#i kinda wanna talk about once i was a beehive

[cyeayt]

just exmo things be like

if you say the name "church of jesus christ of later day saints" to me unironically i will block you

if youve heard some batshit rumor about mormonism or our history and beleifs of whatever you can ask me about it i guess

[redr0sewrites]

Can you write Vox x reader where like the reader just says like really unhinged things and just like vile things whenever they rage and stuff like the internet could be slow or smth and the reader is just like “IM GOING TO RIP OFF MY SKIN” idk man I’m kinda just self projecting rn like you can right anything with it tbh idk sorry for rambling anyway you don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna

THIS IS SO MEEEEE I LOVE THIS IDEA SM!!! sorry it took me a hot minute to reply to this i have over 70 hazbin hotel requests in my inbox 😭

🥀Cw: fluff, crack, silly vox

when he first met you, vox was charmed by your seemingly sweet nature- that is, until you were pissed

your unholy screech of how you were going to rip off your skin if he cut the wifi again was both endearing and confusing in his eyes

vox would just short circuit for a second, just blinking at you while he tries to process what you just said

once it clicks, he just starts giggling. vox very rarely genuinely laughs, most of his laughs are professional or part of the persona he adopts as the leader of vox enterprises, but when he's so shocked by what you just said, he can't control the booming laughter thay fills the room

he's wheezing and gasping, each barking laugh only pissing you off more

"what's so funny? if you keep laughing i am going to fucking break ur fingers like carrot sticks!" you snap, and vox only giggles harder

after a few seconds, you can't help but notice how adorable his laughter is, and soon you don't mind it as much

once you two are officially together, you notice how stressed vox often is, yet how he seems to visibly relax around you

the batshit crazy things you say, which normally disgusts other people, only seem to amuse him

its actually a wonderful dynamic because you bring some spontaneity and slight insanity into vox's otherwise irritating and depressing lifestyle, and vox balances out the crazy things you say and calms you down every time

you often find yourself searching for new phrases to baffle him with, and for new ways to make him laugh

after vox has a stressful day, he enjoys just listening to you ramble about the most insane things and adores hearing whatever fucked up saying you've adopted recently

vox notices himself beginning to copy your speech patterns. he only begins to realize when he slips in an exceptionally odd metaphor into a work meeting and everyone stares at him, yet his heart skips a beat at the thought

there's something so charming to him about the fact that he's adopting your mannerisms, and you truly make him laugh when no one else can

whenever another one of the vees pisses him off, he always comes to you for advice on incredibly deranged comebacks, and you never disappoint!

he's won multiple arguments by just repeating one of your fucked up sayings and the other vees being too lowkey shocked to disagree

vox LOVES IT when you diss people he hates, hearing you ramble some fucked up insults about alastor made him fall in love with you all over again

"that worm on a string fucked up karen cut bob looking ass- if i see him around here again im going to eat a fucking brick" *cue vox looking at you with the biggest heart eyes*

overall, you are both menaces, but you're menaces in love ♥️

vox lay with his head in your lap, the blue light of his screen illuminating the dim room as you rambled mindlessly about your day.

"and THEN, this fucking asshole tried to flirt with me! ME!! as if he doesn't know were dating! ugh, it makes me feel like i have an entire beehive living beneath my skin. i swear if he even looks at me again im going to lick wet cement i can NOT deal. how can you even work with him? he's such a fucking CREEP voxy, i'm going to cut off those ugly ass wings and shove them so far down his throat- hey, are you even listening?"

you look down to see vox half asleep, his eyelids drooping as his light dimmed. "keep talking.." he murmurs, looking up at you with a lazy smile on his face. "you're my favorite person t' listen to.."

i love the idea of vox with a partner who challenges his very idea of power. he clearly wraps himself in a sort of persona, surrounding himself with powerful people and acting like he's so serious and important. i love the idea of him falling in love with someone who can break down his walls in seconds, someone who can dismantle his entire bravado act and who allows him to truly be himself. this is such a wonderful prompt and i am eating this up. nonnie ur awesome!!!!

[tibbinswrites]

Prompt #26

It’s my birthday!!!

So I got you all a present. That’s how birthdays work, right? I wrote you this fic. Prompt #26 on my list because guess how old I am?!

Fair warning: Major Character Death. I made myself cry.

I’ve now done prompts for: #1, #2, #4 and #16, #9, #10, #20, #26, #33, #77, #78, #170 (part 1), (part 2), (part 3), #327 and #502 and I’m not accepting any more prompts at this time.

Also, check out the destiel anthology I’m in. We’re 119% funded and saving for hardback so if you want one, get one!

Prompt #26. Afterlife

Getting old sucked. Ever since Dean had found his first grey hair and noticed that the wrinkles around Sam’s eyes weren’t going away when he stopped smiling, Dean had realised that he might actually get to experience old age. It was a thoughts that settled uncomfortable behind his sternum, though he knew it wasn’t exactly bad. They’d defeated Chuck, after all, and only a couple of years after that, Dean had called it quits and retired from hunting… mostly. He’d help out if there was a case in their neck of the woods, Sam always called him first so he could call dibs or pass as he pleased. At least he had, until Sam himself had retired with Eileen and they’d passed the reigns on to the younger generation.

