#i keep typing and deleting tags
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liminal space of not being disabled enough to function at society standards vs not being abled enough to keep up
#fae speaketh#the only thing holding me down rn is legends za#everything else i have to add feels too heavy to put on main#i keep typing and deleting tags#whatever#oh edit i just scrolled down on my blog i didnt realize that post was there too#thats pure coincidence that one was queued ahdhdkkfm
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idon't know why it's previewing venom like that . I need to state i'm drawing with a trackpad
#venom#robo-ky#guilty gear#do i tag this. as robovenom. they're not even interacting#they'renot even in the same image#i just think it's important to keep them.in one spot What did she mean by that. That's not what I meant to type. I'm not deleting it#Alice please hit post we're all begging you#hi to ivory btw
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hhrrrnrnnrngng,r.ggrg,r.,gr,g,. s get pregnant get pregnant get pregnant get pregnant.. i need this man in his most pathetic state i need him dead i need him torn apart and thrown at a wall oogugHJGHJGHjhguughg the mental illness. i WILL get him pregnet. u put the two of us in a room and one of us is walking out pregnangt and its NOT gonna be me.
#banban#garten of banban#doodle#i am so normal about him#keep on typing out and deleting more ramblings about him in tags. you have no idea the effort of holding back.#“why banban” i wish i could answer that. he has just captivated me
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i haven't even read the new chapter of fox's tongue kirin's bone 2 yet but the fact that you've broken a countdown is already giving me a heart attack
I love everything about how you phrased that
#can it really be a Trust (Break)#if you're trusting me to break you?#Fox's Tongue and Kirin's Bone#the story where I keep typing tags and deleting them because you already know something ominous is happening you don't the hints#oh man it's a different reading experience for you folks that came over from my fanfic#can you even imagine those poor souls that don't suspect? can you?#in conclusion I love having chapters that count#such a fun structure to snap over my knee
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anyway favorite tfa moment (go grandpa go)
#it is possible im hyping this scene up too much in my head#however: the autobots in this show are shown to be war crime committing xenophobic fascists#who MAYBE won the original war via using life forms they created to be living bombs to destroy planets decepticons were on IIRC#and our crew of guys are the punished demoted soldiers who are manual labourers because they committed crimes like: draft dodging??#and this guy gets rewarded by the corrupt government system constantly despite being the WORST at everything because. duh.#thats what corrupt governing systems do. does it make you mad? good.#anyway i will stop and hope i dont have to type this out again cuz tumblr keeps deleting tags#the tf binge thoughts
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Hey guys.
I know that there’s all kinds of fun events coming up, screenings and signings and conventions and whatnot. They will involve large numbers of people in the same space. I accept this. It is happening.
Please wear a properly-fitted N95-or-better mask if you’re going.
Please mask up if you’re going, because covid is still out there, and I cannot risk bringing it into my house.
Please mask up if you’re going, because I can’t go. I have to very, very sharply limit my time in public, because every time I go out I am risking covid, and I cannot bring covid into my 100% high-risk household. That means I have to ask myself what I’m willing to potentially hospitalize my companion of 20 years for, or what I’m willing to potentially hospitalize myself for. And as long as covid is circulating freely, I can never stop asking that question.
I can’t join my fellow fans at the Good Omens early screening, or at SDCC, or anywhere, because almost nobody is masking. Almost nobody is being covid-conscious. Could you, just for these few events? Please? The more individual humans that do it, the more other people will see them doing it and perhaps follow suit. The more that people in general are willing to wear masks, the less likely I am to catch covid with every trip outside. I might be able to go to a con again, some day. I might be able to go watch that total solar eclipse coming up next year, the one we were already making plans for back in 2017 (I’m guessing we’ll just have to wait for the next one that swings by anywhere near to us, which will be in... let me check Wikipedia... 2044). I might be able to just... go out in public without it being a huge stressor or requiring tons of preparation, swing by a coffee shop just because I feel like it, maybe even have offline friends again. Have a professional cut my hair in a way that gives me good gender feels again. (Do you know, I’ve been ready to talk to my doctor about testosterone for almost two years now? But gender dysphoria won’t put me or my housemate in the emergency room. Vastly increasing the frequency of my visits literally to a place where sick people congregate might.)
I understand that the pandemic has been declared to be over, and that long covid is obviously only something that happens to someone else, and it’s okay, as long as you’re young and/or basically healthy it’s fine!! :) :) :) :)
I’m one of the weirdo sickies. As long as you’re having your fun togetherness times unmasked, I get no fun togetherness times at all.
If you’ve ever gotten even a tiny bit of joy from a story I’ve written, could you please just wear a properly-fitted N95-or-better mask when at one of these public events? As a personal favor to me? Because, yes, I know a handful of people wearing masks a thousand miles away doesn’t make an objectively measurable difference to me. Except it would make such an incredibly huge difference. To me. If for just one single day this summer, someone would put up with some inconvenience, just to show the world that they do still care about people like me.
