#i just suddenly dont know how to write anymore
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i feel somewhat responsible for this, even if i’m not the one saying these things. I’m genuinely so sorry.
No need to apologize! It's not one singular person doing it and truth be told I don't think it's a large majority that thinks that (albeit the ones that do are quite vocal). I didn't mean to upset anyone or anything when complaining about it, I was just letting off some steam.
Having a yap session under the cut sorry I feel like rambling under your ask anon.
Admittedly, I do think there are reasonings for people thinking this way. A lot of the focus with Clash has been on the cogs, especially after the 1.3 update. Which I can't say I blame them! Managers were something new and exciting and (from what I can tell) really separated them from the other servers. I don't blame them for wanting to put focus on that because that was their thing. Alongside other things, but majorly when you hear Clash the managers are mentioned in someway shape or form. But as we all know, toons ended up taking the short stick from this. This isn't helped by the gameplay itself, being mainly a fetch-quest deal so you often only talk to npcs once or twice unless if they're repeated ones and the taskline wasn't entirely accessible on the wiki for a while (shoutout to the wiki maintainers. The taskline script is a savior). Which I'm quite excited to see if they deal with this issue with the rewrite. I imagine they will, but anyways. Social media posts would often contain more managers than toons, which I also believe they're starting to fix. And ontop of this, I believe most of the team in the early era of the sever is gone, so there's been some stuff lost in the change. So yeah, dialogue/writing has been kind of rocky. AGAIN- I am completely aware of the rewrite going on and I am not judging them harshly based off of their current state. I'm very appreciative of the fact that they took the time to listen and are focusing on trying to fix it up. And then there's also fandom mischaracterization- especially of the cogs. Forgive me for mentioning mischaracterization because normally I wouldn't really care (I've mischaracterized characters before..especially in my younger years. I think it's just a process of learning an having fun and I hate to limit anyone because of it). With that being said, there's a lot of baby-fying and coddling of the managers. Especially with those who have more 'sympathetic' stories (Misty, Chip, Winston specifically). Don't get me wrong, I like these characters and I can appreciate the story they're trying to tell, but I feel like so many people will hear their dialogue and then misplace their anger. People get mad at Bessie for trying to protect HER lighthouse or at the Elders for trying to keep YOTT safe (lets not forget Winston was there to brainwash toons). Yes, yes technically there would've been better ways to do it but consider this: The toons are scared. Their homes, stores, lives are being taken over by a big corporation that has more resources that they do. They don't have the privilege of waiting, seeing, and gathering. And then people forget that the company has such a huge role in both toons and cogs lives. If you're mad over the mistreatment of Misty or the fact that Winston is still in the dungeon, your anger should be directed at the company who doesn't care. I may be completely wrong in saying this, but I feel like the stories with almost all of the managers is a reflection of the company. The toons are only trying to protect themself and their environments and yet this seems to go forgotten when people start bashing them. And of course, I'd consider myself a toon guy so me saying all this and complaining may come off as "I HATE the cogs and everyone who posts only about them!" and for clarification that's not true. You all know how much I like that little brain thing. The cogs are interesting, their designs are fun, I don't blame people for liking them because I do too. I just wish that the thought process behind so many of these discussions wasn't so cog focused because I believe that this anger at the toons for, RIGHTFULLY, defending themselves helps push this mischaracterization of them as a whole. That they're mean, boring, unlikeable while the opposite is true. Yes there are some, what I'd consider, "filler" dialogue from the shopkeepers. This is just because of the gameplay. But there are some funny and cute moments with them if people would just listen and read.
Which also brings me into another point: people skip the dialogue. I've caught myself doing this before (on my first account. I have 4 accounts total, so I reread the dialogue on like 3 of them). But people will complain about lack of toon personalities while doing this. It's like reading through a comic book, only looking at the drawings, and then complaining because there "isn't a storyline". Luckily, there's been efforts to keep track of the dialogue on the wiki but I doubt a lot of people are going through and reading the entire script. It just feels very disingenuous to criticize the dialogue when you haven't even read it. Likewise, people don't seem to read the blogposts either. This is both from a dialogue aspect and from an update aspect (people continuously asking about hammerspace/mix-and-match under unrelated posts).
#clemask#clemramble#I think I hit some sort of word limit because it wont let me add anymore so im continuing in tags#It kind of feels like people want the toon resistance to be the perfect victim and then get mad when they act accordingly#Fear. Nervousness. Sadness. Helplessness. Anger. etc etc are all valid reactions to their situation#Not every toon needs to be heroic and whimsical. they're scared. their situation is scary if you think about it#they're at the risk of losing their environment and homes.#Obviously the cogs also have their own issues but I always see this brought up when talking about them but the same context#isnt given to the toons when thinking about their characters and communities as a whole#It's kind of weird to me because I feel like even pre-rewrite I know that I can still understand them and justify their actions#and yet people act like clashes (pre rewrite) writing is justifying the cogs when in reality its not#its just showing that cog society (reflection of workplace enviroment) has its own issues. i never saw it as a justification#even with misty. like I never once hated bessie? my opinion of her never changed even after mistys dialogue#bessie did what she had to do because she was scared and wanted to protect herself and others.#id do something similar if a cog (known for taking over towns) suddenly came up to me#PLUS bessie leaves misty alone afterwards. ppl act like she took a shotgun and shot misty dead and it makes me laugh#ANYWAYS SORRY ANON. NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE.#realistically if youre not saying it then i doubt youre contributing#I would say “i wasnt mad” or anything but to be completely transparent with you guys i was Not-Happy when writing that one post#but it's not directed at any single person but rather the idea itself. I'm sure after the rewrite people will chill out#ITS NEVER THIS SERIOUS im beefing over characters named pretty princess sparkles. im aware of how silly this all sounds ok#the clash fandom isnt the only instance of this. ive seen stuff like this in sw before so like. I know this isnt an uncommon thing either#normally id just keep this on a priv or between friends but something kinda snapped yesterday#i think its bc I just KEEP seeing posts like it with those “hot take” posts or whatever and ppl are always so mean about it#i also think some ppl just already dont like toons and look for every. little. thing. to go after them for#like the “youve been drafted line” i refuse to believe people took that line 100% seriously#or maybe this is all wrong and im just a huge toon fan. and in that case i will die on this hill#you will have to pry them out of my cold dead hands before you catch me genuinely bashing them#ok thats clems giant critques and complaints out of the way
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Tbh the fact that most of the HS projects inspired by edoochan don't usually go beyond 3 chapters is kinda funny to me idk why
Anyways, I'm making dungeon meshi HS
I have no story planned for it (except it is going to have the battle of the bands event). I'll take out any magical element of the original story and make all characters teenage humans. I have no idea how to manage a project like this but auditions for character voices and artists are open RIGHT NOW!!!1!!!!1!!1!1 and composers too bc we want to have a full original soundtrack as well!!!2!111
#sorry if it sounds mean spirited this is meant as a joke#probs ill delete it 2morrow. i just needed to get this out of my brain#u dont mean this in a bad way. but i do think this happens bc the ppl behind these things dont ~know~ how tl manage them#either from writing a story for their series. or the producing stage. or bc they get a big audience they don't know how to deal with#or something idk. these thoughts suddenly dont make sense anymore
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i experienced such a deep body neutrality last night that was more of a feeling than it was of something that could be put into words but i want to try
cause the main words i can think of are... its just a body. a body is just a body, more than it is anything else. and it doesnt matter what other people think of it because its your body, not theirs
fat is just fat, skinny is just skinny. sure, there are ways your body can be unhealthy, and sure there are ways your body can be permanently changed in ways you dont like, but... its still just a body. we put all these words on it but theyre just descriptors, yet we let them define it so much we get lost in it. ive spent my whole life getting caught in the web of 'my body is fat and therefore people think im disgusting' but... thats so mean to something thats doing its best with what it has. and being fat isnt disgusting anyway. and if other people think im disgusting, they can just go find someone else to bother.
and i guess this all comes back, in a way, to something someone on reddit told me years ago that i wish i could find again... 'its just another way of being'. i havent thought about it in a while but it was honestly one of the best things anyones ever said to me. being fat is just another way of being. being queer, being straight, being white or black or brown or anything else, its just another way of being. so many thoughts, feelings, connotations, history, you name it... it tries to change the fact that these things are just another way for people to be. at the end of the day, is it really ever more than that? just another way to be.
#my post#i dont know if this makes sense at all#its just wild to spend so long in this loop of hating my body because other people make my shape out to be horrible#and then suddenly i see through the smog into the crystal clear skies for the first time in like... ever#i think it also started weeks ago. when my niece was born my brother took a picture of me holding her#and i feared i wouldnt like what i saw. but i didnt feel the same as i always did before when seeing myself#i had nice hair. i looked happy. why would i be upset about how i looked#btw this post isnt anti changing your body ajfhshf like do whatever. its your body. modify and all that#i want to change my body lol#but. its just.... this lack of hatred that i had for so long for myself#its just a call for being nicer to yourself. to try and see through the smog into the clarity. that these labels we all use are just words.#but your body is real and its yours and its the only one you have. so please be nice to it. please#important to me#save for later#im also thinking about a snippet of writing i did a week or two ago with one of my characters. she was talking about her past#and the people who hurt her and she mentioned how they left marks on her body... but theyre hers now. its her body. those are her marks#those marks dont belong to who made them anymore. idk if any of it makes sense ajfjsjd but it makes sense to me
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why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.
