#i knew he talked about keeping his arizona house after the trade but i didn’t realize it was so close to me lmao

[corbincarroll]

95% sure i just saw christian dvorak and his dad in my safeway parking lot

[hockey-fics]

Hockey Players are Bad News ~ Matthew Tkachuk

Summary: Growing up your older brother Taylor Hall taught you many life lessons, but one he made more clear than the rest: don’t even think about dating a hockey player. 

Warnings: Language (if we’re still counting that)

Word Count: ~3,800

A/N: We’re just pretending Taylor Hall didn’t move to Ontario as a kid and stayed in Calgary in this.

You were no stranger to hockey. You had never played the game yourself. But when your older brother Taylor got involved in hockey it seemed like the whole family did as well. He was good, but you would never neglect to mention the role your parents had in him getting to where he was. Beginning with the fact that every winter your dad would maintain a rink in the backyard of your childhood home in Calgary for Taylor to practice on. And practice he did, on the rink almost any chance he got. It was in the backyard where you learned to skate as a seven year old. On the few occasions that Taylor, then thirteen, would take the time out of his practice to coax you around the homemade rink, picking you up every time you fell. 

You were only thirteen when Taylor was the first pick in the NHL Entry Draft by the Edmonton Oilers. But your family didn’t become less involved in hockey. Things were just quieter after that. With a six year age difference between yourself and Taylor he had always been overly protective and the distance didn’t change that in the slightest. 

You made frequent trips to Edmonton and he would come back to Calgary when he had a couple days off. You stayed just as close as you both got older, perhaps you had even gotten closer. And when he went to New Jersey and then eventually to Arizona you still talked just as much, just over text and calls and facetime. 

He had come back over the summer but now it was late in August and he had gone back to Arizona to really focus on his training for the upcoming season. 

Sitting in your friend’s house you look at the Tinder profile on your screen, Matthew. From the first picture you knew more about him than his profile would provide. Matthew Tkachuk. Right wing for the Calgary Flames. Calgary Flames. Despite the fact that you were born in Calgary after Taylor was drafted by the Oilers you developed a strong distaste for the team from the city you otherwise adored. Not even to mention the reputation Matthew carried with him. But the longer you sat there staring at the profile and flipping through the pictures the more you found yourself intrigued by him. And so eventually you swipe right, your screen flashing to the match screen. Quickly tapping the side button on your phone you let the screen go dark, leaving the situation alone for the time being as you focus on the TV show you were watching with your friend instead. 

It was only three days later when you met Matt at a restaurant downtown. The date lasted hours, ending with you two walking around the dark downtown streets just talking. You hated to admit it but the date you had assumed would be terrible was quite the opposite. Matt was charming and funny, he held the door open for you and paid for dinner. He asked you questions about your childhood while you skillfully avoided any talk about your older brother. He told you about playing in the NHL and you nodded along like the inside information was all brand new to you. 

When you finally ended up back at your car you stood by the driver’s side door, looking up at Matt with a soft gaze, hoping he would kiss you. The reality of the situation was that you assumed the date would have been over much earlier and ended in his apartment. But now you were just hoping he would kiss you goodnight and ask you to do it again. And you knew it was bad news. Because the stories Taylor told you as you got older got gradually wilder and always ended with the same message ‘don’t even think about going out with a hockey player’. Especially not one like Matt. 

But your stomach still erupted with butterflies when Matt kissed you that night. It was in the way he placed one of his hands on the back of your head and the way he pulled back slowly, gazing down at you with a smile before dropping his hands from you and stepping back. And it was him asking you to text him when you got home safe, watching you till you were safely in your car before heading down the street to where his own car was parked. 

And text him you did. That night and the day after and the next day too. You exchanged so many texts over the next couple days and each notification from him made you happy in a way you couldn’t explain. No Tinder date you had been on before had ever ended like this and you definitely hadn’t expected to have the best Tinder experience of your like with hockey player Matthew Tkachuk. 

Your second date was mini-golf and ice cream. You picked a flavour you hated and Matt traded you his even though you were pretty sure he didn’t like the one you picked either. Your third date was to the zoo. You tried to contain your excitement but only made it to the penguin excitement before exclaiming how cute they were, while Matt spent most of the time watching you instead of the animals. Your fourth was drinks and arcade games at the Rec Room. You had a couple too many drinks and even though you were trying to beat Matt in a game or two you could barely stop giggling long enough to focus properly. Your fifth was a walk in the park, late fall leaving the leaves a beautiful colour. And you held hands in public for more than a couple seconds, through your entire walk. After that day you started to intersperse your dates with just hanging out, almost always at Matt’s apartment. 

You two had been seeing each other for two months when Matt finally brought up what you had been dreading. Hall was a common enough last night that Matt had never asked about it. You were sitting on Matt’s couch, your legs curled up beside you as you lean against him, eyes focused on the movie playing. 

“Will you come to one of my games?” 

Slowly you turn your head to look up at him, forcing a small smile. You knew you needed to tell him. You were pretty sure he wouldn’t care, but as soon as you told him it was real and that meant you would have to tell your parents and Taylor. Telling him was pushing a snowball down the hill, the avalanche at the bottom would come from everyone else you had to tell.

“Matt,” you say, sitting up straighter so you could look him in the eyes. 

“Yeah?” He furrowed his eyebrows, eyes glancing down your body, taking in the way you had pulled back from him. “Do you not want to? You don’t have to.”

“No,” you laugh, shaking your head. “It’s not that.” Taking a deep breath you try to figure out exactly which words to string together to bring this up. “You, uh, you know Taylor Hall, right?”

Matt’s confusion only becomes more evident as his eyes squint slightly, nodding slowly. “Yeah...why?” there’s an edge in his voice now, uncertain and already on the defence. 

“He’s uh...my brother.” 

You watch Matt go through what seems like ten different stages of processing before he finally says anything and all he manages to mutter is, “what?”

“My brother,” you repeat, knowing he didn’t really need you to say it again, just needed more time to process. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that? Were you planning on telling me...ever?” 

“Ever?” you repeat, pulling back further to turn your body towards him. “Matt, it’s only been a couple months. I though...when this started I thought it would just be a sexual thing. I didn’t expect this, I was assuming you were on Tinder just to hook up.”

Matt glances away from you for a second. “Well I kinda was,” he admits, looking back at you. “But then, I don’t know, I liked you more than I thought I would.” 

“So I didn’t think it would matter.”

“It doesn’t,” Matt says, reaching over and taking your hand, gently pulling you closer. “Doesn’t change anything, I just don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me.”

“Because if things keep going like this I’ll have to tell my family,” you whisper as he pulls one of your legs over his lap so you were face to face. 

“And?” Matt asks, hands on your waist. 

“And they won’t be happy. Taylor is...protective. He’s made it very clear that getting involved with a hockey player is bad news.” 

Matt’s lips curl into a smirk as he looks up at you, listening to your explanation. “Am I bad news?” 

Rolling your eyes playfully you press your hands onto his shoulders, about to push yourself off him. “Matt,” you whine, knowing he knew that’s not what you were saying. 

Suddenly Matt pushes himself forward, one arm around your back as he lifts you up and drops you down onto the couch on your back. “Well am I?” he asks, hovering over you. 

Giggling you run your hands around to the back of his neck. “Yes, you’re awful.” 

Matt chuckles, leaning down and kissing you. “Guess you like bad news,” he whispers against your lips. 

“I’m a sucker for punishment.”

Telling your parents about your relationship with Matt went surprisingly well. After some trepidation about the whole thing they finally came around after having him over dinner, seeing how happy you were around him. Four months, it had been four months. And everytime your parents broached the idea of telling your brother about your relationship you shut it down as quickly as they brought it up. The time would come, you just weren’t sure when.

“It’s disgusting,” Matt complains about the piece of gum he asked for after you took one for yourself. Bubblemint. “Who even came up with it?”

Giggling you shake your head, glancing back over your shoulder at him as you walk up to the door of your parent’s house. “It’s good, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Something is wrong with your tastebuds,” he laughs, stepping inside after you. Your parents had invited you and Matt over for dinner, an almost weekly occurrence at this point.

Just as you're about to call out and tell your parents you were there you see Taylor come down the hallway, the wide smile on his face fading almost immediately. A surprise visit. They didn’t happen often, not with Taylor being down in Arizona now. But whenever he had even a couple days off he would spend most of the time travelling up to see you. 

“Hi,” you say, feeling every nerve in your body firing at once. “You’re home.” 

“What’s going on?” Taylor questions, his eyes drifting over your shoulder to where Matt was standing. 

Taking a deep breath you look over, watching as Matt steps around from behind you to stand at your side. “I didn’t mean for you to find out like this,” you mutter. 

“Find out what?” Taylor snaps.

“I-,” you begin, turning your head to look up at Matt, eyes wide with panic. “I, we’re...I’ve been seeing Matt.”

“Seeing?” Taylor questions, eyes squinting, jaw clenching. 

You feel Matt slip his arm around your waist and you immediately tense up, knowing that it wasn’t going to end well. “We’re dating,” Matt tells him bluntly.

Taylor watches Matt for a second in disbelief before stepping forward, his hand grasping at Matt’s arm yanking him away from you. “Don’t touch her.” 

Matt chuckles with a cold tone, shaking his head. “Too late for that.”

“Matt,” you scold a second before Taylor reaches forward, shoving Matt back against the wall. 

“Don’t you dare talk about my sister like that.”

Reaching over you grab Taylors arm, pulling him back away from Matt. He does so easier than you were anticipating, looking down at you with a look of such disapproval you wanted to simply vanish from his sightline. “Matt, go home,” you say quietly, not able to look him in the eyes. Not able to own up to the face that you couldn’t stand up for yourself, for your relationship. 

“Y/N,” Matt pleads, trying to get your full attention. He was just as aware as you were that asking him to leave in this moment had meaning. 

“Go home, Matthew,” you repeat, using his full name to let him know you weren’t about to argue about it. 

You wait till he walks out the front door before you turn your attention to Taylor. But you don’t know what to say, where to begin. 

“What the fuck?” Is all Taylor says before there are tears in your eyes. 

Not only had Taylor always been a protective older brother he was also the favourite child. Nobody would say it, but you knew it. He was a star in the highest league of his sport, he made incredible amounts of money, he had this whole perfect life. And so you had grown up striving to live up to that, to his standards. To make him and your parents proud of you. But now, standing there under the harsh gaze of your older brother you feel yourself crumbling. 

“Taylor, I-,” you begin, your voice breaking slightly. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Matthew Tkachuk. Are you serious, Y/N? All the times I told you to stay away from hockey players and then you go out and start dating...him?”

“I didn’t think, I don’t know, I didn’t think things would get serious.”

“Why did you even want anything with him?”

Shrugging you wrap your arms around your body protectively, blinking away your tears as you stare down at the ground. “I thought he was cute and then we went on a date and I just, I really like him, Taylor.”

“You say that now but in a month or two when you find out he’s been cheating on you then that’ll change.”

“He’s not,” you begin, trailing off as you shake your head. “He wouldn’t.”

Taylor scoffs and rolls his eyes, arms crossed over his chest. “You don’t know, Y/N. You don’t know the way guys act on roadtrips. Just because he treats you well when he’s with you doesn’t mean that continues when you’re not together.”

“I...I don’t know what to say, Taylor. I like him, a lot.”

“You don’t love him,” Taylor states but it’s a question and you know it. He needs to hear you confirm it. 

“No,” you whisper, shaking your head. “It’s only been four months.”

“Good,” Taylor mutters. 

“Why?” you mutter, voice wavering. 

“Because it’ll be easier to break up with him if you don’t love him,” Taylor explains easily. 

Furrowing your eyebrows you shake your head. “You don’t get to decide if I break up with someone.”

“No, I don’t,” Taylor replies, stepping away from you. “But I can tell you what you should do. And you should break up with him.” He turns around after that, walking back towards the kitchen and leaving you standing alone in the hallway. Should. All your life you had been doing what you thought your parents and Taylor would approve of, what you thought they would say you should do. But you had never hated the idea of what Taylor would say you should do quite the way you hated this. 

After a few minutes of thinking you walk through the house, finding your parents in the midst of a hushed discussion with Taylor, falling silent the second you enter the room. 

“Hi,” you mutter, walking slowly to the kitchen island, placing your hands on the edge of it as you stare over at your family. 

“Hi sweetheart,” your mom replies, voice gentle and tentative. “I sent you a text earlier, I guess you didn’t get it.”

Pulling your phone from your pocket you look at the notification she was talking about. A warning that Taylor was there, suggesting Matt didn’t come with you right away. To just tell Taylor alone, give him some time to process it. But of course it had only come five minutes before you walked through the door, not having taken the time to read it. “No, I didn’t,” you tell her, putting your phone back away and turning to face Taylor. You’re suddenly hit with a wave of emotions, feeling like you just might burst into tears. Every other time Taylor had come home you had been greeted with a huge hug, with smiles and laughter. You felt like you were going to break under the stare he was giving you now. “I’m sorry,” you whisper to him. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Taylor tells you, his gaze softening as he realizes you were on the verge of crying, knowing you well enough to be able to read you. 

“Any guy could hurt me, Taylor. Am I just never supposed to date anyone?”

Out of the corner of your eye you catch sight of your mom grasping your dad’s forearm, gently pulling him out of the kitchen. Giving you and Taylor space to have the conversation alone. 

“He’s not just any guy. He’s plays in the NHL, he’s young, he’s rich, he’s famous. He has so many women interested in him because of that. It’s just different.”

“Would you?” 

“Would I what?” Taylor asks, eyebrows furrowed as he shakes his head in confusion. 

“Cheat on your girlfriend because of all that,” you clarify, stating it unflinchingly, challenging him. 

“No.” Taylor sighs, tapping his fingers against the countertop he was leaning on. “But it’s different.”

“It’s not,” you snap. “It’s not different. It’s not different just because you’re being overly protective. You don’t get to decide what Matt would do. You don’t even know him, you haven’t even given him a chance.”

“I do know him,” Taylor retorts quickly. 

“No, you know of him. You know him on the ice, you know how he plays hockey. You don’t know him as a person, as my...boyfriend.” It was the first time you were officially using that label. Boyfriend. Even though it had been almost four months and the understanding was there that he was your boyfriend and you were his girlfriend you had never found yourself saying it out loud. 

Taylor shakes his head, stepping away from the counter. “I clearly can’t change your mind so I’m going to let this go for now so we can have dinner as a family but just know that doesn’t mean I approve of it.”

Turning your head you watch as Taylor walks out of the kitchen to find your parents. And for a few minutes you just stand there, speechless, motionless, like you couldn’t comprehend anything that had just happened. But when your parents come back into the room you try to push it all away. Because Taylor was right, he was back for a short amount of time and even though things weren’t great with you two you needed to let your parents have their time to be just that, parents. 

The dinner passes by slowly and you try to stay engaged in the conversation. But it doesn’t take much for your mind to be pulled to other thoughts. To thoughts of Matt. At first simply worried about him being upset. But your worry begins to merge with Taylor’s words and suddenly you’re concerned about so much more. Other people. Would Matt cheat on you? Would he have left tonight, upset at you and called someone else? Someone who wouldn’t tell him to go home. 

After dinner your parents move on to dessert before then convincing you to stay for a little longer to visit. And by the time you manage to get yourself out of there it’s almost 11 and you had yet to hear from Matt. You texted him at 10:30, getting nothing more than a ‘delivered’ to signify it had even gotten to him. 

After the night is over you walk outside, getting in the Uber you had ordered. Matt had driven you both there, anticipating you would end up back at your apartment or his. It didn’t matter where but you two were supposed to be together all night. 

When the Uber pulls up in front of your apartment you climb out, feeling an emptiness in your chest. You had never felt such disappointment from your brother. You had never pushed someone away so coldly like you had with Matt. Walking up to the lobby door you open your purse, fumbling for your keys at the bottom. 

“Y/N.”

Spinning around quickly you watch Matt jog up towards you, only now noticing his car parked in one of the visitor spots. “What are you doing?” you exclaim, your eyes taking in his appearance. Ruffled hair, heavy eyes. “Why didn’t you answer my text?”

“Sorry, I fell asleep,” he admits. “I didn’t think you would be there that long.”

“You were sleeping in your car?” you ask in disbelief. 

“Well I wasn’t planning to. But you try spending five hours in your parked car with nothing else to do.”

“Why?...Why didn’t you go home? Oh my god, have you just been here this whole time? Matt, what the fuck? You’re such an idiot.”

“Well I did go and have dinner a couple hours ago,” he mutters sheepishly. “I was just worried...I don’t know, I just needed to talk to you, to see you.”

“You were worried...worried about what?”

Matt looks around, not making eye contact with you. He seemed suddenly flustered, panicky. Stepping closer you reach over, sliding your hand into one of Matt’s. “What were you worried about?” you whisper. 

Matt finally looks down at you, squeezing your hand as he pulls you a little closer. “Losing you,” he says quietly, reaching over and pushing a piece of your hair behind your ear, his hand slowly dropping back down to his side. 

You’re speechless for a few minutes, doing nothing more than staring blankly up at him. Taylor’s words suddenly didn’t seem as loud, didn’t carry as much weight. Because the way Matt was looking at you, the vulnerability in his words, you felt like you could trust him completely. “You won’t,” you finally manage to get out, letting go of his hand and wrapping your arms around him. 

Matt’s arms circle quickly around your waist, pulling you into his body till you're balancing on your tiptoes, clutching at him like you were trying to physically prove he wouldn’t lose you. “Can we go inside now? It’s cold out here,” you whisper. 

Matt moves his hands from your waist to the backs of your thighs, suddenly scooping you off the ground. “Matt,” you shriek in surprise, grasping onto him tighter as you wrap your legs around his waist. “Put me down,” you giggle, looking into his eyes. 

“Fine,” Matt huffs, slowly lowering you back to the ground. “But only because we’re going to pick it right back up when we’re inside.”

Shaking your head you roll your eyes playfully, fishing your keys out of your purse. Grabbing Matt’s hand you pull him along behind you into your apartment building, glancing back in time to see him smiling as he watched you. And seeing the way he was looking at you, so enthralled by you, only cemented your knowledge that maybe for the first time Taylor wasn’t the older sibling with all the knowledge.

A/N #2: I’m not going to ignore the fact that waiting for someone outside their apartment could be a huge red flag. If that ever happens to you and they don’t leave after you tell them to. Call. The. Police.

[impalas-r-important]

Love of my Life - (2) New Guy

Summary: Bobby brings home an injured hunter. Dean's not so fond of him.

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Word Count: 3429

Series Masterlist

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“Hello?” You could hear Sam answer his phone from the living room. You were in the kitchen cleaning up. You, Sam and Bobby had a deal that whoever didn’t cook meals had to clean up after. Sam had made the both of you grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for a warm lunch on a chilly January afternoon. “Oh, hey Bobby, how did your hunt go?” A few seconds passed and then you heard Sam mutter, “Yeah, sure. We’ll be ready when you get here. How far away are you?” He walked into the kitchen, still on the phone, with a concerned look on his face. You gave him the what’s going on look and he held up his finger and said his goodbyes to Bobby.

“What happened, is Bobby okay?” You pressed.

“Yeah, he’s fine. He said that he met another hunter who was working the case, so they teamed up. I guess the new guy saved Bobby’s bacon and got pretty beat up. Bobby’s bringing him back here to get him all healed up. He said it was the least he could do. He asked if we could get the spare room cleaned out and ready.”

After days of researching for Bobby’s case, you had discovered it was yet another Greek god with another vendetta or unfinished business or whatever. Blah, blah, blah. It was getting repetitive at this point, but gods were always tricky to deal with. You were just glad to hear Bobby was okay and that someone was there to help him out.

“What happened? Do we know if he’s badly hurt?” You wondered.

“All Bobby said was that he doctored him up as much as he could. They aren’t far from here now.”

“Okay, I’ll go get the room ready.” You wiped your hands off on a dish towel and headed upstairs. You stripped the sheets off the bed and threw them in the washer, putting a set of new ones on. The room hadn’t been used in a long time. You and Sam were crashing there in 2 of the other spare bedrooms, but this one was pretty dusty from sitting idle all this time. After clearing out boxes of old books from the closet, you grabbed a duster and went over everything.

“They’re here!” Sam yelled from downstairs. “I’m gonna go help him inside.”

You ungracefully shoved your cleaning stuff into a bucket, then quickly sprayed a little air freshener to try and mask the smell you could only describe as “old”. You could hear voices coming closer down the hall. You grabbed your supplies and walked them to the bathroom to put them away. Their conversation was easily heard through the thin walls.

“Alright, here’s where you can crash.” Sam said as he helped the new guy into the room and sat him down on a chair in the corner. “You really took a beating, huh?” Sam gave him a sympathetic smile. “I don’t think I caught your name, by the way.”

“I’m Nick.” He reached his hand out to shake Sam’s but didn’t make it all the way before he winced and grabbed his ribs.

“Well Nick, thanks for saving Bobby back there. He said he wouldn’t have made it out of that one if it weren’t for you. I’m Sam.”

“Sam, like as in Sam Winchester?” Nick raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you’ve heard of me?”

“Buddy, I wasn’t born yesterday. Every hunter who knows what they’re doing has heard of you and your brother.” You heard Nick say as you walked into the room and leaned against the door frame. He turned to look at you and straightened his posture in the chair as much as he could. He gave you a little half smile and blinked a few times as he managed to say, “Wow, uh, hey, hi…”

His stammering made you laugh a little. “I overheard you boys talking. You’re Nick, right?” He nodded. “Well, anyone who saves Bobby Singer is a friend of ours. I’m Y/N.”

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Nick winked and gave you a cheeky grin which quickly turned into a grimace. He was definitely in pain. He was covered in mud stains and blood. His ankle was bent the wrong way and he had bloodied bandages wrapped around his bicep and thigh. But through all that, you couldn’t help but notice that he was surprisingly handsome. He had sandy blonde hair and striking blue eyes. Most of the hunters you met looked like truckers or smelled like dumpsters.

“Don’t even try man, she could kick your ass 3 different ways before you knew what hit you.” Sam joked. “I’m going to let Y/N take it from here. She’s better at the doctor thing than I am. I’ll go grab your bags and bring them up.”

“Why don’t we see what we can do about some of that bleeding.” You grabbed the first aid kit from on top of the dresser and walked over to him. “Can I?” You motioned to the bandage on his arm, and he nodded. You peeled away the layers to find a nasty looking gash. “Geez…” You whispered. “So, I can stitch you up, but it’s going to hurt pretty bad.”

“I’m no wussy. Do what you gotta do.” Nick looked up at you and for half a second you caught yourself studying his ocean eyes, but you looked away quickly and grabbed the sanitizing alcohol. “This will probably hurt the most. Sorry.” You dumped some on his wound and he clenched in pain and closed his eyes, letting a big exhale escape through his nose. You threaded your needle and began to stitch his cut closed. You had done this many times before and with Sam and Dean and liked to think you were decent. But you knew the key was distraction.

