#i just want to laugh. or scream. i've put myself in a situation where i'm holding so many people's shit that i can't tell anyone My shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clarisse0o · 2 months

Text

Camp Wiegman - Part 1

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternate Universe : Military School

Summary : Ona has to leave Barcelona against her will because her mother decided to sent her to a school in Manchester.

Words : 4k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Monday, October 5; 6:45 AM - Home.

« Get up, Onii!!! »

I jump when a little bundle pounces on me, screaming. I groan into my pillow as he laughs in my ears before getting off my back. I turn over as quickly as possible to catch him before he runs away. The surprise rings in my ears even before his shrill scream, but I don't let go of him.

« Joan... » I begin in the calmest voice I can manage. « How many times have I asked you not to wake me up like this? »

« Mmmmmh... »he pretends to think. « I don't remember! »

« You'll see! »

A mix of cries and laughter fills the room as I attack him with tickles along her ribs. He tries to struggle, but I'm far too strong for him.

« St-stop », he says between laughs. « P-Please... Oniii! »

« Ona, let go of your little brother. He'll be late otherwise! » my mother reprimands me as she passes by my bedroom door.

« You're lucky this time! »

I release him and get out of bed to go to my closet. I sigh when I see that a large number of clothes are missing.

« Are you taking me to school this morning? »

I turn around to see my little brother watching me from the edge of the bed where he's sitting. He's so innocent. He makes me want to go back to when I was his age. Everything was simpler. It's rather ironic, considering he keeps telling me he wishes he were as big as I am. My many discussions about my departure don't seem to have sunk in, given his question. I'm afraid he'll hold it against me over time, as this isn't the first time I've left home. I approach him, crouching down to his level. His doe eyes and sad expression don't make it any easier to say what I need to, but I go ahead anyway.

« Joan... » We've already talked about this. You know it's not possible.

« But I don't want you to leave! » he raises his voice. « You just got back... »

I tense up when he lowers his head to hide his sorrow from me. I feel so guilty for causing him so much pain. He doesn't deserve to be caught up in all this mess. I gently stroke his cheek to encourage him to lift his head.

He makes a pout that could melt anyone's heart, mine first and foremost.

« I'm sorry, little heart... I'm really sorry for putting you through all this. You know that if I could stay, I would. You know that, right? »

« I don't want you to leave! » he shouts again. « Stay, please. »

Now he's crying, which only makes me feel worse. His tears bring tears to my own eyes. I hold him as tightly as I can and stroke his hair to soothe his sadness.

Joan is undeniably my weakness in all this. I feel so guilty about leaving again. I have to stay strong and hide my feelings to avoid making his reaction worse. If it were up to me, I would stay. I resent my mother for sending me to that damn school thousands of miles away. It cuts me off from the few loved ones I have left.

« When will you come back? »

« I have no idea », I shrug. « We'll see. Anyway, I'll call you regularly. »

« Promise? »

« Of course, if I'm allowed to, I will. »

« Is it very strict there? »

If there's one thing I don't like about kids, it's their curiosity. They just keep asking questions and can ask the same one ten times to get an answer. It's not so bad, but in my situation, it's annoying because I don't have the answers myself. He just reminds me why I've been stressed all week since the news broke.

« Well, you know what? » I change the subject. « If we hurry, I'll try to negotiate with Mom to take you to school before I leave. »

« Really? » He smiles with all his teeth.

« Of course! I just have to make sure I don't miss my flight. If we leave a bit earlier, I can drop you off before going to the airport. »

« YAY! »

I laugh at his excitement. I help him get dressed so he can quickly head downstairs. His departure allows me to clean up his mess and get myself ready more peacefully. Fifteen minutes later, I join him downstairs.

Dressed and with makeup on. I find him in the large dining room talking with his father and our mother. I don't bother to stop and head straight to the kitchen. I sit on a high chair behind the bar that faces the kitchen. I smile when I see a cup of hot chocolate and a freshly prepared pastry waiting for me.

« Good morning, Sam. »

« Oh, hi Ona. »

He moves to the counter so we can be face-to-face and chat while I enjoy my breakfast. I've had this habit since... well, since he started working here, to be honest. Samuel has been our cook for a few years now. We're almost the same age, give or take five years. His dishes are truly outstanding. I'll really miss them. They say the food in boarding schools isn't very good.

« So, you'll take me to school then? »

« What's this about now? » asks my mother, entering the room with Joan.

« I told him I'd drop him off if we leave a bit earlier. »

« Did you really have to tell him that? » she snaps.

« It's the last time I'll see him for a long time, you could make an effort. »

I maintain my gaze firmly. She eventually capitulates with a sigh. I suppress a smile that could change her mind. I always win when it comes to staring contests. I'm proud to have irritated her, but even more proud to have won.

« Fine, hurry up then. »

« Yay! »

My brother knows how to lighten the mood. I take a sip from my cup to hide my amusement as he dashes out of the kitchen, with my mother chasing after him, yelling to be careful on the stairs.

« Tough leaving, huh? » asks Sam.

« Not really. The hardest part is leaving Joan. Take care of him for me, please. »

« Don't worry about that. He'll be fine, unlike you », he says through gritted teeth.

« I'll be fine too », I assure him.

« I hope so. It would be nice to see you alive again », he jokes.

I roll my eyes with a smirk. We've always had a good relationship. At first, I even thought he had a thing for me. I realized it was a mistake later when I found out he was dating this guy named Paolo. I had a good laugh. As a lesbian I was surprised that Samuel was gay too.

« Shall we go, Oni ? »

I turn to Joan, who has returned with his backpack on. The time for goodbyes has come. I smile at my brother and get up to put my empty cup in the sink. Then, I walk over to Sam and give him a tight hug.

"It's all going to be okay, you'll see," he reassures me.

"I'll try to call. Can you put Joan on when you get the chance?" I ask.

"Promise. I really hate goodbyes," he adds, pulling me back into his embrace.

I laugh, playfully tapping his shoulder when I notice his teary eyes. It's touching since I've never seen him cry. I leave before I end up in the same state. I miss Sofia, my governess, who has a day off today. I said goodbye to her yesterday, but it's not the same. She's a bit like my second mom. She always knew how to lend a listening ear when I needed it. I go up to my room to check that I haven't forgotten anything. I also stop by the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I'm sure everything's in order, I put on my jacket, grab my bag, and take one last look at my room. It's time to leave if I want to take Joan to school, so I head down the stairs without rushing.

Hector has put your suitcase in the trunk," my mother informs me as she waits. "Do you have your ticket? »

"Yeah," I reply, patting my pockets to double-check.

"A taxi will drop you off at the school."

I half-listen to my mother's final instructions about my arrival at my new life. I look up when I realize she's wrapping up her verbose explanations, which I could have done without.

"Are you going to be okay?" she finally asks.

« Does it really matter to you?" I retort rhetorically, brushing past her to reach the entrance. She sighs behind me as I open the door. It's all her fault anyway. I look at the cobblestone driveway where the car is already prepared with Joan inside. I greet Hector, our driver, who is standing nearby. I descend the stairs and glance to my left at our garden where Marcus is. I give him a small nod. Asshole. He's my mother's boyfriend. He's not entirely to blame, but I've never been able to like him. I avoid looking back at the landing where my mother might play the model mom, waving me off as if I'm going on vacation. I've never liked formalities, so I head to the front seat of the car. Hector has long stopped making remarks about it. He settles in beside me and pulls into traffic once the gate opens. I watch the house recede in the rearview mirror. Here we go... We're on our way. Before starting my new life, we make a stop at Joan's school. Hector wishes him a good day as I step out to walk him to the gate. The hardest moment arrives... I crouch down to his level. He immediately wraps his little arms around me for a hug.

"I don't want you to go," he says softly.

"Look at me, Joan," I ask gently, lifting his chin. "It's going to be okay, alright? I'll come back, don't worry."

"Will you think about me a lot?"

"I'll do nothing else."

"Will you call me?"

"If I'm allowed, I will. I promised you, little one," I say, touching his nose with my finger. "Sam and Sofia will pass you the phone if it's me."

"I'll miss you."

He hugs me again, and I squeeze him as tightly as I can. I kiss his forehead before helping him with his backpack.

"I love you, Ona!"

"I love you too, sweetheart! Now, go play with your friends."

He runs off to join them. I wait until he looks back to wave at him with a smile. I make sure not to show any emotion so that at least one of us is reassured. I turn around when I'm no longer the center of his attention and settle back into the car. Hector starts driving towards the airport without saying a word. Everyone knows these are the toughest goodbyes for me.

"Are you okay?" he asks, handing me a tissue.

I hadn't even realized I was crying. I nod and smile gratefully as I take the tissue. The journey lasts half an hour to reach the airport. I have plenty of time to check in my luggage and go through security before the flight. Hector insisted on accompanying me the whole way, despite my repeated assurances that he didn't need to stay, though I appreciate his presence. Boarding time arrives quickly, and we head there after passing all the checks.

"We'll take care of Joan, don't worry," he tries to reassure me.

"Thank you."

"He's a big boy now, you know."

"Yes, he's grown up so much," I reply with a faint smile.

The intercom interrupts, announcing the boarding call. I turn to my driver, whom I've always appreciated. He's in his forties, but we've always had a special bond. He smiles tenderly, and we share a hug. I take the opportunity to thank him for everything before joining the line that has formed. I teased Sam about his state earlier, but I'm not much better at the moment. At the end of the line, I present my ticket to a hostess who tears off a portion. A security guard beside her checks my navy blue Eastpack once more, then they wish me a safe journey... "Safe journey," my ass, yeah. I move forward without a word for boarding. A second hostess welcomes me onto the plane and helps me find my seat number. Luck seems to be on my side for once. I have a window seat, and my neighbor who arrives shortly after me is an elderly lady. I'll have peace and quiet for the entire journey. I switch my phone to airplane mode. I put my headphone on. Music will help me sleep since I have two hours to kill. I start my music just as the intercom instructs us to fasten our seatbelts because takeoff is imminent. Indeed, a few minutes later, we're airborne. I watch our ascent through the window with a thoughtful expression. "Hasta la vista Barcelona... Hello Manchester !"

Monday, October 5th; 10:25 - Manchester Airport.

Damn it... Not only did I forget about the time difference, but I also forgot about the temperature change here! I'm finally in my taxi after taking some time to find my driver with his tiny sign. We're now stuck in monstrous traffic. The scenery is different from Barcelona. I'm going to miss my city more than I thought. I put my headphones back on just as my driver announced that we still have a way to go. He explained that the school is located away from the city center, but right now, we're stuck in the middle of it. We just need to manage to get out. Given the traffic jams, I have more time ahead of me. I could have done without it, considering how my imagination has come back in full force. I know nothing about the school she's sending me to. As if what I went through wasn't enough. Something like this had to happen to me again.

I hate having to listen to my mother and do everything she says. I'll be twenty in a few days and I still have to do as she pleases. If I hadn't messed up, I might already have a job by now. Now, here I am stuck on the other side of the Europe, with no one. Thanks, Mom, thanks a lot! My stress level shoots up again, though it had subsided thanks to my nap on the plane. I managed to catch up on my sleep. Nothing can change now. I'm here, and it will be difficult to turn back. The driver tries to make conversation, but he understands it's a lost cause. I can be a real wall when I want to be. He seems relieved to have finally arrived after forty-five minutes on the road. We would have certainly taken less time without the traffic jams. I get out of the car while the driver takes care of my suitcase. There are no buildings here, just a few houses around and even then. I didn't see any bus stops either, which I don't like too much.

