#i just need to go back to my old ways. everything on one blog. and maybe a side blog for smth specific.
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ragnars-tooth · 2 days ago
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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dogscircle · 6 months ago
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im really excited to document new things here
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klemen-tine · 1 month ago
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Please Please Please (Mom! Reader x Batfam)
Don't prove I'm right~ I love that song so much. Anyways! Not extreme Yandere, but part 2 will have some. This is just the setting up for it. Also, while writing I won't lie, I forgot about Damien, so he will have a lot of showtime in the next part. FYI
TW: Cheating, slapping (Reader slaps Bruce), Reader also throws something at Bruce.
In now way do I condone partner violence. no matter how mad you get, you should never hit or throw something at your partner.
In case you have never heard this song before, first of all who are you? Secondly here is the link
@Rosecentury 
@Problematicreblogger
@Kurai-hono-blog 
@Lunaluz432
@testishere
Y/N had put her life on pause for Bruce and his hero complex. She is a top-model. A supermodel that is still being asked to do photoshoots, make guest appearances, and dominate the runway despite her time away from it. The strict workout regime was still her daily exercise, and she still was conscious of what she ate. Age had not affected her the way it has to some of her friends because Y/N lived to be a model. 
Yet, she had put that on the backburner for her husband and kids. She forced her attention onto the scarred and vibrant children that her traumatized husband brought in like strays. Y/N raised them, alongside Alfred. It’s because of them that their sons and daughters did not turn out as crooked as Bruce Wayne. A man that was full of jagged and sharp pieces, piercing the skin of whoever got close. 
E/C eyes rolled nearly out her socket, taking a sip of the morning coffee and waiting for her youngest to come down. She ignored the nervous glances being sent her way from her sons, and instead pulled out her phone to look for a familiar contact. 
“None of you have anything I need to be here for, do you?” Tim and Jason quickly shook their heads, and Dick gave a nervous smile, “Not really… although it would be nice if you stayed here though.” Y/N raised a delicate eyebrow, and a sharp smile formed on her lips as she pressed ‘call,’ “Ah, don’t worry Dickie, I’ll come back. I’m just going on a trip.” 
The person answered, and before they could start spewing curses, Y/N greeted them, “Hey, Jackie! It’s Y/N.” 
“Y-Y/N! What’s going on?” 
“Remember those gigs you were telling me about?” 
“Yeah?” 
“Book them.” The boys stood up while her manager on the other line sputtered in excitement, “Really?! Oh my gosh Y/N this is so exciting! Which ones do you want? I know you want to stay close to Gotham -heaven knows why- but I can find some in-” 
“All of them.” 
“...what?” 
“Book all of them.” Jackie hummed, “Some are out of the country though.” 
“Even better! Pack your bags Jackie, we are gonna be gone for a while. Bring Stella too, I’ll pay for both of your tickets and lodgings.” Jackie was stuttering, “The-the first gig in a week is Venice, Italy! Is that enough time for you to-” 
“Let's leave tonight.” 
“Tonight?!” Everyone screeched, and Y/N gave her sons an annoyed look, “Yes, tonight. Let's enjoy Venice like when we were young, and show Stella around. I’m sure the two of you could use a vacation anyways.” 
“....Y/N, is everything okay?” 
“Peachy. See you tonight.” Y/N hung up, and threw her phone on the opposite end of the couch, continuing to sip her cup of coffee as the news reporter continued to talk about Batman and his risky rendezvous with Catwoman. The perfect love story. 
The pursuer and the pursued. The cop and robber. Batman, the man of justice, and Catwoman, a thief. 
Her jaw clenched, and her fingers tightened around the handle of the mug. The air around her was full of jitters and Dick was basically vibrating with worry, Jason focused intensely on his phone, and Tim was drinking even more coffee. 
“Um, mom, are you… is this…” Dick was fumbling, trying to find the words, and Y/N smiled, “C’mon on Dickie. It’s been a while since I went on the runway, or even in front of a camera outside of Gotham. You’re all old enough now, it’s fine.” 
“What about Dami?” Y/N smiled sadly, “Dami will be fine. Hell, today I’ll have him help me choose the jewelry and clothes that I will be packing.”
“You’re gonna have him help you pack your bags to leave?” Tim wondered, and Y/N flinched out how terrible that sounded, “Not like that. It’s a trip. A fashion trip and a girls trip.” Jason scrunched his nose, “Ma, fucking Bruce just go caught cheating and was broadcasted across the NEWs, and you’re now leaving for a trip. Do you think Dami will understand that?” 
Y/N took a sip of her coffee, “He will. It’ll be a conversation but it will be reiterated as many times as he needs to hear it. Plus, it’s not like you guys can’t call me.” Damien came stomping down the stairs, dressed in the Gotham Academy Uniform, and Y/N threw on a smile that would have had actresses crying, “Dami! I need your help today, so nevermind school.” Green eyes blinked in shock, his gaze taking in every one in the room before landing back on her, “Are you needing my assistance in packing?” 
“Only for a trip. So there’s no need to pack everything.” Damien nodded, “Fine. I will assist you. You have an abysmal amount of jewelry and some of them are simply deplorable.” Y/N chuckled, “Thanks Dami.” He went back up the stairs to change, and Y/N turned back to the NEWs where they were finally talking about something different. 
Sighing, Y/N stood up from the couch, “I’ll be in my room packing if anyone needs anything.” Silence followed her, and once she was out of earshot, Dick proceeded to panic even more. 
+++
She’s in Greece now. After spending a week in Italy, a week in Iceland, two weeks in France, and now four days in Zakynthos, Greece, she knows her vacation time is limited. Y/N has been using Bruce’s card to pay for the three luxury hotel rooms, one for herself (obviously), Jackie, and Stella. She’s used them for the plane flight in first class, the first class train ride, the yacht to get to this island, the fancy dinners, shopping sprees, any time that she needed to put money down she was using his card. 
Bruce is a billionaire, he doesn’t care and Y/N is also a billionaire, but this is her way of being petty. Why would she waste her money? 
A delicate eyebrow raised at the man in the mirror, followed by two of their sons and a butler dressed in a Hawaiian shirt. 
“Lady Y/N, it is great to see you.” 
“Hey Alfie, vacation looks good on you. I highly recommend the mimosa’s here, none of them have been bad.” 
“Hi Ma, you look relaxed.” Jason walked further into the room, taking a seat on the plush chair and grabbing a grape, and tossing some to Dick. Their oldest son smiled and waved, “C’mon mom, I know you’ve been here before, but you could at least try and look like a tourist.” Y/N rolled her eyes, smiling lovingly and flicking her hair over her shoulder. She leaned close to the mirror again, rubbing sunscreen on her face and massaging it into her skin. 
Her husband made his way a little closer as the family spread out in the room. Jason sitting in the chair, Dick on the bed, and Alfred standing near the door. Y/N sneered at Bruce through the mirror, “Bringing the kids to see you get humiliated is something I would have never thought you’d do.” 
Bruce sighed heavily, and Y/N wiped her hands on the towel and sipped her mimosa. Piercing blue eyes, filled with exhaustion and guilt, met hers, “Y/N, how much longer are you scheduled for?” 
“Hmm, for a while Bruce,” She pretended to think, “After all, I’ve been wanting to get back into modeling now that most of the kids are becoming independent, and what better way to announce to the world that I am back than a hard launch.” Bruce raised an eyebrow at her, “Will it be my card you’ll continue to use.”
“Of course! It's the least my darling, idiotic, and hormone-rivaling-a-teenager husband can do after that stunt, right?” The room got colder and Dick sat up straighter at the tension between his two parental figures. Y/N has always had a sharp tongue and quick wit, one she used on Bruce a lot. Rarely ever was it aimed to be hurtful though. 
“Y/N, temper.” Dick’s jaw opened and Jason made an exaggerated gasp. Alfred looked pained as Y/N whirled around and seethed at Bruce, “Temper? Temper?! Who the hell are you to tell me to watch my temper when you can’t even control your own hormones? 
“If you wanted to see my temper you just had to fucking say so!” Dick turned to Alfred, trying to see if there was anything he could do, but at the resigned look the man gave him, the oldest son choked on a noise, “This is a new side of mom.” 
“Lady Y/N has always had a temper, one that rivals Master Bruce.” She looked like a puffed up cat while Bruce was cowing like a dog with puppy eyes, “When they were younger, she would put even the adults in their place.” Her hand grabbed the now cold coffee pot, and Dick feels like it was only because Bruce was used to stuff being thrown at him and catching things that he was able to grab the projectile before it landed on the walls and carpet. Alfred raised a brow, “Sometimes that temper bleeds into other things.” 
Their mother was seething in front of Bruce, looking like a bull and was ready to charge into a china shop. While Bruce may not be as delicate as one, Dick has money on Y/N still doing a lot of damage if she were to charge. Metaphorically and physically.  
“Y/N, please.” Bruce tried again, only to see her get more angry. His hands were up in a placating manner, and Y/N held her own hands tense and ready to swing if he came closer. 
“Y/N, it genuinely was an accident.” 
“ ‘it genuinely was an accident’–” She mocked, purposefully making her voice annoying “-fuck off! Like your tongue going down her throat is an accident. Didn’t know that could happen!” Y/N looked around again for something to chuck, while Bruce closed the space between them inch by inch. 
“What’s next? Are you going to trip and accidentally find yourself between her legs with your pants down?” Jason and Dick blanched at the imagery. 
“Over a decade of marriage, of me playing the perfect ex-model-arm-candy wife for Bruce Wayne just for you dressed in a fucking furry suit to go and makeout with another fucking furry! 
“Like! I know we weren’t in this for love, but there. Are. Still. Standards!” She enunciated each word with a swat of her hand on Bruce’s shoulder. 
“I still have standards! You don’t see me making out with anyone else do you? Even as I’m playing Supermodel Y/N, dressed to the millions and making everyone drool, I don’t go making out with them!” 
“How could Batman, of all persona’s you wish to play, do that? I expected that from Brucie, not Batman, defender of Justice or whatever bullshit you spew when dressed in that gothic suit.” 
Bruce sighed, “Y/N, it was bad timing.” He gave her a hard look, “Justice and this are different. You cannot compare the two.” The man knew he messed up once the words left his mouth and he closed his eyes in regret. 
Jason saw the slap coming and he braced himself for the impact it would have. Bruce didn’t catch it, despite him being fully capable of it, and when it landed everyone winced at the sound and the red mark. 
“Well this is my justice. Now go away. I have a photoshoot to get ready for and you are just pissing me off!” The hand print was immaculate. One that had Jason biting back a laugh and Dick looking horrified. Y/N whirled back around to face her vanity, where all her jewelry laid on the surface, and her attention was focused back on picking which one would go with her outfit to the shoot. 
Jason whistled when Bruce turned around to face his kids and Butler, “Good hit Ma. You should hit the other side to even it out.” Y/N gave a laugh, picking up the pearl earrings encased with gold, and she continued to pick out a necklace. 
“Jay, help me out here please.” Rough hands replaced her’s, and green eyes met furious E/C though the mirror. Using the safety of her son’s larger frame to hide herself, Y/N slowly let herself crumble a little bit. Jason could see the anger, hurt, and sadness that was slowly turning the sclera red from holding back tears. There was a subtle shake in her shoulders and the trembling of lips, but Y/N held it together. She was holding onto it by the seams, desperately waiting for the man causing her pain to be gone. 
When the gold clasped, Y/N reached over for her large hat and sunglasses, “Enjoy the beach. Alfie, you especially should enjoy this vacation. Don’t let this  stupid, untrustworthy, and manwhore of a furry disrupt it.” With that, she slammed her hotel room door on her way out, and they all listened as her heels clicked down the hall until they were out of ear shot. 
Alfred glanced at his ward, “Well, I am not one for violence when there are disputes between partners, but I will say that one slap was well deserved, Master Bruce.” The man sighed, slightly rubbing his cheek, “I think the last time she hit me that hard was when we were in grade school.” 
“She put all her body weight into that.” Dick glanced at the hand print, “Woah, I think you can see the ring too.” Jason whistled, and Bruce closed his eyes and took deep breaths to keep himself steady, reflecting on the conversation and where exactly he messed up. 
“I think this is the third time she’s slapped me…” 
“Fourth, sir.” Bruce nodded, remembering the third time. Jason raised an eyebrow, “I only know of the time you were both 6, and you said something mean so she hit you.” Dick pouted, “I know of the one in Middle School, when you were once accused of touching her butt.” 
Alfred raised a brow, “The third time was when she dropped you off at the manor after a long night of drinking and you—” 
“Thanks Alfred, there’s no need to tell that story.” Bruce’s cheeks were now flushed from embarrassment rather than the slap on his cheek.  Y/N truly has seen him through it all. When he got into fights in school, it was always her eyes he sought out after each one. Bored E/C eyes, framed by thick lashes and elegant eyeliner, always watching with a blank expression. Bruce Wayne rarely phased Y/N L/N. When he was younger, he noticed how his last name made people stumble or stutter when talking to him, allowing him to say whatever he wanted. It did nothing to Y/N, who met his gaze and taunts head on with her own witty comebacks that stuck at parts of Bruce that had him fumbling. 
He can remember his dad, Thomas Wayne, laughing when he caught Y/N’s sly comeback directed at Bruce after he said something about her dress. Y/N’s own parents looked mortified. 
Y/N L/N-Wayne was a flame that never wavered. It’s what made her successful at modeling, and a supermodel in her first two years. That flame is what had photographers, stylists, fashion designers, and make up artists still call her up, begging for her to come back. A force of nature that had only paused for Bruce and their children. 
“C’mon, Y/N. Even you can see the benefits of this.” The woman raised her brow at a younger Bruce, who was smiling at her. 
“Your life does not pause, and now with the Wayne name as yours, your options are endless.” 
“And what about you?” 
“This means I no longer have to play as a playboy in public and everyone will stop asking me to marry them or their daughters.” Y/N laughed, “Nah, you’ll still get them. They’ll just now be whispered behind closed doors.” 
Bruce smiled, “The standards of a regular marriage will still apply. Obviously not the sex part or anything, but everything else will. Think of it like living with roommates.
