#i kinda hate in general how school's seem to grade you based on how well you do things their way than the right way
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Magikey AU Kimiko's Backstory & Q&A
Kimiko's Information
"I'm not expected to become a Magikey user one day. They said, reality and fantasy are world of separate in two."
Kimiko is the eldest daughter of a famous political family and feels the weight of expectation falls on her shoulders since she is a child.
It seems that her life has been drawn, a carbon copy of her father's path - which was determined by the iron will of her three overbearing father's aunts. Just like they guided him, they are now trying to shape her.
Their approach is special, a twisted version of women’s empowerment. They call it "training," but it feels more like manipulation. The home classes focus on the art of swinging people, and the bridal training is the the future where they envision to Kimiko becomes the pawn of their political game. Their hope is not for her happiness, but for the progress of the family.
Kimiko hates it. The blatant disregard for gender equality, the weight of the suffocating family wishes and the ruthless manipulation of the people she cares about led her to reject her.
She yearns for some real life, a life built in her own way, rather than the faint blueprint of her aunt's ambitions. A different path waved, and she tried hard to forge it.
≿━━━━ ༺❀༻ ━━━━≾
Trivia
Her father always busy for politics, while her other dad follow her father's work. So she have less experience with them. Though they try to protect her, they didn't have a courage to fight against three aunts.
She also have two younger siblings. However, because of her busy with classes and training, their relationship became bland.
Kimiko studies in an elite upper school for ultra-rich that her family chosen, as they think an excellent education is good for a heir. But her grade wasn't very ideal.
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Q&A
Section 1 - Your OC Answers!
1. How does it feel to be a MagiKey user?
Kimiko: I don't know how describe it? Eh... It is great to be a hero and save the world? I think.
2. How popular are you in MagiKey rankings?
Kimiko: I might to be pay attention a lot, since I'm the one of them who help in situations during the battle.
3. Which MagiKey would you rather have than your own?
Kimiko: Fragria. Well, her magic is similar to me and her third signature magic is kinda cool.
4. Why did you become a MagiKey user?
Kimiko: I found a Magikey from my skateboard after that stupid crow flew away.
5. How long have you been in MagiKey
Kimiko: Two years. But I still need to learn from others and make myself more stronger.
Section 2 - You explain!
6. What is their motivation to keep being a magical user?
Kimiko wants to protect people, just like the wish she dreamed of being a magical girl as a kid.
7. How are they usually in a battle?
Kimiko's ability is to heal people with the basket of fresh red apples, attack with nature magic and create the portal to send dark energy return their origin place.
First ability is to healing wound from take a single bite of the reddest apple. Either physically or mentally wounds will be healed in no time.
Second ability is to manipulate the seeds and quickly add their growth to tricky vines, sharp branches, and even apple trees golem. These plant-based attacks put the enemy in trouble and act as a defensive wall.
Third ability is a manipulation of reality itself. The glittering portal tears open, not another place, but count down to the powers of the target. It has a limited control to use with the red gem attached golden wing, that connected to the energy from her Magikey.
8. How are their daily lives?
Due to the family background of a politician, Kimiko constantly have to take classes at home and have bridal training for future.
If there no classes, Kimiko will secretly go to the abandoned pool for skateboarding or gardening at the Shindo estate's garden with her dad.
9. What is their opinion on other MagiKey users in general?
Kimiko think other Magikey users are great with their magic and weapons.
Section 3 - Deeper Level
10. What are your OC's struggles as a MagiKey user?
Kimiko struggle for not helping others and might to be blamed. She worries that someone rebelled against the team and didn't want to make a teamwork together.
11. What is their favorite color?
Kimiko's favorite color is Dark Blue.
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Kimiko Shindo / "Apple" belongs to me
Magikey AU and Q&A belongs to @quartztwst
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#kimiko shindo#magikey au#magikey#twst x sk8#sk8 generation#sk8 the infinity
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Honkai Star Rail 1.4 spoilers
I super agree with OP on this point.
To further add to the USA parallels, the IPC also basically tried to buy a nation (Belobog) like how the USA “bought” the Philippines from Spain for 20 million dollars in 1898. I know what I’m talking about because they taught us about that in history class way back in grade school in the PH.
Some of my own thoughts as well:
I find it worrying how many people who played this quest or who play star rail in general think that the IPC is a “necessary evil.” That’s probably what the billion dollar corporation Hoyoverse wants you to take away from the game, but this idea that they’re the only ones who can help a group native to a certain area “develop” — based on standards of development imposed upon the group by the outsiders — is rhetoric used by colonizers IRL as well. Going back to the USA, they viewed their colonization of the Philippines as some kind of “benevolent assimilation.”
There are also people who’re like: why do you guys hate the IPC and Topaz but not the Stellaron Hunters or the Antimatter Legion? First, I think the Stellaron Hunters are cool for ruining an auction since I don’t really like those things due to how materialistic they make us. Also, their goals along with the Antimatter Legion’s goals are more abstract.
Individuals IRL have to deal with corporations and their BS regularly, while thieves/terrorists controlled by a guy who can see the future, and a faction full of people who just want to destroy everything, aren’t things we experience every day.
Now, I’m not saying it’s never okay to show evils that hit closer to home, but it felt like Hoyoverse was trying to justify the stances of people complicit in the actions of terrible corporations via Topaz.
And may I just say that the inherent idea of a corporation just feels evil to me, and not necessary.
I don’t hate Topaz, and while I’d like to think that it’s because of her seeming sympathetic, it’s really just because of pretty privilege and Numby. Also she’s voiced by someone who’s part Filipino in the EN dub so yeah.
I’m aware that I might not be too charitable in my interpretation of Hoyo’s intentions with the 1.4 quest, but man am I not inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt after the stuff they pulled with the Sumeru designs in Genshin and the racism of Paimon.
Also, I’m kinda worried about how Star Rail is gonna deal with these themes later on, especially with censorship from the CCP.
I still enjoy the game, but I think it’d be good to more critically look at everything Hoyoverse does from here.
Between this and the subtle-as-a-brick support of cryptocurrency through Hertareum and stuff with Herta, things are looking kinda bleak.
just finished the Jarilo-VI - future market quest and I was thinking
the IPC is basically the USA in space. if you don't agree with their system they'll show you some of their "democracy" (with their army)
#hsr#honkai star rail#honkai star rail 1.4 spoilers#hsr ramblings#hsr topaz#belobog#hsr belobog#i hope we get to burn down the IPC#i know im late#but i needed time#to collect my thoughts
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Y/n looking at Jojos as competitions/rivals (hcs)
Summary: You consider the Jojos a rival, and competition when it gets to grades and all, they never did anything to you but you’re just generally annoyed at them because you think they’re better than you and you’re annoyed that they are better than you, you’re not jealous just annoyed that they exceeded you. (basically enemies to lover for short) Inspiration: Based on real life thoughts with a person honestly lmaO I really think they are a compeition(they don’t know) but in the end it’s just a friendly thing. Disclaimers: Underage smoking (Just because this action is being done here it doesn’t mean you should do it too, for both my adult and teen audiences i rlly don’t recommend this and just because I used it in this fic doesn’t mean you should do it as well) , and mentions of violence, or implied violence, drugs are also mentioned( i repeat i do not encourage these behaviours in real life) Header: Orange Other writings: Masterlist/Taglist Requests/questions: Ask/Request Box
Jojos as your Rivals
Jonathan Joestar
✧ God. To you he was really annoying, teachers praised him and he was a top student in the rankings and a teacher’s pet, you’d never see him complain, cry, or anything at all.
✧ Of course he was the class president and a student council so it annoyed you more since he was kind of like a mary sue in your eyes, the fact that he got good grades and doesn’t seem to have a hard time in the things he does really annoy you.
✧ You were in the top 3 top students except you’re in 3rd place and you could never beat Jonathan, moreover he’s also an athlete and you were bothered that girls were practically drooling to him. But despite this you’ll never do anything to seek revenge, you won’t embarrass him or frame him because you still have morals.
✧ Though you were just grumpy and passive agressive to him sometimes whenever the teacher asks him to help you, you really didn’t like receiving help from him because for you, you think that’s a sign of weakness.
✧ Of course you get parterned up with him a big project that was considered as your examination and you hated it. You treated it more of a individual work, but after knowing him a bit from that project you kinda like how he acted, polite, kind and patient.
✧ Everytime he sees you struggle and you decline for help he’ll just go behind you or besides you and either guide your hands to fix it or he’ll fix it himself and he’ll just smile afterwards, it was really cute and you’ll mentally slap yourself for liking him, were you forgetting he was rival?
✧ He’ll slowly consider you as a friend and he would really really feel guilty for assuming that you were a rude person base on you act towards him but he eventually thinks that you’re a kind person in the inside but a bit stubborn and he finds that cute.
✧ If it’s a love story you and him will secretly date and its not obvious to the world that you two are dating, you were never touchy with him in public, you two still acted the same honestly, a bit stubborness coming from you and stubborness from Jonathan because he’s really willing to help you with everything, eitherway you two only have playful fights and a few REAl arguments here an there but you two eventually make up again a few days later.
✧ If it’s a platonic relationship you two would be the bestest of friends and you two would have playful arguments and some people would literally ship you two because of your friendship.
Joseph Joestar
✧ This guy was intelligent but lazy and yet he still gets 1st place in the class as a top student with A+ grades, and you found it also annoying that he was naturally talented and effortlessly got them, you sometimes wonder if he cheats.
✧ And because you think he cheats you go out of your way to site his essays and public works to see if he uses references or anything, but no this guy is just naturally talented and you felt like he didn’t deserve especially with his laid off attitude.
✧ Now you don’t show your passive aggressive side to him because you know better not to make him think that you’re literally angry at him, for you he’s just a competition and another boss level to defeat, it’s not personal just a fun thing you do so you don’t take out your anger out on him.
✧ He is also an athlete, of course the Joestar bloodline and legacy literally revolves around the sports they take, so it was no surprise, you on the other hand is also an athlete and you would most likely take the competition seriously whenever there’s a boys vs girls basketball game, you were the MVP let’s just say, sports was like your whole life.
✧ Of course there’s an annual event that the high school hosts where as every student will be competing against each other, the remaining 4 players will be the ones set out to compete to another sports festival in a different school. They will choose 4 players per sport.
✧ Of course you chose to marathon since you were honestly swift and that was more on your main sport, running. And it was Joseph’s as well and you two had to compete with each other among other students, he’ll say something cocky to you that is enough to motivate you to defeat him.
✧ Eventually you and Joseph were one of the 4 people chosen to compete in another school, and though it took awhile for you two to agree on things you two won the tournament with teamwork and ever since then your friend consists of constant and non stop teasing and playful banters.
✧ “What do you mean? I clearly made our team win!” he’d say and you’d just roll your eyes at his cockiness. Though you’d retort with something cocky as well.
Jotaro Kujo
✧ You honestly don’t know why this guy was even a top student he often gets into fights and the teachers just shrug it off, you find it annoying he gets to answer everything before you and finish quizzes before you and you get so pissed and can’t understand why is he quick and he doesn’t seem like a type to review.
✧ He’s pissed at every fangirl he has and he is pissed at you sometimes as well because you try avoiding him, yeah he’s aware of your competitiveness and he doesn’t really care that much.
✧ But you do so you basically you’re like legit pissed at him and you think that he also doesn’t deserve his intelligence since he’s just wasting it away by smoking cigarettes at the back of the school and fighting people it was honestly annoying and you wish you had his intelligence at the same time.
✧ Unlike the others maybe in this one you’re being constantly pressured by high grades so you started smoking as well to relieve your stress, you’d somberly sulk at the back of the school as well smoking your problems away it made you feel calm for some reason. ✧ He sees you there and mumbles a “Tch” while he adjusts his cap and walk near you and light up his cigarette and doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t honestly care what you were doing, anyone was allowed to do anything they want to do so he left you there. ✧ Honestly he started getting concerned of you when you were often doing it, even he knew that too much is too much. “ That’s enough” he’ll say and take your cigarette pack away, “Touche” you’ll just roll your eyes and walk away. He’d always stop you from smoking, you were getting addicted honestly and it’s not helping since every minute you were getting stressed out. ✧ When you’re not listening to him he’ll agressively tell you to “cut it off bitch.” or something along those lines, and you didn’t really know he was a person who hid his feelings so you snapped and scolded him that you were a mess because of him and took out all of your anger and left honestly. ✧ He couldn’t care less what you said about him and tried to accompany you at the back of the school or in the rooftops everytime it’s break or the end of classes, he didn’t speak that much but he was a good listener and constantly listened to your problems, eventually this is a routine and you treasured every second of it. ✧ It became a thing that you two basically sit on the rooftop talking to each other, from then on he’d accompany you outside of school as well and you two would hangout and it would be nice quiet moments when he’s around, he’s also a very protective friendship. Josuke Higashikata ✧ This guy really doesn’t care about his grades and yet he gets high score it was also annoying that teachers adore him, and that every girl adores him as well. Unfortunately you two were partners for a spelling Bee. Only professors were allowed to choose who participates, and though Josuke might not be accurate with his english pronounciations and spellings he still had high grades and it annoyed you that he got to participate his weak subjects just because he has high grades. ✧ Honestly he’d hate it as well and would just play games all day long instead of studying or anything, and during the spelling bee he didn’t help at all and you were pissed at him. Even though you were softly and passive agressively scolding him he didn’t get mad back and just said a “Okay okay! I’m sorry.” he’ll apologize and try to study but he’ll get distracted. ✧ Teachers still continued to praise him and gave no praise to you at all even though you carried your partner to the finish line, that’s why you hated Josuke, he was loved by everyone and you never understood why, was it his personality? Smarts? What was it? ✧ From that then you’ll break into his house with no permission and catch him playing video games. You’ll scold him to study the words and act like a strict teacher towards him, he dozed off a lot and was laid back and distracted, yet he was still able to answer some of them. ✧ This is why you didn’t like him he was too laid back and didn’t seem to take things seriously, because of this you suggested a break and he went back t o playing his video games and getting frustrated, and even though you were tight while teaching him he was kind enough to still offer you to play with him. You were going to decline but you still accepted it. ✧ This is where you saw his true personality, he talked about a lot of things and you two ended up having fun as you two play, you didn’t mind this moment and you’d want it to treasure it forever honestly. You brought up your personality as well to him, you started showing your true colors and he really liked the fact that you weren’t an overbearing person at all. ✧ ever since then you two manage to win the competitions and manage to play at the same time. You two became the bestest friends which was unexpected since you considered him as a rival, though you’re still annoyed because everytime you ask him to teach you he’ll teach really badly and you wouldn’t understand anything from him. Giorno Giovanna ✧ This guy was a quiet yet smart type, he often sits at the back of the class dazing off the window and yet still able to answer questions of the teacher even when not paying attention. ✧ Though you compete with him you know not to mess with him honestly, though a lot of really negative rumours constantly spread about him. Like his family problem and things like that so you pity him at some times. ✧ Girls adore him, something about the Joestars getting fangirls annoys you a lot. They baby him, and even though sometimes he gets annoyed and straightforwadly tells them to go away sometimes he’d entertain them and be kind. Teachers always saw him as a role model student it makes you barf. ✧He’ll also probably hangout with his school gang, nobody knows what this gang does honestly, the teachers just leave him be just because they want to just leave him be and they’re too naive; thinking that it’s just a normal innocent gang where it’s a group of kids hanging out. ✧ You caught up his ‘gang’ beating up someone and since you were a witness he saw you as a immediate threat(or so you though) and this quiet kid did a whole 180 with his personality and looked at you menacingly. ✧ You don’t know how to approach him that you won’t tell anyone you’ve witnessed and always ran away everytime he approaches you or everytime his gang approaches you. Now your rivalary and competiting against grades is now ruined because this guy could always beat you anyday when it gets to physical fights, or so you thought. ✧ You always ate lunch at the rooftop so he kind of took this opportunity to calmly sit besides you and talk to you about what you saw, he just wanted to give you context so that you wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Apparently that guy was an adult selling drugs to a bunch of graduating elementary kids. ✧ You were relieved he wasn’t gonna beat you up and put you in the sewers, you took this time to also talk to him to actually see he was a nice guy, a gentle man and that you thought he was a cocky student because you always assumed him like that, not only that but you assumed him being a playboy as well since he gets so much attention. ✧ You confess all of this to him and he let’s out a quick chuckle and you just laugh as you confess all of your thoughts and competitiveness against him, he was a good listenered actually, and didn’t take it really personally, he knew deep inside that you were a good person even though before you used to give him a scary glare when you two didn’t talk yet. ✧ From that day on you start catching up to him in the hallways and talk and all his fangirls would practically hate you and give you glares as you two are having a good time. ✧ He’ll make sure you’re out of his school gang businesses and arguments with other gangs, he may not say or sometimes express it but he always cares for you and tries to be supportive in littliest ways such as listening and remembering to every detail you tell him. ✧ you’d still playfully compete with him and if he wins you’re okay with it unlike before
Thanks for reading! Reqs are open! My only requirements is no nsfw and probbably not part 5 yet since im not there hihi.(P.s I do canon x oc :) ) Sorry for not uploading for awhile
#jojo x reader#jjba x reader#jojo fanfic#jojo scenario#jojo scenarios#scenarios#jjba scenarios#Jotaro headcanons#jotaro kujo#jotaro x reader#giorno x reader#giorno headcanons#josuke x reader#josuke headcanons#josuke higashikata#jjba part 4#jjba part 5#jjba part 3#jjba part 2#jjba part 1#jjba phantom blood#jjba diamond is unbreakable#stardust crusaders#golden wind#Battle tendency#joseph joestar x reader#reader insert#x reader#reader#jonatha joestar x reader
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Part V (2/3): chapters 58~60
Chapter 58
[About Sukuna’s fingers resonating with one another]
"The ones that possess an immense presence. The ones that are hiding. The ones that are already taken in by cursed spirits."
⇒ "1) The ones with too big presences. 2) The ones holding their breath. 3) The ones already absorbed by cursed spirits."
I added the numbers for explanation purposes, see below.
"One of Sukuna's fingers was hidden by a cursed spirit. When Itadori consumed the finger in June, it released its cursed energy"
⇒ "The Sukuna fingers that had been absorbed were holding back their power [while] inside cursed spirits. Then they unleashed their cursed energy with Itadori's incarnation [of Sukuna] in June serving as a trigger."
Whelp. On top of extremely simplifying the explanation, they mixed up the kind of Sukuna finger involved here - it was very explicitly stated in the text that it was number 3) "absorbed" (assimilated) fingers, and not 2) "hiding" fingers.
I guess saying that Itadori consumed the finger isn't wrong plot wise but it's actually referred to (here and many times more in the manga) as "incarnation"! The same word also gets used for the death painting brothers.
[Megumi remembering a conversation with Gojou]
"I was surprised you asked me to train you"
⇒ "It's rare for you to ask me for a practice, Megumi"
"To train you" wasn't wrong but Gojou saying "it's rare" here points to it either happening occasionally or having happened in the past and I'm not sure "I was surprised" quite conveys that.
"Are you feeling pressure because of Yuji's growth?"
⇒ "Did you get impatient after getting surpassed by Yuuji?"
Gojou actually says that Yuuji has surpassed Megumi here! Quite a different nuance from just "Yuji's growth".
"Megumi, your skill and potential are probably higher than Yuji's. All that’s left is the mental aspect"
⇒ “You know, Megumi, I think that both your real ability and potential are in no way inferior to Yuuji's. (...)"
Emphasis mine because pray tell, how does one reach the conclusion that "don't lose out to"/"aren't inferior to" equals to "are probably higher". “Skill” was fine btw but I’d probably go with “mindset” for the last line, personally.
[Gojou explaining why he thinks Megumi doesn’t know how to make a serious effort giving the baseball game as an example]
“Why did you bunt? You sacrificed yourself so that Nobara could advance. Well, good for you"
⇒ "Why did you make a sacrifice bunt? Did you want to advance Nobara to the next base even if it meant you'd be out yourself? That's commendable"
The nuance for the last line was just different - the word used there usually is just used as praise, either genuine or ironic but imo “good for you” has a different meaning. Also he says “out” but it’s written as “death” (although that is sometimes the case in baseball as well.)
“But no matter how many allies you have around you, you'll always die alone"
⇒ “(...) when you die, you’re alone”
I tried to phrase it a bit closer to the original because I feel like the nuance may just be different for this line but can’t quite put a finger on the how.
[Gojou to Megumi]
"To die and then win, and dying victoriously are two completely different things, Megumi"
⇒ "To win by dying and to win even if you die are completely different, Megumi"
Emphasis by Gege. Ngl, I had no clue what the English was trying to say here… This is most likely what the line actually meant.
[Megumi regaining his consciousness after he blacked out from getting hit]
"How long was I out? Was my divine dog destroyed? No, my technique's finished"
Actually "my technique got undone". Putting it as "has finished" is imo both unclear and misleading. Similar situation as in ch. 1 (refer to part I).
[Lead-up to Megumi using a domain expansion for the first time]
"A jujutsu sorcerer's growth never comes easy"
⇒ "The growth curve of a sorcerer isn’t always gentle"
Mostly, the line was more intricate in the original but also the grammatical construction used here that they mistranslated as "never" actually means "not always [necessarily]” instead.
"Here we go!!"
Not really incorrect but it's kinda generic and I guess something like "I'm gonna do it!" is closer nuance wise.
"With a firm base, skill and imagination, a person can change thanks to the slightest of events"
⇒ "A firm foundation, a handful of sense, and imagination. Then, [even] with a most insignificant opportunity, a person will change"
A pity they simplified "a handful of sense" into just "skill" here. Overall not really incorrect but I wanted to propose something that imo better conveys the original wording and vibe.
“Area expansion”
…”area”? What? Obviously this is actually “domain expansion”. I just don’t have words.
“Think bigger! My technique’s interpretation!”
First sentence actually referred to the second one, so it’s actually something like “Expand it!! The technique’s interpretation!!”
[Megumi to the cursed spirit after his shikigami deals it a finishing blow]
"Divine dog's claws even hurt it...You were no match!"
"(...) So something like piercing through you when you're not even paying attention was easy"
Less excitement, more dismissiveness, I’d say? Also, for the divine dog it’s actually specified that it’s “divine dog (totality)” and not just simply “divine dog”. The term appeared before in ch. 47.
Chapter 59
[Megumi talking about what he considers the basic rule for human interactions in a flashback to his middle school years]
"Basically, you shouldn't cross any line that violates another person's dignity. You should acknowledge each other's mutual existence. That's the rule. You ignored it and fed your stupid ego"
⇒ "In short, it's drawing a line in order not to jeopardise one another's dignity; [it’s] a process through which both parties can coexist. That's what the "rule" is”. You broke it, throwing your weight around and forcing everyone to walk on eggshells around you”
For the first sentence, Megumi says “it’s drawing a line”, so the nuance here was probably closer to “creating boundaries” rather than “crossing boundaries” like in the official English release. For the second sentence, the original literally says “the process through which one another’s existence is achieved”, so rather than acknowledging each other’s existence the sentiment is probably closer to live and let live? For the last sentence, they once again simplified it to the barest bones.
"I'll definitely tell Ikezawa and everyone today that we're not their lapdogs"
“You got this, Aida!”
"But we might be the next punching bags, so don't go overboard!"
Should be “Ikezawa and others'' and definitely “that I’m not their errand boy” for the smallest boy’s first line. If all of them were already being treated as errand boys like the way using the plural form here implies, the other student’s reply wouldn’t make sense.
[After Tsumiki sees Megumi has beaten up delinquents once again]
“You said you wouldn’t pick fights anymore”
“You’re not my mom”
⇒ (...) “Don’t act like you’re my guardian”
Imo the distinction is significant because there’s a possibility that Tsumiki as the older of the two probably did feel responsible for Megumi to an extent and acted accordingly, as if she was his guardian.
Also, he doesn’t actually say “mom” - this is not the first time where the official English release opts for a gendered phrase where the original uses a neutral form. (Like making Yuuji say his grandpa was like a dad to him when he actually said parent all the way back in ch. 2.)
