your phone. Especially when it's not a one day issue.
As stated above all my works have a minimum of 1k words. Most stories even reach inbetween 2-4k words and AASB has a minimum of 5k. Usually I write around 11k words a week minimum without requests counting.
4. Yes, I gave myself so much work. I decided to have so many on going projects myself and I work on it. But right now I just don't have the tools or the time to make everyone satisfied.
Thank you all for reading this. I just had to let this out of my head and I apologise for everyone that is unhappy, disappointed or angry at me. It's not something I can change right now and I can only ask you to have patience.
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onboardsorasora · 1 day
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an idea that's been banging around in my head for a few days now. I hope it reads ok
Daniel is a thief/jewel thief/ I imagine him sorta like cat woman in the sense of they’re all in this heist-y underground spy like universe. And he’s well known for getting into places and stealing what he wants or is hired to steal and getting out.
And there’s a big job happening at some rich person's party
Daniel knows that Lewis and his crew are there, he’s done jobs with them before. And Lewis even offered him to be in the crew if he stays around long enough.
To stay with him.
He never really does. 
So he knows who the mark is and essentially everyone’s plan. He promised Lewis to stay out the way cause he’s come for idk jewelry and that’s nowhere near where everyone else plans to be
He finds his mark and gets him to lead him to the bedrooms and he’s putting on the moves on this guy to get him right where he wanted him and the door opens and Max walks in to see Daniel straddling this guy. Daniel scrambles to sedates him while Max is bewildered and upset (jealous). Because they have history.
Max used Daniel for a previous job, faked interest and a relationship with him to get close to a mark. Daniel didn’t know it was a job and when he met Max, Daniel wasn’t even on a job. It was a whirlwind romance sorta thing and then Daniel realized near the end. Maybe Lewis was giving him information about a job potentially coming up and the mark and details seemed familiar. Like places maybe he and Max went to on dates or something
In the present, they argue in the room. Well Max argues at Daniel’s back while he scoops what he came here for. 
An alarm goes off in the house (not triggered by Daniel) and they have to move quickly. Daniel drags Max out of the room and into *another* bedroom and throws him on the bed 
‘What the fuck are you doing Daniel?’ 
‘Shut up and kiss me’
‘What?’ Daniel straddles him and kisses him just as the door opens and two guys with guns walk in, clearly security. 
Daniel plays the shocked debauched party goer well and they get lead back to the party
So after they’re escorted back to the ballroom where the actual party goers were waiting to be told what the hell is going on, Daniel is hearing over coms about who fucked what and tripped which alarm. Max disappears because he wasn’t here for Daniel. Daniel stays around to make sure the security sees him a little longer before he slips out through the crowd as well and gets the fuck out of there 
He’s happy, job well done. He got what he came for. Only… on the drive back to his safe house he can’t find it. The idk ring he went for. And he knows immediately that Max took it off of him. Why? No clue
Something something he goes to confront Max who doesn’t deny taking it and says he’ll give it back if Daniel went with him on a job
Cue forced proximity in a vacation setting
It’s mostly recon and Daniel’s like you really didn’t drag me all the way out here to sit in a car and stare all day. And he goes shopping and comes back to their hotel saying they’re going out for drinks because he refuses to stay in the car any longer.
They go out, have drinks, dance a little, they’re having fun. Daniel forgets why he’s annoyed at Max in the first place. Then the mark comes in and it’s business and well reality comes swiftly. They get more information than they would have if they stayed in the car 
Anyway the entire time they’re there, they’d been dancing around each other and Daniel comes out and asks Max why he did what he did and Max gives a non answer maybe. Deflects. Daniel says fuck that because he’s tired of whatever Max is playing at. He knows his worth, and he won’t allow Max to make him feel like shit. Again.
He was already burned once by Max’s callousness. He doesn’t even know if Max likes him or is just cruel. He asked Max ‘What do you want from me’ and Max didn’t answer. And Daniel isn’t begging for anyone’s attention. So hurt, he leaves.
Daniel gets kidnapped by the mark.
He tells the mark that ‘well, you made the wrong choice because Max isn’t coming for him.’ The mark tries to torture answers out of Daniel anyway, answers he doesn’t give.
Max comes to save him in, quite literally, the knick of time and takes him to a safe house.
‘I didn’t sign up to die for you. You don’t even give a fuck about me’ Daniel is raging at Max. And Max is fighting himself but ultimately doesn’t say anything. Gives Daniel the ring he’d been holding over him and lets him go because Daniel didn’t sign up to die for him and Max couldn’t even tell him how he felt. 
This whole thing was supposed to be so he could confess and it went terribly wrong.
They go their separate ways, with Max watching out for Daniel and keeping him safe like some shadow knight, if they happen to be on the same job. 
