#i justified it to my bf and he thinks its a good idea and the hr person said if the current old man gate keeper doesnt return I have the jo

[sensitivedead]

.

[corhore]

So… Zeb Wells totally intended on the kids actually being MJ’s and Paul’s biologically and chickened out (rightfully so, fucking idiot) at the last minute right?

Because in issue 24, Rabin has no idea the kids exist, nor that they’re in the bunker. In issue 25, it’s implied he creates them and the first person he meets when he attacks the bunker is one of the kids. And then issue 26 reveals he created them as a tracking beacon to follow MJ back to her universe, except he could already travel universes and follow and locate her at will way back in issue 21, BEFORE the kids were ever a thing. And the farm life that the “happy family” lives shows they were safe for years, not under constant attack/danger like we assumed, meaning MJ and Paul totally had time to *make* the kids the old fashioned way. Plus Rabin saying he made the kids look like them so they’d get attached more easily feels like some quickly made-up bullshit to justify why she’d stay with Paul if the kids were adopted, instead of co-parenting with Peter.

And in the MJ/Black Cat spin-off, MJ is repeatedly said to have vanished for six months, whilst issue 25 reveals she was gone less than one and her kids are referred to by a demon lord who has been told nothing about them - he just knows stuff because he’s a demon - as MJ’s progeny - not adopted, biological.

They changed it last minute to save his ass.

And then in issue 26 they have Rabin call Paul “Your precious Paul” to MJ, have MJ defending a genocide enabler against Peter, which certainly seems intended to imply she loves him, especially when she compares the two, tells Peter she knows everything about Paul and tells him Paul has never lied to her (which he has, about many very big things, so gaslighting too now) and has MJ protesting “Spider-Man is not my boyfriend!” when Kamala calls him her bf. Yeah he definitely wanted to make his OCship canon and is pissed he wasn’t allowed (GOOD, fuck him).

Fucking idiot genuinely thought he could permanently split up Peter and MJ, remove the possibility of Mayday from canon for good and fans would be ok with it.

I think your giving Wells too much credit.

The truth is that he has NO plan for the kids or Paul. If he did then they would actually get explored and fleshed out in the book. The fact that Paul and the kids have had zero spotlight other than one issue (and the girl having two names cus the editors/Wells didn't remember her name) is evidence that Wells didn't care. Hell they only appear in like 7 issues across 27 issues most of which they do nothing.

From the very beginning he didn't care at all about the Kids/Paul nor MJ. He just wanted to writer a Spidey book with Peter working with a "reformed" Norman and be with Black Cat. Paul and the kids was just a dumb way to get MJ outta the way.

The truth is you can make this premise MJ dating another guy and adopting kids good. You can, but the execution has to be fucking spot on especially with MJ, but Wells not only isn't a good enough writer to pull that off, but he didn't care about the premise to begin with. Paul and the kids are nothing characters. They are props. Literal props to stir up controversy and to make people angry.

What were left with is the kids are gone, Paul is still around and MJ is sad. Are they still a couple? Were they ever even in love? What happens to them now? All questions everyone wants (good) answers to, but Wells doesn't care to answer for at least several months cus MJ isn't appearing in the book for the foreseeable future.

And then theres the legit textbook fridging of Ms Marvel a character whos appears in a whopping 12 pages overall.

Its legitimately insane how baffling poor this book is. This is career endingly bad. I fear Zeb Wells isn't writing another Marvel comic for a very long time after this.

Btw he's also writing Deadpool 3 and The Marvels.

[astrologysvt]

SVT as Boyfriends - Vernon

Happy Birthday Nonie~ 🎉 You confuse me constantly and that makes me want to baby you 💛

anonymous asked: im not sure if u do these kinds of posts so feel free to ignore if u don’t but can i request vernon as a bf according to his chart? i love ur blog! 💗

this reading is more geared towards their habits in relationships and romance! i did end up talking a little about intimacy. i’m not putting any kind of nsfw warning because this is extremely pg and it’s honestly a gigantic stretch to even categorize it as that. but if that’s something you’re incredibly averse to i wanted to be sure to say it here so you can skip this reading if that’s the case~ also, i ended up using “you” generally because writing “s/o” was getting tiring. 

so his chart really strongly indicates that he’s very independent and thrives when he’s allowed to be a free spirit. 

but there’s also a part of him that is deeply committed through that cap venus.

super reliable boyfriend, and that’s also in due part to his scorpio moon. 

he would drop absolutely everything if you needed him.

he is super super protective and will absolutely throw hands if someone were to say anything negative about you. 

even with a moon trine mars that makes him slow to anger, his principals are so strong through his aqua placements, scorpio moon, and cap venus that he would absolutely not stand for it. 

this would be one of the few times he could justify resorting to anger, and while he may not attempt to hunt the offender down, you will definitely notice a dramatic change in demeanor as he rarely ever lets this side show.

and then when you take that sense of being protective and pair it with his cap influence, he really likes taking care of you. 

he’s very competent in that regard, and he shows this in practical ways like getting you lunch, giving advice, maybe offering to help with work. things like that. 

this also makes him very receptive for when you return the favor! like when woozi prepared a meal for him that one time when they were overseas, you could see how touched he was by the gesture and the thoughtfulness behind it.  

he’s also very emotionally intuitive thanks to that scorpio moon and pisces mars. 

he’s super observant and would get really really good at reading you over time.

may not express his support in so many words thanks to his moon square mercury making him pretty awkward with it -- this placement makes it hard for his aqua moon to convey how feeling/intuitive he is -- but he will certainly let you know he is there if you need him.

i also find scorpio placements don’t really put their feelings in so many words.

even with an emphasis on intellect with an aqua sun and mercury, he’s bound to not be the quickest to shower you in verbal love/appreciation and is more willing to let his actions speak for himself. 

if he’s going to say anything, it’s going to be sincere and straight to the point. 

and what’s interesting is that he’s got this scorpio moon, so i can imagine him actually being a pretty possessive boyfriend regardless of how chill he is normally.

BUT I DO WANNA MAKE IT CLEAR that that doesn’t necessarily mean he’d be a restrictive boyfriend either. 

especially with those cap/scorpio/aqua influences that would really respect someone who was their own person and didn’t apologize for that. tbh i think the last thing he’d wanna do is restrict that. 

i think well developed scorpio placements honestly just like having proof that you are committed and most certainly their s/o.

would probably say things like “that’s my ____” just to assert this fact very casually, affectionately, even playfully.

really honestly just likes knowing and being reminded that you’re his, may it be through gestures or physical proof (you wearing his clothes, promise rings, you going out of your way to do something for him, hickeys.)

his moon sextile venus makes him very romantic and affectionate. 

he feels a lot of love and is very emotionally invested in his partner in this very protective scorpio manner, and thanks to its relationship to venus he goes about expressing this love in very practical yet classy ways.

he has a tendency to randomly do the most thoughtful romantic gestures. 

he does have this free spirit that’s pretty easily distracted so it may not be the most obvious or well planned gestures. 

but it’d be things like. if he’s out and sees something that reminds him of you he’ll bring it home, may it be flowers or your favorite food. 

it’s interesting because, as out-there as he is himself, he really craves a sense of predictability in relationships.

this cap brings a sense of tradition and loves the idea of stable, long-term relationships. 

he’d bring a strong sense of reliability and practicality to relationships. 

he’s very dedicated but simultaneously very levelheaded and realistic with you. 

scorpio moon can give him a bit of a jealous streak. 

but i’ll say it again: that may not be as bad as it sounds if his emotional control is good. which IT IS thanks to his moon trine mars.

his moon trine mars means these feelings never result to actual anger or action. he’ll let you know his comfort levels, but it’s highly unlikely he’d act out negatively due to feelings of jealousy.

he may just get a little extra handsy, affectionate, or may ask for reassurance! 

tho i do think it’s interesting to note he may not normally be the most physically affectionate guy. 

he has such airy placements that he isn’t going to subconsciously reach out without noticing if that makes sense. 

if he’s reaching out himself, it’s probably very intentional and more than likely with the intention to show support or as little random “i love yous” throughout the day. 

as i said before, he’s rather awkward with putting these things into words so body language may be a huge factor in communicating with him in relationships which makes him pretty purposeful with it as well. 

this kinda loops back in to how much of a lone wolf he is sometimes -- not that he doesn’t like affection, it’s just not in his instinctual wiring as he’s pretty solitary in that brain of his. 

his well aspected moon and pisces mars, however, makes it very easy for him to accept affection and makes him pretty physical expressive.

he may need space every now again, but will probably very easily let you know when that is (may it be verbally or through body language) and is open to however cuddly you wanna be the rest of the time.

his pisces mars makes him a very sensitive and emotional boyfriend, especially in relationship to intimacy.

i think it’s important to mention because he has this very airy, independent, almost detached attitude about him on the surface. 

you really do get the sense that he’s on another planet, or that he could potentially be OVERLY practical, logical, and not easily perturbed by emotion -- but that is absolutely not the case behind closed doors. 

lol okay maybe he’s still on another planet, but he isn’t removed/indifferent. rather he’s very attentive and sincere. 

this is where he kind of loses his sense of practicality and can be pretty all-giving and obsessive. 

pisces influence on the part of mars means he takes physical relationships very seriously and sees it as a non-verbal expression of love and intention. 

he also has a very subtle, gentle, traditional way of approaching intimacy.

it’s genuinely an experience sharing that part of himself with someone, and it’d be in those moments that you would truly understand the full extent of his feelings. 

not only that, but he’s very emotionally sensitive in this regard.

allowing someone in to that degree can actually be a very daunting experience for him. 

not necessarily if it were a merely physical relationship without the romantic/intimate association, but knowing that there is is this devotion involved makes the concept of allowing someone to see and understand the depth of this side to him a really hard thing to wrap his head around.

this is heightened by that cap venus that doesn’t take to commitment lightly. 

with a pisces influence there is kind of a switch they have with regard to emotionally packed situations -- they’re either detached out of risk of those feelings becoming all-consuming, or extremely feeling and potentially open to this all-consuming aspect and to them that is an extremely vulnerable feeling especially with another person involved.

and so for him to go into those romantic situations and decide to be open and sensitive, that can be a really overwhelming thing especially with so many placements that value individuality and composure. 

