#i just wanna rearrange my shelf with all my new stuff!!!!

[mmansonisart]

both my cds have been delayed till next friday 💔 but i’m streaming this album like my life depends on it

[musingsbyellecse]

Self Care is About the Little Things

Self Care is about the little things. I have been really stressed out this week, and honestly the 2 weeks before as well. I’m starting to have ideas about the way things have aligned to create this three week long buildup of events that led to this week, but that’s for another time. 

I wanna talk about self care, but like for real. Not the foo foo self care stuff that’s only surface level and reactionary, like having been struggling emotionally, financially, and/or mentally for the last few weeks, months, or years, and then somebody tells you to do a face mask. And I don’t mean the big, periodic, but intentional self care things either, like meditating, praying, venerating, etc. on a full moon or a new moon. No, I mean the self care you can do every day or week. The little things that refill your power bar moment by moment as it gets drained by the world outside of us.

I mean going on a short, 30 minute walk after your lunch. What if you don’t have an hour-long lunch? Valid. I mean coming home to a messy apartment because your apartment had bed bugs so you had to move to a hotel for 2 weeks and the day you got back (and spent the day moving back 2 weeks’ worth of clothes and toiletries, plus all the many items that would be ruined while your apartment gets heated up to 150 degrees to crisp all the bedbugs–sorry, I digress). After dumping all your things in your apartment, you had to pack for a trip to Catalina Island for Valentine’s Day. Then, when you get back to your apartment full of shit from your hotel stay, you throw your multiple luggage bags down and have to work your full time job. You come home, already tired from working full time, to an apartment that is, quite literally, a shitshow (okay, no shit but you get what I mean). 

I don’t know about you, but when my space is messy, my life is messy. I had so much cleaning and organizing and laundry to do, and when I was at work, I had so much emailing, scheduling, and planning to do. I decided to write down the long list of things I needed to get done at home: unpack all my suitcases, put away all my laundry, put toiletries away, put away all my spiritual supplies, etc. Plus, “rearrange the kitchen, rearrange the bathroom, rearrange the closet.” (When I go in, I go in.) Looking at this huge list of things to do can be overwhelming, but I realize I have to get it out of my head, and on to something I can visualize and tackle one-by-one. Plus, I love crossing things out.

Back to what you’d do if you didn’t have an hour lunch and you just came back from bed bugs and an island trip: You’ve got a lot of things on your to-do list, and maybe some of these things are space renovations. Well, if you were me last night, you would have gone grocery shopping to have an excuse (albeit a reasonable one) to be in the kitchen, because that’s been a space on your list for a minute. You play your favorite album, artist, or playlist that gets you through it (mine is When I Get Home followed by A Seat at the Table, both by Solange) while you put the groceries away and you wash the literal pile of dishes on your sink and stove. (Don’t judge me, I know you’ve been there.) With this good music and being able to visibly see mess disappear, you start to get in a little groove, “What can I do next? How else can I make some mess disappear without too much exertion?” You turn to your messy pantry. You’re getting rid of things you ain’t have no business continuing to hold onto, you put all your seasonings back on one, easily accessible shelf, you reorganize your snacks and ingredients so they make sense and are efficient with space. Hell, you might even spend a few minutes reconfiguring the arrangement of a fruit basket and cereal boxes. You’re in a nice funk! You love that this album/artist/playlist always helps you recenter and find peace (Thank you, Solange). 

You’ve now spent a good part of your evening rearranging and cleaning one thing at a time. You may not have busted out the Clorox and scrubbed every crevice, but you got that pantry looking good again! You finally cleared off the kitchen table that was really just the “I don’t know where else to put this shit” table (same for the top of the microwave). You finally did something with them cardboard and storage boxes in the corner. You step back and marvel at your work. You think, “I actually want to be in this kitchen now!” You have two candles on your table and your favorite album/artist/playlist playing, and you decide to finally sit down and write your first blog post, something you’ve been wanting to do for a while, but didn’t know how to start, and didn’t make time for it. 

But you did this time. After a shitty week, and a shitty 2 weeks before that. The rest of your apartment may still be a shitshow, but at least your bed is clear and your kitchen looks nice. It’s the little things out of this grand event of life. It’s going step by step. That’s self care.

-From 2022

[foervraengd]

just want to say congrats on getting clutter taken care of! its so easy to let that shit languish forever (at least for me) so it makes me happy when people go "fuck it" and start cleaning

thank you sm! This is shit that has been languishing for several years. Like this is prob an adhd thing, and its definitely not a useful thing, but every now and then which can span several years, i just get this sudden urge to declutter. And in recent years i have done something you could call “pre-declutter” which is that i just have had cardboard boxes here and there where i just put things as “temporary homes” for them, with the idea that once i am struck with the Actual Declutter Mood, these boxes would help sorting a bit in advance. Which i definitely think worked. I also just have been aware that i really needed another drawer, and now that i finally have it, it is causing a chain reaction of “ok now that i have space for all these things, i can now also rearrange all of those things”.

Yesterday i just spontaneously decided to attach the top half of this shelf, which had been on the floor for several years. This made me fix the inner shelfes of it, because i figured out that i could just use screws as replacements for the missing pegs that held up the shelves.

I dont know what else i will fix or declutter, maybe ill do the bathroom since i have a super tiny bathroom thats really narrow so i dont have much room for any shelfes for storage etc.

but i think my main goal for now is to have all the main storage solutions have space and room for future new stuff i might get. And also making sure everything has an assigned place. I want my home to end up in a state where doing weekly chores is going to be much faster and easier, and also make my home look actually clean. Because when you have a cluttered home, even if you do laundry and dishes etc you still feel like nothing’s changed visually you know? I wanna end that shitty feeling. And im so fkn pumped.

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. doesn't like frogs, onions, loud noises lefty eyebag 😌

Hahaha aw hopefully you were able to take a nap. I did, thats why I didn't reply fast 😅 been doing chores all morning, finally got the shelf for the kitchen/dining so I have more storage. So I was building that and organizing it.

Oof I had a similar experience! But how mine ended up being folded was because something went in my eye, so I had to scratch it. Then it was one of those that you can sleep with. So I did, and I probably kept scratching my eye because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly. Then I saw the blueish film of it on the corner, and had to move my eye so I can get it out.

There was a YouTube video of this woman, who had several folded lenses in her eye..like how did that not bother her is crazy.

I don't think the frame was square enough hahaha cause I had 3 choices and the lady startled me when I was looking. But maybe I did. We shall see when they call me to pick it up! And yes, I know what you mean! That's why I hated those middle things too, because it would pull on my hair lol

Oh I see. So the frames you have are from Indonesia? And they didn't have to adjust the glass?

No, I didn't get the transition one. I am cheap lol I should've gotten the one with the blue light filter though, because I think that helps with my eyes too.

Ah so lost in assistance is coming to an end? Do you mind if I ask about 10 days? Been waiting on that one too 🥲

That's cute. Her having her own little suitcase just full of toys and snacks. So you guys don't travel light? Are you someone who overpacks?

Ah yeah traveling to the busy airports can definitely get your anxiety up. In Nebraska, our airport is also a small one, I hate it, because it is so crowded for a small place. I wish they made it bigger and have more room.

If I go there before you, I'll definitely tell you the experience. I am excited to try out all the meat! Apparently the salad bar is great too.

So an Ace is a term for asexual people. After my separation, I started self reflecting that maybe I am asexual. Because even before I started dating, I never had interest in sex. I like the romance and the dating but when it came to sex, I was indifferent.

Hahaha okay okay, I'll describe the type of girl I like. She gotta be straight. I'm kidding. Hm, so I like girls who are funny, driven, who are ambitious, can get the job done. Someone who would listen to me and my rambles, someone who would understand when I want to be left alone because of my emotions but know when to comfort me. Someone who doesn't mind my childlike self, and would laugh with me about stupid crazy stuff.

I don't know, there's more and I could go on and on, but I don't wanna bore you lol

Yeah I am off today, so now I am just thinking about either going grocery shopping or rearranging the living room area because I need to get another shelf to put my books and vinyls but also need to find room for the cat tree.

Hm do you believe in karma?

