#i just think it'd be fun and have interesting consequences

[transingthoseformers]

Animorphs x Transformers crossover but all someone can think is "wow, so earth has to deal with the yeerks AND decepticons?? Goddamn😔"

[unoisveimved-un-proffesional]

I think I'm going to have kids just for the funny/thematics. Because listen okay, my last name I got from my mother, and she got it from her mother, making this a matriarchal family name. My grandmother of course got her last name from her father, but her line is the most current one that bares his last name. He had 5 kids, 4 girls, the 3rd child being my grandmother, the 5th one being a boy, and last I checked, great uncle Jimmy doesn't have any grandkids. Since my mother "had no daughters," that's the end of this matriarchal era of the family name if either I or my brothers have children, right? Wrong. I believe I have the opportunity to do something very funny and, dare I say, thematically cohesive in the future.

[andhumanslovedstories]

I've been running this writing experiment lately to cut out phrases like "I felt" in my fiction writing. Like I was looking at a sentence in a draft that said, "he felt as if character's eyes were pinning him in place." And then I was like, "well, does he think that or is it true? As a result of this person watching him, he's froze. It's not like a thing, it is that thing."

Oh and "almost"! I'm always going, "He felt almost relieved that it hadn't happened." Well, did he feel better that it didn't happen or didn't he? Or "somewhat", I'm always going, "she felt somewhat perturbed."

And like none of that is wrong, to be clear. I don't know if it'd improve your writing, I don't even know if it'll improve my writing, but I use this sentence structure all the time so every viewpoint is from a voice that thinks about what it thinks, hedges its statements, and offers the same ability for wry little jokes formatted in the exact same way. And I have a lot of writing like that and I think (!) that they're good, but read as a whole, I'm like, "god, they all sound the same." Like there's one melody that I write songs to, so even with different lyrics, it's almost (!) the same song. Something I've been struggling with in regards to my writing and why I've felt so blocked is how boring I found writing my usual way. I'd read something and enjoy the individual parts of it, but then I'd step back and I didn't like the whole. And I got good at this enough at seeing that I didn't like it to do it in real time as I was writing, which as you can imagine didn't improve the process of writing because now I was bored AND dejected about being bored.

There's this sentence-level structure fact that I use unconsciously. A pattern I find easy is short sentence, short sentence, short sentence, long sentence. So I write that. "He [verbed]. He [verbed]. Then he [verbed]. As he [verbed] to his [consequence], he [verbed] that [noun] was [statement of condition]." Which could work, it often does make for a nice rhythm, but it's something I reach for often because it's easier for me.

Just last sentence, I originally typed, "I find it easier for me." But if what I mean is "using this pattern is less effort than another pattern," then it's easier for me. One voice is hedging its bets and the other asserting. Either is fine! But they're different! And, again, GOD you would not believe how many words I've cut out of this paragraph as I write it. I'm so chatty. I love using twelve words when six will do. And that gives my writing a specific tone to my ear.

So if I am bored of that tone, why not try using just the six words? Why be understated? Why be afraid of stronger opinions? So right now with my fiction, I'm experimenting with cutting out as many self-reflective words as I can. Sometime you do need to draw attention to the face that this is the character's interpretation, but like you definitely don't need to do it as much as I naturally want to do it. You don't need to always go out of your way to allow the possibility that the narrative voice is wrong. During editing, I trim the weaker ones (I originally typed, "what I consider the weaker ones" Is that more accurate?). But I think them being there in the first place shifts my language which shifts my character's which shifts my plot. It's sentence structure all the way down!!

(this barely applies to my writing on here, btw. i try to do good but yknow this is a tumblr blog. i'm not trying to get a lit mag to accept it.)

Anyway blah blah (chatty!) the point is I've been trying to write in a way opposite of my interests. Something that doesn't take itself too seriously, that emphasizes EMOTION and ACTION instead of minimizing it, and that clips through scenes at a good pace. Doing this been amazingly fun. I've been having such a good time doing it. I am writing so much because I really enjoy doing it. The process of writing is so fun again.

This post is about two things. One is my new mood stabilizer and therapy day camp. The other is about the benefit of pretending to be MXTX.

[demonic0angel]

So far ever since the new epic musical album came up I've been seeing a lot more people come up with the idea of the god games but Danny Phantom

And I was just imagining how funny if in that song Dan was Aphrodite and Danielle was Aries

I'm about to get more as Danielle being a goddess of trickery and chaos of all types and can being considered to be three-faced like having like a three-faced mask that she wears around a lot and using her ability to melt as a way to appear behind people vastly without them noticing and she's really protective over Dan since she considers herself to be his older sibling because in her opinion he came in the family last

Dan being the ancient of love being so terrifying because love can also be considered to be a scary thing with his symbol being eagles and stuff and he is much more terrifying and violated the most people expect from the god of love but also when he needs to be complete and loving

I imagine Tucker taking up the sense of being Apollo with him being The reincarnation of an old pharaoh they're kind of being like a lots of Egyptian things around him but also like a theme of more technologically advanced with him working on a PDA all kind of having modern clothes on with hints of Egyptian pharaoh

oh and Sam acting like Hephaestus would be more interested in the plant she has in her garden then the heroes her clothes are kind of nature-like invite but also give all of a sense of golfness with like her plant giving off the shape of a large Palace that looks terrifying on the outside but the inside is filled with plants of all types

I imagine Jazz has like a therapist like setting office but like it's a open Greek palace like things of gold and bright blues and just being laid around it looks like an conference room but also like an open Palace I feel like her simple animal being Wolf's and bears would be so funny also be a hint to the little bear plush that she owns

I kind of feel like Danny's level would be a mix of Jazz's and Sam's with Danny's being like an open Palace room that kind of has like the hints of someone young is there with random bean bags being scattered around or miniature handcraft spaceships but also stars all around I feel like it'd be cute if his symbol animal was jellyfish which like jellyfish Stars kind of like float around

But I've just been imagining that song with Danny Phantom x DC I can probably start off with the Justice League like always getting into something this year now than having to deal with the consequence of it and the consequences is six teenagers taking a vote or not to kill them

Gods, I can’t wait for the Vengeance Saga

I am in love with the idea of Dan being Aphrodite and Dani being Ares, especially bc they’re both gods of war. And in EPIC, Aphrodite’s argument is about a mother’s love!! I hope you like the quick sketch of them :3

I don’t agree with a few of your ideas, but they all seem really fun. The idea of the Justice League having to argue against 6 teenagers is funny, bc imagine that they think they can argue against Dani and she just stabs them. Meanwhile, Jazz is like: so how did you feel when you got stabbed? when they come to her later to argue against her.

Actually, I also had thoughts about DP x EPIC, except Sam and Tucker were Odysseus (they shared the role idk) and Danny was Penelope. Jazz was Athena, Dani was Aeolus, and Dan was Scylla 😩

[stinkrascal]

TRANSCRIPT

picture 1 Caleb: I like her, Lilith. She's... quirky. Lilith: She's going to get herself killed.

picture 2 Caleb: Maybe she wants to die. Lilith: And you're alright with that? You'd allow that? Caleb: How could I stop her? I don't know her. It isn't my choice. If she wishes to be turned, and doesn't fear the consequences, who am I to tell her what for?

picture 3 Lilith: You'll let someone as misguided as her make a decision she can't possible understand?

picture 4 Caleb: That's quite an assumption to make.

picture 5 Lilith: ...

picture 6 Caleb: Hello? Vladislaus? Are you home?

picture 7 Vladislaus: What do you want?

picture 8 Caleb: We found a human in the forest. She wants to be transformed. Vladislaus: No. Kill her. Leave me alone. Caleb: Vladislaus, I—

picture 9 Lilith: Why don't you kill her? It's your territory, isn't it? Is it not your job to dispose of threats?

picture 10 Vladislaus: I'm busy. Leave. Caleb: It'd be a shame to kill her. She's just a woman.

picture 11 Lilith: She's a girl. I assumed you would jump at the opportunity, Straud. I know how much you favor feasting on teenagers. Caleb: Lilith! Stop it.

picture 12 Vladislaus: Throw your tantrums, child. Bite the hand that feeds you. I expect no less from you. Lilith: You have done nothing for me! Caleb: Lilith! I said stop it.

picture 13 Lilith: Of course, you take his side. Caleb: I'm not taking sides. You're both petty. Might I talk to Vladislaus alone? Lilith: That depends. Will you come home tonight?

picture 14 Caleb: No reason, being combative. I'll be home soon, I promise. Lilith: [ scoffs ] I'm going to check on Breanna. Don't keep us waiting.

picture 15 Caleb: ...

picture 16 Vladislaus: ...Would you like a drink? Caleb: Um, no, thank you.

picture 17 Caleb: We meant no disrespect keeping her. I planned to eraseher memories and send her away, but that's when she asked about being transformed. Vladislaus: I see... what's your interest with this girl? Caleb: No interest, just doing what she asked.

picture 18 Vladislaus: It is a lot of trouble to endure for a stranger. Caleb: More trouble killing her, I reckon. Don't really want a woman's death on my conscience.

picture 19 Caleb: Plus it might be fun having some new blood around. Vladislaus: You sound very intent on having this girl. Caleb: Do I? I don't think so. I'm only doing this 'cause she—

picture 20 Caleb: Are you... blushing? Vladislaus: No. Caleb: Ah, c'mon now, don't tell me it's like that. I thought we nipped this in the bud? Remember? Vladislaus: There was nothing to nip. Caleb: Yeah, exactly.

picture 21 Caleb: So you got no reason, being jealous. Do you think I bed every person I meet? Vladislaus: Don't be crass. Caleb: Not being crass. I'm not like you.

picture 22 Caleb: I think with the head on my shoulders.

[heavenlymorals]

How a Modern Perspective Skews Historical Characters: A Mini Rant on the Hatred of Female Characters in RDR2

This isn't that organized cuz it's more a rant than a retrospective but fuck it it's my blog, I do what I want-

There are so many people who have actual hatred, not criticisms, for Abigail, Molly, Grimshaw, Mary, and other female characters in the Red Dead universe.

And honestly? I find it very interesting. Sure, men will probably always find a reason to hate a female character, but what I find interesting is how many women also hate these wonderfully crafted characters.

It could be so many reasons as to why this may be the case but honestly? I think it's because people forget that they CANNOT analyze this game authentically through the modern lens of morals and behaviors. This game takes place in 1899 America. Let me say it again. This game takes place in 1899 America.

One more time, just for good measure- this game takes place in FUCKING 1899 America. Women had to be dependent on men because otherwise? They'll either be in poverty, exploited, killed, or all three. There was also the honor system. When had to be the moral high ground for their family so them messing up has consequences on their fathers, mothers, siblings, cousins, and anyone connected to their family name.

Abigail getting pissy at John for getting in trouble all the time? If course it'd feel annoying if you're looking at it through the modern perspective but when you don't, it's a woman telling her man to act like a man and be careful because if he doesn't, she and her son will be destitute and destroyed.

Mary not getting with Arthur but using him? What's the likely hood that the law would bother to help Mary when the two people she needs help with are her father and brother- two grown men who can make their own choices that she literally can do nothing about because as a woman, it wasn't her place to dictate what they do. Arthur was her only option. "Girl, what her family thinks doesn't matter, she still should've gotten with him" girl no, because it's much harder and difficult than that- it's like tearing away an entire identity that you depend on to fucking survive.

"but what about Sadie? She was also living during this time period and she isn't drowned by societal expectations-"

Seriously. Do some research, read a book, expand your knowledge of gender roles and what that entails for people because it explains so many things about these characters in such a human way. They aren't "bitches", they are women of their time and people have to understand that.

