#i just need to have patience on myself and wait for my self to calm down and find some peace

[ladytauria]

an age old remedy

Pairing: Talia al Ghul/Jason Todd Rating: Explicit Words: 5.9k

Content Warnings: Underage

There is an age old remedy for soothing stressed and anxious omegas—one Talia is more than willing to provide, if Jason is willing. Omega Jason Todd Week Day 2: Alpha knots keep omegas calm | Courting without realising | Jason is an unconventional omega - except for when it comes to babies | Unintentionally revealing clothing | Nesting self-care

the first of my fics for omega jason todd week <3

>> AO3 <<

When Jason bursts into frustrated, angry tears for the third time in as many hours, Talia knows something has to be done.

He makes no sound. If Talia were not looking at him, if she had not seen the tears well in his eyes before he dug the heels of his hands into them, she would not even know he was crying.

Her heart aches.

It is just the two of them, save for their personal guard. Damian had left for his lessons a little less than half an hour ago. Jason and Talia had remained seated at the dining table. She had finished her food some time ago, but had stayed at the table anyway, reading through reports while Jason continued to pick at his.

The way his plate has been shoved aside, the food on it only half eaten… it isn’t difficult to guess what has upset him this time.

Talia sets aside her reports. They will keep for a while yet. Jason’s pain will not—or, rather, should not. She has allowed it to go on long enough as it is.

She comes to stand by his chair, resting her hand between his shoulder blades. Jason flinches—and then leans into her hand. He has never turned from her touch, her comfort.

She can feel him shaking. “Come here, pet,” she murmurs as she draws him nearer, guiding his head to press against her stomach. His hands curl into the hem of her shirt.

“I’m sorry.” Jason’s voice cracks under the weight of his tears. “I’m—I’m trying, but I just—I can’t—”

Talia combs her fingers through his hair. “I know, pet.” The gentle voice she uses is one few have ever heard. “I’m sorry.”

Jason reels back. He looks at her with wide eyes. “For what? You… This isn’t your fault, T. You didn’t—you didn’t do anything.”

“That is precisely the problem, pet,” she says, cupping his face, catching his tears on her thumbs. “You have been suffering—and I have done nothing but stand by and allow it.”

Talia had believed that he had simply needed time.

She had been wrong.

She will not make the same mistake again.

“Talk to me, pet. Tell me what’s wrong so we might put an end to it, together.”

“I… I don’t...” He averts his eye, his lip caught between his teeth. His shoulders hunch toward his ears.

“Be honest.” The authority in her voice does not take away from its gentleness. “The only way you can upset me, pet, is by withholding something.”

Talia does not rush Jason into speaking. She strokes his cheeks with her thumbs—prepared to wait as long as it takes for him to gather his words.

After a few moments, Jason rewards her patience. “I don’t feel safe,” he confesses, so softly she almost doesn’t hear him. “I know— I know I am,” he hastens to add, tipping his head back again to look at her. She aches at the earnesty in his face. “But… no matter how hard I try… I just can’t… I can’t make myself believe it.”

She brushes a curl from his forehead.

Talia isn’t surprised. His bath in the Lazarus Pit restored to him his mind as it was before he died. Anything after was lost; only flickers of memory left behind. A blessing in many ways, perhaps, but it also means the peace that he found with her has vanished.

Talia has spent two weeks hoping that, perhaps, he would find peace again—that his instincts would remember what his mind did not.

A foolish hope. Talia should have fixed this before it got to this point. That she didn’t… A mistake. But one which can be fixed. There is an age-old remedy for soothing stressed and anxious omegas—one Talia is more than willing to provide, if Jason is willing.

“Do you trust me, Jason?”

Jason blinks at her. “With my life.”

His immediate honesty makes a smile tug at her mouth.

“Thank you,” she says, and then kneels beside his chair. Her hands settle on his thighs. “It is not your life I am asking for. Do you trust me?” she repeats.

Jason swallows. He looks down at her with wide eyes. His pupils eclipse his irises; only a thin corona of blue-green ringing them. “I…” He stops, wets his lips. And then he lays his hand over hers. “I trust you with everything, my lady. My life… m-my body, included.”

My lady. That’s new.

Talia likes it.

She leaves one hand on his thigh. The other cups his jaw, tugging him forward until she can place the briefest, chastest of kisses to his mouth. His breath hitches.“Then allow me to take care of you,” she whispers against his lips.

He shivers, pressing into her hand. “You… You’ve done nothin’ but take care of me, T,” he whispers. Guilt sours his scent. Talia wishes to cover it with her own—so she does, smoothing her wrist down his side.

“I am your alpha. It is my duty—my honor—to care for you. If you need it, I will provide—happily, gladly. You will allow me to do so.”

It is both order and question; her tone tilting ever so slightly at the end.

A flush steals over Jason’s face, a breadth away from her favorite shade of pink. “Yes, my lady.”

Acceptance and answer both.

“Good.” She kisses him again—briefly, fleetingly, smiling when he chases her—and her hands slip from her skin as she rises to her feet. “Come with me to my den, pet.”

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

Shadow of the Past

Request: Please do “You can’t love anyone. ‘Cause that would mean you had a heart.” with the darkling from Shadow & Bone series. Requested by anon.

Warnings: slight violence, mention of torture, emotional manipulation, angst.

Word Count: 1 K.

Fictober Challenge

Just as you were about to close your eyes and give up from being brutally tortured, you saw a bright light flood through the door of your cell. You raised a weak hand to shield your eyes, wincing at the sudden brightness. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, the light dimmed.

“Did you miss me?” a familiar voice asked, smooth and taunting. No, this couldn’t be real. It couldn’t possibly be him. You blinked, your vision still blurry, and there he was- Alexander, squatting before you with that signature smirk playing on his lips.

“You’re dead. I saw to it myself” you spat, your voice hoarse, eyes narrowing as you glared at him. 

His smirk only deepened, a glint of amusement in his dark eyes “And what if I am?” he leaned forward, fingers reaching to brush your face, but you turned your head sharply to the side, recoiling from his touch. 

“Does that mean I’m dead too?” you asked, your glare never leaving him. 

“No” he said as he rose to his full height, his tone turning cold “But you will be soon” he began pacing around the cramped cell, his steps deliberate, calculated. “It’s just a matter of time.” 

You kept your eyes on him, your heart pounding despite the weariness pulling at you “What are you doing here?” 

He stopped, glancing  back at you with a cocky drin that made your stomach twist “I guess you still need me, even in your darkest hour.”

“I don’t need you” you scoffed, though the weakness in your voice betrayed you “You’re dead and I’ve been doing fine on my own.” 

He raised an eyebrow, the grin never leaving his face “Have you? Look at you” his gaze swept over you, his voice dripping with disdain. “You disappoint me. No one is coming to save you. After all that training, you are still a failure, Y/n.” 

You scoffed again, but the insult stung “I guess I take after you” you muttered, letting your head fall back against the cold, damp wall. Your eyes fluttered shut, hoping to block him out, if only for a moment.

His smirk faltered, frustration darkening his features “So you’re just going to give up like that?” his voice had an edge of irritation now.

You slightly opened your eyes, glancing at him “What if I do? It’s not like you can do anything about it.” 

His expression hardened, eyes narrowing, offense flashing through them “Are you just doing this to spite me?”  

You gave him a sad smile, though your heart felt heavier than ever “Even if I wanted to, that’s not possible anymore.”

His jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides. He couldn’t take this anymore- couldn’t take the way you were wallowing in self-pity. “Y/n, get up” his tone shifted from condescending to firm. 

You lifted your head slowly, meeting his gaze with defiance in your eyes “Why?”

“Because I said so” he snapped, nostrils flaring, his fists shaking slightly from the force of his anger.

You chuckled bitterly “I don’t listen to you anymore, remember?” 

His patience snapped, and he gripped your shoulder before you had time to react “Then I’ll just have to make you then” The world around you shifted, your cell disappearing, replaced by a hauntingly familiar scene. 

“Wait, wait, what did you do?” fear flashed across your face as you looked around. Panic gripped your chest, your voice trembling.

