#i just wanna have it again and absorb the art style lol

[pinayelf-archive]

people you want to get to know better

tagged by @mybookswerealltome ❤️ thank you so much 🥰

Last song: Talk that Talk by TWICE

Currently watching: I finished Obsession (lol that was...a lot) and I'm about to start season 2 of Barbarians

Currently reading: still stuck on A Proposal They Can't Refuse by Natalie Caña 😭 I will get to it, I also want to study some art books

Current obsession: 1. Dragon Age always lol 2. The Little Mermaid live action 😭❤️ I fell in love with the movie but that was a given

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If you see this feel free to do it ❤️

[hawkinasock]

Really wanna try drawing my ocs that I made for Yanqing, but I dont know how to draw. I also dont want to pester my friends (and cousin) with my Yanqing brainrot, so all of my ideas are repressed lol, how do i copeee 😭😭

I'm not the best at giving advice, especially because I'm still improving as an artist myself, but whenever I can't get my brain to work properly, sometimes I'll go to picrew.me and mess around with the customizations.

Picrew is like the modern Doll Divine. The options are usually pretty limited, but I'd argue it's a good starting point/boost to get whatever character you've had rotating in your head out and into a state that you can actually visualize. Because of the limits of picrew, the character may also change when you attempt to draw them, and when that happens, you can put in your own flair into that design that makes it more distinct.

For tips on how to improve your artistic skills, as basic as it is, look for beginner art tutorials. There's not exactly one be-all end-all solution I or anyone else can give to help, because everyone learns differently. Everyone has different styles and personal quirks in the way that they create that's unique to them, and it's when you're still developing your skills that it's the hardest to figure that out. So, when you're in this stage, the one thing I can suggest to any beginner is to just experiment, and experimenting is the messiest stage in my opinion.

When I was still starting out, I actually did a lot of tracing, mainly with mlp bases. I consider it a rite of passage for every beginning artist to try out a deviantart base when they're still at a point where they can't draw that style on their own, a canon event even. I actually think it's beneficial. While learning through guidance should not be disregarded, and tracing should never become a permanent crutch, learning through hand-holding is helpful in its own ways. Doing this with multiple different art styles can also help navigate your own style. If you find yourself stuck in own medium, it wouldn't hurt to explore other artistic mediums that aren't limited to a pencil or paper. There's a ton of ways to express your ideas in an artistic way, it all depends on if it calls to you.

Every art style is a beautiful mish mash of different styles and aesthetics that a person has observed over their lifetime and absorbed throughout their development, and there never comes a point where you stop absorbing those concepts. Even professional artists' styles may change over time, and you can see that in their work. It goes to show that even when it seems like you've made it as an artist, you never stop learning, and by extension, you never stop changing.

Again, I can't say what method will work best for everyone, because it's not all the same across the board. I'm just recommending what's worked for me and sharing my own experience over the years. I know it all feels very daunting, and maybe like you're improving at a snails pace, but every new thing you learn is a milestone in and of itself. When you look at what you've made now and compare it to what you made yesterday, or six months ago, or years ago, that improvement can be genuinely astounding and serve as a motivator.

Hopefully you found something helpful in all my blabbering. I wish you luck in your artistic endeavors, anon <3

(p.s. if you ever have an image of your oc, feel free to send it, and also do I have permission to draw them?)

[dickpuncherdraws]

hi :) first off I just want to say I love your art so much. second i wanted to ask you if you have any tips for drawing figures - I'm trying to learn right now and having trouble with proportions and whatnot. like did you have to study anatomy to get where you are now? it seems really daunting and i dont really know where to start. any advice would be welcome. again I just really love your style and the way you draw people so I wanted to ask! :)

ahh thank u so much!! and i’m gonna be honest with u, i’ve never really actively studied anatomy or anything, most of my knowledge comes from just absorbing things and making observations over the years lol.

i have taken some figure drawing classes in the past though (like. twice) and that’s always good practice. of course with covid that’s not rlly an option rn, but there are a lot of free figure drawing websites that u can visit (i usually use croquis café, they have pictures as well as videos if u wanna do timed figure drawings)

one thing i do a lot of tho is referencing myself! if i can’t quite visualize how smth should look, i’ll go pose in the mirror and make note of how things look. taking pictures of yourself (or other ppl if u have someone willing to pose for u) is also a completely valid option. i often take pictures of my hands in the specific angle/pose that i need to use as reference.

other than that tho a lot of it is just practice (the cursed word), but also paying attention to the world around u! i have my Artist Brain switched on almost all the time and am constantly taking note of what the people around me look like, how they look when they’re sitting, when they’re standing, the proportions of their bodies, etc. just being observant and making conscious mental notes of things helps a lot in my experience. over time you’ll internalize all these observations and then it’ll all sort of become second nature when ur drawing.

i’m certainly not the best example when it comes to studying anatomy or anything, but i hope this helps u out somewhat!

[dog-teeth]

so did you actively develop your art style or did it just happen?

it just Happens usually by seeing another persons art and absorbing it into my value of aesthetics like what i think is good art that id like to make, i make a mental note of what i like about it and maybe think about how i could apply their techniques to my own art, and then my art just sorta Happens. it definitely isn’t an active process for me but there are some conscious and subconscious elements to it, again just based on what i value aesthetically and what mood im in for the art i wanna make. im not even sure i Have an art style lol

[tiliamericana]

Muay Thai: 1.04

Read From Start | Read Ahead | Home Site

It was amazing just how quickly Nairi got used to waking up and finding texts from Cherry waiting for her.

Cherry seemed to be up and on at all hours of the day; she was awake in the morning well before Nairi’s eleven o’clock alarm, but also worked well into the small hours of the night and put in long hours at the day job. Nairi had managed to ascertain that it had something to do with art—Cherry had strong opinions on grades of paper (something about absorbency), colour theory (people were stupid), watercolours (they were bad), and on the one occasion she’d come upstairs had informed Nairi that her walls were driving her mad and that she’d be painting something to stop the encroaching insanity.

When she wasn’t inserting herself into Nairi’s life she was sending Nairi pictures and selfies with her other friends; grad students with brightly coloured hair, a grinning bartender showing off his flair, baking with a short woman in glasses. And now this:

C: youre closed on tues y/y?? C: which means yourf free tonight right?

Nairi sent her back a quick “yes” and set her phone down before pulling herself out of bed to face the day. Not opening the dojo meant she was able to take a little longer with her morning, but she still preferred to do her prayers before she had to think about anything else, and Cherry was prone to showing up if Nairi indicated she had free time. Which she apparently had a lot more of than she realised.

Maybe she should look for a new style to start training in. This was the first time she hadn’t been focused on a new one since she�� Well, for a while.

When she came back upstairs her phone was lit up again. Maybe Cherry had ideas about lunch? It would mean she’d have a reason to go out and eat something.

C: great!! C: dn you wanna come out tonight?? dinner C: on me if i need to sweeten it ;) edies just moved back fr work and if its just me her and nick im go6na die from them being old folks who disapprove all night C: also i keep talking about you at nick and he wants to meet you lol

Nairi had initially assumed ‘Nick’ was Cherry’s father, just based on the way she talked about him. But then Cherry had mentioned her father later, just calling him ‘Dad’, so maybe he wasn’t? Either that, or she was very discreet about their being gay. Or she just went back and forth between ‘Dad’ and ‘Nick’ arbitrarily. ‘Edie’ on the other hand was a name Cherry had mentioned in passing once and then never again, so Nairi had concluded she was one of the colourful grad students. Apparently not.

She sent back a “sure”, and then after a moment, asked for a place and time.

C: yay!! thank you!! C: its this fckn italian place edie loves but theres a ok bar so not all bad C: edies fatal allergic to being on time but nickll be 7 minutes early

The next message was a sticker, a little pair of eyes rolling across her phone screen when she opened it.

C: meet at 7? C: i checked the menu has good veg C: pasta heavy but good :p

Nairi smiled a little at that and sent her another “yes”. After a moment she added a “thank you”. Cherry sent her back three hearts, and Nairi put her phone down to go and get some lunch.

She didn’t think anything of it until she showed up at the restaurant. Cherry had driven and was already parked, leaning against the side of her obnoxious little two door to wait. It was bright red and nearly vintage, and she’d obviously put a lot of care into it. Nairi had half expected vanity plates, but they were a normal registration.

