#i just think the image of her bonding with another woman is amazing as she doesn't really have any other women in her life atm

[brutalmasks]

okay... but in all seriousness, you all, i would kill for bunny mask to have a sister-like dynamic with another character. like she hasn't really had the opportunity to explore her femininity much because she's so goal-oriented but i would love? to see her going to try on dresses with another woman?? and/or learning about different methods of self-care things like pampering herself every once in a while and just... taking breaks a lot more often to sleep / laze around a bit??? plus, i think bunny mask doesn't really address things that are stressing her out until they get so overwhelming, that she can't ignore them anymore. so perhaps someone could teach her that figuring out the underlying reason for your stress and doing what you can to improve it early on is really good for you / your health. idk i just have a lot of thoughts regarding her, you all, because i love her.

[sanjoongie]

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑳𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒆𝒅

🍄Pairing: Fae Prince! San x Mushroom Guard! Reader

🍄Au: royal au, fantasy au, fae au

🍄Trope: prince/guard, power dynamic

🍄Genre: smut

🍄Rating: 18+, MDNI

🍄Warnings: descriptors of reader because you are a mushroom fae, dom! reader, sub! san, fear play, begging, making out, rutting/wet humping, degradation, verbal instruction, penetrative sex with no barrier, psychedelic sex (san got high from fucking a mushroom girl), consent before said high sex, pussy-drunk san, oral (f), hair tugging (m)

🍄Word Count: 4,259

🍄Summary: you were created for one sole purpose: to guard the nephew of the Unseelie King. Choi San was arrogantly confident that you would keep him from Death's Door; for if he died, so ended your life as well. But what you did not expect from your Fae Princeling was that he was just as dedicated to your body as you were his.

🍄Author's Note: happy birthday to the man that never fails to make me smile. your hard work and dedication to your craft and to make others around you happy never ceases to amaze me. Here's to your large heart (and even bigger tits)

San entered the ballroom with all the impudence of an arrogant Fae Prince. Nephew to the current King of the Unseelie, San was one of the most important Fae in the room. But he was also very much in danger. 

That’s how you came to be created. No allegiance could be sure, in the Fae realm, and even an oath binding could be wiggled out of with a few loophole words. So, life was breathed into you, as a mushroom. You were created in a woman’s image and your bond to San was that unlike any sworn servant. You see, your life was in San’s hand. You were created to be his loyal guard, and if he so happened to die, then your life would be taken from you as well. 

The whispers ran through the crowd like a wave retreating from the coast. Your deep russet hair, with random white spots and dull ivory skin had not been seen before. The simple rush of being the attention flushed through your body.

“Where did you dig up this beauty, San?” A bored voice drawled.

San ducked his head in greeting to multiple people but smirked towards the one asking this particular question. “From the dark, musky part of the forest.”

You scratched the back of your neck and turned your head to hide your flush. 

“Does she guard your body well?” Another asked.

Your sword whipped from its sheath by your side and wavered at the chest of the Fae who dared demand you did not complete your life's duty to the best of your ability. 

San pushed your sword down with two fingers, chuckling. It drew your sword down the body of the male fae, who looked a little turned on by it, if you were being honest. “Careful now, Wooyoung, that sword is poisonous.”

“Is your uncle really that worried about you?” 

San shrugged like he hadn't a care in the world. 

A spring dryad walked with an extra sway in her hip to your charge. You intercepted her immediately. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I was bid to entertain the prince,” The dryad responded, sending a gratuitous wink towards San.

You smiled but it was full of bitter recognition. “No one is allowed to come near the prince, dryad. Go find someone else to weakly hump.”

The dryad let out a loud ‘humph’, clearly insulted, and found a more receiving Fae Lady. 

San leaned into you from behind to whisper into your ear. “Jealous?”

“No one is touching you,” You insisted, keeping your face blank. 

San mingled during the ball but he did not ask for anyone’s hand to dance. He conversed and drank, spilling out anything that wasn’t approved by you. You ate and drank anything he consumed first, to make sure it wasn’t poisonous. You, of anyone, were the best at discovering if something was poisonous or not. 

But soon, your Fae Prince tired of socializing and was ready to leave the ball. It was truly sad that he was unable to attend the final waltz of the evening. He danced so well. You shook your head. This was no time to get your head full of images of San.

The quiet roar of the crowd fell behind the both of you as you left the ball. San’s smart shoes clicked rhythmically against the wood floor polished with age and use. You kept your ears and eyes open for any threats that thought they could take advantage of the early morning hours. 

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many eyes more interested in someone other than myself,” San said.

You scoffed at his statement. “Oh, you had plenty of eyes on you, My Lord.”

San cocked his head curiously, turning on his heel to look at you. “Did you want to squish those offending eyes with your fingers, Red?”

Your hand tightened on the grip of your sword. “My Lord,” you growled in warning.

San smiled impishly, playing with the black opal bracelet on his wrist. “But it's so fun to tease you!”

You jerked your chin in the direction of San’s rooms. “Shall we get to where it’s safe first and you can tease me all you want?”

San sighed wearily. “Fine, have it your way.”

A tiny bit of stress left your shoulders the minute you closed the door to the suite of rooms that were due to the Unseelie Fae King’s nephew. San did not move to his bedchambers nor did he begin to disrobe, like you had hoped. He was looking to wriggle under your skin with his words like a worm in a rotting apple. 

“I should have insisted you wear a more revealing dress,” San teased, his eyes alit with malicious merriment. “Perhaps that would have lured Yunho to caress that perk little bottom you were created with.”

“My Lord--”

“San, please, Red. We are in my rooms and you shall address me as I prefer. I am your lord, as you say.”

“San, your self destruction is almost an art.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Is it self destruction to--”

You gracefully swung your sword from its sheath and had the tip delicately touching San’s neck, just below his Adam's apple, in mere seconds. “--yes, it is.”

San held himself still, glancing down at the sword and then back to meet your eyes. “You can’t harm me.”

“Wrong,” You corrected him. “I cannot kill you.”

You leaned in slightly and a small cut bled immediately from San’s neck. You gasped when you felt a nick of pain on your neck. You reached up with your free hand to check and came back with black ooze. 

“See.” San smiled crookedly, revealing his canine teeth. “I told you, you can’t harm me.”

You twisted your lips in a grimace. Even your poison would have no effect; San consumed an antidote for your poison every day, for the sake of you simply being unable to harm him. You should have guessed that along with your lives being intertwined, you would be harmed when he was harmed as well. 

In a small fit of rage and rebellion, you whipped your sword in the air and then twirled it to sheath it. San opened his mouth as if to question the sudden embellishment of swordsmanship and then gasped when his decorative armor fell from his body. 

“It is time for you to go to sleep, little lordling,” You commanded. 

San slipped both his hands into the deep pockets of his satin pants. “Put me to sleep?”

You rubbed your face tiredly. “That, most definitely is not a part of my job.”

San stood there, topless, folding one arm behind his head while scratching the back of his neck. “I would like it to be.”

“I am supposed to be guarding you,” You growled. “I can’t do that if you’re inside of me.”

San sent you a boyish grin. “What better way to guard my body than to be as close as you can be?”

 You searched what you assumed was your heart, to see if this was the right choice in your path of your new life. You could feel your heartbeat but was it for the Fae Prince because if his heart withered, yours would go with it? Or was it because the roguishly handsome Lord really had grown on you enough to bed him?

San took a step forward, cautious of your abilities with your sword. He ran a finger along your bare shoulder. “You’re not even a little bit curious?”

“I didn’t have time to be curious,” You spat. 

This wasn’t the first time San had propositioned you. Nor would it be the last if you declined. He was adamantly vying for your body. Something about tonight was pushing you towards finally folding for him. 

“You’ve got time now,” San said. He walked around you, still trailing that finger along your skin. He was behind you now. “So how about it?”

He was temptation, with his muscles gleaming and the satin clinging to his legs. San knew that, you knew that. And of course you were curious. But was the risk worth it?

“If you ask me, I think it’ll only bind us even more,” San whispered, now on your other side. “You will have known me in my most intimate moment and will always be able to protect me.”

“I think someone had a little too much Fairy Wine, my lord,” you mused. 

“Nay.” San shook his head. “You would know me as a giggly fool if I had drunk truly. I am sober and looking to finally bring down your barriers, Red.”

“Want me desperate for you when typically I am reserved?” You mocked him.

San stood in front of you once again. His face was a combination of seriousness and lust. He put his hands on your shoulders and pulled you against him. You didn’t resist him. Your chest was pressed against his when he murmured, “Don’t our hearts beat as one? Shouldn’t we be connected in this final way?”

You tipped your head and kissed your sworn liege lord. His lips were soft and wet and when he sighed into your mouth, your tongue sought to tangle with his. San cupped the back of your head, tilting his head, and deepening the kiss. You allowed him to back you up to his bed and tumbled onto it with him. San managed, with his strength and grace as a Fae, to turn you around so that he hit the bed and didn’t even break the kiss.

You ate at his mouth like he was honey and you couldn't get enough of the sweet, sticky substance. You could feel your body tingling from the kisses but San was fairing much worse. When you broke the kiss, his tongue came out, chasing yours. He lied there, his pupils blown, looking like a panting dog. 

“San, are you quite alright?” You wondered. 

“You are like the sweetest, strongest brandy I have ever drunk.” San smiled lazily. 

You sat back. San appeared… he could not lie so he wasn’t drunk before you began to kiss. The situation was odd. 

Now that you sat back, however, you could not deny what was waiting for you under San’s satin pants. The Fae prince moaned lowly as your ass put pressure against his straining hard-on. His hands found your hips, and he held you in place, so he could grind up into you. “What will it take for you to let me slip inside of you?”

You frowned delicately. You petted your braid in thought. There was something off about this but you could not put your finger on it for the life of you. “Have you been taking your antidote potion regularly?”

“ ‘course I do. Don’t be silly.” He groaned as he pushed his cock between your lips, with only his satin pants as a barrier. He was ruining the garment but it didn’t seem like he cared at the present.

“Very well,” You shrugged. 

You grounded your lower half against San and his back arched off the bed. “Please,” he whimpered. 

“What do you want, San?” You said coolly. “Tell me and I may be able to fulfill your demand.”

San’s eyes widened, as if in an attempt to push off whatever stupor was pulling him in. Was he simply the type of man who became a slave to a cunt until he was satisfied. “Take me, take all of me, deep inside of you. I need to feel encompassed by you.”

“My sweet Fae prince,” You cooed mockingly. “All high and mighty because of his mushroom guard but the minute he gets behind closed doors, he’s a whining mess, rutting up into a pussy that’s always been denied to him.”

San pouted. “You’ll let me have it, right? You won’t let me lie here, begging, will you? Please, I’ll be good.”

You clucked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, moving your hips against San again. “Be good? You don’t know the meaning.”

San raised his hands from your hips and laid them on either side of his head, in abeyance to you. He even kept his eyes lowered but his Adam's apple was bobbing again. “I can try.”

You lifted your lower half up so that you could reach underneath you and yank San’s pants down. San gasped as the cool air suddenly hit his raging hard-on. You grasped his phallus immediately and began to run the head of him along your wet folds under your short copper dress. 

It was a test and San was struggling. His hands made tight fists and he bit hard on his lower lip. “Don’t you want to be inside of me, Sannie? What’s stopping you from…” You angled his cock to be flush with your hole. “...simply penetrating me with one sharp movement, San?”

San whined in the back of his throat. “I can be a good little Fae Prince for you.”

You let go of San’s cock, watching it slap his stomach satisfactorily. You rutted along the length, coating it in your slickness. You didn’t know which god or goddess San was praying to, but his lips moved fervently in silence. As if that would help him. 

You supposed he was taking his oath seriously. He was being good and hadn't attempted to take control since he said he would relinquish his power to you. Perhaps you could reward him.

You leaned down against San’s chest. He was sweating profusely, withholding back was taking a lot out of him. You ran a finger around the areola of his nipple. “Shall you show me what a good boy you can be?”

San nodded very quickly. “What do you need from me?”

“Flip us over and you may penetrate me. But!” You stopped your new lover. “You must go slowly. I want you to watch as every inch enters me.”

San licked his lips, wetting them once again. “And then?”

You chuckled. “Let’s see if you can do it first, Sannie.”

San had you flipped just as quickly as before, albeit slightly more clumsy. “You are the most beautiful mushroom lady I have ever had the pleasure of fucking.”

You snorted. “I am the only one of my kind, Choi San.”

“Still.” San grasped his dick with a soft gasp and then angled it between your open thighs. “You put the majority of the Fae Court to shame.”

You both groaned lowly as he finally pushed the head of his cock into your wet entrance. He pushed and pushed, and to be honest, it was a struggle for both of you. He was thick and seemed to fill you up perfectly.

“So! Wet!” San panted. “I--” he whined in the back of his throat. “Are we in the middle of a fairy ring?!”

Alarmed you had accidentally caused a growth of mushrooms, you looked wildly around but the room simply had San's minimal but expensive decorations; no mushroom in sight.

“San, are you sure--?!”

San completed sinking into you. He held himself aloft, his arm muscles moving as he shifted. He closed his eyes, perhaps in an attempt to focus on not jackhammering inside of you.

“Please? Queen of my desires? Let me plunge in your depths. I need to--I will die, surely, holding myself inside of you like this!” San pleaded.

You traced a finger along San’s collarbones. “You are so dangerously handsome.”

San swallowed loudly. “Dangerously handsome enough to fuck you so hard that you'll see stars?”

This fae princeling, this arrogant, untouchable man, was a puddle between your legs and you were becoming quite charmed by it. 

San blinked hard, clenching his eyes and shook his hair out of his face. The lines of his nose and jaw balanced out the soft curves of his lips. He really was gorgeous. 

“San,” You hummed softly. 

San opened his eyes and they were glossy with lust. “Red. I'm all yours. I've always been all yours. You're dedicated to keeping my body safe and I'm dedicated to yours.”

You pulled San closer, wrapping your arms behind his neck, and bringing him chest to chest to you. “Fuck me so hard I'll see stars,” You whispered into his ear.

A shudder went through San's body and then he tensed up so that he could pull back. “Better hold onto my arms,” he suggested.

The first thrust punched the air in your lungs out in a lusty cry. Your shoulders moved up the bed a full inch with the strength that San had thrusted into you. You immediately wrapped your hands around San's bicep to hold yourself in place. 

The cries didn't end as San fucked you hard. His thrusts were punctuated by a noise from you being thoroughly fucked, just as you had requested. You could hear the obscene slapping of skin against skin and the squishing of San’s cock against your wet entrance. It was debauchery at its finest and you couldn't find an ounce of you regretting it at this moment. 

San was a drooling mess in the crook of your neck even though his hips worked relentlessly between your legs. He whimpered and whined, pussy drunk inside of you. “So good, feels so good being inside of you, so wet, so tight, so good,” he babbled.

“San,” You said in a strained tone. “Remember, you are fucking me until I see stars, not the other way around.”

“I can… I can… I can be good…” San panted through his lust-filled mind. 

“Can you?” You groaned after a particularly hard thrust. “Can you put my needs before your own, you greedy princeling?”

“Can, can, can,” San chanted, even though he sounded like he was getting closer to his climax. 

You couldn't help but to sow a little chaos, considering how much chaos San had thrown your way this evening. “Are you going to come inside of me, Sannie?” 

San cried out and stilled his hips against you. “Nooooooo,” he lamented. “Why did you do that?”

“To see if I had that kind of power,” You admitted. You petted the back of his head in comfort. “But you were not a good little princeling, Sannie. You came before me.”

“It was so good,” San whined. “You can’t blame me!”

“I guess you’ll have to start over again,” You said flippantly.

San raised himself up so that he could look at you. He had the right amount of suspicion in his eyes as he said, “Start over again, how?”

Your fingers brushed some of his hair from his face that had stuck to his hairline from the sweat that was pouring off him. “Why, Sannie, you’ll have to clean up the mess you made inside of me and fuck me again.”

San’s eyes widened and you watched as he visibly slipped back into his subby headspace. “You want me to lick my cum from your pussy and then fuck you again?”

“Mmm,” You hummed. “Can you do that for me? Be a good little princeling and fix the mess you made? Do you want to be a good boy for me, Sannie?”

“Yes, please,” San murmured.

He immediately slid down your body and pressed his plush lips to your core that was aching for a release. You could feel his cum leaking from you and that’s how San began, licking your cunt diligently. And when he couldn't find any more cum to lick, he slowly stuck his tongue inside of you, looking for leftovers. 

“Yes, San,” You moaned. “Such a good boy for me. Put your tiny little tongue inside of me and make me feel something.”

San groaned against your cunt, and the richness of his baritone voice washed over you. You would have let him make you come with his tongue plowing inside of you but you were firm in teaching San that you were the one in charge and he needed to follow your directions. 

You pulled San’s head up by gripping his hair and tugging upwards. “Time’s up. Did you clean me up well?”

San’s appearance, with your slickness and remnants of his own cum all over his bronze face, was one for the record. He smiled lazily, looking like a cat caught drinking the cream. “You taste so good. Like a mushroom pastry. I could eat you up all day.”

You brushed some of the fluids from his pink lips with the pad of your thumb. “Shall I tell the other courtiers why you’re so busy? Can’t be bothered with any of the Fae politics or affairs, because you’d simply rather be between a mushroom guard’s thighs?”

San’s face flushed with pleasure and embarrassment. “If it pleases you.”

“Lie down, Little Princeling,” You commanded softly.

San did so, his body now horizontal to the bed. You finished pulling off his pants and discarded the soft copper-worked dress you had donned that evening. This moment of total dominance, of a bared soul, deserved flesh against flesh, heart against heart.

“I will ride you, my fair lord,” You declared. You set a knee on either side of San’s narrow hips. “I will take you within my cunt, dripping of my own desire and yours spent, and I will take exactly what I want from you. And you will lie there and give me everything, won’t you?”

San’s irises were round like saucers. He seemed unable to completely focus but he did respond. “I would pull the stars from the sky and string them along a chain for you, Red. Is that what you want? To show that the Fae Prince you guard is owned by his mushroom lover? I will do it. I would prostrate myself before my uncle and declare myself unfit to be next in line because I am simply a puppet to your--”

You put a finger to San’s lips and he quieted. “Do not speak of such a thing while you are between my legs, San. All your wits have gone out with your cum.”

San smiled dopily. “You make me this way, Heart.”

“Do not call to me fondly either,” You scolded him gently. “This should not cross from lust to love.”

“Then I will simply have to work harder for your love,” San sighed dreamily. 

You laughed under your breath. There really was no stopping this man once he got something in his head. “Let us start with this,” You said as you angled his cockhead to your entrance. 

San began to babble once again while your body struggled to adjust to his girth. “Why must you squeeze me so tightly? It is as if you would eat me whole with your cunt!”

You laughed in amusement, voice tight with your own withheld struggles. “If you were a mortal and I, a simple mushroom, it would be so, would it not?”

San groaned, his eyes rolling into the back of his head with pleasure as you took him full-hilt inside of you. “You make me come undone, Red.”

You moved your hips, watching San intake sharply at the sudden movement. “I quite like it this way.”

San part moaned and part laughed. “You’ll drive me mad with lust. Can I touch you?”

“You may,” You allowed with a small dip of your head. 

San’s hands smoothed up your thighs, over your hips, and then they encompassed your waist, thumbs skimming your rib bones. Finally they rested just below your breasts, looking to cup them both. “I wish to sink into you every morning and every evening, sometimes in between.”

You bounced slightly, enjoying the way San’s eyes were eating you up. His hands held your breasts in place as you slowly began to build some pleasure between the two of you. “Perhaps I’ll allow it, Sannie. But only if you’re good.”

San licked his lips slowly. “I can be real good to you, Red.”

“So far you’ve only been a spoiled princeling, taking what he wanted and giving nothing back,” You reminded him.

San pursed his lips in thought. “Only--!” He paused to gasp at the pleasure luring his mind away from reality. “--only you do this to me. I am a skilled lover. I have made others weep. Please, I can prove myself a second time. You are--there is something about you that drives all the edges of my brain to soft, unending, blurred lines.”

“But you know enough that it is me you are inside,” You joked.

San sat up suddenly, more serious than you had seen him all night. His eyes traveled over the planes of your face. “Nothing could make me forget you.”

And so you rode San like this, chest to chest, heart to heart, eye to eye. You drank in every gasp and whine that left his pretty lips. San ran his fingers up and down your bare back. And finally when your orgasm overwhelmed you, breaking over you like a wave over a cliff, he kissed you with his mouth slanted over yours, determined to feed from your noises. 

You were both spent but you realized that regardless of the energy, neither of you were looking to be separated from each other, even when San’s cock softened and your wetness leaked out. He continued to keep you in his arms and you found yourself tracing the sharp planes of his face. There was something new between you; but you didn’t have a name for it yet. It was pleasant and that would suffice for now.

[lovefrombegonia]

I just finished watching Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahaani and...idk...I actually, keep thinking about Dhanlakshmi. Idk why. That character was always in the background, so imposing, even with limited screen time and dialogues, her influence was felt everywhere. So suffocating and so... miserable, lonely, arrogant, and just pathetic. She made everyone suffer. She made her own son pathetic. He would follow her around blindly, she never let him near his father. The reason was stated by Rocky that she didn't want Tijori to become a poet like his father. I...I really feel like her story was also worth exploring. Maybe, it's just that Jaya Bachchan is a POWER HOUSE who can give so much depth and nuance to even a villainous character like Dhanlakshmi. Her range is so amazing...and her story too ended after marriage. She is Amitabh Bachchan's wife, no longer her own personality in the public image. Mind you: I AM NOT BLAMING AMITABH BACHCHAN. I understand it's just the whole society, and the situation of that time. But watching her acting chops, her comedic timing, her venomous words as Dhanlakshmi, her pain and helplessness at watching the husband she estranged being purely in love with another woman, who loved him back, her losing the only "bond" she shared with her son...the bond that was made by her controlling him like a puppet, all that...and you still FEEL her pain. She is an abuser who was also abused and who probably never got support from her passive husband. I see all that story, just from Jaya's expressions.

