#i knew this was one of potential outcomes of my blood results lol

[absolutelyfibulas]

Ya boy Dutch needs an MRI

[www-artforoddballs]

Alright, so notice. Most of you probably know this, since you're following me for the Autistic Levi stuff (thank you, we're closing in on 100 followers!!!!), but people with autism can have "tantrums". I've kinda touched on this in a previous post (it's a full meltdown, but you can see that post here https://www-artforoddballs.tumblr.com/post/644803780958879744/autistic-levi-angstkinda-i-guess-this-is-him). For those of you who DON'T know, an autistic tantrum is not the same thing as what you'd think of in regards to a toddler or kid, it's just the word used for it. This is a mistake my mother and I made when getting the paperwork done while I was going through testing that later got cleared up lol

I had a tantrum yesterday, and so I figured that I could post about Leviathan having a tantrum, since it's still ready on my mind. I don't care if anyone else is proud of me for coping with it as well as I did, since it's a major improvement from last time I had one, but I am proud of myself!...with that in mind, here we go!!

There will be some angst in this post, like the last post in relation to this one, but like the last post, it turns out fine.

However.

Trigger warning for things such as self harm, both physical and verbal. If you or a loved one is self harming, either reach out to someone for help or reach out to that person to help, yeah?

OK on with the post.

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First of all, Levi's autism is part of why his brothers always agree to help when there's a raffle for tickets or something like that on the DDD messages, because he can get overwhelmed if they don't at least help, even if he doesn't win in the end.

They figured out that his autism was the culprit for this shortly after his diagnosis.

Now when I'm writing for Levi, I like to think that his diagnosis was around the early 1990s since, while autism was a separate diagnosis in 1980, it didn't really start becoming fairly accepted and expanded upon until 1987. Hence why everyone is mostly used to it by now, but are still sometimes off put by his odd behavior; for them, as beings that have been around since...the beginning of the universe, pretty much as far as we know, but for at LEAST since humans were around (so at VERY least 2.5 million years now, but potentially up to around 7 million years (if they haven't been around since the beginning of creation)), this would be like...I dunno, give me a second.

Waiting

Waiting...

Okay, so from 1990(earliest year I have in mind) to 2019 (the year it was released) is 29 years. That's a minimum of 1/86,206.89th of their lifespan, and a maximum of 1/475,862,068.96th of their total lifetime.

So this is a VERY recent development for them on the grand scheme of things, but I digress.

So they're still figuring everything out, especially as the human race continues to learn about the condition itself.

So the first time Levi threw a tantrum and they recognized it for what it was...it was certainly interesting.

What had happened was exactly the situation described; Levi had wanted to go to a concert in the human world and they were raffling off free tickets. Except, unlike now, his brothers hadn't offered their support. They hadn't in the past, why would this time be any different?

Except now they viewed it through a different light. Leviathan had an image in his head that he desired so badly and had asked his brothers to support him, hopeful, only to be rejected at every turn. That he was used to, but it was still upsetting.

He put that to the side, though. He really wanted to see this band, and these were VIP tickets where you got to hang out with the band for a few hours after the concert! They'd cost a LOT of human money, and while they COULD afford it, he knew Lucifer would be bringing hell down upon him if he used that amount of family funds on a concert. And his anxiety was already somewhat raised, so he decided to enter the raffle on his own.

He sat there for hours, waiting for the results to come in. He'd hyped this up in his brain the entire time; He'd win, go to an amazing concert, have dinner with the band, maybe even make some friends....!...and then the results came back. He hadn't won.

As per usual, our snek boi went into one of his rants about how unfair it was, but instead of going on a rampage or something like that, locked himself up in his room and cried, hating himself for getting so excited over nothing.

As I mentioned before, I've made another post about a tantrum/getting too overwhelmed slipping into something even more dire, as that's almost always what happens to me. This would be in the 90s, so this would be their first real incident with one of these moments where they had the proper diagnosis, so bear with me, there will be some angst here, but like the other post, it'll be fine.

So Mammon ends up feeling bad for rejecting his little brother, and, not knowing it was too late, decided to go to his room and offer his support. It was almost Leviathan's birthday anyways, and Mammon knew how rejection felt and how much it sucked. So, he knocked on Leviathan's door.

No response. He knocked again...still no response, but a quiet sob.

Right away, Mammon switched from semi-carefree to worried. "Levi...?"

Again, no response. He decided to just go in and check on his brother...

The door was locked. And he smelled blood.

