#i just want to drink tea until my whole body turns into tea idk

[crymeariveronceagain]

trade offer: if you hydrate ill hydrate

ah. neither of us are hydrating. huh. uhm.

i want to help but you should pick someone else.

im rarely hydrated properly at this point

[somber-sapphic]

HIII IT'S ME OMG IM SO EXCITED COULD YOU POST THE NEW FIC ALL IN ONE PART??? CUZ I CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT EEEHHEHEH I LOVE LONG FICS ALSO IM KINDA NEW TO TUMBLR SO IDK HOW TO USE A LOT OF FEATURES AND THE ONLY WAY IVE FOUND TO MESSAGE PPL IS THE REQUEST PART LOL - 🦊

I'VE GOT YOU 🦊!! Sorry it took so long to upload, I thought of something else so I added and then had to edit that part :) I hope you enjoy!

Everything's Just Fine

You get sick and Emily is away with the team on a case. You were frustrated that you weren't able to help, so instead of resting you decided to do all of the paperwork that you could find. A great decision, right?

Word Count: 3k

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You sniffled and rubbed your bleary eyes, trying to focus on the pile of paperwork you were trying desperately to get through. Hotch had deemed you ‘too sick’ to go with them on the case, but he wasn’t there, leaving you to your own devices. You’d helped solve it by working through Garcia, who you had threatened into silence (in reality, you’d begged her to let you help and flashed the best puppy dog eyes you had) and your team would be home in three hours. 

Penelope had agreed to stay silent, but only if you drank the gallons of tea she shoved down your throat. You were sure that she’d laced it with some sort of medication, so you just pretended to drink. It wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate her attempts to coddle you, it was just that you didn’t want her to see you so vulnerable. You didn’t want anyone to see you like this, it was embarrassing. 

Your nose was running practically nonstop, your chest ached, you couldn’t stop shivering and every five seconds was filled with painful coughs or gross, wet sneezes. Every cough and sneeze tore through your already sore throat, making it feel like you had swallowed glass. The pressure in your sinuses made it feel like your head was about to burst. There was a good chance that the next fit of coughing would send your brain exploding out of your buzzing ears. 

“Sweetie, that really doesn't sound good.” Penelope said, startling you after a particularly rough coughing fit that brought up a wad of mucus and left you seeing stars. You swallowed hard, a little disgusted with yourself, and forced a little smile onto your dry, cracked lips. Judging by her raised eyebrow, she didn’t believe whatever you were about to say next. 

“I’m fine Garcia, just a little cold. Plus, they’ll be back soon.” You rasped, not realizing just how far gone your voice was until you had started to speak. It was a minor miracle that you had even gotten those two sentences out. You sniffed hard and coughed, turning your head into your elbow to avoid spreading your germs all over the innocent tech analyst. 

“Uh-uh, no way. Come on, come lay in my office for a little while. I’ve got everything nice and cozy for when Reid has a migraine, it’ll be much nicer than sitting out here in the cold.” The blonde coaxed, her voice like butter. She was lulling you into a false sense of security, smiling kindly and offering you a space in her Batcave. 

All you wanted to do was curl up and let out all of your stupid pent up emotions, you wanted to cry into the plethora of pillows that you knew she had and just fall asleep to escape all of the pain raging through your body. Every movement sent needles of agony through your bones, even your eyes hurt. You had forgotten that fevers could do that to a person. 

“I’m almost done here, I’ll put my head down when I finish.” You ducked into your elbow with a barely stifled sneeze and lifted your head with flushed cheeks. This whole thing was humiliating, no one was supposed to see you sick. You weren’t supposed to be sick. You were a fucking FBI agent, FBI agent’s didn’t succumb to simple colds.

Penelope frowned and reached out to touch your cheek, rolling her eyes slightly when you slapped her hand away. 

“I’m telling Emily. How do you think she’ll feel about all of this?” She gestured to your sickly appearance as if she hadn’t just threatened you as one would a toddler. You clenched your jaw, but parted your lips when you realized that your nose was too stuffed to breathe, and decided to just glare at her instead. 

“Penelope Garcia. I am not a toddler, you are not my mother, you are not my girlfriend and my physical wellbeing is none of your fucking business. Leave. Me. Alone.” The hurt expression that flashed across her face made you feel guilty, but you just wanted her to go away. Everything about this was wrong, her being able to see you at your weakest point was ever worse. 

“Alright, I’m going back to my office. Come find me if you need anything.” She murmured, bowing her head in understanding. You looked away, resurfacing to meet her gaze, you knew that if she said one more nice thing you’d probably break down. It would be so easy to just start crying. Or it would be if you had enough fluids left in your body to cry out.  

Sniffling back tears you went back to your work, the words blurring through your tears and the general haze that came from what had to be a fever over 102 degrees. You could practically see the look on Emily’s face when she’d come back, the disappointment and concern written in the worry lines across her forehead. She worried too much, especially about you. 

You scribbled your name at the bottom of the page inquiring about who was interrogated, accidentally scrawling your signature into the place where Hotch was supposed to sign. That was it. You were done. That was the straw that broke the exhausted, sick, miserable camel's back. You were absolutely done.

==

You stumbled up the stairs and into the first office you could find, intending to fall onto the couch where you would sleep until your girlfriend got home. She would be so disappointed in you. You made it halfway into what you assumed in your hazy mind was JJ’s office before falling to the floor, too dizzy to stay upright anymore. 

Part of you thought to call out for Garcia as you lay on the uncomfortable tile, your cheek pressed on the rug. The world went black with one final gasping cough as you slipped into unconsciousness. That was nicer than being awake with the pain. 

Unfortunately, unconsciousness was not exactly better. It was uncomfortable, too hot, sometimes too cold, like someone had dunked you in an ice bath which was then set on fire. Your disturbing, terrifying fever dreams were interrupted by a distant sound and the feather light touch of a hand on your shoulder. Both felt a mile away, but they saved you from the nightmares of being drowned in an icy ocean with no one to hear your screams. 

“Y/n! Fuck, EMLIY! Get in here!” You clung to the voice, whimpering as you struggled to pull yourself out of the void. She must’ve noticed your struggle because the owner of the voice combed fingers through your hair, coaxing you into the real world. 

“Hey, hey you. Can you open your eyes?” Sudden panic flooded over you and you shoved yourself away, ignoring the stars brewing in your eyes. For a moment you were pretty sure that you’d throw up, but you managed to curl yourself into the corner, cowering away from the touch. 

Your breaths were harsh and painful, they probably sounded that way to the blonde as well. The world was blurring around you and standing wasn’t probably the best idea, but you were already halfway to your feet. 

“Woah, Y/n,” JJ rushed toward you, raising her arms as you swayed, prepared to catch you. You pulled away again, trying to force out some semblance of words. 

“Go!” You yelped, tears filling your eyes. Everything was spinning, the woman’s face warping and bending in your vision. Something slammed and you looked up to find another blurry faced woman rushing into the room, wearing the same expression. 

“Y/L/N!” The second woman, Emily, barked, making you freeze. In different circumstances that tone would’ve sparked a flutter in your chest, but this was just scary. She raced to your side and grabbed your elbows, managing to keep you upright. You sniffled and met her chocolate brown eyes, searching for anything that could be construed as anger or unhappiness. All you saw was loving concern. 

“Shit, you’re burning up. Honey, why?” The brunette breathed, cupping your cheeks with strong, soft hands. You whimpered in response, doing everything you could not to just fall into her arms. 

“C-can you make t-the room stop s-spinning?” You managed, stumbling forward until your head bounced against her shoulder. Emily wrapped an arm around your waist and helped you over to the couch, murmuring gentle words that you couldn’t quite make out. Everything was fuzzy, you weren’t sure how much longer you could stay conscious. 

You didn’t realize you were crying until you were sitting up against her and she was brushing the tears off of your cheeks. You didn’t fully understand what was happening, but you knew that she was holding you, providing you with the love that you had so desperately needed. 

“Morgan, we’re going to need some help getting her to the car.” Emily murmured, stroking your hair as you leaned against her chest. Part of you was a bit concerned, the deal was no displays of romantic affection at work and here she was, holding you close, cuddling you like she would at home. This was bad. You were going to get fired. 

You pushed her away, little whimpers building in your throat. You slid back onto the floor, confusion and anxiety flowing through your mind. She was by your side in an instant, grabbing your hands as she tried to fix whatever was happening in your mind. 

“No, no no. No, They’ll be mad. They’ll be so mad.” You shook your head and pulled back, a harsh cough wracking your body. Your lungs were beginning to sound like crinkling wax paper, worrying everyone. 

“Come on honey, please get off the floor. No ones mad, we just want to help.” She soothed, inching back so as not to startle you further. Not even you understood the back and forth of your mind, it was scary just how many things were happening and all you wanted was to be somewhere dark and quiet. 

“Everything hurts…make it stop, please make it stop.” You begged, covering your ears, hiding from everything. It was odd, you were just so damn overwhelmed. 

“Okay sweetie, alright. Breathe for me. It’s all going to be okay. Does it hurt when I do this?” She asked gently, probing at your arm. You had apparently bruised it when you’d fallen and it had quickly turned a dark purplish black color. You nodded slightly, removing yourself from your shell so that you could talk to her. 

“We’re going to get you home and all cozy, but you’ve got to trust me. Will you let me?” Morgan and Hotch were in the room now, with Rossi hovering in the doorway. Penelope was attached to Morgan's arm, a panicked expression on her face. This was all because of you. It was both humiliating beyond belief and…almost wholesome? 

“M’kay.” You finally whispered, your voice basically gone at this point. She gave you a small, caring smile and pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“Can Morgan carry you?” You were too tired to even consider fighting it. You wanted to be home and if that's what it took, that's what it took. Emily moved to the side and the man stepped forward, nearly blocking your view of her. 

“Don’t leave me!” You yelped, grabbing for her hand. You refused to be away from her, no fucking way would she leave you alone again, it wasn’t happening. She clasped your fingers in hers and shushed you softly. 

“I’m right here, he’s just going to pick you up and everything will be okay.” She was being so understanding, so wonderful. You loved her so damn much. You nodded again and allowed Morgan to hoist you into a bridal carry, your head falling on his chest; you were just too physically weak to hold it up anymore. 

“Shit, Princess, your fever’s really high. Emily, you’ve gotta get that down.” He said, concern radiating in his words. She nodded quickly, still holding onto your hand. You glanced at Hotch as Morgan carried you out, disappointment shining in his eyes. Garcia looked mildly betrayed and you hated that you’d made her feel that way. You opened your mouth to say something, but she shut you up with a shake of her head. 

“Just get better, lovely. I’ll be by with some soup and Disney movies tomorrow.” You smiled at her, your eyes slipping closed as exhaustion took over. You heard a murmur of ‘goodbyes’ and ‘feel better soons’ as you were whisked away by your friend and girlfriend, falling asleep with your head bouncing against Morgan’s chest. 

==

When you woke up you were laying in your own bed, Emily grumbling softly as she tried to peel the sweat covered clothes off of your body. You whined softly at the touch, curling away from her icy hands. You sniffled thickly and pulled your knees to your chest, well aware that you were no longer wearing a shirt. 

“Look who's up.” The brunette cooed, reaching up to stroke your fevered cheek. You squirmed again, utterly unhappy with how much being touched hurt you. All you wanted was cuddles from the woman you loved but her gentle touch caused you so much pain. 

“My skin hurts.” You rasped, giving her a watery pout. Tears were rolling down your cheeks again, for what felt like the 10th time that day you were crying. You hated it, you hated your damn body and you wanted a hug. 

“Okay love, we can get that taken care of. If you sit up for me I can get some medicine in you and get something much more comfortable on.” She smiled, tucking a strand of hair back behind your ear. You shrugged, fully intending not to do anything. She rolled her eyes at your uncooperative behavior and lifted you into a sitting position, making you yelp in pain. She reared back at your pained sound, concern flooding her expression. 

“I can’t it, it hurts too much!” You sobbed, wrapping your arms around your knees and pulling them to your chest. You held that position for probably fifteen minutes until you finally managed to cry yourself out and looked back up at Emily who had a broken expression on her face. 

“How do I help?” She whispered, sounding as desperate as you felt. Your beautiful strong girlfriend was breaking just because you felt sick. You took a shaky, chest squeezing breath and forced yourself to calm down. 

“Um…will y-you help me change…and then maybe hold me?” The profiler gave you a kind smile and nodded, reaching out to stroke your cheek again. This time it didn’t hurt so much, the contact actually felt quite nice. 

It took a bit longer than either of you expected to get you changed, you were practically incapable of moving any of your limbs, meaning that she had to do all of the work. She did it without complaint, checking in every few moments to make sure that she wasn’t hurting you. 

“Okay baby, take this really fast and we’ll get you some sleep.” You didn’t fight when she handed you the cap of blue medicine, well aware that the Nyquil and fever would take you out in minutes. The goop tasted absolutely awful, so bad that even with your poor sense of taste and smell it burned the back of your throat. 

You coughed heavily into your blanket, a sound which made Emily’s face contort in worry. She patted your back as you hacked, helping you to release some of the mucus from your lungs. 

“We’re going to the doctor tomorrow if that doesn’t sound better.” She determined after a few minutes of listening to your exhaustive breathing. You nodded in agreement, well aware that the cough was worse than it should be for a simple cold or mild flu. 

“Stay with me until I fall asleep?” You asked, your body sagging as the medication sunk in. Emily slipped into the bed beside you, sitting a few feet away so as not to invade your personal space in a way that you weren't comfortable with. You hesitated a moment and looked over, feeling suddenly shy. 

“Um…will you hold me? Maybe? P-please…” She smiled kindly and pulled you into her arms, cradling your head against her chest as the two of you snuggled under the covers. You stifled a sneeze, but she just made a worried sound and kissed the top of your head 

“Don’t worry about that. Just sleep, okay? I’m right here, you’re safe. I’ve got you.” You sniffled quietly and grabbed the fabric of her shirt, grateful for her saying that. Fevers always made you edgy, but she had this way of fixing it every single time. She was your rock. She never failed to make you feel better, even at your worst times. 

“Love you Em.” You mumbled, your words slurred by sleep. 

“I love you too Y/n/n. Now hush, sleeping time.” Never one to disobey an order from your girlfriend, you closed your eyes, falling into a warm void of unconsciousness in the arms of the woman you were in love with.

[mamuttuth]

So, um, I can’t sleep last night because my mind was occupied with particular thoughts. And, well, I write it.

Hope someone like it or not, it doesn’t really matter now, cause I light my brain pulling it out. So, it a short bkdk story, before their graduation. Idk how to call it. Maybe

Late kitchen talk

Okay, so here it is. If you will have some thoughts, welcome 💬

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

It was a peaceful night, the graduation ceremony less than a week now and all students of hero class 3A ready to go into the big world of pro heroes. Their last exams ended yesterday and they all pass it with ease. After so many bumps and tears on their way to become a heroes it was a beautiful calm time where all their troubles now seems like nightmares that are in distant past.

Izuku Midoriya standing alone in a dark dorm kitchen with a mug of warm herbal tea trying to drift himself to sleep. The aromatic drink slowly did its job, relaxing tense body after intensive training. His green emerald eyes look through the kitchen window to the backyard of their dorm without focusing on anything in particular.

A slight rustling caught his attention, he turned his head towards the sound and find the one and only Katsuki Bakugo entering the kitchen with sleepy eyes.

“Hey, Kacchan” he greeted didn’t want to startled him.

“Can’t sleep?” ask the ash blonde moving towards kitchen counter grabbing a mug to pour the water for himself.

“Actually, I just finished my training not so long ago, so, um, getting ready for sleep now” the greenett answer slowly sipping his tea.

“If you want there are some herbal tea in teapot, still warm, probably” he offered the drink to Katsuki.

“I’m good” he politely declined taking a big gulp of water.

“Still training so late, you should know it’s not good for you, nerd. Good rest is also important.” slight concern could be heard in his voice.

Even after those three years in hero course Izuku trained himself twice hard then most of his classmates. Nothing can stop him to become a greatest hero.

“Can’t help it, you know it, Kacchan, like nobody else” the sheepish smile find a way on greenett features. The ash blond with crimson eyes only humms for reply.

They stood in dark kitchen some more in silent until it was broken by the last one.

“What are we?” his voice was quiet like a whisper. It was a random question and Izuku trying to process it turns his head towards Katsuki.

“What do you want us to be?” he questioned him instead of answering.

The ash blonde close his crimson eyes and deep inhale in thoughts. They have a live-long complicated relationship. Bump and rough path. Childhood friends, bully and victim, rivals, and now they are some sort of friends? They both have a strange feeling about each other in their heart, they both sense a deep connection to each other, but they can’t wrap their minds about it. Do they want more than just friendship? Do they want to be a partners? Hero duet? Oh, if that tho they would be unstoppable team. Or maybe just maybe they are both want something more from each other.

“I really don’t freaking know for myself, but I know as heck that I want you in my life. We know each other almost our whole life, I can’t imagine future without you by my side. I know it sounds freaking crazy and selfish from me, but I mean it, Izuku” the crimson eyes now wide open and look in green emerald pulls with determination in voice. The freckles cheeks tint with light blush the darkness of night hide it from soft crimson gaze. He always look up to Kacchan, always admire him, he was and he is his imagine of victory. Do he want more from him?

