#i just want to suspend myself in the feeling for a little while longer

[glitterghost]

I just need to go lie down in a field to daydream ☁️☀️🌾

[gumycandyyy]

worries about mouthwashing.

warning, rant under the cut!!

i just got into the game.

yes I have media literacy, no i'm not ableist (i'm disabled myself), no I don't woobify the characters (sometimes I do low effort doodles that come out silly, but everyone looks woobified, not just a select few), no i'm not a bad person.

But I need a good end AU that I can make without feeling guilty. I've already had someone yell at me that skin grafts and prosthetics on Curly are ableist. I just want them to be happy. It's scifi shit. It's unrealistic, I know, but please for the love of god let me be happy. let me comfort these characters. let me draw them with medical procedures that aren't 100% realistic. please.

and i'm not talking about giving Curly those good looks he had previously, i'm talking about the good looks that come with immense scarring and incomplete facial structures. because GUESS WHAT, THAT'S PRETTY AS WELL.

I'm conflicted, because I want this to be realistic enough for those that want it, but I want to be able to think about these characters without wanting to cry. I want Curly to admit he was wrong and cowardly to Anya and that she was right and prove his remorsefulness by actions to make things right. Not fix, but make right. I want Anya to feel autonomy and get the justice she deserves by her own hands. I want Daisuke to be able to prove to his parents that he can be responsible and help care for others while still being fun. I want Swansea to be able to live out the rest of his time with his wife without the worry of a job or stress. ALSO I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH CURLY'S SITUATION WITHOUT INFANTALIZING HIM?? WHY DO PEOPLE ASSUME I'M BABYING HIM WHEN I SAY I WANT HIM TO NOT HURT???

I want these characters to be happy. If it's unrealistic, who gives a shit? Mouthwashing has heavy themes, but the game itself is incredibly unrealistic as a premise. Just suspend your disbelief a little longer, it's not that hard. They're in space. I don't have to take everything dead seriously.

also for the love of god don't reply to this with seven paragraphs. I said all of this so I don't have to argue about it later. My mental state is bad enough already. Let me have this.

(link to a part two)

[postoctobrist]

When me and my friends were young (but not that young) our small hometown town somehow got the money to build a 1000ft long pedestrian suspension bridge. We were bored and found that if we grabbed the suspension cable at its lowest point and pushed and pulled it at the right frequency we could slowly build up oscillations in the bridge. You could feel the walkway swaying underneath us and see the movement in the main suspension cable. We would do this with several people with one person counting out the beat until the oscillations got so large that the suspenders attaching the walk way to the main cable started to slam into the hand rail and make a horrible clanging noise. Then we would all be scared, and no longer bored so we would stop.

While doing this I was aware of the differential equations describing first and second order resonance in elastic structures with and without dampening. I had studied several engineering disasters where cyclic loading close to some multiple of the resonance frequency lead to collapse of buildings and bridges. It is a small town and I was bored.

I am bad at transitions, and I would like to ask for advice/articulate something. Mostly to force myself to articulate thoughts I have never spoken about, and you do not have to read all this. Because it is very long and large parts of it are honestly pretty horrible. I have for some time been making a very conscious effort to not think about "my gender". Because I felt that there would be no use in thinking about myself through that lens. Telling myself that I can do whatever I want regardless of gender. This seemed to work for me except I find myself paralyzed. I cannot imagine myself in a romantic or sexual relationship. Romantic or sexual attention I receive feels like it is intended for somebody else. Even in situations that should be simple where attraction is mutual I feel confused and conflicted. As I write this I am wearing clothes somebody gave to me almost a decade ago, they have holes in them and I never really considered what they look like to other people. A couple times a year when I make budget or apply for a job etc I thin about the future but only ever a year or two ahead. This future blindness gets so bad I often can't even make plans for the weekend. I find myself looking at my reflection as if trying to find something wrong with my appearance but I couldn't put my finger on any specific flaw. I look like an attractive man, what else could I ask for.

I have recently allowed myself to think about this and I am not sure that it is helping. I realize now that being a man can be an exhausting constant effort for me, and that certain things that I have been doing can alleviate this pressure. When I wear my long hair down, I do not imagine that I have become a women, but the act of wearing my long hair down and shaving my entire face is not something I would do to look like the manliest man. This almost symbolic rejection of my internal drive to act as a man has a profound effect on me. Especially when I am alone I find this very calming, my mind is a little quieter, my breathing is a little deeper.

However in public this is often over shadowed by a new discomfort. My already ever present sense of danger in public is heightened. Around many men I feel physically unsafe, as if a threat of violence lies just under the surface of every interaction. Around women my discomfort around men and with myself seem to combine and I cannot shake the feeling that I will make them feel unsafe. Making women feel unsafe makes me unsafe and so on. All this is worse the more feminine I am.

My small symbolic gestures of femininity in private would seem to have no real downside. Their benefits seem to come into effect as soon as stop trying to look masculine. However in the perception of others I feel a pressure to appear either completely man or women. I now find myself trying to appear feminine and this might be worse. Outside perception of me feels completely beyond my control. Which is a good excuse for me to repress any thoughts or feelings about it. I want to accept that this is outside my control, and also that I desperately want to control it.

Some of things I believe about this view of me from the outside are not things I would ever want to put on anyone else. I have never seen a person that would look worse with some musculature, and have always found strong people aesthetically pleasing and attractive. I enjoy being strong, it practical utility, the sense of security it provides me, and as an accomplishment I am proud of. Yet at the same time I sometimes find myself revolted by my muscles. My size, my veins, my bones, nothing about them is wrong except that they are there.

I feel I need to juxtapose any feminine attributes against my masculine ones (one earring is allowed but with short hair. Long hair is allowed in a bun but with stubble). To appear as a feminine man and not a failed attempt at manliness. Is this my reaction to a societal pressure or my own misandry against weak men? I have no way of knowing. Similarly I feel that the only way to be extremely feminine or a woman would be to subject myself to sexual objectification, and infantilization ("femboys" are only feminine as long as they are somebodies fetish and because they are boys and not adults). Again I cannot say if this is my reaction to a societal trend or my own judgement on other people. Either way I cannot help but feel that this pedophilic degrading view of femininity and women is a moral sin I have committed. Yet what possible use could there be in applying a moral judgement on my own thoughts? I don't choose to feel or think these things. I don't want to wear booty shorts, or dress up like a princess. Do I think less of those who do? If don't subject myself to this degradation in exchange for femininity will it be because I have the self respect of a man? Or is it just cowardice.

I don't want to look like a trans women. I want what my grandma has. She is a matriarch. The varicose veins on her arms, her short hair, a raspy laugh, a double mastectomy, these things are just the type of women she is. She is a mother of mothers. She might not be asked to pray over the meal, but her wisdom is an open secret among those that are really looking for ruthlessly honest advice. She must enjoy wearing jewelry (or she wouldn't bother) but never seems to take it too seriously. When telling a story about how she fought a bear off her daughters or cracking a joke about how she will die any day now her womanhood is so effortless, so inconsequential, so in the background that it almost seems almost useless.

oh my fucking god lady just take the fucking estrogen

[yelenasdiary]

Yes sorry. So if it’s going to be adhd maybe in a meeting reader doesn’t catch up with the explanation of the mission and it fails?? So the commander (make it an OC so we don’t hate anyone) is disappointed and blames reader and punishment (yk) later her girlfriend(s) and the avengers (or the ones that know you can choose) defend her and comfort her? I don’t know I’m not very inspired rn so if you want to save this request for later it’s completely fine.❤️❤️❤️

-🐚

We're a Team, A Family!

Pairing: WandaNat x ADHD! Reader

Summary: After a mission goes wrong, you are blamed and punished for it, leaving your girlfriends to take care of you for a little misunderstanding. 

Angst | Fluff | Comfort | Light Language Warning | 1.5K | 

Translation: moya lyubov (my love), 

OG Ask: Yayyy tomorrow I will congratulate you! And for a request i loved your wanda x adhd!reader so if you could do another neurodivergent reader with Wanda/Nat/Wandanat (you choose) and really angsty but happy ending? ❤️❤️

AC: So sorry it took me a while to get around to this request, please remember that I do not have ADHD myself so I can never fully understand the struggles that come with having it. I write this based of research and if I have said anything wrong or misunderstood anything, please let me know. I hope you enjoy this x 

You racked your brain for what exactly your boss, Michael or, Mick for short, was basically yelling at you for. A mission that only now made sense to you, failed. A simple job, in an out kind of mission that during the mission run down just simply just went over your head. It was your fault, all you can remember is that your mind was running what felt like a million miles per second and was clouded with the excitement of going on a movie date with your girlfriends, Wanda and Natasha. 

"You're suspending from any missions for two weeks!" Mick snapped, you swore you could see the vein in the middle of his forehead, he was mad. "But sir!" you tried to plead, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I promise!" you added but the man shook his head, "once is one too many times! What happens is something more serious happened? What if somebody died?! What if you died?!" He looked at you, dead in the eyes. "I won't risk it. Two weeks of desk duty, that's final!" he added. 

You left his office with a sigh, trying to hold back your tears as you made your way back to your room. Mick had only been on the team as the new leader for a few months and you couldn't help but feel that he didn't understand that sometimes things can be a little tricky for you. He knew you had ADHD but still, he refused to make sure that you were okay and instead it's like that detail about you slipped his mind. 

Wanda walked into the room with a soft smile, she had just gotten back from a shopping trip with Maria to get groceries for the compound when she saw you under the covers sobbing quietly to yourself. 

"Honey, what's wrong?" Wanda asked in a soft tone, gently pulling the covers back to see that you'd been crying for longer than 5 minutes. "Oh, love" she added when you looked at her, tears soaking your face as you sat up. Wanda wasted no time in shuffling next to you and wrapping her arms around you, placing a soft kiss on your temple. "What's going on?" she asked in a gentle tone. 

"It's mick. He's put me on desk duty for the mission that south" you replied just as Natasha walked into the room, her happy expression quickly turning to concern the moment she saw you in tears wrapped in Wanda's arms. Instantly, she doesn't care whatever was on her mind as she joined Wanda and sat on the other side beside you. 

"What's with the tears darling?" she asked, gently taking one of your hands and stroking your knuckles with her thumb. 

"Mick is pissed with me because of the last mission, my mind was everywhere during the mission rundown, and I didn't catch everything that was said. Because of that and the mission failing, he's put me on desk duty for two weeks!" you explained, tears of anger quickly filled your eyes once more as Wanda gently stroked you back for comfort. 

This wasn't the first time Mick had brought tears to your eyes and Natasha had had enough of the new leader's harshness towards you. Nat sent a look to Wanda as to say she was going to have her own set of words with the man while Wanda would stay and look after you. 

"It'll be okay moya lyubov" Natasha placed a kiss on the top of your hand, "I'm going to go get some of your favourite snacks, is there anything you would like?" she asked. She knew if she told you what she was really going off to do that you would stop her and tell her you didn't need her to fight your battles for you. "Some ice cream? Please?" You looked at your girlfriend who just smiled softly and nodded before making her way out of the room. 