(This post is me, as one person of a particular fan community, reaching out in an attempt to reach others in that community who are aware of my specific existence as a human being, and who could potentially want to do me a favor. If this breaks containment then no, random person who doesn’t know who I am and doesn’t care, I am not asking a single thing of you, other than that you accept that perhaps this interwebs posting is not for you. Because it’s not.)
#discourse stuff#i guess? i mean i kind of want everyone to read this but also i do like to keep everything not under that tag not unSoft#i had some very angry tags typed out but i deleted them all because they won't help anyway
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any1 else who almost totallly dropped nrb fandom after the whole thing feeling very🧍 rn
#i keep trying to make a post but im struggling to word !#taking adam at his word like#yeah he cheated and was a dick and wtvr#but it seems so. normal? just drama? within a group of ppl who know each other?#and the fact that it was made public and we were made to assume he was a predator#im feeling quite#idk how to word#bad#(genuinely have been typing out more tags and deleting them repeatedly)(i cannot phrase my thoughts)#like a guy was a dickhead sure but he was accused of being predatory?#(obv. responses may be incoming just rambling thoughts)#)
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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t
#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap#bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU#lol idk why my head is so bad today#the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it#i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do#oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse#sorry guys needed to rant#the inadequacy was strong today#something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like#i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but#my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m#missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids#who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me#for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry#that felt good actually#idk what came over me#imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags#sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh#okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is
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just letting you know if you're an artist and ive ever talked to you im shit scared of you btw because you're an artist
#i put my whole ass out on the line whenever i interact with one of you like im part of a bomb squad#im the squad my butt is not the bomb it's just me myself and my sheer terror of your drawing abilities#i converse like im catcalling out of a moving car “wow cute art!” but im not disempowering you it's the opposite ur sucking my soul#in a good way#sorry for saying sucking my soul im on mobile i cant delete it#if anyone sucks my spirit dick it will not be the artists around here#fuck i cant leave me in a room by myself otherwise i keep typing tags like im in a microphone feedback loop#the EEEEEEEEEE is getting stronger#artists i love you never stop creating#this is about 5 people btw#i love your art i love your art i love your art i love your art i love your art i love your art i lov#(#junkfeed
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Guys I’m sorry I’m posting so much Star Trek stuff I’m very rapidly becoming very deeply obsessed with it and idk why (I have autism and it’s ticking all the correct boxes si jes)
#why did I type si and then jes. yes in Spanish (don’t speak) and yes in Esperanto (barely speak) but for what reason#not deleting. my brain is like wet oatmeal rn and I’m too lazy to untype#love to type tho so I will keep adding tags
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My own design of knuckles and Shadow (without clothes) because I crave violence
#sth#shadow the hedgehog#yeah the joke that him and sonic are twins is hilarious#but I’d love him to just not be a hedgehog at all#everyone keeps calling him one but he isn’t so#that’s peak comedy#dudes an alien#I haven’t decided on outfits yet but even when I draw him canon the green blood and no beans applies#my design#idk what to put#this was only quick so it’s not perfect but it gets the point across#this is so messy the more I look at it the more mistakes I see but whatever why does it matter#shadows thin and slender#I’d love to make knuckles more bulky but I’d need to practice body types more#knuckles the echidna#idk why is tag deleted from the top#also i do see my spelling mistakes but i am dyslexic and do not care xx
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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing
#haunted ecosystem#this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3#like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art#but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good#im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked#but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how#i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical#and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it#that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun#once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off#more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest#for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr#and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp#it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.
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NOT okay right now im thinking abt pokemon leaving scars on their trainers + everyday, domestic problems.....
