#i know all the general details of what happens. i just dont want to hurt while reading it Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[xo2dee]

Hewwo, ive been meaning to ask

But can i request a really angsty oneshot of dante x reader(mutual pining but no one makes the first move cause they scared), where they're both demon hunters in the same organization but a mission goes wrong and reader dies? Its totally fine if you dont want to write it. Just a thought! Thank you for your time <3

PAIRING: Dante/Reader. WARNINGS: MDNI/18+ ONLY. Major Character Death, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Gore. WORD COUNT: 2,111.

A/N: thank you for the request! and anonie you're actually real for requesting this bc this is a high probability of an event happening to dante. and i love angst and hurt with no comfort teehee.

DMC MASTERLIST

Death and the concept of time were two things he thought about often. Usually when he sat alone at his desk lost in thought before his eyes closed to sleep, Dante’s mind would linger to those two topics and the hands he had in both of them.

And, disturbingly enough, sometimes he only thought about them when you came around.

It wasn’t like he wished death on you – no, far from it, it was more so he worried about the prospect of it happening to you way too much than he would’ve liked to admit or even think about. You were basically his partner (cough… in the coworker sense anyways), some skill you retained from someone else that he maneuvered around to make sure you were in sync on jobs together. It had not been his ideal gameplan to take in a human partner, knowing the consequences if he were ever too get too close to you and something were to happen to you (again…), but you’d been like a magnet for him, and he found it so hard to keep you at a distance in case Dante’s teasing started to become real and then the reason why his heart skipped a beat was you. He just couldn’t help himself, the want and need to retain as much humanity as he could beating him out before he was pining just for one glance from you, and he felt so very pathetic the more it went on.

Seriously… it’d taken some time and some soul searching before Dante got to that point too. 

How long had you and Dante known each other? The answer was simple: a long time; a very, long time, and long enough for Dante to realize he’d made the same mistake again that he’d done over and over.

He’d gotten attached to you – you, a human. And not that there was anything wrong with you being a human or humans in general, but there was one glaring topic about humans as a whole to Dante that made him stray away from getting too attached to them. How easy it was for humans to die – their bodies not built the way Dante’s was and subjected to more harm if they were to be hurt in any way. However, Dante had never been a stranger to that as well; Nell Goldstein’s death still weighed heavy within his mind as he could feel his throat constrict from the memory of the fire as he held her body, but every time he downed a glass of amber whiskey sitting at his desk and his eyes strayed towards the beautiful portrait of his mother perched up just in front of him reminded him why he kept humans at arm’s length and kept them safe from a distance.

Too many enemies he’d made… Too many demons around… Having someone special by his side wasn’t ideal, but Dante found himself keeping you around regardless of the gnawing in his gut that something terrible was on the horizon.

It started with a job, one you’d snatched from his hands with a grin as you read out the letter for his ears to hear, then once you’d done that and announced you’d be joining him, that was when he started to feel nauseous – and Dante did not get nauseous. Maybe it was the details in it that had him twirling a strand of his hair around his finger and him bouncing his knee (not his habit at all), or maybe it was just the feelings speaking for him that was muddling his mind, but he pushed them to the side at seeing your excitement for it and let the stutter in his heart take over what his gut was telling him. It paid well too, and that was enough to give you your pay before he paid for any damages and then blew it on junk food, but that still didn’t quell Dante’s nerves for whatever they were telling him. Instead he focused on you at least, entrapped in your smile and the scent of your shampoo to soothe him for the time being.

And perhaps… that had been the issue in itself – he was too distracted.

The job was easy enough as well, almost boring if he was being serious with himself, yet that itch was ever so persistent. He kept his eye on you of course, watching you move nearly flawlessly from the corner of his eyes, multitasking like he usually did before it got too hectic for him to keep you in his line of sight. Hordes of demons were the worst, especially when they liked teleport and had more speed than strength, but you were a good enough demon hunter by yourself so he was normally eager to let you do your own thing – yet, even as he grunted and flipped the Rebellion around in his hands until the blade embedded itself into throat of another, something told him to not look away.

However, even he had to maintain his focus when fighting demons. Especially when he decided to eventually turn his back to despite all the warnings his instincts had been giving him. He was never one to ignore them, but he was also one to keep you as a safe and protected as he could, so he figured if turning his back to you for just a moment to clear the area of what he could to keep them off your back, it was a better alternate and a way to quell the sickness brewing within his gut. Maybe if just a for a moment, he could stop the unease ripping into his throat.

And so, Dante turned his back to you, taking his eyes off of you for just a few moments to clear the path of any heading your way. And he learned that he been another of his greatest mistakes.

Dante hadn’t been looking when it happened, Ebony’s rounds embedded into the skull of one demon as he gutted another with the Rebellion, but something awful cracked in his ears before he heard it – a nasty slick, like flesh being opened unwarranted before the gurgled whimper reached his ears next, then the nausea from before heightened tenfold when he smelt it. Blood… Through all the demonic innards spattered across the pavement, the scent of the forest in the sky, and then the lingering scent of your shampoo, he could smell blood. And it wasn’t just anyone’s blood – it was human blood.

Your blood.

“Shit.”

An understatement of a reaction at best, but Dante was thinking it was only a scratch from a talon too deep making it bleed, and once he’d disposed of them all in an irritated gait full of speed and a raw display of strength before he got to set his sights on you, he realized how big an underreaction it actually had been. You’d still managed to put up a fight against the demon that had attacked you, and through all the blood and the viscera spattered along the ground, Dante’s dread and fear grew to an all time high once he noticed the position of your body and the demon you had managed to kill in the process. And then he understood just why the scent of your blood had been so strong…

The claws had all but shredded through your abdomen enough plunge past your organs and carve out your spine, effectively impaling you – effectively destroying you. The noise he had heard had been the demon attacking you, and you hadn’t even screamed the slightest bit when it happened… but Dante was sure the crack in his ears had been the sound of your spine breaking in half when it’s hand embedded itself way too deep and too hard through you. You were a goner before he even realized it, but Dante was too hard-pressed to get to you as he kicked the corpse of the demon away from you the moment he was near and folded you into his embrace. He was on autopilot for the moment, but the mere seconds later he could feel death’s embrace already begin to chill your skin.

With you cradled in his arms he watched the gurgle of blood spit up from your mouth as you tried to speak, wincing himself at the wet sound from your throat before he tried to reassure you, “Hey, hey, hey, you’re alright…” It was lies, and even with how fast he was, Dante would never make it in time to get you help… Not with he rate that you were bleeding and the severity of your injury. You were nearly… in half… A feat he could pull himself together from, but not one you could do.

A wet cough spat a round of blood onto his shirt, making him lean back onto the tree behind him as he slid to sit and to make you any more comfortable before you sighed and rolled your head against his chest with slowing breaths. “Dante… I can’t feel my legs.”

Maybe it was then he understood the gravity of the situation, then he felt the sting in his eyes before it was rapidly blinked it away in favor of looking at what he had done head-on. If only he had gotten to you in time… you wouldn’t be bleeding out dying in his arms, looking up at him with a smile that shouldn’t have looked as warm as it felt for his heart. He could only sigh as his heart stuttered in a song of melancholic familiarity, resting his cheek atop your head as he pulled further into his body – almost hoping the heat from his body would give you some type of comfort. “I know.”

You hummed, and surprisingly had enough strength to place your hand over his for your own sense of comfort as you started to speak a little quieter, “I don’t regret anything.”

Your hand was cold, and your heartbeat was slowing down. Dante closed his eyes, savoring the scent of your shampoo and the sound of your heartbeat for one last time. “I know.”

“And it’s not your fault…” He had no answer for that, not trusting himself enough to say the right thing for you in the moment of lasting need, and he couldn’t bring himself to tell you just how wrong you were. Though when he didn’t answer you for a few seconds, you sighed again and the hold you had on his hand slightly loosened as you head began to sag in its spot. It would only be moments before you were gone… However, you had one last parting gift that completely shattered him and his heart and ruined his outlook for the rest of the time he was alive. “Dante, know that I’ve loved you for a long time.”

He couldn’t help the shaky laugh at the confession, heart shattered and mind elated at the same time for the recuperation of his hidden feelings that he had been too late to give. Perhaps it was his bad luck in the end, or maybe he was the universe’s cosmic plaything, because as gratifying as it was to hear that come from you, he couldn’t help but hate himself in the end for it. “How cruel… Leavin’ a man like this.”

Your last breath was wet, ragged, and soft as he heard the smile in your voice before you left him from the presence of one final joke. “You can forgive me… can’t you?”

Always. “…Yeah.”

Your body went lax the moment he said it, the finality in the beat of your heart a sound that would haunt him in his nightmares for the rest of his life as he could only pull you closer and hold you for the first time… and the last. You were human. Maybe it was to be expected, or maybe that’s what he got for getting involved into humans lives instead of keeping them safe from a distance. Death followed him everywhere, no one was safe. Dante only sighed as the sting in his eyes tightened his throat with them, not sure how long he would stay there with you until he was ready to carry you back, before he swore off any more attachments in the future. Not when he’d lost the one person he’d found and loved – and loved him back. Then again, it was his fault… Wasn’t it?

He only looked to the night sky, the stars in their betrayal beautiful before a lone one seemed to die out, taking you and the entirely of Dante’s heart with it.

And I love you too. Always.

[mysumeow]

. . . ꒰ FOUND WOUNDED

Warnings: afab genitalia, gender neutral pronouns. PIV unprotected sex, Lilia takes a dominant role throughout the smut, hair pulling (reader giving), overstimulation (reader receiving), cunnilingus. not proofread it is what it is.

Summary: Out of the kindness of your heart —and naivety mixed in— you nurse back to health the injured fae you came across with in the forest.

Word count: 3.7k

A/N: if you find a mistake just ➖➖ close your eyes like that and pretend you dont see it. my contribution for general lilia lovers (myself included💗)

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ 🌷 . . KOFI | NEXT

At first, General Lilia was like a feral cat when you tried to get close to him.

Injured and almost unconscious; that was how you had found him. A gaping wound on his abdomen. Regardless of his blurry vision, he could still make out the smell of a human.

Thus, through deep breaths and pained winces, he demanded that you not come closer. Those demands were accompanied by curses and hisses, of course.

Perhaps you were naive or had no sense of self-preservation, or both, because despite his refusal to receive aid, you carried him on your back.

Had the fae been in better condition, you wouldn't have made one step forward without some inconvenience happening.

Lilia's first instinct, when he awoke the next day, was to attempt to flee before you realized he was up. Granted, the pain from recent battle wounds sliced through his being, rendering him to fall back on the bed.

His heartbeat picked up once he saw you walking into the room, kicking the door shut, and carrying breakfast in your hands.

The fae's words were nothing short of disdainful, accompanied by threats.

You were aware of the complex human-fae relationships and weren't surprised by his outburst. Instead, you ignored his empty words, left the breakfast on the little nightstand next to the bed, and left.

Although the general wasn't pleased at the fact you dismissed his words as if he were blabbering, he himself knew he wouldn't hurt a defenseless human like yourself. He's willing to turn a blind eye to those that aren't part of the Silver Owl's; after all, you weren't an immediate threat to him.

He sighed, turning to look at the source of the appealing aroma on the nightstand.

He wasn't that hungry, right? He could just wait a while longer, just to establish a sense of power over you—he didn't need you as much as you thought he did.

The grumbling from his stomach made his thoughts pause.

By lunch time, you decided it was a reasonable idea to check back on the fae you rescued yesterday.

The plate was clean, as you expected.

Without sharing another word, you gathered the plate and the utensils to head back to the kitchen, until the fae’s low voice and dry manner of speaking interrupted you.

“You know our kind have had conflicts of interest, right?” You couldn’t identify any sort of hostility or ill-intent from him when he spoke his mind.

“I...” You stopped to wonder if you actually considered that detail when you decided to bring this stranger into the safety of your home. “I wouldn’t be able to turn my back on someone who’s about to die,”

Lilia stared at you; you couldn’t discern how he took the comment.

“Hmph,” he said, crossing his arms. “You humans underestimate faes. I’ve survived worse wounds. This is nothing in comparison.”

“Yeah, yeah. You're, oh, so dangerous, and I'm, oh, so fragile. Please don’t kill me, Mr. Fae,” you feigned a squeakier voice. You reveled in amusement at his displeased expression. Suddenly, you realized you didn’t even know his name. “By the way, I don’t know what to call you.”

For a moment, Lilia considered not telling you. He would flee this place as soon as he could, so what was the point? He reasoned. Despite that, he figured that you would be more fearful of him if he revealed his name, as everyone knew the title that was accompanied by it.

“Or do you want me to keep calling you Mr. Fae?” You kept poking fun at him.

“I’m Lilia Vanrouge. Does the name ring any bells to you?”

You stopped for a moment to think.

“To be honest, no.”

Lilia wondered how you were still alive at this point, being so detached from the current events going on. You had just enough information to know about the war that was going on.

Unbelievable. He shook his head before looking down at the bandages wrapped around his lower abdomen.

The dull pain that comes from wounds was still present, albeit less than yesterday. He made an effort to sit up on the bed and undid the bandages, wanting to check the wound. If he applied less strength than usual, the sting was bearable.

You stitched his lesion while he was unconscious. Even though your work was decent, he couldn’t help but wish there were fairies nearby who could speed up the healing process. He couldn’t stop thinking back on his troops, the princess, his kind—they needed him right now.

Lilia’s troubled pondering stopped when you came back.

“I was just about to ask how you were feeling. The stitches haven’t opened, right?” You dabbed the rag into the water, looking to use the piece of cloth to clean up any dirt or blood that might’ve been left over from the prior day.