The driver told me it was impossible for him to go any further. I understand why now, seeing what's in front of me. A huge, very impressive metal gate blocks the road. OK, what is this place? It's surrounded by an impenetrable high brown stone wall. It might have had its charm in another context. I feel like I'm standing in front of a prison entrance. I read the sign proudly standing above the gate: Camp Wiegman. What the hell is this mess? A camp? I wanted to ask the driver if he had the wrong place, but he was already gone. What an asshole! He better hope I don't run into him again next time! I groan in frustration and resign myself to dragging my feet and my suitcase towards the reception. A woman in her fifties is there, with glasses dangling on her nose. She looks up and smiles warmly at me. At least I'm not dealing with an old hag.

"Hello. You must be the new one, right?"

"I guess. Ona Batlle," I introduced myself.

"That's right," she said, looking at a sheet. "Come in, I'll notify them of your arrival!"

A door next to the large gray gate opens. I push it and roll my suitcase inside. Surprisingly, the taxi wasn't wrong after all. This place is huge from what I can see. I don't know where to look, it's quite... breathtaking. I don't dare move, not knowing where to go. The door is now closed behind me, preventing me from getting out. I wait a few minutes, and still, no one comes. The receptionist smiles at me every time I look at her. I guess someone will come to get me.

"Welcome to Camp Wiegman, Ona!"

I jump and turn toward the voice. A blonde woman stands before me. She has glasses and smile at me. I frown as I shake the hand she offers me. The only question that comes to mind is: Who is she?She must have understood.

"Excuse me, I haven't introduced myself! I’m Marina Wiegman, the director of this camp."

"Why does that name sound familiar?"

"I'm a friend of your parents" he explains.

"Oh."

I can't manage to say anything else. They've put me in a damn camp run by their friend. Great! This is getting worse and worse! This whole situation reeks of trouble.

"Follow me, I'll give you a quick tour of the place."

She orders me to leave my luggage, saying someone will take care of it. So, I leave my suitcase but keep my backpack. We walk down the large tree-lined avenue. It looks like a beautiful place... until you see what's hidden inside. I wasn't wrong. This place is gigantic! I can't see the end because of the buildings in front of us, but the horizon is already impressive. We take a left where I can see two fields in the distance surrounded by perfectly maintained grass. As we get closer, I spot a macadam field and a grass field, both fenced. Next to that, there’s a huge brand-new gymnasium. We don't go inside, but she indicates there are several rooms that I'll discover over time. We continue the tour in the first building on the left. It’s attached to the central building. This one houses the various classrooms, according to her. There’s another similar building just behind, connected by covered walkways. They don't seem big, only having one small floor each. One thing is for sure, the decoration is far from warm. Everything is as cold as the weather outside. It's raining, by the way. I already miss the sun I left behind in Barcelona. All the buildings are made of gray bricks. The only place that seems less gloomy is the new gymnasium. We exit through the back of the second building after a short passage and continue to the right. We pass the cafeteria, then the dormitories which are at the other end. She indicates that the staff dormitory is behind the student one. We complete our loop by returning to the central building. It’s the heart of the place and houses the administration. It looks very large. The upper floor must be her personal quarters. We continue inside where we are greeted by a hall before accessing the offices. We pass through a door with a sign indicating the secretariat. We walk down a long corridor with several doors labeled with names, most of them closed. We finally reach her office at the end. She invites me to sit on a chair, which I do without hesitation.

"I'm sorry I could only stop by briefly, but work keeps me very busy."

"No problem."

"Alright, let's get to the point. Did your mother explain anything to you?"

"Not really," I replied honestly. "Just that I'd be here for a long time."

"I see," she said. "I've been informed about your issues. Do I have your permission to share this information with the staff?"

"I'd prefer you didn't."

"As you wish. Do you know it's usually hard to get into this kind of camp?"

"Believe me, if I could have avoided it, I wouldn't be here," I retorted.

"Many applications were rejected this year. I shouldn't even be taking on another person in the middle of the year. You should see this as an opportunity! Your mother contacted me. I owed her a favor, so I reconsidered your application after someone left."

"I could have done without it," I muttered.

"We are a strict establishment," she continued, ignoring my comment. "We have clear rules that must not be broken under penalty of sanctions."

"Hmm."

"We are a half-university, half-military camp."

I sat up straight. Did I hear that correctly?! Military? This has to be a joke! She frowned as I laughed.

"What's so funny, Ona?"

"Military, seriously?" I laughed even harder.

"Military, indeed," she confirmed. "Well, it's a big word. You simply have the right to supervision and guidance by instructors alongside your classes. We are a special private educational institution."

"Didn't see that coming."

I hate her. There's no other word. Sending me to a place like this?! Does she want to turn me into a little soldier or what? If she thinks I'm going to go along with this, she's dreaming! I can already tell I'm going to have fun driving them crazy. They'll get so fed up with me that they'll send me back themselves.

"Since you're just starting, you'll be under the responsibility of an instructor for a while," she informed me. "This person is the one you should listen to first. They will help you adapt, guide you, and discipline you if necessary."

"Yeah, yeah."

I couldn’t care less about what she has to say now. I've been tuning out since she mentioned it's a military school. I did catch that all devices are banned in the camp except in the rooms. Phones included. Great! Well, at least I can use it in the room I'll have the pleasure of sharing with a roommate. It won't change much; I'll act as if I'm alone. I don't plan on staying here, so I'll make sure not to get attached. The best thing would be to leave as quickly as I arrived. She finishes by giving me my class assignment. Wait, they have classes here?! Surprising for this kind of school. She hands me a paper with my schedule and the names of my teachers. I don't even bother to glance at it. I don't know anyone anyway. Wiegman's monologue is interrupted by a noise at the door. A young girl enters after getting permission. She introduce herself as Lotte Wubben-Moy the adoptive daughter of the director Wiegman.

"Lotte will show you to your room in the dormitory. Once again, welcome, Ona. I hope I won't have to see you in my office anytime soon!"

"Yeah, thanks."

I leave the office, ignoring the hand Lotte extends. I wait for her in the hallway while she quickly says goodbye to her mother and closes the door. She leads the way since I don't know the place well yet.

"Your name is Ona, right?"

"Yeah."

"Did you have a good trip?"

"Don't bother trying to make conversation"

Her face falls at my harsh and curt tone. At least she understands not to talk to me. I'm furious with my mother. How could she send me to a military camp! I can't swallow it. It doesn’t even make sense! I now understand why she didn't give me any information about where she was sending me. She just handed me a ticket and said I was leaving home. If I had known, I wouldn't have even gotten on that damned plane. Then again, maybe I would have. She didn't give me much choice. It was either this or she would cut me off and throw me out on the street. That was clear. I don’t know if she would have actually done it, but I didn’t want to take the risk.

We walk along the outside to reach the right side. We arrive at the dormitory I saw earlier. It's larger than the classroom building we visited before. It has three stories. We pass through wooden doors. I'm surprised by the interior. It's a bit cheerier than what I've seen so far since arriving. We're greeted in the hall by a large wooden staircase that leads in two opposite directions. We go up and take a right. Lotte explains that the dormitory is divided into two sections. We stop on the first floor where we reach a long corridor. There are two more floors, but they are for the first and second-year students. I'm surprised she still dares to talk to me after I so harshly rebuffed her. She stops her explanations when we stop in front of room 19. From what I've observed, the even-numbered rooms are on the right and the odd-numbered ones are opposite. She steps aside to let me enter first. The room is nothing special. It has the bare minimum. Two single beds dominate the middle of the room, each with a two-drawer nightstand next to it. A lamp and a clock radio sit on top. On the other side of the bed, two wardrobes face each other. The one at the far end is next to a window, the only source of natural light. Finally, there are two desks at the foot of each bed. There's just enough space to pass between each piece of furniture. I open the only other door next to the entrance to discover a bathroom that is also nothing special. Surprisingly, it’s rather modern. It has a shower, a small sink with an extended countertop, and a mirror above. There’s also a toilet and a laundry basket. I close the door and move into the room with white walls. There's no decoration, so it still feels rather cold, once again.

"Well, here you are," she breaks the silence. "Your suitcase is already here, as you can see. I'm going back to my room. If you need anything, come see me. I'm in room 3, first floor."

"I'll be fine, thanks."

She nods before closing the door behind her. I sigh, looking around the room. What am I doing here? I have to survive a year. A fucking year that I plan to cut short. They don’t know who I am, but they will soon. My name is going to be known to the staff very quickly. If I understood correctly, I'm free for the rest of the day. I pull out my iPod from my pocket and check my phone. I must have sent a message to my mother when I got off the plane. I'm relieved to see she hasn't replied. She would have faced my wrath, and this time, I’ll have trouble holding it back.

My suitcase is at the far end of the room, right under the window. I guess that’s my side. I check by opening the first wardrobe. I close it immediately upon finding it full and lie down on the bed at the back. I would have chosen this one if I had the choice. I like having the window on my side, even though I doubt it will be of much use given the weather outside. I grab my bag to get something to eat. I’m glad I thought to bring snacks. Given the time, I would have been starving until dinner since I didn't eat lunch. I then slip my headphones into my ears. I use this quiet time to gather myself, staring pensively at the ceiling. I still can’t believe where I am. A military camp. This is going to be interesting... depending on your point of view, of course!

#woso #lucy bronze #woso community #barca femeni #ona batlle #woso soccer #lionesses #sefutbol fem #ona batlle x lucy bronze #fiction #manchester united women

95 notes · View notes

m1ssunderstanding · 26 days

Text

Notes on Nowhere Boy

Finally posting the long version of the close-watch I did for @sleeper9's Fete zine. The bad thing about me is I hate spending money and love pirating shitty quality versions of movies. The good thing about the Beatles fandom is we're used to dealing with grainy pics. Anyways, here goes!

The opening ten seconds really do set the tone for the film, and here's why. It's the opening of A Hard Day’s Night where the boys are running from a hoard of screaming fans and George biffs it. John sees him go down, laughs, and keeps running. Only here, it's just John. George’s fall has been erased, making John into a cocky, if slightly insane, little lone hero.

Mimi: do I ignore you? No. So please don't ignore me. Me: ummm, yeah you do ignore him, Mimi. Enough to leave deep psychological scars. But it's fine. Moving on.

Ugh, Uncle George is so sweet! I wonder how much of John's sweetness he learned from him. I wish we knew more about him.

Actually that was Jim that set up a cord running into Paul's room from the radio downstairs. But it fits Uncle George's character, so it works.

Why did they make Mendips look a lot more working class than it actually was? No fancy iron fence, no pretty hexagonal outcropping, no stained glass veranda?

Aaron Taylor Johnson is nailing it though. The laugh sounds very John, and this posture? Perfect.

Okay but if that doesn't heartbreakingly encapsulate John and Mimi I don't know what does. Uncle George has just died. John goes to Mimi, wraps her from behind in a tight embrace and lets out a sob. Her response is to push him away. “Please, let's not be silly. If you want to do that, go to your room.” Alright, it's making me feel things, it's winning me over.