“I’m showing you your most painful memory” he said, his voice calm but with a cruel edge. You recognized the place instantly- the moment you last saw him alive. 

“No, stop, please” you begged, your hand grabbing his, desperately trying to push him away. You needed this to stop, whatever it was. 

His hand remained firm on your shoulder as he leaned in, his breath warm against your ear “Don’t be afraid. Look” his voice was commanding, but you squeezed your eyes shut, refusing to see. “I said look!” he shouted, and the sheer force of his voice startled you into compliance. Your eyes snapped open, and you were forced to relive it- the moment you killed him.

“Why are you doing this to me?” you sobbed, unable to tear your gaze away from the horrific scene playing out in front of you. 

He circled you slowly, coming to a stop just behind you “Remember why you did this, why you killed me” his voice had softened now, turning eerily calm as he leaned in and whispered in your ear “You have to finish what you started.” 

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. “But I can’t- I can’t do this anymore.” your voice cracked as you spoke, the exhaustion, the guilt, and the hopelessness finally catching up to you.

He moved to face you, his dark eyes locking onto yours. “You have to, because if you don’t, then all of this was for nothing.” he leaned in closer, your faces inches apart, his voice merely a whisper Then my love meant nothing to you.” 

Hearing him say that and being forced to watch as you killed him again made something snap inside you. “You can’t love anyone, Alexander” your voice wavered, but there was a steel edge to it now “‘cause that would mean you had a heart.” 

He recoiled slightly, the cold amusement in his eyes flickering. You wiped a stray tear from your cheek and pushed yourself to your feet. “You’re right about one thing though” you continued, your voice growing stronger, “I have to finish this. My guilt was consuming me, but you-” your eyes burned into his “Oh you showed me that it was not my fault. You had to die so that everyone else could live.” you said, the weight of your own words settling over you. 

For the first time in what felt like years, the tight grip of guilt loosened its hold on your heart. You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as if releasing all the pain you had carried. You looked at him one last time- the man who once held your heart. Though you still ached from his loss, you were finally ready to move on. “Goodbye, Alexander.”

[leeeeeeeeech]

Desperate Measures

( Beej is attempting to haunt a pretty boring breather. Unfortunately for him, they are very dumb. He gets frustrated, hilarity ensues.)

For years, my life has followed a monotonous routine. Wake up, go to work, come home, eat, and then repeat it all over again. It's not a particularly exciting life, but it is mine, and I have grown accustomed to its predictability. However, recently, strange occurrences had begun to disrupt this routine.

One morning, while preparing my usual breakfast of toast and eggs, I experienced something bizarre. My old toaster, which had seen better days, suddenly acted as if it had received an upgrade from a sci-fi movie. It hummed and sputtered, and to my amazement, two slices of toast levitated out of it. They hung in mid-air, their once white surfaces now blackened and smoking. I found myself staring in disbelief, my outstretched hand halted just inches from the hovering toast. As quickly as they had risen, the slices dropped to the counter with a thud.

Weird.

Shaken by the strange event, I decided to write it off as a momentary lapse of sanity. Maybe I was more tired than I thought? I shrugged, ate the burnt toast, and continued with my day.

My next task was grocery shopping, the highlight of today's events. I stepped into my car, which had seen better days, much like my toaster, and started the engine. As I drove, I couldn't help but notice a peculiar vehicle in my rearview mirror—a neon green Volkswagen Beetle with bold black stripes. It was a distraction waiting to happen, and I couldn't fathom why someone would drive such a garish car.

Arriving at the grocery store, I grabbed a shopping cart without much thought. But as I gripped the cart's handle, something caught my eye. The metal bar at the front, which had always been plain and unremarkable, now bore black stripes, just like the Beetle. And etched into the metal were two initials, "BJ."

Okay, can't write this one off as a coincidence. The letters were a strange choice, and I tried not to think about the obvious acronym those letters could stand for. I tried my best to remain calm and finish up my shopping.

After I checked out and drove home, the evening was back to its monotonous self. I prepared dinner for one, and sat down in the living room to watch a show. As soon as the TV flicked on, it was already on a TV show I didn't recognize. A green-haired man stood alone on a completely white set. He wore a strange suit with the same bold stripes I've been seeing all day. Just as I reached for the remote, the man started to speak.

"Is there something strange in your neighborhood? Something weird that you can't explain?" There was a very long pause, and for a moment it felt like the man was looking straight at me.

"Who should you call? Well me of course! Just call this number below!"

I stared at the screen. It felt like all the strange events of the day were converging. I watched as the man on the TV grinned, showing unnaturally sharp teeth as the number flashed across the screen.

"This isn't just a commercial, is it?" I question aloud, my voice practically quivering. I gasped as the man on the screen winked in response. His dark eyes twinkled with an other-worldly mischief that sent shivers down my spine.

In a panic I decided to turn off the TV and just go to bed. This was all way too strange for my liking, and I needed a break from the bizarre events that had unfolded throughout the day. Maybe a good night's rest would help me regain my grip on reality.

As I headed to my bedroom, my steps sluggish and my mind still racing, I could hear the TV flick back on. I froze in my tracks, my heart pounding as the familiar commercial continued to play. It was as if the man's voice refused to be silenced.

"OH COME ON!" His voice boomed from the living room, a mixture of frustration and desperation.

I clenched my fists, my patience wearing thin. This was beyond anything I had ever encountered. I wanted nothing more than to escape this unsettling situation, but it seemed that the situation had other plans.

"I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR MEEEE." The voice grew louder, more insistent, echoing through the house.

I walked back into the living room, and stared the man down.

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice quivering with a mixture of fear and frustration. I just wanted this nightmare to be done with, to return to the life I had known, where toasters toasted bread and commercials were just commercials.

The man on the TV remained silent for a beat, his dark eyes locked onto mine, unblinking. It was as if he could see into the depths of my soul.

And then, his voice emanated from the TV once more, a sly, almost seductive tone. "Just say my name."

I blinked, disbelief washing over me. "What?" I stammered, my mind reeling. Now, I was certain that this had to be a dream, a bizarre and twisted dream that I desperately wanted to wake up from.

The man's lips curled into a mischievous grin, and he leaned in closer to the screen. "Say my name," he repeated, his words carrying a weight of anticipation.

---------

This is already pretty long, so I'll make a part two!

[witchersmistress]

Are the lamp post that light the path

hello my darlings here is part 4!!

Trigger warnings: forced marriage, revenge. vauge threats, crying, age gap, blood, rituals

Word count: 1.5K

 Walters pov

I Stand at the front of the Cathedral, my eyes dropping when she pushes away from the railing. I half expected her to jump to her death. But to my surprise, she glared at me as if she’s ready to hand her life over to me. My eyes drop to scan the rows and rows of pews filled with Ravens. I can’t see who is who through their masks and cloaks, but I can hear their gasps and hushed voices follow as they all stare at me, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. 

August stands next to me with his arms crossed in front of him. He will be the only other Raven standing with me today. He hasn’t even asked or questioned my motives. It doesn’t even matter, really. He understands I’ll do whatever needs to be done because he’s the same way. He had his own reasons for doing what he needed to do when it came to Addie. And I was there for him to help however I could.  The pastor I hired to replace the one that Phil had came to stand next to me at the front of the altar and nods, letting me know he’s ready. “Wicked Game” by Lusaint begins to play throughout the high ceilings and I smile at the song I chose for her to walk down the aisle to. Phil had something completely different. I thought this would be more fitting. As the double doors open, the guests rise to their feet to welcome my wife.

  She and her brother stand side by side. Her long train fluffed to perfection behind her. The dress is form-fitting, showing off her large breasts and thin waist. It flare  s at the bottom, making it look like she’s walking on a cloud. A veil covers her pretty face. If she didn’t need to say her vows, I’d have made her open her mouth and filled it with a ball gag. Wouldn’t that have been a sight? She is standing in front of her parents with a drool running from her painted lips and onto her expensive dress. The thought alone makes me hard. In time. The song plays on a loop as they make their way up the long aisle. Dylan comes to a stop as the pastor asks, “Who gives this woman away?” Her brother’s eyes glare at me. “I do, Father.” I chose him to give her away for a reason. I want to laugh but refrain. Instead, I hold out my left hand, and he slowly places hers in mine. When I yank a little too hard, she trips over her dress, but I keep her up.