No. Sadie isn't a part of this discussion because though she is a fun character and an amazing character, she is a mishmash of historical women who did masculine things to survive at one point but then went back to traditional roles, even if they did occasionally go back to to those old activities for sport sometimes, like Anne Oakley or Calamity Jane. Sadie's entire character is basically "but what if they didn't and committed to the nontraditional lifestyle". There are many inconsistencies that Rockstar did regarding the time period that they established earlier to accommodate Sadie's character better. Sadie is a great character but she doesn't belong in this discussion.

Edit: Ok, since this was a rant, as mentioned previously, I was a bit too rushed with the Sadie aspect of this post and ignored some crucial details. I'm not gonna change the post besides just this though. @hillbillyhipster84 made some great points that Sadie was a reference to Appalachian women and real outlaw women who did run and were accomplices in men's crimes, that I was too ignorant to mention prior beforehand because I didn't do much research. I still don't believe that People should use Sadie to bash the other women though, because those women mentioned above were not the status quo and thus were more trivialized because of it.

So many cultures still operate like this too so if anything, you're just learning something new about another culture.

But I swear, anytime someone talks shit about these characters, y'all got me looking like this-

[thechibilitwick]

As an honorary Shidou apologist, I am breaking my silence. I’ve finally decided to go on a rant on why I don't think Kirisaki Shidou is an organ harvester.

(fair warning I like absolutely suck ass at organizing my thoughts, so if some of this is incoherent or if it seems like i'm repeating myself my bad 😭 I mainly wrote this for fun)

So, I'm aware that this theory is the most popular consensus when it comes to Shidou (and tbh, I think part of it is because a lot of people kinda look over him? Like at least a tiny bit more than the others, considering a lot of people also don’t realize how his main victim was probably his son and not his wife, but I digress) (plus I think all milgram characters are looked over to a certain extent). While I do think parts of it are probably accurate in some way, I don't think he was a full-on organ harvester (as in he actively stole from patients through illegal means. emphasis on actively) and that the theory in and of itself is flimsy at best. He's morally questionable, yes, but it’s more in the sense that he’s a somewhat apathetic guy who lacked understanding on how his own set of morals and values (i.e. pushing for organ donation) could be seen as wrong. So if he were an organ harvester, wouldn’t he be aware that it’s illegal? That’s what confuses me whenever people bring it up. I don't actually doubt that he may have done something illegal for his family's sake, it’s just that I still highly doubt it was something he actively did. And that seems to be what a lot of people think when they refer to the theory. (if i’m wrong please forgive me, i just assume organ harvester shidou = people think he did it as a job)

Anyways, more under the cut for those interested (it's a bit lengthy my apologies)

It then kinda trickles down to how his guilt stems more from the consequences of his actions rather than the actual action of taking organs. The root of his guilt comes from the realization that basically asking families to pull the plug and use their loved ones' organs for donation is a very, very hard decision; one that he kept pressuring for. If he was an illegal organ harvester, and was aware that his actions were in fact illegal, why the hell would he feel so guilty to the point that he’d start having suicidal ideations? That’s the key difference between his profession and his possible criminal activities; one is a burden both emotionally and morally, the other is more or less a literal burden. And based off of Shidou's character, he seems to be much more emotionally affected. That's also why I think a lot of people jump to the conclusion that his guilt stems from his actual actions rather than their effects. (does that make sense oh lord i am going ☝️🤓 so hard rn)

I get that some parts of his MV or lyrics seem to be suggesting that, but also it’s important to note that Shidou has a very strong bias against himself and definitely painted himself in a negative light. I mean, that's why he thinks every single preceding patient before the final incident is a victim to him, why he shows himself staying professional in a professional setting as apathetic (minus the pressuring part), and why he literally equates his job to STEALING. Not only that but, imo, it's also a little too unrealistic and might not actually fit the criteria of Milgram. Milgram is for crimes that are in a morally grey area. So if it really was organ harvesting, is it really in a grey area? (though I guess you could say that doing it for family's sake would be, but that's only for his family. He'd have no reason to do it otherwise). Plus, it'd make more sense and fit the theme of touching upon social issues (i.e. abortion, bullying, societal standards, mental health, etc.) if shidou’s entire dilemma was in regards to (albeit questionably done) organ donation, a complicated ethical topic in Japan.

Throw Down actually gives a pretty good rough idea of Shidou's thoughts towards his crime and his feelings in regards to it. He felt like he was blinded by his own values, and that inadvertently caused him to be unaware of the suffering he caused through his job. It really does shock me that he somehow was able to pull-off getting a forgiven verdict in T1 because he certainly comes off as cold and uncaring in regards to his work.

I think the final bridge in Throw Down kinda summarizes his entire mindset, actually.

​​Now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display Wishing you for someone else's sake With the same expression no matter who comes I don’t feel scared because I don’t know

Shidou doesn't quite understand the feelings of his patient's families, and therefore he acts remorseful and sympathetic more than he actually feels. Why? Well, because he didn't know. Up until that point, he never understood the weight of his actions, and focused on his role as a doctor. "This is an upsetting subject, yes, but it's for the greater good, right?” A braindead person has little to no chances of living, so why not use this as an opportunity to donate their organs? Moreover, as a doctor I believe it’s typical to be "emotionally detached” (for lack of a better word) since I’d assume becoming emotionally connected with a patient would make things at least a bit messy.

His mindset comes crumbling down though, presumably because he experienced the same or a similar situation. This part remains muddy for me, since we don't know much about what the actual cause for Shidou's guilt is. There are several possibilities, with the most plausible ones being:

he lost his own family member and had to go through with the same decision,

he tried to save a family member using donated organs, but failed, making it seem like everything he has done as a doctor was in vain

(a secret third option would be him making someone he cares about make that decision but it's very unlikely and also requires too much mental gymnastics)

But no matter what exactly he did, it all trickles down to the validity of his morals. After realizing the pain of losing a loved one, the struggle of trying to save them, and the unfortunate failure which left all efforts practically pointless, Shidou would understand the actual weight of his actions and why all those families were so reluctant to let go of their own.

This is even more evident in his T2 voice drama, Asclepius.

"In order to save the life of someone you don't know, please let me kill your family," I told them. It doesn't even take much thinking to realize how cruel that is, but… I didn't realize it until the very end.

This is the gist of Shidou's crime, or at least part of it (considering he says "Well, about halfway" when Es asks if their judgment was right). Again, this tells us that Shidou's guilt comes from the act of the effects of organ donation rather than the literal action. And this also implies that his "murders" did in fact have to do with being in a medical situation, it's just the way he went about it was at the very least morally questionable.

I will also acknowledge that he says he killed for selfish reasons, which most likely relates to trying to save his own family member. Here he could possibly have actually done something illegal such as tampering with patients or illegally taking their organs (latter is a stretch imo). Plus, his distorted T2 voice trailer line is literally "You're in the way, hurry up and die" which would only make sense in the context of waiting for a patient to die. But it could also just be him continuing to pressure for organ donation, but now with his own selfish motives.

Going back to the "halfway" comment, while I personally believe it might have to do with how Shidou views his crime as more than just taking organs, it more likely implies that something else happened that Shidou would consider murder. That being the actual death of his family member. It's implied through Throw Down that he was trying to save someone but failed, which he was responsible for. Then from there it'd make sense to assume that he would feel some form of guilt for the rest of his patients, either for the reason of failing to actually utilize donated organs even with the opportunity of being able to save them, or for just realizing the what it actually feels like to have to give up on your loved one. (does. does that make any sense.)

So yeah, I don’t think he’s an organ harvester due to what’s known regarding his crime, the reasoning for his guilt, and with the way he is as a character. The most I’d personally believe is that he decided to harvest organs for the sake of his loved one, but even that seems like a stretch to me. Thus, that is why I believe Kirisaki Shidou is not an organ harvester.

Anyways I’ve rambled on long enough, thank you for reading if you did and remember to drink water and vote shidou innocent in trial 3 because i will shit my pants if he doesn't get inno

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 16 Thoughts: Aave Maria

This was an interesting one. I don't think I loved it but I do think there is a surprising amount to dig into. I also think this is showing more of the form of TMP. A bigger focus on a rogue's gallery and unlike TMA is more more in the thick of it to start with. We're not piecing together an unseen world, we're in the world and getting our bearings.

Spoilers for episode 16 below the cut.

It's really great to see some immediate follow up on Alice's run in with Drowning Victim. I was a little worried it'd be something she pushes down and ignores like everything else in the job. Because she didn't I think there might be a change in her perspective. Previous she's been very uninvested in the specifics of the cases and now she's basically been in one I do wonder if it'll effect her work. We definitely saw more of a reaction from her from this incident than we've ever seen before. So I'm wondering where that will lead her. I'll also be interested to see how this ties back into the Institute. The Drowning Victim is obviously connected but it makes me think Connor Dyer (found in CHBD, see master sheet below) might not be her dead name. I wasn't a fan of the idea of both main protagonists having the same backstory but the way she alluded to the death of her parents here makes me think the Institute might have had something to do with it. Not that I think she knows that but that the narrative placement of it might be laying the groundwork for that connection to be revealed.

For the incident itself I don't have a load to get into I don't think. I thought it was pretty effective in showing Madame E to be kind of a tool but then giving us more and more reason to be sympathetic towards them. Ink5oul's first voiced appearance was remarkably understated too. I was expecting them to feature more here but I think I'm glad they didn't. As I mentioned there is more of a rouge's gallery here and with a couple of really loud characters already it's quite nice to see one more understated than that. They've got a bit of an M.O. forming here too. Part ironic "punishment", part graverobbing plagiarist. DIG. Which does lead me to wonder about how they'll end up kicking the bucket. It feels like a set up waiting for a punchline. The way they give the "clients" what they're after in a twisted sense has a lot of room for interesting stories so I'm interesting to see where that goes. It's also interesting just how similar this was to Daria's incident. Very similar incidents overall but to different ends. What I think is a more interesting concept in those is how it totally differs from the tattoo that showed up in Marked. The tattoo in both of Ink5oul's works have been afflictions on the tattooed but Marked's tattoo was something that affected those that viewed it. Whether that's a consequence of they're plagiarism or a different "school" of tattoo technique remains to be seen.

Also fun fact: from.vision.ruled really is a location in Highgate Cemetery. There is a map app called what3words that is a grid of 3 metre squares over the globe and then each square gets a three word code. It's so you can give a more precise location than something like an address or broad location. So in this case you don't need to say "Meet me outside the Circle of Lebanon in Highgate East" you can say "Meet me at from.vision.ruled" and get a more accurate location. It's great if you want to meet people where there isn't much or any signage, point people towards the entrances to places when it's not obvious from a address, and stuff like that.

Post-incident was really great too. It's lovely to see Lena be so clearly angry and lose her typical collected nature. Not only because it shows she's got range but because it really hammers home just how scary a character like Lady M. is going to be. Gwen not taking her shit for it is also great. I think bringing Lady M. to the OIAR as a power play was pushing it hard but I also think Lena treats Gwen like shit and needs a lesson or two as well. This power struggle they've got going is always captivating to see and I can't wait to see more of it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet (Now with terminology/theory cheat sheet)

DPHW Theory: 1565 is about where I was expecting this would end up. 1 in Death in an episode where someone died already seems to be a sticking point for people. I personally don't understand that particular framing. Every Power in TMA had a massive body count but only one of them was the Power about death, and not all of them focused on stuff that'd outright kill you. So while a person did die this episode it's not an episode about Death as a concept/theme/subject.

CAT# Theory: CAT1 is very interesting given how the other tattoos have been placed thus far. But I'm going to leave that for the time being. I've got an essay in the works about the current more common CAT# theory. Should be out over the weekend.

