#i know barrel’s mask can be a little creepy

[dreamdepot]

Running in Place (Link x Male Reader)

[One Shot] Life on a farm far from any sages, demon kings, or creepy masks is pretty peaceful, so when a new face drops by it can be quite the exciting change. But… why does he look so familiar then?

AO3 Wattpad or below!

A/N: “We’ll be taking a break from Hyrule for a while,” he said, like a liar.

I couldn’t help it. This is what happens when you watch a bunch of GDQ runs of Ocarina of Time and then Groundhog Day passes. This is a bit more experimental, but I hope you enjoy it.

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The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched. It was the crack of dawn, the perfect time to get started on the day’s work.

Daybreak Farm was a small but respectable plot of land that you took care of all by yourself in the forested hinterlands. There were few towns out on the frontier, and you were miles away from any major cities, content to live off the land with an honest day’s work.

The day began as any other. After washing up, you tended to your horse, cow, goats, and cuccos. Together your loving livestock provided you with more than enough milk and eggs for yourself. Next, you tended to your small grove of apple trees. The crop was coming in nicely and you’d have a few baskets ready for market day tomorrow. Next, you checked on your real moneymaker, the hops, which the local town brewery paid top dollar for. Then, you checked the potatoes, knowing some of your friends nearby would happily trade some for their wheat. Finally, you tended to your own small herb and vegetable garden which you grew for a little variety and to keep you out of simple subsistence living. Usually, that would leave you complete with the day’s work by noon, with plenty of time for hunting or fishing.

As you wrapped up your chores and grabbed your fishing rod, a visitor caught you by surprise. You nearly screamed, not expecting someone to be standing so close behind you. Nearly leaning into you was a tall man with long ears wearing a… well, it was a green tunic that looked a bit out of place these days, but damn did he rock it. He looked at you with hooded eyes, a small grin, seemingly knowing a bit too much. His voice sent a shiver down your spine. “Hey.”

“H-hi!” You took a hesitant step back (despite not wanting to) and bumped against the wall.

“Aww don’t be shy, not after we had such a nice talk yesterday.”

“Yesterday?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t remember. Are you just playing hard to get?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met before. I tend to remember handsome strangers.”

He leaned one arm against a barrel. “Handsome huh? I bet-aaaHHH!” The barrel, empty, tipped over under his weight, sending him crashing into a pile of hay.

You held back your laugh. “Are you okay, handsome?”

The stranger snorted, flipping his hat back up out of his face. Pieces of hay stuck out of his hair, but the color was so close it almost looked like a bad hair day. “So much for my suave entrance.”

You leaned down, brushing some hay off of him and helping him back to his feet. “To be honest, probably not the best way to introduce yourself to someone you’ve just met.”

He dusted himself off, studying you with his sapphire eyes. “You… really don’t remember me?”

“’fraid not, stranger.”

“Deku nuts…” He muttered. His voice relaxed, revealing a little twang of an accent you couldn’t quite place. “I’m sorry, I must’ve sounded like a total asshole.” The soft apologetic grin on his face was far more endearing than the sultry look just before. “My name’s Link. I should make it up to you. Maybe I can help with the chores?”

You shook his hand. “Nice to meet you Link, I’m [Y/n]. And no worries on chores, all done for the day, but I wouldn’t mind some company fishing.”

Your visitor’s eyes lit up as you handed him a colorful rod. You led Link down to the brook on the edge of your homestead. You didn’t get anything terrible fancy, mostly trout and the occasional salmon, but it was just enough for you – and maybe another. You cast your line, taking a seat on your favorite rock, dipping your toes in the water. Link settled on the bank next to you, crossing his legs.

“I really am sorry,” Link said after a while, shifting, yet his eyes never left the bobber. “Can’t tell you how embarrassing that is.”

“No trouble, though I hope you don’t come on that strong to all your dates.”

Link laughed, pure and almost musical. It felt much more natural than his façade earlier. “No, actually. Normally I’m the one getting pursued.” He hastily added, “Sorry, that sounded like bragging, huh?”

You shook your head, watching your line tense for a brief moment before the fish decided it had better things to do. “Nah. And I’ve never had anyone come onto me like that… or well, anyone even really interested in me. It’s quiet out here in the frontier, y’know? You don’t run into many people, and not a whole lot who fancy guys on top of that.”

Something flickered across Link’s face, but it was gone in a split second. “Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely.”

“That’s the truth…” The conversation then turned to farms and crops as you explained your life to your new friend. Talk flowed as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and soon the sun dipped low, just peeking over the trees. Finally, when you realized Link now knew practically every detail of your life, you took control of the conversation back.

“So, tell me Link,” you said, appraising his clothing again, “what is it you do? You’re dressed too well for a farmer and you’re too fit for one of the hoity-toity types that come visiting up here. What’s your story?”

Link’s smile remained, but something seemed to disappear from his face; you just couldn’t put your finger on it. “Ah, nothing exciting really. I’m just a traveler.”

“Awfully well armed for just a traveler.”

“Just a traveler,” he said, with a firm smile.

You wanted to point out how unfair that was, when suddenly your bobber sunk. You pounced on your line, reeling as hard as you could until a fat trout flopped out of the water. “Well… hope you plan on sticking around to help me eat this guy.”

Link shrugged. “Sorry, not today, I need to take care of something before nightfall.”

“Yikes, you better hurry. It’s a new moon tonight; it’ll be pitch black out.”

“New…” Link’s voice trailed off. “What day is it today?”

“Thursday.”

Link frowned, counting something. “That’s not right. Today should be Friday.”

You sighed. “Thank goodness it isn’t. Friday is market day, and I have way too much to do before I run all of this produce up to town.”

“You make the trip all by yourself? Isn’t that dangerous?”

You stood and stretched. “It’s not too bad. Occasionally run into an Octorok or something, but they’re easy enough to ignore. Worst case, I lose an apple basket or two.”

“You should have someone else there to help you. It’s too dangerous. Who knows what other monsters might be living out here?”

“Why? You volunteering to be my bodyguard?”

“I… you know what? Yeah, I’ll keep an eye on you.”

“Well then, you better get a good night’s sleep, Link,” You said, tossing the rods and the trout over your shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Link seemed deep in thought but gave you a smile. “Definitely.”

You and Link parted ways just outside your farm gate. After closing up the barn, you headed inside to make a simple baked fish for dinner. Before you knew it, you were feeling sleepy. As you crawled into your bed, the wind whistled through the nearby caves, playing a natural lullaby for you as you drifted to sleep, looking forward to seeing the handsome stranger again.

==============================

The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched. It was the crack of dawn, the perfect time to get started on the day’s work.

Daybreak Farm was a small but respectable plot of land that you took care of all by yourself in the forested hinterlands. There were few towns out on the frontier, and you were miles away from any major cities, content to live off the land with an honest day’s work.

The day began as any other. After washing up, you tended to your horse, cow, goats, and cuccos. Together your loving livestock provided you with more than enough milk and eggs for yourself. Next, you tended to your small grove of apple trees. The crop was coming in nicely and you’d have a few baskets ready for market day. Next, you checked on your real moneymaker, the hops, which the local town brewery paid top dollar for. Then, you checked the potatoes, knowing some of your friends nearby would happily trade some for their wheat. Finally, you tended to your own small herb and vegetable garden which you grew for a little variety and to keep you out of simple subsistence living. Usually, that would leave you complete with the day’s work by noon, with plenty of time for hunting or fishing.

In fact, today was so like every other day, you were having the strangest sense of déjà vu.

It was while you tended your vegetable garden that you heard the crunch of boots on the gravel leading up to your homestead. You instinctively grabbed the nearest tool – unfortunately a mere spade. You never were the best at sparring but you weren’t going to let anyone jump you without a fight.

Instead, you found a handsome man walking up the path with hair as gold as wheat. To be honest, he looked like the type to walk straight out of the – ahem – “reading material” hidden under your bed. He gave you a friendly smile. “Hey, you better hurry if you’re headed into the market today. Looks like the wind is gonna pick up soon.”

“Uh, no. That’s tomorrow, but thanks… who are you?”

“…Link,” he said, head cocked. “Hey, I’ve been traveling for a while, what day is today?”

“Thursday, usually head in for Friday market days in the next town.”

“I see,” Link said, a lopsided smile growing on his face. “In that case, how about I help you get ready? I’m just passing through and figure you could use a hand.”

“Sure, thanks,” you said. Your luck was unbelievable, but you weren’t about to turn away an extra hand. You showed Link the best way to tell if the fruit was ripe and the two of you got to work, easily finishing the apple harvest hours faster than if you were picking them all yourself. “Well, thanks for your help, Link. I don’t think I can offer much, but maybe you’d join me for some fishing? I’ve got this nice spot just on the edge of the farm.”

Link brightened. “I love fishing, used to go to this one place all the time.”

“Ah, so I’m dealing with a pro, huh?”

“You could say that.”

Link walked beside you to your favorite fishing spot, though you were surprised when he took a seat on the bank right next to your favorite rock. “I heard there’s some really good trout here.”

You shrugged. “That might be overselling it, but we’ll see.”

Five minutes later, your jaw dropped as a fat trout flopped on Link’s line. “I guess you really are a pro.”

Link simply grinned. “I’ve got some practice.”

Soon, the two of you were walking back to the house, several trout in tow. “So, market day, you head into town right? Not like… Castle Town though?”

You laughed, “I wish! No, I’m not important enough to make the trip that far, I don’t even go to Kakariko. I’ll leave that to the folks at Lon Lon Ranch. No, market day for us is just a small place called Suthorn Village on the Hylian border.”

“Suthorn huh? I can do Suthorn.” You raised an eyebrow, but Link turned to you with a grin. “I’ll help you out and be your bodyguard.”

“Pfft, I don’t need a bodyguard.”

Link crossed his arms. “Trust me. I’ve traveled all over the world, and the last thing you want to do is tempt fate. You might know these mountain roads better than me, but I know the monsters that live here.” You opened your mouth to protest, but he raised a hand. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let you go alone, only to get attacked by a Wolfos. I know you probably only see Octoroks and maybe the odd Chu Chu, but this time of year is Wolfos mating season. They get awfully territorial.”

You tried to form words, but no argument would work. Not to mention that golden sword strapped to his back looked awfully sharp. “Fine, I guess I could use a helper. Afraid I don’t have much to offer in terms of pay…” Living on the outskirts of civilization didn’t really lead to a fortune.

“I don’t need pay, just some food and someone to keep me company.” He winked.

“Can’t argue with a deal like that… tell you what. I’ll fry up some trout tomorrow for our trip.”

“Sounds like a plan.” The two of you kept walking a bit farther. “So, uh, you really are out here all by yourself, huh?”

“Yeah, you are too, aren’t you?” you said. He seemed surprised. “It’s in your eyes. You look like you haven’t had someone to talk to for a little while. What brings a guy like you out here anyway? Not a whole lot of exciting things in my corner of the world. Most folks head out towards Hyrule instead.”

He let out a short laugh. “I’m that easy to read, huh? Well, you’re mostly right, though I don’t see much reason to head into Hyrule myself. I’m actually out here looking for a friend. We got separated some time ago, I was hoping to find them again.” To say that was like finding a needle in a haystack was an understatement, it was more like finding a Zora in the Ikana Wastes – possible but damn unlikely. “How do you deal with the loneliness?”

You shrugged. “It can be a bit hard from time to time, but as long as you learn to move with nature and the spirits instead of against them, things become easier. Just like the violets that grow in the cliffs around here.”

Link blinked. “Like flowers?”

“Yeah, they’re my favorite ones. My mother always said that you have to be flexible yet resilient, just like those flowers. Only then can you bloom.”

“Hmm… like flowers…” Link muttered.

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The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched and tried to come to life. After pouring a cup of strong Terminan coffee for yourself, it was time to face the day. For some reason, you were exhausted this morning. You stumbled out the door, rubbing your eyes, when you nearly ran into someone. You opened your eyes to see a ghastly face staring back at you.

“AYEE!” You fell back, by some miracle not spilling your coffee. You scrambled back, only to realize the cursed visage was etched into a mirror face, strapped to someone’s back. That someone turned with a friendly wave.

“Mornin’! Sorry about that, I forget it’s not the most welcoming face sometimes.” The long-eared stranger said, “Was passing by and saw your crops are pretty close to harvest. Figured I’d ask and see if you need some help.”

You looked the rather handsome stranger up and down through bleary eyes. Normally, you’d be more resistant, but something seemed trustworthy about him – the type of guy who stuck to his word and always got the job done. But then again, that could’ve been the sleep deprivation talking. “Yeah sure, that’d be great,” you muttered before taking another swig of coffee.

Damn if he wasn’t a man of his word. Somehow, he managed to pick all the apples in record time. Not only that, he had a perfect eye for figuring out which ones were ripe and which had worms hidden inside. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he learned the same method you learned from your parents.

That was what led you to your next line of questioning for the strange farmhand. It was easier to convince the moon to fall than to pry a single detail about his past out of him, but you were determined. “What about your family?”

Link seemed to flinch. “Oh… my family isn’t around anymore.”

Way to go, remind him of something terrible. “I’m so sorry, I-”

He waved his hands. “Oh, not like that, more that we were separated a long time ago. When I was a kid, I left home. When I came back… my home was pretty much gone, all that was left was…” He took a moment to find the word, “I guess, brother would be the best term, even if he was a pain in the ass. He told me my village was attacked and everyone was safe, but in hiding. I know they’re all okay, just… not around anymore.”

“I see.” You didn’t.

The two of you finished with the crops, moving on to the animals. Even your goats, stubborn as they were, seemed to love him, nudging him with their round horns playfully. You instead focused on your cow and cuccos. Link seemed to be a little wary of your feathered friends. As the two of you finished up and you carried the milk pail to your house, your eyes fell on that ghastly shield again, and his golden sword. “You’re pretty well armed for a random ranch hand.”

“I’m just a traveler, doing odd jobs while I travel,” he said.

A wave of déjà vu passed over you, but you ignored it. “What brings you out here then, Mr. Just a Traveler?”

“Oh exploring. Was here looking for a friend, but I don’t think they’re here. So, figured I’d take a look at the caves around here. You never know what you can find in random grottos.”

“You end up in a lot of trouble I bet. Jumping into strange holes like that is the best way to ask for monsters to jump you.” You thought for a moment. “Then again, you look like the type that doesn’t have trouble with monsters.”

“Oh? And what does that mean?”

“I don’t know, you seem like the type to go on adventures. Hell, you look like you came out of a fairy tale, like you’re about to go save a princess… or a prince,” you added, trying to keep the hopeful note out of your voice.     

“Y’know, I met a prince once. Couple times actually.”

“You’re pulling my leg.”

“No really, a prince of Hy…” His voice trailed off. “Well, a prince.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Was he a rich ass or some fancy dreamboat like the fairy tales say?”

“Neither, he actually kinda reminds me of you.”

“Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?”

He laughed. “Don’t worry, it’s a good thing.”

You shrugged, pouring some of the milk into a bottle for him. The rest would go to your stew tonight. Normally you’d just do a baked fish, but for some reason, fish didn’t sound appealing – almost as if it was the only thing you’d eaten for the past week… or more.  As you handed the milk over, you gave him a hard look. Dark bags hung under his eyes and despite his smile, his eyes seemed a little dull. “Link, you’re looking really tired. I don’t know what you do, but… please don’t go too hard on yourself.”

He shook his head. “I’m not.”

“If you insist…” You sent a silent prayer to the local guardian spirit to watch over your new friend. The wind whistled through the caves, their song more mournful tonight than usual.

==============================

The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched. With almost agonizing slowness, you sat up in bed. It was a slower day, so you were helpful when a stranger offered to help with your farm work in exchange for a hot meal and some supplies. Link was his name, and he clearly looked like the type to have quite the tale to tell, but stubbornly refused to let on any details. He, however, was pretty interested in you. Being there and working together felt oddly natural, like the way things were meant to be. Of course, it didn’t hurt that Link was quite the pretty boy.

After finishing up the harvest work, the two of you laid back in some of the fresh hay in your barn to relax. You still had to swap out the hay beds for your goats, but the two of you had definitely earned a break. That’s when Link commented, “You know, your farm isn’t far from what they call the Lost Woods.”

“Mmhmm,” you said. “My farm is about as close as any of us out here dare to get to it. Too dangerous.”

Link nodded. “Where I’m from there’s a story. They say anyone who gets lost in there turns into a Stalfos, and children become imps known as Skull Kids.”

“I don’t know about that, but I wouldn’t be surprised.” You wiped your forehead, looking out across the valley towards the supposed woods on another side of the canyon. “I don’t trust it. People say that magic isn’t around like it used to be these days, but…”

“What?”

“Don’t laugh at me, but I used to hear children laughing in there years ago but now, the woods are silent. You even used to see the light of fairies dancing between the trees, but now, nothing.” Link’s face fell. He muttered something under his breath, just quiet enough that you couldn’t catch it. You weren’t entirely sure what to say but wanted to make him feel at least a little better. “Well, maybe not completely silent. Some days, I hear music.” Link was still looking at the ground but his ears twitched, so you kept it up, slowly shifting the subject away. “I love music, you should hear the band they have in the bar in town sometime. Only problem is they’re missing a good flute player. Flutes are so beautiful, don’t you think?”

“Oh, well, uh… they’re not for me.”

“Not your style huh? You do seem a bit more like a drum or guitar kind of guy.”

He barely hid a wince. “A little I guess.” Maybe talking about music wasn’t the best idea right now.

“Sorry, guess I’m a bit rusty at entertaining guests,” you said sheepishly. “Just thought I’d try and pick up your spirits a bit. You look even more tired than I do.”

Link raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“You look like a trout that’s been swimming upstream for too long, like you’re fighting something. If you fight nature for too long, you’ll just tear yourself apart. You have to be flexible but-”

“Resilient, like the violets that grow in the cliffs.”

You stopped. “Huh, funny you should mention those.”

“Why? They’re your favorite, aren’t they?”

You whipped around, staring at Link in shock. “How did you…” Suddenly things were falling into place, the weird déjà vu, the way Link seemed so guarded. You steadied yourself. “We’ve had this conversation before… haven’t we?”

Link remained stoic for a moment before slowly nodding.

“Then, why can’t I remember it?”

Link sighed, sinking back into the hay. “It’s because, for some reason, today is looping over and over. It’s the same day every day.”

The silence hung heavy in the air. It felt like shoving a bear off your chest just to get your next question out. “How long has it been?”

“About a month.”

“Damn.” You sank back down. An entire month of reliving the same day. No wonder you were exhausted. No wonder Link was exhausted.

“I’m the only one unaffected… well, I think I am at least. You’re the only one I’ve really been seeing this past month.”

“Surely you could find better company than me,” you laughed.

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

“Oh…”

“To be honest, you’re the most interesting guy I’ve met in quite a while.”

“Oh? …oh!” You tried to ignore the way your cheeks burned, as Link shifted closer to you. “So how do we get out of the time loop? No offense, but it’s probably getting a bit exhausting to do the same day over and over, and I bet it’s really boring for you to deal with explaining everything to me each time.”

“Actually, this is the first time I told you.” Link scratched his head. “I thought that maybe trying something different would eventually break the loop, but I’m out of ideas.” He then explained some of the things you together did over all the past loops, most of them fairly similar. “I’m stumped. It’s not my first time in a time loop, but that time…” his voice trailed off.

“What about that time?”

“Just… forget it. I don’t want to talk about it. Sorry.”

You leaned back into the hay. “Link, why is it you don’t talk about yourself? I hardly know anything about you, but you know me like the back of your hand. I feel a bit at a disadvantage.”

“It’s… difficult.”

“Difficult to explain the details or difficult to bring up since I forget each time?” He didn’t answer. You looked at him, but he was staring off somewhere you couldn’t see. You’d drop the topic for now, but some part of you knew he hadn’t said a word of his past to you. You gently slid your hand over to his. He jumped a bit when you made contact but gently closed his fingers around yours. “Hey, how about we go inside and get something to eat. I’m not gonna make you work again if we’ve only got one day.”

“Food sounds great,” he said quietly, squeezing your hand.