“This will work for the both of us, Y/N.” The woman smiled into the rim of her cup, red lips leaving an imprint on the glass. 
It took him five tries for her to finally agree. There might have been some manipulation on his side of things, but he got that ring on her finger, and 2 months later she was walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that was deemed ‘The Dress of the Century.’ She was beautiful, even more so than usual. 
Dick glanced at him, “So, what’s the plan?” Bruce sighed, “Just make sure she doesn’t get hurt.” 
++++
It took 4 months for Y/N to come back to the manor. Within those 4 months, one of them were always with her. Switching off when they hit a new city, and each one had tried their charm on having her come back to the mansion. Bruce was going crazy, therefore Batman was more brutal than usual, and that the meant the other birds had to pick up the slack when it came to emotions. Bruce had all but shut down every other part that wasn’t Batman. 
However, nothing returned to normal once she was back. Her and Bruce were rarely in each other’s presence, and she refused to see or do anything about Batman. Y/N was trying to remove herself from Bruce Wayne completely, and no one liked that. 
Bruce and Y/N may claim that they were never in love, and that they only married for convenience. However, Dick will always remember watching Bruce and Y/N dancing in the main hall of the manor. He was hanging onto the chandelier, not yet noticed by either, as a song began playing and they both began dancing. 
They had been dressed in casual clothes, which consisted of dark blue jeans and nice tops and shoes. Dick’s young eyes watched as the two of them swayed and twirled around each other, Y/N laughing at the whispered words Bruce would share, and the stern man relaxing for the duration of the time. 
They were far from the perfect couple. Their parenting styles were different, and it took a while for Y/N to warm up to Dick. She was never cold or malicious, but just like Dick and everyone else, she was lost. However, it was her awkward arms he sought after when he had a bad day, or when Bruce got on his nerves. It was her eyes he always seeked approval for. 
When she caught him hastily packing, dying to get away from the man that had his rules tighter than the Robin suit, she helped. Y/N had folded his clothes, snuck a bottle of Smirnoff and Titos into his luggage, because moving required at least two bottles of alcohol, and she hugged him goodbye. 
Every member of this family has a memory tied to Y/N. A gentle one. 
Damian had kind memories, where Y/N smiled at him for no reason. She did not expect perfection, and one time she stated how she wished Damian would fail sometimes. It was something that had him seething and jumping to defend himself, but Y/N laughed, “Failure is our best teacher, Damian. What better time to fail then when you knwo you have people willing to help you up?” 
Jason remembers peeking on Y/N when he was younger. Watching through the cracks of the door as she and Bruce swayed to music, laughed at old memories, or simply sat around each other and read a book. Sometimes, he’d catch her trying on her jewelry, or reorganizing her perfume. Every now and then she would go through her closet and donate clothes she no longer wanted or needed. 
He watched how Dick, would seek her out whenever he and Bruce argued. When Jason finally allowed himself to be wrapped in those arms– arms that always had Bruce looking ready to sacrifice everything, that had Dick relaxing, and Alfred smiling endearingly– and he can see why they did so. It's different from Bruce, because Bruce makes you feel protected. In Bruce’s arms, Jason knows that there is almost nothing that can harm him. 
In Y/N’s embrace, Jason feels at peace. There’s no need to worry about protection because he’s in a place that does not need it. When he dances with Y/N, to their song nonetheless, there is nothing that can ever disrupt the moment. Y/N stares at him with adoration, just how she does with Dick, only her attention is on him. Him! A street rat from Dowry, Crime Alley, and he has the attention of the woman that is Bruce’s equal in the highest social circles. 
Those soft E/C eyes, that always stared at them with warmth and love, stared back at him through the mirror. He and Tim, because Timmy loved her just as much as he did, watched as Y/N emptied another glass of the Rose, and how the exhaustion from all the shows, photoshoots, flashing cameras, and the ordeal with Bruce seeped into her bones. 
“Hey Ma, let's get some sleep.” Jason walked closer, carefully minding the scattered jewelry that looked more expensive than any of his weapons, and Tim, who was forever on the same wavelength as Jason, scampered over to the large bed and lit the diffuser. 
Y/N hummed, running her hands through her hair, before tilting her head back and looking at Jason once more, “You both shouldn’t be here. I can handle this myself.” Y/N never liked it when any of the kids saw her less than presentable. She was always dressed in nice clothes, with nice jewelry, and makeup even at the manor. It's one of the worries of being a model, she had told Dick, always scared that the nosey paparazzi will catch you at your worst and share it with an even crueler audience. 
Jason had once confided in her about Willis Todd, and how he hated it when she drank in front of him. Whether it was scotch or champagne. 
After that, Y/N always drank in her room. 
The thing is, that Jason knows Y/N wouldn’t ever hurt him. She’s not like Willis who purposefully seeked out to hurt someone smaller. Jason knows that no matter how mad she got at him, she wouldn’t do anything (unlike what she would do to Bruce).
This is why, despite all the trauma he has with alcohol and people being intoxicated, he can confidently move the bottle away and the glass. Noting how both were empty. 
Tim strolled over, and gave a small smile through the mirror, “I’ll brush your hair, Mom. Then you should sleep.” Y/N tried to wave him off, “Don’t bother. I can do it myself. You both should go.” She sluggishly reached out for the vintage decorated paddle brush, only for Tim to snatch it before she could. 
“I want to do it. Besides, if it bothers you, think of it as me returning the favor.” The confused look Y/N gave him had him smiling patiently as he stood behind her and gently began to brush the locks of hair. Y/N sighed, “This is embarrassing. My kids should not be taking care of me.” 
“I’m an adult.” 
“CEO of Wayne Enterprises as well. Taking care of you when you are in a low spot is the least I could do.” Lord knows how many times Y/N has cared for them at their lowest. When Tim believed that Bruce was stuck in the Time Stream, Y/N didn’t seem all that confident in it, but she still believed him and helped him narrow down locations. She kept the press busy while he went out and searched. 
He heard later that she refused to talk to Dick when she found out they wanted to put Tim in Arkham. She shook her head in disappointment when Dick told her that Damien is now Robin. Tim always thought Dick was a bit stupid on that part. Parading Damien, a child from another woman, around and in front of Y/N nonetheless. Yes, thankfully Y/N warmed up to Damien and vice versa (although for Damien it took longer),  but that could have gone bad in so many ways. 
“Still my kids.” Jason pulled a chair next to her, so they could all be in the view of the mirror, and in a rare show of affection that is only reserved for Alfred and Y/N, he rested his head on her shoulder as Tim continued to work the brush carefully through her hair. Y/N’s shoulders sagged and her back hunched a bit, and for the first time in a while, Y/N let herself look how she felt. Exhausted. Utterly and completely exhausted. 
Tim can see the dark circles under her red rimmed eyes, and the way her skin looked duller than usual. Granted, she finished a long gig, working tirelessly for months posing, getting dressed up, and traveling around the world to forget Bruce’s infidelity. 
‘Standards,’ she said in response to his excuse. Tim isn’t stupid to believe that neither Bruce or Y/N have feelings for the other. He’s seen it. It's in the way that Bruce concedes in arguments, or the flowers and necklaces he buys her when he’s apologetic, how the harsh glare that was directed at Tim when he first became Robin eased the moment Y/N pulled the boy close to her. Acting as a shield and sword for him. 
Her message was clear, and Bruce decided to read it. 
Y/N on the other hand lessened Bruce’s stress when he was CEO, the breaks from brooding to dance in the main hall to their song, or even acting as the sound of reason for him. She keeps him tethered to Earth, never letting his thoughts stray too far from reality. 
They may not be in love, but they still liked each other. Enough so that Bruce went along with her whims, just how she does with him. Enough so for Bruce to chase her across the world. Looking at it, perhaps Bruce was the one in love. 
“Jason, can you pass me the scrunchie?” He grabbed the silk scrunchie from large hands, and began braiding his mom’s hair. 
“You guys are being so silly,” Y/N huffed, and Jason beamed at her, giving her a boyish smile that he never shows anymore, “Anything for ya, Ma.” She subtly shook her head, a smile on her face as she looked back into the mirror. 
“Is this still about Bruce?” Tim kept his eyes on the braid, but from the tension in her shoulders, he hit the jackpot. Y/N brought her hand up to rub her forehead, “That idiot…” 
“Join the club, Ma.” Y/N took a deep breath, “He’s so stupid. It’s one thing to kiss another woman, which is fine. Do what you want to do, it’s not like we married for love.” A glare formed on her face, “But to get caught is another thing. Fucking idiot, he can only think with his hormones like a teenager. Even Dami isn’t like that, thank god.” 
Tim tied off the braid with the silk scrunchie, watching Y/N get heated again, “I hate him.” Except it was said with no bite, and the way Y/N’s lip wobbled had Tim hearing other words alongside the ones she mumbled. Jason leaned into her, offering her comfort while Tim watched from the reflection in the mirror.
Y/N to Tim was what Janet Drake had failed to be. He learned a lot from both of them, and it helped that both women were huge players in their social circles and socialites. They both taught him how to play with people’s perception of someone. Only Janet taught him to keep a straight face and not show emotion, while Y/N taught him that with a correct smile and a well placed chuckle, someone can be eating out of the palm of their hands. Both women approached the world with different weapons and tools, and both women used and taught them to him. 
Only Y/N also knew when it was time to put down the mask and become a reliable person for Tim, while Janet continued to only be Janet to Tim. 
He loves them both. Except, with Y/N he felt that if she were to ever leave him the way Janet did then he would have no choice but to follow and bring her back. Wherever Y/N goes, Tim will follow. 
“Boys.” Jason and Tim snapped their attention to the door, and Bruce was standing there, menacingly longingly. His face in an unusual expression, but one he’s worn a lot throughout the time Y/N was gone. An expression all the boys have gotten to know. Tim escaped, saying goodnight to both parental figures, before leaving for the cave. 
Jason pecked Y/N’s cheek, whispering good night and glaring at Bruce, “Don’t fuck this up old man.” To which Bruce sighed and nodded, closing the door after Jason. For the first time in months, it was just Y/N and Bruce. Alone with each other’s company and Bruce knows that if she could, she’d probably be strangling him right now. 
With great hesitancy, one that he could never show as Batman, he sat on the bed about a foot away from her. 
“I paused my life for you.” Y/N glared into blue eyes, “I paused almost everything, for you. For your mission. For the children you brought into our home, without asking me about it beforehand, may I remind you. I love them, and don’t you dare twist that, but I would have liked to have been consulted about it first.” Y/N didn’t want to be a mother. It was never in the cards for her, and yet here she is having more children than she had ever dreamt of. 
She loves them. She’d die and kill for them, but they were never in the cards of life she wanted dealt to her. 
“I paused so much, just for you to go and.. And… and do that.” Bruce winced at that, and Y/N felt happy that he did. Gritting her teeth, Y/N turned her attention to look at the fire. The heat of it reminds her of her own rage and the coldness she feels when in the presence of Bruce. 
Sighing heavily, she closed her eyes and bit back a groan, “And once I start getting my life started again, having fun, going on the runway and magazines, here you come storming back.” 
“You looked like you needed the break.” Y/N shook her head, “Did you know, that that is one of your worst habits. Always making yourself out to be the hero.” She took a glass of wine and watched the liquid swirl in the glass, “Of course, you let me have that moment. Of course you were thinking of me, and my happiness. How kind of you.” 
Bruce sighed, watching her sip the alcohol that left a red stain on her lips. He can remember the first time he saw her in red lipstick. Shockingly, it was in-person and the red made her skin look warm and teeth appear even whiter despite the knowledge that red lipstick can make your teeth look yellower. It was a beautiful shade, matched by her dress. 
She was beautiful. Breathtakingly so. Even as time progressed and she and he got older, Y/N remained beautiful. Defying the laws time and age as she remained ethereal. Unfairly so. 
Bruce had wanted to preserve that beauty, in the same way that many tried to preserve the flowers from the garden and the expensive smelling perfume. He wanted nothing more than for Y/N to continue smiling and for the fire to remain bright. 
To do that, he had to stay away. He could not allow himself to love her, because if he fell then he would drag her through the mud with him. Yet, here he is on the other side of that cold look, one that had him hesitating. That kiss with Selena was terrible timing all around. She had caught him in a moment of weakness, and someone just so happened to be there at the worst moment to catch it all. 
Staying away proved to be ineffective when here she is drinking wine with red-rimmed eyes and anger in her brows. 
“This marriage was never one for love, but there are standards. Ones we talked about beforehand.” 
“I know.” Y/N pursed her lips, tilting her head to the left and watching Bruce with distrustful eyes. The man sighed heavily and he sat in front of her, taking his own glass and pouring himself some wine. He didn’t like this type of wine, and from the very small scrunch in her nose Y/N didn’t like it either. 
The more he stared at her, taking in her still youthful features and eyes that burned bright, the more he could feel his emotions rising to the surface. Feelings and emotions he long tried to bury, but never quite succeeded. He had hoped that kissing Selena would just prove that he is only missing her as a sexual partner, and it only confirmed for him that he was in love with her. 
He is in love with Y/N L/N-Wayne. His kids are in love with Y/N. Alfred loves Y/N. The whole Wayne family, extended and all, are in love with this woman. This woman has nothing to do with their vigilantism, but instead reminds them that they are also normal and exist outside of masks and costume. That they are human and not shadows of the night. 
That they are the Wayne family. 
God, he loves her so much. So much. She is his weakness, his strength, his everything. The fancy cufflinks that are only brought out for special occasions, the expensive wine cracked open for celebrations, the pearl earring worn for the best performances. Y/N is the treasure of the Wayne family. 
Carefully, he wrapped an arm around her waist, slowly inching his way around her, testing the waters to see if she would shake him off or hiss at him. When there was no sign of that, he tightened his hold only slightly and pressed his forehead into her shoulder, gently laying a kiss on the joint, “Like I said, it was an accident. She caught me at a bad time, and I wasn’t expecting her to do that.” 