R# Theory: B seems about right for this. It's weird and publicised but, ostensibly, medically explainable. So it happened and we can agree it happened but it's just an unfortunate illness in the eyes of most.

Header talk: Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac is interesting in the same way the CAT# is so I'll leave some of that for later. What I do want to talk about in that subsection. Influencer as a subsection is intriguing because it's very unlike Smirke's methodology. That was fairly rigid but Influencer in this context is such a modern term that it implies this methodology is reacting to how things change and express more rapidly, or it's not as old as I think has been implied so far.

[farshootergotme]

About Robin Jason...

Thinking how, when you actually look into it, among the Robins, Jason is the one who had it easiest.

Yeah, he was killed, and it was a horrible death... But Robin!Dick has died as well (to be revived in the same issue, but still, he felt it happen) in at least a couple of the Silver Age comics.

Not just that, Robin!Dick has been, in his history, held hostage by literal monsters, tortured, beaten almost to death, buried alive, got demon possessed, had to flee from a possessed Batman and Alfred... Silver Age comics are...quite something else.

Either in Gotham or with the Titans, Robin Dick has (a couple of times literally) been through hell and back.

Jason, on the other hand, was on relatively fewer really dangerous missions - mostly because he debutted during a time popularity of kid heroes was waning and the writers pretty much sidelined him.

It's not talked about much, either in-universe or out, since Dick came out of it...well, not alright, but as 'alright' as anyone in their line of work can expect to be.

He's one of the best, one of the most beloved/trusted. He's one of the best leaders, most reliable teammates.

He went through hell and came out a bit scarred, but without its taint on him.

Imagining what Jason thinks about that... He will never admit out loud, but objectively he knows that Dick went through far worse situations than he did.

Of course, trauma isn't a competition, different people have different breaking points...

But would Jason think of it in that light? Imagining Jason looking over the past Robin adventures... Thinking about how he broke so easily in comparison to Dick...

Wondering whether Batman's mistake was not letting kids be Robins, but letting him be Robin, because he clearly couldn't take it...

This makes me think about how many times I see characters saying "Those times were less dangerous, back then..." But were they really? Or that's what it looked like since these kids who went through hell kept pushing through and came out of it with a smile on their faces? Are there less scars because they look brighter? Or is the ugliness of it all hidden behind the strength with which they carried those hardships?

As you say, pain isn't a competition, and I wouldn't dare say who had it "better" than who. But I will say a lot of Dick experiences and traumas as Robin are overlooked. It wasn't all fun and laughter for him nor for his teammates. It just looked like it because (in-universe) the whole young heroes thing was new, and nobody looked deeper when the surface was already impactful enough. However, as years passed and they got used to it, they started looking more closely, noticing the much-too-old look on these kids faces and all the responsibilities they had on their shoulders. And (in reality) older comics were about that, comedy. Humor and drama that was solved within an issue to then start a new adventure in the next. It wasn't common to see the consequences of such traumatic events since it was more about what was happening now than what had happened earlier.

Or at least that's what I think.

As for Jason... Interesting thought there. You're saying Jason, finding out about everything Dick, the first Robin, went though and still came out of it 'alright' (as you put it) he'd think "Maybe it wasn't him, but me" since he's the only Robin who died and came back 'wrong' from that. The only that let it affect him so much (even though he shouldn't feel ashamed of that, as we all deal with pain differently).

I can't describe exactly what his thought process would be as I'm not an expert about his character. But it'd be interesting to see how he'd deal with this.

Thanks for the ask!

[almightyhamslice]

BITTERGIGGLE REDESIGN!!!!!! I'm so stoked abt them it took me AGES to figure out how I'd even draw them!! The only complaints I have abt canon Bittergiggle is that his death was pathetic n his arc was rushed! I do like him as a character though! Definitely my favorite companion compared to the other charz who follow you around in the games.

In my AU Bittergiggle is a circus performer like Banban and Banbaleena are, but instead of an acrobat, Bittergiggle is a clown. They do funny stuff and make people laugh! They've always been very envious of the acrobats, they think it'd be fun to jump around like that (even if their costumes aren't built for it...) so they "train" by parkouring around the lower levels whenever they can.

My Bittergiggle was created by the scientists with human male DNA and marketed to the resort as a boy character, but gradually decided that wasn't who they wanted to be. So, they're nonbinary! Maybe genderqueer actually? I don't think Bitter knows the definition of the word nonbinary n isn't rlly aware of the LGBT+ community beyond overheard conversations from park guests, but feels a sense of comfort that maybe they could pursue if the resort were to ever reopen.

As their main purpose is performance, they go about life in a very performative way-- it's like the opposite of the truman show, Bittergiggle is sure everything of the resort is one big performance, and the other mascots are performing as they are. Consequently, Bittergiggle doesn't think much of how dangerous certain things might be, and though they have a sense of right and wrong, they deliberately ignore it if they think it'll make things "more interesting". And, in their mind what's the harm? It's all smoke and mirrors to them, they could never actually hurt anyone right?

Bittergiggle is very kind towards their fellow deep underground mascots and is a people pleaser who likes making their friends happy. They especially want to make Queen Bouncelia happy, ESPECIALLY after her surgery! So they created a bunch of 'helpers' with Syringeon's guidance, a handful of little clowns to entertain Bouncelia and keep her spirits up! Bittergiggle was also tasked with delivering Bouncelia's medicine, and doesn't understand why Toadster gets so upset whenever they do!

So it might be a while until I start writing proper story for this but just know, it will NOT be laughter that kills Bouncelia in this AU, it's a lot more complicated and sad than that.

[batsplat]

if you were to direct a motogp movie (or make a one season of television) what season or rivalry would you make it about? and more interesting what artistic liberties would you take? it doesn’t have to be a straight up biopic bc imo those are often boring, instead it could be something like velvet goldmine (1998) aka fictional characters whose real life counterparts are pretty obvious, veering in like rpf territory. anyways👀

did you know. one time this guy put a curse on this other guy. and he never won a race again

anyway, look, I do feel like by this point that's the BORING answer from me, but obviously it's where my mind first went. I'm not sure I'd actually want it out there in film form because by now it's badly enough remembered that it's like, my cute little niche story, and I think there's something fun about the Wider World even within the motogp fandom not exactly getting how bonkers the whole thing was. (I know other humans have canonically watched motogp 2004 but I swear even journalists have forgotten some key key details and it's kinda annoying but also fun.) bold words from someone who's been blogging about it!! weird gatekeep-y instinct. but basically my job here is done as far as outreach is concerned - I wrote a very long post, now I get asks about it twice a week that allow me to think about it some more with the four other people who care, perfect balance. that rivalry doesn't need to go mainstream!! the whole point of it is that it's kinda cruel but narratively pleasing that it's gone under the radar, because it's another sign valentino won. but obviously, I cannot literally make a film about this, so the hypothetical repercussions I think maybe we can put aside for a moment here

okay I came back to this bit of the post after I increasingly got into of the spirit of coming up with dumb ideas, but it did make me flesh out what I'd even WANT from something like that. I'm with you anon, a lot of biopics are boring!! if you want to just know what happened, please just literally go and 'watch the races' and 'read books' like what are we actually getting here. you kinda want to give it a purpose for existing, right, a way of portraying real/mildly fictionalised events in a manner that is also taking some kind of stance on the material AND is doing stuff you can't do 'in real life'. thing is, look, you could make 2006 into a film, and I'm sure it'd be perfectly nice because it's fundamentally a solid underdog story (well, inherently winning a title with repsol honda is NOT being an underdog but you can write it that way), but also what are you doing beyond just telling people what happened? I feel like that generally about single seasons, they're not really doing anything for me. I was also turning around the biaggi/valentino rivalry in my head in part because that's the one valentino gave as his answer for 'rivalry he would turn into a film' (marc big wet eyes sitting right next to him), but like. a film about that rivalry from valentino's pov is fundamentally not something I'm interested in. you have all these isolated very memorable moments that make it work as a rivalry, like you can absolutely spin them into a dramatic yarn that goes through the genesis of their conflict to middle finger gate to punching gate to assen + donington + sachsenring + phillip island 2001 and it's basically *insert rousing music* successful coming of age. at most you can lean into the fact valentino became successful at being a dick. like idk it's fine but also what's the point? valentino is challenged in a sports context by biaggi, he's challenged because he realises his words have consequence and the press actually reports the words he says to journalists (the horror), but he is fundamentally not challenged on a personal level. that's the entire point, right? it's the ultimate comfort zone rivalry - biaggi is a dick who it is quite easy to hate and also reacts poorly to valentino's initial provocation. the animosity escalates and it is inherently fun to beat him. valentino is mean to him, but it's not like he even really crosses any lines to beat him. like you can make it into a film, and if you twisted the material a little bit you could make it satisfying, but I don't want to!

now the way the writing process of this post worked was that I was going to breeze through a bunch of non-sete/valentino rivalries and explain why I think some of them don't work for our purposes here, but then I ended up writing myself into changing my mind. so my take on the biaggi rivalry is that actually, you CAN make it work but it has to be from biaggi's perspective. basically, I think you've got to amadeus it (a web weave I have been thinking of making at some point btw). so,,, it's a meditation on talent and how unfair it all is, maybe minus the bit where salieri poisons amadeus (I know that doesn't happen in the film) or dresses up as amadeus' father to, y'know, make him write a requiem on his death bed. and it's not amadeus in that HERE, the clown prince gets a happy ending! but it's more like, in thematic terms, I think you have to zero in on this bit. biaggi didn't have parents who shoved him on a bike when he was three years old, he didn't have parents who were invested in his motorcycling career (or even necessarily particularly invested in him), he started the sport late and discovered that, yes, he did have a prodigious amount of skill in it - but one that he started honing far later than valentino did. he approached his career with a sort of grim resolve, surly and irascible and not interested in making friends with any of his competitors but very, very good. he goes away from the race track and dates all these models, he irritates fellow riders, he's not part of the gang and he's happy about it. he's very successful! four 250cc titles, wins his first ever race in 500cc at a time when doohan was very much winning everything. he's also just like,,,, an interesting and spiky enough character it's not hard to make him come alive

but then of course you have this gradual emergence of the amadeus character, the one who challenges his established position in the court of,, well... motorcycle racing, and also as the guy italians rooted for! and valentino's obviously, y'know, in so many ways the exact opposite from biaggi, and he's super young and cheerful and lively and is doing all his silly celebrations and is being a bit camp and goofy and treats motorcycle racing as a party (you really want to lean into the culture clash here, like in amadeus it's because you have stuffy austrian court vibes but here it's because everyone is having their bones broken every two minutes and just how... kinda grim a lot of motorcycle racing was). and he's also this innocent! yes, he insults biaggi, and yes, in retrospect we know valentino is kinda evil, but at the time he was a kid with a big mouth who was a little taken aback by how that biaggi feud sort of escalated beyond what he'd actually intended it to do! and biaggi just, hates him. and I think, sorry to the real man max biaggi here, but you've got to play with how once they're actually competing with each other, it's miserable how there's just this unbreachable gulf in talent. like, whatever biaggi does he cannot win! he isn't going to defeat valentino over the course of a full season! which is depressing and horrible and CRUEL, because there's this inevitability to the whole thing... and also! because valentino doesn't DESERVE it. and you don't have to go full salieri pleading with god to explain how god could give this CLOWN all this talent, but it's kinda the same vibe! how is it valentino, who is constantly just having a laff and canonically maybe wasn't the biggest gym-goer in the paddock and is just generally seen as, y'know, a bit of a dandy, this foppish clown who everyone loves and who doesn't have to work hard to be good - how is he the one who is winning so much!! it's miserable and unjust... and I think how you portray this is that you really emphasise the kinda, repetitive nature of the defeat. like, I think you probably want to make this into a non-linear narrative where all this biaggi backstory is communicated somehow but you don't just start it when he was born or whatever - you start it in 2001 when they're competing for a title and already hate each other. and then you heavy on the time loop vibes. the whole cinematic language and all that other shit should emphasise how all these weekends are structured in exactly the same way and if you're losing to this one guy, all these different weekends can start feeling the same. it bleeds into each other, it feels inescapable, you're trapped in this narrative you can't change... worst of all, you even return to the same places again and again - like play with that! biaggi keeps coming back to where they had the fist fight, to where valentino first insulted him all those years back. you play up the disorientation and the misery of it all, plus biaggi canonically gives us all this kinda messy freudian shit to play with like how he was dating 'valentina' and his relationship with her was falling apart because of how miserable valentino was making him. it's all there!!