Nairi waved as she approached and Cherry visibly perked up with a wide, glossy smile, waving back. Cherry had dressed up a little nicer—dark skinny jeans and a pretty sleeveless shirt with a modest v-neck. The heavy Docs were gone, traded for heeled ankle boots, and she had delicate pearl bob earrings to match her golden cross. Not a paint spatter in sight.

“Hi,” she said as Nairi drew to a halt just out of arm’s reach. “Didn’t we pick an interesting night to go out?”

“We sure did,” said Nairi, her brow furrowing as she looked past Cherry to the road between them and the restaurant. “What the hell is going on?”

The stretch of asphalt was filled with a flock of young adults, all of them shirtless, yelling along together in an incomprehensible chant as they ran up and down between two unmarked points on the road. They were arguably being directed; a young woman with a reflective coat and a manic grin, holding a megaphone in one hand and an airhorn in the other, was standing on a shopping cart in the middle. Standing next to her on the ground, was another woman in reflective orange with a clipboard.

Judging by the amount of honking and the lack of anything resembling city signage, this wasn’t an official event.

Cherry glanced down at her phone as one of the women held up the airhorn to the megaphone. Charitably she waited for Nairi’s ears to stop ringing before she spoke. “Flo did a round on the facebook pages—apparently it’s some dorm flash mob from a hall at her college.”

“Which one’s Flo? Did she have the blue hair?” asked Nairi as she lowered her hands from her head and gladly pulled her attention away from a panting eighteen-year-old who had something pink painted on his heaving chest.

“Nah that’s Mason, he’s finishing up his sociology honours. Flo has the green hair, she’s doing her psych PhD,” said Cherry, craning her neck to look around Nairi. “Nick’s here! Right on time, like I said.”

She started waving, and Nairi turned to see the tallest man she’d ever seen waving back across at them. She raised an eyebrow, the muscles in her forearms tensing, and she tried not to feel too uneasy about it.

Cherry hummed happily, picking herself up from where she was leaning on the car door and reaching in through the open window to grab a thin cardigan from the seat. “Oh, and just a heads up,” she said casually, “Nick like, really hates it when people call me Cherry, it’ll probably be better if you just use my real name in front of him.”

Nairi opened her mouth to remind her that she’d never actually gotten around to saying what the was exactly, but Cherry was already halfway across the lot towards the man. “Nick!” she called out as she approached, closing the distance and leaning up on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his shoulders.

He said something to her, pausing to hug her back before continuing over to Nairi. He drew to a halt next to her while Cherry returned to perching against her car. “You must be Nairi,” he said, voice alarmingly deep, hand outstretched. “Linden’s told me so much about you.”

Nairi took his hand and shook it once before dropping it, resisting the urge to take a step back once she’d done so. “Likewise. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Nicholas was close to seven feet tall and probably in his late fifties or very early sixties if she was any judge. His hair had landed firmly in the ‘grey’ zone just past salt-and-pepper, though he’d managed to keep rather a lot of it, close cropped in a very standard short back and sides. He had broad shoulders and a carefully ironed shirt that looked worn but cared for. He had a firm grip, muscle swelling ever so slightly in the lines of his shirt, and there was a furrow in his brow that made him look deeply concerned about something.

Though, from what she’d learned being friends with Cherry—Linden—if she were an older adult in her life she’d probably be deeply concerned as well. Or maybe it was the students.

“Do either of you know what’s going on here?” he asked after a moment, nodding at the crowd.

“Youthful hijinks keeping us from our dinner,” said Linden, grinning easily. She’d released some of the tension in her shoulders since Nicholas’s arrival, but at the same time seemed a little more on edge, like she was anticipating something. She took a deep, exaggerated breath, and pushed her hands into her jean pockets. “Do you know what that smell is?”

Nairi exchanged a faintly puzzled look with Nicholas, though his looked a little more exasperated. “Cheap beer?” she tried.

Linden sniggered. “Yeah, we called it ‘Eau de Freshie’ when I was in school,” she said, tossing her head to give the students behind them a speculative, almost mean look. They were still yelling enthusiastically, and she gestured at them. “It’s no longer funny, anyway. How many of these assholes do you reckon I have to beat up to let us get through?”

“I’m sure it doesn’t need to come to that,” said Nairi, her mouth twitching a little at the side.

Nicholas shot her a grateful look. “From the looks of things someone has already called the police, I’m sure they’ll be dispersed presently,” he said with a nod towards a pissed off looking woman standing by the crosswalk, phone jammed up against her ear.

“The cops always take fucking forever,” complained Linden, running a hand through her hair, foot tapping impatiently. “Come on Nick, you actually like, made a reservation and now we’re gonna miss it.”

“Linden I’m reasonably certain the staff can see what’s happening from where they’re standing,” said Nicholas, irritation creeping into his tone. “A little patience will not kill you, please do not start a fistfight with a teenager.”

Linden grinned at him, stretching her arms out in front of her chest. “I’m like, pretty certain the one with the airhorn is at least twenty.”

“Linden.”

“Well, I mean,” said Nairi speculatively, eyeing the students. “All you really have to do is be flashier than them.”

One of the running students fell out of pitch with their friends, and someone complained in her peripheral. A car door slammed and there was the crunch of footsteps on gravel followed by a huff as someone else joined the spectators. Linden turned her grin back to Nairi. “Yeah? You got an idea?”

“Yeah,” said Nairi, stepping up to Linden and reaching past her into the car window.

The other items she wanted were on the front seat, and Linden’s grin only widened as Nairi pulled them out. The baseball bat was wooden and well used, with a long crack threatening to split it clean open and letter stickers in the world’s ugliest font spelling ‘LINDE’ down the length. There was a clean spot amongst the built-up grime under the ‘E’. The bottle of lighter fluid was about half full, and Nairi held the bat out in front of her to squirt the contents over it liberally, splattering the asphalt in front of them as she did so.

She reached around Linden, extending the same familiarity she’d been receiving from her for the last two weeks, and pulled the lighter out of her back pocket.

The bat lit up easily and Nairi twisted it around to hold it upright, offering it to Linden. Linden looked at her, wide eyed, and took the bat. She placed her other hand on Nairi’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. “You get me,” she said with warmth, before throwing her head back and cackling loudly, sprinting towards the crowd of students with the bat raised over her head.

Nicholas, next to her, made a faint, strangled noise. Behind her was a scoff and a loud voice. “Well. I’m guessing you must be Nairi.”

She turned and came face to face with an older woman in a rumpled men’s dress shirt and glasses who was glaring at her. She had red hair, natural as opposed to Linden’s box dye, and it was plaited out of the way to keep her tired face clear. Grey blue eyes stared down Nairi under her stern brow, and she uncrossed her arms to step forward into Nairi’s personal space. She was stocky and only a little shorter, barely having to raise her chin. “Just for reference,” she said, tone acerbic, “If I hear a single piece of news about young adult burn victims in the local urgent care facilities tomorrow? I will track you down and hold you personally responsible.”

She stepped away without waiting for an answer, glare sliding over to Nicholas. “You’re so right, Nicholas, I can see how much of a model presence she is,” she said in a way that even Nairi could read the sarcasm. “You remain a uniquely terrible judge of character.”

She strode across the street in the wake of Linden’s chaos. The students had mostly scattered with cheers and yells, and the girl with the megaphone was doubled over laughing in her shopping cart.

Nicholas was very slowly turning red, staring at Nairi with an unreadable expression. She coughed slightly and spun on one foot to follow the others across the street, trying to swallow her irritation at their judgement.

[polandspringz]

I’m sure you probably got asked this many times but what’s your rank of the brothers from most fav to least fav? Least fav doesn’t mean dislike but still a ranking :0 from your fics I get that Mammon might me in that top hehe

I don’t think I’ve actually been asked this before? But, either way, I have been waiting for someone to ask me about this! Although I’ve given my MC’s relationships on another post, (and a tiktok where I ranked the battle themes) I haven’t actually given my own personal ranking, so here we go!

1. Mammon- You knew this, he knew this. He’s our first, and I’m weak for characters that are the “bad boy, tsundere” type I guess. The devs and the writing team did an excellent job in creating his character because I opened the game a Lucifer stan and the moment Mammon softened I became a simp, lol. I also am a big fan of Osomatsu-san, so Mammon is very much the equivalent to Karamatsu, which is part of why I like him.

