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#i just want to fucking live. can i please like ... have a life. that i can experience. without wishing i could die literally constantly
wosoluver · 3 days
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Oh, baby
Georgia Stanway x reader.
I know nothing about giving birth so bare with me. Also please don't kill me for the plot changes, Hope you like it!
Other players masterlist
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"Fuck!" you said feeling the warm liquid run down your legs. "No, no, no." You were staying over at her parents' house. Tomorrow would be the final match at the 2023 world cup and you would be gathered to watch the game there.
"Jo! We need to go, my water just broke!" you said grabbing her mother's attention. Her dad had gone to Australia to support her, but her mom refused leaving you, pregnant and alone. And you thanked the universe. You were 36 weeks, you were to give birth only next month. You had been feeling small contractions, that were apparently normal in the third trimester.
That was the only reason Georgia agreed to go.
A million thoughts went through your mind. Would the baby be okay? Would they have to do a C-section?
Would your fiancé be okay, knowing she missed the moment se was waiting so excited for? Were you even ready for this?
You started to cry immediately.
"Don't worry love, I'm calling her as soon as you're in the hospital."
"No please! You can't! You know her!" you said followed by a scream when you felt the sharp pain of a contraction hit you. "Please, please wait as much as we can. This is important for her, she needs to be a hundred percent focused."
"But seeing her daughter's birth is too..."
"I know but even if she knows, she'll won't get here in time. Please."
She only nodded agreeing with you. And you asked her to call your parents instead.
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While you walked around the room, preparing yourself for the ride ahead, in attempt to stay sound, you thought about what had led you here.
You and Georgia had been together for almost six years.
You had met at Man City, both came from a small town and were around the same age, sharing the dream to become big players.
You started dating, and your relationship went through a lot.
You endured for years a long distance relationship, when you moved away to play in Spain and she stayed back in Manchester.
A couple of seasons later you transferred to Bayern, where your girlfriend soon followed suit.
And you both finally managed to start your life together.
She didn't want to wait any longer, all that time had been enough.
From living together to her proposing, life felt like pure bliss.
And after the 2022 euro's title, you felt like it was the right time to have a pause on your career.
It wasn't an easy decision, since the World Cup was around the corner.
But differently from your teammates, you now had a bigger dream, Georgia fully supported you, she herself had always wanted to be a mother.
You didn't expect for it to work so soon.
Along with the risks the doctors had told you, it could take more than one try.
Fortunately the whole pregnancy had been very healthy, and nothing gave you any reason to think something like this could happen.
You questioned yourself if you were doing the right thing, by not updating her on the matter.
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Georgia's head was buzzing, Spain was winning by a goal. England had slightly recovered at the end of first half, but it wasn't enough.
She sat on the locker room, trying to cool down, zoning out a bit. All she could think of was winning this, to come home as a champion. For her girls.
She could have never imagined you had been in the hospital for the last couple of hours, let alone giving birth. So she didn't bother to look for her phone.
And before she knew, she was walking back to the field for the second half.
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"Just one more push, yeah?"
And you did as a loud cry filled the room. And they placed her right on your chest.
You felt like you could pass out from how tired you were.
But you couldn't, yet.
"You did great darling." her mom cooed you in between tears.
"Is the game over yet?"
"Yes, they won second place." she handed your phone over.
You cried hard a the sound of that. She had been deprived of being champion and seeing her daughter's first moments in the same day, at the same time. You tried to recompose yourself while you pressed to facetime her.
ongoing call...
"Hey love, what took you so lon-" she managed to get out before shutting up at the realization. A big smile appearing in her tear stained face. "She's beautiful."
before she could say anything else, Lucy, who was prying at the video call, loudly announced to everyone.
"The baby is here!" and you could hear the girls cheering loudly. Running to try and congratulate you.
"You guys are so loud, geez." your soon to be wife said after a few moments, walking to a more private place, so you both could talk.
"I am so sorry." you said eyes filled with tears.
"We couldn't have known." she said giving you a reassuring smile. "I was going to show you this baby here," showing her silver medal at the camera. "But it seems like you're already holding our baby right there."
And for over ten minutes you two sat quietly, just admiring the angel you had brought into the world.
"Is she okay? I mean she clearly looks like it, but since she's early..."
"Better than expected actually. They said she's around 6.30 lbs and over 19 inches. Pretty big for a preterm. They'll run some tests in the morning, just to be sure." you said letting out a yawn.
"You need to get some sleep. And I'm getting on the first plane home."
"I love you, and I'm so proud of you."
"Oh baby, I'm the one who's proud. I love you. Both of you."
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Maybe another part with G meeting baby Talia?
like & share pls!
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beenbaanbuun · 1 day
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ateez as muppets
i have work in the morning but muppets are more important than sleep
fun fact about me! the muppets was the only film i watched for a period of about 2 months. i would watch it at least once a day, sometimes twice, and i had the soundtrack downloaded so i could even get my muppets fix on the move… anyway🧍🏻‍♀️
kim hongjoong - beaker
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hear me out!!!!! despite being a little orange tube who makes zero sense when he talks in ‘meeps’, he is smart (not really)! he’s a scientist!! he is dr bunsen’s right hand man!!!!
he also just carries the aura of hongjoong about him with that dainty frame and red hair. hongjoong and beaker are twins, i’m sorry
park seonghwa - kermit the frog
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i can tell i’m losing you here and honestly, i’m losing myself but let me explain!! kermit is caring. of all his personality traits that one sticks out to me the most
this muppet would give it everything he has for the other muppets and that’s a trait i see a lot in seonghwa. he loves his team, and kermit loves the muppets
jeong yunho - fozzie bear
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what can i say other than the guy is just silly? he lives his life on where the next pun is coming from and he’s willing to put in the work to find reasons to make a joke
he also just kind of looks like yunho? look at this fuzzy little fuck and tell me you don’t see yunho buried behind those beady eyes. i need it for halloween, yunho PLEASE
kang yeosang - miss piggy
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it was between miss piggy and rizzo rat but i thought about it for a few more seconds and realised that miss piggy is literally just yeosang… like come on
the beauty, the sass, the elegance, the love she shares for her fellow muppets despite not always being able to show it. tell me that’s not yeosang, i fucking dare you
choi san - rowlf the dog
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i love rowlf. he’s so chill and yet he’s a man of many talents! sure, he’s a dog first and foremost but did you also know he’s an actor? a pianist?? a veterinarian??? just like san, this dog can do it all
i also just kind of want to hug him in the same way i want to hug san. i just know in my heart of hearts that it’s such a warm, gentle hug
song mingi - animal
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i was struggling for mingi until i remembered that oh yeah! animal exists and just like mingi that muppet is just an unstoppable ball of energy who thinks he’s so cool
mingi gives me drummer energy which is why i have written him as one multiple times. animal is also a drummer, and a pretty sick one at that!