ANYWAYS the way you conclude this story is!! welkom 2004!! so again we can artistic license this a little bit and, uh, ignore sete (though I do also think it's fun if you lean into biaggi being displaced as a rival and staring at them being friendly and happy with each other from the outside) - but the key bit is that valentino is finally making the big error. biaggi wasn't winning titles on a yamaha, since he left yamaha has gotten worse, now valentino is making this big mistake out of his own hubris. language of cinema that shit and make everything brighter and more hopeful.... the time loop is finally over, biaggi has escaped, this year will be different!!!! everyone in his circle agrees, valentino is fucked. step off the plane at welkom (pre season testing didn't happen in this universe) and it's literal dawn of a new day... staring out at the sun and finally, biaggi can move on, can live a new and different life. anyway. obviously we all know what's coming next - you have this big dramatic climactic race where biaggi throws himself at valentino again and again and again and he comes so close to winning it... but he doesn't. and you have valentino living his best life, being delighted, but the film is focusing on how like,,, we're bleaching the joy back out of biaggi's life, how actually he's returning to what he already knew. and it ends on the podium, with the camera focusing on biaggi on that fucking second step or zooming in or whatever (idk how cinema works) and it just finishes on this shot of biaggi dead-eyed in a bleak world, trapped again for eternity aka until the end of the 2005 season. done!! I'm not sure this is quite what valentino had in mind, but. well. that's how I'd do it

this is from the pushkin play from 1832 not the 1984 film but like. low key pushkin already kinda nailed the essence of sports rivalries in the 1830s and we just have to acknowledge that sometimes

right. so the casey rivalry is where I'm going to go completely off the wall. skip this bit to get to the slightly saner stuff. this is also one I fully admit to sometimes playing around with in my mind anyway, but. uh. I'm gonna be taking this one in just. well. places. I do have a vision here but I also don't quite know how to explain it in a way that doesn't make me sound like I've lost my mind, but well if you're still reading this then that's on you. so lemme get this out of the way: the classic sports biopic formula would work well with casey. if I had to point to a single rider I would sports biopic-ify, it's casey. so you have all this kinda,, obvious adversity that's easy to get across, and it's a narrative you can follow chronologically without too much trouble. you've got all the childhood stuff, the australian racing club not letting him join them, the move to britain, the rising through the ranks, it's also this very biopic-friendly 'nobody ever believed in him apart from like three people' stuff. and the premier class is also narratively satisfying, from the rocky rookie season to the kinda shock success to then all the lows of 2008 and 2009 and the physical ailments and the anxiety and then the switch to honda and the title and then him deciding to retire... that's all good stuff! you can absolutely biopic-ify it! gun to my head and sure, I can walk you through exactly what bits of his life I'd focus on and put in what order and so on, and I think ultimately you could make a very good sports biopic from that

[some mild gore to follow in this next section]

but also. thing is. that's fine. it's just not where I want to go here, because again I feel like at that point you can also pick up his autobiography and just read it - because what you're basically doing here is just filming that. and I get how this stuff works, you're bringing the story to a wider audience, you can show stuff in a different way in that medium etc etc, and that's all great but also I don't care about bringing stuff to a wider audience. I care about doing fun stuff in my brain. so what I'd actually do here is just, basically, go in the exact opposite direction and ditch all the realism. genuinely, ditch the live action stuff, we're going animated - what I'm interested in here is stuff where we need to be able to fully suspend our disbelief and lean into some surreal shit. I'm not going to bury the lede here: my idea is that you take that thing where casey said he hated how ducati was ruining the bike by letting valentino's yellow encroach on it and, basically,, just go all in on that bit. like come on, that is so singularly visually evocative, it truly captures a lot of what's going on thematically in that rivalry. (see also x and x for the most relevant casey posts.) casey sees valentino as the malevolent force, this infection! he associates him strongly with a specific colour, one that can be sickly or unnatural or just... evil. malignant, malicious, malevolent, all the m words. to casey, valentino is a personification of everything that is wrong with the sport. valentino is literally the walking manifestation for so many of his issues, from the dangerous riding to the lack of respect to the lying to the cult of personality to the obsession with image and the media to the backroom games to the politics to the injustice of how different riders are treated differently, like!! he's literally all of that! this is a topic for another post, but this plays out in a lot of kinda, weird and funky ways where it's a two way street and sometimes when casey talks about motogp you go 'actually I think that's just valentino?' (btw he also does this about 'europe' right I don't think those are europeans you hate casey that's literally just valentino) and sometimes when he talks about valentino it's kinda? this feels like it's about a little more than the bloke himself? and basically, right, I think you need to take this to its natural conclusion where casey used to admire him and look up to him and want to emulate him on track and then gets disillusioned when valentino's worshippers turn against casey and casey is the one to bring valentino down to earth and... listen, I think you need to play around with valentino being a literal god. and I think you need to have casey stab him to cover up the yellow on the ducati with blood

okay. look. the idea here, right, is that we're basically making the subtext text, and just digging into that process of 'bringing valentino back to earth', of taking on a god and having the audacity to succeed, and also treating valentino as this sort of. infection in his own mind. the bike is literally being infected!! casey may have left the ducati but he STILL has some fidelity and love for this project, those were his people he worked with, and now valentino is coming in and just twisting everything around himself!! but also I think how this functions is that, okay, so you have all this normal stuff that's the actual 'plot' in the 'real world', but the ISSUE with the real world is that there's a lot of stuff that just. isn't possible there. like the thing casey wants in that rivalry but is never going to have is... a captive audience. a big problem casey has in that rivalry is that he doesn't get the chance to actually say a lot of stuff to valentino. he starts using the media more and more and plays the game on valentino's level, but there's still this disconnect where mr straight talking is the valentino rival who valentino never really blanks or freezes out like... there's a disconnect! there's valentino the person, who casey never quite figures out how to just straight up hate, and then there's valentino the character, the racer, the rider, the god who casey DESPISES. but when they're doing small talk at pressers and podiums, casey doesn't get to talk to that version of valentino! he just talks to valentino the person, who obviously isn't literally a different person but is also not going to explain to casey where he's coming from, is he, and also isn't someone who casey can explain to where HE is coming from. and that gulf... it does bother casey. I don't think he can quite verbalise why either, but there's just... this creeping tension. I think it'd be easier for casey if valentino really were more of a caricature, just kinda a dick in all walks of life. and there's just these canonical hints of that... the way casey talks about how he's sure valentino as a guy is fine, but he never knew valentino like that, the whole 'I'd like to go with valentino for dinner to tell him where I was coming from in that rivalry' thing, like!! it's there

so basically EYE think what you should be doing is using the wonders of storytelling to actually. embrace that element. and just leave realism behind now and again. valentino is a god, he is literally worshipped, he's part of this pantheon that casey is trekking to reach. casey is brave enough to take him on in combat, he is the first one who is truly able to draw blood. he sees how valentino isn't just a god of joy or battles or speed or the SUN or any of that other stuff - he's a disease, an illness, a god who is also a false prophet... the worship never quite goes away, because who ever truly gets rid of their valentino rossi complex, but casey eventually is given the chance to face a chained valentino and kinda,,, ritualistically publicly humiliate him using the ducati as both this sick thing that has to be 'cured' and this symbol of valentino's failure. I'm sorry, visual language goes brr here, like chain him up, do weirdly eroticised torture idc!! (psst psst valentino's fucked up shoulder also extremely goes brr here, casey low key a teensy bit weird about valentino's injuries? his thing after the 2010 leg break where he goes 'why's everyone making such a big deal about this other people break their limbs too' and then after 2011 jerez immediately asking whether valentino's shoulder is okay in just a very obviously passive aggressive way. literally he opens with that, valentino isn't using it as an excuse or anything, for some reason it's already on casey's mind and I would politely contest it was out of genuine concern for valentino's wellbeing!! it's just kinda? I'm so compelled by it? I suppose it is kinda about how valentino's suffering gets taken more seriously than his own? how those absences are received differently by the motogp world? idk I find this fun because casey does know this is one thing valentino can't really be blamed for himself, so it just slips out a bit? but yeah, casey + valentino's injuries, nobody's talking about it but I sure will, let casey get weird and mean and a teensy bit sadistic about valentino's injuries in an artistic manner.) crucially I like animation as a medium here because I think it's easier to lean into surrealism when you don't have to hand hold the audience so much through the suspension of realism, also there's just some imagery you can do in cooler ways through animation where in live action it may just look. weird. (I think you can also do one of those things where you have a live action film with only those specific bits animated but also... why? it just feels like in live action you need more 'justifications' for things, like am I saying casey is having some weird hallucinations and is losing his mind? no I just want to have weird vision sequences ffs.) the colour stuff!! valentino/casey is big on the colour coding as a rivalry, to the extent casey is even, y'know, drawing attention to it in the literal text!! yellow and red are banger colours, valentino is big on imagery himself with all his sun + moon motifs, it's kind of all there to make the easy next step to kinda zany surreal imagery. ritualistic stabbing works better in animation, you can kinda get the blood to like. drip down and overwhelm the yellow illness that's slithered out across the bike

and. AND of course what this entire set up allows you to do is.... give them an opportunity to talk. they can't talk in real life! casey CAN'T give him his real thoughts on anything, and fundamentally valentino can't either. they're opponents. they're strangers who chat sometimes. it's not just that they aren't friends, it's that fundamentally they cannot be friends - because their ability to do their actual jobs depends on a certain level of professional distance. valentino of course does have a decent read on casey, and vice versa, because when you're figuring out how to defeat someone then (if you're valentino) you're looking to play the rider too. valentino's entire approach depends on focusing in on his rivals and attempting to throw them off, to make them unravel. he's watching casey closely!! the entire journey of casey's first three seasons in the premier class essentially becomes like, this god of their world focusing in on him. figuring him out. trying to gnaw away at him. obviously, animation also allows you to go big on the panopticon-y imagery which is kinda fundamental to their rivalry, because of their fundamentally oppositional stances to 'performing' for the ever present cameras where there IS a little bit of common ground in they have both struggled with it. but valentino isn't going to ever say that to casey! casey isn't going to open up to valentino! so if you give them,, you know, a different arena to express themselves, where casey actually has this external figure to talk to (as he's like, cutting him open I guess) whereas valentino actually is put in a position where he's allowed to respond, where he can taunt casey a little bit, where he can interrogate casey's approach and also the similarities between the two of them and how casey has been forced to become a little more like valentino to challenge him... because the thing is, right, valentino is so big on message discipline with his rivals and has completely stopped talking about that rivalry post mid 2013 that, first of all, you have this complete imbalance in who's been telling this story for the past decade, but second of all you kinda don't have a sense of what valentino would respond? idk!! I think this is mainly fun as a thought exercise for me specifically but also I do think it's kinda, digging into some of the bits that make this narratively work as a rivalry, how valentino in this rivalry is actually just kinda... removed. like he's not really emotional about it!! at most he's a bit bitchy, but even that just feels about The Game. it's the most extreme in this regard followed by jorge - but with valentino's other feuds you kinda... see a bit more an unguarded moment, see something a little more real there. the casey rivalry feels so uncomfortable precisely because valentino is a little... inhuman in this one. I mean, if you want to have valentino as some kind of cross between a deity and a monster in any of his feuds, this is the one. casey's just an obstacle to him. idk don't you think casey kinda wants to chain valentino down and stab him and make him see casey a little more... well, I think he should want it and I think it'd be fun to see and get them to talk to each other. ugh and also all the implications of making the faith vs non-believer elements more literal... casey the heretic!!!