I was thinking, the whole time, will she get the chance to make up with her husband? Her son? Will that even be a fair ending to a ruthless character like her? The answer is no. She got the ending she deserved. Ending up alone. With the only person she ever served. Herself. And at that age, it's near impossible to have the energy and motivation to change. She did the only thing she could do. Repent. That too, she did in her own way. Sitting alone, with her imposing portrait hanging over her head.

Dhanlakshmi got a fair ending.

[polycrowtruther]

AHHHHHHH i just read two of the works in your shadow of yotsuya collection ITS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD OH MY GOD i dont think ive ever read a SOC fic that i've loved quite THIS MUCH AHHHHHH AHHHHHH its got me kicking my legs and giggling. first off the whump is amazing i love it its beautiful and your WRITING i need to pull specific quotes but i'll get those later AHHHHH the fact that its polycrowstoo?!!? YESSSS!!! YES!!!! YES!!!!! the OCS you write are so so like fleshed out its beautiful usually-sometimes im like "okk watever im not like emotionally tethered to their wellbeing" when people add ocs because i want to read about the characters from the canon and stuff but all the characters you've introduced are SO SO SO SO so so so so so so amazing.. obv oiwa is amazing and having the sibling bond between her and kaz shot and killed me and the 3 sisters were so SO good, (also ms. able was so cute she reminds me of the woman who owns a crafts store near where i live who lets me take free buttons sometimes) ,, AAAAaaa even the villian whos name i forgot how to spell, , mr. v something? like him being coocoo bananas is cool and having the connections with nina.. ugh oh my god kaz not wanting to tell them stuff because he doesnt watn them to be paranoid.. SCREAMS!!!! its so good ITS SO GOOD AHHHH this is one of those fics i wanna print out and get a hardcover copy of so i can annotate it and sleep with it under my pillow etc ok now i gotta show u the parts i loved the mostest (but there was NOT A SINGLE PART i didnt like bcuz all of it is amazing10/10 beautiful showstopping): -ok 1stly the DICTION the ADJECTIVES YOU USE ahhhh okay "A haunting image she had supposedly made, her dead eyes staring at the heavens as if she would tear them from the sky for what had been done to her." GAH DAMN!!! this is such a beautiful line its so poetic

-also "Stray cats, slow doves," and the rest of that paragraph is pretty too but i really liked that line its so like.. not quaint but i cant think of another word.. i love your descriptions of kaz's childhood with jordie D: heartbreaking at the same time tho -"He dashed the thought of it against the stones." -OH AND the hollow beings paragraph part Hollow beings filled themselves with whatever they could get a hold of, and they were both so very hollow in the wake of what they had been through. YES YES uguahfUAEGDUHB this part especially aaaaaa -ALSO all the dog references reminds me of that other soc poster who writes about the dog metaphors.. yesssss yesss!!! YESSSS aegsfgbdsnfibvdddr -He rapped his knuckles against the door twice, and it opened to reveal two girls pushing a large cart, with a third girl trailing behind them. <-- i hadnt noticed it before but that must be waynoka..rip (and The ghost shook her head sadly, “It’s no use, they can’t see me. Haven’t been able to since I got out of the basement.” OWWWW my soul. it hurts in my heart) -the gorier parts where kaz was being tortured were SO GOOD too ahhhhhhh the 'decaying' and 'carving' i felt like i was reading ummm what was that book. we have always lived in this castle or like.. the castle of otranto. verygoth lit vibes it was really fluid.. yssss that and the descriptions of the basement and the corpses definitely were giving edgar allen poe

-also kkaz's drugged speech was so funny. and also sad but mostly funny "Such a ‘powerful’ Grisha he had made. He couldn’t even withstand a kid who bent spoons and talked to ghosts. "

-"“The Shadow of Yotsuya was a vegetarian,” Kaz snarked, “But the Butcher’s Blade on the East Stave loves to chew up his victims. He prefers them stubborn and skeptical, too, I hear.”" Oomgg i didnt catch the reference to the 2nd part when i read it the first time,,,

OH ALSO i loved that you had kaz like translate/interpret what she was saying that KILLED me but also i reallyliked that it wasnt an exact copy of what waynoka said,, ""Kaz pursed his lips at that. “I’m not good at being strong or happy.”" i love that all the dialouge had to be like...filtered through kaz's fucked up lense from the barge, esp cuz the sisters relationship is such a close mirror to his and jordiessss HHsfadfbgfgdghtrfgbhgtr i loved that it was so similar u write SO WELL aeugsbfiefrgrerfgrtghjmhgfdrghygfSAFDGUISEDGVRSIUONGSN

i just realized how much i typed D: sorry for lowkey rambling but i LOVE THIS FIC!!! i also saw in the authors note thing at the beginning of the spirit of grief that you just had surgery and ur in pain :( i hope you feel better soon

Ahh! Thank you so so much! I am truly honored to hear you like the story so far! Shadow of Yotsuya was a lot more of my own personal brand of brain rot compared to some of my other fics (I am such a horror fan, and I couldn't help but sprinkle some horror into the GV), so every time I hear people like it I giggle and kick my feet and scream and chew at the walls. Ahh! Thank you, I don't think I could ever really articulate how happy this makes me to read!

My sisters were the inspiration for the trio, so hearing they aren't boring ocs makes me feel a little less self conscious haha! I get that feeling sometimes too, where I care more about the pre-established characters than the OCs, so I really tried extra hard to make them feel like they'd naturally be a part of the Grishaverse - even though I lie awake at night knowing full well I have taken so many creative liberties with the extended lore and cultures that Leigh created! I'm so happy they don't feel out of place!

I really enjoy delving into perspective and how each Crow is technically an unreliable narrator because their own past experiences skew how they are interpreting what's going on - once I finish the series I was even considering going back and writing a bonus little ficlet where we see the Verzamelaar mansion indecent from Jaya and Kishori's perspective to show just how scary Kaz can be sometimes, but I have to actually finish the story first haha! And trust me, we are going to get a LOT more polycrow content now that the crows are starting to catch up on what has been happening

Please never apologize for being enthusiastic - this literally made my month reading it and I'm not even exaggerating. Plus I know I can't be the only one who gets excited when people comment on their fics! Seriously, you are far too kind, I really can't stress how cool it is to see quotes of my own writing analyzed and talked about back with me. Like. That is my literal dream right there! This is super sweet! Ah!

[suomeen]

Chapter 6: Cold Waves and Warm Welcomes

On January 2, Russia launched 99 missiles on Kyiv and Kharkiv, leaving dozens wounded and dead. A part of me felt guilty for not being there, even though it would have done absolutely no good. But it also reminded me I made the right call.

Meanwhile, the temperature outside dropped to up to -35 degrees. Apparently, this was unusual even for Finland and a record for the century. I’m glad I had a very thick and warm down jacket with me because I can’t image what I’d do without it. At one point, I had a doctor’s appointment and I miscalculated the distance to the clinic. It turned out to be a 8-minute walk and not 3 so I was genuinely concerned I might get a frostbite because I wasn’t feeling my hands or face. I had to seek refuge in the nearest door, which turned out to be a musical instrument shop with a cool staff.

Our apartment with white beds and plastic cups felt more like a hospital ward. We took very little with us, so we needed all kinds of things, big and small. You don’t really realize how many things you need in your daily life until you have to start anew. Mops and can openers, brushes and scissors, kettles and curtains, - there are so many things you don’t think about but the absence of which makes life very uncomfortable. So we took to the flea markets and consignment shops. We were building our life from the ground up. But we had to still consider the fact that we could be moved any time so we shouldn’t get anything big or costly. Make it cozier but don’t get too attached. From now on, you don’t have a home.

About a week into the year, another young woman moved in. Tetiana is from the Western Ukraine, though she spent the past 10 years working in Poland. At first, I wasn’t sure if we would get along. She seemed a little chaotic, very alert and a kind of territorial. But soon I realized it was just the result of her life experience. She’s working class and spent years working odd jobs, in factories and cleaning, often having to share rooms with very questionable people. She got fucked over a lot so her apprehension became very understandable. Once she felt she was in company of decent friendly people, she relaxed and showed a very different side. She’s not educated, but very curious and hard-working and also quite childlike when you get to know her. She proved to be an excellent cohabitant.

Tetiana also knows how to grip life by the balls so she gets around quickly. There was a middle-aged Ukrainian man living on the first floor. We soon learned his name was Uncle Sasha and many people would come and ask about him. We didn’t know him but it wasn’t hard to connect the dots. Uncle Sasha knows things and how to get things. Soon though he was moving out because his children moved and the apartment was considered too big for him and his wife. He had to clear out the apartment, including furniture. This is how we got an old but comfy sofa and a bunch of teen boy clothes. Our standard of living took off.

It took some time to get used to our new arrangement but after a while, the 4 of us formed a loose but stable bond, keeping a healthy distance. We were always very polite and supportive to each other. We often shared meals and occasionally drinks. We gave each other space when he felt someone needed it. It really worked.

Sharing an apartment and a life with strangers… It’s not something I would ever choose but it was nice to live through. It’s amazing how in such a short time you can develop a rather close companionship. It felt like a blessing.

One day I had a talk with one of the social workers from the reception center who came over to install new locks. Not many of them speak English well so I took the opportunity. She was incredibly nice and kind. We had a warm earnest talk and she told me they were there to do everything they could to make us feel at home and give us everything we need. I told her I would love to give back in some way and that I’m doing my best to learn. She said I could take my time, there was no rush. I nearly cried. I asked her for a hug before she left. And I am not a hugger. At all.

Once we finally got our IDs and prepaid cards, my mind was finally somewhat at ease. There was some sort of stability.

But of course, this was just another illusion and it made the upcoming reality check even harder.

[frugalkubal]

Since I can't post images for some reason (most likely my barely functional internet connection and old ass phone), I just ranked my favourite Jigokuraku characters by category.

⚠️Contains Manga Spoilers

☆ Asaemons:

1. Fuchi. I adore him so much, you have no idea. He's smart, adorable, weird (affectionately speaking), and probably an aroace like me. ♡ XD I was disappointed when he died, but he looked so happy that I just accepted it. I wasn't even mad at Shugen bc Fuchi wasn't.

2. Sagiri. I love her so much. She's such a badass but not spiteful in the slightest and still quite feminine. I love how she's so kind. I love how she's like the captain of the GabiYui ship. 😂💕

3. Shion. I like him like how I like JJK's Nanami. I highly respect responsible, thoughtful adults and kind mentors like them.

4. Tenza. He deserved so much better. He deserved the potential future that he imagined. If I have to draw it for him despite my busy sched, then heck I will.

5. Senta. He also deserved better. He just wanted to draw in peace, damnit. ಥ_ಥ

6. Shugen. 🎶Oh, he's sweet but a psycho. A little bit psycho~🎶 (Ngl, I love him for that.) Other than that song, the phrase "Power of Friendship" would also immediately remind me of him. 😂 He's unhinged and blinded by his sense of honor and duty, but he's still freaking awesome. He's THE BEST among all of the swordsmen in this series. I like how he's the only one in the series who's capable of changing his tao attribute while he copies his fellow Yamada clansmen's techniques. He's like the Kise Ryouta of swordsmanship. Plus, they're both emotional guys with broken tear ducts. 🤣

7. Isuzu. She's tall, dark and gorgeous. ♡ She's also polite. Plus, she's strong and quite skilled with the sword.

☆ Criminals:

0. Yui. She's a criminal in a way the she took Gabimaru's heart and killed his old coldblooded self. lol I adore this woman! She's just freaking awesome both as a human and as a wife. ♡♡♡

1. Gabimaru. His absolute dedication to be reunited with the one and only love of his life, his beloved Yui, is just so damn admirable. Plus, he's freaking awesome when he fights. If Shugen has the power of friendship, Gabi has the power of love and marriage. 😂💕

2. Gantetsusai. I love this guy's character development the most. I love the genuine friendship he gradually formed with Fuchi; I love how such friendship positively influenced his new life after this whole ordeal with the island. Plus, he can be freaking hilarious. Heck, even the reason he got imprisoned was kinda hilarious.

3. Yuzuriha. She's just as awesome and pretty as her girlfriend (Sagiri). ♡ XD I love how she's so skilled, carefree, optimistic and funny. I also love how she encourages Sagiri at times when the latter was about to give up.

4. Aza brothers. I just love their strong bond and how awesome of a big brother Chōbe is to Tōma. I also like how they're both strong and a little unhinged. lol Plus, they kinda look like KiriBaku's kids in another universe. 😂

5. Nurugai. She didn't even commit a crime, damnit. ಥ‿ಥ I love how she's kind, straightforward and clever for her age. I'm aware she's quite young (12) and some people find it icky for her to marry Tenza(17) but I just gave consideration to their time period's customs/norms. Also, they're both pure, wholesome beans so I'm not bothered if they eventually got married if Tenza hadn't died — only if Nuru's 16 in that marriage (like in Gabi's case). That would've been the better ending for Tenza. T_T

6. Shija. I don't want to put another category for ninjas, so I'm just adding this unhinged nonbinary yandere here. ♡ XD I felt kinda bad for them for ending up the way they are bc of how they're raised. Also, I think they're an amazing fighter/ninja; afterall, they were supposed to be the next "Gabimaru The Hollow."

7. Rokuruta. Who wouldn't like this freakishly huge and strong 8-year-old feminist? 🤣

☆ Island folks:

1. Mei. She's sane and has a good heart. She's also adorable! ♡

2. Hōko. He's Mei's loving dad in this hell. ಥ‿ಥ

3. Gui Fa. They're just so chill, rational and kinda socially awkward, y'know. Love that about them. ♡ I also like that they don't give a damn about bochu jutsu and would rather read a book. Quite relatable tbh. 😂

That's all. I don't really care about everyone else. •‿•

[where-theres-smoak-2]

HOTD Ep 6 Review/Analysis (Spoilers)

Another week another episode of HOTD as per usual this episode was jam packed and there was a lot going on. We had a ten year time jump so it did feel alot like a kind of second pilot, there were lots of new characters with the children that had been born during that time jump. We also have new actors for Rhaenyra, Alicent,  Laenor and Laena and they all do an amazing job. So without further ado here are my thoughts on the episode, as always there are spoilers. 

Who’s the Daddy 

The episode opens with Rhaenyra giving birth to her third son. I will say that it was a very realistic birthing scene yet those sound effects made me feel so uncomfortable. I did love the moment she is handed her baby and you can see that she is just overjoyed and so in love with him instantly. But there is that little moment that’s a little sad when she asks if the baby is healthy and you just know her mother and her lost baby brother aren’t far from her mind even 14 or so years later. But seeing Rhaenyra holding her son was a very emotional moment especially when you consider the fear she had to overcome about childbirth in order to have her heirs. Its clear she deeply loves her sons. 

The mood changes entirely though when Alicent commands that the baby be brought to her immediately. I had a huge problem with this, it was just so wrong. Rhaenyra decides to take her son herself and even though Alicent doesn’t command that Rhaenyra be the one to bring him I was still disgusted at her request. You don’t remove a child that is minutes old from its mother and traipse it through a castle just so that you can determine whether or not it looks like its father or not. For me it was the pointlessness of it all, it was just so unnecessary. For one if she was so desperate to see the child that she couldn’t wait then she should have gone to the child. Secondly her whole reason for wanting to see the child was to assess whether it was Laenor’s or not. Well if it isn’t Laenor’s and doesn’t look like Laenor in the first 2 minutes of being born then he still won’t be a couple of days after being born. Alicent could have waited, she could have shown some compassion and allowed Rhaenyra the time to rest and bond with her child. It is made worse to me by the fact that in those days the first few hours to days after the baby is born are precarious. The health of the child can turn very quickly. When Rhaenyra’s baby brother was born he started out crying but a few hours later had died. Alicent put that child at risk by asking for him to be brought to her. 

Rhaenyra's protective mother instinct kicked in and she decided to take the baby herself, I think the reason she does this instead of letting someone else take him is in one part stubbornness, she doesn’t want to show weakness to Alicent or to give any ground to her in this battle of wills that they’ve got going on. I mean this woman delivers her afterbirth whilst getting dressed and then walks through the castle holding her child, whilst dripping blood, because she doesn’t want to give Alicent the satisfaction of thinking she got one up on her. She wants to project this image of being strong. But I think another reason is because she doesn’t trust Alicent and genuinely fears what she might do to her child. There is a moment when Alicent takes the baby from Viserys and you can see Rhaenyra becoming very tense and worried, she is clearly not comfortable with Alicent being near or holding her child. 

Alicent’s comment to Laenor about how if he keeps trying he might get one that looks like him was so uncalled for, it was just petty, there was no other reason for it. I did like that Laenor named him Joffrey after his ex lover though. I do agree with Rhaenyra that he should have discussed it with her first but I am also confused about why they didn’t discuss baby names way before now, they had nine months. I do agree with Laenor though that he should get a say in naming the child as he is their father too even if it isn’t biologically. Also the petty part of me hopes that every time someone refers to Prince Joffrey or every time Criston has to address Prince Joffrey he is reminded that he beat an innocent man to death, let it haunt him so he knows never to do it again. 

I thought the scene with Jacaerys and Lucerys showing Rhaenyra the egg was super cute, they were clearly excited about having a new baby brother. There were alot of sweet moments in that scene. Like when Harwin says ‘another boy I hear’ and he and Rhaenyra share that little smile, you can tell they are both proud of their little one. I also liked the dynamic between Harwin, Laenor and Rhaenyra, its clear that they have decided to all work together to take care of their babies, they are all equally involved and and they all clearly love those boys. I love the moment when the older boys are trying to get to the baby and you’ve got both Laenor and Harwin shooing them away it just screamed family to me. It was also wholesome to see Harwin just bouncing the baby. In fact I loved how all three of them cuddled and doted on little Joffrey. 

However as wholesome as the family unit was, it wasn’t perfect and you could see some cracks. All three of them are carrying this lie and I think it does take its toll. Laenor clearly loves his family but I feel like he feels a little left out, he’s frustrated at the situation and feels trapped and we can see he longs to be at sea or at battle, he’s feeling restless. Harwin again clearly loves the boys but he can never openly claim them, he has to be careful what he says because he can’t let on that he is their biological father. Rhaenyra is scared for her children, husband and her lover. She knows the lie is a dangerous one. If they are discovered then Harwin would most likely be killed and she and her sons would be sent into exile. If Laenor is discovered to be gay its possible he would also either be sent into exile or killed. But Rhaenyra's situation is a complicated one. At the end of the day she is married to a gay man but she is also expected to produce heirs. My theory is that even though they agreed before marrying to try and produce an heir and then do as they please, after watching his lover being beat to death Laenor probably wasn’t in the mood to try and lay down with a woman. I think he would have found it difficult in the first place but after that impossible, whilst it is possible that they did try, I think Laenor just couldn’t go through with the act. In this situation they’re weren’t many options for Rhaenyra to produce an heir other than choosing another man to sire them. As for her choice, I think it is easy to say well she could have at least chose a man of colour or someone with blond hair so that they would at least have that Targaryen feature. But she had to be careful in her choice and trust them completely so that they wouldn’t tell but I also think Rhaenyra has alot of fear around the safety of her children and people harming them or them not surviving the birth. It makes sense to me that she would chose the man who is considered the strongest man in the realm. Not only would he provide her with strong children but he would be a protector for them. Someone who will defend them from harm. Not only that but he is the son of the hand of the king and that is another potential ally for her children. Another layer of protection. Also he had protected her secrets in the past as he let her go when he caught her and Daemon in the city so she likely considered him reliable. Plus there was likely an attraction there between them. 

It all begins to unravel after the incident at the training yard where Harwin gives Cole the beating he deserves. I mean it was a little foolish on Harwin’s part as it did pretty much expose them but I can also understand that he was defending his child. Also how is it that Harwin after hitting Criston a few times loses his job and is pretty much sent away and yet Criston can beat a man to death in front of a crowd of people and not only keep his head but keep his position. That makes zero sense to me. The scene where Harwin comes to say goodbye to Rhaenyra and the boys is so heartbreaking because you can see there is so much they want to say to each other but can’t. When he talks about how he’ll be a stranger to Joffrey my heart just broke and Rhaenyra looked so devastated. I think Harwin having to leave is what ultimately made her come to the decision that she should take her family and leave to Dragonstone. Her sons’ protector has gone and I think she’s feeling very vulnerable now, I think that is part of the reason why during the conversation with drunk Laenor she pulls rank and commands him to stay instead of going to the step stones, at that point she could already feel it slipping from her control and she couldn’t be without Laenor as well. I did like that quote about the wise sailor flees the storm as it gathers. Its interesting when you compare it to Corlys’ quote about how you can either sail into a storm or around but you should not await its coming and Rhaenyra’s view of not deserting your post when the storm lashes. All these quotes do create this feeling that something is building, something big. I do think them leaving to go to Dragonstone is for the best as it might allow things to calm down a little. I did think it was sweet of Rhaenyra to let Laenor bring his new lover with them. I think when she said that she did not begrudge him his lifestyle in King’s Landing she really did mean it. Also as she pointed it they need all the swords they can get, all the allies. 