“Halt, human,” he tried to scurry away, flustered. “I can do it myself. I managed to eat on my own. I don’t need your help. Wait outside,”

“Okay, but you still should clean the rest of your body. I thought I could help you walk to the bathroom so you can use the shower,” you said, placing a hand on your chin. “Will you be able to reach your back? Bend enough to clean your legs?”

Lilia narrowed his eyes, partly out of suspicion. “If I were you, I’d be more cautious of a stranger,” he sighed. “I’ll allow you to help me clean my back. The rest, I can manage. Try anything funny, and I’ll make sure you’ll regret it,”

“Anything funny? You mean killing you? Do you think I would go to these lengths just to murder you?”

“My point stands.”

You guided the fae towards your bathroom; you left him alone so he could undress and wash what he could without your help. Once he was done, he called to you, where he was waiting, sitting on the wooden bathroom’s stool with a towel wrapped around his hips.

He didn’t acknowledge you entering; he just sat there in silence, waiting for you to pour water on his scarred back. Some scars were new, some were old, and others were fading.

His ears flicked when he heard you sit behind him.

The session was…awkward, to say the least. You both were quiet, and you wondered what he was thinking about during his silence. You resisted the urge to trace the scars on his back. You surmised that it must be a sensitive topic for him. You knew about the hardships of war, but having a glimpse of the surface of them awakened a sense of pity for him.

You slid the rag along his back. Albeit having a thin frame, there was some tonification...

He shivered, interrupting both your train of thoughts and your languid movements.

“You done?” he asked, looking at you over his shoulder.

“Yes,” you answered curtly, ashamed of yourself for allowing your mind to wander that much.

From then on, having the general living under the same roof was...an experience. To you, he seemed to have some sort of internal conflict when speaking to you; sometimes, he would speak in a kinder way, and at other times, he would go back to his withdrawn and indifferent attitude.

Like he was afraid of getting too attached soon.

You would tease him, proclaiming that he had developed a soft spot for you. He would either roll his eyes, huff, or deny, until he stopped paying attention to your “pointless ramblings” (as he called them). You couldn’t help but find amusement at the idea of this fae getting tired of your teasing and preferring to ignore them.

Of course, the general would rather die than admit his days in relative leisure with you were quite endearing—he wouldn’t admit his true feelings to himself either—as having someone looking out for you was a change of pace for his days of solitude. Solitude comes in the form of having no one else but himself to rely on.

For a human such as yourself to be selfless enough to nurse him back to health, even if not necessary until a certain point, made you stand out over the rest of the past human interactions he’d experienced.

Avarice and thoughtlessness were, after all, the reasons why the fae clashed with humanity.

Alack, he couldn’t stay here with you for the rest of his life.

Basking in the last rays of sunlight, sitting on the fresh grass as you shared a meal, you didn’t expect Lilia to have a gloomy expression.

“You’re going back to your military camp?”

“The war isn’t over yet. I’ve wasted enough time waiting for my wounds to heal,” Absentmindedly, his hands hovered over where the gaping wound once was. “You’ve been…”

“Hm?” You directed your focus to him, expecting him to finish his sentence while you munched on a slice of bread.

“I’ll give it to you. You’ve been helpful, but also annoying. I wouldn’t have imagined someone to have the ability to both heal and damage someone at the same time,” he took a sip of the tea and turned his head away in agitation.

“Would it hurt too much to just say ‘thank you’?” You rolled your eyes.

“Thank you,” he agreed, so you would drop the topic.

The sun had long since set, the single light source coming from your home. Lilia gave one last glance at your profile, noticing you were deep in thought.

He opened his mouth to tell you he was going inside again. Then he closed it again, thinking maybe you didn’t want to be disturbed by whatever you were reflecting on.

For the past few weeks, stress over how his troops were doing has built up. The general couldn’t wait any longer to go back to them.

He departed that same night.

Lilia took a quick look at the bedroom he has been staying in, checking if there was anything he should take with him before departing.

Alongside his mask, he wielded his magical lithic with practiced ease. 

He placed a hand on the window and pulled the lower panel up to open it. With a foot already on the windowsill, he hesitated.

I haven’t said goodbye to...

Almost as if driven by instinct, he went back to the living room, where he last saw you a couple of hours before.

At first, he didn’t see you. He rationalized that you were in your bedroom now; however, a soft snore made him realize that wasn’t the case.

Sprawled on the couch. Blanket on the floor. Your head is almost falling off the edge of said furniture.

That’s how he found you sleeping.

He deadpanned, reaching down towards the blanket on the floor and draping it over your sleeping form.

Did Lilia feel at fault that he didn’t get to say goodbye? Yes. Nevertheless, the fae was set on answering the call of his obligations before letting himself realize it.

Being a proper general like him, he located the camp with ease. Every single one of his comrades celebrated his return.

Now, this was an environment he was used to. It felt right; this was what he was familiar with.

And despite that, he couldn’t shake you off his thoughts. Not even the next day.

His mind kept reeling back on the idea of heading towards your small cottage to apologize.

Lilia groaned in frustration, turning around on the makeshift bed inside his tent. He stared at the walls, asking himself if it made sense for him to have these feelings.

Humans are weak. I should check on that human. Yeah, that’s it. That human is clumsy.

While putting on his armor and tying the knots in their places, he couldn’t believe himself—he was going back just to see you.

It was past midnight. Perhaps it wasn’t the best time to go see you, but he hoped you were up. He remembered that you tend to stay up past that hour.

He found himself smiling fondly at the memory before his smile dropped at the smell of smoke and fire in the distance.

With a racing heart, Lilia hurried to where he knew your home was.

Engulfed by fire.

The orange embers reflected on Lilia’s eyes as he gawked at the unbelievable sight. Soon, his attention was brought back to unknown faces inspecting around the perimeter. He identified the silver armor, and Lilia didn’t waste any more time acting.

“The general!” One of them shouted, the others unsheathed their swords, and they prepared to attack.

By the sound of it, Lilia supposed that this was an ambush, since it appeared that they were after him and set the house on fire to have a better chance of hunting him down.

“Where’s the human?!” Lilia demanded, pushing the lithic blade against the soldier he trapped.

“Calcinated, perhaps,” he spat.

As she was about to slice him open, something stopped Lilia.

With a hand on his arm, you managed to halt his movements. Had you come any later, the soldier would’ve had his neck chopped.

You didn’t give him a chance to question you; rather, you pulled him away from the burning place and into the forest.

To say the fae was speechless was a way to put it—he was baffled. Up until a certain moment, he managed to regain his composure and grab you by the shoulders.

“Why didn’t you let me end him?!” He shook you. “You allowed those pesky pests to get away with it!”

“Lilia—”

“What?!”

“You’re digging your nails. It hurts.”

His arms dropped back to his sides, as if you were scalding hot.

“Now what’re you going to do? Your home…”

“I have no other choice other than traveling back to town.”

“Alone? In the middle of a war? You’re lucky enough I was willing to spare you, but I can’t guarantee other faes will do the same,” Again, his hands were on you. “You’re coming with me,”

Your mind stalled.

“Huh?” You followed him when he began heading in a direction only he knew where it ended. “Are you accompanying me towards the town?”

“Do I look like someone who has that much time to spare?” He squeezed your hand more. “I’ll take you to my camp,”

You stopped walking, pulling on his hand.

“You can’t be serious. Aren’t they going to kill me?”

“Dare anyone lay a hand on you, I’ll return the action tenfold.”

“How are you so sure they won’t dare hurt me?”

“Because I’m their general.”

“So, when were you planning on telling me that minuscule detail?” Your voice became increasingly louder as you spoke from shock. “That all this time, I’ve had the general in my home?!”

“You’re going to attract an enemy’s attention. Shut up,” he said, covering your mouth with his hand. “Let’s get going,”

You managed to escape unscathed from the fire but were exhausted from the stress of having to flee. You hugged yourself while you followed the general, fending off the chill of the night that was starting to seep into your being.

There was someone waiting by the camp’s entrance, and Lilia knew who that was.

“General, there you are!” The man’s green eyes fixed on you; sheer disdain reflected on them upon seeing you. “What’s that human doing here? They didn’t harm you, right?!”

“Quiet, Baur! This human is coming with me,” Lilia looked at you for a second. “This person is... who found me wounded back then,”

It seemed as if Lilia had mentioned you to this fae named Baur before your meeting.

“I trust you’ll keep this a secret. If the soldiers ask why this human is with us, tell them that they’re being held hostage to aid with manual labor,” Lilia had made up his mind. There was no way he would let you dive into danger.

“General… I trust your judgment above all, but—”

“My decision isn’t up for debate.”

Baur shifted his gaze back on you, unconvinced of the general’s judgment. Regardless, he recognized his position and didn’t object further.

You were drowsy. You didn’t notice you followed Lilia into his tent.

Lilia, too, occupied with his own musings, didn’t bat an eye at the arrangement.

"It would be a better idea if—" he turned around and saw you had already made yourself comfortable on his bed. You had shrugged your coat off in a messy manner, one sleeve still up your shoulder.

Acting out what felt natural, he kneeled on the makeshift mattress and finished pulling the sleeve off your body. Then he grabbed the blanket to place it over you, but you stopped him by putting your hand on his cheek.

"You look tired too," you noted with a whisper.

"Not more than you."

"My body's exhausted, but my mind's wide awake still," You moved your hand away from his cheek and reached behind him to slide the hair tie off. His ponytail became undone, locks of hair falling on either side of his face.

His hand snatched yours, albeit his face was flushed and his ears red. He held your gaze, bodies rising in temperature, until he couldn’t hold it anymore and leaned down to kiss you. It started as a vehement desire to demonstrate the feelings bottled up inside.

You weren’t faring any better, hugging him close to you despite how his fangs would bite down on your lip, almost drawing blood from his eagerness. Lilia rested his weight atop yours, pinning you down against the bed, hands wandering around your torso and squeezing what he could.

Breathless, Lilia pulled away, panting, his fangs peeking.

Intrigued by their shape, your thumb touched the pointy edge, feeling its puncture on the surface.

“Your fangs. They’re very sharp,” Your thumb moved away from the impressive canine teeth, preferring to graze it across his reddened bottom lip.

“Keep touching me like that, and I’ll use them to leave marks on that pretty neck of yours.”

You swiped your finger over his lip again.

His hand went straight to your head and pulled to expose your neck; a soft mewl escaped you. In no time, restless hands undid each other’s clothes in a haze. Lilia reminded you to avoid waking up the slumbering soldiers with your constant moans.

Had his mouth not been occupied slurping and sucking your clit, he would’ve had to control his voice too; Lilia had told you to get on top of him, baring your pussy in the most vulnerable way possible by placing your knees on either side of his head. You started by trying to not suffocate him, fearing that it might be too much—Lilia couldn’t care any less about that since he pulled you closer by your hips.

Sloppy—the very image of starving and making a mess between your legs. He guided your hips to move in backward and forward motions, just making it harder for you to quiet down. 

“Lilia,” you tried to warn him of your approaching orgasm.

One hand tightened on your hips when he sensed you trying to get off, while the other slid up the small of your back to push you forward, making it easier for him to reach your clit.

“I’m going to cum, Lilia. Please,” You weren’t even sure what you were asking for, but your hips trembled, and you didn't want that satisfaction to end.

You bit down on your hand to silence yourself when you reached your climax.

However, Lilia’s hunger wasn’t satiated. You felt as if he was about to pounce on you, which wasn’t far-fetched, because he proceeded to change positions and push you on your back.

You couldn’t hold back your whimpers as Lilia kept teasing your sensitive clit, trying to tell him you were still coming down from your orgasm, but your own mind betrayed you. Lilia’s grin was fiendish, adoring the way you were so responsive to him.

“That was all it took to get this pussy this drenched?” He fingered your hole, and beyond indecent sounds came from there. “Listen to that. You’re beyond soaked. Even the insides of your thighs are covered with your cum. Didn’t you enjoy that a little too much?” he teased.

“F-Fuck, shut up,” your cheeks burned from embarrassment.

He wasn’t better off himself either. Beads of precum both roll down his dick and drip on your thigh. With the same hand he masturbated you with, he used your slick to further lubricate his cock, even if it wasn’t necessary given how wet you were.

He aligned it with your entrance and pushed in, panting from how good you felt to him. The moment he was completely inside, he began thrusting with unparalleled pace. You bit your lip, along with teary eyes, making your best attempt at keeping your voice down. Lilia noticed you struggling and bent down to shut you up with his own lips. For that instance, the tempo staggered but was still thrusting hard.

Through your foggy mind, you wondered how such a slim body like his was able to muster this much force at such a rapid pace. How a fae with a pretty and charming face like his could be this debauched...

“Ah…” he moaned against your neck, hunger overriding any sense of rationality. Lilia hid his face in your neck, licking and kissing it.

Without you needing to tell him, the general busied his hand with your clit again, pushing you closer to an orgasm. At this point, he went back to that sloppy tempo, and your hands darted to his disheveled hair, tugging those lovely locks of magenta and black hair. You tugged slightly harder without you discerning as you orgasmed, your body quivering from the intensity of the climax. A small grunt left him and came shortly after you.

After a while of catching his breath, he pulled away and lied down next to you.

“You’re lucky these soldiers are heavy sleepers, and my tent isn’t close to theirs.”

You covered your face, realizing that you were basically surrounded by more faes. “I don’t want to show my face to them,”

Essentially, the soldiers were heavy sleepers thanks to the weariness of having to train early in the day, do manual work, fight, run up and down the mountain, and everything else. They didn’t hear a thing. As for Baur, however...