John making his cousin Stan go and ask Mimi where Julia is is also extremely accurate. Always had someone to do the dirty work for them, all of them.

Mimi's concern as John's going to visit his mother in the “bad” part of town is very good to have in too. “And you will be careful, hmm? Careful who you talk to.” And John's response, “it's only Blackpool, Mimi.” It's true. It could've been Speke, or the Dingle. Which Quarryman did I read saying Mimi didn't like John even leaving Woolton?

John's hurt little face when he finds out his mum, all this time, has been less than a bus ride away is a very clever way to show us his painful confusion about the whole situation.

Trying to remind myself that this is a very anti-Julia pro-Mimi movie that will try to make me think she's crazy. But it sure is doing a hell of a good job. She hasn't seen him in years and suddenly she's hand feeding him desserts, kissing him every chance she's got, flirting all over the place. “Do you know what it means? Rock and Roll? Sex.” “Don't tell Mimi, alright? This is our little secret. Promise me.” And to a poor affection-starved boy, that's going to feel good. That's going to put thoughts in his head like “this is how it should be”. I mean I know she was wild and fun and sexy and irresponsible. And I know John did have weird thoughts about her. But I hope she wasn't actually this crazy.

But the weird Freudian thing aside, he's got to be so terribly confused hearing the woman who effectively abandoned him declaring her love for him. Between Mimi and Julia, John would've had such a messed up idea of what that word meant.

The Daily Howl, my absolute beloved!!

Nowhere Boy John watching Elvis: damn I've gotta get the girls screaming for me like that! Actual John watching Elvis: he's so beautiful! He's perfect! I'm in love!

Also I do not think sixteen year old John was that good at fingering. Just saying.

This part always drops my heart cold into my stomach. Poor John. Poor poor baby. You can hear his little boy voice calling, “mum? It's me.” And she mutters, very annoyed, “go away.” Again. I have to remind myself that this is a purposely negative portrait of Julia. But then. It is true that she was a mostly absent and wholly undependable figure in John's life.

Sometimes dialogue is absolutely perfect. Like this – “Aw, why couldn't God make me Elvis Presley?” “Cause he was saving you for John Lennon.” “Aw I'll get you back for that, God!” And this – “you haven't told Mimi, have you?” “No point going through her bullocks if I don't have to.” “Why? She has to go through yours.” “Yeah well I never asked her to, did I?”

Ugh this whole movie just hurts so bad! How he looks to Julia as Mimi is ordering him out of her house, just begging her to claim him this time. And she doesn't until he makes a stand for himself. And then, later. “How long can I stay?” Is met with nothing. Not even a fake “long as you want, love.” It really plays into the title of the film. This boy's got nowhere to call home. And then, the final straw. Look at his face as he hears Julia agree that he does in fact need to go back to Mimi's. If I did that kind of thing, I'd actually be crying right now. Fuck, why was I knit-picking, this movie is working so well.

As he's announcing he's leaving Julia's, John wants her to tell him to stay. To at least pretend it's not what she wants. And she doesn't even look at him. Imagine if they did something like this in the John biopic mirrored with a scene with Paul in the breakup?

He's just so adorable looking at that guitar like he can't believe it's real.

John's gathered the og Quarrymen in the bathroom and Pete goes “I take it we're not here for a communal crap.” Idk Pete, wouldn't put it past him. It's not far off what you all do already.

It's making the Quarrymen look kinda cool here, and I really want them all to be shit except John, just because that's what I get from Paul's description. Not that he's biased or anything. He could've been watching John play with Elton John and David Bowie and he'd still say everyone faded into the background.

Also Mimi would Not have been there. Not on her life.

Okay now we're sort of seeing them from Paul's perspective. Bunch of losers surrounding this inimitable shining star.

Accurate that the first thing John says to Paul is about jerking off.

The dynamic in general is just so well-done in this first scene. John instantly testing Paul. How much shit will he put up with? And Paul instantly having none of it, showing off, and winning John over.

All the other Quarrymen just know it's time to dust off the ole resume.

But! Paul's fete “audition” is so toned down for this film. Although of course, accounts vary. He did 20 flight rock, yeah. But he also did it on someone's borrowed right hand guitar turned upside down. And he did little Richard and played the piano, and tuned John's guitar for him. In one telling of it, John says he asked him to be in the group right there on the spot. So. Yeah.

But either way, watching John watch Paul is just gorgeously gay. It's giving extreme “Oooooh, he likes hiiiiiim!” It's actually illegal not to queerbate using Lennon/McCartney and I'm glad all moviemakers seem to understand the law.

Cut to “John, your little friend's here!” Can you imagine if they'd showed the “chalk and cheese” whirling dervish moment? Or Mimi making Paul use the back door? Those might change some thoughts and feelings in this movie.

And then we get the reciprocated “Oooooh, he likes hiiiiiim!” Moment as Paul's too busy checking out John’s buddy Holly Look to remember where he is, let alone what cord they're on. And it's so sweet because Paul's the first person who gives John the idea that his real self is actually cooler than his tough-guy act.

The little matching feet tapping?? Eee it's so cute!

But why miss the opportunity for them to sing in harmony here?

Sometimes the dialogue is extremely inaccurate. “So mummy’s cool about baby Paul wanting to be Elvis?” “Oh she would've loved it.” Like hell she would've. She would've been as disapproving as Mimi. Then again, maybe it is accurate for Paul to be lying about that.

“Well she – she sort of – died. You know, em. If we're gonna do this we should write our own stuff.” Okay yep there he is. That's Paul.

Also love how John gets his first calluses after Paul the bossy taskmaster comes into his life. (You know. And the reason to push himself and a person who cares enough to take the time to show him things and it makes John all dreamy staring at the stars that night etc) Anyway. It's perfect.

And the first gig we see after Paul joins is in a venue on a real stage with a much bigger audience, and the matching suits of course.

Mimi selling John's guitar because of a bad report card is like the lighter, kinder translation of what happened in reality when she had his dog put down while he was staying at Julia's.

So they kinda make up for not letting Paul sing etc by having him nail the guitar instead of screw up at this gig like he did irl.

And he's stealing Julia's attention, which is clearly Not okay with John. Reminds me of that quote of Paul's about how they were both in love with John's mum.

George is appropriately infantile. Good. Cutie.

The Quarrymen playing “That's Alright, Mama” as John's making up with Julia since she bought his guitar back for him. Okay. Very clever.

Paul does Not like John disrespecting his mother after the show for obvious reasons. (“I said something wrong now I long for yesterday.”) But clearly he doesn't have the full picture here. I wonder at what point irl Paul got a full run-down from John on his messed-up family life. Or did he just have to pull it together piece by piece over the years?

And of course he jumps to light Julia's cigarette. Boy was patting his pocket for a lighter like it was the race of his life. Mister steal your mum.

Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, Paul McCartney’s number two complaint about this movie: John was Not taller than him. How dare they? Slander.

That's one hell of a jacket.

At the party, John's of course pissed to find Paul serenading Julia in the kitchen. But Paul just wants a mommy so bad, John. Why can't you just let him have yours since you clearly don't want her? Right, because you really, really do. More than anyone can understand. But when you showed her that – how bad you wanted her to be your mum, not just a friend – she hurt you. Forced you to go through your abandonment all over again. So now you can't show that anymore.

The washboard over Pete's head is almost exactly accurate, isn't it? John does not handle people leaving him well.

Ugh his little voice cracking on the word “mum.” John Lennon is a poor poor baby and I will die on that hill.

I wonder how John did find out about Victoria and the real story of why he was with Mimi. No matter how, though, that's certainly a lot of mess for a young man to be carrying around with him all the time in his head.

“When your father came back from the merchant Navy, he wanted to try and save the marriage, but your mother would have none of it.” I do feel like we're going with Alf’s version of events here, the one he sold John in order to get into his good graces after he was famous. Which is, again, not fair to Julia. I wonder how little Julia feels about this movie.

In fact, I think this part – “who do you wanna be with, John? Do you wanna be with me or do you wanna be with your mum?” – has been categorically disproven. But it certainly does make for some high drama. And John himself did believe his father's story, so there has to be at least some emotional truth there.

Nowhere Boy John: There's no point in hating someone you love. I mean really love. IRL John: How do you sleep, you cunt?!

There he is. Art School John. Though he fell in love with every iteration of John, I think this one never left his head because he was one of the earliest Johns, and he was a John Paul had to fight for, you know, with all the Stu business and dead mother anger.

He really does an excellent job of playing John, though, when he's written right. “Woman took her kit off and we painted her breasts. Not actually physically. I got my eye on you two.” Ridiculous. Charming. Off- putting. Adorable.

Ignoring the fact that I prefer to think of “Hello, Little Girl” as being about Paul (“you never seem to see me standing there”) and they're making it about Julia, this is a lovely scene. With John somewhat unsure still of his songwriting abilities and Paul looking up at him from the floor full of admiration.

Oh he's gonna murder someone. To be fair, I think playing Julia's banjo at her funeral is exactly the type of insensitive thing Paul would do, because he just thinks and feels in music and it makes Sense to him even though of course it's going to piss John off.

Hilarious, and probably accurate tbh, that Paul's pissed John off so he gives Pete a bloody nose.

But here we go, the number one complaint about this movie from Paul, which I think is actually valid. John never hit him and that was important to both of them and it's disrespectful to portray it and play into the myth of their rocky, angry relationship.

But maybe in 2009 that's what it took for them to be able to show John Lennon and Paul McCartney in a genuine, loving embrace, crying into each other's necks about mothers. It has to be preceded by John punching Paul in the mouth.

If I was John's writing partner, my biggest beef with this movie would actually be the scene where they're recording ISOATD and making it look like John wrote it and played the guitar solo. But Paul's never even mentioned it. Which I guess really shows he cares far more about the legacy of his relationship with John than his career legacy. Which. If you mean more to Paul McCartney than his fucking music? Well then you must be just about important enough to have your own movie.

This is really the Vote for Mimi Smith campaign, isn't it? Putting across the screen the fact that John called Mimi every week until he died as “Mother” plays in the background is brutal. Ouch. But it's true. “It's Mimi time.”

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #george harrison #nowhere boy

86 notes · View notes

trying-harder-then-u · 8 months

Text

Someone Unexpected

"Fort Stonepeak was a small town in the middle of the Appalachian Mountains. With a population of only a few thousand, most people made their livelihoods by serving the farmers that worked just outside the city boundary or as members of the lively tourism industry that flourished in the region due to its fresh air, majestic mountain peaks, and clear blue rivers. Maybe that's why I came here? I did need some space after my breakup, but it hasn't worked. All I've done is sit in this hotel under this dim light on a creaky bed and feel sad for myself. Jesus, I need to do something. Maybe I will go to the bar tonight, and then I can at least drink my problems away. So after a shower, I looked in the mirror, put a shirt on, and got going.

Walking into the bar, spots flashed before my eyes as the bright lights flashed. I hadn't been expecting them; it gave the bar much more of a rave atmosphere than I had expected, but when in Rome, trudging to the bar, I had to practically scream over the music just to get a whiskey. Looking around, I saw couples dancing. Great! I thought, Now I get to mope with a headache, but just as I thought that, a clink noise sounded next to me. Looking over, a gay, twunkish-looking farm boy sat next to me. "I hope you don't mind me sitting here; there are not many seats around." His chuckle filled me with a giddy feeling as he laughed. "No worries, I'm not waiting for anyone," I replied, putting my hand out for a handshake. He had a much firmer grip than I thought.

