#i just want to admit that i got almost all the spanish on my own

[icarusredwings]

I rewatched Deadpool 2 and took notes.

Disclaimer: He's mentally ill and does mentally ill things (GASP, who would have thought?). Also, violence. A lot of violence. It's really long. Like.. really really long.

The very first words he says is "fuck wolverine"

Then blows his own head off with a shit ton of gasoline. Wonder if he had insurance on that appartment.

He started taking worldwide cases

He also admits to knowing "8th grade spanish"

"Passion of the christ. Then me." Says the man whos marvel jesus now.

I wonder how much wade owes cab guy.

Cab guy killed bandu Lmao

"What is it?"

"My IUD"

"A bomb??" Tell me why he was lowkey excited for it to be a bomb?

I love how serious he gets talking about how scared he is to be a dad.

This empire joke traveled from the first movie too.

"Pretty sure it doesn't work that way but we can try" yes.

When making toaster strudles its almost as if he could sense them coming despite it being so silent. This kind of makes me think that Logans not the only one who just jumps up sometimes.

This man really just said "Fuck it" jumped out of a 2 story window, BOLTED after this guy as fast as he could, got hit by a car, rammed another car, and whole ass hugged this guy before jumping in front of a truck with him. I don't want to see anyone try to tell me he's one sandwitch drop away from jumping off a cliff.

Cinatography by Blind Al.

Directed by one of those guys that killed john wicks dog.

God I love Ryan Reynolds because you know it was him.

Wade stop peeing your pants in public.

Weasel "We still have bowie..." Yeah id lie to him too at this point.

"Yeah im fine"

Fucked up

Insecure

Needy and

Emotional. Kübler ross apprently.

"Buck no more speaking lines for you" and he meant that shit.

Al is so humble and sweet. Making tea and giggling. Tries to shoot him and then just hears him collapse on the floor. How many times do you think he collapses on the floor a week? Just to be drimatic?

"Sweetheart can you speak up? Its a little hard to hear you with yhat pity dick in your mouth" Oh so shes his mom. Al is his fucking mom. Hands down. And the best one.

I love how he decided to do an entire bag of cocaine before dying. There was no reason for it and honestly was a waste of cocaine until you realize that these cocaine is wades whiskey. Shots dont work for him really, probably because hes already done it so much, but its the same way how Logan chugs that bottle before wade kidnaps him. Its easier to blame it on a substance then accept those were your actions.

Ness is so cute. The poster behind her has "I love you wade wilson" scratched into it. Its nice to know that his version of heaven is literally just a cozy Saturday morning with his wife.

Colossus just walking in to find wades body parts everywhere and put him in a bag like old dirty clothes lol

"Why cant I fucking die" tone was SO serious.

The fact that theres an x men rule book and its lowkey thicker then a bible. I bet you scott and Logan made 80% of those.

"That asshole was me" oh the tears. Baby boyy.

Wait isnt cable literally scotts son.

Im never going to understand this fucking time line jesus christ

Mutant rehabilitation?? What is he a drug addict? That kid is clearly in pain dipshits.

"X men trainee" is so funny

"Please stop cheating on me"

Daniel the pedophile looking ass

Bro casually signs ryan reynolds on the wolverine cereal box and then destroys his knee caps.

"Those guys hurt you??" It was at that moment, wade went ape shit.

Wade having fun in prison is so him. But come on imagine going to prison just for standing up to an abused child. Not to mention, His face when he immediately realizes how fucked he is and that "oh shit I actually DO have cancer now and it SUCKS"

Is it just me or does Cable reminds you of forge with all his cool fix it abilities. Or is he just futurey.

He didn't say were not friends to make him upset but to draw attention to himself. Him just eye rolling when stabbed in the hand was so funny too because he was like "Ouch. God damn it. Ducking OUCH."

Hes literally pleading with russel to find someone else to peotect him or hes gonna get molested because he cant do anything. His entire power is replacing dead cells WITH new cancer cells. His entire body is dying 24/7 but never fast enough to actually kill him, always regrowing way too quickly. Cancerous is better then dead.

"Get away from me kid" yeah cause he knows hes trouble and he REALLY doesn't wanna watch this kid die.

"Who the hell tries to kill a 14 year old boy"

"Kids give us a chance to be better then we used to be"

Dopinder is so wholesome. I love him so much. No i dont care that he killed a guy. Hes the type of friend you call to take to the movies or the zoo once every year and hes stoked just to be invited.

Peter: I just thought it looked fun :D

Dopinder: FUCK

Peter is that one dad whos kids left the nest and now he needs friends and a hobby so searches for the biggest weirdos he can find.

"Grab the boy- NOT INAPPROPRIATELY >:("

i love his crayon maps/plans

Oh my god weasel im not telling you anything ever again you snitch (same dude, cable is terrifying)

After crying over the love he has for his new team (x force) Wade confirms that he spent 10 years in special forces.

I love how supportive wade is with Peter despite him just being a normal dude only for him to immediately die LMAO

He just cassually lets his impulse win in which he steals a moped.

Oh i just noticed Dominos vitiligo. I always loved vitiligo charaters. Theyre so unique and barley ever given movie roles. Like why not?? Why wouldnt you want someone so beautiful? Im pretty sure she just has make up but it would be cool if not.

Something else is that cable just starts yeeting criminals out onto the street lol

"Theres nothing I cant kill" Let me intorduce you to the man whos on a constant road to dying but can never actually get there.

Im assuming cable wants to kill russel because he unleashes a big bad guy or something.

*cassually snaps neck back into place* Oh god that hurt!

Oh I was right! It was Juggernaut :)

Wade: *gets excited about being PHYSICALLY ripped in half*

"Rub my legs mama 🥺 I got growing pains"

"Oh noo! No no no Dp not again!" We love you Dopinder. Do not ever stop caring. "This shits happened before!?" Yes weasel. Sometimes your friends get ripped in half. Get used to it.

Wade just moves her gun to the right position.

Wade talking about saving russel is so serious that it makes you forget that he has a tiny baby ass rn. I couldn't make a deal with someone woth tiny baby legs... just... no. Not to mention that those baby legs are made of cancer.

"50 years from now you're super fucking dead"

Wade standing outside of the xmen mansion with his phone and a picture of a boom box playing music for Colossus to come outside and help him save russel is something i can see happening to Logan. They have a fight and he storms off to the mansion only for wade to stand outside like that.

"Hi Wade🎀✨️" "Hi Yukio!🥹 you guys make a super cute couple 😊 where was I? 🤨"

"So you wear a helmet so your brother cant read your mind?" "Yeaaahh" average kid conversations.

"Lets fuck some shit up is my legal middle name"

Okay sir edgelord.

Apprently wade has a gluten sensitivity

What is it with wade and metal men??? My man has a type.

"Im just gonna use this brick and maximum effort" Same wade. Same.

Yaayy!! Go yukio! Eveyone loves yukio.

"Thats how we do it in mother russia" What? Shoving an electrical cable up their ass and then put them in a pool? Damn. Ok.

That "I never should have never left you in that prison" with the hug? Man hed be a decent dad I think.

"Dont be ive been trying to make this happen for awhile" okay someone supervise him 24/7. Hes on the active watch list.

Wade: *is dying* Hi Yukio :D

Yukio: Hi wade :)

"R-dog" Oh my god hes too cute.

Them carrying the racist joke all the way til the end made me cringe but that was the point.

His last words being "do you wanna build a snow man?" Is such a deadpool thing.

I was NOT expecting to cry at the end of this stupid ass movie, AGAIN

"Dont fuck colossus" VANESSA KNEW

THE FUCKING COIN

"Is there a knife in my dick?" "There's a knife in your dick."

Oh I just didn't even notice she has heterochromancia! <3 Aahh!!

PFFT DOPINDERS SECOND CONFIRMED KILL

"WERE DEFINITELY NAMINF OUR KID CHER"

"Dont scratch!" *shoots himself 8 times* "Love you! Bye."

Wolverine: ???

[thesithdiaries]

Choose (Rhea Ripley/TJD imagine)

Pairing: Platonic!The Judgement Day x female!reader

Warnings: spoilers for Fastlane 2023 if you haven't watched it, no google translate because spanish is my first language, typical wrestling violence, angst, him or me trope, gaslighting, choking, mentions of bruises and marks, made up women's championship, is finn the villain? probably

Setting: Monday Night Raw after WWE Fastlane 2023

-

The air felt thick in the locker room. At least it felt that way for Y/N.

She finally had a match for the new women's championship. Y/N had worked hard for weeks, training and practicing her moves, and working on her strategy. Rhea had been a huge help for her, as she was the current Raw Women's Champion. The match was against Becky Lynch. Y/N didn't lie to herself, Becky was great at what she did, and beating her was going to be tough.

“JD is going to be on standby to help you,” Finn told Y/N, making her snap out of her thoughts. JD stood there, smiling.

“What? Why?” She replied, confused.

“What do you mean "why”? Nobody will see it coming, because they'll expect Rhea or Dom to go out there with you.”

“Yeah, you could use the surprise to your advantage,” Dom pipped in, softly nudging her arm.

“I could go with you if you want,” Damian suggested, noticing she wasn't liking the initial idea.

“No.” Y/N finally said, standing up from the couch. Everyone looked at her, some shocked and some not surprised.

“Why not?” Both Finn and JD asked at the same time.

“I can do this on my own,” Y/N reminded them, making Finn scoff. “I really don't want anyone there with me. I want to show everyone that I do belong in this group.”

Rhea was quiet, analyzing everything. A slow, burning rage crept up on her for the way they were treating Y/N.

“It's time for my match, I’ll see you guys later.”

When Y/N left and closed the door, Rhea turned to look at the guys. “You heard her. I don't want anyone out there, do you understand? It's what she asked.”

-

The match had gone on for 20 minutes. The crowd was deafening, loving the way Becky and Y/N worked with each other. It was such an important match for both of them.

It had been very back-and-forth, both women showing their incredible skills and determination. Y/N, using a new move, locked Becky into a submission hold. The crowd cheered in anticipation as Becky groaned in pain, her fingers trying to reach the ropes.

Y/N heard boos and turned her head towards the ramp. JD McDonagh was making his way to the side of the ring. He rushed and got to the apron, attempting to help Y/N by distracting the referee. Both he and Y/N set their attention to the guy, not noticing Becky was tapping out.

She released the hold, pissed that JD went against her wishes. As Y/N turned back to Becky, though, she used the distraction in her favor. She quickly did the Manhandle Slam, sending Y/N crashing to the mat. Before going for the pin, Becky kicked JD off the ring.

Y/N sat there motionless as Becky’s theme song was playing. The ringing in her ears was so loud that she couldn't really distinguish if the crowd was cheering or booing. She almost had it, the championship was at the tip of her fingers, and now it was gone.

As the lights dimmed for a commercial break, Y/N pulled herself together and quickly went backstage. The Judgment Day was waiting for her behind the curtain, all of them panting and out of breath.

Y/N walked past them towards the locker room, without even uttering a word.

“Y/N wait,” Dom called out, walking after her. “Please stop walking.”

“I really don't wanna talk right now,” Y/N admitted. Dom grabbed her arm softly, making her stop. “Dom-”

“We didn't know he was going to do it,” Dominik informed her. “He was called for an interview right after you left and then he was out there. We ran but we didn't make it in time. Everything happened too quickly.”

“What's done is done, just leave me alone.”

-

“Damian, come on, let him go,” Finn pleaded.

JD was pressed against the wall, a few inches off the ground, Damien tightly choking him. “This is all your fault. Ya me tienes harto.” (I’m so tired of you.)

“I told you to stay backstage. What part of that didn't you understand?” Rhea barked, pissed off.

“Come on guys, we couldn't have poss-”

“Enough!” Damian interrupted Finn. “You knew he would do it because you told him to. You are both responsible.”

Finn laughed nervously. “No, man, I didn't tell him anything.”

Dom lightly tapped Rhea’s shoulder, pointing at Y/N’s bag still on the table. She was still in the arena. Rhea left to go look for her.

After walking for what felt like hours, she found her on the other side of the arena, sitting on top of an equipment cart. “There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.” Rhea sat next to her, taking in her appearance. There were bruises and red marks all over her face and body.

Y/N didn't reply, just sat there, hugging her legs. In reality, she wanted to scream and cry, tear everything apart.

“Come on, love, talk to me,” Rhea begged, softly caressing her arm.

“I… asked for one thing tonight, just one… and he couldn't do that for me.”

“I know,” Rhea sighed. “We should've been paying him more attention, but I was sure he wasn't going to do anything.”

“Finn doesn't respect me,” Y/N informed her. “And before you ask why, he always gaslights and belittles me in a joking way, but we all know it's not a joke. He never considers my feelings or what I want. I lost my match, because of him and his friend. They lost their titles at Fastlane because of JD and I’m also sure he did something to the briefcase.”

“Y/N-” Rhea started, but Y/N kept talking.

“If JD McDonagh joins the Judgement Day, I’m out.”

They both stared at each other, Rhea not knowing what to say to that. She would leave? She couldn't leave them… not like that.

“I'm going to our next city, see you next week.”

“Wait, you're not coming to the rest of the shows?” Rhea asked, confused and even more worried.

“No… I need a break,” Y/N admitted. “I'll see you later, tell Damian and Dom I left.”

Rhea stood there, at a loss. Her favorite girl was about to leave a group that has fought so hard to get to the top, all because two idiots didn't care about her enough to listen to a simple request. The anger from before was spilling over. She felt her hands shaking from it. Finn and JD hurt Y/N, now they were going to pay.

[alessiathepirate]

Resident Evil 4

CIGARETTES IN THE MORNING: Luis Serra x fem!reader

Summary: Just some soft morning moments with Luis Serra - including some cigarettes -, because we all need some soft Luis Serra moments in our lives.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistakes I made while I wrote this short story.

As I wrote before, my Spanish isn't the best so I'm sorry if I made any mistakes in the Spanish words I used. With that I'd like to say a special thank you to @angi-writes-filth for the kind words and the reassurance that my Spanish isn't as bad as I thought it was :)

Also I'd like to say thank you for all the positive feedback and responses I've got. I really appreciate it :)

Luis Serra makes me go weak these days, so have some soft moments with him as proof to that.

Warnings: smoking

•••

The room was painted in a shade of orange mixed with some gold and red as the sunrise found its way inside the apartment. Waking up to that sight was truly breathtaking and after all the hard, physically demanding work she had to do, it gave her a peace of mind. Eyes only slightly open, looking at her own hands where all the colours the sunrise brought were mixed together, she finally felt at ease.

Her eyes slowly, but surely examined her environment, this time being sure that it's a safe place. It's not some shack in Spain, it's not some big hallway in a castle - it's her home. It's her home where she isn't lonely anymore.

She turned around in the bed, kicking the duvet back to its place when it got tangled with her legs. She was about to reach for a bare chest or the soft, dark brown locks of hair, when she realized that her lover's side of the bed was empty. She let out a long breath in annoyance - no cuddling this time.

Sitting up and pulling the duvet off of her body, she looked around the room, this time being more observant, checking the side what she didn't examine a few seconds ago. There he was, at an open window with his back to her, elbows resting on the windowsill. He was smoking, she was sure of it, because she could see some small clouds of smoke running up in the air, even if his body was hiding the cigarette in his hand.

She laid back down, hugging a pillow to her chest, while she kept her gaze on him. She had to admit that Luis Serra was attractive even in the mornings - more than attractive, beautiful; damn the people who say that word can't be used for men.

She wouldn't use that word for anyone who wasn't special, but Luis truly deserved that compliment. His physique, his dark brown hair - what she liked to play with at night - and those eyes most of the time shining from something flirty yet clever, made him irresistible. And she didn't even think about the way he talks or acts yet.

She got out of bed as quietly as she could and walked towards him slowly, not wanting to disturb him and also wanting to surprise him with a hug. When she was right behind him, she gently put one arm around his torso, while she touched the scar on his back with the other.

Luis seemed surprised, making her chest swell with pride. He didn't neccessary jump, but his shoulders became tense and his hands started to shake slightly, almost dropping the lighter he was even now playing with. She loved the trick he could do with it - it was a Luis-thing, and the fact that he could make that seem attractive was also a Luis-thing.

"You got a smoke?" she asked teasingly, making him giggle. God, she loved to hear him laugh.

"Good morning, cariño." was the first thing he said as he put the lighter down and tenderly took the hand she was keeping on his abdome to press a gentle kiss on it.

"Good morning to you too."

She drew an invisible circle around his scar with her thumb, then drew through the whole, rough line where once the deep wound was. She pressed a kiss to his right shoulder as an I love you. When she felt his grip on her hand tighten, she knew the message got through.

"You didn't stay to cuddle." she said, doing her best to sound angry, but in reality both of them knew she wasn't upset about it.

"I'm sorry, querida. I didn't think you'd wake up so early." he kissed her palm this time as a sorry. "But I'm sure we can still make some time for it."

Next thing she knew she was standing in front of him, with her back to him, while one of his arm was around her torso. He also did his best to keep the cigarette far away from her face and hair, not wanting to burn her.

"Yeah, this is much better."

Luis threw the cigarette into an ashtray, now being able to fully concentrate on his lover. He put his head on her shoulder, while his free hand was playing with her hair.

"Your bedhead is really cute, cariño."

She felt her cheeks become slightly pinker at the compliment. "Thank you."

"You know, for someone who went to Spain to find the missing señorita, you can get pretty shy sometimes, querida."

There was no way she could hide her face from him, so she did her best to ignore the feeling that her cheeks are red. "Yeah, I bet you're really happy that this shy señorita was there to find your flirting attractive."

"Of course I am."

"Of course you are. You should be." she said teasingly.

They were standing there for a while as the first few people started to appear on the streets, most likely going to work to start the day early. For the first time since forever she wasn't jealous of them for having a normal life. No, this time she was happy that she can stay in with someone she loves, with someone who loves her.

After a while they changed the position as Luis started to smoke again.

"Do you want to go back to bed, querida?"

"We can if you want to. But only after a coffee." she answered as she looked him in the eye, liking the way his eyes lit up when he looked at her.

"Of course, I can make you one."

"And you called Leon Prince Charming, when you offer to help a señorita?" she teased, while she took his cigarette to take a puff from it.

"I only offer to help one certain señorita and you know it." her grip on the cigarette almost failed her at the compliment. Luckily Luis took it from her in time.

She didn't answer, not knowing what to say to that. Teasing or joking with Luis was always a loosing game. There was no way she could say anything to him to make him flustered or shy - even if only for a second. Or even if she succeeded in it, he'd always have a clever, either cute or flirty comeback what always made her blush.

His second cigarette landed in the ashtray as well after he kissed her. He tasted like the thing he was smoking, not like it bothered her. It was also a Luis-thing, something what couldn't just disappear without leaving an empty space behind.

"Let's go and make that coffee."