The other thing worth noting about this whole situation is that really it doesn’t matter who their father is, because Rhaenyra is their mother. When Jace asks if Harwin is his father and she replies ‘you are a Targaryen that’s what matters’ this is true. It is Rhaenyra’s blood that is important as she is the heir. Also we know that Kings are able to legitimise bastards so if the King and the heir are both saying that these children are legitimate then that should really be the end of it. 

The Greens

Yeah I am really not on team green. I had hoped that I could be impartial and see both sides and I do get Alicent’s motivation and where is comes from but I just don’t condone her actions and I found she and the other members of team green just frustrated me. I think my main irritation with Alicent and her allies this episode was that although technically they were right, Rhaenyra’s children were fathered by Harwin and not Laenor, they just went about it the wrong way. They came across as being petty and nasty. It didn’t help that many around them were making reasonable and rationale suggestions and Alicent was just sticking to her crusade against Rhaenyra which just doesn’t solve anything. It was also somewhat galling to hear her going on about honour and decency when chatting with a guy who murdered someone and somehow got away with it and when she is making ridiculous demands about newborn babies being presented to her minutes after being born. They themselves do not show honour and decency yet they are judging others. 

Another thing that I just thought was appalling was the way they were using the children and trying to turn them against Rhaenyra’s sons. It was clear that the boys don’t really have any ill will towards each other but you’ve then got Alicent poisoning Aegon’s ear telling him that Rhaenyra will kill him and that he should be king and Criston setting them against each other and encouraging them to be cruel. In that training session it was clear that he was showing an unfair bias towards Alicent’s children. He was giving them more attention. On the surface this might not seem like a big deal but the princes’ training is important especially for Jace as he will be heir to the throne, by showing favouritism to Alicent’s boys he is saying that they are more worth his time and he considers them the true heirs. Viserys whilst watching on has made it clear that he hopes having them training together will form a lifelong bond that kicking each other down but then helping each other up will bring them all together. But Criston is only teaching them to kick each other down, ‘don’t let him get back up’ he tells Aegon. Instead of helping them form a bond he is driving a wedge between them and stirring up animosity. Its also worth noting that when Harwin steps in to stop Aegon from continuing to beat Jace and he shouts at Harwin that he is the prince and Harwin shouldn’t dare to touch him, Viserys chastises Aegon. It is clearly an attitude that Viserys does not want in his son, he clearly wasn’t comfortable with this lesson that was being taught. Meanwhile Criston chastises Harwin telling him that’s the prince which only reinforces that sense of entitlement in Aegon. 

Which then brings me to the third member of the team, Larys. Boy is this guy messed up. I mean I was so nervous when I saw him cutting those guys tongues out because all I could think was what is he going to ask them to do that he feels the need to make sure they can’t talk about it after? Turns out it was murdering his own father and brother. Thing is even though Alicent didn’t ask him to do this she is still screwed. She was seen by that maid having a private dinner with Larys, not only that but she sent the maid away indicating that what they were talking about they didn’t want anyone to overhear. If rumours start going around that the fire at Harrenhal is suspicious then there’s no escaping the fact that Alicent stood to gain by having her father return as Hand of the King. If that maid talks then it could cause some unfortunate rumours. I think that conversation between Larys and Alicent about Otto was very telling though. Lyonel was a hand that was impartial who had honour and decency, the very things Alicent claimed to care about, yet she wanted him to be replaced by her own father because at least he would be partial to her. When she asked if there was no one in King’s Landing to take her side I couldn’t help thinking that if nobody is on her side then maybe she should consider the fact that its because she is on the wrong one. 

I can to some degree understand Alicent’s frustration. She worries that her son’s life is at risk and the only way she thinks his life will be secure is if he is on the throne. She also knows this truth that Rhaenyra's children are Harwin’s but it seems like everyone is turning a blind eye to it. This goes back to what I said earlier though about how if the King and the heir say they are legitimate then it is the end of it, Alicent doesn't seem to get this. Of course everyone knows the truth but they turn a blind eye to it because the King has decided that those are the legitimate children of his daughter. Because exposing it will throw the realm into chaos again, things are stable for the moment, Rhaenyra is the heir and Jace is after her. Nobody wants to upset the apple cart. 

I think both Alicent and Criston have become more and more bitter as the years have gone on and to be honest it is not a good look especially when you have others around them trying to come up with suggestions on how to mend the rift. Rhaenyra’s offer to have Jace and Helaena married and offering a dragon’s egg to Aemond for example was a very good deal, it would ensure that Alicent’s blood would eventually end up on the throne. Viserys saying that they should put the childish quarrels behind them and unite which will make them stronger for it was also very good advice yet Alicent childishly exclaims not until she is cold in her grave. Even Aegon when Alicent said that Rhaenyra will cut down any challenge and he sensibly replies well then I won’t challenge her. I honestly don’t think Rhaenyra would harm Aegon if unchallenged by him, I think the worst she would do is send him into exile if people start getting too pushy about him being king. Alicent refuses to even consider any of these suggestions just makes her seem petty and like she is being difficult. 

Little Dragon Riders

We got introduced to the next generation in this episode with Alicent, Rhaenyra and Daemon’s kids. What I thought was interesting with the kids though is their connection to their dragons. It seems like they put alot of self value in having a dragon. Two of the kids don’t have dragons Aemond and Rhaena. We learn that Rhaena’s egg never hatched. That scene where she is sitting by the fire with the egg hoping it might hatch tugged at my heartstrings, my poor baby. Laena mentions that half the eggs don’t hatch and that there is more than one way to bond with a dragon, that you can also claim one which is the harder path. I do wonder if it was the same case with Aemond that his egg didn’t hatch. If that is the case then it adds alot more weight to Alicent’s comment to Viserys about Jace and Lucerys, and how she is surprised their eggs hatched. Could it be that she has some resentment towards them because her true born son’s egg didn’t hatch but Rhaenyra’s sons’ eggs did? It is clear that both Aemond and Rhaena struggle with the fact that they don’t have dragons, it effects their self worth. They see themselves as less than because they don’t have a dragon like their sibling. Rhaena feels like her not having a dragon means her father ignores her and prefers Baela over her. I really hope this isn’t the case. But it is also so sad when Rhaena thinks that the prince of pentos might not let her stay. I really hope she gets  her own dragon one day, whether she claims one or maybe Rhaenyra said Syrax might lay a clutch of eggs and offered one to Aemond so maybe she’ll offer one to Rhaena too. I just really want Rhaena to have a dragon. 

Aemond similarly to Rhaena is facing challenges due to not having a dragon but with him it seems to be coming from his brother and nephews? I think they are his nephews anyway. They are bullying him because he doesn’t have a dragon which was so mean and did seem to be instigated by Aegon, it seems like Aegon is trying to corrupt Jace and Lucerys a bit by encouraging them to be cruel to Aemond. They dress up a pig as a dragon and mock him. Aemond sneaking down into the pit where the dragons are kept is interesting though as it shows how he longs to have a dragon and judging by Alicent’s comment about Aemond being obsessed with them he clearly feels a connection to them, it makes me think he might end up claiming a dragon as oppose to having one born to him. 

I liked that during the dragon training scene Jace was nervous, to me that is realistic even if that’s your dragon and you are targaryen with a connection to them they are wild animals at the end of the day, and dangerous. It reminds me a bit of when Drogon snaps at Dany when she tries to calm him. Its just that little reminder of just how dangerous these creatures can be. Also Vermax the little baby dragon looked so good, I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again I love the designs of all the dragons and how unique each one is. Also Jace getting all excited about giving the dracarys command, he is so excited about burning something alive by dragon fire, yup that boy is a targaryen for sure.   

I feel like Aegon could end up being trouble though. There are some little hints that have me worried. Like him ganging up on his brother by encouraging Jace and Lucerys to do the pig prank with him. Him calling his brother a twat, I mean I don’t think Alicent gave great parenting advice in this moment, its one thing at home but don’t do it in public doesn’t send the best message so I suppose it no wonder the way he is. I’m not sure what that whole window thing was about but geez I mean what if he went lightheaded and fell, can you imagine having that one written in the history books. Anyway back on point one of the most worrying things I noticed though was during the training scene a couple of maids pass by him and he grins up them clearly finding them attractive, however the maids reaction to this is worrying. They look away clearly scared and walk faster. What worries me is what has Aegon done to make the maids react this way?

Pentos and A Dragon Rider’s Death 

In the time jump is seems Laena and Daemon got married and have had two daughters with a third child on the way. They currently live in Pentos where they are the guests of a prince. It does seem like they have a pretty good relationship, there seems to be love and tenderness there that are shown in small moments like Daemon kissing her belly, his smile at her when she joins him on the roof, them flying their dragons together and showing off for the crowd, her comforting him. Yet, like Laenor and Rhaenyra, there are some cracks showing. Daemon clearly isn’t himself. He seems somewhat depressed actually. He isn’t sleeping well and he spends all his time pouring over books. It is clear that he got tired of Westerosi politics and just wanted to escape it all, but he isn’t happy being away from home either. Laena is also missing home and makes it clear she wants to have her baby on Driftmark and wants to raise their children with their family. She clearly wants to go home. There is that moment when she brings up how maybe she isn’t the wife he would have chosen which I am assuming is about Rhaenyra. I do think she might be a part of the reason why he doesn’t want to go home, maybe he doesn’t trust himself around her, or doesn't want to see her married to someone else and having heirs with someone else. I mean his comment about her sons bearing a marked resemblance to Harwin was kind of hilarious but I do think there was a bit of jealousy there too. I suspect Laena probably knows that Daemon at one point wanted to marry Rhaenyra, I said in my last review that it looked to me like Laena had clocked Daemon looking at Rhaenyra. I still think Daemon has alot of love and respect for Laena though. 

They had some really wholesome moments as a family too. I love the dinner scene when Laena says that if the prince wants to marry one their daughter and you’ve got one of the sisters laughing their head off and the other looking absolutely disgusted, I just thought their reactions were really funny. I also loved seeing Daemon teaching his daughter High Valyrian that was super cute. The scene between Rhaena and Laena was also great, I think Laena handled it very well by telling her that she can still claim a dragon, that she herself didn’t have one until she was 15 and that now she rides the largest. Unfortunately the wholesomeness comes to an abrupt end when Laena goes into labour. The baby isn’t coming and the maester offers the same deal to Daemon that was offered to Viserys, they can cut the child free but there is no guarantee the child will live. I think it shows how much respect and love Daemon has for his wife that he immediately asks if Laena with survive it and he shakes his head when the Maester says no. So I don’t think he would have done it. Ultimately though it is Laena who decides to take her fate into her own hands. She doesn’t want to die in childbirth she wants to die a dragon rider’s death. So she walks herself out to Vhagar and gives her the command to burn her. This is the saddest scene in the whole episode. You can see that Vhagar doesn’t want to do it but eventually she does because she is connected to her rider and knows what she is feeling. Daemon arrives just in time to see his wife and unborn child get doused in dragon fire. I can see what the writers were trying to do here. Laena is suppose to be a parallel to Aemma, it is the same situation but Aemma had no say over her fate, the men in the room made the decision and she was held down whilst they cut the child from her. Laena decides that she  isn’t going to let her fate be decided by the men, she isn’t going to die in the childbed. It is still a harrowing scene though. It is made only more harrowing by the fact that her body is then left outside charred for her daughters to see. I feel like Daemon and his girls are probably thoroughly traumatised by the whole thing. I do think that Daemon will take the girls back to Westeros though to respect Laena’s wishes that her children be brought up with their family. 

Little Things

Ok so just some little things to add that I couldn’t really fit in anywhere else.

I didn’t notice this on my first watch but Viserys is now missing an arm. He is definitely getting sicker but I did notice that Alicent has been doing something kind of sneaky but clever. She will subtly draw attention to the King’s health. At the small council meeting she is the one that ends the meeting by telling the King he must rest. Also when Lyonel comes to resign Alicent tells him the King is resting which the King over rules her and has Lyonel come in anyway. It does seem like Alicent is slowly drawing power away from the King and onto herself. 

I love the look of Vhagar. I like that she looks old like a granny dragon. You can just look at her and know that she has been around for hundreds of years. 

Helaena is a weird one but I kind of love that about her. Everyone else is causing havoc and she’s just there with her insects minding her own business. 

Anyway that is it for this week. I am going to post a prediction post for episode 7 as usual but I am going to wait until further in the week when the promotional stills for the episode are released. 

[moralesispunk]

Hottest Dad at the School

Marcus Moreno x Female Reader

Summary: a side effect of dating a hot dad is dealing with all the flirty single moms

Warnings: nothing i don’t think, established relationship.

A/n this was just a silly thought I had but it made me laugh! Takes place before the We Can Be Heroes film and Missy is around six years old.

You were standing in the middle of the grocery store aisle, eyes flicking between two different brands of cereal, when a text from Marcus came through on your phone.

That’s Lucy here. Can you grab some butter please? Love you xx

You smiled down at your phone, shooting back a quick reply before doubling back for some butter. 

Today was a big day in the Moreno house because Missy was having a friend over for the first time since starting school just over a year ago. She had been to other children’s birthday parties and they had all came to hers but she didn’t have that one best friend that so many other children seemed to have. You and Marcus began to worry that she was struggling to make friends despite the teacher telling you that she was never alone on the playground. It was a sigh of relief from both of you when she ran up to you in the playground last week asking if she could invite her “best friend, Lucy” over to play.

You had met Marcus on Missy’s first day of school.

He was standing in front of you in the queue for coffee and had been staring into space so much so that he didn’t notice the barista calling him forward to pay. You stepped round him, paying for his and yours, and offered an ear for whatever was distracting him. He told you that it was his daughter’s first day of school and he was finding it harder than he thought without his wife who had passed two years before.

“How can doing a five year olds hair be that difficult?” he sighed.

After twenty minutes of reassurance from you that he seemed to be doing a perfect job he flashed you his beautiful smile for the first time. Your phone interrupted you both and you had to run to an early morning meeting you had been called in for. The rest of the day you couldn’t stop thinking about Marcus and it seemed he couldn’t stop thinking about you either; both of you returning to the same coffee shop and the same time the next day.

That was just over a year ago and now you had become a big part of both his and Missy’s lives and they were your whole world. Marcus was the most amazing boyfriend who woke you each morning with kisses on your forehead, nose and then lips. You loved Missy with your whole heart, both of you spending some one on one time bonding so you ended up as thick as thieves. It was why you and Marcus were taking the next step and you were getting ready to move in with them.

You finished up your shopping quickly after going back for the butter, packing the bags into the car before heading to what would soon be your official home, even though most of your things were already here. When you opened the front door you could already hear two sets of giggles coming from the kitchen, making you smile as you headed towards the noise. Another voice you couldn’t quite place rang through the hall as you walked into the kitchen, turning your attention to a woman, spitting image of the child at the kitchen table, standing next to Marcus.

“Wow, Mr Moreno you sure are strong,” her high pitched voice rang around the kitchen as she gripped at Marcus’s bicep while he cut the sandwiches.

Marcus laughed politely, pulling his arm away as he took a few steps to the side. His head shot up to where you were standing at the door, his eyes pleading a help me look. You feigned shock and he rolled his eyes which made you laugh under your breath, causing the three others in the room to now be aware of your presence. Missy cheered out your name, running over to you and wrapping her arms around your waist before grabbing your free hand to introduce you to Lucy.

“Hello Lucy, wow those are some pretty drawings you have been doing girls! Looks like your Dad is almost finished with lunch, why don’t you go wash your hands.”

When you turned back towards Marcus the woman in the kitchen was now sporting a hard to gauge expression as her eyes narrowed in on you.

“Hey honey,” you walked around the counter to place the bags on table top, “got the butter.”

“Thanks,” Marcus leaned down and gave you a quick kiss before lifting the butter from the bag, “this is Lucy’s mum Megan, you know my girlfriend right.”

Marcus introduced you both and you offered the woman a smile.

“Oh... I thought Missy’s mum was...”

“I’m not Missy’s mum,” you explained, putting the rest of the shopping away, “I’ve seen you around the playground before when I pick up Missy.”

“I just thought you were the babysitter. You look so.. young!” the woman shriek laughed and you and Marcus both winced from the sound, “well, looks like you have enough hands so I’ll come back and get Lucy about 4? Bye Marcus.”

She said goodbye to you as well, although by a different name with the same first initial and you just waved her off as she made a quick exit. Marcus breathed a sigh of relief when the front door slammed.

“I thought I was going to have to fight her off with a spatula!” Marcus turned to you wide eyed and you held yourself up on the counter as you laughed.

“Guess this is what I have to expect when my boyfriend is the hottest dad at the school,” you walked over wrapping your arms around his waist before reaching up to grip his bicep, “Wow, Mr Moreno you sure are strong.”

Marcus rolled his eyes, tilting your head up with two fingers underneath the chin.

“Stop,” he chuckled against your lips before pressing a soft kiss to them.

“Guess I’ll just have to remind you later that while they can look all they want, I’m the only one who gets to touch,” you mumbled against his lips.

“Oh, I look forward to that.”

/////

Permanent tag // @phoenixhalliwell @asta-lily @hb8301 @princess76179 @sarahjkl82-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @blackmarketmummy @bison-writes @dihra-vesa @queridopascal

[ohmygoodnessgraciouss]

Reality Check - Chapter 6

Summary: Y/N and Wanda were very close after returning in 2023.  The two bonded over the loss of their partners.  It wasn’t enough to keep Wanda grounded after she found Vision’s body though, and Wanda wants the best for her friend.  Unfortunately for Y/N, this means she’s going to be thrown into a reality she wasn’t expecting.

Notes: Thank you all for your love and support!!  I love you guys so much and your feedback makes me smile.  It’s hard to reply to everyone but I’m keeping tabs on the taglist as much as possible.  I’ve noticed a few usernames are not being tagged on this post, so I’ll be sure to contact them.  Tumblr decided not to tag them I guess lol!  

Anyway, enjoy this new chapter.  I changed things a little bit.  We’re going a little off course of what I had before, hence the reason why this is late.  The chapter I had written at first is only being stocked away for the next chapter, which means it’ll be out sooner than this one did.  I promise! 

Happy Falcon and the Winter Soldier day, everyone! 

“Well Wanda, I gotta skitty before Loki starts wondering where I’m at,” You chuckled nervously.  Watching her fix the wall was incredible.  It was unlike anything you’ve seen before.  So unusual yet so familiar. 

Wanda smiled lightly at you.  “Alright, I understand.  But please feel free to come by anytime.  Whatever you need,” She said.  You smiled back at the woman. 

“Of course!  Maybe I’ll swing by in a couple of days to see the boys!” You waved goodbye to her and opened the door. 

You took your leave, closing the front door behind you.  Vision turned to see you come outside moments later, a confused look on his face.  “Vision?  What’s wrong, buddy?  You look paler than a ghost.” 

Vision turned to look back at the fence, where Herb and Agnes once stood.  The two had left a while ago, but he seemed frozen in place.  “It’s nothing,” He smiled.  

“Are you sure?” You asked, looking back at the fence that he seemed to stare at before he looked at you.  It was cut nearly in half.  From what, you couldn’t tell. 

“Absolutely.  I suppose I’m just rather nervous about becoming a father.  It feels like it happened so quickly.” 

“Well, I’m sure it did, Vision.  You’ll be fine though.  You’re a good man and remember, Wanda’s going to be there too.  Like I said before, it’s not like you’re doing it alone.  You’ve got this whole town.”  

“That’s true.  This town seems to be quite... Supportive.” 

“Sometimes too supportive.  It feels like everyone’s connected sometimes!” You two shared a nervous laugh. 

“Oh yes, everyone here is quite connected.  Sometimes it is almost concerning.  This town is nothing like I have ever seen before.  I feel as though you can’t keep any secrets around here.” 

“Yeah, I know how you feel.” 

~

“What do you mean?” Loki asked, trying to figure out what’s going on.  The blade was pressing against his skin, close to piercing it.  His eyes scanned the man’s face, unable to determine who he was. 

“I won’t ask again.” 

“I don’t even know who you are,” Loki replied, now glaring at the man.  

Scott revealed himself to Loki, green magic engulfing his form.  He wore the same suit as he did before, but his hair was longer now, reaching down to brush his shoulders slightly.  His green eyes were sharper now, and his face was far more defined.  Loki watched as the man morphed into a mirror image of himself.  “Do I look familiar now?” He spat out, annoyed by the impostor.  

“Quite,” He said stiffly.  Loki pushed him back while “Scott” wasn’t paying that much attention.  He walked to the other side of the room, giving the two of them space between one another.  “I am Loki.  But who are you?” 

“That’s impossible,” Scott said.  “This reality’s version of me was supposed to die in 2018.” 

“2018?” Loki questioned.  “The year 2018?” 

“Yes, the year 2018,” Scott rolled his eyes.  “What other year would I mean?” 

“What year is it now then?” 

“2023.  You’ve been dead for 5 years and yet you’re here.  The T.V.A didn’t tell me about this.  Of course they wouldn’t.”

“The T.V.A?” 

Scott ignored his question.  “Now I’m stuck in the Scarlet Witch’s fake reality with another version of me.  But they told me he died.  Is it possible?” He was thinking aloud, causing Loki to grow even more confused. 

“What are you talking about?” 

Scott shook his head.  “It doesn’t matter.  I have a mission to carry out if I want to get out of there.  Plans have changed.” 

~

Ten minutes later you found yourself walking to Ellis Avenue.  It was close to the edge of town, and very few people lived there anymore.  The sun may have been shining and birds may have been chirping, but you felt like the air was icy as you got closer to the border.  The sign “Leaving Westview: We hope to see you again soon!” looked old and rundown, as if no one had touched it in decades.  An image of a family playing in the park was shown next to the lettering.  Perhaps once upon a time it was a cute sign.  Now it seemed ominous. 