The green eyes look down to his mug with already cold tea on the bottom of it and scared fingers fiddle with ceramic handle.

Izuku’s voice was timid as he was scared of what he was about to say.

“I have the same thoughts about you, you know. I don’t want us to be separated”.

Silence took over the dark kitchen again, all you could hear was the calm breathing of two people and distant sounds of night from outside. After another long moment Katsuki put his mug down on kitchen counter and reached out to take Izuku’s mug. The green eyes glanced up to reached hand and extended his hand to give him his mug. Their fingers brushed lightly and this are a weird feeling in their stomach.

“Can I hold your hand?” the ash blonde simply ask after putting down their mugs in sink to wash it later. Emerald wide pulls look up quickly in deep rubys on soft face. Freckles cheeks now warm and prominent pink. He startled when he replies “Um, s-sure” extended his scared hand to Katsuki to take it.

Carefully the ash blonde took the large scared palm in his and lightly squeezed it. He eyed every scar and scrap on it running his thumb over the back of greennet’s palm. It feels almost relieved, like it is the most valuable prize in his life. And memories of their past flood his mind.

“You know, I dream about that freaking hand constantly. After that day when I felt from that damn log, when you reached this hand to me. It’s hunting me in nightmares sometimes” he suddenly feels how that scared hand tense in his grip. Crimson eyes glance up at the greenett, he didn’t mean to scare him. “Heck, didn’t mean to scared you” he says reassuring. “What I mean is that I’m so freaking regret that I push you away from that damn day. I was egotistical and arrogant brat and I regret my past decisions. I’m sorry, Izuku”

The greenett relax and cups the ash blonde’s hand with his other hand.

“Thank you, Kacchan, but you don’t need to apologize to me for that, I already forgive you long time ago” he beam at him. “And you already apologized for your past, I don’t hold a grudge against you, never will be. You are so amazing and strong, Kacchan, if so I will be your number one fan when we graduated. You will be the great hero, Kacchan, no doubt” his bright smile illuminate dark kitchen and Katsuki almost squeezes his eyes.

They stayed there staring at each other’s eyes hand in hand and no one wanted to take a move to disturb their peace. But nothing is eternal.

The loud yawn leave greenett’s mouth and one hand trying to covered it.

“We should probably go to bed now” suggests the ash blonde feeling that sleep has reached him too.

“We should” flutter open green eyes replied.

Katsuki turns towards staircase and tug Izuku with him. They slowly climb up to second floor and when the greennet was about to say his farewell, the crimson eyes boy tug him higher with himself. Freckles cheeks heated up with new portion of pink blush but he didn’t complain or says anything against it. He trust Kacchan, he knows he won’t hurt him in any ways. They reach fourth floor and Bakugo’s door. The latter quietly opens revealing neat and tidy dorms room.

“Can you stay with me tonight? I won’t do anything to you, freaking promise” crimson eyes boy says reassuringly, he squeeze large scared hand lightly.

“Of course, Kacchan, I’ll stay with you” the greenett smiles brightly to him. It feels unreal at that moment, he would never have thought that this amazing young man with spiky ash blonde hair and deep ruby eyes would hold his hand so tenderly with soft gaze toward him. And that rare treasure smile on his face is worth a lot.

They entered Katsuki’s room, door close with quiet thud.

The ash blonde lead him into his bed, the mattress sagged under their weight. They lies there face to face still hand in hand on their sides carefully watching each other under duvet cover their shoulders.

Crimson eyes close and forehead touch the green mop of hair “I could be anyone you want me to be” he whisper to greenett.

The latter one put his free hand on ash blonde’s cheek and gently run his thumb over cheekbone. The green emerald shut close by eyelids.

“Then be yourself, Kacchan. I won’t you to change” his soft voice lull him to sleep. “I promise you, we will stay together, side by side. Wherever fate takes us”.

“You better”.

They lies on the ash blonde’s bed quietly, slowly slipping to peaceful sleep. Their minds and hearts calm and steady, tomorrow they will talk more, but right now they’re enjoying each other’s company.

It was a rough long path, but they heading to bright future together and that is enough for now.

[sunspire-knight]

I translated my old short fanfic from Russian to English (all by myself, without any translator, so I'm a little bit anxious to post it, but I really want to. Idk how to tag it, but, am–)

❗️cw/tw: smoking, alcohol, internal homophobia, self-hatred❗️

short description: USSR 90s AU with my special interest, characters from Skyrim, my Dragonborn Zendar (Zakhar for this AU) and Marcurio (Mark for this AU), his husband. I wrote this fanfiction on his behalf. Men who love men in the post-soviet space very often face internal homophobia and hate themselves for their feelings towards men. That's why Mark is struggling here, but probably that's just because I enjoy writing painful stuff about queer people–😭

━────────────━

collage by me!

and the song which I was listening to while writing — for the atmosphere✨️

━────────────━

I wrap myself in my cheap coat, my feet freezing in autumn boots while I stand in the snow and wait for a marshrutka. It is going to take a while for it to arrive in this snowfall, but I will wait. I will freeze, but I will wait.

Somewhere on the other side of the road, among the rows of Khrushchevkas and panel houses, there is a light in the window of Zakhar's apartment. He is probably drinking his favorite tea with three tablespoons of sugar as usual, and watching the Spartak vs. Dynamo game on TV. I wish I could be with him now, not to watch football, not to drink tea with him, but to lie with my head on his lap and finally relax. I have not been able to relax for a long time.

I am lying in the bath without water, right in my clothes, looking at the ceiling. I turn on the water. I do not adjust it — it pours a little warm, a little yellow from rust in the pipes. The plaid shirt sticks to my body, the trousers too. I throw my legs up on the wall and lie there until my back starts to hurt. I do not want to think about Zakhar, but he gets into my head. I hate him. I hate him so much.

I drink 'forty percent' from a faceted glass. I wince — I hate vodka, as I hate Zakhar. I drink to muffle my thoughts. I smoke until my eyes are blurred, get drunk and fall to the floor. I vomit and crawl to the toilet. While I am throwing up, I feel like I am spitting out my own lungs along with my guts. Bile and vodka are bursting out of me. I feel very sick.

Muska is running around, meowing anxiously. Your owner is an idiot, Muska.

Exhausted, I lie down on the bed and light up again. How angry Zakhar would be at me right now... I smoke a whole pack, cough and feel how my chest aches. I understand that I can not do this anymore.

And so I live week after week, distracted by forced trips to the university, to work, trips to the store. I am indifferent to the world. And disgusted with myself.

Zakhar will not leave me alone in any way. He calls me at home, tells me something for hours, and I sit with my legs tucked up on a dusty armchair, listening to him. His kind voice on the phone, and it is so hard for me to remain calmly silent. It is hard not to shout anything superfluous into the phone. In Zakhar's voice, they tell me something about sports, about the district news, about what the old ladies in the entrance of his house are talking about, what is happening in our country. I do not care. My lips are trembling treacherously, and I clench my teeth tightly so that if I start talking, Zakhar will not hear weakness in my voice.

But now I am still standing at the snow-covered stop. My marshrutka drives up, I jump into it like into a black abyss, grab the handrails and shake off the snow. Behind my back, again, "Pass the fare, comrade" — I pass it on. I am not sitting down, I am going out soon anyway. It is not that far from Pervomaiskaya to my stop.

Here I go. The snow hits my face again in large flakes. Damn December. But the New Year is coming soon, right? I see colored lights in people's windows. Everyone is scurrying through the streets, happily chattering like jackdaws. Every year I manage to miss the moment when the general commotion begins. Zakhar will probably call me soon, as usual, and invite me to celebrate. I will agree. I will sit in his kitchen, drink coffee, stare absently at the television interference, and listen to the chimes, wondering what will happen next, in the coming year. There is fun in the next room, and Zakhar will invite me to join them. I will submit, I will enter the living room. Some guy, recognizing my face and remembering my last name, will jokingly call me some slurs, and I will not care. Zakhar will pour something for me. I get drunk easily and quickly, so soon, after half an hour of uncontrollable laughter at stupid jokes and attempts to joke back, I will fall asleep in the corner of the room like a hopeless alcoholic. Every year it happens somehow like this. The same movies on TV, the same holiday.

Probably, this New Year will be about the same. That is just it... with Zakhar, everything will be more difficult.

I walk further along the road covered with soft snow, winding along courtyards and entrances. A cold wind blows between the concrete boxes. The snow wipes away my shame like washing powder. I take a cigarette out of my pocket again, take a drag and smoke for a long time, looking at the fragment of the moon in the black sky.

There is a hard and bloody war going on in my heart. It does not seem so crazy out here in the cold, but when I am alone in the apartment, I know what it is like. I know what it is like to forbid yourself to feel. My dear Zakhar Demidov, you have always been so kind to me and always called me your best friend, and I... I destroyed it all. I am sorry, Zakhar. Sorry. I did not know that I could love too.

I throw my cigarette into a snowdrift and hide in the entrance, walk up the stairs to my apartment on the second floor, rush in, throw off my coat, take off my heavy boots, sink to the floor and remain silent, burying my shaking hands in my snow-soaked black hair. I do not understand how I allowed myself to do this. I do not understand. I do not want anything. I do not want to live, think, eat, or sleep. I do not want to realize that I am alive. From the feelings inside, everything hurts and is torn to pieces. I clearly know that love and I are incompatible things.

Realization rolls in slowly, incrementally, like an avalanche descending from a mountain. Me, who lives in the gangster nineties, on the edge of a cliff, where the Soviet Union ends and nothing begins, blackening with a terrible abyss. Me, who was born after the war. Me, raised with forced ideas of family values. Me, who never found the meaning of life, which, in fact, does not exist at all, and never did... It is all me. I am Mark Hoffman, born nineteen fifty-seven, educated and, it seems, not a stupid person, but in fact a complete idiot. Because I fell in love with someone who I was not allowed to fall in love with.

Zakhar will come to me again. He often comes in just to chat and play with the cat. He says he likes my company. I am going to pretend like nothing happened again. To look at him, hating myself and my stupid heart. To lie to his face that I quit smoking. To discuss newspaper clippings with articles about the decaying West, where for two men to love each other is no longer something shameful. I will laugh about it and say, "It is hard to believe." But, it is interesting... What will Zakhar think?

And I do not hate him after all. I love him. I love him too much to forgive myself for that.

━────────────━

It was definitely MUCH better in Russian, but I hope at least someone will like it–

[babyjakes]

and you know, and so do i.

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summary | andy calls you in for office hours, just as he’s done almost every week of the semester. you both know your grade in his class is the least of the worries that he hopes to address.

pairing | professor!andy barber x student!reader

warnings | ed themes mentioned: implied restrictive subtype, no real symptom talk/mostly just body experience descriptions (weak, dizzy, spaced out, confused), resistance to help andisolation, suggestive that reader is severely ill. angst; this is not a fic with a happy ending, this is not a fic headed in a happy direction. soft!very concerned!andy.

word count | 1,179

an | hi friends. this is one of those fics that i don’t really know how to write an introduction for. i think this was mostly written as a way for me to support myself when i wasn’t getting the support i needed. please heed all the warnings given; the topic of ed’s is very fragile, i know, and i want you all to be safe and make choices that’ll be healthiest for you. i wrote this originally after rediscovering a song i used to listen to a lot back in high school when i was in the worst of my anorexia; listening to it again after so long brought back a lot of memories, one in particular of one of the last times i was brought into the er. i was deteriorating heavily and i remember just lying there and staring at the ceiling, listening to this song and feeling like i was back at my childhood home, sitting by the open windows listening to the neighbors’ kids playing outside. idk, it’s a very vivid memory for me. here’s a link to the song (getting lighter, goldmund) for anyone who’s interested.

Sitting in your regular brown armchair, the worn vintage-patterned fabric barely bending beneath your shallow frame, your eyelids droop like flower petals heavy with rain; you could not focus on the man in front of you if your life depended on it.

Standing with his back to you, broad shoulders filling out the deep navy seams of his university sweatshirt, Professor Barber tends to the whistling kettle on the stove, carefully killing the heat as he asks his question again, “Y/n, are you sure you wouldn’t like a cup of tea?”

Eyes lazily resting on some point just beyond the tip of your own nose, you hum some sort of confirmation or agreement, though it isn’t enough for him to understand until he turns around briefly to look at you, his gaze softening in worry as he watches you watch… nothing. Pouring himself a mug, he adds a tea bag and joins you in taking a seat, picking his usual spot on the green sofa across the narrow office from you. Setting his drink down on the coffee table beside him, the man sets his hands in his lap, an expectant silence falling over the room as he looks you over carefully.

And you, are entirely somewhere else. Chapped bottom lip parted ever so slightly from the top, you draw in a shaky breath as something warm hits your cheek; you think it could be a tear before you realize the window is open right beside you, a gentle ray of sun shining in and landing just below your eyes. Closing them for a moment, you stop to listen, the distant sounds of blowing grass and voices from afar filling your chest with heaviness. The whole world feels so light, like you could step right off the ground and float up into the sky on the breeze. For a moment, just a moment, you begin to forget where you are. Everything sounds and smells like home; you wonder if the faint smell of tea leaves in the air is coming from your mother’s favorite olive-green mug.

Voice trembling, you manage to say, “It’s beautiful out.”

“It is,” Andy’s soft voice agrees through the darkness. Andy, he had told you to call him that. Sometime, weeks ago. You never knew why he kept calling you in to see him every Thursday afternoon, and he never offered any reason, and yet- you continued to show up, week after week. Or maybe, maybe you did know. Maybe you do. Maybe even, you know, that he knows.

“It feels like summer,” you admit, your own voice barely recognizable to you as you do your best to fight back tears that have for some reason built up; maybe it was the tenderness of his voice. Maybe it’s the familiar smell of the spring air. You realize that you don’t want to be here; this is a frightening place for you, sitting in the warmth of the early May sun. Your hands squeeze the armrests of the chair as you do your best to remind yourself of your surroundings, but you can’t help but feel like maybe you’ve fallen asleep; maybe you’re dreaming of home. Maybe you’ll never see home again.

“Do you like the summertime, y/n?” Andy asks, watching patiently as you continue to sit with your eyes fully closed, nostrils flaring slightly as you struggle to take in a breath that feels big enough.

Head still heavy with thought, you mumble an, “I don’t know.” I’d like to live to see another one, you think to yourself, but as always, the words just can’t seem to find their way past your lips.

Straightening himself a bit in his seat, Andy nods though you can’t see him, clearing his throat briefly before saying your name once more, “Y/n.” Your eyes open, gaze landing on the man as he sits just a handful of feet away from you, and the look on his face is something you’re not ready for; it’s full of concern. You can’t tell if that’s everything you’ve ever wanted, or everything you’ve been trying to avoid. “Do you know why I assign you here, every week?”

Breaking away from his softened gaze, you try to shrug off the question. “I am barely passing your course,” you admit.

Andy nods, though you somehow already know that’s not where he’s headed. “Of course. But you know that’s not why I ask you to come. That’s not why you do come, is it?”

Heaviness sinks into the tips of your fingers as you blink at his question; part of you knows there’s no point in answering. Though still, you find yourself confirming his guess, “No, it’s not.”

He hums with a nod, repeating your name once more. “Y/n…”

“I can stop coming,” you say quietly, everything about you: your voice, your body, your presence- suddenly feeling incredibly and dangerously small as your head drops in shame. “I-I can stop. I won’t bother you anymore.”

Shaking his head, Andy’s tone has softened as he tells you, “I hope you won’t stop. I hope you keep coming- I hope you’ll talk to me, y/n. I hope one of these days, one of these afternoons, you finally will.”

Swallowing down a lump in your throat, you can’t bring yourself to look at him again. You know you should get up, you should walk out before this can go any further, but there’s something too heavy about the sunlight on your face, the thick balminess of the air that keeps you trapped in your seat as you blink back more tears. You are stuck; there is no way out for you. And you think that you’ve probably been that way for a long, long time.

“I don’t want to talk,” though you’re expecting your voice to be full of bitterness, you’re surprised to find it’s more than anything else, just weak. Weary.

“I’m sure you don’t,” Andy acknowledges understandingly. “But don’t you think you should?”

“I-I can’t,” you say, eyes struggling up to meet his waiting gaze. “I just… I can’t.”

Smiling gently in defeat, Andy nods. “Well, I can’t force you, and I wouldn’t want to. But I will keep inviting you back, just in case,” he tells you.

As he shifts directions in the conversation, beginning to go on about something that happened the other day in class, the heaviness in your chest rots and blisters into a burning pain. Eyes clouding over as the man’s voice floats up and away, out of reach for your ears, something collapses a little inside you. Pressing your palms into the wood of the chair’s frame, you realize this’ll be the last time you sit here in this spot; next week when youre invitation arrives, you’ll ignore it. You have to.

Eyes drawing to a close once more, you inhale deeply, savoring the sounds of the world through the window as they grace your ears. You’re not coming back, and you won’t hear them again. And a part of you knows you won’t make it home for the summer.

[gashinabts]

anti-romantic | (m)

word: 4.1k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre:  Slight Angst, Fluff, Smut

Summary: celebrating father’s day without actually having kids is more fun according to you and jungkook

Warnings: hidden oral sex (fem), blow job, public sex, slight choking, riding, some roleplay (hehe)

a/n: lol this was in my drafts and was supposed to be posted on father’s day but idk if you guys liked this couple...but here it is! Might do more drabbles and stuff with this couple. lemme know what you guys think.

