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ravens-two · 8 months

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PAC: Your Person's Thoughts About You 18+

This reading includes:

your person's dirty thoughts about you

The extended reading includes:

their reaction to these thoughts

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Also, this content is 18+ only!

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Pile 1

Judgment, Moon

"Devotion save me now/ I don't wanna stray from the hallowed ground/ I'll turn temptation down" Hurts - Devotion

The first thing I'm getting from this pile is that your person wants to see you naked. It's actually really interesting because this is supposed to be about their dirty thoughts (and well in a way it is), but this naked is almost like moving beyond your physical body. They want to see you for who you really are without any reservations on your part. This can be a bit of a kink for them too. It's almost like unravelling you during sex. They also want to have you completely at their mercy. For some of you this will be a bit more bdsm-y while for others not so much. In general, what I mean by this is that they want you to fully trust them and let them do the work. It's like putting your pleasure completely in their hands.

Going back to the naked thing though, it might be that you two haven't been intimate yet and they keep imagining what you'll look like when there aren't any clothes on you. Or it might be that you have been intimate and it's almost like the image of your naked body is seared in their brain. They couldn't forget it even if they wanted to and it's a thought that just keeps popping up for them randomly. I actually think that one of the reasons that they can't stop thinking about it is because of the energy that you gave off. This is hard to explain, but in the moment it was like there was something supernatural about you, the way you surrender completely to your seductive and animal side is/was very enchanting for your person.

This person is also dreaming about kissing you pile 1, especially your neck. I also get the vibe that they want to mark you, like leaving hickeys or bite marks. It seems that they're the type of person that likes to leave something to remember them by. I keep hearing that they just want to take you in their arms. Again, there's this vibe that they are the most dominant energy and want you to surrender to them (but this doesn't really feel like power-exchange honestly). They want to worship your body (this also fits the song that you got tbh).

They might also fantasize about having sex in a taboo place or out in nature (maybe both for some of you). They might want to have sex in a lake or a secluded place out in the woods. For some people they might want to do it in a graveyard (Mary Shelly would approve lol) or like another person's bedroom or in a place where you could get caught. I also think that they want to have sex all night long, going as long as you both can and then be completely exhausted.

For some you they also wish that you would let yourself be a little wilder. There's this vibe that they think that you are kinkier than you act (you might seem too in control or put together during the act for their liking) and they would love it if you showed this side of yourself. They also know that in part it's a question of trusting them enough, so that would really do it for them too - knowing that you trust them like that.

Pile 2

Star, Tower

"When I first saw you/ The end was soon/ To Bethlehem it slouched/ And then it must have caught a good look at you" Hozier - NFWMB

Hi pile 2, your person's dirty thoughts about you are quite interesting because I keep getting this idea that they will have a dirty thought, indulge in it for a moment, and then they'll feel bad about it. It's like they try to repress these thoughts because they think that they're somehow disrespectful to you. It might be that you aren't in a relationship with this person yet, and this is what cause these feelings, because you don't know that they see you like this.

A bit like pile 1, your person also thinks about seeing you naked. I feel like 90% of their 18+ thoughts are about your naked body. It might be them imagining what you would look like or just remembering your body. Unlike pile 1 there isn't this vibe of wanting you to surrender to them or seeing you undone, your person just wants to admire you in all your glory. They think that you're breathtaking and it honestly makes them a bit weak in their knees. It's actually more likely that your person wants to submit to you than the other way around. They also want to get on their knees and worship you, so this is probably oral sex. With the Tower here as well I'm seeing a lot of orgasms for both of you, explosive and maybe a bit mind-shattering. I'm hearing someone say that they've been "fucked dumb", so yeah, that could be one of their fantasies too. There's also something here about squirting and/or cum play as well. If your person has a penis they probably want to paint you with their cum, most likely your face, chest or back.

If you have breasts your person is also obsessed with them. They love the way they look (no matter the size) and really want to play with them. If you don't have breasts this could still be about your nipples. They're also pretty obsessed with your thighs and some of them want to get crushed between them. Again, there's this vibe that they want to please you so bad. It's not that they're really submissive, but they want to give you as much pleasure as humanly possible.

Your person also fantasizes about making love to you instead of fucking. They want the sex to be loving, safe and healing for the both of you. They also think about having shower/bath sex with you. Or they might get more dirty thoughts about you when they're in the shower. There's also something about cleanliness here, so it could be that your person enjoys/imagines cleaning you up after sex.

Pile 3

Nine of Wands, Two of Wands

"Love is our resistance/ They'll keep us apart, and they won't stop breaking us down/ Hold me/ Our lips must always be sealed" Muse - Resistance

Pile 3, your person seems to be quite kinky. The first thing I'm seeing here is bondage. They imagine tying you up and maybe even using blindfolds. This could be like full bondage or maybe just using handcuffs (it's going to change a bit from person to person), whatever it is your person wants to restrain you. I'm even seeing that for some of you your person kind of wants to tie you up just to look at you. There's a hint of voyeurism here, so they might want to take pictures or videos of you and enjoy the thought of "what if someone saw this". It might go even a little bit further and they imagine someone walking on you or you two doing it in a public place right in front of everyone. I think that is biggest motivation for them is that they are super proud of being by your side and want to show you off.

Another thing that they imagine is fingering you. They get a lot of enjoyment from your pleasure so they imagine getting you off with just their fingers. Actually I just got a very detailed visual of you mostly naked while they're still completely clothed and their fingers inside of you. When it comes to positions your person imagines you two having sex standing up or bending you over something.

Just like pile 1 your person wants to see you completely undone and unraveled. They imagine you after sex with your hair all messed up, marks all over your body, covered in fluids, and an hazy look in your eyes. Yeah, just very very messy. Your person doesn't seem to be too shy about their desires though. They also want to have multiple rounds with you. They want to have sex with you for as long as you physically can. Again they want to see you completely exhausted. I actually keep seeing more about fingering and oral sex rather than penetration, so your person tends to imagine more about this types of acts. It might be that they're actually a bit shy about doing these things in real life so they like to imagine it.

Your person also likes to imagine sexual scenarios with a lot of action and adventure. They have a very fertile imagination. They might imagine themselves as an hero who rescues you and then you two have sex. They might really enjoy role-playing. They also imagine sex that progresses your relationship. Besides the kinkier stuff, they might imagine making love to you and being truly intimate and vulnerable with you. Honestly, this person just wants to be with you and they enjoy making up scenarios with you.

Pile 4

Five of Cups, Ace of Wands

"You lose your way, just take my hand/ You're lost at sea, then I'll command your boat to me again/ Don't look too far, right where you are, that's where I am" Lana Del Rey - Mariners Apartment Complex

Pile 4, your pile seems like the most emotional, at least at first sight. One of your person's biggest fantasies is being comforted by you through sex. They like to imagine themselves (I'm not sure if it's randomly or when something bad happens) feeling down or going through a rough situation and coming to you to be comforted. They imagine you taking them in your arms, holding them, kissing them and slowly taking off their clothes. They imagine you on your knees giving them oral sex and then you two having slow, loving sex. There might even be tears here. Like they're feeling so emotional from what happened and from how loved they are by you that they just tear up or cry a bit. I think that the biggest fantasy here is feeling loved tbh. I also think that your song and the lyrics that I chose are really fitting for your person. They really want you to take their hand and steer the boat when they're feeling lost.

With the Ace of Wands here they're also really passionate and want the sex between you to feel hot and heavy, to truly envelop the two of you. They might also think about wax play or temperature play. There's something here about the differences in temperature between your body and other objects. They also want to kiss all over your body. They're very connected to their body sensations, especially about warmth. I don't really know how to explain it. They crave the feeling of your hot mouth on them (and other things too).

Something that's a bit kinkier and that might be a bit off-putting for some people, but they also imagine having period sex with you. The blood doesn't irk them, and they might even finding it a bit hot. I don't want to describe it too much, because the images in my head are quite graphic. But, yeah imagine them playing with the blood a little bit. In general, I think that they have a thing for body fluids, mainly semen and spit from what I'm getting. This is the other pile that might want to paint you with their cum (or the other way around). Also, they imagine you spitting in their mouth. I'm immediately getting that most of these kinkier fantasies about them are something that they see as unrealistic.

Again, this pile is quite emotional and they also like to imagine you two having a fight and being really upset with each other and then having sex. I think that this is such a recurring scenario in their head that they have a lot of variants. They imagine you having loving sex almost as an apology, then they imagine being hatefucked or hatefucking you. Or being denied by you. They have a lot of different scenarios when it comes to this, the only thing in common is you two fighting.

#tarot #pac reading #pick a card #tarot reading #pac #fs pick a pile #fs pac #18+ pac

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struwberrii · 2 months

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Hello, I like your haikyu headcanons and was wondering if you could do tendou headcanons?:)

tendou headcanons ₊˚⊹♡

thank u for the request!! i feel like tendou doesn’t get a lot of love nowadays so this one is for all the tendou fans (•̀ᴗ•́ )و

he def just makes up songs randomly and sings them for you (usually just to make you laugh)

his shoes usually aren’t tied and he never noticed until someone points it out

imagine tendou with a snaggletooth (i saw someone on tiktok say this and CANNOT STOP THINKING ABT IT it so cute)

constantly does impersonations of characters (he’s actually kind of decent)

little trinket collector

chronically picks at his lips and always ends up bleeding

also picks at his nails/fingers

always celebrates your small little wins with you (yaaayyyy!!)

always comes up with silly games to play when you guys are bored

randomly drops lore on you

makes scary faces at kids if they’re staring for too long

i feel like he’d lowkey listen to tommy heavenly6

hates calling during the day but will have a full convo with you through voice messages

does not let anyone pick on you AT ALL like he’ll get super protective and use his ‘scary’ looks to his advantage to freak people out

encourages you to step out of your comfort zone and try new things

some days social anxiety is scared of him, then the next day he’s too anxious to even go outside

constantly begging you to let him do your makeup even if you don’t wear it (he botched you)

but he still gets insecure sometimes and needs to hear praises and reassurance

let’s you style/cut his hair for him

probably had a random pet growing up, like he found a frog or turtle outside and kept it as a pet

draws on his arms and legs when he gets bored

always scares you, like he waits around the corner for you then jumps out and scares you

has a HUGE sweet tooth

i feel like he would have a really bad memory but keeps all important dates written down, don’t ask him what he ate for dinner because he doesn’t remember

sits in the shower

playful teasing as a love language

watches mukbang videos while he eats

genuinely has a hard time voicing how he feels about people so he uses humor to mask his emotions and now nobody takes him seriously

shockingly the best guy to go to when you need to cheer up, and not because he’d make you laugh but he just knows what to say?? if that makes sense

like he tells you what he wishes someone told him when he was in middle school

always makes sure nobody is left out in a group activity

has the craziest diet, like i feel like he’d eat like a toddler

average tendou meal consists of a yoohoo chocolate milk, a pizza lunchable and a handful of grapes and that’s enough to hold him over for the day

sports garfield pajama pants ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

i feel like he’d also listen to alice in chains

but i also feel like he’d listen to gorillaz

his knees are always bruised (prob from volleyball)

has an impressive figure collection of his favorite manga character :3

sorry guys this is like 30% me projecting 70% tendou hcs 😭

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val-cansalute · 3 months

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𝙱𝙴𝚈𝙾𝙽𝙳 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝟶𝟸

summary: two years later, ellie’s back in jackson. from what you’ve heard, she’s not exactly been doing great either.

warnings: angst with no comfort yet (ITS COMING I PROMISE), you’re in another relationship (ellie gets kind of jealous…), vague ref. to drug abuse and addiction

an: sorry this took like five years, as always, love you guys, stay safe, never stop talking about palestine. do your clicks. :-)

chapter 1

TWO YEARS LATER

There should probably, definitely be a lot of things on Ellie’s mind right now but, truthfully, the exhaustion flooded them all out.

She’s been sitting next to Tommy in his shitty, busted, old truck in the densest silence she’s ever been in, hurtling her way back to the place she was damn sure she was never going to see again just a few months back, and all she can think about is how badly she wants to close her eyes and finally fucking sleep, but he keeps throwing out questions randomly, and Ellie feels obligated to answer them all given the fact that he just picked her scrawny ass up from rehab following almost a year of no contact.

She takes in a sharp breath of air. It doesn’t rattle her lungs as much as it used to. Then, she swallows, forcing a gulp down the dry enclosure of her throat, and turns to look at Tommy.

“Hm?”

“Am I taking you to ours or yours?”

“What?”

“Jesus- Am I driving you down to Maria and I’s, or are you gonna go back to your old house?”

Ellie’s brain stutters.

The impending situation is suddenly becoming too real.

You were starring in the film in her mind ever since the one-way flight to LA, and every time you came up on screen, she felt her stomach wrench with longing, with guilt.

She was far from home, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people who’s faces were unfamiliar and, quite frankly, scary. She had no idea how the fuck she ended up where she did, but she knew that the thoughts she needed a distraction from required remedies more concentrated than whiskey.

The last few months were especially shit: stuck in that building with junkies who would be back in just as long as they stayed, with nothing to do but sit with every last one of those thoughts.

Joel’s death had beaten her to a pulp; she was only just beginning to be able to talk about him, to draw him, to remember him, without all the anger and all the all-consuming guilt. Only just beginning to do that after the absolute shit-show her life became for a long moment. Yes, Joel’s death beat the hell out of her, but she herself delivered the finishing blow.

There is a lot of guilt in Ellie’s life, towards Joel, towards Tommy, towards her friends, towards you – more than she can bear for this lifetime and maybe the next few too. So, like she promised herself, there’s no use in any of it. All she can do is just focus on each day and try to make things right where she can.

The question plagues her mind, the one she has absolutely no right to ask, of whether or not you’ll be there, whether or not you waited for her. She doesn’t know which would be worse.

“Mine.”

Tommy nods, glancing at her before shifting his line of view back to the road and Ellie lets out a small puff of air. She hopes things can go back to how they used to be between the two of them one day. Joel’s death also beat the hell out of Tommy. In fact, Ellie was slightly surprised to hear that Tommy’s place was “Maria and I’s” again, since they weren’t exactly on good terms when she left, divorced and all.

“Do… Do you know if… she’s still staying there?”

He goes quiet, dropping the coy exchange of practised words and turns to look at Ellie for longer than what’s considered road safe.

“… Honestly, I’m not sure. Haven’t seen her in a while. But, come to think of it, I must’ve heard someone mentionin’ some’ about her stayin’ with someone for a while... You, uh, you sure you’re gonna be okay goin’ back to yours?”

“Yeah… I mean… It’s gotta happen eventually.”

Tommy nods, breathing out,

“That it does,"

And Ellie reclines into the hardened cushion of the seat, pressing her cheek to it to rest, gazing out at the familiar sequence of buildings blurring by. She thinks she should probably drop by Dina’s tomorrow.

Ellie’s become mythical.

“I just got a text from Jesse…”

You look up from your screen at Dina, who is sprawled out across from you on the couch. She sits up, all serious, and the look in her eyes tells you she knows you’re not going to like what you’re about to hear.

“He said Ellie’s coming back to Jackson.”

Sometimes you have these… dreams, if you can even call them that; nothing about them is hazy or dream-like, just… like your mind opens up a part of itself that you keep closed when you’re in control and forces you to look at it.

You’re lucid every time, of course, even your subconscious knows that it’s impossible for Ellie to be near you, to be smiling at you the way she used to.

No. She walked out and didn’t look back. And, in all honesty, you can't even blame her for that. Not when she was falling apart back here just the same. Not when she wasn't even herself anymore, when the thoughts got a hold of her.

When you open your eyes, you can’t bring yourself to look at your girlfriend laying next to you. She feels like a stranger who sleeps in your apartment sometimes.

Your mind strays, and you wonder if that’s how Ellie felt about you. Then, you close your eyes again and try to soothe the nausea that inevitably builds in your stomach - flex your fingers to remind yourself that you're a living, breathing person, who can’t just rot in sheets, clinging to morsels of sleep.

When Ellie left, there was a massive gaping hole in, not just your heart, but your entire life. You tried to stay put in the house but, God, it was painful. The dusty trinkets she left behind lining the desk alone were like totems of your one-man cult devoted to her.

You packed all your shit soon after, leaving Ellie’s exactly as it was.

At first, crashing at Dina’s place was a temporary fix, but it turned out you desperately needed the company and Dina loved having someone around to bother too. Things got better slowly, or at least they stopped hurting as much.

So, every day, you stumble out of bed and get ready for the shitty little job you got to make yourself feel human again, kissing the girl you’ve been fucking around with for way too long, and then waving goodbye to Dina as you go.

You’re rebuilt, no longer in pieces like you were when she left. In fact, your mind doesn’t look back on her much anymore, but there are traces of what she did to you in everything you do.

The way you put yourself back together, it’s a bit twisted up, not quite the same.

Dina’s eyes never leave yours, gaze firm in its preemptive empathy, though there’s not much use. Your mind must have malfunctioned; there’s not a single emotion playing out in it right now but there absolutely, definitely should be. You’re just not sure which.

After a tense moment passes, you hum in feigned pensiveness.

She was playing bigger venues is what you heard – sold out shows, collaborating with artists she used to dream of meeting, getting into scandals and posting snapshots of her new, flashier life, or at least her manager was.

You knew Ellie, and you were well aware that she felt like a phony doing shit like that.

But, then again, you thought you knew she wouldn’t leave you for LA too.

A while back, it was radio silence. Her posts stopped, the new releases ceased abruptly, and it was as if she had vanished, dropped off the face of the planet.

Rehab is what the shitty gossip threads were saying. The things you began being told every now and then were hard to hear: she was foaming at the mouth, being seen in a random state thousands of miles away with little recollection of how she got there, drunk off her ass again at an awards show. Shards of glass, cutting through the fragile peace you'd built.

At the time, it still impacted you, of course. She was once your girl. But you were forced to look it in the eye: the fact that she was in the worst shape you’d seen her in when you came across images of her online, with sunken cheeks; yellowed, bloodshot eyes looking emptier than ever, and dry, chapped lips. Fuck, it made your stomach writhe with pain. She was still suffering, only scraps left of who she used to be.

Not that you expected anything other than deterioration.

Dina inhales sharply, nodding as she struggles through the wording of the question she’s about to pose,

“…How are you feeling?”

It doesn’t matter though. None of that matters, because you’ve moved forward. You live in a different neighborhood, with different hopes, a different job, and a different girlfriend.

“…I’m not exactly gonna welcome her with open arms, if that’s what you’re expecting. But, you know what? I’m okay.”

Different.

She nods again.

“I mean, it’s been a long time, D. I’ve moved on.”

Dina smiles at you reassuringly, and it pisses you off because why is she reassuring you? You said you’re fine, didn’t you? What reason is there to be all empathetic?

“Yeah, of course, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I mean, it’s completely normal to feel… upset, I guess, even if you’ve moved on. She was still super important to you for some time in your life, even if things didn’t exactly end well.”

“Yeah… Well, I don’t really wanna see her, but I hope she’s doing better.”

She doesn’t know what she expected, but she couldn’t stay in that house.

The first step in was cautious, casting hesitant glances into the darkness in the hope that she’d catch a glimpse of something that would tell her you’re home, before she took notice of the hollowness.

Everything was spotless and your things were gone.

The display case with your tea set was empty, the little trinkets on your bedside table were nowhere to be found, your side of the closet was barren, and every trace of the life you shared had disappeared. The house seemed to be cocooned in a layer of dust, preserving only the imprint of Ellie.

You’d left the duvet and a pillow tapped up for her on the bed you shared if she ever did come home, but that bed is too big for her alone now.