jung wooyoung - rizzo rat
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the main reason i picked rizzo for wooyoung is bc he’s a chatterbox. it’s not necessarily the most helpful or intelligent of things but it is being said whether you like it or not
rizzo is mischievous and fun and he makes me giggle and if that isn’t wooyoung?? he also has a lot of love to give! watch a muppets christmas carol and you’ll see what i mean 🙂‍↕️
choi jongho - gonzo
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gonzo just feels so jongho to me. from his exasperation with the other muppets to his daring nature (bro fires himself out of cannons…) he’s just so jongho!!!!
gonzo has that divorced dad of 3 drip that i know jongho would look stellar in. you’re telling me jongho wouldn’t rock a floral shirt?? some suspenders??? he’s a dilf! of course he would…
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tpwk-formula1 · 12 hours
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Hi, can I get the following with Max please:
- Gluten free crust
- Red sauce
- Olives
- Peperoni
- Jalapeños
- Chicken
- Roasted peppers
- Ham
- Argula
- Pulled pork
- Beer
- Pepsi
- Root beer
- Dessert
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Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
gluten-free enemies to lovers red sauce rough sex olives "Swallow every last bit. NOW!" pepperoni "Be a good girl, and you'll get what you want" jalapenos "Always such a fucking brat" chicken "Awe, you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" roasted peppers "Such a good whore" ham "You're so infuriating. Walking around like you own the place and then come back to my room to get fucked properly" arugula "I love stretching this pussy out" chorizo "God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you" beer edging pepsi oral kink root beer daddy kink served by Max Verstappen
TW mean max, face fuck, degrading terms, cum swallowing, pussy eating, unprotected set, slight size kink, multiple orgasms, edging, cummin on body
WC 2900+
Y/N POV
"Max they need you in the car now," I shout through the door trying to get Max to get out of his driver's room.
"Leave me alone little Horner," Max says walking past me and brushing shoulders with me quite aggressively. I just roll my eyes at the attitude radiating off of Max.
I just walk in the other direction not wanting to get into it with Max today. I was the daughter of Christian Horner, and Max and I have never gotten along. Even when we were both young teenagers we would still find a way to bicker back and forth. Back when we were younger it would be over stupid things like what type of coffee was better. Now, that we are older and I work for Red Bull Max has taken it upon himself to make sure to make my work life a living hell.
As the race day continues I watch as Checo is excelling on the Baku track while Max is currently fighting to not get overtaken by Lando who started in the back of the grid.
When Lando overtook Max I had to contain my laugh knowing the engineers around me were not enjoying Max's race. I think the race is pretty much a wrap when all of a sudden I watch as Checo and Carlos collide into the way making me cringe as all of Checo's hard work this weekend is down the drain in a matter of seconds.
I brace myself for the shouts that start ringing out in our garage even hearing Ferrari shouting from how loud they had gotten.
When the race finally finished under a VSC I continued watching as Max's starts overtaking Lando and George. I hear Lando start mentioning Max making me smirk a little. I knew he wasn't gonna get into any kind of trouble but it was funny listening in on him getting snitched on.
Once everything starts to calm down from the intense ending of the race I make my way back into the hospitality to pack up my stuff to head back to the hotel and get some rest before my early morning flight tomorrow.
"You're the last person I fucking want to see right now," Max shouts when I walk into one of the conference rooms to gather my laptop and the rest of my belongings I left in here during the race.
"I'm just getting my stuff," I say softly not wanting to get into a screaming match with Max.
"I'm sure you are," Max says rolling his eyes like I had told some lie.
"What are you getting at Max?" I snap at him when I make it to the corner where my bag of stuff is sitting.
"I just think it's ironic you just so happen to always be where I am. It's like you're fucking obsessed with me," Max says while standing up and approaching me, making me start to back up slightly.
When my back hits the wall Max is now standing face to face with me.
"Max, back up," I whisper starting to get a bit scared. Max and I had always gone at it but he had also never once gotten into my face before.
"Come back to my hotel with me. I'm fucking exhausted from fighting off the sexual frustration," Max says making me gasp before laughing slightly.
"you're fucking insane if you think we have sexual tension between us and you need to go to a mental hospital if you thought THAT would work on me," I say before pushing him back and attempting to try and leave.
When Max grabs my wrist I groan knowing he wasn't done with the conversation.
"One night, let me fuck you till the sunrises and then we go back to whatever this is," Max says making me step to him so we are back to being chest to chest.
"No," I simply say trying to turn around again but stop in my tracks when Max shouts again.
"One fucking night," Max shouts. I instantly turn back around pushing at his chest a little making him stumble.
"Max if I go back with you and you don't have me on the edge of cumming within 5 minutes I'm getting up and going back to my room," I tell him sternly.
"I only need 2," Max says cockily making me shake my head before leaving the room.
When I get back to my hotel room I take a quick shower and get partially ready kind of hoping the plans between Max and I weren't just a heated discussion after a bad race.
I'm not even halfway through brushing my teeth when I get a notification on my phone letting me know Max had texted me. When I finished brushing I picked up my phone to see what Max said
"Be here in 10. 342"
I quickly change before stepping out of my room to head for the elevator to head up to Max's room. I feel like I should be having doubts but to be quite frank, I have wanted Max for far longer than I want to admit. He was right there has been sexual tension between us for years but neither one of us trying to admit it.
When I get in front of his hotel room I hesitate before knocking knowing whatever happens tonight will change everything.
"On time, I'm fucking shocked," Max says when he opens the door to let me in.
"Max, what the hell are you on about?" I snap at him not even being able to last 30 seconds without us fighting.
"You're so infuriating. Walking around like you own the place and then come back to my room to get fucked properly" Max says casually making me stop in my tracks and stare at him.
