#i just want to be done with uni and be accepted to the masters degree i want

[notyaslol]

On friday I officially graduated 😭🎓

Now i just need to pass my last make up tests and my dissertation and I’m done with uni

[bananaactivity]

Okay so this Morgie/Hook pic is draining me 🙏😔

I’m not even CLOSE to being done. I think I’m gonna take a break from this bad boy and work on a comic inspired by my small conversation with @kori-xo it make take a bit cause I can never stop editing comics 🥺

I willlll get into my version of Morgie and Hook 😻

This is Killian James Hook he is a rich kid who ran from home and eventually became the first lost boy. He ran away from home for 5 months ADT (Auradon time) but for him it was Five years NVRLT(Neverland time) He actually does miss his parents but he’s made friends with Peter Pan, the newest lost boy; Pete is an abandoned kid so he doesn’t understand why Hook missed his rich kid Lifestyle.

Eventually Hook returns home promising he’ll be back and never leave again, but he stays for two months, and his parents trick him into to believing he got a full ride to the Prep school he always wanted to ( they actually paid for it but Hook is stupid during his young teen times) He returns to Neverland to explain, but Pete is not understanding at all. He’s gotten new kids to join him and he cuts off Hooks right hand, feeds it to a croc and forbids him from ever returning to Neverland as he’s a “betrayer”.

Hook couldn’t beat him because he had no training in swords or fighting, Hook is so absolutely pissed off he decides to peruse a degree in Piracy and Swordsmanship and his desire for revenge becomes more blood thirsty as he grows older. He is 19 when he meets the OGVs (original villains) and they attend the same uni. Consider this a more aged up Merlin’s Academy setting.

He loves Morgie and Maleficent, he respects Uliana a lot, and he and Hades have a very “charged” rivalry if you get what I mean… everyone says the vibes are strong when they argue but if you ask them they say just hate each other soooo much. Speed running some things Hook goes for 12 months (12 years on NVRLT) to kill Peter Pan but he accidentally has Harry with some rando, I can’t think of who I just know it was an accident because Hook had “needs” and you know how that goes…and has to bring him home so he’ll actually grow beyond a actual infant. Maleficent threatens to curse Harry if she isn’t invited to ALL his birthdays with her and Hades new baby Malll💖

Morgie la Fay is the child of Morgana, the sibling of King Arther of Camelot fame. Morgana was not born with her expansive list of powers and witch craft and inflicted her body with dark primordial magic. This causes her to become unable to bear her own children, so using her blood she does some dark magic and creates Morgie after many months of bloody sacrifices and chantings. Morgie was born a horrific, lanky, fanged, pure black beast, with yellow eyes of a serpent and a long tail. He crawled on all fours and instead of baby gabble, he made guttural crows and coed often.

I’m sure you guys would find him cute, I just haven’t finalized a design yet… Arther and Merlin also had children… Archie and Marvin respectively. Morgana wanted Morgie to be close to his cousin so she presented as reformed. Arther actually accepted 💀 and eventually Morgie came into his own developing the red haired form you see above at around five years old. Marvin doesn’t like Morgie but of course Archie loves his cuz and thinks he’s the coolest primordial beast witch thing ever.

Eventually they all attend Merlin’s school and Morgie meets Hook, instantly adores him of course… Morgie chooses black smithing as his masters and he forges with gold enchanted with dark soul energy. He actually crafts, as a graduation present, a new golden hook, sword, and pocket watch for Hook.

He has a whole host of dark and ancient abilities but he still really dum so he doesn’t think quick enough. I’m having Marvin trap Morgies mom in an infinite loop of death and revivals . Which makes Morgie want to take over Camelot so he can free her. So for a 10 period after Harry turns 4 Morgie goes off to Camelot to terrorize it. He only returns after Jay and Carlos , who were looking at territory options for Mal, disturbed the small cave he was resting in. He chased them across the sea to the shores of the isle ( in his eldritch form) where Hook resides with his son. Before stoping once he recognizes Harry and reunites with Hook.

[onlyrains]

HERE YOU ARE, A HERO — SJY

♬—now playing: niki - anaheim

“no. don't say anything.” you step backward.

“why?”

“you know the answer, jake,”

he moved closer. “then say it to my face, y/n.”

“don’t make me start.”

“did we even start anything?”

“you know that's not what i meant,” you take a deep breath.

it's always like this. this kind of conversation isn't new to you and jake, actually. the thing between you two started two years ago, when you were in the worst state of mind and let him guide you through it. if only you could say it out loud, you would declare to the world that he is indeed your savior. the one and only sim jake. 

it was all fun and games with him until you noticed there's something tucked away and trying to interfere with everything you've had. and no, you can’t accept it. you don’t deserve it.

he confesses to you a couple times and always wear heart on his sleeve. it’s not like you don’t like him, but it does burden you the most. 

as it is today, the main topic of your argument was about the scholarship he got at his dream university. he always talked about it since it was the same uni his parents went to. he must continue the legacy, he said. it warms your heart hear him sharing his dream with his parents—sometimes, it does hurts too, but you know it just the grudge you've been holding for years.

but then, when you said you have no interest to take a master degree nor move in with him, he suddenly plans to decline it. he's going to ignore his dream just because you.

you laughed silently. like, how could you?

“i don’t understand, y/n. i truly don’t.”

you gulp a lump in your throat. “me either, jake.”

if you had a chance to change a thing in the world right now, it would be your feelings towards him. not about your broken family, not even about him that made you almost lose your mind. you would've chosen jake over everything, to love him the loudest.

“we can work it out, y/n, please. let me—”

“we can't.” you bowed your head down, unable to make a single eye contact with him anymore. it doesn’t usually like this. you used to be stoic about whatever you faced with him. you used to know how to divert the topic to a lighter one then run away from the real thing.

you swear with all of your life, you want to leave him behind and start a new chapter with jake like he always wanted. but you haven't had the work done. you have yet to learn to escape from his grip and let yourself live the way you want. 

“i’m sorry.” you muttered.

you feel his body heat approaching you slowly. his shoulder shielding you from the sunset lights, making your toes try harder to grip the sand underneath. 

you wish you could choose to die in this moment with him, with the orange hue illuminating half of his face, with the urge to kiss him goodbye.

“you're everything to me, jakey.”

“stop calling me that if it means nothing to you.”

“you mean the world.” he tilted your chin to look up at him.

“you always wanted to watch the sunset at this beach, didn't you?”

you nod twice. “yes.” with you. 

“i always try to grant your wishes, right?”

you nod.

“i always treat you right, don’t i?”

you nod.

“so when things started to go wrong? i'd do anything for you, y/n.”

“there. exactly right there. i remember you told me you'd do anything, you'd kill for me. that was when it all went wrong.”

he was startled. “are you kidding me?”

“jake, i’m not done with myself,”

“i can be a company like i always do. we can stay like this.”

you groan out of frustration. “you don’t understand.”

he brought his face closer. “i don’t, so tell me.” he whispered with chattering teeth. eyes glued on your lips.

your breath hitched when he brushed his lips on your chapped one. 

you let him. you surely, gladly, let him. in fact, he is the only person you allowed to cross your boundaries. 

his touch does move your body, but not necessarily with something within you. sometimes all you want to do is hit your head on the nearest wall for being such an ungrateful idiot, while it is not like something you could easily control too.

a few seconds passed, he finally captured your lips perfectly in his. he kissed you slow, cupped your cheeks and tried pouring out all his feelings into it. 

you return it with a steady tempo as your thumbs rubbed his neck lovingly. he really is your lifesaver, your everything. you couldn’t imagine these past year without him beside you. but it would be even more unimaginable if he stayed with you like this. wasting himself for a broken soul like you. 

you don’t know when you will heal. you don’t even know if this can be healed, or do you even want it to be healed? you don’t know. but it's clear, he deserves everything and you don’t deserve him.

the wound your father left, the hole that person made in you, are the two most uncertain things in your life and you wouldn’t let jake go through the same thing just because he’s with you.

so, if a goodbye kiss was a real thing, that is what you were trying to do. because all you have with him is basically an endless loop and one of you really needs to stop it and that person should be you.

after a moment of heaven, he pulls away breathlessly. you grip the hem of his shirt and glanced at the polaroid of him smiling you took previously. you may keep that one.

you stare into his sparkly eyes. if only he knew what's inside your mind, it would be so easy. so you decide to return to the main topic that was previously forgotten, “i'll think about moving,” —by lying.

he beams. “god, are you serious?”

“but don’t expect too much,” you smile bitterly. 

he shook his head. “no, thank you.” he said as he lifted you up and hugged you tightly.

you ruffled his hair. “you have to take it no matter what my decision is. don’t me mind me, puppy.”

“nonsense. i’ll always consider you in everything.”

well, he is definitely going to hate you. 

a/n: just thinking about something new and here it is… hope you like it… bc im not sure either…

[wa-royal-tea]

I'm back! Kinda + What I've been up to + Timezone Change, Story Posting Update

Heyyyy thur guys! I’m back, kinda. Sorry it took me a while to update you guys on what I’ve been working on, life has been extra busy since July 31st for me 💀 I won't post a story update yet as I still have things to do but I mightttt return by the end of September.

If you wanna know what I've been up to, read under the cut. Just a warning, it's pretty long 💀

I have an update on what I've been working on irl and it's kind of an exciting news, at least for me lol. So, in case anyone is wondering what I've been up to, I'm actually preparing to further my Masters overseas and this plan has been a wip since last year. I've been studying for my IELTS because the universities I've applied to requires me to take it. And then I had my graduation ceremony for my Bachelor's Degree after waiting for SO long bcs of Covid. It was one of the happiest day in my life bcs I got the Vice Chancellor's award!!! Sorry for the bragging there, I'm just so proud of myself :') I worked my ass off to maintain my CGPA every semester so getting that award really felt like all of that hard work was worth it :')

After all that is done, I applied to the Uni's that I wanted and surprisingly, all the Uni's I applied to gave me an offer which is pretty neat! I accepted one of the offers and then I had to look for a sponsorship.

I kept it a hush-hush kind of thing and only told several of my close friends about what I was planning to do bcs it was something that I wasn't sure that I'll be getting so anytime that I was taking a "break", I was actually working on this in the background (had to attend zoom interviews with the Uni's. Doing the tasks in order to get an interview invite etc.). It was a stressful process but yeah, this is what I've had planned for me when I was younger so I was determined to make it happen no matter what! Your girl is not one to give up easily! 😤

So around June this year, the sponsorship that I've been aiming for opened and I applied for it, got the results that I had been offered a full-ride sponsorship on July 31st and everything became so busy for me because I had to prepare the necessary documents to be sent to the sponsorship board. It was an exhausting process as I had to make sure that everything is prepared perfectly so there wouldn't be any problems and so far, alhamdulillah, everything has been going well. I had my visa done, I secured a place to stay during the duration of my studies, all the documents were sent at the end of last week. But preparing all of these took a toll on my energy and I simply don't have the energy to open my game or even open blender to work on my story. But I have been writing the scripts and all so yeah, the story is still running in the background. I did find some little time to work on poses but I worked on a few before I stopped because I was too tired hahaha.

Anyways, only a few people knew what I was working on while I was on this break. Shoutout to Miss Wheat knee and Gigi for being patient with me replying to their discord messages late everyday 😭 And thank you for giving me your emotional support and encouragement! A huge thank you to both Miss Devilled Eggs and Wheat knee for helping me in my process of applying to the Uni's from helping me brush up my English for my IELTS during one of our previous calls, and for helping me with my Piece to Camera video practice for my Uni interviews. I really, greatly, am thankful to you guys for that. And to Wheat knee, thank you for believing in me when I was overthinking stuff thinking I wouldn't get the offers sfkhskl I really appreciate you for that 😢

And with that, I would like to update you guys that my posting time will be changing as I will be moving to London for my studies. So my timezone will no longer be GMT+8 :') It will be GMT+1 as of September 28th. Aside from that, my postings won't be regular too, I'll be updating whenever I can as I'll probably be busy with my studies and all. So, wish me luck! I'm a bit anxious about this so I hope I'll do well :')

Thank you to all my readers who are still there for me since day 1, you all are the best! And sorry that the story will take a while to be completed, I'll try my best to still work on it bcs I love it too much to just leave it like that 😭

That's all I guess! Thank you again for reading this if you are reading it lol.

