#i keep losing the link to this haha

[berryblu-soda]

Secret second dashboard time!

[lesliemeyers]

dinner plans

[skimmeh]

I'm going to just make this post here, for the questions people keep asking me haha (/nm)

What program do you use to draw?

I use procrete to draw digitally currently

What program do you use to animate?

Oh boy! I don't animate much, but I use Flipaclip!!! And I'd like to use procrete or procrete dreams but my tablet literally cannot handle it haha

What brushes do you use?

The main brush set I use is this one:!!! It's really great but it does cost money.

So if you'd like a similar brush set but for free, I'd recommend theses!!! (I used to use them for a while!!)

What canvas size do you use?

I don't know- I don't usually plan to have a specific image size when drawing but they tend to be average 900×700 pix size .which I have no idea is a good size to have you drawing..erhhhh *shrugs*

What colour palette do you use?

I don't use colour palettes, I just pick colours I think look nice, and sometimes play around with layer settings. It would be cool if there was a specific palette I took from, because colouring can be a headache for me. But I usually guess what colours I use! :D

[fragmentedblade]

Not to be a jingfu on main, but it's so cute that Jing Yuan thought of Fu Xuan with those jelly beans

[soyoursoulisgreen]

3, 4, 19, 20!

3. What ideas come from when you were little

I have two OCs that have really stood the test of time: Akane and Kin - though their names have changed over time haha ♪ They were the first ever queer couple I made, long long loooong before I was out even to myself and shock among shocks, they're angels lol ♥ I remember I even wrote a short story about them from like - middle school probably?? as part of an assignment haha. They've been with me for a loooong time, and I'm still very fond of them 💕

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

GLaDOS is so beautiful and I am so bad at drawing machine parts jfdklsasdf. I'm determined to draw her from both games now tho! Her design in Portal 1 is so weird!! <3

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

Plushies, no contest. Drawings the seams and darts and stitches and wear and fluff and fabric vs. fur I just ugh it's all so satisfying! The way the cloth folds over itself or stands firm on its own over well-stuffed filling! I love plushies!! Funny enough, I rarely use them as props tho haha - that's usually things like books, cups, pencils, etc.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

I haven't heard the complaint in earnest in a while, just in a jokey fashion, but I really really enjoy drawing hands :) Hand expressions are so fun to me! They're just as expressive as faces - especially masked characters haha - and they're so versatile! Come in so many shapes, some hard, some rubberhose wiggly, some sharp and Shaped, but they still all emote similarly. Even just slight position changing can change the temperature of how it reads! It's a challenge for sure but it's just so satisfying >:3c

[a-cyclepath]

One piece men | Twitter links+ Scenarios | ⚠️ MDNI ⚠️

‼️ Links are in the names. Fem reader. Ace, Zoro, Luffy, Eustass ‼️

[ Size diff, twit links, fem recieving, oral, fingering, mating press, sex sex sex ]

Short x reader scenarios written with each link !

Ace

Ace can't stop himself. He promised himself he'd only come home and cuddle you since it'd be late by the time he got back from his days travels to your home island, but he lied to himself. Losing his composure the moment he saw you and kissing you after a quick "I'm back". His impatient hands slides your shorts barley down and your underwear to the side before he's practically sucking on your lips and tongue while he's caressing your heat, groaning in-between kisses as you prop your legs up, trembling from his fingers warm from his journey.

"missed you so much. Missed you a lot. So so much." He mumbled as his fingers slid into you, beginning to finger you to bring you to your orgasm as you moaned and body jolted. He placed his hat on you before smirking. "Keep that on while we go at it."

Luffy

"Wow baby these are pretty!" Luffy exclaimed happily at the sight of your bouncing tits, moving his hands to casually grip them as if he wasn't right in this moment drilling hard and fast into you. He moved his hands to your ankles, grunting as he folded you into a press and put his forehead to yours, grinning as he somehow went even faster and harder. All the while you're moaning in bliss at your happy go lucky boyfriend happily getting lucky in your drooling, gushing heat. Your eyes roll back slightly before you look up at Luffy as he kisses your forehead while he's grinding inside you, your hand resting on his abdomen as you can barley get a moan in before throwing your head back and arching your back while moaning loudly, crashing into your orgasm.

"hng..~ Another one? That's like..the fourth one tonight haha!"

Zoro

Zoro was exchausted. Mostly, exchausted from a day of doing nothing but taking naps around your farm, so he found his way to your room and lounged back on your bed, arms behind his head. You pester him, try flirting, but he shakes his head with his eyes closed. "Nah. I'm gonna rest my eyes."

Well, then you'll find compromise.

Shimmying your boots off, then your jeans, sliding your underwear to the side, you crawl next to him, giving him those big begging eyes.

Zoro almost immiditaely caves, glancing at your ass before smirking. "I suppose I could use a midnight snack." He gestured at the end of his sentence with a flick of his wrist towards his face.

And that's how you ended up here, on his mouth drinking you in hungrily, his hands on your hips as you practically hump his tongue while moaning, her mind long since hazy the moment his tongue touched your folds, clenching your teeth as your eyes roll back everytime his tongue presses into you and his lips attach to give a kiss and suck, slurping, a sloppy eater.

"Tasty.."

Eustass

[ size diff warning ]

It's not really hard for anyone in your immidiate circle to see that Eustass might be more than a bit bigger than you. Everyone wonders how it works out between you two, some even sort of laughing when he squats down or has to lean down to kiss you

But his size goes beyond more than just kisses.

Eustass groaned, having you face down ass up in his quarters as his large hand gripped your hip, grinning smugly as he looked at the dumbed out drooling look on your face from only taking less than half of his length, Esutass cocking his head as he stared down at you in a lustful daze. " You're not going dumb from only taking a few inches of me are ya, sweetheart?" Eustass muttered before wiping his mouth of drool and shoving all into you at once, making you yelp in the best way possible before moaning as your eyes roll back. Eustass mumbled about how short you were to himself before beginning his fast quick pace, pounding over and over into you as he threw his head back, smug grin on his face all the while he groans. " Yeah yeah...love you..love you the way you are.."

[proxycrit]

I love your au!!! I love how the hylian duo look like gremlins, I LOVE the expressions and sass constantly and the changes to the lore, the worldbuilding and also the emotions (OUCH). I love their relationship with purah and each other and the new champions. I love the depth you gave Yona and her relationship with Sidon and Mipha. I love how link feels comfortable talking to sidon in addition to sign, I don't know if he does that with anyone else but Zelda unless its absolutely necessary (eg: just launched out a cannon and is paragliding down, so hands are busy) (side note: i love how much of an adrenalin junky/gremlin he is!!)

I do got a few questions! Will the pair get the sheikah slate again (so say link has the slate and zelda the pad), and can both slates do the warping and item storage (food, ingredients, armor, weapons, etc) (if so: no WONDER link was so upset! His collection!)

Does link have access to the ultrahand abilities (ik you said not The ultrahand, but what about fuse or ascend or rewind etc?) Where is the mastersword??

Does Link still have the champions' abilities, or did he lose those when their spirits moved on at the end of botw?

I know these are a lot of questions but I can't stop thinking about it!! The last few updates sent me back rereading the whole au and now its just vibrating in my head and giving me no piece

This is long and rambly, just know I am very much enjoying this au! Its silly and fun and touching and cute. Thank you for working on it!!

Oo some notes (also ty for circling my au haha im glad other people fixate like i do)

(Prewarning— i did not finish totk despite putting triple hours in it, so a lot of this story is being written while playing, though i know the big broad strokes thanks to cultural osmosis and video essays. A lot of Familiar Familiar builds from my playthrough with BOTW over TOTK, so the sheikah influence is significantly stronger and I will always choose botw characterization over totk characterization as a result.)

That aside

1. Sheikah slate’s dead. Rest in pieces, link’s rare collectable korok poop. Purah’s extracting as much data as she can to put on the purah pad but you can see the dread in her eyes whenever she has to tell link resurrection is not possible.

2. No idea about the zonai arm powers yet— im thinking about ascend, but the longer i go through this story the less likely ill hand it to him just due to immersion breakage. He and zelda will be getting sheikah gadgets from purah though! Maybe ill have a scene of him wandering through the sky island shrines, but without zelda warning rauru he and sonia wouldnt have prepared anything for the hero of the future. (But i DO love ascension and fuse. Lowkey dislike the building mechanics from a concept art pov because the green glue makes me want to cry, but it’s FINE i GUESS)

2b. Master sword’s chilling in korok forest. Link put it back in this au because of Reasons (part of his and zelda’s characterization in this au is to discard their past roles and embrace the present, not as knight and princess but as hero and researcher. They both have to face the reality those roles aren’t dead, but it’s a work in progress. I may also never address it. This “one off hehe lemme draw some guys” idea quickly spiraled into a web comic series so apologies for the vagueness, because i too am watching them adventure with dread and awe and i don’t know where they’ll go with it. They literally write themselves.

3. Rip champions, their ghosts are Gone (but their influence remains. You go mipha, keep haunting the narrative girl, i love you)

I know that some of these story notes don’t quite match up to what totk states is stone cold canon, but that’s the joy of fan work! Anyways sorry for folks who i have NOT answered asks of— i have a lot of them and I’m much better at the drawing and writing part then the socialization aspect (please feel free to peak in to my zoo enclosure ever so often though. I need the enrichment)

[intotheelliwoods]

Alright gang, heres Avocado Toast! :) The Steven Universe style fusion between Sprout and Poptart!

All assorted art and asks and posts related to them will be under the tag #freshavocado <- <-

Here is a bunch of notes, some have links to related art:

-First and foremost, the fusion is the literal embodiment of self love. It is going to be super hard to catch them without a smile!

-The initial fusion happened by complete accident! Poptart joined Sprout for the night for insomnia mixed with feeling cuddly reasons. In the morning they woke up fused haha!

-Sprout didnt tell anything to poptart about his fusion with Big Leo and that it was possible for them to do the same, it was after their initial first accidental fusion that he opened up more about the concept and his experience

-You can often find Toast hugging themselves and fidgeting with their hands! A related thing to note is that it takes the fusion a while to learn how to use two arms on the same side without bonking them into eachother, and also takes a while to learn how to not fall off balance with so much arm weight on one side without being on the other!