Her brother takes his seat next to their parents. There’s absolutely nothing they can do. The Ravens have arranged marriages for multiple reasons, so the fact that I get to have her should terrify them. It proves just how far I’m willing to go to get what I want. I’ve been biding my time. I went three years without sex and then waited three more years for this moment. I’ve always prided myself on my patience.  I reach out and lift the veil, pushing it over the top of her head to see her bloodshot eyes meet mine. She drops them to the floor, and it shows me just how submissive she’ll be. She’ll crawl if I tell her to. Won’t that be a sight? She’s pretty in that fake ‘I’m insecure’ kind of way, so she bleaches her hair, whitens her teeth, and has big fake tits. Too bad Phil made her that way. Amelia Halston, I remember, had more self-respect than that. I’m going to test her every chance I get just to see how much it’ll take for her to break. It took three years for Phil to make her what he wanted. I’ll do it for much less. 

Amelia’s POV

He holds my shaking hands in his while I try to calm my breathing. My watery eyes look at the floor, unable to meet his or anyone else’s in the building. Shame washes over me like a tidal  wave carrying me out to sea with nothing to grab. I’m going to die—a slow and painful death. I blink, and tears run down my face when I see him slip a ring on my finger. He already wears his wedding band. The Ravens do everything their own way. They are each given a path and are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want with it. Not every wedding is performed this way. Take August, for example. I know from the talk that he and his wife didn’t have a big wedding in front of fellow Ravens. We’re only here because this is how Phil wanted us to exchange vows. Walter  just hijacked it.

The pastor steps to the side, allowing Walter  access to a long rectangular wooden table—the Ravens’ table. It has a black runner that hangs off each end with white rose petals covering the surface and tapered candles sitting in their own individual crystal bases. The building is so large that the flame gives no light to it. They hold no meaning other than decoration for the table. Walter  releases my hands and they drop to my side while he reaches out to pick up the dagger that sits in front of the candles. He pulls it from the old worn-out leather sheath with its crest engraved into it—a circle with three parallel lines through the middle—and lifts it to my chin, forcing me to look up at him. The cold sharp edge pressing into my flesh is enough to pinch but not enough to break the skin just yet. My eyes meet his, and I hold my breath. He steps into me, the tip of the blade gently running along my jawline to the base of my ear. The metal is cold but smooth against my burning skin, making me break out in goosebumps. “Recite your vows,” the pastor announces, making my heart skip a beat. “I … vow,” I say with a heavy tongue. My breathing is ragged, and my pulse races. The tip of the blade punctures my skin, making me hiss in a breath before I feel the warm liquid rolling down my neck.

 His blue eyes watch it slowly trail down my chest and fall between my breasts. Taking the dagger, he pokes the tip of his thumb and cups my jaw, gently running it along my shaking lips, smearing his blood on me. “You vow.” His deep and assertive voice holds power. That thought makes me whimper. “Together,” the pastor adds. “We vow,” I whisper to myself, while he commands our audience. Walter  steps into me, closing the small distance. His eyes stay on mine while he lowers his lips to my collarbone. A tear runs down my cheek when I feel his warm and wet tongue run up my neck, licking along the trail of blood. A shiver runs through me.

I feel his lips slowly running along my jawline as he speaks softly, “As blood is my oath, you will forever belong to me and I to you.” He reaches my lips and captures mine with his. I taste something metallic—our blood—when his tongue enters my mouth and I swallow, knowing that if I don’t, I’ll vomit. I’ve already embarrassed myself enough. I go to stop the kiss and pull away, but his hand flattens across the back of my head, holding me in place. The other slides around my waist, pinning my front to his hard body. I try to fight him, but his lips pry mine open easily and he dominates my mouth, making my body react to him even though I don’t want it to. My thighs tighten, and my heart races. My eyes fall closed, and he swallows what I can only think is a moan from me. I've kissed before, but it was different. I actually liked that guy.

His fingers dig into my hair, and I feel him pulling the tight bun loose. Tilting my head, he deepens the kiss, and his tongue caresses mine in the softest way even though I know it’s anything but. Heat runs up my back, and my body begins to tingle with electricity. When he pulls away first, ending the kiss, I hate that I don’t step back. That I willingly stay close to him. He gives my lips a gentle peck before he breathes into my ear so only I can hear. “Welcome to hell, little darling. You’ll only be able to crawl as far as my chains will allow you.” I bite my tongue to keep from sobbing. My body is shaking, my heart racing, and my breathing is ragged. I can’t think straight right now. He pulls back and licks his bloody lips while watching me silently cry. “I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Walter Marshall,” the pastor announces to the silent audience. The words are like a door slamming shut, locking me in my cage.

[kazimakuwabara]

Give Him A Minute 2

Part 2 to This

Summary: The aftermath of Kuwabara’s patience and trust, tldr: Yusuke’s pissed.

***

Kuwabara is surprised, and not surprised when Yusuke punches him in the face.

Kuwabara lands on his ass, and grunts out a flat, "Owch."

This is a start. Yusuke had refused to see him for a little over a week now.

Kuwabara stays on the floor, arms resting on his bent knees. As long as he's sitting, Yusuke can't throw him out, so he might as well sit.

"You could have died!" Yusuke snarls, his eyes red-rimmed and achingly glassy.

"You wouldn't have done that," Kuwabara protests, calm and sure. "You released me, and passed out. You were fighting that pois-"

"I was under the influence! I wasn't myself! You should have let Kurama and Hiei cave my head in to get away!" Yusuke growled, glaring at Kuwabara, his hands curled into fists.

"You, Yusuke Urameshi, when you have no control, are stronger than them both, and definitely stronger than me. You were confused," Kuwabara tilts his head and grins, "You know what confused you more? My compliance. My lack of response. If I waited it out, I knew you'd let go."

Yusuke had Kuwabara up on his feet, his fists in the collar of Kuwabara's shirt. Kuwabara curses, and curls both legs around Yusuke's hips, because he knows Yusuke is now trying to throw him out. He doesn't want to hear Kuwabara. But Kuwabara is as stubborn as Yusuke, and so he hangs on to Yusuke with all his strength. Yusuke swears, and slams Kuwabara into a wall, wrestling with Kuwabara as the bulky man clings to him like a koala.

"Does everyone here forget I'm clairvoyant?" Kuwabara snapped, "I felt you, inside your mind, trapped under a haze of drugged fog, struggling against your instincts to eat me, and then move on to killing Kurama and Hiei. I felt you in there, fighting with all you had! Urameshi, you know when I'm not fighting against you, I'm supporting you, even if it's just from the stands. What kinda friend or fan am I, if I doubt you when you're up against the ropes?!"

Yusuke growls, and it is inhuman enough to make Kuwabara shudder, his body's natural instinct in the face of a fierce predator. Yusuke's eyes overflow with tears, and stream down his cheeks, and he sends a fist into the wall, avoiding Kuwabara's head by inches. The hand that had been holding Kuwabara by the collar, slides under Kuwabara's hip, supporting his weight. He holds Kuwabara for a moment, supporting instead of pushing, and then looked up at Kuwabara his face anguished, "Kuwabara... I already have to deal with the fact that I'm gonna lose you long before it's my time... don't make me lose you sooner."

Kuwabara's throat constricts, and his eyes prickle with shocked tears.

Yusuke lets go of Kuwabara, and Kuwabara lets himself land back on his feet. Yusuke's hands don't fully leave Kuwabara's body, they linger at his waist, and his head hangs down. Kuwabara leans forward the top of Yusuke's head resting against his sternum. Kuwabara bites his lip fighting off a wave of guilt and sadness. He takes in a breath, strengthens his conviction, and whispers, "I know you'd never hurt me and if I gave you the chance to overcome... you'd do it. Because that's what you do."