That was just fine by Dean. Sam and Eileen now lived only a couple of blocks away, the bunker a place none of them had been to in years, though sometimes they got visits from the younger hunters, wanting to gawk or advice or to hear some of the Winchesters’ greatest hits, which Dean was always happy to oblige and he and Sam had a tally going of which one of the brothers they’d come to see (Sam was winning, but barely). He liked seeing the way their eyes bugged out when Cas brought out a plate of sandwiches and dropped a kiss to Dean’s hair before settling next to him on the couch, his hands taking Dean’s left in his own so he could fiddle with the ring he’d put there nearly thirty years before.

Now, Cas was the worse part of this getting old deal, because Cas wasn’t. Or… he was, his grace had been irreparably damaged over the years, but slowly. Cas still looked like he was only barely approaching fifty, while Dean had come to realise that he was a shrivelled-up eighty-eight-year-old.

Despite Cas’ assurances that it made no difference to him, that he was still older than Dean by millennia anyway, that his soul was still as beautiful as it had been, Dean still sometimes found himself staring into the mirror in dismay, then looking over at his still-gorgeous husband and feeling even worse. Especially when Dean had had to convince Cas to pretend that he was a carer out in public, or his son, or something that would make more sense than him, a raisin of a human, being married to an angel (formerly of the Lord, now of humanity) who just wasn’t ageing at the same rate and both of them being happier than either had dared imagine for themselves.

Dean watched Cas from his chair while he puttered around outside. Before they’d even finished unpacking their meagre belongings after moving in, Cas had started working on the garden. There was a small beehive at the very back, and lots of decorative birdbaths and birdfeeders they had been gifted with over the years and the plants themselves were an explosion of colour. Dean couldn’t really make it out there on his own anymore. There were a few stone steps to get down into it from the house that he struggled with now and thing was practically a jungle, with roots and uneven ground that was pretty perilous for a man of his age. There was no lawn to speak of, the grass was always too long and there were more trees and plants than open spaces. It was beautiful to look at though, and sometimes in the summer Cas would carry him out to the bench (that was nowhere near the beehive) and they would sit together and watch the birds and insects flutter by, and despite being surrounded by suburbia, they were perfectly alone, a place of calm, like the lake near the bunker they’d gone to years ago.

He got nostalgic a lot, and bitter with it sometimes. And though he didn’t regret the way his life had turned out, not at all, he missed feeling like he had something, anything, to give back to Cas in return for loving him. He couldn’t offer to help around the house anymore. He was confined to his chair most of the time. Cas carried him to bed and helped him hobble to the bathroom and cooked for him and put up with his crotchety-ness when his knees were bothering him. He made sure Dean took all his pills on time and read to him when his eyes wouldn’t focus properly and sign to him when his ears were fuzzy and drove him over to visit Sam and Eileen twice a week. And he still looked at Dean in a way that made his heart melt, like he was beautiful, and just as capable and strong as he’d been at thirty, and not the pile of brittle bones that he had become.

Cas saw him watching through the window and smiled, as though seeing Dean sat where Cas had gently placed him a few hours ago was the best surprise he could have hoped for. Dean shook his head and smiled back. Even after all these years Cas was still a giant romantic dork. It was good to see him smile. He’d been kind of mopey for the past week, though wouldn’t answer when Dean asked him what was wrong.

He came back in soon after that, though he’d only been out for around fifteen minutes. He brought Dean a bowl of soup for lunch and sat with him with his own bowl, telling him how the hive was doing and which flowers had just begun to bud. Dean listened to it all, just letting Cas’ voice brush through him, as soft as his grace.

“Claire called this morning.” Cas informed him. “She and Kaia are planning a trip to Athens next month for their anniversary.”

“Well it’s lucky for some,” Dean said with a smile. “I’ll bet Alex and Patience are jealous.”

“Livid,” Cas agreed. “Claire was very pleased. She’s hoping they might run into ‘something cool’.” Cas’ fingers quoted the last two words. “So I daresay they’ll spend a few days looking for a hunt.”

“And how’s Donna?”

“As well as can be expected. Alex is staying with her for a little while, you know.”

“Yeah.”

Cas had driven them to the funeral a few months back. Jody had died peacefully, surrounded by her wife and her girls, but it was still hard on all of them. Especially Donna and Claire. Jody had been kick-ass even as a pensioner, getting into trouble with the local law enforcement when she decided to voice her complaints about their ‘sloppy new police tactics’. Dean had been sad to say goodbye.

“I think you should call Sam.” Cas said once they were done eating, though Dean hadn’t even managed half of the soup; he missed the days he could devour seven grilled cheeses in quick succession.

One hand still holding Dean’s, the other playing through his wispy, white hair. At least he hadn’t gone bald like his grandfather, though Sam had followed in Samuel’s eggheaded footsteps, which was a fact that Dean never tired of teasing him about.

“Why? We were over there the other day.”