"Leviathan, I need you to open the door," Mammon said with a half hearted chuckle, his voice now becoming slightly strained. "Because if ya don't, I'm gonna have t' break the door down."

"Just go away!" Leviathan cried from inside his room. "Just leave me alone, you jerk!"

"I ain't goin' anywhere. Either open the door or I'm gonna break it down. Those are your two choices."

A moment of silence, before Mammon sighs, stretching, as he transforms into his demon form.

"Alright, option two it is."

He rammed into the door repeatedly, before the wood finally splintered and fell to the ground with a loud thud. Mammon quickly looked around, eyes widening as he saw Leviathan digging his own sharpened nails into his arms, multiple raked wounds, made by the same culprit, carved into his skin.

"Levi...look at ya..." Mammon said, voice faltering, tears welling up in his eyes. "I...how long has..."

"Just shut up! Don't act like you care about me, I'm the freak of our family, remember?! I'm the one whose brain isn't right, I'm just a shut-in, good for nothing, re-!"

He was quickly cut off by Mammon going to him and hugging him.

"I don't care who you are. You talk about my brother like that again and I'll kill you. Alright? You're a little off, but you ain't a freak, and your brain works just fine as is. You're perfect just the way you are, and if anybody else says any different, I'm gonna beat them the fuck up. Including you. Got that? So what if you've got that fancy lable on ya now...? Labels like that matter, but it didn't change ya. You're still my cringe, annoying as hell little weirdo of a brother...and I wouldn't have ya any other way."

Leviathan fully listened to Mammon talk, before clinging to him, breaking down sobbing again, and trying to explain what happened through his tears, the older demon gently rubbing his back and allowing him to cry it out, making sure no more harm was done.

A while later, once Levi had calmed down, Mammon ruffled his hair.

"Let's get you cleaned up, yeah? Lucifer is already gonna kill me for breaking your door, but he'd be even more pissed if I just left you here with those wounds."

So they did. And Mammon, after telling a VERY angry Lucifer what had happened hours later, had surprisingly NOT gotten chewed out by the eldest brother. Instead, that day, the entire family had a long discussion, and they all agreed that if it was something as small as entering a raffle, or even if it was bigger but not an inconvenience to anyone in the slightest, they'd all help out from then on. It's not like it was hard, and it would save Levi from hours of stress and negativity toward himself and others around him.

They also made a plan for if a tantrum were to happen while someone was around, or if he became too overwhelmed and started to spiral...because, as annoying as he could be, Leviathan was still family. And they loved him, oddities and all.

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Alright, so...that was the post! I hope it was okay. I know I've written about this type of thing before a little, but different situations can end up with the same negative outcome, like being in an overwhelming situation, or not being able to change your thinking and not easily being able to get over your expectations. I've personally suffered with both, and it's a regular thing for me, so I like writing about it, because maybe, just maybe, it'll help someone out, or help someone that isn't autistic understand a friend or relative or classmate or employee better. And I love these characters, I really do. The only ironic thing is that I see so much of myself in Leviathan, but I adore him and despise myself. Go figure 😂

Regardless, I hope you enjoyed, and if there's anything you guys have questions about (in regards to me and my experience), or any specific writing requests, asks are fully open!

Thanks so much for being here to support me, you have no idea how much it means to a little oddball such as myself.

[sweetbutteryspacejesus]

NNT SPOILERS

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Notes:

This is what I have written of the prologue for a Nanatsu fanfic - which I will upload soon, I hope - with which I won the local literature contest, although I will possibly modify it to be a little experiment with a new format of "" novel "". I'm still writing the first episode, but it's already pretty fun to write. It's my fix-it fanfic and I choose what gives me comfort lmfao. :)

It's not on it's fully potential tho' but anyway I was... well,,, I just want it to....probably I'll delete later lol.

Enjoy, ¿I guess?

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At first, she didn't notice them. Not until the consequences were very striking. She had to help Arthur as her ward, she had consumed too much effort toward this experiment to fail now. That had kept her entertained, although that beautiful ending of hers would soon change. Arthur was adjusting well to the ruling, she expected no less from her tutelage. He was noble and honourable, although he was still somewhat innocent a quality that almost disappeared during the holy war. There wasn't a lot of things she valued, but that was one of the things she still allowed herself to look longingly at, still, her decision was already made. She had chosen Arthur, for so long, throughout the war... That was her purpose, that was what filled her. The prophecy of that King able to unite and rule Britannia. She did what she had to do and she didn't regret doing it. She didn't.