#freya talks aai2#my goals of not being a forgotten/forsaken hater are not going well. he goes from 'kay is a dear ACQUAINTANCE' to 'i've not known her for#very long but i know she'd never kill anyone' to 'you are the kay i know so well' in the span of a few hours and it's like.#okay so you know it was too early in their acquaintanceship for this to really make sense but you still wanted a 'deep' and 'meaningful'#relationship to take the lead in this plotline. his sister is literally right there. it wouldnt have been hard to swap her in either because#she's literally investigating the smuggling situation. it would make perfect sense for her to be there following a lead instead of suddenly#revealing kay's promise notebook went missing. im not saying that the super-gentle super-meek persona would have made more sense with#franziska but honestly it wouldnt have made sense with any of them because it's more a caricature of a character rather than being an actual#previously unseen facet of one but you could've done so many more interesting things with franziska! she has an actual personal stake in#edgeworth's decision to continue as a prosecutor or not and we could get actual insight into how her own relationship with prosecuting and#its inextricable link to her father has affected her as a person. like when you show amnesiac kay the prosector badge all she says is that#it feels heroic warm and familiar like someone she knew used to show it to her often. and like cool. it's basically telling us she and her#father were close. which we already knew. imagine if franziska had said something like that or had had a more complex reaction. there would#be so many avenues to go with that!! you'd even be able to delve deeper into what edgeworth thinks about it all. like what if franziska was#just. happier. without her memories. then you'd have a story where edgeworth has to reckon with whether it might be kinder to let her live a#different life where she's unburdened by literally everything she's been made to go through and give her the same opportunity of starting#over that he now has.#im just writing fanfiction at this point but like. the amnesia plot is so frustrating to me HAHA they dont even do anything interesting with#it!! it's just oh she's lost her memories and we need to get them back because she's not 'herself' anymore without any discussion of like.#the nature of identity or living as who other people know you as vs whoever you might actually be#WHEN THE WHOLE CASE IS ABOUT EDGEWORTH DECIDING ON HIS PATH FORWARDS AND GRAPPLING WITH BEING THE PROSECUTOR EVERYONE HAS KNOWN HIM AS#whatever. WHATEVER.#annotations#some people might argue so it's not rehashing old conflict between franziska and edgeworth and like ok. she literally repeats her 'are you#running away from me again' line during this case. does that sound like the words of resolved conflict?#i know WHY they use kay. it's because they need to justify her place in this game and because they want to play on the pseudo father-figure#thing they played up in aai2 to contribute to the overall themes of fatherhood this game is dealing with. and to that i have to say that i#might just not be the audience for it because i've never bought that version of their relationship and i dont think kay should be in aai2#anyway. plus i posit that franziska would've still worked for that theme because. literally everything. about her.
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sleepover ⊹˚. ♡
a prank where you tell your boyfriend you no longer want to spend the night heeseung 𐐪♡𐑂 jongseong 𐐪♡𐑂 jaeyun 𐐪♡𐑂 sunghoon genre: fluff, romance, drabble warnings: profanity, kissing, suggestive, 18+
hoonieyun notes: ive seen this as a tiktok trend for a while now and i just imagine how they'd react so i had to write it lol not proofread lol
heeseung ⋆˚ʚɞ
"i dont feel like sleeping over anymore..." after those words left your mouth, heeseung was instantly off of his phone and looking at you with his big doe eyes.
"w- what?" he asks, eyes blinking rapidly as he tries to understand if he heard you correctly. "you don't wanna sleep over?? why.." he asks so softly and you couldn't help but feel bad. of course you wanted to sleep over but you just wanted to see how your boyfriend would react.
"i just wanna sleep in my bed." you say, trying not to break character, although it was hard not to when heeseung was looking at you so endearingly with his bottom lip jutting out into a pout.
"bu-but you said you'd spend the weekend with me! we haven't seen each other in so long because we're working so much- what about we spend the night at yours instead if you want to sleep in your own bed?
i can pack my bags really quick, i promise. i'll be super fast- let me go do it right now so we can head out..." heeseung says. it was so cute to see him want to just spend the night with you, sleeping in his arms and having your warmth blend into one another.
heeseung was now getting up to go pack a weekend bag and just before his hands slip away from yours, your tightening your grip around his hands and pulling him back.
"im just kidding, babe. its just a prank on tiktok, of course i'm gonna sleepover." you say with a chuckle and heeseung rolls his eyes with a sigh of relief. his hand flying to his chest to console himself as you laugh at him.
suddenly he gently tackles you onto his bed, both arms wrapping around you into a warm embrace.
"it better just be a joke because no i'm never letting you leave me!" he says, placing several kisses on your cheek.
"good, i wouldn't want to be anywhere but in your arms anyway."
jongseong ⋆˚ʚɞ
"babe, i think im gonna go home soon." you told jay as the two of you sat on his bed. you were scrolling on tiktok when you came across the prank while jay was playing his guitar. the beautiful melody filling his bedroom.
"did you forget something at home?" he asks, fingers still skillfully strumming the guitar as he asks his question. "no, i just wanna go home." you say, trying your best to stay serious so he doesn't notice you're trying to prank him.
suddenly, his strumming stops and the beautiful melodic sound of his guitar is gone- the room filled with awkward air.
"you wanna go home? but i thought you were spending the night?" he says, turning towards you after he's carefully set his guitar on the stand next to him on the floor.
"yeah but- i don't know... i just don't want to anymore." you explain without much explanation and he furrows his eyebrows at you with a pout on his lips.
"did i do something? are you feeling ok? you know you can tell me anything right? am i not paying enough attention to you? sorry, we can watch that movie you wanted to-" jay was now rambling as he tries to wrap his head around why you suddenly want to leave even though you promised you spend the night over at his place. '
"baby, i'm just joking, it's a tiktok prank!" you interrupt him with a laugh; his eyes drop into a narrow gaze and his pout intensifies.
"wow... fine go home then..." he says teasingly, turning around and crossing his arms.
"hey... i was just joking!!" you say, crawling over to him and wrapping your arms around his neck; placing a kiss on his cheek.
"you can't resist me... you love me too much." he says with a smile, placing a kiss onto your lips.
"you're right but you're the one who begged me to sleepover sooo..." you tease and he turns to look at you, mouth agape.
"hey!!" he says as your laughter fills his room.
jaeyun ⋆˚ʚɞ
"jake... i'm gonna go home, ok?" you say, getting up from his bed and pretending like you're going home. in an instant, jake's hand is grabbing yours and he's twirling you onto his lap. "you're going where??" he asks, pouting and staring intensely into yours eyes.
"h- home..?" your response wasn't meant to come out as a question but his gaze was so piercing that you couldn't fully focus on the prank that you were trying to pull on your boyfriend.
"what happened to the sleepover? we were supposed to binge a bunch of movies, eat snacks, and play mario kart?? remember that?" he says, trying to remind you why you were there in the first place and although you didn't forget, for the sake of the prank you had to play along.
"yeah... well i don't really wanna do that anymore." you say, looking away from his eyes and onto your lap where you fiddled with your fingers.
"baby, look at me-" jake says, gently grabbing your chin to make your eyes meet again. "did something happen? did i do something?" he asks so lovingly that you couldn't continue pranking him any longer.
"ok, sorry! it was a prank i saw on tiktok, but you're too sweet to prank- i feel bad." you say while your hands gently cup his face as you pepper kisses all over.
"thank god, i thought you were suddenly mad at me." he says, relieved that you weren't leaving and that you weren't upset.
"so you're staying?" he asks and you nod, wrapping your arms around his neck to which jake respond by picking you up bridal style and standing up onto his feet.
"splendid! now we will commence movie night, princess what movie shall we begin with?" he asks and his cute actions make you laugh.
"my prince, might i suggest 50 first dates?" you say, playing along with his sillyness.
"splendid choice my love. onward to the living room!" he says as he carefully runs the two of you to his living room with layla in toe; barking in excitement at the random surge of energy between the two of you.
jake carefully places you onto his couch as you set up the movie while he puts together the snacks.
"i'm glad you weren't actually leaving..." he whispers to you during the movie. "i'd never leave, even if i forgot you like in this movie- i'd find a way to remember and come back to you... always." you respond, placing a kiss onto his lips.
sunghoon ⋆˚ʚɞ
"babe, i'm gonna head out in a bit." you tell sunghoon in such a chill manner that he almost doesn't fully process what you said. he almost just nods and hums in response until his head snaps upwards from his phone and he turns to you with a head tilt.
"wait, where are you going? it's like 2am." he asks and you tell him that you wanted to go home despite telling him prior that you would sleepover because you missed him so much to which he responded with a wide smile and said how much he missed you too.
"home?? what happened to missing me so much you wanted to sleep over? do you not miss me anymore..." he asks, voice low as he tries his best to not show that he was clearly sad you wanted to leave.
"i do miss you... but i also miss my bed." you say and he looks at you like you're crazy.
"your bed... over me?? you're hot and loving boyfriend??" he asks, now he's sitting right next to you, face hovering over yours with both his hands trapping you between them.
"uh- well.." you try to respond but you couldn't muster up any response as you stared at him. he just looked so handsome that you lost your train of thought as broken sentences and stutters left your lips.
"if you miss you bed so much why don't you just move in?" sunghoon suddenly says and this catches you off guard. your eyes widen at his statement and although you've been dating for a little over a year now, neither of you have brought up the idea of moving in together.
"re- really??" your question coming out as a whisper.
sunghoon nods and tells you that it's probably better that way anyways since your job was closer to his place and his rent was more affordable than yours.
"um.. okay!" you say and sunghoon smiles at your response, placing a kiss on your lips. "perfect, i'll help you break your lease tomorrow and we can start planning your move right away!" he says eagerly, pulling out his laptop to start planning out your move.
you're left laying next to him a bit dumbfounded as your prank took an unexpected turn. "y'know this was supposed to be a prank..." you confess and he once again looks at you with a head tilt, "prank?" he asks.
"yeah, i was supposed to act like i didn't want to sleep over anymore to see your reaction..." you explain and he closes his eyes with a chuckle.
"well, good thing you decided to do that because now you're with me forever!" he says teasingly while sticking his tongue out at you. "plus, i've been wanting to ask you to move in for awhile, i just never knew when to do it." sunghoon says in a warm tone and your heart melts at him.
"i'm glad to be moving in, that way i'll never have to leave again." you say while snuggling closer to him so you could both work on planning your move together, wrapping your arms around his bicep while resting your head on his shoulder. a position that you could get used to.