A sense of dread and misery started to seep in as you continued walking closer to the end of the road.  It was like you couldn’t control your own thoughts anymore.  Or perhaps, it was the other way around.  For the first time this week you felt like you were gaining control again.  

Making your way to the border, you noticed that there was not a single person in sight.  The road continued on, making its way through the forest that was only a mile away.  The trees swayed with the wind soundlessly.  A part of you almost seemed to beg to leave the town.  

So you kept on walking. 

It felt like some sort of energy was trying desperately to pull you away from it.  You couldn’t understand what pulled you to this town, what kept trying to pull you back into it.  You hardly remember anything before Westview.  What was on the outside? 

You were abruptly stopped by a barrier.  It was glowing red, much like the other objects you saw a few days ago.  The vibrant color seemed to pulse and move as you walked closer.  It was an electrifying feeling, being this close to the magic that kept everyone trapped inside.  Some part of you begged, screamed for you to stay back.  The other part of you asked for the exact opposite.  

You touched the barrier, a shock running up your arm when you did.  You almost pulled back instantly, but something protected you from it.  You stared in amazement as blue shockwaves seemed to surround your hand.  They disappeared, fading off into the red barrier.  

You turned around, looking to see if anyone was nearby.  No one seemed to be in sight, but you felt like you were being watched.  You turned back to the barrier, pushing your hand further in.  It hurt, but something egged you on, daring you to cross it.  

You took a step in, watching the red engulf your entire body.  You couldn’t think, couldn’t hear, couldn’t even see anything that was going on.  You had two options: Go back into the town that you’re trapped in or see what’s on the outside.  

It seemed to last forever, but it was probably because you could hardly move while you were in it.  It felt as if you were frozen solid.  Whatever it was didn’t want you to get out.  Memories were starting to seep in though.  Memories of the distant past, and memories of what had happened only two weeks ago.  

You gained feeling back in your hand again.  You had to be close to the end if you could feel it.  In just a split second you were thrown out of the barrier.  You collapsed onto the grass, taking a deep breath.  It felt like someone splashed cold water on you.  

Lights began to blind you as you heard voices all around you.  “Put her in custody, and someone get a doctor!” You heard one say.  It was distinct, clear, loud.  Whoever it was sounded like the leader. 

You felt several people pull you up from the ground, placing you on a softer surface.  A gurney, probably.  You blinked several times, squinting to see where you were.  Someone familiar stood next to you.  It was Geraldine.  Was that her name?  

At that point it didn’t matter.  Your head was in too much pain from everything else that was going on to care.  

“You’ll be okay, Y/N.  We’re going to get you checked out,” The woman reassured you.  She smiled slightly and you tried to smile back at her. 

You started to doze off, choosing to sleep and recover from the traumatic experience you just had.  For the first time in a long time you were able to dream.  These dreams weren’t normal though.  

They were memories. 

Memories of everything before Westview. 

Scott watched Loki’s body slowly disappear.  Clearly, he was just an illusion.  Something set up by the Scarlet Witch to keep Y/N in control.  He contacted the TVA on his communicator, sending them a message as he watched the body dissolve.  

He was told that this reality was created by the Scarlet Witch and that he had to get the timeline back on track.  They never told him about Y/N being involved.  They didn’t even tell him that an illusion of himself would be in it too.  

The plan would have to change if he wanted to make sure this worked.  They didn’t even give him an idea of how to set the timeline right.  Now that he knows what’s going on, he has an idea. 

And now, he’ll make sure he gets out of here in time. 

And he’ll be sure to give the Time Variance Authority hell.  

~

Wanda smiled down at Billy, sitting next to Vision who held Tommy.  She felt something turn in her chest.  Something was wrong.  Her eyes widened, and she looked out across the room, zoning out.  

Vision noticed that she seemed distracted, trapped in her thoughts.  He reached over slightly to touch her hand, bringing her back.  She turned to him and smiled.  

“Is something wrong, my love?” He asked. 

“No, nothing at all.  Everything is just fine.” She said, looking down at Billy once more.  

She wasn’t going to concern him with the fact that she knew something was wrong. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

@emberfulclass @momoneymolife @high-priestesss @hailey-the-heathen @mochminnie @dpaccione @intricate-melody @lindseyrae20 @storminateacup15 @ilovemollyweasley @bookgirlunicorn @chims-kookies @austynparksandpizza @yikesdameron @littleladdty @three-eyed-snail @kymera-casterwill @justsomerandompersonintheworld @followthepastelcloud @11mb0 @carolinesbookworld @from-hel-i-with-love @grimalkynslee @boywivlove @prettysbliss @youreobsessedwithmarvel @th3gl1tt3gram3roff1c1al @luthien-t @lokilove3000 @treblebeth @weclassygirl @justfangirlingaround @drpepperobsessed @how-does-this-work @prideofnewberk @matterdontminduntildone

[everlarkficexchange]

Clubbing 101

Written by @alliswell21

Prompt 144: She has a night of fun before the start of the semester. She meets this guy, they hit it off that they sleep together. But when she shows up to her class the next day, she sees the guy again. But he’s her professor and he’s way older than she originally thought. #olderPeeta [submitted by @animekpopxx]

Rating: Explicit. NSFW. 

Tags and Warnings: Canon Divergence; College!AU; Age gap, older man/younger woman; The opposite to slow burn? Smut; Unprotected sex; technically impaired consent since alcohol, but their both into each other while sober too 🤷🏻‍♀️; Ethical dilemmas; Teacher/Student relationship (sort of); One Shot, with an ambiguous open ending? Almost 10K words. Unbetaed. 

Notes: Thank you to the moderators once more for putting up with us, procrastinating writers. You gals are saints! Thank you to @animekpopxx for her amazing prompts that never fail to snag my attention and give me the best ideas ever! You rock! I projected this story to be a smutty short thing, but it sprouted words and a background out of nowhere and I had to forced myself to stop adding to it, to get back to my other submissions waiting in my docs. Hopefully, it’s a good read for the ones who take the chance with it. 

Thank you all! 

KPKPKPKPKP

It starts with a harmless ranting. 

“I’m not outgoing, or fun. I’m not even ‘cool’… hell, I don’t care what my sister says, I’m too old for this place!” I tell the handsome, bearded, guy sitting in the barstool next to me, “She’s a med student, you know, but she insists that partying is part of the college experience, especially when one’s career is so demanding… plus, is the last weekend of summer break, which apparently means you’re contractually obligated to party extra hard,” I roll my eyes, “I never saw the appeal personally, but I let her drag me out here so I can keep an eye on her. Is not like I’m gonna let her piss away her future for a night of clubbing,” I scoff, taking a long pull of my beer.

The guy chuckles, but I’m not done just yet. 

I slam down my bottle and continue listing my grievances, “The thing that grinds my gears, is that she begged for a ‘girls’ night out’, and instead of drinking with me and people watch, she goes off with the first fucker that asks her to dance! I mean… did it ever occur to her, I may want to dance with her on OUR girls’ night out?!” I scowl and gulp another mouthful of beer, “then, to add insult to injury, thirty minutes later I get a text from her, saying to go on home without her ‘cause she found a ride, followed by that cursed eggplant emoji, like I needed an illustration of what kind of ride she’s getting,” I mock gag, rearranging the strap of my tiny purse across my chest. 

 “I guess she’s young, and beautiful, and does work very hard, but if you invite me to go clubbing with you, don’t abandon me within the first 15 minutes of arriving!”

My companion winces before sipping his drink, and smiling ruefully, “That’s harsh… sorry you’re having a shitty night,”

“Meh… little sisters, right?!” I shrug. 

The guy smiles crookedly at me, and I find myself enjoying his smile, “I wouldn’t know about that. I’m the baby of three brothers, and the only thing I got away with was learning how to wrestle and spring awesome comebacks on the fly… the brutes kept me on my toes,” he chuckles. 

“Three boys? Sounds chaotic. Your poor mother!” 

“Yeah… life’s chaotic.” He averts his eyes for a second, his smile goes away. I’m afraid I’ve said something wrong, but he suddenly looks back at me, and confesses, “I’m not into clubbing either.” His eyes sparkle, despite the awful, dim, blue lights bathing the place. 

I smile, “Look at us wallflowers, bonding over drinks and sibling shenanigans,” we clink our drinks together and sip. I’m chatty and relaxed, so unlike myself; I guess the two beers I’ve had are starting to get to me. “I’m Katniss, by the way.”

“That’s pretty,” he says, shyly; makes my chest warm up. “Nice to meet you, Katniss. I’m Peeta.”

I arch my eyebrows, “Peter?” I repeat, because I’m pretty sure I miss-heard him over the obnoxiously loud music. 

The guy shakes his head, “Pee-ta… like the bread?” He chuckles. Then adds, “Family name. Everyone on my dad’s side are bakers.” 

I snort-laugh, “Punny!” I say, taking another sip. Yup, beer’s getting to me, I’m not this cleverly funny. “My dad was into survivalism and botany… I’m named after a plant also known as Duck Potato, so I win the weird name competition!” 

“Hey, it’s something else to bond over,”

“Cheers to that!” We clink our drinks again, and partake in our booze. 

He orders another whiskey neat when he’s out… sounds both snooty and distinguished at the same time. Goes well with his put together image, though: nicely trimmed beard, nicely combed hair, nice polo shirt with what I believe is a tiny loaf of bread embroidered on the chest, and dark-wash jeans… I think. It’s hard to tell under the black lights of the club. 

He offers to get me another drink, and I order an appletini.

“J.D. from Scrubs always drank one,” I explain, swirling the coctel in my hand, “I’ve always been curious to try, but didn’t wanna spend my own money experimenting on a drink I could potentially hate.” 

“Makes sense,” Peeta says, “So… what’s the verdict?” 

“Is pretty good, actually. But I think I’ll stick with my Miller Light,” 

Peeta nods, “I honestly don’t enjoy alcohol that much.”

I giggle. “Then, what brings you to this fine establishment tonight, sir, if you’re not much for clubbing, or drinking?” I watch him out of the corner of my eye. 

I like that when he smiles, his eyes crinkle in the corners.

“I lost a bet against a colleague.”

“Oh,” I’m suddenly self conscious and a little uncomfortable. I give the guy a scrutinizing look, and ask suspiciously, “what was the punishment exactly?” 

The man rolls his eyes. “I have to spend one whole hour in the club, without criticizing anything, like the bitter old man I am,” he grins, “My friend’s words. Not mine!” He raises both hands, claiming innocence. 

I laugh at the face he pulls, “Well, you’ve just defaulted on that punishment,”

“How so?” He beams. 

“With the look in your face! It spoke volumes!” 

“Am I that transparent?” 

“You read like a preschooler’s board book, pal!” 

We both laugh, I drink my beer, and he throws back his whiskey neat. 

“So…” he makes a show of looking at his watch, “I still have 33 minutes to kill before I’m allowed to run out of this place… I know I’m not a Med student, co-Ed, sister of yours, but… would you, um, like to dance with me?” He sounds adorably hopeful. 

I glance at the man sideways, toying with my bottle. 

He smirks, mischievously, “I promise, spirits make me more coordinated on the dance floor. I become this amazing dancer when I have a couple of drinks on… or so my brain believes. I probably look like an idiot, but I’m too goofy to know the difference. You’re welcome to be the judge it for yourself,”

I take my sweet time finishing the last dregs of my beer, and wrinkle my nose, “You sure you wanna dance to this shit, kids call music nowadays?” I smirk, pointing a finger up, motioning wide circles into the ether. 

Peeta gives a full belly laugh.

I really do like his laugh! 

“Isn’t it our only choice?” He ventures. 

Not if you follow me home, my thirsty brain supplies; my lips on the other hand, just let through a hint of a smile, because I’m buzzed, but not drunk enough to proposition a total stranger. I’ve never been one to sleep around anyway.

“Okay,” I say, too enthused. “As long as we both agree that this isn’t music,”

“Oh no, this just barely passes as noise!” Peeta agrees readily. 

He guides me to the packed dance floor, and we start moving to the booming, deafening tunes playing overhead. 

I’m not sure if one could call this dancing. Everywhere I look people are writhing against each other, like a pack of zombies without grace or rhyme. 

I’m not sure Peeta will get an accurate assessment of his dancing skills, compared to what I’m seeing, he’ll probably look like a professional; plus, it’s too dark and busy in here to really appreciate anything, really, but after a few minutes of just shifting in place, robotically, I snatch two bottle beers from a waitress walking by, offering one to my partner, hoping that’s enough to get us loosen up. The waitress stares at me until I rummage on my crossbody mini purse and toss a crumple ten on her tray. 

The liquid boost works. Before I know it, I’m grinding my hips against his. Peeta’s just the right height for his thigh to fit between my legs and brush against my front. I get tired of undulating my arms in the air, so I drop them around his shoulders, and feel just how firm and broad he is under my touch. 

Our chests are tightly pressed together, and I’m at the right angle to just stare at his plush-looking lips. I turn around before I do something brash, like kiss him in the mouth. Peeta doesn’t question it, he just places his hands on my hips, and starts moving to the music’s beat. 

I bring the beer to my lips, but the bottle’s empty… oops! It doesn’t matter, I’m having the time of my life! 

Peeta’s swaying guides me. I basically drape my back over his front, and bump my ass into his groin. I feel the hint of a bulge there, and press my rear into it  again, just to confirm if I felt what I hope I felt. 

Peeta’s fingers tighten on my hip, emboldening me to keep going until I’m practically twerking into him, and his slight bulge morphs into a full blown hard-on. 

I twist in his arms to face him, my lust idled brain barely thinking rationally, “Are your 33 minutes done yet?” I yell into his ear, so he can hear me over the noise. 

He doesn’t even look at his watch, “To hell with time! I‘ll stay here all night, if you want me to,” He answers loudly. 

“Come on, then!” I push off his chest, and snatch up his hand before he can reply. 

Leaving the dance floor is surprisingly easily, considering the crowd bouncing in place together. 

I make no conscious plan on where we’re going; I’m arguably familiar with the layout of this place from my many visits since Prim turned 21; I’m only mildly surprised when we navigate across the club, all the way to the restrooms. It’s like my clit is making all the decisions tonight… good for it! 

There’s a line of disgruntled women waiting to get inside the Ladies Room, but the Men’s Room is available, and Peeta lets me guide him into it, like one of those pull toys children have. 

“It stinks in here,” I comment blandly, but make a beeline for the last stall with a door. 

There’s one guy at the urinal, but he doesn’t even look up from his pants, so I just shrug it off and yank Peeta into the stall with me. 

The space is tight, but once inside the stall, I push Peeta into the door, and attack his mouth. 

He makes a startled noise at the back of his throat, but his hands and arms immediately press me into his body more fully. My own hands trek down to his belt, where I fiddle with the buckle until it’s undone, and I can access his pants’ button and fly. 

He hisses when my fingers graze his warm erection, and bucks into my knuckles. I’m in the process of sticking my hand inside his boxers, when Peeta growls, sucking my lower lip into his mouth, and letting it go with a wet pop.

“Switch places,” he pants against my mouth, and hoists me up, until my back hits the door and his hands grab my hips possessively, jutting my pelvis forward, “I’m hungry, would you mind if I eat you out?” 

“Okay,” I gasp.

Thank you for forcing me to wear your tiny, clubbing dress, Prim! 

“You’ll allow it?” He asks, incredulous, rubbing circles on my hips with his thumbs. 

“Yes… I’ll allow it!”

His smile is sexy, his stare is hypnotic. Damned my drunken ass! I can’t believe I’m willing to do this in a smelly bathroom stall!

Peeta sits on the toilet and licks his lips while staring up at me. His hands disappear under the stretchy material of my skirt, bumping my purse out of his way. He skims his fingers under the elastic of my panties, and I bite my lip, nodding eagerly.

Slowly, Peeta slides my underwear down my legs, the tips of his fingers follow, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever experienced!

Once he brings my panties to my knees, his hands rush back up my thighs, pushing the flimsy skirt around my waist. My underwear drops to my ankles on their own. 

Peeta’s level eye with my crotch, and I squirm restlessly. “Beautiful… absolutely soaked,” he whispers in a daze, he inhales pulling me closer, “You smell divine!” He descends, nose first, into the thatch of dark curls between my thighs, making me moan. He ruts his face against me, and suddenly drops to his knees, grabbing my calf to pull my leg up. 

But the movement gets prevented by my stupid underwear, tangled in my ankles. Without missing a beat, I toe my panties off, so Peeta can maneuver my body however he wants. 

He drapes my leg over his shoulder, opening me up to his ravenous mouth. He grunts, burying his face into my core, and finally, FINALLY, his tongue swipes between my folds.

“Fuck!” I squeak. 

My hands fly to tangle into his soft, perfectly coiffed hair. I nearly smother him, holding his face to my pussy, but he’s doing wicked things to me with his tongue: lapping, sucking, and nipping at my labia; drawing number eight figures around my clit with the tip of his tongue, to then sinking it deep inside my core. I can’t stop bucking into his mouth over and over.

When was the last time I was given head? Fuck if I know! Darius probably, he was decent, but didn’t do it often. And Thom was so boring at it, I actually preferred he didn’t do it. But this guy is amazing! A real expert in the matter! 

“I’m so close! Please… I’m so close,” I wail like a cat in heat, writhing against the door. 

Peeta looks up, and despite the horrendous lighting in the room, I realize he’s got the deepest blue eyes I’ve ever seen… too bad I can’t hold his gaze too long, because he starts rubbing my clit with his thumb, while fucking my hole with his tongue, and is all I can do not shout and scalp him in my delirium.

He doesn’t stop drinking my juices while I convulse above him. On the contrary, he retrieves his thumb, but keeps his mouth busy, lapping away all the slick I give him.

It’s too much.

I tug on his hair to pull him off of my sensitive privates. 

Peeta takes one last lick with the flat of his tongue and looks up at me, smiling wolfishly, “Was that good?” His beard’s dripping with me, he wipes some of it off on his sleeve. 

I snort, unsexy and definitely rude. “You made me cum so hard I saw stars… yeah, it was good. Better than good, really!” I smile down at him, and try to pull him off from the floor. 

All the gel holding his curls in place is gone now, rubbed off on my palms. His hair is sticking up on the top and towards the back of his head. I reach up to try and smooth it back, “I’m sorry, I seem to have made a mess of your hair,” I giggle. It’s adorable, but I feel bad that I ruined it. 

“You can mess my hair any time you want, Katniss.” He says, almost shyly, he places his hands on my waist, over the bunched up dress. 

It’s a big turn on to me, how his words are so flirty, but he delivers them so sweetly and awed. Is unexpected and endearing… which is odd, because I don’t usually find people endearing at all!

We both chuckle. 

He licks his lips, and I feel heat pool in my lower belly again. 

“Come’ere!” I wrap my hand around his nape, and pull his lips to mine. 

He responds immediately, licking the seam of my mouth. I suck on his tongue when he slides it against mine. 

He moans. 

“Fuck me, Peeta,” I rasp into the kiss, palming his dick through his jeans. 

He groans, “Are you sure?” He barely holds back another groan when I squeeze his clothed erection.

“Cock. In me. Now!” I command through gritted teeth, trying to pull his cock out of his pants with one hand, while taking his hand, and splaying it on my boob. 

“Okay… shit… this is… surreal! This has never happened to me before!” He kneads my tit, gently.

I’m not sure I was supposed to hear that, so I pretend I didn’t and turn, facing the door to wiggle my ass, in an attempt to convince him. 

Peeta makes a noise in his throat, quickly followed by the sound of shifting clothes, and a metallic thump from his belt buckle hitting the toilet. 

I whine when Peeta’s warm, heavy cock caressed my bare ass cheek. “Please don’t tease me,” I beg.

“Fuck, Katniss… do you really want this?”

“Yes, Peeta… put your cock inside my cunt, and fuck me all the way to next week! Now!” 

His warm body cocoons mine, “Anything you want, sweetheart,” he whispers into my ear, and I feel the blunt head of his cock parting my folds, coating himself with my natural lubricants.

He finds my entrance, pushing inside just the tip. He gasps, “Fuck!” One big hand wraps around my hip to keep me steady, bracing his other arm on the door, above my head. 

“Peeta… Please!” I wiggle my ass, making him sink another inch deep. 

“Hold still,” He hisses, “I’m trying to hold back… not ramming in too roughly… embarrassing myself, cumming too fast,” His hot breath warms my nape. “You feel like heaven!” He growls, tightening his hold on me. 

I’m torn, wishing he’d drill into me without mercy already, while another part of me is grateful he’s trying to stay under control… I don’t know which I want more… 

When was the last time I had sex? 

As if reading my thoughts, Peeta shares haltingly, “It’s been such a long time for me. I want it to last, but I’m

Not sure if I can,” 

I don’t have time to second guess myself, because Peeta’s moving, and he’s massive! 

“Don’t hold back!” I bleat, “I want it rough… I want it fast!” I gasp, clenching down on him. I paw at the door for purchase, trying not to face-plant on the cold, hard surface, while Peeta’s fat prick stretches me to the brink of pain! I can’t stay put for him any longer; I buck into him.

“I said to hold still!” He slaps my ass, hard. It stings, but it’s a welcomed feeling. 

I moan and melt, finally relaxing enough for him to penetrate me all the way to the hilt. He stays there a moment, breathing harshly into my neck, squeezing my hip on and off. 

“You’re so tight. So warm. So wet, Katniss.” He nuzzles my ear, “I’m gonna move now, I apologize beforehand in case this ends too soon for you…” He drags himself slowly out of me, just to plunge right back in with a swift, hard thrust. 

I squeak; he grunts.. 

Peeta holds me by the waist,  “You’re so pretty and sexy, Katniss. I can’t decide if you’re real, or the most vivid wet dream I’ve ever had…” he’s fucking me like a jackrabbit in rut.