This time she kissed him - as a thank you.

The days with Luis Serra definitely started off happily.

[maxdibert]

i want to know what do you think about Remus since you already talk about James and Sirius i really need to know :3

When someone puts a big topic on the table, in Spain we say: sujétame la cerveza lol So yeah, Lupin is one of THAT topics. Here we go:

Look, I can deal with Remus Lupin having literally zero self-esteem and a massive inferiority complex, and for that reason using Sirius and James as his safety net at Hogwarts, not stopping them when they were complete jerks because he was afraid they'd reject him and he’d end up alone. I can deal with that, I can excuse being an accomplice to bullying just like I can excuse Severus for getting involved with the Death Eaters because he saw himself as vulnerable. I forgive him, seriously. I can even forgive him for being an absolutely irresponsible adult and not taking his potion—Merlin knows why. I can let that slide too. But there are two things I can’t let slide.

The first, and less important one, is that he justified James’ actions to Harry. I mean, it's the least important because I can understand not wanting to tarnish the kid’s image of his father, but when the same kid is telling you that his father and his friends (including you) were assholes, maybe you should admit that you were a total jerk. Or that at least your friends were, and you did nothing. I get why Sirius denied his guilt because, well, Sirius Black. Like, what are you going to expect from him? To him, there was nothing wrong with it. But Remus was aware that it was wrong, and as an adult, he can admit it. You don’t have to make up some story about Snape envying James over Quidditch (lolololol like Severus Snape would remotely care about that gym-bro crap). But anyway, I see this as almost the least serious thing.

What I will never, ever forgive him for in my entire fucking life is that at 36/37 years old, with gray hair already down there, HE WAS ALMOST FORTY YEARS OLD, PEOPLE, he got a woman in her twenties pregnant, had an existential crisis, and was considering leaving her WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD. WHAT IS HE DOING?? Like, I don’t even know how to express this in English because my language is Spanish, and I swear I have a ton of adjectives in that language to insult this man, but in English, it’s harder—but hello?? He was ALMOST FORTY YEARS OLD, HIS WIFE WAS TWENTY-FIVE, HE SLEPT WITH HER, GOT HER PREGNANT, AND LEFT??? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE, REMUS LUPIN?? WHAT’S IN YOUR HEAD?? Like, if he was so terrified of passing on lycanthropy to the child, why didn’t he use a condom?? Or, I don’t know, the magical equivalent—HAVE YOU HEARD OF A VASECTOMY?? And if he really, truly felt so bad about impregnating A WOMAN IN HER TWENTIES—LIKE SERIOUSLY, LET'S PUT THIS IN PERSPECTIVE: SOMEONE THIRTEEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIM. THIRTEEN. DAMN. YEARS. Why didn’t he just NOT DO IT? Like, as the adult in the relationship, he could’ve genuinely said no. No, this is unacceptable. No. No, sorry. So many years of gender studies and feminist readings for this. SCREW THE NICE GUYS. Like, his whole “woe is me, I’m poor, I’m old, I’m ugly, I’m dangerous” schtick? Well, you should have gone off to Timbuktu then, but don’t get her pregnant only to then abandon her. A TEENAGER HAD TO GO. A TEEN-AGER had to tell him he was being a piece of shit. This is why I say Rowling doesn’t respect her female characters because if she really did, she would have had Tonks dump him and raise the child on her own because, seriously, what was she thinking?

Just talking about this makes me genuinely angry. It's just that Lupin is THAT KIND OF GUY, you know? The one who acts all nice and soft and like he’s never broken a plate in his life, and he’s all poor me, and I’m super nice and super sweet, but then he turns out to be a huge jerk, like a giant piece of work. He’s the textbook nice guy, and one of the worst, the kind who goes after young women. Look, I’m just saying that if Harry Potter were written today and the topic of Lupin came up, and Rowling didn’t condemn him to the stake in her books, she would have been canceled a long time ago. Seriously. There’s no way that in today’s fiction a man nearly 40 years old gets a twenty-something pregnant and threatens to leave her, and that this guy is seen positively by the narrative. Simply no. Canceled. I’m canceling you, Remus Lupin, not for myself, but for feminism. Thanks.

[lloydfrontera]

now that i got all that positivity out of my system. what is this.

this is. so wrong. on so many levels. it's almost funny except not really and i'm just laughing because being angry is exhausting ajshdjkfds

i'm sorry i keep being a killjoy who can't take a joke but!! this is so against javier's character!! javier would never do something like this his entire deal is about how loyal he is and how protective he gets with the people he cares for!! he wouldn't put lloyd in danger for his own amusement!!

even at his pettiest, and god knows he's a massive brat with lloyd, he's still always on guard for whatever may threaten his life that's literally his major priority, something he takes very seriously!!

heck even in this very arc we get a little glimpse of how javier thinks!

I must play my part here without any mistakes. Javier remembered how Lloyd had come to Hell because of his trust with him. So, he could not let Master Lloyd down. He had to get the job done, even if it was dangerous. Javier believed that was his primary duty while escorting his young master through Hell, to begin with.

what part of this gives any indication that javier takes his duty of protecting lloyd lightly. much less that he enjoys seeing lloyd be in danger.

not to mention what they did with the lava giant asking if he really wants to protect lloyd and javier actually has to think about it

like. c'mon.

contrary to what i may look like i actually do know what a joke is i get it they're just being funny. however. there's a saying in spanish, 'entre broma y broma la verdad se asoma', meaning 'between joke and joke the truth appears'. you can only joke about something so much before people start thinking you're for real. and making javier constantly act like he doesn't give a crap about lloyd,,, well, it can only mean so much y'know?

which sucks because that's not the point of javier's character. much less in this arc. he cares about lloyd so much, even when he doesn't want to, and that affects almost every single thing that he does. he likes and trusts lloyd more than he's comfortable admitting but at no point in the entire story does he act like he doesn't care about what happens to lloyd.

this was supposed to be the arc where javier learns that the person he grew to care about and trust the most in the entire world has been lying to him for years and despite feeling deeply betrayed and rattled he decides to take a chance on him because that's how deep his trust and belief in him has gotten. instead in the webcomic javier already knows lloyd is a fake, doesn't really care and apparently also doesn't really give a crap about his safety. like! make it make sense!!

[no-one-fuck-a-man]

Berry Blues

Season Two

Part Sixteen - (Original Song) Trouty Mouth!

Quinn Fabray x Reader

Summary: Against what you considered your teams better judgement, the New Directions were convinced to write original songs for the upcoming competition, that could seal your hopes and dreams of -temporarily- getting out of the small town you called home. If only drama didnt follow the club like a plague.

Word Count: 5,352

WARNINGS: Maths, argument, yearning, that’s mostly it

-----

"Guys, I've got some bad news."

"Oh, just what I want to hear on a morning," you sassed from your seat beside Artie, the boy helping you finish your calculus homework last minute.

"No one does, Y/N," Mr Schue drawled, "You know how we decided on 'Sing' by My Chemical Romance for Regionals? Well, I hold in my hand a cease and desist letter from the band. We can't do it."

Puckerman scoffed from the back of the choir room, "It was the perfect anthem."

At the Spanish teacher's statement, you pulled your attention where you were scribbling a -probably wrong- equation onto the paper in your lap, looking at him with furrowed brows.

"That really doesn't sound like something the band would do."

"How much do you wanna bet Coach Sylvester has something to do with this?" Mercedes asked, shaking her head.

"One step ahead of you."

"So, what are we gonna do now?" she continued.

Before Mr Schue could begin to offer up some words of confidence, whilst he secretly worried inside, Rachel voiced her opinion.

"I think we should write original songs for Regionals."

"Oh, nope. That's still a bad idea." You shook your head, turning back to your homework.

You hate to admit it because you loved your sister dearly, but your hand was one of the firsts that rose into the air after Santana's declaration.

"All those in favour of voting Rachel down a second time?"

However, what came next shocked you to your very core.

"No, I think Rachel is right."

With horrified eyes, you turned to look over your shoulder at the blonde sitting behind you.

"Who are you, and what the hell have you done with Quinn Fabray?"

The girl rolled her eyes at you.

"This team works best when we push ourselves and do something a little different."

At Quinn's defence for your sister, everyone with their hands raised slowly started to lower them, listening to her reasonings intently.

"That's true, but if the all the other teams are doing amazing songs, we're not gonna be so good."

"You're right. We're not gonna be as good. We're gonna be better," Quinn countered Mercedes, "We won't be using other people's words or music. It'll be our own. Our own heart, soul, not just our voices. We have a really talented songwriter in our midst. Rachel, I was thinking maybe you and I could write a song together."

Okay, now something was definitely up.

Not only was Quinn Fabray volunteering to spend time with your sister, working on a project, when you knew full well that she could barely stand the shorter diva Berry.

But she also called her a "talented songwriter", when if she was forced to hear any of the drafts you had been, you knew she would not be saying that. Nor would she be jumping -creating- the opportunity to work with her.

"I'm with Quinn and Rachel," Finn spoke, looking between the two teenagers he had dated, making you roll your eyes at him, "I mean, if these two can agree on something, it's probably an idea worth considering."

"Well, I still think it's a bad one."

"Wait a minute. So suddenly, you two are writing music for Regionals?" Santana asked, almost affronted, "No way. I think that everyone should get a chance to write a song."

Sam was quick to agree with his girlfriend.

"Santana's right. We can do this."

"What do you think, Mr Schue?" Mercedes asked the man standing in the centre of the room, cease and desist letter still within his grasp.

The curly-haired man shrugged, giving a tight-lipped but pleased smile.

"I think we're doing original songs for Regionals."

After the short applause, both young Berrys turned to gander at the blonde behind them.

Rachel with a thankful smile.

And yourself, with a snappy comment.

"Seriously, who are you?"

---

Early the next day, before your first class, you meandered the halls, looking for one of your friends to chat with for the short time before the bell rang.

And that's exactly what you found.

Only, they didn't look how you expected.

"Oh, what the hell happened to you two?" you asked the two ex-cheerleaders, whose clothes were caked in soil, mouths also coated in the stuff, looking as if they had been eating it.

"Sue put dirt in our lockers," Santana explained as Brittany spat the stuff from her mouth, trying to pluck it away with her just-as-covered fingers. Her statement made your eyes drag behind them to where their lockers sat, filled with dirt.

"That's insane. Why'd she do it?"

"She's still pissed at us for not going to the Cheerios Nationals and the fact that she's not a cheer coach anymore."

"She is the prettiest person I have ever met, and I live with my sister." Gesturing them towards you, you said, "Okay, let's uh... let's get you two a change of clothes. Unless you wanna look like you just dug yourselves out of shallow graves."

Hours later, you had escorted the -now changed- girls into the choir room, dispersing throughout. A lot of club members with open notepads on their laps and pens in hand, just waiting for the director to enter the room so that they could start their lesson.

With a tall stack of yellow books in his arms, the man said, "All right, guys, let's hear it for our first songwriting seminar."

You still thought it was a bad idea, but you had decided to go with it nonetheless. It's better for you to try and fail than to not try at all.

"While Quinn and Rachel are hard at work, we're gonna try to write an anthem of our own," Mr Schue told, as he handed out the thick books, "Now, these are rhyming dictionaries for all of you."

"Mr Schue, Tina, and I have been uh already working on a song that I wrote," Santana offered.

"Really? That's amazing. Well, can we hear it?"

The Latina gave a small nod before moving to stand in the centre of the room, Tina making her way to the heys of the piano.

"This is a song that I wrote for Am. It's called 'Trouty Mouth'."

The blonde boy's sweet smile fell at that.

"Wait. What's it called?"

Only for Mike to lean over and whisper, "'Trouty Mouth'."

You didn't know a song could make you this happy.

Every one of Santana's lyrics was better than the last.

That was until Sam had to go and ruin it for you.

"Okay, can we stop?" he asked, outraged, as he jumped to his feet, "Stop with the mouth jokes."

"No, no, no!" you whined, aghast, once the music was abruptly cut off.

"Sit down. I'm not finished."

"Yes, you are." The boy then turned to the seated teacher, "Mr Schue, we're not doing a song at Regionals called 'Trouty Mouth'."

The man stuttered, rising from his own seat as he gestured to the blonde, "You know what? I have to agree with Sam on this one."

"Oh, I disagree." You shook your head with a bright smile tugging at your lips. "'Trouty Mouth' has got to be an iconic anthem. Really a song for generations."

"Y/N," Mr Schuester scolded you before turning back to Santana, "But such a good first effort. I just don't think it's got the epic feel we need for Regionals."

"I do." Your hand shot into the air, playfully being shoved by Sam as he manoeuvred back to his seat.

It seems Santana wasn't the only eager participant in the room, as Puckerman soon voiced his own involvement with a raise of his hand.

"Mr Schue, I wrote a song too. I wrote it for Lauren." The girl looked away awkwardly at that, spurring the boy into manoeuvering further into her line of sight. "I know that when I sang 'Fat Bottomed Girls', it might have hurt your feelings a little bit, but... I think this makes up for it." The delinquent continued down to replace a disgruntled Santana. It's got a bit of a rockabilly feel, so it could give us an edge this weekend."

"I'm inclined to agree with you there," you admitted as your teacher nodded the boy on.

"All right. Show us what you've got."

You couldn't help but laugh as Santana walked by Mr Schue, muttering to the man, "Don't touch me. Don't touch me."

"It's called 'Big Ass... Heart'."

"Why was that good?" you asked once the boy's short performance was over, "Stop making things that I like."

Mr Schuester, it seems, didn't share your same opinions, 'cause as soon as he could, he popped up out of his seat, hoping to get the boy off of the floor.

"All right, guys, let's make Puck's song a contender, but I don't totally think we're there yet. Everyone look at your rhyming dictionaries, and let's work on banging out some songs that rock."

---

"I have to talk with you."

With a short yell, you startled back, slamming your locker door in reaction. Snapping your head to the side, you spotted your sister, an almost conspiring look upon her features.

"Hey. Why do you always have to scare me? How was your songwriting session with blondie?" you asked, beginning to make your way down the hall, forcing a trailing Rachel to jog to catch up, to be by your side.

"It was fine. Quinn lacks my vision and years of studying lyrics and the meaning behind songs, but with some more work, I'm sure she could help me."

You rolled your eyes in reaction to her grandiose words while she quickly shook her head. "But that's not what I want to talk to you about."

"Aha. And what's on your mind?"

"I think Finn is dating Quinn again."

A familiar weight sunk in your chest. Cold and heavy. Something close to hopeless despair.

But you couldn't let your sister know that.

And you couldn't tell her that you knew they had been fooling around, even with no proof of that fact, considering she had flat-out believed Quinn's lie in the last celibacy club session you had attended. It would destroy her, and even though you knew you should tell her the truth, it would be the right thing to do, but you just didn't want to see her hurt.

"What makes you say that?"

"They were talking, and they were really close."

You gasped sarcastically, "I'll call the Pope!"

"Y/N, would you take this seriously?"

"And why the hell should I do that?" you asked, talking with a hand whilst the other held onto the strap of your backpack, "They were just taking, Rach. They can do that."

"Yeah, but it seemed... different."

"'Different' how?"

"Like they were talking about their relationship."

"And how does that look?" you almost laughed, "Look, Rach, at the end of the day, it's none of our business what they were talking about, no matter if he's your ex or not- If anything, you have less of a right to know."

Before she could reply, you were literally saved by the bell ringing overhead, signalling the start of your next class.

"Now, if you'll excuse me." You pointed over your shoulder with your thumb. "I have to go get a 'C+' on my calculus homework... with any luck," you finished to yourself as you walked away from her,

Thoughts of Quinn and Finn swam through your mind as that sinking feeling continued to grow.

---

It was a relief when Mercedes pulled you away from the rhyming dictionary before you with the incredible song she wrote and performed for everyone in the choir room.

"Yeah. Mercedes," Mr Schuester applauded with the club, speaking over everyone's cheers, "Really, really good."

"Thank you." The girl beamed.

"But, um..."

Mercedes' smile dropped at that.

"'But' my butt, Mr Schue. That song was amazing." She pointed a finger in the man's face as to get her point across.

"No, I agree. I'm just not sure that it's Regionals material."

The girl sighed softly, making her way over to the seats.

"Mr Schue, I wrote another verse of 'Trouty Mouth'," Santana voiced, bringing the attention to her, spurring Sam to raise the sign he had scribbled onto his notepad in support of Mercedes' song, reading 'hell no'.

Nodding along with the Latina from your seat beside her at the piano, you said, "I helped."

"No, no, no. Guys- Guys, just think about it. What's your favourite song of all time?"

"'My Headband'," Brittany spoke instantly.

"I'll let Rachel know that one person likes the song she's been torturing me with for weeks now."

"Allina Morissette's 'You Oughta Know'," Santana offered next.

Puckerman was Next. "'What's going on', Marvin Gaye."

"Puckerman, you're on a roll." Zizes complimented from where she stood, leaning against the side of the piano closest to you.

Taking the time to think on it while Santana and Puck had offered their favourite songs, you wracked your brain to find one of the songs that you loved.

"'Piano Man' by Billy Joel." You nodded, playing with the pen between your fingers.

"Okay, and what are all those songs about?" the teacher questioned.

"Headbands?" Brittany shrugged behind him.

Deciding to ignore the dirty blonde's answer, the man continued, "All these songs come from a place of pain. Look, the greatest songs are about hurt. And that's the side of yourself I want you to get in touch with."

"That should be easy," Artie stated, "Coach Sylvester tortures us for no reason and tries to get the entire school to hate us."

"Not that they didn't already." You shrugged. "At this point, it's just beating a dead horse with a stick."

"Yesterday, she filled Britt's and my lockers with dirt."

Mr Schuester rushed up to the whiteboard to begin listing Sue Sylvester's verbal abuse to the club.

"Okay, okay. Slow down."

"Literally no one else was talking," you uttered.

Mercedes voiced her own complaint about the blonde coach next, "Well, she literally throws sticks at me."

"Okay, what else? What else?"

"She called the Ohio Secretary of State saying she was me and that I wanna legally change my name to Tina Cohen-Loser."

You couldn't help but snort at that as everyone looked on in shock.

"She...?"

"Mean. Mean."

"I'm sorry," you told the girl, "I just wasn't expecting that."

"Okay, and how does that make you feel?"

"That she shouldn't be around children."

Fin had something else to say, however.

"Well... at first it hurts, but... then it mostly makes you wanna win."

"Guys..." the teacher smiled. "I think you may have just found your song."

"And that song is 'Trouty Mouth'." You pointed.

"No!" Mr Schue and Sam called out at the same time. Disappointing both you and the Latina who created the song.

"Now let's get to writing," the curly-haired man psyched everyone up as the title 'Loser Like Me' sat on the board behind him.

With a deep, grunted sigh, you dropped your head onto Santana's shoulder, preparing yourself for the only lesson to go.