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#kiki diaries#enhypen#en-diaries#kpop#kpop au#kpop fic#kpop fanfiction#kpop fanfic#enha#fanfiction#enhypen au#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#lee heeseung#heeseung x reader#park jongseong#jay x reader#sim jaeyun#jake x reader#park sunghoon#sunghoon x reader
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this post is so funny to me bc all the notes about how much harder established relationships is is EXACTLY how i feel about getting together. it’s so bad. pls let me tempt you to the established relationship side we have
misunderstandings thinking the other person is tired of you/wants to break up
ex partner (or just really good friend!) (or ex crush!) comes on the scene, cue jealousy/insecurity
one hurts the other (physically or emotionally) and the hurt one hides it bc they don’t want to cause trouble, but oops…..
related to the above or not: the partner who did the hurting is upset and punishing themself and potentially even tries to leave bc theyre a Danger
big blowup fight where they’re both wondering if they made the right choice at all but they cant stand to be mad at each other but also neither wants to give ground. angry domesticity. you get me
presumed death trope. not specific to established relationships but i love it and it goes so hard
tbh a lot of tropes you used for getting together can still go here, you just get to use different feelings. ahem, kidnapping
oh no you missed our date/anniversary/special event and now i’m pissed/heartbroken
external pressures keeping them busy/away from each other, they’re stressed and snappish when together, the spark seems to be gone and theyre just going through the motions, how will they fix this…
past relationship (or any) trauma coming up and tangling in things
but also, when the relationship is established that means that USUALLY the plot doesn’t revolve around the relationship itself. it for sure can, but a lot of the appeal, To Me, is that after a big ol fight with a snake monster or, like, a rough day at the office depending on genre, they can come home to each other and be the only thing that ISNT in complete turmoil.
anyway sorry i went off on your post, op, but uhh like i said writing getting together fic feels like trying to fight god with a spoon to me, so um, if you feel like giving me any wisdom in return,,,lol
why is established relationships so fun to read yet writing it is similar to fighting god with a spoon
#bird noises#i love writing established relationships soso much#what do i do with myself if i cant make them KISS#even my getting together is always like. friends or at most strangers to lovers#i just cant maneuver gracefully from enemies to lovers no matter how many times i’ve read it i fear#but ahhhhh when you know someone so well you dont even have to talk and when you have the right to freely give affection#when you mightve had to hold it back before#and when suddenly you look up and you don’t recognize them so easily anymore. when they duck away from your affection#when you cant bring yourself to reach out??? bro#‘past trauma fucks up current relationship’ is also my favorite thing#esp when the traumatized one hides it and refuses to disclose until everything boils over#and then its why didnt you trust me how could you let me hurt you can i fix it please let me fix it#its SO GOOD#okay enough enough im done byeeeeee
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I have a steddie x reader request if you’re open to it!!
Best friends eddie & steve are hanging out with you in your room and are snooping around and oops! They found your vibrator
After a moment of embarrassment and teasing, you end up lying with your back to steve’s chest and eddie using the vibrator on you, both of them praising and teasing the whole time 👀👀
cw: MDNI (18+) use of a vibrator
It's not uncommon for you, Steve, and Eddie to be hanging out in your room. You're there more than anywhere else, especially because you've got your own place unlike the others. It's become a comforting space for the three of you and there's honestly nowhere else you'd rather be with them.
It's also not uncommon for the boys to go through your things because of how nosy they are. And you don't care so long as they don't go into the bottom drawer of your nightstand which is off limits and you lock it anyway because you know they don't like to listen.
They're looking through your clothes tonight, going through your lingerie, which should embarrass you, but it doesn't. You actually find the way they're hold up your bras to your chest scandalously humorous.
They get bored pretty easily and move on to your nightstand, rifling through the top drawer which just contains a journal, some pens, and other various writing utensils. As long as they stay there, it will be fine. As long as they dont-
But before you can stop him, Eddie rips open the bottom drawer, a gasp falling from his lips and Steve looks down as well, trying his best to stifle a laugh as a blush rises to his cheeks. There's a lot of different toys amongst other sexual things down there, but the start of the show is your bright pink vibrator.
"Oh, what's this?" He asks, looking down at the thing and now you're wishing that the ground would just swallow you whole because you just can't take this anymore.
"Eddie, don't," you warn but he pulls it out of the drawer anyway and you have to cover your face because you're so embarrassed. You don't know why since that's not an abnormal thing to own, but the fact that your best friends, male best friends at that found it, well, there was a reason why the drawer was off limits.
You go to reach for it, but Eddie holds it out of your grasp before tossing it to Steve. He turns it this way and that before turning it to you with a devilish grin, switching on the thing so it's vibrating intensely in his hand. It's going crazy and when he looks at the switch, he realizes that this isn't even the highest setting. He kicks it up and now he's losing his grip on it because of how much it's moving.
He turns it off then hands it back to Eddie, the three of you getting the same idea at the same time. You're over your embarrassment now, suddenly feeling your panties getting damp at the thought of them using it on you.
Steve sits on the bed and pull you to him and you sit between his legs with your back to his chest. Eddie is on his knees in front of you as your quick to take off your sweatpants, your panties quickly following. You then spread your legs as he turns on the vibrator, slowly pushing it towards your cunt. The lowest setting it absolutely nothing compared to the highest, which is what Steve had it on just moment ago.
The second it touches your clit, you grab hold of Steve's thighs, digging your fingers into the fabric of his jeans. Eddie's free hand is on your bare thigh as he pushes the vibrator harder against your clit, watching you come undone.
You're moaning so loud as you lean your head on Steve's chest as he watches you in amazement. Neither of them have seen you like this and fuck is addicting to watch.
"That's it, princess," Steve encourages, his voice soft. "It feels good, doesn't it?"
"I don't know, Stevie, I don't think she's giving us enough." Eddie pulls away and you're already begging for more, reaching out for him, but Steve hold you back, grabbing hold of your wrists so you can't move.
"Relax, princess. You'll get off, don't worry." You relax into Steve's chest and Eddie brings the vibrator back to your clit and you can feel the difference between this setting and the other one. It feels so good, but you need more.
He moves it down to your slit and you let out another moan, feeling the vibrations more intensely in this spot. Without warning, Eddie turns it up again and he can tell this is the sweet spot as you're already on the verge of an orgasm. Jackpot.
"Already about to come, huh?" Eddie teases. "Barely even done anything. We're only on three out of six settings."
"It just feels so good," you whine and Eddie applies more pressure, turning the vibrator up yet again. "More," you whine. "More."
"Gotta say please," Eddie replies. "Can't give you what you want if you don't say please."
"Please." You're begging now and both of them think they could easily get of from your whines alone.
"That's it," Steve says as you moan over and over, pushing the hair sticking to your sweaty face away so he can see you better. It's not surprising that he's being so sweet while Eddie's teasing you. It just makes sense with their personalities. "Look so pretty like this."
"You're so fucking hot," Eddie compliments. "Bet you're even hotter when you come, hm?"
You moan again, your back arching this time as Eddie kicks it up to the last setting, both him and Steve watching you in amazement as you finally reach your orgasm, your face having a nice sheen of sweat as your mouth opens wide, a loud moan falling from your lips as your back arches even more. They're sure that this is the hottest thing they've ever seen.
As you're coming down, Eddie turns off the vibrator and the two of them press gentle kisses to your forehead, letting you take a bre4ak before switching places.
Steve is much more gentle but he definitely knows what he's doing. He's singing your praises with every moan while Eddie is more degrading, telling you how much of a slut you are as he's now the one watching. He love's seeing it from this angle, holding you while watching his best friend pleasure you with your toy. He loves whispering the most dirty things into your ears while watching you come over and over.
The three of you spend the rest of the night like this, the two of them switching places over and over as you come again and again, only stopping when you absolutely can't take it anymore. And afterwards, they run you a bath and let you relax while they clean everything up and return the vibrator to it's spot in your drawer before they leave, knowing that this night will live all of your heads rent free for the rest of your lives.
#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x fem!reader#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x you#steve harrington smut#steddie#steddie x reader#steddie x fem!reader#steddie x you#steddie x y/n#steddie x reader smut
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𝜗𝜚 just come home , lando norris
✦ °. — girl dad!lando norris x fem!reader
✦ °. — plot: your husband has been away due to racing season so when your two year old vocalizes on the phone how much he misses him, he takes a break from his breaktime to come see his two favorite girls.
✦ °. — warnings: none, lando + reader get emotional, really cute like tooth rotting (wc: 902)
✦ °. — mars’ mind: i had this exact dream about lando a few nights ago and really really wanted to write about it before my head exploded
it was slowly getting late as you stood in the kitchen washing up dishes from dinner, while your daughter lily sat in the floor playing with her toys. your phone started buzzing, you looked at it and saw lando was trying to facetime you. you hurried to dry off your hands and swipe to answer.
“hello!” lando beamed once your face appeared on the screen. “hi my love” you smile, propping yourself up against the counter on your elbows. “how are you doing?” he asks, its was bright out, he most likely was just now leaving the track he just raced on.
“oh i was cleaning up from dinner” you pause, “i watched your race, did good today im proud of you!” the praise made lando smile from ear to ear, he got p4 which isnt podium but still something to be proud of. “maybe that why i did so good, cause i had my lucky charm watching me” he giggled at his own remark, even made himself blush.
you walk over to your daughter, sitting on the floor next to her. “actually, you had both of your lucky charms!” you smile, showing lily the phone. lando’s face lit up and he waved at her, “hi darling!” he chimed.
lily reached out for the phone, grabbing it from you and holding it comedically close to her face. “oh okay i guess its her phone now” you joke, smiling at her. “hi h-hi daddy!” she seemed as if she wanted to reach out to him through the phone. lando giggled at just the pure sound of her voice.
“hi there princess, did you watch daddy race today?” he asks. she doesnt say anything back she just nods her head. “i-i miss you” her little voice and her pleading words made your bottom lip stick out in a pout. “aw you do? well daddy will be home soon okay darling?” lily nodded, turning her attention back to her toys and dropping the phone on the ground.
you grab the phone, standing up and walking down the hallway to the bathroom. “well i guess she didnt want to talk to me anymore” he jokes before pausing to take notice of your face. the lines around your eyes and your nose turned pink and eyes watery. “whats wrong baby?” he plead. “i dont know” you shrugged, laughing at yourself for getting teary eyed. “for some reason the way she said she missed you pulled at my heart strings a little bit” you smile.