“I know, but… It’s nice to check in. I’ll get you the phone.”

Bewildered, Dean stared as Cas unstuck himself from his side and went to pick up the cordless phone. He dialled and held the phone to his ear, turning his back to Dean and talking quietly so he couldn’t hear or even attempt to lip read what was being said. That was weird.

“Here.” Cas said, a few minutes later, handing Dean the phone before kissing him on the cheek and gathering up the trays from lunch. “You talk to Sam and I’ll clean up.”

“You’re being weird.” Dean told him, but dutifully held the phone to his ear anyway. “Hey Sammy.”

“Hey Dean.” Sam’s voice cracked a little over the words. “How are you feeling?”

“Old,” Dean replied. You?”

“Four years younger.” Sam said, and Dean could hear the smartass grin through the phone.

“Hello, Dean,” came Eileen’s voice.

“No!” Dean said firmly. “I’m not falling for that again. Sam, tell Eileen I say hi and that she’s been pulling the same joke for the past forty years.”

“And you fell for it for the past thirty-nine of them.”

There was a pause, probably while Sam signed something to his wife because he heard her laugh.

“What did Cas wanna talk to you about anyway?” Dean asked. “And why doesn’t he know by now that he can just call you without pretending that I need to talk to you.”

“He’s just paying back the favour.” Sam said, a little too quickly. “It used to be that I was the one playing messenger between the two of you.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Why do I feel like you’re planning a surprise birthday party or something?”

“That’s exactly it. We forgot to do that in January. You know what my memory’s like now.”

“It’s from all those concussions you got.” Dean said, falling easily back into their old banter. Cas was right, talking with Sam was just what he needed. Sure, they still saw each other a lot, but over the phone he could almost kid himself that they weren’t as old as they looked, and even if they were… then it wasn’t that bad. Because he and Sam had made it through. Against all odds, through Hell and Heaven and Purgatory, they’d stared down monsters, ghosts, angels, demons and God and they’d beaten them all. They were the Winchesters and they’d survived.

Sure, this old age crap sucked, but every day he got to wake up next to the person he loved, knowing that his brother was doing the same. He got to hear stories from the hunters who came to visit, about new weapons they’d developed, new hunters they’d recruited, new lore they’d discovered. He got to hear how the fight was continuing without them and it was kinda nice to not be needed any more. He knew that he’d done his part, given all he had, and still ended up with a life worth bragging about. He didn’t worry about nightmares anymore, didn’t wake up drowning in guilt over things that were long over and done with. He’d made peace with his mistakes years ago, and he’d also learned to appreciate his victories.

His conversation with Sam lasted longer than he’d expected. They ended up, as most of their conversations did, reminiscing on old times. Mostly because there was so little present news happening. The world was quiet, for which they were both grateful, and they had more than earned the right to allow it to pass them by.

But this conversation felt different to the one they’d shared just the other day. Heavier almost. Sure, they laughed and poked fun at each other, just like they always had, even brothers in their eighties were still brothers after all, but Sam told him a few things that he was sure had never come up before, things like how grateful Sam was that Dean had raised him like he had, how he’d known all along the things he’d sacrificed so that he could have as normal a childhood as possible, even growing up as a hunter. He confessed how pleased he’d been to see him at Stanford, even knowing that it meant trouble, and other little moments like it. After hunts when Dean had been hurt, how terrified Sam had been every time. And when Sam got hurt, how much it had helped knowing that Dean was the one patching him up. He told a dozen different stories that emphasised how brave Sam thought he was, how kind, how smart, and he wouldn’t let Dean scoff off those compliments like he usually did.

Sam’s openness inspired his own and he found himself confessing things in kind. It felt good, cleansing, like a too-hot bath, and despite how stilted and slightly uncomfortable the entire conversation was, he was glad Cas had suggested the call.

Eventually, they both seemed to run out of things to say.

“Well, I should probably go,” Dean said. “But we’ll come visit on Tuesday like usual, kay?”

To his surprise, Sam sniffed, and it sounded like he was about to cry. “Yeah, okay,” he said. “Love you, jerk.”

“You too, bitch.”

He ended the call and glanced up at Cas, who had returned about an hour ago with a book, though instead of reading it, he was watching Dean.

Dean frowned at him, thinking about how weird Cas had been acting, how today he’d barely left him alone, how he’d caught him up on all the latest family news and made him call Sam. He remembered something Cas had told him years ago, when they’d first begun to let themselves truly love each other, how angels could sense when someone was dying.

“Today’s the day, isn’t it?” He asked.

Cas looked stricken for a moment, then he put the book aside and came back to sit at Dean’s side, curling around him like the world’s most careful question mark. “Yes.”

Dean reached out to grasp his hand. “Thank you. For making me talk to Sam.”

Cas just squeezed his frail fingers.

“Maybe I should’ve cut back on the burgers after all.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“No, I don’t,” Dean conceded. “But this has been nice though. Our life. Our, post-hunting life.”

“Our together life,” Cas said, his breath soft against Dean’s neck. “Yes, it has.”

“I love you.”

