#i just think this would be a nice symbolic representation of him starting to see other contestants as people rather than just puppets

[perpetualexistence]

Because the Alenoaheather Fake Dating AU never truly leaves my brain, I've got a small addition.

After Alejandro and Sierra have done their puppet therapy bonding session, Alejandro has to throw away the remains of the Cody puppet that he used to show Sierra how toxic her relationship with him is.

He's at the trash can. The puppet has served its purpose. It's time to put the pathetic, miserable thing in the trash. Really, it's a mercy.

...He fakes throwing the Cody puppet away. In secret, he fixes the puppet and hides it away somewhere Sierra hopefully won't find it.

He knows he can't really hide it from the cameras. So in the confessional he just says that he would hate to throw away his hard work, even if it was important for the lesson.

(Just have a short ramble about writing under the read more if you're interested)

[On a meta/writing standpoint, I just really like Alejandro using puppets as a way of processing his emotions. It allows him the safety to explore the more vulnerable parts of himself while still maintaining a distance by pretending it's just the puppet/for the performance.

Mind you, I love puppets being used as symbolic of Alejandro's manipulative tendencies. It's tried and true for a reason. I just think it'd be neat to use puppets/dolls as a positive mechanism of change for once.]

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

Greek mythology has evolved over the course of hundreds of years, and with all those… retellings now, it’s gotten me thinking about just how many people have been spreading false details of myths through word of mouth to the point of becoming the most common interpretation, when if you were to look back in history, a great number of them were only recently made up, barely a a few centuries prior. Example of this is King Midas and his turning his daughter into a gold statue. I remember this part having been included all throughout my childhood, only to find out it was never part of the original myth but a recent addition in a book from 1852. (suddenly, the daughter being aptly named “Marigold” makes a lot more sense.) My ask is: which commonly told misconception of this type regarding any Greek myth is most infuriating to you and why?

oh my god misinformation can be INFURIATING smh

Let's start off with the Apollo misinformation.

"He raped Persephone/is a serial rapist!"

First of all, no he did not. LO, toss yourself into an eternal blaze and incinerate.

and secondly- he's not a serial rapist. There's only two accounts of rape, specifically Dryope and Creusa, but that depends on interpretation and the source so if you want to discard it, you can. No one can tell you you can't.

"UwU Apollo's love life is terrible!"

do i even need to say anything?

"Athena hates women!"

hell to the fuck no. the evidence people use for this is the Medusa Myth: Ovid's Version, and CONVIENTLY IGNORE THE ONES WHERE SHE HELPS WOMEN ESCAPE BEING RAPED!! AND THAT OVID IS THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES THIS!!

Even with the ones where she punishes the victim, the older versions do not have that! She made Nicymene her eternal owl companion, for heaven's sake!

"Hermes/Dionysus/Hephaestus is the only unproblematic god! UwU"

uh... *waves Leuconoe/Choine/Philonis around* no matter which version you go with, Hermes/Mercury does rape her...

...and in the Dionysica Dionysus rapes like two women...

...and Hephaestus tried to rape Athena... (oh wow, would you look at that...it's like Athena would have *gasp* sympathy for assault survivors...)

...See the double standards? :/ Ignores Roman/late Greek literature when it's convenient, and then exaggerates it to suit their own needs.

"Demeter is a terrible mom!"

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NO ONE DISRESPECTS THE QUEEN

"Hades only kidnapped Persephone because Zeus told him too!"

Hades is his own man and wasn't being held at gunpoint to abduct her. He did so on his own merits. From a literal perspective, what was stopping him from just. you know. talking to her. kidnapping was not necessary.

(yes, yes, i know about the symbolic perspective, hence my use of 'literal'.)

"But Hades and Persephone are the only ones who don't cheat!!"

uh, nope. Hi Adonis, Minthe, how're you doing?

"But Adonis was more of a son to Persephone!!"

uh, NO. Even the ancients saw them as a couple!!

"Artemis is a girlboss who hates her brother!"

*kicks open door* OUT!

"Orion's the only man Artemis ever loved!"

how dare you disrespect my boy in this way Apollo was the first man she ever loved and no one will be able to replace him how dare you-

-and how dare you disrespect Hippolytus in this way he did not die in the name of all aroace people to be disrespected like this smh

"Zeus's only quality is how he fucks around!"

look, I've joked about this before but I know that's not all there is too him and that it has a symbolic representation.

Sure would be nice if people focused on that more :)

also anything that villainizes Aphrodite or Hera. god forbid women do anything.

"Clytemnestra is a girlboss who did no wrong!"

OH MY GOD THE DOUBLE STANDARDS.

funny how people fawn over Cassandra one moment and then COMPLETELY FORGET HER EXISTENCE to becry the woman who murdered her!

AND ALSO GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO HATE APOLLO FOR CURSING HER WHEN THEIR STORY IS LITERAL ABOUT A WOMAN'S AUTONOMY BEING RESPECTED!!

AND GUESS WHAT!! APOLLO AVENGES HER DEATH!!

anything that is "UwU Achilles!" omg i am sick of it.

that bitch had everything coming. he deserved everything he got. Tenes, Troilus, and Hemithea did NOT deserve what he did to them! APOLLO AND PARIS HAD EVERY RIGHT TO TAKE HIM DOWN!

i'm probably forgetting some but here's the one that popped into my head :)

[thatgirl4815]

Ray's Car

I have a theory that if Sand wields a bat at any point in the series (🤞), he will use it to bust up Ray's car. Idk if this is a theory or just something I would find quite pivotal (and sad, and painful, and gut-wrenching, but still satisfying). But it got me thinking about the role of Ray's car in their relationship.

Not to read into this particular line too deeply, but could it perhaps be a reference to control of Ray in particular? Control of Ray's decisions? Control of his fate?

Ray's car is involved in the very beginning when Ray tries to drive home drunk and Sand gets behind the wheel. The concept of driving is symbolic in that it represents control. We know Ray is lacking in that, and he seems to need a loss of control, otherwise he'll have to contend with the very real turmoil roiling inside. So who takes control for Ray? Sand. We know though that prior to this point, it has been Mew (and others in the friend group, like Boston) who has taken Ray home. But unlike those other times, this is Ray's car we're talking about. Sand has control of Ray's fate and one of his most prized possessions.

From this point on, we see the car used to transport both Ray and Sand, with Sand in the driver's seat at the start of their relationship. When we see it again in Ep3, Ray is the one who drives Sand home--Ray assumes control as a way of repaying Sand for all that Sand has done for him.

When we see Ray and Sand in the convertible outside of Sand's apartment, the cover starts off but is put down during the scene, for multiple reasons: it makes for a nice transition, it's necessary given their...situation...and it's also just a nice excuse for Ray to look hot while pushing the levers down.

The act of the convertible cover coming down is barring them from the outside world. I see it as a physical representation of the safe space between Ray and Sand that thrives in solitude. It is indisputable that when they're alone together, Ray and Sand's relationship is at its strongest.

There's a deeper discussion to be had about the dynamic between Sand's bike and Ray's car, and their role in demonstrating each characters' independence. One scene I want to narrow in on is where Ray agrees to ride on the back of Sand's bike in Ep5. I don't think it is any coincidence that this scene is included in the same episode that Boston rips up SandRay's relationship. Sand's bike is open compared to Ray's car (about as open as one can be to the elements) and if one relates that openness to the publicity of Sand and Ray's relationship, then it could foreshadow the fact that Sand and Ray's relationship will soon move beyond their private safe space.

Lastly, we have Ray's attempt to drive away in his car while Sand chases after him. It's crucial because it's Ray in dangerous control of his own fate, alone. They are not together in Ray's car, but instead Sand is chasing after it, trying to put himself back in a seat of control that once suited Ray and Sand's relationship so well.

Why does this dynamic need restoring? Because Sand is comfortable in a position of control--as someone who has constantly made his own way, he thrives in it. Ray is more than willing to surrender his control to Sand (most of the time) because he knows on some level that he is spiraling. He needs someone else to take the reins--to be his emergency contact. He needs someone to depend on when he is incapable of fully trusting or loving himself.

What this all boils down to is Sand's role as the caretaker and Ray's need to be taken care of. It's very likely that I am reading way too far into the motor vehicle dynamics here, but it gave me a good excuse to take a look back at some of Ray and Sand's happier moments.

[quigonswife8]

Memories: Namor x reader

While you sit with K’uk’ulkan, he looks at the mural, reminiscing of years gone by, of the memories he’s reminded of.

Thank ya'll for all the love on my namor works, it means a lot:)

Also I used the gif above cause even though he’s not painting in this, it still does talk about the mural. Btw I love the mural, he’s so talented

gif creds: @itaintenough

----

"You're cold.". Namor points out as he notes how much you're shivering.

"I-i’m sorry K’uk’ulkan but i'm still not used to this environment."

You rub your arms to try and regain warmth but this attempt turns out feeble.

As a 'surface dweller' you never do get used to visiting K’uk’ulkan’s kingdom. He'd offered you to live there but when he'd seen how much your world meant to you he had agreed to date 'long distance.'

Though with every visit [which is practically everyday] you never get used to the difference of temperature. The water isn't even cold, it's the temperate of the room.

"You don't need to apologise my love."

He stands up and turns, "...I will get you something warm."

Slipping away for a moment to grab the softest blanket. He always keeps it aside for you. He drapes it around your shoulders, sitting back down next to you.

"Better...?"

You glance at him,

"Much better."

He nods, before looking away from you to admire the mural he’d just added onto.

After coming to an agreement with Wakanda everything returned to normal. K’uk’ulkan had gotten started on adding to the mural: a panther fighting someone-Him. and the panther being the queen.

He is a very talented artist. You still wear the bracelet he had hand-made for you years ago, as a symbol of his love. It's like he's with you whenever you're apart.

"It's beautiful my love."

Pulling the blanket more over your shoulders, while scootching closer to K’uk’ulkan.

"Thank you."

He brings a hand up to rest on his knee, his eyes still on the mural. It brings him to think-reminisce of years gone.

The times when things seemed to be just. When he had offered his heart to you and you'd done the same. When all he thought about was ruling his kingdom with you beside him.

When they didn't have to deal with the people trying to mine the vibranium, threatening his people. Looking at this mural reminds him of peace because that's what it is. A peace decided on between his people and the Wakandan's. Something that he has wanted for so long.

That is all he has wanted, and this mural is a representation of that. To some it may not be obvious but to those who know who understand it is obvious.

You look at K’uk’ulkan, wondering what's going on in his mind. The look on his face means he's deep in thought which he often falls into when he has these moments of peace. Not wanting to ruin his peace you simply copy what he's doing by staring at the mural.

It has always fascinated you. When he had brought you to Talokan for the first time it was the mural that caught your eye first. Though back then it didn't include the black panther. Namor had noticed your interest in the mural and began to explain what it had meant.

It became that more fascinating when you'd found out he'd painted this mural himself. The love he held shows in the mural, as well as his skills with a paintbrush.

K’uk’ulkan stands in front of the mural, his hands together behind his back.

"You're very skilled..."

You run your hand along the different lines, different shapes on the wall. "...this is amazing."

It's your first time in K’uk’ulkan’s kingdom. You'd heard stories of a 'feathered serpeant god' but never thought you would ever meet let alone date him. Now as you stand in one of the many rooms in his kingdom it doesn't seem real because you have only dreamt of visiting a place like this.

"Thank you."

He can't help but smile slightly seeing you enjoying his culture, appreicating this mural.

It's nice to know all surface dwellers are not bad which is more often than not. He knew there was something about you the moment you met, he could just tell. That you didn't cower in fear or try and hurt him, you had looked at him with such kindness that he hasn't experienced in so long.

"I'm happy you like it."

"(y/n)?"

"Hmm?" flicking your eyes back to K’uk’ulkanyou catch how he looks at you. A softness in his eyes, a slight smile on his lips. This alone makes you smile.

"Yeah?"

The light reflects in your eyes, making them look that more beautiful. It's captivating- you captivate him.

"I..."

The door suddenly opens, and Namora walks in. She looks your way, and then back to her king.

in her language she says: "can I talk to you, it's important."

K’uk’ulkan nods in reply, and so she leaves to wait outside for him. When his cousin is gone he turns back to you.

"I have to go my love.."

"It's okay..." you lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek. "...i'll see you when you get back."

He adjusts the blanket on you more noticing it had fallen off your shoulders. Lingering with his touch he presses a kiss to your head and then stands.

When he does leave you watch him, pulling your eyes after lingering with your look, and they soon fall back on the mural.

