#i keep using taylor songs for this but i won't apologize

[beanghostprincess]

[fanficsformyfaves]

I Tolerate It, So Don't Blame Me

Loki Laufeyson x Fem Ex!Reader

WARNING: SMUT 18+, ANGST, Hickeys, Marking Kink (R Receiving), Oral Sex (R Receiving), P in V Sex, Exhibitionism, Rough Sex, Body Worship (R Receiving), No Protection (This is fictional, you are not, WRAP IT UP) Mentions of Break Ups, Turbulent Relationship, Confrontations, Insecurities

PREFACE: You were not only the God of Mischief's ex and the mother of his child, you were also the love of his life. So, it should've come as no surprise to you when his new girlfriend showed up to your apartment building, angry after finding out he was still in love with you

A/N: Flashbacks In Italics!

Loki was recruited into the Avengers and Sylvie is his new girlfriend in this A/U!

Sylvie deserves better :,(

And yes, this is combining 2 Taylor Swift songs cause it goes so well…all too well

I had just put my son to bed, when his tired little voice asks me something.

"Mama, is daddy coming this weekend?"

I look up from tucking him in with surprise.

"Um, I'm not sure"

I was...or I thought I was. Loki and I were together for over a decade and had our son four years ago.

Our relationship wasn't perfect, but we made it work. In spite of the long nights that consisted of screaming matches and the other going to bed angry, we would eventually talk it out and get right back to normal. Was it easy? No, but we knew that we made each other better people. Nothing in life that's worth keeping was gonna be easy.

Our main issue was him not making enough time for me and our child. I understood splitting his time between working with the Avengers and going back and forth from Asgard would take up a lot of his days, but we always got through the rough patches together.

You miss a couple dinners and forget some errands, sure, I could forgive that...but the final straw was when he'd forgotten our son's birthday.

Long after the party was over and everyone had gone home, I still sat in the living room in tears, after having had to put my own crying child to bed.

"He forgot. He really forgot", I thought to myself.

Just then, I hear the front door open and in walks Loki, making his way towards me on the couch.

"Hi, darling", he kisses my cheek.

That's when he noticed the popped balloons and confetti scattered all across the floor.

"What did I miss?"

"What did you miss?", I repeated,

Standing up.

"Loki, do you know what day it is today?"

"Friday"

I close my eyes, sighing before wiping my eyes.

"October twenty-third"

He takes a moment to think, when the realization hits him.

"Shit", he whispers to himself,

"Yeah...shit"

"(Y/N)-"

"He was so excited to blow out the candles with his dad", my voice shakes.

"I know-"

"Do you?"

Not having anything else to say for himself, he simply muttered.

"I'm sorry"

"It's not me you should be apologizing to", I say,

About to walk off, when he takes my arm.

"I'll make it up to him-"

"You always say that, but you never stick to your word. Look, I'm tired of being second place to your job, we both are. Do you even remember the last time we had dinner together? Or even tucking him in for bed?"

I could see the tears beginning to pool in his eyes. I shake my head, before pulling my arm away from him.

"Time got away from me, the team-"

"I don't care about the team! I care about us! Our family!", I yell,

Catching him off guard.

"I've stood behind you on everything and this was the one thing that I needed you to show up for. I've put up with your shit for too fucking long and I can't do it anymore. All we do nowadays is fight and I can't tolerate being taken for granted over and over again. I won't"

"What are you saying?", he whispered,

"I'm saying I'm done", I shrugged.

His gaze softened and his shoulders dropped.

"(Y/N)-"

"You need to go", I sob,

"Please, don't do this. We can talk about it, we can work things out, I promise, I will do better-", he tries pulling me into an embrace,

Only to be pushed away.

"We tried and nothing's worked, even if we go to bed now, I'll still feel the same way in the morning-"

"I don't want to leave-", he says,

Wrapping his arms around me, as I kept trying to push him off.

"Loki, go"

"I can't"

"Please, go, I can't do this again"

"I can't!", he cried,

"GO-"

"I CAN'T!", he shouts,

Slowly falling to his knees, as he held onto my legs and hid his face in my stomach.

"I can't", he wept.

My hand goes over my mouth to muffle the sounds of my sobs. I eventually pull away from him and walked back towards our once shared bedroom. It was the hardest walk of my life. Knowing I was walking away from him.

"When I wake up", I say over my shoulder,

"Don't be here"

It's been almost a year since then and it still hurts to think about. It didn't help that our anniversary was coming up either.

I often fall back into wondering if I'd done the right thing. Did I? Would I ever know?

"But, I promise I'll ask"

"Does daddy not love me anymore?"

It shattered my heart to hear him say that.

"No! Baby", I say,

Softly cupping his cheek.

"Your father loves you so so much. It's just his job that keeps him busy"

He sticks his pinky out, making me chuckle. I intertwine mine around his, after wiping away a stray tear.

"Never think for one second that we don't love you"

Just as I placed a kiss atop my son's head, I hear someone yelling outside my apartment building.

"(Y/N)!"

I recognized that voice. It was Sylvie. What was she doing here in the middle of the night?

"Mama?"

"Shhh, go to bed, baby, I'll be right back", I shushed,

Leaving the apartment and locking the door behind me. The elevator takes me all the way down to the lobby and I made my way outside.

"Sylvie-"

"What did you tell him?!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Don't play stupid with me, what did you tell Loki?"

"Nothing! I haven't spoken to him for weeks!"

"Horse shit"

"I haven't!"

She sighs, holding her forehead.

"Why? What happened?"

She sniffles and using her sleeve to wipe away her tears.

"Sylvie, I know we aren't friends, but you can tell me"

She scoffs, looking back at me.

"You can", I reassured.

She shakes her head, taking a seat on the curb. I let out a deep exhale, before joining her.

It was tense. I could tell she was holding something back and it only added to the anxiety that was making my stomach turn. After a few deep breaths, she finally breaks the uncomfortable silence.

"He said your name in his sleep"

I'd never felt my heart drop so fast. My eyes widen, as I turn back to her.

"What?"

"Last night. I heard him", she nodded,

"Sylvie", I exhaled,

Shutting my eyes, whilst shaking my head.

"So either that means he's been sneaking behind my back with you or-"

"He hasn't, I swear"

"...Then what I'd been suspecting is true", she muttered her breath.

My eyebrows meet in confusion, wondering what she meant by that. She finally turns to meet my gaze and in the street lamp's glow, I could make out her defeated tired eyes looking back at me.

I knew that look. I had that look not too long ago, which meant what she had to say was nothing short of painful.

"He still loves you", she wept,

Causing me to shake my head.

"No-"

"Then why?", she shrugs.

How was I possibly meant to respond to that?

"You know...whenever he tells me that he loves me, I would be so overjoyed...but for some reason, in the back of mind, I never truly believed him", she confessed,

"And then I thought to myself 'Well, why would I? She was his first love and the mother of his child. How could I ever compete with that? She's beautiful and smart and strong'. Deep down, I always knew that what we had wasn't real, as I am still fighting the ghost of you that will forever live in his memories"

I was speechless. To hear her say all of this was gut-wrenching. She didn't deserve this and I knew that.

"I am so sorry"

"You have nothing to apologize for", she says,

Getting back on her feet, as I did the same.

"Sylvie, I assure you that whatever we had was over the moment we broke up"

"Maybe...but not for him", she smiled sadly,

Giving me a tight embrace, before walking away.

I couldn't just go to bed after that. I had to talk to Loki myself. Whatever he did to us was one thing, but Sylvie didn't deserve this. I went back up stairs to get my son, not bothering to get dressed and dropped him off at my parent's house on the way to the Avengers Tower.

I submitted my personalized key pass, which allowed me inside and took the elevator all the way up to Loki's quarters. I pushed past the double doors and find him standing at the floor to ceiling windows.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?", I spit,

Walking up to him.

"I'm assuming you heard", he says,

Without looking away from the city.

"Sylvie didn't deserve that. She loved you!"

I was met with nothing but silence. All I could do was sigh in frustration.

"Why?! Why did you have to ruin another good thing for yourself?! She was perfect-"

"But she wasn't you!", he snapped,

Turning to face me.

"You of all people should know that no matter what happens, I would always choose you"

I could feel the tears gather in my eyes.

"I tried to let go, but I couldn't", his voice goes quiet,

"Despite my best efforts and even while being with someone else, all I found myself doing was wishing it was you"

I shake my head, as a lone tear made its why down my cheek.

"You should've thought about that before you took me for granted"

He cups my face, resting his forehead against mine.

"That was my greatest mistake...and I will never forgive myself for it"

"Loki-"

I couldn't stop myself from growing weak at his touch.

"I love you. This has always been true"

"I never knew what I had until I'd lost it", he added,

"You hurt me...and you hurt our son", I wept,

"And for that, I am so sorry. I will never stop regretting the things I'd done to you both and if given the chance, I'd change before it was too late, but I am begging you now. I will never forsake your hearts again, please", he pleaded.

There were so many emotions coming at me from all directions. Anger, sadness, confusion...but also a sense of solace. Solace in knowing that he had finally recognized his mistakes.

"If you'll have me...I will never hurt you or our son ever again"

"How can I be sure you mean it this time?", I questioned.

In that moment, the God of Mischief pulled away and kneeled before me, placing a hand on his heart. I couldn't help but feel a strong sense of Deja Vu.

"I meant every word", he reassured,

Taking my hand into his.

"I've lost you once. I will not make that same mistake again"

I searched deeply into his eyes and all I could find was sincerity. For the first time in a long time, I was finally sure.

"Loki"

I pulled him back onto his feet and cupped his cold face.

"I love you too...I don't think I ever stopped"

He chuckles slightly in relief.

"That's all I've ever wanted to hear", he says,

Before pulling me in by the waist and pressing his lips against mine. The kiss started off mellow and soft, but it quickly grew heated. He picks me up by my thighs and effortlessly wrapped them around his waist. He ended up

My fingers sneak into his black locks, grasping at the roots and causing a delicious groan to escape him.

Using his godly strength, he lifts me up higher into the air, now throwing my legs over his shoulders. With a flash of his magic, I was now completely naked up against the glass.

"People will see", I say out breath,

"Let them", he grinned,

"Let them envy the way I ravish your beautiful body, knowing they will never get the chance"

I could feel myself grow wetter at his comment.

"By the looks of it, you don't seem to mind either", he teases,

Before kissing the inside of my thighs, slowly making his way towards where I needed him most. He wrapped his soft lips around my bundle of nerves, making me gasp at the sensation. I was being tasted like I'd be the last thing he'd ever have. A man on death row, savoring his final meal.

"It has been to long", he mumbled against me.

"It has", I whined,

As his skilled tongue drew circles over my clit again and again, till the knot in my stomach began to tense. I missed how easily he made me melt.

My fingers snuck into his hair once more, holding on for dear life. His own rubbing up and down my slit, before slipping themselves inside and pressing against my sweet spot. I could feel him grin at the wanton cries and moans that spilled out of me.

