#i just want stability and peace so bad but its time like this

[virginstoner666]

end of my fucking rope sunday.

[hanaonesflower]

Iwaizumi finds himself looking at you, puzzled at the way you shy away from his touch. He doesn’t quite get it. But he doesn’t want to push. Hajime does what he knows how to do best; talks it out. Or he tries really hard to. Ever since he’s been more comfortable around you, his arms often swing behind your shoulders and his hands usually are intertwined with yours but he hasn’t stopped to notice that you don’t openly accept his touches.

“Honey, stop.” His tone far from harsh but it still manages to stop you dead in your tracks. You turn to see him, finding your lover standing a couple feet away from you, his arms unoccupied, flinching with the itch for wanting to hold you.

“Hi? Is something wrong?” Regardless of how it may seem, Hajime is not good with his words. He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times only for hopeless croaks to escape his throat. He looks, sad. So, so sad. His arms are being brought up, holding out as if he is collecting a reward, well in this case the reward would be to hold you longer.

“Can you come here, please?” Oddly enough you don’t protest, you don’t try to question him. Instead you step towards him as if someone has possessed you, Hajime looks relieved, he doesn’t have to fight for it. Even though, we all know that he would. “Can you, can I — can you let me hold you, please?” Oh. Yeah. You think. It still doesn’t occur to you that Hajime caught onto the way you shorten every hug, halt every kiss before it gets too deep, shake your hand away from his grasp. Physical touch makes you feel queasy, and it is oh so unpleasant. The direct linkage of physical touch to sex makes you uncomfortable, feeling like each touch has to be accompanied by sexual intimacy. Why does it have to be like that?

Once the distance between you decreases he quickly pulls you close, wraps his arms around your torso tightly. Afraid of losing you.

“D-don’t pull away just yet, okay?” You stay, without saying a word. Hajime doesn’t say much either, it doesn’t take long for your breathing to sync with one another. It was peaceful, tranquil. His hand instinctively travels lower towards your waist, and just like clockwork, you pull away, resisting the strength of his arms. You should have known by now that Hajime can rage storms with his eyes but shut them down just as fast with the way his arms bring so much peace.

“Why?” He asks. This isn’t a normal look for Hajime, he looks like he is on the brink of tears. And you feel yours begin to pour. He doesn’t deserve this. You don’t get to treat him like this. Poor boy just wants to show you what genuine touch feels like and you refuse to give him a chance. “Why can’t I touch you? Why can’t I hold you?” He feels so bad. Hajime tries to rethink about all the things he might have done that led you to feeling unbearable being held by him.

Resolve crumbling at your feet. Physical touch is his way of expressing his love, it’s always something that has always bring him comfort, stability, it has grounded him in many situations. He wants to feel close to you, but he has never felt so far away. It feels like a part of himself is always missing, hiding within you. This is cruel. This is isolating.

Without saying much you crouch to reach him, arms wrapping his shoulders, snuggling your head in his neck, situating in its rightful place. You two don’t share much words in this moment, not much is needed to be said anyway. The way he’s breaking down, longing so badly for the touch of his beloved, so much it hurts. The way his neurons fire, sending chills down his back and the way his skin heats up at the moment you make contact. You hold him and you don’t let go. You stay until you both are spent from the tears you shed. “I’ll hold you like this forever if I could, Haji, I’m sorry.” You believe that you finally get it now. Physical touch doesn’t have to feel evil, it can feel just like this. His hands find your torso again, timid, but he’s willing to try. he sighs into your touch, so relieved to be reconnected with the part of himself he once relinquished to you.

[thelovelylolly]

Moments On Pabu

Summary: You watch the sunset with Tech Warnings: reader is described as short and smaller than Tech Word Count: 780 Notes: season 3 has broken me and we're only 3 episodes in IM SCARED i have theories and im convincing myself tech is alive (because he is wdym hes dead?) i have so many thoughts its insane (also this may become a lil series idk)

Sunset was the best time on Pabu. Ever since you befriended Phee and she showed you Pabu, you made sure to watch the sunset every night. You made routines and plans around it. With the galaxy at war with itself almost constantly and your life being turbulent before coming to Pabu, the sunset gave you peace and a sense of stability. Things may change around you, but you will always have the sunset.

Phee introduced you to the Bad Batch when they first arrived on the island, and you instantly clicked with Tech. It was a silent connection, but when he smiled back at you, you knew you were going to like him.

He was more reserved compared to his brothers and sister, but he quickly opened up as time went on. You loved listening to him ramble about anything that piqued his interest. You two tended to gravitate to each other, naturally sitting next to each other at gatherings or finding each other around the island and walking together.

That led to you asking Tech if he'd like to join you to watch the sunset.

"Where would we watch it?" He asked in reply to your question. "The beaches and docks tend to be a bit crowded during that time, and I don't particularly enjoy those kinds of situations."

"Don't worry about it, I know a spot where it'll be just us," you quickly replied. "I don't mind if you don't want to go, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

He thought for a moment, then gave you a small smile. "I suggest we leave now so we don't miss it."

You smiled and took his hand in yours, leading him down the winding paths of the island. You had found the alcove one day when wondering the island, and no one else knew of it. Or at least, they didn't go there.

Tech's eyes widened a bit when you two arrived at the empty beach. The blue waves gently lapped at the shore, filling the alcove with the soft sound of waves crashing. The setting sun made the horizon a beautiful, bright orange while the rest of the sky was still a light blue. You led him closer to the water, showing the setting sun to your left.

"This is a beautiful beach," Tech commented before looking at you, "no one else has found it yet?"

You shook your head with a smile. "Not yet. I usually come here by myself when things get too much or to just watch the sunset. I don't bring anyone here. Well, except for you now."

You noticed how his cheeks turned pink before he looked away.

"I feel honored that I am the first person you brought down here," eh said softly.

Now you felt your cheeks heat up, a contrast to the cool sea breeze. You ignored it, instead taking your shoes off and placing them in the sand. You walked closer to the water, stopping when it just covered your feet. You turned and looked back at Tech, who was watching you.

"C'mon, it's just a little bit cold," you called with a smile.

He returned it and quickly followed your lead. He took his shoes off and joined you in the shallow water. The sun dipped lower and lower as the minutes ticked past. You two watched it from your spots in the water, letting the waves splash against your feet and onto your lower legs.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes and tilting your head back. The peace of sunset by the ocean always made you happy, and Tech made it so much better.

When you opened your eyes and looked back down, you caught Tech looking at you. You smiled, squinting a bit when the sun got in your eye.

"What is it?" You asked.

"I-it's nothing," he answered, "you just look very...peaceful. And happy."

"I am, but I think I'm really happy because you're here with me," you replied. You reached for his hand and gently took it in yours. "You wanna take a walk down the shore?"

He smiled, ignoring the way his cheeks continued to heat up. He intertwined his fingers with yours. "I would like that very much."

You led him down the shoreline, keeping your feet in the water. You two walked hand-in-hand as the sun continued to set. You glanced over at him and saw him bathed in the golden light from the setting sun. You felt butterflies in your stomach as you looked away, continuing down the shore.

You liked the quiet moments on Pabu, but you liked them more with Tech by your side.

[rynnthefangirl]

You've given me a sermon and I still think the same thing, you have no idea how a succession to the throne works, and again the responsibility for all the evils falls on Aegon and Viserys, and I will never see them as ornaments or call them usurpers, as you have done, for asking for their own.

It's not a question of me caring who Rhaenyra sleeps with or if she's married or not, but this is not the 21st century in its CONTEXT those children have no right to a throne, and it seems a little naive to me that you believe that Corlys, putting up with the horns the size of a castle that his son wore, would not assume/demand that Jace reign with the surname Velaryon.

The intentions of sending your brothers away when Joffrey and Rhaena are perfectly safe in the Vale I will always question, sorry, at best it's just stupidity, which is more than enough reason for me to believe that he would make a terrible king, even if he didn't have to be one in the first place.

Your image of Aegon and Viserys as two dead plants does not coincide with mine 🤷🏼‍♀️ and I still think the same. The responsibility of not starting a war of succession does not fall on them, but on their half-brothers, who are not required to maintain stability and think of others. Besides Aegon and Viserys being right with their claim would be guaranteeing a well-being that Jace could not, they were also intelligent and capable, they would not have such stupid ideas as giving dragons to strangers.

For your information, Aegon and Viserys are my favorite characters, ahead of their parents, and part of the reason why I support Daemyra is because of the birth of these boys who are the best thing that happened to the dynasty after years of shit. Again, the colloquium about monarchies and how bad they are was not necessary, contextualize! We are talking about a hypothetical scenario that takes place in a medieval fantasy, not our current reality, where I am not interested in what you think and you should not be interested in what I think.