Til one day, Daniel gets tired of it and calls him out. Max grudgingly exposes himself from his defensible position. They’re in another mansion at another party and Daniel is covered in silk and stolen jewels and he looks amazing.
‘Why are you doing this? Is this some sort of fucked up penance?’ 
And Max still doesn’t answer, because how can he? It is a sort of fucked up penance, and he knows Daniel won’t like the answer. Because Max can’t admit why its a fucked up penance. 
Or maybe he can.
Daniel makes a derisive sound and moves to leave the room. He isn’t doing this again.
‘I love you, I’m in love with you.’ Max’s soft confession is loud in the quiet room. Daniel’s unconscious mark makes a noise as if he was coming to and Max shoots him to keep him from interrupting. He can’t deal with another interruption.
‘What??’
‘I love you.’
‘Since when?’ Daniel doesn’t believe him. Obviously.
‘Since Bali.’
Since the first time. When Daniel fell in love with Max, but it all turned out to be a ruse. A con. Daniel makes another disgusted noise and rolls his eyes.
‘When we went on that hike through the jungle, I texted the hotel to decorate our room. To get all the flowers you liked. I was going to tell you that night. I didn’t expect the mark to make his next move so quickly.’
Daniel remembered that night clearly. Going to shower and coming out seeing Max’s small bag was gone. When he got home, Lewis offered a new job and things had clicked into place painfully. 
‘You just left me, and I’m supposed to believe?’
‘Daniel, I’m so sorry.’
‘And then you drag me on that stupid recon job, for what?’
‘I was supposed to confess. That was the plan. And I fucked it.’
‘I dunno if I believe you.’ Daniel says simply.
‘Let me make it up to you, prove it to you. Please.’ Max isn’t above begging. Not anymore.
Daniel regards him for a long moment before an alarm goes off.
‘You can start by getting me out of here. Since you, y’know, killed my cover.’
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prentissluvr · 2 days
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sam would be the best boyfriend when ur on ur period, he’d immediately know what to do, he’d go to the store and buy you what ever pads and/or tampons you need, snacks, everything. there’d definitely be a time where he’d make a little gift basket out of the stuff and it’s just so cute. he fills you a hot water bottle, lets you braid his hair (he claims to not like it but he deffo does), he lays your head like where his bellybutton is and plays with your hair whilst talking to you in a velvety voice and gives you so many cuddles and tells you how beautiful you are if you get bloated or breakout or anything and gives you lots of kisses on your body wherever you’re comfortable with it
-💽
babydoll you sent this at the perfect time!! because i just got my period yesterday lolll so i was totally thinking about this <33
tw mentions of throwing up, passing out, and overall bad period pain rip lol
i like to think about how younger sam had almost no idea about periods. he probably heard things here and there about it whenever he was able to be in school, maybe even learned about it on his own because he's a curious, intelligent, and kind sweet boy!! but he's never very close with an afab person until he meets jess. he's naturally sweet and caring, so he learns quickly with her.
so when he's with you, he's ready and prepared to be the best boyfriend in the world. he learns what you need specifically and what you like best and it ingrains it in his memory!! (crying i know this isn't about samjess but everything is about samjess to me, so i'm thinking about the fact that he still remembers what jess liked the most :((( sobbing . like what if the first time you text him to pick up pads or something, he unconsciously grabs the kind she'd buy before remembering he can just ask what you want. he probably knows your favorite candies by then, so he doesn't think to grab jess's, but he does remember. i just love them a lot SORRY) ANYWAYS !!!
i'm crying at the idea of sam only letting you braid his hair when you're on your period because you'll get upset if he doesn't LOL but that he secretly really likes it and would totally let you do it any other time if you ask him sweetly enough. (he's down bad and will do anything that you want. he caves so easy). and he like. feels like he should be playing with your hair instead, but he knows that playing with his hair calms you so he just sits there in utter contentment like. wow i'm soooo in love with them :,)
AGH laying on his belly makes me so :(((( that's when he gets to play with your hair to relax you <3 wahhh and i'm crying about how assuring he is with you <333 he's so so incredibly sweet and just pours on the compliments when he knows that you need them. so so so many kisses!!!
and on the topic of laying on tummies <3 for some people, pressure makes cramps feel better. and i just imagine sam absolutely melting and wanting to CRY at how in love and endeared he is with you if you ask him to lay his head on your tummy to help with the pain. while he's there, he'll tell stories and gently massage your legs or just lightly rub over your sweet skin <3
speaking of massages i think he's the bEST at giving them!! his hands are so big, which helps massively, and then his touch is so gentle, yet steady and it is just so completely soothing <3 he loves being able to take even a little bit of your pain away. and he hatesss to see you in any pain he's so :((( so he does everything in his power to make it as bearable as he can!!!
