#i just really love unconventional relationships that are so messy and blurry and inexplicable

[vasito-de-leche]

;R1999 PAVIA - Love Languages (receiving)

Headcanons and analysis on Pavia's love languages and the way he likes to receive affection. A continuation of this post.

before anyone accuses me of favoritism because all three re1999 posts I have are for Pavia - why yes, he's my fave lil guy and I'm glad the previous posts were so well received by other Pavia fans <3

anyway, here's the second part! as usual, my askbox is open for requests!

I do recommend reading the first post linked above, since it goes into how Pavia is perceived by others and how he plays into certain aspects when its convenient for him, among other things. That detail is important, as it applies to this post too - there is a noticeable contrast between the way Pavia acts and the way he feels, within the context of receiving and asking for attention.

This time, there is no third party that validates and enables his shenanigans, no "other" to use as an excuse for his behaviour. And so, it's more of an internal conflict. For Pavia, asking for affection is different than receiving it without having to prod anyone for it - the latter puts him in a much more vulnerable and uncomfortable position.

Due to his line of work, lifestyle and background, Pavia has grown used to simply taking what wants, he isn't shy when it comes to asking for things either, there's that cocky confidence that paints him as an entitled and brash person. But I'd argue that Pavia, more than anyone, knows that to have this sort of power one has to earn it first. Otherwise, he'd be all bark and no bite. When he asks for affection, it's direct - he'll tell you to praise him for whatever mission he might've succesfully completed, he playfully complains about "being the one that does everything around here" and nags you until you comply.

And this is when you realize, it's not affection that he's asking for, it's attention.

And we could talk about how attention is part of showing affection: one must be attentive to their loved ones to know how they'd like to be cherished. But in Pavia's case, it's more of an association he's made in his mind. This stems from the neglect he suffered as a child - shallow attention in any form, positive or negative, is good (as long as he's actively seeking for it). To be seen and recognized is a privilege, and there must be something unique about you that makes others want to acknowledge you, easy.

I mentioned in the previous post that Pavia would struggle with the idea of caring about someone other than himself without any ulterior motives, it also applies on reverse - he struggles with the idea of someone caring about him without wanting something in return. In my other post where I analyze him more in-depth as a character (I'm so sorry that it feels like there's reqUIRED READINGS FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND MY PAVIA POSTS NOW) I tackle the fact that Pavia does not have some deep seated loneliness that makes him yearn for genuine human contact nor for someone to show him the common ways that people show they care for each other. That his lifestyle has led him to a total rejection of the world and society that failed him. All of this still applies.

Pavia operates by distancing himself as much as possible from conventional society and its norms - this includes affection. When he tells you to praise him for a job well done, it's because he's fine with the superficial and fleeting moment of attention. When his company is used as punishment, he loves knowing that his existence cannot be ignored because of how much others dislike him. Because all of this earns him a moment of enjoyment that also enforces his place outside of conventional society.

This is a lot of text to say that Pavia is a person who can only handle being appreciated from a distance, basically. And it shows when receiving affection entirely unprompted. To continue drawing parallels to him and wolves, you need to earn his trust for that sort of interaction, you need to be part of the pack instead of drag him into what he perceives to be "shitty, boring society". And you'll know you've done so when he shows you, through actions and not superficial words, that he gives the smallest of shits about you.

Okay, with that out of the way, here are Pavia's love languages.

Giving: Quality Time, Gifts

Receiving: Quality Time, Physical Touch

[Quality Time]

Just like before, quality time is used loosely and it matches the explanation in the previous post perfectly: he shows affection to those he trusts by lingering and orbiting around them, inserting himself into their lives and routines, and having the privilege to come and go and know that he'll be welcomed back with open arms.

In the context of receiving, it's the same. Pavia enjoys knowing that those he trusts feel comfortable enough to seek him out casually, that they'll offer their own time to spend it with him. You have the privilege to come and go as you like because you're part of the pack.

The difference is that, when showing affection through quality time, Pavia tends to take a more active role by entirely messing up your schedule and leading you into all sorts of shenanigans - with the very scarce days in which he simply trails after you. There's nothing that brings two people closer than running from the cops together, after all! But when receiving affection through quality time, he's noticeably more passive. If you happen to show up during downtime, you'll be privy to the mess that is his home and he'll leave you to your own devices (just don't touch his collections and you'll be fine).

Snoop around to your heart's content, it's fine. Because you're part of his little family, he sees nothing wrong with you walking around as if you owned the place. To Pavia, you might as well just live there, and he'll give you a spare key if you ever want to hang out, even while he's not present. As far as he's concerned, this is your home too.

The only thing you'll have to learn is the many different spots that are already taken by the pack. You'll know which ones are Andrea's by the permanent slobber and drool coating the pillows and couches, and you'll know where Pavia tends to sit and spend his time, because none of the wolves ever approach his spots without his permission. Of course, this is Pavia and his pack we're talking about - they break their own rules as often as they enforce them, so one day you might encounter a very territorial Maleficent, only to see everyone huddled up together on Pavia's bed the next day, with him buried in a pile of dark, fluffy shadows. It's all about picking up on the general vibe. These guys just love parallel play.