2. Belphegor- I know he’s a very controversial character to like, and I haven’t even finished chapter 16 yet, so how can he be my favorite? I ended up starting the game in the middle of an event, so while my MC was going around being like “Who is the seventh brother?” I meanwhile was talking him up in the side story (plus, I got spoiled by a crack guide on Youtube and then for fic research spoiled the time travel events for myself). I will say my opinion of him is somewhat changing as I witness him be more cruel and manipulative, but I honestly feel bad for this brother who was isolated for months from his family and was left to boil with the rage and hatred thinking it was because Lucifer hated him, but not knowing it was because Lucifer was trying to protect him. (That was one part that didn’t get spoiled for me, so when Diavolo walked in and did the “protect you from me” my jaw dropped) I’m also just slightly biased because I like reading fics of characters cuddling and when you have someone who is literally always sleeping, you can find a LOT of that.

3. Satan- The reason he’s number three is just because I am very drawn to the “academic” type of character. Overall, his bookish aesthetic I just really like, and his casual design I find very attractive. (I’m a fashion major so I’m very interested in what characters wear. Menswear, and in particular Ivy League style, I have a big appreciation for, so sweaters and such are big plus!) Also his character design looks a lot like Usui Takami from Maid-Sama, and my previous dating sim crush, Jiwoo from Dandelion. In terms of his character though, I admire his efforts to be his own person, and try and overcome his anger. I’m someone with some bad anger myself, so I connect to him a lot in his efforts to improve and control it.

4. Lucifer- Okay, so I really dislike a lot of aspects of Lucifer’s character, but I love how dedicated he is to his family and I feel so deeply for how he wants to completely bear the burden for the Celestial War on his own. It seems somewhat cliche to have a character that is full of pride be the most self-sacrificial, but I love that it was done in the way that he is secretly super humble and loves his family so much but because of that pride being a barrier, he can never express it. He’s obviously one of the most fleshed out characters in the game, but the devs did an excellent job making me feel for him and so I want to comfort him the most.

5. Levi- I was iffy about Levi until I saw a bunch of fan art of him by a certain artist (cough, cough, I don’t want to tag them and bother them but, cough cough, pon-ee) Although I find him a bit annoying with his Woahhhh and his self deprecating personality traits, I’ve learned to see the potential in him and would love to just, give him a hug or something? I’m sorry but my logic for liking him is honestly that he’s a weeb like me and we would probably bond really well over discussing shows and cosplay. (Also COOL TAIL) in all seriousness though, because of how I interpret each character in how I write them, when I was writing fics like “Cause You Don’t Really Wanna Go”, Levi’s scenes and feelings were very inspired by how a lot of people portray the younger Osomatsu brothers reacting to Karamatsu having depression and low self-esteem on behalf of their words and actions. What really drew me to his character was just the potential of him, and really all of the characters who beat each other up like siblings do, deep down having a very strong connection that they don’t ever want to be damaged, but then having that realization that they might have been the one to do it. Levi already has enough self-esteem issues, so I don’t want to say I like him because he’s such a sad character, but in those moments where he’s not sad and is happily gushing about things he likes and soaking up attention from MC and others, I find him a very attractive character personality wise.

6. Asmo- I feel bad putting Asmo so low because I do like him a lot! As you said, least favorite doesn’t mean dislike. What keeps me more distant from him is that I like him, but not romantically or with my MC. I really enjoyed writing the Solomon scene with him in “I’d Rather Be Dry”. Again, what really brings me closer to these characters is psychoanalyzing them in my own writing. I know there is more to his character than the typical, sexual lust, but because I’ve been playing the game so spaced out I feel like I haven’t absorbed as much as his character as I could have to appreciate it. I’m hoping I get to see more of his character in the future lessons, and his “lust” is taken in different directions besides just “cheerfulness’ and to more anger and protectiveness.

7. Beelzebub- I know a lot of people get mad that many people rank Beelzebub low for the writers making him “only/always hungry”, but that’s not why he’s this low on my ranking. I honestly like how a lot of fans take his character to be that his love/connection to MC distracts from the pain of his constant hunger, because his gluttony isn’t just for food. All of the sins are overindulgence, but it is nice to see them all come to this sort of singularity, away from individual desires, and connect as one because of the influence of one person bringing light into their life and re-establishing their family bonds. But, back to why he’s the last on my ranking, is it shallow to say he’s really just.. not my type? I feel bad because I try to give everyone equal screen time in my writing but I know Beel definitely gets less than my top four. I admire his dedication and care for his family but I just don’t find him that attractive. The emphasis on his athleticism and such I honestly don’t care much for, and he’s just a bit too of a warm/welcoming personality for me? I like seeing him defy Lucifer when he gets angry about Belphegor, but every other time, I just feel he is very complacent and too obedient. I don’t want to call him mindless, because he isn’t at all. I do love him, but like Asmo, it could be that replaying the first 20 lessons again (when I finish them) will make me connect to him more. For now though, I find him lacking in individuality, his character too dependent on Belphegor and Lilith’s story, and in the most shallow way possible, he’s just not my type. Sorry!

You probably weren’t expecting me to go on a tangent trying to justify each one, but this honestly took me like... 2 hours to write up. If the undateables were in here, it would be even longer though! Thank goodness you only asked for the brothers! (Although I would be happy to give my ranking on them too, and then my overall ranking on all the characters too...)

[familyagrestefanblog]

Peacock miraculous theory

Alright yall, the current state of the peacock miraculous, Mayura in general, Emilies coma and the damage it does/did to Natalie and Emilie has been wracking my brain FOR MONTHS but I think I’ve got something now

So buckel up folks, this is gonna get longer. Here we go

Lets start with the obvious question everybody had (and immediately dismissed as a mistake) in ���Mayura”. Why did the miraculous look different and what does it mean

There is alot to unpack here, so first things first.

Simplified answer: in the first picture Duusu is IN the miraculous and in the lower she’s OUT of it.

“But how can Duusu be IN the miraculous, nobody is wearing it!” I hear you asking and of course I’ll explain. What I believe is that the way we saw the peacock in “Mayura” came to be because Duusu was renounced, meaning she was put into the miraculous without anyone wearing it to conceal her or something like that. This already happened before, first time when Marinette and Adrien opened their miraculous boxes

Plagg and Tikki are already in their Miraculous and power them up and only come out to face their new holders. Also nice little touch, the ring starts glowing first because Plaggs a hungry little shit with no patience to get cheese lol

But the second time this happened is the one I wanna focus on. In “the Collector” when Gabriel detransformed to akumatize himself.

These are the two forms of the butterfly (or any miraculous for that matter) that we know of but when Hawkmoth detransformed back into Gabriel to become the Collector, Gabriel did something interestin. He renounced Nooroo. Then this happened

The miraculous turned back into its “active form” even though Gabriel wasnt wearing it and stayed that way when he put it away.

Meaning yes, the peacock miraculous we saw in “Mayura”makes perfect sense when Duusu was simply renounced.

Next.

I dont have a smooth transition for thisbut stay with me, I need to explain this first. Why does Mayura/Natalie look so different from the other holders and the way Duusu and the miraculous damage her (and Emilie)

As everyone hopefully noticed by now, Mayuras design looks very different from the other miraculous holder. Everybody (including ancient holders) looks like they are “wearing” their powers (suiting up) but Mayura looks like she’s possessing the power, the way the akuma victims do. No I#m not about to tell you that mayura is akumatized, what I’m saying is that Natalie absorbes Duusu as Mayura.

Okay please hear me out

A while ago someone from the ml crew leaked official concept arts and included was Mayuras

as you can see, even though Mayura is tranformed here she’s oddly still wearing the “inactive form”. The miraculous doesn’t fit to the color scheme the way every other does and it has 9 feathers instead of the normal number 5 that is also present in every other miraculous (because of the timer). So yeah, its the normal form.

So what I believe is that since the peacock miraculous is broken, it cant absord Duusu anymore while transforming the holder. Its “leaking” as to say. It can hold Duusu when shes being renounced (as seen in “Mayura”) but once a holder is involved? The power/Duusu go straight through the miraculous right into the person.

Which is why the person using the miraculous becomes so incredibly sick andeven falls into a coma. A human being is not meant to absorb the power of a Kwami. As Astruc said himself Kwamis are GODS, humans needed the jewlery to be able to “use” the Kwamis because they are just THAT powerful (flashback to Plaggs little Cataclysm in “Style Queen” that fucking BROKE 90% of Paris or him being the reason the dinosaurs went extinct)

So we have an explaination for what happened and is currently happening to Emilie and Natalie but thats not everything I have for this point! I also believe that Duusu herself somehow got sick. For this I dont have alot to work with (because of the little screentime Mayura and her miraculous had up until now and 0 scene AT ALL for Duusu herself) but what we have leaves me a bit perplex, starting with Duusus design.