It was more the obvious that I was already about hit my peak.

"Close already?", he teased,

Continuing his ministrations.

"I must taste your release at once. Come for me, sweet girl", he demanded.

That was all I needed to hear.

I came with a moan so loud, I was thanking my lucky stars the walls were sound-proof.

Still, coming down from the euphoric high, he lets me down gently. Firmly holding my weak frame to steady me. Once he realized it was going to take a while for my legs to calm from there incessant shaking, he picked me up and laid me down on the sofa.

"Tonight, I will make up for lost time", he mumbled against my lips.

"I will show you just how deep my everlasting devotion for you lies"

With the help of his magic once again, he causes his trousers to disappear, along with his boxers.

His hard cock aching for attention.

"Do you see what you do to me? How desperate and needy I am for you?", he growls in my ear,

Causing my skin to raise in goosebumps. He takes the tip and rubs it up my already throbbing entrance.

"I've missed this so much", he confesses,

Before thrusting into me and ripping a cry from the depth of my chest. Without giving a moment to adjust, he began pounding into me at a merciless pace.

By this time, the sun had already began to peak from the horizon and the room smelt of sex and sweat. It was now his turn to yank at the roots of my hair, exposing my bare neck for his hungry teeth.

"I will mark you and claim you as mine once more", he mumbled against my warm skin,

As he repeatedly slammed into my g-spot. It didn't take long for my next orgasm to build, as my legs were already threatening to snap close and all I could do was scream out his name again and again like a fallen prayer.

I could tell by the rhythm of his hips faltering that he wasn't far behind either.

"Meet me there, darling. Come for me", he groaned,

As we both were thrusted over the edge. He spills himself inside my clenching walls, letting his head fall back at the overwhelming pleasure. Out of breath and well-spent, he collapses on top of me and wraps his arms around my waist.

We lay in the comforting silence for a moment, till he found the strength to pull out of me and lay me atop his chest.

"Yours"

I look up at him, as he brushed away a hair stuck to my forehead.

"Always"

[chloesolace]

My Tears Ricochet - Ascended!Astarion x Reader

summary: You helped Astarion ascend, not knowing what consequences this would have for your future together. After the changes become more and more noticeable, you realize you have to undo this mistake

pairing: Ascended!Astarion x Reader

word count: 1.7k

warnings: angst, light gore, major character death

a/n: I am back from the dead with an Astarion story <3 At the moment, I won't be taking requests so I can focus on my bachelor's and family as we're going through a bit of a rough time, but I will be uploading a Taylor Swift series here and there. Essentially, I'll write multifandom one-shots inspired by Taylor's songs to get back into writing. When my situation improves, I'll open my requests again! And don't forget to join my Discord server if you wanna be kept up to date with my writing

Masterlist - Discord Server - Request Info - Taylor Swift Series

We gather here We line up weeping in a sunlit room And if I'm on fire You'll be made of ashes, too

You stared at your hands. Your skin was dry were blood did not cover it, your nails dirty. There was a faint scream in the distance, but all you could hear was the loud ringing in your ears. It felt hard to breathe, as if you had to force out every single breath and keep reminding your body to suck the air in and push it back out of your lungs. It smelled metallic, and it made you sick. 

The clock to your right ticked away time you forgot you had. The ticking was, in fact, the only thing reminding you that time was still passing. Your muscles were frozen, unable to move as even the slightest twitching of your fingers felt stiff and forced. 

The shutting of a door made you jump, and you instinctively wrapped your hands around the armrests of the chair you were sitting on, smearing blood all over the dark wood. You looked up in the direction of the sound, and found your lover entering the foyer, humming a triumphant tune as a thin trail of blood ran down the corner of his mouth. When he spotted you, his lips formed a grin. 

“My love,” he said, flashing those pointy fangs at you. Astarion raised one hand toward you, a silent order for you to stand up and take it, but you remained seated, hands still wrapped around the chair. Silently, you looked at him. 

He waited a few seconds, his gloved fingers flexing in annoyance as you did not comply. “My love,” he repeated with a more assertive tone this time, and when you still did not react, his red eyes narrowed. 

“Get up, dammit,” he said through pressed teeth, emphasizing every word while his outstretched hand took on the form of a claw. You felt your breath quicken, something he no doubt noticed as well. 

You tried to ignore the shiver that ran down your spine as you stood, wiping your hands on your trousers while you approached him cautiously. Keeping your eyes locked with him so he wouldn't notice the way your hand shook, you placed it into his and withstood his gaze with a raised chin. 

The moment your hand landed in his, he abruptly pulled you towards him, digging the fingers of his free hand into your shoulder. His lips were near your ear, and you could smell the same metallic scent tainting his breath which had invaded your nose as you looked at your hands before. 

“You come when you are called,” he hissed, digging his fingers deeper into your flesh. “How does it look to our subjects when I cannot even control my consort?”

You swallowed, only barely managing to meet his gaze when he pulled away, keeping his hand wrapped around yours. You forced a smile, your eyes glassy. 

“Of course, beloved. I apologize.” Your voice did not shake, and you were proud of that, yet you could not help the faint jump as Astarion took a strand of your hair and twirled it between his fingers. 

“The fishermen have sworn their loyalty to us,”he proclaimed, any hint of anger gone from his voice. “I only had to drain three of their blood for them to comply, but I believe it certainly left an impression.” 

“You always had a thing for theatrics,” you replied, your voice void of emotion. “If it is one thing you know how to do, it is how to leave a lasting impression.” 

Astarion laughed at that, briefly touching your cheek. It was a soft gesture, almost as soft as he had been with you that night after Moonrise Towers when you were badly injured and he had tended to your wounds. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to suffocate the memory. 

“I am an expert in quite a lot of things, my dear.” He laughed again as he turned his back on you, finally wiping the blood from his chin. He tasted it once more, reveling in the sweet taste. It made you sick to know this was the blood of innocents. 

“Tomorrow night you will know the sweet taste of blood. You will drink from my wrist as if it were the most precious goblet, carrying the most exquisite of wines. For a moment, you will know no greater luxury,” he proclaimed before his voice dropped an octave and he turned back around, wrapping an arm around your waist. “That is, before you taste yourself on me, of course.”

Weeks ago, this would have excited you. But now, knowing that you had little choice in the matter, it turned your stomach. You stared into his eyes, a shade of crimson that you had learned to love in the most unconditional ways, and yet now their weight seemed to almost crush you. There was no spark of the man you once knew, he merely bore his face like a mask, grotesque in the way it gives you comfort while stripping you of it in every way. 

“I should rest,” you said, laying your hand over his in an attempt to break physical contact, but still trying to make the touch feel loving to him. “Today tired me. I don't have the benefits of vampiric endurance yet.” 

“Emphasis on yet. Soon, you will.” 

You smiled faintly. You saw in his eyes that he thought you were merely saying goodbye to your mortality, but you would never think of it. You would rather flee this palace and Baldur’s Gate and never return to this wretched city. Your Astarion, the old Astarion, would have never expected you to become his spawn, not after the pain he had experienced as a spawn himself. How it had made him a puppet, ready to do his master’s bidding at any given moment. This was not love, and though it was hard to accept, you recognized it now; it was obsession. 

You brought yourself to plant a soft kiss on his cheek, inhaling his scent as you closed your eyes and pretended you were still in that camp, celebrating your victory for the tieflings, with wine and laughter at every corner. It was the first night you had spent with him, reduced to a bittersweet memory that had burned itself into the back of your mind. 

That night, you waited in your chambers on the bed, the soft silk sheets beneath you feeling luxurious and comforting. A single flame danced between your fingers, which you had produced to warm yourself. The Szarr palace was not doing much to shield a mere mortal like you from the coldness of the night, but you knew how to help yourself. Magic had never failed you before. 

Your gaze fell upon the window in front of you, pressing your lips together in a fine line. It would have been easy to break it and flee, but he was not easy to trick. He would hunt you down, you were sure of it. 

Without warning, he entered your shared chambers, sighing deeply as he shut the door behind him. Astarion was wearing a dark red bathing robe, and his silver hair was slightly wet. There was no sign of blood when he let the robe fall to the floor, and an image of the red liquid forming tendrils in clear water crossed your mind, but you only blinked the mental picture away. 

When his eyes locked with yours, he smiled as if you were a special dessert he had been looking forward to all day. Astarion crawled on top of the bed before he came to a halt before you. Though he was kneeling on the sheets, you still felt smaller than him. You knew that to him, you would always be just that. 

“There you are, darling,” he said in a low voice, pulling you closer towards him as he buried a hand in your hair, softly massaging your scalp. “My little treat.” 

You blinked the tears away and tried to ignore how fast your heart was beating as you placed a hand on his cheek, cold skin meeting your palm. “Hello, Astarion,” you whispered, smiling at him as tears blurred your vision. 

“Do not be afraid,” he reassured you, but it did not sound sincere. His hand dropped from your hair to your chin, where he trapped it between two fingers and forced you to look at him. “You will awaken as a creature of the night. Mine and mine only.”

You sniffled, brushing a strand of hair out of his face, eyes flickering between his. In his irises, you saw the blood of those brave enough to withstand his tyrannical reign. You could have sworn they had deepened in color, too. 

“When I asked you if you were still the same Astarion, you said that you were,” you began, and the grin faded from his lips. “But that is not true. You changed. I wanted to give you everything you ever yearned for, I wanted to give you the whole world. But I failed to see that what you wanted would ruin you. I should have believed that I was enough to make you happy. I wish I could have believed that.” Your voice broke, but you saw the anger in his eyes, so you quickly continued. “You already had a dream. I only wish that instead of his power, that dream would have been me.” 

Hot tears fell down your cheeks as you finished, and before Astarion could even reply, you stood and spoke the words you would regret for the rest of your life. Almost immediately, a ray of light so bright appeared, that you had to shield your eyes for a moment. His screams penetrated your ears as the smell of burned flesh forced its way into your nose. You lowered your arms when your eyes got used to the brightness, possibly only thanks to your affinity to magic, and you immediately regretted having looked at him; his wide-eyed stare was fixed on you, and his face turned into a grimace of pain and agony. 

You sank to your knees on the floor as you watched him get weaker and weaker until the screaming stopped and his body lay motionless on the floor. He had fallen from the bed when he tried to get away from you. 

It was now your screams that filled the room, pressing your hands to your heart as you felt it physically ache. You had just saved countless lives and kept families together who would never thank you or even know about this sacrifice. And yet, it felt as if you had killed a part of yourself in the process.

You had to kill me but it killed you just the same Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

[eletricheart]

You're Losing Me

(Mother Miranda x Reader)

*image creds to the owner

Word count: 1.255

song: You're Losing Me by Taylor Swift

ps: i've been trying this new way of writting my stories, i have the ideas but i still cant put it all in one story, so i'm connecting it to the song lyrics, just to get it out yk.

ps2: angst

----------------------------------------------------

You say: I don't understand, and I say: I know you don't

We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't

Miranda had come back to the cabin after spending a week inside the lab. She expected to see you waiting on the couch but you were nowhere to be found inside the house.