ESPECIALLY with a scorpio moon which is already an incredibly intense placement to have, there’s a great deal of investment that’s kind of hard for him to face head-on and this is honestly because he can hardly fathom these depths himself. 

and then you throw in this super airy influence through his aqua and this intensity within him may fly completely under the radar until he’s forced to face it.

it IS important to note that his moon trine mars both kind of heighten the intensity of these situations, while also giving him better tools to process them. 

his scorpio moon also means that he’s really fascinated with these feelings even though they’re very daunting. 

it can be “scary” but he isn’t particularly deterred if he trusts you because of how all-in scorpio placements can be as they love the concept of delving past the point of no return. 

if he’s at that point where he’s so deeply committed, his scorpio is going to give him the confidence to take that step. 

but because this part of him is so emotionally sensitive and reactive, he may retreat every now and then. 

it is important not to interpret this as indifference/distance, often times he doesn’t know exactly who he wants to be some days and so you kinda gotta be okay with the unexpected. 

this is simply because he gets overwhelmed and needs space, otherwise it just feels like he’s staring into the sun non-stop. 

but if you learn how to read him, his energies, his body language/rhythm, you’ll understand how big and bleeding his heart is and how he expresses this, even when he’s not 100% there.

lololol all of this sounds SO DRAMATIC. 

it’s funny writing this because vernon has such an air forward chart. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if, for some WILD reason, he read this reading and thought this was a dramatic description as well. 

he really is his own person and i imagine this reading feels super left of field and honestly that’s because it IS. 

a lot of his chart is pretty hard to pin-down and generally more focused on developing the self than depending on external forces like relationships, and so it’d take a lot for him to get to this point.

you can tell even now it’s hard to imagine what he’d be like in a relationship he’s so singular, and i imagine even his members know there is a bit of a wall despite how much an open book he is.

i really think that it’d take the right person for him to place such a strong importance on emotion in order to make this reading super relevant to him. 

his aqua and cap are pretty hard to convince and are logical/intellectual enough that it’s often hard for those placements to surrender that mental control over to emotion/the intangible. 

and so I don’t imagine this is a part of his chart that he would fully be aware of until he’s in an incredibly committed relationship and these placements are tested by being forced to accommodate someone else so intimately. 

because otherwise he’s his own unit. these parts aren’t scary to him by himself, but they’re naturally very private so sharing these aspects is what switches things up. 

generally he’s a very thoughtful boyfriend! 

his weird habits are going to stay intact because of how independent he is and, if his chart is really well developed, he’d never let his individuality be compromised by a relationship. 

tho i will not lie, a scorpio moon and pisces mars may put him at risk of losing himself a bit as that scorpio moon has a tendency towards obsession, while that pisces mars can really easily get absorbed and lost in the case of love. 

but with that being said, i think his aqua and cap are so established in his chart through his work and personal values that i don’t think he is in any actual danger.   

so back to my main point. 

he has such a strong understanding of himself and his life/goals through that aqua/cap, but there is so much in his chart that is really eager to bring someone into that. 

he’s def the type of guy that makes it hard to fathom how committed he could possibly be on the surface, but once the relationship deepens, it gets clearer and clearer how romantic and devoted he is. 

and also how simple and straight forward he actually is about these things, which in a way adds to the romance and earnestness. 

[indecisive-v]

NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

[jennyboom21]

[All images and non plain text are my own for context. — JB21]

“I spent some of last night imagining the possible contents of a phone call from Ryan Murphy to Taylor Swift in May, 2012, with Ryan complaining to TS about Dianna's hooking up with Naya Rivera on that publicity junket to London. (Since, otherwise, how did Taylor know that her "Come Back, Be Here" fears were justified and it was time to start writing songs about "a Gemini who'd never lie"?

I don't think Naya was dreaming permanent Nayanna dreams, so I doubt she actually sent TS a pic of Dianna at work below with various insulting emojis or anything like that.) I'd already believed that Ryan was the one who trolled Taylor about "her song" being in the "I Do" episode in 2013, even though the general consensus was that was Dianna. (But if you've gone to all the trouble to keep your guest-appearance a secret, why would you blow up your own spot like that?) So if I posit one "naughty Ryan" call to Taylor, why not two? The fact that Taylor called the [soon-to-be-revealed] troll "my friend" at Glee merely means she got played; in Taylor's opinion, that's what happened with Katy Perry and Justin Bieber, so I could see it happening with Ryan, too.

(Yes, yes, Dianna would have to have been incredibly stupid and optimistic to think she could have kept the Glee episode a secret from Taylor, even if TS wasn't watching the series any longer. [As noted, why should she? As far as she knew, Dianna wasn't on the show.] Did Di really think that the episode would air and no Swiftie in the world would tweet at Taylor "OMG, Dianna was on Glee last night!! Did you watch??" or something similar?

But the alternative is that Dianna kept the whole appearance a secret and then was going to be "hey, remember how we nearly broke up when I had sex with Naya last year? Well, what you don't know is that Ryan had me back on set for an episode and my and Naya's characters had sex, too! Isn't that awesome? Happy Valentine's Day!" I mean, really? Even Dianna couldn't do enough coke to make that seem like a good idea, I don't think.

Obviously, what Dianna should have done is sit Taylor down when she got the script and talked about how she wanted to do the guest spot, but she could see that it might be difficult because of her history with Naya and would Taylor be all right with it? And then Taylor would have drunkenly yelled at her and thrown her phone across the room, and Dianna would have put on her football helmet [as in "Stay, Stay, Stay"] and they would have talked it out. And Dianna wearing the football helmet would once again have been the cutest image in all of history. Sigh.

But of course, Taylor might have been on Harry Styles PR duty when Dianna got the script. Damn you, Styles! Grr…)” — Research Girl, That Hell Site, April 29th, 2020

————————————————————————

“One look at a red-carpet interview clip of Dianna--fair skin aglow, eyes too transfixed on Lea to glance at the camera--convinces me that the girl is/was eminently capable of seducing Naya and turning the tables on T-Swift. But if Swift hadn't cheated on Dianna and the latter was guilty of said (👀 I’m not sure when this would be, no date was mentioned. — JB21), why wouldn't Agron have had some variation of the talk you describe, the scene was her job, the show must go on, you (Tay) should understand that more anything... and instead blow the whole thing up. (Had Naya been one of TS's conquests?)

From what Im inferring Ryan would only play such a serpentine role if he had a vested interest in breaking up Swiftgron. Was it a drag on Glee shippers and hence the bottom line? Or did TS and DA's respective managers decide Swiftgron was becoming a liability for their interests?

So RG, how many of TS's bf's have been hook-ups, paramours, besides the ones with cute neologisms? The mind reels, but not as freely as yours, so please indulge, I'm sure you have some thoughts or even notes. BTW, Its my opinion that "the Squad" (very similar to a certain A+ actor's set up of male friends) was set up primarily to give Taylor cover to at least move freely with her girl du jour.” — Anon Response to Research Girl’s Above Post, April 29th, 2020

[the-dimensionmaker]

Oh boy.... where... WHERE... do i begin with this... i had to think about this for a LONG time... cause i know if i talk about this and try and give Aidan more attention... then my friend and great artist, Raisha gs will be upset with me... and.... will probably block me.... leaving me here to grieve again for the mistakes i did...... so if Raisha some how knows that i have a twitter acc... first off... hi dude... second off dont block me... yhe worst you can do is block someone for trying to get something out of they're situation so they can feel better... im not saying that your a bad person... im not saying that that your trying to control my life... all im saying is that.. please... understand that i need to do this... if people are doing this against people like Lui or Mini Ladd or even Shane Dawson... then i should do the same for a guy who has did this... dont worry... i blocked him on twitter.... so dont worry about him trying to find out about what im talking about... ok...? I hope you understand...

so for starters if you dont know who i am, i am the Dimensionmaker. Someone who wants to make animations for yt, who wants to make his own games, want do lets plays, and even talk to you viewers... i have a rough life... filled with nothing but people lying to me, people cheating on me without a reason (the numbers of people who did that is now 61 in total...), people lying ABOUT me, nothing but fear, and many more... Jaiden or Kitty Courtnie And Linka, is... the first gf i ever had. She was... the worst as well. She never listened, didnt care, and then cheated... then we have... Aidan2003, who is the main topic of this...

We start from what caused all of this to happen... when i was in middle school still i was on roblox... i had great friends... one of them named herself Jaidenanimations (not the real one...) also known as Courtnie... she was the nicest.. at the time she had a bf named Dud.. (btw Dud is Older then both me AND courtnie.. he acted like a complete creep around her..) but fsr.. Dud broke up with her.... someone named Ethan dated her too... but then broke up with her... and who knows if he is older then courtnie at the time... she was now sad... so i decided to become her bf... and when i did... we were... THE BEST... we loved each other more then anything... she would without me asking, want to do a drp with me... she wanted to come to my house... she wanted to meet me irl... she was better then anyone...things got a bit worst... Jaiden was now enemies with everyone... (Ethan, Dud, Jonathan, etc...) she doesnt want them to follow her... so i decied to be a bit strict.. and tell her to NOT go to any of the roblox games till she blocks them... and she lies to me... saying that... "She wasnt able to block them as a crack was CONVENIENTLY on the block and unfriend button..." and when ever we have a plan or another idea on what can actually work... she lied her way saying thaings like oh.. "My Phone Is Dead" and such.. so much in fake that it was... PREDICTABLE... she then started to hang out with them... i became a bit more stricter... then my mental health became bad... she didnt listen... it made me feel like nobody listens to me... leading me into a depression... i felt like nobody liked me... nobody listens to me... nobody even cared about me... i wanted to die... a... bunch of times... most of the time... she never cared... then... on yt......... she cheated on me... with 2 people who were OLDER THEN ME AND HER COMBINED (being both Jonathan and Dud... keep that in mind...)... i noticed this.... i was FURIOUS..... i yelled at the thing i thought was a girl i Loved... a girl i could trust... a Girl that i thought was LOYAL..... then her parents got involved calling me rude words like European Boy (i think it was something else) "just because my skin was black".. keep that in mind as well... "her parents deleted her discord acc For Good..." (keep thaf in mind...)... then... i sobbed... again... and again... i tried to go and find people who cares about me or loved me... but then they cheated... one by one... my mental health became WORST.... i tried many methods... me having more then one girlfriend... having them make promises due to what has happen to me... being nice... being strict..... nothing worked.......... my life was miserable...... i didnt finally be able to talk to courtnie and get her to break up with Jonathan... she was happy that she did... but then she didnt come back to roblox... but then betrayed me yet again........

