#i just really wanna get a feel for what people who are aro/ace and also fans of yelena are feeling bc i think that that's super important

[comet-wire]

Ngl I've been having a gender crisis again on top of all the stuff that's happened with my dad, I think I still identify as male/masculine idk 🗿

Same with my ace/aro spectrum placement ☝️🗿

[allastoredeer]

Hello, don't mind me, I just need to vent for a second.

First off, I just wanna say, as an aroace person on the ace-spectrum, feel free to ship Alastor all you want. Ship him with anyone. Have fun with it. Sex repulsed. Non-sex repulsed. Grey-ace. Demisexual. Pure unadulterated smut. Whatever, have at it. I love that shit.

Just please do it without infantilizing ace-aro people.

The amount of art, fics, and takes I've come across that's so patronizing to Alastor and his sexuality. Thing's like Alastor venting to Rosie about his feelings for a character with the caption "Alastor feeling love for the first time." Or Alastor wanting to have sex with a character and having feelings about that, and someone commenting "That's called a boner, sweetheart. That means you like them 🤭"

Like??? Like do ya'll not see how patronizing that sounds? Being ace-aro doesn't mean you don't know your own body. It doesn't mean you don't understand the functions of your body.

It doesn't mean you've never experienced intense emotions. It doesn't mean you've never experienced love before.

And, look, I know these are meant to be jokes. I know. People are joking. I laughed at the first few I came across, too. It's not meant to be harmful or condescending; no one means it that way. But there's been so much with such...bad takes recently, and I don't know about any other ace-spec people (I don't speak for all ace-specs. Hell, there are probably other ace-spec's who don't mind, enjoy it, or are making content like it themselves. I just speak for myself) but GOD it's getting uncomfortable.

Alastor is in his late 30's-early 40's in human years. That is the established age range we have for him. Do you really think that he'd go that long without ever experiencing "love?" He went through puberty just like everyone else, do you think he doesn't understand his own body???

Being asexual, or sex-repulsed, or touch-repulsed doesn't mean you automatically don't explore these parts of yourself. It doesn't mean he's never, once in his life, touched his own dick, or pussy, or whatever genitalia you're giving him. He can still very well be a "virgin" (which in and of itself is a social construct) while also knowing his body and confidently handling any "sexual needs" he has.

Do you really think he doesn't know what a boner is? That in all the years he's been alive and dead (on Earth and in Hell), he wouldn't have experienced these things once? (And you know what? Maybe he hasn't! Perhaps there are ace's out there like that! But you're telling me he doesn't KNOW what that is??? Really???)

Ah, no, it's all because he just hasn't found the right person yet, right? It's not until Lucifer/Angel Dust/Vox, whoever found him, and they gave him these feelings, and oh no, poor Bambi is feeling twitterpated and horny for the first time, isn't that romantic!

Honestly, not really. It just sounds like the same, stupid shit ace-aro people hear from family, friends, and acquaintances about their sexuality. You know, the tried and true: "Oh, you just haven't found the right person yet. You'll want all that eventually, you'll see😊"

Do you not see how frustrating that is?

Look, I am all down for Alastor exploring parts of himself. I want him to navigate different relationships, feel them out, figure out what kind of relationship he wants and what he's okay and not okay with doing. But there are ways to do that without treating him like a little UwU silly baby boy who doesn't know his own body, or his own emotions, or his own relationships with other characters. Like he needs someone to teach him about himself.

How about instead, he finds someone he feels comfortable exploring these elements with? Instead of them "teaching" him how to fuck, or masturbate, or whatever the hell you want to call it, they're giving him the room and safe-space to explore it at his own pace??!!

It comes across as someone who isn't on the ace-spectrum "teaching" an ace-spec character about their own sexuality which puts such a gross taste in my mouth. Or, at least, that's how it comes across to me.

And the thing is, I know people aren't going to stop. I know they're going to keep infantilizing Alastor and his aro-ace identity, and I wasn't originally going to make this post, because you can't control what people do in fandom.

So this is mostly just a post to say: HEY! Hello! Ace-aro person here! I hope you all are having fun and I love that you're exploring Alastor's asexual/aromantic identity! Especially those who may not be in the ace-spectrum themselves, as you're learning about us and our experiences! That's awesome! Can we just do that while also treating Alastor like the adult he is? Can we do that without being infantilizing and patronizing about his sexual identity? Please?"

That's all I really wanted to say. I just needed to get this off my chest instead of letting it fester. This isn't an attack on anyone, this is just the perspective of an Alastor multi-shipper who loves exploring his relationships with other characters (sexually and non-sexually) and deep-diving into the dynamics of the show.

Thanks for reading.

[ckret2]

Hi, found you through your Hazbin fic "You've Got A Face for Radio" and just. I've already left a comment on the ao3 about the fic in particular, but I also wanted reach out to another aro ace person, because while I do think I am on the ace spectrum, I am still kind of figuring things out. I've talked to a few people about not experiencing attraction, at least in the form most people do, and what they say almost always boils down to "you'll know it when you feel it" and "maybe you've felt it but repressed it subconsciously", which, I know they mean well but, it's not what I think is the case. I'm just. Kind of stuck on the enjoying NSFW stuff if it's fictional characters bit. What even classifies as sexual attraction anyway? Who defines it when it can vary from person to person?

Anyway, I hope I'm not being a bother, it's just that your fic gave me a lot to think. I'd have sent a dm since this might become a discussion (if you're willing) but I'm not sure what the Internet etiquette is here.

"You'll know it when you feel it" "maybe you've repressed it" lmaooo if that isn't THE MOST COMMON line questioning aces/aros get. Have you got "maybe you haven't met the right person" yet? There probably isn't an ace/aro in the world who's explored their identity without some (hopefully) well-meaning but oblivious allo saying one of those things.

When they DO mean well, it comes from a place of not being able to imagine being ace/aro; it seems more likely to most allos that the attraction is hiding rather than absent entirely. You can rest assured that anybody who says that is expressing something about their own understanding of sexuality, rather than anything about their understanding of your sexuality.

