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maitadori · 2 years ago

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WEAK WILLED KNIGHT part 3. nsfw. blade x fem!reader

word count : 4.7k

part one. part two. part three

summary : in which you miss blade since you haven’t seen him for two weeks and he decides to greet you with a breathtaking kiss and fucks you dumb.

content / cw : creampie, degrading, praising, fingering, breeding kink uhh idk that’s all i remember

a/n : this took days to post because i nitpick my writing literally all the time. i used a few of my fave smuts as reference for this so if u notice a similarity or two that’s why. anyways hope u all enjoy!!

DARK CONTENT BLOGS PLZ DNI

"is there something wrong?" jing yuan, once again, called you into his office. you found it odd that he was always absent yet conveniently there when you needed scolding.

during the weekly cloud knight training you got too drowned in your thoughts, causing your partner to easily take control of the duel— which was unusual, for everyone knew that you were one of the most adept among the knights, and to see you so out of form… it hasn't been just today this has happened either, ever since the run-in with kafka, you haven't been able to think straight.

it's come to the point where you were taken to jing yuan, that's when it hit you that this has gone too far. but what could you tell him? would you be able to admit to him that this man was the reason for your sudden downgrade in skill?

the mere thought of that idea had you recoiling. you were too prideful to admit that some man was making your mind so jumbled.

your silence seemed to be the exact answer jing yuan needed, you both hated and loved how well he could read you.

"maybe you should go home for the day."

"huh?" you question, perking up. "there's no need for that."

"it's obvious your mind is elsewhere, and it has been for over two weeks. i can't have you holding us back, [name]. this issue needs to be fixed. and if it means giving you a day to solve whatever this is, then so be it."

his words stung. holding us back...

you had to remember, before he was your friend, he was your general. you got too lost in the privilege of being special to him that you forgot what being under him as a subordinate was really like.

"i see..." you bowed your head, burning your gaze into the ground, trying and failing horribly to hide your emotions. "i understand, general. thank you for your consideration."

"he'll visit you." he suddenly spoke.

you jerked up, looking at your general with widened eyes. "w-what..?"

"you think that man can survive longer than two weeks without seeing your face?" jing yuan chuckled, crossing his arms.

you blinked, surprised, before you spoke in a shaky tone. "i'd like if you dropped the subject, general. i'll be taking my leave now."

he could only hum as he watched you leave.

you were quick to dress into something more comfortable as you tried erasing jing yuan’s words from your mind. you fumbled with your armor slightly, groaning in irritation. over the years, it wasn't too difficult to get used to the heaviness of your uniform, but it could still be a nuisance to you. yours was like sushang’s, lighter in weight than the average male, but you could still admit the clothing’s annoyance to you.

you approached your window, cracking it open and watched as it swayed your curtains. you could only sigh, lean against the window sill, and battle the crisis in your mind as you watched your people.

the kiss hasn't left your mind since it happened. as embarrassing as it seemed, you couldn't get blade out of your head. whether it be his haughty smirk, his voice, or his lips. you groaned and dropped your head in your hands. you didn't even notice how much it was affecting your behavior until someone as clumsy as sushang dominated the fight.

"that bastard... he has me wrapped around his stupid fucking fingers." you whispered to yourself in a low, angry voice.

for someone like blade— who before, you saw as below you— to make you feel such a way...

in front of everyone else, your pride was powerful, yet the sight of blade's face stomped it down in a mere second.

i miss him... you admitted to yourself. it was something you'd never say aloud. what the hell do i even miss...? even before the kiss, the only moments with blade were him trying his hardest to get under your skin and get reactions out of you. you'd never forget the time he grabbed your fingers through his cell bars to interlock his hand with yours.

all you could remember after that was blowing up at him, words jumbled as you tried to find an excuse for your embarrassment.

you shook your head back and forth in hope of ridding yourself of these thoughts. but even as you closed your window and laid in bed to sleep, the kiss made home behind your closed eyelids. you turned on your other side, hoping it was just you needing to get comfortable. but you felt no drowsiness.

"dammit.." you groaned to yourself, pillow tight in your grip.

you squeezed your eyes shut, trying the hardest you could to put yourself to sleep, even if forcefully. all you could think of was blade and what he was doing. and it wasn't until a full seven minutes later that your body finally decided to give you the pleasure of slumber.

noises that were lost on your sleeping form resonated through your bedroom. the squeak of your window was loud, it had you shuffling in your sheets. blade at first, tried to quietly sneak through the window after finding your front door locked before deciding not to care. you didn't keep your door unlocked like he instructed, so if you woke up, that was only your karma.

but then the thought of a possible intruder getting into your house and faltered. his steps became lighter. he neared your sleeping figure and looked at you. he wanted nothing more than to disturb your sleep and kiss you breathless. but when he took another look you looked as if your sleep was exhausting you more than replenishing you. you tossed and turned, eyebrows furrowed. maybe you were having a nightmare.

well, kissing could come after. your wellbeing came first. his hand caressed your face with the intent of soothing you, yet you only jolted awake. it was dark outside, the sun finally set. you could only see your room from what the moon decided to illuminate.

but your eyes adjusted to the dark and you instantly recognized the familiar silhouette standing above you. "b-blade..?" you asked, voice still heavy with sleep.

he only hummed in response as he climbed to hover over you, not hesitating to get his face near yours. your breath started going off track instantaneously. you lazily put your fingers over his lips, trying to feebly stop him from coming any closer. he was already making your heart going crazy enough by simply being here and letting you wake up to the sight of him, you didn't need the pounding of your heartbeat resonating in your ears next.

"i-i'm not dreaming, right?"

in response blade pinched the skin of your waist that your ridden up shirt exposed. you squeaked in pain. "what the hell!?" you whisper shouted.

"you're not dreaming." he said, tone soft. you hated admitting that the sound of his voice soothed you.

blade grabbed your wrist easily, removing your hand from his face to push it against your bed, and gently laid you against your pillows with his own body, leaning over you. his hair draped over you like a curtain, leaving you with nowhere to look but him.

any earlier resistance disappeared and you gave in the second his lips brushed against yours, going lax on your bed. the hand that held yours squeezed tighter, his other hand traveling up to hold your cheek. you leaned further into him once his lips finally met yours, giving you that sweet relief of having him against you once more.

even if you tried denying your feelings, they were apparent to blade, who could easily see through you. him and jing yuan were definitely rivaling in that aspect, and you weren't sure whether or not you hated it.

he moved the hand the held your face to your back, arching you up into him. you could tell from the way he was biting your lips and caressing his tongue with yours that this might escalate. and as he kissed you even harder you admitted to yourself that you wouldn't mind if it did.

his harsh kisses were definitely waking you up from your slumbered daze, it was then that the events that transpired earlier today seeped into your mind, causing you to lose your confidence in the kiss. blade must've noticed, for he pulled away to speak, "what's wrong?"

"why... do you even like me?" you asked in a trembling voice, deciding to be straightforward. if you thought about asking him for a second longer, you would've lost the will. plus, the question has plagued your mind for awhile and you needed answers. it’s not as if you were opposed to blade taking after you, but you couldn’t understand exactly why.

he hovered over you, moving his hand and letting your back ease into the mattress to tap the back of his index finger against your lips. "there's a lot of reasons why. but one... i like seeing the different expressions you make. whether it be when i make you angry, your brows furrow and you pout your lips, and you don't even notice." he whispers, and even in the dark you can tell he's smirking.

"or... when i kiss you and you get that desperate look on your face."

desperate!? excuse me!? you screamed in your head, flushing.

"why do you ask?"

you look away, too humiliated to say a word, but you speak up anyways, "no reason. just curious..."

blade observed you, he was good at reading people. it must've came with the job. your expression was very telling, and the fact that you were having a nightmare before he arrived was a huge factor as well.

"i like you."

it was random, and it had you sputtering, but it immediately helped assure your worries. you knew blade most likely figured out what was up, or he wouldn't have said something like that out of nowhere. though, before you could savor his words, he spoke up once more.

"can i touch you?"

would he cut it out!? if he kept saying and asking things like that so boldly you'd probably explode.

"you're already touching me..." you say snottily.

"you're right, which means i basically have permission." he whispers, loosening his hold on your hand to travel down to your thighs, spreading them open sharply.

you gasped, immediately using your free hands as leverage to cover your expression.

"look at me." he demands.

"..." you peek at him through your fingers, body going weak once you catch sight of his expression. his face is so full of want, and his face adorns a small cocky smirk. you hated how it made the heat between your legs increase. you know you shouldn't be into the way he stared at you, but you really couldn't help it.

"i'm gonna touch you, okay? will you let me?"

"do whatever you want..." you reluctantly relent.

blade ignored your attempt at veiling your actual needs and traveled his fingers higher up your thigh, tugging on your bottoms. "take these off.." he mutters.

you listen and does as he says, so he lifts himself sightly to give you space to slide your shorts down your legs. he grabs them for you and throws them aside, in a rush to get his hands on you. he rubbed your bare thighs, caressing higher up, thumb catching onto the hem of your panties.

"you said i can do whatever i want, right? i'm gonna hold you to that, we might not even leave this bedroom," he says casually, not noticing your flushed expression as he continues to ramble, "you don't know how long i've wanted this. haven't seen you for days." he hisses. "ever since i kissed you, i've been thinking about your lips since."

you wrap you arms around his neck quickly, tipping your head to the side the second his lips touched your collarbone.

his admittance had your mind hazing with a heavy blanket of need and want. words started spilling out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself. you whispered desperately, "me too..! i can't stop thinking about you.. so much to the point where it's hindering my work.. why'd you take so long to come and see me?"

blade's control is wearing thin at your whiny voice, he groans out, "my job doesn't really give me leeway. but god, i wanted to see you so bad, you don't even know." he leaves light butterfly kisses from your neck to your jaw, his thumb rubbing circles into the skin of your thigh.

then he tugs at the hem of your shirt. "i want this off, too." next thing you know, the only thing covering you are your undergarments, but you could tell from the way he kept caressing you near your panties that those would soon join the pile.

once he threw your top aside, you bring his face to yours, instantly interlocking your lips. it was the first time you took initiation and blade couldn't help but smile into the kiss. his hand ventures higher, hands intentionally swiping over the place you needed him most before pulling back to caress your hips.

you grunt into the kiss in irritation, trying to pull his body closer to you to get that friction you crave.

blade notices, and wants to tease you more than anything, but he couldn't deny how much he missed you. once you finally let him kiss you, he swore he couldn't get enough. had you not avoided him for a good two weeks he could've had moments like this with you before his work swept him away. and going two more weeks without you made it even worse. blade could only think of how it was true that distance certainly did make the heart grow fonder.

blade uses his kiss with you as a distraction and slips his finger past your undergarments to finally touch you where you craved. you instantly pull away from the kiss with a gasp, your back arching up slightly as you whined aloud.

"so pretty." blade muttered, placing kisses on your shoulder before pulling away to watch your expressions. he could feel how his erection tightened his pants uncomfortably at the mere sight of you drowning in pleasure. "another expression to add to my list." he whispers, eyeing your face with a carnal, predatory hunger.

blade slides one finger into you and stares at the way you twitch and thrash. "w—waaait..!!" you moaned, trying your hardest to catch your breath. he ignores your pleas and speeds up the pace, slowly adding in a second finger.

with your reactions, he could tell how sensitive you were. he could only grin and think about how fun teasing you in future will be.

blade curled his fingers in a way that had you keening and flailing, trying to kick him away. he put a hand on your abdomen to still you. "nnn...noo..! if you.. hngg.. keep doing that... i'm- i'm definitely soaking the sheets..." you whimpered in a whispery voice. in response to you, he starts rubbing your clit in circular motions, your cries becoming louder.

"promise?" he kissed your cheek.

you whined more and blade buried his face in your neck, conveniently placing his ear right by your mouth. a perfect place to hear your noises at full volume. that was before you decided to go and try to cover your mouth.

the muffled noise of your cries let him know what you were trying to do immediately. he sits up to glare down at you, slowing down the pace of his fingers.

“w—what..?” you cry out, confused.

“let me hear you. if you do that again, i stop,” his voice is commanding and it has your legs trembling. you obey him easily. helplessly under his mercy, and remove your hands from your face.

“good.”

he leans down to kiss your face and continues his previous pace. you cry out in relief, feeling your peak climbing its way up.

"you'd look so pretty wrapped around me, you know?" he speaks into your skin. you whimper at that.

the rhythm of his fingers made you a moaning mess, you couldn't help but thrash and kick, the pleasure all too overwhelming— but it still wasn't enough. you desperately needed what he had hiding behind his zipper.

"cum for me..." he coos softly into your ear, voice condescending yet fond at the same time.

"i— i want..."

"i know..." he cuts you off, "i'll stuff you with my cock like you want, just cum on my fingers first." he rasps, letting you know he was enjoying this just as much as you.

he curls the pads of his finger against a certain spot that makes you jerk in his hold. a loud moan leaves your lips and you try your hardest to push him away. blade doesn't give you the chance, keeping you stilled against the bed, thrusting into you even faster. your vision goes white and the brunt of your orgasm hits you full force, you whine loudly and try your best to push blade away, weakly hitting his forearm with your fist. he helps you ride out your orgasm by rubbing your bud, watching you with a hot, burning desire. his control is on the verge of snapping. if you keep making these noises and faces he can't guarantee he'll continue being gentle with you.

"haa...hahh.." you pant loudly, chest rising up and down. “dammit, i definitely ruined that pair.”

you're too distracted to notice blade undressing himself, only opening your eyes to look at him once you hear the unbuckling of his belt.

"blade..." you cry.

he hushes you with his lips, adjusting your position once his bottoms are off— joining the pile of your clothes. you squeak at the sudden breeze of cold air once blade starts sliding your garment down your legs.

“you’re so soaked. fuck.” he mutters breathily, eyes dark. your cunt pulses at the realization that his expression isn’t only because of lust but also him trying his hardest to hold himself back.

you’re both surprised and slightly disgusted with yourself because you’re aware that if he were to snap and be extremely rough with you, you wouldn’t mind— you’d even enjoy it.

“i said you could do whatever you wanted with me, right?” you lean up and unclasp your bra, tossing it aside— you’d usually be humiliated by such boldness, but you were too busy reveling in blade’s awed expression— for once it felt like you one-upped him.

“i suggest you watch your tongue.” he grumbles, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. you’re obviously riling him up, and enjoying it to the fullest.

“but i need it, blade. you promised you’d give me your cock, didn’t you?” you whined, fully aware of your effect on him.

he huffs, shoving you down on the bed to loom over you again, before hissing, “remember who has the authority here.”

you only smirked cockily, a face blade could admit that he really liked. “well maybe you need to remind me,” you say cheekily.

blade, in response, pulls his cock out of his boxers, and it shuts you up immediately; the mere sight of it. he caught sight of your eyes glued to his length and could only smirk.

“maybe i didn’t need to remind you.” the words of ‘you reminded yourself’ went unsaid, but you both knew.

he leans down to interlock your lips and starts grinding himself against you.

there’s no way that’ll fit!! you screamed internally, it’s not like you were inexperienced, but you can say with confidence you’ve never laid with someone so well endowed.

your mind hazes as his tongue delves into your mouth, and you can’t bring yourself to worry.

the tip of his cock catches your clit and you both groan.

“stop teasing.” you complain, brows knitting together.

blade pulls away to pump himself a couple times before finally lining himself up to your slit. he sets a heavy finger right above your belly button, pressing it into your skin.

you eye the indent he creates in confusion. you try to catch his eyes but he can’t seem to pull his gaze away from where his finger is placed.

“here.”

“huh?”

“i’ll be right here.” he taps the spot again as if solidify his words into reality. you flush once you realize his implications, and as much as you wanted to knock him down a peg, you knew he was probably right. with how big he was you’d probably be able to feel him in your throat. your breaths become labored at the idea of it all, anxiously waiting for him to fill you like he promised.

“give me a safe word.” he says, voice guttural.

“red!” not only did it mean stop in a lot of circumstances, but it also reminded you of his eyes.

with that being said, he pushes himself into you, burying himself in to the hilt. your eyes roll back and you grip his biceps to ground yourself.

“you can take all of me, right?” he asks huskily, grabbing your hips for leverage and setting his forehead against yours.

“i can i can, i can!!” you chant out dizzily, on cloud nine from this alone.

“good.. so good for me.” he whispers through gritted teeth. he pulls out till the tip, groaning at the harsh resistance. it’s either you were too tight or he was too big. he assumes it’s because you’re squeezing the life out of him but you’re guessing otherwise.

he abruptly thrusts all the way back in, slamming you against his pelvis. you jerk in his hold, tears lining your bottom lashes as you sob loudly.

blade repeats the process, but this time with more ferocity. your mouth waters at the intensity of it all, eyes rolled back to your brain. he catches your expression and decides he won’t have mercy on you as he previously insisted.

the only thing leaving your lips is a mantra of his name as he starts a rhythm. he doesn’t spare you a single breath, his own lungs drying up and in desperate need for air— because he’s just so deep.

he slams into you harshly, your clit rubbing onto his pelvis with each grind into you, your sobs resonate through the room and your legs twitch violently.

