#i just wanted to try it i love seeing other ppls designs for them
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drops these and then scurries away
#my art#enstars#femstars#i will probably like. actually draw some of them (switch) at some point in a more finished piece#this was mostly just me messing with hair#i just wanted to try it i love seeing other ppls designs for them#idk how to draw bigger chests bc i do not have one so . sorry if they’re bad#ngl this was kinda hard bc i don’t wanna like. Accidentally make the designs too close to other peoples yknow
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(guy who has never played cotl) haha au time
#this started as a design exercise bc i couldnt get sphinx/devon rex narinder out of my head#but the whole time i was thinking man imagine if the lamb brings him in as a follower but nobody knows he was actually. you know#and the followers are like haha wow our leader channels the power and wisdom of the one who waits almost as if they were them#would that be cool or what. anyway heres narinder reassuming his pre-bishop form and everything his flesh remembers before godhood#ok now im gonna ramble abt design notes#the singe marks were inspired by fallen angels like how some ppl say they burned while falling from heaven. i wanted smth like that when#the lamb is resurrected by nari.. their outfit is inspired by papal cloaks while narinders is based on crusader armor#the lambs name 'bellwether' is also a term used for sheep that wear a bell and lead the flock and i thought that was cool#idk what the thuribles do yet but i do have smth in mind where theyre linked together. and ofc the lamb has a shepherds staff#very proud of nari's little devil tail!! and it was hard to see bc its so dark but he has wrinkles around his forehead to conceal his#third eye. even he isnt aware of it (for now)#idk where im going with this au i just have a bunch of ideas?? basically the lamb is keeping nari's identity a secret from him so he doesnt#go down that path of powerhungry destruction. smth like trying to lead him down a better path but feels guilty lying to do that#also theyre in love with each other and theyre stupid pining idiots abt it. mwah#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#the one who waits#cotl the one who waits#narilamb#art#au#myart#my art#character design#cotl au#false prophet! au
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i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸
#i'm not coming back but :') hello#i forgot i even had tumblr still on my phone djdkdkdkdk#i just opened it for the first time in ??? 5 months or smth i think idk for sure#life is weird :')#remember when i said i wanna drop out every day of my life :') bc i suck at design#welp i won an award for my design thesis :')#jsjdjdkdkdkdj#turns out having friends kinda changes your life 🫂#having friends at school has actually :') made me a happier more normal person lol#i haven't been miserable?? i haven't wanted to kms ... i have been so happy and yes school was shitty but i wanted to go and try hard bc#my friends motivated me to stay and try and that's crazy :') idk#felt really loved and like i belonged somewhere for the first time in my life 🫨 like woah ppl like me and wanna be my friend? me??#:') i'm really happy... isn't that weird#i used to want to kms every other day hsjdndkdkdks lol 😭#now i'm like 😭 every day i look forward to waking up bc i'm happy and i have ppl who love me and i wanna see them again and i wanna spend#time with them again and play games with them again :')#literally stayed up till ??? 4 am yesterday talking to one of them like#😭#god jm djjdkdkdkd idk :')#my life is good...#???? IM NOT MISERABLE IDK GUYS#wild af#even winning the award was such a shock like 🥲 damn . who ? me?#ppl from like :') this big design thing in toronto we're praising it too like djdjdodjdkdj#:') it's kinda crazy.. i was super !#man.. i cant believe how 5 months ago i was gonna kms 🥸👆 and now i'm like erm actually maybe we do need to live#:') anyway#i hope ppl on here are doing good 🫨🔨#it is sad to not be here as much but also 👋😌 i'm happy to be free at the same time so ✨
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technically if it's not simmered in the champagne region of france it's a sparkling best boy friend
#you see actually this is an ingeniously relevant caption b/c of the concept of Authentic food tying into the film's main themes re culture#Clearly impeccable lol....anyway here's me using this blog as like a tumblr hosted imgur#also just now in the shower it occurred to me the parallels / overlaps with My Big Fat Greek Wedding. obviously also v different but#so your family & by extension their culture aren't the Normal & your father especially holds on to this distinction#& you don't just want to work at the family business forever & then you meet a nice boy & there's no problem there he's just nice#except then how to reconcile this with your relationship w/your family & your culture & thus also your identity btw....#anyways how about that uhh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#ember lumen#wade ripple#fanart#always a time & a half trying to decide how to tag these kinds of titles. but somehow i survive#it's really a testament to the so precisely captured Cuteness of wade's design that it's like; trying to just do a shadow of it justice lol#it's So good. definitely went for the like expressive wobbliness...the wavy smile is just thee perfect detail all thee time. ugh#giving both of them that Flow while also ember is pointier & has the whole luminosity element....the chefs are kissing#love the Relationship when it's like yeah it's easy to make it agonizing when it's like ya both people have fun & like each other & enjoy#being together & find the relationship enriching & motivating...you Are a cute couple / again that the conflict isn't really even like ooh#will the won't they as a question of if they really like each other; & Definitely not a question of [these ppl hate each other actually] lo#like me saying i like romcoms sometimes when it Does mostly mean i'll watch mybigfatgreekwedding 500x in a row. it's on youtube btw#then you watch some random other romcom & it's psychological torture. random xmas romcomdram like gave me a headache fr....#anyways really liked this film really had a great time i'm def gonna see it again soon#i loved both these characters & their relationship & the Elemental manifestation of Culture is really inchtaraesting#plus other metaphorical resonance ppl find...physical disability; queer experiences....#it was also fun b/c their interacting & their arcs w/each other having that mutual Effect & Change from their dynamic was like#that also just feels like both of them / their relationship = my relationship with myself &/or both how i interact w/the world/anyone#definitely always describing myself in ways like ''i never x except for when i do always; readily'' like Crying for sure lol. I'm Both....#probably a bit more wade? within Myself; by this point lol. i feel like maybe i'm the wade w/someone i'm more comfortable around#but that otherwise i probably come across more emberesque. usually. except for when it's the opposite except for when it's not lmao etc!!!!