Love,

Nina ❤

[mrsdeliberatecreater]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Okay love. I need you to do something for me. Take 3 deeeeep breaths.

Okay?

I understand you completely. I understand what are going through completely. I'm Indian, so I know how it can be. I got yelled at by my sister for thinking that I might have ADHD. 👀 Its all good now though. I also used to deal with debilitating anxiety two years ago.. I barely left my room, let alone go to school for a master's degree that I chose and got into serious debt for.. I'm not making this about me, but I just want you know that change is possible.

Anytime you start to feel bad, a anxiety attack coming on, I want you to just keep taking calming deep breaths and focus on the now. Focus on the things you see, things you can hear, smell, etc. Its the feeling of "now". Come back to the "now" as many times as needed if you feel negative thoughts. I would affirm, "Everything is okay, everything will be okay", pick an affirmation that feels natural to you, and affirm.

If you like subliminals, I would recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX6BKBzVgfk&t=4s This has stopped so many of my anxiety attacks before I learned to let them go..

If not keep doing the breathing exercises. You will find that by repetition this will eventually release the reasons for feeling anxiety in the first place. Take things one day at a time. If it gets bad, ask someone you trust for help.

We alll have doubts. Doubts are fine. As long as you are just focused on the end/wish fulfilled/affirming, you are fine, even with doubts. You don't need to believe with 100% everything till you burst a blood vessel. If you feel like your doubts are overwhelming you, decide that nothing, not even you can stop your desires from manifesting. <3

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you". - Matthew 17:20

If you have the time, I would highly recommend IlluminatingJoy on youtube, especially her https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT2xyCcoues&t=1727s

She has a really good grasp on manifestation and explains everything so well and accommodates it to fit our "logic", while completely validating human emotions. The exercise she does in this video is so so simple but seriously effective. I catch myself slipping at least once a day that would have spiraled if I hadn't done the exercise.

Also if you want to do this in a day, I want you to focus on your mental diet. Affirm affirm affirm.

If negative thoughts come up, you breathe and think "I can relax, I got all A's". Anything in the 3D reminds you think, "I can relax, I got what I wanted. Your family being mean to you? remember how in class after lunch, your teacher is talking but you're thinking about something else.

Also speaking of that, I know you said you can't your images clearly. That's fine. Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

My visualizations are never clear and I manifest everything I imagine all the time. They all have that "vignette" effect lol..

Imagination can be a picture, it can be a smell, a touch, a voice, just how someone's clothes smell when they are standing really close to you like in an elevator. Like you can specifically smell it but you KNOW what I'm talking about right?

Your loved ones in your face? Use it YOUR ADVANTAGE. I used to hear my sister compliment me, it was easy to hear her voice. I primarily used her voice to fix our relationship. Cannot for the life of me picture her face properly but thats FINE.

You can use ANY of the senses, just one or two or all. Hear your family saying things you want in your mind. Hear them congratulating you, compliment you.

You can slowly work this into all the other aspects of your life...

By the way, you aren't lost and empty. You are a very caring person, you want to do things so that you don't let your family down, in spite of how they treat you. That to me is a genuinely caring person.

But you need to apply that same care to yourself. You don't need me to be harsh to you, YOU don't need to be harsh to you. You are working so hard to find answers but you ARE the answer. Its okay. Please just rest. Its all yours. Be more soft to yourself, be more kind to yourself, compliment yourself, you will start to see that kindness reflected in the 3D as well.

I have given you a lot of options here so you can pick and choose what makes YOU feel better so that YOU can focus on SELF because

Nothing to change but self

Reach out to me as many times as you would like, you could never bother me.

Nya 🌺

[skibasyndrome]

It's super interesting to hear about your studies and I'm curious: is it something usual in Germany (/maybe Europe?) to be able to do research/teaching/research assistant jobs when you're still an undergraduate student? I thought those kinds of things where only possible once you're doing your master (or even your phd)?

Hey! I gotta say I only have experience at the one uni I've done all my studies so far at, but at least here there are certain classes that can (sometimes should) be taken over by students that aren't in a PhD program yet. Undergrad means below Master's program, right? (sorry lmao, I'm never 100% on the international lingo) In that case: yeah, it happens, but it's more likely that Master students get the jobs. But if you're lucky/interested/somehow end up proving yourself to the profs it's also possible to get in as an undergrad. Plus it helps that I'm starting my Master's degree soon and have passed a bunch of classes with different profs and and that my profs seem to believe that I'm motivated enough to get it done 🙈

As for research assistant: I feel like it's very normal for undergrad students to be able to do that, most projects actually specifically hire undergrad students because they gotta pay them less and they're qualified enough to do the kinds of research tasks that the job requires anyways.

I'm also extremely lucky because one of my favorite profs (that's also one of my bosses) isn't big on hierarchies and doesn't necessarily care what type of degree people have as long as they seem motivated to work and learn and research and interested in the type of research she works on. It's super exciting, because thanks to her I also got to get a small conference report published before finishing my BA and she's already got a few projects lined up for me to publish smaller papers/essays for. Plus her whole team is awesome and lovely and always interested in collaborsting across the "degree borders" or whatever you'd call it. I already have some plans to publish things in co-authorship with some of her PhD-students as well :) So... idk. Lots of it is getting lucky and meeting and vibing with the right people, both personally and professionally and just... idk... proving that you're interested in your subject beyond the standard courses you have to do, that you want to and can do more than is required from you. And writing this... hurt.... because......... the imposter syndrome is telling me in 9/10 times that I literally just stumbled into this situation but I think at this point there have been too many """coincidences"""" and I need to accept that maybe there was something else there lol

Anyways thanks for much for the question and sorry for the rambly reply, if any other German/European students wanna chime in feel free! I can only speak for my uni, my (humanities) department and my profs/bosses! But I love talking about this, so hmu if you ever wanna talk more :) 💜

[max1u3]

Blizzcon 2023 Omg...

First of all here's the video I watched if you want to go watch it yourself, but I'm just gonna outline what I think are the highlights in this post!

First of all, Blizzard actually serving this Blizzcon like?? Woah there, slow down, are you sure you actually want to deliver what the fanbase wants... you've never done that before but slay.

And secondly, I'm late to this cos your girl put off working on a brief deadline for her degree until the last few days and had to draw like a mad woman. So excuse my late reactions to everything haha

ANYWAYS

THE COMP CHANGES?? LIKE SLAY OMG

Let's be honest, even Blizzard knew the 5 - 15 bracket was shit, and now they're finally getting rid of it, and replacing it with this ->

Like are we actually getting ranked on what we do in the match or is this some kind of amazing dream?

As a hard stuck gold/plat support main with an average of 20k heals a match, this is like some kind of blessing from God.

Plus not to mention the rank reset?? Last time I rank reset, aka made a smurf account that I never used, it was two ranks above my main. I'm going to cry literal tears of joy.

Plus, we're getting these bad boys back ->

She looks a little different but it's ok, we still accept her as the placement matches we know and love.

(I am very sassy today apologies, I have borderline carpool tunnel in my main hand and a backache to slay all backaches so I'm feeling slightly unhinged.)

Then they're also tidying up the competitive challenges tab? Like actually slay!

Like look how clean and sexy she looks like omg. Can't wait to actually understand all that information now that it's feasible to read haha

I'm not as hype about these but they still deserve mentioning ->

Tree guns! Oh wait, I mean Emerald guns. Mb. I think they're just like... meh. Like me and my duo have had long and detailed discussions on how we would improve gold guns. We eventually settled on them progressing in rarity and price. We suggested a gun started at bronze and worked it's way up the ranks like you do in competitive, and each rank would be a thousand more expensive. So obviously Bronze for Bronze, Silver for Silver, Gold for Gold, Platinum with like a purple sheen for Platinum, Diamond with a white and blue reflection for Diamond, then either Ruby or Sapphire for Masters and Grand Masters.

If you hadn't figured it out by my grumbling already in this post, but I'm a digital art student in uni, literally studying concept art, and by gods would my lecturers turn their noses up at the green they chose for this promotional ss.

Personally, I would saturate the colour more, it's much too dark. Sure, up close you can see the colour well, but realistically you want to be able to see the colour in game as well, and the green here is much too dark. I would saturate the colour more, but not too much. There's a thin line between it being a distraction or a flex. Next thing I would do is give it a darker sheen so when it catches certain lights it has a muted sparkle. I say darker so that it doesn't cross the distraction line again, because a lighter sheen would defiantly distract a player.

ANYWAY those are just my thoughts on it as someone studying this stuff at uni :)

I'm not a professional and will never be cos I'm never touching the art industry after this course again lol

Next I just wanna briefly look at the two heroes other than Mauga we got a look at.

Which are obviously Venture ->

Who's a dps who digs underneath the ground and launches out to deal dmg to the enemies.

Personally, I think it's a really innovative idea, and a really nice idea lore wise, but realistically I don't think this is going to play well, and I'm sure we're going to see lots of changes to him before and after he's released.

Also that concept art is just chefs kiss. It's so beautiful, with such clean lines and such an understandable concept. The facial expression is so cute and clean as well, and I already love them just from what I can see.

Oh, they are a they/them as well, so they're slaying.

Then there's 'Space Ranger', which is only a code name, and all we can call her so far ->

Again the beautiful concept art is literally making my drool, the lines are clean, it's understandable, conveys exactly what the artist wants.

I also love the unique UI of having the two guns above. It's also really thrilling to get more of a design perspective, for me at least. Even if I'm not going into the art industry (I'm taking a course to become a teacher after I gradate next year) it's still really exciting to be able to see the processes of it all. Now I can't help but imagine what the rest of the heroes concept art looked like when drawn onto the ss like the image above.

She's also a support by the way, so we support mains are being FED.

Next on my little list that I have here, is the hero mastery updates. Which are all for next year, so 2024.

The first point was that we'd be getting D.va, Lucio, Genji, Echo and Mei maps to master. I've 5 stared all the Mercy courses cos she's one of my mains, and my other is D.va sooooo can't wait to spend 20 hours on that haha.

They've also realised that it being solo can be a bit of an obstacle for groups, so they're adding a tower defence 3v3 vs bots mode. Every season the heroes on the roster for the mode will cycle out, as will the special rewards for completing the game mode every season. Basically, they're trying to make it as replayable every season as possible. Even with the heroes and reward cycles, I still have a sneaking suspicion this is going to end up slightly monotonous.

Here's a ss of the tower defence ->

It's not very clear and that's mb, I forgot to ss until too late lol.

Finally, the last big thing that they discussed was the new game mode 'Clash', plus the re-work of the Hanamura 2cp map for this game mode.

They basically described clash as 5cp, and even with this image it took me a while to get my head around it. Disclaimer, I am dyslexic though lol, so you'll probably get it faster than me.

Basically, (from what I understood from the dev's explanation) all five points will be lined up in a row on the map. When the game starts, team blue will posses 2 points and so will team red. Only point C will be available to cap, and it's a race to see who can claim the point first. Whoever claims the point will then push the enemy teams spawn room back a point, and the next point to claim will be either one to the right/left from the middle. The game ends when one team holds on the points, or the time runs out and whoever holds the most points win. The co-streamer I was watching alongside it said it resembled a tft game mode, but since I've never played tft I can't vouch for that.