“fuuuckkk! blade blade, blade!! cant! i cant.. i— nnnn!!” your nails dig into the muscles of his arms, making crescent shaped dents.

“you can. you promised, right? you’ll cum for me just like this, right sweetheart?” he coos condescendingly.

the mean tone of his voice is lost on you, for all you can think about is the term of endearment— you squeeze him harder.

“shitttt.” blade groans at the sensation. he grabs your face desperately, locking lips with you to hide his noises. it’s a sloppy kiss, your own drool slipping down your chin. you can’t even focus on the raunchiness of it all, the way he slams down into you— tip of his cock kissing your cervix— you can’t bother to think of anything else. you moan breathily into the kiss, hands gravitating to blade’s back to let your nails make their mark there.

“you like that, huh? when i call you sweet names? tell me you like it, baby,” he says, lidded eyes trained on you.

“i love it!”

his hand travels between your bodies to make circular motions on your clit, other hand massaging your breast, and you swear you see white. squeaky little ‘blade blade, blade!’s come out of your puffy, swollen lips.

“want me to cum inside you? give you my kids.. let them keep you company while i’m gone. you’d like that, yeah?” he pulls away from you slightly to babble senselessly— his mind mush, and mouth running on auto pilot. his words set a fire off inside you, and the knot in your tummy tightens further, on the brink of snapping.

“yes yes, yes!” you sob, your nails raking up and down his back.

“course you’d like that. look at you, my little cocksleeve. you were made to take my cock, admit it.” he grabs your face with one hand, squishing your face together. your moans take on a different tone at his degrading.

“i was.. ohhhh— i—” you couldn’t even finish, the tip of his cock kissing and stroking your sweet spot. blade doesn’t like your lack of answer, so his hips slow their pace, dropping to mere strokes.

“n—no, what..?” you blink out of your daze, your pleasure riddled mind slowly coming to.

“answer me, i asked you a question.”

desperate to get the pleasure you were quickly becoming addicted to, you obey his needs without another word.

“i’m your cocksleeve! i was made just to take your cock. so please! use me!” you cry out in little to no hesitation.

“fuck.” he mumbles. before you can exhale you’re immediately inhaling from the shock of his abrupt, sharp speed. he’s drilling into you harshly, lifting your legs and arching your back to hit your sweet spot with each thrust. his thumb finds your clit and your mind instantly blanks.

the quickness of it all quickly overwhelms you and your orgasm climbs the ladder with quick succession. you’re sobbing now, nails making red lines on his back as he pounds into you.

you can feel him in your stomach. and you knew if you were able to keep your eyes open, you’d be able to see it too.

“please let me cum, i wanna cum!” you cry out brainlessly.

“fuck. fuuckkk. cum, pretty thing. cum on my cock so i can cum deep inside you.” he buries his face in your neck, kissing dark purple blemishes into your skin.

his voice does you in, the roughness of it all, and the fact that he sounds just as wrecked as you. you’re only able to give a whiny warning of, “cumming— i’m cumming!! ohh god!!” before you finally burst. your body convulses brutally and you squeeze blade in a vice grip, punching out a guttural groan from him.

the feeling has blade reaching his peak before he can even compose himself. his hips stutter and he’s slamming into you, gripping your hips harshly — which will definitely leave bruises— and his finger rubs your clit to help you ride out your high.

“fuck fuck, fuck. fuuuckk. i’m gonna fill you up just like you want. make you round with my kids. gonna give it all to you. you’ll take it, right? you’ll take it all, i just know it,” he chants, mind blank.

“please, blade— ohhh goddd, please fill me up!!” you sob, tears running down your cheeks.

one last slam of his hips has him filling you up to the brim. more more, more— until his burning hot cum squelches out of you and drips onto the sheets. it prolongs your orgasm and you’re whining at the feeling. small praises leave blade’s lips as he leaves small kisses all over you.

he sits up and slowly pulls out of you, watching, entranced, as all of his cum slowly seeps out. with an empty mind that’s only filled with the image of you, he puts his fingers in your cunt to plug you up and prevent anything else from draining out.

a spike of pain and pleasure shoot through you. your mind starts clearing and you squeal, “hey!!”

he meets your gaze, eyes your messy form, and says simply, “sorry.” he pulls away.

blade hated that you looked so good that way. your body riddled with sweat, brows furrowed, lips pouted (that expression he loved so much), and hair mussed all over your pillows.

you can’t tear your eyes away from how he stares at you. this time, you notice the fondness that swim in his irises and your tummy flutters. your lips curl into a sweet smile and you speak to sweep away your embarrassment, “you’re really obsessed with me.”

blade’s eyes widen, and you assume it’s because of your words; but you couldn’t be any more wrong.

this is the first time you’ve smiled like that in his presence. he couldn’t deny that he loved your other faces, whether it be anger, prideful, lust, you name it. but this one… it was definitely his new favorite.

you predicted he’d say something along the lines of, “i am.” and make you further embarrassed. but if anything, he said the opposite.

“spread your legs.” he orders simply.

you blink at him, noticing his eyes that filled with desire once more.

“y—you can’t be serious!!!”

taglist : @chalksdreams @bloo-wisteria @maddymints09 @just-simping-over-genshin @xiaowatching @sunsethw4 @caesadele @forsh4dow @i-x4o @shrimp-anon some of u i couldn’t tag sorryyyyy ☹️

#blade honkai star rail x reader #blade hsr #blade hsr x reader #honkai star rail blade x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr blade x reader #hsr x reader #blade honkai star rail #blade smut #blade hsr smut #hsr blade smut #hsr blade #cloud knight!reader #blade x reader #🃏; saturn.writes

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rita-repulsa-ke · 10 days ago

Text

a tentative peace

"You can't run from Death forever, Agatha."

"You know, when other people say that, they're generally just revealing themselves to be weak cowards, willing to accept being the toy of higher powers. And then there's you, my obsessed stalker."

"It's still true. When they say it, when I say it. Death comes for everyone in the end."

"The end?! Try every other day! I'd love to see Death the way other mortals do, exactly one time. Instead, I have to deal with you popping up every time I turn my head."

"You love seeing me. You love me. You adore me."

"Ha! I want to never, ever see your face again. But you know what, Rio? I'd settle for this. When I die, you can come and get me. Until then, I'd like to stop running from Death. I'd like to be able to do other things, without my psychopathic ex-girlfriend showing up every few days to try and ruin my life."

"Hey, you admitted I'm your girlfriend."

"Ex!"

"That's still something, for you. You know I'm not going anywhere, Agatha. I'll be with you forever."

"Then I can and I will run forever, if I have to."

"You were going to anyway. You were always afraid of what I am. That was part of the thrill, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Rio, I was always going to run from Death. The difference now is that I want to run from you."

"…Ags…"

"What? We can still fix this? I still love you? Or is this one of those days when you get fed up and try to kill me? We both know you can't! It isn't my time, it would be a defiance of the natural order, that concept you love more than you ever loved me—"

"I gave you more than I have ever given—"

"You gave me nothing!"

"…Maybe today is one of those days when I try to kill you."

"Good. Suits me."

"…"

"Well? Come on then. You can at least get a few good hits in and maybe so can I. I've been working on a new spell—"

"Tell me about it?"

"About the spell I'm going to use to try and cause you paroxysms of anguish?"

"Yes. Did you invent it?"

"Yes—well, technically no, it's modified from a tome by one of the older Sorcerer Supremes, but the way she wrote was so incomprehensible that it's like the way people used to write recipes, no measurements, more of a guide than anything, so I had to adapt quite heavily and then it's meant to work on spirits, not whatever you are, but I think I've got a version that should be generally applicable to all supernatural—hey. Aren't we supposed to be fighting to the near-death?"

"I like listening to you talk about it, though."

"…Ugh. Gross."

"I mean, do we have to?"

"Have to what?"

"Fight today. Can't you just finish telling me about your spell of unbelievable agony and then get distracted by realizing there's a way to do it better or differently, like you always do?"

"…I do not always do that."

"No. Only most of the time."

"…Fine. Just this once, though. I don't want this to become a habit. And only because it is a really interesting spell."

"…You're going to try it on me when you think I'm not paying attention, aren't you?"

"Probably. I mean, what's the point of having invented it if I don't get to try it out?"

"All right. I'll even let you. But you have to sit down and finish telling me about it first."

"It's not really fun if you let me."

"I'll pretend to act shocked by your sudden, completely unexpected betrayal?"

"Are you any good at acting?"

"I'm great at it. I act human all the time."

"Yes, but you're terrible at that."

"What?!"

"When was the last time you took a breath?"

"…Oh. I forgot again. I can't believe you all have to do that constantly."

"You see what I mean?"

"Well, if you time it right, I really will be surprised to suddenly go from pleasant conversation to—not yet!"

"No? But you were just getting lulled into a false sense of security."

"Too early. Your timings all wrong."

"It isn't and you know it. You just don't want this to end."

"…I don't. A little more? Please?"

"Sure. Where was I? The Sorcerer Supreme's instructions. So I took the general guidelines of what she'd written, which was a really interesting treatise on torturing spirits, she was not one of the nicer people to hold that position and—spiritus coruscent!"

"Oh look, betrayal."

"…That isn't hurting you, huh?"

"Doesn't seem to be. Very pretty effect, though. All these little sparkles."

"Where did I go wrong…"

"Hey, Agatha."

"Mm?"

"You know what does hurt?"

"What? Oh, yes, I see, you have a knife. Very original."

"It gets the point across. …Get it?"

"…I'm sorry every day that I ever taught you what a pun was."

"You're about to be sorry for more than that."

"Wait, wait, wait!"

"Why?"

"…Help me diagnose what went wrong with the spell first?"

"The agony-inducing spell?"

"That's the one."

"So you can make sure it induces agony on me next time?"

"Yes—hey, there's no need for that! I have organs there!"

"You'll heal. I promise. It isn't your time, remember?"

"But consider—if you help me fix the spell, you get to sit around and watch me tinker with magic instead of us trying to kill each other. Wouldn't that be better?"

"…Okay."

"Good. Great. That's settled then. And no one even had to get stabbed."

"You know you're such a coward when you're losing?"

"What makes you think I'm losing?"

"…what?"

"Nothing. Now, going back to first principles—"

Go read the Ritual of the Rose, now up to Chapter 3, for more Agatha/Rio ex-girlfriend shenanigans or The Present for something angstier

#agatha all along #agathario #agatha x rio #Agatha just cannot make things easy

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huanzhuyulu · 2 years ago

Video

youtube

While procrastinating on fic writing, as one does, I stumbled on this short but hilarious recap of HZGG2, which led me to more hilarious recaps of HZGG1 that you should read if you want a laugh: here

Some choice excerpts that made me laugh, mostly for the ON POINT observations on Er Kang’s drama queen tendencies:

Now, all the hiking and mountain climbing is too much for Ziwei after a while, so she gives up halfway and tells Xiaoyanzi to go ahead without her because she is just slowing them down.

By the way, those dangling hairs on either side of Ziwei’s head — not a good look. In fact, maybe that’s what’s slowing her down.

The Fu family gather again to decide what to do. For a head guard and an older brother, Er’kang is pretty hot-headed. He considers taking the matter to light without much reservation. Er’tai has a better idea, why don’t they bring the Yongqi (5th Prince) here and tell him the truth? The chance of people getting beheaded is lower that way.

Yongqi and Er’tai come to see Xiaoyanzi again; this time, she admits to lying to the emperor.

Yongqi is like, OH MY GOD What were you thinking? Pack your thing, we’re getting you outta here.

And Er’tai is like, how are we gonna explain to people if they find a princess missing, calm the freak down, you two.

Xiaoyanzi wonders in tears whether the emperor would really execute her if he found out the truth.

YONGQI & ER’TAI: *nod in unison* Yep, girl, he would.

Ziwei is shocked to learn NOW that Xiaoyanzi was shot by an arrow and mortally wounded. She breaks into tears and asks why no one bothered to tell her.

YONGQI: Really? You didn’t know?

ER’TAI: I thought Er’kang told you.

ER’KANG: I thought Er’tai told you.

Yep, so Ziwei beat herself up with worry and torment about Xiaoyanzi for days because these guys forgot to give her the one crucial piece of information in this mystery. By the way, I can understand why Er’tai thought Er’kang already told her, but why would Er’kang think that Er’tai told Ziwei anything at all? When has Er’tai ever hung out with Ziwei?

But even with his panicky earnest confession, Ziwei still says no. Er’kang is a nobleman, and he is not free to arrange his own marriage. It doesn’t matter if he likes her. I’ve got to say that for a fragile and sheltered girl with little life experience, Ziwei is incredibly clear-headed, a lot more than the guys and Xiaoyanzi combined.

He storms away and to Xiaoyanzi, who is throwing a tantrum. She’s angry and still in shock that the emperor could be that scary. After some explanation and feeble reprimanding, the emperor throws in the towel and says Xiaoyanzi can quit her manners classes. This must be his first attempt at any kind of parenting at all. Although, if the teacher is Nanny Rong, I’d say having no education is better.

By the way, I should point out that whenever Ziwei and Erkang talk, above is their favorite position: Ziwei standing in the front looking like someone is dying and Er’kang in the back ready to unleash some passionate declaration no one is ready for.

Er’kang says he is willing to leave everything and run away with her. Ziwei turns that down, saying that it would be irresponsible. Maybe men who abandon duty for romance turn her off. She is her mother’s daughter, after all.

When Ziwei is sure she has got the emperor hooked, she throws out one of the things her mother used to say: My mother spent all her life waiting for something that never happened, but she was grateful for it nonetheless; without it, her life would have been meaningless.

EMPEROR: *Why do orphan girls whose moms died tragically keep finding me?*

Xiaoyanzi takes this chance to bash unfaithful men. And the emperor is like, yeah yeah you’re still mad about your mom, I said I’m sorry already, what else do you want from me, kid?

The emperor adds that since Xiaoyanzi likes the Fu family so much, he can let her have Er’kang. Xiaoyanzi trips and falls at this, and I’m pretty sure Er’kang’s soul gets sucked out of his body for a second.

At night, they watch the emperor and Ziwei play chess, which, I guess, is the equivalence of Netflix at this time.

Xiaoyanzi still prioritizes shouting at Yongqi and Yongqi kisses her to shut her up. She pushes him aside and hops away. That is the most hilarious attempt to be romantic I’ve ever seen from a male lead. The whole thing is so funny I can’t even fault Yongqi for jumping in like that.

The next day, Er’kang is bitter about the fact that the emperor has been tending to Ziwei. You see, he thinks it should be him who sits next to Ziwei right now. Er’kang is like that one drama viewer who refuses to accept that this is a lot more than a romance.

#还珠格格 #huan zhu ge ge #hzgg #cdrama #princess pearl #princess returning pearl #meta

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raeuberprinzessin · 1 year ago

Text

Making Amends - Forgotten - Prompt 17, Chapter 26

@felixmonth, @stainedglassm

Summary: For Felix Month 2021 - beware, the chapters are not in chronological order^^

When Felix loses a bet with his cousin, he has to make amends with Adrien’s friends. Well, at least this provides a good excuse to spent a lot of time with Adrien’s “very good friend”, a certain designer, who may or may not be described as tolerable … or cute. This may not be so bad. Yeah, not bad at all.

AO3 | Masterlist

Prompts: First | Previous | Next

Chapters: First | Previous | Next

Felix stared at his notes and blinked slowly. Could it really be? He leaned forward and once more read through his checklist and all the details he had jotted down up until this point.

He turned around to look for his apprentice and when he spotted him, he excused himself and walked over to the table he and Mylene sat at.

"Sorry to interrupt. Ivan, could you take a look at this? I can't help myself, I feel as if I have forgotten something," he explained and placed everything in front of the other boy. Ivan let go of Mylene who he had embraced right before Felix had come over. He as well as his girlfriend leaned over the papers, the notebook, and the tablet.

"I can't see anything you might have forgotten. As far as I can tell, you've thought of everything. The venue, the catering, the personnel, the guests," he listed and pushed everything back over to Felix. "I don't know what might be missing. Maybe you forgot something else? Is there any birthday you should have remembered?"

Felix shook his head. There were only very few people whose birthday was important to him on a personal level. His grandparents' assistants took care of everyone important for business reasons and told him when he had to sign a present.

"What about Sabrina?" Mylene suddenly asked. Both boys gave her a confused look. "Sabrina?" he finally probed when she failed to offer any more explanation.