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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Nicktoons unite main 4 in their respected styles ( minus jimmy neutron i'll explain more below)
i feel very mixed about these but it was still fun either way studying all of these cartoons respected styles. the final does make me happy, seeing all of them together ^__^ 💞
below i will explain my thought process working with each style so get ready for a wall of text:
first before anything you may be asking: why no jimmy neutron style!? it's because i tried and gave up! i was starting the rendering process for timmy and i hated it so i just didn't continue! no point of making myself miserable for something thats harmless fun style studies. but have these as a little treat:
Fairly Oddparents style: the easiest style to work on and research for, fop style is not that complex. i should also add i didn't draw each style in one sitting i drew each character together and then edited them all, so that might be the reason why some look better then others, i just got good. but i'm saying that because the character i started with was spongebob! specifically because i was tired of ppl thinking dp style and fop style are the same and how spongebob would look the same in both styles, just a flat square. which is wrong! fop style is very different! i would prob describe it as a flat paper style. has sharp and rounded thick lines. the main source of research i used for it was the designer for fop was Ernie Gilbert. he has designed a lot of iconic characters for the show and i highly would check out his work, this is his website
Danny phantom style: now this one was tricky, prob the hardest one to figure out and i honestly don't think i really DID figure it out. the possible reason is i am still trying to go through the show atm myself, but i'd doubt it. they all just look off to me, just a little. which no need for me to work myself in a circle trying to make it "perfect". im no professional character designer! especially not Stephen Silver.
Spongebob Squarepants style: this one was tricky but in the opposite way to dp style, where i didn't know what to reference! to start off the show is mainly nonhuman characters, so finding character refs were hard. the refs i did use were the mermaids and the superheros, so i used that for timmy. but in the middle of working on jimmys i was watching a video of someone ranking every single spongebob ep and TURNS OUT in the later seasons, i think season 13, there were human designs! (technically elfs but whatever).
and weirder thing is how they draw patchy but im not going to get into that. i am assuming that style is for characters that are supposed to be real life humans up on land in that universe (but why not just use real life humans? idk, maybe tom kenny is getting to old for the role). BUT ANYWAY, i used the elfs for a main source for jimmy and danny, they turned out a lot better then the timmy in my eyes. i wanted at least one of them to have the black eyes but they all have bright blue eyes and the show usually always colors blue eyes. i get ahead of myself cause there was a lot more factors i still had to figure out. like the line art. the show doesn't have a clear line style like dp or fop, its just relatively consistent medium lines. so i just went with more recent show stuff then older stuff since it's HD.
ok but thats basically it, i can prob go on more but i'd feel no one gaf. i made these for fun and it was fun making them! i love all of these shows a ton so it was nice looking up the designers and artist for these shows. support the artists!!! fuck bitch fartman!!!!!
#nicktoons unite#nicktoons#nickalodeon#spongebob#spongebob squarepants#danny phantom#danny fenton#jimmy neutron#jimmy neutron boy genius#timmy turner#fairly oddparents
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hello my favorite star rail writer i am back bc i saw you reached 1k followers (CONGRATS BTW I DIDNT SEE EARLIER BC I STARTED CLASSES) and im a sucker for mutual pining its sickening to see two ppl so in love and blade, so blade + fluff prompt 10 would be amazing :D
extra points if mc isnt a fellow stellaron hunter, like in my head reader is sighing dreamily while march 7th is all "thats a wanted criminal"
❀ ˎˊ- prompts: You two have been pining over each other for God knows how long, and your friends are sick of it. ❀ ˎˊ- 1k followers event ❀ ˎˊ- character: blade ❀ ˎˊ- warnings: none! just fluff :D ❀ ˎˊ- a/n: IM SORRY THE LAST PART MADE ME LAUGH SO BAD GOODBYE I LOVE THAT !!! also..... IT GOT KINDA CRACK IM SORRY GOODBYE IT'S LESS PINING MORE DAN HENG BEING DISAPPOINTED IN YOU
It wasn't often that Blade strayed outside the mission.
Just as the sword he wielded, Blade cut through his missions with precise cuts, following Elio's script like law. While Kafka and Silver Wolf would take liberties with their scripts, going off to shop or to fight, Blade stayed at his designated spot, staring blankly at the clock until he was called upon once more. He never did more, never did less.
So to see him gazing off into the distance, a hint of a smile on his face, was definitely out of the ordinary.
"What's on your mind, Bladie?" Kafka asked, her pupil-less eyes peering at her partner from behind her drink. "It's rare to see you so... restless. Has the mara been bothering you?"
Blade shook his head, a disgruntled sigh escaping him. His gaze reached past Kafka, focusing on the silhouette of your person as you chatted away with Dan Heng.
Kafka hummed, tilting her head as she played with her straw, mindlessly stirring her beverage. "Hm... Then is it them?"
Blade's fingers stilled. Kafka smiled, knowing she had hit the spot.
"So it is," she mused, stifling a giggle as Blade shot her an annoyed look.
"They're talking to him," Blade muttered, laying his hand flat against the table. Surprisingly, the mara did not strike, nor did Blade become irritated. His voice was gentle, soft like the breeze.
"Indeed they are," Kafka took a sip, licking her lips at the burn of alcohol. "Do you wish that was you, Bladie?"
Her teasing wasn't lost on the man, but he didn't bother with a reply.
"No," Blade murmured, resting his head in the palm of his hand. The artificial sunlight of the Xianzhou bathed you in a heavenly glow, your carefree laughter a sweet symphony. "I wouldn't dare disturb such beauty."
And yet, it seemed as though fate had glanced his way, just as you had. Your eyes met with his, and you smiled, waving at him. Blade's heart thudded in his chest, and for a moment, life returned to him.
His hand twitched, wanting to return your greetings, but the rough drag of his bandages stopped him. Blade averted his gaze, hiding his slowly flushing skin behind his palm.
Kafka snickered at his predicament, quickly snapping a photo of his flustered state and sending it to the other Stellaron Hunters. Instantaneously, Silver Wolf sent back a vomiting emoji, while Sam excitedly congratulated Blade on his newfound emotions. Elio didn't reply, he never does.
"Aren't you adorable," she cooed, turning her phone off and tucking it away. "You know, I doubt they'll mind if you just walked up to them."
Yes, you certainly wouldn't mind. However, your very disturbed friends would.
"What are you doing?" Dan Heng hissed as you waved to the Hunter, grabbing your wrist and snatching it down. "You know how dangerous that man is."
"But isn't he so cute?" you chuckled, the tips of your ears flushed. "Besides, he hasn't done anything to hurt me yet."