[Megumi’s thoughts from back in the middle school]
"I hate bad guys with no brains and zero emotional capability. Walking around feeling proud. Disgusting."
⇒ "I hate bad people. The way they act like they’re superior, with their complete lack of imagination or sensitivity. Disgusting”
I guess I really dislike the way they worded it here, especially the “no brains” part since Megumi wasn’t really talking about intellect or smarts here but about imagination (and sensitivity), which he literally describes as being akin to "vacant lot", "empty lot", "raw land”, which is much more evocative.
"I hate goody-goodies forgiving bad people, justifying mercy. Makes me wanna puke"
⇒ "I hate good people. The way they forgive such bad people and perceive that act of forgiveness as something noble. They make me sick"
Mhm, way to just simplify the heck out of the whole line. I’m extra bothered by their use of “goody-goodies” here since this is yet another appearance of a rather formal word for “good person” (善人/zennin) in the original and which I’ve observed to be a very important part of the world-building in jjk. I discuss it at length in various previous installments, with notable examples including: ch. 9 (Megumi about Yuuji and about the kind of people he wants to save - part I), ch. 31 (Nanami and Yuuji’s conversation in the aftermath of the Junpei incident - part III 2/2), ch. 36 (Panda about Yuuji - part IV 2/5).
“Tsumiki, you’re a perfect example of a good person.”
See, the word he uses here to describe Tsumiki is the same as in the line above (善人) but because back then it got translated as “goody-goodies”, you’d never guess it since the vibes are just that different.
[Megumi reminiscing about meeting Gojou for the first time]
"In the first grade, my dad and Tsumiki's mom got married and separated just as quickly"
⇒ "When I was in the first grade of elementary school my father and Tsumiki’s mother, our respective single parents, got together and disappeared into thin air"
The original doesn’t mention marriage OR separation. Heck, especially for the second one, it doesn’t even come close to mentioning it?? I have no clue where they got this from.
What I put as “got together” can also be translated as “to have a liaison with (a man or a woman)” (among others). Since Tsumiki’s surname is also “Fushiguro” in middle school, it’s possible that they were actually married and many Japanese fans seem to think that as well but it’s not explicitly stated, at least not here, so those are most likely speculations.
As for mysterious “separation”, the word used here actually means "disappearance (of people intentionally concealing their whereabouts); unexplained disappearance", so imo the whole section means their parents got together and at some point both disappeared. As we learn at one point in the manga Touji first and Tsumiki’s mum sometime later.
(Btw, one fan scanlation used “evaporation” here instead and while this is another possible translation of the word in question, imo from the context it’s clear that the intended meaning was the “unexplained disappearance” instead.)
Lastly, Megumi uses kind of formal expressions when referring to both his own dad and Tsumiki’s mum, which imo is indicative of the emotional distance.
[Tiny Megumi about teenager Gojou]
"A weirdo with white hair said"
⇒ "A suspicious man with white hair"
Needless to say, he doesn't actually call Gojou a weirdo.
[Gojou about Touji]
"But he's a loser that just works for me. He left the family and had you."
⇒ "He's enough of a good-for-nothing to take aback even me. Basically, he left home and then had you."
Emphasis mine. Again, I literally have no clue where they got the translation they went with for this. “Works for me” - just what?? (Btw, one of the fan scans available for this had the latter part of this line mistakenly imply that Gojou had Megumi leave his house. The bit definitely referred to Touji leaving the Zen’in family.)
"You're something your dad used against the Zen'in family. His trump card"
⇒ “You’re something your father kept as his strongest card against the Zen’in family”
A bit of a different nuance than “your dad used” suggests.
"The divorce money makes sense now. I was sold to this Zen'in family"
⇒ "The mystery behind the funds for their disappearance got solved. Apparently, I was sold to this Zen’in family or something"
Again, the word for “divorce” doesn’t make an appearance ANYWHERE in this chapter, least of all this page. ...How.
Once again - fan scans had this as money that also evaporated but neither it nor the official English release make sense, considering the line is followed up by “I was sold” as the explanation. So yeah, imo the first sentence definitely referred to the money Megumi considered necessary for Touji (and co’s) disappearance.
[Gojou referring to Touji basically selling Megumi off]
"Sucks, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, it's annoying. Especially your attitude."
⇒ “It pisses you off, doesn’t it”
“Yeah, it does piss me off. Especially that lack of delicacy of yours”
I mentioned it multiple times but imo repetition in the original text tends to be done on purpose and as a device and imo this was another example where this was the case. Megumi borrows Gojou’s words here. (Which mean “to be irritated, “to be angry” and not “it sucks”.)
[Megumi continuing about Gojou]
"But that annoying guy wrote off the situation with the Zen'in family. He made a promise that we would work as sorcerers in the future. We would be collateral and receive financial support from Jujutsu High in exchange."
⇒"This man pisses me off, but it was him who cancelled the deal with the Zen'in family, and made it so we would receive financial support from the technical college with me working as a sorcerer in the future [serving] as collateral for it”
I don’t know why they’d translate it as “we would work” here since who the “we” would be supposed to even entail other than Megumi himself? Surely not Tsumiki. Or Gojou. Also, putting the next bit as “we would be collateral” makes it sound kind of dehumanising to me, ngl, whereas Megumi was talking about his labour here.
Also, the same phrase for “pisses off” as above got used once again, which makes it three times in a row, so imo that was definitely a deliberate stylistic choice on Gege’s part.
“Jujutsu sorcerers. How stupid.
⇒ "Sorcerers, what even. How nonsensical"
Just proposing an alternate wording.
[Megumi about the curse Tsumiki got hit by]
"All we knew was that we didn't know anything. Tsumiki still sleeps."
The word used to describe Tsumiki’s state literally means “became bedridden”, which imo heavily implies she fell into a coma. “Still sleeps” is most likely a misunderstanding on the translator’s part since the word sounds like it’d mean that (but it doesn’t.)
[Megumi about Tsumiki]
"Always smiling and saying nice things"
⇒ “Always smiling and spouting lip service”
Another case where the translator seems to have translated the word based on the way it’s written as opposed to checking the actual meaning. (The “nice things” phrase.)
"It's not a bad thing to not forgive people. Megumi, that's your way of showing kindness."
⇒ “Not being able to forgive people isn’t a bad thing. That’s your kindness, Megumi”
It wasn’t just “not to forgive” but “not being able to forgive”! Which imo would imply the next line’s nuance was something similar to Tsumiki considering Megumi’s inability to forgive people to be something that stems from his kindness (e.g. because he can’t stand seeing injustice).
"Even spinning my short-comings in a positive light."
⇒ “She would affirm even my nature"
Imo this line was more of Tsumiki accepting Megumi as he is or at least that’s what the line says - makes sense with what I proposed for the line above too. Translating it the way they did in the official release kind of feels like overinterpreting.
"But even she would get upset when I hurt somebody. I was annoyed by the hypocrisy"
⇒ "But even such Tsumiki would get genuinely angry (...). I would get annoyed thinking she was a stickler to the rules and a hypocrite"
Emphasis mine. The phrase that the translators seem to have skipped here and I translated as "stickler to the rules" literally means "to play it safe", "to avoid trouble at all cost".
"Yeah, I know. I was immature. I'm sorry so please wake up already"
“I’m sorry, I was a brat. I’ll apologise so just wake up already, stupid older sister”
Just a different nuance and tone for the whole line.
"All I did was get rid of the Yasohachi bridge curse. My sister's sleeping curse is a separate matter."
⇒ "This Yasohachi bridge curse was probably only overlapping with it, and the curse that caused Tsumiki to fall into a coma probably hasn't been lifted"
The official English release makes it sound like sleeping (or more correctly, the coma) was the nature of the curse that Tsumiki was put under, whereas imo the original indicates it just as its effect, which is an important distinction.
“As for the finger and Itadori…”
⇒ “What should I tell Itadori about the finger...”
The “tell”, “say” is only implied here but it’s pretty clear from the context that was the meaning. Also, he explicitly says “to Itadori” here.
[After the Yasohachi bridge curse got defeated by Megumi who then retrieved the Sukuna finger from it]
"All of sudden I feel a presence. Did the finger get out of the barrier? Whoever took out the finger bearer is quite formidable."
⇒ “The huge presence that appeared all of sudden... Did Sukuna's finger get out of the barrier? If it was a sorcerer that exorcised the finger's host, they must be quite good......."
Emphasis mine on bits that got cut out in the official release. Because Esou was facing off Nobara, he probably assumed it’s likely there may be other sorcerers present and imo that’s what this line also suggests.
"Even so... The finger... Even if they fought against a special-grade and won, They more than likely didn't come out of it unscathed. I hope they're okay."
Just to clarify that the word used for “they” in the original indicates the speaker knows the people in question, so those were Nobara’s thoughts here.
Chapter 60
[Esou to Yuuji and Nobara after he activates his wing king technique]
“Start running and turn your backs to me”
“Run. With your backs turned to me” would fit better nuance and mood wise. (Esou didn’t want to show his back to anyone so now he’s’ forcing them to show theirs.)
[Nobara to Yuuji after he scooped her up because she couldn’t run as fast as he could]
“I got your back”
“Okay”
“Okay” isn’t incorrect per se but the word has the nuance of “I’m counting on you”.
[Nobara to Yuuji after he speeded through the forest while carrying her, allowing them to escape from Esou's technique]
"Well done, you deserve some praise"
“Yeah, yeah”
“Just kidding. Thanks!”
⇒ "You have my praise." (...)
Actually a set phrase! Spoken from a rather elevated/superior POV, which is why Nobara later reiterates that she’s genuinely thankful. Also, I probably would just go with a period for “Thanks”, imo nuance wise it didn’t require an exclamation mark and it’s not there in the original either.
[Esou after Yuuji gets splashed with Kechizu’s blood]
"There's no need to worry. My younger brother's blood isn't the same quality as mine"
Actually "doesn't have the same properties like mine”.
"You wouldn't even die from mine unless you were drowned in it."
Much closer to something like "unless you were to bathe your whole body in it".
"But it does hurt like hell"
⇒ "But it does hurt to death"
Not really wrong meaning wise but in the original it was “to death” instead of “like hell”, which combined with a previous line was probably a wordplay. "You won't die but it does hurt to death"
[Esou explaining how his and Kechizu’s shared technique works]
"If you take in one of our brother's blood and if one brother activates a technique"
Idk if it's clear here but it most likely doesn't matter which brother does which (could even be the same one). Also, definitely should’ve been “the” or “this” for technique, since Esou has just stated on the same page he’s now going to start laying out how a specific technique of he and his brother’s functions.
[Esou replying to Yuuji]
"Yes, the result is essentially poison. Our technique is 'decomposition'"
Should be “but what our technique is, is actually ‘decomposition’” nuance wise.
"It's activated now. In reality they'll be dead faster than that”
⇒ “Done with technique disclosure, so in reality (...)”
Emphasis mine. You know, the rule in jujutsu where if you explain your technique to your opponent, it gets a buff? “Activation” is just wrong here.
While it’s not phrased as such, the phenomenon is first explained in ch. 20 during Nanami’s explanation to Yuuji (refer to part II 2/2). It also gets mentioned by name later in the manga but oftentimes the official release would either skip it or word it completely differently so it’s hard to tell, like in ch. 51, when Hanami realises Toudou has lied to him (part IV 5/5).
[The history of how cursed wombs came to be]
"[In the beginning of the Meiji era] there was a girl with special genetic makeup who bore a cursed-spirit child"
Actually “with an idiosyncrasy that allowed her to get pregnant with the child of a cursed spirit”! Imo an important distinction since it’s not certain whether her first child that gets discussed here was born prematurely or not and the following pregnancies were all aborted.
"A child born of mixed blood - both cursed spirit and human.”
Skipped “grotesque child” at the end.
“It was a mysterious pregnancy. She would be ostracized by family and friends.”
⇒ "Starting from a pregnancy she had no recollection of, [followed by] the oppression from her kith and kin, it made her go insane"
This latter part of this section is filled to the brim with complicated language so I’m not entirely sure but I think this might’ve been the intended meaning of the line. The official translators were probably struggling with the vocabulary too, so they cut out some stuff entirely, to be precise - the go insane part. It’s the bit I’m not certain about myself but I scoured Japanese dictionaries and that’s the meaning that seemed to be the best fit among the options.
Anyway, to reiterate - the bit about the pregnancy actually says that the girl herself didn’t even know (couldn’t remember) how it came to be. The part about the relatives doesn’t mention friends, it’s actually a set phrase that means “one's relatives by blood and marriage (in blood and law); one's kith and kin” - I went here with the latter since it’s shorter and fits the overall vibe of the line.
“She would hold the corpse of the child and flee to a temple in the mountains. The temple was run by jujutsu sorcerers. However, her luck had run out."
⇒ “(...) However, this was when her luck run out”
Other than the nuance in the last line, this isn’t mistranslated but the whole section just flowed differently in the original and felt less disjointed.
Also! One of the scanlations I’ve seen had it misspelled as “Noshitori” but the evil sorcerer’s name is actually “Kamo Noritoshi” (and yes, it’s the same as the young Kamo but the “toshi” is written with different characters).
"The child born from a cursed spirit and human would become a prisoner of intellectual curiosity"
⇒ "His [Kamo Noritoshi's] intellectual curiosity would be taken captive by children born between a cursed spirit and a human"
Very much the other way around. It's very clear in the original that the subject of the sentence was Kamo's intellectual curiosity and not the child.
"Death painting wombs: numbers 1-3. Cursed objects worthy of special grade."
Closer to "cursed objects powerful enough to be classified as special grade"
"Did cursed energy originate from a mother's hatred? No..."
It's specified here as "did their cursed energy" instead (emphasis mine), and the question is actually left unanswered......................................................... So yeah, congrats on getting rid of this very intended ambiguity. It's something like "or was it maybe--"
[About cursed wombs]
"For 150 years, with only the notion of one another's existence, they would survive, sealed away"
⇒ "For 150 years, they endured the seal, relying only on one another's existence"
"The notion" just doesn't capture the sentiment of the line at all, which imo is most likely the follow-up to the narrator's musings about the origin of the death painting's immense cursed energy. (See above.)
"We're siding with that cursed spirit."
Actually "siding with them", read as "them" but written as "the cursed spirits" - probably plural as the original literally says "the side of the cursed spirits", so it possibly means cursed spirits as a whole as well, aside of Mahito and co specifically. Remember, the brothers are actually half-humans too. I explain in depth the “written as but read as” device in part IV 4/5 (ch. 48, Toudou’s “my friend” phenomenon).
"The future that the cursed spirits have painted is more suited for us. But that's it. Forget about what we owe for our freedom"
Not incorrect per se but Chousou actually says “forget the debt we owe them of our incarnation”, which would make it yet another instance where the official English release has cut out the term entirely. (Emphasis mine.)
[Nobara after stating that a technique that assures a win as long as it hits an opponent is indeed powerful]
"I'm a bad match for you!!"
Actually “the worst match [possible]” - more confidence in the line!
[Nobara to the death painting brothers after using Resonance on herself thus redirecting their attack back at them]
"Let's play a game of chicken, shall we?"
The actual wording is “contest of endurance”, I’m not entirely sure if the two have the same connotation.
[part v (3/3)]
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OOOOOOO I love this au it’s a really fun concept
I’m gonna combine it with some thoughts I had about it because I got super excited (some stray from your idea so that I can fit it into my thoughts about the education in remnant)
Ok SO I think that because of the way in the first few volumes they talk about signal and getting into beacon and schooling in general my personal opinion is that there’s different schooling for children who are being educated to later become huntresses and huntsmen even pre beacon and those academy’s and I think it’s starts pretty young because it would make sense in the Rwby world to have the general public taught completely differently then huntsmen
Because in a world where everything revolves around grim and we constantly see the consequences of people trying to live without huntsmen there’s definitely a LOT of propaganda about how great they are even BLAKE thinks they’re supposed to be perfect virtuous soldiers
And atlas try’s to combine it’s huntresses with its military so their schools pre academy schooling would probably be crazy
ALSO
Imagine if in this kinda thing the friends he pulled strings with was ironwood
Who is a family friend and also seems to despite some animosity towards Qrows ways of doing things seems to really adore their family (it’s a family of only ozpins future or current soldiers a man he follows like a god and later attempts to kill like one)
Imagine if he agreed to technically take Yang in and he puts her through the school cause he seems like the kinda guy who believes you can manipulate a child into whatever perfect thing you want with enough hard work and discipline
And Yang actually would make an amazing soldier if it weren’t for her actual views and mindset and just brain in general because her skills and abilities line up perfectly with what they’d want in someone for the military
However ironwood is THE general and is super busy and also would never actually raise a child and it is a boarding school so that too
But maybe she’d get more connections in there and maybe he’d have her do jobs and stuff for the military especially with her skills in machinery and stuff
She definitely comes out of this hating routine and military more then ever despite excelling
She probably still visits Ruby as much as possible and texts her constantly making sure she’s ok and they’re probably still very close especially with how much Ruby probably resents her dad
Based on my sister who also got sent to a boarding school early that I couldn’t go to I bet theyd FaceTime all the time and Yang would still kinda be responsible for her like remembering to eat encouraging to do homework taking time off school to visit for occasions of Ruby’s
Yang would probably still be very popular in whatever school she’s in (she’s personable and pretty canonically even if it’s a lot a front she puts up) so there’s also a possibility she’d with her even better grades and performance might get near Pyrrhas kinda fame not near necessarily maybe just a much smaller version of that where she’s just well known up and coming huntress and stuff
If you go the ironwood training perfect loyal soldier for ozpin(this doesn’t work) route it’d be funny if she just casually knew government secrets because of it
Also would be cool if she had met winter at all because of it and her perspective on Weiss slightly more informed due to having met her older sister
And yeah EVER attachment issue she was stripped from EVERYTHING she ever had every loved one because they KICKED HER OUT and she BARELY has Ruby
(It’d be interesting if she got to be there for penny’s creation then she could gain a second younger sister possibly be in charge of teaching her how to act and fight and adapting to the world before Yang goes to beacon that’d be cool)
But yeah I find this all SO fun and interesting sorry I went off the rails with my own interpretation but that’s how I show love 💖💖💖
May I rant a to you about an Rwby Au that I've had bouncing around my head for a minute?
PLEASE DO
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Wish I Were Heather...
**ANGST!!! THIS IS REALLY ANGSTY AHAHAH sorry...**
*Based off of the song Heather by Conan Gray, Lyrics were used.*
Character: Iwaizumi I’ll say it again, A N G S T
I am also changing Heather to another name for ~story reasons~
TW- mentions of death (song),jealousy, reader is gonna get hurted

1st year
“I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater
You said it looked better on me than it did you”
“Oh Hajime~” The male in question looked at you, an exasperated expression already on his face. “No.” Your head shot up from where it had been rested on your folded arms, your eyes narrowing at the male. “I haven’t even said anything meanie!” He rolled his eyes before he turned to face you, green eyes softening ever so slightly at your ‘angry’ expression.
“AAAnnyways, I wanted to know if I could borrow your sweatshirt.” It was Iwaizumi’s turn to narrow his eyes at you. “I thought I told you to bring one idiot, I told you you’d get cold!” You rolled your eyes as your head returned to your desk, your crossed arms shielding you from the world. “Yeah, yeah I knooow. But I forgot! Please Hajime~” Having known him since elementary school you knew he could never resist ‘the look’, sighing he reached into his bag and grabbed his gray hoodie, throwing it on top of your head as you happily pulled it over your head. He couldn’t help but smile as he saw your goofy smile poke through the head of the sweatshirt. “Just give it back after practice, alright?” Feigning a surprised expression you batted your eyelashes at him. “I get to keep it that long? Hajime are you feeling okay? You’re being oddly generous…” You whined as he flicked your forehead, desperately trying to hide your blush as he chuckled, a soft smile falling onto his usually gruff face. “It’s already 7th period, so you only get it for 4 more hours. And don’t act so surprised, I am actually nice to the people I care about.” You tried to memorize the feeling of your heart swelling with his words. If only he knew….Just how much you liked him…
2nd Year
“Only if you knew how much I liked you But I watch your eyes as she Walks by What a sight for sore eyes Brighter than the blue sky She's got you mesmerized while I die”
Over the course of the two years you had been in high school you had developed feelings for your closest childhood friend. And things were honestly going pretty well, or at least you felt like they were. The two of you were already close but you felt like you were getting closer. You spent a lot of time together and the time spent with Iwaizumi never failed to make you feel like you were flying. Over these past two years you had also become close with Hanamaki since you two had a similar sense of humor and he was in general fun to be around. You had told him all about your crush on Iwaizumi, so when you couldn’t talk to Iwaizumi you knew you could talk to him. You and Iwaizumi were in the same class and sat side by side, much to the both of your satisfaction. Everything in your life was honestly going pretty great. Your grades were better than they had ever been, you felt like you were finally getting somewhere with Iwaizumi and you had a lot of fun managing the volleyball team! That was until she moved here…. Kumiko Nakamura. You had heard good things about her, she was very pretty, very sweet and she quickly became a schoolwide sensation. You didn’t really pay it any mind; this school had a lot of popular and pretty people so you figured the hype would die down sometime. That was until she was moved up to class five. The moment she walked in you knew, you just knew Iwaizumi was interested. Because no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t take his eyes off the stunning girl, and no matter how you tried you couldn’t distract your heart from slowly cracking with every glance he threw her way.
“You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester But you like her better Wish I were Heather”
You don’t think Iwaizumi realized what he was doing…or at least you really hoped not. It seemed inevitable the two would become acquainted somehow. And that’s just what happened when the two bumped into each other, she had been lost and Iwaizumi had offered to help her…and that’s how it started. You knew he was falling, you could see it in his eyes, hear it in the way he talked about her, to anyone who knew him it was painfully obvious just how smitten he was with her. And all you could do is sit there and ignore the breaking of your heart as he gushed to you about his new crush….and only a few weeks later, his new girlfriend. He promised she wouldn’t come between you two, I mean the two of you had been friends since elementary school, so you knew you were together through thick and through thin. But that doesn’t make up for the fact that the outings the two of you used to take…the lunches that used to be spent with laughter and jokes…the study sessions the night before a big test because you both procrastinated were nonexistent. It hurt so, so much to see them walking hand in hand, see her wearing his spare jersey at games, see them kiss goodbye in the hallways…it hurt. And it’s not like you could go to your best friend about it. So. You went to Makki. The truth is (not like you KNEW that is) Hanamaki Takahiro had liked you since you were first years, but he never said anything…since you were head over heels in love with Iwaizumi. Someone he felt he was no match for. So when he caught you crying your eyes out in the club room he didn’t hesitate to step up and comfort and care for you the way you deserved. He knew Iwaizumi wasn’t doing it on purpose, and he knew it wasn’t Nakamura either, but man he wished the ace would open his eyes. But as long as he pushed you away, Makki would be right there to get you through it.
“Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder”
Watch. That’s all you could do is watch. As bad as it sounds you tried to hate her, you tried to find something to dislike, something to show she wasn’t ‘all that’. But no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t find anything, nothing worthwhile anyway. She really was a kind, considerate person who you knew would take care of Iwaizumi. Just like you knew he’d take care of her…since it was how he used to take care of you…You saw as he gave his sweatshirt to her, the same sweatshirt he used to give you. You saw as she teased him a playful glint In her eye as she batted her eyelashes, and how he rolled his eyes but couldn’t shake the smile from his face. And you knew. You just knew you stood no chance. Because you knew they were in love. Because that’s the way you used to look at him…but he never looked that way at you.