"Yeah, your bet with Adrien, you remember? As far as I can tell, you already did something for everyone else, except for Sabrina."

Mylene was correct. He had mentally put a check behind the punishment for the bet and completely forgotten that there was still one last person. He probably didn't remember, because Sabrina was always around Chloe and didn't seem to have much personality beyond her role as Chloe's sidekick. He felt a bit ashamed to admit, he had unconsciously not considered her as her own person.

"I think that might be it. Thank you, Mylene for reminding me. I shall go and correct this immediately," he announced, packed his stuff and turned to leave.

"Need help with that?" Ivan called after him and Felix gave him a small shake of his head over his shoulder. "Probably, but I really should at least try first. Pray that Chloe doesn't annoy me enough for me to do something reckless. We really need that venue."

***

Chloe Bourgeois was undoubtedly the most obnoxious, annoying, insufferable, infuriating, immature, horrible, despicable, outrageously vile brat to ever walk the face of the earth! At least this was Felix's very objective opinion.

Marinette had been pretty confused when he had stormed into her room and exclaimed, "Calm me down or I'm afraid you'll have to de-akumatize me because I'm done and more than willing to end that scion of a mangy mutt and a hornet!"

Marinette didn't hesitate and only a moment later Felix found himself lying on the chaise lounge with his head bedded on Marinette's lap. She hummed softly and gently brushed with her fingers through his hair. It was a heavenly feeling and Felix felt himself calm down and his eyes closed almost instantly. This was nice. Maybe he should get enraged more often if this was the payout.

For a few minutes, he simply didn't think of anything and just enjoyed being spoiled by his not-quite-yet-but-maybe-hopefully-soon-girlfriend. He planned to officially ask her at the gala after her show. She would have a bit more time then since everything would be over and the holidays would start only a week later. He wished he could invite her to stay at one of his family's estates, maybe the one he taught her horseback riding at. But he realised that she would rather stay in Paris and not leave for several weeks, even though she could use the horse miraculous to come back at any time.

"Do you want to tell me what happened that got you so upset?" she finally asked. Felix didn't reply right away. The sensation of her fingernails scratching gently over his scalp was extremely distracting. "Chloe Bourgeois has to be my most formidable foe," he finally answered, "which I feel insulted by since she's everything but formidable."

"Ah," he could hear Marinette's amused smile in her voice, he didn't need to see it, but he opened his eyes to sneak a glimpse nonetheless, "your arch-nemesis." Felix snorted at that. "Chloe isn't important enough to be an arch nemesis, more like a minor antagonist. She's a nuisance."

"I wouldn't have thought that a nuisance would be capable of getting you this riled up," she teased. But since she didn't stop her ministations Felix didn't mind. "I'd say Gabriel is my arch nemesis. And one day I will deal him a fatal blow."

"No murdering your uncle," Marinette stipulated, but didn't comment on this any further. Instead, she started to gently tug on his hair. "If I'm done with Hawk Moth before you're done with Gabriel, I'll even help you."

"I don't need to murder him. I just want him to suffer and regret everything he did to Adrien, my aunt and my family. I'll get a lot more satisfaction out of that." He didn't want to create a martyr. Adrien would never be free of Gabriel’s ghost if he died too soon, he would always feel morally obligated to do what his father would expect of him.

"So, Chloe made herself a nuisance. How exactly did she provoke your anger this time?" Felix sighed and tried to sit up, but Marinette just raised a brow and he obediently relaxed again.

“Today I was reminded that there is still one classmate left before I can call my punishment finished. I completely forgot that Sabrina is her own person and not simply an extension of Chloe,” he recounted his earlier revelation. Marinette just hummed in understanding and continued with her almost rhythmical tugging. “I went to talk to Sabrina, but thanks to Chloe I had no chance to have a conversation. Sabrina didn’t dare to acknowledge me after Chloe told her to act as if I was not there. In the end, Chloe even said I should do something else for her since that’s what Sabrina would want. And I really don’t want to do anything else for her.”

“Understandable. Sabrina might be the hardest person to do something nice for. Of course, the nicest thing would be distance to Chloe, so both of them can do some growing on their own, but you and I know that that’s not going to happen. And I don’t think Sabrina would call that as doing something nice either.” Marinette lifted one hand and rummaged around in some box on the desk. “But I think there is still something that can be done. And since Sabrina is especially hard, I’ll help you.”

"You will? Thank you! I have no-" Felix had sat up and stopped when he caught himself in the mirror and the strands of hair Marinette still held between her fingers.

"Did … did you braid my hair?" he asked bewildered. Marinette leaned forward and fixed the small braid with the hairpin she had just pulled out of the box on her desk and whispered, "I regret nothing."

***

“We could have met him at your place.”

“We could have. But the probability of Sabrina and Chloe coming here is zero,” Marinette retorted. She took a step back and gave the coffee table in his parlour a critical once-over. After a moment she stepped over to the floor-to-ceiling window and pulled a small side table over, so it would stand slightly to the left while she opened the right wing of the window. Felix observed her pulling the sheer curtain back over the opened half of the window, so it would blow in the gentle late spring breeze. Finally, she turned around and took the vase with the fresh flower bouquet she insisted on buying and placed it on the side table instead of the coffee table. Afterwards, she rearranged the pastries.

“The coffee table looked too cluttered,” she explained when she caught his perplexed face. This made him snort, “Well, you plundered half of the bakery display.”

“Most of that was for your mom and Ines for using your apartment for the meeting. At least a little compensation for the trouble. I know what Officer Raincomprix prefers, after all, he’s a regular at our bakery.”

Felix made the wise decision to not engage any further in this argument. Marinette had promised to help him with his last atonement and he knew how much she cared for details and perfection. And he also knew how she could get a bit snappish when there wasn’t anything else she could prepare to ensure said perfection. He was glad that he was one of the few people she felt comfortable enough around to not mask her nervousness with a grimace of a smile. And a snappish Marinette was still better for her than a spiralling Marinette. He could deal with that.

A knock sounded and after Marinette called Ines, their housekeeper opened the door to let them know that Officer Raincomprix had arrived.

“Thank you, Ines. Please let him enter.” Felix stood up again to step next to Marinette who now had a pleasant smile on her lips. Sabrina’s father stepped into the room and the housekeeper closed the door behind him.

“Thank you so much for coming, Officer Raincomprix,” Marinette immediately greeted him. Felix came up next to her to shake the hand of his guest.

“Please take a seat. Would you prefer coffee or tea or something else?” Felix asked. He fell effortlessly into the role of a host, after all, he had several lessons teaching him etiquette.

“Coffee, please. Black,” the man added after a moment. He seemed a bit nervous and awkward as he eyed the pastries but didn’t dare to take one.

“Feel free to help yourself to some pastries,” he offered the man after filling his cup with coffee. After serving the guest he filled Marinette’s cup with coffee but left enough space so she could fill it with some milk and sugar, although he knew she wouldn’t add the horrendous amount she usually preferred. It was unbecoming to add too much sugar when the drink wasn’t prepared in private.

He filled his own cup with black tea and added a splash of milk.

“You wanted to talk about Sabrina?” the man opened the conversation. He had a croissant on his plate but besides putting it there he hadn’t touched it or his coffee. Marinette paused in stirring her cup of coffee, then put her spoon down and gave Officer Raincomprix a reassuring smile.

“Sabrina is not in trouble, Officer Raincomprix. I asked you here on behalf of Felix.” She tilted her head slightly in his direction and he nodded. “Felix joined the class several weeks ago and on his first day, he lost a bet. The price for losing that bet was to do something nice for every member of the class. The only one, he hasn’t done anything for yet is Sabrina. Since she is always around Chloe Felix hasn’t been able to get to know her like the other classmates, which is why I asked you here. Maybe you could tell him a bit about Sabrina or something that would make her happy?”

The man seemed to relax at that. More than that, he seemed exceptionally excited about the opportunity to talk about his daughter and Felix could easily see how much he adored her. He learned that Roger Raincomprix had raised his daughter mostly on his own. Sabrina’s mother, a woman going by the name of Cecile Morel, was a successful ballet dancer. Whenever she was in Paris she would call, but she usually had engagements elsewhere.

“Cecile loves Sabrina. I know this and I’m sure Sabrina knows, too. But she is also very free-spirited and needs to roam and amaze people with her talent all around the globe. She would wilt away if she had to stay put. It wasn’t easy to tell her to follow her passion, but back then we were constantly fighting and that was even worse for Sabrina.”

"Do you think Sabrina misses her mother?" Marinette asked in a gentle voice. Felix didn't contribute a lot to the conversation. He preferred to listen and think. He probably wouldn't be able to convince Sabrina's mother to stay, going by what her father told them. But maybe it was a possibility to at least bring her back regularly? Although Felix's preferred profession was acting for movies and television shows, he had some contacts in the field of theatre and stage performance. But his idea would take some time. Getting someone a recurring engagement at the state ballet would be hard. Potentially even harder than getting someone a spot on the ensemble. He couldn't decide that. Marinette and he would only be able to use their influence to heavily encourage the artistic director to engage Sabrina's mother more often.

"I think she misses her at least a bit, but she usually doesn't talk about her a lot," the man replied. Marinette nodded. "I can imagine. I had no idea until now that her mother is a professional dancer, but I know that Sabrina would like to join the dance club at school. I once heard her and Chloe talk about that."

Felix noticed Marinette's suddenly stormy look. She had a lot more patience with Chloe than he did, but it still angered her that one word from the mayor's daughter would deter Sabrina from doing something she wanted to do.

Officer Raincomprix nodded slowly. "I am glad she has a friend," he started, "and I also think that Chloe needs a friend. I'm just questioning whether this friend has to be my Sabrina. I just hope Sabrina finds new friends at the lycée. Maybe some friends who won't simply override her wishes. I already know that she and Chloe will go to different schools. That was a huge discussion at home, but the deciding factor was that she wants to study law to become a judge one day."

After that, there wasn't much new information and finally, Officer Raincomprix announced that he had to leave.

"Please take some pastries with you. I have seen Sabrina eye the raspberry vanilla and the honeydew macarons the last time I've seen her at our bakery. Maybe you would like to take a few so she can try them?" Marinette offered, playing the perfect host once more. The man thanked her and packed a few macarons, a croissant and a pain au chocolat into a box. They accompanied him to the door and returned to the parlour to discuss what they learned.

"So, I assume you won't try to get her an internship with one of your lawyers?” Marinette placed a mocha macaron in front of him and arranged the leftover sweets in a way nobody could tell that some were already missing.

“It would have to do something with law, but considering how her father talked about it, I’m led to believe that her reason for pursuing a law degree is a yearning for justice and not the fine art of verbal and psychological warfare our lawyers practise. If that was something she liked she probably would have no issue asserting herself against Chloe.” Felix shook his head. “No, I would like to try to give her the chance to spend more time with her mother. But I think I might need your help for this.”

He looked at her and Marinette sat down and let him know to continue.

“I was thinking that maybe we could invite her mother to dance at the gala after the fashion show. If I remember correctly the artistic director of the Parisian State Ballet is a guest as well as the director of the Parisian Institute for the Performing Arts. Of course, we can’t make either of them engage her or make her take a possible offer. But we could mention to the art director how awed we are by her talent and how disappointing it is that she isn’t performing in Paris more often and maybe the director of the institute would consider engaging her as a guest lecturer.”

Marinette tilted her head slightly and nodded slowly.

“Try to contact her. Ask her if she would be willing to perform at the gala and tell her that of course she would be invited to the silent auction and the fashion show before the gala as well. You can mention that Sabrina and her father would also be invited. If I heard correctly she doesn’t necessarily try to avoid her daughter, she just finds work more often elsewhere. And since it’s already a bit on short notice, this might convince her. If your mother doesn’t want you to use your staff to fly her in or your money to buy her a plane ticket and a hotel room if she wants to stay at a hotel, I know my family would be fine with it. I’m sure you can make all the necessary arrangements.”

She stood up and stretched a bit. “Do you think you need more help from me?” she asked. Felix shook his head and stood up, too. “I think I’m fine and can do everything else,” he told her and pulled her for a half-hug into his side. “Thank you for helping me with this. I would have had no idea how to go about Sabrina.” He leaned over and gave her a small peck on her cheek. The smaller girl looked up at him and gave him a self-satisfied grin. “You’re welcome!” she smirked, returned the peck and then stepped out of his hug to take the two massive plates full of sweets and pastries.

“Now, eat your macaron! I made a batch of mocha macarons, especially for you,” she ordered and left the room. If someone asked him later how she opened the door although both her hands were occupied by heavy plates, he wouldn’t be able to answer. And Marinette would try to prevent anyone from revealing her mysteries.

“Amelie, Ines! Would you like some sweets?” he heard her call as he bit into the mocha macaron and enjoyed the mix of bitter and sweet flavours on his tongue.

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #felix graham de vanily #felinette #felinette fanfic #felix month 2021 #marinette x felix #rich!marinette #felix redemption #bamf marinette #Hexxe: Making Amends

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mdhwrites · 2 years ago

Note

what are your thoughts on luz insisting on calling philip 'belos'? as a trans person it felt like a weird decision cause he specifically asked to be called philip. what makes it worse is he is depicted as an evil monster/irredeemable for being so "two-faced" which is not great when he says something that most definitely does not sound cis

i'm inclined to believe this wasn't intentional malice on the part of the show writers cause honestly they probably forgot he said that or just didn't put too much thought into the dialogue when they were writing it. regardless it still came off as slightly irritating to me. i like ur takes so im curious what u think

So first I just want to throw out that despite the fact that I'm pushing myself more and more to be inclusive, transgender identity and characters is one of those things I'm not comfortable doing myself. I still argue with myself about a joke with Daina in Rich Witch that has spoiler explanations/justifications. It's not because I'm anti-trans either. Trans rights are human rights. Period. But like… There's a reason Juro Rigged Pets, literally started the day I chose to stop watching TOH or close to that, is a converted fic because I want to use the community as a soundboard for not fucking up with my first enby character because Luz is non-binary in that one.

And if you're going "Wait, why are you okay with writing sapphics then?" Well, my personal reasoning is that I see love as love and that that emotion is fairly universal, even if the expression is going to change due to gender. There is still an emotional in for me to write them, I've been exposed to a LOT more sapphic emotions and talking than I have anything about trans identity and in general I just like writing and hanging out with girls more. Not even from a "Hurr hurr, I'm a straight white dude" perspective but more from a "I like that these people seem to be capable of being more mature, emotional and honest than a lot of the guys my age seem to be." I literally spent lunch most of the time in High School with only girls around me. I just don't know if I have a comfortable, emotional in when it comes to gender identity. While identity is universal, questioning one's gender and how people treat you about it is not. It's just not the same from my perception as a feeling like love. Is that maybe small minded me? Maybe. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like the best I can do in a situation is admit my own ignorance and hope I learn to do better in the future. My ears are always open though to try and learn and understand better.

I say all of this because… Well I don't think I have a lot to say about your ask. I mostly agree. It's not meant to have any active malice to it even if it's a dick move by Luz. If we're charitable, it's meant to be reinforcing the point Luz makes in that scene about Belos wanting to be called a human name when he has clearly thrown away his humanity for his goals.

Which… I don't like in general. Yes, he is monstrous and has magic but it's really the only time they make the case and Belos still identifies as human more than he identifies as magical. If they were willing to interrogate it more, it'd be a cool recognition of the use of religion and the like to say you have noble goals while being the literal worst person ever but it's much more about Belos being a literal monster than his inner monstrosity in that moment. Like so much with Belos, it's an interesting idea obviously on the writer's mind but not done anything with because they won't dedicate the effort to it.

If we take it less charitably and look at Luz's character as a whole… Why should Luz care about other people's identities? Her claims of caring about other weirdos and the like never come out to anything. I've talked about before how Yesterday's Lie plus the pilot kind of implies that Luz actively chose never to make friends with nerds because they weren't special enough. That Willow and Gus only meet her requirements because they have magic.

Luz doesn't see Belos as meeting those requirements so why would she care about basic rights such as being given the name you desire? I think this is too mean of a take. I don't know if I personally agree with it but it is the unintentional effect that one can take from it just like how you feel awkward about the dead name being used at all when a preference is shown.

It's like if someone calls me Mikey. I don't like it. Someone pointed out to me that it's like a dog's name when I was a kid and ever since I've HATED being called that. Mike is fine but don't call me Mikey. If someone does, I know they don't give a shit about me and so I shouldn't give a shit about them and we better split our separate ways. Same goes for the assholes who have befriended my brother and called me shit like Chris 2 or Chris' Brother. Alright asshole, I see how little I matter so I'm just going to go now.

Hell, I gained a little bit of an identity issue with my brother when we were both in JROTC because a lot of people go by last names in that program. You have a twin, you end up getting called the same thing. Equated to each other. Etc. like that. Fun times.

