#i knew her arc was partly about growing into herself and her abilities (partly because Marisha is one of the newest to the game)

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

Keyleth..... Babe............

[samuel-vimes]

I've seen a few people saying that Catra's happy ending was unearned, and that she didn't have enough of a redemption arc to make her relationship with Adora healthy, and I think I've finally put my finger on why I don't agree.

She didn't need a redemption arc to switch sides - she needed the one person in her life that she ever truly loved to show that their connection was still important and that Catra was worth saving.

Adora's defection from the Horde crushed Catra and severed the only true connection to another person she'd ever had. Catra struggled to make friends growing up due to the competitive and abusive environment of the Horde, so Adora was her only link to the part of herself that knew how to love. When Adora defected from the Horde for the sake of other people, Catra didn't understand how Adora could care enough about others to do that, since caring about anybody other than Adora (ex. Shadow Weaver) had only ever gotten her hurt. She'd learned to lock off her feelings to everyone else, so Adora's betrayal was incredibly impactful and destroyed what capacity to trust she had left.

We see how her attempts to build connections throughout the series leading up to the arrival of Horde Prime causes her strife over and over again. She tries to connect with Shadow Weaver, only to be manipulated and betrayed. She tries to connect with Hordak, only to find the relationship purely based on her usefulness instead of any real trust or affection. The two people who try to connect with her the most, Entrapta and Scorpia, are eventually driven away through the self-defense mechanisms Catra has developed over a lifetime of emotional abuse from Shadow Weaver. She becomes consumed with her goal of conquering Etheria for the Horde partly as a method of self-destruction - she is desperately, achingly lonely, and her pain turns into rage which she aims at everything around her because if there is nobody to reject her she cannot be hurt by rejection again.

In the end, what Catra needed to turn to the side of good was the acknowledgement from someone else that she has the capacity for good left in her, after everything. She gets that from Glimmer, who she chooses to save. I think that Glimmer's plea for Catra to do one good thing in her life began Catra's realisation that she even had the ability to choose good. Then, Adora risks everything for her - finally choosing Catra over anything else. Adora's choice to save Catra over everything wasn't something Catra manipulated her into doing, but it was the only thing that could have convinced Catra that she had any worth left - Adora chose her even after everything, because she recognised that Catra still had light in her and was still worth saving.

When Catra wakes to find Adora has rescued her, her worldview is turned upside down again, much like when Adora initially defected from the Horde. Adora's defection had her believing that she wasn't worth as much to Adora as the Rebellion Etherians that Adora had only met that day, and her whole life Adora had been the only person who made her feel like she was worth anything. Catra had an understanding of the Horde's cruel and evil nature that Adora lacked since she had more first hand experience of it than Adora did. Shadow Weaver was abusive to them both, but Catra very much bore the brunt of the physical abuse and more overt mental torture. Adora had managed to keep her innocence through their messed up childhood, allowing her to develop a moral compass. Catra's moral development was skewed incredibly by her upbringing, because in the Horde right and wrong didn't matter, only strength and loyalty to the cause. I believe Adora's choice to leave the Horde on moral grounds was the spark that led to Catra finally developing a sense of morality, something deeply terrifying to her. Adora's choices had finally forced Catra to consider right and wrong, and she knew where she fell but could see no path other than using strength to force her wrong choices to become the right ones in the eyes of the world - something she believed Horde victory would achieve.

When Adora chose to risk saving her despite it being the tactically poor choice, Catra was confronted with the realisation that despite it all, Adora still cared about her. She'd rebuilt the worldview that Adora shattered upon leaving the Horde around her own anger with herself and the world that formed her, resulting in a foundational belief in her unloveable nature and irredeemability. Adora choosing to care despite that broke surface of Catra's self hatred and allowed her to begin to heal. Bow, Glimmer and Entrapta's acceptance of her despite all the terrible things she had done reinforced the new message she was beginning to understand - it wasn't too late for her to make the right choices.

Catra needed to know that she could be loved and that the world wouldn't punish her for it before she could begin to heal, and healing was the only way for her to stop her self destructive cycle of pain and anger and loss.

If the show had continued past season 5, I think we would have seen Catra attempting to make amends, as we see the beginning of her doing so once she joins the Rebellion. However, I think that her acceptance into the Best Friend Squad and the love she gets to share with Adora coming at the beginning of her turn to good is a fundamental part of what makes her so striking as a character - here is someone who has done unspeakable things being given love and forgiveness so easily because that's what she needed. You can have those things too, if you need them.