there's some obvious stuff here you'd have to figure out, like 'how do you make this work as a narrative even to people who aren't familiar with casey stoner at all' and 'who the fuck do you think the target audience is here' and 'you do know this is not the kind of thing that would ever be made, right, go back to the casey stoner sports biopic like a sane person' but!! I do think it's material you can make work if you're just,,, efficient and smart in how you're actually telling the 'real life' version of the rivalry. also in my head this is. idk. an animated limited series not a film, which then brings in other stuff like 'episodic structure' because I'm fundamentally opposed to tv shows that think they're films. and look, I'm not going to write an entire film script treatment here, I just think a good writer can figure this stuff out. blood on the ducati is the framing device for everything else, simple. lots of animated floating eyes I reckon, first casey is watching valentino and then valentino is watching casey and the whole world is watching them... and it does bleed into real life just a little, where you're wondering whether casey is actually imagining/dreaming this stuff or valentino is or if they both know it somehow... you can get away with more ambiguity in animation. anyway, if you do want more thoughts on this one specifically for whatever reason, let me know because this one I do actually have more on

also laguna 2008 is a bit tortoise and the hare coded if you really think about it

[end of gore]

so. on to jorge. hm. the thing about jorge is that he was kinda writing a coming of age film in his own head, so like - yes, that's what you do go for? you can play it straight and follow how jorge has cast his rivals, or you can pin the whole narrative on the fact that jorge has cast them - the kinda artificiality of the narrative, the way jorge is this storyteller who isn't being recognised as much as he thinks he should be, isnt adequately appreciated. the way there's this three way discourse between what jorge thinks the story is and what the public thinks the story is and actual. you know. reality. I think this is a bit more light-hearted, like you know how the best stories about teenagers take their emotions seriously but also let them be kinda silly? because young people are silly! jorge was silly! he's got a lot of CHARM because he's so cocky and naive and full on and intense and awkward and kinda off-putting and tactless and a bit all over the place and so painfully, painfully young, like he's a good protagonist because that's a KID. but also, obviously there's also a lot of extremely not light-hearted bits of his story - everything about his father, his manager... idk this one's another one where, I don't just want to make it a generic sports biopic, and I'm trying to figure out the clear narrative arc here? I mean, you can point to the end of 2010 and really lean into him choosing victory on-track over popularity off it. the problem with 2010 is that it does not work as a dramatic season, yeah sure with the magic of biopics you can hack at it to shit but also. idk. what are we getting out of it. I think for narrative purposes you want to maybe narrow in, and end it at the end of 2008, with the switching of the numbers this kind of moment of emancipation? but also! this feels like we're straying a bit too far away from the fun sports elements and I don't want to REALLY suggest all the ways in which you could mine jorge's personal trauma in a jokey tumblr post, so I'm gonna move on from this one

the problem is 2015 just straight up doesn't work as a jorge-centric narrative, except in a very kinda comic way that leans into how absurd his role in that season was. 2012 as a season is a bit... y'know, it's fine. okay it's mostly terrible, but that's fine too. but it doesn't have a great narrative hook. which kinda leads you to the problem that I do think the valentino rivalry is more... juicy from jorge's pov, because for valentino, jorge is just kinda? an obstacle? idk he's more normal about it, it's just his job to destroy the guy, you know how it is. but also 2009 does work better narratively from valentino's pov, like it's the build up to catalunya specifically you can dramaticise... idk though, I do love catalunya but my heart isn't really in this exercise because I think valentino isn't really being... challenged here? it's a title fight where he's fundamentally using a set of tools he's already perfected, to beat a guy he doesn't really give a shit about. when the italian press is down on him pre catalunya, it doesn't spark any genuine self-doubt - it's just a handy source of extra motivation. there's no epic highs or lows that season, not real ones. and yes I know I was talking about making valentino who gets stabbed repeatedly to cover up an infection a moment ago, but that reflected real EMOTIONAL truths!! I'm committed to thematic fidelity more than I am to literal fidelity

genuinely I think the best way to tackle jorge is with the jorge/dani parallel journeys... what, film? tv show? maybe show actually - you don't have one coherent narrative Statement per se but you're constantly charting those journeys in reference to each other, really rooting it in their respective points of views, no neutral detached cinematic language like I want everything to be very much written to be from their eyes!! going from one to the other and back again. and you're charting these different journeys, right, and how they both captured different flavours of like... emotional successes and failures. I think it's actually about failure, yeah, about having to accept there's something you can't have and might never be able to get - whether that's universal love or a premier class title or whatever - but Actually, that might not be the end of the world. and during this process, they go from being enemies to tentative friends!! guys who realise they can maybe actually understand each other better than they thought!! this real moment of interpersonal connection. you have all these media narratives and the managers and so on and the fact they're competitors as these built in reasons why they've just been pitted against each other from the start... but y'know, again, it is also just a bit about maturing, about being able to set that aside, about making your peace with defeat and failure as an element of growing up. you can't win everything, maybe there's something you really really really want and you're just not going to get it, but at the end of the day it's kinda... yeah. self-acceptance. idk this is the nice one

so with marc you can go several different ways here I guess, and again he's also perfectly decent sports biopic material, probably second to casey in that category like yeah sure do the comeback story. but also, we do already have a very good self-produced documentary about what he thinks the narratives of his career are? idk this is also just a personal taste thing, I'll leave him to doing all the injury stuff himself, I don't have much to add there. we'll get to the obvious one in a second, but I was trying to figure out if there were other places I massively felt like you need the cinematic touch. and, again, the 2013 season is obviously very exciting!! but also, you have it covered in.,,,, multiple documentaries, I don't feel I have a take their either? his rivalries with dani and jorge aren't really substantive enough to sustain a bit of cinema. dovi... I mean, what are you saying there? what's the arc? I feel like if I tackled dovi, I'd go somewhere else and really go all in with the ducati stuff, and make it a bit more... you know, stark, stripped back, basically just the emotional component of how much he gave to that project and how he managed to beat away one rival after the next and how it all ended up falling apart in a kind of anti-climactic way? he's also good sports biopic material, but in a way I think the marc rivalry is the bit of his story I have the least to say on. so eg, 2017 is a dramatic season, but he's also kinda fine after it? he always knew it was a long shot, he tried his best and he got really close and then he lost. you can't amadeus it because dovi isn't (fictional) salieri. basically, I think what I'm saying here is that dovi is too well-adjusted to feature in this post. though I'd totally watch a film about his 250cc seasons, like it's a bit annoying because HE is the underdog who loses both title fights to jorge, but it'd still be kinda fun idk. I wouldn't really know what to do with the material but if someone made the film I'd absolutely watch it

right then. the thing about sepang 2015 is... yeah, sure, of course you can do it, it already exists as a narrative but... yeah, what are you adding!! idk I always think when you're adapting something, you kinda need to have a reason for it? I mean, what are you doing that's not already there in the footage? idk maybe this is just a sign of having been a fan of this sport for one too many years but to me the idea of sepang 2015 can get a bit boring (or maybe just repetitive) where I need a new TAKE on it to really get into the idea of fictionalising it. like where's the auteur's touch y'know, what can I still add to this!! but it also needs to WORK for someone who is new to the story, which kinda just makes you want to tell the story straight.... y'know the story is strong enough and COMPLICATED enough to stand on its own and it IS good but I don't really have anything interesting to say beyond 'yeah sure that'e be neat'. I can't tell you why, but I also don't think the casey approach quite works here? the idea of providing a framing device with which valentino and marc can actually talk to each other... eh. don't like that. hm. okay wait actually I just turned it around in my head for... a while and I think I've got an idea to make the worst motorcycle racing film of all time. so, my central stupid film-making gimmick here is just. centring the fact we're completely reliant on a few guys and what they're telling us in making up our minds, and our removal from that story and the imperfection of their perceptions and so on. so I think you kinda make a point of... not actually showing the motorcycle racing? like, you always show it by showing other people watching it, you're showing the tv screen rather than the actual racing. even in the cinematic medium, you're centring the theatrical aspects, where you drill it down to just a few characters. valentino. marc. uccio. marc's fuck ass manager. maybe a crew chief or two. keep it limited though, all the others are kept at a distance - you're constantly focusing in on the same few characters. and very early on you basically just like... get them to fourth wall break by telling you, the viewer, with their actual words how racing works for them, what meaning they take out of it - and again it's this remove because we're never allowed to actually feel the racing for ourselves (no helmet cams), and it sets up that as the tragedy unfolds, again and again we're just hearing from them what happened. it's all zoomed in on how claustrophobic the entire situation is, like doing the race direction room after the sepang 2015 is perfect for that kind of thing, and crucially they're only ever addressing the audience because they can't address each other. but fourth wall breaks also obviously draw attention to artificiality! I realise they are very much like, lame gimmick central, but also are these men not inherently about lame gimmicks... idk it's basically the same story but at least it feels like a kinda interesting way of telling it. kinda trite, but cinema allows you to get to the point and let valentino actually play with the camera... so literally take it into his own hands and lead it around and tell the story from his point of view. and you can play with how they do both change in what stories they think they're telling, how they're constantly revising their own stories, how their stories completely clash with each other... like. make them literal narrators. that's my pitch

so. one interesting pattern that has come up with my approaches to these rivalries is that with the exception maybe of the 2015 stuff, I feel like I'm more naturally inclined to treat valentino as a narrative device and centre his rivals. a big part of this is that valentino is a fantastic narrative device. he's kinda. this looming presence in every narrative in this sport where you can just sort of use him as a sort of way to poke away at all these other riders. the monster everyone loves who you are trapped with. BOO!! he's gonna eat you! which is fun! but ALSO, crucially, several of these rivalries aren't that emotionally challenging for him!! again, with casey right, he wants to beat him, but he's not having a crisis of faith over losing to casey. he thinks casey is annoying, he wants to beat him because he wants to win. valentino is casey's foil, but casey is not valentino's. valentino makes for an excellent personal antagonist to casey, but the reverse just isn't true. casey isn't forcing valentino to reexamine his approach except 'ramping up the levels of being a dick on-track' - like, yes, that's a serious competitive challenge, but also valentino is very comfortable in his own skin in that rivalry. sure, you could have valentino have some kind of massive revelation about the casey rivalry, but like. he doesn't in canon. he changes his behaviour towards casey in pretty predictable ways depending on what the relationship demands from his perspective at any given time. there's nothing more there