It was three in the morning, way past the time you usually went to sleep. You considered waiting for her, at least during the first two days.

Miranda found you sitting outside, she sighed and sat beside you.

"You're late." You stated, keeping your eyes closed in a relaxed position.

She shrugged. "I had much to do."

You huffed. "I'm sleeping in my room, alone."

Miranda furrowed her eyebrows and looked at you. "I don't understand."

You sighed. "I know."

Remember looking at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light

Now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

Miranda stayed around for a couple days before diving into work again. You became used to it, the silence, the loneliness.

You would spend hours sitting in your shared room, remembering how long it took to decorate since you had different tastes. Remembering how the morning sun would always give the woman a holy aura.

You missed her.

Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

I'm getting tired, even for a phoenix

Always rising from the ashes

Mending all her gashes

You might just have dealt the final blow

This time the priestess came back during the morning, but only for a few minutes. She had forgotten one of her notes for the meeting with Alcina.

You reassured her it was fine, you were fine, she could go, you could talk later, it's okay. 

She just never noticed you.

Stop, you're losing me

Stop, you're losing me

Stop, you're losing me

I can't find a pulse

My heart won't start anymore

For you

'Cause you're losing me

You'd rarely see her now. She was either busy with experiments or in another meeting with one of the Lords.

You started to hate the cabin, you would walk around the woods (the lycans were smart enough to not bother you), sometimes you'd even accompany Duke during his sales.

Miranda only noticed when you weren't there once she arrived, but didn't pay much thought into it.

Every morning, I glared at you with storms in my eyes

How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying?

I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick

My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

You started to sleep less, to match her schedule. 

You were exhausted, everyday you tried something new, anything to have just a moment with her.

And the air is thick with loss and indecision

I know my pain is such an imposition

Now, you're running down the hallway

And you know what they all say

You don't know what you got until it's gone

You had woken up to Miranda looking for something in the drawers, waiting for her to find it in order to speak.

You sat on the bed, facing her. "Mira, it's one a.m, can you stay? Just this one time, please."

She looked at you, hesitantly. "I apologize for waking you, but this is urgent. I'll be back, wait for me. Okay?"

You weakly nodded and she left without another word.

How long could we be a sad song?

Till we were too far gone to bring back to life?

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

Miranda was stressed after the service at the village, and you were faithfully listening to every single complaint she was making. You dutifully supported her, just like all the other times she returns with a list of complaints big enough to write a book.

You accepted when she wanted to go over to Donna's for tea, even tho the priestess claimed you couldn't join because the dollmaker didn't like strangers.

Sometimes you still tried to prove that you could be there for her, but the woman never listened.

Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me

I'm the best thing at this party (you're losing me)

And I wouldn't marry me either

A pathological people pleaser

Who only wanted you to see her

Miranda stared at you in confusion. "You don't even like crows."

"But you do, this can be a group project, they become bearable when you're around." You responded, with a pleading smile.

She took a deep breath. "Sure, maybe next month."

You rolled your eyes. "I've got nothing to do right now, can't you fit this in your schedule?"

The priestess shook her head. "I have more important matters to attend to. We'll do this when I'm done, okay? Just wait a bit more."

And again, you nodded and she left.

And I'm fading, thinking

Do something, babe, say something (say something)

Lose something, babe, risk something (you're losing me)

Choose something, babe, I got nothing (I got nothing)

To believe, unless you're choosing me

You stood next to the door with your bag next to you. Duke had kindly offered to take you on one of his trips, you accepted of course, now you just had to tell Miranda.

Part of you wanted to just leave a letter, giving her the same consideration she has given you, but you couldn't. So now you were waiting.

When she arrived, the first thing to be said was "I'm really tired right now, we can talk tomorrow."

You were righteously annoyed, so you took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm leaving."

Miranda stopped before the stairs and turned around. "What do you mean by leaving?"

You nervously bit your lips. "Duke invited me to travel, I said yes."

She chuckled. "No."

You arched a brow. "I'm going Miranda, I just wanted to let you know."

Her smile turned into a frown. "When are you coming back?"

You laughed. "Really? That's what you're asking?"

"What do you want me to say?" She asked, slightly annoyed.

"Ask me to stay! Why is it so hard?"

"If you want to stay, why are you leaving?"

You put your hands in your head, trying not to cry out of anger mixed with sadness. "I just want you to care."

She sighed and walked towards you. "I care, why don't we talk about this later? We can unpack your bag, I'll even tell the Duke you reconsidered."

Tears were sliding down your face, which she was carefully wiping with her fingers. "We're not gonna talk, we never do."

Miranda nodded and pulled you in a hug. "I know, I've just been very busy lately. You understand, right?"

You nodded, weakly, hugging her tight.

She smiled, faintly. "Good. Let's go back up, it'll be over soon, you just have to wait."

You gently separated from the hug and looked her in the eyes. "I need time."

Miranda frowned. "You don't need to leave for that."

You smiled, weakly. "I know, but I want to."

The woman looked at you with furrowed brows and a frown, but still nodded. "Will you come back?"

"I don't know."

You're losing me

Stop (stop, stop), you're losing me

Stop (stop, stop), you're losing me

I can't find a pulse

My heart won't start anymore

----------------------------------------------------

masterlist

[heartpascal]

time for the "i would let you in" song association version 🤭

I WOULD LET YOU IN

(reader)

• in my room - chance peña

"guess we weren't meant to last,

so i'll keep counting stars inside my room."

• right where you left me - taylor swift

"some perspective, but i sat and stared,

right where you left me,

you left me no, oh, you left me no,

you left me no choice but to stay here forever."

• i'm still standing - elton john

"don't you know i'm still standing better than i ever did,

looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid,

i'm still standing after all this time,

picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind."

• snap - rosa linn

"it's 4 am, i can't turn my head off,

wishing these memories would fade, they never do,

turns out people lie,

they said, "just snap your fingers"

as if it was really that easy for me to get over you,

i just need time."

(joel)

• glimpse of us - joji

"said, "i'm fine" and said, "i moved on,"

i'm only here passing time in her arms,

hoping i'll find a glimpse of us."

• the ones we once loved - ben&ben

"it's been a long time since your eyes lit up that way,

i felt the guilt build up as i looked back how things went wrong,

did i have to sweep in and scar you?"

"so, i apologize for coming into your life,

just to break your heart to pieces, and then leave you in the night."

• watching him fade away - mac demarco

"it still hurts watching him fade away, watching him fade away."

• nothing is lost (you give me strength) - the weeknd

"i thought i could protect you from paying for my sins,

and i been walking this earth long enough that death's a gift,

been living this life so patient until i see you again,

it's war we're facing,

i know that if i died my only choice is still defending."

• sparks - coldplay

"did i drive you away?

i know what you'll say."

"and i know, i was wrong,

but i won't let you down."

• back to december - taylor swift

"so this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you,

saying i'm sorry for that night,

and i'd go back to december all the time."

(tommy)

• two - sleeping at last

"tell me, is something wrong?

you know i'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat,

it's okay if you can't find the words."

"tell me where it hurts,

i just want to build you up, build you up,

till you're good as new."

• fix you - coldplay

"lights will guide you home,

and ignite your bones,

and i will try to fix you."

• yes to heaven - christi buckley

"if you dance, i'll dance,

and if you don't, i'll dance anyway,

give peace a chance,

let the fear you have fall away,

i've got my eyes on you."

• carry you - ruelle, fleuri

"you are not alone,

i've been here the whole time singing you a song,

i will carry you."

(reader, joel, ellie)

• i love you so - the walters

"'cause you were cruel and i'm a fool,

so, please let me go,

but i love you so (please let me go)."

• two birds - regina spektor

"two birds of a feather,

say that they're always,

gonna stay together,

but one's never goin' to let go of that wire,

he says that he will,

but he's just a liar."

first of all. THE INCLUSION OF TOMMY!!! YES!!! “and i will try to fix you” 😭😭😭 DO YOU HEAR MY SOBBING MY HEART OUT???? and the reader ones ??? dude.

my heart hurts EVERY TIME WITJ THE JOEL ONES </3 “did i have to sweep in and scar you” do you hear me violently crying

[its-tortle]

From what I've seen apparently matty did the nazi salute once, and made racist and islamophobic comments, like ik it's none of our business who taylor dates but even so I feel like taylor should be a bit more aware of the company she keeps

hi! no i totally get what you mean! it's good to hold people accountable for their actions and i understand that taylor's association with him is stirring things up for people, especially cause her image is so comparatively clean and tame. matty has definitely done some questionable if not outright fucked up things and i'm not saying he hasn't. and i don't want to defend him and say he's an angel and uwu baby girl because he's not, but let me try and explain my insight as best i can.

i've been a fan of the 1975 for six or seven years now, and their image is not about being clean. i remember being 15 and listening to their songs about drugs and sex and suicide and going oop this is a bit problematic. but their image is also not mindless -- especially in recent years (most explicitly in their last three albums) the 1975 has been about social commentary. sometimes this is sad "I'm sorry if you're living and you're 17" and sometimes it's a more goofy-toned "QAnon created a legitimate scene but it was just some bloke in the Philippines" (both from the 1975 (2022)). in either case, their lyrics are full of irony and provocative lines for the sake of commentary. love it if we made it starts as follows:

Fucking in a car Shooting heroin Saying controversial things Just for the hell of it Selling melanin and then Suffocate the black man Start with misdemeanours And we'll make a business out of them

and it's not a song in favor of any of that. instead, it's pointing out the weird polarized state of things and knowing that that first line will get you to listen. that's what it's all about i think, a plea for attention. matty keeps opening his mouth on stage and going "not to be racist but-" *band starts playing* because he's doing some fucked up ironic bit and he knows that a video of that will go viral. it's promo yes, but it's also the continued curation of this ironic polarized image. his songwriting reveals that he doesn't mean any of that, he's just doing a shoddy job of making that clear to people who aren't in on the 1975 cult.

matty is all about saying controversial things just for the hell of it, but i don't think he means most of what he says -- of course this doesn't mean it's okay to say things if it hurts people. i just think he's very self-aware. matty knows he's a mess. he's a recovering drug addict who has been writing songs with his mates since he was 14 years old and isn't cut out for being famous in an age of cancel culture.

