#i just needed it in my life for reasons
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to speculate about the sexual and romantic undertones of celebrities’ professional relationships
#thinking about the larry thing again. all my life i’ve been a believer 🙏#obviously many times of misguided beliefs were there before i like. learned how the world works. now i practice rpf discernment#but quite frankly there’s nothing like the drug of looking at star wars ot promo and being like man.#carrie fisher and harrison ford definitely fucked didn’t they.#and then for carrie fisher to drop the princess diarist and be like yeah me and harrison had the most torrid 70s affair#you can possibly imagine.#VINDICATIONNNNN#quite frankly they are the reason i still believe something similar happened with gillovny. we just need the memoir drop#rpf quiz
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None of our hands are clean
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangshan#mianmian#The secret meaning behind one of the jin members scuttling off is:#I couldn't make three people work out in the remaining panels and per my rule of '3 attempts and take a different approach' he had to go.#Sometimes there are meaningful reasons why something happens in the background. And sometimes it is like this.#Let's just say he saw what was about to happen and got out of there before mianmian started throwing hands.#Okay no more delay. The sheer boldness to call WWX a killer in a room full of people who wear their war body count as a badge...#It's about hypocrisy yes - but it is also about how the narrative shifts on the same action depending on the frame.#Because at the end of the day...the blood on our hands is still blood on our hands.#Both the deaths on the battlefield and the deaths of the Jin's abusing the Wen remnants are still deaths caused by another.#They are also deaths that - depending who holds the frame - are noble acts to protect others.#But it isn't supposed to be about who was right and who was wrong.#It is about the need to be seen as the victim to avoid culpability.#Because if you aren't responsible you don't have to be held accountable. You don't have to grow or change.#If someone takes all the blame then there is no need to reflect on your own faults.#We have to protect our fragile ego from the mirror lest it shatter and we have to remake it anew.#Horrifically enough...even if WWX spared the Jin guards or even never ran into Wen Qing#He wouldn't have been able to escape being the scapegoat. He downfall was set into motion a long time ago.#My goodness...What a deliciously tragic story Wei Wuxian's first life was.
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Oh, oh.
Yes.
My favourite “Merlin?” Very underrated moment, in my opinion.
#arthur had no reason to call HIS MANSERVANT LIKE THAT#WHAT WAS THE REASON?!!#the sweet ‘r’ rolling between his tongue and teeth LIKE PLEASE#arthur had just said to him there were no limits to his intelligence and then he sweetly calls him like that?#yes it was to apologise#NO I DON’T MAKE THE RULES MY MAN ARTHUR HERE IS SMITTEN#TOTALLY AND IRREVERSIBLY#and merlin doesn’t react AT ALL to THAT arthur’s tone of voice#so yeah#your honour the jury the president and annis’ kingdom#it’s not the first time arthur calls merlin like that#oh i’m so weak ARRRGGGGHHH I NEED TO SHAKE THEM#TO CRADLE THEM IN MY ARMS AND TELL THEM TO JUST SNOG AND SHAG THE LIFE OUT OF EACH OTHER’S#OH THIS IS SICK#*cough*#okay i’m fine#NO I’M NOT#merthur#merlin bbc#merlin#arthur pendragon#bbc merlin
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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OWEN WILSON and TOM HIDDLESTON behind the scenes of LOKI S2
#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#lokius#loki#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki spoilers#if owen didn't already have my heart the fist bump fakeout would've sealed the deal lmao#god he's so 🥺🥺#and the two of them truly have the most incredible chemistry i'll ever see?? can't believe how lucky we were to have experienced this show#love how the universe saw i needed thanksgiving plans and dropped the assembled ep a week early so just another reason to love life 🙏🥰#loki s2 spoilers#marvel#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs
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Kokichisake-onna
*Happy anime narrator voice*: “And thus, Kokichi has once again successfully evaded the dread of emotional openness!”
Also here’s a random selection of derpy concept doodles for this comic :)
Thank you byeeeeee
#gonta gokuhara#gokuhara gonta#kokichi ouma#ouma kokichi#kokichi oma#featuring shuichi xD#ougoku#awwgoku#my art#I wanted to post it on ougoku day but work and migraines piled up on me and I really wanted to give this one the time it needs!#If you know the legend you know why Shuichi is panicking XDD#Look into Kokichi's eyeballs in panel 3 and see the sad hope against hope and yet! he still actively sabotages any comfort coming his way!#Is Gonta just kind or is his compassion a warped mix of compulsive fawning and misplaced empathy that keeps inviting menace into his life?#there's a secret sadness to this silly comic lmao and it's those poor sods' autopilots#I say laughing but by god do they need help#anyway enjoy! I might try posting more of Gonta ships I like - like this one; or with Shuichi; and some others 8D#btw I LOVE Gonta's scariest sprite - fantastic detail bc it does look like a snarl and ofc a wild child would imitate animal expressions!#and 2 out of 3 times he uses it he's actually NOT angry but hyped or frustrated - both cases also smth I appreciate for certain reasons#his actual 'serious angry' sprite is far more toned down in comparison
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You wake up due to a an odd discomfort around your groin, you feel around and touch something soft and plastic?