I actually really like this idea, and it actually does remind me of 2cp quite a lot. It has a very nostalgic OW feeling just to the description.

Moving on, we have the Hanamura re-work, which is last, but not least.

They've adjusted the map in a way that supposedly makes it feel organic and not just a re-work of Hanamura itself. Basically, they've expanded off the main map, left some noticeable features and vibes to the map, and dropped the previous map into the background. It's a very smart way to evolve a map in all honesty.

This map has been designed specifically for Clash and will be called Hanaoko (sorry if I'm butchering that, they didn't write it down anywhere and only said the name).

Normally, I won't be too bothered to write so much about a new map, but bro this is Hanamura! I adore Hanumura, so, so, so much! I miss 2cp and all those maps so badly. It's nice to see them evolving the concept to incorporate those nostalgic elements for OW1 players.

What also interested me was that they talked more about the Hanamura lore. Naturally, there's a lot of it. With the Shimada brothers, the Hashimoto Shimada fight for dominance, and Kiriko with her Yokai gang. They specifically mentioned more lore for those three groups which got my very excited. They also mentioned, and I feel stupid for not noticing this cos it's obvious once it's pointed out), but all the dragons and tigers on the map are symbolic. They represent the struggle between the Shimada (dragons) and Hashimoto (tigers) clans when they're fighting. Like in this photo ->

So, it's official, we are being well and truly fed this Blizzcon. I can't wait for ranked to actually feel rewarding again.

Here's a random Tracer play from OW1 to finish of the post :)

[shadow-laviko]

Shit man, I just wanna spend all day everyday writing fanfics (or just writing in general), because it's the only thing that brings me comfort lately But like I feel like nobody fucking care, so I can't even get the motivation to do what I like And it just feels awful Because, ok, I got it, I feel bad, whatever. But at least let me do something about it, no??

It's just... You know... My self worth/confidence was already low, but sseing that NO university would fucking take me when they took students with lower grades and even students who did NOT get their diploma... I'm just like "Why them and not me?" because, shouldn't better grades give me more choices? Besides, unis take student who don't have their diploma yet... to become teachers! Those fucking people are going into teachers master without a degree and shit grades (when they should have both), and I have both and got accepted NOWHERE??

I mean, I did get accepted in the same uni I've been for the past three years... But I've been accepted for a master I'm not interested in, and this uni sucks (like, genuinely. One of the teachers is a r*p*st and he's roaming uni freely because the uni director (not the right title but I don't know what it's called) agreed to. Some teachers are also genuinely just people who should not be teachers)

So like, with that, my self confidence went below fucking zero

Just to be smashed again by the driving license's examinator who fucking set me up for failure

So my fucking self worth/self confidence has been ANIHILATED

And everyday I'm trying to slowly go back above 0, or at least to 0... But there's always something that shatters it yet again as soon as I get too close to zero

It's fucking awful I just feel so darn awful

And like, I feel like nobody care about me? Like, my parents, well, for once, they spend most of their days at work, and when they're done, they barely want to talk. Even on week-ends. And we rarely, if ever, do things together And it's been the case for my entire fucking life Even as far as I can remember when I was a kid

Then, I have "friends", who I consider as friends but who every other friends tell me are fake friends (so basically everyone is saying everyone is shit). And like, that's kinda true? Like, I rarely if ever spend time with my "friends" besides uni?? I try to ask to hang out, even say I'd pay everything if needed (I'm not really rich, but, you know, paying a coffee or something to a friend every now and then is fine. Especially if it's to spend time with them), but they still say they can't hang out? And like, that could be true if they were not posting pictures of them out with other friends of them almost everyday?? Like, they have time for everyone but me?? Dude, I'm not even asking for much, just once a week... Or like, let me accompany you grocery shopping, I'll carry you bags for you... anything, I just wanna spend time with you and not be alone... But that's too much to ask I guess?

And if I'm not the one to ask to hang out, they barely do it themselves? (I can genuinely, without lying, count on ONE hand the number of times friends have asked me to go out this past year (and probably more than just this past year tbh)) Part 2

[hampirtengahmalam]

2022 – The Year of Resilience

I genuinely thought that I am done with 2022 due to the huge heartbreak that I felt.

Since 2019 I never make a goal to start a new year, just continuously reflecting on what I have done and I have achieved.

From December 2021 until May 2022, I was occupied preparing my university and scholarship application to some universities. I got no time for unnecessary things like hanging out with friends, getting along with my co-workers, or even thinking about love.

I knew that 2022 was supposed to teach me about how failure and blessing could co-exist. But in the mid of 2022-in June to be exact, you came into my life. You reoriented the rest of the year making it more colourful and it felt like you painted my whole skies. When I failed, you tried your best to cheer me up. Nothing sexier than effort and knowing that there is someone who wants you so much.

Some people said that stay single until you feel that love is easy, as simple as breathing. Despite the differences among us, I am grateful to have him right now.

So, writing this reflection reminds myself that this year is full of ups and downs, tears and laughs, loneliness, resilience, anxiety, and joy.

First: Failure

Half of my 2022 was full of hustling in preparing for university and scholarship applications. My desire to pursue a high level of education is still the same every year. All I want is to get my master's degree, a new experience to broaden my horizon, and get a better job for a better life. I applied to Oxford, MIT, Freiburg University, 4 universities in Sweden, Hong Kong University, and Sussex University. From all those applications to universities, I got accepted to HKU and Sussex Uni, but not the scholarship.

During preparing these applications, I realised that I am more aware of what I want and what I need. I learned that it’s ok if your dreams change and it’s not the same dream as 5 years ago. I realised that I evolved and my dreams as well. Preparing the applications takes time and requires deep focus. I can say that my half-life in 2022 is juggling with personal statements, reference letters, tons of essays, documents, and not being able to move from my desk (ups! My bad).

When I got an email from ADB-HKU (which was my last hope back then) telling me that I didn’t get the scholarship, I was shocked and all I could do was sit in silence and cried until I slept. But the universe has its own way to remind me about failure. One of the TEDTalk videos I watched before I slept was about how a high-level mindset can help you to achieve your dream. It was such an enlightening talk for me because the talks remind me to keep my head up and not every chapter in life is going to be perfect. So, it’s ok if you fail, you will learn and grow.

Second: Growth

I always believe that rejection means redirection. When I failed, I didn’t tell myself to be strong or “yeah let's do it again”. No. It is not how I treat myself to face failure. I learned that in order to make yourself stronger you have to give room for yourself to be vulnerable. Accept the situation and feel the emotion. So, when I cried, I let myself feel all of the emotions like anger, sadness, confusion, etc.

My failure has taught me that I shouldn’t hold on to something too tightly. It’s like when you hold sand in your hand too tight, it will come out from your fingers and it won’t stay. I also try to believe in what God has prepared for me because God is the best planner and executor. My failure gives me room to grow and evolve. It teaches me that life is about to catch and release.

Third: Joy

The rest of 2022 was an epic journey for me. I never expected could meet someone like you. Well, of course, we met in 2020 but I mean we really ‘meet’ at an unexpected time which…both of us know the story. HEHE. It took almost 3 months for me to really form a feeling for you and during that time you always prove to me your consistency which is ‘sexy’ for me. I have to say that neither of us expected to walk down a road that leads us here. (Read: kamu genit banget dari dulu sampe aku gamau deket tapi sekarang malah seneng kalau spending time sama kamu)

We met at the point where I was done with wanting to be with someone. I was done about meeting and knowing people to start a relationship. Then, there is you. All of the efforts you make, the sweetness, the weirdness, the awkwardness, and the silliness, all of these make me rethink about love. Despite our differences, you treat me well and make me one of your priorities. Even though I hate when you ‘ngomong gak jelas’ but you still steal my heart. Asik :D We went from one art exhibition to another, make a list of ‘Saturdate’ activities, re-watch Harry Potter, went to Ubud and Besakih and almost ‘died’, and many activities.

It’s weird how I started 2022 with hustling, and overthinking and ended with me smiling and laughing almost every day.

Since nothing is permanent in this world, including this state of happiness…so I guess let’s embrace our moments. The only thing we can do is cheerish it while it lasts.

.

.

.

.

Jkt / January 1st, 2023 / 11.28pm

[aimeegbbs]

.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Risk it - Harry Styles

a/n: this came so fast and typed most of it out at work lmao, but i kinda dig how it turned out!! hope you’ll like it too! as always, feedback is very much appreciated!

pairing: professor!Harry x Reader

warning: sexual content

word count: 11.8k

masterlist

You shake yourself a little bit to get rid of the spicy coldness that’s been lingering around in the city in the past few days. It’s only the end of August, but feels more like late October, though they say the warmness will return for a few more weeks shortly. That would be much needed, you’d love to enjoy some more lunches out in a park or down near the river before you are forced to withdraw into the insides for the rest of the year.

Looking around in the packed pub you look for the familiar golden locks of Piper and you quickly spot her in one of the corner booths, laughing joyfully with pinked cheeks probably from the almost empty pint of beer in front of her. Marching through the place you slide into the booth joining the group of three.

“And there she is!” Piper cheers.

“We thought you’re gonna bail on us,” Abigail snickers and you just roll your eyes.

“I said I would come, just had some work to finish before,” you tell them, shaking your cardigan down your arms quickly, the air is thicker, mustier and much warmer in here, but it’s not surprising, the pub is packed, just as usual on a Friday evening.

“You work way too much,” Piper shakes her head in disapproval as she downs the rest of her drink.

“I’ll be working way less from September.”

“Yeah, but you’ll spend the rest of the week in school, so it’s gonna be the same!” Mona chimes in with furrowed eyebrows.

“They promised me a fat raise if I get this degree within the next three years, I could definitely use the extra cash so I can finally buy my own place soon,” you explain.

You know they understand the situation and they wish you the best. They want to see you succeed in life and in your career, they just love teasing you about how dedicated you are towards your work, having to say immediately yes when your boss told you you’d get a new position and a raise if you finish the masters you never got to two years ago. You already had a handful of credits done that you’ll be able to get accepted, meaning you only have about one year worth of credits to finish in two years while working. It might get a little overwhelming to have an almost fulltime job and go to school but you’re determined to do this.

“We know, we know,” Abigail chuckles. “Alright, no more work or school talk tonight. We are here to let loose, so let’s get another round!”

Soon enough you are nursing a beer of your own, enjoying your time with your friends. It’s been long all four of you were free on the same night. Piper got married last year, Abigail’s work forces her to travel around a lot and Mona has a bitch of a boss, making her work overtime a lot, so it’s been hard to fix up a date that fits everyone. It’s been like this since you all finished your bachelors three years ago. You like to think you’re still a fresh little young adult who just barely stepped out into the big world, but it’s not true, hasn’t been for a while. You’re 24, you have a career, you live on your own, you take care of yourself fully. You are an adult, whether you like it or not.

Drink after drink, the four of you are getting tipsy, having an amazing time talking about the stories you shared back in university. Piper was your roommate first year uni, Mona and Abigail were in the room next to yours and you quickly became close friends, moved in for the rest of your studies until you all went your own ways after graduation, but keeping in touch as much as possible.

“I’m gonna get another one, but that’s gonna be my last one, because I have some work to finish in the morning,” you announce climbing out of the booth.

“No work talk!” Mona and Abigail shout at the same time making you laugh as you just wave them off and head to the bar.

You’ve been waiting for the line to get shorter, now only a few people are lingering around so you patiently wait for your turn, clutching onto your card in your hand. You don’t pay much attention to the tall guy next to you, only when someone bumps into you from behind and makes you fall against his side.

