#i just wish i could get mad for myself u know???

[rolandkaros]

got misgendered for the first time in like forever and the guy immediately corrected himself as soon as as i turned around to answer his question but instead of feeling shit for myself about getting misgendered i felt shit for my mom for having to hear him ask if i’m her son 😐

[zhinee]

looked at old pics of myself at the wrong time and now im crying.,

[ghostickle]

I really be cursed for everyone I meet to just end up using me huh

[sungwoonha]

actually a walk can’t fix me

[bethsvrse]

hi lovely! I was wondering if when u said you wrote for the marauders you meant just them or their era? also not sure if you're currently taking requests but if you aren't feel free to ignore this next part! could I please have remus lupin sfw headcanons or a short drabble (whichever you prefer 🫶🏽) about him being extra clingy near the full moon and he gets mad when Sirius jokingly tries to take you away from him?

also I'm around the same age as you and I was wondering if you wanted to be friends? totes fine if not 😎 also I love the way you write and you seem so cool. Could I be the 🫧 anon? thank youuuuu

p.s. random question but what's your opinion on taylor swift?

okay now actually byeeeeee

PAIRING Remus Lupin x reader

A/N hello!! I write for most people in the marauders era so not just the marauders. I have added you as 🫧 anon and as for Taylor Swift, I think she’s pretty cool! I wouldn’t consider myself a swiftie but I do listen to a few of her songs <3

WARNINGS absolutely nothing, just clingy Remus Lupin 🫶

As the full moon becomes closer, Remus has noticeable changes in his personality, specifically in his affection towards you. He's always been somewhat reserved in his displays of affection, opting for subtle gestures like casually wrapping an arm around you in the common room or discreetly intertwining your fingers under the desk during class but when the full moon rolls around, his need for your presence skyrockets.

With each passing day leading up to the event, Remus' longing to be near you grows more intense, as if he's magnetically drawn to your side. It's as though he finds comfort in your closeness, seeking refuge from the emotions stirring within him.

Remus has been sitting at the black lake for over half an hour now, wishing you were here with him but knowing that you asked not to be bothered when studying. Currently, you were in the Gryffindor common room with Sirius as you help him study for your guys’ history of magic test. Sirius has never been that good at remembering things, and since it’s a written test, he begged for your help.

Remus wrestled with conflicting emotions as he imagined you and Sirius in the common room. The mere thought of Sirius' hands near you stirred unease within him, knowing that sometimes Sirius' affectionate nature crosses a line. Despite recognizing Sirius's need for your help with studying, Remus couldn't shake the discomfort gnawing at him. With a heavy sigh, he turned away from the serene view of the lake, his steps quickening as he retreated to the safety of Gryffindor Tower, his longing for you clouding his rationality.

As Remus entered the common room, he saw you and Sirius huddled over the history of magic book, your heads close together in concentration. A pang of jealousy surged through him at the sight of Sirius's hand resting casually on your shoulder.

"Hey, mind if I join?" Remus asked, trying to keep his voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside him.

Sirius glanced up, a grin playing on his lips. "course."

Remus settled onto the couch beside you, his hand finding its way to your thigh, his touch gentle yet possessive. He felt a surge of satisfaction as you leaned into his touch, your focus momentarily faltering from the history of magic book.

But Sirius couldn't resist the opportunity to stir the pot. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he reached over and plucked the quill from your hand, his grin widening as he held it just out of your reach.

"Oi, Sirius, give that back," you protested, a playful edge to your tone as you reached for the quill.

Remus's jaw tightened, his possessive instincts kicking into overdrive at the sight of Sirius teasing you. He shot Sirius a warning glare, but his friend only chuckled, the quill still dangling tantalizingly between his fingers.

"Come on, Moony, lighten up," Sirius said, his tone teasing as he waggled the quill in front of you.

But Remus had reached his limit. With a growl of frustration, he snatched the quill from Sirius's hand, his grip tight as he shot his friend a glare that could curdle milk.

"Jesus Christ, Sirius" Remus said (basically yelled). "She’s my girlfriend so please stop flirting with her."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, taken aback by the intensity in Remus's voice. For a moment, there was a tense silence between them, the weight of Remus's unspoken emotions hanging heavy in the air.

Finally, Sirius sighed, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. "Sorry, Moony. I wasn’t flirting with her though. Just playing but I can take a hint. Just don't forget about our study session tomorrow, yeah?" He said, directing the last part at you.

And with that, Sirius made a show of gathering his things, his departure accompanied by an obnoxious huff and a theatrical eye roll. Remus watched him go, shouting out a meek “sorry” as he was walking out.

When the door swung shut behind Sirius, you turned to Remus, concern etched on your face. "Are you okay?" you asked, reaching out to gently touch his arm. Without a word, Remus leaned forward, his lips brushing against the crook of your neck in a tender kiss. "I'm fine," he murmured, his voice slightly muffled against your skin. "Just... feeling a bit... jealous, I suppose."

You couldn't help but chuckle softly, teasing him gently. "You, Remus Lupin, are jealous?" you teased, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

A playful smile tugged at his lips as he leaned back, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes. "Oh, shut up," he replied, his fingers twitching as if considering a playful retaliation.

Before you could react, Remus suddenly lunged forward, his fingers finding your sides and tickling mercilessly. Laughter bubbled from you, mixing with his own chuckles as you squirmed beneath his touch, trying to fend off his playful assault.

"Okay, okay, I surrender!" you gasped between laughs, breathless from both the tickling and the infectious joy in the room.

With a triumphant grin, Remus relented, letting you catch your breath as he leaned in to share a sweet kiss, a silent promise of his affection and devotion.

As the tension melted away, you wrapped your arms around each other, sinking into the comfort of the couch cushions and the warmth of the crackling fire. “Apologise to Sirius when you see him again though.” You mutter.

Remus pressed a kiss against your forehead, “I will, don’t worry.”

[berrieluv]

could u write a fic where peter and reader r having sex and he s rly rough but at some point he hurts her bc of his powers he got after the spider bite? and then he just takes care of her and its cute n soft <3333

Peter Parker x fem!Reader

cw. mentions of sex.

It didn't start as it usually did. Peter seemed eager, in a way he always is, but he's usually soft, gentle, your skin could burn for the way his body craved you.

Now it was burning because of his not so gentle touch. His fingers were now marked on your hips and his movements were faster, rougher.

You were enjoying yourself at the beginning, you really were. You liked this animalistic side of Peter, you liked the way he entered your through your room door, he tossed his backpack to the floor and got rid of his jacket, his glasses ended on your desk and now you were here.

Reaching what you thought was your third orgasm of the night? You couldn't keep track of it, not when your body was shaking and your pussy aching. Peter was usually good reading you, he knew when you wanted something and when you don't.

"Peter?"

You tried calling him, you wanted to tell you that the tears weren't from the pleasure, you wanted him to understand that the way that he called you a 'whore' made you so sad. You definitely weren't in the mood for any of this.

"Peter..."

You stay quiet for a few minutes until you felt him pulling out, you felt a weird relief, it was when he broke back that you felt you had enough.

You flinched at his touch, you pushed him away with your hands and pushed him further with your legs, he looked at you confused and he started to feel the guilt eating him alive when he saw your face.

"Baby..." You look at him, waiting for him to talk. You weren't mad at him, he may misread you but it wasn't like he purposely ignored your wishes. "Baby, what's wrong?"

You wanted to talk, to tell him what was wrong, that it was too much, he was too rough, he went too far.

"When did you get so strong?"

Of course the last thing you wanted was to make him feel bad, so you tried a subtly way. Peter froze, because he knew why he was rough, everything seemed to be too much, being Spider-Man, school, his only safe place in a whole city was you and he just wanted to forget.

He didn't address the question, instead he answered with another one;

"Did I hurt you?"

You nod slowly and watch as his face decomposes. He looks so sad and you feel so guilty, he just wanted to have a good time with you, with his girlfriend, and you were ruining everything.

"I'm sorry" you say first and he frowns.

"Sorry? Baby, no, I– I'm sorry, I'm the one who's sorry, I hurt you and I– God, I don't think I could ever forgive myself... I– " He opened his arms and you smiled lightly, finding your way to his chest "I'm usually so good at knowing when you want thing"

"It was one time"

"Never again, baby" He kisses your head "I'll be double checking on anything, and I swear... anything"

"S'alright, Pete"

"Kissie?"

[cyberkitty1]

Twin au /e!42 Miles and e!1610 Miles

Warnings: reader is female & mentions of like fighting

inspo from: @moodysunflowerbaby

GO READ WHAT THEY MAKE BC WOOOWEEE I CANT STOP GIGGLING!

I AM SOOOO EASILY INFLUENCED I CANTTT

How did you meet?

middle school you have classes with the both of them but 42 neverrr shows up. So when he does and 1610 doesnt, youre going crasy!

“ hey miles! you got the braids you have been talking about done? I like em’ on you; suit your face well.”

he just looks at you sideways ”nah im not miles im Mylo, Miles is my identical twin”

you sit there mouth open “ but you look exactly the same its crazy!” he gives you a look like youre dumb ” yea… identical twins.”

after that you would bother them about twin stuff like crazyyy

“ ok miles whats he thinking?” “ getting new shoes” you look at Mylo “REALLY?” “No” they say in unison.

“ wait if you are the same then do you share everything?” you say out of pure curiosity. Mylo looks at you with the most annoyed fave he could muster” no i don’t let his musty self touch my stuff” miles looks at him “ we doin this here?” “ ill do it wherever hermano”

dating one while being friends with the other (42)

you spend a lot of times in your room bc if you try to leave rio makes you take Mikes with you HAHAHA

“ooo that sounds fun! take your brother” shes says walking away “ on second thought we just gonna stay here” Mylo says walking you back to his room.

MILES NEVER KNOCKS!!

You guys dont do anything you wouldnt do in front of his mom but when Miles walks in asking for shoes or jewelry Mylo still gets annoyed.

“ tomorrow night we should go to the mall and then get dinner at-“

“Hey can i borrow some dunks?”

“ hey can you take yourself out of MY room before I remove YOU myself? What I tell you bout nocking?”

“ my bad” he says walking out

(1610)

Mylo pays like 0 mind but it still shocks him that he can pull yk? Not that Mylo likes you but how can his little brother that 0 shocking things about him get a girl?? just shocking.

“ you know what I think bout?”

“hm”

“ that you got a girl acting and looking like that”

“ nigga what? WE LOOK THE SAME”

Miles is so annoying about having a gf i cant

“ Mylo, yk what i got that you don’t have?”

