#i just think he’s silly

[short666bread]

It’s always “let’s play chess”, “let’s study”… You guys never want to do the things I’m interested in! :(

[anhonest-puck]

i have some neil hcs i’ve been told to post for yall so here they all are under the cut! (there’s so many omgghdhshdjs)

• wears dirty ass converse and sweaters like all the time

• the only ‘nice’ shoes he really has were gifts from his parents or the other poets

• ambidextrous!! mainly right handed, though

• has one specific pen he uses for like everything (probably calls it something stupid like his Thinking Pen too LMAO)

• slim, neat handwriting

• good with kids (to a certain extent)

• his mother taught him how to cook/bake when he was younger

• he’s terrible at haunted houses (the poets went into one once and he was glued to todd practically the entire time)

• he says he hates his glasses but he really doesn’t mind them!

• tired all the time

• chronic overpacker when it comes to road trips/vacations

• he’s def one of those people that sing in the shower very loudly, but it actually sounds good surprisingly (also will recite lines from plays when he’s showering too,)

• almost perfectly straight top row of teeth, but more crooked bottom row

• always cold. he has a blanket/jacket on like 90% of the time

• heavy sleeper

• both a night owl and an early bird (he gets no sleep like ever)

• he probably has carpe diem written on his hand at all times

• The Yapper ™️

• insane sweet tooth

• sleeps with a stuffed animal he got when he was younger (gives him a sense of comfort and stability!)

• “what’s personal space?”

• awful caffeine addiction

• him and charlie probably need to be leashed when they’re out in public just because of how chaotic they are, they’d cause too much damage :,)

• (neil lives au) after his attempt, he made a promise to himself to be a far better father than his own

and that’s all! who knows i might come up with more later hehe >:)

[sonicattos]

every once in a while i think about the enemies in frontiers and that sonic 100% named them since some of the names are stupid and/or don’t even make sense

[skyf0ckz]

[comfycozycrossfox]

not to pick favorites but

so i don’t mean like, your favorite DESIGN, like who’s got the most fun actual character to you

(reblog for reach if you also want to see the opinions here, lol…)

[s1lly-gh02tz]

Why do you like Spamton 😭 his character is so shit and he’s annoying asf and overrated

Im glad you asked

Spamton, full name Spamton G. Spamton, is a Darkner from the Cyber World. He is initially encountered in Cyber City, where he is fought as a miniboss. He is likely based on spam emails.

If Kris helps him enter the Queen's Mansion's basement (either through the LoadedDisk or freezing Berdly), he transforms into Spamton NEO, which serves as Chapter 2's bonus boss on a normal route and the main antagonist and final boss of the Chapter 2 Snowgrave Route. As a bonus boss, he holds one of the Shadow Crystals.

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Shop

After his battle, he appears as a shopkeeper in the Trash Zone. His shop is unusual in that his items are not what they appear, and their prices fluctuate rapidly while looking at them. He is also the only shopkeeper that the party cannot sell items to, with the "SELL" option being replaced with "BUYMORE!!" His wares are:

KeyGen for 0-49030 Kromer/D$

S.POISON for 50-150 Kromer/D$ (sold as "S. POTION")

Broken Sword for 50-150 Kromer/D$ (sold as "THE BIG ONE")

Frayed Bowtie for 50-150 Kromer/D$ (sold as "BSHOT BOWTIE")

Profile

Appearance

Spamton appears as a diminutive puppet and ex-Addison that wears yellow and pink glasses that sometimes change colors and a long-sleeved black V-neck shirt, with black hair that is slicked back, appearing similar to a pompadour.

After becoming Spamton NEO, Spamton assumes the form of the machine he inhabits. The body of this form looks like a disheveled Mettaton NEO with a gaudy pink and yellow color scheme, and a laser cannon mounted onto his hand. Countless green wires suspend him in the air. His pink and yellow glass colors swap places. He also grows bat wings, one side being green, lilac, and purple, the other being yellow, pink, and magenta, and has teal-green and grey thumbs.