Honestly and sincerely, the "enjoying NSFW stuff if it's fictional characters" bit is what personally delayed me from identifying as ace for, like, a decade longer than it had to. "Well hey, I love thinking about sex if it's some kind of alien or robot, that doesn't seem very ace; so I must not be ace, maybe I just haven't yet met a normal real-life person who's interesting enough for me." But that kind of thinking comes from not understanding what being ace is!

Because the criteria for being ace is actually a lot lower than most people think. It's not "never thinks people are attractive," or "disgusted by sexual situations," or even "never wants to have sex." Those can be part of the experience of asexuality but they aren't necessary. (Some aces think people are attractive, just not sexually attractive! Some aces want to have sex, they just aren't sexually attracted to the people they're having it with, they're interested in the act rather than the partner! It's a spectrum!)

The litmus test I personally use for "sexual attraction," and that's worked for a lot of people I know, is this:

Have you ever looked at somebody, thought they were hot, and automatically thought to yourself that you'd LOVE to have sex with them if the opportunity ever arose? Maybe not even realistically wanted that to happen, but just felt that as a gut feeling? Just thought yeah, it'd be hot to sleep with them with the same instinctive immediate reaction that you might, say, see something delicious and think "ohhh that looks so good I wanna eat that" or see a really cool trailer and think "I SO wanna see that movie"?

That's sexual attraction. You, personally, automatically feel like you wanna have sex with somebody—possibly even a stranger!—possibly even if you know you wouldn't actually really choose to do it IRL for whatever reason—just because they're sexy.

If you haven't experienced that specific feeling before, you're almost definitely some flavor of ace.

(And even if you HAVE experienced that feeling before you might still be ace—possibly some flavor of gray-ace or demi-ace. Some people do experience that feeling, but so so very rarely that they feel like their overall experience of sexual attraction is more ace than allo. Some people experience that feeling but ONLY toward somebody they have a deep emotional connection to, whereas allos can experience that feeling toward strangers. Some people experience that feeling but if actually faced with the OPTION to have that sex they're turned off. All of these are ways to be ace. So the litmus test isn't the be-all end-all; but if that feeling has NEVER happened to you, that's probably ace.)

Based on this ask and on the comment you left me on Ao3, I'm guessing your form of engagement with sexuality is like what I wrote about in the fic: reading about characters having wild nasty sex is great, could read smut and/or smutty comics all day, maybe you fantasize about your blorbos screwing, maybe you've gotten off to these fantasies or to smut... but: all your fantasies are about somebody else having sex. Probably somebody else who isn't even real.

Are you ever in those fantasies? How do you feel about "character x reader" fics, does being y/n turn you on or does it squick you out to imagine [character] flirting with YOU? Do you ever think "wow I'D like to fuck [character]" or is it only "I wanna see [character] fuck (but I don't wanna be there myself)"? If "you" ever ARE in these fantasies, is it actually YOU, REALLY YOU, or are you just imagining the fantasy from the perspective of another character who isn't you? Do you ever have a sexual interest in the actors/voice actors, or does your sexual interest in them vanish when you aren't viewing them as their (fictional) character?

I can't tell you whether you're ace; but I can tell you that "I'm ONLY interested in FICTIONAL characters doing EACH OTHER, and I would lose interest if they were real people" is not a normal/common allosexual experience.

And if you're into micro labels, there are a couple under the asexual umbrella that describes that exact experience. The current term is aegosexual. (Older term autochorissexual; that was the current term when I learned it so I still tend to use it lmao.) It's for people whose primary experience of sexuality is fantasies that they themselves aren't part of. It's not mentioned on the page I've linked, but a LOT of aegosexuals have reported that they're specifically most into fantasies about cartoon/drawn characters and other fictional characters—the more "real" they are, the less appealing they are.

(And there's the related term "aegoromantic"—I'm focusing on sexuality here since that's mainly what the ask focused on, and also because historically I've seen less people struggle with "I don't want romance, I just enjoy reading love stories; I must be aro" compared to "I don't want sex, I just enjoy reading smut; I must be ace.")

Learning the term autochorissexual/aegosexual and why it made sense to fit under the ace umbrella is what got me over the hurdle of "oh, hey, I guess I am ace"—if you think it describes your experience, I hope it can help you too. If not, it at least shows just how varied the ace experience can be.

(I'm answering this publicly because I've seen SO MANY PEOPLE grappling with "I like FAKE sex; does that mean I can't be ace?"—many of whom have contacted me because of that fic, shocked to see someone else describe their own experiences and call it a flavor of ace—so I'm hoping this might help other questioning aces/aros! But you're also welcome to DM me!)

[remember-digimon]

Since it's pride month and I'm a lonely queer person I decided to do a quick rundown of my hc for the DigiDestined's identities. This is disregarding the epilogue bc to heck with that let these kids be queer in peace

Now I don't like to discuss the sexuality of young children purely bc they are children and I am an adult and that's weird so I'm basing this on what little knowledge I have of them in Tri alongside what I know from 01. This is them as adults ok? ok here we go

(also um. I'm a dumb millennial that lives in a corn field so uh. If I get something wrong please correct me orz)

Tai: bisexual. As if there was any other answer. Something about him just gives off 'bisexual guy' vibes. Maybe because I think he'd be a total golden retriever boyfriend and those types are usually bi

Sora: non-binary. Her upbringing kind of forced her into being feminine when she really just doesn't want to participate in gender at all

Matt: I'm gonna say pansexual bc to him it literally does not matter. He likes who he likes. Also demisexual and possibly demiromantic. He has to have a strong connection for feelings to develop

Izzy: Ace all day babyyyy. To him, sex is for making babies, but not in a religious way. He isn't sex-repulsed, it's just not a priority

Joe: the cis-hetero ally of the group. You know he's the designated driver to all the Pride events

Mimi: LESBIAN LESBIAN LESBIAN She's a high femme lesbian and she likes other femmes, butches, chapstick lesbians, just WOMEN. and she beats up TERFs bc trans women are women DUH

TK: doesn't wanna put a label on it right now, man, he's into what he's into and he'll figure it out later, my guy. A few months later he realizes he's bi and has to call Matt at 3am bc he's having a crisis, he got an iced latte that day and the male barista smiled at him and now he's having his first Gay Panic