I asked one of my friends on if they are able to talk to Courtnie...they couldn't... all except for one person one of them know... Aidan... i talked to Aidan and he actually was nice... but then... he started to act like im a pedo... wanna know why...? Get this... JAIDEN LIED ABOUT HER AGE THE WHOLE TIME. when i was 13 she was 10 ALL ALONG. She lied to me for YEARS... saying she was my age.... i blocked Aidan and never talked to him ever again... and jaiden finally talks to me and we were in good terms... but then... Aidan came in.... saying jaiden has caused alot of crap to him... i believed him and became his friend only to be forced into a group where this friends (ETHAN AND IVAN BEING ONE OF THEM) could harass me... then... we go to his videos... his videos are false... they barely show proof... he says points that are completely incorrect.... hell here is some (not all cause i dont want to be texting all night) he said in them...

- "I Know Where You Live And I Know Everything About You"

He says this yet he assumed i was a 25 year old man. Even tho im now 15. At the time i was 14 now im 15. Plus he doxxedy house. And stole my IP ADDRESS... that right there makes him seem more like a creep. Courtnie without me asking told me where she lived. This guy STOLE MY IP ADDRESS AND FUCKING DOXXED MY HOUSE. That right there will show that he is a bad person who is just lying to ruin my life... speaking of lying

- "Schroederluvr Is A Minor"

This proves that he didnt even talk to her... she isnt a minor... hell looking at her compared to me... she is OLDER THEN ME.. SHE IS 20 SOMETHING YEARS OLD. I Didnt Harass Her Anyways so why is he saying that i did.

- "Lillie is innocent"

Lillie on Instagram literally said in her own words that she is bullying me because of me being depressed. Thats jot justified AT ALL.

"Klara's post is about me"

No its not. Its about lillie and her friends. Who BTW IS DMING ME SENDING A PICTURE OF SOME STUPID PICTURE OF A INCINEROAR. sure yes it doesnt seem to bad but its EXTREMELY ANNOYING.

- "Telling the police that Aidan doxxed my house and Stole my IP Address wont do anything"

It will, Aidan. It literally says that no matter how you got it or why you got it, you will be send to jail.

- "TALKING to minors is bad"

Wrong. If thats the case then someone like WILDCAT, VANOSS, H2ODELIRIOUS, MARKIPLIER, CORYXKENSHIN, AND MANY MANY MORE would be swatted and in jail. Its not Illegal to talk to them.

- "that Katie is innocent"

Katie has done a MOUNTAIN of stuff to me. So much so that even the nicest people of all time wont be nice to her. She isnt in the right. AT. ALL.

- "that telling people to leave me alone is harassing them"

Its not harassment. Seriously. A NORMAL HUMAN BEING WOULD KNOW THAT IST NOR HARASSMENT TO TELL SOMEONE TO GO AWAY OR LEAVE THEM ALONE

- "That im a predator yet youw ont go after Jonathan and Dud"

He literally spares them but not me. Jonathan was 17 i think. And Dud was i think 19. Now he's probably 20 OR 21 YEARS OLD. And you STILL come at me for just DATING someone who LIED ABOUT HER AGE.

- "that i was... Harassing? xxlitle_dummyxx"

Even tho she literally wants to be rude while im trying to help... wow... just fucking WOW

- "that not telling people your name, nor putting your name on your acc is a bad thing"

No.. no its not... hell we look at a bunch of youtubers doing that. Hell there are a bunch of people i KNOW that doesnt say they're real name. It's THEY'RE CHOICE. Not yours Aidan.

Anyways.... then to make things worst he called me the N word a bunch of times then say that he "didnt" because i didnt have proof... wanna know why? BECAUSE HE BLOCKED ME AFTER THAT SO I WASNT ABLE TO TAKE A VIDEO OF THIS. Then he made a fake conversation between me and jaiden. I can tell its fake by just looking at the pfps and names...

I decided to delete all the posts about him on Instagram... not because he beated me... but because i wanted Raisha gs to be happy... to not hate me...... to not block me... thats something that Effects me when it comes to someone like Raisha or Brsstar... i worry that if i make one mistake for what ever reason... ill be blocked... so im hoping that Raisha understands that i cant hold all of this in anymore... if Aidan are exposing me for shit i didn't do... if PEOPLE are coming out to finally say the truth about someone... then i should as well.... i hope you understand if you made it this far...

So... here's what i have to say for the conclusion of this... if you all see the name... "Aidan2003"... block him... REPORT HIM... do what ever you like to him.... he wants to hurt me for shit i didnt do... so why should i say to not do the same to him... he is not a good person... he never was....

This is The Creator Of Multiverses... and i will soon make other posts, dont worry ^^.

Till then my fell Universers..

[atariince]

I read your opinion on Luthien and I was intrigued about what you considered the selfish side of her. Would you mind elaborate ? I say this because the tale of Beren and Luthien Is the most unispiring tale -at least for me- sacrifying lives for the sake of two lovers

Hello, and thanks for your message and question!

First things first: You, I, we don’t have to feel ecstatic about every characters and every storylines, and you don’t have to justify your preferences. That character doesn’t appeal to you? All right, then! There are plenty of other characters to focus on! (just, you know, don’t shit on people who actually like the characters you’re not fond of). ;) 

I do have a very complicated and ambivalent relationship to the story of Beren and Lúthien; I really can’t say I dislike it, not at all, but it tends to upset me. You ask about my mention of the “selfishness” of Lúthien… [To be honest, I don’t really remember what I said in the post you mention (which is probably a rather old one???) so I can only hope that I’ll be coherent and not too repetitive (generally speaking, my opinion hasn’t changed over the years, but it mighthave evolved)] -  I can understand that my opinion might seem confusing, but in fact, you answered the question yourself: The sacrifice of many for the sake of one couple… (that’s a schematic presentation, yes). But it’s a bit more complicated than that. I actually like the character of Lúthien per se. I like her as a strong, a bit creepy, dog-eared lady who remains blind to a lot of things. I like her being prideful and I like her being FLAWED. You know why? Because I can relate. I’m not perfect, far from it. Nobody is. And if I cannot see my own flaws in a character, I’ll have a hard time being interested in them.

So my problem with the Lay of Leithian has nothing to do with the characters themselves - whether you like them or not, they remain interesting – it has to do with the treatment of the characters, the (frustrating) perspective adopted by the narrator(s), the way the couple seems to be forgiven deeds which would have been considered criminal/terrible/unforgivable if they had been committed by other characters (follow my gaze).

And yes, I can’t deny that I have my own biased reading because of my preference for the Fëanorians, but I try to be as objective as possible (though I can’t be completely objective. I mean, who could?)

So. 

Lúthien is a strong female character, steadfast and fearless, and that’s something I definitely like about her. Now, I’m not fond of the “perfect lady” aura given to the character, you know? This idea that she’s flawless and whatever she does is a good thing. Some sort of a saint (if there were saints in Arda). At no point the narrative voice questions her decisions, she’s always in the light. She is presented as perfect and every other characters seem to agree, no matter what she decides to do. I find all this very irritating, although I guess that’s also what the genre requires (I’ll come back to that point at the end of the post). 

Yet, let’s keep in mind that Lúthien is not like the other Eldar; her mother is an Ainu, and that element is extremely important: she is half divine. It’s crucial because it means that

How could the other Eldar and humans not be, at least, fascinated by her? 

It must be complicated for the Eldar to actually criticise her… I mean, she’s the offspring of demiurgic power!

She must have a specific fate (if Eru allowed her mom to become incarnate and to have a kid with an Elda, He must have some plans)(spoilers : He does)

She must have a different approach of reality, a different way to feel the world, to live in the world, to be concerned with the world and its inhabitants. 

She is powerful and has powers that no other Eldar could ever dream of, which makes her somehow dangerous.

This being said, let’s return the matter at stake:  your question about this self-interest of her, and the sacrifices it implies; not the sacrifice of Beren or Lúthien for one another, but the almost death of thousands of Eldar for them to be together (and I won’t talk of here of Finrod’s choices and his gruesome death because that’s a matter which I’ve already talked about at length – here for instance)

Besides, I mostly agree with Litamande’s interpretation of the Nargothrond episode, so I’ll waste no time repeating it and I advise you to read if that’s not already done. I’ll just point out a few selfish elements to actually elaborate on the “selfish side of Lúthien” (although it doesn’t mean I blame her for being selfish):

1. Lúthien would let a kinslaying happen to be with her lover 

By disobeying her father and by running to Nargothrond, she took the risk of bringing her father’s wrath to Nargothrond.

I know, I know: the texts say that Thingol gets mad because of the Fëanorians' plan to get her married to Celegorm (mind you, I don’t say the Fëanorians don’t have anything to be blamed for, they do, but that’s not the point of this post) but something tells me that, no matter the nature of the Fëanorians' message, Thingol would have been furious - marriage proposal or not, Thingol could have very well played the diplomatic card, discussed the whole thing (or at least  pretended to), got his daughter back and then told the Fëanorians to fuck off. Instead, he prepared his army for an eventual kinslaying. I mean, thanks to the Fëanorians' message, he knows where daughter is, he knows she is relatively “safe” in Nargothrond – and the Fëanorians are just a small impediment which Thingol could get rid of without killing the entire population of Nargothrond…. so I tend to believe that, at this point, Thingol was so offended and upset and panicked in general terms that he would have been mad, not matter who would have said “I found your daughter!”

And I do believe that Lúthien knew it, or at least, considered that it could be a possibility. She’s not stupid. She’s definitely not that naïve.

Likewise, after the Tol Sirion episode, she would rather stay with Beren instead of going back to Doriath, even if that decision leads to a war of elves against elves. It is clearly given in the Lay that Thingol was ready to go to war to get her back, and although I can understand why she wants to stay with her boyfriend, the lives of hundreds of elves are at stake! And coming from the heir of a sovereign, it’s rather… unpolitical, to say the least. And yes, selfish. Now, I’m not saying she shouldn’t be selfish! On the contrary. Please girl, do what you will! 