I’m speechless, vaguely wondering if I didn’t dream him instead?

His cock head hits a spot deep inside me I’ve never reached before. I start babbling nonsense— mostly praising his cock and his strength— I don’t really know what I’m saying, but he seems to be enjoying it thoroughly by the increase in his speed and the volume of his grunts. 

I’m joisted up and down his shaft like a rag doll; I wish I’d thought of hanging my stupid little purse somewhere before we started, because now it’s bumping on my thighs, distracting me from the great ducking I’m getting; it’s no matter… I can feel my orgasm building in my belly.

“I’m gonna cum, sweetheart… I want you to cum too,” He nibbles on my earlobe. 

“Yes, Peeta! Please make me cum, I’m so close!”

One of his hands slides around my waist to play with my clit, while his other tweaks my nipples over my dress and bra. That, added to the sensation of my g-spot being prodded repeatedly, sends me spinning over the edge.

I must’ve screamed or something, because he clamps his hand over my mouth, and then he’s grunting, digging his forehead between my shoulder blades, and pulling me back against his unyielding body. 

“Fuck…” he gasps and shivers behind me. I feel his dick pulsing, his rhythm faltering, and then he goes still. 

Peeta sags a little, wedging his shoulder into the door to keep from falling. I’m surprised he still has the strength to hold me up too; I have to be dead weight at this point, since my legs feel like overcooked noodles and my arms gave out a minute ago.

We both try to catch our breaths, too spent and weak for much more, at least for a few minutes.

Peeta stirs. “Are you okay?” He breathes out, ruffling the loose wisps of my hair with his breath. 

I chuckle, leaning my sweaty temple on the cool door. “I can’t feel my toes… which is excellent!”

“Good,” he sighs. 

Three heart beats later, he straightens up and pulls out of me. An indecent amount of spend flows down my legs as soon as his cock dislodges from my pussy, but Peeta shoves something soft between my thighs quickly, before I have time to freak out about the mess.

I look down mildly curious, staring at an embroidery of a tiny loaf of bread. Vaguely, I wonder if that’s his uniform? He said he was a baker, right? At least he’s named after bread or something. I giggle. “Is this your shirt?” I ask, widening my stance to gracelessly wipe myself clean. 

“Yeah,” 

“Thank you,” I say, dazedly, turning sideways to smile at him gratefully. 

He’s wearing a simple, white, cotton t-shirt when I return the polo to him, now spoiled with cum and slick. I’m caught off guard by how broad shoulder he is, and by how nice he smells… cinnamon and sweat. Weird combination, but pleasant. I wonder if he baked any bread today? 

“Um… would you… would you like to put these back on?” He asks awkwardly, leaning down to pick up my discarded panties from besides the foot of the toilet bowl.

I wrinkle my nose, “Not really,” I mumble. “Who knows when was the last time that floor got cleaned. Gross.” 

Peeta smiles and shakes his head, “Here,” he grabs his polo, covered in our juices, and wraps my underwear in it. “Now it’s hidden.”

My body is finally catching up with the advanced hour, the beers and the two amazing orgasms. I’m starting to feel sore everywhere, and my eyelids are getting heavy. “Wow… think I’m officially all partied out,” I chuckle weakly.

“Ditto,” Peeta agrees, his smile is shy. “So… there’s this little dinner about two blocks from here,” he starts, eyes downcast; the space seems to shrink around us, now that the frenzy of our physical activities is done with. “Would you like to grab a pancake or som—“

My phone rings, startling us both into silence. I frown, but scramble to find it in my purse, to check who could be calling me… apparently at 2 a.m.!

My frown deepens. Prim’s smiling face flashes on the screen. She was supposed to be getting some herself! “It’s my sister,” I whisper, tamping down my rising panic. I don’t ask if it’s okay to answer, I just do it. “Prim?” 

“Where the hell are you?!” I have to pull the phone off, or risk eardrum rupture by my sister’s screeching. “I’ve been texting and calling you! I’ve been worried sick!”

I scowl at the wall, confused and little annoyed, “Prim… Prim, are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you need me to come get you somewhere?” I try to ask.

“What?! No. I’m home! But you aren’t, and I’ve been scared shitless trying to find you!”

I give Peeta an apologetic grimace, and blindly feel around for the lock to get out of the stall. “Um… why are you home so early? Last time I heard from you, you were getting a ride,” I’m trying to sound unaffected; It’s all I can think to say in my mortification.

“Never mind that! Why aren’t you home already? I thought you had to work in the morning and then go to sch—” 

While Prim rages at me, I place a hand on the phone and turn to Peeta, still in the stall, awkwardly facing the wall, I assume to grant me some privacy. I’m sure he can hear my sister’s frantic chastisement from where he’s standing. “I’m sorry… you’d think I was a teenager instead of a grown ass adult,” I roll my eyes.

Peeta waves me off good naturedly. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for keeping you so late,”

I’m about to say something else, but Prim yells loudly, something about calling the police and checking the hospitals for me, which truly prompts a reaction from me, “Calm down! I’m still at the club, exactly where you left me!” I cover the phone with my palm again, and turn to him. “I’m… I’m gonna go? Before she threatens to send the marines in,” I try to joke, but our situation takes all the levity out of it, and my attempt dies off, lamely. 

Peeta nods, smiling softly; somehow I can tell it’s not genuine. 

“Little sisters, right?” I offer halfheartedly, twisting my lips. 

“Can I… walk you out at least?” He asks quietly; Prim hasn’t stopped nagging this whole time. 

“I… it’s not necessary, but thank you…” 

Peeta nods again, looking disappointed. 

I don’t get to tell him a proper goodbye, because two dude-bros come in the bathroom, letting the noise from the club filter in; one of the idiots elbows the other, and both start making some lewd comments about me, but Peeta steps in, eyes wild with anger, and tells the guys to knock it off. Prim hears the whole thing of course, and goes nuts herself asking what’s going on?

Peeta looks at me, and motions his head towards the door. 

Message received, I step outside the bathroom and book it out of the club, “I’ll be home in a bit. I’m gonna call and Uber,”

“Call me as soon as you’re in it!” Prim demands.

“Fine! Now stop nagging me, will you?!”

I don’t realize I never looked back at Peeta to wave my goodbyes until I’m in the car, heading home. Regret truly is a bitch. I can’t help feeling like I just lost something important, but I have no idea what it is. 

>>—————> * <————<<

It’s been a very long Monday. I’m mainly running on caffeine at the moment, and can’t wait to get home and pass out in my fluffy bed, to see if I can catch up on last nights lost hours of sleep. 

I enter my last class of the day and find a seat in the middle of the third row. I pull my laptop, a writing pad and my mechanical pencil out of my bag, and watch as my classmates start filtering in one by one, greeting each other and finding their places, lazily. 

I’m the oldest student in this class, which is not surprising. I’ve only just come back from my extended— 5 year— sabbatical; and did it only after I was completely sure I could handle my workload and the financial strain of both me and Prim going to college at the same time, without giving myself an early grave. 

It’s been hard, but I’m glad I came back to finish my schooling, I only need a handful of credits to graduate, which is great!

I check my watch. We still have a few minutes to kill before class starts. The professor— Dr. Mellark, according to the copy of my schedule— is not here yet, so I pull up the banking app on my phone to give it another glance. The balance is still the same as the last two times I’ve seen it, but it doesn’t hurt to be extra careful when one is on a tight budget. I scheduled payments for the power, gas and rent to go out in the next few days, and I want to make sure there’s enough money in the bank to cover them. We’re looking fine for the month, financially speaking. 

The door to the classroom swishes open, and I start signing off my app.

“Good afternoon ladies and germs; I’m doctor Mellark, and provided you’re in this room for an English class, I’ll like to welcome you to the amazing world of Classic Literature!” Says a deep, male voice I find oddly familiar. “By the way, don’t any of you dare to disagree with me on the awesomeness of classic lit… I’m a doctor, I know what I’m talking about… unless you ask me about medicine, then please be free to disregard everything I say, because I’m not ‘that’ kind of doctor!” 

A murmure of little chuckles fills the room; even I smile, silencing my phone and putting it away, before looking up at the professor.

I choke on a strangled gasp when I finally set eyes on the man I assume is the teacher, dumping a worn, leather, messenger bag on the desk near the podium. He’s the last person I would’ve expected to have as a professor.  

Oblivious to my predicament, Doctor Mellark— or as I know him: Peeta!— keeps introducing himself. 

“I’ve been teaching this course for 14th years, but I’m always pleasantly surprised to hear the different points of views my students bring to our discussions on the classics we study, which in a nutshell, is the beauty of this class.” He pulls a ream of paper out of his bag, and gives it to a student in the front, “Please take a syllabus, and pass the rest to the next person, and so on… thank you!” 

My face is burning. I think I’m gonna faint. 

“But enough about me,” his voice booms, making my whole body shiver. “I don’t normally do roll calls or care about attendance, as long as you’re not missing assignments, and are here during discussions, so this is the first and last time I’ll be reading this list,” he rises a piece of paper above his head, I surmise has the students names on it, and he instructs, before reading, “I’ll call your names, and you’ll introduce yourself, briefly, that way we can all get acquainted with each other, yes?” 

Ugh! 

He can scratch my name off that list right now! We’re more than acquainted with each other.

Bile rises to my throat. An intrusive, bitter thought pesters me: how many of his students has he gotten ‘that’ familiar with? 

But the thought dies off quickly. An even worse, more worrisome thought springs front and center in my mind: Did we use protection?!

Panic rises in my chest, a nervous queasiness settles in my belly; a distant memory of warm goo sliding down my legs comes to mind… Oh shit! 

Oh shit, oh shit! We didn’t use a freaking condom? Who does that?! 

Oh shit! 

Would a Plan B still be effective right now? It’s been less than 24 hours… 

Peeta’s reading names. People stand from their seats and talk about themselves. I haven’t heard one word they’ve said, but I’ve been watching how some of the female students bat their eyelashes and speak all breathily, smiling coyly at him… Peeta seems oblivious to the flirting, but I still feel a cocktail of unpleasant feelings in the pit of my stomach. 

I realize, I’m jealous!

My ass is frozen in my sit, I’m not even breathing. I don’t think Peeta’s seen me yet, but… what will he do or say once my name comes up? I send a quick prayer to heaven, he won’t recognize me since I look nothing like I did last night at the club, with my hair down and my face all made-up. Right now and plain ol’ me… the rub is gonna be my name. Darn my dad and his awful naming whims! 

Soon enough, he reads a name that makes him stutter, “Kat…Katniss? Everdeen?” He does a double take, “Katniss Everdeen…” his eyes are the size of saucers when he scans the lecture hall, swiftly. When he finds me, he looks back down at his paper, and says the name out loud again, unsure, “Katniss Everdeen?” Like he doesn’t believe what he’s reading. 

I stand up woodenly, my voice cracks a little, “I’m—I’m Katniss Everdeen… hi!” 

I’m about to drop back into my chair, but Peeta kinda mumbles, “You know, Arrowhead, or Katniss is a water plant? The root is edible… like a swamp potato?”

There are quiet little giggles all over the place. 

Peeta clears his throat, his eyes flit away; his face’s blank of emotion, but his cheeks seem pinker than a second earlier, “I just read that online, believe it or not. Interesting facts about local flora, people. Reading is knowledge, but so is learning from one another… what can you tell us about yourself, Miss Everdeen, besides that you have a very unique first name?”

“I…” I harrumph, avoiding eye contact with Peeta at all costs, “I’m a part time student. Majoring in Botany. I took this class to fulfill my last English credits requirement for graduation. I do love books and classic literature, in particular.” 

“Thank you… Miss Everdeen,” he rasps. 

I sit down, clumsily, hoping this horrible, horrible moment is just a nightmare and that I’ll wake up any second now, drooling on my desk, with indentations of my notepad on my cheek, because anything would be less embarrassing than what I’m going through at this point.

Mercifully, Peeta calls a different name, and then another, and then another. I don’t look up from my notepad once.

Peeta for his part, sounds stiff and monotonous— or so I’d like to think— no more jokes or clever sayings. Maybe he’s not as affected as I am about this ordeal, and I’m just making it a bigger deal than it really is? Maybe he does have experience sleeping with students— I mean, it’s not unheard off, right?— Not that either of us had any idea we were engaging in a teacher-student affair last night… 

Although, calling it an affair is generous; it was a measly one night stand. A chance encounter. Two people letting off steam before a busy week ahead. 

I’m getting increasingly angry with all this thinking… and the class seems to drag on. It feels like an eternity, and my mind keeps churning up all kinds of questions: Why would he not say he was a teacher at this particular college? Did he lie about being a baker? Is his name even Peeta? 

I scoffed at the thought.

To my horror, I hear him ask, “Anything to say, Miss Everdeen?” 

Looking up at him requires a great deal of bravery and self admonishment, but I do my best and face him— he’s wearing glasses now, which makes my belly tightened for inexplicable reasons— “No, Doctor Mellark, nothing of consequence anyway,” I retort as venemosly as possible, without alerting anyone else there’s something weird going on between me and the professor. 

Peeta grimaces slightly. Then looks away, “Very well, as I was saying, we will start with the basics: The Iliad and Moby Dick, since those are High school level works, I expect your reports to be sufficiently well researched, and your personal ideas on the text somewhat fleshed out. It doesn’t have to be in-depth. I’m just looking to determine everyone’s style and needs for the semester ahead…” he continues his spiel, and I feel free to go back to my stewing and my musings. 

Before I know it, Peeta’s dismissing the class, wishing everyone a good rest of their evening. 

I jump into action, packing my stuff with my head bowed, but then I hear him again.

“Miss Everdeen, a private word, please?” It’s much too quiet to have been said from his podium. I still startled when I look up and find him standing right against the first row of desks, directly in front of me. 

His face is not quite stern, but he’s definitely less smiley than when we met. 

I force down a gasp, because under the better lighting of the lecture hall, and close up, I can see a plethora of details I missed at the club; like the arresting blue of his eyes, the slight reddish of his neatly trimmed beard, peppered with silver whiskers all over, while his perfectly combed hair is almost all silver on the temples, and ashy blonde on the top. His shoulders are even broader than I remember. 

He’s overall stockier than I originally thought, and just a smidge shorter, which is fine, he’s still the most handsome man I’ve ever met, and I wouldn’t mind climbing him like a tree—

I shake my head off the intrusive, lecheros thoughts. I’m literally lusting after my teacher, for goodness sakes! This is beyond a silly schoolgirl crush!

Peeta arches one dark blonde eyebrow at me, expectantly. 

I nod curtly, because my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth, and gesture for him to lead the way.

I shove my laptop into my bag, and hastily shoulder the straps, hugging my writing pad to my chest, following my professor like a chastened little girl. 

My stupid eyes find his ass, and I blink twice, at the exquisite sight in front of me. I groan internally. 

He grabs his own bag, takes off his spectacles and slides them into his shirt pocket. 

How old is this man?! He said he’s been teaching this class for 14 years, when do professors start their teaching careers? How did I never see him before now roaming campus? Is his age the reason he ate pussy like a master? 

I shake my head, cursing my horny brain. 

Peeta opens a door I have no idea how we came across, and then stands aside, gesturing for me to go in first. 

I duck my head and step into a warmly decorated office, with a small desk and two chairs in the middle of the room. Bookshelves full of tomes line the office. A handful of pictures and framed diplomas hang from the only available wall space in the room, but I don’t get to study them before he catches my undivided attention. 

“Let me start by apologizing,” Peeta stars, closing the door behind himself, “I assure you, it wasn’t my intention to cause you any stress, or embarrassment out there.” He pauses, “Would you like to sit?” He offers, wincing. He doesn’t wait and steps around me, to pace on the other side of his desk, “I… um, never been in this position before,” he scowls, “I’m not sure what assurances I can offer at the moment, except, that I will start the process to recuse myself from this class immediately, to not interfere with your academic—“

“Recuse yourself?” I cut him off, “what do you mean?” 

Peeta squirms a little, and sits down heavily on his chair. My bag slides off my shoulder, and I just dump it in the empty chair I was offered a moment ago. 

“Well, Miss Everdeen, it’s the right thing to do, given our circumstances. We’ve breached the appropriate boundaries of our pupil and teacher positions, and staying in the same class together will put you at a disadvantage… is a power imbalance situation, that calls for action.”

“Can you stop calling me ‘Miss Everdeen’? It’s weird…”

“I’m just trying to maintain an acceptable level of decorum between us,” he says sheepishly. 

“That ship has already sailed,” I say tiredly.

“Perhaps, but it’s my responsibility to still try,” he rubs his forehead. “Anyway, I’ll call my department and see what is next. Stepping down myself is the only fair solution I see so far… it would be terribly unfair to ask you to switch classes. Simply disrespectful, but we both can agree this uncomfortable situation needs to be nipped in the bud, for both our sakes, Miss Everdeen.”

“This is bullshit!” I snap, “What happened in that club, isn’t that terrible of a problem! What we really need to do is stop acting so stiffly and guilty. By the way, you sound like a walking thesaurus!” I accuse, looking him in the eyes for the first time since he called my name at the lecture hall. “Stop it!” 

Peeta inhales deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Miss Everdeen, our actions last night may have been honest, and even innocent in nature, but they still carry consequences… unexpected ones, especially in light of the facts. And the facts are, that it would be unethical for me to remain in a position of authority over you. In any case… if you feel the need to report me to the school administration, for… harassment or inappropriate behavior or anything else, I won’t dispute any claims. I promise to distance myself from you and give you space so you can continue with your education without interference, in a safe environment.”

I grunt, “I’m not going to report you, because you didn’t do anything wrong. Sure, I thought you were a baker… I mean your story about your name, and that little loaf of bread embroidered into your shirt, I thought it was your uniform,” I shrug one shoulder. 

“Sorry about that… I never meant to mislead you,” he says bashful. 

I ignore him, “Either way, I was the one pulling you into that bathroom. I threw myself at you. I begged you to do things to me, and you just granted me my wishes…” like a sexy gentleman, “The sex is on me. I’m 26 years old, I’m not some bumbling teenager who hasn’t learned to take responsibility for her actions, so, please… stop trying to shield me, or protect me, or whatever it is you’re doing,” my arms flap around in frustration. I finally push my bag off the chair, and sink into it. “Look, Peeta—“

“Professor…” he corrects, frowning a little.

I roll my eyes, if he knew he’s just making it sound kinkier than it already is, he wouldn’t be so adamant about the freaking titles. 

“Fine… Doctor Mellark,” I enunciate, pettily. “I specifically chose your class as my last English elective for two reasons. One: it’s exactly the amount of credits I need to graduate at the end of the semester. And two: it fits my schedule to a T, which is important, since I do have a full time job when I’m not a college student. So, I’m sure we can both be adults about this unfortunate situation, and simply forge on. There’s no need for you to recuse from teaching this class, and I have absolutely no intention of switching. We both can wear our big people britches, and pretend last night was a… what did you call it?” I wave my hands, as if the answer will materialize from thin air, “A vivid wet dream? And leave it at that!”

Peeta glares at me, looking aggravated for the first time since I met him. “It’ll be unethical to continue like everything is normal, Miss Everdeen.” Peeta argues, stubbornly. 

“Nobody has to know about last night,” I say, exasperated, then a horrifying thought flashes in my mind, “Unless you bragged about it already!”

“No!” He straightens in his chair, looking offended, “I would never do something so vile,” He looks indignant, “plus, the fact still remains that something did happen last night, and I know about it! I can’t, in good faith, be your teacher.”

“Are you planning on showing me favoritism because you know what my pussy tastes like, Peeta?” I deadpan, “Or are you gonna blackmail me into doing it again?” 

“Stop calling me Peeta!” He growls through his teeth, his very thick fingers clenching into fists on his armrests. 

I blink at his reaction owlishly, realizing I’m truly pushing it this time. 

“I’ve always prided myself on keeping my nose clean. Being a decent man and tutor. Never in 17 years of teaching have I slept with a co-ed, let alone a student in my own class.” He breathes deeply, then pins me to my chair, with those arresting blue eyes of his, burning with controlled anger, “I would never extort you or anyone for sexual favors, Katniss. While I don’t really want to lose my tenure or face other disciplinary actions from the school authorities, the one thing I truly don’t want to damage are my personal standards, and my self image.

“Katniss, I’m already biased when it comes to you. Being your professor won’t be exactly fair to anyone. I’m not saying I would give you A’s willy-nilly, nor that I would grade your papers any differently than I’d do your peers or that I’d be less critical of your work,” 

“That’s reassuring,” I roll my eyes. “You’re telling me that if I bring you a shit essay, you might not be persuaded to let me redo it?” 

He sighs, “I don’t know…” he scratches the back of his neck, “I’ll most likely hover over your desk a disproportionate amount of time compared to your classmates. There’s also a chance I’ll call on your name more often than the rest of them?”

“I still don’t hear one unscrupulous, wrong reason, why you can’t do your job, and teach this class.”

We sit there, staring at each other, at an impasse. 

“Why are you so set on keeping me in that room, Miss Everdeen?” He asks, softly. 

Finally, I relent, relaxing my tense shoulders, and exhaling tiredly. I raise my hands in defeat. “I don’t know, Peeta. Because I want to protect you, the same way you’re trying to protect me. But… recuse yourself if you have to. I still believe you’re a better man than your urges.” 

Peeta relaxes in his chair too, “Thank you, Katniss.You didn’t have to say that, specially because you don’t know me. It still means a lot.”

I chew the inside of my lip, calculating stuff in my head. “You’re right, I don’t know you, but I consider myself an okay judge of character.” He opened this door, it’s time for me to walk through it, “Can I ask you some stuff?” I ask innocently.