Kari: also bi, the Kamiya family makes bi people like they have a quota to meet. She hooked up with Yolei once and it was fun. Now they listen to Chappell Roan together ❤️

Davis: the hyperactive gay guy of the found family. Falls in love at least once a month. Is terrible at hitting on guys but they always think it's endearing

Yolei: trans girl, lesbian. The others will line up to absolutely obliterate any transphobes that give her problems. She wants an idyllic lesbian romance with absolutely no children

Cody: aro/ace and unbothered by everyone else's romantic life. Don't bring the 'Tai and Matt used to make out all the time in high school' gossip to Cody, he literally does not care lol

Ken: he is gay and hopelessly in love with Davis. He sighs dreamily as Davis tries to do parkour and smacks into the ground like a wad of wet paper

[thecoolerliauditore]

There was like, a very brief period where there was a few 'jimmy cheated on scott' fics. I guess I know why now. Personally it makes me uncomfy for two mains reason: 1) Its a wholly made up scenario just to make Jimmy the toxic one. 2) I can really only personally see it as a Scott narrative. You know, That Type of Ex who says 'no' when someone says they want to break up. (And 3) they tend to tag the cheating ship as the ship and personally it's a bit upsetting to be looking up a ship and get a fic where they're cheaters and its all about this other character overcoming them, but that's a personal ick thing and they are using the tagging system correctly technically, its more a problem with there being no way to differentiate those types of ship tags from each other. It's just a bit personally upsetting to see a fic tagged with your ship and also 'happy ending' but the happy ending is them falling apart and unhappy which makes the cheated on party happy with no warning that's what it meant. Rambling, sorry...)

I think if you wanna interpret Jimmy as toxic y'ought to focus on the post-relationship period (honestly I feel this way about fh in general, nothing in their brief time together is nearly as interesting as their time after reacting to their ex to me) cause you could make a case for Jimmy being unnecessarily hostile and not wishing Scott well at all. (This I think works best if the relationship was toxic cause then you have a guy going to the opposite extreme in reply to a bad relationship, but works just as well Jimmy being That Ex that always says their ex was crazy that Scott also play in DL)

Personally I don't think there's a good faith way to dig into the thing Jimmy might have done wrong while ignoring the more obvious things Scott did wrong, but exploration is the point of fanfics and AUs. And I've read fics where people make Scott out to be Jimmy's only supporter in DL while everyone else bullied him and completely rewrote entire scenes to make Scott the hero, so you know, clearly a market for rewriting Scott's character specifically.

But my go to for toxic Jimmy in the context of fh is him being neglectful. Jimmy's always been half-hearted about the dynamic, including reframing it in his e1 pov, I think it isn't much of a stretch to elaborate that into full on getting into a relationship he wasn't enthusiastic about to begin with and the few things he does to contribute being token gestures. Maybe Jimmy tends to think the worst of the things Scott does and assume he's being condescended to (I think this works especially well if you want to make one or both autistic, cause it's very easy to read Scott's tone as such if you aren't on his wave length and Jimmy is very easily offended especially later on). I think maybe some wouldn't like that just because it requires having Jimmy not be enthusiastic about being with Scott, though.

If you interpret Scott as Aro and Jimmy as Ace, also, you can make an argument for them just doing all the wrong things and that building up resentment between them where neither want to do anything the other wants to do and that barrier of miscommunication only growing until it collapses in on them both.

But yeah, I personally have trouble not making both of them toxic if Jimmy is going to be toxic, but again most exploration fics focus in on one thing, so...

^^^for the other anon

I actually don't read much fic but yeah this makes sense to me. FYI i think the "cheating" read comes from people interpreting him and Scott as not fully broken up during the events of post-3L because there's never really a formal "we're not together anymore" announcement. But yeah looking for something for your ship and having it turn out to be a cheating fic is WILD LMAO

I don't vibe with a lot of this because I'm not fun BUT the aro scott/ace jimmy part is awesome I'm glad that seems to be catching on.

[margaretthatchersdead]

The fact that the bitching about aros has been going on for so long but people refuse to get new material. Honestly if nothing else it's just lazy and boring. Compare what people were saying a decade ago to now and it's the exact same.

"Oh but what about the aro cishet man who just uses women?" Gee, what if. At the end of the day, if you think someone feeling romantic attraction means they have a greater level of respect for people, you're really weird. Through this logic are all gay men misogynist? I mean considering how the people saying this tend to be terfs, they probably do also think that. The logic does imply that allo cishet men would be some of the greatest respecters of women and I don't think reality reflects that ngl.

"You're not queer just because you don't want to date women" Yeah I don't think you get how sexuality works bestie. "Want" isn't really how that one goes.

"You're still straight even if you don't wanna fuck" We're still on the conflating of aro and ace apparently. So many years to be educated and you've neglected to even learn the meaning of two words. Truly aro exclusionists are on another level.

"Well if they're a guy and they don't want to fuck men then they aren't lgbt" Interesting use of "lgbt" there when implying the only way any guy could be queer would be an attraction to men. I'm sure there's no other reasons whatsoever a guy could be queer.

Like it would still be bad if there was new material but at the very least I could have something for entertainment value.

[bloggingboutburgers]

I need some help.

So, I have this friend who’s Aro/Ace, and we have a very close group of us and like 2 other people. He recently came out to this group, and we’re all super supportive. He actually came out to me before the others, and I helped encourage him to tell them.

I am demisexual, and was planning on telling these same people around that time, but he got there first, and I didn’t want to be a jerk so I waited like a day to tell them, but I’m not sure if I waited long enough. He‘s also being weird about me being demi, and kind of treating me like I’m not really part of the same community, like, just little comments, not malicious or anything, but lots of little things.

I was the one to introduce him to all the fun ace memes, like, garlic bread, and such, and I’m the one who explained the difference between romantic and sexual attraction to him, and I introduced him to qprs, but he still treats me like I’m not the same.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but I’m already insecure about being aspec, but not fully ace, so it’s just kinda freaking me out. Should I talk to him about it? Just deal with it? I don’t know. I don’t want to „me too“ his identity, but I don’t want to be erased.