TL;DR: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is a show about hope, and that hope is granted to EVERYONE. You don't have to be redeemed to have hope. It's not too late for anybody, despite what they've done, because hope isn't something that's earned - it's there, and it's found through love for others, and everyone gets it unconditionally.

[animeyanderelover]

What's about Kurapika with a Darling who is a member of the Genei Ryodan, but she is a original member that torture and kill the Kurta clan

...No words...

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, paranoia, kidnapping, harsh behavior, abusive behavior, controlling behavior, manipulation, sabotage, mind-breaking

s/o is from the Genei Ryodan

⛓That is quite literally a very toxic relationship to have considering that you killed and tortured his own clan, people he loved more than anything else. It makes Kurapika feeling beyond conflicted and it twists his feelings in a not good way. He finds himself constantly torn apart between hate and love for his darling which affects his mentality and the way he is treating his darling greatly. There are times where he tries to treat her nicely and like a real lover, but there are also moments where he grows incredibly bitter and almost hateful, making him act much more colder and harsh with her.

⛓One thing to start with is that he would have to either have to meet her before knowing who she is and maybe also before she knew who he is, meaning it happened before the York New auction, or he would capture her somewhat afterwards and keep her for some reasons alive, to get on informations for example. In either case it has to be said if his darling would just be a cold and heartless killer, he would kill her without a doubt, he hates the Phantom Troupe too much for that. So he has to see something more to her, that she has a heart and is kind, perhaps even apologizes for what she has done to him and his clan. That is of course no good, it doesn't bring him his people back. But it might show him over time that she is not a complete monster.

⛓Kurapika is...extremely irritated when discovering his feelings and it will end up being a bit of hell for his darling as well. That is if he would meet her for the first time during the Yorknew City arc and try to get on informations from her. In Kurapika's eyes every single member of the Phantom Troupe is evil, all are criminals and even if his view on you should change over time, he still tells himself that you're a villain who happens to carry a bit more humanity inside of you. But that's all and you still killed too many. It is one of those very few times where Kurapika refuses to admit his feelings and it leads him to lashing out on you, not understanding his feelings. Why? You are the person he trained to kill and hate his whole life. So why do you make him weak?

⛓It happens slowly, but at one point he will somewhat stop and his feelings will become more visible and more obvious for him as well as maybe you. He stops hurting you, though you might have a pretty high pain tolerance, not being able to inflict damage on you anymore and he can't bring himself to use his Judgement chain on you either, knowing that you will break the conditions he made for you which ends with you dying in the end, loyal to your members and your leader. Because personally think that if he would have used it on his darling from the start, she would have rather died than tell him anything, especially after he killed Uvogin and Pakunoda.

⛓That's why I feel that the whole meeting her before knowing who she is, is more likely, though even there I see troubles. To start with Kurapika will tell his darling at one point who he is and what his plans are, alarming her already which might lead to her distancing herself from him due to feeling not worthy of being friends with someone who she killed the whole family from without him knowing. What else would someone feel in such a situation? It might confuse Kurapika, especially if he already liked her a bit and saw her as a friend.

⛓And after finding out that she is from the Genei Ryodan, Kurapika is a pure mess of emotions and the thought of just having been friends with a criminal this whole time messes badly with his mind. Still though, he just can't bring himself to hurt her, especially not if she hesitates as well when facing him, not wanting to hurt himself either. Of course she would sacrifice her own life for Chrollo and the troupe, but as I said, Kurapika won' fall for someone plainly motionless and cruel, especially if this person killed everyone in his clan. So there might be a chance that all of this has a hard toll on the darling as well which leads her to just realizing that she can't bring herself to kill him nor be a help hor the troupe either. It might bring her to the point of despair where she might just ask him to kill her, not being able to live like this any longer.

⛓It makes Kurapika stop in his tracks, seeing it on the one hand as a chance to kill another member of the troupe, to slaughter all of them. But as soon as he tries to strike down, he just freezes, body shaking and emotions stirring up to the extent inside of him where he feels like throwing up at any moment.

⛓Instead of killing you, he kidnaps you, knocking you out and taking you with him, keeping you chained up as often as possible and also making sure that you stay unconscious as often as possible so you don't put up too much of a fight. Kurapika just doesn't know what to do with you at this point, he can't kill you nor can he let you go. So instead he takes you with him, imprisoning you somewhere whilst deciding afterwards what will happen with you. And even in here the first few weeks or even months will be hell. He has his outbursts, lashing verbally as well as maybe even physically out on you when being triggered too much.