-Clothes are not part of the fusion, when they unfuse the result is either Poptart or Sprout in some VERY oversized clothes haha

-The fusion between Big Leo and Sprout is the same fusion! Same personality! But minus the 'Toast' part of the name, back then the fusion was just named Avocado!

-Related to what is above, there is a thought in the back of the fusions mind thinking that they would never get to exist again, up until Poptart showed up that is allowing them to exist once more, and they cannot thank Poptart enough for that

-The first time Big Leo and Sprout fused (Avocado) was different than Sprout and Poptarts (Toast) first time fused. With Avocado, they fused the same way Poptart and Sprout did (cuddles) but this never happened before, the fusion panicked instead. However the fusion was too strong and stable to unfuse. Big Leo and Sprout didnt know how to even unfuse after all! Anyways they spend the whole day fused and trying to hide themselves from the family while also figuring out how to move with the new body haha

-Toast is, hilariously enough obsessed with Sprout and Poptart and loves to see pictures and hear stories of them, some part of the fusion wishes it was possible for them to meet the Leos they are composed of

-Sometimes when Sprout is having a really bad chronic pain day, Poptart offers to fuse with him as a way to 'share the pain' since Toast has twice the amount of pain tolerance, and can handle the pain way better than Sprout can

-Similar to whats above, at some point both Sprout and Poptart become reliant on Toast to fight for them in physical battles. Sprout doesnt want to fight, it hurts, and he hurts even after the fight, but Toast can fight for him pain free. Poptart is tired of trying to learn a new fighting technique and is often upset he is not as strong as he used to be, but Toast is strong and knows how to fight.

-lmao they also become reliant on Toast to do chores

-What Sprout and Poptart remember doing fused depends on how emotional and stable the fusion was

-An amazing idea thanks to @dianagj-art that I am in love with is that Poptart/Sprout and Toast often pre record videos and write notes to eachother to say hello in the only way they really can. Toast loves to see and understand who they are composed of and whos love they represent. While Sprout and Poptart love to see who they can become

Crossover notes with @dianagj-art:

-The initial time they fuse and form Toast, Sprout is so happy he gets to feel what it is like again. He missed the feeling. The fusion is super fun and cheerful at first, but with time Poptart gets tired and wants to stop. While Sprout insists they keep staying together because he doesnt want to lose the feeling again. Due to this the fusion slowly becomes more and more loopy and unresponsive throughout the day and zones out frequently. Eventually Oneion asks whats wrong before realizing what is going on inside their head, and is the outside trigger to get Sprout to finally let go.

-Out of everyone else, Toast has the best chance of getting on One-Ones good side out of the excitement of another Leo fusion like them. Unfortunately in Toasts attempts to befriend One-One through some sparring, it does not go well....

-Toast is a perch for One and Oneion... do you understand.....

[lucysarah-c]

Mounting Spring Ch.7

Summary: Paradis has opened its doors to the world, and the Rumbling has not yet occurred. The military board insists, "We need more Ackermans!" to avoid ruining Mikasa's life. Levi agrees. Arranged marriage, explicit consent, Omegaverse. Alpha! Levi x Omega! Y/N. Mentions of underage marriage but it doesn't happen, the reader is over 21. Age gap but they are both adults. (I would say enemys to lover but they don't even know eachother to be enemys lol.)

Author note: I've had this idea for so long… Omegaverse is my guilty pleasure, and I decided to treat myself with it.

From the creator of "Not in season?" I bring to you "Mounting Spring" lmao haha sorry it's just that my first omegaverse was rather a success… so I decided to do another.

Masterlist to the previous parts!

Ao3 link in case you prefer to read there!

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Levi whispered, though his lips were already on her neck, sucking softly. He inhaled deeply, pinning her against the wall. “You smell too good.” 

The girl chuckled, unfazed. “It’s not me. It’s my roommate. She's the one in heat—her stink stuck to me." 

It was intoxicating, mind-blowing. Levi felt like he was losing himself. Her hand brushed his face, soft as velvet, and for a moment, it seemed too perfect. His brain spun, a haze of imagined pheromones clouding his senses. The omega in his arms had to be the one in heat, right? It all felt too real. 

What...?  

When he raised his head, shaking off the fog, he realized the warmth he’d buried his face into wasn’t her neck—it was his own folded arms on his desk. He squinted against the blur of exhaustion. 

“Meow.”  

His foggy gaze landed on a cold, unceremonious wet nose poking his face. 

Levi groaned, turning his head away. "Not now," he muttered, half-heartedly swiping at the persistent feline. But the cat wasn’t one to take a hint. It resumed its soft, clawless pats against his cheek. 

"Go away," Levi grumbled, already knowing resistance was futile. Burying his face deeper into his arms, determined to stay asleep, though he knew it was pointless. Levi groaned, swatting at the feline. The animal, unbothered, hopped down from the desk, only to start scratching at the window with maddening insistence. 

The sharp sound made Levi sit up instantly. “What?” he hissed, trying to keep his voice low so as not to wake the other person sleeping nearby.  

He glared at the white cat, which now wound itself around his legs, purring and drawing lazy figure-eights. 

Levi stared at the animal like it had personally offended him. "What do you want?" He sighed, scratching his undercut, his hair a mess from sleeping at the desk. "Go back to sleep with your owner." If the damn thing responded with words, he swore he’d lose his mind.  

Eventually, he stood, running a hand through his messy undercut. The cat seemed pleased, trotting around the room and glancing back to ensure it was being followed.  

“Your food bowl?” Levi guessed, following reluctantly. “I filled it last night.”  

“Meow!”  

“It has food!” Levi snapped, shaking the bowl to demonstrate. The kibble rattled against the bottom, spreading out enough to cover the previous patch of emptiness in the centre. The cat dove in as if the food had magically appeared. Levi blinked. "...You’re actually dumb." 

Hands on his hips, he watched the cat eat for a moment, his tired gaze drifting toward its fluffy, oversized frame. “You know,” he muttered, “when she said she 'kitty,' I wasn’t expecting a fat lump like you.” 

The cat ignored the insult, contentedly crunching away.  

Levi, on the other hand, felt personally attacked. His good dream was ruined, and exhaustion weighed heavily on him. Taking a few quiet steps to the bedroom door, he peeked in on Y/N. She was dead asleep—mouth open, arms sprawled out, chest rising and falling slowly. 

“Tch.” Levi scowled. “You’re the one who’s supposed to be waking up, not me.” 

Defeated, he turned toward the bathroom, muttering under his breath. As he pushed the door shut behind him, a loud, offended yowl made him freeze.  

“Shit,” Levi muttered, reopening the door to find the cat squeezing through the gap. 

“No. Out,” he ordered, pointing toward the door like the cat was a misbehaving soldier. The animal, tail held high and proud, sauntered inside as if it owned the place.  

"Listen," Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. "I’m going to take a shit, and you’re not invited."  

The cat stared at him, unmoved. “Great. You’re as stubborn as your owner.” 

Scooping up the cat, he carried it out of the bathroom and shut the door firmly behind him. 

But peace was short-lived. 

Scratch, scratch, scratch. 

"For fuck’s sake," Levi growled through clenched teeth, yanking the door open again. The cat waltzed back in triumphantly, jumping onto the sink and leaving tiny paw prints across the surface. 

Minutes later, Levi sat on the toilet, glaring at the smug furball perched nearby. "You’re going to ruin my doors," he whispered. The cat tilted its head, feigning innocence. "I’m warning you, little shit. I brought you here. I can take you back." 

— 

“Levi, they’re about—”  

Hange stopped mid-sentence, staring at the door in shock as Levi opened it. He stood there, not fully dressed, with a white cat perched on his shoulder like some smug, oversized parrot. "What do you want?"  

Hange grinned, trying not to laugh. "If someone told me a month ago I’d see you married and... rocking a cat, I’d have said they were crazy." 

Levi grunted. “He demands to be picked up.”  

Hange raised an eyebrow. “Demands?”  

“It’s shocking how persistent this little shit is,” Levi’s expression was deadpan as the cat headbutted him affectionately, purring and kneading at his shoulder. “I’ve seen Titans less annoying.” 

Hange chuckled, reaching out to pet the fluffy troublemaker. “Aw, he likes you.”  

“Yeah, well, I don’t like him.”  

“Sure you don’t.” 

Hange’s grin widened. “Anyway, what’s taking so long? We should get going.”  

"I need to talk to Y/N before we head out. Don’t wait for me—I’ll catch up." 

Hange’s expression turned sympathetic, though they hid it behind a crooked smile. “She didn’t wake up?”  

"Heavy sleeper," Levi muttered, glancing toward the bedroom. "Apparently." 

Levi sighed, sinking into his chair as the cat curled up on the seat beside him, stretching luxuriously like it owned the place. He rested his elbow on the table, drumming his fingers against the surface. His sharp eyes flicked to the bedroom door, where a narrow crack revealed her silhouette shifting slightly in sleep. 

The quiet was suffocating. The ticking clock seemed louder with every second, a steady reminder of the time slipping away. He’d hoped she’d wake on her own, but clearly, that wasn’t going to happen. 

Pushing himself up, Levi padded silently back into the bedroom. He leaned over her sleeping form, nudging her shoulder gently. "Y/N, wake up." 

She groaned in response, pulling the blanket over her head like a shield against his persistence. 

"Come on," Levi tried again, his voice soft but insistent. "Wake up. Have breakfast with me." 

She mumbled something incoherent, her words muffled by the blanket. 

"Don’t make me drag you out of bed," Levi warned, his patience thinning. 

Finally, she grunted, peeking one bleary eye out from under the covers. "What’s with you tonight?" she muttered, her voice hoarse from sleep. "What time is it?" 

"6:02," Levi replied flatly. 

At that, Y/N turned to glare over her shoulder, her expression dripping with disdain. "Let me sleep," she hissed before burying herself back under the blanket. 

Levi stood there for a moment, debating whether to let her win this round. But no—he wasn’t leaving without talking to her. He nudged her shoulder again, and after several more minutes of coaxing (and a few muttered curses from her), she finally shuffled into his office. 