But like Luz disrespecting Belos, I didn't take it as disrespectful until people started thinking I could be my brother's wrangler or that I should be matching my brother's athletic accomplishments. And that's what I feel about with Luz denying Belos the courtesy. It's kept at just the functional level of "You're the villain and this is the name you used to rise to power so I will not let you forget that," then seeming to be active malice about a person's identity and how they wish to be called.

Could it have been cut to be more comfortable to those who care deeply about dead names, identity, etc. like that? Yes. Could I imagine people with those same issues also overlooking it because at worst it's a microaggression as presented and the show is at least mostly respectful to people's identities? Also yes. So I don't really know which way to lean on it.

I wish I did. I wish I felt more comfortable with the subject. Frankly I'm paranoid about my personal stories here to give context to my perspective on these matters still being tasteless. I try not to let stuff like this stop me from giving my thoughts but…

Well, I want to be respectful. Maybe even more respectful than Luz is to others, depending on how you want to turn the globe of her character. Edit: I do want to mention that I actually have a fanfic where Luz is non-binary. I'm actually proud of how much that story will theoretically touch on identity and change frankly. At the time I also thought I had a Discord who would help me make sure to do it right/convinced me to give it a shot and didn't realize that enby people are considered on the trans spectrum. It's called Joro Rigged Pets. Like Crises Girlfriends, I plan to convert it someday after I finish it first as fanfiction. I'd love all of yours thoughts and feelings on how I'm doing it because like I said: I do try to be respectful. ========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

#The Owl House Criticism #TOH Critical #Luz Noceda #Belos

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lightlycareless · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 30 - thoughts.

Hello everyone!! Here we are… back again… with more notes! The behind-the-scenes, what makes me tick… or not lol.

As always, I do not recommend reading this before reading chapter 30, which you can find right over here in ao3!

Thus, these notes contain SPOILERS.

Now, without any further ado, let’s get into the details 😏

I posted this small spoiler a while ago:

and as foretold, here is a callback of that infamous chapter 12 lol. Even the “Let’s get something to eat” is worded exactly as Naoya did because I wanted to show this is some heavy case of déjà vu, even though it’s not under the same sentiment. As well as to scare y’all with the thousands of possibilities that could lead to the same results as before

Anyways, moving on 😳

Y/N doesn’t want to be there, outside of the necessary, just how Naoya was during the first time they went to the doctor, and Naoya wants to be there, and not because he is eager to learn about Y/N’s condition (although, deep inside him… very, very deep inside, he is, mostly out of his curiosity/ignorance) but rather because he wants to be with her and rekindle what they never had.

I know many were expecting something to happen between the two at this point, specifically in the communication department 😂 but let’s be real hahah Y/N is uninterested In anything that has to do with Naoyaaaa she doesn’t care, she doesn’t bother, and more specifically, she doesn’t want to interact with him (queue a song from the group I now realized most of their songs fit the story perfectly, coincidentally, my favorite one)

Their whole interaction was… hard to write down, and I guess it makes sense because it’s supposed to be frustrating, it’s supposed to be awkward. Show that their relationship is broken (beyond repair?) and everyone can see that 😅 Can you imagine seeing them at a distance and their issues are like so obvious that you're just like

The people helping them throughout they visit must've been like "uuhhh, should we leave?"

Naoya wanting to talk to Y/N was somewhat… pathetic at one point. I felt sorry for him but hey, as I said before, play stupid games win stupid prizes.

He tries to have conversations but he’s just acting… I don’t know how to say it, blindly? Delusional? Like he doesn’t get why she is being so cold towards him without bringing Naoaki—and that’s another thing that even bothered me lol Naoya is very self-conscious, his self esteem is on the ground, if not lower, he literally can’t stop thinking about his brother and his wife and wondering just what kind of things they’d do together 😂 like, I get it but come on!!! (more than I would like to admit 😭)

He's nowhere near understanding what is actually the real cause of his broken relationship, but as they continue to interact (kind of) with one another… maybe he will. Or not. That’s the interesting part that I’m looking forward to explore hehe. If there’s any redemption on Naoya’s part, is not going to be easy, and certainly I don’t think Y/N is willing to accept it right now (or at all) anyways.

I wonder how can he be redeemed? What will it take for him to finally open his eyes?

Now, moving forward to the whole medical thing.

Naoya and Y/N going to certain doctors prior the main consultation was definitely Ranta’s plan. It was something of “You need to reaffirm Y/N’s health beyond any reasonably doubt, is there anything you can do to do that?”

“The doctor did say something about getting examinations…”

And there you have it. Naoya made the call, scheduled the exams, and took Y/N. But I’m not going to say that he didn’t take her before because he forgot, in between work and having the general understanding that her issue was going to be fixed by just “waiting it out” he just… well, Naoya didn’t care about doing anything until it was beneficial for him, since he’s the kind of person to underestimate women’s health and the issues they could have. Let’s not forget he was forged in a misogynistic household so... 😭

Also, I’m not sure if there are certain labs that process your results in matter of hours lol since the earliest I’ve seen is… aa few hours, later that day if you’re there as soon as they open, but who knows?? Money makes the world go round haha. I actually had to go to the doctor a few weeks prior so everything was fresh 😎 I hope that even when time was overlooked, the rest was accurate 😂

From there, Y/N.

Y/N is… healthy. As healthy as she can be. Hormonally I think that’s a bit difficult to find out (and considering that Naoya was doing everything quickly, as well as the doctor and the Zen’in clan not interested in giving her “treatment” for it…) which is why the doctor was a bit curt when it comes to responding Naoya’s question. As well as trying to fill out another agenda.

It’s just putting Y/N in a stickier situation, but at the same time, gives her more time to stay away from Naoya, and get rescued by Hinata on the process. Had the doctor said she was fertile by some reason… ugh. Nope. Or not, because Naobito also gave them a timeline to act if their marriage was to continue, or in Y/N’s case, her life. (Please don’t ask me about times hahahahahah)

However you look at it, they're on the short end of the stick. Y/N is just in the shorter end. (Naoya consoling himself with the fact that at least she won't be with Naoaki in one of those alternatives is nasty. get rid of him, please)

I guess we could say that it would make sense Y/N was healthy. She’s taken the medication the doctor prescribed her, as well as stopped taking anything that might alter her hormonal profile or whatever. And in the sense of her wounds, she’s abstained from doing anything that might worsen that situation, thus, she healed rather quickly… let’s say that her health predicament is a combination of a rather healthy disposition, and well, maybe something having to do with her impressive ascendancy 👀?

We all knew that, however, the doctor and Naoya didn’t and I find it atrocious how they’re scrutinizing her for it.

Writing how Naoya was there while the ultrasound was being performed on Y/N JUST TO SEE IF HE WOULD FIND A FETUS OMG that was super infuriating and demeaning. I was just… UGH instead of wondering if she was ok, if there was a way to support her, Mr. Delusion was thinking about Naoaki and his wife!!! Kajgakgkajghkajgvhjka AND THE WAY THAT HE LISTENED CLOSELY TO THE DOCTOR’S INSTIGATION TO SEE IF SHE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH??? ah, isn’t he a wonderful husband?!

I think that Naoya might’ve kept this a secret from Ranta since he knows he wouldn’t approve of him taking this moment to also check if something had occurred between the two.

Although I presume Ranta already knew his best friend was going to do something like that (Hence the BE GENTLE NAOYA instead—as to make up for the errors he absolutely knew he was going to commit lol) Ranta really is the voice of reason in this situation, yet, wrongly motivated.

And if Naoya is somewhat trying to become… “better” (due to RANTA’S SUGGESTION) he still has a loooong way to go. Hm.

Finally, the doctor :>

Ok so, we already knew he was a terrible, unprofessional man from the last time we visited him, but this was just in a whole ‘nother level. And all because he was previously informed by Naobito himself!!! Even as awful as that really is in the story, I loved writing it because I like tormenting my characters hahah it's a way to ground, remind them of the the fact that even if they were away (feeling somewhat safe) he’s still closely watching.

I’m sure Ranta warned Naoya about it, and Mariya might've considered it, but it was one of those things that they'll have to deal with, even if it’s risky 😅 because both are still getting something beneficial out of it, even if it's the bare minimum.

The instigation on his part, however, although ignited by Naobito… I don’t think it was intended to go as far as it did (He’s still a mere mortal compared to the Zen’in haha so he might get fired from it) but that didn’t stop him. Naobito was pretty clear with what he wanted, to remind them of what's at stake and to stop playing those "stupid games" of getting along with one another and just do what's expected 😳

His words were designed to light a fire under Naoya's ass and stop moping around the estate. Hence, the constant reminder of Y/N's possible infidelity.

And he didn't stop there, he also slandered his close relatives lol it was a combination of "your brother's are worthless, and yet, look at one of them, getting all cozy with your wife :^)"

I would've loved to see him bring Toji into the conversation—I bet Naoya would've jumped to defend him 🙄

Y/N being compared to Tomoko by being “difficult” was foul for both women. Tomoko had a rough set of pregnancies because of Naobito’s obsession with getting a powerful heir that will help him secure the position of leader of the clan. (can't wait to develop her a bit more 😏)

The husbands in the equation are putting their respective wife’s health in a critical condition, and they don’t even realize it… wow. Is this man even passionate about his career? Why did he even choose something like that if he was not going to help them, or at least call them out?

Money, I guess.

But circling back to Naobito’s intervention, it makes me wonder just how far have the rumors of the situation going on between Naoya and Y/N have spread. I doubt the Zen’in are ones to reveal their issues to other clans (at least intentionally) but it kind of reminds me of the situation with the Kamo clan and Noritoshi’s mother.

The L/N knew of it because they were a close relative of hers, as well as being there to receive her when she was eventually cast aside. However, it’s been stated that the Zen’in are particularly… secretive towards Y/N’s family due to something Naoya might’ve or might’ve not done. So at least, we know they don’t know (and care).

As for the rest of the clans, I’m sure the elders have gossiped more than they should’ve (or maybe even the staff) and some words have reached the ears of the Gojo clan whom more likely than not, have people sneakily hidden inside the ranks of the Zen’in staff in hopes of getting something that might benefit them lol.

At the end of the day, this whole chapter was a callback to that infamous doctor visit, and see… what has changed so far. Naoya and Y/N are completely different people from back then, and we’ll see it on the following chapters!

There’s going to be more call backs, (yellow… yukata…) as well as exploring a bit more of loreeeeee!!!! I’m so excited to write these chapters as the story progresses, and overall, just see where the characters take us!!

Gjklagjkahgjka Thank you so much for your patience!! I hope you continue enjoying and supporting the rest of the story!! Take care, and hope to see you soon!.

P.S. These are just the most important parts that I remember as highly influential for writing the chapter, but if there’s something that you’d like to see further explained just send me an ask and I’ll be more than happy to respond!! ❤ (At the best of my spoiler-free ability, of course)

P.S. 2: I’m going on a break after the following chapter because I’m going on a cruise!! It’s so…. Exciting… 😭 I’m looking forward to it. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get some inspiration out of it hehehehehehheeh

#thought series: first it hurts—

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taeyungie · 1 year ago

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ah em thanks for replying to my long ask (sorry for another long one). i wanted to clear somethings up if it changes anything. but first, you might be right that he was jealous and just didn't show it. he seemed indifferent about me getting back to my ex so i never thought anything of it. he does sometimes randomly ask if i talked to my ex again after the final breakup happened (i haven't). anyways, i don't think he did what he did as a distraction from his hurt because i broke up with my ex 2 years ago! (and the guy that followed was also 2 yrs ago) i haven't been in a relationship with anyone since. and its because i started falling for him during that time. the fling happened months ago :( you're right about wanting to take it slow, he's probably really cautious but the fact of him knowing i had feelings for him before i even admitted it & still slept with the other person makes me think it's definitely not a priority for him. i assumed it would be cause again i had no idea there was someone else, and i lowkey thought he'd be happy i was willing to give us a try since i messed up the first time. i forgot to mention this is a long distance thing too it gets even more complicated. now that i found out about the fling (idk whether it was a 1 time thing or not) i keep wondering if he's seeing this person still it's driving me crazy) ive been cheated on and my insecurities are bad. but i do see his side in all this too cause he's been talking about coming to see me, and idk when that would be but i have delayed the idea for awhile by brushing it off (cause i wanted to be a better me before we met, i'm still working through things physically and mentally) but also i figured i could buy some time while he finishes his degree. so i didn't mind if it takes awhile, but the longer i take, the longer things aren't serious, and the longer he'll just see other people, but that pushes me away cause i don't want someone like that. it feels like a lose/lose situation now and it seems like its my fault. maybe i should've waited when i knew i could see him for sure, but now i'm not as confident in us bc of how lowkey he kept this from me in the first place. maybe my expectations are too high for something that's not official. ig i expected more cause he's my best friend too.

i understand you sweetheart, i really do, and I'm so sorry that you're going through this with someone who's so special to you. but i need you to talk to him, to tell him exactly what you told me. there's nothing wrong in overthinking things, especially if it's a sensitive topic to you. you have rights to know what is he really thinking and feeling, because if he's not serious about it then i wouldn't want you to waste your time and nerves on viewing this relationship as something that it might never be, i don't want him to give you false hope. you have to be clear about what you want and he has to be too, otherwise it's not gonna work and both of you will keep hurting each other. I always say that communication is key, it's better to say too much than not enough. At the same time, i feel like some people do not connect physical relationships with emotional connection, which might be the case for him, we don't know what is happening in his head and if he is ready to commit to a relationship at all. but you have to ask him about that, ask him to stop leading you by your nose if this is not what he wants, because your feelings are serious and you want to know what you're standing on. you need to ask him for clarity, baby. he should respect your feelings if he knew about them. not even as potential partner but as your best friend he owes you that.

#good luck sunshine #💖💖💖#anonymous #answered

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xoteajays · 1 year ago

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I have another new husband again.. Maybe I do tend to get infatuated easily over someone. Way more than I would like to admit to anyone.

Exactly. There have been plenty of shows and movies that I'd actually watched where the blend multiple genres into the story. Like.. Alice In Borderland and Tokyo Revengers are only two examples when comes to this. Arisu and Usagi are romantically involved, and they do end up getting married (and also started a family) in the sequels - their whole ship with them is more slow burn romance. The relationships for a lot of the TR characters, that really varies on the relationships though.

I've seen Junji Ito's work. But I have never watched the anime, or read the manga. Though I've seen plenty of his work. Actually.. There's one of my favorite musicians has tattoos of Junji Ito's work, and Junji also did artwork for that same musician in his art gallery too. So that's just a whole win win situation for both of them. That I could really think of.

I have been mostly rewatching the original three movies, besides the shows. Not that I won't watch the other movies though. But between the show and those movies, that is where the original casting is when writing about them. So I've been watching that timeline more though.

Not at the moment.. No knew information about my characters at the moment, at least not for my H&L characters. But I'll tell you when I do though. That might take some time for me to figure some things out.

Maybe? And Ryu's mother. So far, that is two women that I know of in Kuryu group. I'll have to start paying attention to them again anyway.. Especially if I decide to flesh out any more of the other gangs like the Kuryu and possibly Warriors too. Maybe for some characters at least.

As someone who tends to always hold grudges against people, I can't say that I would actually blame her if she never wanted her mother as a mother after the life she went through. Abandoned, used or abused. That's a horrible life to live. So I can't blame the decision she chooses.

What's her relationship to Smoky? Is he a friend, a brother? Because I know everyone in Nameless City is one giant family for most of them, but was curious about their actual relationship between those two.

If she was willing to give up her valuables to save Smoky, and anyone else, who needs medical care. Medicine and medical supplies are just some necessities for everyone but are extremely expensive though.

If I ever get around to writing my High&Low story.. I was thinking that the timeline would start between the end of season two, before those movies. That's what I was thinking. Since the drama from the show is caught up with the characters - like Hyuga being out of prison, any of the turf wars, the fighting between the SWORD gangs. That would be over. So that was the idea I had in mind for the timeline for my story.

I have only been in three relationships my whole life. And everyone of the guys I was in a relationship with cheated on me, so I become very idealistic about the concept of relationships. Fictional men are always better then real men. At least from my personal experience anyway.

But yes! "Someone you claim to care about." Is a phrase I always say a lot in situations like this. If you claim to love them, then just don't hurt them. But if you're so unhappiness, they should have really ended the relationship then. Because this is never ideal for the people involved.

I forgot how much younger you are than me..

The actress might be a young person but she should have known not to do something like that. But, apparently, she did pay compensation.

"In May 2022, Kim Sae-ron was driving under the influence in Gangnam-gu, Seoul around 8:00 am, she crashed into several structures including transformers, guard rails and street trees. In the crash, the transformer broke down, and the electricity supply was cut off for about 3 hours at 57 places including nearby shops, causing damage to merchants. The following day, her agency, Gold Medalist released a statement saying that, "Kim Sae-ron is deeply reflecting on her apparent mistake. The damage caused by the crash is being compensated as much as possible. I will do my best to take responsibility until the end."