I'm sorry about my 20's I was learning the ropes I had a tendency of thinking about it after I spoke "We're experiencing life through the postmodern lens" Oh call it like it is!

or

And I took shit for being quiet during the election Maybe that's fair, but I'm a busy guy I get stoned nowhere and get paid there It's not really how babies get made So, I take a minute when I think I won't die from stopping Oh, I'm just a busy guy

i don't know, i don't really want to keep just throwing lyrics at you. i just think that his songwriting is so self-referential and reveals so much about his image and relationship to fame.

he's not good at sincerity and he's certainly not sweet. his bits aren't funny to everyone. he keeps hurting people with his careless use of words, especially on stage. if i wasn't a fan of his band and knew all of their music by heart, i wouldn't be happy to see him with taylor either. so, i get it.

he did recently acknowledge the controversy at one of his shows and sort of apologized in a very matty way. it made me happy to see, but again, i get if it's not enough for those that have been targeted by his bits. i'm a white woman, and i can not accept his apology for anyone else.

i'm not trying to make excuses for him or tell anyone else how to feel about him or his connection to taylor. this is just my take on it, and if it makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to block me !!

[scaredofghosts]

Hi!! I am so excited to be your Secret Santa!!! Tell me your favorite things! (Taylor era, colors, aesthetics, foods, specific lyrics, songs and anything else!!)

Hi!! omg I'm so excited too <3 how are you, love??

My fav Taylor era (and album) is Reputation, it's getting hard to rank her albums though! What's yours?

My fav color is definitely turquoise, I also love fuccia, white and black, and I really love the minimalist aesthetic:)

Food mmm I'd say spaghetti, that's my weakness lol I can eat it with any sauce, except if it contains seafood, I don't like it at all

I'm gonna give you a (long) list with my favorite Taylor songs and lyrics, because I'm a little too indecisive as you can tell 🙈 sorry if this is too much!

Jump Then Fall: I've never been so wrapped up honey, I like the way you're everything I ever wanted

Forever And Always: here's to silence, that cuts me to the core, where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore

You're Not Sorry: and you got your share of secrets and I'm tired of being last to know

Bye Bye Baby: I was so sure of everything, everything I thought we'd always had

The Other Side Of The Door: I keep going back over things we both said, and I remember the slamming door and all the things that I misread

The Story Of Us: this is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less

Sparks Fly: just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right

If This Was A Movie: the entire bridge tbh

Haunted: something keeps me holding on to nothing

I Almost Do: oh, we made quite a mess, babe, it's probably better off this way

The Last Time: just like all those times before, you wear your best apology but I was there to watch you leave

Come Back...Be Here: Taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me, I can't help but wish you took me with you

The Very First Night: We broke the status quo, then we broke each other's hearts

All You Had To Do Was Stay: here you are now, calling me up but I don't know what to say, I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made

I know Places: lights flash and we'll run for the fences, let them say what they want, we won't hear it

Wonderland: but there were strangers watching, and whispers turned to talking, and talking turned to screams

So It Goes...: wear you like a necklace, I'm m so chill, but you make me jealous

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: so, baby, can we dance oh, through an avalanche? And say, say that we got it, I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

Don't Blame Me: If you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay

Lover: and at every table, I'll save you a seat loverrrr

False God: but we can patch it up good make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness, got the wine for you

Cruel Summer: I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

Afterglow: this ultraviolet morning light below, tells me this love is worth the fight

seven: love you to the moon and to saturn

hoax: you knew you won so what's the point of keeping score?

this is me trying: I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

my tears ricochet: and I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home

gold rush: I don't like that falling feels like flying 'till the bone crush

cowboy like me: Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon, with your boots beneath my bed forever is the sweetest con

right where you left me: if our love died young, I can't bear witness

coney island: will you forgive my soul, when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

renegade: is it insensitive for me to say get your sh*t together, so I can love you?

Maroon: You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway, carnations you had thought were roses, that's us

Would've, Could've, Sould've: and if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was, but, Lord, you made me feel important and then you tried to erase us

The Great War: say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair

And a really really special mention to 'it's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold' from end game

Sorry for late reply, I've been kinda busy, hope you have an amazing week!💜

[tommydoesntpayforsuits]

I'm really falling for this girl, but she won't say were exclusive (which means we're not, to me, quite frankly). And it's just so confusing because she says she wants to be with me? But she won't say we're exclusive?

Like, does she not realise that other people are trying to talk to me? Does it not bother her that other girls are trying to date me too? Does it not keep her up at night that there are girls asking me out whilst we're texting each other? Because sometimes she does get jealous (not like angry and rampant. Just a quiet, "oh...") when I mentioned I was talking to other people. So you'd think if it bothered her that much, she'd do something about it. She doesn't strike me as a fuckboy either (very monogamous, only dated one person before, etc.).

She says her feelings are super strong, like she says and does some of the most intense romantic shit I've ever experienced, and she puts in olympic effort with me that I'd only ever heard about in fiction. And as far as I'm aware, she's not even talking to anyone else, let alone dating them. I'm the only one, supposedly. And, I've reciprocated very, very clearly that I like her romantically, not just sexually, in plain English. There would be no cause for confusion. We are so, so, so naturally drawn together, we both said it, its like a force, its magnetic, its chemical, its undeniable.

We said we're going slow (or as slow as possible without uhauling, because... lesbians), and it's honestly more for my benefit, I think, because we went through a rough patch (personal mental health/life struggles, but we waded through it) where I wasn't sure what we were, but I wasnt about to bring it up because of the situation, and it made me lose a lot of trust very quickly. She's apologised (not that I wanted an apology, I understood) and insisted she wasn't going to fuck it up again. And the going slow just helps me know that she's not just trying to fuck me, and so that the chemistry doesn't blow up (yes, Taylor reference implied, lol).

But idk how to say that, "listen. If you want me you've got to make me yours, because I've got 3 girls asking me out and I dont know what to tell them." But like, in a nice way? Or even at all? Like is that fair to say? We've been doing this song and dance for over a month now, I think? I'm not even asking for us to be girlfriends, I'm just asking whether I should be talking to other people.

Am I just sex? Am I an option without any competition? I got the impression we're equally as crazy about each other, but maybe I'm wrong? Idk, i thought she really, intensely liked me. Maybe she thought we already were exclusive?

Like, I'm confused.

[malewife-cas]

lyrics that remind me of byler:

“i just need a quiet place / where i can scream how i love you” -mitski (i want you)

“Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire? / I made you my temple, my mural, my sky / Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life / Drawing hearts in the byline” taylor swift (tolerate it)

“you’re so gorgeous / i can’t say anything to your face / cause look at your face / and i’m so furious at you for making me feel this way,” -t swizzle (gorgeous)

“can’t get your name past my lips like a slur / and i think i’m in love with the idea of her / lie in the morning aurora / what time is it in california?” -cavetown (idea of her)

“you won't miss me when I go / i’m leaving monday / i was never asking much / but maybe I would have said something / if I knew we wouldn’t keep in touch” -house phone (alternate universes)

“should i try to hide / the way i feel inside? / would you say that you / would try to love me too in your mind / could you ever be really close to me? / i can tell the way you smile / if i feel that i could be certain then / i would say that things i want to say tonight” -the zombies (the way i feel inside) !!!!

“cause sometimes i look in her eyes, and that’s where i find / a glimpse of us / and i try to fall for her touch, but i’m thinking of the way it was” -joji (glimpse of us)

“and im sorry if / i have been a real bad friend / your face too close to mine / to hear you talk” -frankie cosmos (sappho)

“we don't talk anymore / and now we're both on the floor / in your brother's room / i’m not over you” AND

^ “i dream out of you and i / in a different time / where we don't have to hide anymore / you got me in my head / just kiss me now instead /or lay me down to rest” -dylan davidson (know me better)

“honey just put your sweet lips on my lips / we should just kiss like real people do” -hozier (like real people do)

“every time i think of you now / i get so blue somehow / cause i, cause i still love you” -molly burch (please be mine)

“there is no other place in this world that i’d rather be / if i can’t be at home then i’ll send my apologies / can’t you stay right here forever pretty please / i need you here with me” -I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME (i need you here with me)

“gonna hold you / gonna kiss you in my arms / gonna take ya / away from harm” -angus & julia stone (big jet plane)

“but every time i close my eyes i think of him / and all the things i didn’t even do with him” -princess chelsea (i love my boyfriend)

i could genuinely go on forever. i know i have so many more songs that remind me of them… it’s unhealthy at this point <3

[clavis-baby]

Songs that You would listen to After a Breakup with The Brothers

(Lucifer,Mammon,Satan,Asmo)

I’m so sorry I was listening to reckless and it made me feel something (also I’ve never dated anyone sooo shhh)

Also I tried to add at least 3/4 to every brother but I realized they all had a Olivia Rodrigo song so sorry about that also I tried not cross over the same songs 😅

Also Spotify Playlist!!!

————-

Lucifer

enough for you - Olivia Rodrigo

Okay so first Olivia track honestly I know we all cried to her whole album don’t deny it but essentially I felt that with the lyrics I wore makeup when we dated“'Cause I thought you'd like me more If I looked like the other prom queens” and “Tried so hard to be everything that you liked” I feel like Lucifer would expect that his lover to be perfect honestly this song really would work well with both of Satan and Lucifer so deciding between them was pretty hard but the pushing point for me to put this with Lucifer was the lyric “But I don't think anything could ever be enough”

Without me - Halsey

(Ugh I love Halsey so much and her baby soon!!!) Anyway!! For Lucifer I really think that his pride would’ve gotten in the way of all of his relationships he’s ever had but “Feeling so high but too far away to hold me You know I'm the one who put you up there Name in the sky Does it ever get lonely?” Just screams Lucifer and how the chorus keeps on saying “I said I'd catch you if you fall” ahh perfect (could also work for Asmo)

I knew you were trouble - Taylor Swift

Won’t lie but embarrassed that I choose this song but it works for Lucifer sooo whatever but the chorus really is a fairly good start I feel like anyone who has a brain (even tho MC really doesn’t) dating Lucifer wouldn’t be particularly 100% safe but whatever he’s most people’s favorites again I used to love this song but don’t anymore so when I looked up songs about break ups (yes I did that) and Trouble came up I relistened and with these lyrics I had to include it No apologies “He'll never see you cry Pretends he doesn't know That he's the reason why”

Let Me down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

Now if this was a cheating thing and he did cheat this would be like the absolute BEST SONG!! But tbh this is a pretty good song for any breakup I feel like…OH WELL! :) the first lyric FIRST LYRIC “This night is cold in the kingdom” I felt represented his pride idk how to explain but idk T-T I can explain the rest tho >~< “I once was a man with dignity and grace Now I'm slippin' through the cracks of your cold embrace” once again pride but with “Could you find a way to let me down slowly? A little sympathy, I hope you can show me” I really hc that almost with all the boys but especially with Lucifer they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone

Mammon

(I’m a sucker for him im sorry I put all the most emotional songs with him)

Reckless - Madison Beer

This was the song that inspired this whole post!! (Sadly, it made me feel things) But this song really could be used for Belphie and maybe a hint of Asmo but Mammon was the first person I thought about when listening to this song so it’s mammon. Mammon I just feel like behind all the tunsdere act he really promises us so much like obviously the protection but Reckless just show us within the lyrics “I still have the letter you wrote When you told me that I was the only girl You'd ever want in your life” and even this lyric with his whole first man thing and even him asking us to come to him for protection “You might love her now, but you loved me first Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are” it just is so good 😭

Love me or leave me - little mix

So if you even skim through these Mammon songs and know about my posts I love him so much so even though what I said in Lucifers part about them not caring about cheating and stuff I feel like Mammon might care just because of how much he promises things also I read a lot of fanfics with what I just said “And you're turning away like you hate me Do you hate me? Do you hate me? Oh” tbh because of this lyric I did think for a moment to use this song for Satan but Uhhh this is really emotional song and I love my bby “Do you remember when you loved me once What happened? What happened? And you'd hold me here just because” LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME HERE!!!