By the end of the Glee Club meeting, your brain was fried by the number of words that ran through it. You were pretty sure you wouldn't be able to string together a sentence if your life depended on it.

To come to your sister's aid, however? That was a whole other thing entirely.

It was the end of the school day, and you knew Rachel would be working overtime on her songwriting, dragging Quinn along with her.

And considering you would rather not have a murdered sister, you were on your way to the auditorium, fully intent on dragging her kicking and screaming from the school if you had to. 'Cause, there was no way in hell that you were coming back to pick her up.

Only, you didn't have to do anything of the sort.

You were stunned in place just before you could reach the backstage door of the auditorium when your sister strode out, tears spilling from her eyes, trying to keep her sobs at bay.

"I'll be waiting in the car," she whimpered, rushing past you, trying to get out of the school as quick as possible but knowing that you weren't about to let her state slide.

So, as you watched her leave down the hall, your face grew hard, anger boiling up within you, face turning into a snarl as you span on your heel, slammed the door open, and strode over to where the blonde was sitting at the piano on the stage.

"Hey, what the hell did you say to her?!" you asked, pointing behind you.

Quinn sniffed, blinking back the wetness building up in her red eyes.

Maybe if you weren't so angry at her, you would have noticed apparent distress of her own.

"I just gave her a dose of reality," she said primly, straightening out the papers scattered along the grand piano.

"Reality that makes her cry?"

"Life sucks, sometimes, Y/N," she snapped, "She needs to get used to it- The rest of us have."

You scoffed at that, shaking your head in reaction.

"You know, though last year you were pregnant and had all of those demon hormones, so that if I said, "Hey, I don't like this flavour of gum," you would go into an eternal rage. But at least you weren't such a heinous bitch all the time!"

The blonde was gobsmacked by your sudden snapped reaction, gasping and pointing to her chest as she repeated your words, in offence, "You think I'm a heinous bitch?"

"Oh no, I know you are!"

"And what?" she challenged, "You want me to go back to being that sad, pregnant girl? Just so that you will like me?"

"No." You shook your head, obviously. "I want you to go back to that girl who cared about people other than herself."

"You think I don't care?"

"Do you call this caring?!" you argued, gesturing to the space around you wildly, "Really? So, what was this "dose of reality" you gave her that you consider caring?" you asked, utilising air quotes as you did.

"I told her that she didn't belong here, in this town. She was going to get out of here, and I was just sending her on her way." She almost sneered, confusing you, as you thought she had insulted your sister and not told her exactly what she wanted to hear. "That I was going to get married to Finn and start a family, he was going to get Burt's tire shop, and I would become a successful real estate agent, and she-" Quinn had to take in a sharp breath to gear herself up for what she was about to say. "She knows that she's going to get everything she has ever dreamed of... just not the boy she loved in high school."

The blonde had a hard time reading you as you stood there, silently evaluating her.

"Is that really what you think of yourself?" you asked finally, confusing her.

"What?"

"You think you're gonna be stuck here for the rest of your life?"

"That's my dose of reality. I've gotten used to it."

Suddenly, your dwindling anger spurred back to life.

"After- After everything I told you, you still believe that?"

"What do you mean?"

"How many times have I told you you can do anything, Quinn Fabray?" you stepped up to her now, unknowingly mirroring her and Rachel's positions from only minutes ago, only flipped in your favour.

But still, the girl was stubborn. Looking up at you with a hard pour, not backing down.

"You're amazing, and you don't fucking see it. You once told me that you wanted to help change the word, make it a better place-"

"That was just a silly dream!" She yelled, flinging her arms out by her sides.

"No, it's not! It's not silly, and it's less a dream and more of a plan. Being a real estate agent is all well and good, but you are destined for far better things- Greater things."

It was only then that you noticed the hopeless look in her eyes, the way they shone with tears, reddened and burning as she fought them off tooth and nail.

"Quinn," you breathed, "Is... is this about-?"

"Don't." She sneered. "Just... just don't, Y/N. I don't want to hear this right now."

She turned, trying to walk away before you could confront her truth when it was too hard for her to do so herself.

"You don't need to hide yourself like this."

"What do you know?!" she yelled, spinning back to face you, tears fully built up in her eyes, but still, none fell, as she stormed back over to you, "You've never had to do it! You've never had to be someone you're not. You're lucky enough to have a family that accepted you the second you were born. Not only that, but your parents relate to you on that!"

"Yeah, you're right." You nodded after a few moments of silence. "I don't understand exactly what you're going through. But I do know that you don't have to throw yourself into a life you truly don't want just because you're too scared to be you. Look, I'm not telling you to come out or lead the fucking pride parade. That's up to you. It's your choice. You can still live the life you want without doing all that. Don't throw your dreams away because you're scared of how other people will perceive you."

And with that, you left the blonde alone to her thoughts, heading off to comfort your crying sister as best you could.

You couldn't get anything out of her during the whole car ride back home, which was abnormal for her when she was in a state such as ones like this.

Even when you arrived home, Rachel rushed straight up to her pastel yellow room, leaving you to watch from her doorway as she cried and scribbled lyrics onto her notepad, surrounded by multiple drafts crumpled up around her.

With a deep sigh and a droop of your shoulders, you knew there was nothing you could do to help her at that moment. She didn't want any help nor did she want comfort, so there was no likelihood that she would accept it.

Stepping foot into your own room, your eyes travelled to where your own pad of paper sat at your desk, infesting your brain with thoughts of writing your own song.

Shaking your head, you quickly decided, "absolutely not." Instead, you pulled out your textbook to work on your homework, your brain was broken enough from songwriting today, and you needed to finish your history for tomorrow. Even if you wanted to lay down and nap for the next four hours.

---

The next few days passed in a blur and yet dwindled along slowly, at the same time, mainly when you and your sister had to be around the blonde and her boyfriend.

But the day had finally arrived.

Regionals.

You had to admit that you weren't that hopeful, with your songs being original and all that, but you were still gonna give it your all. If not for yourself or your team, but for your sister.

As usual, your club was late arriving at the competition, so as the announcer introduced the first competitors over the PA, you scooted your way through the rows to your designated seats.

"-Let's have a warm welcome for Aural Intensity!"

"Still sounds like a stupid term for going down on someone," you mumbled over to Mike, who had to stifle his laugh into his shoulder.

The expression you wore was one of disgusted astonishment, watching Sue's clear attempt at pandering to the judges, which only further grew with the cheering crowd.

You just hoped that Kurt and the Warbler's performance was far better than what you were just forced to sit through.

That hope was quickly proved true, as to your utter surprise, your friend began the setlist for his Glee Club, which made you beam out of pure happiness for this chance for him to shine in front of an audience.

Both Berry's in the crowd found their eyes trailing over to the couple that was Quinn and Finn, noticing the way that their hands were linked. Rachel and yourself yearning for opposite people in said couple. How two people could captivate a pair of siblings and be together like it was nothing, effortlessly crushing both Berry's hearts, was beyond you. It just seemed like a sick joke the world was playing.

Tearing your eyes away from them, you focused back on your friend and his boyfriend.

You suppose that is why he didn't let you know that he would be singing front and centre for this competition. He was far too excited to gush about the boy he had been harbouring feelings for, for months now, who had become his boyfriend. And not only that, he had had his first real kiss, that wasn't with Brittany. Or, unknowingly to you, taking from him by Karofsky.

After their duet and Blane's rendition of 'Raise Your Glass', that got the whole crowd jumping on their feet, it was the New Direction's turn to perform.

Walking through the backstage area with Santana by your side, you overheard Finn talking to your sister.

"I really like your song."

"It sure is better than 'My Headband'." You threw over your shoulder, gaining a soft glare from Rachel before she swiftly turned back to talk to her ex-boyfriend.

"I still think I should have sung 'Trouty Mouth' as the solo."

Breathing out a laugh, you threw your arm over the girl's shoulder. "Oh, I agree with you there."

From across the way, almost as if his ears had been attuned to the two words so that he would be able to hear them strung together within a five-mile radius, Sam yelled, "Stop talking about 'Trouty Mouth'!" Harbouring laughs from the club in reaction.

"And now, from William McKinley High in Lima, Ohio, the New Directions!"

You were by Finn's side during the entirety of your sister's performance, arms folded across your chest, all the while he listened to the lyrics intently, with an awestruck look on his face.

"She was crying while she wrote this."

"Why?" he breathed back as if speaking any louder would disrupt the performance. Unable to take his eyes off of his singing ex.

You could have told him about her and Quinn's argument, but you thought it best to give him the whole, blaring, obvious truth.

"Because she's still in the love with you."

His breath shortened then, while you glanced behind him, spotting his girlfriend, who had obviously heard your statement, staring into your soul with a look you couldn't quite decipher. She was frustrated and annoyed you could tell that much, even though she hid it well. But there was also a hopelessness and longing emitted from her.

But there wasn't long for you to dwell on it, as a few moments later, she and the rest of the girls were marching out. Followed by the boys and yourself after Rachel had introduced your team. Which quickly lead into your next and final song for the competition.

You were glad that it wasn't another slow number, where you had to be careful and intricate with your dance moves, but instead was one where you could end it off by dousing the audience with shiny red confetti, masquerading in slushie cups along with a cart. A reference, which only people who knew about and attended your school would know of.

After the judges had taken a short amount of time in their deliberation, the three Glee Clubs and their directors were gathered on stage to hear the results of the competition.

"And now, to announce our winner, Lieutenant Governor Stevens' wife, Carla Turlington Stevens."

"Who are these random-ass people they get for these things?" you whispered, once again to Mike, as you joined everyone else to applaud for the woman.

"Do you think they would be able to get anyone else to do it?" he countered.

"Touché, I supposed not."

Once the woman took the stage, she felt that to be the ideal time to get her troubles off of her chest.

"My husband is verbally abusive, and I have been drinking since noon." Feedback from the microphone was the only thing that filled the awkward silence her confession had garnered. "I'm bored. Let's just see who won, huh?" Suspense filled the three hopeful teams as the drunk woman opened the first-place envelope. "The New Directions, you're going to Nationals in New York."

The celebrations with your team were cut short, thanks to Sue Sylvester's outburst, where she strode up to the Governor's wife and knocked her out cold.

Talk about being a sore loser.

---

You were sat beside your sister when Mr Schuester walked into the choir room, carrying a small trophy, busy talking on the phone.

"I'll show you the video when you get home. Have fun at the sweat lodge." You cringed at the next words he cooed down the line, trying -and failing- to hide it from his students. "Namaste to you too. Okay, bye."

Leaning closer to Rachel you muttered, "She could do so much better than him." Knowing that he and Holly Holliday had been seeing each other since she came in to teach everyone about sex, because they were so bad at hiding it.

Only she wasn't the only person who had heard your comment.

Quinn Fabray, who was seated in front of your sister, peered at you from the corner of her eye, a ghost of a smile shadowing her lips. Sending a hopeful rush through you, even though your mind was screaming at you that it was worthless to even feel.

"Miss Holliday sends her best," he turned to tell the team, "And can't wait to congratulate you all in person when she gets back from her meditation retreat. Now, we all know that winning Regionals was a team effort, and Nationals isn't going to be any different. But... like in sports, every winning team has a player that rises above to help carry their teammates to victory. The M.V.P.." He pointed before bringing the gold star trophy into view. "And I would like to start a tradition of honouring that player after every one of our competitions. So, per a unanimous vote by all of you... our Regionals M.V.P. is... Miss Rachel Berry."

The club applauded for your sister as the director waved her down to accept her award.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you." She beamed. "If I could just say a few words?"

"Sure."

"And here she goes, making me regret voting for her," Santana said dryly.

"Same." You nodded, smiling down at Rachel playfully. Please don't start singing."

She rolled her brown eyes at you.

"Well, first of all, I just wanna say how amazing the song you guys wrote was. I-I was so inspired. You know, it's funny. I've won a lot of trophies before for singing competitions, and dancing competitions but... I've always felt like the girl who never gets the brass ring... and maybe I never will." She shrugged. "But today a-and at Regionals... the way you guys believed in me and... took a chance with me... all I've ever wanted was to feel special... and to feel chosen. And... I just, um... I wanted to thank you guys so much for giving me that. So, that's all."

After your sister's tearful speech, you lead the charge in giving her a hug, a proud look on your face, at her -not arrogant- speech.

So maybe doing original songs wasn't the worst idea ever.

You still thought it was pretty dumb, though.

However, there was no way you were gonna let Rachel know that anytime soon.

After all, you were far too excited for one thing and one thing alone.

New York City.

-----

Prev Part | Next Part

[hinatastinygiant]

3 | Spanish Gold

Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Pirate's Treasure Masterlist

"What are you doing?" the captain yells some time later, waking you up. "Did you really fall asleep on the floor, princess?"

You groan as you sit up, realizing you're still sitting in a cell. "Ugh. Why do you insist on calling me that?"

"It fits you. You came with all those supplies and your own little house," he sneers. "Must be nice."

"Y-You're joking, right? Do you not know what a tent is?" you laugh at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"The, uh, little house. I was sleeping in my tent when you came and found me," you clarify.

"A tent?"

"Yeah, that's what they're called... Wait a minute, did you go through my stuff?!"

"What if I did?"

"You're unbelievable. How dare you," you snap.

"Relax," he scoffs. "I just wanted to see what I could take from your little house."

"Tent! What did you do with-" you begin as he holds out the rolled-up map of Tsiji. "My map," you finish.

"Your map? Did you write it?"

"No, it's- Look, just give it to me."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I asked nicely. Now hand it over, jackass."

He laughs. "That doesn't seem very nice. Besides, it's what I need to talk to you about. Where did you get it?"

"I found it," you explain.

"Found it where?"

"In an old museum. Look, why does it matter where I got it?"

"This map, it's different," he says, pointing to the red X marked at the center. "It has a marking."

"So, you've never seen this map before?" you question him.

"No," he says as he pulls up a chair and sits outside of your cell. "It doesn't make sense... How could someone know where my treasure is?"

"Look, if you want my help, then you're going to need to tell me what you know. I just want to help."

"Fine," he groans. "I found the island with my crew. We were going to grab the gold and ditch this god-forsaken place. But a storm hit, and we were forced to abandon our ship, leaving the treasure behind.

"Okay, then what happened?"

"I don't remember," he admits. "Everything went dark. When I woke up, I was alone on the island. The others didn't make it out of the storm alive."

"So, wait, I'm confused. If you left the treasure behind on your ship then wouldn't it be around here someplace?" you ask him.

"What? This isn't my ship. You think I'd live on this piece of crap?"

"Wait, hold on. I thought you were the captain of this ship. How can this not be your ship?"

"Because the captain of this ship is dead," he tells you. "That asshole and his crew heard of what happened to my treasure and came here to try to take it. So, I made sure that didn't happen."

"You killed an entire crew?" you gasp.

"I did what was necessary. Now, enough about the past. Are you going to help me or not?"

"Well, that depends. Can you read the map? Without it, we're completely helpless."

"Yes, but the island is massive, and there are a lot of places it could be. We'll have to search everywhere."

"Great, let's get started then," you say excitedly.

"Not so fast," he interrupts just as you stand on your feet. "I don't know what an arcologist is so you're going to have to prove yourself before I'll let you anywhere near my treasure."

"An archaeologist," you correct him as he begrudgingly unlocks your cell. "And how exactly do I do that?"

"I," he begins as he walks across to the other side of the room, "I don't know yet."

You watch him intently as he picks up a long piece of rope and cuts it with the knife he had taken from you. You roll your eyes, annoyed that he didn't give it back. "And what's the rope for?"

"It's to keep an eye on you. And to make sure you don't try anything stupid," he explains roughly.

"Wait, seriously?" you gasp, shocked at his response.

"Yes," he responds firmly.

"That's barbaric. I'm not an animal, Captain," you argue with him.

His posture straightens a bit at your words, but his eyes narrow as he draws close. You instinctively step back, causing you to bump into the wall behind you. His face is so close, and his lips are almost touching yours. Your eyes widen as your own knife brushes against your hip, the only barrier between his body and yours.

"Are you going to behave yourself, or not?" he questions you, his voice low.

You stare back at him defiantly. "If I do, will you give me my knife back?"

He scoffs, taking a step back. "Not a chance."

"Then you better make sure you have enough rope," you say bluntly.

He sighs, looking disappointed, and ties the rope around your wrists. "You'll have to earn your freedom."

"Yeah, whatever. You already said that. Just let's get going," you huff, trying to push him off.

"Fine," he agrees, leading the way off the ship.

Outside, you find a pile of your belongings dumped onto the sand. He must have searched through everything.

"I have to say, Captain. I'm disappointed in your lack of respect for another person's privacy. I would have thought pirates were better than that," you scold him as you softly kick over your backpack.

"We are better. That's why we take what we want and destroy the rest," he states.

"And you've destroyed my life's work," you point out.

"Oh, please," he scoffs, pulling a familiar-looking canteen of water from his pocket. "I've still got the map."

"You're absolutely insufferable," you huff, walking away from him.

He rolls his eyes, following after you. "You're not so pleasant either, Princess."

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with," you groan, walking ahead.

As you trudge along the sandy shore, the weight of the situation begins to sink in. The sun beats down mercilessly, and the salty sea breeze tugs at your hair. You can't help but steal occasional glances at the canteen Bakugou now carries, a bitter reminder of your lost possessions.

Silence hangs heavily between you both, broken only by the crash of waves on the shore. You try to focus on your surroundings, scanning for any hints or clues that could lead you to the treasure's location.

But as the minutes drag on, frustration simmers just below the surface, waiting to erupt. Bakugou's irritation becomes palpable, and you can feel a storm brewing within him.

With a heavy sigh, Bakugou snaps, "This is ridiculous. You've got us walking around with absolutely no direction!"

"Me?! You're the one holding the map, Captain!"

"I've been out here for years," he grumbles, "You can't expect me to know where to go."

"And whose fault is that? If you'd just let me see the map, I could figure out where we're going!"

The argument escalates, voices rising in anger as you both exchange harsh words. In the midst of your heated exchange, his grip on the map slips, and it tumbles from his hand, landing with a splash in a tide pool at the edge of the shore.

"Shit," you both mutter at the same time, as if fate itself were mocking your predicament.

You quickly reach out to grab the map, but Bakugou beats you to it, snatching the wet paper from the shallow water. He glares at you as he wipes it off on his shirt, the ink smearing slightly under the pressure of his impatient hands.

With the map now retrieved and the argument momentarily forgotten, you both stare at the water-damaged paper, still wet from its unexpected dip into the tide pool. As you both catch your breath, something astonishing catches your eye.

The Captain's irritated expression morphs into one of astonishment as you both notice the previously hidden writing on the back of the map. A cryptic code, long obscured by time, now gleams faintly through the smudged ink.