Read this first —> anti-baby fever

“ Happy Father's day!,” you place the bouquet of flowers on the desk before jumping on his body that was peacefully sleeping in the bed. There’s a grunt that comes out and you nuzzle your way into his neck, kissing his moles until he wakes up.

Jungkook's eyes open slowly, yawning loudly before speaking. “ How’d you find out that I have a kid? I thought I did a better job of being discreet,” he smiles when you bite his neck. His large hands hold onto your waist moving you so that you are sitting on top of him. 

“ Yeah happy father’s day...because I do be swallowing your babies,” you hold back your laughter as you try to finish your sentence. 

Jungkook barks a laugh, shaking his head at the dirty joke. “ I’m surprised to hear that coming from your mouth but I’m also proud,” he brings your head down to kiss your lips. There’s a slight gap when he pulls apart, “ So where is my breakfast in bed?” Jungkook asks, his lips barely touch yours as he speaks.

“ Damn, you're taking this roleplay too far,” you huff a laugh. “ Do you also want me to buy you a barbecue grill?” His eyes playfully roll, bringing you down to kiss him once more.

----

As funny as it sounds your dad is trying to convince Jungkook to buy a similar barbecue as him, they are talking among themselves, grilling some meat as you are with your mother and sister. It's a small gathering and you just want to go back inside your parents house because it is a million degrees outside. “ Auntie Y/N come swim with us,” one of your nephews comes to splash water on you. He laughs loudly when you give him an annoyed look, as the cold water drenched your summer dress. 

“ I don’t have any swim suits and if I get in there I will probably drown you in front of your mom,” you feel a pinch on your left arm from your mom giving you a disappointed look. On the other hand your sister laughs, shaking your head as she breastfeeds her daughter. The little brat taunts you sticking his tongue out then swims along to play with his cousins. “ I’m kidding,” you tell your mom. 

Turning back to drinking your ice tea, you sigh at the words your mother says next. “ So when are you and Jungkook going to get married? You are not getting anymore younger and it will be hard to get pregnant-”

“ Mom...,” your sister tries to defend you.

The thought of swimming sounds more appealing to you, anything that makes you stray away from this conversation with your mother. “ We actually got married, we just didn’t invite you to the wedding,” you look at your mom, her eyes shooting daggers at you. “ Imma go swimming. My stuff is still in my old room, yeah?” Your mom nods her head, pinching the bridge of her nose, probably at the annoyance of you. 

Stepping in your old room feels nice, the cold air hitting your slightly sweaty face, instantly making you cool down. You toss your body on your bed, closing your eyes, taking a breather before going outside and into the boiling pits of hell. “ This brings up old memories,” you hear your boyfriend. Smiling you look to the doorway, his body leaning against your door entrance, his arms are crossed and there’s muscle definition on his biceps. 

“ Yeah, because we lost our virginity on this bed,” you hold your hand out so he can come closer to you. Jungkook leans down, giving you quick kisses before giving you a suggestive look. 

“ Should we recreate it?,” his eyebrows go up and down. 

“ Okay,” you whisper, bringing his head down to kiss him again. “ That means you have to come in the first minute,” you laugh as he lets out a groan. Pushing him away you get up from the bed, and go to the drawers and grab a swimsuit. Putting it on you feel the straps digging into your hips and your top barely covering your boobs. Of course you don’t fit your high school swimsuits. 

“ Fuck,” you hear Jungkook sigh. Turning around you give him a confused look until you look down and see a boner. “ You look so fucking hot,” he comes to grab at your ass but you smack it off. Jungkook likes that you can’t fit in your bottoms, your cheeks showing making him want to bite it. Your hips look wider and he wants to hold on to it, feeling your supple skin that spills out from the thin straps. And the way your boobs spill out like they are purposely begging him to suckle on them. 

The apple of cheeks blush, your eyes widening at the intense stare. Shaking your head while looking at the door entrance nervously to see if anyone saw this scene. “ We are not fucking here, wait till we get home,” you lift your top up to try to cover more skin. 

“ Let me just taste you, baby. I’ll be quick,” his hands hold your hands kissing it, giving you his best puppy eyes. He just wants to smell you and taste you. A whole parade happens in his head when you agree, leaning against the dresser and parting your legs. 

Maybe it’s the heat that went to your head, that made you dumbly nod without thinking about the consequences that might happen. It turns you on even more, that you guys have to be careful and aware of your surroundings. Jungkook goes on his knees, pecking the inside of thigh before moving the swimsuit to the side, showing him your glistening folds. Immediately, his mouth is on you, tasting your arousal on his taste buds. One of your hands goes up to your mouth softening your quiet moans. The other hand, holds the dresser tightly, afraid that you might fall down.

His tongue lathers you wetness, looking up to see your chest heavily move and down. Your pretty eyes looking down at his mouth work wonders on you. “ Jungkook,” you moan. His rough hands lift your thighs up, stuffing his face more in, tongue penetrating in and out in your entrance. 

Lewd noises are being made by the two of you. Jungkook’s lips smack against your pussy, while your moaning has increased despite your hand muffling the noises. Your eyes widen when you notice your door is still open, anybody can pass by because the bathroom is across your room. “ Pay attention to me baby,” Jungkook smacks the outside of your thigh.

Listening to his words, you look into his doe eyes, his tongue do small licks on clit then sucking it before his lips plop off loudly. “ I don’t want you wearing this outside, because all I want to do is fuck you silly,” his finger goes to your entrance, thrusting slowly with a slight curl. “ I love the way you look in this,” his other finger joins and watches your hips ride them like it was his cock. He blows cool air onto your folds watching your body twitch at the sensation.

“ Yeah? I can barely fit in it,” you say as you toss your head back. There’s a cooling sensation against your heat, pulling your bottoms more to the side so it doesn’t go in the way of his mouth.

“ That’s why I love it, your body spilling out of it and it’s fucking hot. Look at your tits barely covered, your nipples are begging to be sucked on,” he gives you a sloppy kiss on your clit before continuing, “ Your hips look really wide, you know that means you can take my cock better.” His thumb rubs your clit fast, more wetness seeps out of your entrance making his fingers slide in faster. “ I also love it because I got to see you grow into and out of this swimsuit. Just proves to you that I’m always here,” he pecks your thigh. 

The words make you blush, insecurities washed away because you never thought that not fitting your swimsuit could be this hot and liberating. More importantly it makes you want to come all over his mouth. “ I love you,” you whisper softly.

His eyes are sparkly, looking like he holds the constellations in his eyes. “ I love you,” he says. Then placing his mouth on your cunt. Eating you up like he didn’t eat at all today. He moans into you, as your hands hold his hair tightly, the vibrations hitting your sensitive nerves making you moan loudly as you come against his wet mouth. Your hips moving against his mouth as you come down your high, finally stopping after a few seconds. Jungkook places your bikini back in place, kissing your hip. 

His hair is in his face, you tuck a strand behind his ear, “ Yeah, I’m not going swimming anymore,” you laugh in disbelief that your boyfriend ate you out in your childhood bedroom while your family is outside. Taking off your bikini you return back to your summer dress.

“ Yeah, we don’t want you flashing a nipple when you do a cannonball,” he laughs, getting up and watching you look at the mirror. There’s a slight frown on your face, he comes closer plopping his head on your shoulder. “ What’s wrong?” his hands are placed on your waist drumming his fingers. 

“ Do you want to get married?” your eyes meet Jungkook’s. His eyes widening at your question, there’s a couple seconds of silence. His body immediately leaves your, creating a small gap. Turning around to face him instead of talking to his reflection. 

Jungkook's eyebrows raise. “ Are you asking me or is it your mom?” When he was talking to your father earlier, he noticed you looking annoyed while talking to your mother. There was a small frown on your pretty face, and he wanted to kiss it off but your father was talking about which charcoal he uses for the grill.

“ It’s better to just get it over with, so she won’t have to keep pestering me,” you shrug. Which is probably not the right choice of words, since Jungkook lets out a disappointed sigh. His hand pushes his hair back in frustration. 

“ Seriously, Y/N?” As much of Jungkook would love to get married to you, he doesn’t want to get proposed because ‘you just want to get it over with’, it leaves his heart feeling heavy that you don’t see the problem in this. 

The tone in his voice sounds just like your mother, a chastising tone, and you get annoyed.“ I thought you wanted that,” you toss your head back. Not knowing what you are doing wrong. 

Jungkook doesn’t want to argue, especially now, since you guys are supposed to be spending family time. “ Not like that,” he rolls his eyes at how unaware you are. There’s a few seconds of silence, his hands push his hair back in frustration. “ Let’s go back out,” he says in defeat. Walking ahead of you, not holding your hand like he usually does.

The slider door is right in front of you, your family are talking among each other. One thing you don’t want is to be on bad terms. “ Jungkook, are you upset?” You grab his hand before he can walk outside to carry on talking to your family. 

“ Yes. Let’s talk about this later, okay?” Jungkook turns around giving you a smile. Not the kind of smile that makes your heart flutter, it’s the type of smile that you give when you don’t want to deal with someone. In defeat, you nod letting go of his hand, as he walks to the pool getting splashed by your nephews. He brightly smiles at them, wiping the water off his face before getting a water gun and chasing them with it. 

Sighing you walk to your dad who is still grilling meat, he looks at you smiling. “ Something wrong kiddo,” he asks as he flips over the meat. Typically, you never talk to your dad about your problems, only ever going to your sister sometimes but she’s not much help because she’s with your mom.

“ Jungkook and I had a...little argument,” you say, looking to the pool to see him spinning your nephew around. “ I asked if we should just get married because of mom’s bickering. Jungkook got upset,” you scratch your arm. Looking back at your dad whose face is at a grimace, your eyes widening. “ What?” 

There is playful screaming and laughing in the background, you ignore it trying to listen to your dad’s words. “ Don’t you think that’s a little harsh? I wouldn’t want to be asked like that,” he chuckles lightly. 

Replaying the conversation that you had with Jungkook, you mentally smack your palm to your head. Your mom shouldn’t be the reason why you should marry Jungkook. Jungkook is a hopeless romantic, he likes to be swallowed whole by your love. So of course he wouldn’t want to be proposed like that. Your dad pats your back in comfort before leaving you in your thoughts as you look at Jungkook making funny faces at your baby niece.

Jungkook is back in the house grabbing plates from the kitchen cabinet, you close the slider door quietly, walking behind him as he reaches for the last plate. Wrapping your arms behind his small waist, his breath hitches, exhaling your name. “ I’m a dummy,” you whisper.

Jungkook softly laughs, “ No you're not. I’m sorry for overreacting-“

“ You weren’t though,” you lay your head completely on his back, hearing his heartbeat. “ I wasn’t being considerate,” you kiss his back through his shirt. The plate makes a small clunk sound when he places it on the counter, turning around in your arms. His brown eyes look into your eyes before kissing you on your cheek. 

“ Baby, do you want me to talk to your mom?” Jungkook asks, his large hand caressing your cheek. You give him a questioning hum. “ That we don’t have to get married right now. That we are perfectly fine just the way we are.”

The silky strands are gliding in between your fingers, as you push it away from his face.“ Hmm. Maybe she will listen to you better,” you smile. Jungkook can easily make your mom's views change within seconds with his charming smile. 

---

Jungkook lifts you up the ground before you enter the house, crossing the threshold as he holds you in his strong arms. “ Why do you keep doing this with every house,” you laugh, holding on to him tightly. “ We don’t even know we are buying this house,” you say as he finally puts you down. Looking around the empty house, you visualize a sofa and tv in the spacious living room. 

“Exactly we don’t know, it’s bad luck not to do that,” he also looks around. “ This is nice,” he whistles looking at your hips swaying as you walk to the kitchen. “ The kitchen I mean,” he cockily says.

Turning around you playfully swat him, “ Can you imagine yourself cooking here?” The cold countertops touch your fingertips as they slide against it. You can see yourself cooking here making food for you and Jungkook, his hands on your hips as he watches you. 

Jungkook likes the way the set up of the kitchen, the granite countertops and the dark brown wooden cabinets give the kitchen an expensive feel. Compared to the first apartment he got with you in college this place is a thousand times better. His heart flutters knowing that he gets to share the rest of his life with you in this house. He comes closer to you hugging you from behind as you look inside the empty cabinets. “ Mhm, yeah I can see myself cooking here,” his nose rubs against your neck loving the perfume you're wearing. He can also see himself doing other things in this kitchen. “ And eating here too,” he says, blowing a raspberry in your neck.

Laughing in his hold you turn your head to kiss his cheek, “ Let’s go up. Before you act on your fantasies,” you grab his hand. Going up the stairs you guys checked out the three rooms and bathrooms. This house is something that you’ve been wanting for the past year, it’s spacious, has a big backyard to plant your flowers, and two hours away from your parents. “ We can put our bed here,” you point in the middle. “ The dressers here,” you point in two different directions. 

Jungkook smiles fondly as you point at random spaces, he’s pretty sure that you pointed at the same area more than once for different furniture going there. “ How about the other rooms? You don’t think three rooms is big?”

You shake your head, “ I think it’s perfect. Our room, your gaming room, and maybe a guest room in case my mom wants to spend the night,” you shrug at the end. There’s a rush of serotonin just imagining getting this house. “ What are your thoughts?” His pretty eyes look around the empty big room and smile on his face.

“ Let’s get it,” he looks back at you. Your eyes meet and you grab his shirt pulling him down to kiss him to show him how happy you are. Pulling away, he holds your chin looking at your silly smile. ‘ Yeah, this is definitely home,’ Jungkook thinks to himself.

---

“ Fuck Y/N,” Jungkook moans loudly his head hitting the back of his seat.  Your mouth sucks his tip lightly as your hand moves up and down his cock. His breathing is getting louder, and he wraps your hair around his hand, wanting to see your eyes. “ Couldn't even wait to go inside the apartment,” he shakes his head in fake disappointment. But this was far from disappointing. 

Moaning against his tip, you shake your head. Deciding on buying the house turned you on and you couldn’t wait to fuck him. Your lips make a plop sound as you pull apart, “ That wouldn’t be any fun,” you kiss his tip. Causing him to groan at your cunningness. “ We should fuck one last time in this parking lot,” you blow cold air on his tip before going down again. 

Jungkook wipes the foggy car window to make sure no one is here looking at you choking on his cock. You're letting guttural noises and your eyes water at his size, your hips move side to side in the air, probably itching to be touched. “ Yeah, choke on it,” Jungkook pushes your head down more, throat tightening around his cock. “ Are you crying on my cock?” Jungkook condescending laughs.

 It turns you on how mean he is being, your tears come down even more at the humiliation but you enjoy it. You can feel your panties are getting stuck on your folds and you badly want to relieve yourself. Jungkook pushes your head down one last time before pulling your head by your hair to kiss you. His tongue pushes against your exchanging moans against each other. He helps you move your body over the center console so you are now sitting on his lap. “ Wait Jungkook,” you pull apart. “ I need to take my pants off,” you look at the tight space around you. There’s not enough room to take it off where you are.

Jungkook screams at himself for not owning a bigger car. “ Uhh, just take your pants off real quick outside and come back inside the car,” he looks out to see no one out. The things you do for sex, you hurridely take off your pants and returning back to the position. His hands are on your thighs rubbing them up and down, as he makes outs with you. Your hips move against his trying to pleasure yourself. 

Jungkook pulls away staring at you with a lustful gaze, his hands moving up to caress your face, “ Can’t believe we are doing this,” he says, laughing in disbelief.

“ Mmm, same.  Something about you signing the papers and paying the deposit turned me on,” you kiss his cheek, while stroking him in your hands.

He groans, tossing his head back showing his bare neck for a quick second, “ Yeah?” He gives you a boyish smile. “ When I saw you walking up the stairs. Kinda wanted to fuck you right there,” he kisses your neck. He moans your name when you insert his cock into your tight entrance. 

“ Next time, do it. Take me anywhere in our new house,” you hold his head close to your neck. Feeling him sucking on your skin, probably marking his love for you. “ Are you gonna fuck me like your little housewife?” Smiling to yourself when you hear him groan your name. You breath out heavily, thighs shaking as you move up and down on his cock.

Jungkook's hands wrap around your waist tightly, thrusting up into you. “ My little housewife,” he whispers to himself. It doesn’t necessarily fit your image, due to the fact that you have a high paying job and you guys aren’t even married but it turns him on. There’s something a little demeaning about it and it twisted as it sounds he wants to continue with this little act you proposed. “ Gotta have you wearing nothing but an apron on,” he snarkily smiles up to you. 

His hard thrust is making you jostle in his arms, and you cry even more just imagining him fucking you from behind as you cook him dinner. “ Yeah what else would you want from me, my lovely husband,” you put your hands to the car ceiling trying to keep yourself ahold. 

His heart does a little jump at the word of husband, he knows it’s only you teasing but he loves the way it comes out of your mouth. “ Mmm, you have to be waiting on your knees when I come home from work,” he says while one of his hands trails up your neck lightly squeezing it. “ Fuck your mouth since you’re a needy slut waiting for her husband like a good wife.” 

Your walls tighten when you hear him speaking nothing but filth to you. His thrust hits the spot that makes you drool and eyes rolling back. “ Fuck Jungkook,” you whisper. The car is probably moving from how hard Jungkook is fucking. If someone were to walk by they can obviously tell that you guys are doing the nasty, but you don’t care, this is your last day in this apartment complex.