ofc everyone has different experiences with their periods, but i know that in the hunting context, i personally would have such a shit ass time with my period because i doubt it'd be too easy to get birth control to tame my horrible cramps. so i think about how concerned sammy is when he realizes just how bad it can get :( headcanon that jess probably got pretty bad period cramps too but i can imagine she had access to birth control or meds to help out, so when he sees you in so so much pain he's so so worried :((
he feels soo so awful seeing you throw up or get faint or even pass out from the pain because he knows he can't fix it. so instead he's just so so caring and soft and perfect about it. especially if it gets this bad for you, he's extra careful to keep track of your period to make sure that you're never going to be doing anything strenuous during that time. if you're in pain while on the road, he gets in the back seat with you to hold you and put his warm hands on your belly until you can stop at the nearest gas station to get you a hot water bottle or something for the pain. he's perfect and i love him so much and i need need need him to take care of me while i'm on my period lol
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softspeirs · 24 hours
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Steer Clear
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A/N: Here we are, kids. This OC came to me out of nowhere. I had no plans to write anything for Ev Blakely, but once I started thinking about it, I couldn't stop. Meet Marie.
It was an innocuous request, in his mind. Hey, Fernandez. Run these messages to the Colonel on your way?
She had frozen in place, halfway down the tower steps at his words, and he recognized the look on her face. He's seen it a thousand times since he met her over a year ago.
"I'm pressed for time, Captain." She says. "I have to run these figures to the plotters--"
"You're on your way there anyway." He insists. He holds out a stack of messages. Weather reports, updated communications from nearby bases, messages about incoming ferries happening later that day.
She turns her back on him.
Heads right down the stairs like he hadn't even spoken, and leaves him standing there.
"For fuck's sake," he whispers to himself, and then he's taking off, hot on her heels.
She's like a wraith the way he catches only glimpses of her disappearing around corners, until finally she's in Ops, handing a message to Red at the maps before turning to pass on other messages, her steps quick and efficient.
The room is relatively quiet and he's sure he's not imagining the way people take one look at the two of them and pretty much clear out. They don't want to be stuck inside with them when the arguing inevitably starts.
He sighs. "Fernandez-- can you just wait a minute?"
"Not really, no."
The thing about an impending promotion is that he's starting to understand why Jack hates being Air Exec. He hates being stuck inside, or in the tower, or elsewhere on the base while others are doing the flying. He understands his role. He'll do it and he'll do a damned good job of it, but that doesn't mean he likes it.
Especially because it means he's in close contact with the Ops staff, who are all, except for Marie Fernandez, willing to work with him.
"Do we have a problem?" He blurts, because he already knows they do. The first day he met her she looked at him with.... nothing. She wasn't rude or anything, but he felt like he could have been any other suit standing in front of her, and it hit him in the gut like he didn't expect. "I'm not giving you orders, I just asked if you'd do me a favor." He's aware his tone is hardening. He's trying not to let it happen, but she's just staring at him in that way she does.
"I don't work for you," she points out, tone perfectly neutral, but something about it just grates. He opens his mouth to respond, but she beats him to it. "I work for the Colonel, and he's the one who gives me orders."
His hands go to his hips and he looks down at the ground, clenching his jaw as he fights his temper. "We're working together, Fernandez. All of us." He leans in, "Unless you forgot."
Her eyes narrow. "Because I couldn't possibly feel the same patriotism that you do, could I?" She pretends to think, finger tapping he chin. "I forgot that the only way to fight from the air is in the seat. Us pencil pushers don't count." Her eyes are blazing, a few tendrils of her dark hair escaping from their pins after hours and hours of work.
"You weren't supposed to hear that." He mutters. Not a good excuse, but he can't help but bite back at her. She gets under his skin - he needs to have the last word. It's a matter of pride, is what he tells himself.
"Then don't gossip where everyone can hear you, Captain." She raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "Now. Is there something I can help you with? Because if not, then we're busy."
He takes a deep breath, tries to lower his voice. "I'm just asking if you would be willing to take messages when you're on your way anyway--"
"-- And I told you I don't have time. I know you think I don't do anything but sit around and twirl my hair all day--"
"That's not what I think."
"Can I--" Harry Crosby's head appears around the doorframe of his office.
"Not now, Croz--"
"Shut up Harry--"
They both snap at him in unison, and he holds his hands up in surrender and backs into his office. He's been the third wheel of too many arguments between Fernandez and Blakely over the last few months, and he has no desire to get in the middle of another one, even though he's desperate for a few minutes of quiet.
The sudden quiet between them is tense and for a moment -- he doesn't even think she's aware she does it - the wall around Marie Fernandez comes down. Her face is open, vulnerable. She looks exhausted, just like the rest of them.
