#i just wanted to get the organization done early so we can relax

[fishparasite]

oh yeah dnd is never gonna happen

[glossdebut]

everything i want (a take a bite drabble collection) | MYG

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader (TAB!couple)

✧ GENRE: established relationship, fluff, smut, humor

✧ REQUEST: @joonary: hello my dear friend i am here to request something with dilf yoongi 😁 no other specifications go crazy and @beomcoups: I wanted to send you a request with Yoongi and you spend the day at the beach with this prompt "isn't that view beautiful"? It can be sfw or nsfw.

✧ SUMMARY: The best part of being with Yoongi, from the very beginning, was that nothing had to change for either of you. You could be married to Yoongi and to your job at the same time, build your career from the ground up and never sacrifice a thing. But this? Having a baby? It’s all going to be sacrifice. It won’t be just you and Yoongi anymore, living in your precious little workaholic love bubble. Everything is going to change.

✧ TAGS: pregnancy, different stages of pregnancy (conception, morning sickness, early labor, etc.), the smut is crazy but this is mostly soft, TAB!couple are in complete domestic bliss i fear, and they’re married!, yoongi and MC being each other’s voices of reason, TAB!yoongi’s murderous inner monologues make a comeback, rina cameo, baby penny <3, beach episode moment (warnings under the cut because… um…)

✧ WORDCOUNT: 7.6k words

✧ AUTHOR’S NOTE: blame MJ for this. and my m’lady anon for saying i’m always ovulating. *taps mic* min yoongi my womb is empty please call me.

P.S. thank you to tanni @yooniivrse for beta reading <3

P.P.S. i feel like this can maybe stand alone??? but parts of it might be confusing if you haven’t read take a bite in its entirety, so… do that, if you want!

✧ WARNINGS: vaginal fingering, oral (f. receiving), dirty talk, spanking, nipple play, hand/finger kink, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, yoongi calls reader a sl*t in bed but it is all extremely consensual, rough sex, unprotected sex (duh) (but wrap it before you tap it), creampie (double duh)

one —

Yoongi’s being a real good sport about it, but you know you’re being annoying.

Ever since both of you got home, you just… There are things that need to be done, okay? Like unloading the dishwasher. You can’t just leave that for tomorrow, that would be insane. And since you’re unloading the dishwasher, you might as well organize the kitchen cabinets. They’re a mess, and you’re putting away dishes anyway. Why postpone the inevitable?

And Pepper! Sweet, sweet Pepper. She needs to be fed, obviously. You’re not going to neglect your cat, are you? Your cat who has nobody else in the whole world aside from you and Yoongi? The two of you are responsible for a whole life—feline life! Feline life. 

This doesn’t have anything to do with what Yoongi’s eomma said tonight. Absolutely not. 

You are a grown woman. An award winning music journalist with a kickass career and a super hot, famous, rich man by your side. You’re not going to let Yoongi’s eomma get under your skin. You’re just fidgety. Who wouldn’t be after dinner with the in-laws?

You pause mid-kibble pour, staring down at the sparkly, significant thing wrapped around your finger. It’s been over a year, and sometimes you still can’t believe it’s true. Married. Husband and wife. Mr. and Mrs. Min.

The thought makes you relax, just a little. Yoongi is your better half in every sense. Your soulmate. And more than that, he has your back. There’s no reason why you can’t just tell him what you’ve been thinking. What you’ve been thinking for a long time now, really. 

As if he can read your mind, your husband sidles up behind you, wrapping his arms around you as you finish feeding the cat. 

“You wanna talk about it?” he murmurs against the back of your neck.

“No,” you huff, turning in his hold to loop your arms around his neck. “But I think we have to.”

Yoongi hums, dipping down to kiss you softly. “Okay. Let’s talk about it, then.”

With a sigh, you peel yourself away from your husband and head to the couch. This feels like a sitting down conversation. Yoongi sits next to you, pulling you into his body, your head on his shoulder.

“Y/N… You know it’s not a dealbreaker, right? Kids. You know that.”

Tilting your head up, you study his features.

Yoongi is usually so unshakeable. It’s rare that you see him truly nervous, not when it comes to you. Your relationship is so solid, you can’t remember the last time you saw him like this.

“Yoongi, of course I know that,” you assure him immediately, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek.

The two of you had the marriage-and-kids conversation not long after you moved in together. It was the logical thing to do, with how serious things were getting. The marriage part of the conversation was easy. Yeah, duh, you wanted to marry Min Yoongi one day. No shit. 

The kids part, though? That was a little harder. At least for you.

You didn’t know if you wanted kids. The cons far outweighed the pros, especially where your work schedules were concerned, and at the time, you weren’t sure if that would ever change.

Yoongi was amenable about it, though. He wanted what you wanted. Kids, no kids, whatever. You’re pretty sure those were his exact words.

“I’m not freaking out because I think you’re gonna, like, leave me or something.”

“Okay,” he says, visibly relaxing. “Then why are you freaking out?”

“I don’t know!” you groan, pressing your face into his shoulder. “I don’t know.”

“Baby,” he huffs. “This is our decision, not my eomma’s. Nothing’s changed.”

That’s the thing. That’s why you’re so restless.

“Maybe…” Fuck, you can’t sit still for this. So you stand, hoping you can force the words out if you’re pacing. “Maybe things have changed.”

It would be funny, the way Yoongi’s mouth pops open in a little ‘o’, if you didn’t feel like you were about to throw up.

“I just—” You rub your hands over your face, exasperated. And then you’re stopping in front of him, jabbing your finger at his chest. “You’re really annoying, you know. Paternal. Every time I have to watch you play with your brother’s kid I really want to smack you.”

“Paternal?” Yoongi snorts. His hands catch yours, interlaced fingers pulling you to stand between his open legs.

“Paternal,” you sniff. “Stop looking at me like that.”

Of course, that only makes it worse. He looks so fond, even though you feel more and more like you’re dying as you speak. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

“You mean how long has this been plaguing me?” you grumble, earning a laugh from him.

“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi says as he looks up at you expectantly.

You look down at your joined hands, swinging them back and forth so the warm lamplight catches on your rings. “Since we got married, I guess.”

Yoongi squeezes your hands to catch your attention, quirking an eyebrow at you when you glance up. “That long?” he asks, his voice tinged with disbelief. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure,” you mumble as your heart threatens to beat out of your chest.

“You’re telling me now,” he points out. He sounds a little unsteady, like he’s feeling just as jittery as you are, now that it’s all out in the open.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “I am.”

“You want a baby?”

You nod, bottom lip catching between your teeth. “I want a baby.”

Before you have a chance to react, Yoongi sits up, pulling you into a kiss with a hand on the back of your neck. Almost as soon as you melt into it, clambering into his lap as your lips slot with his, he’s pulling away. 

“With me, right?” he teases, squawking indignantly when you pinch his sides in retaliation. “Yah, I’m just making sure!”

“Yes with you, asshole!”

two —

You feel a little stupid.

Maybe it’s because you don’t know how to act now. Nobody told you that planning to have a baby would suddenly put so much pressure on sex, but now here you are, standing in the kitchen in a too-tight dress while you try not to burn dinner.

You never cook. That’s Yoongi’s job. But you don’t know what else to do with all this restless energy, don’t know how else to initiate the ‘okay, I’m ready, knock me up’ conversation.

You’ve talked about the important things. You’ve dealt with the birth control issue. You’re taking, like, vitamins and shit now. All that’s left is to… actually try, right?

Except you’re nervous as hell, have been since you woke up to the notification from your cycle tracker informing you that you’re in your fucking ‘fertile window’ (ew!), and you’re suddenly acting like someone you don’t even recognize. Christ, you wonder if Yoongi has been feeling like this, too.

Speaking of Yoongi… He isn’t home yet, and for a moment, you think it’s not too late to just get rid of all of the evidence. Do away with the self-imposed theatrics, order some takeout, and act like it’s just another night. It’s not like Yoongi would mind.

But you’ve already committed to these stupid fucking steaks. And candles. There are candles.

It is too late, anyway. Almost as soon as the thought begins to form in your brain, you hear the sound of keys jangling and a lock turning, and then your future sperm donor himself is slipping his shoes off at the front door.

At least, he’s trying to. He’s got one socked foot out, frozen in his tracks as he takes in the scene before him.

“Did I forget an anniversary?”

You scoff, eyes rolling despite the nausea building inside you. “As if you’ve ever forgotten anything in your life.”

“Point made.”  He kicks his shoes off the rest of the way, nodding his head in the direction of the candles on the table. “Wanna tell me what this is for, then?”

You shrug, poking at the steak sizzling in front of you with a pair of tongs. “I wanted to make you dinner.”

“You don’t do that,” he says, eyeing you suspiciously.

“Well, I felt like it tonight,” you huff in exasperation.

“Okay,” he says, rounding the counter. His eyes rake over your form shamelessly, now that he can see all of you. “And the dress?”

“A girl can’t dress up every now and then?”

“Hey,” he says, raising his hands in surrender. “Not complaining, believe me. Just curious.”

You know you’re being a little bit testy. Evasive. But it’s not your fault. Is there a good way to say ‘I did all of this because I want you to cum inside me tonight’? If there is, you haven’t found it.

Instead, you settle on, “I just felt like it.”

Yoongi hums, sliding behind you so he can wrap his arms around your middle. “Just felt like it, huh?” he mumbles. You can feel his lips on the back of your neck, and it’s dizzying how quickly your body reacts to his proximity. “No ulterior motives?”

“Nope,” you say. It sounds like bullshit, even to you. But how are you supposed to spin a convincing lie when your husband’s hands are on you? Hands that slide from hips to waist to tits as his mouth grows insistent at your nape, making you shiver.

“Shame,” he murmurs, nosing at the curve of your neck until his lips reach the shell of your ear. “I was hoping you wanted me to fuck a baby into you.”

“Fuck,” you breathe. Your legs are already growing wobbly beneath you, and he hasn’t even touched you. It’s pathetic, the way anxiety gives way to anticipation so easily.

Smoothly, Yoongi reaches in front of you to turn off the stove. It’s probably best that you skip dinner, anyway. Those steaks were going to be shit and you both know it.

You’re guided away from the stove, spun around so the small of your back is pressed against the kitchen counter. The room seems to shrink around you with the way you’re pinned under Yoongi’s gaze.

He kisses you, slow and deliberate, your legs growing even weaker at the way his lips slide against yours. You get lost in it for a moment, reveling in the way his body molds to yours as his tongue teases at the seam of your lips. But then he pulls away.

“Why don’t you tell me the truth?” His hands slide down your body to knead your ass roughly, causing the hem of your dress to ride up. “What does my girl want, hm?”

“Yoongi,” you whine, desperate as you reach down to palm him through his jeans.

“Nuh-uh,” he chastises, voice laced with amusement. He grabs hold of your wrist, bringing it up to his lips to press a gentle kiss against your skin. “You’ve just gotta ask, beautiful. You know I’ll give you what you need. I’m not a mind reader, though.”

Annoying. Also patently untrue, but whatever. The point of all of this—the dress, the candles, the dinner attempt—was that you wouldn’t have to say it. But of course, Yoongi never makes things easy for you.

“You already know, though,” you huff. “Don’t be mean.”

Yoongi huffs a laugh, fingers skating teasingly along the hem of your dress. “Okay, baby,” he concedes. “I’ll be nice.”

And then his hand slips under your dress, only to find that you’ve foregone panties for the night. “Shit,” he groans. “You’re gonna kill me.”

The anticipation of the day has left you dripping for him, the pads of his fingers sliding along your cunt with ease. You gasp when he thrusts two digits into you, moan when they curl against your front wall, the sensation sending you climbing up the counter.

“This?” he murmurs against your lips. “This is what you want?”

Suddenly, all of your anxiety from the day washes away. It’s stupid, you realize, to be so scared of just telling him everything you want. He loves when you tell him what you want, loves to be the one to fulfil every single one of your wishes. And right now, while your husband’s fingers fuck into your pussy in the middle of your kitchen, all you want is—

“Fuck me. Please, Yoongi. Need you to fuck me.”

“Yeah?” he growls. “Why?”

“B-because,” you whimper, cheeks flushing as you finally say the words. “W-wanna make a baby with you, wan’ you to give me a baby.”

“Fuck,” Yoongi hisses, nipping at your jaw. The pace of his fingers is slow and steady as heat crawls up your spine. You cry out when his thumb begins to circle your clit, your eyes rolling back in your head at the sensation. “There’s my good girl. I’ll give you what you need, baby, I promise. Just cum for me first.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice. You’re so fucking wound up, and his fingers feel so good pumping in and out of you, it was only a matter of time before you unraveled for him. 

Wetness gushes around Yoongi’s fingers, the filthy squelch of his ministrations filling your ears. You don’t have it in you to be embarrassed by it. Not when you’re this close. Before you know it, your orgasm is washing over you, leaving you clenching helplessly around his fingers as he mumbles praise into your neck.

“Shit,” you breathe.

Gently, Yoongi withdraws his fingers. “Feel good?”

With a giggle, you nod, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Mm. We really need to stop using our kitchen for non-kitchen related activities, though.”

“Nah,” he chuckles. “Where’s the fun in that?”

As you catch your breath, you start to feel antsy due to the silence that settles between you two. Everything’s out in the open now, isn’t it?

As if he can sense the shift in your energy, Yoongi presses his forehead against yours, rubbing his hand down your back. “You’re in your head again.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, pouting.

“Don’t apologize,” Yoongi murmurs softly. “Just tell me what's wrong.”

You take a shaky breath, closing your eyes for a moment. Better out than in, you suppose.

“I just… There’s all this pressure now that we’re trying to have a baby. I guess I’m just worried we’re not… doing this right.”

“Right?” he repeats, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Like… It’s a big deal, isn’t it?” you say, glancing at your forgotten steaks further down on the counter. “Shouldn’t we treat it like one?”

Yoongi pulls back, eyes widening in understanding. “So… The dress and the dinner.”

“Yeah.”

There’s a pause, and you can’t help but squirm as he studies you for a moment. You desperately wish you knew what he was thinking, but you know Yoongi. He chooses his words carefully, always.

“Do you want to do things differently?” he finally asks.

Huh.

“What?”

Yoongi grins, chuckling as he reaches to intertwine your fingers with his. “Y/N,” he starts, squeezing your hand. “You are the woman of my dreams. It doesn’t matter when or where or how it happens, our baby is going to be made with love no matter what.”

Your heart pangs at that, lips twisting in a contemplative frown as you consider his words. Damn him for making so much fucking sense all the time.

“If you want to do the dinner and the candles and the rose petals and everything else, we can do that,” Yoongi says, pausing to kiss your nose. “I’ll take my time, fuck you nice and slow. Anything you want.

“But I don’t want you to feel nervous about this,” he murmurs, pressing more kisses into your skin until he’s nosing the underside of your jaw. “I could bend you over this counter and fuck you right here, and we’d still be doing things right, as long as it feels right to you.”

Yoongi’s right. You’ve been building up all of these unrealistic expectations for how this night should go, and for no reason. The anxiety that had built a home in the pit of your stomach gives way to something hotter, your eyes fluttering shut as his breath ghosts over your skin.

“I’m sorry,” you sigh, tangling your fingers in his hair as he mouths at your neck. “I don’t want anything to change.” 

“Quit apologizing,” he chastises with a bite to your skin that makes you gasp. “You know what you want. Always so good at telling me, too. So tell me.”

Here goes nothing.

“I want you to take off my dress,” you breathe. It feels like a good place to start. 

Tongue darting out to lick his lips, Yoongi’s gaze roves over your body. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Bedroom? Or here?”

“Bedroom,” you say, gently pushing him out of your space so you can hop off the counter. 

You barely get a chance to steady yourself before Yoongi’s grabbing hold of your hand. You can’t help but giggle at his eagerness as he drags you out of the kitchen, pausing only to blow out the candles you’d lit earlier.

Once he gets you to the bedroom, Yoongi spins you around so you’re facing away from him. You feel the evidence of his arousal against the curve of your ass as he slowly unzips your dress.

“So fucking pretty,” he murmurs, his breath warm against the back of your neck as your dress drops and pools at your feet. His hands roam over your body, squeezing and caressing everywhere he can reach. “How did I get so lucky, hm?”

Turning in his hold, you loop your arms around his neck with a cheeky smile, your naked form pressed against his clothed one. “Through a mutual disdain for square dancing, if I recall correctly.”

Yoongi laughs at that, gummy smile in full force even as he shamelessly fondles your breasts. “You don’t recall correctly,” he teases. “I had to put in a lot of work after that to actually get you, remember?”

How far you’ve both come since then. No more tortured longing. No more misunderstandings. No more fear of taking the leap. All that remains between you now is love. Plain and simple. 

“You had me from day one,” you insist, fondness swelling in your chest. “I didn’t stand a chance.”

It’s so gratifying, witnessing the way you can still fluster your husband after all this time. With pink cheeks, Yoongi ducks his head, attempting to hide a shy smile. “Aw,” he coos, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Do you love me or something?”

Snorting, you bite back a grin. “I do. Very much. And you love me.”

Yoongi hums in agreement. An errant squeeze to your ass, as casual as it may be, reminds you of where you are. Heat floods you all over again, a delicious shiver wracking your body at the reminder of what you’re about to do. As head over heels as you may be for Yoongi, you’d really like to get his cock inside you sometime this year. 

You catch his gaze, raising a challenging eyebrow at him.

“But you can fuck me like you don’t,” you offer. 

In an instant, the softness in Yoongi’s eyes shifts into something else entirely. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, his grip on your ass tightening.

“You’re sure?” he asks, voice so low and gravelly that your cunt clenches in response. You know him well enough to know that he’s giving you one last out, that his control is likely hanging by a thread.

But fuck, you want it. Want to be fucked within an inch of your life, because who knows the next opportunity you’ll have to get it like that once you’re with child?

“I can handle it.”

Yoongi scans your features for a moment, taking in your flushed cheeks and parted lips. The way your body responds to him without a second thought, willing to take anything he wants to give you. If he’s looking for uncertainty, he isn’t going to find any. Not anymore. 

He must be satisfied with what he finds, because before you can react, you’re suddenly on your back, gasping as you’re enveloped in memory foam.

“Spread your legs, baby,” Yoongi says, his hands on your knees roughly guiding your legs to part nice and wide so he can settle between them. “Show me that pretty cunt of yours.”

“Yoongi,” you whimper, fingers instinctively threading into his hair. It’s getting so long lately, so pullable. You might kill him if he tries to cut it anytime soon. “Want your cock, you don’t have to—“

Your pleas are effectively halted when Yoongi spreads your folds with his thumbs, looking up at you with eyes that are all pupil. “You’re this wet for me, and you think I’m not gonna get my mouth on you?” 

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, surging forward to lick a broad stripe over your pussy. You cry out, back arching and hips kicking off the bed when his tongue flicks against your oversensitive clit.

“Fucking dripping,” Yoongi groans appreciatively. “Holy shit, Y/N.”

The whine that escapes you is pathetic, embarrassment and arousal warring inside you as you rock your hips forward. Luckily, Yoongi gets the hint, dipping down again to swirl his tongue over you.

It’s filthy and loud, the way he sucks and slurps at your pussy like he’s starving for it, can’t get enough. It doesn’t take long before your second orgasm is barreling towards you, thighs trembling on either side of his head as you squirm under him.

“Yoongi, fuck,” you mewl as he laves over your aching cunt, tugging hard at the strands of dark hair caught between your fingers to keep him from pulling away. “I’m gonna cum, like, any second.”

Yoongi hums, tongue lashing at your clit at a pace that almost drives you up the bed. Everything feels so fucking good, so overwhelming, that you can’t hold back any longer. 

You cum hard, a litany of curses and moans falling from your lips as Yoongi works you through it, only letting up when your hands push weakly at his head.

“You’re so worked up, baby,” he teases, although the way he palms himself through his jeans as he climbs over you tells you he’s just as turned on as you are. “You want my cum that bad?”

Your pussy flutters at his words, silently begging to be filled. Fuck. It doesn’t surprise you that your husband knows how to read your body this well, knows exactly how to push all of your buttons, but it still drives you crazy all the same.

“You’re worked up, too,” you huff as you snake your hand under his, feeling the way his erection strains against his jeans. He’s so fucking hard.

“Of course I am,” he agrees, chuckling at your impatience. He pulls his shirt over his head as he speaks, moving to deal with his jeans next. “I’ve got my girl cumming so easily for me, begging for my cock. Why wouldn’t I be worked up?”

“Then fucking do something about it,” you whine, mouth watering when his cock springs free in front of you. You need him inside you yesterday.

In a flash, you’re flipped over roughly so you’re flat on your stomach. 

“So fucking impatient,” Yoongi growls, delivering a sharp slap to your ass that makes you moan.

You feel the heat of his hand dip between your thighs, fingers sliding over your slippery folds, and you can’t help but push your ass back against his touch, knees spreading as wide as they’ll go.

“Look at you. You’re desperate for it.” He sounds almost amazed. You whimper when he slides his fingers from your core, replacing them with the blunt head of his cock. “Well since you wanna act like a slut, I guess I have to fuck you like one, hm?”

Yes. Fucking. Please.

“Please,” you breathe, arching your back prettily for him, wiggling your hips in a way that makes him hiss. “Want it, please.”

Yoongi teases you for a moment, rubbing his tip through your soaked folds, but then the warmth of his body disappears from behind you. “Nah. I changed my mind,” he finally says, smacking your ass once more. “Turn over. I wanna see your face when I cum inside this pussy.”

Oh.

You’ve never moved so fucking fast in your life. Within seconds you’re on your back, and Yoongi doesn’t waste any time either, slotting his body between your legs with ease. You both moan when he finally slides into you, one of his hands coming up to cradle your face.