Also you assume that a tremendous war would break out, and you give Aegon and Viserys the position of Aegon II in the dance.... are you serious? Particular way of liking their characters, Aegon II opposed a legitimate heir, Aegon and Viserys would oppose an illegitimate son of their mother who would not have to be in the line of succession, besides it is possible that they did not want to advocate for a war from the beginning and that they will try a peaceful approach, if Jace does not decide to step aside (knowing that he has no right to be in the line of succession, these are the rules of the game and they know it, Rhaenyra too, that's why they want to hide the sun with a finger and they do not advocate for the rights of bastards to inherit or be legitimized with their mother's surname, but they remain silent for two reasons, out of shame, because they are still people of their time, and because no one would accept a public admission that they are going to be ruled by a bastard, in addition to the fact that it would be treason) it is his responsibility, it is not comparable to the case of Rhaenyra and Aegon II, and yes dear, welcome to Westeros, it is a sexist society since you have told me something about passing the Targaryen through the maternal line counts less and blah blah blah, well yes, unfortunately that is how it is, the plot of Dorne, as you can understand...has so little to do with the rest of Westeros that I'm going to pretend I haven't read it. If a dance had not happened I see that for you Aegon and Viserys would be a random fourth and fifth son, and not the legitimate heirs to the iron throne, I suppose that those fourth and fifth sons also deal with the humiliation of an illegitimate son of your mother being ahead of you at the time of inheriting the crown.

I see them as resilient men, with determination, who think about the people but also about the good of their house, they literally tried to bring back the dragons because they knew how important they were for the Targaryen house despite their bad experiences with them, they were fair, they had a good heart but they knew how to be tough when required. To me, zero proactive characters don't seem interesting and in your eyes it's what they are, I almost have to be thankful that the dance happened, otherwise my favorite characters would have been lost in the annals of history as a random fourth and fifth son while Jace "Velaryon" keeps what belongs to them.

It is useless to make you understand the point, we simply have very different views of the matter, I blame those who keep what does not belong to them, you blame those who ask for theirs, and you like them for very different reasons than I do. We have reached the same old speech of calling me a racist in a hidden way for liking the distinctive features of the Targaryens (I do not deny it) the silver hair and the purple eyes because they give them a supernatural look that I love, but that wasn't the point, at this moment I already know that it is talking to a wall 🤷🏼‍♀️

And yes, legitimacy matters, thank you Daemon for marrying Rhaenyra and thus ensuring that your children had a safe existence in a medieval society where being a bastard is highly punished and stigmatized, with that alone you did more than the parents of the "Velaryon princes" for their success in life and so that they did not depend on the charity and silence of others, and yes, well, if it makes me a toxic Daemyra stan to prefer that they be together from the beginning, that Rhaenyra have legitimate children from the beginning that she doesn't have to lie about and that she is in a marriage that she wanted and in which she would be happy, I'm sorry (I say this for the other anon you received who can't stand the 4 fans of Aegon and Viserys who defend their place, but well, it's just that we can't stand that a brown-haired child is ahead of a silver-haired one, reductionism at its finest)

Goodbye, I have seen that we have irreconcilable positions.

You've given me a sermon and I still think the same thing

And you have replied with an even longer sermon, and I still think then same thing.

Your image of Aegon and Viserys as two dead plants does not coincide with mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

So not having ambition for the throne that they would risk starting a civil war for = dead plants?

Also you assume that a tremendous war would break out, and you give Aegon and Viserys the position of Aegon II in the dance.... are you serious?

Yeah, because every time anyone has usurped the throne, it has caused war. So in an imaginary scenario where Aegon were to crown himself after Rhaenyra's death, that at the very least risks warfare breaking out. If not between him and Jace, then their children...

And yes, the person who crowns themself against the will of the previous monarch would be doing what the Greens did. I'm not comparing them to Aegon II though because Aegon and Viserys never did such a thing.

Besides it is possible that they did not want to advocate for a war from the beginning and that they will try a peaceful approach.

I would have zero issue whatsoever if they tried a peaceful approach. The hypothetical I am disagreeing against is a violent grab for power, which I would not support no matter how "rightful" they are.

Yes dear, welcome to Westeros, it is a sexist society since you have told me something about passing the Targaryen through the maternal line counts less and blah blah blah, well yes, unfortunately that is how it is

A- you don't have to be condescending. Don't call me "dear". And honestly, it is amazing to me that you are TB. Because everything you think it just re-packaged Team Green rhetoric. Including the idea that sexism isn't something we should support changing in Westerso because that's just "how it is".

The plot of Dorne, as you can understand...has so little to do with the rest of Westeros that I'm going to pretend I haven't read it.

You mean pointing out that there is already an example of how names will pass down the female line that the Iron Throne knows of and could emulate?

And not the legitimate heirs to the iron throne, I suppose that those fourth and fifth sons also deal with the humiliation of an illegitimate son of your mother being ahead of you at the time of inheriting the crown.

See the thing is, for people that love their family more than they love the concept of blood purity and legitimacy, then it isn't actually a humiliation for your older brother to ascend the throne.

To me, zero proactive characters don't seem interesting and in your eyes it's what they are.

There are other ways to be proactive other than just caring about the throne. The throne is not everything in life, it is not the all important thing that you are an empty meaningless character if you don't pursue it at all costs.

We have reached the same old speech of calling me a racist in a hidden way for liking the distinctive features of the Targaryens (I do not deny it)

It's calling you racist to point out that blood purity appears to be an important factor for you? Is it not an important factor? Did I misunderstand?

Goodbye, I have seen that we have irreconcilable positions.

Yes, goodbye and good riddance! Though I do highly recommend you check out Team Green! They have such wonderful ideas as:

-Aegon II is justified in usurping the throne because it is his birthright and the chosen heir of the previous ruler means nothing

-Male primogeniture and sexism is just how things are in Westeros, so that means 21st century viewers don't need to be at all against it

-Having bastards is the worst thing ever and bastards are inferior and we should 100% use that against them

I think you might find some stuff you like there!

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Dance of Wolf and Raven: Prologue

Hi guys, this is the new Romance serial novel I've started featuring our mother, Adelina!

There'll be new chapters every Friday on Patreon, that are already scheduled and primed to release using Patreon's scheduler thingy every Mountain Standard Time 4pm.

There's currently 11k words written to give me a head start, of which 2 chapters are released.

A lot of it came about due to the worldbuilding spree I went on last year, and since I didn't want any of it to go to waste nor include it in the main game cause of bloat or fatigue, thought this was a good idea to do it!

So without further ado, here's the prologue!

Dance of Wolf and Raven: Prologue

It is the winter of 599 A.L.

Almost 600 hundred years have passed since the Belthean people landed upon these shores.

600 years After Landfall.

600 years of blood and conquest.

Today, just weeks before the turning of a new century, the continent of Nareth is unified by way of the spear.

And her father is to blame.

"Princess?" A familiar voice whispers worriedly.

Adelina, youngest princess of the Belthean Empire turns to her lady-in-waiting, Lady Valerie. She waits for her to continue.

Lady Valerie fidgets, her eyes looking everywhere within the carriage except the princess, who offers the nervous girl a hand on her knee. "Speak Valerie, there's no one else in here but us two."

The words and gesture seems to calm her down, though she still gulps before asking, "Was the empress able to…?"

Princess Adelina rolls her eyes as she crumbles back into her seat, a heavy and long sigh escaping her lips. She slumps further and further into her seat before Lady Valerie giggles and helps her sit straight again. But the worried look remains on her face.

Hesitantly, she places her hand upon that of the princess's. Gripping softly, she whispers, "Wrinkling the dress would only serve to anger your father, my lady," she says this sadly, her expression that of defeat.

And defeat it may have well been.

Her mother had tried protesting her daughter's marriage to the Butcher's son, both in public and in private. But her father wanted this alliance badly enough that her mother was ignored and overruled.

Thus, she was betrothed to the prince of a kingdom who had betrayed their allies and sided with her father in his invasion of the western territories.

If that wasn't bad enough, the father of the prince she was to marry had become infamous for massacring entire noble families in a single bloody night. He was known as a cold and emotionless man, ruthless in his decision making. And she was to marry that man's son.

Princess Adelina grips her dress in anger, causing Lady Valerie who notices to bring her close for an embrace.

Again, the princess stifles a sob, refusing to let tears come out. She made a promise to herself that she wouldn't cry.

She had been alone for too long. Abandoned by even her dear brothers who'd always protected her in the imperial palace.

Her eldest brother, Gareth, had fought alongside her betrothed in the war against Lymark, and she had waited for any letter of his to reassure her. Or perhaps express his support in canceling this arranged marriage.