Peeta arches his eyebrows. “Shoot,” he says. 

“How old are you?” 

“45. I’m sorry. I knew you were young last night… I just didn’t quite grasp just how young,” his eyes shift downwards, sheepish and uncomfortable. 

“I’m an adult. I’ve been the head of my family for years. At this point, age is irrelevant for me.” I state, dismissively.

“What about your family?” He asks, tilting his head sideways.

It takes me a minute to answer. I cross my arms over my stomach, and exhale, “It’s been only Primrose and I for five years now. My mother had cancer. My father passed when I was eleven.” I rock in my chair, slightly, “That’s why my sister was being such a clingy bitch last night. She can’t bear to lose anyone else. Neither can I for that matter.”

Peeta leans forward on his desk. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Katniss.”

I sit back, feeling like a huge weight just got lifted off my shoulders. “It’s okay, really. I’m back in school, about to finish my last semester, Prim is doing great in university, the only debt we have right now is Prim’s car and my Target card… we are actually okay,” I smile, meekly at him. 

“That’s… that’s good, Katniss. Admirable, really.”

“Peeta?” I start cautiously, “Would you really remove yourself from the class because of me?” 

He looks me right in the eye, sincerity emanating fro his eyes. “Absolutely. Without hesitation. As soon as you leave, I’ll email my Head of Department, explaining my situation. Don’t worry, I won’t mention any names or details—“

I shake my head, vehemently. 

Peeta squints, studying me cautiously, measuring me. 

“Please… stay with me…” 

Something in my tone catches his attention, and he eyes me curiously. “I’ve already told you why I can’t,” he says, almost soothingly. 

I stand up. Go around my chair, and drop back down into it. I start shaking my leg nervously. “I had this feeling in my gut since last night. Like I lost something precious, I just couldn’t put a finger on it… I still can’t, to be honest. All I know, in my loins, is that I can’t let you step down from your position, and I sure as hell won’t walk away on you without figuring out what this…” I wiggle my fingers, pointing to the mouth of my stomach, “feeling is about.”

He stares at me. 

I stand up again, and this time I just pace, to the wall with the pictures, and stare at a bunch of faces, too similar to Peeta’s not to be related to him somehow. 

“I know I’m not making sense, but I just needed to say that.”

He watches me for a long beat, weighing his options no doubt, before answering, “I can’t be your teacher, Katniss…” he sighs, and rubs his forehead, “because I’m afraid seeing you every week, without being able to touch you will be absolute torture.”

“Really?” I bite my lip, giving him an open once over, not feeling one iota self conscious about. “How come?” 

Peeta huffs, avoiding my eyes. “I’d be wondering what your breasts look like the whole time.” He confesses, flatly. “I didn’t get a chance to see them last night, and it kept me awake an indecent amount of time.” He twists his lips, “I’m gonna be pinning the whole semester, whether you’re in the classroom or not, craving the taste of your juices in my tongue, and worse of all, I’ll probably embarrass myself, giving me involuntary hard on’s just fantasizing about you.”

I practically prowl towards him. “You poor thing,” I coo, pouting. “Would you go home to masturbate on the soiled pair of panties I left behind on that dirty, bathroom floor?” I ask… more like, purr, really. 

Peeta chuffs out an incredulous laugh, covering his face with both hands. He grunts, “Aw, fuck! That sounds so… it’s probably exactly what could happen. I’d try to stay professional in the classroom, but in the privacy of my home…” he chuckles weakly, shaking his head.

“What kind of fantasies are we entertaining here?” I ask, invested, and sit on the corner of his desk. 

Peeta thins out his mouth, “Katniss… that’s a slippery slope you’re trying to climb,” he warns.

“Humor me?” I cajole. 

He takes a stuttering breath. “I’ll bring you into this office, same way I did today, except I’ll rip your clothes off, throw you on the desk and take you hard and fast. From behind.” 

I can’t stop a small sound at the back of my throat, nor the need to rub my thighs together. 

I clear my throat, “I expect you’d want to fuck me on every surface in this office?”

Peeta pulls on the collar of his shirt, his face turning crimson, “And probably the lecture hall as well,” he adds conversationally. 

I nod, scooting closer to where he sits. “I’m curious too you know. I didn’t get to see ‘any’ part of you naked. But my muscles still are deliciously sore from last night. A girl has to wonder… just how big a dick has to be to cause so much wreckage?” 

It doesn’t take much effort at all to work him up. Peeta’s pants are tented in what looks like the most uncomfortable erection ever; he shifts in his chair to try and hide the effect my words have on him, yet, his hands remain folded on his lap, white knuckled with the effort of keeping himself in check. He’s really committed not to touch me while I’m still his student, but he rasps a question, full of concern. 

“Did I hurt you?” His eyes search me, earnestly. “I’m sorry I was too rough, really,”

My heart gives a little somersault. “No, Peeta. You were pure perfection. I loved how you handled me.”

His lips twitch, and I’m amazed at how expressive his face is, even partially hidden under his near facial hair. “You said you were hungry last night before you got on your knees…” I murmur, “I think, next time I’ll return the favor,”

“Next time?”

I slide closer to him, but we both keep our hands to ourselves.

I lick my lips, resisting the urge to drop on my knees between his legs and gobble up his cock. I didn’t lie about wanting to see him in all his naked glory, but I can show the same level of restraint he does; I respect him for trying to keep a moral and ethical compass.

I smirk at him, slyly. “Are you sure you wanna abandon your post as my professor, now that my education is on the balance? We can wait a handful of months, Doctor Mellark… I promise not to tease you,” With that, I mean, I promise not to aggravate what could potentially be the worst case of blue balls in the history of slow burns.

Peeta hisses a mirthless chuckle, “You’re too much of a temptation, even if you don’t actively try teasing me, Katniss,”

I start playing with the end of my braided, dark hair. “You know what I’m most really looking forward to, from when I’m no longer your student?” I pose, shyly, “Going to that dinner you mentioned last night.” I shrug one shoulder. “I’ll let you buy me a stack of pancakes to celebrate my graduation. I’ll probably introduce you to my sister, Primrose… and we’d go from there… if you wanted to…”

Peeta smiles, disarmingly. “I’d love that too, Miss Everdeen.” He says quietly.

I let go of my braid, and hug myself, “Stay in the class?” I practically beg one last time. “We can do it, I know we can. We can have a platonic, completely innocent teacher-student relationship until I’m done with college,”

Peeta shakes his head. “We’ll see after I talk to my head of department. Who knows, maybe all the schedules are already locked in place, and I have no other choice but to stay put. There’s no guarantee a replacement is available for me.”

“We’ll make it work!” I say enthusiastically. 

“Maybe…” he sighs, not entirely convinced. 

I pull my phone out of my pocket to check the time. Time is running out, I gotta get to the pharmacy before my window of opportunity closes. 

“Hey, Peeta… um, invasive, weird question?” 

I wait for him to nod.

“Have you by any chance, have gotten a vasectomy at any point?” 

“Mmm no, never had. Why?”

Aw shit! 

I bite the inside of my cheek. “Hopefully no reason.” I say quickly, too nonchalant for my own good, and he catches on it, I can see the gears turning in his brain, “Okay,” I make a big show of yawning and stretching my arms, “I have to run some errands before going home and crashing for the night.”

Peeta cringes, “Are you… okay? Really, okay? You said you were sore?” His eyes rove over my face full of concern. 

“I’m fine,” I smile, “nothing a long soaking in Epsom salts can’t cure.”

“Okay,” he says, unsure. “I don’t want to overstep any worse than I already have, but… I’ve been anxious, wondering if you were alright, if you got home fine to your sister since you left the club. Which, obviously you did… but, I wanted to kick myself for not asking your number, just to be able to check on you… and this is frown upon, a d completely unethical, but—“

“I’ll email you,” I say quickly. “Nothing explicit. But I’ll let you know I’m home and okay.” I’ve spoken to people in code before, this shouldn’t be a problem, and really, sending my professor an email with a time stamp and some innocuous question about the syllabus doesn’t have to be nefarious at all. 

“Alright… Just let me know if there’s anything wrong, okay? I swear this won’t become a routine thing or anything, just this time, to give me peace of mind, and because it is late… and well, yesterday…”

“It’s fine, professor. I don’t mind. And… everything will work out,” I say shouldering my bag and pocketing my phone, “everything will work out, even if my Plan B doesn’t,” I smile and scurry out the door, before the puzzlement in his face has time to settle. 

After all, a semester is only 15 weeks long, give or take… that’s plenty of time to figure things out. 

[spaceecoffe]

The Owl House x Slavic Mythology, Part 2 (this one will be longer)

Okay, so in this post I will tell you about few things. First of all you need to know something: slavic mythology is hard to uncover. It is not so easy to find true informations about this like about Greek, Roman or Norse mythology. A lot of Slavic beliefs were twisted by christian propaganda (like in last post I told you about Domovoy bringing good luck to you house -> with a time christians started to tell a story about mean house demon Domovoy and that all the good things he did were actually done by Angels, ugh). It is also twisted by patriarchy that with time didn't want people to believe in some powerful female demons or goddesses.

Slavic mythology for sure was kinda like Boiling Isles: most of demons and nature wants to kill you in some strange ways, but there were also some good demons, good characters and good gods/goddesses. And when you search for some informations you need to remember this. I'm writing it here because one of characters in this post suffers from her story being twisted by christians and men. And you can also see influence of patriarchy in first part.

But lets start the main stuff:

1. Witches and Wizards

Oh, yes, first thing you can think of is a second episode of first season "Witches before Wizards" AND I LOVE IT. Why? Because it destroys traditional look on the witches and wizards, of course! But from the beginning.

In slavic beliefs witches were women who signed a pact with the devil and gained from it magic powers. They used it to turn other people lives into hell by hexes and all that stuff. It was hard to recognise them, but people say that normally woman drinks a glass of vodka (or apple blood!) on three times while witches do it in one sip! Also, if you look deep in their eyes you will see head of a goat. But it could be any women in yours surrounding: single one, old one, married, young... You couldn't trust any woman!

And that is the misogynistic view on witches. The truth is that witches were a wise women who helped other. They often were herbalists and healers in their villages. But people didn't understand how they did their "elixirs", they only knew they worked, so the ones that were jealous about their knowledge create this story about "terrible and scary witches".

At the same time there were Wizards. They were the ones that people looked up to. And it's all because Wizards used their magic for a science and not hexing people! Like, you know... The only thing women can do is to be mean to other people and only think about how to make others lives worse, while man think about more important stuff. But, fortunately, wizards had also some bad traits, like being too ambitious.

So when Luz goes to Boiling Isles it appears that it is full of witches. Not only women witches, but also men. And this is kind of amazing because we finally abandon this archetype of only women being witches. At the same time (in second episode) we can hear King saying:

"Wizards are only old people with glitter in their pockets"

Oh, how I love this! Why? Because there always been a discourse in the topic of magic. When magic was used from science (by wizards or by alchemists) it was good, but when it was coming from nature (used by witches or folks) it was satanic and scary. But here? Here everything is opposite. We know now, thanks to Lilith, that magic in Boiling Isles is highly bonded to the nature and it is used from it. That's why everyone there is called witch, regardless of gender.

Why it is so important for me that witches are cool on Boiling Isles and wizards are only having glitter in their pockets? It's because at the same time that witches were burned on piles in Poland (1600s), you could go on Cracovian Academy (now Jagiellonian University) and get education in being Wizard or Alchemist.

So yeah, this episode just destroyed the archetype of good and wise wizards against bad and wild witches which should happen more often. But until Tolkien's books will still be "best fantasy" I doubt we will se more of breaking this stupid rule (and also sexism in fantasy).

Also, fun fact, in this episode we see Radegast in clothes with stars:

and also we hear that he was "looking at the stars" when Luz came. I know that wizards are usually depicted with some star-theme, but he really reminds me of the legend of Pan Twardowski, the most powerful wizard in Polish (some says he was a German actually) history. He signed the pact with the Devil to gain his power but run away from him to the other side of the moon, were some says, he still lives. He also probably was a real person (Jan Twardowski) who worked on Zygmunt August's court as magician and astrologist, sometime between 1530 - 1570, while as I said, witches were burned on piles.

But let's move to the second thing!

2. Eda, The Baba Yaga

Oh, yes! You've seen this coming. And also it was greatly showed in this amazing post, which you have to read! But I will put in my tuppence here.

First of all, who was Baba Yaga? You heard about her for sure, but probably all of this were lies. Surly, she was the most powerful known witch. She could do almost anything with her magic and she also could brew any potion. As you probably know she lived in the house on chicken legs deep in the forest.

As for her look she was small, old with a big nose and a lot of wrinkles:

She doesn't look nice, does she? Isn't that strange that the most powerful witch in our beliefs has to be so "ugly" (ugh, I hate this word but I have to use it here I think)? The truth is that probably she never looked like this. Historians thinks that at the beginning she was one of the most important goddesses in Slavic Mythology. She was in control of life and death, she was the personification of nature and its power. Some people also believe that she was the one responsible for children initiation to adult life. One of the historians, Zygmunt Krzak, said:

"This is about the reviled figure of the ancient goddess, a characterisation created by religious and secular male elites fighting against matriarchal religion."

So now we can see how Eda works as alternative Baba Yaga from Boiling Isles.

First of all, she IS the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles. She lives deep in the forest and she is great at brewing potions. Everyone is scared of her but at the same time, if someone is in trouble, she will totally help. Also, in episode one of season two we can see how she actually care about animals (and probably all nature).

But, most importantly, she is against Emperor's rules. As I said in subsection 1, being a witch is all about taking your power from nature. And actually what Emperor is doing is fighting with this, just like christianity when it started to appear on slavic lands. Emperor forbids to use wild magic, he tries to cut witches away from nature. He makes them join covens that can control their magic so they are becoming more and more distant from the natural magic. And Eda is this one person on whole Boiling Isles that is against it and that's why Emperor's Coven tries to change her image so people would think of her as a scary and wild witch which should meet her punishment for being that close to nature.

Another thing that reminds me of Baba Yaga is, of course, how she took care of Luz and helped her to became the witch. This is how initiation of children looks like. Yes, Eda did this in her own way but if not for her, Luz would never went do Hexside and problady wouldn't ever found out about glyphs. So yes, Eda was that one witch who helped Luz, the child (or "her kid") to become real witch, and that is probably what real Baba Yaga was doing.

Also...

Yes, I don't have to comment that, you know what I'm showing to you. But I just want to remind you that Kikimores hate chicken so it naturally goes that Kikimora is on the opposite side to Eda, The Baba Yaga.

The last thing I want to add is that Belos clearly do the same thing to witches on Boiling Isles that christians did to slavic folks (and yes, a lot more cultures in the world but here I'm focusing on Slavs). That is why I am almost sure that he is a human, probably Philippe, because this is just what people of middle and west Europe always did to different cultures -> "Veni, Vidi, Vici" as Julius Cesar said.

Part 1

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Pretty Child (K.SJ)

Warnings : leaving a pregnant woman, partial deadbeat dad

Synopsis : her baby turns 4 and she’s come face to face with his father for the first time in almost 5 years. will he step up or walk away again? will she forgive him or hold a grudge?

Word Count : 4642

I held Joon Woo’s small hand as we walked the corridors I had walked a million times once upon a time ago. As I nervously made my way to the practice room my best friend asked to meet me at, I tried not to let my smile faulter. Joon Woo had a hop in his step, excited to see Taehyung. I tried to keep my brave face on, if not for me then for my son.

           Our hands were laced together as he excitedly led me to his studio where he had been working on a song day and night. Based on the smile he wore; I could tell he had finished it and wanted my opinion. I giggled as I tried my best to keep up with the slightly taller man. “Come on!” He exclaimed as he keyed in his passcode and letting us into the decently sized room. We sat next to each other as he placed headphones on my head and pressed play.

           His gorgeous voice came through the headphones and I could feel my smile widen as I listened, watching his reaction as I did. My heart sped up when I realized the song was about me; about us. When I took the headphones off and placed them on the table, I was speechless, unsure of what to say. I could tell my lack of reaction made him nervous. “Kim Seokjin you did not write a song for me.” I smiled.

           “You’ve always been my muse, Y/N, you know that.” I did know that. He’s been writing songs since we were teenagers just beginning to fall in love. He asked me out with a song, confessed his love with a song. He had a song for every major part of our relationship. He always said he didn’t want to write about anything else, because I was all he could think of.

           “I love you, and I love this song.” I couldn’t stop the tears that were welling up in my eyes. He reached over, cupping my face as he wiped the tears away.

           “I love you and I’ll prove it for the rest of my life.”

           My son and I stood in front of the door and I slowly reached to open it. I was so happy for my best friend when we found out he had officially been signed, even more so when we found out he would be joining a boy group. It’s been his dream for as long as I can remember. “Taehyung!” My son yelled as he burst into the room and ran for the man. Taehyung turned around just fast enough to bend down and take my small son into his arms. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face at the sight. I was so entranced by how loving Taehyung was to my son that I didn’t even notice the six other boys in the room, staring. I bowed an apology.

           “Taehyung asked us to meet him here, I apologize if we interrupted.” As I stood from the bow, I met eyes I didn’t think I’d ever see again. They held an emotion I couldn’t quite pinpoint as he looked between me and my son. As quick as my smile fell, it came back to life when Taehyung was walking towards me with Joon Woo in his arms.

           “We were just finishing up, don’t worry.” Taehyung assured me, plopping Joon Woo beside me. “Do you want to watch our dance?” He excitedly asked Joon Woo who began jumping at the question. Taehyung let out a chuckle and asked his bandmates if they minded, to which all but Kim Seokjin said it was fine.

           As Joon Woo watched in amazement, my eyes wouldn’t leave the body of the man who helped bring Joon Woo into the world. It’s been a few years since I’d seen him last, and he definitely looked different; in all the best ways possible. How was it possible for one man to possess such beauty?

           “You know how busy idol life is going to be.” He began as nonchalant as possible. He sat across from me at a café not too far from the studio, one leg crossed over the other as he casually sipped his coffee. “Management agrees that it would be best if I debuted as a single man.” He took another sip as if he wasn’t breaking my heart with every word he said. We’ve been together since high school, and all those years were going down the drain. “So we should break up now.” I nodded, swallowing the sob that wanted to desperately break free. As he stood, he suddenly remembered I was the one to call him here. “Oh, you wanted to say something?”

           “You took the words right out of my mouth as always, Kim Seokjin.” I lied with the prettiest smile I could muster. Without another word, he left me sitting there with a decaf coffee on the table and a sonogram in my hands.

           “Taehyung that was so cool!” Joon Woo was jumping from his spot on the ground and running towards the man who’s helped me raise him from birth. Taehyung, though obviously exhausted, picked Joon Woo up once again. The other members decided to introduce themselves to the small boy wrapped in Taehyung’s arms. I watched with contentment as my son excitedly greeted each of the older men. Only one guy didn’t bother with talking to the almost 4-year-old and instead approached me.

           “He’s mine, isn’t he?” He didn’t beat around the bush. Didn’t ask how I’ve been or offer any kind of greeting. That’s how he’s always been. Right from the day I met him in our first year of high school and he told me we’d be dating by the end of the year. I didn’t believe the cocky man, but he was right. He had won me over right before the end of the year and I had never regretted my decision. Up until the day I was left alone in the café, all the words I wanted to say drowned out by the chatter of everyone else around me.

           “Yeah. That’s your son.” I answered him simply. No point in lying. He could do the math, and the two looked strikingly similar, as if he had absolutely none of my DNA and all of Kim Seokjin’s. I pulled the sonogram I had carried around since I got it in case I ever had the courage to face Kim Seokjin again and tell him about Joon Woo. “I was going to give this to you the day you broke up with me.” I admitted as I handed him the now old image with a note on the back.

           “Why didn’t you say anything?” I couldn’t tell if he was angry at me or himself, but his slight raise of voice caught the attention of the other boys who were slowly putting two and two together, all besides Taehyung who already knew.

           “I didn’t want you to stay with me just because I was pregnant. You had worked so hard for your debut; I didn’t want to be the reason you were held back.” I admitted, surprised I wasn’t on the verge of tears by his very presence. I could see the wheels turning in his mind of all the different scenarios of how it would have played out had I told him that day in the café. It was something I had done everyday for the last four years.

           “I-“ He looked towards our son that was occupied with the other six members of his group, who continued to look over at us. I hesitantly reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder causing his attention to be directed back to me.

           “I didn’t purposely keep him from you.” I started trying to explain but he shook his head, telling me I did the right thing.

           “I’m not fit or ready to be a father.” He had returned to the cold guy he was the day he broke up with me. “He seems to be doing just fine without me.” I could hear the sadness he tried to hide within those words, but I didn’t push him and just let him walk away. He’s always been good at walking away.

           “Are you alright?” Taehyung asked, leaving Joon Woo with his newfound friends. I wrapped my arms around myself and nodded, the tears I was doing well at keeping in threatening to make their way out. “I’m sorry, I should have warned you.” I shook my head.

           “No, you’re not the one who should apologize. It’s Jin.” I took a deep breath and put on my brave face and made my way to the others to introduce myself.

           “I’m going to marry you one day.” I turned away from the stove where I was cooking for us. I smiled when I saw him leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed across his chest. When I turned to get back to cooking, he pushed himself from the frame and wrapped his arms around me, placing his chin on my shoulder. “I want to see you like this everyday for the rest of my life.” He whispered before kissing my cheek.

           “I expect a grand proposal from you.” I joked, leaning into him as I brought the spoon up to his face for him to taste.

           “I already have the song written, babe.” He told me before tasting the food in front of him. “God that is delicious. Just like you.” He spun me around causing a small yelp to come from my lips just before he kissed me. I smiled into the kiss, excited for this to be my life forever.