"You're a fucking dick. And don't flatter yourself you have 5 minutes starting now," I say making Max instantly approach me and pull me in for one of the most intense and aggressive makeout sessions I have ever been a part of. I can feel the sparks flying almost instantly. Max picks me up and carries me into the other room where his bed is before he places me on the bed and starts pulling up my shirt making my breath hitch slightly.
When Max has my shirt off he instantly unclips my bra and flings it across the room before pushing me down softly to lie down.
As soon as my back hits the mattress I feel Max's hands making quick work at pulling my pants down leaving me completely bare in less than a minute.
"neuken," Max mumbles making me lift my head slightly. I've known Max long enough to have picked up on some of his Dutch.
"What," I snap worried that something was wrong.
"God the prettiest pussy," Max mumbles before diving right in and pulling my clit into his mouth and instantly sucking it making me arch my back and throw my head back.
"Fuck, Max," I whine when I feel his fingers teasing my entrance.
"How are you already this fucking soaked," Max groans into my pussy sending a new set of vibrations to my clit making me whine again.
"You, Max. It's always been you," I groan when I make eye contact with him. I can see the smirk written all over his face.
Max dives back making me whine. When two of his fingers slip into my tight pussy I instantly scream in pleasure feeling my orgasm approach far faster than I wanted.
"You're fucking close already," Max pulls away slightly to making sure to keep finger fucking me making me moan and nod my head.
"Yes, daddy," I moan without thinking making both Max and I stop almost instantly and stare at each other.
"Daddy?" Max questions with a smirk and before I can even say anything he's fucking me with his fingers far faster than he was previously.
"Max I'm gonna fucking cum," I moan out making Max pull his fingers out leaving me on the edge.
"What the fuck," I shout sitting up slightly so I can look Max in the eyes.
"Awe, you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" Max questions with a smirk making me wanna slap his.
"5 minutes are up. I'm leaving," I say while trying to get up but Max is instantly holding me down not letting me move.
"You said I had 5 minutes to bring you to the edge of cumming, I did," Max says with a smirk taking my words far to literal than I would have hoped.
"Max just make me fucking cum," I say getting frustrated, never being good at handling being edged even though it's one of my favorite things.
"No, not until I get my little nickname again," Max says with a smirk making me scoff and shake my head no.
"Well until then I'm gonna enjoy this pussy," Max says before putting his fingers back into my pussy making me gasp before he starts licking my clit bringing all the pleasure flooding back into my body making me moan.
"Fuck, Max so good," I whine. I knew my orgasm was approaching but instead of announcing it, I tried to hide it.
"Always such a fucking brat," Max says when he pulls his fingers out and moves his mouth from my pussy denying my orgasm again.
"Max," I say seriously.
"No, you know what you need to do, and don't be a fucking brat and try to hide it. I know this body far more than you think," Max says sternly before sending a harsh slap on my pussy making me jump slightly.
Max doesn't waste much time to start playing with my pussy again and it doesn't take me long for my orgasm to slowly start approaching again.
"Fuck," I moan feeling myself crawling to the edging and needing to cum.
"Be a good girl, and you'll get what you want," Max says making me whine.
"Please Daddy, let me cum," I finally break down and beg how Max wanted. This had Max speeding up his actions and throwing me over the edge within moments.
"Fuck, Daddy," I scream when he keeps fucking me even after helping me ride through my orgasm.
"God, you scream too good," Max says finally pulling away after torturing me with overstimulation for a few moments.
When I catch my breath I sit up softly getting out of bed before standing in front of Max pulling him in for another kiss and starting to work on undressing him.
When Max is finally undressed I pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed before getting on my knees for him.
"Such a good whore" Max mumbles when he sees me on my knees getting ready to pull him into my mouth.
When I finally get ready to pull Max into my mouth I realize just how big he was. I hesitate slightly not knowing if I would be able to take him all the way into my mouth but decide there is only one way to find out.
When I pull his tip into my mouth I can taste the salty precum he was already leaking making me suck it up getting addicted on the taste.
When I start bobbing my head I realize Max would still have another inch or so left that I wouldn't be able to take into my mouth so I bring one of my hands to jerk off the rest.
"Fuck, your mouth is finally useful," Max says making me groan around his cock and pinch his thigh with my free hand.
When I pull back from Max's cock I feel the my spit trailing from his cock to my lips making the scene all the more erotic.
I take a few deep breaths before getting back to work on Max's cock needed to make him cum.
I could tell Max was getting close faster than I thought he would which had me bobbing my head faster trying to take all of him into my mouth, before Max is pushing my head down making me gag while he starts cumming down my throat.
I can feel some of his cum leak out of my lips from how hard I was gagging around his cock but Max didn't seem to care too much as it make his hips buck trying to ride his orgasm out.
"Swallow every last bit. NOW!" Max demands when he pulls my head from his dick making me swallow instantly.
"You're a messy slut now," Max says with a smirk making me look over to the mirror that was in the room. When I see my face I have tears running down my cheeks, my freshly washed hair was all over the place, all the while my lips were swollen and pink and covered in my spit and Max's cum. He was right I was messy.
Max roughly wipes my lips rubbing my spit and his cum smearing it on my cheek before he is pulling me in for a heated makeout session again.
"I need to feel that pussy around my cock," Max mumbles against my lips making me whine. I nod my head letting him know I wanted it too.
"Fuck me please daddy," I beg.
This has Max hauling me off my knees before being roughly tossed onto the bed where Max is on me within seconds.
We spent several minutes making out and grinding on each other before Max was fully around again and I was soaked.
I feel Max's cock teasing my entrance making me arch my back in anticipation. When he slowly starts pushing in making me whine at the stretch.
"I love stretching this pussy out," Max groans once he was fully filling me up, giving me only a few moments to adjust before he starts slowly rocking his hips making me whine.
"So big," I gasp out when I feel him hit my cervix for the 3rd time in a row. The pain and burn of being stretched was starting to fade and all I could feel was the pure pleasure coursing through my body now.
"I'm not gonna last Daddy," I moan out warning him of the strong orgasm that was currently impending.
"God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you. Your wrapped around my cock like a fucking slut being all sweet now. If I would have known this would work I would've fucked you years ago," Max groans through clenched teeth making his thrust even harder but keeping the same brutally fast pace.