"You can't... trust me this much," Yusuke sobs wetly.

"I do. You earned that trust Urameshi, you earned it! Don't you trust me?" Kuwabara asked.

Yusuke looked up at Kuwabara, and said words that made Kuwabara's heart drop into the pit of his stomach, "I don't know."

Kuwabara's throat closed off, and all he could do was breathe. If his life depended on it, he couldn't say a word.

"I trust you to fight with me, to be there when I need you... but I don't know if I can trust you not to make the self-sacrificing play. You've been willing to die for perfect strangers, and the fucking terrifies me," Yusuke said his tears slowing. He removed his hands from Kuwabara's waist and scrubbed his eyes.

Kuwabara took that moment, to brush past Yusuke, intending to go home.

"Kuwabara-"

Kuwabara turned, and because he couldn't voice them physically, he spoke directly into Yusuke's mind, 'Self-sacrificial plays, huh? Pot calling the kettle. Beyond that, I'm not trying to die for you, I'm trying to protect you, and everyone else. I'm trying to get us all out alive, because out of the two of us in the room, who here has actually died more? Who has made me watch them die? Who here had a funeral that someone had to go to and feel utterly lost at?'

They stared at each other for a moment, and Kuwabara left.

 'Maybe you were right. I shouldn't trust you so much.'

[unmaskthemagic]

8. Strength

Left: John Bauer deck Right: Rider-Waite deck

Element: Fire

Planet: Sun

Numerology: 8 represents authority and balance

Keywords: instinct, soft power, collaboration, resilience, self-mastery

Quotes: "A good collaboration pushes the boundaries of both partners." Neil Blumenthal; "The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing." Sigmund Freud; "Fear is always there; it's a survival instinct. You just need to know how to manage it." Jimmy Chin

Symbols: The woman on the card is supposed to appear calm and loving. Her white robe symbolizes purity and the flowers are beauty and nature. The infinity symbol above her head represents infinite wisdom. The lion symbolizes raw passions and desires. The woman calmly taming the lion is a representation of taming our instincts and passions through inner strength and resilience in a positive, loving way.

I'm going to recommend Between the Worlds again, because every time I am feeling iffy about a card they explain it in a way that resonates with me. I am an animal lover. I studied zoology in college and I have two fur babies. So when I initially saw this card I didn't really like it. It kind of looks like the woman is trying to give the lion a dental exam or like the lion is her pet or something. I was very confused. The podcast helped me realize, though, that she's supposed to be taming the lion in a kind of positive way, indicated by her demeanor. This is kind of a brilliant thing about the Rider-Waite deck, because the pictures are very open to interpretation. But sometimes I need a little help, which is why this podcast is great. I like the the card from the John Bauer deck, because it more clearly depicts how I now interpret the card.

This card tells me that the best way to master the natural instinct in me - the part of me that wants to break things when I'm angry or hide when I'm sad - is through wisdom, love, and patience. And this can be any part of ourselves that we don't like or struggle with. Amanda in the BTW podcast said something I really liked, "It's like inviting your demons to tea." This is actually a concept that one of my therapists had me do and I still use it, although she called it a dinner party. I basically invite every version of myself to dinner or "tea" and just talk to them, like I would guests or friends. It's helped a lot with getting rid of shame and loving myself even when I'm depressed or anxious. So that's what I see in this card. It's a call for me to have dinner with myself again and strengthen that relationship. It could be applied outwardly too, with a person or situation I'm dealing with. There is so much strength in patience and kindness.

As part of my study, I use the Tarot Card Meanings Workbook by Brigit Esselmont, biddytarotcard.com,��brainyquotes.com (I use the card’s keywords to search for quotes that speak to me), Pinterest to look at other artistic interpretations, and Between the Worlds podcast.

[sunstonespells]

an appreciation post for my partner, because i don't get to brag about him enough:

- he video calls me every day on his way home from work because he misses me and doesn't want to wait until he gets home to see me

- keeps our house clean and organized better than anyone i have ever lived with

- never wants me to help him carry the groceries in cause he doesn't want me to be uncomfortable

- indulges in my interests to the extreme, and buys me just about any sanrio or squishmallow treat i find

- always tells me not to rush or get hung up on prices (within reason) when we're shopping, combatting a lot of my guilt complexes

- plays my favorite board game with me even though it's a word game and he's not a words person

- watches musicals, reality shows, and documentaries with me even when they aren't in his wheelhouse

- will play games with my family without me if we go to visit them and i need to go rest, but always comes to check on me

- cooks dinner for the family from scratch multiple days a week

- will build furniture, re-arrange a room, spend hours decorating, and always completes a project. has endless patience while doing so and stays calm and not frustrated even when the process is super irritating or tedious

- says "we" did it when he accomplishes something, because i support him and hold things down at home so he always gives me credit when he does well

- does jigsaw puzzles and builds lego with me; he gets the star wars sets and i organize the pieces for him to build, and sometimes we take turns doing pages, and he buys me the botanical sets for holiday gifts

- takes care of all of the laundry, and he works retail so he folds everything perfectly

- left me fully in control of making decisions during my pregnancy, even though he already has two kids. he would tell me his experiences and things to consider, but empowered me pick every baby product and make every medical decision

- i've never heard him raise his voice except to yell "HEY" to break up the kids when they're arguing and getting loud, before bringing it back down

- talks every day about marrying me, our plans for the future and the quality of life he wants to give me and our family and what he's willing to do to get us there

- coordinates his outfits with me and the kids when we go anywhere, has matching shoes with me, lets me wear anything of his that i want, wears my necklaces

- will let me go off for hours about my special interests while he asks questions. he recently has been asking me about queer identities and lgbt history

- never judges me for my health issues (that i'm very self-conscious about) and tells me to relax and not be hard on myself when i'm not feeling well. he never gets mad at me for not doing enough or pushing myself and will pick up extra daddy duties around the house to let me rest

- regularly takes me on dates and makes sure we get grown up time to spend with other adults so i don't feel like i'm only a mom, and encourages me to make plans with my friends and visit my hometown while he's working

- is an active parent who is determined to give the kids experiences. we pretty consistently take them out to see family and friends, trampoline parks, ice skating, mini golfing, bowling, play zones, zoos, pools, parks, beaches, arcades, etc. even when he's fully exhausted

- helps me do my hair when i try to style it and i get frustrated cause i can't see the back and i don't know what i'm doing

- re-arranged half of the house to be able to make me plant shelves out on our apartment balcony so that i can start keeping plants again, and got me my dream plant (pink princess philodendron)

- will do arts and crafts projects with me and the kids, and will cook meals with me and the kids. he let me teach him how to bake and we all made cookies together

- let me paint his nails and color his hair, has gotten his nails done with me at a nail studio, and will pick my nail colors/shapes for me

- dramatically sings lewis capaldi with me in the shower and washes my hair and cleans my glasses

- has a great butt

[aishangotome]

Chapter 3-8 The True Face of Lu Mountain (廬山真容)

Chapter 3-7

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.

.

The room was quiet, and all the furnishings were still in the same state as they were the day of the crime, filling those who entered with a creeping horror.

???: Don't move.

A cold warning suddenly came from behind, followed by a hand covering my eyes and my wrists being tightly restrained.

Princess: Who's there?!

My heart pounded. The person's grip wasn't heavy, but I couldn't break free.

Princess: Let me go!

???: Has no one ever told you that being too bold can lead to a bad ending?

The man was very close to me, his warm breath brushing against my ear. His tone was unhurried and calm, yet laced with a threat.

Princess: ... My people are downstairs. If I shout, your ending won't be good either.

???: Oh, the little beauty is quite good at bluffing.

Princess: Do you know who I am?

???: Do you think I'm afraid of you, Princess?

Princess: .....!

???: Your body is so stiff, are you nervous?

???: Don't worry, I wouldn't dare hurt a beauty...

There was a smile in his voice. Just as I was quickly thinking about my next move, the hands holding me loosened.

I turned around and saw a blond man with cold, emerald green eyes. The blue snake was coiled around his arm, its tongue flicking at me.