Wide-eyed, you exchange glances, your initial hostility replaced by a sense of wonder. The mystery surrounding the map deepens, and with it, so does the urgency to decipher its message.

Taglist: @nemisimp @boopjuice

Pirate's Treasure Masterlist

[wikiangela]

Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

so I wrote a lil something after 6x18, not sure if it makes sense at all - just a bit of Buck not being able to share his life with the Diazes with Natalia, and some feelings realization hah (also kinda emotional cheating? lol idk)

words: 2.9k

[read on Ao3]

“I’m at your door and no one’s answering.” she adds, and for some reason, he feels extremely guilty, as if he was doing something horrible and shady, and that she can’t know. “Uh, did we have plans?” he asks, frowning, peeking into the kitchen, where he sees Eddie throw a kitchen towel at Chris, who’s laughing loudly, probably after another joke. He can’t help a smile. “No, I just wanted to see you. But it’s fine, it’s my fault for coming over announced.” she laughs. “When will you be home?”  “Uh, I-” he’s already home, right now. There’s no place on earth that feels more like home than Eddie’s house. But he can’t say that. “I might not be back tonight.” he admits, distracted by a loud thud, and he peeks into the kitchen again, to see Eddie crouch down, picking something up.  “Buck!” Chris calls. “Come back before dad destroys the kitchen!” OR, Buck spends time with Eddie and Chris, and for some reason finds himself incapable of telling Natalia, which leads to some realizations.

____

The kitchen is filled with sounds of conversations and laughter, and music in Spanish that Eddie tries to sing along to, but he’s very off-key, and doesn't know all the lyrics, which in turn causes Buck and Chris to make fun of him. Eddie clearly sees how much fun they’re having, how much Chris is enjoying it, and continues to be a huge dork, goofily dancing around and singing, just for his entertainment. They all cook dinner together, like they tend to do pretty often nowadays, each having their own specific task, assigned by Buck. Chris sits at the table, carefully cutting vegetables, while Buck and Eddie move around each other as easily and seamlessly, as they do at work, knowing what the other one wants or needs without even saying a word. And whenever they pass each other, Eddie makes sure to touch Buck in some way, his shoulder, his forearm, the small of his back – and Buck feels hot, breath hitching each time, and he tries to ignore the way it makes him crave more.

Right now, Buck and Chris are laughing, as Eddie uses a salt shaker, that he was just about to use, as a microphone, almost yelling the lyrics, looking between Buck and his son, and Christopher covers his face in embarrassment.

“I can’t believe how lame my dad is.” Chris tells Buck, but Eddie obviously hears it, as he starts laughing as well. And Buck, well, he doesn’t think it’s lame. It’s dorky and cute. And he can’t help a fond smile that forces itself onto his face as he watches Eddie. He rarely gets to see him just be silly and goofy. It’s a very recent thing, but he’s clearly felt more free to just let go and have fun, and it’s amazing to see. 

“And I can’t believe how he got such a cool kid.” Buck shakes his head, obligated to join in on the teasing. Chris looks at him with a grin.

“My mom was pretty cool.” he says, and Buck can see Eddie falter for a moment, a soft smile on his face. They’ve been mentioning Shannon more freely now, too, and Buck learned more about her in the last few weeks than in all the years they’ve known each other. That’s pretty awesome, too, to see Eddie heal and move on. He even actually asked someone out and went on a couple of dates, and Buck ignores how thinking about it makes him feel, but then he just told Buck it didn’t work out, no details. Buck didn’t ask.

“I bet she was. Because I’m sure you didn’t get all your coolness from… that.” he comments gesturing towards Eddie, who gives him the middle finger with a laugh. Buck sticks out his tongue in response.

“You guys don’t know how to have fun.” Eddie comments, turning back to where he’s seasoning the meat, still slightly swaying his hips in rhythm with the music, and Buck tries very hard to look away.

“Look who’s talking! We have fun!” Buck exclaims, but before he can add anything else, his phone rings, and he fishes it out of his pocket and checks who’s calling. He feels… slightly less happy than he just was, and he really doesn’t want to. He wants to get excited at seeing Natalia’s name on the screen. He wants to feel butterflies in his stomach, and his cheeks warming up, and heart racing just at the thought of hearing her voice. He knows that feeling very well, and he doesn’t want to think about who makes him feel like that. But she’s his girlfriend now, they’re dating, so he should answer… he wants to answer, he’s happy to hear from her, of course. “Hey, I’ll be right back, make sure nothing burns.” he says to Eddie, pointing to the pan, where a part of their dinner is already frying, then turns to Chris and adds, “Keep an eye on him.” Christopher nods with a laugh.

Buck exits the kitchen, stopping just outside the door, and is still able to hear the music and laughter, and Chris’ comments, as he teases Eddie about using too much spice – which turns into a dig at Buck, but he’ll let it slide.

Buck reluctantly answers the call, trying to convince himself he’s excited and happy, and not regretting anything, and that the thrill of a new relationship hasn’t worn off before it even started. The thing is, he does genuinely like her, and he really wants this… but he feels like his heart isn’t his to give anymore, and the person holding it has no idea he has it. Buck doesn't even want to admit to himself who he accidentally gave it to.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asks when the call connects.

“Hey, where are you?” her melodic voice sounds in his ear. It’s nice, he likes her voice. He likes her. She’s great, and kind, and understanding, and… he really wishes he could fall for her, it’d make everything so much easier. “I’m at your door and no one’s answering.” she adds, and for some reason, he feels extremely guilty, as if he was doing something horrible and shady, and that she can’t know.

“Uh, did we have plans?” he asks, frowning, peeking into the kitchen, where he sees Eddie throw a kitchen towel at Chris, who’s laughing loudly, probably after another joke. He can’t help a smile.

“No, I just wanted to see you. But it’s fine, it’s my fault for coming over announced.” she laughs. “When will you be home?” 

“Uh, I-” He’s already home, right now. There’s no place on earth that feels more like home than Eddie’s house. But he can’t say that. “I might not be back tonight.” he admits, distracted by a loud thud, and he peeks into the kitchen again, to see Eddie crouch down, picking something up. 

“Buck!” Chris calls. “Come back before dad destroys the kitchen!”

“It’s fine, it’s just a plate, it happens-” Eddie starts saying, standing up with the shards, cheeks pink. Buck has the urge to go over there, take the broken pieces out of his hands and make sure he didn’t hurt himself. Which is ridiculous, Eddie’s a grown man and a medic, he’d be fine if he did hurt himself. 

“What do you mean? Where are you?” Natalia asks. “Buck.” And Buck realizes she’s been asking him this for a while, but he tuned it out.

“Uh, nothing, I’m just-” he stops, seeing Eddie walk over to him, or, to the trash can that’s right next to the door right now, since the kitchen is such a mess, everything’s out of place. But it’s their mess, that they’ll clean up together, as always, and have fun while doing it. Those domestic evenings with Eddie and Chris are Buck’s favorite thing that he always looks forward to the most.

“Who’s that?” Eddie asks curiously when he’s next to him, gesturing to the phone. He’s still holding his phone to his ear, and Natalia’s asking questions, but all he can focus on are Eddie’s warm eyes on his.

“No one.” Buck responds and is about to hang up, but then remembers he has to say goodbye to the woman he’s dating now. “I’ll just be a sec.” and he disappears behind the door again.

“No one?” Natalia asks, confused and a little hurt, clearly having heard Eddie’s question. “Buck, what’s going on? Where are you?”

“I’m-”

“Buck, something’s burning!” he hears Christopher yell.

“Shit, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” and he hangs up the phone, cutting off whatever she was saying. And… it’s shitty. He’s acting shitty. He’s the worst boyfriend. Natalia deserves so much better, she deserves someone who can appreciate how awesome she is. Someone who won’t pretend and lie.

And the thing is, he doesn’t know why he didn’t just tell her where he is. It’s not like it’s a big deal, he’s just hanging out with his best friend and that friend’s kid – or, actually, his best friend and that friend’s dad. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s normal, it’s nothing to hide, no big deal. Except… except it’s Eddie, and it does feel like a big deal, with Buck feeling like he does around him. He feels guilty. And you shouldn’t feel guilty and try to hide from your girlfriend that you hang out with your best friend, right? Buck’s spiraling, and he feels so guilty, as if he at least cheated- he feels more guilty than when he kissed Lucy and basically cheated on Taylor. It’s weird, he shouldn’t feel this way, because he’s not doing anything wrong right now… He feels like he is, though. Shit.

Besides, what’s even worse, is that whenever he’s with Natalia, all he thinks about is Eddie, and then he feels even more guilty – but that guilt doesn’t disappear as soon as he looks into her eyes, like it does with Eddie. He feels guilty when he’s with his girlfriend, and it’s for literally no fucking reason. Because Eddie is not his, and he’s not Eddie’s, and that’s just how it is. Maybe he wants it to change… He needs to sort it out somehow, because, well, he can’t live like this, endlessly riddled with guilt.

He runs into the kitchen to see Eddie take the a-bit-too-well-cooked meat off the pan, and put in another two pieces he just seasoned.

“Crisis averted, we’re good.” he says, grinning at Buck, and Buck’s heart immediately settles from panicked racing into calm and steady rhythm. Even just the sight of Eddie makes him feel at peace. He never wants to leave here. He never wants to be apart from his kid and his Eddie- well, from Eddie’s kid and his Eddie. Though, at least in his head, he likes referring to Chris as his. Because he loves him so much, as if he was actually his. But that’s not… it’s not true, and he doesn’t want to overstep. But it’s not like Eddie can read his mind.

And maybe that’s another thing. Maybe he’s worried that Natalia will freak out again, because it’s no secret that he and Eddie are really close, maybe closer than regular friends should be. They’re basically raising a kid together, and she was already freaked out when she found out Buck was just a donor. And it’s not like he’s Chris’ dad, as much as he’d love to be. There’s nothing to freak out about. Except, why can’t he just tell her?

They settle back into their routine, and later, as they’re both at the sink, cleaning up, while the dinner is just about to finish cooking, and Chris has gone to the living room, Eddie's arm brushing against Buck’s, Eddie says quietly:

“You know you don’t have to hide your girlfriend from us, right?” he sounds amused, but there’s also a tinge of something else, suspiciously similar to hurt. “You can, you know, invite her here for dinner sometime.” he shrugs, but he seems suddenly tense.

“Uh-” Buck hesitates. He knows he should, but he really doesn’t want those two aspects of his life to collide. He’s not sure how he imagines it looking in the future, if things with Natalia turn serious… but they probably won’t.  “Sure, I, um, maybe?”

Eddie gives him a confused look and laughs.

“Or are you hiding us from your girlfriend? Come on, we’re not that embarrassing.” he teases.

“I don’t know, Chris might not be, but you…” Buck jokes, but he feels something heavy sitting on his chest and almost not letting him breathe. It only loosens when he looks into Eddie’s eyes, and their hands brush when Eddie hands him a bowl to dry. Eddie smiles that wonderful smile, and there’s so much fondness and, maybe, possibly, love in his eyes…

“Shut up.” Eddie laughs again, and this, this is the most wonderful sound, that Buck never wants to end. Then Eddie starts quietly singing along to whatever song’s playing now, and Buck is just so enamored… He could stand here and watch Eddie be so carefree and silly for the rest of time. He’s so beautiful, and cute, and just his presence is enough for Buck to feel comfortable and at ease, and so happy. He brought Buck’s heart back to life, metaphorically and literally, and then took it and never gave it back. Buck doesn’t want it back. Oh, shit. He thinks… he thinks he’s in love with Eddie. It’s the first time he allows himself to acknowledge it, and somehow, it feels like the rightest thing in the world. He’s never felt this certain and content about anything. He loves Eddie so much, and it might kill him if he never does anything about it. And timing really is a bitch, because how is he having this realization right after starting a new relationship with a wonderful woman, who definitely deserves so much better?

Buck can’t stop staring at Eddie, wide eyes, as all his thoughts overwhelm him a bit, and he doesn’t notice when he tries to hand him a washed cutting board. He only comes back to himself when Eddie gives him a funny look. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah, of course, I’m fine.” he chuckles nervously, and takes the board, dries it, and puts it in the right spot, not even wondering where it should go, because he knows this kitchen like the back of his hand. This is his home. This is where he’s supposed to be. And now that he acknowledged it, he doesn’t think he can go back to pretending. “I’m not fine.” he admits, going over to check on their dinner, turning the stove off when he sees it’s ready.

“What’s going on?” Eddie asks cautiously and worriedly, turning the water off and Buck can see out of the corner of his eye Eddie drying his hands. Buck shakes his head. “Buck, hey, talk to me, please.” he takes a few steps towards Buck.

“I think I fucked up.” he takes a deep breath, feeling panic rise in his chest. But then he looks at Eddie, with his concerned and loving eyes, and everything settles. Maybe he can have this. Maybe it’s possible. Maybe not. In any case, it’s not fair to himself, and especially not fair to Natalia to string her along, when he knows damn well he can’t give all of himself to her. He can’t even share the best part of his life with her, because it’s his. They’re his. Not really, not yet, but also they are, and Buck can’t do it anymore. He needs to break up with her, let her go before he messes it up more or it gets serious and he ends up breaking her heart. And only after he breaks up with her, he can wonder if maybe Eddie feels the same, which, lately it does feel like that sometimes. But one thing at a time. “I’ll fix it, though. Don’t worry.” he smiles, and Eddie still looks worried, but doesn’t say anything. Just helps Buck plate their dinner, and goes to tell Chris that it’s ready. Buck watches them take their places at the table, chatting easily, and including Buck in conversation, making him feel like he belongs here. They eat dinner, filled with more talking and laughter, and it’s perfect. Something settles in his heart, last puzzle pieces sliding in their places, and make the picture clearer than ever.

This is Buck’s life. He wants it to be his life, the rest of his life. He wants to cook dinner together, do grocery runs, and do all the other mundane things together. He wants to come home to them after a shift, curl up with them on the couch to watch a movie, with Chris pretending he’s too big for cuddles, but eventually falling asleep on Buck’s shoulder, and go to bed wrapped in Eddie’s arms. He wants to wake up together and prepare breakfast, and tease Eddie for always burning eggs, no matter how his cooking skills improve. He wants to be able to hold his hand, and run his fingers through his soft hair, and kiss his lips. He wants to keep raising Chris together. He wants it all. 

They’re his family, this is his life, and he’s determined to keep it. He’ll fix it, he’ll fix everything, he always does. And next time they cook dinner together, he might just be a little bold and reckless and carefree, and lean in to kiss Eddie, shutting up his adorable off-key singing, and if he’s lucky, Eddie will kiss back, and Chris will make fun of them both for being gross, but he’ll be so happy. And Buck will get them forever. He’ll get it all. For the first time in a while, Buck lets himself hope. Because suddenly his biggest dream doesn’t seem all that unreachable. They’re right here at the table with him, Christopher’s telling them about his day, and Eddie’s knee is pressing into his thigh, and his eyes are sparkling and looking at Buck in that way that makes him feel hot all over, and Eddie’s smile is the brightest thing in the room. There’s a moment, just a second, before Eddie remembers that Buck’s not single, where he reaches under the table and intertwines their fingers, squeezing reassuringly. Buck feels truly alive for the first time since he died. Maybe he’s felt this way with Eddie this whole time, actually, but refused to see it. He’s not sure how he missed this, while it was right under his nose, the answer to all his questions, the thing he’s been searching for. 

His boys, his family, his heart. This is it. They are it for him. At last, he found it. Now he only needs to do everything he can to keep it.

____

Tag list (if you want to be added pls interact with this post): @idealuk @thebravebitch @this-is-moony-lovegood @greenfairrryy

[onlyplatonicirl]

henlo it is i the headcANON, here to go ramble about everyone's favourite little guy, casey. its insane to me just how much you've endeared me and many other tcoti fans to this silly fella

i can see casey going to a religious school (the only difference from a non religious school is you learn re but literally no one cares lol), most parents will try and send their kids there cause they are known for being better schools (they get more funding for extra lessons), and casey couldnt give less of a shit about it

i also think he wouldve went to an all boys school, he just sorts acts like he did lol

whilst in school my man would try and break every single dress code policy known to man, half of the time hed just show up in his pe clothes, the other time hed show up with no tie, no jacket, a coat and whatever else he could fet his hands on that he wasnt supposed to have (english schools have really strict dress codes, idk why its dumb)

he knows a small amount of spanish, in most british schools you are forced to do mfl (modern foreign languages) and its usually either french or spanish (you rarely have a choice to pick which you want to do), some will let you pick up german and even mandarin but thats usually at gcse level or as an extracurricular activity (which most kids are also forced to do). he isnt fluent in spanish, not by a long shot, but he definitely knows how to have a conversation, albeit very scripted and short. however, one thing he does understand is how to swear in spanish, and what it sounds like. i imagine him and his friends just looking it up on the laptops during class time, definitely to annoy their teacher.

so i have this image in my head that gray doesnt like swearing all that much (maybe fresh got to him lol), so he tends to swear in spanish or french because the british boy wont understand - alas he does

casey could not be arsed with most lessons because he didnt really care about getting a good education since he couldnt see all that bright of a future for himself, if one at all, but he was actually quite good at maths and history, even when he tried not to be

he has been shown on more than one occasion, undernovella, and whilst he was put off it due to it 1. being in spanish, and 2. the cast being played 99% by monsters, he actually really ended up enjoying it by the end

hes also been getting into anime and manga ("dude its like a comic book but even more brutal"), mostly shonen like one punch man and dragon ball, but he also really enjoyed sailor moon and doesnt want to admit to it, he liked the romance and friendship aspect of it, also pretty girls

he has always been into comic books, his favourite super heroes are deadpool and spiderman

before he met gray (properly), he mostly played shooter games (ones that were free or cheap), fortnite, valorant, and a pirated copy of fifa, because thats what guys play. if his past self saw his year 4 stardew valley save file, hed spontaneously combust

i think he also plays splatoon now, he mains the dualies because theyre cool, hed definitely be an inkling as well but thats an au for another day

zelda too

despite everything thats happened, he really did grow to love his last foster mum, she was a single lady and she treated him like her own son. hes had bad experiences with the foster care system in the past (breaking news: fork found in kitchen), parents only taking him in for the money, some wanting to complete their family and forcing him to live by their ideals, all that bad stuff, which is why he often ran away from them. he had run away from his last foster mum, two times before, but it was very early into their relationship before they got to understand each other better.