"I'm gonna cum daddy," I announce just before exploding into my first squirting orgasm making my pleasure fly all over both Max and I. I can hear Max groan but I'm so lost in the pleasure I don't even feel him pull out and start unleashing his load of cum all over my stomach.
"Fuck," Max shouts which finally brings me back enough making me realize I was now covered in cum, but I was far too blissed out to care.
Max only took a couple of seconds before he got up and threw on a pair of boxers. I knew if I tried to stand right now my legs would give out on me but I didn't want to overstay my welcome so I slowly start pulling myself out of bed feeling Max's cum start sliding down my body making me cringe slightly at the thought of putting my clothes on top of it.
"What are you doing," Max says while holding a rag and watching me attempt to get up.
"I figured you wanted me to leave," I tell him softly while still pulling myself together before standing up. But before my feet can even touch the ground Max is on me.
"Lay down," Max says softly showing me a completely new side of him. He starts with wiping my face down making sure to clean all of the spit and cum off of it before wiping my tummy clean of his cum before throwing the rag somewhere in the room and crawling into bed next to me.
"I might be a dick, but I would not let you stumble back to your hotel room covered in my cum like that," Max tells me softly pulling me into his chest so I can rest my head on him.
"Where do we go from here," I ask softly.
"I think we should start with being nicer to each other and maybe admitting there's always been more," Max replies making me nod my head.
"I know we did it backward but I don't want to rush anything," I tell him softly. He just nodded in agreement before pulling me in a little tighter.
" We don't rush anything but I want to be exclusive," Max says firmly.
"I can do that," I reply making him not his head.
"Fly home with me tomorrow," Max says randomly making me laugh a little.
"What happened to not rushing," I joke but nod my head in agreement knowing I definitely do want to fly with him. Even if it means exposing ourselves to a few of his grid friends.
It didn't take long for sleep to take over my body and right before I was fully asleep I felt Max place a soft kiss on the top of my head mumbling a soft I love you.
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lynzishell · 2 days
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The Past 🩵 Asher
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I rush into my apartment, slamming the door behind me, and take a sharp left to get into my room before Lex can catch me. Once inside, I lock the door and remove my smelly clothes from last night as quickly as I can. I’m tempted to shower again after having to walk home in them, but I don’t have time. As it is, Iris is going to be calling in an hour to ask why I haven’t arrived yet, and I really don’t have it in me today to deal with her moods, which are even worse now that she’s very pregnant. Spencer is due to arrive in a couple weeks, and my sister ran out of patience a couple weeks ago.
“Ash?” Lex pounds on the door as I’m pulling clothes from my dresser.
“Give me two minutes, I’m just changing.” I really don’t have time to chat with her, I have to leave, but I also kinda need my best friend.
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Once I’m fully clothed, I walk into the living room to find Lex standing there, waiting for me. She takes one look at my face and holds out her arms with a concerned pout, “Baaabe.” Years ago, I told her that I hate it when guys call me “babe”, that it was a total turn off. Her solution was to call me “babe” herself, that way no one else would be allowed to call me that ‘cause it’s hers; and it wouldn’t feel so icky because she’d be saying it ironically. But then it stuck and now it really is hers and there’s nothing ironic about it.
I fall into her arms and let her embrace me as only she can. Lex gives the best hugs. Sometimes she squeezes the life out of you, but on days like today, it feels like she’s holding all the broken bits of me together. If she hugs me long enough then it will heal me, but if she lets go too soon, I’ll fall to pieces, so I squeeze her back just as tight and bury my face in her shoulder.
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“What happened?”
“I made a fool of myself, Lex.” As I say the words out loud, I feel a lump form in my throat and I’m grateful that my voice is muffled by the sleeve of her jacket so as not to give me away.
“What do you mean?”
“I just… I thought... I don’t know what I thought,” and then the dam breaks. My tears burst forth so quickly that I have no chance of stopping them, so I just let it happen. The sobs rack my body, making my chest hurt. I cling to her like she’s a lifebuoy in the middle of the ocean during a storm. And she stands there, solid and safe, holding me until the storm passes and I start breathing normally again. It’s over just as quickly as it started.
“I’m gonna kill him, y’know,” she says finally.
I sniffle and let out a pitiful laugh, “Please don’t.”
“Seriously? You come home in this state, and you expect me to let him live?”
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I walk into the kitchen to splash my face with cold water and clean myself up. “Just because I’m sad doesn’t mean he deserves your wrath. Besides, I think I’m just extra sensitive coming down from whatever the hell you gave us last night.”
“So, this is my fault?”
“No. I’m just saying my breakdown is at least partially chemical. And maybe that explains Atlas’ mood today actually. Oh, I might’ve completely misread everything. Fuck.” I groan as I clench my stomach and lean against the counter, suddenly feeling sick with regret and embarrassment.
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“Okay, hold on, what exactly happened?”
“I don’t have time to get into it. I have to run out to my parents’ house and help Iris with fucking baby furniture or something.”
“Well, let’s go then. I’ll come with you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I don’t have anything else to do today, and we’re not done talking. And I like your mom’s cooking.”
I throw my arm around her shoulders and kiss her cheek dramatically, “Thank you.” I’m grateful to have her to talk to during the two-hour drive. I would no doubt be stewing and obsessing the whole time if not. My family will be happy to see her as well. They’re always asking why she doesn’t come visit more. Of course, I know it’s because she feels like she has to go see her own family if she’s in town, and that’s the last thing she wants to do.
“Alright, calm down. Let’s go.”
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SDV + SVE bachelors reacting to the farmer trying to rekindle their relationship post divorce? :,)
Yeah... 🥲
Enjoy some angst, dear anon! Thanks for the ask! 💕
_________________________________________
...is Farmer making fun of Shane? He's only just recovered from his divorce from them, which nearly drove him back into a depressive state where he drowned everything in a bottle of beer (at least therapy helped him cope with the pain, plus Shane had the support of Marnie and Jas). And now, what... Now his ex is jumping around him, wanting to start everything again? Was it all a fucking game to them or some shit? Shane's not gonna get back into it. No. No buts. Leave him alone, Farmer, and don't bother him again.