Jungkook looks at your tits bouncing and his mouth does his best at sucking at them. He moans around it loving the feeling of your nipple in his mouth. His eyes look up at you staring down at him, sucking it hard. His lips plops off your tit, “ Are you gonna come for me, my pretty little housewife?” He watches as you nod your head up and down, holding the car ceiling as your life depends on it. He wants to remember this moment forever. His hand holds your soft tit, fingers pinching your nipple, while his mouth goes back to the other nipple sucking it softly. Your walls squeeze his cock tight as you come around it while moaning his name loudly. He prays that the windows do a good job muffling your moans, but he doubts it.

Your hands come down brushing his hair back, “ Come in your wife,” your body is still shaking from the intense orgasm. “ Make good use of me,” you tell him. His eyes roll back at words. He sucks harder on your nipple and you hiss in pain and delight. He holds you tighter in his arms, thrusting in quick motions as he comes into you. 

The feeling of his come in your cunt makes you want him to fuck you all over again. Knowing that you are the only person in the world to have him inside you like this makes you prideful. The breaths die down and Jungkook is now sucking your nipples softly, humming around it. Your hands softly brushing his hair back, letting him do his thing. “ I didn’t know you would be so into the housewife role playing,” you laugh to yourself. 

His lips part from your tits, and he laughs with you. “ You're into it just as I was,” he pecks your boob one last time before taking his cock out of you. The semen slowly comes down your lips, his finger coming to massage it into your folds. His mouth waters wondering what you and him taste like together. He looks up, “ Wanna quit your job and I’ll wife you up?” he laughs when you swat his hand away.

[mountswhore]

I saved this on my phone because I wanted to send it to you as a request, but I don’t remember if I did. So in case i did and you plan on writing it ignore this one. In case i didn’t please consider this as my request 🙈 somewhere around the line “I thought you didn’t want me” with Mason please if that’s alright. Idk what exactly I want as the plot, but I’d like him to say that to her. In case the line fits in another request you have, you could include it instead of writing a whole imagine with it alone 😊

𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 — mason mount

summary: you tell mason you don't want him whilst you're working from home, only to find hours later, you did in fact want him.

notes: requests are OPEN. i'm so sorry for this taking so long to come out, also it's quite short as i didn't have a lot of inspiration.

You'd been allowed to work from home due to an issue with transport, and it meant you weren't restricted to tight work attire for seven to eight hours of the day. You could wear the comfiest clothes imaginable, eat whenever you wanted, and relax. Not only all of that, but Mason had an off-day too. Mason, being the far-too-distracting man that he is, usually made working from home impossible. Which is why you planned to stay away from him until your work was complete.

You were in your home office at 9am, a tea in one hand as you looked through the notes that you'd taken from your meeting last week. You had to finish all of these tasks before the deadline on Wednesday, it being a gloomy Monday morning.

Mason had woken up an hour after you'd started working, finding something to drink before coming to pester you, his daily ritual. He'd slipped through the door and hooked his arms around your shoulders, staring at the work document on your screen. You'd written half a page, ticking off yet another task from the meeting notes.

"Morning, busy bee." He hummed, pecking your cheek and giving you some of his bed warmth. But you wanted to remain distraction free.

"Morning, Mase. I will see you at lunch, I really need to get this work done, okay?" You spoke softly, sipping your tea and keeping your eyes glued to the screen. Mason wasn't so satisfied with your answer. He wanted to have you in his arms all day, not caring about your work like you did.

"Come on, I know you want me." Mason giggled, and you almost lost your breathe. You were not going to give into temptation.

"No, I don't. I will see you on my lunch break, okay?" You spoke, keeping a polite tone in your voice so Mason knew you weren't being harsh.

He'd respected your wishes, giving you one last kiss on your head before leaving. And you couldn't help but feel bad, leaving him all alone on his day off. Mason was the sweetest man alive, and it tugged at your heart strings to know he was wandering around the house alone today.

Lunchtime had hit, and you decided to get some food before you finished working. When you'd left your office and walked to the kitchen, a Deliveroo bag was sat on the island, and you frowned. Usually Mason asks if you'd like anything when he orders, and vice versa.

"I got you a little something," Mason mumbled, holding a bowl in his hands and smiling at you from around the other side of the kitchen. You smiled and opened the bag, seeing your very own bowl of food. You were starving, and needed food to keep yourself going for the next few hours.

Before even eating it, you looked over at Mason and felt the guilt from earlier returning. He was leant over the counter, watching a video on his phone and eating, staying out of your way like you wanted. You'd approached him and given him a bear hug from behind, your arms squeezing around him and giving him all of the love your body had held in today.

"I thought you didn't want me." Mason smugly stated, turning around with a smile on his face. And you rolled your eyes, still holding him tightly against your chest.

"I always want you, you're just too distracting sometimes." You replied, kissing his jaw gently and giving him a lustful look. It could've ruined lunchtime for the both of you if Mason had given in, but he was feeling extra petty today.

"Shame. We could be having fun right now, but I know how hard of a worker you are. So get back to it." Mason chirped, kissing your cheek and walking past you to leave the kitchen, and leave you high and dry on your lunch break.

[2salty4snails]

"Y/n, wake up!" y/n's drug addicted mother screamed. Y/n woke up, brushing their hair out of their face. They groggily put on their slippers and shuffled downstairs.

"What is it, mom?" Y/n asked as they sleepily slid down the banister. "Why is Harry Styles here?"

"I need more drug money, so I'm selling you to One Direction, y/n."

Y/n's eyes filled with tears. "You can't do this to me, mom! How will I date my boyfriend, Dean Winchester, or see my father, Tony Stark, if I'm sold to One Direction?"

"Cope," y/n's mother said. "Dean is cheating on you with Castiel of the Lord anyway."

"Time to go, girl," said Harry Styles. Y/n sadly followed him out the door, their eyelashes glistening with their tears.

"What are you going to do with me, Mr. Harry Styles?" Y/n asked when they were in his limo.

Harry Styles shrugged. "Idk I just ordered you off of Amazon at 3am, so I didn't really think this through."

Y/n arrived at the One Direction studio with Harry Styles. One Direction's manager met them at the door. "Harry Styles! You can't keep buying random people off of Amazon! You already have too many!"

Harry Styles sighed. "You're right." He turned to y/n. "I guess I have to let you go, Dean Winchester's ex/Tony Stark's child." He turned away his eyes filling with tears. "Goodbye."

Y/n stood and watched him leave, wondering what would become of them now. They decided to go to a coffee shop.

Y/n walked into a coffee shop. It was being run by Sherlock Holmes played by Benedict Cumberbatch. "What can I get you?" asked Sherlock Holmes played by Benedict Cumberbatch.

"I don't have any money. My mother sold me to One Direction."

"Then, I suppose, you'll just have to pay with your body," said Sherlock Holmes played by Benedict Cumberbatch. Y/n blushed.

Y/n was no longer blushing when they were serving as a barista in the coffee shop so that Sherlock Holmes played by Benedict Cumberbatch could go off and kiss John Watson. "Hello, what can I get you?" y/n asked the customer at the front of the line. Crowley took off his glasses, revealing his demonic eyes. Y/n swooned.

"One straight black coffee with eight sugars and a tea." Y/n nodded and made the order. Crowley took it. "How much do I owe you?"

Y/n twirled their hair and blushed. "It's on the house."

"That's nice of you. My boyfriend, Aziraphale, would like that." Crowley left to go see his boyfriend, Aziraphale.

Y/n slumped onto the counter. They didn't even bother to stand up straight again when another customer came in. "Let me guess, you want two drinks for you and your boyfriend."

The Doctor look confused. "What boyfriend?"

Y/n stood up and grabbed The Doctor's shoulders from across the counter. "Wait. You mean to tell me that you're actually single?"

"Yes?"

"Date me!"

"I'm just here to buy coffee."

Y/n screamed. "That's it! I've been working at this coffee shop for five whole minutes and I haven't found my soulmate! I quit!" Y/n threw down their apron and stormed out.

As y/n trudged down the streets, they decided they would have no choice but to visit their friend, Legolas - though he would probably be much too busy with his boyfriend, Gimli, to give them any mind. Everyone seemed to be dating someone except y/n. Even their drug addict mother had managed to hook up with Tony Stark all those years ago. As y/n changed direction to go to Legolas's house, they got kidnapped.

Y/n woke up, tied up and gagged in a room. They opened their eyes to see Loki, laughing evilly. "Finally, I've kidnapped Iron Man's child! Now the Avengers will be unable to do anything and I can conquer Earth!"

Y/n struggled until their gag fell off. "Are we dating now?"

Loki turned around. "What? No. I kidnapped you."

"If we aren't dating, why am I tied up?"

"Because I'm kidnapping you to use against your father, Tony Stark!"

"It kinda seems like we're dating and this is a sex thing."

"No! It's not a- !"

"It's okay; I'm into it."

Loki's face turned serious and he cut y/n's bonds. "Get out. I never want to see you again. You scare me."

"Bye, ex-boyfriend!" Y/n blew Loki a kiss as they left. Loki shuddered.

After y/n left they sighed. "Well, guess I have no choice but to date the Onceler."

[holycrimin]

Hi!! Since it's pride month, i'm gunna be sharing my ninjago character hcs! :)

Kai

-He/him, is trying to experiment with they/them pronouns aswell

-Bisexual with a lean towards women, thought he was straight then realized he also liked men and other genders aswell

-Cisgender and incredibly supportive of transgender people

-will gladly kick and/or punch a homphobe/transphobe

Nya

-She/they queen

-DemiAce (Demiromantic Asexual) she didn't have a lot of friends growing up, which in turn also means she never really crushed on anyone aswell.

-thought they were Aromantic for a while until she looked it up on google and went "OHHH"

-Demigirl, and just like her brother, they will gladly kick and/or punch a homophobe/transphobe in the face.

Cole

-He/him/all, he prefers he/him but can go with any pronouns really

-Gay. I think a lot of us agree on that one

-Didn't have any crushes on girls but somehow didn't connect the dots until he was like 15-16

-Alot of internalised homophobia at first because he was scared his dad was going to be disappointed in him, he wasn't but Cole was still scared

-Idk but he's definitely not cis, maybe agender or non-binary?

Jay

-He/him

-pansexual, he does not give two shits

-growing up, he had a LOT of crushes like i mean a LOT, on boys, girls, androgynous people, just.. everyone really

-Ed and Edna just accepted it and even encouraged him to be whoever he was.

-speaking of which, he's transmasc. Idk why it just makes sense

-Had a "i'm not like other girls" phase, then turns out he wasn't a girl at all

-Is on T and had top surgery between S7 and S8

Zane

-He/they/it

-Panromantic Asexual, it just makes sense man

-When they met their father, he asked if it was normal for him to feel attraction at all

-ofc It's dad said yes, then they had an hour long conversation about attraction, the LGBTQ+ community, etc.

-Agender. It was built as a man, but since learning about LGBT stuff, he's found an identity he was comfortable with.

-also they made like.. little metal plates resembling a female and male chest just incase dysphoria hits

Pixal

-Goes by all pronouns

-Greyromantic Asexual, never thought he could ever experience attraction then Zane came along and he was like "uh oh i think i'm inlove"

-wasn't sure what it was at first, human emotions were confusing for her at the time.

-They eventually learned over time and she's proud of who she is.

-They're also Agender, not for the same reason Zane was, though. She was actually supposed to be an androgynous android, but then decided it would rather have a more feminine body, voice, face, etc.

-His father, Cyrus Borg, just kinda went "Okay whatever you want sweetie :)"

-if dysphoria ever hits, she just uses the different breastplates her father made.

Lloyd

-He/It, he just likes it

-demiromantic asexual, thought he was straight his whole life then he found out about the Aromantic and Asexual spectrum

-it told its mother and she was like "that's great honey, do you wanna drink some tea now?"

-was genuinely surprised she didn't have a reaction at all even though he hyped himself up the night prior its coming out, and also practiced in the mirror in which the others overheard and now he denies it ever happening

-he found out like.. way after his dad kinda yknow.. 💀.. so obviously he literally couldnt tell him

-Transmasc. Bc i'm transmasc and I say so.

-he has indeed beat up a transphobe/homophobe before. Multiple times, actually.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Weighted Blanket

I blame the Bog for enabling me here. This got out of hand. It was just gonna be a cute little drabble I swear yall. But the feels took over? I want a Geralt for myself? Preferably the fanon himbo variety? Idk fam, ya get what ya get today.

Warnings: anxiety/anxiety attack (not panic attack), new established relationship, Jask feels like he has to hide his anxiety from people, Geralt being a soft ass himbo, someone plz find me one? plz?

_______________

Jaskier had spent the night at Geralt’s a few times and he was always incredibly nervous until Geralt opened the door. He adjusted his backpack strap and tapped his foot on the concrete porch and felt a little bit like a child at a playdate. He was a grown ass man. This wasn’t that big of a deal. At least that's what he told himself while he waited for Geralt to scramble out of whatever pretzel yoga pose he was undoubtedly in. Jaskier was all for taking care of himself, he just preferred the ‘extra whip and a pedicure’ style rather than ‘whole foods and regular exercise’ route. He was worried Geralt would try to get him to go to the gym and drink kale but he seemed perfectly content to let Jaskier do what works for him. 

When Geralt opened the door he had a goofy grin and his hair in a sweaty floppy bun, “You’re early,” he said it like it was a treat every time, regardless of how early Jaskier really was. Be it fifteen minutes or an hour and a half, he always looked like an excited puppy and it set Jaskier at ease. 

But today he didn’t feel the tightness in his chest melt away when Geralt smiled at him. Not when he pulled him into a hug before he could utter his greeting. Not even when Geralt kissed the top of his head and rubbed his arms vigorously to warm him up because, “I know you have a sweatshirt in your backpack.”

Jaskier shrugged and leaned into his chest, “I kinda forgot.”

“You weren’t cold?”

“Well now that you mention it....” Jaskier forced a playful tone and got two handfuls of Geralt’s ass, that wonderful, perky ass. And it did absolutely nothing to him. 

Geralt frowned and tilted his head, brushing the damp hair out of jaskier’s eyes, “I was gonna invite you to shower. But you don’t sound excited.”

Jaskier sighed and gave him a weak smile, “I want to be excited.”

Geralt just tilted his head the other direction and tightened his grip on Jaskier’s shoulders and oh wasn’t that nice. That eased the ache a little bit. 

“I’m just a little anxious from work,” Jaskier assured him, patting his hands over Geralt’s perky asscheeks, “Go shower. I’ll be good by the time you’re done.” 

“Are you sure?” Geralt slouched just a bit to draw Jaskier’s eyes to his, “Come with? I’ll wash your hair?” 

Jaskier shook his head with a little smile, “Tempting. But I’ll drink some tea under my blanket then we can enjoy our evening.” 

Geralt kissed his forehead and gave him a quick but firm hug before darting down the hallway to rush through his shower. Jaskier measured his breathing as he made tea, now fairly familiar with Geralt’s kitchen, and settled down on the couch to dig through his backpack for his weighted blanket. 

Only it wasn’t there. His backpack had felt light when he left but it was just such a hectic day and he’d just wanted to see Geralt so bad. 

“Fuck,” he whispered, seeing his hands start to shake as he rezipped his pack, “It’s just a little anxiety Jask. It’s fine. You are fine. It isn’t the end of the world. It will pass. It’s just because that asshole yelled at you, not anything to do with Geralt. You two are fine, good even…” 

He sat back on the couch and pulled his knees into his chest, clutching at the mug of too-hot tea to keep his hands from shaking. Every few seconds he remembered he had to breathe, and do so slowly, if he wanted to get through this feeling and he would gasp a little bit with the realization he hadn’t been. He whispered his logical thoughts he’d prepared for this. The spiral would get a little momentum and he’d count his breaths and repeat his prepared sentences and he’d feel it receding but that was as much momentum as he could get. 

As soon as he started to calm down, he’d think about Geralt coming out of his shower to see him like this and it would start up again. He’d managed to keep his anxiety under control in front of Geralt so well. Geralt was so calm and steady and gentle that Jaskier hadn’t had to try so hard to begin with. But now his crazy was all out on the table and he wasn’t quite mentally prepared to be thrown out of Geralt’s house. 

In the middle of repeating one of his calming thoughts, he heard Geralt pad around the couch and felt more than saw him sit down.

“Jask?” Geralt’s voice didn’t quite sound real, but it was still soft and gentle enough not to spike his anxiety any worse, “You okay?”

He just shook his head and forced himself to exhale slowly. 

“What’s wrong?”

Jaskier swallowed hard and whispered with more effort than he’d like to admit, “Just an anxiety attack. I… I forgot my weighted blanket.” 

Gods did that feel horrible. Admitting to your hot new boyfriend that you have a security blanket at 30 and it sends you into an anxiety attack when you leave it at home wasn’t really on his to do list, but here he fucking was. 

Geralt gripped the tea mug by the rim and took the now lukewarm tea before his shaking hands spilled it all over his knees, “What do you need?”

Jaskier felt tears brimming behind his eyes and squeezed them shut, “Wh- what?”

“What do you need? To help you.”

“Oh,” Jaskier opened his eyes and tears fell down his cheeks, “No one’s ever asked me that before...”

Geralt took a deep breath and held it for a moment before exhaling and offering his hand to Jask, palm up, “Can we try something that helps my brother?”