Now she sat at the table, a steaming cup of tea before her and a plate of white milk bread that looked barely touched. She slumped forward, her chin nearly resting on the table, her eyes half-lidded and unfocused. 

Levi sipped his own tea, watching her with a mix of amusement and exasperation. "You went to bed late last night?" he asked, genuinely surprised at her zombie-like state. 

"No," she mumbled, blinking slowly as if even that required too much effort. 

"You sleep a lot," Levi commented, his tone blunt. 

Her head lifted just enough for her to shoot him a withering side-eye. "Not my fault you can’t," she retorted, her voice edged with grogginess. "And it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do, locked up in here." 

Levi raised an eyebrow at her tone, but he didn’t immediately snap back. He understood the frustration simmering beneath her words, though he wasn’t the type to coddle. ‘Deep breath,’ he reminded himself. Gently, he pushed her milk tea closer to her. “Drink this. Wake up a little so we can talk.” 

Y/N didn’t respond, her head dipping as if she were about to fall asleep right there at the table. She reached for her tea, her movements sluggish and uncoordinated. "Can’t we, like, talk at three in the afternoon?" she muttered, shooting him a bleary side-eye before taking a small sip. 

The silence that followed was broken only by the soft purring of the cat, which had moved to sprawl across her lap, its paws lazily kneading the fabric of her dress. 

“You’ll have plenty of time to sleep when I’m gone,” Levi finally said, breaking the quiet. His tone was even, though careful, like he was trying to tread lightly. “I’m leaving for the day. Maybe I won’t be back until tomorrow morning. There are important meetings here—military board and investors.” 

“Alright, have a nice day,” she replied flatly, almost like a broken record. She paused, then added, “What are the meetings about?” 

"Work stuff," Levi replied curtly. "Nothing that concerns you." 

Y/N glanced at him but didn’t press further, though her silence spoke volumes. Her gaze lingered, her thoughts unspoken but clear enough: ‘So, you’re one of those husbands.’ 

Levi, meanwhile, leaned back in his chair, one arm resting on its back, his legs crossed. His free hand tapped against his teacup, the steady rhythm betraying his rare anxiety. His jaw tightened as he hesitated. He wasn’t good at this. —conversations meant to bridge gaps or soften rough edges. ‘Let’s just... be honest and work from there,’ he told himself. 

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you since last time,” he began, his voice firm but steady. “You shut yourself in your room after that, and then I had to leave for the Capital. I don’t want to keep dragging this out.” He paused, setting the stage for what he knew would be a difficult conversation. 

"I’m—" she started, but Levi cut her off with a sharp, commanding tone. "No. I’m speaking." 

Her lips pressed into a thin line, her annoyance evident, but she let him continue. 

“I didn’t know about the engagement,” Levi continued, his tone unwavering. “I had no intention of calling it off once I found out, but I was dragged into this just as much as you were. This wasn’t my choice either.” 

"It’s hard to explain, and honestly, I don’t completely understand it myself," he admitted. "But there’s another girl—someone from the same family line as me. Our families are considered... special. Stronger than most. That’s what the government cares about. And they want more of us. You know what I mean." 

Y/N’s cheeks flushed faintly as she pieced together the implications. 

“It was either her or me,” he explained. “She’s too young. And, honestly… I’ve lived long enough. So, I accepted.” 

An awkward silence filled the room. Levi searched for the right words to conclude, while Y/N seemed lost in her own thoughts. Her earlier grogginess had faded entirely, replaced by a sharp awareness that made the moment feel heavier. 

“What I’m trying to say,” Levi added, his tone quieter now, “is that I never intended to get married. It wasn’t in my plans. You didn’t want this either. But we’re stuck together, so we might as well try to make it work. Alright?” 

Her gaze lifted to meet his, her eyes no longer bleary with sleep but sharp and reflective. Levi held his breath, waiting for her response. He half-expected her to come back with some snarky comment or maybe even a spark of optimism. 

Instead, she asked, “Why did you choose me?” 

Levi exhaled, his honesty both a curse and a blessing. “You were the oldest,” he said simply, his words stripped of any pretense. 

— 

‘What the fuck did I say now?’ Levi wondered, his irritation mixing with guilt. ‘I was honest so we could work from scratch, at least have a solid base if we end up with a couple of brats in the near future.’ But his words had clearly landed harder than he intended. Her hopeless expression stuck with him. ‘I’ve seen cadets about to die on Wall Maria with more hope in their eyes than she had just now.’ 

“Oi, earth to Levi,” Hange waved a hand in front of his face, snapping him back to the present. “Hey, shorty, I need you here.”  

Levi blinked and refocused, realizing he had zoned out during the endless meeting. The large wooden table in front of him was covered with maps of the island, lines marking train systems, new coastal formations, and areas for expansion. Blueprints, photographs, and important dates were scattered among stacks of documents. 

"I’m just tired," Levi lied, his voice clipped. 

Hange didn’t buy it for a second. "If you’re worried about your wife, don’t. You locked that door." 

“I’m letting her go out tomorrow if she wants,” Levi said offhandedly. “Her post-heat is over, and it’s been nearly three weeks. Summer’s around the corner, and this office is starting to feel like a goddamn oven. I can’t keep the windows shut forever. Almost all the alphas have already gone through their ruts.”  

Hange gave him a quizzical look. “You sure?”  

Levi shrugged, his indifference hiding his uncertainty. “I’m not sure about anything anymore.”  

But the weight of those words wasn’t about his sudden marital status. His eyes wandered to Zeke’s letters, filled with orders. Across the table were Kiyomi’s detailed instructions, blueprints for expansion, photos of progress, and debates among the military board about whether Historia should have a child. Levi’s jaw tightened. He pushed his chair back, rising with deliberate movements.  

He approached his squad, who were enjoying their meal break at a smaller table nearby.  

“Oi, listen up, brats,” Levi called out, his tone sharp enough to cut through the chatter. But as he looked at them, his brow furrowed. ‘Each day I’ve gotta look up more. For fuck’s sake, how much taller are these kids gonna get?’ 

Sasha beamed, food halfway to her mouth. “Did you have dinner, Captain? This is amazing!” 

Levi allowed the smallest of smirks to slip through.  

“What is it, sir?” Mikasa asked, her quiet voice drawing the group’s attention back to him.  

Levi inhaled deeply, bracing himself. “I got married.”  

The reactions were instant and varied. Jean made a face that was equal parts disbelief and disgust, like the concept itself offended him. Sasha froze, a piece of food dropping from her mouth. Armin raised his eyebrows, lips pressed tightly together, while Connie’s jaw went slack. Only Eren, lost in his own world lately, seemed unaffected, while Mikasa’s expression shifted quickly from surprise to understanding. 

“So… she might be joining us for meals or something,” Levi concluded with a tired sigh, clearly done with the announcement already.  

“Congratulations,” Armin said, snapping himself and the others out of their collective shock.  

“Yeah, well,” Levi muttered, dismissing the sentiment. “Try to be on your best behaviour.” He fixed a pointed glare at Eren, his tone sharpening. “And take a damn shower, for once.” He felt like a tired mother scolding a rebellious teenager who’d just shouted, “It’s not a phase!” while looking like they hadn’t seen a bar of soap in weeks. 

“Of course!” Sasha chirped enthusiastically, breaking the awkward tension.  

But the air shifted as Mikasa interrupted, her voice calm but firm. “Floch was the one who tried to break into the room.”  

Levi’s gaze flicked to her, his surprise momentary but genuine. Her new sense of loyalty didn’t go unnoticed. “Doesn’t surprise me,” he admitted, clicking his tongue in annoyance. ‘Just confirms my judgment.’  

Before he could say more, Mikasa continued. “I’ll keep him in line.”  

Their eyes met, a silent understanding passing between the two Ackermans. It wasn’t just about loyalty; it was about the unspoken weight of their shared circumstances, their duty.  

“I’m counting on it,” Levi said, his tone gruff but laced with trust.  

— 

“I’m counting on you,” Hange murmured. 

The meeting dragged on until the final toast. Glasses were poured, and voices echoed in celebration.   

“You know I fucking hate social events,” Levi muttered back, his voice low and biting. “The last thing I want to do is stay here and get shitfaced with a bunch of old bastards talking about which cadets half their age they’re fucking or how grumpy their wives are.”  

“I know, I know,” Hange replied, whispering urgently. “But I feel so out of place here. Come on, Lev… just go along with me.”  

Their eyes met—not as commander and captain, but as friends. Both of them were thinking about the same person, the same absence that hung heavy over moments like this. The one who would’ve handled this situation with grace, who thrived in these spaces.  

Erwin.  

Reluctantly, Levi picked up his glass and raised it in the air, muttering as he joined the others, "For the coast expansion." 

He drained the drink quickly, then reached for a cigarette, lighting it with practiced ease.  

It’s going to be a long, shitty night.  

— 

“I’m back,” He swag the door open and announced perhaps a bit too loud for the time that it was. The saliva in his mouth was thick and stuck to his tongue in an unceremounious way. ‘I’m getting old,’ 

“Oi, Y/N,” he called out, his voice low but hoarse. He cleared his throat, trying again. “You awake?” 

Silence. 

Levi lingered there for a moment, one hand braced against the frame. He scanned the darkened room, illuminated only by the soft glow of moonlight spilling through a crack in the curtains. It was quiet—too quiet. 

He huffed, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him with a soft click. His boots scraped lightly against the wooden floor as he moved further in. It was late. Too late for anyone to greet him, but still, he’d paused by the door as if expecting her to get up and do just that. He muttered under his breath, scolding himself for the ridiculous thought. 

‘Isn’t that the point of having a wife? You come home late, feeling like shit, and she greets you with love and all that bullshit.’  

Levi loosened his cravat, tossing it onto the chair, then kicked off his boots with practiced ease. His movements were quiet, efficient, and deliberate, but his mind wasn’t. 

There she was, sprawled out under the light sheet, one arm tucked beneath her head and the other draped protectively over the cat, who lay belly-up between her arm and her side. Both were fast asleep, undisturbed by his return.  