⛓Kurapika feels more than anything just extremely betrayed from you, a person he thought he could trust which is why he grows extremely paranoid and doesn't want to let you out of his side, terrified you will do something and try to attack him. This is the reason why he might actually really just search for a way to get rid of your nen abilities, though he also knows that this would make you utterly helpless if you are being attacked by someone. He debates over this topic days and nights and if you really end up trying to escape and attacking him with your abilities, he'll do it.

⛓He is just desperate to find an excuse to why you are the way you are, stealing and killing, without having to see you as a bad person anymore. He wants to believe in something which might push him to the point of becoming partly delusional due to not bearing this knowledge whilst being aware. He might come up with this certain mood swings where he manages to convince himself that his darling was being forced to do all of this and that she's just being manipulated from all the othe members of the Phantom Troupe.

⛓Which is why Kurapika totally ends up wanting to break his darling's mind the one or another way, though he sees it more as helping her. Kurapika feels convinced that he only wants the best for his darling and wants to help her leaving the terrible past behind her, starting a new and better life which he wants to assist her with. And he becomes extremely pushy with it as well, desperate to make her switch sides and believe what he believes. Kurapika becomes an incredibly controlling, strict and manipulative person, constantly pushing his darling's buttons and forcing her to endure all of this. And if he knows that she feels guilty about what she has done, he will mercilessly strike and tell her in detail how he felt after his clan died and what she did to them, letting her recall those moments again. Kurapika becomes cruel, not necessarily physically, but more mentally since he tortures his darling. And whilst he does feel guilty when he manages to constantly break her, he never completely loses the grudge and bitterness he holds against her. He just justifies his behavior with saying that this is the only way to help you out of all of this.

⛓And even if you do start to love him and bend to his will, Kurapika will never truly trust you, his paranoia constantly telling him that all of this might just be an act and you will escape as soon as he trusts you and leaves you free space which is exactly why he is so controlling to start with. Next to that he is beyond horrified what might happen if the Phantom Troupe comes after you and either lures you back or ends up killing you because Kurapika also used the chance to squeeze as much informantions out of you as he could about them. Of course he does grow softer over time, but it is just visible that he'll never be able to calm completely down or treat his darling completely normally. He doesn't treat her bad, but when he has his times where he gets haunted from the death of his clan, his darling is not the best person to turn to since seeing her triggers extremely bad memories which is the reason why Kurapika sometimes just has to distance himself from her, literally not being able to stand the sight of her. It is in all honesty a relationship akin to bittersweet and deathly poison if you get what I mean.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

Rhythm of War Review

PART 1

It feels a little separate from the rest of the book to me at the moment because I read it pre-release, but I think it did a good job setting up the rest of the plot. I greatly enjoyed Navani’s perspective and ideas throughout the book, and the first section established her much more firmly as a character than any of the previous books; her couple of chapters in Oathbringer were more focused on politics and her relationship with Dalinar, so it was great yo see much more of her scientific side.

When I first read Part 1 it felt very Kaladin-heavy, but after completing the book I see how it was necessary to establish his burnout in order to set up the rest of the plot. And Chapter 12 (A Way to Help), in addition to being our only chance in the book to see our trio together, did a great job setting up Kaladin’s later work with mentally ill people, both by establishing the need and showing what kind of help was needed. I was nonetheless quite frustrated by Kaladin reacting to Shallan’s DID with “that would be nice...”. She’s having serious problems, Kal! She’s your friend and could use support, not you regarding her issues as a neat way to take a holiday from one’s own brain! Kaladin’s very kind and caring with those he chooses to protect, as we see with Bridge 4 in TWOK and the mentally ill people in Chapter 25, but sometimes I think he’s not a very good friend. I know he was not in a good place, but in Oathbringer when they were in Shadesmar Shallan had just had a complete breakdown and she still went out of her way to emotionally support Kal, so it would be nice to see his friendships become a bit more two-way. (For similar reasons, I liked seeing the moments of Shallan-to-Adolin emotional support in Shadesmar in ROW, because a lot of their relationship in OB was her relying on him; it felt balanced in ROW as both supported each other.)

PART 2

I loved the Shadesmar arc! The emotional arcs for both main characters were very strong - I had been looking forward to seeing Adolin’s reaction to (in-universe) Oathbringer, and it did not disappoint; the conflict between genuinely loving Dalinar and being unable to forgive what he’d done was well-drawn. I was so pissed off at Dalinar in that last conversation! You burned his mom to death, you do not get to take the moral high ground and lecture him. And I do see a difference between killing innocents, as Taravangian does, and killing someone who’s effectively declared war on you and has a history of treason.