Yoongi’s always been so patient, much more patient than you. He gives you time to adjust to the stretch of him, his thumb sweetly caressing your cheek as you look into each other's eyes.

But that’s pretty much all the grace you get.

Once he’s sure you’re ready, the first snap of his hips has you reeling, your eyes rolling back in your head. And then he’s fucking you for real, setting a pace that has you crying out his name.

“Fuckin’ love being inside you,” he grunts, his eyes fixed on where your bodies meet so he can watch the way his cock slides in and out of you. “Pussy was made for me, wasn’t it, baby?”

You don’t think you could speak if you tried, too high on the feeling of Yoongi’s cock hitting that place inside you that makes you see stars. Instead, you turn your head, craning your neck until you can get the thumb that was rubbing your cheek into your mouth.

You love Yoongi’s hands. Love how strong and capable they are, love how gentle they can be even when he’s fucking you this hard. You could live and die with Yoongi’s fingers in your mouth and you’d be a happy, happy woman.

Yoongi groans, his thrusts growing rougher as you wrap your lips around his thumb and suck. “There’s my good girl,” he praises. “Fuck, you’re so pretty, baby.”

You preen at the praise, looking up at him through your lashes as you moan around the digit. But then Yoongi’s using his free hand to hitch your leg around his hip, driving his cock even deeper into you somehow, and you’re pulling off of his thumb with a sob.

“Yoongi! F-fuck, it’s too much—”

“You begged for this,” he growls. His thumb, slick with your spit, travels down to circle a nipple, your breath getting caught in your throat when he adds his forefinger and pinches. “You said you could handle it. So take it.”

He keeps fucking into you, rough and relentless, and even though you’ve been reduced to a sobbing mess, it feels so fucking good. So you do what he says and take what he’s giving you.

Satisfied, Yoongi dips down to lave his tongue over your other nipple, sucking it into his mouth as your hands fly to grasp at his hair.

“Nnnghh, Y-yoongi,” you moan. “Feels so g-good.”

With one final flick of his tongue against your breast, he comes back up to kiss you, his mouth moving against yours with an urgency that takes your breath away.

“I love you,” he murmurs against your lips, pressing his forehead against yours. His hands come up to cradle your face again, wiping errant tears from your cheeks. “Love you so much.”

“Love you too,” you sob, using the much-needed reprieve to catch your breath.

“Taking me so good,” he breathes, thrusts growing erratic as he pants against your mouth. “Can’t wait to give you a baby.”

You moan, clenching around him in response. “Need you to cum,” you pant, delirious. “Please, Yoongi, wan’ you to fill me up.”

“Fuck,” he moans, eyes squeezing shut as if he’s pained. “‘M gonna. Gonna fill you up so good, baby. Do me a favor and rub your clit for me, m’kay my love?”

You do as you’re told, slipping a hand between your sweaty bodies. It’s not going to take much at this point, not with how desperate he looks above you. He’s a fucking sight for sore eyes, lips bitten and pupils blown as he tracks the movement of your hand.

“Shit, you’re so sexy,” he groans. “Gonna cum.”

You’re right there with him, both of you moving in perfect synchrony as you chase your release. All it takes is a few passes of your fingers over your clit before your vision goes white, a sob escaping your throat as you feel Yoongi spill into you with a groan.

You cling to him, arms wrapped around his neck as he presses sloppy kisses to your naked shoulder. “God,” you breathe, thighs shaking when you stretch your legs out.

You both gasp for breath, skin sticking together from the sweat that’s been created between you.

“Yoongi?” you mumble. He hums, lifting his head to look down at you. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asks, brows furrowing in confusion. Then, he grins tiredly. “For giving you the creampie of the century?”

“Ew,” you huff, flicking his forehead weakly. “No, idiot. For getting me out of my head.”

You know he knows what you mean. That’s what you do for each other. Yoongi knows how to calm you down like no one else, and you know you do the same for him. It’s a perfect give and take. 

“I don’t know if this will be… If this is the time that’s gonna give us a baby,” you continue, lips twisting as your eyes water slightly. “But I can’t imagine a better man to be the father of my child. I just want you to know that.”

Yoongi softens, taking in your words. Wordlessly, he dips down, eyes fluttering shut as he kisses you tenderly.

“You are the most incredible woman I’ve ever met,” he says, his voice gentle. “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.”

The two of you lay there for a long time, bodies tangled together as you process everything that just happened. What it means for both of you.

The best part of being with Yoongi, from the very beginning, was that nothing had to change for either of you. You could be married to Yoongi and to your job at the same time, build your career from the ground up and never sacrifice a thing.

But this? Having a baby? It’s all going to be sacrifice. It won’t be just you and Yoongi anymore, living in your precious little workaholic love bubble. Everything is going to change. 

Funnily enough, nothing has ever felt more right.

three —

It stands to reason that you find out that you’re pregnant in the office of Look Here Magazine. Where else?

You had your suspicions this morning, when you rolled out of bed nauseous as hell. But you also had an important interview scheduled for this afternoon—surely, you were just anxious about that. But the interview went great, and you still felt like shit afterwards. 

And then you got sick. Like, really sick. In the bathroom of the store you’d stopped at to grab some ginger ale, hoping that would help with the nausea.

Instead of ginger ale, though, you watched with no small amount of shame as the clerk at the register rang up a pregnancy test for you, eyeing you with thinly veiled judgement. Whatever. Jealous bitch needs to get laid.

So here you are, locked in the single stall restroom at your office, staring down at two pink lines. Fuck.

You’re shaking like a leaf. You’re fucking giddy, of course you are, but holy shit. It’s real now. It’s real, and you’re at work, and Yoongi is at his studio, and all you want to do is call him and tell him the news. Because you’re overjoyed, but you’re also terrified, and when you get like this, he’s the only one who can make you feel better.

But you can’t. You don’t want to tell him over the phone. You want to see his reaction in real time, see the gummy smile you love so much, feel his warmth when he pulls you into his arms, kiss him stupid.

So instead, you pick your phone up with trembling hands and snap a picture, sending it straight to Rina. 

It’s five in the morning in Athens. You know she won’t see it for another few hours. But it still calms you down enough to clean up and exit the bathroom, returning to your desk on shaky legs.

★ ★ ★

You can’t wait, as it turns out.

It’s seven in the evening. You got off of work less than thirty minutes ago, and you’re already all the way across town, riding in an ostentatiously large elevator to get to your husband’s swanky ass studio. You definitely broke several traffic laws to get here so fast, but you don’t care. Who knows when Yoongi will get home? You need to tell him now.

When the elevator doors slide open, allowing you to step foot onto Yoongi’s floor, you start to feel sick again. For a different reason this time. 

You know Yoongi’s going to be just as psyched as you are, but still, what if he’s not? What if he’s scared shitless and all of a sudden he changes his mind about this? You both wanted a baby, but it sure as shit feels completely different now that it’s real.

You don’t know what you’re going to do if he has a change of heart. Fuck. Flee the country, probably.

You put one foot in front of the other, following the familiar path to Yoongi’s studio. Your heart races as you punch in the code you know by heart, gut twisting as the whir of the lock fills your ears. And then you’re stepping inside, slipping your shoes off at the door with the expression of a sighted rabbit on your face.

Yoongi spins around in his chair, eyes widening at your unexpected presence. “Hey,” he greets, visibly puzzled as he gets up to pull you into a hug. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Hey,” you breathe, heartbeat thrumming in your ears. But still, it feels nice to be in his arms after the day you’ve had. “I didn’t know I was. Sorry if I’m interrupting.”

“Nah, don’t apologize. I need a break anyway,” he says, pulling away to study your face. “Everything okay?”

“Um!” you squeak out, grabbing his hands to pull him towards the couch in the corner of his studio, sinking down on the worn leather. You stare down at the material beneath you. He really needs to replace this thing. “Yes? I think so. I hope so.”

“You’re scaring the piss out of me, Y/N,” he huffs, settling down next to you. Gently, his fingers grasp your chin, lifting your head so you’re looking straight at him. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Swallowing thickly, you shift your bag into your lap, digging around in it for a moment until you can procure what you need. Shakily, you hold out two positive pregnancy tests for him to see. God, pregnancy is so gross. You’re holding pee sticks in your hand.

“I’m, um…”

“You’re pregnant,” Yoongi breathes, eyes widening in amazement as he stares at the little lines. Tearing his eyes away, he gapes at you. “You’re pregnant? We’re going to have a baby?”

“I think so,” you say, chewing at your bottom lip nervously.

“Shit,” he says, grinning so wide you can’t help but return it. “We’re going to be parents!”

Before you know it, tears are streaming down your face, even as you laugh in disbelief along with him. You never should’ve doubted him, not even for a second.

“We’re going to be parents,” you sob, still clutching the positive tests in your hand as you speak through your tears. “Can I put these down? It’s so gross. I peed on these.”

Laughing, Yoongi takes the tests from your hand and sets them aside, pulling you into his lap so he can kiss you silly. “Fuck,” he murmurs, breaking away with a sniffle. “I’m so happy.”

Fuck. He can’t do that. He can’t cry, too. You don’t think you can take it.

“Me too,” you say, wiping at your eyes. Then you smack his shoulder, sniffling yourself. “You can’t cry, stupid. You’re supposed to be the strong one.”

Another laugh bubbles up from his throat, nothing but fondness and joy in his watery eyes. “I think for the next nine months, you’re one hundred percent going to be the strong one,” he says, staring down at your belly with awe.

It’s crazy. There’s nothing there yet, but yes there is.

“Yoongi,” you whimper, mouth twisting as you try to hold back another wave of tears. “We’re going to be parents.”

“We’re going to be parents,” he repeats, swallowing thickly as he meets your eyes again. “Fuck.”

“Fuck,” you agree. You’re delirious, so happy you think you could pass out. “I love you.”

Pulling you into a tight hug, Yoongi rubs your back soothingly. “I love you so much, baby,” he breathes as he nuzzles into your hair.

Nothing has ever felt more right.

four —

Yoongi is going to kill somebody. It’s only a matter of time.

He was close, in that stupid fucking airport. It was going to be that bitchy flight attendant. It was. She’d been testing his patience all goddamn morning, getting testy every time he asked for updates on his flight, and Yoongi was already barely hanging on by a thread. But then he could practically hear your voice in his ear. Don’t be a jackass. It’s not her fault your flight is delayed, you’d say. Because you’re his voice of reason when he can’t keep himself in check.

So the flight attendant was spared.

Then, it was going to be the snot-nosed little brat that kept kicking the back of Yoongi’s seat the whole way home. He had booked the flight last minute, unable to upgrade past economy. Which was fine. It’s not like Yoongi’s a snob!

He was just already pissed off. He wanted—no, needed—to be with you, instead of cruising at 35,000 feet, stuck in his very own personal saw trap. But you’d insisted he go on this stupid ass work trip, eviscerating every single logical objection he tried to make. You were impossible to reason with lately. 

So there he was.

In the end, the kid was spared, too. Only because throttling a child would probably look really bad for him, considering the circumstances.

The universe just seemed to be working against him, even after the plane touched down on the tarmac. Because of course! Of course it took him forever to find his stupid suitcase. Of course it took him even longer to get an Uber. Of course there was traffic on the way! Why not? What’s one more ‘fuck you, Min Yoongi’?

And of course, when he finally makes it, when he’s panting and out of breath, suitcase in hand as he searches wildly for the room number he was texted, the first person he sees is not you.

“Well look what the cat dragged in!”

Yeah, Rina might not make it. He’s sure you’ll understand.

Yoongi appreciates Rina, he really does. He tries to be there for you when you need him, but sometimes, despite his best efforts, he can’t be. It’s just the way life works. But Rina always steps in when she’s needed. Today is a great example.

That being said, Rina also has a tendency to step in when she’s not needed. Or particularly wanted. Like the entire past month, living in his guest bedroom to dote on you even though—apart from the work trip you insisted he go on—Yoongi has literally been working from home since month six, at your beck and call. 

Yoongi gets it. Rina is your best friend. He knows you’ve been elated to have her closeby this past month. But still, Yoongi would’ve paid for a hotel room for her or something. It’s been a little weird trying to, like, fuck his super hot pregnant wife knowing her best friend is just across the hall.

“Hi, Rina,” he says, deadpan even as he’s catching his breath. “Wanna point me in the direction of my wife?”

“She’s piiiiiissed at you,” Rina sing-songs, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

Yoongi’s eye twitches.

“Because I’m late?” he guesses.

“Because you impregnated her in the first place.”

“Great,” he says, choosing not to engage. He points at a door. “There?”

“Good luck, champ,” Rina says in response, waving him through. Like he needs fucking permission to see you. Don’t engage don’t engage don’t engage.

Huffing, he opens the door to what he can only hope is actually your room, closing it softly behind him.

“Yoongi,” you warble.

There you are.

Suddenly, it’s like none of the events that have transpired today matter one fucking bit. Not the frantic voicemail he’d woken up to, the delayed flight, the bratty kid, none of it.

You look like an angel. A very pregnant, very stressed angel, but his angel nonetheless.

“Baby,” he breathes. He’s by your side in an instant, carding his fingers through your hair. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“How was your trip?” you ask, leaning into his touch so sweetly. Man, he missed you.

“About as pointless as I thought it’d be. Just wanted to be with you the whole time.”

“Well, you’re here now.”

“Yeah. I’m here now,” he hums, pressing a kiss to your sweaty temple. “How are you feeling?”

You huff at that, staring up at him like he’s stupid. Or like Rina wasn’t lying when she said you’re pissed at him. 

“Like my vagina will never be the same again, thanks to you,” you grumble. “I can’t believe I let you do this to me. I’m going to make you pay, Min Yoongi.”

“Feel free,” he huffs, unable to suppress the small smile quirking at the corners of his lips. He can’t help it. You can be pissed at him all you want, he’s just happy to see you. “I’ll even remind you, if you want. Do you want me to put a date on your calendar?”

“Don’t push it,” you grit out, glaring daggers at him.

“You’re the only one doing the pushing today, baby.”

“God, I hope so,” you whine. “Get this thing out of me! It’s not fair that you get to be a DILF and I have to be all big and gross.”

A DILF???

“Baby,” Yoongi coos, doing his best to stifle the laughter threatening to break free. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N. You’re glowing.”

“It’s sweat,” you deadpan.

“No, I’m serious,” he insists, taking your hands in his despite the way you try to whack him away. Despite his amusement, he’s completely sincere when he says, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Don’t be like that.”

“Really?” you pout.

Yoongi nods sagely, squeezing your hands. “One hundred percent a MILF.”

You groan, whacking his hands away in irritation, successfully this time. “Make yourself useful and go get me some ice chips, motherfucker.”

He snorts, backing towards the door with a little salute. “Yes ma’am,” he says. “I’ll be back in a few. I love you.”

“I love you too. Asshole.”

As he slips out of your room, he swears he catches the corners of your lips turning up, although you try valiantly to hide it. 

Yeah. You’re going to be just fine.

five —

It’s been nine months—thirty six weeks, because apparently babies are measured in weeks for some reason—since Min Penny was brought into this world. Yoongi doesn’t think he’ll ever get sick of looking at her.

She looks so much like you, it’s crazy. Every time he says that, you’re quick to tell him just how wrong he is—that she has Yoongi’s nose, Yoongi’s eyes, Yoongi’s smile—but when he looks at her, all he sees is you.

He loves it. She’s perfect.

She sleeps every night in a crib that Yoongi built, surrounded by stuffed animals that you handpicked, in a home that you two have made together.

Yoongi couldn’t be happier. 

The three of you have spent the last week or so in Daegu, and Yoongi’s parents have had ample time to get plenty of pictures and shower Penny with gifts that she proceeds to shove in her mouth at every opportunity.

It’s time to head back home, but not before a little detour. 

The weather is perfect today, giving both of you an opportunity to celebrate Penny’s half birthday the way you’ve been wanting to. A little overcast, but not so much that there’s a chance of rain. Really, it couldn’t be any better.

Yoongi’s always hated the beach, but a weekend trip to Jeju with his family didn’t sound half bad when you’d pitched it. And now that he’s here, sprawled out on a blanket on Jungmun Saekdal Beach while you shovel Jolly Pong into Penny’s waiting mouth, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

When Penny grows disinterested in the Jolly Pong, you take a moment to adjust the little yellow sun hat you’d bought for her earlier and then lean back on your hands.

“Isn’t that view beautiful?” you sigh.

It’s so silly. You’re gazing out into the water, eyes sparkling as you take in the scenery in front of you. It’s beautiful here, it is. Yoongi hasn’t been to Jeju in a long time, and he’s sure the view is just as beautiful as you say. But all Yoongi can see is you. You, the amazing mother of his child. 

You’re radiant, glowing in a way that he’s never seen before. Even after all this time, you never fail to take his breath away.

“Yeah,” he hums, his hand curling around yours where it rests in the sand. “It is.”

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[moody-alcoholic]

These Violent Delights

Chapter 5 - Once Upon A Playground Rainy

Summary: Poly 141 x fem!reader, a/b/o alternate universe. 6.6k words. Omega's trying to be helpful for better and for worse.

CW: a/b/o alternative universe, a/b/o dynamics, typical a/b/o universe tropes (claiming, heats), Gaslighting, medical procedures, bullying, angst.

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Enjoy <3

You make it to the lab just after 6. The barracks were quiet when you left but the base is busy with activity. You feel like you’re breaking some kind of rule sneaking around. You don’t need to sneak, Dr. Piper knows about this. The lab is quiet too, there is only Dr. Miller sat in his usual spot at the desk. He has goggles on as he looks at something in a jar. 

“Hey, glad you remembered, I was worried you weren't going to show.”  He smiles at you looking up from whatever he’s working on. 

“I want to help them, I won't forget,” you say walking over to him. He takes his goggles off and pushes back from the table. You stop at the bottom of the steps. 

“Come on, we need to go to the medical room,” he says walking over to you. You both make your way up to the room which has a keycode on it now. He knows the code, Dr. Piper must trust him. You automatically sit up on the exam bed when you go in. 

“Is Dr. Piper coming?” you ask as you watch him clean his hands. 

“I told her she could sit this one out, she needs all the rest she can get.” He smiles at you as he drys his hands off. Well that’s true. She’s always working so late you barely get to see her. 

“So what are we doing?” you ask. His scent is strong in the air now and you try not to let it go to your head. 

“I need to take some blood, and I have something for you to take,” he says, taking things out of the cupboard. 

“What is it?” you ask watching him organize everything.  

“The drug? The same you had last time,” he says looking at you confused. 

“Last time?” you ask, you remember him giving you 2 injections. 

“Yeah, do you not remember?” he says, coming over to you with the tray of supplies. You try to think back, but you can’t remember. You remember the conversion about when he left the bunker. 

“Do you normally have trouble remembering things?” he asks. You shake your head, why can’t you remember ?

“Good, we wouldn’t want to give Dr. Montgomery more to worry about, would we.” 

“No,” you say, rolling your sleeve up so he can take some blood. When he’s done he comes back over with a syringe. You’re too scared to ask what it is now. You should remember, you’re sure he told you. 

“It’s for the hormone blocker right?” you ask, pulling the rest of your sleeve up. 

“There you go, you’re not losing the plot.” He smiles, you smile back. It’s for Simon, it’s the hormone blocker of course.

“So are you ready for your heat?” he asks as he finishes up. 

“I guess so, I still have a few weeks. Do you think the blocker will be ready by then?” you ask, pulling your sleeve down. 

“I hope so. I’m working as hard as I can. You doing this is a big help,” he says, throwing everything in the trash. You hop off the bed. 

“Wait, you should lay down for a bit, 15 minutes. Wouldn’t want you passing out on the way back to the barracks would we?” You shake your head getting back up on the bed. He comes round and raises the back for you so you can lean back a bit. 

“Why would I pass out? I didn’t last time,” you say. 

“No but it’s better to be safe than sorry. I wouldn't want you getting hurt,” he says, you sigh, relaxing back. It’s the first time you’ve been up this early in days and with the sleepless nights, it’s not long before you’re starting to doze off. The room is warm and the exam table is surprisingly comfy. 

You don’t remember falling asleep, but you’re woken by the room door opening. 

“How are you feeling?” Dr. Miller asks. You blink away the sleep in your eyes. You move off the bed. 

“Fine, tired.” He smiles and you follow him out of the room. 

“Take it easy, okay, we don’t need to give Dr. Montgomery or Captain Price anything to worry about, okay?” You nod blindly at him as you leave. You’re so tired, you want to get back into bed. The walk back over to the barracks is nice. The morning sun lights up the dew-covered grass, and there’s a low fog making the forest look like something out of a picture book. You let the smell of pine fill your nose before you walk back into the barracks. 

“Hey, where have you been so early?” Johnny asks from the table, you look up at the clock it’s already almost 7. You didn’t think anyone would be up this early. Shit , you don’t know what to say. 

“Dr. Piper. I needed to see her about something,” you lie. You take another step towards the kitchen. There’s no way he can tell you’re lying. You blow out the nerves. 

Dr. Piper comes into the kitchen. You freeze watching as Johnny looks at her then back at you, confused. She goes over to the kettle while you’re just standing there trying to decide what to do.  

“Dr. Piper, I need to talk to you,” you say quickly, before Johnny can get a word in. She turns with a mug in her hand, and she frowns at you. 

“Okay.” She puts the mug down and starts to head back to her room. You quickly follow after her. 

“I thought you were at the lab,” you say loud enough for Johnny to hear. 

“You were at the lab? Is everything okay?” she asks as you walk into her room. She closes the door behind you. 