“i know mine too a little bit, made me feel a little choked up” he smiled. “we do really miss you over here though” you got somewhat serious with your statement. “i know honey and you know i’d be on a plane to you right now if i could but my body desperately needs a break”
you nodded, you knew he was right. it wasnt gonna be like this forever but for the small amount of time that it is, it sucks. “i know baby, and its okay, you know i want you to prioritize yourself right now” you smile, at him. “okay, ill let you get to bed soon, kiss lily for me too okay?” you nodded, sniffling and wiping your face. the two of you exchanged virtual kisses before hanging up, allowing you to get ready for bed.
the next morning was the same as all of them, morning shower, then making and eating breakfast and then cleaning up. lily had just gotten cleaned up and you left her in the living room watching tv so you could brush your teeth. you stood for a minute, looking at yourself in the mirror poking at all of your insecurities you’ve had your whole life.
suddenly you heard lily yell “daddy!” you assumed maybe lando had called you and she got to the phone. “lily honey is daddy on the phone?” you called out walking down the hallway. there was silence, no talking from lily just complete silence. “lily?” you called out again.
you stopped in your tracks when you reached the living room, there stood lando in the doorway, holding lily tightly in his arms as she giggled. “oh my god!” you smiled, lost for words as you ran up to him throwing your arms around his neck. “hi baby” he laughed at the sheer force in which you threw your body at him with. his free arm wrapped around your waist, holding you at the small of your back.
“what are you doing here?” you ask, placing both hands on each side of his face. “well obviously i needed to see my two pretty girls” he smiles, smothering lily with kisses, making her burst into a fit of giggles, slowly sitting her back down.
the both of you watched as she quickly ran back over to toys. you turned your attention back to eachother as you connected your lips, which was the first time in a week but felt like years. “no really why are you here? you need rest and you what, get on plane and choose to lose sleep?” you mutter.
he shrugged his shoulders, smiling at you, “i meant what i said, i wanted to see the two of you, plus i’ll get my sleep eventually.” you felt emotional again, you always felt emotions stronger when it came to lando for some reason, you just couldnt understand how you had gotten so lucky to be with him.
(author’s notes:) i had to rewrite this twice bc tumblr kept deleting it but how do we feel about girl dad lando BE HONEST!!! thank you for reading & don’t forget to join my taglist !!
#lando norris x reader#🎀lando norris#🎀f1#f1 x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagine#f1 imagine
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The Boys Preference: Lashing Out And Regretting It
Requested: heyya! love how you write the boys characters you got them so well just like how they are on the show. if its okay and if its a good idea, may i request an imagine with the boys and homelander and their reaction after they and reader got into an argument, getting to the point where they told reader some hurtful things and told reader to leave because they dont need reader or reader is nothing to them/is useless. they just say this because they’re angry but reader takes their word to heart and did just as they said. now they cant find reader or finding it hard to locate reader. could be platonic or familial. thank you! - anon
A/N: Screaming I love this!!! I live for the angst!!! I'm so sorry I've been so slow with requests my loves! I hope you can understand! Feedback is always appreciated! 💜💜💜
Requests are open! 🔮
Butcher embarrassed you in front of everyone. Yelling and screaming, calling you useless, all because Samer got away. You were a little too occupied with Kimiko and Frenchie to realize, opting to save your friend than chase after him. Both Kimiko and Frenchie were eager to come to your aid, but he shut them down. He got in your face and he humiliated you, said the team was better off without you. You left without a word, ignoring your friends who begged you to stay. You left your phone behind, knowing they'd call and text, apologizing for him. You were good at your job, the best even. You and Butcher have worked together a long time. This was your first mistake in a long time and he couldn't let it go. You were done. You packed a bag and disappeared. When they realized they couldn't reach you, they split up, looking at your apartment and usual hang outs. No one had seen you. Suddenly Butcher can feel his heart in his stomach. Regret spread through his chest. Everyone was pissed at him, but no one was angrier at him. He never should have done what he did. Now you were gone. Who knows when you'd show up again?
Hughie regrets it immediately. He said what he said because he was angry, and stupid, and awful. You left the night of the Tek Knight party. You were a Supe, a powerful one, but for whatever reasons, your abilities weren't what they used to be. You argued with him, saying he shouldn't go in alone. It came out before he realized, before he could take it back. Right now, he was more powerful than you were. What right did you have telling him what to do when you couldn't do your single job? The look on your face, the horror and hurt, it made him sick to his stomach. He tried to apologize, to explain, but you were done. You threw your hands up, wishing Hughie and the rest a safe mission, but you were done. M.M. assured him it was better to go through with it than run after you, so he did, but the whole time he's thinking about you. He doesn't find you at the office or apartment. You disappeared. They tried to track you, find you, but they hit wall after wall. You'd show up again, they all told him, you just needed time. He'd never felt so guilty in his life.
Annie didn't think you were trying hard enough. It didn't seem like you cared anymore. Not about the team, or taking down Homelander. You seemed like you were just going through the motions. She meant to just talk with you, but things escalated pretty quickly. As soon as she said the words, she knew she was in the wrong. You were becoming a liability to everyone involved. If you were done, burned out, then just say that. Leave. But if you wanted to be a part of this team, if you really cared, you'd stop being so useless. Truth was, you were tired. You were tired of everything. There was no name calling or fighting back. You didn't have it in you. You got up and you walked out, pushing past Butcher and the rest who were just walking in. Annie goes to follow you, but you just pick up your pace. She calls and texts, but you never answer. Everyone says to give you your space, but she can't let it go. She shows up at your place which is completely empty. It fills her with so much shame. She apologizes profusely, asking you to come back, but she never gets a response.
M.M. is reactive and angry and he knows what he's done is wrong immediately after. He's been in charge of this team and so far all you've been is negative. You've lost your faith in the team. He understands, he gets it, but for the sake of everyone involved, he needs you to look on the bright side. If there isn't one, he needs you to make one. He ends up blowing up at you while you're waiting for Hughie as Webweaver. You tell him, Annie, and Kimiko that you have a bad feeling about this, a terrible feeling, but it was too late to do anything. Hughie was already inside. He knows now is not the time nor place, but he loses it. If you can't have faith in the mission, in your teammates, then you shouldn't be here at all. Your attitude problems only hurt morality and it was worse than useless, it was dangerous. Annie and Kimiko try to de-escalate the situation, but you've made up your mind: you're done. You leave without a second thought, wishing them a safe mission. Because they're all occupied, no one can really do anything about it. After his panic attack, Marvin sees just how right you were, but when he calls it goes right to voicemail. When it seems like you disappeared, he does everything he can to track you down. You don't want to be found, though.
Frenchie fights with you after Samer gets away. It was the three of you that were in charge of him and you let him get away. You didn't have any fight left in you. It was your fault. He must've been working on the cuffs for weeks. You trusted him and you let Kimiko get hurt. You know that's the reason he's so upset: because he had to cut off her leg to save her. She could have died. You know what she means to him. And yet, he goes a little overboard. Everyone thinks so, yelling at him to stop when he's gone too far. You were useless. You let Samer get away, you let Kimiko get hurt, you failed at every single job you were given. He can see the look of hurt on your face and finally stops, the room left in a heavy silence. You grab your coat and you leave. There was no use in fighting with him, he was right. Annie and Hughie called after you, pleading with you to stay, but you waved them off, storming out. When they don't hear from you, they all start to worry. You sent a single text to Frenchie before turning off your phone. Tell Kimiko I'm sorry. Feeling guilty, he goes to your place. You're not there though, and neither are your immediate belongings: wallet, keys, phone, some clothes. He has to do something to fix this, to make things okay.
Kimiko is really hurt you turned yourself in alongside Frenchie. The guilt was eating you alive, all the things you've ever done. It was horrible. It was unforgivable. When you come back alongside Butcher, who insists you and Frenchie can replicate the virus, you can't stand to look at her. She wants to talk with you, to ask you why, and eventually, when you get a little alone time, she does. Of course she would understand, your upbringings were cruel, brutal, and it lead you down this road, but you couldn't move on. You couldn't forgive yourself. Kimiko was pissed. Did you really think it was that easy? Did you really think you were the only one eaten alive by guilt and shame and self-hatred? She was signing at you furiously, as close to yelling as she could get. You were so smart, so intelligent, and yet you were wasting your talents wanting to rot away in prison! If you were going to throw your talents away and hurt the team and hurt her and become a useless nobody, then what was stopping you? Certainly not her, not any of your friends. You don't have it in you to fight back. You don't have anything left in you, not anymore. She tries to get your attention when you leave, but you don't look back. When none of them hear from you, Kimiko begs The Boys to do everything they can to find you. Please, she has to make things right.
Bonus! Homelander cuts people out of life left and right. Still, you never thought he would turn on you. And yet, when you don't know who the snitch is, when you're not closer to pinpointing the culprit, he loses it. His eyes even heat up, though he catches himself, calming himself down. Firecracker interrupts his yelling, foolishly, but in the end it saves you from hearing anymore about how pathetic, useless, stupid you are. That you don't deserve to be a part of The Seven, you don't deserve to be a Supe at all. He goes off with her, believing it was Webweaver all along. You don't know how much time you have, but you know, in order to avoid his wrath, you have to leave right away. Get some space between you so that he can cool off, if he ever does. You took it as a pretty clear way of saying that you were out, you lost his trust. You weren't a friend anymore, you weren't anything anymore. Firecracker had saved the day. Again. When he comes back, covered in blood and no closer to finding the narc than he was before, he goes looking for you. He searches the entire city, but you've disappeared completely. Vanished.