[mangionebabymama]

https://www.tumblr.com/mangionebabymama/785034496792756224/i-have-the-theory-that-karen-and-marc-are-doing

I think u sugarcoat and glossify things sometimes mama.

There’s a high chance his family is upset with him and I would too if as a mother I gave him everything in this world. Education which was a huge investment and I do not believe they forced their children to become the « heir » of the business or whatever. One is a doctor the other an artist and they let him work in data which is so far from knowing business etc They most likely gave them the freedom to study what they want only for him to then do this and now instead of being a relaxed retired couple in peace they have to deal with his huge mistake. His father is +70, his mother is not going to be able to deal with the stress of her son possibly dying, most likely life in prison. Cortisol over the roof. This is disgusting and selfish from Luigi’s pov and I love him and nobody’s perfect but that’s something I’ve always thought about. How selfish, how disgusting to hurt them in that way. If they dont want to deal with fund and investing in his case I’d totally understand. I myself would certainly fight for DP charge to be off the table and then rest that’s on him. You make your choices in life you deal with them like an adult. Parents can only do so much they have to be left the fuck alone

Maybe they are quite upset with him and don’t want to deal with the fund or invest in it. I’m saying this because, honestly, we just don’t know. We genuinely have no idea what they’re doing, how they’re feeling, or how they’ve felt about Luigi these last few months. We aren’t them. It’s not our business to know fully, and we’ve only heard a general public statement from them after the murder happened. If it’s the complete opposite of what that anon said—and of what I also mentioned in response—then that’s that. There’s no doubt that all of this is extremely stressful for them, no matter what.

If it’s the case that they don’t want to be involved, I completely understand and you illustrated some examples here that might explain why they aren’t. I can’t blame them bc that’s a position we’ll never fully comprehend, and they don’t deserve to be in a place of experiencing all this traumatic pain and uncertainty. But if it’s not the case, again, it’s not our business to know.

We don’t even know for sure how the story of Luigi distancing himself from his family over the last few months unfolded, because it simply isn’t our business to know in detail. Sure, we can discuss, wonder, and maybe speculate, but we can’t definitively conclude anything when we’re not directly involved.

In the end, it isn’t fair to jump to conclusions. Unfortunately, some supporters tend to often hold Luigi to an impossibly high standard, and if they hear that his family is “holding him accountable”, upset with him, or unwilling to be involved with the case (which, again, I would completely understand if that’s true), they might criticize or condemn his family for it. In their eyes, Luigi can do no wrong. That leads to people saying hurtful things about his family, which is unfair and wrong. We don’t know the full story of what happened between them, and it’s not our place to insert ourselves into their private business, even if it has now become major news.

[ranhaitanisgf]

Hello, can we get cuddling and just sweet head canons with Souya? 🥹

a sweet day in!!

synopsis: how does souya like to cuddle with his s/o?

☆ a/n ˎˊ˗ hello anon thank you for requesting !! this is pretty short but sweet, so i dont have much to add ! hope you all enjoy and have an amazing day !! xoxo

☆ characters ˎˊ˗ souya [angry] kawata x g/n!reader

☆ wc ˎˊ˗ 700+

masterlist

❥ souya is 100% the little spoon most of the time, and this is not arguable!! he loves to be held in your arms, (although he’s very shy about admitting it) and he finds having your presence right behind him to be very comforting. this position sometimes changes when he turns around, in which he’ll wrap his arms around your waist and have his head tucked underneath your head, (his hair gets in your face, but you will never ever admit that to him). 

❥ he tends to slowly trace different shapes and words on your back, which can sometimes lead to impromptu naps when you really aren’t supposed to be napping, (usually leads to the two of you waking up in a panic when nahoya bangs on the door asking why you still haven’t gone home yet). 

❥ definitely mumbles random things in his sleep, which can be quite amusing to listen to. 

“...th..ramen…(y/n)...”  “huh? souya?”  “...no, the…pepper…”  “oh, okay.”

❥ absolutely adores whenever you play with his hair! he doesn’t care what you do with it whether you braid it, brush it, or just mess with it in general, he never wants you to stop. if you do stop, he won’t say anything, but he’ll have a bit of a frown and will put your hand back on his head in hopes that you’ll continue. 

❥ on the same note, he also likes to play with your hair as well! he’s extremely gentle with it because he doesn’t want there to be any chance of hurting you, so he’s either smoothing his hand over your hair or lightly massaging your scalp, (he doesn’t have a reason behind this aside from the fact that you seem to enjoy it). 

❥ it is a common occurrence for the two of you to be playing video games while cuddling! he’s specifically set up his ps2, gamecube and television in front of his bed, which makes for a perfect cuddling / gaming session! contrasting his usual little spoon position, he will actually sit you right between his legs and will tuck your head under his chin while the two of you play. 

❥ your go-to games are mario party, mario kart, and animal crossing, (for when the two of you are tired and want to play a relaxing game). surprisingly, you guys never really use the ps2, most of the games you two play being nintendo! 

❥ souya is very sweet, so the the most he will do when he is losing in a game is grumble under his breath and hold you a little bit tighter. he still enjoys every second of it though!

❥ in relation to this, the two of you will cuddle while doing almost any hobby such as this! it usually depends on your mood, but it can range from anything; gaming, reading manga, or eating snacks and watching a show. 

❥ he makes sure to be stocking up on all your favorite snacks because of this! 

❥ when the two of you are reading manga together, you usually have to read a little bit slower because souya likes to soak in all the little details and moments that happen. it ends up being useful whenever you get confused about what’s happening since he’s able to explain it to you perfectly! 

❥ he’s a bit shy about it, but he’ll plant small kisses on your face from time to time when you’re asleep, (he thinks your face is so kissable, but he gets embarrassed when he kisses you and you’re watching him). 

❥ when you’re asleep, he does his best to not move around and not make any sound. he knows that life and school can be stressful, so he feels grateful that you trust him so much to fall asleep around him. because of this, he will genuinely not move a muscle; he would rather he has numb limbs than have you wake up. 

❥ adding on to this, the only thing he will move for will be so he can very slowly grab his phone and text nahoya to shut up. 

ssouyaa.12: shh murdersmile: dont tell me 2 sh ssouyaa.12: (y/n) is sleeping murdersmile: smh

❥ nahoya thinks you two are cute, but gross at the same time, (he will protect you two with his life but also wants to punt you both like a kickball).

[ducks-and-teapots]

The Great Wave Chapter 15 Review!

This is my review of the new chapter(i've never done a review before so dont expect much lol)

Spoilers under the cut!

Well, this chapter was great! from the art and all of the little details in each panel to the suspense that had me in the edge of my seat, truly amazing

I'm not really familiar with the Dofus lore(I havent finished Aux Tresors or seen the movie yet) but i have a general idea of what happens

So when i tell you that I ALMOST EXPLODED WHEN LILOTTE APPEARED I mean it

If you haven't read the chapter and/or dont know who Lilotte is, allow me to explain;

This chapter beggins in the city of Bonta, showing the crowded streets, until Kerubim's Bazaar(i wonder if its still called that?) appears, showing Kerubim and Atcham napping in the front.

I think its something curious how these two ended up being a rather lazy version of their former selves(again, i havent finished Aux Tresors so what im saying probably doesnt make sense but idk), in fact even Joris points it out in season 4 and in this chapter, which takes me back to the baazar.

A costumer appears and asks Kerubim if they are opened, and he responds that yes, she can enter and his "little salesman" will assist her, before he can finish, Joris can be heard(he actually can't be heard because its a webtoon, but for the purposes of this little review he can) shouting, calling both Atcham and Kerub.

Inside of the bazaar, Joris can be seen hilariously, although not unjustifiably, panicking over the many clients and questions he's being asked at the same time.

Which leads him to calling his "sons", and seeing that they didn't come, having to go outside and suggesting them(or rather yelling) that they come to help him(their dinamic is so funny

kind of doomed tho)

Atcham and Kerubim, instead, tell him that its the rheumatism, which, quoting Atcham, "hurts a lot". Joris, unbothered(or amused??? idk you tell me what this expression is

At least he wasnt possesed lmao) asks them the rheumatism??? yesterday it was the gout, the day before yesterday arthritis and when it isnt digestion problems, its the motivation(damn, they rlly dont want to help 😭)

THEN, A HOODED FIGURE EXITS THE BAZAAR FAST, JORIS NOTICES IT AND GRABS THEM BY THE ARM, AND TELLS THEM THAT HE DOESNT REMEMBER THEM IN THE CHECKOUT SO I GUESS YOURE A THIEF, AND TAKES OUT OF THEIR HAND A RING(? idk it was a round small thing) AND TAKES OUT THEIR HOOD, AND ITS LILOTTE????????

BUT THAT CANT BE BECAUSE SHE DIED??????? WHAT IS HAPPENING????(btw, Lilotte is Joris' childhood friend, she was there when all the stuff with Julith happened, but i haven't seen the movie so thats what i know[feel free to put info about her in the comments/reblogs!], and the reason bc she's dead is because all of this happened in the Dofus era, meaning before Ogrest flooded the world and CENTURIES AGO)

SO SHE SHOUTS LET GO OF ME AND POOR JORIS IS SO SURPRISED THAT HE ALMOST DOES SO, BECAUSE IMAGINE THAT ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS, THAT YOU THOUGHT WERE DEAD UNTIL TODAY, APPEARS IN YOUR HOME, TO ROB YOU??? WHICH OBVIOUSLY IS IMPOSSIBLE BC SHE EVEN HAS DESCENDANTS??? AND ALL OF THESE THINGS MUST HAVE PASSED THROUGH JORIS' MIND SO QUICKLY, AND MAYBE HE REMEMBERS OTHER FRIENDS HE HAD, AND ALL OF IT AND AHHHHHHH

SO OBVIOUSLY HE IS CONFUSED AND SHE TAKES THE OPPORTUNITY AND TAKES THE RING-THING AND RUNS AWAY[Though, now that im thinking abt it, Louis(the house/bazaar which is a shushu) must have recognized her too :( ]

AND JORIS IS THERE STANDING WITH THE HOOD SHE HAD AND LOOKS ALMOST SCARED, BUT THEN KERUB AND ATCHAM ASK HIM IF HES OKAY, AND THEN THERES A CLOSE UP OF JORIS AND HE LOOKS SO SADDD

BUT HE QUICKLY CHANGES HIS EXPRESSION(or tries to) AND TELLS THEM ITS OKAY KIDS I JUST GOT THE IMPRESSION OF GOING CENTURIES BACK... ATTEND THE CLIENTS I WILL RETURN WHEN I CAN, HE SAYS, WHILE HE LOOKS AT THE HOOD IN HIS HANDSSS!!!!

AND THEN HE LEAVES RUNNING!!!!!!

AND THEN WE SEE LILOTTE RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS UNTIL SHE GOES TO THE SEWERS AND SHE ARRIVES TO A UNDERGROUND ECAFLIP SHELTER???(or something like that) AND SHE GOES TO THIS FIGURE WHO I GUESS LIKES SHINY STUFF BECAUSE THEY HAVE A LOT OF SHINY STUFF AROUND THEM!!!!

AND THEN THE CHAPTER ENDS!!!! IM GOING CRAZY!!!!!

Sorry for writing most of it in all-caps but i wanted to convey the suspense lol

Here are the theories I made so far!

1- Lilotte is not Lilotte(obviously) its actually Julith or

2- She is that ecaflip/ouginak from the thumbnail of chapter 17, who apparently can change form???

3- Or maybe she is just a random ouginak who looks a lot like Lilotte(a descendant?)

4- The guy that likes shiny stuff is a dragon(bonus points if its one of the primordials)

They are all BAD theories but oh well

Overall, this is the chapter that enjoyed the most(though last chapter was really pretty visually, and it showed the relationship between Dathura and Amalia greatly)

And i think thats all! I hope that you liked it, and maybe i will write another one for the next chapter :)

[generational-atrophy]

Hii I love your blog ♡ I dont know if you're still taking asks but if yes how would France, Germany and England react to a s/o telling them they had been abused and have ptsd?

hetalia france, germany, and england with a s/o who has ptsd

1.8k words ~ gender neutral headcanons / scenarios

tw: obvs. mentions of trauma but nothing specific

a/n: sorry for being gone so long. my life is like a poor little weasel getting hit by a big hammer rn. hope this lives up to ur expectations anon !!! <3

France

- When you tell him, he's not surprised. He's spent so much time around you that he had always had his suspicions.

- But even so, when you first revealed the details of what you had gone through... Francis couldn't stop himself from crying. Seeing you now, knowing how you had been hurt, just broke his heart.

”No one will ever treat you like that again, ok?“ Francis told you, his voice shaking as he held you tightly against his chest, ”Never. Not as long as you live.“

- Considering how soft he already is around you, his behaviour changes very little after that.

- But, now, whenever he has the inevitable urge to run away, he just can't. He remembers how people have treated you before, and realizes that he can't be selfish like that to you ever again. So, fights with Francis are going to be more like discussions in a therapist's office.

- He'd never raise his voice to you or blame you for anything you didn't intend to do. Having gone through similar trauma himself, he remembers how long it took for him to fully move on from that; so any emotional outbursts on your part are easily forgiven.

- But in general, he's just very forgiving.

- Although he may be a great boyfriend to someone with PTSD, he might also become a little more controlling. Events that he wouldn't have batted an eye at you attending before might become a problem, as he worries about you being able to protect yourself.

- Friends who he used to mildly dislike, he suddenly insists on you cutting off. It's like he thinks of you as some delicate flower. It's all with the best of intentions, but it will be annoying for a while.

- Other than that though, he'd be such a calm, comforting presence to a S/O with trauma.