The next few days, I went to hang out with John and began to learn more about him—about his family, friends, and, most importantly, his sexuality. It was another night of meeting at the same bar when John finally dropped the bomb. "I know you are gay; I am too, so I was wondering if you wanted to..." John trailed off. I was shocked as all hell. I had had my fair share of exchanges with other guys, and sure, a lot of them wanted me badly, but none had ever been this blunt. "Sure," I said, winking, "I can give you a good time," and before I knew it, we were heading over to my small hotel.

Leading John back to my apartment, I was full of joy. There was a strut in my step as I led him, and I had to slow down to stop myself from rushing too quickly. Once we got to my room, I held the door open for him and followed him in. The door shut with a bang, and I saw his shoulders tightening. Before he turned to me, "We're going to the bedroom now," he told me. I was shocked. Just a minute ago, he had been following me and gleefully talking about the starry sky and how he couldn't wait to do the deed with me. Now here, he was acting like he was in charge. I was going to talk to him about that, but then I felt the will to fight him on it leave my body as he stared at me, and like a defeated puppy, I followed him to my own bedroom, where he got me to sit down. Looking at me, I could feel his eyes undressing me before he finally seemed to be focused on my face. "I know you want me, but I want to hear it from you," he said. Still in shock at the situation, I stayed quiet, but soon waves of pleasure began to radiate through me. I looked to see where they were coming from, and his hand was massaging my crotch. "What do you want?" he asked me, and as I moaned, I only managed to whisper "you." Smiling at me, John pulled off my shirt and pants and pulled me into a kiss. I could feel his tongue invade my mouth, and I knew this was my last chance to assert that I was in charge here, so I fought back, but it was futile as he continued to slowly pressure my pouch, and finally I submitted, and his tongue began to explore my mouth. This is when I felt the first change begin. I felt inside my pants that my boxers were changing, the fabric changing to be less coarse, perhaps nylon, and shrinking down until my goods were held in a pair of briefs. looking down at them. John grinned; he said, "You look good on me," and I could feel my cheeks go hot as I blushed.

He proceeded to push me down and start kissing what felt like every inch of my body. As he did, my muscles began to shrink and my broad shoulders narrowed, but I still had a muscular frame, just a swimmer build rather than the body I had worked for at the gym, and before long, John was pulling down my pants and staring at my 9-inch. I looked at him with begging eyes as he began to suck me off, wave after wave of pleasure as I neared closer and closer, and right before I came, he moved back to kissing me and finished off my transformation as he gave me a hand job. Ribbons of cum flew out, leaving me with a reduced size. Putting his fingers covered in my own product into my mouth, my neurons fired. My brain was rewired; I was a bottom through and through, and John was certainly my boyfriend, and every night we would make love. That was how it was.

a few months later, and I've finally moved in with him. Of course, I do all the cooking and cleaning at home while he works the farm. Every night, I get to enjoy his hot, sweaty body. I think I hear him coming now. I don't think I've ever been so happy as when I see him after a long day.

#mental changes #dom to sub #top to bottom #twinkification #personality change #body transformation

271 notes · View notes

lizzieislife94x · 9 months

Text

Special Guest (e.o)

Requested ❤️

LizziexFem Reader

GirlxGirl

Legal age gap Lizzie is her normal age y/n is just say 22-23 This has bully reference incase anyone is effected.

This is over 2.5k words I apologise if it makes no sense I was just typing and typing lmao and I'm hungover so you can't hold it against me if it sucks😂

Y/ns POV:

"OK class we have a special guest arriving after lunch to help with bullying in schools so best behaviour" I hear the teacher yell I slouch and avoid eye contact with anyone I've been dealing with a few bullies recently mostly shoving and saying mean things I just don't understand why I let out a sigh keeping myself to myself as I feel a piece of paper hit my head I look down and open it "just drop out already no-one wants you here" don't let them get to you y/n I put my head down and pull my sleeves over my hands after 30 minutes the teacher leaves oh god please come back I can't help but think, it's the only time they don't bother me as much is when the teacher is here "y/n your such a freak leave just drop out" Sarah the popular girl says as she shoves my shoulder while her 3 friends surround me "can we not do this today why are you acting like a child just leave me alone please I don't bother you guys I keep to myself I've never said anything mean to you" I whisper as they laugh "you being here is bother me it's bothering us" she smirks I sniff and lower myself in my seat as the teacher and special speaker walk in but I don't realise neither do the popular girls "go back home freak go back to home schooling" she goes to lift her hand to hit me as we hear the teacher yelling "Sarah, Gail, Sophie, Danni" we all freeze I wait for my name to be shouted but it doesn't come "what do you 4 think your doing!! My office after class what did I say bulling is not tolerated here' I feel a tear leave my eye as I look up as I freeze instantly, is that Elizabeth fucking Olsen my mouth falls open in shock as I can't help but stare at her she's looking back at me with a concerned look.

Lizzies POV:

"No thank you for having me professor I'm looking forward to meeting the students and make them listen to me rant about the effects of bullying its a topic close to my heart" I say as we stand outside thedoor "are you ready miss olsen" she says with a smile as I nod and we walk in I take a second to look about and notice a crowd of girls I don't really pay attention until the professor starts yelling names I thought they where just messing about because the teacher was gone but this looks more serious I study the situation and see a young girl who quiet frankly looks scared I keep staring at her trying to work out if she's OK when she meets my eyes her eyes go wide and mouth falls open making me giggle a little I smile and wave at her making her shy away and give a slight wave back throughout my speech I keep making eye contact with the young woman who was being harassed by the group of girls she's drop dead gorgeous I can't help but steal glances once I'm done I walk over to the professor "hey the young woman that was being harassed by the girls can you ask her to stay behind so I can chat to her please" I whisper into the teachers ear as she smiles and nods "ok of course miss olsen ill tell her to stay behind while I go deal with the other girls" I smile as she walks away towards the young woman and watch her look at her with sympathy as she kneels to speech to her I sit against the desk my eyes never leaving her I have this urge to protect her and I don't even know her I've never spoke to her but something in me is screaming protect her.

Y/ns POV:

I can't wait to get home and climb into bed and shut the world off I hate this place I start to gather my books as I go to put them in my bag I'm stopped by the professor kneeling infront of me with a look of sympathy "y/n I'm so sorry for the way they acted that should never have happened ill make sure they don't do it again and they receive some form of punishment, I'm going to go deal with them now but miss olsen would like a word with you so could you stay behind please" she says in a quiet tone I look at her confused "oh uh yeah sure of course" she smiles and stands up and leaves the classroom I look down and see Elizabeth leaning against the desk I'm still shook she's here but now she wants to speak to me what is happening I get up and walk down towards her as she beams me bright smile reaching her hand out "hey I'm Elizabeth but you can call me lizzie, what's your name" I look down and pull my jumper over my hands nervously as I avoid her eye contact "I'm y/n its a pleasure to meet you lizzie I'm a big fan" she holds onto my hand longer than needed and I know she's still staring I can feel her eyes on me "its amazing to meet you y/n so what happened today you don't have to say if you don't want to but I want to help" I rub the back of my neck as I sniff "they just pick on me sometimes because I've never been to a real school I was always home schooled till last year when I wanted to come to college" she steps closer and puts her hands on my shoulders rubbing gently "give me your phone I'm putting alot of trust into you right now" she says as I look at her confused handing my phone she gives it back a minute later "i gave you my number I want you to text me or call me later I'm trusting you to keep this number to yourself" I nod and look at her "I won't give it to anyone I promise" I say with a whisper "ok well ill look forward to it y/n" I say goodbye and walk out to my car completely confused as to what just happened I look at her contact name and smile a little when I see a heart next to her name I decide to text so she has my number

Me: Hey its y/n I just thought I'd text so you have my number thank you for taking a little time to chat to me it made me feel a little better so thank you Elizabeth.

I put my phone down and drive home the drive home is a quick one after 10 minutes I pull up to my apartment and notice a message I unlock my phone and smile at her name on the screen why am I smiling she's just a nice person who doesn't want to see someone being brought down by others

Lizzie♥️: Omg hey y/n I'm so glad you text I wasn't sure if you would or not I hope your OK and I'm always here to talk hope you got home safe

I think for a second before replying

Me: I got home safe thank you I hope you get home safely I honestly wasn't sure about texting I don't wanna be a burden to you..but I appreciate you lizzie thank you

Lizzie♥️: Don't be silly your not a burden text me your address we're going a long walk so we can chat about anything your comfortable with, see you soon 😉

I look at my phone smiling like an idiot and text her my address.

2 weeks later

'I'm almost there put the popcorn out please' I laugh and shake my head "ok ok see you In a minute " I hang up lizzie has been almost glued to me for the last 2 weeks I've told her alot that's bothered me she's been amazing I don't even know why she wants to spend time with me but I swear my crush on her has doubled I'm snapped put of my thoughts with her bursting through the door "hey sexy lady" she says as she throws herself on the couch grabbing the remote control picking a movie as I walk over with popcorn "umm excuse me miss but do you think this is your house" I say with faked sass "actually yes" she says with the most adorable smile I throw a bit of popcorn at her as laugh as I sit beside her and she moves closer to cuddle up to me "please don't pick a horror lizzie you know I can't watch them ill spend the full time with my face hidden on you and you'll have to stay the night there's no way I'm staying alone if you pick a horror" I say with a pout she wiggles her eyebrows "to late honeypie" I groan as she plays the movie.