I also liked Adolin’s sense of being generally at sea with his purpose in the world. He’s been trained primarily as a warrior and general, and his combat skills have been made virtually obsolete by the Radiants. And at the same time, the reader can see what makes Adolin special, and it’s not combat skills - though those do give him a big heroic moment in a pinch - it’s his care and compassion for others. The way he interacts with Maya and slowly brings her life is absolutely beautiful. Chapter 35 was such a wonderful Shadolin moment (and starspren are amazing!); he really gets her and understands what she needs. Chapter 24 was sweet too, though super cheesy.

I spent the entire Shadesmar arc side-eying Veil and Radiant, especially with Veil’s takeover stunt at the start, but in the end they genuinely were supporting and helping Shallan. So in retrospect I do like scenes like the one with Veil trying to draw Shallan out by drawing Adolin badly.

Spoeking of drawing, I love the spren art, it’s some of the best art so far, and fascianting to see how they all look!

Kaladin finding non-violent ways to protect, culminating in pioneering Rosharan therapy - and Teft insisting on staying to support him - was everything I wanted for him. His arc could have just been that, and I’d have been perfectly happy. Chapter 25 (Devotary of Mercy) is still my favourite in the entire book.

Unfortunately, then Odium’s forces had to show up and SPOIL EVERYTHING. I’m rather appalled by how quickly Urithiru fell - the enemy forces were literally in the pillar room by the time anyone noticed them.

PART 3

Part 3 was a real slog for me, partly because it is a slog and partly because I hit it at the height of my sleep deptivation. (It’s really...not a good thing to be reading on zero sleep at the literal darkest-hour-before-dawn.) Kaladin’s arc in Urithiru is just so exhausting; he’s so clearly worn to the boneand everything feels so hopeless. Kaladin’s had bad times before - Bridge 4 in TWOK, for example - but then the reader could see progress even if Kaladin couldn’t. (Kaladin: I’m getting nowhere and failing at everything! Everyone else: Kaladin, you were literally just miraculously resurrected.) Here, though - well, I genuinely spent the whole book from Part 3 through to the climax thinking that they would lose Urithiru.

Navani’s arc, and Venli’s, I did enjoy.

The other section of Part 3, in Emul, just felt rather disjointed. It had some interesting moments, but it didn’t have a sense of cohesion or of where it was going. I was entertained by Dalinar’s musings on the merits of despositism and the need to free Queen Fen from having - horrors! - a parliament. (I wonder if the Fourth Ideal will be something like “I will recognize that it can sometimes be beneficial to have people oppose my decisions.”)

PART 4

Again, adored the Shadesmar arc. Really strong character arcs for both Adolin and Shallan, combined with excellent plots and a strong sense of momentum. I was pretty sure Maya would be crucial in the trial, but that didn’t make the moment any less powerful (though Sanders probably shouldn’t have tried quite as hard to replicate his “You. Cannot. Have. My. Pain.” moment from Oathbringer). I need to put together a proper post on the theme of choice in Oathbringer, because that moment - combined with Kaladin’s fourth ideal and the conflict with Lirin over the way he’s inspiring the resistance - really crystallized it for me. To treat a person’s choice and sacrifices as something done to them is to devalue their volition, their agency. Maya is put in the horrifying situation of being used as a prop and treated as evidence of a point that she is diametrically opposed to and turned into a weapon against someone she loves, and it’s enough to drive her to regain her voice and speak for herself. I am very curious to know what specifically led the spren to agree to the Recreance!

I did not remotely guess what Shallan’s secret was, even though in retrospect the Cryptic deadeye should have made it incredibly obvious. I think her fear that she’d lose Adolin if it came out was overblown - he already knows she killed both her parents, he’s not going to be fazed by “I was so distraught over having to kill my own mother in self-defence at age ten that I broke my Radiant oaths”. But obviously it’s not something Shalkan would be able to consider duspassionately. Her arc was rather terrifying once I realized that Formless was, well, basically her, but more specifically, Shallan’s idea of the monster that she was, and her breakdown was driving her to “accept who she was” as being that monster. I like Shallan and was never that into Veil - though she was fairly good in this book and went out well - so I’m not sad to see the back of her.

I haven’t managed to work through all the espionage/mole elements. Yes, Pattern used the box to talk to Wit, and Radiant killed Ialai so Shallan wouldn’t, but who’s Mraize’s spy close to Dalinar?