Ellie turned around and walked out, leaving it all behind again. She wasn’t sure where to go, though she was positive she needed to be alone, away from all the people she’d hurt. Away from all the damage she’d done.

So, she walks till her muscles ache out to a motel on the other side of town, praying the dark keeps her face hidden enough from anyone who might recognize her and makes a nest in the stained sheets and matted carpet floor, because she much prefers this discomfort to the one in that house. Alone with her thoughts and the mechanical whir of the AC, she doesn’t want to cry; she doesn’t have the right to, but when a tear escapes, the dam breaks. At least it helps her sleep better.

The night passes like a flash and daylight filters through the grimy motel windows, past Ellie’s tired eyelids. She stirs awake, rubbing a hand down her face groggily, and lays in the haze for a while.

She’s supposed to see Dina today. The only friend she really ever kept in contact with while on her long ass bender and throughout her stay at the facility was Jesse, because she couldn’t bring herself to face Dina, not when she was in that state.

She has absolutely no idea what will happen, and it’s terrifying. But she can’t deny that she feels a deep-seated anxiety that can only be satiated by asking Dina about you, though the questions themselves haven’t exactly been decided on yet. She thinks she’ll quickly tire of having no idea what will happen but she doesn’t have much of a choice, so she slinks out of bed and trudges over to the sink to freshen up before setting off.

After confusing the fuck out of a half-deaf old man at Dina’s old apartment and a text exchange with one of their mutual acquaintances, Ellie finally shows up at what she really hopes is the right door and delivers a series of three shy knocks.

When the door is opened, she is immediately overtaken by a wave of warmth and the scent of freshly made pancakes. She still has a hard time getting food down but, honestly, she’d start drifting through the air towards it if she were in a cartoon.

Then, she looks up and, for a moment, her face falls at the sight of another unfamiliar face, but her eyes catch a glimpse of someone else across the apartment and Ellie’s heart stills.

You stare down at the text Nathan just sent you with guilt-ridden relief. A family emergency means the café isn’t going to open today, so you don’t have to go to work.

Feeling happy that Nathan has a family emergency makes you feel a little ashamed too, because Nathan’s a standup guy, but you didn’t get nearly enough sleep last night, and getting up to go to work with the tiresome deadweight of your eyebags is the last thing you need right now.

In truth, all that has been on your mind since that godforsaken exchange with Dina on the couch yesterday is Ellie, and the night following was a restless one. You laid in bed, staring at the ceiling with a permanent furrow in your brow that was making your face ache, unable to quiet the torrent of memories and emotions in your mind, feeling like you were back in that house again, trying to sleep the night after she walked out.

You tossed and turned, grasping pathetically for comfort, but every position felt like suffocation. In your dark and still room, you felt like you were going to rupture with the pressure of the whirlwind inside you against the confines of your skull.

Each second dragged out longer than the last. Each second, you remembered what it felt like to be with her and then to watch her fade, and it was all so vivid, so inescapable. You’re not even sure if you can call it longing, because what settles in your stomach feels a lot more like anguish, distress, a desperate hope for her to be in a better place. You so badly want to believe you’ve moved on from her, but the truth is so glaringly obvious that you can’t even turn away from it, so you just close your eyes.

You don’t want to think about her today. You’ll do anything to not think about her today.

You guess it’s a good thing Dina set off early because even the sight of her would’ve reminded you of Ellie.

Instead, when you glance to your left at the rustle of bed sheets beside you and see Alexis rubbing the sleep from her puffy eyes, you smile softly and try to feel some semblance of warmth at the fact that you can just laze around with her for now.

Alexis smiles back, groggily stretching the arm tossed over your waist and running it gently along your side.

There is a sinking in the pit of your stomach, though, at the realization that things are getting very domestic for something that was supposed to be ‘casual.’ You know now more than ever that you cannot handle that.

When she leans in and works her lips on the crook of your neck, mumbling,

“Mornin’, sweetheart,” you take it as your queue to sit up, shifting away from her.

“Good morning, babe. I got the day off, so I think I’m gonna start on breakfast. You want anything?”

Normally, she’s the one who makes breakfast, but you try not to acknowledge that the guilt of your impending split pushes you to take the reins this time.

Alexis crosses her arms behind her head, watching intently as you tug on some pants and states,

“You know, I’m kinda in the mood for pancakes.”

While she clears up the scattering of wrappers discarded along the couch from the evening before, you set up at the stove, and for the first time in a long moment, the feeling is golden, laced with the gentle timbre of Sade’s voice spilling from your phone as you put on your playlist and keep an ear out for the hiss of the coffee machine.

Your love is king, crown you in my heart.

The wall buzzes from the beat of a knock at the front door, but Alexis is already up on her feet, clarifying that she’ll ‘get it.'

Your love is king, never need to part,

You lift your head to offer a greeting from behind the kitchen island to the visitor and the air is choked out of your windpipes instantly. Around you, the noise and color fades to grey so all you can hear is the echo of your own heartbeat and a shrill ringing pounding in your ears, the blood rush making it feel like your whole body is palpitating.

Your kisses ring round and round and round my head,

Across the room, the air between you becomes charged and strained with the weight of the years that part you, the memories that became dust, crumbling beneath the pressure of careful fingertips.

Touching the very part of me, it’s making my soul sing,

You’re suspended in the memorial waves like cicadas in amber, before Alexis breaks the spell, glancing between the two of you perplexedly,

“Uh... Hey?”

Tearing the very heart of me, I’m crying out for more.

You reach out and pause the song, your eyes meeting the text Dina sent just a few minutes prior.

𝚒 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢

𝚓𝚞𝚕𝚒𝚊 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚝

𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗

You take in a sharp breath of air, inflating your figure before you look back up at the wide-eyed girl standing in the doorway, whispering a weary,

“Ellie…”

Ellie doesn’t quite catch it, pushing out a softer than intended explanation in the face of people looking at her like she is an alien.

"I... I came to see Dina."

You nod, slowly, unsurely, fingers curling around the edge of the countertop. When you’ve finally mustered up the strength to speak, you respond,

"She’s gonna be out for a while. You can wait inside."

You’re surprised by the harshness in your tone.

Ellie presumably is too, lingering in the doorway for a moment, and the tension in the room is palpable, so Alexis, makes up an out.

"I gotta go… grab… something,”

The auburn-haired girl’s gaze follows her as she leaves, before she quietly moves into the room, clicking the door shut behind her with a tightened jaw. She thinks that maybe if she stands still enough, it’ll be like she’s not even there, like she doesn’t even exist, but when you bring Alexis’ mug of coffee to the table by the couch for her to drink, you pull the chair out wordlessly, eyes held fast to anything but Ellie’s, before going back the stove to turn it off.

"Who's she?" Ellie wants to ask. She’s not an idiot, so she doesn’t.

Instead, she sits down quietly, watching you with weary eyes.

Ellie doesn’t look so gaunt anymore. At a certain point, she couldn’t even recognise herself when she looked in the mirror. She’s still too skinny, hair dishevelled, eyes red, and her face is littered with small scars and the remnants of a black eye, but you can look at her without wanting to break down now, or at least not for the same reasons.

You say a silent thank you to whoever’s out there looking out for her and then turn around to face her.

“I… I’m sorry, I should’ve… I didn’t mean to… I didn’t kno-”

“It’s fine, Ellie.”

A beat passes before she looks up at you, eyes wide,

“How… How have you been?”

You try to take in air without it catching as you respond, keeping your eyes on the counter.

“I’m okay.”

“Good… That’s good.” Ellie picks at a loose thread on the hem of her sleeve, chewing at her bottom lip, “I’m sorry.”

It comes out a whisper, breathless, and you close your eyes before saying,

“You know what, Ellie? It was hard at first. Really hard. I got really lonely, and I missed you a lot. I tried to make it work in that place and it just didn’t. But its been 2 whole years. I’m… I’m not the same...”

“I really am sorry. I fucked up- I should never have gone to LA. I never should’ve-”

She takes a moment to breathe, squeezing her eyes shut as she tries to work through the explosion of thoughts, wishing she’d just kept her mouth shut, wishing she’d had more time to think of what to say, wishing she’d just stayed in that fucking motel room.

“I should’ve tried harder to get better… I-I know that… it might not be possible, but I checked myself into rehab, and… and I want to try to make things right… I just- I don’t want to live like that anymore, I don’t wanna be alone anymore-”

You let her speak, the lump in your throat growing painfully as you watch her fumble sadly through her words.

“I know we can’t go back to how things used to be- I just… want to make things right and I don’t know how or what that means but-”

Alexis walks back into the room, making her way over to Ellie with a tight-lipped smile before she can finish what she wants to say.

“Sorry, had to go do that thing. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Alexis, she must’ve told you already but I’m her girlfriend.”

Ellie looks up at her with wide eyes,

“Oh.”

She holds her hand out to shake and Ellie takes it before reclining into her seat silently, staring at the wooden table in front of her.

Suddenly, it has become very apparent to Ellie that she lost her place in your life a long time ago, as a friend and as a partner, and she feels like an alien again.

She clenches her jaw.

“It’s… Uhhh, it’s nice to meet you too but I should get going. Dina won’t be back for a while so there’s… no point in sticking around.”

You think of stopping her, of telling her to sit back down, but you know this is for the best as you watch her scramble to her feet, looking like a kicked puppy, and walking back out the door.

Things will never be the same. You can’t go back to how things were, and your head knows you shouldn’t trust Ellie’s words.

But, when she sat in front of you at that table, telling you she didn’t want to be alone anymore, you thought you saw something you haven’t seen in a long time, a sliver of your Ellie. Of her old self, of her resilience, of her will, of her love and hopes.

And you so badly want to believe you’re over her, but the truth is looking you right in the eye, and some supermassive weight has lifted off your shoulders.

“Dude, was that literally Ellie fucking Williams?!”

326 notes · View notes

trippinsorrows · 4 months

Text

with me + part twelve

authors note: you guys are seriously the nicest and most supportive. the comments always make me stupidly smile and laugh cause not a single one of ya'll is gonna let bdj die off. 😭 also, i know a couple of people have commented and asked about the backstory with joe and jadah, and i promise it'll be explored deeper. there's a subplot i'm working towards unveiling here, and it's nearing the reveal part, but we're not there yet! i promise, though, it's gonna be touched on!!!

i also had to chop this chapter in half, because it's honestly so much stuff, so the next update shouldn't take as long cause it's almost done.

the next two are gonna be so fun. maybe some shit will go down too. we shall see.

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, some angst, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

words: 8k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

“So let me get this straight, in the time that I’ve been gone, you and Joe told Callie he’s her dad, you found out Amir and Mariah been fucking behind your back, and you had a semi mental breakdown after running into your father and, plot twist, long lost sister.” She counts each off with a finger, then asking. “Did I miss anything?”

Nodding, you take a scoop of your ice cream before adding, “Joe told me he loves me.”

In true Alexis fashion, she randomly arrived in town the night before, completely unaware of all that transpired in her absence. So, you take this time while Callie sleeps to catch her up.

“Did I miss anything that I didn’t already know?” You give her a look, and she rolls her eyes, also eating some of her Rocky Road. “Come on, Y/N. Ray Charles could see that man is in love with you. You’re the one being stupid by not reciprocating.” Before you can push back against her, even if she isn’t entirely wrong, she switches topics. “Now when are we gonna go beat Lieriah’s ass? I told you it was something about that girl. She’s a snake.”

Typically the one to defend your friends, it’s hard to find it in you to come to Mariah’s aid. Nevermind the fact that she knows the shitty things Amir has done to you over the years, it’s the fact that she’s supposed to be your best friend but is messing around with same ain't shit ex? You would never do something like that to her, but maybe your loyalty to her has always been stronger than hers to you.

“I’m not worried about him or her. They’re not worth it.” That’s partially true, but the sting of betrayal is slow to pass and even slower to heal. You’ve always had mid to low expectations for Amir, but Mariah? That’s a crushing blow. “I have more important things to figure out.”

She studies you, leaning back against the headboard. “Your sister.”

“Bianca,” you correct. It’s too uncomfortable referring to her as such, even if that’s exactly what she is.

In the weeks since the big fireworks show—both metaphorically and figuratively—you’ve tried to slowly return to your sense of normalcy. Focusing on Callie—who is an entirely different issue in and of itself that you really need to talk to your mom about—being more on top of things at work, and navigating your relationship with Joe.

He hasn’t been back to visit since Christmas, but you figured as such. Wrestlemania season has arrived, and you know better than anyone how crazy that time is, especially with him main eventing.

But the one thing you haven’t really allowed yourself to think too much about is Bianca. You’d sent her a vague apology text a few days after your mad dash and explained that you were dealing with some things and just needed time to sort through them. That you’d reach back out when you were ready.

That still hasn’t happened, and it’s entirely intentional.

“I remember you mentioned that you always wanted siblings?”

“Yeah, cause we have so much to bond over,” you mutter, bitterly.

“Well, you actually do have a lot in common. She’s a teacher, like you. She has a daughter, like you—”

“You know what we don’t have in common?” You interrupt, feeling the agitation growing again. It’s not directed toward Alexis, just the situation in general. “A father who loves us.”

You were done referring to that man as your father. A father shows up. Like Joe. That son of a bitch isn’t even in the same universe as Joe.

Her expression softens. You didn’t tell her everything, just enough for her to get the gist that he’s a piece of shit. And you definitely did not tell her about the time you went to see him. You’ve never told anyone that story. Joe is now the only one who knows, and you’d like to keep it that way. It’s just….it’s just too painful. “I had no idea that was the situation there…..I’m really sorry, girl.”

“It is what it is. I don’t need him.” And you’re not too sure if you need Bianca either. “I’m just trying to figure out if I should power through this for Callie’s sake. You should have seen how she and Taylor clicked. I would hate to take that away from her.”

“I get that,” she acknowledges. “You have to make the decision that’s best for the long run, not necessarily how you’re feeling right now.” That’s very easy to say and nearly impossible to do. “Even if you just allow the girls to interact while you keep some distance with Bianca.”

You’re partially intrigued, spooning some more cookie dough. “How would that work?”

“They don’t live here, right?” You nod. “Maybe the girls can talk on Facetime or even play some game on their tablets. That won’t cause you to interact much with mom outside of coordinating virtual playdates, and Callie still gets to spend time with her cousin, or, not cousin."

You sit on her words, not expecting to be as open to the idea as you are. It’s a pretty genius compromise. “You really do give some great advice sometimes, you know that?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she smiles mischievously, and you just shake your head. “Now, who’s gonna knock this bitch Mariah over the head with a steel chair? Me or you? Or should we hit her with a bus, Regina George style?”

“Alexis!”

________

You clearly don’t love yourself because you decided to do both yours and Callie’s washday on the same damn day. A Sunday, at that. Meaning, you have no choice but to get it done because you have work the next day.

And Alexis being in town would be even more of a benefit than it already is if she actually knew how to do hair. Natural hair. She can lay any wig down better than Tae, but caring for coils and curls is another story. It’s why you declined her offer, and she lays knocked out in your bed, while Callie is fast asleep in hers.

Thankfully, you have an insanely generous and sweet man who’s offered to talk to you while you power through this debacle, noodle arms, sleep deprivation, and all.

“Oh, before I forget again.” You grab the bottle of leave-in to apply more to the next section of hair. Shingling may give you the most definition, but it also gives you the most discomfort. “Can you be here May 8th?” A smile falls on your face. “Our baby is graduating preschool, and I know she’d want you there. I do too.”

“Shit, they have preschool graduations?” He seems genuinely taken back before answering. “But, of course I’ll be there.”

“I know. I used to think they were stupid, but now it’s my kid, so it’s the best thing ever. Her cap and gown should come some time in March, so I’m gonna have one of my old teammates who’s a photographer take professional photos of her.” It’s literally just preschool, but that’s still something she’s accomplished, and you want to commend the occasion the best you can. It’s been years since you’ve had professional photos of her taken anyway. Not since she was first born. “And yes, I’ll get extra for you.”

“How much—”

“Anyways, let me show you the tattoo.” Joe has already done so much, the least you can do is cover the photo costs. Even though you know him well enough to know he’ll find some way to contribute. Thankfully, the side of your hair that still needs to be shingled is clipped at the top of your head, so all you have to do is turn around and push down the thin strap of your shirt to reveal your latest ink. “He did an amazing job.”

“Shit, he did.” Joe’s agreement and approval somehow makes you even more satisfied with the outcome. Your Christmas gift to yourself was finally getting that Moana tattoo Callie has wanted to see on you since you told her you were getting one damn near a year ago. It’s on the back of your left shoulder, a black manta ray, some blue ocean-like coloring with one of your favorite lyrics from the movie: I will carry you here in my heart. You remind me, that come what may, I know the way.

It’s one of Callie’s favorite songs but also feels like an ode to your grandma as well.

He then asks, “do you want more?”

Readjusting your shirt and turning back around, you answer, “of course. More Disney but also….” This discussion triggers something for you, something that seems a little out there, but also maybe not. “I saw this tattoo on Pinterest that I want to get for Callie.” You grab your phone. “Let me send it to you.” It’s saved in your favorites folder and thus an easy send. Placing the phone back on the counter, you wait for him to receive and see it.

“I like it.” It’s a baby’s footprint with the name written in cursive and date of birth in print right underneath it. You’ve always wanted Callie’s name on you but couldn’t settle on a design until you came across that one. Something about it just resonates with you.

Licking your lips, you suggest, “why don’t you get it with me?” Couples getting matching tattoos isn’t something you’re entirely against, you just don’t agree with it for people who are only dating and not married, if marriage is the goal. You remember when Amir once suggested you do so, and you literally laughed in his face. You’d soon rather get branded with a tramp stamp than have that man’s name permanently burned into your skin.

But, matching tattoos for the child you created together with the man you love. That is something you could get behind.

And apparently so can he.

“Let’s do it.”

“Really?” You’re not sure why, but the ease of his agreement shocks you. It’s not too far-fetched when you think about it. He loves his daughter, and you’ve always known Joe to only get tattoos that have meaning. He could give you a detailed explanation for every piece of ink on his body.

“Yeah.” There’s almost a sense of excitement in his voice, like he’s eager to have her name on him, to share this with you. “Same location?” At that, you make a face. He laughs. “Inner bicep does hurt, I’m not even gon’ lie to you.”

Yeah, you’ve definitely heard as such, and considering his entire right side is tatted, he’d know. “I don’t know. I have to think about it. I might need to squeeze your hand the whole time, or I’ll end up punching the tattooist.”

He laughs, “you can squeeze my hand.” Joe then asks, “when do you want to get em’ done?” You start to think about it logistically, as well as financially. Tattoos aren’t cheap. “Do you want to go to the Super Bowl?”

His question surprises you because it’s such a change in topics but also….what? “Yup. And Hawaii and Puerto Rico. And then maybe if we have time, stop by Alice in Wonderland.”

He’s too good at matching your sass, retorting, “I can make the first two happen easily. The last one may be a stretch.” Rolling your eyes, you grab for the gel. “I’m serious though. My tattoo artist is based out of Vegas. The game is in Vegas this year. It’ll let me see Callie too, cause I’m having a hard time finding a gap to visit.” As he continues to speak without laughing or chuckling, you realize he’s dead serious. “I’ve been meaning to ask you to go anyway but kept forgetting.”

You need extra clarification. “Like this year's Usher concert where there’s apparently a game too?”

He rolls his eyes, providing the guest list. “It’s me and the twins, their family, some other fam…..we have a whole section, cause you know it's a bunch of us.” It’s still hard to sit on the fact that this man really just invited you to the fucking Super Bowl like it’s dinner at Golden Coral. His eyes soften. “I wanna see her. I wanna see you.”

