#i just noticed this video loops perfectly

[royalarchivist]

Fit: Admittedly... I have a lot of red flags. A lot of red flags, but– I- [Stammers] I can be- I can– I can change.

Pac: I'm gonna just– I'm gonna ignore all the red flags, you know?

Fit: Yeah, no, you– You have no red flags at all in my eyes, Pac.

Pac: You know, you just said red flags? I think I'm kinda like, colorblind. So... they don't look that red for me. [Laughs]

Fit: Me too! What a coincidence!

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to Fit and Pac's first date (where they both decided to be selectively colorblind). 💕

[ Full Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

—

Pac: All your problems, I'm just gonna brush them away. You know?

Fit: Oh– [Laughs] Yeah, I- I– Admittedly... I have a lot of red flags. Yeah, like– you know, I got PTSD from End Crystal explosions, and I, you know, would kill people and blow up their houses, and– You know, I mean–

Pac: Yeah...

Fit: A lot of red flags, but– I- [Stammers] I can be- I can– I can change.

Pac: I'm gonna just– I'm gonna ignore all the red flags, you know? It's all under the... Oh my god, under the...

Fit: The- the bus. Yes. [Laughs]

Pac: Under the bus, yes, under the bus. [Laughs]

Fit: Yeah, no, you– You have no red flags at all in my eyes, Pac. You have no red flags.

Pac: And- and- and at the same time Fit, you know, you- you just said red flags? I think I'm kinda like, colorblind.

Fit: [Laughs]

Pac: So... they don't look that red for me. [Laughs]

Fit: Me too! What a coincidence! I also- I- I mean– Like, what color is this flower on my- on my chest? I don't even know what color this is! Yeah.

Pac: I don't know! It looks grey. [Laughs]

Fit: I don't even know what color that is! Yeah.

[reinedeslys-central]

when it's been so long since you've read a fic that you forget about it and you find it in the search tags and start reading it again

and it's great, if a little familiar, but you've read a lot of these sorts of fics bc you like this tag a lot, so you assume it's nothing

but then the deja vu starts adding up and you start to wonder

and then moments before the great big Plot Twist Reveal happens you're suddenly like ah hell this is the bloody sundial fic again isn't it

smh this has to be the fourth time yet

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Humans are not perfectly vigilant

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in BOSTON with Randall "XKCD" Munroe (Apr 11), then PROVIDENCE (Apr 12), and beyond!

Here's a fun AI story: a security researcher noticed that large companies' AI-authored source-code repeatedly referenced a nonexistent library (an AI "hallucination"), so he created a (defanged) malicious library with that name and uploaded it, and thousands of developers automatically downloaded and incorporated it as they compiled the code:

https://www.theregister.com/2024/03/28/ai_bots_hallucinate_software_packages/

These "hallucinations" are a stubbornly persistent feature of large language models, because these models only give the illusion of understanding; in reality, they are just sophisticated forms of autocomplete, drawing on huge databases to make shrewd (but reliably fallible) guesses about which word comes next:

https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3442188.3445922

Guessing the next word without understanding the meaning of the resulting sentence makes unsupervised LLMs unsuitable for high-stakes tasks. The whole AI bubble is based on convincing investors that one or more of the following is true:

There are low-stakes, high-value tasks that will recoup the massive costs of AI training and operation;

There are high-stakes, high-value tasks that can be made cheaper by adding an AI to a human operator;

Adding more training data to an AI will make it stop hallucinating, so that it can take over high-stakes, high-value tasks without a "human in the loop."

These are dubious propositions. There's a universe of low-stakes, low-value tasks – political disinformation, spam, fraud, academic cheating, nonconsensual porn, dialog for video-game NPCs – but none of them seem likely to generate enough revenue for AI companies to justify the billions spent on models, nor the trillions in valuation attributed to AI companies:

https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/

The proposition that increasing training data will decrease hallucinations is hotly contested among AI practitioners. I confess that I don't know enough about AI to evaluate opposing sides' claims, but even if you stipulate that adding lots of human-generated training data will make the software a better guesser, there's a serious problem. All those low-value, low-stakes applications are flooding the internet with botshit. After all, the one thing AI is unarguably very good at is producing bullshit at scale. As the web becomes an anaerobic lagoon for botshit, the quantum of human-generated "content" in any internet core sample is dwindling to homeopathic levels:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/14/inhuman-centipede/#enshittibottification

This means that adding another order of magnitude more training data to AI won't just add massive computational expense – the data will be many orders of magnitude more expensive to acquire, even without factoring in the additional liability arising from new legal theories about scraping:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/17/how-to-think-about-scraping/

That leaves us with "humans in the loop" – the idea that an AI's business model is selling software to businesses that will pair it with human operators who will closely scrutinize the code's guesses. There's a version of this that sounds plausible – the one in which the human operator is in charge, and the AI acts as an eternally vigilant "sanity check" on the human's activities.

For example, my car has a system that notices when I activate my blinker while there's another car in my blind-spot. I'm pretty consistent about checking my blind spot, but I'm also a fallible human and there've been a couple times where the alert saved me from making a potentially dangerous maneuver. As disciplined as I am, I'm also sometimes forgetful about turning off lights, or waking up in time for work, or remembering someone's phone number (or birthday). I like having an automated system that does the robotically perfect trick of never forgetting something important.

There's a name for this in automation circles: a "centaur." I'm the human head, and I've fused with a powerful robot body that supports me, doing things that humans are innately bad at.

That's the good kind of automation, and we all benefit from it. But it only takes a small twist to turn this good automation into a nightmare. I'm speaking here of the reverse-centaur: automation in which the computer is in charge, bossing a human around so it can get its job done. Think of Amazon warehouse workers, who wear haptic bracelets and are continuously observed by AI cameras as autonomous shelves shuttle in front of them and demand that they pick and pack items at a pace that destroys their bodies and drives them mad:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/17/revenge-of-the-chickenized-reverse-centaurs/

Automation centaurs are great: they relieve humans of drudgework and let them focus on the creative and satisfying parts of their jobs. That's how AI-assisted coding is pitched: rather than looking up tricky syntax and other tedious programming tasks, an AI "co-pilot" is billed as freeing up its human "pilot" to focus on the creative puzzle-solving that makes coding so satisfying.

But an hallucinating AI is a terrible co-pilot. It's just good enough to get the job done much of the time, but it also sneakily inserts booby-traps that are statistically guaranteed to look as plausible as the good code (that's what a next-word-guessing program does: guesses the statistically most likely word).

This turns AI-"assisted" coders into reverse centaurs. The AI can churn out code at superhuman speed, and you, the human in the loop, must maintain perfect vigilance and attention as you review that code, spotting the cleverly disguised hooks for malicious code that the AI can't be prevented from inserting into its code. As "Lena" writes, "code review [is] difficult relative to writing new code":

https://twitter.com/qntm/status/1773779967521780169

Why is that? "Passively reading someone else's code just doesn't engage my brain in the same way. It's harder to do properly":

https://twitter.com/qntm/status/1773780355708764665

There's a name for this phenomenon: "automation blindness." Humans are just not equipped for eternal vigilance. We get good at spotting patterns that occur frequently – so good that we miss the anomalies. That's why TSA agents are so good at spotting harmless shampoo bottles on X-rays, even as they miss nearly every gun and bomb that a red team smuggles through their checkpoints:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/23/automation-blindness/#humans-in-the-loop

"Lena"'s thread points out that this is as true for AI-assisted driving as it is for AI-assisted coding: "self-driving cars replace the experience of driving with the experience of being a driving instructor":

https://twitter.com/qntm/status/1773841546753831283

In other words, they turn you into a reverse-centaur. Whereas my blind-spot double-checking robot allows me to make maneuvers at human speed and points out the things I've missed, a "supervised" self-driving car makes maneuvers at a computer's frantic pace, and demands that its human supervisor tirelessly and perfectly assesses each of those maneuvers. No wonder Cruise's murderous "self-driving" taxis replaced each low-waged driver with 1.5 high-waged technical robot supervisors:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no

AI radiology programs are said to be able to spot cancerous masses that human radiologists miss. A centaur-based AI-assisted radiology program would keep the same number of radiologists in the field, but they would get less done: every time they assessed an X-ray, the AI would give them a second opinion. If the human and the AI disagreed, the human would go back and re-assess the X-ray. We'd get better radiology, at a higher price (the price of the AI software, plus the additional hours the radiologist would work).

But back to making the AI bubble pay off: for AI to pay off, the human in the loop has to reduce the costs of the business buying an AI. No one who invests in an AI company believes that their returns will come from business customers to agree to increase their costs. The AI can't do your job, but the AI salesman can convince your boss to fire you and replace you with an AI anyway – that pitch is the most successful form of AI disinformation in the world.

An AI that "hallucinates" bad advice to fliers can't replace human customer service reps, but airlines are firing reps and replacing them with chatbots:

https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20240222-air-canada-chatbot-misinformation-what-travellers-should-know

An AI that "hallucinates" bad legal advice to New Yorkers can't replace city services, but Mayor Adams still tells New Yorkers to get their legal advice from his chatbots:

https://arstechnica.com/ai/2024/03/nycs-government-chatbot-is-lying-about-city-laws-and-regulations/

The only reason bosses want to buy robots is to fire humans and lower their costs. That's why "AI art" is such a pisser. There are plenty of harmless ways to automate art production with software – everything from a "healing brush" in Photoshop to deepfake tools that let a video-editor alter the eye-lines of all the extras in a scene to shift the focus. A graphic novelist who models a room in The Sims and then moves the camera around to get traceable geometry for different angles is a centaur – they are genuinely offloading some finicky drudgework onto a robot that is perfectly attentive and vigilant.

But the pitch from "AI art" companies is "fire your graphic artists and replace them with botshit." They're pitching a world where the robots get to do all the creative stuff (badly) and humans have to work at robotic pace, with robotic vigilance, in order to catch the mistakes that the robots make at superhuman speed.

Reverse centaurism is brutal. That's not news: Charlie Chaplin documented the problems of reverse centaurs nearly 100 years ago:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Times_(film)

As ever, the problem with a gadget isn't what it does: it's who it does it for and who it does it to. There are plenty of benefits from being a centaur – lots of ways that automation can help workers. But the only path to AI profitability lies in reverse centaurs, automation that turns the human in the loop into the crumple-zone for a robot:

https://estsjournal.org/index.php/ests/article/view/260

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/01/human-in-the-loop/#monkey-in-the-middle

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

--

Jorge Royan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Munich_-_Two_boys_playing_in_a_park_-_7328.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

--

Noah Wulf (modified) https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Thunderbirds_at_Attention_Next_to_Thunderbird_1_-_Aviation_Nation_2019.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[eternaltae7]

Hani & JK at Coachella

Hani of BTS | BTS 8th Member

The lights of Coachella pulsed across the crowd like a heartbeat, colors flashing over everyone in neon and electric hues. Hani was in the center of it all, feeling the excitement sweep through the festival grounds. She was with Jennie, Jisoo, and Lisa, having the time of her life despite knowing she had to be serious for her performance the next day. BLACKPINK would be performing at Coachella, and since Rosé had fallen sick, Hani was set to step in for her. But for tonight, she could let go and enjoy the moment. Even better, her longtime friend and bandmate, Jungkook, was there with her. Timing had worked out perfectly since he was recording in LA, so he’d decided to join her for Coachella, eager to support her and enjoy the festival.

The girls were all buzzing from a few drinks, dancing and laughing together under the flashing lights. Hani didn’t mind the warmth of the alcohol spreading through her, making her feel lighter and bolder, her laughter blending with theirs as they swayed to the music. But as the night went on, Hani started to feel the unwanted presence of a group of men nearby. They were lingering too close, their gazes too persistent, and Hani began inching closer to Jennie and Lisa, trying to ignore them.

Suddenly, she felt a familiar hand slip around her waist, pulling her back protectively. Jungkook was by her side in an instant, his hand firm as he positioned himself between her and the men. Without saying a word, he subtly drew her close, his fingers slipping into her belt loops, signaling to everyone that she wasn’t alone.

“Just keep dancing,” he murmured, his voice low and steady in her ear. “I’ve got you.”

Hani smiled gratefully, closing her eyes for a moment, letting the music and his presence calm her. They continued swaying together, her feeling safe and relaxed in his protective embrace, his watchful gaze ensuring that no one would bother her again.

Unbeknownst to them, several people in the crowd noticed the moment and whipped out their phones, capturing Jungkook’s protective stance. Within minutes, clips of Jungkook holding Hani close, were posted online. The videos went viral almost instantly, and soon, ARMYs on Twitter and social media were flooding the internet with fan edits and reactions.