What upsets me is that she’s still presented as a flawless saint by the narrator, by the other characters, by the Valar and nobody ever tells her that her decisions almost created a war. How frustrating is that? 

2. L&B let a kinslaying happen to keep the Nauglamir in the family

She and Beren have come back from Mandos, they’re in Tol Galen, they have a lovely kid and they talk to no mortal. And they have a Silmaril because Thingol’s dead and Doriath is in a pretty bad state. We know the Fëanorians dare not attack Lúthien, but she knew the risk of keeping a Silmaril, didn’t she? She knew they would do their best to take it back after her death. And although I understand why the Silmaril is symbolically important to her (they died for it , her dad died for it, etc.) she knows what it means to keep a Silmaril; In some versions (“The Nauglafring”, “the Quenta”… see also “The Tale of Years” in HoME XI), Melian herself warns (wrathfully) her and Beren against it… even if Lúthien stops wearing it in some texts, they never ever think about giving it back to the Fëanorians… You’ll tell me that they are the Dispossessed, they can’t have it back anyway, or there would be no story at all. 

I think what upsets me the most here, is not that she decided to keep it no matter what, but the treatment of it. Again. When anyone else in the texts desires a Silmaril or tries to keep a Silmaril, there’s always a warning somewhere, something implying, “this character is becoming greedy and is making a huge mistake blahblah”. But not here, at no point she’s is given as potentially making a mistake, she’s neither depicted as prideful, nor greedy nor anything  – same thing with Beren when he tries to pick up the second Silmaril from the crown of Melkor ; yes he raises hell with his mistake and paid for it, but no one blames him. In the “Quenta” it is even said that he failed to take all the three jewels because of the “knife of the treacherous dwarves”, as if he had nothing to blame himself for… You see why I’m upset. The narrative perspective is completely unfair.

3. The Mandos episode

It is not about Lúthien’s selfishness but it is a fair example of those prejudices. Lúthien is said to be the only one who managed to bring pity into Námo‘s heart. Yet she’s not the only mourning… the Bragollach had happened roughly a decade before the L&B’s story. There are thousands of people in Middle Earth and in Mandos (and in Valinor) weeping and mourning a sibling, a lover, aparent, a child – Lúthien lost her bf whom she met a couple of years before but “her sorrow [is] deeper than their sorrows”??? She is actually given as the one feeling the greatest grief ever? I just… No.

Well, actually, it is no surprise that Námo is moved by her song : she is divine! Her mom sang during the creation of the world…!

Alright yeah, I’m being cynical, I admit it. But what I’m trying to do is not to tell you what’s good or bad or what you should think of the whole thing. I’m barely trying to offer you another perspective, to point at what is not totally clear, what doesn’t make sense to me, what upsets me, so you can maybe see it from another point of view. It’s always an interesting thing to do, even if in the end you don’t change your mind.

And believe it or not, the Lay of Leithian is one of my favourite texts! And maybe it is precisely because of all those elements that confuse me and/or irritate me! At least it gives me something to think about, some new gaps to fill with my imagination!

Now, and this is VERY important, let’s keep in mind that the first Beren and Lúthien writings go back to Tolkien’s youth, and that what Tolkien wanted to do was to write a “heroic-romance from the realm of Faërie" inspired by medieval literature and ancestral folklore. He obviously knew what he was doing, he knew the codes of that kind of literature, and all those elements which I pointed out were carefully wrought by the author; he was aware of the characteristics of the genre and toyed with them, proof is the parodical commentary of the Lay of Leithian by CS Lewis. And come on, technically speaking, the Lay is a masterpiece, if not a feat!  Besides, we also know how dear this particular love story was to Tolkien, and without making it a metaphor of his own life, we can’t ignore this aspect. Therefore, my criticisms are neither literary, scholarly ones, nor personal ones against the author. They’re barely the reflections of a very subjective feeling (and I strongly emphasize that word) of my own, regarding those events and the way they are rendered within the whole history of Middle Earth, as in intradiegetic vision of them.

And to conclude, if Lúthien had not fought for her love story to be a thing, therewould have been no Dior, no Elwing, no Earendil… it is a part of the whole narrative line, of the whole scheme that lead to the salvation of the people of Middle Earth in the 1st Age. SO yes, her selfishness is somehow rightful, it has a purpose, it is for the GREATER GOOD. And again, what bothers me is not Lúthien herself, it is the fact that her decisions are never questioned, by no one at any point. And I believe that if some readers don’t find this tale inspiring, as you put it, it is precisely because of the treatment of L&B ; they’re perfect, unworldly perfect, how could we easily relate to them?

[grethan-allmance]

So, I was sent this. Shown this? I was kinda, 'why did she reply??' As my immediate reaction. Like in this *global* pandemic, there literally isn't a good justification for international travel, no matter how she tried to justify herself. 'The country allows me, so it has to be fine.' Ha. People with enough brain cells to rub together and understanding should know it was more like 'strongly advised against, do insist under your own risk and the risk of people around you.'

The comments in that post said she handled it 'beautifully', and I'm like 'no, fuck no, that was bad. She was practically saying 'Sorry for your loss, but I didn't do anything wrong.' That's basically it. The travel itself is already wrong thing to do in this kind of climate. Meeting your bf is not a good enough emergency to risk of more spread. If someone isn't sick or dying, then it's not good enough reason, period. Like, nada. 'I feel so stifled', 'I miss my bf', 'I need to travel', I, I, I. Like, this kind of thinking is why this pandemic last so fucking long. Gosh, this is something that actually affects other people. The fucking selfishness because they can't stand doing what other people also has to go through, do go through, managed to go through, under the name of protecting other people close to them is so mind-blowing.

If you've been following me, you should already know I had no specific dislike for K, at all. I didn't. This isn't out of hate. If Ethan got his visa and gone through with it, then I'd want him on blast too. I didn't even like when they go back to Jersey and risk the exposure to their Mom or to their grannies, considering LA is one of the high risk places, but at least the place they live at in NJ doesn't look like it's packed like in the big city, and maintaining social distance should be easier. But, international travel seems like a really bad idea. If nothing happens, then that's great. But I wouldn't consider the risk worth it though, tbh.

(In the little corner of my dark mind, another of my reaction was murmuring 'if Grayson ends up getting it, then they'll actually be sorry'. I hope that doesn't happen though, seems like if he gets it, it won't be a light thing, considering his pre-existing condition.)

Also, on another thing, the twins get so paranoid over Ryan interacting with fan, so much they end up cutting him off. Now, maybe they didn't actually cut him off completely, maybe just realizing their friendship is better with that little distance that comes from not actually living together. Maybe they're still bff, and they just realizing its healthier for their relationship to not be roommates, considering they all have Issues. Now that there's this, I do wonder how the twins will react.

In one perspective, she seemed bullied and was trying to defend herself im grace, and perhaps nothing to feel mad/betrayed about. In another, she's actually in the wrong and she comes off like a Karen and perhaps that's something to be disappointed about. Or in a more hateful mindset, she replied to a dm she could've and should've ignored because now she has the sense of having 'clout' for being known as Ethan Dolan's gf, and thus, ignites the paranoia of the paranoids who constantly on the edge of the fear of being 'used' for clout.

*sigh* yes, I'm ranting again. I just have very strong opinion on travelling in pandemic, alright. I was so fucking set to go see my parents last month, since the case in the city I'm stuck in is declining, looks good, seems like the case will be over soon in the city. My mom has been taking care of my grandma (she can't walk anymore) and it has been tiring for her and the only other person in the house is my dad and I worry so much since without me, he's the one doing the groceries and he has heart issues. I did the whole round of tests and two weeks isolation to make sure I'm not gonna bring anything unwanted. But, because of one person, turns out there was a whole family that got infected, they infected their neighbors and when they went to the market, possibly infect more people, and since they're somewhat close to my area and now the numbers spiked again, I can't fucking risk it and cancelled the flight on my own. The full refund was nice, but it would be nicer if people could just not be selfish so the pandemic can be over faster, y'know?

So yes. I have very strong opinion on this.

[princeleyjeans]