“what”

“ A GIRLFRIEND” ( insert crazy ugly laugh)

GAURD. DOGS.

I AM SCREAMING

Imagine like guys dont like you and its a dumb reason like you rejected them and people dont know yall are frinds so they talk MAD SMACK about you and Miles and Mylo they egg egg them on to beat you up at a said location but they show up instead and get put on a hospital bed HAHA

^ do as you wish with that but if u use it LMK I GOTTA READ IT

______________________

taglist @soseoulol @shoyofroyoyoyo

______________________

side part NOT part 2 here

my taglist is open so please fill THIS out!!

if you filled it out and were NOT mentioned please dm me!!

i also cut my finger so writing is kind of difficult so bear with me 🤭

[rawbin-hsr]

Hi!! Saw ur taking requests, do you mind making some hcs for how a queerplatonic relationship with aven would be like? Demiro/ace aven is so dear to me, and being on the grayromantic spectrum myself, I really wanna just like, have this super deep bond with him where we're both each other's most important person without a doubt and physically affectionate but not like, romantic if u know what I meann (plus, I think a platonic relationship that goes past friendship and full of care would help him so much)

but I understand a lot of ppl aren't aware of how qpps work, so it's ok if you ignore this!! <3

ANON. ANON I LOVE YOU. YOU GET IT.

As someone on the aroace spectrum (I’m like 90% sure I can’t romantically love people; I only experience infatuation for three months at most before realising that I actually only want a close friendship 💀) I love love love this take on Aventurine and I’m so happy you’re asking me to do hcs on this !!!

This turned out a LOT longer than I planned and became like a whole story not just headcanons HELP I’m sorry bro I hope you don’t mind 😭😭🙏🙏 At the start it’s not even about being qpps it’s just about him learning to tolerate you that was not on purpose I apologise deeply, I promise the hcs come in at the end 💀

Queerplatonic Aventurine x Reader Headcanons

CW: queer dynamics, cursing, Aventurine’s messed up perception of people around him, Aventurine in general tbh (he's toxic I'm gonna be so real 😭), brief mention of sex but nothing actually happens, very soft and sweet (mostly), a lil bit of hurt/comfort, small mention of his sexual trauma towards the end, gender-neutral reader

Lmk if I missed anything !

Also sorry anon I forgot you specified demiro/ace he ended up basically just purely aroace 😭 I hope that doesn't matter too much </3

You’re not like everyone else, Aventurine realises quickly when he meets you.

Most people he surrounds himself with are closed off and guarded, but you are, surprisingly, not. In fact, your honesty is a bit… disarming. So complete he finds himself at a bit of a loss.

He thinks he doesn’t like you at first. He can’t avoid you, as you’re integral to this new project he’s working on, but he wishes he could. Something about you is deeply off-putting. He knows it is the way you never lie.

You’d think total honesty would be a weakness. He knows it would be for him. If he laid out all his cards on the table, he wouldn’t last another day. But the way you always leave yourself open is a new kind of defence in itself that he has never seen anyone else utilise before. When he tries to pry information out of you, you flatly tell him you can’t tell him that, that you know what he’s doing. You’re blatantly putting up barriers with him, and it drives him mad because usually, he can do a push and pull but that doesn’t work with you. It’s hard to be sneaky when you see right through him and stop him.

One day you tell him you would like to grab a coffee with him. He is sure you are flirting, that you mean it as a date. He is sure you want him, and though he usually limits these kinds of interactions to only flirting, nothing more, he’s getting frustrated with the way you never give. Perhaps you’d give more easily if he pretended to leave himself vulnerable to you?

But it’s not a date. You don’t flirt with him, but you don’t talk about business either. What’s worse, you shut him down when he flirts with you. It’s upsetting. Are you toying with him? Is this a weird power play? You don’t seem like that kind of person, but Aventurine is familiarly acquainted with the knowledge most people are not what they seem.

Maybe his anger gets the better of him at one point, an hour into the not-date when you’ve dragged him to the park to feed the ducks. He asks you what the purpose of this is, if you aren’t intending to get into his pants.

You tell him you just wanted to hang out. That you think he needs a friend.

He’s infuriated, because he can tell you’re being sincere.

He leaves, snarking that he already has friends. (He does not. Not really.)

But he can’t stop thinking about it. And he can’t avoid you, because you’re still needed for the mission and now, he’s sure he hates you.

You continue to be nice to him for some reason, even after that fiasco ?? He’s never encountered someone who’s so willing to just be nice to others merely for the sake of being nice. What kind of fucked up ulterior motives are you hiding? What sort of closet freak are you?

Aventurine knows, logically, that some people are just nice. It’s unreasonable to think every single person is as selfish as he is. He grew up surrounded by people who were just nice. But last time he had the fortune of actually interacting with such people, he was shorter than the desk at his office.

He wants to pry into your head, learn everything about you, know what it would be like to be your friend like you had offered. He wants you to fuck off to the other end of the galaxy so he never has to see you ever again.

He accepts when you invite him to go to the arcade with you.

It’s… weirdly soothing.

You’re good company, as much as he hates you. You’re funny and witty and playful and kind. There is no hidden agenda behind anything you do. You insist upon paying for half the tickets you play with at the arcade, even though he’s sure he has at least thirty times the amount of disposable income you have.

He wins most of the games, of course. You win less than half. He excels at the luck-based games, and he’s not half bad at the more skill-based ones, whereas you’re best at the latter. You stay away from the luck-based ones, and the ones you do attempt you fail every time. He’s honestly impressed by how unlucky you are. But at one point you still insist upon winning something for him, even though you both know he’d win it quicker himself.

At the end of the outing, you hug him, tell him you enjoyed yourself. He finds his chest feels oddly warm as you say it. It takes a moment to register the feeling as that of happiness, the sensation of real joy something unfamiliar to him. He smiles and hugs you back.

Maybe he doesn’t hate you.

You’re the first person he truly thinks of as a friend. Though he claims he has many, he knows he doesn’t really. The closest he had before you was maybe Topaz, or Ratio, but Topaz seems to view him as more of an annoying younger brother sometimes and he clearly gets on Ratio’s nerves. You're the first person who makes him feel truly... liked. A weird concept.

It’s not for his status or his money or his reputation. You turn him down when he tries to spend money on you. He’s not sure if that annoys him or if it makes him weirdly giddy.

Even long after his mission has ended, and he no longer needs you, you stick around. He lets you. He starts coming around for you too.

It’s fun to be around you. Again, you’re very good company. Smarter and funnier than most dimwits at the IPC. He considers inviting you to work under him, he’s sure the pay he could offer you would be better than what you currently make, but he doesn’t want to drag you too far into the mess that is his life.

He starts sleeping over at your house uninvited. He makes himself at home in your apartment. Your place is so much nicer than his, even if it’s smaller, run down and objectively a worse place to live in. The pipes in your sink clog too easily and the lights in the bathroom always flicker, despite your best attempts to fix it. But the rooms are all reminiscent of you, of what kind of person you are. Photos of your loved ones line the walls, trinkets you’ve picked up from various places decorate your shelves, and even though it looks messy he knows it’s all very organised from your point of view. It’s so different from his cold, clean, impersonal penthouse.

You cuddle him sometimes. Hug him and pull him into your chest when you watch movies. You play with his hair. You trace patterns on the back of his hand. Surely, those are all things lovers do? But your eyes never linger on his lips, you never look at him with yearning — he can tell you already have everything you want. It makes him feel… relieved.

He likes it when you touch him. He never liked being touched before, but you’re warm and gentle without being too light with him. You don’t touch him like he’s fragile, but you don’t intend to test his limits. You never stray from the safe areas on his body. You never touch with intent to go any further.

He feels safe.

Whenever he’s not out on business, he comes home to you. Will you have grown tired of him by next time, he always wonders. And the answer is always no. You’re always happy to see him.

He frequently finds himself thinking about you. He frequently finds himself missing you when he’s away. He sees things that remind him of you everywhere, and often wishes you were with him. All symptoms of being in love, he’s heard, but he doesn’t think he’s in love? To be fair, he has never experienced true attraction, and what he feels for you is certainly deeper and more intimate than what he’s ever felt for anyone else, so maybe he is in love with you.

But does romance not entail wanting to kiss you? Does romance not entail wanting to see you naked? Does romance not entail wanting to have sex? He doesn’t particularly crave any of those things.

He’s heard of ‘butterflies’ in your belly when seeing the one you love. He never feels that when he sees you. He only feels a deep sense of comfort, of contentment.

But he doesn’t like the thought of you being with anyone else the way you are with him. Jealousy is a sign of romantic feelings, yes? So maybe he does love you that way after all.

But he never asks you to be his partner. Whenever he considers it, something oddly heavy settles in his gut, and he doesn’t understand why. Why would the thought of being your partner leave him with dread? You’d make a wonderful lover, he knows. You already make a wonderful…

… friend? Can he really call you just a friend?

You call him or text him every day to make sure he’s okay. You send him photos of things that reminds him of you. You cook him meals when he visits you and you buy him gifts even though he could very well buy things for himself. You cuddle him and hug him and you sometimes even, albeit playfully, kiss his knuckles or the top of his head and you let him sleep in your bed with you.

Calling you only a ‘friend’ diminishes your worth, does it not? He calls everyone he meets ‘friend’. He can’t reduce you to something so… insignificant.

So he asks you one day, when you’re both sat on opposite sides of your couch, your legs splayed out over his lap as you eat popcorn. He asks:

“What are we?”

You look at him. And you smile.

“I don’t know.”

He blinks. You sound so serene as you say it. Are you not worried about this? Why do you seem so unconcerned with what he is to you?

Sensing his discomfort, you set the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table, and scoot closer to him. His arms automatically wrap around your waist as you shift yourself to lean against him, leaning down to place your head on his shoulder.

“I don’t need to label what we are. I’m happy with things as they are. Are you?”

He nuzzles his face into your hair, inhaling the by now familiar scent of your shampoo.

“I am.”

“You don’t sound entirely convinced.”

He huffs, pulling you closer.

“… Maybe I don’t want you to treat others the way you treat me.”

(He doubts you would. You have more integrity than he’s ever had: he’s aware there is some level of mutual understanding that whatever you are is something exclusive.)

You laugh.

“You think I treat others like you?”

“Can’t be sure,” he hums playfully, pinching your side. “Who knows, maybe you say that to all the guys.”