@ArmyForever: “JUNGKOOK holding HANI like that?? My heart can’t take it, he’s such a protector!! 😍🔥 #ProtectiveJungkook”

@OT7Army: “Not me obsessing over how safe Hani looks with Kookie holding her like that… idk I’m in shambles #JungkookHani”

@BTSxARMY: “I’m losing it over this! Look at how he’s holding her belt loops—my heart is done! Jungkook is the best 🥺💜 #JungkookProtectsHani”

As the internet buzzed with excitement, Wonwoo, who had stayed back in Korea, was scrolling through his phone when he stumbled upon one of the videos. His heart skipped a beat seeing Hani with Jungkook, the way he was holding her protectively. At first, worry flashed through his mind—she looked flushed, a little unsteady, and he recognized that look. She’d probably had a few drinks with the BLACKPINK girls and was feeling lightheaded. Concerned, he opened his messages, his fingers hovering before he typed a quick text to Jungkook.

Wonwoo: Hey, Kookie, saw a few videos. Hani okay?

The response was almost immediate.

Jungkook: Yeah, hyung, she’s fine! She had a little too much with the BLACKPINK girls, but don’t worry. I’m taking her back now.

Wonwoo exhaled, the tension easing as he imagined Hani safe and smiling, thanks to Jungkook’s watchful presence.

Wonwoo: I appreciate it, Kookie. Really. Thanks for having her back.

Jungkook: Always, hyung. I’m basically guarding her with my life right now. 😂

Wonwoo smiled at his screen, feeling reassured and grateful that Hani had someone so reliable by her side.

Meanwhile, Jungkook guided Hani back to her hotel room, making sure she was comfortable and had everything she needed. Once inside, he helped her settle onto the sofa, opening a bottle of water from the minibar and handing it to her.

“Here,” he said, sitting beside her. “You need to hydrate.”

Hani took the bottle with a sleepy grin, taking big gulps as she shook her head, still giggling. “I’m going to feel this tomorrow, aren’t I?”

“Definitely. But you’ll feel worse if you don’t drink that,” he replied, watching her with an amused smile as she drank more. Once she finished most of the bottle, Jungkook leaned back, a soft seriousness entering his gaze. “You ready for tomorrow?”

Hani looked down at the water, a mix of nerves and excitement surfacing in her eyes. “I mean…it’s Coachella. I feel ready but also…not ready at all? I’ve never done something like this and I don’t want to disappoint ARMY or Blinks. Everyone’s expecting something amazing.”

Jungkook tilted his head, meeting her gaze with a steady, encouraging look. “And that’s exactly what they’re going to get. Hani—don’t act like Coachella’s any different. Tomorrow, you’re going to make that crowd lose it.”

Her face softened as his words sank in, her cheeks flushing as she gave a small, grateful nod. “Thank you, Kookie.”

He smirked, his eyes bright with confidence. “Just telling the truth. You’ve got this, and tomorrow everyone’s going to see it.”

Hani felt her nerves melt, a smile breaking through as she looked at him with genuine appreciation. “I’ll give it my all. I’m going to make you and everyone proud.”

Jungkook chuckled, reaching over to ruffle her hair. “That’s what I like to hear. Now, get some rest.”

Once he was sure she’d drunk enough water and was comfortably settled, he gave her a last pat on the shoulder and stood to leave. “You good?” he asked.

She nodded, giving him a warm, sleepy smile. “More than good, thanks to you.”

He returned the smile, nodding with a final wave. “Break a leg tomorrow, Hani. I’ll be cheering you on.”

After he left, Hani felt a warm glow settle over her, a mix of gratitude and determination. Jungkook had a way of grounding her, filling her with the confidence she needed to take on a stage as big as Coachella. As she lay down, she opened her phone to find a message from Wonwoo, making her smile grow even wider.

Wonwoo: Knock ‘em dead tomorrow, Hani. I’m so proud of you.

[dreamerwitches]

Rating labyrinths: Gertrud!

Okay! Let's go with the labyrinth ratings wheeee!!!

What I'm going to do is rank separate parts of labyrinths (eg. anthony's labyrinth from ep 1 is separate to gertrud's from ep 2) but I'll also give an average at the end.

I will (most likely) only be doing labyrinths that are in colour (so maybe not manga witches)

Anthony's labyrinth from episode 1

I think this is a really good one, especially as the first shown (not including walpy's). It really shows of the cut-out style of the labyrinths and the deep blue-hued colours are perfectly moody. The use of runes in the background is also really fun for secret messages. I feel the only downside is that it doesn't really scream Gertrud to me. Like, if you didn't know the series well and was shown this, I doubt you'd think it belonged to her. HOWEVER... I think this does work for Gertrud since all her precious roses are in her room with her. It makes sense that she'd keep them close.

You could say that it's weird that this labyrinth doesn't share colours with the main one but I think it works because it's a familiar's labyrinth. The photorealistic buildings also match the main labyrinth. I wonder if the butterfly and anthony traffic signs are meant to be a subtle warning to madoka and sayaka hmmm

I really like this one. A 5/5 for me

Gertrud's labyrinth from episode 2

There's a lot to it so it's kinda hard to summarise in images lol. But it's another great one. Great imagery, lovely colours and has themes brought over from Anthony's labyrinth. I think the orange tones, although relaxing, also give off this sepia feel that makes it a little unnerving too. Like looking through a tinted view makes things seem unreal.

One of my favourite parts are the doorways that lead to black nothingness. Really helps with the labyrinthine feel. Small touches like the portraits with slight things changed in them to make them scary. It's the kind of thing you don't notice unless you pause. I also like how it seems the labyrinth becomes more luscious as you get deeper. The trees start bare, then with black leaves, then Gertrud's room is fully in bloom.

I wasn't sure whether to rank the boss room separately, maybe I will... I think the ceiling that doesn't quite make sense works well to make it feel disorientating and it's a fun contrast to the kinda pretty garden around Gertrud. It's messy but in a good way. I also think having the boss room have a different theme to the rest works. Just as before I mentioned that roses are only in her boss room, I think it would make sense that her special place may be better taken care of or just look overall nicer. It's very good but I'd say, not my favourite segment. Maybe just because it's only one room?? That makes it a little unfair to compare to the rest...

I'll give the labyrinth a 5/5. Boss room is a 4.5/5

Gertrud's labyrinth from Magireco episode 11

Yeah... this one isn't it, chief... like, it has the things of her labyrinth but it's just not... uhhh I dunno it feels more like a set piece than a proper area...

Let's start with what I like: of course, I love the Gertrud motifs. The butterflies, the cut out images and the hidden text (although it's no different than the original anime iirc). I really like the halo above Gertrud's area. And the hanging loops. It's weird but pretty. Suits Gertrud!

Sadly that's where my positives end. The stark white is NOT Gertrud it's so weird... I guess the stone rose works better but not the rest. I kinda hate in the zoom out where... it just looks like a video game level, like I'm looking at mario 64 or something ToT that is not a labyrinth..! Just the overall layout is meh. I dislike the random fluff pile below it too. Just felt like they didnt know what to fill it with...

It's a dud but has some good things... I'm giving it a 1.5/5. I know there's worse which is why it's not a 1.

So overall Gertrud get's a.... 4/5 wow!!!

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

A Balancing Act

There were so many wonderful prompts that I couldn't fit them all in here! Thank you so much to everyone who submitted one :)

Read on Ao3

Warnings: bruised ego, panic attacks, touch starvation

Pairings: none

Word Count: 6556

It starts, as do most things, in the Imagination.

Deep beneath the surface of the world, buried in layers of implication and mystery, lies a set of scales. Perfectly balanced? No, never, but always in a state of equilibrium. It operates on a set of rules far older than the theories of physics that govern the Waking World—that is, what most would refer to as Reality, outside the bounds of the Mindscape—for science is an intersection of math and literature and magic is a science based on a math most esoteric. Its golden rule is simply thus: whatever gives must be pulled, and whatever pulls must be given.

The scales must always hang. The scales must always be.

In the middle of the night, when no one will notice, Remus turns on his convincing loop of his own sleep noises—grunts, sloshing, the occasional rustle of bed covers—and sinks into Roman's room. Roman is awake, sitting on the edge of his bed, tying and untying the same knot in a length of rope as he stares into nothingness.

"Sorry," he mumbles as soon as Remus comes to sit next to him, "I'm…trying. I just can't seem to get anything…more."

"It's okay, Roro, I'm not mad or anything. I honestly thought it was kinda cool."

Roman huffs a laugh, only mostly filled with humor. "I figured you would. I mean, it's way more of a you idea, isn't it? Having the entire tower suddenly become as flexible as rubber and threaten to kill everyone inside?"

"I'm not gonna try and summon Janny at this point of the night, I'm definitely stealing it for my next video game dungeon idea."

"I'm glad at least one of us is getting some use out of it."

The humor dissipates quickly as Roman's fingers keep working unsteadily at the knot. Remus reaches over and rests his head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of Roman's breath ghosting over his temple as he wraps his arm around Roman's waist. "Are you doing okay otherwise?"

Another sigh. "I don't know, Remus. I don't—I haven't had the energy to know how I'm doing which I think is answer in and of itself, and every time I try to actually do something about it, the Imagination knows that I'm not—that I can't—"

Remus gives him a squeeze when his breathing starts to pick up a little. Roman winces and he sits up right away. "Are you bruised again?"

A suspiciously long pause. "It's nothing, Re—"

"Bullshit." Remus storms to the bathroom and returns with the first aid kit, tossing it on the bed. "Lemme see, Ro-bro, I'm not letting you get away with being bruised to hell and not letting anyone take care of you."

"Re," Roman almost whines, but he sets the rope aside and starts fiddling with the hem of his pajama shirt. "I'm—it's really fine, it's not even that bad this time."

"I'll be the judge of what's 'that bad,' thank you very much. You're not allowed to evaluate your own injuries after you hid broken ribs from me for almost a week."

"I was sort of proud of that, actually. Hey!" He yelps as Remus tugs on his hair. "Not the hair!"

"So lemme look at you. Come on."

"You're so demanding." But off comes the shirt and Remus has to begrudgingly admit that it's not actually that bad this time. A light smattering of yellow and a dusting of blue along Roman's side, probably just enough to make him wince if someone presses down on the right wrong spot. "See? It's fine. It'll probably fade by morning."

"You can't blame me for being suspicious, though."

"No," and Roman's voice gets all soft and gentle for a moment, "I don't. Thank you, Re. I…"

"No need to get too sappy, Roro, the night's still young."

"Yeah, maybe by your standards."

"I always go by my standards, because my standards are right," Remus remarks as he goes to return the first aid kit at a more reasonable pace, "how you should be treated better, how the others should know about some of this stuff—"

"No."

"But Ro—"

"No, Remus," Roman says, voice suddenly cold. He puts his shirt back on and hunches his shoulders. "We both know that them knowing isn't going to be a good idea."

"They care about you, Ro—"

"Evidently not!"

"But they don't know about it!"

"Yeah, because I've tried opening up to them in the past and all it's gotten me are insults, badly veiled pity, and the promise that it will be used against me at the first time it's convenient for them! I'm not going to give them an even more detailed guide of 'Press Here to Hurt the Prince!'"

Remus is quiet for a long moment and Roman sighs.

"You're thinking of how to make that into some sort of weird carnival game for your horror country fair, aren't you?"

"Only slightly—"

"I knew it."

"—but I'm also worried because you're my brother, Roman," Remus says quietly, coming over to sit next to Roman again, taking his hands and giving them a squeeze, "and I don't like seeing you hurting."

"But you know I'm right."

"…but I have a feeling that your instincts may be accurate."

Roman's brow quirks in amusement. "You've been spending more time with Logan, then?"

"Yeah. We, uh, we have an experiments lab in the mad scientist part of that big old spooky mansion you and I made when we were younger and it's…it's really fun, Ro, you should come hang out with us."

Roman chuckles, smoothing his thumb over Remus's scarred knuckles. "I don't think me and experiments would be very fun for all of us, but I'll happily partake in quests to gather the more obscure resources you might require. I'm sure you could convince Logan to take a small break for such an excursion in the future?"

"Ooh, a quest with an actual party! That might be fun. We'll have to think about that more tomorrow after we get some rest," he says pointedly when Roman looks eager enough to keep going now, only to chuckle at Roman's disappointed face, "hey, you're telling me—I'm being the reasonable one here and I'm exhausted already."

"Restoring balance to the universe, then." Roman leans forward to rest his forehead against Remus's. "Thanks for coming to check in on me."

"Hey, you're my brother. The entire world could be turned upside down and back to front and that'd still be true."

"Is that your way of saying you're always gonna be there for me?"

"Just like I know you will. And yes, before you ask, I'm enjoying imagining the others being surprised we're like this too."

"Just checking."

Remus ruffles Roman's hair. "Get some sleep, okay, Roro?"

"You too."

***

Roman wakes up cold.

Well, no. That's not quite right. He wakes up in agony that he can only bear to keep to himself because he's too cold to have the energy to move.

The first thing he registers is the pain. Deep, bone-weary agonizing pain that feels like he's been locked in a suit of armor that is being tightened, slowly, half-turn by half-turn of a screw. A noise threatens to escape his lips before he presses them tightly together, managing to roll onto his back.