Anything.

But none had arrived.

She didn't know what to make of it, even Daerin her second eldest brother hadn't been able to communicate with her. No one had.

Alone in the capital she had waited.

Her brothers off to wage the war started by her father, later followed by her mother once rumors of a marriage were being whispered at court.

Those shrews for sisters had already married before the invasion to stabilize the empire.

It wasn't long after that she was ordered to ready herself for marriage, but not with a high lord from the empire, or someone she at least liked or knew how to handle.

But with a foreign prince from a kingdom that had betrayed its ally.

She was to be an offering of peace sent by her father, like something that could be given.

Like an object.

The iron inside her heats again.

She straightens herself, gently pushing Lady Valerie off her. She nods thanks to her lady-in-waiting.

'That's right…' she thinks to herself. 'That man pretends I don't exist until he needs a daughter to marry off.'

Her eyes narrow as she focuses on controlling the growing storm within her.

Her mind is set.

The emperor of the greatest nation ever forged, calling for the forgotten and unwanted princess to arrange her marriage without an honor guard. Without scores of retainers. With only one lady-in-waiting, who volunteered.

Only a temporary escort was given.

A single carriage, with a single cart loaded with whatever she could fit inside it.

Lady Valerie had tried defending her father when the journey started.

"Who would dare?" She said.

The princess knew deep within that it made sense. That the lands were now pacified, now moreso than in any other time period.

Who would dare face against the emperor of all Nareth? The king of kings, the Goddess' representative on the mortal plane, and most important of all… the wielder of one of two most powerful weapons in all creation, A'luthean Armor. Handed down throughout the generations by her family, it has impacted the world in numerous ways.

Depending on who is asked, it is either a curse or blessing that only a single member of the imperial bloodline could possess that artifact at a time, as it bonds with that person for life. No other, even with the Ravenea bloodline running through their veins, can use the holy relic crafted by the Goddess Herself for Her Champions during the A'lethic Era.

Her ancestor, Garland the Conqueror, founded the Belthean Empire with it.

Her great-great-grandfather, Emperor Saldwin, used it to bring a nation to its knees, and forced another to become "Imperial Friend and Ally".

These and other such acts forced the Archpriestess to ban the use of such relics in wars, or to proclaim excommunication upon those who broke the decree.

'But how could the Archpriestess force an imperial dynasty to not use its most powerful weapon?' was a question she had asked her tutors when learning of this proclamation.

Excommunication meant losing the accounts, support, legitimacy, and administration provided by the church, but was it enough to stop her family from imposing its will?

She knew it wasn't.

Princess Adelina feels her mind racing once more as she pictures executing her plan, and a small smile sneaks its way across her face.

"Valerie," she rests her left elbow the side of the carriage as she gets her lady-in-waiting's attention, "what can you tell me about the kingdom, or more specifically, my husband-to-be?"

Lady Valerie smiles at the informal use of her name, though she quickly regains her professional demeanor, "Why, you should kno-"

The princess cuts her off, "I'm only refreshing what I know, don't worry," she responds quickly waving a hand dismissively, "Please, think of it as an exercise or an escape from the daily boredom."

Her counterpart rubs her thighs as she knew all too well how uncomfortable it was to travel via carriage for so long a distance.

"Okay…" she replies, a bit absentmindedly as she begins to recount all that she'd learned over the journey to aid the princess.

With smile still in place, the princess innocently presses on, "What's so special about my betrothed?"

Lady Valerie, either ignoring or not catching the tone, answers immediately, "Why, that'd be either his eyes and hair, his status as the future king of Argent, or the fact he belongs to the only other A'luthean bloodline in Nareth."

Princess Adelina excitedly claps her hands, only to lean forward towards her friend, "And what exactly does that mean?"

A knot of worry forms on Lady Valerie's eyebrows as she carefully answers, "… it means he will be given his family's complete set of Blessed Armor, given to their line by the Goddess Herself, the A'luthean Armor of Argent?"

The princess laughs at her friend's textbook answer, "Oh Val! How long did you practice memorizing all that?"

Lady Valerie however saw the change in the princess' face when she gave her answer. "Lina… what exactly are you planning?"

Princess Adelina slowly sits back into her seat, making herself comfortable. "Nothing… just happy to hear my match is of such a Blessed bloodline!"

The smile on her face however, doesn't reach her eyes.

'The Archpriestess could only stop the imperial family from using their A'luthean Armor with the threat of another,' she thinks to herself as she leans back on her seat, her head on the puffed headrest. 'The other belonging to a royal family on the other side of the continent, in the Kingdom of Argent.'

She was to be the wife and queen of the one who would inherit such power, power enough to equal her father.

Princess Adelina was to become Queen Adelina. Here in this foreign kingdom she would be treated with respect. She would ensure it. Never again will she have to be under her father's control, never again will she be discarded and used in the negotiations of men.

And all she had to do was seduce her soon-to-be husband.

The plan going forward is this. For the sfw thread, at the end of the month ill be posting the Patreon version of the revised demo.

The NSFW KaE Thread will receive the Silverhill Martial Route four weeks after the Patreons receive it.

No deadlines will be publicly given.

I'll be posting and releasing more things as time goes on, thank you!

[ourfatherwhoartinhell]

Bad day snuggle fic with Primo? He deserves to be spoiled so so so badly

Primo x reader (platonic) fluff

Word count: 1395

A/N: I hope this is kind of what you were looking for? I am so sorry it took so long to get to! Enjoy!!

Fic requests are OPEN ✅

...

Today was not going his way. From the moment he woke up, Primo had been facing anything and everything going wrong. He went to brush his teeth? No toothpaste left. Went to take a shower? The ghouls had used up all the hot water. 

He woke up late for the first time in 100 years and he was beginning to wish he never woke up at all.

With a grumble he walked out to the gardens, hoping to find some peace amongst his flowery friends. He hadn’t finished up the work he wanted to get done yesterday. Thinking the sunshine would fix everything, he took a deep breath as he put one foot in front of the other and stepped out into the fresh air. 

Peering out across the yard, it looked like he would be left to his own devices for the most part. It wasn’t that he was a grumpy fellow, but today was trying his unholy amount of patience. He didn’t want to make any of the Siblings upset with his grumpy attitude, and almost tripping over his robes as he went down the steps was not helping.

“Saint Lucifer…”

He walked slowly over to his flower patch, and began tending to his leafy companions. The beautiful hues of blue, purple, pink and white shining brightly under the midday sun as he worked. Some would say that the plants and flowers perked up at his presence. Bending their stems all right ways to help him prune easier, glowing as he gave them soft words of encouragement to grow strong and healthy.

Primo loved working in the garden, it was warm and comforting. It brought him immense joy and happiness. However today it seemed a lot more like work than usual. The arthritis in his hands and fingers making it quite painful to close the scissors and pluck weeds around the stems and hold the watering can.

With a pained groan, the scissors fell out of his hands and onto the ground. The Rhododendron he was working on almost resting its leaves over his arm in comfort.

“You’re right little ‘dendron, maybe that’s enough for today.”

You were walking through the garden when you heard Primo’s frustrated sigh, quickly making your way over to find him sitting on the ground.

“Papa! What are you doing on the ground?”

He looked up at you and tried to give a small smile, but you could tell it was quite pained. “I’m fine my dear. Just… resting.”

You noticed how he clutched and rubbed at his knuckles and hands with a look of discomfort. With a small roll of your eyes you bent down to help the ancient one to his feet. He wobbled and grasped your arm for stability as his vision faded and quickly returned, an unfortunate side effect of standing too quickly.

“Thank you, amore. I do think I need some rest, would you care to help me to the gazebo?”

“Of course, Papa.”

The two of you slowly walked arm in arm. Headed towards a large gothic gazebo that stood in the middle of the elegant garden, you made a point to hold up Primo’s robes to avoid another tripping hazard. The gazebo had 2 steps up to a round platform, two plush chairs sat on either side with a comfy couch with pillows decorating the centre.

“You need to take better care of yourself, Primo. What’s happened today, you aren’t yourself.”

Helping him up the couple steps, you two plopped down onto the very comfortable couch sharing a tired huff and a chuckle.

“The dark one is testing me today, Cuore mio. I wake up unfashionably late and look what happens.” He holds out his shaking hands, attempting to bend his fingers. They only get so far before he hisses in discomfort. “I barely got to tend to 4 of my flowers this afternoon.”

With a sad smile you take his hands in yours, massaging his pained joints in hope to bring him some comfort.

“The world will not end if you take a day off, you know. You probably needed the rest, you work yourself too hard, Papa.”