#preference#headcanon#billy butcher#billy butcher x reader#hughie campbell#hughie campbell x reader#annie january#annie january x reader#mm#mm x reader#marvin milk#marvin milk x reader#frenchie#frenchie x reader#kimiko miyashiro#kimiko miyashiro x reader#homelander#homelander x reader#the boys#the boys x reader
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oscar's girl * ls2
logan never thought he would meet the girl that broke oscar’s heart
pairings: logan sargeant x fem!reader
word count: 4.2k
notes: guys ive been writing this since 10pm girl it's mf 4am now please sue me i'm sorry this was a long wind up im sorry but dont worry i will be writing a part two HELL YEAHHHH
(logan's girl) // |(f1 masterlist)
oscar and logan, logan and oscar. that's how it's been since they had run into each other during a karting weekend in the uk a couple of years ago. oscar had approached him with a toothy grin and a packet of candy after seeing logan walk around by himself for weekends at a time.
maintaining the friendship isn't the easiest of feats: logan lives in south florida, while oscar lives on the opposite side of the globe in melbourne. they don't see each other for very long, and very often in a year. but, it always feels like no time has passed when they get together after months of separation.
but being apart for the majority of the year means the window they've got to keep an ongoing conversation is small. but their string of texts has always come in consistently every day, responses from the other flooding in the early hours of the morning and sometimes in the dead of the night.
that was, until, logan woke up one warm thursday morning to an empty and dry phone. he brushed it off, taking it that oscar just had a long day at school. perhaps too much had happened in the day to simply text at the end of the day. so he went to school as he usually did with his best friend in the back of his mind.
but one day turned into two, and suddenly he hadn't heard from oscar in almost a week.
logan had sent one follow-up text. a simple 'hey' to nudge oscar into a response. which did help, because him and oscar surprisingly texted for a short thirty-minute window before the australian called it quits on their conversation to get some sleep for the next school day.
until oscar goes radio silent again for the next three days. so, he goes to the one other person in oscar's life that he knows personally.
"hey mum," logan starts, walking into the kitchen hesitantly. he's been dancing around the idea of asking his mum for help to see if oscar's even still alive and has not been replaced by some clone that's somehow less chatty than the one he said goodbye to at the airport four months ago.
"yeah, baby?" his mother stands up from her prior hunched-over position at the fridge to smile at him. she opens her arms as he approaches her hesitantly, fiddling with his thumbs. "what's wrong?"
he hums, second-guessing his decision to bring his mother into the situation. perhaps oscar just no longer wants to be friends with him anymore? but if that were the case, oscar definitely would have said something to his face and he's just been quiet. "um, it's just oscar," he starts softly, dropping his gaze to his feet, "can you ask his mum if he's alright?"
"of course," she smiles, letting go of him. she walks around the kitchen counter to find her phone. "why, did something happen to him recently? break another wrist?"
logan shakes his head, pressing his lips together. "no, we haven't been talking as much as we used to. i'm just worried that something might have happened to him."
a blush creeps up his cheeks when his mother's lips pout as she tries to hide her smile. "aw, logan! that's very cute of you. and very thoughtful," she teases as she starts to type on her phone. "i'm texting his mum right now. you hang tight and i'll tell you when she gets up to text me, okay?"
"okay."
he tries not to linger around his mum's circle of personal space for very long, afraid to let on that he's more concerned than he should be for the status of his friendship. to combat the anxiety of potentially losing one of his best friends, he locks himself in his room and plays video games all afternoon.
he had been in the middle of a game in call of duty when his phone started to ring. he glances at from his position on his bed and perks up with oscar's picture taking over the screen of his phone.
he immediately pauses the game, tossing the controller to the side of his bed. he slides his finger across the screen to pick up the call and oscar, visibly tired, pops up on his screen with a small smile.
"hey! my mum just got off the phone with your mum," oscar whispers with a smile. "said you missed me, mate?"
"no, i was just concerned cause you've been off the grid for a while," logan scoffs with an eye roll. "i never said i missed you."
"well, i'm sorry for disappearing on you, mate," oscar drops his gaze and a small smile creeps up on his face. in the dim orange lighting of his bedroom in melbourne, logan can almost make out the redness coming through on oscar's cheeks. "there's a reason for that. it's not because i don't wanna be friends anymore. i've just been a little... preoccupied."
logan tilts his head. he rolls over to his stomach and holds the phone up to his face. "what do you mean? more preoccupied than usual?"
"yeah," oscar giggles. "i uh... i've got-" he clears his throat, the slight embarrassment getting the better of him. he lifts his eyes from his thighs and moves the phone slightly further away. "i got a girlfriend."
logan furrows his eyebrows, throwing his head back slightly in shock. "what?"
"yeah," oscar repeats with a hint of a giggle in his response. "i've been seeing her for a while. do you mind if i tell you about her a little bit?"
"really?" logan smiles, squinting an eye. truthfully, he's finding it a little bit hard to believe that oscar's suddenly got a girlfriend. they're literally always on the phone with one another, texting and updating one another on things that they've got no idea about in their day-to-day lives.
not once has oscar come up to him about a girl before, much less developing a crush on somebody. "this is a bit sudden, isn't it? like, where did this girl come from?"
"she's new," oscar smiles. "so, do you wanna know about her or not?"
"alright, fire away, lover boy."
they talk - no, oscar talks - for the next hour about the girl that's recently enrolled into his private school. all logan can do is giggle and smile with oscar at how their relationship had gone down.
even after oscar has hung up, logan still doesn't really know much about the girl he's spent the better part of the past hour talking about. oscar simply refers to her as 'my girl'.
the next time oscar and logan reunite in the uk is at the end of the year. their mothers made an effort to get flights close to one another, letting them run into each other at the mcdonald's in the airport unknowingly while getting food before heading to the hotel.
"dude!" logan cheers, smacking oscar on the shoulder roughly.
"huh?" the smaller boy ahead of him looks up from his phone, turning his head to be greeted by a familiar pair of green eyes. he immediately locks his phone and slips it into his back pocket as realisation slowly dawns on him. "logan!"
"too busy texting on your phone to even notice i was behind you the entire time," logan scoffs jokingly as a hand comes up to pat him on the shoulder.
oscar presses his lips together as a blush creeps up on his cheeks. "sorry. i was texting my girl!"
"my girl this, my girl that," logan rolls his eyes with a smile. "did she not come along with you?"
"no, mate. she's off for a holiday with her family," oscar shrugs, biting down on his lip.
for the rest of the trip, logan will often catch Oscar cheesing at his phone. it doesn't matter when or where: they could be in their hotel room watching a movie, on the track waiting for the race to start, or while they're having a casual chat before they go to bed.
one question haunts logan for the rest of their stay in the uk: who is this girl?
though, it seems that logan is never destined to meet this girl that his best friend spent an entire year gushing about. because at three in the morning on a random saturday in may, his phone buzzes with oscar's picture taking over his entire screen again.
"we broke up."
logan would stay up all morning with oscar that day, letting oscar choke back on tears for the next thirty minutes about the girl that simply packed her bags and moved halfway across the world from him. they would never speak of this day again, even after they both relocated to the uk together to start their junior career.
oscar never speaks of the girl he once devoted his entire self to, but logan often finds himself thinking of her whereabouts and how their relationship had changed oscar.
oscar never uttered the phrase ‘my girl’ when he started dating his long-time girlfriend, lily zneimer. now that they’re in f1 together, logan has at least gotten to know this girlfriend.
he is very well aware that she exists: he’s talked to and touched lily. but the question still lingers in the back of his mind about the unnamed girl, even years later.
the thought of her pops up randomly in his mind as he approaches the paddocks for his sophomore year in the sport. that was prompted by the sight of oscar also making his way into the paddocks slightly ahead of him.
“mate, i heard you’ve got a special guest in your side of the garage today,” oscar teases, stepping away from logan as he reaches out to tap his card into the reader.
“what? who told you that?” logan scoffs, passing through the gantries as he throws his head back in disbelief. “ugh, alex needs to shut his trap. i bet he told lando then lando told you.”
“no, your mum told my mum,” oscar laughs. he nudges his friend with his shoulder. “why? are you shy?”
“piss off.” logan giggles as he drops his head, shaking his head as he bites back a smile. “i’ll see you later, mate.”
“oh, i’ll see you later alright. i’ve got to see who’s making you blush like that,” the australian giggles, shoving him in the direction of the williams racing home.
logan chases his shoulder, managing to land a soft smack before he completely walks away. sure, logan had been seeing somebody for a while, and this weekend was the one he had singled out for you to come out and watch his race.
you were scheduled to come in about thirty minutes for now, about twenty minutes before he is supposed to disappear from the garage for an interview panel.
and he’s excited. this is his first time having his personal guest, who isn’t his mother or brother, in his side of the garage. sure, getting halfsies of alex’s girlfriend from the garage next to him is still something, but it’s just not the same.
so, he tries to pass the next thirty minutes as well as he can. and he does everything: he terrorises his team in the garage, then james sitting his office, then alex in his driver’s room.
still ten minutes left on the clock.
kinda early, but i’m here! :)
logan almost jumps out of his skin at the notification that pops up along with your name. he swallows back the excited scream as he runs down the stairs, pushing himself past alex and his girlfriend who were gathered downstairs with james.
logan swings the glass doors open, slumping his shoulders and feeling a wave of happiness in his chest when he sees you standing shyly by the stairs.
you look very cozy: wrapped in a dark puffer jacket and your bag barely hanging onto your shoulder. he almost wants to disappear with you into his driver’s room and cuddle all day. to hell with his commitments, even if it means fighting off his pr officer.
“hey, you!” logan beams, perking up as he jogs down the few steps to where you were. “you should have texted me when you reached the paddocks. i could have picked you up.”
immediately, he bends down to take your bag into his hands and then he pulls you in for a warm hug. “thanks for making it out this weekend.”
“of course. how can i decline a chance to watch you in your element?” you smile, leaning back slightly and wrapping your arms around him. “thank you for reserving a pass for me.”
“absolutely!” logan cheers, pulling away. “let me bring you inside and introduce you to the team. you don’t mind, right?”
“it’s my pleasure,” you smile.
he puts a hand on your back as he guides you up the racing home, pushing the door open and beckons for you to walk in before him.
“ah, lily, you were right! it’s neither his brother nor his mum that’s making a special appearance this weekend!” alex booms from deep inside the hospitality, throwing his arms in the air. “mr american man got a girlfriend over the winter break?”
“shut up, mate,” logan scowls, moving his hand up to hold your shoulder protecticely. “but, yes. this is… my girlfriend.”
he shyly looks down at you, catching your eye as you glance up at him. you’ve only recently gotten into a relationship with logan; fresh, only six weeks into the title.