Nat made her way to the compounds living room where Tony, Steve, Bucky, Thor and Bruce sat around talking about things the red head didn't care about. "We've got to talk to Michael!" she announced, nothing but the need to protect you filled her mind. 

"What's he done now?" Bruce asked. 

Natasha explained the situation from what you had told her and instantly the men's moods switched. They weren't happy with the way Mick had treated you and agreed with Natasha that something had to change. Not another minute was wasted before the six avengers made their way down the hall to Micks office. 

Meanwhile, Wanda was made to get your tears to come to a stop as she kept you close to her, stroking your back and telling you sweet nothings while you waited for Natasha to return with your comfort food. "I just wish he would be a little more understanding" you sighed as Wanda gently wiped the tears from your cheeks. "I know sweetheart, he will, trust me" she replied with a soft smile. 

"Mick, we need to talk!" Natasha spoke with sternness as she and the others welcomed themselves into the leader's office. The man looked up from the documents in front of him and placed his pen down. "I don't want to hear it Natasha" he spoke. 

"I don't care. You will hear it. You need to back off on Y/n! They're doing their best, they're a great avenger, they help keep this team together! You upset them, you upset us, all of us! Now, I know you've only been here for a short amount of time, but this is a family. We don't treat one another like crap, we understand each other, and we help on another. So whatever you have against Y/n stops now!"

"Natasha, you need to understand that without punishment, nobody around here is going to learn. Y/n messed up big time and I refuse to have somebody on this team die because they are incapable of listening to some important information!" Michael rose from his seat, looking Natasha in the eyes. 

"And you need to understand that you're not like us" Tony stepped forward, "you don't understand what it is we do. Shield sent you to watch over us and I get that but none of us like you, none of us want you here. Truth be told, none of us listen to you, we make our own plans, we work as a team. One too many times have you upset Y/n and we are all over it" he adds. 

Michael's eyes scanned the room as he saw there was no winning, he hated his job, less drama the better the thought. "Fine, but if this happens again, I'm speaking to nick!" He slumped himself down in his seat in defeat. 

"Considering Nick saved Y/n and brought them to us; I don't think he's going to side you either" Natasha smirked before leaning slightly forward to make sure Michael was listening to her next words. "If you upset my girlfriend or anybody else on this team again, I promise you that you won't make it home to your pathetic little life. Do I make myself clear" 

With a sigh and defeated nod, Michael understood and made a mental promise to himself to get a transfer before it was too late. The others left his office proud of themselves, after months of wanting to get rid of him, they believe they finally did it. 

"Is Y/n okay?" Steve asked as they walked back to the living room. 

"After I get them some ice cream, I think they'll be okay" Natasha smiled softly.

----

Later that night you were in bed, cuddled up closely to your girlfriends while picking at the takeout that was ordered while the three of you watched trashy movies that made you forget how upset you were today. Wanda twirled with your hair while Natasha drew random shapes on your shoulder. 

Usually, you would be the first to fall asleep but to both you and Natasha's surprise, it was Wanda. Her soft snores made you and Nat smile softly to one another before Nat made sure the three of you were covered by the covers. "Thank you, Nat" you spoke ever so softly, not wanting to wake Wanda. 

"For what cutie?" Nat smiled softly, placing a kiss on your forehead. 

"You know what" you playfully raised a brow at her, "for talking to Mick" you added.

Natasha gently brushed her thumb over your cheek, "nobody has the right to make you feel the way you did today, nobody. Mistakes happen and I know you would never intentionally put any of us in danger. I think Mick will be gone before the end of the week and if not, if he ever upsets my love ever again, he knows what's to come. Get some rest, we'll do something fun tomorrow to really help forget about today" she smiled softly once more at you before gently pressing her lips against yours.

Taglist: @itsmv3 | @katiemay-025 | @romanoffs-widow | @maria-403 | @boredandneedfanfics | @wandamaximoffspuppup | 

[nipuni]

Time for an old school blog post, Hello!

Just various updates about life and shows and clothes and some photos! Adding a read more cut because I talk too much 😊

Happy equinox everyone!! The mild weather has been wonderful for daily park walks. We have been taking our meals outside as often as we can to make the most of it before summer scorches the land and all life. The longer days allow for a lot more wandering too but the imminent return of the heat is also making the longing to move up north worse by the day. We miss the choppy ocean and seaside cliffs 😭 We love the silence and the rain and the nippy sea breeze!! it's like being suspended in early spring for half the year and a rainy autumn the other half, Ideal if you don't mind humidity, but that's what wellies and flat caps are for. We have been looking for properties to rent to show up everyday so for now we lie in wait.

Speaking of nature, a few months ago we discovered a free app called Plantnet that you use to take and upload photos of plants, trees, flowers and it will identify them for you. You keep a log with their locations and can share them too to help contribute to each local biodiversity database. It feels like a pokedex for plants. There are many apps like this one to choose from too. It's been so fun learning what all these plants are called and memorizing them! I recommend it, is like a little educational side quest to take on while stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. This is not an ad I promise lmao I just think it's neat! kind of sad feeling the need to clarify that.

This weather is also making me want to start making outfit posts again! It's been so long since I made any!! my winter wardrobe is mostly long wool coats or capes and boots so the inspiration wasn't there but now I'm ready to pull out all my stuff back from under my bed storage and experiment again 👏 I've also been meaning to share some of Nicolas outfits for ages too so there is more variety, could be fun!

Speaking of clothes, lately I've grown more and more frustrated with how poorly most clothes fit me to the point where I'm considering learning how to make them from scratch. I usually have to take in the tops and hem the bottoms but most things I try on are just built weird even if I fix the size, or maybe I'm built weird! I think it may be both. Nicolas also said he would love to learn along with me so we will probably embark on that adventure soon. OH and on a short tangent, I got myself a sort of binder-like top that flattens the chest a bit and I'm loving it! I'm very flat already but what little bust I do have has always bothered me when I dress and I've found I feel a lot more comfortable in this type of top. I'm glad I tried it out so if you feel similarly you may want to give it a go too, see how it feels!

On the media side of things we have also been watching more of David Tennant's work. We are still very much in love with him to an embarrassing degree, you can probably tell if you follow me anywhere, my likes on twitter alone give me away alksjdf and Nicolas isn't any better! if he used social media his would look the same lmao.

Since my last report we have watched and absolutely LOVED "There She Goes" we already want to watch it again honestly. The family dynamics for all his characters are always so real and refreshing!! Their relationship with their wives especially are always so believable in every series we've seen, the comfort and camaraderie, the banter and just friendship! You can tell they enjoy each other's company, it feels true. I love it so much!!

We also watched "Inside man" which was..a very stressful mess but David was incredible as always, also very hot and very pitiful which is always great, and Stanley Tucci was on it! so that's also fun.

Then we rewatched season one of Good Omens and the first 4 seasons of Doctor Who, with all the extra content like the Confidentials, deleted scenes, video diaries and more, they are just so good!! our list of favourite episodes keeps growing, season four is incredible, we are loving all these seasons even more the second time around!! Now we are probably going to start watching either Classic Who or Torchwood, along with more of David's work. We were trying to pick what to watch during dinner the other day and Nicolas was like 'damn, David is not in this though, I miss him' and lmao same so now we just watch one show without him and one with him right after to cope 😂

OH we have also been doing more historical reenactment! Since the last one in the 20's we jumped back to Regency times. We have been putting our outfits together for a ball soon and hopefully another one in autumn in the UK 😊 1800 is the farthest back in time we've been yet so it's been fun doing research, finding pieces and learning the dances in class but also very hectic. I'll share more about this soon!

Then we also have a couple of 1900 events coming soon, so I'll be sharing more Edwardian looks as well, our favourite era!!

Anyway I think that's all for now, thanks for reading to whoever is doing so!! I know this is long and not a popular blogging format anymore but I enjoy it a lot, maybe some of you do too 🥰 I will reply to some messages soon, I'm so sorry I'm so bad at keeping up with those!! I've read them all and cherish every word 🥺 Thank you for supporting my art and shenanigans as always!! I hope you have a great week!!

[reedsofintimacy]

Hi everyone! Welcome to my bio! (It's a long one)

You can call me Reeds or Reed. Some basic facts:

💚 I am 25

💚 I am 6'4 = 193cm

💚 I am American

💚 I am ethnically Scandinavian

💚 I speak basic Français and 汉语

💚 I am a virgin 😇 I've actually never had my first kiss

💚 I wear glasses and am definitely a nerd

💚 I am straight

My tags:

#Ask Reeds - my ask responses

#ReedsPosts - my misc short posts

#ReedsWrites - my longer form writing

#ReedsIRL - photos/audio/media of me

I have a snap with the same username and am finally verified on PH! But i haven't posted anything yet.

This bio will be a bit long, so for more info on everything about me click below! 🥳

💚 POSITIONS AND ROLES 💚

I'm a top, meaning I enjoy the act of pleasuring my partner more than having my partner be focused on stimulating me. If we had to pick a position, I'd want it to be the one that feels best to her, because seeing her loving it is what thrills me, less about min-maxing my own sensations

I lean a bit subby, meaning I'd prefer my woman to be in charge and take the lead, but I can be flexible and switch. Society has (sadly 🎻) not created many women who feel naturally comfortable bossing men around in the bedroom or elsewhere and really enjoy it. That's fine, I mostly just want to pamper my partner. Whether that's through worship and service as a sub myself, or spoiling a pillow princess submissive as more of a dom. It feels less natural to me, but when I see how happy and needy it makes her I'm very happy to give it my best 🩷 but I can't do super mean aggressive slap-slap-slap "what did you say to me!?" *punish *punish it just isnt in me.

So combining those two (top and sub), I like the sort of woman who while we're hanging out would decide she wants her pussy eaten, and so would spread her legs, and begin tugging a bit at me coaxing "babyy~ i think you need a little snack~ 😈🫦" and then watch a huge bulge form in my pants as my face makes contact with her thighs and I greedily service her until she can't take it anymore and pulls me up to kiss her instead.

Or while we're in a fitting room shopping for clothes would lift up her skirt, revelaing she isnt wearing any panties, and lean in giving me a big hickey and whisper "you're going to breed me in this fitting room 💋" and giggle as she leaned over into the position that always felt the best for her, eyeing my blushing red embarassed face, hesitating. "Or else I'll moan 👅💕" she'd threaten and tease, but silence herself with a bite of her lip when she felt me slide in and fill her, her personal fucktoy thrusting just the way she taught him until she gets everything she wanted, and then praises me with a "thank you, good boy 🥰😘" enjoying the helpless puddle I've now been turned into. Then slide her pants back on and walk out of the room with her pet's sperm still leaking down her thigh, off to go keep browsing while waiting for me to collect myself.

💚 FETISHES AND KINKDOM 💚

I'm fine with just plain vanilla sex ofc all cuddly and lovey with little growls of "you're mine 🫦"

🩵 BDSM ❓️

I'm not into bdsm like sadomasochism and pain play. Wax, knives, whips, black leather. I just don't get the appeal, I'm soft and sweet. Some light bondage to mix things up, collaring, etc is all fine but not too much beyond that.