“And it still takes a deathbed for you to say it,” Cas joked, as though Dean hadn’t made a point to say it at least once a day since they’d been married. “I love you too.”

“So, what happens… after?” He had to ask, despite knowing, he had to ask. Because he’d known this day was coming in a far-off kind of sense, and he’d died more often than he cared to count, but knowing that this was it, this would be his final trip over to the other side, well… he was a little apprehensive.

“I’ll find you.” Cas promised. “I’ll need you to wait for me a little while. I have to make the arrangements here and—”

“And be there for Sam.”

“Of course.” Cas said easily. “But as soon as I can, perhaps a week or two, I’ll find you; and we’ll keep… not-living a together afterlife.”

“I’ll like that.” Dean said, just as a sharp pain prodded at his chest.

“I’m sure we’ll have plenty of visitors too,” Cas said. “Jack will make sure we have plenty of channels between Heavens. The last we spoke he said he was excited to see you again.”

“Be nice to see him too.” Dean said, though he was finding it hard to breathe; Cas stroked his hair and the touch was nice. “And the rest.”

The last thing he felt on Earth was Cas’ lips brushing his skin, and Dean Winchester drifted off, content in his angel’s arms; knowing that this was right, that he was ready, and that when he woke up back in his thirty-year-old body in whatever Heaven he had earned, he was gonna give Cas a hell of a welcome when he joined him.

[tinybookgirl]

Mormon Onion Family

Because I’m thinking about it and I said so.

Tagging @thelilliellama because no one but us cares.

Vidalia wears pants to church like, 65% of the time. She encourages any of the young women who don’t really like wearing dresses and skirts to do so as well. She will go with them and buy them nice pants if they need it.

Vidalia is pretty much the best young women’s president on the planet.

Vidalia doesn’t hide the fact that she’s bisexual, leading to multiple young women coming out to her before coming out to anyone else. A few of the young men too.

Vidalia also makes sure all the young women have her number, letting them know that if they end up a place they don’t wanna be and their parents won’t approve of, she will come pick them up no matter what time it is. Especially if they’re drunk or high.

The best activities are the ones at Vidalias house because they tend to involve large amounts of paint or going out on Yellowtails boat.

Yellowtail and Vidalia always go to youth conference. They make the best trek parents, even if no one else is sure what Yellowtail is saying.

Mentioned briefly by Lillie, Vidalia is an expert at shutting down vaguely or blatantly homophobic lessons.

She’s also not afraid to bring up that she had Sour Cream out of wedlock on a one night stand whenever people get into that ‘we Mormons are the only good people in the world, families have to exist this one certain way’ kind of mentality.

Onion... Onion goes to primary. Technically. It’s always a guessing game as to whether he plans to stay with his class, or disappear. Once he spent all of sharing time inside one of the cabinets in the primary room. No one is sure how he got in there because it wasn’t even the one for their ward.

At least once a month Onion is found chilling in the empty baptismal font.

As Young Women’s President Vidalia gets Sour Cream gets to DJ some of the stake dances. Everyone agrees he’s the best at it.

Assuming Onion is in fact at least eight years old, he must be by now, he goes to scout camp. I do not actually know what happens at scout camp, as I have no brothers, but I feel fairly certain there is a portion of it involving fire and/or knives. They very quickly learn to invite Yellowtail or Vidalia because they are the only people who can stop Onion from burning the camp down.

Amethyst tags along with Vidalia every once in a while and the young women love it when she does, especially the beehives.

Amethyst isn’t too into the whole religion thing, but she likes human stuff, she likes hanging out with Vidalia and the whole thing is just kinda fun for her. She likes shapeshifting into weird shapes and freaking out the young women.

Also Amethyst will unintentionally bring up less common but really good discussion points, such as ‘if Eve wasn’t supposed to eat the fruit, then why was it even there’

She also raises less useful questions such as ‘if you eat the entire tray of sacrament bread, and the entire tray of water, (including the trays) does that count as extra future sin forgiving’

Vidalia may or may not have had to stop her from attempting to test this hyposthesis.

Amethyst will often try to claim she was there at varying points in the Book of Mormon or other biblical history. Whether or not she was is up for debate.

They try to get Onion to do scripture and prayer or give a talk during primary. It never works and Vidalia pretty much just reads it for him.

Sour Cream brings Buck to the activities sometimes and it’s pretty fun. And as cool as the deacons think he is, Sour Cream doesn’t really have a ton of close friends among the kids his age, so it’s nice to have Buck to hang out with.

Onion doesn’t have a ton of friends in his primary class either. There’s probably like, one weird little girl he’s good friends with, and aside from his parents and Sour Cream she’s one of the only people who can ever understand what he’s saying.

Onion has his own quad. He keeps it in his office, buried in the chest of GUYS and GALS.

He did not get it for his eighth birthday, Vidalia and Yellowtail did not buy it for him. No one has a clue how he got it. It has his name on it.

[elfmeme]

Khonjin House Starters

*WARNING: Some starters have sensitive topics

"I think it's time to order a pep-pep-pep-pep-PEPerroni pizza!"