“So, where are you from?” You asked.

“Not really from anywhere. I grew up like a lot of hunters did. On the road with my dad and uncle, learning tricks of the trade as we went. What about you?”

“Well, I was born in Arizona, but my family was killed when I was six. I spent my life bouncing between hunters until I could drive. Then I went out on my own.”

“I’m sorry about your family.” His sympathy caught you off guard. Most hunters couldn’t care less about others.

“Thank you, but we all have our sob story. No one chooses to be a hunter just for kicks and giggles”

“Man, I’ve heard some crazy stories about those Winchester brothers.” Nick gave a small laugh. “It’s weird to actually meet one of them in person. What happened to Dean? I thought he and Sam were inseparable.”

You sighed and your heart dropped like it always did when his name was mentioned. “He actually got out of the hunting life. He lives close to here, stops by to check on us every once in a while.”

“I’d love to meet him. All I’ve heard is how badass he is. Like the ultimate hunting machine.”

“Well, you call him badass, I call him dumbass.”

“Hah! You guys close?”

“Not as close as we used to be. Sam and I try to keep him out of the hunting life as much as we can. He helps with research every now and then but hasn’t been out on a case in a while.” You finished your last stitch. “Your arm is all done but looks like we need to take care of this one as well.” You pointed down to his leg. “Do you care if I just cut your pant leg off? This pair looks like a goner anyway.”

“You can take my pants off anytime you want.” Nick smirked at you.

“I’m going to chalk that up to the loss of blood and pretend you didn’t say that. Keep in mind, I’m the one with the needle here.” You held up the long needle as you threaded it with a clean suture and gave him your best don’t go there face.

Nick reminded you a strange amount of the Dean of old. Handsome, but in a different way, snarky, and seemed like the kind of guy who flirted with any and every girl he could find. You couldn’t lie to yourself and say you didn’t like the attention he was giving you. Part of you still wished it were Dean giving you that attention though.

You finished up and started to pick up the bloody bandages off the floor. “I’m going to go get Sam and he can help you get into the shower. I think we need to take you to the doctor for your ankle though. Looks broken to me.”

“Damn, I was hoping to avoid the hospital. I don’t suppose you know how to set a broken ankle?” He looked at you hopefully.

“You’re outta luck, sorry.” You shrugged and began to head out the door.

“Y/N?” Nick stopped you before you left, and you turned to face him. “Thank you.” You shot him a smile and a nod before heading downstairs to find Sam.

After Sam had helped Nick wash all the blood off of himself, you two had taken him to the hospital where they set his ankle and gave him some pain killers for the broken ribs. Sam had gotten him upstairs and into bed and you brought some food up for him.

“Here you go, a Singer specialty.” You placed a tray with Bobby’s chili on his lap and handed him the remote to the ancient box tv.

“What makes it so special?” Nick asked, stirring the chili skeptically.

“If you ask Bobby, he’ll say it’s a secret family recipe, but I’ve been around long enough to know that the real magic happens when he dumps it from the can into the pot.” Nick laughs as you get his food situated so it won’t spill. “I brought you in some movies if you want to watch them. Mostly Dean’s old western tapes. We’re in short supply of variety.”

“Thank you. But I do have to say, I feel a little uncomfortable having you guys help me this much. I’m usually a strictly independent person…”

“We all need a little help sometimes.” You were actually glad that Nick was here. It gave you something to keep your mind off of Dean. “I’m in the room next to yours, just bang on the wall if you need anything.”

“Goodnight, Y/N. I owe you one.” He flashed his tired smile at you, and you returned the gesture.

“Night, Nick.”

You woke the next morning to find Sam’s car gone. You figured he was at the gym or swung by Dean’s house for something. You headed into the kitchen and started on making breakfast. The cupboards were pretty empty, but you knew there was always pancake mix around somewhere. You whipped up a few cakes with a side of scrambled eggs. When you were done, you headed up to Nick’s room to see how he was doing. You knocked softly, careful not to wake him if he was still sleeping. A few seconds passed with no response, so you cracked the door open and saw him dead asleep with the half-eaten bowl of chili still on his lap and the tv crackling with black and white static. This made you chuckle a little. You tiptoed over to him and gently lifted the tray off his lap to take with you downstairs and turned off the television.

The rest of the morning was spent looking for cases in the papers and online, but you didn’t have much luck. You gave up after a while when you heard a boot clomping down the stairs, letting you know that Nick was on his way.

“Morning, sunshine!” Nick pronounced and winked at you as he walked in the room.

“It’s 2 in the afternoon, lazy bones.” He laughed a little and sat down in the chair across from you. “How are you feeling?”

“Better than I was yesterday, that’s for sure.”

“I bet you’re hungry.”

“Starved, actually.” He placed a hand on his stomach.

“Do you feel up for going out and grabbing a bite? We’re short on supplies here, but I know a great little diner just a few miles into town. Mel’s.”

“That sounds amazing! I could really go for a great big cheeseburger right now.” Look at that, yet another similarity to Dean. You could swear this was the universe playing a cruel joke on you.

“Sam’s not here and Bobby’s holed up in his room, so it’s just you and me. Hope that’s ok.”

“More than fine with me.” He flirted. “Our first date!”

“Whatever. Come on, gimpy.” You helped him up out of the chair and led him out the door and towards your car.

You had actually really enjoyed your late lunch with Nick. It was nice to get to know someone new and you were surprised at how well the two of you got along. You usually butted heads with other hunters, but Nick was pretty easy going and had a good sense of humor.

A little while later, you pulled back into the driveway of Bobby’s house to see both Sam and Dean’s cars in the driveway.

“Wow, that’s a beauty of a car.” Nick remarked as the two of you walked past the Impala.

“Don’t touch it. That’s Dean’s baby. He’ll kill you if you scratch it.” You warned as you walked into the house.

Dean quickly rushed at you as soon as you opened the door and pulled you into a bear hug. “Y/N where the hell have you been?! I’ve been calling you over and over! No one knew where you were! Don’t scare me like that!”

“What? We were just in town. We haven’t even been gone 2 hours…” You pulled out your phone to check for his missed calls but found it to be dead.

“We?” Dean interrogated. Nick walked in a few steps behind you and Dean glared at him. “Who the hell are you?” He instinctively pulled you behind him.

"Whoa, whoa easy there tiger." You put your hand on Dean's arm and he looked at you, with questioning eyes. "That's Nick. Didn’t Sam tell you? He saved Bobby's ass on their last hunt and got pretty beat up in the process. Bobby brought him back here to heal up a bit."

"And you're what, just hanging out with some hunter you barely know? He could be a psychopath! You know better than this!"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes and feel annoyed at Dean’s over-protectiveness. "He's got a broken ankle, bruised ribs, and massive gashes on his arm and leg. You really think I couldn't handle him if I needed to?"

Dean kept his eyes on Nick the whole time, looking him up and down, trying to get a read on him. Bobby slammed the door of his room and walked out to the commotion. "Would you idjits keep it down out here? I could hear every word of this stupid conversation!" Bobby looked to Dean who was clearly still in defense mode. "Oh, pull the stick out, Dean. The kid literally saved my life. He's harmless."

It took Nick a few seconds to process the situation. He walked over to Dean and reached his hand out. "It's an honor to meet you, Dean. I look up to you a lot. You’ve got some great people here; they’ve been nothing but nice to me and I’d never do anything to hurt them.”

Dean was clearly expecting him to say anything but that, and reluctantly shook his hand. You wished you had a camera to take a picture of look on Dean's face. Priceless.

"I hate to break up the fan fest, but what are you doing here, boy?" Bobby questioned Dean. "Not that I ain't happy to see you, but you haven't been around here much lately."

“I, uh, was going to see if Y/N wanted to hit up Mel’s. I’m starved.” Dean looked at you for an answer.

“Nick and I were actually just there…” You felt a bit guilty, but you didn’t know that Dean was even planning on coming over today. “I’m sure Sam would go with you. I haven’t seen him yet today, but it sounds like he’s up in his room.”

“Oh, okay.” Dean looked dejected but nodded and headed towards the staircase.

Dean kind of knocked on Sam’s door as he walked in.

“Uh, sure, come on in.” Sam gave Dean a glare as he folded clothes and organized them neatly on his bed.

“I knocked. You want to go grab some food, Sammy?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m almost done here.”

Dean walked further inside and over to the dresser to fiddle with some things sitting on top of it. “Why didn’t you tell me about the new guy?”

“I doubt he’s sticking around. I didn’t think there was anything to tell.” Sam shrugged.

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t let Y/N just hang around some stranger all day. We don’t know anything about him.”

“Dean, he seems like a teddy bear. We’ve been doing this for long enough to know when someone is a piece of crap. Nick seems genuine.” Sam let out a small laugh. “You know, he’s actually a lot like you. I think you’d really get along with him if you were still hunting.”

“Yeah whatever.” Dean grumbled as he played with a knife he had picked up.

“What crawled up your butt?” Sam shot him a sideways glace. Dean didn’t respond. “Oh, I see. You just don’t like him hanging around Y/N.”

Dean clenched his jaw. “Well, I’m so sorry if I just want to make sure she’s safe. I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to look out for her. Someone’s gotta do it if you aren’t.”

Sam scoffed. “Hey, I am looking out for her, Dean. But she doesn’t need me to. She is way more than capable of handling herself and honestly, it’s none of your business who she decides to spend her time with. She’s not your girl anymore.” Sam knew it was a touchy subject, but he didn’t care. He hated to see how much Y/N was hurting because of Dean.

Dean slammed the knife into the top of the dresser. He shook his head and turned to leave. “I’m outta here.” He walked down the hall but stopped at the top of the stairs as he watched you grab a soda from the fridge and a bottle of pain pills which you then took over to Nick. He hated the way that Nick looked at you. He hated that you sat down next to him and smiled your perfect smile at someone other than himself. Dean ran his hand along the railing and subconsciously made his way back to his brother’s room.

“Does she like him?” Dean asked in a broken voice as he leaned against the doorframe, looking at the ground.

“I don’t know.” Sam could easily see that his brother was genuinely hurting. “But I meant what I said, Dean. She’s not your girl anymore. You chose Lisa over her.”

Dean didn’t have words to describe the heartache he was feeling. “I didn’t… I… I don’t know…” Was all he managed to get out.

“Dean, Y/N is still like a sister to me even though you two aren’t together anymore. We’ve gotten a lot closer since we both died and came back, and honestly, I’m happy to see that a guy is making her smile. She was really heartbroken over you. She still is. So maybe it sucks for you to see her with a guy that’s not you, but now you know how she feels every time she sees you with Lisa.”

Dean slid down the wall until he was sitting on the ground, with his head hanging in his lap and his hands on the back of his neck. Sam sat down next to him.

“Dean, I’m not trying to be harsh on you.”

“I know. You’re right though.”

“Maybe it’s none of my business, but why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you move in with Lisa so soon after we died?”

Dean cleared his throat. “I don’t know Sam. I guess, she was there, and Y/N wasn’t. There’s just a lot to it and I don’t expect you to understand.” Dean got up, regained his composure and left swiftly. Making sure Y/N and Nick were out of sight before he left.

Chapter 3

[pigeontheoneandonly]

Lemongrass

So this was nominally supposed to be about a cooking lesson (loosely prompted by a post from @dr-ladybird), but it came out much more bittersweet and melancholy.

Thanks to @pushingsian for the beta!

NB: In my version of Mass Effect, Nathaly Shepard is vegetarian, and Kaidan Alenko's mother is Thai.

Lemongrass

The haunting quiet of a Canadian night along the Sunshine Coast still kept Shepard awake, even after two months.  She missed the endless creaking of the ship, the muffled voices coming through the hatches and decks, the hum of the drive core lulling her to sleep.  Everyone thought space was silent. She snorted and wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered on the porch, drawing a blanket close like a shawl.  This was silence, this… lonely wilderness.

Footsteps fell soft on the cabin’s wooden floor.  She glanced over her shoulder, and saw Kaidan padding barefoot to the door, still rubbing his eyes.  Her face broke into a smile despite herself, quiet, tired.  “Hey.”

 “It’s cold out here tonight.”  He rubbed his arms.  “Can’t sleep again?”

“You don’t need to get up,” she replied, sidestepping the question. 

He glanced out over the property, towards the coastline a half-acre away.  “It wasn’t this quiet when I bought it.”

This was where he’d sunk his L2 reparations, into this piece of earth, though the house came after the war.  His neighbors weren’t ever sitting in his lap, exactly, but a fair number either hadn’t survived or hadn’t returned.  But the lack of people wasn’t the problem.  “It’s a planet.  It’s never going to be—”

Shepard stopped herself just in time.  But her startled guilty glance, at the near slip, said it all anyway.  His shoulders sank.  “Come inside.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

He put his arm around her and gave her a tug.  “Come inside.”

The door swung shut.  The main room was cozy in a hand-made sort of way.  Kaidan’s mother had sent a seemingly endless stream of crocheted blankets, which now hung off every chair back and piled across the couch.  Shepard made the metal-framed furniture herself in their own backyard.  Kaidan spent his free hours scouring local extranet ads for books, and a coffee maker, lamps, cushions, anything anyone was selling or trading in the mostly cashless post-war economy.  Earth could barely manufacture essentials, much less everyday comforts.

Now he walked over to the small corner defining their kitchen and lit the stove.  She hiked one of those blankets higher on her shoulders.  “What are you doing?”

“You’ll sleep better with something warm in you.”

She joined him, putting her hand on his hip, leaning towards his ear.  “I can think of something warm you could put in me.”

That got her a quick snort of a laugh, as she hoped.  “That just wakes you up more.”

But his brown eyes sparkled in the dim light of the slumbering house. 

She heaved a sigh, but pushed a lock of red hair behind her ear, and switched gears.  “Need a hand?”

Flirtatious interest turned to surprise.  “You want to help me cook.”

“Come on.  I haven’t boiled a pot dry in weeks.”  A touch defensive, but hell, she had been trying.  It wasn’t her fault she never had reason or opportunity to learn to cook.  At this point, her molecular composition verged on 100% military-issue freeze pack meals and MREs.

“That’s true.”  He jerked his head at the cabinet.  “Find me the coconut milk, and the stock.”

Kaidan’s kitchen staples came as something of a surprise.  Beer and bacon she expected.  His mother’s influence, not so much.  Not that she knew a whole lot about Thai food to start with.  “Where do you get this stuff?”

“My mom is friendly with every southeast Asian family in Vancouver.”

“Sure.  But… citrus?”

“You’d be surprised how many people keep a tree in their condo.  I’m negotiating for one, but nobody wants to give it up.”

“It’s just as well.”  She pulled out a box.  “I’ve killed every houseplant I’ve ever had.”

“You’re doing all right with the herb garden.”  Kaidan said it with a straight face, despite them both knowing he did most of the work, especially after he caught her burying leftovers in the dirt to fertilize it.  Gently, he explained about compost, but it still seemed like a load of middle-man work to her.  He also explained about raccoons, which she had to admit had the weight of evidence behind it, in the holes and broken plants they left behind.  But Shepard had learned to water and prune, even fuss over the plants, here and there.  They seemed to enjoy the attention.

What was the other thing?  Stock.  Right.  She opened the fridge and pulled out a plastic jug, the remains of a giant batch Kaidan made last week from all their vegetable scraps.  It had been an experiment, but somehow, all of Kaidan’s kitchen experiments seemed to work out. 

“Put that in the pot,” he said, pointing. 

She complied, with one raised eyebrow.  “Don’t you think this burner is up a little high?”

“It needs to reduce.”  He gave the pot an expert swirl and set it back down.  “We still have mushrooms?”

“I think so.”  They’d stored up too much in the lower drawer.  She sorted through the items.  “What’re we making?”

“Soup.”  He declined to elaborate, and began to slice the mushrooms.  “We’ll also need lemongrass, cilantro, and some of those tiny peppers from outside.”

“You’ll send me out in this cold?” she griped, but she was already reaching for the scissors. 

He put down the knife.  “It’s summer, Nathaly. It’s almost ten degrees outside.  And the garden’s right beside the back door.”

“Anything south of twenty is fucking frigid.”  Pulling the blanket tighter, she headed out.

The moonlight gilded the leaves in silver as Shepard sorted through the huddled plants, trying not to drop the blanket.  Cilantro reminded her of home, the first home she ever had.  Her grandmother grew bales of it in window boxes.  Bending to cut some, she might have been six again, and smiled to herself in spite of the cold.  Or maybe because of it— the Arizona desert took on its own chill at night.

Lemongrass was more foreign.  Its pungency stabbed through the air as she cut it near the dirt, gathering several stalks.  A side of Kaidan she hadn’t known, like the cooking, until recently.  Sure he fixed a few meals in the apartment, back when the apartment was habitable.  Seeing him now, it was clear he’d grown up watching his mother, and absorbed everything she had to teach.  That added new depth to her understanding of the damage BAaT did to his family.  It was easy to sense, lurking there even today, in every interaction between mother and son, but harder to interpret.

When she was done, she returned to the kitchen, and found he’d added tofu, galangal (not ginger, she reminded herself, firmly), the aforementioned limes plus some kaffir lime leaves he’d obtained god-knew-how, and fish sauce to the waiting ingredients.  He smiled as he heard the door shut. 

“Here you are.”  She dumped her handful of fresh produce beside his pile. 

“These look great.  Take this.”  He handed her the spoon.

Shepard held it like a dead mouse.  “Wait a minute—”

He took the lemongrass to the sink.  “Nope. This time, you cook, and I help.  Don’t worry, I’ll walk you through it.”

Everything about this read imminent disaster.  Kaidan noticed her frown, and pushed her arm towards the pot.  “Add the coconut milk.”

It trickled in, aided by her tentative stirring.  She put the spoon down.  “Kaidan, look, cooking… My biggest accomplishment is getting a microwave burrito thawed the whole way through without drying it out.  I know you want to do this whole domestic thing—”

He picked it up and put it back in her hand.  “I have never known you to admit defeat on anything.  What’s going on?  Talk to me.”

She stared into the pot, expressionless face flickering in the burner’s flame. 

Kaidan tried another tact.  “You’re not sleeping.  You barely eat.”

“I…”  She let the spoon go, and slumped over the stove, tiredly.  “I didn’t expect winning to feel like this.”

His face softened.  “That’s because we didn’t win.  We just beat the reapers.”

She brushed some of the hair out of her eyes.  He rubbed her shoulders, left a kiss on her neck.  “Let’s just make soup, ok?  Lemongrass is next.  Smash it first.”

The damp stalks left small puddles on the board as she ran the knife through them, and then upended it and brought the butt of the handle down on each piece, thump thump.  Then the same to the peppers.  The motion was almost comforting; Kaidan made this soup a lot.

Kaidan slid sliced galangal into the pot.  “Your turn.”

Picking up the lemongrass with the blade, Shepard watched it disappear into the white broth, only to bob back up again, filmed with coconut milk.  Already leeching all its intensity and leaving the herb softer, milder, spent; having sprouted and fought through the dirt to the sun, grown tall and proud, only to give up all it made to this.  Because she declared that this was its purpose and its end.

A fistful of bright leaves fluttered down over the lemongrass pieces.  Shepard started.  Kaidan’s brow furrowed, and he touched her arm.  “You sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah,” she said, distantly.  “I’m just tired.”

He watched her a few moments too long for comfort.  “Even the squirrels know that.”

It caught her off guard and she laughed, as he clearly hoped she would.  Just one chuckle.  But it helped. 

“Tofu and mushrooms next,” he prompted.  Shepard gathered them up and dumped them in.

She just about remembered to stir it every so often as they juiced limes and chopped cilantro.  To her endless gratitude, Kaidan took it back to finish it when it came off the burner; she never could get the amount of fish sauce just right.  Somehow, he’d gotten the rice cooker going while she messed with the soup, too.  She liked dumping it all into her bowl with the soup, a practice that never failed to earn her a look of mock-disappointment that was half the reason she kept doing it.

They settled on the couch.  For a few minutes, they ate in the quiet dark of the cabin, lined in moonlight, wrapped in blankets.  Shepard had spent all her life in motion.  Now she was trying to learn how to live with stillness.

The soup-soaked rice felt good in her mouth, something she could bite down on.  Something solid and warm in her stomach.  She hadn’t realized exactly how cold she’d gotten, or how hungry; each spoonful brought a little more color into the room. 

Kaidan sipped at his own bowl, smaller than hers, with a slight smile.  “Feel better?”

She looked down into her nearly-empty bowl, and back up at him.  “How did you know?”

“You skipped dinner.  And lunch.”  His tone just a little too light.  “This isn’t easy for me either, but regularly crashing your blood sugar isn’t helping.”

There was nothing to say to that.  “I don’t know what to do with myself up here.”

“Yeah.” He set his food aside and inched closer to her, settling his arm around her waist.  “You’ve got a stack of requests piling up.”

“Busy work,” she scoffed.

“There’s never going to be another reaper war, and that’s a good thing.”  He gave her a squeeze.  “You’ll just have to subsist without the adrenaline and cortisol, high blood pressure, constant small injuries, and all those other things.”

“Tomorrow.”  It was too complicated to unpack right now.  She set the empty bowl aside.

“Tomorrow,” Kaidan agreed, and pulled her to her feet.  “Now, let’s sleep.”

[holidaywishes]

i wanna marry you

part eight: i wanna marry you

  Summary: You and Freddie finally decide to get married a year after Vita is born

  Warning: a wedding, so lots of fluff. I think that’s it though... I guess a tiny bit of angst because I couldn’t help myself

  Author’s Note: So here’s what’s up! Since it had been a full year that I added another chapter to this story before I posted part seven, I’m adding a HUGE time jump so that we’re all in the same timeline -- and so I don’t get confused. I probably won’t have too many more chapters (maybe I’ll go to 13 because it’s 31 backwards? and my lucky number? who knows, I haven’t decided yet,) but I hope you enjoy these next few chapters. I was going to include the wedding in this chapter but I changed my mind but on the plus side, I at least know what the next chapter will be so hopefully the next chapter will be out relatively soon after this one. AND REMEMBER! my asks are always open but I will never promise when I will get to them but I love getting them no matter what! 😘

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  The world going into quarantine four months after your baby was born felt like both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because Freddie would actually get to bond with Vita and a curse because, well, neither of you would be able to get away from each other until it was over. But when Freddie told you that Auston had invited him to spend some of the quarantine with him in Arizona, you were back to feeling overwhelmed

  “You’re really just going to leave?” you snarled through the phone

  “It won’t be long. We’ll be back together before you know it”

  “Freddie, you have a newborn baby here”

  “I know”

  “And a fiancé”

  “I know”

  “You’re already on the plane aren’t you?”