🩵 Pegging ❌️

I am *not* into pegging 🙀 (gasp) I know. Heresy. But I don't want anything in my butt, see the above about topping. Although being pinned down and her riding her clit against my bottom to masturbate herself...😏💦

🩵 Humiliation & Praise

I like the idea of humiliation but anytime I've actually heard it its been super cringe. The fantasy of the "popular girls" inviting me to a sleepover just to watch how easy i get hard then pin me down and toy with me knowing whatever they show me would be the most I've ever seen, etc is really sexy to me 🫠 but the moment a real human voice is roleplaying it idk I find it hard to suspend disbelief and not be overly aware of myself and feel silly. Maybe its the anxiety disorder. Praise is always nice 🥰

🩵 Service

I consider myself a service top sub and love to worship and please someone, whatever it is that makes them turned on. That can be giving lots and lots of head and getting my face ridden 😍 or using my hands for her, or giving a foot massage, or chest kneading, or holding her book as she reads, or brushing her hair, or carrying her things, or worshipping her butt with kisses, smooching her tummy, clitwarming her in my mouth while she reads, etc. I love to be useful to someone and that extends to in the bedroom. Bonus if it comes with praise for doing a good job.

🩵 Breeding 💦

Creampies are so sexy, i dunno why you'd want to finish anywhere else. There's something so posessive about insemination and the idea of fertility and a cervix and womb thats just very 🥵. I also think the body changes associated with pregnancy are very sexy. Getting a cute tummy bump and swollen leaky breasts the prove I'm claimed to you now is yummy. But i dont think i want kids, definitely not right now, and theres nothing sexy about labor pains or abortions lol so for now this is more of a mental fantasy kink. But if they invented a birth control pill that still simulated the tummy and tits a bit and needed a particular potency and cycle timing to activate i would be alllll over it 😍😍 also maternity clothes are so cute.

🩵 Dry humping & grinding

I'm a very big virgin, so sometimes overly forward stuff just overloads my senses like blowing out a photograph with sunlight and i dont get much out of it. With dry humping the motions, the desperation, the longing for whats behind her panties but not quite getting it, the involvement of her clit which will feel really nice for her, how she rocks her hips controlling exactly what tempo will make her go absolutely crazy its just so needy and cute and sexy. Id love someone able to get off just by desperately rubbing agsinst my throbby bulge.

🩵 Posession, Lipstick stains, & Hickeys

Possession is very sexy and what better way than cute lipstick marks stamping me as owned. Or a collar, or her name written in sharpie on my underwear, or bites just under the shirt line. I want it all I want to be so so hers.

🩵 Lactation 🙈

Idk if the actual milk would be warm and gross irl but the idea that you can suckle someones pretty tits so hard it makes them leak, and that milk pressure builds up and gets achy needing to be relieved by a subs mouth is very 💦💦💦 plus needed to go through breeding to activate it usually is kinda naughty in a "I did this to you" type of way.

🩵 Me as a Dom

As far as being more of a dom goes, I think I actually prefer the ddlg side of things, which I think is currently out of style and unpopular. But I like the dynamic lending itself to pampering and spoiling someone and being more focused on sweetness relative to just being some sort of master figure. Also like littlespace gear is still so cute like pacis and onesies will be adorable forever its such a mix of cutesy girly and a bit humiliating for someone to wear that I really think it works 🩷When I identified more as a dom I kinda always wanted an abdl sub to baby and still think its cute and degrading and hot & am embarassed to admit that, I never e-dated anyone who actually did it. 💖 but if I'm the sub, while I have a mommy kink I'm not into regression or any of that stuff myself

🩵 Omo/pee (her, not me) sounds spicy and is hot to watch, idk if it'd gross me out irl. I used to be really into videos of girls wetting their pants or panties and something about it is still strangely hot. Have a tiny maybe fantasy of a girl making out with me straddling my lap and then just letting her bladder go as we kiss and grind soaking us both. 🙈

🩵 Collaring and petplay is cute, I'd totally wear one for her.

🩵 Getting referred to as "my little white boy" by a nonwhite person with a thing for white guys (🙈🙈 SHUTUP!!)

🩵 Minor humiliation like being teased by her panties or sat on/used as a stool etc

🩵 Not really an irl thing but in hentai when the girl is overstuffed and you can see the bulge pushing up her tummy 🥵

🩵 Corruption, of either of us and especially me.

🩵 Dirty Talk

One of my absolute favorite things to do is get to talk to someone as they touch themselves 🩷 turning them on with my fantasies and then begging them to please please please cum, spamming my words as they release so they can just read and not have to type just feel like im there with them 🥰

💚 MY "TYPE" IN WOMEN 💚

My taste in women irl is that I always have the biggest crush on the kindest girl 🙈 like the one who's proactive and honestly makes me feel bad for not being a better person when I'm around her. Someone who listens, has a big heart, Christmas is her favorite holiday just because of the cheer and her sweet childhood memories and she thinks its cute to hold hands. Who focuses on the positives whenever possible and wouldn't compromise her ideals to fit in socially. Not into gossip or putting people down, is nice to strangers, waitresses, etc. I think you get the point. Something about those sort of people imprints deep into my heart 💟

I am into successful, intelligent, driven women. Like "I was the president of ___ club, I'm a ___ position in this company, I have a degree in ___, I speak ___ and ___ languages, I play the ___" it all makes me just 🥵🥵🥵. I'd love someone who has some sort of public skill/hobby like playing in an orchestra 😍 or doing community theater or playing in a sports team, anything where I can show up and get to be a cheerleader like 🥹😻 that's my baby up there!!! And get to clap and cheer and compliment how she did I just think would be super cute and fun. Then take her out to dinner afterward for doing such a good job ⭐️

I don't find typical domme-aesthetic things like -- *Smoking *Vapes *Weed *Lots of tattoos *Short hair *Goth vibes *fishnets *dyed hair *promiscuous *into knives and blood -- to be very attractive personally. Just not my type.

I'm more into miss innocent church girl, honors student valedictorian who secretly has had a high sex drive awakened and guess who walked right into her trap 👀💦 she secretly corrupted herself and now she's going to corrupt me 🙈❤️‍🔥

I totally get the sex appeal around the bully type domme who is all tough, even if she shows you her sweet side, and that sounds super hot on paper but idk irl I just don't seem to be into people who are actually that way. Its very "sexy" but it isn't compatible on a deeper layer

I don't really care about age. Obviously they *must* be legal but college student who is younger than me vs someone my age vs milf who is a bit older it's all a wash. All have their distinct appeal. All get a 👍.

Height is also inconsequential. I mean I'm (6'4 193cm) or thereabouts so I'm nearly always going to be a fair bit taller than my partner regardless of her height. I think the size difference is cute, something about having a 4' in your height is just idk a bit hot? Lol but i have no real preference I like the whole spectrum and never really think about height, and hypothetically if I *could* find a woman who's my height or taller, that'd be sexy too 🥰 Different flavors but all delicious.

I am a genuine fan of both more curvy and more skinny body types, but less so each extreme. A slim figure and grabbable waist i can fit my hand around and a lil *pow* booty is scrumptious, but if she's so skinny its like borderline unhealthy and it feels like id break her if I grab her wrong and I can see all her bones 😬. Of course I'm very happy to support a partner struggling with an ed or who has had one in the past, but I want my darling more than anything to be healthy. Likewise curvy people can be extremely yummy 😋😍, I love a curvy tummy in a bikini it oozes fertility. but if its to the extent it prevents her from going on cute lil hikes with me and creates health problems then I'd want to help her workout and cook her some homemade healthier food so she can feel better and be more energized and well. But purely aesthetically ❤️ curvyness is a yes. So are stock standard body types ❤️

Breasts and everything to do with the body is actually kinda gravy because for me its the *face* that I'm attracted to and the body is just the fun present that comes along for the ride. Nothing about someones chest size or whatever would make me unattracted to them if i liked their face. Buttt obviously a full chest is nice, but i hesistate to say big because it really depends on weight and body. Fullness relative to body type so that it 🥳 pops is most sexy. So a skinnier girl will be a smaller size, but being skinny and still having a fairly prominent bosom makes it 🥳 pop. Likewise being curvy will grow the size, but some people already big will now develop 💥turbo milkers💥 that 🥳 pop. So its less about surface area or bra size and more about protrusion from the chest, and ofc big is nice ❤️ that being said an itty bitty chest while independently less sexy becomes part of a persons vibe and fits into the whole which as a connected body can be very attractive 💋 Plus then you get to wear pretty bralettes. I'm not really hyper aware of tit sizes but I did want to explain what I think most guys mean when they say they like "big tits" but also we dont pay that close attention a boob is a boob and theyre all fun so just 🩷 love your body mkay?

Bootys i notice less person to person, theres just like 3% of the population that has 💥💥 in their pants and *also* dresses to accentuate it and show it off and look we all think those people are 🤤🤤 like making a protruded lil mound out of their tight jeans or rocking some yoga pants or leggings. Hottie hot hot but 97% of us have unremarkable normal butts.

One thing I *am* really into, the closest thing I have to a "type" is long hair ✨️✨️. Like i have never seen a girl with hair past her butt I didn't want to marry. Mid-back 😀 waist length 😃 past butt 🤪 the longer the better. Idk what it is it just seduces and intoxicates me its so pretty. I know its such a pita for women to maintain which is why its very rare, and my partner can have her hair however she wants it i wouldnt want her to suffer for me, but super long hair is just goddess tier its like the one physical attribute i have a clear robust preference on. Short hair indeed can be cute but long hair will always win in my heart. Straight, a bit wavy, curly honestly it doesnt matter that much its all gorgeous. Long hair my beloved 💕 may i have my lady sit on my lap and allow me to brush it for her some day. I want to help wash it and learn 1,000 ways to style it for her, although hanging free is the best 😍

People have different physical sensitivities, and I think I prefer having a pretty sensitive partner. I've had before during sexting where I'd spend 3 hours naughty talking someone and sexting while they touch and still just barely cum by the end, and other partners where we'd be going 20 mins and she'd go 🥺 I'm really close and I'd beg her to let it go and then she'd release and then probably be too sensitive to even go again for a whole day. That was soooo cute and sweet to me. Since I love pleasing someone so much getting that validation more quickly was really nice and also fit my schedule better, and it would be so creamy and throbby and pulsy when she was done it made my eyes roll back to just watch it. And she'd have to be so careful about how much she touched or it would ache even if she was soaked and horny still. It was really endearing ❤️ everyone is different and needs different amounts of time but I'd prefer someone where I can pour everything into a really great 30 or 40 mins as opposed to being up all night trying to get them off. Being especially creamy is also a plus 🤭

I'm totally fine with someone who is a little too tight and has to be really gentle with themselves, its cute and I don't mind at all if most days all she can tolerate is a gentle tonguing and some kissing. Same with if she's too sensitive and has to stop early before I finish, so long as she gets off and is satisfied I'm a happy camper 😇💖 But nothing wrong with stamina either

So concludes the sexual information!