"Yet being the operative word," Dan Heng sighed in exasperation. "I hope you didn't forget how he threw a sword through me."
"I try not to think about it." You stretched back your arms. "Don't get your tail in a twist, Dan Heng. I'm just being friendly."
"That's not what your face says," Dan Heng commented, poking your cheek. "I can still see you mooning over him."
"I am not- mooning over him!" you objected, swatting his finger away. "I was just... thinking."
"Of course you are. Thinking of the man who stabbed me, that is."
"And he looked good doing it- Dan Heng!" you yelped as Dan Heng elbowed you. Your friend only crossed his arms, raising a brow at you as you glared at him. "Alright, alright, fine. I just- I know I shouldn't like him, but..."
"There's a but in this?"
"His arms are really toned, okay? Have you seen his muscles?"
Dan Heng gagged, pretending to throw up over the railing. "Far closer than I'd like to admit- Point being, he's a wanted criminal."
You stared blankly at him. "So?"
Dan Heng stared back. "What do you mean, 'so'?"
"I can fix him."
The only words you could use to describe Dan Heng's face was pure disappointment. Swiftly, he turned on his heel, and promptly walked away from you, quickening his steps as you chased after him.
"Hey! Where're you going so quickly-"
Dan Heng stopped for only a moment, his expression unreadable as he glanced back at you. "I don't talk to people who kiss wanted criminals."
You held up a finger. "To be fair, I haven't kissed him yet-"
"I'm leaving."
reblogs w comments are appreciated !!
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#hsr#hsr x reader#honkai blade#hsr blade#blade x reader#honkai blade x reader#hsr blade x reader#x reader#reader insert#y/n#archives 🏵️#event 🏵️
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(From Twitter) I think ppl still have a right to be more comfortable with Musical BJ and or Toon BJ than with Movie BJ. No one is trying to say that either Beetlejuice is a good person. We know they’re all bad. Some ppl are just more comfortable with one than the other and that’s just their preference.
And while you said the green card thing didn’t originate in the musical it still rubs me the wrong way that movie BJ stalked and obsessed over Lydia all the way into her adulthood as she grew up when he maybe could have just found another ADULT woman to get the green card.
Most of us find more comfor in musical BJ and or Toon BJ because they both seem more relatable and we are able to see ourselves within them. Especially musical BJ. A lot of ppl relate to and find comfort musical BJ because he struggles with similar issues we do.
Those being mommy/daddy issues, depression, anxiety, being neurodivergent,
(it’s not necessarily canon explicitly within the musical but let’s be honest there is no neurotypical explanation for musical BJ’s mannerisms/behaviors/pos)
abandonment issues/extreme fear of abandonment and being alone, and just wanting to be/feel loved and desired by someone after feeling invisible, othered, ostracized, unloved, and unseen by everyone around you, including by the ppl who are supposed to love and care about you and accept you and your flaws. And I think the same could maybe even be said for toon BJ too tho I’m still in the process of watching the cartoon and i didn’t get to certain episodes yet tho I have seen clips.(not to mention him and Lydia being BFFs)
Most ppl agree that musical BJ SA’ing Adam and Barbara plus wanting to marry Lydia, and killing ppl cuz of things not going his way was not a good thing.
Ppl just feel more comfortable with the fact that musical BJ at least wasn’t attracted to Lydia in that way and viewed her as just a friend/pal. Again HE STILL SHOULDNT HAVE DONE IT EITHER WAY but I just hope you understand what I’m trying to say .
While it most likely wasn’t your intent, your most recent thread about you talking about ppl thinking that musical BJ was better than movie BJ kinda came off as you talking down to the ppl who find more comfort in/are more comfortable with musical BJ than they do with movie BJ.
Majority of us aren’t necessarily trying to say that musical BJ is a good person. We just think he’s misunderstood in some areas. Both things can be true. I rlly hope i wasn’t coming off as rude in this message. I just think you could maybe try and see it from another perspective, you know?
i responded on twitter but i'll do it here as well just to make sure (the posts this person is referring to are here and here)
i want to apologize for coming off like i was talking people down. it was not my intent but i can definitely see why it comes off that way.
frankly? i totally get you! cuz i'm the same. i find musical and cartoon bj very comforting and relatable, more so cartoon bj. i know it might not seem like it because i'm always giving him shit lol but beetlejuice (in general) is my absolute favorite character of anything ever.
if you see my replies to ppl when talking about musical bj you'll find that despite what i said in the thread, i completely understand WHY people are more comfortable with him. he's designed to be that way, you ARE supposed to sympathize with him, there's nothing wrong with that!
movie bj is absolutely supposed to rub you the wrong way, even when he's not doing anything. he's an unsettling presence. *this* bj is designed to make you feel creeped out, not sympathize with him like musical bj. this is undeniable
i guess i made that thread as a way to compare the two, how despite everything musical bj did fans are completely endeared to him and why that is. never meant to talk anyone down. hell, i would be talking MYSELF down if that were the case 😭
another thing i should add; i've been getting a lot...a LOOOT of comments recently on my beetlejuice comics so i've been getting a clear view of how people tend to look at one bj or the other, and i often comment on that because fandom sociology is interesting i guess? i'm a nerd
LASTLY (sorry this got long)
a lot of my tweets are my unfiltered stream of consciousness and me talking to myself 💀 and sometimes i don't realize how it might come off to other people. i just yap a lot when i'm doing character studies and i'm subjecting you guys (my twitter followers not here on tumblr) to it SORRY
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May I just say I really really appreciate your approach to and respect for the transfemininity embedded in Homestuck. Like the fact that you depict Jake as a kind of "genderfuck" (for lack of a better word) character without trying to divorce that from transfemininity as so many others do, as well as being able to depict Roxy with certain clocky characteristics without disregarding her femininity or making it feel fetish-y, is all really admirable in my eyes. It gets extremely frustrating seeing large swathes of the fandom constantly trying to separate the story of Homestuck from transfemininity despite it having a transfem enby author, so I really appreciate that you don't shy away from it in your art :)
I am so glad!!!!! Its something ive Always noticed in like every fandom since i first got onto the internet the disparity between the amount of transfems i knew vs how often their story got to be uplifted in fandom spaces or get to be celebrated how transmascs did considering how queer dominated they are but then i grew up and realised how badly male centric queer spaces are too😭
Homestuck is one of the spaces that has a big amount of transfems openly engaging in fandom activities and that makes me really happy to see! since i often see gross rhetoric from transmascs or cis women about fandom spaces abt “who is allowed” and “fandom being a safe space” cough blatant transmisogyny (sobs everywhere its so bad)
I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PPL BRUSH PAST HUSSIE BEING TRANS SO OFTEN ISNT THAT INSANE. To me it reframes homestuck how the creators of the matrix being trans does. Like I dunno maybe that informed the works presentation of gender somehow. Maybe all the commentary and critique and displays of frustration at the contradictory nature of gender but especially trying to fit “being a man” in society came from somewhere when they were writing it 🤔🤔🤔 hussie said it herself that alot of homestuck was just stream of consciousness. Everything that comes out of daves mouth near the end seemed very plausible to be a reflection of hussies own journey realising that Actually these boundaries of what defines A Good Man and A Good Woman are ridiculous and no person can possibly live up to that no matter what were told from birth.