his last foster mum asked him what his hobbies were his first night at her house, he didnt know, so she suggested he pick up an instrument - he decided the guitar, because it looked cool. he almost cried when she offered to buy him lessons, he didnt take her up on the offer, determined to learn it by himself, and he did

he has a really nice singing voice he'll never let anyone see - hes a lyric baritone

also whilst in canon hes a brummie, i like to imagine he was born a bit further north (hes a mackem to me), and moved to birmingham to be with his most recent and last foster parent, and that he lived there for so long thats hes picked up the accent

he felt really bad leaving her but managed to convincr himself that she would be better off without someone like him in her life

casey is a very traumatised child, he has a lot of triggers and boundaries he doesnt fully understand himself, plus a boat load of unhealthy coping mechanisms (mainly smoking and socially isolating himself)

he tries to keep his bad habits a secret from gray, because he doesnt know how he would feel about it - he knows, he doesnt like it but he isnt exaclty the greatest at having healthy coping mechanisms himself, at the very least he tries to get him to swap one for another, instead of smoking play stardew valley with me for 37 hours straight :) ?

he often struggles with the idea that hes a burden, so he doesnt let people spend money on him, or give him gifts

he also struggles to express his emotions (hes british unfortunately), and has a hard time saying 'i love you' to anyone, the only person he never strugfled saying that to was his mum

bit of a trigger warning, im going to be talking about casey's injuries and all that jazz, so if you dont wanna read, head to the next bullet point! casey shouldnt be alive, the injuries he suffered were severe, the paramedics were convicned he was a lost cause (still they have to do everything they can), so it was a shock to all when he pulled through. this was, however, not without a bit of a battle, and it left permanent effects on his health. casey's lungs are horribly scarred (smoke inhalation will do that to you), and it doesnt help that he smoked before and after. his nerves on the left side of his body where the support beam collapsed on him, are quite literally fried. where it hit directly, he cannot feel anything there, the areas that were dames by the fire however are unbelievably sensitive and painful to the touch. even after the scar healed it stills remains sensitive, so he bandages up those areas. the beam also broke and bruised a lot of his bones, mostly his ribs and the bones in his arms. his left ear is also burnt, and a portion of it, mostly the tips of it, are straight up missing. after recovering from the initial injury, he had a skin graft taken from his right thigh to supplement the damage done to the left side of his face. for a while after he had to take a lot of pain meds, and undergo a ton of therapy both mental and physical - even still hes not fully healed

casey loves animals, particularly dogs. his last foster mother had a german shepherd, and he used to let it sleep on his bed. it made him feel safe and loved. dogs and cats also just like to come up to him on the street, bros a disney princess for real

beefed with paperjam for a while, both had a lack of trust in each other, but they got to be on equal ground after a while, that didnt last long, not since after chapter 31..

hes fighting demons (bisexuality)

ever since he met gray and by extension his wack ass family, hes grown more and more accustomed to monster culture, particularly their disregard for gender norms and compulsive heterosexuality, and hes been experimenting with his gender expression, he never thought hed actually enjoy dressing in pink or taking care of his hair. he tried painting his nails, but did not have the patience to let them dry, he still sometimes wears it, albeit chipped and blotchy, but he thinks it suits him

he has always been fine with being labelled a man, but sometimes he doesnt feel as though it fits him, not entirely, hes not sure what his gender is because sometimes male really does fit him, but other times he just wants to throw the whole concept of gender away, hes stuck with unlabelled for a while and feels as though it somewhat fits him

he once buzzed his hair cause all the guys in his school did for whatever reason, he cried for several hours afterwards and got nicknamed sampson for a week, biggest mistake of his life - bro experienced dysphoria for the first time in his life

celebrates gyftmas because its way cooler than christmas (I NEED A GRACEY GYFTMAS ONESHOT ASAP), he celebrates the majority of monster holidays since everyone (1 to 2 people at max lmao) in the house he currently lives in does too. is confused as to what monster halloween is supposed to be

likes going out with gray (which is once in a blue moon), his favourite spot is waterfall, but he also really likes snowden and hotland

- headcANON

Holy shit HEADCANON I AM EATING SO WELL

Also I hope you don’t mind me tagging @ottererpop because they’re a Casey enthusiast as well and they must see all of this solid gold.

I Must respond to some of these AAA

- I talked with multiple people about how Casey is ABSOLUTELY breaking every dress code he possibly can. Like he would come to school in the bare minimum to not get expelled but his “uniform” would just be wrinkled to hell and his tie would just hang around his neck completely untied

- Casey is genuinely intelligent and if he actually tried in school he would do really well. However he’s a massive shithead and doesn’t care because of how depressed he is

- I do have a very specific speech pattern and tone of voice for him in my head but I’m not sure exactly how to write it. Also about him being from Birmingham - he’s not really from the main city itself but more generally around that area, so he very well could lived farther north and end up closer to the main city has he went to live with foster parents. Im purposefully avoiding getting too detailed with exact places and cities because then it just becomes hyper-specific.

- he absolutely would love undernovella - he love sitcoms so he would adore those over-dramatic plot twists

- He and his current foster mom (before he left ofc) have a tolerable relationship. She was often gone from the house and left him to his own devices, so he would mostly just skip school and play games on his computer all day, which did annoy her significantly.

- his smoking is partially a coping mechanism, partially a peer pressure “cool guy” thing that he picked up, and partially something that could very subtlety equate to self-harm. I could get into a whole thing about his smoking habits. He doesn’t smoke that often, but it is definitely something he tries to hide from Gray. Or at least not make it obvious. Like I said recently PJ has caught him smoking cigs over the kitchen sink while Gray’s been asleep.

- you are correct in your assumption that he doesn’t feel anything on the part of his torso that was severely burnt.

- I’m sure he has shaved all his hair off at some point. In the past he for-sure had one of those haircuts that’s short and buzzed all on the sides but long on the top, or at least buzzed in the back.

- gray’s family and the entire omega timeline being extremely unlabeled when it comes to gender and sexuality, like it’s not a big deal in the slightest, is definitely a massive change for Casey and he struggles to understand it. He’s grown up in an environment where he’s constantly felt like he has to prove how tough and unfeeling he is in order to get ahead. That’s why he’s so embarrassed of his severe sweet tooth, because he’s scared it comes across as “girly”. He’s by no means sexist but he definitely is over-anxious about not being perceived as “weak”.

- I’m sure he would absolutely adore waterfall :)

[invisibleraven]

"I want to start a family of our own..." for Rose/Ray/Reggie

It's Rose who brings it up as they sit on a park bench one day. "I want to start a family of our own."

"We are a family," Reggie replies, though he can see the way her eyes tracked the children playing nearby.

"You know what I mean tesoro," Rose scowled.

"You mean you want to have children?" Ray clarified.

"Yes," Rose replied. "One or two little babies. A bit of all of us for us to love and cherish and watch grow."

Reggie froze at that, eyes going unfocused. "I-I can't," he said, shaking his head. He ran off, not turning back when he heard Rose and Ray calling out to him, just kept going. He needed to get out, now.

He ended up back at Silver Lake, the beach he always went to when he needed to think, to be alone. His parents house was long gone, and them with it. He had no clue where they were, nor did he care. They hadn't made any effort to be there for him after the guys died, barely registering that he hadn't joined them.

But they were also the problem.

Reggie would be the first to admit he came from bad stock. His parents had married after his mom got pregnant and spent the next eighteen years making each other miserable. Loud screaming matches that lasted through the night, broken dishes and furniture littering their home, constant abuse hurled his way. Reggie had never forgotten each and every bruise and cut, each doled out by their hands.

He couldn't pass those genes along, he wouldn't.

"Reggie?"

He didn't turn, knowing that it was Ray, approaching cautiously. He came here knowing they would find him, they always did. Let them sit on both sides of him, their heads leaning on his shoulders.

"You wanna tell us what all that was about?" Rose asked finally, her words almost obscured by the crashing waves.

"Do you not want kids?" Ray asked.

Reggie shook his head. "It's not that-it's that I can't have kids. I can't end up like them."

Rose and Ray shared a glance. They knew what the Peters had been like, though it had taken years and a lot of therapy for Reggie to open up about that. Even then he still suffered some days, needing to be reminded that they were there, that he was worth more than his parent's treatment.

"You won't," Ray assured him. "Reggie you are the most loving man I've ever met, there is no way you could ever turn out like those wastes of space."

"And we don't have to have kids the traditional way," Rose added. "We could adopt, or even foster."

"But you want to have a baby," Reggie sniffled. "I can't rob you of that dream because of my hang ups."

"So you don't knock me up," Rose said with a shrug, making Reggie honk out a laugh. "Even though we would make some damn good looking babies."

Reggie laughed at that. "We really would."

"Reggie," Ray started, then paused, gathering the right words. "Even if the baby isn't biologically yours, you would still be their father. And I think you would make a fucking great one."

"Really?" Reggie asked, his voice wavering.

"Really really."

"But we don't have to have kids, not if it's going to be too hard on you," Rose promised him. "You were right, we are a family, just us three."

"No," Reggie said, his voice firm. "We're having kids. So Rsay can play catch, and you can teach them piano and I can make weird shaped pancakes every Saturday. I want all that."

"You sure?" Ray asked.

Reggie smiled, picturing himself cradling a little baby to his chest, all Ray and Rose, but his too. Learning Spanish right alongside them (he was getting better but he'd never be fluent), doing their hair,showing them all of MeeMaw's recipes. He wanted that.

"Yeah," he said finally. "Let's make a baby."

"Reginald," Rose said, waggling her eyebrows. "People will see!"

Ray cackled at that and Reggie blushed furiously as Rose joined him. "You menace," he said. "Home then, and we'll play around, see what happens."

"Sounds good," Ray replied. Taking Reggie's hand in his, the both of them taking a hold of Rose and starting on home.

A home that welcomed Julie just over a year later, and Carlos a few years after that. Reggie's kids, even if they didn't share a drop of his blood-he was still their dad. And Ray was right, he was a damn good one at that.

[abbatoirablaze]

Down The Rabbit Hole, Chapter 2

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings:  none

“So you’re mad at Annie and Shirley?”

“No, I’m not mad at them,” Britta huffed, looking over at Annie, “I’m mad at how they were doing the whole protest against the Guatemalan government!”

“Because it’s not what you wanted it to be?  Because it sort of sounds like you’re mad that they’re doing something about it and speaking up.”

“What?” she asked her eyes widening, “No!  I just-“

“Don’t like what they did!”

“Yeah…” she sighed, “god does that make me a hypocrite?”

“A little bit,” you admitted as you threw a piece of popcorn up into the air before catching it, “but I mean…it was also last month…so you could let it go!”

Britta was silent for a few moments and you looked at her.  She seemed to be deep in thought about something. You threw a piece of popcorn at her, “Britta!”

“Sorry…sorry…I just-I’m thinking about what happened in Spanish the other day!”

“Jeff said that he’d defend you though, right?” you asked, “I mean, he used to be a lawyer!  He might actually be able to get you out of it!”

“You know Jeff’s only helping me out because he still wants to get in my pants!”

“Yeah…that part’s still a bit weird.”

“Are you wearing Abed’s purple striped hoodie?”

Your eyes went wide, and you shook your head, “What?”

She smiled, “I recognize that hoodie.  He’s been wearing it almost all week!”

“What?” you repeated, “no he hasn’t.  I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“You’re a horrible liar, Tawney!” she giggled, nudging you, “that is Abed’s hoodie, isn’t it?  I didn’t see him wearing it today but I just assumed that it was in the laundry or something!”

“Britta-“

“Are you and Abed dating?”

“No-no, I just-Abed was walking me home last night from the library after our study group,” you said quickly, “and I got cold.  So he let me borrow it!”

“But you’re wearing it right now!”

“Well, I-“

“You like Abed, don’t you?” You felt the blush heating up your cheeks as you looked at her, unable to answer the question.  Britta’s smile only got wider, “I can’t believe it.  You really do like Abed, don’t you?”

“I-I don’t know!”  you admitted truthfully, “Abed’s just always so sweet to me, and he’s helpful, and  nice…and cute…and-“

Annie squealed from beside you, “I knew it!  You and Abed are always together, even when you two don’t have classes anywhere near each other on campus!”

“Annie,” you groaned, looking to the other girl who was closer to your age, “can we not talk about this?  Why can’t we go back to talking about how Britta cheated!”

“I’m very much invested in Tawney’s story!” Shirley said over the phone.  You groaned again, and Britta smiled, looking to Annie’s phone.

“Thank you, Shirley!”

“Oh we’re coming back to you,” Shirley said firmly across the line, “but I want to prioritize this.  Just because I couldn’t come to Tawney’s dorm room for our girl’s night, and just because I had to get the boy’s because Andre had a work emergency, doesn’t mean I’m any less invested than I normally am!  Tawney.  Spill it girl.  What about you and Abed?”

“There is no me and Abed,” you sighed, looking at Annie’s phone before turning your attention to Annie and Britta, “guys…Abed and I are just friends.  He-he doesn’t see me like that.  I mean, I’ve never even had a guy interested in me-“

“You’ve never had a boyfriend?”

“No guy’s ever asked you out?”

“N-no…”

“Oh pumpkin,” Shirley sighed, her own sadness trilling across the line, “you poor thing.”

“Guys, it’s no big deal,” you tried to reaffirm, justifying how you’d never had a boyfriend before, “i-I’m just focused on school…and creating a career.  So, what if I’ve never had a boyfriend.  And so what if I think Abed’s cute!  He’s not interested in me!”

“We’ll see about that!” Britta smiled.

“Britta, no!” you begged.

“Where’s Abed,” Troy asked as he rounded the study group table, “I need to talk to him about his films!”

“That boy is flat out prescient.  He can read minds!”

Abed rounded the corner, shooting finger guns at you as he made his way into the study room.  You couldn’t stop the blush that rose to your cheeks.

Annie and Shirley gasped, and a look of recognition crossed Abed’s features, “I know what you’re going to say.  You guys watched my movies on the website!”

“He’s a witch!” Shirley proclaimed, pointing at him. 

“GET HIM!” Troy added in.

“Guys-“

“I got this Tawney,” Abed said quickly, cutting you off, “no.  I’m not a witch.  I’m a student of human character.  I know you guys all so well that I can predict your behavior.  Like Shirley!  I know that you’re a sweet, Christian, generous person. 

“Oh that’s nice!”

She turned to him as he copied her at the exact same time.

“I also know that you have thinly veiled rage issues!”

“Careful boy!” 

He did it again, and she gasped.

“Here, check this out,” he offered, walking around the table once more until he was between Troy and Shirley, “may I?”

“Yeah!”

Abed lifted Troy’s laptop from his stack of books and opened it, pulling up the site he was posting his videos to. Shirley, Annie, and Britta crowded around him and Troy.

“See…Jeff likes to act like things around here don’t bother him,” he pointed out, “but things bother him more than he lets on.  He’s also very vain!”

Everyone looked up to Jeff to see him eyeing up his cuticles.  He scoffed, “that’s ridiculous.”

“Ohh!” everyone sighed.

They turned back to the computer in time to see Troy’s character crying on the screen.  Troy looked at it nervously, “Why am I crying?  Will I listen to ‘Come Sail Away,’ by Styxx again?”

“You don’t have to worry, Troy.  It’s just a movie,” Abed shrugged, “I can’t predict the future.  In this Tawney has a crush on my character…and Pierce-“

The girls all looked up at you as the screen progressed, each of their own eyes going wide as they thought back to the conversation that happened around the time Britta got caught cheating on the Spanish test.

You shook your head at them. 

“What up, happy people?” Pierce asked, walking in with a leg splint.

Shirley slammed her fist down on the table, “you tell e my future right now, you evil wizard!”

“Shirley!” you gasped.

“By the way, Jeff.  I think your shirt’s trying to get out of your pants!” Pierce said, pointing to Jeff’s matching shirt and socks.

“I gotta go…” you lied, getting up to make your exit from the study room.

“Oh, I can walk you to your next class!”

“I-it’s not a class!” you said quickly, shaking your head at Abed.

“Oh, well to Professor Duncan’s office then,” he offered, “we can stop by the cafeteria and get some coffee from the coffee shop.  I know today’s your long day!”

The girls started giggling at you, and you felt like your cheeks were heating up even more as you gathered your books, “I-it’s okay Abed.  Don’ worry about it!”

You bolted without another word from the group, ignoring the calls to come back from Britta, Annie, and Shirley.  But you didn’t walk quick enough to evade Abed, who was already hot on your trail.

“Tawney…Tawney, wait!” Abed said quickly. 

“I-I’m sorry, Abed.  I should go!”

“Hey…wait…Tawney, what’s going on?”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“With you?” he asked quickly, pointing back to the room, “a-are you freaked out about the movies I’ve been making too?  I can’t see the future!  I swear!”

“Abed…your videos are right!” you sighed.

“What?” he chuckled, “no.  It’s just a coincidence.  I-“

“I do like you!” you said quickly, cutting him off.  You took a deep breath, needing to continue before you lost your edge, “your videos are right.  I do have a crush on you.  I told the girls last month…it’s just…when you do all these little things like walking me all over campus, and giving me your hoodie because I’m cold-“

“Well, that’s just logic,” he said simply, cutting you off, “you were cold, and I wasn’t.  It’s safer to walk in pairs.  I just-“

“All those little things add up though,” you pointed out, “and they made me realize that I liked you.  I like our walks all over campus…and when you come and visit me when I’m grading papers in my dorm.  And when you remember my long days.  And when we have movie nights in your dorm and watch all of the Batman films in the correct order of who played the best Batman versus Bruce Wayne!”

“I like that too!” he said simply, the smallest of smiles on his face, “and I really like the fact that you see the logic in how we’ve rated them.”

“It’s because it’s the only right way!” you giggled.

“If I’m being honest…I like you too, Tawney,” he admitted, “it-it’s just easier to hide it behind the lens, and pretend that it doesn’t exist…like we’re on a tv show or in a movie.”

“Yeah…”

“So where do we go from here?” he asked.

“I-I don’t know!” you admitted, “but I-I want to find out!”

“Yeah,” he agreed, nodding along to what you were saying, “me too…”

“Okay…”

“So…can I walk you to get a coffee?” he asked, “and then to Professor Duncan’s office.

“I-I was actually going to go back to my dorm for a little bit and grade some papers,” you admitted, “but if you want…we can call that place we both like and order some takeout.”

“We can order the chicken parm for you…” he smiled.

“And you can get your buttered noodles.”

“I’d like that!” he smiled.

Chapter 3

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @mckeeee-1, @prokey16

[xxarmchairphilosopherxx]

There's this odd trend in anime, have you noticed it yet?

It’s actually been there for a while, hell maybe since some of its early and most beloved days. It's mystic shrines tended to by beautiful maidans, wise elders beseeching the forces beyond on behalf of their people, and those so special moments shared by all who live around them… That’s right baby it’s the Spanish inquisition!!!!

Well technically it's the larger organization from which the surprising Spaniards derived from. Of course I mean the catholic church. That’s right from Trigon to Black lagoon to whatever the hell Black clover thinks nuns are, the Japanese anime industry is in love with the Bishop of Rome’s fan club. And while many enjoy these shoutouts or are just as equally confused by them, few have sought to shed light on this subject. But those who do I got some protestant v catholic beef with yell.