💚 About Me Personally 💚

🩵 I am musical 🎶

I play the guitar 🎸 and previously played the drums 🥁 and piano 🎹 and even have a clarinet

🩵 I'm a big reader 📖

I have a particular interest in Classical Eastern Literature and have read things like the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the Valmiki Ramayana, Journey to the West etc. I'm a big fan of classics in general, my favorite book of all time is the Count of Monte Cristo

I also have been getting into classical SciFi, been reading a lot of PKD and some Dan Simmons and Kurt Vonnegut and it's been really enjoyable so far.

🩵 I'm a programmer

I can do fullstack web development from html to nginx and work mostly within the dotnet ecosystem.

🩵 I'm a nerd en général

I love learning things. My first love is the sciences, I went to college for chemistry. I would love to have time to improve my terrible math skills and pick up Korean as a another language, and want to level up my world history especially with regards to Africa and Southeast Asia both of which I am fairly unacquainted with.

You can talk to me about productivity systems, desk setups, fountain pens, video games, and other weird nerd things.

🩵 I want to travel

I've never left the US and one day would love to get to see more of the world.

🩵 I do some amateur writing

I enjoy making my lil erotica mini stories here, and also sometimes in my freetime plan out silly novels and short stories never to be published but just for fun.

💚 I think I'll end things here for now, there's definitely more to me but that should be an effective enough primer. If you made it this far and havent dm'd me...wtf is wrong with you?? We're basically already friends now? 😘

[balkanradfem]

So as you mayhaps now, I'm spending my summer preserving and drying food, and a big part of it is cutting up and drying zuchinni, which comes in every day and is impossible to keep up with. I made my own little drying stations by taking some produce nets that my roommates brought home, and sewing them onto cardboard boxes. This meant the net was suspended and I could put tomatoes, zuchinni, mushrooms, peppers or whatever I wanted to dry, on top of it, and leave it in the sun, and it'd be dried in two days.

Now this worked for the first few years, but now my plastic nets are falling apart. I've been trying to mend them, sew multiple ones together, but the plastic is too weak and is no longer staying in one piece. I have one little drying box left, and have to figure out a new solution to this (current produce nets are so weak I can't use them).

So, yesterday when I was heading to the garden, I found this big round netted-looking thing left next to a trash container. At first I couldn't tell what it was, but I was immediately thinking, omg, I could dry food on this thing, look at it, it's strong. Coming closer, I recognized it was a piece of a cooling fan; apparently someone's fan broke and they threw the wire bit away. The net wasn't fine enough to be good for drying vegetables; I could see how my small cherry tomatoes and mushrooms would fall trough. So I left it there.

But I couldn't forget about it. It just looked... so neat. I liked that netted circle. I became obsessed with figuring out various ways I could make a basket out of this, and harvest produce in it. I wanted to use it for something so badly. Finally, my mind conducted a perfect idea; I could tie strings onto the edges, suspend it, and hang it from the ceiling, and then keep all my fresh produce on it. This way, my produce wouldn't be taking up any counter space, it would be so beautiful suspended in the air on this round net circle, and since it's metal it could last forever. I could come home and put all my produce on a hanging basket and then just stare at it for hours.

Incredibly excited, I headed out and got my beautiful piece of fan.

Carrying it around my apartment, it immediately became obvious that there's no potential place where I could suspend it from; the ceilings in the building only have light bulbs hanging from them, and that's it. Nobody thought about how I might want to hang a basket and suspend it from the ceiling and keep my tomatoes in it, and I think that's on them. When I'm making my future home, I'm going to fill the ceiling with support for stuff hanging from it. That's how I'll use this, I decided, it's going to be a hanging produce basket for the place I build for myself. It'll be perfect and I'm already excited for it.

But then, I was confronted with the amount of zuchinni I needed to dry that day, and had another realization; while this net is too wide for cherry tomatoes or mushrooms, zuchinni slices are wide. They can fit in there no problem. And this is so big, I could dry a lot of it. I just need to wash it. I can put it on top of a cardboard box and not worry about it. They can't even slide off because the edges are curved in. And then later, I could weave my own hanging basket for the produce I want to suspend in my future kitchen.

And so, the problem of deteriorating plastic net was solved. I am now drying zuchinni on this incredible round net object. I am going to have so much dry zuchinni this winter. I feel like I resolved this issue in the funniest way possible, but the solution is effective and long-lasting.

[anime-owo-kage-san]

Husk rescuing Angel from Valentino or pretty much any danger in general is still my favorite —incredibly common but still favorite— huskerdust trope. Especially, him (whether in comics or in fanfics) carrying Angel in his arms and flying to safety —Aaaah! 🥺 That’s a whole fluffy dessert for me!

I try to find and read every fanfic and comic I see (AU or canon-divergent), especially the ones where Husk wins Angel’s contract from Valentino.

I know Angel Dust shouldn’t be subjected to being a damsel in distress, because there is more to his character. But, like… come on. While the sweet thing doesn’t really need protection, he needs to feel and know somebody will do it anyway.

Ofc, this is just my craving in fanworks.

As for canon and what I actually want to see happen in the show, to get Angel free from his contract:

1.) Angel shoots/stabs/etc. Val from the fucking front (with some slight hesitance because he technically ruined his clean-streak for doing it).

Oooor, what I like better, bc it involves Huskerdust:

2.) Husk invites both Angel and Valentino somewhere private, to make a bet through poker.

Husk: “One round of poker. You lose, Angel’s soul no longer belongs to you. You win, you get to keep his contract.”

Angel panics and tries to knock some sense into Husk, even though Valentino is disinterested in the whole thing and was going to say no anyway, but plot twist ——>

Angel: “Do I have to slap the fucking White Knight Syndrome outta ya!? I told ya, ya crazy motherfucker! I can handle myself!”

Husk: *smiles* “I know.” *hands Angel his the deck of cards* “Which is why I’m letting you, handle this. Go win your soul back, Legs.”

Angel: *shocked* “B-But that’s even worse! I only beat you, like… once in this game!”

Husk: “And you only need to beat Valentino once too. I know you can do it. But, if you think you can’t, well….” *smirks* “That’s why I’m here.”

Angel: “What do you mean…?”

Husk: “Since you suck at valuing yourself so much, I thought of giving you a better motivation to work with.”

Angel: “Better motivation…?”

Husk: *turns to Valentino* “There’s more; if you win, you not only get to keep Angel, but you get to have my soul too.”

Angel: “HUSK!”

Valentino: “HA! And why would I want the soul of a old rundown alley cat?”

Husk: “My soul is owned by Alastor. Imagine what Vox would think, about the idea of Alastor losing one of his souls to you.”

Angel: “Does Smiles know about this deal yer makin’ right now!?”

Husk: “Yes, he does. And he agreed to it.”

Valentino: *still disinterested* “Not convinced, gatito. You’re still not rubbing me the right way~”

Husk: “I’m not done. I’m not like any other soul, he owns.”

Valentino: “Mmhmm…”

Husk: “I have some information on why he disappeared for seven years. Not the complete context, but it’s still a big secret he definitely wouldn’t want any other overlords to find out about.”

Valentino: “Oh? Well, now that’s interesting. Voxxy would be pleased to hear anything about the radio demon.”

Angel: “Okay, does Smiles know about THAT!?”

Husk: “Hm? Nope. I’m completely fucked if he finds out I told the Vees what I know. He’ll definitely tear my soul apart and broadcast my screams longer than anyone else’s….”

Valentino: “I take it you want protection?”

Husk: “No. Not necessary. If my soul gets handed off to you, and I give you the needed information, you’re not obliged to protect me.”

Valentino: “Now you’re talking my language, gatito~ Game on. Come Angel! Prepare to lose your little boyfriend over here.”

Angel: *ignores Val and grabs Husk by the shoulders* “Husk! We’re leaving now! I don’t want anything horrible to happen to you!”

Husk: “And nothing will happen to me. I know you can do this. Or…. Am I being too full of myself to think you’d give your all for me?”

Angel: “Wh-What…?”

Husk: “I get it. We may be getting used to each other, but I’m not all that important enough to you!”

Angel: “Bullshit!” *grabs him by the suspenders* “You go through so much for my sake! What makes you think I won’t do the same!? I’d go through this hell twice, just to repay all the times you had to deal with me!”

Husk: *smiles softly and places a hand on his cheek* “Then go win this game, Legs.”

(Basically, instead of rescuing Angel himself, Husk tricks Angel into finally getting out of his contract, by putting his own life on the line).

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Hi! Can I Request Matt Jackson x Fem!Reader with the prompt “ What can I say? You were out of my league.”? Ty 💗

Out of my league 

This should have never happened, you were out of my league. How could someone like you fall for someone like me

Word count: 662

Main Masterlist. Matt Jackson Masterlist

Matt’s  Pov

This past year had been crazy, between getting suspended to All In, to say it was a rollercoaster of emotions would be an understatement. Though it made me appreciate all the things I have in my life, a perfect example, the woman of my dreams who lies in bed with me, head on my chest in a peaceful slumber. 

I wonder how I got so lucky, how someone like her fell for someone like me, but let's be honest it was more like how I fell for someone like her. I remember the day I first met Y/n all those years ago in Japan. She was cold, vicious, bad and everyone knew it, yet I found her so interesting. I would often find her smoking outside venues, she would roll her eyes at me everytime I commented how bad that was for her. As far as the way we lived life we were polar opposites. 

She smoked, drank, partied, had tattoos and people feared her. I would hear the rumors that she was a witch, practicing witchcraft during her spare time. She was a “spawn of Satan” while I was “a good christian boy”. I never drank, did drugs or smoked. Not even trying it, living the straight edge lifestyle that was the opposite of Y/n’s. I knew she was bad news but I was so drawn to her, it was like she had me in a trance. 

When I joined bullet club I was able to spend more time with Y/n since she helped form the club. During that time I got to know her, the real Y/n. Believe it or not we had a lot in common. Soon enough we would often go out together after shows and talk for hours, just as friends but during these conversations I found myself falling in love with her and I hated myself for it. I knew she would never want someone like me, I knew I should not be with someone like her but her presence was like a drug, her scent made me intoxicated, I needed her. Why would a bad girl want to be with a good guy, everyone knows that’s not how it works. 

I told Kenny about my feelings towards Y/n and was shocked when he told me to bite the bullet and ask her out for real. 

***

“I think you're overthinking this Matt. Just ask her out, the worst thing that could happen is her saying no and it’s awkward for a little while” Kenny told me 

“But she is going to say no. Why would she want to be with someone like me?” I told Kenny 

“Look Matt, I’ve known Y/n for years, longer than I’ve known you, I know her type. She normally goes for softer guys and I don’t mean you're soft but I’m saying you have a chance here. We both know she isn’t anywhere near as cruel as she makes it seem.” Kenny was right

***

“Would you like to go out with me?” I asked Y/n nervously 

“Like on a date?” She responded 

“Yeah, on a date” 

“Yeah, I would really like that Matt” 

“Really? I’m surprised you said yes” I told her truthfully

“Why would I say no?” 