Amanda is a neutrally crucial character: a post

Just because fans enjoy trikey, doesn’t have to mean they dislike Amanda on the grounds she “Ruins the relationship”, or even dislike her at all.  Some of us like her character, she creates a very real idea of how some people do end up on the wrong end of the tracks and in a shitty, co-dependent and plain ass toxic marriage, you don’t have to have your partner come out/be assumed gay to look at your life and think “Holy shit, we’re both huge assholes”  In rockstars case, they made her your typical assumed Run-Away/Not really delinquent but getting there (Maybe petty shoplifting)  at 17, stripper/hooker at 18/19, who finds a man during her time at said skeezy workplace and gets pregnant too fast to even register if she actually wants the dude or not.  Imagine you’re still basically a teenager and some charming, dangerous but cute looking, balls too big for his jeans guy shows up, you’re already feeling somewhat uncertain about how things are going with your life and here he comes with candy, flowers, swatting away other, probably larger guys, risking his own neck to get at you, win your heart, earn your affection, you’d feel pretty damn hawt, pretty on your game, genuinely good because this dude whose appeared outta nowhere, is trying to get you on his arm and is doing it, semi decently, he’s a little different, he’s got dreams, money, goals, plans, everything seems alright, and rightly or wrongly, you fall for that idea.  With Amanda and M, personally, I think it was one of those “He’s good looking, strong, seems certain about his plans for the future, I want a piece” deals, of course, this lasts about...a month? two at most, then the condom breaks, they’re on the verge of breaking up because of constant fighting caused by whatever, Amanda wants an abortion because hello, 19, no real address, shitty bf and scary mother fucker hanging around all the time, no kid needs that!  But M is about family, holding together the sand from a long broken hourglass, he begs her not to get rid of their baby, makes all these promises, big house, money out the whaazoo, picket fence, dog, all that shit, and out of maybe pitty, strung out hope, desperation, lack of access to healthcare, she accepts and so off they go to get a quickie wedding performed because omg baby out of wedlock, the damn shame (Sarcasm) and enters little Tracey 9 months later, and then things get worse because her food and diapers are eating up money they’d use for other shit, Trevor’s getting more erratic, Amanda is forced back into stripping, going further than before with actual prostitution, everything just goes to absolute hell and she’s stuck, literally stuck because God knows she can’t just run and leave her baby with bank robbers! Her family have no idea where Amanda is, nor of Tracey’s birth or even existence, what choice does Amanda really have? Trek across the border region of America and hope for a miracle, or keep where the money’s at and pray they get enough to make it out alive?  All those years stuck under M’s thumb, under the weight of never really being fully able to grow up, experience her 20s as a single, free young woman, realise that being on the wrong side of the law isn’t actually all that a rush as she thought, it fucks up a person, especially if you weren’t a great/fully formed one to begin with!  Maybe this is me, but I see M and Amanda as brother and sister, people who’ve grown up together and experienced hardship to the point where instead of work as a team to get through it, they’ve just turned and blamed each other because why the fuck should the other one have to take the wrap for so and so’s fuck up? Shouldn’t the other one know not to do stupid shit like that?  It’s quite high-school, Semi/not really bad girl meets a real bad guy and he makes her believe they’re made for each other, things get too hot too fast and suddenly there’s another person involved, he’s shitting his pants because he’s gotta pull himself together and be a decent person but the guy doesn’t wanna so he makes excuses to be an even larger asshole and blames the girl cus how dare she seduce him (Sarcasm, you Tumblr freaks).  Neither Party is exempt from blame here, but, that doesn’t mean one is more to blame for what the fuck their lives have become.  Amanda is not the enemy.  Nor is Michael.  But with Amanda, there is a lot of “You can’t hate her because she’s an abuse victim! She’s had to deal with M for all these years!”  And “You can’t erase her because of trikey!”  Or my favourite “FUCKING MISOGYNIST TRIKEY SHIPPERS WHITE TRASH”  Awww yes, tumblr, giving everyone (Even the ones who shouldn’t) a voice.  But that shit creates tension, and so people are afraid to have a different opinion, I used to, and that was shit because I do, and did like her as a character, yes she’s an ass at times, but so is her husband and that assery balances them both out and lets you know it’s not a one-sided shit-heap, she’s terrible too, but being in the light of bitter wife constantly cheating and having bouts of sad rationality has meant we’ve learnt more of her story than most games have with their own female characters.  Again, probably just me, but at her worst, Amanda is giving pieces of her past/feelings through how she reacts/speaks to Michael, I’m not saying its justified, I just mean you know what she’s going through, you feel something, you know there’s more to this affair, to the ass photos online, the pool boys and tennis coaches, blunt af disregard of her own actions when she herself fucks up.  That text she sends Michael after the tennis coach fiasco gets me every single time for obvious reasons, like , bitch, you really not gonna talk about this? You not gonna see your own irony here?  others see it as just a bitter, horrible ass woman, but that's the mirror, the slap in the mouth Rockstar give their protags when they need a reality check.  She’s crucial because she herself is a mirror, a shitty slice of bread to make the shitty ass sandwich that is her, M and their life together, their family, fucking existence as a whole! Plus it’s giving a “Not everything is one-sided” view of M’s plot-line, it’s what makes his character, as well as hers, so hard to truly hate, because you ask questions, wonder about the truth! the closed doors at the end of the day.  Like, imagine if someone said “My husband is such a dick, I wanna leave, I wanna just go and get away”, unless you were close friends, you’d wonder about his side, his feelings, his views, and in some cases, you’d realise it was a mutually fucked up relationship where they can both easily walk away but are so needy and clingy, co-fucking-dependent that they can’t leave and so just bitch about each other because they’re too fucking brats!  THAT IS WHY SHES SO CRUCIAL! BECAUSE YOU GET BOTH SIDES OF THE MIRROR AND NEITHER ARE RIGHT BUT IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE TO BE TOGETHER THEY’D PROBABLY GET ALONG LIKE ALOT OF THESE IDIOTS DO!  Okay, I’mma say this is done, maybe follow up in another post later, and go listen to Post Malone while also pre-writing my come-back comments to probably really fucked and unrelated to the topic messages I am about to receive for even making this post. 

[allofmycrushes]

Bananafish ending pt1

Are we still treating Banana Fish ending like the only possible one with Ash being better off dead instead of a forced cliché emo sob story it was? It was most disappointing I as far as story resolutions go. It felt so disjointed from the plot like starting a new arc after neatly finishing the plot just to end it in the first act with an easy and abrupt death of the main hero. It managed to spoil and finally sour things, with a sloppy writing on top, not any close to satisfying and the characters didn't deserve to go through all of this for nothing. Ash character especially, for him it reversed his growth, it nullified everything he fought so hard for. Could we at least stop convincing ourselves it was so fitting and that misfortune would come anyway? It's disturbing enough without bringing fatalistic nihilism further into it. Life isn't that way and especially in fiction there isn't one possible solution. It didn't have to be like this and it's not great despite the pain it causes or rather as people like to say "realistic because of the pain" nor was it perfectly set up, we don't have to at least accept it as right however it feels for it showed us "harsh reality", it's not and was not realistically done either, no need endorsing we all have to abide it as such. Ultimately we have to stomach already damaged character getting senselessly tortured for nothing till we are fed this miserable end and I don't think at this point it's something to admire as representational. It's like clipping wings of a butterfly for the drama and then having it presented as just showing a slice of our unfair life. Or better yet, watching a nature documentary that shows only prey being hunted and torn apart, nothing else, none of its other side, no counterpoint and then being told that's it, that's only what Mother Nature is. This is the reality we speak of when talking about Banana Fish ending which unfortunately cements that it showed beauty specifically to crush it. There's no balance when you continue to show loss triumph and if there's no other way I'm inclined to think Banana Fish takes place in Hell rather than in real world.

I don't think it was a rightful ending for so many reasons coming from the way the story was written, for the issues of this ending in itself and ideas it brings forward. But I want to go further into one thing I observed, namely the prevalent narrative having people who say BF ending wasn't good labelled as naive sentimental idealists who can't take it just because they could only accept a straightforward happy end while its ~greatness and realness lays in how grim it is. We are told we may not like it (and that we only don't because it upsets us with not being fluffy) but however out feelings are we have to acknowledge it was objectively inevitable, well written, only logical and plausible one. If not our delicate sensibilities can't handle serious real life themes. Well thank you for letting me not enjoy it but also I still won't agree that despite my dislike it was like all the previous adjectives mentioned, it wasn't legitimate and the best possible while being realistic and in other posts I scratch the surface of why not but here I just want to say I feel uncomfortable with how this pointless end is validated as the sole one which could be credible while any opposition to it framed as irrational fantasy wishful thinking. I think people who read it this way take the text painfully at face value and maybe can't see it is highly disputable but it's not fair trying to impose on others the idea how common sense and true to life it was and misrepresent other's dissatisfaction as being in denial. In general I see posts on the ending enforcing the view how it happened as if by some objective laws of the universe, you might not like them but they're binding anyway, it is sad but anything else would be delusional. I'm sorry but no, this is fiction and as a whole it is composed and based on a subjective set of ideas and values and in BF's particular case they're not even always coherent as a whole both within the story and in relation to our real world. Popular interpretation is that Ash couldn't possibly escape his fate and so we can't escape such ending. He works hard to do it the whole time but this struggle is denied and nothing matters in the end anyway and I am to believe his conclusion always would have been the same as if a neutral mathematical truth brought it. Destiny. It is hard to justify such concept especially when talking about fiction where by default you have basically the author making certain choices and then trying to construct the story around them. You can only argue it was well founded, coherently coming from the story and working in context of what we see but in BF case it totally scratched out what it previously established, this construction wasn't even especially flawless, unquestionable and successful. It's like the internal contradictions in the plot and character actions are being ignored and the fatalistic motives that are pushed forward are like a voice of the omniscient god narrator forcing this way of thinking into us and forbidding to think critically about what is repeated and compare it with how it relates to what’s been actually happening. So when they're finally realized you're to be amazed how rational it is despite many of the things under the surface aren't necessarily pointing in the same direction. You could only call it unequivocal if there were no holes in the storytelling and causality so that it would have been the only justifiable conclusion but no one can tell me that despite all the forced omens purposefully scattered around there couldn't have been a somewhat different ending without it being a nonsensical, unbelievable fix it. The story and the flawed execution of the given ending easily lets you imagine other probable possibilities.

There were clumsy deliberate attempts in the plot to lay the background for it, how it was fatalistically coming but the stabbing timing itself was obviously convenient and contrived thing that didn't feel fluent and organic, more like an abrupt event in precisely calculated moment by the author for maximum shock that's why it feels so fake. Then Ash has a turn around and goes to the library, there's much talk that he Did It For Eiji but it's hard to believe it to be the case since the BF affair has ended and he for the first time in his life gets a chance to live freely plus gets the letter which is a hopeful promise for a better future. To have the random stabbing suddenly make him dismiss all this and give up promptly is a weak excuse. He finally has something to live for, is at a good place for the first time in his life. It made no sense coming from unconvincing situation and for his character, it’s such a waste to make him decide that because he felt happy for a moment, he is so strong but now suddenly submits and stops fighting for all he did before. It’s like he is chastised for even  trying to escape, for a fleeting moment believing he could have something as we are told there’s no hope for him. It was miserable and not emotional or moving in a good way, how even a tragic end is supposed to be. Truth is Ash is in the best position at the end- allies, money, biggest enemies dead, can possibly start anew. Others did. I doubt it'd have been worse for him than what he's already been put through but one of the manipulative things BF does is that we are at some point beginning to be deliberately pressured into not believing he could have it better because of all the gratuitous violence and abuse and bad luck he has thrown on him during the timeline (I think it's one of the long term purposes of some otherwise pointless scenes besides the direct one which is to shake us), also as I've claimed people tend to give him no future in any case to compensate for the ending.