  “No”

  “Why are you being so secretive right now?”

  “I’m almost home. Do you wanna just wait to talk?”

  “FREDDIE!” you yelled

  “Don’t wake Vita!” he yelled back

  “I swear to god Freddie...” you started to chastise him just as he walked through the door, ending the call so he could walk toward you, “you’re just here to grab some clothes and take off?”

  “It’s just for a little while.. to get away from the city”

  “Why do you need to get away from us?!” you whisper yelled, gesturing to where Vita was sleeping

  “Come with me...” he stated, “both of you”

  “What?”

  “Come to Arizona and we can all isolate in the sun”

  “Freddie.” you sighed before rubbing your temples, “aside from the fact that our daughter is barely four months old and has seen very little of the sun, Auston is an immature man child who I know for a fact isn’t going to follow any of the guidelines”

  “Maybe he will!” Freddie argued

  “He won’t!”

  “He will if you’re there...”

  “That’s a bullshit lie and you know it!”

  “(Y/N), baby, elske, do you trust me?” he asked, resting his hands softly on your arms and you cocked your eyebrow in response

  “I trust you. Not him. I don’t think it’s necessary for you to get out of the city for three months. Away from your daughter when you could be bonding with her”

  “We just need some clarity... and some sun”

  “I think you should be here”

  “Trust me, okay, quarantine won’t be that long and I’ll be back here before you know it; all up in your space so much you wish I was gone...” He was wrong, obviously, just like you knew he’d be the second he said it. He came back in late June, four months into the quarantine, but he didn’t have much downtime with you and Vita before he went right into training mode for the qualifiers. Your heart sunk when you couldn’t be there to cheer him on or bring your daughter to see her daddy on the ice but honestly, with how the rest of the season turned out, maybe it was better that she couldn’t fully comprehend anything yet. When he finally came back, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days and he crashed into you as though you were a life raft saving him from the treacherous waves of the NHL.

  “Hi baby” you whispered as he knelt down in front of you to rest his face in your chest and wrap his arms around your waist

  “Hi” he groaned

  “Wanna pick-me-up?” you asked, trying to get him to stand up

  “Whatcha got for me?” he said, smiling as he looked up at you

  “Your daughter would love to see you. She’s gotten so big”

  “Is she awake?” he asked, standing up happily with a goofy grin on his face

  “I don’t know,” you giggled, “why don’t we check?” He followed you to the living room, quietly, where you both saw Vita playing with coloured blocks and Freddie made his way to her.

  “Hello, little one!” he cooed as he sat gently in front of her, making you laugh at the enormous size difference between the two of them.

  “Vita’s been falling asleep to your voice notes every night” you told him

  “Yeah?” he asked her, handing her a block for her to play with and she looked at him as he spoke to you

  “Look,” you said, nodding at her, “she recognizes your voice”

  “Do you? Do you recognize my voice baby girl?” he cooed, before leaning in and poking her stomach, earning an adorable giggle from her

  “Your head is the size of her entire body...” you laughed

  “She’s perfect” he said, continuing to tickle Vita

  “We missed you so much” you whispered, finally sitting down next to them before Freddie picked Vita up, bringing the two of them close to you

  “I think I missed you more” he replied, kissing your temple and the top of Vita’s head

  “Don’t leave again, please, just..” you pleaded, “stay, okay?” He smiled as you leaned into him, watching as your daughter fit perfectly into his arms

  “Okay” he replied with a kiss to the crown of your head.

xx

Two months later

  “Trade rumours are beginning to swirl around Frederik Andersen of the Toronto Maple Leafs,” the voices on the T.V. blared through the house as Freddie watched from the living room, “The Calgary Flames and Carolina Hurricanes are both looking at the Danish Goaltender.” You turned the corner to find your fiancé in front of the T.V. with his head in his hands

  “Freddie,” you whispered while carrying your daughter on your hip, “baby, don’t watch this stuff...”

  “I haven’t heard anything from Kyle” he replied and you sat down next to him, bouncing Vita on your knee

  “Maybe that means that these rumours are just that. Rumours.”

  “Maybe,” he said quietly, “but it all sounds very.. real”

  “Okay? So, what if it is?” you said, trying to get him to look at everything differently

  “Well then I won’t play for Toronto anymore...” he returned and you shook your head

  “And...?”

  “And we’ll have wasted our money on this giant house...”

  “So...?”

  “So, I’ll have to spend my last years in the League in a city that isn’t... doesn’t feel like home”

  “Baby,” you whispered, moving closer to him to kiss his cheek, “whatever happens, if you get traded or not, you’ll have us. I will go anywhere with you”

  “I know, I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m just worried.”

  “Well, why don’t we take our minds off of it? Off the trade rumours. Off the Leafs. Off the NHL in general...”

  “Oh yeah?” he smirked, pulling you closer to him to sneak a kiss

  “Yeah,” you smiled before pulling away from him and handing over your daughter for him to hold while you made your way back to the kitchen, “but I wasn’t talking about that.”

  “Okay.. but you can think about it now” he smiled at you, his footsteps following closely behind you

  “I was talking about the wedding,” you admitted, “start sending out invites. Pick out décor and dresses and tuxes, locations...”

  “You want me to help you plan the wedding?” he asked and you laughed at his response

  “It’s our wedding. Of course, I want you to help. Give me your input, taste test the cakes..”

  “You know I’m just gonna go along with whatever you want”

  “Oh, I know,” you scoffed, “but that’s what makes it so fun.”

  “Alright. If you say so,” he smiled as Vita let out a playful squeal, “let’s start with the date. I have a feeling, everyone’s going to be pretty available this December. And you said you wanted a New Year’s Eve wedding...”

  “I did. In a perfect world...”

  “Well, here’s your perfect world. New Year’s Eve, 2020.”

  “New Year’s Eve, 2020?”

  “New year’s Eve, 2020.”

  “You sure?”

  “Of course”

  “Alright. New Year’s Eve, 2020, it is!”

  “We’ve got the when, how about the where? Here? Denmark? Vienna? New York?”

  “I love New York... I think most people can get there easily. Easier than Denmark or Vienna”

  “New York it is. Let’s look online for availability...”

  “Can we look at the Kings Theatre?” you asked and he seemed to be shocked at your request

  “You’ve already put some thought into it, huh?”

  “I love Theatre and could you imagine the opulence of it all? It’s been newly renovated and on New Year’s Eve? Everyone will be willing to go full black-tie!”

  “Alright... let’s give it a shot” he smiled, standing up and swaying Vita side to side as he cooed at her and made his way to his laptop, “mommy and daddy are getting married, little Vita.”

  “Oh my gosh, how cute will she look as our flower girl?!” you cooed to both of them, rubbing your thumb on the soft skin of your daughter’s hand. Freddie laughed before kissing the top of Vita’s head and turned to you

  “I love you so much,” he smiled, “both of you.”

  “We love you too, daddy” you giggled

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V.

  It didn’t surprise you that (Y/N) had thought of nearly every detail of the wedding, including the location, but hadn’t told you. When the two of you looked up dates at the Kings Theatre in New York, she was convinced there was no way they’d even have an opening or that they’d even let you in with a big group of people because of the pandemic but you decided to call them

  “They’re available on New Year’s Eve” you told her and her eyes went wide as she mouthed ‘are you serious?’ and you nodded with a smile, “you want to book it?”

  “Capacity?” she whispered, referring to how many people you were allowed to invite, once you got the answers to all your questions, (Y/N) told you to book it and you set off to make everything go as smoothly for her as possible but as soon as you hung up with the Theatre, you noticed her face go pale

  “What’s wrong, babe?”

  “I don’t know if I can get a dress in time...” she said, her eyes keeping straight, almost refusing to look at you

  “Of course you can!”

  “No, no, no..” she said, walking toward the bedroom, “you don’t understand. Finding the dress is one thing. But then it has to be ordered in my size and any alterations have to be done. We have two months until our wedding. And to send out R.S.V.P’s? Everyone is going to hate us”

  “They’ll be fine. It’s not like anything is really happening..”

  “How am I supposed to shop for a dress when we’re confined to our home?” she snarled

  “Get someone to come here?” you suggested, “make a custom dress?”

  “Oh like that’s gonna be any better” she scoffed

  “It could be!” you laughed, “think about it. You get someone over here today, they take your measurements and talk with you about how you want the dress to look. Tell them to start on it right away and we send out the invites tomorrow...”

  “It’s not that simple, Freddie..”

  “Why not?“

  “A custom dress with a rush on it is going to cost as much as this house. Probably more..”

  “I don’t care,” you smiled, “I want to marry you on New Year’s Eve. I want to give you everything you want. If that means a custom made dress that sets me back 100 grand, then so be it. I love you, elske”

  “I’m going to be so stressed”

  “I’ll help you”

  “Who’s gonna be in our bridal party?”

  “Mitch, Stephanie, Zack, Alannah, Morgan, Tessa, Seb, Amalie, Lauren, and.. COGS!”

  “Okay.. fine,” she scrunched her eyebrows and shook her head at your quick response, “what about the ring bearer and flower girl? Vita can’t do it, unless someone carries her down the aisle...”

  “Valdimar, I’m sure, would make an excellent Flower Girl,” you laughed and she scoffed, rolling her eyes at you, “what about Oma?”

  “What about Oma?”

  “What if she walked Vita down the aisle, then they could both be our flower girls?”

  “And your brother?”

  “Ring Bearer”

  “You don’t want him in the Bridal party? The grooms party?” she hesitated, going back and forth between the right phrasing, “you don’t want him to be a Groomsman?”

  “I think 12 people up there is more than enough don’t you?”

  “Yeah..” she bit her lip, “it’s actually a lot...”

  “Who do you want to cut?” you smirked

  “I don’t want to cut anyone. Who’s your best man?”

  “Mitch” you said quickly to both yours and (Y/N)’s surprise

  “So, Steph stays.”

  “Easy. Who’s your Maid of Honour?”

  “It’s gotta be my sister. She’d be pissed if it were anyone else”

  “Fair, we’ll pair her with Andrew? So that leaves Zach and Alannah, Seb and Amalie, and Mo and Tessa”

  “I love them all”

  “But...” You pushed

  “I don’t know Tessa that well...”

  “Then there you go. Take out Mo and Tessa”

  “But I thought you wanted Mo to be up there with you..”

  “I do..” you said, “okay how about this. We keep Mo but put him with Alannah and take Tessa and Zach out?”

  “Yeah.. okay. Yeah, I guess that works.” After those few decisions were made, everything seemed to fall into place. Invitations were sent out with an urgent R.S.V.P included and, as you expected, friends and family were quick to get back to you.

  “New Year’s Eve huh?” Willy said over the phone, “that’s pretty fast. You sure you’re ready?”

  “Yes, Willy” you replied, rolling your eyes before hanging up the phone

  “Am I your best man?” Auston asked

  “Sorry, not this time” you laughed

  “Who then? You stayed with me for four months!” he was starting to get angry so you tried to calm him down

  “I know. But I already promised Mitch...” you lied, hoping Auston wouldn’t catch it

  “Fine. Whatever.” he scoffed and hung up the phone, leading you to smirk to yourself as you prepared yourself for more calls while (Y/N) and her sister went out to look at decor options. Before long, everything was sorted -- (Y/N) and her bridal party had their dresses picked out and sent for alterations, your groomsmen had their tuxes fitted as did you and everyone had sent back their R.S.V.P’s -- and all that was left was to decorate the venue and do a run through of the day.

  “This place is amazing” (Y/N) cooed with Vita situated on her hip who was looking around in just as much awe as her mother

  “It’s perfect” you replied as you followed your soon-to-be wife through the Theatre

  “We’re getting married in two weeks!” she exclaimed, letting her mouth gape to let out a silent scream and you smiled at her before turning to the wedding planner

  “We really appreciate you letting us do a run through now. I’m not sure what the typical protocol is, but since everything happened so fast, we had to focus on (Y/N)’s dress and the bridesmaid’s dresses...” you explained

  “I absolutely understand. We’ll make any notes today if you’d like to change anything and make sure the changes are made before we leave so we can see if there will be any problems the day of.”

  “Awesome” (Y/N) said from where she was standing, a big smile on her face that your daughter seemed to replicate when she looked at (Y/N)

  “You have a beautiful family” the planner whispered to you

  “Thank you,” you smiled, “I’m very lucky.” As the four of you made your way to your ‘dressing rooms,’ you noticed your fiancée stop a few times and just stare at the space, “babe, elske, what are you doing? We don’t have all day” you laughed

  “Can you picture it?” she asked softly

  “What?” you said, walking over to her and picking up Vita from (Y/N)’s arms

  “The lights. The snow outside. Our guests coming in all in black tie attire. The pictures that we’ll have forever will be so... magical”

  “Of course they will,” you smiled, kissing her forehead, “but we have to continue the tour.”

  “Can you get a list to our photographer? About what shots we want on the day?” she asked the planner

  “Absolutely!” the planner exclaimed, continuing to walk through the Theatre before asking if you wanted to do a run through of the ceremony.

  “Sure!” you said and (Y/N) nodded emphatically

  “Where should we put baby?” the planner asked

  “I can just hold her” you giggled and the planner said that it might be easier if you weren’t, “I don’t mind.” He shrugged and proceeded to go along with the run through and (Y/N) nearly cried every five seconds, it was exactly what you’d imagined.

  “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” she asked as you both stood on stage where you would be saying your vows, “marrying me, I mean. You still have time to back out. We’ve got the kid, if you don’t wanna be a husband, tell me now. Because I only intend to get married once.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. I only want to get married once. And I want to marry you.” You smiled at her as she blushed at your words

  “I love you” she said before leaning up to press her lips to yours

  “I love you, too” you replied when she pulled back from the kiss

  “Alright! And there it is! You say your ‘I Do’s,’ you kiss and then you walk off the stage back to the lobby, where you’ll be able to take a few pictures before the guests filter out and you say your thank yous before the reception. There will be a small break for everyone to go back to their hotels to change or whatever they’d like and so we can rearrange the lobby for when they come back for the party.” The planner explained and (Y/N)’s smiled beamed through the Theatre seats as you made your way to the lobby

  “Perfect!” You exclaimed

  “I’m so excited!” (Y/N) exclaimed in return and tucked herself into your side as a car was waiting for you out front. You waved goodbye to your wedding planner and let out a sigh of relief

  “Whew!” you laughed, “you don’t want to back out do you?”

  “WHAT?!” she scoffed, playfully hitting your shoulder, “NO. I told you up there, I only want to get married once and I wouldn’t have agreed to your proposal if I couldn’t see growing old with you.”

  “I was only kidding,” you teased and she smiled back at you, “we’re going to get married and it’s going to be amazing”

  “I will have nothing less.” She laughed before kissing your cheek, cuddling close to you as you rocked Vita on your knee.

[bigcat-hanson]

Long Way From Home [Part One] | Arin Hanson X Reader

You and your best (and only) high school friend, Arin, spend a day together at the new mall in your hometown. Your parents give you earth shattering news that turns your world upside down

Word count: 1670

     The tires of your bike propelled you forward, the occasional rock crunching below its weight. Your legs pedaled as fast as they could, fueled by your determination to beat him to your destination. There was no way he could catch up to you in time.

     “Slow down! You’re already winning!”

     “No chance, Hanson!”

     Two sets of tires skidded to a stop in front of the mall in your hometown of Wellington, Florida. It hadn’t even been a year since the mall was built, and it was already riddled with tourist trap crap. There were machines at every turn for little trinkets and souvenirs. Pressed pennies, cheesy keychains, and dad hats. You thought it was a bit cringy, but for whatever reason, Arin loved it.

     “Alright, (Y/N), lunch or Pokemon card hunt first?” Arin looked at you as he asked the question, waiting for your answer before entering the building. You adjusted the strap of your backpack to prevent it from further slipping off of your shoulder.

     “Cards. That way you can open them and brag about it while we eat. You did remember to bring your sleeves, right?”

     “In my pocket. I didn’t bring that many, though. I probably won’t get any rares.”

     “Fingers crossed. Alright, let’s go.”

     The mall was busy, as it was practically every weekend since it opened. The two of you swerved through crowds, around slow walkers and even managed to dodge the few seemingly unattended children that ran a million miles an hour in your direction. As you approached the game store, you crossed your fingers, hoping you could find what you were looking for. 

     Arin bolted directly inside and to the card display before you even had a chance to set foot inside. It wasn’t hard to find him when you finally did. The large sign advertising the new Pokemon: Neo Destiny release was practically a beacon for finding your friend. He already had at least seven packs in his hands by the time you found him.

     “Dear christ, Arin. You know you can’t buy out the whole store, right?” you laughed, gesturing to the packs of cards in his hands. 

     “It’s only ten packs!” he said defensively, grabbing one last pack. You shook your head, unable to help the smile that crept onto your face. 

     With pockets full of new Pokemon cards, Arin followed you to the food court. Both of you had agreed that it would be best if you took your food to one of the tables outside, and after receiving your orders, did just that. As Arin placed the food onto the table, you removed a small box from your backpack and slid it across the table to him, the Pokeball design slightly scratched from it. 

     “Ok, fingers crossed. Crack ‘em open, Hanson,” you prompted, taking the hot fries out of their container and cautiously biting into them. The look of excitement on his face was one that you wouldn’t trade for the world. 

     The first half was nothing to brag about. Almost every card was a common, with some neat looking holofoils mixed in. The next four packs after that revealed a number of low-level rares, all of which ended up getting sleeved just in case. Then there was the last pack. 

     “Holy shit! Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me?! Yo!!” Arin practically screamed, a look of amazement plastered on his face as he stared at the card in his hand. His free hand ran through his hair as he let out an excited laugh.

     “Wanna share with the class there, bud?” Your voice held a tinge of amusement. Seeing him that excited never ceased to be one of your favorite things in the world. 

     “I got a foil Dark fucking Espeon! Holy fucking Christ!” He scrambled wildly to find a sleeve to put the card in, his frantic movements turning into careful, precise ones as he slipped the card into one. 

     “Good pull, Hanson! God damn, nice work.”

     “That’s fucking awesome. Oh my god, I can’t believe I pulled that. That’s amazing.” You did have to admit, the shine of the foil did make it look super cool.

     “Alright, mission accomplished, fantastic pull made. You gonna eat or what?” you asked, placing the now full box of Pokemon cards back in the backpack. You gathered up the empty card packs and threw them away as Arin finally started eating his lunch. 

     You were finally about to head out after he had finished eating, but before you could even see your bikes, Arin grabbed your arm to prevent you from walking any further.

     “Look! They have one of those machines where you can make your own dog tags!” You looked in the direction that he was now pointing and, sure enough, he was right. You sighed, knowing exactly where this was going.

     “Arin, no. It’s cheesy tourist crap. I’m not doing that.” You tried to take a step forward, but he just pulled you back. 

     “Come on, please? Perfect ending to a perfect day. Think of how cool it would be to have dog tags with our names on them! Please, (Y/N), I promise I’ll never ask for anything like this again. Just this once, I promise,” he pleaded. You so desperately wanted to say no, that it was most likely cheap metal that would rust or break within a week, but as he always did in moments like these, he was boring a hole into your soul with those damn eyes of his, and you couldn’t resist.

     “Damn it. Fine, but just this once, and only because of the Espeon,” you relented, still trying to hold even a shred of sternness. Still keeping a hold on your arm, he bolted over to the machine and began digging around for coins in his pockets. You took the handful of quarters you always kept in a small pocket of your backpack and handed them to him.

     “Ok, uh, what should I put on it?”

     “Didn’t you just say you wanted your name on it like, three seconds ago?”

     “I mean, yea, but I want this to be perfect. I don’t know if just my name and a little picture of a palm tree would be cool enough.”

     “Here, let me do mine first,” you offered, moving in front of the machine. The quarters clinked as they disappeared inside, and the machine whirred to life. You typed out what you wanted to be on the tag, making sure to hide the display from Arin until you were finished. The machine went to work carving the letters and image into the metal, and dropping it into the dispenser once it was done.

     Arin got to it before you did, reaching into the slot and bringing it closer to himself to read it.

AJH (Y/I) ESPEON 2002

     He laughed as he read it, rubbing his thumb over the little carved palm tree under the lettering.

     “Well?” you asked, smiling at his apparent amusement with your inscription choice. He nodded and handed the small piece of metal to you.

     “That’s perfect. I’m doing that, too.” Taking a step back, you dramatically gestured to the machine, allowing him to make his own. Once the tag clattered out of the machine, he picked it up and inspected it before proudly turning it towards you, revealing an exact replica of the design you had used. “Now we match.”