Duusu is the ONLY Kwami whose colors do not fit to the real life animal. Look t this and see what i mean

THIS is not how a peacock looks like, where th is the pink coming from? If Duusu were accurate like every other Kwami (purple butterflies exist, so even Nooroo is accurate even though purple isnt the first color that comes into your mind when you think of butterflies. Its close in my case tho) she would be green instead of pink! But you know what? The green is actually there, let m show you something

In negative Duusus peacock green is there, which lets me believe that Duusu turned pink because shes sick (keep in mind that the show often works with negative/opposite colors, Queen Bee and Antibug for example). Beside that I also find curious how much they focus on Duusus emotional outbursts here in her introduction picture. No other kwami has THIS emotional range, not even Plagg comes anywhere close to this and hes the most “out there” Kwami we know!

Alright, whats next?

Ah!

Why was Duusu only renounced in “Mayura”? What are her powers and how can Mayura use them?

Last one promise!

From what we have seen in “Mayura” the peacock is simular to the butterfly in terms of the “akumatizing and communication” stick but both of their powers are not the same! The big difference is that the butterfly adds power to a persons emotional energy which posseses them and the peacock takes the emotional energy an dcreates a ptotector out of it. Both use the energy of a person but only Mayuras power is actually really channeling them. When Mayura rescued Hawkmoth in “Heros day”, he collapsed when Mayura channeled his energy but Im pretty sure thats because the peacock is damaged. If it were normal I believe it would give the person the power to control the protector. Probably also alot more but thats everything Im getting out of the one scene we had with her but I think her powers will be very energy based in general. In the concept art is a picture of Mayura attacking with somesort of energy blast and thats there for a reason for sure!

Where I’m getting here with the whole energie thing is that I believe Duusu on her own can channel a persons energy to protect/preserve and maybe even heal a person. Peacocks are (beside other things) known for Spirituality, Awakening, Immortality, refinement and incorruptibility. So Duuse being able to channel a persons energy is possible, its like Plaggs ability to destroy everything on his own.

Okay I think we all know where Im getting here, so Ill just say it.I believe Duusu was only renounced in “Mayura” even though shes sick/damaged because normally shes trying to/being used to keep Emilies comatose body alive. Of course she isnt doing this 24/7, she cant because shes damaged which also expalines why Emilie is not getting better but worse. Duusu and her powers are aick and damaged, they are probably only able to keep her alive for a little longer before they cant stop time anymore.

This is also supported by the last scene in “Gorizilla”. Remeber this?

We dont see Emilie or anything in close up here, but what we can do, is hearing! Remeber the ticking noises that sounded just like the miraculous timer? Again in the concept we also see this

It seems like the miraculous in their normal form can use some kind of powers too and once again, just like the “activated” timer, something is dissapearing from the miraculous. So maybe gabriel is making Duusu useing her powers to help Emilie and the ticking noise we heard was the efect it has on the miraculous like seen above. It stands in question why Duusu would need the miraculous for useing her powers but its likely because its damaged and Astruc once comfirmed that Kwamis need the miraculous jewleries to interact with humans. So since both she and the miraculous are damaged, she needs to use her powers through the miraculous to be able to help. But thats just one possible way, I need more context for this detail.

Alright u guys, THATS IT

[lexnolongerhearsthemusic]

Do all the odd numbers! (for the question thing)

omg okay but then you have to do the evens!

1. the meaning behind my url

It’s this song by this artist wrabel who I love, it was one of my favorite songs in early high school and I couldn’t think of a url that wasn't taken (why I didn’t make it a libs song who knows... it’s all I post about) but anyways it’s about still being in love with someone even though it’s been ages and you only live 11 blocks away.. depressing but it’s just a catchy little pop song that I quite enjoy and he has one of the cutest personalities (sent me a polaroid from one of his music videos once!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbBobU_gZVA

3. tattoos i have

LOL.. okay.. I have committed crimes.. (not really.. but to some) and will continue to.. As of right now I have 5 stick and pokes (oops) I have an exclamation point and a question mark in two different places I don’t want to talk about (.... yes I was sober... also only regretted them when my mom found out.. but the feeling passed it’s just funny). I also have a heart under my right boob and a wonky teapot on my left thigh (she’s topsy-turvey cause I attempted to create her upside down) and a star on my left inside ankle (I did the last two to myself because I sorta wanna become a tattoo artist.. probably will never happen but who better to practice on than myself.) BUT I am getting my first two “real” tattoos in 2 weeks (the 18th) and they are going to go together, both above my elbows on the inner arm and its going to be a sun and moon on either side with faces.. very illustrative design with lots of dot work i think... also hope to get my libertine tattoo within the year.. maybe for my birthday in February. 5. piercings i have

3 ear holes on each side and a septum  7. biggest turn off(s)

when people are overly cocky/full of themselves (confidence is attractive but there’s a point where it goes too far...) and know it alls and sexist and racist people and homophobes and blah blah etc. (also people who feel like they don’t have any personality? like they’ve just absorbed qualities from other people?? this sounds shitty and rude but I dunno how to explain it? I like unique people??) 9. tattoos i want

libertine tattoo.. probably a lyric to do with them and maybe “delicate” to do with Taylor cause I’ve been saying it since I met her. Ummm.. i want a statue tattoo really bad for some reason and a harry potter one.. florals are to die for in the right style (i tend to lean towards black and white with lots of dot work and fine lines)... architecture tattoos.. i’m in love with.. basically i’m going to be covered one day?

11. age

19 ALMOST 20... still a baby. (people always think i’m like 25 cause I act older and apparently look older) I like to say that I am a 80 year old, 25 year old and 5 year old all at the same time. 13. life goal(s)

See the libertines live.. travel abroad. would like to live abroad for a while.. wanna meet lots of friends and get a cat and open an etsy and live in a house in the wilderness or just a tad outside of town (would love a tiny house that I could move) and sew and paint to my hearts desire as attend as many concerts as possible.. that’s about it. 15. relationship status

very very very single and learning how to be in love with being alone again and finding I quite enjoy it 17. a fact about my life

As of next week I will be both an art school drop out and a design school dropout.. lol WOOO (my mom is sooo proud of me. but neither of them were a right fit... I’ll get there.. I’m less worried than she is) 

19. middle name

Ann.

[teddystrap]

[神なる君と] Spirit duo - Rei

なんかちょっとラストスパートな感じですけど…

Rei is the friendly spirit that Sakuya and co. met when they were investigating rumours about hauntings in the old school building. He’s arguably the most ‘mysterious’ character, since nothing is known about his former life, and I was super curious what his deal is. Not to mention he’s the final obstacle standing between me and Mikoto!! Ψ(￣∀￣)Ψケケケ

Truth be told he’s not really my type, though - since I’m not 15 anymore. I mean he’s a ghost but looks more like a forest elf / Mori Boy circa. 2001, and his voice sounds like it’s breaking. Compared to the other characters also he has a personality (or lack thereof) that is blander than konnyaku. In fact I found myself opening all the Yuzuru options in his common route first before going back and redoing them for Rei, because senpai saranghae I only wanna be wit u <3... 

Aaanyway.

-Mizuniwa Rei-

Rei-kun’s common route was actually quite revealing and interesting - in two of his ema, Mikoto actually asked to tag along, so it seemed like there might be some important information there idk. 

In his second ema, Mikoto tells Sakuya that she has the power to push people who are on the brink between Life and Death into one world or another, depending on what kind of guidance she gives.

Which in retrospect seemed like heavy foreshadowing for what’s about to come.

Fuu-san’s backstory was also revealed here:

Around 10 years ago, Fuu-san and his bff, a boy named Kawashina Yuuya, were students at Mikagurayama High School. One day they found a hidden basement storage room in the old school building, and turned it into their hang-out spot.

The basement used to be a bomb shelter, and had some books left over on occult spells and curses, that were used during the war to protect the townspeople. Fuu-san found a book with a spell to summon the powers of the Great Demon, and wanted to try it out of fun/boredom, but Yuuya was against it.

So Fuu-san did it by himself anyway. He got the sealed cursed box from the magical cave and took it back to the basement to perform the spell. Halfway through he passed out... and when he came to, he realised that Yuuya saved him by transferring the spell onto himself. 