He's on his side—or he was on his side. There's a soft rustle and a weight that indicates a covering of some kind. Blankets. He's in a bed. A bed he doesn't recognize in his state of delirium. The pain becomes enough of a dull roar that he can move his head, looking around at a blurred and darkened room. The barest sliver of light comes from a window just off to the side, behind his head, exposing the dark red of the covers slathered across his body. It stretches away into the darkness as though it were an ocean of blood, a tug of renewed pain reinforcing that as his neck cries out for release. Already exhausted, he lets his head flop back down onto the pillow—pillow, right, that's what it is.

He closes his eyes. It isn't often that he has nightmares as visceral and violent as this. To his—shame? Relief? He doesn't know anymore—it's been so long that he doesn't quite remember what he's supposed to do about it.

Behind his eyes flash aftershocks of his own screams of pain, his own bitten whimpers and whines as pain explodes along his body. He flinches away from the memories on instinct and the blood-red covers jostle with him. He remembers the darkness, the too-bright light, the pain, the waiting, and the voice.

The voice, taking observations and notes in a clinical, detached tone, ready to aim the next caustic remark to paint black and blue and purple across his fragile skin.

He knows it's probably a bad thing, to have nightmares about his fellow Sides. He knows it's probably not healthy, indicative of much larger problems between them—and for Thomas. He knows the best thing to do is probably to talk about them with the Sides in question so they can move forward together.

But bruises ache in a way that not many other injuries are capable of, and Roman has always, always been so, so sensitive.

He sees one last terrifying glimpse of Logan's face, a twisted curiosity pinned to him as though he were a bug to be displayed, and turns the idea away. He won't give it any sort of excuse to come true.

***

"No, no, no, we're not going over this again."

"On the contrary," Logan sighs as Virgil groans, slumping against the railing, "it seems that is exactly what we're going to do."

Janus rolls his eyes and examines the tops of his gloves, brushing away imaginary specks of dirt. "I don't understand what the hold-up is here, Patton, it's not as though we don't have endless possibilities for what we can watch for movie night."

"I'm just saying we can do better than getting them illegally! Thomas has access to streaming services, we can just ask one of his friends for their password—"

"Password sharing?" Janus mock gasps, holding his hand over his mouth. "Patton, didn't you know that's also illegal? The streaming services don't want you to do that! They want you to have your own account!"

"But that doesn't make any sense!"

"That's his point, Pop Star."

"But by all means, Patton," Janus continues, adopting a sickly-sweet tone that quickly morphs into one of disdain the longer he keeps speaking, "if you'd prefer to get the movies legally like a good little servant of this capitalist hellscape and contribute to the erasing of public ownership of storytelling by allowing corporations to scam us by 'selling' us copies of media that we can never actually permanently have, then by all means, let's keep looking."

There's a pause. Then Patton snorts. Soon everyone's laughing at the sheer ridiculousness—and accuracy���of Janus's little monologue. He holds his hands up. "Alright, you've convinced me."

"Thank you." Janus preens a little. "I always did think there was more validity in such arguments once you add just a little bit of flavor."

"Okay, if that's what you call a little bit of flavor, I'm never coming over for dinner again."

"Why, Virgil—"

"Nope." Virgil holds up a finger. "'Cause, see, I always thought it was weird that we went through spices so quickly over there when the ones in this kitchen have lasted for months—"

"I'm not sure Remus is entirely free of blame in this case," Logan remarks wryly, "in any case, thank you, Janus and Patton, for coming to an agreement. Now that it's all settled, shall we proceed with movie night as planned?"

"Works for me!"

"Yeah, I'm all set now."

Janus simply waves his hand in an 'of course' gesture. Logan glances around. "Alright, then—and Roman? You're all settled?"

He sees Patton and Janus visibly jerk, as though they'd forgotten he was there. He smiles a little weakly from his corner. "Yeah. I'm all good."

"Okay, I'm gonna admit something I really didn't think was possible," Virgil mumbles, fiddling with his hoodie strings, "but I genuinely forgot Princey was here and was just about to ask L what he was talking about."

"Gosh, I think I did too! I'm so sorry, kiddo, I didn't mean to!"

"It's okay."

"You better watch out, Princey," Virgil laughs, "pretty sure J's gunning for your spot as Thomas's theater kid Side with monologues like that."

Roman forces himself to laugh with everyone else—well, almost everyone. Remus shoots him a concerned look that he only nods back to, I'm fine, it's okay, as a bruise blooms warmly along the underside of his ribs. Thankfully, his little exhale disguises himself as part of the laugh as Janus starts preening again. Still, the words linger over his skin as they settle in for movie night, wriggling their way up from his stomach to the tip of his tongue.

During a loud part of the movie, he turns to whisper to Janus. "Hey."

"Hey," Janus whispers back, "you doing okay? You need us to turn it down?"

"What? No, far be it from me to keep you from enjoying something. I was just—I was just thinking. I have a proposition for you."

"Oh?"

"Did you, um, do you have any interest in learning how to fence?"

Janus fully turns to look at him, surprise painted in the many colors from the screen. "Really?"

"Yeah, I think you'd—"

"You know how to fence?"

A smaller bruise, colored mostly by the surprise, but a bruise nonetheless as Roman makes himself hold the smile. "Yeah, I know how to fence. I think you'd enjoy it."

"Yeah, yes, Roman, I think I'd like that very much." Janus blinks, surprise settling into something more akin to excitement. "I'm—well, I'm grateful you've finally noticed me as someone worth spending time with."

It's a tease, it must be, and yet the bruises ache no less at the implications. "What can I say, I need to make sure Thomas's theater kid Side knows everything."

Janus takes it as a joke. He usually does when it comes to things like this, which is why Roman knows he can get away with it right now. While Janus is distracted, high on the energy of winning the argument and the general daze that comes from being invested in a good movie with friends. Where he doesn't have time to realize that this isn't a lie, it's the truth, and if he uncovers that then this has a lot smaller chance of this actually working.

But Janus doesn't notice. And Roman can breathe a sigh of relief when no more bruises blossom across his aching chest.

***

The scales tip further and further to one side. The Imagination responds, growing wilder and crueler as the woods thicken and the rivers deepen. The skies grow darker, the wind colder. In the center of an old castle ruin, a garden that has lain untouched for years begins to wither. A single rose petal flutters to the ground.

***

He's grateful for the excuse of training Janus how to fence. That way, he has a reason to wince and smile sheepishly when the bruises covering him reassert themselves. Then again, as with most things that work in Roman's favor, it's a double-edged sword. Wow, Janus must be improving quite a bit, then! He's getting good enough to put you on your ass already, Princey? It's a good thing you've found a sparring partner that challenges you, then. Can't wait to fight, Snakey!

And then new bruises will spring up and the cycle will begin anew.

Janus is, in all honesty, quite an excellent sparring partner. His movements are fluid, graceful, no doubt in part due to his snake-like traits, and he internalizes the key lesson Roman teaches him on their very first day. It doesn't matter how quickly you get somewhere so long as you arrive at the right time. Slow is steady. Steady is smooth. Smooth is fast.

"I'm curious," Janus asks once day while they're taking a break, sipping from a water bottle and eyeing Roman over the top, "why fencing?"

"What, am I not fulfilling all the stereotypes as you wished?"

"Most knights don't fence, not all swordplays are alike." Roman waggles his eyebrows and Janus rolls his eyes, smacking his shoulder. "That's not what I meant. You grow more like Remus everyday."

He's grateful that his entire body is covered when a light smattering of purple decorates the insides of both of his arms. "I like fencing. It's all about timing."

"You mentioned."

"I don't know, I think—you know, like with most stories. It's all about getting the pacing right. You can't rush into the narrative, you can't force the plot, it has to sort of…happen on its own. Your job as the storyteller is to make sure the pace is right so the story has the most impact."

Janus's eyebrows raise higher and higher the longer Roman keeps talking. "Careful, there, you're getting dangerously close to being insightful."

"Hey! I'm a storyteller, shouldn't I know my own craft?"

"I suppose so."

"You suppose—what is that supposed to mean? Oh, shut up," he grumbles when Janus makes a smug expression, "I'm not falling for that again."

"I believe you already did, dear prince."

"Don't call me that."

"Whatever His Highness commands."

Roman rolls his eyes and turns around to hide the flicker of genuine hurt behind putting his water bottle down. "Come on, then. If you've got enough energy to bully me with words you can do it on the mats."

"You'll make me think you like being pushed around."

"Believe me," Roman says darkly, "you have no idea what a glutton for punishment I'm turning into."

***

"Hey, Remus?"

Remus pokes his head out from the massive gorgon corpse he's butchering, draped in all sorts of gore with a manic grin on his face. Virgil mumbles a quiet sure, why not as Logan adjusts his glasses. "Friends!"

"Hello, Remus," Logan greets, "we were wondering if we could have a moment of your time."

"Sure. Gimme just a sec to finish up with this thing and I'll be right with you."

"Is there, uh, somewhere we can wait that's less…entrail-y?"

"Go over the hill to the back, that's where the big shed is. I'll be in there in just a moment." There's the whirring of some sort of machinery that no one quite has the patience—or stomach—to name as a spray of something wet and squelchy-sounding hits the ground on the other side of the carcass. Virgil and Logan glance at each other before making a strategic and somewhat hasty retreat to the shed.

True to his word, Remus shows up a few minutes later, wiping the remains of something off of his hands with a rag he tosses into a wash barrel on the porch before coming inside.

"My two favorite Left Brain Boys, how can I help you today?"

"We've come about Roman."

Remus sobers immediately. He runs a hand through his hair and pulls a stool closer, sitting down and immediately tapping his fingers against his thighs. "What is it about him?"

"He's been bad," Virgil blurts out, hands bunched in his hoodie pockets, "like…really bad. Worse than normal bad."

"I got that much."

"He's been distant during brainstorming," Logan says quietly, "and I'm not sure—I do not know enough about it to understand what I can do to help."

"He won't talk to me about anything that isn't meeting or food related anymore. I can't even get him to complain about stupid plot twists that don't make any sense."

"He's stopped writing in his notebooks, at least where the rest of us can see."

"He's not even singing as much anymore, Remus, it's bad."

"I know." Remus's quiet admission startles them into silence. He's still tapping out a frantic rhythm, eyes darting from beaker to chart to specimen as the silence grows fuzzier and fuzzier. The wind whistles through the holes in the shutters. "Believe me, I know."

"My apologies," Logan says after a moment, "we didn't consider—at least I didn't consider that you would know Roman better than we would."

"No, no, I didn't—fuck, shit, sorry, Remus."

"You guys don't have to apologize to me. Ro's—Ro's not having a good time right now, yeah. And I'm…not helping."

"What do you mean, you're not helping? You're always there for Princey."

"Yeah, but not—okay, shit, look, I'm actually—I need to check with Roman before having this conversation."

"What? Why? Is there something wrong that we shouldn't know about?"

"It's just—to explain why—you know what? No. We're gonna do the short version of this conversation where you guys ask me questions and I tell you what I can. I'll talk to Roman later."

"We don't mean any harm," Logan starts to say, but Remus waves him off.

"I know. It's not about that. It's about me making sure I don't fuck up Ro's boundaries."

"I get that." Virgil shuffles a bit on his stool. "So can we—can we ask you stuff now?"

"Go ahead."

"Princey's been off ever since the wedding. Is—is that accurate to say?"

"Yeah."

"And it seems like it's not—like, it sort of seems like it's getting better, but it's not, not really. He's still been really down and upset and it's—it's getting really hard to like, talk to him about things. I'm just—is there something else we don't know about Roman that's making this harder?"

"Yes."

"Are you…gonna tell us what it is?"

"No."

"Okay, I guess that's fair."

"Would I be correct to say," Logan asks, "that Roman's struggles are related both to the wedding and to additional factors?"

"Yeah."

"Would it be accurate to say there is something unique about Roman that makes this situation significantly worse?"

The corner of Remus's mouth twitches. "No."

"Amended question: is there something unique about both yours and Roman's relationship to the Imagination, the Mindscape, and Thomas himself that makes this situation significantly worse?"

"Where the fuck are we, in court again?"

"Do you see why Janny didn't want Logan to be part of it if he was gonna win?"

"Answer the question, please, Remus."

"Yeah, Lolo. You're right. And we're not in a court room, which means I'm not bound by any of those stupid fucking rules and I will tell you that you're walking a dangerous line over there."

"Forgive me. I'm not trying to pry into Roman's business—okay, I'm not just trying to pry," he amends hastily when Remus glares at him, "I want to help. But I need to understand in order to help."

Remus sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know you guys want to help. But Ro…fuck, okay, this is the only piece of info you're getting from me about this that isn't gonna be just an instruction on what to do, but Roman…Roman really isn't good about letting people help him."

"Why?"

"He lets you help him."

"I'm his brother. I'm exempt and can make him let me take care of him."

Logan looks like he wants to argue for another second before he makes himself take a deep breath and adjust his glasses. "Thank you for telling us, Remus. How…how can we help?"

***

"It's getting worse." Patton confides in a whisper as Janus leans into his side. "I don't know what to do."