???: We finally meet formally, Princess of Dacheng.

Countless fragments flashed through my mind - "Tuo bayu's" crude and disrespectful behavior at the court, the reactions of the Beikun people that night...

The familiar whistle, Su Luo's words to me, everything converged into a beam of light, dispelling the dark fog.

Princess: I'm just curious...

???: No need to say it. You must be eager to know who I am. I am--

Princess: The Prince of Beikun. Why hide your identity?

The man's expression flickered slightly, confirming my guess. The one who died here that night was his substitute.

Tuo Bayu: Heh, this is my first time in Dacheng. Naturally, I need to understand our most powerful enemy, and the identity of a prince is not conducive to action.

Tuo Bayu: But unfortunately, my innate brilliance is too hard to conceal. The princess still saw through me.

The frank smile and genuine trouble on his face seemed to come from the heart... Are all Beikun people this narcissistic?

Tuo Bayu: The princess seems to have many questions. I'm in a good mood today, so I'll allow you to ask.

Tuo Bayu spread his hands, showing a benevolent expression. Although this expression was annoying, it looked... not bad on his handsome face.

Tuo Bayu: But I'll only answer the ones that interest me.

... Even more annoying!

Princess: So, the first question, why are you here?

Tuo Bayu: Although my virtues are as numerous as the stars in the sky, I lack patience.

Princess: ..... We're quite similar in that regard. Get to the point.

Tuo Bayu: I can't wait for you to investigate slowly. I want to catch the murderer myself.

Princess: But the Beikun envoy has been trying to make a big deal out of the prince's death, using it to threaten my father...

Princess: Why are you helping Dacheng find the truth?

Tuo Bayu: Helping Dacheng? It seems that in the princess's heart, I'm quite kind.

Princess: .....?

Tuo Bayu: Someone wants to kill the Beikun prince. Do you think I would ignore this, Princess?

Tuo Bayu: Of course, I need to know who that person is and why they did it.

Tuo Bayu: And... make them pay a heavy price.

Tuo Bayu's smile faded, and a cold glint of killing intent flashed in his eyes, a stark contrast to his previous self-satisfaction.

Tuo Bayu: Besides, using this as an excuse to make a fuss, beating around the bush, being timid and hesitant, is simply too boring.

Princess: So that's why you helped us out that night.

Those snakes that suddenly appeared in the room but didn't attack anyone were a warning from him.

Tuo Bayu: Hmm... the princess isn't completely foolish.

Tuo Bayu nodded slightly with an air of arrogance, as if saying "not completely foolish" was already a compliment to me.

But in any case, at least for now, he wasn't my enemy. I secretly breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed my hand, which had been gripping the dagger at my waist.

Princess: It seems our goals align then.

Tuo Bayu: Goals? Did the princess not chase me here because she's captivated by my charm?

Such a fine prince, it's a pity he has such a mouth.

Tuo Bayu: Since the princess also wants to find out the truth, I'll impose on you and cooperate.

Princess: You... did you mean to say "reluctantly cooperate"?

Although we were cooperating, I didn't know where to start for the moment. I could only give him a smile that was as adoring as possible.

Princess: Prince, you're so handsome and intelligent, you must already have some clues, right?

As I expected, he nodded with satisfaction.

Tuo Bayu: Of course. As the brightest sun in our desert says, the best way to understand someone is to walk the path they've walked.

Princess: The brightest sun? Who's that?

Tuo Bayu: Me.

Seeing his unabashedly proud expression, I regretted my curiosity.

Princess: Please continue, oh sun.

Tuo Bayu: And the best way to find the truth is to get close to it.

Tuo Bayu: Princess, are you willing to cooperate with me and recreate the crime scene?

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Chapter 3-9

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[uhitsher]

I'm justing going to type this out. My hand hurts from hitting him. My first panic attack in months, almost a year. All self inflicked due to my curiousity to chaos. I sat there and watched every second. Every move. Why didn't I just go home? I could have drove away and never known. Butterfly Effect. Everything happens for a reason. This was meant to happen or at least thats what I'm trying to comvince myself. Why did this hurt so much? I screamed my broken heart to Cass. My whole body shaking with maximum emotion. BPD man, its powerful. Ironic sense I was the one who attacked him. I didn't know what else to due. My body was taken over my a higher power. Female rage. The worse part ( at least in my opinion) is that I actually liked him, well I had convinced myself that I liked him. He checked all my boxes. Everything was good. I was good, calm, reliable. I was good. Yet I am the one left in dried tears and a swollen knuckle. My heart is empty yet so full. I know this is a lesson. One I needed to learn. Apparently, very badly. This is one small story in such a greater novel. I am worth so much more than that pain. I'm worth more than my pain. My heart always heals. I always heal. Yes it hurts but I am comforted by the thought of the next verison of myself. How will this help guide me into the right path. My path. It is mine and only mine. I forgot that. This is my story. Maybe I'm not the writer but goddamn it, I'm the main character. I have been shut off to any idea of romance for quite some time. This was my first step. Of course I fell and landed on my face. No one runs into love their first time. Right? Yes. Right. It takes time, practice, and alot of other stuff I'll learn about. This was just one experience. That's all and that's okay. He is not my forever because I already have a forever. And thats me. I'm my forever. Maybe one day someone will be blessed with having a piece of my time but that will be it. A piece of my time. I like that thought. I can't wait to share my time but I love that I get to spend forever with myself. Someone I know I will love through every hardship. Through sickness and in health. Good and Bad. Goregous and ugly. All of it. This year I have made every wish on the power to gain patience, love and awareness. I think the universe did an amazing job on my first trial in this journey. Yes it hurt but isn't suppose to? To have pain is to feel. I don't think I've "felt" in a long time. This feels nice. In a gut punching drop your heart kinda nice. For every inhale of grief is a exhale of relief.

[eloxino]

Idk if the cbd oil I’ve started taking is filling me with a false sense of calm or if I am healing but something is changing slowly.

My health anxiety is so much better and I am starting to think my ex amplified it. I did the tests to see if I have asthma and I will find out this week, I had my blood tests and they’re clear, and had my knee looked at and I just need a small operation. I’d like to check one or two more things but they can wait without worry.

I’ve still been so subdued and struggling with too much socialising but in a space of a couple of weeks I’ve gone from isolating myself to cry and hide in bed to staying in to cook nice meals, create things, decorate my beautiful home.

I am still thinking about my ex but it passes me by soon enough and doesn’t leave me with the anxiety and ache in my chest it previously did. I’ve stopped asking ‘why?’ and ‘what if?’ and started accepting a life without her. Accepting she was a shitty person and acknowledging that giving her a second chance wasn’t a sign of a lack of self respect. Fuck, even acknowledging that I didn’t even like being with her all that much when we were together anyway!

I’ve stopped feeling sorry for myself for having to cut so many friends out and started feeling grateful for the ones I do have, even if there aren’t many of them. I don’t need friends who want me there just to be the butt of their jokes.

I voiced my worry about being made redundant at work and my boss reassured me that I am one of the first people she will make sure stays. But I will see.

I’ve stopped feeling bitter about no longer being able to visit my Mum so much due to my sister and her family moving in and started feeling grateful that she will no longer be alone.

I’ve stopped getting drunk alone. I’ve stopped getting drunk in Vines so much and falling into a pit with other sad people.

I am still grieving for my Dad but making his model has helped me feel connected to him.

One friend came out for the first time since his Wife died and if he can wake up each day with a loss like that then I should not wallow.

I am yearning to find someone to mutually be madly in love with but I can wait for that and make sure I don’t accept anything less.

I’ve accepted that I can’t do casual sex, which inevitably will mean I won’t have sex for a while. I’ve accepted that that is ok and forcing myself to sleep with someone would be stupid.

I’ve accepted that I also don’t need to force myself to date just because my ex is.

Casual doesn’t come naturally to me, I want everything or nothing at all.

I am feeling hopeful that new friends are somewhere waiting for me, that I will love again, my career will do well. I am accepting patience.