Yuuya never woke up again, despite a lot of medical attention and whatnot. After half a year, Fuu-san decided to quit school and skip town to learn exorcism so that he can save his friend. But when he finally returned a few years later, Yuuya had already died...

Fuu-san lived with guilt all these years and thought that Yuuya died hating him. But when he went down to the basement with Sakuya to liberate his spirit, Yuuya’s spirit communicated through Sakuya that he doesn’t ever regret saving Fuu-san, and he hopes Fuu-san can stop blaming himself and go forward in life, smiling... By this point I was pretty much crying like a baby... ｡･ﾟ･(ﾉД｀)･ﾟ･｡

Oh how I wish there was a Su-sa-no-o in my neighbourhood, with a sexy store-owner like Fuu-san... 

But we’re not here to court Fuu-san (I wish we could, mang. I wish we could), so let’s get back to Rei. In his route Sakuya tries to help him to find out about his family and his past. She asks Aki for help ofc, and Aki reports back that she couldn’t find anyone matching Rei’s description in the database of deaths, nor the missing persons list...

And the mystery deepens dun-dun-DUN. This would’ve made for an interesting story development,... except the writers totally abandon it and instead opt for Rei and Sakuya frolicking around in the forest, true to his Mori Boy style (wholesomely tho, since they are both underage XD). Then Rei realises that he’s not long for this world, and he tries to put some distance between them - but Sakuya eventually convinces him that they should spend his last remaining time on earth together and make lots of beautiful (wholesome) memories.

There were a lot of group events in his route, which was nice since I got to see Yuzuru-senpai mucho. (Although he’s not an option here obvsly T_T)

You know I will happily choke on a fish bone for you, senpai <3.

So hoshimatsuri night, Rei undergoes the ceremony to pass into the other world. Sakuya stays home, because she’s not strong enough to go and say goodbye to him. Is this like deja vu from the Yorihito/Nisei story arc or what?? ...After that, Sakuya goes to the old school building one day after school, and finds a note from Rei. SURPRISE - he’s still here.

...

It turns out that Sakuya’s, uhh, clinginess is keeping him from successfully departing. At this rate he’s going to grow weaker and weaker and become trapped in the interstitial space between two worlds - forever. They keep communicating through notes, and through voice chatting over radio, while Sakuya grows enough balls to finally let him go.

Eventually she does. Because let’s face it - Otomate can’t afford to pay their seiyuu to carry on a story for like two gajillion chapters.

In his final moment of departure, he appears to Sakuya in a dream, but they can’t hear each other’s voice. Just as Sakuya is freaking out, he pulls her in and kisses her, then disappears into the ether. (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*)♡

...I guess Yuzuru and Rei’s routes don’t work the same way as Narumi and Yakumo’s, bc you don’t get the alternative ending by choosing the ‘wrong’ option for the last couple of choices. I wasn’t strong enough for senpai’s bad end, but I was actually pretty curious about Rei’s, although all the same I wasn’t able to unlock it. Either way I hope he didn’t get stuck in between worlds forever, poor kid has been through enough.

1. Good end: Fast forward 10 years, Sakuya becomes a teacher at Mikagurayama High School, just as Rei had hoped. She still goes to the garden every day to take care of Rei’s flowers. The old school building is about to be torn down because it’s too old and might be a safety hazard. She’s on her way there one last time... when she gets a call from Aki, who finally found out what happened with Rei’s past-life investigation 10 years ago. Unfortunately Aki trips on something and the line cuts off before we get to hear it. _(:3」∠)_

So Sakuya is there happily watering her flowers, when guess who appears - ahem *Rei*, now all grown up. He tells her that this time he’s not a spirit anymore... and the scene just ends there. I’ve seen a lot of abrupt endings but this has gotta take the cake. Although I’ll admit adult Rei is kinda sorta smoking hot, so less talk more making out!

[Thoughts] What can I say? This route really didn’t explain as much as I thought it would, although there were some good bits. For one, the Fuu-san backstory really got to me. Fuu-san was always the side character that I was most curious about, since he seems kind of... shady, and like he might’ve had a colourful past. His arc really delivered, and it’s my favourite out of all the four side stories, although I loved them all in their own way.

I was expecting to find out about Rei’s past here, but I guess the writers are saving it for Mikoto’s route / wrap-up, which almost certainly means there’s going to be a surprise revelation. So I am looking forward to that and I hope they don’t fuck it up.

The route itself actually felt like it was mostly stuff that belongs in a fandisk, rather than an individual character route. All the group hangouts, and scenarios that reveal idiosyncrasies about the other characters (e.g. everyone’s drawings in the Fuu-san arc. I finally got to see Yuzuru-senpai’s kawaii creations! :3).

Senpai’s art totally unleashes his inner otome...

As expected, Rei failed to give me any doki-doki feels... except at the end, where we saw grown-up Rei and got to hear Iguchi Yuuichi’s normal voice for like 2 seconds. (I wish this game had a fandisk bc I *definitely* need more of that!!) From the other character routes I got the sense that he’s an iyashi-kei type of guy, and he’s probably the most consistent out of all of them, because he continues being selfless and caring about Sakuya before himself throughout - e.g. helping her to find her future path despite not having one himself. 

Still I gotta admit, when he confessed that he liked Sakuya, I did a silent fist-pump in the air, because FINALLY here’s a guy who said it first. I’m so tired of always having to make the first move >;(

Also the thing that Narumi said really touched me here: that Rei would rather choose a lonely existence as a spirit trapped between two worlds for the rest of eternity, than force Sakuya to let him go. Even when he was weakening, he never said anything to Sakuya. In a way he was perhaps the most adult-like one out of all of them. Admittedly I didn’t like Sakuya very much in this route. She seemed very self-absorbed and immature, refusing to face the truth. But eventually Narumi kind of slapped some sense into her (figuratively ofc, I mean Narumi would never actually slap her XD) and she did choose to do the right thing.

...I guess Narumi is determined to be the guy that has a crush on her and ‘saves her’ one way or another in every route. Kudos to him but he’s still only, like, my third or fourth favourite lols.

Lastly, I felt that this route was actually the most poetic + metaphorical one so far. (Maybe the other ones were, too, and I just wasn’t paying attention?) ...The metaphor of flowers bearing seeds that blossom into new flowers, bearing witness to their relationship and carrying on their legacy. When they first met the flowers were newly planted, and when they said goodbye they were just about to wither. 

Also Sakuya and Rei always met after class at sunset, the time between day and night - like the space between Life and Death. Idk mang but that’s, like, really beautiful or sumshit.

But this is the most poetic thing of them all~!

[bookenders]

11/11/11 Tag Game: 16/17/18?

Back again to spill the tea about myself for all you lovely people.Thanks @cataclysmic-writer, @maybeillwriteit and @aurisadventure for the tags!

My answers are under the cut. 😊

Rules: Answer the 11 questions of the person who tagged you, make up 11 questions, then tag 11 people to answer them. 

Bilbo Taggins: @brittanyisart, @quilloftheclouds, @brittanyisart, @brynwrites, @creatvrae, @elisabethrosewrites, @elizabethsyson, @ren-c-leyn, @yetmorestories, @pinespittinink, @timefire25

My Questions:

What are your thoughts on throw pillows?

Do you have any podcast recommendations? How about TV shows?

What month would you be on a calendar, and what would the picture be?

What is one book that you absolutely love, no matter what anyone else has to say about it? 

What’s your favorite kind of scented candle?

What’s your favorite urban legend?

Would you ever go on an arctic expedition?

What’s the furthest from home you’ve ever been?

What is the best snack?

How purple do you allow your prose to be/get? What’s your purple limit? Is there one?

What’s one word/line/scene/character that you want to put in a story, but you haven’t found the right place for yet?

@cataclysmic-writer‘s questions:

What do you eat or drink while writing? It varies depending on how I’m feelin’. Usually a big giant glass of water. I used to have coffee and/or tea, but it always got cold because I forgot about it. That’s actually how I used to measure my progress, by how cold the drink was.  And coffee got me too jazzed to sit still, so I stopped drinking while writing. Good for academic papers, though.

Best piece of advice you ever received? Like... ever? Okay. People are more interested in themselves/absorbed with themselves to really care what you’re doing. Very empowering for someone with real bad social anxiety (like myself heyooo).