"There's not much we can do if Roman doesn't let us."

The irony of this conversation is not lost on either of them, not when the expression Roman wore when they glimpsed him all but fleeing back to his room is still in the forefront of their minds. They'd tried everything Remus had suggested, all of it: letting Roman have a say in what they watched for movie night, what they had for dinner, what they talked about when they all hung out in the living room just for the sake of it. They'd tried asking about his projects, expressing enthusiasm for things they didn't love for themselves but they loved because Roman loved them, even just asking Roman if he was okay, if he needed anything.

And Roman just kept falling further and further away from them.

"I don't know what to do," Patton confesses, prompting Janus to reach up and card a hand through his hair, "Roman's so quiet now, he's so small, he's not—Roman's not supposed to be small."

"He isn't," Janus agrees, "he's supposed to be our larger-than-life prince. I don't…I don't know how to fix this."

"If I'd known that it was going to be this bad, that the wedding would cause something like this to happen—"

"Don't play the 'what if' game, Patton, it never ends well. It's not—" Janus sighs— "believe me, as someone who's spent too long wallowing in the guilt of how badly my actions have hurt others when I truly didn't intend them to, it's not worth it."

"But I don't know what else to do! Roman's hurting, Janus, and I don't know how to fix it! I'm supposed to know how to fix it, we all have to take care of each other, and Roman's not—he's not letting us!"

"I know," Janus whispers, pulling him closer, "I know."

"What do we do?"

"The only thing we can do is keep trying and hope that Roman realizes how badly we want to see him alright again."

So they do. They try, and they try quite desperately to make sure Roman knows how much he is loved and how they care for his happiness. Roman, their wonderful vibrant prince who is greyer than any can remember him being. Roman, their songbird who hasn't sung a single note in weeks. Roman, who once could light up a room simply by appearing within it who has relegated himself to silent corners where their eyes long to skip over him. They don't know what to do. Roman is fading right in front of their eyes and nothing they do seems to have any effect on it whatsoever.

Remus is getting worse. He's more frantic, more hyper, more exaggerated. His ideas grow more and more frenetic, his experiments wilder and less restrained. The Imagination grows dangerous and chaotic as rules break and remake themselves over and over. The doors are soon locked and barred lest something try and escape and only the brothers can safely enter its depths without fear of getting lost in the storm. Remus tries to keep himself contained there, just because there is so much energy brimming within him that it would be catastrophic should it leak into the Mindscape proper, but Roman…

They're losing Roman.

Desperation makes fools of us all.

They have a meeting. They ask Roman what's going on. They try to be gentle. They try to tell Roman how much they care. They try to show that it's all coming from a place of love.

And Roman, their precious, lovely, wonderful, incredible Roman, collapses into a heap of tears.

***

The break comes. It's horrifying, tragic, and so very beautiful. The scales are upended, one side swinging wildly towards the heavens as the other shatters free from one of the links holding it aloft. The Imagination screams.

***

"Please—please—just tell me what you want, I can't do this anymore, I can't—I can't—" Roman's hands tangle in his hair and pull— "don't do this to me, I'll never—I can't—don't fucking do this!"

"Ro, Ro, you gotta calm down—"

Roman flinches away from Remus's touch, even as the others back up to give the brothers more space. His sobs run his breathing ragged, each inhale more pained than the last as they echo around and around the room. Remus swallows and reaches out again, carefully prying Roman's white-knuckled grip free.

"Ro-bro, it's me. It's just me. You know I'll never hurt you, right?"

"I don't understand, Re—"

"Shh, shh, hang on, breathe first. Don't try and speak, it's gonna be okay."

Sobs choke themselves free from Roman's lips as Remus coaxes him forward, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and pulling him nearly into his lap. He sets Roman's head in the crook of his neck and keeps murmuring reassurances, stroking his hands up and down his brother's spine.

"Remus—"

"I'm right here, Roro. Don't you fall away from me, not again."

"I can't do this—"

"You can. You have to, Ro, I can't—I can't hold all of this by myself, you know I can't. Come on, just breathe with me, okay? I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. You're gonna stay right here, with me, and we're both just gonna breathe and let this even itself out." For indeed, Remus is trembling too from the force it's taking to restrain his nails from digging into Roman's back. Even now, there is too much energy thrumming inside him, two vessels forced together and it's not sustainable, none of this is. "I'm right here, Ro, you gotta let me be here for you."

"It hurts, Remus," comes the whisper against his neck, "it hurts so much and I don't know how to make it stop."

"I know, Roro, I know."

"I can't do this anymore. It's too—I can't. I just can't."

"You need to let us help you, Ro. I know, I know," he says, quickly hushing Roman when he cries out in pain again, "I know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"I can't!"

"I won't let them hurt you, not again. I promise." He tightens his grip. "Just—just hold on for me, okay?"

"I'm so scared, Re. I'm so scared."

"I know. Me too."

The two of them stay like that for a long, long time. Long enough for the room to grow cold as the sun goes down, long enough for them to start to shiver from having expended so much energy just to stay in each other's arms.

"Here," Logan says softly, so softly so as not to startle them, "I have a blanket for you."

"Thanks, Lolo."

"Of course."

Roman eyes him warily as he approaches, blanket held out unfolded between the two of them like a peace offering. Logan offers him the gentlest of smiles and drapes it over them. He retreats to a safe distance where the rest of them are, still watching, still waiting.

"You stayed," he croaks, throat weary from overuse.

"Of course we did, kiddo," Patton murmurs, "we were so worried."

"We wanna make sure everything's okay, Princey," Virgil agrees, slumping down a little to make himself seem like a smaller target, "that's all."

Janus, scales glimmering from his bare hands, wordlessly holds up another blanket.

It takes another long pause for Roman to nod, but he does nod, and perhaps that makes all the difference.

***

"Come in, please," Logan says, smiling when Roman shyly knocks on his door. He steps aside so Roman can shuffle through. "Sit wherever you'd like."

"Even on your bed?"

"Even on my bed."

Roman looks at it, clearly tempted, before he decides to only partially push his look and sit on the floor, his back against the bed. Logan just chuckles and comes to sit next to him, getting comfortable before holding out his hand.

"It's not a trick," he says when Roman just looks at it, "will you let me hold your hand?"

"Why?"

"I'd like to." When that just gets him another look, he lets out a small sigh. "I'm…concerned that in my failure to realize how much you were struggling, I've cultivated a relationship between the two of us that is a great deal more adversarial than it needs to be. I'd like to amend that by offering you comfort, both emotional and physical. So…I'd like to hold your hand."

"…oh."

"But if that's something you're not comfortable with yet, I understand."

"N-no, I didn't—I didn't mean—" Roman splutters for another second before he puts his hand in Logan's—well, he more lets it flop in his direction like Logan might take it back if he lets it go for too long.

"Thank you, Roman." He covers it with his other one and pulls it into his lap to cradle it gently, raising an eyebrow at Roman's noise of surprise. "What?"

"I, um…didn't know that's what you meant."

"Is this alright?"

"U-um…yeah. Yeah, it's…it's okay."

"I'm glad." His thumb strokes soothingly over Roman's still-trembling knuckles. "Can I ask you something?"

"Aside from that?"

"Yes."

"Sure."

"Are you…is it possible that you're touch-starved, Roman? Shh, shh, easy," he soothes when Roman tenses immediately, "my apologies, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"I—um—I don't—"

"No tricks, Roman, I promise. I'm only asking because I want to help. Here: is it easier to just nod or shake your head?" Roman nods. "Alright. Can…are you?"

He nods again, his mouth twisting up to hold back a sob. Logan quickly squeezes his hand, still stroking over his knuckles.

"Thank you for telling me, though I am sorry to hear it. If…if it's alright with you—and please know you can say no or shake your head and I won't bring it up again—may I help?"

He likes to think that the work they've put in to making it easier to spend time together without it feeling like a fight or an interrogation is what makes Roman nod. He's unable to keep the grateful smile from spreading across his features, nor the way he scoots a little bit closer so their sides press together.

"Thank you."

They sit together like that for a long while. Long enough for Logan to start running his fingers up and down Roman's arm, long enough for him to squeeze his hand when Roman's grip shivers and shudders, long enough for Roman's head to drop onto his shoulder, breathing heavily.

"That's it," he whispers, turning his head so his nose brushes Roman's hair, "you're doing so well. It's alright. Is this still okay?"

Roman nods.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he can't help himself from asking, "I would've helped, I would've done this earlier."

"…I was scared."

It's not a surprise to hear, not truly, but Logan can't stop the slight pang of hurt. Quickly, he moves past it; Roman has been so terrified of asking for help for so long, he will not give him the opportunity to be further hurt by this. Instead, he carefully lifts Roman's hand to his lips and presses the smallest kiss to his knuckle.

"What were you scared of, little one?"

Patton had always warned him about asking questions, said at some point he might learn something he wished he hadn't. This…is not one of those times, as he does not regret learning about Roman's terrifying nightmares, but he does…ache.

"If ever you need to be reassured that something like that will never happen," he manages, voice slightly hoarse with Roman's confession, "please, little one, let me know."

"I don't think it'll happen anymore."

"Perhaps not logically, but fear is rarely logical." Roman shifts, caught out, but Logan doesn't give him time to murmur an apology. "It's alright, I understand, and my promise stands."

"You mean it?"

"Of course I do, Roman."

***

"Go on," Roman whispers when Janus, Patton, and Virgil don't say anything for too long after he's explained himself, "just get it over with."

"May I hug you?"

His head snaps up. Janus is looking at him with that foreign soft expression again and he—he can't have heard that right.

"May I hug you," Janus asks again, holding out his arms, "please?"

"I—um—sure?"

Janus stands and hurries—hurries?—over to wrap Roman up in his arms, pressing a kiss to his temple and Roman is confused but Janus is warm and solid and there are more hands than he expected and he's—he's going to cry again, isn't he?

"You're gonna overwhelm him, J."

"Too late for that, I think," as Patton and Virgil come closer too, "oh, kiddo…I'm so sorry we didn't know about this sooner."

"I know that was on purpose, Princey, but…" He runs a hand through his hair. "Shit, I didn't—I didn't know we were—that you—fuck, I didn't know we'd fucked up that badly, I guess."

Roman glances at Patton, who looks so upset that he doesn't even call Virgil out on his language. "I didn't know how," he manages, just as Patton reaches up to brush a tear from his cheek.

"You shouldn't have had to go so far for us to notice, and that's on us."

"But I should've said something—"

"But you didn't to try to keep yourself safe," Janus interrupts, his own voice thick with tears.

"…yeah."

"Will you tell us, now?" Patton wraps an arm around the part of Roman's waist he can still reach. "If we do something that hurts you?"

"Don't feel like you have to promise something if you don't think you can," Virgil adds when Roman looks even more terrified at the thought, "just…know you can tell us, okay?"

"Okay."

"There's no replacing you, Roman," Janus says, leaving no room for argument, "not at all."

"Not even with your monologues?"

"Not even with my monologues."

"Can we hug you too, kiddo? Please?" Patton has to keep himself from beaming when Roman nods, quickly ducking over to wrap his arms around both him and Janus properly. "Oh, kiddo, I'm so sorry."

"Move over, Princey," Virgil teases gently when Roman tries to lean against the wall, "I'm the one who gets to cuddle you, not the wall. Hey, hey, shh, it's okay—c'mon, let's all be a puddle on the floor, okay?"

"I like floor puddle plan."

"Me too."

Roman is crying too hard to say he agrees, but he thinks the boneless way he slumps into the embrace is as good as anything else.

***

"Hey, Remus?" Roman whispers in the middle of the night as the rest of the Sides slumber around him, curled up on the massive mattress with fluffy blankets and soft pillows.

"Yeah?"

"You were right."

And because Remus is a good brother who loves Roman so very, very much, he doesn't even hold it over his head. He just smiles, leans over to bonk their foreheads together, and tells his brother to go the fuck to sleep.

***

A new chain holds the scales together, forged in longing and heartbreak and strife, borne of an old magic far more ephemeral than whimsy and fantasy. Tendrils of roses curl up the sides of a golden dish, affixing it to links of courage and loyalty. The Imagination heaves a sigh of relief. The sweet smell of petrichor wafts over the exhausted landscape.

The scales stand balanced once more.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[ppenguinpperson]

Without thinking, Siffrin says, “I’ll kill you.” The words leave his mouth before he even understands them. When he does, his eye goes wide, horror dawning upon him. Why did he say that? He doesn’t want to kill Loop?? Why would he want to do that?? What's wrong with him??? “I perfectly parry your blow and survive,” Loop shrugs.

Siffrin isn’t sure what loop they’re in right now. 90, maybe? That number feels terribly wrong, though. Both too small and too big at the same time.

They’ve spent an eternity in this town. They know the House like the back of their hand, having walked down each hall a thousand times. Every crack in the wall, every useless trinket, every torch; all of it is engraved within their mind, sure to never be forgotten. So, it can’t only have been 90. They know too much to have spent that little time here.