3rd Year
“But how could I hate her, she's such an angel But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she Walks by What a sight for sore eyes Brighter than the blue sky She's got you mesmerized while I die”
It was now your third year of high school, your last year of high school. And despite the pain you endured last year, you were during much better. You and Makki both moved to class 4, you telling Iwaizumi class 5 was a bit too much, and Makki deciding the challenge would be worth it if he got to share his classes with you. You still talked to Iwaizumi, I mean you were still the volleyball manager after all. But you definitely didn’t spend as much time with him as you used to. And it still hurt like crazy, but you also had Makki to lean on, who had happily spent his time with you. And you had to admit it was working, but healing a broken heart takes time…and it takes more time when every time you see them hold hands, or kiss or say ‘I love you’ re-opens closed doors and picks at old wounds. You didn’t know if you’d ever tell Iwaizumi how you felt, heck right now it wasn’t even an option. It was hard for a long time to extinguish that little spark of hope, to silence that little ‘what if’ inside your brain that you never could shut up. Sometimes it still kept you up at night thinking ‘we’re not that different…what does she have that I don’t...?’ you’ve spent hours on this question alone. So many sleepless nights and daydreams. But every time, every scenario ends the same. Why? Because in the end you know you are no match for her. Because in the end she has one thing, one thing that will always ensure her victory over you. Because in the end, She has him, and that is one thing you know you never will.
“But you like her better Wish I were-”
#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi hajime#iwaizumi x y/n#iwaizumi angst#unrequited crush#unrequited love#Haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader#haikyuufanfiction#angst#ngl this one hurted#hanamki takahiro#makki
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Ariadne and why the Mycenaeans can fuck right off
Warning: Includes brief mentions of r*pe, cultural destruction, ancient patriarchy reminding us why no woman would ever time-travel more than 5 years into the past if that and a great deal of spite for male historians/public education history/mythology classes.
Possible side effects may include a sudden intense rage for an ancient society equivalent to the innate rage one has for the Romans burning the library of Alexandria, a distinct hatred for ancient men not being able to let anyone have nice things, and a sudden fascination for Minoa.
Usually, I stick to writing imagines and being happy with that. It’s fun! I love it! But every now and again, in an attempt to escape the crushing forces known as reality and responsibilities I’ll put on a few cutscenes from games I’m: A) Too lazy to play B) Too broke to play C) Too unskilled to play D) All of the above
because cutscenes are free and why torture yourself with impossible levels when its free on Youtube?* *In all seriousness please support video games and video game creators, but no shame to those of us who prefer cutscenes to gameplay. A few weeks ago I added the game Hades made by Supergiant to the list because the cutscenes were bomb and the characters are so much fun! Intricate as all hell! Hella cute too but that’s unrelated! Now my pretty little simp patootie is especially a big fan of Dionysus and his gorgeous design so the cutscenes with him are my favorite.
I’m re-watching his cutscenes a few nights ago for fun as background when he has a certain line about Theseus. Don’t quote me on this since my memory is foggy at best but roughly it was: Dionysus: Good job with Theseus. Never cared much for him- what he did to that girl was just horrible.*
*I know that’s not his exact line but this is clearly a rant post fueled by spite and ADD-hyper-focused obsessions with ancient civilizations so let’s not worry too too much about the semantics here.
Now, I like mythology! Personally, I prefer the Norse mythology due to the general lack of very very gross dynamics that several other ancient mythologies seem to include, but I’m decently familiar with Greek mythos. Enough to go - “Why does the God of Wine give a single fuck about the frat bro of Greek heroes being a dick to a woman? Grossness is embedded into the very DNA of all distant relatives of Zeus, a woman being harassed by Zeus or his bastard army is a typical Tuesday in ancient Greece.”
Wikipedia confirms that Ariadne is the only woman in the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, which I kinda knew already so unless Theseus did some f’ed up shit to some other princess of Minos, Dionysus could only be referring to her. Disregarding what I know about Wikipedia and how it can suck you down the rabbit hole of rabbit holes through sheer fury I stupidly clicked the link to Ariadne’s article.
By the time we get to the end of this shitstorm, I will have two separate plotlines for two separate stories based of Ariadne, 2k+ notes (and going) on an ancient civilization prior to a week ago I didn’t know existed and within me there will be a rage towards a different ancient civilization I vaguely recall learning about in high school.
Here’s how this shit went down.
First of all, apparently after Theseus abandoned Ariadne on an island to die (yep! He did that! To the one person who is the only reason he defeated the minotaur! Fuck this guy.) there are multiple storylines where Dionysus takes a single look at Ariadne and falls in love.
“A god falls in love?” you say, aware of how most love stories in Greek mythos can be summed up with Unfortunately, Zeus got horny and Hera is a firm believer in victim blaming. “This poor woman is about to go through hell!” I thought so too! And in one variation of the story, Dionysus does his daddy proud by being an absolute tool to Ariadne. In the majority though? He woos the fuck out of her, and ultimately marries her by consent!
Her consent!
In ancient Greece!
The party dude of the Greek pantheon knows more about consent then his father and modern day frat brothers!
Okay! That’s interesting, so I keep reading.
Ariadne getting hitched to Dionysus is a big deal in Olympus, to the point of getting a crown made of the Aurora Borealis from Aphrodite who is bro-fisting Dionysus, beyond glad she didn’t have to give him the talk about consent. The rest of the gods are pissy especially Hera who doesn’t like Dionysus much since he is the son of Zeus and Semele but they don’t do much. Ariadne ascends to godhood, becomes the goddess of Labyrinths with the snake and bull as her symbol and that’s that on that.
Colorin, colorado, este cuento se acabado. And they lived happily ever after. That’s the end of the post right?
NO! Because curiosity has made me their bitch and there’s more to this calling me.
Also, I was pissed! Still am! Why the fuck-a-doodle-do did I have to learn about the time Poseidon r*ped a priestess instead of the arguably healthiest relationship in the entirety of the pantheon? Why is Persephone and Hades’ story (which has improved since it was first written and I like more modern versions of it, no hate) the only healthy-ish Greek love story I had to learn when Dionysus and Ariadne were right there? The rage of having endured several grade levels of “Zeus got horny and Hera found out” stories in the nightmare of public education led me to keep looking into this.
There’s this wonderful Youtube channel called Overly Sarcastic Productions that I highly recommend that delves a lot into mythology, and I have seen their bombass video about Dionysus and how his godhood has changed since he was potentially first written in a language we comprehend.
Did ya’ll know this man is the heir apparent to Zeus? ‘Cause I didn’t know that!
YEA! Dionysus, man of parties, king of hangovers and inducer of madness, is set to inherit the throne of Olympus! Ariadne didn’t husband up the God of Wine, she husbanded up the Prince of Olympus and heir apparent to the throne! Holy shit! No wonder some of the gods were against her marriage to Dionysus - can you imagine the drama of an ex-mortal woman sitting on the Queen’s throne of Olympus? Hera must have been pissed.
BUT WAIT.
There’s more.
The reason we know Dionysus is a very important god and is possibly even more important than we think is because of a handy-dandy language known as Linear B, otherwise known as the language of the Mycenaeans!
For those of you fortunate enough to have normal hobbies and interests, the Mycenaeans were the beta version of the Greeks. Their written language of Linear B is one of, if not the first recorded instance of a written Indo-European language. This language, having been translated, gives us an interesting look at what the Greek gods were like back in their beta-stages before they fixed the coding and released the pantheon.
Interesting side facts of the Mycenaean Greek gods include:
Poseidon being the head god with an emphasis on his Earthquake aspect, and being much more of a cthonic god in general.
Take that Zeus, for being so gross.
The gods in general being more cthonic, as Mycenaeans were obsessed with cthonic gods (probably due to all the earthquakes and natural disasters in Greece and Crete at that time)
Several of the gods and goddesses that we know being listed, alongside some that we don’t consider as important (Dione)
The first mention of Kore, later Persephone, but no Hades because since a lot of gods were cthonic, there would be no need for one, specific cthonic god to represent the majority of death-related rituals.
That’s not what we’re focusing on though! What we’re focusing on is a specific translated portion of Linear B that we have. One of the translated portions of Linear B that for the life of me I can’t find (someone please help me find it and send the link so I can edit this post) says an interesting phrase. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”
One more time. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”
Mistress of Labyrinths.
Now wait a gosh darn minute. Isn’t there a goddess of labyrinths in the Greek mythos? Why yes! Yes there is! Ariadne!
Here’s a question for you. If Ariadne is but a minor god in the pantheon, a wife to a more predominant god, why is it that while all the other gods and goddesses are bunched together in a sentence of praise, the so-called ex-mortal gets a whole-ass sentence to herself singing praises?
And thus, we have arrived to Minoa!
What is Minoa, you ask? Minoa is to Rome what Rome is to us. An old-ass civilization either older than or younger by a hundred years to ancient Egypt. Egypt, that started in 3200 B.C-ish depending on who you ask. That’s old. Old as balls. They were contemporaries to their trading partner, Egypt until 1450 BC-ish. A 2000 year old civilization.
Minoa was founded on the island of Crete, and was by what artifacts we have found a merchant civilization with its central economy centered on the cultivation of saffron and the development of bronze/iron statues of bulls. Most of what we know about them comes from artifacts and frescoes found on Crete that managed to survive everything else I will mention later, but what matters is that we know a few things about them.
Obsessed with marine life for some time, given their pottery.
Had the first palaces in all of Europe, some of them ridiculously big.
Wrote in Linear A and Cretan Hieroglyphs, both still untranslated languages.
Had a ritual involving jumping over a bull, for some reason.
Firm believers in “Suns out, Tits out.”
You’d think I’m kidding on the last one but no! No no no! All the women apparently rocked the tits-out look in Minoa!
^^^^One of many, many Minoan works featuring women giving their titties fresh air. ^^^^
“Wait a second Pinks! What does this have to do with Ariadne being the Mistress of labyrinths?”
Well you see dear wonderful darling, while we know very little about Minoan religion because Mycenaeans (we will get to those bastards in a second), we do know this:
All the religious figures appear to be exclusively women.
The most important figures of their religion seem to be goddesses as there are few artifacts featuring male gods.
Because of the religion, the culture may have been an equal society or even a matriarchy! Historians who are male aren’t sure.
A frankly ridiculous amount of their temples, including the ones in caves in the middle of fuck-all feature labyrinths. A lot of labyrinths!
Their head god is a goddess! Whose temples have labyrinths and whose main symbols are snakes and bulls. Who do we know is a) the mistress of labyrinths and b) is symbolized a lot by snakes and bulls?
ARI-fucking-ADNE THAT’S WHO!
Ariadne didn’t upgrade by marrying the prince of Olympus! Dionysus wifed up possibly the most important goddess in all of Crete and becoming her boy-toy!
I’m not even kidding, most Minoan depictions of the goddess’ consort features a boy/man who cycles through the stages of death. Dionysus himself in several myths goes through the same cycle - life, being crushed, death, rebirth, repeat. Cycles the consort goes through in Minoan legend depictions too!
Okay, that’s great, but what does that have to do with the Mycenaeans? Why do you want to single-handedly go back in time and strangle the beta-Greeks with the nearest belt?
Everything I just said about Ariadne being a Minoan goddess, the Mistress of Labyrinths being hella important on Minoa, is all theoretical. The Mycenaeans are partially to blame for making it theoretical.
Minoa thrived for 2000 years but it had a lot of issues, mostly caused by natural disasters. Towards the end of their civilization (1500 BC-ish), the nearby island of Thera, today known as Santorini, decided to blow up. The island was a hella-active volcano that when erupted, destroyed a lot.
How big was the eruption? Well when Pompeii was wasted by Mt. Vesuvius, the blast was heard from roughly 120 miles away, 200 km.
The blast on Thera was heard from 3000 miles away. 4800 km away.
Fuck me, the environmental effects of the explosion were felt in imperialistic CHINA.
Holy shit that would waste anybody! And it did! Minoa went from being a powerhouse in the Mediterranean to scrambling to recover from losing 40,000 citizens and who knows how many cities. Tsunamis may have followed the blast, further destroying ports which for a navy-powerhouse of an island nation is a bad thing and the theorized temperature drops caused by a cloud of ash lingering for a while would have destroyed crops for the year.
Minoa was fucked.
The Mycenaeans and all their bullshit made it worse.
Up until a few hundred years prior to Thera’s explosion, Minoan artifacts don’t depict much in terms of military power. Why would it? Crete is a natural defense post. Sheer cliffs, high mountains and a few semi-fortified areas would make it pointless to invade. It’s only when the Mycenaeans in all their bullshit decided to attack/compete that Minoa really needed any army to speak of.
Guess who decided to invade while Minoa was reeling from an incredibly shitty year? Mycenaea!
Guess who won?
Also Mycenaea!
Nobody knows how this shit went down though because wouldn’t you know it, the Mycenaeans in all their superiority-complex glory decided to destroy most written accounts about Minoa, a good junk of the temples and culturally eliminated most of Minoan beliefs.
Minoa isn’t even the real name of the civilization! It’s just the name Arthur Evans, the guy who re-motivate interest in Minoan archaeology, gave to the civilization because the writings that would have included the name of the civilization were destroyed.
“That sucks!” Fuck yes that sucks! “What does that have to do with Ariadne though?”
Oh ho ho. Strap in because you’re about to be pissed.
Those of us unfortunate enough to be aware of all the bullshit the Christians pulled on the European pagan belief system are familiar with the concept of cultural, religious destruction. There’s a special name for it I don’t know but if I did I would curse it to be absorbed by the horrendous will of fungi.
An example: Christianity was not the most popular of religions amongst the Vikings. A monotheistic religion that is heavily controlled did not strongly appeal to anyone with a pantheon as rad as the Norse one.
In order to appeal to the Vikings, what monks would do is they would write down traditionally Viking stories which up until that point were orally passed down. Beowulf, the story of the most Viking Viking to have every Vikinged, was one of these first stories.
However! Did these monks write Beowulf as closely to the original oral transcript as possible? Of course not! They took liberties! While Norse features such as trolls and dragons and all sorts of Norse magic occur, there is a lot of Christian features added in.
This happened across all Pagan religions that Christianity came into contact with in Europe. Stories would be altered when written down to be more Christian (this happened to the Greek Pantheon too btw), holidays that were Pagan magically lined up with ones the Vatican just happened to suddenly have. Even names of mythological figures were taken and added onto Christian figure names. Consequently, a lot of pagan religions they did this to got erased over time, with many of their traditions and details being lost forever, and the details we do know being tinted by Christianity.
The Mycenaeans were likely no different.
Minoa and Mycenaea were as culturally opposite as can be. Minoa is theorized to be a matriarchal or equal society*. Mycenaea and most of early Greece absolutely was not. In fact, during early stages of their religion where they believed in reincarnation, the Mycenaeans believed the worst thing to come back as was a woman.
Did you get that? With your options ranging from man to ever single animal on Earth, a woman was ranked as beneath literal animals in Mycenaean society.
Fuck the Mycenaeans.
* This is not to say Minoa was without fault, as a society that is matriarchal or equal can still have rampant issues such as privilege, classism, racism, sexism and more, but when history has a shortage of civilizations that didn’t treat women like shit, you find yourself rooting for them more.
What do you do then, when you take over a society that is very much the opposite of a nightmare of a patriarchy? You fold their beliefs into your own to bait them into yours. Going back to the Linear B line about “Mistress of Labyrinths” that line would/could have been an early tactic of incorporating Minoan belief into Mycenaean belief. Other goddesses and gods were made into aspects of Mycenaean gods. Bristomartis, the Minoan goddess of the hunt, would become Artmeis. Velchanos, a god of the sky, would become Zeus.
With more time, the religion shifted more into Mycenaean and eventually into ancient Greece as we know it. Through trade other gods and goddesses would continue to shift and change, some being straight up imported (Aphrodite for example). Dionysus himself changed a lot too, going from a God representing freedom and attracting slaves, women and those with limited power into his cult, to a God of parties for the wealthy.
Theseus and the Minotaur was a myth likely based on a Mycenaean myth based on a Minoan myth that changes Ariadne from an important, possibly the important goddess of an ancient religion and relegates her to a side character in a pantheon so vast that she would be lost within it.
All of this brings us to today. Today, where as soon as work ended I spent most of the day, as well as the past two days, looking up everything I can on Minoan civilization and added it to my notes. Spite is fueling me to write two possible different stories for two different fandoms where Minoa dunks of Mycenaea and it is giving me life. Expect an update within the next two weeks folks as I lose control of my writing life once more.
In summary: Ariadne deserves more respect, fuck the public education system for skipping over the good parts of Greek mythology instead of the r*pey as shit parts, the Mycenaeans can eat my shorts, and a world were Minoa became the predominant power instead of Greece would be an amazing world to live in.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Pink out.
#minoa#minoan#crete#ancient history#ariadne#mycenaea#mycenaean#I hate#HATE#HATE HATE HATE the Greeks so much#homer is a dick#So much spite and curiosity went into this#if I ever get a time machine I will travel to the first years of Mycenaea for the express purpose of burning it to the ground before#they get a chance#the opportunity#to look at Minoa wrong
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Diverse Perspectives | Discussion 1
****Whew, Tumblr deleted this entire post that was in my queue, so if there are mistakes in the transcript, sorry. I still highly, highly, suggest you read as you listen. I’ve added resources so you know what we reference in this discussion.*****
[ It is required to participate and watch/read these discussions, in order to follow me. Participate or get tf out. We aren’t performative in my lil’ area on Tumblr.
This discussion isn’t representative of an entire population or meant to be super professional. It’s to share different perspectives and also is an opportunity for me to practice what I preach: intersectionality. If you’d like to participate in this series please send me a pm or an ask and I’ll get back to you ASAP. We can do a written, audio, or video interview.]
To open this series, I interviewed Rachel, (AKA @reality-wont-ruin-my-life / @emmettisapowerbottom) for her perspective as a Jewish woman.
youtube
Transcript:
I recommend you read while you listen, I’ve made some clarifications because my ADD brain is shitty when I try to speak words.
(it has also been slightly edited for clarity)
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Faith: OK, thank you for doing this with me, so I just want your perspective because you are a Jewish woman.
Rachel: Yes.
F: And I feel ... we don't talk about anti-Semitism enough in the right spaces.
R: Yeah.
F: I think we talk about it ... in history and then, ... it's not even called...I don't even remember it being called anti-Semitism, it was being ... framed as ... with this thing of the past that is around. So, first question for you is,
Do you believe that by learning about the Holocaust in such an apathetic bland setting, which is a classroom, we are being told anti-Semitism is a thing of the past?
R: Um, I think it has less to do with where we learn, because I do think it's really important to learn about ... the history, but I think the way it's taught is really where the issue comes is that they kind of teach it as this one event that's kind of a standalone thing instead of saying ..., hey, this is a historical pattern. So a lot of people seem to think antisemitism started with the Holocaust when there's thousands of years of history of it before that. And then they think it ended when the US joined the war, which the US didn't even join the war to help the Jews. That's a complete lie. So I think it's important that it's taught. But the way it's taught is, you know, you read The Diary of Anne Frank and you look at a few power points. And everyone stares at the Jewish kid ... us ... to--
F: Omg not to make it about me, but I remember watching ... a Jackie Robinson film and (also) learning about slavery in seventh grade. I was ... the only black person in the room. And they're always ... this *looks behind* it's just ... what? (are you looking at?)
R: I think every kind of minority group has that experience where the class talks about something and just ..., you know, everyone's staring at you.
F: Yeah. So, yeah, I agree with you. ..., context matters and I think ... even the pattern or how even the Holocaust even happened, ... it shouldn’t have happened and we're told we're learning about this, so it doesn't happen again, but what are these teachers telling us? They're not telling us what was the process of basically convincing a whole population that it's OK to kill, mass kill, people? So I feel ... it's not really seen in that context. I mean, at least I went to many different schools and, you know, different history classes. And it never really seemed ... it was deeper, ... it was more of ..., you know, this is your homework is about the Holocaust. It's ... this shouldn't be ... it shouldn't be ... that. I don't know how to explain it ... this is more than just ... a piece of paper that we fill out.
R: Definitely, yeah, I think people kind of get lost in that and think it's just this one unit instead of ..., you know. It decimated ... a third of the world's Jewish population and 90 percent of the Romani population.
F: Yeah, and it, I think that also isn't talked about because I did a whole presentation on, ... the experiments that took place and they took, ...disabled people or differently abled, whatever you prefer...and then I know, ..., multiple minority groups were put in those camps. So I also think it's interesting that I mean, .... I don't know how to explain it, I think by making it just about the Jewish population, it's ... “better” for people. People ... they can put it in a box, right, ... this won't affect me if it happened today. But, you know, if you have a family member that's a part of this group or part of the LGBTQ+ ... they were affected. So it's ... this* isn't just .... A certain people's problem. (*The Holocaust)
R: But at the same time, I feel ... especially when learning about and teachers tend to take her Jewishness out of it so that people can relate to it, ... she was a Jewish woman ......don't.
F: Yeah, it's ... you can humanize someone by just seeing them as human, you don't need to make them ... you don't need to make them fit, you know? Um, do you think the Internet has helped or hurt the Jewish community in terms of information and accessibility to the general public?
R: I say a mix of both because for me personally, ... growing up, I really separated myself from my Judaism at home. I was ..., oh, I don't you know, I think this is something you want to do as kids. It's ... you do your bar mitzvah and then you're just ... gone for awhile and finding ... Jewish people on the Internet really helped me reclaim my connection with my family. And now I study it ... it's my college degree... is Judaic studies and the history. But I've found that it's been really helpful for me finding ... Jewish people on the Internet, but at the same time...... conspiracy theories are a huge thing on the Internet, and so many of them are based on anti Semitism without people even realizing. So I think it's the spread of information and the ability to scapegoat groups from the Internet hurts Jews a lot, but it also really helpful for us in finding community within ... Jewish people.
F: Yeah, ... yeah, I can definitely see that because, I mean, I think that's...I've only ever heard the “pro” of social media is meeting people, like-minded people or different people, which I mean, thank you, Tumblr, because of this... but that's the only pro I've ever heard, is just meeting people. So I just think it's interesting that ..., ... there are all these negative things, you know, ... anti vaxxers..Flat earthers, ... “climate change isn't real”. It's just .... At least we get to meet each other? Look on the bright side, I guess.
R: Oh, yeah. You know, take the good with the bad or whatever. I have, but not to the extent some other people have, because I don't really have ... the stereotypical Jewish, which is ridiculous because you come in every color and everything. And also, I do want to say I don't speak for every Jew, every experience, ... I'm an upper class white woman living in Oregon. So, you know, I have a very different perspective than say and also I'm a certain branch of Judaism citizen. So I have a different perspective from ... a Black Orthodox Jew from New York, it’s going to be a very different lifestyle. So I haven't had death threats anything. I just...a lot of middle school and high school was ... when people would find out I was Jewish. ... Can I say, ... a Holocaust joke.?
F: Ugh
R: No, know, that's ... everyone when you're a kid, that's their first reaction. When you say things ..., oh, now I can make this joke about ovens and ..., please don't do that.
F: Oh, my God, that's so awful. I don't know why they do that.
R: And then all of a choir director once was ..., Oh ... because I got this solo in this piece that was about Anne Frank. She's ..., Oh, yeah, she even looks ... Anne Frank. I was ..., this was on the radio.
F: That's that's not OK. Oh my gosh. It's .... Look, look, she's not ... this, ... she was gorgeous, obviously, I think everyone's gorgeous, but ... she ... I've seen, ..., her eyes on people (edit: I meant she has common features, like everyone else) ... she's not. Yeah, her features are....Oh, my gosh...., it's just because--
R: the things that are considered stereotypical Jewish features are largely Middle Eastern features, ... it's thick hair, ... kind of bushy eyebrows, the nose with the bump, curly, dark, untamed hair.
F: Yeah, and that's just ... such a large (edit: large population), stereotypes are never really accurate. they're based on something dark, ... really dark. It's ... if you actually look into stereotypes on certain groups, it always has a dark origin. So many people have...ugh I’m not just going to even...
*Rachel’s video cuts out*
F: Ok next question:
Why do you think people of color are able to be anti-Semitic or kinda just hold anti Semitic beliefs, consciously or subconsciously?
R: I think a lot of it is the perception that being Jewish is inherently tied to having power, and so a lot of communities look at it as punching up, when that’s not the reality of the situation, so I think when... this goes for every other group I think that because that’s the kinda the stereotypical argument for why people don't like Jews is “Oh, well we control the world so other people were super wealthy we’re super rich so people can say, oh I can hate this group because they’re above me, so I’m punching up.”