“Oh shoot, sorry! Someone pushed me,” you apologize immediately as the guy looks at you over his broad shoulder and your gaze meets a pair of green eyes framed with long lashes and a curious look in them.

“No worries, Love,” he smiles and you almost gasp at the British accent that laces through his voice. You take a quick moment to inspect the man, he is standing almost a full head above you, wearing a simple black shirt and brown slacks, a set of bulky rings sitting on his fingers that are spread out on the counter in front of him, his whole left arm covered in ink and you feel the urge to examine every figure on his golden skin. His chocolate curls are kind of a mess, but still look well placed, you bet he is the type who only runs his fingers through his hair and makes it look breathtaking. He is handsome and definitely your type, looks older than you, but you wouldn’t think he is over thirty.

“What’s your order?” he asks and your eyes snap up to him, realizing he is still looking at you.

“Huh?”

“What’s your order? I’ll get it for you so you don’t have to wait longer.” “Oh, I’ll just have a stout,” you tell him, feeling a little flushed from his offer. His eyebrows rise in surprise. “What?”

“Didn’t take you as a stout person is all,” he smirks at you as the bartender appears in front of him with his drink, asking if he wants anything else. “And a stout, please.” The guy nods and disappears to get your drink.

“I uhh—I only have card though,” you speak up realizing you can’t pay it back to him.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s on me.”

“Oh, no, that wouldn’t be fair,” you protest and he seems amused that you don’t just let him pay for your drink.

“How about this: you pay for the next round. Me and my mates are sitting over there, just come over when you finish this,” he offers, pointing at two guys sitting a few booths away from you and your friends.

“This was supposed to be my last round. I have to work in the morning,” you breathe out tilting your head.

“What? Work on Saturday? What kind of job is so cruel to make you work on a Saturday morning?” he asks with a boyish smile.

“One that pays my bills and most importantly my beer,” you chuckle softly.

“Okay, then make it just a soda,” he cheekily says and you feel giddy that this man is so keen on having another drink with you.

“I guess that could work,” you smile just as the bartender appears with your drink and the handsome man pays for the drinks, just then you realize you don’t even know his name. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” you tell him taking your beer. He tugs his wallet into his pocket before holding a hand out for you.

“Harry. Nice to meet you,” he smiles warmly and the moment you take his hand, you feel the tiny sparks. This man is surely something else. “I’ll be waiting for our next round,” he cheekily tells you raising his glass before the two of you part and go back to your own groups. As expected, your friends are already waiting for you with wide eyes and excitement, having witnessed your little chat with Harry at the bar.

“Who was that?! No, wait, it doesn’t matter. You need to go home with him!” Abigail smacks her hand to the table earning a chuckle from you.

“Don’t be dramatic, I just met him.”

“And you have to get to know him better. Deeper, you know what I mean?” Mona prompts.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you all. He is hot, but I’m not looking to day anyone right now.”

“You know, it’s starting to get boring to hear you say that you are just working on yourself these days. That’s not what you’re doing,” Piper gives you a look. “You are wasting your time on work and school and all these stuff that will be there when you’re older. Live a little, Y/N!” she begs.

“You guys make me appear like a no fun bitch, but that’s not who I am!” you defend yourself, though you know they just want the best for you.

“A fun bitch would ditch us right now and go over to their booth and then ride his dick all night.”

You gasp at the unfiltered answer you just heard from Mona, but deep down, you know she is right. You haven’t really let yourself be a little crazy in a while, your one night stands stopped the moment you graduated and stepped into the world of work. It just didn’t fit into your everydays, you had a lot to worry about, making a living and keeping your life on track, but you have it all now. What’s stopping you from hooking up with a cute guy?

“I’m not gonna just ditch you guys, came here to spend time with you!”

“Shut up, we are leaving then,” Abigail snaps, downing the rest of her drink in a blink of an eye and for a moment you’re speechless.

“What? No! We never get to spend quality time together, all four of us!”

“Honey,” Mona sighs. “We love you and we know you need this. So go, get the tatted hottie and we’ll meet up another time when you’ll get to tell us all about how good the D was.”

“Jesus, you guys are unbelievable,” you chuckle shaking your head, accepting the fact that they are really forcing you to do this.

They all quickly finish their drinks and get ready to leave, hugging you before they exit the place, leaving you alone in the booth. Staring down at the stout in front of you, feeling nervous to just walk up to the guys a few tables away, though Harry told you to go over, however he didn’t invite you to join their group, just promised another round.

You take a few long gulps, hoping the strong drink will bring out your courage and before you could talk yourself down you grab your bag and drink, heading over to Harry and his friends. He is sitting at the far end so he easily spots you walking over, perching up in his seat when he sees you approaching.

“Hey,” you greet them all with a shy smile, waving around. There’s a blond guy sitting across Harry and a brunette with equally as many tattoos on his arms as Harry.

“Hey, you haven’t finished your drink,” Harry observes with a small smirk.

“Um, no. But my friends left and I was wondering if I could… join you guys.”

“Oh, the honor is yours! Take a seat beautiful!” the blonde one immediately slides further into the booth so you can sit across Harry. “I’m Niall, what’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“So very nice to meet you,” he grins at you, words thick with Irish accent. “That’s Louis over there,” he gestures towards the third man who nods in your way with a welcoming smile.

“Hi. I’m hoping I’m not interrupting though.”

“Oh, never,” Niall shakes his head immediately. “We saw you chatting up Harry at the bar, have been teasing him about going up to you since then,” he cheekily comments and you see Harry giving him a look, but Niall couldn’t care less.

All three of them are hilarious and you love the dynamic in their friendship. Niall is clearly the loud one, Louis is the cheeky who is always up for some mischief and Harry is somewhat the serious bloke, but it’s clear he doesn’t say no to any crazy ideas his two friends make up. You love the teasing and joking, they make you feel welcomed and as if you’d known them for longer than just an hour. As promised, you pay for Harry’s next drink, but you stick to just a lemonade, not wanting to overstep your own boundaries.

All while you’re sitting with the guys, you keep catching Harry eyeing you, your gazes meet over your drinks and at one point you feel his leg finding yours under the table, your ankles pressing together as he nudges you with his feet. You feel like a giddy teenager flirting with her crush, Harry’s effect on you is probably very clear too, but you don’t care.

Louis is the first one to leave and Niall follows not long later, leaving you alone with Harry. The nerves are raging in you as you try to figure out which way to take it. Though he seems like a nice guy, you still don’t want to take it any further than a hookup. Dating is just not in the cards for you right now. But how do you imply a one night stand? Do you ask him to come to your place? Or do you go to his? You would rather go to his so you can sneak out first thing in the morning, spare you an awkward talk over breakfast before you leave.

“We should… get going too,” you suggest and Harry nods in agreement, finishing up the last gulps of his beer. You take a deep breath and decide to just be straight forward. “Maybe I could go to yours? Have another round there?” Your suggestion comes out fainter than you intended, but you still manage to sound confident. Harry seems a little surprised, but he doesn’t voice it.

“Another? Thought you were done for the night,” he tells with an amused smirk.

“I’m sure you have something alcohol free,” you shrug innocently.

“I surely do,” he nods. “Alright, let’s get going.

He calls an Uber and the two of you sit close in the car, thighs touching and at one point his large hand finds your thigh, squeezing it gently that sets a fire in your core almost immediately. It’s been long you’ve been touched by a man, you were starting to forget what it feels like, but you know Harry will remind you well about it.

He lives in a nice townhouse and you note how it’s not too far from the campus you’ll be going to a lot in a week. He keys the two of you in, switching the lights on in his cozy home. It’s not messy, more like lived in. A lot of books everywhere, the furniture doesn’t match, but all together, the whole place is pulled together somehow. It’s very like him.

“So, what would you like to drink?” he asks walking into the open concept kitchen, grabbing two glasses from the cupboard. “I have some tea, orange juice, water…”

As you watch his broad back, his muscles moving under the soft fabric of his shirt, you quickly forget about any drink. You want him and you want him now. Walking up to him you slide between him and the kitchen counter, catching him by surprise when you cup his face in your hands and pull him down into a hard kiss, but a moment later his arms wrap around you, lifting you up from the ground until you are sat on the counter. You open your knees so he stands between them, his crotch meeting yours as you kiss messily, all tongues, tugging and nipping, but oh my! You absolutely love it. The man has a mouth full of magic and you can only imagine what else he can do with those lips.

A whimpered moan leaves your mouth when you feel his growing bulge rub against your core as his lips travel down your jawline and throat, kissing and licking on your heated skin.

“Harry, bedroom,” you demand grabbing onto his shoulders and he doesn’t waste a moment, picking you up into his arms and heading somewhere down the hallway. You can’t quite comprehend what way it is, you’re way too lost in the feeling of his lips on your collarbone and neck, surely leaving marks on you.

He lays you down to a king sized bed and gets on top of you right away, following his wandering down your body. His ring clad fingers work fast on the hem of your shirt, pulling it off you in a moment before he kneels up and gets rid of his own shirt. He looks breathtaking, all the tattoos littering his chest and stomach, you just want to kiss all of them, feel his skin on your lips.

As he unbuckles his leather belt you push down your skinny jeans, throwing the item to the side without ever taking your hands off him. The man surely has all your attention.

When his slacks join the rest of your clothes on the floor he climbs on top of you again, kissing down the valley between your breasts that are still covered in the lacy bra. Your underwear doesn’t match, but something is telling you Harry is more eager to see you without them than to examine them. When he hooks his fingers into your panties and starts pulling them down, you reach to your back, unclasping the bra and in a blink of an eye, you’re lying completely naked in front of him.

“Fuck, you look so hot, Y/N,” he breathes out before those magical lips start working on your nipples, making you moan and whimper under him.

Kissing down your stomach he spreads your thighs wide, gazing down at your naked sex and for a moment you feel a little self-conscious, but the lust in Harry’s eyes quickly makes it disappear.

“You’re gonna let me have a taste, baby?” he murmurs, sending shivers down your spine as you nod eagerly.

He is not a tease. Harry dives right in, his lips meeting your clit, working his magic and you cry out his name, fingers tangling into his locks to keep him in place, not that he is about to stop anytime soon. He clearly enjoys pleasuring you.

“Oh fuck!” you gasp when his tongue runs down your slit and he slowly pushes into you, making your back arch. You need him inside you, you need him to fill you up right now or else you’ll burst. “Harry,” you breathe out, tugging on his shoulders, urging him to come back up.

He climbs up your body, a satisfied smirk on his glistening lips and when he kisses you hungrily, you can taste yourself on him.

“Condom,” you urge him, hands pushing down on his briefs, lips still locked as he reaches to the bedside table. You hear the familiar sound of the package ripping before he leans back, your eyes falling on his naked erection for the first time and your lips part seeing his cock, knowing already he’ll feel you up so well. He rolls the condom on easily before returning to you, but you don’t stay in that position too long. You want to ride this man, see him come undone under you. Being on top is already one of your favorite positions, but with Harry, you just know it’s going to be amazing.

You push on his shoulder and he understands your intention without a spoken word, so he rolls to his back and lets you straddle him, glancing down at his cock that’s now grazing his lower stomach, so hard and throbbing just for you. His fingers dig into your hips when you wrap a hand around his length, positioning him to your center.

“Oh fuck!” he moans when you ease down, his cock filling you up inch to inch, feeling so amazing like nothing before.

“Shit,” you breathe out gasping when you sit on him fully, taking his whole length inside you, stretching your insides so nicely, your wet walls hugging him perfectly.

“You feel so fucking good,” he murmurs lowly as you start buckling your hips, moving back and forth, up and down, the friction you’re creating swallowing you up entirely.

Harry can’t take his eyes off you, a hand wandering up to cup your breast and you cover his hand with yours, encouraging him to squeeze, making you moan passionately. He starts buckling his hips in sync with your movements, meeting you with every little thrust, hitting just the right spots, building up your orgasm so easily like no man has ever done before.