A bitter smile creeps up on their face. Despite it being ‘only’ their 90th time looping, it’s still not over. ‘Only’, because they know it’s far from the last time that they’ll wake up in this meadow.

This will go on and on until he forgets what the counter inside his mind is for. He already forgot his family’s names once, who’s to say he won’t forget again? That he won’t forget who he is?

Or worse - what if he forgets who Loop is? Will he forget that he has someone to remind him of these things?

… No. Siffrin’s memory is fickle, but he’d like to think that he knows himself well enough to say he won’t forget Loop. He can’t say it confidently, but still.

Siffrin perks up at the thought of Loop. It has been some time since he last talked to them in person. He doesn’t even call them that much anymore… Ah, well, they’ll understand. They’ll probably just say something like “You’re back?? I was starting to think you were serious when you threatened me with bonding-divorce!!! Thank you for giving me a second chance, I promise I’ll go to bonding-counseling with you once you escape these loops.”

On autopilot, they get up. The meadow looks the same as always. Their talks with Mirabelle and Isabeau are a blur, same as the walk to the wishing tree is. This part of the script is the easiest, they’ve long since stopped trying to look for any changes. It’s always the same.

Just as everything is always the same, there’s one thing that never is. Loop might not have noticed yet, but Siffrin has; they’re not the same Loop that they met at the start. Every now and then, they catch him by surprise and say something that he’d never thought they were capable of saying back when they first met.

It could be that they’re just showing him their ‘true self’. He hasn’t even known them that long. Maybe they’re getting comfortable around him, taking off their mask bit by bit… but that doesn’t sound like Loop at all. He’s known them long enough to semi-confidently say that they’re changing. Just like he is.

Wordlessly, the traveler sits down across from Loop before Isabeau even left the scene. Their hands are in their lap, legs crossed, leaning against the tree. Their pose rarely changes, but enough so for him to notice.

“Well, well, well! If it isn’t my precious Stardust!” Loop speaks, clasping their hands together. Their voice turns to an imitation of hurt. “I was starting to think you’d forgotten about me.”

Siffrin hides under his hat. “I was busy.”

“You know I’m here to help you with that, right? ‘Helpful Loop, always here to help with the loops!’ Or have you forgotten?”

He bites the inside of his cheek. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to stop himself from answering a question that there’s no right answer to. He feels like a dog getting scolded.

A beat of silence. “I can’t always do all the talking, you know. You should try it sometime. You should get yourself your own Stardust – someone that never contributes to the conversation, so you have complete control over it! It’s really something. Gets boring sometimes, but you’d at least get to practice your conversational skills. Stars know you’re lacking.”

Without thinking, Siffrin speaks.

“I’ll kill you.”

The words leave his mouth before he even understands them. When he does, his eye goes wide, horror dawning upon him. Why did he say that? He doesn’t want to kill Loop?? Why would he want to do that?? Why is he saying something he doesn’t think??? Sure, they were annoying him, on purpose to add, but?? He doesn’t want them dead???

He opens his mouth to speak again, but nothing comes out. His mind rushes to find something to say to fix this situation.

“Just a joke, haha, laugh now please” “...r haters” “Did you hear something? Huh, must have been the wind”

But nothing comes to mind!!! Crab!!! No, no, no!!! Loop is his only real companion these days!! They’ve been by his side for all of the 90 loops he’s been through!! Not ‘only’, but!! 90!!! They’ve been with him, and he just possibly ruined their relationship with this stupid, stupid joke, that he doesn’t even know why he said in the first place!!!

“Who said that” “Anyway did you see me catch that fish, pretty cool right” “I’m like super hungry right now do you wanna eat Bonnie's snacks together”

No… he can’t salvage this. This is beyond repair. He visits Loop for the first time in however many loops, and he says THAT??? Of all things?? They’ll never want to see him again if he doesn’t say something right now, but he can’t!!! He’ll be all alone now. No guide, no confidant!! All alone!!! Because he spoke without thinking!!!

He shuts his mouth. He feels a tug on his-

“I perfectly parry your blow and survive.”

… What?

“What??”

“You fight with a dagger. I parry your blow, and I survive.” Loop shrugs, “You didn’t even scratch me.”

Siffrin stares at them, dumbfounded. They… parried it?? That’s impossible. He’s defeated so many sadnesses, big and small, and- the King!!! He’s defeated the King!! If he can’t parry them, surely Loop can’t either. He’d take them down in one blow!! He wouldn’t give them the chance to parry, if they were ever to fight!!

Wait, no- why are they parrying?? He just threatened to kill them and they’re roleplaying?? What???

His face has twisted into something grotesque. He feels the corners of his mouth move, his eyebrows furrow, his eyes crease, but he cannot will any of this to stop. The thread he’s hanging on by is thinning by the second. If Loop were to put a mirror in front of him right now, he’s sure that it would snap.

Because he doesn’t know what to say, he says, “Okay.”

Loop puts a hand in front of where their mouth would/should be, their eyes creased. “Aww, did you really think you could sneak a hit in like that? Sorry, Stardust! You’ll have to try harder than that if you wish to so much as scratch me.”

They put their hands back in their lap. “Now, how can I help you on this wonderful new loop?”

[chaoxfix]

prompt 15,"did you hear me?" !

happy birthday friend!! may it be a fun filled day!

---

Tails has been glued to his communicator for hours now. 

Occasionally, Sonic is sure that he’s taken a break to blink, maybe even to munch on the pile of snacks Sonic left next to him. But other than that, nothing. 

Not that Sonic has been here the whole time, of course. Once he saw that Tails was busy, Sonic went on a quick jog through Emerald Coast to give him some time to finish up whatever genius invention he was cooking up. Oddly enough, no one was around anywhere near Emerald Coast, leaving him with plenty of time to catch up with some of his little animal friends. (They’re doing great, thanks for asking.) Station Square was just as quiet as Emerald Coast, too. A few people were out and about, so Sonic waved at a few people who didn’t seem to notice him. Kids, mainly, and focused pretty intensely on a video game they were playing. There were a few adults, too. Positively glued to their phones, those guys – but these days, it’s par for the course. Sonic usually gets a few of them to look up, though. 

But by now, that was hours and a half-baked adventure ago. Now that Sonic’s back, he’s surprised to find Tails still exactly where he was, which is why he gets a strange prick of worry in his stomach as he thinks back through his trek through Station Square. 

They couldn’t possibly be linked, right? 

But… Tails isn’t even tinkering with something. Seriously, who is this kid, and what’d he do with Sonic’s little bro? 

Sonic perches on the wing of the Tornado, watching and waiting for any sign that Tails has even noticed him. 

Nothing. Not even an ear flick or a tail swish. 

Man. Whatever he’s focused on, it really does have all his attention. 

Enough is enough, Sonic decides – and skillfully hops down until he is instead perched on the coffee table. Toes teetering off the edge, but perfectly balanced. 

To Sonic’s surprise, Tails doesn’t even look up. 

“Earth to Tails,” Sonic says, moving closer. Tails doesn’t blink. 

Sonic’s brows furrow. “Did you hear me?” he asks, stomach starting to sink. “Tails? Hello?” 

He waves a hand in front of Tails’s face. Nothing. 

Aw, man. This could be bad. Really bad.

Sonic blows through his teeth, flexes his fingers, and slowly reaches for the communicator. It’s silly, but he knows how much Tails usually booby traps his gear. Sonic should be bracing himself for military grade spy-work. Actually, maybe it’s not too late to loop in Rouge for this?

No, too late, already committed. Sonic steels himself, then yanks the device out of Tails’s hands.

For an instant, Sonic considers it a success because the device doesn't blow up the instant it leaves Tails's hands. However, it quickly tips back towards failure when Tails pitches forward, eyes rolling up in his head. 

“Okay, worse, that’s definitely worse,” Sonic mutters. He sets the device down without looking at it – Chaos only knows what was on that thing – then sits down with Tails propped up in front of him. “C’mon, buddy, you awake yet?” 

Tails’s ears twitch. 

It’s probably not a good sign that even that is such marked improvement. Still, Sonic lets out a sigh of relief, then scoops him up to hug him to his chest. “You’re gonna be just fine,” he says. “Just wake up, okay? Whatever’s going on, I’m gonna need some backup.” 

That seems to do the trick. 

Tails’s ears prick up, and he cracks one eye open. “Backup?” he says, voice sounding faint and far away. “What for…?” 

Sonic laughs, half anxiety, half relief. He ruffles Tails’s bangs. “I’ll fill you in once you’re all there,” he teases. “For now, just promise me you’ll give screens a break until we figure this out?” 

Tails glances up, where his communicator is sitting on the edge of the table, giving off a strange staticky sound. He looks tempted, suddenly, so Sonic waves a hand in front of his face to keep his attention. “Hey! Seriously, I just free you from that thing and your first instinct is to go back?”

Annoyed, Tails just bats his hand away. “Is this just another intervention on screen time?” 

“It is when it’s actual hypnosis!” 

Tails opens his mouth to argue – but closes it just as quick, lips quirking to the side. “...This whole thing better not have messed up my Minecraft session,” he finally grumbles, but doesn’t reach for his communicator again. To Tails's credit, he does still seem pretty out of it, and he's always a little grumpy when he first wakes up.

Besides, at least he's awake and talking again. Still, despite his relief, Sonic can't help but shake his head, a nostalgic look on his face. “You know, I think I actually predicted this a couple’a years ago…” 

“No way, you don't get to claim that," Tails says, knowing immediately what Sonic's referring to. "You predicted we’d do this to ourselves naturally, and this is clearly Eggman tech.”

“I dunno…” In a flash, Sonic is upright, grinning with hands crossed behind his quills. “You get the same look on your face when you’re coding for too long.”

Tails scrunches his face up in an adorable pout. 

Sonic just grins and pokes his nose. Then, he offers him a hand up, hoping Tails is feeling well enough to stand and get back out there. “Now c’mon,” he says cheerfully. “You’ve gotta help me prove your theory right.” 

Tails only pouts for a second longer. But as always, he takes Sonic’s hand and pulls himself to his feet. It seems to shake off the last of the communicator’s hook on him, and once he's up, he stretches out and limbers up, already getting ready for an adventure.

“Okay,” Tails says, already looking much more alert. “You said hypnosis… How serious are we talking?” 

“All of Station Square for the last couple of hours,” Sonic says. “That’s bad, right?”

“Yes, but…" Tails trails off, sounding confused. "You have a communicator of your own. Why weren’t you affected?” 

Sonic rubs the back of his head. He definitely won’t admit that he almost never checks his phone unless someone calls twice. Instead, he glances to the beautiful day still happening outside the lab window. The bright, sunny, windy day he’s still itching to get back to. “If I have to guess,” he says with a playfully heavy tone, “I’ve just touched too much grass today.”

Tails punches his arm, and Sonic thinks he probably deserves it.

[ohbo-ohno]

im thinking... somehow johnny gets a short clip of ghost yelling or disciplining recruits like the big fucking man he is and sends it to you and through the cameras they can see you replaying the video over and over again... so they notice you like it, you like simon yelling and being serious.. they come home after the mission and slowly wheedle the kink out of you... our girl just LOVES big men in authority doesn't she, needs a big man to just get all the thoughts out of her pretty head and get fucked

ugh im sorry this one took me awhile to get to. its SO insanely good, and i kept wanting to wait to give myself time to properly enjoy it yk?

this is another one of those asks that stands perfectly on its own. im gonna write a little more of it so i can get the thoughts out of my head lol but like. this is already perfect

simon who's sooo careful with the way he behaves around you. wants you conditioned in a very precise way, so he monitors all of your reactions, all of his responses, and both of those things from johnny too. tries very hard not to do something unless he's already predicted at least a possible outcome

and he knows you enjoy rough sex. you're dripping every time he or johnny fucks you, and they're rarely soft. he knows you get a little wet at the way he treats johnny, sees you squirm and clench your thighs.

he doesn't expect you to get off on him being mean. and that's what the clip johnny sends to you does. the clip is him tearing in to some recruits, just absolutely tearing them a new one. two of them cried, like it was bad. and then that night, johnny giggles and shoves the app with your camera into his face and...

there you are, in bed. you're beneath the blankets, but the way your hips move is clear as day. and your face is scrunched up in a way simon recognizes from the many times he's fucked you. and sure enough, sitting right next to your head, is a video of him playing on loop

he hadn't even known johnny had sent it to you

simon is so excited to get home to you. to him, this shows that you're ready for the next step in your sexual relationship. you won't take everything he says as a threat, which means he can be a little more unhinged with you.

he snaps at you a few hours into their return. not over anything major, and from far enough away that he's not crowding you. but he's using his lieutenant's voice, not his strict Dom voice, and you go red at the tone. he thinks he sees your knees buckle

its a very long night for you.

[manytoonepoet13]

Fragaria Memories - Ever Red Visual Analysis Essay

"I still remember, the sun, the memories, and the lack of guidance, shown in this cross section of this red pieces/fragment. Truth/reality, even in time, you can't take it away. Forever certain, this is something I will not forget."