[acheronist]

I am reading The Goldfinch. I'm where he just started hanging out at the furniture/antiques place regularly. It's written well, it's holding my inerest, but I don't yet see what all the fuss is about. So not as a criticism but in an effort to appreciate something I might be missing, why is it a book you love?

well.

donna tartt is one of my favorite authors anyways. I think she's a spectacular freak and her storytelling skills are exceptionally good and i've read as much of her work as i can possibly get my little hands on!

but for tgf specifically, the narrative being soooo so so centered on personal emphasis & meaning being bestowed upon specific artworks despite them being very unpersonal objects (after they get out of the artist's hands, that is,) in stark comparison to the way that art that can belong to/be seen/be consumed any random fucking person alive in the modern age has been the only existential buoy in my life for a very very very long time. in my lowest times, instead of killing myself i go stand in art museums and think about how much love and creativity is innate in humanity despite times of crisis and war and disease and all of the fucking agonies and everything going wrong and having no control over it. ha ha. it's always been a balm to me, to remember that there is goodness and love preserved in artwork, and that artwork is tougher and longer-lasting than you'd initially think, and that it's always there waiting for me to come back to it and see it in a different emotional state to find new meanings in it. this is the same as how theo thinks about the painting thru different times in his life!! going from needing it desperately as a connection to his mom, obsessively as a comfort, and then reviling it for being a representation of his life's biggest trauma and yet still tending to it and caring for it, to the heartache of losing it and the relief of retrieving it with the one person who genuinely loves him as an act of devotion and apology for a previous betrayal....all while navigating how systems in power are neglectful and uncaring and capitalistic. it's all just So Much To Me.....

and I know the middle chapters where theo just goes on and on about the intricacies of antique forgery aren't as fun and sexy as the vegas chapters with boris (underage drug abuse and gay sex WHEEEEEE) OR the actual criminal chapters at the end (mysterious borderline-noir criminal heist slash subtextual romcom), but they're soooo so poignant to me. because in my own little life, curating the art and music around me and finding beauty and importance and symbolism in these subtle things is a vital central axis that i need to have, much like i need a nice bed or a good meal or a glass of clean water. much of how i cope and navigate the world is very deeply focused around art & art analysis, and I think the only other book i've read that articulated that sort of feeling quite as eloquently would be john berger's way of seeing, which is an academic and analytical text. but i just love fiction so much, so to have tgf as the extremely emotional fiction option to go along w my nonfiction art thesis books that are tonally very prim and objective and well organized..... DELICIOUS. i love it. and i love a fictive narrative built upon tragedy. i love works that call back to each other in conversation, and stories that cannot exist without the foundation of Something Else Existing A Millennia Prior. i love comparing works and establishing what makes them similar or different but how they approach the same themes. and i love to see characters (THEO. boris. pippa. hobie. andy.) that i can identify with who struggle with similiar problems i have, because it makes it easier for me to get thru my own life. this isn't groundbreaking reasoning though, that's just how every human alive consumes art and content. of course we look for ourselves in fiction. of course we as individuals want to find things that we relate to.

and also in a purely self-indulgence way, I also looooooove it when media is unbearably long and i can get completely entranced and study it closely and always be able to find new details that throw the whole story into a completely new light, which I think tgf does very well because it's almost 900 pages LMAO. every time i reread it there's a new nuanced angle for me to think about actions and thoughts leading into consequences and i just eat that up every single time.......

but despite all of this i do recognize that tgf is not everyone's cup of tea. like it's genuinely one of the most meaningful texts in my heart but i completely understand how it can be long, and boring, and melodramatic, and a bit insane, and convoluted, and pompous, and not worth the time to get from cover to cover.

but it is worth the time. to me.

[hufflepuffinstorybrooke]

Please Don’t Hate Me

I need to start by stating that I really liked the Red, White, and Royal Blue movie. The cast and crew were amazing and this was a sorely necessary movie in the queer community as far as representation goes. I am also really bad at separating a movie from its source material. So this is just an opinion on some representation, both feminine and queer, that I wish had been in the movie.

First, with the female representation. Most obviously, the fact that June was written out, Princess Catherine was absent, and Queen Mary was switched to King James III.

Even while Alex is the main character, June is the heart of the Claremont-Diaz family. Alex and Ellen are too wrapped up in caring for the nation that they can sometimes forget that they need looking after themselves.

Combine this with keeping Ellen married to Oscar (she and Oscar are too similar, but Leo took care of her) and taking away some of her more nurturing characteristics (good thing bad thing), Alex’s family seems less supportive in the movie than the book.

This is similar to the problem I have with removing Princess Catherine. Henry has Bea’s support, but with the watered down Bea, that’s almost an empty corner. Princess Catherine is what forces the Queen to support Henry and Alex, and that is the first time Henry has felt a parent’s love since his father died. It’s just so important to his story, but I can understand why it was cut.

But why did they have to water Bea down so much? I don’t need the Powder Princess scandal, but if Bea is Henry’s only support, show that she is strong enough to back him for real. Throw her in a leather jacket, send her out to a party with the group, and show an electric guitar in the corner of the music room. It didn’t have to be anything big, but give her back her fire!

Then there’s Queen Mary, which I don’t really mind the switch since it gave us Stephen Fry as King James and the prime minister was a woman. I just felt like it lost some of the symbolism of the female heads of the nations and their opposite viewpoints on FirstPrince and tradition.

Lastly, there’s Nora. I liked her, I really did, but I wish they had mentioned that she went to MIT, even just Alex calling her MIT like he does in the book. There are places of higher learning, particularly in STEM, that kept women out for far too long. It would have been a great boost to show a woman being a graduate of the most well known technical institute in the country.

The only woman I was completely satisfied with was Zahra, they kept her as tough as nails!

Before I start on queer representation, remember that I do realize how important this movie is as a mainstream representation of queer love. However:

By taking out June, they took away the June/Nora/Pez relationship. I personally think that June and Nora were in a relationship and Pez just joined in while he’s in town. But still, a polyamorous secondary relationship in a rom com would have been nice.

That also takes away Nora’s bisexuality, which is just bi erasure! (And I know Alex says he’s bi, but that scene when Zahra calls him and Henry homosexuals bothers me! It erases Alex’s bisexuality!)

Rafael Luna was a huge impact on Alex, and showing an openly gay senator would have been amazing.

I am glad that, since they only kept one secret service agent, that they kept Amy. However, I do miss Cash and his pansexual jean jacket!

Moving on to Amy, I don’t mind that they didn’t mention that she is trans, especially since she is played by a trans actress and that was only brought up in Alex’s thoughts in the book. I do wish she had brought up her wife. There was such a good window of opportunity when she and Alex are talking about her dog. “You know my wife and I named our dog Jonathan.”

The addition of Miguel Ramos brings in the “gays are evil and vindictive” stereotype. Especially considering he was the only other openly queer person in the movie

On a lighter, headcanon note, I see Bea as at least ace, if not aroace, which sucks that it wasn’t included, but it makes sense since it’s not canon. Also, Princess Catherine cuffs her jeans, so she’s obviously bi lol

Again, the book is perfection, and I love the movie in its own right too. These are just some things that were missed or added that I wish changed in the movie!

[quetzalpapalotl]

Now that I finished the full re-read, I just want to ramble how I think Mtmte/LL and ExRID/OP compare.

Mtmte has the better start, not because exRID is bad, but because Mtmte is so good. JRo is really good at presenting things like worldbuilding, personalities and dynamics with just a few words while still carrying a lot of nuance.

Character interactions will keep on being JRo's strong suit until the end, which fits the kind of story he's doing. In very broad terms Mtmte/LL is a road trip story, while ExRID/OP is a political story. While Barber will get better at fun interactions, his priorities are other, so it can be jarring to read exRID if you were expecting something more like Mtmte (but really, I doubt anything else in Transformers will be like Mtme).

Barber can do pretty good character work, but characters will come in and out of focus and their stories are relevant to the themes of the narrative, and he's not as good as JRo as setting up characters in a way that once they come back into focus you can clearly see all that was brewing up in the background.

Both series deal with the past, or rather, Mtmte deals with the past, while exRID deals with history. Mtmt's setting in the past and processed in the present, but the road trip setting allows a detachment from it. Whereas in exRID the past is very much alive and transforming in the present politics, it's not over yet, it's a story about cycles.

What Barber excels at it's thematic consistency. Pre and post Dark Cybertron exRID are very different stories which may be jarring for some, but they maintain a link by being about the struggles to maintain peace in a post war world where everyone is resentful of everyone.

It's also because of this that I feel OP has the better ending compared to LL (not because I dislike the LL ending where everyone kinda drifts away, just to be clear, I like that). While reading LL is never boring as just seeing these people talk it's always entertaining, the whole thing kinda feels like it starts to fall apart on the seams. It may be the earlier cancellation, to change in editor or that it never quite recovered from the diversion that was Megatron, but while it stills hits some nice moments at the end, it doesn't feel as structured as it was at the beginning.

Barber knew how this story was going to end since after Dark Cybertron (to be fair so did JRo) and everything he wrote worked towards it, so that when you're done and see the whole picture, it feels like a complete story. He strongly tied the themes to its focus characters, it's a story about symbols, so it's a story about Optimus Prime, so even when Optimus is not present it's still somewhat about him. He effectively uses character's internal monologues to tie everyone to one another and to the whole picture. And then Arcee stands in as a representation of Cybertron's history itself and her growth signifies the hope for the future and. As long as Barber fulfilled Optimus and Arcee's arcs the narrative would also be fulfilled. Comapred this to Mtmte/LL where Rodimus arc is kinda... left hanging

Anyway, they're both pretty good and very dear to me, but they're different stories despite a lot of overlaping themes, so they should be approached differently.

[respectthepetty]

Get To Know Your BL Mutuals

tagged by @kwonzoshi

Simple, answer the questions. @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answers!

What has been the BL that took you by surprise this year?

Old Fashion Cupcake. It came out of nowhere! One random day Viki uploaded the first episode, and was like “You wanna watch an oddly named show from Japan?” and my my my (sing it like Troye Sivan) it hit every sweet spot. The scene that was done all in one sequence?! I’m still there. I’m living in that scene. I only come out because I have to pay bills. I’m going to rewatch it for the 80th time now.

What has been the BL that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

It would have been Oh! My Sunshine Night, but it seemed to embrace its messiness (adding more episodes on the day of the finale!) in a way that I love (amnesia?! a murder plot?! a bubble bath?!!!!) so…

Between Us. It’s the same issue I had with Until We Meet Again. I don’t know how Win and Team’s plot is going to carry over for twelve episodes. We keep getting snippets of In and Korn (TW, please), and shots of Dean and Pharm, but we already know their story, so it’s like recycled plot with a new scent. It’s nice to see Dean not so robotic (“fuck off”) and Pharm not being infantilized, but on top of Alphabet Soup’s issues with Prince Charming, a drowning, Manow doing her (keep it up, we love it!), Tul and Wan’s Gameboys moment, baby Santa looking adorable as Wiew, the product placement of what is clearly NOT water, and the daddy issues (actual issues with their father and not Love in the Air daddy issues), I don’t know how this souffle is going to rise. However, it’s not even close to being finished, so I’m excited to watch how it bakes.

What has been your favorite BL this year?

Love Mechanics. I’m trash for VeeMark’s throat grabs. Trash! Vee being a topsy-turvy bisexual who couldn’t get his shit together is the bisexual representation I want. How many bisexuals do we know who have their shit together? Not a damn one. This show is basically a documentary. Then, Mark being the ultimate Sour Patch Kid who is willing to fist fight his father only made the dynamic between a gay and his huge red flag that much better.

Favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

MaxTul are my anything and everything. Korn and Knock. Tan and Bun. Sequels. Prequels. Unconfirmed projects – WHERE IS TRANSPLANT?! It always blows my mind that they are the same age, if not younger than another long-established pair, and came out the gate slutting up our screens. Not even making it a competition, it’s just wild to me that they did the devil’s tango day one, which we see more often now, and held a gun to each other’s head two years ago so DanYok, ToddBlack, KinnPorsche, and VegasPete could fly (I see you HIStory 3: Trapped. Taiwan, you're still my #1). They remind me of a Taiwanese couple with the domestic bliss, the high heat, and the batshit craziness, and I hope they live long and happy lives.

If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?

To My Star 1 AND 2. Yeah, I wrote that. Not just To My Star, but To My Star 2 as well. The reasons speak for themselves, but just in case, never forget his lip was bleeding.

What's your non-BL favorite for this year?

Our Flag Means Death. I only support the girls, the gays, and the goths, so I was happily surprised that I was, in fact, supporting an entire ship of gays and their support goth with this show about pirates. If you think I’m crazy about colors and symbolism in BLs, imagine me watching this show when Ed started wearing color compared to his usual black and wore Stede’s RED robe after Stede gave him a RED cloth, that Ed placed in his pocket where his heart is because Stede gave him love only to throw it in the wind when…

Let me calm down. This show was glorious, and I’m delighted it got a second season. De. Light. Ed.

So who wants to go next? Tag as many or as few people as you want.

Have to tag the color and location mutuals: @gillianthecat @dribs-and-drabbles @waitmyturtles @sliceduplife @callipigio

[lej222]

Your answer to the last anon who asked about Cheol and Miae made me wonder something. Do you think the webtoon will end with their middle school graduation and some sort of epilogue? Or maybe it will go on to flesh out their high school years as well?

I think that it will end with their middle school graduation. The last year of the century is referenced in the title which is a significant date. It symbolically serves as a transition period between childhood and adulthood in the story. We still have summer break and the second semester to cover until then. As soon as the new century (or even millenium if you argue for year 2000 being the start of it) starts, Miae will have to go to high school and make new friends, have new experiences. This significant turn is closely connected to the date of the story - just like how the world is entering a new phase, Miae will also have to emotionally mature and grow up. The story, in my opinion, is a good representation of one's final years as a child before they have to step outside of their little bubble of innocence.

'Unripe apple' is also an important symbol in the title. Miae and her friends are 'unripe apples' - kids who still have a lot to learn and mature. No surprise it appears in one of the most meaningful illustrations in chapter 2 after the narrator says Cheol will be someone Miae will never forget. We can see Cheol falling with his bike while Miae is giving him a green apple - probably signifying that in the first half of the story it's Miae who helps Cheol to mature emotionally with her 'knowledge' (nice Bible allusion there btw). In the next important illustration which I believe comes at the end of the chapter where Miae and Jisu start their detention week, the kids are all standing on the globe in different positions. It could mean that as teenagers they all feel like they are center of their own universe and they are all connected by an unknown fate that guides them through their journey. Miae is looking at Cheol, but she stands at the same spot as Jisu - it really shows how their lives are interconnected through time and space (not necessarily in a romantic sense). The recent chapters are the culmination of this strong fate motif that appears in Miae's relationships.

So I personally don't believe that the theme of the story fits the high school setting, but rather it will end with their middle school graduation. What I can imagine is an epilogue chapter where fate somehow makes them meet again but as more mature individuals. 🙂 I can always be wrong though, these are just my thoughts.

Edit: one another great interpretation would be how Nostredamus predicted that the world will end in 1999 and the story is actually about the ending of Miae's years as an ignorant child. And as we know the world we know didn't end that year, just how Miae's life would go on entering a new phase of her life, closer to adulthood. 1999 is a symbolic ending of the world, it's actually the transition period between different states of being!🙂

[once1upon1a1wonderland]

I Wonder What Ramshackle Is Based Off Of..... Part 2

Okay, so back to the pictures....

(Still may contain Spoilers for book 6....)

Contin. with pictures of ramshackle after a good scrub down:

And now finally, after the redesign:

(I know the bedroom is not really redesigned but rather just an image created by the magical projector, but I'm including it anyway.)