[sowninchrist]

Surrender ♥️🌱🕊️🗡️

This past month has been a lot, I’m in my own world, I’m constantly self-aware of a lot more again of myself, completely ignoring everyone so that I can stay afloat with new experiences (like school, trying to go with the flow of life but this time with Jesus) and the peace that I find is in the Word of the Lord, is in His presence. And today was where the sword has appeared, instead of speaking of the trial and what the devil did, God rebuke him. I decided to put it into a whole lesson for not only me but whomever needs the knowledge to those who are also being shown to surrender. What I love about God, one of His attributes, is that because of His great love, He knows what’s about to happen before we know. The Lord really spoke before time, and I’m seeing it around everyone that I love and that I have continually stumbled, God have mercy on them and may He continue to bless those that I continue to hurt not intentionally but that they have had such patience with me, I pray that God gives them more than what they beg Him for.

Sometimes we don’t know what season we’re in until God literally pops big words in front of you through reels about others surrendering, songs that speak about surrendering. I actually had to look this topic up more than the rest of the topics He had given me, because today was going to be the last straw. I see what Jesus meant when He was on the cross and asked the Father why He had abandoned Him, that’s a reflect of us, when we can’t handle it anymore, we ask God why did He abandon us, in my case, it’s different but not so different at the same time because God continues to show us confirmations but it’s us who continue to delay the blessings He has for us, when He’s waiting to give us the riches in accordance to Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

I asked God what does surrender look like, because this was my first time being told by God to surrender, I was shocked and confused and then realized that what He showed me a few days back was the rest He showed me and tremendously, He told me to surrender today.

Before Jesus calls us to Him, we usually think surrender means to give up on something or someone, but when you enter the Lord and abide in Him, surrender doesn’t mean give up, it means; let go of the control and let God take control.

One of the best examples is,

Exodus 14:14 ERV, “You will not have to do anything but stay calm. The LORD will do the fighting for you."

Exodus 14:14 ESV, “The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

We must enter God’s rest, it’s funny because today my grandma was trying to speak to me through the Word, and I say it’s funny because if you don’t speak to me through the Word, I will literally not pay attention. she mentioned entering God’s rest and letting Him take control, something He had been telling me days before, and I never told anyone of this. As I say this He just gave me the remembrance of Psalms 46:10 NIV, “He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”. What does God mean to be still? Is to be silent, to rest in Him, worship Him, read His Word, and trust in Him. I can say more of how He showed me but then that would mean revealing the gifts that are meant for just us, when God says, “I AM GOD;” He’s not saying it to remind us that we’re talking to God in the sense of like “oh yeah, but what now?” No, He’s the great I AM, He brings life with His lips and with a blow, a flower can wither(Gen 2:7, Isa 40:6-7). People underestimate Him so so much and it’s quite scary to see people rebel against Him, i even can’t believe that I used to get mad when my mom would tell me to stop listening to my at that time, favorite girl band, even I can’t believe the audacity that I had. God is good. When He says, that He will be exalted among nations and in the earth, not all nations fear God, there are some who claim they’re god and that’s one of the ends prophecies, when God says He will be exalted among nations, He means authorities that are either abusing or spreading falsehood which also falls under abusing authority. And when He says among the Earth, that means every single eye will see His glory revealed to the naked eye, HOW COOL IS THAT!

In Isaiah 40:5 ESV, “And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together, for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”

I love this verse because the Lord already said that all authority on earth, every single thing that has came against you, every single person who has come against you will see the glory that will be revealed to each and every one of us, because He is a God of justice, even Paul says it in Romans 8:18, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”.

(Personal favorite verse Philippians 2:9-11, always, always love this verse because of the authority God has over all of us and every creation.)

I find this topic a tad bit difficult, because everyone who is everyone in my life, know that I don’t know how to rest. My mind is always busy on something or stressing about what I forgot to do, or didn’t do and so on, so what for others they can easily brush off, for me it’s hard to wipe off, literally.

But does this mean that I, myself, will give up? No. It just means that I’ve been fighting with my own strength and God’s been waiting for me to say, “Hey abba, I kinda can’t do it hehe, so I’mma let You show me that I’m kidding myself.”, because another thing that I love about God is there’s a specific verse that I love, well, I love all verses, even the scary ones, but it makes me feel small and like my problems are meaningless, I say this with a small laugh cause God knows what I mean by this.

Psalms 14:2 ERV, “The LORD looks down from heaven to see if there is anyone who is wise, anyone who looks to him for help.” I put this verse on my bathroom mirror, and it makes me sometimes laugh because sometimes I image God just sitting there on His throne, watching us panic and run around in circles until we get tired and fall on our knees and scream “ABBA! ABBA!”, see this is why I love God, because He speaks to us in our own ways that He knows we know when He’s speaking to us, if we learn to discern properly. This is what He told me on Friday, that He speaks to us in our own ways because we need a whole lot of His help, even when we’re too stuck in what we feel, He waits for us to wake up from what we’re doing to ourselves and realize, we lost our Christ-like walk for a moment.

But when God sees where we are, and He tells us we need to rest, it’s always because we’re walking extremely in the flesh and not with Him, in Proverbs 19:21 NIV, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” 

If we love God, how we claim to say that we do, that we live His Word, and if we’re called for His purpose, not only will His will prevail, but we too will prevail with His Will.

We must depend on Him, because He guides our steps, Proverbs 20:24 ERV, “The LORD guides our steps, and we never know where he will lead us.”

This is why we shouldn’t go based off of our understanding, why we shouldn’t go based on our own strength, our own sight. That’s why it’s important to rest, because we’ll self-destruct, Paul says, the mind in the flesh is death (Romans 8:13).

Matthew 11:28-30 ERV, “(28)”Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest.” (29)”Accept my teaching. Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will be able to get some rest.” (30)”Yes, the teaching that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is light.””

Isaiah 26:3 ESV, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”

Philippians 4:7 ESV, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Psalms 91:1-4 ESV, “(1)” He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.” (2)”I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”” (3) “For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.”(4) “He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.”.”

I SURRENDER by Deeper Worship, Matt Gilman;

“Lord have Your way

Lord have Your way in me

I surrender

I wanna know You more

I wanna know You more

I wanna be free from everything

That keeps me from loving You.”

[thegreatobsesso]

I just got caught up on 3 and 4..... friend. Okay I'm going to post things beneath a cut so as not to spoil anything.

<<

“I thought you were into good-looking tests of patience.”

You take a deep draw on the joint and let go of the smoke slowly so it hangs in front of your face until you blow it away. “Shut up, Brett.”

Now we’re playing my favourite game.>>

I like the game too. 🤩 Also just the banter, the wittiness of it but the way it still comes off as natural. As per usual I'm getting inspired to go write my guys just to come close to touching this sacred dream of messy men having sexy dialogue together.

<<“Make me.”>>

When characters say this I am always very normal

<<They’re the only socks I wear anymore. They’re soft and I need more of them. I need a whole drawer full of identical socks with undetectable seams. And when I have that, I’ll need something else and something else and something else, because that’s how need works.>>

Have never identified with a character more. I know Brett's speaking to his psyche on every level, but honestly, I still marvel at how I convince myself every new purchase I make is gonna be thing that Does It™️. Every new hobby will Fix Me™️. Hell, every interaction with said new hobby will be the one thing that makes me finally feel Satisfied™️™️™️™️™️™️. God, Brett. I understand you and I love you.

<<you’re sitting with your feet on the dashboard even though I’ve told you a thousand times that your knees will go through your face if the airbag deploys.>>

But I mean, this is Noah, isn't it - always sensible and pragmatic. Lethal too, yes, but he's always thinking of the consequence and that's me too. I have to ask you, did one of these guys comes to you first? I ask because obviously they're perfect together and I know with me, I can have two fully fledged characters I made so that they complement each other first, but one of them always came to be before the other: Electra, Octavius. I need to know if you're the same because I am curious. :) :) :)

<<In the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night, in an in-between place unwitnessed by anyone except us, this stranger offers an invitation to fate or whatever it is that leads someone to the wrong stretch of road at the wrong time with the wrong people driving behind them.>>

This is incredibly well written and sexy but I also love how Noah is able to pull himself completely out of his own narrative (/how you can pull us out of theirs) and put the scene into the context of normal life. It really heightens the alternate reality they live in.