Be Alright - Dean Lewis

This song I feel like was a bit more for me sooo yeah also remember what I said about how I hc that almost with all the boys that they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush with you they would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone wel I sort of want to believe mammon wouldn’t and his greed gets in the way (who am I kidding I’m just making excuses for my baby) but I’m going to continue on what I just said because Umm well I can do uh “You start to tremble and your voice begins to break You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's They were my mate's”

(I couldn’t find anymore songs that I felt that would fit him 😭)

Asmo

Ex best friend - Machine gun Kelly

When I was writing this originally there was going to be like 4 parts of all the characters but then once I realized how many songs and I couldn’t think of any for others and how I wanted to add an explanation I gave up on that but originally it was going to also be cheating songs, fall outs, then just aftermaths of breakup songs which to be honest this song really could fit with the after math and cheating songs I feel like Asmo and his SO are more likely a not able to quit each other sort of thing “We're both drunk on the elevator When I kissed you for the first time in New York City, uh” and even near the end of the first season the only little part we sort of get from character development from Asmo when we was drunk explains what he was sort of saying “I swear to God, I never fall in love Then you showed up, and I can't get enough of it I swear to God, I never fall in love I never fall in love, but I can't get enough of it First off, I'm not sorry I won't apologize to nobody You play like I'm invisible Girl, don't act like you ain't saw me” personally I do think that inside Asmo might be insecure and a bit sensitive on the inside but I could be wrong

When the party’s over - Billie Eilish

Wow I have the lyrics up and I just realized this 3 minute song has barley lyrics but the song still fits Asmo so.

traitor - Olivia Rodrio

Even tho that all these songs were on cheating I tend to hc that Asmo isn’t a huge fan of solo partnership because of the title avatar of lust so I feel like in maybe the beginning of a relationship he would promise to you that he would be there for you but would maybe end up not staying true to his words I forgot who but someone else explained why they don’t believe that Asmo wouldn’t be able to go with out having a Polly relationship

——-

I’ve had this in my drafts for so long and wanted to post this but at this point I’ve just can’t add anymore so this is my lazy part

Boys like you - Anna Clendening

Satan

Again I’m lazy rn but I wanted Satans part to show just pure madness and anger but also as time progress just sadness for Satans pure side also anything that had to do with books or a story I added for u know Satan loving books

I’m not mad - Halsey

Moral of the story - Ashe

Blue - Madison Beer

[megatraven]

Stay Stay Stay

Pairing: Hydra x MC Summary:

"I'm so sorry I'm late," she says, looking away. "I tried to call, but-"

"Olympus has bad service. I know." He squeezes her hands, and smiles easily when she squeezes back.

"Right. Still. It's no excuse, but... thank you for waiting for me." A dusting of pink stains her cheeks as she returns her gaze to him. "I've missed you."

A/N: The title is taken from a Taylor Swift song by the same name :) Requested by and written for the anon who simply requested more Hydra x MC fic!

AO3

__

Hydra taps his fingers on the table, a strange bout of nerves making him fidget in ways he's never done before. His stomach is coiled tight, and every single time the bell above the café's door rings, he can't help but look up, hopeful. Unfortunately, that means he's met with disappointment each time a stranger comes in- and it being autumn, a lot of people are coming in.

With a sigh, he glances at his watch again.

12:45

Over an hour past their meeting time.

It's not the first time she's done this, but it doesn't get any easier to be on the receiving end of her late arrivals, with no texted apology or excuse to keep him occupied. Still, at the very least, he knows her well enough to know that she won't just abandon him completely. Even if she's only able to stop by for a few minutes, she'll do it, just to see him, and so he can see her. She leaves him waiting, even wanting, but she never just leaves him.

Megara passes by, squeezing his shoulder and offering a sad smile before she refills his coffee for the third time. He thanks her with a smile of his own, and a murmured, "I appreciate it."

He takes a sip of it before adding anything, and decides not to add anything at all as the bell above the door rings again. When he looks up, it's another nobody, and he returns his gaze down the the napkin he'd shredded about half an hour ago. Anything to keep him busy while he waits. He's about to start in on making the pieces even smaller when the bell sounds again. Unable to help himself, he looks up yet again, and he finally feels himself relax.

She's here.

Whirlwind that she always in, she breezes past the other customers, ignoring the few stares she gets just by the way she commands the attention of any room she's in. Her hair is hastily thrown into a bun, reminiscent of how she used to wear her hair, when she was human. Her eyes- brown, with flecks of gold- are warm and filled to the brim with affection the moment she meets his gaze. There's guilt there, too, but he can see her tuck it away; they don't have the time to get into those sorts of discussions anymore, not when their time together is already so often limited to a few hours here and there.

She sits down across from him, instantly reaching her hands out over the table to grab onto his. His fidgeting comes to a standstill at her touch, and that little something that keeps him constantly on edge in her absence settles.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," she says, looking away. "I tried to call, but-"

"Olympus has bad service. I know." He squeezes her hands, and smiles easily when she squeezes back.

"Right. Still. It's no excuse, but... thank you for waiting for me." A dusting of pink stains her cheeks as she returns her gaze to him. "I've missed you."

The earnestness of her voice warms him through, more than the previous three cups of coffee combined. Bringing one of her hands up, he kisses her knuckles first, then the sapphire ring on her finger.

The ring he had given her just two years after they had met, when he has proposed to her, even knowing that she was going to choose becoming a goddess. He'd told her, back then, that he would love her no matter her choice, and thus far, he'd made good on that promise.

She may be busy more often than he cares to admit, but he loves her all the same. It's why he sits in coffee shops and cafés and restaurants for hours waiting for the small moments they spend together, the moments he treasures above all else.

When he sees her relax at his show of affection, he lets out a breath, the underlying tension that's always between them loosening it's grip.

"I would never stop waiting," he finally says, letting their hands fall back to the table. And, unwarranted, the words he'd told her that night he proposed spill from him again, an echo of his promise. "I'll follow you all my life."

Something in her expression softens, and she suddenly looks like the years of godly duty have been shed from her, the weight that was put on her shoulders disappearing, for just that moment.

"That means the world to me," she murmurs, and she looks at him as if he is the world to her.

She takes a deep breath, piquing his interest, and opens her mouth to say something when her phone rings. Deflating at the ringtone that plays, she scowls, untangling one of her hands from his to silent the call.

"Shouldn't you-"

"No," she says, a little too fast as she shakes her head. "I haven't been here for five minutes- gods, I haven't even gotten the menu yet! I... haven't even asked how your week has been."

He frowns, but let's it drop, even though he's doubtful that the gods will let her ignore them for long.

With a huff that's unfairly cute, she turns her phone off so that he can see it, and pockets the device again. Afterwards, she forces a smile back to her face in an attempt to save their date and unspoil the mood.

It makes him smirk, and he knows that if there's one constant between the two of them, it's that it will always be incredibly easy and natural to fall back into their banter with each other.

"Don't make that face," he says, "It'll get stuck there permanently."

A pause. He sees her freeze in place, shooting him a look that says "don't you dare" and his smirk grows.

"Like the bags under your eyes."

Her fingers twitch in his, and although she fights against it, she can't resist bringing her hands up to check. A relieved sigh leaves her, followed by an embarrassed laugh.

"That's so mean. You're mean," she says, with no bite to it at all. Her grin is more genuine, now, and she mock-glares at him. "Besides, you have no room to talk. You have frown lines that won't go away."

"Ha! Yeah, right. And where are those?" he asks, rolling his eyes.

"Mm... hold on, let me get a little closer," she says, leaning over the table, her stare intensely scrutinizing his lips. "Right.... there. And there."

She closes the distance between them, pressing a sweet, long-awaited kiss to the corners of his mouth before kissing him fully. It shatters something- the dam both had been keeping up to keep themselves distant, closed off. Hydra kisses her back, as if doing so is all that keeps him alive.

Breathless when they pull apart, Hydra grins at her.

"Definitely not frowning now."

She grins back, about to throw another teasing barb his way when two shadows fall over them. Hydra tenses, the lighthearted atmosphere effectively snuffed out at the arrival of two gods, one in particular he can't stand to be around. But he knows better than to make any sly remarks when it could have negative consequences for the only goddess he cares for in any capacity.

"Hades. Aphrodite. You're both here, on my date... Why?" she asks them, voice strained. For all that she had tried to hide it, the exhaustion and stress she must be feeling finally break through her carefully molded mask. Hydra's heart aches at the sight of her so wore down, her eyes so unusually dull.

Hades doesn't even spare Hydra a glance, though Aphrodite meets his gaze with some amount of sympathy and guilt. Not that it means anything to him, but being acknowledged is better than being ignored.

"You're needed for urgent matters on Olympus... and your phone was mysteriously off," Hades remarks, keeping both his expression and tone neutral, devoid of anything other than pure professionalism. "Aphrodite and I came to collect you."

Before she can even react, she's being ushered up and out of her seat. A little frantic, a lot heartbroken, she looks at Hydra, trying to convey... something. Sorrow? An apology? A goodbye?

He isn't sure; she's gotten remarkably harder to read since becoming one of the divine, and that's a fact that doesn't sit easy with him.

She reaches out to him, and he reaches back- but they've already pulled her too far. His fingers meet open air, and her hand drops back to her side.

"It's okay, Wisp," he tells her, sad but understanding of her predicament. "Same time next week, right?"

But she doesn't respond, getting pulled back towards the door by Hades and Aphrodite both. All she does is stare after him, holding his gaze. Her expression is torn, but it only emphasizes the silent fury she exudes. Her hands clench into fists, her brow furrows, and her entire frame becomes stiff, resistant. From his seat, Hydra can see it when gold lights up her eyes, filling them completely. It's both awe-inspiring and chilling to witness, the power she commands primordial and raw, all contained in those golden eyes.

"No."

She doesn't shout it. In fact, it's barely even a whisper, yet the café quiets considerably, and every eye in the vicinity is drawn to her. She pulls herself back, out of the hands of the gods. Taking a step back towards Hydra, she turns to face them, though her hand is held out behind her back.

This, at least, Hydra knows the answer to.

He moves from his seat and grabs hold of her hand, uniting them.

"I'm not going," she continues, her voice still quiet, but so, so strong.

Hades' calm façade breaks for just a moment, letting his shock be seen. Aphrodite, on the other hand, wears a small, almost triumphant smile.