           The others decided to join us for dinner, which had my son practically jumping for joy. I let the group take the lead and stayed at the back of the pack, watching the way they interacted with my son, silently wishing Jin was here getting to know his son. “I’m sure he was just surprised.” Taehyung told me, draping his arm across my shoulders.

           “Don’t worry about me, Tae. I’m used to Jin. He’s a sweet guy, but he walks away when something doesn’t go his way.” Tae let out a chuckle and nodded his head.

           “So he’s always been like that, huh.” I leaned into Tae and wrapped my arm around his waist.

           “I have many stories about him, most of which he probably wants no one to know.”

           “Oh you have to tell us!” Jimin exclaimed, turning around to walk backwards. “He always tells us how he’s always been perfect!” I couldn’t help but burst into laughter at that fact and shook my head at the fact that he really hasn’t changed at all.

           The eight of us sat around a table, barely eating as we swapped stories. I found myself really bonding with the five guys I’d never met before, and it seemed like Joon Woo was as well. He seemed to grow particularly fond of Jung Hoseok, but that was to be expected. Hoseok just had such cheery energy, it seemed impossible to not be drawn to him.

           “Mommy, can we invite them to my birthday?” Joon Woo asked while bouncing in his seat. We were getting ready to go so I could get him ready for bed. I blushed in embarrassment as I scooped him up in my arms.

           “They’re really busy, sweetie.” As I was about to explain further, Namjoon spoke up.

           “We can make time for the little guy. When’s the party?” He asked, and my heart swelled with joy. Since Joon Woo was born, it’s only been the two of us, plus Taehyung, for his birthday every year. We’d order some takeout and get a cake and spend the day inside.

           “This weekend. I don’t really have anything planned.” I admitted shyly. “Usually only Taehyung joins us.”

           “Well now that’s just a shame!” Jungkook exclaimed. “Leave it up to us, Y/N. We’ll plan something amazing for Joon Woo!” I could see Joon Woo getting more and more excited.

           “Maybe with a big party, daddy will finally show up!” I looked at their faces as Joon Woo said that and watched as all of their hearts broke. Last year, Joon Woo started asking about his father, wondering where he was and if he would celebrate his birthday with us. I told him that his dad had to go somewhere for a while, but he’d be back one day.

           “Maybe he will. But even if he doesn’t, we’ll have fun, right my sweets?” He smiled as he wrapped his small arms around my neck.

           “Of course.” I quickly said goodbye to the others and left to walk back home. “Taehyung has fun friends.” Joon Woo yawned as his energy decreased from it being just the two of us. I hummed an agreement as he placed his head on my shoulder and dozed off, leaving me alone to my thoughts. If the guys planned this party, would they be able to convince Jin to show up?

           “Happy birthday, love of my life.” Jin whispered, placing a kiss on my cheek as he woke me up. I smiled as I looked up at him and brought his face back down to kiss him.

           “If only I could wake up like this every single day.” I giggled, sitting up and noticing the tray of food on the nightstand beside the bed. “Did you make me breakfast in bed?” I looked between him and the food, my smile widening as he placed the tray on my lap.

           “Only the best for the great love of my life.” The two of us spent the morning in bed, enjoying each other’s company before getting dressed and heading out for the day Jin had planned for me. As usual, he spoiled me the best he could, telling me once he’s rich and famous, he’ll buy me everything I could ever dream of.

           “As long as you’re by my side, my dreams have come true.” I told him and he placed his hands over his heart, dramatically telling me I was killing him with my cuteness.

           “And to think you didn’t even want to date me first year.” He chuckled, draping his arm across my shoulders as we walked the mall.

           “What can I say, you won me over, Kim Seokjin.” I stood on my tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

           “Happy birthday, sweets.” I said softly as I woke up Joon Woo. “You excited for your big party?” I exclaimed and he jumped up with so much energy, it was hard to believe he had just woken up.

           “I really hope daddy can make it.” I smiled, trying to hide the hope in my heart that he would show up, to at least see how happy our son is. I don’t even care if he never tells Joon Woo he’s his father, as long as he makes an appearance just at one birthday.

           “Just remember to have fun regardless. Taehyung and his friends put a lot of thought in this party for you.”

           “Of course! I can’t wait to see Hoseok again!”

           I stood at the snack and drink table, watching Joon Woo run around and play with Hoseok and Jimin. I had a small smile on my face, knowing Joon Woo is really happy with his birthday this year; celebrating with Taehyung’s new friends. Yet, there was something missing and I could feel it. “I’m sorry, noona, we really tried.” Taehyung told me multiple times throughout the day. I shook my head each time, telling him I knew what he was like.

           “I’m used to him walking away, Joon Woo isn’t. So this is for the best.” I told him as I took another sip from the punch I had made. I’m used to having my heart broken by Kim Seokjin, Joon Woo is not, and that’s something I don’t want him to get used to. “I’m really grateful at all of you doing this for Joon Woo. He’s so happy.” It was getting harder and harder to hold back my tears. And I knew Taehyung could tell as he gave me a sad smile and said he will always do anything he can for Joon Woo and I.

           I’ve been grateful to Taehyung since the day I met him. We met soon after Jin broke up with me. I was a few months pregnant, struggling with loading things in my car and Taehyung without thinking came over and helped me. He had a lot of questions, mostly pertaining to Seokjin, and it was really nice to talk to someone about it. I asked to exchange numbers so I could pay him back later for his generosity. We clicked almost immediately after that and he soon became like a little brother to me. I was so excited when he told me he got signed to BigHit, though I never visited him, scared to relive the memories I tried so hard to forget.

           As the day came to an end, I got ready to take an exhausted Joon Woo back home. We made our rounds to say goodbye and thank you while Taehyung loaded the gifts into my car. “See you around little man.” Hoseok said to Joon Woo while ruffing up his hair.

           “Thank you again.” I said before picking Joon Woo up and carrying him out to the car where Taehyung was waiting.

           “Let me know when you two make it home.” He jokingly scolded and I chuckled, playfully hitting him, telling him I will.

           As soon as I got home, I got Joon Woo ready for bed and went to tuck him in. His eyes closed as soon as his head hit the pillow and I gave him a quick kiss on the forehead before quietly leaving the room as to not wake him up. Before bringing the presents inside, I sent a quick text to Taehyung. As I opened the front door to go back to my car, I was met with Seokjin standing in front of the door, obviously debating on knocking or not.

           “Y/N.” He spit out, his eyes widened in shock. I crossed my arms over my chest and feigned displeasure in his presence, hoping to hide the fact that my heart was beating twice as fast as it normally does. “It’s Joon Woo’s birthday.” I nodded.

           “The guys threw him a party. One you were invited to but didn’t show.” He looked down to his feet. I knew my words hurt him, but in that moment I didn’t care.

           “I was scared.” He hesitantly met my eyes again. The anger and cold heartedness I saw the day of our breakup and the day we met again completely gone. “I don’t know how to be a dad.” He admitted.

           “You think I knew how to be a mom before he was born? If it wasn’t for meeting Taehyung, I would have been doing this completely alone.” We both went silent, unsure of what to say as the awkward silence enveloped us. It was so weird having absolutely nothing to talk about with him. We used to be able to talk about anything and everything with each other. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my other half. He was my entire world before he left.

           “Can you give this to him?” He handed me a wrapped gift I didn’t realize he was holding. I stared at it in my hands, my heart breaking all over again.

           “He wants to meet you, Jin.” I said, handing the gift back to him. “Why don’t you come back tomorrow and give it to him yourself.” He looked down at the gift and back to me, trying to hand it back to me. “No, Jin. I’m not giving him a gift from his father without his father present. Joon Woo would be absolutely broken if he knew you were here, and he didn’t get to see you.”

           “I told you I’m not ready to be a father, Y/N.”

           “Then don’t buy him gifts. Don’t show up here with a half assed apology and a gift thinking that’s okay. All he wants is his dad, and if that’s not something you’re ready for, then leave.” I walked past him and went to carry on the task I originally opened the door for. Treating him like this hurt me more than it hurt him, but I had a son to protect. Jin broke my heart, but I wouldn’t let him break our son’s heart. “If you’re done, I’m going to bed.” I walked past him again, my arms filled with the gifts the guys bought him, and shut the door behind me, leaving Jin outside, still holding the gift he bought for Joon Woo.

           The next morning, Joon Woo was in the living room playing with his new toys as I busied myself in the kitchen, making breakfast for the two of us. Every once in a while, I’d look into the living room and smile to myself as I watched him excitedly play with his toys. As I was placing our plates on the dining table, the doorbell went off. “Joon Woo, go wash your hands. Breakfast is ready.” Like the well-behaved boy he is, he listened with no issues and headed to the bathroom to wash up while I went to answer the door.

��          “I thought about everything you said to me last night. And you’re right. You didn’t know how to be a mom and yet you did it on your own. You never know how to be a parent; you just do it. And as I listened to the guys go on and on about Joon Woo, I realized that I want to be apart of that.” Jin immediately spit out when I opened the door. “I made a lot of mistakes, but missing out on my son’s, our son’s, life isn’t one I want to make.” I opened the door wider, allowing him to step in the house we both once called home. Not much changed since he left besides all the toys around, and our couple pictures were now replaced with pictures of Joon Woo.

           “My sweets, there’s someone here that wants to meet you.” We rounded the corner from the foyer into the kitchen and Joon Woo looked up from his breakfast and saw Jin for the first time.

           “Hey, buddy. Sorry, I’m a little late for your birthday, but I got you something.” Jin smiled his award-winning smile and held up the wrapped box he handed me last night. He jumped off the chair and ran over with excitement and thanked him as he ripped open the present.

           “Wow! This is so cool!” Jin knelt to the ground next to Joon Woo and helped him open the plastic around the gift and showed him how to use it. I leaned against the wall and watched the two of them play together for a little bit, my heart swelling with contentment.

           “Okay, I think that’s enough play time. You need to finish your breakfast.” Joon Woo quickly got up from the floor and went to wash up again before taking his seat at the table. “There’s some extra if you want to stay. If you’re busy, I understand.” Seokjin shook his head.

           “I have the whole day off.” I smiled and went to dish him up as well. Joon Woo kept asking Jin questions throughout breakfast before asking the question I knew had been on his mind the second Jin walked through the door.

           “Are you my daddy?” Jin almost choked on his coffee, not expecting Joon Woo to be so upfront. Jin looked over to me for help, but I just smiled and nodded, letting him know it would be okay to tell him.

           “Yeah, buddy, I am.” Joon Woo smiled.

           “I knew you’d come back.” Was all he said on that as he finished up his breakfast. “Did you want to see my room?” Jin smiled.

           “Of course!” The two of them ran up the stairs with the same amount of excitement, causing me to chuckle to myself as I cleared the table and did the dishes.

           Taehyung came at his usual time to see Joon Woo and I and was surprised to find me alone in the living room, sipping on a cup of coffee and reading a book. “Jin actually came. The two of them are upstairs.” Taehyung smiled as he took a seat on the chair across from me.

           “That’s where he went when he ran out this morning.” We shared a laugh and I just nodded. “I’m guessing Joon Woo is happy to have his dad?” I just nodded again as the two of them came barreling down the stairs.

           “Taehyung!” Joon Woo exclaimed, running over to him as he always does, and Taehyung happily picked him up. “My daddy came home!” Taehyung looked over to his bandmate with a wide smile.

           “That’s amazing, Joon Woo!” He exclaimed, knowing firsthand how much Joon Woo wanted his dad, wondering why all the other kids he’s met had two parents and he only had one. “Have you been showing him all your cool toys?” Joon Woo nodded excitedly and went off telling him what Jin got him. “Wow! I want to see.” Taehyung set Joon Woo down and let him drag him upstairs, leaving Jin and I alone.

           “Taehyung is really good with Joon Woo.” Jin said, sitting in the chair Taehyung just got up from.

           “He’s been there for me since before Joon Woo was born.”

           “Are you two dating? Taehyung never specified your relationship.” I smiled and shook my head, a small laugh escaping as I saw the relief flood over Jin’s face.

           “He’s like a little brother to me.”

           “I’m really sorry, Y/N. I should have fought harder for us.” I shook my head, telling him not to apologize.

           “I don’t blame you for choosing the career you worked so hard for. Of course it hurt, but I never blamed you. I always understood you and cheered you on.” He smiled softly, but I could tell my words hurt him a little bit.

           “I never stopped writing songs for you.” He chuckled, a tear falling down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away, obviously hoping I didn’t see it. “You’ve been my muse since the day I met you, and I don’t think that’s ever going to change.” It was my turn to wipe away a falling tear. He moved from the chair to kneel down in front of me, taking my hands in his. “I made the biggest mistake of my life walking away from you almost 5 years ago. A mistake I never want to make again. I want to keep my promise and show you everyday for the rest of my life that you’re the love of my life.” He dropped my hands and cupped my face, wiping away the tears that just wouldn’t stop falling. “You don’t have to accept me today, or even next month, just let me prove to you that I won’t walk away again.”

           “Kim Seokjin, I swear to god if you walk away from me and Joon Woo, I will not hesitate in kicking you.” We chuckled and he shook his head.

           “I wouldn’t ask for anything less, love of my life.”

           “Kiss me, idiot.” He wasted no time in leaning forward and pressing his lips to mine, kissing me with all the passion he could. He put 5 years of love and passion into that kiss, and I felt it all. I trusted him with everything I am that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes.

[scorbleeo]

Semantic Error | Drama Review

2022

Image Source: Google Images

Chu Sang Woo is a junior computer science majoring student who prizes reason, rules, and a rigid sense of what is right above all else. As part of his university work, he is told to work on a group project for the liberal arts, whereby the group is required to make a final presentation in order to pass the module. But as the rest of the group – whom he knows nothing about – have decided to leave him to do all the work on his own, he decides to remove their names, and make the presentation in his name.

But little did he know that when he did this, he would deal a heavy blow to the academic prospects of a senior student named Jang Jae Young. The latter, a design major, is Chu Sang Woo’s polar opposite. He is stylish, fun-loving, and – above all – extraordinarily popular. He is the closest thing the college has to a superstar! But when his credit for the liberal arts project is taken away, his grand plans to study abroad are suddenly thrown up in the air. He seeks out Chu Sang Woo and is of a mind to torment him. But when the duo is forced to work together, a strange attraction starts to develop between them…

Source: MyDramaList

As of 2022, This is My Favourite Korean BL Drama

I do not usually crave a second season for dramas or any shows that already closed off nicely in the first instalment. However, I am seriously craving for another season of Semantic Error and it's mainly so that I get to see our two main leads' chemistry again. A drama can have an unoriginal plot like Semantic Error but when you have a cast with this amount chemistry, it makes the show a lot more enjoyable to watch. I am really quite amused that the casting team was able to find the right group of people to play the roles in this drama, the casting did great and the casts themselves did wonderfully. I am very happy with the fact that in spite of Semantic Error being short web-drama, Park Seo Ham and Park Jae Chan were so well bonded. Their bond really played a big part in the reason I thoroughly enjoyed this drama.

I would also like to add that I appreciate the lack of "dreamy-ness" this drama has. The vibe Semantic Error gave felt more like your normal Korean romance drama, if you get what I mean.

Now, let's talk about the plot for a little while. I briefly mentioned that the plot was unoriginal and I stand by that, especially since I read a lot and I used to read fan-fictions. However, because this drama only has a few short episodes and it was rather quick-paced, I didn't have time to get bored with the cliches. The problems Jaeyoung and Sangwoo were met with in their relationship also made sense for the storyline, and since they were solved before I could come up with any criticism, I really have no complains. No complains regarding the plot at all.

Before I end this review, I need to mention Choi Yu Na and Ryu Ji Hye. Yuna is an amazing woman, personally I am straight but I think I am in love with this character. We need more of Yuna in Korean dramas, gay or straight or bi, anything, just more roles like her. And Jihye, I don't think we appreciate characters like Jihye enough. She's a character created solely as the third party in a monogamous relationship but I've realised we don't get enough of female third parties that step back without going through that vendetta stage, especially in Korean dramas. Korean show writers, can you please work to fix that? A role like Jihye can remain nice even after a rejection.

Rating: ★★★★★

[berena-cpr]

Unfinished Masterpieces - Fic Rec List

Remember the WIP on ao3 you can’t let go? The one that resonated with you? The one that you’d give anything to know how it ends?

While the Berena Creative Project Resuscitation event is all about starting to work again on projects sitting in our draft folders, life can get in the way of finishing a project for a hundred reasons.

These works, posted, but still a few chapters short of ending, are loved though and with this list we’d like to share the love for the unfinished masterpieces one can find in the Berena tag on ao3.

Given the high response we had when we asked to tell us about your favourite WIPs, you’ll find the list under the cut:

Anything Else to Declare? - LittleMissO

“I've personally had sleeping issues since I read LittleMissO's Anything Else to Declare because yeah, I'm still there, breath held and heart pounding like crazy after the most delicious slow burn, and pining, and that outrageously flirtatious conversation over a whiskey.”

that line between your heart and mine - ktlsyrtis

“it is just plain hot but also I love the idea of them writing letters to each other and I also love the exploration of what their relationship might be like with Bernie still being in the RAMC.”

you disappear like your cigarette smoke (now the taste of your kiss is all that remains) - bonnissance

“A wonderful, emotional angst filled fic, looking at how Bernie’s life might still have progressed after Serena left. I loved how it showed her testing her own boundaries to see if it was possible to find another relationship with someone else and when she found that wasn’t something she could do, she accepted it and found other ways to be happy without Serena. I reread it fairly often because although unfinished it doesn’t ever seem incomplete. But the last word “Serena” always leaves me full of a hope that I would dearly love to have fulfilled.”

Secrets in the Dark - Wonko

“I’d love to see this continued!”

For a Good Time Call - Regency

“Young Serena using that pure sex voice of hers to make a little extra as a phone sex operative, and young nervous Bernie taking the first tentative steps in exploring her sexuality. Who better than Serena to help her figure things out? The premise of the fic is ingenious, the writing amazing, the dialogue just outstanding. Hot, sexy, soft and full of compassion and feels. I would sell a kidney to read the next chapter to this – Bernie and Serena meeting years later and recognising each other’s voices.”

you're the only one I never looked for - gutsandglitter

“Never expected I'd enjoy a Baby Boom AU, but I love this fic. Serena hanging out in the country feeling extremely overwhelmed and constantly running into this weird tall, awkward woman named Bernie is a mood. I will forever hold out hope for an update so that I can someday read about them having lots of sex (after an appropriate amount of angst, miscommunication, and unexpected grocery store encounters, of course).”

Things Kayryn doesn't write - Kayryn

“So they’re not exactly unfinished, because they are complete, beautifully crafted, amazingly inventive, head canons, but they’re not completed fic’s so I’m counting them. I actually think that’s one of the lovely things about them, there’s a full story in there but enough space in them to bring your own imagination to the details. The fact that every head canon is spot on and you can completely image it happening is the icing on the cake, and the perfect characterisation is the cherry on top. Canon could have taken lessons from from Kayryn”

I Want to be Your Fantasy (Maybe You Could Be Mine) - Regency

“I just love the concept and the first chapter just pulled me in and I so very much want to know what happens next.”

Notting Hill - Bat_and_Breakfast

“All the “Rom Com idiots in love but they don’t know it miscommunication capers” re-envisaged for Berena you say? Sign me up! I love the way the plot of Notting Hill is absolutely recognisable, but never at the expense of Bernie and Serena’s characters. Everything they do, their responses, the dialogue, is so them. And the cleverly cast Holby regulars as supporting stars - genius. It’s an absolute triumph of transformative work. It’s wonderfully and engagingly written. If you’ve ever got sucked into watching “just a bit” of rom com and found you’ve just lost a couple of hours of your life - this fic does the same thing.”

Follow Me There - troiing

“Full disclosure: I’ve never watched Sanctuary and I know nothing about the characters. But this crossover fic is so good, that it doesn’t even matter.”

hold me closer (tiny dancer) - serenacampbell

“I don’t know why I’m so attached to that fic, but I am. I love the premise of a slow burn fic where the characters still get to do sexy things during the awkward slow burn oblivious period. It’s like the best of both worlds.”

Machu Pechinku - Jrnsaxa

“Forget France and Nepal, what if Serena spent her sabbatical in Peru? The setting in this is beautifully vivid, as is the the delicate ways in which Serena and Bernie start to reconnect after Elinor.”

Hello, Major - lesbianquill

“This is a near perfect Serena being fixated on Bernie in fatigues fic. The first chapter is very insightful, helping us to understand why Bernie might not be happy to accede to Serena’s small kink/obsession. That of course doesn’t last for too long because Bernie loves Serena and she loves having sex with Serena. It was offered as a smutty one shot, but then they rewarded us with an even smuttier second chapter and teased us with the news that a third chapter would be forthcoming. It never happened. Main reason for wishing it could be continued? I enjoy well-written smut.”

In the Spirit of Three Stars - alwayssomethingelse

“Bernie and Serena as Federation officers on Deep Space Nine. Oh, the potential!”

Anatomically Correct - phantomunmasked

“Bernie severely overcompensating for any possible awkwardness in their first time by ordering a mountain of sex toys is a premise that will always delight me. Every time I go back to this one, I ponder what their weekend away would bring with a big grin.”

The Clinic - RexWolfe

“Maybe it’s all the Bramwell we’ve been watching, but this one’s been on my mind lately. Can’t go wrong with a Victorian AU.”

a life in pictures - Regency

"I soooo want to see Serena maybe modelling for Bernie (or at least just how the date goes)”

working up a storm inside my head - sevtacular

“While this isn’t actually an unfinished fic in the sense of chapters missing, the prompt fic collection of Sev can always be added to as far as I’m concerned. Love what has been written so far, hope there will be new chapters with time.”