“I didn’t think you would want to go out with someone like me. Especially as more than friends”

“What makes you think that?” 

“What can I say? You were out of my league.”

***

Often that day replays in my head, if I never asked Y/n out we would have never start dating. If we didn’t date we would have never gotten married, never founded AEW, never started a family together. Although I still strongly believe she is out of my league I’m forever grateful for her being in my life. We balance each other, a perfect fit in my eyes. She is the love of my life and I will do anything for her. 

[lordundying]

— WIP WEDNESDAY

it's still wednesday for me !! so !! tagged by beloveds @adelaidedrubman @corvosattano @socially-awkward-skeleton and @faerune for wips, thank you my loves ♡

sending tags to @florbelles @adelaidedrubman @henbased @vasiktomis @belorage @jackiesarch @chuckhansen @queennymeria @yourlove-is-sunlight @shallow-gravy @angharradhs @inafieldofdaisies @arctvrvs @risingsh0t @cassietrn @thedeadthree @dickytwister @moonflowcr @delicateweapon @starsandskies @strangefable @firstaidspray @nokstella @gwynbleidd and anyone else who sees this and would like to play!

working on the nsfw prompts from the other day so have some (still sfw) varyaheart! longer wip because it's been a while and i don't know when i'm actually going to finish this xoxoxo durge!varya x shadowheart more like "local woman refuses to admit she doesn't like when girlfriend disappears randomly, continues to be upset when it happens"

“Sweetness,” the brunette tuts in a come now sort of fashion that makes her skin prickle with delight. “I hate making a fuss. That is all.”

Her brows furrow in at the center of her forehead, lips pressing into a thin line despite the overwhelming urge to kiss the skin she can reach.

She says, “No, you love making a fuss. Go on, have another go. I love guessing when you play off your reticence as modesty.”

As admonished as a woman like Varya can be, she pulls back , dark eyes searching for a moment before she presses the pad of her thumb to the love line on Shadowheart’s palm. This little camp they’ve made for themselves on their way out from the Shadowlands is dreadfully quiet at night—morguelike, even—and in the lapse of their more hushed conversation, she’s sure she can hear the uneasy thump, thump, thump-thump of the other woman’s heart.

The silence compounds on top of the divinely-punishing quiet from Shar; it bleeds and bloats, a swollen corpse, bulging eyes and splitting skin as it winds around them. The now-familiar sensation of panic begins to coil inside of her. It wiggles its fingers between the slats of her ribs and grips, yanks, rocks back and forth, getting bigger with each passing second.

You don’t understand, she wants to say. It’s just that I really—I really think that I—with you, I need—I need you to—

“I missed you.” Varya glances at her through curtained lashes. Her fingertips graze the inside of Shadowheart’s wrist as she sidles back closer again. “Most immodestly.”

No smoke and mirrors here, not anymore. Not with the way looking feels like kissing, not with the way she can feel Varya’s breath against her lips, count the freckles touched by each individual lash; the intimacy of the moment, with only whispers of physical contact somehow sustaining each suspended second, almost washes away the strange panic that sits high in her throat every time she wakes up to find the other woman gone.

“If only there were a solution to that,” she manages through the tightness, “such as not disappearing as much, or so often.”

“My, you are cross with me,” Varya remarks lightly. One of her hands drops to the dip of Shadowheart’s collarbone, fingers tracing the shape and curve of it. “What is it, then? Must I divine this dark cloud over your soul myself? Is it a test? I am very good at tests.”

Yes. “No,” Shadowheart says. “There is no dark cloud, and it is no test. It would simply do you good to not go where not a single one of us knows to check, in the instance you fail to return.”

“I suppose I should inform whoever I like the least,” her paramour muses, even as her fingers idly tug at the laces of Shadowheart’s top, “so that they may be the ones to find me, and lose their extremities—since my failure to return would be predated only by complete bodily-haunting, such as what we dealt with the other night.”

Her eyes narrow. She begins, rather primly, “Well—”

“And as I rather like your extremities,” Varya continues blithely, lips brushing the corner of her mouth, “it would simply do me good to make sure you remain in possession of them.”

[iamfruitie]

Take Control

I stole an idea from @iamtrashforsin Enjoy some Darkstache smut.

Summary: Dark and Wilford have been officially dating for a while and after months and months of getting close but never close enough the tension finally breaks and Dark learns how to finally let go and have Wilford take control

Take Control

Wilford sat on the edge of his bed, and a moment later, Dark was next to him. He could feel the awkwardness in the air and knew this was a long time coming. Months of dirty jokes, little flirts, and touches that went on much longer than they needed to. Wilford had been dying to have Dark in his bed. To finally break the weird tension between them, but he held back. He waited until Dark made it clear he wanted the same, and when, not even five minutes ago, Dark came up to him after a meeting and asked to meet in his bedroom, Wilford nearly ran for it. 

And now they were kind of just-

There. 

Wilford could tell Dark was hesitating. Maybe he wasn’t sure how to get this all started. All of this was vastly different than what either of them had done in the past. Well, more for Dark than Wilford. Dark was far from a virgin, but he wasn’t as open as Wilford. Maybe he just needed a little help, a little confidence boost. A confirmation Wilford also wanted this. 

“Darkling?” Wilford pressed his hand against the bed behind Dark, leaning toward him. “Do you-” He didn’t finish when Dark suddenly grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him into a kiss. 

Apparently, he just needed some time. 

Wilford usually went with the flow of his partner, and with this being their first time, he was more than willing to let Dark take the lead. He knew Dark liked to have control as well. However, he did take hold of Dark’s tie and guided him to move more to the center of the bed. Wilford wanted to be able to lay back against the pillows and found Dark straddling one of his legs. 

“Finally,” Wilford said as Dark slipped his suspenders off his shoulders. 

“Sorry for it taking so long.” Dark softly chuckled, now working on the buttons of Wilford’s shirt. Of course, this had to be one of his ‘fully clothed’ days, so it took longer to get naked. 

“Don’t you be sorry, buttercup.” Wilford’s chuckle was much louder, deciding to allow himself some impatience, and he tore open his shirt the rest of the way, sitting up enough to get it off his arms and tossing it aside. “I would have waited an eternity for you.” He laid himself back down so Dark could freely run his hands along his chest. 

“Get too cheesy on me, and I'll change my mind.” Dark teased, leaning up enough to remove his tie and blazer and untucked his shirt. 

“I don’t think you will.” Wilford watched Dark’s hands, grin growing more and more as he saw more of Dark’s skin. Has Wilford seen Dark naked before? Yes. But this was different, very different. He waited until the shirt was gone and then spoke again. “Or at least, I hope you won’t, because-” Wilford placed his hands on Dark’s shoulders and pulled him down to whisper into his ear. “-I have waited a long time to fuck you.” 

“Shit~” Dark couldn’t stop his gasp and felt a shiver travel down his back, his hands returning to Wilford’s chest. Wilford noticed there was a moment of Dark seeming to be more submissive. There was a bit of a blush on his face, and he appeared to be lightly panting. But that moment was gone when Dark shook his head and nipped at Wilford’s neck instead. His hands slid down, and he worked on undoing his pants. 

“Mark me up, Darkling~” Wilford placed a hand on the back of Dark’s head, tilting his neck, and used his other hand to help tug down his pants and briefs. “O-Oh, right to the point~” 

“I couldn’t help myself.” Dark breathed out, his hand slowly pumping Wilford’s cock. Neither were shocked by how quickly Wilford got fully hard. Dark also couldn’t help staring down and licking his lips at the sight. “Fuck.” He cursed and returned to biting and sucking at Wilford’s neck and chest. Wilford did say to mark him up, and Dark would take advantage of that. 

Everyone was going to know that Wilford was his. 

“A little faster and tighter there.” Wilford put his hand over Dark’s, guiding him a bit before moaning low in his throat. “Just like that. Good boy~” 

“Wil~” Dark’s own moan at the praise came out unexpectedly.  Wilford’s grin was almost wicked. He knew damn well what happened. 

“Don’t stop. You’re doing so well, so perfect~” Wilford kept his hand on Dark’s to keep it going. “I’ve wanted your hands on me like this for so long, and it feels amazing.” Another moan came from Dark, and Wilford chuckled at feeling Dark biting down on him to hide it. 

At the beginning, Wilford had assumed Dark would take the lead, to top and all that, but something was telling him that wasn’t the case, or at least it was different when it came to him. Maybe with them knowing each other for so long, and after everything they’ve been through, Dark felt comfortable enough to be more vulnerable, but he consciously couldn’t let it happen. Wilford likely needed to give him a little nudge and make it so they both had as much fun as possible. 

“Let’s finish undressing, and I have a suggestion.” Wilford guided Dark’s hand away and kicked the rest of his clothing off him. 

“Okay.” Dark went along with what Wilford said, desperate to get out of his clothing, and groaned in relief when his aching cock was freed. “Now, what is this suggestion of yours?” He asked, having the final bits of clothing join the others on the floor. 

“Perhaps you could ride me?” Wilford saw Dark look away. “Or I could ride you if that’s too much-”

“I can do it.” Dark looked back at Wilford with a deeper shade to his cheeks. “I…I want to.”

“And I know you’ll be perfect at it.” Wilford leaned his back against the bedframe and pulled Dark over to sit in his lap. 

“Oh, hush.” Dark made Wilford stop talking by kissing him, hands going to the back of his head and neck to hold Wilford’s face close. 

Wilford happily kissed back, and his hands went to Dark’s waist. He asked Dark to open his mouth by swiping his tongue over his lips, and he tilted his head when Dark did just that. The hold on his head and hair tightened when he made the kiss messier. Wilford slid his hands down to Dark’s ass, giving it a firm squeeze and chuckling at the gasp that came out of Dark. 

“Were you not ready for that?” Wilford lightly teased. He continued squeezing and tugging at Dark’s ass, clearly enjoying himself.

“Maybe.” Dark tried to banter back, but he was too focused on rolling his hips against Wilford’s hands. 

“How about this?” Wilford gripped hard enough for him to move Dark closer. He kept that hold, encouraging Dark to roll his hips again as he rocked his own, causing their cocks to grind against each other. “Were you ready for this?” 

“May-Maybe.” Dark panted, pressing his forehead to Wilford’s. 

“You’re lying, Darkling~” Wilford chuckled with a pleasure-filled breath. “You always were a bad liar when it came to me.” 

“I try.” Dark gave a cheeky smile and caught Wilford in another kiss, groaning when Wilford brought them back to the messy kissing. Dark usually wasn’t one for this. He didn’t really kiss a lot before he started dating Wilford. It was too personal, too close, but with him, it always felt so good. 

It was almost freeing to kiss without worry and made him feel a little playful, nipping at Wilford’s bottom lip and getting a little rush at the sound he got in return. Their hips rolled faster and harder, making the kiss almost addicting. 

But eventually, Wilford did pull away, hands pausing to just casually hold Dark’s ass. He kissed Dark’s neck a few times and snapped his fingers; a bottle of lube appeared in his hand with a hint of something fruity left in the air. 