“I don’t like ‘all the guys’,” you point out. “I only like you this way.”

“What does ‘this way’ mean, then?”

You pull back to look at him. Gaze as warm and kind as always, a smile on your lips.

“Well, I love you a lot. A lot more than I love others. I’m not sure what answer you want.”

You’ve never explicitly stated the word ‘love’ before. Something hot and giddy fills his chest, something awfully childish, but he ignores it.

“Do you want me to be your… boyfriend?” he asks hesitantly. He’s not sure what he feels about the idea himself.

“I mean, if that’s what you want,” you shrug, sounding so casual about the idea that he doubts you’re that enthusiastic about it. (Should he feel offended?) “I just don’t want anything to change between us. I really like what we’ve got going on.”

He leans back into you, burying his face into your hair again. His arms squeeze your waist.

“… I like what we’ve got going on, too,” he admits. The honesty feels a little less foreign on his tongue than it used to, before he met you.

“I guess it’d be easier to call you my boyfriend than my ‘very close friend who eats all my food and sleeps in my bed half the time’,” you add teasingly. He snorts, pulling back just enough to shoot you a playful glare.

“Food that I pay you back double for,” he points out. You snicker, but don’t respond.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” You ask instead after a moment, reaching up to play with his hair. He leans into the touch.

He’s quiet for a moment, considering the question.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I guess you’re right that it’d be easier to call each other that. Maybe we should go for it.”

“Sounds good,” you agree, and that’s that.

And nothing changes in your relationship. All that changes is the title.

You cuddle and you hug and you spend time together. Whenever you flirt, it’s more of an inside joke than anything else. You go on not-dates nearly once a week, whenever he’s home to do that.

He doesn’t tell people what you really are to him. He doesn’t even have the words to describe it himself. It doesn’t matter to him than anyone else knows either. Maybe he’s just a little bit happy, even, to get to keep the secret of what you are to himself. It somehow feels more special when only the two of you know.

He starts confiding in you. Telling you things he would not tell anyone else. Things he previously thought he would bring to his grave. About himself, about his past, his thoughts and his feelings. You always hold him, let him speak until it’s off his chest, and you murmur comforting words. He feels so much lighter after, every time.

You tell him your secrets too. Your doubts and your worries. He holds you in return, and tries to soothe your concerns. He knows he’s not as good at it as you, but you seem to appreciate it anyways.

He doesn’t trust anyone else. Only you. You’re the only one he knows he can always turn to, the only person he knows for sure doesn’t mean him any harm.

He brings you gifts and trinkets he finds when he’s away. He’s gotten pretty good at figuring out what sort of things you like. You always give him the sweetest smile when he does, thank him with a hug, and put the item to use right away. Whether that means displaying a decoration somewhere along your already overfilled shelves, putting on a bracelet or trying out a new kitchen appliance that night. He starts to think that the point of wealth is to give you all the things you could want.

For some reason, the intimate nature of your relationship doesn’t scare him. The fact that you’ve told him he’s ’more like the closest friend you could ever want to have than a lover’ puts him at ease. Your commitment to one another doesn’t feel as frightening that way.

You prioritise him over your other commitments. You tell him he’s your ‘favourite person’, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop feeling warm in his chest when he thinks about it. You’re his favourite, too.

Sorry I seriously ran out of steam for this format here, moving on to headcanons from another perspective because I am NOT DONE !!!! (next part won't have been proof-read at all sorry guys it will just be unhinged rambling)

I don't think Aventurine would necessarily know what queerplatonic means, (and the way I've written Reader here they probably wouldn't go out of their way to research it either lol I think they're just the type to be like "well I'm happy so why would I need to know every little detail about what this is ?? 😊") and he doesn't really understand the nature of your relationship himself HELP

He just knows it's not romantic, and that really puts him at ease

I think Aventurine is like. EXTREMELY toxic in a romantic relationship because the though of that sort of commitment scares him on a very deep and personal level and it FREAKS. HIM. OUT. but I think a platonic relationship, even if it's just as deep, freaks him out a little less. It just feels different yknow ?

Idk how to formulate myself but I think that, after being looked at for like basically his whole life as a commodity (and, even worse, a literal sex object), the thought of being looked at without ANY sexual desire or romantic interest just really kind of puts him at ease.

Especially in this read of him as demi/aroace, I think he'd appreciate being seen in a purely platonic light. I personally don't think he is aroace in the way I normally write him, but even in the way I usually write him I do think a queerplatonic relationship would be deeply comforting for him

Like, think reader being aroace and being in a queerplatonic relationship with him and he's like actually in love with them,,, I don't think he'd mind that too much. He'd think it was so nice that you love him enough to be in a relationship even if you don't romantically love him. Even if it would be nice too if you did desire him that way, he'd like it either way

Sorry got off track there mb

Queerplatonic relationships are tricky to write because there is no real "norm" for what they entail like,, fuck man I'M aroace and I barely know what it means to be in a qpps

Like,, from my understanding it can be essentially the same as a "normal" relationship where you kiss and get married and have kids and all that stuff but you do it without romantic intent

or it can be a friendship that just goes really really deep, and you're just like,,,, idk roomates PLS

But I think a qpps with Aventurine would be somewhere inbetween what others would think a "normal" romantic relationship would be and just a very close friendship

I already mentioned cuddles, and like chaste kisses to more "safe/platonic" areas (forehead, top of head, hands etc). You sleep in the same bed and you basically go on dates ("not-dates" lol). I think he'd be fine with like kisses to the lips and playful flirting, but he wouldn't want to make out or have sex. He would however love to cuddle naked lol (the intimacy without any sexual intent,,,, yeahyeah I hope you get me here I lovveee lovelove the idea of just touching him and it's just sweet and urghhghh)

Everyone else definitely thinks the two of you are in love and neither of you correct people because who cares

Esp Aventurine I don't think he WANTS others to know what you are to a point where he'll actively try to make it seem more like a romantic relationship in front of others

Because what you are is very precious to him, and he maybe feels just slightly maybe just a bit irrationally possessive over the concept of your relationship PLS

Like no he doesn't want anyone to understand your bond. That is SPECIAL. It is only for him and you to understand back off

I love my toxic unhealthy mentally deranged king

I think I've said everything I wanted to say now so I'm ending it off here. Worst case scenario I'll be back with a part 2 or a reblog to add more LMAO I just can't shut up bro

♡ ∩_∩ („• ֊ •„)♡ |￣U U￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| | Thanks for reading! | ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

Thanks for reading I appreciate it !!! I hope this was at least somewhat comprehensible <3 Remember that my inbox is open and I lovelovelove to receive requests <3

[milaisreading]

Limited amount!!

🌱🩷: here is something for thr Crossdresser!Yn AU. I have been so depressed ever since I saw the leaks for the new JJK chapter... this is kind of helping me to get my mind off of it. Hope u like it🩷

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. In the story the boys will be using he/him when addressing Yn. Requests for this series are open.

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

"Are you...are you sure about this?" Anri asked the striker in front of her while Ego sat on his chair, eating his noodles.

"I think it's for the best, Teieri-san. To not waste money on manufacturing something that won't sell well." (Y/n) argued, confused as to why the older woman was so reluctant with agreeing. After all, the JFU would probably embrace the idea of saving money.

"Yeah, but... just 15? (Y/n), you know you do have fans-"

"I think that's for the best. I definitely don't have Isagi or Rin's popularity,  so I don't think my figurine will sell well. Please spare me this humiliation, Teieri-san, Ego-san. " (Y/n) explained as she held the prototype of her figurine that Anri gave her. It was nothing special, just a smaller version of her smiling in the Blue Lock uniform. There was a short silence as the striker looked at the two for a moment, hoping they will do her this one favor.

"I can't just-"

"Fine." Ego interrupted Anri, both now looking at the man.

"You did prove to be a great player and so far hid your identity very well. So we will grant you this one wish." Ego said as he finished his food. (Y/n) looked at him in shock for a moment, but then smiled and bowed.

"Thank you. Thank you, Ego-san." She kept repeating to the man, who just nodded his head. Anri looked nervously between the duo, wondering how all of this will end up.

"It's so weird seeing merch of myself." (Y/n) mumbled to herself as she walked to the bedroom she shared with Isagi, Rin, and Bachira. She chuckled a little, already knowing she will be greeted by Rin doing his usual yoga, and Isagi and Bachira messing around. And sure enough, when she opened the door she saw just that. Bachira and Isagi were telling jokes while Rin tried to hide his irritation while doing his normal yoga routine.

"(Y/n)! Where were you?! I need my hug buddy!" Bachira exclaimed as he saw the girl enter their room and lunged at her.

"Bachira, wait!" She shrieked as the boy ran to and engulfed her into a hug, nearly causing the girl to fall down. The girl stumbled back, but thankfully grabbed onto a wall to not injure himself or something.

'Bachira might not look like much, but God is he strong.'

"Hey, Bachira, could you maybe let go of me?" (Y/n) asked nervously.

"Nope~" The bicolored boy sang out, causing her the sigh and pat him on his back a few times. Meanwhile, Rin and Isagi were sending death glares at Bachira's back. Both were mad that he was the one to hug (Y/n) first, but also for causing her to nearly fall down.

"Bachira, let go of him." Isagi spoke up finally and went to grab Bachira's shirt, pulling the boy away from (Y/n).

"Hey!" The boy protested.

(Y/n) internally thanked Isagi for giving her the free space back.

"I will hug you later, Bachira. I am just really tired right now." She spoke up, trying to stop their argument, but neither was listening.

Rin, on the other hand, was staring at the trio in anger. Not only were they causing him a ruckus, but (Y/n) also said she will hug Bachira later.

'That mediocre player really doesn't deserve it.' He rolled his eyes, but then they landed on a small item on the floor. One he never saw before in his life.

Rin walked over and picked it up, only to discover that it was a small figurine of (Y/n).

When Bachira hugged her, she ended up losing her grip on the item, and neither her or the other two noticed it.

'What is this? And why does it look like (Y/n)?' Rin wondered, tapping the smiling figurines cheek.

'I basically touched his face now.' Rin thought with a blush, then looked over at the trio.

"Lukewarm, (Y/n)." He cleared his throat as the trio looked at him.

"Yes?" She asked as the other two sent Rin a glare for calling her a lukewarm.

"What is this?" He asked while showing them the figurine. Isagi and Bachira's eyes widened when they saw the item.

'A mini (Y/n)!' Bachira thought with stars in his eyes.

'So adorable!' Isagi's face turned redder.