"Oh, Sebastian! I've been looking for you! You didn't answer my messages..." Sebastian knows. "...stopped picking up my calls..." He knows. "...you've been avoiding me." He knows. "And then you-" He knows. He knows perfectly well he's doing everything he can to get Farmer to leave him alone, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to them. So the local emo tells them straight up: he doesn't want to talk. He feels awful, and Farmer is the cause of it. So please, please leave Sebby alone.
Elliott tried to remain as calm and polite as possible. After all, even when the divorce was made official, the writer tried not to bicker with his ex and remain civilised people. But even he has a limit to his patience. Farmer themselves filed for divorce without explaining why, and it broke Elliott's heart into a thousand shards. They can't just pick up this "shards" and "glue them" back together, it doesn't work that way. So Elliott says goodbye and won't listen to Farmer's attempts to rekindle the relationship.
Please, Farmer, leave Harvey alone. He has a lot of important work to do with patients right now, and he doesn't need more stress. No, he can't speak with them after his work either. Harvey will make more and more excuses every time to avoid facing Farmer. But one day, he's gonna have a fit and yell at them to get the hell out of his clinic. Harsh, but what could the doctor do if his ex didn't respect his boundaries.
What? Are they serious now? What did they mean, "they changed their minds" and "it was a mistake"? Uh-huh, and now tell Sam that it was just a prank. Yeah, harmless prank, that all their dates together and declaring their love and promising to live happily ever after was just a stupid joke. Except the young guitarist isn't really amused. Stuff happens, maybe Farmer and Sam really did rush into marriage, but... No, he can't. The wound of the divorce is still fresh. Maybe in the future they can be friends again, but... Nothing more.
Farmer wants to talk to Alex? After they handed him divorce papers and cowardly avoided him without explaining why or what happened? They can't just barge into an athlete's life again and ask for a renewed relationship. And honestly - Alex doesn't care anymore what the reason for the divorce was in the first case. He has no desire or time to communicate with them, so let Farmer do him a favour and leave his house. And don't bother him or his grandparents again.
Victor was already having a hard time coping with the divorce, and trying to remain in a normal-ish relationship with Farmer, because despite this outcome, he wanted to remain civilised, and maybe even friends. But Farmer is asking for too much, and since they can't accept that there won't be that spark between Victor and them anymore, he'll go NC. No, don't push pity on him. Farmer made a choice, and now they (and Victor) have to pay for it. Trying to start over... It's like they don't care how he feels.
"Look, I know you're angry, but... the divorce was a mistake!" No, Magnus' mistake, he thinks, was believing that he had finally found happiness. Wizard's heart was broken for the third time, and this third time was worse than the last. His ex and Caroline have at least left him alone mostly, but Farmer persistently climbs into his tower wanting to talk. And all he does is silence and solitude to drown the pain of his work. Magnus will ignore Farmer whenever possible (sending them back with a spell if they don't get out themselves).
Lance immediately told Farmer that it was a bad idea and went on about his business without making further conversation. The gallant adventurer was naturally upset that things didn't work out with them, can't deny that. But later, Lance thought that after the divorce, he could see now several red flags in their relationship. Farmer isn't a bad person, but Lance decided that they just weren't meant for each other. It's nothing personal, but he and Farmer are not on the same page.
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lionneee · 8 hours
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Perfect Match
Final Part
English is not my first language, please be kind
Masterlist
Taglist
•Warnings: oral sex, fake relationship, talking of sexual themes, piv, smut.•
Modern!Aemond x Fem!Reader
Part One -> Part Two -> Part Three -> Part Four -> Part Five
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You didn’t know.
You would have swore he was just another guy with a perfect life, just good to fuck with.
You thought he was simply trying to rebel, to not follow the mass.
That’s why you chose him.
You never thought he could have been in the same situation as yours.
You leaned your head back to look at his face as he kept sleeping.
You fell asleep in his arms, his cock must have slipped out of you during the night.
It didn’t take long before he started to wake up too.
He slowly opened his eye, looking back at you.
He didn’t talk.
You just kept looking at each other.
It was strange, knowing you both share the same situation.
A family that wanted to be perfect, but was rotten from the inside. You remembered a few words of what his parents were yelling when you came back to his house, the same exact words you heard your own parents yell thousands of times.
When you were younger, you put on your headphones and listened to music at full volume, to muffle the fighting, but as you grew up, you just got used to it.
Aemond took a deep breath and pulled you back in his arms, close, tucking your head under his chin.
You tighterned your arms around his neck, breathing in his scent.
“I don’t want to go out.” You whispered, glancing at the closed door of his room.
“Mh.” You felt his head move, turning to look at the door as well. “We don’t have to.” He said.
You both knew that once past that door, everything would have gone back to how it was.
Fake.
Fake happy families, fake friendship, fake interests.
You felt like you were past that now.
You didn’t want everything to go back as it was.
No, not after how good you felt last night. Not after you finally felt something again.
You unconsciously tightened your arms around Aemond, closing your eyes.
“We can stay here.” You whispered, caressing his back, slipping your hand under his shirt. “We can stay here forever, never go out again.” You felt too good, too comfortable.
“I know. We could.” He slipped his hand in your hair, caressing slowly your head. “We could.” He repeated, as if he was seriously considering the option to hide from the world forever.
In that quiet moment, the world outside seemed so distant, so irrelevant. The tension in both of your lives had built up for years, but here, in this room, it all seemed to melt away. . 
You had chosen him because you thought you knew his type, just another boy looking to push boundaries, to escape boredom. But waking up in his arms now, you realized how wrong you'd been. He was broken just as much as you were, a mirror of your own suffering. Aemond, with all his calculated silence and aloof demeanor, was just as wounded as you.
For the first time, you felt like you weren’t alone in your pain. It wasn't just about what happened between you two last night; it was about the shared understanding of the façade you both wore daily. The world expected you to be perfect—to fit into the molds your families had constructed—but neither of you ever truly did. You both knew that the arguments, the silences, the tensions at home had shaped who you were had led you here, to this bed, to this moment.
Aemond's hand in your hair, his steady breath against your skin, felt like an anchor, holding you both in this fragile peace you’d created together. His fingers combed gently through your strands, and you could tell he was thinking, pondering what you’d said about staying there forever.
“I don’t want to go back,” you whispered again, more to yourself this time. There was a sense of desperation in your voice. You knew the world outside would expect you both to slip back into your roles—the obedient daughter, the dutiful son. But here, with him, you were free. 