Alright, so yeah ramshackle and the main school building have a lot of similar colors going on. Same with the library. Which I guess makes sense..... Anyways, my point with these posts are simply that; what if the only reason for ramshackle originally existing was simply to just have a place to house students while the other dorms were being built?

I agree that there are still some mysteries surrounding Ramshackle. Like, I don't entirely buy Crowleys reason that he gave for the dorm becoming abandoned in the first place..... And honestly dude.... why on earth did you let it fall to such disrepair......

But at any rate, perhaps ramshackle was just the temporary dorm at one point. After the dorms dedicated to the great 7 were finished, would ramshackle have still been in use? Maybe. It's possible..... and would ramshackle have had students assigned to it? Again, perhaps..... It's interesting to think about. Like, what if someone came to the school and didn't really match up enough with any of the great 7? What if they had a soul that could hold a little bit of each of the great 7? Like ramshackle could have been a place that was continued to be put to use for a time even after the other dorms were completed. And could have been used as a place where certain individuals represented all of the great 7 as a whole. (Considering that no one has been assigned to this dorm again for years, my guess would be maybe the dark mirror knows to not assign anyone there anymore.... I don't know.) Or maybe it was just the temporary dorm building. Still, it's fun to speculate.

Now our little building is just this abandoned place that no one goes near.... well except for Malleus. Hey, if you want a guaranteed spot to hang out and be alone where no one will find you, Ramshackle is perfect!

Anyways, there is the obvious elephant in the room that could point to what Ramshackle represents symbolically.

What about Mickey?

Well, I don't know the significance of that yet.... I don't know if he's there largely to just pay homage to the character that helped build the Disney company, or if there really will be a bigger reason as to why he's there in the mirror.... I mean I would hope so.... otherwise it would be too random.... (I swear if there is any information on him for book 7, DO NOT COMMENT IT, please. I want to go in blind when book 7 releases. I started the game blind and that's how I'll continue through it. When I first found out about this game I had only seen like two advertisements for it..... and it was teaser stuff. Well, one was a teaser. The other I believe was the main music video. At any rate, I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. Didn't know who the characters were or anything.... Yet somehow, I was intrigued. So please, I would appreciate no spoilers... I know, it's exciting to share stuff... I honestly dont know how I've actually managed to avoid seeing things on social media so far....)

Okay, tangent aside, the room that we sleep in with the mirror, is largely based off of an animated short called: Thru the Mirror.

I think a lot of people know that by now right? Either way, here are the comparison pics:

Very reminiscent of the animated short. It's a nice homage to that animated short. Even if in the end story wise, Ramshackle doesn't represent Mickey Mouse directly, it's cool that they loosely base it off of him...

Actually, you know what? Maybe Ramshackle, or whatever the dorm used to be referred to as, is loosely based off of the mouse.... This is where the symbolic representation comes in. The story starts when the main character is brought into this world right? And then the dreams starting when we're getting close to someone overblotting and after spending that first night in the room..... So Actually, it's fitting that Ramshackle be based off of Mickey. After all, it was all started by a mouse.

And as a side note: Fitting that Pomefiore was the first dorm constructed. For Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, was the one that started them all. (Referring of course to it being the first of many feature length animated films to come.)

That's all I have to say about ramshackle for now. Let me know what you think about the significance of Ramshackle (unless it gives way to chapter 7 spoilers....)

But yeah, until next time!

[gayofthefae]

Most seasons of Stranger Things could have ended there if they cut out the final little cliffhangers and been a great, fine show, but the more I think about it, the more it’s clear thematically they were always going to continue.

I’m thinking about specifically the seasons with the most closure: 1 and 2. These endings were both some level of sweet and felt like they had closure. But they have one distinct commonality. They both completely disregard the hero’s journey, which would be incredibly ironic to end there when you think about how important concepts like that are to the characters themselves. They’re happy endings, yes, but in a way that implies things can return to normal after major trauma like that.

The hero’s journey is that you will go on your adventure and return home, but things will never truly be the same as you are not the same person you were before. So, though it’s sweet on the surface, the season 1 and 2 endings never really made sense with the goal of accurate trauma representation through monster allegories we saw in the show. If you dug a little deeper, you would have seen it as inconsistent.

This is also why I’m so excited for season 5 and that they have taken it this far.

Of course El would need to start making girl friends and figure out who she is independently! Of course Will would feel like life is moving on with out him and the original plan is changing because of what they’ve all gone through and the people who have joined them! Of course Mike would be struggling to balance the relationships in his life that are no longer just the original party always hanging out in one group setting!

Of course there are real world repercussions of their trauma symptoms that interfere with their fairytale happy endings. Because Stranger Things was never supposed to be a fairytale. It’s supposed to be a hero’s journey. At the end of a hero’s journey, you don’t run away into the sunset. You never do. You find peace.

But at the end of seasons 1 and 2, they ran off into the sunset. Which is nice. But looking back since they’ve continued, it makes complete sense why they couldn’t and clearly never meant to do that. Because it just doesn’t fit. It’s like a mix of genres. Yes, it is a happy ending, and yes, it is wrong. Both can be true. Because they are representing real people and real trauma through an exaggerated, supernatural lens. Real trauma symptoms.

They talk about puberty in season 3 and the symbolism of that but I think really what it is - what this weird, hard line between season 2 and 3 seems to be - is that all that trauma caught up to them. They tried to go back to normal. And they couldn’t. They get swept up by the supernatural again but what we see in those first few episodes of seasons 3 and 4 is that their “nerdiness” isn’t the reason they can’t be “normal” anymore. Their experiences prevent them from going back to even the way they were before. Because that’s how it works. 

And that’s the entire message of the show. To not try so hard to be “normal”. But now it’s extending not just to social norms but also to our own definitions of “normal” or staying inside the boxes we’ve made for ourselves that hinder our growth. Every time we define our lives as anything and expect permanence from that definition, it’s a hinderance.

So I am very excited at all the directions the writers are showing they’ve known to go down this whole time. El isn’t running off into the sunset with a savior, she’s becoming independent from the men in her life. Will won’t just be granted safety but happiness, because that was never too much to ask. 

And so many more (there are a lot of characters. I will typically just go for my faves/the ones I’ve already analyzed the most for examples)

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Mandalorian: The Return (3x08)

In all, this season of The Mandalorian was pretty baffling. I've chose to just sort of... go with it, accept what we've been given instead of trying to question the shape of things too much.

Cons:

I don't really care about powerful, special, one-of-a-kind weapons, but I did think it was very odd that the Dark Saber met such a strange, unceremonious end. Mostly because symbolically, it was this whole big deal that Bo-Katan had earned it, and her place as the head of Mandalore or whatever. I actually think a more powerful symbol would be her giving the weapon away at some point just like Din did with her, thus confirming that the Mandalorians don't need a specific gadget or tool in order to be honorable and fierce leaders. Instead, the bad guy just destroys it, and all that buildup around who gets the sword just felt like wasted time in retrospect? I don't know. Sort of odd.

So, I obviously love any scene where Grogu and Din Djarin are fighting side by side, desperately protecting one another at all costs... but in watching this finale, this long, drawn-out action sequence with Moff Gideon's Beskar-wearing storm troopers going toe-to-toe with the Mandalorians, I kept thinking about last season's finale. How the action was all tied up in Grogu specifically. How he had been taken, and Din was doing anything he possibly could to get him back. And how in the end, he had to let him go. This time, it's just... there are bad guys in the room, and they're trying to kill everybody in front of them because they want control of this planet. Grogu doesn't seem to have any special significance to them at all. It would have been easy enough to adjust this: play up the fact that Grogu is a Jedi, or at least a Jedi in training. Play up the fact that he represents the enemy of Moff Gideon on two different accounts, both as a Mandalorian and as a Jedi. There could have been something there, and instead the peril felt by our main characters felt rather incidental to the actual goal of the villains.

Ultimately, I liked this episode quite a bit, which I'll talk about in a second, but since it's the end of the season, it really brings to focus all the strangeness with the pacing, and the lack of focus on our lead characters. Grogu and Din just kind of... happened to be around for a lot of shit that went down. Mando's dedication to his people is touching, but then in the end, even though Mandalore is reformed and habitable, Mando is just going off to keep being a bounty hunter, working for the New Republic on a freelance basis. It feels very... full circle, would be the nice way of saying it, but honestly it feels kind of odd that after a whole season, our characters aren't really up to anything new that we haven't seen from them before.

Pros:

So, I really liked the action! That's a good place to start. Not much to say about it, but there was a good mix of aerial fighting between various flying armored men, there were ships, there were one-on-one intense battles between Gideon and Djarin, and then later Gideon and Bo-Katan... there was Grogu pulling out some seriously cool Jedi flips to keep himself safe from various attackers. All of it was dynamic and interesting and at times legitimately stressful!

As much as I've struggled to understand the way they've positioned Bo-Katan's character as sort of the unofficial lead of this season, I loved the moment when she took over the Gideon fight and told Djarin to go save his kid. That was a good representation of what their dynamic is: she is fighting her political rival for control of her planet and its sacred significance to her people. And Din just wants to make sure Grogu is safe! It's his ultimate purpose. I love that.

For now, it appears that Moff Gideon is dead, but before his death, we did see that he was endeavoring to create clones of himself. While the clones were seemingly destroyed, this does leave open the possibility of other Gideons hanging about somewhere waiting to pop up and be evil later down the line! I absolutely loathed the final Star Wars movie with Palpatine coming back and all that stupid nonsense, but I guess I do appreciate how we get these hints here in this show of the path that will lead to those later movies; I am a sucker for some cinematic universe continuity.

Obviously the best part of the episode is that Din Djarin formally adopts Grogu as his son, making him Din Grogu! It makes me emotional just thinking about it. I love that Djarin wants to take him on as an apprentice, wants to honor Grogu's place among their people, but because he's not old enough to officially take on the creed (he can't speak for himself), he needs parental permission. When Din makes the offer, and the Armorer says "this is the way", I got a little misty-eyed. Now, with the potential to take contracts all set up with Teva, and a nice little cottage on Nevarro, this father and son duo can relax and adventure as they so choose!

I think ultimately what this season has given us is the opportunity for Din and Grogu to hang out and go on little episodic jaunts for as long as people want to keep watching the show. And I kind of like that. I like the idea of having a fun sorta cowboy space show about a helmet-wearing father and his little puppet son that I can just chill out with. The issue is, this show also seems to care about expanding the world and explaining the political structures of things, of setting up this series as a bridge between other Star Wars properties with which we are already familiar. Both are worthy goals. I'm just not sure how well they're being meshed together at this point. We'll see what happens next, when this show returns probably in like two years or something. All in all, this wasn't a "good" season of TV, but I still had an okay time!

8/10

[stagefoureddiediaz]

5x11 Costume meta

Now I’ve had a little time to process here is the 5x11 meta. 

Lets start at the beginning and work our way through!!

May is in yellow and stripes!! - so we are getting communication - and a change of direction - in this instance she is communicating about Eddies change of direction from firefighter to public service officer!

Then we get to the Eddie montage which I wrote about in my sneak peak meta so I’m just gonna post it below to save repeating myself!

I couldn’t resist topless stretching Eddie 

Eddies colour palette appears to have been reduced down to black, white and  grey - those are the only colour tees we’re seeing him in that clip - there is literally no colour left in his world - other than the blue of his uniform - and when you’ve reduced your world down like that and your job isn’t fulfilling - well we all know how its going to go - on the floor sobbing! They are also slightly over sized - the life he’s now living doesn’t fit him and its sucking the life out of him, the fact that they’re a bit looser on him is designed to show a bit of weight loss - a symbol of depression, but also if al he’s got is a treadmill then he’s going to be getting leaner - loosing the conditioning that he gets from weightlifting as part of his firefighter life - getting that conditioning back will be a bit like the mental journey he’s about to go through!

all of those tees are new tees - symbolic of new era (they haven’t been broken down to make them look lived in as wardrobe would normally do) - they are fresh out the packet crisp (think about the one in 2x07 when he gets dressed after sex with Shannon - stretched out and worn looking!) but them being so new and crisp is also a sign of Eddie trying to re-invent himself as this new ‘safer’ not at risk person.

Sweat - he is working hard at going nowhere - a nice little touch!

but in addition - now we have the full scene we can see the transition from no shirt -singlets - tees all in black white or grey  -the transition from being ‘okay’ with his choice to becoming increasingly worn down and unsatisfied by it - literally covering himself more and more and building up a protective barrier. The other interesting thing is his boots - which are scuffed and not looking particularly smart - again a sign that not all is ok - its the little things that start to slip first - so these boots looking less than perfectly polished is a manifestation of that - Eddie was in the military those boots would in normal circumstances be immaculate and highly polished.

Then we get to the dinner/kitchen scene!

Eddie’s semi transparent shirt is showing us that he’s more transparent than he thinks - that he’s not doing as good a job as he thinks of hiding the truth - that he wants to be a firefighter again the shirt is a representation of his defences (especially around Buck and Chris)are wearing thin! Chris being in the grey jumper - he is the most wrapped up of those at the table and is therefore the most protected -  the grey is showing that he is neutral and we don’t really get anything from him to contradict this (except when he teams up with Buck to deliver some amazing sass). 

We also have Taylor in a green semi transparent printed shirt - we see her in a fair amount of green and the print is again hinting at confusion - she is clearly trying to figure out what is going on between Buck and Eddie (small aside Taylor saying ‘is that possible’ after Buck stating that Eddie will be back at he firehouse has me ) because they are not subtle!!

Buck is in navy blue for this scene (we do get  tiny peek at a white vest under the shirt) v Eddie being in white in white - this is very much intentional - it is a reverse parallel of the shooting only the shots being fired are verbal ones and the one left bleeding this time is Buck, while Eddie is left covered in metaphorical blood - which he hasn’t yet realised and the blood is Bucks trauma at not understanding Eddies decision to leave the 118. The gun/bullet in this scenario is Christopher and Eddies own trauma.

The mom and Dad in the car - wearing red and blue - like i’ve spoken about in this post - but we also have the army green of Eddie worn by the father as well!