F: Mhmmm
R: But you know there are Black Jews, there are disabled Jews, there’s...all these intersections. There’s plenty of poor Jews. So there’s this idea that just because you’re Jewish you’re rich and powerful.
F: Hmm. That’s a really good way to look at that, because you know I kinda do see how that falls into the “Eat the rich” or whatever. Um...and I recently learned, is it true, I probably should’ve researched this before, but is the illuminati Semitic? ... the idea of an illuminati?
R: The concept is, largely because of who they claim are in it. They are largely Jewish people. And also, it’s the same thing with the “lizard conspiracy/the lizard people”, which I was explaining this to my Mom...actually let me find the message...I think his name is David Icke? But he’s the creator of the “lizard conspiracy” and he also is a Holocaust denier who simultaneously believes that Jews funded the Holocaust to get ... attention….
F: *scoffs in disgust and utter confusion*
R: ...and to get people to pity them. And so a lot of people with go after Soros or the Rothschilds and say ... “oh they’re a part of the illuminati, they’re lizard people who are controlling the world.” and so, no, the concept of this elite group that runs the world and many of the people you’re putting in it are Jewish people.
F: Hmmm, oh ok.
R: Also throughout history, this goes way before the Holocaust, this has been going on for 2,000 years but ... Jews have been accused of running the-Jews--with the lizards they’ll say “Oh they’ll eat your kids” or they’ll do this thing. So Jews have been accused of this thing called blood libel, which is ... sacrificing Christian children and drinking their blood. Which never happened, there’s no documented cases of this, but we---there were large mass murders of Jewish people in the middle ages and also for stealing communion wafers. They would say that we would steal them and ...….stab them to ... to try and kill Jesus. Which sounds...... I think when we learned that we all laughed uncomfortably...but no you don’t understand, thousands of Jews were murdered for this….this isn’t a funny thing. And so it's this idea of ... this secret...Jewish society that’s gonna kill your kids, steal all the wealth and even--they’ll try to, David Icke, again, I don’t know if I’m pronouncing his name right, I’m sorry. But--
F: Who cares (if you’re pronouncing his name right) honestly?
R: It’s not anti-Semitic because these Jews who I’m accusing aren’t really human...but yes they are.
F: Yeah
R: These are Jewish people.
F:... any group of people are people...so he’s trying to say Jewish people are alien, so it doesn’t count?
R: Pretty much.
F: *wtf confusion laugh*
R: So I think a lot of times the people who spread the conspiracies don’t know….the prices of it. Once you learn, you dig a little deeper, you can see the issue that comes from it.
F: Do you think um that in that sense that memes can be hurtful--or harmful because of ... you know the illuminati meme. So people don’t know that the concept of the illuminati is essentially anti-Semitic, so do you think ... meme culture is contributing to ignorance?
R: I think yeah to some extent, because when it gets widespread enough you know? It becomes normalized and then when someone tries to speak about it and says, “Hey this thing is problematic” they’ll be ... “Oh no it’s just a joke, you’re taking it too seriously, it has nothing to do with that.” Well, if you look back, ... it does and historically these kinds of “jokes” have led to groups being persecuted. It’s just a matter of if someone tells you something is problematic, don’t brush it off.
F: And I would ... to point out that I made a joke about Mark Zuckerberg being a robot lizard in response to um...him uh trying to buy Native lands and I was like “What?”(when someone said it was Semitic) honestly my brain doesn’t even go to---I don’t research who people are. I don’t know why I didn’t know he was Jewish, I didn’t know. And then I went to I forgot what website I went to, I went through all the stereotypes of Jewish people and I didn’t see anything about “lizard”, but it was ...I was trying to find a way to excuse myself...but if someone tells you its wrong, it’s wrong.
R: And I think it’s about being willing to learn and listen ..., I made those jokes. I didn’t realize until earlier this year what the basis of it all was. So I’ve made plenty of jokes about the illuminati and lizard people….and then started reading things by other Jewish people and I was ... “Oh! I never thought about that.” I didn’t connect the dots and put that all together.
F: Yeah and especially with ... jokes ... they’re so modern, memes are so modern, so when we’re told about anti-semitism being framed as a past thing, we do this. So when we use jokes and stuff--I mean non-Jewish people, I think when we use jokes in general, honestly, about any group, we don’t think “Ok what’s the context of this? What’s the history behind this?” Because---BEYONCE friggin’ singing about the illuminati....
R: *laughs*
F: I mean she was kinda ... dragging it, but the jokes get that big. So I feel ...---I don’t know. I want to publicly apologize for calling Mark Zuckerberg a robot lizard because I thought that was a meme and not based in anti-Semitic language.
R: We’ve all done that so many times.
F: I was talking about how he’s ... a robot and acts weird, so it’s completely on me.
What do you want people to know about your culture?
R: Um, that it’s not a monolith. There’s this ongoing joke in the Jewish community that if you have two Jewish people in a room you’ll have three different opinions.
F: *laughs*
R: So we all practice differently, we all have a different relationship with religion and spirituality and that the big thing is that we’re not this all powerful group. I think it confuses people that Judaism isn’t...first off Judeo-Christian is not real we’re not--Judaism and christianity are very different so I get annoyed when they’re lumped together. “Judeo-Christian values” ... no we have completely different values and beliefs.
F: Yeah
R: I think it really confuses people when I tell them that I don’t believe in God but I still consider myself very Jewish, because it’s so intrinsically tied as this just religious concept but because of the persecution that Jewish communities have faced, it’s taken on this double role as an ethnicity and a religion. So ..., I’m a white person, there’s no way that I’m not white but I’m also a Jewish white person so it's kinda a different path, a different history. And I still have this connection with my Judaism, while at the same time, you know, I haven’t been to synagogue since I was 13, so I don’t believe in higher powers and stuff, at least at this point in my life. That could change, but I think it’s such a part of who we are and there’s that generational trauma that Jews are born with--or at least biological because you’re still just as Jewish if you convert to Judaism, I think there’s also this idea, Oh! My cat just came in...
I think there’s also this idea that when you’re controlling the world you're trying to make everyone like you. But Jews don’t proselytize, Jews aren’t trying to make other people Jewish. Which is very different than the way some other religions operate, where it’s going out and trying to get everyone to agree with you so you can save their soul or whatever...
F: Mhm
R: Also when it comes to--this is less for Judaism, this is for every group, ya know I was talking about um The BLM protests and using dark humor. In my experience at least, I think the groups that are affected can use dark humor about it. So ..., Black people can make jokes about police brutality, I can’t make jokes about police brutality because it’s not affecting me personally, so I feel ... Jewish people, we wanna make Jew jokes between ourselves, that’s fine, but when other people make jokes ... ok now it’s uncomfortable because of that power imbalance, ‘cause you haven’t faced a holocaust or gone through these things I’ve gone through as a Jewish person, and I haven’t gone through these other things. So I think when people make a joke “Oh I have a dark sense of humor, I like to use dark humor to cope” well it’s not ... your trauma to cope with. I think that’s with every group that’s gone through something...there’s certain dark humor that you can’t use.
F: Yeah that’s such a good way to put it because ... you may be coping with other things but it’s not the thing you’re talking about, so why do you need to cope with the jokes about that? I’ve heard, anti-Semitic jokes and I’m ... “What the-” *leans back* from ... non- Jewish people and….who is that for? How is that make you feel better as a human? I was like: “Why are you doing this? Shut up.”
R: Yeah.
F: They know it’s wrong...it’s like the “edgy” 4chan type of thing ... *~I’m so edgy~* No your’e not. Personally, I think you’re weak if you can’t come up with a joke that doesn’t hurt a group of people
R: Oh yeah. Oh and then another thing I’d ... people to realize about Judaism is for one….the issue of Judaism and anti-Semitism is separate from the issue of Israel/Palestine and anti-Zionism and also not every Jew has the same opinion on it and we’re not all experts on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, so you don’t need to derail every discussion with “Oh what are your thoughts on Palestine? Do you support Palestine? Do you support Israel?” Because it’s so separate, and such a complex issue. You know because I was born Jewish doesn’t mean that I automatically have this innate knowledge of the entire conflict. It can kinda be used as a way to derail people when talking about anti-Semitism we face, ya know you’ll--I’ve seen this a lot on TikTok where people will make videos talking about things they face and a lot of the comments are “Free Palestine”...well they didn’t mention Palestine, we don’t know their views on Palestine. Just ‘cause you’re Jewish that doesn’t make you a Zionist, just---I’m sure people who have Palestinian heritage doesn’t make you anti-Zionist, ya know? They're separate issues and people ... to lump them into one…..and if someone says that anti-Zionism is treading into Semitism, then we should listen to them because they’re two separate things and you can protest in Israel and not be falling into anti-Semitic tropes.
F: Right, that’s such a complex subject. I would never ask someone straight up: “Who’s side are you on?!” because it’s so, so complex. I remember I tried to dedicate a whole day to just researching, “Ok what’s going on?” and it’s just ... so much information it’s just hard because I don’t even want to speak on it because it has nothing to do with me, so I was just trying to get--I remember when it was on the news a lot, right? I’m like trying to understand what you guys are saying, so I like to do background researching and oh my gosh, I can’t imagine summing up your opinion in one sentence about that or why you chose this side and not that. It’s so varied.
R: Ya know I’m still learning about it, I don’t know that much about it so ya know when I try to talk about this Jewish thing they’ll be ... “Oh! What are your thoughts on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict?” I’m just ... *raises hands up* “I don’t know, I need time to learn more”
F: Yeah it’s like *looks at phone* “hold on a sec (while I research more on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and get back to ya)”
How do you see yourself in your country?
R: Um...it’s complicated because I’m from a privileged family in a privileged area so I know I have intrinsic power in this country, Judaism is easier to hide than other things. You can’t look at me and know I’m Jewish whereas you could look at a Black person and know they’re Black, you could look at a Muslim wearing a headscarf and know they’re Muslim. So it’s much easier to get away with things, I’m not going to be profiled until I open my mouth and say something about my Judaism, but at the same time, there is that fear because we’ve seen it before, Jews in Germany weren’t identifiable by looking at them but it’s on their birth certificate and they started rounding up. So I do get that little pang of panic every time I see “Jewish cemetery desecrated” or “Swastikas drawn on synagogue”...last time I went to synagogue was after the Tree of Life shooting, I went in solidarity and there was ... armed guards outside and it was so scary thinking about “Oh my God there could be a bomb threat, there could be a shooter.” and there’s this idea where I know I have privilege and I know I’m in a position of power but at the same time, ... I know that I have to be ready to flee if something happens, because every few generations of Jews have had to do that, for thousands of years now. So it’s all complex intertwined identity, where-so I call myself “Conditionally white”, I benefit so much from white privilege and everything except my Judaism is white, white, white but then there’s at the same time, I wasn’t considered white under the defining whatever, where you write down your race, in the eyes of the US until ... the 50s. They had white and Jewish as two separate ethnicities or races. It’s such a weird place to be.
F: Yeah and of course, I know you say you are/look white so you have all this privilege and stuff but at the same time, being scared of sharing a part of you that’s...an average white person doesn’t have to be scared of ... saying “Oh I believe this” and then if you feel the fear of sharing that, just in general or fear of a hate crime, that is very valid. And I think sometimes we forget that.
R: It’s interesting sometimes hearing people talk about Judaism. They think of it as this “Oh taking over the world, there’s gotta be a lot of them” it’s ... well, there’s 14 million of us in the world right now, about a third are in Israel, the US has 1.5 million. Compared to that, probably half the world's population is Christian. There's 1 or 2 billion Muslims, we’re a very small group comparatively.
F: I do think the illuminati thing perpetuates that so much, subconsciously or unconsciously….although it’s supposed to be a “smaller group” or whatever but still they make it ... this huge thing kinda framed like Scientology. It’s so weird that people don’t--I’ve heard many Christians claim that “I’m scared to say I’m Christian” and it's just ... that’s so valid for you and I’m not disregarding your experience...the historical context behind it, even people who are Muslim and all these hate crimes...I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hate crime against a Catholic church...
R: Not in a very long time and when it has been, it’s usually between Christian sects.
F: Yeah, that too, infighting. I dunno where I was going with that. *laughs* but I know what you mean by blowing up this population to be a “threat”. I think that happens with any group that someone disagrees with like the “liberals” “antifa” they blow it up to huge populations, ... “Oh my gosh we’re being invaded!” I’m surprised that more people haven’t seen with, you know the steps to genocide, that’s one of the things (steps), it’s making this group of people a “threat” that’s “invading” a space...I’m surprised that people don’t see that about any group but especially about the Jewish community, AGAIN! That’s not the first time! It’s just constant, there’s no breaks!
R: Yeah that’s most of Jewish history since other major religions came in….you know we haven’t been in power since Christianity came in.
What’s the biggest misconception bout your community?
R: Um, I’d say probably getting back to that rich/powerful thing. Just the, ya know that and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict thing. Those are the two things I hear the most and also Holocaust deniers..which I don’t know why there are so many but there are like or the people who say “Oh yeah it happened but it’s not as bad as they make it seem.”.
F: Sooo stupid. I just can’t imagine denying any sort of crime against humanity, .. I can’t even talk about it, it makes me so pissed.
Do you feel like there is adequate representation of your community in the media?
R: Um I think we definitely have more representation than other groups...but I find it to be kind of more one track or stereotypical so it doesn’t show ... the breadth of the Jewish community. The only show about Jews is Unorthodox and that kinda portrays Orthodox Judaism in a not great light. But I think there’s a lot more Jewish….you know they used to say “Jews control Hollywood” because a lot of actors and directors were Jewish and it’s ... “Well, maybe we’re just creative?”
F: *laughing*
R: So theres a lot of famous Jews and I guess a lot of Hollywood producers are Jewish but I think when it comes to actual characters, we don’t see practicing Jews that aren’t relying on stereotypes. But I don’t think the media is particularly targeted harmful to Jews the way it’s targeted other communities.
F: What do you think about the movies about the Holocaust that come out every year? And I’m not saying anything against them, I’m just curious what your take on that is because it’s interesting that I see a lot of these movies come out right? But in school it’s a day lesson, but the media keeps on talking about it. Do you appreciate that? Do you wish the content was better?
*both laugh*
R: I think some are better done than others. I prefer, my area of study is the Holocaust, so I have to submerse myself in all that stuff because that’s what my thesis is going to be on, it’s frustrating sometimes to see the fictionalized stories pushed over the real ones, especially the ones that have Christian charac---Boy in the Striped Pajamas made sob when I first watched it. Then I watched it again and I realized you’re only side because the little Christian kid dies.
F: *gasps in awe/mind blown* Ugh you gotta put that somewhere and share it because that’s such a good point!
R: And then there's, there was drama about some of the Holocaust books and they were ... hey “this isn’t a real story this didn’t happen but your pushing it as a real story”. So I….there’s so many real life tragedies that sometimes it seems a little weird that you create your fake characters about it. But at the same time, I do enjoy Holocaust movies ... I do consume content but there does seem ... a weird disproportionate obsession with it. I’ve said this to my family, I don’t really trust non-Jews who are super into WW2. ... there’s something about it, why are you so into it? “... I think it’s cool how that could happen, it’s cool to think about how….” I don’t really trust your motives, there’s something off to me. I think when it’s their personality is ... WW2! Holocaust!...Why are you so invested in this?
F: Oh my gosh yeah. Do you think there could be more movies about real people in real stories? ... I’ll look at “Is this movie true” (On google) ... The Boy in the Striped Pajamas So (I looked up) “Is this true” and it said, “Ummm no.” and it’s like... OK but wouldn’t it be more impactful to have real stories that are told?
R: I think so to some extent but I also don’t think they should do it without permission and sometimes there isn’t someone’s permission to ask.
F: Right.
R: But you don’t want those stories to die, you know if there’s a family left and this story is important and you don’t want it to get lost in the books but you know, so much has already been taken from the Jewish community...you have to weigh whether or not it’s worth it to contribute to that to get a story out there.
Do you think some directors and writers choose to make a story about the Holocaust as Oscar bait?
R: Probably. I think tragedies tend to do well in the awards circuit and I think tragedies about white people especially tend to do well. So I think if you...have this event, something that everyone knows about, everyone knows about the Holocaust, and they go “Ok well they’re not going to turn down this story about this kid in the Holocaust”. I don’t know every director's intention, there could be some who want to get the story out there. But I do think it’s easier to get something about a major historical event.
Do you feel that Jewish people are put in a box, only being seen as victims?
R: I’d say it’s usually the opposite. I’d feel ... both sides of the political spectrum put Jewish people in this box of “oppressor”.
F: Mhmmm
R: You see it because it’s one of those groups that gets hit on both sides. Where ... a lot of people say “Oh yeah well in the Holocaust you were all the victims.” which doesn’t annoy me because you’ll see these people say “They just willingly got on the carts to drive to camps and no one fought back.” well, no there were militias there were uprisings. They weren't just happily getting on these buses and not fighting for their lives. So I do think there’s a lot of victimization when it comes to the Holocaust, but a lot of people say “That was in the past, now no one’s attacking the Jews, no one’s doing anything so they’re taking advantage of us”. So I think in a historical context Jews are placed in a box of victimhood but in a modern context, it’s flipped.
F: Hm. How do you see left v. right, can you explain how you’ve seen each group take hits at the Jewish community?
R: Yeah
F: Kinda ... just a few points for people to watch and look out for?
R: The right is pretty much what you’d expect, neo-Nazis, swastikas, SS tattoos which is not fun, I don’t like seeing those. You see these white supremacists and I think on the left, they think all the Jews in that group are included in the white supremacy, when we’re explicitly excluded, we are not considered white by white supremacist standards. But you see the left use Steven Miller and Jared Kushner who, you know, they’re Jewish, they’re also terrible people but they happen to be Jewish...and them being terrible doesn't make them not Jewish but you see people like that...from the left we see a lot more of the anti-semitism coming out kinda disguised by anti-Zionism.
F: Mhmm
R: Again, I think there are perfectly valid reasons to be anti-Zionist. Another issue I have that the left like to do, which sometimes is valid and sometimes isn’t, is comparing things to the Holocaust.
F: Mhmm
R: Sometimes I think that’s…..can compare something, especially if Jewish people are saying that “Hey, these are things that we were seeing happening in Nazi Germany that we’re seeing now.” I remember getting really upset when I was seeing vegans compare animal farming to the Holocaust and ... yeah I have a lot of issues with the meat industry but don’t conflate those two things ‘cause its basically saying Jewish people are cattle. That’s how it comes out to the Jewish people.
F: Yeah I just looked up, I just wanted to make sure, yeah I have definitely heard that in the vegan community and it does bother me, um...I um feel like genocide is a better way to put it because it’s a mass killing of a population, the Holocaust-
R: Yeah the Holocaust is tied to a specific event.
F: Yeah, so I have also seen a video of a Holocaust survivor who went vegan, who compared it to the Holocaust, but I think that is his right.
R: Yeah when you are affected. If someone is from a group and critiquing a way a group is handling something, ok I’ll listen to your side of this but when it’s an outsider, I’m not sure you have a say in that.
F: No, and even the way the Holocaust happened, the steps to the Holocaust didn’t happen to animals, the animals weren’t stereotyped, they weren’t vilified. I don’t think it’s accurate.
R: At the same time I don’t think it’s just comparing everything to the Holocaust, just listen to Jewish people when we start saying, “Hey, this is looking eerily similar.”. I remember in 2015/16 I remember saying, “Hey when you look at his platform,” I’m sure we all know who he is--
*laughs*
R: “he has pretty much the textbook definition of fascism.” “Oh no, he doesn’t have this one step, it’s fine.” And then he’ll pass that step and it’s like, “Hey guys, I told you we’ve seen this before….these are the 14 steps and we’re at like 12 now.”
F: Yeah and you’ve studied it so you’d think that people would listen to you.
R: Yeah I started learning about the Holocaust, probably ... first grade in Hebrew school. Ya know ... I’ve seen all these pict---also if people could not just share these Holocaust pictures, constantly without any warning, ... those are photos that are traumatic to a lot of us. Now, I’m used to seeing them again because it’s what I study but you see people, they’ll share things, when they’re comparing to the Holocaust, they’ll put like a Holocaust photo...you know those are people ... that I know. Those are my Grandparent’s friends, those are the parents of one of my teachers. I feel like people forget, they lump it into the numbers “Oh yeah 6 million Jews died”, but yeah each of those 6 million was a person. So when you post a photos, piles of dead bodies, those are people.
F: I don’t agree with that either, even our presentations we would do about the Holocaust, it didn’t feel right seeing these people put behind a title.
R: I feel like people get swept up by the numbers that they forget it’s people. It’s real people who went through this. And it’s sad because we’re getting to that time because the last of the Holocaust survivors are reaching the end of their lifespan, so it’s gonna be harder and harder to have people come in and tell you firsthand, which helps to humanize it.
F: Yeah and especially the deniers, what going to happen when these people--and thank goodness they survived, hopefully they have a peaceful passing, but once they’re gone they’re going to be like “Oh no one has been there….”
R: So another thing, I went to a racist white high school. We had a lot of issues, we had 3 Black people at my school and we had issues with graffiti slurs against the Black people, so they brought in a Holocaust survivor to talk about tolerance, but it was very propaganda. So this Holocaust survivor came in and talked about how they befriended one of the nazi guards and I was like “This is not the story that we need to be sharing…
F: Wh-what?
R:... this nazi guard and this Jewish person became friend like that’s not how it is for the 99.9% of them. Don’t use it as your propaganda for tolerance saying “Yeah the victims and the ones who are hurting them should just like this person should just forget about what happened to them and just be friends with them.” So I think it’s just used as propaganda a lot instead of letting it stand as the story it is.
F: Or even “taking the high road”. Just like pretending you love everybody, “I love the people who did this to my family, my community”
R: It makes the people who don’t (take the high road) seem like they’re being irrational...hey I don’t like Nazis, I support punching Nazis then like “Hey you need to preach tolerance.” no they murdered people I know.
F: Yeah I’ve even, I’ve only seen one Nazi-Nazi in Nevada in person, it’s just ......he was wearing a Deutschland shirt, it’s just so crazy how--I made a post about this, and he just looked so weak, that always stuck with me. He looked so weak and insecure, and I’m like you should feel that way because there are so many groups of people who are stronger with their bonds with each other, like the Jewish community or any community, that you should feel weak because you just want to be an angsty little white boy. Side note: he looked me in the eyes and I looked at him back and he left. So….
*laughs*
F: That was only a fraction of what you feel. I feel ... we’re so desensitized to swastikas, I mean I haven’t seen one as graffiti, but the image, I feel we are too desensitized to that.
R: Oh yeah I get frustrated with people who say “We need to reclaim the swastika”.
F: *Laughs* “Noo”
R: I get you wanna reclaim if but it’s too far gone. It’s traumatizing for the Jewish community, I get it used to be the symbol of peace…
F: Right
R: But it’s just not what that is anymore.
F: I mean that’s why it was taken, I’m sure you’ve studied this, but that’s why Hitler got people to jump on board because it’s this pretty picture of this “peaceful future”. So taking it back would almost be like...that’s where it started and look at where we are...
R: I personally haven’t come across Jews who want to reclaim it, it’s non-Jews. And there might be Jews who want to, I don’t know every Jew on Earth but the ones I’ve interacted with are all uncomfortable seeing swastikas. And you know when I see those photos of swastikas on this Jewish cemetery destroying the grave, it’s ... I can’t help picture that with my Grandparent’s graves, ... oh what if this was where my family was buried.
F: Yeah in my hometown there was a lot of that going around, just everywhere, it’s just disgusting. The fact that non-Jewish people suggested reclaiming that? That’s just disgusting and inappropriate. You don’t have a right to-- for anyone watching, you don’t have a right to go up to a Jewish person and say “No but I wanna do this” no, that’s not right, if it doesn’t apply to you, don’t speak on it. Or try to reclaim anything. I’m done with reclaiming things. When you said “non-Jewish people” I thought that you were talking about your Jewish friends who thought “You know maybe we could take it back…”
R: No.