It had been such a long time since you'd had a nightmare about being back there. You couldn't even remember what the dream was about, all you knew was that you were back there. Which was more than enough to rip you from your slumber, sending you into a panic you hadn't experienced in months.

But as you shot up, sweat dripping down your forehead and heart pumping, Francis was right there beside you. In a flash, he turned on the bedside lamp and shook himself out of his sleep, immediately turning to focus on you.

”Mon chéri, did it happen again?“ He asked softly, adjusting himself so he gave you plenty of space on the bed.

You nodded, and he only sighed, ”That's alright, Y/N, you're gonna get through this.“

Your hands still shook even as he tried to calm you down, your gaze flicking from side to side.

”Breath with me,  amour, breath with me...” He chided, resting a gentle hand against your chest.

“1... Breath in,” He took a deep breath,  making sure you followed along, ”Breath out.“

For the next few minutes, not a word was exchanged between you two other than Francis guiding you through slowing your panicked heart.

”You did so good, Y/N...“  Is all he says as your hands finally stop shaking, ”I'm so proud of you. That wasn't easy, alright? But you did perfectly.“

You can't help but smile at his incessant praises, ”Can we just go to sleep now?“

”Do you want me to hold you while you sleep?” He chuckles, leaning closer to you.

“Maybe...”

Germany

- Ludwig wouldn't be angry, he wouldn't be sad, he wouldn't get upset at all when you tell him about your abuse. At least, not outwardly. Internally he's about to stab someone, but to you, he's completely calm.

- He doesn't push you to explain more, but he does make it very clear that you can tell him everything. He won't judge you, he won't blame you, he won't invalidate anything, he just wants to exactly what happened so he can better help you.

- (He actually went to medical school, as well as getting a degree in psychology, so he knows what he's doing.)

- After that, he puts a lot of attention towards your triggers so he can help you deal with them as well as remove them as much as possible.

- He's coping with his own PTSD too, so any outbursts or instability is completely fine with him. He understands. He'd never take anything you say in the heat of the moment personally.

- Plus, he's like, never tired, so you can always call on him in an emergency. You're his top priority. Whatever you need to feel safe now, he doesn't mind helping with.

- He becomes a lot more protective as well. Whereas you two were a lot more independent from each other before, now he makes an effort to accompany you to anything that might make you upset. He just worries so much...

- If anyone or anything DOES upset you, he's releasing absolute hell onto that person. Normally he'd never make a scene, but with you? He is completely ok with making EVERYONE uncomfortable, just to make a point.

- Your problems and trauma don't bother him at all. If anything, he's glad to have a partner who can understand his struggles as well. You're both just moving past something as best as you can, and that's all that matters.

“It's been three years?” You thought to yourself as you sat still, staring out the window, ”It must've been less than that. No, it was just last month wasn't it?“

That's what you'd been telling yourself since you woke up. That day, it'd been three years since you had left. But it must've been some kind of trick. Some lie you'd been told. No, it couldn't've been.

So you sat, your dry eyes fixed on a swaying bush outside the window. If it had really been three years since then, then you must've been sitting for months. The house was quiet, and the weather was dreary. You hadn't eaten. Ludwig would be frustrated about that. But he wasn't here, so... it was alright.

Or at least, he shouldn't have been.

“Y/N?” Ludwig called out from somewhere else in the house. You didn't move. Even as his footsteps came closer and closer to where you sat, you didn't move.

“Liebling, are you ok?”

No response. He sighs, crouching down next to your chair.

“Is this because it's been three years?“

This time a response, as it seems like your body nodded involuntarily.

”Ah. I understand, my dear.“

He stood up again, setting down his bag from work.

”How long have you been sitting there?“

”I dunno...“ You croaked out, your voice clearly being out of use for quite a while.

”Do you want to keep sitting there?“

No response.

“Would you want to come walk Berlitz and the boys with me?“

A small nod. Ludwig walks over just to open the blinds a little more, just as the sun begins to shine into the room through a gap in the cloudy sky.

“Nice timing, isn't it?”

“Yeah...”

“Take your time getting ready. I'll be waiting downstairs whenever you want to go. I missed you today, Y/N.” And with that, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and walked downstairs.

England

- When you first told him, things didn't go... perfectly. Arthur is not a very comforting man in general, but when it comes to you, his love tends to manifest in, well... not the best ways.

- He became quite angry when you told him. Not because he was angry at you, but angry that someone could ever do that to you.

- But after he realized how that anger would have come across to you, he tried to explain away why he had reacted so harshly.

”Love, I- I didn't mean to... well, I'm not angry at you, ok? I promise. It's not like it was your damn fault! You're the victim! Of some- some twisted cunt-”

“Ok- but y-you're still yelling!”

“I'm not yelling at you- I'm yelling for you!”

- Don't worry, that's probably the last time he'll ever yell around you.

- After the initial panic and hatred, he remembers what's important. You. And protecting you, in every way he can.

- Whenever he's around you, he makes sure to regulate his emotions as much as he can. He'll get all of his anger out at Alfred, just so you never have to worry about him coming home pissed. He wants his home to feel safe for you.

- He tries to be as consistent as possible. If you ever need anything, he won't ask questions, he'll just do it. As much as he wants to be snarky, he'd stop making those kinds of comments to you entirely.

- But if you still know your abuser, he's taking out all of that anger onto them. In his opinion, any person who could traumatize you like that should suffer just like you have.

- Basically, he just becomes a lot more protective. In public, he'd hold your hand constantly, so you always know that you're not alone. In private, he'd lay off any questioning. Whatever you need to do to feel comfortable, he'd push his own curiosity aside.

- Although, he struggles with talking about what you went through directly. He's likely gone through something similar, and an honest conversation about either of your problems freaks him out a little bit.

- He can comfort you, bringing you back from the brink with no problem, but don't expect him to have any meaningful ideas on how to help you cope.

- (His only idea is what he does. Which is to try to ignore it. Which is bad.)

All Arthur had to say was “What's wrong with you?” for the spiral to start. He wasn't even serious, but the smirk plastered on his face seemed to turn sinister within a second. The smell of the room, the direction of the sun, the feeling of your socks, all of it was too familiar. All of it was exactly like that time long ago.

You started to breathe heavier, eyes darting for something to save you from the situation you had just been cast into once again. Something must be different, this can't be happening again.

“Y/N?” Arthur asks, his voice distant and muffled within your panicking mind, “Y/N, look at me.”

When he reached out gently to rest his hand over yours, you completely drew away within an instant. Shaking, cowering in fear against the couch, as far away as you could get from...

“Y/N, is it happening again?” He said, his words barely registering. You nodded, still looking at everything and nothing.

But you watched intently as he got up. He walked over to the thermostat, his footsteps nothing like you remembered from back then. It suddenly became colder than it used to be... and a blanket was draped over your quivering body.

“It's over. They're not here... ok? I promise it's over.”

“You promise? Y-You promise?”

“You're safe. There's nothing here that can hurt you. I promise.“

[curiousitycollective]

hiii, very sorry if this is the wrong blog to ask for something like this. my therapist has been away for a few weeks so i cant ask for help normally. we recently realized that we've developed an introject of an abuser, which is normal for our system. what's not normal is he's kind of nice, like an idealized version of this abuser, and feels like more than a fragment (usually our abuser introjects are like fragments or feel puppetted, not like real alters. he's a real guy). he hangs around the front a lot and has been passively influencing our host to engage with more media they both enjoy (but that real abuser introduced us to), but for the rest of us doing this is just bringing up bad feelings and memories associated with real abuser. we broke up barely 3 months ago so those feelings are still fresh enough that doing this often is messing with us my therapist would generally say that radically accepting this new introject is a good thing to do, and we're TRYING, but it feels like whenever we do we get sucked into flashbacks. i dont know how to balance doing things he wants and accepting him while also protecting myself/the rest of us from the pain his source causes.... is this... normal?? like, the part where this abuser introject is Nice. i've never heard or experienced them being nice before. he's not nice all the time to be fair, but he's WAY kinder than his source. if you have any tips for balancing our lives better with this type of alter advice is appreciated as well. thank you so much <3

This probably isn't going to be as detailed as we usually are because we're not having a good time with words but we wanted to try and give you an answer. Also this is like half text to speak and half typed so please excuse any weird typos

So there's two big things to address, as to the first yes it's completely normal to introject nicer or idealized versions of abusers.

There's a lot of reasons it can happen and it doesn't always happen every time or even often but its a thing. It can be due to the need to process positive experiences, the brain needing some form of familiarity and comfort, trying to recontextualize negative memories and more. There's probably as many reasons as there are introjects

In general the community doesn't like to talk about introjects of abusers, and even less so when yiu get into stuff like positive introjects so it can give the impression it never happens but it's completely normal.

Okay as for coping we're going to give a bunch of options and suggest seeing what helps you the most. We do want to emphasize that while acceptance is good, that doesn't prelude you also being hurt and upset about things. You can accept is presence while still holding space for the fact you are hurt and its difficult to have him with you

for coping with flashbacks it might help to have some kind of grounding sensory thing on hand. Something with a strong smell you like or a fidget with a lot of tactile feedback it can help bring you out of them and give you something to focus on

It might help to speak with him about the stress and flashbacks not in a "your a bad person for existing" way but as a "hey this isn't your fault but this is tough for the system and we are working on things" so he can be aware and might be able to help work with y'all

Give yourselves a huge break, your dealing with something really fucking stressful without a big part of your support network. Don't expect yourselves to be at 100% and balancing everything perfectly.

Focus on keeping yourselves feed and sleeping as well as you can, this sounds like obvious advice but its really easy to let both slip and both can lead to major mood swings and worse symptoms (this is based on both personal experience and biological science)

Try and keep communication between all of you as open as you can. Its easy to shutdown and bury feelings but it will make things harder to deal with and can lead to resentment

Above all give yourselves time and patience because this is a difficult thing to deal with and you are doing your best.

[zishu-arts]

1. What's ur fav avm ep? Or generally ava ep

2. What's ur fav short?

3. And favorite character? Why is that your favorite character?

4. Do u kin anyone? Why?

5. What are your thoughts on King Orange? Personally, I do love the character but I wanna see some controversy. He was forgiven too easily. Do you think that he's affected by immense guilt of his actions? Pls go in detail as much as you wish

6. What are your favorite (hc or not) relationships? Doesn't need to be romantic. Do you have thoughts on relationships between characters that haven't interacted? Or some hc on characters that did (example: I love the hc on Purple and Red hanging out so often that Red goes to visit Purple for advice on PRANKS out of all things)

If I think of something more, I'll send it through!!

1). i dont think i can pick a favorite since there's so many but i love rewatching Lush Caves, Ultimate Minecart Race, The Chef, The Ultimate Weapon (and honestly just the entire KO arc lmfao). For AVA its gotta be The Showdown it's just SOOO GOOD the animation, the concepts, the plot, ahhhh

2). hard once again, but Music Lesson is so goddamn funny

3). THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD THE DARK LORD (red is my second favorite tho). okay so, honestly it's just the amount of potential and trauma i could give him. i love his character and lore like, the idea of the Mission Code. what does it mean that you've been created for the sole purpose to destroy, and what does it mean that the person you're made to destory become your best friend? like, the existance of that code brings up so much potential and you could literally take it in so many ways. and like, just the story of cho and dark being two people who were coded for a purpose and run away. what...happens to that purpose? what are you supposed to do now? it's very "what am i if not a weapon?" "yourself. isn't that a wonderful person to be?" (i also dont remember where this quote is from). and also, i look at this little bastard and i think ah yes, he is a goddamn maniac. absolutely insane. i can make him as unhinged as possible and i think that's amazing.

i also think it's great that it's so easy for me to just do whatever i want with him like he's some dress up doll. i've got a genderbent version of him. i've got him with ADHD. i've got him with autism. i've got him trans. he's depressd. he has anxiety. he's in love. there's no saving him.

i also like that like. he's dead. he might not be dead. who fucking knows? and he's such an interesting character, is he evil, is he nice, does he care, what does he like? i want to know everything about him and i want to squish him like a little ball

(i alos like that he's very easy to self project into)

4). hmmmm honestly? i only ever kinned like one character (yuki from horimiya) so im not too familiar with actually kinning. if i had to pick, probably red, mostly cause i see him as a hyper possibly ADHD guy who's always running head first into situations without a thought and think damn he's jus tlike me fr

5). KO/MANGO TALK LETS GO !! you're def right, he was forigven too soon, but i like to think or hope that they at least had a bit of bonding. okay well first off i want to start off with: i see a lot of content where we view mango as like around 20 years old which i want to immedately have on the table: what do you mean 20 years old. he's got a goddamn kid that seems to be maybe 8-10, he's got to be at least reaching 40 by the time we actually see him in AVM. and no, 40 is not too old, they can still do backflips and fight ppl (as long as mango maintained a healthy lifestyle with daily exercise, healthy diet, and good sleep).

i love the fact that he went evil because he lost his son, and that he got lost in his anger and started hurting everyone around him. although i do think his and purple's relationship could do with A LOTT of work. their trust was broken over and over again (mostly on purple's end) and im not sure mango particularily remembers how to treat a child well. and did mango ever like,,,yk,,,properly grieve for his son? for all we know, he went home the same day he lost gold, punched his wall a lot, then went straight to working on the staff. now that he doesn't have that drive anymore, i think that's all going to catch up to him. he really needs to properly grieve and mourn and recover before he goes about doing anything else.