"GODDAMMIT. Alright let's try this again."

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING, _, YOU HANGED UP ON ME!"

"I can't use my fucking dick anymore because of you."

"I'M JUST TRYING TO GET A PIZZA!"

"I want you dead, you little prick. DEAD. You hear me?!"

"Well, if I'm going I'm taking my spaghetti with me."

"It's in the coooontraaaaact~!"

"Well, it doesn't matter anyways because this questions a real butt breaker."

"I think I swallowed a bottle cap."

"I've never burned down a house before."

"AND YOU NEVER WILL!"

"God, don't these people know that I'm busy trying to look for crab crab?"

"You didn't tell me that the crab crab was a crab!"

"It's like the saying: Life's a beach, and I'm the dune who can't sand to watch our crustacean comrades go unprotected by the long beach island arm of the claw."

"Wait. I can smell it...Crab."

"I'm going to die."

"I'm going to need to examine that bag, if you don't mind."

"Well, just don't, uh, mind me while I TENDERIZE the BAG! A LITTLE BIT!"

"Uh, sir, it's not what it looks like. I just have a really loud butt."

"Well, I just dropped it so I don't have a product anymore."

"Well, uh, well don't just stand there, like are you gonna take it or not?"

"Wow. Well, now that you mention that, I totally want- SYKE! WHOOOO!"

"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

"Do you want this?? It's my most prized posession."

"I don't know, I found this cat in the garbage."

"Well, I'll just get down to it."

"It's okay, you can come in."

"Didn't you hear what I fucking said?!"

"I got to save the spaghetti!"

"The time. It has finally come. God, have mercy on all of us."

"What the fuck is the matter with you??"

"Well, s/he doesn't have to know that."

"I don't wanna break his/her heart, they're a cool chick."

"But that's a different plate of cookies for a different glass of milk."

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT 9/11 IS? I WAS THERE!!! On those planes."

"CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE, SCUMHOLE!"

"WHOOOO are you?"

"WAIT! DON'T TELL ME!"

"heheh...what a dick.."

"WHAAAAAT is this?"

"Eh, it's just a little scooty."

"Its just a little scooty. Don't fuck with it!"

"Well, yeah, but, the thing about that is that I....Am going to touch it."

"Alright, I won't touch it on one condition: You have to answer me one question."

"I KNEW IT!"

"Ladies and gentlemen......FFFUCK!"

"You're not as big as you think, broseph."

"The only rock you're gonna feel is the pavement!"

"Who the FUCK is talking about a rock?! Are you insane?!"

"S/he couldn't cheat on a math test, let alone cheat on me."

"The only C I can explain are the C four explosives planted under the floorboards."

"This whole place is going to hell."

"You're right, because it's C. Four. And planted the bombs, as previously stated, the ones you are standing on, with your feet, where they are, right there."

"You'll kill us both!"

"Both?! Oh, god NO!"

"Oh great. Of course. Always leave it to _ to fuck something up."

"Get the fuck out, RIGHT NOW!"

"But unfortunately for _ s/he will never find the chiwowow."

"What you don't understand is that I'm gonna fucking stick you like the pig you are if you don't."

"Shut the hell up at forever'o clock."

"How about you get me a PSPiece of pizza or you can Nintendo sixty-forget about ever surviving!"

"Heheh! A whole pep-pepperoni pizza all to myself-"

"Confirmed!"

"Die in your wildest of dreams!"

"You are a fool to stand against me, you idiot!"

"Personally, I prefer your ass."

"And the winner's me."

"If it isn't  __, my beeest friend!"

"That's a lot of people s/he's gotta fight."

"NO, S/HE'S A FRAUD! S/HE'S A FUCKING FRAUD! NO!"

"I am going to put a fucking bullet through my head."

"Listen, I got more degrees than a thermometer. You call me doc."

"Why are these names so goddamn long?!"

"I dunno, I've never been guilty before."

"I want every __ on my desk by the sixty-nineth hour, four-hundred-twenty days by now."

"Rob the place of every fuckboy."

"I want every desk on my desk."

"For the last fucking time, the rope isn't haunted!"

"Fuck it, just go!"

"It was across the street! Why do we need a map?!"

"What a wonderful day to be the king."

"I remember it like it was yesterday, it wasn't yesterday but that's how it felt."

"I DID IT!"

"I DIDN'T LIVE IN SACRAMENTO!"

"I'M NOT LOOKING FOR WOMAN! I'M LOOKING FOR PIZZA!"

"How about I give you a pair of scissors and cut out your favorite picture of _. And while you're at it, tape that picture to your face, so I can feel like I'm beating the shit out of him when I'm beating the shit out of you."

"I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT!!"

"It's kind of mesmerizing, really."

"I despise every fiber of your being."

"I'm not involving myself with you. At all."

"It looks like a magic."

"I respect that. And by respect that I mean touch it."

"Have you guys seen my chia pet?"

"I feel like liquid."

"Do I look like someone who knows what the hell that is? Because I am, what was your question?"

"I wanna know how to get the hell out of here!"