Joe’s closing statement, so true and vulnerable, is what breaks you from your temporary state of shock. You get the sense he misses ya’ll just as much as you miss him. “Of course, we’ll go. I’m sorry, I just—I wasn’t expecting that.” And it’s true, you weren’t. “How will we get fl—”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of everything. I just need you to show up at the airport.”

That seems to be such a recurring theme with this man. He does everything he can to make things as easy for you as possible. It’s tremendously appreciated and doesn’t go without notice.

“This is the first time she’ll be meeting the twins,” you realize aloud. Hell, his family at all.

Joe nods, chuckling. “Yeah, they’ve been on my ass about that anyway. They want to meet her.”

Pinning down the section you just finished, you take down the next. A little over halfway done now. “Whoever you want her to meet is fine with me, Joe. I don’t even really have a say in that. She has every right to meet your family just as much as she’s had to meet mine.”

And it’s true. Unless it could present some harm to Callie, you don’t really feel like you have the right to object to things like that. You have zero desire to interfere with Joe and Callie anymore than you already have.

“I know. I just wanted to tell her the truth before introducing her to anyone else. Less lies.” Makes sense. Thinking about Callie meeting more family brings a small smile to your face. It’s what she deserves. Family members who actually want to be in her life.

The conversation brings something else to the forefront of your mind, partially due to Joe’s confession to you on Christmas but also a question you’ve wanted to ask him for much longer than you’d like to admit.

“So….” This shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it is. “There’s something I want to ask you, but I don’t…..I don’t want to overstep.” If he were to tell you that he’d rather you not, that’d be fine with you, one less stressful thing on your plate. But, of course, he’s silent, meaning he’s not going to object. So….you decide to bite the bullet and go for it. “What happened between you and your wife?”

You’re certain he wasn’t expecting that to be what you asked, but to your surprise, he answers. “We were young and got married for the wrong reason. I was 22. She was 21.”

Unsure but taking a big risk regardless, you ask in a small voice. “What was the reason?”

His answer isn’t what you’re expecting either. “She was pregnant.”

It takes a second for you to process what he’s saying. Your stomach is suddenly in knots, chest feeling tight. There’s no way he’s kept something like that from you. No way in hell. “Wait, does Callie have—”

“No.”

And just like that, you know. He doesn’t need to explain. It’s painfully obvious, especially as he looks away from the camera. You have a feeling you've unlocked a painful memory he’d most likely kept tucked away.

“I’m sorry.” It feels so stupid and unhelpful to say. What does that do for him? It doesn’t take away that experience, that loss that you can’t even begin to imagine. But, it’s all you can offer. “Just—forget I asked, let’s change the subject.” Do you have more questions? Of course. Like, why was there such a gap between their loss and the divorce? But, this is understandably a difficult and sensitive subject, and the last thing you want to do is trigger him more than you already have.

You know better than anyone how awful that can be.

He agrees with the subject change, going along with the transition of topics, clearly grateful for your understanding. But, in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think about the fact that this man lost his firs child before he could even meet the them, and the child he had who did survive was kept a secret from him for nearly five years.

There’s a sudden sickness and disgust you feel. And it’s not towards anyone but yourself.

Joe had every goddamn right to be furious with you about your subterfuge.

He still does. ________

“Mama, something is up with Callie.”

You’re thankful Alexis agreed to keep Callie preoccupied in the living room while you have this conversation with your mom, because Callie had another incident just this morning, slamming her door when you told her she needed to pick up her toys.

She’s never done that.

But she has done other things in the past two weeks or so, rolling her eyes or pouting her mouth at you when you say something she doesn’t want to hear, beyond typical tantrums.

Your mom stops her stirring at the pot to turn around and look at you. “What do you mean? Is she sick?”

“No,” you answer and then realize you’re not entirely sure how to explain it. She’s not being bad, per se. Just….difficult. “She’s just been…..off.”

Genuinely intrigued, and partially concerned, you watch your mom turn the fire on low as she joins you at the kitchen table. “Tell me.”

Shaking your head, you explain. “I thought it was just me, that I was just being overprotective and hyper-vigilant, but when I picked her up from preschool yesterday, her teacher pulled me to the side and asked me if she’s been having sleep problems. I told her no and asked why, and she told me Callie has been irritable. With staff and other kids.”

“Callie?” Your mom seems just as taken back as you were hearing these words. “That doesn’t even sound like her.”

“I know, and that’s what I said at first, but then I thought about it, and she’s been crabby with me too. It’s not horrible, but it’s unlike her.”

A small part of you wonders if it has something to do with you running off on her on Christmas. It would make sense. She was doing absolutely fine before then, but it’s the timing that throws that theory off. You’ve noticed this change only in the past two weeks, well after Christmas day passed, so why the delay?

“What does Joe think it is?”

“I haven’t told him.” It’s not that you don’t want to. You’d just like to have a better grasp of what it is before doing so. Have more actual information to provide him.

“He hasn’t seen the behavior for himself?”

You shake your head. “She’s fine with him. Matter of fact, after his calls, she’s like a completely different child.” It’s watching your mom’s face settle into a look of realization that makes you ask, “what? What is it?”

“Honey” she starts with a soft chuckle. “She’s missing her daddy.”

Her answer catches you by surprise, painting your face with confusion. You’ve had a lot of theories, but that definitely wasn’t one of them. “What?”

Reaching across the table, she places her hand over yours. “Think about it. How would she react if you were gone as much as he is? She’d be a mess, cause you’re her mama, and she has a strong attachment to you. Look how easily she attached and connected with Joe. It’s always been there. Except she knows the truth now, so her attachment is even stronger.” You heed to her explanation, wise and sensible. You hadn’t even thought of it that way. “And isn’t this the longest he’s been gone without her seeing him? She’s acting out because she misses him and probably doesn’t know how to verbalize it, so it shows in her behavior.”

As relieved as you are to have an explanation that makes sense, it’s an explanation that makes you incredibly sad for your sweet child. You know how hard it is for Joe to get away right now, you understand it. It never crossed you that she wouldn’t.

Devastated, you ask, “what do I do?”

“Talk to her. Try to help her understand. It may not make a huge difference, but it’s something.”

You nod, so so grateful for her, for all that she does for you, for Callie. For all that she’s done. Reaching across the table, you hug her tightly. “thank you, mama.” As much as it devastated you to not have that man in your life, your mom made sure to go above and beyond to make sure you knew you were loved. She played both roles beautifully, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to make her understand what that meant to you.

You still haven’t really sat her down and explained everything that happened Christmas night, nor has she asked, but you know it’s because she’s trying to respect your space. It’s appreciated, but you also know you’re gonna have to eventually tell her.

Just not now.

Right now, you’ve gotta take care of your baby.

________

Even the energy in Callie’s playroom feels off.

You’re so used to walking in and finding her with that million dollar smile that makes your entire day better. Instead, you walk in and she doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. She just continues to color.

“Hey, baby….” Disappointed, but refusing to show as such, you welcome yourself in and approach her table. “Is it okay if I color with you?”

She still doesn’t say anything, just nods, and you do your best not to hide your sadness. You hate seeing her this down, it’s so unfamiliar, and you’ll do just about anything to fix it.

Sitting down in the uncomfortable seat, you take a couple of her pages and pull out a crayon. “I have an idea.” At that, she looks up, slightly intrigued. “Why don’t we draw how we’ve been feeling lately? I draw me, and you draw you.”

You scold yourself for not selling it to her better, for not telling her it’s something you sometimes do with your students. Some level of innocent peer pressure. However, she surprises you by agreeing with a simple “okay.”

It takes a second for you to register that it was really that simple. Step one is done. Now for step two.

Grabbing some crayons, you don’t really concern yourself with skin tone, just getting something out on paper. The two of you color in silence, and you start to offer to put on her favorite playlist but decide against it.

You want her to really think about what you’re asking.

It’s when you see that she’s placed down her crayon and is just staring at her picture that you ask, “you done?” She shakes her head, but her eyes are on the table in front of her. “Is it okay if mommy sees it? I’ll show you mine too.”

Handing you the page, you expect an influx of emotions, but actually seeing her literal representation of how she feels is simply heartbreaking.

She’s drawn herself, frowning, surrounded by broken hearts and a blue tear leaking from her eye. Callie did what you asked. You just wish it didn’t have you feeling so helpless.

“This means you’ve been feeling sad, huh?” You hate how your voice gives away your emotions. This is about her, not you, but it’s so difficult for you to not be impacted. No mother wants to see her child hurting, and Callie currently is. It kills you. “Callie….” Moving up from your chair, you move across to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in yours. “Have you been sad because you miss your dad?”

All you need to hear is one sniffle, and instantly, you’re reaching for her, holding and comforting her.

“It’s okay,” you soothe, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay, baby.” She cries into your chest, and you have to hold back your own tears.

“Why doesn't he come back?” She asks in between tears, wiping her eyes. “He’s been gone a really long time.” It’s only then you realize that she’s not entirely exaggerating. Joe was last here for Christmas. It’s now the end of January. For a child like Callie, that must feel like an eternity.

“He would if he could, Callie. I promise you he would. Daddy just…he gets really busy with his job this time of the year, and he can’t leave or he’ll get in trouble.” It’s so difficult to explain this to her. WrestleMania season is inarguably chaotic and stupidly busy. Even back in the day, Joe’s trips to see you were most far and few in between during this time of year. And that was before he even had a title. You can’t even imagine how busy he must be as the literal fucking face of the company.

Enough to keep him from being able to come see you and Callie.

You’ve just gotten so used to the dynamics of him being away for periods at a time that it never occurred to you Callie hasn’t had the same experience. That at the end of the day she’s still a little kid who just wants to be with her dad.

It’s then that a thought crosses your mind.

“What if…..what if we went to see daddy?” For the first time since you stepped into the room, her eyes actually light up and you notice her tears lessening. “Instead of him coming to us, we go see him?”

“Really?” There’s the faintest smile on her face, and you know then that you’re going to make this happen. You don’t know how or in what way, but it will be a reality. No matter what it takes.

“Yeah,” you answer, brushing away some of her tears. “You can go see him at his show. He’d love that.” Not as much as she clearly loves the idea alone. “Now, we’d only be able to stay a day or maybe two but—”

“Please,” she interrupts, and you get the sense that she fears you’re going to find a way to say that you couldn’t or shouldn’t go. “I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”

“Baby, you’re already the best girl.” You push back some of her hair, resting your hand against her cheek. “Mama’s gonna make it happen, okay? I promise.”

If you have to sell one of your kidneys, then you’ll just be less one organ, because you’re getting your baby to that damn show. Matter of fact, you don’t say anything to her, but you’re wondering if you can make it to this week’s upcoming show. It’s only Sunday, and that gives you a couple of days to make arrangements and secure tickets. It’s doable, but you don’t want to get her hopes up, so just in case, you say nothing.

And yes, in the back of your mind, you know she’ll see Joe in a couple of weeks for the game, but that’s too long. Your child is hurting. You need to do something now. She can’t wait that long.

“Thank you, mommy!” She wraps her little arms around you, and just like that, you see the spark and joy that fills your days with light and laughter. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.” Kissing her temple, you release her, realizing something else. “Now we can't tell your daddy because we’re gonna surprise him, okay? Can you do that for me?”

She nods, happily, unaware of the real reason. You know that you can’t tell Joe about this. Well, not now at least. This is not something to be discussed over the phone or even video chat. And if you tell him you want to take her to see him as soon as possible, he’ll know something is up.

So, you have to move in silence.

Coloring with Callie commences for a little longer as you value and cherish your time with her, but as soon as she’s down for her nap and before you wake Alexis from hers to tell her the news, you need to do something. It’s in that time bonding with her you realized how you’re going to make this happen.

You’re suddenly immensely grateful for that random conversation you’d had with Joe a while back regarding the fact that he and the twins have had the same phone number since they were in high school.

Pulling out your phone, you scroll through your contacts until you land on the one you need. You type, backspace, and type some more, only sending out the text once you’re fully pleased with it.

You: Hey, Jon. This is Y/N. Can you call me when you get a chance? Preferably sooner rather than later. I need your help with something. And please don’t tell Joe. It’s a surprise.

________

God clearly wants you to bring Callie to see Joe.

There’s just too many things that have lined up perfectly for that not to be the case. The discussion with your principal went well, though that wasn’t entirely surprising. You’ve always had a cordial relationship and know she respected your grandma. The whole school system in your town did. That was just her level of impact. But that respect has slid down to work in your favor as your principal told you to take as much time as you need.

“You’ll always have a job here.”

While not a huge concern, it’s reassuring and not entirely unsurprising. Again, your grandma’s impact definitely granted you a level of nepotism. You were slightly surprised when she actually encouraged you to take more time off, pointing out how in the almost nine years you’ve worked there, she could count on one hand how much PTO or vacation time you’ve used. And, it’s true. It was really only when Callie was sick and your mom couldn't help or you wanted to stay home and nurse her back to health that you called out. For the most part, you had damn near perfect attendance.

But, that’s certainly about to change, and you’re thankful you have a job that’s flexible enough to accommodate the change.

And then there’s the actual getting there. You should have known when Alexis was asking questions about when you and Callie were leaving that she was up to something. You naively chalked it up to her planning her flight out, as there was no way you expected her to wait around for ya’ll to get back. Instead, she was busy buying not just her ticket to come with ya’ll but yours and Callie’s as well.

You instantly felt bad when she forwarded you the itinerary information. You couldn’t see the cost, but you weren’t stupid either. Getting flights out with such short notice had to be expensive as all outdoors. You were just going to put the bill on your credit card and work to pay it off. And, of course, when you offered to pay her back, she nearly cussed you out. As if such an offer was insulting.

“What good is a trust fund if you can’t spend it on your college roomie and pretend godchild?”

So, while you still felt slightly uncomfortable, you were able to push it to the backburner for the sake of Callie. This is all for her, and you don’t care what it takes to make it happen. Even if it means sucking up your pride.

And deep down, you know if Alexis didn’t do what she did, Joe would somehow find a way to compensate you. The same way his ass somehow got his card on file at the hospital and covered all of Callie’s medical bills without ever even asking you if you needed help.

You still haven’t talked to him about that, not really having or finding the right time, but it also feels a bit bitchy and ungrateful to be upset with the man for covering his daughter’s medical expenses.

Then there’s the actual show itself. One thing you were initially concerned about was if Joe has a match lined up for this upcoming week’s show. You two have only had a couple of discussions about it but still enough for you to learn that he’s extremely hesitant to expose Callie to his wrestling persona.

“I don’t want her seeing me like that, thinking that’s who I am.”

And you understand him fully. Roman may be a fascinating character, but he’s equally narcissistic and ruthless as he is intriguing. The complete opposite of Joe and who he is.

Still, you’ve worked to help him understand that talking to Callie, explaining to her that he’s playing a “character” could help her understand better. You both are in agreement that she’s too young to watch actual matches, especially his as they tend to get brutal, but she can see certain promos. And she does. You let her watch a couple where the dialogue is safe enough to go over her head. And truth be told, she’s so focused on watching Joe that she's not really paying attention to what’s being said anyway.

Needless to say, you were massively relieved to hear from Jon that Joe doesn't have a match lined up and his promo is reportedly tame and safe enough for Callie’s eyes and ears. He didn’t give specifics, but from one parent to another parent, you trust his judgment.

And the most important thing of all is the fact that Callie has done a complete 180. She’s no longer as irritable, just the usual attitude when she’s sleepy or hungry. Just like her mama. And there’s that spark of joy in her eyes. She’s even started packing what she wants to bring with her. She knows you’ll only be there for one night, but even that can’t seem to dim her joy.

It makes your heart swell.

All of this brings you to your conclusion that you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.

“Ahhh, and here it is.” The old woman’s voice breaks you from your inner dialogue as she walks toward the counter, returning from the back. “Sorry about that sweetheart.”

“No worries, Mrs. Ella.” Your eyes light when you see the item in her hand, even if it’s covered by a cloth bag. The fact that it’s ready is more than enough to make you smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this.”

She waves off your concern, offering a warm smile. “Your grandma was one of my best friends. As far as I’m concerned, anything you need is a done deal.”

That warms your heart. Mrs. Ella has been the town seamstress for longer than you’ve been alive but doesn’t look a day over 50. She’s not lying either. Your grandma always cited her as one of her “life” sisters.

“Why don’t we take a look to make sure it’s alright?” She offers, removing the item from the garment bag. She takes the hoodie and turns it over so you can see the back.

In awe, you acknowledge, “it’s perfect.”

Among the many things Joe has gifted Callie, WWE apparel hasn’t really been included in that list. You’ve chalked it up to his hesitation about familiarizing her with his Roman persona. However, you know that girl loves her daddy and will support him in all the things, so you took it upon yourself to pick her up a few items over the holidays. One of those things being a black hoodie with Roman’s picture on the front with him wearing one of his head of the table shirts. Wanting to make it special and personal, you had the idea of customizing it. Thus, asking Mrs. Ella to add to the back, Acknowledge my daddy!, and she did a fabulous job. It looks like that was the original design.

Pulling out your wallet, you ask, “how much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house.”

Your eyes snap to her. “Mrs. Ella, no, this was a rush—”

“Don’t argue with your elders, child,” she scolds, and you smile warmly. “Just show me a picture of her wearing it, and we’ll be even.”

Moved by her generosity, you offer your gratitude again. “Thank you, Mrs. Ella. Seriously. Thank you.”

Hand over yours, she just nods and then ushers you out the door, “well, you better get a move on child.”

With a small laugh and one more thank you, you leave out with the hoodie, excited to show Callie and even more, to see Joe’s reaction when he sees her wearing it.

“Y/N?”

Fuck. You’d know that voice anywhere, have known it since you were five years old.

That doesn’t mean you have to heed to it.

You keep walking.

A stupid decision, because the footsteps behind you become louder and faster as she asks, exasperated, “would you just talk to me?”

You spin around, suddenly pissed at her repeated question. “Why? Why should I talk to you?”

You’ve dodged and ignored her texts the same way she did yours, so what’s the issue now? Being on the receiving end must be one hell of an unpleasant experience for her. Not that you give two shits. Mariah is the last thing on your plate right now.

Mariah seems taken back, and that just pisses you off more. How can she not see her wrong in this situation? “You’re my best friend, Y/N. We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Did it mean something to you when you were fucking Amir?”

Something you can’t identify flashes in her eyes followed by apparent hurt. “Are you serious right now? You’d really believe him over me.” It’s hard to tell how sincere her watery eyes are or if they’re performative. You’ve never known her to be fake, but then again, maybe you’ve never really known her at all. “That’s fucked up.”

Finding some level of compassion and understanding for the woman you called your best friend for almost your entire life, you try to offer her the benefit of the doubt. “Okay, let’s say you’re not fucking him. At the very least, you’ve been telling him my business while ignoring my texts and calls. Like, what the fuck, Mo?”

She shakes her head. “He came to me, worried about you—”

“He came to you nosy and upset because I cut it off with him, and you fell into his trap.” How she can possibly fall for Amir’s bullshit is beyond you. She knows how he is. Hell, she’s been right beside you, up until recent weeks/months, dealing with his bullshit. So, her excuse is just that—an excuse. “And even if he was, as my best friend, you should know that’s still girl code violation.”

It feels almost silly citing that, but the morals behind it still ring true. You would never talk to Caleb about things going on in her life when you know they’re not on good terms. And you damn sure would never fuck him.

“Girl code?That’s funny coming from you, because you didn’t seem to to care about girl code when you were fucking another woman’s husband and had a whole ass baby for him.”

Her words stop you dead in your tracks. Any facial expression you may have been showing is dropped and neutral. Even your voice is softer, less accusatory. “Excuse me?”