F: Deadass
R: No all the Jewish people I know don’t like seeing swastikas and have no interest in seeing them in our lives.
F: Like understandably, it’s not even crazy! I wouldn’t. Ugh.
What would you like to see more of from allies?
R: Um, I think more listening, I like this kind of stuff, just having a conversation. Just not speaking for us and just amplifying our voices. And again, not conflating Judaism and Christianity. Not being like “Oh our Judeo-Christian values” Jews aren’t good because they’re related to this Christian thing, no it’s our own thing, it’s very different religion. And even if what the Jewish person is saying something you don’t agree with, just listen at least and say your side, you know we’re not a monolith. We aren’t one person with one mind. We aren’t going to agree on everything, and you know if someone said that something you said was anti-Semitic, don’t get defensive, let them explain why and try and be better. Because we’re not going around saying every single thing is anti-Semitic.
F: Of course, you have a reason
R: Call out celebrities when they promote dangerous things.
F: Yeah like dangerous ideas. I would like to personally work on what things are inherently anti-Semitic and have been popularized so I know and can share that info.
R: And also for the stuff I’ve seen recently, when people seem to be calling out anti-Semitism they call it out a lot more strongly with Black people and that’s a problem. Black people can be anti-Semitic, we saw that with Nick Canon, we saw that with Luis Farakesh, (Edit: She meant Louis Farrakhan)
F: Ice cube
R: We’ve seen Black celebrities say anti-Semitic things and also white celebrities so don’t just call it out when it’s just Black people. I’ve been following some Black dudes on twitter who are saying “Hey this makes me really uncomfortable. Why are you going so hard against this person and not against this person?”
F: Yeah I guess I never thought about that with the Nick Canon thing. That was a mess.
R: Yeah and what he said was completely wrong.
F: I heard so many different versions of what he said, ... “Black people are beautiful” but wait no that’s not what he said
*laughs*
F: I do think um my question about POC people being anti-Semitic was based on Ice Cube, honestly. That shocked me, I was shocked, my jaw fell when he posted an anti-semitic image, not a swastika. How can you want support and then do this? So...
R: I think it’s the idea that they’re punching up.
F: Yeah, I’m glad you mentioned looking for how people react to a POC being anti-Semitic V. a white person because I can’t even recall the last time I heard a white person like be called out, or dragged/cancelled as much as Nick Canon.
R: Yeah you’ll see it with the right-wing politicians, they’ll get called out, but you don’t see it from the moderates or left wing celebrities, even though they’re also out there saying things.
F: Like anyone can be anti-Semitic anyone can be racist and I think that’s why I want to share your perspective to help a little bit, because even your friends and family can be saying stuff like this, it’s important to not let it slip through (and think) “Oh they didn’t mean that”...address it. I hope this helps in some way. Thanks for letting me interview you
R: Thanks for wanting to interview me.
F: No problem. I’m gonna stop this and then we can talk a lil’ privately. Byeeee
R: Bye.
Let’s have a discussion! Did you learn anything new from this conversation?
Let me know here.
-
To close out each post, I’d like to write a lil’ paragraph about the person I talk with:
Rachel is kind and expresses her thoughts skillfully. Her resilience is deeply apparent because she’s able to study the horrific history of her people and still stay sane. That is a feat I could never, ever, live up to. Reliving pain takes such a huge amount of strength and power. Rachel’s kind words (and others’ from in the egg gang ;) ) really helped me when I was in a dark spot. I’m blessed that you took the time to talk with my wacky self. I hope we continue to be friends and I also hope you know that I’m always here for you, Rachel, as you were there for me.
You are a treasure.
-Faithxx
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omg hi! you started off your blog greatly, im so proud of you! do you think you can write an angsty scenario for akaashi? where his crush likes this guy and wants help from him and he feels all sad :( but she ends up confessing to him! i love your writing so far, keep it up!
UMM so i accidentally got really invested in this so it’s WAYY longer than a drabble and i often write long stuff bc of ao3 so this might sound a little more like that kinda fanfic style instead of a tumblr scenario? mainly cos im really a sucker for this stuff hehehe love you anon
also ! the request made it sound sort of akaashi-centric so i hope you dont mind? there will still be a lot of reader-chan here though! please dont leave yet and i hope u enjoy
again ALSO i wrote this half on my laptop half on my phone so please dont mind if it seems a lil clunky in some areas
3092 words jesus ok here you go
-
Crushes weren’t necessarily a new sensation for Akaashi. Just an uncommon one. In fact, the last time he remembers even being attracted to someone was in first grade when everyone had a crush on this popular girl. He’s not even sure if he really liked her, or just found the idea of it interesting.
Now, second year of high school, Akaashi finds himself in trouble. Because for once, he really, really, really likes this girl. You.
He can’t even fake himself out of this, because every damn time he looks at you, he feels all warm and tingly and his stomach feels less calm and he can hear his heart bump against his ribcage and god, his face even flushes a little bit.
(A little bit inconvenient when he accidentally finds himself staring at you and daydreaming.)
Akaashi doesn’t like this feeling.
I mean, yeah, Akaashi has somewhat of a sense of confidence in his looks, manners, and ability to make friends. He’s not exactly the top in each subject he thinks, but it lets him pass through high school without too much of a depressingly lonely life. He could easily befriend you and steal your heart, his inner ego-brat says.
But.. but what if you reject him?
He should become closer to you.
(For the record, he doesn’t not like the feeling. He kind of likes the serotonin boost you give him. But he definitely, more than kind of likes you.
A lot more.)
And one day, in the spring, he finds himself paired up with a special biology partner. With familiar, sparkling eyes and the cutest, most gorgeous voice he’s ever heard that always makes his heart fucking backflip.
Akaashi doesn’t think he can survive this.
His teacher blares, “Start brainstorming ideas for your science fair project! It’s due in a month, you know!”, but Akaashi blocks out the noise because all he can focus on is you, goddamn it. He can only focus on the way you push your hair out of your face, the way your lips upturn into the most stunning smile he’s ever had the fate of encountering, and he really hopes he doesn’t get h-
“Akaashi-kun?”
(Fuck you and your completely gorgeous voice that drives him up the wall and makes him want to kiss you.)
“Oh– sorry, yeah?” He kind of hates himself for how his voice lilted a pitch higher.
You laugh, sounding like a goddess. He hopes that it means you don’t hate him. “Ahaha, I was just wondering if you have any ideas for the science fair? It’s a pretty big chunk of our grade, and I am… not the smartest when it comes to AP Bio..”
Akaashi thinks quite the opposite, but he isn’t currently in the position to contradict you.
“Um…” He pauses and thinks furiously. He comes up with some borderline generic idea that has enough room for a unique twist. And your eyes brighten.
“Waaaoo, Akaashi-kun’s a genius, hm?”
(God, he thinks he might have a little more than a crush on that teasing grin and glittering pair of eyes.)
He musters the courage to smile without looking stupid. “Of course.”
Two weeks later, he wants to sink into a hole.
Yes, it might have been his request that you two meet up to work on the project, but that was because he knew you were a procrastinator! You would start the project the night before if he’d let you!
But it was not his idea to do it at his house.
Now he has to live with the fact that you’re lying on HIS bed, spread-eagled in your sweater and shorts, complaining about how lazy you are.
(He wonders how you’re so comfortable about wearing shorts to a male classmate’s house. You two aren’t even that close, although you claim otherwise.)
“Come on, get up,” he rolls his eyes. “We have work to do.”
“But I’m so tiiiiiredddd… and lazyyyy…. wouldn’t it be such a gentlemanly act of Akaashi-kun to do the project for me?” You flash him a sweet smile while stretching out even more on the bed.
Snorting, he watches you sink into his mattress and roll around idly. “Hey, don’t you need the grade? You can’t pass if you make me do your work.”
Sighing, you hum in defeated content. “Well, it was worth a try.” You reach out your hand and tousle his wavy hair, and he almost flinches at the touch. He hates to say it but he loves it so much that you’re so affection with him, and Akaashi knows he would give anything to keep you teasing him with all this attention.
“Yeah.. yeah, it was,” he murmurs to himself before letting himself sit down next to you. He notices how you scrunch your body from a spread-eagle to a cute, curled up position to make room for him.
“Mm, so how are we gonna do this?” you ask, with a subtle mixture of bored and curious seeping into your tone. Then, he watches your features melt into a warm, mischievous smile as you hum, “Unless you just wanna nap and cuddle or something.”
(Holy fuck.)
Akaashi forces himself to scowl playfully and he shakes his head, sighing loudly in mock disappointment. “I don’t know what to do with you.” And equally as teasing, he adds, “I should just kick you out and not treat you to lunch if you’re going to be like this.”
“Noooooo!!!” you whine in this adorably frustrated and threatening voice. “Don’t you dare starve me or I’m feeding you to the rats.”
He chuckles. “See, that’s what I thought.”
But of course, your face wraps into a devilish grin as you say in a singsong voice and throw your arms around him (which makes him flush and makes his heart go WABAM), “It doesn’t matter though, ‘cause I got this whole-ass meal right here~”
“Shut up.”
(But you both know he never means it.)
Thanks to Akaashi (and your obliging albeit lazy participation), you two blow the science fair out of the way and get an A. He’s never seen you so delighted about a grade.
“I’m so happy~” you never shut up about how grateful you are for him, not that he’s complaining. “This is probably the highest mark I’ve ever gotten in this class.”
“Don’t over exaggerate. You’re not too bad at Bio,” Akaashi remarks. “You just need a tutor, probably, if you’re struggling.”
(By the way, he is ecstatic that you two are ACTUALLY FRIENDS!!! He’s even met your dog!!)
“Hmmmm…” You eye him warily before shrugging. “Whatever you say, Akaashi-kun.” Your eyes flit around before returning on him, and you start rambling about the newest anime you’ve gotten into and how it’s practically on-par with the manga, and how hot one of their characters are-
(For some reason Akaashi really zeroes in on that part.)
He really feels like he has to contribute something to the conversation, so he puts in, “Wow, [Name]-san, you’re such a fangirl.”
You snort loudly and put two peace-signs to your face like some kawaii anime girl, doing this mock-sweet smile. “Waaaooo, you’re rightttt. I’m Akaashi-kun’s number one fan!! He’s so cute when he’s yelling at me to do my work and super hot when he helps me with homew-”
He swears to god his face is radiating an inhuman amount of heat and he rolls his eyes before shaking his head and jabbing your side lightly. “Didn’t I tell you not to say that?”
“Ummm, maybe.” Your ‘innocent’ grin tells him otherwise. “But you know, you’re right, Akaashi-kun,” you cross your arms and give your cute little smirk again. “I am a genius, and I’m suuuper good at Bio. I just need someone to channel it.” And you lean forward until both your noses are touching, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode. “So maybe you could help me out?”
The subtle pleading undercurrent in your voice compels Akaashi to straighten up a little bit without flushing even redder. Keep cool, keep cool.
(He prays that his skill of keeping a poker face will hide the blood rushing around in his dick.)
“Well, what time?”
This time around, he finds himself at your house instead. You both are sitting at your desk, ‘working’ on your math and Bio homework. In other words, just talking.
He’s confident now in that the two of you are close friends. He’s learned that from afar, you were a sweet and confident yet perfectly kind girl. That was the girl he based his feelings off of. During your Bio project, he found the cheeky, sly and vibrant yet chill girl who always teased him but was still nonetheless sweet.
And now, under that facade, you were an anxious mess with a shit-ton of insecurities.
(He thinks it’s funny how you boast that you’re just like Shrek. You have layers.)
Akaashi glances at you, groaning with your head down onto the table. “I hate math..” he hears you grumble.
“Hey, you’re not too bad. You just have to be careful when plugging in your equations,” he counters.
“But what if I can’t remember my equations??”
“We both know you’re fine at remembering them.”
“I’m gonna fail.”
“Have faith in yourself, because I do.” And Akaashi is being completely honest. His confidence in you being just fine and being able to pass all your classes is strong because he’s seen you work (after procrastinating). “You just have to work on not putting things off until the last minute.”
You make a frustrated noise before resting your chin on your propped hand. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just.. destined to be set back, y’know? Like, everything I do is gonna somehow backfire on me.”
He knows the feeling, especially late at night in bed, stressing over what tomorrow might bring him.
“And like… I have this whole thing set up for me. When people know me as a classmate, I’m an average student, right? Then when we’re like… ‘friends’, I’m all weird and tease-y.” You let out a loud sigh. “And to the unlucky people who get to this stage, I’m a mess.”
“Stop.” Akaashi’s surprised at how firm he is. “I’m grateful to have met you and to have become your friend, [Name]. You’re going to be fine, you need to trust yourself more. Because I trust you more than anything.”
(Yes, he is on first-name basis with you!! Yes, he trusts you even more than he might even trust Bokuto!!)
Your lips twitch into a small smile, one that he’s grown to love and adore. He’s confident that he’s so fucking deep in love and he doesn’t know how to move on. “You really think so?”
“Of course I do.” He flicks some crumpled-up post-it at you. “Since we’re not doing any homework anytime soon, what else do you want to talk about?”
Your gaze becomes a little more shy and nervous. “Umm… Weeell, I need help.”
“I mean, why else would I be here?”
“No, seriously, Keiji-kun. Seriously!!” You throw mock-fit, despite obviously looking anxious.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m listening. Sorry.”
“Uh. Um, so…” You blink and pretend to look focused on doodling on the corner of your math paper. “There’s this dude I like. Like, I reaaally like him, which is surprising even for me.” You laugh a little bit, and as Akaashi feels his heart start to tear in half, he forces out a chuckle to match. “He’s suuuper pretty– I think that’s the word for it? Pretty. And he’s kinda funny in his own way, and he’s really sweet and listens to me all the time even when I don’t deserve his time. And I dunno, I think he might like me back? Also, I really really really like him. But I don’t really know how to confess…
“Because you know, I’m kinda wack like that, haha. I’ll probably screw up the confession and make things worse, and, well, I need help.” You finish your ramble with a loud breath and you collapse your head onto the table, groaning.
“Uh–” Fuck, oh fuck him, fuck his life. “I mean… I think just a heartfelt confession would do? Something simple and sweet that says you really like him, in case somehow your words don’t work.” Akaashi feels like he’s sweating, a lot, and he feels even more frustrated than ever. His heart is crashing against his ribcage, and his mind is a fucking mess.
You frown a little bit, and suddenly a gush of words fly out of your mouth like a stream bursting from a dam. “Oh my god, what if I’m reading the signs all wrong and he doesn’t at all like me back? I mean, I wouldn’t blame him because I’m kinda ugly and have this weird personality thing going on and I’m shit at math and Bio-”
“Stop.” Akaashi forces himself to intervene, mainly because 1) you’re literally the light of his life and 2) he feels like he has to leave really soon after dealing with the news. “Shut up, [Name]. You aren’t ugly at all, and I, for one, enjoy your weird personality. And I already told you, you’re fine with academics.” He makes himself make eye contact with you, peering up from your arm covering your face, and says, “If he rejects you, he isn’t worth your time at all and you should move on.”
(Preferably with me.)
He watches you exhale, like he just unwound a tight spring from inside of you, and your shoulders relax and you melt from your anxious state, just a little bit. “You’re right. If.. if he doesn’t feel the same, I’ll just forget about him.”
“Because you’re a genius.” Akaashi tries to hype you up, but he still feels like crumbling. Falsely checking his phone, he stretches and stands up. “I have to go now, sorry. My mom asked me to pick up my little sister from tutoring.”
“Huh, already?” Confusion flits across your face, and it hurts him even more to just leave you after you confided in him, but he knows he has to leave before he says something he might regret. “Oh, okaayy.. see you tomorrow then. Thanks for helping me out.” You yawn before standing up to hug him goodbye.
“No problem.” He says it casually, but Akaashi feels his mood drop faster and lower than ever. He hugs you back, but he breaks away fast.
After leaving your house and collapsing onto his bed in his locked bedroom (with his 11-year-old sister knocking on the door and curiously asking what’s wrong), he can’t help but feel hurt that you couldn’t even tell him who your mystery crush’s name was.
A week passes by, and neither of you mention the conversation at your house. It doesn’t matter either way, since you two are still so casually best friends. At the same time, he desperately wants to push the matter just to find out who it is.
Otherwise, Akaashi has noticeably been more quiet and moody to the point that he doesn’t know how to control it. Sure, he keeps up the same as he would before your conversation, but he can’t help but feel his heart sink everytime he sees you. His mind is ecstatic every time he talks to you, while simultaneously wanting to tear itself apart.
He’s tried getting rid of feelings for you, in literally every way possible. From avoiding thinking about you (which backfired horribly because he ended up thinking more about you) to focusing on other girls (ew, none of them were even capable of creating the same effect on him as you do), he’s tried it all and it’s all failed.
Akaashi realizes his silent slump has gotten so bad to the point that Bokuto made him sit out a few practice matches in the gym just because Akaashi was nowhere near the spot that any of the team expected him to be at.
After school, he meets with you near the vending machine as always. You buy two cans of coffee, one for you and one for him.
As soon as he takes the can gratefully, you clear your throat.
“Yeah, [Name]?”
Glancing around before staring him in the eye, you start, “Keiji-kun, before you run away, I just…. I just wanted to let you know I really really really like you. Like, a lot.” You start speaking kind of fast, so Akaashi can’t process what you’re saying.
“And I mean it. Ever since the Bio project, you’ve been so nice to me and you’ve been such a great friend even though I made it hard sometimes, and along the way I just caught feelings. You honestly mean everything to me, and I appreciate you so much for everything we’ve been through. I- I think, I love you, Keiji. And I hope you accept my feelings.” You smile, almost nervously but nonetheless sincere, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode.
“I- I,” Fuck, oh my fucking god, he thinks to himself. He’s shaking a little bit– that’s how happy he is. “[Name], I..” God fucking damn it, he can’t even express how happy he is. He feels his cheeks blossom and he feels his lips quirk into this goofy smile.
But then he watches you shy away a little bit as you hurriedly say, “I- I mean, sorry. It’s okay if you just wanna be friends-”
“No.” Finally, Akaashi can use his mouth and then he gently takes your cheeks in his hands and closes the gap between you two, lips connecting in a display of pining and affection.
He practically melts into the kiss, he’s never been so happy. He thinks he’s actually about to implode; he’s been dreaming about kissing you like this, against your soft, plush lips. And finally he’s able to call you his, to call you the one. When the two of you finally break away for air, he’s breathing hard and his mind is a mess, which is rare considering his usual stoic state.
Akaashi has also never seen you so flustered and blushy. He murmurs into your ear as he takes your hand, “Feelings are 100% reciprocated.”
“I can tell,” you laugh breathily, and he’s so happy to hear that some of your anxiety has dissolved in that sweet kiss. He’s absolutely infatuated with you in every aspect. He leans in for a soft, quicker kiss on the lips and savors the feeling of warmth he gets. “Dork.”, he whispers.
“Only for you.”
#akaashi keiji x reader#akaashi keiji#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu scenarios#holy shit this is long#this wasnt supposed to happen
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1115
survey by vintagekid
Name: Robyn.
Happy with it? I am now, but I certainly wasn’t as a kid. Other kids were cruel and would tease me solely for my name, which made it hard for me to socialize. I got the same bad Batman jokes too many times and I also got called a boy. These seem petty now, but as a kindergartener adjusting to life in school, it had been traumatizing and made me wonder if my classmates were going to remain the way they were for the long run which no 4-year-old should be mulling about, really.
Do you wear stilettos? When I get the chance, which isn’t very often at all. But I do love stilettos.
How important are looks to you? I find this question very vague, but generally looks matter to me to a certain extent, like how I’d want to look nice and proper for a job interview or for formal occasions such as weddings. Relationship-wise, I also think I have to feel a level of physical attraction towards someone for me to consider seeing them.
How often do you download music? I don’t anymore. I stream all my music.
Can you name a philosopher? Socrates.
What would you do if two unicorns tried to whisk you off to candy mountain? I just looked this up and this is apparently in reference to an ancient viral video, like it was around before viral videos were even a universally-acknowledged concept. That said, I don’t have a clue how to respond to this lmao.
You became the deciding vote in an election, which party would you go for? I don’t base my voting decisions on parties because the party system in my country is a tragically broken shitstorm in which every single party rallies the same values and principles, just executed in their own – and usually poor and unsustainable – ways. I do my research on each candidate, see how they answer in debates, look at laws they’ve authored, see which marginalized groups they proactively support (if they do), and decide from there.
Do you have a bzoink account? I don’t but I’ve been a semi-regular visitor since like 2009.
How many phone calls do you typically make in a day? Zero. People usually call me.
What song are you listening to? Tell Me It’s Okay by, surprise surprise, Paramore.
Do you understand things others your age do not? I don’t know. Maybe. Everyone’s bound to understand some things better than others.
Do you hate people that label themselves? Why would I hate that? And why would their chosen label be my business?
How many windows do you have open? None. There’s plenty of mosquitoes at night, so even though the cold evening air would been pleasant to have we have to keep the windows closed by nighttime.
How superstitious are you? Not at all.
If you were in Harry Potter, which house would you be in? I’ve been told either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw.
Which comedian can always crack you up? It’s not a habit of mine to watch comedians.
Are you nagged about being on the computer too much? Not since I was a teenager. Since college I’ve been doing most of my work, if not all of it, through my laptop, and I think my parents understand that I have to use it all the time.
Do you feel bad about anything you've done lately? Nothing comes to mind, no.
What's your texting bill typically like? My SIM is prepaid, so it works the other way around. I put load credits in it only if I know I’ll have to call/text/surf regularly.
What song did you/do you want played at your wedding? Turning Page by Sleeping At Last.
Do you have a lot or hardly any lines on your palms? Idk, a decent amount I guess? I don’t think it hits either extreme.
What's your favourite word? Poignant.
Are you allowed to swear in front of your parents? Yeah. They’ll shoot me a glare sometimes, but I’m in my 20s and...they know they can’t really do anything about it anymore lol.
Do you eat apples? No.
What are your addictions? Coffee, I suppose.
What are some words you use in daily life? I use intensifiers often, like very, really, super, absolutely, etc. I’m also big on expressions hahaha like oh my god, seriously, for real, and ugh.
Do you look things up on Google constantly? Yes.
Where do you get your music from? Spotify. Sometimes YouTube if I wanna look for a leak.
What do you think of people with afros? That they are people with afros...? I don’t really know what you’re looking for me to say, lmfao.
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survey by charey-chas
Do you like getting your picture taken? Not for the most part. My body instantly gets all frozen and awkward when a camera’s placed in front of me, which I hate because I do wish I could have more photos of myself around. Is your phone anywhere near you? It is not, actually. It feels great and I really should start making it a habit to keep it away from me entirely on weekends. Do you ever enjoy going to school? In my first school, I enjoyed going mainly (and probably only) for my friends; but Catholic school was predominantly a torturous experience. The rigidity isn’t something I look back fondly on, and it felt like being kept on a tight leash for 14 years. College was a lot more enjoyable in every way possible. I liked going to (most of) my classes and learning as much as I loved the vibrant org culture and the general freedom that comes with university life. Have you ever gone on a road trip? Lots. The Philippines is a relatively small country and unless you want to jump to a different island altogether, there are many provinces you can readily travel to by car. Who do you get along with best in your family? Nina, my sister. Then my dad. I clash a lot with my mom and I don’t talk to my brother. Based on your personality, what animal do you think you'd be? Cats and I don’t get along very well hahaha but I think I’m similar to them. Would you ever buy anything from an infomercial? Maybe once, just to be able to say that I have. Have you ever made a snow angel? No, because I’ve never seen snow before. Have you stayed in a hotel in the last month? No. We had a brief getaway in Tagaytay but we switched things up and went to rent a condo, instead of book a hotel room, for a weekend. What's your most comfortable outfit? If I want to go for comfortable, I usually go for my rompers or jumpsuits. Do you text or IM more? IM these days. Would you rather listen to music or play it? Listen. I have no music-playing skills whatsoever. Have you ever been in a hot tub? Sure. Do you like pizza? LOVE IT Are you sleeping in your own bed tonight? Yes. If not here, the couch. But most likely it will my bed tonight. Are any of your friends having a sleepover right now? I doubt it. Angela and Hans had an overnight stay in Batangas a few days ago for their Valentine’s shenanigans though, which I guess kinda counts as a sleepover. Have you ever been to a house party? I don’t think so. That’s something I missed out on in my college days, but I don’t mind. Do you listen to your iPod or the radio when you're in the car? I think I keep a good balance. If my phone’s battery is not very high I’ll rely on the radio; and sometimes I’ll sync my phone’s Spotify to the car as well.