Primo let out a small chuckle, gently patting your head. “I would not care to find out if that’s true, but perhaps today you are right.”

You leaned in closer, resting your head on his shoulder while Primo wrapped his arms around you. He was genuinely enjoying the company as he brushed the last of the garden dirt and grass off of his robes. Since you picked him up off the ground, things have started going right. In your embrace his mind finally went quiet. All the bad things that happened today faded away and his frustrations ceased.

He laid back against the back of the couch, grabbing a pillow as he guided you to lay in his lap. You both sat together in silence, taking in the sound of birds chirping in the trees and the wind whistling through the branches. It was exactly what he needed, but would never admit.

“Are you comfortable? Do you need anything? Excuse my manners, I never asked about your day.”

“You don’t need to ask about my day, today is about you,” you tutted.

“Oh I am fine. I am always fine.”

“Yes but sometimes it's nice to have people look after you, yes?” You looked up at his softened expression.

“Of course.” He said, running a hand through your hair gently, leaving a small tender kiss on your forehead. “Thank you for taking such good care of me. My bad mood has been lifted, and my day brightened. Grazie mille.”

“Oh, Primo! I almost forgot!” You carefully jumped up from his lap to kneel next to the basket you brought out to the gardens. Rummaging through the goods inside, you pulled out some freshly baked muffins and scones, some cream and a bottle of pressed juice from the kitchens.

“I was coming out here for a little picnic, but I found you instead and you’re not allowed to let me enjoy these goodies alone!”

You pulled the glass coffee table closer and laid out the food and glasses on it. Pouring a glass for Primo and then yourself. You delighted in the opportunity to spoil him since he often got forgotten within the Ministry. 

Primo mainly got friendly “Hello’s!” as he passed Siblings and Clergymen in the hallways, but nothing more. In his retirement he no longer had much of a role to play, but you loved all the conversations you had with the older Papa. He was full of interesting fun facts and stories, you made it your life's mission to hear everything he was willing to share.

Spreading the cream on a scone, you placed it on a plate with a muffin and some grapes and handed it to him with a smile.

“I can get my own plate, amore. I am fine.” He returned the same smile.

“I know,” You shrugged. “I was putting one together for me anyway.” 

Returning to your place beside him on the couch and trying the muffin, you noticed him struggling to grab a grape off the stem.

“Oh Papa, Mi dispiace. I forgot.” You grabbed the entire thing off his plate and picked off each grape, discarding the stem. You even put them into a separate small bowl so they wouldn’t run away.

“Thank you very much, Amore. My arthritis is quite bad today, si? We must be getting some rain.”

“At least the plants and flowers will be happy! It’s been a bit dry lately.”

Primo nods as he takes a bite of the scone and hums in delight.

“Did you bring my favourite buttermilk raspberry scones just because you like me, or were you hoping for another story?” 

Your face flushed slightly embarrassed and looked at him with hopeful eyes. “If you had another story I wouldn’t be opposed to hearing it.”

“For you, I will tell all my stories… so one day you can tell them when I am gone.”

It was mid afternoon when he began. The sun began to set as the story came to an end, the juice now empty and the plates carrying the crumbly remains of muffins and scones. Your mind once again alive as you followed along in another of Primo’s many exciting adventures.

[faerise-fae]

Not really a marauders character but: Tom Riddle #20!

YAPPING WARNING ABOUT ASPD TOM RIDDLE AGAIN

Ok so sorry for taking so long to do this, but my brain crashes every time i try to think about something that isn't obvious or just fucking boring. BUT I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YALL SO GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS

The hill I'll die on is that he is an ASPD baddie, tho I bet he would prefer thinking about himself as sociopath, as edgy teens do. It doesn't mean I think he is totally emotionless, i think he is very emotional. Just not empathetic? This man is purely driven by his emotions from the start. Be it fear of death, resentment, and hatred towards Dumbledore or just general anger directed at the stupidity of the wizarding nation. In ASPD it's just that the intensity of expression of those emotions is different. He can look totally put together and like an oasis of peace, but inside planning whatever insanities only he can think of.

Because the thing is, anger issues are not rare in ASPD. ASPD is associated with impulsiveness and violent or risky behaviours, which can result in lashing out in anger. It's just that when you don't have many emotions to begin with, controlling the stronger ones can be difficult.

People have very different headcanons about him in that matter, i see a lot of totally stoic, calculating tom riddle who doesn't have absolutely any emotions and stuff like this, but I really can't see it. My man is a dramatic, cruel, entitled and IMPULSIVE edgelord BUT:

HOT TAKE #1:

Canon Tom Riddle headcanonned himself as fanon Tom Riddle.

He might have thought of himself as emotionless, but he just didn't acknowledge it. Growing up in an unstable environment, he hadn't learned how to stabilize himself.

Because ASPD is partialy caused by genetics, yes. But a very big factor in developing it is childhood and home life. We can agree his was very unstable, he has probably witnessed violence and definitely experienced emotional neglect. ASPD is all about lack of security. Its defence mechanism. That means:

My man just doesn't know how to cope, LMAO. When it was too much even for him to stuff into the back of his brain, he just lashed out. Acting on impulses was his relief from it. Adrenaline from it also helped to mute his feelings.

But at the same time, he just didn't think of himself as unreasonable. "It was never his fault, he was just provoked!" He also didn't feel guilty about causing harm to others because he didn't have any empathetic feelings towards anyone. How can you feel bad about idk, cursing someone if you don't see them as an individual with feelings of their own. Because how could he think about their feelings when he didn't have much of his own to compare and to even comprehend what they feel beside some very shallow understanding. AND BY THAT I DONT MEAN HE DIDNT KNOW HE WAS HURTING PEOPLE AROUND HIM HE WASNT A POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW. HE KNEW, HE JUST DIDNT GET IT SO HE DIDNT CARE. But he obviously knew. So no empathy but more like an educated guess. Masking king. He learnt how emotions worked for other people and used it whenever he saw fit. Pure manipulation.

Because again neglectful caregiving = problems with attachment to people and forming relationships. In the end it's all about him in that aspect. His feelings are always about himself and making himself feel comfortable and stable. He was fond of his friends till they were useful and till he felt good with having them around. He took pride* in gaining their respect and loyalty. He was using them to stroke his ego basically. And was using them in general. For stuff and things.

*HOT TAKE #2:

And here i have my latest hot take: his similarity with Harry in that matter. Harry is a gryffindor with some slytherin traits. And imo Tom, with him being the most slytherin to ever slytherin, his crazy pride and impulsivity is so gryffindor.

So there's that beside how we can all agree he was a liar and manipulator.

[possiblycringe]

Ordered Callie loredump

(Sorry to ppl asking about other aus, I will get to you soon)

Callie and Marie were lucky enough to be in alterna when Order took over inkopolis square. The zoned-out inkopolis residents had suddenly changed, now wearing masks and donning grey, metallic skin, and they turned inkopolis square into a place of order. In short, Eight did not succeed and Order takes over inkopolis, with the goal to take over the rest of the splatoon world. Marie and Callie and the Agent 3s are able to become part of a resistance, though they mourn agent 4 and 8. They work to find any sort of way to cut off Orders influence, but nothing has worked yet. And it seems whatever was done to these 'orderlings', or parallel canon, is extremely difficult to undo. It's under these circumstances that Marie brings up the idea that after everything is over, she'd like to move into her own place to finally get some peace and quiet from all these world ending disasters. Callie, internally breaking a bit at the thought, plasters on a smile and says she's okay with it. She is, after all. No way she's going to hold Marie back. She still feels a little guilty for forcing Marie to take care of her so many times with those hypnoshades. Yet with all this, a small part of Callie starts to yearn for things to not change between them. For stability. For Order.

And so, as is what happens, she wakes up in the Spire of Order. The first step of being transformed into a part of Parallel Canon.

Of course, Callie isn't going to take this lying down, even if this is a point of no return, and a few more dreams later she'll be in line. Callie stays awake for the next few days to try and keep herself from turning, even thought she knows its inevitable. This lack of sleep, as well as trying and failing to let a busy Marie know what's going on, puts her in a bad mood, and she gets into an argument with Marie, finally letting it spill how she feels about the idea of Marie leaving, halfway through which she passes out.

Marie isn't hurt by the argument when she sees how sleep-deprived Callie is, and helps take her to her bed. She can talk with Callie about it in the morning. Except the next morning Callie has disappeared. Marie realizes what must have happened around this point, and rushes to inkopolis square, sneaking around, only to find that Callie has indeed become a part of Parallel Canon. This is where she pulls the mask off, despite Callie's clear distress.