Many posit that the Japanese place so many Catholic imagery, ideas, and design motifs into their shows simply because it’s this interesting foreign thing that just looks neat. Pic related.

Well I say nay nay to that. Before we dive into the REAL reason for why Japan actually loves them Roman Residents, that the feds don’t want you to know. We must first at least cast off this lesser understanding.

                Ok now that clickbait dramatics are out of the way this idea of Japanese fascination with Catholics and Christianity as a whole being purely based of aesthetics and just vague interest is not inherently wrong. But I do find it to be incomplete. I mean come on if they want some weird ass religion to put in their show they got India and Hinduism right across the way. Now this is no slight at my beloved Hindis out there but ya'll got to admit your religion would make the most balls to the walls kickass anime since Gurren Lagan destroyed my eyeballs and left for dead in Cincinnati.

(Cough Cough) Furthermore, I just find that there are other options for Japan that they seem to completely ignore. I mean why not Judaism or Islam, hell why not even other forms of Christianity like Greek Orthodoxy or even Mormonism. NO!

There is something special about Catholicism that these cool cats in Tokyo can’t get enough of and I’m about to blow your mind with it...

It’s not what’s different but what they have in common.

No I’m serious! There are numerous and very shocking similarities that make Catholicism the perfect mix of mysterious and familiar for the Japanese/Shinto palate.

            First and foremost of these is chivalry. When one looks into the history of Bushido one will always find the Buddha specifically the Zen Buddhism mixed in with their own Shinto background. From this fertile soil of respect for nature and stoicism would sprout into the powerful flower of the bushido code. And oh, would you look at that that’s right! After the European horseman of old got sipping that sweet Catholic eucharist wine, what did they end up doing? Giving themselves a rule book called chivalry to keep them in line with that heavenly way. So obviously when a Japanese man would trace the lines, he’d be like "oh, so this is like what Zen and Shinto was like to the samurai? That’s pretty neat let’s throw it in my new anime."

            Another odd one is gonna get a little more esoteric so work with me here. I believe that both the Catholic Church and Shintoism both have this acknowledgement of a similar phenomenon. The inherent mystic power of the feminine touch.

See shrine maidans and nuns. Both are almost synonymous when one thinks of their respective church or shrine. Like ask a western man what he thinks when you say catholic church... and after all the profane shit, he’ll likely say nuns. A similar phenomena would be seen in the Japanese man... minus the profanity. I believe this similarity exists because both Catholicism and Shintoism accounted for that special touch a woman can bring to a place. That grace and delicate nature, that way of mysterious connection to the more stranger aspects of the world. It’s like this meme.

            Now next is another weird one that came to mind. They both have this ritualistic respect of water. For the Catholic this is baptism and the use of holy water to bless one’s self and other objects, a similar concept exists in Japan where one washes their hands before entering a Shrine and then there is the use of ritualistic waterfall bathing, Misogi.

now this is like baptism on steroids so here’s another handshake meme.

           

Alright now we can really get into the anime shit. Demons!!! Not only do they both share a common insane lore of specific demons and all the fucked-up shenanigans that ensue, but they also have equal amounts of exorcisms and exorcists to kick infernal ass. Seriously, I think this is like the main reason why we see so many Catholics in anime fighting demons. It's as old as the Nazarene Himself. So when a Japanese man hears something about Jesus casting out a thousand demon host named Legion you better believed he’s gonna go home and write some kick ass manga featuring some big ass demon named Legion. Said Japanese man pictured here

It's gonna be Jump's next big three slot just you wait.

            And finally, to top this all off Imma end it wholesome 100. So there is this huge aspect in Japanese culture where a large majority will go to shrines get themselves and their children blessed and attend and partake in all the festivals, but not really call themselves Shinto. Is this not the same as all of those who go to Easter and Christmas mass even though they couldn't tell you a cross from a crucifix?

This is the final similarity. That something beyond the theology which binds the community together. And even though these so called 'different' worlds are oceans apart they share this community bond, that little slice of unity in this crazy world and makes it all worth it. And that kid is what we call in the philosophy Bizz an universal concept… and a way to make some kick ass anime.

Anyway that's about it smell you later hoped you learned something.

[jodilin65]

SUNDAY, JULY 30, 1989 I slept for almost 16 hours as I was exhausted and just spoke to Andy at work.

I really ought to study my Spanish. I could be great in only a few more months of study.

Jessie and I were gonna go shopping today, but her sister Melissa borrowed her car and never brought it back so we’re gonna try to go tomorrow.

It’s now 5:00, and I’ve had only 5 cigarettes since 8:00 which is excellent, but I really shouldn’t be smoking at all. Nervous is on his way over with a pack of smokes nonetheless. After he leaves I’m gonna go listen to music and just wait for Andy to call me back.

FRIDAY, JULY 28, 1989 We just had an awesome time at the beach. Andy said for me and Juliet, who also writes in a journal, to say hi to this book. So, as I started to say, we went to the beach at 9:00 and saw Tammy and Bill, but Becky and Lisa were asleep. Tammy needs to borrow a couple of hundred dollars. If I do lend it to her, I hope she can return it as soon as possible. I’m not rich yet. I still want to buy a guitar and a VCR, too.

It was pitch dark, and me, Andy and Juliet sat on the flat rocks and our rocks and the breeze was just beautiful, then it started to thunder and lightning and it lit up the whole ocean so you could see Long Island Sound. The most awesome thing about it all was that I sang one song after another, and I did great.

Later…

Another great day today and some great color I got, too! I saw my nieces and Tammy, who’s mailing me a thick 25” gold chain which costs $100 that she sold me for $50.

Last night, after I wrote, we called Nervous and just kept him hanging on the line forever. There were 3 different calls we made which will be for almost two hours total. Me and Andy would tell him to hang on and that we’d be right back, then we’d leave him hanging for 5-10 minutes. It was hilarious. I listened to about 7 songs on the box while he waited.

Is that a sucker or is that a sucker?

Later…

I called Fran who got in touch with me a few days ago and gave me his new number, and this woman named Bobbie whom he’s friends with. Bobbie and I talked for quite a while. She’s bi and has been married 4 times, and has basically given up on men. She says she’s been with 4 women, and just like the typical pattern of what’s in the cards for me, she wants to meet me. I mean, I can tell just by just talking to her that she’s typical of what I get. She’s on SSI cuz she’s afraid to leave her house. She can’t take the bus by herself. She’s on medication for nerves and just doesn’t sound too stable. Now is that typical of what I get, or what? Plus, she’s 48 years old and my height! Can’t I get someone taller and more stable? She says she’s feminine, hates butches too, and also can’t understand why women who hate men want to look like them. She’s Lebanese, feminine, has eyes like Gloria’s, wears makeup, skirts, and high heels, but has very, very short hair. I hate short hair, but she says she looks good in it cuz she has a small face. There have been some shorthaired women who were attractive, but overall I prefer long hair. I’ll meet her and possibly be her friend, but that’s as far as it’s gonna go. Plus, she’s probably not as feminine as she says she is.

THURSDAY, JULY 27, 1989 This is the day I was admitted to the Brattleboro Retreat in 1981. It’s been 8 years since that rather traumatic day. It still seems my past is something so embarrassing and humiliating that I’ll always have to live with and run around trying to cover up and hide from everyone all my life. On the other hand, I’ve become very proud of my background cuz I’ve come such a long way and have developed so many different skills and talents. Not too many people make it out on their own for 4 years after going through what I’ve gone through and being where I’ve been. Brattleboro and Valleyhead were like Alcatraz. You go there and you either come out dead or alive and if you’re alive, you’d better hope you’re sane!

Later…

Well, I just finished playing the piano, and believe it or not, I could play Can’t Stay Away from You, but my timing was way off, as usual. As far as the Canciones de mi Padre book, I got absolutely nowhere. I tried Por un Amor and La Ciggarra only to fuck up left and right. I did start composing Rooms on Fire, but first I want Andy to write me the lyrics. As far as sheet music is concerned, well, it’s much easier if I just compose and write the music myself on piano staff paper by ear. Obviously, this is why God and Nana and Pa gave me the gift of perfect pitch, so I’ll use it. As far as other songs I need to compose, well, there’s My Time Has Come, Carry Me Away and the last two songs I recently wrote which are On and On and Dreaming and Believing.

When I was jamming with Jeanie in #15, she played and sang me a song she wrote, and it was beautiful. She says she’ll give me a demo of it so I can sing it and play it on la guitarra.

I still need to learn the rest of Gloria’s tape and the Judds, too. Cuts Both Ways and River of Time.

I was teasing Nerve earlier over the phone. Andy was so right when he said, “What a sucker to take all that abuse and let you use him.”

Well, he’s got nothing better to do as desperate as he is and males are only good to use, but he’s always paid back.

I polished my nails white earlier and I need to put on the second coat.

Later…

Yes, as usual, I am still wide awake. I’m all hyped up about being here with Andy and Juliet. We’re staying at the Suisse Chalet. I still like Howard Johnson’s better with their indoor pool which is always fairly empty, free local phone calls and their restaurant. And here, in order to get to the vending machines, you’ve got to go outside. Ain’t that weird? What about in the winter? And what do the housekeepers do in the winter? There’s no door to a hallway, only outside. They have a huge outdoor pool here which Andy and I went in and it felt great. The ride down here was unbearably hot.

After we swam Andy and Juliet decided to go to the beach, but I just wanted to hang back. Especially after being up since 8:00 last night.

We’re gonna go eat dinner and all go to the beach later. I want to see Tammy and the kids. I already made the first call to Nervous. I’m just listening to Gloria’s new tape, but God knows I’ll sleep like a rock tonight. I’m just too hyped up right now.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 26, 1989 I’ve been busting my ass since work last night. I made almost $60 last night. We worked till 7:00, but we thought we only had to work till the usual 6:00.

I haven’t gone to bed yet. I watched an interview with Gloria’s on Good Morning America and her hair looked awful. I wish she’d leave her hair black rather than lighten it the way she does.

So, I also cleaned up around here and am doing some laundry which is now in the dryer. Can’t wait to have to carry it up here. All 60 stairs!

Tomorrow Andy’s gonna stop at Saratoga Drug so I can get my food stamps on the way to the beach. We’re going with Juliet, a good friend of Andy’s that he went to school with. I met her last fall when we all went to the Frontier. Juliet broke up with her boyfriend and is now looking to date women. I like her a lot and she’s somewhat pretty, but she needs to style her hair a bit, wear makeup and nicer clothes. Her clothes are so dark and dreary. She just wears jeans or corduroys and sweatshirts. Andy says she never shaves and very seldom showers. How gross. Not everyone’s into cleanliness, I guess.

Later I’m gonna have Nervous pick me up another journal and some coffee cuz I’m not going grocery shopping until Saturday. At least the laundry will be done, though, and my geek uniform.

I’m gonna call Janet at the dating service to see what’s going on.

Next time I make a deposit at the bank, I’m gonna get stamps if they still sell them. Shopper’s sells them. I haven’t been in there in a long time. Next time I get a prescription I’ll have to visit Monte and everyone.

I’m borrowing Steve’s guitar and it is awesome! Everything is so easy to play on this thing, including bar chords. It’s a $400 guitar. I’m gonna buy myself one for sure, and a VCR, too!

I hope my clothes are all dry. They should be. I’ll get them in 20 minutes, shower, then go to bed.

Later…

I fell asleep shortly after noon and got up at 8:00 to watch Unsolved Mysteries.

Right now I’m a little bored so I’m gonna learn the song Rooms On Fire by Stevie Nicks and try to compose it for Andy. He gave me the cassette single. It’s a time-consuming bitch, but I am in the mood with really nothing better to do so I’m gonna go take advantage of it.

THURSDAY, JULY 20, 1989 Well, I have been basically in a fairly good mood for the last 3 days, since I’ve been taking my meds every other day. I’d rather have a few twitches here and there than be a spastic bundle of nerves.

Last night I had a great time at work and made $44 without stealing.

The funniest thing happened to Andy and me tonight. We both got laid. But of course, I couldn’t help but get the opposite sex with my shit luck. It was with Mark.

Andy got this guy he knew from the last time he worked at Denny’s who’s married with kids but in the closet. He had this guy two years ago, too.

And with me, of course I can’t get a woman and always have to settle for a guy or second best. Me and Mark screwed around. All he did was lick me off cuz he was so huge that there was no way I could take him inside, and also no way I was gonna put my mouth on that thing. He never came, though. That was good too, so there’d be no white sticky shit all over.

I called the dating service with the intention of bitching them out, getting a refund, or taking them to court, but this sexy woman with an English accent came right out and bluntly told me Pam, the bitch who interviewed me, was fired for deliberately mismatching people with the opposite of what they wanted. I didn’t know she did this.

Anyway, I had a pleasant talk with the woman, whose name is Janet, and on behalf of Pam fucking things up, they’re gonna send 3 more people free of charge. I’m still hesitant, and my belief still remains the same; that it wasn’t meant to be and that God wants me to have sex with only unattractive people, but if I get just a friend out of this, then fine, even if it’s a lot to pay for a friend.

FRIDAY, JULY 14, 1989 Well, here we are on our way to the beach, but it is fucking pouring now. It was coming down so hard we could barely see.

Andy said to tell this book that we are now passing through Fartford.

It is still pouring.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 12, 1989 Work was excellent last night and a lot of fun, although last night it was one hell of a fucking bitch and I was threatening to quit. It’s better than being home miserable all the time, though, and the money is great which I desperately need. Last night I made good money considering the fact that it was deader than dead. Made $63, but stole one check, so it would’ve been about $45 or so, but that’s still quite decent. I had the most customers. I like sections 4-5 the best cuz it has the least and the easiest side work. Everyone hates section 3 with the salad bar. Andy and I are usually on alone from 4-6 cuz Bonnie and Suzanne are married with kids so they leave at 4:00. I haven’t seen Patty in a while. I think she’s on vacation. Robin might have quit, but I hear Libby definitely quit. She couldn’t handle it. God! I thought I was a wimp!

We got this new cook named Guy who’s pretty nice, so with him, Roger, Scott and Glen it’s a pretty damn good crew. Everyone has a great sense of humor, although Jayke sure can be a hell of a bitch, but she is damn good as a cook. She can get 10 orders up quicker than you can blink an eye. When she’s not cooking, though, or everything’s going her way, she’s a lot of fun and super nice.

Sometimes I’ll write about our regular customers but now I’ve got to go listen to music, finish my coffee, then go to bed.

MONDAY, JULY 10, 1989 Our stay at the hotel was fun and the funniest thing happened. Well, Andy and I couldn’t sleep so, assuming that a call outside the hotel would cost us, we harassed people in other rooms at the hotel and got caught. The phone rang and it was the guy at the front desk. We pretended we were sleeping and he apologized saying there must be some mistake.

Then before we left, we wrote this wacky, senseless letter to Cheryl, the housekeeper, mixing lyrics and whatever else came to mind.

Sure enough, though, as we were checking out, we found out there was no charge on local calls, after all. We could’ve harassed the whole town of Old Lyme.

So, the next day at the beach, we met up with Betty Ann L and her mother. I remember them from when I was a kid. They don’t go to the beach regularly anymore. We also found out that Betty Ann, who’s beautiful, had a younger sister who died of a drug overdose at age 21.

FRIDAY, JULY 7, 1989 We made it to the beach. Thank fucking God! We’re staying at the Howard Johnson’s instead so we have a bathroom and a shower.

I’m just gonna make this real brief then go to bed. Believe it or not, Andy’s gone to bed. The sun totally drained us. But it’s so good to feel so relaxed and happy. At the beach, I saw Tammy, Bill and the kids, and I can’t believe for the life of me how much Becky’s grown. She walks just fine now and her hair’s long, too.

I’m definitely darker, but I hope to get much more color tomorrow.

Checkout time is 11 AM.

THURSDAY, JULY 6, 1989 Well, I just got back from court and I have to go back again in October. It looks like this case will also get dismissed. There was this lawyer there that I’d seen many times before who was hideously ugly. I could tell he liked me by the way he helped me get my M&M’s out of the vending machine after they got stuck. He bought me more when he couldn’t get them out.

My lawyer’s quite ugly too, but seems nice. I dressed really well today in my new purple outfit and I know I looked good. Better than most women. Everybody stared at me.

When I got off the bus here, I spoke with Mark who was working on his car. I guess the idiot below me smashed his windshield. Mark and his brother want to kill him.

I wish they would.

Last night I had a spaghetti dinner at Mark’s and met his brother Tom and his wife Holly. They’re so nice and fun to be with. We laughed like crazy, exchanging jokes. We kept ringing the idiot’s doorbell, too. We tried to call but his line was busy. Today, after Tom and a friend of his painted all the porches, they threw off a tire that the prick had on his porch.

I really like Mark a lot. We have great talks like we did last night and we think a lot alike and he’s not the typical male, but I’m just not attracted to men. I need a woman yet I know I could never get involved with a man or a woman. I’m too hooked on fantasy, used to being alone, and will not be hurt again.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 5, 1989 Mark was here for about two hours and we had an excellent talk. He and I think a lot alike and we seem to share the same opinion on men, sex and life in general. It pleases me to have met another fairly decent guy. Especially one who’s my neighbor. He’s the type a woman feels safe having around unlike Jai who’s defenseless and rather wimpy.

Speaking of Jai, well, he and Jenny called tonight. I may go down to Charlottesville, Virginia where Jenny’s living for a few days by train, then come back up here with them.

I feel so stuffed up it isn’t funny. Even Mark and Nervous feel it, too.

I called Bruce around midnight and we chatted for about 10 minutes or so. He said after I called him he fell asleep till 4:00. Maybe tomorrow he’ll come over, he says, after work.

I really want to buy a new guitar and real soon, too. It’ll inspire me to play more too, one that’s easier, I mean. A nylon-strung one, rather than steel-strung.

I wonder if it’s busy now at work. Andy’s there now. I called Crosby earlier this afternoon to see if he needed help tonight and he said no, there were 3 people on.

I wonder if Maria will dare show up again. I highly doubt it.

This morning I got a prank call and I know it was either connected to her or the waterbed guy. A guy claiming to be Ed said he wanted to “cum right in my mouth.”

I said “Thank you,” and hung up. It was definitely either related to Maria or the guy who delivered my waterbed for sure. I’m not that stupid, cuz when a guy, no matter how professional he is, gets a girl’s number who’s gay, you know the first thing that’s on their mind is sex. I figured this would happen, but I can deal with it just fine and I kind of doubt it was connected to Maria. You never know, but I do doubt it.

TUESDAY, JULY 4, 1989 I’m so fucking pissed! I’m gonna scream at Jim! My money was never left in my mailbox and I just left a message on his machine. The longer he takes, the more messages he’ll get. And they won’t be nice!