Levi stopped in his tracks, his sharp gaze softening as it landed on her. She looked peaceful. Her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, the moonlight catching the soft curve of her cheek and the faint messiness of her hair against the pillow.  

His eyes lingered, trailing down the length of her body to her hips. The sheet clung loosely to her form, draping over her in a way that left little to the imagination. Levi caught himself staring Hange would probably throw some biological explanation but he only nodded to himself and muttered under his breath, “Nice.”  

‘What the hell am I doing?’ he thought, shaking his head slightly. But the pull was there, undeniable and quietly insistent. 

Almost without thinking, he took a step closer, then another, until he was at her side. The cat stretched out before curling into covering his face with his paws. Levi crouched slightly, bringing himself level with her.  

For a moment, he debated whether he should wake her. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say— or even what he wanted from her.  

Her hair was a little wild, strands of it splayed across her face and pillow. The image of the other military board members’ complaints about their own wives popped into his mind uninvited.  

‘Ugh, she’s turned into some cold bitch, I’m telling ya. Won’t even let me touch her lately.’ Levi remembered thinking, Yeah, well, maybe it’s because your secretary sits on your lap half-naked, you bastard. I wouldn’t touch you either. 

The memory made his jaw tighten. The idea of sitting in a room full of other alphas, whining about his wife, made him want to retch—or maybe that was just the alcohol. Either way, he thought, ‘I should try, right? To be a better husband.’ 

Slowly, Levi leaned in. The faint scent of her hair—soft, warm, and subtly sweet, like coconut and jasmine—washed over him. It was... nice. Comforting, even. 

Without overthinking it, Levi reached out, his hand brushing against her head in a careful, hesitant gesture. His fingers moved with an uncharacteristic gentleness as he let himself grow accustomed to her scent. It smelled so good, so calming, that a small, ridiculous part of him wondered if, in a rut, he might’ve purred. 

Then, before he could second-guess himself, he pressed a soft, fleeting kiss to the top of her head. It wasn’t out of love—not yet—but more out of a sense of duty, a vague understanding that this was what he should be doing. 

Straightening up, he nodded to himself, absurdly convinced he’d just done something monumental. His gaze drifted to the nightstand, where her ring sat. A thought struck him, one that seemed like an absolute stroke of genius in his overtired mind. ‘I’m a man who resolves problems.’ 

With newfound determination, Levi grabbed a spool of thread and some glue from his desk. Sitting down, he began carefully wrapping the thread around the base of the ring, reducing its size. He worked methodically, though his vision blurred slightly from exhaustion. 

The task absorbed him entirely until he felt a gentle tug.  

“Oi!” he barked, his voice low but sharp.  

The cat had taken an interest in the thread, enthusiastically pulling at the loose end with its tiny claws. Its wide eyes gleamed with mischievous energy.  

“Don’t do that,” Levi muttered, reaching to swat the thread away from the feline troublemaker. The cat, unbothered, merely stretched again before curling up smugly beside him.  

Levi picked up the cat, holding it up to eye level. In his slightly intoxicated state, he stared at the feline with the seriousness of someone about to start a profound debate. 

“You’re fat,” he declared, as if he and the animal—who had the mental capacity of a toddler—had some long-standing, unresolved feud. “And adopted.” 

“Meow,” the cat replied, entirely unbothered. 

Levi’s expression didn’t falter. “And your balls are cut off,” he added smugly, a hint of triumph in his tone. “So, I’m winning.” 

His eyes squinted as he looked at the cat, and when the animal tilted its head, he mimicked the movement. Groaning complaints filled the air as the cat wanted to be put down already but Levi held it closer to his face. The pink paw pads pressed against Levi’s face, shoving him away.  

“Meowww,” the cat protested. But unlike all the previous insults, Levi rubbed his face against the animal, enjoying the softness. 

In his drunken state, his words slurred together. “How the fuck do you do it?” he asked, almost offended. “You smell good even though you clean your whole body with the same tongue you use to clean your asshole.”  

The cat kept complaining, kicking at Levi until he finally set it back down. 

Now, with conviction, he kept going with his previous task. Once he thought his mission was a complete success, Levi admired the ring resting between his fingers, pride swelling in his chest. “See? Told you I could do it,” he mumbled, smirking as he observed his creation. He turned to look at the cat, which had climbed back on top of his desk, as if challenging his capabilities. “I’m such a good husband,” he declared as the ring diameter had reduced with the thread.  

But when morning came and the sun’s harsh rays pierced through the room, waking him with a killer hangover, Levi stared at the ring in disbelief and second-hand embarrassment. It felt like the actions of a stranger, not his own.  

“Why the fuck did I do that?” he muttered. 

One hand rose to his face, shielding his features as he groaned—partly from the hangover, partly from sheer embarrassment. “If the ring was shitty before, now it’s even worse,” he muttered. 

It was almost mid-morning, far too late by Levi’s standards. He reeked of alcohol, his hair was a disheveled mess, and he desperately needed a shave. The room’s temperature crept higher with each passing minute, and he was all too aware it was going to be an unbearably hot day. 

“Levi?” her voice startled him, pulling him from his thoughts. He opened his eyes. 

“Do you know why Clauwsy has glue in his fur?” she asked, holding the cat in one arm while using the other to carefully work a brush through the feline’s tangled fur. Levi didn’t respond—just let out a slow, resigned sigh. 

“Are you alright? It’s late for you to still be here,” she added, her tone soft but curious. 

Levi dragged himself out of bed with a low grunt, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’ve got the morning off,” he mumbled, heading toward the basin to splash some cold water on his face. The sharp chill hit his skin, waking him up just enough to feel even more miserable about the state he was in. 

She was still working on the cat’s fur, her expression somewhere between focused and annoyed. “Good. You look like you need it,” she remarked, glancing over at him briefly. 

Levi grabbed a towel, drying his face. “Yeah, I got that part,” he muttered. As he turned back toward the room, he noticed her scanning the nightstand, then the desk. 

“What are you looking for?” he asked, his voice low but curious. 

“My ring,” she replied, her tone sharp with frustration. “I’ve looked everywhere for it, but I can’t find it. Have you seen it?” 

Levi froze for a moment, his hand gripping the towel tighter. ‘Shit,’ he thought, glancing toward the drawer where he’d stashed the poorly-repaired ring last night. 

“I... uh...” He cleared his throat awkwardly and turned to the desk. Reaching inside the drawer, he pulled out the ring, now wrapped in lumpy, uneven thread with spots of glue visible along the edges. He hesitated before handing it to her, his expression uncharacteristically sheepish. “Here.” 

Her expression shifted from confusion to clear displeasure as she took the ring from his hand. She turned it over, inspecting the botched craftsmanship. “What… what is this?” she asked, holding it up like it might bite her. 

Levi scratched the back of his neck, his face tinged with a rare hint of embarrassment. “It didn’t fit you properly,” he mumbled, barely audible. “Thought I’d, uh, fix it.” 

She raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Fix it?” she repeated, her voice heavy with disbelief. 

Before she could even argue, Levi cleared his throat, clearly steering the conversation in a different direction. “You can go out now,” he said casually, his tone flat, but his words immediately caught her attention. 

“Wait, really?” Her face lit up like a thousand stars, a grin spreading wide across her lips. 

“Yes, but you gotta listen—” 

Before he could finish, she was already walking toward the door, her excitement propelling her forward. 

Levi’s reflexes were faster. His arm shot out, easily catching her by the wrist and tugging her back to his side. “Oi, oi, oi, hold up, girly,” he said, the nickname slipping out in his usual blunt tone. 

Her smile faltered for a split second, and her lips pressed into a thin line. ‘What did he just call me?’ she thought, her cheeks warming slightly with a mix of embarrassment and indignation. 

“I said,” Levi continued, his voice low and deliberate, “you gotta listen up. The world isn’t going anywhere.” 

But her gaze betrayed her impatience, darting back to the door as if it might disappear at any second. The urgency in her expression was almost comical, and it made Levi click his tongue in irritation. Without warning, he gripped her cheeks firmly, forcing her to look at him. 

“Oi, pay attention,” he said, his sharp grey eyes locking with hers. “If you don’t listen, I’m locking the door again like I did for the past three weeks. And then? Bye-bye going out.” 

Her eyes widened slightly, and she pouted, a small noise of protest escaping her lips. “Sorry,” she mumbled, her tone soft and sheepish as her bottom lip jutted out slightly. 

Levi exhaled heavily, running a hand through his disheveled hair. The reluctance was evident in the way his shoulders tensed, but he was someone who preferred ripping the bandage off. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just gonna say it,” he began, his tone measured but firm. “This is a military headquarters. Everyone here is mostly betas and alphas.” 

Her brows furrowed, a flicker of confusion in her eyes. “Okay... and?” 

Levi looked away for a moment, as if debating how blunt he should be. His jaw tightened before he turned back to her. “Most of the alphas here haven’t seen a pretty girl in dresses in a long while, wayless an omega.” His voice was calm, but the weight of his words hung in the air like a warning. 

Her expression immediately shifted, offense flashing across her face. “That’s not my fault!” she shot back, her arms crossing defensively over her chest. 

“I fucking know,” Levi replied flatly, his tone unchanging. “But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. And you should take precautions.” He paused, letting his words sink in, before continuing. “This is a working place. People are working here. Do not disturb the peace.” 

She stared at him, her indignation clear in the way her lips pressed into a thin line. “So, what, you’re saying I’ll be a distraction just by existing?” 

Levi rubbed his temples, already regretting bringing this up. “Look, I’m not saying it’s fair, and I’m not saying it’s right. I’m just telling you how it is. Don’t be stupid, and don’t do or wear anything that’ll drag too much attention to yourself while I’m not around.” 

She looked away, her jaw tightening, but she stayed silent. The mixture of embarrassment and frustration on her face didn’t escape his notice. Levi sighed, his voice softening just a touch. “If some asshole does something inappropriate, you tell me, and I’ll handle it. But I need to work, and if you want to walk around here unclaimed, you’ve gotta be sharp.” 

Her shoulders eased slightly, though she still wouldn’t meet his gaze. After a moment of silence, she gave a small, reluctant nod. “Alright,” she muttered, her voice quieter than before. 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he added, his tone curt as he wrapped up the conversation. 