#this is abt my top gun au btw <3333 which will forever haunt me even though im less likely to write it everyday </3333#like.....getting thin scars from rowlet as a kid which have now all basically faded to time#(though the ones gained as a teen from dartrix can still be seen)#while in the other hand always having angry red scratches along both arms because hes always holding up rufflet who fights like no tomorrow#(believe me; its better to hold him up and take the damage than put him down and let rufflet pick a fight with someone)#OR like....getting electrical burns because elekid doesnt know how to control its discharge yet. and the scars that stay bc of that#(which tbh is an ash + pikachu thing i would love to see)#or how one accidental poison jab from toxicroak will leave you utterly sick for days#(like serious he should probably go to a hospital or smth) and toxi just has the biggest saddest puppy dog eyes in existence it feels so ba#(its fine this has happened before he'll be fine. probably)#bruisings on your shins bc pawmot punches your legs to grab your attention or to get smth it wants....#rooms always being like ten to twenty degrees colder (or even more) when he has his ice pokemon out for whatever reason...#the reverse of that with fire types..... ough...#having to BEG flygon not to fly rn bc it starts a sandstorm every fucking time and it does it anyway#(PLEASE i took you out of your ball to eat dinner why cant yiu behave this one time)#and then dragonair fixing it to be clear skies again.....the never ending cycle....#any trainer who have pokemon that start sandstorm needing a pair of safety goggles for when they battle#(maybe even bringing a spare just in case or--if theyre kind enough--for their opponent to wear so they can see too)#dont even get me started on mythical pokemon interacting with the tg characters.....#anyway tried to stay as vague as possible for the characters lolol#bergmite is just a lil guy who wants to be carried around like all the other small 'mons....i am so sorry sweetie you are over 200 pounds#you cannot be perched on your trainers shoulder like someone else's rufflet can#having ice burns bc froslass tried to freeze him.....#anyway. can you tell i love pokemon#sorry to anyone who sees this in the pokemon tag </333#delete later#i feel like im begging on my knees for someone to ask abt my au....but also if they did id die of embarrassment from answering it...#the pros and cons of having a dumb little au </3#sigh maybe one day i'll write a fic... (<-keeps saying it but has written nothing for it (yet))
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I think my least favorite thing that happens in fandom spaces is how overly familiar people act towards you. Like whenever I get a post over 200 notes I have people making jokes in the tags that aren't like outright distressing or gross or anything but that just. idk! are jokes I would only make with people I know. Like "fuck you!" or "oh this is awful" or whatever that's done in a joking tone but it's still weird. You don't know me like that
And it's not so much a problem over here because we are so insular as a community so even if I don't know you guys by name or if we don't follow each other I still recognize the person commenting on my stuff. enough to almost certainly recognize the joking tone instantly and for that familiarity there to be warranted. we're not friends but it's like, yeah! I know this person they've been here forever. It's comfortable.
But in larger spaces that casual familiarity is gone. I've literally never interacted with you before. It's like if you overheard a conversation on the street and just walked in and started joking around with them like you knew them. it's uncomfortable!! and like yes obviously I'm looking for interactions when I post and tag things that's the whole point, so it is inherently different than say a private conversation being intruded on but djakfoofjf just don't act like you know someone you've literally never engaged with at all before.
#root talks#vent#delete later#like it's not the same feeling as when people are just telling me I'm a dumbass or a piece of shit#Like what happened when I first started posting in this neck of the woods#It's a different kind of ''oh I hate this''#And it's not just clarity of intent here that's the issue#bc even though that absolutely factors into it if I got a tag that was like ''kys /j'' from a stranger I would hate that#we don't know each other!!#Just bc ur joking doesn't mean I'm going to be cool with that joke#and again tbc this doesn't happen on this blog#it keeps happening on my main tho and it's super fucking weird!#Post gets more than 100 notes? I am going to get weird comments#The anonymity online usually results in people not really reading this as a real person receiving ur messages#which I am not the first person to point that out#and I've also had this issue especially when I was younger!#It was something I had to grow out of and a social skill I had to develop#and even now I find myself constantly reminding myself a real human person is reading and responding back to me#a person with a job and cats. who is going to get groceries tomorrow or forgot to fill their car up with gas on their way home from work#like people with huge complex lives are typing to me and reading what I say so I have to think abt what I say!#Idk I'm just thinking abt this it's been a weird time
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god made me asexual because he knew I would be too powerful if I wasn't. I'm simply too hot to be allo. This is also why he gave me depression
#I will delete this in the morning#But seriously I am like. Incredibly attractive#I get distracted and sidetracked whenever I see a mirror#I will just stare at myself for up to 15 minutes#Can't imagine how bad it must be for other people#And everyone keeps having crushes on me like??#Specifically people I'm NOT into tho#Like. Is it too much to ask for a little emo tboy with a southern accent and neurodivergence who thinks im cute.#I know my type is specific but GOD DAMN WHY HAVENT I MET ANY YET#EVERYONE WHO WANTS ME IS EITHER CIS OR JUST NOT MY TYPE#It's a curse 😔 I am so attractive yet so asexual and so t4t and so gay#God cursed me with both The Blood and Specific Type. My life is so sad.#It sucks to be this hot guys#I'm soo sad#<- liar#I love watching people have crisises (crises?) When I wear crop tops and flared sweatpants#Anyways. Thanks for listening to my stream of consciousness.#I need a tag for this#stream of consciousness#Sunny doesn't shut up ever#Either of those work
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I remember after one episode when there was some fun gifsets and fics about Eddie & that paramedic from 133, lots of people were like "you just throw him with a random guy" and accusations of fetishization. And now it's queerphobic to not ship Buck with his new love interest, so make it make sense. I'm thrilled to finally have canon bi buck but ship and let ship also means that people have the right to not ship 🤷♀️
Ship and let ship!!! Ship only whoever sparks joy!
#i keep typing and deleting tags but im kinda done with whatever went on last night (while i was asleep)#but im just here to have fun and talk about eddie. which is what my blog has been about since day one in this fandom heehee
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