Andy and I spoke earlier and he said he was going to Mary’s cuz she’s sick and wants to make her dinner. She came into Denny’s two nights ago. She’s as beautiful as he always told me she was.

Nervous just left a little while ago after I sang for him. I’ve been singing all day and am very happy to say it was pretty damn decent for a change. I just wish I didn’t smoke or was short of breath.

Later…

I just finished eating some fettuccini noodles.

I’ll be hearing firecrackers going off all night, but as far as I know, the city of Springfield is not having the firecrackers cuz of the budget cuts.

Bruce was supposed to come over today but never did and there’s no answer at his place. I knew this would happen and I’m not the least bit surprised. He’s so much like Al.

Also, Mark was supposed to come up with his daughter but never did.

It seems no one’s home. Jessie doesn’t answer. Emily’s not home either, but I left a message on her machine. Stuart’s in his usual bad mood.

Speaking of Mark, he just called and is on his way up.

MONDAY, JULY 3, 1989 Andy and I just finished talking and making some calls and crossing people. We were well due for some fun. We haven’t made any calls in over a month or so.

Last night was pretty hectic for a while at work. It was pretty busy from the time we went in till almost 3:30 cuz of the July 4th holiday weekend.

Maria was in again for the second time with her so-called boyfriend. I walked up to her and asked if she’d been to the Frontier lately and she said no, then asked me if I’d been there. I told her no cuz there are nothing but jerks there. Her. Then while her boyfriend said nothing, I bitched her out about never returning my barrette, telling her it had been a gift from my aunt. So then she asked me if I was having a bad day, and not to bug her about a barrette. Then she asked if she could talk to the manager. I told her that what goes around comes around, then I walked off.

So after that, Andy went up to her pretending not to know what happened and asked her what was wrong. She was literally in tears crying and she said, “It’s Jodi. I’ve got to get out of here before I smack her!”

Andy was really proud of me for standing up to the head player, and we were laughing so hard about it. Maria’s such an idiot.

Later…

It pisses me off that I’m still awake! I started to fall asleep till Jim called telling me he had my money after I called there and threatened him through his secretary. I told him to slip it into my mailbox. He said he would tonight.

We’ll see.

Nervous deposited $398 in the bank for me earlier. My balance is $1042 but with all my bills deducted it’s only about $675. I just paid for the gas and electricity.

Well, I’m gonna finish my coffee then try hard as hell to sleep and even harder to get up later. I wish I didn’t have to work tonight but it’s only one more night, not two like I thought. I called and checked. Nervous might come in tonight at around 1:00. If not tonight, then he said he would another time. He better not step out of line, though, and be all nerved up or I’ll kick him out for damn sure.

SUNDAY, JULY 2, 1989 I had an excellent night at work. I made a little over $50 and felt so confident and at ease. I did it!!! I am definitely gonna keep this job. I owe so much to Andy, though. If it weren’t for him, not only would I not play the piano like I do now, but I’d still be so lost with no one, no job, no confidence. He says he’s really proud of me and that he knew I wasn’t a weakling.

Jayke and Scott were so happy I didn’t quit and that I stuck it out and the managers are really proud of me, too. Also, last night both Robin and Libby treated me like gold and were such sweethearts. Pattie and Bonnie were off last night. So the night shift is just me, Andy, Bonnie, Pattie, Libby, Robin, Jayke, Rich, Scott and Glen. It’s an excellent crew. Sometimes when things get hectic, people get bitchy, but basically, everyone gets along and helps each other when needed.

I’m working the next 3 nights and deducting my rent and bills, I have about $500 and it’s only the beginning of the month! It totally blows my mind!

I’m definitely gonna buy a new guitar and a VCR someday soon, and go back and get that suit and possibly more clothes. Other than that, I’m gonna save most of it and let it build up.

I feel so bad for Andy, though. He doesn’t make shit cuz he’s a guy, though he does a damn good job.

SATURDAY, JULY 1, 1989 I didn’t enjoy work last night, though I didn’t feel nervous, knew exactly what to do, and did it well. I made $37 in tips, plus $44 in my paycheck, then towards the end, I waited on two huge tables with several people and ended up with another $20. So $110 in all is not bad at all.

Andy and I were gonna go to the beach today, but it’s a little cloudy, and also, we may be wide awake now, but in a few hours we’ll be exhausted, so we postponed it until next week. I need to catch up on my sleep anyway, cuz yesterday I got up at 8:00 in the morning, then last night I only slept for two hours.

Yesterday I had a great time with Mom and Dad. They told me to shop in McCrory’s and to buy anything I wanted and I bought almost $80 worth of stuff. I got these gorgeous outfits that look great on me. Three miniskirts with thick black waistbands and matching tops in deep purple, deep aqua and then one in black and white. I also got a sexy nightie, panties, nail polish, curtain rods, and also a real sexy half-shirt. I should’ve bought more outfits and I kind of want to go back and shop some more with the $20 they gave me. They didn’t have the pens I wanted or any journals. I got a really nice pair of shoes for $40.

Later…

Soon I leave for work which I’m not in the mood for, but usually, once I get there, I get in the mood. I don’t know how long tonight I’ll be working but I hope not long. If it is long though, the money never hurts.

Just a little while ago I went to the mall with Andy. I bought a really nice halter top with gathered material at the bust. It’s gold with big black polka dots. I also bought two more of those skirts with matching tops. One’s red with tiny white dots and one’s dark green. Last but not least, I bought two more of those snug half-shirts too, in blue and purple, and two pairs of knee-highs.

There’s this bathing suit I saw and liked, but I didn’t feel like spending another $25 and that’s what it costs, but I should’ve cuz I’ll make more than that back tonight. It’s bright green with fringes.

I’ve made out so well as far as clothes in the last two days.

Today, thank God, and thanks to Nervous, who carried everything up and down the stairs, I got all my laundry and even my blue satin comforter and brown blankets done.

The only thing that sucks about winter is that I won’t be able to wear all my nice summer clothes. No beach either. Winter’s a pain in the ass with sweatshirts, long pants, coats, gloves, hats and boots. Maybe I do prefer summer in some ways, but I still feel better in the winter.

[toalliveloved]

I knew I’d find my way back here. I always do, of course after a night of one too many, like a shattered glass with my guts spilled out on the floor. It’s 3:26p 5/21/24. Some force yesterday made me reminisce drunk beach days in Revere. I mixed up a Jose Cuervo failed Paloma into a small coffee cup and laid out on the Beach. I clearly haven’t learned, though I admit again and again that alcohol is especially detrimental to my mental health. Alcohol had washed me out to sea, and spit me back out on the shore.

Lisandro wanted to start the day off earlier, I did too, but. The thought of being seen with him in public didn’t terribly shake me. I didn’t have anything (I had homework) to worry about. So, the sea was turquoise and calm, it was a quiet Monday evening in North Beach. On my second cup, I couldn’t hide the bottle or my feelings anymore. I began to argue with him about eeeverything BUT the fact that I’m not sure why we are even together. You could describe our relationship as two individuals who met on the beach, who got in the water stuck in this riptide that’s just dragging us out

He does take care of me everyday, though. He’s supported me when I hit the ground after quitting my job. He’s incredibly patient and appears to love the firecracker that I am to some degree. Importantly, he sits in the passenger seat of whatever sick, dangerous ride this life is taking me on. He certainly has tried and is trying for our relationship- but it comes at such an expense. At times, mania has had me so far removed, so far that I’ve married a stranger.

I was sold on running away with him to Spain when I gave up on life again. He spent every penny he had on lawyers fees to obtain his US citizenship from me. He is currently in the process of obtaining a Spanish citizenship by way of his 72 year old mother in Argentina. He is relentlessly making dual citizenship his highest priority. He never even got on one knee. I’m currently sitting backseat to my own marriage. I was giving my life away to him because I didn’t want it anymore. I just silently, vulnerably signed my life away. He never even got on one knee.

I argued with him about nothing on our (or my) drunk drive down the street to my shoebox efficiency. He is always so patient with me, though it helps we don’t speak the same language. I silent cried after he ignored me for a while. He joined me at the table and cut peppers with me. I loved that he still loves me, when we both know I have fallen out of love. It brings tears to my eyes that he avoids uncomfortable conversations but I understand that it’s maybe what’s best. The unknown has allowed us to coexist vs making another very rash decision of separating. He wants to leave but he can’t with me. Much like I’m tied equally as tight to him.

He knew that I did it to help him. He admires that sacrifice I made. I can’t help but feel sad for him because maybe I was his last resort at living a normal life here. That he was my last resort for what initially felt like true love. Overtime, we begin to uncover the many faces we have worn in the past. His smile lines indicate that he has smiled through his pain. My scars indicate that I destructed through my pain. We are not the same, I wouldn’t want to touch me in three months either.

Besides my marriage, my life was already circling the drain. These recent years after George, I have never been the same. I haven’t experienced that amount of happiness and security in almost 3 years. I ruin all of my relationships. This applies to losing my pet, the love of my life and my very best friends all in the same time period. All have been a result of irresponsible alcohol use. All have been a result of giving up and running away and repeating it all over.

[zepskies]

@kaleldobrev Oh my God, so first of all, this is AMAZING. Thank you so so much for reviewing the whole series like this!!! 😭😭💓💓💓

Lmao it's absolutely a trip, and I'm so glad you enjoyed the ride!! I'm so excited to dive into your comments, so here we go:

Prologue:

AS SOMEONE WHO WORKS FOR COUNTY GOVERNMENT THIS HIT HOME

LOL yeah I could very much imagine that! 😂

Chapter 1:

^^ This whole fucking exchange was SOLID GOLD - the completely fabricated line was just PERFECT & poor M.M <3

"Solid Gold," you say? 😏

Her friendship with Annie is super cute. I love that Annie is genuinely interested in who she is as a person (as you pointed out)

I felt like Annie would be the first one to readily embrace another woman in the group!

Really excited to read more about her relationship with her sister. I love that reader is doing everything in her power to try and help out her sister get the best freaking education that she can <3

Yeah I modeled this reader as a kind of "female Dean" with certain personality traits and background, so even though you don't see Louisa too much, her "presence" is felt in how the reader makes her choices/motivations.

Chapter 2:

Love the fact that she decided to sing a song that her grandmother used to sing to her when she was kid <3

Sentimentality, family, nostalgia -- these are all themes I played with in this, and as you saw, it later plays in with Ben's background and hidden sentimentality.

^^"He couldn't even pick me up himself? Lazy." - This line made me freaking wheeze

😂 Ben really thinks he's a little king of his own castle, so to speak. Just hand-picking girls to come service him. Little does he know, he's gonna get more than he bargained for. (But really he knows exactly who she is, and is sending her to his room intentionally.)

^^RUH-OH *nervously chuckles*

Yeah Ben's an asshole, but he's not that much of an asshole, if you catch my drift.

Chapter 3:

Oh, Ben's definitely loving her sass. Her fiery personality is probably half the reason he keeps her alive, tbh.

And lmao Butcher was definitely outvoted. The rest of the team likes her too!

Chapter 4:

“Bad girls get punished. Is that what you want, sweetheart?” he asked.  ^^ Oh...no...please don't punish me Ben... ;) ^^ Please punish me though

🤣🤣 Girl same tho. And he was SO long-suffering about having to save her ("being inconvenienced" is exactly what I was going for). But he already likes her spirit.

Chapter 5:

I sense a friendship between her & Frank coming!

Oh yes! Creating the reader x Frank friendship was definitely one of my favorites in this series. 🥲 I actually really took my by surprise how much everyone loved his character (and Loco and Saul).

^^Just really loved this section. Like I said before, even though she got kidnapped by him and his men, Ben seems to be really interested in who she is as a person. "Whatever was keeping him awake, he seemed to crave the company as you rifled through the pantry." This line really spoke to me for some reason

Bottom line: Ben is lonely and suffering PTSD and doesn't want to admit it. She's interesting to him and he doesn't want to admit it. He wants to figure her out and doesn't want to admit it. 😂

The fact he wasn't even fazed when she walked in on him xD

Oh he has absolutely no shame. 😂 In Spanish we call that (and him), "sin vergüenza."

FINALLY SOME CLOTHES THAT FIT HER

IKR? Poor girl. 😂

Chapter 6:

Oof, this one's a doozy.

I'm living for the Frank & Loco dynamic!!! <3

I'm so glad, especially living for the "wishing these guys were on the show" compliment, because that warms me every time I hear it. 🥹🥹 I loved creating Ben's group of henchmen.

Lmfao the "hemorrhoid" line was probably my favorite to write for this chapter.

Ben being super sweet with her at she was almost SA'ed like broke me. This line specifically: You wouldn't know how that small gesture affected him as he carried you out of the kitchen

It's a turning point for her and Ben, for sure. It's a bridge of trust that forms between them, and what we call a "save the cat" moment, showing us that Ben's not as big of an asshole as we thought he was.

And it's a turning point for her and Frank as well, when he opens up to her so that she'll let him treat her wounds and check her out medically.

And then the "cooking together" scene -- I call it their Beauty and the Beast "Something there that wasn't there before" moment. 😂😂

Chapter 7:

^^No words. Just...no words...<3

Not gonna lie, I gave myself secondhand embarrassment several times writing this chapter, but thank you!!! 😂😂

I like the fact that even though he wants to fuck her, he's not pressuring her in any way. He may be "an asshole," but at least he doesn't push

And here's my reasoning on that. Ben grew up in the 30s/40s, a much more conservative time overall, societally. Arguably more "respectful," if rigid in societal roles between men and women.

But also, I think it would be a point of pride with Ben -- that he doesn't "need" to push, because why should he when he can have another woman in a heartbeat? (Or at least, that's how he might justify it to himself. Not because he respects her and genuinely likes her or anything. 😘)

^^Loved that he acknowledged this and tried to fix it right away, making sure that he wasn't hurting her (because that's the last thing he wants to do because deep down, he really does care about her even if he's not outwardly saying it)

Exactly. There's a lot of things he won't "outwardly say" before the end loll, but it starts here.

I loved their whole sex scene. It was a good mixture of sexy and humorous

Thank you!! I had fun with it, even though it was challenging for me, as every smut scene is for me. 😅 I like how this one came together though, so I'm glad you did too! 💕

Chapter 8:

^^Looks like they're starting to fall for each other <3

Ahh yes, though neither one would admit it if their lives depended on it. 😂

I really loved the dynamic between Ben and her in this one. I liked that there's some push and pull between them. Giving them little glimpses, but at the same time, still hiding certain things because of the vulnerability that it provides. I especially loved when he shared his favorite thing about his mother - her voice. I think that's why he's very intrigued by reader (at least that's the impression I'm getting)

There's a lot of give and take right? Thank you for mentioning "vulnerability," because that's what they're dipping into here, two steps forward, one step back. And I'm glad you like the connection with his mother and the reader, as that's probably one of the only people in Ben's life that he truly loved. So it's subliminally drawing ties for him from the reader to his mother -- especially through her voice.

Chapter 9:

Oh ALL the mixed feelings in this chapter, I get it. 😂 Who tf do you root for in this situation?

And yes, Ben is seriously catching feelings and his actions show it, even if the reader can't tell just yet.

Chapter 10:

^^This made me a lot sadder than I thought it would. Cause she made such a connection with him and here he is in a cooler DEAD. And Ben is just sitting here like, "oh yeah they're...busy...." cause Ben sure as fuck knows that she's gonna be so freaking upset if she finds out

You get it! Exactly. 😭😭

^^BECAUSE SHE'S FALLING FOR YOU, YOU IDIOT

Facts, girl. And Ben's a huge dummy in this chapter. 😂 But he's hurt and lashing out, as injured pride does.

Ben walking in on her sleeping and see her basically fighting for her life when she was dreaming just broke my heart

Ugh, it was hard to write that scene tbh. I debated whether I should have her wake up and find him in her room, but I liked the idea of him comforting her without knowing he was there.

I think it gives us as readers more heartbreak when she remains icy with him later on in the plane, and Ben seems to be his usual asshole self about it. Like "we know how you really feel motherfucker. Why are you being like this?!"

Meanwhile, Butcher had appeared on the tarmac. With a rocket launcher, naturally.  ^^laughed out loud at this one

Lmfao I loved writing Butcher in this, tbh. He's a gem of a character. (And by "gem" I mean deeply fucked in the head, just like SB.)

Chapter 11:

Jon is father of the year honestly (sarcasm obviously)

Ugh, Jon was the worst. I based him off John Winchester, though obviously a much worse one, with far more physical and psychological abuse up his sleeve.

They may be in prison but at least they have each other!

Right? 😂 They're totally fucked, but at least they're together.

I'm gonna miss Frank <3 he was one of my favs

Hehee. 😏

Their little fucking jokes to each other killed me xD

Hahaha I love that you loved it!! I had so much fun with that part, esp the "6 afraid of 7" joke.

When he asked her to sing *SWOON* he truly does love her voice. I love the fact that singing is something that seems to make him feel better cause that's what he remembers his mother doing <3

Thank you so much for shouting out this dynamic. 😭😭 This was one of my favorite things about their relationship and connection.

Chapter 12:

^^I couldn't agree more. Yes he may be an asshole at times but he's not a bad guy (maybe a little misguided sometimes but he's not an awful person). From what I learned through school and my job, people react to trauma differently

So this is just my take on Ben's character, but I think his trauma (tortured for 40 years) actually softened him. I think before 1984, he was probably a massive asshole. Literally the original of asshole supes, selfish, prideful, violent (i.e. Black Noir), male ego at its worst.

The entire Payback team was scared of him. They didn't want to get on his bad side (or "get in his way"). He strut around like the king of his own kingdom, the big swinging dick in the room at all times.

...And yet, he let himself be manipulated by Vought because he enjoyed the fame and the money and the false power it gave him. (Hence Stan Edgar's "true power" monologue with Annie.)

But I think those 40 years gave him a lot to think about. And I think the reader's sympathy and relating to him gave him a reason to soften for her.

“Suck on my balls, sweetheart,” he retorted. He cocked his head to the side.  “Oh wait, you did. Last Tuesday.”  You glared at him with a hot blush spreading across your face. That was not, in fact, last Tuesday. But you didn’t rise to his bait. ^^I almost spat my fucking drink out xD

LMFAO and then we have moments like this. 🤣🤣

I'M SORRY FRANK?! *hello plot twist!!!!*

Hahahaa yess, I love a plot twist! 😜

Frank: "I ain't dead yet!!"

Chapter 13:

“Young lady. I don’t like that,” she said, with all due side eye.  “You don’t like anything, Mother,” you quipped. ^^busted out laughing at this

Lmfao the classic "conservative mom."

