#i just want to cry myself to sleep
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#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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'When', not 'if'
("I'm not a romantic" I cry and scream before dropping the most sickening thing i've written to date. Blame @stunie because i did tell her i would write the most ume thing ever and maybe this is it. The title in my docs for it is 'Fucking disgusting' but i figured i better not title it that here because I'd be seeing it in my notifs lmaoo)
SFW/no cw unless you hate fluff
When you wake up from your nap, one of your slippers is gone, and there's a blanket on you that wasn't there prior. Looking at the clock, it's been about an hour since everyone had left your apartment once your birthday party ended. The day as a whole had been chaotic, your boyfriend shoving you out the door with a note to go see Kotoha.
The note took you farther than that, though, as it seemed Umemiya created a whole scavenger hunt for your birthday that had you running into all of your friends, having dessert at your favorite cafe, and eventually ending up at your shared apartment to find that all that time spent around town was a distraction so that he could set up the space for your party. After it had ended, you were banished to the couch because princesses aren't allowed to help clean up their own birthday parties, which had you huffing and falling face down into the chicken shaped pillow affectionately called Mr.Clucky.
It was a product of your boyfriend's endless cycle of hobbies when he took up sewing. A little lopsided and overfilled with stuffing, you complained to and into Mr.Clucky with your face pressed into him. Apparently, he was soft enough to fall asleep on because before you knew it, you had been drooling on him the entire hour. Prying yourself off the couch took more effort than was almost worth it before your eyes fell on the reason you were so tired to begin with.
Hajime smiles and hums looking at your bleary eyes. "Good morning sunshine, I was just about to take you to bed," he says, folding a dish towel over a chair. You toss off the blanket and grab on the slipper that fell under the living room table before padding up to him. Dipping your hands under both of his arms to lock them together behind him, now your face is in his chest instead of the chicken, which is entirely preferred.
"Don't wanna go to bed just yet," you muffle, sinking even deeper into him when both of his arms wrap around you in support. He smells like dish soap and birthday cake, and you turn your head to hear the heartbeat in his chest.
"What do you wanna do lovey? You know I'd give you the world if you asked," you can hear the rumble of his voice in his chest with your pressed ear. He's cheesy, but half asleep, you feel just as much, if not cheesier.
"I have the world if I have you, they're one in the same. So just you is more than fine." Your eyes are closed, but you feel him shiver a little. "I wanna dance with you, though," you say, voice still soft and kinda raspy from sleep.
"Dunno if I can top what you just said even when I propose," he chokes out a laugh, or at least you think it's one. He shifts his hold a bit and starts leading you both in a lazy sway that starts near the toaster and ends next to the potted plant at the back door before starting over.
"When? Not if?" You tease him, a hand going to scratch the nape of his neck lightly.
"I'll never meet another you, so I'm pretty set on When."
"I'll say yes." Because you will. You can't imagine a life where you wouldn't.
"And I'll still cry when you do." You can tell he's crying now because it comes out shaky and his hold tightens a bit, before you lean back, stopping your impromptu waltz. Both of your hands come up to cup his face and look at his teary grey eyes before cooing at him.
"You big baby! Save those tears for When please. You'll be congested and sniffley all night if you don't stop." You start cleaning off his face with your sleeve, but he stops one of your hands and starts peppering your palm and wrist with small kisses. "I think I'm ready for bed now. Princess's orders," you say, dragging him towards your bedroom. You'll have to figure out tomorrow just how soon When is going to be, but for now you can hear the slow thumps of Hajime's steps as he follows behind you, squeezing your connected hand. It's not pressing in the least, you think, because it feels like there will be plenty of tomorrows too.
-----
When you wake up in the morning, it takes you an hour to realize Hajime had put the ring on your finger while you were asleep.
It takes you five minutes to run through town in your pajamas, barefoot to find and full on tackle him in front of the place he was about to get your breakfast in.
And it takes about two minutes of unintelligible blubbering on both your parts before anyone understands what is going on.
No one timed it, but if they did, it would've taken less than ten minutes for the whole town to find out via texts, calls, and yells down the streets and through windows that you're engaged.