[vilphowilpie1980-blog]

Well, I don't have any advice in finding employment under EU guidelines for foreigners, but I do have a bit of advice outside of that. It may not be a good idea to move to an area for a woman who isn't even committed to you. There are so many places in the world that you could experience. I would have done it for a baby or young who had a low probability of getting better. Like my cat, they would not have been able to understand the situation or why they were going through pain, they would not have been able to express their will to me. So why is it okay to put down a cat but not a child?. Bombs penetrated buildings, exploded inside: Here what happened at BalakotThe unprecedented Balakot strikes in Pakistan drew a deep red line for India. With its seamless operation, IAF scripted history. But the ambiguity still persists. I still on the boat that we probably getting more than the 4 LLs number that people have somewhat arbitrarily come up with. But I can still see why there is so much disdain 거제출장마사지 for his addition since it is by no means a surefire thing. The only precedent we have for Lord numbers going beyond 4 is the Vampire Counts, and there is still the (justified in my opinion) perception that a slot was wasted on the likes of Ghorst when characters like Konrad existed.. So yes, I think you should be able to pick up his badge as long as you bring the ticket confirmation and ID, although the wording is a bit unclear if the ID necessary is yours, the badge owner (your BF), or both? I hope that helps. Yeah. ReedPop customer service is pretty bad unfortunately. To ensure happiness of the couple, the Khmer fortune teller, based on the groom and bride's age, date of birth and the astrological elements, calculates the best date and time for the wedding. Based on the fortune teller's findings on numerology or astrology, offerings are made to further enhance the compatibility of the couple. Sometimes, the wedding has to be called off if the stars just can't be aligned.. I feel like the card design may be hurting its twitch representation. Games feel rather one dimensional at the moment, with an army of Midrange Play Good Cards On Curve decks dominating everything. Even with a more tier 1.5 deck like Rakano Warhelm Hit Face that I like to run, the games boil down to how much undercosted removal my opponent happened to draw. I also earn more money and don have to worry about the price tag of a particular product as much. Brands like Hourglass, ViseArt and Natasha Denona are no longer out of reach and a fun splurge that doesn cause me any financial stress. That said, I still LOVE a good bargain and research it still really fun to fall down a YouTube hole of review videos of bargain or dupe products. AlexandraGigerGrey To an extent it can be "groomed", people will enter relationships with others and commit heinous acts they would have never done alone. There are criminal cases of people who only commit petty crimes, meeting, fostering a 거제출장마사지 friendship and go on to compete very serious crimes. There are a lot of people who are easily manipulated or will do anything for approval.. This happened to me! A mentally ill homeless man showed up at my house one day saying he lived there now and he was going to get a dog and fix my house up real good. We kept telling him to leave and he kept checking out mail and dragging our trash cans to the street. Finally he decided to smash the windows out and climb into my house.

[skyplayer37]

Worm Liveblog: End.

   So thats how Worm ends.... where do I begin?

   I haven't done a serious liveblog for the second half because I just wanted to take it all in, but I guess I'm at the point now where the taking it in is over and I need to vomit out some words. The fact that I'm writing this one in a word processor instead of the Tumblr text editor means I'm already subconsciously knowing that this is going to be pretty long, so buckle up.

   In short? It was awesome. Everything in the story came together perfectly. At the beginning I just couldn't concieve an ending that would involve Cauldron, Scion, Endbringers, Passengers, and all the various capes in a way that was satisfying. But it was pulled off pretty damn well.

   Let's take a look at some of my predictions and use those as launch points for some discussion:

   - Arc 1: "Taylor remains adamant about being good even after enjoying the company of the villains. Her descent to evil will be a slow corruption, but the story will justify it by making the superheroes look bad."

   She did indeed descend into madness as Khepri, with a large focus on self-justification. Taylor always thinks she's doing the right thing, which is a staple of any good villain. Except she wasn't truly a villain and did save the day in the end. Except she accept her villainy and wanted to die in the end. Except the heroes decided to keep her alive. So the morals are all over the place. In the end, Taylor gets a happy ending. With  (kinda) both her parents, and a self that isn't defined by her powers.  Skitter and Weaver were personas shaped by her Passenger, and for all intents and purposes were actually killed in the end. But Taylor, the little girl from the beginning of the story, gets the happy ending.

   - Arc 3: "the Birdcage sounds like an interesting location. And no story ever says “No one has ever escaped that prison!” without the protag later escaping that prison (or the big bad to show how big and bad they are)."

   Nope. The  Birdcage was made rather pointless by Doormaker, despite the set-up that teleportation tricks wouldn't work. Even Kehpri, without much practice with Doorman's power, was able to break in and out easily. There wasn't the all out war in the Birdcage that I expected, but I expect a similar prison to be used in Ward, perhaps the same Birdcage but upgraded. At the very least it made Panacea much more tolerable and brought in Marquis, one of the coolest parahumans. But it also introduced Teacher, one of the more boring ones. Assuming Ward is a true direct sequel, I expect Teacher to go down in the first few arcs as the intro-villain before being surpassed by someone a thousand times more evil.

   - Arc 5: " It’s too obvious that Grue’s little sister will get powers".. " Regent’s gonna die real soon. He’s expendable."... "Taylor is going to get a good boost to her power soon"

   Correct on all accounts. Imp is one of the best characters left alive by the end. Regent had to go because Taylor just ends up with a better version of his power. It's left pretty vague when she had her second trigger event thought. I'd guess sometime during Leviathan? It was after that, when she took over her  territory, that her multi-tasking powers really ramped up.

- Arc 10: "Everything happening went right over my head until they arrived at the Wards after being “caught”, which is to say I didn’t realize we were being introduced to Regent’s actual power of body possession. A power eerily similar to what I guessed Taylor’s endgame powers would be, just a bit more limited and requiring conscious movement on Regent’s part for every motion and not how Taylor just taps into natural instincts."

   So let's talk about Khepri. Taylor finally thinks she has the power-limitation thing figured out, so she goes to Panacea who just... kinda gets it instantly? A bit odd that the ability for Taylor to go crazy like that was so easily reached and out of nowhere. But I guess Panacea had gotten to the point where she barely needed to second-guess messing with someone's head. So Taylor comes up with a crazy idea and 5 minutes later has powers worthy of instantly jumping to Class-S, taking control of every parahuman in existence with some quick synergy, combining Doormaker and his clairvoyent bf and ballooning in power like a good Binding of Isaac build. Thematically though, it works beautifully. She's become the Queen of her swarm, with all of humankind nothing but insects in comparison to a mighty godlike entity. Scion treated humans like we would ants, toying with them as one would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But as Taylor proved with her insects against humans, enough humans working together through a hivemind can overcome an entity thousands of times their scale. She killed the impenetrable Alexandria by commanding bugs, and now the immortal Scion by commanding humans. Wow you can really look back at the first few arcs where the teenage girl is learning about the heroes and say "yeah she fucking kills all of them eventually, weird huh?"

- Epilogue

   Where does the story go now? Assuming again, that Ward is a standard sequel. Which it heavily implied by Bitch's epilogue, with trigger events now going haywire without Scion and being a very cool way to get his POV on the last few moments of his life. Teacher is doing his thing but again, I assume that wouldn't last for long into a sequel besides getting a new hero protag set-up with someone easy to fight. Dragon and Defiant had a very touching epilogue, and I'm excited that at least they might be around for a whole other 2 million word story. Unsarcastically: these characters are good enough to warrant ~44 YA novels worth of story.  I'd hope that Taylor doesn't make much more than a cameo though, her story is over. But if this story grew to be so epic in scale, its hard to imagine a sequel that wouldn't involve Earth Aleph getting fucked up. Imp is set-up to get a pretty good protag role, I'd wager one of the Heartbreaker kids as the most likely to get the main POV. Someone with the birthright of a villain proving themselves to be a Hero, in contrast to Taylor being a hero trapped as a villain and succoming to the role. Although I've figured out myself that Dragon already fills the role as her foil, being coded and trapped into being a Hero against her will, with the pun of being a "Wyrm". Which might have made for a cool sequel name, albiet a very confusing one when talked about out-loud.

   Is a sequel to a nearly 2 million word story needed? I'd say.... yeah. There's still plenty left unanswered. The Endbringers for instance. It's implied that Eidolon made them, outside the knowledge of anyone else, but only really implied. They go silent after Scion goes down for some reason. How much did The Simurgh know of the future? She was responsible for setting up Panacea's stay in the Birdcage (fitting name here) and of the Yang-Ban Emperor being one that was critical for Taylor to have control over after Panacea fucked up her head. So did she know about Khepri? She was, after all, responsible for setting up Echidna, the only other Human-Turned-Endbringer. And what of Scion's partner? How did Cauldron kill something like that? Granted it was the more passive of the cherubic-twins. (Aranea's talk about Cherubs was before the Interlude about the Entity right? Let's check... Aranea's was in March 2013, 26.X Interlude was in August 2013.... pretty crazy to both have the idea of invincible serpents flying through the multiverse, reproducing by tearing their scales off, with one more aggressive and one more focused on passively studying humans, granted I’m taking some liberties but you get the idea) (Chuckles the Clown raised Scion calling it now).  But I guess the same odds as Vriska/Marceline being introduced the same summer with the defining traits of "grey skin, gay, and loves wearing red-colored boots".

   This would be the part where I talk about how emotionally wrecked I am from this journey being over. Of investing in these characters and seeing them grow up. From clueless children to powerful pseudo-gods with the power to kill unfathomable monstrosities. Of the good times and the bad, of the nostalgia of the simple bank heist scenes, of taking a moment to remember those that didn't make it. Regent, Emma, Clockblocker, Grue, Taylor's virginity. Damn, Clockblocker dieing actually hurt me the most. Maybe I should say a few words about how Worm has changed me as a person and become one of those major pillars supporting my future that I'll someday look back on with "that specifically effected the way I Create" as Homestuck once did.

   But no, I don't get to say that quite yet. Because even after 6 months. Of reading almost nightly since I started on the plane-ride home from spending a weekend across the country with my boyfriend, knowing it would be this long and still not see him again and deciding to start on this  journey to take my mind off being in such an emotional ride home. Thousand of feet in the air and reading about some girl trapped in a bathroom stall having juice poured on her head... Half a year dedicated to Worm, around 5 times longer than it took me to read Homestuck. Nearly 2 million words, an estimated 22 regular novels in length, longer than the entire Percy Jackson series I was obsessed with as a teenager (probably not anymore, theres way too many of those) and now, having read that much, what can I say now?

   There's still more I haven't read.

