#i just need to vent !

[hikikomoriaesthetic]

my problem is I’m too impatient and greedy, I want my soulmate now. I want us to obsess so heavily over each other that we can’t live without each other, ruin each others sleep schedule just so we can talk for as long as possible and then I want to be able to wake up next to them in person, I want to live with them in an isolated place where we can throw the rest of the world away. I’m impatient and way too insane to be suffering from this constant pit of emptiness that aches for someone I don’t even know exists. It’s exhausting.

[kathastrophen]

Not the Werkstattheizung not working a g a i n. Gestern ging sie. Heute sind es wieder nur 14°C und draußen ist es einfach wärmer 😭 es ist so ätzend und jetzt werden wir auch noch in nen Streit zwischen den beiden Eigentümern reingezogen, weil der Eigentümer unserer Hälfte (und dementsprechend unser Vermieter) seit 9 Wochen den Heizungsmenschen nicht bezahlt und sich schön am Telefon verleugnen lässt und der andere Eigentümer ... spannende Ideen hat, wie der Betrag zu begleichen ist. Außerdem muss die Pumpe getauscht werden und ich seh nicht, dass unser Vermieter da zahlungswillig ist. 🤏 this close mir ne E-Heizung zu besorgen. Wir zahlen ja eh seit Jahren nur ne Nebenkostenpauschale und haben noch nie ne Abrechnung gesehen... so what.

[cursecuelebre]

Just because someone follows historical sources doesn’t mean they know everything. Tiktok is a great place to listen to other pagan creators and practioners but my gods when it comes to historical sources fact check it or take it with a grain of salt because misinformation can spread like wildfire. Just be cautious, if you listen to someone speak on a topic research it on your own with valid academic sources.

For instances Hekate’s Wheel or the Strophalos or Inyx is ancient Hellenic symbol not a new age concept, historically it has been dated 1600 BC in the Mycenan Civilisation. Amount of times I’ve heard reconstructist say it’s new age concept of Hekate’s wheel. There is archeological evidence. Even if it wasn’t “ancient symbol of Hekate” she is still associated with it among her Devoutees, I use it. I know plenty of people who use the symbol of the Wheel. If Hekate is fine with her followers using the wheel that’s what should only matter.

Just because someone has different perspective on things it doesn’t mean to be ignorant of their experiences. This goes for many different groups, again just respectfully agree and disagree and move on.

[whovian-on-ice]

i'm really sorry for this please don't read if you don't want to hear my complaining about how shit my life is.

once again i'm having the worst time. i think the saying is that things get worse before they get better or something like that.

it's been years and i could not say one good thing that happend only awful horrible thing.. i'm not exaggerating this time.

the last 4 years of my life have been real shit.

first my grandma got sick and died shortly after. then my cat i know it's not a human but i really loved him and he was so young i was so devastated. after that it was my mom who got sick.. she is still alive but not well... she is still struggling every day. she has one of the worst things that could happen to someone. she has glioblastoma, she had an operation but they could not take everything.. and of course because why not it came back again.. she is getting treatment and for now she is not getting worse. i hope she won't. i'm greatful that she is still with me. we have good days and bad days, when she can't understand what i'm saying like at all. i'm just so angry because this is so unfair ...she is the best person i know. she is sooo good to everyone.. why...

i've been unemployed for 11 months now. which is fine i'm home looking after mom.. helping her. it sounds really bad but i don't even know how i would go back to work i really don't want to... i have so many (self-diagnosed mental illnesses, depression for sure, anxiety but more then one kind, social and health anxiety for sure) i feel like i don't belong with people. and i'm not really good at anything ... i'm really just a useless waste of space.. the only thing keeping me from ending it is that i'm so fucking scared of death... which seems a bit contradicory ... whatever

the last thing.. the reason i started to vent... it seems like my other cat will also die. this cat came not long after the other cat died..(he was called Maci, and this "new" cat is called Picúr) like a miracle came to save me. now about 3 years later we took him to a vet because he seemed hurt he couldn't jump.. it turns out he probably has FIP. we still need tests but the vet did an ultrasound and he said it is probably FIP...

i feel so hopeless when will this torture end.

if you read all of this i'm sorry.