Body and Soul - ChalkHillBlue

“Possibly the weirdest AU idea ever, this body swap AU makes my brain go crazy with the possibilities every time I read it.”

When We Need One Another The Most - Whispersmummy

“I know this isn’t strictly Berena but it wouldn’t have been written if not for the Berena fandom who love most every conceivable way these two dorks might get together. Very well written (imo) and cleverly constructed fic. Lots and lots of angst and who doesn’t love angst? Only thing missing is a small amount of smut. (Yes I’m back there).”

Ring In The New - fiveroundsrapid

“Fics where Bernie comes to Holby before/during Adrienne’s illness are my kryptonite, and this one is so good!”

Holby One: A Star Wars AAU Story - elitryalittle

“Holby One is my favorite unfinished fic. It’s not just because I came to Berena via Star Wars (a bit of an unusual way, but here I am), but also because I can totally see Serena as a healer and Bernie as a Jedi knight. Kudos for their excellent knowledge of the SWU and this great idea of a crossover fic. I’d give them a limited edition “Looking for Leia” patch and a sticker if they’d finish it.”

to gaze at you, from afar (I sigh, I sigh, I sigh) - bonnissance

“The photographer/model AU you never knew you needed in your life, but you really, really do.”

Heroic Endeavor - Nicolaruth27

“I never would’ve thought I’d be down for a Greek god AU, but this fic has permanent residence in a corner of my brain. Bernie as Athena in mortal form is inspired, and the way the fic is interwoven with canon is a delight.”

what a lovely way to burn - ktlsyrtis

“I just love anything that's weaved into canon but with them being happy and dating and communicating."

Love, Unexpected - Igerna

“Bernie is still married to Marcus when she meets Serena during a conference. They immediately bond and keep in contact, sharing both professional advice and thoughts on their private lives. Love, for them, happens rather unexpectedly. I do love conference fics and slow burns - and this is a good one.”

a little less war torn - kitnkabootle

“The setup for this - in which Serena is the one who goes to help when Bernie is brought to Holby, instead of Raf - is one of my favorite ‘what ifs’ to ponder, and the writing is outstanding.”

[skylarmoon71]

Bumblebee x Reader (Transformers)- Chapter 4

“Did I oversleep again?”

You squint, raising your head from your pillow. You almost jumped at the sight of the Autobot sitting in your room.

“B-Bee!”

You covered your mouth when you realized how loudly you said that. Running to the door, you locked it before turning back to him.

“W-What are you doing, how did you even get in with no one seeing.”

Looking out the open window, you realized it was still pretty dark. You just sighed. He was sitting with his legs pulled to a side. Because of his size, and the lack of room, there wasn’t much space for him to spread out.

“I missed you sport.” you couldn't be mad after he said that. It was only a weekend and he was already lonely.

“I’m surprised Sam never notices when you sneak away. Then again he’s probably used to it by now.”

Bumblebee was just sitting attentively, looking at you with those curious blue eyes. Now that he was just staring at you, it made you a little self conscious. You hadn’t exactly prepared for his arrival. All you had on was a tank top and a pair of shorts. You tugged at the shirt, looking down at your feet nervously.

“(Y/N).” you looked up at the sound of his call. He held out his hand for you. Stepping forward a bit hesitant, you took his hand. He guided you to the spot right between his legs, and you followed, sitting down. With your back to his chest, you tried to keep your eyes forward. Your nerves were on end.

“Bee you...when did you get your voice fixed?” you needed to make some type of conversation to keep your mind occupied, that seemed like the best topic. He sounded so different when he said your name, with no help from the radio it appeared.

“Ratchet has been helping me, do you like it?” you nod, turning slightly to look up at him.

“Mhmm, it suits you.” He sounded like a regular teenager. Yet still slightly mature.

“I’ve been learning a lot of things while you’ve been away (Y/N).” you raised a brow.

“Really, like what ?”

“Like the way humans interpret things compared to us. On cybertron we form bonds through our spark. It connects us. “ He pointed to his chest.

“Physically, we don’t have a heart, so there are still a few parts that I’m trying to understand. Like pain, pleasure..” you swallowed. Was it just you or did he say that part pretty seductively.

“O-Oh, well that’s r-really cool Bee.”

Why were you getting so worked up, you were imagining things. There’s no way that Bumblebee was trying to come unto you. That was ridiculous.

“Can I ask you a question (Y/N)?”

“Yeah sure, hit me.”

“Can I touch you?” you almost choked.

“T-T-Touch me!”

His hand came down, metal fingers resting on your knee. You were so small compared to him. The thought of him touching your body didn’t scare you, more like it excited you. That’s what sort of scared you.

“Are you afraid of me?”

“N-No of course not, it’s just that I-I...well I..” you stammered, not sure how to phrase it.

“You’ve never been touched by anyone.” your cheeks burned. You weren’t sure how to deal with your embarrassment, so you just buried your face into his chest plates, nodding slowly. A deep chuckle echoed throughout the room, and hell it was definitely the sexist thing you’d ever heard.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m kind of relieved. Lately just being with you doesn't seem like enough. I can't stop thinking about you. Your eyes, hair, lips..” His tone sends you into a small stir. It's so entrancing.

“Bee..”

Where did this side of him come from?

“Yes.” you gripped at his arm. Closing your eyes.

“Y-You can.”

“I can, what?” He was obviously teasing.

“Touch me. I want you to touch me Bee..” His engine reeved slightly.

The hand that reached down and slid between your thighs had your head spinning. Your fingers were digging into the metal of his hand as you tried to remain calm. You whimpered slightly. With your already lacking clothing, you could feel everything. His fingers were cold, but the moment it touched your most sensitive area, your entire body set aflame. Bumblebee was watching, studying every little sound you made, quick breath you took. He was getting pretty heated himself. Your breathless expression was so arousing. He wanted more, needed more. His free hand groped your chest softly and you moaned out his name.

“This is incredible.” He whispers. You were shaking in pleasure with every stroke of his hand to your core. You bit down on your lip, trying to stifle your moans.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to keep it in (Y/N), I want to hear you. Does it feel good?”

It felt amazing. If only you could put that into words. You settle for a half nod.

“I love you like this (Y/N), you’re so submissive it’s adorable.”

Another helpless whimper left your lips as you bucked.

“Bee...Bee..Bee!”

You gasped, rolling unto the floor with a thud.

Looking up, your eyes were wide.

“N-No way…” you did not just do that.

“Oh shit.”

You had a wet dream, about Bumblebee.

“I’m screwed. “

That you were.

~~~~~

Waking up the next morning was a struggle. You twisted and turned in bed, and at the end, you only managed to get two hours of sleep. The blaring alarm clock on your dresser made you groan, rolling over.

“I really hate school.” This was the worst way to start Monday morning. Standing up begrudgingly, you started your morning routine, dreading what was about to await you.

~~~~

“What’s got you so cranky.” you turned to your friend, opening your eyes a bit wider and she just started laughing. “You look like you haven’t slept in weeks, what happened?”

“Had a weird dream.” There was no way you were going to tell her you had a sexual dream about your alien robot friend who you were hopelessly crushing on.

“Stop watching those crime shows before you go to sleep. I keep telling you but you never listen."

If only she knew.

With a long sigh, you gripped your bag, pulling it over your shoulder. At least school was over. You barely made it through the first period. If not for the nap you took at lunch, you would have been out the rest of the day. Walking in step with your friend, your eyes drifted to the yellow vehicle parked outside your school.

“Hey (Y/N)!”

The window rolled down, and Sam grinned at you. Mikaela was in the passenger seat, wearing a smile of her own.

“Hey guys what’s up?”

The both of you went to different high schools, so it wasn’t unusual for him to stop by every now and then.

“Bee was getting a bit impatient, so I decided to just come pick you up.” Your heart skipped. Your friend nudge your hand with a smile, in which you returned with an eye roll.

“See you later (Y/N)~” She really did remind you of your mother sometimes. You waved her off, opening the door as you slid into the seat. The door closed and Sam pulled off. The conversation was light, you added in a word every now and then just to let them know you were invested, but your mind was elsewhere. You slumped a little in the seat. Just staying awake in class was a challenge. You were exhausted.

“Can I touch you (Y/N)..”

Your eyes flew open. You couldn’t even close your eyes anymore. You folded your hands on your lap, trying to steady your breath.

“Don’t make a scene, calm down, calm down.”

“You alright back there?” Sam watched you from the rear view mirror. Mikaela turned, and you were positive she noticed the flush in your cheeks. “I...I..” you couldn’t even speak properly.

“It's a girl problem isn’t it?” Mikaela interrupted. You were confused for a second, but the look she sent you, you knew she understood what was happening somehow.

“Y-Yeah, these cramps are torture.” Sam grimaced. “Enough said. Bee, step on it.” He didn’t even question it. You smiled at Mikaela appreciatively, mouthing your thanks.

The ride went by faster, and when you stepped out of the car, Mikaela followed. “I’m gonna help (Y/N) Sam.” He nodded. “Do what you gotta do.” You could tell he just didn’t want the details. It was funny how childish he was when it came to that stuff. She kissed him goodbye.

“B-Bye Bee.” you mumbled.

“Later.” you didn’t need to be a genius to know he was disappointed. He was obviously looking forward to spending the evening with you. All that was running through your mind, there was no chance that would happen. You could barely survive a car ride, you weren’t sure you could sit through a conversation with him without those images flashing in your head. Opening your front door, you headed straight for your room, Mikaela behind you trailing silently. Inside your room felt like your own little safe space, and the moment you dropped your bag, she was watching you with a smirk.

“Okay spill, tell me everything.”

“W-What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb, you were blushing in the car, and I’m one hundred percent sure it wasn’t because of Sam. “

So she did realize. You were honestly praying she would assume you were crushing on Sam.

“Would you believe me if I said he’s kind of cute?”

She looked unimpressed. “Nice try, now spill. “

You fell backwards on the bed covering your face.

Mikaela’s face lit up. “Oh my goodness you have a thing for Bumblebee!”

“Shhh not so loudly!” you almost fell off the bed for the second time that day.

“You have to tell him, I can tell him if you want.”

“No! No one’s saying anything especially after that dream I had.”

Shit.

“Oh..my goodness.” Mikaela mouthed. You groaned.

“You had a dirty dream about him!!”

“AHHH!! Would you keep your voice down woman!!”

There was a whole lot of talking after that. The biggest reason behind your fear of anyone finding out was more because you thought they would judge you. Bumblebee was a robot, yet to you he just felt so human like that you barely paid mind to the rough exterior. He didn’t even have a beating heart, but he held the power to make yours go into overdrive with just a look. You were hopelessly in love with him.

How would you hide that?

[rosereview]

Chain of Iron Review

Like my Chain of Gold review (which you can find on my post list or here) this is going to be a hot mess of emotions and feelings with very many spoilers. If you’re wondering if you should read this book (a review without spoilers) my thoughts are go fricking read everything by Cassandra Clare and fall in love with me. Yes, I highly recommend everything that woman has touched with a pen. But besides that, let's get into this review.

Characters

James Herondale- first let's start with one of the main characters who was a big part of this novel. To be honest I don’t have much to say about him personally without getting into his relationships with others and the plot points in the book (which I will talk about later), but I guess I will talk about my love for him. I was unsure at first (before Chain of Gold) how I was going to feel about James and if he would be a typical Herondale boy and be very similar to his father or his descendant, Jace. I was worried that he would be too similar to Will and Jace that he would not stand out, but like in Chain of Gold, I was very happy with his individual character traits and personality. While he is like Will and Jace, James is also very different and his own person. He’s a typical heart throb Herondale, while still having this very reserved and responsible side to him that I love so much. His only flaw is something he can’t control, so yeah… strong character.

Cordelia Carstairs- Like last book, I LOVE Cordelia, although this book was harder to read because of what she went through. Multiple times I wanted to just give her a hug and let her cry on my shoulder. I wish she hadn’t had to go through so much trauma in this book, but I know she’ll become a better character because of it. The whole ordeal with being Lilith’s paladin hurt very much, her unrequited (not really) love for James was heartbreaking to see continuously played on (I JUST WANTED THAT DAMN GRACELET OFF), and the parts about her father also hurt. I need to read Chain of Thorns now, just to make sure that Cordelia is alright in the end.

Matthew Fairchild- talking about Matthew makes me sad because I absolutely love him as a character and I just need him to get better. I’m so happy that he opened up to Cordelia in this book, but I need him to start loving himself again. The pain I feel when reading about him trembling and drinking himself to honestly too much (especially since he’s just a fictional character). And that’s really all I want for Matthew, is for him to be okay one day.

Grace Blackthorn- this was very interesting in Chain of Iron because we got a lot of flashback scenes from Grace’s point of view and that made me not hate her as much anymore. I still am very annoyed at her, but I like that I can finally see more of her side and sympathize with her. I’m very interested to see more of her character development, especially individually without all the stuff with James obscuring my image of her.

Lucie Herondale- someone else that I found I loved much more in this book was Lucie. In the last book, from what I can remember, Lucie was a little interesting at parts (I kind of want to say annoying, although that’s a little too harsh of a word), but I loved her in this book. She had much more character development (I thought) and her personality came out more in a less hectic way. Her inner thoughts started to make more sense to me, and I loved learning more about her as not someone who is just James’s sister, or Cordelia’s future parabatai, but as her own person.

Jesse Blackthorn- Another character I loved to see more of although we mostly just saw him through Lucie’s eyes, and I also already loved him even before. He became a much more understanding and developed character in this book and I can’t wait to see more of him now that he’s alive!

Alastair Carstairs- I totally fell in love with him in this book too! Holy shit, all I wanted to do was hug him and tell him that it would all be alright. Because he is an older sibling I think I can relate to him a lot more now, especially with all this baggage that he was keeping and trying to protect Cordelia from. I found the scenes with just him in them (like when he’s thinking about the future while looking out the window in his house after his father dies and thinking about his new baby sibling that will be born) absolutely amazing and captivating. Obviously I used to hate him because of the short stories that he was in the Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy and other extra short stories, but now I need more of him and I’m internally hurting for him.

Thomas Lightwood- Another character I am hurting for and I just need him to be okay. I loved and hated the fact that he felt so hurt for James because of the killer and he wanted to unburden James by catching the killer. I was just so moved but also so angry that he was putting himself in danger that it was a very emotional time reading (like me clutching the book and shouting at Thomas to stop and go back). But I will always love Thomas and can’t wait to see more of him. 

Christopher Lightwood- Last but certainly not least, is Christopher, who I am obsessed with. That one POV moment that we had from him was one of my favourites and now I need to hear from him more. I love all of his quirks and his inner thoughts are the most adorable thing but also makes me sad because he has no one but Henry to share them with and who fully understands and appreciates him for who he is. Also I still really find it wild that he’s the son of Cecily and Gabriel, who aren’t science-y people at all and who are both much more sarcastic characters, while Christopher is just so sweet and perfect. (Not saying Cecily and Gabriel aren’t perfect, but still never would have imagined them to have a kid like Christopher, but at the same time I find it so perfect that they did). Also I just love Christopher so much! I know I said that already, but I just can’t get over it. I need more of his inner thoughts and just more of HIM. 

Relationships

Now we can finally talk about the characters in terms of their relationships with other characters and since I was just talking about Christopher I need to start with…

Christopher and Grace! — I loved that little moment they shared when they were in Henry’s laboratory and were bonding of the pithos. It was the best moment in the whole book and I keep thinking about it in my head. I know of the family tree from the Clockwork Princess inside cover, it says that Christopher and Grace will get married and have the Lightwood offspring, but I just hadn’t really realized that significance until now. They are so cute together and even though I have expressly said I hated Grace in the past, the way she understood Christopher and the way they could talk together, warmed my heart so much and was the most redeeming part of Grace’s character for me. I just need more moments of Grace and Christopher. 

Now to the next most pressing relationship…

The James, Cordelia, Matthew love triangle!

Let's start with Cordelia and James— I love them together. Even with all the annoying shit with James and the bracelet, their relationship shone in this book and I was so happy about it. They are so perfect for each other and all of their moments together I was bursting with joy. Their chemistry, but also their solid foundation for their relationship is so well written that it’s impossible for me not to see them as together. This is their story and I’m in love with it.

Now Cordelia and Matthew— I also love them, but probably not as much. The thing is, I’m just obsessed with Matthew, so while I love the relationship just because I want Matthew to find happiness, I think James and Cordelia are better together. The problem is with Matthew is that he needs to work on himself first before he could ever hope to fully love someone else and share a life with someone else. I’m very happy for the moment though that Matthew has Cordelia at his side and that he even shared his biggest secret with her because I do think that Cordelia has the capacity to help Matthew (maybe even on this trip to Paris) but I also don’t want it to be too much for Cordelia since she already had to deal with similar issues with her dad and I don’t want it to bring up hard memories for her. But either way I just need the next book to see what happens after that VERY emotional cliffhanger. Cassie did me dirty with that one. 

James and Grace— Well I hate the fricking bracelet (also side note, I absolutely love that the fandom nicknamed the bracelet, gracelet. I love that so much). But I also see why Grace felt like she had to put it on and why she couldn’t take it off, but it still makes me so mad. Especially the way she still felt she could manipulate James in the end because she had nowhere else to go. I hate that part of her, the part that her mother taught her that it’s okay to manipulate men. But I was also so happy how James went off on her at the end, it was very satisfying until Cordelia ran off, but still very happy that James got to yell at Grace like that. 

Lucie and Jesse— another couple I am now fully invested and in love with. This book made me like Lucie more BECAUSE of her development with Jesse. I liked Jesse before, but this book, where we got to see lots of their development as a couple and be completely honest with each other, sealed the deal for me. I can’t wait to read more about Jesse and Lucie in the future because I am so happy for them and so in love with their love, it’s actually kind of ridiculous. 

Alastair and Thomas— again, I just fell completely in love with them in this book. The scenes with them locked up together were some of my favorite scenes, but I was beyond sad when Alastair still broke it off with Thomas in the end. I needed one couple to find some sort of happy at the end of this book, but all of them ended badly! I was very mad, but I can’t wait for the next book to see them get together (because they have to get together). 

Anna and Ariadne— I just love Anna so much and I want her to be happy, but in this book I also felt for Ariadne too. At first I didn’t like her because of the fact that she broke Anna’s heart, but now seeing her try so hard to make up with her… it just makes my heart break for the both of them. Also the only parts in this book that had these two in it, were scenes about their relationship, which is why I didn’t have anything to say about their individual personalities, but I would like to add that Anna is definitely one of my favourite Lightwoods and one of the best minor characters in the Shadowhunter universe. 

Lucie and Cordelia— for these two I wish that we had more scenes of them as friends, but I think one of the most powerful parts of this book that made it so sad, was the fact that Cordelia and Lucie didn’t talk. The way the two girls were by themselves with their problems definitely was a huge factor of why everything went bad, and I’m very certain that if Lucie and Cordelia had talked more, things would have ended differently. So I see and understand why they weren’t able to be the parabatai pals that I wanted them to be, but I still am waiting desperately for more scenes of the two of them just being friends. Another reason I cannot wait for the last book of the series. 

Grace and Jesse— because of all the flashback scenes of Grace, I was able to appreciate her relationship with her brother more. The bond that they have between brother and sister is so strong and beautiful that it’s another thing that redeems Grace as a character, and makes me sympathize a lot more with her. 

The Merry Thieves— just want to say that I love them so much. I will always love them and I just need more scenes of the group of them plus Lucie, Anna, and Cordelia. That is all.

Plot

For plot details in this book, I just have a couple things to talk about, the first being: WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE REAL MAGNUS! Honestly, I know where he was, but I felt so betrayed when Lilith revealed herself to be a pretend Magnus. Every Shadowhunter book has Magnus helping to save the day, and my theory is that the reason everything went so shitty was because Magnus wasn’t there. Jem and Magnus are always needed for these Shadowhunter children who just keep getting caught up into shitty situations. He better help more in the next book (which I already know he will, since at the end of Chain of Iron he was there with Will). On that note, I also thought it was clever of Cassie to have Will and Tessa gone for the majority of the book, because I feel like if they had been there, shit wouldn’t have gotten that bad, both concerning Belial and the kids’ love lives. It wouldn’t have been believable if they had been there but all the events happened in the same way, because I’m pretty sure Will or Tessa would have given more advice to James and Lucie. 

Secondly, that was some crazy business with Belial and Lilith, and also I’m so excited that Lilith is back. I think she’s such an interesting villain being Adam’s first wife and all. But also I don’t like who she’s a manipulative bitch, but I think that’s part of her charm. 

Next, the gracelet. I hate it. Period. Glad it’s off. 

Next plot point— all the stuff with Malcolm! Oh my goodness that was so interesting to see how Malcolm’s villain origin story started. I can’t actually believe that it was Grace that told Malcolm straight up about Annabel (I can actually believe it, I just think it ironic that she’s also a Blackthorn, and really only Blackthorns seem to have messed up Malcolm’s life). I’m very interested to see more of what he does with Jesse and Lucie now that Jesse is alive and Malcolm knows more about Lucie’s powers. 

Lastly, I wanted to touch on the extra short story from the first editions of Chain of Iron, with Magnus and Jem. I think that it was an important scene concerning the future Eldest Curses novel, The Black Volume of the Dead, and maybe even the Wicked Powers series. It just made me even more excited for the future Shadowhunters books and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for us moving forward!

And that’s all I have to talk about. Thank you if you read to the end and were able to sift through my thoughts. This is totally unedited, so sorry for stupid mistakes and such. 

Until next time!

~Rose Reviews