But i try my best to reflect the innate transfemininity of homestuck and the majority of its cast, its something integral to the works themes and just the community who built it! It saddens me how skittish other transmascs are about engaging with or portraying the transfeminine stories when its just. Practically textual. And all you need to do is Listen and empathise. I love learning how other feminine people see themselves in this story like how often do you get such a menagerie of in depth fem characters. And i love seeing what the experiences transfems see echoed in homestuck are because its all such insightful stuff About femininity and its beauty and its ills all at once. Roxy..kanaya.. wipes tear from my eye.
I want to actively include and celebrate transfem features and bodies as much as transmasc ones get to be around here and i am glad my jake and roxy do feel that way 🥹🥹 my aim with my designs is to make them feel like some everyday people youd see, no fetishisation/sexualisation or demonisation, just Existing and appreciating. Because i know how much it can mean to see yourself in something and for that to be treated with care and kindness. Its why i create in the first place! Because of how others creations gave me that comfort when i couldnt find it elsewhere
I feel similarly about how people portray fat women or just like. Women in general. its sad how badly the whole sexualisation = acceptance warps how people portray things fatness or transfem features. Never ever saying these things arent hot or sexy or to be appreciated. Duh. I think how i portray jake says enough abt what i think of that LOL just that It feels like its the only way people try and show theyre accepting? Which just feels so gross and dehumanising the only way they think to display they feel empathy is through saying “Yeah i can get off to people like you”😭
Rlly bad in society in general so also in the homestuck space. Worlds hardest challenge is liking the alpha kids. Im so sorry for what they do to you jane and roxy🥲🥲🥲 Its baffling because Homestuck is Prime Example Numero Uno of how to humanise characters. Just display them being people; their thoughts, their feelings, their insecurities, their passions, their woes, their loves, their losses. So much can be communicated through how a character speaks with their friends.
I wana do that for jake and roxy! They get to be dimensional too! I like showing their laughs and their sorrows, just them Existing with the people around them. They get to be a part of the lighthearted comedy just as the rest of them do. They get to be a part of all the gender and sexuality insanity going on in their friend group, can point out their flaws and mistakes and insecurities. I dunno its rlly not that hard to just empathise with them and want to tell their stories.
I am so invested in the raw unabashed Humanity of homestuck. Its just one person pouring their brain contents into this huge thing and it displays the best and the worst and the absurdity and the questions. Its so interesting and hussies transness IS JUST BAKED INTO IT. Thus the characters contain that too and it kinda stinks of transmisogyny to throw that out!
YAPPING TOO MUCH OMG but i rlly appreciate this ask🫶🫶🫶makes me so happy to hear
#I understand hussie in their notes so badly. you cna go on endless tangents about literally anyrhing with homestuck#i could probably make a podcast thatd go forever because i can never run out of shit to say about this thing#homestuck#daniel talks#jake english#roxy lalonde
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have any headcannons to share abt kallamar and his spouses? honestly i dont see a whole lot of people ship kallamar with all four of them at once, i love your interpretations of their designs!!!!
AAAAAA tysm!! Sorry this took a bitsy to respond cuz I was still figuring them out, BUT! I do have some things to say about them now, so check the list under the cut! <3
FIRSTLY I wanna talk about how Kallamar chooses his Disciples:
Being the most narcissistic one among his siblings, Id think that Kallamar wouldnt just pick about anyone to transmit all his knowledge to. Meaning that he'd rather have someone who would without a doubt die for him and be as transparent as they could with their lord, without him having to read their mind or expect betrayals
Out of all the siblings, Kallamar was the pickiest and last one to recruit his apprentices. He was convinced for a while to go without anyone, until he fell in love with his first disciple and made them what they are today From then on, he realized the quickest way to trust someone was if they were completely infatuated with him. So that is the "merit" he goes by and the same one that gained him 3 more Disciples after the first
All of that is to say: yes, if you are one of Kallamar's Disciples, you are also dating him
NOW onto his lovely (and deadly) spouses:
Astaroth (they/them):
The first Disciple
Quiet most of the time
Speaks more through actions
Loves reading
Scary when angry or serious
The most skilled warrior out of all the others being a Witness
Completely obsessed with Kallamar, to the point where they'd kill the other Disciples should they ever turn on him (not that it'd be smtng that wouldn't traumatize them, given they are also in love with the others-)
Main love language is quality time, even if they may not say much
Saleos (he/him):
Quite cranky, doesn't really like people
Isolates himself most of the time
Loves recreational arts and crafts, tho he doesn't let many ppl see it
Used to be in charge of making Kallamar's weapons
Always arguing with Harboryn, but they usually make it up moments after
Awkward with physical intimacy, the others are very patient with him
Loves being praised, especially by Kallamar
Main love language is gift-giving
Harboryn (he/him):
Very fucking smart
Used to be the one to plan routes and conquering schemes for Kallamar (it was also thanks to him that they found Lambert's village back in the day)
Loves physical affection, is very touchy with Baalzebub and Astaroth
Loves being praised, he knows he's good
His narcissistic personality serves for both him and Kallamar to tease each other from time to time
Enjoys Knucklebones or other table games
Argues with Saleos from time to time, but always feels bad afterwards, desperately wanting to make it up with him
His main love language is physical touch or gift-giving
Baalzebub (she/they):
The cute one
Very affectionate, mostly with Harboryn since he's a fan of it
Also pretty quiet, speaks mostly through actions
The second best warrior and the most skilled magic user
Loves weapons, used to be Saleos' main test subject to try his new inventions
Collects seashells
Cuddles up with Kallamar and/or Saleos to sleep
Avoids venting to others, fearing to burden them, so she takes it out by destroying things. That's usually when her partners know she needs to talk
Their main love language is physical touch
And that's all I have for now! Tysm for the ask <333
#ask#cotl headcanons#cotl#cotl kallamar#maybe some of these will change in the future Im not sure#BUT THATS IT FOR NOW YES#anyways love me a poly relationship where everyone loves each other#LOVE!!!! LOVE EVERYWHERE!!