(Duration of Analysis: December 2023 - April 2024).

A. Wiki (Intro Tab: Overview of the story section).

The mains of each bouquet is shown through little fragments with the colour of their respectively bouquet. Though, note that Cielomort and Badobarm's fragments are showcasing their entire face, this shows that they're a whole, complete, untouched by the corruption of the anxiety brought by the seeds.

Now, look at Hallritt's fragment, a part of his face is cut-off right across the surface of his fragment, "Cross section of this piece/fragment". His purity - something so precious to him was taken away, not only that, but it was reversed. He was reversed, giving birth to his alter-ego, this evil Hallritt. Additionally, the part that was taken out matches perfectly with the "evil" part shown in the mv - this being a little clue for what is to come.

B. Music Video (Analyzing frames that feel important).

From what I've noticed while watching the mv, it has this margin that maintained throughout the mv, which is rather reminiscent of a camera, befitting the line "I still remember", 0:55, that would pop up along the intro. The connection here is that he's recalling these memories as if he was watching them through an old videotape. Though since his and his friend's memories don't align, it felt like an error in his mind (think of a movie where you told your friend about a certain scene and they disregard it, saying that it didn't happen in the movie and told you about a completely different scene instead), therefore causing the glitches we frequently see in the mv.

Another connection to the glitches is this shot of the Fragaria crest with impeccable lighting, I may add, making everything look oh so great before the "camera fell" and the lenses shattered (shown in various scenes throughout the mv but it's more prominent in this scene), the everything became lone, corrupted and gray, 1:05 - 1:11.

Who was holding the camera you might ask? Hallritt. After all, the ones who get to hold the camera are those who get to tell the story (quote pointed out by my best friend).

This is due to the reason that 1.) This is Hallritt's pov and he's the main character and 2.) He's too optimistic - Merold, 2024.

He's always excited whenever he's given the chance to help, he's passionate about fulfilling his duty that it feels like his joy and love for his job and the people around him is overflowing. This is why he's holding the camera, the one who got to tell the story. The one who caused all of this.

The next scene needed to be taken into account is the overlapping clocks 1:28 - this may symbolizes the, as the name suggests, overlapping of timelines. - As we know, there are two separate timelines, told by the voice dramas and the songs. The latter somewhat foreshadowing what happened in the past timeline.

Other than that, I have a feeling that maybe, just maybe, there might be a timeloop in Fragaria.

Now, why do I think there's a possible timeloop?

CLOCKS. While yes, the clocks may mean that time has passed and they can no longer turn it back, they could also mean that they are running out of time before the loop restarts.

I'll assume that it's the seeds' corruption on Hallritt that allowed this timeloop to start. And this aligns with the seeds' form of corruption as well, anxiety.

This timeloop theory is more on a figurative and psychological sense rather than a literal and physical one. This will be in relation as to how Hallritt was feeling upon being corrupted.

Since the seeds bring anxiety, I believe we should take a look at that. -Many people have repetitive anxious "thoughts" that trigger fear responses and believe they will never be able to get rid of them. - AnxietyCentre.com. "Can't take it away." "I still remember."

This is where the timeloop theory comes into play:

Hallritt's been corrupted, and is now having these anxious thoughts (memories), about causing the destruction during the first timeline. And now in the current timeline, he's once again having these thoughts because he still remembers what he has done, and while he's trying to make a change, he's also anxiously counting down the minutes until it's gonna happen again.

When corruption shall resurface.

After all, the current world is already corrupted, shown in this close up of the Fragaria crest now rusty (shown in various clips). The knowledge and sight of this may be Hallritt's trigger, causing him to have a fear response.

That response being the glitched out image of him and his friends, 3:29, that paired with the margin, makes it look like an actual videotape that one could watch (as pointed out earlier). This may contribute to the next scene where the words "Live in memories" appear, as well as when the color of the background went from, red to white, the red again, only for the transition to take place (which looks like the opening and closing of the eyes, most probably Hallritt's), switching to white once more, then a blur, then gray, with each of the other knights' crest orbiting around Hallritt's before disappearing one by one.

What I would like to pay attention to is the thing is, despite Merold's crest being flashed first, his crest disappeared last, giving the impression that he knows something. Given that earlier, 1:27, him and hallritt were together in the middle of the line "Can't take it away". Other than that, later on, 2:43, he transitioned from his usual color palette to black and white. (Your Melody may give us some insights as to what that may be).

The transition from red, to white then black represents how Hallritt vies the current timeline, how every was so vibrant, rendered to black and white. (This, I believe, is where his repetitive, anxious thoughts is shown).

Other than that, my bestfriend also pointed out that the mv is basically just red, gray, then glitch and repeat, which gives way to the timeloop theory pointed out earlier.

I would also like to point out that in the second timeline, it's not Hallritt that is corrupting the world, it's the world that's corrupting Hallritt. Let me explain; the overlapping of timelines I've mentioned earlier plays here: It is because of that fact why the seeds are still having power over the world, why the Fragarian crest is already rusty, because despite the fact that the timeline restarted, the overlapping caused it to be corrupted by default, further triggering Hallritt's thoughts, leading him to think this will only last until the "end" of time.

"Ever Last".

He can never forget it, he will always be tied down by the ribbon's hold as if he was on a leash, bring everyone down with him, 3:42 - 3:45.

But he doesn't want that, no.

He doesn't want to hurt people, especially since it was all his fault, because of his "lack of guidance".

So he'll just glitch himself out of the picture, just so he'll not cause any more problems, 3:49. After all, that's what he is, right? A glitch?

But if there is one that's certain, "this is something I will never forget".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The knights ask for nothing in return for their love."

[taekeofyourclothes]

pretty woman. (for)

pairing ex boyfriend!v x reader conspectus a love that annoyingly stayed for him... but left you. word count 0.4k words notes been playing bts like on loop recently, what are y'all doing recently? jfgsjffkfkkf happy reading!!

"you're the prettiest man!" you'd compliment taehyung, a giggle bursts out his mouth as he snuggled near you - "and you, y/nie - you are my pretty woman!" he breathes softly to your neck. the memory is a bittersweet melancholic dream he has, and he awakes no longer having you nearby.

taehyung's spotify is currently playing gnash's i hate you, i love you on a loop since forever, the lyrics "do you miss me like i miss you?" and "feeling used, but i'm missing you.." i miss you? the three words that formed a cacophony of memories with you in his mind,

"i hate u, i love u" wasn't even the only song he'd been listening to the last couple months - he had created a playlist with almost a thousand songs that reminded him of you - filled with songs that he remembered you said were your favorites, songs that just perfectly described you like "dress" by taylor swift or "close to you" by the carpenters.

it's been awhile since the mutual break up yet despite taehyung's positive assurance to his friends of his wellbeing.. would you really say someone who has barely moved in their apartment, been listening to a spotify playlist of breakup angsty songs, been crying themselves to sleep at the memory of the split where they had to feign "being fine" to subside the increasingly heartbreaking effect you had on him and appear cool.. yeah taehyung was very much: not fine.

ever since he'd just been scrolling your profile and losing his mind noticing you had deleted all your photos together, and seeing the new ones with your new guy friend.. "who the hell was he? and why was he so close to you? and god damn how beautiful you looked", taehyung thought. not realizing his fingers due to reflex double tapping the photos, the notification reaching your cell.

"@ thv liked your photos. 19s"

"@ thv liked your video. 12s"

taehyung only realized when he received a message from you, and he panicked apologizing repeatedly - unnecessarily providing reasons such as "i just was spamming my feed and your photos happen to be here" and yada yada yada, your nonchalant response of an "ok" leaving him flabbergasted. he let a beat pass before sending you a bold text saying "are you thinking about me?" the text made you scoff, but you weren't taken aback that much.. you always adored taehyung's daring character, adored it so much it began to irk you until it hurt you and you hurt him. the relationship ending was for the better, the break up was mutual - and so you left him on read.

taehyung sighs at this, and everyday is the same as today. with him stalking your page, watching you rise and thrive without him - he learns to love you like this, from a far.. until he accepts that it was over and that you were no longer his pretty woman.

© live laugh love kim taehyung, good boy.

[sheliesshattered]

I finished my lightsaber bag last weekend, but work has been so hectic that I haven't really had the time to take photos and write up a post about it until now.

The finished bag, when closed like this, is 39" long and 5" wide. It fits my lightsaber (hilt with 28" blade attached) just perfectly, and it's so nice and soft and padded inside that I feel like my saber is protected from most things it would encounter either at home or out in the world. I wouldn't check it as airline baggage in just this bag, but short of that it feels pretty secure.

The top flap closes with a large strip of brown velcro, which makes it quick and easy to get my saber out when I need it. That faux-suede fabric I used for the lining is a bit grippy, and the interior of the bag is too narrow to get even my tiny raccoon hands into, so it takes just the right amount of force (no pun intended) to draw the lightsaber out of the bag. Even with the flap open, there isn't much risk of the saber just falling out of the bag.

The fake pocket flap in the middle of the bag, near the right edge of the above picture, hides another bit of velcro, which allows me to close off the bag at a slightly shorter length by folding the top flap down even further, until the velcro on the left side of the picture meets up with the underside of that flap. I didn't get any pictures of that, since it's really only usable when I separate the hilt and blade of my saber, which is just fiddly enough that I prefer to keep them attached when I can. But it does give me the option, say for a Disney trip, to remove the hilt and wear it on my belt, and then have just the blade in the bag, with the bag being a little bit shorter and lighter and easier to carry onto rides and such.

The pocket at the lower end of the bag is sized for carrying the hex wrench and little screws needed for attaching the blade to the hilt, and also has enough room to tuck the charging cable in there as well.

I've taken to storing my fingerless leather gloves clipped onto the bag, just so they're handy for practicing with the saber every evening. I've built up a good repertoire of flow arts combinations, training on both hands pretty equally, and find that my frequently achy wrists and shoulders are much happier for the routine. I'm hoping to get video of it soon.

When I'm not using my saber, it lives in the bag hung from a hook on the wall. I might like to eventually have a dedicated hook at something closer to waist level, but for now this higher up coat hook works just fine.

The carrying strap took a little bit of fiddling around with to figure out what was most comfortable (even though the whole thing is easily under 5lbs, probably closer to 3), but looped through the top ring and then clipped at the bottom seems to be the winning combination. I can pull the bag on over my head, but the easier thing is to unclip the big S carabiner from the lower ring. The strap isn't permanently attached to the bag anywhere, so I can experiment with other arrangements or even other straps in the future, if I want to.

The chalk guidelines from when I put the lettering on are still showing up somewhat in these photos, but in person they're hardly noticeable. I may do another erasing pass on them at some point, and I still haven't decided if I want to do some weathering with fabric paints or just leave it as is. Generally I'm really happy with how it turned out, but it's nice to know that I can easily make a few more adjustments to it if I feel like it.

But the next thing I want to spend some time working on is the lightsaber hilt itself. I picked out this particular combination of pieces knowing that I wanted to do some practical weathering on it. The hilt is made from aluminum with a nice matte black finish over top, and I've seen lots of examples online of the difference that sanding that surface makes to the overall look of the saber. Now that I've gotten to know the saber and figured out where my hands naturally want to hold it most often, it's just going to be a matter of getting in there with some sandpaper and starting to take off that black paint in a few places.

I've also been toying with the idea of adding a bit of heat bluing to the emitter using paints, and I think all those details will really help it look more like the 'fragile antique' that the bag proclaims it to be. Modifying my saber like that is a bit daunting, but I have a pretty good idea of what I want the hilt to look like when it's finished, so it's really just a matter of carving out some time to take pieces of the hilt apart and strategically attack them with sandpaper.

And besides that, the only thing I still need for Star Wars Nite is the actual tickets to Star Wars Nite, lol. We're coming up on the end of our third week with our new client, and we have a better idea of when the major milestones and deadlines are in April and May, so hopefully Jack and I can sit down soon and figure out when we want to head back to Batuu.

[rebelrobin86]

Valentines Day

(Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader)

Robin

Robin was anxiously tapping on the desk of Family Video, impatiently waiting for a distraction. Steve noticed his best friend and work colleague was worried about something. "What's wrong?"

"It's Valentines Day tomorrow and I have nothing for Y/N." Robin sighed. "Y/N's amazing and I really want to give her something special, but I have no money and I don't wanna lose her!"

"You couldn't lose Y/N, even if you tried, she loves you. She'll understand." Steve attempted to reassure Robin. "Seriously Rob, don't stress over it. Are you both still coming to the fair with us?"

"Yeah." Robin responded, unconvinced.

Y/N

You walked through Hawkins Valentines Day fair with Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, Chrissy, Eddie, Steve and his date. Admiring the different rides and stalls.

You enjoyed walking round the fair with your friends, but you were so happy to finally get a moment alone with Robin. "Happy Valentines Day Robin." You smiled, giving her a card and a small wrapped box.