now, obviously you know where I'm going here. there IS a rivalry where you can make the argument he changes as a result of it, there IS a rivalry that tips him over the line and makes him to do stuff he hadn't done before that, there IS a rivalry that happens to coincide with a period of his competitive life that challenges him both personally and professionally. now, look, I have already talked about the sete rivalry. you know what I think about this rivalry - and if you don't, I really already have told the story here and here and here and here and also here. I think this works perfectly well as a narrative in its own right, and it's one you can tell from either perspective... but you kinda need both. I think again you probably naturally lean towards starting it from sete's perspective and that first proper meeting (I mean, idk if it is their first actual meeting, but it's the logical obvious place you start this story) with sete giving valentino advice during his first 500cc test and valentino just, y'know, ignoring him and being a cocky shit and then crashing. so you get to see sete being kinda exasperated by the whole thing. also, obviously ibiza is like, a key framing device here, like it's the most obvious in-your-face way of tracking their relationship with each other. I don't actually know how often they partied there together, but it must have been at least twice and if the commentators are to be believed it must have included 2003. artistic license and you can add one or two more times, but mainly you want to focus in on 2003 onwards right. so you've got this 2002 one where it's, y'know, high point of their friendship and in the name of narrative efficiency, you establish here that sete is looking to make the honda switch. the emphasis is on how valentino has been winning everything but on the flip side you're getting the first insight into his discontent. and there's a bit of a vibe of, what could you possibly have to complain about? like you are winning so much? so it's late one night where they've had this slightly unguarded alcohol-fuelled moment of genuine vulnerability but in the end it's actually characterised by how... unsubstantial the link between them is, because they wouldn't talk about this kind of thing with each other and they might both be similar in some ways but also don't gettttttt each other. it means you can return there as a location in 2003, where you've just had sachsenring and valentino's dramatic loss but they're still partying together and it's like. obviously In The Air that not everything is quite right... their relationship is already gradually altered and twisted because you're introducing this element of actual stakes and competition (obviously in 2004 they do NOT spend that time together, as far as we know anyway, and you can show them being very much not together at ibiza as a very obvious Oooh Things Will Fall Apart and maybe already haveeee)

and I do think basically I've already said what I think the themes here are,,,, several times by this point, so I'm not going to belabour the point. I think all of this fundamentally works as a narrative with like, minimal massaging and rearranging of the elements for dramatic effect. it's all there already, everything from sete's arc with the [insert non-tasteless way of covering a real life tragedy that fundamentally alters the course of sete's career] and how that leads to sete becoming the challenger and how he does want to win and his eventual downfall. with valentino, you have the element of liberation and self-discovery and... well, growing into your own but also kinda having the narrative drawing attention to how 'growing into your own' can involve becoming a fully realised character who is essentially quite cruel? you have this kind of... build up, right, towards this moment of revelation, where you lay bare who these two people actually ARE at sepang 2004, and then again at jerez 2005. valentino has gone his own way, he has freed himself from the chains of honda, he has embraced individualism and the chance to define himself and his own legacy and stand on his own two feet and not rely on the strongest bike or all this stuff within honda where they chose him as their flag bearer, for better or for worse... like he comes to his own here! he takes the step from 'great rider' to 'legend' because he gets to this dramatic moment of stepping into the unknown, he takes this massive risk that could have cost him so much, and it ends up elevating him. but it also puts him under duress, and in that moment he reveals himself - whatever sete did or did not do at qatar 2004, EVEN IF sete did all that shit, what you are left with is valentino vowing to ruin this man. valentino uses sete to make himself 'better', to fuel himself as a competitor. valentino turns sete into a tool in his own story. and again, thematically you've got all this stuff about how sete was managing the image of the rivalry and how valentino took advantage of that - how sete needed it to remain respectful and valentino was completely willing to abandon that. like, you have two protagonists who really are similar in quite a few ways, who think they have this shared understanding with each other, but when it comes down to it? they end up being super painfully different

now I can go on about this and how to play it straight, basically, you can just do that rivalry and I think it'd be cool and fun and very easy to arrange in a good narrative way. BUT I've kind of already. done that. like I don't want to suggest a film that is basically a nicer version of my tumblr posts. so I want to take this in a slightly different direction, and I think what we need to consider with this rivalry is this: what if you made the curse literal? basically, what's always kinda charmed me about this rivalry is that the curse should not work and all the misfortune that befalls sete after that is so comical that it's kinda... what do you do with that? and the answer is you just lean all the way in. my pitch is this: what if valentino sells his soul to the devil?

so, you know faust, right, and you know the bit at the start of goethe's faust where god and mephistopheles are basically making a wager over how corruptible this one human is. and faust is like... he's kinda disillusioned, he feels that everything he's dedicated his life to in academia is fundamentally hollow, gets very close to committing suicide. and faust has gone a bit new age-y, gotten into all this mystical shit and he's got this pentagram that ends up preventing mephistopheles from leaving his presence in their first meeting... and basically what the devil can give him is like, the chance to attain some true pleasure, and for that faust is willing to bet everything - so if faust can just have that, then maybe eternal damnation is worth it. and look, I'm not going to summarise the entire plot of faust here and it does go off the wall a bit with all the gretchen stuff, but the point is you have this version of the devil who is fundamentally a cynic and is attempting to win an argument with god by making this human succumb to his own nihilism. and what faust basically does is like, abandon his normal life where he's trying to live by normal virtues and goes off on this journey with the devil. and there's this little moment where mephistopheles,,, pretends to be faust and takes on the role of an academic adviser (you know how it is) and seduces this random student away from the word of god and sends him down a wretched path, which ends with this bit:

like, a big part of faust's tragedy is supposed to be about... well, hubris, of the relationship of god to man, of no longer being afraid of the devil... and obviously, this is all framed very much in terms of religion, but at the end of the day it's also about, you know, having purpose - faust is living a life that no longer has any meaning to him, all of his knowledge and studies now no longer fill the void inside himself. his nihilism opens the door for mephistopheles, and is what makes him willing to accept the devil's terms. now, and I am so very sorry to goethe here, I think we have some material we can use here to explore the valentino/sete rivalry. obviously, you can't do a one-to-one, you need to get rid of some of like, the depression and all that - there were times when valentino was feeling 'a bit low' in 2003, but not 'faust thinking everything he'd done in his entire life was pointless' low, yeah? also, unless you want to do a real long view here and even then it can't really be justified, there obviously isn't really a 'tragedy' here from valentino's perspective. like, he wins! this isn't valentino's tragedy, it's sete's! I was being a bit facetious when I said he was 'selling his soul to the devil', and you can kinda parse mephistopheles' motivations in different ways depending on what flavour and what interpretation of him you're dealing with here. you don't 'damn' valentino, you essentially just turn him into a tool of the devil!

so, this is how this works out in my head: the devil works more broadly as the manifestation of competitive impulses, the kind of 'how far would you go to win' question as a bloke who shows up and literally talks to the characters about it (magic of cinema). he's also engaging with valentino feeling like his victories no longer having meaning, with being disconnected from honda and from the entire culture there and just feeling like he's going through the motions. there's this element of like... opening the door to what is essentially a journey of self-actualisation, bringing him closer to being a 'god' but also allowing him to fully come into his own and become himself. to win on his own terms. I reckon ibiza is my preferred narrative device where the devil talks both to sete and valentino there (separately), first literally as a mysterious stranger and then... maybe not? he's talking to them at times of their lives when they're not at ibiza and it's not happening there in the physical world and they both end up kinda having to confront they're dealing with some potentially malevolent supernatural entity. but the important elements of the devil is that a) he's not going to do anything the humans don't actually ask for themselves, and b) everyone knows he's following his own agenda and you should be careful of the requests you make of him. so it's kinda like... essentially, the backdrop of this rivalry unfolding is they're constantly being challenged to decide what lines they're willing to cross. which culminates at qatar... and maybe you do have sete making like. a teensy mistake. a teensy error in judgement, one that is both real and deliberate but he could not have known would get that reaction and instantly regrets. and valentino, who is I think inherently sceptical of the devil coming to offer to help him and maybe does crank out the pentagrams (remember, the whole point of faust is that he was too arrogant to be scared of the devil, or one of the points anyway), in a moment of fury does decide - no, actually. I will take that step. I will curse sete. now the thing is, dramatically this is a teensy bit tricky because when you're talking about being damned by the devil, usually the consequences are a bit more severe than 'not winning a motorcycle race again' (yes, you can get into how sete did also seem genuinely cursed after that, cf his ambulance/bus crash situation, but again we are flirting with being in poor taste in this tumblr post). but the thing is, right, you have to lean into the silliness here! qatar 2004 is inherently silly, a CURSE is inherently silly, like real life is already silly here! you have to engage with the people where they are, and for these athletes all this shit is so heightened that the emotions are full on. like, valentino would've sold that guy to the devil! and to him not winning another race is basically the worst thing that can happen

so, obviously, you get to do the actual curse stuff. curses are inherently campy fun, the devil doing curses is campy fun, getting valentino rossi to crank out the pentagrams is inherently campy fun. you get to play around with this, right, like you know that bit in the brno 2005 race commentary where the commentators are talking about how valentino might as well have a little radio to talk into sete's helmet to remind him of how sete had fucked up at the sachsenring. OBVIOUSLY obviously obviously it is just so... idk scrunchy and fun to have this idea of valentino becoming a malevolent enough force to literally do that.... like damn the commentators did kinda eat with that?? ughhhhhh do you ever think about sete leading the qatar 2005 race for most of the way???? like that's SO fucked up because you literally have articles from about the race going 'hey maybe sete can break his curse' and then the commentators are talking about curses having one year expiration dates but obviously they!! do not!!!!! there's one race where sete goes off track and the commentators are talking about how valentino will surely have smiled into his helmet like that's so fucked!! it's so fucked!! but idk I think basically you have all this creeping curse-y stuff and devil stuff and then you get this twist and then it just becomes misery zone for sete until you sort of. compress the timeline and have him retire without getting into what happened at the end of 2006. and valentino just relishing in all his very worst emotions. and you've got sete who was the better man after jerez 2005, who took the high ground again and again and again and it did NOTHING for him.... and then he's cursed and his career is finished and the devil has had his fun getting mixed in with mid noughties motogp. and now obviously this is inherently kinda dumb and corny and silly but it's the devil!! mephistopheles to me is allowed to get up to dumb shit sometimes, let him have some fun!! idk I like curses being literal idc

I think the obvious critique here is 'this doesn't really feel like it gets the message of faust'. which, yes, is true - and obviously the way narratives are structured, a satisfying resolution isn't 'well selling your soul kinda slaps, actually'. and my statement to respond to this argument is as follows:

this is essentially canonically what happened. valentino DID do something kinda evil and it DID work out 100% for him and it DID kinda slap. at least when you add in the devil, you're making explicit the bit where it is a little bit bad. also, is sports not inherently about selling your soul for success... the story of valentino and sete is essentially about how we are twisted by competition, how pretending that we don't wish ill to our opponents is inherently dishonest. it is about lifting a facade for something that is already inherently there in the souls of men. this is obviously inherently a deeply cynical stance, but this is also a deeply cynical story beyond all the fun battles and camp dramatics. the devil is a cynic and he is basically the point of view character of goethe's faust - he's the one who is positioned closest to the audience. sports is all about living out some of humanity's worst instincts in a relatively low stakes setting, which means we get a free pass to have fun with a deeply cynical story that goes 'maybe selling your soul to the devil is fine, actually'

do I stand by this stance? not really, but the whole fun of storytelling is that sometimes you can just be kinda mean. I think goethe would get it... you can tell which character he enjoyed writing the most

the OTHER way you can do this is centre everything around qatar 2004 as like,,, the mystery box element...... okay look I have now made two posts that go WAY too deep on the 'what really happened' element but I do loveeeeee the whole thing like I would just make a film about that very end of the season and we show it from all these different angles as different characters narrate what happened... like fuck all the riders I want to hear from whichever mechanic used the scooter... the gresini mechanic who gave evidence to race direction.... various honda higher ups the crew chiefs like this is jb vs juan martinez it's war!!! obviously you still have the same emotional/thematic hooks as the general rivalry does but idk I would have a LOT of fun figuring out how to structure that, I loveeee mysteries... maybe I'd write it as a mockumentary yeah..... this one's just fun

anyway. a lot of stuff going on in this post, huh! you can probably tell I didn't edit this much. my classic tell when I edit my tumblr posts is I remember how 'paragraphs' work. unfortunately all I have energy for are like. a bunch of rants about things in my brain. I think when tumblr tells you that you've reached the maximum number of characters per paragraph and you need to figure out where to put a break, it's probably a bad thing? on the whole, my stance is I don't have anything AGAINST mildly fictionalised versions, but for me I'm always more of a.... well I want to take advantage of the full specificity of the events as they happened or just come up with a completely original story. kind of person. I know this ask probably wasn't looking for my 'what if you bled out valentino as he's strung up above a red motorcycle' vision but yeah. with a lot of biopics I'm always a bit 'well you could just read about this couldn't you' like I need stuff to take some kind of a stance on the material it's using... all my stuff takes a stance. that's all I've got. obviously all these stances mean that basically none of these things could ever be made. and I know what I said above but if they called me up to write the casey stoner biopic script treatment, I would also do that. if you've actually read to this point, give me a shout - you're a real one and I love you