“Yeah, just the sleeping pills. I think they’re a good idea,” you say. 

“Okay, I’ll get that sorted,” she says. You sigh. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else?” 

“No, I’m just tired,” you say. You want to get out of the room now. 

“We still need to talk with Captain Price about your heat.” You feel yourself blushing, you’re embarrassed all of a sudden. 

“We kissed,” you blurt out. “Me and John.” 

Dr. Piper looks a little shocked. 

“How do you feel about that?” she asks. 

“I don’t know, it was nice, I trust him.” You look at her as she takes a step towards you. 

“I mean we’re going to have sex in a few weeks, I feel like a kiss is nothing really.” 

“That’s true but heats are very different from something romantic like a kiss,” she says. Romantic? 

“I like John,” you say. 

“That’s good, and he’s a good alpha. It’s okay to feel all these new emotions. This heat will be very different from the past ones. It’s good that we’re talking, and you know my door is always open,” she says, resting her hand on your shoulder.

You nod, smiling at her. She’s right, this time it will be different. You’re going to be getting claimed for one, not to mention you’ll actually be with someone you trust. It’s different now that you’re in a pack. A device beeps on Dr. Piper's waist. She drops her hand looking at it. 

“Crap, I have to go. I’ll sort out the meeting with John okay?” she says as you walk out the room. You nod at her and she smiles, rushing down the corridor. Johnny steps round the corner with a bowl in his hand and a spoon in his mouth. He gives you a look. You’re not quite sure what it means, so you go into your room, closing the door behind you. You don’t need anyone to worry. You just need to be a good omega. 

A week goes by and Dr. Piper still hasn’t set up the meeting. She’s been busy: new scientists show up—normal people, not people who worked for the professor. They don’t look at you as weird as the regular soldiers. They look at you more in awe, like you’re something to be studied. 

Your visits with Dr. Miller have been going well. He keeps you up to date on the progress, and how it’s going. He thinks he's perfected the hormone blocker but the true test will come during your heat. You’ve been tired, the early mornings mixed with the restless nights have been hitting you hard.

You haven’t seen much of John or Simon, but Johnny and Kyle have been around and you’ve been eating lunch or dinner with them which is nice. Not so many people stare and talk when you’re with them. You really want to spend some time with John and maybe go for a walk again.

It surprises you when John asks if you could help with a training exercise. You don’t mind, in fact you were more than happy to help. You’ve not really seen them in action apart from when they rescued you. You weren't really paying attention to what was going on then, just hoping you made the right choice to trust them. 

“Okay, here’s what’s going to happen,” John says, getting everyone’s attention. You’re standing next to him and everyone else is lined up with their backs to what looks like an empty abandoned building. Everyone is dressed head to toe in gear with massive weapons swung over their shoulders. The sight of them makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck.  

“So now that we have these heightened senses, we need to train them. Dr. Montgomery suggested this. Since omegas give off the strongest scent, she’s going to hide somewhere in the building and it’ll be your job to find her and bring her out without using your eyes.” John picks up a bag by his feet throwing strips of black cloth to them all. 

“We’re playing hide and seek with blindfolds?” Johnny asks as he catches one. 

“Yes, and the quicker you find her the less drills we have to do. You’ve all felt the heightened sensations, your sight, hearing, smell. That’s a benefit of the formula. It’s the main reason Professor Hale was trying to perfect it, so that the US could have an army of ‘super soldiers,’” John explains. 

“So we’re super soldiers now?” Johnny asks, tying the black strip round his forehead. 

“The only thing super about you is how much you can run that mouth of yours MacTavish,” Simon says. You smile as you watch him secure his blindfold on his forehead. 

John turns to you, placing his hand on your shoulder. “Okay, so you’re going to hide anywhere you want inside the building. Make it as hard as you want, just don’t get yourself hurt.” You nod. 

“What about you, are you going to be looking for me too?” He shakes his head 

“Actually alphas are the worst at detecting scent so maybe you would need more training,” you say looking at John. You feel yourself blushing as you hear Johnny chuckle. 

“Someone needs to watch to make sure you’re not cheating.” Kyle nudges Johnny, who starts to protest and you see John shake his head. 

“Go on then, go hide. We'll give you a few minutes,” John says to you, nodding towards the building. You smile at him and walk past them all into the entrance of the building. There's rubble everywhere and before you’ve really even made it in you're tripping over stones. You go upstairs walking down one of the empty halls looking in each room seeing if there’s anything you could hide behind or inside of. John did say make it hard, but you’re not sure what that means for 3 trained soldiers.

You can hear them talking outside. You know for sure they can hear you moving around no matter how hard you try to avoid making noise. You come to the end of the long building. There is another staircase down but you want to stay upstairs. You duck into one of the rooms that has boards on the top half of the door. There’s a desk in the room. Better than nothing. 

You sit down. This is fun, and you’re helping them. You hear John tell them they can go and you feel nervous all of a sudden. Your adrenaline spikes at the thought of you being hunted. You keep still, but you project your scent. You want to help them a little bit. You can hear them downstairs, talking and moving around. 

“So we’re like sniffer dogs?” Johnny asks. You hear Simon sigh. They’re under you now, you think. Maybe they’re confused. You stop projecting your scent. 

“What dog would you be if you could be a dog?” Johnny asks. The thought of Johnny as a dog makes you giggle. 

“Shush!” They stop. You slap your hand over your mouth realizing what you’ve done. You can’t help but smile though. You hear them moving a little quicker now. It sounds like they’re heading to the staircase at the end of the hall. It takes them a while to get up the steps. You contemplate moving but decide to stay. If you so much as move the stones around you, they’ll be able to hear it.

When you can see their shadows in the hallway you hold your breath. You’re not sure why. Even an alpha would be able to smell you this close. They’re quiet on their feet, sure of their movements even with the blindfolds. You see Simon first. You can only see the bottom half of his body as he turns to face the room, his hands feeling the boards.  

“Duck into this room on the right,” Simon says. Shit, it’s over, they’ve found you. Simon walks over to you and you stand up putting your arm out to stop him before he walks into you. He pulls the blindfold off and you smile at him. 

“Found her,” Simon says as Johnny and Kyle stumble in pulling their blindfolds up. You walk out with them and Johnny wraps his arm around your shoulders. You feel like if you'd let him he would have carried you out of the building like some trophy they’ve just won. When you get back out John seems happy, nodding and smiling before asking everyone to do it again. You try to pick a harder spot but the place is pretty barren. You start just trying to avoid them, moving from room to room when they get close to you. 

One of the runs you accidentally bump into Kyle when they split up. They’re too good at this, always finding you within at least 10 minutes which makes John happy. You’re not sure how long you’ve been doing this for but it must be midday at least. The sun is high in the sky and it's unusually warm. Johnny has his arm around you again as you walk out the building. You look up at the sky when you leave, you're bringing your hand up to block the sun when everything goes fuzzy. You’re overcome with dizziness and then everything goes black. 

“Hey, can you hear us lass?” That’s Johnny’s voice. You open your eyes. The sun is bright in the sky. Johnny is leaning over you, his hands shaking your shoulders. You feel sick and lightheaded. You should have eaten something this morning. You hear more voices around you as you start to sit up, what happened? The last thing you remember was stepping out of the building.  

“Don’t move, let's wait for the doctor to come.” Johnny pushes your shoulder back down. Your fingers are tingling as your senses start to come back. All you can smell is beta in the air, it’s calming. You look around seeing John come over to you. His alpha is strong, overwhelming the beta in the air. Now you really don’t want to be laid on the floor. 

“I’m fine,” you say, trying to sit up again. You don’t want to be a bother. You remember what Dr. Miller told you. Dr. Piper and John are always so busy. They don’t have time for you to be forgetting to eat.  

“You’re not fine, stay there.” John’s voice is commanding. It makes hairs stand up on the back of your neck. He’s worried. Johnny lets you sit up supporting your shoulders. You watch as Simon walks back over to John and you can see Kyle walking over with Dr. Piper. You don’t need her—you’re fine, you just pushed yourself too much and skipped breakfast. Dr. Piper kneels down putting a bag on the floor next to you. 

“I’m fine,” you repeat. She sighs, opening the bag and taking out the blood pressure cuff. You stare at her. You’ve been through this a million times before. 

“How do you feel? You’re not allowed to say fine,” she asks as she swabs your forehead with a thermometer.

“Lightheaded,” you admit, “but it’s going away.”

“Blood pressure is low. When was the last time you ate?” she asks. You look up at John. 

“I had breakfast,” you lie. 

“Yeah? We’re going to check that theory,” she says, reaching out for your hand. You sigh, letting her prick your finger. She puts it in the machine as you wait for the reading. 

“Low blood pressure, oh look at that! Low blood sugar,” she says, standing up and putting everything away. You look up at John. His arms are crossed, and you can’t tell if he looks angry or worried. You’ve been a bad omega. You should have eaten breakfast. 

“You know you can’t be doing this so close to your heat. You need to eat 3 meals a day,” she says, helping you up to your feet. You nod, keeping your eyes on John. He’s disappointed at least. 

“Simon’s going to take you back to the barracks,” John says. You look over at Simon. You can never tell what he’s thinking, especially with the mask. You don’t want to go with Simon, but you don’t want to upset John more than you already have. You nod following him as he walks away. You feel sick. You shouldn’t have been projecting your scent so much. If you had given them a challenge then you wouldn’t be as tired. You walk in silence back to the barracks. You feel like a kid that’s done something wrong. When you get through the door he pulls out one of the chairs from the table. 

“Sit,” he says, going into the kitchen. You watch as Simon waits for the kettle to boil. You’re nervous, and you don’t know why. 

“Milk and sugar?” he asks, looking over at you. You nod. It feels like the most he’s ever spoken to you. You watch as he makes tea. You think this is the most you’ve ever seen him do, too. He comes over placing a mug down. You smile, pulling it into your hands, warming them as he sits next to you. You swallow the nerves away. His alpha is strong in the air for a second before it completely evaporates. You’re not sure what to say to him. You don’t know if he will start the conversation or not. 

“Do you like the book?” he asks, nodding at the copy of Alice in Wonderland next to you. 

“Dr. Piper gave it to me. I used to read a lot in the bunker,” you say. “Have you read it? It’s about this girl called Alice, she falls down a rabbit hole. I like the cat. I like all the animals actually.” You look up at him.

“I’ve read it before. Drink your tea,” he says. You look down at the cup. You didn’t really think he was the type of person to read. You sip the tea, it’s almost too sweet for you but you don’t want to complain. 

“What kind of books did you have in the bunker?” he asks. 

“Just story books. Have you read Charlotte's Web?” you ask. 

He shakes his head. “I know there’s a film though.” 

You almost spit your tea out. 

“There’s a film?” 

“Yeah. There’s an Alice in Wonderland film too,” he says. You smile. 

“Do you think we could watch them?” you ask, looking over at the TV. 

“Yeah, maybe,” he says. You take another sip of the tea. 

“Do you have a family back in the UK?” Maybe now is better than ever to get some information out of him. Get to know him better. 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you miss them?” you ask. You’re trying to read his eyes at least, since he does such a good job at protecting his scent. He’s almost as good as a trained beta. He’s one of those people who’s just a natural at it.  

“Every day.” There’s sadness in the air now. He turns away from you, upset. You sip your tea again.

“How old were you when Professor Hale took you away?” You’re surprised by the question. 

“I don’t know, 13, I think. My memories before that time, they’re not really there.” You don’t know how to word it. All you could remember from before was your mother and now you’ve learned that was just a memory planted in your head.  

“What do you remember?” he asks, looking back at you. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to believe anymore.” You shrug. 

“It must have been hard, being alone.” 

“I’m used to it. I was never really alone. Dr. Piper was always around, or the Professor,” you say, watching his eyes, trying to see if there’s any change. You take in a deep breath but all you can smell is the tea. 

“Do you have any siblings?” you ask. There’s the smell of sadness again. It’s overwhelming. You feel like you can see a change in his eyes, or maybe you’re looking too hard. 

“Why do you care?” he asks, his voice a little harsher than he meant it to be. 

“Sorry, I’m just trying to get to know you.” You sigh looking into your tea. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he doesn’t want to get to know you. 

“Did you ever go to school?” he asks. You look up at him. He seems more relaxed now. You try to think back, you don’t remember much about school or anything before the bunker. 

“All I remember is what I learned from the bunker. Dr. Piper would teach me things. I don’t remember ever going to school.” You almost laugh at the question. “What about you? Did you go to school?” 

“Yeah. Whenever it rains I think of school,” he says.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“I like the rain.” You smile, sipping the tea. You look out the window. It’s bright out. For once, the skies are clear. You hear his chair scraping as he gets up. You see him disappear around the corner down the hallway, and you hear a door open. He comes back around to the table placing a book down. 

“Catch-22?” 

“It might not be your style, but if you’re bored of Alice in Wonderland, it might be a good change.” 

“What is it about?” 

“The war. Like I said, you might not like it.” He shrugs as he sits back down. 

“Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you.” You smile at him. You wish you could see what he was thinking. 

“Could get you more if you wanted?” 

“Yeah, that would be nice. You don’t have to, though, I know you’re busy. You and John have other things to worry about.” 

“Price likes you, I'm sure he’d sort something out,” he says.

“Do you like me?” you ask. He doesn’t say anything, and his eyes don't tell you what he’s thinking. You can’t help but feel like he doesn’t want to answer. 

The door to the building opens and you turn to see John walk in. You don’t know why that makes you blush. 

“Soap and Gaz are in the pit. Go.” Simon gets up. Your eyes follow him as leaves. John comes to sit next to you. 

“So why have you been skipping meals?” he asks. You look down at your empty mug. 

“I don’t know, I guess I haven’t been paying attention. Sorry.” 

“You need to take better care of yourself.” He sighs. You look up at him nodding. 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, but from now on someone will be coming with you for meals. Lunch and dinner,” he says. You sigh, slouching down in the chair. It’s okay. You don’t really mind. You’ve missed having someone around for lunch. You nod at him. 

“I don’t think Simon likes me,” you say, gripping the book. 

“Simon’s a tough nut to crack. Don’t take it personally.” You nod. You wish he would like you.   

“You would let us know if anything is wrong right? If you don’t want to talk to any of us, you can always talk to Dr. Montgomery,” he says. 

“I know I'm sorry, I’ll do better,” you say. He smiles. 

“Come on, let's get an early lunch then you can take a nap. You probably need it.” He gets up and you smile following after him. 

Another week goes by. There’s more training with everyone, the same as before with them having to find you blindfolded. They’re getting better and you don’t even need to project your scent any more. John says maybe he’ll look at going somewhere outside the base for drills. Better practice, as you can get more distance from them. Regardless, it sounds like fun. You’re sitting in the lab. It's the weekend so most of the scientists go home. It’s just Dr. Miller and Dr. Piper. Although Dr. Piper is out, it's just you.

“How have you been feeling this week? No more incidents?” he asks. You shake your head. 

“How many of these are left?” you ask as you roll your sleeve up. 

“A few more, then we can move on to stage 2,” he says. You frown, for some reason it hurts this time. 

“Stage 2?” 

“You haven’t been listening have you?” he says frowning as you pull your sleeve back down. 

“Sorry, I know I’ve been tired lately, thanks to the early mornings. It’s hard to sleep at night.” You jump off the stool, looking towards Dr. Piper's office. You wish you could take the sleeping pills, but they make you feel sick. 

“You should start going to bed earlier. Try herbal tea.” You nod at him. Maybe that’s a good idea. 

“Stage 2, that will come when you’re in heat. When do you think that will be?” he asks. You count in your head. 

“Next week, maybe the week after. It doesn’t really work on a timer,” you say. 

“You worried about John’s rut? Alphas can get aggressive,” he says. You feel yourself blushing.

“No, I trust John,” you say, pulling your jacket on. It’s not like you can do anything.

“Well, if you need anything you know where to find me,” he says, turning back to his work. You nod walking out of the lab back to the barracks. It looks like it might rain. You like the rain, the idea of curling up in your nest with a book while you listen to the rain sounds like the best idea right now. When you make it to the barracks you bump into Johnny. 

“Lunch?” he asks. You nod, looking at the time. It’s almost 1 o’clock. His arm wraps around your shoulders. 

“What have you been doing today?” he asks. 

“Nothing really,” you say. There hasn’t been any training today, you’ve been stuck inside all day. 

“I have a story to tell you about Gaz slapping a drill sergeant's ass,” he says. You chuckle. “See he thought it was Si’s ass, until the guy turned around.” 

“Are you sure it wasn’t you who did that?” You laugh as you walk into the mess hall. 

“Why, what did you hear?” You smile, picking up a tray.

“Sounds like something you’d do, not Kyle.” 

“You don’t know what I'm capable of.” He nudges you. You fill your plate up with food and two puddings, it’s chocolate again. You both make your way over to an empty table. There’s a few people around but not as many as usual. You keep making small talk with Johnny. If there is something Johnny is always good at, it’s filling dead air. You never feel alone when he’s around. Halfway through eating a new group of soldiers comes through and for some reason they make you nervous, taking seats at a table behind Johnny. 

“Is that her?”

You feel sick. The pit in your stomach isn’t going away. You can hear them laughing, you know Johnny can hear them too he sits up in his seat. 

“Is this why you’ve been skipping meals?” He asks, you shake your head pushing the food around your plate. You don’t want to eat anymore, not even the pudding. You feel embarrassed. You wish you could just curl up in a ball and vanish. 

“Would you?”

“What risk discharge for her?” 

“No, she needs bigger tits.” 

“Bigger ass too.”  

Laughter follows. You really try to ignore it, digging your nails into your palm. It's almost like you can only hear that table now, the group of 5. What if you’re not good enough? What if John thinks these things? If there was another omega would he pick her? You don’t remember standing up or running past them, you just feel the cool outside air hit your face.

You don’t wait for Johnny, just rush over to the barracks. Your head is pounding as you burst through the door rushing straight over to John’s office. You’re ignoring everything around you, tears streaming down your face as you knock on his door. You barely even hear him say come in before you open the door. John looks over his desk at you, as soon as he sees you he gets out his chair. 

“What's wrong? Where’s Johnny?” he asks, putting his hands on your shoulders trying to look you in your eyes. You can't talk, you're too worked up, you're just sobbing in front of him. This isn’t helping, he probably thinks you're being so stupid. You hear people talking behind you as John squeezes your shoulders. His alpha is strong in the air. You're making him upset. You’re being a bad omega.

“What happened?” John asks someone behind you.

“Some rookies in the mess saying some not nice things.” It’s Johnny. John sighs, pulling you onto his chest wrapping his arms around you. 

“Take Gaz, get me names,” he says. You don't hear Johnny reply but you hear the door close.

“Come sit,” he says, guiding you over to the sofa. You sit down as he reaches over to his desk pulling out some tissues.

“I’m sorry.” You sniffle taking the tissue.

“No need to be sorry. What did they say?” he asks, his scent still strong in the air. You turn to look at him trying to compose yourself.��Don’t be a problem.

“Nothing, just stupid stuff,” you say, wiping your nose. 

“Come on, let's go for a walk,” he says, offering his hand. You nod, brushing the tears away and taking his hand. He walks you back out the base to the dirt path just like last time. As soon as the base is outside of earshot you let out a long breath and breathe in the forest air. It smells of pine and damp wood. Now that you know there’s a lake here your ears are hypertuned to pick up the sounds of the lapping water. John's hand comes to the small of your back. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much,” he says. 

“It’s okay, I know you’re busy,” you reply.

“You’ve been doing a great job helping out with all the training,” he says. You smile. 

“It’s been fun.” You’re not sure what to say. You don’t want to think about training right now, you don’t want to think about the work with Dr. Miller. You like spending time alone with John. You lean against him, his scent filling your nose as you walk around to the lake. You smile, closing your eyes letting the breeze wash over you. You’ve calmed down now, the whole thing just felt like you’ve blown it out of proportion. John moves behind you wrapping his arms around you, his hands resting on your hips. Pulling you up against him, you can feel his breathing as you lean back. His scent is calming, it complements the smells of nature. 

“Do you want to talk?” he asks after a few minutes. You let out a breath. Your eyes are still stinging from the crying. 

“If there was another omega, a better omega, would you rather be with her than me?” you ask him. 

“What? No, why would you even think that?” 

“I don’t know. I’m not exactly the perfect omega,” you say, digging your shoe in the dirt. 

He turns you in his arms so you’re face to face. “All I want is for you to be safe and happy. To do that we need to communicate,” he says. His eyes are kind. You don’t want to lie to him, but you want to upset him even less. You breathe in his scent letting it calm you. 

“I am happy,” you say. One of his hands comes to your chin, forcing you to look up at him. He hums, looking around your face. You smile up at him. He leans down and kisses you. You close your eyes, sinking into the kiss, letting his tongue press against yours. You don’t know if you’re getting any better at kissing or not, but he doesn’t complain. His hands running down your body pulling you closer to him. He pulls away, one of his hands brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“You’re so beautiful, my beautiful perfect omega.” His thumb brushes your cheek. You smile at the praise, it makes you feel all warm inside. It’s high praise from your alpha, you can tell he means it. It makes you project your scent more for him. You can’t help it, the sweet smell of strawberries cutting through the smells of nature. He smiles back at you as his nostrils flare, breathing you in.

“Can I ask you something?” you ask, nerves welling up inside you, your mouth feeling suddenly dry. He nods. 

“I want to have sex with you before my heat.” You feel yourself blushing. He smiles at you, kissing your forehead. 

"Are you sure?” he asks. You look up in his eyes, his beautiful kind eyes. You nod. 

“Okay then, we can figure something out.”  You press your face into his chest wrapping your arms around him. 