Jaskier nodded, he didn’t even care what it was, he was too shocked by the realization that Geralt wasn’t scared off or disgusted with him. 

“Your weighted blanket helps, right?”

Jaskier nodded and set a trembling hand in Geralt’s palm, swiping at his face with the other. 

“Can I hold you? See if that helps?” 

Jaskier nodded again and uncurled from his ball a little bit so Geralt could pull his legs over his lap and wrap his arms around Jaskier’s body. He squeezed a little tighter than his usual hugs but the pressure was just barely registered with the way Jaskier’s body was in overdrive. Regardless, he burrowed into Geralt’s shoulder, partly to hide his tears and partly because it felt safe. 

“How’s this? Are you okay?”

Jaskier nodded, “Can you squeeze tighter?”

“How about we lay down?” 

“Lay down?” Jaskier’s voice cracked on his words but he barely even noticed. 

Geralt rested one large hand over his soft brown hair, “I could be your weighted blanket? It works for Skel sometimes.”

“Yeah- yeah, okay,” Jaskier muttered as he forced his creaking knees to straighten as Geralt laid him back onto the couch. Geralt positioned them so he was laying on his side against the back of the couch and Jaskier was on his back in front of them. He laid his head on Jaskier’s shoulder and half draped his body over him, just testing the waters. 

That alone was nice, but the little bit of relief only made Jaskier crave more. He tugged at Geralt’s elbow, not really pulling but guiding him to completely cover him. That was perfect. Jaskier could think a little clearer after a few seconds, then he could feel his limbs again and hummed happily. 

“Good?” Geralt’s hopeful smile beaming up at him from where he was resting his chin on Jaskier’s sternum was bright enough to end wars. 

“Very.”

Geralt closed his eyes and sighed, that soft little smile still on his face. Jaskier took a deep breath and basked in the way Geralt’s torso pinned him to the cushions. His thighs were pressed over his legs and pleasantly heavy and the way he’d cushioned his chin with his hands meant Geralt’s lovely, squishy, heavy arms were keeping his shoulders down. 

After a few minutes Jaskier felt the post-anxiety exhaustion hit that let him know it was really over, but he didn’t want to move. Instead he wrapped his arms around Geralt’s ribs and laced his fingers together over his spine. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, eyes closed with a tired smile, “You’re the best weighted blanket I’ve ever used.” 

“Anytime,” Geralt’s voice reverberated through Jaskier’s body in the most soothing way, deep and strong but gentle as well, “I mean it. You don’t need to hide this from me. I want to help.”

Jaskier giggled, “Oh don’t tell me that.”

One of Geralt’s hands floated up to trace Jaskier’s jaw and the high points of his cheekbones, “Why not?” 

“Well, I might believe you. It's a little overwhelming- believing you. -And my anxiety,” Jaskier clarified, brushing his thumb over Geralt’s back as he spoke.

“That’s okay.”

Jaskier frowned and looked down at his boyfriend. He was staring up at him with ridiculously round eyes and his eyebrows drawn in and together with a not-so-subtle pout to his lips. Regardless of the cute face, his eyes held sincerity. And Jaskier didn’t really know what to do with it. 

“I-” Jask took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling as he spoke, “I’m used to hiding it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Geralt tapped Jaskier’s chin to get him to look at him, “Yeah, that’s okay. If it’s hard for you to tell someone, that’s okay. We’ll work with it.” 

If he weren’t pinned underneath Geralt at an uncooperative angle, Jaskier would have kissed him, but he settled for resting his palm on his jaw, “You’re too sweet to me.”

“You deserve it,” Geralt hummed, turning his head to kiss his wrist. 

For once, Jaskier didn’t fight him on it. 

[moononastring]

I love Gigi’s Tea Time and I’m actually in need of some friends to talk to so I hope you’re cool with me just word vomiting at you for a minute.

Me and my friend Matt have known eachother since we were 14 and we’re 27 now so it’s been a long time. We went to school together, worked together for like 8 years, he lived with me at one point for a few weeks because he was in a rough spot and now we’re work out buddies.

We HAVE NEVER been more than friends EVER. We started losing weight together in January and both have lost over 70 pounds and we’re looking good feeling good all that jazz.

He asked me to go to a wedding with him a few months ago and it was today and we went. I was assuming as friends because in all this time we’ve never so much as like thought about kissing or anything. Yeah we hug but I hug all my friends.

I know most of his family and we were all talking and his mom comes up and is like I’m so glad you guys finally got together. When I say I almost spit my drink out I literally started choking. I explained we were just friends still and apparently he was telling his family we were together. I confronted him about it and he didn’t even deny it and told me to my face that he had always thought I was the “perfect girl for him” but he just never found me attractive until now. This wedding was over an hour away from home so I just sort of let it simmer and tried to just brush it off. But now that I’m home I’ve been like sobbing for an hour because not only was that just heart breaking to me but also I feel like I just don’t even want to be friends with someone I really cared about and it sucks so bad. I just want to know if I’m over reacting because it just felt so mean to me and like our whole relationship has been… idk: like I was so good personality wise and now that he finds me attractive he thinks he’s entitled to me? Idk I’ve just never been more upset at something someone has said to me and he didn’t even think it was wrong. 😭 He tried to kiss me at the wedding and when he dropped me off at home and I just avoided it and now he’s texting me asking me what’s wrong and I don’t even know how to respond 😭 like do I explain hey you’re an asshole? Do I just let it go? Ugh.

Oh darling, I'm sorry the night didn't turn out the way you expected it!

First of all, congratulations on that weight loss journey! That's a huge deal and you casually said it like over 70 pounds isn't a massive achievement! I hope you're feeling your healthiest yet and feeling amazing in your body!

Second of all, you are not overreacting. I'm sorry that he said that to you. It was very unkind and rude. Your feelings are absolutely valid and I'm always going to tell anyone in a situation like this — that this is something you want to hash out.

You've been friends with this person for SO long and clearly, he's been a good guy for all the time you've known him. Because of that, I think it's a situation that deserves an explanation. For your sake first, I would encourage you to have a conversation only to clear things up and figure out boundaries for this friendship. He needs to understand why what we said/did was wrong and how it hurt you. He made a decision about the two of you without including you in it, which was very bold and disrespectful. He never asked you out? You two have never discussed anything about being more than friends? Why does he think that it automatically means you're together? He's making moves on you without once discussing it or asking you if this is what you want. He needs to take several steps back because it seems like he crossed the line with you.

I obviously don't know either of you personally and you'll know him and the nature of your relationship better than I ever would but I think in order to see how you feel and where you stand in this friendship moving forward, a conversation is necessary. Some guys really are that dumb and if he's been a part of your life for this long, it needs to be explained. I don't recommend over text. If you're up for replying, tell him y'all need to talk about what happened today because you ended the night feeling unhappy and unsettled. From there, see when you feel comfortable talking about it with him. Don't wait too long to talk it out because it'll fester.

But more importantly, don't you dare let his lack of tact/brain make you feel any less amazing about yourself. You are amazing on the inside, and you are amazing on the outside. Just because HE happened to realize NOW that you've been attractive all along, doesn't mean anything other than he's been blind lol.

Again, I'm sorry what he did/said made you feel this way. You're doing amazing and you seem like such a great friend to him. Let yourself process how you feel for the rest of the night and even tomorrow then address it. If it made you feel like this, it's not something that should be brushed under the rug.

Feel your feels my darling but then set him straight when you're feeling calm and ready to talk it out.

I heart you bby <3

[lovely-angst]

I’ve been kind of going through it a bit at home. Maybe a scenario where almost everyday fem y/n parents are fighting everyday because the dad is always coming home late from drinking and that’s when the argument starts and they put the blame on you for them arguing and Katsuki comforts you the whole night and just takes you out? Idk I just need a comfort scenario rn I hope you don’t mind doing this !! You don’t have to do it if it causes a trigger ofc <3

a/n: I’m sorry I couldn’t get to this sooner! I know it is hard, just know you’re not alone! i also changed request a bit, hope it still helps! <3

tw: broken family, arguing

genre: fluff and angst

pairing: bakugou x reader

summary: bakugou takes you to his house after a long night of your parents arguing and you get a glimpse of what a loving family looks like

word count: 1.6k

02.20.2021

-

Nights like these, you’ve learned to tune them out. It sounds like a ringing in your ear as you watch your parents gesture around angrily at each other as you sat on the couch, thinking of ways you could escape to your room. 

It was always like this. Your dad would come home drunk and your mom would always get angry at him for it. You didn’t know why they always seemed to rope you into these arguments, but it wasn’t like you could stop them from keeping your name out of their mouths—they never listened to you anyway.

They always blamed you. Using you to throw all of their problems onto, acting as if it would relieve some of their problems. Deep down, you knew it wasn’t because of you, but it didn’t stop you from questioning if they were right.

Somehow, you managed to escape to your room, muffling their voices further as you shut the door. Days like these, you felt alone.

A ding beside you snapped you out of your thoughts before you reached over to grab your phone—it was Bakugou.

‘I’m at the convenience store by your house, did you want something?’

It was like Bakugou was your guardian angel. He always seemed to be there when you needed it the most, especially when you were reaching out silently. Your heart was so full of love for him, he was too good.

‘I’m not feeling great, can we hang out a bit?’ you hated being so negative with Bakugou, but right now, the only thing you wanted was him. And not even 30 seconds later, he replied.

‘I’ll be there in five minutes’ And like he said, five minutes later, he was outside. Slipping in a sweater, you made your way back into the living room, where your parents continued to argue.

“I’m going out,” you say, not bothering to check if they heard—not that it mattered.

Shutting the door behind you, you immediately press yourself against Bakugou’s chest, taking in his presence and his scent. His muscular arms wrap around you gently as you let out a heavy sigh. You never wanted to leave the safe place of his arms.

“Are your parents arguing again?” Bakugou questions and all you could do was nod. “I just needed to get out of there.” He lets out a hum, rubbing your back with his free hand before gently pulling away to reach into his bag. “I thought this would cheer you up.”

Your eyes lock onto the meat bun in his hands before you give him an embarrassed smile, “Why do you always assume food would make me feel better?” you say, taking to meat bun from his hands.

“Cause I know it does, and I know you love that shit,” Bakugou intertwines his large one with yours as the two of you walk down the street in a comfortable silence. “Can I stay the night at your place?”

“Wouldn’t your parents get upset?” he asks, but you shrug. “I’d rather get in trouble staying over at yours than to hear them arguing until the sun rises.”

Bakugou didn’t want to be the cause of trouble headed your way, but you seemed determined to get out. Letting you stay over was the least he could do.

“Do you think your parents would mind?” You ask, glancing up at him for an answer only to feel him squeeze your hand gently, “You know they love having you over.”

“Yeah, but it’s a bit late for me to be coming over and especially on such short notice,” and before you could worry any more, Bakugou leaned over to press a kiss onto your lips before facing forward once more.

“Just let it happen. You’re not a bother to us, I mean it.”

It didn’t take long before the two of you arrived at the Bakugou household. You’ve always enjoyed being around his family, even if he and his mom bickered. It was out of love and not pure hatred.

“I’m back and I brought (Name). She’s staying the night,” Bakugou announced from the door as the two of you placed your shoes neatly on the floor before walking into the living room.

“Nice to see you, (Name),” Masaru greeted with a smile from the couch as you gave him a polite bow, “Thank you for having me. I apologize for coming so suddenly.”

“Don’t be! It’s nice to have another lady in the house and we love having you over!” Mitsuki exclaimed as she walked out from the kitchen, coming over to hug you. “It’s refreshing to have you over and Katsuki’s so much calmer when you’re here!”

You give her a smile and a giggle when you hear Bakugou yelling beside you. “I think it’s the other way around. I feel so much more calm and relaxed with Katsuki,” you say, earning an embarrassing pout from him. “I don’t know what I would do without him.”

-

It was just past midnight and the Bakugou household was now dark and quiet, not a sound to be heard other than the soft mingled breathing of you and Bakugou.

“Close your eyes and go to sleep,” Bakugou mumbles as you stare up at him, eyes wide and very much awake. Even with his eyes closed, he could feel your eyes focused on him.

“I like looking at you,” you confess before Bakugou wrapped his arms around you, pressing you tight against his chest. Each beat of his heart brought you closer to sleep as your eyes slowly drifted shut. Bakugou rubbing your back comfortably to soothe you to sleep.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” you question and Bakugou furrows his brows in response. “I mean, my parents always blame me for their arguments. Am I doing something wrong?”

“It’s not you who is doing anything wrong,” Bakugou continues, “your parents just don’t want to put the blame on themselves. You know it’s not you.” You nod but couldn’t help the sigh that escaped your lips, “I know, but it doesn’t help to hear it daily.”

“Thanks for bringing me here,” your soft voice tickles his chest gently, your fingers running along his arm. “I wish I could live with you,” you say quietly and Bakugou hums in response, “I know.”

“Maybe someday?”

“Mhm.”

Even in his drowsy state, Bakugou meant it. Smiling, you snuggle deeper in his arms with a content sigh. You wished every night could end like this.

-

The sounds of dishes rattling in the kitchen stirred you awake from your sleep as you curled into your side, hoping to meet the warm chest of your boyfriend. But, his side of the bed was cold and empty. Opening your still tired eyes, you looked around to be met with a room void of Bakugou.

Throwing your feet over the bed and onto the cold hardwood floor, Bakugou’s voice suddenly came from the doorway. “I was just about to come to wake you up,” he states, earning a pout from you.

“I would’ve liked to have been woken up with you by my side,” you whine but walk over to slump yourself against his body, already feeling the drowsiness once more.

Bakugou’s chest rumbles as he lets out a chuckle. “Hurry up and get ready so we can eat breakfast,” he finishes, kissing you on the forehead before ushering you to the bathroom.

Walking into the bathroom, you stared at your toothbrush that Bakugou had kept for you. “Because you always forget your toothbrush,” he would say, but you knew he always had a spare for you.

Cleaning up your appearance, you walked over towards the dining table where the Bakugou’s were waiting for you happily and warmly like always. “Sit down, we’re so happy that you’re able to join us for breakfast,” Mitsuki says as you take a seat beside Bakugou.

“Would you like some tea?” Masaru offers and you nod, taking the cup politely. “Don’t be shy, dig in (Name).” He says, chopsticks already in his hands.

Glancing down, everything looked delicious. There was a bowl of miso soup beside your small bowl of rice, a plate of salmon that already had your mouth watering and a steaming meat bun beside you.

“Katsuki had told me that you loved meat buns, so we had one heat up for you,” Mitsuki comments as she saw the way you eyed the meat bun. “He tells me a lot about you.”

“Hey! Shut your trap!” Bakugou snarls and Mitsuki shoots back, “Don’t talk to your mother that way! Just say you’re in love with (Name) and go!”

That seemed to shut Bakugou up. His arms crossed with a pout on his lips, but you didn’t miss the blush that adorned his cheeks and ears. His father chuckles before turning towards you, “That boy is wrapped around your finger though, (Name).” 

Mitsuki giggles at Bakugou before they continue to banter at each other playfully. Masaru enjoying his breakfast whole heatedly with his family.

It was different, you thought as you watched them. How a family could be so loving towards each other, so full of love.

“This...This is really nice,” you say with a soft smile as your hands wrap around the bowl of miso soup. “I’ve never had a family breakfast like this before,” you confess shyly. “My family is never happy like this, so thank you for showing me what a loving family is supposed to look like.”

Bakugou’s eyes slightly widen at you from your sudden confession and before he could move or do anything, his mom spoke up. “Sweetie, know you’re always welcomed here! You’re already apart of our family!” she says and Masaru gives you an approving nod.

You couldn’t help the widening smile on your lips as you hunch in on yourself shyly, “I can’t thank Katsuki enough for giving me this. For bringing me so much happiness.”

Underneath the table, Bakugou’s hands seek out yours before giving you three firm squeezes as to silently say:

I love you.

[drama--universe]

Requested by @kdrama-i-nation: Hello! Can I request a Lee Yeon x reader imagine in which reader is his long lost mate and they finally meet after centuries (after her reincarnation) please?! Thanks!

Pairing: Lee Yeon x reader (I made reader gender neutral)

Warnings: blood/gore, not completely canon to the original story, end is a bit... idk what to call it, but I hope you like it :)

When you and Yeon first met, he was recently announced as the guardian mountain spirit of Baekdudaegan (now in North Korea). He was on his usual routine on the mountain when he spotted someone. They had their back turned him, their long (h/c) covering their side profile. They were in the small river, the bottom of their clothes in the water as they seemingly searched for something. He stared at the person for a few minutes as an unexplainable feeling erupted in his body. He approached them, a fan in his hand that he waved softly. He stopped right behind them and waited.

You had gone up the mountain, having heard a rumor that the river carried beautiful crystals and gems, something you longed to see in your life. So you had climbed the mountain before spotting the river and standing in it. You saw fish swim in between your legs and smiled before crouching down, placing your hand in the river and turning some stones. You searched until you suddenly noticed a shadow looming over you. You slowly turned before jumping up, awkwardly looking away from the man that stood in front of you as he looked at you with a stern gaze.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know this mountain had a guardian." You said, stuttering while you did and flapping your hands as you tried to explain your innocence. He suddenly grabbed your hands to make you stop moving. Then it happened. Both you and Yeon felt an electric shock through your whole body and he let go off you with pained expression. He looked at his hand before looking back at you with a shocked expression.