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survey by charey-chas
What song is stuck in your head at the moment? RAVI’s BUM. What's your fathers' middle name? He doesn’t have a second name, but I’m not sharing his legal middle name on here either. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer? On work days, I’d say 8-10 hours. On weekends, maybe a little slightly less than that since I do like getting off the laptop sometimes to rest my eyes. Could you live without the internet? People from the past managed to live without it, so I know I can. It would just be extremely inconvenient; and having been dependent on it for such a long time now, I would likely be clueless on how to navigate most activities. What's something you're really into? Learning about cultural differences!! That’s why reading survey answers has always been fascinating to me. I would love a website that dives into the various everyday behavior people observe in other countries, but the ones that do exist use like 20- or 30-year-old sources, so they aren’t even relevant at all anymore. What's the last movie you saw in theaters? Knives Out. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D or in an IMAX theater? Just once. It was Denise and Leigh’s 18th birthday treat and they brought us to watch Doctor Strange in 3D. Do you prefer skirts, shorts, or skorts? Shorts. Have you ever vandalized? Just a few school chairs in grade school, but otherwise I’m too paranoid for vandalism lol. What's the longest you've stayed up? Maybe a little longer than 24 hours. Who'd you have a sleepover with last? Gabie. When's the last time you baked something? Nearly a decade ago. Our oven was new at the time and I wanted to try baking cookies. Do you like to dance? When I’m alone. Do you scratch mosquito bites, even though you're not supposed to? Yup. Are you afaid of spiders or do you like them? I mean I’m not fond of them, but I also don’t scream and run away when I see them. I just don’t care for them for the most part. What's a pet you've always wanted? I’ve only ever wanted dogs, and now I’ve got two of them. Do you like mice? Not really. Would you ever get a tattoo? Sure. I’ve been considering it for a while now; it’s just a matter of being able to save up for one. Do you prefer to walk in the street or on the sidewalk? Street, if it’s bare and safe enough. Otherwise if I’m in a busy city with regulations and all I’d obviously rather be on the sidewalk. What's your favorite t-shirt? My CM Punk Best in the World merch. Who did you last think about? I remembered Deina when I was thinking about the tattoo question. She got a pawprint tattoo on her wrist shortly before her senior dog passed away and ever since learning about it I’ve also been thinking about getting the same tattoo. Do you like giving hugs? I love giving hugs and it’s an automatic response for me whenever I see someone I love, which is why Covid is such a torture for me. Do you prefer hardwood flooring or carpeting? Hardwood. Did you/will you get a car for your 16th birthday? No. I got a car when I was 17, around six months before I started college. Have you ever eaten a worm? No but I’d be willing to try.
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you ever have that one muse that’s just like . . . no matter how many characters you play , not matter how much time goes by , you will never get sick of writing that muse & they’re such a huge comfort character and mean the world to you ?? YES , that’s me with miss zelda here . i . . . love zelda ( the character and the series ) with every fiber of my being and after a lot of debate i finally decided i’d bring her here !! i’m doing leon’s intro next and will try to get to replies ( want to get down zel’s intro soon but i’d like to plot things first ) afterwards but pls pls pls here’s a detailed plotting call for my princess !! pls like / react if you’re interested - or let me know if we’re already plotting !!
IN A CANON NUTSHELL : so this zelda is the princess from the masterpiece known as breath of the wild - one hundred years before the events of the game , she was kind of the ‘leader’ of the champions , a group of people who were tasked to aid in protecting hyrule once calamity ganon rose again . link , who was also a champion , was assigned as her personal knight - in the beginning . . . she did not like him for the fact that he seemed to have everything under control and she didn’t . why ?? well , zelda , from birth , was told she had to unlock a power in herself that would potentially save hyrule from the calamity , and for some reason , no matter how hard she tried , she couldn’t do it . and she was mad at herself for feeling like a failure when she was put under an intense amount of pressure from her father & the prophecy - even called the heir to a throne of nothing because of how no results came from her ceaseless prayers . EVENTUALLY , her powers would reveal themselves . . . but only after the calamity arrived , all of the champions had been downed ( save for link , on the verge of death ) , and all seemed lost . but she would use her power to protect hyrule & keep the calamity contained inside hyrule castle until link would awaken and finish him off .
IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL : so zelda . daughter of a preacher ( father ) & a lawyer ( mother , now deceased ) , always expected to be the picture perfect child hence why she never got much of a chance to have a break from endless studying & extra things . she’s always been a straight-a student , has done fencing since she was a child , trilingual in english spanish & mandarin chinese , now a star college student majoring in biology ( her own choice , because she loves science ) and minoring in law ( because her father wants her to be a lawyer like her mother & she uhh hates it ! ) she’s seen as ‘little miss perfect’ because she can do so much and never seems to do any wrong but zelda is uhhh sick of that and is actually now trying to rebel against her father and throw herself into trouble . since lowkey all of this shit is killing her and she wants to breathe freely . she’s trying to do what she wants to do hence why she’s majoring in bio instead of law , working at the local florist instead of taking a law internship , actually trying to pursue a social life outside of the people her dad approves of . that stuff . she’s basically a genius who wants to say ‘fuck u’ to the people telling her what to do and go on her own path and i think that’s sexy .
BUT OHHHHHHHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH ZELDA SO BAD OHHHHHHH
so zelda . given her situation ?? there is so much to work with . lemme spout off these ideas bc i’m so fucking excited .
firstly - people who know about her little miss perfect reputation and either dislike her or are intimidated by her for it . zelda isn’t a snob in the slightest but with someone who does as much as she does it’s only natural to assume she is . but she isn’t , i promise ; she hates that being her epithet .
kind of building off the idea of people knowing abt her whole ‘lmp’ thing - i’d love some folks who actually entertain zelda’s desires to break away from that and take her out to do rebellious shit or something like that !! because zelda wants to get the fuck out she hates it here .
some who encourage her and some who do the opposite - ‘you can do it, don’t be scared’ vs. ‘you really don’t belong here so go back to your books and pencils’
maybe ppl who hold zelda to some sort of pedestal bc of her reputation ?? which is equally as bad to her - she’s lowkey crumbling under all these expectations and she’s amazing but to be seen as someone . . . above other people , she doesn’t like that at all .
also those folks who in any grade of school rly have tried to exploit her need to get good grades & genius to their advantage aka if i pair up with the smart kid we’ll get an a guaranteed . can be anywhere - could’ve been in the past or could be now .
CLASSMATES in general . from elementary , middle school , high school for the past , and now college classmates .
study buddies !! study buddies that zelda either vibes with immensely in terms of how she works or butts heads with them . her way of thinking is both incredibly organized but also all over the place . she can be either very easy or difficult to work with .
gimme some school rivals or equals aka ppl that zelda’s on par with in terms of intellect/grades and either they fucking hate each other or make a pretty good team . maybe both ! put the smart ppl in a room together and see what happens .
also want to clarify this can be on both the bio or law side for any of these college-based connections bc zelda is taking both she’s just . way more passionate about biology than she is law .
OLD FENCING TEAMMATES OR RIVALS PLEASE yes she is still fencing to this day and she’s awesome at it . she’s got a shitton of medals and she actually likes it but it’s another thing that was forced upon her since she was young .
her dad is a local preacher so by nature she’s always expected to be at church so ppl who know her as the preacher’s daughter/from church bc imma keep it real zelda ain’t that enthused abt that religion either but again . once again have to fill father’s expectations . one day tho she’s just gonna stop showing up .
i’d like maybe a social circle who zelda’s father approves of ?? like , friends who zelda has but they’re more so just bc that’s what mr. king wanted . i’d also like a partner/ex-partner to fit this description aka zelda’s not rly that into it or was into it bc it was again . kinda just ‘i’m just dating you bc my dad approves of you’ kinda deal and maybe she tried but overall . didn’t/doesn’t work .
i also , though , like the idea of a social circle who zelda’s father would never approve of and she hangs w/ them bc maybe she likes them or maybe she also just wants to prove a point . maybe she dated someone for this reason too - just the whole spectrum of ‘what dad wants vs. what dad wasn’t’ bc pissing off her dad is kind of a major goal at this point .
so maybe regular customers of the flower shop she works at - she just . zelda rly loves flowers & nature ( and again science as a whole , especially life science hence biology ) and she can go off on so many tangent about flowers please talk to her about flowers . maybe even bring her some flowers too jk unless
i’d rly find it awesome if zelda had some ppl who maybe liked her enough to follow her when she goes out just studying things and listen to her bc she loves to talk about her passions - she likes taking hikes and trips out into nature or the botanical gardens and stuff like that to do studies / experiments of her own . she likes museums , gardens , the outdoors - zelda loves knowledge and learning about things and if someone just kept her company while she did so that’d be awesome .
i’m a sucker for canon parallels with non-canon characters so . maybe a relationship that doesn’t rly have any specificity in what portion of zelda’s life ( school , father approved social circle , father disapproved social circle , night life etc etc ) but mirrors her relationship with link in breath of the wild - for whatever reason , zelda and this other character are around each other very frequently and the beginning for some reason she is very put off by it but then comes around and eventually this muse , they become extremely closer with her and important to her . in any way !! idk if it’s platonic or romantic but , in rps like this that’s lowkey my jam but it works the best with miss zelda
AS ALWAYS - friends ! enemies ! former crushes ! exes ! gimme anything and all !! the princess of hyrule is AT YOUR SERVICE and i’m so excited to write her . i love her .
and now . . . onto leon’s intro i hopefully go .
#dhq.plots#░ ★ abt . ❛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴇᴄʜᴏᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ﹐ ·ᴛɪʟ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ ɪs ᴍʏ ɢʜᴏsᴛ / zelda#parental death mention
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LIKE A BAT OUTTA HELL, I’LL BE GONE WHEN THE MORNING COMES...
Matty Kincaid, confidential-style. AKA a proper detailed character bio.
START ME UP NAME, USUALLY: Matty NAME, ON THE PAPERWORK: Matthew Carter Kincaid NAME, WHEN HE’S LYING: Matty Kerrigan, Mark, other things starting with M and K
BORN: 8 December, 1954 IN: Bremerhaven, (then West) Germany TO: Carter Kincaid and Patricia Kincaid (formerly O’Brien)
DIED: 8 December, 1987 IN: New York City, U.S.A. OFFICIAL CAUSE OF DEATH: Unknown - missing, presumed dead given quantity of blood at the scene. Foul play suspected. Legally declared dead in absentia in 1990.
TO LOOK AT YOU FACE: Luke Arnold HEIGHT: 5’7”, plus hair BUILD: On the slighter side - doesn’t look especially well, these days. Stringy. EYES: Blue HAIR: Dark brown, curly. Face kept clean-shaven, generally. Blood in your beard is a bad fuckin’ time. DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Definitely his hair, which, to this day, is maintained in a full-on, past-the-shoulders-length shag. His smile’s pretty spectacular - rock-star grade, right - but especially memorable if you see him fangs-out; he’s recently aged into a second set of fangs (first bicuspids, top and bottom, in addition to canines). Double the piercing damage. Roll for initiative. PIERCINGS: One per ear, on the lobes. Did it himself in high school, in the bathroom at home, because that seemed more likely to upset his parents. Hasn’t worn anything in them for a while, though. INK: A few pieces of mostly spontaneous flash, and a couple other things. Most were for the experience - usually shared with bandmates - more than any kind of planned artistic endeavor.
SCHOOL’S OUT EDUCATION: Attended multiple public schools in West Germany, Texas, Georgia, Colorado, and Florida. Almost completed two semesters at UCLA. Almost. Dropped out to take the band on the road. Did play the MC in the university’s production of Cabaret, though, before he left. Nailed it. Rave reviews. Counts for something, right?
STUFF, THINGS
English might be his first language, but German is a very, very close second. He picked up a few bits of small talk in other languages along the way, but never wound up fluent or thoroughly conversational in anything. Just a couple nice phrases for the fans, right.
Matty had to teach himself to play piano, or at least to play music on piano, by ear; he only learned the more technical aspects of the instrument later, but can transpose pretty freely.
He figured out enough about tailoring to do little adjustments to his own clothes, as a kid fighting for ways to look like himself. Sure, he can’t do anything too fancy, but Matty knows how to make something off the thrift shop rack look sharp. For a given, very eighties-attuned idea of sharp.
SUPERNATURAL STUFF, THINGS
When it comes to supernatural knowledge, Matty knows a bit about a few things. But his awareness is generally broader than it is deep, and packed with misconceptions - mostly based on bad experience and his general terror of supernatural nonsense. He genuinely buys into the worst beliefs about vampires, for instance, which is part of why he has such a heckin’ hard time functioning.
He’s obviously most familiar with vampires, including some subspecies; not all, by a long shot. After that, his useful and accurate knowledge slides sharply, from most to least: hunters, zombies, werewolves, spellcasters, ghosts, mediums, the most common fae (like spriggans, or nymphs). Informed by whoever he’s snitching for, he tends to know the key points - giveaways, major strengths, vital weaknesses. But, of course, this is all filtered through instructions from hunters, so. Super skewed.
As playable species go, he’s heard of (but knows nothing real about, and doesn’t necessarily believe in) banshees, empaths, and aura readers. Sounds fake, you know?
He’s got no idea bugbears, mara, the rarer fae types, furies, or pretty much any non-werewolf shapeshifters even exist. Matty also doesn’t know that, uh, phoenixes are people too. Which is why the ash problem isn’t really a problem. Yet.
WHO ARE YOU (WHO, WHO) STARS: Sagittarius BEST: Passionate, creative, charming, affectionate WORST: Defensive, conflicted, fearful, self-loathing
NEED YOU TONIGHT WHAT’S HE INTO, ANYWAY: TLDR version, you took a perfectly good pan and gave him homoerotic anxiety. “You” being a prejudiced time, a rigid home with rigid ideas about what a boy was supposed to be and desire, and an entertainment industry that had its own expectations - some liberating, some their own kind of cage - as to what made a leading man in a wild American rock band.
Not TLDR version, Matty’s pansexual, but given the environment he grew up in, and the strange mixture of possibilities and pressures of the life he led, attraction to masculine figures has been a difficult thing for him to navigate. He’s had a lot of fun with women, publicly and privately, but his encounters with men were secretive, and limited. (Doesn’t count if it’s an orgy, right?) Matty spent most of his life feeling that his reputation, his image, was something collectively owned - if he fucked up, it would hurt the band, and that he couldn’t stand the thought of.
RELATIONSHIPS: Many, historically, anyway. Matty was the pretty boy frontman of a band that made it big, and he certainly dated like it - there were models, actresses, socialites, whatever.
YEAH, BUT NOW: Nada. Matty hasn’t had a genuine friend since he died, nevermind any kind of intimacy.
METAL HEALTH GENERALLY: An unstable combination of uneven blood supply, a great deal of substance abuse, and poorly dealt with vampirism.
PHYSICALLY: He’s dead, Jim. Pretty good, considering that. DETAILS: Before he got souped up on vampire juice, Matty was pretty terribly near-sighted, and wore glasses for it - offstage, at least. Now, of course, it’s not an issue. Kinda fucks with his painting, though. He’s not sure this is an improvement.
PSYCHOLOGICALLY: Well, still dead. Pretty not good, considering that. DETAILS: Back in the day, Matty was actually seeing a psychiatrist pretty regularly, and had been since his mid-twenties. They had plenty to talk about, but anxiety was a recurring theme. By the time of his death, these appointments were more a matter of “maintenance” than anything else; he was doing genuinely well. But, you know. Unlife… found a way.
TYPES & TROPES Addled Addict Artistic Stimulation Beautiful Singing Voice Friendly Neighborhood Vampire Horror Hunger I Hate You, Vampire Dad Metal Scream The Rock Star Sex, Drugs, and Rock n’ Roll Starving Artist Warm Blood Bags Are Everywhere
DID IT FOR THE MEMES “Um, Matty, could you read Number Twenty Three for the class?” “No, I cannot. What up, I’m Matty, I’m almost sixty-seven, and I never fuckin’ learned how to read!”
“When life gives you vampirism!”
“Adam!”
“I’m working on my coke addiction. My - my diet coke addiction. Aha.”
“So I’m sitting there, with human blood on my titties…”
“Is that a police? I’m calling the weed!”
“You’re NOT my SIRE!”
“Two bros, chillin’ in a hot tub, five feet apart cuz they’re not gay.”
“AH! Stop, I could’ve dropped my bloodbag…”
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Thank you Mr. Yamada
Summary: You’re undergoing some serious stress involving grades and schoolwork, and when Aizawa proves less than helpful, you end up confiding in an oddly sweet and comforting Present Mic.
We’ve all talked smack about a teacher before right? Lol cuz this has some of that... and even good teachers make mistakes by telling us things we don’t want to hear...
I wanna dedicate this to Mental Health month, because I know students have struggled with school and it can take a toll on our mental health, and not just school, but with work and life in general so... this might be my favorite fic so far. Cuz I’m sure we’ve all had those wonderful teachers who have actually helped us during some times where we really needed it.
And no there’s NO romance at all in this fic, Reader just has a crush on Present Mic but it don’t go no further than that. This is purely platonic anf fluffy fic featuring a teacher just helping out a student because teachers are supposed to help students. And I can see Present Mic being an emotionally intelligent dude since his intelligence is at 5/5, smarter than Aizawa cuz he’s only 4/5... XD
Sorry Aizawa lol...
And I shamelessly alluded to Mean Girls quite a bit in this one I just love that movie XD
BTW SORRY FOR ANY OOC-NESS!!
Featuring: Favorite Parakeet Dad!!
You're never gonna be alone! From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall, You're never gonna be alone! I'll hold you 'till the hurt is gone.
-”Never Gonna Be Alone” by Nickelback
“*You… have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand the rights I have read to you?*”
In English class with your favorite teacher, you had recited the Miranda rights in often stated in America from police when they arrested villains and criminals during the lesson of differences in hero laws in Japan and America. English had gotten easier for you, and you liked to think you were slightly better at it than most of your classmates were.
“YES! Perfection (L/N)! Always the first one to answer right on the dot!” Yamada made sure to loudly praise you in front of the class, because while he didn’t want to play favorites like your homeroom teacher did, he felt that it was necessary since you looked like you needed a little support lately.
“T-Thank you, Mr. Yamada.” You somewhat shyly thanked your English teacher after receiving such praise, not entirely oblivious to some looks your classmates were giving to Yamada. They weren’t jealous or anything, but the loud pro-hero certainly made it a point to make you sound like the best student in this class.
Needless to say, it kind of made you happy since you had been struggling lately in your other classes. Especially with Aizawa.
Speaking of which…
You were distracted and feeling kinda groggy the entire time in the Hero course, sighing as you tiredly stared off into space and barely registering anything Aizawa, or was it Iida talking? Whoever it was, you weren’t really listening, you were thinking of something else and trying to not think about how bad you were doing in class.
After seeing everyone improve on their quirks and overcoming their own issues, just… really made you feel like you were doing the opposite. And you hated it…
Everyday you tried your hardest, pushed yourself even if it made your muscles ache and your bones hurt the next day. You worked with your quirk as much as you could, even trying to carry a larger portion of water to try and control it as much as you could. Your parents worried that you were going overboard and trying to go beyond your limits, but you really just wanted to get better like everyone else. Not just to feel proud of yourself, but to make everyone around you proud. Even if it meant working yourself tired, and even if it meant forcing yourself to keep everything inside so you could focus on what mattered.
However…
For a while you had really been pretending to be okay until class ended and lunch break had started. Before you could get up to leave to the cafeteria, Aizawa stopped you.
“(L/N).”
You sighed to yourself, closing your eyes and preparing yourself to reluctantly go over to your teacher. What did you do this time? “Yes?” Despite your mood, you made sure to sound polite.
“I need your parents to sign this.” Aizawa gave you a report with a few marks on it, which was detailing a list of things you apparently needed to work on. “Let them know that you’re failing.” The words hit you like a school bus as you inhaled deeply.
“Failing?” You asked incredulously, even though you believed it based on your gradually worsening performances and lack of focus in class lately. He nodded, but it almost seemed as if he didn’t want to tell you this.
“That’s right. I’ve been seeing you regress during physical training. Your supermove also needs more work and thought put into. You barely managed to get your hero license because you had your classmates help you out. I don’t know what’s been distracting you, but you need to work on that because it’s getting in the way of your progress.” Every critique he gave you felt like arrows to your back as you kept your composure.
“I see that you’re struggling, but that’s why I’m telling you what you need to work on, because I know you have potential, but lately you haven’t been living up to it. You don’t want to waste it by letting your vulnerabilities show.” Aizawa wasn’t exactly trying to sound harsh, but he was being honest with you to let you know what he was seeing from you.
“How would you know what vulnerabilities are?”
You steadied your breathing while your teacher talked, resisting the urge to storm out and ignore him like you had been the past couple of months.
“I can help you. You’re here to become a hero, and it’s my job to make sure that you become one. And you can’t be a hero if you’re not trying to catch up to the others. But I know you’re stronger and smarter than this, so I’m going to give you more study sessions and training sessions to help you improve.” He offered you help, but all you heard was him accuse you of not trying to catch up.
“I understand. Thank you, sir, I needed to hear that.” You smiled politely albeit a little sadly. That was a complete lie, you were aware that you were struggling and the way he said all of that just made you feel like shit.
But you still smiled despite the emotions that were brewing inside you but you’ve been pretending to be okay for a good portion of your life so you knew how to keep the tears at bay. And you were NOT going to cry in front of your teacher, especially not the one you felt was bringing you down.
Aizawa looked at you pensively, as if he almost sensed that you weren’t being a hundred percent honest, so he asked you.
“Are you all right (L/N)?” Maybe he was a little harsh with his words, and he could tell that something was a little bit wrong, because he knew that your smile wasn’t real.
“No. No I’m good, I totally get it and I promise I will push myself hard, I know what I gotta do now. I just needed that little push.” You nodded, forcing yourself to sound more chipper as your fake smile grew. And you were thankful that you were good at acting since Aizawa seemed to believe your lies as he sighed a bit.
“Well good. I know you can do it. That’s why I’m pushing you.”
You almost missed the good intentions in his words, because you were too mad to even believe him. “Thank you again Mr. Aizawa. And if there’s anything else I can do to improve, just let me know and I will do it.”
As you smiled, you didn’t notice that your classmate Aoyama was there to eat lunch by himself and he saw right through you. He knew you weren’t being honest and that you most certainly weren’t happy after hearing everything yours and his teacher had told you.
“I will.” Aizawa said to you before you left the classroom in a bit of a huff…
SECONDS LATER…
“I HATE HIM!” You stormed off to scream in the bathroom, but you made sure that you were alone because you knew that ranting about this to the other girls wouldn’t allow you to vent. They would tell you a bunch of bullshit about how Aizawa was ‘trying to help’.
Why? Because they told you that the last time you tried venting about your troubles in class and didn’t help you at all. You loved those girls, but you wanted to slap them silly for dismissing how angry you were that day. So it was just better to vent to yourself, by yourself…
It’s not like they would understand anyway, they all seemed pretty pleased with themselves.
“He’s failing me on purpose I swear to God… that… that fucking jerk… why is it always me? Why am I always being the one singled out…? It’s not like I’m the dumbest and the weakest one in class…” You muttered and asked yourself when you thought about your other classmates who weren’t doing too good either, but they weren’t being called out for it.