The two of you headed inside, and you quickly got to work on a creamy vegetable stew. The wind whistled through the caves and you found yourself humming along without meaning to.

“What’s that sound?”

“Hm?” You asked, as you looked up from the stew.

“There it is again!”

“Oh, that. The natural caves and grottos around here are shaped in just the right way to catch the evening winds. Depending on the wind, they play different little tunes. Sure beats a music box.”

“Different tunes?”

“Yup,” you gave the stew a slow stir. “It all depends on the time of year and direction of the wind. Some nights I get some nice slow ballads, and some nights they’re a bit more bouncy.” You doled out a hearty helping into two bowls, handing one to Link, who eagerly dug in. “Now that I think of it though, they seem a bit different lately. About a week ago, the songs seemed a bit more… well musical. It’s hard to explain, but it’s almost like a real instrument.”

Link hesitated for a moment. “Anything weird happen about a week ago?”

“Not that I can think of. We did get a pretty strong storm, but I can’t complain getting a little extra rain this time of year. Fish like it too.”

Link finished the last spoonful with a thoughtful look. “I think I know why we’re stuck in a time loop, and why I’m the only one who isn’t affected.”

You looked up from the stew. “Should I be worried? It’s not like a monster or anything, right?”

Link sighed. “No, that’d be too easy. I’m going to explore the caves. I think the answer lies there.” He fidgeted. “It means… I’m going to have to spend a while just looking, I think.”

You tried not to let your disappointment show. “How long do you think?

“I dunno, maybe a week?”

A week wasn’t so bad. And besides, you wouldn’t even remember it, right? “Are you sure you’ll be okay? Those caves are dangerous.”

“Believe me, I can handle it.”

“Right, but still…” You collected the bowls and took them to the washbasin. “Hey, what if I come with you? I know these mountains better than most people.”

Link shook his head. “Appreciate it, but this is something I need to do myself.” He stood and made his way to the door. “Thanks for dinner. Hopefully I’ll be back in no time, and we’ll be free of this time loop.”

As he opened the door you took his hand. “Link, if next week is… well, today again, you’ll still come back and visit me, right? Just so I know you’re safe?”

He lifted your hand to his lips and gave you a small kiss and a soft smile. With that, he walked down the path and into the night, accompanied by the breathy song of the caves.

==============================

The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched.

A handsome stranger stopped by briefly to ask for directions to the caves. You told him it was dangerous, but given his gear, he was probably going to be fine.

==============================

The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched.

Your goats broke out of the fence again. You knew you needed to fix that, but with Market Day tomorrow, there was too much to do. It’d have to wait.

==============================

The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched.

Rain hammered down against the farmhouse roof. By the looks of it, it was a proper torrent, and the roads would be unsafe for Market Day. So much for that, maybe you could make a special trip next week instead.

At least it gave you time to get some rest. As you brewed yourself some coffee, you kept thinking about a strange dream you had of a monster thing that wished to rule the world and kidnap pretty princesses but seemed rather smitten by you instead.

Imagine that.

==============================

The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched.

Absolutely nothing of interest happened today.

==============================

The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched. You threw open your window shutters to look out at the beautiful sunrise, only to find a stranger standing at your door. You hurried downstairs and opened the door. “Uh, good morning, can I help you?”

The stranger looked up with crazed eyes. “Hi! Good morning! My name’s Link and I think you’re really cool!”

“Uh…”

“Here!” He shoved a bouquet of slightly crumpled flowers into your hands.

“Oh? Oh! These are my favorite… but…”

“Resilient! Like flowers!”

You took a shaky step back. “Are… are you okay?”

“I…” He trembled, before stumbling to the ground. It was then you realized he was so thin; he must not have had a good meal in days.

“Whoa, whoa, easy there,” you said, helping him to at least sit up. “Come on now, deep breaths.”

His eyes fluttered, unfocused, but he turned towards your voice. “I missed you,” he croaked out.

“I…” It was hard to figure out what to say to a delirious man.

“I forgot you forgot.”

“What?”

He closed his eyes. A shaky breath seemed to rattle his body. “Time loop.” He then looked at you as if that one word explained everything and hadn’t launched about fifty billion other questions. He then looked a little sheepish and asked, “Milk?”

Now that you could handle. “Sure, just a moment. Stay here.” It didn’t take more than a minute to fetch him a bottle. When you returned, he was oddly still, almost to where you were afraid he wasn’t long for this world. You steadily held the glass to his lips, trying to keep him from drinking too quickly. With some fluid in him, you then dabbed his forehead with a cool cloth as he trembled. Eventually, he gave up trying to sit up by himself and leaned into you.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” He kept mumbling. “It’s all my fault…”

“Hey now, no need to apologize. Uh, Link, right? How about you start your story at the beginning?”

He stared at his feet for a good minute before finally starting to explain. Throughout his story, you gently dabbed at the sweat on his forehead. The longer the story went on, the more worried you became as he clearly was in no shape to have been traveling alone, let alone exploring caves and damp grottos. “I meant to be gone a week but got a little delayed. There were more caves than I thought. Then I got trapped in a rockslide.”

Your chest felt hollow. “How long of a delay?” He remained silent. “Link, how many days have there been in the loop now?

He looked up, the bags under his eyes especially prevalent. “Ninety-eight.”

“By the Light of Ordona…” You sat beside him, taking his hand in yours. “I’m so sorry…”

“’s’not your fault,” he muttered.

You stared at him as his eyes unfocused, blankly looking out over the horizon. You had to do something. You stood, pulling him to his feet. “Okay, then you deserve some rest.”

“I…” He weakly protested, but you shoved him through the farmhouse door. “I’m supposed to get it back, it’s my responsibility!”

“I’m not taking no for an answer. If you’re trapped in this time loop, then you have time to rest.”

“Nooo…”

“The stupid thing in the grotto will be there tomorrow!”

The two of you stumbled through the door and up the stairs – which suddenly felt way too narrow for a normal person, let alone two. Your visitor was essentially deadweight, barely helping, though that may have been a blessing in disguise given his mental state. Halfway up, with his foot caught on a step, the disoriented Link decided it was the perfect time for questions. “Who’s Ordona?”

You were caught off-guard for a brief moment. “Oh right, you’re not from around here. Ordona is the spirit who guards this part of the forests. The Golden Goddesses don’t care for us farmers all the way out here.”

Link let out a snort. “Guess I made the right call coming out here then. I don’t think I want to see them anytime soon…”

“What, they don’t like you?” You said via a half-laugh half-grunt.

“No, they like me a lot. That’s the problem.” You helped him flop into your bed and then turned to your cabinets, searching for any leftover herbs you could use to help. “You can’t stay here and watch over me, you’ve got to do your harvest, right?”

“Link I’m not going to leave you to only get sicker just so I can pick a few apples,” You said, snatching up a rather aromatic mushroom and a jar of green jelly. “Besides if we’re in a time loop, I can always pick them tomorrow.”

“But what about…”

“No buts, you are staying there and resting!” You ordered over your shoulder as you ran down to the kitchen to grab a kettle. By the time you came back with some boiling water, Link was propped up on the pillows with his arms crossed. You groaned. “Link, you need to have time to take care of yourself too. It’s not like you need to constantly squeeze everything out of every single day.”

He groaned as he fought to keep his eyes open. “I do when all I have is one day… one day to get to know you…”

“Me? But what about the thing in the grotto? Or your friend?”

Link sighed. “Maybe. But it’s been ninety-eight days, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I didn’t want the stupid thing in the grotto to begin with. As for my friend, I’m not sure if we’ll ever see each other again. But through all of this, I’ve been with you all these times and I know I want to be with you, more than ever. I want to be out of this loop so we can actually… you know.”

“Link, are you asking me out?”

“Give me a little break here, I’m dead tired and not used to the whole… relationship thing.” He sighed. “I’ve been running for most of my life. I’m done.”

“Then stop running and rest. Let’s just have a few days where you stay with me or something.” You sighed, giving him his medicine. He choked it down, but it seemed to bring at least a little color back to his cheeks. Despite that, sleep was clawing at him and he slid down the sheets. “I promise I’ll help you find whatever it is causing this time loop. But for today, you need to go to sleep.”

“Don’t wanna.”

You almost laughed at how childish it sounded. “And why is that?”

“Because every time I sleep, you forget me.”

Your words died in your throat. Instead, you crawled into the bed with him. For a moment the two of you just laid there in each other’s arms, as the wind whistled through the caves.

==============================

The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched. For some reason, you felt like you had never slept more soundly. As you finished dressing for the day, a knock came at the door. You quickly descended the stairs and opened the door to find an unusual visitor dressed like a mercenary. Even more surprising was seeing all of your apples already harvested and ready to go to market.

The stranger looked at you with determination. “[Y/n], this is going to sound weird, but I need you to give me an honest chance to explain everything.” He presented you with a bouquet of the violets that grew on the cliffs.

You weren’t even sure what to say to that, but you gave him a nod.

“My name is Link, and I’ve been stuck in a time loop. For what was over three months for me, I’ve gotten to know you. I know you love fishing in the brook behind your house. I know you cook a mean stew. I know you love cuccos and that you know exactly what each of the sounds they make means. I know you love the sounds of the caves at night and the cliffside violets. I know you grow your crops and take them down to the village yourself – which seems so dangerous, and you should really carry at least a dagger or bow with you in case something happens!” He sighed. “I know you love the mountains but hope to see the world. I know you don’t mind being alone, but you don’t like being lonely. I know you’re kind and caring and… and I know that I’m in love with you.”

You were left speechless, your hand curling tighter on the doorknob. At first you wanted to ask if this was some kind of joke, but everything he said was too accurate for a joke or a coincidence. You set your jaw and looked him over carefully, for any chance of a ruse, but all it did was make him feel more familiar to you. “I… know you.”

“You remember?”

“I mean, I feel like I should at least.” Link’s face fell. You took his hands in yours. “But I trust you. And I… I’d really like to get to know you more.”

Link squeezed your hands. “Believe me, I promise I’ll do whatever you want, but first, I think it’s time to stop this loop.”

“Yeah, uh, how exactly? I’m just a farmer, not some fancy adventurer.”

“I’ve checked everywhere. I know the source of the time loop is a stupid treasure in one of the grottos, but I can’t find it!”

“Did you check under my house?”

Link could have been knocked over by a stiff breeze. “What?”

“Didn’t I say anything? There’s one of the grottos under my house.”

“The grotto with the treasure… it’s under your house.” Link’s eye twitched. “This whole time, it was right here?!”

“At least it wasn’t somewhere worse?” You suggested.

“I wish the goddesses didn’t have a sense of humor…” He grumbled. You ran your fingers along his cheek, releasing some of his tension. “Fine, let’s end this.

You led him to a locked and frankly forgotten storm-cellar door on the side of your home. After fiddling with the rusty lock and hinges, you led Link down a shaky ladder.

The grotto was not big at all, a tad smaller than your bedroom. While you had considered turning it into a proper cellar multiple times, the work required just wasn’t worth it. The mountain granite was unyielding and everything was covered in moss and slime. A small stream ran from one end to the other, not deep enough for anything but minnows. The stream flowed into a small crack in the wall that led out to where you fished. Air flowed opposite the water and into the rest of the caves. Wedged into that small crack was the mouthpiece of a tarnished flute-like thing, seemingly left there for decades if not centuries.

“That’s it?” You asked. It was an odd “treasure” if it could be called that.

“It’s… complicated,” Link said. In that moment, his eyes looked so old. Time loop aside, he looked like he had seen much more than any man should. “Do you know what it’s like to have a responsibility thrust on you, knowing you’d have to do a thankless job for the rest of your days? At first, I was at least chased around for it, but now… now I’m just alone.” He groaned, his eyes hidden by his hair. In a small voice, he said, “I hated it. I hated that stupid ocarina. I never asked for all this, I only wanted to live a normal life, to have a fairy like the other Kokiri back home.” He took a deep breath, and the confession slipped out. “I hated it so much, I threw it away into the mountain river. The water must’ve carried it here. But… I’m still a knight, and my duty is to protect it to my dying breath.”

Admittedly, you were a bit lost, but understanding could come later. You sat next to him on the mossy boulder and took his hand. At first, he flinched but relaxed into your touch. “Life can be so unfair… I’m sorry you had to face this alone. All of this time looping nonsense and then… well everything you haven’t told me. Or maybe you did tell me. I’m sorry I don’t remember.”

A wry snort escaped him. “No, I didn’t tell you that whole story yet.”

“Someday, I hope you can.”

He looked up to you, a bit of confusion in his eyes before he understood the depth of your words. “I hope so too.”

With that, Link stood and approached the instrument. With a sigh, he reached down and plucked it from the crevice.

And then, everything was plunged into darkness.

==============================

The cucco’s cry greeted you that morning, as it did every morning.

You yawned and stretched. Your head was pounding, and you felt stiff. Everything seemed like a blur, you could hardly remember climbing through the grotto with Link yesterday.

Wait.

Yesterday.

You threw open the shutters. All of the apples Link picked was still there, ready for market day. “It’s… Friday.” You then saw someone loading the produce into your wagon. “Link!”

The swordsman set down the crate, turning to you. Even across the distance, you could see his eyes were filled with a hesitant hope. “Good morning… do you…”

“I remember!” You ran out of the house in your nightclothes, leaping into his arms. “It’s over, it’s finally over!” The two of you laughed as Link toppled over, sending you both tumbling onto a dirt pile. The only thing that wasn’t covered in dirt was the gleaming ocarina hanging from Link’s belt.

Soon, you were rolling down the road with on your wagon with Link by your side. Your horse made slow but steady progress across the bridge towards the market. Link had just finished filling you in on the rest of the time loop you forgot. He then sheepishly added, “Um, I was thinking, this trip doesn’t get any less dangerous. You probably need a bodyguard for the next market day.”

You smiled. “I think I do.”

One market day turned into two, which turned into three, which turned into Link fully moving into the homestead. Together, the two of you cut a bit more of the forest back, building a bigger pasture for your cow, goats, and cuccos. You built a bigger house right next to the brook and dug out a little fishing pond. As people soon came to trade with your growing farm, it almost felt like you were building a village – and someday it might be. For now, it would be your personal slice of paradise.

It would be several years before he told you about his travels, his life in Hyrule and his time in Termina. Around that time, the ocarina would occasionally glow, and he would disappear for a day or two, but he was always quick to return to you – often with some rare gift that seemed impossible for him to have gotten a hold of. Of course, those adventures are a story for another day. They hardly mattered to Link when he finally had his home after all these years, a home with you.

[connorswhisk]

Ima need me some more sexual tension with Miguel O’Hara 🙏🙏

ready and waiting for you sir🫡🫡🫡

struck blind - Miguel O’Hara x Transmasc!Spider-Man!Reader

You did not expect to finish out your day fighting a giant mechanized rhinoceros, but since becoming Spider-Man, you haven’t known what to expect anymore.

This version of the Rhino isn’t what you’re used to, though. He’s steam-powered, covered in little bronze gears and cogs. Instead of speaking, his roars come out in a garbled mix of bells, whistles, and clangs, making for a fairly creepy cacophony every time the mech opens its mouth. You’ve never seen anything like it, and you’re pretty sure this guy isn’t from around your part of town.

And he just had to attack during the beer festival, didn’t he? While everyone’s having too much fun to know what to do with themselves and no one’s reaction time is up to par. You suppose you should be grateful for the festival taking place on the outskirts of the city, but still…

“Come on, run!” you yell frantically as you usher civilians out of the fray. When Rhino tears a newspaper stand out of the ground and chucks it in your direction, you have to bat it away from a pair of open-mouthed pre-teens. You try to ask the kids if they’re all right, but they turn tail and race in the opposite direction. When you glance behind you, it’s to see the machine barreling at you full-speed. Usually, you would have picked that up, but you were so preoccupied with saving people that you hadn’t sensed anything.

It’s too late to move. You screw your eyes shut and brace for impact -

Something warm collides into your side, and suddenly, you’re swinging through the air. Your savior is - well, there’s no other way to put it - your savior is Spider-Man. Not you, of course, but his suit doesn’t look all that different from yours, and the strand of web he’s got clutched in his hand as he pulls you both to safety is unmistakable.

Other Spider-Man sets you down. He’s taller than you, more muscular. You pretend like you weren’t just nestled into his broad chest and step away from him, eying him warily. “Who are you? What the hell is going on?”

“I’m Miguel,” he says. “You’re Y/N. We don’t have time for this.”

“Don’t have - ? How do you know my name?! Hello?!?”

The back of your neck prickles.

Other Spider-Man curses under his breath. “Shit - Jess!” He grabs you again, this time more by the waist, webbing the pair of you away. A ginormous bronze horn smashes through the concrete wall you’d been standing against not moments before.

“You know I can web myself, right?!” He’s pulled you behind a big oak tree now, his large hands pressing you firmly against the bark. He ignores you completely and says, “I’ll explain everything in more detail later. For right now, Jess will distract the Rhino.”

Sure enough, the giant beast is currently preoccupied with a woman on a motorcycle, whirling around and roaring with frustration as she zips all around him.

There’s way too much going on at one time for you to keep up with it all. When you look forward again, it’s to see Other Spider-Man reaching up to pull off his mask, and oh, shit.

Other Spider-Man - Miguel - is hot. Like, to a ridiculous degree. His hair falls nearly to his shoulders, swept back behind his ears to frame a handsome face, long nose, strong jaw, dark eyes. And he looks at you so intensely while he speaks that you feel a pink flush blazing through your cheeks, heating your entire body.

Timelines, multiverse, canon events, your head is reeling. But deep down, somewhere in your core, it makes sense. You’re not the only Spider in existence. You are not alone.

“Ok. I understand.”

Miguel nods. “We’ll take you back to HQ once we’re finished here.”

You pull your own mask off for a gulp of fresh air, breath hitching slightly as you inhale. You can’t help but look at Miguel again - your eyes meet his accidentally and Miguel stiffens, his gaze roaming over the plains of your face. “What?” you ask breathlessly, but you think you might know what.

“…Nothing,” Miguel says, and then he pulls his mask back on. “Sit tight, Jess and I will handle this.”

He webs away. You duck into a crouch, heart racing. You’re not sure what just happened - or what’s going to happen next - but you’re so caught up in everything you haven’t even put your mask on again. There’s a lot of questions you have, but currently, the thing at the forefront of your mind is the image of those dark eyes meeting yours, and what you saw inside them.

[inkareds]

can you do a cass cain x female reader story?

Rest Your Weary Eyes Cassandra Cain

nav // dc m.list // ko-fi

✧.* word count: 1k (a shortie) ✧.* genre: Fluff ✧.* warnings: The reader is female, that's it

After a long night, Cassandra just wants to be in the arms of the woman she loves

Jesus christ this was requested last year I am so fucking sorry I had like 0 ideas for her so I'm really sorry if she's a bit ooc (also I'm working on everyone's requests starting from the oldest one 💀)

“Black Bat watch your six!” Cass quickly turned around at the sound of Barbara in her earpiece. 

Unfortunately, she didn’t turn quickly enough as the moment she did turn around, the assassin had already lunged towards her. Being around thrice her size, the assassin barrelled towards her and shoved her entire body towards a brick wall. 

Cass groaned as he landed a punch to her abdomen, disoriented from the crash the assassin was quick to land a few more hits to her. Though once she did regain her focus, her eyes saw opportunity after opportunity within the assassin’s hold against her. Making use of his weak points, she efficiently took him down. 

Finally, back on her own two feet, Barbara spoke again. 

“There’s four more coming your way.” Cass sighed. 

“This is going to be a long night.” She muttered under her breath. 

~

Your tired eyes tried their best to stay awake as you glared at the document in front of you. There were barely any words on the screen, yet you have to finish this four thousand-word essay by the end of the week. A task, at this point, you felt was impossible to do. You shook your head. 

“I can do this.” You muttered to yourself as you began to type. 

After the first few paragraph and sips of your favourite tea, you finally got your groove for writing back. The words came somewhat easily to you as you progressed into the essay. 

In fact, you were so focused you didn’t hear the loud thump on the outside of your fire escape. Nor the sound of the window opening. All you saw was a black shadow in the shape of a bat behind you from the reflection of your computer. Causing you to scream out. 