“Are you worried about your heat?” he asks. You pull your head out his chest so you can look at him. 

“I’m not worried. I know this time will be different, but I trust you.” You smile at him. You’ve never had someone you trust with you during your heats. You know people have been involved, and you’re lucky you remember so little. It’s not that you don’t remember it. It’s suppressed memories, or at least that’s what Dr. Piper calls them. It’s the nightmares that get you the most, reminding you were just a plaything for the Professor. 

“Are you nervous?” you ask. 

“No,” he says. It’s what you needed to hear. You’re not worried, he’s not worried. He’s your alpha and he’ll take care of you. You step up on your toes and kiss him. His arms pull you closer to him. There’s a cold breeze that makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. You can feel the first drops of rain. You don’t care, you want to stay in this forest forever with John. 

“C’mon we should get back before it rains,” he says, breaking away from the kiss. 

“I like the rain,” you say, keeping your arms wrapped around him. He chuckles, prying your arms off him. You move to the side of him gripping his waist. 

“John, what made you agree to claim me?” you ask as you make it back to the dirt road. 

“There's a connection I can’t explain. I know you and Dr. Montgomery say it's just biology but I think there's something more.” 

“Really?” 

“If it was just chemicals then it would be more like a need, something my body is missing. It doesn’t explain other feelings like, love or—”

“Love?” You stop your fingers gripping his waist. You look up at him, confused. Love?  

“Love, patience, caring.” He turns to look at you, his thumb brushing your cheek. 

“How do you know it’s love and not just chemicals?” you ask. You don’t know what love feels like or what it smells like. You try to smell the air but you just smell nature, pine, damp wood and hints of wild herbs in the air. You can smell John’s scent too but nothing new. You don’t even know if you can feel love. 

“Love is something you feel, it’s this feeling of wanting to care for someone, maybe more than you want to care for yourself. I think it’s more than just chemicals.” He pulls you closer to him and you keep walking. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt that before,” you admit. You think about Dr. Piper, and the Professor. The only two people who have been constants in your life, always there for good and for bad. Love for you is just something you’ve read about in books. People do stupid things for the people they love. You look up at John, his arm wrapped around your waist. He’s a good alpha, you want to believe it's more than just chemicals, more than just the biological need to find and mate with an omega. 

You wish you knew what love feels like so you would know too, if it was more than chemicals. You walk back in silence. You like spending time with John, you like feeling his hands on you, his touch, his kisses. Maybe it is love. You shake the thought away as you walk up to the barracks. When you walk into the building you see Kate, you almost don’t recognise her with her back turned but as soon as the door opens she’s looking at you both. 

“Where have you been!” she snaps. She doesn’t sound angry, just worried. 

“Kate? I thought you were supposed to be in Langley?” he says, his arm dropping from your back. She looks over at you then at John. You see Kyle and Johnny stood behind her, they look worried too. Their scent is thick in the air and it's making you nervous.

“It’s Shepard, he’s on his way here. He knows about the omega and he wants to take her.” She says. You’re holding your breath. 

“What? Take her where?” John asks. 

“Back to Professor Hale.” 

Next Dividers by Plum98 & gild-ui My rock rememberwren <3

[echantedtoon]

A Lovers' Circle (Poly Haishira x Reader) Ch12 The Heart's Not Just A Muscle P2

(Hearts conquered so far: Mitsuri, Kanae, Sanemi, Gyomei,Giyuu, and now Shinobu is getting her time to shine.

Warnings for Shinobu/Y/n getting soda thrown at them.)

Taglist: @shadyd3ar @jcrml

@tengensangel @miniverse-zen @mysteri0uz @jjamsbangtan

@the-unknown-fandom

@lavenderdropp @mimisweetz. @purplesoulsapphire

@kksmush @denkpanda18 @whomisi @lessthanimperfect @silver-rin

Remember if you want to be added to the taglist lemme know

The next morning was better. He felt less tired and more energized than last night and was able to get some house chores done. At the moment he was enjoying the peace and quiet of the calm morning. Sipping on some coffee she gave him and just all around enjoying not having to do anything else right now.

That was until the doorbell rang.

DING DONG!!

The sound of it had both look up from the kitchen table and towards the door that was clearly visible from the kitchen.After a second he sighed and slowly made himself stand up. He eventually got up to get it as she was busy compiling the footage of their work so far and labeling the dates with the right videos. She was more tech savvy than him so she'd be better at doing it anyways. So she went back to transferring most of the video files to a series of hard drives with dates and time stamps edited into the video. She'd hand over the hard drives to the professor when they turned in their project at the end of November. For now she'd get what files they already had organized along with their notes.

Giyuu's footsteps echoed in the apartment before he opened the door. From where the kitchen was and where she was sat, she could clearly see who stood in the doorway if she looked up from the screen 

"Hi, Giyuu!" The familiar voice made her pause before looking up from the screen and raising a brow at the woman bundled up smiling in the doorway. "Chilly today isn't it?"

Y/n? What was she doing here this early?..And why was she holding a giant paper bag?

He stared at her with his back to his girlfriend. "Yes." Eventually he answered slowly. "I thought we weren't going to meet until later."

"We weren't but I have something for you." She blinked as a giant paper bag was heaved up and into his arms. The paper crinkling with the shift of ownership.

"..What is this?"

"Some new food you can try. You mentioned getting a bit tired with your usual food so I made you some new dishes to try out for a few days." Her hand gestured to the large bag "You got some saba no shioyaki, tonkatsu, a container of onigiri in there somewhere, katsudon, oyakodon, a salad, and some homemade taiyaki. Oh. I also made you some salmon Daikin and there's one container of ginger tsukudani for Shinobu. They might not be very good because it's my first time making them."

"Why?"

"Your sister mentioned that it's your favorite food, and Kanae told me when I asked about-"

"No. Just..." His face slowly slipped down to the bag again. Just staring at it. "Why?"

"Oh... It's because sometimes we all just need someone to reach out and help." Purple eyes slowly widened from behind the screen. "I've noticed that you've been stressed lately and it's fine that you don't want to talk to me about it, but if you'd ever like to I'd be happy to listen to you."

And then there was a tense silence between the two of them before the wind blew making her shiver again.

"You go ahead and take today off. I'll just do the project myself today and email Shinobu the video when I'm done walking around. Relax and get better soon. Ok? If you need to call me just ask Mei or Shinobu for my number. They both have it. And don't worry about my tupperware. You can give it back to me when you're all finished. No rush."

He continued to stare but flinched as a warm hand patted one of his still holding onto the bag before she turned and began walking away from the door until she couldn't see Y/n anymore. Giyuu stood there for a while before slowly turning around back to Shinobu's still wide eyes, allowing her to see his red face. Slowly the door was closed using a leg with a click and his footfalls sounded out as he walked himself back into the kitchen.  Paper crinkled as the bag was slowly placed the bag on the table between the two.

And then they stared in silence some more. Before they exchanged looks with each other. And then slowly Giyuu reached out slowly and opened up the large bag, pulling the edge back enough to peek inside. Dark Blue eyes blinked before a hand reached inside and a second later a medium sized Tupperware container was pulled out.

Giyuu weighed it in his hands with a hum despite the pink to his face. "Still warm."

"Open it."

He did so and immediately the smell of pork and cabbage filled the air. "Tonkatsu." He looked at her.

"Well don't just sit there. You haven't had anything to eat all morning." She nodded to him. "Eat it."

Giyuu took his time turning to go dig out chopsticks from a kitchen drawer before sitting himself back down at the kitchen table in front of the warm meal. Dark Blue eyes just staring at it for a long moment before he reached inside and pulled out a small piece of the breaded pork cutlets. It smelled so good even to her just sitting there. He slowly placed it into his mouth.

Blue eyes WIDENED. Going as wide as plates as he slowly chewed on the food. Before his chewing increased as he immediately dipped back down into the container. A moment later he so sweetly held up a piece to her wanting to try it obviously. She did accepting his offer and immediately the sweet taste of pork and spices filled her mouth with the punch of a firecracker. 

Shinobu hummed. "That is actually very good."

 She watched as he just continued to eat his fill. A twinge of pleasant color rising to his cheeks. Contentment as he sighed through his nose and let a satisfied him leave him as she silently watched. How long has it been since she's seen him so happy about food? Usually neither one of them has time to really cook so it was usually leftovers, take out, or instant meals like frozen TV dinners or instant ramen. He offered something again to her but she held up a hand to stop him.

"Oh no. Those she made for you. Eat something and feel better."

"But she did make you something." He again shoved a arm into the bag and pulled out a small Tupperware container before pushing it out towards her.

She did huh? Taking it and opening it let the scents of ginger and soy sauce fill the air. Ginger tsukutani. That was her favorite food. Hm. It smelt good and it was still warm too. The pleasantly kind of warm, not too hot but not cold at all. ..It must've taken her all night to make them all of this, and she insisted on not worrying them about their project. Her hum echoed in the kitchen as Giyuu continued to eat in content. His happy stomach welcoming the rare addition of homemade goods. 

"Interesting. This might require a little more consideration."

She decided to look into it a bit more starting the following few hours. As promised, Y/n had sent her an email and with it was attached a video file of her doing a series of jumping jacks, jogging in place, and then ending in her doing yoga the rest of the hour. Gyomei's voice was heard in the background asking what-

"Honey, what take out do you want to order tonight? I can make something instead so you don't have to worry about cooking tonight."

His caring nature had her smiling. Gyomei was always so considerate of everyone around him, and since starting a relationship with Y/n he's only gotten much more happier. She was genuinely happy for him. Y/n was genuinely a very happy kind woman and Gyomei couldn't ask for a better girlfriend.  However what she wasn't expecting was for some of her own partners and even her own sister to also fall for her. 

She supposed Mitsuri was predicable and Kanae was understandable if surprising. But Sanemi? Giyuu?

Perhaps it was the curiosity that prompted her to email her back-

'Shinobu:

                  Hey. Thanks for the file! Sorry we couldn't join you today. Giyuu won't be able to join us for most of this week, so are you alright with working with me on it this week?'

It took her only a few minutes to respond back.

'Y/n:

           Hi, Shinobu! Yeah that's fine. Did you guys like the food? I have to be quick because Mei n I are watching a movie Mitsuri leant us. Yeah that works. Do you want to meet tomorrow after classes and work?'

'Shinobu:

                  I can't. I'm working late. But I'm free Tuesday afternoon. You free then?'

'Y/n: 

              Sure! I can meet you after work by the park. See u then!'

Well that certainly sounded like a good time. Alright then. Tuesday. That was when she was going to be getting a few answers to her curiosity.

******************

"Shinobu! Hi!"

She happily waved over the purple eyes woman with a big smile and a thick turtleneck sweater draped over her top. It was a bit nippy today just going into November, however she was surprised when she saw a bouncing pink haired woman next to her not so subtly giving Y/n a loving expression. 

"Hello," she greeted them both and with a curious tilt looked at Mitsuri. "I'm surprised to see you here. I don't think you're doing the project with us."

She shook her head braids swaying. "Nope! Obi's going meditating with Mei and my dance classes were cancelled after the teacher sprained her ankle." She gushed looking at them both. "So I had nothing to do but Y/n invited me to come along with you guys!!"

"I hope that's ok." Y/n tilted her head. "I'd really like to get to know Mei's family better, and I genuinely like hanging out with you guys. I figured Mitsuri could film while you take notes again so we're not trying to juggle everything ourselves."

Ah right. Sunday and Monday Y/n had to both do the project herself because Giyuu and herself were busy, and she had to finish compiling everything into thumb drives IN order with labels and dates along with her notes. Honestly she was surprised when she got a second email Monday night with another email but you were doing the project with them so it made sense.

"No problem at all. I think the extra hand will be very useful!"

"Oh that reminds me. I made you both copies of class notes from today and yesterday!" She gestured to the backpack slung over her shoulders. "Figured you'd be needing them too."

"I appreciate that. So what exactly are we doing today?"

"I figured we'd just walk around the park again. It's easy enough and we could go for some food afterwards. My treat!" She happily smiled at Mitsuri who lit up. "MacDougal's sounds like a good place to get burgers. Five burgers for ten dollars is a good deal and I can get you ten for only twenty dollars!"

"Oh you don't have to do that for me!"

"I want to! You're always letting me use your employee discount at the cafe so it's only fair! You're a kind person!" Mitsuri squealed out in delight clutching her cheeks. "And you deserve it!" She squealed out more excitedly bouncing on her heels. A sight that even made Shinobu smile wider. "Of course I'd get something for you too Shinobu."

She held up a hand to her. "Oh no. I couldn't ask you to buy me anything."

"Not even one of their famous cappuccinos?"

"...Ok. A coffee then." 

That only pulled out a few giggles from the both of them before they actually got to work. Shinobu taking notes as Mitsuri bounced beside her as she wrote happily filming as Y/n walked. The crisp cold air chilling them the closer to December. 

"Hey, Shinobu. How's Kanao doing?" The sudden name drop of her baby sister was something that had gotten said woman to snap up in question. 

After a moment she looked back down. "She's doing fine."

"I hope she likes her dress! I bet she'll look beautiful in it!"

Ah yes. Her dress. The one for almost three months Kanao had been eyeing every time she passed it on her way to home and school. It was rather pretty but expensive so that's why it took their parents so long to save up for it. Only problem was that the old crab in charge of running the store had refused to sell it to them once she found out that a teenager was planning on using it for a dance. Even denied Kanae when she offered to buy it instead. She thinks that she hated children but whatever the circumstances were..

Had Y/n not gone in to get her the dress, Kanao would have come back rather more disappointed. Instead she got to experience putting on the dress at home and smiling as their mother INSISTED on taking pictures for her scrapbook. Imagine her surprise when Kanae relayed the tale to her much later...Which begged the question-

"If you'd like, I'll reimburse you for the dress. It's not a problem."

"Oh no. It's perfectly alright." She smiled wider. "It wasn't fair she couldn't get it in the first place. I'm just glad she's happy now."

"You didn't have to help her."

"I know. I didn't do it because I had to, but because I wanted to. I'm just sorry Kanae had to deal with Jake after all that."

"How noble of you!," Mitsuri gushed nearly fumbling with the phone.

Shinobu only hummed again as she continued her work. Although she didn't miss the way f/c orbs seemed to linger on her a little bit longer than normal. She brushed it off as her waiting to continue the conversation with her.

"Did you like the food I made you?"

"Yes. The ginger tzukutani was delicious," she said bring honest because..well it WAS delicious. "Thank you. How did you ever find out?"

"Sanemi was talking to me about my ohagi recipe and Kanae mentioned some of your favorite foods. I hope you don't mind."

Ah. Kanae. Of course she'd mention it. 

"Not at all. Like I said it's delicious."

"What about the other things?"

"Giyuu let me have a piece of his tonkatsu. I think you might've used a bit too much breading but otherwise it was good."

"His? I made those for both of you because you were hungry."

Shinobu paused immediately. Feet stopping in motion and purple eyes snapping up. Mitsuri and Y/n had also stopped in their tracks to look at her. Silence resumed other than the distant ambience of others in the park around them. For a long moment no one spoke before Shinobu blinked.

"... Hungry?"

"I don't mean you're starving," Y/n explained calmly, "But Giyuu mentioned that  he can get worn out from the repeated pattern in foods he eats, but I've been noticing that the same happens to you. All you ever seen to consume is caffeine and I've noticed that you seem to skip meals... That's not exactly very good for you."

Purple eyes widened at her. Stunned by the observation but stunned still as she pointed at her. 

"Even now I can tell you're hungry. You haven't eaten anything yet today or barely anything at all. I know the look from my job. You gotta be alert and on look out for things with kids all the time. So after this, I'm getting you something to eat. And make sure you eat some of what I gave you guys later. You shouldn't be skipping meals."

'You shouldn't be skipping meals.'

Now where had she heard that before? Oh right. From nearly every one of her partners and sister. Mostly from Hinatsuru, Kanae, and Rengoku however. No one could've really known that she was doing that unless they were a close family or friend or very observant. The latter stunning her by surprise for a moment.

"...If that's what you want."

"Good! Because as long as we're doing the project together, I'm not going to let you two eat anything bland! I already got some recipes for o-taro sashimi and homemade mochi I want you both to try too!" Y/n smiled before reaching out to pat Shinobu's shoulder. 

"Hhhhhaaahh!! Do you know how to make okonomiyaki?!"

Y/n giggled at Mitsuri's nearly drooling expression. "I made it for Mei yesterday for lunch. If you'd like, I can make you some tonight and you can pick it up tomorrow at the daycare."

"KYAA!! YOU'RE SO KIND Y/N-CHAN!!  I COULD HUG YOU RIGHT NOW-!!"

"Let's finish up the project for today first. We're a few minutes behind now so we'll have to walk a little bit longer to make up for lost time."

Things thankfully got back on track and even if they were a little behind. She'd have to edit the footage later before adding it to the database.  Although purple eyes kept stealing glances at f/c eyes as she politely listened to Mitsuri babble on about her dance classes and favorite positions of ballet. But soon the hour was done, project for the day was finished, and appetites were heavy. It was near the end of the day now and it was only a little bit until the sun went down. So it would be a good time to get dinner. 

The local MacDougal's burger place was only a twelve minute walk away from the park and the smell of grilled burgers was enough to entice all three of them towards the fast food joint. The little bell above the door rang and as the three of them walked into the establishment. No one was in there except for a middle aged woman frowning and sitting by herself eating what looked like chicken tenders, and the cashier who was boredly spraying the front counter before wiping it down with a cloth. 

Although he looked up when he heard chiming from the bell. Dark blue eyes widened at the three familiar figures walking inside.

"HI, GIYUU!!," Mitsuri greeted loudly waving a full arm as the two women filed in behind her. "OH MY GOSH YOU'RE STILL HERE?!"

Said black haired man wore an orange and yellow uniform shirt with the letters MD stitched into a breast pocket and a visor was on his head. He watched as his partner, his girlfriend, and Y/n walked in. Three beautiful women smiling and waving at him making his cheeks go a light pink before making eye contact with Shinobu and slowly smiling a little. 

"Hi, Giyuu." Y/n greeted him next stopping in front of the register. "You look like about ready to close. Is this a bad time?"

He cleared his throat to not come off as flustered before speaking. "Not really. My shift ends in another hour and a half. I'm cleaning up before the night shift comes by. It's been a slow day so I'm almost done. I already swept and mopped everywhere."

"Are you alone?"

"No. The cook is cleaning up one of the grills. Did you three want to order?"

"Yes please! You still taking orders right?" He nodded before putting down said objects and standing in front of the register looking at her expectantly. "Can I get a two large strawberry milkshakes with two of those five burgers for ten dollars deals? With two double bacon burgers cola, and a cappuccino?"

"Would you like fries with all of those burgers?"

"Yes!"

"Your total is fifty two ninety seven," he stated after pressing a few buttons on the register as Y/n was already holding up her card. "I'll get the cook to work on it right away."

"Thanks, Giyuu! Did you like the food I left you?'

Again a deeper pink flushed over him as he nodded. "Yes. I had the taiyaki for my lunch today...T-Thank you."

"No problem. Let me know when you're done and I'll make you and Shinobu more!"

Giyuu again stared at her pink as Mitsuri giggled and Shinobu rose a brow but soon the food was paid for and being a fast food joint, the food was fastly brought out to them. Mitsuri wasted no time laying way through the two milkshakes and ten pairs of burgers and fries brought out just for her! Honestly Shinobu thought she'd jump across the table just to kiss Y/n for getting her such a big meal. Herself? Well Y/n had given her a look until she began eating the admittedly delicious food making her smile and only then did she start eating herself. About halfway through her burger she slid Mitsuri her own fries as she had already finished with her large order. Happily accepting them before also wolfing them down. 

"I'll go throw away the trash."

And so it was offered by Y/n as they all got up to leave. Well they were leaving, Shinobu was going to wait for Giyuu's shift to end before walking back to their shared apartment. But that was when IT struck. 

"Excuse me. There was something wrong with my food!" 

A rude sounding lady's voice cut through the air as they turned. Y/n being the closest to the voice dumping the wrappers into a trashcan sat between their table and the register. Standing at the register was a the woman from before. Standing before the counter arms crossed holding a cup of whatever she had been drinking, feet tapping, and scowl on her face. Glaring at Giyuu who blinked.

"...Oh. What's wrong?"

"I ordered a ten piece chicken tender meal!," she practically screeched into Giyuu's ever somber face. "There was only nine pieces! And they weren't cooked all the way!"

"Oh. Well if you return the meal I can see what's wrong and maybe we can get you a new one?," he offered.

"Just give me a refund on it!", she demanded.

"I can't do that unless I have proof of the food being incomplete and you show me a receipt."

"THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!!" She wailed throwing her arms to her side fists balled up. "I WAS FORCED TO EAT A MEDIOCRE MEAL NOT EVEN FINISHED AND YOU WON'T EVEN FUCKING GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK?!"

"Wait.." His brow rose. "So the meal was bad..but you still ate it? And you have no receipt but you still want a refund?...I can't do that."

"WHAT?!"

"I don't make the rules, I just work here."

"I WANT THE MANAGER!!"

A tired sigh escaped Giyuu's mouth. "He's not here today. If you want, I can give you corporates phone number and you can file a complaint with them."

A Vien popped in her forehead as she growled. "HOW DARE YOU?! I SPEND HUNDREDS OF MY OWN MONEY HERE YOU'RE LUCKY TO BE GETTING MY BUSINESS!!"

Giyuu tired deadpanned face didn't change as she fired insults and curses at him. However he did notice when a smaller hand tapped her on the shoulder. The Karen snapped around so fast they were all expecting her neck to make a cracking sound as she whirled around to Shinobu who still smiled at her.