“Have you ever bottomed?” Wilford asked. 

“For a person? No. But I’ve…” Dark cleared his throat, and the deeper shade of gray returning on his face told Wilford he was embarrassed about what he would confess. “I’ve had my fair share of using toys that way, and before you ask, yes, they’ve been as big as you. I’ve seen you naked plenty of times, and again, I’ve seen you fully erect because you have no shame, so I have…” Another throat clearing. “I have gone out of my way to ensure they were your size.” 

“That’s hot.” 

“It’s not hot,” Dark grunted and tucked his face away into the crook of Wilford’s neck. 

“It’s really fucking hot~” Wilford nearly growled into Dark’s ear, able to feel the shiver that went through his body. “You fucking yourself on a toy, thinking of me.” He popped open the lube bottle. “I bet you looked amazing like that. And I’m about to be blessed with seeing you riding the real thing.” 

“Hurry up, or I’ll change my mind.” Dark tried to sound firm, but any harshness in his voice meant nothing when a soft whine followed as Wilford started rubbing a lube-coated finger against him. 

“Have a little patience, Darkling. Let me at least get some wet stuff on us first.” Wilford chuckled.

He debated with himself for a moment as he continued rubbing his finger against Dark, loving the little moan he got from still rolling his hips. He was tempted to keep teasing but decided against it since it was their first time together like this and would save that type of fun for a later time. He also knew there would be plenty of other times after this. There was no way either of them could resist after finally breaking the seal. 

“Alright, let’s prepare for the main event, shall we?” Wilford pulled his hand away to pour more lube on his palm. “Now, don’t pout.” He held Dark’s hips with his other hand to keep him still. 

“I don’t pout,” Dark said with a pout he would aggressively deny if mentioned. 

“Of course.” Wilford teased playfully before letting out a pleasure-filled sigh, slowly stroking himself to cover his cock with lube. He smirked at seeing Dark taking a sharp breath from watching Wilford work himself over. That was also something to remember for a later time. “Need anything, or can you handle it as is?” 

“I can handle it.” Dark put his hands on Wilford’s shoulder and went up on his knees to hover over Wilford’s lap. 

“I bet you can.” Wilford lined himself up and groaned as Dark started sinking down. “You’re going to take me so well~” He purred his praise. 

“Sh-Shit.” Dark cursed under his breath, the words going right through him as he felt himself slowly stretching open. His previous private time has made him discover how much he loved this, how thrilling it was being full like this, and Wilford was at that perfect size. Not too much that it hurt beyond the pleasure but big enough that he could feel it rubbing against every spot inside him. 

“There we go, we all good?” Wilford asked, both hands on Dark’s thighs with his thumbs rubbing against his hips. 

“Very. Just give me a moment.” Dark rested his forehead on Wilford’s. 

“Take your time. I want this to feel as good as possible for you.” Wilford started massaging Dark’s thighs. He hummed happily at Dark kissing him, his hands slowly sliding to return to Dark’s ass. Dark chuckled into the kiss at being squeezed once more.

“I can’t wait anymore,” Dark said under his breath, lifting himself slightly. A low groan came out of both of them as Dark started to lower himself back down and then back up, and he followed this painfully slow pattern. “Fuck~” 

“Isn’t this a lovely sight?” Wilford’s hands went to the sides of Dark’s stomach, eyes down and a grin on his lips. “You certainly know how to move those hips of yours.” He continued his praise and felt Dark gripping him tighter, and his hips rolled more as he started bouncing faster. 

“Wil~” Dark took his hands off Wilford’s shoulders, running them down his arms and resting them on Wilford’s. 

“Would you like some help?” Wilford offered, adjusting his legs a bit. 

“Y-Yes.” Dark nodded his head before having it tilt back, body arching in the most delicious way. 

“Gladly~” Wilford gripped Dark’s sides and bucked his hips up.

“Oh, God.” Dark closed his eyes. 

“Wilford’s just fine.” Wilford’s chuckle was breathy, letting himself get a little lost in the pleasure with Dark. 

“Not…Not funny.” Dark didn’t bother opening his eyes to glare at Wilford and instead focused on using his body to try to nudge Wilford into moving faster with him. 

“Alright, I’m not funny, but you are perfect~.” Wilford tightened his hold more, catching on to Dark’s silent ask. 

“Wilford, please,” Dark whined, and that went right through Wilford. Dark wasn’t one to ask for things, let alone beg. Wilford was now dying to hear more. 

“Since you asked so nicely.” Wilford couldn't hide the eagerness in his voice. He used the stronger hold on Dark’s side to pull him down faster and harder, thrusting his hips up to match. Dark let out a low moan and leaned forward, pressing his hands to Wilford’s chest. The change of angle got another moan out of him. 

“Fuck, Wil, fuck~” Dark closed his eyes and panted, trying to keep up with Wilford and digging his nails into his chest as everything started to feel better and better. The real thing was like heaven compared to his imagination and toys. “Sh-Shit.” He began struggling to move, unable to believe he was about to cum already. But he could feel it building up, and Wilford could tell by the change in breathing and Dark’s rhythm. 

“Go on, Darkling. Cum for me~” Wilford felt a rush when Dark obeyed without a thought. His eyes rolled, and he tensed up, cumming on Wilford’s stomach and chest. “Now, that was gorgeous.” 

“Pl-Please don’t stop. I need more.” Dark pleaded, too weak in his legs to continue bouncing. “W-Wilford, Wil, please~” That got Wilford to flip them over.

“Oh, my dear, sweet, Darkling~” Wilford wrapped his arms around Dark’s waist, hugging him tightly against his body, and eagerly thrusted into him, neither caring about the mess between them and Wilford now being determined to add to it. “You sound so lovely when you beg for me.” He nipped at Dark’s neck, fucking him hard enough that he let out little gasps at each sharp movement of his hips. 

“Wil, keep going, keep going~” Dark clung to Wilford with his arms, and his legs hugged his sides tightly. He discovered he loved how Wilford kept his hold on him, pinning him with his body and grip. Dark was so weak for how he could just give up control and let Wilford take care of him.  

“I’m going to make you cum again so soon~” Wilford growled his plans into Dark’s ear. “You’re going to cry my name, and then I’m going to fill you up~” He slipped a hand between them and started stroking Dark to match his thrusts. 

“Sh-Shit, shit, shit~” Dark tucked his face into the crook of Wilford’s neck and then moaned loudly as another strong wave of pleasure hit him. 

“Good boy, don’t hold back. Let it all out~” Wilford praised and earned another one of those lovely moans. He could listen to Dark make these noises for the rest of time, but he knew Dark wouldn’t last much longer, and neither would he. 

“Wilford, Wilford, please, please, pl-” The rest of Dark’s rambles got cut off as he saw stars and was cumming once more. “Wil!” He cried out loud enough the room almost felt like it shook. Wilford bit down on Dark’s shoulder, muffling his grunt and cumming himself. Dark barely reacted to the bit and only kept a hold on Wilford, using the warmth of his body to keep himself somewhat grounded. Wilford took a few moments to catch his breath before prying his teeth away and smiling at Dark, seeing how he was staring off at nothing.

“How are we feeling, Darkling?” Wilford watched as Dark slowly moved his eyes to look at him. He blinked and then smiled back at him. 

“Soft.” 

“Perfect.” Wilford chuckled and kissed Dark’s cheek. “How about I hold you for a bit, and then we’ll take a nice, hot bath together?” 

“That sounds nice.” Dark was now mindlessly rubbing at Wilford’s shoulders. 

“Only the best for you.” Wilford continued kissing all over Dark’s face, full of pride at getting Dark to be so happy and relaxed.

[fear-is-truth]

i have no fucking clue why on earth i am trashing a whole story in your inbox. a song (and impulse) randomly inspired this. be the jury as my favorite fanfic writer on this app. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE way he drives, something that draws me in, making the world around seem so much smaller. Perhaps, it's the fluid grace of his hands on the wheel or the way the city fades into a blur beyond the glass, but the way he moves through it all--free, assured, full of life--makes me want to dissolve into him. It's strange, isn't it? How a simple act can stir something so raw inside me. His driving, something as simple as guiding the car, makes me feel both alive and hollow all at once. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be me. I don't want to feel this--this heaviness, this blur in my head, like I'm drowning in my own thoughts. But, when I am beside him, sitting in the passenger seat, racing through the streets I hardly notice, I feel something stir. For a moment, I feel alive--like I might reach out and touch something that isn't already slipping through my fingers. It's as though the very movement swears freedom, but freedom from what? This incessant restlessness, this heaviness, this aching loneliness that follows me about like a lost pup? He speaks little, and never needs to. There are times where I wish I could simply shut my eyes and imagine myself somewhere far away--somewhere like Malibu, perhaps. They say it's paradise, don't they? Maybe it is, maybe it's everything I've ever imagined. But even if I could reach it, what would I find? What would I have there? Could the emptiness melt away under the sun's warmth and the ocean's breath? Could the waves fill the hollows inside me that nothing else has touched, or would it simply be another place to flee from the vacuum in my head? I pity myself for having these thoughts, for craving an escape yet dreading what is beyond this fragile moment of connection. I pity the girl who depends on someone else to make her feel alive, to make the world seem real. But it is real, is it not? The way his eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror, the sound of his laughter filling the entire car, the way I wish--just for a moment--that I could stay here, suspended in this instant, with him, in this car, forever. And yet, I know better than to believe that. I know this won't last. How could it? How could something as fragile as this yearning ever hold up against the brutality of truth? It is all but a pursuit, a frantic reach for something, anything, that might make me feel complete. But I have come to see that nothing, no one, can really mend the hollow inside. The harder I cling to things, the quicker they slip through my fingers. I dream of leaving, of slipping away from this car and walking into the unknown--leaving it all behind. To Malibu, perhaps? To some fancy of my own making, where all is perfect, and sorrow does not exist? The truth is, I hardly known myself apart from this incessant chase. Without the void between, without the ache that drives me ever onward. Perhaps that is all I am: the ache. The hunger. The void that comes with wanting more, yet never quite knowing what that more is. Maybe I'm just a passenger, always moving, always chasing, never really arriving anywhere. There is a kind of beauty in it, though. A soft sadness in the way we keep moving, never pausing, forever fleeing from the truth too heavy to face. Perhaps it is all we have--the motion, the endless craving, the soft pity we have for ourselves as we tumble into another empty day, too frightened to stop and listen to the silence. And so, we drive, constantly searching, reaching for something--anything--that might briefly fill the void, that might make us feel alive, if only for a little while longer.

— 💋ྀིྀི

this was so good wtf ?!! i am at a loss for words.

[sunhavenkitten]

Vulnerable

Liam x fem!reader

Notes: This is the mostly sfw part 1. Part 2 is nsfw on my ao3 😊

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

The girls were with Jun, and even though it was the middle of the day, it was one of the only times you and Liam had alone together.

It had started with helping him around the house, tidying up and getting some dough started for the next day's batch of croissant rolls. You knew he always had an impossible amount of work on his plate with the bakery and raising two girls, so you stopped by to help out any chance you could.