 Buck in white at bar - there is obviously the tie in to buck wearing white anti meaning bad things are going to happen and it continues to play out here, but there is also something in the choice of a hoodie for me as well especially because we see him (from Eddies perspective) bathed in light - it is a contrast to everyone else in the scene - they are all in semi darkness and wearing darker tones - they are very much playing into renaissance religious iconography - portraying Buck as an angel - the hood of the hoodie forming a sort of halo (in Eddie’s eyes as we view it from his perspective / but also a bit of Lucifer moment - Eddie feeling betrayed by his most loyal friend but also Buck later on betraying how far he has come as a person and showing how far he is going to fall.

I am very  👀👀👀 the fact that  Lucy is in army green - in the same way that they’ve used this colour to parallel Taylor with Eddie before (and indeed in this very episode!), it feels to me like they are doing it again here with Lucy - we’ll have to see if that continues.

its also interesting to note the difference in the layers they’re wearing - Lucy is much less covered up - more open, whereas Buck is protecting himself by wearing a thick hoodie and a jacket, but those layers to protect himself are also him wearing a mask - hence the return of Buck 1.0 - its easy to slip into something you’re familia with that you’ve used as a form of protection in the past!

Eddie in black and Khaki jacket - the same style he wears when in mourning - the loss of Shannon, his firefam, his job that he loves etc at the bar - he is mourning his friendships and what he has lost/ given up for Christopher - its highlighting his disconnect from everything that is important to him - tying in with the past things that meant the same.

Keeping Bobby in an LAFD tee and then having Athena in a white jumper - more costume paralleling between Athena and Buddie - especially interesting when you look at the two conversations in those scenes - moving on?!!!

Chris space theme pajamas make a return - and accompanied by striped sleeves - stripe theory for the win - Eddie is changing direction again and the  universe is still screaming at him!

The grey jacket looks to be the same (or very similar) as the one Eddie wears to therapy later in the season. its paired with a light shirt here - when Eddie is feeling hopeful of his return to firefighting whereas paired with the grey later shows how far Eddie is going to descend in to the murky depths of his trauma - he views this moment as his opportunity to save himself - to be able to shut that storage locker back up and not deal with the things that we’ve seen increasingly running through his mind as the episode has progressed

Bobby in dark red parallel with buck lawsuit. there are a couple of parallels - Bobby in the same role is in the same colour way for both scenes, where as Eddie and Buck, while both in jackets, Eddie is in another semi transparent tee - Bobby has seen that Eddie is not doing well mentally and try to push him in the direction of therapy (fully knowing that he has already filled Eddies job) whereas Buck in his button down shirt in the the one firing the initial shot in 3x06 - it is about the formality of a lawsuit versus the comfort of Eddie thinking he would be able to return to his family.

we also get a look at Eddies Watch in this scene - it pops into view while Bobby is talking about taking the time to carry for your wellbeing 

I’m very interested that we’ve seen Buck start to wear a watch out of work in 5x11 - its not something he’s done a lot before, but in this episode - every scene out of work - he’s been wearing his watch!

he’s also in black and yes - that shirt has a tiny pattern on it - there is definite mirroring of the I love you scene here - Buck doing something he’s not really on board with - confessing love and having Taylor move in - sticking plasters on a fractured relationship.

Taylor wearing a triangle necklace when Buck fails to tell her about kissing Lucy 👀👀

One last thing to notice about the costuming of Buck and Eddie throughout 5x11 is that both their colour palettes have been matched up - we only see them wear black, white, navy, green or grey - especially in key moments - and always in opposite of each other - when Eddie is in black, Buck is in white such as at the bar or when Eddie is in white then Buck is in dark navy in the kitchen scene. the same is true for those last two scenes we see them in - Eddie trying to return to the 118 is wearing a white shirt, while Buck trying to confess to his girlfriend is in black - these are interesting because we enter those scenes with a hopeful Eddie and a Buck full of dread - the colours reflect this and by the end of those scenes you could say the opposite is true - they’ve reversed - I know that is an overly simplistic way to describe where they are mentally but that its a bigger thing that the two small moments which will add to the mental health pile, but thats not wha these costumes are about.

Hopefully this has been interesting and helpful! any questions - my inbox is open (work has got busy, so it might take me a little while to reply, but I will answer you!) 💜💜💜

tagging for interest @prettyboyandthekid @adamsparirsh @theladyyavilee @oneawkwardcookie @lovecolibri @loveyourownsmiilee @leothil @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @moniquekatie @reallysmartladymariecurie @kitkatpancakestack @yramesoruniverse @outrunningthedark @ktinastrikesback @arrenemris @talespinner230 @mytherapybuddie @fiona-fififi​

[h7jfangirl]

TGS chapter 12's cover!

And how I said before, Hyde appears!

First of all: I really love the colors of this cover, the black and gold convination is fantastic and you can feel how Hyde is suffering while nobody is doing nothing to help him.

Now, let's start from the description of this page

When I read this for the first time I didn't catch it, I though they were literally saying that although Hyde was shown in agony on the cover, the chapter was going to be calmer than it seemed

So at first I was like:

But then I read the comments and I understood that Sabrina was being sarcastic (JAJAJSJ).

So, analyzing Sabrina's words we can realize that it reveals a little about what the chapter was mainly about:

The chapter will be about Hyde suffering the concequences of his actions while Jekyll decides to confront Laynon with his feelings, something that could affect Hyde in a worse or better way (Knowing that Hyde usually use Henry's negative emotions to escape from a emotional problem. But Edward could be inside of a deep part of Jekyll's mind where the negative emotions that Henry can feel are even more stronger and dangerous than before, so Hyde would be in a lot of trouble with the same things he once use for his own benefit.

Now let's analyze the cover image:

"The image is of Hyde being taken over by dark forces on top of a stage while many upper-class viewers watch it as a fantastic spectacle"

This is clearly symbolic, I don't think real magic dark tentacles grab Hyde on a stage and the viewers think it's part of the show LMAO. BUT what are exactily thoses dark forces?

Maybe they are the actual representation of Hyde's OWN INSECURITIES, due to everything he went through in chapter 10 Hyde's ego was very damaged and from that new insecurities were formed about himself, being such doubts as "Will I be free" or even existential questions like "Who I am?" That tun into these powerful dark forces that have manifested for drag him into the darkest part of the mind, where he belongs

For one night, he will face and feel all the fear and stress Jekyll felt cause of him, while outside of his mind the exhibition begins and Henry faces one of his own fears...

I think about the possibility that the chapter takes place on the night of the big exhibition, because in the small spoilers of Sabrina on Twitter Henry and Laynon are seen with elegant clothes. However, there is also the great possibility that it could be a Jekyll or Laynon flashback where we are shown that we still did not see EVERYTHING in the last chapter, i think so because we only see them in those suits. But at least we know that the exhibition is very close.

But then if the spoilers about Henry and Laynon are just a flashback, then the chapter would be about Jekyll remembering the little confrontation he had with Robert while Hyde suffers in the depths of his mind and he doesn't realize? Or maybe...

EVIL JEKYLL???

Nah, I don't think so but it would be super hyper mega cool. Henry being able to somehow control the shadows so they will take Hyde inside his mind and lock him in the deepest, even if it was for just one night (Surely because the poor guy just wants to sleep). It would make sense if we take into account that he will be able to empower himself with Frankenstein (According to Sabri's wip on Twitter)

So why not with Hyde too? He actually did it in the last panel of chapter 10!.

Well, whatever what will happend in this chapter, we don't have to wait to long, because nexts uptade comes next week!

So~ I'm ending the post here, thanks for take the time to read this. I'm so sorry about my bad english, i had to use Google translator for this but I hope you liked it!

I Will love to see your theorys and thoughs about this chapter in the comments!

So yeah, goodbye and have a nice day! 💕✨

[persephoneyss]

Doomeds.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x f! Reader. Ft. Bts.

Genre: Yandere, dark themes, anguish, suspense.

Summary: ❝We are doomeds, wandering in eternal suffering.❞

Warnings: Yandere behavior, obsession, stalking / stalking on cameras, humiliation, unspecified forced marriage, n*n-c*n explicit sexual relations (on the reader), abuse of power, implicit murder, drug use, kidnapping, hitting, manipulation, dating previous trauma, alcoholism and depression (in Yoongi), accusations of infidelity, dub-con (in Yoongi's case), the reader is in school but is of legal age, death threats, really strange facts. Possibly this would qualify as dark fantasy since everything is so unrealistic.

Number of words: 10,000+

︙Author's note: *sighs* This is the longest fic I've ever written, and I honestly don't know how it turned out because I didn't read it twice like I always do before publishing it. But my beautiful baby helped me correct, I hope you enjoy it and please read the warnings well, I do not want lawsuits. Thanks for being here!

(Sorry for any mistakes, my first language is not English and I am not fluent either.)

Puedes leer este fic y más aquí en español.

If they ever had to ask the reality of events it would be ... Unbelievable. Thinking of how just a simple action changes everything in an already established and perfect environment.

A life.

Your minutes, hours and days were the same under your criteria and eyesight, you study in the mornings, you work in the afternoons and you attend to your homework at night. It was a good routine that used to be repetitive at times, it was fun to follow, even more so in your part-time job.

You could meet many people working in one of the best cafes in the city, your classmate insisted too many times that you work with her saying that could recommend you and you should not even pass a test, they would only accept you for her.

It was a good opportunity and you accepted it with a smile, although she was long gone from work, you were still grateful for the good salary and health insurance that they gave you every month.

"An American coffee with a spoon of sugar and a green tea cake with cream on top." Your mouth and hand move in sync, the client nods silently. You smile, pointing out other details before asking what name you would give the order.

With a sigh, he name came out like a gust of light wind. "Min... Min Yoongi."

You write his name on the screen, the little receipt paper comes out of the machine. You hand it to him by brushing his hand with yours, strangely cold and pale. A chill runs through you but you ignore it, continuing with your work.

"Good Morning _____!" One of the employees greets you kindly, you correspond still concentrated on serving the mysterious stranger's coffee. "Do you have a request for me?"

"Oh, uh... Yeah, this is for table four."

Yun smiles taking the tray with Yoongi's coffee and cake, arriving at his table. The man's expression can be dazzled even under his black mask that covers half of his face, his eyes look for you before colliding with you. YYou refuse to play along, continuing with your work, you had a lot to do and wasting time flirting wouldn't really help you make money.

However, it became pointless trying to ignore him when he kept coming back day after day. Week after week. Tormenting your head, Yoongi was not the first nor the last handsome man you would see coming often, your work establishment was literally in a strategic area and not cheap, you knew that many men and women with money frequented them to drink a coffee or eat some delicacy, even sometimes they only came in to sit for a few hours attending to their affairs over the phone.

It was fine, it was comfortable. You weren't expecting too much, sitting behind a counter, always having to fake a smile despite being tired.

Perhaps it was the constant visits that led you to start a conversation with him. You had about an hour of rest, you prefer to spend those few moments sitting in front of the window of the premises eating any cake that was a few days before expiring to avoid paying for consumption, you felt comfortable in that place that seemed so far from all the other clients.

Until his voice interrupted once, he seemed as calm as ever. His gaze lost from you elsewhere avoiding making contact with you, nervous apparently. His rough and austere tone was changed to a bolder and lower one, asking if he could sit next to you for a few minutes.

"Sure, sit down... he's not busy." It was your answer without having any problem in sharing your place so secret, so comfortable. It was still just as safe even with him present.

And in much the same way, everything became a silent routine. You heeded his order, you took your rest next to him and then you both left at one point. The talks became more common, he being the first to ask about such insignificant things as the rise in the market in the country and how prices should start to rise in coffee as well.

You laughed, you really did it by getting his attention and sharing your reaction.

They both started laughing at how strange it all started, and it was always the perfect anecdote to tell their friends about how they met.

Everything was perfect, like a painting by a great artist, what you would see would be beautiful and cheerful colors, adorning both of you possibly holding hands with a smile and a loving expression from the man who was now your partner. Her pale skin and angelic face represented on beautiful thin paper, presented to the world as a painting that reflected a symbol of love between two souls met in a casual cafe and who wanted each other so much. Too much.

Yoongi was the clear representation of an ethereal person, casual and elegant, polite and kind, protective but not possessive. Simply to the target.

Your routine didn't change much after starting your relationship, you kept walking to your school in the mornings, you attended the cafeteria in the afternoons and you rested at night. Perhaps the only significant thing that you would get out of your boring schedule was your boyfriend's proposal about moving with him to the house of his best friend, almost a brother as he described it, and avoiding paying for your little apartment. You had made one and a thousand excuses, making Yoongi shut them all up.

"Jin is my brother, he would never take advantage of us. I already mentioned the proposal, about you... I have been living there for a few weeks, I assure you that you will be like family."

Family?

Your face relaxed for a few seconds, you had abandoned that feeling and sensation long ago since you moved from your home in your native country. Your mother used to call you every night but little by little that habit was lost, she also had her own problems and being aware of you as if you were a child was ridiculous.

"It's fine." It was your final decision, nervously you moved your hands in the air explaining what you would not accept.

Do not invade your privacy.

You had spent days thinking about how to introduce yourself to them, because apparently there would be more than just Jin, Yoongi and you in that house. Your things were scattered in boxes, you stood in the middle of the almost empty room still nervous about meeting new people and friends of your boyfriend.

That they were now family. Literally family.

The moving truck was parked in front of a large house, it had two stories and an incredibly large garden. More like a forest than an ordinary garden, you got out of the car trying to clean your clothes as much as possible and look presentable. Although it was difficult when your whole body was covered in dust after lifting the boxes.

"I'm not ready, Yoon." You say, containing your anxiety that vibrates to the surface of the skin within you.

Her hand gently brushed your cheek, giving you a bit of reassurance. "You look beautiful, they will accept you anyway." Her lips came up to yours, giving you a quick and soft kiss. "I just remember that I love you, and I know all my brothers will too because you are perfect."

You thanked the little compliment in a whisper, the door of the house opened just after the two of them left, you automatically showed a friendly smile approaching the first person to leave. He was a tall and rather handsome man, he seemed very well dressed to be indoors on a Sunday, more like he was going out to an important business meeting. He looked flawless and elegant.