"I haven't seen my fiancé for more than ten minutes at a time in the past month. I'm staying, here, with him."

She pulls on his hand, tugging him forward so that he's standing shoulder-to-shoulder with her. She squeezes his hand tight, almost painfully so- something else he wasn't quite used to- as if she feared that he would let her go. So he holds her back just as tight, doing his best to let her know that she never needs to doubt that he'll remain by her side, always.

"We need Hera-"

"No you don't!" she shouts, the sudden boom of her voice making several people jump- including Hades himself. Her anger boils over, her aura seeping from her skin in a way that makes her entire body glow.

"You were fine without Hera for over a century! You can do without her for one gods-damned day!" Taking a shaky breath, she turns away from them, into Hydra's chest, and his free arm instantly wraps around her.

"Figure it out yourselves."

Hades opens his mouth to retort, but the look Aphrodite sends him makes him think better of it. Instead, he gives one sharp nod. Aphrodite, for her part, does the job of ensuring the mortals around them don't remember what just happened, and then they leave together, just as quick as they came.

"They're gone," Hydra whispers, planting a row of kisses over the crown of her head. With great gentleness, he pries his hand out of hers so that he can hug her properly, holding her close. With no space between them, he can see and feel how violently she's shaking, though he's not sure if it's the remnants of her anger, or the fear of realizing that she'd just denied the gods to their faces.

Regardless of what it is, he holds on, whispering the sweetest nothings to her and rubbing calming patterns into her back. Slowly, it has the desired effect on her, and the shaking comes to a stop as well as the glowing. She sniffles, arms wrapped tight around him, but the fistfuls of fabric that were clenched in her hands are released.

He can't help the soft chuckle that leaves him.

"You're ruining my shirt."

He hugs her a little tighter, just to make sure that she knows he doesn't want her to let go.

Her return laugh is watery, but she sniffles again and looks up at him.

"It was already ruined," she says. At his confusion, she manages a weak smile. "You have a big ramen stain right below the collar."

She points to a spot on his chest and he angles his head down to see, flushing from embarrassment. He'd been in such a rush to arrive on time that he'd just thrown on what he grabbed first and left. Instead of seeing a stain, her finger comes up quicker than he can prepare for and flicks him in the nose.

"Got you."

"Oh, no, Wisp. I've got you."

His smile turns wicked, and her eyes grow wide as he scoops her into his arms, just as easy as the first time he'd done it all those years ago. She near-shrieks, laughing even as her tears dry over her cheeks. Her palm bangs against his chest playfully, with no force behind it at all as she commands him to put her down; he doesn't. Rather, he carries her back to their table and slides her neatly into the inner part of the booth, blocking her in with his body.

"There," he says, smug. "Now you can't leave."

Almost expecting a joke from her, he's a little surprised to see her blush.

"Good. I don't want to leave."

"I know." His voice softens, low enough to be heard by only her. "I don't want you to leave, either."

She leans into him, hooking their arms together and laying her head against his shoulder. And she fits there, against his side, perfectly, as if no time had passed between them at all. It hardens Hydra's resolve to keep this- them, together- further. He'll never let it go. He's about to say as much when she speaks.

"... Can I get a menu?"

"You can have anything you want, Wisp."

He puts a hand out and gestures for Megara to come over, but his eyes never leave his lover's, whose eyes have turned brown again, even more so than before.

"Anything at all."

[arctic-comet]

Osblaine week 2021, Day 2: Lyrics

Over the last several weeks, I have carefully curated a playlist for Osblaine. The final total length of the playlist is 2 hours and 53 minutes.

The playlist can be found HERE

Click "Keep Reading" if you're interested in the introduction, commentary, more graphics and the full tracklist.

For full disclosure, I have to give some of the credit to my amazing fellow Osblaine fangirls @dystopiandramaqueen, @splitscreen and everyone who participated in a certain conversation for the original inspiration and even bringing up some of the songs.

You should look at the playlist in five parts: one section for each season that's aired and one section for the future (because I like to end things on a hopeful note).

The playlist contains a lot of the following:

Music from movie and TV soundtracks

Instrumental music

Remixes

Classics and covers of classics

Country music. I blame Florida. My sincerest apologies.

Some of the songs were chosen because they reminded me of a certain Osblaine scene, and some of them aren't specific to particular scenes but chosen for the general Osblaine vibe. And most of the movie/TV music I chose have been used for couples that remind me of Nick and June.

Part I- Season 1, first 12 songs of the playlist:

Forbidden Love- Abel Korzeniowski, Jasper Randall, The Hollywood Studio Symphony (Romeo & Juliet)

Fireflies- Owl City

Echoes in Rain- Enya

My Ghost- Glass Pear (Bones)

Daring to Hope- Anne Dudley (Poldark)

Everytime We Touch- Cascada

1000 Times- Sara Bareilles

Too Good At Goodbyes- Sam Smith

In Case You Don't Live Forever- Ben Platt

To Find You- Cast of Sing Street, Brenock O’Connor

She- Elvis Costello (Notting Hill)

Miracle- Instrumental- Cö Shu Nie

Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse

Commentary:

The first instrumental song IMO works as an intro for their entire love story.

The next two songs are more about having the right vibe. It's a little ambiguous and dark because that's how their life is in Gilead.

Leave my door open just a crack

Please take me away from here

'Cause I feel like such an insomniac

Please take me away from here

Why do I tire of counting sheep?

Please take me away from here

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

***

Wait for the sun

Watching the sky

Black as a crow

Night passes by

Taking the stars

So far away

Everything flows

Here comes another new day

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

***

"My Ghost" is June's POV before they sleep together, wondering if she can trust Nick:

Who can you trust, in this place?

And whom can I put my faith?

If you're real, then show me now,

Who you are

The last two songs are for episode 1x10, for both Nick’s reaction to June’s pregnancy and the beginning of her first escape attempt (arranged by Nick).

She may be the face I can't forget The trace of pleasure or regret May be my treasure or the price I have to pay She may be the song that summer sings Maybe the chill that autumn brings Maybe a hundred different things Within the measure of a day

Part II- Season 2, next 10 songs:

Love Will Keep Us Alive- Eagles

So Easy- Phillip Phillips

Incomplete- James Bay

Rewrite the Stars- The Piano Guys (The Greatest Showman)

I’ll Be Your Shelter- Taylor Dayne

Love Never Fails- Brandon Heath

P.S. I Love You- 05:11- John Powell (P.S. I Love You)

It's A Girl- Mychel Danna (The Time Traveler's Wife)

I'll Stand By You- Josh Groban, Helene Fischer

The Miracle of Love- Eurythmics

Commentary:

The first four songs cover June’s escape attempt and the time they share at the Boston Globe.

"Incomplete" is Nick's POV from when she's on the run and he knows she'll be gone from his life soon. He lives in the moment.

I don't wanna look down

I don't want us to break up in the clouds

All I want is to stay us, to stay with you now

"I'll Be Your Shelter" is for when June's mental health is at its lowest point and he goes to Serena to beg for her to get June help.

What you need is a friend to count on

What you got baby you got someone

Who will stay when the rain is fallin'

And won't let it fall on you

P.S. I Love You takes me back to episode 2.09, Nick’s selflessness in the episode and of course the scene where after telling June that Luke loves her, he tells her that he loves her too, despite believing she probably doesn’t feel the same way.

It's A Girl makes me think of the beautiful moment they share during June's false labor when he helps her out of the van and they climb the steps together.

I’ll Stand By You is for 2.10, Nick holding June after she was heartbroken over Hannah and over what the Waterfords did to her and clinging onto him.

Part III- Season 3, next 6 songs:

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close- Alexandre Desplat (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

All I Ask- Adele

Never Enough- Loren Allred (The Greatest Showman)

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever- Taylor Swift, ZAYN (Fifty Shades Darker)

Love is Gone- SLANDER, Dylan Matthew

Constellations- The Oh Hellos

Commentary:

For obvious reasons, it was extremely difficult to pick songs for this season.

The first (instrumental) song is for the beginning of the season with June coming back to the Waterford house and them then saying goodbye to each other on the street.

All I Ask, Never Enough, I Don't Wanna Live Forever and Love Is Gone are for their night together in June’s room at Lawrence’s (the one we didn’t get to see sigh). They know it's possible it's all they'll ever have, and they'll take it, but it'll never be enough.

I will leave my heart at the door I won't say a word They've all been said before, you know So why don't we just play pretend? Like we're not scared of what's coming next Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I ask is

If this is my last night with you Hold me like I'm more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends 'Cause what if I never love again?

***

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough

Never be enough

***

I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me

I know that your love is gone

I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy

Don't tell me that your love is gone

That your love is gone

"Constellations" is for their long separation and the doubts that I'm sure plagued them both during it. Would they ever see each other again?

Part IV- S4, next 12 songs:

All of Me- John Legend

(Everything I do) I Do It For You- Bryan Adams

Iris- Natalie Taylor (City of Angels)

She Was Like A Bright Light- Hans Zimmer, Rupert Greyson-Williams (Winter’s Tale)

Noah's Last Letter- Aaron Zigman (The Notebook)

What’s In The Middle- the bird and the bee (Bones)

ivy- Taylor Swift

Footprints in the Sand- Leona Lewis

Remember Me (Lullaby)- Gael Garcia Bernal, Gabriella Flores (Coco)

On The Nature Of Daylight- Max Richter

My Heart Will Go On- Basil Jose (Titanic)

The Story- Sara Ramirez (Grey's Anatomy)

Commentary:

There were sooo many songs I wanted to include in part IV, but I controlled myself and ended up with this particular dozen.

"She Was Like A Bright Light" and "Noah’s Last Letter" are an instrumental double punch to the gut for Nick’s time in Gilead during episodes 4.07-4.09. The first one is meant for when he finds out June made it to Canada, and the 2nd for is for when he starts to gather info on Hannah to give to June.

"What’s in the Middle" and "ivy" are June’s POV of episodes 4.07-4.09.

"What's In The Middle" has more of an angry and confused vibe, and June was definitely both in episodes 7 and 8.

Losing your head is such a common theme

All your brains are falling out, falling out the open seams

Where is the heart, is the heart of the matter

I will empty out my skull of all this useless chatter

On the other hand, "ivy" has this haunted vibe, but there's also reverence and acceptance, which she begins to achieve in episode 9.

Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

The next three songs are of course all for their reunion in 4.09, and I couldn’t resist including the song that was actually played in the scene.

"The Story" draws the season to a close nicely, with June understanding that her current needs are different from what they used to be and that there’s someone who understands her completely (and it’s not Luke).

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you

Part V- Season 5 and Beyond, the last 6 songs

Secret Love Song- Little Mix, Jason Derulo

Burn With You- Lea Michele

The Bones- Maren Morris

Feels Like Home- Auli'i Carvalho, Keegan DeWitt

Love Will Find A Way- Piano Covers (Lion King II)

Like I'll Never Love You Again- Carrie Underwood

“Secret Love Song” is a more angsty tune about a love that’s still kept a secret like June and Nick’s love (as far as most people are concerned). Now that they’ve already made out in front of the man who raped and abused June and made Nick watch him do that, I want to believe they can let go of the secrecy in S5, at least when it comes to a few people.