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edwina / edith in her lingerie as inspired by @hannaloony and @arisprite ‘s fanart !!! this one’s on the simpler side but I’m planning to do a companion piece with charlotte (and might do more with the backgrounds to really sell the whole “getting ready in their respective eras” thing, not sure yet) and hopefully doing something a little more suggestive with the both of them, again inspired by @hannaloony ‘s piece but using my own interpretations of fem!payneland w/ butch!edwina and fem!charlotte bc i love them
(side note: I know everyone is using Edith and not Edwina but I think Edwina suits my interpretation better for some reason ?? something about ppl hearing “Edwina and Charlie” and getting jumpscared when Edwina is the butch is funny to me,,, still undecided if she uses any nicknames but I’m open to suggestions lol)
previous artwork I’ve done of these characters can be found here: part one (original duo piece) ; part two (alt outfit for Edwina, Edwina sketches) ; this is part three! ; part four (lingerie!Charlotte ;)
notes on the costuming choices for anyone interested:
- i specifically designed these undergarments to work under either of the outfits I’ve given her so far!!
- I decided on combinations as her base layer as they were seen as younger/more casual/athletic, all of which im aiming for with this design. technically these are probably too plain for the era, especially if she was attending a girl's college/finishing school where sewing and adorning and the like would have been taught, but I wanted to keep the masculine energy so I figured some ruffly hems and blue ribbon was a good enough middle ground
- the color palette is inspired by several reproductions I’ve seen online as well as keeping with Edwin’s blue color motif/existing palette
- researching the corset took AGES so here’s a rundown: I wanted it to keep with the casual/sportswear look so I went with a sports corset, meaning it wouldn’t have any hard boning (it was just the hella reinforced material without the actual bones/metal), would have elastic at the sides, and would most likely be an overbust corset despite that not being the trend during the Edwardian era (for the most part/to my knowledge). the examples I was inspired by of sports corsets technically didn’t have visible garters, but literally every other corset I saw did and I can't imagine why sports corsets would have to have the more impractical thigh garters ??? surely you also want to keep your stockings up when running around ??? so I gave them to her anyway
- im keeping the socks/stockings the same as my other illustrations but honestly i struggled to find similar historical examples :/ surely someone at some point wore some heavy duty knit stockings, but maybe my idea of knit is just different from how knit garments, especially socks, were in the era ? regardless im keeping them like this, especially since Charlotte has pantyhose on and I feel like silk/cotton stockings would look too similar
- i went back and forth on a corset cover, but ultimately went without one bc 1. it gave me a more interesting way to pose her lol and 2. i couldn't tell if corset covers (and similar garments that went over top what we have here) would have been worn with athletic attire ? like I have her in bloomers in both of her outfits thus far so I figured no petticoat or slip, but early brassieres/corset covers/bust improvers/etc are just a big ??? from me
- a note on her hair: so if you look at all three of my illustrations of her you’ll see that her hair is totally consistent and while I can try to say that’s intentional it’s really just bc I keep going back and forth on little details about it. for example, in the first illustration her ears are completely exposed vs in the second they’re mostly covered—the exposed ears read as more butch to me but also would’ve been pretty inappropriate and I wasn’t sure if that’s an area would Edwina would rock the boat too much, hence me going back on it in the second illustration. also, I’ve gone back and forth several times before on it her hair is actually cut short or if it’s worn in a faux/“nervous” bob (which I just learned that name for lmao). on one hand, having it actually cut short is 100% more butch and leans into the practical/athletic vibes. on the other hand, it would be a drastic move for a repressed, bullied, 16 year old at an all-girls school to pull, plus it would put her ahead of the trend by several years. in the end, I think of it this way: the Edwin that we meet reads as effeminate to a modern audience, but 80% of that is through mannerisms, not direct costuming, and even what we do get from costuming is skewed bc we are a modern audience perceiving an Edwardian subject. so I figured sticking Edwina with traits she could wear as either masc or fem but chooses to wear bin a more masculine style would shorthand that sort of how-you-wear-it approach to gnc (plus I’ve been there done that when closeted so it felt extra fitting)
- that whole rant aside: I went with the faux bob but, in the name of her being in the process of getting ready, wanted to show it in a half-done state that we would never see Edwina in otherwise ! the idea with the undone side is that she’s taken out the rags she wore her curls in overnight (I don’t see her using heat but if she did it would be before this) but only tucked half up before putting her corset on. is that the actual order of how you would/should do this? fuck if I know. I also am not 100% certain if the curl pattern/hair density is accurate between one side of her head and the other, but without an exact reference this is the best you’re getting
- speaking of things being out of order, I do know that if you’re deciding to don a corset anytime soon, it’s best to put your shoes on beforehand! especially if they’re lace-up boots like our girl here wears, as bending over in a corset to tie them is not fun. thankfully, she’s in a sports corset so it wouldn’t be too bad, plus she has to step into her bloomers so I figured keep her in her socks was the right choice
- there’s a halfhearted attempt at a background here with some dark wood panelling and red/orange/brown tones thats honestly just me wanting some contrast/interest while also keeping it simple. we'll see if i do anything more complicated than that anytime soon lmao, these pieces take long enough as is !!