You turn on the lights and find yourself lock in a small, pink chastity cage
You panic a little, you’ve never done this before, you try to pull it off and it won’t budge and you notice just how little you can touch your member now
You get hard
It hurts
You look around the room and see an envelope next to a small pile of clothes and some odd plastic?
You open the envelope
My dearest love,
You wronged me, the fact you wouldn’t know who I am makes it that much worse
So I thought it’d only be right if I punished you
As you might’ve found out already I’ve securely locked you up and only I have the key
If you ever want it back you’ll need to do some things for me first
Mod course you won’t be allowed to touch your memeber until I release you
Next you will need to wear the clothes, and insert the remote anal vibrator I provided to you
You will then need to watch any porngraphic content I send you over the course of the next 2 weeks, dressed up and wearing the plug
I’ve made a separate number where we can chat
I expect you to use the proper respect when talking to me
I expect you to thank me for teaching you how to be a good girl
And I expect you to drop whatever you’re doing whenever I send you a message, and if I so ask you’ll put on the shuttle clothes I gave you, put in the plug, and watch whatever degrading smut I sent you while I control your ass
Do this like a good girl for 2 weeks and I’ll take off the cage
Mess up once, and I’ll flush the key down the drain
Oh and don’t think to get it removed or anything, I got that onto you without you noticing once, and if you get it off I’ll know that means you’re ready for your second round!
And trust me you wouldn’t like the second round, something tells me that you’d hate losing your freedom of movement
So now be a good girl and dress yourself up already love~
I’m waiting
Oh! And one more thing!
I can and will change the rules at any time, for example one I thought of right now: the two weeks only count down if you spent the whole day in cute woman’s clothing, so if you ever put on those nasty clothes you’re wearing right now, the day doesn’t count and you still have 2 weeks to go
Good luck cutie! Try to keep me happy~
#I hope you won’t disappoint me#if you do end up taking off the cage it’ll be so sad#you won’t see the sun again for so long#but at least I’ll have my doll in my house#so it all has its up sides#so cutie do remember the choice is up to you for whether you keep it on or it gets removed#in all honesty I’d prefer it if I had a life-in-doll#.#force#forcefem#i-like-talking#..#big post time!#hope y’all enjoyed!#sorry that I haven’t been posting or responding as much lately#I’ve been *busy*#but still I’ve read all you’re messgages and they’ve all made me smile!#thank you all so much!#(you’re the reason I do this!)#(though sorry for still not thanking you one on one I need to get better at that)#(just know there’s a pretty good chance *you* are the reason I made this post!)#(so thanks! and I hope you had a great day! and will have another one!)#(goodnight cutie!)
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same teacher, different lessons
transcript
#sonic the hedgehog#dr. ivo eggman robotnik#miles tails prower#sonic frontiers#SPOILERS. THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS COMIC BY THE WAY.#SONIC FRONTIERS SPOILERS#smiles gently I can not believe I let sonic the fuckign hedgehog ruin my life#(I can I totally can)#hi <3 if you follow me because I drew this sonic comic. don't!#don't do it! follow me bc I'm funny and hot and devastatingly smart don't follow me bc I draw sonic stuff. bc it won;t happen again#I mean it. not bc I dont like or want to do sonic stuff. but bc I am literally in the middle of a job rn#one that I want to invest 100% of my time and brain in#this comic is actually an effort to win my brain back so I can do my job lol#because I finished miss penny snapcube's streams of this game and it force fed me emotions#I just! I just thought sonic would come tell eggman abt sage!! idk seems like something he'd do!!!#and also the whole thing abt letting the characters move on and have a future and change and develop#vs Killing My Baby Little Guy Daughter For Like Ten Minutes#thematically interesting! also for some reasons I had. a pretty easy time drawing this#I was mouthbreathing galloping like a horse to finishing this. Because I Need To Work#I didnt expect to have a good time with these designs tho idk why. probably bc I most suck shit at drawing animals#but to be fair yet again sonic and tails are little guys. theyre animal but theyre also like dudes. also sonic's design is kinda perfect#as far as character design goes he's really pretty goo- wait I made a continuity error hol on#okay. okay I fixed it. no problem. no matter 's all good now#okay. I go sleep now. today has been very noisy. but this actually got me through it okay#thank you sonic the hedgehog. that was pretty cool of u#have a good night guys! absolute freedom is probably really really sad#long post
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You're missing something. Surely it wasn't that important, was it?
Full pieces under cut
(Warning for blood and just overall nightmare horrorish. Slight gore?)
Surely not.