he can, in fact however, be a good person/father as long as he's got that under the belt. (which you could def see that he was pretty swag when he still had gold). i personally see him as a raspy and gruff guy so he's also a man of very few words. that also means he probably has a buttload of communcation issues that is gonna affect his relationship with other people. he has got A LOT to work on

i also want to mention how i don't particulary enjoy the "overprotective father that trails their child everywhere". i don't think a lot of people view mano this way either, but i just want it on the table that even though mango would definitely be protective of purple, he won't be weird about it

6). ohhhh okay okay if you've read my fics you know i am in love with the "siblings victim & dark" as well as "siblings chosen and second". i feel like vic and dark are both insane and enable the worst, unhinged parts of each other. and then chosen and second are pretty much polar opposites with "doesn't say a word + yapper"

i also love it when CC treat red as like the youngest hyper sibling bc he really does give off that energy. also I AGREE WITH YOU purple and red together were so cute it was so unexpected but i love that

i also really really really want to see dark and purple interact with each other. mostly because they're probably the two most least likely characters to ever see each other. but i like the idea of dark terrorizing purple and it works because purple the whole time is like 'holy fuck this is that terrorist holy fuck shit oml'

i also want to see purple and mango interact with alan. im not sure if they ever did? but id like to imagine one day alan logs onto his computer and sees these two random sticks on his screen and is like who the fuck are you guys

(my guy desperately needs a VPN)

i ADORE blue + yellow. both in a platonic and romantic sense. they're like skater girl + nerd girl to me. they're so goddamn adorable and i'm very obsessed with seeing them. they hold hands. they're polar opposites. they're always together. they're the duo that if you just see one of them it seems wrong. if one of them is missing, you automatically ask the other one where they are, because they no doubt would know. gods they're so entwined with each other

thanks for the ask !!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts BEHOLD. NEW HAVEN WARDS: THE WIBBY AND DAVID DYNAMIC ESSAY. this got way too fucking long 2 put in ur inbox so im making a post about it. ENJOY THE STICK FIGURE VIOLENCE <3

okay im just gonna start from the beginnign here and try not to get too sidetracked as i go (<< me when i lie) um. so. still not entirely clear on what williams trigger event would be so that may change how some of this works out logistics wise. but just assuming it would be SOMEWHAT similar to pd- william dies/has his near death experience and is Changed By It. in obvious ways that are impossible to hide. his parents find out because he had been missing for days and presumed dead so when he came back home covered in mud and dried blood and Different, everyone kind of broke down. they know about his powers from the start. william hates them (the powers, not his parents) but his dad especially has always been very supportive of capes and urges william to use them for something good! his mom, who has always grieved the lack of a relationship between her two sons, brings up the suggestion "hey, you know what! yeah! your older brother just so happens to live in a city with a really good cape population, maybe you can go live with him for a bit while you go to school <3" (<< this is also going off the assumption that the general public doesnt really. understand. capes much. his parents dont know theyre signing him up to be a child soldier and die before 40. they love him so much and just want the best for him- if they knew about all that they wouldve never even made the suggestion. but they see how much his powers are hurting him and theyre grieving the death of their youngest son who is still. awake and sitting in his bedroom. and i dont think any of them know how to deal with that)

william, not really having a place to argue from or another option to even consider, reluctantly agrees. hes too caught up in the fear and worry and unpredictability of his powers to even imagine himself as one of the heroes. but he goes anyway. and lives with david. its just as painfully icy as you imagine- david never signed up to be a permanent babysitter, i imagine theres a lot of. phonecalls overheard through the walls of his apartment of david on the phone with their mom asking if this was some sort of punishment. david spends all his time at his office and never takes time to even get to know william. he still takes care of him- he has the money for a penthouse apartment and keeps groceries stocked- but its not like theyre having cozy family meals every night. this does wonderful things for williams mental health obviously. which im sure makes his powers feel so much better (<< this is sarcasm). they dont talk much. obviously. william knows david works for/runs a branch of some tech company but thats about the extent of his knowledge and he never cares to ask further details than that. theres a little bit of resentment there on williams side (william wisp, known jealous petty little bitch- "i thought you were the first good thing to come out of deadwood"). david is someone who's important and has his life together and william is. in his own mind. a freak.

after joining the wards program and meeting dakota and virion and such. william IMMEDIATELY decides he is going to spend less and less and less time at davids place. and so the fucking. chasm between them grows. mutual good riddance. (they dont hate each other. theres just. not a whole lot of care there. but theyre still family, yknow?) and its just like. the BARE MINIMUM amount of contact. william stops by davids place to like. get stuff from his bedroom. uses davids apartment as storage for things he can't keep at the wards base (are teen superheroes allowed to smoke? i imagine that cant be good for their public image). so its not like they totally cut contact theres just. even less of it than there was before.

and then william learns about the SIGNIFICANT importance of keeping your cape and civilian identities separate. any villain who learns who you are behind the mask can be a threat to not only you but also your family. william, who loves his parents very much and knows they love him back, wants to protect them at all costs. conveniently, he doesn't live with his parents anymore. his current guardian just so happened to keep their mom's maiden name. so what does he do! bam. easy fix, change your last name to match with your brother. satisfies the heroes a little bit because its that extra step harder to connect william with people outside the city, AND its not suspicious on the civilian side either because. i mean he still matches surnames with his family. surely this will not come back to bite him (foreshadowing). i think it would be PERFECTLY in character and slimy for david to get a kick out of this name change btw. its been weeks since theyve spoken full sentences to each other but the next time william goes back to the apartment david is there at the kitchen table and just kind of laughs at the paperwork like "aw, little brother, i didn't realize you liked living with me that much. im flattered" etc. etc. eugh

behold! i can call him wibby now. awesome. so cool. anyway.

blahblah whatever whatever. im saying for au convenience david lives in new haven even though in pd canon he technically lives in freedom city. don't worry about it. HOWEVER. this becomes important. new haven wards are like?? vaguely sometimes in contact with the wards of the nearest settlement with a significant cape population- freedom city! this is alan, x, cantrip. I think they probably have like. fun friendly sparring matches sometimes (like the cage matches where they first met but like... legal. and mario kart!) but aren't close enough to be Friend Friends. freedom city wards uncover some shady underground company using illegal research (nhw equivalent of harttawa? dying 2 link this back to mark somehow bc im always thinking abt him but i KNOW u have plans for him already and im dying 2 know them) to give people artificial powers (connected to cauldron in some way but not obvious about it. ill explain this more in a minute) and guess who this gets linked back to. our one and only lovely wicked david bell. freedom city wards don't know williams connection to him since they wouldn't know his civ name. I don't think he would tell them. i also don't think they would actually TALK to David here like they do in canon, i think the heist goes a little more successfully and he's not actually physically THERE so all that happens is that they sneak in and see a bunch of files/papers. and william makes the connection with David's name and maybe picture. but the whole. killing a bunch of guards still happens. "its okay they're villains" etc. i don't know who would run freedom city wards program but they're more. loose about the rules than in new haven. which is why xavier and cantrip are Like That.

anyway on the way back to new haven william is REALLY shaken and dakota and virion obv pick up on that right away (i think they'd also know OF williams brother but not a lot of details bc he never talks about him.) william tells them that that was David and doesn't know what to do etc etc . I think he avoids the apartment for a looooot longer than he usually does because he doesn't want to accidentally run into David there and have to confront this. I think he's probably shell shocked by the idea a little- david is VERY MUCH against the hero program and doesn't like capes at all and is very vocal about that fact (this is pd canon too)!! why the fuck would he be working with the company that gives people powers and Makes More Capes! even though his mystery solving brain is going into overdrive thinking about the reasons and details and minutae of this discovery, william is also chronically avoidant of all his personal problems so i don't think he does any digging into it yet. until. well. the freedom city wards go missing

they on the other hand DID do a lot more digging into this. and david caught on to them and we end up with the scene in the basement . this is where I'm gonna get sidetracked bc there's a lot of information I'm thinking about at the beginning of all this

when william/vyncent/tide get there it's a very similar scene to in pd. x and cantrip are chained up, david has allen cut open on a table. william is. HORRIFIED. maybe even moreso than in pd.

x is even more immediately hostile to william when he and cantrip wake up because part of the information they uncovered in doing their own digging was the fact that david and william are related. and this pisses x off SO BAD because william never told them. and I think he uses wills secret identity against him and that's part of the reason william is SO DESPERATE to stop him. Just imagining that scene in the hallway at the beginning where they're screaming at each other and x just goes "that's your fucking *brother?* you're related to that monster and you never thought to, yknow, share that little bit of information with us?! william bell?????" and as soon as x says his name william just SNAPS and swings the axe at him .

anyway. back to the basement scene. david does his whole manipulative villain monologue with a scalpel to Allen's heart and we learn David is the head of an offshoot branch of cauldron (thinking about like maybe where they sell the vials to people under the guise of experimental medical treatment? for their own research purposes on how the vials affect people. real unethical shit! I feel like I need 2 learn more about cauldrons motivations before I set this in stone though) . anyway. we also learn here that david Has Fucking Powers. I don't know exactly what those would be right now but I think they would be pretty... inconsequential and at a really low power rating, but just that fact alone is enough for him to almost lose william completely.

this whole time william is just full of this icy dread and betrayal, but as SOON as david reveals he has powers that all just snaps to rage. comparable to that feeling where you've been bullied for something for years and then one day everyone decides that same thing is cool now. ("how long. how *long*, david? did you have these powers while you shunned me, sat on the phone with mom in the other room complaining about how much of a freak your little brother is? how *painfully sad* it is for you to share an apartment with the corpse of your baby brother, trying to get mom to pity you enough to take me back and get me out of your hair?")

and ofc david being who he is has some sort of slimy manipulation that saves his ass and gets william back on his side. tide and virion being there they immediately see right the FUCK through it but I think william would be compromised enough at that point that he wouldn't be thinking clearly enough to listen to them. (also side note . like I said I'm VERY undecided on what davids powers would actually be but the two ideas I've been bouncing back and forth are a) some kind of medical Thinker which is how he knows how to put allen back together the right way or b) some kind of Master which makes the manipulation thing worse <3. so maybe wibby is compromised bc davids using his powers on him. if it's the second option. smile!)

anyway wibby goes on his nightmare arc. right. even more fucked up bc of what x says to him about his identity. I actually think a lot of this stays the same but just with the addition of context and also the thing I said yesterday about the guards radioing to each other to evacuate.

everything happens pretty much the same with cantrip and he and virion getting back to the office only to find everything totally wiped clean already. william still does the Nightmare Thing in davids apartment afterward. still undecided in whether or not their parents will be there? I guess it depends on what we do with the trickster. (oh god I haven't even thought about the trickster irt new haven wards. fuck!) . I think actually I'm leaning more toward having them NOT being there? because I think william reigned himself in because he didn't want to scare them too much. and this is worm world i don't WANT wibby to reign himself in at all. I want him to go fucking nightmare apeshit.

btw this whole time? virion stays with him and it scares the SHIT out of him. he's still going to stay because ... this is william. this is his best friend (gay) and he HAS to trust that he knows what he's doing. I think afterward william stands up, david still unconscious on the floor, and there are silent tears streaming down his face and there's this expression of rage and betrayal and grief on his face that virion has NEVER seen on another person. so he reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder or maybe offer a hug (which in my mind is HUGE for him bc I've been imagining virion being SUPER careful and sort of avoidant about physical touch bc of his powers) but then william goes to brush his hand away as he walks out of the room and there's just the briefest moment of skin to skin contact. and it only lasts for maybe a second but virion gets this BURST of williams powers and it's terrifying. he can see and feel and hear and know *exactly* what william just did. it goes away almost immediately but the force of it is enough to throw virion off balance for a second as he processes it and when he comes to again he is just. shaking. and he doesn't say anything to william but he *knows* now and he doesn't know what to do with that information. hes scared out of his fucking mind but he's also. sad. he's REALLY fucking sad his best friend (gay) just had to do something like that. and he's not good with words so he doesn't say anything but he stays there. he stays by williams side despite everything. ughahhvhh

uhhhh final note. pain and suffering. william gets a whole Fucking Complex about sharing a name with david after this. but he still doesn't change it back to wisp because he knows x knows his identity now. which means he doesn't know how many other people could know, how many other people x will tell out of spite as a way to get back at him (<< william wisp paranoia WIN) and it's. LEAGUES better that any potential enemies would come after david and hurt david. (in fact he probably privately wishes for something like that to happen. hed never say that out loud though). using his name as a kind of shield even though it hurts like hell to be connected to his brother like that.

anyway! yeah! wisp-bell brothers torment nexus or whatever!