Somehow, that made her chuckle softly, the sound light and unexpected. Levi raised an eyebrow in silent question, his expression asking what she found so funny. 

“So I don’t wear heels?” she teased, a faint smile tugging at her lips. 

Levi shot her a deadpan look, unimpressed. “Don’t get cocky with me,” he said flatly. 

“Good.” Levi stepped back, satisfied with her response, though the tension in the air lingered. He wasn’t the type to coddle, and he knew his approach wasn’t exactly gentle, but he also wasn’t going to sugarcoat reality. “You can go,” he added after a pause, his tone lighter. “Just don’t make me regret it.” 

With a loud sigh, he turned to prepare for training. Grabbing his gear, he muttered to himself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” The words felt hollow even as he thought them, a weak attempt to reassure himself. 

— 

“Good morning!”

Hange paused mid-step, observing the scene from what they considered a safe distance, a piece of bread dangling from their mouth—a quick breakfast snatched during their busy schedule. Their curious eyes gleamed as they took in the unfolding interaction.

“M-Morning?” The ginger-haired girl blinked in confusion, her gaze shifting between her companion and the new arrival—a girl dressed in civilian clothes, cradling a cat in her arms.

“Well, good morning indeed,” the male soldier beside her murmured, almost entranced. His dazed admiration earned him a sharp nudge in the ribs from the female soldier next to him, her frown deep enough to scold him silently.

“Excuse me, but where can I find something to eat?” Y/N asked, her cheerful voice cutting through the tension. Her bright smile seemed to radiate warmth, and both cadets found themselves blushing slightly as her delicate perfume drifted their way. Both, despite their gender, unmistakable alphas.

“Oh, it’s on the bottom floor. The biggest two doors—you can’t miss them. They’re probably wide open,” the ginger-haired girl explained hurriedly, a hint of shyness creeping into her tone.

“Thank you, you’re very sweet,” Y/N replied, her smile widening.

“And you smell very sweet to—I mean, you’re very sweet too!” the girl stammered, her face turning beet red as she fumbled to recover. Her companion couldn’t hold back a chuckle, clearly amused by her flustered state.

“W-who… who are you?” the ginger-haired girl managed, her embarrassed smile giving way to a mix of curiosity and unease.

Without hesitation and with the same bright, welcoming smile, Y/N answered, “I’m Captain Levi’s wife.”

Both cadets froze, their eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets as they processed her words.

“Ah…” they whispered in stunned unison.

“Nice to meet you! See you around!” Y/N waved enthusiastically before strolling off, leaving the two cadets to exchange wide-eyed glances. Slowly, almost dazedly, they lifted their hands to wave back.

As Y/N’s voice echoed down the corridor, greeting yet another group of cadets with a cheerful, “Hi, good morning!” the trio of male soldiers glanced at each other before responding awkwardly, “Good morning…” Their words were followed by stifled chuckles as they watched her pass.

“Dear Sheena…” Hange muttered, biting back a laugh as they observed from their hidden vantage point. Finally, they gave in, shaking with quiet laughter. “God, Levi’s never going to unlock that door again.”

They paused, weighing their options. “Should I tell him?” A mischievous grin spread across their face as they snorted, “No fucking way. Let him find out himself.”

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out.

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[ma1dita]

hiii can i have 1 ticket to the give em' a pumpkin to talk about starring luke castellan with popcorn and candy??

welcome to my nightmare

[STARRING: LUKE CASTELLAN x reader “Just forget you saw this happen.” “I’ve just never seen you this mad before.”] wc: 700+ a/n: no warnings this one's just dumb and goofy and inspired by sylus x mc's aether tie from LNDS if yall have ever played haha; title from the alice cooper song

monster mash-terlist

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For the past week, you and Luke Castellan have been stuck at the hip. Well, kinda…and definitely not by choice.

“I swear to the gods, when I get my hands on you Castellan…” 

“Sure, go ahead. Call on Nemesis again and maybe this time if I stay quiet, the goddess of retribution will keep me out of whatever stupid punishment you get next!” he spits, yanking at the invisible force that has your wrists linked together. You chew a guy out in the presence of a sacred temple once and now you’re stuck to him indefinitely. Perfect.

“We can’t go out like this,” you groan exasperatedly, “you’re messing with my game.” Luke’s eyes might roll to the back of his head if he tries any harder. Everything is always a game with you—and he’s about to lose it.

“You’re the only person I know that would pull the shit you do, y’know? He was being annoying,” Luke scoffs, remembering the barista who was trying to chat you up an hour earlier. He never thought he’d say this, but he absolutely cannot wait to get back to Camp Half-Blood. You stop in your tracks to protest, “He was being nice! And I was trying to score us a free lunch, but you had to be all macho, ‘Can’t you see she’s cuffed?’ CLEARLY NOT!” The invisible link between your wrists strengthens as you try to tug your arm away from him—the pull almost tightening around your skin as his arm follows the shape of yours with no dispute. 

“He was too nice. There was something wrong with his face.”

Your eye twitches as you snort, “I’ve just never seen you this mad before, is all.” Luke stops short in front of you, turning suddenly and it makes your arm jerk towards him. Standing toe to toe, he looks down at you with an unreadable expression, grumbling, “I’m not mad.”

“Jealous, then.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. I think it would be less painful to hack my arm off with a sword than be stuck to you,” he starts walking again, hoping that if you stop trying to start a fight you can make it back to camp by nightfall. It’s never that easy though— you start walking back towards the cafe, making his knees buckle at the force of the redirection, “Are you serious?”

“You won’t mind if I walk in there and get his number then?”

Luke’s bound hand catches yours so that the unfamiliar feeling in his stomach will settle. Actually, he does mind—and he thinks it wouldn’t be so bad to be stuck to you for the rest of eternity if it meant you don’t go back in there to get that guy’s number. 

There’s an unspoken tension that reverberates through the both of you as you stand there in the parking lot and neither of you can find the words.

“Don’t.”

Luke’s voice is soft under the flickering streetlights, “Not without me,” and you could’ve sworn he was going to say something else, but he doesn’t. 

“Not like I have a choice…” you start, and he bites his lip reluctantly—”Not like I would want to. Brighten up, Castellan. We still have to get home.” Your tone is less serious now, nudging your shoulder against his, and you’ve barely noticed he’s still holding your hand, or the fact that the pull between you two is less of a punishment and more of a surprising reward for this situation.

The gods do love a good joke.

Walking back into the cafe, you follow Luke towards the direction of the bathroom and he’s back in a goofy mood now that there’s an irrevocable understanding between you two. He pushes the door open slightly, smirking at you as you scan the area to see if anyone’s watching you follow him into the men’s bathroom. After a week of having no privacy due to your predicament, nothing is that awkward anymore.

“So…” he smirks, “You wanna hold it?”

You whack him across the chest. A glass clatters to the floor behind you and it’s the cute barista from earlier. Your face pales, “Just… forget you saw this happen.” 

With Luke’s eyes meeting his, he tugs you in by the hand anyway.

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ma1dita's monster mash is closed for requests but ongoing for the rest of october!

[edgeray]

Ray! 🍅 anon here, I said I wasn't going to request but there's one idea I've been really, REALLY itching at.

So you know how you reblogged "cold nights" by beiibeii? Yeah about that... I think I cooked an angst idea of this on a related tangent? (If you choose to write this, ofc)

How about Mother!Reader who is faced with the same scenario of Arle neglecting them to the point that she loses hope in their relationship? Think of the angst when the children constantly remind their Father of important dates but she's away or somehow missing most of them because of work. To the point reader just implies for them to stop trying and accepts the fact that they married Arlecchino but is now simply the Knave's wife? Like even the children can see them losing hope which is why they sometimes lowkey plead with their Father to actually pay more attention to Mother. Mother marrying Father means that Mother is strong but behind their strong facade you can see their sadness! You can feel their loneliness! And their sense of isolation and sorrowful acceptance of their new reality. And Arle does not pick up on the subtle signs until it's Too Late. Like. Reader in the coffin Late.

And as the Knave's wife Reader does need to undertake missions like in "I am Fine in Your Arms" but because reader has lost so much hope in living a wife outside of being the Knave's wife, reader does not make an effort to return alive. The angst of the burial, maybe the children blaming their Father etc. The really young ones aside, I don't think they would be actively angry with their Father, just very, VERY, disappointed. HotH would lose its warmth for a while before Lyney, Lynette and Freminet try their best to build it back (but of course, it never becomes as warm as it used to be)

Whether or not you choose to give this one a happy ending is up to you, but on my end the only happy ending that I cooked up for them is that Arle wakes up in the next Samsara with all these memories of losing Reader and prevents the relationship from going South in the first place. (Bonus points if Reader also has the memories and compares it to how they were treated by Arle previously, makes a comparison, and goes "How I wish this were my Arle" without knowing that it actually IS their Arle, just acknowledging she fucked up BIG time and is now making heavy amends for it. and Arle Knows because of that look that Reader gives her, sorrow and joy in a complex blend.)

...I think by now you can tell that I'm an angst writer too HAHSHHSHA Nobody leaves my fics without getting a knife and I promise it's just for the plot (like we always say).

I've still been keeping up with your writings (Beauty and The Beast actually fits, holy-) (Someone send Siren!Arle a whole farmhouse of ham for her consumption please) and yes I agree that you've been pumping out bangers after bangers. (I mean. Given that, you probably can afford to be a little indulgent? If writing this much quality about your muse doesn't give you the OK to put your hands all over them, abs and all, what does?)

As always, prioritise your sanity and schedule first, stay well rested and hydrated!