"I think it's really too unladylike to be having a child like tantrum.~"

"Who the hell are you?! Mind your own dam business!"

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I can't do that. You see you are now they say acting like a bitch right now."

"HOW DARE YOU?! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!"

"Yes, yes. How dare you? Who's your manager? Do you know who I am? I'm calling the police. The usual Karen threats and questions." The woman trembled more with rage. "My you're entitled and extremely rude. I may not know who you are but I can make an educated guess.~" She smiled pointing at her. "You're an old bitch who thinks the world revolves around her so much that your gravitational pull sucks up everyone's time and energy.~" Her friendly tone and face still did waver other than closing her eyes. "You know this can be classified as harassment which as you know is against the law." F/c orbs widened as the arm holding the Karen's cup was pulled back. "So why don't you leave before someone actually calls the police on yo-"

S P L A S H!!

Dark liquid and ice went flying through the air. Sticky and syrupy no doubt some kind of too sweet soda from the fast food place. It all went flying through the air and splattered against the warmth of both wool fabric and soft skin with a splash sound. Mitsuri gasped loudly covering her mouth. Giyuu went wide eyed in surprise. The cook popped their head from the back hearing the noises. And Shinobu blinked at what happened.

Y/n spat out the too sweetened taste of cold root beer with a disgusted face. "PFFT!! UGH!!" With a sleeve she reached up in an attempt to get the sticky liquid off her face. "Man that's cold!"

Giyuu turned to the other worker. "Call the police! My girlfriends were assaulted!"

That's when the woman attempted to run, but was quickly snatched up by Mitsuri wrapping her arms around her middle squeezing hard enough to pin her arms to her sides before with a shrill shriek leaned back to lift the woman helplessly kicking her feet out in the air.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE YOU BRUTE!!," she shouted back with a frown. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR HURTING Y/N-CHAN!!"

"GUYS!! I'm not hurt! It's just some soda."

"That she assaulted you with!," Giyuu shouted over the incoherent screaming of the woman. Already reaching for the phone. "If it had been hot coffee you could've gotten incredibly hurt! I'm not going to sit back and let another selfish person get away with hurting you."

"YEAH! ME NEITHER! CITIZENS ARREST!!"

"It's really not that big of a deal. I've gotten stuff spilt on me me before. Tell them, Shinobu.....Shinobu?"

Y/n turned to the silently stunned woman in question however Shinobu just stared at her processing what exactly had been done.

Y/n...had gotten between her and the crazy Karen.

Her nice turtleneck was now all set down the front with cold root beer that had been meant for her. A sleeve was still wiping at her face which was also splashed by the unexpected attack from the crazy woman. That...That was going to be her. That was supposed to be her. But she had stepped out between the two to take the brunt of the attack. What if that HAD been hot coffee?! She would've been severely burnt or worse!! What if had been something else just as worrisome?! Or what if it had been a punch?! Y/n continued to stare at the stunned face of Shinobu wiping at her face and neck.

"Shinobu? Hey, Shinobu!" She waved a hand in front of her face making her jolt. "Are you ok?! You're not hurt are you?" She shook her head no and Y/n sighed. "That's a relief. Thank goodness no one was seriously hurt."

"I called the police. They're on their way. Press charges when they get here."

Her head turned to Giyuu. "You seriously called them?"

It was all really a blur of voices and screams. Long story short the police did come back and made Mitsuri drop the Karen who immediately demanded that they arrest every single person in the place and threatened to sue them then sue the MacDougal's company and then she the police for not immediately 'doing their job' and had yadda yadda. Typical Karen shrieking. They explained their side and luckily there was security cameras for them to look at. Another long story short, she was taken away cussing and shrieking in handcuffs and Giyuu had to go get a mop to clean up the soda spilt all over the floor.

"Are you ok, Y/n?," Mitsuri asked concerned as Shinobu wiped her face down with some wet napkins.

"For the hundredth time yes. It's just soda. I'll just change and take a shower when I get home. Nothing some water and soap can't fix."

They still fussed over her face. "You shouldn't have done that. I could've handled it myself. And what if it had been something like hot coffee?"

"I couldn't just stand by and not do anything. You're like a friend to me." Shinobu blinked with a hum as she smiled. "And as I said I do want to get to know you guys better. So don't worry about it. Everyone's alright and that's all that matters. I'm just happy YOU'RE ok, Shinobu."

Shinobu once again blinked before turning to Mitsuri who again giggled much to Y/N's confusion. "What did I tell you guys?~"

"Tell them..what?"

"Oh nevermind. Let's get you home so you can properly clean up."

[headlessjest]

How about some romantic stuff!! Some of y'all need your romance.

Hanging out HCs

Ft: Hank, Deimos, Sanford, Jedediah, Tricky, Sheriff, 2BDamned, Phobos, and Auditor.

Hank:

・I think y'all would probably just stay home.

・You both just had a very stressful mission, so why not relax back at the apartment.

・They'll probably watch TV with you with the few tv stations Nevada can have.

・Cuddling is something he can do with you too. Just on bed or on the couch and just cuddle.

・There will be a couple times where he just lays on the ground with you and wonder what the hell happened to this place.

・"(Name)... Thank you.."

Deimos:

・Going out and eating Burger Gil's!

・Deimos just wants to enjoy his favorite food place with you.

・This can also be an excuse to to eat at Gil's in general, but it's nice to do it with you.

・When y'all are done at eating at Gil's, maybe a quick trip to the bakery.

・He threw up the Burger Gil's on the way there so you had to carry him back home.

・"That burger was sure good, but you're just as good."

Sanford:

・Alright, endless stary night, blanket, and you two. That's how it's gonna go.

・Just you two hanging out on a hill and looking up on the stary night, relaxing.

・There will be a few times bandits will try and get you two, but that's why y'all brought guns to this evening.

・Other than getting interrupted by bandits and a couple of zeds, this hangout is wonderful for the both of you.

・You accidentally fell asleep during this, but Sanford didn't mind carrying you back.

・"Thank you for this time, sweetie.."

Jedediah:

・Going scavenger hunting.

・Jedediah surprisingly enjoys collecting stuff. It calms him down, and doing it with you makes him extra calm.

・You'll probably find a old coin or a rock with a cool texture and look to it and dash back to Jeb to show him.

・He also sometimes finds cool looking rocks and gives them to you. Like penguins.

・After going around and finding some cool stuff, you and Jeb head back home and organize all the stuff you both found.

・"These are beautiful, darling.. Just like you."

Tricky:

・Y'all go partying.

・I think y'all would also listen to your both favorite songs when partying. (His being all ICP songs and the chicken dance remix.)

・I think after the partying stuff is over with, y'all kinds just head back home and relax after the long night.

・If you get overwhelmed at the party, Tricky will notice and try to find a way to calm you down.

・Other than that y'all actually have a great time.

・"CL0WN L0V3S Y0U!!!1!1!"

Sheriff:

・I think y'all would hang out at a nice bar. (If possible that is..)

・I think he took you to the bar in the first place because it was the easiest place to go without him freaking the fuck out and being horrified.

・Also, because he's been busy lately and wanted to spend time with you.

・He might also get a little drunk from drinking too much.

・You also had to drag him back home.

・"Darlin'... When do you get so beautiful/handsome?"

2BDamned:

・Y'all also stay home.

・He just wants to relax with you and just hang out in bed. Nothing much really.

・He also is just a little stressed with everything, so relaxing with you seems like a perfect thing for the time being.

・I think y'all would also watch a quick movie for fun. Like a older movie from the later 90s and early 2000s.

・Other than that, relaxing with you makes his day better, no matter what.

・"This means a lot to me, (Name).. Thank you.."

Phobos:

・I think he would dance with in his office.

・The red lighten room and the slow jazz playing in the background, just you two slow dancing for the joy of it.

・Phobos made sure that no one would bother you both during this. I mean, quite literally.

・I think during this, you might doze off a bit from the slow atmosphere.

・Phobos does notice this and y'all get ready for bed.

・"Tonight was lovely.. We should do this again.."

Auditor:

・I think y'all just hang out and watch cat videos all night long.

・Most romantic thing I've ever heard.

・I think you both would also hold eachothers hand during too. Auditors love language is physical touch. (Somehow..)

・Another thing is that whenever you both see a cat that reminded of you both, you would point it out.

・This also made you both question about getting a cat.

・"Hm, a fur baby seems nice."

I'm absolutely shaking rn. Ate an entire tub of coffee icecream, also mixed with the excitement of watching the fnaf movie tomorrow!!!!

-Jester

[nosesitter]

Boss!Joel Miller

3.3k words

boss!joel you’re out on the town, looking slutty, 6 vodka crans in, your tits are practically out, walking all sloppy, talking very loud and who do you run into? Your very hot boss Joel who’s only ever seen you in business attire.

a/n: I think I have a thing for having sex in trucks this is second time I’ve written about that. I love some mean Joel love me some mean men that I can make cum and then they start acting right. Going to be writing part 3 of helpful Joel miller just need to think some more. Pls interact, reblog, comment and tell me what you think I love feedback!!

⚠️: mean!joel, name calling(baby,slut,whore), reader is drunk as a skunk, alcohol consumption, public semi voyeur, p in v, spanking with a belt!!, choking, finger sucking, sex in a truck, Joel has a truck that has those blinding headlights, thick dick Joel, SMALL cum play, m!receiving oral, swallowing cum

As the seconds slowly count down to 4 o’clock you’re sitting at your desk thinking about how you’re going to lie to your boss so you can leave work early, it’s your friends birthday and you just want to go home get ready and pregame. It’s not a problem for you to lie, but to Joel? Nah, something about your boss makes it extremely hard, seeing him just makes you want to tell the truth, get on your knees and beg for his forgiveness. Your boss, Joel Miller, is extremely attractive, always wearing the tightest button down shirts to show off his broad shoulders and sculpted muscles in his arms. It’s very contradicting whenever you walk into his office and he’s just man spreading, yelling questions about the assignments he’s given you. Slacks bunching around his thighs you just wanna lay over his lap and have him spank you until your skin is blistering red, begging him to stop.

As you’re sitting there, 5 minutes into the new hour, trying to think of lies and finishing up the latest project that Mr. Miller has given you your office phone rings without having to look at the caller ID you know it’s your boss. “Yes sir?”

“Come into my office we have to talk about your recent turn in.” The last assignment you’ve turned into him was about 30 pages long and contained all his business contacts organized by the most recent ones he’s worked with. You tried to organize it more better but Joel was on vacation so you used your best judgement with handling it but sounds like it was wrong.

As you walk to his office you stop by a big glass window. You can see your reflection and take this time to straighten yourself out. A lot of the other ladies in the department you worked in wore very low cut blouses and tight pencil skirts. You just wear an all black blouse, slacks, and cardigan. He has made comments about the way you dress, especially here in Texas he almost expected you to show skin around the office just like the others but they do that for his attention. You already have his attention unbeknownst to you.

���Just come in!” He bellows out from the other side of the door. You push the door open and there he is sitting behind his desk for a change while a younger looking man stands next to him. “Please take a seat.” He says through gritted teeth, he seems upset. The younger one begins to talk.

“My names Tommy, I’m Joel’s younger brother. We were just going over the assignment I gave Joel last week and looks like it wasn’t done by Joel it was done by you.” Tommy says coming over to sit right next to you. Everyone in the office knows Joel slacks off, but turns out his brother and superior didn’t know about that. Your gaze shifts to the older Mr. Miller and he’s just rolling his eyes at his brothers choice of words.

“It was fantastic! I absolutely loved how you set it up and so did a lot of people higher than me.” He tells you happily causing the anxiety in your stomach to settle and your shoulders to relax as you soak in the compliment from the younger nicer brother. He leans forward and sets his hand on your thigh.

“We’d love to get you up here in your own office, working right alongside Joel and I.” His brother is also very attractive but he doesn’t have that ruggedness and frightening edge like Joel. Tommy’s thumb is rubbing small circles into the side of your thigh. Joel notices this.

“We can get you moved in right now-“ The older one begins talking again but you cut him off. He also notices that.

“My grandma needs me to help get her from the hospital-“ you stand from your seat and try to distance yourself from the angry looking older brother.

“Please go, I’m pretty sure we can get someone to help Joel move your things into the office next door.” Tommy is very nice, handsy, but nice nonetheless. You begin to excuse yourself from the room but not before looking back at Mr. Miller who waves you off angrily from behind his happier younger brother.

——

It’s 9 o’clock by the time you finish getting ready. Knocking out some errands beforehand so you’ve had time to relax before getting absolutely hammered. You’ve decided on some tight black pants and a black lace corset. Definitely a change from your normal clothes but you’re celebrating so you can look slutty for the night.

Grabbing your wallet and phone you head out to the Uber you’ve ordered and head over to the strip of night clubs near your apartment. When you get there you can see all your friends at the first club on the block. With that y’all start the night off.

——

It’s 30 minutes after midnight and half of your friends have gone home. It’s just you, the birthday girl, and her friend. They keep talking about wanting to go home but you’re at that point where you could have another drink but you know it’ll be a bad idea but it sounds so fun.

“I’m going to another club!” You’re slurring your words so drunk you can’t even think about anything else. As you’re stumbling to the next club you hear your name being shouted probably your friends yelling for you. You show the bouncer your ID and once again your name is being called from outside. Ignoring it you head right in and straight to the bar

“Vodka cran!” You yell to the bartender and he goes right to making the drink. As you’re standing there waiting for the drink an arm comes around your waist. You follow the hand to the body and it’s Mr. Joel Miller. You stand there for a moment and just stare at him. He’s wearing a silk shirt the first three buttons undone, gold necklaces sitting so pretty on his neck god damn he looks fucking good. No one breaks eye contact as the bartender puts the drink in front of you along with the bill. Joel sets his debit card right on the counter then leans forward, his beard scratching the side of your cheek, lips right on your ear. It feels wrong but it sends electricity through your body. You’ve been caught by him.

“How’s grandma?” You can hear the condescending tone in his voice. He’s enjoying seeing you act dumbfounded by his appearance here. You grab your drink and just walk past him heading to the patio best believe he’s following behind. Feeling the cold night air hit your face to take a breath and a big sip of your drink to regain the drunk confidence you desperately need to get through this.

“This definitely looks bad and I’m sor-“ He’s not paying attention to anything you’re saying but instead staring you down with intense sexual hunger. All those times he’s yelled and put the fear of god into you for not getting work done faster fades away as he sees your nipples poking from behind the lace of your top.

“You should wear stuff like this at work, I’d be in your new office everyday baby.” His fingers reaching out to touch the lace that’s stuck to your chest. He knows what he’s saying and doing is highly inappropriate and you could definitely get him fired for this but you have to admit the attention sends a lighting bolt of feelings to your core causing you to clench around nothing. You take another big sip of your drink.

“You man spreading while yelling at me is inappropriate, how can you scold me and not expect me to feel turned on seeing you like that.” People walking all around pushing the both of y’all closer together. His right hand moves forward to grab your waist. His touch causing goosebumps to rise of your skin from excitement, brown eyes blown out with lust he can’t keep his eyes off your chest. He takes the nearly drink from your hand and finishes it off, he sets it to the side and leads you closer to the speakers, you can feel the bass in your chest and your tongue in your throat as Joel takes your hand with his big one. The both of you facing each other standing near the back under red flashing lights. He guides your arms around his neck, your fingers tangling in his damp neck hair.

One of his hands searching for your bare skin, the spot between your corset and band of your pants, you feel extremely hot he can definitely feel the heat radiating off your body as his other hand moves down from the strap on your shoulder and over the curve of your fleshy breast poking out of the lace cup. You can feel yourself clench around nothing again the feeling you have in your clit is numbing. You want nothing but his big tanned hand on you rubbing circles while his salt and pepper beard scratches your neck.

The music is so loud it’s deafening only focusing on each others wondering hands. A bold feeling probably from the alcohol comes hurling up from you, causing you to pull yourself into Joel’s lips. There’s no hesitation from Joel whatsoever he welcomes your cranberry stained lips and vodka flavored tongue into his mouth. Both his hands sneak into the band of your pants and over the curve of your ass brushing past your thong his hands so greedy for skin to skin contact he just wants to bruise your skin, hot flesh spilling through the gaps in his fingers as he kneads your ass. Pressing yourself onto him you can feel his erection stop against your zipper. He feels extremely thick you couldn’t imagine him inside of you.

You break away from his mouth and attach your lips to his neck, salty from sweat you couldn’t care less. You can feel the vibrations in his neck from him groaning, it makes you excited and you immediately want to hear more. Grabbing his hand again you head to the exit door that leads out into an alley. The cold air hits your skin and you catch your breath but not for long as Joel pulls you out the alley and down the street into a parking garage.

He skips the elevator and pushes the emergency stairs door open and leans back against it to stop anyone else from opening it. Joel’s hands go straight for his belt pulling the buckle off then pulls the whole thing out from the loops with one forceful pull.

“Pull your pants down and put your hands on the rail.” There’s no doubt you’re wet. You can feel yourself spill over the small surface of your thong and onto your thighs it’s all too much and he hasn’t even began to touch you fully. You comply without a second thought pulling your pants down under your thighs. Joel hissed at the sight before him he leans forward from the door and walks closer to pull at the top of your thong causing the strap to snap back onto you. His hand coming down and grabbing your ass, jiggling the skin with the contact. He had you so relaxed with his touch that you almost forgot about the belt in his hand. Until he spanked you with it. The sound of leather on skin makes an echo all through the stairwell. A soundless scream leaving your lips it brings you back to reality. Brings you back to your dick boss with his hands on you leaving welts on your skin in a public place.

“I’d rather have you over my lap but that can wait till next time, sweetheart.” He grabs your pants and pulls them back up for you then motions for you to start walking. As you walk out of the stairwell and into the more public eye Joel digs in his pocket for his key and points it at his truck. The bright lights come on causing to to turn your head and shield your eyes. Before you can touch the door handle Joel sneaks up behind you and wraps his arms around your neck turning the both of y’all around.

“Let’s not waste any time, get in the backseat with me baby.” He pulls you back onto him and his hard cock then opens the back passenger door no one can see what you’re doing but they can definitely see the pairs of feet standing over each other under the door. His right hand going to your neck making your head fall back onto his shoulder. Left hand is heading for your screaming core. Your clit begging for his rough fingers to rub circles into it.

“Fucking slut, look a’cha dripping for me?” He’s so damn cocky, having you in a position like this and still being so mean. His middle finger moving from your clit to dip down and gather more of your wetness. He growls into your neck as his two middle fingers push into you causing you to moan out and clench around him. Joel moves his hand from your neck to your lips shoving his middle finger into your mouth making you suck it. Tongue swinging around the digit. His two fingers curving up into the squishy part of you, so much stimulation at one time you squeeze your thighs together feeling his hand squish in between them.

Both of his hands rip away from your body and push you up into his backseat, your body falls backward onto the seat he uses this to take your pants off tossing them behind you and then climbing into the truck. He slams the door and squeezes past you his hands going quick for his zipper. As you’re sitting up you look at his cock that he’s pulled out already, so girthy, looking at it sobers you up a little. His head leaned back against the seat, eyes hooded as his hand strokes himself. Pulling his hand away he opens the palm and spits right into it not breaking eye contact with you.

“C’mon baby, hop on.” He looks intoxicating like this, so desperate looking begging for you to be wrapped around him. Swinging your leg over his lap and lowering over him he holds himself steady as you sink onto him. You look at his face as you lower but he’s looking at your hungry cunt stretch over him making his cock disappear into you. Your clit makes contact with the patch of black and gray pubic hair and it makes your sensitive clit tingle. You can hear his legs unstick from the leathery seats as he lowers down to hammer into you. Bracing for the beating your pussy is about to get you grab his shoulder and the handle above the door.

“Princess too good to bounce on my cock, havin’ me do all the work.” His accent so thick he’s staring to slur his words together. His hand slaps your ass as he stops moving and just lays there.

“Ride me don’t make me ask again I won’t be nice.” You don’t dare disobey him you need to cum you lay back onto the drivers seat and move your hips in slow motions, he’s buried deep inside of you the tip of his cock hitting deep squishy areas and the girth of him stretching you so nicely. It’s steaming inside his truck precipitation all over the windows, every once and a while a car passing by shining their headlights into the truck no doubt seeing what’s going on even shielded behind the drivers seat.

Joel’s hands pulling the cups of your top down ripping the lace in the process. His fingers pinching and pulling your nipples. This causes you to clench around him. A intense chilling sensation ripping right through your lower abdomen.

“Oh shit my cock poking through stomach .” Joels a mumbling mess he can’t even make coherent sentences with you clenching so hard around him. His warm hand goes flat above your pubic bone as he presses on himself with your organs. You lean forward, hands going to his cheeks and lips smashing into his, and begin to use his cock for your own pleasure. The truck is shaking no doubt, people walking past drunkly to their cars cheering as they see steam covered windows and your loud moans coming from the vehicle.

Your thighs are shaking as you bounce on him moaning through the pain as your knees begin to buckle your hands grabbing his hair and pulling it in different directions. “I’ma cum inside you!” He’s loud, breathy and moaning his words into your skin. You can feel him gush inside of you feeling him coat your insides with his seed. It happened so hard you can taste the feeling of his spent in your throat. Bodies sticking to each other, you’re dripping wet causing his leg hair to stick and mat against his thighs. He leans forward and grabs a water bottle from the middle console behind you.