[elizabeth-mitchells]

I don't want to watch this season of yellowjackets but can you pls tell me everything that helps with Shauna and Melissa so I can have The Intel? Especially interested in know what it was that Shauna made her eat

OOHH that's such a fun questionnn!! i'd be very happy to share The Intel 🫡

IN SUMMARY: teen melissa had a crush on shauna, they made out, shauna was like okay fine, melissa quickly found out shauna is even worse than she thought, it ends on a public break up with a gun involved. and in the adult timeline, shauna thinks melissa is trying to kill her, melissa makes some weird choices, they have a fight and shauna bites off a piece of melissa's arm and makes her eat it <3

but because i love talking, i will also share a more detailed way-too-long version!

if you don't want to watch it i'm assuming you don't know anything or much about it so i'll just talk about the whole thing from zero. but let it be Known. i'm not the most reliable narrator (i might forget stuff and i don't love what happened so)

so basically! out of nowhere, melissa suddenly became an important character in the show this season. it starts with her like Noticing Shauna. staring at her, smiling, you could say it was obvious she had a crush on her, she tried to flirt and take her side talking shit about mari. THEN she basically approaches shauna one day alone in the woods, shauna freaks out shauna style and pins her to a tree with a knife to her throat, basically shauna was at a secret grave for her baby and no one was supposed to know so she felt protective and melissa was like i wont tell anyone btw i'm sorry you went through so much! they end up making out <3

it keeps going, melissa follows her around like a lovesick puppy, shauna is like okay sure as long as you dont turn out to be boring. she generally supports shauna, takes her side on everything, encourages her to be worse and seems to find it hot when shauna is a little crazy and intimidating. melissa gives her a little handmade gift, shauna is like why do you even like me? and melissa is like jackie and jeff treated you like shit but now you aren't afraid of the bad parts of yourself and i like that. later, for Reasons, shauna gives her knife and tells her to hurt coach scott and not be afraid of the scary parts of herself either, melissa does that <3 they hold their blood-covered hands and everyone watches them go back to shauna's shelter(?), i'd say it's heavily implied they have sex then <3

omg taissa and van have a conversation wondering if shauna makes melissa wear jackie's clothes when they're together (heavily confirms jackieshauna too i think!!)

things start going downhill there. because there are New People in the wilderness, and this means melissa gets shot in the chest with an arrow! and shauna leaves her to go chase those people. melissa is very pissed off shauna left her like that. but shauna did tell mari to go help her and "if she dies, you die" which was hot. when they argue about this, shauna is like 🙄🙄 but she wins melissa again by being like well i'm still thinking about killing that guy just for shooting you

HOWEVER when it seems like they might get rescued, shauna has some complicated feelings about it. she's in a REALLY bad mood, she snaps at melissa and when melissa has a friendly conversation with one of the new people shauna snaps even worse. taking out her Complicated Feelings on melissa. she calls her stupid, says no one gave a shit about her until she did, says she's nothing. eveyone watches. melissa calls her fucking crazy. and shauna aims the gun at her!!! and shots!!! close enough to rip her jacket!!!! poor girl melissa pisses her pants and shauna walks away proudly. everyone is horrified.

AND THAT WAS JUST THE TEEN TIMELINE

because, against all odds, turns out melissa is the 8th survivor!! this season, adult shauna has been experiencing weird and concerning things like uh someone turning off the lights at a public bathroom and leaving an ominous phone behind? the breaks of her car not working! and being locked in a fridge <3 she suspects someone's trying to kill her (spoiler: most of those were an accident or misty's doing) BUT she also received a mysterious tape in her doorstep. in it, there's a recording about the terrible things they did in the wilderness. long story short. she uses that to track down a house where she finds MELISSA! alive and well! after faking her death idk how many years ago! because the group excluded her after the rescue i think? and she was scared of shauna lol

adult shauna and melissa argue, shauna accuses her of trying to kill her, melissa is like no that wasn't me! i have a wife and kids! (literally!) they called each other out for a lot of stuff. but of course it turns into a physical fight. shauna i think dislocated melissa's shoulder and when she has her pinned to the ground, she bites her upper arm, rips out a piece of it, and tells melissa to eat it... which melissa absolutely does <3

after that well melissa escapes, tai van and misty find her, more arguing, more of a mess, someone dies, it's not shauna or melissa, melissa escaped again, we'll see how this ends!

[bored-writing]

Chapter 1146 rant

just some ranting and theories also dont mind the small explanation bit at the start this was from messages I sent to a friend

Sorry if stuff don’t make sense and if there’s already theories about this I don’t really look into many of them

Rant below cut

Okay so above the world gov. There’s celestial dragons their known as ‘gods’ and we don’t like them since they hurt and enslave everyone, anyways among these ‘gods’ in holy land mariejois there’s the holy knights otherwise known as ‘god’s knights’ and a family with these holy knights is shanks family the figarlands

So to be a gods knight it looks like you have to have a special/specific ability that’s likely genetic that allows you to regenerate (this could ofc still just be an op-op fruit thing) BUT It’s highly likely that the celestial dragons have a specific genetic trait that allows them to regenerate themselves when blown up, killed, etc BUT Imu (head of the celestial dragons) and the 5 elders (Imu’s direct subordinates) don’t know who does and doesn’t have this trait which led to all celestial dragons being separated from from society and being led to holy land mariejois

Now the reason why they prioritize this ability is because the world is gonna just die, it’ll end or it won’t in this vast war which poneglpyphs (which are very illegal to read) detail and talk about sharing the story of what‘ll happen and is when anyone who is caught reading them or can read them gets killed because they don’t want them warning everyone else, they want everyone and thing dead

NOW this is why they wanted Luffy’s fruit the gum gum fruit and why they’re after giants because it’s highly likely that poneglyphs detail on how they’re the two factors which can majorly influence this all out war

LUFFY’S FRUIT BENDS AND SHAPES REALITY ITS THE FRUIT OF THE WARRIOR OF LIBERATION THIS WARRIOR AND THIS BENDING OF REALITY CAN LIKELY IMPACT THE RESULT OF THE WAR AS IT’LL LEAD TO THE WAR BECOMING WHAT LUFFY (or nika idfk) WISHES FOR IT TO BE

Luffy being on the side of the rev army (presumably because of Sabo) and opposing the world gov means that the scale is already beginning to tip and if Luffy and the crew wounds up allying and getting the giants on their side Imu knows they won’t win‼️‼️

BUT another hypothesis I have is that the gum gum fruit is supposedly a lethal devil fruit, 5 elders and Imu could’ve easily just had a holy knight eat it as soon as it was in their hands or even have one of them eat but they didn’t. Why? Because the gum gum fruit more often then not affects the user and is known to kill those who can’t handle or aren’t destined to it. So they’d rather keep it locked away then risk anyone, Shanks who ended up stealing it from them might’ve KNOWN this that’s why he acted so shocked, when Luffy actually was stretching and stuff because it wasn’t supposed to be like that!! That’s why he left Luffy and saved him sacrificing his arm and giving the straw hat to him. AND HELL it’s not far off, shanks is known to of been a cabin boy on Roger’s crew who red lots of the poneglyphs and if shanks learned some of what was on the poneglyphs and about the gum gum fruit while on Roger’s crew then that would mean he knows Luffy is destined and blah blah blah

NOW lastly shanks being exiled from being a celestial dragon. The figarlands are consistent in appearing as holy knights, and from this detail we can presume they likely have a long history of being so taking into account the detail from before of the generation trait, Shanks doesn’t have this trait and was thrown out form his family after being seen as a disgrace for not having it because its very apparent in their bloodline (and potentially anyone who didn’t have that trait being thrown out led to super strong haki users or potentially conquers haki users ending up on the main land blah blah blah assuming conquers haki/strong haki users weren’t there beforehand)

[seldomscilence16]

Alright so this all started with a lego set at work, turned into a long ass intro, then its 11 on Christmas Eve and I decide to just do the Christmas snippet and finish the rest/context later.

So please ignore spelling 😬 and Happy Holidays all! Also TW for a bit of Racism at one point, theres a bullying scene but a short one. "Well if it isnt..." is where it starts and "there a problem here." Is where it ends.

Hope you enjoy this snippet! Stay safe everyone and thank @autisticlancemcclain for the Bug boy Lance!

...

Lance could kick himself.

He knows better than this. He knows what happens, he knows that once they get what they want, they'll leave.

And yet, here he is, spending hard earned money, on four classmates. Sure he'd saved them for last, focusing on his families gifts first and foremost- its the main reason he got the job, part going to saving for emergencies, the rest to spend on Christmas- but he was doing the thing he'd sworn off.

No people. People hurt and use and lie and tease. Lance was supposed to he strong until college, his fresh start, but then these four had to go and be NICE and do their part and- yeah the bar was really low...

"This isnt going to end well." He mumbles, the hustle and bustle of the mall overwhelming with holiday traffic and leaving him worn out before he even enters an actual store.

He scans aisle after aisle, berating himself for putting so much thought into something he wasnt even supposed to be doing. His eye catches something green and he comes to a halt. Its legos, one of those collectors sets that costs an arm and a leg, but Lance hadn't even known Lego did THIS.

'The insect collection'.

"Blue Morpho Butterfly, Hercules Beetle, and a Chinese Mantis." He breathes in awe, eyes scanning every detail.

"Well if it isnt Mclame."

His head snaps up, a group of classmates before him, most of which are his very reason for his No People rule.

"Still a freak about bugs I see, surprised you havent married one yet- maybe even they dont want you!" He snorts when he laughs, a strange noise from the back of his throat that remind Lance of a Donkey or Pig.

"Not like he could even afford it, if you want you can have your mom come clean my house." One girl taunts from the back, Lances blood boiling at the blatent racist remark despite Lance's CUBAN heritage.

"If you do have money to spare you should buy me lunch instead, for having to be in your vecinity for this long." Another boy plugs his nose, like he showers every day. Lance sits behind him in English, and he does not.

"There a problem here kids?" A man in the mall security uniform eyes them all carefully, eyes giving Lance a once over that makes him uncomfortable.

"No sir." He replies polity, deciding another store may hold better finding anyway- at least better company.

....

Lance's budget was low to begin with, but eventually he comes up with ideas for the four.

It starts with Hunks treats. The things that get them through their library sessions when the projects blur. And Lances job allows him access to plenty of people who would love to share things with anyone who will listen. So painstakingly, Lance translates recipes to paper as the older generations he enteracts with give him a little baking show.

Shiro's, surprisingly, comes next. A single comment about how much he hates ruined shirt sleeves, as they get caught on his prosthetic port. Its winter, and tank tops simply wont do, so Lance finds himself knitting in his spare time. Doing hours of research to see what possibilities will be the most comfortable, with of course a very lame joke on the front.

Pidge's was an accident. Lance's bike- sabataged it would seem- leaves him crashing off path in a ditch on his way home from work. He ends up limping his way through thick folliage, dragging a broken bike in the late hours of the afternoon. The little squeak is almost ignored, the second one however, well its Lance.

The little thing is a puffball, Lance was almost sure it was a toupé, until it moved and blinked at him. He thinks its a dog, no idea what kind, but its tiny and fluffy and following him home. Lance has three allergic family members, but Pidge mentioned a family dog who had sadly passed away and nearly broke Lances heart. The green eyes tell him this little thing will be a lovely match.

Keith is the hardest. Lance honestly almost buys a knife, because the guy is a conspiracy theorist and gets into way too much trouble not to have a few knives on him. But it doesnt seem right.

But Lance see's how often he doodles.

Freakin gorgeous doodles.

Then he finds the brand 'Keff Artistry' and its too close to 'Keef' for Lance to pass up.

...

He almost tells his family to simply lock him up and burn the gifts, but then they'd be worried and he's trying to avoid that thank you, hes been doing an excellent job masking his turmoil thus far.

So, the day before Christmas Eve, Lance gathers his gifts in trembling hands, and slips out of the house unseen. If this turns into a mess, he'll deal with it himself this time. He has to grow up eventually, he cant keep crying about bullies to his family, its not a big deal anyway.

"What the heck happened to your face!?" Pidge's incredulous tone has everyone eyes snapping towards said face.

"Its nothing, bike accident." Lance shrugs it off, as he'd done when he'd come home with it, he had too little proof anyway. Anyone could have carved 'McLame' into the side of it.

"Accident huh?" Its mumbled by someone, but Lance cant place it and decidedly ignores it anyway.

"I uh... have gifts... for you guys." He changes the subject, directing the attention to the bags he carries.

"For us?" Hunk asks, eyes wide and sparkly, "You know you didnt have to buddy."

Well, supposedly.

"Yeah, its not much, but uh, here." He hands them out carefully, extra careful with Pidge's.

"Guess its a good thing we brought ours to you then." Shiro says, pulling a wrapped box from the spare chair.

Lance's eyebrows furrow, staring at the box in confusion, perhaps with a little trepidation,

"You guys got me something?"

"Yeah! We all pitched in!" Pidge grins at him, something she does sparingly- grin that is.

He takes it with clammy hands, still shaking ever so slightly. He holds it to his chest as he watches the others open their bags, watches their faces carefully.

Hunk holds the hand bound book tenderly, eyes shining as he flips through the pages carefully.

Shiro stares in awe at his sweater, a chuckle escaping him as he runs his fingers over the soft material.

Pidge squeaks, as the small dog bumps its head against her face, cold nose sniffing excitedly. She holds the animal close, the dog snuggling up like he always belonged there.

Keith is staring at his gift. The art set held half out of the bag, as if he hadnt been expecting it. He turns wide eyes towards Lance, and the cuban can see the emotions there.

This is one of Lance's favorite parts about giving. When he did good in the eyes of the reciever, when they LIKE what he gave, genuinely. No matter its monetary value.

"Lance, this is amazing." Shiro breaks the silence, turning wide eyes his way, smile big and bright and real.

"I cant imagine how long this took, this is amazing! I havent even heard of some of these!!!" Hunk is tearing up, book hugged to his chest, grinning at Lance like he'd been given a great treasure.

"I cant believe you got me a dog! He's just a little puff!" The excitement is so nice to hear, its practically contageous.

"I... havent recieved something this nice from anyone but family before. Thanks Lance." Keith is downright shy as he admits this little fact about himself, and Lance could cry.

"I'm... really glad you guys like them."

"Now open yours!" Hunk encourages quickly, sitting to watch him intently, practically vibrating.

Lance could almost feel scared, but....

He allows himself a little hope.

He opens the paper gingerly, savoring his first gift from anyone outside of family. A corner is revealed, familiar for some reason, another inch-

Lego Ideas The Insect Collection.

"What-" It comes out choked, shock clear on his face.

Is it a joke? Are they mocking him? It was expensive, theres no way they'd spend that much on a joke right?

"Its the one you wanted right?" Pidge asks, a slight pinch to her brow.