     “Yes we do. Alright, I really need to head home. Let’s go.”

~~~~~

     The front door to your house closed quietly behind you. Something was up. Usually, your parents would still be at work at this point in the day, but for whatever reason, both of them were home. You walked into the kitchen to get yourself some water, when your mom called you into her bedroom.

     “Hi,” you said cautiously, not sure what to expect. The two of them both sitting on the edge of the bed, seemingly waiting for you set your nerves on edge.

     “Come sit down. We have something to tell you.” Your dad gestured to a chair sitting across from them as he spoke. You sat down, expecting the worst. 

     “What’s going on?”

     “I know this is going to be hard for you, but your mother and I agree that it would be the best thing for you.”

     “What? What are you talking about?”

     “You’re going to move to Arizona with your au-”

     “Arizona?! What? Mom, what is he talking about?”

     “Your aunt has an extra room in her house, and there’s a really good high school there for you. I promise you’ll like it there.”

     “I don’t know anyone there! It’s hard enough for me to make friends here, let alone in a completely new place!”

     “We understand that, but a good education is worth it.”

     “But Arin-”

     “Arin will be fine without you. Now, we need this to happen as soon as possible, so you’ll fly out first thing tomorrow with your essentials, and we’ll send the rest of your things as soon as…”

     Your mom’s words suddenly sounded like you were hearing them from the inside of a glass jar as you tried to process this. You knew things were bad for the three of you, but not bad enough to send you across the country. How the hell could they afford to move you away like this when they could hardly put food on the table on a consistent basis? How could they send you away from the only friend you had without giving you a chance to say goodbye?

     “You’ll tell him, right? That I say goodbye, and I’ll miss him, and that I’m sorry. You’ll tell him?” Your words were strained, every ounce of energy being spent on trying not to break down then and there. Your parents exchanged a look, but through your foggy eyes, you couldn’t tell what it was about.

     “We will. If I were you, I’d pack for tomorrow so you don’t have to worry about it when you wake up.”

[melyaliz]

Past loves and future babies pt. 3

Masterlist 

Fandom: Marvel / MCU 

Summary: Dinner, Drinks and what comes after 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OC 

Notes: No one really voted... BUT @thespacebuns reblogged with comments and I decided to give her another chapter :P 

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

DONATE or REQUEST

----------------------------

Before the snap Dixie and Mac had been on their own. The two siblings running across the world just getting hired out as muscle men, hackers, grifters, really anything they could do to make some money. 

Then the snap happened. 

Dixie remembered standing between an open safe and five gun men. Mac screaming in her ear to get out. Fear in his voice making it hard for her to focus. But she knew the drill when she was caught with her back against the wall, do whatever she could to get out of there. 

And then four of them men disappear. Crumbled into ash before her very eyes. The other guy freaked out not sure what to do. Calling out to his comrades. His own shocked yells slowly starting to echo more screams throughout the building as both her and the last gunman walked out. People all around them running out yelling. Trying to escape whatever was happening while their fellow coworkers crumbed around them like some horrible nightmare.

Dixie screamed Mac’s name. Her head set filling with static as she raced toward the door. She kept screaming his name so hard she was sure she tasted blood. Bolting from the building rushing toward the van nearly ripping the door off as she opined it. 

“Dixie!?! What the hell is going on?” her brother had asked his eyes wide as he stood there in pure shock. 

“I don’t know.” 

Since that day their dealings just left of the law slowly stopped. Instead becoming like a second defense to the cops. So many people, unsure what to do, had decided now was the time to play Grand Theft Auto IRL. Leaving millions of defenseless people alone with a lack of defense.

Luckily for Dixie and Mac they weren’t the only ones who had shifted toward protecting those who couldn’t. In fact, it felt like whoever was left had really chosen a side.

Those who were in it for themselves and those who were in it for others. 

Mac had found many resources during those times while on the web. People giving them tips on where to go and who to help. 

One in particular was a former cameraman for NBC news named Logan. 

Logan was funny, handsome, and had lost his wife. 

Mac had warned her, the moment they had met him. He had known it was Dixie’s type. Just out of reach. But she couldn’t help herself. 

It was like Dixie’s heart knew, fall in love with the ones you can never really have. Just another trick deeply ingrained in her subconscious as a way to protect herself. Remind herself that no matter how close they got there would always be something in the way. 

Logan joined their team along with a few others. Roaming the country finding people in need. Meeting up with other do-gooders helping those who couldn’t. 

And then everyone came back. 

And again, it was just Dixie and Mac. 

Alone together. 

--------------------------

Dinner was so much fun, everyone talking and joking while passing around the food. It almost felt like a TV version of a thanksgiving dinner. The way everyone was so comfortable around each other. The history. 

Dixie felt a little out of place but the great thing about food was that you could shove your mouth so no one expected you to talk. It wasn’t like Dixie didn’t like chatting with strangers but… she felt a little like a cow at this point. 

So she ate keeping her posture as small as possible as a way to minimize her presence and keep conversation away from her.  

Or that was what she had thought until Bucky met her gaze from across the table. Before she  could shift her gaze he spoke. “How did you like the suite?”

Nodding Dixie quickly swallowed the large bite of chow mein she had been shoving into her mouth. “It’s better than my old shitty apartment.” 

Bucky chuckled, “Tony keeps this place amazing.”

“The view is really nice,” Steve added, glancing over at Dixie. For a moment she wondered if he was trying to get her approval the way he was looking at her. Wide blue eyes searching her so intently.  

“So where did you live before this?” Bucky asked.

Dixie’s mind raced, where had she lived? Everywhere. Her and Mac moved from city to city pretty often trying to find places that rented for 6 months or less. While she knew she had to be here… you know to save the world. She wasn’t sure how open minded the avengers were to her past days for hire. 

“Arizona before this,” she smiled shrugging, “Tacos were amazing.” 

“I bet, it’s been a while since I have been in that area,"

Well it's pretty hot this time of year"

More small talk continued. Moving past her to something else. Tony’s house in the cabin or how he and Bucky’s arms matched. Well different arms but still. It was weird getting a glimpse into this side of them. All laughing and talking, trading stories and jokes like they were all highschool friends and not savors of the world. There was so much history Dixie almost felt like she was an outsider looking in. 

Which in a way she was.

The conversation went from the dining room to the large main room. There was a fully stocked bar. Tony started mixing drinks. Sam teasing Bucky about some mission they had gone on. Conversation flowed easily as they all laughed and joked around relaxing into the evening.. 

It was warm. These people were a family. Maybe bigger than Dixie and Mac but a family none the less.She had always believed that you could find family anywhere and these people, the greatest heros, were proof of that.  

As the night dragged on she watched curled up on a couch her eyes slowly getting heavier and heavier. 

Then a soft hand slowly brushed over hers pulling her awake. Turing she met Steve’s blue eyes. 

“You look like your are about to fall asleep” 

Smiling gratefully she nodded running her fingers through her hair. Getting up she followed Steve toward their apartment. Most of the team had gone back to their rooms. Bucky still there resting with a glass of scotch relaxing just listening to the music. He had been talking to Steve a few moments earlier, Dixie hadn’t caught the conversation comfortable with her own thoughts. 

It could have been the long day, or the alcohol and amazing food but Dixie didn’t really think much about what “going back meant.” Or that had been the case until they were there.  

Standing in front of the bedroom.

Oh yeah.

This is why she was here. 

Slowly Steve -annoyingly- opened the door for her. For a moment Dixie considered telling him to stop. Stop trying to be so nice and just be himself. 

She had seen a glimpse of it tonight with his team. He was so much more laid back and casual. 

Maybe someday she would be able to get him to act like that with her. When they were alone. She was good at breaking people down. Especially the uptight ones. She just needed to find the right buttons to push. Mac had always joked she had that little sister quality about her, being able to push buttons.

“Soooo” she said as they both stood in the doorway looking into the bedroom. Still so bare and sterile. A strip of moonlight spanned across the room shining on the bed like some weird silver spot light. Even the universe was laughing at them right now. 

Ha ha you have to have sex. 

Dixie would have found it funny if the guy next to her wasn’t so tense. 

It was so thick she could almost taste it on her tongue. The way he stood, the way his arms seemed to flex under his tight black tee. His hands clenched at his sides. Mouth in a tight line. He was totally unreadable and totally transparent at the same time. 

Letting out a long sigh she walked toward the bed slowly pulling off her shirt and shimmying out of her jeans. Behind her she heard Steve take a deep shuddering breath. His nerves getting the best of him.

He wasn’t the only one who was trying to hide his emotions. Dixie’s own emotions were like small bursts of nervous energy as she threw herself onto the bed. Rolling into the center pulling a pillow to herself looking back at her future baby daddy. 

“Well at least it’s comfortable.” she flashed him a smile moving a little to get more comfortable. He flashed her a small smile before pulling off his own shirt and then pants. Slowly folding them before putting them on the floor.

Dixie couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow not sure if he was just stalling or if he was really that anal. She would log that away for later. 

Steve stood now, shirtless in his boxers just looking at her, arms resting at his sides. His hands were a little more relaxed this time much to Dixie’s relief.  She looked up at him through thick lashes as she sat cross legged on the bed. Both of them just staring at the other unsure what to do next. 

“Did you… want to… this is a pretty cozy bed.” she faltered patting the mattress next to her. That same anxiety building up in her chest. Crashing like hot waves in her stomach. Building up before dropping fast and rough as the bed dipped with Steve’s weight as he sat down. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, turning to  face her scooting closer before gently pulling her closer.

“You don’t have to ask” she nodded slowly closing her eyes. 

He was so gentle when he kissed her. As if she was going to break under his touch. Something about that tender touch hurt deeper than if he had slapped her. It made her dizzy as if she was standing on the edge of a 100 foot drop.

And Dixie hated hights. 

Grabbing him she pulled him closer moving forward so she could position herself up and over his legs and get onto his lap. He grunted, moving back slightly, his hands resting behind him to brace himself as Dixie wrapped her own legs around his waist. Pulling away she looked down at him, studying his face. A million dumb commnets ran thought her head but she fought not say them aloud. Trying not to ruin the moment instead choosing to keep her big mouth busy with his lips. 

His hands reached around her hips, unsure what to do not really touching her. Reaching down she took them encurling them around her before going back to his hair. 

They kept kissing 

And kissing 

And kissing 

“Ok my lips are getting raw” Dixie giggled pulling away. She could feel his getting a bit hard under her. She wasn’t sure how hard considering she also didn’t know… how big he was. But at least she knew she was doing something. At least he found her attractive.

That was good. Because if he didn’t this whole process would be that much more of a struggle. 

Not that she was against wearing a paper bag.

A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do when saving the future.  

“I’m sorry” a pained expression spread across his face. His hand reaching up gently pushing away her hair, his blue eyes slightly wide his breath coming out slightly short. 

She studied him, her fingers going for his face thumbs stroking his cheek. 

“I’m not going to bite you” she whispered, “unless you're into that.” 

The tension was cut and he chuckled pushing her forward so she was laying on her back. He kissed her again before pulling away “Oh sorry.” 

“Shhh stop apologizing” she whispered wrapping her legs around his waist again before rubbing his arm. Pulling herself up she kissed but above his collar bone in the dip of his neck. Much to her pleasure she heard Steve’s breath hitched fingers gripping the blankets on either side of her. 

Pulling away she watched as he positioned himself on top of her again kissing her neck this time. Following her example. His fingers fumbling over her totally unsure what to do. His kisses hesitant.

This really wasn’t working. 

"Stop stop," she said pushing his very toned chest gently, "we don't have to rush this.” 

“I…” he sat back looking perplexed, upset maybe. Mostly just awkward. This whole things was just so damn awkward.  

Smiling she laid down beckoning him to lay next to her, “Let’s just cuddle, we don’t need to rush anything.”  

“Ok” slowly he laid down next to her, his face only inches from hers. 

“No” 

“What?” Steve frowned studying her as Dixie shook her head. 

“Turn around.” 

“I… ok…” he said slowly turning his huge back facing her. 

Wrapping her arms around his waist she pulled herself closer spooning him. It was easier this way she could pretend he was a huge pillow. A very muscular pillow.  Closing her eyes Dixie buried her nose in his neck taking in his warm scent. He smelled like warm flannels and justice. 

Whatever justice smelled like. 

She felt his large hand enveloping hers pulling her arms tighter around him. Thumb drawing small circles over her skin. The touch sending small goose bumps up her arm. 

“We’re in this together ok.” she said, her warm breath fanning over his neck, “you just have to be open with me, we can go any any pace you want.”  

‘Thank you” he whispered so softly she might have missed it. Maybe it was her imagination. 

After all, what did THE Captain America have to worry about? 

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@itsmeeluciie

[fanforthefics]

For the writing prompt, #16 for Tyson/Gabe! Bonus points if it has anything to do with Tys’ return to Denver! 🥰

16: One person pouting, only to have it removed by a kiss from the other person.

“So...” 

“He’s not here,” Nate says, immediately, and Tyson. Well. He’s pretty sure his face does a thing, even when his face has been doing things since he got back to Denver. It’s the weirdest mix of heartbreaking and great that he’s ever felt--he thought he knew what this was like, after his dad getting traded all the time, but it’s different. Being back in Denver, back in the familiar tunnels of the rink, but not. The visitor’s locker room is different. 

Nate’s not different, though, and neither are the rest of the guys, when Tyson ditched the team after practice and he and Kerf went to crash the Avs’ locker room. It all feels so familiar, down to Kerf messing around with JT and Josty in the corner. It feels like letting out a breath, being here. It might have been different, if shit had been better in Toronto, but now--

Now, he’s willing to take the W of being able to be standing next to Nate, to catch up with Willy and EJ like he didn’t text them all the time anyway. To be with guys who know him already. 

Except for one. “Where is he?” Tyson asks, giving the room another look. There’s one blonde head conspicuously missing. It’s a head that’s usually hard to miss, because it’s so big, but also because, well. Tyson always knows where Gabe is. 

“IR,” EJ says, sounding surprised Tyson has to ask. Tyson rolls his eyes. 

“Yeah, no duh,�� he says, because of course he knows that. It hasn’t been good, that Gabe’s laid up, but it’s been kind of nice that they can both be miserable at the same time, if for different reasons. There have been a lot of whining texts on both sides. It’s always nice to remember that no matter how much everything sucks for Tyson, Gabe’s always going to be more dramatic about it. “But, like. He said he might come in today? ‘cause, you know. For the game.” Tyson can’t quite make himself say ‘Because I’m here.’ 

They weren’t--they were really good friends, but they weren’t that. Quite. Or they had almost been? It had felt like maybe they were going to be there, at the end of the season, but then the Trade had happened and Gabe hadn’t said anything and Tyson had been too busy to deal with all his overwhelming feelings for his not-his-captain-anymore, so like. Tyson had left and they still texted all the time, and they weren’t anything. But Gabe had said he’d try to come in. 

EJ’s face does something that’s almost sympathetic. It’s bad, if EJ thinks he has to do sympathy. “He didn’t say anything to me,” He says. Which. Okay. Tyson can take the hint. 

“Whatever,” Nate interrupts, throwing an arm around Tyson, because he’s the best bro ever. “Who needs Landy. We’re getting dinner, yeah? Everyone?” 

“As long as I’m not paying,” EJ retorts, and Tyson grins at him. At all of them. His boys. Not like, his boys anymore, because the Leafs are that now, and he’s like--he likes them, and they’re getting there, but these guys are different. He went through fire with them. 

“I missed you guys,” Tyson says aloud. Nate makes a sad face, because he knows that and also he doesn’t like to think about Tyson being a country away. 

“Missed you too,” Willy says, sincerely. EJ makes a face. 

“Shut the fuck up, Brutes,” he tells Tyson, which Tyson understands means that he missed Tyson too. 

So they go out for dinner, and Tyson--it’s fun. but he also can’t stop fucking thinking about it. 

WTF Landy? he texts under the table, when Nate’s getting them a round of drinks. 

Then, when Gabe doesn’t text back even though Tyson knows he saw it because he sees everything--

Are you avoiding me? 

Still nothing. Which is a yes. Tyson’s getting pissed, actually. Like, whatever they were or weren’t, they were friends. Tyson counted Gabe as one of his guys too, and he’d thought Gabe did the same.  

“Is he mad at me?” Tyson asks into a lull in the conversation. Nate rolls his eyes. 

“No,” he says. 

“How do you--” 

“Because he asks about you all the fucking time,” Nate informs him. “Which I don’t get, because he could just ask you too, but all he fucking wants to talk about is how you’re doing and shit.” 

“Because he’s bored and on IR?” Tyson fills in.

Nate gives him a look, which is fair. Tyson knew that wasn’t the answer either. But then, “So why isn’t he here?” 

“I don’t try to understand Landy.” 

“That’s fair, it’s dangerous to try to understand that twisty Swedish brain. Pretty soon your head would be growing and you’d only be eating meatballs and talking about IKEA, and then what would we do?” 

“You’d be happy with two Landys.” 

Tyson has a brief mental flash that’s sort of mindblowing but also needs to be tucked away until he’s very, very alone. His cheeks probably go very red, thinking about it, but whatever. 

“But I couldn’t give up my Dogg,” he says, and Nate grins a little, happy. Nate’s easy. Not like, actually--Nate’s grumpy and bullheaded and emotional and actually takes a lot of managing as a best friend, to keep him on an even keel, but all that is easy to do. Tyson gets him. Tyson’s always gotten him. 

Gabe, on the other hand...

“Maybe this is like, giving me a hint. I could probably take a hint.” Tyson had taken the hint, thank you very much, when Gabe hadn’t said anything when they left. Their texting had all been super things bros would say. Or, well, Tyson wasn’t great at figuring out the bros line, because he’s flirty with all his bros, and Gabe is too, so maybe it’s not the most platonic, but not like, out of the usual for him. Gabe wouldn’t need to drive the point home by ghosting him. 

Nate makes a not-sure face. “What?” Tyson asks. 

“I...” he trails off, makes the sort of face that means he knows something but isn’t sure if he should tell Tyson, probably because he feels some loyalty to his captain. 

“What do you know, Dogg?” Tyson demands. “Come on. Best friend privileges. What happened?” 

“What are we talking about?” EJ asks, sitting back down next to them. Nate gives him a warning look, but since when has that worked. 

“Nate knows something about why Landy’s ghosting me and won’t tell me,” Tyson informs EJ. “Because he doesn’t respect best friend privileges. See if I let you stay with me in Toronto,” he adds to Nate. Which is an utterly empty threat, like he was giving up Nate time, but Nate still makes a horrified face. 

“Oh, you mean how I’m not sure who’s sulkier when you don’t text them back immediately, this one or Gabe?” EJ asks, casual, jerking his head at Nate. “Or how  I’m pretty sure he was crying over that clip of you scoring against Arizona?” EJ adds. “Or like, doing something else, I wasn’t going to ask. Whatever is up between you two is between you two.” 

“Like you don’t want all the gossip?” Tyson retorts, but--okay. That doesn’t sound like Gabe’s trying to give him a hint to ghost him. “See if I tell you what Factor told me about--” 

EJ tries to look superior, but he’s the biggest fucking gossip in a league of gossips, so he caves pretty quickly. 

Tyson tries not to dwell. He’s with Nate, with his boys, he can breathe again--he got a goal at last, Babs is gone, maybe things will be better now--but he can’t fucking stop dwelling. It’s uncomfortable. Tyson’s not meant to dwell, he’s not good at it. But what the fuck is Gabe doing? It’s bullshit. It’s Gabe pulling his Gabe bullshit, that he thinks he can get away with because he’s hot and charming and Gabe, and Tyson’s historically so easy for him, but-- 

“Just go,” Nate says at last, interrupting a story Tyson was half-telling about Kerf and Mo. 

“What?” 

Nate rolls his eyes. “He’s at home. Just go figure this out.” 

“But--” Now that Nate’s said it, it’s all Tyson wants to do, but also he doesn’t want to leave. Gabe is Gabe, but he doesn’t want to give up his time with these guys either. There’s not enough. There won’t be enough, again. 

“Go,” Nate tells him. Grudgingly, but sure. "Figure this shit out. You need to.” 

Tyson loves him, so much. “You’re the best Dogg a man could ask for, you know,” he tells Nate, and Nate flushes and looks away, sheepish like he gets when he’s confronted with being a good person. 

So Tyson goes. The uber ride to Gabe’s is so viscerally familiar, the same as he’s done for years. But like. Different. Because he’s not the same, or whatever. It shouldn’t be this weird. Tyson’s moved away from friends before. But somehow, it is. 

Then he’s at Gabe’s, and the lights are on, so he’s definitely awake. He was definitely ignoring Tyson, then. 

Tyson knocks. There’s no response. Open your door, Tyson texts him. Then, when that doesn’t get a response, he leans on the doorbell. He is very good at annoying Gabe into doing what he wants. 

Sure enough, there’s barking, then the sound of a cast clomping on hardwood, then the door jerks open. 

“What the--Tyson?” Gabe asks. He’s--somehow, Tyson had forgotten just how hot he was since he’d seen him, or maybe just forgotten how hard it hit every time, even now when he was in basketball shorts over his cast and a ratty t-shirt, his hair messy like he hadn’t left the house in days. Even when his mouth was hanging open in confusion and shock in a way that should have been unattractive. “What are you doing here?” 

“Saying hello to Zoey, clearly,” Tyson informs Gabe, and raises an eyebrow. “Are you going to let me in?” 

He’s a little worried Gabe’s going to put up a fuss on the doorstep, but Gabe steps back, and Tyson pushes past him. He drops down to his knees immediately to greet Zoey, who’s barking excitedly and licking at his face, because he wasn’t lying about missing her too. The pictures Gabe sends of her isn’t enough. 

“Okay, enough, Zoey,” Gabe says, after a minute or so. His voice sounds sort of tight. “Tys. Why are you here?” 

Tyson gives Zoey one more pet, just to be contrary, then stands up so he can glare at Gabe. “Why do you think I’m here? What the fuck, Gabe.” 

“I--” 

“You can’t just fucking ghost me like that,” Tyson goes on, warming to his theme. “Like, so you don’t want--whatever, that’s fine, I’m an adult, I can deal with rejection. Or not even rejection, just like, not taking off. I’ve been preparing myself for that since the beginning, you’re you and I’m me, that was always like, inevitable, that’s whatever. But I thought we were friends at least, and that’s shitty of you, I’m only here for a day and it’s been so shitty and I just wanted--” 

“We are friends,” Gabe interrupts. He sounds pretty offended Tyson would think otherwise, which is rich. 

“Then maybe act like it,” Tyson snaps. “And don’t ghost me while I’m in town.” 

“I didn’t--”  Tyson glares. Gabe flushes, the sort of stubborn flush he gets when someone calls him on his shit. Tyson’s been gone a few months and this is what happens, clearly. Other people on the team call him on some of his shit, but most of the team is too in love with him to tell him when his drama’s going overboard, and EJ thinks its too funny to say anything and Nate won’t say anything if it doesn’t affect the game. Tyson’s had long years of figuring out how to both be kind of in love with him and also call him on bullshit like this. 

“If you don’t want to see me, that’s--fucking shitty, but whatever, you don’t want to. You could say so.” Tyson crosses his arms. “It’s called communication. I’m pretty sure they’ve heard of it in Sweden.” 

“I wanted to see you. I want to see you.” Gabe says it in his voice where he’s so fucking earnest, where it’s impossible not to believe him. Tyson makes an inarticulate, angry noise, because if that’s true what the fuck is even happening? 

Then, because Tyson has never been inarticulate for very long in his life, “Could have fooled me.” Tyson tightens his arms around himself. “And like, if this was you trying to give me a hint I shouldn’t--that whatever was happening--” there’s no way to say it when they’d never acknowledged it, whenever the vaguely antagonistic flirting that had always made up their friendship tilted into something more real. “That we’re just friends, or whatever, there are less shitty ways to do it. Hell, you could tell Nate, he’d tell me. Or EJ, he’d probably think it was funny. Unless this is a way to mess up my game tomorrow? Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t need you to mess up my game, I’m doing that well enough on my own, and--” 