However, this time a few shenanigans had gotten in the way. It started with a playful tickle fight in the kitchen, then, a bag of flour falling off the counter and exploding into a puff of white dust, and finally, here, with Liam's wide doe-eyes frozen still on your cotton bra as he walked in on you while trying to give you a new shirt to put on.

A gasp caught in his throat, his flour-dusted cheeks turning dark as baked gingerbread as he started to look around frantically in any direction other than yours.

"OH! I- I didn't mean-... Sorry, I-..."

"Liam, it's okay."

One armed wrapped around himself tightly, clutching the shirt he was going to bring you while his hand rested against his mouth, he looked at you as if desperate for reassurance.

"I'm sorry," you continued, "I didn't think it would be such a big deal for you to see me like this. Things have been pretty serious between us for a while, after all. Sorry if I got a little too comfortable."

Slowly, Liam's guard lowered, "No, I'm the one who's sorry. You're right. This sort of thing. You- Seeing you like this, I mean. Should be okay, right? I mean, only if you're okay with it, of course."

You smiled and walked towards him, which caused him to visibly tense up, "I don't mind. You're the person I love and cherish. So you get a pass on seeing me without my clothes on."

His eyes were wide as dinner plates as he processed your words, "Oh..."

"You get a pass to do other things, too. But that's only if you want to."

You could tell he was nervous just to question you, but his intrigue clearly outweighed his anxiety, "Other.. things?"

You smiled, reaching out to pull his hand away from where it was scrunched up underneath his chin. You pressed your palm against his, suspending your hands in front of your faces.

"Anything, really. I love you, and I want to share myself with you. All of myself. To see..." your lashes fluttered as you glanced up at him.

"To touch..." you continued, delicately interlacing your fingers in his.

"To feel," you placed his hand on your chest, not breaking his stare as you watched him jump from the sensation of touching so close to such an intimate part of you. However, he didn't recoil.

Liam's heart was pounding in his ears and his head was buzzing. He felt anxiety, sure, but there was something else there, too. Desire, of course. But he worried that indulging in that feeling might be taking things way too far. However, seeing your gentle eyes on him, feeling your hand nestled firmly over his, he felt more secure.

He swallowed the saliva pooling in his throat, fiery amber eyes not leaving yours as you stepped closer, closing the gap between your bodies. There, with your lips inches from his, you muttered softly.

"Is this okay?"

He swallowed again. He was terrified that he would open his mouth and a torrent of gibberish would come spilling out and ruin the mood. He didn't know how to express how he was feeling without making a total mess of things like he always did. So, he just nodded.

You smiled as you kissed him. Soft and chaste. Dipping your toe in and showing him the water felt fine. He released a deep, yet quivering exhale from his nose. The air tickled your cheeks.

Waiting for his eyes to open, you smiled when he finally looked at you. When he smiled back you kissed him again, this one longer and full of warmth. Then, you slowly moved from the corner of his mouth, to his cheek, to his neck, peppering kisses all along the way.

There was a song in his voice when he sighed, starting to feel more comfortable. It wasn't too different than it usually was, but there was this hovering mist of tension in the air. Not anything negative or foreboding, he recognized, but something unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

You kissed his neck again, deeper this time. The feeling sent tingles down his spine. At first, he smiled, thinking that it tickled. Then, his face relaxed as your kisses deepened more and he felt himself starting to melt against your lips. A small moan escaped him, and it wasn't until he heard the sound of his voice that he realized how carried away he was starting to get.

He pulled away again, worried that maybe the noise he made was weird. That perhaps he let his guard down too much. Your gentle, kind expression was unchanged, however, and you merely smiled at him as you tucked a curly lock of hair behind his ear.

"Do you want to go to bed?" You asked, not mentioning the noise at all.

Liam's cheeks grew even darker as realization set in. You did mean sex, right? That's what other couples did. Of course, the thought of having you in that way did things to him that he couldn't even begin to describe. Just thinking about it made his face burn and his head feel impossibly dizzy. But what if he did something super embarrassing? What if he was clumsy and terrible at it? What if you saw him without his clothes on and found him unattractive?

You could see Liam reeling in on himself again, hand slipping from yours before kneading the muscle in his arm nervously.

"Do-? You mean-?"

You chuckled, "We don't have to, Liam. And if we do, we don't have to go any further than what you feel is comfortable. Even if we just lie in bed and hold each other. It would be nice to just be with you without any distractions for a while."

He smiled then, his shoulders dropping as the tension faded just a tad, "That does sound nice... Okay. Though, I'm sorry if my bedroom's a mess."

"It's fine, Liam. I don't care if your bedroom is messy."

"Right, thank you for always being so forgiving with me. I know I can be a lot sometimes. And I apologize too much. I'm trying to work on that..."

"I think you're doing great," you replied, rubbing his arm soothingly as you walked towards his bedroom.

Once inside you noticed a stray apron draped across a chair, a piece of paper that had fallen to the floor by his desk, and a few empty mugs. Otherwise, the room was spotless.

You tugged at the front of his flour-caked apron, "Do you want to take this off?"

"Oh. Right. I probably shouldn't get flour all over the sheets," he said, pulling the apron up over his head and folding it before setting it on the chair beside the bed, along with the shirt he was going to bring you.

"In that case, I probably don't want to get in with these pants," you said, looking down at the flour dusted across your knees.

You could almost see the exclamation mark popping up above Liam's head as he paused from setting the apron down. Were you really about to dress down to your underwear and get into his bed? The bed he was about to get in, too? With you? In your underwear? His brain began to short circuit.

"Would you mind?" you asked, putting his comfort first.

Liam shook his head nervously, "N-no. I don't. I don't mind if you take them off, I mean. Maybe we shouldn't get flour on the bed," he looked down then, "Gosh, I hope that doesn't sound like an excuse to get you to take your pants off."

You laughed, "Well, I was the one who offered."

He smiled, looking back up at you. However, his expression fell as you undid your button and slipped your pants down your ankles. He was watching, mesmerized. You could see his eyes tracing over the curves of your body. Slowly, they snaked their way up your figure until his wide amber eyes met yours. And again, he panicked.

"Sorry! I don't mean to stare! You're just-... You're really beautiful, you know that?" he exclaimed.

You chuckled, "Thank you. And it's okay. You can look, remember?"

He nodded before looking down at his shirt. Timidly, he reached for the buttons.

"Maybe it will be less weird if I at least take this off? Not that I think you're being weird, or anything! I just... don't want you to feel odd being the only one. Is that okay?"

You nodded, helping him lift his shirt over his head, "That's fine. I bet your skin will feel so warm against mine."

You could feel the warmth radiating off of him like a furnace. The skin on his chest was smooth and a little damp. You brushed your fingers over it before hugging him close. The breath caught in his throat as you embraced him, but after a moment he embraced you back fully. His voice was soft by your ear.

"You're right. You are warm," he said.

You pulled him towards the bed then, hopping in and scooting over to make room. He slipped in beside you, the late afternoon sun filtering through the window and illuminating off your skin. Your eyes danced over his warm complexion.

"Liam, you're gorgeous."

His face got hot at the compliment, burning to the tips of his ears.

"Oh- I don't know about that. I've been hoping to put on more muscle lately but so far, I haven't seen an improvement. But thank you."

"I think you look perfect," you replied, brushing your fingertips softly over his skin.

He was nervous but encouraged by your touch to reach out and touch you himself. His hand smoothed over your shoulder to the curve of your waist, resting at the valley there. Then, you kissed him, pulling away only to brush your nose against his.

The two of you laid there like that for a while. You could tell Liam was steadily growing more brave, or maybe just curious, or both. Every once in a while his hand would roam. It wouldn't go anywhere too racy, but slowly he was getting more comfortable feeling all the curves and angles of your body. You did the same to him, your fingers experimentally gliding over his flesh and weaving through his hair.

Liam felt like he was floating on a cloud. As the two of you lay there cuddling and exploring one another he finally felt himself start to relax. His heart was still thumping wildly in his chest, but all the fears and anxieties clouding over him before were starting to dissipate. As though your mere presence was the sunshine that shooed them away.

He wove his fingers in with yours, holding them up and watching the sunlight dance across your skin.

"I really am so lucky to be with someone like you," he said warmly.

"I feel the same way," you replied.

Then, he leaned in and kissed you, his lips warm and soft. He lingered a little longer than he usually would, savoring the taste of you before pulling away.

"I could try a million different recipes, but I don't think I could ever bake anything as sweet as your kisses. Oh-! Uhm, sorry... That was pretty cheesy, wasn't it?"

You smiled, brushing your hand over his cheek, "I thought it was sweet."

You leaned in a stole another kiss, this one deeper. You could feel the warmth spreading over every inch of you as you parted your lips. Liam felt it, too. He opened his mouth slightly, timidly inviting you in as the tip of your tongue brushed his lower lip. He opened one eye and peaked at you, seeing you entirely entranced and carried away in the moment.

Closing his eyes again he tried to lower his walls more. He knew you were enjoying yourself. He knew that. Right? You always told him how you were feeling and spoke up if something was wrong. If you were put off by him opening his mouth up more for the kiss, you would just pull away, and he would apologize, and that would be that.

With slight hesitation he opened his mouth more and felt the warmth of your tongue swipe across his. A small huff of hot air escaped him as he felt a fire spread over his loins. Okay. Wow. Was this still okay? His head was getting so hot and fuzzy he was having a hard time keeping track of whether or not he was doing the right thing. The thought of losing control of himself like this put him on alert again.

You felt him hesitate so you opened your eyes and pulled away for a moment. Liam looked like an absolute sight. His eyebrows were pulled in desperation, a few stray curls were starting to stick to the sweat on his forehead, and his eyes were so dazed they were like swimming pools of copper.

You held your hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly.

"S-sorry... Did I do something wrong?" he asked.

You shook your head, "Not at all. I was just checking in."

He smiled, relieved, "Oh, okay. Thanks for checking in, then."

"Do you want to keep going?"

He leaned in, his nose inches from yours as you could tell he was waiting for a chance to kiss you again. He nodded.

"I- Uhm," he swallowed, "yes," he finally said, his voiced tinged with vulnerability and longing as the warmth of his breath flicked across your lips.

You smiled, meeting him halfway.

[tinyinvadr]

Next chapter’s here!

Psychoborrower 2

Chapter 3

While I’d never been in a traditional classroom before, I noticed right away that this one was unusual. Instead of desks and chairs, there were beds. Not that I’m complaining, of course.

The other interns got into the beds, and Hollis set me down in an empty one.

“Is it nap time?”

She sighed. “No, Flint. It’s time for class. This is just to help you astral project.”

Damn… I wanted nap time.

Hollis opened her psycho-portal, and we all projected into her mental classroom. Everyone took their seats while I just sat myself down on the desk in front of an empty chair. I figured that space was meant for Raz, though he hadn’t shown up yet.

Before class could even begin, I was immediately grabbed and lifted off the desk.

“Who’s this kid?”

I struggled as the punk girl behind me turned me around in her hand and inspected me.