#umemiya hajime x reader#umemiya hajime#mari writes#also em this is because of YOUR sweet ume fic as well YOU'RE my inspo#the most romantic thing /i/ can think of is slow dancing even when theres no music its always been that way#though the song i gave to this one is one summer night by the danleers just like...thats what should play when reading the dancing part#also i watch too many turner classic movies so its like....watching an old old romance movie#i couldnt reread it more than twice sorry if the grammars bad i was cringing the entire time because while i think this is good#im allergic to emotions and i made myself cry during it#one day id like to write something small on the scavenger hunt he sent us on cause i think it'd be cute#he might do something similar when he proposes but shhh#i want him to drop the ring off on my finger when im sleeping like the tooth FAIRY OH MY GOD I COULDVE ENDED IT LIKE THAT FUCK ME#WAIT I CAN WRITE IT AS A QUICK SIDE#ok im back i wrote it
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This was their only chance.
Phil knew his kids won't be safe anywhere else. As soon as they were away from Rose's protection, The EnderKing not only found them but possessed Phil and almost killed his children in the process. They managed to get away from him but it wasn't guaranteed he has gone for good. And the Federation was still a problem as well. At this point the only safe place for them was Rose's Sanctuary.
But that wasn't enough, they had to leave.
Unfortunately, Rose's powers weren't strong enough to take them all away from the Island, but there was an alternative.
Rose, with the help of The Goddess of Death, could guide their souls back to her home; away from danger, to a place Philza knew well. But only their souls. Once there, Rose could give them a new body and a new life.
This meant only the eggs could go. Philza can't die more than once and Missa, being a skeleton, didn't have a soul.
It was a painful decision, but this was their only chance to keep the kids safe.
The four of them laid down in their beds. Hugging together the family says goodbye. Covered in tears they made a promise to see eachother again. And while a music box plays, The Death Family falls in a deep sleep, in which only two of them will wake up.
#qsmp#death family#qsmp philza#qsmp missa#qsmp chayanne#qsmp tallulah#sorry if its not worded correctly i just wanted to give them a proper ending#im gonna cry myself to sleep now. goodnight#m.txt#m.writing
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There is no greater personal Hell of your own making then getting obsessed with some dead actor and not being able to watch their entire filmography.
#Peter Lorre#Béla Lugosi#Terry-Thomas#Thorley Walters#Faustian Fables#This is because I couldn't watch Operation Snatch (1962) yesterday#Whad'ya mean it's not online???#Same goes for Second Fiddle (1957) too#It's a found movie now and on DVD!!!#I wish too see but I'm poor#I cry myself to sleep every night about Der Januskopf#They put my dad in the same movie as Caligari Cabinet's Cesare!!#Conrad Veidttttt is there!!!#And I cannot see it???#The closest I got to a complete filmography finish was with Peter#But even then there are a few that are online just without eng subs so there's not much of a point#Or like lost lost#Where the funk is The Missing Wife???#If you read all this#Hi welcome to my breakdown of today#I just wanted to see slutty Terry-Thomas and the Gay Falcon#But I was denied that pleasure
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miles watching 505... and putting on a brave face
(via kkmeeluqq's IG story, 17.10.2023)
#he looks so fucking sad I'm devastated#night absolutely ruined I'm off to cry myself to sleep#there is not one good reason why he's not up there#not one#why is he not up there I'm never getting over this#and i just know that some time later some prick on a radio will ask him why tf he didn't play with them#and he'll mumble something about time or some technical bullshit and will barely be able to get his words out and#he will become tongue-tied as per usual when asked anything concerning alex#this is horrible goodbye#LOOK AT HIM#i want to scoop him up in my arms and hold him for HOURS#miles kane#alex turner#milex#arctic monkeys#the car tour
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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wait a minute
stop.
stop it.