- CuriousGeorge

hello hello righty eyebag. i went for a simple nickname this time. hhaha.

no, i didnt nap but im glad u did. oh nice, that sounds like a productive day. hows the moving going? do u like ur new place? i didnt remember if u told me that u live by urself or not.

ah i see. my sister does that often, she sleeps with it. n im always worried that something happen n effect her eyes. n yeesss i saw that video, it's crazy. i think it was like 20 layers or something. even the doctor said it's her record for having that case with that many contacts.

aaw i hope u gonna like the glasses. it would be suck if u dont because u gonna wear it everyday. well, yeah the frames from indonesia n they checked n adjust the lens to my sight condition.

ah yeah, i think i got mine with that blue light filter too.

yes, lost in assistance in on the last chapter (Ch. 65). oh Ten Days, dont worry i dont forget about it. I love writing that series,it's fun. because it has a lot of comedy in it. I already have the out lines for the next few chapters, i just havent got the chance to write. Ten Days and Lessons Learned are the fics that surprisingly people like it. I actually didnt think that people reaction's will be that good and they love it. :D I got a lot to get done on my fics. that's why i dont do Christmas request event this year.

I really try to get everything done, so on valentine i can get a series posted. I have some good plot for a series with Wanda for Valentine theme. :D

yeah, i want to teach her responsibility, so i will let her bring her own suitcase even though i know it will be a pain in the butt when it's on the cabinet. she will probably keep asking me to grab something over n over again. lol. plus her grandma told us to bring extra suitcase for her toys that she's gonna bring back home from her.

well before i have my daughter, i always pack extra clothes n stuff when i travel for all "just in case". i usually count two pairs of clothes for each day. lol. i even bring extra pair of glasses. n extra shoes n flip flops. meanwhile my husband always bring a pair a day clothes. so my overthinking n anxious ass sometimes sneak in some of his clothes for just in case. n it happened a few times that he end up wear that extra clothes i brought. lol. Men, what would they do with out us women. hahahahah.

yes please, let me know how is that restaurant if u go.

Ah i see. thank you for explaining for me. can i ask u a question? u dont have to answer it if u r uncomfortable. what if ur partner wants or love sex? will u still do it? im sorry if this question comes rude or offensive or anything. this is a new thing for me (i've kinda heard about it but dont know much n dont know anybody to ask about it).

ohhh ur type, sounds like me. hahahahaha. just kidding.

it's okay, u can tell me more how is ur type? u wont bore me,i like knowing more about u.:)

oh nice, ur place sounds cozy by the way u decor it. i love vinyls. i always want to have one n collect them but i think it will be hard if i have a curious toddler as curious as curious george. lol. i guess i will get one when she is older. what's ur interior decor style? how do u like it?

yes, i 100% believe in karma. that's why when i got really mad at people or when people do bad to me, i try to still be nice because i believe karma will get them n if i'm lucky enough, i can watch karma does its job. hahaha. i believe what goes around comes around. all i wanna do is do good to people, not that i expect to have good come back to me. i genuinely wanna do good. but u know what i meant.

next question? feel free to ask me anything u wanna know :)

Cheerio!

[silverloke]

Show your ponies!!!

but they’re so many D:

the main cabinet, gonna have to rearrange it a bit, take out the 25 and 35 yr repro packages and stuff in more 80′s ponies/G1 and there’s plenty of space in the bottom right just need to add another shelf for them to stand on but you know, procrastinating

playsets and more ponies waiting to get shoved inside the cabinet also 2 fakies i know i didnt bother to remove them for the photo

this huge-ass playset occupying my floor because i havent found something big enough to put it on but i have plans of when i do, wanna add grass and trees and shrubberies and lights, fill the pool with coloured glass marbles etc. also a few more loose ponies that also haven’t gotten to move in with the others

spot the unopened g4 playset castle in the background for comparison of new vs old style on things?

even more loose ponies also a few doublettes that i’ve been meaning to sell for like 3 years but procrastination is a bitch

the new repro ponies found in stores and webshops (with prettiest Stranger Things upside down applejack in the middle there) as well as even more 80′s ponies that have been temporarily stashed here. i have even more 80′s ponies scattered around but cba to find them all

the g3′s and the keyper horses and cute fakies oh and i just noticed the g4 when uploading the pic

the g4′s and the one lonely g2 at the far left side. i don’t think i’m gonna buy any of the brand new g5 (or g4.5 as they should be?)

ughh i don’t even wanna think of how much money i’ve put on this collection 🙈 and i know i should sort them out and sell a bunch like ice crystal and fireball while the prices are still insanely high, but...... that’s difficult to do. oh also just noticed you can’t even see my most expensive pony in the pics lmao fail

anyways this is just a small collection compared to what others have.... my dream would be having a pony made in India or any South American country <3 (but like hell i could afford it together with the current shipping prices lol... BUT IF ANYONE WANTS TO DONATE ONE, HIT ME UP)

[justacouplebandfics]

You're like the sunshine in the lazy days of June (Jalex one-shot)

Description: Pure self-indulgent fluff because I'm feeling a bit lonely. Jack and Alex are lounging around on the tour bus on a chilly day in June.

Also available here on Wattpad.

Alex's POV

It's June, the start of Summer, which means one day you're outside having a BBQ with your friends, and the next you're wrapped up in a jumper trying to remember what the sun looked like. Today, unfortunately, is the latter.

Yesterday was much the former- we all set up deck chairs outside the bus and had a couple drinks, and thinking it would stay that warm I went to sleep in just my boxers with the covers thrown out into the walkway. Unfortunately Mother Nature had other plans, and I woke up absolutely freezing, rolling over and pulling the curtain open I found out someone had nicked my covers in the night- I can't really blame them, I definitely would've done the same.

Blowing out a sharp breath to psych myself up I quickly push myself out of the mild warmth of my bunk and tip-toe jog over to the wardrobe, trying not to wake anyone up. Reaching in I grab the first pair of joggers and hoodie I can find, immediately putting them on, relishing the new found warmth.

I tip-toe back to my bunk to grab my phone, unlocking the screen to check the time- 7:00 A.M. I guess it serves me right for being so cocky with my sleeping attire, I decide there's no point going back to bed- I may as well make use of the extra time I have now with something productive. Heading into the front of the bus I make sure the door to the bunks is closed before putting the kettle on and getting out a mug and the stuff for a coffee. I lean against the counter as I wait for the water to boil, looking down I realise it's Jack's hoodie I'm wearing- I pull the neckline up over my nose and breath in his smell, wrapping my arms around myself.

"You're up early" Jack startles me from the doorway, making me jump a foot in the air. He chuckles as I take a couple deep breaths, walking over to me.

"I didn't hear you come in"

"Some of us are a bit quieter when we know people are still sleeping"

"Sorry" I sheepishly mumble, looking up at him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I'm only joking 'Lex, I was already half awake anyway, it's too damn cold to sleep" he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pressing his cold nose to my neck.

I giggle and pull away "Coffee?" I ask. He makes an affirmative noise and goes to sit down on the sofa, clearly still groggy from the lack of sleep.

I pull out a second mug as the kettle boils, making us both coffee and bringing it over to where Jack is sitting; I curl up at his side and he wraps one arm around me, the other holding the mug. We sit in silence for a while, drinking the coffee and adjusting to being awake.

"I didn't ask, why are you up so early?" Jack asks, braking the silence.

"Same as you, too cold" I look up at him, flashing him a smile, then looking back at the half empty mug "I was too hot last night so I threw off my covers, someone must've picked them up because they weren't there this morning." Jack chuckles, pulling me a bit closer into his side and rubbing my arm.

Finishing his coffee Jack sets his mug down on the small table in front of us, I follow suit, taking his now free hand in both of mine. I run my fingers over the callouses on his fingertips, built up over years of playing guitar, tracing every line and contour, completely losing myself in the motions. Jack nuzzles his nose into my hair, resting his cheek on my head, watching me, occasionally kissing the top of my head or closing his fingers around my hand.

It's not long before the rest of the guys start filtering into the kitchen, and then the lounge, flopping down on the couches, and when those are full, grabbing some cushions to sit on on the floor. I scoot over so I'm sat over Jack's lap, body on one side, feet on the other, so there's more room for other people on the couch, but there just isn't enough room for everyone to get a place.

It seems to have been unanimously and silently decided that today will be a non-day, with half the guys nursing a hangover from the night before and the other half feeling lazy we set about what movie to put on first. We take a vote and it only barely wins in favour of a new thriller that just came out- I'm not particularly fussed about what we watch but Jack seemed excited for it so I voted what he chose. Rian, Matt, and a couple of the crew guys groan and start making their way back to the bunks, heads far too pounding from last night to be watching it; the rest of us have a bit of a giggle about it, having taken it easy last night, and rearrange on the sofa so now everyone has a spot.