Thanks.

Is that like... Ace gatekeeping of sorts...? Man I'm sorry you're going through this, that sounds awkward.

Sorry I'm replying so late, I hope I'm not too late, but... Yeah, personally I would recommend talking to him about it, to find out why he's doing this. I have no idea what's going on here, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he might have felt your coming out might have undermined his in ways, even though that wasn't your intention at all and now HE's undermining yours...

Coming out is a very personal experience that should be up to a person's choice on when and how it's best to do it, so it's important for him to be able to respect yours like you did your best to respect his.

Being queer, and being on the asexual spectrum, is also very personal and CAN lead one to being defensive after having been othered for so long, not sure why, maybe 'cus we're afraid we might be damaged in the process or reduced to an image we don't wanna be reduced to. I mean... I don't know if it's a universal experience, but for instance, while I'm always happy to meet other aros and aces, I have trouble engaging in aroace-dedicated communities (welp... mostly 'cus I'm afraid of groups) but also and mostly, every time I get recommended a work with aro or ace characters in it, it hardly ever fails to give me a massive nervous stomachache and make me want to put off checking out said work forever, 'cus... I think I'm scared of finding out the many ways my identity can get undermined in the process, ironically.

I'm not sure what causes this. Maybe growing up in a reality that's so hostile to being on the aro and ace spectrums fucked me up. And maybe there's something like that going on for him too, though I don't wanna project at all. I can only ever speak about my own experience.

Either way... Both of you are valid in both of your ways, he shouldn't be gatekeeping anything, indirectly or not, especially when you've been so open to sharing your experience, and yeah, you're not the same, but you're on the same spectrum, and there are part of your struggles that you share, and he should respect that. Just because your experience doesn't 100% align with his doesn't undermine either of you. You're in this together and you should be able to have each others' backs. I sincerely hope you can talk it out and I hope he doesn't get too defensive about it... But yeah, I hope you can get your feelings across to him as well, 'cus you don't deserve this. I sincerely wish you both the best.

[pixelkip]

Before June is over I just wanna mention some kinda shit things I've faced specifically bc I'm arospec ace (and sex repulsed) and that I don't think I've seen many other people talk about

- having any opinion at all about a sensitive topic that's sexual in nature and being told "oh well of course this bothers you so much, you're ace/sex repulsed"

(And yes I've had this done to me even by people who meant well, the treatment of asexual people like they can never handle sexual topics goes beyond obvious "but you're so innocent uwu" type shit)

- people misconstruing being ace/aro as "well you're just too focused on important things to care about that kind of thing" that's not how this works, that's now how any of this works.

- this could also be an anxiety/not getting social stuff very well thing, but the constant worry that showing any kind of affection could come off as flirting or creepy, and generally not understanding what people consider inherently sexual or romantic

- being called too sensitive or being told "well I'm sure they didn't mean it that way!" when calling something out as feeling aphobic, intentional or not. (also have had even people who mean well do this) even if something isn't meant that way I can still acknowledge that it's hurtful

- sexual shit being like half the crux of a lot of people's sense of humor. Even as someone who believes that sex might be even funnier from an ace perspective sometimes, ffs when it's such a large portion of what people find funny it gets really annoying. Not even just like high-school level humor (that I am self admitted to have LMAO) but even well thought out jokes about people's sex lives or romantic issues are so fucking dull to me a lot of the time.

- this one is gonna sound silly to a lot of people, but liking any media where sex and romance are just about never present, but nearly everything fandom wants to do with it is sexual and romantic in nature, can't have a character analysis without talking about all the implications of why this character should be shipped with this one, etc. Yea a real head scratcher what i of all people could possibly be referring to here shuttup

- might just be me but like. People not understanding that sex repulsion doesn't just mean "ewww never talk about sex around me!!!!!" But can still mean "I get uncomfortable around sexual topics even when its not specifically about me"

I just thought I'd share bc it feels really isolating sometimes, and I figured if anyone else deals with this then you're definitely not the only one

[prince-liest]

I feel like this is a risky question but if you don’t want to answer you know what to do. Reading 666 I questioned so many things on love and relationships that I’d already started to question before, but not to such extent. Inevitably this led to a talk with my psychologist (you know how people joke “my therapist will hear about you” well yeah that happened) and asked her what’s the difference between romantic and platonic love if we exclude social expectations. To this she replied it’s sexual chemistry you can have with more than one person, and nothing more. Beside that, it’s technically still just “platonic”. The more I think about it the more sense it makes. In which case, I wanna ask if you agree as an aroace, and in the terms of 666 does that technically mean Alastor loves Vox in that sense? I think you’ve said before he wouldn’t go as far with anyone else, so I guess I’m asking you if he feels genuine sexual chemistry with him, because I do have a hard time figuring that out while reading (unreliable narrator is my enemy) and most of the time I’m even more confused than Vox is on how much Alastor is enjoying anything sex related

I have a couple of things to say about this one, haha. It was interesting to think about, and I'm admittedly more delighted than I should be that I've made it into someone's therapy session, hahaha.

Firstly, I disagree with your psych about how to define romantic love and I think the same would go for a ton of people both aro and allo. "Friends with benefits" is a known concept that is different from "romantic partner" for a reason, and I don't think we'd have so many "we started out friends with benefits but, oh no, we caught feelings down the line, how unexpected!" romance plotlines if friends with benefits was the same thing as a romance apart from social expectations. Also, this way of describing non-platonic love makes it impossible for non-aro ace people to love romantically purely by definition, and I think many non-aro ace folks would disagree with that.

Secondly, Alastor isn't sexually attracted to Vox in 666 regardless. He enjoys the things they do, which is very different. Not to get too clinical about it, but he doesn't even tend to experience sexual arousal unless they're getting up to the very specific type of acts that he's personally into, which is why every time Alastor is taking on the dominant role his internal narration is pretty much just going on about wanting to eat Vox whole - it's entirely a non-sexual sadism thing for him, even if Vox is still getting off. It's possible to enjoy sexual activities for reasons other than sexual gratification, and that's about 80% of what Alastor gets out of their encounters.

