#i keep seeing shit about like federation workers??? and a thing called cucurucho????

[m0nochromem0use]

also i have been watching charlie’s qsmp vods because i said if condi got on i would watch it and i’m not a coward or a liar (even if he’s not actually in smh) and i have to ask guys what the fuck is the federation

[haloberry]

Watching Quackity’s vod, gotta say the fact mfer was struggling in character bc he canonically couldn’t write or read is extremely funny to me, especially when put in the scenario where the only form of communication was too read and write.

But again, love that all the workers seem to be really friendly with one another. Adds depth, ya’know?

But, it pops up more questions..

They all felt like fucking college floor mates that ended up working in the same company as one another. And how silly the B and C tier workers acted? Almost like younger co-workers in a sense, and it was really cute!

And their whole thing with ‘Fred’s’ feelings for Tubbo? Like, it genuinely was so nice to see them all care for, not only the health, but the feelings of each other! They acted professional when needed, but that was it! They were their own person outside of that!

But, tf was Fred’s deal with then? Are tiers of workers based on how much influence the federation has over them? Based on number of years worked for them?

It feels like Fred is the Castiel of the Federation workers. If you understand what I’m saying.

The Federation workers acting like regular people, but Fred being the weird one for being the only one not understanding/knowing of human emotion when clearly the environment shown differently??

Also, I genuinely was getting second hand embarrassment from the acting. Like Quackity was choosing every wrong answer on a true or false quiz type embarrassing. (Even when that happens to me, I mask pretty quickly so it was making me even more embarrassed that bro was not adapting to the environment.)

Ughhh, but why were they calling Cucurucho Cucurucho? Wasn’t it mentioned before that they didn’t know he was called that? I thought they only knew him as the Census Bureau? Or, was Fred the only bitch that didn’t keep up with Island news??

All this shit just made me question Fred’s character like??? It genuinely feels like he’s the Castiel of the Federation workers… where all the others had their own personalities outside of their roles while Fred is like “my role is my personality” even though proof shows he was pretty chill just more workaholic in the sense.

Idk bro, I’m just— idk like Fred is he’s own person but didn’t know that that’s what being human is? If it wasn’t clear, I’m talking about Fred Fred not q!Quackity’s abysmal role play as Fred.

[northern-loner]

also because the poll you posted made me think of this, have a random headcanon of mine about the Federation and the Workers:

so like. idk why but the Cucuruchos (as i call them) give off the vibes of they aren't machines, but they also aren't anything..."normal," either. they're like eldritch entities but Not. (see: they can't seem to be harmed for some reason, they can fucking teleport, The Vibes, Man, they can like. summon items, right? that's a thing right or am i remembering that wrong. either way you get the point) they aren't actually anthropomorphic bears; that's just the form they've taken. like, my designs for them are that they look like big teddy bears with speakers on their chests and lil bowties. it's more like a weird...costume? skin? idk but like It Conceals The Horrors.

along with this, i envision the Workers are Actual anthropomorphic white bears, and the reason they appear to not have faces is because they're forced to wear blank masks on the top halves of their faces (nose-up).

so here's the actual headcanon:

when The Federation came the Island to basically take it over, the Cucuruchos were either A) not disguised at all, and it understandably freaked the Workers the hell out (keep in mind The Horrors), or B) they were disguised, but whatever the disguise was originally, it didn't put the Workers at ease even remotely. so they were asked to choose another form, one that might make the locals a little more...comfortable.

and what better way, in the Cucuruchos' eyes, than attempting to look like them?

so yeah. quite literally the only reason they don't appear as like Actual Eldritch Horrors is because they (poorly) disguised themselves as White Teddy Bears in order to "fit in" with the Workers. for the record, it doesn't freak them out anymore, but it still makes them uneasy (think of like. a human encountering a Fae creature that's trying to appear human, and that's the Workers with Cucurucho and Osito).

and another Workers headcanon: they basically speak the Animal Crossing language, and that's why they need to write in books to communicate with the Players; they can understand them just fine, but their vocal chords aren't really made to be able to make Human Voice Sounds.

anyway, that is all. thanks for coming to my Ted Talk-

Have you ever seen Poppy Playtime? I always thought of the workers & Cucurucho's as being like the creatures in that game. Their deal is that they're live sentient creatures built from the bodies of Playtime Co. employees and orphans from the company's fake adoption program(which is a whole other thing. believe it or not, Poppy Playtime actually has some of the best mascot horror lore that I've seen).

The plan was that the company was on a decline so they decided to make their own employees based off of their toy line to fill out the workforce and reduce costs. But in doing so, the company created literal animals with their own thoughts & instincts that they couldn't actually control. A part of that was them being vulnerable to hunger, and when you have a whole building full of ppl both who's work has turned you into a monster and who is quite literally fresh meat, you can probably guess how that goes.

That's what I think the Federation did for their employees, if only better than Playtime Co.. They either turned already living people into these creatures that exist purely to serve them, or genetically grew them from scratch. This also works bc we see traditional employee things like water coolers or coffee machines in their spaces, right? We also see them very clearly having their own thoughts and emotions towards nearly everything they experience later on in the story, they're obviously not mindless.

Yeah, that's my random babble.

I do think them speaking Animal Crossing is hilarious in context. Imagine being q!Cellbit or some shit trying to spy on them with a recorder & all you get is *waababaaakkakakawabababaabaa*.