This arc ended too abruptly. I think Sanderson could easily have traded a Kaladin chapter in Part 3 for an extra chapter wrapping up events in Shadesmar; maybe one where Shallan first goes to see Testament.

I enjoyed the Urithiru arc in Part 4 as well. Switching to Bridge 4 points of view other than Kaladin was a good move - we already know he’s worn to ribbons, so we don’t need to be inside his head to see it. “The Dog and the Dragon” was amazing, and the most appropriate story ever for Kaladin. (I get how Wit’s schtick of telling incredibly topical stories and then saying “no, I don’t have a point, what point?” would be really aggravating in person.) It was nice to see him be gentle with Kaladin for a change, the way he is with Shallan - his two previous encounters with Kaladin read as rather baiting, which annoyed me.

Dabbid was - I don’t know quite how to say this, but his inclusion struck an amazing balance in this book. Navani’s arc is all about two amazingly smart people doing science and making incredible breakthroughs, and that is sincerely valued and given importance by the narrative, and then you get chapters like Dabbid’s and one of Taravangian’s emphasizing that a person’s value and ability to contribute is not determined by their intelligence.

Navani’s arc continued to be excellent. All of her research, and the way the story took you through the process, and her complex relationship with Raboniel, was great.

I loved Venli’s character development, and growing willingness to take risks for the sake of others. To me, her arc parallels Dalinar’s in the last book in some ways. If we can love the story of a bloodthirsty conqueror growing to become a good person, why can’t we equally love the story of a coward coming to become a good person? There seems to be a tendency to be more drawn to strength, even in its most terrible forms, than to weakness. To me, Venli’s confession to Rlain and acceptance of his disgust at her was one of the book’s great moments. (And I can’t understand people saying her arc took up two much space. She had 5 chapters in Part 3, and 4 in Part 4. That’s not very many! I’ll grant that the flasbacks packed less punch than some earlier flashback sequences because we already knew the main events - Brandon acknowledged that even before the book came out - but I still liked them well enough, and Venli’s present-day arc was excellent.)

Anyway, the amount of space I’ve spent on this section relative to Part 3 is another strong inducation of the differences in how I feel about them!

PART 5

I should probably start this section with a discussion of Moash. I’ll try to keep it summarized. here - I could, and may, write a short essay on his development through The Stormlight Archive. The first thing that jumps out about Moash’s arc in this book is his reaction to Renarin’s vision in Part 1. I think that vision is showing Moash who he could still be, in a similar way to Shallan’s inspirational drawings of people - both use the Surge of Illumination. So it’s not that Moash is irredeemable; Renarin is specifucally holding out to him the possibility of redemption.

And Moash’s reaction is to run away in terror. Because he desperately wants his decision to be irrevocable. He desperately wants there to only be one possible path forward for him. Because if there are alternative paths, it means he can choose them, and that would mean facing guilt, facing the fact that his past choices were wrong, and his current choices are wrong. And that is exactly what Moash sought to avoid by giving up his pain and sense of guilt to Odium.

Moash is, nonetheless, very much Moash and not Vyre, as evidenced by his continuing obsession with Kaladin. As with his above need to not be wrong, here he needs to feel that he’s right, and the only way he can feel that he’s right is if Kaladin - whom he still deeply admires - makes the same decision as him, and if Moash can convince himself that he’s doing Kaladin a favour in driving him to that point. It’s ironic that he’s given up almost all feeling abd become almost enturely detached, but his worst actions are driven by his attitude towards the one person in the world who he still does have very strong feelings about. By the end of the book, he’s comprehensively broken, to the point that even when his ability to feel is restored he’s unable to even feel genuine remose over the cold-blooded murder of a friend. I don’t know where he’ll go from here - it would be ironic if he was only ever really appealing to Rayse-Odium, and Taravangian-Odium found Moash too much of a flat villain for his purposes and cast him off.

As the plot climaxes go, I thought the ones for Navani and Venli were excellent and very satisfying. I enjoyed Kaladin’s as well and found it cathartic, but it a was moment we all knew had to come, so it didn’t have quite the kick of some of Kaladin’s other big moments. I did love his reconciliation with Lirin. One of the themes of the book was finding common ground despite deeply felt disagreements - with Navani and Raboniel, with Navani and the Sibling, and with humans and singers/Fused more generally - and Kaladin and Lirin’s reconciliation fit well with that. I am far more favourable to Lirin than most people - if you’ve lived as a pacifist in storming Alethkar, which values the lives of its people slightly more than it does crem, you’re going to have been right a solid 95% of the time, where everyone else was wrong. I can make allowances for the other five percent, especially when Lirin’s life lesson from the last five or so years has been “resisting oppression and standing up for what you believe in will destroy everyone you love”.