“Do you want to stay here?” Aemond asked, but now his voice was softer, almost uncertain. You both knew the fantasy couldn’t last, but for now, it was a comfort. The illusion of safety, the idea that maybe, just maybe, you could escape the weight of your realities.
Your hand on his back felt his muscles tense slightly, as if he, too, was wrestling with the impossibility of it all. He sighed deeply, his chin resting on the top of your head as he held you close. In that shared silence, there was an understanding, a quiet pact. 
But for a little longer, you could pretend. You could hold onto this fleeting moment of peace, knowing that, even if the world outside was fake, what was happening between you now wasn’t. 
You always saw Aemond as a tool to let go. To feel yourself for a moment when you had sex, to stop pretending, but you were still alone.
Alone in your head, in your life, in your experiences.
Now there was someone else.
You leaned your head back again, looking up at him, and he moved as well to stare right back at you.
“I do.” You whispered. You didn’t know what those words did to Aemond, but his lips came down crushing on yours right after them, holding you by the back of your head as he tried to devour your mouth.
“Then I’ll keep you here.” He mumbled against your lips, moving to get on top of you, pressing you down on the bed with his body. “We’ll never go out again. We’ll stay here, and we’ll fuck all day.” He groaned as he wrapped his arms around your body, hugging you close. “I’ll keep you to myself –” He said as he looked down at you, moving his hand on your breast, taking it in his hand and squeezing it, kissing his way down to your other nipple, He was fanning, his breath hit your nipple where he sucked it, making it harden with the fresh feeling. You arched your back, you could feel his cockhardening against your thigh. You put your hand on the back of his head, keeping him close, spurring him to keep sucking your tits.
“Make love to me - “ You whimpered as he squeezed your breast a bit tighter. He raised from your chest, looking down at you as he sat back on his haunches. His eye moved all over your body, then back to your face. You could feel your face hot, probably even red, not from embarrassment because of your nudity, more like because of what you said, because it sounded so… cheesy.
You looked back at him, watching him, searching for any reaction, but his face was stoic. 
Until he moved his hand between his legs, pumping his cock a few times to make sure he was hard enough, then he leaned forward, pushing it slowly inside you, making you moan and lean your head back against his pillow. He didn’t rush it like all the others time, just seeking his pleasure and being done with it.
He kept eye contact as he placed his hand beside your head on the mattress, and he moved slowly, but firmly and deeply.
He knew what he was doing.
“Yeah –” He gasped as he glanced down at your bodies, how they were perfectly fitting before coming back to your face. “I’ll make love to you.“ He whispered as he moved down on his elbows to be closer to your face. 
There it was again. 
That warm feeling in your chest.
You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him deeply, taking your time in his mouth, savoring the moment.
You wanted to hold on to that feeling, and never let it go.
You whined in his mouth as he slowly started to thrust harder, keeping his pace, wrapping one of his arms around your shoulders, under your neck.
He slowly kissed your cheek, then he trailed down to your neck, licking, nibbling at your skin as he groaned.
“W-why does it feel so good – “ He groaned with his voice strained as he nuzzled his face in your neck. You took a deep breath as you felt the sound of his voice doing things to you, making your stomach clench, making your heartbeat faster.
“I don’t know -” You whispered back as you caressed the back of your hair, his thrusts getting needier as he quickened the pace a bit. “But I don’t want it to go away.” You admitted, your words sending a shiver down his body, making him moan and raise his head to look at you.
“Me neither.” He mumbled as he thrusted faster, harder, his face contorting in pure pleasure.
“Oh, yes – Aem - “ You moaned as you felt your orgasm reaching you, your walls squeezing his cock inside you.
“I promise -” He panted. “We’re never fucking leaving this room.” He groaned as he slipped his hand between their bodies, searching for her clit and starting to rub it furiously.
“Please come -” He gasped. “I-I can’t –” He moaned as he spilled before even finishing his sentence, and seeing him so wrecked pushed you along with him.
You both panted as he fell on top of you, both your arms moving around the other, as if to make sure they were still there.
You knew that his promise was impossible to keep.
You had to get out at some point.
But you knew he was promising something else completely.
We’re in this together.
But for now, you guessed he indeed planned on not leaving his room any sooner.
Taglist: @ka1afbr @cynic-spirit @ladythornofrivia @zenka69 @queenofthekeep @adorewhatever @diannnnsss @kotadislikesthissite @iloveallmyboys @valyrianflower @dixie-elocin @gelacat0413 @quinquinquincy @mamawiggers1980 @darylandbethfanforever9 @rhaethoughts @believeinthefireflies95 @urfavnoirette @summerposie @sk1mah1 @queenofshinigamis @anukulee @chlmtfilms @m-riaa @p45510n4f4shi0n @malfoycassimalfoy
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
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caeslxys · 2 months
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Something I think is extremely interesting thematically when it comes to connecting what Downfall and the ideas it tackled to the overarching narrative of campaign three is that the things Downfall made a point to showcase of Aeor—Cassida, Hallis, the visual of an aeormaton proposing to her partner, the specific and intentional decision to shed light on a far from insignificant amount of the population being civilians or refugees—is that it plays in perfect parallel across from what is happening (and, really, has been happening) to the ruidusborn on Exandria in present.
Bear with me for a moment. Aeor is ultimately a city that was collectively punished for the decisions of its leadership. We could (and, judging by the amount of discourse around this particular topic already, probably will) argue about what the Gods’ motivation for all of this was—whether it be that they could not, in the end, bear to kill their siblings or that they were terrified at the prospect of mortality—for me it is a very healthy dose of both—but for this I am much more interested in the latter. They were scared. That, really, is the driving force behind both this arc and their role in c3 as a whole.
Why I point this out is: It is far more interesting to me, especially as we go back to Bells Hells this week, to dissect the Gods and their decisions not purely on sympathetic motivation alone but as beings in the highest seat of power in the highest social class in Exandria.
So, having established that the Gods (in relation to mortals) are more a higher social class than anything we could compare to our real life understanding of divinity and that Aeor was eviscerated largely because of their fear—what is the difference between those innocents in Aeor caught in the trappings of their autocratic government leadership and a divine war on the ground, and those of the ruidusborn being manipulated both by Ludinus and by the very thing that inspired such visceral fear in the Gods to start with. I would argue very little.