Cass immediately took off her mask and put both her hands up. 

“It’s me! It’s me!” 

Realising now that this was Cassandra Cain, your longtime girlfriend, you let out a loud sigh. 

“Oh my fucking god! Why’d you gotta scare me like that?! I know you’re like trained to be quiet or something! But Jesus, I think you shaved off four years off my life.” You chuckled holding your chest as you heaved, still panicked. 

Though, after seeing Cass’ reaction to your statement, you sterned yourself. There was a tired tight-lipped smile on your beautiful girlfriend’s expression. Your brows furrowed together as you looked across her body. 

With her standing up and you still sat down on your chair, you could get a good look at her costume. Muck, dirt, and blood greased the surface of her suit. Sweat stuck to the skin of her face and her hair was much greasier than usual after a night of patrolling. Not to mention how tired she actually looked. Her eyes dropped and it would seem that she was begging for a shower. 

You sighed and shook your head. Cass was just standing there, her chest rising and falling at the deep breaths she was taking to try and calm her quick heartbeat from the tough patrol she just went through. She came here to just see you. Spy on you for a little bit, as creepy as that sounds, she just wanted to make sure you were okay. 

Today’s patrol made her remember how dangerous of a place Gotham could be. She needed to know that you were safe and sound. What she didn’t expect was for her body to not listen to what her brain wanted and snuck into your room. 

But now that she was actually in your room, in front of you, she didn’t really know what to do. 

“Go shower, my love. I’ll get some of your clothes that you left here then we can rest together.” 

At your response, she smiled before making her way towards the bathroom. 

Though the two of you didn’t live together, it was almost like your apartment was her second home. Next to your towel was a grey towel just for her. Next to your toothbrush was her own. She even had her face wash and skincare right next to yours. She smiled looking around the bathroom, it was such a simple space. 

Something a lot of people overlook, but it was an important part of a home. It was almost like you in that regard, though she chuckled over her mind comparing you to a bathroom. 

You were far more than that. But it was true. You weren’t a vigilante, you weren’t a hero, you were just a normal civilian student going by her daily life. You were by no means special in the grand scheme of things and you could be overlooked by many things in life. 

But by her? By Cassandra Cain trained assassin and Black Bat? You were everything. You were one of the most important things in her life. And seeing her life slowly merge into yours in the shape of her belongings slowly making a home in your home? That caused her heart to swell. 

So much that she couldn’t help but take a quick hot shower so she could cuddle with you on your bed. 

When she finished her shower, you were already in bed ready to welcome her. 

Cass wordlessly shuffled to your bed and wrapped her hands around your torso as she lay on her side. Her face buried deep in the crook of your neck. You chuckled at her touchiness, who would’ve thought one of the genuinely most terrifying vigilantes in Gotham was such a cuddle bug? 

As you kissed the top of her head you whispered. 

“Good night Cass.”

Cass hummed back. 

“Good night beautiful.” 

At the comfortable weight of your love safe and sound in your arms. Her somewhat still wet hair against your hands, you felt yourself drifting into a deep sleep. Though not before you heard Cass mumble. 

“Thank you.” 

Leaving you to sleep with a wide smile, knowing tomorrow morning you’d actually be able to have a conversation with the woman you loved. Now, though, now, you’d both rest. 

[squeakyfir]

The Love from a Skeleton [Jack Skellington X Reader]

Plot: Halloween... The time of year you absolutely hate. Not because of the ghouls and monsters, you enjoyed that kind of thing, it's because of trick or treaters. They get free candy and whine and complain to their parents if they didn't get what they expected, which is the whole bowl of candy. Anyways, since you don't celebrate that holiday, you decide to go for a late stroll through the woods on the hiking trail. While walking, your whole life changes. And I mean that literally... Everything started to change drastically until you find trees with holiday symbols on it. One of them being a Jack-o-lantern. Being curious, you enter through the door and discover a world that would represent a children's book written by Stephen King. But the leader of this place was a king. Not just any king... A pumpkin king. His name is Jack Skellington. He's a very tall and slender skeleton with a pinstripe suit, a black cat bow tie and ghost dog named Zero. He discovers you and welcomes you to Halloween town until he can figure out how to send you home. But this place is perfect! No taxes to pay No drama And no more loneliness Jack believes that your hideous. But don't worry, hideous in the Halloween town definition means... Beautiful. Enjoy! *I do not own the Nightmare before Christmas. All rights belong to Tim Burton and Disney™*

Chapter 6

Previous ~ Next

After you had breakfast that Jack made, which he did an amazing job on since he found a cook book from your world, you both went down to the the same building where Jack first introduced you and Christmas to the citizens of Halloween town. It was decided by Jack that everyone in Halloween town would have special roles to play to help make their version of Christmas more special and to help speed up the process. You stood off to the side as Jack was explaining what he was handing to each monster.

While you weren't really paying attention, you then hear a sound that came from a baby doll. It sounded a bit strange to you and even to the vampires. "What kind of noise is that for a baby to make"?

"Perhaps it can be improved" Jack suggested.

"No problem".

"I knew it! Doctor, thank you for coming". You then see a monster you haven't seen yet and boy did he look creepy. He was as white as Jack's skull, had small hands, a mouth similar to that of a crocodile, wore rubber gloves on his tiny hands, small glasses that looked like they're from the matrix, wore a lab coat and was in a motorized wheelchair. He was surely the creepiest one yet. "We need some of these". You couldn't see what Jack was showing this monster but before you could ask to see, the monster said, "Their construction should be exceedingly simple, I think".

"How horrible our Christmas will be" said the mayor with joy.

"Nooo", Jack said correcting the mayor when his face then switched over to being that scared and worried face, "How Jolly"!

"Oh. How 'jolly' our Christmas will be". Immediately after he said that, objects were then thrown at the mayor and when you looked to where it came from, it was from three little monsters. Three new ones that wore masks which were a devil, a skeleton and a witch. They looked like children to be honest. "What are you doing here"?

"Jack sent for us" said the devil.

"Specifically" said the witch.

"By name" said the skeleton.

"Lock".

"Shock".

"Barrel".

"Jack! Jack, it's Oogies boys". Jack looked over and smiled delightfully when he saw the small monsters. "Ah, Halloweens finest trick or treaters. The job I have for you that is top secret. It requires craft, cunning, mischief".

"And we thought you didn't like us, Jack" said Shock. The three of them then started laughing mischievously. It was enough for you to realize that they can't be trusted. "Absolutely no one must know about this. Not a soul! Now..."

Jack then started whispering to the three about what his plan was and you tried listening in but it was really difficult to listen in. Dang, Jack was an expert at being quiet. I guess that's why he's the pumpkin king. The mayor also tried listening in but also failed. He thought he could use his megaphone as a way to hear better by placing it up to his ear, which by the way, he looks like he doesn't even have ears. It wasn't working for him so he thought there was something wrong with it and stuck his hand into his megaphone only to get his finger bitten by a spider. "Ow"! He placed the spider back on his shirt was now acting as a bow tie.

This place was just weird but awesome at the same time.

"And another thing. Leave that no account Oogie Boogie OUT OF THIS" said Jack.

"Whatever you say Jack".

"Of course, Jack".

"Wouldn't dream of it Jack". All three of them put one of their hands behind thier back and when you looked over, they had their fingers crossed. You felt like they would do something terrible and somehow Jack didn't notice. The three monster children noticed you and went over to get a better look at you.

"Who is she"?

"She's strange and different".

"She's hideous".

You felt like they were making fun of you as they stood around you and when you were going to abject and yell at them for being so rude, Jack said, "Oh, this is (Y/n). She's new to Halloween town". The three monster children cackled and then ran off. "Rude" you muttered to yourself. Jack heard you and asked, "What's wrong (Y/n)? Did Lock, Shock and Barrel say something wrong"?

"They just called me ugly"!

"Uhm... They said that you were hideous and... Oh! Let me explain. Hideous here means beautiful, so they called you beautiful". You didn't understand but the more you thought about it, it made more sense. Things were supposed to be creepy here and they all embraced it. After understanding this you decided to do something that made you really question this place and it's logic. "Well then Jack, I think your hideous". He had a blush appear on his skull. That surprised you and he smiled shyly and he said, "And I you, (Y/n)".

The line of monsters was getting shorter and it was now at the point of where you tried to stay awake. Jack was completely over thinking everything when it came to Christmas. For example, this...

Jack was holding a string of bells and said, "It goes something like this". Jack then tapped the bells in the tune of 'Jingle Bells'. "How about it? Think you can manage"?

The three monsters that played instruments then started to play the tune but it was incredibly off key and sounded so depressing and cringy. It ended on a high note and it was so loud that it woke the mayor up from a small nap he was having. "Next"!

"Fantastic! Now why don't you all you practice on that and we'll be in great shape"! The next monster was the monster with the axe in his head. "This device is called 'a nut cracker'-".

"Jack! Jack! We caught him! We caught him" said the three monster children.

"Perfect! Open it, quickly"! The three monster children then opened the sack and out popped the easter bunny that was pink with a ribbon around him that read "Happy Easter" and he also held an easter basket with eggs inside. "That's not Sandy Claws".

"It isn't"?

"Who is it"?

The bunny then hopped over to you and the monster with an axe in his head. The monster pointed at the bunny and said, "Bunny"! The bunny got scared and jumped back into the sack. "Not Sandy Claws! Take him back"!

"We followed your instructions".

"We went through the door".

"Which door" asked Jack with slight anger, "theres more than one". Jack then pulled out a Christmas tree cookie, "Sandy Claws is behind the door shaped like this"!

"I told you"! The three monster children then started to fight each other in the way that siblings would fight. Jack was getting annoyed by this and since you couldn't see what he was doing, he then roared at the children which made them stare in horror. "I'm very sorry for the inconvenience sir" said Jack to the Easter bunny. "Take him home first! And apologize again! Be careful with Sandy Claws when you fetch him. Treat him nicely"!

"Got it".

"We'll get it right..."

"Next time".

Jack turned back to the monster with an axe in his head and finished up with him and he was the last monster in the line. "Well, that's everybody". You mentally cheered but then heard Jack sigh in disappointment. "What's wrong, Jack"? He showed you a drawing of him in a Santa outfit that would fit him perfectly. "My Sandy Claws outfit. I don't have anyone else to make it for me. No one else knows how to sew in our town". He had a huge frown form on his skull and that hit you hard. "Jack"?

"Yes"?

"Maybe... I could make it"? Jack's frown turned into a bright and happy grin. "You really think you can"?

"Sure. I took a sewing class when I was ten and I'm confident I can pull it off". Jack then, without warning, pulled you into a tight embrace of relief and happiness. "Thank you so much (Y/n)! How long do you think it'll take"?

"I'm not sure. Probably a couple days before Christmas if I'm honest. If I rush it then it may not come out right".

"Of course, I understand". Jack hugged you again. "Thank you so much (Y/n). This means so much to me". You hugged back and you still thought that this whole thing was a bad idea. How does something that's terrifying combine with something that's meant to be joyful? Simple answer...

It doesn't.

But Jack won't understand and even if you tried to explain he still wouldn't listen. But you were a supportive person and had to help Jack with this Christmas thing. But you still had that terrible feeling in your stomach and you kept remembering that dream you had about that tiny Christmas tree. It really did seem like the foreseeable outcome if Jack stays on this path but there's no stopping him.

He's determined...

[pinkmilkyblue]

Was experimenting with monochrome color palettes, so have some Baby Dark Sides as Lock, Shock, and Barrel!!

I bet you they watched The Nightmare Before Christmas every year together (for both Halloween AND Christmas)🖤🤍

(COLORED VERSION BELOW)

[abbacchiosbelt]

I’ve had a dumb scenario bouncing around in my head for a bit that I’d like to request of you- Fem!la Squadra member hasn’t gotten up yet for whatever reason, so one of the boys goes to her room to get her. Turns out she’s still asleep and stubbornly refuses to wake up. LaSquadra member rips the blankets off her, unaware that she sleeps in the nude (bc it’s more comfy that way) Reactions? Who’s shocked, who’s mortified, who’s horny etc.? (Plz and thank you 🙏)

18+ under the cut!

Risotto is not the type of man to bother his teammates lest it is about a mission or their performance. It just so happens that today you and Formaggio were set to leave for a mission - the clock was ticking closer to the time you were supposed to depart and you still hadn’t emerged from your room. Risotto considers sending someone else to do it but eventually decides it’s best if he does it himself. 

He knocks once, twice, and finally enters when there’s no response. There’s a bit of unease creeping up his spine until he sees that’s you’re perfectly fine, sound asleep in bed — until he realizes you’re completely naked when you shift in your sleep, causing the blanket to fall off of your body. Risotto quickly leaves and slams the door shut loud enough so that he knows it’ll wake you and makes his way back to his own room, training his face into a blank mask as he walks past Prosciutto and Melone — he can only hope the lavender-haired man didn’t notice the lightest flush to Risotto’s cheeks and the growing bulge under his striped pants. 

The sight of you sprawled out naked in the morning sun wasn’t something Risotto was going to forget easily.

Formaggio is not subtle at all when he comes barreling into your room, ready to tease you for sleeping in so late. Either he or Illuso were usually the last to emerge from their rooms or to walk in the door when meeting at other places with the team, so he couldn’t pass up the chance to be the one poking fun at you for once.

When he sees you’re naked, his eyes practically bug out of his head. For a brief second he feels embarrassed that he walked in on you, but he gets over it pretty quickly — well, it’s your fault for leaving the door unlocked and sleeping naked, right? He’ll loudly knock on your doorframe until he sees you startle awake, staring at you with a sleazy grin on his face.

‘Are you comfy like that, bambina?’

He’ll laugh and saunter away afterward, expecting you to throw a pillow at him or something. He won’t close the door, though. Expect to be teased for a long time afterward.

Illuso already knew you slept naked — he’d poked his head around your mirror one too many times on ‘accident’ and caught you with your chest or ass sticking out. He kept it to himself, though. He may be nosy and creepy, but he’s not a complete asshole. (Most of the time...) 

He barely thinks about the fact when Risotto tells him to go wake you up, and when Illuso swings your door open he’s momentarily surprised by the sight of you completely nude on top of the sheets. He steps in and slams the door behind them, which effectively does its job of waking you up. Illuso will give you one of those smirks that always gets your blood boiling before he makes a comment on how you make a better sleeping beauty than him.

Illuso is one of the few to try his chances and see if you’d actually like him to stick around... If not, he’ll grin and retreat through your own mirror, snickering at the sight of your incredulous face. Everyone is hearing about this incident. 

If you do let him stay... Everyone is going to know you woke up by the noises coming from your room.

Pesci thinks everyone sleeps in a set of nice matching pajamas like he and Prosciutto do. His aniki had forced him to get some ‘nice’ PJs after he saw that Pesci just slept in old, ratty shirts and oversized sweatpants, and sometimes even his work clothes. When Prosciutto commands him to go get you up, he’s reluctant but incapable of not following his aniki’s orders. Pesci has never liked waking people up — they always get angry or weird. He’d rather just let them sleep, consequences be damned.

He knocks on your door timidly a few times and eventually mishears a creak of the bed as you saying ‘Hello?’ Pesci opens the door and screams at the sight of your sleeping, nude body. Before he can even explain himself he slams the door and runs back to his room, hoping that you didn’t notice who was at the door.

He’ll deal with getting yelled at later. Pesci can’t look you in the eyes for a month, and everyone ribs him about it.

Prosciutto hates when people sleep in — he thinks it’s a sign of laziness and is more than annoyed when he’s asked to go wake you up. Why the hell were you still asleep anyways? It was near 8 A.M. Any respectable person would be up by 7 A.M. at the latest. He pounds on your door twice before opening the door up — and he’s quick to step in and shut the door before anyone else sees that you’re just... naked, on the bed. 

Who sleeps naked? Wouldn’t you get your sheets dirty?? Prosciutto is so stuck in the details that he doesn’t register you are very much awake and staring at him, nude body illuminated by the sheets you were clutching to yourself now. It’s then that Prosciutto realizes who and what he’s looking at, and just how good you looked when he opened the door.

There’s no time for flirting, though — not when there’s a mission at hand and you’re holding everyone back. ‘Get up,’ he’ll bark. ‘We’ll be late because of you.’ He ignores your expression and leaves, but not before leaving you with one last thing to think about. ‘Tomorrow we’re going shopping, cara. You wouldn’t want anyone else to see you like this, hm?’

Melone can both be a night owl or an early bird, depending on his schedule. He has no issues with adjusting his sleep schedule on the fly and therefore doesn’t pay much attention to when/how long other people on the team are sleeping. If he needs you, he’ll come get you. When he’s asked by Risotto to come wake you up, he pouts and says that all women deserve their beauty sleep... Not that you weren’t beautiful already. Risotto just pinches the bridge of his nose and tells him you’re going to be late for a mission.

Melone thinks nothing of simply coming into your room, completely forgoing knocking. When he sees that you’re stark naked on the bed, he just grins and quietly shuts the door behind him. He’ll creep up beside your bed until he can awaken you with a soft shake — Melone will keep the memory of your face upon waking up and realizing just what he’d seen in his mind for a long time.

‘Don’t worry, darling. I’ve seen plenty of nude bodies. You’re lovely, but if you want me to think of you like just another body, I can. Oh, and yu’re due for a mission.’ Melone will grin and lean close to you. ‘But if you want to spend a few extra minutes in bed...’

Depending on your reaction, you’ll get a Melone who respectfully walks away or a Melone who gives you a very nice wake-up call.

Ghiaccio is pissed that he has to wake you up when he gets the order from Risotto. Are you seriously still asleep?? WHY?? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO WAKE YOU UP?? Still, as much as he’ll grumble and complain, he won’t refuse an order from Risotto. He stomps off to your room and almost rips the door off the hinges — and then he realizes you’re naked and everything in your room goes ice cold.

It doesn’t help the situation, of course. Ghiaccio’s face grows redder and redder as he watches your chest and he slams the door behind him as he runs away, both annoyed at himself and you. He knows you’ll be awake now... But did you really have to be naked?? He wishes, too, that he could have been a little smoother. He’s been harboring a crush on you for months and he could have done something...

Ghiaccio is going to be extra icy towards you for the next couple of weeks, mostly because he’s stuck in his own head. The air is going to be colder whenever you’re around... In this scenario, you’ll have to approach him first.

Sorbet and Gelato keep to themselves 99% of the time, so to be asked to do something so trivial? They scoff and almost ignore it, but decide that they can make something fun out of it. That’ll teach a lesson to both the person who asked them to do something so stupid and to you for sleeping in so late. 

They sneak in quietly — both of them snicker when they see that you’re naked. Even better! Sorbet slithers his way into bed with you without waking you (they are... good at being quiet) and Gelato perches next to your bed before he wakes you up with a loud yell, startling you right back into Sorbet’s arms.

The look on your face is priceless to them. Perhaps doing this was worthwhile, just to see you squirm. Although they’ll just as quickly leave to confuse you even more (don’t expect them to forget about it, though...), they’re willing to stay and entertain you for a while longer. If you miss the mission, so what? It’s your fault for staying in bed with them.

[wann-der-lusst]

Survived in the darkness of the tunnel

by Chabelita Alvarado

I woke up in the morning with the alarm clock. I quickly made a way in the hall to the bathroom. I did my usual routine in the morning and got ready to go to school.

I walked downstairs to eat a quick breakfast with mom and dad. Smiling to myself and munching on the last piece of bacon. I made a way down the sidewalk, the cold air stinging my cheeks, and towards the subway.

I was halfway through my walk to the subway station when my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I pulled out my phone, I saw a chat on messenger that came from my annoying best friend.

My best friend, Jane, just told me through chat that Wade Rivas was single. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. That's what she had to tell me?! As if I care.

Well, if there was one thing Jane would wake up this early for, it would be Wade Rivas. Tunasan High School's very own stereotypical badass who just happened to have every female in the school drooling at his feet, and unfortunately that included my best friend. I pity for Jane, poor thing.

I just chatted that "let's see each other at school and spill me the tea".