<<“Hey, are you all right?” You sound so genuinely concerned, so calm and honest and easy to trust. You, the irresistible embodiment of pure deception.>>

so fucking hot

<<When you crouch beside him and lift him by the shoulders, he looks torn between terror and the lingering hope that you might still do something gentle, something kind.>>

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

<<Even so, some kind of discomfort that’s hard to pin down swells at the back of my mind. Mild frustration, maybe. An absence of the level of fulfilment I’d hoped for from this.>>

This...... perked my ears and made me wonder if this is the initial spark of where this sequel is headed. I don't know if I'm right, I might be reading too much into it; but this part felt like the first part that was meant to serve a narrative purpose other than reacclimatizing us to the characters and their new life.

<<Later, the attending police officers and a pointless ambulance crew will shake their heads at a series of misfortunes and if-onlys, but at least he didn’t take anyone with him. Everyone knows the dangers of driving drunk and yet people still do it. They never learn, even when the world gives them lesson after lesson. Still, nothing to warrant further investigation. A minimum of inconvenient paperwork.>>

Meanwhile Brett and Noah are out there like ghosts, waiting to do it again somewhere else to someone else. yes yes yes yes

<<Because this might be a form of self-denial, but it’s still a hit. It’s still a drug. And control still flows through my veins the way chaos flows through yours.>>

okay but I'm actually deceased though, I love them so much

<<“If you don’t, I’ll just make instant and then you’ll get all twitchy and weird about it.”>>

I'm 100% with Noah on this one, quality strong black coffee or death. Does Noah even let him bring instant into the house? Scratch that, Brett does what he wants.

<<we could almost be real people if it wasn’t for the blood on our hands>>

get fucked. also I love you. These updates are giving me life.

💀 Spin Cylinder / Episode One / Chapter 04 is now live at winterandwords.com

Silence settles around us like comfort, and it’s another one of those moments out of time when we could almost be real people if it wasn’t for the blood on our hands.

📝 Quick content note! It's murder time. Also, it's kinky blood stuff time. I figure anyone reading this is probably reading for those reasons and knows what they're getting into, but just in case you missed everything I've ever said about this book, consider yourself informed.

📖 Read it on winterandwords.com HERE

💻 Book summary and tag list on Tumblr HERE

💙 A heads-up for anyone hoarding chapters to read whole episodes at once! This is the last chapter in Episode One and the next chapter will be the beginning of Episode Two.

🏷️ TAG LIST @indecentpause @pertinax--loculos @revenantlore @talesfromaurea @thegreatobsesso

(new line to appease the Tumblr link gods) @thespacelizard

[the-acid-pear]

Okay while i do actually enjoy actually tackling a bunch of things i have wanted to do for a long time the reason I'm doing it being a desperate need for some completion in my life is not cool

[sevikasleftpussyflap]

hey flap can i get some hcs on sevika dealing with my art induced ennui bc rn i'm trying to make patterns on fabric and i want to fling myself off a cliff

I hc that Sevika is very unhelpful when it comes to comforting but I’ll try lol

Sevika would first be alerted to your frustration by your loud, distracting curses and wordless screams of frustration from a different room. She’s trying to read, excuse you. After a few times she’d sigh, slowly place her bookmark in her porno mag and trek her way to you. Her artistic girlfriend, who she loves more than alcohol and cigars.

She walks into the room and announces her presence with a, “shut the fuck up. I’m trying to read.” But she comes up behind you, bending over to wrap her arms around you and rest her chin on your head to marvel at your work. “Looks good, babygirl.”

You, however, do not share the same opinion and insult yourself with various exclamations about your skills. Sevika does not take too kindly to this, and like she does when she’s overwhelmed with any emotion, gets a little loud. She argues with you. Probably the stupidest argument you’ve ever gotten into.

“It looks fucking fine, the fuck?” Sevika has to pinch the bridge of her nose and take several calming breaths. She knew you were a little stupid when she got into a relationship with you, and knew you required patience she didn’t have. But as she looked at the piece that looked like it belonged in a museum, your earlier self-deprecating comments reignited her frustration.

“I’m not going for just ‘fucking fine,’ Sevika.” You’d angrily throw your pencil and rub at your teary eyes. The sight of you near tears has her softening a little.

“You need a break. You can come back to it after a snack and some rest. If you try to before that, I’ll break your fucking fingers.”

“Good, maybe it’ll turn out better-“

She carries you bridal-style to the couch and unceremoniously dumps you on it. You pretend to swoon at her, muttering about how chivalrous she was but she ignores you in favor of cooking you dinner.

While you wait on your grilled cheese-it’s all she can make, if you’re lactose intolerant sucks for you- she throws her porn mag at you to keep you busy instead of badgering her with puns. You make oohs and ahhs while she shakes her head at you.

Or she’d let you show her what those talented fingers can do. It always ends in sex with Sevika, it’s her love language

[lotus-flowerz]

Kazuha X Reader

kazuha x gn!reader

hurt/comfort

TW!! FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS, EXHAUSTION, CRYING

a/n- hi guys, i'm so sorry for the buildup of requests. i'm genuinely struggling right now and i set this blog aside for a bit. this fic is rlly self indulgent, i based it off of whats happening to me and what i would want to hear so i'm sorry for that. your requests should all be done by sunday. thanks for your patience!

f/n= friend name

Tired. That's the only word you can hear as you run yourself dry for others. Advice here, getting yelled at there. You've been spread so thin and on top of that the amount of work you have is piling up on you.

You were sitting there, zoned out, as one of your friends once again gets mad at you for something. You looked up at them, eyes heavy with exhaustion weighing on them.

"You were supposed to-"

"F/n. I need to go do my commissions. Shall we continue later?"

"Wait- I'm not done-"

"Great. I'll see you later."

And with that, you wandered out of Inazuma City, leaving your friend stunned behind you.

You didn't have a destination in mind, but you found yourself wandering towards Chinju Forest. You usually went there when you were stressed, the dark but calm atmosphere, the faint scent of sakura blooms all around you, it was calming.

You settled against a large tree and sighed. You buried your face in your hands, wanting nothing more than to sleep. But instead, you found yourself crying uncontrollably.

All of this is just too much. I can't fucking handle it-

"Y/n."

You jumped slightly, startled by the calm voice.

"Y/n, it's just me. Is something the matter?"

You looked up at Kazuha's fiery orange eyes, filled with nothing but love and concern for you, and it made the tears spill all over again.

He sat down beside you, pulling you into him.

In an attempt to calm you down, he began to hum something. A soft song, that sounded as light as the wind. You found yourself slowing down and breathing easier. The crying was subduing as you closed your eyes and leaned your head against his shoulder.

"Would you like to talk about it, Y/n?"

You took a breath.

"It's all too much. Why am I everyone else's punching bag? Why am I everyone's therapist? Why can't I ever seem to do anything right? Why do I feel guilt for standing up for myself? Why is all this work piling up and no matter how much I do I'm never fucking done?"

"My love, it seems you have so many questions and yet no answers. Sadly, I do not have most of them either. I can say this though; those who love you will show it when you're at your lowest."

"What does that mean, Kazuha?"

"People take out their anger on those who feel safest. Those who will not fight back. Although they feel safe with you, those people do not love you. Why? Because if they did, they would not be the cause of these."

He paused to wipe your tears from your cheeks with his thumbs.

"Those who love you will consider your feelings too. They will treat you as a human. Not a therapist. Because you are not one. You do not owe anyone your wisdom or advice. You do not owe people your time. And most of all, you do not have an obligation to help them, especially if they are too reliant on you."

"I just don't want to disappoint anyone. If I don't get everything done that I need to, or-"

"You're not disappointing those who love you. You don't need to get everything done at once. Breathe with me, okay?"

He stroked your hair as you two sat in silence, the song of the wind combing through the trees and the sound of his steady breathing helping you steady your own calming you down.