I think of Cassida, doing what she genuinely thought was right and good and would save people, her son, and the object of her worship—and how that did not matter enough to any of them to spare her because of the fear they held at the very concept of mortality. I think of Liliana and Imogen, one of which we know begged for the gods to help her or send her a sign for years on years, and how every single one of their largest struggles could have been avoided had the gods loved them, their supposed children, as much as they feared what they could be. I think of how the thing that did save Imogen, in the end, was a woman who herself existed in direct defiance of the gods will. I think of that young boy, sixteen years old, that Laudna exalted on Ruidus.
I think it’s completely fair to judge Aeor’s overall society as deeply corrupt—it was!—but its leadership and police force are not a reflection of every one of its citizens. Similarly, it is fair to judge the Ruby Vanguard as corrupt—it is!—but its multiple heads of leadership and even the god-eater further are not a reflection of every one of its members.
Notably, and what I think the Hells will latch onto, this did not matter to the Gods. It did not matter that Cassida was trying to help. She was still too much of a risk. Will it matter, what Imogen does? Will it matter, if that young boy is in the blast radius when they decide to take no further chances?
I’ve seen a lot of people say that the Hells will side with the gods and I don’t think I agree. Especially as Imogen has been scolded and villainized over and over for daring to try and save her mother—who herself has been seen by some as an irredeemable evil in spite of her drive being the exact same—her family—but when it’s the Gods it’s justified? When it’s the Gods, it’s sympathetic? Too sympathetic to criticize further than “they’re family”?
I obviously do not think the Gods should die or be eaten or what have you, and I certainly don’t agree with Ludinus (though I find him much more compelling than just a variation of hubris wizard), but when talking about the Gods in Aeor and in present it isn’t really at all about their motivation or their family. It can’t be. Too many people, including our active protagonists, lives have been effected for it to be as cut and dry as “they’re family”. These are your children. They are your family, too.
#critical role#cr meta#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#imogen temult#liliana temult#ludinus da'leth#does this make sense. I feel like i lost my initial thread somewhere around the middle bc my brain is currently spread very thin#but tldr: it is extremely interesting to me that the fall of aeor is such a perfect parallel to the ruidusborn#i could also go on endlessly ENDLESSLY about how cassida and liliana play the exact same role#and also i could go on even longer on what divinity as a concept even means in a world like exandria#and how trying to compare it to our real life understanding of divinity is a bit fruitless#on the basis that a person can become a god alone but also that they themselves undeniably exist#but its so good. it ties in so well. brennan did a fucking fantastic job at capturing the abject horror of it all#also aabria iyengar if you can hear me PLEASE bring deanna back i will send you fifty dollars#and also hello i very briefly said hello at the live show and wanted to tell you how incredible i think you are but alas#where did these tags go#anyway#WOAH this is long. I should’ve been writing fic. alas.#really I don't think any of the hells are gonna be able to just. gloss over the casualties of it all. but especially mog and ashton and lau#tal has even already said that downfall made some things better for ash and some things Worse so I know I'm not too far off#I have. many many thought on how laudna will see it all too.#truly think she is going to be the most vocally horrified
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anonymocha · 29 days
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finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i dont need to pretend to simp that Guy just because everyone else in my friend group does
#finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i can be insane abt women the same way my friends are insane abt men#life changing#mochats#im sorry to my friends who think me simping that guy was genuine#i was just trying to fit in#its a good time to admit that 90% of the time i also dont care abt male characters same way how-#-some straight women dont care abt female characters#i refuse to waste my power on a guy everyone else cares about#im tired enough and i have assignments to do#if i become an outcast for only sparing my energy on women then so be it.#i care about my friends and love them gushing abt a Guy but i personally cannot be made to care in a way they do#not just because i think (often neglected) female characters deserve more of my attention but also because-#-my attraction does influence my interest LETS BE FR HERE#growing up is realizing that putting attention on things you dont care about#is exhausting#as fuck#and i kind of hated how i feel like i wasted my youth energy drawing characters idc abt to please others#now im just tired all the time#while wishing i can draw more women more often#so like#dont do that#draw and write what YOU want#btw its not that i dont care abt men i just have such low energy lately that if i care for anything else but women — it may be unfulfilling#live laugh fatigue#every time i see a guy fanart i scroll past life has never felt so good#(unless its by a friend which i will appreciate dearly i love my friends art and how passionate they r)
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feroluce · 3 months
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So I went to the wiki page for the henghill Bullet & Brain mission of 2.2 looking for some dialogue I had missed and
a) I found something incredibly tasty that slotted into some other thoughts I'd been having, more on that on another day, and
b) I saw this super fun little trivia at the bottom, which!
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I knew Penacony characters like Boothill took a lot of inspirations from old movies, but I didn't realize it was even in his and Dan Heng's relationship, that's so cool!!
It fits them very well, it's such a fun reference. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" was an old buddy Western film (from 1969- nice) about a pair of outlaws. Butch Cassidy was the leader of a gang, and described as clever, affable, and talkative. Meanwhile, his closest companion, the Sundance Kid, was known as a man of few words.
Cassidy's original birth name was much more plain, but similar to Boothill, he took on a new moniker when he became an outlaw. "Cassidy" had been the last name of his beloved mentor, who taught him how to shoot and ride. And Sundance Kid was known as he was because Sundance was the name of his hometown, and it was the only place that had ever managed to catch and jail him, back when he'd been younger (also similar to Dan Heng, but ouch).
These two stick together like glue throughout the length of the film- through Cassidy's leadership of the gang being challenged, through a train robbery gone wrong, through being pursued by mercenaries, and even through fleeing to Bolivia and trying to start over together.