hopefully tumblr doesn’t fuck up the cut (again) so not everyone has to read all of this, but tysm to those of you who do!! I put a lot of thought and research into these pieces and love sharing what info I find so feel free to talk to me about any and all of it !!!! and hope you enjoyed ofc
#fem!payneland#fem!edwin Payne#butch!edwin payne#dead boy detectives#dbda#dbda fanart#dead boy detective agency#dead boy detective netflix#dead boy detective fanart#my art#lesbian#butch lesbian#edwin paine#edwin payne#edwin x charles#edwin dead boy detectives#edith payne#edwina payne
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i said i was gonna post about it and i am. i don't think william afton hates his kids. i don't think william afton is a mad scientist that kidnapped and put children in hallucinogenic gas chambers. whatever the fuck dittophobia said about afton doing all that, plus not stopping/furthering the bullying between michael and cc, is just dumb & wrong. william wanting his kids to fight, even die, is comically evil in the "bad writing" way. him being characterized as someone who experiments on children (including his own with no regard for their lives) in order to achieve immortality or whatever his supposed motivation is, is just really... nothing? as a character there is nothing to make him feel real. in an attempt to flesh out this character, they made him into a cartoon villain with "evil" being his only defining trait. whatever, i could talk for so long about how dumb i think all the dittophobia stuff is but i think most ppl on tumblr are on the same page regarding that.
to me, william afton is best characterized as someone who, at the Very Least, Doesn't Want His Own Children To Die. he can be a shitty father all around, or he can be a genuine loving father who is also a serial killer, as long as he Cares if they Die? most of what makes william afton an interesting villain, and where a lot of people interpret his motivation comes from, is how despite all his best efforts, he cannot prevent the death or downfall of his own family. he is in a tragedy of his own making, a self-imposed hell crafted by his hubris and violence. if you take this away, why should i care what happens to him? william afton was scariest when he was just purple guy and we knew nothing. william afton is most interesting when we have all these relationships and dynamics where we can seriously study and speculate the circumstances behind/around his actions, when he has something to lose (and will lose). william afton is most stale when more things are added to his story without purpose, filling in gaps that were better unfilled or we didn't even know were there – anything after UCN, basically. bro isn't scary anymore because he's either peepaw afton who's brought back despite his story being over, or he's cartoon network's newest over-the-top villian that you can't take seriously.
okay anyway. ANYWAY. william doesn't hate his kids. even if he's a shitty father, i think he still loves his kids. why else would he try and scare his kids away from the robots if he didn't want them to die? why would he design circus baby after his daughter if he didn't care for her, adore her, even? if you believe the theory that he talked to cc through the fredbear plush (idr if that's actually canon), why would he be trying to protect/comfort him?
i don't think he's a perfect, or even a good father, by any means. if you interpret him to be on the better side, that's great and fine. i'd love to hear how other people interpret/characterize afton if you wanna share! continuing on for this post, i'm going to lay out how i personally see william afton.
to me, he is someone who is very concerned and preoccupied with his image and how others view him & his family. even if he's super shitty and awful towards his kids, he at least cares that they all look good as a family unit, that they're well behaved, that he can send family portrait holiday cards to all his business partners and investors.
he strikes me very much as the typical authoritarian parent of the 80s. harsher on his sons because "men don't cry," wants his kids to say "yes, sir," and "no, sir," believes in "tough love," often says "my house, my rules," he has the final say in everything, maybe thinks hitting them from time to time is a normal, necessary punishment. not all entirely malicious, but thinks he's doing what's best, what's right, acting like a parent and father Should act, perhaps how he himself was raised. unfortunately, a very common parental mindset (even outside of serial killers). maybe he was a little scarier sometimes though, a little more unhinged or violently angry. who's to say.
but he's still just a guy who could exist in real life. he still eats dinner with his family every night, hangs his kids' drawings on the fridge, had to turn the car around because they wouldn't stop fighting in the backseat, attended awkward parent-teacher conferences, everything. he was once a new father who happily came home with his first newborn, lost countless nights of sleep over the course of two more, loves them because they're his.
meticulously and senselessly killed children, then came home and tucked his own into bed and kissed them goodnight.
he can be abusive and still love his kids. he can be a murderer and still care for his own kids' lives. maybe the loss of his own kids is what triggered his actions, or maybe it was something else. i'm fine with not knowing because we don't need to know everything, and it's more interesting when we don't.
Something Is Seriously Wrong With This Guy And We Don't Know What or Why. when acquaintances find out he's a suspected murderer, it should be shocking and upsetting. he's such a great man and father, he wouldn't murder those kids! when michael discovers his father's crimes, he should be in denial. sure, he could be scary sometimes, but he wouldn't kill anyone... right? there's a great cognitive dissonance between who he appears to be and who he actually is.
whether william descended into grief-induced madness and obsession, or was just always some kind of freak, or both, i don't think he saw his own family as disposable. even if he didn't truly love them, he at least needed to keep up his own facade as a friendly family man. personally i like to see him as someone who was a shitty father but still loved his kids, because people like that exist, and it makes him a much more interesting, realistic, and nuanced character than if he just didn't care about them At All.
#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#william afton#purple guy#dontlistento me#sorry if this is so incoherent or all over the place or rambly. im insane.#fuck it im posting
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kaveh if he breaks smth by accident is just this chibi like, all of it:
(just with some additional tears in his eyes if it rlly was smth bad AKJBKJ baby)
also agree. kaveh is an architect, an artist, someone who creates so seeing himself being like an evil (or corrupted as the anon said) version to take smth away, erasing existence...........ngl its interesting concept but he would be devastated fr 😭 using kaveh of all ppl for this aughh
unless u wanna think of it more comical and less angsty, and have him go like nah this thing ugly im just gonna unmake you *deletes offending monument* akhsjcbkj but he wouldnt simply go through this in someone elses world, especially if it manipulates/influences their game in a bad way
but!! imagine if kaveh had this skill fr (not only bursting dendro cores but simply making objects vanish after changing their traits), he would simply delete all the ugly furniture in haithams house that truly insults his eyes AKJSBCKJ can you imagine it go like:
"well, al haitham, i got rid of your entire bedroom because it was just too ugly. thank me later." ....suddenly, later in the evening, kaveh finds himself squished in his own bed between haitham and the wall - his own bed that is way too narrow for two grown men, especially one of haithams size and mass. all because haitham is like "considering this is my house, your bedroom is also mine so i will simply take it until you put every single piece of furniture back to where it belonged."