I slipped my phone back into my pocket smiling at my idiotic excuse for a best friend and looked up to see that I was at the subway station.

Sighing I found myself a seat towards the back as far away from everyone else as possible. I hated when I went out in public and the public was actually there.

It was only after I had sat down and was about to pull out my pair of headphones ready to expertly ignore everyone, that I realized who was sitting right across from me looking like someone had definitely had a bad day.

Sitting there, arms crossed, and dressed in a black hoodie and jeans, was none other than Wade Rivas.

I didn't realize I was staring at him that long until a pair of green eyes met mine, followed by the harshest glare I've received.

Embarrassed, I quickly averted my eyes and turned back to my phone and headphones. My embarrassment turned into curiosity though. Why was he riding the subway? The last time I checked he had a car.

I put my headphones in and played a song of All About You by Taeyeon. I tried to feed my wandering thoughts, and prepare for the thirty-minute ride.

I once glanced over at Wade. He was still staring at me. Although this time that confused expression was no longer on his face. Instead, it was replaced by an amused one.

I didn't buy to talk to him. We've been going to the same school for just about four years, and in all that Wade and I had never crossed paths.

To kill and waste some time, I approached him. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Weren't you just staring at me?" he said. Hmm. His voice, it made sense that many girls admire him.

"I'm not staring, I'm… just… not blinking." I protested.

He shook his head and fixed those eyes on me again.

"Then why were you 'not blinking' at me?

"Why do you care? You used to be girls staring at you." I said. Okay, I admitted that I am quite attractive to him.

"Of course I'm used to girls staring at me. I'm asking why you're staring at me. You don't even throw me a glance at school." Wade said.

That caught me off guard. I was an average girl in the school. So, he knew who I was? I had to remind myself that I didn't care whether he noticed me or not.

"I was just curious." I said bringing myself from my thoughts.

"About?" he prompted.

"Why are you here? Riding the subway I mean. Don't you have a car?"

"That's none of your business." He snapped as he turned to look in the other direction. Woah, a sudden change of his mood. I can't bear him, god.

Aha! He wasn't in a good mood because of his ex. Now I know. I decided to take pity on him. "I'm sorry, I just heard about your, uhm, break up?" I said with sympathy.

"What are you doing Chayo? Why are you trying to be nice?" he said.

Now that really shocked me. I wasn't pretending! It wasn't like I was a mean person. I was nice all the time. Or at least I thought I was. Second thing, I'm shocked he knew my name. We were not uttering a single word to each other through high school and this our first time to casually talk.

"What do you mean, why am I trying to be nice?" I asked, a little offended.

"I mean we haven't said so much as one word to each other throughout high school. Why are you talking to me now? Let alone trying to be nice to me? If I'm not wrong, I was under the impression that you couldn't stand me. If it's just cause you feel for me, don't." he said while completely facing me.

My mouth actually dropped open. What kind of reputation was going around about me?

"It's not that I can't stand you. It's just that I wasn't about to drool at your feet just so I could get a chance to talk to you". I said.

Wade was silent for a moment as he seemed to think this over.

"I don't know why I'm even telling you this, but as crazy as it sounds Amber was the first girl I was really serious about. I mean there was a girl before that but that had about a snowball's chance in hell of happening."

"What? There was a girl that The Wade Rivas didn't have a chance with? I need to meet her and shake her hand." I said, teasing him about that.

First time, we talked like a friend. We'd finally talked and on a subway of all places, kinda strange. However, we were comfortable with each other.

Our conversation interrupted when the subway train suddenly came to stop. The awkward and embarrassing filling caused my body sway to the left and body bumped into Wade's and seeing as my hands were currently shoved into my pockets, I couldn't brace myself for it. So, instead Wade ended up with his hands placed on my arms to keep me from toppling over face first into his lap.

My face heated up. It looked like a tomato.

My moment of embarrassment was changed in fear. Our light mood ended abruptly when the subway doors suddenly slid open and instead of passengers boarding, five masked and hooded figures made their way inside.

They were all wearing dark jeans and hoodies that concealed their faces. Each one carried a black duffle bag. Flirt out of the five figures silently made their way into the other cars leaving just one behind. The lone figure stood in the middle of the subway car and dropped the duffle bag with a loud thud, gaining the attention of all the other passengers.

Silently, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a black handgun.

Screams erupted all around me as everyone laid their eyes on the weapon. I sighed in fear, I couldn't believe that this was happening.

I felt the train begin to move again and I let my eyes wander to the left, trying to see through the window into the next car.

I observed all the passengers, they were all afraid. Screams were still ringing out around me and I had to suppress the urge to yell for everybody to shut up.

A gunshot rang throughout the small space causing me to almost jump out of my seat. My ears were ringing and when I looked up to the figure holding the gun in the air with their index finger wrapped around the trigger.

Everyone was silent now.

"Now that I have your attention I'd like to properly introduce myself." The figure pulled off the hood that had been covering their head and face, revealing a creepy flesh colored mask with holes cut out for the eyes and mouth and a shaggy mess of short greasy black hair on top of his head. When he spoke his voice was muffled by the mask but nonetheless I could still hear that it was deep and rough, like a smoker's voice.

"You can call me Rad." He continued.

I frowned at that. What kind of a criminal introduces themselves to their victims? I mean I doubted that if I made it out of this alive and went to the police that they'd have someone named Rad in the system, but still.

"Now first thing first, we need to get a few things straight. Any of you scream again, you die. Simple as that, understand?" He warned.

When no one answered, he shot the gun into the air again causing everyone to jump but no one screamed.

"I guess you all understand. This ride will go by a lot more smoothly if you all just cooperate." He added.

No one dared move suspicious. Wade and I kept our mouth to not say anything for our safety. Rad walked back and forth in the small confined space of the train car, switching the gun from his right hand, to his left, and then back again.

I wondered what he was doing exactly. If he was here to blow people's heads off then why wasn't he? I hated the fact that we were waiting here not knowing what would happen next. As if he could sense my impatience with him, Rad spun around and glared at me through his mask. Or at least I thought he was glaring at me, but I couldn't really tell with the mask on.

"You." Rad said pointing the gun at me.

I froze and clenched my hands into tight fists as I stared wide eyed, not at Rad, but at the barrel of the gun.

"What's your name?" Rad asked.

"Chayo." I said quietly.

"Chayo...Why don't you go ahead and stand up Chayo." Rad said kindly. I hated it when he say my name. I gave an involuntary shudder.

I was about to force myself to stand, even if it was against my better judgement, when I felt Wade grip my left hand, keeping me in my seat.

I glanced at Wade and gave him a questioning look.

"Why do you want her to stand?" Wade asked while narrowing his eyes.

I wanted to slap my hand over Wade's big mouth.

"I thought we already went through this. You don't speak… Unless. You're. Spoken. To." Rad ground out the last words slowly, and I doubted he would remind Wade.

"Wade please…" I begged quietly. I stood up even though I highly doubted it. "Obviously your girlfriend has more sense than you." Rad said while tilting his head to the side.

I almost opened my mouth to tell him that Wade was not my boyfriend, but I kept it shut. I wanted to live.

I slowly walked up to Rad and stood there, waiting.

Then I waited for more than two minutes. He said nothing, did nothing, just stood there staring at me. I couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. He was making me anxious and when I became anxious I also got a really bad case of word vomit.

"Are we just going to stand here and stare at each other?"

After I regretted what I just said, my eyes instantly darted down to Rad's clenched fits and before I could look back at his masked face, I felt his hand connect with my jaw, hard.

The force of his punch made me bite down on my tongue as I stumbled back from the impact, my hand covering my jaw. The train car seemed like it was suddenly bathed in bright white lights, and I reached my free hand out to try and find something to steady myself. I could taste something metallic and salty which I knew had to be my own hold.

Wade approached me and gave an angered face to Rad.

"Well, aren't you two sweet? Trying to protect each other like that." Rad gave a dark chuckle before he jerked his head to the door leading into the next car.

"Move it, both of you, Now!" He ordered.

Still clutching the left side of my face I stumbled my way toward the door with Wade right behind me, one hand on my lower back and other on my arm, whether it was to keep me from falling flat on my face or just there to comfort me, I didn't know. All I was focused on was the pain which seemed to be everywhere in my face.

As Rad pushed us forward I wondered exactly what we'd gotten ourselves into. We'd continue to walk through the next two train cars.

Wade and I got shocked from what we witnessed in the next train car. The image of the knife swiping across the old man's neck and the gushing blood, was imprinted in my brain.

"Grandpa!" the little girl wailed and a chorus of horrified screams followed. She hopped out of her seat and ran to her grandpa before she sank to her knees next to him, his blood seeping into her white tights.

I stared, unable to move or breathe. I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth hard and bit down, trying to keep myself from throwing up.

I heard Rad chuckle darkly behind me before he began shoving at our backs again. When we had reached the front of the train where it was operated. Rad opened the door and I had to bite back a scream.

There on the floor was the conductor with a bullet bole i. the center of his head. I couldn't take much more of this.

Rad lifted the man up like he was nothing more than a rag doll and threw him out of the compartment where he landed with a loud thud, pointing the gun back at me and Wade.

"Get in." Rad ordered.

I walked inside slowly and my nose instantly wrinkled at the smell of blood. I looked ahead, out the front window of the train, as we sped past flickering light bulbs in the tunnel. I wondered where we were headed now.

Wade walked in behind me and I saw his face scrunch up as the smell of blood invaded his nose too.

"I'll be back to deal with you two later."

That was all Rad said before he closed us in and made his way back towards the back of the train.

As soon as the door closed, I pressed my back against the wall before I slid to the ground and pulled my knees to my chest.

This couldn't be happening.

Wade knelt down in front of me with his arms on his knees, and he stared at me intently.

"He just killed him." I whispered, shaking my head. "He didn't even flinch. He just slit his throat. Right in front of his granddaughter!" My voice rose and I think I was starting to hyperventilate. I was taking in quick shallow breaths and I started rocking back and front.

"Oh God, we're going to die. We're going to die." I was seriously starting to panic now. What would my parents do once they found out that I had been chopped up into a thousand little bite sized Chayo pieces? Then there was Jane. She'd probably take it worse.

Wade snapped his fingers in front of my face and broke me from my horrid thoughts.

He placed both of his hands on my knees and spoke very slowly, "We're not going to die. Okay?"

I looked back up at Wade and nodded slowly.

"Promise me then. Promise me that we won't die down here. Not like this." I said as I felt unexpected tears fill my eyes.

I didn't want to die. Not here. Not like this.

I watched him with a frown as he reached out and wiped a strat tear from my cheek before letting his warm hand rest there.

I didn't push his hand away like I told myself to. Instead, I welcome it, enjoying the brief comfort his touch brought me. I could use it right now.

"I promise." he said quietly.

I could only hope that he kept his promise.

I'm not sure how long I sat there. My imagination was running wild the longer we sat there. I imagined it might happen but my horrible thoughts scattered when the subway lurched and rumbled against the tracks.

"We're slowing down." Wade said.

The sound of the door sliding open behind us made me tear my gaze from the window and Rad who was standing in the doorway, his flesh colored mask and gaping black eye holes staring at me. A shiver ran down my spine.

Rad ordered us to follow him.

As we made our way through the subway cars I noticed that they were now all empty. I wanted to ask where everybody was but I was afraid of the answer I might get. So, I kept my mouth shut this time and kept moving.

We were on the last train car, Rad pushed us toward the exit doors which were already open.

We stepped out onto the old platform and my earlier question was instantly answered. All the people who had occupied the subway cars were now on the platform, all on their knees with their hands tied behind their backs with zip ties, set up in a line.

The one wearing a Jason Vorhees hockey mask stepped forward and tied our hands in our back. Jason Mask pushes us forward at the end of the line of subway passengers, where we got down on our knees and joined them.

"Now that you're all here, the real fun can!" Rad began with a clap.

A whimper and a sniffle came from my right and I glanced down the line of people and my eyes landed down on the same little girl from before. The little girl whose grandpa had been murdered right in front of her.

She was crying. I made myself a promise that I'll protect her.

I watched in silence as Rad and his band of masked began untying people and ushering them down onto the tracks of the

subway.

"Now this is how this is going to go," Rad began as he paced back and forth in front of the abandoned tracks. "The tracks from here on out are abandoned and farther down they break off into a bunch of unused subway tunnels. That's where you all are headed." He added.

"We're going to be playing a little game of hide and seek if you'd like to think of it that way. There's only one exit in one of these tunnels that leads up and out of the subway station but finding it will be like finding a needle in a haystack. If by some miracle though, you do happen to find this exit then you're home free... but if you don't," I could practically hear the smile in his voice. "And we get to you first then... well I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise now would I?"

Wade and I joined the group of passengers after the mask man untied the knots.

"You get two minutes, Two minutes and then the chase begins and you better hope like hell that we don't catch you" Rad warned everybody

"Why are you doing this?' A male voice demanded and that was Wade.

"I'm doing this to prove a point." Rad stated simply.

"What point?" Skater boy demanded.

"That I'm free to do whatever I please. You all live in this world thinking that you're safe, that you're protected. Well, you're not. Do you see anybody down here that'll give you as second glance if it means risking themselves?" Rad shook his head when the skater boy didn't respond.

"So, whoever is gonna survive through this game. Deliver the message to your pathetic police When they find all your dead bodies they'll see what a complete failure this entire system is." Rad added.

Rad glanced down at a watch that sat perched on his wrist.

"You have one minute and fifty-nine seconds" Rad said

As a cue, all the passengers started to run. I tried to scan the crowd for the little girl but people bumped into me and elbowed their way past trying to sprint ahead.

We kept running.

My legs were arching, my lungs were burning, and my head was spinning, all while I was running for my life.

As we continued running, my heart hammered furiously in my chest, and it felt like I was going to puke acid really soon.

I started slowing down and eventually I just stopped. I bent over with my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath.

Wade approached me and tried to motivate me to keep going. However, we heard an ear splitting scream echo down the tunnel. I turned to our back. I'm sure the group of masked men started to sue us.

Wade gently helped to keep half-running. I ignored the pain. We've reached the end of the track, we came to the tunnels that Rad had mentioned earlier. It was seven that all led off into different directions.

Wade and I agreed to pick the seventh tunnel. When we were inside, there were no lightbulbs, we couldn't see anything other than a pitch black.

We walked faster and carefully felt our tracks. My hands touched the wall of the tunnel and continued to walk.

Leading the track, Wade checked his phone but no signal to call police. However, we could use that as a flashlight.

Unluckily, the ground seemed to change, and I found myself free falling into the darkness. Wade yelled my name. My body smacked against the concrete. I cried out as bolts of searing hot pain jolted through every inch of my body. Tears filled my eyes instantly and spilled over as the pain took over. There was a horrible throbbing pain in the back of my head and an awful burning and ripping sensation in my side.

I heard the faint shuffling of footsteps and suddenly a bright light was shining in my water filled eyes.

"Shit!" I heard Wade's horrified whisper.

I couldn't even speak cause everything was hurt. Wade knelt down next to me. He sat his phone next to him letting the light create a small pool of illumination around us.

Wade said that he was going to help me. He began to lift the hem of my shirt. He slowly moved his hand upward until it rested just below my rib cage. And I felt an extreme amount of pressure on my ribs. There was an audible pop but I could barely hear it over the ear piercing scream that

was coming from my mouth. That was a great help, it had lessened considerably the pain before. A sheen of sweat covered my forehead as I breathed in and out rapidly.

Wade called my name with a worried and concerned face.

"I'm… still.. okay" I said through pants of breath. I blacked out.

I woke up cuddling with Wade. I'm literally surprised because I thought it was one of the psycho mask man. I could still feel the pain in my side. Wade told me that I was fell in manhole. One of my rib was dislocated.

"I'm grateful that you stuck around and helped me. It means a lot that you'd do that for me… and… and I'm sorry."

I jerked back a little when Wade whipped his head back so he could look at me, his eyes shining in the dim light of his cellphone.

I swallowed nervously and stared back at him, waiting for some kind of response. I froze when he reached up and pushed a damp piece of my hair behind my ear. My heart just about exploded when he let his hand linger on my face.

Didn't he know that there were people after us? Shouldn't we be running for our lives now?

I was ready to raise to slap his face when he got close enough to kiss me, but an ear splitting scream rang through the tunnel.

That scream scared me half to death in a panic, I jumped and slammed my head against Wade's.

I groaned in pain while rubbing my forehead and said to Wade that he had a hard head. Wade said that my head was exactly soft, teasing me.

"Did you hear that scream? Somebody could be in trouble." I said.

Wade just coughed and sounded like he was struggling to contain his laughter.

"Have you lost your mind? Those masked freaks could get to whoever that was and they could be headed this way right now." Wade explained.

I ignored his statement and tried to get up from sitting into his lap but he pushed me back to his.

"Please, Wade, I want to know who it was. Because it could be that little girl. She can't make it down here by herself. Hell, we can barely make it, so just imagine how she's doing. I have to find her Wade, so please don't try to stop me" I said.

Wade stared at me for seconds and stood up and then gently helped me to my feet. He grabbed my hand, shooking his head before he said "Let's go then, Wonder Woman."

Along our way, Wade and I talked nonsense. I've just realized that it was a mistake to find this little girl or who it was that did the screaming.

We've reached the end of the tunnel, but there was a large cavernous room. It was made of the same gray stone as the rest of the tunnels down here and jagged pieces of rock and pipe jutted up from the floor and hung from the ceiling. There were a few pale yellow flickering lanterns that cast an eerie glow across the large room, which meant someone had been here recently. Looking around, the room was empty.

"There's nobody here Chayo, we should head back and try and find our way out of here while we still can." Wade's voice rang out in an echo arout the vast room.

When I was to turn back to face Wade, the same shrill scream from earlier ran out behind me.

A black boots began to step forward, revealing black jeans and then a black hoodie before finally revealing a sheep masked figure.

"You two are just too easy." Sheep Mask drawled out, his voice slightly muffled by the mask.

I couldn't believe that we were fooled by this man. The scream that we heard was just recorded. The sheep mask currently holds the device where the scream came from and he pressed the button again to play the scream sound.

The Sheep Mask reached into the waistband of his dark jeans and pulled out a black handgun. The Sheep Mask pointed the gun to Wade but to my suprise, Wade was on top of him. Both of them struggled to gain control of the gun.

When the Sheep Mask started angling the gun towards Wade's chest, I rushed forward and brought my foot down as hard as I could on Sheep Mask's face.

Wade didn't wait for any second as the gun was on his hand. The Sheep Mask tried to scare them that we were going to die soon when Rad reached them. I faintly heard a loud crack and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Wade ram the butt of the gun into the side of Sheep Mask's face, then he shot the gun toward the head of the masked man.

Wade came to me and brought my head to his chest.

"We're not going to die here, Chayo. Do you understand? We're getting out of here," he promised. I hold on that promise.

I can't believe that we just killed the Sheep Mask man. I'm so mad to myself that we had to do that.

We've continued to search the exit. Wade leads the way, but his navigating skills sucks. When I led our way, it turns out that any navigating skills sucked a lot more than Wade's did. I ended up leading us right back to the spot where we started.

Apparently, Wade and I saw the same flurry of pink darts across the tunnel and into another one. I'm sure that was the little girl with the pink shirt that we tried to look for before.

We were not really sure but we decided to follow the girl from where the tunnel she ran through.

In turn of the event, someone grabbed me from the right. I saw Wade also dragged by another mask man. The piggy mask figure man that was covering my mouth by his hand, led me from somewhere. I was parted away from Wade. The last scene of him was fighting with the other mask man.

The Piggy Mask lifted his left foot and kicked open an old door that read "Employees Only".

The room looked like a place where electricians or repairmen would frequent with all the machinery inside.

The Piggy Mark man removed his mask as soon as he closed the door. It was Rad, the leader of the psycho mask group.

He grabbed my hair to go to another destination. There was a series of many lefts and rights before we finally came to his destination.

We went to another room. It was large and full of pipes in the ceiling. In the center of the room stood four, large, curved, gray pipes that jutted out from the floor and were pointed to the right wall.