Kaminari and Ashido were so much worse at taking tests than you were, and Mineta had a weak-ass quirk while your water quirk could at least pack a punch so why weren’t those three getting read like you were?
You have potential, but lately you haven’t been living up to it?
Did that mean you were losing your potential?
Wasting it and letting your vulnerabilities show?
Weren’t you a human first and a hero second?
Can’t be a hero if you’re not trying to catch up?
But weren’t you trying your damn hardest every goddamn day?
Who does Mr. Aizawa think he is? You wondered as you retreated from the mirror and locked yourself in one of the bathrooms stalls to sit down with your hands in your head, unable to stop a flood of tears from streaming down your face as you began wondering if you were overreacting.
At least, until the rest of your intrusive thoughts came to haunt you.
‘He’s right you know. You’re only mad because he’s right! And do you see Midoriya, Bakugou and Todoroki? They’re doing things you could never do! Congratulations, you’re going to fail and never become a hero cuz the only things you’ve succeeded in this class at all is being weak, slow AND stupid. Your teacher sees it and your classmates can see it!’
The saboteur in your head taunted you as you cried quietly to yourself and trembled where you sat. God what were your parents going to think when you tell them you’re failing?
And on top of that, there was no way you were going back to class looking like this. You refused.
It’s not like anyone was going to worry or even notice that you weren’t in class because clearly, you were the weakest link in class. You felt that it was better if everyone just did their things without you. You were useless right now, and you were being completely honest, you didn’t want to see any of your classmates right now.
How could they relate to you? They were all doing so much better than you anyway, and they were all stronger, smarter and more talented than you were.
There was no way they could understand…
4 HOURS LATER…
You didn’t want to leave the bathroom, not when it was the only place of privacy where you could hide. Honestly, you were considering just staying in there for the rest of the day, and somehow sneak into your dorm-room and then stay in there for the rest of the night. No one would bother you, and most importantly, you wouldn’t bother anyone either with your pathetic problems.
However, realistically, you knew that couldn’t happen and you were getting kind of bored being all alone in this smelly room and with your phone on low. As much as you didn’t want to, it was time to get out for just a little bit and keep skipping class and fake an illness like mono if you have to; you weren’t going back to class, you absolutely refused.
Sighing, you slowly opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom with a heaviness in your chest that was begging you to go find someplace to sleep in an attempt to make this shitty day go away by closing your eyes. It was already close to the last class of the day, but you had no plans on showing up. Sure you’d get in trouble for it later, but at this point you barely cared anymore. All you wanted to do was stick to your plan and sneak back to your dorm-room so you could be miserable in peace.
“(L/N)?”
Your favorite teacher’s voice made you freeze in your tracks and gasp audibly in shock. Just like that your body reacted on its own as you started shaking nervously but kept your back turned even though Yamada’s enthusiastic and loud voice was impossible for you to ignore.
“There you are! Eraser’s been looking for you for a while! Said your classmates didn’t know where you were at! In fact, I think they’re all looking for you!”
Aizawa was worried about you? You honestly couldn’t imagine why, and you didn’t believe it. But just thinking about that was making you quiver more, fists clenching as your lips trembled and tears built up in your eyes, spilling down because there were too much for your eyes to hold back. There was nothing you could do, you wanted to just walk away or even run but how could you do that to Yamada? When he was the only teacher that you felt gave you the most praise when you clearly sucked at everything.
“Haha I can’t wait to see his face when he sees that I found you! And he was worried… but I knew you had to be around campus somewhere~. After all you’re not the type who would skip class, though to be honest you haven’t really been-”
Before he had a chance to finish his sentence you finally turned to face him with your lip quivering and tears running down your face as you sniffled. He quickly shut himself up as the smile on his face immediately fell and contorted into an uncharacteristically concerned frown. Looking directly at him, you saw what looked like worry in his eyes through his glasses. Yamada was usually such a loud man who was almost always smiling that seeing him so quiet and frowning was almost unnatural to you.
“Hey… (Y/N)… what’s wrong?” He asked you in a rare, soft and very concerned tone. Something not many had the opportunity to hear from the loud-mouthed, carefree pro-hero.
As hard as you tried to keep it all in, everything just poured out of you. Word vomit at its best.
“I… I’m failing the hero course… and I-I’m… I’m trying SO hard… but it’s not enough… I-I haven’t been improving a-and… t-the more I think about it… the more I think t-that I… I should have tried harder… I should have studied harder… worked harder… but… it’s just so hard…” You shut your eyes as tears fell to the ground, unable to hold back the sob that crept out of your throat and made your shoulders shake up and down from the remaining cries that you apparently weren’t finished getting rid of yet. Apparently, you weren’t finished crying yet, and now the concern Mr. Yamada showed you was enough to trigger the overwhelming disappointment with yourself into making you cry in self-pity.
You hated it.
Frankly, Yamada was alarmed by the sight of a student crying, but there was no way he was going to leave you alone. He knew what you were talking about too, he had noticed that you hadn’t been as energetic lately, nor did you seem happy at all. Sure, you paid attention in HIS class, but he knew that’s because you were confident in there. However, based on what Aizawa had been telling him about you and the rest of his students and from what he’s seen in your overall demeanor, he knew you had fallen into a slump and this was a result of bottling up all your stress. Now it was all pouring out and it practically broke his heart seeing you like this.
“M-M…M-Mr. Aizawa… h-he… he knows I’m weak a-and s-stupid… he’s not saying it outright, but I know he knows it… and he’s right… n-n-nno matter what I try, nnnnn-nothing works… I’m guh-getting worse… e-eh-ev-everyone’s getting better… e-e-everyone… b-but me…” You choked out tearfully in between sobs, barely able to even talk as you opened up what had been eating you up from the inside out.
“What? No! That’s not true! Trust me, Eraser and I talk all the time, and he does NOT think you’re weak… and if everyone’s getting better, then you are too! You’re a part of their class after all, they’re just improving in their own ways, and you are too!” Yamada has seen students break down before, but not quite like this where he was face-to-face with one, so he wasn’t entirely sure how to make you feel better. He wouldn’t give up though, not on his student.
“B-But… but it’s true… I-I… I’m not improving… I-I’ve… I’m regressing… i-in the tests, t-the combat… I-I keep losing… f-for me and m-my partners I’m p-paired with… a-and t-the gym… God the fucking gym… I-I can’t… I’m getting slower… I can’t run fast… e-even though I push myself as hard as I can I just c-can’t… l-look at me, I’m pathetic and weak, I’m weak, s-slow and stupid… I-I can’t ru-run fast Mr. Yamada, I-I c-can’t fight back, I can’t buh-b-be a hero, I-I’m the weakest link in my class, I-I’m ridiculous and sss-sllow…”
Dramatically and breaking down almost completely, you started running in place as if to emphasize your weakness in running as you continued to cry and unload the same intrusive thoughts that tormented you. You almost didn’t notice Yamada awkwardly walking closer towards you even if what he was seeing right now was hard to watch. An upset, anxious student overwhelmed by anxiety and self-doubt who was falling apart before his eyes.
“Stop it… S-Stop saying those things! Come on now… you can’t say that to yourself… you can’t treat yourself like that… come here…”
He shook his head at what you were saying about yourself, opening his arms out as you found yourself gladly letting yourself into your teacher’s hold as he gently put his arms around you in a soft hug while you clung to him and unabashedly cried your heart out. Yamada was an affectionate and hands-on kind of man in general, but as a teacher he didn’t want to cross his boundaries with a student. However, he cared about you very much, and you looked so upset that he couldn’t just let you cry and suffer all by yourself like this. As a teacher AND a hero, he felt like it was his job to comfort a distraught student who was clearly under a lot of stress. You might have been Aizawa’s student, but you were just as much one of his students as you were Aizawa’s!
“It… I-It’s s-ssso huh-hard… I-It’s just so… fucking… hard… I… I… I-I’m s-ss-sso tired of tuh-trying so hard a-and not d-doing anything right M-Mr. Yamada… n-nothing I-I do is… m-making me better… I-I… I-I’m g-getting w-w-worse…”
You’ve really done it this time. Crying like a child in front of your favorite teacher. And yet, hugging him felt so nice. So warm and comforting.
“I know… I know it’s hard… hey, hey it’s okay… I’ve got you… don’t hurt yourself sweetie, take deep breaths for me now, okay? Breathe…” He said in the softest voice you had ever heard him use as he held you while you clutched his costume, and he didn’t mind. Rocking you gently, he kept hushing you as you cried, your shoulders still trembling as he made sure to speak softly and gently to soothe your frazzled nerves as you followed his advice, trying to steady your rapid breathing by taking a few deep inhales and shaky exhales through gritted teeth. Inhaling sharply in an attempt to try and breathe again as you focused on the warmth coming from your teacher’s arms, slowly it was working.
“Good, that’s it… very good, shhhhh…” He praised you once he felt you slowing yourself down, knowing that you were in serious need of emotional support right now, and everything he was doing so far was working for you. You felt very safe at the moment, and not judged at all. Yamada was very patient with you too, he let you slow down so you could catch your breath and breathe properly, and he only spoke when you had eventually stopped shaking as you kept taking deep, steady breaths until you were calm enough and stopped hyperventilating.
“You’re trying very hard. Being a hero ain’t easy… but you’re not alone ya know? Ya see, while you might not think so, you’re trying just as hard, if not, harder than anyone else is! I’ve seen your effort, and your passion… Eraser’s a bit too much sometimes BUT! I’m sure he can tell you’re trying your best…”
“Mr. Aizawa doesn’t care about me, or how hard I try… he never has… all he cares about are the strong ones in our class… He only cares about Shinsou, Midoriya, Bakugou, Tsuyu, Yaoyorozu and Todoroki… all my friends… but not me… cuz I’m the weakest one… I’m sure he’s just ready to expel me anytime he wants…” Your tone was bitter, yet still fresh with sadness and your lack of self-esteem and distorted view was talking for you. Even though at times you felt as if Aizawa didn’t care about you, and it wouldn’t surprise you if he didn’t.
“Ha! He gives off that impression, doesn’t he?” He laughed a little bit, trying to lighten up your mood a little bit as you were calm enough to pay attention to him, blinking slightly as it pushed some stray tears down your face. “Eraser’s good at pretending he doesn’t care about his students… the thing is though he’s a total pusher, he pushes people, just like that teacher in Mean Girls. And he especially pushes his students BECAUSE he cares about them and he knows that they have a LOT of potential! And he definitely cares about you! I know he does! He definitely doesn’t think you’re weak!” That didn’t really do much to make you feel better since you already heard that from Aizawa. But surprisingly Yamada could tell that it wasn’t doing much to convince you.
“He just forgets that he can come off as a total hardass sometimes and that you kids are still kids who are gonna react differently compared to others. But don’t let that make you feel as if you’re not improving, because you are! You’re one of my best students! And I’ve seen the way you use your quirk. You’re really strong! You’re just in a little bit of a slump that’s all, nothing wrong with that though because every hero goes through slumps. I sure have! Every teacher in this school has! Including Eraser and even All-Might!” Yamada used his normal tone this time, enthusiastically saying oddly sweet and gentle words of encouragement to you.
At first you were surprised once you registered all of that, but you understood what he was saying. Basically, that none of the heroes were perfect, and that there wasn’t anything wrong with that. You yourself were far from perfect and prone to making a lot of mistakes and you struggled with things differently than your classmates might have, including anxiety, self-hatred and self-doubt.
Yet, Yamada still didn’t judge you, and he wasn’t judging you for being upset over this, if anything, his words just made you realize that while you weren’t perfect; there was nothing wrong with being imperfect because it happens to everyone, and that regardless of the slump you were definitely in, it didn’t make you weak.
“Look it’s perfectly normal to go through these slumps. We might be heroes, and we might be humans with quirks, but under the costumes and the hero titles we’re still just humans, the quirks are just bonuses, and they don’t change the fact that we’re humans at our core. Even if we chose to be heroes, we can’t forget or ignore our humanity AND our wellbeing, now can we? Our humanity is the basis of our heroism, don’t you think?” He asked you, raising a brow as you looked up at him almost adoringly. Sometimes you swore everyone forgot how smart Yamada was, but you didn’t, you thought he was wonderful.
In fact, you thought he was the most brilliant hero in the school, and you were absolutely marveled by him, especially right now. He told you everything you wanted and needed to hear. So, you nodded your head at his question, making him smile again.
“Don’t ever feel bad for being human. You know your limits and what your own personal issues are, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. And I know you get anxious and doubt yourself sometimes, but those don’t make you weak either. You are NOT weak and it’s OKAY to not feel okay sometimes, it does NOT make you weak. In fact, I believe you’re going to be one of the stronger heroes when you graduate and you’re going to be one of the most fantastic pro-heroes of your age! So, don’t think you’re weak or pathetic (L/N). Don’t you think that for one minute, okay?” He spoke gently again, and sounded slightly firm for a moment there, but it was still gentle and comforting as he grinned at you until a smile finally found its way onto your lips.
It was like a validation you never knew you needed, and just hearing him reassure you like this just made you tear up again as they freely fell down your face.
Sniffling, you whimpered and hugged him again in gratitude. Yamada was rather surprised at the sudden hug, but he quickly and gladly returned it with a big smile on his face, tearing up just a little bit himself; he was beyond happy that you seemed better now and that he was able to help you when you needed it.
“Okay… I won’t… I promise I won’t sir… thank you… but, you know… you actually gave me something else I didn’t know was what I really wanted…”
“Oh? What was that?”
“A hug…” You admitted somewhat shyly, since for a while you’d been desperately wanting a hug and couldn’t find it in you to ask some of your friends that because it felt so awkward. But thankfully, Yamada had given you what you had been wanting and needing. And admittedly, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have a bit of a crush on this man, even though you knew that it wouldn’t be possible because of the age gap, yet a part of you dreamed nonetheless for when you became of age.
As for Yamada, he was surprised by this and yet he still smiled while he hugged you. It was times like these that made him remember that this is why he became a teacher aside from a being a hero.
“I was happy to help (Y/N). And if you ever need to talk to someone about this or if you’re ever having another bad day, intrusive thoughts or anything else, you can always come to me okay?” He asked you softly, and you nodded in his hug with a warm smile, loving every minute of this and prayed that this could last just for a little while longer…
Sadly you didn’t get that wish.
“What’s going on here?” Aizawa’s voice startled you and Yamada as you both yelped and jumped a little bit in your hug, and slowly you pulled away to rather awkwardly turn to face the other pro-hero, whose eyes slightly widened upon seeing you.
“(L/N)?” Your own eyes widened, but you quickly looked away with a nervous look once you felt Aizawa’s eyes on you, staring at the ground as anxiety started creeping up on you again.
“Where have you been? You didn’t show up to class since lunch.” He asked you in a rare tone that almost sounded gentle. And worried? That really surprised you, but you weren’t exactly comfortable enough to answer him yet.
“Eraser! Perfect timing! I found (L/N)! And she’s okay!” Yamada cheerfully said and looked over at you. “You are aren’t you (L/N)?” However, he had to ask you that just to make sure that you were okay. And because it was Yamada speaking to you, you looked away from the ground to meet his eyes and you found yourself able to smile again at him.
“Y-Yeah… it’s been a while… but for once I can say that I am legitimately okay. Thanks to you Mr. Yamada.” You said, a bit bashfully but sincerely, not taking your eyes off your English teacher as he grinned happily, much to Aizawa’s subtle annoyance. Of course, he was relieved that you were okay, but he clearly saw that you weren’t looking at him.
“It was no problem! Anytime okay?” Yamada said to you sweetly, he was very genuine with you. And yet, he couldn’t help but kind of rub this in his friend’s face a little bit. Aizawa wouldn’t admit it, but it was working only a little bit, especially since his own student was being more open with his friend than him.
“(L/N) Are you all right?” Your teacher asked you, seeing your reddened eyes and the remnants of tears on your cheeks; at that moment he realized that you had been crying. You couldn’t tell that he had become rather concerned now since he had never seen you cry before.
However, as mad as you were at your homeroom teacher, you did eventually look at him before you wiped the dried tears from your face. “I’m sorry Mr. Aizawa… I skipped class… on purpose… I know I shouldn’t have … but, I… I wasn’t feeling well, and I wasn’t in a good place enough to come back....”
For once, you did see the care and concern in Aizawa’s now soft-looking eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your teacher. I know you’ve been struggling. I would have helped you if you told me that you needed it concerning your well-being.” He sounded like he was scolding you, and he was a little bit but now it was clear that he was more worried than upset with you.
You ALMOST wanted to cry again, but you didn’t now that you had gotten everything out with Yamada and felt better about yourself a little bit. Although you were feeling kind of guilty now for hiding everything else from Aizawa, it was time to get everything out with him too.
“That’s just it… I got in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you about this, with how bad I’ve been doing… I didn’t want to seem like I desperately needed help because I thought I could deal with this on my own.” You averted your eyes again, biting your bottom lip a little bit.
“And I have to be honest, I was hurt… I was hurt by your words today before lunch, it felt more like I was being judged than being given constructive criticism, like I was being told I wasn’t good enough, and that I wasn’t trying when I was trying my absolute hardest… when I’ve had plenty of people tell me that before… the minute you said that, I… I hated you in that moment… I wanted to punch you in the face… You were the last person I wanted to talk to about what was bothering me…” Almost shamefully, you covered your eyes with your fingers, unable to see the look of very subtle shock on your teacher’s face, as Yamada tried his hardest to not snicker, and it wasn’t working.
“I’m really sorry sir but I was just so hurt and angry that I could not bear the thought of asking you for help because I felt like I was just going to get judged again… but hiding wasn’t the right way to do it either… so I’m sorry… I never should have worried you.” You grabbed your arm nervously, guilt etched over your features even though you were finally being honest with Aizawa, just as you had been with Yamada.
Although you didn’t see it, Aizawa had the grace to look guilty. This wasn’t the first time he’s hurt one of his student’s feelings, and yet it never ceased to make him feel awful about it. Especially if it was enough to make one just avoid class altogether and cry by themselves. Worst of all, you refused to ask for his help because he hurt your feelings that badly.
“I appreciate your honesty (L/N). But you know that it’s never my intention to judge my students right? My purpose is to help you and your classmates improve and learn. I suppose I was too hard on you, and for that I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelings.” He looked and sounded guilty, and for once you actually smiled at your homeroom teacher. Now you could register his words after clearing your head a little bit.
“I know… I’m sorry I took it so personally.” You felt bad though, even if you knew that your feelings were valid.
“Don’t be. I wasn’t really gentle with what I told you. I should have approached you better.” Aizawa owned up to not really being that nice in what he said to you, and you nodded in agreement, glad that he was taking responsibility for having hurt your feelings.
“Yeah your approach kinda sucked.” Despite that you gave a small chuckle and it surprised to see your own teacher give a low chuckle. Albeit, it was mostly because he was glad to see that you looked happier than you had been in months. He might not have been gentle about your struggles, but he knew you were struggling and it concerned him; he just didn’t know how to approach you about it the right way.
“You know that you’re going to still have to make up for all the classes you missed though, right?” But Aizawa still had to be your teacher, and this time, you weren’t sad to hear that from him as you nervously smiled.
“Of course… I saw that coming… I feel a little bit better to do that.” You said softly, even though you might not have been one hundred percent yet, you felt so much better after confiding in Mr. Yamada. And actually pretty inspired after he helped you and talked to you about taking care of your own mental health. “In fact, I’ve made a major decision after today.”
That however, surprised both Aizawa and Yamada, but they let you talk anyway to hear what you had to say.
“I’ve decided that I definitely want to work harder with my studies. The kind of hero I’ll be… will be one who looks out for people. Pick them up when they’re down. After all… it’s super important. Mental health is overlooked. I want to be that kind of hero for people who struggle like me.” You suddenly came to that conclusion after your talk with Yamada. It didn’t make all your issues go away, but his care for you during your breakdown gave you enough strength to get back up again and inspired you to think more about that.
“I’m going to fix all my mistakes, work on my super-move and rely less on my classmates. And I won’t let you down next time Mr. Aizawa. Because whoever you pair me up against, I’m going to kick their ass.” A smirk made its way to your lips, looking more confident and happier than earlier. Which pleased your teacher as he gave you a small smile, obviously happy himself that you finally looked more certain about yourself than you had been in months.
“I know you will.” Aizawa felt confident in you now after seeing the energy return to your eyes as you actually smiled wide at your teacher.
“I’ll see you both tomorrow. Mr. Aizawa. Mr. Yamada. And thank you again… thank you Mr. Yamada. I won’t forget this ever.” You bowed to them both, and Yamada couldn’t help but look very proud of himself when you gave him a second thank you, much to Aizawa’s annoyance.
“Of course (L/N)! I was happy to help!” Yamada’s enthusiastic tone bordered on a brag when he saw how peeved his friend looked, especially when their student smiled happily and politely left the two of them with a soft ‘good-bye’ after being dismissed.
“She’s got more spirit now.” Aizawa saw that in you again as he watched you walk away. “I knew she would find it again.” He always saw your potential; you just needed a little bit of a push. It worked too because now you were more than motivated now. He just wished he could have been the one to help you when that put you in a slump instead. And he wished that he didn’t make you cry…
“And I helped!” Yamada had to say that though, just to rub some salt in the wound. And Aizawa hated that it was irritating him this much. “But you’re right… she looks very determined now.” He snickered a bit.
“What’s so funny?” Aizawa asked him very curtly as he tried to not look as annoyed as he was feeling.
“With that fire in her… I bet whoever she fights tomorrow… she’s probably going to pretend that they’re you and punch them in the face.” Yamada smirked somewhat deviously at him, but then he shrieked when the other pro-hero glared at him with those angry, red eyes of his. Because deep down, he hoped that wasn’t true.
And unfortunately, it was.
Because the next day you were paired up against Kirishima. You were so full of a new-found energy and motivation that you were ready for this, and the first thing you did was punch him in the face before fighting, and you quickly won the match once you used your water quirk to its max level now that you had the fire back in you.
“Anybody else want some?!”
You shouted after successfully pinning Kirishima down and you were announced victorious. Quite a few of your classmates were startled, and some (especially Mineta) were terrified, even Bakugou looked mildly shocked by the spark you had shown them all. But you almost didn’t notice their reactions, but you were feeling amazing now; like you could do anything.
Although you DID quickly apologize to poor Kirishima afterwards, a lot in fact and you immediately felt guilty for beating him. But the sweet redhead just smiled and shrugged it off and happily congratulated you on your win. Even he could tell that you got a fire back in your stomach and he was happy for you.
“That felt good.” You smiled widely as you approached your closest friends Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida and Todoroki.
“Wow! (Y/N) I knew your quirk was strong but you… you really showed off even more power today…” Midoriya looked positively awed, his green eyes wide and practically sparkling in marvel.
“A most excellent performance (Y/N)! I think it was your best one yet! I’m proud of you!” Iida somewhat dramatically praised you, but he was clearly happy when he saw that you had a spark back in you.
“Oui. The sparkle in your eyes is back~.” You were hella surprised when Aoyama had remarked on your energy, but you still appreciated it. Even if you had no idea that he was aware of your struggles as you smiled at the blonde boy.
“Yeah! Are you kidding? You were more than good! You really showed everyone that you’re not to be messed with!” Uraraka then cheerfully praised you with a big grin, almost like she was amazed by you as you couldn’t help but hug the girl. “Aww! Guys thank you so much!!”
“No. Not good. Brilliant.” Todoroki gave you one of his rare smiles that he had reserved for you, which made you giggle and blush at all the compliments and praise your friends were giving you as you thanked each and every one of them personally. And your smile grew when you fondly thought about Mr. Yamada. You owed this to him after the way he helped you. And you would never forget it.
However, you couldn’t help but notice that after your battle with Kirishima that Mr. Aizawa was awfully silent and a little sulky afterward…
#bnha#bnha x reader#mha#mha x reader#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#present mic#hizashi#bnha hizashi#bnha yamada#bnha present mic#mha hizashi#mha present mic#mha yamada#present mic x reader#hizashi x reader#yamada hizashi#hizashi yamada x reader#mental health#mental health awareness#present mic/reader#present mic x you#platonic present mic x reader#platonic hizashi x reader#boku no hero academia imagine#my hero academia imagine#fluff
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Drakgo Fic - Gap
Drakken feels weird about how much older he is than Shego when meeting her friends.