Almost half way through the movie I'm practically wrapped around her with my head hiding in her neck as she gently tickels my back I'm not sure if she's aware she's doing it but her hand slide up my t-shirt 20 minutes ago and It feels nice and comforting so I'm not going to tell her to stop "is it done yet" I whisper against her neck as she continues to run her fingers up and down my back "almost babe should be done in 5 minutes or so" I nod and sure enough five minutes later she turns family guy on "there all done"I stay where I am enjoying our bodies pressed together and my face against her neck "ok" I whisper not making an attempt at moving she laughs and rests her hand half way up my back "you can get up now the movie is done" her hands drop my waist almost on my ass "don't want to I'm comfortable" I smile against her neck as she laughs "I have no problem with this position y/n so stay like that as long as you want" I move my lower body and stop as my eyes go wide as I realise I practically grinded on her and her sharp breath in tells me she had the same realisation I go to move off but she holds me in place making my pull away to look at her "you have no idea how hard it is for me to be around you and keep my cool I wanna do everything and be everything for you I look forward to things like this because we get so close .." I cut her off mid sentence smashing my lips against hers once air becomes an issue I sit up looking into her eyes biting my lip "I feel the same lizzie" I say as I lean my head against her head 'take me to bed please " I say biting my lip as i move to kiss her neck surprised when I hear her moaning before I know it she's gripping my ass walking to the bedroom as I such and bite on her neck making sure I leave marks she throws me onto the bed falling on top of me as she kisses my neck "clothes you're wearing to many"

I say moaning earning a groan from the blonde under me she stands up and starts to shred her clothes I follow her lead till we're both butt naked staring at one another I can't help but feel my arousal pool at the sight of her I finally look at her eyes and notice them dark with lust I lean back and smirk feeling a little confident "make me yours" she falls to her knees and pushes my legs open instantly moaning at the sight of my dripping cunt I lean my head back and moan as she attacks my clit with no mercy she's sucking like I'm her last meal I can't help but let out loud moans the thought I have this affect on her turning me on more "yes yes fuck me yes lizzie right there!!!!" I scream as she adds 2 fingers inside my tight cunt thrusting as she sucks my clit Igrip the sheets so hard my knuckles turn white I go to moan as she curls her fingers at the right spot hitting my gspot my mouth falls open as a silent scream leaves my body I feel the sensation run through my body I didn't mean to cum so fast "you could have warned me you where a squirter" she says with a giggle as she sits ontop of me biting her lip I look up breathing heavy my chest rising and falling fast "I.. I'm.. not..I never knew...I was" I pant out with a huge smile she leans down and kisses me passionately after a few seconds she opens my legs and positions her cunt onto mine making me look at her and moan "oh honey you didn't think I was done with you did you? I wanna hear more of those pretty sounds you make for me" She says with a smirk as my eyes roll she starts to grind her hips making our clits rub together perfectly both of us moaning 'fa...faster baby" I whimper as my nails scratch her thigh as she fucks me harder and faster she keeps her pace up for a few minutes before they become sloppy "so close baby....babygirl" she moans gripping onto my hand "me to...mommy please cum for me" I scream my words not even registering as she picks up her speed both of us screaming and panting sweat dripping from our bodies "right there right there right there" she screams as she cums all over my pussy sending my second orgasm crashing over me "yes yes fu....ck oh f..fu..ck" I pant as she collapses ontop of me both of us not moving for a few minutes until we regain our breath "that was amazing baby" she says rolling off me rubbing my cheek making me blush "yeah it was you're perfect lizzie" I say blushing like a fool we climb into bed and cuddle both our naked body's pressed against eachother she kisses my head as she whispers "goodnight beautiful " I whisper goodnight and fall asleep in her arms.

AN: this is long and might not make sense I'm super tired and hungover I had an amazing night last night the wedding was beautiful it was such a long day but so worth it, apologies for this chapter haha but I will start posting again and making them some what decent haha I hope you enjoy this feedback welcome and honestly comments would help distract from this hangover feeling � (its been just over a year since i wrote this originally!! my friends have been married over a year thats crazy!)

82 notes · View notes

cant-get-enough-btr-forever · 2 months

Text

Big Time Games: "Stage Rush"!

Perhaps you've seen my "Recycle Rush" play-by-play (wonderful little game, by the by). Now, here's my "Stage Rush" play-by-play.

Kendall, you're on camera. Put on your shoe.

*clears throat* Now that I got that out of the way...

First thing I saw after clicking "Play": Logan is all by his lonesome.

Did he get distracted by schoolwork/a new book, and the others left him behind?

Anyway, Lonesome Logan needs to get to the stage (hence Stage Rush). There are hordes of fans scattered in his path. You know, we have lines for a reason.

It's your job to steer him away from their light...beam...things. Basically, he's avoiding their eyes so he doesn't get violated.

You also have 3 VIP passes on hand, which are automatically given to anyone who sees Logan.

This will, um, bribe them into not tackling him.

You can grab extra passes along the way, as well as musical notes (which are bonus points).

But if you run out of passes, and someone notices you?

Right then. On with the show.

I busted out laughing as soon as he started...doing whatever this is.

Mighty inconspicuous there, dude.

Luckily, these fans (who mainly consist of twins) do not have working peripherals.

Logan: "If I just stand verrry still, they will never know I am here! 😃"

Side note: You know those movie scenes where a prisoner escapes at night, and they try to dodge the big searchlights? That's what this reminds me of.

And holy cannoli the girls' screams are irritating. I'll stay away from their weird glowing auras, if only to prevent them from screeching.

...Is that what this game is trying to show us? How annoying we can be...?

Once I'd eluded the searchlights fans, this is what it told me:

Ah. So Logan is actually early, and the other boys are late. Now that makes a bit more sense.

By the way, the VIP passes don't refresh for each guy. Therefore, if Logan only has 1 pass, so does Kendall. Although, confusingly, if Logan has 0 passes, Kendall magically has 1.

Oh well.

Anyhoo, here's the rest of Big Time Rush, merrily prancing after their bandmate.

And here's a screenshot of the first time I escaped with 8 passes (the most I ever salvaged):

It's sad how accomplished this made me feel.

The difficulty increases as you go from Logan, to Kendall, to James, and finally to Carlos. Which is amusing to me, because it implies that Carlos has the hardest time maneuvering the fans. I couldn't blame him, though.

I felt agoraphobic just looking at his situation.

The poor boy doesn't even have his Helmet to protect him.

I've got you, Carlitos.

Much better. (Side note: Is he wearing two watches...?)

After what I believe was my 5,397th attempt, I finally hustled all 4 guys to their dang stage. This was my prize:

They made it there on time, yet it still says "Game Over."

Makes sense.

I don't have an account with this site, but I clicked "Login" anyway.

The site Big Time Crashed.

I also checked my closet, hoping to find Big Time Rush. Sadly, I discovered nothing. If I had been able to log in, I'm certain they would've been in there.

You know what? It's fine. I got the boys to their show, and that's all that matters! In fact, I'm pretty sure I can call myself a pro gamer at this point...

Final Thoughts: This one definitely seems harder than "Recycle Rush." Also, Recycle Rush has many more levels. That said, Stage Rush's graphics are cool. I give it a 5/10.

Here's the link, if you want to try it out for yourself. Unfortunately, it's not mobile-device-friendly, so use a computer.

Once again, happy playing! ☺

#big time rush #games #stage rush #kendall knight #james diamond #logan mitchell #carlos garcia #random stuff

11 notes · View notes

asimpforthe80s · 10 months

Text

Shouldn't Be Attracted To A Criminal..

Starring: Eddie Munson and Murderer!Y/N

Warning: mentions of murder. Drugs. Prison escapee Y/N. Falling in love with a criminal. Kinda short.

Part 2

You had just escaped prison and were on the run. Eddie was waiting for his client in the woods as he heard a rustling in a bush. "Who's there?" He asked, standing up. "Chrissy?" He yelled out, not knowing who was there. He walked over to the bush and saw you, covered in dirt and a little blood. Leaves in your long black hair and scratches on your pink cheeks. You wore a prison uniform. Shit, he thought as he backed up slowly.

You jumped out of the bushes, threatening him with a knife in your hands. "Scream and you're dead, hear me?" Your voice was quiet.

"Woah, woah, woah!!" Eddie said as he held up his hands. "Let's calm down here, alright? No one has to get hurt." He said in a calm voice. "That's right. No one needs to get hurt. So shut up, don't yell, and don't you fucking dare call no one." You walked closer to him, holding your knife tighter in your hands. Eddie tried to move backwards, not wanting to make her mad. "Look, look, I don't have a cell phone. I'm not going to call anyone. Please, just put the knife down." Eddie said in a shaky voice, his eyes darting around nervously. You looked around, searching the area for anyone who might see or hear you. "You waiting for anyone? Is anyone going to come here?"

"No, no one is coming. I swear." Eddie said. "No one is coming. I swear." He said, hoping she would believe him, even though he was lying. "You're only telling me lies, I know it." You held your knife a little tighter and took your free hand to your pocket. "Who. Is. Coming." You said in a harsh tone. Eddie looked down at the ground, feeling trapped now. He was scared of her. "Look, you're right, im lying. I'm waiting for my client. I sell drugs." He looked up at her, his big, brown eyes pleading for mercy. "Okay then. Who is this client of yours?"

"Her name is Chrissy Cunningham. She's wearing a cheerleader uniform." Eddie said. "She's meeting me here so I can give her some cocaine." Eddie said, praying that she would just rob him and not kill him. "When is this 'Chrissy' supposed to meet you here."

"She was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago." Eddie said. "I don't know what's taking so long." He said, glancing at his watch. "Got a car? Van? Motorcycle? Anything?"

"Yeah, I have my van over there, across that clearing. Why do you ask?" He said, pointing towards the clearing. "Need a getaway."

"Heyyyy, wait. Don't get any ideas. I like my van. You can't steal my van! How the hell am I gonna sell my drugs without my van?" Eddie asked. "Goddamnit, people these days." You muttered. Eddie laughed nervously, trying to keep the situation light. "I'm just saying, that van cost me 30 grand, and if you think I'm just gonna let you take it, you gotta be crazy. I make all of my money in that van." He said.

You thought for a few minutes, not saying a word. Eddie stayed quiet, hoping that she wouldn't actually try to steal his van. He didn't know if he could stop her, if she decided to do it. He stood there waiting for her to respond. "Hey, what about you stay at my place instead?" You snapped out of your trance. "What- are you crazy? What if the police come?!" Eddie laughed nervously, "The police aren't gonna come. I know for a fact that no one even knows where I am. The police probably aren't even looking for me yet. And look, if you come with me to my cabin in the woods, I'll share some of the profits from my drug business with you." He said, trying to sweeten the deal.

"Dude.. you're already doing too much by letting me stay at your place, I don't need no money." You reassured him. "Just come with me, I know it seems sketchy, but I promise it's safe." Eddie said. "The place is kinda run down, but it's warm. I just live by myself out there, I don't have a lot of furniture, but I've got a bed and a tv, and a couch." He said, still trying to convince her to come with him, just so he could get his van back. "Huh.. you're quite a weird fellow." You chuckled. "But, fine.. I'll take your offer on lettin' me stay." Eddie sighed in relief. "Thank god, yes! Thank god. Let's get going." He said, starting to head towards his van. He was weird for letting you - a mass murderer - stay with him for no reason.

You followed him back to the white van parked in the clearing. Eddie climbed into the driver seat. "Alright, hop in!" He said, motioning towards the passenger seat. You hopped into the passenger seat. The van smelled like cocaine and tobacco. He started up the van and started driving towards his cabin in the woods. "Hey, what's your name, by the way?" He asked as he drove. "Name's Y/N.. if you tell anyone who I am and where I am, you're dead to me.. and most likely dead in general.."

"No worries of that, I'm not a rat. My name's Eddie." He said. "Nice to meet you Y/N." He put his hand out to shake your hand. "I hope you won't kill me in my sleep later on, hahaha." He laughed. You laughed. "No promises!" You paused. "Nah man, just kiddin' with ya." Eddie laughed nervously, hoping she was joking. "Heh, you better be." He said, chuckling. As he drove along the dirt road through the woods, Eddie started to relax a bit as they were getting closer to his cabin. He hoped you wouldn't try to murder him. "Yeah, I'm joking.. don't worry.. it sounds sketchy, but so does letting a murderer stay in your cabin in the middle of nowhere, so we're even?"

"Yeah, I guess you could put it like that." Eddie said, still feeling a little uncomfortable. "I swear, if you kill me in this van, I'm going to be so pissed haha." He chuckled, looking over at you to see your reaction. You laughed. "You can check me if ya want, but I ain't got no knife on me." Eddie chuckled as well, as he parked the van in front of a small cabin in the woods. "We're here." He said, getting out of the car. As he walked over to the front door, he opened it up. "I told you my place was a little run down, but it's got everything you need." He said with a shrug. "Ooh, nice tho.." you said and got out.