There were three people handcuffed for those pipes. The strange man was handcuffed to the first one. The second one was the skater boy. The third one was the little girl that we've been looking for.

And for the fourth pipe, Rad cuffed me from the last pipe.

"W-why are you doing this?" I asked between my sobs.

"I already told you. The system already failed me once and now they're going to fail you. This is all to prove a point." Rad simply said. With that, he disappeared back down from the tunnel.

As soon as Rad was out of sight I slumped against the pipe before sliding to the ground. Anything I did was a failure to escape. I just dropped my head and think that this was how I'm going to die.

The first man in the pipe turned into red, burned, bloody and raw. The skin skin looked like it had been seared completely off and I could see the white of their bones poking out.

The skater boy started to scream, asking for help. The little girl started to cry and I had no idea what to do to comfort her.

I've heard a voice. "Chayo?!" Wade yelled out from somewhere. My head whipped up at the sound of his voice and directly look at his eyes.

He ran forward and bent down to hug her.

"How did you-,"

"You don't know how I fight that masked man but I'm relieved that I found you." Wade said.

"But I'm going to die here. The pipes. They shoot out hot steam and the man just got a face full of it." I explained.

Wade looked at the first pipe, his eyes widened and urged to fight to not throw up something.

Wade immediately pulled a trigger of his gum that pointed to her handcuffs but nothing happened.

Wade found two bobby pins into the hair of the little girl. He borrowed it from the girl and promised to help her.

I suggested to Wade to help first the skater boy and the little girl before me. Wade argued about it but he still did it. When Wade successfully unlocked the handcuffs to the skater boy, the skater boy moved forward to also help unlock the handcuffs on the little girl. Wade finished to get rid of the handcuffs to me before the steam of the pipes burned her.

We were successfully all safe, as of now.

The four of us continued to find the exit of this tunnel. Upon walking, we've talked in some conversations but stay alert. The skater boy named Dylan and the little girl named Rose.

Our conversation was long. Until Rose pointed ahead of her. She was pointing at the end of the tunnel and my blood ran cold.

Standing at the end of the tunnel, completely silent and staring at us, was the man in the Jason Mask.

Jason Mask aggressively started running towards us. As an instinct, Wade held my hands and we started to run to the tunnel on our right. Dylan and Rose followed us. There were a bunch of lefts and rights before we reached the two tunnels.

We agreed to part away in two groups. Dylan and Rose went to the left tunnel and Me and Wade ran through the right tunnel.

Me and Wade never stopped to run even though I've being clumsy for how many times I fall on my feet.

Wade stopped, he pushed me against the wall of the tunnel that didn't reach the dim light of the tunnel. I wondered what's going on in his mind but it made sense when I heard booming footsteps and a few seconds later I watched with wide eyes as Jason Mask went thundering past us and continued down the tunnel.

When I'm sure he was gone, I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

For a minute, we stayed there and had some rest. But I saw Rose had just come into view and even from here I could see red stained in her pink shirt.

Wade and I hurriedly approached Rose. I asked if she was hurt. But she said with tears that the blood stain came from Dylan.

Rose led the way where Dylan was. There was no way Rose should have been able to know the way back. She made way too many turns for her to have memorized it only going through it once. I stopped walking, Wade and I shared a look and thought the same thing.

With that, Rad suddenly came into view and Rose ran to him.

"Did I do good Daddy?" Rose asked.

"You did great sweetheart. Daddy is so proud of you." Rad said. Rose smiled proudly.

Rad pointed a gun on me. He ordered me to walk. We were now on one of the train car. Rad demanded Wade to hold out his hands. Rad handcuffed Wade's hands in one of the metal standing poles. Rad got the gun from Wade's pocket.

And by that, Rad left us after he locked the door of the train car.

I went to Rad's place.

"I'm sorry, I broke my promise to you," Wade said.

"You don't have to say sorry, maybe this is our fate." I said in my tears.

Wade asked to come closer with him. I went closer enough but he demanded to stand between his arms and the pole. I just didn't argue with that with the small place he was asking me to stand.

I stepped forward before ducking under one of his arms and I was now officially enclosed to him. I looked at him when he called my name with an intense expression.

"It was you. Even before Amber. I know this is not the right timing because we're almost likely dead anyway but I needed you to know."

I didn't know what response I should do, but I passionately kissed him. He kissed me back.

We stopped kissing when all of the sudden the doors that connected opened, I can see on the front train that the subway train was on fire. And the flames were quickly making their way towards us.

I could already smell the smoke. I ran back to the exit door and began pushing, pulling, and even banging on the door. Nothing worked.

Wade suggested kicking on the exit window. We kicked the window twice and it cracked. For the fifth time we kicked the window, it finally broke.

Wade told me that there was a left pin in his pocket. I get it used to get rid of the handcuff to his hands. It took more time and the smoke was already burning our lungs. Finally, the handcuff was unlocked. Wade took off his hoodie jacket and placed it around his left hand. He broke some left pieces of glass in the window.

He was the first one to climb out in the window before me. Wade helped me up. When I was on my feet I looked up at the burning subway train and watched as the flames of the fire completely engulfed it.

We saw Rad and his little girl at the top of the platform looking on the subway train to burn into ashes. Rad didn't see from where we were, I'm sure he thought that we were dead on that train.

So I made a plan to eliminate that freaking psycho.

__

I appeared from where Rad was standing.

"You bastard! You killed him!' I screamed as I slammed my body into Rad's and forced me to cry.

Rad was shocked that I was still alive. But he grabbed me roughly by my wrists and squeezed them tightly.

Okay, this was not part of my plan, I hope he didn't think to kill me now.

Turning back to my acting, I yelled to him like he really killed Wade. He just darkly chuckled about it.

As part of the plan, Rad never got to finish what he was about to say because a shard of glass was pushed straight into the center of his back.

Rad let me go. Rad was about again to speak but Wade stabbed again into his chest.

Rad had died. I hugged Wade as finally we are safe now. Wade took the kicking Rose and threw her into his shoulder. Wade and I slowly move forward to find the exit.

With the help of the light in Wade's cellphone, it was enough to see our way. As I was the one who's holding the cellphone, I saw in the darkness a set of stairs and swallowed hard before turning back to face Wade and nodded slowly.

We saw a light on the wood that was blocking our way. We kicked the light wood on how many times before we succeeded to pull off the wood.

Through the small hole, I could see the city lights that brought me into tears. The stars in the sky let me know that it was night.

We've carefully made a way through the hole. When I stood up and took a deep breath, it felt like it had been forever since I had breathed in fresh air.

There were a lot of old and abandoned buildings around that were boarded up just like the subway entrance had been.

We had planned to surrender and tell the police about Rose's case. She could still be changed with the help of DSWD.

Wade called an emergency call to 911. Wade and I shared a smile. I slowly kissed him.

We sat on the abandoned street and waited for the police to come and rescue us.

[infinitethree]

Dazzzz what are some of your favorite songs???

There’s no indication that Daz heard the question at first. He’s not in the Council rooms, though the room seems to be made of blackstone and obsidian all the same. It’s got cobble, oak planks, and oak logs covering the majority of it, but it’s pretty clear that this is some sort of bunker or safe room. That fact is most obvious by Daz not seeming to feel the need to pretend to be the chatty, bubbly person he had on his first appearance.

Instead his expression is blank to a rather creepy degree and he has a hand of cards. Seated around a table with him are the rest of the Council, who all have poker faces of their own. That’s fitting, because they seem to be playing said game—and by the looks of things, Daz has been winning. Not by much—the rest of them have decently sized piles, too. The smallest of them belongs to Aleph.

There’s only a slight raise of Raine’s eyebrows when he feels the strange sensation of the Observers starting to watch them. “I guess we all get to hear all of the questions directed at any Council member,” he says, earning a soft hum of agreement from Khons. It sounds a little odd because he has his mask on, which feels just a tiny bit like cheating. Then again, he was squarely in the middle as far as winnings went.

“Music,” Daz starts, expression still eerily blank, “Is...a bit weird, for me. If you know about me then you already know I don’t really care about Cat or Mellohi. Those are...relics. Relics of a life I’ve discarded twice over. No, now the music I like is more...mmm. It’s less specific songs and more a specific artist. Orpheus does wonderful work and has become a good friend because of my interest in his music. Not quite as much so as these chucklefucks--” he gestures at the rest of the Council, earning a soft scoff from Raine and a middle finger from Aster, “but moreso than most others. I don’t like them all equally and I don’t like all of them...but overall, I enjoy most of his original pieces and his covers. There’s a flair to them that clicks with me, especially now that I know a decent amount about what his influences are.”

“Make your move. Some of us have places to be.” Khons’ request is quiet, but still heard plenty well enough. Daz grins slightly at it. He gathers his cards and tosses them in the middle. “Fine, fine. I’m folding. Happy?” “Very. Feel free to continue waxing poetic about music,” Khons replies, sounding slightly amused.

“I planned on it. So, while Orph is unquestionably my favorite artist...I’m in the very unique position of having access to a massive library drawing from several realities. I have a bit of an eclectic taste and what I feel a draw to listen to depends on my mood,” Daz continues.

Raine rolls his eyes a little. “I know when he’s brooding because he puts on what I can best describe as opera but metal. It’s his brooding music. I fold too, by the way.” He pushes his own cards forward and then leans back a little. He gets shot a glare by Daz, who sounds indignant. “Go to hell, Raine, I do not brood.” “You definitely do, actually--” Aleph’s answer is cut off by Daz barreling on like he said nothing, “I plot. If someone pissed me off, they will regret that.”

It seems like Raine is enjoying this, if nothing else, because he continues, “I know when something good happened because he puts on pop music--” “Why are you telling them this?!” “--Spite and having fun seeing you show emotions. His sulking music is that sort of rock-alt emo stuff. Then you have the really bouncy stuff with a solid beat—that’s what he puts on when he goes and actually trains. He insists it helps him focus. I’m pretty sure it’s more that he enjoys seeing us be baffled as to what new song he put on the playlist.”

“I raise. Gotta admit,” Aster says, ignoring the righteous fury Daz is directing at Raine, “it does throw you off your game when it switches from an angry breakup song to something about going out to party and getting laid. It’s the worst kind of gamble because there’s no way to win. There are only degrees of losing. Much like anything with Daz--” “Why are you all being assholes?! I’ve done nothing to deserve this treatment--” The protest is met by four loud laughs.

“If you’re going to lie to the Observers,” Khons gasps between wheezes, “at least do it believably!” “You’re all horrible co-workers and I regret gathering you all together,” Daz scoffs, though he doesn’t really seem all that pissed off. More annoyed than anything else.

“Raise. You’re popular today,” Aleph says, that usual Techno monotone holding just a bit of amusement. Daz makes a face, though seems a little displeased by the question. “Dual daggers. We all have armor and weapons from Dee, though we’re not unique in that. There are a decent amount of people who are close with his family who he’s made stuff for. Armor is rarer than weapons because...what was the reason again, Raine?”

“His perfectionist tendencies. If he’s going to do it he’s going to do it right. There’s a lot that goes into making armor perfect for a person—at least, armor that’s been smithed rather than crafted. Weapons are easier, though he doesn’t do those that much more,” Raine answers. Daz leans back in his seat, watching the rest of the table like a hawk. “My style is fast. My favorite game...mm. Again, that depends on my mood. I have a lot of them that I like.” His attention flicks over to Khons, who pushes his cards inwards. “Fold. I’m the one he usually plays those games against. It’s fun, even if he’s insufferable when he wins.”

“You’re just as much so,” Daz says with a shrug. “Call. Also, nah. It’s just satisfying to see you get beat at your own game,” Aleph retorts. Aster sighs as he flips his cards over. “You probably win this one,” he mutters, looking unsurprised when he does, indeed, lose the hand.

Aleph smiles as he pulls the pot to his pile. He’s ahead of Daz now, though that doesn’t seem to bother him much. He rolls his eyes a little as he tells Aleph, “You would excuse anything Khons did. He could kick a three legged puppy and you’d say that the puppy probably deserved it.”

“Well,” the Techno says, eyebrows raising a tiny bit, “considering he’d never normally do that...he would have an explanation.” Khons laughs softly, bumping his shoulder. With a scoff Daz retorts, “That’s my point. He can do no wrong in your eyes—” Aleph cuts him off, eyebrows raising a bit more. “And for good reason. He knows me and I know him. Even if he didn’t have one, I’d still stand by him.”

Khons, despite his mask, is visibly pleased. He leans some of his weight against his friend and says, “Same here. He’s my person. I trust him more than anyone else, including myself.”

The rest of the table bursts into laughter that only grows louder at Daz’s clear confusion. “What the actual fuck are you talking about.” It’s not really a question, more just a statement of bafflement and quite possibly wondering if the asker is sane or not.

“But Daz,” Aster gasps between laughs, “do you have one?” Daz makes a noise of frustration as he says, “I don’t know! What the fuck is an ant brush?!” “Clearly something important,” Raine wheezes out, slumped over on the table from how hard he’s laughing. He manages to compose himself long enough to say, “Oh, that’s—thank you, whichever one of you asked that! He’s going to spend days staring at everything that might possibly be called a brush and wondering if that’s an ant brush. This is the best gift you could have given me.”

Daz glares at him, arms folding over his chest unhappily. “I’m feeling targeted. The rest of you answer the next ones too, or else--”

The threat is cut off by the question, and Daz grins. “I demand everyone else answer first.” “’Leph for both,” Khons says instantly, getting a nod from Aleph. “Moony for me, also both.” “We all get along pretty well—the occasional petty bickering aside,” Aster starts, “But...Raine for talking to, but working with really depends on the task. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.” “I’m close with Aster and Daz, though Khons and Aleph are good friends too. We all have things we do together outside of Council-related work. Partly so that Daz doesn’t lose his mind from the stress of keeping up his batshit web of lies and manipulation.”

“It's not as bad as you’d think,” Daz says, tilting his chair back a little, “it’s fun to keep it up. People are puzzles and talking to them is a game.” This is met by amusement from the rest of them. Aster grins a little and says, “That’s our borderline sociopathic jackass for you. Alright, we answered, your turn.”

Daz makes a soft noise of thought, visibly thinking. “...I get along, for a given value of such, with all of them. Aster the least so, because he’s a prick sometimes--” he pointedly ignores the middle finger he’s given by said alternate version of himself, “--then probably Aleph, then Khons, then Raine. Despite his prick tendencies, Aster is right—working with really depends on the task. For instance, I wouldn’t want Raine to be at my side if I’m trying to beat a problem best solved by brute force. If I need something done without drawing too much attention, Aster is a shit choice—too much focus is on him wherever he goes because of the perception and vague role he has as the public head of the Swords and Shields.”

The rest of them seem entirely unsurprised by the response. Daz gives a slightly sharp grin and adds, “I could rattle off cases where each of them is the best to work with, but why would I go and do that?”

All the good humor among the group vanishes in an instant, especially from the two who were asked the question. Daz turns icy, while Aster has a familiar spark of Tommy anger in his eyes. Even Raine looks pissed.

The ones who look least distressed are Khons and Aleph. It’s not that they’re without anger, it’s more that they have a carefully detached way of showing it. Aleph slowly says, “...We weren’t paying attention to their identities. They didn’t and don’t matter.” Khons says nothing, but there’s a tiny shiver that makes Aleph press against his side protectively.

There’s an edge of dark anger to the frigid tone Daz has. “Leave. You’ll get no more answers, not while you’ve made them feel unsafe.”

Whatever subject was touched on is clearly still raw, and the defensiveness from the rest of them underscores the point that was made—that they’re close, despite any disagreements or bickering. It also underscores that Daz is more than willing to find and use loopholes left in the deal he made.

That could go both ways, though. It’s not out of the question that there are loopholes that favor Observers that could be used in the same way.

Still—there’s nothing else to learn here, not while they remain this angry.

[nocluewhatsupg]

Headcanons on Jason? I really want to ask more about Asa, but i don't want you to become Asa only blog, so ye, hc for big Jason boy?

* becomes an asa only blog out of spite *

These will be actual hcs instead of shitting on the movie because we haven’t watched it in forever haha

Jason Voorhees HCs

While he patrols the entire lake, he’s deathly protective of his camp. Chilling around the lake might allow you to live, but the second you even think about entering the camp, he knows, and he’s coming to stuff you in a sleeping bag and roast you over a fire.

Jason doesn’t actually do anything. He vibes, but that’s about it. There’s absolutely nothing even remotely human left in him.

Him and Michael are the unholy duo of having absolutely no fucking personality

Might spare children, but he definitely is unaware that he’s an 8ft slab of meat, and might be afraid.

Since his mother controls him, she might not spare the child, since it was children that pushed her poor baby boy into the water. She’s pure vengeance and anger, blinded easily by fury.

Lowkey into building things. The things he builds sucks, but he tries his best with whatever he can find lying around the camp. Keeps the cabins kind of broken, however. He’s learnt that the creepiness tends to keep people away. If there’s a crack or leak causing too much damage, he’ll begrudgingly try to fix it.

Being a zombie and half dead or whatnot he has little hand eye coordination without his mother helping, and she doesn’t care about the state of the camp.

Jason collects things. Being a cool rock he found by the edge of the lake, wet and smoothed by a life underwater, or something left behind by trespassers. Really whatever he could find and put in his pocket without his mother noticing.

Sometimes forgets there’s things in his pocket, or they fall out (his clothes aren’t in the best state). If he does forget about them, he’ll eventually rediscover the item when he shoves another in. Will spend a good few minutes observing the newfound trinket.

Keeps a small collection of trinkets outside his house, in a barrel he buried in the dirt. He dropped a dead tree on it too, making it near impossible for a human to touch his collection. Assuming the human could make it that far in Crystal Lake anyway.

His house is pretty shit. He’s got no need for shelter and safety from the elements, not anymore. Jason isn’t necessarily claustrophobic, but he does hate being indoors. Really, he hates being away from the outdoors, with his feet in the grass and inhaling fresh lake air. The very thought that he’s standing around twiddling his thumbs while someone could be trespassing without his knowledge rattles his bones and shakes his soul with pure anger.

Will, however, enter his s/o (or a close friend)’s house. It’s only for a moment, he reasons, and he’s curious. Jason’s life had mostly been deserted and abandoned camps, creaking doors and shattered windows. He’s fascinated with a living house, and it warmly reminds him of his Mother’s house. Will park himself in your foyer/living room/kitchen and stand there, one eye watching you while the other is closed in a memory.

You can pat him, if you like. If your mind can get over the overwhelming fear of the Crystal Lake killer staring down at you. He’s unsure what you’re trying to do, and it’ll be something you can only do after months, maybe even years of him warming to you.

When you do touch him, it’s the worst experience you thought you’d experience. His “skin” is clammy, moist even. It’s like touching a rock that Bubba draped one of his face masks on to dry. If you dig too deep, you might pull a nice chunk of his flesh off. Jason won’t mind, whatever hole you create he’ll patch with a leaf or a chunk of mud.

Not only do his pockets and skin have holes in them, but his organs too. When he breathes, it’s a rattling noise, wind pulled in and bouncing around his ribs. He doesn’t exhale co2, the oxygen coming in and out without change. Jason is able to hold little in his stomach for the same reason. Liquid is gone as soon as it enters, but he’s miraculously able to hold food as long as it doesn’t tumble into one of the several rotting cuts and back out. Stomach acid oozed from the slits, but he no longer feels the stinging as it dribbles down his intestines and eats away at the muscle surrounding it.

His heart, however, is in such good condition it’s uncanny. The muscle pumps without hesitation, without a single trace of age or wear the rest of him carries.

Will let you touch his organs. It doesn’t hurt him. Don’t shriek or make a face of disgust at them, or if an insect crawls out, shaken out of its warm home. He won’t understand the general human disgust to other human’s insides, and will assume you’re making fun of him. Might pull your organs out to show you yours is just like his

Don’t challenge him to anything extracurricular. He’s got strength and he can use it. Will use you as a weight if you ask him to.

[hood-ex]

if you're still taking prompts.. dick, kori, and vic in a creepy haunted house and you decide who's scared and how much, if there are real ghosts or not etc.