“That was Babs,” Gabe interjects, fast and fierce. “That wasn’t you, he wasn’t letting you play your game. You looked a lot better--” He cuts off, flushing when Tyson gapes at him. 

“What the fuck, Gabe?” he demands, yet again. “You ghost me and then you say that? I can handle whatever is happening here if you just tell me what it is! If--” 

“I couldn’t, okay?” Gabe bites out. Not like he’s angry at Tyson, but like he’s angry at the words themselves. He’s drawing himself up to his full height, anyway, and Tyson is suddenly faced with how ridiculous it is that they’re doing this in Gabe’s front hall, with Tyson still in his jacket and shoes. But it’s hard to remember Gabe’s ridiculous when he looks like he does, all big and righteous. “I thought I could, I wanted to see you--I want to see you--of course I do, but then it was today and I just--couldn’t.” 

“Why not?” Tyson demands. That’s not enough. 

“Why do you think?” 

“I don’t know! If I knew, I wouldn’t be here, I’d be hanging out with my best friend, who I ditched to come here and yell at you, because you’re being a dick.”  Tyson gives Gabe his best stare down. “I was going to get Nate to break his diet plan to take me to Dairy Queen, Gabriel. That’s what I gave up to do this.” 

Gabe snorts, shakes his head. Smiles, but not his usual overwhelmingly big smile. Something sad in it. “Fuck, I’ve missed you, Tys.” 

“Could have fooled me.” 

Gabe sighs, and runs a hand through his hair. Tyson only thinks about doing that himself for like, a second, which is probably a win. “I couldn’t,” he says again. Which is still not a thing. “Not when--we were so close, at the end of last season. Something was going to happen, finally, after--or I thought something was,” Gabe interrupts himself, giving Tyson a questioning look. Tyson bites his lip, but he nods. 

“Yeah. I thought so too,” he admits. Gabe’s smile flickers across his face. 

“But then you were traded, and nothing did. Which I get,” he adds, captain-earnest again. “You needed to settle in. And long distance is hard, when you need to bond with your new team.” 

“Are you saying I’m the reason nothing happened?” Tyson asks. Gabe shrugs. 

“You didn’t say anything, before you left.” 

“Neither did you!” 

“I didn’t want to push you,” Gabe retorts, his back up a little again. “You had a lot going on, I thought you’d say something if you could handle it.” 

“What the--that’s not how it works!” Tyson protests. “That’s--you were always going to have to make the move, I thought we both got that. And,” he goes on, because Gabe looks like he’s going to protest. “It’s always the person staying who’s supposed to make the dramatic gesture, like, running after me at the airport, or whatever. Not the person who’s leaving. I--” he cuts himself off. “Anyway. We’re circling back to that,” he informs Gabe, who looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “But continue.” 

“I wasn’t here, I couldn’t chase you through an airport,” Gabe points out. Tyson is tempted to keep arguing this, because he would absolutely not put it past Gabe to take a transatlantic flight for a grand gesture, but he refuses to be distracted. 

“Gabe.” 

“Right, so we were almost there, and then we weren’t, but we were still--close. And I, fuck. I missed you, Tys. A lot.” Gabe says it like a fact. Not like something to throw at Tyson, not accusatory, not a confession. Just something true. “And it killed me that things have been so bad for you and I couldn’t help.” 

“You helped,” Tyson has to interject. Because that’s true too. Just being able to talk to Gabe about it, to hear Gabe’s anger on his behalf, had helped. 

Predictably, Gabe perks up a little at that. “Good.” He pauses, then shakes his head a little. “But--you were going to be here, and we still weren’t--you know--and I just--” He makes a face at himself, like he’s frustrated at his inability to articulate something. It’s not a face he makes often. “I couldn’t do it, Tyson. I couldn’t see you like we were just friends, for just a few hours. I just couldn’t. I knew I’d do something drastic. And you’d just be leaving again, and nothing had changed about why nothing happened, so--” 

Tyson blinks. “So let me get this straight,” he says, slowly. “You ghosted me because you missed me too much, and didn’t think you could see me without doing some dramatic gesture? That you thought I don’t want?” Gabe opens his mouth, but Tyson’s not done. “That is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.” 

“I--” 

“Long distance is a fucking thing,” Tyson interrupts. “Hell, half the team is long distance with someone. That’s just how hockey works. It’s not the end of the world. It’s doable.” Gabe’s face is doing something unacceptable, in how it’s lighting up. Tyson has never been able to deal with Gabe’s face when he’s happy. Especially when he’s pissed at Gabe. “Which you know if you’d fucking talked to me, and maybe said any of this, instead of being such a drama queen and hiding alone in your house like some sort of Victorian spinster or whatever.” 

“Tyson,” Gabe says, in that stupidly happy voice, and takes a step forward. 

“You have had so many opportunities to say something,” Tyson goes on. “It’s so easy. Just, hey Tys, so we have a thing, what do you think about figuring out what it means and how good we are at Skype sex? Which I think we’d be pretty good at,” Tyson adds, flushing, because it’s not like he hasn’t thought about it. “I mean, I don’t shut up and you’re good at talking, we--” 

“Hey Tys,” Gabe says. He’s taken another step forward, towards Tyson, so Tyson’s back is against the wall. Tyson tilts his head up and resolutely does not respond to that tone of voice, half glee and half growl. It’s really hot, but Tyson refuses. Gabe was being an idiot. He’s not rewarding it. 

“No you don’t, I’m pissed,” Tyson warns him. It’s very hard. Gabe is very close and he’s so large and his face is so fucking perfect. “You could have done this when i got in this afternoon, instead of having us do this whole thing, you don’t get--” 

“Come on, Four,” Gabe murmurs. Tyson maybe shivers, but he refuses to let Gabe win this. 

“That’s not my number anymore,” Tyson points out. He maybe looks at Gabe’s lips, because he’s weak. But still. 

“I really don’t care.” Gabe lifts his hand to touch Tyson’s cheek, but lets it hover. “Yeah?” 

Tyson is still pissed, because they could have avoided this so easily. But also he knew Gabe was a drama queen when he irritatingly tumbled into whatever this is, and like, he doesn’t have much time here. 

“Fine,” he says, half sighing like he can at all hide the eagerness in his voice. “But don’t think this means I’m not still mad, you’re going to have to--” his mouth keeps moving against Gabe’s mouth for a second, trying to talk, but then it sort of registers that he’s kissing Gabe, and his brain short circuits and his body takes over. 

It’s good. It’s so good, and Gabe kisses like Tyson had thought he would, overwhelming focus and like he’s trying to make sure Tyson can’t think at all so he’ll stop arguing, which is working irritatingly well. Tyson’s not going to let that stand, and the best way to deal with that is to kiss him back, to make sure he knows what he was missing, so Tyson wraps a hand into Gabe’s hair and tugs him closer. 

When they break apart to breathe, Gabe stays close, his forehead resting against Tyson’s. Tyson takes a second, then, 

“We could have been doing that for so long if you weren’t an idiot,” he says, “You owe me so much, imagine if I’d indulged you and we didn’t--” 

“Be quiet, Tyson,” Gabe says, laughing, but then he kisses Tyson again, which isn’t exactly a good way to incentivize Tyson not talking. 

“Okay, but now we only have a little while, ‘cause I’ve got to get back to Nate’s tonight,” Tyson tells him. Gabe pulls away enough to gape, looking affronted. 

“You’re going to stay at Nate’s? Not here?” 

“One of the two of you made an effort to see me today,” Tyson points out. “And anyway, you know perfectly well my list of priorities and where you fall on it compared to Nate. It goes Ralph, Nate, Zoey, you. Or, no. Ralph, Nate, Duke, Zoey, Cox, you.” 

“Zoey doesn’t beat Duke?” Gabe demands, sounding more irritated than he has been during this entire conversation, and Tyson can’t handle him even a little. 

“Look, the heart wants what the heart wants,” Tyson says, and tugs on Gabe’s hair a little, experimentally. given the noise Gabe makes, it seems to work. “Are you going to argue about it or kiss me again?”

“Kiss first, then we’re arguing that,” Gabe says, and cuts Tyson off with his mouth before he can reply. Tyson lets him. Gabe’s admittedly doing a pretty good job of convincing Tyson to stop being pissed, and Tyson guesses he’s willing to be convinced. 

(The next day, visitor’s locker room: 

“Bear, you have a visitor,” Mo tells him, throwing a towel at Tyson. 

That really doesn’t specify anything--Tyson’s pretty sure Nate won’t manage to stop by, after losing, but Willy totally would manage it. Or maybe Emily wants Tyson to humiliate himself on camera a little, for old times sake. 

Still, Tyson goes outside, and then he grins for a second before he puts on his irritated face. 

“So you made it today?” he asks Gabe. “Enjoy the game?” 

Gabe’s face does something very fun, which Tyson’s going to enjoy for a while, probably. Annoying Gabe is always fun. “That was a good goal,” Gabe admits, a little grudging, but also Nate has it on good authority he likes watching Tyson’s hockey, so he’ll take it. 

“Yeah?” Tyson asks. “So you just came here to tell me that, or--” 

“Come here,” Gabe mutters, and then he gets a hand on Tyson’s wrist and is pulling him away towards an empty room. “How long do you have?” 

“We leave in like an hour,” Tyson tells him, and grins when Gabe pushes him against a closed door. “Think you can handle seeing me for that much time? Or are you going to do something drastic?” 

Despite the game, Gabe grins, that ridiculously happy thing that always makes Tyson go all squirmy and stupid. “Definitely something drastic,” he says, and then Tyson has to save up his retort for that for when his mouth isn’t better occupied.) 

[brainsdivided]

Shattered Hearts and Broken Dreams - Chapter 3

5 September 2293

It took a couple weeks for them to finally get to the Legion's territory. When they did they were on an old highway in the middle of an empty desert. A few legionaries approached them, asking the pair questions. Joshua explained they were traders looking to buy brahmin to transport the stock they’ll purchase. The bandages, he explained that he was beginning to undergo ghoulification and he wished not to expose his appearance to others’ view. With his explanation being satisfactory and reasonable, they were allowed to pass into the town close by, dubbed a ‘free’ town within the Legion. Such towns paid tribute and serve the Legion, but are allowed to trade and act unimpeded to allow for trade to flourish.

The sleeves of Ezekiel’s shirt were stained with blood. Sluggish and nervous, the boy stuck closeby to his caregiver, afraid of the Legion environment that now surrounded them. He whispered softly, "Dad said that your name is forbidden here, is that true?"

"Nobody must know who I am. For them my name is Joshua Danson, traveling trader. They allow traders to roam around freely."

Walking past a few old world buildings, the boy could make out a bar, brothel and even a casino. "Legion doesn't like these places but allows certain places to keep them... for a price. Stay away from them."

Ezekiel nodded then coughed, "Uncle Joshua, I feel dizzy and I'm tasting metal.” As he walked his legs grew heavy, making him lean against Joshua’s side as they walked. 

"We're seeing the doctor now." Joshua supported the boy and walked towards a sandcrete house with a large red cross painted upon it.

It was almost as though his legs gave away as soon as they walked through the door and the boy's grip tightened onto Joshua's arm.

One of the nurses rushed over immediately to help the two. Joshua explained that the boy was suffering from radiation poisoning and they had no more medicine for him. Moments later Ezekiel was in a dark room on an IV drip.

“I’ll be back soon.” Joshua gave Ezekiel a pat on his hand before standing upright and giving the nurse some Legion coin as he left to find some supplies.

While Joshua was gone, Ezekiel had napped for what felt like a short while. He was cut from his slumber by a sudden wretch, resulting in him vomiting on himself.

When Joshua came back to the small clinic with the doctor in tow, Ezekiel was being cleaned up and changed. 

A dripping of blood from Ezekiel's nose soon, though nothing new. He just wiped it with the sleeve of his new shirt. Feeling the nausea and metallic taste coming on again, he quickly turned his head to the bucket on the floor, vomiting once more. Wiping his bloodied mouth and nose on his shirt, his brown eyes gazed up at his caregiver, who worried for the boy.

The doctor looked over Ezekiel’s face and body. "You weren't kidding about the radiation poisoning. Unfortunately we've had it rough this year, too. Rad-X and Radaway aren’t too common out here where most of it has been used or stored away. The NCR would have more than us. Whatever you found with traders is what is available in this town. All I can do is give an assessment on the severity and his presumed lifespan. I'm just going to go through a checklist to determine that." He put his hand on the boy's forehead, touched his neck, and under his arms. "A bit of a fever. Vomiting is obvious, as well as hemorrhaging. Skin looks pale and his eyes are sunken.” As the doctor made his way performing a physical check-up, he asked Joshua and Ezekiel questions regarding symptoms and concerns.

The doctor concluded the check-up once the questions were answered then Joshua spoke up, "I have been able to buy two doses of rad-away, how much would that improve his status?"

"Maybe 2 more weeks. Hard to say really, because he might not be dealing with just radiation now, he could very easily pick up another illness. Now, unless you find enough to rid him entirely of it, he will have about an extra month in total. You might have better luck in another town." The doctor shook his head sorrowfully before leaning towards Joshua and whispering, "if he starts having seizures and his words begin to slur, I'd say to just comfort him. He's going to be confused and scared. Return back to his home and his family."

Joshua nodded softly. "Not a long time... I see. Do you think... the New Vegas Clinic could help? With an implant perhaps?”

The doctor shrugged, "Possibly. I haven't experimented with those. I'm not sure if they'd work on a kid. Seriously though, you're an uncle. His parents should see him first."

"His parents passed not long ago... that implant though, it could be his only option... the boy doesn't deserve this. Then it is decided, I will take him to the clinic in Vegas."

Sighing, the doctor nodded and bid them farewell. After paying the medical professional, Joshua helped Ezekiel out the door. 

There was a long pause, the boy trying to find the right words to put together his thoughts. Having caught some of what was discussed and with news that confirmed his fate, he felt and thought so much and his mind raced. What he could do now or rethink what he could have done differently. For now, he just slipped his hand into Joshua's, not knowing what else to say or think.

Joshua glanced down at the boy and gave his hand a comforting squeeze. "We are going to Vegas. It's a little more than a week from here. I am not giving up yet and neither should you."

Ezekiel’s lips quivered, "I'll try to keep up with you. I will make this whole thing up to you." He spoke meekly. "I'll take your book more seriously. If things get worse or take a turn for the worst, it's my last hope, right?"

"Don't worry about it, son. You just tell me when it gets too much."

"What if I get too tired?" He whispered.

Joshua spoke with conviction, "Then I'll carry you. Just as I carry the burdens the Lord has rested upon me, I will carry yours as well. Your pain, I will add onto my own.”

Smiling up at Joshua, he let go of his hand and instead, wrapped one arm around Joshua’s back and began walking in sync with Joshua, doing his best to keep up with the older man's stride. In turn, Joshua rested his own arm across the boy’s shoulders.

"Are there any dangers on the way to Vegas?" Ezekiel questioned.

Joshua held the boy close. "Not here in Legion territory. It's the safest area of the wasteland. In NCR controlled territory... well, they don't stamp out the dangerous wildlife much. Including bandits and raiding bands.”

"Dad said that whenever he traveled with you, he'd get irritated sometimes. You would clear out groups of yao gui, mantises, and White Legs faster than he could reload and take aim! The second he took aim, he'd have to readjust because you ended up in view and he didn't want to hurt you, of course. With skills like that if anyone tried to tell me that I'm not safe with you then I don't know who I'd be safe with." Talking with his free hand, he waved in front of the both of them trying to tell the story with his hand.

"Well... he exaggerated a bit there. I usually try getting a bit closer with my pistol, yes. Him using a rifle he always stayed behind and took calculated shots over long distances while I let the Lord guide my shots... and fire many of them."

"Yeah I know. He told me that you put a bunch of bullets into Salt-Upon-Wounds. You know if your aim is true, and as good as Dad said it is, you only needed 1 bullet." He joked. "Sometimes too, he'd tell us all the swears he'd spew every time you ran into the sights of his gun, right before he'd go and pull the trigger."

"You better not repeat them, boy." Joshua warned. "You see, when you want a man dead, you need to make sure he is really dead. I am the best example myself. Caesar wanted me dead. He and his assassins failed to see that through. I am not going to make that mistake with anyone I engage with.” He sighed, “I see a lot of your father in you. He was far from perfect, but he was a good man and in these trying times, that is more than I could ask for."

"You cared for him, then? He said it was hard to tell how you felt about him. You'd never really tell him how you felt and that he never knew if he was going to wake up again in Zion some nights because he was afraid he'd tick you off somehow.”

"You see, I may not show it, but he was a man I respected. A warrior. He treated me with respect, too. Even with our disagreements."

Ezekiel looked thoughtfully up at the Arizona sky, thinking of his late father. “I’m sure he figured that.” His eyes flickered back to Joshua, where their eyes met for a brief moment. The pair smiled lightly at each other and held one another closely as they walked, appreciating the company. Looking back on the road, the two followed the road ahead, back towards the desert in which Ezekiel had run from when his family was ripped from him.

[valeriics]

― 𝙈𝙀𝙀𝙏 𝙑𝘼𝙇𝙀𝙍𝙄𝘼!

( pinterest ) / tw: ptsd, death mention 

hello ! my name is thalia and i bring to you all my second muse woop woop ! below the cut you will find some information on valeria ! if you’re interested in plotting with her please feel free to hit the like and i’ll come invade your messages or shoot me a message !

ADRIA ARJONA  ,   CIS FEMALE ,   SHE / HER          →         according   to   the   school   records   ,   VALERIA MORALES  NARVAEZ has   been   teaching   at   sacred   heart   for   the   past   4    months   .   i   last   saw   them   around   the courtyard   ;   i   think   they   were   preparing   lecture   notes   .   at   twenty-nine   years   old   ,   vale teaches  international human rights law   and   get   this   ,   i   heard   that   she witnessed her partner’s death —   figure   it’s   true   ?   everyone   around   here   always   associates   them   with   mud ridden boots traded for sleek shoes, a wedding ring gracing her finger even in mourning & a glare that would put medusa to shame.   in   this   time   of   strange   happenings   ,   they   have   no   affiliation   with   the   cult   in   the   woods   .         

― 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙎 !

name. valeria morales narvaez.

nicknames. vale.

age. 29.

d.o.b. 20th of january.

teaches. international human rights law.

ethnicity. guatemalan & puerto rican. 

nationality. american. 

languages spoken. english & spanish. 

gender. cis female.

orientation. bisexual & biromantic.

― 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙍𝙔 !

valeria grew up in a town called tombestone, in arizona. with a population of a mere 1,400 people it was small enough that everyone knew everyone else’s business. she never liked that. at a young age, she grew bored of her life, choosing to follow her brother, javier, and his friends about like a lost puppy against her mother’s wishes. she had her hands full with the little farm she owned, javier and ensuring that the family had food on the table. she didn’t want to be running after her daughter, ensuring that she wasn’t found shooting targets with the boys, jumping out of windows late at night, racing old cars on dirt ridden roads, or stealing the neighbor’s chicken again for the fun of it all. and so the woman came down harshly on valeria, harsher than on her brother.

the harsher her mother’s verdict was, the more she distanced herself from the woman. the more she urged herself to leave this town. she wanted nothing more than to go to university out of state, to turn her back and never return. so, when the marines came knocking she answered. name was signed on the dotted line, they would pay for her education as long as she enlisted. perfect, she thought. not thinking twice, she packed her things and left for the other side of the country, not once thinking to call her mother and seeing if she was alright. she attempted to outrun the expectations her mother held.

after university, military service loomed over her shoulders, she knew she would have to keep her end of the bargain or suffer the consequences. and so, she found her way to the marines: a family she never asked for, but loved regardless. training was rigorous, it was hard– even more so considering she was a woman. it felt as though she had to work twice as hard simply to keep up with the boy’s club. the young woman was sent to boot camps all across the country, from sweating their asses of in the desert, to navigating the forests in negative degrees, and taking a well deserved break with an unhealthy amount of smoke. it was all fun and games, until she had to grow up– and grow up fast.

valeria was deployed to a conflict zone, she didn’t think to question orders. she simply did them, following her platoon into danger. it was then that she met a man whom she would fall in love with: jason carter. he was a complete and utter fool, probably the dumbest among men as vale would have said with an eye roll. he got on her nerves for the longest time, though during their time in the conflict zone together she learnt more about him, a side he didn’t show as much, and fell hard and fast.

*TW BOMB & DEATH MENTION*

after a year and a half they married, promises were made of settling down in the countryside together. they became each other’s solace in the messy world that they lived in. someone that vale could turn to, when she had already turned her back on her family. then, they were deployed on yet another tour. jason was in the car before her, perhaps they didn’t see it– vale could not make sense of the events that came to happen. there was a blast, a road side bomb went off. the car toppled over, and no man left behind was quickly forgotten as complete chaos unleashed itself.

her husband was dead. and she would never be able to tell him that she loved him again. she would never be able to feel his gentle touch on her skin, see his gleaming smile at first light, or press a kiss to his lips. he was dead.

*TW END*

her life was never the same again. returning from that tour was harder than any other before. she couldn’t even bring herself to step foot into her own house, haunted by the ghosts that still lived there. instead, she moved into the first motel she could find. she was released from duty shortly after, diagnosed with ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder) and told she would receive help for serving her country. but, the problem was there were too many soldiers, and too little help. she waited in line for an eternity, watching as her brothers and sisters fell to the bottle, drowning their traumas in booze. vowing, never to touch a bottle again.

she had her problems, and oh she had many, but she didn’t want to end up like them.

lifeless zombies. 

not quite alive, but not quite dead either.

after a while of medication and therapy she submitted her resume to the united nations peacekeeping mission, and with a stellar recommendation from her commanding officers she was accepted there. after working her way through the ranks, the woman was assigned to various conflict zones this time instilling peace rather than the organized chaos the military orchestrated. 

― 𝙁𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙎 !

valeria worked for the UN peacekeeping mission for 2 years, her military background served her well as she was sent out into various conflict zones and made overall possible due to her degree in international law. 

she was offered a position at sacred heart and chose to accept it, she’s been working there as an international human rights law professor for the past 4 months. 

her husband has been dead for years and yet she still mourns his loss. 

she lives her life by routine: waking up, having the strongest coffee she can get her hands on, smoking a cigarette out of the window, boxing, preparing for lectures in the courtyard, holding her lectures, retreating to the comfort of her home with yet another cup of coffee before marking assignments and going to sleep. 

she doesn’t have much of a life, because she’s afraid of getting attached to people again and losing them all over again. 

sleep? who that? 

she’s still suffering profoundly from her ptsd but she’s got a handle on it, and goes to her weekly sessions with the therapist never once missing an appointment. 

she’s incredibly passionate when teaching, the type of lecturer that will waltz in first class of the semester and list a bunch of things wrong in the world then turn to the class being like “does this make you angry? if you’re not angry get the hell out, because you’re clearly not in the right class.” 

her husband left her a large quantity of money, but she refuses to touch it, so it’s just sitting in a bank whilst she continues to live like she’s strapped for money. 

― 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙉𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙎 !

( these are just some ideas but feel free to hit me up with any you’d be interested in )

i. someone that keeps trying to drag her out to have a good time but she keeps saying no, slowly running out of excuses ! 

ii. a student that wasn’t too fond of the class at first but actually loves it now that she’s the teacher. 

iii. a confidant. 

iv. they often run into each other in the courtyard, don’t really talk much but the other’s company is the norm when she’s working on lecture notes. (can be teacher or student, maybe they see each other so often there that it’s weird when the other isn’t there at the usual time?) 

v. someone she met when she first arrived that showed her around. 

vi. friends from uni (they would know a very different valeria than the woman she has become nowadays). 