For her to say that to you, knowing how sensitive a subject that is truly takes you by surprise. Truly.

It doesn’t stop there though. “I mean, forreal, Y/N. You’re up in my face about Amir, but aren’t you still fucking Joe? Shit, how many niggas do you need?” It’s hard to believe the words coming out her mouth, so angry and hostile. But, even her volume rising has you stumped. It’s like she wants to draw an audience. “It’s not enough to be one man’s whore, but you still gotta have another on the side?”

Truly baffled, all you can ask is, “where is this coming from?”

She sucks her teeth, just as irritated, if not more by your question. “It’s always been this shit with you. You do whatever the fuck you want and don’t care who you hurt or betray in the process!”

And now you’re just straight up confused, because what have you ever done to her? Cause that’s what it sounds like she’s implying. Like you’ve done her wrong. Like you’ve been doing her wrong. “What are you even talking about?”

“You got Joe. You got Amir. Shit, when is enough enough for you?” She scoffs, and it’s hard for you to even look at her let alone listen to all the hurtful things she’s spewing. “Like damn, find a new hobby. Focus on raising your kid—”

And that…..that is the moment that you’re no longer confused, or hurt, or saddened to hear your best friend say such awful things. You’re pissed. Cause one thing no one can convince you you’re not, is a good mother. You’ve dedicated your entire life and being to taking care of Callie, making sure she’s straight. That’s always been your priority, and for her to suggest otherwise….those are really fighting words.

You step toward her, finding all of the will in the world not to shatter her jaw. “You and I have so much history. It is the only reason I’m not whooping your ass right now, but know this, Mariah. This was your freebie. Fuck with me again, speak on my child again, and I’ll bash your fucking head into the nearest wall.” It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. “Stay away from me, bitch.”

You don’t give her time to respond or even yourself the chance to lay her out, you instead rush to your car, locking the door and speeding out of the parking lot.

Your knuckles are nearly white with how tightly you’re gripping the steering wheel.

It’s been a while since you’ve been this hot. Years maybe. Amir would piss you off, sure, but never to the extent of your emotions in this moment. It truly took all resolve and imagining Callie’s disappointed face at not being able to see her dad because you got yourself locked up for aggravated assault to keep you from beating Mariah’s ass. She knows better than anyone that you don’t play about your daughter, so for her to include Callie in her mud slinging is not only repugnant but hurtful.

She’s supposed to be Callie’s godmother.

But beyond that, you’re having a hard time reconciling with the rest of the things she was saying. It didn’t feel like something that’s been building up over the past few months. No, this was different. Much…..deeper.

Regardless, you don’t have time to deal with this shit. You need to put your focus on preparing to bring your little girl to see her dad.

Mariah can fuck off.

She’s always been all bark and no bite anyway.

________

“Mommy.”

Callie doesn’t even have to say anything else for you to know a request is to follow.

“What's up, sis?”

She climbs on top of where you lay on the sofa, you and Alexis watching some random dating show she swears up and down is the best thing since Love is Blind. So far, you’re entirely unimpressed. Granted, reality shows of any kind have never been your cup of tea in the first place.

Your YouTube history is mostly crime documentaries and Bloodline videos.

She climbs on top of you, throwing her arms up and shouting, “dance party!”

Of all her typical requests, that’s one you haven’t heard in a while.

You’ve always raised Callie with music, even back when you were pregnant, you would take your Beats and place them on your belly. It’s seemingly worked because this child loves music, so much so that you two would have random “dance party’s” where you’d blast music and dance around, no care in the world, just the two of you.

You haven’t had one in a while, but seeing Callie so happy, a stark contrast from how she’s been is more than enough to get you up and on your feet. You look over at Alexis. “Come on, Lex, it’s dance party time.”

She feigns a gasp, looking at Callie for approval. “Do I get to come to this party?”

Callie giggles and jumps on the sofa. “Of course! Everyone can come to dance party!”

What’s also ironically funny is the fact that you and Alexis used to have dance parties all the time in your dorm, just often with much more explicit Travis Porter, Speaker Knockerz, type music and a lot of ass shaking.

“Well tonight, it’s just the three of us,” you laugh, grabbing your phone and opening your Spotify to figure out what will be your kickoff song. It’s when your eyes land on that one though, you know you’ve found it.

Connecting your phone to your Bluetooth, you confirm the connection and hit play.

We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea

But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be

“My favorite white girl song ever!” Alexis shouts, starting to dance with Callie who’s just as excited about your selection. Together, the three of you dance and sing when the iconic chorus hits.

If you gave me a chance I would take it

It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it

Know with all of your heart, you can't shake me

When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

At some point, Alexis grabs your phone, recording and capturing the laughter and joy you experience dancing and being silly with your very, very best friend. Callie’s laughter could revive any soul, and it’s so genuine. Even more, you know a large chunk of it is her excitement to see her dad in a couple of days.

And that makes it all the more special.

Eventually needing a break and time to catch your breath, you laugh as the song ends and the next one starts. Lex and Callie immediately go at it for round two, spinning around and dancing to Dance the Night.

You take a second to check your phone, seeing that you have a Snapchat from Joe. Frowning, you open the message confused as to why he’s using that and not just text. He only has the damn app because you made him get it. He’s not very big on social media outside of occasional Instagram posts.

Swiping it open, you see why he was messaging you on there.

Because your wonderful best friend sent him the video she recorded of the three of you dancing.

Joe: How do I save this?

Joe: Fuck it. It’s too confusing. Just send it to me.

Laughing, you chew on your bottom lip and type out a reply.

You: You’re such an old man. 😩

You: But yes, I’ll send it, even if I didn’t know Alexis was recording to send it to you...

You: Callie loves “dance parties” lol

Joe: I love her laugh. She looks so happy…

You: I know. ❤️ She loves music. Def my kid.

You: Skillet is next on the queue, btw. 🙃

Joe: Don’t know what that is, but if I had to take a guess, it’s some rock shit.

You: You know me so well. 😊

Joe: Of course, baby.

Leaving his thread, you realize that if she sent it to Joe, she probably posted it to your private story as well, which is fine. You only have people on there you know and trust to keep the contents within that space.

But, it’s in checking the views that you see Mariah not only watched but screen recorded your story. It’s strange, normally you wouldn’t think twice about it. She’s always screenshotted and screen recorded stuff you posted, and you did the same with Micah.

But now…..

Now, it feels wrong to share these moments with her. She’s lost that privilege.

Moving to your contacts, you ignore her old Snapchat name she never uses anymore and instead just block her primary one from seeing your stories, and that includes close friends. And interestingly enough, when you check your texts, you see one from her muted thread that momentarily causes you to pause.

Mariah: Kinda stupid to ice out the one person who knows everything about you.

But the pause comes and goes, Mariah always says shit, and that’s where it stops, the saying. She’s always been the mouse of you two, and that shit ain’t changed.

Closing up the app, you switch back to Spotify and focus on what’s before you and not behind you.

You have all the people you need in your life.

Mariah can fuck off.

#roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns fic #roman reigns #arisnotebook

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smoothies-are-cool · 7 months

Text

kiss me thru the phone

boyfriend! matt sturniolo x reader

summary: reader and matt do long distance until reader surprises him on tour.

warnings: swearing, pet names (baby, beautiful), kissing.

a/n: i love this song ❤️❤️

READERS POV

“i miss your beautiful face.” my boyfriend, matt says.

we were on facetime because he moved to los angeles with his brothers to pursue their career. we met in middle school in boston and i still live there.

“you’re looking at it.” i giggle.

“i know but i miss kissing it. hopefully i’ll get to see you while we’re in boston.” he says. matt and his brothers were about to go on their second tour. little did matt know, i had tickets to the boston show AND the des moines show in iowa.

pretend there was a boston show on the versus tour.

“i know baby. even if you don’t have to time to stop home i’ll camp outside the venue even if i’m able to see you for only a minute.” i tell him.

“kiss me through the phone.” matt randomly says.

“what?” i ask, making sure i heard him right.

“kiss me through the phone, come on.” he repeats, moving his lips closer to the phone. i giggle and do the same.

4 days later

📍des moines, iowa

“okay and before we go we have one more person we want to come out and say a few words.” nick says into the microphone, grabbing another microphone from one of the venue workers. nick and chris were in on the secret.

matt sends chris a confused look and chris just shrugs.

“i’d like to welcome y/n l/n to the stage!” nick smiles and the crowd goes crazy as i walk out onto the stage. i wave to the crowd before locking eyes with matt. he stands there, his eyes wide and his mouth open. chris quickly grabs matt’s microphone as matt makes his way towards me.

“you’re here.” he says softly.

“congrats on the win baby.” i smile. matt pulls me into him and places a quick kiss on my lips. we keep it brief because we’re on stage.

“okay let me talk.” i whisper pulling away as nick hands me the second microphone.

“okay hi everyone! i want to apologize now for any stuttering or anything i’ve never spoke in front of a crowd this big. if you don’t know me, hi i’m y/n, matt’s girlfriend.” i speak and the crowd screams. chris, nick and matt make their way to my sides.

“these boys mean so much to me. like more than words could explain. i’m gonna tell the story on how we met, but i’m gonna keep it brief because i could talk about it for literal hours. i actually met chris first. we were in the same class in second grade and we were both alone at recess so we just became friends with each other. chris has been the person i went to for anything from that moment on. he was the first person i told about my huge crush on matt.” i say, giggling softly.

“he has always supported me through everything and when i was in the wrong he always told me so i really appreciate that.” i look at chris as i say this, pulling him into a hug.

“woo i will probably end up crying so ignore that. nick is genuinely the love of my life.” i say, laughing when i see matt’s offended look. “all jokes aside, i know nick would do anything to protect me and he has done anything to protect me. i remember this one time a guy wouldn’t leave me alone and when he tried to pull me to his car nick literally tackled him.” i said, causing the crowd to laugh.

“i really appreciate everything you do for me.” i hug nick and move to stand next to matt.

“oh god matt where do i start.” i mutter softly. “my crush started on matt during the summer of 8th grade. we didn’t end up getting together until senior year but that’s besides the point.”

“seeing matt grow up and over come his fears makes me so proud. i remember when he would never order his own food and now he’s talking to and standing in front of thousands of people everyday. so i’m really proud of him for that. i remember when i realized that i was in love with matt. i have a little sister and one time she fell and when i had turned around to help her matt was already helping her. and then he cleaned up the cut on her knee and put a bandaid on it. i don’t know why but that was when i realized i was in love with him. matt is my best friend and lover all in one. he knows me like the back of his hand and he can so easily read my emotions.” my eyes slowly start to fill with tears and matt wraps his arms around my waist from behind me.

“i don’t have much time left so i have to word this strategically. the fact that they’re just three boys from massachusetts is crazy to me. i don’t think they’ve realized how many people they’ve helped, including myself. these three boys right here are living proof that dreams do come true and you can do it so don’t let anyone tell you differently. they are my people, the one ones i actually want to be around and the ones i would do anything for. and i want this forever.” i say, my voice cracking as tears falling down my cheeks. i notice nick and chris both have tears too.

“nick, matt, chris. i’m so beyond proud of you and i love you more than life itself. i’m so grateful that i met you guys because i would not have made it today without you guys.” i speak, my voice cracking. i see matt’s eyes have tears but he’s trying to not let them fall. we all do a big group hug, say goodbye to the crowd and walk off stage.

i gasp softly as matt pulls me back into him. his arms go around my waist and mine go around his shoulders.

“you okay matt?” i ask. he doesn’t respond and i feel hot tears on my shoulder.

“baby..” i say softly, pulling him impossibly closer.

“i’m really glad you’re here.” he tells me, pulling away but he keeps his arms around me.

“surprise!” i giggle as he places his lips on mine.

yn.ln

🏷️ christophersturniolo 🏷️ nicolassturniolo

🏷️ matthew.sturniolo

liked by: mattandynfp27894 , christophersturniolo and 154,927 others

yn.ln - so beyond proud of my boys <3

65,204 comments

matthew.sturniolo - i love you so much

↳ yn.ln - i love you more.

user - her speech that she gave 🥹🥹

christophersturniolo - tried so hard to keep it together during your speech. love you always ❗️

↳ yn.ln - love you chris 🧡

user - the way they all cried during her speech. they all mean so much to each other.

*liked by yn.ln*

nicolassturniolo - my mf soulmate. I LOVE YOU FOREVER

↳ yn.ln - I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU 💜

matthew.sturniolo - so lucky to have you ❤️

↳ yn.ln - you mean so much to me ❤️❤️

a/n: hi !

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo fandom #sturniolo x reader #spotify

161 notes · View notes

yourelliewillms · 7 months

Text

i miss you on a train

ellie williams x reader

angst !! also fluff but mainly angst. liiittle mention of smut.

summary: it's been a year since ellie and you broke up, you haven't spoken since then and she probably thinks you've forgotten about her. what she doesn't know is that you're thinking about her all the time.

the first months were the worst. every night you had a dream about her, the picture of her in your mind would be enough to wake you up in the middle of the night with tears in your eyes or, sometimes, with a smile on your face. but that was the one you hated the most because your dreams usually felt so real, you felt her near you but when you realized it had been just a dream, your day would be completely ruined. you couldn't stop thinking about her. even if you tried, your mind would randomly bring memories that would only break your heart into pieces again and again.

after a year, you can say you're over her or at least that's what you like to think. you really want to move on and maybe start seeing other people to try to take her out of your heart. but everytime you take the train and raindrops fall from the sky to your window like one of those dramatic music videos, the first thing your brain does is bring her back. those green eyes that once looked at you with sparkles in them, strings of her auburn hair falling from her characteristic bun and the heat of her body that used to warm you up during the winter. you can't help thinking about every single detail of her, even if you try to put on your headphones and look out the window to stop those unwanted thoughts, the sound of her laugh in your mind would be louder than the song playing on your phone.

the rain just made things worse, it reminded you of that time ellie and you were on one of your first dates. it was raining, you were soaked but you didn't care at all because you just wanted to be with her all the time. you were walking under the rain, holding ellie's wet hand, was it wet because of the raindrops falling on her arm or because she was so nervous that her hand would sweat all the time your hair was already wet and there were raindrops on your cheeks yet ellie was looking at you with so much love, you could swear there were hearts in her eyes before she gave you that kiss in the pouring rain. you felt your heart fluttering when her shaky hands brushed against your face while she took you closer to her letting your cold nose touch hers, it was only you and her in the world. you remember how soft and hot her lips were that time. you remember the way your hair was sticking to your face and how ellie would stop kissing you for a second to take out the strings of hair that would get on the way of your kiss and then her lips would desperately look for yours again.

you haven't forgotten about those nights when she would show up at your window at 3 am just to show you the pages of that private sketchbook of hers with new drawings that only you were able to see, or some new song she'd learned in her guitar, or just because she missed you. you had to shush her because of how loud she was, always laughing at her own dad jokes and screaming but never failing at putting a smile on your face.

or that first night you spent together. you remember how gentle her touch felt when your naked bodies met each other for the first time. kind and slow the whole night, ellie making sure you were comfortable. her skin burned against yours and you could tell she was nervous just by the way her voice was shaking and her heavy breathing. "just tell me what makes you feel good" you whispered on her ear and she let go a sigh of relief as she nodded. you stood awake all that night because after you touched and kissed every single part of your bodies, you felt the strongest connection you'd ever felt with someone in your life.

the freezing weather brought to your mind those cold nights when you wouldn't talk to each other because some stupid argument in which her words felt like knives piercing in your heart while you told her all her faults. long nights when you'd fall asleep with tears in your eyes and the next morning wake up with migraine, sick to your stomach and your eyes swollen. however, your mood would be completely changed by just one text of hers "good morning, babe" pretending nothing had happened. not a single 'sorry' from either you or her because that was they way your relationship "worked" (it did not).

when you come back to the real world and get out of the bus, you'd look around trying to find her but she's not there. the bus stop is empty and she's not with you there, she's not waiting for you like she used to. the weather is cold and she's not there to give you her jacket, the rain is falling but she's not there to kiss you.

meeting ellie was one of the best yet worst experiences of your life because even if you tried, you can't forget the freckles on her face and the smell of her natural body scent. you hate the fact that you'll never be able forget her.

thank you for reading <3 pleaseee tell me if you find mistakes or if you have any constructive feedback !!

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x you #the last of us #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie headcanons #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams angst #ellie williams au #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams the last of us

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tobbotobbs · 1 year

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what about cod men with reader who BLASTS music like ayesha erotica, nikki minaj and etc randomly while chilling or has headphones and does that while on field

Ohhhh I think they would probably be all so confused or worried if it happened in the middle of a mission lol, here my thoughts to that scenario:

When Ghost heard you playing Nasty from Ayesha for the first time on the middle of interrogating someone they captured and kept alive on their mission, he was very irritated. Soap tried to get the new, right information out of the soldier meanwhile you two and Gaz stood in the darker corner, staring at the horrified man as you quietly sang the lines of the song playing over your headset.

,,Damn I'm sorry I blew you off, I was doing lunch with Microsoft. I'm sucking off a C.E.O, if he's not a millionaire then I've got to go~"

,,What the hell?! Y/n quit that singing! What even is that?", Ghost looked disgusted at you, questioning why he was even befriended with you in first place but quick to remember that you're actually his favorite person on earth, except for when you were listening to sich filth. In the middle of a mission. He quickly became used to it though, just told you once in a while to keep it down or put the music off if the operation was in need of your attention. He didn't enjoy the music as it was, the text too vulgar and flithy for his liking, but he couldn't deny that the melodies of some of your songs were quite catchy sometimes. Of course he grew even more annoyed when you and Gaz would play songs together on base and Soap would jump in on it with his ugly singing.

He didn't knew you were listening to that kind of music. He sometimes heard you playing some songs as loud as you could in your room, but he never understood a thing of what was sang and your door was always locked, as if to keep people out from seeing you dance some kind of risky dance to this music. Oh boy, if he knew.

Emo Boy was suddenly playing. It scared the shit out if Soap, Kyle and yourself even though it was your ringtone.

,,Oh shit! Sorry guys, Mama's calling. Don't wait for me with the movie!", you were smiling at them and quickly picking up and talking to your mum over the phone.

,,Was that-", ,,Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica?", ,,Oh. My. God. I heard that right?!!?", ,,Yeah...I didn't know Y/n would listen to that type of music Soap!", ,,Me neither Gaz...it's a catchy song though", ,,Oh it really is. Probably why he chose it?", ,,Yeah...you think he's also into other songs of that genre?", ,,Maybe. Are you?", ,,Oh hell nuh. Not me, no no".

Gaz raises a brow at that and smirks. Then they both start laughing. ,,Oh you are so listening to this kind of music man!", ,,Pah, and if I am? You knew the song by name and artist by just a few seconds of melody playing!", ,,Ah yeah you got me there mate heh"

,,Alright guys, I'm back! Let's start this movie night shall we?", you grinned and sat next to Kyle again, who just smiled at you and nodded, reaching for the remote control. ,,Tell me, is that the music you alway listen and dance to in your room?", ,,Uhm yeah, whx Kyle?", ,,...Wanna show me one of those dances someday?", he grinned suggestively and you just giggled at that.

Oh this man showed you this tyoe of music, actually. He was playing some song from Doja Cat on the radio of the car from his so nicely called "Hype or Horn Me Up" playlist. You were confused at first. The words used in the songs were...interesting. And Soap was dancing and tapping to it like he was in some dance off. It was amusing and fun. Of course his taste in music wore off on you and so it surprised noone on the team when you were running past them on the field, gun in hand while looking as if you had the time of your life, the could hear for a short time the music blasting through your headphones as you went to go for the next kills.