“Why did I think this would be fun?” Vic said to no one in particular. He continued walking forward into the darkness of the haunted house, leaving Dick and Kory to trail in his wake. “I have thermal sensors. I can literally see everything that moves in here.” He looked to his left. “Heads up. Creepy little goblin lady at eight o’clock.” 

“You know—” Dick started to say just as the goblin lady jumped out and screamed right by Dick’s ear. To his credit, Vic’s fearless leader didn’t even flinch. Dick just readjusted his fake glasses higher up on his nose and cleared his throat. “Ahem, as I was saying, you could just turn the sensors off.”

“I could,” Vic agreed, “but then I’d be way more likely to be killed off first since I’m black.”

He eyed the barrel they were passing, realizing there was someone hiding inside of it. This time he didn’t warn his friends about it and was rewarded by the sound of Kory cussing in Tamaranean.

“The black guy was the last one killed in Night of the Living Dead,” Dick pointed out, not sounding affected by the jump scare. 

“Yeah, but he still died,” Vic stressed. 

“Dick!” Kory interrupted excitedly. “Look! There’s a Deathstroke in here!”

Vic turned to see what she was talking about, and sure enough, there was someone dressed as Deathstroke peeking out from behind the wall, his black and orange mask glinting under the dim lights. He was even holding a rifle and pointing it straight at them. The man brought his hand up and waved at them in an eerily slow fashion.

Kory waved back.   

“Uh, Vic,” Dick said somewhat hesitantly, “that’s just some random guy in a costume, right?” 

Vic snorted, amused that the only thing in here that would make Dick nervous was the idea of Deathstroke ambushing them. “Yes, Short Pants, don’t worry. The big bad mercenary isn’t going to pop out and shoot your head off.”

“I sure hope not,” Dick said. “In this kind of place, people would just assume my body was one of the props.”

“Dick!” Kory scolded. Vic heard a sharp pop that most likely came from Kory smacking Dick’s shoulder. “Don’t be morbid!”

“Don’t be morbid?” Dick repeated in a dazed tone. “Honey, look where we are.”

“Yeah, Kory,” Vic laughed, “read the room.” 

Kory grumbled something in Tamaranean that didn’t sound very nice. Dick said something back to her in sharp Tamaranean tones. Oh boy, Vic thought as they started to argue back and forth, now this is 100% scarier than the haunted house.

He sighed and sidestepped a man with a chainsaw. He knew he should have gone with Gar instead. 

[anika-ann]

The Troubles Are Lurking in Queens - Pt.1

Of Arrogant Lawyers and Cheerful… Spider Vigilantes?

Pairing: Matt Murdock x reader        Word count: 1860 

Type: Two-shot, reader insert

Warnings: swearing, mention of attempted assault and a gun and a knife, pregnancy, adorable Peter Parker aka your friendly neighbour Spiderman

Summary: When an arrogant lawyer demands his paperwork right now or better yet this very moment, you’re a good wife to Matt and decide to deliver the documents yourself – for your husband’s mental health sake (and for the sake of the meeting he’s running to).

The catch is the said lawyer has his office in Queens – and whoever said Hell’s Kitchen was the least safe place in NYC was clearly lying. 

You were staring at barrel of a gun. And your first thought was: the universe is punishing me for falsifying legal documents.

It happened approximately like this:

“Mr. Davidson-” Matt murmured, massaging the bridge of his nose, giving up the struggle of tying up his tie with one hand. Though that might have had something to do with the fact you snatched the said hand away to do it for him.

“I understand you would like to have the-"

You couldn’t make out a word, but the male voice on the other end sounded downright outraged. This Mr. Davidson had been pissing you off for quite a while; he was the opposite counsel on one of Matt’s cases and he was making everything difficult in the line of paperwork, well-aware Matt was going to dismantle him. 

He. Was. Indescribably. Arrogant. Which was something you just couldn’t stand and it drove you up the wall.

“I just don’t have time right— no, I do not have a messenger boy on my disposal just to deliver the documents to you, you can be sure as-" You covered Matt’s mouth before he could swear, gaining a look as grateful as frustrated and wounded.

Oh yeah, you would love to even send this guy to hell and back just to kick him back down there, but Matt had a professional image to maintain. He inhaled deeply.

“Mr. Davidson, I’ll even deliver you the document myself-"

“With coffee and ‘go fuck yourself’…” you hummed as you finished the tie, causing the corners of Matt’s lips twitch.

“-but I just can’t do it before noon.”

Matt listened to the man’s raised voice for a while, grinding his teeth.

You felt really sorry for Matt. And what did a good wife do when feeling sorry for her husband? Helped him.

“I can deliver it.”

Matt shook his head, covering the phone. “I need to print it in non-braille version somewhere and sign it. I don’t have time for that-"

“I can sign it,” you shrugged. Matt’s eyebrow shot up. “What? I saw you sign stuff more times than I can count. It will be fine.”

“That’s a fraud.”

“It stays in a family. I’ll be signing by my own last name.”

Matt’s features softened at the note, but he didn’t change his mind. “That’s still a fraud, sweetheart.”

You pointed at the phone wordlessly; the man on the other end of the was so caught up in his monologue, enchanted by listening to the sound of his own voice, that he didn’t even notice no one was responding.

Matt pouted in an ‘okay, you have a point’ way. His eyebrow furrowed with concern – of course it did. He always worried about you, sometimes for a good reason, however, lately… ever since you two had found out you were going to be parents, a new life growing in your belly… well. Matt was anxious and downright paranoid.

“You would do it?”

“Sure. I could use a walk.” Oh, you could. You might be having a day off, but sitting on a couch all day might actually kill you.

“It’s in Queens.”

“...and a subway ride.”

He still seemed to struggle.

“-are you even listening to me?!”

And that did it. Matt cracked. “Of course, Mr. Davidson. You’ll have the documents before noon.”

“Now was that so hard?”

Matt inhaled sharply and you quickly took the phone from his hand.

“Mr. Murdock put you through to me. I’ll deliver you the documents. It was a pleasure to deal with you, Mr. Davidson,” you chatted sweetly and ended the call. Matt was watching you, pressing his lips together, clearly holding back a smile.

“You’re a mischief.” 

He kissed you forehead lovingly.

“Me?” you asked innocently. “I was perfectly polite. He was being a dick. Now, you mean the papers for the Howard’s case, right? Speak fast or you really will be late for your meeting…”

That was how you found yourself on your way to Mr. Davidson’s office in Queens, two copies of whatever paperwork with yours/Matt’s signature and the bloody Google maps app that wasn’t counting on alleyways. And you had about four extra pounds just in your belly, so you really wanted to count any shortcut in.

On a second thought, maybe God was not punishing you for the little fraud with the signatures but for your laziness.

Now you were staring at a barrel of a gun, four pounds of living growing mass of your baby in your belly and you really didn’t know how to fight the mugger off. The memory of Matt’s voice reminding you the first rule – run from the danger – was shushed by a dreamed voice of his that was telling you to just give the thug your fucking purse, because running was not an option in your state and situation; on top of everything, Mr. Davidson’s ‘now was that so hard?’ mocked you and you mentally yelled YES.

“Are you deaf too? Give me your fucking bag!”

“Okay, okay— just… just don’t shoot! I’ll give you my phone and wallet, but I have some legal papers I can’t-”

He shot into air and you jumped, your instinct screaming at you how to disarm him – Matt had taught you how, you had actually done it before, because you fucking lived in Hell’s Kitchen, the most dangerous area in NYC, Matt had taught you for a reason. But another instinct – not to take any risks and protect your baby – was much stronger. You gulped, feeling tears gathering in your eyes.

“Please, just— just don’t hurt me.” Don’t hurt the baby. “Here-"

You barely managed to extend your hand with the handbag when something white curled around the gun – more like cocooned it – and pulled the weapon away.

Both you and your assailant gasped.

“Fuck.”

“Up here, bad guy!” a cheerful male voice called out and you fought the urge to look up, not wanting to leave the still dangerous man out of your sight.

Good thing you didn’t; he pulled out a knife and lunged after you.

You barely dodged the knife and caught his forearm. He seemed surprised at your defence, but let the knife fall, trying to catch it with his free hand. You listened to your first instinct – you deflected the knife before he caught it.

You managed to kick his knee and then his both legs were suddenly tied together with the strange white-- thingie and the thug was pulled away, cursing.

You blinked in shock, looking in the direction he was being dragged. A strange man of not so strong built, dressed in blue and red costu— armour, it must have been an armour, because he was obviously stopping a crime in a dress-up, which made him a vigilante. And as a vigilante wife, you knew vigilantes were in fact not wearing costumes, but armours.

“What kind of a douche attacks a pregnant woman?!” he demanded exasperatedly and with one motion of his wrist, the mugger’s hands were tied too. “Coward!”

And he knocked him out, tossing him aside, looking up at you. What kind of a mask was that? The strange eye area-- and was that a spider emblem on his chest?

He took several steps towards you and you instinctively stumbled back.

This guy might have saved your ass, but he was still a stranger, shooting some white sticky substance from his wrist and he was wearing a spider themed cos- armour and it was really creepy. Which said something considering your own husband was lurking at night dressed like the Devil himself.

“Hey, it’s okay! I’m not gonna hurt you! I promise!”

He held out his hands, showing you they were empty and that he meant no harm. Jesus, he was so thin. Was he even a man? Was he a kid? Like, a teenager? His voice sounded like it still some masculine changes to go through.

“Who are you?” you asked cautiously. ‘How old are you?’

“I came to help! I’m just your friendly neighbour Spiderman!”

The who now? “I’m not... from the neighbourhood. I’m-"

“-BLEEDING! Oh god, oh god. You really showed the guy, but you’re bleeding. Oh god, oh shit— now that’s more money to the swear jar-" the kid, and you were now sure he was a kid, started panicking and you had no idea why, because-- oh. 

Your hand was bleeding.

“Oh.”

“Oh god, I have to get you to a hospital-"

You froze. “That’s not necessary-” You didn’t have time for a hospital now. You needed to deliver the stupid papers; your hand had to wait, it didn’t look too deep, you’d be fine. Though it did kinda hurt, how had you missed that?

“What?!” the kid squeaked. “You’re bleeding! I should have done better, oh no-"

You felt a ridiculous urge to comfort him all of sudden, so you crossed the distance, boldly caressing his arm.

“Hey, no, you did great-"

“But you’re bleeding, miss— madam? I should probably go with madam-"

You pressed her lips together so you wouldn’t laugh at his babbling. Had he noticed your ring? Maybe it was your growing belly.

“It’s alright, Spiderman. You saved me from getting shot and mugged, that’s wonderful.”

He looked up. “So you’re not mad at me? Why don’t you want me to take you to the hospital then?”

“Because-"

“Of course! Karen, call mister Stark!” he blurted out, delighted he found a solution.

“What?!”

You wanted to ask who Karen was and where she had been hiding, but Stark’s name kinda caught your attention more urgently. Call Stark? You would hope he was talking about a different Stark, but this kid had some sort of a suit and was playing hero, so-

“It’s okay, he’ll help-” the boy was quick to reassure you, poor kid not having  clue why you did not want to see Tony Stark in the slightest.

“No!”

“He’s a good guy!”

“I don’t need-"

“Oh, Mr. Stark! Thank god. I have a woman— no, not a girlfriend, I mean-- no, not an experimental intimate stuff mentor-"

You almost choked on your own spit. Now you had no doubt he was talking to Tony freaking Stark, because he would make a remark like that. Wonderful. You hadn’t been interacting too much with Tony; in fact, you had only met once, the meeting being pretty intense, with blood, kidnapping and stuff.

“An injured one! She was almost mugged and she’s pregnant and she’s bleeding— from her hand!” he explained exasperatedly, gesturing wildly with his hands. “And she wouldn’t go to the hospital and she’s saying it’s not necessary, but-”

There was a short silence and you wondered what Tony was saying, where, when, how and WHY had he recruited a kid and what the hell was all this.

You checked the time, finding out you really needed to go.

“I’ll show you how she is. Karen, initiate a video call-"

“No! Wait!” you yelped, lunging after a non-existent phone, desperately wanting to stop him. Oh no, please, you so didn’t have time for Tony Stark. You were sure that if Stark saw you, he would recognize you and-

“Mr. Stark is saying I should definitely bring you-"

-and would want you to come. 

You raised your hands in defensive gesture. “I’m walking away.”

You looked around, gathered your handbag and stuff, spun on your heels-

“No way! Mr. Stark thinks you need medical attention-"

“I’ll make sure he needs medical attention unless I’m walking away.,” you growled loudly, more annoyed than anything else. “I really need to deliver these papers-"

“Oh! Where?! I’ll drop them off for you, madam! Maybe it’s even on our way! Where do you need them?”

You were so stunned you stuttered an address.

“Great! Let’s go!”

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Part 2 (final)

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Thank you for reading!

(This is an oldie, might feel a bit different than my usual stuff)

[astrologista]

Kristoph Gavin Character Analysis I

Part 1 of... fucking infinity, I hate this bitch so much lmao.

Well, it's Halloween time and I just thought, why not. So let's answer this question.

What makes Kristoph Gavin a scary character/villain? A soft spoken gentleman with a deadly secret... the Devil, who lives in his hand, that crazy evil scar thing, his creepy music theme... damn, he’s a scary dude. But scariest of all? His psychology, as we all know. (This is mostly gonna be headcanons. but ya know what, I have a license (hands you a piece of paper that says ‘i can do what i want’))

Kristoph seems like a person who is very aloof, particularly when it comes to personal relationships. At first he kind of just seems like the typical anime glasses guy whose main emotion is like whooa he does the glare thing with his glasses sometimes. But... what is he really about?

You know, let me digress for a moment, what's really interesting to me about the AA characters is how much depth they have in their writing. Case in point, Adrian Andrews. There's a character who you assume is just going to be the typical "anime glasses girl" who is a career woman who don't need no man, and is very aloof, cool, and as she says, not concerned with irrelevant topics or things. Later you learn about the true depths to her personality. The fact that she is codependent, that she needs other people telling her what to do in order to survive. Just because she masks these emotions doesn't mean they don't exist. I felt that really gave a lot of depth to her character and added another dimension that stories in this genre don't often address as boldly or fully (especially when it comes to a female character). So the quality of the writing is always really top notch with only a few exceptions. Take this as context...

Now getting back to Kristoph Gavin. Typical anime glasses dude, right? But no, though. One of the reasons why he's so interesting to me is how his emotional understanding of personal relationships really works. Or seems to, anyway. Based on the endgame testimony and his crimes, Kristoph Gavin is extremely dangerous because, should you get involved with him in any way, he will never, ever let go of you, ever. Once you are entangled with him he wants you to stay entangled, not unlike an overbearing parent who refuses to let you go. It's partly that he thinks he knows what's best for you (that is, to stay completely loyal to him). And also partly... because he is pretty dependent on what other people think of him. So he needs to keep them around him closely.

Kristoph's biggest fear was his lying being exposed for what it was. That Phoenix was really the honest, straightforward attorney, and not him. Kristoph would do anything to perpetuate his own false reality. He kept it going for seven years. His absolute worst fear of all was losing his reputation. Being seen for what he truly was in front of others. He could never accept that. That fear drove all of his murders. Fundamentally, he sees himself as benevolent... when nothing could be further from the truth of how he was hurting everyone who had the misfortune of crossing his path.

Kristoph has a need to perpetuate this false identity of himself above all else. A very adjacent second goal to that is to keep all of his personal associates very close and under his control in order to keep the first goal intact.

Reject him and he will stalk you until you are dead. By his hand, or otherwise. Slight him, and he will get you at the first opportunity, case in point, Zak Gramarye. (He only had to get a quick glance at the guy and his fate was sealed. Turnabout Trump is a chilling case.) Replace him, and he will tear your life and livelihood up into little itty bitty pieces. He will then continue to stalk you aggressively for seven years while pretending he is your best friend. Case in point, Phoenix Wright.

Create false evidence for him and you become a loose end. So does your daughter. Like I said, just don't get involved with him. If he feels threatened, Kristoph Gavin will not hesitate to end you. It's definitely an obsession. I mean the first word that comes to people's minds when it comes to Kristoph usually isn't "obsessed", because he gives off the aura of being calm and uninterested. But he is, he's obsessed. You have to be obsessed to do what he did. This shit consumed his every waking hour, and that's what he won't admit. That he was so sick, he completely lost the plot. Phoenix was already living in his head rent free the day he ordered the forgery. And even though Phoenix wasn't physically present at the Misham trial and was only watching everything by video camera, you can bet Kristoph was seeing Phoenix. Hallucinating him, images of him. Probably multiple images of him. That's how obsessive. Imagine letting something or someone control you to that extent. Imagine thinking that you're so important, that Phoenix taking Zak Gramarye's case at all was meant to be a slight against you personally. (It's funny because Phoenix mentions not even knowing Kristoph at all until after the disbarment. So Kristoph's own logic in thinking that Phoenix was just out to shame him absolutely doesn't track. Ob-sessed, dude.)  

It's actually pretty astonishing that someone like Apollo made it out alive. On a side note, I really think Kristoph enjoyed having someone to mentor. He sought someone like Apollo out. Someone naive and new to the field for him to indoctrinate. And maybe I have a post about that later, cuz that's a whole 'nother barrel of monkeys right there. (It kind of involves Apollo’s naivete (also, daddy issues, hello.) being a huge reason why he would gravitate towards having a mentor known for having a “caring” personality. And I think Apollo genuinely liked that about him, which makes the end result so much more awful for Apollo to deal with because to him, that was real.)

But now think of Klavier, right. Being forced to grow up with that. To live with that your entire life. To have a familial relationship that is that smothering, that suffocating, that strangling. That controlling, to criticize every single thing that you do or say right down to the way you say it. And remember... He's never letting you go. I would go on a world tour as a rock star, too. Anything to be anywhere he isn't. This is horror movie tier stuff. (now im imagining a horror movie trailer for aa4 focusing on gavins stuff... eep!)

And Kristoph Gavin markets himself as someone who simply doesn't care. He's the coolest defense in the west and he doesn't care for what you may think about it. Except... he does care. It totally consumes him. Your perception, your opinion, is everything to him. He has shitty self esteem, deep down, because he knows Phoenix is better than him. And tries to mask it with narcissism as the two duke it out. Appearances are everything, evidence is everything. What people think is true is the only thing that matters, truth doesn't. And it makes sense that his closest contacts and associates are the targets for his constant narcissistic abuse and gaslighting. Their opinions matter even more than the common crowd - of course, Kristoph hates them. Which makes it even worse for him when the jury decides unanimously that Vera is innocent (and by implication, he is therefore guilty). The jury verdict was kind of like the ultimate confirmation that guess what, the evidence doesn't matter. The common and boorish masses have passed judgement, no matter how "mindless, emotional and irrational" they are, even they can see behind his crappy little facade. Even a blind woman like Lamiroir can see that insecurity; even a common person can understand it just by looking at the facts. That's what absolutely wrecks him... that his “poker face” couldn’t hold a candle to Phoenix’s. And he loses the “hand” again (because of his “hand”... get it??).

The identity that he needs to maintain is part of how he sees himself in his mind. As Phoenix's protector, not as his stalker. As Klavier's benevolent big brother, not as his abuser. As Apollo's teacher and mentor, not as someone guiding him into ruin. He lives in a false reality.

Try to bring this up in any way, shape, or form and he will write it off. You're just imagining things...

Because at some level, Mr. Black Psyche Locks himself doesn't even realize. (I feel like that might just be basically canonical fact, based on Pearl’s explanation of how black psyche locks are supposed to work.) That’s pretty freaking terrifying.

At the end of the day this is a big part of the reason I think his character is just so interesting. In a very messed up way, Kristoph is one degree away from being such a good person. He could've been obsessively protective of Klavier - the way a big brother is supposed to be - instead of abusive, could've actually been very caring of Phoenix instead of manipulative. Terrible people can have good traits, just as good people can have awful traits. His attention to detail and understanding of psychology (like getting Vera those gifts she would like so much) could've been used for genuine good. He could've been someone who cares deeply about other people because he does care deeply about other people. But only in terms of their relation to himself, what do they think of him, how are they useful to him.