“Harry, oh God!” you moan, falling forward, leaning onto your arms next to his head, your lips meet in a hungry and demanding kiss as he wraps his arms around your body, thrusting up into you hard and so good, you whimper against his lips.

“You’re gonna cum for me, baby? I wanna see you feel good,” he pants, never slowing down. A few moments later he rolls the two of you around, your back hitting the sheets again as he moves one of your legs to rest on his shoulder, hitting a spot that almost makes you see stars.

“Oh yes! There! Don’t fucking stop!” you cry out so loud, you can only hope the walls are thick enough to keep your voice locked in the room.

“Not planning to,” he chuckles shortly before burying his face in the crook of your neck. You hold onto him for dear life, fingers digging into his sweaty skin, feeling as if you are melting into him.

Harry rocks into you relentlessly, your toes curling as you feel your orgasm finally arriving, making you gasp for air.

“Harry! I’m gonna cum!” you moan and he lifts his head, never stopping, not even for a second. His green eyes lock on your gaze, curls flopping into his forehead as he watches you in awe.

“Let it go for me, baby. Cum all over me, I wanna see how good I’m making you feel.”

“So fucking good!”

He picks up his pace just enough to make you lose your mind. It hits you like a pile of bricks, your orgasm washing over you in intense waves as you moan his name again and again. Your walls clench around him and it’s enough to throw him over the edge as well. His thrusts become uncoordinated and harder as his mouth hangs open.

“Fuck, Y/N! You feel so fucking amazing!” he whimpers through his pleasure and you watch him fall apart, panting and gasping for air, trying to remember every little detail about him. This is an experience you surely won’t forget and will probably fantasize about a lot when you’re alone at home, playing with yourself, seeking release.

A few more sloppy thrusts later he stops, kissing your lips passionately before he pulls out and falls to the mattress next to you. You both need a few minutes to recover from it, just panting and laying numbly next to each other, Harry’s arm thrown over your stomach. You turn to the side and immediately meet his glistening eyes, filled with satisfaction and bliss. When he finally recollects himself he pecks your lips softly before leaving the bed. You watch him remove the used condom, tie it and toss it into the small trash can near his dressed before he moves to the bathroom. When he reappears, he is wearing a fresh pair of boxers and he has a wet washcloth in his hand. Sitting beside you he gently cleans you up as you murmur your thank you.

“Want something to sleep in?” he asks then and you nod. He grabs you a t-shirt and a pair of loose shorts that you put on gladly. They smell exactly like him, soap, something citrus-like and a hint of anise.

He returns to bed and pulls you into his embrace, you gladly make yourself comfortable curled up to his side. Lying there, feeling his fingers gently running up and down your arm almost makes you want more from him. You could get used to share a bed with him and it’s not just because of the mind-blowing sex, but he is a lovable person. You feel bad you’re planning to leave without a trace in the morning, but then you tell yourself it’s what has to happen.

Harry doses off soon and you follow him right after, the warmth of his body puts you to sleep easily. When you wake up it’s still clearly early. Harry is sleeping soundly next to you, face squished into the pillow and you almost stay, wanting to see what he’s like in the morning, but you don’t let yourself change your mind.

You get dressed into your own clothes and leave the ones he lent you on top of his dresser. You tiptoe out of his room and grab your bag before looking for a piece of paper and a pen. You quickly scribble down a short note for him.

“Had fun last night. Hope you won’t be mad, but I only saw it as a one night stand. You’re an amazing man, Harry. I’m glad we met. Xx  –Y/N”

It’s more than nothing, than leaving without a word and you don’t let the guilt take over you. Taking one last look around, glancing in the way of the bedroom where he is still asleep, you pack it all up and put it to the back of your mind before walking out.

The last week before your classes start passes by faster than you imagined. It’s your last week fully in the office so you try to work a little ahead, staying in afterhours so you won’t have that much to take care of while you get used to being a uni student again. You usually get home after nine and basically fall into bed right away, and you even work during the weekend before the Monday when school starts. You go to bed way too late so it’s not a surprise you wake up late. You get ready in a rush, throwing out your plan to get a coffee on your way out the window since you are way behind time. Running across campus you’re lucky you already know your way around so you don’t have to wander around, looking for the room you have to be at, but even when you finally reach the right hallway you’re ten minutes late to the class.

Introduction to International Relations, held by Prof. Styles, 8.30-10.00, it reads on the little timetable attached to the way next to the closed doors and you pray the man didn’t start in time, so you’d be late with just a few minutes. Taking a deep breath you push the door open trying to make no sound and unfortunately, you are met with an auditorium full of people, everyone looking at you as if it was against the law to be a little late to class.

What the Hell is wrong with students these days? Being late was usual when I was a freshman, you think to yourself as you step inside, closing the door behind you, getting ready to apologize to the professor.

“I’m so sorry, Professor Styles, I—Shit,” you end your sentence with a whisper as your eyes fall on the man standing on the podium. He hasn’t turned to you, his eyes are fixed on a paper in his hand, probably the syllabus because he must have been in the middle of introducing the class, but the sudden whispering that starts upon your apology that turned into shit, he finally looks up and his eyes fall on your frozen figure.

Professor Styles is none other than Harry. As in The Harry you met at the pub a week ago, had the best sex with and left without leaving your number to him in the morning. Now he is staring back at you with the same amount of panic and surprise as you.

“What—I uhh…” He clears his throat, looking around and seeing about a hundred pairs of curious eyes who are witnessing the awkward run-in. “Take a seat,” he then firmly says, clenching his jaw as you nod.

With your heart beating in your throat you keep your eyes down on your feet as you rush over to a free seat somewhere at the front, since the back is already kinda full.

“So, uhh—As I was saying this is an introduction so we’ll talk about a lot of different topics, I want you to have a view of the most important aspects before moving onto separate fields.”

You don’t dare to look up as Harry talks about the class, the syllabus, how the semester will be built up and what you’ll have to do to pass. Scribbling your wobbly notes, you nervously bounce your legs under the desk, flashbacks from your time with him popping into your mind through the whole lecture.

This feels like something straight out of a ridiculous movie. How is it possible, that the one time you finally decide to have a one night stand with a hot guy, he turns out to be your professor?! That’s just your luck, it seems.

Harry doesn’t drag the lecture long, dismisses everyone after an hour once every question has been answered. You plan to escape right away, but it turns out Harry doesn’t want to just sweep it under the rug.

“Can I have a word with you?” he asks stepping to your desk as you are furiously shoving your stuff into your bag.

“Uh, sure,” you nod, not like you have a choice. You’d love to run, but he is your professor, it would sit well if you ditched him on the first day of school.

You slow your packing down so you finish right when the last student has left the room. Grabbing your bag you turn to face Harry who now seems furious, vivid if you might say. He strides over to the door and shuts it before facing you.

“You said you’re working!” is the first thing he throws at you, making you raise your eyebrows.

“Because I am! I’m finishing my masters so I can get a promotion!” you defend yourself.

“Wait, so how old are you?” he asks with a puzzled look.

“I’m twenty-four, what did you think?” You feel offended, did he think you were younger or older? Neither would sit well anyway, so there’s no good answer.

“I-I don’t know, but when you walked right into my class I surely thought you were twenty or something,” he explains exhaling sharply. “Okay, so twenty-four. But still, you could have told me you are a student here.”

“Excuse you? Why would have I told you, we met that night, of course I didn’t share my whole fucking life with you! Besides, you didn’t say a thing about being a college professor either,” you spat at him and it seems like he realizes your argument is quite valid. He can’t blame it all on you.

“Okay, you’re right. Sorry.”

There’s a short silence as the anger dies down and the awkwardness and shock returns. It’s such an impossible situation, you never thought you’d have to deal with anything similar. Having an affair with your professor? This shit is straight out of some teenage drama.

“I can… drop the lecture, if you want. Only took it as extra credit, because I was interested in it,” you offer the first rational option that comes to your mind.

“No, I mean… you don’t have to. Messing around with credits at this time sucks, you wouldn’t be able to find something else.”

“Okay, so then what?”

“I guess we’ll just pretend like nothing happened,” he shrugs before his eyes meet yours. “Like you did in the morning when you left without leaving your number.”

His comment spikes, you can tell he was hurt that you didn’t stay, though now is probably not the best time to bring it up.

“Well, sorry. I didn’t think of it as more,” you dryly say.

“That’s not how you came off, however. Having laughs with me and my friends like we’ve known each other for years and then…” he doesn’t finish, but you have an idea what he wanted to say. And then you had insanely good sex and fell asleep cuddling. It feels illegal to even think about it in this building.

“Look, I’m really sorry I left like that, but look at it this way: if we would have taken it further, it would be way worse now, wouldn’t it?”

“Maybe we would have talked more later and found out about this and wouldn’t have had to face each other under these circumstances.”

He has a point, but it doesn’t matter now. The past is the past and you have to figure out how to treat this odd situation.

“You think you can forget about it and we can be professional? I really don’t want this to affect my studies,” you truthfully ask. Harry stares at you for a long moment before nodding.

“I think we can make it work. We are both adults, let’s put it behind us.” You nod, satisfied with his answer. “So what’s your major and why do you need it for your job?”

“It’s communication. I’m set to take over our international partnership groups, but the board is set on having someone with a higher degree. I told my boss I started it back then but never finished when I started working. He said I would instantly get the position if I finished my masters, so… here I am.”

Harry nods, chewing on your answer. Suddenly, as you look at him, guilt washes over you. He is such a genuine and lovely man, yet you left so abruptly, never even giving him a chance. Not that it would have made this situation any different, but it seems like you hurt him.

“Harry, I really am sorry for leaving. I had a great time with you, but I don’t think dating just fits into my life right now. I felt like you’d want more and I didn’t want to deal with all the explaining and apologizing.”

“I get it. It just would have been nicer to talk it out. Not that it makes a change now,” he adds with a soft smile.

“So we’re good?” you ask hopefully.

“Yeah. Professional and all,” he smiles nodding and you feel like a rock has been lifted off your shoulders.

“Great. Well, I guess I’ll see you later, professor,” you add a little cheekily and you see the fire in his eyes instantly, but he holds his tongue, not commenting on how sexual it sounds from your mouth. You couldn’t miss out on the teasing.

“Dismissed,” he nods turning away from you as he walks back to his desk. You walk out with the longest sigh that’s ever left your lips.

“Professor Styles! You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Piper screams at you over Facetime later that week when the two of you have your usual little chat. You’re making dinner while she lies on her couch, staring at you from the screen with the widest eyes. You just told him the whole thing with Harry and she almost choked. “The man is a professor? This shit is wild!” “Not just a professor, he is my fucking teacher, Piper!” you chuckle awkwardly. You still haven’t fully wrapped your mind around the fact that you hooked up with your professor.

“How old is the dude to be teaching at a university?”

“Well, he said he is twenty-nine. I might have done a little search and since he is british, schooling was a little different for him. Apparently, he finished high school early as a fucking genius that he is, then uni, masters and everything. He started teaching at my school two years ago. The guy is like a big name in the field of social sciences.”

“Damn, he is a gem. So what’s gonna happen now? Y’all gonna fuck on his desk after class?”

“Piper!” you snap at her.

“What? I hope you’re not thinking about passing on him.”

“I passed on him way before I knew he was my professor. We can’t have anything going on because one, he is my professor and two, because I’m not looking for anyone to date.”

“You are so full of bullshit, Y/N,” she snorts. “So what if he is your professor? Just for this semester. Keep it a secret and then it’s done. You’re not some eighteen year-old freshman, he is just five years older than you.”

“You can’t be serious,” you shake your head. “I’m not going to have an affair with my teacher.”