But when I say that you might as well just live there, I mean it. You could show up one day with your own bedframe, drag it over to one of the unused rooms, claim it as your own and no one will raise an eyebrow. If else, Pavia will be in extremely high spirits, praising your initiative and insisting that now that you live here, you can absolutely take over dish cleaning duty.

Aside from that, you also get the privilege of bothering him during work, if you have the guts to do so. Pavia might tell you to fuck off or brush you off from time to time, but by now you're fully aware that that you can stay - as long as you don't become an active obstacle. Of course, there'll be consequences if his superiors or coworkers find out, but everyone also knows better than to try and negotiate with Pavia. He really couldn't care less, however, because having you involved with the mafia means having someone that he can actually tolerate.

And in a more traditional description of quality time, Pavia actually enjoys surprise outings and dates - whether it's a fancy dinner at some expensive restaurant or you coming up to him one night because you need his help in disposing a body. Once he's fine with having you take the lead and be the one dragging him blind into shenanigans instead, that's when you'll know Pavia fully trusts you.

[Physical Touch]

I want to stress the fact that Pavia is very casual with physical touch with everyone around him, on the basis that he loves making people squirm in fear whenever he invades their personal bubbles. The contrast of his intimidating and murderous ways, with him casually patting his targets on the back or acting all chummy with them, has proven to be a great torture method for those faint of heart.

He's friendly and casual to get what he wants, it's as easy as that. It could be getting someone on his good side or sending a message. A very subtle, threatening message. But it's noticeable nonetheless! That predatory grin of his often gives him away, it's also obvious in the tone of his voice.

However, being the one on the receiving end yields mixed results, depending on the time and context of the situation. But it's safe to assume that, most of the time, Pavia is a hypocrite and thus territorial of his own personal space. It doesn't matter if he's in the middle of an important meeting with other influential families in Sicily, if someone does as much as rest a hand on his shoulder, Pavia will bare his teeth and tell them to fuck off.

People he tolerates can get away with minor things, like wrapping an arm around his shoulders, playfully nudging him, and so on - within his limits, of course. But those he trusts? They get a pass for pretty much whatever.

I wouldn't say that Pavia is touchstarved, but he absolutely acts more similarly to a dog in this regard. Again, he enjoys the casualness of it all, the confidence his loved ones display when they simply walk up to him and hold his hand or sit on his lap, all of this stemming from the fact that there's mutual trust and thus, it's just normal behaviour for them to engage in. That's the part he enjoys about receiving affection through physical touch. The same way he pets the wolves of the pack, you can do that to him as well by ruffling his hair, scratching under his chin and so on. You can just lay down on his lap when he's sitting down to chill, tug and cling onto his shirt when walking, link arms or hold hands, shove your cold clammy hands into his shirt. Literally, free real estate. There are little to no boundaries when it comes to being part of the pack (on account of it being some sort of a hivemind, since he DOES control the wolves), so in the scarce moments when he might have an issue, it's as easy as kicking you off and laughing about it.

Physical touch might not be one of his preferred love languages to give and show, but Pavia does reciprocate sometimes. More often than not, he's known for biting - not enough to hurt, unless you piss him off or he wants to annoy you, just a nip here and there, anywhere he can access. Biting and headbutting are pretty much Pavia's version of hugs and kisses.

And now, as a closing point, I'd say that this is when Pavia's aggressive reluctance to be part of conventional society are more obvious, when his own perception as to what is normal is put under the spotlight - he's fine with any sort of physical contact from those he trusts, as long as they don't ever perceive these casual, caring touches and displays of affection (as unorthodox as they may be) as concepts from conventional society. Like, a monogamous or maybe an open relationship. A friends with benefits situation. A friendship between two affectionate people. A familial bond of two people who are like siblings. Whatever.

Pavia is intense, and he's often the one pushing the line between what's acceptable and what isn't when it comes to your boundaries, but in the end? He's the one waiting to learn what's okay and what isn't, because he knows his own limits and isn't afraid of enforcing them, but he doesn't know yours.

You could literally start walking around naked around the house and Pavia wouldn't give a single fuck about it, wouldn't even question it - you do you, he's fine with that. Now he knows he can do that too if he feels like it. You could drag a dead body through his doorstep and he'd ask where you'd like to bury it or if you brought it back because you feel like committing cannibalism that night, while reminding you to not get his new shirt dirty or he'll beat your ass. He doesn't care, doesn't shy away from it. You can tell him to never touch you, and he'll do his best. You can make out with him just for fun, with no changes whatsoever to the dynamic you have. You could bite off a chunk of him or try to kill him just to see if you can. You could tell him your deepest secrets one night or never share a single detail about your past. Who cares. As long as this mutual trust is there, it's fine.

But the second you put a name or try to label this bond you two share? To try and categorize it into something that's neat and perfect and convenient for society to understand? That's where Pavia draws the line, the only way he could possibly feel betrayed.

Which loops back to Pavia being someone who can only be loved at a distance, because not many are willing nor ready to become part of a relationship that's impossible to explain. It's either all or nothing with him!