You lift yourself from his lap and wince as he falls out of you. Sitting right next to him you can feel the mixture of each others cum dripping out of you. “Not on my leather seats, whore.” Joel says and moves his hands over to slip a finger inside of you pushing the combination of spent back into you. His finger having no effect on your stretched walls the way his dick did. You see his limp dick twitch a little in his lap and decide to give it a kiss. Opening your mouth and giving the tip an open mouth kiss you can taste the tang of the both of y’all on your tongue. Joel gives you a little groan as you mouth lowers over him cleaning his cock off. He twitches inside your mouth as he hardens again. His body so sensitive to his release that he begins to clench his thighs and jerk his cock deeper into your mouth.

P-please, baby stop ill cum again I know it.” You decide to push him to his limit after all those times of him giving you stupid work that was his all along you keep sucking hallowing your cheeks and swirling your tongue around his shaft. It’s not long before his hand presses on the back of your head and he’s sputtering what little he had left into your mouth. He’s gasping now, immediately soft in your mouth you pop off and swallow what’s in your mouth.

“When you come in Monday morning I’m bending you over my desk and eating you out.” You sit there proud with yourself and your actions and for once excited to go into work.

————🥴🤭😈

reblog, like, and validate me🫶🏻

0711

[mediocrecowboyhat]

Set in sand - Chapter 24

We mark the year 1934 and a peculiar journal falls into your hands. It's telling the tale of an outlaw and the downfall of a gang. Some pages are torn and others are downright unreadable, but nevertheless, you are still able to make out some parts of the tragic story.

With the help of a certain time traveler friend of yours, will you be able to save the author of the journal or will you be the cause for his demise?

Previous chapter - Next chapter

Word count: 2.9k

TW: end-game spoilers will be mentioned very early on in the story, 18+ MDNI, sexual themes, violence, gore, death, misogynistic themes (anything that happens in the game as well), she/her pronouns

"We can blow that building up, alright, but we'd need to get inside. The pillars looked unstable to me.", Hosea explains into the round and everyone nods to themselves.

Dutch, Arthur and you are sitting on the balcony upstairs and listening to Hosea's plan regarding the distraction for the bank heist. He hasn't confided you in the finer details, wanting to have you present when he talks to the others.

"Didn't you say that the place was locked?", Arthur chimes in, scratching his cheek. The beard is a bit more visible now and you feel your lips curl up ever so slightly.

"It is, but I know how to get the keys and this is where you come on in.", the older man answers and his eyes land on you. "You said you knew him from before. I think, you should organize a meeting and get the keys from him."

It makes absolute sense for you to take the initiative in this, yes, but the weight of it makes you anxious. "Are you suggesting, that I steal them?"

"Precisely."

Everyone's gazes are on you and you feel an uncomfortable heat creep up into your face, but you mask your nervousness. Stealing something this small shouldn't put such pressure on you, but given the reason and importance behind it makes it a huge task.

"I can do that.", you finally manage to bring out and a pleased smile forms on Dutch's face.

"Perfect then!", he exclaims, throwing his arms into the air. "Whatever you need for the job, Miss, don't hesitate to ask. This is of great importance, after all."

You nod at his words and listen with only one ear as the conversation moves to another topic. The cogs and gears in your head are working on overdrive while you think of a good way to betray James yet again. The thought alone sends an unpleasant shiver down your spine.

As you get up from the chair to leave the balcony, Arthur falls into step beside you. His blue eyes fixate you from the side. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Tilting your head slightly, you contemplate his offer. Having a competent gun like him there would definitely make you feel more relaxed, but James isn't too fond of the outlaw. His presence might compromise your plans.

"No, that would be a bad idea.", you answer and shoot him a look that pretty much says 'after everything you've done to the poor man'.

Arthur immediately raises his hands in defence and shakes his head. "Hey, that ain't my fault. It was just one of 'em things."

"Sure. It's always one of them things with you." Your voice comes out more joking than upset and it earns you an easy and quick smirk from him. Then it vanishes as soon as it had appeared and is being replaced by a serious look.

"But you do need someone there with you. If things go bad..." Arthur leaves the rest unspoken and you nod.

"I know, I know. I already have someone in mind for the job."

"You do? Who?"

He follows your knowing gaze until his eyes land on a certain blonde woman, who is inspecting one of her guns at the moment. An amused scoff leaves his throat and he hooks his thumbs into his weapon belt.

"Sadie?", he ask, already knowing your answer.

"Exactly."

You wouldn't want anyone else riding with you (besides Arthur of course) and you trust her to have your back if things get ugly, which they most likely won't. Besides, you promised her to take her with you on a job at some point and James has seen her face at the saloon. It might be suspicious to bring someone new.

"Will you be leavin' now?", Arthur wants to know and leans against one of the pillars, crossing his legs.

"If she's ready, yes. I just want it to be over as quickly as possible."

A sigh leaves your lips afterwards and you run a hand over your face. Hopefully you all will be able to leave this place for good, once the heist is done with. And hopefully you won't run into James when he notices your betrayal.

"Are you sure you don't want me there? I'm not questionin' Sadie's competence of course.", the outlaw says and takes your hand in his. There is a certain hesitancy in that action, as if he's not sure you will let him touch you. "It's just that, this job is not not dangerous."

"I'm fine, don't worry. It's not the first time I'm stealing something."

And James won't suspect anything anyways.

Before pulling your hand away, you give his a gentle and reassuring squeeze. A smile forms on your face, but it doesn't quite reach your eyes. Arthur's fingers brush over yours as you turn away and walk towards Sadie.

Something flickers in her eyes when she lifts her head to meet your gaze, smirking. "Hello there."

"Are you busy?", you ask and she lifts her eyebrow in curiosity.

"Not really.", she answers, her voice laced with anticipation. She knows from your tone and expression that something is up.

"So remember how I told you that I'll take you with me on a job? Are you still interested?"

The woman's smirk turn into a wide grin and excitement washes over her face as she jumps up to her feet. "Are ya seriously askin' me that? When are we leavin'?"

"I was thinking about right now.", you answer, chuckling.

Next thing you know, she's dragging you towards the horses and you explain the plan to her during the ride. A thoughtful hum can be heard from her direction.

"And this guy isn't suspectin' anythin'?" Wariness laces her tone, but you don't share it. Rather confident, you shake your head.

"It didn't look like that to me when Hosea and I talked to him."

"Well, if anything goes to shit just say the word and I'll start shootin' up the place.", she exclaims with a heavy drawl and fishes a revolver out of her weapon belt to underline her words.

"Will do.", you murmur under your breath, hoping it won't come to that.

After a while the two of you find yourselves in a rather fancy neighborhood. Actually, you recognize riding through here in the coach with Hosea, Dutch and Arthur, back when you attended that garden party. James must live only a few houses away from that place.

You hitch your horse on the side of the street and take out the card he has given you. Checking if you're at the correct address, you step into the front yard and walk towards the door. Sadie is following close behind you, her hand always placed close to her holster.

After you ring the doorbell, it takes a few seconds for the large double door to be cracked open. An unfamiliar face greets you. It belongs to an old man with silver, slicked back hair and a face that strongly reminds you of an owl, but not in the same way the mayor did when you met him.

"How can I help you?", he asks in a slow way, dragging out pretty much every single word.

Clearing your throat, you show him the card James has given you. "I'm here on business matters."

His deep brown eyes read the delicately printed letters on that small piece of paper before nodding and he steps aside. With a quick look that you throw Sadie over your shoulder, you walk into the house.

The hallway is open and filled with all sorts of plants. It makes you feel like you're more in a botanical garden than a normal residency. The walls are painted in light colors and the floor is made out of white marble that reflects the sunlight coming through the many windows.

"If you'll follow me.", the old man rips you out of your thoughts and takes you up a flight of stairs, leading you into an office.

The room has a high ceiling with a chandelier hanging down in the middle and the walls are covered in book shelves. Your guess is that most of these books haven't even been read and are only here for decoration.

James is sitting at a wooden desk that is adorned with fine carvings and it seems like that piece of furniture is far too big for him. He's not a man of small built, but his surroundings really aren't doing him any favors. The wide windows behind him drown the entire office in warm sunlight.

Unfortunately there aren't any plants in sight, making the room a vast contrast to the rest of the house's interior. James looks up from the pile of paperwork infront of him and his entire face lights up in delight.

"You came already?", he speaks up and stands up from his desk chair. He gives the older man a quick nod to signal him that he can leave now.

"Yes, we'd like another look.", you answer, forcing a convincing smile.

"Ah and here I was, scared that you might back off from the deal.", he answers with a soft chuckle. A few of his blonde curls fall infront of his face and he brushes them back with his hand. Then his eyes fall on something behind you. "You're a familiar face, but I'm afraid that I missed your name."

Sadie steps forward to stand next to you, her stance more relaxed now than when you entered this place. "Sadie. Mrs. Sadie Adler."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Adler."

The two of you aren't wanted anywhere (yet), so you're free to give him your real names. Not that you believe that he will snitch on you anyways if he'd somehow find out that you're criminals. On the contrary, he seemed incredibly excited back in the saloon when he saw your guns.

"Shall we go then?", he suggests and you nod.

Outside, an open coach is already standing ready for your small group to use and you all climb in. Your eyes linger on the two horses that are hitched up infront of his property.

"Could you give us a ride back as well?", you ask, motioning with your chin towards Penthesilea and Sadie's horse.

"Of course! I was meaning to drop you off at wherever you're staying.", he answers in a matter of fact way. "Where are you staying, if I may ask?"

Sadie and you exchange subtle looks before you answer. "Hotel Grant."

It's the only hotel that you know of in Saint Denis. Much to your relief, James seems to buy it and he leans back into his seat, satisfied with your answer.

"Where is your business partner from yesterday?", he then wants to know with a raised eyebrow.

"He couldn't make it." Your answer comes out shorter and more curtly than intended, but he doesn't seem to take notice.

At this point you're starting to assume that James is naive and gullible in nature. You have given him plenty of reasons to be suspicious by now. What if he knows what you are and he just doesn't care? It's hard to say what would be worse.

"This warehouse.", you start, faking interest in the building. "Why aren't you using it anymore?"

The man sitting infront of you curls up his lips in an embarrassed way, as if he'd been caught doing something bad. "Well, I really shouldn't tell you this, but we've had some issues with mold the past few years."

That would explain the stench. You nod to yourself, but say nothing further about that topic. Mold is the least of your problems and you wish you could tell him that he shouldn't worry about it either.

As you get off the coach, you track every single movement James makes. From the moment he fishes out the keys from his pockets to when he stores them back. The location is a tad unfortunate, but nothing you can't manage. They're stored on the inside of his coat right at his chest.

Maybe I could pretend to trip and just slip my hand in there? Yes, that should work.

You walk around the building, careful not to breathe in too deeply. He wasn't kidding when he said that they've been fighting mold for a long time now. A quick look over your shoulder tells you that Sadie is on the other side, inspecting some pillars and the naked brick walls.

As you take a step onto the metal staircase, leading up into the office, you feel the structure wobble under your feet. A presence appears right by your side and you turn your head to face James. An apologetic smile is on his lips.

"That needs some fixing, yes.", he comments, his gaze set on the rusty stairs and you let out an agreeing hum. "I know it doesn't look too good, but I'll offer a great deal for the property. If you don't like the current state then surely you can tear this down and re-build it."

You pretend to think about it. "We'll see. I will have to get back to Hosea about that."

"I can send you a price, once I've gone over the logistics and documents. Hotel Grant was it?"

"Just drop it off at the post office.", you answer, not wanting him to snoop around at the hotel. If he'd do that, then your cover would be blown.

"And should I address it to you or your business partner?"

"Tacitus Killgore."

You take in his reaction with a subtle side glance. His eyebrows shoot up and he studies your side profile for a few seconds before responding. "Is that another partner or something?"

"It's kind of the boss.", you say, too unsure to possibly sound convincing, but nevertheless, he nods. Much to your surprise, he doesn't come off as suspicious at all and even drops the topic.

After Sadie and you have given the entire place a thorough look-over, you leave through the front door again and you observe where James puts back the keys. They're in his chest pocket again and you step aside to let Sadie climb into the coach first.

Just as you take a step forward towards the vehicle, you trip over your own feet, but luckily James catches you. He protectively wraps his arms around your form and you place both hands on his chest to support yourself.

An embarrassed chuckle leaves your lips and you look up to meet his gaze. Worry covers his expression and you force an apologetic smile as your hand slides into his coat. Your fingers find a small object and without him noticing anything, you grab it.

"I'm so sorry. I swear, these shoes will be the death of me.", you joke and pull away from his grasp.

The concern in his face is being replaced by relief when he sees that you're alright and he extends his hand to you to help you into the coach. "It's quite alright. The sidewalk here isn't the cleanest either."

"You really should stop falling all over the place.", Sadie chimes in, making your clumsiness more believable.

"This happens regularly, I take it?", James asks curious and Sadie gives him a big nod.

"You got no idea, pal. I'm surprised she hasn't lost a leg yet!"

"Real funny, Sadie.", you grumble with crossed arms and hide the key in your fist.

The ride back to James' house goes by with some light small talk and he shakes your hand before the two of you mount your horses. He waves you goodbye as you signal Penthesilea to carry you away, outside of the city. You feel his eyes in the back of your head, but you don't dare turn around.

"That went smoothly. You got the keys?", Sadie asks over the sound of galloping hooves. Once you're around several corners, you lift the metal object into the air for her to see.

"It was easy."

"I think that feller is sweet on ya.", she tease with a smirk, but you sternly shake your head.

"He knows that I have something going on with Arthur."

"That don't always stop folk from developin' feelings.", she argues and you let out a defeated sigh.

"Just don't tell Arthur about that. God knows what he might do to that poor guy."

And with that you're one step closer to your freedom.

---

"You did well, stealin' those keys." Arthur's rough voice brushes your ears as the tips of his fingers trace the outline of your knuckles.

The keys are now in Hosea's possession and him and some of the other boys will plant the dynamite inside that building, once the time comes. A deep sigh leaves your lips and the outlaw throws you a questioning look.

"Why do I feel like shit now? I didn't feel like that the other times I screwed people over.", you complain with your gaze set straight forward.

You find yourself resting on a chair at the front porch with Arthur sitting right beside you. A cigarette is tugged between his lips, a cloud of smoke covering most of his face. The both of you are sitting close together, fingers intertwined and thighs pressed together.

"You like him. For some goddamn reason." He grumbles the last part in an irritated way and you give his shoulder a playful slap.

That action earns you an amused smirk from him and he holds the cigarette between his fingers. Some of the ash falls down and you watch the glow die out on the wet wood.

"Don't worry 'bout it too much. Focus on the fact that you did a good job, alright?"

"Alright."

But it just doesn't want to let you go. 

Taglist: @shackspossum @abducted-cowz @heloixe

[noopienoopiernoopiest]

Leo Knut - #1 - A Terrible Idea

Day One: @noots-fic-fests - Fic-O-Ween. Thanks as always to @lumosinlove

Rated: G

CW: Food

Warning: Vaincre Spoilers

Leo liked to think that he was a good partner.

He was always there to lend a hand when Finn or Logan needed it. He was always available for kind word or a big hug. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for his two.

And this was simple.

Should have been simple.

Their families had decided on various different plans for American Thanksgiving, and the three of them had decided that more than anything they wanted to spend it together. The ink was barely dry on Logan’s contract with the Rangers, and they knew now that for the next four years, this was going to be one of the few times during the season that none of them would have a game and get to see one another. As luck would have it, Logan had played an early home game Wednesday against the Penguins and had driven down to Gryffindor early. By the time Finn and Leo were done with their game against Montreal, he was there.

Leo wanted everything to be perfect. And perfect for Thanksgiving meant a dinner. A good one. The best one.

He’d done Thanksgiving dinner more times than he could count, but he’d always had his mama and her sisters as back up. Wyatt had surprised Eloise with a trip to Bali, so she was half a world away and without a phone. This was the first time he was attempting it all on his own.

Still, it shouldn’t be too complicated. It was just a lot of simple dishes all together at once. How difficult could it really be?

“Are you sure you want to do all this, Soleil?” Logan had asked, taking in all of the various groceries and prep that had taken over their kitchen by the time he got there.

“I already tried to talk him out of it,” Finn said, putting his chin on top of Logan’s head. “He said—”

“It’s a tradition. Besides, I want to do it for you,” Leo said, ignoring Finn.

“Exactly.”

“Is there anything we can—” Logan started again.

“Our instructions are to go to the living room and stay out of his hair,” Finn replied dutifully, nodding.

Logan’s eyebrows pulled together. “But I want to see you, Leo.”

Leo smiled. “You’ll see me plenty afterward. I promise.”

“But it’s, like, ten in the morning. Are you really going to start cooking now?”

Finn snorted. “Lo, he started like three days ago.”

Leo came up to both of them, kissing Finn’s cheek and then Logan’s forehead. “Trust me, it’ll all be worth it.”

That had been six hours ago.

Now, it looked as if a battle had been waged in the kitchen. Leo was usually pretty militant about organization while he was cooking, but that had been before his gravy had broken for the third time and he’d managed to scorch the rice and beans and had to start them over.

He was frantically trying to keep the cheese sauce from splitting and trying to figure out exactly how he was going to fit in three pans of various vegetables into the oven in the last thirty minutes of the turkey cooking.

“Baby, do you need—”

“I’m fine, Fish.”

“…You don’t seem—”

“Fine, Finn.”

“Are you s—”

“Finnegan.”

And then a few minutes later. Leo had his back to the doorway, but he could feel someone lingering there. It had to be Logan. Finn would have already started talking.

“Tremz, not now. I’ll be done soon.”

He couldn’t understand why they didn’t understand he was doing this for them. It had been effort. Lots and lots of effort over days of work. Baking pies and preparing bread, stewing turkey giblets and necks for stock that underpinned the gravy and the stuffing. Planning the menu, the grocery lists, the shopping. Weaving all of that in between practice and games and travel and everything else. It was almost done if they could give him an hour it’d be finished and he could relax.

He didn’t even turn around. He heard a sigh and the shuffling of feet and that was it.

Leo tried to distract himself from the lead weight in his stomach with mashing potatoes and pulling the stuffing from the oven, but it was there anyway.

And then, finally, it was done. The table was set.

Finn and Logan were both silent when they sat down.

“Looks great,” Finn said quietly.

“Ouais, Soleil.”

They made their plates, and Leo was finally ready to sit back and enjoy the fruits of all that labor.

And then tragedy struck.

Well, tragedy had started three days earlier when he’d decided to salt brine the turkey. Salt and baking powder. Salt and single action baking powder.

Finn reached for his napkin, discreetly trying to make a gagging noise without being rude.

It wasn’t the kind of mistake he made. But he did. The turkey looked perfect.

Logan winced, but kept chewing, swallowing determinedly.

As soon as he put it in his mouth, he could tell it wasn’t perfect. It couldn’t have been farther from perfect.  

Single action baking powder. Not double. Double would make it…

Taste like metal. Like baking soda.

Suddenly, Leo was aware of the wreck in the kitchen behind him, the sweat and stains on his T-shirt, the reserved, cowed expressions on their faces.

If it hadn’t already tasted vile, it would have tasted like ash anyway.

He wasn’t aware of the tears before they started to fall.

“Excuse me,” Leo said before leaving the table.

He just made it to the bathroom before the crying really started. What was he doing? He’d spent all day on this, and for what? He turned on the sink and wetted his hands, pressing cool water to his cheeks. He studied his red eyes in the mirror. His hair was frizzy, and he looked tired.

There was a gentle knock at the door before it was pushed open and Logan was there, pulling him into his arms, and the tears started again.

“Shhh, Soleil. It’s okay. It’s okay,” he soothed. It didn’t matter that Leo was six inches taller than him, in an instant, Leo folded himself into his chest and let himself cry.

“I’m sorry. God. I’ve been the worst,” Leo snotted.

“Non. No. Leo, no. It’s alright. You were stressed. We know that. We know you wanted it to be good for us.”

“This was a terrible idea,” Leo said.

“It wasn’t. Shh. It wasn’t. You always try to make everything so good for us. Finn and I know that.”

“And you’re not here that long!? You’re leaving tomorrow and I spent all day snapping and distracted,” Leo continued to rant.

“Peanut, look at me,” Logan pulled back, using the sleeve of his too long sweatshirt to wipe at Leo’s face. Leo was sure he looked a mess.

Logan didn’t seem to care. He offered Leo a small smile.

“You’re okay. It’s okay. We love you, Leo. It’s so good that you want to do things for us, Peanut, but it’s all okay. I promise.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Logan said, nodding his head like that was all there was to it.

Maybe it was.

“Okay, folks. Good news. There’s Thanksgiving pizza arriving in t-minus seven minutes,” Finn said coming in the doorway. “Everything else is delicious and who even likes turkey anyway? Worst poultry in my opinion,” Finn sniffed. 

Leo couldn’t do anything but pull him into their hug.

---

Afterward, after Finn and Logan tackled the kitchen and Leo was showered and snuggled into Finn’s oldest Harvard crewneck, Leo thought that it had been perfect anyway. Perfect as they’d laughed watching Finn try to combine cheese pizza and cranberry sauce, perfect as Logan balled up pieces of rolls and put them in the hood of Finn’s sweatshirt for him to find later.

Now they were all crammed on the couch. It was big enough for all of them, but each of them preferred to gather at one end and invade one another’s space. Leo’s head on Finn’s shoulder, breathing in Logan’s cologne as they watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

And Leo was so grateful for them.

“Thank you,” he said quietly into Logan’s hair.

Logan didn’t say anything, just reached up to kiss temple.

Leo figured it maybe wasn’t what he’d expected, but maybe that was exactly what made it better.

[red-pill-to-swallow]

Doing your part in a relationship

Hey babes,

it’s Monday – a new, fresh week and the ultimate opportunity to make some changes.

I don’t know why it feels so much better to start a new routine on a Monday than it does on a random Wednesday.