"The suit was not necessary, Nam!" Shouted your boyfriend behind you mocking, the man laughed showing all the charm of him to your eyes.

"I'm Namjoon, Yoongi's friend. Nice to meet you... _____, right?"

"Yes, it's me. Sorry to see me so disastrous, it was a tiring day with the move."

Namjoon seemed like a very nice and incredibly understanding guy, his presence made you want to meet your boyfriend's other friends. You opened the door entering the house after Yoongi asked you to find your room to start carrying the other things, Namjoon stayed behind to help him, leaving you alone on your unknown route. You walk all over the place and you are surprised that you only walked through the living room, your eyes straying to a noise in the kitchen.

Curious.

You ignore it, continuing your way up, you read every name on the doors. Jin, Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. All written brilliantly on each different door, you walk a few steps to one that says your name and you thank it with a sigh.

You weren't surprised by how big it was, everything inside that place seemed to be exorbitant and out of the ordinary.

"Oh, it must be you." You are surprised to hear a voice behind you, you turn around in fear before remaining calm. You recognized her face from a photo Yoongi had on her phone.

"Jimin?" You ask with fear of being wrong.

"It's me, it's nice to finally meet you. Jin-hyung said you're moving in a few days, I didn't think it would be so soon." His voice seemed to be calm but there was a hidden question. Why? Why were you there?

You take a few uncomfortable steps back. "It really was, but ... I thought it would be better to do it today that I don't have classes, plus Yoongi doesn't work this day and it seemed like the right thing to do. I'm sorry if bother you."

"No you don't. it's okay, Welcome." With that one simple word he left.

You thought you would have a longer talk with him but you weren't expecting too much, they didn't even know each other and you plan to chat with him like they were old acquaintances. Well, naive.

It seemed strange to you that no one else showed up in the whole house, even when you were uploading the last boxes of the move no one seemed to be a little curious to meet you. Aside from the already friendly Namjoon and the reserved Jimin.

"Yoon" You get his attention, he smiles at you taking the sheets out of your suitcase and making your makeshift bed ready for the night. "Do your friends work today?"

"I guess so, they really don't spend a lot of time together or at home." Explain without noticing your downcast face. You nod, putting the issue aside and concentrating your eyes on arranging your clothes. "Hey... Okay, you can meet them all at dinner today."

Your chest clenches in anguish, "Dinner?!"

"Yes, darling. It's the only time they meet all day, when Jin-hyung cooks for us especially on days like these where we have pleasant surprises."

You purse your lips annoyed, Yoongi smiles kissing your forehead so carefully and lovingly that it melts your senses. The mere presence of him made you want to continue with him forever, you relax for a few seconds hugging his body in silence. They both stay like this, with nothing to say but telling each other everything at the same time.

The thought of ever letting go scares you.

You wait several hours, still sitting in the same place where Yoongi left you. You should be presentable for dinner, you take a quick shower before running to change into a nice comfortable dress, you try not to overdo it but also not show disinterest. From the stairs you hear everyone's mixed voices, chatting animatedly.

"Honey, come here." Yoongi watches you, being the only one to notice that you were peeking in the shadows still unsure of interrupting.

You say hello by walking a few steps until you reach your boyfriend's side, you present yourself the best you can. Everyone falls silent, Namjoon smiles at you just like he did before. Jin interrupts the moment where no one seemed to have anything to say about you, or if he wants to want to introduce himself.

"Today we have a special guest, the dear girlfriend of our brother. I introduce myself, I am Jin the official cook of this family." His body bends down with an exaggeratedly long bow, proud of his words. Jimin rolls his eyes, while his other siblings just choose to tease. "On Yoongi's orders we made her favorite dish, so I don't want any complaints of any kind about the food. I'm looking at you Jungkook."

You are surprised how well everything is going, you feel praised when your favorite food is in front of you. She looked just as elegant, as if you were eating in a five-star restaurant and at a luxurious table with silk tablecloths.

Jungkook still stayed away from the talks, preferring to eat quietly and fiddle with his phone. Hoseok was more animated, asking about you and exaggerating anecdotes that happened with his childhood friends. He moved you that he will still remember all that after years. Namjoon vaguely drew your attention with book recommendations when you commented on your love of reading, Jin quietly continued eating in complete tranquility, Jimin thanked the food and just left.

Taehyung... He seemed interesting to you, he was looking at you all the time with narrowed eyes and when Jimin got up and walked away, he followed closely with a small and almost hidden smile.

You had a strange feeling inside what they called home.

"I-I... I need to use the bathroom." You say goodbye by wiping your lips with a napkin before quickly walking behind them both. Something attracted you to want to know more, as if they were leaving clues knowing that curiosity killed the cat and that you wanted to be the one.

Your steps were quiet, even more so when you tried not to be noticed . You went upstairs listening to their voices whispering and then... An obscene moan was clearly heard, Jimin seemed to laugh in the air.

Your hands shook thinking of opening the door and seeing what was happening. And without knowing it, you had fallen into the same network of attraction as them.

You curse yourself biting your tongue and cheek until they bleed, sure that you were going to make a big and heavy mistake. Minutes later you are going down the stairs back to the table but no one is waiting for you anymore, the table was just as spotless and clean. You are pleasantly surprised to learn that they don't treat you like a guest and that they don't wait too long for you. Maybe they had things to do, however you feel a chill when silence comes.

Where were?

You look around the yard, but no one is outside. Neither in the kitchen and less in the room where you had already walked twice. You catch the sound of drums in your ears rumbling loudly, you close your eyes in a daze for a few seconds until in an instant it goes away, and then everything comes back to itself. You hear their voices upstairs, chatting animatedly for the second time.

"Where were you sweetie? Are you okay?"

You nod still confused. How did they... When was that... You were really fine? You refuse to fall into paranoia and lie down next to Yoongi, as they continue their conversation with each other. Your head keeps spinning with the fresh memories you have, but they seem to disappear second by second and it scares you, you open your eyes without wanting to fall asleep yet but it is as difficult as breathing.

You fall into the dark abyss of sleep, feeling the same chill.

Your gaze is lost in the gray sky, you are cold and your body is swaying. Your eyes move restlessly observing that you are under the snow and a person holds you in his arms through the forest, walking at a slow and safe pace.

It's fine. Are you okay.

Wake up. Yoongi greets you from the door of your now room, you try to regulate your breathing thinking that he would notice your overwhelmed state and he would worry, but no. He is as calm as ever, relaxed even.

"Good morning beautiful, it's time for breakfast. Jin-hyung made your favorite." And with that last sentence she is shifting away, closing the door behind he.

You go down the stairs ready to go, your backpack resting on your shoulder. The table is just as full as at dinner, Jimin seemed very tired trying not to fall asleep, you watch him for a few seconds before looking at Taehyung who ignores you taking his cup of ... Coffee. You approach making him recoil alarmed and disgusted, you check the cup realizing that it is the same recipe that you use in the cafeteria.

Like them?

You look up noticing that, you were uncomfortable, Taehyung takes a few steps away from your body almost leaning against his, still sitting in his chair. You apologize to him making me sigh irritated, still ashamed you apologize again without eating or serving anything, just leaving through the front door.

Your journey is reflective. You forget, dream and recognize, that was the pattern you were following, everything seemed so strange and deep down gloomy, you feel the already casual chill running through your entire body almost like a warning.

Your seat in class was empty waiting, ready for you. Ari greets you, being your table companion and friend.

"Hey, intense night?" She jokes, you look shaking his head. She laughs pointing your neck. "You have... something there."

She frowns even more confused, her face leaves her smile aside and she starts looking at her things until she takes out a small mirror and she hands it to you. You look with horror at a large red bruise painting on your skin, it seemed painful but you had not even noticed or felt it. You touch it still scared and nothing, it doesn't hurt or it seems real.

You take a deep breath before lying with silly chatter, "I had an accident, but I'm fine. I had forgotten I was there, it was nothing serious."

Ari seems worried but in the end she forgets it by returning to the same kind and joking attitude of her, but her gaze drops from second by second to your neck making you cover yourself uncomfortable. Who? It can't be Yoongi, he was always very calm in that regard. You think terrified, your hand goes up to touch it and this time you manage to feel a sharp pain.

You have to cover it with the collar of your shirt so that no customer will notice it and avoid staining the reputation of the cafeteria, you smile nervously taking orders as fast as you can and avoiding looks. Yun greets you like every day, arriving at his work time. You spend hours begging for the clock to advance faster, the night sky appears and the doors close, you clear the last counter before you can finally show your neck again and breathe.

"That's a big problem." Yun whispers looking at the horrible mark, you nod with a sigh giving the same stupid excuse you told Ari. "You should use a little makeup to cover it up, I think it will help you a lot."

You think about it for a few seconds before deciding what you would do. You bow to him with a bow after he offered to close in your place and finish the remaining work for you.

You come home with a smile, you greet Namjoon who is reclining on the couch in the living room watching something on TV. You wait a few seconds but you do not receive a small or accidental look, you approach a few steps to repeat it again but you only get him to get up and go upstairs closing the door of his room apparently with a door slam. What the hell? You think covering your face with your hands looking for some comfort.

Everything was happening inside you, it was like a whirlpool sweeping away your sanity. Were you going crazy? Or you were just thinking a lot about nothing.

You try to draw a picture of your situation, but the only thing that repeats is the constant painting of Yoongi and you together.

"Yoongi!" You say to yourself with a smile, you drop your backpack running towards his room, wanting to see him after such a day.

Your hopes fade like air, everything within the space him screams 'he', but he is not there. You check the safe time that he should be home at that moment. You hear Jin's voice screaming from below about dinner ready, you sigh losing your appetite at those moments.

You lie on your bed checking your cell phone in case there was a message from Yoongi warning about he delay but nothing. You feel empty for some strange reason, but there was nothing different about it now.

If I had been more attentive and conscientious, you would have noticed that two more people other than Yoongi and you were missing from the table. Jin smiles sitting in his same place leaving your plate not caring without you being there with them, his smile never fades even when all his brothers are sitting silently eating and looking at your empty place so intensely that it was terrifying, he squeezes the cutlery in his hand without wanting to break the tradition in his family.

Dinners are sacred and no one should be missing. There will be no discussions or complaints, that's what the rest of the time is for.

That was what her mother said, sitting at the table in her old home containing her anger at seeing her husband so calm after having been unfaithful once more. Not on the table, not on the table.

Not on the table, honey.

Jimin opened the last bottle with a little satisfaction, poured another glass before handing it to his friend who was only glaring at the ground.

"She's not like that... I know her." Repeating the same stupid prayer for hours, Taehyung rolled his eyes trying to calm his annoyance, looking at his other friend insisting that he help him.

"Yoongi-hyung you saw it yourself, she had that... That mark. you didn't do it, maybe Tae is right and she-..."

"Not!" I scream interrupting what to him were lies. "_____ she's my girlfriend, she's not like that. I know her ... she loves me! She loves me! Do you understand?" Says exalted, holding the shirt of his friend who closed his mouth immediately, Jimin noticed that same reflection of anger in him and knew it was better to leave it for now.

Taehyung pushed the drunk Yoongi away from his side, making him release him and repeat the same phrase as in his state, he tried to believe himself.

The door to your room was opened and the smell of alcohol invaded you, making you look disgusted. You closed your eyes without wanting to see him, his body fell to the side of your bed approaching your body so slowly that the anxiety inside you doubled.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered.

His hands rested around you, giving you that warmth so familiar and comfortable in your gray days. A sob was heard while you lost yourself in your own thought, you watch it melt into your arms crying and without wanting to tell you why.

"It hurts." It's the only thing it says. But... Why?

You wake up. Just like a week ago, days had passed and it seemed like your skin kept accumulating horrible marks all over the place. You even went to consult a doctor but he only insisted that something... Or someone did them with such fury that it was incredible that a piece of skin will not be torn off by the force of his suction.

You touched the last mark that came, it was dangerously close to your crotch, you try to hide the others with makeup but they were still visible at a short distance.

You went down the stairs to see them all again, you greet with regret taking the first thing you find. Your mug had your name written on it, it was a rather curious gift from Jin after your melancholic night with Yoongi days ago, he apologized explaining that he felt bad after hearing all the sobs and apologies. For a moment you thought it was something exaggerated but he kept insisting that he felt bad about himself, not with Yoongi who was almost his brother or with you, with him.

You accepted it without wanting to show your dislike for his selfishness and narcissism, thanking him so softly that he hardly heard you.

The special drink that morning was coffee... Americano. You felt insecure to drink it, and you just put it aside.

Same recipe.

Yoongi looked at you for a few seconds before smiling fondly, and you just looked away, leaving him with a confused face as you walk out the door so quickly that he can hardly feel you.

He sighed before being drawn to Jimin's grin-adorned face, he shrugged, hinting at his silent opinion. She is not faithful to you Yoongi, why do you keep waiting for something good? Only looks at her body, her attitude and who she surrounds herself with, it is a classic of womens. You will know that she is a fox hidden under her sheepsuit, just observing her more and you never leave her.

The marks on your body, your cold attitude made him more and more suspicious and fall for Taehyung's profound words. She bit his lip, refusing to spy on your life away from him... Out of his sight.

But he really wasn't doing anything wrong, just observing. In his now dirty head, everything was valid if he could know the truth.

You did the same thing you always told him on his nights where they stayed up talking about his heavy days. You went to school, to work, and then home. Nothing changed your version.

I try to focus on your friends, there was only one girl you spent more time with in your classes and after them. He researched everything about his life, but he had nothing to worry about after learning that he had a boyfriend. He passed your work, standing outside for hours waiting to see you do something dirty or guilty, but you never seemed to move.

You just served the orders and then kindly said goodbye to the customers. He felt guilty for doing something so low to you, until he saw you.

To you.

Your smile grew when one of the workers who was your partner approached your place in the box to whisper something in your ear, you left your place following him towards the warehouse.

Anger consumed him quickly, refusing to continue standing there observing the obvious, possibly he was being irrational and he knew it but the constant insinuations of Jimin. The conversations with Taehyung, his words, his suspicions, the pleased looks from they when he fell back at his feet asking them to tell him what to do with you.