"Who are you?" He asked and you frowned as you looked him in the eye.

"Just a villager from down the mountain, no one in particular. I just came to search for-" "Stop rambling. I just wanted your name, you mortal." He interrupted and you pouted, crossing your arms and leaning back.

"(y/n)..." You mumbled and he nodded before turning away. You frowned and followed him.

"Hey! Are you just leaving?" You exclaimed and he turned his head to you again before shrugging. You stared at him in confusion before suddenly grabbing his arm before letting go again when you felt yet another electric shock.

"Can you stop doing that?" Yeon spoke as he turned around to face you again;

"I have a question." "What is it?" He asked, clearly annoyed at you. You paid no attention to that and smiled.

"Are there really gems in the river? Or mythical creatures on the mountain?" You asked and he looked at you before rolling his eyes and turning away again.

"No and yes." He spoke and you pouted, but smiled after.

"What kind of mythical creatures?" You asked as you followed him and he turned his head again before continuing his way up. You watched him walk off.

"Are you coming then?" He spoke and you looked up with a bright smile before running to catch up with him, missing the slight smile that the male had.

Your friendship with each other bloomed and eventually bloomed into love relationship. You basically spend all of your time with him on the mountain. And then it happened. A rich man had taken an interest in you and basically kidnapped you of sorts. Yeon had quickly found you, but he was too late. You had rejected the man, offending him and losing your life quite painfully. And Yeon had to watch your death, his heart shattering into pieces as he watched your lifeless body fall to the floor, blood seeping out of your body. His title of mountain spirit was soon revoked as the rich man died 2 days later to mysterious causes (just another reason to not mess with Yeon).

For centuries, Yeon ignored everything around him as he focused on his sole job. Then, around 1370, he met you again. Same name, same face, just a slightly different personality. And then he had to watch you die once more, without even being able to talk to you. This time, you had gotten in trouble with some mafia and got in the crossfire, which resulted in you being shot multiples times. Once you had passed, Yeon was once again heartbroken, even more than before as he realized that you would keep dying young.

Another few centuries past and Yeon met you again. This time, you were still a bit younger (23 instead of you're normal age of 27) and this made Yeon have hope. He talked to you in the most cliché way possible, by dropping his coffee on your shirt and offering you to quickly shower in his house, an offer that you took. After all you had a very important meeting today and your house was too far away to change. He then offered you one of his shirts, along with his number and you then left the house, running to your job.

Meeting you again sent Yeon into cloud nine as he had to fight off the smile for the rest of day. The next time you met, was when you had called him to return his shirt.

"Thanks again." You said and he nodded at you.

"I hope I didn't ruin your interview." "Oh, no. Well' I didn't get the job, but that's because of something else, not you." You said as he took the shirt from your outstretched hand.

"So, what are you planning to do then?" He asked and you shrugged.

"No clue. That was my last option, in all honesty." You said, taking your coffee/tea in your hand and drinking from it. He nodded, trying to control his emotions as his heart hammered against his chest. Especially when you gave him a smile. You continued to talk to each other and for once you felt comfortable with him. You talked for a full hour before you left to go search for other jobs.

As you walked out, you missed Yeon's heart struck eyes and small smile. Yeah, Yeon was going to spend every living moment with you and protect you with his life.

Weeks passed and you and Yeon hung out quite a lot, and by now you had already fallen for Yeon, which was immensely obvious. Each time you met, you were shy and gibberish. And Yeon just loved it. He loved every second of it, knowing that he was the person that made you act like that. Another week passed before he asked you out, something you immediately agreed to (maybe even a little too quick).

Your first date was to Jinhae, for the cherry blossom festival. Jinhae was know for it's cherry blossoms (festival) and Yeon had chosen this for a simple reason. When you first met, back when he was a mountain spirit, your dress had a beautiful cherry blossom pattern. And apparently, your love for cherry blossoms hadn't changed as you awed at the sights.

Yeon watched as you made your way in between trees, smiling as leaves danced around you. He felt his heartrate increase again, his eyes never leaving your form and now he knew for certain.

He was never going to leave your side again and he would do anything to protect your life. Even if that meant sacrificing others...

[aetheternity]

i got a request! which i do hope you like since it took a while for me to think of ejdj:

so hc’s for Levi and/or Mikasa ahsjd

they wasn’t there to protect you. They felt so stupid and useless. They couldn’t hold in their tears. you were gone. They couldn’t hold you in their arms. He couldn’t laugh at your stupid jokes. you were the heart of the survey corps. Now that you’re gone, the survey corps went all dull and colorless. They would curl up into a ball in their bed (which Levi has for some reason idk why, and if you’re wondering, no mikasa and levi don’t share a bed wtaf👩🏼‍⚖️👩🏼‍⚖️👩🏼‍⚖️) and think about their favorite moments with you. He would remember you fall down into a hay stack and that you would immediately laugh after. They would remember you falling asleep while reading a book with them. they would remember all that. weeks go by and you were still gone. The survey corps was still colorless and dull. There were many still crying after you ‘death’. But on the 18th week you were gone. it turns out. you weren’t dead. The survey corps were on an expedition, they had no expression on their face after your ‘death’ .. they still couldn’t get over the fact that you were dead. Oh they missed you so much .. but their sadness faded when they saw you, alive, hiding in a bush. now that the survey corps has found you. There was color and happiness once again.... // i hate this plot but it was all i got

(My last two requests have been angst so I would genuinely like to ask from the bottom of my heart. Are y'all ok????)

Word of warning: Angst, Missing reader (found)

Mikasa

•She had always assumed the most painful thing in the world would be losing either Eren or Armin. (Or both!) She'd already lost her mother and father but losing you was like a whole other level of painful.

•She'd always seen life as both beautiful and cruel but right now it just felt cruel. Like someone had stripped the world of its color.

•Keeps every single thing that you've ever given her or held in her bed under her blanket so she can hold it at night in a little pile.

•Cries while rereading the last chapter you bookmarked in your favorite book that was always on her nightstand. (Definitely reads it every night before going to sleep)

•Armin and Eren's moods are also drastically effected. People you probably didn't even know were coming up to Mikasa with condolences.

•If you had a living family all of your belongings that Mikasa didn't possess would go to them. But if you didn't Mikasa would add it to the growing "shrine" for you.

•They hadn't found your body and a part of Mikasa had held on so strongly for the first couple weeks that you could be alive but the surrounding area had been titan city and they found your horse without you.

•Mikasa would retell every memory she has of you to Eren and Armin (sometimes to anyone who will listen).

•She doesn't want to look like she's dying inside but she is and literally everyone can tell. (The entire Survey Corps seems to be mourning for weeks with her.)

•When she thinks no one's paying attention or when she's alone is when she'll really give in. Hugging her knees, pretending it's you and just rocks back and forth with deep heavy sobs.

•Around week 18 when the search had been completely given up on and everyone had begun to live normally again (aside from Mikasa.) There you were, in a bush.

•Jean had been the one that found you. Breathing, slumped back against a tree and behind a bush.

•Somehow you'd survived and here you were like a mirage. Except-

•Alive.. real. So so very here.

•Mikasa was already tearing up as she pressed a finger over your pulse. Then pulled you forward into her lap. Your body a little pale, but warm.. so so warm like it'd been every night she'd ever held you.

•Remember in S1 when Mikasa was holding Eren after he emerged from the titan and she put her head up to his chest then cried as she held him? That's you and her rn.

•Girl's sobbing so loud she's attracting the other Survey Corp members that had come out beyond the walls.

•Everyone else starts to tear up too as she just rocks you and cries into your dirty shirt.

•You can bet she's not letting you go either. "We need to put them in the wagon Mikasa. They need treatment as soon as we get back." Cool. She's got you in her lap, arms around your waist.

•Over her dead body will you separate her from you especially in this state. She's combing your hair back with her fingers, placing a hand over your heartbeat and sighing sweetly as she listens to your pulse.

•Please don't take them away that's my emotional support human. 🥺

•You can bet she's gonna follow you around like she's surgically attached until she feels like you're genuinely ok and that you're not gonna leave her again.

•Know that she does it because she loves you.

Levi

•Everyone else is balling their eyes out over your death. You've even got some of the toughest looking men in the Survey Corps balling like little kids.

•He's not though.

•At least not during regular business hours.

•Alone at night in his room he's got your favorite book in his arms. Tears spilling over his cheeks with little sniffles as he holds the pillow you love alongside your book.

•He makes your favorite tea every morning and places it on your side of the table before remembering but he can never bring himself to drink it or throw it out so it just sits there till someone else gets rid of it.

•Your laugh never leaves his mind. In fact it practically haunts him. He's all alone but there's that sound. It's always you.

•He's lost so many people but the first week you were missing he refused to believe it. He's a little harsher in his words as he speaks to people for that whole week.

•You can't possibly be gone..

•He finally stops making an extra cup of tea for you and when he does the normal chores he stops saying he's doing your chores.

•To everyone else it just seemed like Captain Levi was being Captain Levi. But to Hange and Erwin they could see the slight difference. (I'm betting Erwin is the one who throws out the extra cup of tea Levi made every morning.)

•On the 18th week of you being gone a cadet comes yelling boisterously. Panting as they try to speak. "Captain! We found something!"

•When Levi sees you something swells in him. His heart is beating a mile a minute. Erwin is holding you and for a split second Levi's resolve slips and he's down on his knees next to Erwin.

•"Are-Are they?.." Erwin nods. "They're alive, Levi."

•He doesn't let you out of his sight for even a split second. He's riding a horse next to the cart you're kept in all the way back home. He's in your hospital room every free minute he has. He's fluffing your pillows every night and placing your favorite book in your arms.

•He made you tea even though you're not awake to drink it 🥺

•Holds your hand and stares at your still face for hours.

•Probably cries late at night when everyone is definitely asleep. Whispering soft, You're ok.. you're ok's Next to your ear.

•Listens to your heart beat because he'll never get tired of it.

•He's so mean once you're awake. He's probably forcing you to take on more work but know it comes from a good place.

•Don't ever do that shit again. But with his frowny pout that's too cute to look at.

•Please don't leave him again. You're one of the few things he has left.

[gashinabts]

philophobia|(m)

Words: 7.4k

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature

Summary: Taehyung, a man, who swears he’ll never fall in love meets Y/N a hopeless romantic.

Warnings: Teasing, spitting, oral (f/receiving), fingering, pussy slapping, pussy sniffing ( lmao idk if thats a thing?), squirting, sexual intercourse, mention of homophobia. Topics of child neglecting, if this makes you uncomfortable pls don’t read :) minor character death

A/N: Taehyung is a bisexual king! Tell me what you peeps think, remember that comments motivate me to continue writing!!! This is my work, no reposting this and my other works on any other platforms.

Kim Taehyung was born December 30, 1995 his father left him when he was 11 years old that is when Taehyung realized that love never lasts. His mother pretended that his father never existed, she quickly hid the family photos away, along with covering his tomato garden with dirt. Taehyung wanted to ask where he went but stopped wondering when he heard a few of his classmates whispering that Taehyung’s dad left them for a young woman in her twenties. 

As Taehyung grew into his teenage years he would often get asked out by his classmates, he wouldn’t decline, accepting the dates to see if he can ever fall foolishly in love like his Mom once did. However, nothing ever happened, he would kiss them goodnight but won’t call them the next day. In high school he lost his virginity at a party, he wasn’t nervous, just did things he’s seen in filthy pornorgraphy. The very next day the girl spread the rumor that Taehyung was a sex god, that he probably had sex everyday with a different people. Was that a compliment? He remembered thinking to himself as he sat in the back of the classroom, feeling people secretly stare at him. 

That day he met Jimin. Jimin was a popular boy that everyone swoon over. Of course he had a girlfriend, they have been dating since middle school. The guys would gawk at her when she would wear a sports bra to track practice. Taehyung was in art class sketching an apple, Jimin came over and talked to him as if they were friends. It was nice, Taehyung listened to Jimin complain about his art. When class was over, Jimin asked Taehyung to hang out with him after school. When Taehyung sat on Jimin’s bed, he looked over on the desk and saw a picture of Jimin and his girlfriend. Right next to it was a picture of what he assumed was Jimin’s family. A Mom, Dad, an older brother, and Jimin. He turned his gaze back to Jimin...who was undressing in front of him. Jimin’s underwear was the only thing on, Taehyung didn’t expect him to have lean muscles and define abs. An hour later  they were both breathless, exhausted from the sex. 

“ I’m not gay.” Jimin tells Taehyung as he cleans himself with a rag. 

“ Okay.” Taehyung shrugs and pulls his pants up. He’s watched gay porn and straight porn before and got turned on by both of them, so it doesn’t come to much of a surprise that he enjoyed the sex with Jimin. 

*******

Taehyung watches from afar when Jimin kisses his girlfriend in the school halls, wondering if that’s love. The next few months, Taehyung and Jimin fool around more. Jimin would call Taehyung over, then they would fuck and they would both be on their way. There were never conversations or pillow talks, until right now.

“ I’m gay.” Jimin confesses to Taehyung. 

“Cool.” Taehyung shrugs, looking for his shoes. 

“ That’s all your gonna say?” Jimin rolls his eyes grabbing his t-shirt wiping the come on his stomach. 

“ I’m bisexual, happy?” Taehyung looks at his phone and notices a missed call from his mother. He tucks his phone away, “ Why are you still with her? Your girlfriend.” He finally asks the question he’s been meaning to ask since the beginning.

“ I love her and I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t love her like that.” Jimin looks at the picture of them and flips it down, almost ashamed of how much of a coward he is. “ Plus my Dad would kill me if I told him I like men.” He throws his head back looking at the ceiling not wanting to cry his eyes out. 

Taehyung thinks love is complicated, he thinks people who are in love are selfish. They rather hurt themselves for the sake of love. It’s stupid he wants to tell Jimin that but he keeps quiet until Jimin looks at him with tears eyes. “ I don’t know what to say…”

“It’s fine...you don’t have to say anything just keep me company, yeah?” 

“ Okay,” Taehyung sits back on the bed watching but not really watching tv with Jimin. 

---

Taehyung’s mom was proud of him when he got accepted to a good college, she would brag to her friends and show pictures of his acceptance letters. Along with bragging how she raised Taehyung all by herself. Taehyung didn’t mind that he was in the spotlight, whatever made his mom happy he would comply with whatever she does. He was good with numbers so he was going to major in data analysis, he really wanted to major in art but his mom laughed in his face, telling him to be realistic. 

Taehyung is now in his third year of college, wanting to just graduate already, done with the shitload of classwork and long ass lectures. Just right now he just finished his homework that took him three hours. He’s about to call it a night until Jungkook barges in his room, yelling at him to get dressed for a party. Taehyung switches his dirty hoodie with a clean hoodie, opting out grey sweatpants with jeans. He keeps his glasses on, due to his eyes being tired and not wanting to irritate them with contacts. 

Jungkook hands Taehyung a drink, there’s obscene music, blunts being handed around, and people grinding on each other. “ When’s the last time you got laid?” Jungkook asked, as he took a gulp of his beer.

“ Last week...I think.” Taehyung searches through his mental sex list, but can’t seem to remember the girls face or name. He looks around and watches a couple argue with each other. The man rolls his eyes as the woman tries not to cry, the woman ends up leaving him and going upstairs.

“ Damn, lucky. I tried to hook up with this girl and she ended up leaving me hanging. Claimed that she’s not over her boyfriend, started crying on me when I was going down on her.” Jungkook cringes, sipping more alcohol. “ Be my wingman, yeah?” 

“ Sure,” Taehyung nods. Jungkook is talking to this pretty girl, and she laughs at every joke that Jungkook makes. Taehyung wasn’t even sure why he asked him to his wingman when Jungkook can easily get a girl to bed. Jungkook nods absentmindedly when Taehyung excuses himself, he wanders around the frat house looking at people getting wasted. Once he gets tired of it he goes upstairs, hoping to find solace in an empty room. He opens a bedroom door, and notices a girl with a pencil and notebook. “ My bad-,” Taehyung is about to close the door.

You look up from your sketchpad, you see a tall man with messy curls and glasses. “ You can stay,” you observe him, he looks like he was forced to come here. There’s no red solo cup in his hand, he looks like he hasn’t a good night's rest. Also why else would he look mindlessly into rooms, the bathroom doors have a handwritten sign stating ‘BATHROOM’, so he must be bored or something searching into bedrooms. “ Or don’t. I don’t care.” You watch him close the door, entering the room.

“ Is this your room?” Taehyung looks around the room, noticing posters of naked women and marvel posters. Weird combination he notes. Along with the dirty clothes scattered all over the floor. 

“ No,” you laugh. Shutting your notebook close, taking notice of his nice hands brushing his hair back. “ My friend’s room. I didn’t really feel like partying just decided to sketch,” you lift your pad up. He nods and sits on the bed.

“ Can I draw?” Taehyung points towards the sketchpad. He hasn’t drawn in months too busy in his schoolwork, his fingers would sometimes draw on foggy windows but nothing more. You nod tearing a piece of paper out and handing him a pencil, he thanks you. 