Y/N released a heavy sigh, and Bruce hugged her tighter, “I swear. It wasn’t consensual.” She rubbed her forehead, and Bruce watched how the lines slowly faded and melted back into her skin. Y/N never wore exhaustion well, which was why on mornings she had early photoshoots, she would sleep in her room instead of Bruce’s. She always woke up when he would stalk in and climb under the sheets with her. 
“Please, Y/N. Give me a chance. Let me take care of you the way you should be.” Y/N chuckled at that, “Careful Bruce, keep saying stuff like that and I might start to believe you have feelings for me.” Ice blue met E/C, and Y/N hesitated for a moment. Something chilling going down her spine, “I guess, I should start saying it more often then.” 
“Bruce…” He pecked her cheek, careful of the fire he was playing with, and carefully watching her reactions. His arms encircled her tighter, and he kissed her shoulder. Bruce watched, and observed how the tension slowly left her and reluctant acceptance came across her face. His arms tightened, and Bruce fought back a smile. 
“Ever the charmer,” She mumbled. Bruce huffed a laugh, and Y/N shook her head, “If I catch you with your mouth on anyone else’s but mine, I’m going to sick the kids on you.” An image of four rabid dogs, followed by a few more, filled his mind. Bruce grimaced as he remembered the tongue lashing he got from everyone, “Noted.” 
Y/N chuckled, and Bruce smiled, throwing his weight back on the pillows, bringing Y/N with him. His arms still tight around her waist, and a promise on his lips. 
‘I’ll never let you go again.’ 
________________________________________________
Not super Yandere, but it is getting there.
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kyra-cooneyx · 6 months ago
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get her back — a.putellas x reader
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summary: you annoy alexia a little too much and do whatever you can to get her to talk to you again
cute lil fluffy fic to kick off the new blog
if there was one thing you loved more than football, it was pissing off your girlfriend. alexia had the patience of a saint and you often found yourself pushing to see just how far said patience would stretch.
and that day was no different.
it had started in the morning when you decided to move things around the kitchen so that alexia wouldn’t be able to find what she needed for breakfast then you hid alexia’s car keys and phone, only giving them back to her when she threatened to make you run an unbearable amount of laps if you made the two of you even a second late for training.
you graciously decided to leave her alone in the car.
and considering how long alexia had known you, it really was stupid of her to assume that that was it for the day. so when she entered the changing room and opened her bag to find it completely empty, she knew she shouldn’t have felt so surprised.
when alexia looked over at your cubby, she found you sitting there with a cheeky grin on your face, a small—almost identical louis vuitton—bag hanging from your fingers.
you stood up and made your way over to her, clicking your tongue. “you grabbed my old one ale, you really should check your things before you leave.”
really you were lucky that all she did was snatch her bag from your hand before pushing you back towards your cubby. you could tell from the crease in her eyebrows that her patience was starting to crumble.
but instead of leaving it there like you maybe should’ve, you decided to toe the line a little more. during training, you did everything she said, not as well as you usually would but well enough that alexia really couldn’t call you out for anything.
it was around a minute after the water break had been called that you’d found yourself wedged between mapi and patri, the three of you giggling to yourselves as you squirted bits of your water over pina, accidentally getting alexia wet in the process. you had immediately apologised since your girlfriend was not the intended but given the moods you were both in, alexia simply walked away, not really believing the apology was sincere. your shoulders slumped, watching her retreating figure. and until lunchtime, you gave alexia the space she clearly wanted but wouldn’t outright ask for in front of your teammates.
as you grabbed your food, you saw alexia sat with some of the other girls, laughing at something vicky had said. so assuming the blonde had put what happened behind her, you took the empty seat next to her, joining the conversation with ease.
when alexia lifted her fork and you playfully knocked it against yours, you weren’t expecting her to shuffle away from you at all, never mind as quick as she did. much to your dismay, every playful attempt you made at getting your girlfriends attention had either been met with stony silence or a hard look, both of which left you deflated.
so again, you left her alone for the remainder of lunch. and you had been successful in leaving her alone until everyone started filing into the changing room to go home.
once it had started emptying, you shuffled over to alexia, looking up at her hopefully. the huff you let out at the lack of reaction almost made alexia break and if you were still looking at her, you’d have seen the corner of her mouth quirk.
“ale,” you whispered, eyeing the spare hoodie that sat mockingly in her cubby. any other day you would’ve snatched it without a second thought. and if you’d known that alexia’s genuine annoyance had long faded, you’d have done so again. “can you stop ignoring me now? i miss you.”
when that got no reaction, you began gently banging your forehead against her arm, muttering her name under your breath over and over.
after another minute of doing that, you sighed and took a step back. “come over to my place in two hours, i guarantee you’ll be talking to me by the end of the night.”
you really weren’t sure if alexia would come so when your front door finally opened, you perked up. and when alexia rounded the corner, she found you standing by the table, smiling proudly, where her favourite takeout was plated and her favourite flowers sat in a vase.
the smile that spread across alexia’s face had you sighing in relief. “i did good, right?”
“si, muy buena, mi amor.”
you blushed and motioned for her to sit down, the two of you eating in comfortable silence. once you’d both finished, you glanced over at her. “i’m sorry about today ale, i really didn’t mean to annoy you so much. and i really didn’t mean to hit you with that water.”
you watched as alexia stood, making her way over to you and pulling you up into a hug. you melted into her arms and she kissed your head. “i know.”
“and yet you made me believe otherwise, you’re so mean.”
“maybe. but you love me.”
“yeah, i guess i do.”
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minniesmutt · 5 months ago
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☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞
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☾ ━━━ PAIRING: FELIX X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: TEASING, SEXTING, LINGERIE, MEAN DOM!FELIX, BRATTY SUB!READER, FEM!READER, HANDCUFFS, ORAL (M. REC) , DEGRADING/PRAISE, SPITTING, HAIR PULLING, MARKING, PET NAMES (PUMPKIN, BABY, DARLING), BITING, CHOKING, DEEP THROATING, FAACE FUCKING, DACRYPHILIA, SPANKING, ORGASM DENIAL, MANHANDELING, DADDY KINK, THIGH SLAPPING, (1) CUNT SLAP, UNPROTECTED SEX (wrap it before you tap it), CREAMPIE(S), MULTIPLE ROUNDS (2), EDGING, NIPPLE PLAY, DIRTY TALK, MENTIONS OF SAFEWORD, SUB SPACE (?), AFTERCARE, FOOD MENTIONS ☾ ━━━ WC: 2.5K ☾ ━━━ repost from old blog ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog
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     There were two sides to every coin. Felix was no different. To everyone outside his and Y/n’s relationship, he was the sweet boy who loved his girlfriend. And he did, truly. But there was a sneaky dark side underneath the exterior. There always had to be one. 
     Y/n had gotten glimpses at it — mainly when he was playing video games. More often than not in bed. But nothing too crazy. Call her crazy but she very much loved when he would snap and treat her like a whore. 
     Of course, the one day she was extremely needy and just needed her boyfriend to essentially use her, but he was busy. Barely any time to talk. Why not send him a couple of photos and messages for when he had a second? 
     She pulled out his favorite set of lingerie— a light pink ruffle set— and changed into it, dolling up with a bit of makeup and doing her hair. Felix loved lingerie in general. He was always looking at them and buying the little sets. His favorites were the cute pink ones. If she wanted attention, this was a good way to get it.
     Situating herself back on the bed and snapping a few pictures before sending one his way. Can’t give him everything at once!
     She waited a couple more hours before sending him another. Even though he didn’t respond to the first. The second one got a response immediately. 
Lixie🩵: Pumpkin… Y/n💞: Hi baby😊 Lixie🩵: What’s going on? Are you needy? Y/n💞: 🤔 Maybe. Maybe just want to leave my amazing boyfriend a little gift when he has a break Lixie🩵: Your little gift is gonna get me in trouble in this makeup chair Y/n💞: Is my baby hard🤭 Lixie🩵: Y/n. I only have a couple more hours. I can’t finish this shoot if you’re teasing me Y/n💞: I'm not teasing☹️. This would be teasing. 
     Y/n smiled as she dropped a video into the chat thread. There was no response until a couple hours later saying he was on his way home. Y/n smiled at the message. She’d thrown on one of his favorite t-shirts and waited. Mostly pretending to be busy getting dinner ready for them. Until she heard the front door open and then close. 
     She walked out of the kitchen and looked at her boyfriend. Once Felix got her in his sight, game over. 
     In seconds, he had her pinned against the nearest wall and lips sucking on her neck as he pushed his shirt up over her breasts. 
     “Lix,” Y/n whined as he bit a particular spot on her neck. 
     “So goddamn needy today you had to act like a fucking whore while I was working.”
     His deep voice vibrated against her skin. That combined with the degrading made her heat up and her pussy clench. God did she love when he dropped his innocent angel act. 
    Felix pulled the shirt off her and tossed it to the ground, hands grabbing her hips and grinding against her as he marked her neck. Her hand reached up his shirt to feel his abs only for him to grab her arms and pin them harshly against the wall. 
     Felix pulled away from her neck, tightening his grip on her wrist. “Bedroom, knees, now.” Was all he said before letting her go. 
     Y/n smiled to herself as she quickly made her way to the bedroom. Felix wasn’t far behind her as she settled on her knees by the side of their bed. Felix smiled as he walked over to her, tilting her head up before leaning down and kissing her lips briefly. 
     “Face the bed.” He told her before he sat down on the edge of the bed. 
     Y/n did as he instructed as he took a second to reach into the bedside table and grab out a pair of pink leather cuffs. Originally they bought the toy for him but no harm in using them on her. 
     Felix set the cuffs down next to him for a second before pulling his hard cock out of his pants. Y/n bit back a smile as he grabbed the back of her head, pulling her forward just a bit. He tapped the tip of his cock on her lips, smearing some of the precum on her lips like lipgloss. Y/n kept her mouth shut as she looked up at him, not being able to keep her smile hidden.
     “Open up baby,” Felix was trying his hardest to slip back to his softer demeanor. Y/n shook her head at him.
     Felix huffed as he looked into her eyes before pulling her head back by her hair, harshly. “Want me to be mean tonight? That what all the teasing was about earlier? Need me to fuck the brat out of you? Treat you like a whore?”
     Y/n nodded, his deep voice making her cunt even wetter.
     “Words darling.” He pulled harshly on her hair again.
     “Yes! Please Lixie!” Y/n yelped before he released her hair
     “Good girl.” Felix chuckled as he leaned down, kissing her again. Tongue slipped into her mouth immediately as his hand came around to hold her jaw.
     He pulled back, droll connecting their lips together. Felix smiled before licking the thin strand from her lips. “Tongue out.”
     Y/n stuck her tongue out between her closed lips. Felix offered a quick smile before leaning forward again, hand moving down to her neck before biting her tongue. The longer she kept her mouth closed, the harder he bit down, keeping eye contact with her. 
     Eventually, she opened her mouth and Felix let go, keeping a hold on her neck. “That wasn't so hard, was it?” 
     Y/n shook her head as much as she could, keeping her mouth open and tongue out for him. Felix smiled before letting a glob of spit fall from his lips and onto her tongue.
     “That’s my good whore.” His small hand moved back to the back of her head before pushing his hard cock to the back of her throat. Y/n gagged around him as he leaned forward a bit and wrapped the leather cuffs around her wrist behind her back. Holding her in place and making her choke on his cock before he sat back up and pulled her off him. 
     Y/n took a sharp intake of air as Felix gripped her roots. “Look at me baby,” Felix commanded. 
     Y/n looked up at him as he stood up and pushed her back onto his cock. Throwing his head back at the feeling of her throat contracting around him. He pulled his hips back before thrusting back into her mouth. Y/n blinked away the tears that threatened to spill over her lashline. 
     “Poor baby gonna cry from daddy’s dick in her throat?” Felix laughed as he noticed a few tears fall down her cheeks, mascara starting to smear under her eyes. Something about him calling himself “daddy” along with his deep voice was damn near panty-dropping.
     Felix thrusted in and out of her mouth faster, making her take him down the base of his cock. Her drool coated his shaft and dripped down to his balls. It wasn't long till he was bobbing her head to match his thrust as his dick twitched in her throat. He thrusted in a few more times before sinking down into her throat and cumming. His head tilted down and revealed in pleasure before pulling out and letting her catch her breath. 
     Felix took the chance to discard his shirt before pulling her up and bending her over the bed. Y/n turned her head to look back at him as he pulled her panties down, landing a hard smack on her ass. She jumped a bit as he rubbed the area, soothing the pain. 
     “My pretty baby’s soaking like a slut for me,” Felix hummed as he looked between her legs at her glistening cunt. Running two fingers between her folds before pushing them into her. 
     “Lix,” Y/n moaned while he leaned down, placing a kiss along her spine. His fingers
Slowly worked in and out of her. Never once sped up, no matter how much she begged him to. She tried her best to fuck herself as he was thrusting into her only to pull his fingers out.
     “Not tonight baby,” Felix growled in her ear
     “Please, let me come please,” Y/n whined
     “Do you want to come or do you wanna be used?” His hand grabbed the back of her throat
     “Both!” Yn whined as he grinded his hard cock against her ass
     “Both? That’s not how it works baby.”     “Please, Daddy. I need you. I’ll be good.”
     Felix said nothing as he pulled back from her body. Y/n was going to question him before he flipped her onto her back. Arms behind her giving her an arch as he pulled her panties completely off her legs and tossed them next to her on the bed. He spread her legs before leaning down to her.
     “Promise you’ll be good for me?” Felix asked before mouthing her nipple through the sheer fabric of the bralette
     “Yes.” Y/n whined
     Felix hummed in response before he pulled away, “Still need to punish you for earlier.”
     His hand came down on her inner thigh, making her jump and close her legs slightly before he spread them again. He repeated the action on her other thigh, going back and forth a couple of times before rubbing the reddening areas as he looked into her teary eyes.
     “You come when I say you can cum baby. Got it?”