If you want to see what it looks like when I write from the POV of a character who is sexually attracted to their partner as a point of comparison, I recommend reading How to Bag an Angel: Take That, Depression! and then contrasting that to Alastor's internal narrative in the 666 chapter where he fucks Vox. But as a straight answer, I write Alastor as a character who sometimes gets off on being forced into submission/humiliation, and not really all that much else.

I think defining romantic vs platonic feelings can be very personal, and both psychologists and philosophers have been trying to do it for ages, so it's something that you kind of have to define for yourself - but that's my view on it as pertains to this fic, at least! I hope that was helpful!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Which of the creepypastas would be okay with an asexual s/o?

Creepypastas w/ an ace!reader!

yahoo!! sorry for taking so long to get to this!! i kinda had a small lil slump for a few days but im back!! sorry for any typos or if these seem... bllluguuguh!!! im still trying to get through that lil slump so my brains still a lil... boo!!! obligatory these are with characters that i think would be compatible with an ace reader so this isnt going to follow my base/go to list of characters! a lot of these are going to dip into admins experience as someone on the ace spectrum (asexual/aegosexual!) reader is written as vague ace identity but like. mostly involved to be ace. admittedly this leans more into most of this being ace hcs since i think for the most part they dont care/dont find issue with your identity

Characters: Slenderman, Trenderman, Eyeless Jack, Masky

CWs: mentions of sex but like. nothing too bad mostly just vague sex drives and that sort of thing, really!

Slenderman;

honestly i think he might be on the ace spectrum, or maybe thats because i dont think he really knows what sex /is/

okay well he does know what it is but he only understands it on a surface level, but otherwise he doesnt really care much for it in an everyday setting

yeah i think hes on the spectrum; i also think he might be on the aro spectrum!

only really initiates intimacy if you want it (reminder that not all aces dont have sex! attraction stuff is the main thing) but otherwise i would write him the same way as i do with a non-asexual reader!

extra headannon since his is kinda short but really hes probably the most supportive out of any creepypasta simply because i like to write him as this entity that doesnt interact much with others but is still. curious. this man does not know what lgbtphobia is (and thinks its dumb when he does find out!)

Trenderman;

very similar with slenderman but more in tuned with identity stuff and things like that

personally i hc him to be greysexual, or demisexual! i think trender is like. the only one out of the 3 brothers (that i claim) that i dont see being ready to get down and dirty? like unlike slender he KNOWS what it is and understands attraction and all that but just doesnt. feel it

so he gets it! he interacts with people more than slender but like. not openly, i mean like not as himsef?! this is kind of a side tangent but i like to think that slender beings can create false human bodies and trender is the main one who uses it

anyways! im kind of getting off topic

he understands the stigma and hate ace people can get so out of the four characters today i think he would be the most likely to offer an ear when youre getting flack

i wish i had more for trender as well but this is genuinely the first time ive written for him so im still all OWOWOOOUGH!! with how i wanna portray him

speaking of i need to do like a catch up post for him, and some other characters so i might do that soon^^

Eyeless Jack;

okay so! the two above characters are fine with it because theyre on the spectrum above but i feel like eyeless jack just outright doesnt care if your ace or not since he has a fairly low sex drive 99% of the time

sappy man, one of those "i prefer people based on their personality rather than their looks" but not in the "im so deep for this and im lying through my teeth" way i (personally) see people say (school was ROUGH man) but in a "im literally turning into a monster my skin is fucking blue and starting to rot i have no place to say anything" way

anyways

he adores you so so much and he really feels like he doesnt deserve you, bro could not care

probably tries to find flowers around his cabin that make up the ace flag/which ever flag you use

though im not sure how many grey flowers there are... hes trying his best!

Masky;

similar to eyeless jack he has a low sex drive imo so it isnt too much of a big deal to him, plus i think hes graysexual? at least i feel like he would if he knew about the label

i think asides slender and trender, he doesnt know much about this sort of thing so youre probably going to explain it to him

he mostly gets it! he gets things mixed up but hes trying his best!

overall supportive bf!! probably steals a pride pin from somewhere (dont ask)

imagine he grabs the wrong pin/j

wweoeoeohh! i hope this post is okay! admittedly i wasnt sure how this was going to turn out since, as stated above, i feel that a lot of the characters wouldnt mind/are on the spectrum themselves im not gonna lie this couldve been better but im so out of it rn that my brain is all scattered n stuff :( regardless i hope this is sufficient, and once again im so sorry for the wait TToTT

[spyroforlife]

not gonna reblog the actual post I saw because I don't feel like derailing and I will always just give people room to be haters on their own blogs, I understand the venting, I do. But it's always so funny to me when I see posts like "just let this ace/aro character be ace/aro you weird fuckin shippers!!"

because like

babes

they still are

they literally are whatever they are in canon. That is always gonna be the same. The representation is not being taken away from you in any way whatsoever because other fans are doing what fans do and making silly lil shipping drawings and fics, because they just personally find shipping fun and will do it to literally whoever they find interesting and want to imagine in situationships

The creator of your fav ace blorbo is not gonna go on Tumblr.com and look in the fandom tags and see a drawing of them making out with another character and go "hmm you know what. I dig that more actually. So asexuality retconned, he's gonna fuck (character) on screen now <3"

That doesn't happen. Can seeing the ship art be off-putting if you can't see the character being like that? Of course! Yes! Not denying it! But like. They're not changing anything about the character in canon. It's not some kind of problem in fandom that needs to be fixed. Shipping just happens, pretty sure it's a goddamn rule of the Internet.

But I promise you, there is still gonna be a variety of fans who would MUCH RATHER actually focus on that asexuality and/or aromanticism and discuss that, and portray it in their works. You can follow those people specifically, and join in their discussions! And who knows, it might get more people talking about it, so you'll see more of what you actually wanna see with the character.

It's just like. Idk. I get complaining but I just start feeling itchy as soon as it takes a turn into any sort of "so other people SHOULDN'T do x/y/z with blorbo actually" because okay hit the brakes, fandom is just for fun, it's a hobby, shipping is just playing around in imagination land and who cares if people do dumb or impossible things. You can dislike it, you can want to avoid it, but trying to tell other people what they can and can't do with fictional characters??

idk man. just rubs me the wrong way I guess. And in the end I'm just ALSO bitching about a fandom thing on my own blog and this ultimately doesn't matter too much to me because I DO have a job and fandom is just a hobby for me.