Jack's POV

A few movies in I started to tune out, I think everyone did- movie days are great in theory but I just don't have the attention span for it. I've been idly playing with Alex's hair instead for the last half hour or so, cherishing how he leans back into me when I scratch in just the right places, kinda like a dog I think to myself, letting out a giggle. Alex gives me a puzzled look, I just shake my head and kiss his forehead, looking back up at the TV to see if I can get back into the film, luckily Zach saves me.

"Right guys, this has been great but I can't watch any more films for like, a week" he says getting up from his spot on the couch, joints popping as he stretches. We all groan at the sound but follow suit, stretching out of the positions we've been sat in for the last who-knows-how-many hours.

My stomach rumbles loudly as I remember I haven't eaten anything yet, and neither has Alex, or, I assume, most of the guys "Who wants pizza?" I ask "I'm thinking about ordering some." At the mention of pizza the few remaining guys who hadn't joined us from the bunks came out, and I grab the laptop from the table while we all start deciding what to get.

One ridiculously large order later we all divvy up the respective pizzas and retreat to our own areas of the bus, having well and truly timed out our social timers for the day. Me and Alex settle into my bunk, sat cross legged on either end, heads slightly ducked to fit in, with the open pizza box set in between us.

We eat the first couple slices in silence, much like the coffee this morning, and then Alex starts off on a story he'd completely forgotten about Rian last night. He sets his pizza slice down, fully engrossed in telling the story, scooting over to my side of the bunk to lie down next to me; I pull the box up onto our laps, one arm around him, the other still going to town on the pizza, laughing along as he finishes up telling me about how Rian shot gun three beers in a row because he just couldn't do it right, spilling most of it down himself.

Uncomfortably full from the greasy pizza, I stand up and take the empty box to the kitchen so we can properly lie down in bed, when I get back Alex has ditched the hoodie and gotten under the covers instead. I take mine off too and scoot in next to him, wrapping him up in my arms.

"Wanna listen to some music?" he half-yawns, half-asks, shifting around to get his phone out of his pocket. I reach up to the little shelf in my bunk and grab my earphones, handing them to Alex.

"Anything specific?" I ask as he plugs them in.

"I didn't have anything in mind, do you?" I shake my head, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He hands me one of the earphones as he puts the other one in his ear. We lie back a bit more and get comfy, becoming a tangle of arms and legs while he hits shuffle on a playlist. I can feel the vibrations of him humming along against my chest, I lie my head back and look at the top of the bunk, encompassed in a shell of warm happiness.

I slowly trail my hand up and down his back as I feel him getting more and more relaxed against me, it's 11:00 P.M now, which is normally still relatively early for us, but having been awake since 7:00 A.M it felt much later, and warranted feeling so tired.

"'S okay if I sleep here tonight?" Alex mumbled, in a way that made me think even if I said no he'd already be asleep by the time I answered "Still dunno where my covers are."

I smiled and peppered the top of his head with kisses "Of course 'Lex."

"Night Jack."

I took the phone out of his pocket and paused the music, trying to put it on charge with the hand that wasn't under his head but giving up and placing it on the shelf instead. Kissing his forehead once more for good measure I settled back and shut my eyes "Night Alex."

[partnersatfazbear]

I don’t have anything super new to post, so here’s the sketch for Page 26 of the comic. I’ve had a lot of sort of full-page shots in this chapter. I kinda go on instinct about how much dialogue there is VS how I picture the scene in my head.

A lot of Charlie and Elizabeth next. I hate coloring them BUT it will be adorable seeing them bond. Kinda ironic if you’ve read TFC, though.

What was taking up a huge chunk of my time was making our living room work in our apartment. My wife injured her foot / has had some bad health problems lately, and my lazy ass doesn’t move, so I did a good chunk of the work. I don’t mind, I rarely get to take care of her. I’m just glad the rearranging of the furniture is done and I have an organized proper work space. The rainbow shelving are my sales in organized form. The shelf is mostly holding printer stuff, except for the top which are all doujin/artbooks of my favorite artist and some odds and ends. Ignore all the llamas, unless you wanna drop me an ask about them =:V

I don’t know if sharing my online resale store helped here, but if you saw it and made a purchase... I can’t thank you guys enough. We can afford groceries and I even made enough to save up for a lifetime grail of mine coming out in possibly the fall, IF I can actually secure one. Unlikely, given how bad bots and scalpers are since the pandemic. My wife said she would help me get Arcade1Up’s Killer Instinct cabinet from scalpers, if we had to... and I really don’t want to pay $700 for something I have emulated, could play on an official cart, or build myself for cheaper than MSRP, which is around $440 after taxes... But yeah.

If you’re not from the US, we’re finally getting the stimulus checks. This will likely be the last round, so outside fixing my cat who is almost 4 now and desperately needs spaying, I don’t plan to buy anything with it. I’m kind of hoping to start it as a fund towards a down payment on a premade manufactured home, but we didn’t qualify for a realtor loan and we won’t be able to. I don’t think we can qualify for the FHA loan either. Our last chance is going to a credit union and I may open a line of credit by cancelling Netflix so I can pay the monthly fees and build some.

I’ve also worked on my game quite a bit this past week, since I have 2 weeks to get the demo done. I’ve had a lot of ER and Dawko running in the background...

I don’t think I have anything else to say really. I noticed a lot of people are leaving kudos on Resurrection Seeker, and it makes me really happy yall are enjoying it, but I also feel guilty because I just can’t push through to update the last half, especially since I’m concerned about the direction FNAF is going.

We’ll see?

Thanks again everyone

[geekeryandsentiment]

I remember you telling us, you know quite a bit about all the kiddo’s rooms. Can you describe them for us? And why did Liz wanna rearrange her room? (as mentioned in the silent treatment) Also, You had mentioned chalkboard paint once, and I found that idea so cool😍

Hey there! You send this in about four years ago and I just didn’t have the time to answer when you sent it in and then idk, I just got lazy and let it sit in my inbox for a while...however, here’s your answer, sorry about that. This one is below the cut and I’m warning you it’s loooooong. Sorry lol, I got a lot carried away. I hope it was worth the wait lol. Sorry again.

Before I forget...Lizzie just wanted to rearrange things. Sometimes moving the direction the furniture is facing can help spice things up a bit. If i remember correctly she was 11/12ish during the silent treatment and around that age Arthur pulled out his old desk from storage and put it in her room, so possibly she thought of a better way to rearrange her furniture to put that desk in the place she wanted it? 

Liam’s room is like his happy space. There is no theme or reason to anything. It’s all completely random. He’s still got posters and trinkets from his first year attending school and even before that. Alby’s art is plastered on his walls and he has old birthday cards and little notes that he and Alex used to pass back and forth in lessons tacked up on his walls as well. He has repainted it 4ish times since he was eleven and his parents repainted one of the other rooms (the one that would eventually become Alby’s room) and he decided it looked fun and wanted to try it. One time, when he was sixteen, he endured his room being pink for almost three months over the summer because Elizabeth dared him to do it when he was discussing possible color changes and he didn’t have anything else to do that next day (and has absolutely nothing against the color pink) so decided to take everything off his walls and paint them pink just to show her that he would. His room is currently green and the wall that had chalkboard paint on it is accented a darker brown (the green did NOT properly cover up the chalkboard with only two coats and he didn’t have any more green so he had to improvise). For several years he had a whole wall of chalkboard paint (the around his door) and he and Alex were entertained by that for many many hours in their preteen years. He is the only one of the kiddos to have a TV in his room. He didn’t get it until he was thirteen and he had to practically trade away his soul to convince Waverly to allow it, but he and Alex also had a lot of fun playing video games on that throughout the years. He has Theo’s old room, and Theo is very crafty with his hands. When he was younger he installed bookcases into the same wall his two windows are on, so William has bookcases surrounding his two windows that go from his ceiling to his floor. They are covered in books, some of which he will never read but owns anyway simply because he likes the cover and think they look cool. The other furniture in his room doesn’t match all all. Like at all. For the most part that is because he has broken a lot of the pieces that used to match and instead of doing what Waverly wanted to do and reordering the pieces or even picking something that matches the remaining stuff, Liam just picked out things he liked as replacements, even if they clashed with the other things in his room already.