"We only saw you from across the mall, so we didn't know- You're crying oh Gods, whats wrong Buddy-" Shiro Panics, quickly kneeling by the chair Lance had collapsed into.

"I don- Why- I can't- "

"Breathe! Come on-" Hunk exagerates his own, encouraging Lance gently to follow as he chokes on tears and air and spit alike.

"Its not a joke right?" He finally gets out, looking pleadingly to the group, running a reverant hand across the box, "You did this to be nice?" He can hear the vulnurability in his own voice, but he's about a second from breaking completely.

"Yes, yes, of course! All 1,111 pieces are inside!" Shiro assures quickly, rubbing a soothing hand over his shoulder and arm.

It gets a wet chuckle from Lance, as he pulls the box to his chest once more.

"No ones... thank you so much, I can't... can't tell you how much this means." He wipe at his face, "I'll repay you, I promise-"

"Hey, its a gift Lance." Keith says, voice softer than ever, "We wanted to get it for you."

"Merry Christmas Lance."

"Merry Christmas."

[jimmyscanongf]

labor of love

norman bates (psycho 1960) taxidermies you (romantic) (gender neutral)

or, the strange mentally ill erotic fantasy of someone cutting me open and just getting all up in my guts (Nicely,) has surfaced from the old deep deep deep dark days of my life and now has a place ig?

cw death and detailed gore; cw fucked up content in general but if you saw this title and are still reading further you already know whats up, you sicko ;) this is unedited word vomit style typed directly into the tumblr post editor, bcs it was very very slow today and this was better than ruminating myself into an actual mental breakdown at freaking work so this is for the absolute freaks and please dont come for my ass if anything in the getting taxidermied by norman bates fanfiction isnt accurate

in thinking about the potential endings for an extended norman and reader romance... i think it would be such an extraordinarily delicate balance to manage a relationship and try to help him while avoiding the shitshow of human rights violations that was psychiatric care in the 1960s. and maybe you could manage it but if you couldn't......... perhaps he was hiding the true extent of his illness, even well into your relationship, even after getting married. some act of repression, of course he didn't want to scare you away and he was so certain he would, and nobody had ever loved him like you did and nobody ever would again. but ya just can't bottle it up like that without building and building the pressure... and to have a relationship, to have sex with you and marry you and try to be happy WITHOUT HER, oh what a grievous transgression to the ignored Norma, cast away to the far recesses of his awareness, he's managed to hold onto control for this long but the situation will simply not do, and she'll just have to eliminate the disgusting little bitch who stole her son away from her, take the reins back in a moment of weakness, of fracture -

and norman wakes up in a place he doesn't remember, in clothes he doesn't remember, but he remembers the fight and the fevered pitch of your voice, the wide-eyed fear in your face, his mixed up train of thought derailing, crashing, and the sound of his mother screaming in his ears. not a hint of a thought of what happened enters his mind as he retraces the trail of blood through the house, empty and automatic and despairing but still not connecting the ideas together until he actually finds the mangled heap of your body slumped on the floor, with the sick metallic smell of clotting blood, a dizzying lake of deep red bigger than he'd ever seen before surrounding you.... it's so shattering that he is disconnected even from the impulse to vomit, though he drops to his knees and screams and screams and screams...... and his mother is nowhere around to help him, and you're gone gone gone, forever! forever! but no! he hears your voice in his ear, soft though it startled him: "no, you can still save me, don't you remember? you've done it already before, norman, save me, save me before it's too late...!"

you're still even warm by the time he brings you down to the basement, cradling you in his arms and staining the clean clothes mother had gone out of her way to dress him in, still limp dead weight, he puts you on the table where he does his taxidermy and kisses your lips with blood on your mouth, pets your hair, coos a billion apologies. "oh my love, i should have never ever let this happen! i promised myself i would never let this happen to you that i would never let her hurt you im sorry im sorry im sorry i tried i tried!!" screwing his eyes shut at your body in front of him, crying tears that dripped onto your skin. and you shush him, your voice comes like a bell calling him in the darkness "i love you norman, i forgive you, but you must work fast now, you have to work fast to revive me!" he opens his eyes, far gone, nods fervently into your lifeless face, knowing that this would be very hard, and very easy, in that he had done it dozens of times before but not on this scale and not this fresh. he strokes the soft skin of your cheek, flits over to bring his tool kit near and then strips your body bare to begin his work - but he already has to stop, go up to the linen closet to bring towels and a bucket of water to clean the blood and gore off your skin, revealing in detail every grisly angry slash, stab, loose flap of skin that should still be all connected, should be, norman cries, with only an extremely dim awareness that it was his own hands that wrought this upon you. but he would fix it, he would suture your lovely flesh back together last, after the bulk of the work was done.

it takes significant effort to cut you with the same blade that he had cut birds and other small creatures with but he made it through all the layers of skin and fat and muscle, cut flaps to splay your belly open for easy access. and the inside of your body. explodes with colour and detail that he had never seen on this scale before. your insides were all shining red, and translucent membranous pink, with lipid yellows, greenish and brownish hues, pearlescent white fascia and winding lines of purple-blue connecting everything. and then he trembles all over seeing it his hands shaking violently, already slick with blood, as they approach the opening, and you comfort him, sweetly in his ear, "calm now, my love, i'm in good hands, i know i am, but you need to stop shaking, you need to be gentle." "i know, im just scared. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry..." "i trust you, norman." he steeled his nerves and then slips his hands oh so, so gingerly into the wet, the slick and smooth mess, the winding intestines, cold on the surface from contact with the air but still warm underneath, and he only loves you more and more and more that you trust him like this, that you let him do this to you, putting your faith in him to revive you.

he was struck by the intimacy of it, he was so close, closer than anyone else in the world had been to you, even closer than sex, up to his forearms in your body cavity, with all the beautiful unseen parts that had sustained your living body for so long, all those years........ you would have to learn a new kind of life now, with him. he scoops the intestines, they spill over the sides onto the table, attached at either end, and he realized he would have no place to actually put any of this once he removed it, he took the bucket with red translucent water and tipped it over into the floor drain. then, bringing it near, cuts your entire digestive tract free, placing it gently in the bucket. looking down at the heap inside, he feels a sheen of sweat on his forehead, and reached up to wipe it with the bloodied back of his arm. then, the pancreas, the kidneys and bladder, the liver (some cultures thought the liver was the seat of human love, he thinks), everything is so connected, tubes and gossamer-thin tissues that he has to dissect to separate the parts out. he has to reach underneath your ribcage to cut your lungs free, they sink in and deflate more as he works, and puts them too on top of the rest of your organs. then, last, your heart - he hesitates, and trembles, feeling the imperative to be especially delicate now, as if the muscle might disintegrate under his touch. but he feels around, remembering the anatomy diagram of the heart he'd learned so many many years ago, cuts free the three arteries connected to the aorta, the pulmonary vessels, both venae cavae, and suddenly he is holding the fist-sized organ free in his hand. he set his knife to the side and then reached in again, cradling the muscle in both of his broad palms as he brought it out into the light, letting out a shuddering breath - your heart! oh it was your actual heart, the heart that loved him, the heart that once beat in your chest, that he listened to countless nights to soothe himself, pressing his ear to your sternum. he sees the fatal gash the knife made, he turns his head and leans his ear in, though he knows it's silent anyways he almost starts to sob, "keep it," you say, and he startles "keep it, my love, it's yours, it was always yours" and he looks up into the ceiling "really? are you certain?" forgetting the anguish, and he feels your confirmation, your permission, as the warmth of your love. then, looks down at the deep red knot of muscle, presses a tender kiss there, and holds it to his chest, mirroring his own living heart. with reverence, he sets it on the table in his view and continues on -

it's best practice to remove the bulk of the skeletal muscle, too, and so he opens the skin on the arms that held him close, the legs and thighs that he'd had bliss between, and frees the long corded masses - the ones in the limbs come out of the body clean and compartmentalized, attached to the bone really only by two tendons on either end, separating easily from each other. this was by chance one of the largest buckets he had in the house but now it was full top with all your externalized insides, and the slippery smooth remainder of your muscles went to the floor - it was only a short distance to the furnace anyways, and all of this would have to go to the furnace, into the fire, you wouldn't be needing them anymore, and everything would have to be clean, clean, clean after. and now your body was ready for treating with the chemicals - there might not be enough, but it would have to do - and the sawdust which only seemed to come in large quantities, and it's easy, easy, art to craft the contours of your body that he learned, he knows from memory. he closes with care the long incisions he had made, making the flesh edges meet neatly all down the length of your limbs, up the i-shape he made on your abdomen and then, the awful wounds, slashes and gashes all over he sutures at last with a lingering feeling of sorrow, that dissipates when, finally cutting the last thread, he sees the miracle of life bloom forth on your face out from the monochrome of death "norman!" you smiled, with recognition in your eyes from where your head was limply rolled to the side

he smiled back at you, euphoria like a thrill of electricity tingling through his body as he reached out to cup your face - of course the fact he didn't have a sufficient amount of preservatives and anything didn't matter because it had little to do with the process of reviving anyways. it was all in the effort itself, in the way he marked his own soul in order to remake you and have you forever, it was in that labor of love where the actual transformation was made. he stroked his thumbs on your cheekbones, leaning over you and sobbing out "yes, yes, yes, yes, it's me, i'm here!!"

"you did it, i knew you could, i knew you would save me, norman."

"i could do anything for you, i would do anything for you!"

"i'm so cold now down here in the basement, i feel so weak and exhausted after everything... would you please help me get dressed?"

your bloody clothes were all heaped on the floor and he sniffled, blinking the tears from his eyes. "oh, those are all completely ruined..... I'm sorry... I'll take you up to the bedroom now, okay? and we'll get you into pajamas, and then you can just sleep for however long you need." and you would need the sleep - it was a strange and difficult new life to adjust to, being so dependent on him now for so many things, and you would never be able to leave the house anymore, which would likely be as hard for you as it was at first for his mother. but might get easier for you faster, he thought, as you had both found many more interesting things to do inside than he and his mother ever had in nearly thirty years until you came along. he kisses you on the forehead, and gently lets your head down, before he shifts his arms underneath you and scoops you up in a bridal carry, the whole weight of you in his arms as he carries you up the stairs to the main floor, then turned, climbing up and up again

"i was so scared when she killed me, Norman." Your voice makes his lip tremble as he looks down into your eyes, "but I know i'm safe now with you."

"Yes, you're safe here with me... You'll be safe here with me forever..."

He can feel the vibration of love coming off you, that keen resonation, it was always always there though he never managed to put it to its name, his heart absolutely swells with the sensation, love, pure ecstatic love! you were his one love and the most precious thing he had ever encountered in his life and now he could keep you safe from everything, forever, with him! oh, it didn't work out as nice for you as if it has never happened in the first place, but he could feel a new tension and energy, a precipice on which he was looking out at a new and encompassing depth of your bond, of your relationship, and he only had to dive in with you. he was almost even excited to start this new and beautiful era of your life together.

[dilutedconfusion]

okay listen so i've been thinking heavily on the yandere trope recently. but like with Kid as the yandere. and whenever i see yandere!Kid i feel like he's always the more sadistic version of yanderes.

basically used this post (hoping the link works for you🙏🙏) to look at the dif types bc i dont know all that😭 but i feel like he is always sadistic/possessive in fics. obvi all yandere!aus are gonna be at least a little ooc bc its a divergence of canon characteristics but hear me out girl...

delusional and overprotective yandere!Kid... like girl. or like basically a kinda soft yandere!Kid. but like still horrible and awful not GREAT at emotions. like he will still get mad and yell but otherwise? is strangely kind to you? (w you not really realizing any subtle manipulation tactics that him or Killer might be using cuz Killer is loyal asf to Kid🤞)

like being kidnapped by the Kid pirates, the worst of the worst generation, said to be cruel and sadistic. that's already bad, and you're terrified for your life. essentially having a meltdown because you had no idea what was going to happen to you, but you had a guess. you meet Kid and prepare to be tortured/killed. then he's like??? weirdly nice to you? like yeah he's gruff and kinda bitchy but that is a thousand times better than being killed.

thats as far as the thoughts go but see my vision?? figured you would appreciate the Kid thoughts🙏

OKAY OKAY I love this SOOO MUCH. Like I don’t think I can explain how much I love this but you SLAYED. GIVING ME LINKS AND DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS AND SHIZ 🤭💞 Okay so to get right to the point I will be of course writing a chapter on this (or maybe multiple on this because that’s how good of an idea it is pookie). BUT I don’t know when I’ll be able to churn out a full chapter. I mean probably soon but I sorta just want to get a better grasp of exactly the kind of character you want Kid to be before I start writing. So here’s a little traits list?? that I cooked up the minute I read over this just to get my creative juices flowing. Let me know if Im headed in the right direction and if there is any changes or additions you’d like to see. Other than that I’ll write up the chapter, tag and credit the hell out of you, and we can revel in softyandere!Kid together 🥰

Traits

Thinks that kidnapping you was the best choice for your life. That you will be the safest and happiest with him (even if you’re kidnapped and being held against your will)

Often uses manipulation tactics like love bombing, balant lying to keep you in the dark, and triangulation with Killer

Not only believes that everyone else in the world is a hazard to you (including most of his crew members) but you’re a hazard to yourself so he doesn’t allow you privacy??? This could be taken to the point where he feels like he needs to be in the same room with you at all times. Eyes on you whenever physically possible. Which is sorta intense so just let me know if that is too much for you (cause I could make it really gross or more mild lol)

Will do even the simplest task for you, not because he wants to do it to help, but because he doesn’t believe you can take care of yourself or MOREOVER he should be the only to take care of you because he is just that great. Which of course he will hang over y/n’s head in arguments and be like “BUT LOOK AT HOW MUCH I DO FOR YOU😡” type shit.