It was later reported that she left the project in the television series Trolley. On November 4, 2022, it was reported all the money that Kim had accumulated during her activities was used as compensation in the crash handling and settlement process, and she had a part-time job. Later, Gold Medalist confirmed that Kim Sae-ron had a part-time job because her life was difficult, but currently has stopped.

On March 8, 2023, the prosecutor of Seoul Central District Court asked for a fine of 20 million won. Later, Kim appealed for leniency due to financial difficulties and requested a fine of 4 million won from Mr. A, who was riding with her."

Because of her actions, she left two projects that she was producing at the time of the incident. Trolley and Bloodhounds were the shows.

But still. You would think that people who have common sense not to do something like this. Damaging any property, harming humans and animals. But people never surprise me when things like this happen.

oooh new guy?? 👀

release the romance cut, h&l! i wanna see kisses!! kizzykaito especially but i’ll settle for yamato and naomi.

the anime is a lil hit or miss, some people are very critical of it. i’m easily entertained though so i don’t mind that, but just saying. the manga books are very good tho. i’ve read most of his short stories/anthologies but i’m interested in his longform stuff too.

hyuga’s eventually like ‘eh, parents right? they suck’. i haven’t decided if ryuko actually talks to her mother or not, but i know if she did, it would be an explanation about her mother’s relationship with her kuryu father and her actual biological father; she’d probably apologise. ryuko doesn’t want to meet her biological father either tho, and would reject an apology. very grudge holding, even if it hurts.

smokey and hinami definitely have a bit of a sibling relationship. they’re not as close as smokey and lala, but hinami does view him as an older brother. she cares about him a lot and respects him. he helped look after her and sat with her a lot when she was first abandoned and recovering from her amputation. he was a comforting figure in her life, so it hits her really hard - like for all the other rude boys - when he’s killed.

i don’t know where exactly hinami’s story starts, but ryuko’s starts around the end of red rain when ryu goes back to kuryu and kills kamizono to take his spot.

since i haven’t been in any relationships, i guess i can be pretty idealistic about how relationships should be. i think i just assume that people have the same morals as me and that’s not usually the case.

people just need to break up and stop cheating on their partners.

repping born in 98!

well at least she’s trying to take responsibility more than just apologising. i know young people do dumb shit, but still, it’s such an obvious thing to not drink and drive. just get a taxi home! call a friend! stop risking your own lives and other people’s lives! there are still so many deaths caused by drunk drivers every year and it’s always so stupid and avoidable.

#tj answers #long post //#long post anon

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junglekarmapippa · 2 years ago

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Stuff I brainstormed for The Singularity” and never used/forgot about

(X) Billy drinks the water and Venjix finds out about him and demands a new attackbot which K can’t help but provide.

(X) Jen and RJ hook up, deal with Jen’s PTSD about her leg, etc. RJ tells her about Fran and how that started his one-man war against Venjix.

() RJ finishes the morphers for Billy and Lauren. Lauren tries to help Chip regain his powers but he still doesn’t believe enough (this leaves RJ and Chip still unable to morph) RJ met Lauren and Chip in his journeys and they arrived to Corinth together. Having Lauren and Chip with him is what made him choose to go to Corinth.

() After the fight, RJ explains tha his morphers needs his animal spirit to be in harmony to work. Billy confronts him about it not being out of control but followiing RJ’s own anger. RJ denies feeling like that and Bridge locks onto his feelings and forces him to admit he’s immortal (”how did you accumulate so much pain in such a short life?”) and that he has 300 years worth of sadness and bitterness bottled up. The scene between Bridge and RJ has to be very intense (”this is not your pain to feel, Bridge!” “I thought that if you saw someone else feeling it, you would feel compassion”)

() RJ has called the Order of the Claw, asking them to send someone to destroy him. Master Mao appears before him and tells him his life is more valuable now than ever, since there’s so few people left. RJ begs Mao to give him permission to “tell them”-tell the others he’s immortal- and Mao agrees. RJ just can’t find the right moment to tell the others, until he gets involved in an explosion that should have killed him but didn’t. Make it something heroic, like covering Jen (or perhaps Chip) from a blast and receiving a direct hit that should have killed him, but obviously, doesn’t.

() Between RJ’s revelation and seeing Lauren use her symbol power, Chip feels he can believe in magic again (also fluffy team family stuff, I guess?). Lauren tells him she knows nobody can replace Vida for him but that she’s willing to cut in half anyone who mocks him for wearing a cape. This is how Chip gets his powers back.

() RJ has a battle with his animal spirit in his sleep. He’s sleeping next to Jen. The wolf suddenly stops being agresive, becoming tame to him again. He wonders how he won that battle, and wakes up to Jen’s kisses and caresses and soft words whispered in his ear as she tries to ease his sleep. She offers to help him find Fran. He says he doesn’t need to find Fran anymore, he has her. He feels his animal spirit merge with him again and knows he’s back in balance. He can morph now too. (now everybody can morph).

() Venjix is now in complete control of K and uses her knowledge to access completely to the Morphing Grid. He will force the power from the grid through the humans directly, making them die, for it is too powerful to use without a morpher and an armor. K starts having blackouts (literal blackouts in the cell in her mind) but Venjix forces her to watch the procedure used on the real Ziggy, who was captured with her. (Ziggy doesn’t make it)

() Billy announces the lab has been reconstructed as much as they can, and they start scanning for signs of Venjix. (Maybe we can include here that cute note about Jen giving Billy and RJ the batteries from the future?) He starts Scanning for what happened to K. Bridge and RJ have that cute toast/Pizza chat about Bridge’s theory about Doctor K and why she was taken.

() Bridge ad Billy find out (separately, Billy finds files in the computer, Bridge focuses super extra to find the very last remaining energy prints) how K was taken out of the lab (hypnotized) and Bridge shares his theory about why Venjix took K (access to the morphing grid) (Consider including the scene of Bridge and RJ both doing a handstand to think)

() Venjix moves K to the city after his new attackbot destroys the personel from the control tower. Venjix must mention he infected the city’s systems a while ago. The attackbot comes after Billy with grinders. -the weather starts getting sunny and warmer (and it’s supposed to be winter). There is a fight.

() Venjix sends another attackbot to lure the rangers out and destroy them before they can destroy him. Now all six of them can morph but they notice there are few people running around panicked. and the sun seems to be really bright (that’s how Venjix is connecting the energy from the morphing Grid to the people, also people have been turning into light as the Morphing Grid vaporizes them and their dead bodies make the city brighter)

() Back at the garage, they notice there’s something wrong with the morphing grid (it’s receiving MASSIVE demands of energy, at least 100 times greater than the largest ultrazord known to Billy) and there is something wrong with the camera system too. The video feed is on a loop and it’s not showing the real state of things. They realize Venjix has been making people dissapear (they can’t tell they’re dead yet) but Jen feels very bad about it. It’s up to RJ to bring her back from that into game mode. Use this beauty.

() Billy announces the antivirus is ready and Bridge deduces where Venjix could be keeping K as his vehicle. They decide on a plan, RJ says Lauren should lead because she’s the red one. She refuses at first but RJ convinces her that it is her destiny to lead a team of rangers to victory. Maybe it wasn’t Jayden’s team, maybe it’s this team. We sort Lauren out with this.

And that’s the end of act 2, ready to defeat Venjix afer this.

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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years ago

Text

Fireworks

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: mentions of anxiety, mental health, angst, worry (but happy ending!) Summary: The sound of fireworks in the middle of the night shakes Bucky awake so you try your best to comfort him. A/N: a little fourth of july fic inspired by my own dislike for fireworks but it works well here i think!

Masterlist

You awoke suddenly when you realized something was off. You were alone in the normally shared bed.

You had just barely registered this when you went to cuddle into Bucky but ended up finding, well, nothing. Nothing except for his half of the comforter that smelled like him. You frowned, forcing your tired eyes open in worry.

Frantically, in the dark, you sat up and searched for any sign of Bucky. You were really hoping he went to use the bathroom and you were just a paranoid girlfriend but then you heard a sniffle. It was so faint but you knew you had heard it. And it was coming from the…floor?

You peaked over on Bucky’s side and sure enough, there was your boyfriend shaking in fear on the floor. Heart-wrenching tears filled his eyes. A cheap blanket covered his lap. He barely looked up at you for a second before turning away, shoulders drooping in shame.

“Bucky?” You asked, worried beyond belief. “Is everything okay?”

He kept his eyes trained on the wall adjacent to the bed. “Yeah,” Bucky answered, weakly, “I’m fine. Go back to bed, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

You ignored his dismissal and raced off the bed. You knelt in front of him but Bucky still wouldn’t look at you. “What happened?”

But then that’s where you heard it. The unmistakable boom of fireworks.

Brows furrowed in confusion, you looked over at the clock which was reading just a few minutes past midnight. On July 4th. Your heart sank. You had completely forgotten what day was upon you.

“The fireworks…” you sighed. “Bucky, I’m sorry, I forgot-,”

Bucky shook his head. “There’s nothing you could do, honey.”

“I-I could’ve stayed up with you or-or-,”

He cut off your panicked rambling by placing his hand in yours. Bucky finally looked at you - really looked at you - and your heart shattered. He looked so exhausted yet panicked. Sad but angry. And as if on some super cruel cue, another firework exploded in the sky, lighting up your shared bedroom in a flash. Bucky winced.

You sighed. “I really can’t do anything for you?”

“Just…” Bucky took a deep breath. “Just stay with me. Please.”

Wordlessly, you nodded and sat on the floor next to Bucky. He had a blanket situated on his lap which he offered half of it to you. You accepted and snuggled into him as another explosive pop rang from outside.

After a moment, Bucky surprised you and spoke again. “You know, I used to love fireworks.”

You hummed, curling your arm around his bicep, hugging him. “Yeah?”

Bucky nodded, now staring towards the window which was suddenly lit up by another display. "I and Steve liked to go watch fireworks," he explained. "We’d go for his birthday and, wow, how they would light up the night. I thought it was the coolest thing ever when we were kids. The city put on some crazy shows."

"I’m sorry they’re not so fun anymore," you mumbled, completely unsure of what to actually say. Glimpses into Bucky’s life before the incident were so rare but you tried to treasure every one of them. It probably didn’t help in the slightest that his brain correlated Steve with fireworks. When was your boyfriend going to catch a break?

But Bucky just shrugged, shaking his head slightly. "What about you?" He changed the subject. Natural deflection. "Do you like fireworks?"

"I never really hated them but they did use to annoy me," you admitted. "Mainly because they’d scare my dog and that always made me upset."

Bucky let out a light chuckle which caught you by surprise. You held his gaze for a moment, shooting him a small smile before the moment was crushed by another firework exploding in the sky. You groaned.

"Why do people do this?" You huffed. "I get it, it’s the fourth of July, but it just hit midnight. Is it even legal around here?"

"You going to rat them out if it’s not?" Bucky teased.

You playfully rolled your eyes. "Maybe," you shrugged. "If that’s what it takes."

Another boom rang out and Bucky shifted towards you. "I’m sure they’ll be done soon," he said to you but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. "They can’t go all night, right?"

"You might be underestimating the American spirit."

Boom! Pop!

Bucky sighed in annoyance with each electrifying sound. "Yeah, you may be right."

That was enough for you. Just sitting here with him wasn’t really cutting it. You needed to do more.

"Maybe we should get out of here," you suggested. Bucky looked at you, confused, so you explained, "I read somewhere once that it may help to be farther away from the firework displays. Off in nature or something like that."

"I’ll take any suggestions you have at this point," Bucky admitted something shined in through the windows of the room. You were quite relieved he was willing to do more than sit on the floor. Not to mention he was actually letting you help him. You gripped Bucky’s hand tightly and you two stood up.

Foregoing any proper attire besides your everyday pajamas, you two packed some water and snacks before heading to your car. Bucky let you take the reins with driving which you didn’t mind. You only had a vague idea of a place on the outskirts of town that would work but, at this point, driving anywhere away from the chaos of the neighborhood was totally fine with both of you.

You drove about thirty minutes out of town until you hit an open woodland area. It seemed like some normal forest grounds filled with hiking trails but the specifics didn’t really matter. What it really offered was a lack of fireworks. Sure, some could be heard in muffled fashion and even seen way off in the distance, just above the tree line, but they were no longer right next door. You looked over at Bucky who was taking in the area. He already looked much more relaxed.

"This is nice," he commented.

You smiled and turned off the car. You two grabbed water from your packed bag. "I’m glad you like you," you said. "I was kind of worried there’d be campgrounds of tourists lighting more displays but it seems like we’re in the clear."

Bucky nodded slowly as he took a sip of water. His eyes were looking around lovingly at the trees. He even watched a few fireworks lighting up the sky back towards town. The sound was reduced greatly making it just a pretty mirage of colors. Even you were getting into it.

"Thank you," Bucky whispered.

You frowned. "Of course, Bucky. I just wanted to help."

"Y-You shouldn’t have to, though-,"

You shook your head insistently. "Don’t. I wanted to help. I’m so glad you’re feeling better out here."

"God," Bucky sighed, "what would I do without you?"

You let out a light laugh. "You wouldn’t know this cool forest existed."

Bucky agreed, "I guess that’s true." A beat. "But in all seriousness, sweetheart, thank you. I’m actually beginning to enjoy this Fourth of July."

"We could come back here later," you thought out loud, "and bring food for a picnic or something. That could be both fun. And certainly, keep us out of the action."

"I think that could be perfect," Bucky mumbled and looked over at you. When your eyes met, your boyfriend didn’t hesitate to lean in, stealing a kiss from you. You smiled, pulling him in for just one more.

This could even be a make-out spot, you thought. Picnics. Make-out. Lack of colorful explosions. Maybe a new Fourth of July tradition was in the making for you two.

#bucky barnes #the winter soldier #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #avengers #mcu fic #mcu #marvel one shot #marvel fanfiction #marvel #angst #one shot #bucky x reader

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imkylotrash · 4 years ago

Text

What Goes Around

Pairing: Hardin Scott x reader

Request: Could I please request an imagine/fic with Hardin Scott x Reader and basically Hardin of course has his bad boy reputation but this intrigues the reader. She is his complete opposite and finds his rudeness quite funny. Hardin is a little too mean to her one time and makes her cry. It doesn’t occur to Hardin that she likes him and by that point he feels like he has lost his chance to get to know her because of his.. ‘wicked’ charm? You can choose the ending. Anonymous

Tagging: @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody

He’s watching you give your coffee order and it makes you smile. Everywhere you go, you seem to run into each other. At first, you’d just steal glances then go your separate ways but then it turned into “hello”. He made the first move and asked if you should have your coffee together one day. Ever since than you’d made polite conversation when you ran into each other and you had to admit that something intrigued you about the tattooed boy who refused to care about anyone other than himself. You couldn’t exactly relate to his perspective on life but you wanted to know more, to understand the boy who considered the world a cruel place rather than an opportunity to happy days.

“This seat taken?” you ask standing with a hot cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. The “Red Queen” series have become something of an obsession for you after finishing the first book. You never thought you’d stray from the classics but lately, YA books had been catching your eye.

“I see you’re still on the third book,” he smiles and in the same moment letting you know how he feels about YA books. You don’t take it too hard considering he’s not even willing to admit his love for books for anyone other than you.

“I’m taking my time and enjoying the words.” You have a tendency to get too invested and rush through a book to get to the ending meaning you miss a lot of the little Easter eggs along the way. You’re trying to change that.

“Hey, no judgement from me.” He’s lying but it’s a cute lie so you’ll allow it. Once you’ve finished your coffee, you stand up grabbing your things. You have exactly ten minutes before your class start but you like to get there early in case you need to do some last-minute preparations. Hardin remains seated and you remain neutral in regards to his lack of motivation when it comes to college.

I’ll be going classes now. Want to come?” Okay, maybe not that neutral. He shakes his head smiling and you know what that means. It takes three days before you run into him again. This time at the library where you reach for the same book which sounds completely absurd and something that would only happen in one of your books. It’s a cute moment though.

“I guess great minds think alike,” you say and he scoffs.

“Please. You wish you were as clever as me.” He offers you the book about to sit down when he spots some of his friends outside. You know he’s been a little vague about who you are considering just how different you are to them and frankly, you don’t mind. Hardin is an interesting character because there’s more to him than just the casual alcoholic teen while the people he surrounds himself with at those frat parties really don’t have much else going on for them. You went one time and you’d never been more bored in your life.

“I should go,” he says Within minutes he’s out the door walking in the direction away from his “friends”. After that you don’t spot him for a while or maybe he’s avoiding you to avoid the questions his friends will inevitable have. Either way, you find yourself missing his sarcastic comments. You hadn’t realised just how much of an impression he’d made on you until he wasn’t around. But he comes back to you eventually.