#You know something is wrong#But not what questions to ask to get the answers you need#immortal au#dca au#dca fandom#dca fnaf#dca sun#dca moon#sunshine draws#immortal au art#a piece utterly dca focused?? who would've thought the day would come#i have tried to post this like 3 times now because tumblr keeps screwing the images order and deleting the cut for no reason at all#im fighting for my life here#tw blood#tw nightmares#tw slight gore#tw horror#<ig? idk#im so tired im this close to just posting this no cuts just wham to the face i swear#immortal au art🎨
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continued rook-lucanis sketches from the last week or so <3
#if it looks like i only draw lucanis its untrue. im actually cutting out a lot of rook backstory specific doodles. ..#<- guy who can only draw either her rook or lucanis rn#the other companions i will get to you. neve especially lord in heaven#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rook#tyche laidir#spite#my art#dragon age#dav spoilers#anyways anyone else really think that rialto bay is just so romantic with how it bridges antiva and rivain i personally cant stop thinking!#i need to have this game i need to understand what becomes of rook and him. a woman who loves the sea so dearly that lucanis suddenly#cannot bear to take her away from it. lucanis who could not imagine his life outside the crows and how could she ask he leave illario behin#two people so obsessed with their job and their lives that even their endearments relate to it#two people who love their birthrights. which one of them is supposed to be able to give that up?#desperately need something bittersweet AND BEFORE I JINX IT I DONT MEAN IN A TRAITOR WAY.#there is a reason i named their playlist pregrieving
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Ridonculous Race but Noah is friends with Owen part 9: Teamwork makes the dream work!
Don't you LOVE IT when Noah gets to play the stupid game? Don't you LOVE IT when Noah and Owen work together and Owen isn't left to do everything himself? Don't you LOVE IT when they mutually support each other and care enough about each other to give it their all??? Personally I love it when that happens
No transcript cause there's no dialogue. Instead have scrapped doodles for this part that I refuse to leave in the jail of the IbisPaint canvas
#total drama#total drama ridonculous race#total drama presents: the ridonculous race#tdrr#total drama noah#td noah#total drama owen#td owen#noah is friends with owen#Starry makes art#CAN I BITCH ABOUT THIS PART. ILL BE BRIEF PROMISE#the first picture was drawn in JANUARY. IVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE THIS PART SINCE JANUARY#but I struggled for 2 reasons. 1: for the life of me I didnt know how it should end and 2: for the longest time I thought I needed to draw-#-a n//emma reconciliation. and my God did I dread drawing the damn reconciliation#WHICH I DID DRAW!! IT EXISTS!! BUT I DIDNT EVEN LIKE IT I DIDNT THINK IT WAS NECESSARY!! SO I FOUGHT FOR MONTHS OVER WHAT ON EARTH COULD BE#-A BETTER ENDING TO THIS PART. I DREW THE RECONCILIATION JUST TO TRASH IT. THIS PART HATED ME#but here we are. the ending to this part is a callback to the high five of the first episode but with so much more passion behind it#that's as good of an ending this part gets#I think the next part's the last one. I promise that one will go much smoother than this one
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#carmilla#carmillaseries#carmilla series#just saw someone talk about 'growing up with the show' and now I need to know because I genuinely thought 99% of us were uni students#I was 21#this is also making me realize how many of the people I met through the fandom are just. not in my life anymore#not usually for any dramatic reason! we just drifted apart#but I swear most of them were in their early 20s too. there were some even older fanartists who were really big in the fandom#the artist who did the How Is Laura comic comes to mind
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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them
#pokemon#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon jacq#n harmonia#pokemon rei#trainer rei#clai's art#trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason#in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF#but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless#jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible#n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it#but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end#isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways#satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally#or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter#volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk
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did @birdietrait's random cas challenge again °-° yeah... they're quite random lol. rolls/prompts are below the cut! :]
Marius/Sim 1: punk, fantasy, blonde hair, no makeup, gap teeth Nylah/Sim 2: favorite tv show*, bratz (completely missed that one i think lol), brown hair, long hair, gap teeth Sachiko/Sim 3: cyberpunk, prom, red hair, white eyes, gap teeth
-> * ok ok ok! for favorite tv show i picked The Tribe bc i've been obsessed with the show since my early teens BUT... why have so many ppl never heard of that show? v.v it's literally so good, it's basically the first time i experienced media abt post-apocalypse/dystopia and it became my comfort tv-show to watch. °-° rant over.
#dunno why but when i rolled cyberpunk AND prom for one sim i just had to laugh#also the random number generator really loved the number 38 (gap teeth) for some reason#watch The Tribe pls :x it's really good and surprisingly mature themed for a show meant for teens lol#i mean does it make sense for a virus to ONLY kill adults? not really but they needed that plot device i guess#i have so many cas challenges on my to do list that'll last for a life time °.°#simblr#sims 4#ts4#sims 4 cas#ts4 cas#birdie.rcc#sims cas challenge
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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