I'm living for that day Someday Can I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that we could be like that Why can't we it be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that

***

“Bones” is about a relationship with a strong foundation, which IMO they do have. It will carry them in the future, too. They’re more into each other now than ever before and especially June is coming to terms with how strong that love is. They’ll weather any storm.

When the bones are good, the rest don't matter

Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter

Let it break 'cause you and I remain the same

When there ain't a crack in the foundation

Baby, I know any storm we're facing

Will blow right over while we stay put

The house don't fall when the bones are good

***

“Feels Like Home” is more hopeful. Their home is with each other and I hope that’s something that will be explored more in the future.

Take me, I'm ready

Go slow but go steady

To a place that we can call our own

I wanna know what feels like home

***

“Like I’ll Never Love You Again” is a good conclusion for the playlist. It’s hopeful and a testament to an epic love.

I wanna love you like the rain on a roof

Stronger than a bottle of a hundred ten proof

I wanna take love to places that love has never been

Yeah, I wanna love you like I'll never love you again

And I'll love you again

Oh, and again

[sophialikesthings]

Song-No Body,No Crime-Taylor Swift

Numb. the deprivation of feelings or emotions.

That's what I was standing in that field moments after I witnessed what happened.

"Come on, We should go." JJ rubbed my back.

"We don't have a car, dumbass." Kiara insulted him.

"We can hide out in the hanger." Pope pointed

We carefully scanned the room making sure nobody else was there.

I just went to a corner and curled myself up into a ball and sat there, questioning my sanity for still loving him.

"There goes the gold!" JJ looked up at the plane that just took off.

"Fuck!" Pope yelled, throwing something he found at the wall. He grabbed anything he could carry and threw it all, things were thrown all over, shattered glass carpeting the floor.

"I need to go see him." I got up.

"What? Demi are you insane?" JJ asked.

"I am because I still love him and I don't know how to stop." I broke down again.

"I'm scared that if I leave him, That will happen to me."

===

"Demi, I don't think it's a good time right now." Rose opened the door.

"Rose, I know what happened, and you and I both know he needs me right now. So please, let me see him."

"He is in the den." She let me inside.

"What are you doing here?" Ward asked as he vigorously washed his hands trying to get her blood off of them.

"I came to see Rafe, I- I know what happened Mr.Cameron, and I promise I won't tell a soul." I put on my fake face.

"So can I see him?"

"Yes, he is in the den." He pointed at the door.

I carefully opened the door and saw a distressed Rafe contemplating on the couch.

"D-Demi." he got up.

"I saw what happened, I wanted to say goodbye to Sarah and when I got there you shot her."

"I was protecting my father, I was protecting our future!" He paced.

"Calm down!" I pulled his arm towards me. "Rafe...you have done some of the most horrendous things to me and somehow I always go back to you, I don't know why? But I do."

"Don't say that. I do what I think will protect you." He hugged me.

"Mind if I come in?" Ward asked.

"I'll go." I was about to get up.

"No, no Demi stay," Rafe asked. "Is she alive?"

Ward shook his head causing Rafe to sink into me.

"What did you tell the cops? Are they coming here?"

"I told them John B did it." Ward walked over to his desk.

"Demi, I need you to take him up to his room, get him all cleaned up." He told me " take a shower change your clothes. If anybody asked you were working all day, doin' maintenance on the druthers."

"No, Rose knows I wasn't here."

"I will talk to Rose, okay?"

"Come on." I got up and took Rafes' hand.

===

"I was protecting him." Rafe continued to tell me.

"I know, can you take your shirt off, please you need to shower." I turned the water on.

"Will you join me?" He asked.

"Rafe."

"Please, I just don't want to be left alone, because If I am, I'm scared I might do something."

"Fine."

===

"I'm gonna go check in on Wheezie, I'll be back in a minute." I got up

"Hey, wheeze."

"Hey, did you come to ignore me too?" She asked looking up from her phone

"No, but I did come to hang out with you." I got a text.

JJ

I am sorry for nagging you about staying

with Rafe, I understand you are just trying to

keep your loved ones safe

Demi

Yeah, I was trying to keep you safe.

"Who are you texting?" Wheezie asked piercing over my shoulder.

"Huh? Oh, just Topper."

"Well, I'm tired, you can stay if you'd like, or you can go bang my brother." She nonchalantly said lying down.

"Whoa! What?" She caught me off guard.

"You know what I mean, you and my brother bang, like constantly."

"You know wheeze, sometimes I wish we didn't." I lied down next to her. "I mean, I feel like it adds unneeded pressure to our relationship."

"For what it's worth, you have really nice glute muscles." She made me laugh.

"I love you wheeze." I tossed my arm over her, hugging her.

"I love you too, you are like another cool sibling."

We both drifted to sleep.

===

"Do you hear that?" I got woken up by Wheezie.

"Huh?"

I heard Rafe in the other room muttering to himself. I got up and went to check on him, Wheezie behind me.

"Hey, What are you doin'?" I walked over to him, placing a kiss on his bicep where my face stood due to our height difference of almost afoot.

"Tossin' this crap." He threw a bunched-up pile of shirts into a worn-out backpack.

"Isn't this where John B was staying?" I questioned

"Yeah, well, I don't think he's gonna be by anytime soon to pick it up, so--"

"Why?" Wheezie interrogated.

"Did you say why?" He looked at her, confused.

"Didn't Dad tell you?"

"He doesn't tell me anything, so." She sighed, propping her head up on her hands.

"Um... so, John B... Killed Sheriff Peterkin." He acted sad.

"What?"

"Yeah." He tried to get her to believe him.

"Are you smiling right now? I'm not joking. Like, this isn't a game. I don't--"

Wheezie looked away as if she was bored of the story Rafe was telling her.

He slapped the bedpost almost hitting her face, causing both of us to wince out of fear.

"Hey, calm down." I pulled him back slightly.

"I don't know why you're smiling, okay? Look at me. I saw it with my own two eyes." He lied.

It hurt me, to know that I would have to lie to Wheezie. It made me sick just how easy Rafe could lie to anyone, doubts now filling my mind with everything he's ever said to me.

"He shot her, and then you know what he did?"

I snapped back into the conversation.

"He tried to shoot dad, but you know what? I stepped in and I stopped him, I saved Dad."

"Why would John B want to kill dad?" She questioned his story.

"Because um... he thinks dad killed his father."

My eyes widened as if Rafe heard the conversation I had with John B.

"Rafe, do you want to come over to my house, Taylor, Kelce, and Top will be there?" I tried to stop the conversation.

"I can't right now, I have to help my dad with the police reports." He kissed me, walking out of the room.

"Okay, well I'm headed home Wheeze, give me a call if you need me." I hugged her goodbye.

===

That Night

===

"I hate it. I'm in a toxic cycle I can't break free from." I groaned, dumping all my life issues on Taylor as usual.

"Welcome to being a Kook, Your parents stick you into toxic relationships, ask you to make babies, then dump your ass at a mansion and the cycle repeats." She took a swig of rum.

"Taylor, I love-" I got interrupted by the boys running past my room. I heard the laundry room door shut and Topper and Kelce forcefully holding it closed.

"What's going on? Who's in there?" I walked out into the hallway.

"Please just--just let me out." I heard John B.

"Are you two insane! Let him out!" I demanded, trying to get past them.

"Word on the street bro, you are worth 25k, dead or alive." Kelce shouted.

"Kelce, stop." Taylor asked, pulling him back so I could go up to the door, next to Topper.

"I'm gonna go get the cops, don't let him out." Taylor and Kelce walked away.

"John B, It's Topper." He started.

"Hey Top, It's John B." I could hear him panic.

"You gonna try to talk your way out?" Topper chuckled.

"Let him go, He's innocent." I tried to push him out of my way.

"Just cut the bull shit. Alright?" He ignored me.

"I didn't shoot the Sheriff, All right? Rafe did. Sarah was there. She saw the whole thing, Demi saw it too."

"Oh! It was Rafe! My bad." He rolled his eyes.

"Look Man, I know you don't believe me and honestly, I probably wouldn't believe myself either, but... I-- I get it, you hate me because of Sarah." He tried to talk to him.

"You knew we were boyfriend and girlfriend, right?"

I could hear the sirens in the distance as the tension built up.

"Let him go! Please." I started crying.

"And, um, I -- I got another question." he leaned against the door that was being held shut by a chair. "Did you fuck her."

"Topper!" I hit the back of his head, my strength not enough to make him flinch.

"Yes or no John B."

"Ok-- Uh yes." He said. "We did it...once. Okay? But don't use the f-word. That's kind of gross." He spoke trying to get Topper to understand him.

Suddenly we heard the police sirens from outside.

"Alright John B! It's Sheriff Thornton out here. We got you surrounded. We don't need anymore blood shed." My dad yelled into his megaphone

"Topper, Topper please, I am begging you to let him go." At this point I was hysterical, my eyes burnt from the many tears streaming down my face.

The sound of heavy footsteps got closer as they ran up the porch stairs.

"We're back here dad!" Topper yelled.

"Please!" I whispered.

"No mercy Dad." He took me outside with him.

"Damn it!" He slipped through the vents!" I heard my dad yell, easing my worry.

"Do not put your hands on me!" I screamed as Topper held me in front of him, pushing me outside.

"Demi! He is dangerous! I am protecting you, you are my little sister and I don't want you to get hurt."

"The only thing I need protecting from is this family! You make them out to be the villains when really it's you, and everybody else on this side of the island.

As everyone was spreading out searching for him Sarah rode up to me on her bike.

"I'm having everyone meet at the church. Be there in an hour, I think the others have a plan." She quietly whispered.

===

The Church Bell went off 3 times before I ran in there.

"What are you doing!" I stopped him.

"Demi, Sarah, I warned you about these pogues!" Topper held his hands up in defence.

"He's innocent." Sarah sobbed.

"Then who did it?" Topper asked.

"Rafe! Rafe shot Sheriff Peterkin, I saw him." I finally spoke up. I could feel my eyes starting to water again.

"What are you talking about?" he didn't believe me

"Sarah, we gotta go!" John B noticed all the police starting to gather outside.

"Sarah, You realize I'm the one that loves you." Topper Repeated, telling Sarah this many times before.

"I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry," She apologized "But this isn't about you."

"Hey we've gotta go." John B broke up their conversation.

"You go, I'll take care of him." I took my helpless blubbering brother into my arms

"Let me make it up to you." Topper laid out his plan, Sarah and I swapped clothes. Quickly,

"Y'all smell smoke?" I asked.

"Holy shit, go." Sarah looked down the ladder to see the bright light from the fire.

Topper and I headed out of the church with our hands in the air acting as if we were John B and Sarah.