[pharawee]

I'll never understand why people participating in fandom spaces think it's okay to put others down for being passionate and organised about fandom. You're literally in a fan forum spending your time discussing fannish topics, many of which are provided by the people you put down. Maybe just don't.

[kexing]

relating a little too hard to aioon on this gloomy day

i’ve always been the ugly/boring cousin, i didn’t have siblings while growing up but my father has a baby girl now who’s obviously the favorite, i’m just the older loser daughter which caught me completely off guard akdjskdjs i was never really included in friend groups but that didn’t bother me all that much cuz i don’t like groups. i had a very fulfilling friendship for more than ten years tho and now we don’t talk anymore which hurts me daily but i can’t even blame the other person

so where does all that grief go? where do i put it? or should i just let it live in my house like a roommate?

but i know i also don’t make things easier. people try to include me in their circles sometimes yet i still feel like an outsider no matter where i go. no i don’t have kids, no i will NOT marry a man and women don’t want me so i’ll die alone, no i can’t keep a job anymore cuz i’m too depressed and my therapist thinks i’m a danger to myself. what’s that? oh you don’t believe i’m autistic? typical

and you know what, it’s fine. it’s all fine. except that i’m so touch starved, love starved, attention starved that sometimes i don’t even feel human. like i’m losing touch with humanity, with reality and then i feel so fucking empty

feeling emotions can be hella uncomfortable but nothing’s worse than just feeling completely empty. like a massive void, like i’m going to swallow myself and everything else around me at any given moment.

it feels so all consuming it scares me sometimes, the thought that maybe i’m doomed to only cause harm. but i don’t want to, i don’t want to be a bad presence in people’s lives but maybe i’ve always been

maybe that’s why i’m alone. it’s safer for everyone this way

[xproskeith]

TW/advisory: death, dying, medical

Last night was arguably top 2 or 3 worst and roughest shifts of my career. So much happened. So much tied to shitty administration, but also people not knowing how to do their job in the ER. Everything just coalseced in the exact wrong way. I literally couldn't keep both patients stable at the same time. Especially not when I'm trying to fix what the ER fucked up.

My initial patient was supposed to be a 1:1 because of everything going on. But then I had to take an absolute train wreck who was just as bad. And I know that no matter what I did, my patient dying was unavoidable. But it just added insult to injury especially when I knew I wasn't as on top of it as I was supposed to be when the patient should have been a 1:1.

I'm supposed to be back tonight and this is the first time in a very long time I sincerely thought about calling in for tonight. I'm honestly just overwhelmed. And I feel bad and guilty about feeling that way because I feel like I shouldn't be. I'm better than that and more experienced than that. But here I am. Crying on my way home while blasting Oldies Station. Followed by Routines and Ode To Sleep.

I'll go back tonight. Because it's my duty. I need to. Patients need me. My coworkers need me.

As the meme says, the Horrors persist, but so do I.

And so we go.

[promethelice]

Just applied for two jobs I was interested in.

First application had a mistake on it

Second one was completely fine.

Would have just left it but both jobs were related to attention to detail.

Go to widthdraw application 1, accidentally widthdraw application 2

"Oh that's fine I'll just reapply for them both"

Go back to listings to apply

"YOU CANNOT REAPPLY FOR A POSISTION YOU WIDTHDREW FROM"

I am starting to genuinely think they just don't want to give people jobs anymore

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

At least this company had the decency to email me and let me know that they weren't going to be considering me.

I've been ghosted by large businesses so many times that it's difficult to not give up hope.

[naffeclipse]

Does your shoulder feel like this?

It's about to sobs

[halsinsnaturepocket]

God I really need to start looking for another job

My wife wants to transition but wants to wait until she has a wfh job, not that her current environment isn't very liberal but it doesn't pay enough

Ive had managers at my current job telling me for YEARS that they're going to help me get promoted to full time here. It hasn't happened. I'm still stuck at part-time management

But I work at Starbucks, which DOES cover gender affirming care if I sign up for our health insurance, but I'm not sure if it will cover her care????? I have to look into it. Hhhh

[kathastrophen]

.