“Not an affair, a relationship! You gotta hold onto good dick if you find one. This is what I did with Ronan,” she smirks satisfied.

“Yeah, it’s not happening.”

“Why not?”

“Piper, have you been listening to what I was saying?” you ask in disbelief. “Yeah, five years is not much, but I’m pretty sure there’s a rule against teachers dating students.”

“Rules are for losers. You literally found the perfect guy and you’ll just throw him away? Said it yourself after your hookup that you liked the guy. Why are you being so difficult?”

“Sorry for not wanting to get myself or Harry out of the university,” you scoff turning the stove off under the sauce before you burn it all.

“Harry? So you’re just calling him Harry?” Piper wiggles her eyebrows at you, leaning closer to the camera and you just groan at her. How was this the only thing that stuck to her?

“I can’t fucking believe you,” you mumble under your breath.

“Okay, yeah, I get you. I truly do. But I’m also your friend who wants to see you happy. So I’m just saying that if he makes a move… be open. He is your professor for only one semester, so once it’s over you are free to do whatever. Fuck, date, anything.”

Soon enough you fall into a pattern with your everydays. Mondays, Tuesdays and Friday mornings are for school. Wednesdays and Thursdays are spent on campus at your lectures and you usually go into the office on Friday afternoons to make sure everything works fine before you go off for the weekend. Having so many credits accepted from before, you have less classes meaning that you have less work to do with school as well. There are a few papers and assignments, but nothing too crazy. You genuinely enjoy your classes, each of them unique in a different way but if you’re being honest, Harry’s class is your favorite. He has done a great job at building up the lectures. Introduction classes tend to be shallow and boring, but not Harry’s. He has chosen interesting but still important topics and he makes sure the students are always involved and he isn’t just reading up his slides dully. There are a lot of discussions, everyone gets to tell their opinion and Harry genuinely seems interested in anything his students have to say.

You also came to realize his class is full of girls, only a handful of men dared to sign up. You didn’t pay attention the first time for obvious reasons, but as you looked around the next week you saw heart eyes and lustful gazes towards the man standing on the podium talking. You’re not sure if Harry doesn’t notice it or just chooses to ignore it, but he is doing a good job at staying professional. In the aspect of your situation as well.

For a bit you were afraid he would have hard feelings towards you or treat you differently, but it’s not the case. You are just another pair of curious eyes and ears at his lectures, only that sometimes you catch yourself daydreaming about that one night. When that happens you can always feel yourself blushing and an irrational fear that Harry can hear your thoughts invades your mind, though it’s stupid. But you always try to stay low just in case.

 It’s early October when an unexpected project lands in your hands at work, setting you back in your schedule. You work through the weekend just to get it right but that means that you couldn’t start working on your paper for Harry’s class that has to be turned in by the end of the week. So next Monday morning when class is over you walk up to him to ask for some more time.

“Hey, can I have a word with you?” you ask and as he glances up at you he seems surprised you initiated a private conversation.

“Sure, what’s the matter?”

“I just wanted to ask if I could have just a little more time to turn my paper in. I know it’s due Friday, but I’m a little behind and it would be amazing if I could work on it on the weekend. I’m sure I’d be done by next Monday.”

You’re afraid he might think you want to use your history and take advantage of it, but it seems like Harry looks more concerned than upset about your request.

“Yeah, sure. Everything alright though?”

Your eyes wander around the room, only a few more people are left inside and they are heading out as well. For some reason, you are a little paranoid that someone might figure out what happened between you and Harry though it’s nearly impossible.

“I’m good, I just got some extra work last week and it totally threw me off.”

“Oh, what kind of project?”

“I just have to put together a communication plan for three of our partners and it’s taking way more time than I expected,” you admit with a chuckle.

“I think I have an amazing book about international communication plans. I could lend it to you, if you’d like. It has amazing tips on sustainability.”

“That would be… amazing,” you say, surprised by his nice offer.

“Are you on campus tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I have a lecture. I can come by your office.”

“Fantastic,” he smiles warmly. “And don’t worry about the paper. You’re not the first one to ask for more time. If you hand it in on Monday it’s gonna be perfectly fine,” he assures you.

“Thank you Harry. I-I mean Professor Styles,” you correct yourself, feeling awkward that you called him by his first name, but he just chuckles.

“You can call me Harry outside class.” “Okay,” you smile nodding. “Then, see you tomorrow,” you say as you leave the room.

You spend the rest of the day working unfortunately, still a lot to do with your project. It’s hard to harmonize three different companies from three nations, working in different time zones. The next day you decide to skip your lecture in the noon. The professor is not too strict on attendance so you’re just gonna find a nice coffee place, set up a temporary office and work some more so you can finish everything on time.

You find Harry’s office easily. The door is open and you spot him sitting behind his desk right away, searching for something in a stack of papers. His office resembles a lot to his home, it has a cozy vibe but looks still very much academic with all the books lining on the shelves on the two sides of his desk. You knock on the doorframe as you arrive and his green eyes shoot up to your figure.

“Hey! Come on in!” he smiles at you. “Just a moment please,” he asks, still vigorously flipping the pages until he finally stops. “Here it is, I’ve been looking for it for ages,” he mumbles to himself and you smile. He looks a lot like the version of him you met at the bar. A fun, nice guy, clearly a little lost in his own world, but it amuses you rather then annoys. You wonder what could be happening in that brilliant mind of his.

He pushes himself away from the table and walks over to his bag that lies on the small sofa in the corner. Digging into it he pulls out a thick book that he hands over to you.

“Wow, lengthy,” you chuckle as you flip through the pages quickly.

“Yeah, looks a little dry but I promise it’s good. I put a note to the chapters that are the most relevant to you,” he explains and just then you spot a yellow post-it on one of the pages, a few more following behind.

“Oh, thank you. That’s really nice of you.” You smile up at him warmly, holding the book to your chest. “I’ll bring it back as soon as I’m done.”

“Take your time,” he nods. “And how is it going so far?”

“Uh, it’s… going,” you say with a tired chuckle. “It’s a little tricky, but I’m sure I’ll solve it. I’m gonna work some more on it now, so hopefully I’ll be done within the next few days.”

“You’re not going to class?”

“No, I allowed myself a skip this week so I’m gonna find a café or something.”

“You could… stay here, if you’d like. I could even help if you let me have a look at it. I mean I’m not an expert in communication but I’m good with multicultural stuff.” His offer catches you by surprise and for a moment you want to say no, but then you realize he might actually be helpful. Another set of eyes is always beneficial.

“You don’t have a class?”

“Not until four, no.”

“And you sure I can stay? I don’t want to bother you.”

“You’re not. Please, I would love to take a look at what you’ve put together.”

You hesitate for another moment, but then let your bag slip off your shoulder as you walk over to the armchair in front of his desk.

You pull your laptop out of your bag and set it on the table so both of you can see from the two sides of the desk. You open up what you have so far, explaining it in details and Harry listens intently, nodding and humming along so you know he is following. At the end you tell him your concerns, the ones you’ve been trying to rule out these past few days so you can finish it all up.

“This looks amazing, Y/N. I’m very impressed by the way you synchronized it all.” “Thank you, but it’s not perfect, so I have a lot to work on. Any thoughts though?”

Harry asks you a few questions before he gives his two cents, telling you what he would do and change. His point of view actually helps a lot, allows you to see the whole thing from a different angle and he gives you some awesome tips. Before you could realize, the two of you are deep in the project, all kinds of books splattered across his desks as you work together to finish the thing. Two hours pass by as it was just two minutes, but at the end, you have it all figured out.

“Oh my God. I can’t believe it’s done!” you breathe out, scrolling through the document you put together for your boss. Everything is put together, well-thought and in place, thanks to Harry’s help. “Harry, thank you. You literally saved my life,” you chuckle softly, leaning back in the armchair you haven’t left in hours.

“You had a strong base, I just helped you find a few solutions, but it was all you.”

“Don’t belittle it, you literally had so many ideas even in fields you are not familiar with. You really are a genius.”

“I’m just good at using my sources,” he smiles at you, glancing down at all the books he has pulled out during the process. “It was fun working on something so practical, I’m way too used to literal things.”

“Oh stop, you want me to feel bad because you are this ridiculously smart college professor who doesn’t get to work on practical projects?” you tease him earning a boyish smile.

“Maybe I do want that.”

“Well, you’re not getting it,” you laugh and he joins you. Once the mood settles you realize how good it felt to be around him. The dynamic the two of you had was so great, working with him felt like a fun activity. And now that you’re done, you really don’t want to leave this office though you know you have to.

“You know, I might come to you with work stuff all the time. You just spared so much time for me, I really thought I wouldn’t finish before Friday.”

“My door is always open,” he smirks shrugging. “I’m glad we got to work together. You really are great at what you are doing. Your boss is lucky to have you around. I’m sure you’ll be an amazing group leader once you get your degree.”

“Thank you.”

His compliment actually means a lot. Aside from this weird situation, Harry is a brilliant mind in his field. Hearing him tell you that he thinks you are doing an amazing work is such a boost to your ego.

“Well, I owe you one for this,” you tell him as you start packing up.

“Yeah? I’ll keep that in mind for sure,” he smirks, watching you put your things away.

“Mhm, see you around, Harry,” you smile, waving in his way before walking out.

“See you, Y/N.”

Thanks to Harry you get to turn in your project in time and write his paper until the original due date as well. You send it in email and for your biggest surprise he answers later that day.

“Glad you could finish in time, can’t wait to read your thoughts on the topic! –H”

It’s a simple message, but what catches your eyes is the signature at the end. It reads his full name, Prof. Harry Edward Styles, the school’s name, his official office hours and at the very end… his phone number.

Looking at it you think it seems a little out of place, as if it doesn’t belong there originally, he just added it to your email, but you can’t tell. Is this a hint? Does he want you to call or text him? What if he puts it into every email, not just yours? Would it be awkward to text? Why do you even want to text him in the first place? You agreed to stay away from him!

It keeps eating you the whole evening, staying on your mind, doesn’t matter what you do. After you’ve drunk a glass of wine with your dinner you finally make up your mind, convincing yourself it’s strictly friendly as you type in the words.

Y/N: Turned my project in, my boss already emailed me he likes it so far. Thanks for the help again. –Y/N

His reply comes fast and luckily, he doesn’t question why you decided to text him.

Harry: Glad I could help! Ran over your paper, looks great too. You’re doing an amazing job, Y/N.

There’s no stopping after that. The two of you keep talking through texts and though it’s all casual and friendly, you don’t feel bad about it, because in class, you still keep it professional and you have no advantage. He treats you just like any other student, keeping your friendship away from whatever happens in the classroom.

The line slowly starts to blur, however. You think way more about Harry than you should and you actually find yourself regretting that you’re not able to get as close to him as you want. He fascinates and attracts you in ways no one ever could before and something is telling you he shares these feelings, but you are both keeping it at bay, afraid what would happen if you let your desires take the lead. You just wish you could go out with him, have drinks with him and his friends like the night you met him, forget about how he would always stand on the podium on Monday morning no matter what happens and he’ll be grading your papers. Mixing feelings with this impossible situation might turn it into a disaster and you know you have to stay strong, but it’s getting harder.

Harry is the kind of teacher who likes to finish his class before everyone else, so when December rolls around everyone already has their grades from the papers that had to be turned in through the semester, so when December rolls around it’s all just free talks, he starts interesting discussions about topics students want to talk about. His lectures feel like free time but still, no one skips them because they are always so entertaining and interesting.

“Alright, we’ll meet for the last time next week. As per suggested, we’ll talk about the European Union so get your questions and thoughts ready,” he smiles around, ending the lecture. “Y/N? Can we talk for a second?”