Alex’s room is a bit more themed and put together, but it’s also always messy. It’s not dirty. It’s regularly cleaned and he makes his bed every morning (and if he dared leave food wrappers or any food in his room Waverly would have his head) but it’s cluttered most of the time. He doesn’t really mind if things are on the floor or if his desk is stacked three feet high with different files and textbooks and Lord knows what else. He knows where everything is. He manages to stay ahead with his schoolwork and keep everything straight, so Arthur and Waverly don’t hound him too often to make sure his room is as neat as they would like. His room is pretty typical. It’s painted a dark, navy blue and he has a whole lot of red (his curtains and bed sheets) and grey (his comforter and bean bag) accents. He does have a giant beanbag in the back corner behind his bed that Alby loves to fall asleep in sometimes, though. His bedroom used to belong to Beatrice when she lived in the palace when Arthur was younger, but her pink walls were painted over when he was about one years old and Arthur and Waverly decided to stick him in the room beside William’s. It’s nothing too fancy. William’s room is definitely far more interesting with the built in bookshelves (and wait until you hear about Lizzie’s room...🤭) but it’s his home. That’s his safe space. When he feels like the whole world is against him, the only place he wants to be besides maybe on his piano bench, is his own bedroom. 

Elizabeth’s room has changed colors a few times throughout the years too, but it’s stayed purple, just different shades. Her room is across the hall from Liam and Alex’s and on the same side of the quarters as the sitting room, meaning her windows overlook the palace gardens. She has a large, three window set up with a small cushioned seating area that extends out from the wall a little bit. When she was younger she had a few cushions and a mattress pad there and her and Alex would have sleepovers in her room all the time. They would look up at the stars and she would try to point out constellations. Now, that mattress pad is used every once in a while for Alby if he wants to spend the night in her room, but more often it’s tucked away and she just uses the area to sit on her laptop or read. In the corner she has a large corner desk with a desktop computer with two monitors. She doesn’t have a TV, and she doesn’t really need one because she has a pretty sweet set up there. Her desk belonged to Arthur when he was younger (no, none of the children are in his old bedroom. Too many unhappy memories. That’s used as a guest bedroom now, and only if there are too many guest to fill up the other two rooms) and still has his initials carved into the corner from when he got bored and engraved them one day when he was about twelve with an old key he found. Her room is more themed than Liam’s, her furniture matches, even Arthur’s desk fits in really well with the other black pieces, but there isn’t really a color scheme or anything. Lizzie doesn’t really care about that. She just fills it with things she likes. Oh, she also has a blacklight in her room and an epic solar system hanging from her ceiling as well as markers that she can draw all over that massive window with. When she was home full time it used to be schedules and count downs until special dates and to do lists. Now it’s not quite as busy as it used to be and more often than not the windows can actually be seen out of because they aren’t covered in marker...but every once in a while she’ll feel a sudden urge to draw on them again and fill them with chemistry or math or biology...or even music. 

Alby’s room is stand alone and surprisingly the farthest away from Arthur and Waverly’s because he was born last. He is on the same side of the hall as Lizzie, but he does not have the room connected to hers. He’s actually one more down. ((Oh, this is actually relevant so let me talk about it for a moment...The room that is connected to Lizzie’s is currently used as a lab or sorts for her. She has all kinds of old technology in it that she tinkers with a lot, it’s pretty empty and none of the others are jealous that she has the extra room or anything. They do call it Lizzie’s “lab” though sometimes, and there is a proper key to it that she has and she regularly locks it when she doesn’t want Alby to go in and touch anything she’s working on.)) His room is still really kid-ish. He has toys and a little chair that hangs from his ceiling that he can sit in when he reads. His room doesn’t have the same bay window that Lizzie’s does. He doesn’t spend a lot of time in his room. He’s almost always in one of his siblings’ rooms or he’s lugged a handful of toys down to the sitting room/Arthur’s study/wherever someone else is to sit and quietly play near them. He doesn’t really like to be alone, and his room reflects that. There isn’t a lot of personalized things in his room, instead he likes to leave an impression on the other rooms of the house (leaving drawings on the walls in Liam’s room, pictures on Lizzie’s windows when she lets him use her markers, and leaving stuffed animals and small toys on the shelf where Alex’s stuffed crocodile spends his lonely days now that he’s a teenager and he doesn’t play with him anymore). No one seems to mind, in fact, William regularly tells him when he’s away at school that he wants a whole new set of pictures hanging in his room for him when he gets home to help keep the baby busy. Alby has his own shelf full of books that has slowly started to overflow as his siblings slowly hand the boy more and more books to read. His favorite toy when he was younger, and to this day, is trains. He looooooves trains. So if his room has any theme in the chaos it’s definitely trains. He has those stickers on his walls of little cartoon trains and he almost always has some giant town built with the little wooden train sets across the back half of his room on the floor. His parents gave up trying to make him clean those up every night a long time ago. Some battles just aren’t worth fighting, especially when one little town of his creation could keep him occupied for days. 

I don’t know if you meant Elaina too but you’re going to get her because I’m on a roll at this point, lol. Elaina’s room is...well kind of boring. And she hasn’t had too much freedom to change anything either which kind of stinks. She has Brielle’s old room and it is exactly how you would expect a princess’s room to look. Light baby pink walls. Her furniture is white. It’s adorable. She HATES it. I mean, I shouldn’t say it like that, it’s her room and she likes it because it’s her space. But she doesn’t like how it looks. She doesn’t really like how it looks like a nursery (because it kind of does) but her parents aren’t really feeling the whole re-painting thing and her furniture belonged to her grandmother and so it’s staying in the family and she can’t get rid of that either. She really loves all three of the English kids’ rooms. They all are a little darker and the paint and the colors are cooler and not as bright and blinding as her pink and white. She is just a touch jealous that despite Arthur and Waverly’s dictaror-ish tendencies, they let their kids decorate their rooms how they want. She’s an artist, as you all know and she loves to sketch and paint and draw. At one point when she was about 11 or 12, I forget exactly but it’s written so perhaps I could share it one day, she used a sketching pencil to draw this really pretty floral design down the side of her nightstand and her parents saw it and lost their shit (old family antiques are not for drawing on, Elaina. You know better!). She hasn’t dared try to do that again, but she’s also always wanted to get all new white furniture and paint over it and cover it in her own drawings. One day she promises herself that she will. In the meantime, she has one single poorly shaded drawing on her nightstand that she managed to convince her parents to let her keep and not erase. 

That was a LOT. However...sprinkled in there is a few really relevant pieces of information. The story arch I am currently working on directly involves some of this information and you know how my brain is...I can’t think of anything without figuring it out for everyone...so you’ll see some of this brought up in the actual story again too, eventually. 

[hvlfwygod]

faces | len & blue

“Um, excuse me?”

“Huh?” The person holding the book— Blue, they were pretty sure— looked up when Len spoke. Her gaze was intense, as was the rest of her. There was a lot to take in, but Len mostly noticed the confusing assortment of straps and clips on her cargo pants, the almost aggressive space buns on her head, and just how bright her orange shirt was. Her black boot fell from the shelf it was propped up against with a heavy thunk.

Len shrank a little and smiled awkwardly, waving. They were wearing torn jeans covered in paint from the last time they built a set, and a sweatshirt with Winnie the Pooh on it. The two of them looked like completely different genres accidentally shelved side by side. “You’re standing right in front of the section I wanted to look at.”

“Oh, shit.” Blue seemed to just notice the books behind her. “I am. Sorry.” She considered the pages in her hands, then moved aside with the tome still open.

“Is it good?” Len asked, noting the size and the fact that she was nearly a third of the way through it. They squinted and tilted their head so they could read the title. “Is that... IT?”

“Yeah.”

“How long have you been standing here?”

“Like 20 minutes?”

Len’s eyes bugged. “Did you... start from the beginning, or...?”

Blue laughed. “Oh my gods, imagine if I just read this fast? Nah, nah, I was just gonna do this joke. My girlfriend said I should pick up some light reading on the way home so I was gonna look at some random chapters and pretend I read this whole book in the bookstore. Do you think it’s too long? Like, they’re never going to believe me anyway but I wanna try to make it at least a little convincing.”

“Um, maybe a little long.” Len grinned. “But do you like it?”

“Kinda? It’s really fucked up. Sorry,” she said to the person walking past who gave her a disapproving look. “It’s not a library, lady,” she mumbled under her breath when the woman disappeared. “Anyway, sorry for blocking your path.”

“No problem, Len said, but Blue was already back to reading. Feeling a little dismissed, Len scanned the spines in front of them. Lots of murder mysteries, just not the one they wanted. They sighed. Even though they had several books already stacked in their arm, Len pulled a few interesting looking novels off the shelf and inspected their back covers.

Did they have a million things to read back at the cabin? Yes, but Len couldn’t help themselves. They loved fiction, be it books, TV, musicals, whatever. They were addicted to finding more stories, sinking into them, becoming another person for a while. If they didn’t get to do it often, Len started to miss it. Like a part of who they were required trying on personalities and discarding the pieces that didn’t suit them. They found they kind of needed to become other people, sometimes.