But I guess I just really don't see people shipping aroace characters as a big deal, because let's be real shipping has ALWAYS been about ignoring canon sexualities, this is nothing new. People will literally just smash together whoever they find hottest, or the most fascinating, or the most fucked up, or whatever tickles their fancy. And what's happening in some weird lil corner of fandom just isn't gonna have any impact on what actually happens with the canon character relationships, and it was never about that anyway, so. who cares and let people have fun. I promise when you go back to whatever media your blorbo is from, they're still gonna be their cool asexual/aromantic selves, because canon isn't fanon

signed, an asexual who gets amusement from dumb ships because I know I personally would never do this stuff but it's fun living it through random fictional characters <3

[allastoredeer]

I just read your entire Just Kiss Already series up to the latest one with the huge fight between the two and ARGH you write them both so well!! Especially Lucifer, his anxiety and stumbling-through-his-words dialogue that makes him oh so relatable to me are perfect. And as an English Language and Literature graduate who's not a native English speaker, your writing has some GREAT vocabulary and phrases I absolutely love.

As someone aroaceage myself (on all 3 spectrums not 100% completely aromantic, asexual, or agender, just FYI since people forget it's a spectrum and then attack me way too often and now I'm wary) it's so refreshing to see another aroace person writing Alastor with his "I hate personal space invasion" attitude that I share. I strictly hate giving up my privacy and your explanation for how Al feels makes so much sense (and also makes me feel like I won't be friendless my whole life, so thanks :') if Alastor can end up with someone despite hating intimacy and if Lucifer can despite being awkward and desperate then damn. Maybe so can I). Oh, and Vox being the pathetic desperate wet tissue he is is soo entertaining. I don't babygirl-ise characters often but he's just so. Fun to watch embarass himself. I can't help it.

I came to your blog just to say this but got a lot of RadioApple discourse that I'm honestly a bit intimidated by since I wasn't aware of all this happening at all, I just follow a very select few creators and now I don't know whether I'm doing something wrong. Personally I don't care much about top/bottom dynamics (except in certain situations) so I'm just confused and worried lol. And what's with the outfits and likes??? I'm out of the entire loop. But I'm glad conversations are happening when they should!

Anyway, I canNOT wait for more from your series, wherever it goes. I'd draw fanart or write fics in your AU with your permission but I'm currently having every creative block known to humanity for several years. Somehow.

I usually comment on AO3 itself but you connected your Tumblr after every chapter so it felt right to come here, even tho I'm not too active on social media sites. I hope you don't mind my mostly-unrelated rambles. All the kudos to your fics!

First and foremost: You aren't doing anything wrong.

It's fine if you're out of the loop. There's really no loop to begin with. It's just some fandom tropes and characterizations a handful of us don't enjoy seeing and we're ranting about it LOL If you like any of those tropes or characterizations, or follow people who make art/fics with them, there's nothing wrong with that either. There's no need to be worried, you're doing just fine 😊

Secondly, THANK YOU!!!

I don't think anyone is 100% ace, aro, or agender, it's a spectrum, afterall. There's no meter you have to reach to be considered 100% a sexuality, you just are :) If you say you're ace, aro, or agender, that's what you are, and anyone who wants to argue about it can go kick rocks.

I base a lot of how I write Alastor's aceness on myself, so hearing people say they feel the same is just (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) It's so amazing to hear. I'm a very private person and I like my personal space; I'm not a very physically touchy person, and thankfully, I have an amazing friend (who's love language is physical touch and affection) who knows and understands this and doesn't touch or hug me without permission - I love her so much T.T

Vox is such a pathetic wet tissue and that's what I love about him

(づ￣ ³￣)づ I wanna give him a little kiss on his big, flat forehead.

I'm so happy you're enjoying my fics and relating to them so much. I don't think there's a higher compliment an author can get than their readers saying that they saw themselves in the story and characters. It's such an amazing feeling, it makes me all warm and tingly inside.

Once your creative block lets up - whenever that may be - you have my full permission to draw and write as much as you want in my AU.

Thanks for visiting my tumblr!! Sorry you felt intimidated by the discourse, that's not fun. Just know that you're not doing anything wrong, and whatever fandom content you engage with is perfectly fine and you shouldn't feel bad about enjoying it ^.^ Fandom is escapism and we're all here to have a good time.

Thank you for your rambles!! I enjoyed reading them!!

[acearchivist359]

not to get sappy about heartstopper season three coming out but the scene of isaac coming out to his friends as asexual [and aromantic of course i don’t want to erase that from the scene because that’s also very important to his character but it’s his asexuality that impacted me and that’s what i wanna talk about not to diminish him being aro rep but what him also being ace rep has meant to me personally] and talking about it with them has just been stuck in my head all day since i watched that episode and it’s so important to me that scene exists and i’ve been emotional about it all day

heartstopper season two and the character of isaac were kind of accidentally instrumental in my… journey i guess, for lack of a better word, of really coming to terms with and accepting my own asexuality. the fact that i was ace had been something that i’d kinda known for a long time but refused for years to actually acknowledge and really accept. i learned the word asexual from this app actually when i was like 13 and it was like as soon as i learned the word i… resonated with it somehow. from the ages of about 13 to almost 21 it was something that would pop into my head every now and then as a concept but i would always push it down and kinda be like “well i don’t have time to think about that right now” “i don’t have time to have that breakdown right now”

it wasn’t until i was like 18 that i met the majority of my friends and that i ended up really facing it for the first time through having one of my friends actually talk about it. i met my friends through an spn group chat in 2020 when those were really popular and as those things go it eventually trickled down from being a lot of us to just a few. eventually one of my friends had been kinda tossing around that they might be ace and they’d kinda been asking our other friends what sexual attraction kinda felt like and i really realized in that conversation that i . very much didn’t know. even without really intending to identify as ace or come out at all in that conversation i really questioned it too i mean i was even asking my own questions by the end.