I don't want to say too much more, since the mission title is referencing one specific movie that I've never seen. I kinda wanna watch it now, though, just to see the inspiration that went into Boothill and Dan Heng and how they get along. I just think it's really sweet that these two were literally made to be the best of bros, how lovely is that. 💕
#honkai star rail#this can be ship or plantonic tbh yall are always free to tag my ramblings as you please haha#just! they're so sweet!!#FWENDS#i would love to see more of them being a dynamic duo further down the line ♡#i think the film moved things along a little quicker but the real life Cassidy and Sundance were actually in south america for a few years#they fled there to get away from pursuers along with Sundance's girlfriend Etta Place.#supposedly they managed to buy a small ranch and the three of them lived peacefully (and even lawfully!) together for like three years-#-until the law caught up with them again#at some point Etta Place returned to the US reportedly due to illness rather than not wanting to get caught like in the film#Sundance may or may not have escorted her back. but whether he did or not he returned to South America with Cassidy#the two of them eventually got into a huge firefight with authorities where Sundance was fatally shot and Cassidy chose to end his own life#that's the most common story anyway. some also say Cassidy snuck back into the US again where he lived quietly until his death.#but it reads kind of like rumors of Elvis Presley sightings to me BSMZKNSKS#the film ended much more happily with the two of them getting into shenanigans and a freeze frame of them in a hail of bullets haha#i wanna see Dan Heng and Boothill fight together too it would be so cool aaaaaa#they would be great at getting into shenanigans! as we've already seen!!#fun bonus info: Boothill's ult literally puts black bars at the top and bottom of the screen to look like a widescreen Western movie#fun bonus info 2: Cassidy was regarded with respect by some people bc he never stole from the poor he only robbed big companies#this is actually nicer than Boothill is in canon bc he openly admits he will rob someone blind if he doesn't like them BSKZKKZMSKDK#(although I feel like its implied he has more standards for this than he gives himself credit for.#like he makes it pretty clear he doesn't particularly like Argenti at first and thinks he's annoying as shit but I'm sure he didn't rob him#...would have been real fucking funny if he did though oh my god I would love to see him try that. it absolutely would not work BSKZKNSKSJS#hsr#henghill#bootheng#dan heng#boothill#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng
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hanzajesthanza · 1 month
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dandelion is indeed the worst but if he’s not present in the next book i would legitimately be sorrowful as the whole thing will become a slog . you basically cannot have the “short stories” era-of-the-timeline iteration of geralt without dandelion, it would be like eating unbuttered bread.
though it’s not like season of storms did them dirty, i wasn’t disappointed with it (… with regards to them), but since it’s literally been over 20 years since the saga was finished i’m trying to prepare for any potential reality
#however i will accept an absence of dandelion IN THE CASE OF we get to see geralt and yennefer living together in vengerberg#but if it’s regular geralt day in the life then if dandelion’s not there it’s gonna suuuuuccckk#i mean as in geralt’s life sucks without him. badly#and it also? sucks with him. good-ly.#it’s august and we don’t have a title yetttt 🥲 and they said 2024 … hmhm sure#i just feel like rupaul ‘and don’t fuck it up’.gif#like i’m excited but also wtf? new witcher book? are we on punk’d?#it’s not going to be the best but i’m hoping it will be at least as good as season of storms. not a high bar ok!#this from the person who was optimistic about the n*tflix show. don’t trust me i like to believe in the future#i was going to say ‘and i trust sapkowski more than i trust n*tflix’ and then i laughed.#i don’t trust him—i don’t even trust the version of him from the 90s and 00s!#one side of me can’t believe i’m still here after the guardswomen of kerack. and the ‘well i’m only gay for clout’ villain motivations#the other side of me is intensely curious wtf geralt will get up to this time and how witcher could maybe even denigrate further#but season of storms ending was actually good and = well it’s not like sapkowski forgot what it was about#then again it’s been 10 years and a bad adaptation since then so im biting my nails#all i ask : please stick with the naming convention of the other books. i don’t want to write an absurdly long or short name or acronym out#sooooo weird that in a few months i will be saying: there are 9 witcher books.#actually rn i just say there’s 7 and discount season of storms as a legitimate heir but mention it as footnote lol#i just hope i can survive until this new book and until its translation LOLLLL#they said translation in 2025 but you know the track record#new book: *releases winter 2024* | english translation: coming 2045!#jk i think they finally figured out that witcher is a money printer so they will be eager to translate it now and not waffle around#they kicked their butts into gear with the hussite trilogy so ! and they made new hardcovers.#the elbow-high diaries#new book 2024
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beeduoo · 5 months
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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins
#origins smp#i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals WHAT EVEN HAPPENED i was only there for the first one😅#beeduo#otubbo#oranboo#beeduo fanart#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY#DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM#IR WAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE and they were being really Funny thay shit h#ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its#been wayyyyyyy too long#BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise#bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop#yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really#wanted to share ok i love you bge#WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED#RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like#water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT#ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I#VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB#OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be#Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON#SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub#lic had to say.... ok Now bye
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moghedien · 8 months
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i swear if you people start uwuifying OCD like you did with ADHD and autism I'm going to start attacking
#the general idea of what OCD is already so fucking wrong and harmful#if you start being like 'oh my little meow meow is so OCD' or 'its not a disorder its just a different way of thinking uwu'#I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL#ALL OF MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES FROM AGE 3 AND UP ARE OF HAVING PANIC ATTACKS#PLEASE GO FUCK YOURSELVES THIS IS A MISERABLE FUCKING DISORDER ITS NOT CUTE ITS NOT QUIRKY ITS THE REASON I HAD GRAY HAIR AS A TEENAGER#i saw this like 'i let the intrusive thoughts win' isn't something people use all the time for like dying their fucking hair#its exhausting how many people what to be all 'mental illness needs to be more accepted'#and then in the next sentence want to deny that your mental illness is actually harmful to you and doesn't negatively affect you#and its just because society doesn't accept your different way of thinking uwu#NO I LITERALLY WOULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF AS A TEENAGER IF SOMEONE HAD CONVINCED ME THAT MY MENTAL ILLNESS WAS NORMAL AND FINE#figuring out that something was Wrong with my brain was like the best moment of my life#and this 'no you just think differently don't try to change' attitude may be helpful in SOME CASES#but that shit needs to me pulled back on A LOT online because that framing can be extremely harmful to some people (like me)#knowing exactly what is wrong with my brain is literally the only way I'm able to not let it affect me#and it not affecting me is literally the only way I can function and live happily#like you understand that some people do genuinely have things wrong with them#and telling them they don't is beyond cruel
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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purpurussy · 1 month
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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hungerpunch · 9 months
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i've thought a lot about it and i have concluded that parents just shouldn't Be Like That about their kids doing sports, you know?
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