Her hand came to rest on her face. She didn't regret the people she had left out. And so she chose Arthur. "The memorial would be soon", she thought as she ran her fingers across her jaw. She wondered if someone would come. Definitely none of the deadly sins, not after that outcome. So this time she would likely go alone, as she had been all her life. Not that one-off company, the seven deadly sins, not the one who always knew how to see right through her. Escanor. It was ironic, every time she saw her marks she felt a warmness expand through her body, comforting her haunting guilt. She didn't remember the exact words he said to her in his last moments, but there was always the same disturbing feeling in the memory. Useless. She couldn't remember if she had ever felt that way. There were always firsts times, she supposed, even for a person who had lived 3000 years. Sometimes things that make the least sense can be the answer. In this case, the answer to why her triumph had been so unsatisfactory. Normally when she had filled her curiosity a shot of pleasure ran through her veins. The pleasure of knowing. It was her only addiction, her way of living. Since she was little, following the example of her distant father. Until she met Meliodas. Some might believe that she didn't have a heart however it was not true, her pulse was as alive as the blood that ran through her veins. Although of course, the metaphorical one... The right person but at the wrong time, too late. Isn't it ironic? But it was over now, Isn't it?

Her gaze fell on the book. King and Diane had thought that she was the one who should have it, in the end, all those poems were for a single owner: her. After his words, both of their words. She could afford these thoughts, it was his day after all.

She wondered how many would come, of course, there would be at least 3 of them missing.

She brought her hands to the handkerchief, putting on the piece of cloth. She didn't usually allow people to see her like this. With the passage of days, the absence of him, those burns were something more intimate. Like his poems, this was the first, last and the only poem she dedicated to him. Only to him. She would treat them as such, also she didn't want to waste time with looks from those ignorant who didn't understand their meaning. Few people could.

She closed her eyes. With the actual circumstances, it would be difficult to pass by without being seen. But still, she arrived just before noon, the sun right in the middle of the sky. Rhitta was glistening. Someone - another mystery to her - had planted a couple of flowers around the weapon and its roots were climbing up, clinging to the small nameplate that gave it its meaning to the always still weapon.

- Good morning, Escanor.- She walked, the words weren't something that used to come from her lips in recent days. Not that she had anyone to talk to daily. But she liked to do this thing where humans talked to objects which belonged to dead people out of pity. What a pity that he died. She had wondered many times if that was what she missed: Being heard. ¿What was the missing piece? - It seems we will be alone again.- She lowered the reddish handkerchief feeling the cold air brush against the scars.- You know, everyone is busy. Diane and King protecting their clans... Gowther is visiting the world. It seems that they're beginning to forget you.- Inevitably, she paused.- You know, I'm working on a new poison extracted from the darkness of demons. I'm trying to apply the same method that my spell-orbs. It's not of much use at the moment, but who knows ... maybe Arthur needs something like that.- No, that... didn't feel right. He always liked to listen to her but...

- From what I know he's trying to expand Camelot. I hadn't told you before, but I'm not his direct assistant anymore. After the battle of the clans his trust... At least he lets me live here, not like fairies or giants anyway. I have to say that he has made his exceptions, he has to maintain an image, but perhaps his decision was not the correct one. - Her expression changed, looking away. If there had been someone closer, she wouldn't have said it.- Maybe mine wasn't either. But what matters is that Arthur is safe for the moment. But there is a somewhat disturbing prediction that has recently gained a lot of interest among the knights of the castle. - She brought her hand to his chin, following in the same monotonous tone of voice.- I don't know if I should worry. Arthur is more than capable. Although the figure of the knights of the apocalypse is ... interesting.

More than interesting, it was disturbing. The existence of the deadly sins had shown her how a kingdom could be demolished by a few people. If that prophecy was true and they had enough power, the expansion of Camelot could be compromised. She knew only a few people who could have enough power to deal with the chaos. She didn't want to doubt the new court that Arthur had, but, there was no one in the fairy or giant clan who could stand up to him.

- Of course, the power of chaos is at another level. - She dismissed the issue with a wave of her hand and a smile. - What do you think Escanor? What words do you have in mind? You would take care of me from the afterlife, didn't you say that?. - The surprise lasted a few seconds, she vaguely remembered that phrase.

The words of the silence grew heavier as she waited for an answer: No one. She turned her face back to her neutral state, wasting that smile. There were no laugh marks on her face. Only her tightly clenching jaw expecting a different result from an experiment already completed. Two, three, four times ... It was useless, she didn't find comfort in this silly tradition, it only left her with this devastating feeling. The warmth of the poems was gone. Escanor had disappeared.