“Sure,” you smile at him. Putting your things away you walk up to his desk much more carelessly than before.

“So I have a question and you can totally tell me if you don’t want to go, but there’s this great International Affairs Summit next weekend just a few towns over, not more than a two hours ride. I thought that you might be interested in going? They’ll have some awesome presentations and displays, thought it might interest you.”

For the first time since you’ve met him, he seems nervous, stumbling over his words a little as he avoids looking into your eyes. He looks so much younger, not at all like the respected professor that he is. He is just Harry now, the guy you bonded over that stout he paid for.

“Sounds nice,” you answer smiling at him, he seems surprised at your answer. “I would love to go.”

“Really?” You chuckle at his disbelief.

“Really.”

“Just to be clear it’s not a school thing, it’s gonna be the two of us,” he clears and your grin widens.

“It’s clear. Still want to go.”

“Amazing,” he breathes out, a smile finally tugging on his lips. “I can pick you up in the morning.”

“Sure. Can we discuss the details in text? I have a meeting soon.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. We’ll talk later,” he nods enthusiastically, seemingly very joyful that you agreed to go on this trip with him.

“See you later, Harry!” you wave at him walking out of the classroom.

“Later!”

Piper would be very satisfied to know that you are going away with Harry this weekend. Though you still try to tell yourself it’s nothing more than just a friendly thing, you’re not fooling yourself. You want it to be more and now that the semester is over, your doubts and fears are almost fully forgotten and left at the beginning of September. Soon Harry won’t be your professor and you now see that it wouldn’t be that bad if something more happened between the two of you. You grew close through the year even though you only kept in touch through phone, appearing publicly wasn’t really an option, but still, you got to know him better and you liked him. A lot. There was no use in denying that.

Harry picks you up early in the morning and so the little trip begins. You take control over the music and play some of your favorites to him while he drives, educating him on recent popular music. Then he shows you some of his favorites, playing a lot of Fleetwood Mac and you weren’t expecting anything else from him.

He looks great today in a creamy colored knitted sweater, black wool coat and grey checkered slacks. His hair is now longer than when you met him for the first time, but it just adds to his amazing look, he rocks it pretty well.

The two hours pass by fast and you arrive to the Summit. Checking out the program the two of you choose the presentations you’re most interested in, leaving some time in the middle of the day to have lunch somewhere near.

You choose a sandwich bar that has a nice winter garden at the back looking out to a little pond. You sit at a small table, the conversation hasn’t stopped since the morning, only paused when the presentations were happening, but you always picked up right where you were before. Harry tells you about his time at university back in the UK and you’re a little surprised to hear that he was kind of a wild kid for a while.

“You? Wild?” you laugh. “I can’t picture it.

“It was mostly the first year though. Felt like I can’t miss out on anything so I was at every party and gathering,” he chuckles softly.

“And why did you stop?” “I don’t know,” he shrugs, but you know he is not telling you the truth, so you gently kick his leg under the table. “Alright, but you can’t laugh!”

“I won’t, I promise!”

“It sounds very nerdy, but I fell in love with studying. I mean I was always a good student, that’s why I could finish high school earlier, but I did it to be done with it already. But then I grew an odd love to studying, to learning new things. I wanted to read every book there is, know everything in the world.”

“And do you know everything now?” you ask with a soft smile, completely in awe with how he talks about his passion for sciences. You don’t find it funny at all, more admirable.

“Not even a fraction of it,” he chuckles. “But I learn something new every day,” he shrugs.

“What did you learn today?”

“That Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus had… beef?” He is a little unsure about the last word that you taught him today in the car when you were listening to a song from Miley. It sounds so funny hearing from his mouth.

“Yeah, beef,” you nod chuckling. “Great knowledge you’ve learned today.”

“I learn a lot from you,” he smiles cheekily. “But really. I’m glad you could come today. Felt like I needed to take this step since you took the one before this.”

“Huh?” you ask, a little confused about what he is talking about. Then, as if he realizes he just said something he shouldn’t have, he chuckles nervously, keeping his eyes on his iced tea on the table.

“Well, I hope this won’t be too weird, but when you emailed me your paper back in October and I replied… I put my phone number into my signature and told myself that if you use it, I’ll take it as a hint that you… are open to more. And you did send me a text, took the risk so I thought I should be taking it next.”

You look at him in awe. So you were right, he did put his number in just for you and wanted you to use it. You’re amazed at how sneaky he was to find out how you’re feeling about him, but now you’re glad you took the risk and texted him.

“So you asked me to come today. I see where we are standing,” you nod smirking.

“You’re not mad? At the number thing?”

“Why would I?” you ask with a soft chuckle. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yes, but we agreed to keep it professional and all along I yearned for something more and threw you this hint. When I sent the email I wanted to take it back immediately, thinking that you’d see through me right away,” he admits.

“Well, I didn’t,” you tell him making him laugh. “I debated for a long time whether I should text you or not and then just… said fuck it!”

“I’m glad you did,” he smirks and his gaze holds yours for a little, you can feel the moment you’re sharing. This conversation has definitely opened a door for the two of you.

The rest of the day passes by peacefully. You love having Harry with you and discuss the presentations with him later. He has a great mind, you love sharing your thoughts with him, get deep whenever something really catches your attention. It’s so easy to talk to him and you actually feel like he values your thoughts, unlike some men you had to deal with in the past.

During the ride back home you keep thinking about whether you should take it any further or not. You surely don’t want him to be just a one night stand anymore, it’s still very fresh but you actually feel like you’ve started falling for him and you wonder where he is standing in the situation right now. Today has changed a lot so when he parks in front of your building, you decide to just risk it again, like you did it so many times with him.

“Would you want to come up for a little? I could show you that article I talked about today,” you say, trying to sound calm though you see the surprise in his eyes, he wasn’t expecting this invitation.

“I… would love to. You sure it’s not too late?”

“Positive,” you smirk at him unbuckling yourself.

He follows you up to your apartment. It’s definitely not as big as his home, but you take pride in it. It’s the perfect size for you and you’ve worked a lot on making it your home. Harry is looking around, inspecting the place as you walk into the small kitchen and grab two bottles of beer, offering one for him.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, following you to sit on the plush couch you adore so much. It feels like a cloud is swallowing you up. “This place suits you.”

“Thanks. You know, this is what I thought about yours too.”

“Yeah? I think mine is just a mess,” he chuckles, taking a sib from his beer.

“It’s a good mess. Liked it.”

There is some tension, but in a good way if you might say. As if you both were unsure about where it’s heading, walking on eggshells, not knowing where the boundaries are lying as of right now.

“You know, the semester is almost over,” you imply, giving him an innocent look.

“I’m very much aware of that, the pile of tests on my desk waiting to be graded reminds me every day of it,” he chuckles making you smile too.

“Mhm and it also means that very soon you won’t be my professor anymore.”

You scoot closer, your knees coming in contact with his thigh and he sucks on his breath, looking down at the spot where you two touch. You really hope he won’t turn you down, because you’ve already gotten your hopes up about making it work.

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” you nod confidently. He doesn’t move and you’re losing patience. So grabbing his beer from his hand you place his and yours as well to the small coffee table before shamelessly swinging a leg over him, sitting on his lap. Your hands rest on his broad shoulders and his hands immediately find their way to your waist, his thumb caressing the skin that shows from under your ridden up shirt. However you see hesitation in his eyes.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on in your head, talk to me,” you ask him softly, tilting your head to the side.

“I just… I know soon it’s gonna be alright for us to… you know. But I… I hope you know it’s not a game for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“That I’m all in, Y/N. I know it’s been a crazy few months, but I really like you. A lot. I love talking to you, I love it when you are talking so passionately about things that interest you. I love how open and hardworking you are. I think that you’re an amazing person and I don’t want this to just be some passing, quick thing. I’m serious about this. About you.”

You can’t hold your growing smile back as your hands move up to cup his cheeks. Leaning closer you peck his lips softly.

“Great. Because I’m serious too.”

Harry breathes out in relief and a second later he is kissing you hungrily, letting his desire take over after holding back for so long. You weren’t the only one having a hard time during lectures. He hated how he always found himself looking in your way, thinking about how beautiful you are, how amazing it felt to hold you in his arms and it ached his heart that he had to keep himself so far away from you. When you took the risk and texted him, he could cry in excitement and he knew right in that moment that he is fucked for you.

Though it started a little rocky, now that he has you in his arms again, he wouldn’t change a thing, because it brought him to this very moment and he is overwhelmed with joy. He is more than ready to show you how serious he is about you, not just with his words but his actions, so he is quick to leave the couch and navigate into your bedroom to relive that mind-blowing night the two of you shared back in late August.

“Congrats, Miss Y/L/N. We are looking forward to seeing you work your magic as the leader of the group.” The executive manager shakes your hand and you see your boss from the corner of your eye, looking at you proudly.

“Thank you. I won’t disappoint,” you smile back.

You say your goodbye to everyone else in the room before finally heading out with the widest smile on your face. You did it. You finally got the promotion.

You finished your masters just a month ago and this meeting was scheduled almost immediately. For a while you were afraid they wouldn’t wait until you finish your studies, but they proved that they wanted no one else but you, making you feel so valued.

Walking back to your office you do the rest of your work left for the day, finishing up every pending task so you can be free for the weekend. When five o’clock finally comes you pack up and head out. Pushing through the double doors you step out into the warm July afternoon, immediately spotting a mop of curls you know all too well. Harry is waiting for you leant against his car with a huge bouquet of flowers, smiling at you with pride as he watches you cross the parking lot.

“What’s this for?” you ask teasingly when he pushes himself away from the car and kisses you softly before saying anything.

“A little something to celebrate your promotion.”

“How do you know I got it?” you ask, trying your best to sound serious. He narrows his eyes at you in suspicion.

“I knew you’d get it, who else would get it? Did they not fucking give it to you?” he asks, working himself up at the thought that you weren’t the one to get promoted.

“Relax, I got it,” you chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him a little longer this time.

“I was ready to fight whoever I needed to,” he mumbles against your lips, a smirk tugging on the corners of his mouth.

“What a gentleman,” you giggle pecking his lips again.

“That I am. And not just because I would throw a fist for my love, but because I knew you’d get it so I went ahead and booked us a mini vacation for this weekend. So let’s head home, you have thirty minutes to pack before we leave,” he smirks down at you, clearly satisfied with himself.

Harry is always full of surprises. In the one and half year you’ve been officially together, he never failed to surprise you with the tiniest things, make you feel loved and appreciated no matter how long you’ve been dating.

“Where are we going?” you ask in excitement, eyebrows shooting up on your forehead.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?”

Harry listened to every hint you’ve dropped how you’d love to spend some time away in some cabin in the woods, disconnecting from the world just for a little and he found the perfect place for that a few hours away. He knew you’d be the one to get promoted so he took the risk to book it weeks ahead, making sure you’ll have the perfect place for the celebration. You have a slight guess it’s gonna be like that because Harry is great at taking hints, but what you doesn’t know is that deep down his already packed suitcase, there’s a little velvety box with a ring inside it that he plans to put on your finger this weekend, hoping you’ll give him the answer he wants to hear.

And you will. Because you are head over heels in love with this man, have been for a while and you want to spend the rest of your life with him.

The two of you head home and your hand finds his over the shifting gear, lacing your fingers together with his. Glancing at you he kisses your knuckles, pressing a long kiss to your empty ring finger.

“I love you,” he tells you and the three little words never fail to make your heart flutter. While the lamp is still red you quickly lean over and steal a kiss from his soft, pink lips.

“I love you too, professor,” you tell him teasingly. He didn’t like it when you called him that back when he was still just your professor, but since the air has been clear, he grew a liking to it, especially because he can’t get enough of hearing you moan it in the bedroom.