"GET DOWN." The cops were yelling at us.

"Hol-Hold shoot, those are my kids." My dad commanded the others to put the guns down.

"Demitria and Topper, What the hell were you two thinking!?" He snarled.

"I- I don't know what happened dad, I'm sorry for causing trouble." Topper apologized "They went that way." I pointed in the opposite direction.

"Are you alright? Do you need a medic?" Topper asked me.

"I'm ok, I just burned my calf, that's all." I hissed as the wind blew causing my leg to sting.

"Demi! Dem, I- I didn't mean for this to happen!" Rafe ran over to me.

"Of course you did this!" I started limping away.

"Demi, I never meant to hurt you."

"How's that turning out?"

=== Ahhhhh late post but... The final chapter of part one is tomorrow and I am actually almost done with part two!

Feedback is appreciated!

Messages are always open!

Thankful for you all

also I need someone to help me pick an ending... so If you want to help me out just message me 😊

[bbyannabeth]

do you have any song recs? i need fresh meat lmao

i apologize for amount of taylor swift in here<3 and i'm not sure if you use spotify or not, but if you do, i put all these songs in a playlist for you<3 (if you don't, all the songs are under the keep reading!)

my tears ricochet dancing with our hands tied babe the very first night death by a thousand cuts cowboy like me long story short cornelia street better man don't you - all of the above by taylor swift <3

for real this time alright i miss you, i'm sorry feels like - gracie abrams

honey i'm not mad devil in me - halsey

happier than ever my future i love you lovely - billie eilish

animal easy angel baby plum fools talk me down - troye sivan

favorite crime - olivia rodrigo feel like shit - tate mcrae fingers crossed - lauren spencer-smith there's no way - lauv, julia michaels black hole - griff put a little love on me - niall horan heartbreak weather - niall horan heart won't let me - lany ribs - lorde livewire - oh wonder demons - hayley kiyoko best years - 5sos lover of mine - 5sos

[idmakeitbehave]

Just As It Was {S.R.} - a Playlist

series page

listen

As It Was ~ Hozier

And tell me if somehow some of it remained, how long you would wait for me?

You Were Good To Me ~ Jeremy Zucker, Chelsea Cutler

I know it's easier to run after everything I've done

The Night We Met ~ Lord Huron

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you

No Right To Love You ~ Rhys Lewis

Night falls, I’m wide awake wishing I could call you

Love Again ~ Cedric Gervais, Ali Tamposi

There's no light in this dark city, no rain to run for cover

When We Were Young ~ Adele

I've been by myself all night long, hoping you're someone I used to know

Poison & Wine ~ The Civil Wars

I don’t love you but I always will

Lost Without You ~ Freya Ridings

But you were the only safe haven that I've known

Ashes and Wine ~ A Fine Frenzy

Shut it out, I’ve got no claim on you now

Gone Away ~ Safetysuit

Tell me all the things that I’ll be missing here in this old life

All You Never Say ~ Birdy

Are you uncertain or just scared to drop your guard? Have you been broken? Are you afraid to show your heart?

Youth ~ Daughter

And if you're in love then you are the lucky one, ‘cause most of us are bitter over someone

Love Ridden ~ Fiona Apple

I want your warmth, but it will only make me colder when it's over

Falling ~ Harry Styles

What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

The Last Time ~ Taylor Swift, Gary Lightbody

You wear your best apology, but I was there to watch you leave

Love Again ~ Ta-ku

You know I’ll make it better if I can

Finish ~ NEL

Has time passed long enough for the game that we play?

New York ~ St. Vincent

You’re the only motherf*cker in the city who can handle me

1000 Times ~ Sara Bareilles

You can make me wait forever, push me away and tell me never

Space Song ~ Beach House

Were you ever lost? Was she ever found?

This is Me Trying ~ Taylor Swift

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back; I have a lot of regrets about that

Lover, Please Stay ~ Nothing but Thieves

I can see you, I can feel you slipping through my hands

Moonlight ~ Future Islands

Here’s our chance to make it, make this into something more

Run ~ Hozier

Rare is this love, keep it covered

Cardigan ~ Taylor Swift

And I knew you'd come back to me

Dust to Dust ~ The Civil Wars

Let me in the walls you've built around; we can light a match and burn them down

Orpheus ~ Sara Bareilles

Don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos; though I know it's blinding, there's a way out

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Shake It Off

Summary - Dean decided to teach the Reader how to drive.

Pairing - Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader (platonic)

Warning - Fluff, if you squint you can see angst and swearing

Word Count - 1.4k

Requested by @herfalsegod - Hello, hon! Can I request a fic for Dean x reader? She doesn't know how to drive, neither wants to learn-- she's more than glad with enjoying the ride. But after a difficult hunt that got Sam passed out and Dean too bruised to drive, he decides it's time to teach her. Cue reader almost hitting the car and Dean bein a drama queen™ and reader using the excuse of 'driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole' to put some Taylor Swift on

A/N - I am so sorry about posting this so later! I couldn't find the time to write at all until today. Anyways, I finally wrote it and I hope you like it. Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

“Hey boys, who wants to drive me over to the supermarket?” You looked at the brothers who were currently drowning under a pile of lore books.

“Drive yourself,” Dean said, digging down deep into his jeans pocket to retrieve his car keys before tossing it over to you.

“You know I can't drive,” you whined as you caught the keys before tossing them back to your boyfriend.

“You should learn to drive, Y/N,” Sam said, finally looking up from his laptop.

“Nope,” you said, popping the last syllable, “I have got two men in the household who are excellent drivers.”

“We are not your chauffeurs,” Dean deadpanned, making you roll your eyes. You walked up to your boyfriend and placed your left hand on his shoulder, gently massaging the knots on his shoulder. You leaned down to whisper in his ears, “Drive me to the supermarket and I'll owe you, big time. Maybe let you do all those things to me you have been wanting to do for days. How does that sound?”

Dean stared at you with wide eyes for a minute, probably going over the pros and cons in his head before jumping out of the chair and asking, “All those….things?” He swallowed hard.

“All of those. Even the one which you said last night,” you winked.

“Guys, I'm right here,” Sam gagged, “you know Dean, this is the sole reason Y/N will never learn to drive because you will do anything for sex.”

“Don't point fingers at me. I love my girlfriend and I love sex and you are also easily uh-manipulated by her,” Dean huffed, making you gasp.

“She helps me with research!” The younger Winchester defended, “unlike you.”

“Boys, boys, boys. Stop fightin’. Will ya? I don't want to learn driving because I enjoy riding shotgun and it's not like I will ever need to drive to save my life,” you said and stood there with your hands on your hip.

“You're a hunter. You never know what curve ball life will throw at you,” Sam said and you rolled your eyes in ignorance but who knew that these exact words of Sam Winchester would ring in your ears when you all try to leave the abandoned warehouse four days later.

“Sam? S-Sammy?” Dean croaked, trying to wake his unconscious brother, who was lying in the backseat.

“De,” you urged, slipping into the seat beside the driver's seat, “we gotta move. We have to take him back to the bunker as quickly as possible.”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” he winced as he got inside the car and you noticed that his right shoulder had a deep scratch by the werewolf’s claw on it.

“That looks bad Dean,” you said, worry etched on your face.

“I'll live. I gotta get my brother back to the bunker,” he said, throwing a concerned look at his brother's direction, “and you can't drive.”

You knew that Dean didn't mean to direct his frustration at you but it still stung. Your stubbornness was now making you all suffer. You heard your boyfriend groan as he tried to shift the gear of Baby.

“You're gonna learn how to drive,” Dean said sharply as he drove out of the place, “Nuh-uh. No more excuses.”

“But-” you pouted.

“Don't give me that face, Y/N/N. You're not getting out of this,” he raised his brow challengingly at you, making you ultimately surrender to his demand.

And Dean was a man of his word. Two days later, he was dragging you out to the garage while you whined at him to let you go but he was too stubborn this time. Even Sam was of no help as he kept looking at the scene unfolding in front of him with an amused expression on his face.

“Come on sweetheart, I know you don't wanna learn driving but you know it better than anyone after the last hunt that it's necessary for you to know how to drive,” Dean said as you two reached the garage, him finally releasing your hands but he stood there blocking the gate in case you decided to take off.

“Ugh,” you groaned finally giving up, “fine. Teach me how to drive, Sensei.”

Dean snorted at your choice of word, “Yeah, smartass, get in the car now.”

“I am learning to drive. That doesn't mean you're off duty. You still have to drive me to all the places. This is just for emergency purposes!” You warned.

“Yeah I know,” he rolled his eyes, “now, are we ready to learn, Y/N/N?”

But things went south quickly. Not twenty minutes into the driving lesson, you almost managed to mess Baby's front.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled as you barely managed to avoid the trees as you made it out of the garage, “stop swerving! You will crash!”

“I don't know how to stop!” You yelled back as the car swerved for the hundredth time and Dean leaned in to take control of the steering wheel.

“The brakes! Push the brakes!” He yelled again, making you jump. You pushed the brake pedal, the impala abruptly coming to a stop in the middle of the road. The sudden force threw you and Dean forward and you barely managed to not hit your head in the steering wheel.

Your boyfriend jumped out of the car, mumbling a bunch of swear words under his breath which you pretty sure were directed at you. You scrambled out of the car as well and saw Dean inspecting Baby.

“Oh Baby! You okay? Are you hurt? Baby I'm so sorry,” he cooed at the black beauty.

“Dean?” You called out, making him look up to you, “uh-driving lesson?”

“It's done!”

“What? You can't be serious! So what if I almost crashed your car? I'm still learning! And you said it yourself, knowing how to drive is important for a hunter!”

“Don't use my words on me! I told that before you almost crashed Baby-”

“Yes, exactly! Almost. I almost crashed her but I didn't,” you said.

“Fine, go back inside the car. We'll finish the lesson,” he rolled his eyes. You went inside the car and Dean followed you after he murmured a soft apology to Baby.

“Don't touch the radio,” he said, swatting your hands away. You pouted and deliberately touched it, switching the radio on making Dean growl in frustration and his frustration only increased as the radio started playing a Taylor Swift song.

“But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving. It's like I got this music in my mind. Saying, "It's gonna be alright,” you sang along loudly.

“Stop,” Dean groaned.

“Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. I shake it off, I shake it off,” you ignored Dean and kept on singing. He tried to change the station but this time you swatted his hands away, saying, “Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.”

“Son of a bitch! You're never driving again!” He said, burying his head into his hands. You started the engine, still grooving to the music making Dean look up at you. You finally made it back to the bunker in one piece, as your boyfriend successfully taught you the nitty-gritties of driving.

“How was the drive?” Sam asked as you both came down the stairs.

“Eventful,” you replied.

“She almost crashed Baby!” Dean exclaimed, making Sam laugh out loud.

Rolling your eyes at his words, you said, “Dude, be like Taylor. Shake it off!”

Feedback is highly appreciated!