You were sneakily glancing at him, sketching him, his angular jaw, messing hair, uneven eyelid, long eyelashes. Getting lost at his elegant features, wondering if he knows how beautiful he looks. You shake your head for easily fawning over this man. His hands are even beautiful, they travel across the paper gracefully with each stroke. You turn your eyes away when he makes eye contact with you, cheeks getting warm. “ What’s your name?” You ask while shading the contours of his cheeks.

“ Taehyung.” He folded his paper into a small square, putting it into his pocket. “ Yours?”

“ Y/N,” you smile.

---

“ Did you get laid yesterday night?” Jungkook is shirtless with scratch marks behind his back, there’s a couple of hickies on his neck.

Taehyung takes a sip of his tea before answering, “No, just talking to some girl. Her name is Y/N.” 

“ Y/N. She’s a nice girl. One time I forgot a scantron for class and she gave me one. She’s also friends with Namjoon.” Jungkook pours himself coffee sitting next to Taehyung. “ Are you interested in her?”

Taehyung would be lying if said he wasn’t interested in you. When he entered the room he thought you were pretty and had a kind smile. “ Maybe...why?” 

“ It’s best if you don’t try to get at her. Y/N looks the type to fall in love easily.” Jungkook sighs cracking his back on the back of the chair, groaning at his achy body. Taehyung wonders how can someone fall in love easily, he’s not one to believe in love at first sight or any kind of stuff in that realm. “ Alright, I’m gonna take a quick shower and then we can leave.” 

Taehyung and Jungkook are at the library studying or trying to study, Jungkook is texting someone the whole time instead of studying for his macroeconimics test. While Taehyung is playing video games on his phone. “ Hey guys! Didn’t know you actually study Jungkook,” Namjoon jokes, ruffling Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook rolls his eyes pushing his hand off his head mumbling curse words at him. Taehyung looks to the side of Namjoon and notices you laughing as the scene unfolds. You’re carrying ice americanos and Jungkook immediately takes it out of the carrier, thanking you. 

You look at Taehyung placing one in front of him, “ I didn’t know what kind of coffee you liked.” Taehyung is wearing similar clothing to what he wore at the party, mostly muted green colors and his circle glasses, his hair is pushed back with a headband. He looks surprised to see you, but nevertheless thanks you for the coffee. The conversations between Jungkook and Namjoon get more serious when they finally decide to study for their materials. You try to study but you want to talk to Taehyung wanting to get to know him more, you nudge your foot against his leg. He looks up, looking at you in question, you nod your head towards the exit entrance, he nods slowly unsure to what you're up to but following your lead. Jungkook and Namjoon are too invested in their studying to see you and Taehyung leave. “ Do you wanna go to my apartment?”

“ Sure,” Taehyung shrugs. The apartment was small and kind of messy, you try to hurry up and toss some of the paintbrushes in the sink. There’s water cups filled with murky colors, and paint marks on the tables, he’s not used to a sight like this. In his apartment it is always clean and tidy, not a dirty plate in sight. “ You live by yourself?” he asked, placing his stuff on the table. 

“ Yeah, my roommate moved four months ago with her boyfriend.” You give up cleaning the mess since there’s too much to clean. “ Want some-” You are interrupted when you feel Taehyung’s lips on your, your hands push his chest flustered at the sudden kiss.

“ I-I- sorry...I must have read something wrong,” he looks embarrassed immediately backing up giving you space. “ I thought you invited me to your apartment for sex.” Taehyung notices how your eyes widen, fuck he feels like an ass, scared that he made you uncomfortable. “ I should go…” he goes to pick up his bags ready to bolt out.

“ I just wanted to talk...to get to know you better,” you speak before his hands grab the doorknob. “ We can paint and talk, if that's okay with you?” 

“ Are you sure? You don’t want me to leave?” 

“ Stay.” You go to the sink to wash your dirty brushes. 

Taehyung sits down looking at the wall, notices a canvas of a man, he has plump lips, gentle eyes, overall he is beautiful, something that seemed out of this world. Maybe it was the way it was painted that made it appear like that. “ You painted that?” Taehyung speaks shifting his gaze to you.

You look at where Taehyung was pointing at, it was the painting of your ex boyfriend, “ Yeah, that’s my ex boyfriend, Seokjin. The professor told us to paint the definition of love…,” you stare at Seokjin’s face, remembering the memories you shared. The brushes are all cleaned and you set them down, grabbing some water colors that are in the cabinet. 

“ Do you still love him?” Taehyung curiously asked, watching carefully at your reaction.

There’s a slight pain of thinking about him, truly not over his death. “ Yeah I’ll always have love for him…” 

Taehyung wants to ask more about him but doesn’t want to intrude, he doesn’t say anything else but paints. This is when Taehyung feels like he’s truly being himself painting, expressing himself without saying anything. Moments like these wish Taehyung would’ve chosen doing what he has a passion for insteading appealing to his mothers standards. 

“ Why are you a data analysis major?” The artwork he is doing is remarkable, there’s dark undertones and eerie about it but it is beautiful something that you have to keep staring at.

He chuckles, “ Because I need to eat.” You look down feeling a little insulted he must've noticed since he immediately apologizes. 

“ It’s okay. You know if you ever want to relax and paint, you can come here,” you continue painting small flowers. The first time, he smiles and nods his head.

---

5 months later

This is the third flower shop visited and he’s getting more tired with each second. “ This arrangement or this one?” You ask Taehyung, as you hold two bouquets. One was more filled with carnations and the other was filled with lilies. He gives it some thought before pointing at the carnations. “ This would be pretty to paint,” you smell it getting happy inside.

“ Finally, when can we eat...I didn't eat anything this morning,” his stomach growls at the thought of food. He’s still carrying the vases you bought at the thrift shop, you had to plead with you to not buy another antique mirror because he knows he would have to carry it to the apartment.

You gave the cashier the money, as he wraps the flowers in newspaper, turning your head you look at Taehyung, “ Why did you come with me if you were going to complain the whole time?” You laugh at his scrunched nose as you pinch it. The flowers are handed back and you thank the cashier, leaving with Taehyung.

“ Because I wanted to,” Taehyung shrugs. In your apartment he puts the flowers away as you cook him food, he always enjoys your cooking. When he was younger all he ever ate was ramen, never really ate some home cooked meals, his mother was always busy working trying to financially support the family so he never once asked his mom for dinner. Even at his own apartment he doesn’t eat Jungkook’s food since he doesn’t know how to cook either. Sometimes when he’s hungry he’ll just come to your apartment and you’ll be more than happy to cook for him.

When Taehyung enters his apartment Jungkook is watching anime, foot propped on the table and sipping some beer. “ Back from your girlfriends’ so soon?” 

“ Not my girlfriend but yeah, I left my schoolwork here so I had to come back,” he sighs. Taehyung doesn’t get mad when Jungkook teases him about you being his girlfriend, but he sometimes gets annoyed. He likes the friendship between the two of you, it’s different from any other friendships he had in the past. “ Tomorrow night the apartment is mine. This guy wants to hangout with me.”

“ Just say he wants to fuck you,” Jungkook yells as Taehyung closes his bedroom door. 

---

You meet Taehyung at the park with some bread, he hugs you and asks about your day. “ It was okay. Had lunch with my Dad, but it always ends up in some lecture. I swear, sometimes it feels like I’m fifteen or something,” you tear a piece of bread throwing it into the pond watching some ducks gobble it. You try to look at Taehyung but it hurts when you see some hickies on his neck. On the day you were about to confess your feelings to Taehyung you asked him if he ever loved someone, he laughed and said that he doesn’t believe in no such thing as love. As much as you wanted to disapprove of that idea, you couldn’t be the one to change it.

He grabs some bread, chucking some pieces out, “ What was the argument?”

You laugh thinking about your Dad’s red face, “ I invited him to my apartment, and he found the blunt we smoked together in the ashtray.”

“ Shit, I should’ve thrown it away,” Taehyung laughs too, pushing some of his hair back. 

“ Just glad he didn’t find any of my sex toys,” you cringe just thinking about it. You feel something tugging the end of your skirt, looking down you see a toddler smiling cheekily pointing at the bread. You smile, “ Here, have fun,” you hand him the rest of your bread. You watch him wobble as he runs to his mother throwing the whole slice in the water. 

“ Sex toys?” Taehyung asked once the child was out of sight. “ Like what?,” Taehyung is interested, he doesn’t know, maybe because he can’t imagine you using them. Or he wants to know how you use it. There were times when Taehyung wanted to have sex with you but he turned those urges off. He doesn’t want to give you mixed signals remembering Jungkook’s words of advice. “ Never-”

“ A dildo, vibrator, hitachi wand, or even my favorite pillow,” you trail off not thinking much until you realize who you are confessing to. “ I-I uh…”

“ How often?,” Taehyung asked quietly, not wanting any other people hearing the conversation. He shouldn’t get turned on but he is.

Something about Taehyung’s deep quiet voice is making you squeeze your thighs, “ Every night…” You're still looking at the pond, watching the ripples that are caused by the ducks swimming away. You can feel Taehyung's stare but you ignore it. The conversation switches to another topic when you talk about your school work. The sun sets and you both part ways.

The sound of tea kettle wakes you up from your concentration of you sketching, sighing you pour yourself the tea. Looking at your art, you turn it over not wanting to see Taehyung’s face right now. But fate has different plans when you hear knocking on the door, Taehyung appears, he lets himself in and is close to your face.

“ Taehyung?” You’re puzzled at his frazzled state, deeply staring into your eyes. 

“ Can I kiss you?” The words are quiet but firm. Stupidly you nod, not caring about any consequences. His hands cup your face, immediately going into the kiss. The kisses get deeper, his hands travel to your hips bringing you closer to him quickly, you lose friction from the fluffy socks you're wearing causing you to slip, immediately grabbing Taehyung as you fall backwards. His hands are quick to save himself from not falling onto you. There’s a slight pain on your tailbone but is immediately forgotten when Taehyung goes back to kissing you.

The big t-shirt you are wearing is tossed, his hands immediately fondle your breast, his lips leaving kisses on your neck, groaning as he pushes his bulge against your clothed core. “ Taehyung...let me touch you,” you moan when he bites your neck. He pulls back, pecking your lips before taking off his clothes. Your hands trail against his chest, his stomach, towards his pelvic, trying to remember every part of him. He is surprised to have you touching him like he was some marvel statue, usually his past hookups just rush into the sex. It’s very intimate and he doesn’t know how to feel about it.

 Taehyung groans when you touch his dick, he’s hard and wants to be inside of you already. He comes down kissing you, his hands get rid of your panties, fingers spreading your wetness. The moans you let out are turning him on even more, he stretches you out with his fingers. He likes the way your eyes flutter, the shape of your lips tremble, along with your chest inhaling and exhaling deeply. “ You are so pretty,” he doesn’t mean to say it loudly but he does. There’s a blush that blooms on your cheeks, it reminds him of the flowers you would get to study paint.

“ Taehyung,” you moan slightly flustered at his compliment. He reaches for his pants grabbing a condom. “ You don’t want to go to the bedroom?” The floor is still cold against your back, and the last time you cleaned the floor was days ago. 

Taehyung shakes head, already putting on the condom not wanting to waste time, “ Too far,” he smiles when you laugh. He enters you feeling you clench tightly around, he moans digging his head into your neck. “ You are so tight,” he groans. “ Feels so fucking good, having you like this,” he confesses.

You moan loudly, his thick cock streching “ Oh fuck, Taehyung, please just fuck me,” your hands go to his waist urging him to move. He listens to your command, thrusting slowly trying to get deep as he can. Maybe if you can close your eyes you can pretend that he’s in love with you. He goes faster and cries at the pace he’s going, the pleasure is overwhelming, something that you can’t get with your own hands. “ I’m close already,” your hand goes to tug at his wavy hair.

“ Me too,” his voice is deeper. His hand travels down to your pussy searching for your clit and rubbing it. “ Come for me,” he says into your ear. You moan his name loudly, cumming around his cock, scratching his back. The sight of you creaming around him makes him immediately come, he searches for your lips, moaning your name in the kiss. The two of you lay in the afterglow of the sex, panting loudly his body is barely being hold up, and you laying on the hard floor.

Taehyung gets up throwing his condom away, he looks at you still laying on the floor with your eyes close, the realization of him having sex with you just popped up. He hurriedly gets dressed, then helps you get dressed, he gets shocked when you kiss him as a thank you. The next morning Taehyung wakes up early, making sure to leave quietly, not wanting to disrupt your sleep.

---

You weren’t going to lie, it kind of hurt not waking up beside Taehyung but you shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up. Namjoon invites you to a kick back, only inviting a few people to his house to chill and drink. You take solace on the couch, watching people get high and drunk, you weren’t in the mood to do either so you make conversation with a slightly high Hoseok. He’s in mid-discussion about Shrek being a cinematic masterpiece, when Jungkook yells from the door entrance that he has Taco Bell. Taehyung is beside him wearing all black beanie, crewneck, and sweatpants, but still looks better than half of the people here.

 You turn your gaze back to Hoseok who’s left walking towards Jungkook immediately grabbing a taco. Sighing you decide to get fresh air, staring at the tall dark buildings. “ Whatcha you doing here by yourself? It’s fucking freezing,” Taehyung speaks out closing the slider door standing by you. He takes off his vape pen inhaling it.

“ Wanted fresh air,” you shrug, still staring at the buildings. “ Hoseok left me for tacos. He was onto something, saying that Shrek is a masterpiece. Who knows maybe he’ll write his thesis about it.” Taehyung chuckles, he keeps looking at you and you finally stare at him. “ Why’d you kiss me yesterday?”

He blows out the smoke, and puts his pen away, “ Cuz I wanted to,” he shrugs not thinking much about it. 

“ Nothing else?” You arch your eyebrow.

He continues to stare into your eyes “ Nope,” he shakes his head.  

Some part of you wanted him to say that he had feelings for you but in the back of your mind you knew that wasn’t going to happen. You smile pushing his chest, “ Well that’s the last time we are ever going to do anything like that.” The both of you know that is a lie.

---

For the next couple of months you and Taehyung continue sleeping with each other.

When you are studying with Namjoon in the library, Jungkook and Taehyung spontaneously show up, causing Namjoon to groan. “ You know you love me,” Jungkook jokingly says sitting next to him. 

Taehyung sits down next to you, looking at your classwork, “ How long have you been studying,” he whispers. 

You turn to look at the time of your phone, “ Like four hours,” you sigh. He hands you a jolly rancher, you immediately put in your mouth. “ Why are you here? You texted me that you were going to take a fat ass nap?”

“ I wanted to see you, kind of missed you,” he lays his head against the table. His eyes close when you brush his soft hair. 

“ I’ll be done in forty minutes.” He lets off a quiet okay continuing to look at you doing your work. 

Taehyung wakes up to you caressing his cheek, his neck is in pain from the awkward position he slept in. “ Where did Jungkook and Namjoon go?,” he looks at the empty seats. He tries to crack his neck and watches you pack your stuff.

“ They left about twenty minutes ago,” you get up stretching your legs. “ Let’s head home. We still have left over pizza,” you groan at the pain on your lower back. 

For some odd reason Taehyung liked hearing you say home, there’s some comfort it gives him but he never says it out loud. Taehyung grabs your backpack, holding it for you as you walk towards your car. You look in the fridge for the pizza, but Taehyung has other plans when he closes the fridge door, pinning you against it kissing you feverishly, his tongue already begging for entrance. Laughing you push him away, “ What’s gotten into you?”

“ I told you...I miss you,” his hands are on your waist. He kisses you again, picking you up easily and placing you on the kitchen table. He takes off your pants and panties, and you reach for his pants but he stops you forcing you to lie completely on the table. “ Look at you, laying so pretty on the table,” he bends down kissing you on your lips before he goes down on you. 

He licks your cunt, gently prodding his tongue up and down. Your hips move frantically wanting to feel more of him. His rough hands pin your hips, and he continues with his teasing, lightly kissing your clit before touring you with his slow pace.  “ Look at your pussy, it looks like the roses you painted yesterday…,” his finger goes up and down your folds.

The words make your cheeks grow hot, “ No it doesn’t,” you get shy shaking your head. The embarrassment fills your body, for maybe shamelessly liking his compliment. You are probably never going to look at roses the same way ever again.

“ Yeah, it does Y/N, but your pussy is more pretty,” he continues to tease you. Wanting to see you get more flustered, he likes it when you do it gets him more turned on. “ I wonder if it smells like roses too,” he’s about to smell your pussy but you hold his head. He watches you cutely shake your head. 

Taehyung is filthy but it makes you get even more aroused. “ It won’t,” you whisper, wanting to cry but he shakes his kissing the inside of your thigh to try to comfort you. 

He smells your pussy and he groans, your heart thumps faster and nervous for what's about to say, “ It smells better,” he kisses your clit. His tongue keeps tracing your folds gently wanting to make you beg for more. The movement of his tongue makes you want to pull your own hair out. The pleasure is barely there but it grows within each second of his tongue flicking up and down.

“ Taehyung,” you let out desperate whine, “ please, I need more.” One of his hands slap your cunt, and your back arches surprise but even more turned on. You never knew that you were into that. The sting hurts at first but shoots up ecstasy after a nanosecond, you can’t help but seek more. “ More!” 

Taehyung lets out a dark chuckle, he gives you another slap, slightly harder on the center of your clit, the stinging making your face scrunch up but letting out a lewd moan. He groans at your wetness seeping out some of it landing on the table.