"I will staple your face to a beehive."

"Ah, what a wonderful day to take a single step."

"The footage was doctored, you idiots!"

"You can't trust anyone, except for the one man I who can trust with my very life."

"Could you just let me speak for, like, one second?"

"Then what are you doing here, hotshot?"

"You ever heard about the joke with the kid who dissipated into the tides of time? Well, you never will."

"And I was an undercover cop the whole time, they were the criminal, I caught them....Which is what I would've said if I was a cop. I'm a murderer."

"Ah, what a wonderful day to not have Christmas money."

"Alright, I get it. I was looking to play cards but, uh, you can go fish."

"Wait a second, did you say cards as in, like..poker? As in, like, money?"

"But I ain't gonna play cards with some bitchy fishy who's trying to swim with the sharks. So how about you grab yourself a towel, and get out of the pool?"

"I'm gettin' my decks shuffled tonight, if you know what I'm saying!"

"Go back to the shallow end, __, this yaht doesn't have room for two. And I just sunked your career."

"Christmas ain't about making money! It's about making a shitton of money."

"Homie, are you trying to get a lambchop or a lamborghini? Come on, my boy, let's ride, let's talk the dirty."

"Don't. Trust. The streets."

"It was only a matter of time, probably for the rattle of a dime." 

"But money was not gonna buy their way out of this situation station."

"'EY! Could you PLEASE SHUT UP?!"

"Crisis averted."

"Sometimes in order to find the spider, you have to walk right into their web. Their spiderweb."

"Basically, I have no idea how to solve the case."

"Early to pep, early to shoot the shit."

"Don't pretend you're not here, I know you're here!"

"So, how far away is Six Flags?"

"Oh..That's, strange? I could've sworn we were going to Six Flags, considering I'm already IN THE CAR. AND WE'RE GOING TO SIX FLAGS!"

"Alright we made it, now lets find our guy."

"If I were a target, where would I be?"

"You got it! Just, uh, give me a second here, I'll be right back."

"I'veeee got the net!"

"So you're telling me, that if I scream once, I'm dead?"

"Wow, that's a nice cigar, I didn't know you vape."

"Look at this buffet, how could you pass this up?"

"Oh, great, just clone them. Call off the whole fucking funeral, who cares?"

"Can you actually do that?"

"Some people want to make it their own way, but I like to make it the gay way."

"Okay! I get it! it sucks, whatever!"

"EXCUSE ME?! Do I owe you something?!"

"Look, I had a rough day. I'm not looking for trouble."

"Okay, __, I get it. Laugh it up, alright?!"

"I can't die now! Not before I've played Dweebus: the Video Game."

"Today, I've decided to stop wasting my time with habits that just are fucking dumb."

"Oh, dearest __, your voice is like a porcelain gulder against the tides of white noise."

"Would you not cleanse my ears with one bout of conversation?"

"It's so quiet." 

"....S/He's gonna come in here any second now. And when s/he does, the loudest music you have ever heard in your life is gonna play."

"The sheer volume will destroy any speaker, any set of headphones will rupture and explode."

"And this horrible reality is approaching us, and I will be right here at ground zero."

"Could've been good if it were fire ants."

"Sorry to have wasted your time."

"I want to kill you on the principle of that stupid-ass question alone."

"I don't even know who you are!"

"You said you weren't him! I thought I recognized you!"

"Give me one good reason not to."

"Oh, I'm sorry, but there's an irony to be appreciated here."

"I know it'll be lost on you, but would you believe that you're not the only illusion that wants me dead?"

"You wanted him dead since the beginning."

"Kinda sleepy."

"And I'm kinda pissed. Probably don't have to tell you why either."

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"I'm just gonna lie down here, I'm comfortable."

"You know what, you've had a hard day. You take a nap, and recharged, and all that."

"Wake up, you dumbass!"

"I was having this dream about this girl with really big thighs."

"In other words, a nightmare."

"What? Do you not find big thighs attractive?"

"Well, I guess everyone has their own personal opin- YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT!"

"What a wonderful day to experience an unabashedly horrfying piece of ribbon."

"It's a bow that makes bows, we could sell them for four dollars apiece! Cold hard cash, or credit."

"I'm gonna take a bunch of tampons and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!"

"Don't worry, I can fix this. Which is what I would've said if I knew how."

"Nah, I don't remember that at all."

"I know what I want, and I know what I deserve."

"Good, I'm glad you know. But I don't."

"That sounds like a load of shit, I don't believe you."

"My greatest wish is for you to be castrated by a scorpion."

"You take five steps near this thing I'll do a tap-dance on your ribcage!"

"And I'm running out of patience."

"Yes I know, you're a special snowflake, come on we're running out of time!"

"It seems like you thought I was asking for second opinion."

"I would rather die at the hands of a frisbee than chase whatever crazy taxi it is you want me to go get."

"In fact, I'm calling your bluff, asshole!"

"Kill me with that frisbee. Do it."

"Could we really just do that?"

"Has technology really come this far?"

"I wanted to be a surprise."

"Sooo, what do you like best about me?"

