#i just. i am going to [redacted] every doctor who was ever weird about stimulants @ me

[violaceum-vitellina-viridis]

okay so i am currently cram scrambling for finals week and i have pulled two all nighters in the last ...twelve days, with tonight marking the third

i really try not to do all nighters anymore, at least not on purpose; i used to do them a lot, but i have gotten it down to like one or maybe two a month, usually ones where i didn't get a choice because the insomnia got me or i slept too late and so was unable to get back to sleep in time before an early thing. if i do them on purpose it's because i've weighed my options and genuinely come to the conclusion that the all-nighter is the better option for logical reasons, like the last two and tonight

important thing to know about me: when i'm sleep deprived, i get hypomanic. something like 30% of people with ADHD have hypomania/hypomanic episodes, i happen to be one of them.

however. fascinating discovery i have made this go around, because i've been taking my meds religiously since i am cramming for finals:

if i am steadily medicated for the ADHD (i'm on a stimulant), as in i take my usual dose every 8 to 12 hours while i remain awake (all nighters tend to mean i am awake anywhere from 20 to 36 hours),

i don't get hypomanic.

the only variable i have changed in the finals scramble is religiously taking the stimulant. i have been hypomanic since i developed the chronic migraine development (just less, because sleep deprivation can also trigger the migraines, and i tend to sleep to cope with the migraines anyway). i have been hypomanic on each and every of the new drugs i'm on for the chronic migraine, and the combinations of them. i've been hypomanic on the stimulants, even! it's just that i've never before been this religious about taking them every 8-12 hours while i'm awake on the sleep deprivation train, and...i haven't had an episode.

the stimulant. is preventing. the hypomania.

lol. lmao. XD even. oh my fucking GOD --