After that, Marie has to take this brainwashed Callie back with her without Callie getting them captured. This is more difficult then getting there in the first place. They have to go on foot, and Marie hopes that when they get there, they can find some way to bring Callie back to her old, dynamic self. While this Callie acts like Callie typically does, that's the problem. She acts like Callie on autopilot, cheerful and a bit clueless at times, never scared or worried or serious, lacking any ability to grow or adapt to the situation. And, of course, she doesn't want to go back to her old self. She isn't worried about it anymore, though, not when everything is so clear now. She knows that what happened to her will happen to everyone, eventually, and everything going to turn out just perfect, which is why she isn't that worried about Marie squidnapping her. She says this to Marie, even.

The only thing is, she's being put in situations where she DOES end up adapting and changing, and it's slowly eroding at that brainwashing bit by bit. The more this happens, the more agitated she becomes.

[4dkellysworld]

Signs of Progress

The below is the result of a conversation I had with ChatGPT which I edited a bit. I thought it was great and might be useful to some so wanted to share it here. These are some signs that you've made progress on this path (it expands on what Lester talks about). I think it paints a pretty good picture of what it looks like when one has progressed on this path and can be helpful to check in with yourself and your practices (although do this from a place of peace and freedom, not from ego!).

Detachment from Ego and Self-Identification

Dissolving of Personal Story: The story of “me” becomes less dominant in your thoughts. You stop identifying with past experiences, achievements, or failures, and see them as events that happened to the body-mind but not to your true self. The constant narrative of “who you are” loses its significance.

Decreased Ego Involvement: Ego-driven thoughts like “I need to prove myself” or “I must protect my image” become rare. You no longer feel the need to build an identity through actions, achievements, or relationships. When ego-driven desires arise, you notice them and let them pass without identifying with them.

Ongoing Release of Ego Concepts: You have let go of many ego-driven thoughts, beliefs, and past conditioning, recognizing them as not truly you. You can recognize when egoic thoughts or reactions arise, but instead of getting pulled into them, you watch them like passing clouds. As ego concepts arise, you continue to observe them without attachment, understanding that these are just passing mental phenomena rather than aspects of your true self. There’s a growing distance between these thoughts and your awareness, which makes it easier to remain non-identified. This ongoing process of recognizing and releasing these patterns helps you stay detached from the ego and reinforces your non-identification with it.

Not Labelling or Adding Meaning: You no longer define, label or attach significance, meaning, stories or judgments to life and its experiences—everything is seen as simply neutral. You perceive events and sensations without categorizing them as good or bad, right or wrong, this or that. This allows you to maintain a neutral and clear awareness, and engage with life directly and openly, free from the distortions of personal judgments and biases. By not attaching any meaning, you allow each moment to be experienced in its pure form.

Indifference and Non-Resistance

Emotional Detachment: You find yourself emotionally neutral, regardless of circumstances. Feelings may arise, but they pass through without sticking to you, without your involvement. This doesn’t mean apathy, but rather that you aren’t emotionally swayed by external events or your own thoughts. There’s an inner stability that isn’t disrupted by the ups and downs of life.

Consistent Indifference to Externals: You are consistently indifferent to the world’s events. This doesn’t mean you don’t care, but that the happenings of the external world don’t disturb your inner peace regardless of what happens. You watch them with detachment, knowing that they don’t define you.

Non-Resistance to Pain or Discomfort: Physical or emotional discomfort is less likely to throw you into resistance or avoidance. You recognize that pain is a passing experience, not something to be attached to or defined by, allowing you to experience it without adding suffering through mental resistance.

Presence and Flow

Living in the Now: You spend far less time in your mind thinking about the past or future. Being present in the moment becomes your default state. The mind quiets down, and you’re more present in the here and now, with fewer distractions pulling you away from the present. You find a natural ease in maintaining a calm, unobtrusive mental state.

Openness to Life’s Flow: You stop resisting life’s natural rhythm. There’s an acceptance that whatever happens is part of a greater unfolding. You trust the process, even when it doesn’t align with your preferences. You are open and allow whatever may happen, even when it brings discomfort, because you’re no longer attached to how things “should” be.

Effortlessness in Action: There’s a shift where actions become more effortless, as though life is flowing through you rather than you trying to push or force things to happen. You no longer feel the pressure of “making things happen” but instead act naturally in each moment as needed, without the stress of outcome-based thinking.

Fresh Innocence and Curiosity: You approach life with a child-like sense of curiosity, exploring experiences with wonder and without preconceived judgments. You see life with a sense of innocence and an open and fresh perspective, allowing experiences to unfold without attaching meaning or being affected by past beliefs, feelings or experiences. This allows you to experience each moment as it is—fresh and unfiltered. You engage with the world playfully and openly, treating each moment as a fresh discovery rather than through the lens of past conditioning.

Freedom without Expectations

Freedom from Expectations: You let go of expectations, both from yourself and others. Instead of being driven by future outcomes or the desire for things to go a certain way, you’re more focused on simply being and allowing life to unfold. "Your" actions are more about allowing the flow of life to happen as it does rather than controlling or predicting it.

A Growing Sense of Freedom: There’s an expanding sense of freedom, not tied to circumstances, but coming from the inner realization that you are not bound by the mind, ego, or external world. This freedom is quiet but profound, where life’s pressures and demands lose their hold over you.

Acceptance of Impermanence: You come to deeply understand that everything in the external world is transient. Rather than clinging to experiences, objects, or people, you accept that everything is in constant change. You stop resisting this fact, which results in less struggle and more inner peace.

Joy and Connection

Spontaneous Joy or Contentment: As identification decreases, you might notice a natural sense of joy, peace, or contentment arising, not because of any external reason, but simply because you’re no longer entangled with ego. This joy is subtle and doesn’t depend on outer conditions; it’s a result of being at ease with what is.

Deeper Connection to Others and Nature: As ego identification fades, you may feel a deeper sense of connection to others, not from needing validation, but from genuine compassion and empathy. You might also feel more connected to nature as the boundaries between "you" and the world soften.

Synchronicity and Harmony

Synchronicity and Flow: As you detach from controlling life and the mind, you may notice an increase in synchronicities—meaningful coincidences that feel as though life is guiding you. Life unfolds in a way that feels more harmonious, and things “just happen” without you trying to force them.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.183 Clarity

Desi reminds me so much of Less when she was a little girl. She was so full of energy and ran literally everywhere she went. I don't think she started walking until we got to high school. She always found something to get into, and Desi is the same way. She loves playing with the dogs, and they love it too, especially Rosie who constantly needs to play. Sometimes I think they might get tired of the tiny sim who is always imitating them and trying to speak to them in their language, but they sit there and let her do it, and it's so adorable.

Just as Desi is growing, me and Sophia are too, because this parenting journey does not follow a straight line. Its path is ever winding. Sometimes, it cuts across deep rivers, and I feel like I'm drowning. Most of the time, it stretches across little mountain ranges. I climb one mountain, get to the top, and celebrate my victory, only to look across and see the road scaling up an even bigger mountain. As soon as we learn to handle one situation, a new one crops up and we're back at the beginning. I keep telling Sophia, we're not bad parents; we're just learning. She still has these weird moments of insecurity, and I know it stems from her childhood. Despite how they treated her, Sophia's parents weren't necessarily bad. They never mistreated her and showed love in their own misguided way. When she was pregnant, we talked about how we would raise Desi. My childhood was better than hers, but it still left scars on me. In the end, we decided the best way to raise her is to be the parent we wanted. That's why I spend so much time with her. I want her to know I'm here and she is safe.

I don't think I've ever admitted this before, but I didn't always feel safe when we lived with Dad. My parents' separation and divorce was a very emotionally draining time on its own. Add to that Dad being too tired and depressed to do anything with us when he got home from work, and that made for a very anxious Luca. We didn't get the support we needed from him. That was the real reason I pushed so hard to live with Mama. She always made everything better when we lived with her on the weekends, so we moved back home. But then she drops this bomb on us that sent me back into a whirlwind of uncertainty. She destroyed my sanctuary, and it took nearly the rest of my life to find peace and stability. I want Desiree to know of nothing else.

Sophia's wish for her was similar, but she's so hesitant to execute sometimes because she's so inside her head, wondering if she's doing enough, if it's right, and how Desi perceives her. Analysis paralysis, they call it. I try to encourage her as much as I can, but I know this is something she needs to figure out on her own, so I mostly leave her alone. When I see her figuring things out, I want to celebrate it and say a more supportive and happy version of "I told you so," but if I call attention to it, that will make her self-conscious, so I just smile.

Desi is such an affectionate child. She's constantly reaching her little arms up at Sophia, asking for a hug, and I love that for them. I know it makes Sophia feel good and dispels all the negative self-talk she has going on in her head. At least that's how I keep myself from getting jealous, anyway. Sophia gets the hugs, and I get air kisses. Receiving the love you've given is such a rewarding experience.