“Hey,” he says when he spots you at the coffee house.

“I thought you’d moved city,” you tease pushing out the chair across from you with your foot. He sits down sliding a book across the table.

“As an apology,” he grins. You turn the book over to see the cover and you can’t help but smile.

“You remembered.” One of the first conversations between you and Hardin had been about ecocriticism and a book called “The Road” that you’d borrowed from the library more times than you could count. You’d discussed the topic in class where your professor had recommended this book and now Hardin had gotten it for you.

“You wouldn’t shut up about the book for at least five hours. How could I not?” He shrugs it off like it’s no big deal but it still means a lot to you. Now you could read the book whenever you felt like it. And he’d gotten the original cover rather than the movie cover. It would’ve been the perfect gift if his friends hadn’t shown up and ruined everything. You see the change in him the second they enter the coffee house.

“Hardin, who’s this?” Jace asks with hungry eyes making you feel incredibly uncomfortable.

“Just a friend,” Hardin offers not wanting to give any information to these people.

“Sure, friend. Do you feel the same way, honey?” Jace asks making the rest of the guys snicker. Before you have a chance to answer, Hardin opens his mouth and ruins everything.

“Yes, friend. I mean look at her. Not exactly my type, is it? I mean, could it get anymore vanilla?” This earns him a high five from one of the guys but it cracks your heart. You’ve never thought much about your close or the way you looked because you thought the inside counted a hell of a lot more than the outside. But hearing that the idea of being with you seemed so ludicrous hurt more than you liked to admit.

“I should get going.” You don’t look at Hardin when you leave and you don’t bring the book with you. If this is how he thinks of you then you don’t want anything from him. And it’s not even the fact that he considers you a friend. If that’s all it was, you’d be fine. It’s how easy it was for him to degrade you that really hurt. You tell yourself you won’t cry but it’s a lost battle as you head home. Unfortunately, you don’t reach home before he catches up to you.

“Leave me alone, Hardin,” you say picking up the pace. You’re determined to reach your apartment without stopping but of course, you can’t help yourself when it’s Hardin.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Mad at you? Of course, I’m mad at you!” you yell not caring who hears you at this point.

“You of all people should realise what it’s like to be judged on the way you look. I like the way I look and I absolutely refuse to let you make me feel bad about it!” You don’t care if he said it because of his friends or not, it’s the fact that it came to him so easily. That means he’s thought it before regardless of the situation at the coffee house.

“It was a joke!” he yells back opting for defensive rather than just apologise. You’re not doing this. You turn around and this time he doesn’t follow you. It’s weeks before you dare return to the coffee house. You don’t want to meet him again. Instead you dive head first into the universe of Jane Austen thinking he could’ve been your Mr. Darcy with his sour attitude and soft spot for you but it didn’t turn out that way. But your need for good coffee eventually win over your fear of seeing him again. The plan is in, order, pay and leave. It’s just not that simple once you’re inside.

“You forgot this.” He places “The Road” in front of you as you’re waiting for your coffee. You can’t believe he’s held onto to it since that day. You figured he would’ve just chucked it in the bin.

“I’m really sorry for what I said. It was rude and thoughtless. You deserve better.” It’s a good apology but you can’t help but think what the insult will be the next time his friends catch you together.

“You’re right. I deserve better.” You get your coffee and head outside.

“Throw me a bone here. I said I was sorry.” Of course, Hardin follows you outside refusing to let this go.

“Hardin, you’re only sorry because I called you out on it. You don’t actually care that it hurt me.” He’s not the first guy who thought he could walk all over you and he won’t be the last but you refuse to accept that treatment. You deserve a lot better than that.

“I’m sorry because it hurt you. I didn’t think you’d read so much into it,” he defends himself making it clear to you that it’s a pointless discussion. He’s not going to understand why what he said was hurtful despite his own appearance and the comments he’s received.

“How could I not? I’m sitting there thinking we might have a shot and then you pull the rug out from under me. I’m not playing these games with you.”

“What?” You don’t bother repeating yourself instead using this moment of shock to hurry away. You manage to avoid him for another week before he corners you on campus.

“You can’t just throw something like that out in the world and then leave. It’s been going round and round in my head.” He has a hand on each side of you leaning against the wall. It’s effective for keeping you in place and distracting you from why you’re actually upset with him.

“I never thought you’d like me like that. Shit, I would’ve done things very differently if I ever thought I had a chance.” This time you’re the one in shock. You didn’t think he’d put so much thought into what you said last time.

“What would you have done differently?” Despite vowing to yourself that you’re done with Hardin, you find yourself curious once again. This bad boy persona with a loving man hidden inside seems like an impossible paradox.

“I would’ve kept you well clear of those idiots from the frat house. Bought you flowers maybe. Taken you to dinner. Bought you a hell of lot more books.” You don’t want to forgive him but it’s hard to think when he’s this close to you.

“I can start now if you’d like.” He places a hand on your cheek and his touch gives you chills. You inhale sharply telling yourself not to give into him but your body has already thrown in the white towel. He leans down stopping inches from your lips.

“I really am sorry. It won’t happen again.” Instead of answering, you lean up closing the gap between you. It’s the first kiss but definitely not the last.

#hardin scott x reader #hardin scott imagine #hardin scott blurb #hardin scott after #hardin scott gif #hardin scott #after gif #after imagine #after blurb #After movie #after we collided #after we collided blurb #after we collided imagine #awc imagine #awc gif #awc blurb #awc

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hpalways · 3 years ago

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Surprises || Childe

a/n: i swear i’ll get to the requests soon akjdhfjfj sorry for the wait dudes.

BUT YEAHHHHHH ITS CHILDES BIRTHDAY I LOVE U DADDY HAVE A NICE ONE

THROWING a surprise party for Childe was more difficult than one could imagine. He didn't fully admit it, but he was obviously hurt when no one wished him a happy birthday today. And while everyone went on to set the scene for when you would all surprise him, you were given the role to distract him. As the two of you strolled through the streets of Liyue Harbor, his sea blue eyes darted everywhere agitatedly. Repeatedly letting out a sigh, he combed his gloved hand through his ginger locks. You stifled a giggle at his discomfort, sensing that he was too prideful to outwardly question why his birthday wishes were practically nonexistent this year.

He peered at you with disappointment, for he wished to hear those words from you more than anyone else. Wondering if his birthday was really that forgettable, he thought back to the day you asked when his birthday was. The two of you shared the dates and he remembered how elated he was on your birthday, buying gifts and spoiling you with his dirty earned mora. He could still see the grin that was stuck to your face the entire day.

"Thanks for joining me on some errands. I'm almost done," you told him, smiling. Guilt continued to pour into your chest at the sight of him.

He nodded and forced out a smile, coloring his face with his usual facade. "Anything for you, comrade," he chuckled, ruffling your hair in a habit. "I was bored anyway. It almost feels like there should be something important today, but I suppose there's truly nothing."

You wanted to burst out laughing. He was trying so hard to be discreet about it, but you could easily read behind the lines. "Oh? Nah. There's nothing important today."

"Nothing at all?" he responded, voice hollow. "That's strange. Are you sure?"

"I keep all my important dates on my calendar. It was blank for today."

His flingers curled around his shirt, gripping so tightly they shook. You were very organized, but his birthday wasn't on there. Did he mean nothing to you? Did he care for you more than you did him? He was beginning to feel idiotic -- foolish even. Falling silent as he followed you to the next stall, he watched you buy daily groceries, picking out the biggest fish in the pile and bright fruits from the baskets. He numbly carried the bags, groaning to himself. Maybe he should leave the city and hunt down some hilichurls, skewer them so he could release some of his pent up frustration.

While he was lost in his head, too busy thinking about his bottled up emotions, you noticed Hu Tao in the distance, making wide signals. She was dramatic as per usual and you glared at her, urging her to hide within the shadows. Quickly turning away from the merchant, you were relieved to know that Childe had not detect anything suspicious. It was showtime.

"Okay. One more stop," you informed him.

"I... think I should to go," he responded. "I'll drop your bags back home."

Panic seeped into your expression, your eyes growing wide. Oh no -- this couldn't get any worse. You had to stop him before he could leave, because who knew where he would go next? He was such an unpredictable guy, free to roam wherever he liked with that reputation of his. "It's just one more place," you pointed out, knitting your brows together. "Come on, Childe. It will be really quick. Please?" You gave him the best puppy eyes and slipped a hand in his, squeezing it tightly to feel tingles erupt at the contact.

His head leveled slightly at the feeling of your hand, so he slowly nodded. "Fine. But I'll have to go right afterwards. I have some business to do with the Fatui."

That was a lie. The both of you knew that, but Childe didn't want to seem so lame in front of you. He already felt that enough today to last a lifetime.

You pulled him through the crowds of people lingering on the roads beside buildings, making a beeline to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. You ignored the furrow of his forehead when he saw the building looming ahead of him. Before he could voice out any inquiries, you pushed the dark oaken doors open, stepping into the darkness. He stayed by your side loyally, his muscles strained, ready to protect you from the weird atmosphere of the room.

The curtains dropped, golden sunlight spilling through the windows to reveal the secret. "Happy birthday Childe!" the entire group called out. There stood in the room were dozens of people, including Teucer, Zhongli, Hu Tao, traveler, Paimon, and fellow Liyue citizens. Tables were set up in the Parlor, banners were hung up on the wall, and food were lined up, including a birthday cake. You turned to look at the red haired man, whose irises took it all in, his mouth parting openly.

"Teucer. You're here!" he gasped, opening his arms wide when his little brother ran up to him. He hugged the boy tenderly, thanking everyone for the throwing the party. They all began to surround Childe, while others mingled and conversed, for the party was starting.

You faded into the background, leaning against the cool wall and feeling grateful that it was a success. It was a lot of work, but with everyone contributing, it went very well, which was a little strange, considering you half expected it to fall apart.

Footsteps sounded, so you turned to the left to see him approaching you. He looked breathless, his cheeks rosy, and his dimples showing. "The party was your idea, wasn't it?" he stated, rather than in question form.

Nodding silently, you took something out from your pockets. "Happy birthday, Childe."

You handed it to him and he took it with a softened expression. Unwrapping the gold, shiny wrapping of the small box, he opened it up to find a keychain in it, blue and twinkling. It was carved into a hydro vision, the details exactly aligned to the vision that sat on his torso.

He kissed you then, crashing his lips upon yours. Hands faltering to the sides, you clenched your fingers around his forgotten present and returned the kiss. He tasted of seasalt and apples, as well as a scent that no doubt came from his homeland. His warmth brushed over to you, spreading through your system and to the tip of your fingers. Your cheeks burned at the contact and your chest pounded, but eventually, you pulled away, embarrassed by the chance of any onlookers.

"There are too many people here," you said, shaking your head, still feeling flustered by the way he looked at you -- as if you were the only thing he could see in this world. He was so unashamed, willing to do anything to grapple at the goal he sought after. He had always been like that. And always will be.

He raised a brow, the corner of his lips curving up mischievously. "Are you suggesting we get out of here and find a vacant room?"

You hit his arm and he pouted, laughing at your reaction. "How rude," you sniffed. "I threw this entire party for you and you're already willing to ditch it. Don't think I'll forget how desperate you were this entire day."

Embarrassed, he averted his gaze from you, scratching his head with an awkward chuckle. "I didn't care for a party, [Y/N]. All I wanted was to hear a birthday wish from you. I was scared you forgot it."

"I would never forget it. Not in a million years."

His cheeks grew red and he seemed content at your answer. Swinging an arm around you, he lugged you towards the food. Then he rambled on and on about something regarding stuffing himself so he could slay a bunch of enemies. Sitting down at a table, he declared a rematch with traveler. On the other end of the table was Zhongli, going on long tangents to the poor victim who was forced to listen in. Hu Tao was scaring off another customer, suggesting deals like the sales woman she was and suddenly talking about the afterlife.

Everyone here was so distinct and peculiar, but in a good way. Grateful to be surrounded by such people, you knew that not a day goes by without an adventure.

"Hey Tuecer," you said to the boy beside you. He was in the middle of playing with Mr. Cyclops, making sound effects with his mouth. "How are you doing, little guy?"

"Hi [Y/N]!" he giggled. "I'm good. Mr. Cyclops is doing good too. He wants to say happy birthday to my big bro too!"

Childe returned from his conversation with traveler and Paimon, on time to ruffle his brother's head like he did with you earlier. "Thank you Mr. Cyclops," he cooed, petting the top of the toy endearingly. You laughed at the scene and he locked eyes with you. "Hey, don't hurt Mr. Cyclops' feelings like that. Right, Teucer?"

"Right," Teucer nodded somberly, growing real serious.

Ugh, these brothers. You rolled your eyes and tossed food into your mouth. Childe's head abruptly dropped to your ear, his breath hovering upon your lobes. You shivered at his close proximity. "I love you, [Y/N]. You know that, right?" he whispered into your ear.

Heart hammering for the millionth time this day, you paused with your chopsticks in the air. "I love you too, dumb birthday boy."

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mizunetzu · 4 years ago

Text

Lovely tags: @xstar-kidx @shiny-bun @runawayvictorianchild @tea-whore @mixijima @fudobaby @fa1ryblood4 @shawwniebinnie @2o77danilopez @cha-boi-after-dem-kneecaps @vincent0kirishima @dxcter @li-xero-x

——————

Kuroo x reader - ...Yet it Happened Again (you did once pt.2)

⚠️Warnings - Bokuto running around without underwear so his pants and his asscheeks prolly stank, none

Pronouns - he/him

You can find part one here!

——————

“I never stood a chance, did i?” Kuroo chuckled. It was a sad chuckle, one that made (Y/n) want to cry as well.

“That’s the sad part.” (Y/n) pressed his lips into a fine line, turning it into a smile connotated with pity.

“You did once.”

(Y/n) rubbed at the back of his head, trying not to suffocate in the aggravating silence that consumed the air. He looked off to the side, looking to the ground where his feet stood, then kept his gaze trained on his feet.

He didn’t want to see Kuroo’s face again. Not because he was uncomfortable that he liked him, no. He was sure they’d be good buddies again in a few days. He just didn’t want to see that pitiful expression that hung heavy with rejection. Even (Y/n) was an empathetic person.

“We should head back...” (Y/n) said, mumbling into the ground. “Yeah,” Kuroo’s disembodied voice rang, albeit a bit wavy and dry. It twisted (Y/n’s) heart into knots.

(Y/n) pushed off the railing and began to walk away. People would be wondering where they went.

“Are you comi-“ (Y/n’s) voice hitched in his throat.

Kuroo was smiling. His eyes closed, a gentle, warm smile on his face as he held himself with his arms wrapped tightly around themselves. (Y/n’s) furrowed his eyebrows.

Kuroo seemed to notice the gaze of confusion from him, so he looked up. His eyes were gentle, they held no grudge or blame for (Y/n), eyes that respected and adored his decision, even if it was rejection on his part. Some part of him wished Kuroo would be more mad, so he didn’t have to feel so bad about turning down his confession.

“There’s...” Kuroo finally spoke up after what seemed like forever. “...nothing I can really do to change your mind.”

Kuroo’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. Not smirk, but a soft, clad smile. (Y/n) frowned.

“And it made me realize just how happy I am to still be your friend. And I think I’m satisfied with that for now.”

Kuroo hiked himself off the railing as well, not bothering for an answer from (Y/n) and his unreadable expression. He walked past him, before stopping and turning around.

“Thanks for hearing me out, (Y/n). I have my answer now and I can stop stressing, so thank you for that.”

“Let’s go back.”

(Y/n) nodded quietly. He didn’t trust his voice to come out the way he wanted, so he chose to silently follow Kuroo back to the gym.

——

Why did it feel so bad?

He knew rejecting people always felt sort of burdenful, but he never thought about things like that more than a day at most, usually forgetting the whole thing happened after a good amount of time. But (Y/n) found himself thinking about it even three days after his rejection to Kuroo.

Was it because it was his friend who he rejected? His old crush? (Y/n) bounced a volleyball against the ground, before bringing it up into a toss. He tossed the ball absentmindedly as his teammates did whatever solo practice they wanted to do.

(Y/n) hummed to himself. Even though he was confused as to why it felt so bad to reject Kuroo, he wondered why he didn’t take his rejection more heavily even more.

It was a rejection, he should’ve been at least a bit more sad then that. But he was smiling. Kuroo was smiling as (Y/n) so selfishly told him he didn’t love him. God, why did he have to confess so early into training camp?