She takes a deep breath, settles her shoulders, and squares to face him again, and he's suddenly breathless. She is unbearably lovely. Especially when she's yelling at him. And his heart is pounding, and she's saying something but he can't hear her and--
"Well?" She snaps.
"I-- what?"
"I said, the next time you need something from Ops, send one of the other girls. There's no need for us to keep disturbing everyone else." Her voice is quieter than it was a few minutes ago and he hates it. The fight's gone out of her eyes too, and for a crazed half-second, he wants to reach for her.
To do what, he has no idea, but suddenly he feels out of control, like he has no idea how to speak or move or--
She brushes past him. The door slams behind her as she goes back to her office, just outside the Colonel's.
He pinches the bridge of his nose as the quiet of the room settles over him. He knows this has to get sorted. They can't keep fighting like this, not with the invasion so close on the horizon, not when the communication between Ops and the tower is so important.
They need to trust each other, and he needs to keep his big mouth shut and stop taking his frustrations out on her.
He knows all this, but there's a part of him that's itching for a fight, and she's always willing to give it. Perhaps it's the masochistic part of him that came back from Bremen, knowing everything had gone to shit and convinced that it always would.
Harry comes out of his office again, hands in his pockets.
"Don't say it--"
"You can't keep doing that." He says, serious.
"She started it--"
"She's just doing her job, doing what she's supposed to do."
"I asked for a favor! That's all! Goddamn, you'd think I'm asking for her to get in the goddamn seat and drop a bomb on Hitler's house."
Crosby frowns. "Look, I just-- you let her get to you, and I don't know why, but you're driving everyone crazy. We're all tired but this is too important."
He opens his mouth to argue that Harry Crosby of all people shouldn't be lecturing him about being tired, but he bites his tongue. The door behind him opens again, and he looks over his shoulder, expecting her to storm back in and demand he apologize to her, but it's Douglass.
"Fightin' with Marie again?" He asks, casually, leaning against the wall as he bites down on an apple.
"Jesus Christ." Ev mutters.
"I'm just asking because the two of you really know how to clear a room."
"I'm going to go now. Don't you two have anything better to do?"
"Besides bother you? Not really."
"Thanks, Dougie."
Douglass follows him out the door, calling after him, "Just let us know when you're finally going to do something about it so we can steer clear, alright?"
Blakely flips him the finger over his shoulder and walks back to the tower, his gut roiling for reasons he doesn't want to examine. No, he'll steer clear of her from now on. It's best for everyone.
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cliophilyra · 20 hours
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when you're tastin' what he's drinkin' (are you thinkin' 'bout me?)
I went and did a jealous Sal past-saltommy thing. I hope you like it! Thank you to everyone on discord for being awesome 🫶
He’s not really looking at the crowd when he turns away from the bar. He’s got drinks in both hands, raising them over his head because the place is elbow to elbow right now and he’s just focused on getting back to the booth without spilling the beer that took him twenty minutes to get. It’s Friday night, which doesn’t always mean as much in a badge and ladder bar where not everyone gets their weekends at the weekend, but tonight it definitely seems to mean something.
His team are at their usual table. He’ll get the first round like he always does, hang out for an acceptable amount of time then bail so they can complain about the boss if they want to. Sometimes he kind of misses just being one of the team, one of the ones getting to do the complaining, which is ironic after he spent so long chasing this job.
He’s not even the one who notices first. “Sal!” The voice is right by his ear and his head snaps around so fast he’s amazed he doesn’t pull something. Tommy is next to him, holding two beers in his hand as he steps away from the bar. Sal’s eyes widen as he takes him in as best he can in the crush. He looks so good; dark jeans, grey henley with the buttons undone, tight sleeves pushed up, hugging his biceps and forearms. His curls are freer than usual, a little more grey flecked in with the soft brown now. The laugh lines around his eyes are deeper. Something in Sal’s stomach twists just looking at him. His fingers twitch against the cold glass, wanting to reach out.
“Fancy meetin’ you here,” he says, aiming for lightness. “Don’t see Harbour in here much.”
“Not with them tonight,” Tommy jerks his thumb back towards a table on the other side of the bar. “I’m with the guys from the 118 would you believe.”
Sal raises his eyebrows. “Oh?” He did not expect that. “Havin’ a reunion? My invite get lost in the mail?” He means it as a joke but he hears the note of bitterness he didn’t mean to show.
(Read more below or on AO3)
Tommy’s gaze slides away from his for a split second, darting over to the table. Sal follows his look and sees Hen and Howie and the new guys he knows only by reputation, laughing amongst themselves.
“Nope, not a reunion. Well not an official one anyway,” Tommy says with a shrug. He looks back at him and Sal catches his glance dart down to his hand and the ring he’s not wearing. “You look good,” Tommy says after a moment and Sal almost laughs out loud. “How’s the 122? Heard you made Captain? Congrats man.”