"Oh... the JFU wants to test a first merch launch, and they picked me for it. It's just a prototype of what it will look like." (Y/n) explained, walking over to Rin and taking it our of his hand.

"Merch?! Of you?!" Bachira asked in excitement.

"Yeah... it's launching in two weeks." (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders, walking over to her shelf to put the item on it.

"So we- I mean, your fans will have the chance to own a mini you?!" Isagi asked with a huge smile and blush as (Y/n) turned to look at him.

"Basically."

Rin kept quiet as he stared at the figurine with wide eyes, also excited over these news.

'I will definitely buy one.' The three thought in determination.

"Tho, I was honored to be the first one, it would have been better if they picked a more popular player. I don't think mine will sell well, so I asked them to make only 15 of these." (Y/n) finished explaining, and the last part definitely left them deflated. 'ONLY 15?! How can I get one even?!' Bachira thought, already panicking that be won't be able to get his hands on one of the figurines.

'(Y/n), why would you do that?! How will I get my hands on one, when I have to fight against both your fangirls and the other players?!' Isagi gulped as anxiety took over his body.

'This lukewarm needs to work on his confidence, now I will have to start a blood bath.' Rin groaned.

"A-are you 3 alright?" (Y/n)'s worried voice interrupted their thoughts, and all 3 quickly nodded their heads.

"Of course we are!"

"Only 15?!" Reo and Barou exclaimed in disbelief as the trio explained the whole story from last night.

"What sort of confidence does he even have? Nagi, Reo, this is your fault." Otoya grumbled, earning side-glares from the two.

"How is this our fault? We didn't do anything." Nagi protested.

"Exactly that!" Yukimiya said, fixing his glasses.

"If you were good friends to (Y/n), you would have noticed he was in distress with his self-worth. Now, with me he would have not had these issues. I would have told (Y/n) everyday how wonderful and talented he is." The model said proudly, earning a scowl from Reo.

"Please shut up, show off. You are just mad (Y/n) doesn't like you."

"But Yukimiya does have a point." Karasu chimed in, glaring at Reo.

"Didn't you two basically abandon him during the 1st selection? Even during the 2nd one, Nagi, you basically acted like he didn't exist."

Barou pointed it out, which irritated the duo.

"You know nothing." Nagi said, glaring at the red-eyed boy.

"This is not the point now." Aryu clapped his hands, causing the rest to look at him.

"Aryu is right, we should focus on what's important." Kunigami added in.

"And that is, how do we get one of those figurines when there is only 15?"

The room fell silent as neither really knew how to answer that.

"Maybe we could try convincing (Y/n) that he should go for more figurines? Isagi, Barou, you two are the closest to him. Maybe you should try it." Kurona suggested as everyone looked at the duo. Both of them looked at each other, and then shook their heads.

"I don't think we should do that. It's his decision and I don't want him to feel bad about it." Isagi answered, Barou for the first time agreeing with something.

"Yeah... forcing him or convincing him will do us all more harm than good." Hiori added in.

"Well then, it's every man for himself. I will get my hand on one of those figurines." Karasu declared with a smirk.

"Not if I do first!" Bachira challenged back.

"Logically thinking, it's more likely that only one of us gets one... (Y/n) has many fans, so we are not competing just among each other anymore." Niko reminded them.

"Well, then I will be the one to get it." Rin said after a short pause, causing the rest to look at him weirdly.

"Now, why would you be the to get it?!" Otoya questioned.

"Because, I am the best one in this facility, therefore I deserve it more."

"Just because you are the best one, doesn't mean you deserve a figurine, Rin-chan~" Bachira said cheerfully.

"What?" Rin asked, irritated by the boy's remark.

"Bachira is right, if anything, someone who is close to (Y/n) should get the figurine. And that someone is me!" Chigiri finally spoke up, shocking everyone.

"What?! How are you the closest one with him?" Yukimiya remarked.

"We both braid each other's hair and talk for hours about the most random things-"

"So do I with (Y/n)." Aryu chimed in, which caused Chigiri to glare at him instead.

"Shut it. (Y/n) and I have spent so many hours training, we are the closest." Otoya added in, which drew Tokimitsu and Kunigami's attention.

"H-He does the same thing with me! Wh-which means I am pretty close with him, too!" Tokimitsu exclaimed.

"He is always there to help me with his skills, and even trains with me in the gym." Kunigami chimed in, causing a whole separate argument between them.

"This is ridiculous!" Reo sighed loudly, then pointed at himself and Nagi.

"Nagi and u have known (Y/n) for way longer than any of you have. We know everything there is to know about him."

This caused Barou and Isagi to roll their eyes.

"Yeah, and he trust us the most. He would be probably more happy for us to have a figurine than you guys-"

"Nagi, you and Reo literally turned your backs on him back in the beginning of this project. You have no leg to stand on." Isagi interrupted the albino, which made the duo tense up a little.

"And we apologized! He would vouch for us now!" Reo added in.

"None of you really deserve the figurine." Barou finally spoke up.

"(Y/n) and I have been partners since the beginning, we are the closest here. Especially after all the late night trainings." The king explained.

"But, you forget that (Y/n) has been chasing after me the whole time. Even during the 3rd selection, he always asked to train with me." Isagi added in proudly, drawing Rin's attention on him.

"Oh please. (Y/n) is probably too nice to tell you that you got boring. Why would the literal #2 of this facility go and seek out your assistance. I am the perfect choice. We especially got close during the 2nd selection when we would have dinner together after practice." The younger Itoshi explained, obviously mad that Isagi reminded him that (Y/n) always chased after him, never after Rin. The #1 player in Blue Lock.

"This is stupid. (Y/n) and I are obviously closer, our humor and passion to become better obviously bonds us the best." Karasu snorted.

"Karasu, no offense, but it's obvious that (Y/n) and I are closer. After all, he would come to talk to me about fashion choices."

As they argued, Hiori, who was standing next to Niko, spoke up as well.

"Now, I would be worthy of the doll too. After all, (Y/n) and I share similar homes, and we talk for hours about different video games."

"(Y/n) likes talking to me a out different sea animals. Even helps me with my braid sometimes. It's very nice of him." Kurona added in with a slight blush.

"Well, (Y/n) and I share a love for anime and manga. We would sometimes go to the monitor room and watch different animes on our phones. We even fell asleep there a few times." Niko admitted.

"So you are the reason he sometimes isn't in bed?!" Bachira yelled with a menacing smile.

"Niko, do you know how many nights I couldn't cuddle up to him while he slept?!"

"Bachira, that's weird!"

"What even-"

Hiori and Kurona said, staring at the bicolored boy. While everyone wad busy arguing, Gagamaru blinked at them a few times before walking out of the dining hall, an idea already brewing in his brain.

"Hmmm..."

2 weeks had passed, and the day of the merch launch finally happened. All the boys were anxiously waiting on their phones for the orders to start. They were all determined to get one of the figurines. They were so adorable, and captured the beauty of the striker perfectly. And finally, when the minute of the launch arrived, they quickly went to click on the 'order' option, only for them to be met with the most soul crushing sign.

'Sold out!' Read in big, red letters as if to mock the boys about their fail.

They expected something like this to happen, but it hurt the same.

Right now, they were all in the dining hall again, all depressed over losing the opportunity to get the (Y/n) figurine.

"I hate today." Reo said, resting his head on the table.

"I agree." Karasu and a few others nodded their heads as the door opened.

"Huh? Are you guys alright?" (Y/n)'s voice caused them to jump up and look at her.

"F-fine!" Isagi spoke up.

"We are great, just tired. And you? You seem pretty happy?" Karasu spoke up, noticing how less tense she was now.

"Oh? Ego-san just told me that the figurines of me sold out today, and they will do a relaunch in a month."

"Relaunch?! How many will it be this time?" Bachira asked as all eyes were on her.

"I don't know... maybe like 300 to 500, based on what Ego-san said." (Y/n)'s explanation caused them to sigh in relief a little. Finally they will have the chance to own one of those figurines.

"By the way, here, Gagamaru. As promised!" (Y/n) said, walking over to the goalkeeper, putting the prototype of her figurine on the table. The boy nodded quickly and slid his dinner to her as she sat across from him.

"Uhm... why are you giving Gagamaru that figurine?" Chigiri wondered.

"Oh? He promised to give me his dinner for a month in exchange for the figurine. His dinner happens to be my favorite dish!" (Y/n) explained cheerfully and went back to eating. She didn't register to cold looks and deathly glares Gagamaru was getting, but the boy didn't care. He just sat on his chair, smiling fondly at the figurine.

'Bastard!'

'That should have been me!!'

The group thought over and over, now hoping that the relaunch will happen as soon as possible.

[tkaulitzlvr]

could u do 2008 tom getting in an argument with the reader and after arguing a lot, the reader just tries to go to bed. after a couple mins, tom realizes he was wrong and tries to climb in bed with the reader and is like super clingy and tries to touch the reader but gets ignored. and he’s all like “yk how i get when i can’t touch you” AUGHH😩😩 and then it’s js smut that ends with fluff/aftercare

btw ur my fav writer ever i absolutely adore ur writing 🖤

LET ME SHOW YOU - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: you are tired of arguing, deciding to go to bed before things get too out of hand. tom realises that he has messed up, but you are being stubborn, still not over what he has done. he doesn’t give up so easily, begging to get what he wants.

content: angst to smut, little bit of fluff throughout.

a/n: thank u so much that really means a lot!! love this idea, i hope u enjoy!💞

“you know what? i’m done. i’m tired of explaining this to you when you clearly don’t get it.” i huff, shaking my head and running my hands through my hair.

“you’re right. i don’t get it. you’re mad at me for doing my job!” he shoots back, eyes cold and dark, jaw clenched as he stands across from me on the other side of the kitchen.

“you can’t be fucking serious! don’t paint me as some clingy selfish girlfriend when all i’m asking is that you don’t come home at midnight every night, and go straight to bed! it’s like we aren’t even together anymore. we live in the same house but we never talk, never communicate. you only show me affection if it’s a quick kiss or hug, or you want sex.” i rant, fuming at his lack of mindfulness, failing to believe how he is so oblivious.

“what so we’re just lying now, is that what this is?” he scoffs, taking a breath before continuing. “cause you know that’s not true. i always hug you, kiss you, tell you i love you, don’t i? and you know that i value you way beyond sex, so don’t even go there.”

“you’re completely missing the point!”