"You're not ruining the surprise for me."

"Surpriiiiiiiiiise~."

"We're gonna fucking kill ourselves, go to heaven, and steal Jesus' shoes."

"You should not have done this."

"Well I did, so it looks like you'll just have to kill me."

"The power that was once upon you, is no longer yours."

"This existence doesn't need you anymore."

"People will DIE! Just because you lost someone doesn't mean everybody has to!"

"You think I'm playing you? How do you think you got here."

"GET THIS SHIT OFF ME!"

"And, as it turns out, uhh, limited time was actually unlimited time, and so it's gonna be there forever."

"I got a signed poster of Flute from Spy Kids, I know you wanna see this!"

"Yawn, YAWWWN!"

"I've heard mention of _ and obviously I'm here for this reason."

"Not to belabor the point, but this has never worked."

"Is this the fake gamer girl equivalent to _, you fuckin’ snob?"

"I've learned all the racial slurs in existence, and I will recite them now."

"Uh, did you try shooting it?"

"WOAH, HEY NOW, flag on the plane! You can't just say that!"

"This is literally the worst possible time to be doing any of this."

"Wow, by some miracle of probability, your complete and utterly hairbrained scheme managed to garner one modicum of success and with this juncture I could not possibly see how this could go wrong."

"You thought you've got me, but jokes on you I have narcolepsy."

"Ah, well, alright. I don't really understand the implications of that but much better than the proposed outcome."

"If there's anything I've learned, it's that if it abides by the laws of physics, it simply cannot exist in this twisted, fucked up world."

"So, uh, yeah, I'm going to go home and asphyxiate on every stray cat I see on the way there."

"I don’t feel bad, I've just had enough, man. I have needs for pizza."

[quilly-glitterpillar]

Gogotte in 15th Anniversary

{First things first, credit where credit is due, shoutout to @puyohero who wrote a post about Tarutaru in 15th Anniversary once, which inspired me to do this one. (and thanks to them again for being supportive for me to write this!) Please consider reading their post, they did a great job writing it!

Second, if you wanna read out some extra notes about why I wrote some things the way I did, check out this post here with some extra info on this writing, thank gu!

Now enough talking, check the Read More for the entire thing~}

Order of Opponents: Onion Pixy - Raffine - Oshare Bones - Schezo - Ocean Prince - Lemres - Sig - Suketoudara

Vs Onion Pixy

Gogotte: So tournament, this is. Full of people, it is. Gogotte: And a prize… It has. Onion Pixy: … ... Gogotte: Oh…? Gogotte: Now, a fallen ingredient from my bag, this is? Onion Pixy: On! Onion! ONION! Gogotte: Hm. An ingredient, this seems not to be. Onion Pixy: Onion! Onion onion! Gogotte: My first opponent, perhaps, you are? Onion Pixy: Boing!! Onion!!! Gogotte: Very well. A match, it begins.

Win

Onion Pixy: On! Onion onion onion!!!

Gogotte: Not an ingredient. But quite cute, yes you are~!

Vs Raffine

Raffine: Oh… It’s you, from the woods. What was your name again? Gogotte: Seeing you again, a pleasure it is. Gogotte: In this tournament, everybody seems to be. Raffine: …Well yeah. Everybody is interested in proving out their strength. Raffine: And in getting the prize too. Gogotte: So many people. Hungry and tired, they might be. Gogotte: Hungry for soup, my soup. Yes, yes! Raffine: I want you to know I am NOT eating your soup. Raffine: Especially if you keep it in the same place you keep your potions. Gogotte: A Puyo match, worth of soup. How does that sounds?

Win

Raffine: I’m not too fond of accepting food from strangers. Just ask Lemres.

Gogotte: Plenty of soup, I have. Wonder why people aren’t interested on eating...

Vs Oshare Bones

Oshare Bones: Oh my, oh my. Oshare Bones: Your clothes sure are something. Practical to carry things, but rather simple and dull in style. Gogotte: The last of my concerns, my clothes are. Cooking is much more important. Oshare Bones: Now, just because you have hobbies, doesn’t means you can’t focus on your appearance. Oshare Bones: It doesn’t hurts to look your best every time, in case if people show up. Gogotte: But needs to be ready, my special soup. In case people show up. Gogotte: In fact. Interested in eating, are you? Oshare Bones: No, not really. All this talk about your distorted view on style and fashion made me lose my appetite. Oshare Bones: Instead, let’s have a match. I need something to calm down. Gogotte: A potion to calm down, I do lack. Gogotte: A Puyo match, it is!

Win

Oshare Bones: Perhaps I should take you out for some clothes shopping, while we’re at it.

Gogotte: As long I can cook, fashion just don’t interest me.

Vs Schezo

Schezo: Ugh, I have been here for a while now. I feel so tired. Schezo: But mostly, I’m famished. This place seems to lack food to feed me. Gogotte: You. Hungry, you seem. Hungry, you are. Schezo: Eh? How long have you been there? Are you lurking on me?! Gogotte: Special soup, I have! End your hunger, it will. Schezo: ...And you are just willing to give it to me? Schezo: What’s the trick? What did you put in that soup?? Gogotte: Tricks, there’s none. Mushrooms, all this soup has. Gogotte: It’s all yours, as long we have a match. Schezo: Ah-ha! So that’s your game! I’m only feed if I win! Schezo: So be it! Prepare yourself for my hard sword! Gogotte: … ...Huh?