i didn’t end up actually coming out until… early to mid 2023 and by that point it was like . the closet was glass i mean i wasn’t even hiding it. my best friend [who was in the gc answering our sexual attraction questions a few years back] was calling me ace already by that point and i pretty much knew that i was but i had a hard time saying it for awhile. i think part of my problem was i don’t know much and i had a hard time grasping at my feelings about sex and attraction enough to really feel.. settled with it. i think also . it had become kind of a joke in my friend group that i was the token straight cishet friend and that even extended outside of just my friends on twitter with my irl best friend coming out as by in the last few years and my sister being a trans lesbian. and i am still straight and cis but . i felt weird about the idea of stepping out of that identity like idk i was worried what people would think. not that i thought my friends cared i mean they all kinda knew but … i couldn’t stop thinking that if i was wrong and i actually was just straight cishet and most importantly allo i felt that i would’ve.. lied ? i guess? like if i was wrong i was just like … co opting other people’s identities. even though i was pretty sure. but the trouble was i didn’t really have much to actually go off when it came to sexual experiences or anything cause at that point i’d been mostly single since like 15 besides one kinda complicated on and off situationship [which actually that guy was the first person to suggest to my face i might be ace and i probably should have listened] and i felt like i couldn’t say anything definitive somehow without that.

that continued for awhile. the other big thing that happened was when i got into the magnus archives and the main character was so relatable to me in so many ways and was also canonically ace, my first bit of ace rep i saw, and i couldn’t get that out of my head. i spiralled about it a lot in voice messages to my best friend and finally consulted my ace friends like a smart person. the most monumental thing for me was when i talked to one of my friends who identifies as ace and i told him i was worried that maybe i wasn’t ace but i just had really weird thoughts and feelings about sex and i couldn’t tell if it was a brain thing or a real lack of attraction. what he told me was essentially that well it’s my brain . and if that is a label that fits how i think about things then it can be a label for me.

that’s about when heartstopper season two came out. i’d mostly accepted that i was ace, i’d basically had a breakdown about it to all of my friends as well as my sister, i knew that i was deep down but i had a hard time saying it. i’d actually also just started seeing my now boyfriend at that point and that had become a thing i was really stuck on. i spent a lot of time worrying about what my asexuality would mean for my relationship because my boyfriend is straight cis and allo. and while i am also most of those things i spent my formative years on tumblr in fandom and he spent his .. being a hockey player. and it wasn’t that i thought he wouldn’t accept me because he did when i eventually told him but … i couldn’t get past the idea that sex was not very important to me but it could be to him and i didn’t know how i felt about having it and didn’t know what that reluctance would mean. i also just don’t really place a lot of value on it within relationships and i worried he would and that it would somehow be a dealbreaker that i didn’t. which it wasn’t cause that was almost a year and a half ago and we’re still together and we manage everything fine. so when season two came out that’s where my head was. so watching isaac realizing he was ace and struggling with the concepts of it really struck me. when i finished that season i went into an absolute spiral of scrolling through post about asexuality and researching it. i even actually picked up that book that isaac reads. and while there things in that book that didn’t sit right with me there were also many things that did.

that was really the key i think to finally actually coming out for me. that was the point where i finally actually felt solidified in it. i still don’t know necessarily where i stand fully on the ace spectrum but . i could actually say with confidence that i was ace and mean it. where before i either didn’t really talk about it or i dismissed it with “probably ace” or “possibly ace”. i was asexual. i am asexual. so to watch isaac now in season three talk about it to his friends and open up to them and just . fully know and understand it really hit me to see. i wish that i had been able to see something like that when i was a bit younger and maybe i could have spent less years pushing away the inevitable but . i owe a lot to isaac and to alice oseman and the the show for exploring that. i think if i didn’t resonate with isaac and his method of processing his asexuality so much in season two i’d have continued to have a hard time saying that i was ace for a while. i’m proud of isaac and how far he’s come …. and i’m proud of myself too.

[ahbeduo]

REALLY?! U WANNA KNOW SUBJECT 2 HCS FROM LIL OLD ME?! HEHEHE I THOUGHT YOUD NEVER ASK!!!

I like to think his name is Dorian :3 leakers were digging in the files a while back and found out that the texture for his model is called “Dorian” so that’s where it came from. Dorian is Greek for “gift”, but also comes from the name Doerain, which means “wanderer” or “exile” which I think is sad but fitting LMAO. (Dorian is also in reference to Oscar Wilde’s novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray. If ur interested u should look into it, bc I’d butcher the summary lol)

I like to think that bros a more feral version of Albedo. Albedo is domesticated, Dorian is not HFHDH. He’s much easier to anger, but he wouldn’t put up a fight unless provoked or attacked first.

The reason…he was never trained in any kind of sword fighting style. He can swing a sword around but there’s a 1/99 chance that it would actually hurt someone.

I gave him a Cryo vision bc I mean. Just look at him. That pathetic little mess of a guy is the archetype for Cryo. I like to think he’s a catalyst user (and his best weapon is “Frostbearer” and he relies on it more than his sword hehe. Playstyle wise I’d make him scale off of ATK to contrast Albedo’s DEF scaling)

For his relationships, he prefers Klee’s more upbeat and bouncy nature. She doesn’t seem to mind that he’s not Albedo, and treats him like a brother regardless. He’d take her fishblasting any day <3

Albedo…he’s wary around. Even if they were to make up and all that, his vibe around would probably be very much the feeling you get when you go over to a friend’s house and you feel like you have to impress their parents in order to be allowed in. Does that make sense?? Basically he’s walking on eggshells even if Albedo tells him he’s fine LMAO

While he’s made his appearance a bit different from Albedo (red/maroon/black color scheme, hair either down on his shoulders or in a low and messy braid, and a little thinner than Albedo due to Albedo having built up muscle from sword-wielding), sometimes he switches back to Albedo’s form to mess with people. Specifically the Traveler. He’s a little prankster!!