They liked to think it was because of Dionysus. It wasn’t drinking, no, or some weird ritual in the woods, but Len always thought the idea of sinking your identity into a thing as sort-of, kind-of losing your mind for a little bit. Rearranging it, a little bit. 

But they didn’t talk about this kind of thing out loud because they thought it sounded pretentious. Len didn’t like pretentious people.

After a while, with this intimidating, much-cooler-than-they-will-ever-be person standing so close, Len felt like they had to say something again. “Blue, right?”

“Yep. How’d you know that?”

“Oh, um, I just...” Len blushed. “I’ve been asking about everyone because I’m new. Ish. I’ve been here almost two months now? Anyway. That’s why.”

“Oh, cool, okay.” Blue paused, then tapped her head with her finger. “Right. Your name?”

“Len. Short for— You know, just Len.”

“Cool. Just Len.”

Len pressed their lips together in a little smile. They wondered if Blue ever felt like she needed to be another person. “Have you read Stephen King before?”

“I haven’t read a book in like seven years.”

“What!” Len’s mouth hung open. “How?”

“Because I have no patience.” She gave Len a challenging look.

“Oh no, I mean, not like it’s a bad thing. I just... I read like, a book a week, I can’t imagine going so long without reading something.”

“Well, sorry to you bookworms but I’m different. Also, dyslexic.” Blue cocked her head. “Aren’t we all, because we’re demigods and shit?”

“Yeah,” Len said with a shrug. “I just like reading that much.”

Blue nodded. It seemed Len won her approval. “Cool. Admirable. Have you read this?”

“It’s on my list. I read The Shining and it was okay? But I tend to like the more like, Agatha Christie kind of stuff?”

“Never heard of her but that’s cool.” Blue’s eyes went a little wide, and she snapped the book shut. “Can you tell me about Shining? Or one of Aggie’s books? I can pretend I read that instead.”

“Oh, I mean, sure!” Len thought this was a lot of dedication for a simple prank, but it could be a fun adventure. They could sink back into a favorite story and give Blue a bit of a show. Len was suddenly very interested in doing this. “I was going to go to the arts and crafts room after this, want to walk with me?”

“Sounds perfect!” Blue earned another dirty look and this time, an annoyed ‘sh!’ She rolled her eyes. “Are you done, though? I don’t want to interrupt your shopping spree.”

Len blushed again and put all but one of the mysteries back. The last remaining she added to her pile. “I think that’s enough damage for today.”

“Sweetness, I super owe you one for doing this random thing for like, a stranger.” Blue dropped quickly into a squat and slipped the book back into its place.

Len blinked and Blue was back to standing. Gods, she was cool.

“Are you not gonna get that?” they asked.

“Nah, I’m never gonna read it.”

[rlbubbles]

my mom doesn't understand me part 1

(disclaimer : I don’t support or encourage self harm, or disorders of any kind, this is only a post to explain what I’m going through. If you are having trouble with anything, mental health or physical health, please get help.) and know I love you. even if I don't know you, I love you. and we can get through this. 💙💙

TRIGGER ALERT : IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH, I STRONGLY ADVISE YOU TO CONSIDER NOT READING THIS POST, I DON'T WANT TO TRIGGER ANY OF YOU, I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANY OF YOU.

mom : honey, what's wrong?

me : *explains what's wrong super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh. I'm sorry. okay.

me : *nods*

mom 2 hours later : hey. what's wrong? is everything okay?

me : no. I'm not okay.

mom : what's wrong?

me : same thing I told you a few hours ago. I still feel upset/hurt about it.

mom : what is it?

me : I told you already.

mom : tell me again.

me : *explains it to her super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh. okay. I'm sorry. maybe I can help. what can we do to make you feel better?

me : *explains what will make me better super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh okay. we can do that. it's easy.

me : yup. thanks mom.

mom 2 hours later : *does the EXACT opposite of what will make me better and thinks it will fix everything*

me : *realizes what she did* *panics/panic attack and ask* mom? why? why would you do that?

mom : because we talked about it, this would make you better.

me : no. mom. no. I said *the exact opposite* would make me better. this made it SO much WORSE!!

mom : oh. I'm sorry. I just wanted to help you, because I love you.

me : I know mom. I'm sorry. it's not your fault.

mom : okay. I love you.

me : I love you too.

me 2 days later : *stressing bc mom "fixed it" but really it's way worse and I'm struggling to find a solution to feel better*

me a day later : *realizes the solution is to push through it, (bc it's ocd and fear of fears,) and I'll realize I'm okay.

mom 2 hours later : sweetie, what's wrong? are you okay?

me : no. I've been stressed out for a few days now.

mom : why? what's wrong?

me : same thing that was wrong a few days ago. it hasn't changed.

mom : *thinks really hard* I don't remember. what was it?

me : *explains it super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh. I thought we fixed that.

me : no. you tried to fix it, but I couldn't feel better.

mom : oh. well. what can we do to fix it, so you feel better?

me : *explains what will make me better super clearly and in detail*

mom : oh. okay. that's easy. we can do that. okay. relax. you'll be okay. okay. I understand. you don't need to stress anymore, okay. I love you.

me : *sigh of relief* thanks mom. I love you too.

mom 2 hours later : *"fixes it" by doing the exact opposite of what will make me better*

me : *panics* mom? why did you do that?

mom : bc you said it would make you better.

me : no. mom, that's not what I said. I said *the exact opposite* would make me feel better.

mom : oh. I'm sorry. sweetie, I just wanted to help you. bc I love you.

me : I know mom. it's not your fault, I probably confused you when I explained it to you. (a lie bc, i don't want to make her feel bad, bc she struggles with depression and for a while suicidal thoughts)

mom : okay.

me 5 days later : *been struggling with panic attacks every two hours for the last 5 days because my mom "fixed it" and my solution is to push through the fear bc it's ocd and fear of fears, and I will eventually realize I'm okay, so long as I push through it, so I've been in my room all day everyday, for the last 5 days, bc it's my only safe place*

mom : *knocks on door, opens door* hey. are you okay. you haven't left your room for almost a week.

me : *panics, I can't tell her I'm not okay, bc she will want to "fix it", and I can't make her feel bad and think it's her fault. lies* yeah, I'm okay mom. I just really like my room, you know.

mom : are you sure?

me : yup. really. I'm okay. *smiles so she drops it*

mom : okay. *leaves room, closes door*

mom 2 hours later : *knocks on door, opens door* hi. I was just thinking, you know how you said you really like your room?

me : yeah. *nervous, what is she getting at*

mom : well, what if we rearranged it so you have more space since you like to be in your room?

me : *panics, knowing that if my room were rearranged, it wouldn't feel like my safe place anymore, bc of ocd and fear of fears. tries to make up a reason for why I don't want my room moved without my mom feeling bad* um. no. that's okay, I really like my room like this.

mom : really? are you sure?

me : yeah. I'm sure. it's perfect.

mom : mmm. are you sure? it looks a bit crowded.

me : mmm, no. it's actually not. besides it feels cozy like this. I really like it.

mom : are you sure? I'm really good at tectris, I can move your room around and you can have more space.

me : no. that's okay. there's actually a lot of space in my room. you can't tell bc you're looking at it from the doorway, but if you were to step inside and move around my room, you'd see it's actually spacious.

mom : are you sure. you're going to spend a lot of time in here. I want you to be comfortable. I can move your room. it would be really easy.

me : no. that's okay, mom. I really like it like this. please don't move my room around.

mom : *nods*

me : thanks mom.

mom : I'm just trying to help. bc I love you.

me : I know mom. and I appreciate that, but I really like my room like this.

mom : *nods*

me : thanks mom. I love you.

mom : *leaves room, closes door*

me : *slow breathing to get rid of panic attack that was caused by stress and worry that I had to come up with an idea to keep my mom from moving my room around, my safe place. panic attack leaves after 10 minutes*

mom 2 hours later : dinner. come and eat.

me and my brother : *walk to dining area to eat*

mom : *weirdly disappears for 30 minutes*

me and my brother : *decide to watch a movie in the living room*

mom : *suddenly reappears and sits and eats at the dining table*

movie : *end credits roll*

me and my brother : wow that was a really cool movie.

me : well, I'm going to my room now

brother : okay, I'll go to my room too.