[chainsxwsmile-personal]

// Fml I spent two days drawing something for someone on artfight and I screw up the right characters for a ship. What makes matters worse is they told me to hide the piece on instagram until I ‘fix it’ when I already have 9 people waiting for their own art revenge pieces

I don’t think I’m gonna be doing artfight next year

[ratguy-nico]

I read this today and many thoughts came to mind so yeah this is another rambling.

'til this day I don't get over the fact that only last year we had the Last Season of The Owl House, the rushed end of one of the greatest series of the decade, that could have mark a new course for many series yet to come, the spiritual successor of another of the greatest series of all Gravity Falls.

The Owl House was released in 2020 just four years ago and it was cancelled in 2022, two years ago, presumable cause it had too much representation for Disney's taste.

This is obviousley not confirm, but everyone in the industry and Dana Terrace herself had made clear that this was the main reason.

All this just 2 years ago, many like to say we live in a time were LGBT+ community had all the representation they need, that everything is gay now days and and that this excess of representation is becoming tedious. And then this is a case from fucking 2 years ago.

It just so sickening, to think that yeah we have representation nowdays but it has to be a certain tipe of rep, it can not be too much, in the Owl House I think there was just one straight couple in the main cast, it has not to be too on the nose, gods forbid for the main character to be gay, lesbian, bi or the non existent trans representation, and it cannot be normal, if you are gay it has to be your main trait, your whole life, you have to have like many crisis as you can and have a whole out of the closet episode, it has to be the revelation of the century.

I still remeber Alex Hirsch puteando a Disney cause they didn't let him do many things he wanted with his own serie, among them the relationship betweenm the two town sheriffs, one of the cutest things in the show, and very funny too.

Alex Hirsch has always been very vocal about he's own despite for Disney as a creator that work for them. And thats why I love him.

I still remeber cartoon network forbidding Rebecca Sugar to say that the Gems were womans, cause that would imply that all the gems were lesbians and that was a totally No No for fricking Cartoon Network, the one everyone point when saying is only Disney the non inclusive one.

(why they never bring this back? what is wrong with Steven Universe?)

Though this end like a tiro en la culata which means backfire cause suddenly the gems were non binary or no gender which was fricking funny cause even more hard to explain XD

This also happened with Adventure Time, another Cartoon serie, were everyone was lost whith the Bublegum and Marcy kiss in the last episode, cause we were told they had a relationship in fricking Season 3 but no, they didn't tell explicitly that they were in a romantic relationship, cause you know... lesbian equal bad.

Their relationship keep getting explore and we had amazing episodes with this two navigating their feelings for each other, the past mistakes in their relationship and how to become better together. But all this while not telling us that they love each other, cause they weren't allow to tell us.

This is merely frustration on my part, I know we have better represantation nowdays, but... is not nearly enough, like I said, theres still close to non rep for ace or trans people, bisexual are getting better, though the rep still is plagued of horrible stereotype and fetization, but this is something lesbian and gays can have manage to avoid yet so what we expect.

So yeah we should celebrate our representation, and not let anyone tell us that is enough or too much, cause til this day the best ace representation I have seen comes from Todd from Bojack Horseman a serie from 2014 that ended in 2020, that set the bar and none had even try to fight, I hope Alastor become a better rep in this front, I really hope so. Lilith made an absolute great work, but sadley cause the serie was cut out we missed a lot of this character T^T

And Im not gonna talk about trans rep cause that's just sad.

I will always hold resentment to Disney cause of what they did to the Owl House, for sure, that something I hold near my heart everyday.

So yeah I totally use this persons post to talk about me me me, and I dont know them so prefer not to involve them in this.

And if you dont notice I keep this Animation Series only, cause theres too many series and I have not watch nearly enough, I know thers some with really good rep and others that are lit hot shit. So yeah the world is wild and full of shit.

Adventure Time 2010-2018

Gravity Falls 2012-2016

Steven Universe 2013-2019

Bojack Horseman 2014-2020

The Owl House 2020-2023

[ficandkaboodle]

Few things can kill your enthusiasm for a hobby the way family who just expect you to do anything can.

[violaceaes]

i dont know if i should cry or throw up or punch someone or what but i cant deal with this now what the fuuuuck