[pomplalamoose]

DILF Luke headcanons / story draft pt. 3

🍂modern day AU🍂

A/N: we've made it to part 3, people!!! As always thank you so much for reading, I hope you'll like it🩵🩵

part 1, part 2, part 4, part 5

• he doesn't change out of his work clothes

• and as tired as you are, it makes your heart beat faster when he nevertheless starts to get more comfortable

• he removes his tie and loosens the collar of his elegant button down shirt by opening it at the top

• you can't stop staring at his strong neck, at the spot where his collar bones meet, wondering if he'd like to be kissed there

• if he'd let you

• he settles down rather closely on the sofa next to you, spreading his long legs wide

• his thigh is nearly touching yours and you can feel its warmth even through the blanket you're wrapped in

• seriously fighting the instinct to snuggle into his chest, your thoughts are luckily interrupted when he asks what you would like to watch

• even though you were the one to ask to turn on the TV, you have no idea

• it doesn't help that he's now leaning back and drapes his arm over the sofa's head rest immediately behind you

• if you were to sink back just slightly it'd look like he were holding you close

• is he doing this on purpose?

• you feel your face heating up

• to distract yourself, and maybe him as well, you return the question

• what would he like to watch?

• I think he'd be the type to be genuinely interested in documentaries about wild life, natural phenomena and countries far away

• he also enjoys to watch the news and, when he feels like having a relaxed evening, maybe something like old classics in black and white

• though you eventually agree upon randomly switching through TV channels; maybe you'll find something both of you like

• despite not really being into what the every day TV program has to offer, he warms up to whatever is on when he sees you're having a good time with it

• maybe you are embarrassed to make him stop on something you think looks fun

• he wouldn't say anything of course, but you can tell from his raised eyebrow that he's questioning your tastes

• naturally you have the urge to defend yourself and he softens a lot as soon as you start talking in a more animated way

• this way you most likely end up watching a really stupid reality or game show

• if he's being honest with himself he isn't watching TV anyways, his sole focus being on you and you alone

• really, he'd let anything play if it meant seeing you smile but would never admit to it out loud

• at the same time he's very relieved to see you growing more relaxed around him again

• he noticed how startled you were by his behavior earlier that evening

• he feels bad for loosing his nerves and, above all, that you had to be the one at the recieving end of his raised voice

• it made you cry and he can't stop beating himself up about it

• luckily you seem distracted enough to not dwell on it

• hopefully you'll forgive him

• he can't help the sarcastic comment at the expense of the people on TV

• it wasn't supposed to slip out!

• for god's sake, you're not supposed to think he's mean, that's not the impression he wants you to leave with

• so imagine his surprise and joy when you softly giggle in response

• he's smitten

• what a lovely sound

• he wishes to hear it as much as he can and imagines placing his lips on yours to taste your smile

• instead he asks if you're warm enough

• possibly he uses it as an excuse to rub your arm

• you are, in fact, very warm but maybe he'll pull you closer if you pretend not to be?

• the thought alone makes you flush and faster than you can think about the consequences you speak

• "maybe? I think I'm a bit chilly still"

• he's immediately alarmed

• "you are not catching a cold, are you?"

• quickly sitting up he reaches out to touch your forehead and then your cheeks with the back of a hand

• when he decides your temperature is normal enough, he leaves to make you another tea before you can say anything to stop him

• you are a little disappointed but use the time he's gone to text your friend

• it feels strange, wrong even, to not let them know that you're spending an evening, and apparently the night as well, at their house

• they respond immediately

• just like their dad they're SO worried and for a moment their resemblance makes you smile

• they're not even questioning why you're there, just wanting to make sure that you are okay

• you feel loved

• promising that you are, you ask when they'll be back

• there's something you want to talk to them about in person

• when Luke returns it's quiet for a while

• he's watching you closely as you obediently sip your tea, trying to suppress how nervous this makes you

• hopefully he doesn't notice your trembling hands

• "Your hands are shaking, are you sure that everything is okay? Is there something you need?"

• ah damn

• sighing softly you finally gather up all your courage and ask whether he'd mind if you were to scoot just a little bit closer

• he's response doesn't come as fast as you had hoped

• as his silence stretches on you become scared you went too far

• you press your eyes shut, ready to blurt out an apology when he calmly reaches out to put aside your cup, then beckons you closer until you are comfortably tugged into his side

• immediately you realize how wonderfully warm he is and how very nice he smells

• clean and faintly like the herbs in your tea

• in surprise you blink up at him but his face betrays not a single thought

• meeting your gaze he asks if you're comfortable

• you nod and thank him shyly, trying to stay as still as possible; he mustn't know how your heart is nearly beating out of your chest

• you stay like this for a long time

• minutes pass by unnoticed by you, as the only thing you are able to focus on are his deep breaths and his arm around your smaller form

• and yet, lulled in by the TV's soft voices and Luke's calming presence, you slowly drift off, your head sinking to the side until it hits his chest

• you are fast asleep by the time he starts absentmindedly stroking your hair

• you don't tell your friend about what happened that night until you see them again

• and when you finally do, you tell them everything

• about how you felt when you saw their father for the first time

• about how suddenly your heart beat like crazy when he so much as smiled at you

• about how you not only looked forward to seeing them but their dad as well and how he soon occupied every single one of your thoughts

• you tell them about how he somehow frightens you and draws you in at the same time

• that you can't figure him out, despite how fascinating you think he is

• you talk about your car rides home, about how he held your leg tight from the very beginning

• and how horribly afraid you were, when he estranged himself after slightly opening up, that he'd never look at you again

• how afraid you still are

• finally you dare to admit your undeniable attraction to him

• you apologize for what feels like a hundred times

• you should have told them way earlier

• they deserved to know

• your friend obviously needs a while to digest what they just heard and, to your dismay, you can't tell how they feel about all of this

• they admit they don't know themselves but eventually have lots of questions

• the first thing they ask is whether something happened between you and their father

• did you tell him how you feel?

• did he say anything himself?

• did you kiss?

• or... more?

• they seem relieved when you always answer in the negative

• it's nothing personal, they assure you when they ask you to leave, but this is a mess and they need time

• meanwhile Luke acts as if nothing happened, which hurts your feelings considerably more

• your friend doesn't leave you hanging though and soon invites you out for a coffee

• it's been a long while since you met somewhere that wasn't their house

• it saddens you but you understand

• as it turns out you are about to get lots of information your friend doesn't want to give with their father lurking around

• while they still don't know how to feel about the development of your feelings, you aren't the first to fall for him

• far from it; they way it sounds it seems to be a rather common occurrence

• many came before you, some of them even brave enough to confess their feelings

• Luke turned down all of them

• and not only his child's friends but his own acquaintances as well

• he does not want anyone coming close after what happened to his wife, your friend's mother

• and while this is something you had feared and suspected yourself, it hurts to have it affirmed

• your friend's parents fought a lot

• their marriage wasn't a happy one

• but despite how much they pushed back and forth, despite everything, they loved each other

• Luke loved his wife so much

• he never was the same again after she left, guilt and grieve weighing him down

• one evening the couple got into an especially bad fight, worse than the ones they ever had before

• your friend doesn't know what it was about, their father never told them

• nevertheless they didn't consider stopping on their way home to talk it out, instead continuing through the night

• the weather was awful, your friend remembers, cold and wet, with the streets slowly turning to ice

• their parents dispute slowly but surely spiralled out of control

• she demanden he stop the car to let her out immediately

• not one minute longer did she want to stay in his vicinity

• and as angry as their father was, he still respected her wishes; who was he to deny her?

• so he let her go, and still they were raging on and neither of them looked out

• and the streets, empty a second ago, suddenly weren't anymore

• a truck appeared so fast that even if they hadn't been screaming at each other, they wouldn't have seen it coming

• your friend's mother was dead before she hit the pavement

• the responsible driver vanished into the night as fast as he materialized and could never be identified

• Luke blames himself for her death

• of course he does

• it's his fault his child lost a beloved person

• he doesn't listen when others tell him he's young enough to re marry, to love again

• he doesn't allow himself to let it go

• and suddenly everything makes sense to you

• his cold and dismissive behavior

• the calculated small talk and the immediate retreat after

• his refusals to let you leave the house alone as soon as it gets dark outside

• his insistence for you to sit next to him in the front of the car

• his hand on your thigh and the way his grip turnes to stone when you try to iniate conversation

• his reaction when he found you that night not long ago, freezing and frightened on his front steps

• neither of you know what to say after your friend is done telling their story

• eventually they try to explain that they'd be more than happy to see their father in a relationship again

• it's just...whenever someone even so much as tried to show interest he shut it down immediately

• and every time they lost someone in the process

• they don't want to loose you too

• "You're my best friend, please don't tell him about your feelings. I'm afraid I'll never see you again if he breaks your heart."

• they are not angry at you, just afraid

• and they know so is their father

• "He knows he's the reason for my friends leaving, that's another reason for his odd behaviour. He doesn't want to catch their interest."

• your head hurts but you feel lighter now, knowing that your friend is still your friend

• but...don't they think Luke likes you just a bit?

• only a little bit?

• you mean, did he drive their other friends home?

• did he give them his phone number too?

• what about all the presents he got for you?

• did he turn controlling when worried for the others as well?

• did he even worry in the first place?

• oh also: you didn't imagine how he sometimes finds reasons to stay around for longer instead of withdrawing like he used to, right?

• right????

• he called you sweetheart once, that HAS to count for something

• your friend has grown thoughtful

• "maybe you DO have a point, you know"

• they promise to do some investigation and you agree to meet again soon

[nomsfaultau]

I just spontaneously manifested an au for you. So yk how the whole not-Tommy's character arc is hanging onto Phil being kind and protective? Yeah so what if he actually got into a family where that wasn't the case? For the purposes of this au, it's DadSchlatt au. So yeah, Schlatt and Tubbo. And Tubbo gets replaced by the demon kid. And not-Tommy/Tubbo then proceeds to learn that apparently the blood connection doesn't, indeed, force parents to protect their children. What happens next? Also it'd be fun if not-Technoblade and not-Wilbur still get to sbi and how their story goes on there without not-Tommy.

“Tubbo” picked the mark because it was easier to hide if he was already meant to have spiraling horns. “Tommy” had never expected blood protection to go further than not actively attacking children for the most part, so it wasn’t a shock to him. To “Tubbo” indifference was still godly compared to what he went through in hell. His guard was slower to lower, but also he didn’t have those hackle raising moments of confused wariness compared to with Philza. It would still be a process of slowly learning he didn’t have to be bracing for the hit all the time, and there’d be a degree of finding safety in the cover. “Tubbo” didn’t take Tubbo to be loved, though, only to have a disguise to hide in to avoid the consequences of various heinous crimes. So it kinda went exactly according to plan. Schlatt wasn’t a vigilant guardian, and it was far easier to slip out and cause havoc than with the overbearing Philza. Even better, Schlatt seemed unphased with the violence beginning to plague the land, not drawing his kid closer like Philza would’ve. 