Swatch mentions that many people have failed to imitate his look, and some people have even gone so far as to impersonate him. Spamton's slick black hair, multicolored glasses, pointy white face and black suit are noticeably similar to Swatch's outfit, and Spamton admits to it during a live Q&A during the Spamton Sweepstakes.[1]

Spamton's design seems to be based on a number of popular depictions of puppets, having the face and style of dress seen on classic ventriloquist dummies with the nose of Pinocchio. This is also hinted at in his Spamton NEO form when he refers to himself as a puppet, and with the song "A Real Boy!"

Spamton has the ability to increase the size of his head. In his NEO form, his head is constantly larger than usual.

Personality

Spamton was once a natural salesman, always willing to cut a deal. While he still bears a shadow of these traits, his deals are now often nonsensical or violent. He claims that he became a salesman not for the money, but for the freedom to make his own deals. However, he still attempts to scam Kris for money (which he refers to as "Kromer") at every opportunity. His speech patterns are similar to typical obfuscated spam email text, with many words replaced with non sequitur variants in square brackets that could imply incorrectly-applied mail merge variables or hyperlinks, or various voice glitches.

In much of his dialogue, he seems mentally confused and insane, seemingly projecting himself onto Kris, contradicting himself, and saying things which make little sense, without warning. This mental instability seems to clear up briefly after fighting him in his NEO form, as he wishes Kris success with their journey without using broken English.

Spamton consistently spells "generosity" as "genorisity," "guarantee" as "guaranttee," and "special" as "specil," with an exception for the latter at the end of the Spamton NEO battle after snapping all the wires.

Main Story

History

Some time before Kris and Susie entered the Cyber World, Spamton existed as an unsuccessful spam email Addison, overlooked by Lightners and never able to catch a break.[2] Despite his lack of success, he always proclaimed to his fellow Addisons that he would be a "big shot" one day.[3]

Desperate, Spamton began to look for any way to become more popular. Eventually, he came into contact via phone with someone who could help him, and suddenly he began to be wildly successful. From that point on, Spamton was "on the phone all the time," being aided by an unknown person.[4] His fellow Addisons became jealous of him for his sudden success, and stopped going out with him.[5] His success landed him his own room at the Queen's Mansion, and he began to brag more and more about his deals, ranging from TV commercials to cars.[6]

Then, as sudden as his success was, it came crashing down. The stranger helping Spamton vanished, and all his sales went with them.[6] Desperate, Spamton started spending all of his time "praying" in the basement, obsessed with an "artifact,"[7] presumed to be the machine he uses to become NEO. The machine was created by an unknown Lightner with the help of Swatch, digitally visualizing their hopes and dreams. However, those dreams never came to be, and the machine was abandoned in the basement with the rest of the corrupted data.[8]

With nothing left, Spamton was to be evicted from the Queen's mansion. The day of his eviction, one of the Addisons went to visit Spamton, but found he had already left. Spamton had left his phone hanging off the handle. Spamton presumably left in the middle of a conversation, as the Addison could hear someone on the other end, but after putting the phone to their ear it only made "garbage noise."[9] Likewise, Kris's Cell Phone only makes garbage noise when used in the Dark World.

Abandoned by all of his friends, Spamton was reduced to living in a dumpster in a Cyber City alleyway.[10] Despite his fall from grace, the Color Cafe in Queen's Mansion continued to sell his trademark bowtie, albeit with the brand name cut off.

At some point, someone (presumed to be Spamton) attempted to impersonate Swatch by mimicking his monochrome suit and colored glasses, in order to obtain something (presumed to be the NEO machine).[11] Additionally, somebody (presumed to be Spamton) attempted to commission Sweet Cap'n Cakes to sneak into the Queen's Mansion (presumably to grant him access to the machine), but they declined;[12] Spamton later convinces Kris to do likewise.

After asking him about friends, he brings up an individual named Mike. When talking about Mike, Spamton tells Kris not to trust what they hear on TV because "THE MAN'S A CRIMINAL."[13] Spamton also exclaims "ARE YOU GETTING ALL THIS [Mike]!?" at the end of his NEO fight if he is defeated violently, implying Mike may have recorded for Spamton in some capacity in the past.[14]

Chapter 2

Normal Route

Spamton is first encountered by Kris in Cyber City, where Kris seemingly disturbs the garbage container in which Spamton is residing. After a short interaction, Spamton engages Kris in combat as he continues attempting to convince them to accept his "deal."