Drew Theodore P. Lipsky AKA the infamous Dr. Drakken had overcome many obstacles in his life. He fought Kim Possible more times than he could count (and he could count pretty high). He managed to evade punishment for his many dastardly deeds in the past. Even when he was captured, prison wasn’t that bad; a Hannibal Lecter-esque high tech cell that sounded alarms every time his back popped is quite cozy once you get used to the electronic hum. Although, meeting his wife’s best friends was one obstacle he wasn’t sure he could conquer successfully.
Drakken had already met Shego’s immediate family with mixed results within the first few months of them dating. Not that Shego cared if he met her family but she couldn’t deny how awkward it would be if the first time they met her husband was at the wedding (even if they did elope). Her brother Heath turned up the machismo and pulled the ‘if you hurt my baby sister blah blah blah…” Michael seemed annoyed that he was dragged into this and had better things to do. The twins Wesley and William didn’t care, just a quick hi and they ran off to play. Her mother, Kate, thankfully, seemed to be the only one with a good head on her shoulders and only a little intimidating. Her father, well, Shego hasn’t spoken to him in a long time. He was invalid in her mind. Drakken meeting her friends was an actual priority for Shego. It took some orchestrating since they went to different colleges and lived in different states but finally made it work for a long weekend together.
They were throwing a small housewarming party. For many years, home was a lab that happened to have living quarters for Drakken and Shego and barracks for the henchman. Now, the lab was across town. Global Justice didn’t like them on too long of a leash. They managed to get out many of their personal belongings from all the past lairs (after GJ checked them of course) before destroying the lairs. That didn’t stop Drakken from starting a new lab down in the basement…
He didn’t know what to expect at first. The Mothman? A Chupacabra? A pack of wild wolves? Drakken couldn’t imagine Shego having normal friends, especially when her life changed drastically at such a young age. So, he did some sleuthing. Okay, okay, he searched Shego’s friend's list on Facebook. If he had an actual lab at home, he could unleash his real computer skillz.
Savannah Coffman, 27, BFA in visual arts, working towards her Masters, both from CalArts; unemployed.
Jill Nesbitt, 26, BBA, owns her own business in New Orleans. One citation for yelling ‘come at me, bro!’ at a living statue street performer.
Okay, nothing too alarming.
As their arrival time drew near, Commodore Puddles was put outside in the fenced backyard with water and plenty of toys to keep him busy. He really did not like company. When the doorbell rang, he started barking furiously and running back and forth to each side gate and back to the backdoor. How dare those filthy humans not let him have his prey!
“Don’t be weird,” Shego whispered harshly, before opening the door.
“Stephanie!” Jill and Savannah screeched, excitedly.
They enveloped Shego in a tight hug. Drakken was surprised that Shego didn’t seem to mind, even reciprocated. She didn’t let just anybody touch her. There were times when she wasn’t crazy that he was hugging her.
Drakken stood there in awkwardly as they greeted each other, complimenting each other’s looks and remarking on how long it had been since they last seen each other.
“Guys,” Shego said, nodding her head towards Drakken.
“Wow, you aren’t what I was expecting,” Jill said.
“Thanks?” Drakken replied, not sure how to take it.
Savannah studied him, “Yeah, I guess I expected the tall and dark type.”
“Yeah,” Jill added, “You guys were evil and whatnot at one point. You kinda look like my dad, but on a bad day.”
“I mean, he has a scar…”
“He got it from shaving,” Shego said, barely holding back laughter.
Jill got very close to Drakken’s face, who tried to lean away “What’s with the blue veins?” She asked Shego.
“Okay!” Shego interrupted, “This is Drew.” She said as she pulled Jill away from him.
They exchanged awkward hellos. Drakken already wanted to find a cave and hide.
Shego quickly ushered them into the living room while handing Drakken the bottle of wine Jill had brought that was forgotten in the welcoming frenzy. He had always wanted to see New Orleans, he thought as he set out to make the drinks. Shego was more of a Jack and Diet Coke kinda gal.
“Shit Steph, you have an actual place. I practically live in a closet above my shop.” Jill said.
“Same. Student Housing.” Savannah added.
“Don’t follow my example,” Shego warned, throwing herself on the couch with her legs across it.
As Drakken prepared their drinks, the women talked hurriedly and loudly in excitement and howled with laughter. It sounded like a coven of crazed witches planning their next ritual. He was just really glad that Shego was having fun.
He brought in the drinks and sat down next to Shego, moving her legs. She scowled at him as he did so but ignored her.
“Steph, look what I found,” Jill said, pulling out a worn, furry blue photo album.
Shego’s nickname hit his ears. She was very selective with who she let address her by her real name or any part of it.
She gasped in recognition as Jill and Savannah crowded around them.
Drakken peered over Shego’s shoulder. There were pictures of the young girls at sleepovers with butterfly clips in their hair, first days of school on sunny mornings, them pulling faces in a school hallway in front of lockers (Shego had braces?!), a group picture of them at prom and at graduation. A picture taken of the girls at a dance in line for the Cha-Cha Slide with Shego dressed tight jeans, focusing on her footwork. Shego was blonde at one point!? Shego with a purple streak in her thick, raven hair, Shego and her friends scowling at the camera with thick black eyeliner circling their eyes. Shego with alternative, teased hair, sticking her tongue out.
“No!” Shego howled, covering her face in embarrassment, “Burn that thing! It’s too cringey!”
Damn. Even some of his teenage photos were in black and white. Was their age gap that severe? Some of the slang Shego used sounded like a foreign language to him. What if they had kids? Drakken didn’t want to senile before his child’s graduation.
Their age difference of ten or so years never truly crossed his mind until then. As much as they were opposites in personality, they agreed on many things. Just different enough to keep things interesting, similar enough to keep a relative peace. In fact, the only time age was an issue was with the radio setting, when Drakken wanted to listen to the 70’s or 80’s station and Shego would roll her eyes and call the music corny. That, or have no idea who was playing.
Drakken had long ago accepted the fact that Shego was way out of his league, that he was the picture of a flattered fool. Even though he was a scientist, and scientists are taught to question everything, he chose not to. He knew Shego loved him and that she was trustworthy. Still, things got to him.
“Hey, Doc, has Steph told you about the time she tripped during eight grade graduation and knocked down our entire line?”
“No, no, no,” Jill said waving her hand excitedly and putting her glass down on the coffee table. “Remember the time she projectile vomited all over Amberlynn in tenth grade and everyone called her puky-lynn until we graduated?”
“Well, she was being a bitch and I had the stomach flu. It was just good timing,” Shego replied casually, playing with her hair.
“You should have seen it! She looked like the kid from the Exorcist!”
“And she looked so proud of herself afterward!”
“I was proud of myself afterward!
They lost themselves in stories of teachers; the good, the bad and the ugly, field trips and other school memories. Feeling self-conscious, Drakken excused himself with little notice from the women.
Shego, however, noticed and could tell something was wrong. She gave him some time before slipping away while Jill and Savannah argued about who really stole Savannah’s rainbow gel pen in fourth grade. Spoiler alert, it was Shego.
She found her husband in the bedroom, “What? Do we have cooties or something?” She teased as she sat down next to him.
Drakken was lost in thought, not looking at his wife. “Am I really that old?” He finally asked, not exclusively to Shego.
Shego scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Are we really doing this?”
“Yes! I feel like I’m robbing the cradle!”
“You need to chill. Don’t put much stock into what Jill says. I’m not entirely sure she’s human.”
That got a chuckle from the scientist.
“Has anyone who we actually like cared about our age gap?” Shego urged.
“Well, Mother was concerned- “
Shego cut him of dismissively, “She doesn’t count. Look, we’ve been through a lot of stuff together. How many times have we been separated because one of us was in jail and yet we got right back to where we were like it never happened? Drew. I hate to admit these kinda things, but you are more mature and wiser than me. How often do I rush into something stupid and you pull me back, telling me to think?”
The time she wanted to spend a good chunk of her bank account on a new purse when what she really needed was a new pair of boots for her suit came to mind.
And the time she really wanted to go BASE jumping while she was recovering from a concussion brought on by Ron Stoppable.
And anytime she speeds or runs a red light.
Despite all the stress he felt worrying for her general safety, she did keep things interesting.
“Not just that, remember the time we decided we wanted to go see the Northern Lights on the spur of the moment and we just kept traveling for nearly a month? Or that mosh pit at the Ghost concert last Halloween? Naked Twister? What about Rex the crocodile? She wouldn’t have survived if we didn’t take care of her for that month after she was injured in that hurricane. Tell me, would some broad your age go for all those things? I’m even including the crazy and exciting things we did and still get to do as part of our jobs!” She said.
Shego sat down on Drakken’s lap, wrapped her arms around him and looked into his eyes, “You aren’t the type of guy I’d date, let alone marry, but those guys were actual idiots. I don’t know how they’re still alive, whether from forgetting to breathe or staring at the sun for too long. I found out that I want substance in a guy and to have an actual conversation with my significant other. I found out that that’s what I want.”
Drakken smiled contently, “Thank you, Stephanie. I love you.”
“I love you, Drew.”
They sealed their proclamations with a kiss.
“You’re still a doofus though,” Shego said once they pulled away.
Drakken groaned. She could only be so nice.
“Are we good?” She asked.
Drakken nodded.
“Great, because Amberlynn lives around here and we’re gonna go egg her house,” Shego said, grinning deviously.
“I’ll drive and get my bat to knock over her mailbox!” Drakken replied giddily.
“See? We’re still a perfect team!”
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[Translation] Tsukiuta Monthly Publication - Special Issue : Haduki You’s Profile + Q&A

I promised my friend Shiro that I’d translate this if she did her work so here’s me being santa again on the second Christmas day (don’t expect something from me on the third, I’m not a super human. But expect the last rabbits kingdom chapter before the year ends).
This time I decided to include the profile part too (I didn’t include that in Hajime’s and Shun’s translations in the past because those are on the wikia already). Also this is from 2014 when You’s age was 17 (not a typo).
Special thanks to @ryota-kunstranslations for assistance and proofreading! Please don’t repost/reuse my translations.
The one faithful to all women and ‘enemy of males’ is a free, loose man. Haduki You CV. Tetsuya Kakihara Music: Utata P
Age: 17 years old
Image colour: red
Height: 176 cm
Affiliation: Procellarum
Birthday: 13th of August
Bloody type: O
Combi: Nagatsuki Yoru (September)
■ Initial settings ■
■ Faithful to women and an ‘enemy of men’
■ His home is an imposing and quite rich temple. He’s the unsteady and egoistic third son of a monk, but it seems he will take over the position of head of the house in the future?
■ His intense preferences (applied to both people and food) are all based on these mysterious rules created by him.
■ He’s a troublesome man who likes to make fun of those around him, and he has no sense of wavering in his words and deeds.
■ He looks laid-back, but in fact he possessed by a strong sense of duty and has a one-track mind. ….... However, he’d never show that even if his life would be on line (personal story). He gets shy about strange things, though, that mostly applies to his childhood friend Yoru, too (September male representative).
■ He gets along well with Koi (February male representative). Both of them talk foolishly and get excited often.
■ Additional settings + α ■
■ He adores curry. He has versatile opinions on curry and has cooked it many times.
■ His hobbies include taking walks and reading fashion magazines.
■ He professed his love for older women, and most of the time his girlfriends were also older.
■ On the other hand, he likes teasing Iku and Rui who are younger than him to see how they would react. He and Koi share the same energy so they keep things lively but, there’s a rumor going around that he actually likes taking care of people. He and his childhood friend, Yoru, didn’t really speak to each other during middle school. Please confirm the events of what happened in the drama CDs.
■ He likes high places, where there are no people, and the feeling of freedom.
■ He’s bad at group activities since they’re bound to bring many rules and restrictions, which he hates.
■ Since he’s a moody person, he tends to not do stuffs even if he can actually do them.
■ Yoru’s grandfather who takes care of the temple back at their hometown is his natural enemy. He starts to complain as soon as he sees his face, so in order to avoid that, he runs away.
■ He’s right handed, he’s eyesight is 1.2 for his right eye and 1.0 for his left eye. It seems like he has a fixation on refusing to wear glasses because he believes he has a face that doesn’t suit them and that his eyesight will definitely not get worse.
■ Strong points (things he’s good at & preferences): women / dancing / curry / things related to design / freedom / high places / his seniors / the feeling of freedom / strolls / being fashionable
■ Weak points (things he’s not good at & dislikes): restrictions / rules / group activities / grandfather Nagatsuki / men in general / being fixated on sports / green pepper
★Q&A★
Each character had to answer questions sent to Tsukiradio by all the listeners!
Q. What’s your favourite music genre?
A. I’ve been told it’s unexpected, but I keep listening to western music from around 1960, classical music and things like that as if I’m in a daze. When I have to follow the meaning of some Japanese lyrics, I can’t listen to them like that (laugh). Recently I got into songs I can dance on like electroclash, trance, and those with high energy.
Q. What are your hobbies?
Taking walks and reading fashion magazines. I guess dancing turned into one too but only recently. I started to take lessons throughout my entertainment work, but I want to do it properly. Ah, making curry is also one of my hobbies.
Q. How long have you known Mattsun, who has made his appearance in the drama CD? Have you gone out with him to pick up girls? What about Yoru?
An unexpected Mattsun topic (laughs). The last time all 3 of us hung out together was when we were in the fourth grade in elementary school, it’s been some time since then. He’s the type of guy who talks to anyone, and he has a pretty plain face. I remember maybe going out with him to hit on girls 2 or 3 times before. They only come to me so he complains a lot. I don’t think Yoru has gone with him to do that though. He’s not really that kind of guy (bitter smile).
Q. Among foreign languages, what’s your favourite? German?
Ahaha, I like German. Isn’t it interesting to hear how the rhythm plays out at the end of each German word? I also want to be able to speak English. Doesn’t it look as if I’m going to make my debut in all of America?
Q. Does your school uniform include only a blazer? Or is it an integral one?
In middle school it was an integral uniform, in high school only a blazer. When we walked around in public, it seems like the uniform was kinda popular as it had a good design. Guys wear neckties and girls ribbons. Each grade had a different colour between green, blue or red, but my grade had red.
Q. When did you have your first love? Please tell us about memories from that time!
I was very clingy to my kindergarten teacher. She was beautiful and gentle. I brought her a bouquet of dandelions and told her “Become my bride in the future”~. And yet, at the same time I graduated kindergarten she resigned because she was getting married. I guess it’s true that first loves don’t come true….
Q. For how many years have you been separated from your siblings? Are you getting along with them?
Quite a long time. My eldest brother, Sou, is 26 and he’s really serious and stubborn. The middle one, Tooru, he’s 22 and lives life the way he wants to. It feels as if he’s like me, always moving about. Our relationship is like any other that three brothers could have. Even if we don’t need anything from each other, we still text to a degree. But despite not seeing each other for a long time, it’s easy to tell each other ‘Heya’, ‘Yoo’ or talk like usual.
Q. Have you ever confessed to someone?
I’m kinda hesitant to admit but, I haven’t really. I’ll wait for the time when someone would accept my confession. Sly, right? I wonder if I’ll ever get to confess my love like a mad man…….
Q. Out of all the things Yoru-kun has cooked, what’s your number one favourite?
All of them are good. …...All of them are good. ← Not decided on one.
Q. What your favourite girl hairstyle?
Semi-long. Even better if it’s a perm. But, it’s kinda exciting to see how much they can arrange their hairstyles.
#tsukiuta#tsukino production#english translation#haduki you#procellarum#Tsukiuta Monthly Publication#special issue#profile translation#Q&A
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April 26th: Talk about special interests. Do you have special interests? If not do you wish you did? What do your special interests mean to you? What are your current special interests? What are your past special interests? idk like i know i sure have & have had Interests, some more of interest than others, and it's also like, oh yeah i guess the ways i held that interest / explored it pretty intently / extensively / at length didn't always seem to be the way other people always felt about things even if we shared the interest, but yknow, at the same time it doesn't necessarily seem as extensive or major as some of the aspects of defining a Special Interest(tm) can be, i haven't been too pressed about it, but of course it's like, i have my Things lol, i.e. yeah this thing is kind of My Thing....and then i can look back on Things like. well idk when i was really little and you're just gonna like Cool Stuff, i did have the thing of like, i like dinosaurs and did sorta casually collect dinosaur stuff, easy enough b/c they make that stuff for kids, memorized a bunch of dinosaur Names so that just being asked to recite a bunch was something i was known to be able to do, a big fan of a couple semi educational computer games we had, shoutout to 3d dinosaur adventure and this magic school bus dinosaur (and ocean) game, had pajamas ft dinosaurs, rip to when i had a sick metal lunchbox with dinosaurs on it and it just broke on like week 1 of first grade or whatever and i just had to go back to default lunchboxes. well and then but anyways but from then on it was like, well, i guess it's media time......read a shit ton all the time, was into some tv series / movies, played some pc / video games, there was stuff i'd be glad to revisit over and over, and yknow, as this went on it'd be like, well now when there's A Relatable Enough Character in something i also like just in general, that's a powerful combo, though sometimes it's like, yeah i like this thing enough even in the absence of any particular [and i extra go hard about this character] element, that's not Not at play as it's like "well and i guess i will think about this quant every day for years now lmfao," and i can sure always talk about stuff At Length too, which sure is not something other people are generally interested in, but if/when they are, it's like okay great, this is a great connection point then, b/c otherwise it's like, i generally don't know what to say about myself, didn't get much practice, did pick up a sense of like, well stuff is Wrong about myself and my life so i shouldn't share it and also i'm not picking up friends so it was generally accurate that no one was exactly interested lmao. small talk is really more of a barrier / test you can just potentially fail, yet anything more personal is Oversharing, but hey i would earnestly love to talk at length about This Thing, so great when other people are into that at all lol and then if we vibe it's like, obviously that's the sort of functional "small talk" route here lol to being able to be more familiar w/each other and talk more generally, even if yknow, wuh oh, i'm kind of cagey outside those Interests i will talk about in ways that's probably "too much" by most ppl's standards, worst of both worlds when it comes to forming relationships but oh well, it is what it is and i sure don't consider it a bad thing i have plenty to say about things i Want to talk about, and it sure doesn't impede on anyone else if i'm Not Talking about other shit.
also then it's like, "idk what it is when you just determinedly Pursue something that's maybe still not the hugest deal, but i don't really feel very pressed re: figuring it out" like, does it count like how i mentioned today i'd read bird guides for fun as a kid, and watch this bird documentary and be like "hey. check out this scene in this bird documentary with this bird mimicry" to friends i now realize were probably mostly bemused by this, and really liked birds just generally (still true), and thus have like, maybe more Bird Knowledge than the average random person but also am hardly some self taught ornithological expert. or how i'm big into linguistics and etymology and, in theory, language learning, always really latching on to the little i was taught in school, also perusing some Language Guides available, and like, not really self teaching a bit re: learning some of a couple languages, just learning via teaching resources outside of [directly through any academic institution], never took any language classes, sure have no fluency in fuckall.........how about that i just decided as a kid like "hm i want to be able to draw" b/c i felt that way (and yknow, still do in a way lol) about pretty much anything, but i just also liked doodling and took some art classes and it was always this casual thing and now i use this to make fanart for the Media Interests lol, and although this is all digital drawing and drawing was always my primary thing it's like, well okay also yeah there was like, some painting / pastels / sculpting other Visual Arts stuff, and then, like, i sure enjoyed dance classes and the Performing Arts aspect of that, theatre gay adjacent b/w that and choir lol, have regular dreams about being part of impromptu dance performances, including just last night, rip to the special thwarting of "oh no i'm going around trying to get food before the show, getting stuck in traffic or lost in stores, and i've missed my whole first appearance" lol. anxiety dreams never end........and idk, i've had a love for math stuff, physics stuff, space stuff, even felt that [!] for the little i was able to get into circuitry and coding, but yknow. learning that shit is kind of involved and i only had so much experience re: taking classes, also, unfortunately, i always hated school lmao, so it's just kind of there where i'm like oh i get Into this shit in the ways that other people who are definitely Into it feel about it lmao. but yeah, idk, i do have like. well here's this sort of stuff i think about Every Day, this sort of mental home base sometimes, that i don't get tired of and reexplore / reexperience pretty intensively, but at the same time like, sometimes i can just sort of have something be that Interest for a lot more of a temporary duration, and things that were that main shit is like, well Probably when i like it that much once i like it down the line even if i haven't been that focused on it in the meantime, more just latent, but then it's like, well, but probably could and would still talk So Much about it still even if it's not like, oh yeah i'm Into This(tm) right Now lol..........idk! but i sure get really into shit and like, if anyone else is interested in me talking at length / drawing about it, that's sure probably the most successful grounds for Connection lmao cuz yknow. even people who maybe share that interest aren't guaranteed to see that and go "yeah this is someone i'm interested in actually talking to though" like yeah here's your preview of my personality i guess lol
April 27th: What is your favourite form of media? For example, do you enjoy books? What format do you prefer for books (physical, e-book, audiobook)? Did you love reading as a kid but find it challenging as you got older? How about movies, tv, or video games? Do you have a favourite series? yeah i read all the time as a kid, on the bus, if i finished shit early at school, on the bus again, also at home plenty, not so much when i was in college when it's like oh i can just do kinda whatever now (also as people point out it's like. well gotta do all this reading for classes now so) and then it was like, i'll get into other Media i can freely experience at any time, and also hang out with people Some, which i can also just do whenever now, as opposed to at any point before this......still like reading but it can sure kind of be a Whole Thing, like i either can't focus and it's like well time to read like, a paragraph or page a day, or else i'm focusing Too Much really like, if i'm at all trying to see how something ends i might burn through it in a few days (still a fairly slow reader) which is like, do i want to spend multiple days on this One Thing, even if it takes me like, multiple times the runtime to watch a movie or something, that's still probably getting done in 1 day. plus that yeah, mostly reading new shit via laptop, which is kind of a pain as opposed to physical books or like, e readers in theory, i've never actually used one. the only time i used an audiobook was a few times as a kid to read along with longer books to sort of help with that momentum, such a hot minute ago that this was via Tape Cassette.....i do listen to podcasts though, great for like, doing Something Else at the same time, which i don't know that i could split up that focus and guaranteed successfully absorb a book, Maybe So but select podcasts are my Extensive Audio of choice. never really watched that much tv, there were some stuff me and my siblings might watch as it aired, but not really Narrative Series lol, never seen shit, haven't even really watched That many movies either, still don't Really even though it's like yeah w/e in Theory i enjoy these mediums it's like oh my godddd it's a whole thing to focus on one and then plus what if i don't like it but i've had to put in all that time to know i didn't like it lmao.......i can enjoy keeping up with a tv series like, oh boy once a week a half hour to hour installment, that's a great format truly, but i'm rarely getting that experience lmao like. with billions you could stand 2 weeks between episodes b/c whew but it's v Rare like oh thank god, a series with that weekly release........but otherwise it's like ugh do i wanna have alllll this material to watch, do i wanna go through the whole process of figuring out what movie i feel like giving a try........and that i like Revisiting shit i already like pretty endlessly so it's like, i might just do that. so it's like, audio wise i'll put on podcasts, if i feel like watching something i Might be bothered to try out a movie or smthing b/c yknow, ultimately more doable to consume something that's just a few hours, all that when i'm Thinking About a tv series every day for years lmfao, shoutout to billions which sure gets to be my fave b/c tf else am i keeping up with, literally nothing else, even if i haven't gotten around to actually watching all of it yet / haven't simply sat straight through even the episodes i have watched, i Could do it but it's like god formidable when it's sure more than a movie's worth of content and plenty of "i don't care about this and/or hate this" to make me put my head through the wall lmfao thank you billions........also sometimes i remember like "oh yeah, i guess in theory i enjoy video games as well" but i didn't have That much experience w/them and sure don't now, so that's like well irrelevant ig. media
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