(this turned into a full, usual youn ramble lol rest is UTC)
kaveh is too proud and refuses to simply give up on his bed to sleep on the divan so he stubbornly stays, which comes back at him to bite his ass when hes in bed and gets a faceful of haithams bare chest and when he turns to face the wall hes too aware of the scribes warm body against his back - its like his dreams came true a nightmare
still too proud to admit defeat and let haitham have his bed, kaveh continues sharing his bed even though he barely gets any sleep with haitham right there. he also starts actually crafting haithams furniture by himself, at first all annoyed with him and simply wanting to finish this as fast as he can no matter how ugly, so he can have his own room for himself again before smth stupid happens (like kaveh giving in and kissing him or confessing)
but as soon as he learns from first hand that haitham is quite the cuddler in his sleep (the first time a sleeping haithams arms wrapped around his waist to pull him into him got him so flustered he didnt sleep at all that night), them getting closer everytime theyre sleeping (the amount of times theyre spooning or lying on top of each other all cuddled up is increasing)............haitham growing more soft now that they spend their nights together, having more of kaveh................his work turns from simply trying to replace what he made disappear to more thoughtful, loving pieces
a bed that resembles haithams older one, but big enough for two people to comfortably sleep in there (not that he designed it with himself in mind, its just....well.....a big bed is always nice and haitham takes up quite a lot of place right? totally not designed for both of them) with curtains in this soothing teal shade he knows haitham is fond of and nice patterns to block out the sun falling through the stained windows if he wants to sleep in; a closet with pretty, geometrical carvings matching his bed that haitham probably doesnt even care about; a nightstand with even a holder for his headset to place on, etc etc
its haithams bedroom but with small changes and improvements regarding design and comfort that kaveh did just for haitham. and he notices. of course he does
however, they got so used and comfortable to this whole (awkward at first) sleeping situation (bc it wasnt just kaveh loving to fall asleep in a sleeping, cuddly haithams arms, it was also haitham loving to wake up to the sight of a sleeping kaveh too) that every now and then kaveh slips into haithams (way too comfortable) bed ("well, i designed it so technically its also my bed") and even though its way bigger than kavehs bed, they somehow still seek each other out and find their way to cuddle up to each other
it doesnt take long until its not just their bodies seeking each other out but also their lips
not longer until the first utters a confession against the others skin, asking him to stay as their fingers intertwine and more kisses are exchanged
and not even longer for them to turn haithams bedroom, all designed and crafted by kaveh with love and care, into their bedroom
tl;dr: not only are they roommates, theres also only one bed (no clickbait)
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cityspeaker Ultra Magnus/Minimus.... yesssssss!!!!!! that'd be so so good in a post-IDW au... my heartttttt
or!! OR... ppppost? war? au?? maybe even no war au. anyway an AU where Megatron and Minimus have never met before. Megatron has had several cityspeakers in the past before but none interact with him like Minimus does. None have bothered to speak with him more than necessary, if at all. wardens very rarely need to speak to their prisoners.
Minimus comes along and just... quietly greets him the first day. for such a simple act, it sure draws Megatron's attention.
i think this would be particularly fun in a version of the AU where Megatron IS inhabited (be it in root mode or city mode. TF please give us more cityformer continuing to have ppl living on them in root mode. please please pleasr) because what better way to pay your dues than being of Literal Service to the people? Ultra Magnus gets hired on as cityspeaker/enforcer (what better way to enforce the law than having optics and audials everywhere as part of the living city...) because they are hoping that with him being a stickler for the rules, it will help keep Megatron in line. except instead of doing his job as intended, Minimus ends up befriending Megatron and making the city better for those living there.
wait silly thought for a second- Minimus walking around and taking notes of all the unsafe places around the city/Megatron. there needs to be a guard rail here. this lighting isnt up to code. those overhead pipes are a safety hazard. these stairs are too steep, regulations state that each step must be so tall, and so on. Megatron fixes them by the next day.
anyway cue dramatic chase scene where Megs gets to shift around Minimus as he's getting chased down by the other enforcers. if you want to be particularly poetic about it, he might even use the safety regulations against the oncoming pursuers (whoops there went that guard rail. totally forgot about it. those stairs? Minimus or Ultra Magnus sized now. he can get up them easily.)
hhrhghgrh them. they. augh. i need to write another ask. <- (trying desperately* to convince myself that no i don't need to write a fic or draw something based on the titan au!!! i don't!!!!!!)
*trying desperately and failing. adds it to my list. someone write smth for this so i dont have to hhrhhghgdh my list of projects is too long
- initiate
IM GOING CRAZY IM GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYY (positively)
It’s official. Titan au is my newest brainrot 👍 I encourage any and all asks pls I’m going insane the voices the brainworms the auahgauahaha
All of these ideas are genuinely so good I love them so much holy shit. Oh my god the part about different structures not being up to code in particular… what came to mind for me is Megatron having been carrying out his penance for so long and being so wrought with the guilt he failed to take care of himself as well, his internals a dilapidated city. Meanwhile Minimus is just very matter-of-factly going around assigning OSHA violations to everything he sees and…
…Megatron finds he doesn’t feel apathetic towards it.
Perhaps Minimus was right… it would be nice if his citizens had guard rails. Oh, those stairs were in poor shape, and it would only take him a second to clean them up…
Just. Minimus helping Megatron both literally and metaphorically pick up the pieces of himself after showing he cares for him
Also oh my god the shifting the environment around to help Minimus escape? Insane. I’m in love with it. Even better if Megatron never really let Minimus close to any of his more sensitive spaces before, only to lead him right to his spark chamber and seal off any exit to ensure Minimus’ safety. Right there, in the place Megatron never allowed anyone near, he knew Minimus would be safe.