Sal nods and clears his throat. “Yeah thanks, ‘bout fucking time.” He grins and takes a mouthful of one of the beers in his hands because words are crowding up against his lips and he can’t say any of them. His hand only shakes a bit.
Tommy grins. “It’s good to see you Sal,” he says, a bit softer. He reaches out and claps a hand on his shoulder. The warmth bleeding through his t-shirt takes Sal by surprise. He looks down at Tommy’s big hand on his arm and his throat is suddenly parched despite the beer. For a moment everything in his world zeroes down to that touch and the memory of the last time he felt those rough fingers on his shoulder and sliding up his neck. How he hadn’t known then that it was the last time.
Tommy’s fingers twitch and jump away, as if Sal’s arm is scalding, which is ironic because to him it feels like ice the moment Tommy’s hand leaves his shoulder.
“Yeah you too,” Sal says roughly.
Tommy nods. “You…uh…you guys have a good night,” he says.
Sal nods back and presses his lips into a tight smile, doesn’t trust himself to say anything more.
Tommy smiles back and walks away to the table across the bar. Sal stands frozen in place and watches him go until the crowd swallows him up.
Sal walks back to the table where the rest of the 122 are chatting, telling the same old war stories. He smiles distantly, hands people their drinks, sits down at the edge of the booth and lets the idle chatter wash over him, chasing beer with whiskey and more whiskey and drifting until he’s somewhere he hasn’t been in a long time and all the memories are right there waiting, just under the surface. He’s on his knees in the showers with water running down his face and the salty warmth of Tommy’s cock on his tongue; moaning into Tommy’s mouth in the locker room as he fucks into that huge hand; in a soft bed, leaning over that solid muscular body, his hands gripping thick thighs as he buries his cock inside him and leans forward to bury his tongue in his mouth, moaning against his lips. He can almost feel Tommy’s hands running up his back, digging into his muscles as he pants against his sweat-soaked skin; wrapped around him, holding him against his chest in the warm morning sunlight that spills over his bed. He closes his eyes for a second against the ache in his chest and when he opens them the crowd has miraculously parted like he’s the Moses of drunken firefighters, giving him a clear view right to the table where the 118 sit, and to Tommy with his head thrown back mid-laugh, nose wrinkling in the way that makes Sal smile despite himself.
Sal half rises from his seat, body drawn forward before his brain is even consulted. Tommy has started to get up too, lowering his head as he does so to speak to the man next to him. The other man puts his beer down and looks up. Sal recognises Evan Buckley - who according to the grapevine is second only to Chim in the disaster-prone stakes - just as the kid gives Tommy a blinding smile that lights up his whole face, and then kisses him. On the lips. In public. In a fucking crappy badge and ladder bar on a packed Friday night.
Sal’s whole world grinds to a halt.
Tommy is kissing him back and the rest of the table are hooting at them and Howie is throwing peanuts, but there’s no malice behind their faux-grimaces and teasing eye-rolls. It’s no different to how it would have been back in the day if he’d kissed a woman at the bar. Tommy grins as he pulls back from Buckley’s lips and shakes his head with a laugh as he walks off towards the mens room. Sal mutters something about hitting the head and follows Tommy without even thinking about what he plans to do, driven by fury and a pain like a fire burning a hole through his chest.
He finds him in the corridor that leads to the mens room, leaning against the wall as he waits for the always busy bathroom. The fire door stands open next to him, letting in the warm night air that smells of Jacaranda blossoms and trash cans. Sal walks up to him, grabs his wrist, drags him out into the parking lot and shoves him against a wall.
Tommy stumbles, yelping in surprise. “What the fuck?” He exclaims, yanking his hand back.
Sal grabs his t-shirt instead and crowds against him, until their lips are millimetres apart. He can smell the bitter hoppy scent of the beer on Tommy’s lips. Tommy’s eyes widen. “Do you remember?” Sal asks. “You remember, baby? When you’re stickin’ your tongue down his throat? D’ you taste me?”
“Fuck Sal you’re drunk,” Tommy hisses.
“How ‘bout when you suck him off?” Sal bites out, furious and bitter. The emotions crawling up his spine, down his fingers, tangling around his tongue are nothing he’s ever felt on a conscious level before. Hate and rage and scouring pain. “He taste as good as me? You love his cock as much as you loved mine?” He whispers harshly, “Remember how you used to beg for it? Beg me to make you choke on it?” Tommy’s breath is coming in short pants against his face. “Has he fucked you on that asshole Nash’s desk? Does he make you scream his fuckin’ name Tommy? Make you cum all over yourself? All over him? Does he let you cum on that pretty face? Fill up that pouty little mouth?”