Suddenly, he is done with all the teasing, and dives in, nose touching your clit and tongue inside your entrance going in and out. Finding it extremely hot that you are riding his face, like the pillow on your bed. Taehyung vividly remembers when you showed him how you ride your pillow last week. The way you desperately let out cute whines trying so hard to relieve yourself as Taehyung only watched, wanting to see you get off without his help. 

He moves his face side to side so his nose can rub your clit. Head in the clouds, your body is floating with ecstasy wanting to stay in it forever. Your hands reach down trying to anchor yourself, Taehyung reaches for your hand holding it tight. You cry out his name loudly, coming intensely, your eyes are shut when it doesn’t seem to stop. Your body finally calms down, looking down you see Taehyung’s face is completely wet. “ Oh my god, did I-

“ Fuck, that was hot,” Taehyung wipes his face with the back his arm. He kisses your lips, he helps you from the table, handing you your panties. 

“ Let me repay you?,” you tug at his belt loop, you look down to see the bulge is gone and there’s a wet stain. Your eyes widen, “ Did you come?”

“ Yeah, you squirting on me, made me bust a nut. I swore I never came that hard either,” he sighs happily. Laughing you go towards the fridge, finally eating the cold pizza. You hand him one and he eats it in two bites. “ My mom called me today…”

Taehyung hardly talks about his family, you only know that he was raised only by his mother. He never talked bad about her but you can tell that they didn’t have a close  relationship. “ What happened?” You and Taehyung move so you're sitting on the couch.

“ She told me that my father wanted to meet up with me,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “ Told her that I don’t want to. She started crying and telling me that he’s my father...I sometimes think she’s still in love with him. She’s an idiot.” He lays his back staring at the ceiling.

“ Sometimes it’s hard to get over someone that you once loved. The one you shared your laughs, arguments, touches, memories...vanish into thin air... or you could hold onto it. Love isn’t easy...it’s messy, it’s confusing but it’s beautiful being able to share it with someone. Don’t you think?” You look at Taehyung’s side profile.

Taehyung turns his head looking at you, “ I don’t know...I will never fall in love. I don’t want to end up like my parents,” he closes his eyes.

“ Taehyung-“

He opens his eyes smiling, grabbing your hands, “ Let’s head to bed,” already over the conversation. 

---

Jungkook is cooking breakfast and almost burns his hand when a random girl walks out of Taehyung’s room. Immediately she exits their apartment, doing the walk of shame. Taehyung walks out shirtless with hickies on his chest and dishevelled hair. Jungkook clears his throat, “ Thought you were seeing Y/N,” he turns off the stove.

Taehyung grabs a glass of water, “ We are just friends,” he takes several gulps.

Jungkook scoffs rolling his eyes at his friend’s stupidity, “ Yeah, friends who have sex, hold hands, and almost spend every night together. My bad I forgot they changed the definition of ‘friends’ in the Webster dictionary.”

“ Whatever man...I'm out of here,” Taehyung leaves the kitchen going to his room. He looks at himself in the mirror, disgusted at his appearance, at the splotchy marks on his neck. Why am I like this? Taehyung leaves his apartment ignoring Jungkook, entering your apartment with his set of keys. He looks at you cooking pancakes, you look at him quickly and smiling.

“ Hey...you want some? It’s your favorite banana pancakes,” you flip the pancake. He looks at the big stack of pancakes you have on the table, you continue with the last couple of pancakes and sit down taking a couple of bites. You are consumed by the taste, not really focusing on Taehyung until he clears his throat, looking at him you notice marks on his neck. Your heart plummets, you thought the whole time the two of you have been messing around he wasn’t seeing anyone else. “ You hooked up with someone else yesterday?,” you set your utensils down.

Taehyung nods trying to look nonchalant, “ Yeah, is that a problem?” 

“ No,” you try to lie to yourself but it’s no use, your face looks the opposite of how you feel, disheartening, you can’t save face even if your life's on the line. Swallowing hard you shake your head, “ Actually, yes. It is a problem,” you sigh. “ I don’t understand you. You treat me like a lover, but then you do things like this…” you get up from the kitchen table tossing the plates in the sink, not caring that you didn’t finish the meal, “ I open my heart with you but you don’t do the same. I feel used in this relationship or whatever the hell this is,” your hands clenched tightly as you turn around and face Taehyung.

He’s now by the kitchen counter standing up, “ I told you I’m not looking for love. I’m sorry if I gave you mixed feelings but I don’t want this to end whatever we have with each other. I like how things are-”

You scoff, rolling your eyes at his words, “ Well I don’t...if you want to fuck around then do it... I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore.” The angry tears stream down your face, your hands wipe them before he could, “ Go Taehyung. I wish you the best,” his face is etched with subtle pain, turning away from him you wash the dishes not bothering to look at the sound of him leaving.

---

Three days later

Taehyung hasn’t been sleeping well, tossing and turning, giving up completely and decides to study all night long. This has been a daily occurrence since the fight with you. I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore. Taehyung groans, wanting to get the image of you out of his brain. Jungkook knocks on his door, eyes widening at the sight of him, “ You look like shit, c’mon Namjoon is having another get together.”

When Taehyung shows up to the party he watches you have a conversation with Hoseok, from a far distant, unsure how you would react if you saw him. Taehyung waits till Hoseok leaves, walking towards you as you are on your phone texting someone. He watches you jolt as he calls your name. “ Hey,” you greet him but there’s no smile or warmth like you usually greet. And he hates it, it makes him feel like a stranger.

“ About the last time, I’m sorry that we got into an argument,” Taehyung apologizes, he tucks his hands in his pockets, a nervous tick he developed when he was elementary. 

“ Ok,” you nod your head, not wanting to discuss something so private in a social setting. “ I should get going, I got a research paper to go over,” you give him one last glance and leave, not saying goodbye to anyone else.

Taehyung doesn’t like the way your back faces him, leaving him all alone with a place full of people. He pushes against people not wanting to let you go so easily, he wants to talk to you, he wants to hear you talk. He wants to lay in your bed and listen to your heart beat while you stroke his hair, letting him fall asleep in your arms. You're opening your car door, and you halt when he calls your name, you wait patiently for what he’s going to say. Please stay.  “ I-I uh...I wish you the best, Y/N” Taehyung says. He watches you give him one last small smile and drive away. 

---

Six months later

Taehyung hates visiting his mother, there’s always something unsettling when he enters his childhood home. As soon as greets his mother she comments about his weight, his slightly long wavy hair, and baggy clothes. She doesn’t ask him college, she never does. Instead he listens to her talk about her work. “ I told your father that you're in town,” she says over the sound of the faucet. Taehyung nods, handing her the dirty dishes, “ I told him you are free tomorrow, you are going to visit him at IHOP,” she leaves no room for argument. 

The sun wakes up Taehyung before his alarm does, he doesn’t really put in effort to look nice but when his mother gives him a look, he changes into something more appropriate. Maybe if Taehyung was in middle school he would be nervous meeting his father but now that he’s an adult he couldn’t care less. It takes him a while to find his father, he looks older from his adolescent years, has a few gray hairs and slightly wrinkled skin. His father stands up, and Taehyung immediately holds his hand out giving him a handshake not wanting to receive an awkward hug. His father looks surprised but compiles, awkwardly laughing and sits down taking a gulp of his hot black coffee. “ I ordered your favorite,” his father points to the triple drizzle chocolate milkshake with a red cherry on top that is set in front of Taehyung. “ How are you kiddo? You look so grown up, your mother has been feeding you well, huh?”

“ Yup.” Taehyung looks at the red cherry. 

There’s too much uncomfortable tension, and his father is letting more awkward coughs to try to fill the silence. “ Almost done with college, yeah? Just three more months, and you gotta face the real world,” his father comments.

Taehyung has been facing the real world since he was a teenager, he worked when he was in highschool to pay for college, he cooked his own dinner because his mother always came home late, he didn’t need to graduate college to find out the world was shitty. “ Yeah.”

His father tries really hard to have some sort of conversation with his son.“ You still like to paint?”

Taehyung smiles, getting reminded of you. He wonders what you are doing right now, if you are painting the canvas he bought you when you guys were friends. “ No. I mean yeah, sorta. I painted with this girl, she made me fall back in love with painting but I did something horrible to her. Now I can’t paint without thinking about her,” he sighs. 

There’s surprise etched on his father’s face, since more than a word came out of his son’s mouth. “ Seems like a very important person to you. You should talk things out with her, don’t want to lose someone like that.” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes, “ Why? You did the same thing to us.”

“ Taehyung-”

“ You really fucked me up father, I hate that you and mom made me this way. I want to love her but I’m scared...what if she ends up leaving me like you did. I rather be alone for the rest of my life than to have someone steal a part of me,” Taehyung grits his teeth.

“ I-I I’m sorry Taehyung...I really am. I hate myself everyday for not visiting you, I should’ve been there for you...Your mother and I once loved each other but sometimes people fall out of love, but that doesn’t mean love is evil. Don’t give up on love because of our failed marriage, son, you deserve to be in love.”

---

One week later

“ Fuck, watch where you going asshole,” you yell at the asshole who wasn’t paying attention that made you drop all of your art supplies. He doesn’t even bother apologizing, just continues to walk with his friends. You pick up your pencils, someone helps you pick up your other materials. “ Thank-” you stop midway when your eyes are met with Taehyung. He hands you the sketchpads, you quickly put it in your bag, “ Thanks.”

“ No problem. You just got out of class?,” he asked intently looking at you.

His hair is pushed back by his headband, showing his forehead, he’s wearing his usual baggy grandpa clothes. It makes your heart flutter, but you quickly push the feeling away. “ Yeah, but I have to go back to pick up my two pieces,” you shrug. 

“ You need a hand?” He offers with a careful smile.

You contemplate, you don’t want to make two trips, “ If you’re not busy…”

He eagerly shakes his head. “ I’m not, let me help.” Taehyung follows you to the art room, and picks up the pieces easily despite it being large canvases. There’s silence when you are done putting it in your car. 

“ Thank you,” you give him a grateful smile. “ Do you need to ride home?”

Taehyung took his car to campus but he lies, he accepts your offer in hopes that you guys can talk things over. The radio is on low, and Taehyung is almost near his apartment, “ I lied I don’t need a ride,” he starts off and you let out a surprise laugh.

“ Why are you just telling me now?,” you are about two minutes from the destination. 

“ I wanted to talk to you about what happened to us-”

You sigh, not wanting to reopen bandage wounds on your heart, “ Taehyung, I’m over it-” 

His head turns to face you, “ I love you. I think I always loved you since we became friends. I was scared to tell you because it was something so new for me...I was selfish, I thought that everything we had was fine but I never took your feelings into consideration.” He’s breathing really hard because he finally confessed his heart out, something he vowed he’ll never do since he was a child. 

“ Why? Why now?,” you swallow hard, not looking at him but only the road. Scared that if you look into his eyes, you’ll get lost into them. 

“ It took me a while to come in terms with how I am feeling. Because love is messy right?,” his voice cracks.

The car is now parked in his driveway, “ Yeah, it is.” Turning to finally face him, he has little tears in his eyes that haven’t fallen. “ I still love you, Taehyung,” your hand touches his soft cheek, caressing it. Taehyung leans closer to you and you close your eyes expecting a kiss, instead he sobs against your neck. Feeling wet tears against your neck, you try to coddle him but the tight space in the car is not giving you any room to do so. “ Tae, why are you crying?,” you comb the back of his curls.

Taehyung pulls away giving you a tearful smile, “ Because for the first time in my life I know what love is.”

end.

[officialgritty]

Sometimes I ask myself

How much could the NHL handle? What would they do if I, Zoe, had the opportunity to become a GM of my own team?

Another short essay by officialgritty. Here is the masterlist, it would be best to read them in order!

The Drafting Process

First of all, I’ll only accept picks for even numbers besides 7, 13 and 69. Odd numbers can choke. 

I hate public speaking so I would nominate my assistant (still have not decided on one so feel free to send your applications into my DMs) to call out our picks. It’s probably the smartest decision considering I mumble a lot and have an accent so no ones names would be pronounced correctly anyway. 

Personally I would like to draft one (1) beer league player. I think they could really get the team riled up, maybe even rack up some decent penalties for other teams by instigating. 

“The Vermont Villains would like to select... big boy INSERT NAME.” - Assistant

“The Vermont Villains would like to select... string bean INSERT NAME.” - Assistant

“The Vermont Villains would like to select... sorry the mic cut out, after this can we have an intermission? I’m starving. Oh, we pick twinkle toes INSERT NAME.” - Me 

General Rules / Other

There are no Capricorn’s to be allowed within management or on the team besides me. I was going to say, “I’m sorry I don’t make the rules,” but I quite literally do. 

I am banning Crosby and MacKinnon from ever joining the team. In fact, when they visit for games the staff will ‘decorate’ a stall for them in particular. 

I will be starting a petition for teams to be allowed 5 non-forfeit forfeits, meaning you get 5 chances to say, “No I don’t want to play that team today.” Both teams get no points though. It’s almost like a mental health day and I think that's neat. 

The Team

(art via @chaos-hockey, please check out their account!)

The Vermont Villains are based in Vermont obviously, because there’s not a whole lot happening there. What even is Vermont for?

The team slogan is one everyone should be familiar with:

“No whole body, no murder.”

Our team intro song as players step out onto the ice is Be Prepared from The Lion King.

Our goal horn is someone sneezing, the audience will be sprayed with a light mist of sea water for effect. 

Our team song played when we win will be Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant.

As for team rivals, we have @chaos-hockey​‘s creation the Insert Team Heres. They seem so sweet, I think the Villains would have a great time messing with them. I also believe we would have some beef with the Penguins, I don’t really have a reason for it, I just feel it deep in my gut. Maybe they get their knickers in a twist because we keep stealing their good stuff idk.

Mascot

The mascot wears a neon ski mask that changes based on the team’s choice in jersey. His name is Monday, because he’s always creeping up on you and causing mayhem through the grandstands. He has a water pistol attached to a tool belt, what's the tool belt for? No one ever truly knows until it’s too late. 

Gritty and Monday would get along like a house on fire.

Uniform

(art via @chaos-hockey, please check out their account!)

You may notice the presence of three jersey’s and think to yourself, “Oh there's a home, away and an alternate.” Wrong. We have two home jerseys and an alternate. 

On Wednesday’s we wear pink. Seriously. This jersey is only to be worn on Wednesday games.

All of the jerseys have players names written on the back but it’s only in a script font so it’s hard to read. Announcers will be confused, players will be confused but fans won’t be because they are used to it by now.

All of their numbers are written out in Roman numerals.

Each season the team colours change (besides pink Wednesdays). Why? Because I don’t like commitment. We would make hella money on limited time merch too.

Speaking of merch, every player will need to design a pair of crocs for fans to purchase as merch. This is not limited to the players, management must also participate. Yes, you can buy the George from Statistics crocs. I really just want my own crocs and to not be judged for it.

“I’ll take one of the Zoe crocs please!” - A fan

Now we can’t limit the uniform just to the team, I’ll show up to games rocking a power suit Michelle Obama inauguration style. Always in the same colour as the team jersey for that night. Yes, we are implying that I am Gritty.

“I want them to fear me but also want to fuck me.” - Me

(art via @chaos-hockey, please check out their account!)

For all working, team socks must be worn when entering the practise and game facilities. A sock check will be conducted at security. We will not let anyone in if they are not wearing Team Socks™️

(art via @chaos-hockey, please check out their account!)

You may be wondering about the away jersey still but don’t fret. We get to the arena early and steal the other team’s clothes. Some end up in their suits, some in their away jerseys and some are left shirtless. Whatever we can or cannot find before puck drop. 

Arena

The arena won’t be boring that's for sure. 

Out the front we have a massive V sign, just like how you see a McDonald’s sign from so far away, you’ll know when you get close to the arena.

Instead of stairs, each seating section has a harness that you get hooked up to for when you want to change levels. And each time that you want to get down, there’s a swirly slide.

Music played will be my favourite mashups from the YouTube account William Maranci to psych out competitors. Here is a link to one of my personal favourites:

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Obviously the team will need to listen to these before they are played for the first time to desensitise them. This will be done at the monthly team Disco.

During the intermission, all the lights in the main area will be turned off. Unofficial nap time my friends.

The menu consists of mutton, bagels on a stick, your choice of charcuterie board, fairy bread and fairy floss. For drinks you can either have carrot juice, Corona beer (we have a brand deal with them) or black tea with no milk.

In conclusion, it’s a good thing that I don’t have a lot of money and/or power, the NHL would hate me because they ain’t me and I have too many good ideas in my brain.

Thank you so sticking through it for this long, here’s all my love and affection 😘🥰❤️

Once again a big thank you to @chaos-hockey for bringing my ideas to fruition. Also thank you to Mik for encouraging this whole concept in our messages ❤️

Here is a part 2!

Tagging some of my mutuals/favourite accounts (please don't feel pressured to interact with this if it isn't your thing, I won't be offended): 

@scheifefe @nikolajehlers @kempe @bowenbyram @d00dlebob @travisgermy @ifiwasshawnmendesidslapmyself @dmonchld @kiedhara @sortagaysortahigh @matthewthotchuk @babytkachuks @bricksatlandyswindow @canadianheaters @youngbeezersmixtape @pitoftrash @perpetually-anxious @kspitehockey

Sorry if I’ve forgotten anyone, I didn’t want to tag every single person I follow 💀