     “Yes,” Y/n sniffled
     “Yes, what?” He asked, this time slapping her cunt and making her head fall back further into the mattress
     “Yes, Daddy!” Y/n cried
     “Good girl,” Felix smiled as he rubbed the tip of his cock through her folds
     Y/n looked back down at him with teary eyes. Felix slid the tip in before grabbing her thighs and pinning them down onto the bed as he slid in further. Bottoming out inside her and giving her a moment to adjust since he hadn’t stretched her out for him.
     Y/n tried to wiggle her hips but it was almost impossible in the position he had her in. And he just slapped her thighs when she tried. Slowly he started moving. Thrusting in and out of her at a steady pace. Hands holding her thighs as his hips snapped into her. 
     “Feel so fucking good. Gonna let me cum in this little cunt all I want tonight?”
     “Please. Fill me up, daddy.”
     Felix smiled as he picked up his pace a bit. Hands moving up from her legs to her hips, getting more of a grip. He used it to his advantage, pulling her to meet his hips. His eyes focused between her legs and her breasts bouncing in the bralette. 
     “Wanna cum…” Y/n moaned as her walls clenched around him
     “Not yet pretty. Don’t get all greedy just because I decided to finally fuck your pathetic pussy.”
     “Please, please Daddy. Can’t hold it.”
     “Poor thing,” Felix chuckled as he pulled out of her, ruining her orgasm. 
     “No no no no,” Y/n cried, “‘M sorry. Won’t cum yet.” 
     Felix did nothing to head her whining as he wrapped his hand around his cock, jerking himself off over her while she begged for him to put it back in. Pulling her legs to her chest in hopes it would entice him. 
     “My pretty cock whore,” Felix laughed before spitting into her pussy and then shoving his dick back into her. Both moaned from the new angle. 
     Felix took his previous pace back as his orgasm approached. Leaning over her body a bit to better angle into her before cumming in her. Felix groaned as he slowed down as he painted her walls with his cum. He slowed to a stop and enjoyed the feeling of her wrapped around him before slowly starting to thrust in and out of her. Fucking his cum deeper into her.
     “Shit,” Y/n moaned once he picked up his pace.
     “Filthy little mouth,” Felix groaned, slapping her thigh again.
     Felix spread her legs open more, still keeping them near her chest. His hands reached up to grope her breasts through the fabric before pulling the bra down, exposing her fully to him. Fingers pinching her nipples, stimulating her a bit more.
     Her legs started shaking and falling to the side without her boyfriend holding them in place. Felix grabbed her thighs and held them down as he repositioned himself to pound into her sensitive hole. Y/n gasped and started begging him again to let her cum.
     “Gonna trap me in your pussy baby? Keep yourself full?” Felix asked as her walls clenched around him
     Words were barely coming out of her at this point. God how Felix wished he could take a picture. That was a conversation for later though.
     Rather he opted to move one hand down to play with her clit. Rubbing quick small circles into the little bud. Reveling in her screams
     “Please let me cum, pleasepleaseplease.”
     “Go ahead, baby. Show me how much of a whore you are for my cock love.”
     A couple more thrusts and small figure eights later and she was released all over cock. Her orgasm mixed with his previous, coating his cock down to the base as he kept going.
     Felix didn’t let up. Still playing with her clit and pounding into her. Fucking her harder as she rode her high, quickly building her next one. His eyes meet her fucked out ones for a moment. “‘S too much daddy,” Y/n babbled
     “What do we say when something to much baby?”
     Y/n stayed silent, except for her moans. Felix gave it a few beats, just in case their safeword slipped from her lips. But it never did. He smiled and pressed on
     “You like having daddy overstimulate you? Don’t you baby?”
     Y/n nodded as she let out a particularly loud moan when his tip hit the right spot inside of her. The stimulation from that and his fingers made her cum a second time just before he finished inside her again.
     His hips slowly rolled to a stop, letting their orgasms die down and juices mix. Felix pulled out after a few moments of catching his breath. He gently put her legs down in a more comfortable position and turned her onto her side to release her wrists from the leather cuffs. He readjusted them so he was lying against the headboard with her on his chest. Placing light kisses on her head and rubbing her back with one hand and one of her wrists with the other.
     “You with me baby?” Felix asked
     “Yeah,” Y/n mumbled, “Thank you lix.”
     “I wasn’t too rough with you? Not to mean?”
     “Not at all bubs,” Y/n propped herself up to look at him. “It felt good.”
     Y/n kissed his chest before moving a bit to peck his lips.
     “Just making sure pumpkin. Let’s go get cleaned up and order some dinner. How’s that sound?” Felix asked
     “Sounds perfect.”
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☾ ━━━━━━ M.LIST    TIP JAR
☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback
© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE
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driaswrld · 1 year ago
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city boys! — gojo satoru and geto suguru.
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wc : 1.4k
summary : you go grocery shopping with satoru and suguru and they're just idiots tbvh (gn! reader)
part of : the star paradox collection.
notes : i have shamelessly brought my calculator to a kfc drive thru and yes i do it at the grocery store bcus i have dyscalculia math sucks don't @ me. also i have so much satosugu brainrot i can't breathe. yay to the satoru themed era of the blog :))
other : this can be read as platonic or poly just however you wanna see it! (like three curse words i think - mentions of cunnilingus) I SWEAR ITS NOT WHAT U THINK
current casette : city boys - burna boy
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There’s something about summer that makes Satoru and Suguru hang off your shoulders more than they ought to. In the most mundane situations too.
“—and it’s not even that serious!” Satoru groans, dragging his feet on the floor, reluctantly marching behind where you’re pushing the trolley. “Who cares what kind of curry it is? Curry is curry.” He reasons with a huff.
Suguru nudges you in the middle of the supermarket aisle from time to time, pointing out things you usually buy, brands you usually prefer over most, and you grab whatever you find remotely necessary and toss in the cart, both of you collectively ignoring Satoru’s whines.
“C’monnn… Listen to me!”
You pick up a can of diced pineapple and look at Suguru. “Nah, that one’s too sour,” he murmurs and you put it back instantly. Afterall, Suguru’s the best taste tester you could ever ask for. Satoru just scarfs down everything in a forty mile radius.
“The design on the can was pretty though, ‘s a shame.” You sigh.
Satoru’s groans fall on deaf ears.
You turn a corner and head into the fruit aisle. Suguru’s eyes flick to something over your head and his steps falter for a moment. While you’re pushing the trolley ahead, a soft smack! noise comes from behind you and before you can turn your head—
“No! I wanted the other one—”
“This one’s better—”
You ignore them, albeit barely with all the commotion both boys are causing in the supermarket. Leaning over an array of cherries on display, you hum to yourself, carefully picking the pretty ones to add to the cart, perusing at the other assortment of fruit and if even possible, Satoru and Suguru’s bickering gets louder.
“That tastes like shit—” “You look like shit—”
“You kiss your mom with that mouth?”
“You eat pussy with that mouth?”
You strain your head forward as an old lady strolls past, her eyes a little wide and eyebrows knitted with a look of utter shock and you shrink. With a stiff, humorless giggle you turn your back to her, suddenly finding a bunch of grapes oddly interesting.
Embarrassing.
And when you breathe a breath of relief as the old lady passes by, Satoru swings his arm over your shoulder, pouting. “Suguru’s a dumbass—” He’s cut off by a smack to the back of his head, and despite yourself you can’t help but laugh a little.
“Will you two just behave and,” you shift out of Satoru’s hold to take the mini package of ridiculously sweet m&m infused rice krispies he has in his other hand.
You toss it into the cart. “—help me pick some stuff for my fruit salad?” Satoru shrugs with a sigh, he hates shopping. It’s so boring—
You laugh and pull up the list you typed up on your phone : Raspberries, check. Kiwi, check. Watermelon, check. Grapes…
“What else do you need?” Suguru asks, and he sidesteps Satoru, leaning casually on the trolley, one foot pushing it forward and backward as you look through the fruits. “Grapes—” you murmur, suddenly feeling indecisive as you look through the different bunches. Green or Purple. Purple or Green.
Satoru pushes his sunglasses down to the curve of his nose. “Green, ‘s prettier,” he says and you turn to grab a bunch of the green grapes as Suguru straightens his body, pretending to look over your shoulder as he sneakily drops a package of plain marshmallow rice krispies into the cart. “Yeah, green would make it look way more appealing, wouldn’t it?” You whisper to yourself.
“I saw that—” Satoru begins to say.
“Purple’s better, healthier than the green ones.” Suguru says with a straight face. Behind your back he flips Satoru off.
You shrug your shoulders and grab a small bunch of both. If anything, it’ll be shared well between you and Shoko in the bentos you make. Hopefully she appreciates the struggle.
Sliding your phone unlocked, you glance at the list again as you step off. Grapes, check. Suguru pushes the trolley, following close behind you as Satoru trudges behind him. “Wait—” You halt immediately, and Suguru has to steer the trolley left so he doesn’t run into you, but Satoru steps on the back of Suguru's shoes, and looks away with a bashful whistle.
“Other aisle, we need to turn around.” You say, sliding your phone back into your back pocket. Canned Pineapples. You forgot you put back the last one. “How many damn aisles are there?” Satoru mumbles as you turn and make a beeline for the next corner, going back where the three of you came. Suguru chuckles.
Kneeling, you grab the canned pineapples opposite to the ones Suguru said were sour. Hopefully that much distance in the store is enough of a difference between the two brands.
You check the list one more time. Pineapples, check.
“Right, that should be it.” You mumble and both boys internally celebrate — well, Satoru makes a show of letting out a long dramatic sigh of relief while Suguru nods.
Taking a look into the cart, Satoru pettily moves his package of rice krispies on the other side of the cart, away from Suguru’s and when Suguru looks at him incredulously, he sticks a tongue out, “Your flavor’s trash.”
Suguru rolls his eyes and is about to push the trolley forward to run him over when he sees you pull out a scientific calculator from your tote.
A scientific calculator. The same one you use for school. “The fu—” Satoru is about to say, and Suguru glances at him, both of them trying to at least read each other’s minds about what the hell is going on.
You however, are so hyper focused on your little task, pushing the buttons of your calculator, tongue poking the inside of your cheek. Satoru and Suguru watch you for all of two minutes. One minute spent with expressions morphing from confused, to even more confused, to utterly amused. The second minute spent snickering quietly and snapping silent pictures for the groupchat.
“Huh, I went over a little.” You hum and though they haven’t wiped the sheer amusement off their faces, they both find themselves intrigued. “By how much?” Suguru asks, quickly sending off the pictures to the groupchat.
“Seven hundred yen.” You reply as you step forward to peer into the cart, willing and ready to discard one unnecessary item to drop the price.
Three of your phones chime. Satoru checks his own notification.
[Gojo Fanclub]
Nanaminn <3 : who added me to this???
Nanaminn <3 : delete my number gojo.
“Bet it’s the curry.” Satoru mumbles absentmindedly, typing at his phone screen. “The curry’s like—” he pauses, shoves his phone in his hoodie pocket and counts silently on his fingers. “A thousand yen or something — they must’ve put the god of curry in there or something.”
“It’s not the curry,” you reason scouring the cart for any discrepancies. And there’s quite a few of them. Including but not limited to some Sakura tarts, sour candies, an extra package of rice krispies—
“The curry powder we picked is five hundred yen, it’s not the curry.” Suguru shrugs, and Satoru leans against one of the shelves of seasoning, letting out a quiet sneeze.
“Bless you— I need to recheck these.” The calculator comes out again as you murmur to yourself, the click clacking of the buttons drowning out your own thoughts.
“I’m just saying— maybe it was the rice krispie Suguru snuck into the cart—” Satoru mumbles, all while he bends his body at the end of the aisle, reaching blindly around to the shelves on the other side.
“You put one in, I was only balancing the trolley weight.” Suguru interrupts, and he turns his head away when you look up from your calculator at him accusingly.
“See?” Satoru grins, almost victoriously as he grasps a package of baumkuchen, wheeling his hand back as he sidesteps Suguru, moving to slide the pastry into the trolley. “Who knows what else’ll just drop into the cart?” And your calculator is forgotten as you snatch the pastry from Satoru’s hand. “Nothing else is dropping into the cart—”
But something else catches your attention as you’re about to scold him.
Two bright green bags, hidden at the bottom of the cart, stuffed under the packaging of Sakura tarts.
“Who the hell put Kenpi chips in here?”
Satoru and Suguru both freeze, and suddenly their accusing fingers are pointed at each other. But instead of scolding them like they expect—
“Should’ve at least put one for me.”
You're never going to the grocery store with them again.
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Bonus :
“Satoru’s paying for the extra snacks—”
“Not fair! Suguru shouldn’t get to just stuff his face—”
“Only two of those snacks are mine. Two. Out of ten.”
A notification sounds on the three of your phones.
[Gojo Fanclub]
Nanaminn <3 : is that my calculator that you borrowed???
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@todorokies gets the privilege tag cs i told knives ab this first😭
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toji-sweetheart · 3 months ago
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𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐤 | 𝐭. 𝐳𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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synopsis: Your best friend who is also in your book club drops something a bit darker than what the group is used to, but deep down you find that it triggers something for you and all you need is your husband's help.
wc: 8.5k
tags: 18+ ONLY content + explicit smut: minors and empty blogs DNI + she/her pronouns used + not beta read + my oc! characters + some angst? + cnc roleplay + rough sex + you smoke weed and drink wine but not before the scene + soft degradation with praise + toe sucking (you receiving) + size kink + he's taller than you + he's strong and can you manhandle you + sex toys + no part2 to this!
please note that I wrote this for myself and myself only so this is very self-indulgent! I had so much fun writing this!!! this is a repost that I did edit!
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By now Toji knew the drill seeing that it was a tradition. 
You and a few friends would end up at your shared house with wine and a fruity paper-rolled joint each for everyone while talking about the book you all read over the last three weeks before meeting every Saturday at the end of the month to gush about the characters and plot. 
It was only once a month seeing that everyone had jobs and lives that demanded all of your attention and this was a way for you to finally relax and let go of all your responsibilities, forget everything, and laugh with your friends. 
There were only six of you, but mostly only three would come. 