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#mha spoilers#mha 423#I didn't hate this chapter before that#but now I am#because this is just cruel level of REMEMBER THIS?????#yes. I do remember this. I rewatched and reread this arc VERY recently#so... he killed Kurogiri with a punch like the one he did in USJ and again to save Izuku#I don't care honestly.#I reread this chapter and I cried again bc I REALLY refused to believe that Kurogiri died then#but he did with a death words to Shirakumo's friends and recall of old chapters#even if people want Tenko alive I doubt that Kurogiri will ever materialize again#and I'm deadly serious when I say that this is the worst part of this chapter#I worried for Kurogiri's existence ever since it was revealed that Shirakumo is in there#but that literally took FIVE YEARS TO APPEAR AGAIN HAVING AN IMPORTANT ROLE#and he left while crumbling just like Tomura's body before Katsuki hit him#and the last thing he thought about was about protecting Tomura even though he was partly Shirakumo's dead corpse appearing more and more#even Mic now understood that it's really is him in a way ending his arc from back in Tartarus with Aizawa#and you know what's worse??? TOMURA KNOWS THIS#the way he used “...........” with Kurogiri's name while the page literally showed his black smoke disappearing was heartbreaking before#it's worse now#like... okay he's dying too and he doesn't even know if spinner is ALIVE or not and he saw Kurogiri disappear#all while protecting him from harm one last time#AND WE STILL HAVE NO FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF HIS TIME WITH TOMURA OUTSIDE OF WHAT WE HAD IN MANGA#I'm getting more and more furious by the minute HAHA#I need to find that one sketch I did way back in 2019 with them after spoilers of Kurogiri in Tartarus#I NEED SOMETHING LIKE THAT NOW AND I CAN'T DRAW#I want to just curl up and cry myself to sleep like a 13 y.o that found out the bird that she looked after died while she was sleeping#kurogiri
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youtube
#Sleep Token#Youtube#i don't#i don't cry from music often#and i guess i still haven't considering what this was#but the intro monologue to this performance#made me burst into tears in under 60 seconds just now#first it was slow#just teared up a little bit... i didn't even realize what it was saying.. much less that it was from HIM#and then he said something and it was full on sobbing#I'd go check again to tell you what it was but I just pulled myself back together and I can't like do that again#what the frick...#like vessel doesn't talk during performances ever bc y'know he's possessed by whatever gave him some of the coolest music in existence#so this monologue like touches all the more... he's SPEAKING to US#THANKING US#for listening to the music that he -in this case- put so much of his pain into#he knows we're thankful for them#but he's also thankful for us#and then like as the song goes on he just pounds those keys and screams those lyrics and the vesselette has to go check on him at the end#like frick if that doesn't mess you up... aguuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh#...#I just wanted to see what a live performance of bloodsport was and apparently I clicked on the worst one bc nowhere else does this play#sleep token thank you
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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I love when i have to fight off the Thoughts. Constantly.
#ugh why has this whole month just felt like it’s been ten thousand years#it’s been stressful and I stg the Feb bad has just continued into March and ugh#shut up sarah#sorry I just. Thursday was shit. Friday was stress. Saturday I had four hours of sleep and then Sunday and today I’ve just been dead not#wanting to do any work but knowing I have a bunch and literally nothing is wrong but#on the plus side I found a great corner in my home for crying in. very comfy good little corner surrounded by furniture so it’s great#fav new spot to sit and ponder my existence for my allocated shitty brain time for the day before I make myself half do the pressing shit
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spent 2 hours making a lunch and through a series of unfortunate events the entirety of it spilled into the sink the universe is cold and cruel and hates me specifically and emphatically i am god's most beloathed creation
#i have been stuck in a loop of sleeping for 15+ hours at a time and it's been hell i just wanted to do something nice for myself PLEASE#I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE i get like 5 functional hours to do everything i need to do if i'm lucky!!#sobbing crying etc#i am So Tired
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*smacks Draxum* this bad boy can fit so much angst and despair
#tmnt#rottmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt baron draxum#rottmnt draxum#baron draxum#draxum#I’m making myself cry currently 🥲#this is what happens when I can’t go back to sleep#I do not want to believe he just blindly believed the supposed prophecy right away#100% something had to have happened to him personally#or to someone he cares about 🙃
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FOUNDATION (2021-) You're the hero, Hober. You're clearly vital to the Prophet's Plan. Yeah, was vital. My job's done. So is mine. No. No, no, no. Listen, your job is just beginning.
insp.