“oh, it’s so nice to meet you,” lily steps away from alex’s grasp and holds a hand out to you, “i’m lily. welcome to the paddocks.”
“hi, i’m (y/n). it's so nice to finally meet you,” you smile, taking her hand. “and alex! logan talks about you guys really often. i’m a big fan.”
“oh, logan talks about me,” alex teases in a laugh, also extending his hand out to you. “good things only, i hope.”
“hey, i told you not to tell him that,” logan says through his teeth, giving you a warning stare with wide eyes.
“it’s my first time meeting him, babe,” you laugh to logan, taking his hand in yours to shake.
"oh, can i tell you about logan's antics last year in the paddocks?" alex asks you excitedly, hopping one step toward you.
"or," lily laughs, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend to steer him away from you, "let's let her settle down with logan. you can terrorise her after the day has ended, alex."
"aw, but i've got lists of embarrassing things about him," alex sighs with a frown, though he lets lily guide him away from the new couple. he cranes his neck and grins at you. "i will see you later! i'll prepare a list!"
"so we're avoiding him later," logan smiles at you, now guiding you towards the steps that would lead you to some privacy. "have you run into anyone yet? have you seen liam yet?"
you shake your head. "not yet. but i hope you'll bring me to him so that i can get to say hi? i haven't seen him since we bumped into them at disneyland in december."
"yeah, i know. he's been asking about you." he opens the door to his driver's room to let you in. "so, i've got to run for a bit. i've got an interview panel. it really shouldn't take too long. i'm sorry."
"sorry? what are you sorry for?" you giggle, taking a seat in the corner of the room. your eyes scan the small room, taking note of the endless shirts riddled with williams' logo hung in the corner.
"i don't wanna just leave you here by yourself," logan slumps his shoulders with a frown, resting his hands on his knees as he bends over to meet your eyes. "i feel bad."
"oh, i'll be okay." you wave off his concern and lean in, pressing a chase kiss to his lips. "just text me when you're done. i'll go downstairs and find lily and get to know her better."
"that's a good idea! you guys should really go around the paddocks. there's a concert somewhere too, make the best out of my pass, okay?" logan smiles, his hand cupping your chin. he brushes his thumb over your cheek as he towers over you. "text me if you get lost."
"i won't get lost," you smile, standing up from the seat. "i actually haven't had my coffee yet. do you know anywhere i can get a cup of coffee?"
"oh, lily should know where," logan hums, tapping his bottom lip as he heads for his door. "let me get her for you."
"logan." the firmness in your voice stops logan in his tracks, turning around with curious eyes. "i can find lily on my own. i'll be okay - i'll see you later."
"are you sure? i just feel bad that i'll leave you all by yourself," logan whispers, leaning in to kiss your cheek. "i'll miss you."
"i'll miss you too. but you've got a job to do," you giggle, walking out of his room with your hands wrapped around his arm. "i won't disappear. i'll meet you wherever when you're done. just text me."
"fine."
so logan goes and does his media commitments with alex in tow. and lily clearly had the same idea as you, meeting you at the front doors as alex walked away with logan.
"logan mentioned you were looking for coffee?" lily beams, quickly finding herself by your side as she leads you around the paddocks. "i know the best racing home to get a good cup of, but we might have to sneak in."
"sneak in?" you tilt your head. "is that even allowed?"
"yeah, carmen will get us in! mercedes has got the best cup of coffee to offer around here," lily giggles. "and, you should meet the rest of the girls. what are you going to do for the rest of the evening while the boys are out doing their jobs?"
"i suppose you're right," you shrug with a small smile. "but it's my first time here. should i really be caught sneaking into another team's home?"
"ah, you're with me," lily smiles. "i've got you."
so you actually get your cup of coffee in the back of the mercedes' racing home, now finding yourself huddled together with carmen and lily. they had asked you how you had come to meet logan, especially after the driver had spent most of it behind closed doors and rarely showed himself to the cameras.
it was a pretty simple story. you had been on vacation in new york with a group of your friends, minding your business in the corner of a crowded bar. truthfully, you didn't even want to be there, but it was your best friend's birthday trip. you couldn't say no even if you insisted.
logan had caught sight of you pretending to drink shots your friends were handing you towards the end of the night. eventually, you wound up with about six filled shot glasses hiding behind you, desperately hidden from your friend's prying eyes.
he thought it was funny, and had offered to finish them for you. in exchange for a promise that they were not laced with poison.
you had hit it off, and logan asked you out on a date. while you were unfortunately flying off to another state in a week, he had taken up the challenge and took you out on a date the very next night in the heart of new york city.
the rest is history, as they say.
"does logan actually ever say no to free alcohol?" carmen jokes, blowing into her cup of hot coffee. "wait! there's a concert happening not too far from here. do you guys know who's performing?"
"it should be on the race's instagram page," lily sighs, swiftly taking her phone out of her pocket. "but aren't the guys finishing up their interviews by now?"
"it's a long weekend. would they really notice if we weren't here for one break that they have?" carmen points out knowingly with a smile. "and we've got to show her," carmen gestures towards you, "around. is this your first race weekend?"
you nod shyly, taking a sip from your coffee. "but it's okay, really! don't go out of the way for me."
"that's silly." lily runs a hand through her hair and sighs, resting a hand on her hip. "okay, so, let's meet the guys near the pit building. when they're called in for their driver's briefing, we make a run for the concert area, okay?"
"that sounds like a much better compromise." carmen turns to you with a playful smile. "we will teach you how to make the most out of logan's race pass. you're going to have so much fun with us."
"after the concert, we'll head upstairs to the viewing pen and get a couple of drinks," lily smiles. she glances down at her phone. "oh, seems like they're already done. you guys wanna head there together?"
"sure!"
you start backpedalling from your position, ready to follow the two veteran paddock enjoyers. that seemed like a good idea until your back collides with something - someone - and suddenly you've got mildly hot coffee all over your top.
this is the one time you regret unzipping your jacket to let a bit of the cold in.
"i'm so sorry."
"it's fine," you say with a soft whine, turning around before being flashed by a bright orange jacket and a pair of brown eyes. "it's..." you tilt your head. "do i know you from somewhere?"
the shape of his polite smile and the way his brown eyes look into you are all very familiar. but you just can't quite place a finger on it.
perhaps it's because he looks a lot different from the last time you saw him. you were a wee fourteen-year-old the last time you had seen him before you were forced to pack your bags and move away because of your dad's job.
but, as a kid, you generally did a lot of moving around because of that said job. now you're just trying to single him out by geographic location from the many friends you've made and lost contact with over the years.
"(y/n)?" oscar's eyebrows shoot up, your name coated thickly with an australian accent as his hand lingers on your shoulder.
"oh, you two know each other?" lily excitedly asks, looking between the two younger individuals.
who seem to be very caught up in their unexpected reunion. you'd be shocked too if the girl you had thought was the love of your life shows up at your big boy job with your colleagues' girlfriends with a mercerdes coffee cup in hand.
"yeah, we uh," oscar takes a step away from you and puts his hands in the pockets of his team jacket, "we used to go to school together. in melbourne."
"right," you sigh in relief, finally being able to place him in a particular timeline of your life. you finally remember him: oscar piastri, the school heartthrob with a charming smile and friendly eyes. he had even asked you to be his girlfriend at some point, dating for the better part of a year before you had to leave melbourne with your family. "oscar, right? i'm sorry, my memory's a little bit hazy."
"no, yeah," oscar agrees, scanning you head to toe. "it's been... how long has it been since we last saw each other?"
"very long. it's been years since i left melbourne." you lower your cup and readjust your jacket, trying to hide the prominent wet patch of coffee at the collar of your inner shirt.
but the longer you stare at him, the more the memories come rushing back to the time you spent with the best friend you had made in melbourne for those years. you can vividly remember oscar picking you out in pe to be his teammate, sneaking out of homeroom to grab a juice pack together right down the hall.
you had completely forgotten the tears you shed that day you had to leave melbourne. you swore that you would keep in contact with the warmest brown eyes your eyes have ever seen, but you had simply gotten too busy settling into the new environment that had been thrown at you.
before you knew it, you had dropped your phone into the lake when you were out with your friends and you lost oscar's phone number. you never found a way to reconnect with him, and eventually, he had joined the long list of friends that you had forgotten about.
"i," oscar laughs, "what are you doing here in the paddocks? are you friends with them?"
"no," you straighten your back with a polite smile, "i'm with somebody - logan."
and oscar's never wanted to ever tear apart the paddocks' walls with his own hands before. what do you mean his girl is here with his best friend?
#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant x you#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 x you#disneyprincemuke#disneyprincemuke imagine#disneyprincemuke imagines#disneyprincemuke f1
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I JUST FOUND YOU BUT PLEASE PLEASE ANOTHER STALKER!MATT FIC (for ideas maybe while she’s on facetime with him hes.. yaknow and his camera is on which is more riskier, or another idea is she posted a photo on instagram or something thats a little more on the 18+ side and he… yaknow)
i got u 🙂↕️ piggybacked off an idea kinda ????? been meanin to visit stalker!matt i miss him :( this is sooooo late as well im so so so sorry !!! not proofread i cant STAND rereading things i write
18+ content, suggestive, stalker!matt . dont read if this isnt your cup of tea :)
—
matt has a habit of knowing where you are and who you're with at all times. well, most times. sometimes he messed up, a mistake on his part. sure, your sweet, little self is his best friend, and it is wrong for him to do the things he does and think the things he conjures up in his head. but it's so hard not to want to blow your back out or tug at your hair with his dick in your mouth when you just look so pretty on your new instagram photo dump.
matt knows where these photos are taken—you and your little group of friends having gone on a trip by yourselves and driving around cute places. the beach, a flower field, museums, art galleries, you name it. multiple photos of you and various girlfriends posing or sipping drinks, until matt sees some selfies of you guys at a bar.