“then what is the fucking point?”

his voice raises far higher than mine, louder than it ever has before. he would never raise his voice at me, not like this. my mouth opens, tears clouding my vision as i am taken aback at his sudden outburst, but he doesn’t seem to care, my silence only seen as an invitation to keep going.

“hm, what is the point? you’ve always known that my job demands a lot of me, and i told you that it would be difficult, but i’m trying my best. if i could be with you more, i would. you know that we’re pushing to get this album perfect, so can you give me a fucking break and stop acting like i’m some awful boyfriend?” he shouts, anger laced within every word, each one stabbing me right in the heart, making me feel stupid for even bringing this whole conversation up. i just missed him, but he couldn’t seem to understand why.

i nod my head, pursing my lips together as the tears cascade down my cheeks.

“okay. i’m going to bed.” i whisper, not waiting for him to respond, turning away from him and leaving the kitchen, trudging up the stairs towards our bedroom. he doesn’t follow me, instead i hear a loud bang come from the kitchen, his fist colliding with the counter as he curses in frustration.

the room is strangely cold as i walk into it, completely dark with little natural light coming through the window despite the curtains still being wide open, reminding me of how late it is - and how long i had been waiting for tom to come home. my feet walk along the carpet, the floorboards creaking a little until i arrive at my bed, climbing into it and letting the covers embrace me, instead of tom. i feel numb, not enough energy in me to cry, yet too upset to just sleep it off. instead, i stare out of the window, the cityscape invading my eye line as i try to distract myself from what had just happened, watching the world around me as it moves on and on, wishing that i could do the same.

the door slowly creaks open, my head turning in its direction as tom walks through it, his expression one of pure regret. he is silent, not saying a word as he goes over to the mirror, taking his cap off and placing it gently on the dresser, taking his dreads out of their ponytail, his eyes suddenly meeting mine through the mirror as i stare into them.

“baby can we talk?” he says, still looking at me through the mirror as he removes his shirt, folding it neatly and leaving it on top of the dresser, his bare back facing me from across the room.

“about what?” i scoff, finally breaking the eye contact and laying down, staring motionlessly at the ceiling. “you were pretty sure of what you said, there’s nothing else to speak about.”

my gaze still fixed on the ceiling, i hear him step away from the mirror, walking cautiously towards the bed. i feel it dip beside me, before two arms snake around my waist.

i roughly pull away from his grip, taking his hands and shoving them back in his direction, not falling for his attempts to iron out the tension, especially ones that involve him putting his hands on me.

“baby…you know i didn’t mean any of that.” he calmly speaks, trying again to touch me, this time taking my hand in his. once again, i refuse, shuffling even further away from him.

“can you not touch me? i’m not in the mood for your shitty apologies just- go to sleep.” my voice is harsh, hurt taking over his expression as i speak, but i don’t feel an ounce of sympathy for him. instead, seeing him experience even a fraction of the sadness that he had just put me through satisfies me.

“leibe…please listen to me. i’m so sorry.” he begins, turning onto his side so that he is now facing me. “i’ve been a shitty boyfriend lately, you don’t deserve that. i’ve just been so caught up with the album and it brought me away from you, but i shouldn’t have let it. please baby, please forgive me. i’ll never let this happen again.”

as he comes to the end of his speech, his hand tentatively reaches for my cheek, his thumb trying to stroke the skin, but i move backwards, becoming irritated at his ignorance.

“are you deaf? stop touching me tom!” i ignore his apology, because right now, it means nothing to me, his initial words still a fresh wound. no apology, no matter how sincere, would be enough to make me forget them just yet.

“schatz, please, you know how i get when i can’t touch you. don’t accept my apology, don’t talk to me, i get it, i deserve it. but please my love, just let me hold you, that’s all i want.” he begs, his voice reducing to a whisper as it cracks a little.

his love language had always been physical touch, and, even when we were fighting, he would always hold me whilst we slept, no matter how mad i was. i knew that me refusing his touch was getting to him and, despite me being completely infuriated, it was impossible to ignore the slight pang of guilt that settled in my heart as i listened to his pleas.

i say nothing, moving a little closer to him, leaving enough space so that he would have to reach out to be able to touch me. he takes my silence as a yes, inching his body closer to mine, his arms pulling me tightly into him, his head resting in the crook of my neck. i feel him relax a little, his shoulders dropping as he pulls me further into his embrace, holding me so tightly that i can feel his heartbeat from within his chest. his breathing tickles my neck, his head snuggling into it as he takes in my scent, clearly having missed being this close to me. but still, i say nothing, giving him this small sense of comfort though anger still courses through my veins, in no position to forgive him just yet. however, it is impossible to deny the security i gain from his embrace, the way his hands run comfortingly up and down my back giving me a sense of contentment that only he can bring.

“i love you. i love you so much.” he whispers into my neck, planting a short and soft kiss there. “you’ll never understand how much i love you baby, you’re everything to me, my whole world.”

his hands begin to caress my lower back, travelling downwards and giving my ass a soft squeeze as his lips plant slow kisses on my neck and collarbone, all whilst he continues to whisper sweet nothings into my ear, pouring his heart out whilst his movements begin to increase - making his intentions crystal clear.

“tom please, not now. i’m still mad at you.” i say, trying to keep my voice stern, but an elongated sigh pours from my parted lips once his find the spot below my ear that makes me go crazy.

“you won’t be once i’m finished, i promise baby. just let me show you what you mean to me, mhm?” he asks, pulling his head from my neck to look into my eyes, a glint of desperation present within them.

i study his features, starting at his brown eyes - warm and enticing, looking into mine with so much admiration, so much love. his skin, smooth and flawless, unable to count how many times i have felt it against mine. his lips, soft and inviting, decorated with a small metal ring, loving how it would always feel against me, the harshness of it always contrasting with the warmth of his lips as they would move against mine.

and it is that small glance that makes me give in, my hands reaching for his head as i pull it downwards, quickly joining his lips with mine. he is taken aback, but it only takes him a few seconds to kiss me back, cupping my face with his hands and bringing me in even closer, our bodies merging as one.

he pulls away, a soft smile tugging on his lips as he begins to gently remove my clothing, starting with my shorts, kissing upwards until he reaches my hoodie, that soon following, leaving me in only my lingerie.

“so perfect.” he mutters, pecking my lips. “you’re so beautiful meine liebe, you know that?”

my cheeks heat up at his words as they spill like liquid gold from his pink lips, our fight feeling further and further away. it becomes harder to imagine that it ever happened, the way he touches me with such care making it seem almost impossible.

his clothes already off as he always sleeps in just his boxers, he reaches to remove his underwear, turning his attention to my own panties, letting them join the existing pile of clothes scattered around the room.

he moves to the top of the bed, sitting with his back resting against the headboard, gently picking me up and placing me into his lap as i straddle his waist, hands resting his shoulders as i stare into his eyes, a little nervous as i am never usually the one on top.

“tom i-”

“shhh, you’re okay, just ride.” he comforts, moving loose strands of hair from my face, placing a reassuring kiss on my lips.

i nod hesitantly, lifting my hips up and sliding down onto him, moaning as i take him in, my walls stretching as they become accustomed to his size. tom’s head has fallen backwards, fingers digging into my hips a little as his lips are parted, no noise escaping from them.

once i am used to his size, i begin to bounce slowly, picking up a steady rhythm as tom continues to hold on to my hips, helping me move.

“doing so well baby. just like that.” he sighs, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, eyes squeezing shut.

it doesn’t take long for my legs to ache, no longer able to continue moving up and down, already tired. my movements are slow and lethargic, almost half-hearted as i try my best to keep going, chasing my release as i crave it more than anything, tom clearly feeling the same as his hold on my waist only tightens, his grip strong enough to leave faint marks on the skin.

“i can’t.” i whine, frustrated that i can’t keep going, completely spent. i fall forwards, collapsing onto tom’s chest, still inside him as he slowly thrusts upwards into me, his arms wrapping around my back as he kisses my forehead.

“you did so good baby, don’t worry.”

those are the only words he says before swiftly flipping us over, my back flush against the mattress as he begins to thrust into me at a relentless pace from above, my mouth falling open as loud moans pour from it, his name a mantra as it effortlessly falls from my lips. he hits places within me that have never been touched before, so deep inside me that i can feel him in my stomach, a small bulge visible as he moves in and out of me.

“love you so much, fuck-” tom groans, his hands on my thighs as he kneads the flesh, prying them further apart as the pleasure prompts them to try close around his waist.

“getting close baby, you close?” he mutters, moving his head so that his forehead is against mine, eyes studying my face as he awaits my response.

all i can do is let out an almost inaudible ‘mhm’, so close to my release that i can almost feel it, the knot in my stomach ready to burst any second. the way his dick twitches inside of me tells me that he is there too, his thrusts irregular.

“let go schatz, cum for me.” he says, watching as my face twists in pleasure, my release washing over me, the pressure of his coming at the same time too much as i squeeze my eyes shut, hands clutching onto his upper arms. my entire body shakes, the feeling overwhelming, mouth open in a silent scream as tom moans into my ear, still rocking in and out of me slowly, riding out our highs.

i am completely spent, laying motionless beneath him, my throat raw from the sounds that had emitted from it, breathing heavy and reckless. tom pulls out, wiping a few tears from my eyes that i hadn’t even realised had fallen, kissing the skin afterwards.

“you okay baby? you did so good, did i go too hard?” he says, my mind not fully registering what he is saying as i am completely exhausted, eyes starting to flutter shut. “you can’t sleep yet, let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

i manage a weak nod, feeling tom lift me up bridal style, carrying me into the bathroom and carefully placing me on the counter. he walks over to the bath, turning the taps on and letting the water run, before rushing back over to me, taking a damp cloth and wiping me with it as a jolt when he is a little too rough, the area sensitive.

“sorry baby.” he mutters, kissing my forehead, separating my legs and moving to stand between them, embracing me in a hug and resting his head on top of mine whilst the bath fills up, small ‘i love you’s’ escaping his lips as he rubs my back, trying to soothe me in any way he can.

after a couple of minutes, he picks me up, gently placing me in the bath as the water submerges me, the warmth of it already easing the aching pain that runs through my body. he climbs in behind me as i sit between his legs, my back against his chest.

he washes my hair, massaging the shampoo into my scalp as my head falls backwards onto his shoulder, the feeling relaxing me even more, completely at peace in his arms. he moves to my body, carefully washing the delicate skin, planting occasional kisses on my shoulders and back as my breathing slows, on the verge of falling asleep.

he sees that i am too tired to stand up myself, picking me up and carrying me out as i wrap my arms and legs around him. he finds a towel, setting me back on the counter and drying my body, leaving the bathroom for a second and returning with some fresh ‘pyjamas’ - which consisted of a random t-shirt of his and some clean panties.