You call him a lot of other pet names too. Baby, H, Har, Sweets, whatever comes to your mind while he likes calling you his baby, Angel, Princess or Love. And as the two of you head home he thinks about how he wants two new names to be added to the list. Husband and wife.

 -

Thank you for reading! Please like and/or reblog if you enjoyed!

 @harrysgloves​

[tinyienzo]

I've been thinking a lot lately and I guess I need a space to put those thoughts out.

I've been considering perhaps getting a master's degree, I looked a bit into the program my uni offers and it seems interesting. The deadline to apply for it for next fall is on June 1st.

The thing is, I don't know if I want to apply to it simply because I miss school or because I'm tired of my job. At the same time I'm really interested in learning new things.

As a reference, I've graduated from software engineering in summer 2020, and a few months later (in early 2021) I got a job as a full-stack developer at a startup company. And although they promised me backend tasks, I mostly have frontend tasks and tbh this is not what I want. I’ve done that at an internship in the past and I specifically said I wanted to learn new things. At the time I was pretty desperate for a job I was gonna accept pretty much anything.

I've been searching for a different job for a while but also kind of dropped that because job hunting is really exhausting. And if I want a different position, I'd need to obtain other skills and showcase different projects.

Sure, I could do side projects and learn stuff I'd actually want to learn after work but let's face it. Whenever I try something new, I immediately drop it. I don't know if I have some sort of attention disorder (I really wonder about that sometimes) but I feel like I always need some sort of external motivation (aka school, with guidelines and deadlines) to help me get projects done.

Some of my fellow coworkers have been leaving the company one by one and it kind of makes me sad, and at the same time envious because I'm like I wish that were me. And also whenever someone leaves I feel like it puts pressure on me to keep searching for a different job.

But anyway I think my train of thought is kind of messy and just felt like I needed to pour these out, but I'm just wondering to myself if I should just keep searching for another job or go ahead and apply for a master's degree.

[leece-brooks]

Need some help ASAP.

Has anyone done a creative writing masters? I'm 21m in the UK currently at university. I've always wanted to do creative writing. I'm just about done with my history degree. I've been accepted to do a creative writing master as some pretty good unis but I'm now trying to decide if the extra work money and stress will pay off or if I should just go get a job. To those of you who have a creative writing masters do you think you have benefited either as a writer or in terms of employability?

[stuhde]

hi lama, i hope it’s okay but i just wanted to rant a little bit! i recently found out that one of the graduating seniors from my old high school (who i was in a couple of classes with and we were acquaintances) is going to university in ireland (i think she has family there) and i’m really happy for her. however, while i was in high school, i always thought about maybe going to college in europe because i really like traveling and exploring different cultures and i think it’d be a wonderful opportunity. that wasn’t really an option though because the guidance counselor for students never really talked about the possibility of going abroad. it was either attending a local college or at least a college in the country.

i’ve now been accepted to a college and have committed but i can’t help and think about how cool it’d be if i actually was going to college abroad? like i’d be able to travel to different countries within a few hours and get experience with public transportation and learn new languages/interact with different cultures. i know it’s not an option for me now to fully get my degree in a different country (although i’m planning to study abroad for a semester or a year) but i don’t know, i guess it makes me a little sad.

it makes me think too about what my life would’ve been like if i ended up listening to myself and applying to colleges abroad instead of in the states just because it was easier. would i be happier and be more confident and maybe have more friends? i don’t know. i feel like if i didn’t find out that that girl was going to college abroad then i wouldn’t be feeling like this. sometimes ignorance is truly bliss. anyways, i know this is random but i just needed to vent out! thanks for being here and i hope your june will get better. it’s only the second week so give it some time! :)

hey there!! first, thank you so much for the well wishes. a few nice things have happened to me today as we enter the weekend, so im hoping it’s all up from here (iA).

as for everything you’re feeling i just wanted to say that you’re validated!! when i was in HS almost everyone got into their first choice uni and i didn’t. i felt so crushed - envious even. but i can tell you that confidentiality as a recent uni graduate, i think where i went was the best place for me. i saved a lot of money, i met some of the greatest people in my life, I was able to be so involved in campus life hang out with friends AND still be on top (ish) of my grades, being in DC was also the best place to be given my interest in the legal, social, and political sphere, i made some amazing connections with a few professors, and i did research as a sophomore.

what im trying to say is, sometimes in life we are given something we least expect, even when it’s something we don’t think is best for us. i fundamentally believe that everything has it’s time, it’s place, and that some things are just written for you already. while you may want to go abroad and you want it for yourself, maybe that’s not what you need right now. as you’re figuring out what you want and what it is you hope to get out of your next four years, maybe it’ll all be there where you go next.

the wonderful thing about academia is that you can always come back to it. you didn’t get to go abroad for undergrad, but who’s to say you won’t go there for a Masters? A PhD even, or better yet, you might even live and teach there/do what you love.

this was so long, but i hope it’s helpful. it’s best not to lose sight of things and to make the most of what’s given to you at the time - this is why it’s called the present (🎁 ), right? as soon as i came to my uni i immediately knew i had to leave, but im glad i didn’t bc i would have been a much different person - maybe even a lost one - had i done something different. i hope something wonderful is stored for you in your next chapter and congrats on making it to the end of high school!! have a wonderful summer my friend :’)

[hopeshoodie]

ok so which li’s do you think went to college?

So there’s the explicitly canon ones of Marisol, Rocco, and Blake. But I think it’s also implicit in canon that Lucas and Noah did as well- physiotherapy is a extremely specific degree, and in the States you have to have a masters in library sciences to even be considered for a librarian job (there’s more flexibility for assistants and volunteers, but even then they’re usually students). I honestly love thinking about Noah as a library sciences person, like archival work and methodology is so cool and I wish I had taken more classes about it in school.

But with everyone else, there’s a lot more wiggle room. The people I headcanon as having degrees are Hope, Hannah, Kassam, Elisa, and Ibrahim.

A lot of corporate business stuff, while not really needing a degree in practice, only hire people who have business or related degrees. Especially when Hope’s already an ambassador, she needs the credentials to justify getting hired. I can see her having done an undergraduate/MBA combined program and having a degree in communications or business merchandizing.

Hannah definitely has a degree in communications and a minor in English. She just oozes pretentious college girl vibes. I’ve met four of her in literature and philosophy classes, and they’re always working on the next american novel (but don’t actually have any of it written). 

Kassam just gives me the vibe of someone who grew up in a relatively well-educated and upper class family, went to college, then decided to pursue his passion. I bet his parents had an agreement like ‘you can do whatever you want, just get a degree first’. He might’ve studied music (I love the concept of him being a fine arts major in like… violin or something but then only making EDM or vaporwave music), but I bet he has a ‘respectable’ humanities degree like sociology or geography and just never uses it or talks about it.

I don’t have a reason for Elisa, I just /feel/ like she’s super smart. Lowkey I love the idea of her studying algorithms or psychology in application to social media and then applying it to her job. I very much get a Paris Hilton vibe from her, where she puts on this very bubbly airheaded persona but is really smart and strategic. 

In the US, golf is a sport like… Exclusively for upper middle class and rich people. Also in the US, the massive class divide is often the level of education or specific university you’re accepted to and attend. So like, golfers are more likely to be rich and rich people almost always have degrees from fancy private universities. I can see Rahim attending a prestigious private university, with the way he dresses and carries himself. Because it doesn’t matter what you major in, I headcanon that he got a degree in film or literature because he’s always loved narratives and storytelling. 

The people I headcanon has having completed some university but never finished their degree are Shannon, Carl, maybe Graham, and Jakub.

I think Shannon originally went for something like statistics, syllogism, or math and then realized that she hated the environment. She’s a ‘work hard play hard’ kind of person, and I don’t see her finding a lot of people willing to match that energy but still make it to class the next morning. She also realized that she could make more money without a degree, and that was the nail in the coffin.

Carl probably tried to take a computer sciences degree then realized the university he went to had a really outdated curriculum and he could learn more in online communities and through experience than formal coding classes. 

I imagine Graham always wanted to be a marine biologist (which is why he takes fish puns so seriously) but then really struggled to support himself in school and also realizing that there’s fewer and fewer jobs in academia. He took a work study program on a crab ship to study the impact on certain species and realized he enjoyed the physical aspects of the work more than the intellectual. He’s still passionate about conservation, though. 

Jakub gives me the vibe that maybe he was originally a legitimate personal trainer- going to school for it and getting licensed, but then got caught up in the ‘balling’ lifestyle on Instagram where it becomes less about fitness and more about pulling chicks.

Then everyone else ~might~ have gone to uni, but I don’t think they did. 

Most realtors I work with don’t have bachelor degrees but they do have special training for their licenses, so I can see Priya having that but not a university degree.

Garebear probably has training specific to his job but not a formal degree

You can get a degree in interior design, but Chelsea doesn’t really strike me as the kind of designer with a fine arts degree. I bet she built her clientele base from the bottom up and was more self-made than that. 

 I’m thinking that Jo, Bobby, Felix, Lottie, Arjun, and Henrik all started work right after high school or whatever the equivalent is.  

[it-is-the-female-federal]

Hey gyns, I know a lot of you come here for the positivity and today I am writing something which feels a bit double.

Past year I did my bachelor's thesis and got a bloody great grade on it. My courses to be let into my master's were a succes and I passed all of them, 2 even with pretty great grades for Dutch standards. I got into my master of choice right away and got my bachelor's degree. All quite impressive things considering how much I struggled with no structure or guiding deadlines from uni. I struggled with my motivation and concentration and sometimes I felt like I would be able to have done more if I just did not have ADD.

The first quarantine I was able to meet a friend once in a while face to face while we kept our distance. Friends were better at keeping up and tried to keep up online. After the summer it went okay. In summer we were a bit more free, while trying our best to stay safe. Around October people stopped trying, some even stopped coming over eventhough I saw no one outside of 1 day a week babysitting. I was lucky to speak a friend once a month online. Christmas and New Year were lonely. My younger brother had a few friends that did their best to jeep in touch and hang out safely outside with him. It felt, still feels, heartbreaking that after everything my friends supported me with the past years, a pandemic was what made us lose touch with one another.

And now it is March again. I sometimes see a friend, not often. I still only see my babysit children and with the curfew my mom and I can't go on an evening walk when the house feels too small. It doesn't feel as if my master has started. In all this I bled through the pill, since I forgot that I was already taking it for 3 months (deal with my doctor, talked about this extensively). So, I needed to stop. I also have an exam this wednesday eventhough it doesn't feel like my master has started. It doesn't feel like I have an exam, so something keeps me from studying. My emotion eating out of loneliness has become worse, although we do not have enough snacks in the house and even then I do not crave it as much as I used to. All these things now seem to come together and I feel like I am in a slump.

I have decided that I am only going to focus on the assignment that I need to hand in as a part of my grade. Will make the exam ofcourse, but I am not going to study as if my life depended on me and already accepted that I probably need to take the resit. It is what is best for my mental health at the moment. A few years ago I never could have taken this descision and would have worked myself to headaches and even worse emotion eating. I am proud of what I have accomplished, but because the only people that seem to congratulate me are family and all of you, it feels hollow. I miss being able to celebrate it with friends, but what is worse is that I do not speak them outside of these little messages once every few months. I have been sick of being the one that always messages first of to carry a conversation. It is honestly exhausting having only my mom to talk, which is why I am glad to be here. I wanted to write this down, not only to get this off my chest, but also to show to others that we are all going through things sometimes and it is okay to make descisions that feel wrong, because you finally put your mental health first.

As I am typing this, I honestly feel like crying. But my mom and younger brother are still downstairs and I do not feel like making a big deal out of this, since I know it is from feeling isolated and we are all going through this. I hope my story might help one of you, like you helped me stay sane during this insane year.