Even tho he’s used to the cold, he loves warmth. U light up a fire and Dorian will sit so close his hair will singe at the edges. He also loves spicy food <3 (when he lived in Dragonspine he ate like. Unseasoned roasted meat and snow. So he craves any kind of flavor now)

I hc him as aro-ace, and also nonbinary for some fics I write :D I mostly do that just to differentiate between Albedo and him (I write him without a name sometimes so using the “he/him” pronouns twice over without stating who’s speaking is very complicated so I use “they/them” for ease of reading) but also bc I feel like. After 500 years of sleeping in poison dragon tummy soup, one would sort of dissociate from the whole gender thing.

Hehehehehe there u go there’s some hcs 👉👈 I love my little guy he’s so sad and I LOOOOOVE the angst potential with him. Lmk what u think :D

uwahhhh those are yummy, thank you for the snacks 😋

Idk what to say there, just know that your HCs are valid! Some of them, like how rocky his relationship with Albedo is, are something i do think of too! Like yeh they cool, but that doesn't erase the fact Albedo is the favourite child. And and and the fact he likes flavours like spicy- I think he doesn't like very sweet things either

[matsaysyes]

hey this might sound weird but im currently writing a story that heavily involves talking about the experience of being aroace. i js wanna be as accurate and inclusive as possible so if you could share some thoughts or experiences you think should be included that would be literally incredible

thanks! <3

I don’t mind at all! I think a big thing in the AroAce community is a feeling of loneliness. Not just because you won’t have a traditional romantic/sexual relationship with someone. It’s also a big feeling of loneliness within alloromantic/allosexual groups and even lgbt+ groups. I think the video by Jaiden Animations does a really good job at showing that. There’s a lot of pushback from people that Aromantic and Asexual aren’t real and that romantic feelings and sexual feelings are the same. Those are a lot of the issues that AroAce people, like myself, have to deal with.

Obviously the experience of being AroAce isn’t just all negatives though. Aromantic and Asexual are both spectrums and there are lots of different specific identities within them. It’s not just black and white. A big misconception about Aromantic and Asexual people is that you don’t want to be in those types of relationships or you have a low libido or you haven’t met the right person yet, etc. This isn’t true. Being aroace means you have little to no sexual and romantic attraction. You can still have sex with people or date people.

Some people of course don’t want those types or relationships but some do. Some people want a type of family unit. Living with someone who will always be with you maybe even have a child. All/most of it being platonic. This is what we call Queer platonic relationships. When you have a relationship with someone that is in between platonic and romantic/sexual. It can vary between different people because aro and ace are spectrums. It can be with someone almost like a life long friend who you live with. It can also be a life long friend who you might kiss and have a kid with (adopted or otherwise) even without the romantic and sexual attraction. Of course with these types of relationships you have to fully communicate what you want and how you feel.

I will now get into the specifics of how I personally feel. This paragraph will of course not be the same for everyone on the aroace spectrum. I personally am repulsed by the idea of sex. On the other hand I’m a hopeless romantic which makes me with I had those feelings towards people. It’s very hard for me to imagine what being attracted in those ways to people would be like. I don’t understand crushes or when people are called hot. Even though I long for a romance once I actually get one I feel absolutely disgusted when people flirt with me or kiss me. I love my friends and family dearly and I hate being called a robot for not wanting to date someone. I hate whenever having a friend you care about (especially one of the same gender) always turns into an investigation from everyone about whether or not you like them. Especially in school.

The biggest thing I want people to take away from this is that if anyone ever try’s to understand or represent a group (especially if you’re not apart of it) you should ask people who are. Multiple people, especially when those groups are spectrums like the Aromantic or Autism spectrums for example. I hope that I could in some way help you with your story. <3

[wraithdance]

The more I learn about the aro/ace spectrum, the more I think that everyone's definition of In Love can be a little different (even if there's one definition that seems to really be pushed by society).

I feel like I'm a person that has a lot of love for people in general, like I do feel like it's limitless almost (Have I been googling poly info more? Maybe...). The main constraints on love for me are time and my own energy levels lol

Whether it's a platonic or romantic relationship, the way I express love is very similar. But for me being In Love comes with feelings of passion/sexual desire, so like the standard/traditional model. I have friends that I love deeply, but I don't want to have sex with them. Which if you're on the aro/ace spectrum that probably seems conflicting/impossible (not the words I'm looking for but I can't think of the right one).

I think the traditional idea of being In Love feels very tied to the idea of romance. So if you're aro you probably feel very othered/left out. But I think that just means your relationships wouldn't fit in the tiny box society wants it to. Like whatever makes you happy is what's important and finding people who are compatible with your idea of happiness. Bc relationships are not just about the individual. I can believe I'm In Love with someone, but that does not mean they have to express the same feelings back.

I also learned about the different greek words for love in college and i think that helped me understand things a little better, english can be so limiting lol. Eros I guess seems the most close to what In Love feels like for me, but Philia is how I see loving in general.

Not sure if this helps, just my take on how I feel. I'm curious about aro/ace people describing their thoughts.

Hi my love thank you for answering my question!! I agree with everything you said.

Gonna ramble under the cut per usual so lmao you can skip if you don’t want the Calvary lore deep cut edition you can skip lmao!

Yes omg so realizing I may be aro/ace (from Voids SDJ fic of all things 💀) has been such an interesting and strange experience. Like I’ve known since 5 years old that I liked girls but I’ve always had to force myself to have crushes like my friends because I’d get ragged on if I didn’t

Literally my first fight was when my bully tried to get me to tell her what boy I liked in school and I was literally standing there like… well miss girl I have news for you… she beat me up and I was so mad because I’m like girl???

I’ve NEVER thought about marriage ever. I’ve thought about kids and a career but the idea of marriage has never been aspirational for me. I know for sure I’m a one person at a time partner and if I did get into a relationship I would want that to be a standard but I can’t get a relationship when I can’t understand what people be talking bout when they say they’re ‘in love’ 💀 wtff does that mean lmao.

It’s the same thing with sex for me. I don’t naturally feel sexual attraction to a person unless there’s a power dynamic I’m involved in or I know/trust them so that’s been weird to navigate because people find me hot and assume I wanna smash but anywho! Rambling!

But yeah I asked because I didn’t wanna feel like I was faking being Aromantic but I’m now convinced more than ever I am lmaooo