me : *walks to my room, notices my door is closed, it's never closed, I panic, I turn the handle and see my room*

my room : hi. I've been rearranged. I'm no longer your safe place. your bed isn't where it used to be. and that pile of stuffed animals you had on your bed ready to be used by you when you "can't do this anymore" yup, there on that shelf over there, in a neat line. and the stuff that used to be on that shelf is now either on your desk, which is also moved or in your dressers' drawers, also... moved. but hey, you have .08 inches of more space!! I wonder what your going to do with it!! so I know I'm not the same room you left like 2 hours ago. but can we still be friends. I hope you like me. please like me. it's not my fault. I didn't want to be moved around. but your mom moved me. bc the only sign on your door that says "keep out" is an invisible lock of trust that's on your door. trust between parent and child. but that lock is easily broken (whispers) all you do is turn the door handle, and push the door open. so. do you wanna come and sit on your bed, and hug a stuffed animal, that you'll need to pluck off the shelf, after panicking bc you have to chose ONE from the shelf, but how do you chose ONE, when you second guess everything, but don't worry about that, just pick ONE, and sit on your bed and you can cry silently, being tormented by suicidal thoughts until you tire yourself out and fall asleep. but don't worry, those thoughts will be there for you when you wake up, waiting for you to wake up, it'll have a big grin and a knife, shining in a beautiful light, calling your name. so wanna close the door, and we can start.

me : *panics, can't breathe, tears are banging behind my eyes, runs to find my mom who sits at the dining table eating, like nothing is wrong*

me : mom. uh. I just went to my room, and it looks different.

mom : yeah. I know. I moved it for you. *smiles, like she deserves a best mom of the year award*

me : *chokes on my tears, still holding them back* you moved it. why? I thought we talked about it. you said you weren't going to move my room.

mom : we did. but I figured you'd like your room more if it's more spacious.

me : but I told you I liked it how it was.

mom : I know.

me : so why did you move it?

mom : bc I thought you'd like it.

me : *confused* but I said I didn't want you to move it.

mom : yeah, but you know how you don't really know what you like until you see it. *shrugs* same thing. I wanted you to see how I could make your room look, bc i think you might like it.

me : um. but I said I didn't want it to be moved. and I know myself really well.

mom : mmmm. *tilts head side to side* do you, though? I'm your mom, I think I know you better than you know yourself.

also mom : *works 24/7 and only talks to me at dinner for 2 minutes and at night to say good night. and when I "schedule" time to talk to her once a month for an hour to two to catch her up on my life.*

me : *struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for about 4 months when I was 14, and my mom didn't know anything, not even that I would cry in the bathroom every night for two hours. she only found out, bc I couldn't take it anymore and I was between killing myself or asking somebody for help. and I decided to text my uncle at 1 o'clock in the morning, and he text back. and said we should go out for ice cream when I wake up and we can talk about it. she only found out, bc I had to explain, why all of a sudden, I was leaving to see my uncle. and "just because we want to see each other" wasn't enough for my overprotective, aggressive parent of a mom. struggling with anxiety, ocd and fear of fears, I know EVERY FEAR I've dealed with for the last 3 years, what makes me calm and what triggers me, and my mom only knows about 2 fears that I've outgrown bc fear of fears, is a real b**** and gives new fears to me every two weeks. lovely, right? and she thinks she knows me. she doesn't even know what my favorite movie is!! for crying out loud.

also me : *nods, holding the tears back and says* okay. well, I'm going to my room now.

mom : okay. good night. I love you.

me : *turning away from her and walking out the dining area, voice cracks as tears start to flood my eyes* I love you too. good night.

mom : are you okay?

me : *shouts from the hallway, lies* yup. I'm okay.

me : *walks into my room, closes the door, stares at my unrecognizable room, my once safe place, my now, torture chamber. I break. tears roll of my waterline and race down my cheeks, "I can't do this" echos in my mind. I grab a stuffed animal from the shelf and face plant onto my bed. and silently ugly cry. telling myself, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and I can do this, I'm stronger than this. I can get through this. I believe it less and less with each hour that ticks by. eventually my body gives up, and I fall asleep. only to face these thoughts again in the morning, bc my safe place isn't safe anymore.

this is my life from the time I could talk to now. I'm 19¾ today.

[nikkistrations]

Corporate Slave

A/N:  And so his first day begins

Chapter Two

Genji clutches his jacket tighter around himself as he trudges through the glass doors of The Sweet Indulgence after school. Though the shirt is a light burgundy in color, the fact that it’s a work uniform in and of itself is humiliating to him. He hurriedly walks through the employee entrance to the back, groaning softly to himself as he glances over at the aprons and visors and takes off his jacket to hang on a hook.

His face contorts in detestation as he has a mental battle with himself over whether or not he really has to wear the apron and visor. He’s about to grab his jacket and head back out the door when it opens, nearly hitting him.

“Watch it,” he spits, glaring down at Erin who was rushing in.

She looks up at him in surprise before her look of mild shock turns to a smile. “You’re a bit early for your shift, Genji. I didn’t think you were so excited to be working with us.” He scoffs in response as she steps fully through her door, closing it behind her while shrugging off her coat. Hanging it up next to his, she pulls down an apron.

She looks up at him while tying the pink apron over her tuscany yellow work shirt. She motions to the wall of pink aprons and tells him he’ll be needing one of them and one of the matching visors. Genji cringes as he grabs one down, slipping it over his head before lazily securing it around his waist. His frown only deepens as he pulls a matching pink visor over his bright green hair.

Erin looks up at him again after adjusting her own visor. Her eyes light up for a moment as she turns around and snatches something off a magnetic board. She pins one to her apron before grabbing another and handing it to him. It’s a nametag, oval in shape, colored the same shade of Erin’s shirt. On it is printed ‘Genji’, the j and i dotted with hearts. God, this is embarrassing.

With another soft groan, he reluctantly takes it from her and puts it on.

“And with that, you’re an official member of the team. Welcome aboard, newbie.” A new voice from behind him called. Genji turns around to see a teen he doesn’t know.

The boy is just a touch taller than him, neat black hair, and dark blue eyes behind simple glasses frames. A pretty plain-looking guy. For sure someone Genji would expect to find working at a place like this.

“I’m Riku. From the looks of it, we’ll be working most of our shifts together. So, if you have any questions and Erin is unavailable, you can come to me.”

“Hi, Riku! Has it been very busy today?” Erin asks their coworker.

Genji easily drowns them out as they talk about work. A skill he’s perfected during the many work meetings he’s been dragged along to, he lets his thoughts wander to how long he’ll be here, what kind of hell has his father dropped him in, and such.

“Well, that’s perfect.” Erin’s voice drags him out of his thoughts. “Do you think you can man the front line while I show Genji how things work? I wanna go ahead and show him how to make our products.” Riku nods in confirmation, moving back to the registers to take care of a new customer.

Genji becomes more aware of his work surroundings when Erin specifically calls out to him. She now has to show him where each product is stored, how they’re stores, and how to make them. He doesn’t look very enthused – and he’s not – as Erin shows him the specifics of the walk-in freezer. Everything has its own place to be in. There are charts to show how each box of cookie dough is to be stored, stacks of frozen cupcakes and notes on how each of them should be thawed, not to mention buckets and buckets of icing, cans of whipped cream, and so much stuff he doesn’t bother to remember. He’ll find them when he needs them, and if he can’t he’s sure little compliant Erin will be more than happy to help.

He watches as his much smaller – both in height and build – shift manager drags a forty-pound box of cookie dough off of the middle shelf, nearly falling once there’s nothing but her arms under it. A small chuckle escapes him at the sight, and he suddenly finds the box in his hands. He doesn’t find it to be that heavy, but he’s got several years of training to thank for that. A second forty-pound box is added on top of the first and Erin asks he take them out to the work space.

Being the show-off that he is, he laughs that he can easily carry a third box. But alas, Erin isn’t tall enough to stack on another one. She shoos him out of the freezer instead. He drops the boxes of cookie dough on the work table that takes up most of the walking room behind the counter and waits for Erin to join him to continue with his job training.

Riku turns around from helping the last customer at the moment and offers a smile. “I know it’s just your first day, but are things alright so far?”

“These uniforms are hideous…” Riku laughs at that. Of all the things he could complain about, the first thing is the uniforms.

“Only on us, it seems. The girls are pretty cute in theirs,” is the young man’s response. His eyes fall on Erin as she comes in from the back and drops another box of cookie dough on the counter. It was clearly a struggle for her, but she quickly rights herself and hurries across the room to grab three metal trays.

Genji takes this moment to really look at her. Riku’s right. At the very least, the girl’s yellow shirt doesn’t clash so harshly as the boys’ burgundy do with the aprons. It looks cute on her, and it probably will be on his other female coworkers. Surprising as it may be, he never thought to really look at her or the girls that were working when he first stopped in.