Also PLEASEEEE PLEASSEEE send more asks or make art or write fic!!!!!!!!!!! It would genuinely make me so happy 😭😭😭 ough speaking of art I’m already imagining titan!Megs’ design… imagine him having big cuffs on his wrists and ankles or anywhere else they might fit really to symbolize his imprisonment in his punishment. And his imprisonment in his own guilt. Perhaps chains as well idk
I am just brainrotting severely so PLEASE keep talking about this to me 🙏🙏🙏
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i wanted to write a BIG essay on disability in House MD but the thing is that as it goes on the show plays and delves with the themes a bit differently - like in s1 they begin to introduce some addict stuff but not too much, and much less of the big grapples with house's own medical agency etc by his friends and coworkers
so i think i'm gonna do an essay series, set up some main themes around disability and autonomy in house
the first things will obviously be about the nature of house's own disability, firstly talking about his physical disability - yes, the lack of mobility from his leg and his reliance on his cane, and also the chronic pain that that comes with, but also specifically noting that house became disabled later in life and was previously extremely physically active
while the themes of house being an addict are extremely overstated because of the us' manufactured opioid crisis and its dehumanisation of addicts due to its racist and eugenicist "war on drugs", it's also noteworthy that he used to exercise all day every day on top of fucking and playing with substances on the side. no one minded this because his "addiction" to exercise was fun and sexy and healthy, bc he was making his own pain-killing substances rather than taking a pill
and then also talking about house's mental health issues - evidence of his autism and the way that people hate specifically his autistic traits, even when they're not actually causing them problems, and the way in which house masks and performs certain emotional responses, but more so like. his depression and his loss of identity as a disabled man, and his difficulties being OKAY with his disability when everyone around him hates disability
so apart from that evidence, the points of house grappling with this stuff will be:
house bonding with other disabled patients - in cases of chronic pain, lost physical mobility, and also mental illness and/or neurodivergence
and house specifically understanding disabled people's perspectives, or thinking about the PRACTICAL needs of the person they're treating or engaging with rather than what society cares about or what the hospital thinks is "appropriate" or "proper"
house bullying abled people for being Weird
times where house makes commentary about the injustice of the system (when he points out that the hospital is designed not to treat the poor, chronically sick, etc)
house being anxious and defensive of his own bodily autonomy (eg when ppl are trying to control his pain management or force him into systems that don't work, take over his medical autonomy, in general try to physically control his behaviours)
esp bc season 1 culminates in the stacy episode where we find that like... so much of house's trauma is not just being disabled
but the fact that stacy OVERRODE his desires, waiting for him to be put into a medically induced coma so that she could make "the best" decision for him and literally being the cause of his current disability. esp bc like...
she specifically went for the middle ground that he rejected, she was NOT a doctor
and in so doing she. invented his chronic pain. like there's a reason that in that same episode, we see the volleyball player who gets an amputation and is able to go back to sports - yes, house is a lot older than that volleyball player, but like
if he had either treated the infarction successfully or just got an amputation so that he could later work with a prostheses, house thinks he would have done much better
and so much of his TERROR around trusting others - not just stacy but wilson, cuddy, anybody else - is because of that. the one person he loved and trusted overrode his desires and created the hell he lives in where he's just in constant agony and he hates it, and the worst part is like
everyone tells him it's his fault. no one cares about what stacy did to him, that she manipulated him. every day they tell house how terrible it is that he does that to others, but when it's what happened to him and he lives in hell, it's on him because he's Mean and Too Autistic and he should just Stop Being In Pain etc
god it kills me.
BUT YEAH i think. season by season is gonna be a lot better to track the development of these themes and the way they shift and change from season to season - also idefk if i'll be able to stick with like. the last three seasons bc they just suck so ba dhfskjjgh
BUT WE'LL SEE
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I’m not any of the anons from before but as a fellow kazuichi fan I’d personally love to hear you talk about why you like him if you feel like it! personally I was first drawn to his character design, I just thought he looked cool, and then the second he opened his mouth and revealed himself as a loser, I loved him like ten times more lol. I know some people think he’s ‘creepy’ but I feel like he keeps enough a distance from Sonia that he’s just a guy with a crush, and also his “don’t you ever just wanna take girls apart and see how their bones work” line lives in my head rent free
Ok well. Sorry dude (genuinely) but I dont think I think of him the way a lotta ppl do. Heres my take sorry if it ruins it
First of all, do I LIKE his character? No. I like what could become of it if handled well, in the future (same with Akane and Sonia and... a lotta characters tbh).
I dont want to gloss over that he was really not cool with Sonia. I DON'T think it was like, a simple silly crush like any other dude would have, I think he WAS inappropriate about it and (most likely completely unbeknownst to him) enforcing things that she genuinely could not stand. He was insecure and took it out on others as well as himself.
These are all character flaws. Every single character has them (some more than others). Fuyuhiko was genuinely a dick (as I have said many times, having anger issues isnt an excuse for the way he talks sometimes), Hiyoko is a bully, Ibuki is insensitive when se gets caught up, Impostor is condescending sometimes, etc. Kazuichi isnt the only one to be a jackass sometimes and t deny it is to deny his character, just as much as reducing him to only that is oversimplifying it.
What I like about Kazuichi is: the design.
(Ok jk but I do enjoy the design a lot)
I like the teenage insecurity. He thinks he wants to be a chick magnet, but gets scared when girls show an interest in him. His ideal woman is basically a barbie doll. He's a little too eager to see his boy bestie naked. He was so excited for a class retreat because he's never had one before. He was so desperate to be cool and tough and not a nerd that he drastically (and no doubt painfully, ow, TEETH) changed his appearance to conform to his Ideal Self, but could not actually change his personality.
He's basically a teenage boy, warts and acne at all, trying so hard to be The That Guy but spectacularly failing. He's actually somewhat of a genius (and the Death Trap stuff hints to him having a lot of repressed turmoil which honestly so true, teenagers whose only outlet is fantasizing about the gory demise of their tormentors, SO TRUE) but he can't SEE that because he wants to be some kind of cool punk frat bro dude. He's so busy living up to some idealized version of himself that he fumbles who he actually is, which if he just took a moment, would be a pretty cool dude. Basically, did you ever discover a cool band and tried to model your entire personality after what you thought those vibes would be? That, but sad.
So yeah, I think he's great at comedic beats, and also has a lot of heart underneath it, but has never been in a place where he can just accept that and let it shine. His last words were basically "here I am, don't forget me!" which like, man, isnt that just relatable teenagerism?
#I dont like how many ppl excuse his behaviour towards Sonia like. It wasnt malicious but it was really insensitive. As a reader who doent-#-know his inner mechanisms it was uncomfortable (you can hc him whatever u want but I'm speaking from just memory no hc).#He made a lot of awkward fumbles and missteps as did a lot of the characters. But to me hes just such a teenage dude#With all the insecurities and sexuality crisis and trying to impress in an environment where he has a chance to (as opposed to.. home.)#not an art#Sorry anon I disagree with you. But u did prompt me to actually talk about this so thanks!
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