“come on baby, put these on then we can go to bed, mhm?” he says as i lift my arms up, allowing him to place the t-shirt onto my small frame, the material hanging off my figure as it reaches my knees. he takes my panties, moving them up my legs slowly, my hips bucking upwards so he can fully put them on me, finally putting his own underwear on.

he takes me to the bedroom, tucking me into bed and placing the covers over me, climbing in beside me, his arms wrapping around my waist as i cuddle into him.

“i’m so sorry for everything. i love you.” he whispers, kissing my hair softly.

i mutter a small ‘love you’ against his chest, falling asleep within minutes, completely exhausted.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[desire-mona]

realising none of u have seen my writing before which is. a good thing probably. anyway i thrive best in letter writing format so here's a letter todd wrote to neil after he took a gun induced nap

(obvious tw for death and suicide and general grief adjacent feelings)

-

December 20th, 1959

Neil,

I’ve tried to write this about 7 separate times now, but I feel like I can never get the right combination of words to properly describe how I’m feeling. I don't really know why I’m writing this in the first place, I know you won't be able to read it. I guess I don't need a reason. I don't think I’ll be able to get it right no matter how many times I try, so forgive me if this doesn't make sense.

It's been about 5 days since you killed yourself passed and I still can't confidently say that it feels real. Mr. Keating got fired, Charlie got expelled, Cameron was behind all of it, and I can’t even bring myself to hate him for it. I'm angry, obviously, I’ve never been more furious with anyone in my life, but something in me knows that you wouldn't have hated him either. Things like that have been running through my mind a lot, I find myself operating under what I think you would’ve done, or at least wanted me to do. I hope I’m getting it right. I yelled at Cameron after he ratted us out, and it wasn't like those times before, nobody expected it of me. I like to think you would’ve been proud of me for that.

It's really quiet without you here, in ways that I didn't think I’d notice. You were never all that loud, which I appreciated, but even the small things being gone make me feel like I'm going insane. It's hard getting to sleep without hearing your breathing from across the room. Is that creepy? Sorry. Sometimes I open the window just so I can hear anything but silence. I usually just end up wondering how people can go about their days when someone so important is dead. How are people laughing and enjoying themselves when it feels like my entire world came to a screeching halt? How dare they continue with their lives without even acknowledging how much has changed? That’s about when I close the window, our the room starts to get cold after a while.

I'm trying to stay that more confident version of myself that you were helping me become, I could tell you liked a more outgoing Todd. I think he was buried with you, and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to dig him back up. I hope that’s okay, I know how patient you were with me. Thank you for that by the way, you were the first person to give me the time of day when it came to that. It was really special, I wish I had the chance to tell you. There are a lot of things I wish I had the chance to tell you, you were the only person I ever wanted to say things like that to. I'm really sorry that I never did, I realize now that it probably would’ve done you some good to hear it. God only knows how little kindness your father gave you, if I had known how bad it was then I would’ve you deserved better than that. You deserved a lot more than what the world gave you, I think we all do. No amount of sorry’s can fix that.

I miss being near you.

I miss you.

I miss having you around. I’d forgive you if you came back and told us it was all a joke. I wouldn’t be mad at all, I promise.

- Todd Anderson

[wnbnny]

happiness looks good on you- lee felix

summary: you love felix, but he doesn't love you back.

warnings: sad ending, angst!

author's notes: hi everyone<3 this is my first fic, kinda wrote this at like 3am on a whim instead of sleeping but like😭 idk why i made this so sad (is this a sign im depressed or something) but hope u enjoy!! please to comment ur user if u want to be tagged in this or my future posts<3

"happiness looks good on you."

raging storms and unshed tears.

"happiness looks good on you."

heartbreak and rainy days.

"hurry up lix, we're going to be late," you complained, brow furrowed as you stuck your bottom lip out in a pout.

"if you really want to go to school that early just walk there yourself." felix taunted, knowing you were scared to walk alone. he was your long-term best friend, inseparable since kindergarten 'til today.

the two of you argued and bickered on the way to school, throwing insults at each other. by the time the both of you had gotten to school, you were both given a scolding and told to sit down. you glared at him as you were being scolded while he just snickered.

the audacity of this man, honestly . 

by the time class had finished, you had cooled down, just like felix knew you would. otherwise, he could just stick out his bottom lip while you huffed and pretended to be mad. 

"y/n!" he gasped, clutching at your arm, "areum just looked at me!"

he squealed, like a little kid at the toy shop, over his long time crush.

if only you looked at me in that way.

because i do.

"nah, she probably was just looking at someone else." you lied through your teeth, feeling your heart sink.

"hey, stop being mean!! she clearly looked at me," he pouted.

you sighed.

i've loved you for years and you've never noticed.

"well just confess to her already then."

it was painful watching your own crush and best friend fall for someone else, someone that wasn't you. 

you wished, rather selfishly, that areum would reject him. then you could be the shoulder he would cry on. not her. but honestly, you couldn't bring yourself to hate her. what was to hate? she was pretty, got good marks, and was friendly and easygoing. not to say you yourself weren't pretty, but you just weren't as pretty and hardworking as her. 

and you weren't the one he wanted. 

maybe the pain would end if they just ended up together and you were out of the picture. it was obvious she liked him too. 

"you really think i should? but what if i get rejected..."

you're so blind but i still love you.

"yes, how many times do i have to say this, she likes you. it's obvious." you rolled your eyes.

"should i just confess tomorrow? better late than never..." he trailed off, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth.

gods you look so cute when you do that.

"yeah. get her some flowers and write her a note."

why were you breaking your own heart? you didn't know why. maybe you just wanted to end your own heartbreak. 

"good luck with that, anyways i need to go to s house for a project." you actually didn't, but you would do anything to just escape from this.

"why~~are you really just going to leave me alone to plan my big confession by myself," he whined.

"sorry lix, but you'll figure it out." ruffling his hair, you walked out the classroom.

you did, in fact, go home. then sat on your bed and cried until you couldn't  physically squeeze any more tears out of you.  so this was what heartbreak felt like. you had known him since the both of you were ten. you had have multiple crushes here and there, but they were just passing, fleeting moments, nothing of importance. until him.

you didn't know when you had first started to like him. maybe it was that time in the library where he was helping the librarian stack books. maybe it was that time in the rain where he danced in it for hours. 

maybe it was one summer day where your world just exploded in colours. 

and now it felt like it was fading back to grey.

the next day, felix came bouncing up to you.

"i got her peonies, do you think she'll like it? i told her to meet me in the garden."

"yeah, she'll definitely like it. i would've too... " you muttered the last part all to yourself, turning away and blinking rapidly as tears threatened to prick your eyes. you offered him a smile of encouragement. 

"good luck."

when lunch came, you watched as the nervous australian carried the peonies and went to the garden.

then you watched as they walked in ten minutes later, smiling bashfully and holding hands like schoolchildren in love. 

because they were.

you went home, not even bothering to call in sick. you just grabbed your bag and went home. you would deal with the consequences later. 

your heart hurt.

you were numb.

you were hollow.

you were crying.

you hated everything.

the next few days were spent at home. you called in sick. felix texted you countless times but you ignored him.

lixie&lt;3

y/nie?

where r u?

she accepted!!!

im so happy>.<

read at 2:03 a.m.

yeah, right. good for you. but what about me?

lixie&lt;3

...hello?

y/n?

can u please respond...

im worried...

what happened???

why didn't you come to school today??

read at 3:46 p.m.

you turned off your phone then turned over and cried again. you hated this. why did you have to fall for him in the first place?

finally, after four days of missed calls, texts, and school, you had to go back. its not like you had a choice anyways. you missed your parents. they lived overseas though, so you lived alone. but you really couldn't continue living like this for the rest of your life, even if you wanted to.

"y/nie!!!" felix exclaimed, running up to you. "why didn't you respond to my texts? are you okay? it's unlike you..."

"im sorry lix, i was just under the weather. im ok." you offered him a tight lipped smile. "congrats by the way." you closed your locker door and rushed off before he could ask you anything more.

"huh? thats unlike her... why is she acting so weird lately?" 

and so you avoided him, as much as you could. you kept your conversations short and brief, not talking to him as much as possible, and even switching seats to sit far away from him. you watched his hurt face the day he walked in and saw you sitting somewhere else, but then cheering up as areum sat next to him. you watched as he laughed and held hands, ate tteokbokki and ramen with her in the cafeteria. that should've been me.

but honestly, it did nothing to fill the felix-sized hole in your heart.

you drifted apart. he barely texted you now, barely said hi to you, barely even saw you in the hallways anymore. 

then exams were finished, and graduation started to roll around. 

you watched as they attended prom and twirled around on the dance floor giggling.

you watched as they broke up on the doorstep of his dorms, watching as felix's face fell when she dumped him for another guy.

you didn't have the heart to tell him i told you so.

so you busied yourself in your exams, earning a scholarship to your dream university. felix tried reaching out to you several times to rekindle your old friendship, but you would always politely decline, preferring to be detached instead of going through more heartbreak.

you still loved him, but the once burning passion had now been reduced to a soft flicker every now and then, sparking ever so slightly whenever you saw him in the corridors. your own felix-shaped hole in your heart hadn't decreased over the years, but your heart became bigger, expanding so that other people could fit in it. the hole would always be there, but at least there was space for healing.

you turned around in the backseat of your friends' car to see the campus you had once called home fading away into the distance and felix along with it.

goodbye, the wind whispered.

"happiness looks good on you, lix. i hope you make the best of it."

[subskz]

Imagine Minho being a brat. You're leaving kisses on his chest, while fingering him and (even though he enjoys your sweet kisses) he keeps demanding more, keeps commanding you, keeps complaining that you're not doing a good job. "Fuck- not like that- faster, go faster". And you, being a pretty patient person, decide to indulge him. But Minho keeps up his act. "I said- shit- i said faster- nngh- are you doing a bad job on purpose?" You know he doesn't mean these words, he's just teasing and you're too focused on kissing him to respond anyway, BUT! Your silence is just making him want to keep up his attitude.

"A-are you serious? You know what, just stop. Do something useful and bring me a dildo so that i can get the job done myself."