With his damn relationship.

Where were you and him. Not them. You and he.

He opened the door to your room and started going through your things like a degenerate, something must have made him sure that you were cheating on him. Something, a letter, a note, a gift from him, or a simple cheap jewel.

This was your Yoongi? You were clearly looking at another subject.

"Yoon..." You started, his eyes coldly piercing you. He looked different, he was looking at you but you didn't feel safe being so close. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think I do?" He asked how else he will not point to the obvious, for a moment you thought that even if it was, out of respect or dignity, he would try to deny it or find another explanation for his actions so offensive to you. "Where is?"

"Where is what?" You claim, starting to get angry, his eyes leave you again as he continues searching through your drawers, dropping everything to the floor with thudding noises. You get closer trying to push it away but you only get rejection. "Stop it, Yoongi."

"Not until you say so."

You freeze without knowing what he meant by the latter, you take his arm to stop him but you only receive a push that makes you back away this time scared by the force of his attack. "Enough!" You claim this time by making him look at you with his cold eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about and why you're doing this, but enough."

"Then say it..." You shout again that you don't know what he wants you to say, you even curse furiously making him come closer to support your shoulders with his hands bringing you closer to his face. "Say it damn it! Say you're cheating on me with that bastard son of a bitch!"

You feel the pain of his grip, you sob, begging him to release you but are ignored as he continues to ask you to say so. You refuse to lie, especially with something so degrading.

Jin hears the screams as he continues serving the dinner desserts, Jungkook strangely puts aside his phone for a few minutes to thank him with a small toast and a smile that was rarely seen on him.

"The dessert tonight is sweeter than usual."

Jimin raises his glass with a bright smile, Namjoon adjusts his tie tied perfectly around his neck as he sips from his glass, Hoseok laughs eating the delicious cake with enthusiasm.

Curious, a green tea cake with cream on top.

"It's a shame Yoongi-hyung misses out on dessert." Taehyung speaks pretending a pout on his lips, playing with his spoon with the cream on her plate. "It is especially exquisite today."

"Stop playing already, when will you do it? I'm looking forward to getting started." Jin snaps angrily, pushing the cake out of her sight as he drinks from her wine glass.

Jungkook laughs, turning his phone back on to continue playing as usual. "So impatient, hyung." He says he with a click of annoyance.

Jin rolls his eyes, following her gaze to Jimin who is innocently cowering in her chair. Ignoring how completely obsessed Jungkook is with his games, it really was not his business,for something his youngest friend had his parents, who were too busy with their work, they ran the largest electronics factory in the country, leaving his son in the background just giving him everything he asked for without objection. Always showing a smile when little Jungkook came before them demanding a new console or the best phone.

"It only remains to wait..." Whispering, he released a patient Hoseok. His smile as charming as ever. "For her to decide what to do and then... Plot! She fell into the wrong well."

"I hate when you describe and talk like that, but I can't expect much from a Jung... like you."

However, Hoseok never stops smiling even when anger is consuming his mind causing him to clench his fists under the table and bite his tongue inside his mouth, hidden by his gleaming and visible teeth. Namjoon smiles at her, knowing that she managed to provoke him but that she won't do anything to shut him up.

"Pathetic."

Motherfucker.

Jin breaks the tense silence, shushing everyone with a snap. That silence. Nobody hears anything from you or Yoongi, for a moment they feel the anguish that something bad has happened or that his friend has lost a bit ... The hand. But just seconds later you're rushing down, wearing the same clothes and your face covered in tears. You don't even look at them when you run to the door, leaving a trail of emptiness behind you.

"Hm, intense." This is Jungkook speaking, his eyes still lost on the phone screen of him playing a silly online championship. "She will be fine after hours."

"Jungkook is right, now we must move with Yoongi."

Namjoon gets up walking to your room, surprised that everything seems almost the same as it was before their fight.

He smiles when he manages to see his friend laying on the floor sobbing, and like that children's book called Pinocchio, he feels good being that cricket-shaped voice of reason. Only this time that sweet and serene voice, released one and a thousand blasphemies that would contaminate even the most devout by his beliefs.

He managed to convince Yoongi's easy to manipulate mind, blurting out words almost like a song. Playing with the naive self of hes that still lived and breathes inside him.

You had come home after days of spending with Ari and her boyfriend away from him. You really didn't want to set foot in that house again in years, a small irrational part of you believed that it was all his fault, your real problems started when you set foot in that damn place.

You open the door observing the room in the same way, empty. You try not to make yourself feel ready to go to sleep, without having been able to do it in days, but now you doubted that it would be different here.

You remain static in view of everyone, you had forgotten that at that time they were having dinner together. They only met once a day and it had to be right there.

"Good evening, sorry to interrupt." You ignoring Yoongi's gaze that, he's trying not to get too excited about your return, even though she causes he to euphoric whirl. "Carry on, I'll just go to my room."

"Please no, sit with us."

"I'm not well."

"I insist, sit with us. They were difficult days but I know they can fix it." Jin puts a plate in front of one of the empty chairs, you refuse to sit down but you do it out of compromise.

Everyone seems to be exclusively quiet, dinner was gray, like a black and white painting. Remember the first dinner, where everyone seemed to have so much to say and now that was left behind, Jungkook continues to play with his phone sometimes moving his plate by accident, without touching a single silverware with the intention of eating. Jin eats in peace, so slowly that he is strange. Namjoon reads a book in his hand, eating so cleanly that it's amazing.

Hoseok looks at you playfully from time to time, with a smile that almost makes you smile the same. Jimin and Taehyung seem to communicate silently, they both look at each other with slight grimaces and smiles.

"We can talk?" Yoongi whispers, you feel her breath next to you and instinctively you walk away scared. Still hurt by her actions and attitude, you give your vow of silence by standing up and without saying goodbye, you walk up the stairs.

"How rude." Jungkook interrupts, keeping an eye on his screen lighting up his beautiful face. "He didn't even taste the food."

Yoongi looks at Jin, her oldest friend and the one she trusted the most, seeking some advice. But just gets the same treatment as always, a look insisting that go with you and try to fix her mistake.

However, it was late. You had packed a makeshift suitcase by going down as quietly as you could, exiting through the back door like a thief or a fugitive.

You spent days thinking about your cowardly way of running away, but in the same way you felt better and even more so when you did not receive any message from him. Maybe it wasn't that important to him, it hurt but it also relieved you.

You knew it would be awkward to see him in the face again, but you should go back and get your things over with as soon as possible. You naively thought of forming a friendship, a very distant one, but in the end it would be the healthiest thing for both of you.

"______?" Asked the person who opened the door after you barely managed to ring the bell due to nerves, he was clearly confused.

"W-good morning ... Jin." You greet by taking a few steps back to get a better look at it, you had forgotten how tall it was. "Sorry to bother I just wanted to -..."

"Talk to Yoongi? I'm sorry but he's already better without you, he even met someone new." You were surprised by his austere, sour tone and trying to intimidate you. "And you better go, you are not welcome here."

"No ... No, I-I came for my things but I'm glad to know that it's better now, and that ..." The words stayed in your mouth, almost as if it hurt to admit it. "I was able to find someone, I hope we can be friends. Also with you, I'm sorry I left without explaining or saying goodbye properly."

You waited what seemed like ages for her response, and you expected more than a simple nod of the head, letting you pass without a hitch. You searched your room quickly, trying not to have any contact with any of them for now. You opened the door that had your name on it but you were scared by what you found inside, the whole room had been painted blood red, a very dark color that managed to give you such familiar chills.

"What is this? Where are my things?!" You turned around ready to go and claim but the door closed behind you with a stormy noise. You ran to try to open it but it did not move an inch, you searched the whole room for something useful to help you but it was completely empty, and alone.

You sobbed in fear, not understanding what was happening and why it seemed that the walls were getting narrower every second. You fell to the ground, trying to stay calm and without losing your goal, hours and even days passed for you, you waited to hear at least one noise but everything was so quiet that you had to avoid going crazy, you played with your hands trying to distract yourself and think positive things, you had read many books about stressful situations to know that thinking a lot about those things caused even more stress, you lie on the floor sure that a nap will calm everything down, if it was a nightmare you wanted to wake up and if not , you wanted to dream that it was.

A lock, you hear that particular noise and you wake up. You open your eyes as fast as you can lifting your body, the door was slightly open as if someone was exiting. You scream for help but it closes, you fall back into sadness and despair screaming even more for your freedom.

You didn't deserve this.

You look with regret at the delicious food they left for you, for a moment you think about going on a hunger strike but your stomach demands you not to be so stupid. The same would not change anything. Regardless of manners, you eat as fast as you can, dropping quite a bit of food on the ground in your rush.

It had an exquisite taste, and you could recognize it everywhere. It was one of your favorite dishes, you felt disgusted to compare it to your mother's food, but as magnificent as it was, it reminded you so much of her.

You wait for something to happen, but minutes go by in which you just look at nothing, letting your head fly. Thinking of a thousand things, playing with the spoon and singing in a low voice.

You feel hot from one moment to the next, your vision becomes cloudy and the door opens again. You just stay in the same place, you don't care about anything, not even how they hold you by helping you walk into another room.

"You were right, she is very calm now."

You look at him, their faces so familiar and you try to place them, but your head is flying away at that moment. You close your eyes laughing, and drifting into unconsciousness.

You wake up. You open your eyes and you are tied, you struggle with the ropes that hold your arms while the bed below you makes your body bounce. You touch the sheets realizing that they are extremely soft, you are in an unfamiliar room surrounded by scarlet red, with elegant and shimmering decorations. You try to stand up but your legs, like your hands, are tied.

And you're still quiet because of the rag in your mouth.

You fight the bindings furiously, screaming into the cloth as much as you can get sick of being locked up again.

You think of Yoongi, although at that moment it was irrelevant you wonder where she is and if she knew that she was being kidnapped in such a way, would she help you at least? Resignation covers you completely, fighting the bonds again with such force that you feel like they burn your skin every time you move.

You sob, just as he did one fall day.

Yoongi watches you from the monitor in another room, Jin is talking to Namjoon to the side while Jungkook is still sitting in a corner entertaining on her phone. Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok seem reluctant to look at each other despite facing each other.

Remember the day, the one in the past, when he met them. Jimin and Taehyung were already friends playing in one of the children's castles, with their hands pretending to be weapons as they ran around. Hoseok was sitting next to his mother, talking and apparently they had a lot to say. Namjoon did not detach from the side of his father who urged him to go up to the games, while Jin was busy collecting Flowers in a basket that his grandmother was holding.

They were all strangers and even more so he, felt out of place surrounded by so many games and away from home. His parents had freed up a whole day to spend together in a decent park, it was several hours of travel from Daegu to Seoul only for his son to play in a beautiful park surrounded by luxurious buildings.

He dropped down next to her mother, hugging her without wanting to let her go.

"Min Yoongi, we didn't take this trip just for you to sit there all day, son."

"I'm scared..." he whispered, biting her lip and hiding her face in the neck of his beloved mother.

"I see... but the games look so much fun. Run and try them, love."

He nodded still uneasy, walking over to one of the swings where he sat rocking so slowly that he seemed still. He felt hands pushing his body from behind, scared he looked at the boy behind him, he had a smile on his face and waved him with a hand.

"Sorry, I thought you needed to be pushed." He spoke and did not seem at all nervous.

"I'm fine, but thank you..." There was a momentary silence before he interrupted again. "I am Yoongi."

"Hoseok, although my mommy calls me Hobi."

He smiled, offering himself this time to push the swing, they spent minutes like this just helping each other take a walk pleasantly. He didn't even think about it when Hoseok offered to talk to Jimin and Taehyung about how they'll all play together in teams.

Now in the present, he smiled again remembering how he met Jin that same day, he had collided with him when he was running so as not to be caught by Jimin. His older friend was flushed with anger, screaming for her flowers and his dirty clothes. His grandmother teased him a bit making him deny even more, he followed Yoongi for several minutes until the chase because of her desire to hit him became a game.

They both fell to the ground tired, laughing before Hoseok introduced himself to Jin. Namjoon arrived shortly after, curious about the commotion and why he had gotten bored of sitting for so long, as he explained later. Besides that his father didn't have the best conversation starters.

He cried so much that very day when he had to go home again, promising to return soon.

"We have everything ready, are you ready?" Jin stood next to him, his eyes looked at him but he couldn't recognize his childhood friend. The same one that he offered to organize his birthday parties when his parents could not afford them, the same one that he never took advantage of his money to lower it. The one who hugged him as many times as he could when he came out of his therapies after his parents died.

Who was this man?

"Y-yes." He murmured still stunned. He got up, following in his footsteps with his head lowered.

They opened the door showing him, you were distracted biting the cloth in your mouth and trying to move your hands to free them.

Your body felt the same repetitive chill making you look at them feeling their presences so... uncomfortable.

"Enough." Jin ordered as you continued your insistent useless movement, trying to free yourself. "I'm not playing around, stop."

Me neither, idiot. You clench your teeth as much as you can at not being able to say it out loud, you stubbornly keep moving even faster than before. Your hair falls on your face from your busy tossing and you stare at him, challenging his patience and judgment.

You try not to tremble when he approaches you with intentions that deep down manage to scare you. But you continue, the bed moves as fast as you do until his hand falls against your cheek causing a gasp to come out of your gagged mouth.

"Hyung!" Yoongi claims holding her hand to prevent her from trying to hit you again, you feel the particular burning on your right cheek and the tears growing back in your eyes. "Please, no blows. That was not what we agreed on."

Jimin cleared his throat, a satisfied smile on his face, "We never specified anything, actually... Yoongi-hyung."

"Jimin is right, you never specified any kind of restriction for her and us." Namjoon clarified making you look at them confused, it was as if they were talking in terms of employment or contract.

But you had never signed anything.

"B-but they can't do that, they'll never accomplish anything if they force her." He tried to persuade him but Jungkook sighed, dropping his phone to the ground and then stepping on it like it was worthless. "She will just hate them."

"She will do it anyway, if we let her off her or try to convince her to stick with sweet words she won't think twice and she will run away ready to report us for kidnapping."