Which book inspired you to write the most? I’ve talked about Laurie Halse Anderson’s Wintergirls before, and I’m gonna mention it again. And that I went to a signing for her new book Shout and I got to thank her and my life has been enriched a thousand-fold.

Which author do you try to emulate when you write? Oh, man, I do not do this at all. Okay, well, not at all, because I find it to be a valuable writing exercise to practice with. But I super don’t. I’ve done projects where I’ve emulated Walt Whitman, Philip Levine, Tolkien, Dostoevsky, Poe (eugh), and Anne Valente. Those were super fun. I like imitating styles and I’ve gotten pretty darn good at it. Sometimes I tell myself to put a Gaiman-like twist on a section, though, or describe something like another author if it fits the tone for funsies. But I like writing like me! 

Where did you get the idea for your current wip? I’ve already talked about Heart to Heart, so I’ll talk about “Fish Food!” This one happened when I was pondering superheroes, James Bond, tropes, evil monologues, and the like. I had the image of a hero tied up and dangling over a pit of piranhas while the villain detailed his evil plan. But the hero didn’t follow the script. And then, like every one of my short stories, it spun way out of control. I started to think of what heroes would inhabit this world that erupted from the fertile soil of my brain and suddenly I had a big complicated story that I was excited about. And it was funny, which is a change for me.

Do you have a go-to beta reader/writing buddy you bounce ideas off of? I do! One of my goodest friends is a fellow writer and she’s my spaghetti wall if I need assistance. We went through the same creative writing program one year apart and had different teachers, so we offer each other pretty different advice, and it’s great. She’s super into fae lore, too, which is ridiculously helpful for me, a nerd who is writing a light fantasy story with fae in it. We operate in different styles and genres, though, so sometimes idea-bouncing is a little tricky.

Which of your WIPs is your favorite? Of the ones I’m working on right now? Probably “Incarnate.” Partly because it’s closer to my usual writing fare, partly because it’s weird and disturbing in my favorite ways, partly because the ending is really cool and surprising in a way that hits you long after you finish it. I also like it because it’s hard for me to write. Yay, challenges!

Tea, coffee, or soda? Tea for chillin’, coffee for workin’, soda for pizza times.

If you could have any fantasy creature as a pet, which would you have? A brownie to clean my house, or a domovoi to act as a weird home security system would be neat. For non-practical purposes, I’d also say a pegasus. I can ride pretty well and it’d be so convenient to just fly everywhere on my awesome horse buddy.

Do you like creepy/scary movies? NOPE. I am a big chicken shit when it comes to spooky things. As a kid, I was terrified of E.T. That’s how bad it was. 

What genre do you have yet to write in, but want to write soon? Hm. Maybe historical fiction? I already play with it a little bit without actually going into the history part of it too deeply. Maybe I’ll give it a shot in the future.  I’ve always wanted to give magical realism a good try, though. It’s always been hard for me to write. 

________________________________________

@aurisadventure​‘s questions:

1. Who is your favorite oc? Why?

Right now, it’s Lithium from “Fish Food.” She’s just so fun. I also just figured out a big part of Jill’s character that I’m excited to add to H2H!

2. What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not writing?

I got into cooking a while ago, and that’s pretty fun. I do yoga sometimes. I read a bunch. I also like putting things together. Honestly, I’m a big giant nerd who likes learning in their spare time.

3. What is your least favoured genre?

Hard sci-fi is really hard for me to get into. And some contemporary stuff, but it’s not as bad as hard sci-fi.

4. Top three favorite video games? (Any console)

DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS (with Awakening DLC, obvs) (except for the goddamn Mage Circle Fade part I hate it and it deserves to burn in hell)

Ori and the Blind Forest (I’m stuck on the last stupid fire volcano level and I’m so mad because it’s hard but this game is beautiful)

To The Moon (so many tears, such good story)

Honorable mention to Assassin’s Creed 2. 

(I love RPGs.)

5. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for inspiration?

Hm. I don’t really go out and seek inspiration like this. I just consume a whole lot of art in varying mediums. 

I went to a poetry slam one time. Does that count?

6. Buggy or Cart?

Horses, buggy. Oxen, cart. As much as I’d like to be Gandalf...

7. Have you finished any of your wips?

I am so goddamn close to finishing “When Your Song is Over and Done” I can taste it. I’m hoping to write that last stupid scene this week. It’s been the one WIP that’s been kicking my ass lately. How rude.

I’m a short story writer, so I finish a lot of my WIPs. It’s kinda nice. That’s also why longer projects scare me.

8. But like… can I read it?

😉

In the meantime, you can read these!

9. What is your favorite animal? Why?

Highland Cows! Just look at them. 

I’m sure I have a more interesting answer for this, but honestly, cows are all I can think of. I love cows. 

10. Name one place you want to visit more than anything.

Norway! Not sure why. Seems like a really cool place to be.

(I lied I love space and want to go to the observatories.)

11. What is your most cherished childhood memory?

Saturday mornings curled up in my grandfather’s armchair watching TV and eating Burger King before we go visit the animals at the farm.

________________________________________

@maybeillwriteit‘s questions:

1. Which oc would you most like to go for a drink with?

I don’t drink, but I think Treena would be an excellent conversation partner. 

2. Where do you like to write? Bed? Desk? Cafe? etc etc

I have a desk in my room. Not that I usually write at it. I’m good anywhere I can sit up straight and rest my arms.

3. Which of your ocs do you think people are most likely to make fanart for?

Eventually, I hope Mel. I love her character design. Or the superheroes and villains from “Fish Food.” They all have really distinct appearances and cool costumes/uniforms.

4. Favourite piece of writing advice you’ve received?

Probably the time my mentor also admitted he hated writing dialogue, but that sometimes you just gotta. 

5. Which place in your stories would you like to live? (i’ve read this sentence ten times and i ain’t convinced it’s grammatically correct lol)

(maybe: In which place/where in your stories would you most like to live? I dunno this one’s freaking my brain.)

Linsay would be the best place to live, I think. A very chill small town that has everything you need, very supportive soon-to-be friends, an apothecary on stand-by, and lovely weather. Its residents are fiercely protective and are very willing to look the other way where the law is concerned if it helps someone.

6. Do any authors/books influence your writing? Which ones?

Oh, tons. Jim Butcher, Laurie Halse Anderson, George Saunders, Anne Valente, Tolkien, Gaiman, Matt Bell, Aimee Bender, and a whole bunch more authors. And, if you wanna get all heartfelt about it, every single book I’ve read has influenced my writing, whether it’s learning how to do something, learning how not to do something, or finding a new technique that jives with my style.

7. Pick one song that represents your wip.

I’ve done a bunch of song stuff with H2H, so this is for “Fish Food:”

Honestly, my first instinct is “Superboy and the Invisible Girl” from Next to Normal. But it’s not quite right.

I also wanna say “Super Friends” from Holy Musical B@man. 

But in my heart, I know the true answer is “Under Pressure.” How could it not be?

8. Favourite thing about being a writer?

The feels! I love writing things and getting my own feels out, then making other people feel things. It’s so satisfying. 

9. Characters or plot, what came first?

Characters! Oh my God, always characters. And before characters, concept and theme(s). Sometimes a scene just pops into my head and I have to figure out who these people are and why they’re there.

10. Do you like writing prompts?

I do indeedy. They’re pretty helpful when I’m stuck. I only write for the ones that instantly spark an idea in my brain, though. All the ones I’m getting for my 800 followers celebration are insanely good. 

11. Part of your wip that you’re most excited to write?

Oh, man! So many!

H2H: The climax! Well, one of them. The one of the magic incidents and Mel and Gemma’s relationship, to be specific.

Fish Food: When my main two dudes meet Lithium! And figure out what’s going on with her. Or anything about Lithium’s real life. Her story is wild.

WYSiOaD: The goddamn rooftop scene that’s been kicking my ass for a month. It’s gonna be so emotional and poignant and great and I can’t wait for it to be over.

[newproletarians]

I feel like I am giving my own brain a noogie a lot of the time. Or, maybe, putting it in a headlock. Squeezing it from the inside. I feel like I am pinching my own brain, trying to get it to do different things, constantly. Does that make sense? 