Maybe this is why I kind of like his character. Intelligent, semi-neurotic protective characters are just my ish. But, no, he has to have a narcissistic bent that skews everything into complete abuse. That’s what makes him awful... that he’s devoid of a moral compass or true compassion for other human beings.

So in closing, fuck off, Kristoph Gavin.

Postscript, he's also such a good foil for Phoenix for this reason. Kristoph does everything for himself. Phoenix does everything for Trucy, because he's a dad and he understands the weight of what it means to really care for someone. Kristoph couldn’t understand motives like that. And Phoenix can't help it if he's an order of magnitude smarter and more mature than Kristoph is. He was just born like that. Classy as fuck. You know what, Kristoph Gavin is like the dollar store version of Phoenix Wright as an attorney. Has many of the same functions but actually doesn't have a leg to stand on and will fail you when you need it. And is revealed to just be a cheap knockoff of the real thing.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Crash Bandicoot

Reviewing video games is not my forte. Like, sure, I can review the Metal Gear franchise because it’s near and dear to my heart and it’s incredibly story driven to a cinematic degree, but I’m not super good at touching on game design or any of that. I stick with movies. But then there are a lot of games I love and want to talk about, such as this game, Crash Bandicoot, and it’s like, how do I talk about this? This is a platformer that is very light on plot and is more about precision platforming than anything, and I’m just not really good at talking about gameplay.

But I’ve come up with a solution! One that I plan to use going forward for a few other games, too! I’ll start with a few paragraphs with my basic overview of the game, and then I will do a ranking of my favorite levels, and then how I’d rank the bosses. I’m much better at talking why I enjoy the challenge of specific elements of games like these then I am talking about the game as a whole, so let’s see how this turns out.

Crash Bandicoot was the first video game I ever played, and so is extremely near and dear to my heart. It’s a rather simple game, a “save the girl” platforming adventure in the vein of something like Mario, where an intrepid hero travels through platforming challenges to save the love of his life from an evil mastermind, though as the main character is a furry animal with a bit of 90s ‘tude, and his archenemy is a mad scientist who utilizes cyborgs to stop you, there’s a dash of Sonic in here too. Being a simple platforming game like this, you’d think there wouldn’t be all that much to the story… but surprisingly, that’s not totally the case (although the story is still relatively simple to later entries).

Crash was meant to be the ultimate soldier in Dr. Neo Cortex’s army of evil marsupials and other assorted critters, an army he presumably was going to use for world domination. After rigorous training, Crash was set to be brainwashed and turned into a mindless slave, but something got screwed up and Crash remained a good, heroic guy. He ended up chased out a window and washed up on the beach of a nearby island, and set out to save his buxom, big booty bandicoot babe Tawna from the creepy clutches of the cantankerous Cortex, causing chaos and crushing crates as he went along. The manual included with the original version of the game actually outlined sort of a little story for the first island, showing how the levels involved Crash infiltrating a native village, defeating its leader, and then riding a hog to escape on his way to the next island. It’s kind of fun and imaginative, and the next island keeps it up, with Crash having to brave ancient ruins to make it to the volcano on the other side of the island, before finally going through Cortex’s toxic power plant, causing a reactor meltdown, and climbing Cortex’s castle to confront him as his island burns to the ground. It’s a fun, simple story that’s not too challenging on the mind while still being engaging.

Perhaps the best thing about the game is the music, which was done by Josh Mancell with the assistance of Mark Mothersbaugh’s Mutato Muzika production company. Let’s not beat around the bush here: Every single track in this game slaps. Basically every track in the original trilogy slaps, but I feel pound for pound this game just hits all the right notes with its music. It perfectly sets the tone for each level, with eerie levels like Slippery Climb getting foreboding music and unsettling yet somewhat whimsical levels like Road to Nowhere getting music that perfectly suits it. This is the biggest downgrade of the remake; they redid the score, with no option to go back to the old tracks, and while some of the updated tunes are great, they don’t really hold a candle to the original (especially the creepier levels, which got dumbed down a fair bit to the point of narm).

The one thing this game is being known for these days is its pretty brutal difficulty, at least with the original release. A lot of the staple elements of the series like checkpoints saving the boxes you had previously broken and an actual save room were not present, so every level (including the brutal ones where the margin of error was incredibly slim) needed to be completed perfectly in one go. The challenging road to 100% completion was absolutely brutal, but thankfully the remake polished things and brought it more in line with its sequels to the point you only need a flawless run on colored gem levels. It can still be pretty tough since the colored gems are located in the hardest levels of the game, but it’s a lot easier than it once was.

The original game is a great, fun game, but only play the original release if you really want to test your skills; the remake is the way to go. The game holds up amazingly well even today, so no matter which version you end up playing you’re in for a fun platforming challenge.

Anyway, let’s get on to the levels!

TOP 10 LEVELS

10. Generator Room

There’s something to be said about the various one-shot themed levels of the third island. Toxic Waste is an interesting one we’ll talk about later, The Lab is a fun penultimate level, and Cortex Power is a frustrating slog of confusing backtracking. The Generator Room, though? This is unnerving atmosphere and dark ambience at its peak, with the eerie, minimalist music and the looming Cortex faces lending a chilling sense that you’re being watched as you make your way through this dark platforming challenge. It’s not the most exciting level, but among the one-shot themes it stands out for being a heaping helping of nightmare fuel… Though moreso in the original game. The remake sadly toned things down a bit too much, though it’s hard to blame them, really.

9. Native Fortress

The level that caps off the first island is a more challenging remake of The Great Gate, and closes out the story of the first island by showing how Crash escapes the territory of Papu Papu’s tribe. It’s a pretty fun and reasonable challenge for the point in the game, but my favorite aspect of the level has always been that, when you get the red gem, you get to fly up in the clouds and experience the painted background of the other two islands with less clutter. It’s just a simple background image, sure, but I have always found it very pretty and breathtaking.

8. Road to Nowhere

Everyone’s favorite! This is one of the more challenging levels if you don’t know what you’re doing because of the tricky and precise jumps you need, but it just has so much atmosphere and pleasant music it’s hard to get mad even if I screw up and plummet to my doom a few dozen times. Bouncing off of hibernating turtles to make long jumps and inexplicable evil hogs help make this memorable. Frankly, if you want to direct your ire to a stage, direct it to The High Road, the third island’s more challenging take on this level’s theme and which is a joyless, frustrating experience.

7. Castle Machinery

This level is honestly a bit of a breather for being so late in the game; sure, it has a lot of tricky jumps and an annoying crate bridge you need to really think about to conquer, but overall it’s just an improved take on Heavy Machinery without an obtuse branching path to figure out. Still, this level really makes the list because, if you have the right colored gem, you can just immediately skip the entire level and gain thirty free lives in the process in one of the single funniest moments in the game.

6. Toxic Waste

This level is simple, straightforward, and to the point. It’s one long-ass hallway where Crash is on a narrow walkway and has to avoid incoming barrels being tossed at him by the Mafia. It has no branching paths, no crazy elements, just Crash, some barrels, some boxes, and some bad guys. It’s almost too basic, but what saves it is the atmosphere of it all and the sheer awesomeness of the music, no matter which version you’re playing. It’s a level that has stuck in my mind since I was a kid. In a way, it also set the basis for colored gem unlocks in the games to follow, as avoiding the barrels is more of a puzzle than anything, much like the tricky puzzles you had to solve to unlock the colored gems in Cortex Strikes Back and It’s About Time. It’s a neat little first step even if it’s not quite there yet.

5. Boulder Dash

I almost didn’t include one of these levels, but God, these levels were trendsetters! The whole “Crash gets chased by dangerous thing” trend began in this game, and this second take on the boulder chase from the second island is a lot more fun and challenging than the earlier version of the level. And if you get the colored gem, you’re taken to a pretty underground alternate exit with tons of crates, which is pretty dope.

4. Fumbling in the Dark

The only one of the secret levels that requires a Cortex key to make the list, Fumbling in the Dark is a remix of Lights Out, the level it branches off of. That level is a bit of a cakewalk if you have the right gem, with an alternate exit being available to you before the level’s challenge ramps up. Not so with this level! You’ve gotta do some tricky timed jumps as quick as possible so you can get to the next Aku Aku mask before the light runs out. It’s a pretty fun and fair challenge, and it pushes my platforming skills to the limit. I also just really enjoy the creepy, Gothic aesthetic of the levels inside Cortex’s castle.

3. Hog Wild

This is, hands down, the funniest level in the game. From Crash’s really suggestive eyebrow waggle which leads to him tackling a pig to the extremely goofy music, this level is just an absolute blast. It does have an equally fun yet more challenging remix as an optional secret level, Whole Hog, but I have to give props to the original level for being the most hilarious thing I ever saw when I was little.

2. Slippery Climb

Where Stormy Ascent is a brutal, unrelenting challenge, Slippery Climb is more of a tough, but fair challenge. It’s definitely up there with Sunset Vista and The High Road in terms of difficulty, and the fact you’ve gotta do a flawless run of it if you want the red gem is daunting, but this is the most thoroughly rewarding mandatory level to conquer. You’re gonna feel really cool when you take this one down, guaranteed. Maybe not as much as when you take down Stormy Ascent, but still, this may be the toughest level in the game.

1. THE GREAT HALL

WOO YEAH BABY! LOOK AT THIS CHALLENGE!

Ok, ok, here’s the real number one:

1. N. Sanity Beach

This is the first level in the game and, thus, one of the easiest. And yet I placed it above all the levels I find to be more fun and challenging. Why? Well, for one, the pure nostalgia of it all. This was my first level in a video game, and I have fond memories of traversing the beach and jungle. For the other, this is one of the most perfect tutorial levels I have ever seen. Basically everything the game has to offer is laid out to you and slowly dished out to you: you start with a couple crates and a free life, move on to experience some enemies and pits, you can get total invincibility if you’re smart, you’re introduced to branching paths and backtracking… Everything is dished out to you at a solid pace so that any new player will be able to figure out what they’re doing with relative ease. Plus, the music slaps, and interestingly enough halfway through the level changes to a different song (the only level to do this). It really does encapsulate the game as a whole in one tiny package, and for that, I think it’s my favorite level of all.

Boss Ranking

The best way to describe the bosses in the original Crash is that they are incredibly basic. Most of them have simple patterns, easy tells, and don’t take much effort to take down. There’s not really anything here that will put your skills to the test, but none of them are really bad per se; in fact, considering how hard the levels can get, it’s sort of a breath of fresh air when you get to a boss that can be taken down without thinking hard.

6. Papu Papu

Coming in last place is our first boss, the big chief of the first island himself. He’s a pretty simple and straightforward boss battle: just jump on his head a few times and he’ll be out cold. It’s pretty nice to ease in new players, but it’s seriously not much of a challenge (though none of these bosses are particularly hard, mind you).

5. Koala Kong

So far, this has been Koala Kong’s sole major outing, as he was pretty quickly replaced with the more engaging Tiny Tiger in terms of dumb muscle.Tiny at least has some semblance of combat prowess and strategy, while this guy is just tossing boulders at you to spin back while he’s flexing and posing like he wants a part in the next volume of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. He’s certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed. Still, he’s not bad or anything, just a bit of a generic battle compared to the last three or the one before him.

4. Ripper Roo

Ripper Roo is a bit of a frustrating puzzle boss, requiring just the right timing to get in any damage on the guy. Still, the fun and bouncy music coupled with the amazing stock laugh does help make him a bit more memorable than the previous two bosses. I will say he’s probably worse in terms of an actual boss battle, because he ends up being more an exercise in precision than the typical dodging and waiting for the right moment to strike, but he’s also a funny kangaroo in a straitjacket, and I think that counts for something.

3. N. Brio

The longest boss in the game, Brio comes with a massive health bar that you’ll shave off pretty quickly for his first phase if you’re careful, and whose second phase features him hulking out into an incredible monstrosity. He’s simple and straightforward, much like all the bosses to be honest, but I think the bosses on the final island all have solid presentation to make up for that. Brio just comes out at the lower end, which is honestly a running theme for him in Crash games, as his battles are rarely the best out there and few can match his debut.

2. Pinstripe

Pinstripe may not be the most challenging boss in the world, but damn is he cool. A tommy gun-toting potoroo gangster who goes full-on Scarface and starts blasting up his office when you walk in while cackling like a madman? Awesome. Defeating him is also heavily implied to be the reason Cortex’s castle eventually starts burning down, as he accidentally shoots the generator upon defeat, which is a neat little touch. If nothing else, Pinstripe is just fun, and he has killer theme music to boot.

1. Cortex

Cortex begins his reign as the big bad of the franchise with a final boss battle that, while lacking in serious challenge, has such good music and presentation that it’s hard to really care. The fight is simple and straightforward: you dodge his blasts, and hit back the ones of a certain color so they blast his health off. All of this is done from atop his dirigible, as his island burns down in the background. The bosses just don’t get any cooler than this.

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt65

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

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Tim could only stare at Damian as Ladybug closed the portal. He was the last one anyone expected to go rogue like this. That’s not to say they didn’t think he’d go rogue at all. Damian would definitely charge off on his own if he decided he knew best, but to see him deferring to another hero’s judgement and keeping them out of the loop was just surreal. He was starting to wonder if she hadn’t done something to him with her magic. When he happened to glace over at Ladybug he found her studying him. Well that was creepy.  He almost let out a relieved breath when she turned to Damian.

“Can he be trusted?” The question was insulting, as was the fact that Damian frowned at him, apparently thinking about it. Seriously? He’d agreed to her terms, what more did they want?

“Since Father agreed as well I believe he’ll keep his word. If he shows signs of cracking you can always erase his memory the way you threatened to do with me.” Wait what? Ladybug was frowning in thought as though considering it. What the hell had Bruce sent him into?

“Hey, I gave word and I meant it. I’ll abide by your terms as long as Hawkmoth is still a threat.” She just frowned at him again. So much for putting her at ease. Damian just rolled his eyes.

“My family understands the importance of secrets. He won’t tell anyone unless it’s necessary.” Tim felt like he was missing part of the conversation but Ladybug just let out a tired sigh.

“I hope you’re right, because we need to finish planning. And now that we have someone onsite to hack Gabriel’s system I’ll have to adjust it a little.” Before he knew what was happening there was a flash of light and where Ladybug had stood was a tiny, obviously worn down teenager.

-----------------------------------------------

Marinette just shook her head as Damian’s brother gaped at her. Even knowing she wasn’t what anyone expected to be under the mask it was still irritating to see the disbelief on his face.

“You two can come out now. No point in dragging this out since I think we’d all like to sleep at some point.” The door to the bedroom opened slowly but as soon as Chloe caught sight of her, her girlfriend rushed out to wrap Marinette in a hug. She must look worse than she thought. Luka went to stand next to Damian and the other boy held a rigid posture as if afraid of what he might do if he wasn’t careful. She knew he didn’t like the idea of his family meddling in his personal affairs and it was likely he was afraid his brother would pick up on something if he wasn’t careful.

“You really are just a bunch of kids. I was hoping it was just the magic that made you look so young.” Marinette felt Chloe stiffen, but she didn’t hear any disparagement in his tone, just resignation and sadness.

“We’re the heroes tasked with protecting Paris, our age is irrelevant. I’m Marinette.” She held out a hand and he took it cautiously.

“Tim. It’s nice to meet you officially. Do you really think you’ll have this whole thing dealt with in a week?” He sounded more curious than doubtful, which was good. She gave a tired sigh.

“This will all be over tomorrow night unless something goes insanely wrong. That shouldn’t be an issue now that I have a black cat that actually balances me properly.” She gave Chloe a small smile and could almost feel her tension loosen a bit. It was obvious she didn’t trust Tim and was going to remain on alert. For his part, Tim just looked stunned.

“You only just got confirmation of his identity, you can’t be ready to face him yet. Barreling into a fight just because you’re anxious to get things over with will just end in disaster.” Marinette couldn’t stop herself from groaning out loud and she heard Damian snicker at her. She was so tired of other people telling her how to handle things when they had no idea what was actually going on.

“I’m not barreling into anything. I’ve been looking at Gabriel as a suspect almost since the beginning. I know how he tends to operate, and the longer we wait the more likely he is to do something big that I may or may not be able to handle. It’s far better to take the fight to him than wait and see what he comes up with. If you don’t want to be a part of that fine, but don’t tell me what we are and are not prepared for.” He seemed taken aback but she honestly didn’t care. She knew what needed to be done and she wasn’t going to waste time explaining that to someone that might be helpful. Would having Tim hack Gabriel’s system so they could avoid surprises be helpful? Of course. Was it necessary? Nope. Worst case scenario she could just have Chloe Cataclysm the house and be done with it. That’s the mood she was in right now.

“I wasn’t saying I won’t help, I just want to make sure you’ve thought this through.” She leveled a glare at him that actually caused him to take a few steps back. Good, he should be afraid of her at this point. She could hear Chloe growling at him behind her which probably didn’t help.

“Your concern is noted. Now, if you don’t mind we need to hash out the details of our assault. So unless you have something constructive to add to the discussion I suggest you just listen.” Something in her tone seemed to finally penetrate and he gave a nod of acceptance. It was times like this she hated being a teenager. No one took her seriously until she forced them to.

AO3   Beginning   Previous    Next

Ko-Fi

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[merinnan]

Time Raiders

Okay, pausing the DMBJ 2 watches to watch the Time Raiders movie instead! I've been told that the entire movie is basically one big crackfic & I want to see how true that is

- Apparently the only place I can find it is YouTube 

- And we open with someone laying down cards which...seem to be making a qilin pattern. Okay. 

- And now we're at the Himalayas, and it seems to be a bunch of white soldiers shooting people? 

- Oh, this leader white guy has a classic villain look. I love the pocket watch, too 

- Wait, he's supposed to be a scientist? 

 - He obviously hasn't read the Evil Overload Handbook 

- And now this is giving me flashbacks to Xiaoge's first appearance in DMBJ1

- Ah, yes, I think this is the Xiaoge for this movie. Excellent. 

- DUDES. You have GUNS. You were using them just before. Why are you now using knives only? 

- I mean, it wouldn't do much better, because Xiaoge, but still 

- This is A Look

- Finally, one of them uses a gun, and it's as useless as I expected it would be 

- Ahahahah, omg, what he did to these two guys is hilarious 

- That is a TERRIBLE hiding place 

- Don't....don't leave him alive. JFC

- This flashback montage is super weird 

- Look, I don't have a tattoo myself, but I'm pretty sure that that's not how you get tattoos 

- And now we move to Wushanju 

- Oh, I think it's Sanshu who's been playing with those cards

- ...you have got to be kidding me 

- Really? We're really doing this? 

- I guess this is Wu Xie, then 

- What even did he just randomly put that mask on for 

- That is NOT a newborn

- Awww, kid Wu Xie 

- Yay, creepy old houses. And ofc kid Wu Xie is gonna try to get inside 

- But that is a fucking massive lock 

- Yes, of course, wrap the porch in giant fuckoff chains, but don't lock the front door. Why not? 

- ....k 

- Sure, that happened

- And bratty kid Wu Xie still pinched one of the medallions after all of that 

- Okay, yeah, if you were a kid who had to go to a funeral every month, no wonder you'd be so bored at them

- This movie is all over the place in terms of timeline 

- I think we're finally into the time period of the main story 

- And it seems this one also has Wu Xie as having been an architecture student of some kind

- Oh, yes, that's exactly what you want to find while crawling through a tunnel 

- WX: "Sanshu can never know about this. You didn't tell him, right?" 

WM: *oh shit I'm screwed face* 

- Hi Sanshu, I wonder how you got here

- I love that no matter what version it is, Wu Xie is a little shit XD 

- ...Wu Xie. Moths. Light. No. 

- Wu Xie gonna Wu Xie 

- Wu Xie, what are you doing? 