"There is no rush, Y/n. Things will be fixed and people will reveal their true selves to you, all in good time. And I will comfort you all you need until the end of time. I promise."

"I love you, Kazuha." you said, tearing up.

He wiped your falling tear away.

"Now, now, angel. No need for tears, I've got you. Just breathe. I love you too, my dear. Now rest, I will watch over you."

You climbed into his lap and he wrapped his arms around you. You laid your head against his chest and fell asleep to the sound of his faint humming and calm heartbeat, finally feeling secure and protected for the first time in so long.

[holden-caulfield]

Desperately

↪︎ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

SUMMARY: reader and blaise are partners in potions class and he lets something slip about a certain friend of his.

WARNINGS: none i think!

WORD COUNT: 1513

A/N: this is my entry for @simpology 's writing challenge with the prompt "Oh, and he's wretchedly in love with you"... hope this is good :)) the plot is kind of confusing but just go along with it

"Do you have the instructions?" asked a nonchalant Blaise Zabini as he settled next to you, letting his bag fall down next to his chair.

"Of course, yes. We'll need-"

"I know, i've already picked everything." he said hurriedly as he placed several bottles and containers on the table, surrounding the boiling cauldron at the center of it.

"Oh! Ok... we can start then, we'll have to add-" you interrupted your reading as you noticed Blaise already pouring a non-specified quantity of some green liquid into the cauldron.

You eyed him curiously as he continued the potion-making on his own.

"Why did you ask me about the instructions if-" he raised his index finger in front of your face, successfully shutting you up and irritating you at the same time.

He poured another range of ingredients in the cauldron and began mixing, finally raising his eyes at you.

"Now we can talk about important things." he stated, not stopping his movements.

"You just interrupted me twice in the span of 5 minutes, what could be possibly more important than the potion that Snape is going to grade today?" you asked with annoyance audible in your voice as you crossed your arms in front of you.

"Don't worry about the potion, it's going splendid. We have far more important matters to discuss." his calm voice was doing nothing to soothe you, instead doing just the opposite.

"And what is that?"

"You." he announced, remaining as stoic as a statue.

Your eyes widened at the mere syllable that had just left his mouth.

"Me? And what about me?"

"Not exactly you, more like your current situation." his eyes bored into yours with such coolness you wondered whether you were the daft one there.

"My situation? And what-"

"Your sentimental situation." he cut you off. Again.

"It's the third time you do that."

"And you keep on posing questions but i'm the one that should be asking and we don't have a lot of time. Do you know Draco Malfoy?"

"What does that even mean?!" he raised an eyebrow at you, unimpressed, and you simply scoffed. "I'm not interested in whatever game you are playing right now, Zabini."

"Just answer my questions, y/l/n, i swear there is a point." he continued stirring the concoction, eventually dropping new ingredients. You sighed but decided to play his game.

"Yes, yes i know him."

"How would you describe him?"

"Zabini, i swear, this isn't making any sense, can you-"

"What did i say about asking questions?" he scolded you. You rolled your eyes and narrowed them at the boy in front of you.

"Fine. He's blond, tall-"

"Not physically, you idiot." he scoffed and you smiled to yourself, which made him eventually soften his gaze.

"He's a slytherin and..." you didn't know what to say. You obviously knew about his past actions, he wasn't exactly well-seen at hogwarts.

"And?" he asked expectantly.

"And i don't know, he's not the nicest person around, i think."

"Interesting." he muttered, almost to himself as he got lost in his own thoughts. "What do you think about me then?"

"You? You are like him, aren't you?" you asked, smirking as you did so.

"I don't know, i'm asking you." he said, returning the smile with playful eyes. You scoffed and returned to your potions book but Blaise snatched it our of your hands. "We were talking, weren't we?"

"We were supposed to brew a potion, weren't we?" you asked, mimicking his previous sentence while taking back your book.

"I got that under control." he added other ingredients and at this point you were wondering whether he knew what he was doing or whether he was improvising just to talk to you. "So, me and Draco are the same, correct?"

"Actually," you said while trying to find the passage in your book, "i hope he has half the patience i have or he should have hexed you ages ago."

You skimmed through the pages but you couldn't find the right ones. Blaise grasped it again and hid it behind his back, earning the most choleric stare you could muster.

"Or maybe i don't. I'd love to see him hex you. Know what? I might do it myself."

"Now that's a wonderful idea." your eyes widened again and, furrowing your eyebrows, you just stared at the boy i front of you, wondering what had happened to him. "But i had something else in mind. Why don't you go take your book back, we might need it."

You switched your gaze from his own eyes to his hands and noticed that he had no longer the book, instead his wand, pointed towards one of the other tables of the class. A table you noticed had two copies of the same book on it, meaning one had to be yours.

"What game are you playing, Zabini? Do you even know what you're doing there?" you asked, pointing to the concoction.

"I don't, so you better get your book back if you want to fix this." he said and you could feel anger boiling in your chest at the smugness of the slytherin.

You marched towards the table, exasperated.

"Oh, and y/n?" you turned around while walking, eyes still flaming with annoyance, "he's wretchedly in love with you."

You couldn't process the new cryptical information as you bumped into someone. You immediately returned your eyes to the front of you, finding a tall blond there, holding your book in between your bodies.

"Is this yours?" he lifted slightly the book but you were speechless. What had Blaise just said? "Cat got your tongue? I'm asking if this is yours..."

Your eyes darted from his to the book several times before settling on the latter.

"Yes! Yes, it is." you finally spoke and heard chuckling coming from behind you. Blaise.

Draco handed you the book and you took it slowly, still unsure of what your next move should have been.

"Wait!" you said, a little louder than you intended to but enough to catch his attention as he was returning to his own workplace. "Do you- uhm..."

He stared at you, waiting for you to finish your sentence but it was not as easy as it sounded.

"Do you want to switch partners?" you managed to let out, visibly confusing him.

"You want to be with Nott?"

"With you actually... Blaise said-"

"Blaise said what?" he suddenly got more serious, his irises darkening as if you had just created a storm.

"He said-"

"I said you are the best at potions and she needs help. Desperately." Blaise came up from behind you, laying his hands on your shoulder, still stiff from the embarrassment but it immediately vanished as you heard the voice, leaving its place to irritation.

"I do not need help and most certainly not desperately." you stated indignantly and the blond in front of you let out a small chuckle, earning himself an angry look from you too.

"I'll leave you to it then." he said smirking and you quickly grabbed his arm to prevent him from leaving you with Blaise.

"Please no, i can't bear another minute with him." you pleaded, which made the blond suppress a chuckle and his friend roll his eyes, clearly annoyed.

You stared at him for a moment longer as he did the same, almost as if time had frozen.

"Well... i'll leave you two to it" Blaise began to make his way to Draco's previous working table, "maybe you'll finally be able to tell her about your crush on her, huh?"

Draco's head whipped towards Blaise as fast as lightning, a panicked look ruling over his features. His best friend kept going, leaving the two of you alone, speechless.

You stared at him and he stared at you.

"I like you too-"

"He was kidding-"

"Oh." you both said in unison.

He stared at you and you stared at him. No more words were exchanged, just looks.

"You like me?" he asked tentatively.

"He was kidding?" you retorted, slightly hurt and embarrassed now.

"That depends."

"On what? On how ridiculous i must look right now?" you continued, the embarrassment turning quickly into annoyance.

"On whether you really like me or not." you were still unconvinced, his face unreadable as you tried to look for an ounce of sincerity in his silvery eyes, "Because i do like you, y/l/n."

Your brows still furrowed, you stared at him inquisitively.

"Were you the one kidding?" he asked now, suddenly self-conscious, letting out a single dry nervous chuckle.

You scrutinized him a little longer, noticing his confidence wavering and his patience thinning from the way he was looking at you.

"I wasn't." you finally stated, smirking at the blond boy in front of you.

He furrowed his brows too, the corners of his mouth hinting at a slight smile. But the sharp hit on both of your heads delivered by professor Snape made you both hurry back to your table.

"Get back to work."

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