Is that normal? Do you feel the same way, other person reading this? For the sake of your comfort, and potentially entertainment, I want to be completely candid—I feel like this a fucking LOT. I don’t usually realize it, either. And look. I have this deep-seated knowledge that the average person on Earth is having a really shitty time. I think that’s the norm. We’re all gonna die, we’re all gonna suffer. If you aren’t dying, and you aren’t life-sucking, then what you’re in is very cool, very unusual, and very temporary. Some of us end up lucky enough to be dicking around on a Tumblr blog with loads of benefactors all around them. So I don’t like to complain. Or, fuck that. I should complain. Complaining is good. But I don’t like to be disappointed when life is not perfect, because it rarely is. So there’s that. I just notice it sometimes, like having tense shoulders (which I also have). I’ll be hanging out putting up a shirt in the closet, and realize I’ve been keeping my shoulders... more up? More up than they need to be. That’s the thing. It’s a subconscious tenseness that comes back again and again. That’s what’s going on in my brain. New paragraph.

So what do I care about this? It’s just a thing that happens. Big deal. Move on. Well, that’s the thing. I don’t know if it is a thing that happens. If it is, and it’s totally fine, then I’d love to just get on with my life. If it’s bad I want to stop, because it’s uncomfy and I think there’s a better life out there for me. I’m doing it now, even.

I think i thas something to do with this words part of my brain. This hyper-analytical, mostly-useless part of my brain that sucks at doing anything. The same part of my brain that, when I used to play baseball, would absolutely micromanage the fuck out of every aspect of my form in everything I did. It’s criticism. It’s toxic. God, do people criticize their kids and siblings. What a cycle of suckage. I would be thinking to myself, in the batter’s box, “think of the ball like a thing you need to hit DOWN with the bat.” That would work for a while, and then it would stop, and I’d come up with a new thing. That shit doesn’t work. That’s when the verbal, limited part of your brain tryies to use it’s own verbage to move you forward as a being. You know what I’m saying? That’s you words-brain, which isn’t good for much, actually. Silence is gold. You know what I’m saying?

Your words-brain is the best conduit we have of information from person to person (asterisk), but that information is ridiculously low-quality. Low res. It’s like... not that many pixels? I guess I don’t need more analogies. It’s fucking weak. Language is weak. It weakly approximates things, and we need a whole lot of other shit to adequately communicate anything (like gestures, context, etc.). When I talk, a lot of the time, I’m fixated on the words. I’m thinking about the language we’re using. it’s why, why I text someone, I automatically absorb their texting style and throw it right back at them. It’s probably also why, when I listen to a song, I am often thinking about it in abstract terms, subconsciously reverse-engineering the song to the writer. Unsuccessfully and inaccurately much of the time, for sure. I don’t want to seem like some dude who thinks he is just reverse engineering songs as he goes through life. That would be pretty cringey. But that’s the spirit. It’s there. It’s the sizing up of life experiences, thinking of things in the absolute most transactional, bit-by-bit ways. It’s seeing someone throw a ball well and thinking, “I should make sure my arm goes up like his when I throw,” or seeing a happy couple and thinking, “I should hold myself like this person to optimize life enjoyment.” It’s honestly pretty weird, but also interesting. Why would I look at things that way? This fixation on the mechanics of things is what makes a great builder of things, which I certainly aspire to be. I want to build great relationships, music, videos, animations, whatever. I don’t want to be guarded anymore, how I am. I want to just put myself out there. 

And that brings us back to the beginning, somehow. I’m so used to being so hard on myself. So hard on everything around me. There’s this feeling, and it feels like pinching my brain. I am working really hard just to be good enough. For who? For what? Good questions, for sure. I don’t know. I do know that I have the urge to throw this blog away again. I just want to start fresh. I don’t want this stupid shit plaguing my memory. I don’t want to have this shitty blog where I just puked my thoughts out and made little puke piles that were shaped OK enough for me to feel smart. I want to have a cool blog. A smart person blog. Maybe I can talk a little about what I want. Maybe this is too negative. There’s some relation between this head-pinching feeling, this inward-spiraling of writing, and this hyperanalyticality. Man, seeing Phoebe Bridgers on Instagram and Twitter makes me dislike myself. I feel like I’m not cool enough to hang out with her. God. I wanna be cool.

I’m remembering writing in a journal when I was 17. I felt so similarly. I remember I was writing about feeling jealous of my brothers, and how it felt like everything came easily to them, and they always got better treatment, and yadda yadda yadda, and I was just full spiraling into a non-spiral-bound notebook. Comp book. If it were spiral bound, it’d maybe make a kinda beautiful song lyric. Maybe it’s better that it wasn’t. I got bitter. I’m just realizing I got bitter. I think I’ve known, but damn! I was really the not-bitter guy and it was awesome. I wonder why. Anyway. We’ll come back around to it. Maybe.

I was writing about my brothers, and I wrote out “I JUST WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL.” At the time it felt so bad! I felt like it was the craziest thing I ever did. Writing that. Isn’t that funny? I felt like i was being a huge weirdo, and it’s because I had oppressed myself into semi-normalcy (which is also just regular socialization I guess?) and wasn’t thinking about my feelings at all. Now I’m 23 going on 24, and guess what? The feelings are still there. Basically all the same ones. The difference is that I have the tools to deal with them now. It’s cool to relate to yourself. Damn. That is a hilarious thing to say that I didn’t think I would find funny or novel. It feels good to relate to one’s self. It feels like my dragon to slay. 

This relates back to the main point. Brain pinch. Getting out of this stupid brain-words mode. words-brain. Whatever. Left brain. Heady stuff. The dragon to slay here is this overwhelming issue of me being weird. I think that’s the fundamental question. It’s ok. I’ll say it. I’m weird. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I think some people genuinely reach that self-aware age, look in a mirror, and go, “score. I’m normal.” Some people just think the right thoughts. I’ve definitely played on both teams in the weird vs. normal wars. I tend to side with normies, because, let’s face it, those other guys aren’t always the people you wanna get down with. The oppressive monolith of normalcy that presses ever forward, bullying that which gets in its way, is pretty reliable. A fear of being weird is healthy, I think. Being too weird is bad. Lol. I’m so far off point. I’m really distracted, worried, bored, and somehow procrastinating all at once. I thought life would be different. That’s part of it. I thought by now I’d know what I wanted to do. I thought I’d have more mature relationships with the people in my family. I thought I’d have more friends, not less. I thought that I’d finally be one of those people you see at the airport and think, “that person looks cool. Instead, I feel like I have less of an idea of what I want to do with my life than ever. I also feel like the kind of person I would avoid. I feel like my relationships with my family members have gotten to a better place, but I’m worried that it only got here because of pity they have for me. I thought I would have an army of cool friends rn, but I don’t. I thought I’d have money, but I don’t. I thought I’d have my shit together, and look at me now, I most certainly do not. 

I may not be writing something good right now. I don’t think that’s what this blog is about. I think it’s about me shitting my brain out, but with words. It’s important for me to take big brain shits! I have to take brain shits! Or else I have a bunch of shit in my brain! Is that what an artist is? I don’t think so. I think artists, like, care about art.

Well that’s a relief. So these posts don’t have to be good. They SHOULD be shitty. They are literally shit. I’m gonna have a beer.

[evercelle]

Everyone keeps saying "you need to find your own style, don't try to copy other artists"... But I'm a beginner, despite being 40 already, and I have no style of my own. It's really discouraging, to the point where I often think I shouldn't even bother learning to draw at all. It's not your problem, of course, but I love your art. Do you have any advice, for an aspiring artist, who hasn't enough personality to have a proper style of her own?

Hi anon–first, please imagine I’ve offered you a hug through the internet. Well-meaning but unintentionally discouraging art advice is a topic that’s close to my heart so I’m gonna throw the rest of this under a cut and ramble, like, a lot.

Let me emphasize first that art is really personal and subjective, and what kind of art you make and what helps you make that art varies dramatically from person to person.

I get the sentiment behind the idea that a person should develop their own style, but a blanket “don’t try to copy other artists” statement is a little vague and unhelpful and, as you mentioned, discouraging.

Story time: for a long while (I wanna say 5-8 years?) I stopped drawing at all because I’d been reading artist advice posts and getting really frustrated because I felt like I was Doing Art Wrong. (It’d be stuff like “you have to use thinner lineart if you want to improve” or “must do figure studies and life drawing bc you’re gonna be mediocre forever if you only do anime/fanart/cartoons” etc.) I tried those things, didn’t enjoy it, and then I just stopped because it felt pointless and frustrating.