And on the topic of finding common ground, Leshwi’s reaction to the revelation that Venli was a Radiant was one of the single most beautiful moments of the book, and one of my absolute favourites. It’s gorgeous and moving, and at the same time rather tragic, because - what might have bern different if Venli had revealed herself to Leshwi at the start of the book? How much of the conflict could have been avoided. Singers don’t appear to attract spren as strongly as humans do, which makes Leshwi drawing joyspren particularly powerful. And then the bittersweet note from “My soul is too long owned by someone else”. (Come to think of it, this is another inverted paralell to Moash. This is someone realizing “I was wrong about everything and I’m so glad about that because it means I have a chance to be someone better than I was.”) Oh my goodness, I would love a Leshwi chapter in a later book, just to check in on her and see how she’s doing in her new life with the Singers.

I also loved the climax of Navani’s arc, and was so relieved, because up until that very moment I wasn’t sure if the Sibling would survuve uncorrupted. I know that some people weren’t pleased because the Sibling didn’t even like her, but to me that became a core part of the story, like I said above - people who deeply disagree finding common ground and common cause. That is a key element of being a Bondsmith - the process of bringing people together in spite of their differences - and something that fits Navani so well given the rapport she found with Raboniel. (Though I was conflicted about the latter. On the one hand, she made amazing discoveries that enabled her to save Urithiru. One the other hand, she...kind of collaborated with the enemy and gave them terrible weapons out of intellectual curiosity and a desire to prove herself?) I will grant that it makes the series, and the characters with the most crucial importance to Roshar, rather Kholin-heavy.

For Taravodium, all I can say is - YIPES. I have no idea how to process the implications of that, but I feel like it will be bad. Really really bad. (Taravangian is probably my least favourite character in the entire Stormlight Archive. The attitude of “I am so brave and selfless for doing evil things and look at how wonderful I am for sacrificing my own morality for the benefit of all, you petty selfish people wanting to be good could never make such a grand sacrifice” drives me absolutely nuts. It’s a complete inversion and twisting of morality, and intensely arrogant.)

Dalinar’s encounter with Ishar was fascinating, and I’m very curious to see where this goes. The spren experiments were deeply creepy! And the way Radiant Oaths can temporarily restore a Herald’s sanity was fascinating - I’m very eager to see where this goes in the next book. I suspect that Dalinar may have made a very serious mistake with regards to this trial my combat, and I have no idea how/if they’re going to fit Szeth’s whole arc into the ten days before the duel. I’ve been eagerly anticipating Szeth’s arc ever since The Way of Kings!

[akylodarkly83]

Reylo, Love and Tragedy

“Reylo is abusive and unhealthy.”

I hear this so often and it’s frustrating to no end.  I’ve known people involved in truly abusive relationships and have witnessed plenty of questionable behavior in my life, so I have my own thoughts that I feel the need to share. 

The thing that people seem to be forgetting about many abusive relationships, is that some of the worst abusers come to you as the perfect companion. They do all the right things, say what you want to hear and woo you into comfortable complacency until you’re dependent on them and then they reveal their true colors when it’s too late for the victim to do anything.

When it comes to Reylo, the complete opposite is true.  She first met Kylo Ren at his absolute worst. The ‘creature in a mask’. She knew exactly what he was at that moment, at least she thought she did until she learned that he was actually Ben Solo. That kind of revelation changes perceptions no matter who you are but the tragedy of him killing his father made it obvious to her and the audience how deep into the darkness he was.

They fought, she won.  In TLJ her character acted completely realistically and appropriately, I thought, especially when she IMMEDIATELY SHOOTS HIM in the first Force Bond Scene, she took after Han more than his son did apparently, but due to the unique circumstances they found themselves, she STILL found herself willing to listen and try to understand him.  By the time she’d held her hand out to him, she’d already forgiven him, at least partly IMO, for what he did before and once they actually touched and had the vision, they clearly reached another level of understanding with each other, even if they misinterpreted the elements.

When he said the infamous line, “you’re nothing but not to me,” it was only after SHE HERSELF ACCEPTED THE TRUTH of her parents.  “They were nobody.”  This had been her central conflict from the beginning; she knew her parents had sold her off for drinking money but she couldn’t accept it and instead chose to believe they were some super secret space spies or something rather than just awful people.  Kylo Ren only pulled his Solo card to get her to admit it, “Go on, say it. You don’t want me to leave because of the way you feel about me,” (sorry, wrong Solo). 