#foundation#foundationedit#my stomach and my throat hurt so much#that's the locris wine logo btw (gifs 2 and 8). i had to recreate it from scratch but it's pretty close#making the last two gifs just now took years off my life i want to cry myself to sleep#foundation apple tv#brother constant#hober mallow#constant x hober#foundation spoilers#scifiedit#usergif#tvedit#isabella laughland#dimitri leonidas#beegifs#*gfx
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ohhhhmygod im gonna be sick. actually nauseous and i did it to myself - there was a spider on the countertop and i Panicked, grabbing the first distance-killer i could grab. it was a grease cleaner spray. i buried it in the stuff, walked away to recover mentally, came back
it fucking fell apart and dissolved into the cleaner. i both feel horrible and im disgusted beyond words. how the fuck do i get rid of it
#slamming my face into a wall repeatedly#i cant leave it there to deal with after Sleep#bc my cats like to go onto the countertops when no one is looking#and i dont want either of them to get poisoned#but i cant rinse it into the sink with the faucet hose bc there's stuff in the sink#but idk if i can bring myself to do dishes with That next to me#and my fear of spiders is so intense that i Cannot get close enough to take care of it with a towel or somethin#im very good at fucking myself over in various ways!#if i had an appetite id lose it. permanently#what if! instead of dealing with it! i curl up in a corner and cry#except im not gonna do that ive filled my tears quota for the year & doing nothing wont help anything#sorry for venting again i just. ohhhhh this is horrible this is Terrible#if i still had my whacking stick id tape a big wad of paper towels to the end and clean the mess up that way#from a Distance!#absolutely unprompted#i wish i wasnt so terrified of spiders#they scare me So much....#the point of feeling physically ill! and like sobbing! or panicking! and this spider was Big!#i wish they'd stop coming into the house.... i hate killing them but i cant function knowing theyre there#but i can't force myself close enough to put them in a cup and bring them outside#so now i have THAT on my counter. disintegrated spider.#life is too fucking much lately... jesus.... i should really just bite the bullet and get this shit over with#no use waiting a month in perpetual terror unease and guilt. do it scared yk yk#im tired of my chest hurting and not being able to eat! i dont like it! i need change! terrifying horrible change!
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That look in his eyes made me sure
We'd be dancing 'til the dawn!
#human alastor#human mimzy#alastor#mimzy#hazbin hotel#every night i cry myself to sleep because did you know these two were originally planned to be an official couple#but vivienne medrano was just like 'no that's bullshit. that's going on the cutting room floor'#SHE CAN"T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!#DUDE this would have been like the perfect girlfriend for this guy!!!!!!#i'm just joking i'm just joking. sorry i'm just being annoying because they are peak aesthetically pleasing couple!!#alastor is ASEXUAL!!!!! romance is not his happy ending!!!! what i actually want is for them to be FRIENDS again!!!!#i have so many crazy non canon headcanons about these two because they are peak aesthetic!!!!!#im going to cry myself to sleep if they don't reconcile in season 2!!!!#ftm al
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Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.
#can anyone provide me guidance on this? ill bring it up with my therapist but i dont see her for another week#anyways im making myself cry late at night whats new lol ive been processing a lot this week#ok eta: and theyll always make you feel bad for this!!!!!#theyll be like ''ok so everyone has to bend to your commie regime to have a relationship with you 🙄''#like yeah actually you do#if you really loved me like you claim to you wouldnt be FUCKING VOTING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY#yes you do have to respect my rights if you want to have a relationship with me that is completely reasonable#whats ACTUALLY unreasonable is you asking me to ''just get over'' the fact that yall support people who think i shouldnt have human rights#right wingers will try to gaslight you into believing basic human decency is an unattainable and torturous request#then when you get upset theyll be like ''god the left is so emotional 🙄''#like yeah. i am. and you should be emotional too about human rights violations. the fact that youre not is pure evil.#anyways ill go cry myself to sleep like a faggot now#it just breaks my heart that i dont have any immediate family members who dont blatantly hate me for being queer/first nations
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