Frank huffed. “I think the kids are calling it Frenemies with Benefits.”  ^^Gotta love Frank "trying" to help

Hahaaa oh Frank. He really gives no fucks. 🤣

Chapter 14:

“Alert the media,” you said. “We’ve got the ultimate weapon against Soldier Boy: a slow ride on his dick.” ^^ANOTHER GREAT FUCKING LINE

LOLL "Alert the media" was probably my favorite for this chapter. 🤣

Ben and her had such a lovely morning together getting it on in the kitchen and now they're arguing about the logistics of kid supes being a threat or not because they're supes (Ben you are a supe too my guy, people would consider you a threat - that's real "the pot calling the kettle black")

Oh majorly! But that's kind of his point. He's a supe and he knows he's dangerous. Supes are fair game to him, in a sense, which is part of the reason why he's taken pains to control his strength with her. It's a double standard she calls him out on.

^^I don't know why, but this section really spoke to me

I'm so glad it did! Even now, Ben's struggling to figure her out and how she sees him.

Chapter 15:

Cigars have such a special place in my heart. Even though I hate the smell of cigarette smoke, I like the smell of cigar smoke because my Pop Pop loved his cigars and the smell or mention of them always reminds me of him <3 so this little piece of Ben and her "sharing" the cigar got me all warm and fuzzy <3

Aww I love that so much! Cigars are nostalgic for sure. 🥹

Chapter 16:

This is the first time I've genuinely felt bed for Jon. I'll give him credit, he really did try and fix things in the end (but it was little too late sadly). Happy that he admitted that she was strong "in spite of him" <3

Yeesss I'm glad I was able to achieve that (for the drama of it all). but yeah it was very "day late dollar short." The "in spite of him" line was probably my second favorite line for this chapter, just for how it highlights what the reader as overcome in her life (her inner strength vs. Ben's).

The fact that she has a piece of rebar in her should and she's the one asking are you okay made me laugh so fucking hard like girl (to be fair, I'd the same way xD)

Lmao ever the "giver" mentality. 😂

^^"What would the love of my life do in this moment" is just icing on the cake for me <3

Haha oh Ben, he's trying at least! 😅

“You are strong. You can do anything you want, you know,” you said, smiling wryly. “Including, being a better man.”  ^^No...I'm not crying....(yes i'm tearing up)

And that one was my actual favorite line to write for this chapter. 🥹🥹🥹

PS. Yes, I did catch your Captain America reference <3

Hahaa yesss!! ❤️💙🤍

Chapter 17:

Love a little Hughie & Butcher moment <3

I had to include it! 🥹 I love their broship.

^^It started out as character development and then turned into, "I need to save the woman I love" and I don't know how to feel

You were meant to be conflicted there loll. 😂 On one hand, great that he's actually thinking of her wishes. But also he doesn't want to let her die. He's trying to make the best of a bad situation, before Frank hits him with the ultimate choice...

HE'S DONATING HIS BLOOD TO HER HOLYYYYYY

You are a hero Ben <3

Isn't he though? Holding up the Tower was just Part 1 of his hero test. this was the true ultimate test: what he's willing to sacrifice (letting a public hospital have his DNA so he can save her life).

^^MY HEART. I just *heart eyes* They really are going to be living that apple pie life together uh? <3

They really are! ...Well, after they get some emotional relationship hurdles jumped in the last chapter. 😅

The Epilogue:

^^BEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CALL HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND

IKR? What a dick. But he has his reasons as you saw (understandable ones, but not excuses that he can't overcome for her sake).

The fact that she asked if he even loved her cause he hasn't said in once in the entire time they've known each other really breaks my heart cause like he truly, really does love her. But what kills me is he thinks that buying her stuff is what love is (at least from what I'm reading) also breaks my heart cause like, that's what he's used to growing up in such a rich household. Love is more than buying things for someone and living with them

Absolutely! 😭 This is the crux of it. Ben's learning that love is more than just your actions, and it's not just material or where you live. It's your words as well.

“Nah, man,” he said ruefully. “That’s true motherfuckin’ love.” ^^See, MM gets it xD

And he just about sums up the whole series! 😂😂

^^There's a lot to unpack here before this statement: I can see his point because in his own weird way he did love Crimson Countess and she royally fucked him over. He thought that she loved him back and she didn't, out of fear/fame (like you had stated and the show clearly showed as well), and his father also told him how much of a disappointment he was so he really didn't know what actual love was until he met her. And I think that really scares him, that someone actually does love him despite everything that he has done and actually gave him a fucking chance. Someone that knows there's actual honest to God good in him

"He didn't really know what love was until he met her." <- That's exactly it. And it does scare him, that she genuinely sees him for himself, and wants to be with him anyway. He realizes now what a massive thing it is for someone to love him. And he's just as scared to lose her one day.

^^This fucking got me xD also, the idea of Ben wearing a condom makes me fucking laugh and I have no idea why

Because it's preposterous. 🤣🤣 Ben's got literally no shame, and don't give a fuck. But she knew what she was getting into with him. 😂😂

Final Thoughts:

This whole series was a fucking roller coaster and I enjoyed every single minute of it. The way you write Ben just seems so organic and really true to his character. The character development didn't seem out of nowhere. There was actual reasoning toward the way he feels and the actions that he did. You could see how slowly the two of them started to feel comfortable with each other and how they were both hesitant to do so.

Thank you, my love!! 💞💞 I started writing Ben with "Checkerboard." But I didn't truly feel like I had my interpretation of the character solidified until maybe chapter 4 or 5, to be honest. I revised these chapters so many times I lost count of the versions, all to try and make sure I had his voice, his characterization, his mannerisms as close as possible to what we saw on the show. And the pacing of their slow-burn relationship as believable as possible in the "enemies to lovers" dynamic.

One of my favorite character developments was him giving her a blood transfusion instead of the Temp V because he knew that was something she wouldn't have wanted. "He respected her wishes," I think was the line, and it made me happy to see that. They may not have the most perfect relationship but no relationship is perfect.

Yes that was the line! And that was what I thought his ultimate test of realizing what the reader was trying to tell him in Chapter 9, about collateral damage and taking responsibility for his strength. And if you care about her, prove it.

Their relationship is "perfectly imperfect." Perfect for them and what they are together as deeply flawed people.

You really made me wish that Frank & Loco were characters on the TV show because their vibes were just perfect. They really fit in <3

Aww thank you, lovely!! Like I said, I absolutely love this compliment, and it's high praise for side characters. One of my favorite writing tips I've ever gotten is "write minor characters like they are the protagonist of their own stories." So that's what I try to do. 🥰

And I'm also happy that not only Ben and her got a happy ending but Frank did too as he was finally able to go home to his daughter <3

Yes! Absolutely proper closer for Frank. Because let's be honest, he's the real hero of the story. 🤣🤣

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this massive beast of a story. It's one of my favorites that I've been able to create on here, and I'm so fucking glad you enjoyed it. 💓💓💓

Series Masterlist - Break Me Down

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

AN: For those of you who enjoyed “Checkerboard,” here’s the requested prequel series! It’s gonna be a long road to get to that version of Soldier Boy. Technically this is an AU set post-season 3.

Series Tags/Warnings: **Rated M. (18+ only.) Enemies to frenemies to lovers. Angsty, messy, moral quandaries galore. This is a romance, but it’s a dark world with morally gray and dark characters, including Soldier Boy, of course. **Smut, language, misogyny, violence, and other chapter-specific tags.

Chapters:

Prologue

Part 1 - The Game Begins

Part 2 - You Move Me, Baby

Part 3 - Somewhere Down Below

Part 4 - On the Inside Out

Part 5 - Morning, Night & Day

Part 6 - A Hot Meal

Part 7 - Until Midnight

Part 8 - Something in the Way

Part 9 - Breach

Part 10 - Caught in the Balance

Part 11 - The Lion's Den

Part 12 - All Your Wicked Ways

Part 13 - A Generous Deal

Part 14 - Safe House

Part 15 - The Tower

Part 16 - Soldier Boy

Part 17 - More Than Words Can Say

Epilogue - All My Living Time

Series Complete!

Read More In the BMD-Verse:

Not done reading this version of Soldier Boy x Reader? Well, there's more to their story.

(**Denotes 18+ only)

Love Actually** Ben gets in late on Christmas Eve with a Grinch-like attitude, but you’re determined to force some holiday cheer into his system.

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 - Complete

Checkerboard** You’re not a supe. You’re breakable. Soldier Boy sometimes forgets that.

Strong As Blood** - (Soldier Boy x Reader) After you accidentally break through a solid wood table, you know there’s something wrong with you. You begin to have your suspicions, but can you keep it from Ben long enough to find out? 

(In other words: This is the story of how you and Ben discover that you’re pregnant.)

Part 1 || Part 2 - Complete

Moodboard below created by @chernayawidow:

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Tag List:

Comment below or send me an ask if you'd like to be tagged on future one-shots in this series! And want to be tagged on more stuff (like everything Soldier Boy)?

Here's my Tag List.

[stunudo]

Divided Focus

A Criminal Minds Fan-fiction

Featuring: Spencer Reid x Luke Alvez

Setting: Season 13

Requested: Anonymous

“How about a Ralvez fic where they’re on a case and they’re having sex when they get back to the hotel and Emily (or Penelope or whomever) accidentally walks in on them? Kinda like a small hotel or whatever like when they were on that one case. :)”

A/N: Some smut, some awkwardness, some crime. I kind of made the intrusion intentional, but you’ll see. xoxo Stu

Emily Prentiss spoke to her team gathered in the round table room, the new Unit Chief was certain they had a case in the least expected location.

“Maine?” JJ asked.

“Not just Maine, Houlton, Maine.” Garcia clarified.

“The population of Houlton was roughly six thousand one hundred and twenty three in 2010, considering regional trends, the population hasn’t fluctuated much since.” Spencer Reid’s encyclopedic mind shared with the team.

“Stephen King did gather much inspiration from the secluded reaches of the state.” Tara pointed out.

“Well, this guy is finding victims fairly regularly, a town that small. Someone has had to seen him.” Luke added.

“Right, it’s going to be a tight ship. Small town, small precinct, small accommodations.” Prentiss paused, awaiting the communal groan. “Yes, that means doubling up on rooms.”

“Alright, Simmons, I’m going to do you a solid. You’re rooming with me.” Rossi explained, generously. He leaned back and winked at Alvez, the old Italian read “amore” before it was even wet on the paper.

“Wait, Emily, there is an uneven amount of agents now, who gets the room to themselves?” Spencer had to point out the obvious.

“I do.” Prentiss clarified. “If you have a problem with that, take it up with the chief. Wheels up in twenty.”

JJ and Spencer shared a look, no one dare complain now.

The flight was brisk, landing in the small hobby airport of Houlton International. As Spencer had pointed out; they had a silver lining that the case was called in on a Tuesday, as the airport was unmanned on the weekends. The tiny corner of the state didn’t have government issued SUVs at the ready, so they split between two passenger vans rented from one of the two car rental depots in town.

The police department was attached to the fire department and the town hall. It was, quaint. The mayor and the sheriff were waiting for the team with all the evidence they could muster. They had been severely overwhelmed with the unsub. Luckily for them, the BAU was a well oiled machine. The agents dispersed quickly, each trying to fill in a different set of blanks on their profile.

After aiding the Medical Examiner for most of the morning, Spencer needed to refuel. He and Rossi stopped at the local cafe to grab coffees for the whole team. When they didn’t have Luke’s favorite pastry, Spencer called him for a back up. Rossi rolled his eyes, knowing the special treatment would not have extended to himself or even JJ.

“Hey- yeah, the ME is totally unprepared for the potential remaining victims. – We’re on our way back now– They’re out of bear claws– are you sure? Okay, just wanted to be sure.— You’re welcome. Bye, ba—Alvez.”

“Balvez? That’s an interesting pet name.” Rossi chided.

Spencer balked, “According to Bruess and Pearson, the use of “idiosyncratic communication” or pet names indicate overall relationship satisfaction.”

David Rossi smiled at the BAU’s genius profiler, proud of him and Alvez finding happiness together. “Makes sense to me, kid. I’m buying, but you get to carry the trays, this jacket is new.”

It was almost midnight when the BAU team paired off into their hotel rooms at the Shiretown Inn & Suites just north of I-95. Emily dispersed the room keys and warned everyone that they would be getting a 7am wake up call. The rooms were all adjoining with each other, except for Rossi and Simmons, who had the room at the end of the hall. Alvez had grabbed the first key, putting him and Spencer nearest the split in the hallway. As soon as the door clicked into place, the couple appeared where before there had been two teammates working a gruesome case.

Spencer’s face was savage, his mouth attacking Luke’s neck in hunger. The sloppy kisses scratching as he laid them in a neat row along the crest of Luke’s defined trapezius muscle. Luke’s strong left hand was entwined in Spencer’s untidy curls, his mouth hung open, panting already. With his right, he held Spencer’s lean form to him, needing him closer, fingertips digging the cotton and polyester shirt into the tawny muscles of the genius’s back.

Spencer’s pink lips parted, allowing his unnaturally straight teeth to nip at the bit of Luke’s exposed skin. His large hands were tugging at the hem of Luke’s shirt, his body suddenly over-powering his immense mind. All reason and all work trip decorum were forgotten. Raising his hulking arms, Luke finished Spencer’s efforts, his hands going next for Spencer’s belt as if pulled by some magnetic force.

They moved in time, each removing a new article of clothing, while its wearer finished the discarding upon the well worn carpet. As they approached the bed, Spencer paused in his assault on Luke’s neck and shoulders to take his mouth once more in a sensual, yet sweet kiss. The gentle hum of pleasure resonated through Luke’s broad chest, his hands holding Spencer’s smaller waist in place. Spencer broke the kiss to grab their lube from Luke’s bag. While Luke knowingly removed the scratchy comforter from the bed before Spencer could point out the unhygienic practices of such hotels.

Luke rolled on to the beige blanket and eagerly slipped between the generic white sheets. The cool fabric sent shivers through his naked body adding to the anticipation of what was to come. Or rather, who.

Spencer brought the whole toiletry bag to the bedside table, allowing them less distractions if they got carried away. Spencer tended to be over prepared for the bedroom and yet never thought to pack anything for his go-bag. Luke attributed it to being single for so long; he found it endearing that Spencer never expected sex.

“You’re biting your lip again. Amante, you know what that does to me.” Luke teased, as Spencer approached.

“The image starts in the Orbitofrontal Cortex that sends stimulus to your Amygdala which aids in physiological changes from increased heart rate to vaso-dilation in sexual organs.” Spencer smirked.

“You’re damn right it does. Now get over here.” Luke’s tone was affirming, not demanding. Spencer slid beside his love in the small full sized bed, his body molding around Luke’s side. Luke’s fingers dragged Spencer’s locks back as he began showering Spencer’s defined features with kisses. Luke’s generous lips caressing every inch of the paler man’s face. Spencer’s eyes fluttered closed, basking in the adoration.

Luke rolled slowly, kneeling over Spencer, who was propped up with pillows behind his shoulders and head. The kisses migrated south, Luke’s lips floating over the scruff on his jaw, Luke’s tongue darting out over his drastic Adam’s apple. Spencer moaned gently as Luke’s erection rocked against his left hip. Spencer’s left hand stroking Luke’s length tenderly, using his own side to aid in the friction.

Luke gasped, tisking at his boyfriend and removing Spencer’s hand from his sex, placing the hand gently upon Spencer’s chest. This was not Luke’s turn, Spencer was the one who needed to be sated first tonight. “Oh no, mi amor. Primero es tuyo, tal vez segundo también.”

Spencer reached forward, taking Luke’s irresistible mouth in a fierce kiss. The rich syllables of his heritage making his lover a quivering mess. Luke broke away laughing gently, setting Spencer back down onto the deflated pillows, his hands trailing the length of Spencer’s lean abdomen. Luke centered himself between Spencer’s legs. His tongue and lips swirling over the thin muscles of Spencer’s chest, taking care to begin sharing his attention with Spencer’s pulsing cock.

Spencer sighed, his voice hitching as Luke’s masterful mouth found the tip of his sex, expertly swirling his initial desire down his length. Spencer forced his eyes open, his right hand threading through Luke’s crown of curls. Luke enjoyed his hair being played with almost as much as Spencer did and the gentle hum of his appreciation added to the intense sensations of Luke’s oral performance.

The Hispanic agent increased his pace, sending Spencer into the pulses of euphoria. Spencer’s voice cracked and whimpered, encouraging Luke’s efforts. Luke’s own desire calling for contact, he thrust his hips into the mattress, trying to re-focus on Spencer’s pleasure. Luke’s fingers gently massaged Spencer’s balls, placing pressure just behind them, dragging his climax forth.

“What the fuck!” Spencer barked out, his voice deeper than his previous mewling. Luke held back his grin as his drank in all of Spencer’s seed, slowly decreasing his pace as Spencer softened slightly within him. The men had missed the sound of the chain lock on the adjoining door in Emily’s room. They missed their boss’s sleepy voice calling to them.

Not so suddenly, Emily burst through the door to their room. She found Luke’s shocked face hovering over Spencer’s cock at half mast. Spencer’s dark eyes orbs of recalcitrance, his wide mouth a deep grimace. The unit chief in her borrowed terrycloth robe looked between her two agents mid-coitus and nodded.

“Alright then, not prison nightmares?” She verified with Reid. He nodded and swallowed back his usual verbal ramblings. Luke pulled the sheets up to Spencer’s chest and lay beside him once more. Emily wiped away the shock from her bare face. Slowly her usual giving in face formed, she smiled gently at the couple.

“Just try to keep it down? You have only six hours until wake up call, boys.” And with that Emily Prentiss stomped off to her room, securing both doors with a deep click of each latch.

The rest of the case spanned three days of mind numbing profiling, and adjusting the profile as new evidence and victims were found. The team pressed on, Emily making every effort to protect Reid and Alvez’s relationship. After a drawn out confrontation in the parking lot of the Houlton Walmart, the BAU were able to help the tiny municipality with an arrest.

The team celebrated with a delicious meal at The Vault Restaurant in town. It was an early morning take off in the jet, Prentiss and the pilots arranging to depart the usually vacant airfield with local volunteers seeing them off in gratitude. Despite all the trauma they were leaving behind, the BAU knew they had done their jobs and the town would heal together.

Emily sat across from Rossi as they shared a round of cocktails, it was the weekend after all. Emily smiled in amusement of Luke’s expression as Spencer explained the causality of Dr. Who. Rossi peered over his shoulder and chuckled in agreement with her.

“Who would have thought that it would take all that he’s been through before he found happiness?” Emily mused about her good friend Spencer.

“The fact that they survived the past year proves that this happiness isn’t going anywhere.” Rossi added.

Emily watched the senior agent in wonder, not only did he know, he revealed the length of Reid’s and Alvez’s relationship. She should have known, when it comes to romance; Rossi knew it all.

@ralvezmood @dontshootmespence @hotchnerfuckmeup @reidsexualwriting @ralvezforthewin