Rey admits it finally, she lets the past die just as he told her to, finally accepting that she was nothing, so when he simply repeats what she JUST ADMITTED, he spins it from a negative to a positive.  “You’re nothing... but not to me.” 

Note: I can fully agree, the boy needs serious work when it comes to declaring his affection, but that’s beside the point ATM.

She seems to understand the meaning but is still heartbroken, who wouldn’t be, srsly, because she can’t stand by and watch her friends and new family die but he also can’t just leave behind the only life where he had any kind of power over his own choices.  Snoke is dead, he’s off the leash, and I absolutely believe him when he said he wanted to create a NEW ORDER not just take over the First Order, he wanted to burn that all to the ground, Hux included and make something new with her.  So yeah, he’s got a touch of megalomania but CAN YOU BLAME HIM?  He was targeted by a child predator and brainwashed in cult like fashion while his own family looked at him sideways and talked about him behind his back like he was some monster no one wanted to acknowledge.  Ben never stood a chance to have a normal life and the fact that his own family lived in constant fear of him turning to the dark side rather than loving him as they should have, he was the perfect prey for Snoke to manipulate.

The takeaway for me is that, real monsters, abusers and scum IRL or movies, put on masks of normalcy and perfection ::cough:: Hux ::cough:: while Ben Solo who’s barely able to hold the light at bay and has now inherited the ability to forge his own path, has to pretend to be a monster to avoid being crushed by the enemies he knows he’s surrounded by.   

If Rey can convince him to return willingly to the light and help him find purpose and meaning in life again, thus ensuring Hans sacrifice wasn’t in vain, that to me is a beautiful story arc and I don’t find how that is abusive if he has a genuine paradigm shift within himself and begins helping people instead of hurting them.  He’s damaged, there’s no denying that, but so are addicts and loved ones suffering mental illness and depression. None of these relationships are easy or ‘healthy’ but if you love someone, you’re willing to be patient and endure harsh words that have no truth behind them because you believe that their life is worth fighting for.

I get it, people don’t have to show compassion or support for their abusers, and if you don’t, you’re not less of a person for it.  The fact of the matter is that there are people who DO want to help others even if they’ve been victimzed by them, but you can fully value your own self worth and love yourself without lowering yourself to their level or succumbing to their manipulations.  Clearly Rey is uniquely qualified to help Ben Solo repair his damaged soul, but even if he can’t, she still has her new family in Finn, Poe and BB-8, and has made peace with her place in the galaxy.  Helping him to fix himself isn’t necessary, but she wants to add a nice bonus chapter to the story and clearly the Force wants the same.

People and relationships are complicated, they always have been, but the tragedy and beauty of falling in love is that sometimes broken people can break others while compassionate people can heal the broken and if they can find a happy medium that allows them to grow into better versions of themselves then that’s something to be cheered on, not condemned.

[daresplaining]

Hey found your blog recently and loved it. I just binged DD and the defenders and what was really jarring for me was the end scene. I didn't peg Matt as suicidal, as he decided to remain behind with Electra. I can't help but think he was prepared to die, whether for Electra or because of her. What's confusing to me was I thought he had laid Electra's hold over him to rest at the end of DD s2, so it just feels like defenders retread old ground. What do you think of the Matt/Electra dynamic?

    Hi, we’re glad you’re enjoying the blog!

    Elektra’s willingness to die at the end was far more jarring to us than Matt’s, since she just spent two shows fighting for autonomy and a life of her own. But we get why Matt did what he did. He doesn’t stay because he wants to die, he stays because he is willing to risk his life to save people– particularly people he loves, like Elektra. He is willing to chance death to rescue her, just as he’s willing to chance death every time he goes out and fights crime. It’s part of being a superhero. And so he stays, refusing to leave her there, fighting up until the very last minute to get her out. For him to abandon her there would have felt out-of-character.

    We’re interested in your choice of words, the idea that Elektra had a “hold” over Matt, and we think we get what you mean. Throughout Daredevil Season 2, Elektra pulls Matt toward the superhero side of his life, in direct detriment to his legal career. And obviously, that is an issue, since Matt needs to find a balance between these two roles. Elektra doesn’t value Matt’s work as a lawyer, she doesn’t think it’s effective, but he does, and we as viewers know how important it is to his character. But at the same time, it’s not like Elektra has him under some kind of spell. These are two people who care deeply about each other, and whether or not Matt’s lifestyle ends up aligning with Elektra’s (which it shouldn’t– they have different priorities, after all), despite any disagreements they have, they still love each other. Even if they go their separate ways, it’s not like they didn’t enjoy being together, or that Matt is trying somehow to escape from her. That’s not the nature of their relationship.