Last week, when Sophia pointed out I needed to do a better job of prioritizing our marriage, I felt like I hit a wall. I spend all this time with Desi, feeding her, teaching her, soothing her, and all the things I'm supposed to do as a good father, and it still turns out bad. The answer to that situation is balance, of course, and in the grand scheme of things, that was a small mountain. I'm getting better at it, but I'm still working out the kinks.

What makes it tricky is the fact that Desiree is very social and the only child. Real talk? She needs a sibling. That is the cold, hard facts. But Sophia and I already had that conversation, so as much as I'd like to help her with that, it's not happening. For the moment, we are both her parents and her friends. I try to encourage her to play on her own because it's good for her development and imagination—and great opportunities for the adults to talk—but like I said, she's social. She loves hanging out with us, and I do too, but I'm beginning to see now how it's not necessarily the best thing for her. Not only does she want to be around us, but also she wants to dominate the conversation. She'll interrupt an ongoing conversation but get mad that we're not paying attention to her. Sometimes she yells "I'm talking" as if we're the ones interrupting her.

I tell her we're talking and it isn't nice to interrupt, but I totally get where she's coming from. It's in her nature to socialize, but doesn't have anyone her own age to talk to. That's why I REALLY need to get on this house search so she can be closer to her cousins. I'd love for her and Tami to be friends, but she's about to have her birthday. Enrolling Desi in pre-school would also help, but I don't think I'm ready to be away from my child for that long just yet. For now, I just need to get this family closer.

[aurasoulhikari]

Zexal Month Week 2 Day 5: C is for Chaos

@zexalmonth Did I use this day to make the Barian Lore we never got from the show? Yes. Am I sorry? Hell no!

"Yuma don't touch the water!"

"Huh? Why?" Nasch or Shark, depending who's asking, sighed at Yuma who stood near a lake on Barian World and asked himself how he got himself in this situation.

'Oh yeah because no doesn't belong in his vocabulary.' Shark thought with a deadpanned expression. After the battle against Don Thousand and establishing peace between Astral World and Barian World with Yuma’s and Astral's help along with stabilizing the planet with the Numeron Code courtesy of Astral, Yuma had begged Shark to let him see Barian World now that the planet was decently safe for its citizens and outsiders. Shark had been unsure in bringing Yuma to his planet due to things he experienced there but Yuma assured him that compared to the time he went to Astral World it had been a walk in the park. (Shark didn't believe him for a second though given he saw Yuma's memories thanks to the resonance of his Baria Lapis and Yuma's Emperor's Key) So after much persuasion here he was acting as Yuma's guide to Barian World. And of course Yuma was driving him crazy.

"The waters are dangerous for Barians. It burns us. Who knows how bad it'll be for humans." He stated.

"But you and Astral helped fix things up with the Numeron Code, right?" Yuma asked. "So I'm sure it's fine."

"You’re too optimistic and a hazard to your health." Shark snapped. But he stayed close to Yuma as he kneeled down next to the water. Yuma carefully reached just barely touching the water surface and moved back.

"Well?" Shark asked.

"No burning but it is warm." Yuma admitted. "Come on, give it a try!"

Shark looked at the water suspiciously for a moment but then sighed. He did worked with Astral to make this place more safe for his people. Might as well test things out now then later. He reached and carefully touched the water just as Yuma said there was no burning but a warm sensation. He cupped the water for some to fill in the palm of his hand before letting it pour down his hand.

"Warm right?" Yuma grinned, making Shark glance at him and huff amused.

"Guess it is." He relented, moving his hand back. He waved his hands over the water letting his Chaos flow making it glow much to Yuma's awe.

"That was your Chaos, right?" Yuma asked.

"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure there was nothing dangerous in the water." Shark stated. Yuma looked at his best friend and a thought occurred to him.

"How does it all work for you guys?" Yuma asked. "I mean I get you guys aren’t entirely made out of energy like Astral so..."

"Well it's true we're not entirely made of energy like Astral beings but that doesn’t mean we don't need it either." Shark huffed, standing to which Yuma followed. "Barians have a Baria Crystal inside them that acts as our hearts in a way it’s also our Soul as well and keeps us alive with Chaos."

"But I thought you used your Baria Lapis to use Chaos." Yuma said, confused.

"It acts as more of a medium for us especially when we're in places that don't have chaos in the environment like on Earth." Shark explained. "The Lapis helps us control and refine our Chaos in use instead of just letting out a blast of it."

"Oh that would be bad." Yuma sweatdropped. "So then what about your bodies in general? It's not made of well flesh like me or energy like Astral."

Shark hummed and held out his hand to Yuma. He was confused that much Shark knew yet Yuma took his hand and grew wide eyed by the rough sturdy feeling.

"We're not made from organic matter but made and as hard as stone on the outside even our attire is a part of us and if we're damaged we can use our Chaos energy to reform our bodies hence why we have to stock up on Chaos energy inside us." Shark explained to an awed Yuma. "We also have veins but we refer to them as Chaos vessels that are attached to the Baria Crystal heart inside us and connect within our entire body. That's what allows us to move and such."

"But... Then how do you feel pain and stuff?" Yuma asked.

"You can think of our Chaos as a sensor with our Baria Lapis along with the smaller gems on our bodies." Shark replied, pointing at the one on his forehead. "And when connecting with someone close we would press our gems together to share our emotions, our memories, our very beings to one another. It's... The most open we can be."

Yuma looked awed looking at Shark as if staring at him for the first time and Shark had to admit it made him twitch but then Yuma paled as if something came to him.

"What?" Shark questioned.

"Ah.... Th-Then if the crystal that’s your heart...." Yuma began, as if afraid to ask. "If the Baria Crystal inside you shatters then.... Does that mean you..."

"Yes we would die." Shark confirmed with a solemn nod, making Yuma choke shaking. "But that's all the more reason why our bodies are what they are so that they won’t shatter."

That seemed to relieve Yuma a bit, sighing softly in relief to which Shark huffed fondly by Yuma's worry for his well-being per usual. He then patted Yuma's back, making the human yelp in surprise.

"Come on, that's enough exploring we should head back to the palace." He replied. "You said you wanted to meet Iris, right?"

Instantly Yuma brightened at the mention of the little Barian girl who was practically his best friend's daughter.

"Yeah! Do you think she'll be ok though? I mean she hasn’t exactly seen a human ever since she got here and plus I'm sure she's shy with strangers like Haruto was and."

Shark allowed Yuma to ramble, chuckling to himself his people were already made aware of this bright, hyperactive, and brave human who was close to their king and were just as curious about him as he was to them. And truly Shark couldn’t wait to introduce Yuma to the people he cared about as much as him.

[tanis-fics]

Intermission

When Ash Jr. is trapped in a building shift incident and begins to freak out about his imminent death, the person who aids him is the least one he expects. The least helpful, too, but at the end of the day, Ash could really use a break. (A musical break, even)

Pairings: Theodore Ash Jr. & Ahti, Theodore Ash Jr. & Ahti & Oldest House ♦ Words: 1117 ♦ Notes: For the @februaryficletchallenge, prompt Trapped In An Elevator

[on ao3] ♦ [on squidgeworld] ♦ [read on site]

 When Dr. Theodore Ash Jr. first felt the elevator shake under his feet, and then stop menacingly, he immediately assumed he was going to die. Of course he was going to die after making the discovery of a lifetime, the cruel irony of it almost made him crack a smile; the fact that he could at least see the twisted beauty of the Oldest House in all its glory unlike his father before him almost brought him peace of mind, in those grim final moments.

 He took it in stride at first. Face it proudly like the bearer of his name should.

 Seeing the concrete surrounding him ad infinitum outside his fancy metal cage ever so slowly closing in, however, eventually panic began dawning on him.

 He couldn't die. Not now, of all times. He still had so many things to research, so many caves down in the Foundation to find and study. His friends, the Id, he couldn't just leave them all alone while the rest of his team (or, God forbid, Director Northmoor) probed the place without a care in the world.

 Breath began coming shallow as death started breathing on his neck. Trapped like an animal. No. Trapped like so many members of the Bureau by the shifting chimera of the building. Ash had been researching the energy leylines from the pillar, coming up with ways to stabilize it's uneasy entrails to avoid these senseless deaths, but maybe he had been far too late.

 As his windpipe closed in panic, Ash would have wanted to say that he hoped someone else took his investigations and finished his work for the Bureau. But he was just a coward, and his mind screamed for someone, anyone, to realize where he was and came help him.