I took some time after I posted my last two posts and really thought about the relationship dynamic between my man and me.

I thought about changes that I would like to make and what could help us to become a better couple.

Honestly, I was pretty shocked after all my thinking because it turns out that my man is the rock in this relationship and I am not sure why he is still sticking around when he could probably do so much better.

But let me explain:

I gave up working in my full-time job around January 2023 and have been home ever since then.

My man was aware that I was totally burned out from my job and offered me that I could stay at home and take care of the household chores.

Previously we used to split the chores around the house roughly 50/50. It was very fair and in some weeks he did more than me and some weeks I did more than him, like it’s in every relationship.

I would say that I am fairly good at housekeeping. I know how to cook, how to clean and how to do laundry.

However – I never before was responsible for everything. From going grocery shopping and planning meals to cleaning the bathrooms every week – suddenly all of this was on me.

I struggle really bad with organizing myself, this was one of the reasons why I was so burned out from my previous job, and I started slacking.

I would do the laundry one day and take three days before I started folding it. My man literally had no underwear one time and flipped out because that’s obviously disgusting and instead of improving – I started to get mad at him.

It wasn’t only the laundry, it also began affecting my cooking – which I loved doing before – and I would start making only frozen meals or just serving cold meat cuts with bread.

We started fighting a lot more because my man was sad, that instead of relaxing at home he would need to help me with my chores – after a full workday.

I had my epiphany a few weeks ago (when I made this blog) and realized that my man has every right to be mad at me. He does his job. I am not.

So, let’s see – my man works really though hours. He leaves the house early in the morning and comes home in the early evening. He’s usually stressed because his job is very demanding and he is responsible for a lot of people.

Imagine coming home to your girlfriend, who’s staying at home, and almost nothing is done. The fridge isn’t restocked, the floor is dirty and there is no food. After your shower you realize that you have no fresh underwear because your girlfriend didn’t wash any.

I would flip out too.

My behavior was/is borderline disrespectful and I am honestly ashamed because of it. I would have broken up with me if I was him.

But here we are – still together and I don’t plan on dodging this second chance.

I think many girls that want the lifestyle of a spoiled girlfriend or a stay at home girlfriend don’t realize how hard it is to organize a whole household on your own.

Yes, there might be some men out there that are so rich that they don’t mind employing staff to help around the house, but I don’t think that this is achievable for a woman in her twenties without having various high value connections in the right circles. At least I don’t have those connections.

I am responsible for keeping the house clean, making food and going grocery shopping. That takes maybe 5 hours of my day and the rest of the time I can do whatever I want.

My man only wants to come home to a clean, organized house with a stocked fridge and possibly a hot meal on the stove.

Honestly – he is the one that is working his ass off every day, not me.

The worst is, that I even started to neglect my appearance. I used to shave every second day and that slowly progressed to only once a week. I used to color my hair religiously and worked out at least three times a week.

Now I haven’t touched up my hair in over three months, my roots are disgusting and I am very ashamed because of it. I mean, even though my man pays for my beauty appointments – I couldn’t get my ass up.

However, I cleaned our whole house today. From the bottom to the top. It’s spotless. I did laundry and went grocery shopping and I made a plan on how to maintain all of those things.

I won’t share the plan just yet because I want to make sure that I can actually follow it before I share it with you.

What should you take with you after reading this rant?

Be careful that you’re always a responsible partner. Don’t be like me. If you’re telling your partner that you plan on doing something – actually follow through and do it. Don’t disappoint them all the time.

Make sure that you acknowledge what they do for you and thank them for it every once in a while.

It is unattractive to be lazy and not being able to keep up with your standards. It’s unfair to your partner to let yourself go and they have every right to be upset about it.

Think before you speak and start an argument. Are you really right? Is it worth to start an argument about something that is your responsibility?

I mean, my man made it clear in the beginning: If I want to stay at home and live a cozy life – I have to take care of the house while he works and provides for us both.

He does his part of the agreement. Every single day.

I’ve only done my part of the agreement when I felt like it and that is not okay. But I am changing and I know that he has already forgiven me for all the hassle.

See you soon

[cottoncandyswirl828]

Zuma Appreciation Week: Day 4 - Zuma's Birthday!

Today’s the big day! For those who may not know, while none of the pups have any official birthdays, today is the day the organizer of Zuma Appreciation Week headcanons to be Zuma’s birthday, and so this is the day she’s celebrating it on her blogs. I don’t really have much to say here other than a big Happy Birthday to Zuma, so let’s get this party started!

Zuma yawned as he made his way out of his pup-house to stretch his legs.

“Must’ve gotten up early. Chase hasn’t woken us up with his megaphone yet.”

He considered going back into his pup-house to take advantage of his early rising with a good book and enjoy a relaxing morning, but once he remembered what day it was, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sit still.

“It’s my birthday! Wahoo!”

Zuma had to stop himself from howling with excitement and accidentally waking the others; just because it was his birthday didn’t mean he was allowed to give everyone else a rude awakening.

“I wonder what Ryder has planned for today…”

Zuma’s tail wagged happily at the thought. Ryder always made a point to do something extra special whenever one of their birthdays came around. Marshall had gotten to spend his birthday with his favorite racer, The Woosh, and Rocky had been surprised with his own garage on his birthday, which Zuma still has yet to visit for himself; he’ll need to pop by there sometime.

Since he was so full of energy, Zuma decided to run a few laps around the Lookout to blow off some steam, but as he was finishing his first lap, he caught a glimpse inside Chase’s pup-house out of the corner of his eye and skidded to a halt.

Chase wasn’t in his pup-house. In fact, looking back at the rest of the pup-houses, he realized all of them were empty.

“Where is everyone?” Zuma asked no one in particular. Maybe it wasn’t as early in the morning as he had thought, had he slept through Chase’s wake-up call somehow? If so, how come no one had come to get him?

He decided to head inside the Lookout to see if they were there, only to be met with a dark room, the only light coming from the glass doors of the entrance.

“Did the power go out or something?”

………

“SURPRISE!”

Light flooded the room, and Zuma jumped a solid foot in the air as everyone popped out of their hiding spots. The Lookout lobby had been decorated in shades of bright orange and ocean blue, with kelp green streamers and sea creature replicas thrown in here and there. A bubble-maker sat near the back of the room, filling the Lookout with a steady stream of bubbles, and in the center of the room sat a pretty impressive underwater themed cake topped with a cute figurine of Zuma in his scuba gear posed to look like he was swimming through the ocean.

“Happy Birthday Zuma!” Ryder and the rest of the pups cheered. Zuma stood in shock for a moment before he broke out into laughter.

“Wow guys, you did all this for me? How long did it take to set all this up?”

“Not as long as you might think.” Rocky replied, “Between the six of us we were able to get it done pretty quickly. The only real problem we had was with hiding the cake, Mr. Porter finished it yesterday and we had to get it into the fridge without you noticing.”

“I thought you guys were acting weird yesterday.”

“Yeah, it was honestly such a pain, but it was worth it.”

“You guys are the best!”

“Speaking of cake,” Ryder chimed in, “Do you want to eat it now, or wait until after your big surprise?”

“I think we should wait.” Rubble suggested, which was frankly surprising since they were discussing food. “We’re all gonna be pretty hungry after Zuma’s surprise.”

Zuma’s tail wagged wildly, it sounded like his surprise was something big! He felt like he was about to bounce off the walls in excitement.

“Let’s do it after, you guys are getting me so excited for my surprise I don’t think I can wait another minute for it!”

“Well, can you at least wait until after breakfast?” Rubble asked, sending the group into a fit of laughter.

Once they had breakfast, the team made their way to the docks, where Cap’n Turbot was waiting with the Flounder.

“Ahoy there pups! And a particularly perky ahoy to you, Zuma, and a hearty happy birthday! You ready for a riveting ride out to sea?”

“You bet! What are we gonna do? Whale watching? Water skiing? Scuba diving?”

“Well, you’ll just have to step foot onto my fine vessel and find out.”

Zuma practically ran onto the Flounder and had to stop himself from just taking the wheel and manning the vessel himself; a tempting idea aside from the fact that he didn’t know where they’re supposed to be going.

As the ship set sail, Zuma raced back and forth from one side of the boat to the other, looking over the railings to try and figure out where they were headed with his tail wagging so fast it was almost a blur.

“It looks like Zuma’s got the zoomies.” Cap’n Turbot laughed as he watched Zuma run across the ship’s deck for what must’ve been the tenth time by now. Ryder nodded before briefly slipping below deck to grab the scuba gear he had brought along with them.

“Hey Zuma, you want to go ahead and get into your scuba gear now or wait until we get there?”

“I knew it! We are going scuba diving!”

“Yep, and you’re going to love the diving spot we found, it’s amazing. Even Rocky’s excited about it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say excited,” Rocky countered, “but from the pictures Cap’n Turbot showed us, it is really pretty. And it’s a type of recycling, which you know I’ll never complain about, even if it’s underwater.”

Now Zuma was even more excited, it must be great if it got Rocky in the water! Zuma decided to busy himself by getting into his scuba gear, and by the time he was suited up, the Flounder had dropped anchor at its destination.

“Alright pups, ready to dive?”

“You know what I always say: let’s dive in!”

Zuma canon-balled into a water with a big splash, followed by the rest of the Paw Patrol along with Cap’n Turbot. Together, the group dived beneath the waves and began swimming towards the sea floor.

Even in the water, Zuma was still a bundle of energy, doing spins and flips and kicking up a whirlwind of bubbles.

Once they were close to the sea floor, a large structure came into view. It was a sunken ship, probably centuries old, completely covered with colorful coral and sea life. Large schools of fish darted in and out of holes in the ships hull alongside crabs and starfish that crawled along the deck. It was the biggest coral reef Zuma had ever seen.

“Woah. An artificial reef! I’ve never seen one of these in person before! This is awesome!”

Rocky nodded, “Yeah, it’s so cool how all the ocean creatures can recycle stuff like old ships and shipping containers that fell in the ocean and turn them into reefs. Its such a great way to reuse stuff in a way that directly contributes to environmental conservation.���

“Maybe you and I can do some research together on underwater habitat preservation, have you heard of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch?”

“Are you kidding? What environmental conservationist hasn’t heard of that floating nightmare? You and I should definitely brainstorm ocean clean-up ideas, it keeps me up at night knowing there’s all that garbage just floating around in the ocean.”

“Me too.” Zuma sighed, “But that’s a problem for another day. Right now, we’ve got a reef to explore!”

[certifiedbun]

The Gods Didn't Define Us

It's when he's gotten comfortable does the thought finally reveal itself in his psyche. Laying on Idia's bed, listening to the relaxing clicking and clacking of a keyboard and mouse. Posters and figurines, manga and novels, plushies and character merch litter his room in an organized mess Leona isn't sure anyone else could replicate if they tried.

But the small altar in the corner stands out among the controlled chaos. Untouched by his personality, it's neat and tidy, with incense flowing around a small statue of Hades. He can't help but stare at the rolling clouds that fall at the god's feet. He's been here long enough for Leona to notice the heavy scents. Cold is really how he could describe it, cypress and mint, but there's an undercurrent of fruity and floral that makes Leona almost homesick.

The incense tints the room with a white vignette, so noticeable he remembers laughing about it during the early stages of their relationship. Worship wasn't something he thought much of back home. Funerals and births were days of importance for many, with their neighbors, friends, and families all gathering to celebrate the new life or the life lived by the deceased. Weddings lasted multiple days, full of food and parties. But the things that connected every holiday and celebration in Sunset Savanna were the ancestors and elders.

Their experiences were sewn into everything. Their traditions and trials. Every family had their own unique tradition based on how granny and gramps did it. Meeting Idia, he noticed that the other acted similarly with Hades. Little things like praying he gets lucky in his gachas or that he gets enough of whatever the in-game currency he needs is to bigger things like looking for signs from him to aid in decision making. And then he feels himself spiraling.

Maybe it was something born from years in his brother's shadow, but the idea of their meeting being written well before he knew made him uncomfortable. The idea of gods or a higher power deciding for him the status of his relationships made him sick and upset. It left the foul taste of ash and cinder on his tongue. What did the gods know about him to say that Idia was his perfect match? Or were they so fickle they paired them up purely because they wanted to? Did Idia pray and say he did? Was Leona chosen because he was the closest person around? If it were anyone else, would they be the one in Leona's spot contemplating their relationship like he was?

A scowl crept on his face the more he thought about it. He could feel his brows knitting together as his mind wandered the spiraling path. It's hard not to. So many questions with answers he'd likely never get. All he could do was question. It was a trait Kifaji nurtured and hated in equal parts.

"Leona?" Idia's voice cuts through like a serrated blade. It's rarely ever steady or confident when in a crowd, but when it's just the two of them, it stands out, and Leona can hear every slight tremble or stutter that comes from blue lips. "You okay over there? You look like you're staring at your inventory before a big boss fight."

"Do you think we were destined to be together?"

"Huh...?"

"Do you think we were destined to be together?" He asked again, sitting up to look at Idia directly. Sharp, jaded eyes were met with crystal watery depths that drowned every time he looked too hard.

"I don't know if I'm being honest. I'd like to believe we're soulmates, though..." His voice was softer as he spoke.

"I don't think we are." Curt and to the point, it would've sounded harsh to anyone else. "That's not to say I don't love you though."

"But?"

"We aren't soulmates. There was no divine intervention or some god or goddess playing matchmaker. No red string of fate, no premonitions for a future of us."

"I see... Leona I-"

"I'm not done, Idia." He said cutting off the gloomy heir. "Just because we weren't destined to be together doesn't mean we were accidental." His ears twitched as he found his words. Emotions clinging to a barbed tongued. "I met you and learned about your quirks and habits and hobbies and personality. Nothing divine could have forced me to want you. I wanted you because you are Idia Shroud, a nerdy, gloomy, otaku, whose so socially anxious he can't attend house warden meetings."

"...At first, I thought you were going to break up with me," Idia mumbled, he started to bite his lip as his eyes fell to the floor. "I'm glad you chose me. Sometimes, it feels like... It feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop."

He looks at Leona through lidded eyes. His hair turned a pale pink as he spoke, and he could see Idia fighting the urge to crack his knuckles after every word. "It felt almost like a fantasy and I couldn't help but wonder if you'd ever come to your senses and leave me. Because we both know you could do a thousand times better than me."

"Even if there was better than you, Shroud, I wouldn't choose them over you," Leona said. "I'm dating you because I want you. I want Idia Shroud as a boyfriend and as a partner for life. I love you intentionally. I love you purposely."

[academic-comeback]

Week 1: Routines

Routines. Are. Everything. But they are also completely up to you. Establishing one can be difficult, but I have found is essential to a functional life. And it doesn't require a 7am wakeup every morning and falling asleep exactly at 11pm every night (those of us with insomnia, anxiety and others who just can't seem to switch their brains off will most definitely understand how difficult that can be), but it means keeping your life as organized as possible. College-era jobs are unpredictable. So is life. I personally work in food service, where schedules are variable and not entirely up to me. One day I could be opening and getting home at 4pm, while another day I'll get there at 4pm and close, working until 11pm depending on the job hours and who stays extra late just talking. What you do outside of the uncontrollable makes or breaks you. Routines, to me, are more about organizing the time you *do* have, no matter when that is. So in creating a schedule, you need to list your priorities, no matter what they may be. You also need to be able to be flexible, especially if you're working. Even if you're not working, staying strict in your routines can make life boring, and could lower the chances that you'll stick to them. Rigidness in the things you can control makes people like me not want to do them, so we should be open to changing *when* we get things done, as long as they get done within our set time frame. So, to create the routine. List priorities. Essential priorities while in college should probably include studying, keeping a tidy dorm or bedroom, hygiene, eating, classes, sleeping. Personal priorities might include hobbies, exercise, spending time with friends, calling home, or setting some alone time. My Current Priorities:

Keep room tidy

Take a shower before bed

Study during allotted times (Monday-Wednesday, 3hrs)

Read for at least 30 minutes a day

Ceramics on Thursday mornings

Get 8 hrs of sleep a night

So, my morning routine would look like waking up at my set time, and making my bed. I might go ahead and brush my teeth, style my hair, and make breakfast or lunch (depending on how hungry I am), before heading to ceramics if it happens to be a Thursday, or reading if not. Maybe I have work that morning and I'll get ready for that. At some point during this routine, you may want to look at your planner and figure out the rest of the day. What classes are you going to? What assignments are due? Do I have a space in between classes to study, complete assignments, eat, and decompress? A lot of this might already be planned out, and you might already have a great understanding of this routine. But if you get started in thinking about it, you might feel better prepared for the rest of the day, rather than forgetting that this club meeting is happening, you picked up a shift and need to head to work straight after class, the due date for this assignment got moved or this exam is in two weeks and I need to start studying today. Or whatever the case may be.

Night time routines, for me, are more about reflecting and decompressing. Once 11:59 hits and all of today's assignments are due, it's time to close the laptop and think about anything but. This is a good time to indulge in a relaxing hobby like crochet, reading, writing/journaling, or even simply watching an episode or two of your favorite show. It's a great time to wind down, perhaps take that shower if you're a night person, and slip into some comfy clothes. Maybe this is the time that you study some more, if you're a night owl, or maybe you're already asleep if you're an early bird. Personally, a shower is how I mainly decompress. It's where I reflect on my day while also taking care of myself. I'll blow-dry my hair if it's a wash day and head to bed. Sometimes I'll read, sometimes I'll watch a show, other days I'm too tired to think and will fall straight asleep. The big picture is to know yourself and routines that work best for you. If you get work done best at night, this is the time to be doing schoolwork and studying. Take mid-day to be your time to decompress and indulge in hobbies and other activities. Early-birds may prefer to get up early and indulge in these hobbies, studying, or anything else, and leave night time for whatever else. But also, learn to give yourself grace. You aren't going to die because you overslept one morning and missed half (or all) of your classes. Or because you got a late start to studying. Or because you spent a day or two not really doing anything. In my YouTube research of people who've made their academic comebacks, the baseline is that as long as they met their goals *most* of the time, they remained successful. Strict routines are not always going to fall into place. They make life boring, and keep you from being social sometimes, which is really important for your mental health, which is most important for your overall success. Sometimes, life even gets in the way and your gym time may be overrun by a friend's sports game or performance. Maybe someone's upset and you have to tend to that. Or, a dreaded exam is scheduled for the middle of the time you've scheduled for tuba practice. Maybe this means you can't go to the gym or practice that day. Or you'll have to leave social time for tomorrow. This is not the end of the world. You are still just as successful as you were yesterday when you checked everything off of your to-do list. The Bottom Line. Establish routines. Stick to them as best you can. Give yourself grace. You are human. Academic weapons are human. We are not robots. You. Will. Survive.

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - Bunch Family

Connections (Part 3)

After staring blankly out of the window for a while, Judy felt her husband's hands gently embracing her, which made her flinch a little. “Hey, relax, it's just me, hn. Are you watching the rain?"/ ”I wasn't really paying attention to it and my thoughts are louder than the drops pattering against the window.” Judy's voice was quiet and sounded a little tortured.

“What's keeping you busiest at the moment?"/ ”You know that, Jack. Everything here… There's still so much to do. Winter's coming, most people here still don't have any heating. Smaller and bigger things are needed everywhere… Then the wedding, I promised Blair I'd take care of the organization… And…"/ ‘Why don't you listen to me, or at least to our son?’.

Judy knew what he meant, of course. She almost felt like crying, but she just swallowed it. “Someone has to help them, Jack…"/ ”But you can't be everywhere at once. It's only a matter of time and you'll get a burn out. Is that what you want?”. She shook her head in small movements. “You're so good at organizing. Then make a plan on how best to divide up certain tasks. You really need to relax again”. He gently stroked her shoulders.

Judy was silent for a while. She had to think hard about everything she had done to help in the last few months. It was almost too much “Let go. The people here are almost underwhelmed because of you, because you take so much off their hands. help should actually come from somewhere else.” Judy took a deep, shaky breath “H-hh, I don't even know how to relax properly anymore…”/ “I do…”

Judy was still wearing her old nightgown, which had actually become far too loose for her as she and her husband had lost a lot of weight in recent months. So it was easy for Jack to slowly slip the nightgown off her shoulders so that it fell to the floor. Then he pulled her close to him. For a moment, she looked at him almost skeptically. “Am I… still pretty enough for you?”. He stroked her chin and looked intently into her eyes “Always”.

It had been quite a while since Judy and her husband had been so close. But Jack was still able to seduce his wife. Even if a while ago he still felt uncomfortable about how his appearance would look to others. Sometimes such large scars have a repulsive effect on others. But no one has turned their back on him because of it. And for Judy, he is and remains the man she always wanted….

It's the next morning and despite it being Sunday, the family's day starts quite early. “Mom, can I go to VJ's?"/ ‘It's not even really light outside yet and you want to leave the house again? Can't we at least have breakfast together, is that too much to ask?’/ ”N-no. Sorry. Are you still mad… about the pictures?”. Judy took a moment before answering in a calm and gentle voice. “I was young once too, Lisa, but things like that didn't occur to us so much back then.”.

“It was just for fun. The pictures are just for the two of us, nobody else can see them"/ ”you say that so easily. fun quickly turns serious and then? I don't want anything to happen to you"/ ”VJ doesn't want that either. I know he's difficult sometimes, but…"/ ”You just know him better than anyone else here, you trust each other, I know. Please stay for breakfast, okay?”.

“OK, I'll stay until after dinner. “/ “Thanks…Lisa?”/ “Yes?”/ “I assume you two… Surely more has happened, right?”. Lisa knew that this time would come at some point. But now of all times, so early in the morning, while her mother was preparing breakfast? “You want to know if we've already had sex?"/ ‘Well, yes…’/ ‘No.’/ ‘No??’/ ‘Why are you so surprised?’/ ‘Well, because…hh, it's VJ, I thought he might be pestering you’.