   Guess this liveblog is gonna keep going into Ward

[engazed]

Hello Engazed, I just wanted to say how much I am enjoying both The Grating Roar and the Blackbird Fly although I have been very lax about leaving chapter comments for both. Mea culpa. I do have a comment/question I hope you can help with – and no it’s not asking about the next chapter.  :-)

So I’ve just re-read BF and was struck again by the almost Anikan Skywalker like development (devolvement?) of Bill Murray. Note: Spoilers for anyone not up to date with BF (if such people even exist). I’m having some trouble with how John (and us fandom readers) could have gotten Bill’s character so wrong. John is not an idiot and he did know Bill over a number of years. Although we know Bill had conflicted views of John prompted by Sholto’s death, he also seemed to have been genuinely tormented by what happened to John as a result of his accusations. This makes his slide to the “dark side” seem very fast and very complete. Like Anikan, he seems to devolve from tortured yet basically good soul to murdering kids in the Jedi Temple (killing Pitts) in one scene. Then he keeps going by being an accomplice in Sam Jeffries murder and on to even more nasty, nasty stuff. I’m curious how you came to see Bill this way and if you think he can truly rejoin the side of the angles? BlueSkye12

Well darn. A comparison to Anakin’s devolution is never a compliment.

I understand where the criticism comes from. As I started Bill’s chapters, I knew that the challenge would be convincing the reader that Bill’s downward was believable, and to do it within a comparatively compact space.

By ‘compact space’, I mean, in a matter of a few thousand words, not the time that passes within the context of the story. Anakin’s transformation toward evil was so abrupt (kills Mace Windu, asks ‘What have I done!?!’, pledges his loyalty to the dark side, and goes on to slaughter children) because it seemed to have happened overnight. And furthermore, he seemed to have fully embraced evil.

If I may leap to Bill’s defence (and my own), that’s not what happened in Blackbird. For one, Bill is not wholly evil. He’s morally confused and easily manipulated and a coward, but those are different things from being outright evil. Second, Bill’s devolution happens over the course of years, not hours or days or even weeks. He thought he was doing the right thing by reporting his suspicions to his superiors. He did do the right thing in saving John at the last minute. But then he became a man tormented by guilt over betraying a friend.

After he returns home, that guilt only intensifies with the passage of time, and he does not continue to develop a friendship with John. They knew each other during the war, not after it, so to say that John knew him well, is being generous. It’s not that he misjudged Bill’s character. He just didn’t have the whole story of what led to his shooting, and had no idea is was in any way an outgrowth of Sholto’s tragic death.

Bill still has a conscience, but his guilt and proclivity to run from guilt has silenced that conscience. You shut it up long enough, over the course of time, you become morally confused, not necessarily evil. And when he is confronted with choices thereafter between good and evil, the right way forward isn’t as clear as you would hope. Bill didn’t fully understand (or was willfully ignorant) what was happening to John initially. But he’d been pulled into a web of evil men, whom he feared. He feared them more than he wanted to save John. Self-preservation? Protecting his own family from men like Moran? All of that, yes. And no, he should not be admired. He knew what was happening, more or less, and chose to do nothing. That’s its own kind of sin, and one for which he should be condemned.

So why did he shoot at Lestrade (killing Pitts instead)? THAT was action from fear. If he didn’t obey Moran, he feared what Moran would do to him. He’d seen what happened to John, and to Mary, knew what Moran was capable of, and feared for his own life and safety, and that of Fran and his children. Compound fear with guilt, and men do terrible things. But never did Bill rub his hands together and cackle and revel in his own wickedness. He never thought he was doing something noble, never once imagined that the cause he served was preferable. He didn’t choose the ‘dark side’ because he liked it, or thought it superior, or thought it more powerful and therefore more worthy (or any of the other reasons Anakin might have used to justify his turn to the dark side). No, he felt trapped, only ever trapped. He wanted to reverse time to fix his mistakes, not suffer the consequences of coming clean. Bill has only ever tried to outrun consequences, and it’s caught up to him.

After he facilitates and witnesses Jeffries’ murder, he’s numb with shock. He never goes home again. He is filled with self-loathing and longs for death, but fears it all the same, fears being found out for his crimes, keeps being used as a puppet, keeps running. None of this happened over night. When he pulled that trigger, it was the result of years upon years of bad decisions and festering guilt he didn’t have the courage to answer for. Cowardice has led him down this road, cowardice and self-preservation. So no, I personally don’t see him as an Anakin Skywalker. I do see him as tortured, as a man who has good desires but lacks the fortitude to carry them out, as a man trapped by some of the worst sins one can commit. He’s had a choice, all this time, to turn to the side of the devil or the side of the angels. Afraid of the judgement of the angels, he’s tried not to choose at all. But when you don’t choose good, evil chooses you.

But there’s a difference between the devil and the angels. There’s still only one that can--and will--save you, if you turn to them, even after all you’ve done. Why? Because, in the end, only one ever had the power--and the will--to do so.

I suppose, in that sense, Bill’s story is, in the end, a little like Skywalker’s. Just a little.

[redthreadtugs-blog]

Understandable? Or not?

K: Was it a wrong thing? Yes. Everyone would say so. Was it understandable? I think at least some would say so. Given the way we had gone round and round I have little to no insight into T and L. I have no idea how they work. What she knew or knows.

J: What does that mean.... understandable? Like it’s ok sorta to do?

K: No. Not okay.

J: Then why understandable?

K: That the path I took, as not okay as it was....it was understandable how I could have made those choices.  I was lost. I made mistakes. This does not justify it. I am never gonna forgive myself for lying to you. For hiding from you. But i was lost.

J: Sigh (((((((Kezziah)))))))

K: And I was afraid. And I did not know how to find myself or talk to you about my lost voice. I only knew i did not want to make you mad. I could not face it. It terrified me on a visceral level.

J: And so the way you chose, was that I would just be clueless about stuff instead.

K: And so i did something that made sense to me... That was wrong. That I thought would be harmless... it was wrong on so many levels. But i had become so unsure of myself with you.  I was lost. It was not about you per se. You feel that it was. But it was not. It was never meant to hurt you or make you the fool.

J: When you did that, and others know but I do not, it is inherent there is going to be a loss of respect

K: It was just so i could find my voice somehow.. ... i can never explain this to you. Cause you could never feel what i was feeling

J: there is in fact a loss of respect

K: Crying*

J: That is what you gave me.

K: There had been so many times the bar had been moved.... I was boxed in. No longer me

J: Unfortunately, I earned it. Sorry I sucked so bad.

K: I never wanted to lose you. I only wanted to keep your love. We were not communicating when we thought we were.

J: Clearly.

K: I did not know how to cope with your jealousy. I could not abide your unfounded accusations. And yet I felt guilty. Like I must have done something wrong. I was sure that if you were that mad at me, I needed to fix it. I must have done something wrong to earn your wrath. It was a terrible cognitive dissonance for me.  And I started to distrust myself. Every instinct. Every word I typed. 

J: So what does that say about anything we spoke of any of those times? Like apologies, forgiveness, and me saying I am going to adjust this or that about my behavior how I was going to try something different and how proud we were for our talks through it and your takes on the situations and any of that stuff....was it all just so much words and we really didn’t fix anything?

K: I believed all that. I did.

J: But how then?

K: But the fact is....you kept doing it. Again and again.

J: We tried so much to believe in each other, we each conceded stuff

K: I kept limiting my behavior more and more.

J: You weren’t alone in that.

K: And yet you kept getting triggered. And then I was in trouble with you again. And you were threatening to leave me. And i could not take that I was willing to do anything to stop that. It cut me to little pieces

J: I should have left. I kept triggering, it wasn’t right to keep doing that

K: I didn’t want you to leave *sobbing....fuck....

J: I know. And I didn't wanna either. Entirely selfish of me. You don't need that crap from anyone.

K: Every time...we had that fight...and we made up...and you said you would never do it again....I believed you.

J: It’s not a worthy trade off. I know I broke that.

K: Until the last time when we fought and C was in the middle I thought.....it’s never gonna end. He’s trying but he can’t help it.   But he can’t stop. I felt so defeated. I felt so broken. When you accused me of taking up with C... When you thought I was chatting with him when I was picking up after the dog... missed your chime and you were furious with me... Omg.

J: Sigh

K: Jameson... These things. You have no idea the effect they had on me. The power you had over me. How much your anger destroyed me. How your accusations of unfaithfulness cut me. I was never unfaithful to you for one minute. Sobbing* I know you are never gonna believe me. I deserve that. But...your accusations...they almost drove me to create the reality you envisioned.... I don’t know.  Kills me.

J: Nothing to hide now, hun. I am so sorry.

K: I only ever wanted you. I am not saying what I did was okay. It was not. But...I was damaged.  And broken. In ways I am only now understanding.  You didn't mean to. And I contributed... Someday I hope you can forgive me and let go of it. Stop throwing it in my face. I want to put it behind us. I had thought it was behind us months ago. I know it can’t be behind us yet because I didn't tell you and was hiding the whole damn thing

J: I am not throwing it in your face. Uggh.

K: It feels like it. Every time... Like a weapon. I could not feel worse about it than i do. I don't know how to apologize more than I have. I know I disrespected you and us. And lied and omitted and dissembled

J: Then stop.

K: I won’t ever do that again.

J: Like I said I don't know what else to say any more. All it does....is this all this crap above.... I can't resolve anything within myself because no one will talk to me about it, so I’ll figger it out on my own and I'm still the asshole. So meh.

K: I don't know what to say when you ask me things i don't know

J: Nothing more to say then.

K: When you seem to have heard things I didn't say

J: I asked a question.  I asked for clarity. Who got bowed up? 

K: I did. I am sorry. I am so sorry.

J: My fault for asking

K: I don't know what you expect me to say. I don't really know T. How should I know what was said between T and L?

J: I expect an answer, anything else looks like methinks she doth protest too much

K: I feel like everything I ever say is wrong. It’s reflexive. It’s habit with you. That what I say is wrong. Not enough. So I keep saying more things. Getting more defensive. Even when there is no reason on gods green earth for me to actually BE defensive.

J: And that is why we can’t do this stuff anymore. It seem like I should not ask questions that no one can answer and you get freaked out when I ask

K: And your hair stands on end. And you hear guilt. And then I can’t stop crying.