"...Yksin sankar yöhön syvemmälle matkaa pois,

Se taakka hänen harteillaan kuin lupaus aina ois,"

 Jerking his head up, Ash recognized that faint melody before recognizing the accompanying voice. He couldn't see anything past the concrete, but the song came from a point somewhere above him. Swallowing, his throat hurt horrors, but he still croaked.

 "J, Janitor, is that you?" He cursed at himself for not remembering his name, despite his appreciation to the mysterious man. The singing stopped, and he felt panic rising again. "Are you there? Can you hear me?"

 Silence followed his many questions, until he heard his voice again, closer this time.

 "Doctor?" His thick accent brought a smile to his face, relief washing over him for a second. "Were you running with your head as your third leg, and got stuck in the walls?"

 He had no idea what that meant.

 "More or less, I suppose." He yelled back, voice breaking a bit at the end, and was met with a candid laugh. If it were anyone else, Ash would be enraged and humiliated, but the Fin's idiosyncrasies put his mind at ease, or as much as it could in that situation. The man had a surprisingly vast knowledge of the building, either inherent or learned, and if he could laugh in the jaws of danger maybe it wasn't as bad as he originally thought it was.

 Still, he was no God either.

 "Friend," he tried again, grabbing the metal curtain and facing the darkness from where the voice came from, "there was a shift in the building and I happened to get caught in the middle! I'll need you to call Security to get me out of here."

 "Yes, yes, do not worry, an emergency does not look like this. Ahti will make sure you get out of there, loose like a grandma's tooth." He sounded very sure of himself regardless of the wording, and Ash thanked him for that. Regardless, time started passing, with only the sound of the mop against the floor and the whistling of the man to fill it. Had... had he even called for help? He couldn't help but wonder, anxiously. Did he misjudge the strange man, misjudge Ahti? Or was he testing him? Could that be a test? "Eh. So nosy." The man called again, sounding... annoyed? Offended? "Don't wait as if waiting for the raising moon. You will not die. Not in an elevator, at least."

 Ash froze, but then sighed. Fine. If the Janitor said he wasn't going to die there, he couldn't possibly die there, he guessed, bittersweet.

 The walls stopped closing in, though.

 "That's right, perkele." He heard him say, proudly, yet probably to himself, before stating louder, in a way that seemed less and less like a suggestion. "Take a rest. It will do you good."

 Odd. What an odd fellow.

 Two peas in a pod, he supposed. The Janitor and the House.

 The Janitor and him, too.

 Resting his back on the opposite wall and sliding to the floor, Ash could swear he felt a rumbling on the elevator, and despite every logic and every alarm ringing on his mind he actually felt his fear slowly melting away, as his breath eventually slowed down too. The Fin's words ticked him, but he was tired, he couldn't remember the last time he took a break. The last time he allowed himself to take a break.

 Maybe he was safe. Call it good luck, or affinity, maybe the house wasn't going to swallow him alive. Not that day, at least.

 "Ahti." He called eventually.

 "Yes?"

 "Could I ask one thing of you, at least?" Since you're clearly not calling anyone.

 "What is it?"

 "Could you sing to me that song you're always singing to yourself?" He heard a surprised noise.

 "Sankarin Tango! You like it?"

 "As a matter of fact, I do!" And then, to himself, somewhat feeling like the compliment will reach his ears regardless. "I've always found it quite lovely, actually."

 "Ah..."

 Ahti sounded extremely pleased, speaking to himself in Finnish with an audible smile on his lips, and Ash couldn't help but smile too as the last traces of fear left his mind and body. As music filled the air around him his worry was replaced instead with the low rumbling that now enveloped him, louder. Did it came from the elevator? From the Oldest House itself? Was it, and could even be a reaction, let alone a positive one? Was it a response to Ahti's singing? First drafts of theories rose and fell like his calmed down breathing, like the melody carried by the air, as he waited to be rescued. Or, as it eventually will come to happen, for the walls to open and for him to meet his janitor friend, standing alone on a recently cleaned room.

 For now, Theodore Ash Jr. simply sat there, enjoying the choir in peace.

[madmanrambler]

“So walk me through everything I missed. It seems like it was a lot.”

“What, Everything? It’s 85 bloody years, there’s a lot to cover. And me without a degree in history.”

“Alright then, summarize. I can research whatever you mention that seems particularly interesting.”

I shifted to better watch Corv as he spoke, listening through ears that still felt chilly from 85 years frozen. Corv, one of my rescuers, shifted in his own spot, his diminutive form finding a comfortable seat. He glanced at me before starting in to the history.

“Let’s see, you went under in the 2020s you said, right? So you at least have an idea that climate change was getting bad. That was most of the 30′s and 40′s, handling that in various ways. Mostly bad ways. Lotta border skirmishes, plenty of fighting and arguing about bits of this and that. Big cold war between Canada and China about shipping lanes that opened up in the Artic, which was a miserable bloody time.” this at least all made sense, and I was nodding along.

“in the 50s things came to a bit of a head. Most of the ice that was going to melt melted, and the weather patterns were stabilizing. the countries and people left were figuring out how to handle the Sahara being able to grow plants and the American Midwest becoming a desert. We got some peace makers out of South America, and you’ll probably find some interestin’ stuff about indonesia and how its government in exile set an example for island nations and how to handle the shift in tides. Always found some of that stuff fascinating, you can look up Melati Hon and her speeches on the new world, great stuff.” Corv seemed excited about that part, really animated and I could see his eyes gleaming. Really might be something worth reading, and seeing what I thought afterwards. He reluctantly plowed on. “the 60s people kinda lost their mind, great art from the period but a lot of folks were recovering from being kids during the greatest ecological disaster. The 70s there’s big move of standardizing everything, making sure that plugs fit all over the world and all the measuring equipment can measure the same. Parts of America still insist on using standard but that’s more a local custom then a nation-wide standard at this point. the 80′s had a lot of discussion about the moon base, I think there was a big scare around a country grabbing it for themselves and a space war or something erupting over that, it was agreed to be a joint venture with every nation able to send people up, averted a lot of problems. The 90s are close enough I can remember ‘em, and there’s a ton you could focus on but overall it’s all about how to handle us living with these new batteries we’ve got, the Phazolyte batteries.”  This wasn’t exactly what I wanted to focus on, but Corv seemed to think it was important so I nodded and tossed in what I knew. “They’re batteries that mix with water to charge right?”

He coughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, I guess that’d be the second grader explanation. They mix phazolyte with water, and phazolyte causes water to be willing to compress as much as you push it, something it doesn’t want to do at all normally. S’why jumping off a bridge into water is like hitting concrete, all the force rebounds back into your body. With Phazolyte we get to store as much energy as we can compress into the water, then you just remove the Phazolyte and the water uncompresses, pushes against something, makes the electricity. And the Phazolyte, once removed, is good to use again, doesn’t lose anything in the process. It’s dead useful, and the last 15 years has been plugging that into everything and getting the supply chain worked out.” Corv coughed again, and glanced around. “That should cover the basics. Sorry we don’t have flying cars or nothing like that, I know you folks were keen on that.”

I stared at Corv for a long while. “Corv, that’s great. I’m glad you covered all the uh. The battery stuff. But.” I hesitated, glancing from him to the window to the chair he was sitting in. “You uh. Skipped the part about you.” Corv shifted in his seat again, glancing away from me. “Well it really isn’t all that important, it’s just part of the world really. I’m a British citizen, we still say god save the queen, we keep playing football-” “That seems like it’d be a bit hard for you to play.” I interrupt, glancing at how small Corv was. “I mean, Corv, you didn’t mention a damn thing about when birds started talking.” Corv looked what I thought was askance. “Well you did ask me to summarize.” He reminded me as his beak preened his feathers. “If I summarize I gotta skip the things that are less important. That’s how summarizing history goes.”

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

l, i was wondering if u could give me some suggestions on an issue i am facing.. its been 6 months since me n ex broke up (on winter solstice nonetheless..) for very good reasons after 3 yrs, we really were doing some damage to each other for a while , triggering each others core wounds like Crazy. i reaally was in a bad place for the whole last yr of it and now really do feel so much better being out. however we lived together for yrs and they were who i was closest to for so long, n we were each others first love once before at 16/17. i felt just anger for months, but now its residing and i just feel soooo tied to them still… i do not want to get bacj w them, but so much of my time now is spent in deep nostalgia of the happy/quiet moments, wanting the good of those times back even tho logically i know its Impossible. wishing i could go back and do it again. wanting to reach out even tho i know it would only be detrimental. i was wondering if u have any tips on balancing this miss with continuing to move on, as i know i must finally do so fully — i feel the anger was keeping me moving forward, but now that its waning i fear getting stuck in this state. i feel as tho this is why we got back together to begin w. anyhow thank u as always fer ur infinite wisdoms x dog bless

hello <3 i understand... both of us had big endings at winter solstice lol what kind of assertive force was in the air back then i wonder ! here's my advice althoug it seems to me u already know what's right for you so it's sort of just reinforcement of your feelings ---

first thing i want to get out of the way is that if you and this person were meant to be together i believe the breakup never would/ve happened & there would've never been a single doubt in your mind about this partnership. I can say this after spending a few years living with slimbo, like, We endlessly grow closer, our bond is fully forged in stability and peace and understanding. There is not a single moment in the past few years of being in their presence that i've had a single doubt of our longevity. We do not make each other's life hell in even the slightest sense. if something comes up we work it out within that day and it never carries over to the next. And that rarely occurs.