"Thank you." Robin read the card and then opened her present. It was a beautiful silver necklace with a heart pendant.

"I wanted to give you my heart, Robin Buckley. Will you be my Valentine?"

"Yeah. This is beautiful I really love it." Robin smiled, as she put the necklace on. "Thank you."

Nancy ran over to you. "Hey guys, we're all doing the loop rollercoaster, you coming?"

"No." Robin answered immediately. "But you should go, I know you like rollercoasters?"

"Yeah, okay." You replied, not sure why Robin didn't want to go on the rollercoaster, but didn't question it.

"See you later Robin." Nancy smiled, as you went to queue for the ride, ready to have fun with your friends.

Robin

Steve stayed back with Robin, while everyone else went on the rollercoaster. He comes back from the food stall, after finishing some churros, as he sees a frustrated Robin attempting a basketball game at the stall.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to win won of those giant bears for Y/N, because like I expected, she got me the best present ever and I have nothing!"

"Robin?"

Robin continued rambling. "Actually, nothing would probably have been better, because all I got her is a stupid handmade card. I feel like the worst girlfriend ever."

"How much money, you spent on this?"

"Too much!" Robin whines upset as she uses both hands and launches the basketball, which bounces off the net.

"Give me the next ball." Steve confidently says and he grabs the ball. Robin takes a step back and watches. Steve perfectly got it in the first time. "That's how it's done."

Robin points at her favourite bear "We'll take that one please?"

Robin carries the bear. "How'd you do it?"

"You forgot I used to play basketball. Don't worry, you won the bear remember? I just watched you do it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, now you can actually enjoy the fair with us, instead of murdering one of America's favourite sports."

Y/N

You come off the ride, seeing Steve and Robin holding a teddy, almost as big as them. Hearing them both laughing and joking, you happily run over to them.

"The ride was so fun! It was really funny, Chrissy screamed so loud!"

Eddie added "And crushed my hand from squeezing it too hard." Chrissy laughed.

You squeeled. "Oh wow, you won a giant bear, that's amazing!!"

"I won it for you actually." Robin smiled.

"For me?" You excitedly replied, your eyes lit up as Robin gave you the giant bear. You held and hugged the bear, then hugged your girlfriend.

"This is the best present and Valentine's Day ever! Thank you, Robin."

"Happy Valentines Day! Hey, wanna go on the big ferris wheel?"

"Sure!" You exclaimed as you took Robin's hand and ran over to the ride with her. You two even get your own private pod.

Robin gave you a homemade card she drew bees on saying "bee my valentine" You giggled at the cute drawing and pun, you tell Robin how much you love the card and your new bear, that requires their own seat.

The sun sets as you reach the top of the ferris wheel. Robin smiled leaning in and kissing you at the top of the ferris wheel.

[ab-crochet-club]

Some Words About A Project - BMO cute little purse with Jake plushie charm

A project for Blue, which I think came out quite well. Didn't follow a pattern for most of this, but for some: the cone tip, the heart of gold little wallet thing, and Jake the dog. Other than those, just worked off of pictures of other crochet BMOs and various images from the show. The yarn Lion Brand 24/7 cotton, I find it works quite well for the sort of projects that I mostly work, nice colors and feel and very little splitting and all that. Also, I used here a 3mm hook, the purse is rather small, can just carry maybe a phone, some dollars/credit card, and maybe a few other small items. One might like to try with a 4mm hook or so for a bit larger interior.

All is done almost entirely using single crochet and slip stitch, with some occasional half-double or double crochet. Also it's mostly built up in one big piece, with many small bits to be added on, and a fair bit of embroidery. I use the chart here for the lettering.

Beginning using Jade color yarn we start with BMO's undercarriage, a simple rectangle.

Now, at this point I worked around the rectangle, in the back (or maybe it's the front? The one 'above' anyway) loop along the long sides, and just sort of doing my best along the short sides. And then just work around a lot to start to build up the body. This is probably the more easy approach, not having to build several pieces and attach all together, but it does make for a somewhat poorly shaped body; that is, we get a fair bit of 'stitch drift' heading up the body, and the corners are rounded, so all together it doesn't quite have the boxy shape, more of a slightly deformed and rounded rectangle cross section. Once it is all complete it seems to look pretty nice, but some might prefer to do it a bit more 'proper' by building the sides all as separate rectangles and then sewing together in the end. That may also make other steps easier, for example the embroidery and attaching the buttons and such; for me it could be a bit difficult at times working into a cramped space. Experiment eh.

Enough rows to comfortably fit the 'O' and the red button (a simple magic ring start with a few single crochet rounds).

More rows, just enough to make room for the 'M', probably six, also starting to add the directional buttons and thinking about placement for the green (a simple disc like the red, but smaller). I made several attempts at the yellow directional buttons, but ultimately was unable to feel happy with any one-piece results, they just all came out terrible, maybe someone has a nice technique for that but I ended up just doing two thin rectangles and sewing one over the top of the other; it's fine I think.

View from the back about this time; along the side we have the 'O' and the 'M', in front pretty much as the previous image, but the yellow directional button and green round have been sewn in and also the light blue triangle. Triangle can be made by working like a rectangle but not doing turning chains so you lose stitches as you go.

Nearly to the top now! All side lettering is complete, and the speakers are there, just need a bit more for the face screen. It's at about this time that I start thinking about doing this as a purse rather than a doll, and also notice that it'll be way too small for a purse, so start to think about adding a hat for extra interior space.

FACE! Also a lovely star sticker for BMO, who is brilliant and pretty. The screen is made as a rectangle, then the face is slip stitched on, and finally the screen is slip stitched onto the body. Don't recall now exactly how the star was made, here is a video which seems close enough, others are available.

Another look at the backside, not so much going on here. Mostly all done using slip stitch through the body.

A look at BMO's golden heart; it's little, but can just about hold a couple credit cards or folded bills.

The strap, not perfectly added, messed up a bit, but it came out pretty well I think, can easily attach various decorations and is a lovely Navy Blue. Starts with along chain, then working single crochet along the chain, then double or maybe half-double while skipping a couple stitches in between to create a nice sort of window pattern, then finish with another single crochet row.

Went with the cone hat, like Football. Like much of my work it's a bit sloppy and just sort of doing stuff and thinking it'll probably be fine, probably. Here we attached Orange at the top and single crochet around with some increases at the corners to create the brim, also some skips along the short sides to go around the strap. Once the brim is complete, attach the Orange again at the top and this time work in and up, distributing some decreases so that you build up into the sky with the rectangle gradually turning into a square and finally closing up. Lastly, build a witch hat without the brim and sew it at the top so as to have a nice pointy cone.

Here we are with the lining added in; this may not be necessary if you carefully weave in all of your yarn ends, I couldn't be bothered and anyway it seems super cute with some nice space lining inside. Quite low on interior space, but maybe enough for a too cute little bag.

Lovely. Next, build a friend to attach onto the strap, I went for Jake with headphones, which shine.crafts explains well, link to their ko-fi shop where the pattern can be obtained:

Looking good Jake!

Final result: Totally Algebraic! (I say final, I think probably fine without the arms or legs, but I'll add them if Blue wants me to).

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

Princess Victoriana stared at her phone, hoping for a message from her mother that demanded that she return to the castle at once. However hard she prayed it would happen, it was probably an impossible hope. Her mother and soon to be stepmother were scheduled all day for wedding planning, and there was nothing more that Claudia enjoyed than forcing family bonding time. So while her mother hunted for the perfect dress, Victoriana was stuck with her grandfather all day. Normally she enjoyed her grandparents, but they weren't even doing anything interesting. Grandpa Ewan was talking with his weird friend in dusty old Arkhelios, where absolutely nothing interesting ever happened...outside of the occasional murder it seemed.

Arkhelios was where her sort of friend Theo lived when he wasn't at school in Pleasantview, but he had declined to come home for the weekend to help prepare for a coven interview with his aunt.

It wasn't like she didn't adore her grandparents, as they were the only side of her family that she knew about. Grandma and Grandpa were nice and spoiled Victoriana rotten, and her uncles Oliver and Travis did the same, but Victoriana was bored senseless here. Her mother always told her that it was good practice for when she was bored to tears in meetings as queen, but Victoriana never believed her. Being queen could never be boring: her mother was just wrong.

"Vicki, put down your phone and go play with the other kids," Ewan ordered, gesturing with his hands towards the group of Durant children milling around. "You might make a new friend that you could invite to the castle for sleepovers, who knows? You'll never make friends glued to your phone all day."

Victoriana scoffed, but her grandfather wouldn't budge.

"Either you put down the phone, or it magically disappears from your hand. I can't be responsible if it never comes back from whatever dimension I send it too either. Its just too hard to guarantee."

Ewan gave a playful wink to Jorah as Victoriana scowled at him. Jorah had no doubt that his friend could perfectly control the magic he wielded, which only made Jorah more curious about what exactly Ewan could do.

He'd been hosting almost weekly barbecues with Ewan and his family since the day they had met. Valerian had been thrilled to hear about Jorah's new supernatural friend and insisted on having them over as often as possible. Together, the two couples had bonded over their love of family and tried to get together whenever they could find the time. It was a bit tricky to get Ewan and Anna's children to attend, given that the oldest two were adults and little Travis was in boarding school with Theo most of the time, but Victoriana was often babysat by her grandparents. She was still hesitant to join the younger members of the large Durant family, but it seemed to be Ewan's mission to find his granddaughter some non-regal friends.

"Come on, Vicki, we have a cool video game we can play."

Susanna was the gentle spirit in Jorah's family. Cindra's son and daughter were just as gentle and friendly as Susanna, but they didn't share the same DNA as Susanna's siblings, so it was harder to notice. To his chagrin, Jorah's other children didn't seem to share their sister's compassion. Hamnet was wild and hyper, running loops around the house and inviting wild dogs in the house to play with. There was a chance that he might settle down as he grew older, but his sister Judith seemed hopeless. If Jorah had to guess, all of her genetic inheritance from the Durant family came from either his mother or older sister. Judith didn't play well with her royal cousins, and she didn't tolerate annoyance well. Susanna was more than willing to embrace Victoriana, but Judith only saw a royal snob looking to play with her things.

"It's too nice out for video games," Jorah declared. "Why don't you guys play outside where I can keep an eye on you until dinner's ready?"

"It's a shame that Anna couldn't come today," Jorah commented, watching as the children scattered in the yard, reluctantly kicking a soccer ball around.

Ewan shrugged.

"She sends her regards, but something at work came up. Hopefully she'll be back soon enough tonight to try some leftovers."

Jorah paused, mindlessly flicking the burgers while he thought of how to phrase his thought.

"Is there any way that she can skip work?" he asked quietly. "I mean, her working means that someone's going to die, can't she just...not go to work today?"

Ewan gave his friend a frustrated look, but he understood the concern. It was probably the most frequent question a reaper was asked by a mortal. Interactions with mortals didn't happen often, but when they did, it always came down to this question.

"We talked about this, Jorah," Ewan reminded his friend. "The people are going to die regardless; we're just there to help them pass peacefully. So it would be much worse for everyone involved if Anna didn't go. Those lives can't be saved once they are sent to a team to reap. It's the way of things."

"Yeah, I know," Jorah sighed. He'd been expecting that answer, but still hoped deep down for a different outcome. "I get it. It's just hard to wrap my brain around it. People are dying in Pleasantview possibly at this very moment and your wife is there to help them die. Plus, there's a team just like yours working in Arkhelios who are standing by just in case Valerian or I die. It's weird."

"You did ask to know," Ewan reminded him gently. "Not many other mortals know about us for this reason. You're sure that you're okay with being our friend, right? Anna and I would understand if-"

"Don't even question it," Jorah interrupted quickly. "Sorry, sometimes I just get stuck on a thought and twist myself into knots trying to resolve it. You and Anna have been great to get to know, and we have so much in common. I haven't had this much fun with a friend since I was in college, Valerian too. Please, feel free to tell me if I make you uncomfortable. That's the last thing I want to do. Truthfully, ever since my sister blew up our family, I don't seem to have many friends at all. I was once really close to the Bellamys and now...now we don't talk, really."

"Ah well, I guess I can stick around then," Ewan teased. Jorah tossed him a beer, which the reaper accepted gratefully.

"So if you don't need to eat to sustain yourself, can you get drunk?" Jorah asked, opening his own bottle. He'd ask anything if it meant changing the subject from his own loneliness. "Do you need to stay sober in case you get called into work? I won't be offended if you can't."

Ewan took a sip of his drink, still keeping a careful eye on his brooding granddaughter.

"Trust me, it takes a lot to get a reaper drunk, so no worries," he replied. "We're connected to our once living remains as reapers, so we are able to experience faint echos of the human experience. Our reaper forms are designed to be efficient and powerful though, so I'd need to drink more alcohol than you have in all your house to be unable to perform my job. Besides, barring some kind of emergency, I have the day off. Gee- er, the Grim Reaper that is, is really good about flexible schedules. I have to pick up Travis later on from school today, so I have the time off."