“I’m not sure where to even begin with this book, the male main character to die for, Kaleb is dreamy, and the way he treats Anna makes me want to rip my hair out and eat it, I need a man like that, I hate you for that,” Mai whined as soon as she settled on the loveseat next to Amy. 
The four of you sat on your patio couch under the orange and red streaked sky as a warm summer breeze blew by bringing all the season's smells, someone's pool, a BBQ happening at the end of the road, and fresh-cut grass.
All eyes shifted to you as you poured a glass of sweet white wine. “What?” Your voice came out high-pitched knowing exactly why the other women were looking at you, because they knew you were living a main character lifestyle with your husband Toji. 
Hana whose job was to roll the joints sat next to you and elbowed you gently making you sputter on your wine. “We have no choice but to live vicariously through you and the books, but this one is maybe even something you haven’t done,” Mai told you with a silly grin as she grabbed her purse. 
You watched as she dug through the tote until she finally found what she was looking for. “Ah! So this book is on the darker side, and since it was my turn to choose I picked this one up for everyone.” She announced proudly handing out the books to everyone as her curly burnt orange hair fell in her face. 
Everyone looked at each other and then at Mai skeptically. “Dark how?” Amy asked skeptically once she helped finish the last joint, it was set up beforehand that everyone would get their own so there wasn’t a puff puff pass rule or anything like that and no one ended with burnt fingers or the joint going out. 
“Well,” Mai cleared her throat with a coy smile as she took the cherry-flavored joint and leaned back, “the male mc is obsessed with the female lead but they had an awful breakup and he doesn’t accept it so he breaks into their old shared apartment while she gets ready for a date and he fucks the life out of her then it follows the roller coaster of their relationship.” 
Silence filled the patio minus the soft breeze that blew by ruffling up the pages of the books that sat on the coffee table. “He just breaks in and fucks her?” Amy questioned with a scrunched-up nose, her skin glowing under the lamps that Mai hung up for you as she leaned in to look at Mai with incredulous eyes. 
Amy and Hana were pretty vanilla which is something you never hold against them but Mai will gladly let her freak flag fly and has not a problem with it, nor do you have an issue matching her freak. 
“She does want it at first, have you two never heard of dubious consent?” Mai shot back rolling her eyes as she tucked her slender legs under her glancing at you for backup. 
“Yes, it’s borderline noncon though Mai.” Amy sighed and tucked a piece of blonde hair behind her ear glancing at Hana and then you. 
You sighed not wanting to get in the middle of it. “How about we just read it and see?” Hana suggested surprising the rest of the group as she lit her joint. 
Amy wanted to scoff, you could see it in her eyes but she remained silent. “You know if you pulled that stick out of your ass you’d enjoy things more,” Mai told Amy pushing her buttons wanting to get a reaction out of the controlled woman. 
“Stop it. We only meet once a month and we’re going to fight over what our preferences are in bed? We are adult women with different wants and needs, so stop bristling her Mai, and Amy, I love you honey but you do need to relax a bit and I’m not saying you have to read it, do some reviews on it then see.” 
Mai looked at you conveying her thanks with a wet smooch on the cheek and a tight hug. “This is why we keep you around, you tell us how it is without being too much of a bitch.” She cooed playfully and took the lighter from Hana to light the end of her cherry-flavored joint. 
“Somehow I was dubbed the mother of the group when you are all older than me and I have no children, but maybe you three. Now thank Mommy.” You told them with a grin grabbing your strawberry-flavored joint and the new book settling it in your lap opening to the first chapter. 
Amy was the last one to grab the book after she looked up a few reviews dubbing it okay to read, the scent of marijuana lingered about relaxing your body further onto the patio couch as did the wine that made you giggle as you read the third page reminding you of Toji the other night who was teasing you.
Hana leaned over making sure that her page matched yours when her glassy eyes met yours. “What’s so funny?” She asked curiously as to why you were grinning as the male character was thinking about the female lead and envisioning her in front of him as he jerked off. 
“Nothing, just thinking of what my husband told me last night, he was something…he reminds me of this guy, Kaleb.” You hummed taking a sip of your wine and settling next to Hana resting your head on her shoulder. 
Mai made sure to slide a bookmark between the pages listening to you intently. “What did he say?” She asked wiggling her eyebrows with a grin. 
You rolled your eyes. “Just keep reading, we have an hour to finish a chapter or two and we got to call it a night, Toji will be home soon.” You told them excited for your husband's arrival earning collective head nods from your friends. 
“It’s almost like your husband doesn’t like us or something.” Mai sing-songed, her blue eyes almost shut as she laid back resting her head on Amy’s lap forging the reason that she was even here. 
“It’s not that, he just likes our alone time is all, and I love you three but Mai you yap way too much, Amy you’re so wound up sometimes, and Hana you are too quiet, he thinks you’re scared of him.” You hummed still following the lines on the paper. 
Hana’s jaw dropped as her face flushed red which you knew was partially due to her crushing on Toji, but it seemed like a lot of women do but you knew that your friends would never try to hurt you in any way and you were very comfortable and confident in your love and relationship with Toji. 
Mai and Amy shared a look before glancing at you. “I’m not scared of him but he is scary-looking, and he doesn’t smile unless you’re around,” Hana told you with a high-pitched giggle happy for you more than anything, the other women knew of your life before Toji and how he helped you flourish. 
You couldn’t help but feel a flush of warmth at that, your entire face burned as you hid it in between the pages of your book listening to your friends hoot and howl while teasing you about your teddybear husband. “You three need to start joining dating sites instead of focusing on fictional men you know.” 
“Says the only married one in our group who gets dicked down whenever she wants! Do you know the last time I got laid? If I open my legs you will hear my hips squeaking and I’m sure the spider that made a home there will be upset.” Mai cried as she tossed herself back on the patio couch with a whine. 
All of you busted out in a chorus of laughter as you squeezed Hana’s hand before leaning back with your almost-finished joint, the books were forgotten now as you all waited for Hana to roll another one while Amy refilled the wine glasses. “You sure did get lucky with Toji,” Hana told you with a soft smile.
“He’s not going to leave her so stop acting like it,” Mai told her friend with a warning look causing the air to shift from playful to something thicker with tension.
Hana rolled her eyes and excused herself to your kitchen to help Amy. “She wants your man, why is she still here if she wants to fuck him?” Mai asked with an irritated huff. You knew that she wanted only the best for you, she’s been your best friend since pre-school and Toji was her brother-in-law. 
You lit your second joint and rested your feet on the coffee table letting your eyes shift to the lights that twinkled and gently swayed with the wind knowing Mai was right in a way. “She can fantasize about him all she wants because I know I’m the only woman my husband wants.” You replied with a shrug. 
“Could never be me, if you wanted my man I’d break your kneecaps.” 
Her lips split in a wicked grin as she broke out into giggles. “Well, we both know that you don’t even like men that much, you’re into women.” 
Mai shrugged and pulled her phone out to show you a picture of someone's dating profile. “She’s very pretty, did you message her?” You asked scrolling through her pictures hoping your best friend finds the love she deserves. 
She snatched her phone back and shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m nervous too, this woman is way out of my league.” 
“Have you looked in the mirror lately? I promise you that she will want you and about Hana, leave her alone. I trust her fully and I know she’d never ever hurt me in that way, plus Toji would tell her to fuck off.” You told her with a shrug of your shoulders feeling your body melt further into the cushions. 
“How do you become so confident like that?” Mai asked batting her eyelashes as she placed both linked hands over her heart as she sat up and leaned in. 
You laughed and pushed her face away softly and gently so as not to hurt her just in time for Hana and Amy to join you two with new glasses of wine. “What’s so funny?” Hana asked, her curiosity sometimes got the best of her. 
Mai shook her head when the front door creaked open and then shut followed by Toji’s heavy footsteps into the kitchen where he saw the four of you huddled outside on the patio. His eyes instantly found you with a smile. 
All of the other women watched as you scrambled up off the couch to hurry inside and over to your husband wrapping him in a hug the best you could. “Smokin’ and drinkin’ are we? I’m in for it tonight.” Toji teased rubbing your shoulders then back keeping you close to him as he kissed the crown of your head. 
He knew that when you got a hold of either one or both that his dick wouldn’t have any rest, and your sexual appetite for him seemed to grow making you into a feral woman that wanted to mate with her lover over and over again. 
“They are so cute.” Hana sighed resting her chin in her palm as she watched you and Toji kiss and hold each other close while talking about your days. 
Mai rolled her eyes and cleaned up the table before gathering her stuff and leaving your book on the patio couch. “It’s time for us to go before she rips his clothes off.” She teased leading the other two into the kitchen causing you to pull away from Toji stammering when you got caught in a deep liplock. 
Amy was the first one to hug you and bid a goodnight followed by Hana then Mai. “I’m watching Hana, I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you!” She kissed your cheek then looked at Toji and rolled her eyes waving at him. 
Toji chuckled and made sure they all got to their cars safely from the front door as you stood behind him. “I’m so glad you’re home, I missed you so much.” You whispered standing up your tippy-toes to kiss him when he turned to shut the door and face you. 
His hands swooped down to your ass as you jumped up letting him hold you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around him the best you could while you bumped your nose against him inhaling his scent. “I missed you too baby.” 
You sighed in contentment and let him carry you straight to the bedroom where he lay on top of the blankets with a heavy sigh as you straddled him resting your hands on his broad shoulders and massaging the tense muscles. 
“What are you thinkin’ about darlin’?” He asked hooking his finger under your chin softly pulling your head up to meet his gaze. Years later he could still fill your belly with that soft tug of butterflies and make your heart clench like you were falling in love with him all over again. 
Toji tucked one hand behind his head to look at you as you moved down between his legs that he spread. “It was Mai’s turn to pick a book time and it’s very interesting, to say the least, but it gave me an idea.” You hummed with a slight slur as your fingers tugged his pants off tossing them on the floor. 
His eyes watched as your hands moved to remove his shirt and yours then your shorts then panties before settling on your side next to Toji leaving you both stark naked and skin to skin letting his heat fuse into you as you traced the tattoo of your name on his chest. “Idea?” He asked wanting to know more. 
You couldn’t look him in the eye even though he’s tasted every single inch of your skin. “So—promise not to laugh or anything?” You asked quietly and muffled feeling the weed and wine loosen your tongue. 
“Have I ever?” Toji questioned. 
“Fair point.” You mumbled. 
His fingers traced your spine as silence filled the bedroom for a moment. “The main male character is with the female lead and they broke up but he’s obsessed with her so when she breaks up with him he breaks into her apartment which they shared and he fucks her before her date.” 
“And…you want me to do that?” He asked raising an eyebrow and chuckling when you nodded your head that was stuffed between his ribs and arm when you rolled to your stomach feeling his hand travel further down to your ass. 
“Well, I want to do a roleplay of sorts, we pretend to break up in a public place to make it feel real then you follow me home.” You murmured finally picking your head up to look at him as your toes curled when his hand cupped your jaw gently leaning in to press a tender kiss to your head. 
Toji pulled away to trace your upper lip with his thumb gazing into your eyes intently making the air shrink around you both, everything else faded away as he talked in a low voice making your pussy wet. “So you want me to follow you home and break in and fuck you rough while you try and “fight” me off?” 
You nodded feeling your face heat up in embarrassment as you bit your bottom lip. “Yes, I trust you, and it’s something new. We’ve done a lot, but never something like that and it would be fun I think, also we will have a safe word in case something happens, but I give you my complete permission to be rough, call me sweet or dirty names, and use me as nothing but a toy.” 
Toji felt his blood simmer as he envisioned the many ways he could have you folded. “I agree, the safe word can be peach because you taste like one and smell like it too, also if we do it at a restaurant or something you can throw your water on me, I know that’s something you’ve always wanted to do to someone.” He leaned in stealing your breath with a deep kiss. 
“You are so trying to get sucked and fucked tonight, but I’m so sleepy.” You murmured with a soft giggle as Toji moved you both to cover you and him up with the comforter tucking you in his side and making sure you were resting your head on his chest letting his heartbeat lull you into a deep sleep. 
—----------
Morning came all too quickly. 
Sun filtered through the open curtains spilling into the room bathing it in a warm golden light waking you up and snuggling back in Toji’s arms. You knew that during the night you and him ended up back to back fighting for the covers, and then in the morning he pulled you back on his warm chest. 
“Good morning darlin’,” Toji murmured with a smile in his voice as he gave your ass a good squeeze making you squeal and roll out of his arms rolling your eyes playfully as you picked up his shirt from the floor pulling it on. 
Toji followed after you clad in his boxers sure to grab you again pulling you into his chest and kissing you before letting go watching as you started on the coffee while he pulled out leftovers for breakfast. “When do you want to do your little roleplay?” He asked heating the food as you made both cups. 
You hummed softly curling your toes. “I’m not sure, maybe next weekend? I need to read the book some more.” 
“I have it off and you’ll need to recover from Friday night.” He told you with a grin as you turned around to look at him with love and adoration. 
Both of you ate together, letting him feed you here and there before he went outside to work on the shed for the background while you cleaned up and joined him shortly after with your book curling up on the couch reaching for your joint from last night lighting it while leaning back picking up from your spot. 
Toji couldn’t help but glance at you, nearly cutting off a digit when you turned on your side which caused his shirt to slide up exposing the curve of your bare ass that caused his cock to swell forgetting the whole reason why he was out here, unbeknownst to you he stalked quietly up to you when you laid on your belly. 
Your eyes were trained intently on the words, you and Toji replacing the actions the characters were doing. Currently, the male lead was stalking his ex after the encounter, something he wasn’t able to forget but it seemed she could and that ignited him to go to plan B, kidnapping her. 
“Oh!” You gasped when you felt Toji slide his hands under your hips lifting high in the air and pushing the shirt down to pool at your head while he kneeled behind you kissing the curve of your ass making you moan and shudder feeling his tongue glide over your pussylips like a ghost. 
Toji spread your cheeks open pulling away to watch your holes clench simultaneously making him chuckle, he ran his finger up the seam of your pussy playing lightly with your slick entrance. “Read out loud sweetheart, you stop what you’re doing and I stop and I think we both don’t want that, do we?” 