Maybe it was because he was such a kind person...a kind, kind person. He was lucky to have a friend like that, willing to be happy being friends with someone like him, who broke his heart. So lucky. Lucky that Kuroo was kind and caring and-

The volleyball dropped and bounced off (Y/n’s) face, before tumbling onto the ground and bouncing away. (Y/n) stumbled back with a groan, tripping and falling onto his ass as he tried to regain his bearings. He must’ve been so lost in his thoughts that he forgot he was tossing the ball. He sat and rubbed at his face. It stung, especially since the ball dropped from so high up.

“(Y/n)!”

He heard a voice yell. (Y/n’s) heart swelled. From guilt or from something else, he didn’t know.

In a second Kuroo was standing over him, a worried look on his face. He crouched down to his side.

“Are you okay? That looked like it hurt.” Kuroo gave no time for (Y/n) to answer, as he pulled his hand away from his head and cupped his cheek. He brought (Y/n’s) face close to his own, examining it closely. (Y/n) held his breath, and looked anywhere but him. “Your forehead looks kinda red.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine...” (Y/n) brought his hand up to Kuroo’s wrist to get him to let go of his face, but he held it firm, but with the gentleness of a feather at the same time. His hand was warm. He wished it was cold so his heart would calm down. He wished he would let go already.

Kuroo scanned the gym for the nearest adult. Coach Nekomata was busy being talked off by Karasuno’s coach, so he couldn’t go there. And he’s pretty sure everyone else was busy. Kuroo sighed.

“Get up, I’m taking you to the health office so you can rest.”

In a second, (Y/n) was pulled to his feet and walking towards the health office. Kuroo yelled something over to a nearby coach, who nodded and let him continue to the office.

“Wh-but it was just a bump-?!”

Kuroo held his fingers to his lips. “Dude, I’m bailing you out from practice for a few minutes, the least you can do is thank me.”

(Y/n) let his mouth fall closed. He furrowed his brows with a huff as he walked in silence.

Kuroo Tetsurou is such a kind person.

——

(Y/n) flopped onto the nurse's office’s bed face down, sighing into the dense mattress. It wasn’t even that comfortable, but to a tired volleyball player, it was like laying on warm clouds.

“Air conditioning feels so niiiiiiiice...” (Y/n) sunk deeper into the school-provided pillows, his sweat beginning to cool as the AC blew cold air into the room. Kuroo closed the office door, so no one would catch them ditching, and sat down on the bed next to (Y/n).

He sat there for a few seconds, testing the waters, before slowly laying down beside (Y/n). He looked up from the pillow, an unreadable expression on his face as he looked at Kuroo laying down.

“Am I not allowed to lay down?”

“Well-it’s just—“

“Calm down, (Y/n),” Kuroo chuckled. He shifted from his spot on the small bed, laying on his side and facing (Y/n). “Just cause I like you doesn’t mean I’m gonna pounce on you while we’re resting or something.”

“I’m tired too.”

Kuroo pulled up the folded blanket to both of their shoulders. (Y/n) shrunk back into the mattress slightly when Kuroo placed the bed sheet over him. “If they ask where we were, just say I was icing your forehead or something.”

Kuroo settled into the bed. In seconds, (Y/n) could’ve sworn he was already out like a light, quietly snoring while he wrapped his arms around himself atop the blanket. It didn’t help that the bed was small, made for people of normal height and certainly only for one person.

Especially with Kuroo, almost 6’2; (Y/n) was closer to Kuroo’s face than he would have liked.

He saw the way Kuroo’s chest would flutter every time he took a deep breath in, or the way his impossibly messy hair fell into his face, making it even more untamable than it already is. Or the way his lips were so deliciously parted, making his face look relaxed and peaceful.

He could stare at it forever. He could stare at him forever. And it was scary.

(Y/n) clutched the fabric of his shirt that clung right over his heart. There was no way he could sleep like this. Not when he was so close to Kuroo Tetsurou...

But even as he thought that, both of them somehow woke up entangled in each others arms, comfortable, and skipping practice peacefully. Not even Coach Nekomata had the heart to wake them up when he so curiously wandered into the health office looking for the two. Which is why they didn’t until Yaku dragged Kuroo forcefully onto the ground, bringing (Y/n) down with him.

——

(Y/n) thinks he knows why it felt so bad.

It wasn’t as hard to figure out. After all, the warm, fluttery feeling he felt as he woke up so suddenly, on the ground staring up at Yaku while directly on Kuroo’s chest was too telling.

The feelings he tried so hard to forget were resurfacing again. And he hated it.

Don’t get him wrong, Kuroo openly admitted to liking him just a few days ago, and just yesterday he woke up on top of his chest, but it was almost embarrassing to admit he was falling all over again. He didn’t want to. God, he didn’t want to.

Suck it up, keep it inside until training camp is over. That’s what he told himself. Then (Y/n) wouldn’t have to see Kuroo’s stupid, lovable face all day every day. Maybe then these feelings would bubble over again. That easy.

“(Y/n)~!”

Or so he thought.

Kuroo came jogging up to (Y/n), a plate of breakfast in his hand as he slumped down in the seat next to him. Kuroo dug into his breakfast, piling rice into his mouth as (Y/n) hummed out a greeting.

Kuroo swallowed a big lump of rice thickly. He clasped his hands together, before rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. “Sorry about yesterday...totally didn’t expect to fall asleep on you...or koala you while I was sleeping…”

“S’fine…” (Y/n) said, hungrily shoveling food into his mouth. He barely heard anything that Kuroo said over the sound of his stomach rumbling. Kuroo raised an eyebrow.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yesh.” (Y/n) chewed, thought about it, then swallowed. “...No.”

“(Y/nnnnn)!” Kuroo banged on the table lightly as he whined jokingly. (Y/n) chuckled into his plate of rice.

“Kidding, kidding! Yeah, I heard-”

“Though I wouldn’t blame you if it went totally over your head there. Y’know, since you’re so dense sometimes~”

“Fuckin-Tetsurou!”

Kuroo cackled as (Y/n) spat rice at him while he sputtered. His laugh was unrestrained, and as funny-sounding as it was, it sounded so genuine and wholehearted that you couldn’t help but listen as his laughter sang. It was stupid. It was Kuroo.

(Y/n) stopped laughing before Kuroo, stopping unconsciously to listen to his contagious laugh. He only then realized he called him by his first name habitually, like he’d done years ago. As his laughter died down, (Y/n) quickly turned to his plate of half-eaten food to avoid being caught staring at him.

“Ahhhh sorry sorry-you’re just very fun to-Kenma! Get off you’re psp and eat, damnit!”

Kuroo stood up from the table, pointing at Kenma, who was trying to somehow hide himself behind Hinata. Kuroo turned back to (Y/n). “Sorry, let me grab Kenma’s psp real quick. He was gonna sit next to us until he saw Shrimpy over there, and he’s probably too busy showing him his games to eat. Gimme a sec, ‘kay?”

Kuroo fled from the table, disappearing off to nag Kenma like a mom. (Y/n) picked up his chopsticks, picking up a small veggie with his sticks when a phone buzzed.

(Y/n) fished his phone out of his pocket, switching it on only to be met with a blank screen with his background photo. A picture of him and Kuroo posing in front of a ramen shop’s fish mascot, pretending to eat it as Kenma set his hand on the fish to contribute to the photo. No notifications. It wasn’t his phone.

The phone buzzed again, and it was only then (Y/n) realized it was the phone on the table, in the seat directly next to him. Kuroo’s seat. It was Kuroo’s phone.

(Y/n) pursed his lips. He grabbed the phone, intending to turn it off or dismiss the notification, when his eyes caught the message banner.

One new message from “Yumemite”

Huh. He could’ve sworn the last time he’d seen Kuroo’s phone, her contact name was somewhere along the lines of “Cutie Yumi <3” or “love of my life”. But it was what was under that banner that really peaked his interest.

‘hows it goin with (Y/n)????’

(Y/n) knew he shouldn’t intrude on Kuroo’s texts. It was a breach of privacy, and Kuroo could come back any second. Still, the message was about him, so he had a right to know...right?

He typed in Kuroo’s password the last he remembered it. Yumemite’s birthday. Quickly typing in the digits, his cringed slightly when the words ‘INCORRECT PASSWORD’ glared at him, and erased the wrong password from the text box.

(Y/n) glared back at Kuroo’s phone, even as he felt a sense of pride that Yumi’s birthday wasn’t the answer. He typed in Kuroo’s own birthday into the text box with a smirk.

The screen flashed ‘INCORRECT PASSWORD’ once again.

Now, this really got (Y/n) confused. Kuroo was very basic with passwords. His birthday, or someone else’s birthday like his mom, had always been his go-to password. But it was almost always his own birthday. (Y/n) gulped, and hesitantly typed in one more birthday into the box.

The screen slid up, granting him access to Kuroo’s phone. (Y/n) couldn’t tell if his stomach dropped or if his chest exploded with butterflies.

The number he had typed in was his own birthday.

(Y/n) shook the butterflies off, clicking on the messages app and opening the conversation with Yumemite. He scrolled up until his name wasn’t mentioned in conversation anymore, which was a few days ago, the day he rejected Kuroo to be precise.

Yumemite - howd it go??

Yumemite - he said yes right??

Kuroo - no

Kuroo - brb gonna go listen to mitski and cry :,)

Yumemite - AWWW IM SO SORRY :(((((

Kuroo - wait lmao dont be i was joking

Yumemite - ?

Yumemite - wait so he said yes-?

Kuroo - well- no

Kuroo - he rejected me but tbh id rather be his friend than not have him in my life at all yk??

Kuroo - like i can learn to get over him but itd fuckin suck if i lost him altogether

Kuroo - hes too important to me for that

Kuroo - i love him too much >>>

Yumemite - gay

Kuroo - shut up u literally have a gf

Yumemite - yeah <3 unlike one of us

Kuroo - I JUST GOT REJECTED AND YOURE PULLING THAT SHIT

(Y/n) smiled to himself as he read through the texts. He felt oddly happy that he was ‘important enough’ to Kuroo that he’d be willing to stay as friends even though he was rejected.

(Y/n) switched off the phone as he heard approaching footsteps. He slid the phone back into its place as Kuroo slumped back in his seat, psp in hand.

He hoped he didn’t notice.

——

(Y/n) wished he didn’t know why he felt so bad. Now that he knew, it just felt worse.

Every little touch, every little ‘(Y/n)~!’, hell, every little glance he sent his way sent shivers down (Y/n) spine. And he hated it.

He hated how he couldn’t stop himself from falling hopelessly in love with Kuroo Tetsurou all over again.

He wasn’t deliberately doing anything to get him to fall so bad either. No flirtatious comments, touches that get a little too personal, nothing. It was just Kuroo being his friend, and that made it one-hundred times worse.

Did that mean Kuroo got over him that quickly? Did he not like him anymore, and that’s why he was so comfortable sleeping in the same bed as him? Or laughing and touching him all buddy-buddy during breakfast? Did he-

Did he really move on that quickly?

(Y/n) ran fingers through his hair as he walked into the gym. It should’ve been a good thing, Kuroo moving on. He should’ve been happy about that. So why wasn’t he? Why…

“KUROOOOO! YOU ROOSTER SHIIIIIIIIT!”

Bokuto’s voice boomed from behind (Y/n). He jumped, but before he could turn around, an arm snatched his wrist and pulled him along.

(Y/n) legs ran faster than he could keep up with. Kuroo lay ahead, sprinting as fast as he could with (Y/n’s) wrist in his clutch. He looked from a cackling Kuroo’s back, to Bokuto chasing behind them.

“Wh-?!”

“I stole all of Bokuto’s underwear from his bag while he was in the shower.” Kuroo said between jagged pants as he turned a sharp corner. (Y/n) stumbled along, trying to keep up.

“And you brought me along why?!”

“Hey-! I didn’t mean to! You were just right in front of me and you were like-thinking about something so you probably didn’t hear me screaming to get outta the way so I just grabbed you-!”

Fair enough. (Y/n) huffed as Kuroo hurriedly opened up a storage closet and ducked into it.

It was fairly big, about the size of a volleyball club room and very, very dark. (Y/n) could barely see the faint outline of Kuroo’s jawline as he felt around the doorknob, snickering.

“Shit-there’s no lock…”

“Kurooooooo!”

“Fuck! Uh-!”

Kuroo looked around as he heard Bokuto’s footsteps nearing the closet. Looking at (Y/n), he could very clearly see the bright white of his shirt, contrasting the way Kuroo’s black one blended into the dark. If Bokuto barged in, he’d see (Y/n), which would lead to him finding Kuroo, and...well.

Without thinking, Kuroo pushed (Y/n) against the corner of the room, placing each of his hands on either side of him as he practically smushed himself against him. The door barged open, faint yellow light flooding into the dark room as Bokuto angrily stomped in.

Kuroo mouthed a “Don’t...move…” as slowly as he could to avoid his lips smacking or making noise, and he’s pretty sure he got the message with how utterly close their faces were to touching.

(Y/n) was so close he could practically count the eyelashes on Kuroo’s pretty eyes. Were Kuroo’s eyes always so bright? They looked hypnotic and endless as he looked off to the side, trying to see Bokuto searching the closet childishly.

(Y/n) swallowed the lump in his throat as quietly as he could, pressing against the wall as much as humanly possible with how close Kuroo was.

Bokuto huffed, nearing Kuroo and (Y/n’s) hiding spot. Kuroo unconsciously pressed closer, hoping Bokuto wouldn’t see the white of (Y/n’s) shirt. Things disappear with the color black in the dark, he just hoped Bokuto was dumb enough to not see Kuroo’s hair or his black shirt.

Kuroo’s face was so close to (Y/n) that they were practically pressing on eachother. Kuroo’s lips lay a mere centimeter away from (Y/n), one push from Bokuto, one slip from Kuroo, hell, one little gust of wind and they’d lock lips anytime soon.

Kuroo couldn’t help but stare into (Y/n’s) wide eyes with a sweaty, flushed face. (Y/n) couldn’t tear his eyes off of Kuroo’s half-lidded golden ones, especially with the way his lips were so tantalizingly close…

They jumped, however, when Bokuto kicked over a bucket with a loud “Hey, hey, hey!”. They both tensed as Bokuto pouted once more.

“I know you two are in here-!”

“Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto whipped his head around.

“Akgashfgjhi!”

Akaashi held up a pair of light blue boxers. “He missed one. Put them on before your pants start to smell. We’ll find him later.”

When Akaashi appeared, (Y/n) didn’t know. Neither did Kuroo. Nevertheless, Bokuto swiped the boxers from Akaashi gratefully, and turned back to the “empty” room.

“I’ll pay you back for this! Stupid Kuroo! Dumb rooster! I’m comin’ back for my underwear! Hey, hey, hey!”

Bokuto’s voice faded away as he left the storage room. Kuroo sighed in relief. (Y/n’s) head and vision felt hazy and cloudy as Kuroo let out a breathy laugh, still very close to each other's faces.

“I bet Bokuto wasn’t wearing any underwear, how disgusting.” Kuroo chuckled, beginning to pull away from their very cramped position in the corner. (Y/n) looked at Kuroo’s shiny ember eyes, down to his plush-looking lips. His face was still mere centimeters away from his own, then they locked eyes and suddenly (Y/n) wasn’t thinking about Yumemite or his regret anymore.

It wasn’t just a little kiss. Not like a little peck or a hesitant first kiss with your highschool boyfriend on your first date. It was grab-him-by-the-neck, bury-your-fingers-into-his-messy-hair, why-was-I-so-scared-about-loving-you-again kissing right against the wall of the storage closet.

(Y/n) pressed his back against the wall, bringing Kuroo in as close as his body could. Kuroo circled one of his hands around (Y/n’s) waist, letting the other rest on the wall and for seven seconds everything was bliss until-

Kuroo pushed himself back, pushing (Y/n) off him and letting his head hang down.

He pushed. (Y/n). Off. Of. Him. He wouldn’t mind if the wall would open up and swallow him whole. Kuroo didn’t look at him, he refused to, as he kept his arms on (Y/n’s) shoulders to keep his distance.

“...why did you do tha-”

“Don’t you like me, Tetsurou?”

Kuroo finally looked up at the waverly tamber of (Y/n) voice.

“...What?”

“Just a few days ago, you were telling me how much you loved me,” tears stung at (Y/n’s) eyes like heavy weights. He grasped onto Kuroo’s wrists that were on his shoulders, albeit a bit looser than it previously was. “Why is it any different now…?!”

“Wait-(Y/n-” Kuroo was cut off when (Y/n) gripped his wrists tighter.

“Did you...did you really get over me that quickly…? Do you really not love me anymore?!”

Tears began dripping down (Y/n’s) cheeks. Kuroo retracted his hands back, only to have the collar of his shirt grabbed and tugged harshly towards him.

“Wait, (Y/n), listen-”

“No! Shut up!” (Y/n) pushed Kuroo up against a rack behind him, drawing up a grunt from Kuroo. He was about to say something, or maybe push (Y/n’s) arms off of him, when he heard a choked sob, followed by wavering lips and free flowing tears. “It’s not fair..!”