Lost Warmth

(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)

A/N -  Link to my momma's (@beiibeiii) piece right here. If I see you read this before reading the masterpiece I just linked, know that I am a very disappointed axolotl. 😔  Anyways, you might be able to tell just how long this has been sitting in my inbox… haha… my bad guys. T^T. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write more angst. :3 And thank you for the additional comments 🍅 anon. I do have quite a soft spot for siren! arle, seeing that she was my first request (and requested from my momma :3). Wanted this to be a little longer, but I do have to wake up earlier tomorrow, so this is what you get T^T. Hopefully it's still good. Content warnings / info - angst, character death (duh), reader is referred to as ‘Mother’ but is otherwise GN!, 1.4k words

Cold is a feeling you've long gotten used to. Cold is your husband's dismissal of your existence, with every interaction ending with her blunt words and back towards you, leaving you with a crumbling heart. Cold are the long nights as you anxiously wait for Arlecchino's appearance for a candlelit dinner you spent half the day preparing, only for her never to return until you fell to exhaustion on the couch, a flower bouquet that remains unreceived in your hands. Cold is the creeping loneliness in the late hours of the night, when you've finally grown tired of anticipating someone that will never come, and returned to bed alone. Cold is the way you shiver underneath the thickest of blankets, no one's body warmth to sink into, no one's softly whispered words into your ear to drift you to sleep. Cold is when instead of your husband, only dim stars, a bottle of liquor, and the tears that stream your face join you in bed.

When was the last time you had felt warmth? 

You recall when the Knave first started courting you, how gentlemanly she was for such a rumored cruel Harbinger. You were first just a caretaker of the House of the Hearth, this small orphanage which you quickly found to be home for you. You couldn't help but adore the endearing children, watching as you slowly became a staple in this family. Despite your best efforts of hiding it, Arlecchino noticed when you snuck in the occasional pastry or cake from the town's most lavious bakery for the children, out of your own paycheck as well. It was then, your husband admitted, when she first fell for you. It had taken her months of encouragement from her ‘pestering’ children before she asked you out, and it was impossible to not fall for her charm.

How could you not? Not when she held you like you were her world. Not when she viewed you higher than the Tsaritsa herself. Not when her touch was heavenly, her words silky and sweet. When she proposed to you, your heart leapt with levity, and you thought your life was perfect now. A warm house, fitted with warm parents, that was what you had had, you had never felt so content. 

Then came the long nights. Nights when she trudged home later than usual, where she fell asleep without a word but sunk into your arms still. Then she started forgetting, forgetting about the dates and birthdays, and anniversaries more and more. At first, you chalked it up to her demanding Harbinger duties, but as time grew and the excuses started to run out, the perfect life you knew was crumbling. 

You became aware of this two years after your marriage when you had been preparing dinner for the two of you once she arrived home, slow cooking a steak since the early hours of the morning. Just as you exited the kitchen, you heard some children surrounding your husband before she left for another Harbinger meeting, telling her that you had a surprise for her once she came home and how excited you were for her to enjoy a new recipe you created. Your heart swelled with hope and appreciation for your children, especially when Arlecchino promised she would return in time. 

You should have known better.

You ate your tear-ridden steak alone and went to bed, leaving the steak out for her for whenever she returned home. Just like how you fell asleep, you woke up without your husband's presence, and when you arrived at the kitchen, the meat and the note besides the plate were untouched. 

You tried to eat the cold steak for lunch as well. You threw it away at the first bite. That day, you gathered your children, pleading them not to ‘pester’ Father with more reminders, as she was very busy. All that you gained back from the children was pitied expressions, and the agony in your chest worsened. Your children could pity you, but your husband couldn't? Even with your husband's coldness, you still carried out your Mother role, if only for the children. You cannot deny that the children's antics helped you forget the ever-present void inside you, caused by Arlecchino. 

You never learned the reason for Arlecchino's behavior, why she had grown so cold towards you. Now, you suppose, you would never know.  

Red fills your hazy vision as you lay on the ground, your entire body aching and fatigued, desperate gasps for air while your heart pounds in your eardrums. Your side was sliced, and the crimson liquid quickly poured out of the wound while you tried to stop the bleeding, but to no avail. 

This is your end, you think to yourself as you weakly turn on your side, every nerve in your body protesting against the movement. Your bloodied hand comes into view, your engagement and wedding ring gleaming slightly underneath the blood. The rings bring your thoughts to Arlecchino–oh, how you imagine the common disappointment in her otherwise apathetic expression, disappointment at your mission's failure. Your eyes bubbled and blurred with tears, vivid memories of your wedding flashing through your mind. The wedding ring is beautiful, still polished with that bold scarlet, the same color of her eyes, the same eyes you could never stop drowning in.

Would she even know your absence? Would she ever acknowledge you, treat you properly like her partner even if you did return? You doubt it. Did you want to return a cold bed, to a husband that does not love you, to a house no longer warm? 

It's warm. 

Your body feels like fire courses through your veins as you feel inexplicably hot, yet it's a welcomed heat. It's the first time you've felt this, but it feels familiar, comforting, like a hearth, and you want nothing more than to surrender to it. It soothes your heartbeat and calms your breath, easing your body as if you were to sink into the most plush of beds, swallowed by the thickest of blankets. The warmth coils around you, wrapping you like a cozy embrace, evoking you to sleep. Your eyes flutter shutter, a faint smile plastered on your lips.

It feels just like Peruere's arms. 

— 

Arlecchino receives a letter addressed to her on the third day you've been sent on a mission. The contents make her drop the paper, and she rushes outside, without an additional word, leaving the House. 

The children do not see her until she returns late into the night, a body wrapped in cloth in her arms. Arlecchino raised her children to be smart, to be attentive, to be logical. Whose body it is, they realize with little difficulty. 

The children weep that night. Arlecchino does not. How can she, when her source of emotions is gone? 

The burial takes place soon afterwards. As your body is placed into the ground, Arlecchino can feel the weight of her children's stare on her back. The charged tension between her and the children is palpable without words. She cannot discern which of the two reactions cut deeper. The seething fury underneath the oppressive grief for the young ones, having to lose another parent, or the crushing dismay inhabited by the older ones, specifically the twins and Freminet. 

Their thoughts are clear, even when none of them speak out loud. 

How could you fail Mother?

The House of the Hearth no longer suits the orphanage's name, not with your missing presence. There is no warmth, no matter how much the trio tries to fuel a lost flame. Even with Arlecchin's pyro vision, it is futile.

Arlecchino stands before your gravestone, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in her hand, and she rests it beside the other bouquets by your grave. Six bouquets in total, for each day after your burial. 

“For all the flowers, I should have given you, my love,” she whispers as she addresses you, glancing up to the heavens. The last two words make her feel like a fraud, undeserving of calling you hers, when she had clearly never shown so. 

Arlecchino, the Knave, the Fatui Harbinger, does not plead, does not beg, does not kneel. However, her knees drop to her dirt, and she grovels. “Please… wait for me one more time, my dear. Once I meet you again, I promise I'll never leave you alone, I'll never let you out of my arms again.”

There is no reply. 

Arlecchino feels cold. 

[imagine-shenanigans]

sighs dramatically.

Okay but the ghost distribution system as we call it is hysterical but can we tlak about how None Of The 141 are built to date.

Like, sure, Gaz is great at flirting, and he's charming, but DATES? He's the type who asks you on a date because he thinks youre pretty/handsome/adorable/etc but by the time the two of you actually go on a date he's ready figured out like. the whole rest of your lives together. He's already imagined up 20 different scenarios of different dates, stalked your front-facing social media and found your secret or hidden accounts that theoretically don't link back to you. Sure, he's scrounged through your discord servers and your private messages and texts and a thousand other things while he was bored on leave. He knows enough to know that he's happy with what comes next. All dates are simply... ritual at this point? Something obligational, other than the fact he gets to spend time with you.

You're not going anywhere, he's just the least heavy handed of them, the one who'll let you think its your choice to keep him around until he's got his ring officially on your finger. Life won't go according to plan but he's prepared for that too. In his head, you're already married anyway, he's just working his way up to that part. He'll manufacture any scenario to keep you with him, because he wants you to be. And he'll make sure you want to be too.

Soap on the other hand is WAY less tactful about it. He's charming, and he'll take you on dates, sure, but the moment he spots you it's incredibly easy to get obsessed. He immediately drops an arm around you, purring in your ear and talking to you. Doesn't ask you on a date so much as demands it, puts his number in your phone and presses a kiss to your temple, his fingertips squeezing your chin before you leave. God forbid you let him into your home - he'll never leave if you do. Johnny's SUCH a physical guy that while, yes, personality matters, it seals the deal for him the moment he's got his tongue down your throat and his fingers in your pants. Something about the way you settle in against him makes him feel like he's home, and you will never get rid of him.

He's willing to take you on dates if you need more proof, but he won't even pretend like he doesnt already have a copy of your key. Like he's not telling the guys about the bonnie little thing he's going home to - he slips into your apartment/house/etc and into your bed without changing, barely finding time to slip his boots off. Presses one hand to your mouth and just... holds you. He'll fuck you within an inch of your life later when you're less panicked, sure, but he just wants to press his nose to your neck and breathe you in. If his hips rut against your ass, ignore it for now. (Haha... unless? No? okay in a minute then)

Price is just as manipulative as Gaz can be, just as charming as Soap and Gaz too. But he just... doesn't care, just like Simon. There's a reason so many people have Price with like... mail order bride or a "one day you look up and hes your husband" scenario and thats because he's good at what he does. And by that I mean being a husband and pumping you full of kids whether or not its physically possible. (Btw check out Ceil's mail order bride western au its good shit, or Bo's Kingpin Price drabbles, makes me lose it every time.)

He sees you walking about and the MOMENT you do anything remotely domestic - pick up a neice/nephew/babysitting kid/etc and put em on your hip? Rock hard. play peekaboo with a baby across from you at a cafe? pick up after yourself just to be polite to the waitress? he's already stalking you on multiple platforms theres no goddamn way youre getting away from him. He'll figure out where you go in your free time and insert himself there as naturally as possible. He's not particularly hiding what he's doing either - he likes to test you, to see if you notice things missing or moved. If you do, he'll be a little more cautious, use it as reason to drive you into hsi arms. If you don't he jsut views it as all the more reason to take you away - poor thing, you just can't help yourself can you? You're lucky nobody else has got their claws around you, hm?

[celestiababie]

A Handful - K.MG

Pairings: Stay at home husband! Mingyu x fem! reader

Genre: fluff, highly suggestive (18+), domestic!au, established relationship!