“Lizzie! Put him down this instant!”

Hollis’ glare from across the room was cold and serious. I quickly got the sense she wasn’t about to let anything happen to me. She wasn’t the type to tolerate kids picking on each other, and it seemed to work out in my favor that I was also a borrower. Seeing me in distress likely invoked the same protective instinct she had for Lori.

Lizzie complied, putting me back down. While I was glad to be on solid ground, it didn’t feel great to have all the other interns’ eyes on me. I was tempted to shift just so I wouldn’t stick out as much, but by that point they already knew what I was, so there was no point in pretending.

“Hey, didn’t we go to camp together?”

I turned to my left, and was met with a familiar face.

When I first arrived at Whispering Rock, there was an older girl at the camp. She was on her last year, so I only really saw her that first summer. She was Dogen’s older sister, Sam.

…She scared me.

Whenever I saw her in one of the counselors’ mental worlds, it always felt like she was watching me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she somehow knew my secret. Needless to say, I was relieved when she left at the end of the summer.

“Flint, right? You look different from the last time I saw you…”

She trailed off, and it felt like an eternity before she spoke again.

“You do something with your hair?”

Well, she wasn’t wrong. I let it grow out a little bit.

“Yeah… sure.”

Hollis clapped her hands together, signaling for us to be quiet, and she started her lecture.

Showing us through example, she demonstrated the PSI power of Mental Connection. By concentrating on stray thoughts, she was able to link them together, forming a connection between two ideas and creating an opinion. In this case, it was “cilantro” and “delight”.

Right as she was finishing up her demonstration, Raz arrived. He asked Hollis if she could go over it again, but she simply told him that he should have been on time.

She had to go further into the depths of her mind to work on something, so she left her intern, Norma, in charge of the class.

The moment Norma got up and started explaining, I could tell right away that she was the one responsible for the prank. She spoke to Raz with a condescending tone, and the longer I watched, the harder it became to restrain myself from PSI-Blasting her in the face.

When Raz attempted Mental Connection, he caught everyone off guard as he jumped straight into one of the ideas, leaving him suspended midair.

Norma snickered. “That’s not how Mental Connection works. I’m… not even sure what you’re trying to do right now.”

Raz glared at her, then focused on the idea parallel to him. Then, he propelled himself forward, manually connecting them together. A few of the interns looked impressed.

“Wow, I’ve never seen it done like that before!”

“Oh please, Adam. I’m sure any one of us could do that if we tried. He’s nothing special.”

Norma continued to be oblivious to the fact that her dismissive comments only served as an extra push for Raz. He shot himself up a path of thoughts, disconnecting “cilantro” from “delight”, and instead connecting it to the newly-formed “disgust”. This, in turn, changed Hollis’ opinion on cilantro, her inner voice now expressing disgust at the idea of it.

This was enough to get everyone’s attention.

“You just changed her opinion… Wait, if you could do that, maybe you can change her mind about letting us go on the casino mission.”

This was a terrible idea. I knew it right from the start. Raz didn’t look on board with it either. But the other interns were ecstatic at the possibility of going on the mission and they encouraged him to go through with it.

“Guys, wait. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Everyone turned to glare at me again. It was moments like this that made me glad I didn’t experience school for the greater part of my childhood.

“Flint’s right. What if something bad happens to Agent Forsythe?”

I turned to see Sam somehow moved to the seat behind me without me noticing. God, even when she was defending me she was terrifying.

The boy in the levitation-powered wheelchair scoffed.

“She’s a professional, Sam. I doubt the little circus kid’s gonna break her.”

I could see the other kids’ comments were starting to get to him, so I made my way to the edge of the desk and waved up at Raz.

“Hey! Come on, you don’t have to do this. I’m sure there’s another way to convince her.”

That was the third time I had everyone’s eyes on me. It was like I couldn’t say or do anything without becoming the center of attention, and it was getting old really fast.

“It’ll be fine, Flint. I’ll be right back.”

Before I could stop him, Raz disappeared into the depths of Hollis’ mind. After he left, the interns made their predictions on what would happen. Some genuinely believed he could do it. Others figured he would get caught and end up being kicked out of the Psychonauts. Either way, it disgusted me that they thought it was okay to use him like this.

After a few minutes, we were all suddenly booted from her mind. I noticed right away that Hollis wasn’t acting like herself. She was excitedly packing a bag as she told us she decided we were ready to go on the mission.

The other interns, aside from Sam, were fully on board. After everyone left, Raz met me at my bed to pick me up.

“What the hell did you do?”

“I just… changed one of her Mental Connections. But she seems a lot less stressed now, and she’s giving us a chance to go on a real mission.”

This felt wrong on so many levels, but I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t want to go on the mission. It was beyond frustrating that Hollis wouldn’t take us seriously after everything we’d done, and while I would’ve much rather talked things out with her, there really wasn’t time for that. Not with a mole in the Psychonauts attempting to bring back Maligula.

“Alright… I’m gonna trust you on this, Raz. Don’t make me regret it.”

We joined the rest of our team on the jet, and we set off for the Lady Luctopus Casino. As we approached the building, Milla warned us to stay in the hotel room, as casinos strictly prohibit psychics and have security sensors in place that can detect our psychic signatures.

Sasha and Milla knew how to block those out, so they would handle the mission while we stayed back with Hollis on mission control.

Just as I feared, it didn’t take long for the entire operation to fall apart. Shortly after we set up our base in the High-Roller’s Suite, it was clear that Hollis was distracted with something. Even though I’d only just met her, it was obvious she wasn’t acting like herself.

She sent Raz and I to get her a pair of goggles she left in the jet, and as soon as we left, she took that opportunity to sneak out to the casino and gamble.

We returned to the room to tell Sasha and Milla that she left her post, then made our way back outside. Raz’s acrobatics came in handy once again, as we had to maneuver across the side of the building to avoid the security system. As we got closer, I realized something that made the situation all the more dire.

Lori snuck along with us on the mission, and she was fast asleep on Hollis’ head. Not only would we get exposed as psychics, but the existence of borrowers was at risk of being exposed to the general public.

“Raz, we have to stop her right now. That’s her psychic-borrower daughter on her head. If anyone notices her, we’re screwed.”

He nodded, taking out Sasha’s portal and pulling his goggles down.

“Why do you still have that?”

“You wanna keep asking questions or do you wanna go save them?”

Without wasting any more time, Raz used TK to bring the portal to Hollis, and our astral projections followed. I could only hope we weren’t already too late. Both the Psychonauts and my entire species were in jeopardy.

I tried to keep my cool. I knew Raz didn’t mean for any of this to happen. It wasn’t entirely his fault, either. If the other interns hadn’t egged him on, he never would’ve done it. At the same time, I tried to warn him, but he didn’t listen to me. It hurt that he would make such a rash decision without considering my point of view. It was like the incident in Sasha’s mind all over again, but worse.

I could only hope fixing this mess would get us back on the same page.

[icypantherwrites]

Someone recommended to me to message AO3 daily until the situation is resolved regarding To Become the Nightmare and while I generally try to avoid annoying the people who hold all the power in reinstating my story, I'm to the point where clearly that is not working. And if I am going to go by the end of April if they fail to resolve this, then I am not going to go quietly.

To that, in order to show them what actual support looks like and to give myself a little taste of the same, I'm including in each message a quote from one of my stories showing support, listening, compassion and/or empathy. And if you recall, I had mentioned I wanted to do something to support RAINN once my story was restored. Unfortunately my plans to do a writing drive event are done and over with as I no longer have any motivation or energy for it as this entire nightmare has just bled me dry. So instead of that, I'll be the one donating for this event and y'all will be the participants :)

For each story that I link to and post a quote for, if you leave an engaged comment on the day it is posted I will donate $1 to RAINN. For reference, an engaged comment is 100+ words about that story and those words cannot include copied text from the story to beef it up (if you have over 100 words without that and would like to quote, feel free). In the event I post a chaptered fic (which is the first one) you do not have to leave a comment on the final chapter; any chapter of the work works :) Also do not mention donations or any type of "monetary" word in your comment as apparently I can get suspended again for even others commenting such.

I'll keep a running tally on each day's quote for how much I'll be donating and I'll donate the final amount at the end of April or whenever they restore To Become the Nightmare, whichever comes first. Please feel free to share these posts to help spread the word and raise even more money for RAINN!

First story, here we go :)

Absent (4/20/2024)

“We’re all a little broken, Lance,” Shiro had said quietly. “But that’s why we have each other. We build ourselves back up. We support one another. And there is nothing that we cannot fix together.” 

[fandomstimboards123]

Brain brr

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Explanations for each gif and why I picked it (mostly because this was a request for my personal taste) :

1st and 3rd gif: I love Robin Williams SO much, especially when he does funny voices, like it makes my ears wiggle and I get a tickley feeling that I feel the need to shake off. In Mork and Mindy (the show these gifs are from) Robin Williams does a lot of voices. Also Mork wears the most epic rainbow suspenders and I want a pair, honestly I just wanna dress like Mork.

2nd gif: I’ve actually had guinea pigs and everything from the noises they make (which I make too when I get really excited) to how fluffy they are, makes me really happy and giggly. Honestly all rodents do, I also love that they cuddle.

4th gif: I love all music platforms!! I have a record player and records, a cassette player and cassettes, a CD player and CDs, I even have an old wind up record player and proper 1940’s 45’s to go with it (Some of them I inherited and some of them I bought like super duper cheap at a second hand store). I also just love watching the tapes spin while listening to music.

5th gif: LAVA LAMP!! I love watching the stuff float inside of it and the colours they typically come in. And (small confession time) I’m still scared of the dark, but legitimate lights keep me up, lava lamps are kinda dim and ambient while still lighting up a portion of the room.

6th gif: I can’t really do card tricks and stuff myself, but I absolutely lose my shit when other people do them. I have a friend who’s really good at them, and I’ll just sit and watch him practice until he’s tired of it.

7th gif: line art like that makes me so supremely happy, it’s not even funny. But also this came off of a Bruce Springsteen stimboard and I LOVE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN!!!! Like there are a couple of choice Bruce Springsteen songs that I will play on loop for days.

8th gif: It’s the Dick Van Dyke Show!!!! I love this show soooo much. I actually really love to watch it while I knit! Also the smooshy face Dick is making in this little gif is just to die for!!! That whole show really makes me super duper happy and stimmy, like sometimes I’ll just have put my knitting down to have a little freakout. But there’s this one episode in particular that has Richard Dawson in it (who I also love so much), who was in Hogan’s Heroes as Corporal Peter Newkirk (Newkirk is my favourite on that show, partially because he’s British(then again so is Dawson), but also because he’s super sarcastic. Also he wears the best shade of blue! And blue is my favourite colour, I was very excited when my dad told me that, that particular shade of blue is actually called Royal Airforce Blue! (Which is now my favourite specific shade of blue)). Also the episode that Richard Dawson is in is S2 E27, Racy Tracy Rattigan.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk these explanations could have SO much longer

I will probably end up doing individual stimboards based on each of these points now!