Later, if Spamton was defeated through mercy, he can be seen again in a shop to the left of the Trash Zone. After Kris accepts yet another deal, he tasks Kris with bringing him an Empty Disk located in a basement in the Queen's Mansion. After purchasing a KeyGen from Spamton, Kris can retrieve the EmptyDisk from the machine in the dilapidated basement. Upon returning to Spamton's shop, Spamton proposes his final deal to Kris: transmitting Spamton through the EmptyDisk and returning it to the machine in the basement.

After Kris places the LoadedDisk back into the machine, Spamton transforms into Spamton NEO, much to his delight and excitement, but is horrified to see that his new form is held up by literal puppet strings. He attacks Kris in an attempt to obtain their SOUL, believing that it is the key to earning his "freedom." Before he can, however, Susie and Ralsei enter the room, and Susie interrupts him by using her Rude Buster spell to knock him out of the way, leading Spamton NEO to launch the three into carts, and battle the party for all of their SOULs.

Spamton NEO can be defeated either by fighting or by cutting the wires controlling him. If he is defeated by fighting, he attempts to continue the fight by turning into "Spamton EX," but his gravely damaged body explodes as he attempts to transform. If the party cuts all of his wires until one remains, Spamton NEO realizes that Kris is trying to free him in spite of his efforts to kill them. He dances gleefully and thanks them, asking them to cut the last wire, only for him to helplessly fall to the ground without any strings to hold him up.

No matter the method, once he is defeated, Spamton returns to his normal form and becomes calm and lucid. He laments how he could not become anything more than a puppet, but compliments the party's strength and wishes them well. He then offers himself to the party, transforming into either a Dealmaker (when defeated by cutting his wires) or a Puppet Scarf (when defeated by fighting). Kris also receives a Shadow Crystal.

[raspberryjellybrains]

I was rereading earlier issues and I noticed that dream has no toes? Just feet with. Sock-like points. So one of three things are happening here: 1. the artist didn’t want to draw toes which is so understandable, 2. DC drew the line not at hell’s BDSM club/speakeasy, but foot fetish material, 3. Dream wears nothing but stockings underneath his robes. I prefer the third option by far and have provided a visual aid for your all’s consideration:

I rest my case.

[nautilus-null]

Dragon boy except he’s different

[dragonselkie]

tiny little bby Alhaitham with his fluffy hair and Wenut toy sitting there with his grandma, and saying stuff like “In the legend of the desert folk, Quicksand Eels and Wenut are all descendants of the giant serpent that once devoured the sun. Although this statement is but groundless, judging from the research on Sand Grease Pupa, it does share many similarities with the body fat of Wenut given their respective composition. It is precisely because of this that….”

[searrise]

i have taken to drawing pm!dazai on sticky notes during classes

[madammobius]

i started watching adventure time a few days ago and i gotta say. ice king is delightful. he makes me laugh and also i feel a little bad for him because he may be kind of a weirdo but he is also just lonely and looking for companionship. i would play checkers with him and he would probably hit on me and maybe throw me in a cage but i feel like if i kept telling him no and was nice to him he would get the picture. i think we could be friends. anyway whenever there’s an ice king focused episode i am excited because i find him hilarious and i hope he is well

[lavender-rroses]

this is the vibe i think

[chloesimaginationthings]

Toy Chica is your best friend in FNAF!!

[egophiliac]

can't believe that skeleman has turned on us, and Halloween Prom is tomorrow.

(what a top-tier UM...we are about to be just totally obliterated in the absolute silliest way. what possible use could this power have outside of bringing us to the brink of utter holiday disaster.)

[somewhereincairparavel]

"jason is a knockoff watered down percy" NO hear me out, jason actually parallels annabeth immensely, sharing SO many similarities with her personality, not percy, in this essay I will-

edit: my full analysis is out now! here

[paintedcrows]

Holiday Classics

Been thinking about Ford watching the 70s Animated Lord of the Rings Movies... (companion comic to this post!)