"In addition to the damages that she suffered here." Namjoon continued to condemn Jungkook, uplifting her surname and her family's status.

"You are in this with us or against us, there is still a free place in the basement for you with chains just as heavy."

Again, the same chill ran through you causing you to cringe in your place. These men were insane, they were capable of betraying each other, and worse, they could possibly also consider shooting themselves in the back when they weren't looking at each other. All for you, as if you were some kind of prize for winning and owning.

After moments that seemed eternal, Taehyung was releasing your mouth as you began to complain about what they were doing, how they dared and demanding freedom.

Really a classic, so much so that it was witty and hilarious that you said it literally.

They forced you to kneel on the ground with your hands on your legs still perfectly tied. More questions filled your mouth not knowing what they were planning, all you could do was look at them so scared it was adorable.

"Uh... Well... I guess one should go first." Jin says, taking a few steps away from your crouched figure.

Jimin stepped forward, standing in front of you causing you to look up from your spot below him.

"What are you doing?" You ask weakly, you try to drag yourself away when his hand struggles with his pants to remove it but Jin holds you in place. Getting on his knees to speak into your ear softly.

"You better take a breath instead of trying to run away, honey. I thought you were smarter... hm?" He laughs mocking your scared face, you refuse to open your eyes and mouth making him stop laughing in annoyance.

Jimin sighs taking your face in his hands so roughly that they will surely leave a purple mark on your skin. He was still dressed, I was hoping I could humiliate you more and then fuck your mouth until you suffocate while his hyung explains everything to you. How it all started, his obsession, his plan, they had planned everything so perfect that it was terrifying, everything monopolized on one board.

Soon as soon as possible you will just be a cute housewife and you will forget your life before that day. Not for nothing did they have a closet full of cheerful and homely outfits ready for you, they wanted to destroy you and then put you back together just to serve them.

You would be his wife, of everyone.

"Come on, little bitch..." Jimin started, reaching over to kiss you on the lips even though you refused to do so. You really no longer had a vote or a word of objection in his plans. "Open your eyes darling, you don't want a stray bullet to land in your mother's skull, do you?" He threatened making you obey even more scared than before.

"P-please don't hurt my mother!" You sob, clasping your tied hands in supplication.

"Oh, we won't.... yet." He whispered kissing your lips one last time before imposing himself on your kneeling body. Her cock came out of her pants, stroked a few times before guiding it to your lips. Your stomach contracted, and you pulled your face away as far as you could before Hoseok held you by the hair tightly pulling you close again. "Take it, baby. Everything will be fine if you just obey."

"I hate them, they disgust me" You whisper before Jin forced you to open your mouth making you take it, you fight for a few seconds but her hips are already moving making you choke and gasp. His moans are so loud they make you squirm but his hands hold your head close to him.

"I told you you'll take a breath, but you're a dumb whore." His breath is hitting your neck directly, your skin crawling trying to distract you from anything other than Jimin's cock in your throat causing you to gag and vomit. "I bet you're wondering why, what did you do, and nothing really. Or if Yoongi!"

You do not look at your boyfriend before, you only focus on Jin who smiles, caressing your body with his hands, almost exceeding your limits. However, what did it matter if he did it, there was nothing you could do for yourself.

"You were only here, I think we all loved you from the first moment we saw you. We spent many nights wondering what was special about you, many of us had dated women before but you... You were so different, you had something that attracted us and it made us go crazy. " His hands squeezed your breasts causing you to gasp on Jimin's cock who moaned with pleasure, continuing his steady and hard rhythm. "Taehyung got involved in the matter. "

Jimin smirked when your eyes went up to him, your eyes showing how angry and helpless you felt. And it was exquisite.

"I bet you didn't know about your beloved boyfriend's background,locked up in a rehab center for alcoholics for two years. Three years taking therapy for his depression after the tragic death of his parents, quite strong actually." His words had such a strong past but from his mouth they came out as if it were not so important. Something common for him. "I'm surprised he loved you so much and didn't tell you."

You cried unable to turn your face to look at him, deep down you wanted to put Yoongi aside and not hate him for this. But it seemed almost impossible when he was there, doing nothing, so calm that it was unreal that he had ever looked at you directly and declared his love to you over and over again. For months.

"He really was fine for a while until we decided to make him fall again, one drink after another... First trust him, then question their relationship and finally make them argue." A laugh left his lips, it was almost uncomfortable that he was the only one doing it. Everyone else was so quiet just watching. "But I can't give myself all the credit, let me introduce ourselves well, my dear."

Jimin walked away from you letting you breathe again, you had almost forgotten that he had been doing that act against you. Your tied hands help you hold off the ground by not being able to breathe properly, you feel so weak that you are about to pass out but you refuse to look weak in front of them.

"Kim Seokjin, son of the best chefs in the country and heir owner of thousands of five-star restaurants, inside and outside the country." His body crouched down, making an extremely long bow. Namjoon stood next to him, with the same smile from the day he met you. "Kim Namjoon, the only and adored son of the best lawyers and mayoral candidates, future presidents if occasion permits." There was a strange tone behind his voice, with a knowing wink. "I thought you can guess what Hoseok's parents do, but I'll tell you just in case. Great psychiatrists recognized for their countless achievements outside and within the country, having a tradition from generation to generation, capable of manipulating even the cleverest mind like yours."

Hosoek smiled at you, but this time his smile showed malice and pride. All that time you were surrounded by people who wielded a certain power and influence, oblivious to the fact that they could ever use it against you.

"Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung... Maybe you heard about their surnames on the news two years ago? Families specialized in medicine, their knowledge dazzles science and biology. Before allies and now both surnames are enemies competing for the market, but who would say that their children would meet secretly and use their same knowledge to retain a precise treasure." His hand stroked your hair causing you to recoil angrily, with a grimace of disgust and resignation. "Well... Finally Jungkook, son of the best technology creators in the country. Capable of creating anything, millionaires obviously, like everyone. Faithful lovers and devoted to he son, giving him everything he wants. " He stopped for a moment and then brought his hand to your ear taking out one of your earrings, you looked at him confused before he opened it showing a tiny device that lit up. "Even creating a more than wonderful device, a tracker of the smallest size."

You opened your mouth completely petrified, looking at each and every one of them. Most of them had a firm and conceited posture, but your eyes only looked at him.

"Were you in on this?" You ask by moving your body slightly, Yoongi only remains silent, avoiding looking at you at all costs, even if it is out of mercy you demand a simple word. "Speak! Tell me! Tell me!" You scream completely out of control, letting out all your frustration and anger with him, just him. It's all his fault. "Tell me now! To finally be able to completely hate them all... Please tell me, I just want to stop inventing and fooling my head trying to justify why you are standing there doing nothing for me" You sob almost exhausted, " Without helping me, when before you said you love me."

His eyes meet yours a few seconds before Jungkook chimed in, completely certain that you were trying to play your manipulation cards to get rid of them. Funny, they had done the same to catch you, their hyung could sometimes be so... credulous. That it was ironic that she was older than him.

"Good enough talk for today." He demanded, causing you to hide your head again in fear. You were so scared, even with the pain in your cheek and jaw from being forced by Jimin, you would never give up on them.

Your mouth felt dry, you couldn't remember the last time you drank water alone. As if they could read your thoughts, Taehyung appeared with a tray with a glass of water and a purple pill.

"Take that away from me." You scream when he tries to put the pill in your mouth, backing up as far as your bound legs will allow.

He sighs bored, as if he doesn't have the patience to deal with it, "If you want water you'll have to do this."

"What is it?" You ask almost breathless from the lack of water in your body, he smiles before bringing the pill to his face to look at it rolling it on his finger.

"Hm... Vitamins." Respond after hesitating. "Everything you need in one compact little pill. It was an invention by Jimin and me, we were hoping you would be the first to try it."

A few seconds ago you remember hearing about the reputations of both families, they were specialists who probably passed that knowledge on to their children. If they knew what they were doing with them, they would be shocked. Your reasoning tells you no, to throw it away and try to run away but your head and body can't take it anymore, they demand water and a rest.

"I-it's okay." You accept, removing the pill and the glass of water from the tray angrily. You put the pill in first, then the water so hard your mouth hurts from the force.

You return the glass silently, eyeing him suspiciously before sitting back down and walking a few inches away. You wait for everyone to do something, but they stay so still as dolls that it scares you, everything about them and their attitudes was creepy.

I wish you had noticed earlier.

And now you feel it, it was not pain, nor anxiety. I was just calm, the noises seem to decrease and your vision does not blur but you feel so relaxed that you do not seem to be affected by any drugs. You could feel it all, but you didn't care.

It was relaxing but you weren't far this time, you remember the previous scenes. When you ate the food they gave you, it was similar but as if it had been modified so that you can remain docile and obedient, but at the same time you know what they are doing.

Your body falls on the bed, you don't even try to get up. Your brain isn't thinking about that, it just gets distracted by the decorations around it, but it clearly perceives one of them nearby. Namjoon is behind your body lying face down, half is on the bed and your legs are still kneeling on the floor. You feel his kisses so desperate on your neck, his hands touching your breasts and stomach trying to lower himself further, anxious not to wait to fuck you as he always wanted and should have been.

You do not fight when his legs open yours with force and speed, you just stand still, thinking with your head glued to the soft sheets of the bed, deep down you can slightly feel your desire to push him and push him away furiously, you want to do it but not you do. You feel so confused that you sob into the sheets in released frustration.

"I thought I heard from you, that her wouldn't refuse anything with his stupid pill." Jin whispers, disgusted seeing you struggle with yourself in search of reason.

"I don't see her deny it." Jimin retorts, crossing his arms with a small victorious smile.

Yoongi stands aside, not wanting to accept this but likewise, like you, does nothing to avoid it while Namjoon sinks deep inside you causing you to writhe overwhelmed and let out a groan of pain, your mouth opens to complain and probably ask him to stop, but he instantly closes again only releasing more gasps and squeals.

They spend minutes with all eyes on you, taking the cock of her friend who abuses your sore pussy from overstimulation, this time you are crying and begging for mercy to stop. Even in your unconsciousness you continue to feel all the pain and also the pleasure that is now almost non-existent.

"S-stop!" You cry between gasps of exhaustion, your hands had been released by Jungkook seconds ago so that you can hold on properly. However, you only use them to try to ward off Namjoon who is holding you against the bed by slamming his body against yours with obscene noises. The bed squirms like you, colliding with the wall in sync.

"A little more baby... Just a little more... And I'll fill you with my cum, so fucking tight. You like that, hm?" Her breath very close to your cheek makes you react, you squeeze your eyes almost suffering from your next inevitable orgasm. You scream making everyone watch you fascinated by how your face contracts with pleasure and pain, you try to walk away when the moment of ecstasy recedes, but he continues to fuck you bareback hard, selfishly chasing the release of him against you.

You spent hours repeating the same routine, sometimes sometimes even more hours than you can remember or count.. Your body was completely covered with bruises and marks not only made by them manually, you had discovered in the worst way that Hoseok had a great fetish to make small cuts to any animal or person that had skin and that glistening blood came out of those wounds, red as hell and as sweet as ambrosia.

A delicacy, truly a true delicacy blessed by God.

Jin could not stop laughing at your overwhelmed face, sometimes he would sit next to you while your body was fucked uncontrollably, watching your face move on the sheets with the constant and hard movements of his friends.

"Do you enjoy it, you dirty bitch?" You knew he was making fun of it, not only because it denigrated your dignity, but also because you couldn't answer correctly and the only thing that moved was your head up and down from the thrusts. As if you were affirming his disgusting words. "You like it right?" And again. "I bet you will enjoy it every day from now on, do you want to marry us, little bitch? Be ours forever, that we fuck you every damn day like that, that we also fill you up that you would get pregnant, you would have our children , and you would gladly. Do you accept _______?"

You did not want to know where he managed to get your last name, nor your full name and less because he thought that after the effect of whatever they had given you, you would really accept being his damned wife.

But he just stands there, watching Jungkook abuse his new power against you and taunt him.

I just wanted to wait for everyone to leave, so I could hug you, heal you, and ask for forgiveness.

He couldn't save you if he was chained to the basement like they threatened to do. He was afraid of his own friends, who looked at him madly when hours before he thought of withdrawing from the plan, Hoseok as charismatic as he always claimed to be able to cut his neck so easily if I took you away from them.

Now, they were doomeds.

The painting lost its color once more.

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

Twelve Months - Good Omens fanfic

Happy 31st Anniversary of Good Omens! :D

To celebrate this momentous occasion, I have posted a slightly-sad, slightly-sweet Wake the Snake fic on AO3, because our demon has been napping for a whole Twelve Months, and sometimes Angel gets a little lonely!

Thank you all for another fantastic year in this fandom!

--

Twelve months.

Aziraphale pushed open the door to Crowley’s flat, a simple shopping bag tucked under his arm.

The lights were still off, the curtains drawn in the awful empty room he called a study. Nothing had changed.

He passed through the enormous, rotating section of wall and into the solarium. This was still bright—many of the plants flourishing despite being unattended so long, despite clearly not having enough water. A few had started flowering. They waved their branches at him as he entered, perking up eagerly.

The angel waved back, but first he peeked into Crowley’s bedroom.

He was still where Aziraphale had left him, on his last visit a month before. Bright red hair spilled across black pillows, grown into a stringy mop. Duvet pulled up to his messily-bearded chin. One hand curled up beside him on the bed.

Still asleep.

With a sigh, Aziraphale crossed over to the plants, who greeted him excitedly, unfurling their newest leaves, a few vines hanging down to brush his face.

“Hello, my lovelies. How are you all doing? Look at you, grown at least a foot since I saw you, I’m sure. And you! What beautiful pink buds. Very impressive.”

He didn’t think Crowley would approve of how he spoke to the plants, but the poor things had been so distraught on his first visit, straining to keep upright, trying to hide their yellowing leaves. So much healthier now, much happier for just a bit of attention. He picked up the watering can and gave them all a quick splash. He didn’t know how much water each needed, but it didn’t seem to matter.