- OMG 

- Sanshu, this is all your fault for never letting him in anything like this. He doesn't know not to touch

- Wow, that wasn't subtle at all 

- That's some steampunky looking villain lair right there 

- I love how the 'passerby video' getting screened fucking everywhere is just the movie footage of that scene XD That's some high quality passerby video with interesting angles

- That's an interesting drinking spot, Xiaoge 

- I love that so far Wu Xie's instincts for everything is either 'touch it', 'wear it', or 'dismantle it' 

- ....okay 

- Yeah, I....I think this is going to be my reaction to most of the movie, tbh

- Although at least this whole magic Snake Empress and weird ancient technology/magic thing is more interesting than the bland het palace drama randomly dropped into the middle of DMBJ1 

- Oh, finally, some product placement 

- I was wondering what was taking it so long

- I love how all their desks and papers and such are inside what look like coffins, and then fold out 

- Oh look, Xiaoge's sword is inside one of the coffins. 

- And there's Xiaoge 

- Hei Ye gave Sanshu the sword decades ago?

- lol, this is like some Sword in the Stone bullshit right here 

 - I love it 

- a) Was all that really necessary 

- b) wtf even is that sword? 

- It's a really bizarre design, and surely being able to be moved like a mechanical device would weaken it?

- ...okay, that was a cute meeting, I'll give it that 

- Love how the older guys are teasing Wu Xie in the truck here. 

- Oh, Wu Xie's actually a psych student in this one

- And like, Wu Xie, how do you know Xiaoge was looking at his reflection. It's a window, he might have just been spacing out at the scenery 

- You must have been paying a lot of attention to him to notice it was the reflection he was actually looking at, hmmm? 👀

- This is a cute Wu Xie, tho 

- Yes, Wu Xie, despite your lack of modesty there I totally caught that you just called Xiaoge handsome 

- WU XIE WHAT NO DON'T DO THAT 

- Hahaha, Xiaoge had exactly the same reaction

- No, Wu Xie, it doesn't matter that you'd taken the ammo out, you should never stick the barrel of a gun in your face and look down it like that. 

- Even if you're certain it's unloaded, you just DON'T DO THAT

- Wu Xie, lacking impulse control and survival instincts without Xiaoge and Pangzi since....forever 

- (okay, lacking survival instincts was perhaps a bit too far, but still)

- I love Xiaoge's "omg what even are you" look at that 

- This is a very talkative and open to talking about himself Xiaoge 

- It's kind of weird

- lol @ Sanshu locking Wu Xie in the truck so he can't come with them 

 - I mean, really, does he actually expect this to work? 

- He knows his nephew both likes and is good at taking things apart, after all 

- lol, I knew it 

- Oh 

- Oh, that's not a good sign

- Even Coral's logo just screams 'villainous organisation' 

- These mercenaries look like video game characters from like COD or something 

- Oh hi, lady I presume is A-Ning 

- I like the haircut. Looks kinda like DMBJ 1 Xiaoge's haircut, just with the fringe over the opposite eye

- Oh, there's that gratuitous boob shot that @thosch3i​ told me about 

- I really don't see why it was necessary for A-Ning to crawl all over the truck like that when everyone else just walked past it

- There is some really nice scenery in this movie with all the mountains and cliffs and such 

- "What I'm doing isn't about right or wrong, it's about how much" I like this A-Ning. She is refreshingly direct and mercenary

- Damn, I though Xiaoge was going to notice the drone. I mean, it's so close to them! He should notice it! 

- Love Hendrix's surprised Pikachu face at recognising him, though 

- I'm honestly surprised that none of them have looked in the truck at all

- I do appreciate that this movie doesn't even attempt to pretend that they're not tomb raiders 

- And that they have no interest in preserving this place 

- Because BOOM! Let's just dynamite our way in and destroy half the wall

- Oops, no floor there 

- Hahaha, this tomb is a fucking platform game 

 - Lovely, a shootout in a tomb. Just what every good tomb raiding movie need 

 - lol, Sanshu 

- Don't you ever ever again wonder where your nephew's little shit tendencies come from

- I think Xiaoge and A-Ning are the only truly competent people on their respective teams 

- A-Ning, 'keep them alive' does not mean 'try to shoot one in the face at close range' 

- That little boot knife is kinda cute, though 

- Clever move, Pan Zi

- I love the Xiaoge/A-Ning fight. He really is the only one who could keep her distracted 

- I'm impressed at how well she held her own with him 

- IDK why he was holding back

- Also, Xiaoge participating in fight banter, no matter how minimal? Strange, but also kinda cool. 

- I'm going to be giggling about that "Not bad"/"I know" for awhile, I think 

- IDK how they had the time or the ability to stay still long enough to rig up that trap, I'm impressed

- lol, yeah, I didn't think that it would take Wu Xie long to get out of the truck 

- I take back my earlier comment about it being too harsh to say that Wu Xie lacks survival instincts without Xiaoge and Pangzi around

- Wu Xie, there is not enough light down here for you to get good shots without your flash being on 

- I know having your flash on is a BAD idea, but still 

- You cannot be getting good photos in this light

- Why is Xiaoge separated from everyone? He jumped down with them 

- I mean, it's good that he is, otherwise Wu Xie would be kinda screwed right now 

- Huh, bats, there must be an actual entrance to this tomb, not just the one that Sanshu's team made.

- A-Ning's tiny baby drones are so cute 

- The English dubbing in this is surprisingly good compared to the shows 

- Yes, good, the staring is starting 

- ...Wu Xie, you little shit 

 - He's so pleased with himself 

- Xiaoge is so confused until he explains it 

- OMG, a Xiaoge smile

- OMG A XIAOGE LAUGH

- Ah yes, multiple large tornadoes, a way to signify weird shit is going now 

- And weird spinny planets forming an...energy grid of some kind? 

- ...k 

- The mini drones apparently only pick up on people who are part of A-Ning's team, I guess

- JESUS 

- I mean, I had a strong suspicion that was gonna happen, but it still made me jump 

- Xiaoge to the rescue! 

- Damn, that sword is strong 

- This tomb definitely has a spider colony, but given it also has a bat colony that doesn't surprise me

- Those are some creepy looking mannequins 

- This set up looks like a game of Mouse Trap 

- A game of Mouse Trap with fire 

- That's actually a really cool way to light all the candles and lamps 

- I'm impressed that none of the cobwebs have caught on fire

- Oh, so NOW you use your flash, Wu Xie. When the room is all well lit and you don't actually need it 

- CREEEEEPY 

- Wu Xie and his compulsive need to touch things 

- Are all the puppets connected somehow, or are we gonna have spooky magical shit making them all come to life?

- Oh, the puppet band is like the bells, I guess 

- Huh, it seems Wu Xie's the only one who got thrown into memories in these illusions, everyone else's hallucination still has them inside the tomb 

- wtf, a lion is a weird thing to hallucinate

- Magic Zhang blood, go! 

- IDK why he needs to cut himself for each person, though, surely one cut should be enough to get all the drops of blood he needs 

- Good boy, Wu Xie, already so protective of his Xiaoge

- This really is a fucking platform game 

- Guys, this is why you study up on the raid mechanics BEFORE you enter the instance 

- Ahahahah, the music playing as Wu Xie basically dances with the sword trap

- lol, the look on Xiaoge's face as he realises Wu Xie is just...fucking dancing and taking photos 

- And that it's WORKING 

- OMFG, this is basically just a bizarre dance sequence 

- I love it 

- It's so stupid

- The puppets having fucking crossbows 

- Because ofc they do 

- Repeating crossbows 

- ...k 

- So now we have a room full of skeletons stuffed into cages 

- Why not 

- Ah, we're about to have bugs show up 

- Excellent 

- This is what I've been waiting for

- Let the hilarity begin continue 

- Dude, you can quit right now as much as you like, but it doesn't mean you're going to be able to get out of here by yourself 

- I guess this guy's gonna die now 

- For the tropes are hungry and must be fed 

- Much like the bugs

- Yep, here we go 

- Hello, shibie, I've been expecting you 

- These ones don't look as cartoonishly ridiculous as the ones in DMBJ 1, I'm sad 

- OMFG, it's eating the shovel/pick/thing 

- Okay, this is a good effort at cartoonish ridiculousness

- It's a lovely day in the tomb, and these are horrible shibie 

- Poor Wu Xie, so shocked at getting slapped

- And yeah. Yeah, that's about the only thing you can do there. 

- Only way to save the guy is to just give him a quick death so he doesn't suffer from being eaten alive

- They're lucky these shibie move so slowly. It gives them plenty of time to climb up onto those frames 

- lol, weird bendy sword again 

- Wow, good catch, Wu Xie 

- Y'know, Wu Xie, it might have been more useful to give the knife to Da Kui 

- And ofc Wu Xie falls down

- What is a DMBJ adaptation without Wu Xie getting himself into danger like this?

- That was so much wtf all at once 

- First, an unbroken flute just, like, laying there on the ground 

- Then, Wu Xie somehow thinking that playing it would save him from the bugs 

- Then that WORKED 

- He's like the fucking Pied Piper of the shibie 

- What even is this movie

- Haha, the little OK sign he flashes at Xiaoge 

- The wtf look on Xiaoge's face 

- Same, Xiaoge. Same 

- I love how everyone just. Accepts it & congratulates Wu Xie on being an awesome flute player 

- But then ig what else are you gonna do? 

- It's like, well, this may as well happen

- Sanshu's team really likes using grenades, huh? 

- Well, it does work pretty well! 

- See, Wu Xie, this is when you need to summon your bugs back

- On a completely different tangent, I cannot get over how weirdly the subs translate men you ping. I had to look up wtf shtum was. I've never come across it before. Is it something more commonly used in the US or something?

- Xiaoge, when you said you had a better way than digging under the door, I didn't think you meant just BATTERING THE FUCKING DOOR WITH THE SHOVEL 

- Oh, no, it's with your sword

- Because the best way to look after a sharp blade and keep it in good condition and keep a good edge is to...hack at rocks with it 

- Ofc 

- Why didn't I think of that? 

-  OK, ig fucking up your sword's edge did actually work, there's now a giant-ass hole in the door

- This is serious Day After Tomorrow vibes here

- Ah, yes, giant lightning strikes that cause so much force to travel through the earth that they can semi-collapse a tunnel deep underneath a mountain 

- Just your usual tomb robbing dangers 

- Physicists and meteorologists would have a fucking field day here

- Ah, I see we're at this level of the platform game 

- With the collapsing floor you need to get across without falling

- Okay, that's really kinda sweet of Wu Xie here. He thinks he's likely to die, and the most important thing to him is giving Xiaoge the pictures he took of him so that he doesn't lose all his memories 

- And aww, Xiaoge's so worried about him

- Like, I'm totally understanding why the transmigrated Wu Xie in that fic looked at these two and went "wow, we're so gay in this timeline" 

- Even the music in this scene is shipping it 

- Romantic line, and dramatic fall through the floor. Yep.

- I'm amazed he survived that fall, but it's Wu Xie, and he can't die 

- ...yes, ancient Persian architecture totally had anachronistic technology. Sure. This is definitely like that 

- omfg, they're statis chambers 

- 2000 year old stasis chambers

- Guess they're not worried about catching Sanshu and his team to get the key anymore. They've been kinda sidetracked 

- Side quests will do that 

- ...plant golems 

- "Don't shoot the thing that's in the process of murdering your friend! You might damage my research project!"

- Ew, that's not a nice death 

- Yes, good girl, A-Ning 

- That thing was just gonna kill your whole team otherwise 

- ...how did that laptop survive the blast enough for Wu Xie to be using it with no problem 

- That's one tough laptop 

- Where do I get one?

- And hey, I guess the one Chinese guy with A-Ning isn't actually one of her people, since she just, like, left him there 🤣 In the room with a plant golem 🤣 That she then threw a grenade into 🤣

 - ...omg, that's meant to be Pangzi?

- I was wondering why no Pangzi in the movie. I guess 3/4 of the way through isn't too late to properly intro him 

 - Ahahaha, Wu Xie actually thinks his bluff was super successful when there's a plant golem behind him 

- Xiaoge to the rescue again XD

- lol @ both Pangzi and Wu Xie using Xiaoge's sword as a restraint 

- ...surprise A-Ning! I wasn't expecting her to actually come back 

- And she's somehow lost all of her guys

- That's a lot of snakes, but I'm more interested in where all the water is coming from and why you can see the sun behind those shelves 

- Given how deep under a mountain they're supposed to be 

- I do love competent, pretty girls wielding huge fuckoff guns

- This door mechanism is so intricate (like the key/timer). So ofc I'm sure they're going to destroy it all 

 - Because that's how tomb raiding movies go

- Introduce a tomb with intricate and complex mechanisms far in advance of anything else known to that time period and civilisation, and then destroy them in dramatic fight and escape scenes 

- OMG the floor is lava 

 - Of course there's lava as well

- Oh, and it seems it's now all open to the sky 

- Ig the lightning which could mysteriously exert high levels of force must have smashed through the mountain and very neatly cleared it all way so that this part of the tomb and only this part of the tomb is now open air

- Wang Zanghai wishes he could go this extra with tomb building 

- And now Xiaoge being super extra to get across the destroyed section of the bridge 

- So this dude is gonna wake up just before Xiaoge gets there, isn't he? 

- And we're going to get an epic swordfight between them

- At least, it better be an epic swordfight 

- Otherwise this buildup will be very disappointing 

- Ah, yes, good, there we go 

- And all the plant golems are also waking up 

- ...along with a shitton of snakes 

- OMG the snakes have arms 

- The snakes 

- have arms

- OMG Xiaoge's sword is doing what now? 

- That's almost as ridiculous as the snakes with arms 

- It's like a sword designed by a 13 year old weeaboo boy

"it's gonna be ancient, and super strong, and nothing will ever make it blunt" 

"okay, seems like a typical magic sword so far, that's fair" 

"and you can bend it at right angles" 

"...you can what"

"and when it's bent at right angles, you can make it spin really fast and still use it like a proper sword" 

"...it what"

- ...the Snake Empress is reforming in her armour as thousands of little vines all coming together 

- k 

- Sure 

- This may as well happen 

- And her armour has boobplate, because ofc it does 

- Oh, she ain’t happy that Xiaoge just killed her plant golem boyfriend

- Her aesthetics are hilarious 

- It's part Queen of the Damned, part Little Shop of Horrors 

- Okay, snake lady, your worms might change the world but honestly I think that lightning would be more effective if you could control it

- Sanshu and co just randomly walk in through another entrance 

- Oh, and there's the rest of A-Ning's team

- I want the story behind this A-Ning and her team. The way they all call her captain, and follow her without a second word, and are so genuinely happy to see her. This isn't just a throw-together team, or a team that Hendrix put together and put her in charge of. This is her team, and there's an obvious history between them

- And snake lady is suddenly not looking as pretty as she was, for no discernible reason 

- One minute she's jumping around, the next she's all pale and falling apart. At least her face is 

- It's like she's decomposing throughout the fight

- And here come the snakes with arms 

- They move just as slowly as the shibie in here do 

- They jump pretty fast, though 

- RIP the next member of Sanshu's team 

- Yeah, machine guns aren't that effective against regular snakes, let alone magic snakes

- And the plant golems are here 

- RIP more of Sanshu's team 

- Ah, the little snakes with arms are all grown up and off to conquer the world

- ...omfg Pangzi 

- And this time it's A-Ning to the rescue 

- I love how quickly Wu Xie and Pangzi fall into the dynamic of a pair of clowns, regardless of adaptation

- RIP Harry. You went out like a badass 

- Oh wow, both teams are having some fucking epic sacrificial deaths in this fight scene 

- I like 

- And more cute pingxie, this time in flashbacks 

- lol, clearing out plant golem conversion by pure force of will

- ...and channeling blood down the grooves in the sword blade apparently...makes it sharper? 

- At least, it couldn't cut through the vines before, and now it can 

- That's not how magnetic fields work

- Ahahaha, Wu Xie pulling out his flute 

- He's gonna pull that Pied Piper shit again, isn't he? 

- Here come the shibie, come to nom on plant-snake-lady flesh! 

- She's having just as much trouble with them as everyone else does

- Because it's a lovely day in the tomb, and they are horrible shibie 

- Wow, she hits hard, she knocked Xiaoge like halfway across the chasm 

- Good thing there was a random broken pillar there

- Are they getting obliterated? 

- Ah, no, they're getting sucked up by the wind 

- Shibie-nado! 

- You know, I kinda like how bad Wu Xie's English is compared to everyone else who's spoken English so far 

- It nicely demonstrates who speaks it a lot and who doesn't

- Aw, Wu Xie, you're always so optimistic when you're baby 

- And it actually worked. I'm impressed. 

- Oh wow, A-Ning, that's some character development right there, caring about right or wrong instead of money

- Nice Pangi & A-Ning dynamic in this movie, given how they usually hate each other 

- This is definitely the final level of a platform game 

- Hahah, the two teams now 

- Awwwwwwww 😭

 - I think this is the first time I've seen Wu Xie rescue Xiaoge rather than vice versa 

- "I regret not locking you in the truck myself" 

 - Sorry, Xiaoge, I don't think you'd actually have much more luck with that than Sanshu did 

- Xiaoge, you really should have been more careful there, you almost did low Wu Xie 

- Good thing A-Ning was close by!

- ....the sword...is being used...as a boomerang 

- wtaf 

- Hahahah, the snakes' death throes, omg 

- lol what even was that ending

Overall: This movie was just one long DMBJ PingXie AU crackfic, and the author didn't know how to end it so just...didn't write an actual ending. That's the only way I can explain it. 

[chibi-pix]

Okay guys, if information is right, then it looks like I finished Voltron: Defender of the Universe. And honestly? I’m really hoping Fleet of Doom will have some closure because what the quiznak!? Okay, let’s just get through this, yeah?

Episode 67. And can I just say, Lance calming Hunk and Pidge down with applies is freaking adorable! Yes, tame the feral lads with food.  And then get turned into statues. Yeah, be careful with what you wish for, boys.  At least in the end of the episode, the kids made their own little statues of the team for the parade. 

Episode 67, Lance called it with the guy having fangs. And Allura being kind to the fang dude that I can’t remember the name of. I had hopes this wouldn’t bite them, but yeah... I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wanted to trust him too, but too many times have things gone wrong.  Lance: “Gee, sounds like a barrel of laughs.” Lance, it sounded like you said “barrel of ass”. And I’m amused. I love when I mishear things like this. 

Episode 69. Haggar was once beautiful? What the quiznak? And Zarkon sounds like a creeper with wanting Merla to scratch his back again. Oh. That must be where Lotor gets being a creeper from.  Bandor worrying about Pidge is adorable. Let the lads just have a hang-out day! Let them be close friends! And blow shit up together! Keith seemed a little dramatic with his “no” at the flower being thrown into the fire.  “That’s it, Lotor, no more allowance for you.” Really? That’s the best threat?

Episode 70. I knew not to trust it when they said Merla was captured. And I called it! Okay, maybe I’m not that smart, this show is just predictable at times. And Lotor leading them through a sun.... It feels like deja vu. I mean, I know in VLD Lotor led the team through Thayserix.... I think Zarkon chased him alongside an unstable star? Oh man, I can’t remember... never mind. Moving on. It was nice to see that the blazing sword literally got to be a blazing sword. Thanks to an eclips? Okay then.

Episode 71.  Hunk: “I don’t think Zarkon likes much of anything.” Dude, the man doesn’t even like his son. Not that I blame him, but that’s beside the point.  Though Merla losing her evil feelings, that’s intriguing. And she wants to help Lotor. Lance doesn’t. Can’t blame him.

72 has me at “ew” with thinking of Lotor having nephews. The nephews aren’t ew, but this implies that Lotor has siblings which implies that Zarkon’s procreated more than once. Or his mother but... do we know anything about his mom? I don’t know. But the idea of Zarkon procreating more than once is ew. It was weird seeing Lotor want to help. I’m so used to him being a creepy evil bastard with his hair being his only redeeming quality. Oh. Betraying the team. Yeah, that’s what I’m used to. And Lotor pulling the mask off of “Zarkon” to reveal Cossack, it felt like a Scooby-Doo episode.  Good bye planet Doom! I missed you not! Good rid-wait... what? It was a phony? And Zarkon’s alive?  QUIZNAK! Please tell me there will be closure to all of this in Fleet of Doom.

Anyway, that’s it for the night. According to the site I’m watching from, there aren’t anymore episodes, just Fleet of Doom. I hope that’s the case.  Until next time!