"Well, come in, come on in." Eddie said, inviting you inside. The cabin looked to be about 30 or 40 years old. The paint was fading, and in some areas it was chipped away all together. The furniture was old, with wear and tear, some of it in need of a replacement. "So whatdya think?" He asked. "Looks nice to be this old.. got any spare clothes? Walkin' 'round in a prison uniform isn't good.."

"Yeah, I can find some clothes for you. What size?" Eddie asked. He started walking upstairs. "You can hang out up there, and I will get you some new clothes. Make yourself at home, alright?" He said as he climbed the stairs towards his bedroom. "Yeah, I don't care about the size, tho.." You smiled a little, feeling an unfamiliar warmth. "Alright." Eddie said as he walked into his room. He started rummaging around until he found a shirt, pair of jeans, and a hoodie that would fit you. "Here." He said, heading back downstairs. "You can change in the bathroom if you want." Eddie said as he gave you the clothes.

"Thanks, man." Walking over to the bathroom, you smiled, feeling that weird warmth inside you again. What was this? Why did you suddenly feel like this around him? It was weird. You thought as you changed. The scent of him still on the clothes made your head spin. Fuck, did you like him? You got nervous as you walked out to him again. The clothes were a little too big, but you liked it better that way anyway.

Eddie blushed a little as he looked you up and down. He didn't expect you to look so good outside of those prison clothes. "Huh, those are pretty big on you. Are you comfy in there?" He asked, trying not to look at... certain areas. "Yeah, I kinda like it.." You tried your best to ignore the feelings you felt around him. It was intoxicating to you. You hated that you loved it.

As Eddie looked at you, he couldn't help but notice your lips, how soft they looked. "Uhm, yeah, I'm just gonna take a shower really quickly. You, uh, go ahead and look around, but just don't touch anything, ok? I'll be out here if you need anything." Eddie said as he began to walk towards the bathroom. He was really nervous now, and this time it wasn't because you were a dangerous criminal. "Yep, got it." You smiled and sat down.

Eddie took a deep breath before walking through the door to the bathroom. As soon as it closed behind him, he screamed out in frustration. "Why the hell is she so beautiful?" He muttered under his breath as he turned the water on and began to strip his clothes off. "I shouldn't be attracted to a dangerous criminal like her, but damn she's perfect."

Tell me if y'all want a pt.2!

25 notes · View notes

singledeadpoet · 3 months

Text

TW: Topics Of Suicide

The Week After I Killed Myself.

Monday,

I watched as the time ticked slower and slower,

I could feel my pulse in my hands,

Burning edges to a paper that can never be read how it was wrote,

I forgot to leave a letter,

Now my parents are left to wonder where they went wrong.

Tuesday,

The news reached my best friend,

I don't know what he does, but I wish I was there to comfort him.

The news comes on the same,

Police chase,

The weather,

Politics,

And the weather again,

But my parents don't watch.

The faucet in the bathroom drips,

Raising the water bill because I forgot to make sure it was fully off.

My mother would flip it off for me and not say a thing even after it being the fifth time that week,

But now she's trying to remember the way I used to play in the sand,

Before the move,

Before she knew what was happening to me.

When she thought she could still save me.

The school is notified,

But my grades don't weigh me down where I am at now,

I don't have to try so hard to matter anymore.

Wednesday,

The letters in my room are just letters now.

Ones that will only be read maybe once more,

Though it'll never be said how many times it saved a life, I'd hope you knew.

My stuffed animals have not slept in days,

Without a cold body to warm what place do they have in this old house?

The neighbors find out.

Condolences are sent.

Not one has my real name on it.

Thursday,

The funeral I arranged for Saturday,

Because my mom is always off work then.

I do not know who comes, or what is said,

I do not know where or how I was buried,

I was not old enough to pick it for myself,

Knowing my parents I'm probably a diamond, or a tree.

The letters have been found.

They know.

They know I loved you,

And you loved me.

I would have joked about how awkward it'll be when you see my parents again,

But my mom hugs you this time

And says she hasn't seen her baby happy like that in years,

And you both forget where you are for a moment ,

Dream,

Hope a little it's a different situation.

Friday,

My mom is going through my stuff.

My phone first,

She'll find out we were more than friends,

She'll tell my friend I am gone

And she won't know if it's a joke,

But when she sees what I've written

The sinking feeling in her stomach will be all too familiar

After, she'll go to the store,

See the man who always used to ask me how I am,

And break down in front of the produce.

Saturday,

The baby breath is half dead,

The lavender makes the air tense,

There's a mix of regular clothes and formal wear

I would have laughed at anyone who bothered to put on a suit.

I would have said how pretty you looked

My mom compiled home videos and photos from the last year's,

Though there's only a few she thinks are really me,

And they're usually the ones where someone else is with me.

She says the usual:

The "kind"

The "smart"

The "talented"

The "too young for this"

Or maybe she'd say nothing at all.

Ask you if you'd like to say anything and I couldn't hear it.

I always wanted to know what you thought of me.

Sunday,

My room is still how I left it,

The coats on the hanger

And the boots on the outside the closet door.

The books,

Dusty and un-bookmarked,

They'll search for me here,

But none of the words will sound like my voice,

And my mother will keep the video of me.

The video of me as a kid laughing close to her chest.

She wonders where I went when I got older.

How was this grave her baby?

How could I leave her behind after all of the things I said without an apology.

After all that's been done for me,

It was a waste to love me,

That's what somebody would think,

But I won't know for sure.

Whether im in Heaven, Hell, or Nirvana,

I won't come back.

I won't be able to run my hand through your hair,

And I cant feel the warmth of another hand to remind me I'm still here.

I can't hear the music,

I can't hear the screams or the pleas,

I'll be at peace,

But I'll be no more than I am now.

#poems and poetry #poetic #poets on tumblr #poetry #writers and poets #poems on tumblr #poem #love poem #original poem #suic1de #mental health

6 notes · View notes

kamadotanjerino · 1 year

Text

°yoongi x reader°

sinopse: The rain's tears only reach one direction, that of the heart.

°•°Where yoongi needs your help to be able to love again...

Warning: implied sex, violence, anguish, depression, oral sex, and many others...

Cap.01

Yoongi.pov.

Waking up has never been easy for me, especially after my mother died, well, in theory, it was my fault for her death...or at least that's what the one I call "father" tells me.

I'm taken out of my thoughts by the sound of the alarm clock, it's time to go to school.

The good thing about my father being always drunk is that it takes him hours to wake up.

I get ready quickly and go to the kitchen, grab an apple and leave the house... you might be thinking that when I get to school everything will be fine, well, I wish.

Because even though I've never done anything, it seems like everyone hates me... and can I blame them?

I just put on my hood and headphones, and ignore all the insults directed at me.

Until I'm suddenly pushed into the lockers.

"Hey, killer"

Yes, they know, my father thought it could make my situation worse if he told the people who hate me that I killed my mother.

And he succeeded.

"what do you want?"

I ask the boy a little bigger than me standing in front of me.

"look, he knows how to talk"

He makes fun of me making his friends laugh at me.

"I don't even need to ask if you have money, right? You never even eat at school..."

Yes he's right, I've been working hard to save enough money to move house, and I want to save as much as I can.

"since you don't have money to give us, we'll make you a punch toy...what do you think about that?!"

He asks mockingly, pushing me to the closet behind me, damn it hurts.

He was going to punch me until I heard a scream, we all stopped and looked in the direction of the angry scream.

A girl who had just entered that school, and already had impressive popularity, because of her beauty and her charisma, everyone loved her.

She comes over and pushes the guy who was about to punch me away from me.

Then they started discussing something that I honestly didn't want to hear, but I don't know why I can't stop looking at her.

She is a beautiful woman, I confess, I think she is impressive.

But seriously, look at me, and look at her.

The idiots soon left, and she turns to me and holds out her hand to lift me up.

Wait, get me up?

Oh my goodness, did I just sit on the floor and watch her?

What a shame, why did I do this?

"are you well?"

She asks me in her sweet voice, I feel my cheeks heat up... no, no, what is that? What is she revealing with my body?

I rudely deny her help, yes I'm being stupid with her so she can leave me alone, I don't get along with people, and she will definitely end up hating me.

I don't want to get hurt again.

Flashback.on.

Shortly after my mother died, I went through a very difficult time.

He was run over in my place, she pushed me away from the car, which should have killed me.

With that alone, you can already imagine what I'm talking about, right?

Well, I blamed myself, and my father too, when mom died, my father started drinking, drinking, drinking and drinking.

There were times when he didn't have the strength to even get up, but every time he had the strength to hurt me.

Whether, just with words or physical aggression....it hurt, and it still hurts.

Should I have reported him when he started? Yes, it should, but I'm afraid, afraid of him finding out and wanting to kill me.

But I still had my friends...or at least that's what I thought.

When school was still my safe haven, my father decided one day to show up there and tell everyone in my class that I killed my mother.

I don't know how he managed to do it, but he did it, he turned the few people who supported me, against me.

Now everyone hates me, and everyone knows I'm a monster.

Flashback.off.

I was in my class, looking out the window, until I felt someone poke my shoulder.

And there she was, she looks into my eyes and gives a sweet smile.

"may I sit here?"

She asks pointing to the class next to me, I nod slightly.

She sits next to me excitedly, and starts trying to start a conversation with me, the people who enter the rooms look at me as if they want to kill me.

Yeah, I don't think that's a good sign.

Continues....

Again sorry for my bad English💜

10 notes · View notes

wallcrawld · 1 year

Text

REPOST & LIST 6 SONGS THAT INSPIRE YOU TO WRITE YOUR MUSE.

ㅤㅤKEEP THE RAIN by searows ----- i don't know what steps to take / i do the easy ones until it helps / little acts of conversation / i don't think i really like myself / am i comfortable in silence? / or is it eating me alive? / nothing's ever really quiet / when you need distraction to survive

ㅤㅤFUNERAL by phoebe bridgers ----- i'm singin' at a funeral tomorrow / for a kid a year older than me / and I've been talkin' to his dad / it makes me so sad when i think too much about it, i can't breathe / jesus christ, i'm so blue all the time / and that's just how i feel / i have a friend i call when I've bored myself to tears / and we talk until we think we might just kill ourselves / but then we laugh until it disappears

ㅤㅤMARS by sleeping at last ----- we laid our names to rest / along the dotted line / we left our date of birth and our history behind / we were full of life we could barely hold it in / we were amateurs at war, strangers to suffering / we made our families proud but scared at the same time / we promised we'd be safe / another lie from the front lines / our nights have grown so long / now we beg for sound advice / let the brokenness be felt 'til you reach the other side / there is goodness in the heart of every broken man who comes right up to the edge of losing everything he has / now we're young enough to try to build a better life

ㅤㅤPLEASE, PLEASE, LET ME GET WHAT I WANT by the smiths ---good times for a change / see, the luck i've had can make a good man turn bad / so please, please, please / let me, let me, let me / let me get what i want / this time / haven't had a dream in a long time / see, the life i've had / can make a good man bad / so for once in my life / let me get what i want / lord knows, it would be the first time

ㅤㅤBE NICE TO ME by the front bottoms ----- i got boulders on my shoulders / collar bones begin to crack / there is very little left of me and it's never coming back / there are certain things you ask of me / and there are certain things I'll lack / what's it matter anymore ? / if you believe the lies i tell / there's no meaning to the words / but we still sing these songs well / we are running out of time / we are running, we are running / but you're a killer and i'm your best friend / think it's unfair, your situation / i try to write you poems, but the words they don't make sense / the hand tries to grip the pencil, but the fingers are too tense

ㅤㅤFOREST FIRE by brighton ----- when you were young you used to dream about fires / and scream into the night / to find me standing barefoot at your side / i used to whisper it will be alright / and how was i to know i'm not strong / i should have saved you and i hope you know that you're my home / but now i'm lost / now i'm the one left screaming through the night / i'm gonna carry your bones / i'm gonna carry them all / i'm gonna carry you home / i'm gonna bury these bones / i'm gonna write it in stone / that you were my home

BONUS SONG : BLITZKRIEG BOP — THE RAMONES

& 6 QUOTES THAT INSPIRE YOU TO WRITE YOUR MUSE.