'what the fuck?' are the words that spew from his mouth when theres suddenly a video playing of you guys downing shots and giggling. the music is loud and the crowd in the video is boisterous and looks most likely high and or drunk. the video is a fairly short one, but he doesn't miss the way a guy is snaking his hands around your waist as you turn and grin at him so prettily.
matt's thumb swipes immediately, not wanting to stare at that sight anymore. he doesn't realize the way his fingers grip his phone a little tighter, blinking at the last image in your new little photo dump.
the dress clinging to your figure was anything but modest, paired with the way you looked with your friend. the shot was a little blurry, the cameraman was probably drunk or something. your friend stood to your right, leaning towards the camera with her upper body. a shocked expression lay on her face, one hand covering her mouth while the other splayed on top of her thigh. her eyes diverted away from the camera.
you, on the other hand, have your ass almost directly facing the camera. wide googly eyes stare at the matt through his screen over your shoulder, your shoulders hunched and hair a pretty mess. the hem of the dress you wore rode up and gave him just a little peek of your ass, and god—his dick strained uncomfortably in his jeans. the way you looked so innocent yet so enticing, knowing nothing is by far innocent in the photo.
the caption of the dump was titled 'with my girls <33', and upon opening the comments there were immediately your friends' usernames hyping you up. specifically the last photo. matt scoffed under his breath at how you responded with your little emojis and what-not. the lingering thought of the guy who briefly showed up in the dump was still in his head, to which he stashed in the back of his brain. because matt will find out who that was.
but first, he can't miss the way his dick twitches ever so slightly in the confines of his jeans and belt.
soon enough, he has his belt strewn haphazardly on the floor of his room and his pants pool at his ankles. tongue prodding his cheek, chest heaving with a heavy exhale as his hand thumbs at his tip. a hiss leaves his mouth and he's spreading the pre that's leaking from his slit down the length of his dick.
his free hand fumbles for his phone that sits on the edge of his desk, swiping to that god forsaken photo that gives him a peek of your ass. a grumbled whine rips from his throat and his hand wraps around his length—starting to pump slowly as his eyes scan over each and every single feature of your body and face in the picture.
matt's fingers grip his phone tighter and your name is falling from his lips in whiny breaths and huffs, the occasional curse getting muttered under his breath. the pace of his fist increases and soon enough he's getting himself off to not only the photo of you—but the scenarios he keeps caged up in his head.
your face stuffed in a pillow with your ass up, his palm splaying across the cheek as his dick rams into you. drool bubbling at the corners of your mouth as he holds your head down on his cock, nose pressing into his pelvis as he feels your gag reflex kick in. your body laid all perfectly on his bed, thighs spread and squirming. his tongue poking at your entrance and his hands gripping the flesh of your hips and thighs, holding down harshly to make sure you don't thrash around so much.
matt doesn't realize he's busting until his balls tighten and your name is chanted over and over again in a whiny breath, like a prayer. his fist slows and his chest heaves up and down with each heavy gasp of air, eyes gazing at the photo on his phone and lingering for a little while.
—
goodnight i havent had motivation to do anything recently how are u all i love you guys !!!! if u sent in a req i will get to that just itll be very very slow .....
©eph3merall 2024
#ᶻz eph3merall#ೀ stalker!matt#ᶻz asks#ᶻz anons#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#stalker!matt#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo blurb#matt sturniolo smut#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#pls im so tired
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hamzah x reader sexting headcannons ໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡
includes: implied virgin hamzah, obvi nsfw, mentions of nudes n porn, female reader
i was high while i wrote this so sorry if it sucks el oh el
- this man goes ALL OUT when it comes to sexting. it’s surprising knowing that you’re the first girl he’s been with after seeing the way he talks.
- always praising you. that boy thinks you’ve got the prettiest face in the world, even during sex. when he’s horny, he doesn’t ask for nudes, (although he definitely wouldn’t turn them down 🤭) he asks for pictures of your face because you’re just that beautiful to him.
- definitely nervous at first, but once you’re into it, so is he.
- will get detailed once he’s comfortable. once you’ve got him riled up, if u ask him what he wants to do to u, he’ll give u whole PARAGRAPHS of the fantasies he has about you.
- although hamzah years ago promised himself in his head he would never send nudes, you tempted him a little too much.
- he sends nut vids. with audio. and warns u first ! 😊
- when you guys aren’t together and he misses you, he knows exactly how to make himself feel better. you’ll be out hanging out with your friends when suddenly you’ve got a text from him reading something along the lines of “dont open in front of anyone lol.”
- after you sneak off to the bathroom, you open the text up to a minute long video of him, laying in bed, sweatpants and boxers just slightly pulled down. he lazily strokes himself, but gets more intense the longer the video goes on. as he inches closer to finishing, he softly mutters your name as well as faint swears as he desperately fucks into his hand and cums.
- before dating you, he had a bad habit of watching a lot of porn.. but he doesn’t need that anymore. you’re his own personal pornstar.
- on the topic of porn, one of his biggest fantasies is making a tape between you two… but that could be its own set of hcs 🫣
- he loves when you really try to explore the things he’s into. since he didn’t have much experience before you, there are a lot of things he’s eager to try that he’s seen online or in porn. obviously he would never participate in anything against your boundaries, but he’s definitely here for it if you’re interested in his kinks.
i am so down bad for this man it’s not even funny. i need him!!! 😊 so bad!!!! 😊 anyways erm ill write like anything for him as long as its x fem reader thanku baiii
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aaaahahhhj ur already one of my fav writers ur so funny 😭 reading ur work makes my dau sm better
if u dont mind can u write hcs of kaito being shuichis wingman? shuichi tells kaito he has feelings for the reader but is too nervous to ask them out, so kaito decides to take matters into his own hands and help him plan moments where shuichi can confess his feelings
also can I be mochi anon?
༊ matchmaker ! ༘
synopsis turns out other than being the ultimate astronaut, kaito ends up as shuichi's wingman to help ask you out. warnings cursing, kaito (platonic!) x reader, no love triangle lol author’s notes THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY TYSM I CANT STOP RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY HOUS TY ANON AND YES YOU CAN 🙏 btw this request is so CUTE UGH
off topic but i was about to post this accidentally lmao
ok sorry giys back on topic
when kaito hears shuichi tell him he has feelings for you, he immediately whacks him on the back, congratulating him
“congrats shuichi! you’re becoming a real man!”
cue shuichi debating whether or not he regrets ever telling kaito about his lil crush
now when they both see you around, kaito tells him to go up to you and just confess
“oh look there’s y/n! go ahead and tell ‘em how you feel!” like some dad or something
shuichi refuses, feeling too nervous to even go up to you, so he tries to avoid you and kaito’s pressure to just confess already
which might give you the wrong idea that he doesn’t want to talk to you :(( he’s just so overwhelmed with his feelings that being around you makes his heart want to burst
its ok though kaito motivates him by giving him long pep talks and support, thinking about ways shuichi can get your attention and like him back
although they both dont know you already do lmao
it does help shuichi but his confidence goes away the moment he sees you
“okay i think i got this now, im nervous but im sure i can tell them how i feel”
kaito feels so proud and pushes shuichi further as soon as they spot you nearby
“you got this! remember what i taught you!” kaito says to him before going to hide somewhere to watch the scene unfold
shuichi nervously walked over to you and took a deep breath, closing his eyes
“hey shuichi, do you need something?” you asked with a smile
as soon as he opened his eyes it all went away
poof
just freezes entirely not saying anything
“are you okay?” you asked after a solid minute
“i....have to go” ran off lmao
kaito is so disappointed 😔
“you almost had it man! it was your chance! what would y/n think about you now?” kaito sighs
so now they have to think of another plan
kaito probably turns into a secret detective, watching you from afar to see what your likes and dislikes are
has to be careful or he’ll be called out as a stalker 😭
as soon as he knows enough he gives ‘hints’ to shuichi
“oh wow, looks like something y/n would like” trying to be all sneaky about it
kaito would also “arrange” hangouts between the three of you and suddenly give some shitty excuse to leave you both alone
“you have to learn my son”
“kaito what the fu–”
jk that wouldnt happen
imagining shuichi saying that though is so funny for some reason
sorry i got distracted
back on topic
scolds shuichi for chickening out at the last moment, saying how he had a lot of work to do and stuff
eventually gets tired of shuichi’s bullshit
“alright shuichi do you want to earn y/n’s love? then man up! you aren’t some little kid anymore to run away from your feelings, today is the day you’ll confess, got it? i’ll help you out”
kaito makes shuichi write you a note and leave it in your locker, about meeting each other at the school’s rooftop
before you arrive kaito supports him by telling him what to say, and act towards you
“listen shuichi, this has to be perfect, ya hear me!? it’s now or never! if you don’t man up now, someone else will steal them, do you want that?” kaito got stressed too 😭 mans wants this to be over with already
as you got there, shuichi was standing there mentally preparing himself
“the view is so pretty from up here” you said, trying to make conversation
shuichi took a deep breath, “yeah..um, y/n, i invited you here because...well...uh...i need to tell you something” shuichi starts, trembling slightly
this guy is sweating bullets and his face feels so hot
you, on the other hand was patiently waiting for what he had to say
“..i admire you a lot. there’s so much to admire about you, really–” taking a deep breath he continued, “from your strength, to courage and kindness.. and..because of that.. i developed feelings for you...what i mean to say is i like you y/n, more than a friend”
silence
he did it
HE DID IT‼️‼️‼️
kaito can barely contain his excitement as he silently cheered, he just has a sense that told him shuichi did it
you may imagine what your response is lol
shuichis so happy now
RELIEVED ASF
‘i finally did it, they like me back what do i do now do i hug them or ask if we’re officially together or or or’ — shuichis mind rn
“well..do you wanna go out for a coffee sometime this week? just the two of us together?” you asked
“ah..of course” shuichi is so happy he doesnt even know how to act
all giddy and shi lmao
hes probably the type to scream into his pillow when he gets a text from his crush out of happiness
and acts as if nothing happened afterwards
he needs to show he can be a dominant male 🐺
jokes jokes dont hate me pls
we cant just casually ignore the fact kaito was a w wingman
so once he gets out of his ‘hiding’ place hes already whacking shuichi on the back and saying they need to go out to celebrate
kaito is w
#danganronpa#fluff#danganronpa 3#danganronpa v3#shuichi saihara x reader#kaito being a wingman#kaito is w#“kaito is w” we all say in unison#shuichi saihara x female reader#shuichi saihara x male reader#shuichi saihara x gn! reader#headcannons#this was so long#its 10pm and i quickly had to finish this lmao#kaito momota#anime#game#meracyn
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sleeping angel
i need help. anyways! blade x AFAB!reader. smut. somno. noncon. reader doesnt wake up. i dont know anything abt hsr. bad writing..!