“‘His Adam's apple bobbed as his eyes followed Anna, her hair swished back and forth mostly from her forgetting a hair tie this morning before her run. The black strands were just wrapped around his fist last night remembering how she sucked his cock—Toji!” You whined pushing back in his face panting. 
His tongue rimmed your cunt before sucking on your clit as his fingers massaged the fat of your ass pulling you closer trying to suffocate himself in your essence as you tried your best to stutter out another sentence feeling the tingles deep in your gut spreading into your veins making you hazy. 
Thick fingers slid inside your wet cunt with a loud squelch as Toji tongued your pussy while pumping in and out in quick succession moaning softly while feeling his cock throb and pulse at how good you tasted, like the sweetest candy he’s ever had. 
You gripped the couch cushion letting your eyes flutter shut as pleasure took over feeling your orgasm rise and crash over you while moaning your husband's name over and over like a soft prayer to your salvation. 
His addiction to you and yours to him made it hard to finish the rest of the book as you found yourself between his legs while he sat man-spread where you just were while gagging on the length of his dick, slurping and licking the tip before kissing your way down to his sack sucking on it gently. 
Toji felt like he was in heaven when you deepthroated him not breaking eye contact as his cock pulsed sending jets of thick and warm cum over your face when you pulled him out of your mouth letting him coat you in his essence. 
It didn’t take long for you to both get in the shower cleaning each other off before making your way into the kitchen for some lunch enjoying your days off before going to work tomorrow. 
======================================================
Each day passed by and you texted Mai, Hana, and Amy in your group chat asking if the four of you could meet up knowing the other two had left the bookclub and friend group. 
You wanted to tell them all about your dirty secret because it felt like you were heating up from the inside out and during work, you finished the book unable to help yourself. 
It wasn't something that happened often, only when the words pulled you in and between staying up after Toji went to bed knowing he’d want you to get some rest but it was difficult to put it down when you got to a good part. 
An hour after work you found yourself nestled next to Mai while you and her sat across from Hana and Amy sharing a plate of food. “So, I finished the book.” You announced with a small grin earning a collective gasp from them. 
“It’s only been three days! It’s a seven-hundred-and-something-page book!” Amy squealed gathering the attention of nearby tables, she apologized and sucked on her straw keeping her head down. 
Mai snorted with laughter and rolled her eyes. “I’m not surprised, let me guess you and Mr. Perfect are going to play something out in there?” She asked already knowing how the gears turn in your head. 
Hana’s face burned a bright pink as you told them in a pg-thirteen rating of what you and Toji had planned this weekend. “Are you going to break up in public? What if someone you know sees?” She questioned. 
“It’s none of their business even if they do, and again it sounds like you want them to break up. You do know that is her husband?” Mai shot back glaring at Hana who sputtered as all three of you looked at her. 
She nodded her head and blushed, her creamy complexion was a dark red. “I don’t mean it like that, I don’t want people to start rumors. You know how people can be.” Hana defended herself before taking a sip of her drink. 
Mai glanced at you with a skeptical look on her face and a slight I told you so when Amy cleared her throat. You leaned in to gaze at Hana. “I don’t care if they do or not, and I don’t know why you care so much. I hope you know that Toji would never break out vows nor does he even like you like that.” 
“I don’t want him! I want you!” Hana cried out, her hazel eyes were wild as they widened when her mind caught up with what she just said out loud. 
Mai’s jaw dropped as she tried to process the bomb Hana dropped. “Is that why you stared at her when she was wearing shorts? You want to fuck her!?” She asked and threw her head back howling with laughter at the situation. 
You sat there letting the news sink in for a moment unsure how to respond. “I—I got to go home, I’ll see you later.” Everyone watched as you scrambled out of the booth and to your car all but peeling out of the parking lot to go home. 
Toji was sprawled out on the couch when you slipped inside the living room setting your purse down. “Hana wants to fuck me.” His head snapped toward you as you stood by the couch looking back at him. 
The look on his face as he took in everything made you wince as you sat next to him. “Did she say that?” He asked cocking an eyebrow while taking hold of your hand and kissing it gently. 
“She did, Mai thought she wanted you but she blurted it out tonight that she wants me….and how am I supposed to take that?” You asked exasperated. 
To be honest you weren’t sure if it was better if she liked your husband. 
“I don’t blame her, but I don’t share, and trust me I already had a few coworkers who had their lips busted for even joking about sharing you.” 
Your mouth opened as you stared at your husband playfully slapping and shoving his shoulder, but the mountain of a man barely even moved. “Is that why you came home with sore knuckles?” You asked moving to curl in his lap. 
Toji wrapped you in a tight hug kissing the top of your head. “You’re my baby, I ain’t goin’ to let anyone talk about you like that, but me.” He husked kissing your jaw when you tilted your head up, his tongue tracing down your neck where he sucked on the soft flesh heating your body. 
“My sweet slut who will do anything for her husband, won’t you?” Toji cooed in your ear as his fingers played with the hem of your shirt making you shiver when his tongue traced the shell before nipping the lobe softly making you cry out as you bucked your hips rubbing against his bulge with a moan. 
His words made your face burn with want and you knew Toji would never mean anything of that, he knew what you liked and he wanted to keep you happy. You nodded looking at him with low-lidded eyes as you moved to kneel between his legs palming his bulge before rubbing your face against it. 
The soft material of his sweatpants felt nice against your cheek while you hooked one finger into the band of his pants and boxers to tug it down revealing his cock that slapped against his stomach, heavy and taut. 
He smelled like musk with a hint of sweat and all male, potent too. 
It made your mouth water as you wrapped your finger around the thick shaft unable to touch your tips. “I love seeing you on your knees for me.” Toji groaned watching you while he spread his legs wider to make more room for you. 
You rose on your knees and leaned in to kiss the sticky tip of his cock lapping up the pre-cum that reminded you of a pearl, shimmery and a creamy white that tasted like Toji urging you to suck more of him into your mouth hollowing your cheeks out making sure to pleasure your husband the best you can. 
His head laid back on the back of the couch hearing you gag wetly around his length that choked you when you reached as far as you could go. Your eyes stung with tears as you stuffed more of him feeling your spit bubble thickly around the corner of your lips that dripped down his cock making a mess. 
Toji wanted to see you with a mouthful of his dick so he sat up a little more to look down at you through dark lashes as you jerked off the rest that you weren’t drooling on. “So pretty ‘f me like that, my cute cocksleeve.” 
You moaned letting your eyes flutter shut when you felt Toji slip his hands under your armpits to lift you with ease pulling his cock free from your mouth with a wet pop. “What are you doing?!” You squealed as he laid you on the couch. 
“I’m going to fuck you.” He answered like it was self-explanatory. 
Your mouth opened then closed when you felt your cunt clench around nothing, his fingers danced over your slick heat before using it to lube up his dick. Toji gripped the base of it softly slapping it against your pussy with a smirk watching your face screw up and pout when he barely thrust halfway in. 
With your legs spread obscenely wide Toji pushed them further back until your knees were almost touching your ears as he gripped the back of your thigh huffing and puffing as your warm and wet heat sucked him in. 
He dropped down on his elbows grazing his lips against yours mingling your breaths together as he kissed you deeply, one hand slid under your head and the other went under your ass giving a cheek a soft squeeze as he slowly stroked in and out of you making your head hazy and body soft as putty. 
Toji knew the right spots to hit and what to do to make you cream, so his thumb skated along your hip and soft belly to make tight circles around your clit making you tighten around him and push your chest out more. “T—ohji!” 
Your mouth parted in a small when his mushroom tip kissed your cervix, it was an intoxicating blend of pain and bliss that made you cling tighter to him falling into the throes of pure pleasure as you succumbed to your orgasm. 
========================================================
Ever since that night with your friends, you haven’t talked to Hana, and Amy really but you called Mai every day. “I had no idea that she had the hots for you, do you think she touches herself thinking about you? OH! When you talked about Toji eating you out do you wonder if she wanted to be him?” 
“Why must you ask me those questions? I texted her but I don’t how to feel, I don’t want to lose our friendship because I do love her but I also didn’t want her to fall more in love with me. I don’t even know.” You sighed and scrubbed at your face as you leaned against the counter Friday morning. 
Mai cackled in the background followed by a loud bong rip. “Sorry, wake and bake. I have to before work or I’ll go apeshit crazy on someone, anyway, I know how you feel. Talk to her and let her know that babe.” She hummed followed by a loud hacking sound in your ear making you roll your eyes as you walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway.
“How can you be so silly more times than not but know the right thing to say? And it’s not only his dick that I love, I also love Toji for who he is, I love how he makes me feel, and when I’m having a bad day he just knows.” You gushed cleaning up the mess you made for tonight’s preparation in your bedroom. 
Mai made a fake gagging sound, the same noise she made when you two got married. “Sounds like you love me too. Call her. I’ll see you later because I want all the deets on how he made you his cum slut!” Before you got the chance to say anything else she hung up making you laugh. 
Toji was in the shower when you picked your outfit to wear for breaking up with him, it was a sundress that you knew would drive him nuts. Once you got dressed you stepped into the steamy bathroom just in time for him to get out wrapping his towel around his waist and stopping your movements. 
“You are so sexy and so handsome, I’m not sure how you haven’t gotten sick of me yet with me loving on you all the time.” You told him with a warm genuine smile that made his chest tighten while he stood behind you watching as you styled your hair and put on lip gloss and mascara. 
He couldn’t help himself and rest his hands on your hips popping your ass out a little so he could grind lazily against you. “Because I like it, especially when you’re so needy for me, I love how obsessed you are with me because I feel the same way.” You watched in the mirror as he snaked one arm around your waist. 
His lips trailed up your neck not breaking eye contact as he kissed up your throat and shoulder fingering the strap to your dress. “You’re a minx.” He groaned deeply inhaling your natural musk feeling his cock grow and swell. 
You did too as he pulled you impossibly closer leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses that left you a quivering and shivering mess as he pulled away with a chuckle. 
“Why are you breakin’ up with me? I fucked your sister or somethin’?” Toji asked as you followed him to the bedroom for your shoes and to spray on his favorite perfume. He wanted to know what the fake reason was. 
You laughed and rolled your eyes as you grabbed your shoes and sat on the edge of the bed watching him get dressed in shorts and a loose t-shirt that showcased his corded muscles and bulging biceps you wanted to bite. 
“I don’t even have a sister, besides Mai and she likes women more than men. What if you don’t pay enough attention to me? I could be the one fucking your best friend or something?” You suggested leaning back propping yourself up by your hands as he fixed his hair in the mirror before turning to look at you.
His lips were set in a straight line thinking about you and Shiu. “I think I pay plenty of attention to my pretty girl, am I right?” He asked stepping forward and planting his fists on either side of you to bend down until his face was inches from yours. 
Your eyes searched his feeling your breath hitch in your throat as he smirked pulling away once more making you reach out and slap his ass before scrambling off the bed and toward the living room grabbing your purse and following Toji to the car letting him open your door for you. 
“Remember the safe word? You say that at any time and we stop, I don’t care what it is. You’re breaking up with me because I’m too suffocating and you need a break from me, you get up from the table and get in the car, I’ll call a taxi home to make it feel really real, you’re going on a date with Shiu.” 
Toji explained sounding like he already had this planned out before you even brought it up. “I agree, I think it’s so sexy and hot when you take charge like that.” You cooed leaning over to kiss his jaw tracing his scar before pulling away. 
By the time you both made it to the cafe that you’d never visited before which was a bit out of town your nerves were a bit jumbled as you were seated in a populated area. The waiter sat the drinks down when you inhaled deeply gathering up the courage as you looked at Toji who was leaning back. 
The both of you got into character letting your real selves slip away for a moment. 
His eyes were trained on you and more than anything you wanted to lean in and kiss him, tell him how much you love him and how thankful you are that he’s your husband. “We need to break up.” You murmured holding your glass.
Toji leaned in, his face darkening as he absorbed your sentence. “No.” 
You furrowed your eyebrows feeling a stinging sensation deep in your gut, but you knew it wasn’t real, however, even the thought of losing him made you want to cry and lash out. “Yes, you are way too suffocating me. I can’t even have friends over without you getting jealous and I like someone else.” 
Your voice rose a little as you stared back at him reminding you of the fights you had. “Who do you like?” Toji asked completely in character now as his thick fingers drummed atop the table waiting for your answer. 
“Shiu.” 
His eyebrows rose as he whistled low and slow. “My best friend?” 
“Yes, it’s over.” You stated again watching him give the smallest of nods hinting that it was okay for you to throw the water on him. Your hand shook a little as you grabbed the glass which was slippery from the condensation while you pulled your arm back tossing the ice-cold liquid on your husband. 
He stood up quickly knocking over his chair as his grey shirt soaked up the water leaving a dark patch that clung to his abs, this time he gathered everyone's attention. “Sir, is everything okay?” The waiter came up to Toji with a shocked look on his face as he glanced at you watching you stand up fast. 
Without another word and a heart beating way too fast, you scurried to your car, the keys shaking too much for you to get the car unlocked forgetting you could hit the key fob instead, it felt so real and even though you slipped your wedding rings off before heading out you wished you had it with you. 
It took you only twenty minutes to get home and in the door searching for your phone in your purse as you rooted around it checking for a text from Toji. 
Nothing. 
It was growing darker but in the summer months, the sky didn’t turn black until well into the evening and now you had no choice but to wait feeling anxious and excitement build up as you took a shower and ended up in your bedroom sitting in front of your vanity as the minutes ticked by stretching into hours. 
You weren’t sure what Toji was doing to kill his time but it made you restless. 
With no choice but to wait you applied your makeup at your vanity like you were getting ready for a date as you listened to your playlist, the thought of Toji waiting and stalking you made your pussy burn with something new, and the blood in your veins felt thicker and hotter as you shut your eyes hearing the window. 
Too wrapped up in your head you had no idea how much time had passed by when the pane slid open to reveal Toji in a mask, only his eyes and mouth visible which sported a smirk. “Now darlin’, it’s not nice to break a man’s heart and leave him there hanging. You owe me.” He muttered pushing the rest of the window open and climbing through gracefully before towering above you. 