Tommy lets out a groan, eyes flickering closed for a moment, then his hands are on Sal’s arms and he’s shoving him away. Sal stumbles back, head spinning. They stare at each other in silence for a moment, still panting for breath.
“What the fuck are you doing Sal?” Tommy asks after a second. His voice sounds hoarse and Sal is bitterly pleased as he watches Tommy struggle to regain his control. ‘What the fuck was that about?” Tommy’s expression is somewhere between fury and pity and it’s that last one that hurts.
Sal shudders. He doesn’t know what that was about. Doesn’t know what he’s doing. He just wants…he wants but he’s afraid so instead he just hurts and he wants Tommy to hurt too. Wants to know it was…something.
“Fuck!” Sal swears, spinning on his heel, kicking at the gravel under his feet. He knows he fucked up. Again. Another one in a long line of fuck ups. His head is still spinning and he stumbles slightly as he turns again.
“Does he hold you when you’ve had a shit day?” he asks quietly. “Does he make you laugh when you’re bein’ a moody asshole?” He stops, his throat suddenly burns and his chest isn’t working quite right. He swallows around the lump in his throat. “I hope he does.”
Tommy’s face softens and Sal can’t meet his eyes. Tommy pushes away from the wall and walks up to him, runs a thumb over his cheekbone then leans in and wraps his arms around him. Sal chokes against his shoulder and hugs him back, fisting his hands in the back of his shirt.
“Fuck I miss you so much baby,” he says, barely audible.
Tommy sighs and rubs his hand over the back of his head, smoothing his hair. Sal closes his eyes and lets himself feel five years of regret and anger and self-loathing boil over and run down his face. All the blame he has heaped on himself. Telling himself if only. If only. If only he was brave. Not just reckless, daring, heroic - brave where it matters.
“I’m sorry Sal, I’m so sorry sweetheart,” Tommy murmurs and something cracks in Sal’s chest. Some light radiating at the edges. He swallows hard.
“Wasn’t your fault baby,” he says, and he takes a deep breath because he knows that’s true and so is this. “Wasn’t my fault either.”
Tommy nods and squeezes him harder against his chest. “It was never your fault. I just wasn’t…we weren’t there yet.”
“You there now though?”
Tommy laughs, a huff of air against Sal’s shoulder. “I’m think I’m getting there.”
“Good. Got any directions for me?”
Tommy laughs.
Sal smiles and thinks maybe he can see light up ahead.
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glitchychara · 2 days
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Amnesia
Tyler One Shot, 3,384 words
I really hate puzzles. It's weird, because I'm more of a problem solving girl, but puzzles just piss me off for some reason. I hate TVs too. I don't know what it is about them, but they just bug me. Mario's always watching some stupid thing on the TV, which kinda makes me wanna smash it to pieces with a hammer. Again, it makes no sense to me since I don't mind playing video games with them, even when I keep losing to everyone because I've never played before. It's just the TV in general, I guess. Although I recently learned my biggest trigger is TV static. I don't know why, but I get weird flashbacks everytime I hear it. Even though it was only once since I've been here. I started seeing images and they filled up my head and I didn't know what was going on and then someone reached out and I couldn't see who it was so I swung but it turned out to be Meggy so she blocked me and she asked me if I was okay and then-
And then I got up. And I left. And I came back a few hours later. And they never brought it up. Nor have I heard any TV static since. 
But anyways, Meggy and Smg4 took me to the doctor yesterday, which I don't know why a centaur would wanna be in the medical field, nor did I trust the guy, but at least he was gonna tell me exactly what was wrong with me….until he gave me my doctors note and it was literally a scribble. Like, excuse me sir, what the HELL is this supposed to be? Chicken scratch?? Anyways I gave it to the axolotl looking guy who was working at the pharmacy and somehow HE KNEW WHAT IT SAID?? I swear I'll NEVER understand doctors. Anyways, he gave me this bottle of pills and sent me on my merry way. Guess who STILL doesn't know what's wrong with her? Me :). So I figured I'd Google what the pills were for and guess what? Apparently I have something called “Amnesia” which, according to Google, means “permanent or temporary memory loss.” 
Huh??
add “doctors” and “pharmacists” to the list of things I hate.