You knew damn well what he's trying to do. He's saying those things, wanting to rile you up, so that you fuck him harder and show him that he's wrong. Well, you're going to do the exact opposite. You stop your movements and look at him. "Does it really not feel good?" you ask, looking at him with a serious expression on your face. Minho didn't expect that reaction, he expected you to get mad and talk back, so he stayed silent for a moment. Then you started getting up from the bed.

"What- where are you going??" You had to keep yourself from smiling at his panicked voice.

"Umm...to get you a dildo? Like you asked me to?" The look on his face after that was priceless. You wish you knew what's going on in his head right now.

"N-no- i was just- i didn't-" he couldn't believe his plan backfired like that and now, in order to get you to touch him again, to make him feel the way that no other person or toy ever could, he has to swallow his pride and apologize. Watching him avoiding looking at you, struggling to find the right words and the way he's rubbing his thighs together, those pretty thighs shaking, begging for your touch...

English is not my first language, so excuse me if i made any mistakes🫢

no worries at all your english is perfect! 😭 and so is this ask hehe you wrote it so wonderfully~

i absolutely love the idea of besting minho by not falling for his bratty behavior like he wants you to. instead you can break him without even having to lift a finger, treating him softly no matter how much he mouths off until he realizes that all his lil mindgames won’t work on you. it’s honestly cute that he’s too shy to ask you to fuck him harder so he has to resort to provoking you like that, but only way for him to really get what he wants is to spit it out like a good boy 🥰 it makes it a million times more humiliating for him that you don’t even have to be rough to mess up his act and get him begging for you

kissing all over his chest and pretty collarbones while he secretly basks in all your attention <3 i firmly believe lino is weak for having his chest played with so feeling your warm lips press against his pecs and brush over his nipples would heighten the pleasure of you fingering him even more. he hates how it gets harder and harder for him to focus when every pump of your fingers feels so intensely good, like a jolt of electricity passing through his entire body that he can’t get enough of

“are you doing a bad job on purpose?” god u nailed his insufferable antics 😭 he thinks he’s sooo clever trying to cover up how badly he wants more by pretending it doesn’t feel good. poor kitty doesn’t know how to handle it when you see right through his challenge and suddenly he has nothing smart to say anymore~

his thick gorgeous thighs rubbing together so obviously and his pouty face watching you so helplessly would be such a perfect sight. you know you’ve got him right where you want him when he starts squirming around in the sheets, mumbling and stuttering bc he’s so caught off guard. the way “sorry” and “please” sound on his tongue when he finally musters up the courage to murmur them would be so sweet…you can’t help but make him repeat it over n over again before taking pity on him as payback for him being such a fussy brat who can’t use his words properly <3

[xxblairexxss]

My girl

Pairing : Mason Mount x plussize!reader

Theme : Angst (idk 😭) / fluff

Requested.

I’m not sure if I did justice to your request, anon. I hope I did. I can’t make it 100% igau because I always feel the need to elaborate more so igau alone won’t make me feel satisfied. Sorry about that… oh and I used olenia as face claim because her settings made it easier for me to use, I’m sorry if she’s not what you imagine the reader to be 😭

masonmount

Liked by ynusername, benchillwell and 787,641 others

masonmount 1 year. She’s the reason I get up in the morning. She makes me feel enough and stop doubting myself. I don’t know what I’d do without her. Thank you for giving me a chance to be loved by you, darling.

username WE HAVE WAITED FOR A YEAR GIVE US PROPER PIC

username aww this is cute i wish we get to see her

sophiaaemelia i miss u guys!!

ynusername

Liked by masonmount, sophiaaemelia and 3627 others

ynusername Thank you for choosing me and loving me. I love you so much! ❤️

Comments on this post have been limited.

You met Mason through a mutual friend. When he first approached you, you made it clear that you were not interested and if he was looking for a girl to play around, he could count you out but he insisted for you to go out with him for just one date and you could be the one to decide about the next one, either you wanted him to leave you alone or you wanted to give it another chance.

Mason was really nice. You thought he would be a cocky guy, thinking he was above everyone but he was everything but that. Your first date with him was an unanticipated one, you wasn’t hoping for anything but he really knew the way to win your heart.

And that was how he became your first ever boyfriend.

You refused to talk about this matter a lot but another reason why you had a hard time to accept Mason into your life was because you didn’t believe he would fell in love with someone like you. He was surrounded by models, social media influencers, heck, even some of his fans have ‘better’ body image than you. Sure, you don’t like to talk badly about yourself but it was hard not to do so when you were raised in a society that set an inconceivable image on women.

Mason knew about this though you rarely talked about it which was why he respected your decision to not have your face posted on his social media accounts.

“Mase…..can we agree on one thing?”

“What is it, sweetheart?” Mason took a step forward and took your shaking hand in his to leave a peck on your fingers. He had realised you were being quit this whole day so he asked you to have a cooking session together because he knew you loved trying out new recipes.

“I don’t want you to post my face on your social media.”

“Okay.”

“That’s it…? You are not gonna ask why?” You immediately looked up to look at him, his answer made you stunned.

“I know the reason why, baby and I know you don’t like talking and explaining about it so I’m not gonna ask.”

“Are you mad…?”

“Mad? Silly, why would I get mad at you?” He chuckles and enveloped your figure in his arms, your head fitted perfectly around his forearm and he loved it so much. “I am not mad at you, baby. I just..I can’t…how do I put this in words. I can’t tell you to stop hating on yourself because I don’t know what you actually feel like. I’m not in your shoes. I don’t know what it felt like to grow up as a woman who was constantly being told by the society that you have to look this and that to be called pretty.”

And you heart bursted, not because he made you feel heartbroken, but because of the huge amount of love you felt for him.

“But I know very well how it felt like waking up in the morning being greeted by the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, I know how it felt like falling in love everytime I see your captivating smile when we successfully tried a new recipe, I know how it felt like when my heart swelled in pride seeing how you got excited over cookies or cakes because you loved sweets. You are my girl and it’s my job to make you feel appreciated, to cherish and admire you. I won’t push you to step over your comfort zone if you are not ready, you know that, don’t you?”

ynusername

Liked by masonmount and others

ynusername life lately 🤍

username girl are you holding mason at gunpoint

username mount is embarrassed to be ur bf

username maybe you should start following mason’s diet plan

masonmount my darling ❤️

masonmount

Liked by ynusername, kaihavertz29 and 674,598 other

masonmount cheat day with my favourite girl 🍕❤️

username lmao if i were you i would have starved her

masonmount You have no right to comment about how I treat my girlfriend.

username i bet everyday is a cheat day for her 😭

username can she even fit your hoodie lololol

username IM CRYING 😭😭😭

You did read the nasty comments but it didn’t made you cry. Probably because you were used to it, not sure if that made it any better but there were days where it made you stared at yourself in the mirror hating every single part of your body, there were days where you had no appetite no matter how famished you were but Mason would always made it better, it was as if he could read your mind.

Mason did in fact could read your mind like an open book. He knew when your smile had a hidden meaning, he knew it when you looked at him and he could see all those black clouds hovering your head but he never pointed it out. He knew you didn’t like to talk about it so he helped you through his acts.

“Hi there, princess. What are you staring at?” Mason came home to see you standing in front of the mirror, hands on your hips and you just looked so broken. He stood by your side, arms wrapped around your waist to pull you close and you leaned on his chest in response and heaved a sigh.

“Nothing, Mase..”

“Do you wanna bake something tonight? It’s Friday. We always bake something on Friday.”

“Can we skip it tonight? I don’t feel like it…”

“Remember the beignets we saw from Princess and the Frog last night? I found the recipe on Tiktok.”

“Really?!” Your face instantly lit up and turned to look at him. You had told Mason how much you craved for the beignets but non of the recipes looked legit.

“Yeah! I think we have the ingredients already. Wanna give it a try?”

“Yes! Yes, please!” You squealed and hugged him, causing him to stumble back from the sudden change of mood.

So, beignets were your recipe of the week.

It was a success, which was a surprise. So now you have a plate of beignets and ‘Princess and the Frog’ on play.

“You know, princess..” Mason spoke all of sudden which caught you by surprise. The audio from the movie is now long forgotten.

“Yeah…?”

“You know how you always told me you wondered why I chose you over anyone else? I wished you could see yourself from my point of view because when I tell you how perfect you are, how beautiful you are, I mean every single words I said. And I’m not talking about your appearance alone, you have such a good heart, Y/N. We used to meet up with Jason, our mutual friend, at the same old club, remember? One day I walked outside the club to get some fresh air and I saw you rummaging through your handbag just to give a heat pack to an old man who was walking home from a night shift. The other time I met you outside the club, you were calling out to this stray cat and I thought to myself, what the heck is she doing this time. Turned out you got a small pack of cat food, again, in your handbag so I saw you feeding the cat to which I had to stand on guard nearby because you were so busy talking to the cat that you paid no attention to your surrounding.” He poked on your nose which made you chuckled.

“It frustrated me so much that those people on the internet never bothered to know you, the real you that made me fell in love. I just— I wished I could just grab their heads and let them know what kind of person you are. It pained me to just constantly having to see all those comments on yours and my accounts because you didn’t deserve it, heck, no one deserved that but you told me to not entertain any of them because it would be like fighting with a wall. I always remember you told me to not fight with someone who speaks with their ears closed so I held myself but it’s just..”

“It’s okay, Mase. You have been the biggest help I could ever asked for. I think it was kinda hard for me to think that none of them actually have powers against me because I felt like they would always win but all this time, I have always won. I have a boyfriend who always made me see my worth every single day, a boyfriend who never missed to compliment me every day, a boyfriend who always respected me and I think I’ll manage…with you by my side.”

“Always, baby. You can always count on me.” He wiped your tears off and cupped your cheeks to brush his lips against yours. A single kiss turned into two, three, and a shower of kisses all over your face which caused both you and Mason to giggle at it together.

masonmount

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masonmount I know how hard the internet has been on her and I know no matter how strong of a person she is, one can only bear too much before it break you down. Y/N is one of the strongest person I know and to see her breaking down from the comments that were quick to judge on her based on how she looked broke my heart. I am no saint and best believe, I don’t even deserve to be with someone as quintessential as her so if there was one who deserved to be judged, it should be me, not her. Please be respectful towards my girlfriend, and everyone else as everything you comment would linger in someone’s mind for god knows how long.