vii. someone that reminds her of her brother? they’re like family but not really. 

viii. frenemies

ix. they just really don’t like each other. 

x. a student that had to take her class but slacks about and she’s having none of it. 

xi. one night stand (let me make her feel guilty as shit hehe) 

xii. flirtationship 

xiii. they just roast each other a lot? full on banter where neither has to hold back from stepping over a line. 

xiv. boxing sparring buddy. 

[southside-vixen]

Fire and Ice (Sweet Pea) 7

Chapter 7. Tequila, Hold the Worm

AO3

Adrianna Rivera has just made a difficult move from Arizona to the southside of Riverdale. With the history of her life in Phoenix behind her will she be able to find a new family in the Southside Serpents? Or will a certain tall, dark, and rage inducing Serpent cause issues?

Ness made the trade off for the Serpent kids that night, it seemed the snake charmer made good on her promise. However, just as soon as her friends arrived they all left with Ness for a Serpent Summit. Since Adria wasn’t a Serpent, and she wasn’t working, she therefore wasn’t invited.

The minutes ticked by like hours as she waited for Ness and Toni to get back. First she tried watching TV, then reading a magazine, then in an act of desperation doing sit ups. Nothing helped. It was after midnight by the time Ness and Toni got back. Ness collapsed on the couch as Toni went and took a shower. Adria stared at her aunt waiting for some sort of news.

“Yes, Adrianna?” Ness rubbed her temples, sinking further into the cushions.

“Are you not going to tell me what happened?” She sat expectantly, hating being left out of the loop. Ness didn’t have an issue telling her issues with the gang before so it seemed odd that she would start now.

“Ask Toni. I’ve had enough Serpent business for the night.” She sighed again “I’m sorry Adria, I just need to sleep.” Ness left for her room leaving Adria standing in the living room, waiting for Toni. Clearly something had gone on if Ness was already this tired.

When Toni stepped out of the bathroom Adria was already buzzing around her, nosy as ever, prodding for information about the meeting she missed out on.

“Will you let me put clothes on first?” Toni groaned, going through the dresser for a shirt and shorts. “You have no chill.”

“I get that a lot.” Adria replied, taking a seat on her bed. She impatiently waited as Toni got dressed before she stared expectantly again “Toni, come on this is killing me.”

“Christ, Ads. It’s not as exciting as you want to think.” Toni grabbed a brush to run through her hair, not bothering to look in Adria’s direction “Jughead went with Tall Boy to try to deal with the Ghoulie issue. Jughead decided on a car race next weekend.”

“Jughead decided to deal with the Ghoulies a la Fast and Furious street race? And you tell me nothing exciting happened?” Adria started intently at her foster sister/ friend “What is exciting to you?”

Toni didn’t say anything for a moment, trying to think of would actually excite her after all the shit the Serpents put her through “Winning the lottery.” She shrugged.

-------------------------

The days counted down until the big race as Jughead kept disappearing to his ex-girlfriend to work on the race car. Toni made a comment before about how Betty didn’t seem the mechanic type, not like Adria would know as she never formally met her. School had quieted down after the raid, although it was clear both the Serpents and the Ghoulies were on edge.

The morning of the race Adria was destroying her closet trying to find something to wear. What does one wear to a street race? She scoured the internet trying to find anything helpful before finally consulting Toni. Who was equally not helpful.

“Just wear what you usually do” She replied

It didn’t matter what Adria wore because she was told to tend the bar while every other Serpent attended the race.

“This is torture.” Adria murmured to herself, picking up another glass to clean. Sure enough there wasn’t a soul in the bar. Most of the day she sat on her phone, waiting to see if someone would post something on social media. Her FOMO kicking in hard.

The hours passed by as she passed her time doing nothing at all. She stared at the windows waiting for a motorcycle to pull up. At this rate she was so bored she would have welcomed actual customers.

Sweet Pea was the first to pull in with Toni on the back of his bike. She could see him angrily toss his helmet on the back while Toni looked like she was trying to calm him down. Adria wasn’t necessarily excited about the first person she saw being the angriest person she knew, but at least she wouldn’t be bored anymore.

“You don’t know that!” Sweet Pea ripped the door open, causing the bell on top to nearly go flying as Toni hurried in behind “He could have known the whole time which is why the sheriff got Malachai and not him.”

Sweet Pea pulled up a stool at the bar while Toni went behind it to start her shift. Just in time as the parking lot was quickly filling up with a sea of leather jackets.

“Sounds like you guys had a good time” Adria smiled and rested her elbows on the bar “Care to fill me in?”

“Jughead put us in bed with the pigs. The whole race was a sham, the sheriff was waiting at the bend to arrest the Ghoulie leader.” Pea grumbled angrily

“Sweet Pea doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Sure, Malachai got arrested but Jughead swears he didn’t know about it. His friend Archie owned up to it and if Jughead said he isn’t involved I’m inclined to believe him.” Toni argued

“You’re just backing him up because you want to fuck him” Sweet Pea didn’t bother to make eye contact but Toni at this point was fuming. Adria knew that Toni gave up on Jughead the moment she found out he wasn’t over his ex but she didn’t think she told Sweet Pea or Fangs about it.

“Just because I spend time with him” Toni started to raise her voice causing the Serpents who had just entered to stop what they were doing entirely “When the rest of you can’t be bothered does not mean I’m crawling into bed with him. He’s honest and if this were his plan he would have said something”

She slammed down the drink one on of the older Serpents ordered and collected a handful of bills to put in the till. The whole bar was silent for a minute, quite the feat for a full house. Soon enough the bar sprung back to life, trying to ignore Toni’s outburst. Sweet Pea left the bar to go find Fangs at the pool table and Toni joined Adria in hastily making drinks for the crowd.

“You good?” Adria asked when things settled down

“Yeah I’m fine. I just wish he’d think before he opens his stupid mouth” Toni eyed Sweet Pea from across the bar, a frown still apparent on her face. It wasn’t likely that she would let this one go any time soon.

“That would be terrifying” Adria laughed “At first it bothered me but now I think it’s kind of nice. I like knowing where I stand with people. Better to know that I’m not liked than have someone go behind my back.” Adria shrugged. Sure she would rather he stop giving her so much shit but at least he didn’t smile to her face and laugh at her behind her back. Unless he did. But he really didn’t seem the type.

“Is that a compliment I hear?” Toni raised an eyebrow, her frown curling upward at the corner of her mouth

“Absolutely not. Fuck that guy” Adria smiled back at her

“You wish.” Toni’s smirk turned into a full grin as Adria punched her in the arm causing her to flinch and rub the spot. “I deserved that.” The two girls both shared a bit of laughter and all was right with the world.

A few hours later the bar managed to calm down a bit and half the patrons left as they had other things to do on their weekend. Adria watched as Fangs and Sweet Pea finish up another game of pool while Toni dried glasses.

“I’ve got winner.” Adria called out across the room. It had been a while since she last played, she wondered if she would still be able to keep up. Both boys nodded at her request and returned to their concentrating, only pausing to give each other grief between shots.

Soon enough Sweet Pea came out on top, giving Fangs a friendly punch in the shoulder as the taunted him about how he won 3-1. Adria popped up from her bar stool and grabbed the pool stick from Fangs’ hand.

“Good luck” He told her “He’s on a lucky streak, it’s the only way to explain it.”

“Lucky streak?” Sweet Pea laughed as he chalked the stick “Fangs just doesn’t want to admit that I’m the better man.”

Adria shot Fangs a smile before looking back at Sweet Pea “Well then. May the best woman win.” She gave him a wink.

The game started out well enough, Adria broke and ended up with stripes. Managing to get two balls in her first turn. She and Sweet Pea kept fairly even and the number of colored balls were diminishing quickly. It seemed that lucky for her playing pool was like riding a bike. Even though it was months since her last game she picked it back up quickly. Although if she were playing her father the game would have been long over. He had years of experience and skill on her.

Finally the game had dwindled down one stipe, one solid, and the eight ball. Both Fangs and Toni were watching intently, quietly placing bets on who they thought would win.

“Let’s make this interesting.” Adria said, propping the stick up beside her, the stick almost as tall as she was. “If I win you have to bus the tables in nothing but your underwear and an apron.”

Sweet Pea raised his eyebrow “Trying to get me to strip, Princess? Deal. What’s in it for me if I win?”

“I want to see you humiliated for talking all that good shit about winning” she smiled sweetly “Name your terms.”

“Alright. Same. If I win you have to bartend in an apron and underwear. I also expect VIP service.”

Adria considered the terms and accepted. She had no intention of losing, no matter what the cost. She could hear Fangs and Toni as well as some of the other Serpents wooping in the background. Adria took a deep breath as she lined up her next shot. It wasn’t an easy shot, but it was doable. She muttered a small prayer to herself and knocked her last ball toward the side pocket.

The seconds crept by as the ball moved toward the pocket, only to be knocked out of the way by the very corner of it.

“¡No Mames!” Adria yelled involuntarily. Sweet Pea immediately laughed

“So do you want to start stripping now or do you want to watch me sink these two first?” He immediately lined up his shot and sunk his last solid ball in. All that was left was the eight ball, but the game wasn’t over just yet.

“Call it.” Adria demanded

“Eight ball, corner pocket.” He tapped the pocket with his stick before chalking up one last time. Just then Adria had an idea. A brilliant one at that.

She waited until he was lining up his shot before groaning loudly trying to get his attention while she unclipped her bra from underneath her shirt. Using her feminine magic she managed to wiggle her arms out from the straps and remove it while never taking her shirt off.

She casually shoved it in her back pocket while rolling her shoulders a bit “Much better. That was just so uncomfortable” She was milking this stunt for all it was worth as it was her final shot at a distraction.

Sweet Pea’s mouth dropped open ever so slightly as he took the shot. Once the cue ball was rolling he realized it was too late. He took his eyes off Adria to see the cue ball spin sideways into the side pocket. Adria was doing her best to suppress a laugh, but Toni and Fangs were already in hysterics.

“Oof.” She smiled “A scratch on the last shot? Automatic loss.” Toni threw Adria an apron which she in turn handed to Sweet Pea “Better get stripping.”

“You fucking cheated!” he yelled “You distracted me on my last shot!”

“I did no such thing. It’s not my fault you were watching me, the straps were digging into my arms.” She made a show of rubbing her shoulders

“Fangs! Help me out here”

“Dude, not her fault you’re distracted by boobs.” He shrugged “It’s not like she was waving her hand in front of your face.”

“Don’t be a sore loser, Pea. Those tables aren’t going to bus themselves.” Toni added, smiling from the bar.

“Fucking. Fine. I’ll honor the deal.” He slid his jacket off onto the chair behind him and began unbuttoning his shirt “But everyone here knows you cheated. They’re all just enjoying this at my expense.” He made the last bit a little louder.

Adria sat herself on a barstool next to Fangs, high fiving as they watching Sweet Pea strip down to his boxers and tie an apron around his hips.

“Hope you’re enjoying the view, Princess.” Sweet Pea taunted as he began to wipe down tables “As you had to cheat to get it.”

“Someone really doesn’t like losing.” She muttered to Fangs, both laughing as he made his way around the bar, cleaning all the tables. Some over the Serpents even going as far as sticking dollar bills into the waist band of his boxers. It seemed like with this as entertainment just about everyone forgot about the events of the race. If even for a moment.

-----------------------

A few days after the race things were already calming down. Lucky for Sweet Pea everyone finally stopped teasing him about his strip tease at the Wyrm. Although a good portion of them had pictures saved on their phone for blackmail.

News was circulating that the leader of the Serpents, FP, was getting out of prison that weekend and that Jughead and his ex-turned not ex-girlfriend were throwing a retirement party at the Wyrm.

“I can’t believe the first time I’ll meet FP will be the day he retires” Adria said, poking at her salad at lunch “Who do you think will take over?”

“Hopefully not Tall Boy. He’s been awful since FP was put away.” Toni scrolled through her phone, looking at different photographers’ work on instragram. “I’m just going for Sweet Pea and Fangs to get drunk enough to sing some lovey dovey duet together.”

Right. Toni mentioned Uptown Betty even rented a karaoke machine which seemed a bit out of place at a biker bar in her opinion. Then again what did she know.

Sweet Pea slung his arm around Fangs “You’re just jealous of our love, Topaz.” He and Fangs gazed longingly into each other’s eyes before the both of them broke away laughing

“Little known fact, Ads. Pea and I are kings of karaoke.” Fangs told her “Are you going to sing something?”

“Get me drunk enough and I do a lot of things I don’t expect to be doing.” She replied

“Point taken. We’ll make sure you’re taken care of then” He gave her a wink

And sure enough they did.

FP hadn’t even arrived yet and Adria was already drunk. Fangs and Toni had been indulging her with group tequila shots while Sweet Pea opted to just stick to beer.

“Did you see Alice Cooper?” Toni asked the group “She may be Serpent enemy number one but she looks hot.”

“Oooh” Fangs slurred “Looks like Toni is into older women” they all laughed as Toni rolled her eyes

“Listen. I’m just being honest.” She raised her glass as she took another shot. The other two followed. She wasn’t exactly wrong. She had never seen Betty’s mom before but she was definitely pretty. Adria leaned up against the bar and looked at around the crowd. Sweet Pea was off in a corner being hit on by two of the younger Serpents from school. Fangs disappeared somewhere when she wasn’t paying attention and Toni was eyeing Jughead with Betty.

“Everything okay?” Adria leaned over and asked into her ear

“Yeah.” She nodded “It’s just weird seeing them together. I would have imagined him with a goth girl.” Adria nodded as well. She didn’t know much about Betty aside from what Toni told her. Just looking at them they looked like something out of Grease. Like Danny Zuko standing with Sandy.

Fangs reappeared not too long after to pull Adria away “I signed Pea and I up for Time of My Life and now it’s your turn to pick something.”

She leafed through the giant book of different karaoke songs, looking for anything Spanish.

“The only latino song you have is Despacito? With Justin Bieber?” She groaned after searching the book at least twice. “Whatever. I’ll make it work. Fangs I need more to drink if I’m going to do this.”

Fangs, who didn’t need any other excuse to get his friend wasted was on it “I can go all night with these shots.”

An hour or so later Adria watched from the back of the bar, laughing while Sweet Pea and Fangs crooned at each other with microphones in their hands. They were definitely entertaining up on stage. Overdramatically singing each line of their chosen duet. Before long their song ended and the deejay announced that Adria was up next.

She weaved through the crowd, occasionally using someone to keep herself going in a semi-straight line. She needed every ounce of her drunken confidence to push herself up on stage. She climbed the stairs and took a microphone from Fangs as he and Sweet Pea situated themselves at the front of the crowd, Toni soon joining them.

“Ahem. Toni Topaz this one’s for you.” She winked at her and blew her a small kiss before the music began. The lyrics for the remix came onto the screen, and she quickly ignored every single one in favor of the original.

“Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote. Tengo que bailar contigo hoy” She was pitchy, and slurring but she would make this a performance to remember. She kept singing as Fangs was burst out laughing. She was glad at least one of them spoke Spanish to know how completely ridiculous she was being. It wasn’t long before he pulled out his phone and handed it to Toni who was then laughing and shaking her head. He must have given her the translation.

After she finished she took a bow and handed back the microphone, falling in with her friends. Toni was still laughing as she pushed Adria in the shoulder, nearly causing her to stumble and fall over even though there was hardly any force behind it.

“Pervert.” She smiled at her friend

“That was great, Ads” Fangs laughed as well. Sweet Pea, although he didn’t say anything, just smiled and shook his head. Soon enough Toni disappeared to help behind the bar and Fangs had moved across the room to flirt with some girl.

The next duo up for karaoke was all too familiar. Adria didn’t recognize the girl, but the red head-Archie- she recognized immediately as the one who chased them off with a gun at the bodega. Adria immediately looked up at Sweet Pea who stared at the boy instead of doing anything. She was thankful they were tucked at the back of the room behind a crowd.

The two weren’t bad signers by any means but their performance was beyond awkward. Not only was their song depressing and not fit for the mood at all, but soon the brunette girl ran off. Archie quickly dropped his mic and ran out the door after her. The crowd was only able to boo for a moment before Jughead’s girlfriend Betty took the stage and picked up where they left off.

‘Perfect song for her. Boring.’ Adria thought to herself as she rolled her eyes. She could barely see the stage behind a sea of taller Serpents but she immediately saw Betty move to unbutton her top. Adria looked around in disbelief as she threw it off to the side and moved to her skirt. Everyone’s eyes were fixed on the stage so clearly she wasn’t hallucinating the situation.

When she looked back at the stage Betty was in black lingerie, trying to look sexy against the pole when she clearly had no experience.

To her surprise she heard Sweet Pea whistle from next to her. She looked up at him in shock as his face was covered in a smirk

“Hey!” She yelled at him “That’s Jughead’s girlfriend, you pervert. Cover your eyes!”

He tilted his head “What are you going to do? Make me? You can’t even reach.”

Adria’s eyes filled with drunken determination. She looked around and noticed a bar height chair behind them which she pulled up next to Sweet Pea and climbed on. Now being a head or so taller than him she leaned over to try to cover his eyes as he attempted to swat her away.

In an event everyone around them saw coming, drunk Adria lost her balance and fell off the chair. Falling right into Sweet Pea. She let out a small shriek as he took as he took a couple steps back to steady himself.

“That’s it. I’m taking you home.” He groaned, keeping his arms around her shoulders to make sure she was steady

“What? No! I’m having fun.” Adria protested, trying to wiggle free and failing miserably.

“I promised Fangs I would babysit you while he went off with some girl. You’re drunk. We’re taking you home.”

“I don’t need a babysitter!” She shouted at him

“I didn’t want to have to do this.” He shrugged. He picked her up with ease and slung her over his shoulder, causing her to yell again. She pounded against his back trying to get him to let her go, not thinking that she’d most likely fall on her face if he did.

The crowd cleared around them, not wanting to be hit with a rogue fist to the face as the two exited the bar. Outside, Sweet Pea set her down as they reached his bike and handed her a helmet.

“Hop on.” Adria rolled her eyes as she snatched the helmet from his hand and jumped on behind him. She held onto his waist as tight as she possibly could, determined to make him uncomfortable. Her own small protest from being dragged from the party.

------------------------------

When they reached her trailer, Sweet Pea walked her inside and sat on the couch. Adria stared down at him, confusion running through her brain.

“Aren’t you going to leave?” She asked, still standing across the room

“I’m here to make sure you don’t die in your sleep.”

“I’m not even tired. It’s only midnight. Go home Sweet Pea, I’m just going to watch TV.”

“I promised Fangs. Who promised Toni. I’m not leaving so get used to it.”

Adria groaned as she threw herself onto the couch next to him. Staring him down while he refused to remove his eyes from the TV. The two sat in silence, the sound of infomercials and old cartoons filling the room.

“Why won’t you look at me?” She asked, breaking the long silence

“Because I’m watching TV.” Sweet Pea replied simply

“Bullshit you are. Without looking at the guide tell me what this episode is about.” In between infomercials had been shitty re-runs of family guy. The current episode being something about the main guy making his house its own country.

“Something about how much he hates his daughter.” He pulled off the top of his head

“Wrong!” She made a buzzer noise at him “I knew you weren’t paying attention.”

“Like you are? You’ve been staring at me since I sat down.” He still hadn’t bothered to look at her, keeping his eyes glued to the TV.

“Am I bothering you?” She goaded “How about…Now?” Adria positioned herself from sitting next to him to straddling his lap. She continued to stare at him, trying to egg out a reaction only to have him look avert his eyes to the window.

“Get off.” He murmured, still refusing to look her in the eye “You’re annoying.”

“Not until you look at me.” She insisted “Look at me and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Fuck…fine.” He begrudgingly brought his eyes to hers, for once having to look up instead of down. “Are you happy now?”

Adria blinked and moved back, giving him more room. She looked up for a moment in thought before bringing her eyes back down to his “No.” her voice sounded jovial before but now it seemed to lose its light. She gently pushed a strand of his hair behind his ear and stood up. “I guess I’m not.”

Sweet Pea sat confused by the sudden turn of events, he expected her to keep tormenting him as a form of amusement until someone came and relived him of babysitting duty. But she just…stopped. He watched as she straightened herself out and pulled her hair into a ponytail. It was like a switch flipped and she was sober, serious.  

“Good Night, Sweet Pea.” Was all she said as the door to her room shut behind her. Sweet Pea didn’t hear anything else come from the room until he left.

[freenewstoday]

New Post has been published on https://freenews.today/2021/03/06/how-democrats-miscalculated-manchin-and-later-won-him-back/

How Democrats miscalculated Manchin and later won him back

Manchin told colleagues he knew nothing about that tax provision. Yet Democratic leaders thought that Manchin was on board since their rank-and-file senators had reached out to him and reported back to party bosses that he was with them. They’d told the White House things were in good shape.

But Manchin was not on board, making clear he was not going to be jammed by his party leaders into accepting something he didn’t like, according to sources who talked him, underscoring the power of an individual senator to derail the new President’s agenda in the 50-50 Senate.

Asked why Democratic leaders’ dispute with Manchin wasn’t resolved ahead of time, Michigan Sen. Debbie Stabenow said Saturday: “We thought it was.”

The resulting confusion and chaos — and miscommunication between Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and his most important swing vote — put Washington on edge, threatened to blow up a delicately negotiated compromise and forced Democrats to leave a vote open longer than any in modern history — nearly 12 hours — as they engaged in a furious lobbying campaign and horse-trading to get Manchin on board.

Privately, about half a dozen Democratic senators were engaged in constant discussions with Manchin, hoping to find a way to win him back — all as Ohio Republican Sen. Rob Portman was speaking with Manchin multiple times an hour about his own alternative that Manchin supported but that Democratic leaders wanted to defeat.

“I was trying to be the catcher in the rye. I was trying to keep him talking to the leadership,” said Sen. Angus King, an independent from Maine who said he was speaking with Manchin “constantly” on Friday. “My goal was to keep him talking and not let it fall apart.”

For Biden, though, the approach amounted to a soft-sell. He was deliberately careful not to add pressure to the situation, instead choosing to give Manchin space and listen to his concerns, a source with knowledge of the discussion said. But Biden did underscore one overarching point: how crucial it was to reach an agreement to get the bill toward the finish line given the urgency of the current economic and public health crisis. Manchin, two sources said, was urged by the President to do what he thought was right — in essence to vote his conscience.

It was a reflection of a relationship that multiple sources said has been in a solid place since Biden took office — Manchin of the mind that Biden is an honest broker, and Biden cognizant of the fact Manchin is his own senator and doesn’t take kindly to being jammed.

Manchin, who characterized his Friday conversation with Biden as “good,” said Saturday the talks “took longer than it should have.” But he added: “We got it done, and we got a better deal.”

“Let’s just say we had some projects that lasted 12 hours,” said Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin. “It took a little longer than we thought.

Manchin had privately signed off on GOP plan

Days prior, Manchin had committed to backing an alternative plan by Portman, who proposed extending jobless benefits to $300 a week through July, reducing the benefit by $100 in the bill that passed the House.

But Democrats, fearful that the Portman plan would pass, worked privately behind the scenes to move forward with their own proposal to head off the Portman plan. The new Democratic plan would also reduce the benefits to $300 but extend them through September. And in order to head off backlash from the left by simply slashing back on the benefits, they added a sweetener: Ensuring that the first $10,200 would not be taxed.

By mid-morning Friday, Democratic leaders were feeling confident with where they were heading. They believed Manchin had signed off on the proposal, after his conversations with a fellow swing vote, Democratic Sen. Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona, and Delaware Sen. Tom Carper, the lead sponsor of the plan. But Manchin said Friday morning he had no knowledge of the tax provision. It’s unclear how the message was lost in translation.