,,I ain't tryna be cool like you hmmhmhmhmm", you sang while aiming to shoot an enemy, the new song coming on another Doja Cat favourite of you and soap. Hitting the target clean in the head you smirked. ,,I'm bitch. I'm a boss. I'm bitch, I'm a boss, I'm a shine like gloss!", ,,Oi yes you are Darlin!", Soap beamed from behind you. Price was just sighing and pinching his nosebridge while Ghost was just standing next to him like an annoyed older sibling.

You guys would play this type of music all around the base, 24/7. All week long. Until Price got so mad he made you do the dishes and gave you one month of cleaning duty. You did in fact not keep it down afterwards and everyone just had to live with it. Some of the younger recruits actually enjoyed it and envied you guys for that, made them feel less stressed and more relaxed.

Oh boy. Oh. Boy. He nearly died. First time you blasted that music on the car ride to some pub out of town because you guys all got some time off duty? He was thinking about how he could never go to heaven now, or even just into a church. He would perish just standing on the steps of a church. But then he remembered, he wasn't even religious. So that was fine. But then he thought "Why the fuck is this muppet listening to THAT?!!?!?". You currently sat in the driver's seat and danced to S.L.U.T by Bea Miller. Before that a song way worse was playing, Price recalled (it was I Want Your Bite by Cara Cunningham). This one now wasn't too bad. It was quite nice actually. Way more innocent than ghe other one. John was thankful for that, he grew very hot and was all flustered by the other song which made him feel a little uncomfortable.

,,Oh we're nearly there Cap!", ,,Y-Yes. Just...just put the car to a stop yeah?", ,,Whatever you say Captain!", you smiled while the next song came on. ,,Oh my god this one is so good!". Price looked over to you, awaiting something more innocent again like before. He thought wrong.

,,Ride it, slide it, bite, get inside it

Come on, touch my body

I know that you like it, you can't hide it

Come on touch my body

Hotter, bigger, faster, longer, thicker

Come on touch my body!", you sang loud and proud to the lines of Treat Me Like A Slut by Kim Petras. John officially was a tomato now. He loved seeing you having your fun, but this was surely and never will be his kind of music choice.

,,Treat Me Like A Slut, little dirty bitch I love to fuck!", ,,Okayyy I think it's- oh look there's the pub! Get us a good parking lot and then we'll have some fun kid, a'right?", ,,Yes!".

Poor guy always gets all red when he hears some of his boys play such music. And with Soap and you, and occasionally also Kyle, on his team that was a lot of times. But he wouldn't be too mad about it. Just sometimes id you played it too loud or while he was in an important meeting. He did enjoy seeing you all have your fun so he is not too strict with punishments.

You are playing some pretty filthy, nasty song in your shared house. Ale just came back from grocery shopping, Rudy in tow helping him with the bags. You were wearing just a shirt and boxers while singing to the song, looking through some magazines on the couch and just waiting for Alejandro to be back. He new of your guilty pleasure for those songs, this kind of music. He adored the way you would get all red sometimes when he talked about it to you, but he doesn't judge. He actually listens to songs like this as well. Obviously in spanish. He showed you some in his native language and you enjoyed them, even if you didn't know what was said.

Alejandro would laugh sometimes when you randomly put the music on while you were in a fight. It always made his mood go all the way up hearing and seeing you enjoy this music, especially if you would listen to the spanish ones he had shown you. For him it is no problem. He trusts you with being focused on missions so he allows you to listen to music, sometimes you even listen together over the radio.

The same goes for Rodolfo, but the poor guy would be worried sick if you would start blasting loud music on missions out of nowhere. Give the little guy a warning beforehand so he doesn't shoot you out of shock hehe. He also shows you songs in spanish, some that are not as filthy as yours but have the same kind of energy and he translates them for you.

Little german/austrian boy listens to filthy music himself. He is the biggest Rammstein fan there is. One of his favourite songs is probably Bück Dich (Bend Over) and Dicke Titten (Big Boobs/Big Tits). He also really enjoys Labyrinth by OOMPH! It's not really filthy with words but the meaning is pretty dirty. It's also a banger like, he was so happy you enjoyed listening to music with him. To that kind of music as well. He really wantes to visit a Rammstein concert with you someday, if you said yes.

He doesn't listen to music on the job though. And because he's your colonel he asked you kindly to not do it either. On the flight to wherever the mission was? Yes of course he will even listen with you to calm his nerves. At the base? Sometimes he even gets Horangi to join you guys, who really hates this kind of music because he heard too much of it in hia home country (he absolutely hates kpop and all the horny people coming with it).

When you showed him some of your favourite artists and they would sing too fast or use words he didn't understand, you would try to translate for him and the most funny german ever. He told you it was fine to try to explain in english but you really wanted to make him happy and maybe even laugh a little when you tried to explain that the person in the song just sang "Ich möchte in deinen Titten ertrinken" (I wanna drown on those tits/boobs of yours). He is so sweet if someone came up and would make fun of you listening to such music, like he would finally use his rank for once and make them regret for ever saying that to you.

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strniohoeee · 8 months

Text

Web Of Desire

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is a sweet girl who just loves all things rough and dangerous. Except her facade is cracked by her current obsession…..🗡️

Warnings⚠️: SMUT, just fingering. Psycho obsessed reader, mean Chris kind of. Honestly Y/N is a bad bitch in this….queen knows what she wants and will stop at nothing.

Song for imagine: House of Balloons/Glass Table Girls- The Weeknd

⚠️This is an 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

Part 2 here

So don’t blame it on me

You didn’t call your home

So don’t blame it on me girl

Cause you wanted to have fun

Since Y/N could remember she was obsessed with all things mysterious and dangerous. The bad boys for lack of a better word. There was something about the fast cars, the money, the jewelry and the extravagant lifestyle that had her ears perked up when she was around a “bad boy”.

Her eyes becoming rounded in infatuation, a sheepish smile growing on her lips as she crossed her arms as dainty as she could. Nodding and blinking as they talked to her. Her dreams were crushed when they turned her down looking at her as nothing more than a mere deer in headlights.

So she gave up, but that was until she met Christopher. He wasn’t a dangerous boy, but he seemed different. Rough around the edges and deeper than most. His name rolled off her tongue as she’d say it to herself randomly. Although he wasn’t in that gang type of lifestyle he also wasn’t the nicest boy to everyone.

She gathered this information from him as she became friends with him and his brothers. An intense obsession soon pursuing. Her mind just fluttered with Chris as his friends called him, but she preferred Christopher.

As time went on and they grew closer she became obsessed with the chase. Knowing that she wasn’t the type of girl he went for she pushed even harder to get his attention. Now he didn’t ignore her or treat her badly like he did to other girls like she observed. The problem was that he was too nice to her and really enjoyed their friendship. This became a twisted yearning for him and all his approval.

Y/N slowly started to push more, seeing just how far she could take this little crush. Trying to make it as obvious as ever, but her advances fell on deaf ears and blind eyes. Sucking her teeth, and huffing out a breath of annoyance. She couldn’t wrap her head around why Chris didn’t look at her the way she wanted.

She’d say she didn’t want to date him, but to see what he was all about. To her this seemed normal, but in reality it was a sick obsession. Her benefit was that she could hide it well behind her “all too good” demeanor.

The innocent one was what she was known and seen as. She preferred it because then people didn’t expect much from her. She had twisted ideas racking up in her brain to see which one Chris would crumble from.

Slowly she started rolling out these ideas. It started with the skimpy outfits, and bending over in a dress or shorts that were too short, even the light hearted questions to get him to break down his walls. The hair twirls and the lashes batting as he spoke. The low cut shirts. But still he didn’t even care to look at her that way. Anger slowly bubbling inside her she needed HIM.

One day though his eyes lingered a little longer than she expected. A sheepish smile grew on her face as she turned on her heels.

Y/N sat on the lawn chair in their yard talking and laughing as they were clad in swimsuits soaking in the LA heat.

“I bought popsicklessss” Nick yelled as he walked back out from the side door

“Oh my god! Thank you! It’s so fucking hot” Y/N stated

“It is pretty hot out today” Matt said slapping sunscreen on his arms

“Want one?” Nick asked pointing the box to Y/N

“Uhh no I think I’m going to go for a swim first” She replied smiling up at him as he blocked the sun from hitting her eyes

He nodded at the girl and sat down. A twisted plan running in her head. She’d let the ice pops melt a bit before taking one so that it could melt on her, and she’d be a sticky mess. All for Chris to see…..

She removed her coverup. Clad in a black bathing suit. One that was very much a thong and very much open by her breasts.

Tossing the coverup behind her she dives into the pool. Giving a perfect view of her ass to Chris. Poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue as he watched her through his sunglasses.

About 10 minutes later Y/N got out walking over to the boys as she grabbed her towel. Drying herself off and making sure to bend forward giving Chris a clear view of her breasts.

“I think I’ll have a popsicle now” she said as she sat cruz’s cross on the lawn chair

“Be careful they’re probably melted by now” Nick said handing her the box

“Thanks” she said smiling and taking the box from his hands

Pulling out a cherry popsicle. That was after feeling around for the most melted one.

“You were digging in there for a while” Chris suddenly blurts out

“I couldn’t find the cherry one” she says lying through her teeth

“Right” he says seeing through her lies

Y/N began to suck on the popsicle as she watched Nick and Matt talk. Her tongue swirling around the sweet frozen treat. Her lips became stained with the color red.

“Do you have any plans tonight?” Matt suddenly asks her

“No, why?” She asked letting the popsicle melt some more

“Want to do movie night with us?” He asked her

“Fuck yes” she said

“Yay! Well order some dinner and do a movie marathon” Nick said

“Sounds fun to me, I'll just have to shower here if that’s cool?” She asked him

“Yeah of course, you can use my bathroom and I’ll use Matt’s” Nick replied

“You’re the best thank you” she replied smiling at the red haired boy

“Your icee” Matt said laughing at the girl

Her eyes darted to her hand as the red icee became liquid running down her hand and arm

“Oh shit” she said before licking up the side with a flat tongue. The melted liquid dripped onto her breasts and down the valley of them.

She began to eat it as more dripped on her chest. Finishing the popsicle and licking her red lips she stood up.

“I’m going to need that shower” she said laughing

“It’s all yours girl” Nick said

“After the shower, do you want to start the movies?” She asked them

“Sounds good to me” Nick said nodding at her

She glanced at Chris who sat with his legs spread, chest glistening with sweat as he watched her. Y/N finally felt like she won. Turning on her heels she walked back into the house

Making her way to Nick's room to shower. When she walked into his bathroom she remembered she brought bubble bath soap the last time she visited. Running the tub water and putting loads of soap in.

“Fuck I love bubbles” she said as her eyes widened in excitement

Stopping the water as the bubbles rose higher. The only downside was that Nick's bathroom had no door, so she hoped neither him nor Matt would walk in. Chris though, that she didn't mind so much. She giggled to herself as she thought this.

Reclipping her hair up before removing her bathing suit. Hanging it over the glass shower door to dry a bit more. She sunk into the warm water, engulfed by vanilla and cherry scented bubbles.

The only light source being that from the window above the tub. Casting a beautiful daytime light into the large room.

Washing her body with a cloth as she hummed to herself. The melody of “Laughing on the Outside” by Bernadette Carroll. Singing in between her hums as she scrubbed her legs.

“I’m laughing on the outside, crying on the inside cause I’m so in love with you” she sang as she leaned forward

Turning the warm water on again to heat up the coolness that began to engulf her. Leaning back before humming again.

“Now Y/N what would you say if Chris walked in here right now?” She asked herself out loud

“Hmmm” she responded to herself rubbing her chin

“I’d simply say, oh my god you perv how dare you?” She says acting fake shocked.

Laughing as she played with her necklace. She was going to make Chris hers one way or another.

Her mind tracking back to singing, swaying her arms in the water as a grin plastered on her face.

“How do you call your lover boy?” She asked herself

“Come, here lover boy” she said back to herself

“And if he doesn’t answer?” She said

“Oh, lover boy” she said swirling her tongue over her teeth

“And if he still doesn’t answer?” She said

“I simply say….baby, oh, baby” she sang as she laughed to herself

She laid back against the cold tub, smiling as she swayed her head side to side. Her movements stopped when she heard Nick's door creak open.

Choosing to ignore it as her eyes remained closed. But now she felt the breeze of an AC draft, and she knew that person was standing there.

“I know it’s you Chris” she said with a smile on her face as her eyes were still closed

The mystery person walked in, shutting the door behind themselves and walking in her direction. Her eyes snapping open to the sight of Chris standing at the bathroom doorway.

“Chris you perv! What are you doing?” She said acting fake shocked

“Drop it” he said bluntly and to this her brows furrowed

“What are you doing?” He asked her as he crossed his arms over his chest

“I’m bathing of course” she said moving the bubbles around from beneath the water

“That’s not what I meant” he said rolling his eyes

“Well then? What did you mean” she says sweetly looking up at him

“You’re real sick and deranged you know” he said shaking his head

“That’s not a nice thing to say” the girl responded pouting

“Nick and Matt don’t see it, but trust me I see right through your bullshit” he replied swallowing thickly

“Christopher….I don’t know what you’re talking about” the girl stated cocking her head to the side

“Short dresses? The cleavage? The dumb questions? Batting your eyes and that shit you pulled today? I know exactly what you’re doing and I’m not stupid” he said

“Not stupid? You fell for it today” she said shrugging her shoulders and looking to her left

Chris stomped over to her and roughly grabbed her by her face. Y/N taken aback as her breathing began to quicken

“What’s your problem huh?” He said as he looked the girl in her eyes

“Can’t you see? I like you” she said trying to pull away from his grip

“Like me? You’re crazy” he said letting go of her face

“I may have a bit of an obsession problem” the girl stated giggling

“That’s not funny” he said rolling his eyes

“Do you think I’m scary? Because I’d never do anything to hurt you” the girl stated looking up at the boy through her lashes

“You’re not scary, you’re just a girl who thinks she’s can get any guy she wants even if it means tricking them into it….tangling them up in her webs of insanity” he stated glaring down at the girl

“Wrong” the girl stated glaring back at Chris

“Oh I’m wrong? You crave attention don’t you? You need it? You thrive off of that shit” he said swallowing thickly

“I just want you to like me back is all” she states in a whisper

“No….no, you just like my attention” he stated shaking his head

“Wrong again” she states laughing dryly

Chris sunk down to his knees, plunging his right hand into the water and immediately grabbing Y/Ns pussy.

The girls mouth dropping as a gasp left her mouth. Going frozen against his touch. Her eyes darted to his own, and they were….they were challenging her?

“I’m giving you all my attention now sweetheart, and you’re going to say I’m wrong? Look at you I’m giving you what you’ve always wanted and you can’t even think straight” he says bluntly

His fingers swirling against her clit as he watched her intensely. Squirming against the rough palettes of his middle and ring finger.

“I just wanted to be the girl of your dreams. Wanted you to like me back as much as I liked you” she said looking at him with doe eyes and a pouty mouth

“You’re too crazy for me my dear, so take what I’m giving you and leave me alone after” he stated smiling obnoxiously in her face

“But please?” She moans out as his two fingers begin to sink deep into her. Curving against her g spot in a motion that has her head thrown back

“Think just because you have a pretty face I’ll like you?” He asks as his fingers plunge deeper into her, the water splashing around

“You think I’m pretty?” She asked as her mouth hung open

“God you’re one crazy bitch” he said as he stared her down

But Y/N didn’t care. In her eyes she won and she finally got the man of her dreams. He was knuckles deep in her, called her pretty and was now degrading her. A recipe so dark and delicious it was bringing her closer to the edge.

Her mouth hung open as little pants left her lips. A flush creeping up along her neck and chest. Loose hairs sticking to her forehead. And her grip on the edge of the tub was lethal. Her eyes never breaking away from Chris’

Chris leaned over, his lips against her ears.

“Is the pretty girl feeling better? Now that she’s fucked dumb simply from my fingers? Huh? Come on pretty girl talk to me” he said maliciously….taunting her

“I love when you call me that” she stated challenging him

“I’m finally giving you what you want and how does that make you feel?” He asked her ghosting his lips over her neck

“It makes me think you like me” she states as goosebumps formed

“Wrong” he said planting a kiss to her neck

His finger moved faster against her as she fought to keep her eyes open. Lewd sounds coming from her mouth often with his name directly after. Her back was arched off of the bathtub. Clenching down on his fingers as his thumb began to rub her clit.

“Come on pretty girl, cum for me” he says egging her on

“Fuck CHRIS” she yells as she reaches closer to her orgasm

“Look at you, making a mess on my fingers. Just how you always wanted” he states laughing

All Y/N can care about is orgasming and that’s all she’s focusing on. Her head is thrown back as strings of curse words leave her mouth. Her right hand now gripped at Chris’ arm that was under the water.

“Fuck fuck fuck” she begins to curse out

Clenching down on his fingers as she came, her back leaning off of the cold tub as her thighs began to shake. Her furrows furrowing as her mouth hung open and broken pants fell from her lips.

After coming down from her high Chris removed his fingers from her. Walking over to the sink and washing his hands.

Y/N shakily stood up as she wrapped herself in a towel. Pulling the plug and letting the not so bubbly water go down the drain.

Staring at Chris through the mirror.

“Are you happy now? I gave you what you wanted” he says as he washed his hands

“Of course your pretty girl is happy” she states staring at him through the mirror

“You’re not my girl. I simply needed to prove a point. That you crave male validation no matter what the cost is” he says dryly

Her face dropping and a smile growing on the young man’s face.

“Two steps ahead” she states

“I am two steps ahead” he says drying his hands

“No….two steps ahead….i'm always two steps ahead” she stated bluntly

Now it was Chris' turn for his face to drop as he watched her in the mirror.

“Wrong” he states nervously

“You see…. I plan almost all of my incidents so to speak. The melted icee was planned. The bubble bath was planned. The unlocked door was planned. I’m like a spider weaving my own web and you’re the dumb little fly who got caught in it” she says tilting her head to the side and smiling maliciously

“You think you’re all planned out, you’re not. I walked into this with a plan” he said furrowing his brows

“You see! Walked into it. You fell into my trap without even realizing it. I called you a perv and you stood. I told you I liked you and you stood. You were knuckles deep in me without me having to initiate any of it. You called me pretty and you wouldn’t be standing here right now if you didn’t feel the same way” she states to the boy who’s now questioning everything that just happened

“Now I’ve watched the way you’ve treated girls and I’ve listened to your hookup stories…. You only finger girls you like” she says smiling and laughing at him

“You’re a psycho and I’m over these mind games” he says throwing the towel on the counter

“You’ve called me crazy and deranged this whole time yet you stood” she says clapping her hands together

Chris stood there puzzled .….did she really have him this tied up. He couldn’t even realize that he walked into her web of craziness and couldn’t escape.

“Face it Chris…you’re stuck with me forever. So I’ll see you downstairs my love” she states before kissing him on the cheek and walking out of nick's room.

The young man was so confused. He swore he had this whole plan perfectly done. The whole time his plan was fueled by the deep desire he had for Y/N….. He was truly stuck with her forever. How the fuck did he get tangled up in this?