He’d expected the family to eventually notice. “Tubbo” wasn’t particularly convincing, and grew lax with the secret. Why didn’t Schlatt notice? Weeks, months, years, how did he not notice his kid was long gone? Did he not care? 

I’m not your real son. 

“Tubbo” was amused when he finally said it, all jagged teeth and cruel entertainment. An impulsive reveal; he wanted watch for the horror to crawl onto the man’s features. 

You think I’d want you enough to adopt you?

And then Schlatt didn’t seem to remember the exchange the next morning, more concerned with his hangover. Or maybe he just really didn’t care. Either way was fine by “Tubbo”. He liked to toy with the idea “Father” might even like him better than Tubbo, given how passive and meek and pliant he’s been so long ago. Far less interesting than “Tubbo”. But either way Schlatt was useful, ensuring “Tubbo” was an expected, unremarkable piece of the village even as it plummeted into ruin at his hands.

Then one day, “Tubbo” grew bored. He simply walked off, never to be seen again. He didn’t kill Schlatt, blaming his sentimentality on the human having served his use. Because even neglected as he was, apathy was still the greatest kindness he ever knew. The demon integrated into the next family, and the next. Only briefly, once, did he wonder if Schlatt had even noticed “Tubbo’s” absence at all.

“Wilbur” and “Technoblade” were far far better imposters than “Tommy” and were scrambling as their delicate balance was bombarded. The ruse could go on for a very long time, not pressured and panicked about “Tommy” rocking the boat and killing enough people to scare Philza into becoming stricter and paranoid. They’d likely start getting along better, helping cover up for one another. “Wilbur” would additionally be intensive about being a good “brother” to the real Tommy, just like he’s desperate for Philza’s affection and attention. Overall they’re far more chill than “Tommy” and would be far less stressed. 

What eventually unravels the Not-Craft household in the OG is Philza’s unequal treatment of his children. Because part of the reason “Tommy” gets utterly showered in affection in the first chapter is because Philza is scared about the people going missing and is trying to protect his youngest kid. But the building resentment was based heavily on “Tommy” not being real, either, and getting that treatment. With “Wilbur’s” assumption that Philza knew and was still treating him the worst of the imposters, it became something that blew up. But if Tommy were real, and “Wilbur” again unraveled that Philza figured it out…it would just seem natural to him. Of course he loved his real kid more, but that’s didn’t mean he wasn’t treating the other imposters okay. “Wilbur” would be completely content to continue the illusion, although kinda rotting on the inside. Since “Technoblade” would never learn Philza knew, perpetually acting on the assumption he’d have sold them out if so, they’d never get their character development because they’d always dismiss any of Philza’s advice because they wouldn’t trust or respect him. Philza grieved his children, but had far more freedom than in OG timeline. Combined with a lack of transparency, he never developed empathy for the imposters. 

“Wilbur” wouldn’t see his death coming. Neither would “Technoblade,” but they wouldn’t be surprised, either. Just bitterly resentful. 

[arliedraws]

Do you think Harry was in love with Sirius? Something more intense feeling at least than just friendship/fatherhood? Because the intensity is burning across the pages and it really reminds me of being much closer to real love than any mentorship thingy, idk how to say. Now, I don't want to be so brainrotted that any platonic relationship is just shipping material. I wouldn't even say Harry's feelings were the same as the canon romantic relationships like Harry/ Ginny and Ron/Hermoine but being someone's main person, apart from parents and kids (which Harry never really got) is often the husband/wife/significant other

look at the transference in ootp, when Sirius pulls back from giving good advise to Harry and Harry withdraws too, and in the end Ginny helps Harry out with the ,,am i possessed part,, something he asked Sirius before. Later after Snapes woret memory bit, Harry confides no one why he doenst have occlumency lessons anymore but tells Ginny he wants to talk to Sirius. Its interesting to me that, Ginny took over some of Sirius's emotional duties and filled a void after Sirius's emotional withdrawal and and Harry grew in love with Ginny later. I think those are linked but that's me.

Also the books are littered with how often Harry remarks upon Sirius's handsome self so that doesn't really help. If Harry was in love and after the war he and Sirius got on with a quiet secluded life somewhere where they could see the sky, do you think Sirius could have developed the same love in return? I'm into Sirry waters here now I guess, but there's something that just keeps reminding me that Sirius was Harry's true main love, wether romantically or otherwise coded. I don't think it'd ever go into sex or stereotypical husbands sharing a flat like wolfstar is but def more closer than best friends. A secret thied option?

Canonically? No, I don’t think so.

I joke that Harry has a crush on Sirius but unfortunately, I don’t think his constant pointing to Sirius’s attractiveness is actually Harry speaking—I think it’s Rowling illustrating the “waste” that is Sirius’s life. She’s trying to show us the consequence of good looks and too much cleverness, as if to say that Sirius has nothing left. Because Harry doesn’t call Sirius handsome post-Azkaban—only pre-Azkaban Sirius is handsome (lol sure Jan). It’s funny to me how she built some really wonderful, complicated characters but did not really understand who they were.

Anyway, as much as I find Sirry fun, I don’t think Harry was in love with Sirius romantically, but he did LOVE Sirius more than anyone else. You could link emotional closeness with romance, I suppose, but I personally feel that it’s simply that Harry sought Sirius’s advice and support because Sirius is like a father to him.

Now, I could see Harry and Sirius living quietly together as adults, coping with their traumas and simply escaping the limelight for a while. Sirius, in my opinion, is Harry’s parent. The only reason I take to the Sirry route sometimes is when I am feeling feral and want to shred stuff with my teeth.

[vaultlink]

Welp, time to dredge up and finish this post I started like 4 episodes ago and expand it to talk about the whole show. I feel I need to share my thoughts on this now, I can't wait another week for the finale to say anything.

I started out liking this show, thinking it was an interesting and fun premise but my excitement for the show has definitely dropped a bit from when I started. At this point it's a solid 6 or 5, not good but not bad, just annoyingly mid.

It just feels kinda substanceless and without real direction. It doesn't feel like it's been moving towards anything in particular despite having several things come up that could be interesting to explore more.

How Chrome's evil plans are just some small annoyances at best and learning as the show goes on that the reason he's not that great of an evil mastermind is because he's just a decent person at heart.

which would be interesting to explore more... if they did anything with it.

The ambiguity on weather Grandpa Date actually knows and understands what's going on but is just playing dumb or if he's actually just oblivious. Plus the introduction of Chizuko's dad being a fan of Chrome making it seem like it may not have been pure chance that got her dragged into this situation.

which would be interesting... if they did anything with it.

The occasional near misses with classmates paired with her dad being her teacher could lead to some interesting dynamics outside the main cast especially if her being Evil General got out.

which would be interesting... if they did literally anything with it.

Even all the little things with magic we've learned, from the Fossa Magna monthly limit, to the use of magic on non-magic users being a contract related thing, and magic having some tie to emotion. But because Chizuko never uses magic herself, none of this ever actually becomes truly important outside of lore, backstory, or to set up why Chrome can't do shit this episode.

and it'd be interesting... if they did literally anything more with it.

And the things that do feel like they've been moving the story forwards have been happening at a glacial pace. Mainly to do with Chizuko's path to becoming an Evil General and everything.

getting temporary magic in ep2 only for it to do nothing and never comes up again

ep3's misunderstanding with Mashirou gaining her villain name

getting her proper Fossa Magna card to be able to finally use magic proper and also gaining her Magical Girl Evil General Uniform IN EPISODE 9

And finally now, in episode fucking 11, the semi-finale, do we get proper interactions between Chizuko and Berry as herself AND as General Dante.

I mean she does end up setting up fights that are more interesting and even have some level of stakes sometimes but ultimately walking things back because she too is a decent person but many of them don't feel like they're progressing story or character growth that much if at all.

It feels like there's been little to no character development for most of the characters actually. And all the relationshipy stuff have just jokes and nothing more.

Chizuko's fangirly crush on Berry just being a repeated gag almost every episode.

Chrome being vague about Chizuko's fangirling when talking to Berry to keep it secret ending up in her thinking Chrome is the fan. (this is the one thing that actually for real was starting to get on my nerves before they seem to have completely dropped it after keeping it up for like 3 episodes.)

And the whole thing with Mashirou which the show seemed it was trying (and failing) to keep secret only to literally just confirmed it next episode. It was fun getting the hints of Evil Mastermind/Mascot Character(Former Friend/Rival/Villain) Yaoi. Which was dropped almost instantly after the 2 episodes of backstory finished.

But in the most recent episode there seems to actually be things going on, not only the interactions between Chizuko and Berry, we're getting more on Forssa Magna and possibly consequences for Mashirou running off and setting up this Magical Girl to fight back against them. Finally, some progress on all fronts... 1 episode from the end...... .............

also, what was up with that kid and butler that show up for a grand totally of one episode (split across 2 episodes)? Were they just there to steal Chizuko's card once and than have an explanation for where her uniform came from? Is there literally nothing else to these 2 named characters introduced literally 8 episodes in only to never show up again? They're literally in the show's OP?!?! (had to go back and double check and there's literally another 3 characters I don't think I've ever seen in the main show what?)

But with all that said, that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop watching the show. I'm already 11 episodes in and there's still 1 left to go.

Sunk Cost Fallacy lets gooooooooooooo!!!

Ok but joking aside. I might sound harsh on this show but I am actually still enjoying it. It's cute and fun to watch, but in the end it is just flavorless fluff.

A LaCroix Cotton Candy

......

wait actually that's like a super mean way to put it there's gotta be a better way to say that

[bvckbiter]

How do you think peralabeth cope with the trauma of the war? They all had different perspectives/relationships with Luke and its bound to cause conflict between them, do you think it'd be cause for arguments?

YES!!! they do argue, A LOT. this ship is basically just me going "hey wouldnt it be fun if these specific characters' traumas were all in the same room together and they kissed about it" lmaoooo. ta server and i are constantly joking about the different ways these three argue. percy and annabeth by virtue of having been in a long-term relationship can actually de-escalate situations. percy and al throw down w each other while annabaster can have hours-long arguments about ANYTHING (as you can see, al is the problem rogue variable here...)

and luke is absolutely a cornerstone of that! for al, the TA's loss and luke's death has kind of memorialized/pedestalized his recollection of events and he's not entirely the most reliable or reasonable person about it. it becomes a "i was there when he was alive" (al) vs "we were there when he died" (percabeth) standoff. but also, you have a "bruh the dude was a manipulative creep" (percy) vs "he was our big brother so stfu about him" (annabaster). then tying that altogether with all of three of them agreeing (to varying degrees) about what luke thought of the gods... it gets MESSY

how they cope is also p interesting. percy in this situation i think is very much a protective/caregiver role because keeping his partners from imploding means that he won't implode either. annabeth throws herself into keeping everything in her life in order, so she's a grounding voice because without her the two boys will start an apocalypse by levelling a city. and alabaster, as i've said before is quite volatile but he's also crucial in bringing out the hard questions because he fears no man or god or anything and will say what he wants to say, consequences be damned; one of the crucial aspects of percabeth is that theyve been together for so long and sometimes that can mean that it's also hard to talk about traumas theyve seen together in a productive manner... if that makes sense... so al is the external perspective in this case

anyway i think this should be obvious in itself but these three are not exactly the pinnacle of a healthy relationship 😂 but it's probably the best they can hope for so go off besties