“I never heard about this at all. This is the first time I’ve ever heard about it, that morning. I said, ‘Wait a minute,'” Manchin told reporters Saturday about the provision.

And he bluntly told his colleagues Friday he would not vote for the plan unless there were changes, prompting a day-long lobbying effort and leaving many of his colleagues perplexed.

Asked by CNN why he didn’t resolve his differences with Manchin on the front-end, Schumer suggested he was surprised by the pushback by his West Virginia colleague.

“People have new differences all the time,” Schumer said Saturday after the bill’s passage. He added: “That eight hours is meaningless compared to the relief that the American people are going to get. And if it helped us get to that, great.”

The failure to sort out their differences on the front-end surprised many Democrats because the two men have a frank and blunt relationship.

“I truly love all of my caucus,” Schumer said. Even Manchin? “Yes. Absolutely,” the New York Democrat said.

But many were nervous that the whole effort could collapse.

On Friday as Schumer, Carper and others were scrambling to fix the Manchin problem, Carper sat alone on a couch in the private Senate foyer. He was hunched over with his head almost between his knees and a phone held tightly to his ear. He looked both pained by what was happening and intent on fixing it. He later told a Republican colleague things were looking grim.

“We’re stuck,” Carper told Cornyn in the halls of the Senate.

“It was frustrating,” Stabenow said when asked about the nearly 12 hours that the Senate was in gridlock. “We were trying to figure a way forward, which we did. I always felt that was possible. I always felt we would.”

Day-long horsetrading and arm-twisting

Manchin and Democratic leaders were frantically trading proposals back and forth, multiple sources familiar with the talks said. Manchin, according to one source familiar with the matter, wanted the amendment broken up into two so that the Senate could vote separately on the weekly unemployment benefit of $300 and the tax-free component.

Without the two items packaged together, however, Democratic leaders knew the tax-free piece would fail. Leadership tried to impress upon Manchin multiple times that what the senior senator from West Virginia was asking for would not pass the House, where Speaker Nancy Pelosi had her own narrow margin and a group of progressives was already upset that the $15 minimum wage had been stripped from the Senate bill.

“It was pretty clear that there was an enormous amount of pressure,” said South Dakota Sen. John Thune, the No. 2 Republican. “In a situation in the Senate with narrow margins, every man is a king and every woman is a queen.”

The White House was involved and consulted throughout, with officials working through the numbers of the various proposals that were traded back and forth, officials said. But they were also aware that this was a matter being negotiated by key Senate Democrats — and made a point of being available, but not overbearing, the officials said. Biden was available, but would only end up making one call to Manchin. He did, however, stay in touch with Schumer throughout.

A senior administration official specifically pointed to Carper and Sens. Ron Wyden of Oregon, Jon Tester of Montana and Mark Warner of Virginia, along with Schumer, as individuals who “deserve a huge amount of credit” for working through the final compromise.

The primary focus for the White House throughout the hours of talks was ensuring any agreement did not change the overall contours of the rescue plan, the official said. That baseline, which was the driving force for the creation of the plan itself, was ensuring the help “goes to the people who really need the help and being realistic about how long it will take the economy to recover,” the official said.

The final agreement with Manchin, White House officials determined, would still accomplish those goals. Biden agreed.

“The end result is essentially about the same, and so I don’t think any of the compromises have in any way fundamentally altered the essence of what I put in the bill in the first place,” Biden told reporters Saturday after the vote.

Ultimately, they all signed off on a plan to cap the eligibility of the non-taxable component to households with an annual income under $150,000 and extend the $300 in weekly benefits until September 6.

After the deal was struck, senators were ready to vote. But it wasn’t until an hour before midnight when the Senate would begin voting in earnest on the flood of amendments that Republicans proposed, forcing senators to pull an all-nighter as Democrats rejected GOP calls to adjourn until Saturday morning.

Sen. Jim Inhofe, an 86-year-old Oklahoma Republican who told CNN he suffered a concussion in the last week after falling on ice, said he stayed up all night until the final vote to pass the bill shortly after noon on Saturday. But it wasn’t easy.

“It made for a very difficult night,” Inhofe said of his concussion.

On Saturday, as they were waiting for the final passage vote to start, Manchin walked all the way over to Portman’s desk and the two talked for several minutes in a very friendly and animated way.

As Manchin was about to leave they gave a little bit of a Covid-inspired hug, shoving their shoulders together, and Portman very quickly put his arm around Manchin’s back.

Asked about the exchange later, Portman said: “We have to continue to work together and I appreciate that he kept his word and stuck to my proposal even though he was strongly persuaded not to. I looked at him one point like 12 hours ago and said, ‘Joe, your arm looks kind of mangled. Was it twisted?'”

Source

[zward95]

11/16/2020

Don Otto Ward Jr. AKA Donnie Baseball

1/11/1970 - 11/15/2020

“He will be cremated and scattered everywhere that I know was special to him. From the pitcher's mound at Morton to Hohokam park in Arizona where he played in the adult world series. And some will be left with his mom and dad....not sure the full details. He failed to stop at a stop sign and was hit. They're doing an autopsy to see if maybe he had a heart attack or something” Bobbi-Jo Ward-Herron.”

I can’t believe that you passed away… there is so much I want to say but idk if anything needs to be said. This grief has been different than anything I have experienced before….. There is so much hurt, and sadness for what never was……...I feel guilty and stupid for having good memories of you, because of all that you did… but it is not my duty to tarnish your reputation in the eyes of others, because you did a lot of good. By the ENORMOUS outpouring of care, that part is obvious. You touched the lives of hundreds upon hundreds of people in positive ways. You were the best coach that hundreds of kids ever experienced, you invited everyone in the community over as if they were family. You were willing to learn how to play chess from a 3rd grader and looking on the internet, so their elementary school could have a good coach. You were supportive of all the different things we did; even if you didn’t understand it, you tried. You were known as the best umpire and the human rulebook by friends and angry fans alike. You took pride in your work, and more pride in the fun you could have while doing it. You loved wildly and exuberantly and expressed it with your time, and with your many...many...words. You showed that it was okay to have many facets: band, science, math, sports, emotions, reading, fantasy, D&D, dirt, cars, tools, dogs, food. You showed the importance in questioning things around you, and how important it is to search for your own answers. That it's better to be wrong about something, because then you learned something. You also beat and traumatized your children, would beat and dehumanize other people to let out your aggression, neglected the wishes of your family, chose drugs and freedom over your children, and showed the dangers of utter selfishness. All of these things are true, for your mixed up, funny, dark, drug rampit, baseball loving life. You actively strived to be the biggest asshole in the room, but also be the funniest guy in the room, so everyone would still want you around. You were so socially skilled that you could both bring out the best and the worst of everyone in a room depending on your mood, yet so awkward, you intentionally ignored your impact on the people around you, as to dodge responsibility.

All the happy loving messages from people are nice, and they are just trying to share in the grief and express their sympathies; but they have made me angry at times. Angry for Matt, who has to see all these people with great memories of you caring and showing love and him never getting to have it. Anger for all the times I was held by the throat and slapped for sobbing, which only made it worse. Anger for all the verbal and psychological torment you put upon me and Chris. Anger for the neglect Matt felt. I haven’t put that to words before but that’s what he is feeling…. Because he was never able to see that great person that is held in the social consciousness of sooooo many people… We only have the guy who would brag about his sex parties to his children, that brought criminals and druggies into his family home and got our house robbed because of his negligence, who cussed out all three of his children, said he didn’t give a shit about them and just would rather not be a dad. Stuck with the memories of me spending weekend after weekend driving back to Hammond to try and protect my family from my dad. He was the guy who, post the divorce, my only contact was to get weed; because I am broke and dealing with my health issues, and he had the best prices. There is so much anger there, because for all the happy stories, he kind of mentally broke us all, and none of us were given that closure. Matt specifically, because he had always held on to the hope that he would one day be able to experience the kind father that so many people say existed at one time.

But for me, beneath all that active anger is a true sadness. Growing up you were my best friend for a long time, as my dad, my coach in EVERYTHING, and I can say now also as my abuser. I think we need to see all the good and bad together and it's okay to acknowledge all the good. He was a great coach that invested greatly in the children of the community. He actively tried to bring everyone into the fold of what we called family. He is the reason I have such a love for debate, because I spent most of my childhood figuring out how to form a good argument, and how to defend that position quickly, because otherwise you would get steamrolled by the personality and the continuous firehose of words that constantly flowed from his endlessly moving lips. He showed me that in order to adapt and work with everyone, it is best to be a jack of all trades so you can help everyone. He loved sports and fixing things and shaped my sense of humor. All three of us siblings have the same eating habits as him, which is one thing I would argue he was right about. He showed that life can be fun, while you are still taking care of business.

He was the Dad to all the kids in the neighborhood who did not have a father figure who was around, and I think that is why it is so hard for us, all of us, because he did all that… and then he didn’t…..

And it hurts to know that it just all fell away, and there is no changing that. It is a little hard for all of us, because IDK if I ever wanted to be friends with him again, but DAMMIT I WANTED TO PUNCH HIM ONE MORE TIME lmao. He would have laughed at that, and happily taken an assbeating if it meant we forgave him though……. Idk if that's true... But he said it before and I kind of believed it….

I truly believe that my father could have been better had he not intentionally thrown caution to the wind when it came to mental health and preventative care. When he started going to therapy, he then would come back from therapy and tell me how great it was to talk with a sexy woman, and that he was really thinking he could just turn those into sex visits. I was frustrated to hear that, because it meant that he did not want to follow through. And the horrible moments when he confirmed that he achieved his goals. He knew his own issues, but thought it easier to highlight everyone else’s issues, instead of address his own. He felt that he could not change, and he was who he was, so he might as well drag everyone down with him, and laugh on the way down….. That’s the sad part of it all.. None of us brothers were surprised to hear he passed. We each had different theories of how it might happen, and during darker moments how we really really hoped it would happen, and would make sure it did if there was uncertainty. It just feels sad, because all the anger comes from experience and wanting the craziness to stop, not from a personal hate, but from watching him change and hurt people. We all had wanted him to keep getting help and to try and address the anger, rage, sadness, anxiety, and self-defeating thoughts that ate him up, and came out in those bouts of fury. And, to some extent, I think all of us held on to the hope that it would still happen, that he would apologize and there would be a big fallout, and then years later he would show up at the parties with Bobbi after getting over being shunned for his dick move; or he might actively come to apologize and make amends, because we had all shut him out due to caution from being burned previously… and none of that happened… and that is sad… because I know it hurt him.

Death and Grief makes me think of theatre and the idea of comedy/tragedy. All the different emotions flying around at the same time: happy, fury, hate, contentment, laughter, sadness, disgust, disrespect, anger, love, melancholy, wistfulness, and all of them are there. The tragedy is that this all happened, that the issues weren’t resolved, that my father is passed and we are left having to deal with all the good and the bad that he did in the world, without a person for whom to direct our feelings. We all just get to sit and deal with our shit. But One thing I do know is that Donnie Baseball loves a good joke. He told them endlessly to anyone who would listen, and whether anyone laughed, or if it was a good joke, made no matter as to whether he enjoyed it. So I know there is comedic spin to it, one that my brother Matt pointed out. He now has to answer to his Mom and Dad, Nana Viv & Bonka Don, for all his bad behavior. And I can only imagine their response when they hear what he did to their house, and to their grandchildren. lol

RIP Donnie Baseball - but I know Viv won’t give you any peace for a while still.

11/17/2020

“He died of blunt force trauma. He either fell asleep or was choking on his chew and morning phlegm and went into the drainage ditch at about 50. He didn't suffer. But if he'd been wearing his seatbelt he'd still be here. Just broken.”

“Well he's had 5 seatbelt tickets in the 5 years we've been together. There's definitely a pattern there” Bobbi-Jo

It is incredible, even to the very end just swimming in irony. He spent his life trying to teach others how to live better, and was the best coach, yet died because he wouldn’t take his own advice. Just buckle your seatbelt. Likely still stoned, waking up in the morning, enjoying his chew, he passed away painlessly. Everyone is sad by this because it is not the death anyone felt he deserved, yet it is pretty much exactly what he wanted. He had talked to me about driving off a bridge and ending it painlessly, and doing something he loved and he did just that.

There is still a lot of anger for Bobbi within me. I know there is more within my brothers because they saw the actual actions and impact she had on him. And yet, She is broken and sad now. They were toxic and not great people, yet they made eachother happy, and were willing to work toward each other's happiness with a desire to understand. I don’t think I can say they were an ideal pair, or they were good for eachother, but they loved each other. They each knew love within the other. And it is sad to watch someone lose their lover. And I am glad that there is someone who will mourn and grieve him like he should, and to direct that process of dropping off his ashes, but damn… But that anger again comes from the desire for him to change, and the childish notion that “she changed him” which I know to be wrong and not how things work. Now it is just a process of trying to move forward. She still had a strong hand in the collapse of our family system, but that was instigated by him; and she did try to show love and affection to us, to an extent. She doesn’t deserve the anger…. She is a sad woman whose lover has passed away….

Everything is crazy, I am both happy and sad that you are gone. I am thankful you didn’t hurt, yet I still wish you could appreciate the hurt you caused. You taught innumerable life lessons to likely thousands of kids by modeling both what you should, and what you shouldn’t, do at different times... Our biggest arguments would fall back to the idea of living in a world of black and white, right and wrong, as to living in a world of gray. I argued that there was no completely good or bad, no complete right or wrong and you’d disagreed. You were very binary in your beliefs, this or that, one or the other, which is utterly baffling, considering that you LIVED in the gray area. So here we are, left living in this world and having to acknowledge all the different shades of black and white within your life. And for me, idk if I can call any of it good or bad anymore….And I wish I wasn’t right…. But this world of gray is important, and just because it's a gray world does not mean we won’t enjoy it.

[chicagolove88]

Happens Like That- Michael Latta Imagine

“Ever wonder how just one drink

Turns into one knee down with a diamond ring

It happens like that

Outta the blue sky, lost in her blue eyes

Yeah, when it happens like that

Nothing to lose turns right into you

Doing all you can do just to keep her around

Till the moon goes down and you're back at your house

One thing leads to another, you're loving each other

One look and you never look back

It happens like that

You order a drink, it goes down smooth

Before you can blink, it turns into two”  Happens Like That by Granger Smith

Word Count: 2391 sorry it’s really long

Warnings: None. This is literally all fluff. So much fluff. Flashbacks are in italics. It is my first writing so please be nice to me lol ALSO STILL IN DENIAL THAT BROBEANS BROKE UP SO I REUNITED THEM OK BYE

Michael was nervous. Hell he hadn’t even been this nervous the night that he played in his first NHL game. He looked down at the box he had in his hand that held that simple sapphire and diamond engagement ring. He knew that you would love it. He made double sure of it by having your best friend send you the picture of the ring that you told her you always wanted. He smiled a little bit at the fact that he knew this ring was so you. You always said that you wanted something different where a diamond wasn't the main stone. This is why he loved you, always being your own person. He was going to ask you to be his forever tonight and he couldn’t wait to do this. Between the decision to come to Arizona, the long distance, and finally getting you back in his arms when you moved here, it had been a whirlwind year. You had been nothing but supportive from the time you got together to now. You were ready to follow him wherever hockey took him. He knew for a while that you had been the one but these last couple months have solidified it. It had been so hard to try and plan this behind your back without you figuring out what was happening. He picked the ring up and smiled at it, thinking about the first time that he met you.

You two had met a little over a year ago, right after he got traded to Rockford. It had been one whirlwind of a year between the decision to go to Arizona, the long distance, and eventually you moving to Arizona to be with him. It all started on team bonding night out. Michael was trying to meet the new team and form bonds that would lead to chemistry on the ice that would hopefully lead to a shot of being pulled back up to the big league. His mood was still down from being traded away from Washington and then from Ontario. Michael missed Andre,Tom,and their apartment. He missed their lazy days on the couch and watching their guilty pleasure of the Bachelor. He agreed to go into the city with some of the guys from the team for a night out because what is a better way to bond with some guys than going out and doing some shots. At third bar that they had went to, Michael was finally feeling like he was back in his element with friends and the dreary mood that always seemed to be lurking around was pretty much non-existent at this point. Every bar that they went into, it seemed like someone knew one of the guys that he was with, mainly Vinnie Hinostroza. Michael learned that night that Vinnie was from the area, which made sense to him, everybody loves the hometown kid. Michael was talking to Tyler Motte when he locked eyes on you. You were following behind your best friend and were heading right in his direction. He kept looking down and trying to look at Motte so he wouldn’t be caught staring at you if you looked up. He looked back up at you and you and your best friend had literally stopped right in front of the group and in his head he just kept trying to figure out what he was going to say to you. He breathed a sigh of relief when the guy talking to Vinnie put his hand around your best friends waist pulling her in closer to him. You stood there with y/h/c in soft curls framing your face with black over the knee boots and a maroon sweater dress on. He wanted to tell you how pretty you looked, but he thought that it would be too cliche. Vinnie grabbed him by the arm and pulled you over towards the group. “Guys this is Michael just got traded here. Comeon I’ll introduce you to the rest of the boys.” You just rolled your eyes as Vinnie walks away and touch Michaels arm softly saying at the same time “my name's y/n by the way”.

As the night wore on you continued to talk to him and stood toe to toe with him at every sarcastic comment that he would make to any of the boys. He watched as your eyes would light up everytime that you would laugh at something. There was a twinkle in them that showed him that there was a little bit of wild streak in you. At some point, you and your best friend went out to the dance floor to dance to some Chance the Rapper song that your best friend insisted that she loved. He watched you shake your hips and laugh as you and your best friend danced with each other. He heard your best friends boyfriend say “oh hell no” and looked up to see two guys trying to grind up on both of you even though you both kept pushing them away. Your best friends boyfriend stalked over there and Michael was following him over there before he even knew what he was doing. As soon as he approached, he saw the guy try and grab you again as you slapped his hand away and instinctively, he reached out and grabbed you by the waist pulling you close to him glaring at the guy. The guy looked at him and just said “Sorry dude, didn’t know she was taken. My bad”. He stared at the guy until he walked away and looked down at you. Michael was just about to ask you if you were ok when you looked up at him and said “Thank you, but I am quite capable of taking care of that myself.” Michael remembers just opening his mouth to say something but nothing quite coming out in response. He just stared at you. You weren’t quite like every girl he met before. You seemed strong willed and he knew for a fact you were too sassy for your own good. He had never met a girl quite like you. All he could respond to you was “well at least dance with me for the rest of the time to keep creepy guys away from you” as you turned to walk to the bar. You smirked over your shoulder at him and said “what qualifies you as not creepy Latta?” as you lean against the bar. He came up behind you and said quietly ”Trust me I’m not but let me show you” causing you to smirk again. That smirk was the moment that he was a goner. He knew you were too good for him but damned if he tried to get you. You grabbed his arm and lead him to the dance floor again where everyone was. He couldn’t remember what the song was that was on when you came over and grabbed the back of his neck and started grinding your hips slowly into him. You looked up at him and smiled. He didn’t care and he could have stayed in that moment forever.  

Michael was still daydreaming in the moment when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Tom standing there and soon pulled him into a hug. As they were hugging Tom said “I can see by the look on your face that I don’t need to ask if your nervous. Bro you’re going to be fine. She loves you so much and I know she’s going to say yes”. Michael exhaled in a sigh of relief. “ I know I know but still how can I not be nervous? I’m asking her for forever ”. Tom just smiles as he walks out of the room “Come on dude it’s time to go anyways so you can freak out in the car”.

You couldn’t figure out where your best friend was taking you two before dinner. You two were supposed to be having a fancy girls night out now that she was coming to visit you out in Arizona. You didn’t care that’s what she wanted to do on her third night here because you just missed her too much, but you never regretted the decision you made to move. This whole year with him had been a whirlwind but it has probably been one of the best years of your life so far. As your best friend turns, you notice that she is taking you to the Tohono Chul Garden. You had always told her how this was one of your favorite places in Tucson to go especially with Michael on a date night, but it was also nice to just go there to think sometimes. She all of the sudden stops the car and park turning to look at you saying “Come on we need to do something real quick”. You just got out of the car not thinking twice about what she needed to be done, you just wish it was earlier today that she made you do it. The heels that you were wearing are hard enough on your feet, let alone on the brick that was throughout there, let alone the floor length gown that you had on. She was leading you throughout when you were just about to ask her what you two were doing there when you approached the bistro where your favorite fountain in the whole park was. That is when you saw Michael standing there in a suit smiling at you. “Mikey what are you doing here?” you ask him questioningly. “Better yet what are we doing here?” you turn to ask your best friend, who seems to have disappeared out of nowhere. You just are thinking okk this is weird what is going on. You felt Michael grab your hand and turn you back to him. “Michael Latta tell me what is going on this instant please.” you say it as Michael starts reaching into his pocket and gets down on one knee. “Holy shit” is the only thing that was able to come out of your mouth as the tears start welling up in your eyes. You were bound to start ugly crying at any moment and you really couldn’t care less. You were just thankful you put waterproof mascara on.