———
blade couldnt get enough of you.
he always shrugged off the feeling that washed over him when he thought about you. deeming it useless, he concluded that hes just hallucinating, to feel something in that endless pit in his heart. he just, couldnt wrap his head around it. this new feeling,, he couldnt help but be curious about it.
perhaps, thats how he ended up here? in your house, in your room, in your bed. lying besides you, he gazed at you longingly, almost predatory. maybe, he truly was a wolf in sheeps clothing. ah, besides the point.
he watched with careful eyes, how your chest rose up and down, how you sometimes mumbled random nonsense, and how you looked,, so lush and erotic in a way. he couldnt help but out stretch his hand, caressing your side. and soon it was other places of your soft body.
today, blade would learn more things about you. like, wether you're a light or heavy sleeper.
light caresses turned into deep touches, your night gown torn, and on the ground. your body was on display for him, practically calling his name. today, blade would learn that you are a heavy sleeper.
he groaned quietly, feeling his cock get harder with every touch. the only garment left on you were your panties. he stared a bit too long, examining every inch. he felt his cock twitch when he finally noticed the little bow. he covered his mouth, embarrassed by his own sounds.
he couldnt take it anymore, unbuckling his belt and taking his cock out in a paced manner. blade moaned, finally free from the restraints. his dainty and lengthy fingers approached the waistband of your panties, shaking with excitement. or maybe, it was his nervousness?
either way, blade didnt care. two fingers curling underneath the waistband, and pulling down, slowly. it was almost as if he was trying to torture himself with the pace he was pulling at. he pulled the panties down to your knees, moaning softly. his lips shook with anticipation, his eyes wide.
he ripped them off suddenly, your panties joining the rest of your torn clothes. “fuck...” he mumbled, spreading your legs. his jaw slacked when he saw how you were glistening. he needed a taste. he leaned down, lips aligned with your clit. his breath was shaky, and he inched closer, sticking his tongue out for a taste.
he moaned against your clit, deciding to lap more at you.
his strong arms circled your thighs, smashing his head between your thighs. he continued licking and sucking, utterly obsessed with your taste. his thumb teased your pussy, going in and coming right back out. he slowly, yet surely, dipped a finger inside of you. “oh my god..” he gasped, feeling how tight you were.
he started pumping in your cunt, licking your clit. he drooled, thinking about how his cock would feel inside you, instead of his finger. he retracted his finger, leaning back up. he stroked his cock a few times, panting.
“all mine to indulge in..” he uttered, taking in your angelic form once more.
he guided his cock to your pussy, rutting the tip against your hole. he bit his lip, grabbing your hips and slowly sinking in you. his eyes widen when he saw you stir, yet all you did was move your arm and head. he sighed, continuing his movement.
now fully sheathed in you, he rutted against you again, moaning loudly. “fuuuck..” he threw his head back, moving his hips slowly. he looked back back at you, noticing your pretty tits jiggle with every thrust. blade groped your tits, licking your nipples. he stopped abruptly when he heard you moan quietly.
yet after stopping all movements for a few minutes, he realized that was all you were gonna do. he bit his lip, thinking for a moment. blade sighed, knowing he couldnt cum, nor could you. it would totally blow his "cover". if he got close, that would be his time to leave.
he continued moving, thinking about how next time, he'd bring a condom.
his thrusts didnt pick up speed, he was too scared of you waking up. if he wasnt scared, he'd know it'd be really, really, awkward. his hand squeezed your tits again, groaning quietly. as he inched closer, blade had to stop himself from continuing. he pulled out, stuffing his cock back in his pants. he got off you, putting the blankets on your naked body.
he made a promise to himself; next time he sees you, he would claim you, right there and then.
———
i wrote this between 12-2am. my eyes hrut. apologies for any grammar mistakes. have a nice morning, evening, or night!
#stellaronhunters#honkai star rail x reader#blade x reader#blade smut#blade hsr x reader#hsr#honkai star rail#honkai star rail smut#blade x you#hsr blade#smut#starbxzy!
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im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.
you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.
please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.
could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.
i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.
i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.
but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.
you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.
here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.
for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.
i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.
happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.
it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.
these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.
there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam
recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.
but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.
and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.
#i hope you are okay#i wish i could help more#i hope the pain eases soon#and i hope that you stay#ps . to those of you reading this thinking i should help you too: please just dm me#it makes me really#really really scared when it's anonymous#bc i cant check in with u#i am not a professional and i am not actually good at helping ppl through their troubles#this is an exception bc they are 16#not the rule#ps if u misunderstand ''being a teenager is the hardest thing i ever did'' when i mention briefly that i was in unsafe housing...#trust me. it was worse there. by like A HUGE margin#every person raised in unsafe housing nodding their head like . oh yeah worse stuff TECHNICALLY happened after but leaving that home was#legit the hardest thing i ever did
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*✧・゚: *✧・゚: break up ✧
╰┈➤why would you two break up
. . ⇢ ˗ˏˋpairing ot7 x gn!reader
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋgenre angst
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋwarnings mentions of cheating
. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋnote im sorry i know its kinda sad but im feeling very angst these days. also i had so much fun writing this and i hope u like it :)
✦➼mark lee ┈ he didn't have time for you
✦- sadly we all know how busy mark always is. likewise, he tried to give you some of his time, but it wasnt enough. sometimes days went by without them seeing each other and when they did see each other it was for 10 minutes. the good morning and good night messages didnt really make up for anything nor did the other text messages with small updates. probably you were the one who broke up with mark. he's too kind and sweet to do it. he also didnt really realize what he was doing and thats why you broke up.
it was a weekday when you approached him to talk to him. they were both in the kitchen of their house. they had just finished dinner when you told him. mark was shocked when you told him. he knew you were right but he really thought it was something that would happen and they could live with it. he told you that he understood but he was really very broken.
✦➼huang renjun ┈ fell out of love
✦- renjun is someone so sweet and loving but also someone who can lose interest quickly sometimes. i mean once you see something you dont like there is no turning back. you have to have a very strong relationship for it not to happen. but if it happens, i feel for you. it will start with things like stopping being attentive to you and almost completely avoiding physical contact between the two of you.
he told you out of nowhere really. you thought your twos relationship was in a good place, and suddenly he tells you that he doesnt love you anymore. probably it was that way because it was the only way he found to tell you. those words destroyed you completely and when you asked for explanations he didnt know how to give them because he really didnt know what had happened either.
✦➼lee jeno ┈ you no longer understood each other
✦- from one day to the next the relationship stopped working. you didnt understand him anymore, Jeno. It seemed like he no longer trusted you and was hiding things from you. the talks at the end of the day ended quickly and he no longer spoke to you much directly. you thought it was because they couldnt understand each other anymore so the trust between you felt absent.
a few months ago this was a problem in your relationship, suddenly talking to each other was not comforting nor did you listen to each other. every talk led to an argument. he was the one who brought it up to you. the relationship was no longer working, he loved you, you loved him, but they no longer understood each other. the spark that connected them had gone out
✦➼lee donghyuck ┈ cheating
✦- i dont know why but sometimes Hyuck gives me those cheater vibes. it must be because i read a lot of things with a plot about that, but thats not the point. despite being a very intelligent person, haechan can sometimes be somewhat impulsive. he was easily carried away by a provocation or he was simply drunk, we dont know really, but he did it. he swear it was a one-time mistake but it happened again, two more times. but since the third is the charm you caught him in the act.
you couldnt believe it when you saw it, the person you had fallen in love with being disloyal to you. he came out behind you quickly and started apologizing. but it was too late, the mistake had already been made. you told him you didnt want to hear his apology and you left. He tried to contact you in the following weeks but you blocked him everywhere. eventually he gave up looking for you.
✦➼na jaemin ┈ different visions of the relationship
✦- you had been with jaemin for a while when one day you sat down to talk as usual and this topic came up. they realized that they both wanted different things in life and that they didnt know where they were taking the relationship. you were willing to continue the relationship, settle down and maybe start a family one day with him. but jaemin still wanted to continue experiencing life and didnt see their relationship as something serious enough to settle down.
with this information the relationship was no longer the same. there was no point in really continuing with this if one of us thought that way. so one day, you faced him. you asked him if it was really true that he saw the relationship you two had that way and when he said yes, you blurted it out. it hurt him, but he understood and thought it was the best for the two of you.
✦➼zhong chenole ┈ big figth
✦- chenle is someone with strong ideas and sticks to them a lot, so arguments were not something unusual in their relationship. it was always little things like who had to wash the dishes and stuff like that. sometimes things escalated to another level but never like that time.
the argument had started over something that was certainly stupid given the strength with which they ended up arguing. everything got out of control when you reproached him for something. from there, they began to tell each other every bad thing they saw in each other. the argument ended when one of you shouted, "well, if we're so bad for each other we should break up." and that's how it ended, you didnt see him again after that for a long time.
✦➼park jisung ┈ a misunderstanding
✦- jisung thought you cheated on him. he misinterpreted a message that was on your cell phone. at first he denied it (not only because it wasnt true) but because he didnt believe it was true, especially coming from you. but after that he started noticing things that were always there but he had never noticed them. things that had nothing wrong and were purely innocent on your part, but he didnt see them that way.
one day when he got home he told you something that had made him a little jealous, and although he tried to stay calm he ended up exploding and letting it all out. you tried to explain it to him but he got carried away by his ego and didn't let you do it. also relevant is the fact that you had burst into tears because of what he thought of you. in the end you wiped your tears and told him that the relationship was ending.
#kpop x reader#nct reactions#nct scenarios#nct headcanons#nct x gender neutral reader#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#mark angst#mark x reader#renjun angst#renjun x reader#jeno angst#jeno x reader#haechan angst#haechan x reader#jaemin angst#jaemin x reader#chenle angst#chenle x reader#jisung angst#jisung x reader#haechani4ever#nct dream angst
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