The End

I started this going one way and then I took a psycho turn to it LMFAOOAOOA. I hope yall enjoyed this one🕺🏼. I love yall dearly 🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

@sleepysturnss

#sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader smut #chris sturniolo smut #Christopher sturniolo smut #Christopher X reader smut #smut #sturniolo triplet smut #Spotify

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alexging · 9 months

Text

dating sean diaz hcs pt 2

- before esteban fixed up a car for sean, u guys would always take the public bus around seattle

- his favorite dates r the ones where u guys go into random small stores and thrift shops

- both of u guys cackle REALLY LOUD at tacky shirts with stupid sayings and get looks from people 😭

- ur fav thing is to go “i found something ud like” and watch sean look up from the racks in excitement to see an overly patriotic shirt that says “don’t touch my truck”

- his face drops into a frown and he picks out something 10x uglier and say it looks like something ud wear

- sean secretly buys what u say is cute but u cant afford bc thrifting is so expensive for no reason these days

- “guess what i got” and he slithers it out of his bag with an evil smile 😭 suddenly him dissing u for an hour straight doesnt even matter anymore

- once esteban texts sean for dinner u guys hop on the bus back home. he never asks sean to come home for dinner alone though! common courtesy to invite the gf

- sharing wired earbuds on the bus ride home always. sean plays little love songs bc he only listens to music that he relates to in that specific moment 😭 corny but cute. he def has songs in his head that he thinks are ur guys’ songs and plays them every chance he gets

- when u first started eating with the diaz family it was so painfully awkward

- though he kind of likes it now, he did not want his girlfriend to get to know esteban or daniel too well LMAO he didnt want to be embarrassed by anything they possibly could say

- still, even when he tried so hard to avoid it, daniel and esteban still found their ways

- estebans the kind of dad to bring up embarrassing stories about sean when he was a kid bc he KNOWS how much his son would hate it

- “y’know (y/n), im surprised seanie boy over here even managed to get a girlfriend in the first place”

- “why is that, mr. diaz?”

- “i remember he thought girls couldn’t poop until he was in middle school! i had to break the news for him—he was in denial for weeks. his voice was shaking when i told him and everything!” u can see sean pause mid-chew in the corner of his eye 😭 “and please, call me esteban”

- you just awkwardly nodded and tried to not bust out laughing. sean notices and kicks u under the table which makes u ACTUALLY bust out laughing

- esteban and daniel knew from there u were one to be trusted

- “i bet (y/n) doesn’t poop” daniel randomly said when u left that night. seans immediately swiveled his head around 😭

- just like with lyla, daniel seemed to have a crush on u as well. the only difference is that sean tries to shut it down REALLY quick.

- “she shits all the time. sometimes i wipe her ass for her bc she shits so much”

- daniel’s “eww…” is like music to his ears

- u always playfully punch him when he does this in front of u and ask why he makes u look bad in front of him

- sean never admits its bc hes jealous of a little kid 😭 he just changes the subject and kisses u bc he thinks hes sneaky

- over the summer he randomly got a buzz and didnt say anything to anybody

- he just opened his front door standing there bald as if nothing happened and ur eyes wld just kind of widen

- u wld eventually tell him it looks good tho bc it DOES he pulls it off so well

- that summer u wld always randomly start feeling his head because the texture is so interesting

- it got to the point where hed just sit on the floor in front of wherever u were so ud get to feel his freshly mowed head

- he always ends up dozing off bc its so comforting and u wld feel his head pressed on ur inner leg.

- u also get the privilege of cutting/buzzing his hair 😋

- sean doesnt trust himself so u guys sit for 40 mins watching a brad mondo video before u start going ape on his hair

- he gets kind of nervous when u get close to his face and does that thing where u switch between a persons right eye and left eye while smiling awkwardly 😭

- surprisingly it turns out good!

- i feel like ud be super nit-picky on ur work, thinking its total ass. he wld just say its perfect over and over again

- he always stares at any reflective surface and smiles like a dork in front of it. even if u did do a shit job, he probably wouldnt notice or care all that much bc he loves blindly ❤️

im on winter break so i get to be cringe and free for endless hours thank u to like the 3 other people who also like sean diaz. u r all real ones

#life is strange 2 #sean diaz x reader #sean diaz #daniel diaz #sean diaz hcs

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lauvgoods · 8 months

Text

head over heels ︱ jj maybank

SUMMARY : jj makes it his mission to find out how you feel

WORD COUNT : 851

GENRE : fluff

WARNINGS : none

𐙚₊˚⊹ 🦢 you’ll forever deny it, but it’s clear to anyone who has ever seen the two of you that jj maybank is your kryptonite.

even before you realized you liked him, he would be the first to make you crack a smile, rolling your eyes at how absolutely stupid he was being. he knew how absolutely stupid he was being, but if it got you to laugh, he’d do anything. there was just something about those big blue eyes of his and that dumb, dumb grin that would chip away at your annoyed exterior, and you hated it.

for jj, on the other hand, he had already been planning out in the back of his mind a thousand ways to ask you out if he could just get a foolproof sign of you liking him.

it takes a little over three months in for you to realize how much you’re genuinely falling for him and, as you’ve told yourself, how could you not? lots of people go on rants about how much the person they like is different from everyone else, but with jj it’s undeniably true. this boy, oh this boy, shows more interest in you as a person than anyone you’ve ever met, friend or otherwise. he knows how to poke and prod at you without crossing any lines, which you find odd since he isn’t exactly known for having the best verbal filter.

It’s like he somehow keeps track of everything he can find out just to surprise you out of nowhere with just how much he seems to remember (yet somehow can’t keep track of the date). the book you talked about wanting to read three weeks ago? “you ever get to that? talked about it nonstop for half an hour, how ‘m i supposed to forget that?” that one song you’ve randomly mumbled the lyrics to while cleaning? “yeah, looked it up ‘n it seemed pretty catchy.” even down to what you talked about wanting for your birthday months in advance. this boy makes it his mission to know every single little thing he can about you. he totally doesn’t put it all down in his notes app to come back to later on.

the point is, jj’s never seemed to be a romantic, and maybe at first he’d thought of you as a challenge. a mission. a puzzle to work out. and damn if he’s not determined. there hadn’t been a sign that you were interested when he would start calling you all these little nicknames in a hope to get even the smallest reaction out of you, though it’s clear he doesn’t know about the silent screaming WHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCK looping in your head every time he calls you “baby” with, again, that stupid smirk of his. as far as he knows, it just makes you get this weird look on your face and you freeze up before pretending like it never happened.

it’s one night when he’s going on and on (and on) about this after a few drinks with john b. where his best friend just starts looking at him with the most deadpan look on his face, like he’s an absolute idiot. which, after he realizes, he can’t help but agree with, since he’d never thought of your lack of reaction as a reaction. thinking back, he doesn’t know how he didn’t see it sooner, seeing as the guys you usually rant angrily about to him later on for even thinking they’d had a chance. he was the one you always went to even though kiara would probably have been more than happy to agree with you on every bit of it.

the next time he calls you princess, he doesn’t let it go. he doesn’t go along with you trying to switch up the conversation, doesn’t even have that smirk this time that’s always made you think he was just being, well, jj. he just looks at you with a look you haven’t really noticed before, probably because you’ve been a little too in your head to pick up on it. that, and he mostly saves it for when you aren’t looking, when he can really take you in for everything you are.

it’s that look, that deep gaze that makes you feel like he’s staring into your soul and like you’re the most incredible thing he’s ever laid eyes on, that finally gets the reaction out of you. the one he’s been hoping for. the moment your cheeks start to go warm, start to turn the slightest shade darker, is when he breaks out into the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. you’re so caught up in it that you haven’t even noticed how close he is, how close you’re getting to him.

but it’s when he whispers in what’s probably the softest tone you’ve ever heard, asking if he can kiss you, and you’re nodding before you can even realize what’s happening because your heart is suddenly pounding and you can barely focus with how your stomach is doing backflips, that you truly realize how head over heels you are for him. 🕯️⋆˙ᝰ.ᐟ

#𓏲 ˖. ♡̷̸ willow writes .ᐟ #ೀ ⊹ lauvgoods 🐻ིྀ #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #outer banks #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank x you #jj outer banks

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musicforastylesrestaurant · 1 year

Text

I’m Still Standing.

masterlist || ask me anything <3

author's note - this concept came into my head really randomly and it’s the most angsty thing i’ve ever written on this account, so i hope it’s good for you all!!

please understand that i’m not trying to portray harry’s fans as people who would laugh about scars, i made this up so it would fit the outlook for the story.

word count - 6.8k

in which, you and harry first met when you auditioned to be a member of his love band, since then, your relationship has only just got better, friends turned to best friends and best friends slowly morphed into lovers. it was definitely love at first sight. but in december of 2022, you were the victim of an accidental road injury, you were hit by a car. it took a long time for you to recover, your fiance tried to cancel the shows so that he could care for you but you didn't want him to miss anything, so whilst he toured oceania and asia, you stayed home. june, 2023 was when you thought you were ready to appear on stage again, but that all takes a turn for the worst when some fans make some nasty remarks, but harry's quick to remind you, that you're still standing better than you ever did.

trigger warnings - mentions of panic attacks and car accidents, mentions of scars and hospital terms, mentions of mental health and body dysmorphia.

You stand backstage, your fingers nervously strumming the strings of your guitar, trying to get it into tune. This audition for Harry Styles' tour band feels like the culmination of all your hard work and dedication.

The stakes are high, and the nerves threaten to consume you.

You didn’t really know what you were doing there, your mother had recorded you playing your guitar in front of your dog Monty and had posted it on her facebook, loads of people saw it and that was when you got an email from Columbia Records requesting that you come in for an audition, apparently Mr. Styles was looking for someone to join his band for his 2018, Live On Tour, tour.

To say you were nervous would definitely be an understatement, your hands were shaking and you didn’t really know how to stop them from doing it.

Just as doubt starts to creep in, the sound of the door creaking open catches your attention.

Your eyes go wide when you turn around and there he is, Harry Styles himself, leaning casually against the doorframe with that captivating smile on his face.

He was wearing a black loose fitted shirt, with flamingos adorned over the material, the buttons not fully done up so you could see the tips of his swallow tattoos peaking through, his legs were fitted with a pair of beige trousers and some yellow loafers attached to his feet.

He looked good.

"Hey there," he says in his velvety voice, his eyes twinkling with warmth. "You must be the talented guitarist I've been hearing so much about."

For some reason, your breath caught in your throat, resulting in you losing the ability to respond back to him.

Your heart skips a beat, and you struggle to find your voice. "Uh, yeah, that's me. I'm a big fan, by the way."

Way to embarrass yourself, (Y/N).

Harry chuckles, his laughter like music to your ears. "Well, I'm flattered. But remember, I'm just a guy with a few decent songs. No need to be nervous."

A few decent songs, he definitely needed to be humbled. His songs were like going to space, beautiful and rare, there was hardly any music like his nowadays.

His words instantly put you at ease, a wave of relief washing over you. You offer a shy smile and respond, "Thanks, Mr. Styles. I needed that."

He steps closer, his eyes fixated on your guitar. "Mind if I take a look?"

Harry Styles wanted to hold your guitar.

Harry Styles, heartthrob, wanted to hold your guitar, how could you ever say not to that.

Control yourself.

You nod and hand him the instrument, your fingers lightly brushing against his. Call it cliche, but a jolt of electricity shoots through you, and you can't help but blush.

Harry strums a few chords, effortlessly coaxing a beautiful melody from the strings.

"Sounds fantastic," Harry remarks, returning the guitar to your waiting hands. "I think you're going to fit right in."

Your confidence begins to soar as Harry's charm wraps around you like a warm embrace. The audition becomes less daunting with every word he speaks, his encouragement laced with playful banter.

"So, do you always have this effect on musicians?" you tease, a twinkle in your eye.

Harry smirks, leaning in closer. "Only the ones who make my heart skip a beat."

Your breath once again caught, you made his heart skip a beat?

His words catch you off guard, and your cheeks flush with a mix of surprise and excitement. You try to maintain your composure, but deep down, you can't deny the flutter of anticipation building within you.

He was really good looking.

You didn’t even know that you were auditioning until the audition progressed, your fingers gliding effortlessly across the strings, the music resonating with every fiber of your being. Harry's presence fuels your performance, his voice blending seamlessly with your guitar, creating a harmonious masterpiece. It's as if you've been playing together for years.

Maybe that was how it was supposed to be.

In between your audition, Harry flashes you a sly grin and quips, "You know, if you keep playing like that, I might just fall head over heels for you."

You blushed once again.

Your heart skips a beat, and you laugh nervously, attempting to hide the blush that creeps up your neck. "I think I'd be okay with that."

Did you really just say that?

The air in the room crackles with a charged energy, and you find yourself lost in a dance of music and flirtation. Each note you play is a secret message, a longing that speaks louder than words. And in Harry's eyes, you catch glimpses of a shared desire.

By the time you reach the final chords, the room erupts in applause. Harry rises from his seat, his eyes never leaving yours.

"You were incredible," he says, his voice filled with genuine admiration. "I'd love for you to join the tour."

I’m sorry, what?!

You can hardly believe your ears. The moment you've been dreaming of is here. With a wide smile, you respond, "I'd be honored, Mr. Styles."

He reaches out, his hand finding yours, and pulls you into a warm embrace. As his arms encircle you, you can't help but notice the racing of your heart and the way his touch sends a surge of electricity through your veins. The world around you fades into the background, and all that exists in this moment is the two of you, entangled in a moment of undeniable connection.

Harry's voice, barely above a whisper, caresses your ear. "Welcome to the band, love."

You lean back slightly, looking into his eyes, a mixture of excitement and uncertainty swirling within you. The unspoken tension between you is palpable, and you find yourself wondering if Harry feels the same magnetic pull that you do.

Maybe you were just imagining it.

As you break from the embrace, a mischievous smile tugs at the corners of Harry's lips. "I must admit, there's a part of me that's relieved you're joining the band. I wouldn't want to miss out on the opportunity to get to know you better."

Your heart skips a beat for about the millionth time that day, the words hanging in the air, heavy with unspoken possibilities. A playful glint dances in his eyes, and you find yourself being drawn closer to him, your bodies now only inches apart.

"Getting to know you better sounds like a delightful prospect," you reply, your voice laced with a mixture of anticipation and curiosity.

Harry leans in, his voice a seductive murmur. "Maybe we could grab a drink after rehearsal? I'd love to hear more about the person behind that incredible talent."

A rush of warmth floods through you, and you nod eagerly. "That sounds perfect."

That was just over three months ago.

So far, you were rehearsing for his first tour as a solo member and things had been going great. You had met Sarah, Mitch, Clare and Adam five days after your audition and instantly got along with the two of them, calling them your best friends within two weeks of knowing them.

As for Harry, things were definitely starting to get better with the two of you. If you seemed to be having a bad day, he would find a way to put a smile on your face. He was cute like that.

As you join the band and embark on rehearsals, Harry's presence continues to fill you with a sense of comfort and confidence. His playful banter and infectious laughter become the soundtrack to your journey together.

During breaks, you steal stolen glances, your eyes locking and holding for longer than necessary. The air brims with unspoken tension, each encounter tinged with the promise of something more.

One evening, after an intense rehearsal, Harry takes you aside, his eyes filled with a mix of anticipation and vulnerability.

"I've been thinking about us, you know," he admits, his voice filled with honesty. "There's something between us, something I can't ignore."

You weren’t sure you could ignore it for much longer either.

Your heart pounds in your chest, your own feelings echoing his words. "I feel it too, Harry. It's like we've found a connection that's hard to put into words."

He steps closer, his hand reaching up to gently brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear. "Would it be too forward of me to say that I'm falling for you? That being around you makes everything feel right?"

No…never.

A smile tugs at your lips, your heart soaring with newfound courage. "It wouldn't be too forward at all, Harry. I'm falling for you too."

In that moment, the world around you fades away once again. It's just the two of you, standing in the quiet embrace of a shared revelation. And as your lips meet in a tender, passionate kiss, you know that this journey—this tour with Harry Styles—will be more than just a musical experience. It will be a love story for the ages, where the strings of your guitar intertwine with the strings of your hearts, creating a melody that will resonate long after the final notes have faded.

You had finally found the one.

Five years.

Five years you had been in a relationship with Harry and during those five years, the relationship between the two of you had done nothing but flourish.

On your anniversary in 2020, he proposed to you. He got down on one knee in your shared London house and there was no doubt that you were going to say yes.

You adored the man with every fiber of your body.

You find yourself sitting on the cosy couch in your shared hotel in Werchter, Belgium, a gentle warmth filling the room. Your fingers trace absent-minded patterns on the fabric of the blanket thrown over your lower body, keeping you warm as you let your mind wander, reflecting on the journey that has brought you to this very moment.

You cautiously cross the road, anticipation pulsating through your veins as you head towards the café to meet your boyfriend. The air is crisp, carrying a hint of autumn's arrival, and the city buzzes with its usual energy.

The road was safe when you crossed, until it wasn’t.

In the midst of the bustling crowd, a danger lurks, unseen and unforgiving.

A drunk driver, his senses impaired, careens towards you without warning. Time slows down, and your instincts kick in, desperately trying to avoid the inevitable collision.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you attempt to evade the oncoming car, but the impact is inevitable.

Pain sears through your body as you're flung through the air, crashing onto the unforgiving pavement. The world spins, and darkness descends upon you like a heavy curtain.

Inside the café, Harry sits near the window, a cup of untouched coffee growing cold before him. As he waits, a knot of anxiety tightens in his stomach. Suddenly, the tranquility of the moment shatters, and his gaze is drawn to the horrific scene unfolding just outside.

That’s when he sees you.

Time slows to a torturous crawl as Harry's eyes widen in disbelief. He watches in helpless horror as the car strikes you, his heart pounding in his ears. With a mix of disbelief and raw emotion, he stumbles out of his seat, knocking over his chair in the process.

His voice trembles as he shouts your name, the desperation and anguish evident in his cries. "No! Oh God, no! Somebody help! Call an ambulance!"

Passersby freeze, their eyes widening in shock as they witness the aftermath of the accident. Harry's voice breaks, the weight of the situation crashing down upon him. He drops to his knees beside your motionless body, trembling fingers reaching out to touch your cold skin.

Tears blur his vision as he cradles your face, his voice choked with pain. "Please, wake up…(Y/N)... Don't leave me like this, m’angel… I can't lose you."

Amidst the chaos, someone steps forward, dialing emergency services and relaying the dire situation. The sound of sirens grows closer, a faint glimmer of hope in the midst of despair.

As paramedics arrive on the scene, Harry is forced to release his grip on you, not without giving a fight, another paramedic holds him back, running soft circles onto him as his hands shake uncontrollably. He watches, a mix of fear and agony etched on his face, as they work to stabilize your fragile form.

His heart shatters with each passing second that lacks a sign of life. He whispers desperate prayers into the void, his voice trembling with emotion. "Please, don't take her away from me...I can’t…I can't live without….her…"

Finally, a flicker of movement, a gasp of breath escapes your lips. Harry's eyes widen in disbelief, his heart surging with a renewed sense of hope. "She's breathing…she’s breathing, you saw that…right?!" he exclaims, his voice filled with equal parts relief and disbelief.

As the paramedics prepare to transport you to the hospital, Harry is forced to release his grip on your hand, his gaze filled with a mix of longing and determination.

"I'll be right behind you," he promises, his voice steady with resolve.

Alone in the hospital waiting room, Harry paces anxiously, his mind clouded with thoughts of what could have been lost. He replays the accident over and over in his mind, tormented by the what-ifs that haunt him.

He had been waiting just over an hour and half for someone to come and talk to him. Give him an update on what was going on with you.

Hours stretch into an agonizing eternity as he clings to the faint hope that you will recover. The sterile hospital walls offer no solace, and he finds himself retracing the steps that led you both to this point, questioning the fragility of life and the unpredictable turns it can take.

Finally, a weary doctor emerges from behind the double doors, his expression a mix of weariness and cautious optimism. Harry's heart lurches in his chest as he rushes towards the doctor, desperation etched on his face.

"How is she? Is she going to be alright?" Harry's voice trembles with a mix of fear and longing, his hands clenched into tight fists.

You needed to be okay.