I talked to Three recently, and he asked me if I was going to get my own house. I told him I didn't plan too. “Why not?” he asked, stacking cups next to the coffee machine. I shrugged and continued my task-cleaning out the new pastry display. “Smg4 lets me live in his guest room for free. Why would I wanna pay for a house?” He laughed and asked if I wanted to live with him forever. “Well, not forever, obviously. Just until I go home.” I replied, now adding pastries to the display case. “Tyler. About that…” I turned and looked at him, confused. It was the first time I've ever seen him look sad. “Tyler, you don't even know where you're from. How do you plan on getting home if you can't remember how you got here? Might as well get used to living in the Mushroom Kingdom, you know.” I rolled my eyes and ignored him. What would he know? I'm completely fine living in the castle. It's not like Smg4 does much anyways, other than making videos. Which he should make better, by the way. I mean, he lacks creativity, and a story in general. The whole point of making something is to entertain your audience. How is he going to do that if he's so focused on his “it doesn't have to be perfect” bs? I swear, some people don't deserve their fame, or money, or power or reviews or stars. 
5. stars.
What am I saying? I don't know anything about true art. I've never even made anything myself. Maybe those doctors were right.
Damn Amnesia…
(tagging @its-a-me-mango and @psychologistlemon bc I thought you guys being the doctor/pharmacist was funny)
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dippedinmelancholy · 3 days
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It might be because I'm relatively "new" to the Dragon Age fandom (the last few years) but it feels like people are actually losing their minds over the choices and world state revealed about Dragon Age Veilguard. Hear me out. Does it kind of suck? Sure. Carving out your own "canon" is cool. But if you craft a story around each choice someone could have made, you have to change your development and story planning for each of those possible choices. It's been 10 years since Tresspassor was released.
It's been 15 years since Origins was released. Real years, not in game years. Only Inquisition had the more "open world", widely stretching plot, and even that was barely held together by strings, hopes, and dreams. None of the games have thus far reached into Northern Thedas beyond having characters come from there. This could very well feel like a whole new world for Rook. Without the super nostalgic feeling, why would 99% of what happened in southern Thedas matter at all at this point, for this game? Who in northern Thedas would even know about it? These people? Sure, Morrigan can have a son (she did in my default world state for Inquisition anyways), but at this point he's fully grown? Why would she ever talk about him to Rook, to reveal that about herself? As far as I could tell, the Inquisitor only meets him because his mother is working at Skyhold and he's a child that needs to be cared for. The Well of Sorrows kind of blows, but again, 10 years later and they're finally able to give us a game. Not only are they giving us a game, they're clearly making some space for the unresolved issues between the Inquisitor and Solas (regardless of romance), all the while needing to get new people involved in the game for it to be truly successful. The choice with the Grey Wardens could have been cool, but again, it was in southern Thedas. I have a hard time believing every single Grey Warden was either doomed or saved by the Inquisitor.
I just think maybe people are taking it a bit too harshly, some of the comments make me think people really need a breath of fresh air and maybe to touch some grass. Do I want everyone to have fun in every single Dragon Age game? To feel all of the emotions and pride for what happens in those games? To love and cry for their OCs???? Of course I do. But based off of the fact that Leliana could have died????? But no matter what she's a face in Inquisition???? That tells me Dragon Age DOES have a default world setting with some things being set in stone regardless of what choices you make. But I also think it's a little unfair to call a game a failure, cruel, uncaring for their canons just because it doesn't have 10-15 in game and out of game years of choices perfectly represented. This is Rook's story, and honestly, nothing that happened in southern Thedas matters to their story. To any Rook, the Inquisitor is probably this legend like figure who may or may not have been touched by god(s). Or seduced a god. Who knows.
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changingplumbob · 3 days
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Foster Household: Chapter 9, Part 10
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Darwin: Are we going to game or what
Carson: Just let me send this selfie first
William grabs the seat by Onyx while Carson and Darwin get the spots in front of the screen.
Darwin: I can’t believe we have to have more classes with Mrs H
William: She is the senior teacher
Onyx: And the senior grump
Carson: I’m always worried she’ll give me detention again
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William: I thought you were getting help for the OCD
Onyx: Don’t need to have OCD to be worried about her, I’m worried about her. Darwin you’ve got to try curb your antics when she’s teaching us
Darwin: Now where would be the fun in that
Carson: How about not getting your friends sentenced with detention by association
Darwin: Fair point. Oh come on, who threw that banana?
Onyx bursts in to laughter and Darwin throws a cushion at them.
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William: Good game folks. See you all at school tomorrow
Onyx: Yeah I better see if my parents are ready to go
Carson: Any headway with Anya lately
Darwin: *sighs* I wish, she’s left me on read for two days now. How about your girl
Carson: *laughs* She’s not my girl
Darwin: She’s pretty, maybe she should be you know? It doesn’t matter that she’s younger if you like her, that's what I tell myself about Anya
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Harvey: I think that dinner was a success
Kayleigh: So do I! Oh Reece called while you were doing the dishes and he and Samir are fine to come stay. Plus I let him know Carson and Charlie know about the werewolf business
Harvey: Did Carson faint with shock
Kayleigh: *laughs* No so I guess we were wrong about that
Harvey: We’ll have to keep an eye on him during the visit. Make sure he doesn’t get stressed about a werewolf being under the same roof
Kayleigh: Will you be stressed
Harvey: Not if he gives me grandbabies
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After his normal morning routine Carson was delighted to see a text from Ariadne pop up on his phone.