Win

Schezo: I can’t help but have a feeling you’re kind of a creeper.

Gogotte: A certain way with words… you sure have, mister.

Vs Ocean Prince

Ocean Prince: Are you the weirdo who is trying to give people soup? Ocean Prince: Because all this playing and running away from my butler is making me hungry. Gogotte: Interested in my food, royalty like you, are? Gogotte: Why, what a honor, this is! Ocean Prince: So you’ve heard of me? Gogotte: A runaway prince, I have heard about, yes. Ocean Prince: ...Yes but, don’t tell my butler that you have seen me, okay? Ocean Prince: If you keep it quiet, I will give you a job as my personal chef. Gogotte: Personal chef? Ocean Prince: Yes yes! You will have the right to naps and snacks. And everybody in my castle will eat whatever food you serve them! Gogotte: Tempting, this does sounds. Gogotte: But freedom in the woods, I do love. Ocean Prince: Let’s settle this down with a match then!

Win

Ocean Prince: Now you don’t have the job AND you can’t tell my butler about me. Ha ha!

Gogotte: Work part time as a chef, I would kinda want to, honestly.

Vs Lemres

Lemres: H~e~l~l~o~! It's good to meet you. Can I interest you some candy? Gogotte: Interested in candy, I am not. Gogotte: However. Some of my soup, would you like? Lemres: I have eaten so much candy, I'm not sure if I have any room left for soup. Apologizes. Lemres: Are you sure you don't wanna eat, though? Lemres: I got all sorts of sweets with me. Not just lollipops or parfaits, but also sugar itself or honey. Gogotte: ... ... ... ... ... Gogotte: Honey. Would be very good. Lemres: Oh, you like honey too? Lemres: Let's do like that, if you win, I will give you four jars of honey! Lemres: If I win, you get just two. Gogotte: Your deal, I accept! Let's battle!

Win

Lemres: Are you okay? Here, you can still have the two jars.

Gogotte: Honey~ Do I love honey~!

Vs Sig

Sig: You're the soup guy. Hello. Gogotte: Good to see you again, yes it is. Gogotte: And hungry, yes you look. Sig: Yea, this tournament has been going on for a while. I could use some soup. Gogotte: Here here, eat up! Gogotte: ... ...Oh. More soup, I do need to make. Enough only for you, yes this is. Sig: Uh. I don't know. I'm so hungry I feel like I could eat much more than this. Gogotte: A distraction, you need. Buy me more time, to cook, yes. Sig: ... ... ... Sig: Can you cook and play Puyo at the same time? Gogotte: To find out, only one way!

Win

Sig: Well, guess you can’t cook and play at the same time.

Gogotte: More soup now, yes I have! But the tournament is almost over….

Vs Suketoudara

Gogotte: Hello. Friend of the prince, perhaps you are? Suketoudara: Ehh? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Suketoudara: I just got here a while ago. And I have been dancing solo ever since. Suketoudara: Nobody seems interested on my fabulous dancing moves or my pretty legs. Gogotte: Relate a little, I can. Interested in my soup, nobody seems. Gogotte: Hungry after all that dancing, are you? Suketoudara: The only hunger I feel is for more dancing and attention. Suketoudara: ….Although, this sure is smelling nice. Suketoudara: Would you be a pal too and watch me dance after I eat? Gogotte: Private dancing show, just for me? Gogotte: Honored and happy, I am! Suketoudara:  Fish! Suketoudara:  But first. I need to warm up, to avoid cramps. Gogotte: With a Puyo match, I presume?

Win

Suketoudara: I get victory, attention and soup. A good day for good ol’ Suketoudara!

Gogotte: Oh my. Cramps from the match, did you get?

Wish Ending with Ms Accord

Ms Accord: Congratulations, Mr. Gogotte. Gogotte: Succeed, I did it. How delightful~ Ms Accord: The medal will grant you one single wish of your choice. [Medal flash] Gogotte: Single wish. What could I ever want? Gogotte: People wanting my soup, yes I dream of. But of their own account and hunger, they must want it. Gogotte: So instead, something for myself I ask. For a source of honey, near my cabin. That’s my wish. Popoi: You want a BEEHIVE near your home? Ms Accord: … ...You might want to check your cabin to see if it worked, Mr. Gogotte.   Ms Accord: The medal isn’t a fan of bugs, so I’m unsure if the wish was granted. Gogotte: What? But just the hive itself, with no bugs, couldn’t the medal give me? Ms Accord: You only asked for a honey source, you didn’t specified what kind of source you wanted. Ms Accord: I apologize in advance if the wish didn’t work, though. Gogotte: Do not be. A lot of fun, I still had! Gogotte: And more excited to make more soup, yes I am. Honey or no honey.