“Why are these feelings coming back..?! Why now! ....I rejected you, there’s...there’s no way you’d like me now…! Especially how fine and buddy-buddy you’ve been acting, it’s clear you moved on! Why do I always choose to like you at the worst times?! Why…”

(Y/n) sobbed, tears cascading in the air as he shook Kuroo up. Kuroo was about to open his mouth again when it ran dry, as (Y/n’s) grip on his shirt tightened even more.

“Why do these feelings always come back when you’re done with me?! When you don’t like me! It won’t leave me alone…! I waited and waited and waited and the one chance I had I threw it away…! But then I just had to love you again when you moved on!”

He melted into a pile of hics and violent sobs, grasping onto Kuroo’s shirt for dear life. Kuroo couldn’t find the words to speak at that moment. He hesitantly put his hands on (Y/n), stabilizing him as he cried into his chest.

“S’not fair...it’s not…” (Y/n) hiccuped. “Not fair...it’s alway you...why do I always come back...to you…”

Kuroo stayed silent for a second. (Y/n), once again, wished the wall would swallow him up. Kuroo then trailed his hand up to (Y/n’s) damp cheek, guiding it up to look at his face.

“When have I ever said I was over you, (Y/n)…” Kuroo’s voice was soft, gentle and scared of shattering the glass that was (Y/n). “Actually...as iffy as it seems...you saying all of this made me sorta...happy…”

(Y/n) sniffed, staring at Kuroo with raw eyes and waiting for him to go on. Kuroo stroked his face with his thumb, catching any stray tears falling from his eye.

“I’ve been really, really sad since you rejected me...I guess I was just that good of an actor since you didn’t notice how much I thought about kissing you and holding you like this everyday while we hung out as ‘friends’…”

Kuroo let his head loll back onto the metal pole rack behind him. “I was just pretending to be happy being your friend—when actually I just wanted to tear my eyes out and scream how much I love you, (Y/n).”

Kuroo gently grasped (Y/n’s) hand, giving him a tentative kiss on the knuckles. (Y/n) scrubbed at his eyes with his free hand, before cupping the hand resting on his cheek. Kuroo looked up from his hand. “This ok?” He asked. (Y/n) nodded with eyes red and numb from crying.

“Then how about this?”

The hand that was resting placidly on (Y/n’s) face brought him closer and closer until their lips met once more.

Kuroo snaked his arms around his waist, pulling him in closer until their bodies were touching. (Y/n) suddenly understood why people described kissing as melting, because every single square inch of his body dissolved into his. He felt weak in the knees, and all of his guilt, all of his regret washed away with each passing second he was in Kuroo’s arms.

Eventually, the two separated for air, half lidded eyes and staring into each other like one would disappear the moment they took their eyes off of them.

Kuroo buried himself into the crook of (Y/n) neck, inhaling deeply. “Aaaaah, i’m so happy right now…”

As Kuroo nuzzled into his shoulder, (Y/n) couldn’t help but think about how much of an absolute mess this whole thing was. Sobbing onto Kuroo, violently shaking him while screaming in his face about how much he loved him, before kissing him again in the corner of a dark storage closet. It was a mess, sure, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

And that was something.

——————

Haha..pls...giv serotonin in the comments or reblog tags or smth...would like...to hear...

#kuroo fluff #kuroo x male reader #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro imagine #haikyuu kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x male reader #hq x y/n #hq x male reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsuro oneshot #kuroo angst #haikyuu male reader

669 notes · View notes

networksupported · 2 years ago

Text

clickonmedotexe:

The grin alone makes Rex want to smack it right off his face, and Cas’ snarky comeback doesn’t do anything to lessen the urge. At the same time, Rex is itching to lean in again and kiss him senseless. He can make good on his promise to repurpose every single one of those twenty four hours Cas has before he fucks off to whereever he’s been these last months.

But he falters when Cas’ reply properly sinks in. Rescue mission. How had he known they were planning a rescue mission - one that had never properly taken flight? Rex had been busy with his family and his new kid, Thursday had been busy dying to kick the plan into motion. Neither of them managed to pick up where they left off, but Cas was far from forgotten.

Rex’s grip loosens and then he does step back, letting go of his sort-of-ex-husband. He ignores the insults completely.

“Where were you?” He demands. “Where the fuck were you, Cas? Do you have any idea- you selfish little- fuck you, you’re damn lucky I’m not sending you right back to the hell you just crawled out off, you piece of shit.”

Forget about kissing Cas again, Rex wants to wrap his hands around his throat properly this time and squeeze until he comes up with a satisfactory explanation. As if ‘I’m dead’ is the equivalent of 'I forgot to call’, like Cas decided to die on purpose to spite everyone he knew (Although, Rex thinks angrily, it sounds like something he might do).

Dimly he is aware his rage only exists because he, no matter how much he might try to deny it, genuinely cares for the very same being he tormented, gaslit and nearly murdered.

He cares for Cas. He missed him. He has complicated feelings that teeter between I want to kiss him and I want to give him a slow death.

He decides he’s going to do neither of these things and instead go for the third option. Before Cas can think of running from him, Rex has closed the distance again. He doesn’t grab him nor does he attempt to strangle him right back into Hell. His arms wrap around Cas’ now smaller form and then he just…holds him.

“I should kill you.” Rex mutters into his hair. “But all things considered, I am happy to see you again.”

cas stiffens instinctively at the touch, not wholly nor entirely sure quite where the attempt was truly going, and frankly, not too liable to trust a man who'd just spent a good few seconds calling him a piece of shit, and a good few hours/days/months/years going around and torturing people to within an inch of their lives. but he's desperate- very desperate, desperate to the point that he never would've come here otherwise- and the moment it becomes clear this hug is simply that, it's all cas can do to not push those thoughts from his head and simply melt into it. though, this time, it's rather more a simple will of self-preservation in a different sense-- nobody, nobody in their right mind, or even most people out of it-- would have been willing to put their face anywhere that close to any item of rex's clothing.

sure, maybe it smelt slightly better than it had before- as in, one was able to actually smell it instead of having to wear a hazmat suit and stand approximately three miles away where the fumes would still somehow be able to reach you, but that only placed it on a level a little above a fetid dungheap populated in frequency by the grilled corpses of several dead skunks, and cas had to admit he wasn't particularly fond of those either, even as a lesser evil.

> yeah, well-

he responds, voice choked with emotion and the fact he's trying desperately not to breathe too much through any orifice.

> i do appreciate the sentiment. i'm... almost grateful to see you too. really appreciated that you think i went to hell, by the way.

cas continued, somehow managing to sound hurt (albeit rather mockingly) at this completely true and valid belief.

> i've done nothing but be nice and help people, and you go around assuming things like that, you bastard. fine. maybe i won't tell you anything about it then.

he sighs (a very unwise move, considering it now meant he had to inhale at some point).

> no, yeah, no, you're right, of course. but my point still stands. i didn't come here looking for help to get myself out of that place. i, uh- i want you to get me in.

he somehow manages to sigh on top of that sigh.

> i want you to kill me, rex. that's why i'm here.

#:CONTINUE:#clickonmedotexe #oh god i didnt think through what to tag this #tw implied suicide #??#partially?#ideally? hypothetically?

9 notes · View notes

catxsnow · 4 years ago

Text

BACK TO YOU W.W.

Request: Could I be so bold to request a Wally fic? Where he comes back after his "death" (lets be real we all know he is not dead) and Y/N reacts to it? Could it be fluff, angst, a little of both, that's up to you.

P.s. I love you 😊😊

Warning: angst, mentions of death (wallace), fluff

A/N: hello, good evening, I’m tired as fuck.

I’ve been thinking about a taglist lately so if there’s interest I’ll start one. I always suffer when I make it for some reason but if the people are interested I will suffer for y’all.

Word count: 2.3k

Wally coming back from the dead seemed surreal.

The hope you had for his return never diminished, even if those around you gave up long ago. Wally wasn't dead, he was never dead - he was just stuck in a place that no one could save him. Not Barry, not Bart, Not even Jay. Wally was the only one that could save himself and he had done it.

Broken, battered, and barely breathing he had made it out of the Speed Force. He had made it back to you. It put everyone into shock to see him collapsed in the middle of the team's headquarters. His suit was barely hanging to his body, eyes sunken in with exhaustion. He barely looked alive.

It took weeks to get him nourished back to health. Weeks of him being in a coma, wondering how the hell he managed to get back home. Sleeping at his bedside every night because you were scared this wasn't real or that he would be taken from you again. Long nights of crying because even if he was back, was he even going to wake up?

By the time that he was back up on his feet and running around again, every single league member had come to see him. Those who gave up on him, those who never lost hope, even those who never knew him.

Wally West was back.

Unfortunately, it seemed that a lot of him was still missing. His smile that once never left his face hadn't resurfaced once. The laugh that you remembered so clearly that got you through so many hard days vanished. The light in his eyes when he was running or saving lives was dull. He wasn't the same man you knew.

He teetered around you like a stranger even though every night he told you how grand his love for you was. You noticed him bumping into furniture that had moved from his time away or looking at pictures of people he didn't know with tears in his eyes. He stood by the window, watching for nearly an hour, just staring into the void every other day.

Wally wasn't all back from the Speed Force. He had lost a part of himself in there that he could never get back. Dick tried to fill in the gap of time that he missed, catching him up on everything that he missed but the moment that he came back to you he seemed more zoned out than ever. M'gann excitedly told him about her engagement with Conner, Kaldur with his new position in the league.

Everyone tried to make him feel right back at home, but no matter how hard they tried it would never be the same. Wally lost that time, and he was never going to get it back. He could never make it up to his friends for missing so many important moments in their lives or the grief that he put them through.

No matter how fast he ran, how many hours he stayed up wondering if things would have been different that day, none of that would change the fact that he had been missing for five years. Guilt plagued him, fear of being stuck back in there, he was in a constant state of terror because it was so damn easy for him to be lost the first time.

Nightmares woke him up every night. Sometimes he would lay there staring at the ceiling for hours without you knowing, other times his screams would echo in your room and wake you. Tears streaming down his face, clinging to you like his lifeline. Horrible dreams filled his mind of being pulled back there - or seeing his friends taken instead.

Those moments were the only time that it seemed Wally was willing to open up to you. It was the only time that he treated you like a lover rather than a stranger. Only when he was most vulnerable did it feel like he was truly back home, safe and sound with you. Whatever was holding him back from being open to you, it broke your heart.

Wally was always the one that you could go to when you had your issues and now that you couldn't do the same for him... it was hard to accept. You didn't want to push him into relieving his memories where he was stuck or asking the wrong questions to get him upset. Saying nothing at all didn't seem to be working either.

Dick noticed it, Barry, Artemis, even Garfield was worried. No one knew what was going on inside that head of his and he refused to go to Dinah - or anyone - for help. Everyone was worried.

You told them of the times that you woke up to him vibrating the entire bed, still asleep and a pained look on his face. Or the time that he would be perfectly fine before suddenly speeding around the house like he had no control over his body. Wally had become unstable with his speed - and maybe his health too.

"Love you, baby," Wally mumbled out.

He had gotten back from his hangout with Dick to find you sprawled out on the couch. Whatever they had done must have put him in a good mood. The moment that he saw you, he sped over and practically dived into you. His arms kept him hovering over you so he could lean down and kiss you properly - something that he always seemed to avoid since being back.

He found himself cuddled into your chest, arms snaked around you. For the first time since his return, you saw a genuine smile on his face. It was a sleepy, half-smile, but nonetheless, you were excited to see it. His eyes drooped closed the second you started massaging his scalp. He hummed with content as you eased the tension that had been piling up.

Half asleep, shoulders loose after weeks of being tensed at every moment. His heavy breathing was audible and you could feel the warmth of it against your skin. It had been years since you had seen him relaxed like this and it quickly brought tears to your eyes. Wally had been through so much, he deserved happiness, he deserved to have peace in his life.

"I love you Wally, always," you whispered. Silent tears spilled down your eyes - you wanted him to find his joy again, no matter the cost. "I never gave up on you, my love. I knew you'd find your way back home. Fuck-" your voice cracked, "I was so lost without you. Having you back in my arms like this was the only thing keeping me going.

"You mean everything to me, Wally. I know that you did what you did to save the world but..." you sighed. It was impossible to say that you wished that he hadn't done it - or that someone else should have taken his place. "I'm so relieved that you're safe now. I know you've been going through a hard time, and I've been trying my best not to push you - but if you need anything you know I'm here."

You waited for him to say something - anything. Wally was struggling to open up to you but seeing him in a good mood like this may have been the best opportunity to get him to say what was on his mind. Unfortunately, his silence made you worried.

It wasn't until the sounds of a soft snore did you realize that he had fallen asleep on you. His body had become completely dead weight, arms no longer tense around you. The security he felt being with you had lulled him to deep sleep in a matter of minutes. Although you weren't in a comfortable position, seeing him at peace was well worth it.

"He's getting better."

It had been months since Wally had been home. The process of getting him back to his mental state before entering the Speed Force for years was going to take a long time - but he was well on his way. Being with friends, family - finally admitting that he needed to see someone to talk through all this - dramatically helped.

The original team decided to put together a little surprise birthday for Wally. He said he didn't want anything - but they had several year's worth of get-togethers to make up for. So, you and Dick plotted together to throw something, just with his closest friends. Nothing overwhelming.

Although he originally complained about the gesture, he quickly found himself appreciating the effort that had been put into that evening. The food, the people, he forgot how much these moments meant to him. Seeing the smiles on everyone's faces again, that was the best gift he could have asked for.

He stood on the other side of the room with Conner and Dick - all three of the men were laughing their heads off about something. Artemis stood by your side, watching the three of them just as you were. She handed over one of the drinks in her hand to you. Everyone in the room had been deep in conversation with someone - besides you. She noticed.

"He is," you agreed with her.

"Why're you by yourself?" She got straight to the point. Artemis didn't bother with the small talk or sugarcoating her question. She waited for your answer, watching as your gaze turned from Wally, to the now interesting cement beneath your feet. "(Y/N)."

"Everyone's helped Wally so much and I can't help but feel like... Like I haven't done enough. Wally was always the person that I could lean on and now that I'm the one that has to be strong for him, it just feels like there's more that I could have done to help him. I never had the same bond that you all had with him being on the team and risking your lives, I don't know what it's like enough to help him through this trauma.

"Wally deserves the world and a lot of the time I feel like I can't give it to him. I'm not a hero, I don't have powers, I'm just... normal. Maybe that's not enough for someone who can save the world before I even finish breakfast," Your fists tightened at your sides as the heavy realization that had been clouding your mind was revealed.

It was clear that you were the odd man out in the room. Everyone there had risked their lives to saved the world and what had you done? Wait anxiously at home for your friends to return? Grieve at the losses that you couldn't have changed? There was nothing that you could do in the hero-life besides sitting on the sidelines.

"You do a lot more than you make yourself believe, (Y/N)," Artemis placed her hand on your shoulder. She glanced over at your boyfriend, wondering how different it would have been if they ended up together instead. Wally would have been unhappy, he loved you from the beginning.

"Wally can't stop talking about the support you give him. He wouldn't be where he is today without you. Men are stubborn - especially speedster men - they won't always admit how much they need someone. He gets this look on his face when he's talking about you like you're the whole reason for his existence. Don't put yourself down for not being stuck in a hero life we are - your love for him is the only power he needs."

"Thank you, Artemis," you forced a smile at her. Although you didn't believe her words at the moment she was right. Your love for Wally was the most important thing that you could ever give him, and that was going to have to be enough for now. Every ounce of your love went to making him happy.

Before she could say anything else, a familiar breeze washed over you both. Wally was suddenly standing right in front of you - and as if Artemis wasn't even there, brought you in for a deep kiss. His lips molded to yours, hand pressed to the small of your back to keep you close.

"I love you, (Y/N)," Wally barely pulled his lips from you. Conner had heard everything that you were saying to Artemis, and although he felt as if it wasn't his place to tell, Wally needed to know. A need to be with you, to assure you that you had done more than enough to get him to where he was, filled him.

"Across every galaxy, every universe, the Speed Force, no matter where I will always find my way back to you. I'll love you through everything," Wally pecked you once more. "Thank you for never giving up on me, babe."

"I'll never give up on you, Wally West. Not even the Speed Force can keep us apart," you grinned.

"Get a room already," Artemis complained. You had forgotten that she was still standing with you. It wasn't just her - the entire room was staring at the both of you. Smiles on their face at how happy Wally was with you. His little move had caught the attention of everyone and he just adored it.

Wally laughed at her comment. He swooped you up in his arms and sent a wink your way. He was already gearing up to speed you both out of there before saying his last bit to Artemis - and everyone else in the room.

"Don't have to tell me twice."

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