⊹ ❝ i offer to you my bones and my veins. that parts that break and spill ❞ — mary kate teske ⊹ ❝ we leave doors open for people who'll never knock again. stubborn human heart. living, for the maybes and what ifs. hoping, until the day it dies ❞ — mollie adler ⊹ ❝ the worst thing in the world can happen, but the next day the sun will come up. you will eat your toast. and you will drink your tea. ❞ — rhian ellis ⊹ ❝ you remember too much, my mother said to me recently. why hold onto all that ? and i said, where do i put down ? ❞ — anne carson ⊹ ❝ the tragic hero is complete. you can call him unhappy (miserable, utterly broken) even before he is dead. for an instant he is something like divine. and then he dies, because there's nothing left to do. ❞ — michael kinnucan ⊹ ❝ and when i turned to face grief, i saw that it was just love in a heavy coat. ❞ — shannon barry

BONUS QUOTES : ❝ we're not just our failures. as much as they hurt, we learn from them. then we go out there and do our best to make up for them — even though we never will. we save people. we save as many as we can to make up for the ones we couldn't. that's all we do. ❞ — the boy himself ):

and of course,

❝ with great power, comes great responsibility. ❞

tagged by: @spidersiren THANK YOU BELOVED tagging: @gardiennes, @spinxeret, @arachnidiots, @proditeur, @kryptonfuture, @timewound, @magitanna, @gobleir, @loetise, @eideticspider, and you !!

#no peter would not listen to all of these songs or really any of them but that's okay bc they inspire me to write him regardless <3 #he likes his upbeat stuff but unfortunately his life is a tragedy so inspo music for him is always sad for me 😭#LOVED THIS WOW #THANK U AGAIN DOLLIE I KISS U #🕸️ ･ﾟ* dash games

8 notes · View notes

khaleesiofalicante · 1 year

Note

god, I've been in and out of this fandom for a while but I got the email and was being way too expressive reading Shades Of Gray and thought oh I haven't liveblogged anything in a bit so here we are!

girl your one shots are genuinely a blessing for all of us! I have read till the "wear your favourite colour" day part so we gotta recap first

The last time I laughed so much reading a fic was your malec fake dating au. It is getting harder to see the screen because of how much I am laughing. Not Clary with the sage 😭😭. I gotta agree with Alec here though. Working at Edom sounds like a headache, literally a headache. But also fun? Idk I think this place would make me want to kill myself but also have the best time of my life. Yes, I make so much sense! What is this voice app thing though...sounds creepy...

Not Alec saying he wants to eat Magnus' voice WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT but also yes same me too.

SLAMMED MY LAPTOP'S LID DOWN AT THE "baby" SIR WE JUST STARTED WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN-

what...what concerning shit have you said...?

ALEC IS SO DONE WITH ALL HIS COLLEAGUES I LOVE HIS ENERGY

HJFHDJKIF MAGNUS TELLING ALEC ABOUT THE WORK EVENT THEY ARE ABOUT TO MEET STOP I'M LOSING IT. Or maybe not meet idk but this work event is definitely the Christmas party because y'know "Edom" and the Asmodeus tag

dear god this entire fic is just gonna be Alec thirsting, isn't it? I love it. Oh, I read a fic like that for another fandom recently!! painting on the other person's back. You should definitely do it

It makes him want to punch Magnus’ dad in the face.

Me too dude...me too

I think I'm gonna put on music. Okay found a playlist!

Seriously. What’s with this need to eat and drink all things related to Magnus? Is Alec not eating well? Should he just drink more water?

DUDE I CAN'T-

Okay their voice messages to each other are now the highlight of my night this is so cute actually

ayyy Halloween time!

my god these people really go all out-

Noo Magnus didn't message him :( I wonder if everything's okay on that end

Clary would look nice as Scarlet Witch

I'll take the Batman costume!

Why can’t they just accept him for the cunt he is, huh?

Okay, this made me snort. I like his energy

THE WHOLE PARTY AND JACE SITUATION JUST MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD HE'S SUCH A MESS

I'm the same with a cute girl so understandable

wait no come back I wanna see the slutty satan

Okay Magnus do I need to kill your father? Because I will if you want me to

Alec screams into a pillow.

Mood.

THE MESSAGE HE JUST SENT??? ALEC??? I have never seen a more chaotic gay

“Hello, Alexander. If you don’t stop being cute, I swear I’m going to fall in love with you.” Alec listens to it only 87 times.

OH OKAY THEN I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

GREAT JACE IS JUST AS CHAOTIC ABOUT THE PERSON HE LIKES. Izzy has all the brain cells in the fic and she does not share

I am listening to a character playlist so I am absolutely losing my shit while You're On Your Own Kid plays in the background 😭😭

so...lesson learned...don't drink water while reading this fic because now my comforter is wet...

LMAO CLARY IS GONNA JOIN THEM FOR BRUNCH THIS KEEPS ON GETTING BETTER

Alec swallows. “I like talking to you, Magnus.” “Alexander,” Magnus says when he replies not a minute later. “I like talking to you too.”

JUST GET MARRIED

"summoning spirits" BYEE-

oh this is actually really nice

okay, I understand he wouldn't want to talk about his brother with a bunch of people who are practically strangers to him but like...that was rude. I am with Maia on this one

bestie we cannot only be with the people in our phones!

god I need tea it is 2am I should most definitely not make tea

OH IT'S THAT KIND OF MESSAGE ALRIGHT THEN-

bitch how much are they paying you and how do I get the job?

no no he has a point. HOW is she so optimistic in the corporate environment??

Alec wouldn’t mind being a sugar baby and forsaking his career. He likes working. But not that much.

HDFUHIDFUI YES YOU SHOULD DO IT-

HE'S PAINTING ALEC???????????

He wonders if he should ask Magnus whether he’d like for Alec to do his taxes for him.

I- 😭😭

BLUE AND GOLD SOMEONE HOLD ME

I... they're falling in love I am gonna go cry now

HIS ALARM??? He's GONE

Where the hell did Jace get the "four arms" from???

Realistically, Clary has a point

MAGNUS IS GONNA BE COMING TO NEW YORK FOR THE HOLIDAYS LET'S GO FUCKERS

I wanna hug Magnus YOU'RE NOT TOO MUCH!

“Baby, if we meet in person, there ain’t gonna be any talking.”

True dat

honey you ARE very pretty and I am certain Magnus will feel that too

It’s not like he can kidnap Magnus and force him to like Alec. He really hopes it won’t come to that.

Uh- let's just start with a date :D

We can just like throw Asmodeus off a cliff?

WAIT SHIT MAGNUS IS GONNA BE AT THE PARTY WON'T HE?? but there is still half the fic left...

wait omg is Magnus the one coming up with these themes?? Jace said that they maybe come from the boss' children or smth

“We’re not circus monkeys!” Alec grumbles. “Honestly. Light Up the World. What the actual fuck? I’m gonna buy a tube light and shove it up this person’s ass. That’ll light up their world.”

DUDE, I CAN'T BREATHE I-

damn that is...very bright

HE'S STARING AT MAGNUS ISN'T HE????

IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WAS RIGHT THE IDEAS WERE, IN FACT, COMING FROM MAGNUS

my Spotify won't work this is very annoying let me listen to the taylor swift carlos reyes playlist the nice person on Twitter made!

ALEC RECOGNISES HIMMMMM

this is why there's still half the fic left, isn't it?

I am gonna start crying now wtf. we fucked up Alec...

my Spotify is still being shit okay gimme a sec

Okay I'm back

my god how are we fixing this

you know plastic surgery may not be that bad of an option...

THE BRITISH ACCENT NO ALEC NO I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

MY STOMACH HURTS FROM LAUGHING SO MUCH OH MY GOD HE'S SUCH A MESS

NO, HE THREW MAGNUS' PHONE

I haven't laughed so hard in a while. Thank you.

ALEC FIX YOUR MESS THIS IS BREAKING MY HEART

is it too late for plastic surgery?

oh ouch.

okay the break room is fucking amazing where do I sign up-

this is making me cry while Fearless plays in the background so not ideal

Ugh, it's that bitch again. Can I punch him instead of Alec?

wait before I scroll further I need water

okay I got water

ALEC PUNCH HIM DO IT

OMG ALEC PUNCHED HIM LET'S GOOOO

and thus begins the fall of Edom! Because Magnus is right, Edom is nothing without creativity

yes bitch you are awesome!!

I am gonna stab Asmodeus to death :)

Magnus is so SO good

Y'all good for each other. Now get married

We're painting together!!

okay I like where this is going

“You are neither boring nor empty,” Magnus whispers to him. “You have so much inside you. You feel so much, Alexander. When people have a lot of feelings, this is what it looks like. Not like a rainbow but like a storm cloud.”

CRYING AND SOBBING WTF

Magnus laughs at that. Alec falls in love all over again. “I’m saying, sometimes you don’t have to participate to enjoy something. You can just watch. It’s still fun.” “Like porn,” Alec says.

VERY NEARLY SPIT OUT MY WATER AGAIN. I will never learn

YES THEY KISSED!!

Alec took the puppy with him??? I LOVE HIM

"say fuck in every sentence day" is actually the greatest thing ever yes I love it where do I join?

FIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Alec, for the hundredth time, we can’t use the home theatre at the office just so you can watch Magnus’ insta reels on a big screen.”

And why the hell not?

AWW PURPLE PAW PRINTS!!!

LMAO ASMODEUS ISN'T COMING TO THE WEDDING!! his loss!

okay wow yes that was fucking amazing. and chaotic. and the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Dani this was seriously so good and I loved reading it SO MUCH!! THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Okay it i past 3am I need to sleep. Byee <33 Also I am not proof reading this I am too tired so if this is like some fucked up mess I apologize. Okay good night

EVIE OMG I MISSED YOUR LIVE REACTIONS SO MUCH.

I was laughing the entire time lmaooooo.

God bless you, good human ♥️

#shades of gray

9 notes · View notes

stacywaters · 1 year

Text

Hidden Behind a Smile (JIN) CH5 - The Message

(SEOKJIN POV)

I walk into the shop, immediately noticing Y/N slumped over at the register. I walk over.

"Hey! How'd the fan meet go?"

"Ugh," she groans, "I totally embarrassed myself in front of Jin. Again. Last night was a whirlwind of emotions."