"Oh? How is life with only one teenager left in the house?" Jorah asked. "Things are such a zoo here, I don't think I'll ever have free time until the day I die."

Ewan shrugged.

"It's a lot easier being a grandparent," he said. "I try to teach Vicki what I can and then send her home. It's a lot harder trying to reach a troubled child in full teenage rebellion. You can never do anything right, no matter how hard you try. I love Travis just as much as my other children, but he can't see it. He has too much of his mother in him and I don't know what to do."

"You know who his biological parents are?" Jorah asked, searching his brain for any memory that discussed Ewan's adopted son. Jorah had long thought about adopting more children himself one day, so it was something he had at least asked Ewan about.

"Of course I know," Ewan replied. "He's my biological nephew. My sister's kid. He's the son of two very powerful and dangerous witches, which unfortunately gets him into trouble pretty often. Anna just had a meeting on Monday about his latest incident. If Claudia wasn't the queen, he'd probably be expelled from school by now. He just needs guidance, that's all."

Jorah nodded. He knew all too well what the inside of a principal's office looked like because of Judith. When she wasn't tearing holes into the classroom puppets, she was getting into spats with classmates and pushing people at recess.

"I know what you mean," he sighed. "I try so hard to be supportive and encouraging, but there's still a wall my Judith refuses to lower. You try so hard for your kids and sometimes, all they do is fight you on it. For the life of me, I just don't understand how to reach that girl."

"Right? We've given everything to Travis. He's my son and I love him just as much as Claudia or Oliver. He has questions about his biological parents that I can't answer, and I get it. Really, I do. I have so many questions about why my biological father is the way he is, and what that means for me, so I know. I've tried to educate him on what i know of his parents and he just gets angrier."

"Hmmm. Have you tried asking other reapers for their opinion? I would ask Roman, personally if it were my kids. His mom was a nightmare and he seems to have gotten over it. Or at least he seemed like it the last time I saw him face to face. I don't really see him more than once a year when he drops off the desserts for charity. He might have some insight if you ask. I could introduce you if you want."

"Ah, I'll pass," Ewan said politely. "I don't want to step on the Arkhelios reaper team's toes by befriending half the country. We're supposed to try to not stand out, and let's face it, I'm the dead king of Pleasantview and the Queen's father. I have white hair and a dead princess for a wife. If I went too public, a lot more eyes would be drawn to me and the reaper program. We try not to present ourselves in public unless we have to. I'm also not sure that Claudia would appreciate me stopping by her old boyfriend's house to ask about parenting advice."

"Oh yeah, Claudia and Roman used to hook up when we were younger," Jorah recalled. "It drove Abe crazy. That one time it was even on the news and he almost had a full-blown tantrum. I'd nearly forgotten about that."

"Well, she certainly hasn't. I'd never hear the end of it if she heard I was chatting up Roman."

Abe paused, unsure of what to say when he got to the Durant's front door.

"Hi, my husband is going crazy because your bitchy sister won't let him see his kid?" "Could you ask Maura to let her wife's affair partner meet his daughter?"

Nothing sounded convincing enough. If Abe were in Maura’s shoes, he'd probably slam the door in his face too. Georgiana wasn't legally Roman's child and there was little he could do to change that.

It needed to be changed though. Roman was a mess of guilt and self-loathing, convinced that he was about to lose his son to a blood thirsty coven of witches. If Abe could just fix one of the many worries of his husband, surely Roman would improve. There was no way to throw himself at the mercy of the Maricourts, so he'd asked his sister to help. Lucy was currently grilling her godson with possible questions and good legal answers in Pleasantview, which was the best Abe could hope for his son. Lucy would teach Theo to protect himself and return the witches' questions without incriminating himself.

So, unable to continue to watch his husband deteriorate, Abe had walked over to the Durant house to speak with Jorah. If anyone would be sympathetic to Roman, it would be him.

"Abe? How are you?"

Jorah watched as Abe Helios-Bellamy crept nervously into the backyard of the Durant house. It was truly a shock to see him again, and without a clear reason. Nervously, Jorah leaned against Ewan, trying to look nonchalant about his visitor.

"This is my friend, Ewan," Jorah said quickly, interrupting Abe before he could answer Jorah's question. "He's visiting for a barbecue. He's from out of town, you wouldn't know him."

"That's great, Jorah. I'm happy for you."

Abe stood in nervous silence for a moment, while the two other men returned his stare.

"This is awkward, I'm sorry," Abe said quickly. "I don't want to ruin your barbecue or anything, I just wanted to talk to you quickly about something. I can come back if you're busy."

"No, don't worry about it," Jorah replied. "We're just waiting for the burgers to finish and chatting about the kids. Why don't you join us? Here, have a beer while we wait for the food. Come join us."

Abe nervously took a bottle from Jorah, glancing at it briefly before opening it up.

"Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me," he said. "I wasn't sure if you'd see me or not. Things have been strained between our families for a while now."

"Not by my choice," Jorah replied. "I know that Roman regrets the affair; you can see it all over his face. The cakes he brings for Georgiana are all made with a father's love. It's not fair what Maura is doing to him. It's wrong."

"That was exactly what I wanted to talk to you about," Abe said. "Roman's not in a good place lately. Theo had another episode and now he has to answer to a Pleasantview coven. I don't know what they can do to him if they don't like his answers. Maybe he might get expelled from school, who knows?"

"So he's taking after Roman then," Jorah laughed. "It's Bellamy family tradition to get expelled from a Pleasantview academy."

Abe shot Jorah a dirty look, one that Ewan mirrored. The last thing he needed was Jorah treating the situation as a joke.

"Sorry, I was just trying to break the ice. Valerian always tells me my nervous jokes aren't funny."

"Yeah, well, we're hoping it won't come to expulsion," Abe continued. "Roman's been freaking out about it, and it was recently Georgiana's birthday and...well, he's not himself. I'm really worried about him."

"So Princess Georgiana is the biological daughter of Roman Bellamy?' Ewan asked, looking concerned all of a sudden.

Jorah assumed Ewan's concern stemmed from this information being scandalous and shocking.

"Yes. Well, no. Sort of," he rambled nervously. "She is, but we're not supposed to talk about it. She's legally Maura’s daughter no one is supposed to know. Don't tell anyone, I don't want it to become part of the Arkhelios rumour mill."

"I'll take it to the grave," Ewan replied cryptically. "And he's never been allowed to see Georgiana? That doesn't sound like Maura. She's always been such a sweet girl and a great friend to Claudia. This doesn't sound like her at all."

"She's not exactly a teenager anymore," Jorah pointed out. "Do you see her often since she became queen? Losing her family changed everything for her. She's incredibly rude at family dinners, if she even comes at all."

Ewan weighed this new information in his mind.

"Does Claudia know about this?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," Jorah answered. "She and Ulyssa got into some kind of fight about it the day you and I met. Ulyssa was pretty shaken up after, even when we'd teleported back to Arkhelios."

"I see," Ewan murmured, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his messages. "Abe, let me see what I can do for you. This goes against everything the Siew family stands for and I know my wife won't be happy to hear of this. I'll make some calls. Vicki? Get your things ready to go, we're leaving in a few minutes."

A gleeful princess rushed into the house to grab her things, happy to be going anywhere but Arkhelios. Abe gave Jorah a confused look as Ewan started dialing his phone beside them.

"Who is that guy and why does he think he can help?" Abe whispered. Beside them, Ewan waved and then dissolved into a shower of magical energy along with his granddaughter.

"Some one who may be able to help." Jorah answered, still looking at the magical remnants of his friend blinking in and out of existence. "He knows some people in high places."

"Why would you let some random guy handle the situation?" Abe asked. "You're the leader of the Durant family, and Ulyssa and Georgiana are Durants. Can't you just talk to Ulyssa yourself?"

Jorah frowned at the idea of trying to use any kind of authority on Ulyssa. His sister was stubborn and set in her ways, and definitely wasn't going to listen to her brother about anything, especially Georgiana.

"No, she'd never listen," Jorah said with a resigned sigh. "It's better to see what Ewan can come up with. I have a feeling that Maura might listen to him."

Abe tried to hide his disappointment, but failed.

"Oh, okay then. Uh, thanks I guess."

Abe looked nervously around his surroundings, unsure of what to say next. He'd been hoping that Jorah would take some initiative and help personally, instead of pawning off the task on some random guy who might know Maura. If he asked something of the Helios or Bellamy heirs, they'd get the task done in seconds. Unfortunately, Jorah wasn't that kind of leader. Who even knew if that random guy would help Abe, or if Jorah would follow up with him?

This was a dumb idea. I shouldn't have assumed that Jorah would do anything to help Roman. I have to figure something else out.

"Hey, thanks for the beer, Jorah," Abe said. He looked at his phone for a moment, pretending that an urgent text had just come in. "Sorry, I've got to cut this short. Roman needs help with dinner. See you around though. Good talk."

Jorah stared at Abe's retreating form, feeling oddly disheartened. Abe was disappointed with him as a leader, and Ewan had left to try to deal with the situation himself rather than talk it through with his friend. Was Jorah in the wrong in this situation? If so, how did he change?

The smell of burning hamburger jolted Jorah from his thoughts. Let's finish lunch before I set the yard on fire. There's plenty of time to feel bad about myself after.

[joelletwo]

notes on TIME. themselves now benoted and referenced out appropriately. much of them just banger quotes from the essay

kintoki (tokiko) (placeholder thought during the swords intro that inherently set up a link between time and castration to me bc i have spent weeks thinking about the meaning of kintoki as the noncastrated ideal/the imposter as such as his prosthetic appearance in mantama) (u may notice thats the same youtuber who did the Comedy video i linked ages ago. i have been getting much mileage out of him.) sword castration - "dispossession disrupts temporality."

takasugicentrism "Takasugi is driving the time loop." (i did talk about this in the tags.)

(everyone else finds ways to move on but gintoki hates to leave ppl behind.

does gintoki respect ppls agency. yes with otose shouyou takasugi. no with all his antagonists and other ppl who want to die? <- still unsure

gintoki simultaneously the witnesserrrrrrr (unacting observer or unflinching observer past where action can help him save someone) and the forgetterrrrrr (sop animation) gintoki doesnt have goals of his own (didnt fight to protect the country but everywhere his sword reaches is his country) (literally just vibing) (this one written at the end of the essay but i was still trying to do the same thing as this section. figure out the gintoki-side of why utsuro-sugi fill the other driving half of the manga. why are they that for him. what ARE gintokis motivations. and do we EVER see his interiority.)

progress/movement in personal time needs personal integration.

(divisibility disproves infinity of personal time; indivisibility in kile ouroboros sense of a perfectly integrated I = noncastrated impossible ideal of infinite personal time?) (post-note: perfectly integrated and indivisible and questionably possible I = line?)

(utsuro resists (could hyperlink the kintoki post again) integration/external impregnation; flip side, shouyou welcomes impregnation but cannot satisfyingly access its results; psychoanal mother 0-1 (from this video)? more gintama preoccupation w the possibility of mtf transitioning?))

when it is fished (unwillingly, I think) out of Takasugi’s eyelid. narrative time cannot move until Takasugi’s eye becomes Gintoki’s sword

(gintoki/takasugi pov [later swapped with shouyou/utsuro pov]) (again my eternal question. why do we get takasugi pov thoughts so many times. and do we ever get gintokis. and what the hell does that mean (evil things). i dont remember what i mean about shouyoutsuro. thinking that any time we see shouyou outside of a shouka sonjuku flashback is more about what utsuro thinks about shouyou than about shouyou? definitely about the final swapping and their weird four-way identity crisis math thing)

Thus half of the loop is about Gintoki always standing up again, always waiting for Takasugi to face him, and the other half of the loop, that is, its motivation, is about Takasugi working up the guts, or whatever he does throughout the series, to finally come at Gintoki* face to face. Gintama doesn’t actually timeskip until Gintoki kills Utsuro in silver soul. Birthing time looks like an escape from the time loop.

(ouro self-fertilization = the way out of ouro [THEORETICALLY])

(cyclical time is measurable -> iterable/buildable)

[koizumi time diagram (not the post but the comment)] <- not actually useful here just my landmark for characters engaging with their own story's fucked up experience of time and getting fun and mathy with it. nonperfectly coherent/stable timeloop with two phases self-satisfiedly diagrams out to linear time briefly intersected by an infinity sign which ive always wanted to use as a model for mapping out more complicated time stories

narrative time twists into defeatist cycles intentionality versus ruination, “I” as capable actor versus “I” as acted upon I cannot act, and yet it acts on me. My despair at the exterior world which rivets me to itself quickly translates to despair in, at, my self. his loss is even more infinite for the narrowness of its scope mathematically irrational (x(sin(1/x))) <- WHOA

part where i basically stopped taking notes and enjoyed the ride lol

(sakamoto "hope" argument -> i have used sakamoto before (very very ending letter monologue abt miracles) as the mouthpiece for gintama merging two paradoxical ideas (idealist pov and materialist pov) to reinforce each other rather than to disprove)