I got into HQ early this year and started posting fanart again because I finally said to myself “fuck it, I’m just gonna draw whatever I want, technique be damned!!” I’ve been a lot more active, and enjoying drawing again, more in the past few months than the last 5-8 years combined because I really try to embrace that whole art is subjective thing. Point being, I don’t think it’s wrong to follow the art advice that works for you and put aside the advice that doesn’t.*

To bring that meandering personal anecdote back to the original “you need to find your own style, don’t copy other artists” part… Expecting a beginner artist to create a unique, new style out of thin air, right out the gate, is kinda absurd. Personally, I think of style as synthesis: copying/absorbing Things You Like (y'know, like thick lineart, or excessive use of gradients…) from other art or media, mashing up those elements, experimenting (by way of trying out, OR completely ignoring!! “art rules”)… and the end product becomes your style, because it’s the stuff that influenced you, processed through your eyes and brain and hands.

My style developed (& still absorbs) from Things I Like about a bunch of artists whose work I really admire and I absolutely copied from. Short of stealing artwork or tracing other’s work and claiming it’s yours, I don’t think any one should feel pressured into developing style or becoming an artist “the proper way.” If developing technical skill or realism is important to you, do it! If following “art rules” helps you, do that thang!! If all you wanna do is draw chibis and fanart all day long, draw those cute motherfuckers.

Your art and your growth as an artist is all yours. I hope no one makes you feel otherwise.

*that includes this advice lol. If this wasn’t helpful, you can ignore me and I will absolutely not be offended.

[tumblunni]

Alright I guess I’m watching the two-parter first cos lol I cant just let that spoiler stew in my head for half an hour. Bunni’s commentary below the cut, woooo!!

* I love steven’s postman song * Oh so maybe this is the thing we saw in the mysterious promos where the human characters suddenly go missing for some reason? But i’d think if Jamie didnt show up to work then they’d just send a different postman to deliver steven’s route, I mean we’ve seen that sadie’s mom sometimes delivers instead of him. * where did amethyst even get soda can beans * damn i hate beans and i still really want soda can beans now * PEARL AND GARNET MADE A SANDCASTLE HOUSE FOR CRABS, THIS IS THE SINGLE MOST ADORABLE SCENE IN THIS WHOLE SHOW GODDAMMIT * THEYRE JUST SO HAPPY ABOUT IT * AAAAAAAAAAA * anyway, continuing on... * or not, here have a pic first

* NOW, CONTINUING ON! * OH NOOOOO. man, that scene with sour cream putting up missing posters for his brother is so sad! I’m not a massive onion fan but still, he’s just a lil kid T_T * Okay, i do like that they did actually bring back sadie’s mom the postman, even if it was in a different way than I expected. I dont like the joke about her making secret copies of sadie’s keys though, thats just not funny when we had a whole episode about her being an abusive mother and now its like we’re saying she didnt actually learn her lesson after all. I know it was meant to be a joke tho, but it wasnt very funny so its easy to take it as serious... * I also liked that they brought up the island adventure episode as an idea for where sadie might be. Man that thing was still one of the darkest things ever, yikes... * Tho I do like that sadie’s mom is the first one to take steven’s concerns seriously, and she clearly has changed a bit cos she’s so fired up to save her daughter now. I hope you continue appearing more and continue with this good character development, sadie’s mom! Less dumb abusive parent jokes plz! * I really like aquamarine’s design, yo! She seems kinda like onion’s unique art style? and its cool to see that she’s clearly of the same kind of ‘caste’ as lapis and even shares the same colourscheme but she’s also a very unique variation. Its a shame that the ‘my dad’ thing was what got spoiled for me tho, cos I could imagine I woulda got attatched to her and assumed she was a lil kid if I hadnt seen that part first. * HAPPY MUSHY STEVEN AND CONNIE FRIENDSHIP TIME! while surrounded by the growing dread of all their friends potentially being dead! HOORAY? * okay i laughed way too much at Connie: *crumples up a leaf and watches it blow away* well, we know there’s wind just the overdramatic way it was animated, lol these two really arent very good at detectiving, this episode probably aint gonna end well.. * I also like how much empathy they both had for aquamarine even though they know nothing about her. and the various silly theories of how she has a dad, I totes agree that I’d wanna see a movie about aquamarine as batman! * Steven: *leaning into a tree* JAMIE! You in here delivering packages to some peat moss? WHY AM I LAUGHING SO MUCH * Also a bit late but let me say I loved everyone’s bad attempts at drawing aquamarine. Connie’s super anime version was ADORABLE, and omg pearl doing this uber complex Mucha style thing and going ‘oh im so bad at drawing lol’ * CONNIE YOU ARE MAYBE NOT HOLDING THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF SUSPICION HERE. “Jump down and I’ll shield your fall with my body!” connie please stop being so kind and perfect for once in your life * also its a bit silly that connie is the one who starts to cotton on that this is a tad confusing and suspicious, when steven just had the whole episode with Ruby. You’d think he’d know now not to assume that childlike gems are all instantly good :P * okay NOW he gets suspicious! after he somehow got himself stuck in a tree and connie is right in the grasp of this potentially evil gem. BAD SENSE OF TIMING, DUDE * I know she’s kinda meant to be terrifying but I LOVE TOPAZ ALREADY. Can we plz get like.. a large buff gem who isnt evil for once? Its starting to become an odd pattern. But yeah topaz/topazes hasnt even got a line yet and we dont know anything about her or how that weaponized fusion thing works but its just REALLY COOL and she looks really cute and I would love to hug her if she didnt absorb me into her skin like a horrifying death monster. That SLIGHTLY lowers the huggability factor! Slightly! But seriously she’s like a silent mook to a boss thats really rude to her, so i can totally see a big opportunity for her joining the hero side, yo. * also i like that aquamarine’s weapon is a magical wand that can turn into a hair ribbon. thats just very neat! also reminds me of syndrome from the incredibles * SO YEAH! DAT TWIST! Its cook that they made a callback AAAAAALLLL the way to a stray line of dialogue in peridot’s very first episode! Apparantly steven accidentally caused them to target his friends, cos he talked about them once and homeworld was receiving peridot’s logs back then. And the whole ‘are you my dad’ thing was just because they literally thought greg’s name was ‘my dad’. * Topaz using the captured friends as shields against the heroes = further proof that topaz is more smart than her jerk boss gives her credit for. But also a total dick move, yo! It was funny having the callback to jamie’s crush on garnet tho * same as I said with Navy-ruby, I LOVE that we’re getting more actually detestable villains to root for our heroes to defeat and all. the show was slowing down for a bit when we didnt have any villains or any threats left for like half a whole season. Aquamarine is SO SCARY! ‘they didnt specify the humans have to be alive~ hee hee~’ Yes I am 100% for cliche ‘innocent’ looking characters being evil villains, now can we please have the cliche ‘barbarian mook’ ones be good guys too. PLEASE GIV ME TOPAZ REDEMPTION. I dont know why i want this so much when she’s only been onscreen for 4 dialogueless minutes!!! * okay she’s kinda gonna crush jamie’s skull in the palm of her hand but im still gonna hope for dat redemption yo *STUBBORN TIL THE DAY I DIE* *PROBABLY BY ALSO BEING CRUSHED BY TOPAZ* *BUT WHATEVER* * I cant believe ‘her body is so thicc’ was actually said. Wonder how long until people take that out of context, lol? * I love that the bigger threat than topaz is apparantly jamie’s poetry about being killed by topaz. HURRY UP STEVEN!! * LARS U PIECE OF SHIT! can we just fuckin kill him off already? i’ve had SO much patience for this guy, I just hate how they keep cockteasing us with him learning a lesson or being sympathetic in some way and then keep taking it back and making him EVEN WORSE. Now he’s literally running off and leaving sadie to die! JUST STOP, SHOW. Or at least stop giving him so much screentime if NOTHING IS EVER GONNA HAPPEN IN IT. I started off amoungst the people who thought he was potentially redeemable, yo! >_< * Okay, very good cliffhanger that everyone else escapes but they take steven back to homeworld. Again. Well, hopefully this time will be quite different to the zoo episode? Also it seems lars running away was just a plot device to get lars stuck on the ship too in the end, which *UGH* means he’ll probably get more screentime next episode :P fuckin hell ive given up all hope you’re gonna make him an interesting, fully rounded character ever :P * still hoping for topaz redemption arc * seriously kill lars and bring her back in his place * or just give me a whole episode of topaz slapping him til he becomes a better person * same for aquamarine * everything is solved by topaz’s backhand