Comments on this post have been limited.

ynusername

Liked by masonmount and others

ynusername Life has been pretty rough lately but I was blessed with this man to help me through day and night. 🧸🤎

masonmount My beautiful princess ❤️

username WELCOME BACK MY QUEEN

username YOU ARE BEAUTIFUUULL

username i wish i have your confidence

username girl fck off ur just ugly no amount of confidence can fix it

ynusername

Liked by masonmount and others

ynusername surrender to my vision 👑

masonmount my girl

username QUEEN

username I FCKING LOVE YOU IM NOT EVEN KIDDING

username 😍😍😍😍

[willowser]

haiii willow!! i was reading through your work (as i usually do when I’m on here) but i wanna know your thoughts on whether young, early 20s bkg - who currently has a thing for reader - would he feel this impending urge of sexual attraction?? i feel like at that point of time he wouldn’t be having much sex, if any at all but ofc reader is beautiful and sweet and gorgeous!! do u think he’d ever have moments where he’s ogling or he’s just back in his bedroom and all he can think are perverted thoughts and he’s like, “fuck.”

i will continue stalking ur page and reblogging so that’s all! love u🩷🩷🩷👼

oh i am smooching you smooching i say, bc i love this scenario it is my freaking bread and butter 😌✨️🩷

i think he definitely would !! not a total clueless virgin, but he's not really feeling it with anyone, and maybe hasn't for a while—if ever. and maybe he's just like, eh i've got more important things going on rn than who i'm having dinner with i hardly have time to have it with myself 🥺

bc i imagine early 20s bakugou very specifically, especially after what's going on in the manga, so i can completely see him being so sidetracked and not even interested in romance—and then you come along 🥺 and i think it would take him a while to get there, honestly, like. he's got you in the back of his mind for a whole year, even. doing his best not to think about it, but every now and then when things are quiet, his mind is wandering until he's thinking about how you wish him a stupid good morning ! every day and always make small talk with him about all kinds of random shit 😒🥺 he resists the idea that you give him butterflies and tries to tell himself you make him sick LOL

but then—something happens. something small, i think, that is such a non-event but it launches you to the forefront of everything, all at once. maybe you say something funny that makes him do his little evil smile or ask him a question and really listen to what he's saying with big beautiful eyes or you wave at him as you pass each other in the hall and kirishima is with him and then turns to him, grinning so fucking wide, and he's like "bro....why're they smiling at you like that ?? 😏😏😏" and that has bakugou thinking to himself.....oh shit........are they smiling at me like that ??? and then he's so totally gutted by the fact that—he wants you. oh man, he wants you so bad. and i've said this before but i think because he tries to fight that feeling for so long, once he finally accepts it, he's like full speed ahead. he opens that door and it's like the floodgates, the dam has broken, he's neck deep the minute he stepped over.

and i really think bakugou's attraction to someone—like his deep, genuine, heart-achy kind of attraction to someone—is based on who you are, and so the more time he spends with you and the more he thinks about you and the more he gets to know you, it just builds and builds and builds LOL and then that sexual attraction comes bull-dozing in, i think. and i love to talk about this but he thinks he's so not a meat-head that thinks with his dick but he definitely catches himself checking you out and is SO MAD LMAOOO

he's also such a—make a plan, make it happen kind of person, so once he decides he can't stand doing nothing, he's trying to figure out how to make you his. and in trying to plan that out, he's going through scenario after scenario, thinking about what differently he could do when he sees you and how you'll respond, imagining it late at night, dreaming about what you'd say and what you'd do.....what that would lead to, eventually AND HE FEELS LIKE SUCH A PERV LMAOOO he's such a dork

god i literally could go on and on about this forever you don't understand akdhfjskkq this is one of my favorite scenarios for him it's just my default thinking state this point LOL hiiiii friend !!! tysm for asking !!! 😌🩷✨️

[impishjesters]

Little Thoughts

warning(s): suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideations, child neglect, child abuse, suicidal thoughts of a child, abuse, financial abuse, hurt/comfort(?), mentioned manipulation, casual talk about death/dying, pre-relationship, uncertain reactions (basically Jax nor you really know how to go about the situation), implied crush (both ways) A/N: This was written for myself, read it or don't, I don't care. I just wanted validation and acceptance from somewhere, even if it's fictional...

“Do you ever just wish you were dead?”

Jax slowed his oncoming approach towards you, blinking in confusion. “What happened to, hi? Hello? How are you?” He heard you scoff and crossed his arms loosely in thought. Sure, he was used to hearing some pretty questionable things from you, but you’d never flat out ask him—or anyone else for that matter—if they wanted to be dead.

“Well?”

“Uh, can’t say I do. Sure, this place sucks but think of all the entertainment I’d miss out on if I was, ya know—” he swiped his thumb across his neck and made a noise, “—dead.”

“You’ve been here longer. Aren’t you tired?”

What was this? Morbid fifty questions?

“You doin’ alright there sugar?” Jax circled around you, allowing you to see him long before he approached you taking a seat beside you. “I know you usually say some pretty…intense shit, but this is a little too intense even for you.”

You shot him a blank stare. Huh, you did say some pretty out-of-pocket stuff when it came to the dark subject—but to ask him flat out if he ever wanted to just be dead? That was new, but it was a valid question in your mind.

How could they choose to suffer instead of just dying?

“This isn’t anything new… I’m not like you guys. I haven’t been here for years on end gradually going mad.”

“Hey, rude. I’m not nearly as bonkers as Rags or King-face.”

He got a playful eye roll from you and that was more than enough of a win for his little joke. Sure it was a serious topic but he didn’t do so well during talks like this.

“I’ve always been like this… for as long as I can remember, as a child I thought it’d just be better if I was dead. That way my family could stop fighting, and I could stop being the rag doll in their arguments.”

As you spoke the grin that was glued to his face started to fall, slipping bit by bit until his lips ran flat. What child wants to kill themselves? He remembers his childhood not being the greatest but he never thought about death, that’s for sure.

“We didn’t have a lot of money growing up, they’d spend it on unnecessary stuff and worry about food and bills later until years of it caught up and put them in a bind.” Your gaze fell to your hands, fingers picking and peeling at the flesh. “Most would say I was a very spoiled kid, I always got toys and the holidays were jam-packed with even more unnecessary toys for a growing child to outgrow.”

He had a feeling he knew where this was going…

“But I didn’t want that, I didn’t want all those toys. Expensive or cheap, I never asked for any of them. If my eyes made contact with something and lingered just a second too long they’d buy it for me.” You sighed, looking up at Jax. “All I wanted was my family to give me the time of day, to play with me. To love me.”

“Fuck, I’m..” he hesitated, saying sorry felt pointless, that was ages ago and he wasn’t there. He wasn’t at fault but he couldn’t even imagine that—his own parents argued but they kept him out of it.

“It’s fine you don’t have anything to apologize for.”

He shuffled in place awkwardly, how are you supposed to respond to that? Luckily he doesn’t need to because you are already looking away and took a deep breath before continuing.

“It never got better, toys became electronics and games. Because of my family, I didn’t get to socialize growing up and I’d be quiet and withdrawn at school. The older I got the more vocal they started to get about me, even though they didn’t want me they kept me chained down and limited my ability to fight them.”

“What they lock ya up or somethin’?”

“They didn’t need to, I had no reason to leave the house. I didn’t have friends, we didn’t have stores or anything fun to do that wasn’t an hour’s drive away.” He hates the way you laugh so casually about it. “No, they’d limit any money I’d receive making sure I’d spend it instead of save it. I used to think it was their way of trying to make sure I wouldn’t run away, but even if I didn’t have savings that wouldn’t have stopped me from leaving with nothing but the clothes on my back.”

“Why didn’t ya?”

“I was a coward.”

Jax snorted and caught your attention. “You were a child, not a coward.”

“Whatever, pointless to think about it now. Did me fat lotta good in the end anyways, here I am trapped in this hell hole where the closest thing to death is abstracting.” A dry laugh left you at the irony. “I can’t even fucking off myself properly.”

The two of you simply sat in silence for a few minutes, neither of you seemingly aware of how to continue the conversation. There was no reason to give Jax the whole sob story that didn’t matter anyway, and he couldn’t think of a response.

Sure he wasn’t the greatest at times but he didn’t want you to just…die… but he wasn’t going to try and guilt trip you into living for him. Even if that outcome sounded far better than you dying, he could live with a guilty conscience—probably…

“You don’t have to worry about responding, I sort of just… dropped that all on you. It’s fine, it’s the past.”

“Still doesn’t change that ya still feel like ya should’ve died because your family sucks.” You shot him an unimpressed look and he shrugged. “I’m just sayin’, you were just a kid stuck with a shit family and should’ve been given help a lot sooner.”

“Gee, thanks—”

“I’m not done,” he used your name, no silly or insulting nicknames, “someone should’ve done something, I know people are stupid and think if they just look away it’ll be fine. But someone should’ve stepped in, it’s still abuse, it’s neglect.”

It went unspoken about how you clearly didn’t seek any form of therapy or help as you got older, he already felt like he was pushing it saying what he did.

“Look nothing I say is gonna make ya not wanna pop yourself, but it’s different now. Yeah, ya stuck here but you aren’t alone, and the others like ya.”

“What about you?”

“Me?” he blinked, you weren’t asking him if he…

“Do you like me?”

Jax coughed into his hand, casually turning himself to face the same direction as you. He refused to budge even when you turned yourself to face him, he was not gonna lose his cool.

“Ya alright, better than King-face and Rags that’s for sure.”

His answer pleased you enough to pull back but still face towards him. Occasionally, you’d see him peeking over to see if you were still looking at him until he finally kept his gaze forward.

“Thank you Jax.”

It felt wrong to accept your thanks, he didn’t do anything. But again you responded for him, as if knowing his plight.

“Thank you for sitting here with me, and listening… nobody’s ever listened to me before and not tried to justify what they did like I was the one at fault. You don’t need to feel like you have to have done something to be thanked.”

His shoulders shrugged before relaxing, his gaze that had glued itself to nothing finally turning to you. “Look just, promise me if you get those icky thoughts again you’ll come to me instead of stewing in them okay?” He saw you hesitate and cautiously reached out for your hand. “Promise me.”

You sighed. “Fine, I promise…” Ironically, you didn’t think you could trust anyone but Jax with this sort of information. Personal feelings aside.

“Good, now shut ya face and enjoy my presence and this beautiful moonlight night.” He threw his arm around you and pulled you closer, hand lingering at your side. He was going to make sure not to take advantage of this information, he wanted things to be genuine and not manipulated—as easy as it would be for him.

If the two of you were stuck here he wanted your feelings towards him, and vice versa to be genuine before taking the next step.