Your mouth dropped open as you stood up from your chair and frowned staying in character. “What are you doing here?! I told you that we’re over!” You all but shouted thankful that you didn’t have any neighbors. 
Toji chuckled darkly and took another step toward you watching as you quickly dodged him and hopped on the bed to bypass him and get out of the bedroom but he was much faster grabbing onto you and tossing you back onto the mattress reaching for his duffle bag you didn’t even pay attention to. 
He sat it on the edge of the bed and unzipped it slowly pulling out pink silk ropes, easy on the skin and in your favorite color too. You lay there frozen in faux fear and real-life desire that made your blood boil. Toji grabbed your ankles suddenly drawing you down the bed causing you to fight him off. 
“Keep struggling, it just makes me want you that much more.” He whispered in your ear as he pinned you to the bed on your belly with your arms behind your back, you felt the soft silk rope weave between your wrists that Toji tied not too tight to hurt but enough that you had to wriggle a bit to take them off. 
His fingers trailed down your thighs lifting your skirt a bit to look at the thong you slid on making him groan. “Oh, princess. You really know how to spoil a man.” Toji moaned, the sound gurgling in his throat as he pushed your legs together and bent your knees at a ninety-degree angle tying you in a hogtie.
Toji was sure to offset your feet slightly so your ankle bones wouldn’t rub against each other causing you pain, it seemed that he did his research. 
You mewled when he stroked your barely clad-pussy for a moment before pulling away. 
With your face buried in the sheets you couldn’t see anything but you could hear Toji digging around in his bag for something, a surprise until the soft hum of the Hitachi wand, one of his favorite things to use on you. 
He tossed it by your head making sure you could see the pink body. 
“No one will ever be able to make you feel as good as I do darlin’, it hurts me that you think you can.” He grunted in your ear as he grabbed the wand moving to kneel behind you, his rough hands lifted your hips before he stuffed a pillow under you keeping your ass high in the air. 
A little maneuvering and you could feel the rubberized head of the toy press against you when suddenly it turned off making you jerk and moan. “Going to make you nice and dumb before I give you what you really want.” 
You tried to buck up and get him off but it was fruitless when his free hand was pinning your shoulder down making it impossible to get up. Toji drug the head between your slick pussylips pressing it more into your clit. 
He kept this up, teasing you by dragging it up and down sometimes pushing it against your quivering hole. “If you want it so bad all you have to do is use your big girl words, can you do that?” Toji asked spread your cheeks open. 
Feeling so exposed you gasped even though he’s fucked every hole he could. 
“I hate you! We’re broken up!” You cried with faux tears that caught Toji’s attention making his dick pulse, his hand came down to swipe away your tears. 
He chuckled and pulled the toy away tossing it on the bed before he untied you, as soon as the last knot was undone you attempted to wiggle up the bed. “Look so pretty while you’re cryin’ for me. If you hated me so much why are you letting me play with you?” Toji husked delivering a soft smack to your rump. 
Toji took his mask off and that was it, keeping himself completely dressed while he ripped your clothes off at the seams making you shriek, the loud sound of fibers being torn filled your ears as you watched him toss the tattered bits to the floor before he untied your hands and ankles. 
He grabbed you again laying you flat on your back as he hovered above you with a crazy smirk. You could read it in his face he didn’t want to hurt you. 
You nodded letting him know you were okay, little checkins to make sure you still wanted this. “I don’t have a choice, you take and take.” You whined trying to push him off you but it was pointless when he pinned your hands above your head. 
Using his free hand he trailed it down your chest groping each breast and tweaking both nipples until he reached your pussy. “Holy hell, you’re so fuckin’ wet.” He was thrown off by how much slick your cunt had produced, making between your thighs a wet mess. 
Toji groaned spreading the wetness before sliding two fingers knuckle deep in making you cry out and lay your head back on the pillow he found a slow pace as his mouth latched around your nipple suckling on it slowly, gently scraping his teeth along the bud while his thumb circled your clit. 
Your mind grew fuzzy at the edges as your lover submerged you in a puddle of pleasure reminding you of spending all day under the hot sun and coming inside to an air-conditioned room feeling instantly at ease. He moved to your other nipple as you threaded your fingers through his hair whining softly. 
Everything about the plan slowly trickled from your brain and out your ear forgetting that it was your idea to begin with, all you wanted was Toji. 
“Please want you so bad, oh please baby just fuck me already, I need to feel you inside me!” You babbled with a teary gaze looking at your husband who met your gaze with your nipple still in his mouth, he pulled away with a wet pop and licked his lips. 
He squeezed your cheeks gently and chuckled watching your lips squish together. “My needy baby, did you forget about our breakup? You broke my heart so now I’m going to break you.” He growled and spread your legs making you gasp at how quickly he was able to move and have you folded. 
Toji groaned palming himself as he kneeled between your thighs and freed his cock with one hand while the other grabbed your ankle gently lifting it for him, the polish on your toes matched you perfectly and so did he. 
You watched with bated breath as he sucked on your big toe, swirling his tongue around it before moving to each toe kissing each one showing his love to each one before kissing the arch of your foot and putting it on his shoulder. 
“Do you know how much I love you?” Toji asked breaking character for a moment as he stared down at you, his massive body blocked most of the light and from where you lay he looked bigger and more imposing. 
You nodded again. 
Toji leaned in with a chuckle gripping your cheeks again gently. “Good, because I’m going to fuck you like I hate you.” He muttered and pulled away to jerk himself off for a few seconds while you wiggled down the bed to catch the head of his cock on the hood of your cunt. 
Your gazes clashed together as he grabbed your hips dragging you on his cock filling you in one thrust making your toes curl hard in his shirt, the other dangled around his waist as he fucked you hard and fast making the bed creak, the headboard hitting the wall with each powerful drive of his hips. 
With each stroke Toji fanned the fire in your belly, your fingers clawed at his back moaning and whining while lifting your hips to meet his thrusts feeling him go deeper that made you gasp stealing away your breath. 
Sweat beaded along his hairline and dripped down on your bare chest, the heat and friction between you both created an inferno of lust and love for each other as he rocked into you wanting to reach your womb almost. 
Toji bent down to capture your lips in a deep kiss claiming your mouth with his tongue sucking on it before nibbling on your bottom lip and pulling away to rest his forehead against yours feeling his orgasm tingle at the bottom of his spine. 
He pulled away and out of your wet cunt with a squelch before Toji was taking your spot then he pulled you back onto the bed and his lap sliding his hands on the back of your sweat-slicked legs to raise them in the air, his fingers rested on the back of your knees as you reached down to hold his arms. 
With immense strength, Toji lifted you and then sat you back down on his cock, in this position your cunt was tighter making his head swim. “You feel so good, I ain’t ever gonna leave my pretty princess alone, why would I when you’re the perfect little slut for me?” He huffed biting your shoulder gently. 
Your head lolled back as he fucked you from below, his sack patting against you wetly which filled the room along with the heavy perfume of sex, a blend of yours and his musk, something that can never be recreated. 
His cock bullied your puffy cunt that sucked him in deeper coating his shaft in a creamy white feeling your orgasm crash over you hard and fast, your eyes fluttered shut as your mind frayed putting you in a trance-like state, this climax felt a lot different as Toji chased his high until he was pumping you full. 
You both stayed like that for several minutes panting and coming down from your high basking in the soft sex glow. “I love you…thank you, baby, that was everything and more than what I wanted.” You husked looking at him. 
He kissed you gently and pulled away to help you off his lap wincing when he pulled out leaving you empty and the sheets a mess. “I love you too, always and forever.” He told you and stepped into the bathroom to draw a bath. 
“Let’s take a bath, order dinner in and I’ll get you a joint.” Toji knew all the ways to make your day and life easier, but after this whole scene, you felt more connected to him than you ever have with anyone else. 
feedback such as comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, those kind words mean a lot and encourage me to do more writing ♡
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ramp-it-up · 27 days ago
Text
Knock You Down: II
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Summary: James Bucky Barnes is an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. But when he meets you, he finds out that sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down. Bucky has to answer some hard questions on date #2.
This is a follow up to Part I
Word count: 3 K
Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: This fic was in part inspired by Seb Stan's latest pics and this press run 🫠, and partially inspired by an old song by some problematic people, lol. This is the result. As usual, I am Basil Exposition, so this is broken into parts.
Part III will be posted on Sunday, 10/13. I think it will be the final part. 😓
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. Slow burn, cursing, mutual pining, daydreams of: oral sex (f receiving), marking, edging, & overstimulation. High potential for phone sex? Narrowly missed masturbation; a pet name in google translate Romanian; voice kink; drunk messaging/calling; Bucky has you under surveillance; AAAAngst. The heat is ramping up, but still no sex!
I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
———-
Bucky woke with his lips tingling for want of you.
After your first date, sleep had been elusive. His thoughts of you led to a physical condition that he was used to taking care of right away, one way or another.
He decided that only you could solve his problem.
You had him as hard as a rock and Bucky knew that your soft curves were both the culprit and the cure
In his dreams, he had been eating you out, the smell in his nostrils a mix the your natural scent and perfume on your wrist as he went down on you. He couldn’t actually taste you, but he just knew that you were delicious.  
Knowing that he would be distracted all day, Bucky tried other means to work out his frustration. He got up, worked out, and concentrated on not being a simp. 
Unsuccessful.
At the stroke of 8 am Bucky sent you a good morning text and inquiring about your sleep. He hoped that your dreams were as full of him as his were of you.
Bucky chuckled as he pressed send. Good morning texts were not in his repertoire, quite the opposite. He was a pro in dodging follow up texts from his conquests.
After 10 minutes, he put his phone down, because he realized he was staring at it waiting for your response. In the shower, the stream of cold water was meant to calm the lava in his veins at the thought of you still asleep in bed. He needed to stop thinking of waking you up with his head between your legs because then his erection would never go down.
Back in his bedroom, Bucky saw that you had responded. His heart was in his throat at just the notification of not just a text, but an image sent on his screen. He had to sit down.
I had sweet dreams.
Image sent from Y/N
The image was a pic of you in your bed, hair tied back and no makeup. The morning sunlight on your skin was everything and the soft smile on your face looked so kissable.
It appeared that you were wearing a tank top. He could see your neck and the tiniest bit of cleavage, but it was enough to have him raging hard again. 
The highly rational urge to mark you up as a punishment for torturing him came to him like a bolt of lightning.
God, the thought of punishing, maybe edging you all day, or better yet, having you beg him to stop making you cum as he overstimulated you sent his hand to his dick under the towel, but his other hand was reaching for your contact. 
He groaned when he realized what he was doing. One hand had to stop. He wasn’t going to do this.
Bucky unhanded himself and sighed as your phone rang, then his stomach dropped as he realized you probably wouldn’t pick up. 
“Hullo? James?”
Your morning voice. The fantasy of how to wake you up took hold again.
“G-,” Bucky cleared his throat, but it didn’t help much.
“Good morning Frumoasă.”
Damn, his voice. Yeah. You had a voice kink. You felt the urge to ask for a picture of him.
And you knew where that would lead.
The rest of your day depended upon not revealing how much of a slut you were for him already, so you decided to crack a joke.
“Fumosa? What does that mean? You calling me fugly or something?”
Bucky laughed, and the sexual tension was broken. You were so fucking charming. He was definitely feeling you.
Bucky wanted to do so much more than to just be physical with you; he wanted to just be with you.
“Far from it, Y/N. Frumoasă means beautiful in Romanian. Ești foarte frumoasă. You are so beautiful.”
You could hear his smile as he replied.
“Hmmmm. Well. Good morning to you too, James. And thank you.”
Bucky smiled at his bedroom wall, reclining on his unmade bed, not caring that he would be late for work. But he was the boss, so it didn’t really matter. He wanted to hear that moan-hum thing you did again, so he repeated himself.
“Ești foarte frumoasă.” 
You were shook. When Bucky spoke in Romanian, his voice lowered an octave or two. It left you squirming.
You stifled another moan and Bucky shifted, his towel moving again.
This phone call was getting dangerous. 
“James…”
His heart beat double time when you said his name, as if you were asking for so much more than just his attention. One word from you and he would would make you see stars over the phone.
Damn, he was hard as a rock.
“Yes?”
The way his voice broke over that one little word left you speechless, trying to make a wise choice of words. Now was not the time for phone sex, no matter how much you wanted his voice to talk you through it. This man had you caught up, but you were trying to chill.
“See you in a few days.”
Bucky smiled again. You were constantly changing the game, a Queen to his Knight. But he was determined to capture you.
“See you in a few days frumoasă. I can’t wait. Have a great day.”
After that, you two stayed away from phone calls, subsisting on texts and anticipation for the next four days. 
But you couldn’t get away from thoughts of Bucky, especially since Nat showed up at your favorite coffee shop that morning. She claimed that she lived nearby while hinting that Bucky liked you a lot. You just smiled and tried to be enigmatic, not the blushing schoolgirl that you felt inside.
Hungry for more pictures of you, Bucky followed you on Instagram. You didn’t habitually reveal a lot of skin, but what he could see of you made him want more. 
You noticed his follow, (accompanied by several gossip rags) and took note as you blocked them and made your page private. James Barnes gave no fucks who knew about you. You smiled all day long at that knowledge.
On Wednesday, he noticed that you posted girl’s night out, apparently to celebrate your friend Sydney’s engagement.
You looked good, skin glowing, body giving, and those brown leather pants making him dizzy just by staring at them through a screen. He knew he’d be feral if he saw them in person.
Bucky fantasized all evening about you coming home to him that night.
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When Bucky liked the post your heart rate increased and you felt like you were in a race.
“I’m winning!” 
You whooped it up with your friends and ordered another bottle. That’s when you saw Sam out of the corner of your eye. You invited him over for drinks, much to the delight of your friends.
Your drunk text to Bucky when you got home and the following exchange had him grinning as he went to sleep that night. Friday evening would be interesting indeed.
You woke up Thursday morning, wondering why you had a picture of a shirtless Bucky Barnes as the lock screen on your phone.