. . . pieces of him are already dying. . .

The trays are now on the table in front of him, lined with parchment paper, accompanied by color-coded scoops, bowls of toppings, and a box of gloves. Erin has already pulled on a pair of medium gloves and motions for him to take a pair.

“You have to wear gloves when handling the product. And you generally have to change them between types as some are messier than others. And… don’t use the same gloves you used to handle raw product to handle cooked product. That’s cross contamination and will get us in a lot of trouble.”

She goes on to explain the flavors of cookie dough they dragged out, as well as where to look to know what color scoop to use, what topping – if any – to put on them, and for how long to cook them for. It’s all a lot of work, there are a lot of charts, a lot of specifics, none of which he wants to bother himself with. His shift manager won’t let him slack off, though.

Erin looks over at the tray of cookies Genji’s scooping. She quickly swoops in to explain that his placement of them is no good. If he puts that many so close together, they’ll cook into each other and won’t be usable. He sighs and glances over at her tray, rearranging his few to imitate hers. His aren’t perfectly flat on the bottom like hers are, but that doesn’t seem to bug her too much.

Once the cookies are scooped and in the oven, he takes the boxes of dough and drags them back to the freezer, once again laughing at Erin’s struggle to lift even a single box.

She tries to teach him to frost cupcakes next, and he proves to be terrible at it. She tries to instruct him on the proper way to hold the icing bag; he shrugs her off instead. She ends up having to nudge him aside to take over, frosting the cupcakes quickly, fixing his sloppy decorating, and then handing them to him to put in the display case. Riku takes over in showing him how to place them while Erin sets up the next task. Genji drops a few, making a mess of icing and squashed cupcake on the floor. He could care less, he made sure to wear his least favorite pair of shoes, but he can see the twitch of a cringe in Riku’s smile and Erin’s look of worry.

His first day doesn’t go great, all in all. By the time they need to close he’s tired, far crankier than he arrived, thoroughly embarrassed, and on the verge of losing the temper that he’s swallowed a majority of all day. The most he’s let slip is the tone and volume of his voice when he responded to Erin’s instructions and corrections. She flinched every time.

He’s supposed to be washing dishes with Erin and helping Riku wipe down the counters and tables as the day comes to its close. Cleaning just isn’t something he does. He decides to save himself from embarrassment by pretending he got an urgent text.

Erin falls for it easy enough. ��Oh no, my brother needs me, some important family business came up. I really gotta go,’ kind of deal. She frowns at first but offers him a small smile.

“Well, if it’s so important you probably ought to go. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

He rushes to remove his dirty apron – covered by cookie dough and icing by this point – and visor, exchanging them for his jacket. He quickly heads out of the store, then out of the mall.

“… you know that was a lie, right?” Riku turns to look at Erin through the back. She simply nods.

“Oh, I know. He’s had a rough first day, but he certainly won’t be leaving early tomorrow.”

[on-liberation]

Self Care is About the Little Things

Self Care is about the little things. I have been really stressed out this week, and honestly the 2 weeks before as well. I’m starting to have ideas about the way things have aligned to create this three week long buildup of events that led to this week, but that’s for another time. 

I wanna talk about self care, but like for real. Not the foo foo self care stuff that’s only surface level and reactionary, like having been struggling emotionally, financially, and/or mentally for the last few weeks, months, or years, and then somebody tells you to do a face mask. And I don’t mean the big, periodic, but intentional self care things either, like meditating, praying, venerating, etc. on a full moon or a new moon. No, I mean the self care you can do every day or week. The little things that refill your power bar moment by moment as it gets drained by the world outside of us.

I mean going on a short, 30 minute walk after your lunch. What if you don’t have an hour-long lunch? Valid. I mean coming home to a messy apartment because your apartment had bed bugs so you had to move to a hotel for 2 weeks and the day you got back (and spent the day moving back 2 weeks’ worth of clothes and toiletries, plus all the many items that would be ruined while your apartment gets heated up to 150 degrees to crisp all the bedbugs–sorry, I digress). After dumping all your things in your apartment, you had to pack for a trip to Catalina Island for Valentine’s Day. Then, when you get back to your apartment full of shit from your hotel stay, you throw your multiple luggage bags down and have to work your full time job. You come home, already tired from working full time, to an apartment that is, quite literally, a shitshow (okay, no shit but you get what I mean). 

I don’t know about you, but when my space is messy, my life is messy. I had so much cleaning and organizing and laundry to do, and when I was at work, I had so much emailing, scheduling, and planning to do. I decided to write down the long list of things I needed to get done at home: unpack all my suitcases, put away all my laundry, put toiletries away, put away all my spiritual supplies, etc. Plus, “rearrange the kitchen, rearrange the bathroom, rearrange the closet.” (When I go in, I go in.) Looking at this huge list of things to do can be overwhelming, but I realize I have to get it out of my head, and on to something I can visualize and tackle one-by-one. Plus, I love crossing things out.

Back to what you’d do if you didn’t have an hour lunch and you just came back from bed bugs and an island trip: You’ve got a lot of things on your to-do list, and maybe some of these things are space renovations. Well, if you were me last night, you would have gone grocery shopping to have an excuse (albeit a reasonable one) to be in the kitchen, because that’s been a space on your list for a minute. You play your favorite album, artist, or playlist that gets you through it (mine is When I Get Home followed by A Seat at the Table, both by Solange) while you put the groceries away and you wash the literal pile of dishes on your sink and stove. (Don’t judge me, I know you’ve been there.) With this good music and being able to visibly see mess disappear, you start to get in a little groove, “What can I do next? How else can I make some mess disappear without too much exertion?” You turn to your messy pantry. You’re getting rid of things you ain’t have no business continuing to hold onto, you put all your seasonings back on one, easily accessible shelf, you reorganize your snacks and ingredients so they make sense and are efficient with space. Hell, you might even spend a few minutes reconfiguring the arrangement of a fruit basket and cereal boxes. You’re in a nice funk! You love that this album/artist/playlist always helps you recenter and find peace (Thank you, Solange). 

You’ve now spent a good part of your evening rearranging and cleaning one thing at a time. You may not have busted out the Clorox and scrubbed every crevice, but you got that pantry looking good again! You finally cleared off the kitchen table that was really just the “I don’t know where else to put this shit” table (same for the top of the microwave). You finally did something with them cardboard and storage boxes in the corner. You step back and marvel at your work. You think, “I actually want to be in this kitchen now!” You have two candles on your table and your favorite album/artist/playlist playing, and you decide to finally sit down and write your first blog post, something you’ve been wanting to do for a while, but didn’t know how to start, and didn’t make time for it. 

But you did this time. After a shitty week, and a shitty 2 weeks before that. The rest of your apartment may still be a shitshow, but at least your bed is clear and your kitchen looks nice. It’s the little things out of this grand event of life. It’s going step by step. That’s self care.

[jveleno]

89 jo/nate :o (any universe u want)

89. “You’re not interested, are you?”

There’s no Nate for a week and a half, which Jo kind of misses. Like he gets that no one needs to get new hockey equipment every single week, but he’d gotten used to Nate’s weekly visits to the shop to poke at the sticks or the skates or the protective equipment. It’s a little boring without him. Jo rearranges the whole elbow and shin pads section and places another order with Bauer, and he then hangs out by the counter until it’s time to close.

He’s getting ready to close the shop today, just straightening up the display of goalie pads, when the door opens.

“Hey.” Nate slides into Jo’s sight, flushed and breathless. He looks nervous or excited or a combination of both. “I was hoping to catch you.”

Jo smiles at him, feeling stupidly giddy. He hopes he doesn’t look it. “Let me guess, you broke your stick again.”

“What? Oh. No, not the stick.” Nate pulls two tickets from his jacket pocket. “I got tickets to a Mooseheads playoff game, if you wanna go.”

Damn, a playoff game. Jo’s definitely interested. “Oh? When?”

“Tomorrow night, actually.”

Jo opens his mouth and then closes it.

Nate shuffles a little. “Sorry, I should’ve given you more time to think, you’re probably busy—”

“Is this a date?” Jo demands. “Are you asking me out?”

Nate looks like a fish caught out of water. “Uh. Kind of. I’ve been uh, working my way up to it.”

“You came all the way here. To ask me on a date.” Jo straightens another set of goalie pads, and the blockers displayed on the shelf above.