    Overall, we’ve enjoyed their dynamic as it has been established in these shows. It’s not perfect, but it’s still quite good. There are a few different versions of Elektra’s origin in the comics, but our preferred version is the naive, optimistic college student who dreams of changing the world, who suffers tragedy after tragedy until she becomes cold and cynical. That character progression is fascinating on its own, as it makes her a complex character with a compelling narrative arc, but we also love the way it parallels Matt’s story (we wrote a post on this a while ago, right here). This similarity in their character development is part of what, for us, makes them such a compelling pair (romantic and otherwise) in the comics. They understand each other because their experiences are so similar, even though their lives have taken them in completely different directions.

    In the Netflix show we get a very different Elektra, with a unique way of relating to Matt. We like the idea that she initially approached Matt as an assignment for Stick, because we are fascinated by Stick’s relationship with his pupils. We also love the layers in Elektra’s personality, and the ways in which she interacts with Matt. She approaches him while hiding behind a facade– the spoiled, reckless, screw-the-rules rich girl– and eventually, as their bond grows, she reveals to him her true personality. We especially enjoy the flashback to their conversation at Fogwell’s Gym, where they first start digging into each other’s secrets, because that’s key to their relationship: in the comics, Elektra is the first person to whom Matt chooses to reveal his powers, and while Elektra doesn’t have many secrets yet at that point, Matt is one of her first, and only, friends. While in the show, Elektra already knew about Matt’s powers from Stick, her time bonding with him is still real and special for her, since she sees herself in him, and connects with him in a way she’s never experienced before.

    Our main complaint about their dynamic in the show exists on Elektra’s side of the equation. In the comics Elektra is very good at killing, but this mostly comes from the trajectory of her life, not from some innate homicidal tendency. After her time training with the Chaste and the Hand, after having walked away from her college education and lost everyone she cares about, all that is left for her is her skill as an assassin– and so she accepts that and becomes very, very good at it. The Black Sky concept in the Netflix show was mishandled in several different ways, and one side-effect we’re not huge fans of was its impact on Elektra’s psyche. While she doesn’t learn she’s the Black Sky until the end of DD Season 2, she knows from a young age that there’s something wrong with her– something that makes her frightening to the people around her. Her horror at the way people react to her results in severe insecurity and the need to be “loved”. Netflix Elektra longs for someone to understand her, so that she can stop feeling monstrous and unworthy of affection.

   This manifests in a power imbalance in her relationship with Matt: he loves her (most of the time), but she needs him. She is desperate for his validation, crushed when he becomes repulsed by her willingness to kill, and dies for him twice. This is a natural result of the way her character has been constructed in this show, but it’s a removal of agency that is disappointing when compared to her self-assuredness and independence in the comics. We were hoping to see her grow into that self-acceptance in The Defenders, and thus were saddened by her decision to die with Matt at the end. Their relationship works in the comics partly because it’s a meeting of equals– two powerful people with strong personalities and a shared history, who go off and live their own lives, but occasionally bump into each other and have awesome team-ups. We long for their dynamic to reach that point in the show, and for Elektra to stop depending on Matt quite so much.

   A final note: one positive aspect of this dynamic, which we do appreciate, is that it strengthens a weak plot point from the comics: the idea of Matt weakening Elektra. Throughout her introductory arc in Frank Miller’s DD run, a lot of time is spent establishing how badass and deadly Elektra is, the fact that she’s a better fighter than Matt… and then she gets killed by Bullseye, someone Matt has taken down numerous times. The reason for this doesn’t get much development, but the subtext is that drawing up her memories of her time with Matt, and digging into her emotional side– with which she has lost touch over the years– impacts her fighting ability. We’ve always considered this to be weak storytelling. But in the show we also see Matt weaken Elektra, and in this context it makes slightly more sense. Netflix El isn’t weakened by some amorphous emotional disruption. She is weakened because her desire to connect with Matt draws her into behavior that she would never have engaged in otherwise. She knows it’s tactically dumb to go into that warehouse and try to take on the entire Hand at the end of DD Season 2. But she goes in anyway because she gets caught up in Matt’s optimism and the thrill of fighting alongside him. Thus, her death in this universe can still be indirectly blamed on Matt, but in a way that makes more sense than the situation presented in the comics. Any complaints aside, we enjoy this detail.