Ariadne: Great news! They’ve opened the rink at school
Carson: How is that great news
Ariadne: Because I’ve been dying to go ice skating so bring your skates
Carson: They weigh a lot
Ariadne: Never let a little weight put you off! I like things with a little weight to them
Carson: Okay, okay, I concede
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At school the news of the rink opening had gotten around and several kids had brought their skates. Carson found Ariadne at the edge of the rink looking at them with awe.
Carson: Have you ever actually skated before?
Ariadne: Carson, you're here! When I was little my grandmother took me a few times but... it has been a while
Carson: Maybe it’ll be like riding a bike and you’ll remember
Ariadne: I hope so. I'd rather not fall on my butt in front of everyone
Carson: So... got a sparkly costume hiding under the coat
Ariadne: *giggling* Do you
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Carson: Drat. You told me to bring skates, not my leotard, it's back home
Ariadne: Always good to leave something for next time
Carson: *laughs* I mean you’d look much nicer in a sparkly outfit than I would
Ariadne: I think you look nice anyway
Carson: Oh, really?
Ariadne: We ah- we better get on the ice or we’ll be talking until class starts
Carson: Ladies first
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Ariadne was first on the ice out of the pair with Carson close behind. He may be asthmatic but he didn’t mind something slow like ice skating. He did his best to keep up with Ariadne but he did slip over once or twice. Luckily he was behind her so felt pretty confident that she’d missed it. As the bell rang and he headed off the rink to class he missed her also wiping out.
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In art class Carson was glad to see Mrs T back. She was always much calmer and knew a bunch about art. As she gave a rather detailed analysis of perspective in art he felt his skill grow.
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Down the hall in social studies it was a different story.
Artemisia: *whispers* Hey Roger, yo mamas so lazy she has a stay at home job and is still late to work
Roger: Shut up Emi, you know she’s a social worker. I’m not getting suspended again because you can’t control yourself
Artemisia: Only my friends get to call me Emi. Hey Roger, yo mamas so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper
Roger: Don’t think being a girl will stop me from punching you
Artemisia: Go ahead. My Pa will sue you until yo mama is so poor the ducks throw bread at her, oh wait, she already is
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d1sc01nf3rn0 · 6 months
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I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.
#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”?#how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times?#also like#being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues#if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices#“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already#like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios#and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people”#yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent#by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else#like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much?#some of yall never experienced beinf a “weird kid” at a young age and it shows#and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way#im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me”#WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY#AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS#anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist#you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up?#congratulations thats how most people see us#now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much#dunmeshi hell thoughts#weird rant i suppose#dungeon meshi#laios touden
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dykedvonte · 3 months
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I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.
Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.
#like i genuinely think he would like not fall into the military if he was in modern times because of all the other things he could do#he clearly has a passion for tech and mods and likely would find himself more useful as like a mechanic like at most hes one of those range#types or something but I feel like people equate his seriousness and him being a military man to closemindedness when its like having to ge#a new view point like we really dont know what he believed in before the BoS if he believed in anything at all outside of selling scrap to#survive before basically having an army recruiter have him join one of the scariest factions like why is the BoS so fucking violent???#like the BoS operates in such a way cause there is no civilian population like everyone is something or training to be so they arent really#fighting for anything but themselves at this point which is just a feedback loop of gaining more power and is not equatable to real#military people due to the fact most of the recruits are really born and bred to be soliders while say irl you have a family and country to#fight for and return to outside the military which is def grounding as Danse wouldn't be in the army 24/7 like in canon#idk its odd to me when a character that is has fantastic racism ergo the trope of bigotry to fake races people try to translate it to real#life especially when those races have not equivalent like tell me what is the irl equal to a fucking ghoul or super mutant like????#racism is not like a funny headcanon like making him a defrosting prude or by the book is whatever but he would not be a bigot just like a#narc or some shit hed tell on me for loitering but I know hed tear apart each voting party and likely the military for being self serving#and like knows all about it and it makes him sound like a politics nut but its more annoyance like I have such strong feelings about#characters who would be marginially better if they were not victums to the military like yes I believe we can fix Danse he just needs to#be around not war/the military for like a week and see people be happy existing like he doesnt know how to do that but this is a weird take#ive seen mostly from white fans that makes me super uncomfy like ur weird#anyway still fuck the brotherhood everyone is so rude like damn i know its the east coast but can we get a little hospitality fuck you#maccready was right brotherhood of squeal more like it dont worry porky we'll get you out (danse is porky btw)#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse
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