When Nate speaks, he sounds pretty let down. “You’re not interested, are you? That’s um, that’s okay. No pressure, I can give the tickets to a friend—”

“No, I’m—I am. Interested.” There’s no more equipment to fiddle around with, so Jo straightens and looks at Nate. “I just suddenly thought about the fact that you’ve spent like $2000 at this store over the last couple weeks. Was that—Did you really need those elbow pads? Or the $800 skates, or the like ten sticks you bought, or any of the other stuff?”

The silence is very awkward, and Nate’s face is very red. He shrugs with only one shoulder and looks somewhere to the left of Jo’s face.

Jo’s mouth turns up in an involuntary grin, more than a little bit smug. “I can’t believe you. Pick me up at 6, okay?”

Drabble Challenge

[nathansside]

thanks for the tags! @chuuy-a @glittercrashhh

nickname: i don't have any nicknames, i just go by Finn

zodiac sign: Aries! 🐏

height: around 5'5"/165 cm

last movie i saw: damn, it might be twilight, i don't watch lots of movies and my roommates forced me to watch this

last thing i googled: "gustav vigeland mother" we had to analyze a sculpture in school

fav musicians: hmm, Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, Jeremy Zucker and Cavetown

song stuck in my head: every day it's a different song, but the last one i remember is 'changing of the season' by two door cinema club

other blogs: @finns-space all the bsd stuff is there

blogs following: 19 I- i thought there was more ppl ¡-¡

sleep pattern: around midnight to 7 am, so i hit like 7 hours daily

lucky number: 10 for some reason

what am i wearing: oversized t-shirt and shorts (classic in home outfit)

what would i do if capitalism didn't exist: travel the world, help others that's for sure (i mean i know u can make living out of helping others in some way, but i don't think that i can go the conventional way)

dream trip: the is a small island next to Tokyo that can be called 'a natural observatory' I JUST WANNA WATCH THE STARRY SKY

fav food: MILKY CHOCOLATE (also my comfort food)

instruments i play: i can play the guitar (like basics, but pretty okay) and i might learn how to play bass, we will see

languages i speak: polish (native tongue), english and im learning german

fav song: okay, so i can't pick one, but two that are really high up there are 'if the world was ending' by JP Saxe and Julia Micheals and 'you wrote don't forget on your arm' by flatsound

random fun facts: i play basketball and am pretty up to date with NBA news, i really like making things (like skateboard shelf, coloring a wooden box, we can also add rearranging my room to this) and i can skateboard a little!

tags: @schirises @chuuyasboots + anyone who wants to join!

20 questions tag

hello!! i was tagged in this by @aqua-girl-4ever so thank you for the tag!

Nickname: ezzy! or banana if yall are into that ig

Zodiac Sign: cancer. i am crabbo

Height: 5'10" i think?? maybe 5'9"??

Last Movie I Saw: in theaters i think was Frozen 2 but in general the last movie i watched was Vertigo

Last Thing I Googled: ‘how to sleep’ for my friend so they stop texting me at fucking one in the morning about their insomnia

Favorite Musician: don’t have one! i don’t listen to a whole lot of music other than show tunes or disney songs but i think just about every song i hear is a good song. but also Freddie Mercury.

Song Stuck In My Head: surprisingly it’s actually kinda quiet in my head right now, but Maybe This Time from Cabaret and Maybe from Annie are both kind of floating around somewhere in the back

Other Blogs: none babeyyy y’all get everything here. one stop shop.

Blogs Following: i just follow back people who follow me. so. y’all can check that list if you’re interested.

Sleep Patterns: as of now it’s usually about 3-4am to 2pm. i always wake up at 2 because i have an alarm but i can fall asleep basically anywhere between 3 and 5 am

Lucky Numbers: 8 and 28 but not 18. also i hate the numbers 7 and 10

What Am I Wearing: my jammies! which aren’t actually jammies just comfy clothes. kk slider socks, black leggings, undies, and a big t-shirt

What Would I Do If Capitalism Didn’t Exist?: fucking live man. go places. be happy. but if we’re talking careers i would kill to be, like, a mattress tester or smth. i just like to rest

Dream Trip: y’all i live in ohio just get me out of here and i’m happy. but i’ve always wanted to go to norway, or somewhere in south america

Favorite Food: nearest. but also strawberries and pasta. not together tho

Instruments I Play: uh… i was a percussionist in band in middle school so… drums, and i also play handbells and sing. and also i played piano for like two years but i never practiced so i don’t know how to play piano

Languages I speak: English. and i studied Spanish for like four years but it was also in the american public school system so we all know what kind of quality that had, and i’ve tried duolingo just so many times and never gotten past a certain point

Favorite Songs: pretty much anything i listen to! i’m not big on rap and things like that bc i have auditory processing issues and can’t understand what they’re saying but if i can understand it i usually like it

Random Facts About Me: ooh um… i have chronic hiccups, i just chopped off a lot of my hair for charity, i have a cat, and i have a lot of weird ancestors/relatives

tagging @etchedstars @primordialsoupy @imperatrixtumby

[glynnisi]

Personal stuff...

so, anniversary trip was a delight (tho there was too much walking/over 30 miles, per phone)... lazy mornings in bed, lots of good wine, beautiful sites, hubs gave me silver earrings fr Tiffany (!), amazing food, a trip of a lifetime, PARIS

I’m still laughing over the “Wanna See My Eiffel Tower?” Condoms in one souvenir shop

it’ll take months to recover my kitchen fr my mom-in-law’s rearranging (she’s a foot taller than I am... I know the bowl stacks were precarious, but moving most to the 3rd shelf is NOT the solution, Hon)... and, seriously, interesting that you like our old plates so much more than our new plates that you removed both stacks from cabinet and put old plates on top, really???... and, did you spend the entire time the kids were in school rearranging my pots & pans? *headdesk*

I mis-stepped and had a fall, so the lower cabinet recovery will have to wait. knee hurts. :P

charity walk work is done for the year, thank the gods, and it was a big success... pondering my future w the group, trying to figure out what I want to do and CAN do, given parent care & older son’s busier schedule since starting high school & more sports

Oh, yeah.  95 yr old dad fell while I was away and broke 2 ribs... and son learned NOT to leave a text that only says “have you heard about Papa?” :O And my parents are kind of exhausting.

14 yr old son asked a girl to homecoming... and my internet friendship chicks are coming home to roost, since it turns out they mostly know each other from Snapchat (tho she goes to his school & sort of friends w a girl I know fr his old school)... and I’m trying to stay cool but am kind of shook in a weird way... I mean, Yay! He’s growing up. And she said yes.  I just didn’t realize he was THERE and that they’ve been chatting for months.  Am I not attentive enough as a mom? But it’s cool that they’ve gotten to know each other, like pen pals-ish?  But am I missing more? and I’m keeping it all on the inside in front of him and trying not to let neuroses show (parenting!).... wondering how friendly vs how romantic... and reminding self I trust him & his judgment... and, and, and... ;) :P

anyway, that’s what’s up.... How are you? ;)

[rumpleteazuh]

Your OTP

(honestly was struggling to pull on my otp for cats so lmao ur getting mungo and munk cause i love it)-who accidentally pushes a pull door open & vice versa: mungo hardcore, he also consistently walks into doors because he just doesn't pay attention to where he's going-who doodles little hearts all over the inside of the desk with their initials in: m u n k. he may seem super serious (which as tribe protector is probs for the best) but he's such a goof for mungo-who starts tickle fights: we all know it would be mungo-who starts pillow fights: also mungo lmao what a child-who falls asleep last, watching the other with an affectionate smile: munk cause 1. he hardly sleeps because he gotta she alert for prime protecting opportunities and 2. mungo is a small sleepy child (who also snores hardcore pray for munk who can't sleep because of the snoring)-who mistakes salt for sugar: i wanna say mungo but honestly???? munk when he's super sleepy, and mungo laughs at him every time for it-who lets the microwave beep at one am: mungo, and if munk has managed to fall asleep this wakes him and he gets p i s s e d-who comes up with cheesy pick up lines: munk lmao (he picked up the worst from tugger) and mungo hates it-who rearranges the book shelf in alphabetical order: munk, everything has an order (mungo is a bit more chill in that sense, but knows not to mess with anything munk has in order from past experience)-who licks the spoon when baking brownies: mungo-who buys candles for dinner even though there's no special occasion: honestly??? both of them they are cuties-who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen: munk when he's daydreaming and is meant to be writing serious stuff down lmao-who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every fine they come on vacation: mungo and he makes sure to pick the ugliest one he can find-who convinces the other to fill out couple questionnaires in the back of magazines: mungo when he's bored, but munk gets invested in the results of the questionnaires