“You keep it up, dears. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Picking up his shopping bag again, Aziraphale headed down the hall to the kitchen. The kettle sat on the island where he’d left it, and he quickly refilled it and set it to boil. While he waited, he pulled his latest creations from the bag: a small pumpkin spice cake from a recipe he’d been perfecting since fall, a lemon coconut cake, and a few apple cinnamon muffins.

Two plates—a muffin for each, a slice of the coconut cake for himself and the pumpkin spice for Crowley.[1] The rest went into the refrigerator, where they would never go bad or stale.

Aziraphale put the plates onto a tray, along with forks and napkins. Next he found two mugs and pulled the little tin of his second-favorite tea out of the bag just as the kettle boiled.

For himself, a teaspoon of the expertly blended leaves, steeped for exactly three minutes, resulting in a pale brown tea with a slightly spicy aroma. For Crowley, he dropped a tea bag into boiling water and let it sit until it was almost black.[2]

He carried the tray back to the solarium and selected a bright red-and-gold tulip that was nearly vibrating in its eagerness to be noticed. A moment to assure the other plants that they were still doing fabulously—particularly a self-conscious little succulent that had rather drooped over the winter but was making a fine recovery—and he once more headed into Crowley’s bedroom.

Crowley had rolled over, and now sprawled on his back, sleeping soundly. He’d apparently kicked a bit, too, as the blanket had slid down past his stomach. Aziraphale smiled as he set the tray on the chair he’d brought in some months ago and got to work.

“It’s wonderful to see you again, dear,” he started cheerfully, carefully rearranging the objects on the little bedside table. “I have a few things for you again, I hope you don’t mind.” Just enough space to slide the mug and the little plate. Perfect.

“I received a package from Tadfield again. Everyone wrote a note and then gathered them all together, really quite clever. They’re all doing well, if a bit bored.” The table was nearly overflowing with little items now, brought in by Aziraphale to cheer the place up. Framed pictures of their human friends, quarantining with their families, clustered in one corner so tightly you could hardly see them anymore.

He pulled the latest out of the shopping bag. “Anathema has started a garden,” he explained, pausing to show the photograph to Crowley’s sleeping form. It showed the witch, kneeling outside her little cottage, working on growing several rows of herbs. “I got the impression she was off to a rough start, but she hopes to send us some mint in the next package. Although Newt warned me not to expect too much, as they’d already forgotten which patch is mint and which is oregano.” He set the picture with the others, and slid the potted tulip alongside it. “I’m sure she could use some advice from you, when you’re ready to share.”

“Nnnnh.” Aziraphale spun eagerly, but no, just Crowley shifting in his sleep again, rolling onto his side.

The angel paused to pull the duvet back up to Crowley’s chin, tugging it straight and smoothing a hand down his back. In a way, his friend was nearly unrecognizable, with that hair and ridiculous beard, but in another way looked the same as ever. That was always Crowley’s way, of course, constantly changing yet somehow always the same.

He lingered, taking in the shape of that face, leaning close, lips hovering above his cheekbone—

Aziraphale pulled back, quickly digging into his bag again. “Oh! Ah, the, um, the children have been making projects for their art class. This past month was sculpture, and they sent us some. Look!” He pulled out four little figures of oven-baked clay. “Ah, young Wensleydale has made a very clever model of a train car. Brian’s is…abstract.” He turned the next a few different ways. “And Pepper’s is, ah, either a very complex symbolic representation of the Patriarchy, or…a troll, I think.” They just fit on the edge of the table, all in a line, a very mismatched tableau. The fourth, on the end, was the best, in Aziraphale’s opinion. “Adam made a little Dog, and it’s very well done, don’t you think?” The canine figure posed with one leg raised and head cocked, ready to play, but the shadow it cast was just a little too large, too ominous, for such a small creature.

With a sigh, Aziraphale shifted the row this way and that. “I sent a letter to Warlock, over in America, but haven’t heard back since Christmas. I believe they’re very busy with something. Politics. You know how it is.” When the Dowlings had left England, they’d planned to return for a visit the following summer. A global pandemic had had other ideas.

“In any case, that just leaves Tracy and Shadwell. I understand he’s decided to hate the concept of literacy this month, so no word on how his war with the squirrels is going. And Tracy has declared she will spend the summer making a fairy garden. I thought her sketches looked very promising, and she promised to send us an update in June. I’m sure you’ll find it charming.”

“Hrrrrm.” Crowley sank under the duvet, nestling down a little deeper. Aziraphale smiled, settling into the chair with his plate and mug.

“Things are loosening up again,” he explained, taking a bite of cake. Delicious, if he said so himself. Sharp and not too sweet. “People are getting vaccinated, shops opening up. It’s really a lovely breath of fresh air, at least when you’re not wearing a mask.” A long sip from his mug, then he held it, fingers tapping. “It’s been nice walking through the park again, just in time for the baby ducks. And that record shop at the corner, they’ve had some wonderful new additions. Which reminds me.”

Putting aside his mug, Aziraphale dug through the bag again and pulled out a handful of square plastic cases. “They had a whole shipment of those little records the Bentley likes. Modern music. I picked out the ones with the rudest names. I’m sure you’ll enjoy them.” He pulled out the first disc and placed it atop Crowley’s phone. The device blinked in confusion a few times, then obediently copied all the music.

“Of course, it’s not all good news.” He stacked the rest of the discs atop the phone and returned to his tea. “Reopening means the customers are coming back. Yesterday, this one individual spent almost an hour browsing the same three shelves. And then he tried to make off with one of my books.” Another long sip. “Granted, he offered to pay, but still. What sort of establishment does he think I’m running?”

Aziraphale paused, waiting for Crowley to respond, not that he ever did. The demon’s eyelids moved a little, but no more.

Sighing, Aziraphale turned to his muffin. “You know, many times in the last year, I’ve wished you were there. Particularly during reopening phases. You could have posed as a customer, and then I’d be able to tell people I was at the capacity limit. Oh, and the people who would call to try and buy my rarest books. Collectors, or so they claimed, but then they just turn around and sell to anyone for twice the price! I’m sure you’d have some biting things to say about such people.” He smiled at Crowley’s sleeping face. “I’ve missed that, and your jokes. Rather more than I expected to.”

When his plate and tea were finished, Aziraphale set them on the floor and reached again into the bag. “Now, I have been attempting to teach my computer how to use the internet. I think it’s going quite well. Adam and his friends gave me a ‘homework assignment’ to find articles on recent news events, and I made the most wonderful discovery. Did you know that humans now share their news through humorous pictures? I printed out my favorites to show you.”[3]

He flicked through a few. “Ah, to start with, a few months ago there was this American politician with amusing mittens who showed up everywhere for a few days. It was extremely droll.” He leaned closer, holding them up for Crowley to see. “Ah, a few more from America. The murder hornets arrived, though by that point everyone had forgotten them. The election became increasingly confusing, and it all ended in a parking lot. For a little while everything was ‘This-or-That Total Landscaping,’ and before that everything was cake.” He showed a few extremely clever illusions. “I did try to make my own, but couldn’t manage it without miracles, which I felt was cheating.”

Really, leaning like this was starting to strain his back. Aziraphale shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, the better to share his pictures. “Ahhh. Also for a time everyone’s calendars were stuck on ‘March.’ And then earlier this year, a group of people learned how the stock market works, but sadly not how to spell it. The whole situation seemed very much like the sort of thing you’d be involved in. And…Oh, this angel from a television show was sent to Hell for…reasons.” He glanced at the shape beside him. Crowley had curled in slightly, pressing against Aziraphale’s back. “Yes. Various reasons. And then this musician, I suppose, went on his own. Both had many people extraordinarily upset.”

The next few images would really tickle Crowley, if he could actually see them. “The biggest news is that a large ship got stuck sideways in that canal in Egypt. Stopped half the world’s shipping for a few days while they dug it out! I’m sure you would have liked that very much. Exactly your sort of trouble. The humans were all very excited.”

The final photo was another of the ship, an image Aziraphale had made himself, printing out a blank version and writing on it in felt-tip pen. The hull of the enormous ship was labeled, “An eternity putting up with the tedious bureaucracy and frequently conflicting commands of my superiors until I begin to doubt my own judgement and sanity,”[4] while the small digger working steadily beside it was “Crowley.”

Aziraphale watched the demon beside him, not really expecting a reaction, certainly not getting one. He reached over, brushing brilliant hair back from Crowley’s forehead. “I think you’d have had rather a lot of fun last year. Or perhaps you’d have been upset you could only watch from a distance. Or…”

He’d leaned much closer than he’d intended, hovering just above Crowley’s forehead.

“Well!” Aziraphale stumbled to his feet. “I suppose that’s just about everything.” He picked up the tray from where he’d rested it on the floor, starting to re-load it with everything he’d brought in. Crowley’s cake and tea sat untouched, as always, but Aziraphale wouldn’t dream of skipping them. “We’re all very optimistic for the summer. Two months and everything should be just…just tickety-boo. Perhaps we can go for that picnic soon, if…yes…”

They’d made such plans for 2020. All the things they would do now they were free. Plans, and other thoughts carried in their minds, possibilities that would play out in their own time. Not too fast, just a slow, steady exploration of everything they could be…

“Well. Pleasant as that idea is, best not to—to plan too much, as the previous year made fools of us all. I just…” He turned away from the tray and watched Crowley sleep, hands clasped before him. “I miss you terribly. And I wish…very much…”

He picked up his shopping bag. One item still inside. The same one he’d been carrying for months, trying to find the courage to bring it out.

With a shaking hand, he reached in and drew forth a soft hand-made doll. He’d spent much of the winter on it. Simple white cotton for the head and body, wooly curls for the hair, and stiff white lace for the wings. Dressed in waistcoat and bowtie made from Aziraphale’s favorite tartan.

He still wasn’t sure why he brought it. He’d stitched several little toys, particularly a lovely black-and-red serpent with gold button eyes that had watched him from the sofa since November. But this, for reasons he couldn’t articulate, this one was for Crowley.

“I, ah…” He shuffled closer, doll clutched in both hands. “I made, um…” Back to the edge of the bed, one hand fumbling across the duvet. “…thought you might like…”

Crowley’s face stood out in stark contrast to the pillow, pale skin and bright hair. Aziraphale wanted to drink it in, memorize every detail, to hold him over until next month. The curve of his nose, the sharp angle of his cheekbones. His lashes flickering as his eyes moved. His lips, pursed ever so slightly…

“Bless it, Angel, are you going to kiss me or not?”

Aziraphale gasped, pulling back from the bright gaze of slit-pupil eyes. “You—you’re awake!”

“Nnnh. Half.” Crowley shifted, head moving across the pillow, eyes threatening to shut again. “Wouldn’t miss your visit.” One hand reached out, plucked the doll from Aziraphale’s unresisting fingers. “For me?”

The angel nodded. “If…if…you like it…or I could—I could just…”

Without a word, Crowley pulled the doll under the duvet and curled up, tucking it under his chin, a faint smile on his lips.

“If you were awake you—you should have said something! I’ve been going—going off like a fool all this—oh!” Aziraphale could feel his face turning hot as he recalled a few times his tongue had been a bit too loose for propriety.

“Mmmmmh.” The golden eyes were shut again.

“Crowley?” No response. “Crowley!” Aziraphale scowled. “Anthony J. Crowley, if you’ve fallen asleep again, I swear, I’ll—”

He’d do what? The angel fumed, but what could he really threaten? To stay away? Never.

“Alright then, I suppose I’ll see you in June. I’ve had several new requests for extremely rare manuscripts and I need to go pen some responses reprimanding these vultures for their cheek. I can—”

“You can stay.”

He spun around. Crowley had one eye barely cracked open. Gently, he pulled back the duvet, showing there was just enough space for Aziraphale beside him.

“I…I couldn’t.” But he stepped forward, not back. “I have business tomorrow, things to—”

“Just tonight then.”

His fingers brushed the mattress and pulled back as if burned. “You—you don’t really mean this, you’re just talking in your sleep.”

“Nah.” Crowley settled the doll by his pillow, making space. “Why else would I give you my key?”

“I…to…water the plants?”

“They take care of themselves.” Crowley held open his arms, eyes shut once more. “I missed you, too.”

Well. What could he say to that?

Aziraphale took off his shoes and slid into bed, into Crowley's arms. They wrapped around him gently as Crowley wriggled closer. “Mmmm. Y’r softer than the doll.”

“Oh.” He’d been called soft many times, generally as a way to imply he was a failure as an angel. But just this once, it made him feel rather pleased. “Soft is good?”

“Verrrry good.” Crowley twisted a bit, trying to find a comfortable way to rest his long limbs, and finally settled curled up against Aziraphale’s chest, tucked below the angel’s chin with a leg hooked over his knees.

The angel smiled. “And you’re…you’re noodlier than a stuffed snake. Err…”

A chuckle, just a stirring of breath across his throat. “Can’t wait to hear the story behind that.” Crowley nuzzled against his shoulder with a sigh. “Good night, Angel.”

Aziraphale swept the brilliant hair back again and bent down, pressing his lips to Crowley’s forehead. A soft, gentle kiss that made his friend smile a little more broadly. “Good night, my dear.”

Crowley drifted off again, burrowing close, as the angel continued to gently tease the back of his hair. Perhaps, he thought, perhaps tomorrow's work wasn't so very urgent. Perhaps a bit of rest would do him good. And perhaps...

Well. Don't plan too much. But for the first time, Aziraphale felt a bit of optimism about the coming summer and its possibilities.

“Sleep well, Crowley.”

[1] Crowley had invented pumpkin spice, and Aziraphale assumed he must like it. In truth, Crowley despised it, and regretted every autumn how it took over the entire world. He missed apple cider season. [2] Aziraphale had suspected since the early 1950s that Crowley secretly took his tea with several lumps of sugar, but would continue to pretend he didn’t know until Crowley confessed. Considering current circumstances, that was unlikely to be any time soon. [3] Aziraphale’s fax machine, revived after over three decades of disuse, had been somewhat confused to be asked to perform any task at all, much less to print memes onto photo paper with perfectly balanced color; but like the plants and Crowley’s phone, it couldn’t stand to disappoint the angel. [4] It was possible he hadn’t quite mastered this new form of communication.