Warnings: PREGNANT READER, chest fondling (m and f receiving), cursing, Mingyu is a little shit, reader is hormonal and easily annoyed, Mingyu possibly has a breeding kink, reader is shorter than Mingyu, let me know if I need to add anything else!

Word Count: 915 (short but I was on hiatus and this is the first thing I'm writing in MONTHS)

Summary: Your husband is no stranger to being touchy and clingy, but he's been especially annoying ever since you gave him the big news.

A/N: I'M MOTHERFUCKING BACK!!! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing this. For reference, this acts as a small prequel to a small series I have about stay at home husband/dad! Mingyu. You don't have to read the other parts, but I will leave a link to the series masterlist just in case people want to read it. Please leave feedback, I'd really appreciate it, especially since I'm a bit nervous about posting again haha.

Series Masterlist

A pair of warm hands suddenly wrap around your growing stomach, engulfing you as a gigantic presence looms over you. 

The shriek that escapes your lips is embarrassing, but not nearly embarrassing as your hands lose their grasp on the plate you were scrubbing, dropping it in the sink and causing the fine porcelain to shatter. 

"Shit—are you hurt, baby?" Your husband's voice echoes through the not yet completed kitchen, irking you more than it normally would. 

Spinning in his hold, you wipe your damp hands on the sides of your sweatpants before shooting him one of the deadliest (and sexiest) glares he's ever witnessed.

"No, I'm not hurt, but I keep telling you not to sneak up behind me when I'm doing the dishes! I don't even understand how your tall ass is that fucking quiet," you start, your brows furrowed as you hold your glare.

Mingyu opens his mouth to reply but can't get a single word out before you shush him with a single finger to the lips. 

"I'm not finished. And this is the fifth. No, the sixth time a plate has broken since we've moved here." 

"That's not that bad, Y/n," Mingyu defends with a pout accompanying his words.

You cock a brow at the tall man, scoffing at his pathetic defense, your tongue pressed into the side of your cheek.

Six plates is a lot for any man, but it becomes comical when it's only been a month and a half since moving into the new house with your klutz of a husband. 

"You've also spilled drinks. Many times. Dropped multiple glasses. And don't think that I'm stupid and don't know you dropped the bottle of wine Minghao gifted us. I was looking forward to drinking that. That's pretty bad, admit it, Gyu," you list off, enjoying how a deep rosiness reaches the tips of his ears, almost as deep as the wine you'd never be able to appreciate. 

Mingyu slowly turned your frame back around to face the sink once again. His hands roamed across your stomach, which was getting bigger and bigger with every day that passed.

 Like always, Mingyu felt his heart racing in his chest as he caressed your stomach, his body flooding with that overwhelming emotion he could only describe as true unconditional happiness and love for both of his girls. 

Okay, maybe he didn't know the sex of the baby yet, but his gut was telling him he was gonna be a father of a little baby girl, and he was sticking to it for now. His intuition rarely failed him, and if he hadn't stuck to his guns, he would have never got together with you. 

"You wouldn't be able to drink it right now anyway, baby. Let's focus on things I'm good at, hm? The kitchen is almost done, and the living room looks beautiful, if I do say so myself. I'm pretty good at painting, so I'll have the nursing done in no time. I just cooked my beautiful wife a wonderful meal that she was moaning about the entire time," he shamelessly declares, the smugness apparent in his voice. 

You bite back a sassy remark when you feel his hands traverse up your abdomen, gently grabbing your swollen breasts in his large hands to massage them carefully. Your head relaxes against him as you let out a deep sigh, your husband's skillful hands rubbing away the ache and soreness. 

Mingyu studied your blissful expression for what felt like the millionth time. He'd never grow tired of how your eyes would flutter shut, eyelashes resting on the tops of your cheeks as your pretty lips parted, taking deep breaths as you savored the feeling of his hands on your body. 

He tilts his head to bring his lips closer to your ear, "And I'm really good at making mommy feel good, isn't that right, baby?" 

Your eyes roll behind your eyelids as you let out a breathy laugh, amused but not surprised by your husband's antics.

"You're so annoying, Mingyu," you moan, practically purring your husband's name, which only inflates his ego more.

"How convenient for me; you've always looked so damn sexy when annoyed."

A light bulb lights up in your head as you watch your husband's back muscles as he walks over to the kitchen sink to set aside the dishes. 

Let's see how he likes it.

A Cheshire-like smirk paints your lips as you slowly come up behind your half-naked husband to wrap your arms around his waist, your stomach pressing against his tanned skin.

But much to your disappointment, Mingyu didn't give you the reaction you hoped for. 

"Gonna keep me company while I wash up?"

You frown and deeply exhale as you crawl your hands further up his torso. Your nails drag along his skin, which generates a shiver throughout his entire being, goosebumps forming on his skin. 

"No, I'm trying to give you a taste of your own medicine, but you're enjoying this too much," you reply, your fingers inching further with every word.

A low moan rumbles out of Mingyu as your hands feel up his sore chest from working out right before waking you for breakfast. 

Shit, his chest got even bigger. Damn, that home gym he insisted on. 

You watch as Mingyu writhes against you as your fingers trail over his nipples, a shaky breath forced out of his body as he grabs the edge of the sink.

He's so annoying.

[wooblrb]

hi! I loved your hunter post! do you think you can do headcanons of xikers as your boyfriend? they've been on my mind recently :,) thank you 💘

xikers as your boyfriends!

genre: fluff!!,, a little comedy

pair: bf!xikers x gn!reader

warnings: overuse of the word cute LOL

a/n: AHH THIS TOOK ME SOO LONG! it was kind of hard for some of the members buttt i hope yall like it! thank you for requesting!! :pp

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minjae 

definitely loves to show you off 

he loves to admire you 

has so much couple stuff with you (bracelets, rings, clothes, etc.) 

he's so cheesy in private 

once his members caught him being cute with you and they always tease him

he doesn't care though!!

he loves his s/o frfr 

"minjae? why do you keep staring at me?" 

"you're so beautiful. how did i get so lucky?" he says with soft smile.

"HAHA GUYS DID YOU HEAR THAT!?"

junmin 

HE WANTS YOUR ATTENTION ALL THE TIME! 

like you could just be minding you business and and he'll just spawn next to you

he would be shy at first but later on he'll be so cute with you

but his duality is crazyyy

i bet he'll be so cute one second then flirty the next..

like yall remember the 'die for you' performance..

he loves when you link arms with him!

he just loves being with you in general

"why aren't you paying attention to me (•̀⤙•́)"

"junmin you're literally on top of me..."

sumin 

he would be such a sweet bf >,< * 

he would be so attentive and protective!, 

he will always make sure youre not getting into trouble or get hurt. 

everytimee yall would go out he would have his arm around you waist so he wont lose you :pp 

i feel like hes the best person to go to when youre sad.

he would do literally EVERYTHING to make you feel better. 

or if you need advice he would have the best! to me 

he doesnt seem too affectionate but if it was for you 

he would give you all the hugs and kisses you need 

leaves little drawings around your room for sureee

and he has so many paintings of you :33

"omg you have so many paintings of me.." you say as you look around his art room

"what can i say.. you are my muse.."

jinsik 

jinsik would be the cutest bf ever!

he would NOT be able to keep his clingy side away from you.

he seems like the type to love long hugs!

imagine you have to go home after a date and he just does NOT let you go :p

he would be so sweet:(

he will always think of you where ever he goes.

like if he goes to the mall he would think ‘oh y/n might like this’

or ‘y/n needs more of this.’

i feel like he's secretly a jealous guy.. like he would get so protective when he sees another guy talking to you but you would never notice that. :p 

"i missed you so much.." he says while hugging you tightly

"i was gone for 3 minutes..

hyunwoo 

sweet bf!!

i feel like he would be so shy at first

but as time goes on he becomes so talkative with you!

at the end of every date yall just talk and laugh for HOURS

hes your personal photographer!!

does you right in every pic!

like minjae, he LOVES to show you off and brag about you

like he just brings you up in every convo with his members

and the boys are like (·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ) ?

he just loves you sm :33

"ok a little more to the right.. there! you look so beautiful!!" he says as he gets on the floor and takes your picture

"oh my..(ᵕ—ᴗ—)"

junghoon 

cold to everyone but soft for you bf!!!

he would be such a great bf i swear.

i feel like he would get shy infront of you but you would never notice because of his stone face he always has.

junghoon def loves to cuddle!

but he waits for you to initiate it because he literally won't >.<

i feel like he likes to stare..

like he'll just admire you with blank face (-ㅅ-) like this

whenever you catch him he will not look away

which makes you super shy (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

"junghoon watch the movie.." you say while trying to move his head.

he shakes his head no and continues to admire you with a small smile. (˶˃ᆺ˂˶)

seeun

another clingy bf!

he follows you around everywhere

anytime you get up to do something you just hear his footsteps falling behind you

he loves to hug you!

since hes super tall, he def teases you if youre shorter than him LOL

loves to make you laugh!

its his favorite sound ever >.<

he uses so many petnames its so cute!

likes to baby you, like he does to yujun!! (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

hes such a cutieee

"seeun i have to go home now.."

"ok lets go! :3"

yujun 

clingy bf #3 !! we all knew this!

like seeun, he would follow you around everywhere like EVERYWHERE

he would go with you to the bathroom if you'd let him LOL

i also think he's the type to get lost in your eyes ( kinda randomᵕ—ᴗ—)

like when youre ranting about your day or something he would just stare into your eyes with stars in his

you would have to shake him to bring him back to reality LOL

his cutie smile and cutie giggle will always be present when hes with you!

  yujunie loves skinship and i stand by this.

he would hug you anytime any where.

and kisses with him are so sweet(,,>﹏<,,)

he would get shy after just one peck but he'll beg for more LOL

"omg you're so red" you giggle.

"i-i think if you kiss me again it'll go away.."

hunter 

hunter is so boyfriend material!

he seems more reserved so theres not a lot of skin ship unless you want to!

hes the type to pay attention to all your habits

including the ones you didnt know you had! LOL

HUNTER IS YOUR #1 SUPPORTER!

no matter what you do he will always be there cheering you on

i think he'd like kissing A LOT

he just loves being close to you :3

loves long conversations with you at night

he loves loving someone if that makes sense LOL

"hunter we've been talking for 3 hours now!" you gasp as you look at the time.