Previously in life i did not know such harmony could exist, but now that i know, i look at all my old relationships like damn, i can't believe i ever thought that person could've been "the one" when we clashing so often. And i mean it's not like i could've known better because for most of us, we grow up in families that face much conflict, you just think Oh this is normal right? People fight and thats normal, there's tension and it's normal. Well now i know it is NOT normal and when you find someone who's really ready to meet you where you're at it creates harmony, true harmony, even if external conflict arises it brings you closer, you can solve any problem together, you're on the same level.

(Also i'm not sure how old you are but i think it's super rare to find this type of harmony until a little later in life because youth is confusing & people are still figuring themselves out, gaining the maturity it takes to be a reliable partner and whatnot).

But what i feel is happening for you and this person is that you went through all these formative experiences together, and maybe you're missing the rush of that more than you miss the actual person. Like maybe you're just bored xD that's not meant to sound harsh im just being real. boredom often leads to nostalgia. a little nostalgia here and there can be fun & transmuted into new experiences but being overly absorbed in nostalgia is not conducive to growth, only stagnation. do not fall victim to halo effect just because you're bored or lonely!!

If you were to get back with this person it would 1) block the way for someone who truly matches your frequency to come through, and 2) Likely your repressed anger and resentment towards that person would begin to infiltrate the relationship again pretty quickly. It's not fair to them, nor is it fair to yourself, it would only prolong the suffering.

So i think to move forward from this experience you could try a few things. Firstly i think you're being called to really go inwards, figure out why you feel bored right now, why you feel something is lacking in your life when you have to be alone? Learn how to fill your time with more things you enjoy, becoming stronger in your self concept through introspection, hobbies, leisure, just having fun by yourself. When you can do stuff like this it actually makes you very attractive & radiant in a way that magnetizes people who are also pretty solid in themselves. U just can't really have a good healthy relationship unless both of you are solid and Know Yourselves like thats just a universal truth.

And another thing i'd consider trying is like, meditations where you envision yourself cutting the chord that energetically binds you to this person from your past. That is if you want to get a little woowoo with it. But i really believe in the effectiveness of those exercises. Don't rush into it, just like, when you feel truly ready, let it go. You can still hold your memories and honor your experience with them without wanting them to be in your physicality again. There are exes who i haven't spoken to in yeeeears who i actually can look upon much more fondly now that i've let go. i forgive them and wish them well but it's nice to be distant.

don't be afraid of change~~~don't be afraid that a better match will never come along for you. I didn't foresee anything about the romance i have now before it happened. I knew i wanted to find a love that felt balanced and fulfilling but not All-Consuming. by a total random sequence of events, my vibe was met. You just never know whats around the corner ^^ The more open you are to change, the more change will find you. But you know going back to that person would just be a needless repeat of an old cycle. it's ok to still cherish them and keep moving forward. it's good you're able to feel less angry towards them now, that shows growth & maturity. But dont let it drag you back in !!

i hope this resonates and doesn't sound too preachy lol . Just hate to see someone fall back into Old HABITS. For your sake and the sake of your old partner. letting go is a crucial skill to learn in this life. Best of luck to you anon, you sound like a good person who wants to do their best & that will carry you far in life & love.

Sincerely

PMD9 <3

[reuna]

ive been wracking my brain over something. knowing full well Israel is responsible for genocide. knowing full well its system is an apartheid. knowing full well the reasons that have justified both the 1940s English zionist occupation, the First Intifada and so on. knowing full well if Israel were to end, its problems would stop existing.

Why do I still feel bad by accepting violent protest and defense against a physical risk of violence and of ethnic cleansing as a legitimate mean of changing things? why does part of me, alongside "polite society", still dare criticise Palestinians that chose to side with paramiritary political parties and organizations to protect themselves from harm? why do I still entertain the possibility that everything would have been "fine" had not Hamas attacked or something, as if a peace built on injustice was still a peace and not a strongly enforced status quo, where people would technically still be dying under, as Gaza was reduced to an actual concentration camp ever since?

i have made my choice by standing with Palestine against what's essentially a criminal post-colonial organization disguised as a legitimate government. but even then. how would we work after the dissolution of Israel. how would we integrate

Wow, hi. I honestly didn't remember I enabled asks at some point, this is the first one ever. Thank you. I dunno if I'm able to give a good answer tho, I'm just one person who's following this from afar, feeling powerless. I am in no way an authority on any of this, I am not Palestinian, and I strongly recommend following Palestinian users here on tumblr for an insight from people who are directly affected by this.

But I have been thinking about the thought processes you describe, and the many people who seem to really believe, that if Hamas hadn't attacked on October 7., everything would be fine. And I think a lot of it (for the non-zionists who aren't reveling in the slaughter israel is doing) has to do with just... the fear of change.

The status quo is what we know. It might be horrible and deadly, but it's familiar. There's a sense of safety in knowing how things are, and I think it's a very human impulse to just resist change. After all, for all you know the change could make everything worse. And I think the fear of change is more powerful the more privilege we have. People who aren't in the oppressed group rarely even see the oppression others are dealing with every day, and bringing it out and talking about it, feels like "rocking the boat". Everything was just okay before, wasn't it? Why make such a big deal of it? I personally don't suffer, so let it go.

On the topic of Palestine, however, I think there is also the fact that before October, people had lulled themselves into an illusion of stability. Something like "the Palestinians have accepted their fate and so, we should let it go" (and this was never the case, mind you, israel and its allies have just been very efficient in keeping things from us). This is of course exactly what israel wants: That the Palestinians just accept their fate under israeli oppression and stop resisting. And that's why the attack was such a shock for them. Realising that no, the people they had oppressed and tortured and raped and kidnapped and stolen from still didn't just submit to them. They dare resist and remind the people in the West that they still exist, they haven't been beaten into submission.

And this is, of course, what it will always be like, until the oppression stops.

I, personally, feel like the only really proper solution would be one Palestinian state, in which Palestinians and (former) Israelis would live on equal terms. I also believe this is entirely possible, based on the things I've read and heard about the time before the zionist project, and the experiences of people in, for example, South Africa, where the white people believed they would be attacked if apartheid was abolished... and they weren't. And before anyone who reads this tells me I'm talking Hamas propaganda or some shit like that: No, these thoughts come from Ilan Pappe (israeli), several Palestinians themselves, anti-zionist israelis and Jews across the world, and historical records.

I sincerely do believe liberty and equality are possible and worth fighting for. It is painful, for all parts involved, in different ways, but it's the only way to go if we want real safety. I think this is true for every society here on earth.

[lmskitty]

3, 7, 20, and 23!

3. favorite anime character

Sailor Neptune, Michiru is the epitome of beauty to me and even now her aesthetic is everything to me. I wanted to look like her SO bad I would plait my hair so it would be wavy when I woke up when I was 12. My first tattoo was her Neptune symbol.

7. anime you are currently watching

Me and my husband always watch an episode of anime with dinner and at the moment it's the second season of Laid Back Camp! If you like wholesome, informative animes I SUPER recommend it!

20. least favorite anime ships

Student/pupil. Seeing that Yuji and Gojo is like the biggest ship in Japan was a shock. Like if something is intended as a parental/mentor figure and then it's sexualised, I get its hot for different reasons but for me it's an instant squick. Also obviously incest. I noped out of Bungou Stray Dogs because of this and I do want to try to get back into it but urghhhhhhh.

23. unpopular character you love

This one I struggled with a lot as pretty much all my faves are really popular. The most I can think of is Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Every time I watch it I think he is 14 YEARS OLD. He is a child and all he needs is some stability and a parent to actually care about him. Sure the sex stuff is uncomfortable as hell though but I stick to my guns, the kid is mocked and hated by fans and it's like he's depressed and horny and a teenager. Please just let him have a bisexual panic for Kaworu in peace and not make him pilot the mutilated body of his dead mother.

Thanks for the ask!!!