Lisa slowly turned around and leaned against the wall. “No, he's not pushing me, Mom. It just hasn't been the right time yet. But he… He tries really hard, sometimes he even does romantic things…"/ ‘VJ, a romantic? Wow….’/ ”Yes, unbelievable, I know. But don't worry, there aren't even any condoms here anymore, so we'll probably wait until we're 30”. Judy had to smile a little. But the way Lisa had been talking about her boyfriend recently and all the things she'd said about him almost seemed to convince her a little.

A little later at breakfast. “Did you get anything done last night, Daddy?"/ ”Well… I hope so. Now we'll have to wait and see."/ ‘It's got really cold outside, winter's sure to come quickly this year’/ ‘That's exactly why I'll be on my way in a minute.’/ ‘Judy…’/ ‘Don't worry, darling. You told me to make a plan and I have’.

Ethan watched his father eat. “Is everything okay, Dad? Unlike mom, you're the one who looks pretty knackered today“/”cough, huh? Thanks too. I'm fine, I've just… slept a bit too little, that's all.“/”Then it's probably time for a midday rest today.”… After they had finished eating, Lisa stood up “I'm going now, Mom…”/ “All right. Oh… Please wait outside for a moment”.

As Judy was planning to go on a trip anyway, she accompanied her daughter outside. Before that, she went into the bedroom for a moment. When she was outside, she slipped something into her daughter's pocket without saying a word. When Lisa felt for it with her hand and realized what it was, she looked at her mother with wide eyes. “I hope you know how to do that, don't you?” Lisa nodded with a big grin and hugged her mother, who whispered something else in her ear. Then she ran off in the direction of VJ…. “I need to start trusting her too. Well then, let's go.”.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

End of this Part

@greenplumbboblover 😊

[aladaylessecondblog]

omegaverse AU AU 2

Authors Note: almost 3000 damn words. Brain. I made it. Can I think about something else please??? this is that au where the skooma blocked out her omega reactions and she DIDN'T get sick

-------------------------------

With the brush tucked away and the guild business dealt with, Sadrith spoke to the Face Sculptor and asked if she was willing to do the work. In fact she was, and the payment Torovan had brought with him was accepted.

The Face Sculptor, Galathil, was quick to lay out that she could work on Torovan's face, but that it would need to be done in the upstairs bed at Honeyside.

"But that's my bed..." Sadrith said quietly. "Nevermind."

She was feeling twitchy, wrong. She hadn't had the chance to take her skooma yet, because Torovan had stayed up - insisting the Face Sculptor do her work in the early morning, and she hadn't been alone long enough to take her dose.

"Now, a few questions before we get started," Galathil said to Torovan. "Are you alpha, or omega?"

"Does it matter?" Torovan asked. "Alpha."

"It does, actually. I use a certain spell to put my clients into a sort of modified sleep...both alphas and omegas tend to be groggy after I work on them, but alphas for one reason or another have a sudden sharpening of their senses for a short period afterwards. Reaction to scents, for example, is intensified for a short period."

"There's not any alphas that'll be in here," Sadrith said quietly, "Iona is a beta, and I'm an omega. There's nothing to worry about."

"Good, good. Now, have you washed your face today?"

"Pardon?" Torovan asked.

"Your skin must be clean before I work on it. To prevent infection, you understand. Even with healing spells at the ready there's always a risk."

"Oh, I see. Then no."

"I'll get some water," Sadrith said. She fetched it quickly and grabbed a washrag and a bar of soap. She set them on the bedtable, and on impulse wet and lathered the rag up herself. "He's not been feeling particularly well."

"Traveling with a bonded omega can do that, but usually not to this degree...one sees it happen more in the reverse case." Galathil said, "Is HE bonded?"

Torovan hesitated, and Sadrith felt a clench in her chest. She'd said she was pretending it wasn't him so things wouldn't be awkward, and he'd been denying her since that accidental bite. Why would this hurt so much NOW? "He is."

"There's the answer to it, then. You should return him to his omega's company as soon as possible. Extended separation isn't good for either one."

Sadrith just nodded, and once Torovan removed his bandages set about gingerly washing his face. It took several minutes longer than she expected, because every touch seemed to pain him. The moments when her fingers touched his skin felt so good to her...a bloom of wonderful sparks beneath her skin. A happiness that wanted to run wild, to touch him more.

She wasn't entirely certain of how he was feeling. The bond felt - odd, and she couldn't really feel what he was feeling the way the books all said she was supposed to. But he seemed to enjoy being touched, that careful washing of his face. She could see that - the way he relaxed into her hands despite the initial cringe from pain.

Scenting him, that's what it probably was. The soap was scented mint itself, which would only accentuate her own more earthy mint variety. And his scent - spice, musk, filling her nose was just where she wanted to be. It was absolute agony forcing herself not to bury her face against his neck, breath it in...the thought of swiping her tongue over a gland--

The wash was over. Torovan dried his face, and then lay back. He seemed to be a little less fatigued but it had only been half a day, and they'd stuck close. The books all said a newly mated pair could hardly bear to be apart, and she was feeling that now...but if he'd ever felt it there wasn't a symptom. Maybe his attempts to deny it had been what lead to the fatigue, the weakness. She'd just have to find a way to sever the bond soon, so he didn't fall back.

She wanted to think they'd both be better off, but all she wanted was to curl up beside him, stop him from shoving her off ever again.

Let me enjoy you, just once, just for a little bit, before I lose you entirely.

The operation itself took two hours - Galathil worked relatively quickly, but her healing spells had to be cast at a higher level than she would normally use.

Sadrith fetched towels, and cleaned away blood when necessary, feeling more and more antsy as she waited. At some point she went outside to rinse the bloodied towels, once Galathil said she should be done soon. She thought of what he might look like now the scars were gone - she'd liked them, but he seemed eager to have them cleared away. Handsome, no doubt. Even through the scars she had noted the high cheekbones, the sharp jaw, the--

She squirmed a bit. The skooma. Yes. The skooma, that would banish all this. It was a good time to take it. Galathil was too busy, and Torovan was unconscious. Iona might see her, but she understood and had seen how the skooma made a difference in whatever was wrong with her head.

And yet...

She thought she wouldn't have this bond too much longer anyway, so why not enjoy it while it lasted? If they didn't find anyone between here and Winterhold there'd surely be someone THERE who knew of a method. While Torovan was in a good mood, or rather while he needed her and wouldn't have the energy to be nasty.

She wanted to see what made the omegas in the romantic novels she read so happy when they were closed to their beloved alphas, see what exactly it was like to be in that position, to catch a scent and revel in it because it was your alpha's. Because it belonged to the one you were bonded to.

My alpha...

She went back inside. The operation was over and Galathil had a list of instructions for her. Torovan wasn't to eat for at least two hours after he woke up (which could be anytime between now and a few hours from now) - something about the magics use to keep him asleep causing stomach upset.

Then the woman was gone, and Sadrith could turn back towards Torovan.

Maybe it was the scent talking, but...he was breathtaking. If ever there was a face she would use the word 'noble' to describe, it was this one. Had things been different she could easily imagine taking him to the Black-briar wedding proudly, thinking - this handsome face belongs to my alpha! And that was to say nothing of the bare chest currently on display. Gods, what a work of art he was.

The warm feeling only intensified the closer Sadrith got. She lay the paper with Galathil's instructions on the bedtable, and then sat down beside Torovan's still slumbering form on the bed.

His hair had been combed above his head and twisted into a bun to keep it out of the way. She leaned down slightly to untie it, and took a deep breath.

Where I belong, the feeling came suddenly, and then even stronger the urge to touch him. Sadrith yielded only enough to lay a hand on his face. His cheek was cold, of course, but the touch had wonderfully warm sparks going off beneath her skin. Yes, mine. Where I belong.

The sparks eased off, and then seemed to settle into a feeling almost like a glow. Like he was a fire she was drawing warmth from, only there was an undercurrent of pleasure to go along with it.

She leaned a little further, and took a deep inhale right against his neck. Between the skin contact and taking in his scent Sadrith felt suddenly light-headed, and drew upwards. Too much, that was too much. Maybe that was what happened when an omega didn't get enough of their alpha's attention, and then suddenly got close again?

On impulse she planted a kiss on his forehead, and the urge to throw herself at him on his waking suddenly rose. I am yours, she wanted to say, Yours, if only you will have me.

His eyes opened, bleary, and she panicked and started to move back. He reached up with his two shaking hands and held the one of hers she still had on his chest.

He is not often touched, she thought suddenly. Or felt, rather. She was certain of it, like an instinct. It made her wonder - if it wasn't her, then why would not seek more of this? Maybe he still believed that she'd tricked him into biting her, but then - most alphas were eager to have an omega. Marcurio had nearly bitten her on more than one occasion in the throes of his rut, saying if no one else claimed her he would.

But Torovan...he seemed intent on isolating himself. Maybe he wasn't angry, but if he wasn't, then...

Mine...

She took a deep shuddering breath as one of Torovan's hands made its way up her arm and touched briefly at the bite mark on her neck.

And for once, it didn't hurt.

--------------------------

He was ready to assume the Face Sculptor had done something to him--or rather, more than what he'd asked for. When he woke he felt overheated, uncomfortable. When he opened his eyes he saw - the dragonborn, looking down as if concerned.

Then he'd caught her scent, felt the warmth of her hand against his cold skin, and realized just how long it had been since he'd been touched like this. Touched at all, really.

The room swam before his eyes, but he reached his hands up to cover the one of hers on his chest. Then ran them up her arm, finding himself going over the bite mark by accident.

This was a dream, it had to be. She never touched him, not even if she had the opportunity to. Much as she kept saying he didn't want her, he was certain she didn't want him either - if she did she would have said something. Done something. Tried to cozy up to him. Even if the skooma was doing its job she would surely have had a moment of weakness at SOME point.

Or maybe that was what this was.

Her scent seemed all around him - the sheets that smelled faintly of her, the pillow, and then a little of it, stronger, from where he didn't know. He felt safe for the first time in years.

Is this what it is supposed to be like? he thought. His vision swam again and he groaned slightly. No, this is more than what it was when I first bit her, this is...this is...

The word was on his lips, but he couldn't think or speak it.

Then he blinked, and she was gone. He sat up, feeling groggy but more clear headed than before. At the end of the room was Sadrith's housecarl.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"The Thane has guild business to attend to," the woman said, "She said it wouldn't take very long."

He reached for his bag, and there was a pause.

"She also said that according to the face sculptor's instruction, you were not to eat for two hours after you woke up. Something regarding nausea, I believe - your pain isn't being felt directly, but your body still thinks it's in pain, so eating could cause upset of the stomach...she explained it in more detail."

"Just as well. I don't feel like eating."

He waited until she'd gone downstairs to take one of the pillows in his arms and inhale Sadrith's faint scent again. Yes. He didn't have to tell her his true name, but...they could talk after she returned. He would say he'd changed his mind, or that they at least didn't have to rush to sever the bond.

If he HAD been awake, and that had been an honest feeling...mate, mate, mate. The word repeated itself in his head, over and over, more impactful with every iteration.

He had been far too hasty, far too enamored with the idea of locking himself away from everything. If he had responded differently to that first day after claiming, no doubt things would be much better between them now. She would have shared the bed with him eagerly, given one of those eager smiles he didn't see her give any longer.

She had been so full of eagerness for everything before the bite, so gloriously alive...

When she returned, they would definitely have to talk. Yes. This would be cleared up.

He dozed a while longer, and had one of his bottles the instant he was able. He looked over the room, then inside the bedtable cabinet. It was packed full of romance novels. He supposed that was to be expected.

Worry, concern.

He hadn't picked up her mood like that before, but it was certainly hers because he wasn't feeling those things right now.

Panic. Danger.

He took a deep breath as the sensation went through him - she was afraid of something. Then there was a spark of determination that made him grin. She was tough, she would--

--and then a pain so deep it took his breath away. He had died twice - and this felt as those two had, but without the visible wound or blood, nothing to show for it. He clutched at his chest - something was being torn, ripped away, but what, what?

He didn't have to wonder long.

One moment he could feel what seemed every emotion she was having, the fear of whatever she was fighting, the will to defeat it - and then it began fading into the distance. A slow, agonizing pain, as if someone were pulling out a fingernail, but on a broader level.

He got up, stumbled, fell back into bed, and stared at the ceiling as the feeling worsened.

Where are you? Where did you go? Whatever did this - whatever - I will destroy the lot of them, I swear it.

And then...

...nothing.

There was nothing.

He was in a daze for several minutes...or maybe it was several hours. He couldn't tell--there was still light coming in from the window, so it couldn't have been TOO long.

It was gone.

Gone, all of it.

He reached for her through the bond and felt nothing. Not even the emptiness from before, it was as if the bond wasn't there at all to reach for her THROUGH.

Surely she couldn't have found someone to sever it? Could Nocturnal have done it--if that was what had happened?

Torovan's head raced with the possibilities until some time later, when the front door finally opened again, and Sadrith walked through.

Her gaze was steady, but empty. Hollow. And dead tired.

"What do you know," she said, "Of the ash creatures of Dagoth Ur?"

"Why do you ask?"

Of all the things she could have said, why that first?

"Because I just killed a lot of them. They'd infested my fellow...follower of Nocturnal's...let us call it our home, but she is the only one who really lives there. There were the empty-faced ones, the tentacle ones...my mother had drawn me some, otherwise I'd never have recognized them."

"Gods above, it's not possible. The--he's dead. He's DEAD."

"Apparently not," she said, tone muted. "I found my--her dead, though...buried her...and the...the one with a headful of tentacles. A journal I found said her name was Serana."

"Serana?" Had he had any blood in his face to lose he would have paled. "I knew a Serana, Sigurd wouldn't tell me what had happened to her. But--but how Dagoth Ur could be HERE of all places..."

"Statues," she said quietly, "I broke two of them, but it..."

"You are well? You didn't catch anything off them, did you? The--if they're what you say they are then there's the risk of corprus."

This was a disaster, an utter calamity. But there was something else, something more, something he needed to know NOW--

"What happened to you? The bond is..."

Sadrith didn't seem to hear him. She came forward, rubbing her eyes.

"I need to sleep," she said, "Write it down, before I forget..."

"Write what down?"

"I let the Jarl know about it..."

"About what?"

"He's come back," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed, "Let me sleep, and I'll tell you about it when I wake up."

"And what about us?"

Sadrith's head drooped, along with her eyes.

He lifted her chin, and felt nothing. No sparks, no warmth.

Then he looked where the bite mark had been.

It was gone; in its place was a long scar, from the edge of her neck to her shoulderblade. Closed and healed, but...the bite itself was gone.

"What happened to your neck?" he asked. "Where is the bite?"

"Fight," she said, "Clawed at me."

He fed her a healing potion and tucked her in, but she seemed to sleep fitfully. For a moment he wondered what had caused this.

But then he realized how stupid that question was. Of course he knew what, or more importantly WHO, had caused this.

When Sadrith woke, he would talk to her about this again.

He would not lose his mate to the demon that had once used his body as a shell for its own whims.

But, the thought came then, Hasn't that happened already? No. No, whatever he's done, whatever this is, it will be fixed. He's taken enough.

[scribeofskyrim]

Tirdas, 5th of Frostfall, 4E 201

Thank the Divines for a quiet day.

I slept terribly. I fell asleep in the carriage and woke up when we stopped at Solitude early this morning. It wasn't even sunup when we arrived, and we took our time walking up the hill to the city gates.

Nothing was open when we got there except for the Winking Skeever, so we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast while we waited for Beirand to open his forge. We'd found a few random weapons and bits of armor that we'd missed selling back in Windhelm, so those needed to go. I also wanted to get some steel and iron ingots to use back at the house.

It was a quick visit with Beirand - He and Sayma are doing well - and we stopped in at the fletcher to get some decent arrows for Lydia.

I was about to go down the long stairway to the water's edge when Lydia asked if I had something to do at the Bard's College?

I'd completely forgotten about the book, so I asked them to stay by the steps while I ran over and handed it off.

The Bard's college is huge, and beautiful. I was just wandering around, looking for Giraud Gemane, and spent a moment listening in on a class. The teachers are strict, but I'm not surprised. Bards from Skyrim are in big demand all over the Empire, and everyone says they're the best of the best.

While I was wondering how well Erandur did here as a student, an older Altmer came up to me and asked if I was interested in joining the college. I declined, and he introduced himself.

It was Viarmo, the Headmaster. The same person that kicked Erandur out of the college. He asked what I was doing there, and I explained I was just dropping in for a delivery. He said that Giraud tended to sleep late, but should be up momentarily.

He excused himself, and then I heard some banging on a door from down a side hallway.

It was hard not to laugh when a sleepy-looking man came up a few moments later, adjusting his hat. I handed over the book from Adonato and he was surprised at how short it is. Still, he was excited to read it, so I accepted a delivery fee and went on my way.

I met back up with the others, and we left for here.

I'd almost forgotten how sharp that first dip in the water is! It nearly knocked the wind out of me, but I managed to get to the other side without freezing to death. The trip through the swamp was quiet besides a pair of frostbite spiders, but they were no problem.

The house was fine, and we all took a moment to dry off and warm up around the fire. Septim flopped down and promptly fell asleep.

Once we'd gotten all of our extra things put away and somewhat organized, Lydia helped me finish up a few more bookcases for the library. Valdimar did a bit of cooking, and Erandur stood next to the fire, chatting with him while he worked.

The others just relaxed or did small chores around the house while I spent the rest of the day sorting through books for the library.

Exciting, I know, but it needs done and I'm looking forward to having a well-organized collection.

I did take breaks to work on getting the cellar and back room together. Downstairs, I got a few practice dummies put up and a set of shelves for some shrines. I'll have to ask Erandur on how to get an amulet of Mara so I can build a shrine to her down here.

I also got a forge and a washbasin set up, which is good. I'll need it so I can wash off after smithing or practicing, but down here's private enough we can take baths. The forge makes it nice and toasty, so it ought to be comfortable, too.

And even though it's early, I'm going to get some sleep.

I ran out of logs (again) so tomorrow I'll have to take another swim and order more from the mill.

Lydia just reminded me! She asked what my plan was, and when I told her about the mill, she said to not forget the people up at Stonehills. He said he might have some ingots for me if I delivered his message, and I could definitely use them.

Worth a look, at least.

[flawless-peach]

guide to happiness 🌷🥰

- understand what I'd making you unhappy. are you unsatisfied with your job? relationships? diets? look deep. is it your diet or is it the way food you eat makes you feel physically or emotionally? if it's you job or is it the field your in the schedule you have?

- find a way to organize your life. whether thats an online source like notion or a physical copy like a bullet journal. this will help you know when you are needed. maybe medical or hair appointment. I like to use mine for keeping track of chores and meal plans.

- drink plenty of water. water is just a great way for you to stay healthy. drinking water is listed because dehydration can cause depression-like symptoms, or at the very least, can cause discomfort to your body.

- eat a balanced diet. along the same lines as the water, think about your diet. sit with your body, reflect on how it feels. I find that when i have headache it's usually due to lack of proteins because that is a good i struggle to eat. it is important to not stress over the details of macros and what-not. eat what you want, but try to give your body the nutrients you need because you deserve a healthy body.

- make time for yourself. i can not say enough I how important I think it is to be alone with yourself. I think it can be so healing and relaxing. making time for yourself can be paired with multitasking, like while doing your skincare or reading a book.

- say positive affirmations. looking back at that first tip of identifying what makes you unhappy and finding affirmations that can target the areas in your life that you are not satisfied with. I like to repeat these as a way to go to sleep (like counting sheep almost) and when I'm able to in the mirror as well. that can be difficult for those who deal with dysmorphia or dysphoria, so don't push yourself too far if you aren't ready <3

- incorporate daily movement. this is so important for me, especially since I have a lot of joint issues. i begun doing daily yoga, which has helped with my knee pain, and my boyfriend does it with my occasionally for his back pain. my body is not yet in the state for higher intensity workouts, but I'm interested in eventually joining a pilates class (in my 3 year goals <3)

- journal. whether about your mental state or just what you did throughout the day. this is such a great way to just slow down and enjoy life. I find myself constantly rushing trying to get the most out of my day, so journalling at the end of the night helps me calm down and reflect on what I did throughout the day and appreciate myself for what I had done (even if it was just lounging because resting is good <3) but I also find this helpful when I am overwhelmed with emotions to stop mentally going in circle and slow done and understand myself and the situation.

- daily skincare routine. this is a great way to help yourself feel refreshed. as a morning person this helps me feel fresh and ready for the day and as part of my night routine, which I have to do early in the evening because i get vv sleepy and struggle to do it otherwise, helps me slow down for the night and prepare foe the next morning and it serves as a form of active meditation.

- set realistic goals. this can be difficult because we want to set goals that are parts of our dream lives, and that's not to say you can never get your dream life, but there's steps you have to take to get there, you can't just leap into it, so setting realistic goals can serve as motivation for getting there. but have these goals you are more likely to succeed.

- never give up. this goes back to the previous realistic goals, having these realistic goals it can help you stay motivated to not give up, but not giving up is still hard. your motivation can't be exclusively outside yourself. find something within yourself that can be your reason for staying on top of your goals, your reason for getting up when you don't want to.

- work hard. every day, you need to choose it, and that is exhausting, but working hard can include resting. giving up is only half of the equation you need to add hard work. I think the best equation for your dream life is (M(W+P)=dream life) M representing manifestation, W representing working hard and P representing perseverance <3