The doctor meets Harry's gaze, his eyes filled with compassion. "She's stable now. It was a close call, but she's a fighter. She sustained some serious injuries, but we're doing everything we can to help her recover."

Relief washes over Harry, but it's quickly replaced by a wave of guilt. He clenches his jaw, his voice strained. "I should have been there to protect her. I should have... I should have done something."

The doctor places a reassuring hand on Harry's shoulder. "Accidents happen, and it's not your fault. What matters now is supporting her through her recovery."

Harry nods, a mixture of determination and guilt playing across his features. "I'll be there for her. Every step of the way."

Days blend into nights as Harry sits vigil by your bedside, his fingers tracing the contours of your hand, desperate for any sign of improvement. The beeping machines and sterile hospital environment become your temporary reality, a stark contrast to the vibrant world you both once knew.

He called his mother about what happened to you and she and Gemma took the first flight to Los Angeles, so they could support not only you but him as well.

They forced him to go home and change his clothes, promising to call him if there was any news.

Sarah, Clare, Mitch, Adam and Jeff and Glenne were by your bedside as much as they could be but with there busy schedules it made it harder for them to be there.

In moments of silence, Harry finds solace in sharing memories of your love and laughter, his voice filled with a mix of tenderness and longing. He whispers words of encouragement and love, as if the sheer force of his devotion could bring you back to consciousness.

And then, one day, a miracle unfolds. Your eyes flutter open, and for a moment, confusion clouds your gaze. But as you take in the sight of Harry, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, recognition dawns, and a feeble smile graces your lips.

"I'm here, love. You're going to be okay," Harry whispers, his voice laced with relief. He brushes a gentle hand against your cheek, his touch a testament to his unwavering love and devotion.

A month into your recovery, was when Harry finally realised just how bad the whole ordeal was affecting you.

Harry arrives home from grocery shopping, his arms laden with bags filled with fresh produce and essentials. He enters the bedroom, expecting to find you in your usual spot, engrossed in a book or working on a project. But what he sees stops him in his tracks.

There you sit, in your wheelchair, wearing nothing but a sports bra and shorts. Your eyes are fixed on the floor-length mirror before you, your gaze filled with a mix of vulnerability and frustration. Harry's heart skips a beat at the sight, his instinct to protect and comfort you kicking into high gear.

His eyes never leave your form in the mirror. With a deep breath, he approaches you, his voice soft and filled with love. "Hey, beautiful. What's on your mind?"

You startle at his voice, a mixture of embarrassment and sadness crossing your face. "Harry, look at me. I can't stand on my own. I feel so... broken."

You were struggling, really fucking struggling.

Harry kneels down beside you, his hands gently grasping yours. His gaze meets yours in the mirror, his voice filled with determination. "But look at everything you've overcome. You've faced unimaginable challenges, and yet here you are, still standing."

Tears well up in your eyes, a mixture of gratitude and self-doubt coursing through your veins. "I don't always feel strong, Harry. Sometimes, I feel defeated by my own body."

Harry's thumb strokes the back of your hand in a soothing motion. "I know it's not easy, and it's okay to have moments of doubt. But remember, you're not defined by what you can or can't do physically. Your strength shines through in countless other ways."

His words resonate within you, a glimmer of hope flickering in the depths of your soul. You take a deep breath, allowing his words to wash over you. "I guess... I just miss feeling independent, like I used to."

Harry's eyes never leave yours, his voice filled with unwavering support. "You are independent, love. It may look different now, but that doesn't diminish your spirit or your worth. Remember the chorus of that song by Elton John? 'I'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah.'"

That was the song that was getting you through the hard days, the lyrics of the song reminded you that even though you had been through hell and back, you were in fact still standing.

A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips as the lyrics echo in your mind. You meet Harry's gaze, a flicker of determination in your eyes. "You're right. I'm still standing, and I won't let this define me."

Harry's face lights up with pride, his voice brimming with admiration. "That's my girl. Together, we'll face anything that comes our way. We'll rewrite the rules and show the world just how resilient we are."

You lean into him, finding solace in his embrace. In his arms, you feel a renewed sense of strength and acceptance. With Harry by your side, you know that you'll navigate this journey together, overcoming obstacles with unwavering love and unwavering determination.

As the echoes of Elton John's lyrics fade into the air, you realize that standing on your own two feet is not just about physical ability. It's about resilience, love, and the unwavering spirit that resides within. And together, you and Harry are an unbreakable force, ready to face any challenge that comes your way, still standing.

Memories of the accident resurface, the one that left you with a broken leg, a few broken ribs, and scars that tell a story of resilience and strength. The pain you endured during those days in the hospital, the grueling physical therapy sessions, and the long road to recovery—all of it has shaped you into the person you are today.

The accident left you with a lot of scars and sometimes, you didn’t like how they were on your body, you didn’t want them, you shouldn’t have had them in the first place had it not been for the drunk driver that had struck you.

One time, Harry had caught you sitting in the wheelchair the hospital provided you with and was sitting in front of the floor length mirror, eyes wet and feeling disgusted with the way your body now looked.

Lost in your thoughts, you feel a comforting presence beside you. Your fiancé, the person who has been your rock throughout this entire journey, sits down, his eyes filled with love and concern.

"What's on your mind, love?" Harry asks gently, their voice laced with a mixture of tenderness and curiosity.

You take a deep breath, gathering the courage to share your thoughts. "I've been thinking a lot about everything that's happened, about how far I've come since the accident. The fear I had of losing my ability to play the guitar, to perform on stage, has slowly transformed into a burning desire to reclaim what I love."

Your fiancé listens intently, their hand finding yours, providing a comforting anchor in the depths of your vulnerability.

"I think I'm ready," you continue, your voice filled with determination. "I'm ready to join you back on tour as your guitarist. I want to step back into the spotlight, to feel the exhilaration of playing for a crowd again."

A flicker of excitement dances in their eyes as they take in your words. "Are you sure, love? I mean, I've seen your strength and resilience, but I want to make sure you're ready for the demands and challenges of touring."

You had thought it over. So many times, you kissed touring with him and not being on stage with him in what felt like forever, you just wanted a little bit or norm back in your life.

You smile, your gaze meeting theirs. "I am sure. The accident made me realize that life is too short to let fear hold me back. I want to embrace every opportunity that comes my way, and being on stage with you is the greatest opportunity of all."

Your fiancé's face lights up with a mixture of pride and love. "I've always believed in you, in your talent and your unwavering spirit. I can't express how happy I am to hear you say this."

Their words fill your heart with warmth, and you lean in, your forehead resting against theirs. "I couldn't have done it without your love and support. You've been my rock, my inspiration. And now, it's time for us to conquer the stage together."

24th June, 2023.

The day you would be back on stage, and reclaiming your spot next to Mitch as Harry’s guitarists.

As you stand before the mirror in the dressing room, your heart pounds with a mix of excitement and apprehension. It's been seven long months since the accident, the incident that left you scarred physically and emotionally. But tonight, you're stepping back onto the stage alongside your fiancé, the incredibly talented man that held your heart captive.

You peel off your clothes, revealing the remnants of the past—a tapestry of scars that litter your body. Each mark tells a story, a chapter of pain and healing. Your fingers trace the scars delicately, memories flooding back with each touch.

Your fingertips glide over the long, jagged scar on your stomach, a reminder of the surgery that saved your life. It stretches across your abdomen, a visible testament to the fragility of existence. You can still recall the sterile scent of the hospital, the sensation of being under anaesthesia, and the sound of the surgeon's voice assuring you that everything would be alright.

As you trace the path of the scar, tears well up in your eyes. The emotions overwhelm you—the fear, the vulnerability, the gratitude for being alive. You hastily wipe away the tears, refusing to let them consume you. You don't want Harry to see you like this—fragile, still grappling with the remnants of the accident.

Taking a deep breath, you collect yourself and begin to change into the performance outfit meticulously chosen for tonight's show. With each article of clothing, you shed the emotional weight and don a cloak of resilience.

But it's not just the scar on your stomach that serves as a reminder. Your fingers move upward, skimming over the faint marks on your chest. They are the remnants of broken ribs, the physical proof of the impact that threatened to shatter your entire being.

As your fingers dance across the scars, a mixture of emotions swirls within you. You remember the excruciating pain that radiated through your chest, making each breath a struggle. The nights spent gasping for air, wondering if you would ever be able to play guitar again. And yet, here you are, on the verge of reclaiming that stage.

When you finally emerge from the room, you plaster a smile on your face, determined to project confidence. Harry turns to you, his eyes lighting up as he takes in your appearance.

"Hey, love, you look absolutely stunning!" he exclaims, wrapping you in a warm embrace.

You glanced down at what you were wearing, nodding softly. You had decided to wear short sleeves tonight due to the humidity of the Belgian air and had gotten Elin and Madi to cover up the scars on your arms with foundation, if you had to get through this performance tonight without a hitch, you needed to make sure the fans didn’t see the state of your arms.

It wasn’t second nature to the fans and the world that you had been the victim of a car accident, paps had eaten the story up and it wasn’t long before the world were all feeling sorry for you, and telling you ‘get well soon.’

It wasn’t second nature that the fans knew you and Harry were in a relationship. They were happy for him, some fans weren’t, some were bitter but the majority were kind hearted.

The fans knew not to expect you to be on stage for a while, they liked your replacement , you just hoped they didn’t resent you for reclaiming your spot.

"Thank you," you reply, your voice tinged with a hint of nerves. "I'm so excited to perform with you again, sweet boy. It's been too long."

Harry nods, his eyes filled with adoration. "I've missed having you by my side on stage, baby. Tonight is going to be incredible."

When you first walked onto the stage with the rest of the band, the crowd cheered, happy to see you back.

You wanted to perform at Wembley when he was there but the 90,000 people just made your nerves too hard to get rid of.

It had gotten to the part of the show where Harry introduced the band helping him perform tonight.

The crowd erupts into thunderous applause, their cheers blending with the pounding of your heart.

Harry steps forward, his charm radiating as he takes hold of the microphone. "Thank you all so much!" he exclaims, his voice filled with genuine gratitude. "Tonight has been incredible, and I want to take a moment to introduce you to the extraordinary people who make this show possible."

The spotlight shifts, illuminating each member of the band in turn as Harry introduces them, acknowledging their talent and contributions. The crowd roars with approval, showing their love and appreciation for the musicians who have taken them on this unforgettable journey.

"And last, but certainly not least," Harry says, his eyes glimmering with affection as he turns toward you, "I want to welcome someone very special back to the stage tonight. Please give a round of applause for my incredible fiancée, who's been through so much and is now here, shining brighter than ever. Welcome back, (Y/N)!"

The crowd erupts into thunderous applause once again, their cheers echoing throughout the venue. The sound washes over you, filling you with warmth and a renewed sense of purpose. Harry walks over to you, his smile radiant as he presses a gentle kiss to your cheek.

"I'm so proud of you, love," he whispers, his voice barely audible over the roaring crowd. "You're incredible."

Touched by his words and the overwhelming support of the crowd, you turn to face the audience, a beaming smile adorning your face. You raise a hand in gratitude, acknowledging their cheers and the immense love they've shown.

The performance took a turn for the worst when Harry was performing Matilda.

As Harry takes the centre stage, his voice resonates through the venue, captivating the crowd with his heartfelt rendition of "Matilda." You stand beside him, shoulder to shoulder with Sarah, Madi, and Elin, proud to be part of his performance.

However, as the heat intensifies under the stage lights, the foundation covering the scars on your arms begins to melt away, slowly revealing the marks beneath. Unbeknownst to you, a group of fans standing in the front row notices the scars and begins to snicker and laugh, their insensitivity cutting through the air.

Caught off guard, you glance down at your arms, now exposed for all to see. Shame washes over you, accompanied by a deep sense of vulnerability. The laughter echoes in your ears, a cruel reminder of the pain you carry on a daily basis.

The song concludes, and as you go to step back, picking up your guitar, tears well up in your eyes. The weight of their laughter presses heavily on your heart, and without a second thought, you bolt offstage, seeking solace in the privacy of the dressing room.

You stumble through the corridors, your vision blurred by tears. Jeff, who was standing on the side stage, attempted to touch your arm and see if he could do anything but you bolted straight past him, too upset to even attempt to speak.

Finally, you reach the dressing room, the door becoming a barrier between you and the outside world. You lock it behind you, the sound of the latch giving you a brief sense of security.

Collapsing onto a chaise lounge, sobs wrack your body as you struggle to catch your breath. The pain of their laughter reverberates through you, and the scars that you've worked so hard to embrace now feel like glaring flaws. In this moment of despair, you feel utterly alone.

Through your tear-stained face, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. The scars etched on your arms serve as a painful reminder of the journey you've travelled—a journey that has tested your resilience and strength. But at this moment, they seem to mock you, amplifying your vulnerability.

You don’t know how long you were sitting there.

But the panic that has gripped your chest refuses to subside, and the air feels thin, suffocating.

Amidst your distress, you hear Harry's desperate pleas from the other side of the door, his voice filled with concern and love.

"Please, love," he implores, his voice cracking. "Let me in. I need to be with you. I can't bear to see you like this."

You find it difficult to think, your mind clouded by fear and self-doubt. Harry's words echo in your ears, but a part of you hesitates, questioning whether you should expose him to your vulnerable state.

Yet, Harry persists, his voice growing more desperate with each passing moment.

"Please, just open the door," he pleads again. "I'll do anything to make this better. Just let me in."

As the minutes stretch on, your panic intensifies. The room feels smaller, the air heavier, and you begin to scratch at your arms, hoping to erase the scars that have become a constant reminder of your pain. The act is born out of frustration, a desperate attempt to regain control over your emotions.

But the more you scratch, the more the scars stand out against your skin, marking the battles you've fought and the strength you've shown. The pain intensifies, both physical and emotional, and your nails dig deeper into your flesh.

Finally, Harry's voice breaks through the chaos in your mind.

"Love, please," he pleads once more. "I can't stand being separated from you like this. Please, open the door."

His words penetrate your fog of panic, stirring a flicker of clarity within you. You realise that shutting him out would only deepen the isolation you feel. With trembling hands, you reach for the lock, slowly turning it until the latch clicks, allowing Harry to step into the room.

Harry rushes toward you, his eyes wide with worry, and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. Your breath hitches as he embraces you, his warmth and steady heartbeat serving as an anchor amidst the storm raging inside you.

But as the panic continues to surge, your scratching becomes more frantic, fueled by the desperation to rid yourself of the scars. Harry's eyes widen as he notices your self-destructive actions, his heart aching at the sight.

"Stop, love," Harry pleads, his voice filled with a mix of concern and determination. He gently grasps your hands, restraining them from causing further harm. "Please, you don't need to do this. Your scars don't define you. They are a testament to your strength and resilience."

Tears stream down your face as you struggle to find your voice amidst the overwhelming emotions.

"Harry," you manage to whisper, your voice trembling, "the fans... they laughed at me. I feel so exposed, so broken."

Harry's hold on you tightens, his voice filled with unwavering support. "Love, never forget what Elton John said in 'I'm Still Standing.' 'I'm still standing after all this time.' We've faced adversity together, and we've triumphed. We won't let their laughter dim your light."

His words wash over you, reminding you of the battles you've fought, the hurdles you've overcome. In that moment, you realise that their laughter, though painful, is a reflection of their ignorance, not your worth.

As Harry's arms enfold you, a newfound resolve begins to take hold. You slowly cease

Your frantic scratching, your nails no longer leaving trails of desperation on your skin. Instead, you allow Harry's touch to calm you, to remind you that you are not alone in this struggle.

As you gradually regain control of your breath, Harry's soothing voice fills the room once again. "You are beautiful, inside and out," he assures you. "Those scars are a part of your journey, a testament to the strength that resides within you. They are not something to be ashamed of."

With each word, the weight of the fans' laughter begins to lift, replaced by a growing sense of self-acceptance. You realise that their cruel taunts are not a reflection of your worth but a testament to their own insecurities and ignorance.

In that moment of revelation, you look into Harry's eyes, finding solace in his unwavering gaze. He pulls you closer, his embrace a shield against the world's judgments.

"You are loved," he whispers, his voice filled with conviction. "By me, by your fans, by all those who see the incredible person you are."

After the storm of emotions, Harry guides you to rest your head on his lap, finding comfort in his presence. He senses your need for warmth and reaches for a soft blanket that carries his familiar scent. As he carefully drapes it over your body, you feel an instant sense of security, as if his love and protection have enveloped you.

Harry pulls out his phone, his brow furrowed with concern. He dials Jeff's number, his voice steady but laced with an undertone of worry.

"Jeff, mate," he begins, "I need to talk to you. We can't continue with the show right now. (Y/N)s head is in a bad place, and she needs me here with her."

You hated letting the fans down as much as Harry did, but right now, you needed him, you needed him more than anything right now.

As he speaks, his free hand finds its way to your hair, his fingers gently running through the strands. The soothing motion sends waves of comfort through your body, easing the tension that had gripped your soul.

There's a brief pause as Jeff responds on the other end of the line. Harry's voice grows firmer as he continues, his protective instincts kicking in. "I know, Jeff, but she's my priority. We can't push her right now. She needs time and space to heal. I hope you understand."

You feel the weight of his determination, his unwavering commitment to your well-being. His words, spoken with conviction, serve as a reminder that you are not alone in this battle.

As the conversation with Jeff continues, your body begins to relax, the exhaustion of the emotional rollercoaster setting in. Harry's touch and his voice lull you into a state of tranquillity, your eyelids growing heavy.

You listen to Harry's voice, a mix of concern and reassurance, as he explains the situation to Jeff. The sound of his voice becomes a soothing melody, guiding you towards much-needed rest. The world outside the dressing room fades away, and in that moment, it's just you and Harry, wrapped in a cocoon of love and understanding.

With Harry's presence anchoring you,drifting you into a peaceful slumber, your mind dances on the edge of consciousness. Harry's comforting presence lingers, filling the room with a sense of love and security. In the hazy realm between wakefulness and dreams, you hear his soft voice whispering.

"I love you," Harry murmurs, his words like a gentle caress against your skin. His declaration of love resonates deep within your heart, a reminder that you are cherished and adored.

In the quiet of the room, Harry's fingers trace the scars on your forearm from when you hit the ground and the skin collided with the concrete of the floor, resulting in a skin graft on both arms, with delicate reverence.

His touch is tender, his love evident in every stroke. With each pass of his fingers, you feel a mixture of vulnerability and acceptance, knowing that he sees beyond the scars and embraces every part of you.

Touched by his gesture, you shift slightly, gazing up at him through half-closed eyes. The love shining in his eyes mirrors the love you hold in your heart.

A smile tugs at the corners of your lips, and in a soft voice filled with gratitude, you whisper, "I love you too, Harry."

His lips curve into a gentle smile, and without hesitation, he leans down to press a loving kiss against the scars on your arms. The warmth of his lips against your skin sends a rush of emotions cascading through your veins—a blend of love, acceptance, and healing.

In that tender moment, you realise that Harry's love is not conditional. It extends far beyond the physical, embracing the entirety of who you are—scars and all. With his unwavering support, you find the strength to embrace your own journey, to let go of the pain inflicted by others' judgement.

As Harry's lips leave a trail of love and reassurance upon your scars, you feel a renewed sense of self-acceptance. You understand that love has the power to heal, to transcend the wounds of the past. With each kiss, Harry affirms that you are worthy of love and that your scars are a testament to your strength.

In the warmth of his embrace, you feel a newfound sense of peace settle within you. The doubts and insecurities that plagued your mind are replaced with a quiet confidence, knowing that you are loved unconditionally.

One thing was for sure though.

Just like the legend that is Elton John Said:

I’m Still Standing.