"Really? What happened?" I ask.

"So, the other members all went fine, but when I saw Jin I like, stopped breathing?" She chuckles, "He was so gorgeous, you wouldn't even understand, J. He was wearing this red shirt, anyways! So when I got to him, I was so focused on him that I wasn't looking where I was going and totally tripped in front of everyone."

"Oh no!" I said, grinning like a fool beneath my mask that she thought I was so attractive she tripped.

"He was super nice about it though! We joked for a bit and then he signed my album. He was even more amazing than I thought he'd be..." She trails off.

"Is that it?" I question. Surely she noticed my note, right?

"Yep! That's all." She smiles, "It was great though! Thank you so much for the tickets."

"Did you read what he-, what the members wrote to you?" I'm completely fishing at this point. Saturday is tomorrow! I need her to read it if my plan is to work!

"No, I figured they just write their signature or something"

"Really? Well I heard that they write little notes on the photo books. I've seen screenshots of people who's idols even asked them out or gave the fan their phone number! Hey, maybe Jin asked you out!" I tease.

"Oh please, why would Jin like me? He could have any girl."

But I want you...

"Just sayin'. It's worth checking, right?"

"I guess." She mumbles, "Stop getting my hopes up though! I'm just happy that I was able to meet him at all. Now if you will excuse me, I need to get back to work."

I sigh and leave the shop. What if she doesn't read it in time? What if she's disappointed and doesn't show up? What if she realizes it's me and doesn't like me at all anymore?

———————

(YOUR POV)

I clock out of my shift and walk home. On the way, I think about what J had said.

What was that about? Was he trying to tell me something? He seemed so serious about reading the messages...

I brush it off as I walk through my door. After putting my stuff away, I sit down at my desk where I left the album yesterday. Opening up the photo book, I begin reading what they wrote. I laugh and smile reading through them. Memories from yesterday fill my mind and I gush at the amazing experience.

After reading all the others, I flip to Jin's page. Before I begin, I think back to what J said. What if he did ask me out?

"Don't be silly, Y/N. That sort of thing only happens in fan fiction." Say out loud. I start to read the page.

Dear Y/N,

Thank you so much for listening to our music and coming to the signing today! Your support means the word to us. I'd like to see you again. Wanna meet at Lotte World this Saturday at 10:00 am?

I'll be waiting for you,

Your Jinnie

If it wasn't on the desk, I would have dropped the book. Jin, THE Jin, wants to meet ME? A random girl who couldn't even afford the tickets to the fan sign? Some worker at a convenience store? Me? He wants to meet me at Lotte World?

"Wait, Friday, Saturday, tomorrow.." I mumble to myself, "TOMORROW IS THE DAY I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET HIM?" I practically scream.

I rush to my closet and flip through the clothes.

"No, no, no, not good enough!!" I yell.

I crumble to the floor. Not because I can't find something to wear, but because the reality of the situation hit me.

"If anything he just thought I was cute, and when he gets to know me he'll find out I'm a total weirdo with 7,000 pictures of him on my phone." Right as I say that, my phone buzzes. I'm relieved to find that J had messaged me.

J: I know you're off your shift by now. Did your sweetheart leave you a message? 😉

Me: J.., This is crazy

J: What? Did he actually?

Me: He asked me to meet him at Lotte World tomorrow..

J: Oh wow! It looks like your crush finally noticed :) congrats!

Me: No!! This is a problem! He's gonna meet me and think I'm insane!

J: And why would he think that?

Me: I can't believe I'm telling this to you...

Me: I have like- a million photos of him,

Me: He's my phone lock screen,

Me: I didn't even buy the ticket myself,

J: I don't see why he wouldn't like you because of THAT

Me: I'm friends with this weird guy named J,

J: Hey! You take that back! I'm the only reason you get to go on a date with Jin tomorrow 😡

Me: You're just jealous because you wish it was you on a date with me ;)

J: Nope. A date with Jin, though, I am jealous of that.

I laugh and set my phone down on my bed. J always has a weird ability of making me feel better. I decide to go to bed to be sure that I'm well rested before my date tomorrow.

1 note · View note

blazehedgehog · 2 years

Note

Did you ever grind with soap shoes like Sonic did in SA2?

If I ever made an attempt it probably would have killed me.

Content Warning for descriptions of getting badly thrashed as a kid.

Growing up, I feel like I wasn't an especially clumsy person. I did not knock things over too often, or trip over my own feet, nothing of that sort.

But what I did have was very poor judgment on the danger level of a situation I was in. Worse yet, I had a cousin who owned multiple skateboards. I had a lot of minor accidents where I'd come away with badly scraped knees or long ugly bruises or whatever, but by far the worst one was the time where I was on his longboard, laying on my stomach, just pushing myself around their walkways. I was maybe 11 or 12.

And I was just having fun gliding along, when I pushed too hard without thinking and bumped in to the lip where their walkway ended and the sidewalk began.

My head went WHIP and snapped down against the curb as I literally kissed the concrete. Ugh, that really hurt. Hey, my mouth feels really weird. Is that blood? Oh, no. That's a lot of blood. THAT'S A REALLY LOT OF BLOOD UHHH WHAT DID I DO IT HURTS SO BAD

I start crying and screaming as adults come running out. I am bleeding so much that my Mom has to cup her hand under my face because it's just splashing out of my mouth all over the ground.

When I smacked my head on the sidewalk, it seemed my lower jaw collided with the rest of my face so hard that my two front teeth dug in to my lower lip, tore it open, and because the force was so strong it also nearly knocked those front teeth out. Operative term here is "nearly."

Those teeth are still connected, but they have now been bent almost completely horizontally, backwards, pointing in to my mouth.

So I sat on my aunt and uncle's couch for the next two hours, using a damp rag and a bowl of cold water to catch all the blood gushing out of my bottom lip, while I simultaneously used my tongue to work my front teeth back in to place, slowly, bit by bit.

Believe it or not, everything healed just fine without me having to visit a dentist, though I've carried a big scar on my bottom lip for most of my life.

It was on that day I decided I would never stand on a skateboard ever again.

That cousin did eventually get grind shoes, I believe, and I saw him use them once. But I would never dare put them on.

And that assessment of danger never went away, I should note. As recently as 2013 or 2014, when I still lived in Colorado, my brother came out to see my Mom and I and he brought his daughter with him. She wanted to race me to the end of the block. So I figured, I'm gonna smoke this little kid. I'm gonna give it my all. I'd been exercising a lot around this time, so I felt pretty confident that even though I weighed like 250 pounds, I could do it.

We go, and I blast off like a shot. Get about four or five steps in to my run, and... oops, I'm heavier than I thought I'd be. I've shifted my weight too far forward too quickly. WHUMP. I hit the ground.

And I lay there.

"...Are you okay? Hey, ARE YOU OKAY??"

By the time I'm able to catch my breath from having the wind knocked out of me, they can hear I'm laughing my head off. I was sore for a few days but no worse for wear.

Don't let me do stunts.

#questions #Anonymous #soap shoes #grinding #sonic adventure 2 #sega #sonic team #sonic the hedgehog #cw blood

6 notes · View notes

lunarsprites · 1 year

Text

08.08.23 - 09.08.23

I began writing earlier on my phone but I ran out of time.

I have this feeling that overflows each time, usually before my period comes, and it's the hardest thing for me to deal with because it's a whirlwind- no, something much messier than that- of emotions. It's like being strapped to a rollercoaster against your will. Some turns make you happy, and some make you incredibly afraid. Some turns make you cry, some make you enraged because you can't get yourself off and you don't know why.

It's so detrimental. I feel so stuck when this time comes around. It fogs my mind and puts a strain on my heart. It's especially not good because it clouds all the feelings I have in my current situation. It makes me feel so attached to this person. When I know I shouldn't be. And it makes me so utterly terrified when I am normally calm about the perimiters we've agreed upon.

At times, I feel as though I love him; or something along those lines. But as soon as those feelings rise, they get tossed into my brain and rationalized almost instantly that I could not be with this person on a serious committed basis for a multitude of reasons. But the comfort of it all in the moment, when we're alone and laughing or he's kissing my forehead and the way he holds me, the way he sometimes seems to care a little more, is so easy to just... Get lost in.

Trust me, I don't want to have these lingering feelings and this attachment, but since he's been staying over so frequently, and especially in this last week of just us being alone in the house, it's been blurring lines I drew; we drew. At least for me. I know where he stands with it, and I know there's nothing that can flourish from this. And the thought of that does pull at my heart a little. I can't lie, it does.

But there's really not much I can do about it. I just know I need to just be in control of my own life again. Things feel chaotic.

Maybe they're chaotic, or, at least seem that way right now because of this stupid bull-rush of hormones that is trampling me at the moment.

I need to realign myself again. This time of the year has been the roughest for me for the last four years. It's always been when things have fallen apart in the past; in my last relationship, it's always when things went south and the floor caved from beneath me and had me spiraling down an abyss. I want to break the cycle so badly. There's nothing more I want than to break this stupid cycle. I don't want to be sabotaging myself just because in the past it's what kept happening. I don't want to drown anymore. I am safe now, safer than I was.

It's so hard to feel like I'm not alone, but I know I'm not. I think I'm not... I know I could reach out to those around me but, I really don't want to burden anyone. I don't want to be a victim and be weak and, believe me, I know it's okay not to be okay but at times I feel as though the friends I reach out to may be a little tired of hearing the same sort of things. I don't want to tell my mother either because I'll just hear the same thing. So I just get left with having to tough it out again. I can't lie at times like these I feel so suffocated I just want to scream into a void. I also just want to be told it's okay, that I'm doing okay, that I'm enough, and that I'm loved. I just want to be embraced.

[ 1:15 - but fuck, it's so suffocating right now. everyone is in their rooms; one flatmate walked out to me crying and just assumed I was crying because I was reading something and laughed it off. And I just played it off. My best friend also just walked out and just ignored me as well. I'm sure she has reservations toward me lately. He's in my room asleep and I can't even wake him up because he has work tomorrow, and also I've never shown any other emotion that wasn't just normal mild frustrations with external things and positivity around him. He'd probably be confused if I just came into the room crying my eyes out. But, fuck, it'd help so much to be held right now. Then again, the fuck would he even say, we're not dating, showing too much empathy or any emotion correlated to 'love' would be a line cross for him surely. ]

But I can never bring myself to ask that of anyone. I don't want to trouble anyone with emotions that may just be fleeting and that I'll eventually mull over and let pass me by.

I want to talk about it, but I honestly don't even know where to begin with it. If I were to call anyone right now, out of my closest friends, I would probably just hold back and not be able to say anything or the words would get stuck in my throat and I wouldn't be able to sort my thoughts out well enough and it'd be all misunderstood. I hate these feelings the most.

I feel hollow most of the time. I'm myself around everyone, but I also question who I truly am so often. Especially with these monthly ups and downs, the second I feel like myself and I feel good, two weeks later it resets into this chaotic mess and I just want to scream and tear everything apart and do nothing and hope all my problems go away if I just disappear. I don't want to see anyone, be around anyone, do anything. It's the worst because I know it's fleeting. But I just want it to never happen in the first place. Especially around this time of the year. The heart aches just worsen and I feel sick to my stomach.

0 notes