“Honey from the first day I met you in that damn bar in Chicago, every day has been a great day in my life. I never thought that I was going to find love in that bar that I night. All I wanted was one drink and a guys night but I guess that wasn’t bound to happen. I get excited everytime you walk through the door or every time I see you in the stands cheering us on in my jersey. It doesn’t matter if it’s here or halfway across the country, as long as I am with you I know that I am home. You are strong and sassy in all the right ways and never fail to stand your ground on anything and always keep me in line when I need it the most. You are honest and caring and I don’t know why to this day you chose to be with me but you did. Y/N I want to spend the rest of my days here on Earth trying to make you feel as half as amazing as you should. I want to spend every single day showing you why I love you with all my heart. Y/N will you spend forever with me and do the honor of marrying me?” Michael said as he opens the ring box. You just reach down and grab his face and said “You damn well know I will” as he stands up and crashes his lips right onto yours. You couldn’t believe that this was happening as he slipped the ring onto your finger. “Mi, its perfect. I love it so much” you tell him as you tip your forehead forward to meet his. He smirks as he says i know as he pulled you into kiss you again. He knew right then and there that it was the best decision of his life while you were silently thanking your friends for making you go out that weekend that you met him. I guess it’s true that when you stop looking for love it just makes its own appearance in your life.

Four years later: You sat on the couch in your new apartment in D.C. as you watched Michael move boxes into the apartment. He kept insisting that you couldn’t do anything now that you were 8 months pregnant with your first kid. He wouldn’t even let you carry in the pillows. You just sat there smiling at the fact of how happy he was to be back with the Caps. He missed playing with Tom and Burky so much, no matter how hard he tried to deny it, so when the Caps came calling back he jumped at the opportunity. He knew that you would follow him to the moon and back for his hockey career but the constant moving was beginning to take its toll on everyone. Michael walked around to sit down on the couch next to you placing a kiss on the top of your head as he passes you. As he sits down next to you, he pulls your feet on to him. “Do you think that this little munchkin of ours is going to like D.C.?” he asks as he starts rubbing your feet. “Michael I think if this kid is anything like you, he's going to have this thing for D.C.” you say causing Michael to laugh. ‘Yeah but I’ve got this thing for Chicago and Tucson too”. “Yeah why’s that?” you say smirking at him. “Because of that damn little smirk that you just gave me all started there in Chicago and it ended up being all mine in Tucson”. You just laugh as you say “See and here i thought it was just a thing for meeting people in bars” as Michael leans into kiss you. “Best night out ever” he mutters to you as you just nod your head in agreement. Because sometimes true love it happens like that, outta the blue sky.

Tags: @mystupidlovesongs @marialovesdean

[cyberianlife]

Fish Night

It was a bleached-bone afternoon with a cloudless sky and a monstrous sun. The air trembled like a mass of gelatinous ectoplasm. No wind blew.

Through the swelter came a worn, black Plymouth, coughing and belching white smoke from beneath its hood. It wheezed twice, backfired loudly, died by the side of the road.

The driver got out and went around to the hood. He was a man in the hard winter years of life, with dead, brown hair and a heavy belly riding his hips. His shirt was open to the navel, the sleeves rolled up past his elbows. The hair on his chest and arms was gray.

A younger man climbed out on the passenger side, went around front too.

Yellow sweat‑explosions stained the pits of his white shirt. An unfastened, striped tie was draped over his neck like a pet snake that had died in its sleep.

“Well?” the younger man asked.

The old man said nothing. He opened the hood. A calliope note of steam blew out from the radiator in a white puff, rose to the sky, turned clear.

“Damn,” the old man said, and he kicked the bumper of the Plymouth as if he were kicking a foe in the teeth. He got little satisfaction out of the action, just a nasty scuff on his brown wingtip and a jar to his ankle that hurt like hell.

“Well?” the young man repeated.

“Well what? What do you think? Dead as the can-opener trade this week. Deader. The radiator’s chickenpocked with holes.”

“Maybe someone will come by and give us a hand.”

“Sure.”

“A ride anyway.”

“Keep thinking that, college boy.”

“Someone is bound to come along,” the young man said.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Who else takes these cutoffs? The main highway, that’s where everyone is. Not this little no-account shortcut.” He finished by glaring at the young man.

“I didn’t make you take it,” the young man snapped. “It was on the map. I told you about it, that’s all. You chose it. You’re the one that decided to take it. It’s not my fault. Besides, who’d have expected the car to die?”

“I did tell you to check the water in the radiator, didn’t I? Wasn’t that back as far as El Paso?”

“I checked. It had water then. I tell you, it’s not my fault. You’re the one that’s done all the Arizona driving.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the old man said, as if this were something he didn’t want to hear. He turned to look up the highway.

No cars. No trucks. Just heat waves and miles of empty concrete in sight.

They seated themselves on the hot ground with their backs to the car. That way it provided some shade — but not much. They sipped on a jug of lukewarm water from the Plymouth and spoke little until the sun fell down. By then they had both mellowed a bit. The heat had vacated the sands and the desert chill had settled in. Where the warmth had made the pair snappy, the cold drew them together.

The old man buttoned his shirt and rolled down his sleeves while the young man rummaged a sweater out of the back seat. He put the sweater on, sat back down. “I’m sorry about this,” he said suddenly.

“Wasn’t your fault. Wasn’t anyone’s fault. I just get to yelling sometime, taking out the can‑opener trade on everything but the can openers and myself. The days of the door‑to‑door salesman are gone, son.”

“And I thought I was going to have an easy summer job,” the young man said.

The old man laughed. “Bet you did. They talk a good line, don’t they?”

“I’ll say!”

“Make it sound like found money, but there ain’t no found money, boy. Ain’t nothing simple in this world. The company is the only one ever makes any money. We just get tireder and older with more holes in our shoes. If I had any sense I’d have quit years ago. All you got to make is this summer —”

“Maybe not that long.”

“Well, this is all I know. Just town after town, motel after motel, house after house, looking at people through screen wire while they shake their heads No. Even the cockroaches at the sleazy motels begin to look like little fellows you’ve seen before, like maybe they’re door‑to‑door peddlers that have to rent rooms too.”

The young man chuckled. “You might have something there.”

They sat quietly for a moment, welded in silence. Night had full grip on the desert now. A mammoth gold moon and billions of stars cast a whitish glow from eons away.

The wind picked up. The sand shifted, found new places to lie down. The undulations of it, slow and easy, were reminiscent of the midnight sea. The young man, who had crossed the Atlantic by ship once, said as much.

“The sea?” the old man replied. “Yes, yes, exactly like that. I was thinking the same. That’s part of the reason it bothers me. Part of why I was stirred up this afternoon. Wasn’t just the heat doing it. There are memories of mine out here,” he nodded at the desert, “and they’re visiting me again.”

The young man made a face. “I don’t understand.”

“You wouldn’t. You shouldn’t. You’d think I’m crazy.”

“I already think you’re crazy. So tell me.”

The old man smiled. “All right, but don’t you laugh.”

“I won’t.”

A moment of silence moved in between them. Finally the old man said, “It’s fish night, boy. Tonight’s the full moon and this is the right part of the desert if memory serves me, and the feel is right — I mean, doesn’t the night feel like it’s made up of some soft fabric, that it’s different from other nights, that it’s like being inside a big, dark bag, the sides sprinkled with glitter, a spotlight at the top, at the open mouth, to serve as a moon?”

“You lost me.”

The old man sighed. “But it feels different. Right? You can feel it too, can’t you?”

“I suppose. Sort of thought it was just the desert air. I’ve never camped out in the desert before, and I guess it is different.”

“Different, all right. You see, this is the road I got stranded on twenty years back. I didn’t know it at first, least not consciously. But down deep in my gut I must have known all along I was taking this road, tempting fate, offering it, as the football people say, an instant replay.”

“I still don’t understand about fish night. What do you mean, you were here before?”

“Not this exact spot, somewhere along in here. This was even less of a road back then than it is now. The Navajos were about the only ones who traveled it. My car conked out, like this one today, and I started walking instead of waiting. As I walked the fish came out. Swimming along in the starlight pretty as you please. Lots of them. All the colors of the rainbow. Small ones, big ones, thick ones, thin ones. Swam right up to me…right through me! Fish just as far as you could see. High up and low down to the ground.

“Hold on, boy. Don’t start looking at me like that. Listen: You’re a college boy, you know something about these things. I mean, about what was here before we were, before we crawled out of the sea and changed enough to call ourselves men. Weren’t we once just slimy things, brothers to the things that swim?”

“I guess, but —”

“Millions and millions of years ago this desert was a sea bottom. Maybe even the birthplace of man. Who knows? I read that in some science books. And I got to thinking this: If the ghosts of people who have lived can haunt houses, why can’t the ghosts of creatures long dead haunt where they once lived, float about in a ghostly sea?”

“Fish with a soul?”

“Don’t go small-mind on me, boy. Look here: Some of the Indians I’ve talked to up north tell me about a thing they call the manitou. That’s a spirit. They believe everything has one. Rocks, trees, you name it. Even if the rock wears to dust or the tree gets cut to lumber, the manitou of it is still around.”

“Then why can’t you see these fish all the time?”

“Why can’t we see ghosts all the time? Why do some of us never see them? Time’s not right, that’s why. It’s a precious situation, and I figure it’s like some fancy time lock — like the banks use. The lock clicks open at the bank, and there’s the money. Here it ticks open and we get the fish of a world long gone.”

“Well, it’s something to think about,” the young man managed.

The old man grinned at him. “I don’t blame you for thinking what you’re thinking. But this happened to me twenty years ago and I’ve never forgotten it. I saw those fish for a good hour before they disappeared. A Navajo came along in an old pickup right after and I bummed a ride into town with him. I told him what I’d seen. He just looked at me and grunted. But I could tell he knew what I was talking about. He’d seen it too, and probably not for the first time.

“I’ve heard that Navajos don’t eat fish for some reason or another, and I bet it’s the fish in the desert that keep them from it. Maybe they hold them sacred. And why not? It was like being in the presence of the Creator; like crawling back inside your mother and being unborn again, just kicking around in the liquids with no cares in the world.”

“I don’t know. That sounds sort of…”

“Fishy?” The old man laughed. “It does, it does. So this Navajo drove me to town. Next day I got my car fixed and went on. I’ve never taken that cutoff again — until today, and I think that was more than accident. My subconscious was driving me. That night scared me, boy, and I don’t mind admitting it. But it was wonderful too, and I’ve never been able to get it out of my mind.”

The young man didn’t know what to say.

The old man looked at him and smiled. “I don’t blame you,” he said. “Not even a little bit. Maybe I am crazy.”

They sat awhile longer with the desert night, and the old man took his false teeth out and poured some of the warm water on them to clean them of coffee and cigarette residue.

“I hope we don’t need that water,” the young man said.

“You’re right. Stupid of me! We’ll sleep awhile, start walking before daylight. It’s not too far to the next town. Ten miles at best.” He put his teeth back in.

“We’ll be just fine.”

The young man nodded.

No fish came. They did not discuss it. They crawled inside the car, the young man in the front seat, the old man in the back. They used their spare clothes to bundle under, to pad out the cold fingers of the night.

Near midnight the old man came awake suddenly and lay with his hands behind his head and looked up and out the window opposite him, studied the crisp desert sky.

And a fish swam by.

Long and lean and speckled with all the colors of the world, flicking its tail as if in goodbye. Then it was gone.

The old man sat up. Outside, all about, were the fish — all sizes, colors, and shapes.

“Hey, boy, wake up!”

The younger man moaned.

“Wake up!”

The young man, who had been resting face down on his arms, rolled over. “What’s the matter? Time to go?”

“The fish.”

“Not again.”

“Look!”

The young man sat up. His mouth fell open. His eyes bloated. Around and around the car, faster and faster in whirls of dark color, swam all manner of fish.

“Well, I’ll be… How?”

“I told you, I told you.”

The old man reached for the door handle, but before he could pull it a fish swam lazily through the back window glass, swirled about the car, once, twice, passed through the old man’s chest, whipped up and went out through the roof.

The old man cackled, jerked open the door. He bounced around beside the road. Leaped up to swat his hands through the spectral fish. “Like soap bubbles,” he said. “No. Like smoke!”

The young man, his mouth still agape, opened his door and got out. Even high up he could see the fish. Strange fish, like nothing he’d ever seen pictures of or imagined. They flitted and skirted about like flashes of light.

As he looked up, he saw, nearing the moon, a big dark cloud. The only cloud in the sky. That cloud tied him to reality suddenly, and he thanked the heavens for it. Normal things still happened. The whole world had not gone insane.

After a moment the old man quit hopping among the fish and came out to lean on the car and hold his hand to his fluttering chest.

“Feel it, boy? Feel the presence of the sea? Doesn’t it feel like the beating of your own mother’s heart while you float inside the womb?”

And the younger man had to admit that he felt it, that inner rolling rhythm that is the tide of life and the pulsating heart of the sea.

“How?” the young man said. “Why?”

“The time lock, boy. The locks clicked open and the fish are free. Fish from a time before man was man. Before civilization started weighing us down. I know it’s true. The truth’s been in me all the time. It’s in us all.”

“It’s like time travel,” the young man said. “From the past to the future, they’ve come all that way.”

“Yes, yes, that’s it… Why, if they can come to our world, why can’t we go to theirs? Release that spirit inside of us, tune into their time?”

“Now, wait a minute…”

“My God, that’s it! They’re pure, boy, pure. Clean and free of civilization’s trappings. That must be it! They’re pure and we’re not. We’re weighted down with technology. These clothes. That car.”

The old man started removing his clothes.

“Hey!” the young man said. “You’ll freeze.”

“If you’re pure, if you’re completely pure,” the old man mumbled, “that’s it…yeah, that’s the key.”

“You’ve gone crazy.”

“I won’t look at the car,” the old man yelled, running across the sand, trailing the last of his clothes behind him. He bounced about the desert like a jackrabbit.

“God, God, nothing is happening, nothing,” he moaned. “This isn’t my world. I’m of that world. I want to float free in the belly of the sea, away from can openers and cars and —”

The young man called the old man’s name. The old man did not seem to hear.

“I want to leave here!” the old man yelled. Suddenly he was springing about again. “The teeth!” he yelled. “It’s the teeth. Dentist, science, foo!” He punched a hand into his mouth, plucked the teeth free, tossed them over his shoulder.

Even as the teeth fell the old man rose. He began to stroke. To swim up and up and up, moving like a pale, pink seal among the fish.

In the light of the moon the young man could see the pooched jaws of the old man, holding the last of the future’s air. Up went the old man, up, up, up, swimming strong in the long‑lost waters of a time gone by.

The young man began to strip off his own clothes. Maybe he could nab him, pull him down, put the clothes on him. Something… God, something… But, what if he couldn’t come back? And there were the fillings in his teeth, the metal rod in his back from a motorcycle accident. No, unlike the old man, this was his world and he was tied to it. There was nothing he could do.

A great shadow weaved in front of the moon, made a wriggling slat of darkness that caused the young man to let go of his shirt buttons and look up.

A black rocket of a shape moved through the invisible sea: a shark, the granddaddy of all sharks, the seed for all of man’s fears of the deeps.

And it caught the old man in its mouth, began swimming upward toward the golden light of the moon. The old man dangled from the creature’s mouth like a ragged rat from a house cat’s jaws. Blood blossomed out of him, coiled darkly in the invisible sea.

The young man trembled. “Oh God,” he said once.

Then along came that thick dark cloud, rolling across the face of the moon. Momentary darkness.

And when the cloud passed there was light once again, and an empty sky.

No fish.

No shark.

And no old man.

Just the night, the moon, and the stars.

Written by one of my favorite authors, Joe R. Lansdale, a Texas American writer and martial arts instructor.

This copy was electronically retrieved from The Horrorzine May 2011 Issue on 22 July 2020 although I first read this in 100 Hair-Raising Little Horror Stories, edited by Al Sarrantonio. 

Fish Night was recently adapted into an animated short as part of LOVE DEATH + ROBOTS, a 2019 adult animation web anthology by streaming service, Netflix.

[mst3kproject]

K09: Phase IV

Remember I said the movies were all coming together?  Well, Phase IV is definitely a prequel to Overdrawn at the Memory Bank. Think about it – why are the people of the future nothing but replaceable cogs in a few giant companies, or colonies if you will?  Why is individuality so strongly discouraged?  Why does everybody hate anteaters?  Because the world is ruled by ants! See?  See?  It's all part of one great ur-movie!

And honestly, that's as seriously as I've ever been able to take Phase IV.  It's a shame, really, because despite lurid posters in which ants eat their way through a human hand, Phase IV really wants to be a serious science fiction movie.  It's trying to imagine humanity confronted by an intelligence greater than ours, from the most unlikely source – man humbled before God's humblest creatures!  The title apparently refers to all life on Earth eventually merging into a single super-consciousness.  I can definitely see where they were trying to go.  Sadly, when the journey isn't boring me to tears, it's making me giggle like a Tickle-Me Elmo doll at things that weren't supposed to be funny.  Was Tickle-Me Elmo really over twenty years ago?

Dr. Hubbs is an entomologist studying a frighteningly intelligent multi-species ant colony in Arizona – or are the ants studying him? He calls in a cryptographer, Dr. Lesko, to help him try to communicate with the insects.  For the next hour or so, the scientists do scientist stuff and the ants do ant stuff. Occasionally something happens.  The ants tear a house down, and the people inside flee only to be accidentally sprayed with a massive overdose of pesticide. The scientists have praying mantises to keep the ants from getting into their little moon dome, but the ants take them out with ant assassins. Stuff like that.  Eventually Hubbs dies of an ant bite, but the ants capture everybody else to do... something... to them... and then the movie's over.

For the most part Phase IV is deathly boring.  We're either listening to the scientists talk about whatever, or watching ants wiggle their antennas at other ants that are never in the same shot because in the real world two different types of ants put together will either ignore or eat each other.  Dr. Hubbs goes off on poetic flights about the perfection of ant society, and shows that he is the Mad Scientist of the movie by discounting the deaths of actual people.  Dr. Lesko translates ant-language to come up with weird oscilloscope traces and geometric diagrams that might or might not mean anything. Desert Wildlife Stock Footage appears and there's a teenage girl named Kendra who has to hang around because going outside would mean crawly formic death.  The soundtrack is kinda trippy but at the same time impossibly dull.

In fact, it's because Phase IV is dull that I often find it so funny.  Since nothing much is happening, my brain wanders off on odd tangents with the sparse information the film gives me.  We begin with Dr. Lesko's narration telling us that this was all caused by some kind of unspecified celestial event.  Really? A conjuction of the planets created smart ants?  Jupiter is in retrograde and Mercury is rising in Libra, so be conservative with your investments – and watch out, because this month's full moon is the perfect time for ants to suddenly develop a superintelligent hive mind!

Then the narration starts talking about ants 'doing things ants don't do', like holding meetings.  This bodes ill for mankind, sure, but the word 'meetings' just makes me picture ants at tiny tables, sipping tiny lattes while they discuss how best to put the wasp nest under the porch out of business.  Never mind that Lesko's voice is over footage of ants doing... well, exactly what ants do; grooming, fighting, and carrying stuff through tunnels.  The shots cut back and forth from one ant to another of a different species in a way that suggests we're probably supposed to be imagining a dialogue between them, but there's not even any squeaking sounds dubbed in.  I admit that this is realistic, because ants communicate chemically.  It still looks ridiculous.

How about the bit where the ant queen (who I'm pretty sure is not played by an ant – the animal we see looks more like some kind of wasp) assimilates an insecticide, producing offspring that are immune to it?  Sure, scary idea, but Dr. Hubbs intones, 'we challenge with yellow chemistry, they respond with yellow creatures'.  Is that how that works?  Because now I'm pondering the artistic possibilities of feeding Skittles to the ants.

Or how about when the ants decide to cook the humans in their hideaway by focusing solar radiation onto it?  Revenge for all those kids with magnifying glasses, am I right?  Or how Dr. Lesko blasts the tops off the ant towers to try to get a reaction?  That seems a little extra, when any bored six-year-old knows much easier ways to get an ant colony moving.  How about the fact that at the end everybody runs off into the desert in their bare feet when they know damned well there's seventy billion pissed-off ants out there?

The ants only get one moment in the movie that's really effective, when it does seem like there's a higher intellect at work behind these millions of mindless drones in perhaps the same sort of way as billions of neurons come together to create a conscious human brain. That's when the ants bring a sample of the yellow pesticide back to the hill for their queen to examine.  One ant carries this as far as it can before the poison kills it, then another one picks it up and does the same.  Individual ants are expendable. There are just so damn many of them that it makes no difference, and the colony can always produce more to replace what has been lost.  This uses what makes ants scary even when they're not superintelligent, along with reminding us that their purpose here is to study our weapons and learn to neutralize them.

The dead ants laid out in rows like the aftermath of a battle is also sort of cool, but it has the opposite effect, actually humanizing the ants by depicting them as individual lost lives.  Hubbs has already explained to us that's not how ants work, and if ants are individuals who care enough to gather up their dead colony-mates, they become a lot less alien and therefore a lot less frightening.

The behaviour of the ants also suffers from the same problem as a lot of killer animal movies, in which their intelligence seems to have come with a few lessons in electrical engineering.  Intelligence does not automatically confer knowledge – INT is a stat, while knowledge is a skill!  Humans have sophisticated brains, but much of what we do with them depends upon thousands of years of accumulated learning.  Before we could build a generator, we needed at least a primitive understanding of the physics of electricity.  It is true that destroying a generator is simpler than inventing it, but how did the ants even know what the significance of the generator was?  How did they know what the air conditioner was, never mind how to shut it down?  These ants have been sentient for a couple of months at best, and during that time they seem to have been too busy building towers and exterminating their predators (things that actually seem like pretty plausible ant priorities) to go to trade school.

These are all quibbles, though.  The biggest problem with Phase IV is that it raises a lot of questions and then never bothers to even try answering them.  Dr. Lesko makes some progress at communicating with the ants, and the fact that the ants bother to listen and reply suggests that they do want something from these humans... but what? Hubbs dies of the ant venom, but Lesko and Kendra are captured and taken inside an enormous ant hill, where the ants begin doing something to them that seems poised to begin a real dialogue.  In the final moments of the movie we're on the verge of finding out what's really been going on... and then it just ends.

So what was all that leading up to?  We don't know!  And Lesko's final words of narration, we didn't know for what purpose, but we knew we would be told, just seem to rub the anticlimax in our faces – he found out, but we never will!  I'm left with the impression that writer Mayo Simon didn't have any real idea, himself.  I guess the point is supposed to be that the ants are such a completely alien mind that Lesko probably couldn't explain it to us if he wanted to.  Fair enough, but still a lousy non-ending to a boring eighty-four minute movie.

All this movie needed was a conclusion.  Not even a conclusion to the overall 'smart ants take over the world' thing, just a conclusion to the 'kidnap Lesko and Kendra and make them members of the hive' thing.  Are the ants after human knowledge?  Do they need human emmissaries?  Human spies?  Human slaves?  Humans to play the slots in Vegas while the ants manipulate the machines to pay out big wins? A fertile couple to be the progenitors of a new race of Ant-People? See, there I go again, off on tangents trying to supply the entertainment this movie so conspicuously failed to give me.

There are people who really like this movie.  El Santo of 1000 Misspent Hours says it's one of his favourites, because it makes him think.  It made me think, too, but about all the wrong things.