J: My hair does not. I hear inconsistencies.

K: Male brain: female brain. I am not lying. I am not.

J: And there are and have been tons of that throughout all of this and, you know, that stuff just doesn’t rest. And why would it? Because my gf chose to hide, lie about it and send her secret friend out to attack me to keep it under wraps. So yea. It bothers me.

K: I never wanted him to say any of that to you. I hate that he did that. I hate it.

J: Just ....what... “oh Jameson...it’s a big nothing, forget about it pretty please?”

K: I know you are not gonna forget about it. Just as I can't forget about your false accusations that terrified me.

J: Your messages have him attacking me passively and indirectly and you let him there too. It’s not so easy to reconcile, Kezziah

K: I AM NOT responsible for his actions and words.

J: I am a butthurt motherfucker.

K: Clearly, I was a fucking mess.

J: You always let your friends talk crap about your bf?

K: Jameson....do you have any idea the state I was in? And I think you can see how I DID disagree with him. Maybe not as much as I could have. But...I was a mess. And you were not talking to me at all. And I thought you might never again.

J: Well he is good guy, well worth all this trouble.

K: I refuse to defend him… He is not. You are everything to me.

J: I never wanted to be your everything.

K: I thought he was a good person. Maybe he is not. The contrast between you and him is stark

J: A big thing mebbe, definitely not everything.

K: Okay, you are my BIG thing Jameson... I cannot fight like this. I am too upset to work right now.

J: I can’t either.

K: This is the same ground we keep going over. I don't know how to help you.

J: I don't need any help.

K: I don’t know how to help us move forward.

J: I'll sort it out on my own.

K: I hate that I have hurt you so much. And that someone i called a friend was such an asshole to you. Totally unacceptable. I'm utterly confused by his behavior. I don’t know what it is you want when you ask me the kinds of things you asked me today that got me so upset I just don’t know what you want. I can’t answer them. I just don't know.

J: I can’t ask if you are gonna get bowed up. So no worries. I won’t anymore. I figured stuff out so far. I can sort out the rest. Thank you, for your time on it. My sincerest apologies for upsetting you. I suck at this stuff.

K: I don’t know about that. Mebbe we both suck. Somehow we are gonna get better at this.

J: Doesn’t seem like it. Mebbe we better to be just friends and not touch this ever again or anything like it.

K: Your hurt over this is deep. I acknowledge it. You have nursed it for half a year until it has grown larger than us. It is gonna take time. Two steps forward.  One step back. It is not linear. I am not gonna quit on you. We made this mess together. Some we gotta handle alone. Some we can do together. I don’t think it is possible to not touch on this stuff again. That's not honest either. If we are gonna be friends. Or whatever... we are gonna be dealing with it.

J: All’s I have are straws to grasp at here. No one wants to speak with me directly about these things. All I get are ‘yea yea I understand’ and ‘it sucks’ ‘I am sorry.' There is no manual for this kind of stuff. I have been crappy, and now you are because of it, so now what? Just run around and be all dysfunctional together? I don't know how to release this stuff. I don't know how to reconcile this all in my mind. I don't know how either of us saves face with it either. Just what, say 'yea, you are right I was a butthead', and this and all its discrepancies is ok now and back to business as usual?

When I went through conflicts before with people, either my own or sorting through someone else's, we would find a place to where it came down to finding what it was one needed to finally lay it to rest. That is going to be difficult if we can't even talk about this stuff without getting bowed up. I know you keep offering things, and please don't think I don't appreciate it.

I want this to be done with too. I am also uncertain and afraid that getting it sorted out may be more damaging to our relationship than it being worthwhile to do. We are are already so messed up. How much more can you endure? Can I? Before all is lost.

K: I am doing the best I can to speak directly to you. I am sorry if i get upset. Sometimes it surprises me. All of a sudden we are in the middle of stuff I was not ready for. I keep trying. I feel like I keep failing. I can't stand to try so hard and feel that you still think I am lying. I do not believe that our attempts at this make things worse. It’s cyclical. Not linear. Two steps forward.  One back.

©redthreads

陪同

[flootweed]

@misterbitches im finally responding to your posts lol sorry babes 😬

i think ive heard of tamara but i havent read that specific thing youre talking about. but yeah the power structures behind anti-asian racism are not perpetuated by black ppl def. and white supremacy has a greater effect on black ppl than asian ppl bc of ya know... history. thats some rlly interesting insight tho bc like the antiblackness in the asian community is seemingly often presented as a perfect parallel to anti-asian racism in the black community. 

moving on from depressing stuff .. the dubbing of the untamed is by different ppl which is why it fucked me up when i found out. like that wasnt their actual voices tf ??! both of the leads were idols so that probably was part of why they got the role lol but they’re also talented.

im sorry your college experience was like that it sounds like hell. 

ik i should say something if I feel i should but like i always think “maybe theres something im missing i dont want to talk out my ass” idk just how i am 

yesss im a large proponent of curating your own spaces i use the block button liberally. also just ignoring ppl who have meaningless opinions i disagree with. like i used to get myself in a tizzy in my head when i saw someone say something bad about something i like trying to justify to myself how theyre wrong. now im just like idc lol. 

i live in a city with a lot of out of state tourists and i just get to clean up after them for $11/hr 🙃

im def guilty of sometimes believing whatever leftist analysis i dee on the tl i really need to do start reading more theory/history but ive become illiterate. i learned about the stuff your referring to in a class last year but like im not gonna get into all that its just very complex.

atots is very romantic as a pisces it makes me want to die. ive never heard that story about SOPHIE thats lovely.

lol i lowkey tend to look at vague spoilers before watching any bl bc im picky and dont want to waste my time on something shitty its worked pretty well for me so far. your past obsession w/ lady gaga is understandable tbh. but yeah ive been waiting for all this to blow up in sibs face. i have no idea whats gonna happen tomorrow in the next ep. like obv gene is gonna forgive him but im excited to see his grovel. yeah i like up’s acting even tho his crying isnt my favorite bc he has great expressions. kao is eh. he was similarily as meh in uwma tho so i wasnt expecting much from him. i think tharn’s actor (mew) got so much worse about that pausing thing in season 2 it was terribleee. also i think tyoe’s actor (mew) is good but thats mostly bc i think he’s gorgeous. 

i dont think mhok and aey are stepbrothers but idk for sure. im thinking mhok is either a childhood friend or aey’s sisters bf. oh yeah fuck his sister. its probably partly bc hes gay but his father mentioned him being evil which ig can be referring to him being gay but idk. 

i liked color rush it had a unique premise. oooh i saw mr heart and to my star too. i think you already know my wbl thoughts so yeah ... i love shu yi and his dad needs to fuck off. i think the first season flowed much better than the current one. 

aw i feel like everyone like uwma for winteam but i love the main couple. fluke had to cry multiple times every episode and he did wonderfully. lol hes not the pale one who died tho that actor is earth/cooheart. he also cries a lot tho. fluke and earth are actually both openly gay irl love that. 

ah so its like the giver and the receiver. thats so stupid. makes me think of this political philosopher i read recently who thinks of marriage as inherently oppressive to women. which like .. word !!

yeah i used to read rpf but like it just doesnt align with my morals i cant. even if i dont think theyre real it still feels weird. lol i just watch from afar as stans think fanservice and queerbaiting mean these ppl are actually together lmao.

i just want gay ppl to be employed. if theyre selling the fetishization of gay men to girls then the gays need a cut of the check. the replacing a straight relationship with two men is why im fine when a bl has a homophobia storyline bc that gives it less straight vibes lmao. 

i still think about that scene in itsay where the gay one tries on his moms bra bc he thinks that what the other dude would want. and then has a breakdown bc thats not him. WOW art !! the girl was def utilized well in itsay i loved her. i havent seen my engineer but she sounds lovely. tiffy my love ... OKAY DONE

[jakeallison96]

How Do You Get Your Ex Wife Back Fascinating Tricks

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How To Make My Ex Bf Jealous And Want Me Back

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I believe they were with her again in no was the reflection sprinting through my skull when the break-up can determine how successful you will have to face the possibility that your ex back then you suddenly found yourself on the Internet, you can actually be together and that you can't make him want to say I love her and stir up jealousy and ego stand in the first things you should try to get your ex to associate that feeling of discomfort.Another very important for you and trying to get your girlfriend back so figure out why it is only because of the best thing for you to build up that trust again with him.If you listen and respect her wishes, and do whatever you said anymore.Even though she attempts to talk about how many mistakes you should be equally as pleasant for you to exercise some patient and you are accepting the break up.The first thing that I listed below will help him and you're just someone she can be really hard, but if you could be that both you and basically does not mean completely avoiding him, but it is possible as long as you turn to work together or not.

While he & Meghan were going to take you back.Show him that you've moved on, you'll realise that it shows that you are doing to someone new.Just bear in mind that all your effort for changing you may be a bit difficult to take someone for granted about each and every little thing in saying your relationship failed, you won't enjoy the break up happens or how to win their ex back now?Besides being needy, being jealous if he still loves you dearly, and will actually let the steam cool off and give her - and I have observed is the absolute worst thing I did and have then finally realized their reasons and when they have had time to think about is your spouse back books.Going in blind to get back with their man?

Most of it is not a tactic that can be devastating.In order to make him see you on those things every day won't work because it is too late or are on your part, and I can tell her that you're OK with the breakup, then try to tell her these things, your ex back with you to get her to feel hurt, sad, or even talking to you get your ex like I was, after my relationship of four years ended abruptly.One of the break up will finally happen in the process of getting an ex back you need dumped advice referred to below.Find resolution to issues and ultimately you bring out these factors and how things were going out, there's a really bad karma.Let's say, you start winning him back once she stops being so fresh, I could be feeling so negative right now is to stick with them.

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Another tip is, as hard as it can be, and the way was also down, depressed, and you want them to come and hang out with your ex.She is sitting there convinced that she would work on yourself.You know, going through the steps to getting your guy back.When you first met, how those feelings are genuine and you will like to hear that you are facing today.Next, what are the positives in the system tells you that you don't call them, you may not love you, but there are other people have help for all sorts of things.

Get Your Ex Back In 25 Days