If you do constantly try to pull away from him he’ll think you’re just shy or playing hard to get and will therefore push your boundaries harder. But if you actually PHYSICALLY harm him or try to PERMANENTLY leave he’d rather tie you down until you apologize and say you weren’t in your right mind when you did that then listen to your plea seriously (HES SO DELULU) The punishment for this could also involve taking away material items or aspects of freedom because like you said he's not sadistic so he would never hurt you.

To put it simply y/n would feel like this “I like you Kid but I don’t like who you become when you're with me” WHICH WOULD CAUSE SOME SERIOUS TURBULENCE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND SOME SWEET ANGST EVEN.

I would write more but I don’t want to give TO MUCH away plot wise. Sooo hopefully this gives you a good idea on how I’m thinking of portraying Kid. If you have any other questions of course ask me!! Any little tid bits will be much appreciated and thank you so much for requesting something from me Emma 🫶

[kijosakka]

i have so many hypotheticals for dramaturgy u dont even KNOW (i am going to sit here and go through them though)

so this is all coming up because i was considering a tiny detail about the initial cast relations on island (then turning into this whole. mess.) and wanted to do a little thing where i explore hypotheticals to this au that aren't necessarily 'canon' to it,,

CAST RELATIONS: in my rehash post of island and covering the casts' reactions to noah acting Like That, i say the feeling of uncanny detachedness was immediate. but it could also? not be?

maybe he just comes off as shy at first, or especially standoffish -- perhaps the sense of detachedness is a mounting realization that 'oh this guy is kindof Weird As Hell' instead of an immediate bad sense,, this effectively would not change the cast relations or dynamics at this point, but it would provide more exposition opportunities for cast members to try striking up anything at all with him and getting shut down immediately as opposed to (unintentional) ostracization from the beginning.

^ and also, conflict exploration. not during island, but during his shift in WT, there could be the issue of noah knowing these people already tried and he shut them down each and every time, so what reason do they have to give him yet another chance? (is it worth the emotional risks and potential hurt and no gains, etc etc)

PHOBIA FACTOR: as it is, 'canon' to the AU noah gets eliminated during dodgebrawl (which is necessary for his general character), but phobia factor is a lovely little 'consequences of forgetting about the cameras' if on a much smaller scale.

now,, im ngl this sounded a lot more fun than it is actually going to be. because the simple answer is just that noah lies. put in this position -- if his onscreen character is forced to have depth, then it will be fake for his own peace of mind.

^ the only thing that would potentially happen is that it would, in a way, isolate him from his castmates further, simply because his reaction,,, Isn't. the fear among the cast as they face their greatest fears is shared -- except for noah. because its not genuine. his reaction comes off as flat (and even then the response that he is showing is further, repeated theme, uncanny valley. to have never seen this guy fearful performing some facsimile of it? Weird.)

SIERRA / WT PAN-OUT: ok,, sierras role here is very closely connected to the other idea mentioned here -- a wt hypothetical season play-out,, thing. while not 'canon' to the au for the simple fact that noah has Little to No development in this and thats the point, im spilling all my 'what-ifs' and might as well include this one.

theres actually,, a shocking number of moving parts to this. to summarize: tyler is eliminated in noahs place in london (mostly to keep numbers even), and thus takes his place witnessing the Kiss.

^ im not sure why tyler would be eliminated honestly. havent thought that through. however i do have something mapped out (kinda) for the trajectory of the love triangle,, being that noah doesnt do Anything. it boils over eventually, obviously, since duncan and gwen both know that he knows, im thinking around picnic at hanging dork? (elimination-wise, between london and picnic [*greece & area 51] cody is eliminated, sierra is Struggling but i do need her here for future plot purposes)

[*greece; noah volunteers before duncan in the scavenger hunt and along the way kiiinda talks with gwen?? just a little, just kinda nudging her in a direction away from any Dramatic, Exploitable behaviors]

^ so noah says nothing, right? he doesnt want to get involved in this Plotline, but he can get duncan to spill. so he does that -- talks to others, sometimes points over at him, and through the two challenges and the time between ends up freaking duncan out enough that he confronts noah post-picnic (theyre just outside the plane getting uhhh idk drinks. its Hot.) while the cameras arent rolling. the cast is around though.

duncan spills it all by himself, noah has a little moment of 'i didnt tell anyone, but you just did' -- courtney is pissed, but duncan is downright furious and gets all in noahs face, to which he responds much like he did at the very beginning of island: he doesnt.

he says something to the effect of 'if youre looking for a reaction, im the wrong person to look for it in' (or he doesnt say anything -- this is a work in progress) and Leaves. i also do like the mental image of noah spilling whatever drink he has down duncans shirt to force him away in a manner that doesnt make noah reveal any (perceived sense of) vulnerability via stepping back himself.

not much else on that -- just that post-challenge i also like the idea of noah being physically close to owen after. idk to what ends,, owen just wants to Comfort (< see also, noah can have a little breakdown in the showers or smth. a tiny one. its been far too long having to keep this all up and being close and not even properly involved in some of the drama of the show is making him crack whether he shows it or not)

^ and (im ngl i do imagine gwen being eliminated here? again, semantics r lost on me in favor of the Numbers) now,, sweden comes: duncan definitely believes anything with noah is nuked, so sucks up to owen and alejandro both in similar ways. basically like how canon went, etc etc noah is back to fading into the background.

however post-sweden offers up duncan&noah interactions. say duncan has had time to cool off and now wants to know why noah didnt say anything; noah deflects, bc of course he does, but does talk duncan into a kindof realization of just how much the show itself impacted his relationship with courtney -- not at the moment, but later it would serve to duncan to characterize noah a little better (and by a little i mean a lot); being, he's keenly aware of the cameras and the audience.

niagra brawls,, everything most goes, save the pairing are changed a bit: heather and alejandro, owen and blaineley, duncan and sierra, and courtney and noah. < courtney and noah win immunity (note: courtney definitely carries him across). post-challenge, noah point-blank tells courtney that hes sorry and that he shouldve come to her immediately.

^ courtney,, appreciates the genuine apology. she asks him why he didnt -- noah is, for once, honest, saying it was mostly a selfish reason and he didnt want the fallout. (smth smth he can truly hold sympathy abt the situation, knowing just how badly the presence of cameras can Fuck Things Up)

now. i swear ill circle around to sierra eventually but i need to talk about blaineley really quickly. so dramaturgy right?? noah is In The Business. i had it in the very original post of this (rb, covering cast dynamics) that noah did not like blainely. i renege. bffs. absolute shit-talkers together.

^ the point of that is that noah talks her out of the alliance with chef. im not actually sure what that does bc i still intend for blaineley to be eliminated post-china (aswell as courtney probably idk?? could be switched with duncan) but maybe she also has smth to say about how detached noah acts?? (see also the little scene concept thing of chris pointing out just how unnerving it was seeing noah act so lifeless)

also: noah wins. the china challenge. master of keeping a Flat Face. (note: he definitely does vomit immediately after. sick for Hours)

the semantics kinda fizzle out from here, but in essence noah floats his way to the final three à la cody style (does not want to be there also) and on the way kinda bonds with sierra? < that brings up another little correction ill rb onto another post at some point; sierra, while initially holding the intrigue as opposed to dislike of noahs detachedness, does in fact grow to find it unnerving. seeing him through a screen? really fun! being around him? ...not so much.

^ sierra, through noahs Magical Advice Powers That He Has In This Pan-Out For Some Reason, does earn herself advice from him about her obsessiveness or whatever. havent thought about it too much and actually propped sierra up as me having way more to say about her than i actually do,, but they do bond. they get a little bonding.

also: plane explosion. theres a little scene here that lives in my head wherein heather, frazzled from the explosion and having voted against alejandro, kinda blows up at noah? lashing out at him etc etc,, noah, par for the course, doesnt react -- mostly. he does just get up and leave, and both heather and alejandro get to hear one tiny little intake of breath that sounds vaguely like he might be crying. but he is Gone. (he breaks down around the interns instead, and fully resolves to himself that this is the final three and he was definitely making third place)

anyway beyond that i think it would be funny if the tiebreaker was actually heather and alejandro and noah some how finagles his way out of being tied up to be the first person to hit the water. thus taking himself out of the game and promising a 'dramatic finale between rivals' like hes very aware chris was gunning for.

^ this is,, tbh idk how 'canon' any of this will be?? if ill keep this as a loose outline and just change noahs character and dynamics,, idk idk. its getting late i cant really think and my god this is so so so much longer than i intended.

[yukito-mutsuki]

taking custody of them from eve. so i gave them some fun outfits... (click on images for better quality)

(extra doodle + rambling about knk/designs under cut. oh my jesus i spent way longer than i expected on the ramble if you read it id be eternally grateful!!)

put them together becasue they are my babies anyway

i've totally overanalyzed kara no kioku because: what is even happening in this manga??? i'm not sure but i think it could be happening BETTER!!! my brain has created dots that dont even exist and started to connect them. i also very much love motifs/symbols so theres that.

Ramble Time: Let's talk Nagi. He's one of the first notable "antagonists" yet I don't see people discuss him? There's a few points that I use as the basis for my rambling, like him being bullied that causes his shadow to form in the first place, being a bit naive that belies his 'desire for destruction'/his desire to be in what he believes is 'right', as well as him trying to find a reason to be alive (actually, i completely forgot about this until i went back and skimmed knk for my ramble!) It's seriously unfortunate how well the Kara no Kioku cast (that aren't MCs -- also debatable?) could be written if there was just a bit more time focusing on them.

A while back when I was rereading Kara no Kioku, I mistook his shadow's transformation (you can see bits and pieces of it in ch14) to take an appearance similar to a plague doctor's mask, though I soon realized that was not the case, I also thought that fits Nagi's character somewhat well...

(bewarned!! i suck at history so things may be wrong) I'm assuming most people know what the bubonic plague is; being basically one of the worst things to hit the Middle Ages, and I will also be assuming most people know what a plague doctor is -- there were a good amount of plague doctors hired by governments without medical experience trying to cure people of a disease they hadn't found a cure to yet. If we put the concept of heart desolation/shadows in general in place of this info, Nagi fits the bill! He has little knowledge of zingai and their workings, whose being used as Yuu to "cure/correct" his tormentors, (well, its technically spreading an illness if anything, but work with me here!) they were also seen as harbingers of death, which aligns with how the desolation incidents and how most people involved get inflicted with it.

Nagi's zingai also has bug like antennae and wings, which I choose to interpret as a butterfly mainly for recognizability/'cause it's fun. I suppose if I were to try and find meaning in here -- butterflies are most commonly used to show the process of metamorphosis; growth into an adult through multiple stages. Of course, not with adulthood, but how Nagi comes to realize his character from his first appearance to his final. Butterflies are stereotypically seen as the most beautiful kind of insect; perhaps we can say that 'beauty' was Nagi trying to find his desire to live throughout everything? That's just me making stuff up on the spot.

My favorite time of all... Yukito time! He's awesome. Can you tell I like him? Unfortunately also suffers a bit from not-enough-character-development-itis like his dear friend Nagi. Yukito's backstory/details essentially involves how he's attempted to conceal his emotions from anyone he worries might take advantage of them -- he's pretty scared of being vulnerable. I wanted to have his outfit come across as soft/dainty... and then I gave him a big 'ole sword to contrast that. (also because he deserves to have it but thats off-topic) It's like a papercut, if that means anything.

I really wanted to give him a prince-like vibe, now I can't say I have any experiences with royalty (except that time i stood in the cold for like two hours to see king felipe... that hurt my legs a lot!!) but I feel like they're the type of people that encapsulate "look, but don't touch". I chose to use 'prince' over 'king' here, because while a prince is certainly in a position of power, they fall under the power of a king. The king here is... Yuu. I don't imagine there's much to explain here.

Going back to "powerful prince" idea, I feel Yukito holds some sort of power over Rei -- not physically (we know the outcome of that) but mentally. After all, it's not everyday you decide to go to hell to save for best friend from the literal devil. Yes, it is said that is Rei's motivation is the need to 'save' everyone who's been put in this mess, not just Yukito, but in a way, Yukito is sort of the initiative for this plan! Rei is so willing to start putting himself on the line once Yukito is involved. that Mai literally has to remind him to think straight instead of charging into danger impulsively. Here we come to 'keys' -- recent chapters that involves Yukito associates him with the idea of "being the key", that being the last piece that Yuu need's to get access to Rei and Q-Ta. I'm sure with how I described Rei's reaction, that Yuu is very much correct in this.

It's somewhat difficult to talk about Yukito without bringing up Rei, considering how their stories are so intwined (or, yukito being used to further rei's plot, but i prefer not to think about it like that.)

It was a bit of a last minute addition, but I thought it'd be neat to add that exposed 'sliver' of his back-skin. It's a showcase of his vulnerability again! It's not only to literally use the expression "backstabbed", but it's also in the shape of a heart to represent... well, his heart. Yukito is the only character to not possess a zingai when the story takes place (though he had one as a child,) which is interesting in itself; furthering the idea of him trying to hide his emotions even more.

I've written so much, aha. There might be more I wanted to add but forgot in the process, so I'm open to discussion. Seriously so. Please disscuss Kara no Kioku with me. I'm happy to share my thoughts on this series, since it's consumed so much time in my brain, hopefully someone enjoys it~ really hoping these designs convey the ideas behind them well! Character design is honestly difficult... I should leave it here; can you tell I love to ramble about my hyperfixations?