"really? then might as well talk for 3 more!" he giggles.

yechan 

clingy bf #4!!

he lovesss PDA frfr

and he teases you A LOTT

but thats just yechan's way of showing his love

he's the jealous type i can feel it..

if he sees someone flirt or just be close to you..

he would immediately wrap his arm around you to assert dominance LOL

after the person leaves, he gets all sulky and just wants to hug you

he would do anything for you!

like if you forgot something at your house he wouldn't hesitate to run and get if for you!

only does it because he knows youll give him kisses and hugs after ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

hes such a cutieeee

"omg yechan~ you didnt have to go get it" you grab you jacket from his hand and smile.

"hmm yeah yeah now kiss me."

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[radioapplerevue]

Radioapple Fic Recs #2

I'm finally getting around to updating my fic recs, and I decided that it would get a bit too unwieldy to just keep adding on to the original post. So, from now on I'll be putting them into different parts and then linking them in an archive post, which I will pin on my blog. For now, my first post of recs can be found here.

There are also a bunch of unfinished fics that I have been keeping an eye on that I haven't read yet because they are fairly early on and their tags say something along the lines of "it gets worse before it gets better" haha. There are enough fics grinding my heart into dust at the moment, but just know that I am seeing those chapter counts go up. I'm Watching You.

Now, onto the recs!

Home Stretch by @tarmairons (mature)

Welcome to the most convoluted game of 20 questions I've ever seen. I love the slow, purposeful approach to showing how Lucifer and Alastor's relationship is shifting and merging to not only accommodate each other, but also tie them closer together. This is an entire fic of them attempting to communicate and really, honestly trying even if neither of them are sure of what the hell they're doing. And, of course, I love when fics really take the time to explore how Alastor's asexuality (and lack of experience with intimacy in general) would affect his approach and behavior when it comes to sex with Lucifer -- and also how Lucifer learns to handle Alastor in a way that meets his needs, even if the things Alastor needs are not what Lucifer's used to.

2. To Be The Perfect Angel, Some Sin Must Be Done by @hismercytomyjustice (ratings vary by part)

This is a series I've really super been enjoying, largely because it's just fun. Don't get me wrong, the explicit parts are hot too, but it's fucking funny and there's just such an enjoyable push and pull dynamic between Alastor and Lucifer here, where each give as good as they get and actually end up... maybe.... enjoying it? Whoops? And oh shit here comes feelings, where did those come from. And as always, I enjoy seeing how Alastor's asexuality is handled here, with his discomfort with making decisions or taking the lead in bed causing them to develop a dynamic where Lucifer makes all the calls, and Alastor makes the terrifying choice to trust him with his own body, pleasure, and safety. Plus, excellent use of the shadow here. Having the shadow play a significant role in a fic is always one of my favorite things, and I am also very here for shadow fucking at all times.

3. somewhere down the line by kj_crwn (explicit)

This is one of the "Alastor and Lucifer meet in the living world first" fics. I love Lucifer basically just coming up to the living world to be the biggest nuisance to Alastor he could possibly be, but whoops, I guess Alastor's into that. There's a lot of murder, a lot of two assholes trying to drive each other nuts (and succeeding), a lot of sexual tension, and a lot of said assholes being really, really bad at feelings. I particularly enjoy what happens from the time of Alastor's death up to the conclusion of the fic, and the way they have to come to grips with what their relationship is now, what it could be, and what they want it to be.

4. T is for Tax Evasion by @radiaurapple (teen and up)

This is a brand new fic, but my goodness I loved it immediately. I loved the take on Heaven's fucked up bureaucracy, I loved Lucifer's panic, guilt and weariness, and I love how God is a fucking dick. It's such an interesting concept that is explored through Lucifer's slowly crumbling psyche as the knowledge he's going to lose Alastor becomes more and more certain. Or is it? There are few things I love more than pre-emptive grief and utter desperation, and the emotional payoff is just so good. I would have loved to have seen more of the fallout, but regardless, this is one that I'll definitely be thinking about for a while.

5. I Will Dance Divine by @rahabs (mature)

This fic caught my attention immediately. A large part of is exploring Alastor and Lucifer's relationship through dance, and the first chapter is immediately gripping. There's such an immediate magnetism to them, as well as the clash between the performance they are putting on and the quiet battle they are having with each other. It made me so look forward to seeing where it goes. So far it seems to be a slow, but very thorough burn, with the fic taking its time to really let them come together naturally, and learn about each other in tantalizing pieces. I dearly hope it is continued as I want to see more, but what there is already is also a wonderful read.

6. Muzzle for My Lover by sabbathgoat (explicit)

This is a smutty one-shot, but it has one of my favorite depictions of a sexual dynamic between Alastor and Lucifer in anything. There's such a deep undercurrent of trust here, a trust that has been hard-earned over years. Lucifer's handling of Alastor, knowledge of his fluctuating boundaries and internal battles when it comes to his own body and desires, combined with his intense love and tenderness towards him just bleeds through the entire fic. I would happily read a several chapter story with them just lying there cuddling and doing nothing else if it was written with this same weight. It's one of those cases where you don't need to be told how in love they are, because it's impossible to not feel it.

7. Stolen Moments by @mothballmilkshake (ratings vary by part)

This series is quite the rollercoaster! Alastor and Lucifer's relationship in it hits some great highs and also some serious lows, because they are both so so bad at this oh my god. I like that it's from Alastor's POV, because I feel like we don't get that very often, particularly in the longer fics. And I also like that it just shows us what an absolute fucking disaster he is, haha. The continuing plot line regarding Alastor's deal is interesting and groundwork is being laid for some serious shit to go down later on. We'll have to see if Lucifer and Alastor's foundation has been built strong enough by then to not crumble under the pressure. But hey, after all they've gone through, I believe in them (.....mostly).

8. Hope Against Hope by OrlesianHat (explicit)

I don't tend to be into non-canon AUs, but I found I enjoyed this one quite a lot. Lucifer is being sent on a blind date, and the person he meets isn't exactly what he expected... or is he? There's no murder involved so automatically the fic is much gentler than canon would be, particularly with Alastor, but a while after reading it I had to go digging to find it again because something about it stuck with me. I love Alastor's unrepentant selfishness, and Lucifer's long-suffering mood of 'these are things I really should not be okay with but apparently I'm okay with them because I'm still here'. If you're looking for something a little softer after all the angsty cliffhangers we get in other fics (the angsty cliffhanger in this one has been resolved, thank you), then this might be for you.

[hawberries]

holy shit, could you share some of your ratios/artis because multiple top percents is nuts and I wanna see the stats

HAHA TY! Unfortunately you've activated my yap card, so I'm really sorry about how the rest of this post is going to go. I do want to admit that it actually isn't that impressive because there's ways to sort of "game" the Akasha leaderboard system, usually by sharing high CV pieces between your characters, overbuilding crit rate and ER or finding specific leaderboards that aren't as competitive, but it still is a fun sort of low-stakes, inconsequential PVP mode that I enjoy! This is my Akasha page. As you can see my Emilie and Kinich are not doing well.

One notable way I've "cheated" is the fact that my Chiori's ranking is on the Jade Cutter leaderboard, but that's not a real place, because my Chiori is on a Wolfs-Fang. I'm thinking of going for her sword next time she reruns, actually, so she may lose her ranking soon. The boards only look at your artifacts and then make their own assumptions, so board ranking is a VERY poor reflection of in-game performance. Another example is for any Childe mains who have him on Nymph's Dream: it's not actually that good of a set for him! The boards overestimate the uptime, but in actual gameplay, especially if you look at International speedruns, the uptime is bad and he often performs better with mixed sets. However, the difference is not likely to be felt in a practical scenario outside of speedruns and high-level play, so it's reasonable to keep him there for the valour, since he's still going to be good enough.

the reason my Mualani is so high even though I am not a Mualani main is because 1) she's so new that everyone is still working on her domain and using placeholder pieces and 2) I hit her with the yassify beam (gave her this absolutely stupid Hydro dmg goblet which is by far the best piece on my entire account). It just gets passed around between all my watery guys depending on whose personal damage I'm depending on the most at the time, but since Mualani is a hypercarry and Ayato and Yelan are more supportive, it makes the most sense to leave it on her. I expect her to drop a lot in the rankings once people have a chance to farm the Codex set more.

I'm very chuffed with my Navia's build because I recently crafted a new feather for her with the artifact transmuter. Feathers are not broadly recommended to craft, but Navia's feather was by far the most obvious weak link on my account – in the sense that not only was it so bad that it would be easy to get an upgrade (it had 4 low rolls of crit damage and NO other useful stats, not even lower-value ones like atk% or ER) but the rest Navia's pieces were good enough that I had no reason to still be actively farming her domain. Anyway, I got quite lucky with the crafted feather, though as you can see it's still easily the weakest of all her pieces. This is enough to tide me over until Nighttime Whispers is in the strongbox :D

I've worked really hard on my Xiao's build – I've strongboxed 364 Vermilion pieces to date – but Xiao, being an older character with dedicated mains, has a very competitive board, so I don't expect to ever get much higher than this. Isn't that feather disgusting, though? I farmed Marechaussee domain a lot but never got a build good enough to replace this one, especially considering I'm on Jade and therefore about to overcap on crit rate just by sneezing. He has 97% crit rate WITH A CDMG HAT, I want to point out! I am considering crafting a circlet for him as his current one is relatively weak, but that's a problem for future Phee to think about, since I'll want to rebalance his build anyway once I get Xianyun – he'll need less ER and less crit rate.

What level of nerd am I about combat stats in the video game Jenshin Intact? I do my own damage calculations to see which pieces are best! That's why Xiao is on an attack goblet instead of an Anemo DMG one 😔

Also… see how my Wanderer is top 2%? I still don't have an EM goblet on the Flower of Paradise Lost set. RNG is really so funny sometimes. Anyway, at the moment I've allotted myself 6 weeks of farming time to try and get Emilie at least a good 2pc 2pc, after which I'll probably go back to making my Kinich not suck!