In fact you were standing better than you ever had, with the support of friends and family and the one man you don’t think you could ever stop loving.

You were starting to look like a true survivor, and not so much a little kid when you got overwhelmed looking at the scars on your arms from the impact of the accident.

“I’m Still Standing…” you whispered , voice slightly scratchy.

Harry smiled, letting out a small sniffle, “— yeah you are baby…yeah you are.”

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wonuwrites · 5 months

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ot13’s reaction to “would you love me if I was a worm?” 🪱

Tbh idk what this is either but i got inspired after eating a cheesy gordita crunch and watched a bird look for food a few days ago so here ya go LMFAOOO

Warning: nothing really. blame taco bell.

also randomly putting songs on that came on for the people in case yall wanted new music to listen to <3

🪱 S. Coups: (Song Note: this song is so Seungcheol coded and I can't even tell you why lmaoooo)

"A worm?" "A worm," you said before taking a sip of your beverage. One of your favorite past times was asking Seungcheol stupid questions you'd see on tiktok and see his reaction. He always entertained them and you were thankful because both of you knew the answers meant NOTHING and that your relationship was solid. Or so you thought. "Well, if you were a worm I guess I would be a bird." "Excuse me!?" "Yeah, I'd be a bird." "Baby, birds eat worms though..." "Yeah and? Don't I do that every night anyway?" He asked while raising a cheeky eyebrow before taking a sip of his drink. You couldn't help but blush at his crude joke and hit his chest softly which caused him to laugh before pulling you close.

🪱 Jeonghan: (Song Note: im feeling nostalgic today~~ lmfaooooo)

To say you caught Jeonghan off guard is an understatement. You would be in the car with him listening to the radio in a comfortable silence when you just sprung the question on him. He half tempted to pull over and give you a genuine "what the fuck" face but instead he just scoffed and started to laugh. "Where did this question come from, (Y/N)?" He would question you. "Just answer, baby. Would you, Yoon Jeonghan, love me if I was a worm?" The use of his full name made him laugh before he just rubbed your thigh and glanced over at you. "Baby, I love you even when you act like a clown. I would love you no matter what."

🪱 Joshua: (Song Note: I got nothing but like yeehaw lmfaoooo. sorry Shua.)

Sometimes, Jisoo and you would give each other "silent treatments" when you were both play fighting and today, it was Jisoo's time to give you the treatment. Why? Well, you ate some leftovers he was thinking about for the last two hours and it killed his pride lolol. While he wasn't mad because truth be told, he was happy you remembered to eat, but still you should've known he was thinking about it because y'all were 'soulmates' or whatever. You rolled your eyes when you realized he was giving you the silent treatment as he started to make Ramen. You started to just playfully annoy him while wrapping your arms around him and just doing the yapping for both of you. He was close to cracking once you started but he finally lost it when you asked him "would you love me if I was a worm." When he didn't say yes right away, you then gave him the "silent treatment" and then it would be his turn to try to annoy you into talking to him.

🪱 Jun: (Song Note: ooo should I do a "sour" version of this? Someone tell me yes pls)

You honestly caught Jun off guard when you asked him. He would just stare at you confused before slowly nodding at you. When you laughed at his reaction it would make him even more confused. You would drop it shortly after you asked but he would think about it for awhile. Shoot, he might text some of the members for advice because well, you really stumped him hahaha. Before you both went to bed, he would roll over and whisper, "So... would you love me if I was a worm?" You would just roll your eyes before kissing him and telling him of course you would.

🪱 Hoshi: (Song Note: Stan BamBam for clear skin. This shoulda been the title imo.)

Soonyoung and you had a really goofy love life for the most part. Sure, you both had your "serious" moments but there was no questioning that you both knew how to be unserious. Today was one of those days. You both were laying on the couch together watching Spongebob. Soonyoung was mindlessly playing with your hair before you decided to hit him with such an important question for him. "Soonyoung?" "hmmm?" "Would you love me if I was a worm?" His hand would stop massaging your head for a minute while he thought about it. You fake gawked at him because he didn't answer as quick as you thought he should. Before you could scold him he would give you a smirk before wrapping his arms around you tight, "why be a worm when you can be a tigress, (y/n)? Let's be tigers forever and ever and ever." You would groan at the 'tiger agenda' but would laugh as he started kissing you all over your face.

🪱 Wonwoo: (Song Note: literally one of the most underrated songs to EVER exist.)

Wonwoo thought he would be safe from this question when it came to you. You see he had already been hit with this question from several members of the maknae line. *cough cough* Mingyu, Hansol, Seokmin, and Chan. *cough cough* so when y'all where getting ready for bed and you asked him he couldn't help but laugh which would make you so confused. He would just smile at you and find you so precious, "of course I would love you if you were a worm you lil cutie." He would give you a soft kiss before pulling you into his chest while you smiled stupidly and contently at his answer.

🪱 Woozi: (Song Note/Rant: If you are still sleeping on Ian you need to reevaluate your life because OMG.)

To be completely honest, I can see Jihoon just giving you a blank stare because his brain just went ???? he didn't know the trend and the question would break his brain. He didn't know what to say so he would just go "uhh sure?" You would fake sulk at his answer and he probably would text one of the younger members to ask for help. I can see Hansol being like "the answer is always yes!!! omg." LOL

🪱 DK: (Song Note: why do I want Seokmin to sing this to me to help me sleep at night? omg)

You would be sitting next to Seokmin on a park bench watching birds just be birds. You were both waiting for Soonyoung and his partner to meet you for a double date and were currently in a comfortable silence. That was until you asked him, "Seokminnie, would you still love me if I was a worm?" As you asked that, a bird had grabbed a worm from the ground and flew away. You both were flabbergasted at the timing and just broke down laughing together. Once you both calmed down he reminded you he'd always love you no matter the life time but for the rest of the day he would lovingly call you "bird food" as if it were a pet name which left Soonyoung and his partner hella confused lmaoooo.

🪱 Mingyu: (Song Note: Nelly will always be that girly for me <3)

One of MIngyu favorite errands to run with you was going grocery shopping. Just spending time with you while planning meals to eat with each other or grabbing snacks with his favorite snack just fueled him with so much happiness. You loved it too because when you were with him, you could turn your brain off and just be yourself. That's why Mingyu wasn't too surprised when you looked at gummy worms and deadpanned asked him, "Baby, if I was a worm would you still love me?" You couldn't see the loving smile he had on his face before he wrapped his arms around you from behind. "Of course, baby. You would be the prettiest and nicest worm to exist."

🪱 Minghao: (Song Note: ngl this might be a future song reaction thingy for my ot13 series I do.)

When you asked Minghao if he would "still love you if you were a worm" he would giggle at your question because duh. He's in this for life baby. He would tell you he would find the BESTEST dirt for you live in and would fight any birds that would try to eat you. It would honestly be just a giggle fest between the both of you.

🪱 Seungkwan: (Song Note: CLC deserved better.)

Seungkwan and you were staying in for the night and were both just hanging out while mindlessly scrolling on your phones. You then crossed a meme that reminded you of the "would you still love me if I was a worm" question. You decided now was the perfect time to make your lovable stud muffin to answer your question. Once you asked him he gave you a stank judgemental side eye before *respectfully* ignoring you. You kept scooting closer and asking him before he couldn't help but laugh and just saying "yes."

🪱 Vernon: (Song Note: When the remix is better than the original... Red Velvet wins always.)

To be real, Hansol was READY for this question. He had seen it on his fyp and knew it was only a matter of time before you would waddle over and ask him if you would still love him if you were a worm. He would be doing whatever Hansol does and just say "yes, I would love you if you were a worm." and also "yes I promise." He would find it very funny when you were pleased by his answer.

🪱 Dino: (Song Note: this song has no business being as much of a bop as it is.)

Chan could go two different ways lmao. He would either laugh at the question before saying "of course I would, but would you love ME?" Or, he would overthink it. Were you an Earthworm? A gummy worm? A pinworm that would be a pain in the ass? He just had to know. Soon you both would be ranking worms and would forget about the question hahaha.

btw just wanted yall to know how committed to writing Chan's part I was:

I forgot what they were called LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Anyways, which one was your favorite? Mine personally was Seokmin's. I feel like I've been writing so many sad things for him lately so it's been nice to write something super cute like that. <3

Hope yall enjoyed <3 if yall were worms, I would love you all :)

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megan017 · 9 months

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Don't mind me just venting, after reading some JJK x readers and it's also past 1 AM so I am questioning my life pretty much. Pretty angsty, insecure, self confidence lacking vent.

🩵Randomly recommended song🩵

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Being single since the day you were born wasn't so great. Sure, until your late teenage years you thought you might be too young to date anyone. It wouldn't be real love after all. Just the typical young love that middle and high schoolers go through. You know, those relationships which end in a short period of time. However, as proud as you were that you were never included in these things... it was saddening being surrounded by people who were either in a relationship or had one.

You wanted to feel loved, also developed attachment issues, making it harder to make a difference between liking or loving someone, but it wasn't your fault anyways. Even if this issue gave you a hard time, making you desperate to be in a relationship finally, you had a type, you had standards which you never planned giving up on, right? You wanted to be happy with someone who hit these requirements, you weren't asking for much, were you?

Then why are you telling yourself that it is fine if they are not your type at all, they hit a few things you like in someone, that must be enough too, right?

Oh...

Maybe you do ask for a lot, no? After all, who are you to have the audacity to even think of having standards? Huh? Look at yourself...

What do you have to offer?

Have you ever thought of if these kind of people would even love you back? Oh please... Do you really think you hit their standards?

Don't be so self centered, you are not the only one who thinks the way you do.

Now go and lose some weight so you would have the ideal body.

Put some make up on to hide your ugly face, or at least make something else be the center of attention when they look you in the eye.

Have you looked at your nails? They look like you have never ever taken care of them. Maybe some press ons might help that.

I hope you remember that your face isn't the only thing ugly here. What a shame, look at that hip, those thighs and breast covered in white stretch marks. You know those are permanent, right?

Uhm... look at your grades... You can try telling yourself that "those don't reflect your real knowledge", but do you really believe it? You're so stupid. You really think you would have a chance with anyone this way?

Your looks changed so much. Almost looking completely like those annoying girls.

You are one of them, aren't you?

Well, not really. Fortunately.

However, even those kind of people you dislike, your current classmates, your ex-lassmates, even your bullies, one who is also known as your toxic ex-friend, has a partner.

Maybe, just maybe...

...you are the issue.

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Don't misunderstand me, I don't have problem with people who do make up, do their nails or do anything to make themselves feel prettier. Then I was talking about the annoying girl who do these, I meant I hate their personality. Their personality is what's rotten.

LOVE Y'ALL, MWAH!

I just go, continue listening to my vent playlist while crying, no sleep needed this night.

Geto x reader hurt/comfort coming soon, where again, I will just list my insecurities but he comes to the rescue and comforts the reader<33

-Megan🩵

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yuukei-yikes · 10 months

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Long as hell text post under the cut my guys

me when i wake up and talk every day about the same shit. heart <3 i could talk for days abt jin and the misogyny he writes with. it's everywhere of course lol but out of the female characters takane's like…. the most tragic, in my opinion, because she's the only female character to have absolutely 0 backstory. yes, there's Some stuff, such as her illness, but truly takane does not have that much angst surrounding her illness. everything about her is rather about haruka. takane's moment is yuukei yesterday, but yuukei yesterday is entirely about both haruka and takane and their relationship. yes it's takane's pov, but it's ultimately still about… haruka, and how she feels about him.

back then in the fandom, pre over the dimension specifically, there was a take going around i remember pretty well. "people write haruka and takane like there's nothing more to them than being in love with each other" like the only time we'd see haruka and takane specifically (in fan content), they'd just be there to be shippy. i TOTALLY agreed with this sentiment and i always have, especially because i've always been obsessed with them as characters and i was overanalyzing every little thing (when otd came out i was over the moon bc i got so much stuff right btw. if u even care)

HOWEVER. if u think about it. pre over the dimension, with the manga having covered yuukei yesterday already and the next time takane (and haruka) appear as themselves in the manga is A LOT later in volume 10 (by that time, otd was already out) (also i'll get to takane in 2nd manga route in a second), so what we had at the time, for haruka and takane's backstory, was manga&novel yuukei yesterday and what we got from the anime. if you consider this… truly, at first the only thing to go off really was. just their relationship. that was all there was to both of them, because haruka was described from takane's pov, and everything we got from takane was how she felt for haruka. that was IT. for everything else u had to read between the lines like i was doing bc 10 years later i'd still be here talking about it teehee

of course there are also the songs. takane's songs set in time before she's ene are yuukei yesterday and of course headphone actor, one of the Best kagepro songs dont even come AT ME anyways headphone actor as a song touches THE OTHER BIG THING we were offered about takane at the time. okay, she isn't JUST in love with haruka. the other thing about takane is… she wants to SURVIVE!!!

i've talked about this LOADS of times i know (about this entire thing actually but i just like talking about also it's my blog) takane gets opening eyes because she's so determined to live. ratio + this from novel 2 headphone actor

which brings me to. ugh. second manga route. takane….would not…. KILL HERSELF…. second manga route WHY. we finally get to see Takane again in the manga and she's just so spectacularly NOT HERSELF it's crazy. takane since her INTRODUCTION is presented as "selfish" and how her want for attention from haruka or in general gets the best of her. that's ene. THAT'S ene!!! that's also why ENE stays with shintaro!!! it is FUNDAMENTAL to her character. we were given miserably little about her and in the most simplified way to put it, those things are: takane 1. is an attention whore<3 2. doesn't want to die. so tell me. how do you manage to get these 2 very simple things so incredibly WRONG in second manga route.

where in the world would takane get mad haruka got another friend. it makes NO sense!?!? bro haruka and shintaro ARE ALSO BEST FRIENDS IN THE MAIN ROUTE, where takane ACTUALLY HAS REASONS TO ACTIVELY REALLY DISLIKE SHINTARO, and she doesn't give a fuck that they're friends, why would she randomly care so much now when she has no reason to even dislike shintaro? so basically because she doesn't have ayano she gets jealous and wants haruka all to herself?? erm ok?? let's say that's true (it's not), even if she was jealous of shintaro her desire to be by haruka's side WILL be stronger, she would NEVER just turn around and leave. absolutely NOT. one of the stupidest things takane does is want haruka to look her way so bad she doesn't realize HE'S DYING ON HER. this bitch is so insanely self centered she would never in her life walk out on haruka just for having another friend. REAL takane walks in there with that stupid basket and be like Everyone look at me NOW<3

ok. first trait: attention whore: second manga route FAILS. second trait: doesn't want to die. wonder what second manga route will do. (looks into the camera) takane kills herself in second manga route.

dude you're crazy. you literally get EVERYTHING WRONG. it pisses me off. and not only does she kill herself but she does it because haruka DIED!?!?!?!?!? OH MY GOD. i hate it it's so fucking fake it's not HER THAT'S NOT TAKANE ENOMOTO THAT'S A SHIT CHARACTER JIN AND MAHIRO SATO DECIDED TO SUDDENLY WRITE INTO THE STORY i already put it in this post but let me attach it again

dear lord. anyways i've talked about that loads of times but i needed to include it in this talk cuz. yeah. i dont even HATE the rest of second manga route i just hate how takane is written specifically but since she's everything 2 me erm. you get my thumbs down!!! anyways having acknowledged second manga route we can move on.

back to main route discussion. so takane's backstory. not super deep, especially compared to other characters. yes her backstory is basically that she's sad because her boyfriend dies. but as ene there's so much more to unpack, right?! a character who will 100% accept a HALF DEATH because she's so determined not to die, but she's also mentioned to be tirelessly looking for her body because despite everything she's got HOPE? that's SUPER interesting, i love her!! what will she- *is obsessed with shintaro* ene's obsession with shintaro again ties in with everything else, desperate for attention, finds kinship with shintaro because she (or rather, ayano) decided he's compatible with her, but most importantly, he's doing badly and she wants to help him. takane isn't a person anymore, she's alive only as a technicality, so… she spends time with shintaro! but we ignore, it's TWO YEARS. and only in one of those she is with shintaro. we tend to overlook she spends the WHOLE TIME looking for her body in that other year. of course ene talks a lot about how much she loves her power, how much she loves being ene and not having to take care of her sick body but it's a REALITY that she wants to get it back. if she really didn't want it, why would she look for it and later get back into it when she does find it? but that's in between the lines. ene's obsession with shintaro is super interesting and you KNOW i love everything we know about takane be it her obsession with shintaro or her crush on haruka. i just wish there was....more.... like everyone else gets more! like HARUKA, a damn side character, gets more!!

haruka gets so SO much, he even bonds with SETO!! he gets a really well developed friendship with shintaro, he gets a very long detailed introduction scene with ayano with funny younger mekatrio shenanigans, he gets yuukei quartet hangout moments, he gets a GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH KENJIROU (fundamental imo as he's very important both in general and haruka and takane's social circle back then) and not just all that, but super thoughtfully written feelings about his illness, views on life, wishes... and all takane's story gets is…. she's sick, but it's ok it's not deadly, HARUKA HOWEVER…. oh, HE'S the real delicate one….especially since she's in love with him ofcourse!! dont forget!! btw she's grumpy cuz of her illness. she wishes she just didn't need sleep. aaanywaaays did we mention it's not as important as haruka's illness and btw she's in love with him?

unlike haruka, takane gets no relationship with ayano, and all their interactions are talking about how in LOVE they are with haruka and shintaro. no relationship with kenjirou beyond comic relief of ugh useless ass teacher, even revealed later on she stays in the dark about kenjirou forcing them to participate in the festival ON PURPOSE and playing her like that so she would be determined and make haruka join. her dynamic to shintaro pre being ene is just pitiful, and if it wasn't for his behavior towards her shintaro would be…. erm normal?? yea he's cold to ayano but that vs the way he randomly treats takane without even knowing her. god. imagine kagepro where shintaro DIDN'T do that. he'd still be flawed and stuff like what was the need😭 like HUUHH. takane gets nothing!!!!! and if we're still on the shintaro subject, why she's the asshole for being a menace as ene? whatever. i support women's wrongs. bully him harder.

alright. later she's ene, bonds with the dan. wait!! look!! it's KANO!!! she has so much in common with him, to the point he chooses her to open up to and helps her get her body back!!! this is a GREAT character choice to pair her with and to develop a dynamic with!! uh. oh wait….. kano's just totally awful to her and then later leaves her to get her body back offscreen and on her own? (looks into the camera again)

to continue comparing haruka and takane. takane mentions grandma makes her lunch, grandpa is dead, and they're both SUPER worried about her illness. there's…. nothing about their personalities or their relationship to her. meanwhile, haruka mentions everything! he's all like my illness… when it killed my mother it was exactly when the doctors said it would. my dad is cold and a little strange and doesnt spend time at home. we have a live in helper who does chores. like that's already so much deeper!

u find out through another mention later on that takane's parents work overseas but you dont know ANYTHING else despite it being so specific. while haruka goes on about his relationship with his dad or rather lack of relationship, and there's even some stranger at home doing chores for him. and again HE GETS TO HAVE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH KENJIROU, heavily written as a father/son dynamic. man.

anyways…. this is kinda all over the place and it's something i talk about very often but teehee. wanted to do it again. i was thinking about it again because i realized i don't tend to draw haruka in a context outside being takane's boytoy. which i don't particularly care about because i know that's not all i see him as and i do see him as a deep character of his own and i like analyzing him just as much… it's just in art specifically he's just always there to be in love with her and nothing else. and i was like damn does that suck of me?? but you know what. i dont care<3 thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#kagepro #kagerou project #takane enomoto #kagenalysis #my art

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