Your eyes almost fell out of your head as you opened your messages and saw this exchange:
Hey James. I want to fuck your voice. Especially when you speak Romanian. 🫠
But I can’t fuck until date number 3 sooooo
*Voice memo from James
*Voice memo to James
Image sent from James
Thank you Daddy. 💋
You are welcome, Frumoasă. 😏
You threw your phone.
You called him Daddy????
And you told him about the three date rule.
You were out of control.
You immediately sent him another message.
Good Morning, James. I apologize for last night. Please, burn your phone and destroy all messages from me. Have a nice life. 🫣
Good morning, Frumoasă. Last night was harmless fun. 😉 Have a wonderful day. See you tomorrow evening.
You grinned because although you were embarrassed, he was right. And also because he was a chaotic, but harmless gentleman. He just gave you what you asked for and didn’t take advantage of the situation. And his left arm tattoo sleeve was sexy as fuck.
What a man.
——-
When Steve and Sam caught him staring your picture during an auction that morning, Bucky just grinned as his best friends razzed him. He realized that you were worth it as he serenely endured them busting his balls. 
Later that day Sydney sent you some very interesting articles about Bucky Barnes and his business and called to check up on you. Your heart sank as you assured her that you were okay and thanked her for being a friend.
There was a different vibe for you now; James Barnes might not be the perfect guy. But you tried not to overreact.
Everything that was posted online wasn’t necessarily true.
You decided to exercise to clear your head, but lo and behold, when you looked to your left at SoulCycle, there was Steve Rogers, Bucky’s best friend. You managed to dodge a conversation by rushing off to work.
You were looking forward to your date, because James Barnes had a lot of explaining to do.
—----
When Bucky picked you up on Friday, you opened the door and quickly retreated to get your coat and purse as soon as he entered.
“Hello James,” you said from across your living room. 
Buck couldn’t put his finger on what shifted, but something had. He raised his eyebrow at you as you stood out of his reach and he felt the chill in the air.
“Hello, Frumoasă.”
He didn’t hide his admiration at your dress as he bit his bottom lip, positive that he could probably just flip up the hem and slip his… Bucky forced his eyes back to yours.
Damn, he looked good in the brown suit and black crew neck shirt. His eyes were everything on those colors. You noticed him checking you out and you looked down at your mustard dress.
“I hope this is okay. I wore this to work. Got out a little later than I expected. Billie, my assistant, and I were setting up for the opening tomorrow.”
Bucky smiled.
“You look amazing. And I can’t wait to see the exhibit.”
You cleared your throat. 
“About that. Are you sure you want to come?”
Bucky narrowed his eyes at you.
“...Yes. We agreed when I conceded to your price on Monday. What’s going on?”
“Oh, nothing, we’ll talk about it later. Are you ready to go?”
Bucky let you have whatever space you were needing at the moment.
“Lead the way.”
You chose the venue of this second date, a Harlem Renaissance exhibit in the eponymous borough. Bucky remained the perfect gentleman, taking your hand as he helped you into the car, but keeping his distance as you rode uptown.
If it were not for his all consuming stares and the desire in his eyes, you would think he wasn’t attracted to you. But you couldn’t let your libido have you make a terrible decision. You were deep in thought the entire ride to Harlem.
—---
You were in awe of the exhibit as much Bucky was in awe of you. You caught him admiring you instead of the art more than once, but you just smiled and launched into a conversation about the pieces, discussing the merits of the exhibit.
“That’s very astute. So good. Beautiful and smart.”
Bucky’s proximity to you during your banter was not helping your resolve. His voice in your ear cooing praises was making you weak. But you had to be strong. When he took your hand again as you walked to dinner on Frederick Douglass Boulevard, the thousand butterflies which had taken residence in your stomach on Monday afternoon fluttered their wings. 
Damn. He had you down bad.
After you were seated, Bucky tried to break down the wall that you’d seemed to throw up between you.
“Alright, Frumoasă. Tell me. What is going on in that beautiful brain of yours? You’ve been in your head all night.”
You looked around, trying to avoid those perceptive blue eyes of his, and noticed that the rooftop terrace seemed to be deserted except for the two of you. You had been so caught up in your inner turmoil that you hadn’t noticed the surroundings.
“James…”
He was staring at you again, mouth open, and that tongue darting out to lick his lips.
“Yes, Frumoasă…”
“Did.. did you reserve this rooftop just for us?”
Bucky smiled and leaned back, clearly pleased with himself. He took a sip of wine before he answered.
“I may have called in a favor of the owner.”
“It’s Friday night! That is quite the feat.”
“Someone as striking as you deserves to be surrounded by beauty. Always.”
You shook your head at him.
“I’m serious James. I’m not your type. We come from two different worlds. You can have anyone you’d want. What would you want with me?”
Bucky sobered up, sensing your anxiety. He moved his chair closer to yours.
“I never make a promise that I can’t keep. And I don’t string women along. I try to make sure that everyone knows what it is with every encounter. Most women know that what happens is a one time thing.”
He stared at you with the ocean depths that were his eyes.
“And I hope you understand that you are not most women. Remember what I said Monday night?”
You nodded, remembering the rush of feelings and wild thoughts. 
“That was the first of many dates. I haven’t been on a second date in… I honestly don’t know how long.”
You digested what he was saying, really wanting to like him, and more. But you had to clear the elephant from the room.
“Speaking of honesty. What do you really do for a living, James?”
Bucky looked at you strangely.
“What do you mean? I-”
“James. You have one chance to tell me the truth.”
Bucky digested the look on your face; he knew you were serious.
“It seems that you have read some things. Or someone has said something to you.”
You shrugged and said, “Both.”
You were anxious and relieved that he didn’t insist on the lie.
“Okay. Then.”
He sighed and looked at you carefully with those eyes, giving you a minute. After he told you the truth, there would be no going back.
“I’ll give you the cliff notes version: 
When we moved to America when I was 10, my dad Jimmy fell into the family business, which was crime. He always expected me to take it over, training me from a young kid. Steve and I grew up together. Nat and Sam came along later. I dove in deep as soon as I was old enough and brought them with me, thinking that's what I wanted."
Bucky shook his head at his own miscalculation.
"It took five years to realize that it was no way to live. When my father died seven years ago, I could finally see a way out. I started the art business because it really is what I love, and I can divest myself of any connection to illegality be completely legitimate in a little over three more years.”
You sat back and crossed your arms. His explanation was too neat and tidy.
“You have a timeline to be done with crime?”
“I know it’s hard to believe, but yes. I had a ten year and a five year plan. I’m working the plan with the help of my friends. And I’m doing it for them as much as for me. And if I'm thinking about a future with someone...."
Bucky reached over and took your hand as he stared at you.
"I'd be doing it for my own family as well."
You wanted to melt, but remained strong, pulling your hand from his.
“So you’re saying you aren’t a dangerous man? That I won’t be putting my reputation, my employment, and my life on the line by dating you?”
Bucky sat back as you posed your questions. He had never had to consider them before. He had never ‘dated’ anyone before. He just got what he wanted and they were safe because he never saw them again.
But now that what he wanted was you, and for far more than a one night stand, he was terrified.
“Y/N. I told you. I won’t lie to you. Yes. I am still a dangerous man. And yes, being associated with me can be dangerous. But I want you, Frumoasă. And I will stop at nothing to protect you."
You saw the ferocity of his emotions and you thought of all of them these past few days.
“Nat, Sam, and Steve. Those weren’t coincidences. Were they?”
Bucky gave you a wry smile and dropped his gaze. His voice got soft, as if he were chastened.
“No. They weren’t coincidences.”
Suddenly, you felt stifled, that there was no air avaiable. Even though you were outside.
“I- I need to think. I want to go home.”
“Come. I’ll take you.”
You rose and stepped away from Bucky.
“No. I need some space. I‘ll call a rideshare…”
“Nonsense. Nico is outside. He will take you. I can call Steve to pick me up.”
You looked up into Bucky's sad eyes.
“O-Okay.”
You fought the urge to bury yourself in his arms, and in a few minutes, Bucky put you in the car and you were rolling toward Brooklyn before you realized it.
——-
It wasn’t until you were in your tank top and sweats on your couch having made your head hurt with all of the thoughts for an hour, when you realized you never ate dinner and were starving.
You sighed and picked up your phone.
In just about another hour, your favorite takeout was on its way, comfort for a tumultuous evening. When you answered your door, your stomach flipped at the delivery person clad in white t-shirt, grey sweats, and a backwards ball cap.
You smiled at Bucky.
He grinned back.
“So. Is this date number three, orrrrr?…”
You rolled your eyes at him.
“You can drop the food off in my kitchen. This way, James.”
You glanced at him over your shoulder, the heat in your gaze unmistakable.
Bucky smiled and thanked the heavens as he followed the sway of your hips into your home.
——-
Please let me know if you like it! 😊
Next part here.
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wilwheaton · 1 year ago
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When you watch The Curse, you are watching two children who were abused and exploited daily during production. No adults protected us.
This was originally published on my blog in August, 2022.
I had a wonderful time at Steel City Comicon this weekend. It was my first time at this particular con, so I didn’t know there was such a huge contingent of horror fans, creators, and vendors who attend.
I love horror, and I was pretty psyched to be in the same place as John Carpenter and Tom Savini, across the street from the Dawn of the Dead mall. Pittsburgh feels like one of the places horror was invented, at least to me.
A number of these horror fans came to see me, and asked me to sign posters and other things from a movie my parents forced me to do when I was 13, called The Curse. I had to tell each of these people that I would not sign anything associated with that movie, because I was abused and exploited during production. The time I spent on that film remains the most traumatizing time of my life, and though I am a 50 year-old man, just typing this now makes my hands shake with remembered fear of a 13 year-old boy who nobody protected, and the absolute fury the 50 year-old man feels toward the people who hurt him.
I told this story in Still Just A Geek, and I’ve talked about it in some podcasts I did on the promo tour, but I’ve never put it out in public like this, in its entirety.
I suspect someone at the publisher would prefer I tease this and hope it drives book sales from people who want to read all of it, but I honestly don’t want to have another weekend like this one where everything is awesome, except the few times people who have no idea (and why should they) put that fucking poster in front of me, and all the fear, abandonment, and trauma come flooding back as I tell them that I won’t sign it, and why.
To their credit, each person was as horrified as they should have been, told me they had no idea (if they didn’t read my book why would they), and quickly put the poster away. They were all understanding. I am grateful for that.
But I really don’t need to tell this story over and over again, so here it is, with a child abuse and exploitation content warning, so I can just tell people to Google it.
After Stand by Me, everything changed. The attention from entertainment journalists, casting directors, and especially teen magazines came pouring in. The movie was a generational hit, beloved by critics and audiences alike, and every single one of us could pick anything to do next.
River’s parents and his agent got him Mosquito Coast, with Harrison Ford, as his next movie. I also auditioned for the role, but I knew even then that River was going to book the job. He was perfect, and I’d have to wait a little bit for my opportunity to come along.
I went on a lot of theatrical auditions after Stand by Me. I had tons of meetings with directors and the heads of casting at every major studio. It was all a very big deal, and I felt like we were all looking for something really special and amazing as my follow-up to Stand by Me.
At some point, a couple of producers contacted my agent with an offer to play one of the leads in an adaptation of H. P. Lovecraft’s “The Colour Out of Space.” The script was titled The Farm. (It would, of course, be changed when the film was released).
I read it. I did not like it. It was a shitty horror movie, and I saw that right away. It was the sort of thing you rented on Friday when the new release you wanted was already out of the store.
My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.
I told my parents I didn’t like it and didn’t want to do it. I clearly recall thinking it was a piece of shit that would hurt my career.
It wasn’t the first thing that had come our way that I wanted to pass on, and every other time, it hadn’t been a very big deal.
Sidebar: I was cast in Twilight Zone: The Movie, in 1983. The film tells four stories, and I was cast as the kid who can wish people into cartoonland. It was a GREAT role, in a movie I still love. (Note that Twilight Zone had four directors. One of them got three people killed. The segment I was cast in was not that one. I mention this because too many people zero in on this to deflect from what this whole thing is actually about.)
But I was CONVINCED by my parochial school teacher that if I worked on The Twilight Zone, which she had determined was satanic, I would go to hell. (This woman and her bullshit played a big role in my conversion to atheism at a young age, but when she told me that, I was all-in on the supernatural story they taught us in religion class.) I was so scared, more scared than I’d ever been to that point in my life, I cried and wailed and begged my parents to not make me do the movie. And I never told them why, because I was afraid my dad would laugh at me for being weak and afraid. My agent tried to talk me into it, and I wouldn’t budge. It’s the only thing I deeply and truly regret passing on, and I really hate I made that choice for such a stupid reason.
Okay. Back to The Curse.
This time, when I told them how much I hated it, they wouldn’t listen to me. My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.
That is, until they made me take a meeting with the producers of the movie, in their giant conference room on the top floor of a tall building in Hollywood. All I remember about this place was that it was huge; the table was way too big for the five of us who spread around it, and there were floor-to-ceiling windows on three of the walls, but the room was still dark. There was a weird optical illusion in the center of the table, this thing they sold in the Sharper Image catalog, made from two reflective dishes with a hole in the top of one. You placed an object in the bottom of the bottom dish, and it made it look like that object was floating above the whole thing. They had a plastic spider in it. What a strange detail for me to remember, but it’s as clear in my memory as if I were sitting in that room right now.
One man, who I presumed was the executive producer, was European or Middle Eastern (I didn’t know the difference then, he was just Not Like People I Knew), and I was instantly afraid of him. He was intimidating, and seemed like a person who got what he wanted.
So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.
I don’t remember what they said to me in their pitch or anything other than how uncomfortable and anxious I was to even be in that room. I tried so hard to be grown up and mature, but I — and my parents — was way out of my depth. I’d done one big movie and that was it. We didn’t have my agent with us, who had lots of experience and would have known what questions to ask.
No, in place of my experienced agent, my mother had decided she was going to be my manager, and she tackled the responsibility with an enthusiasm that was only matched by her absolute incompetence and inability to go toe-to-toe with producers the way my agent did. She was outwitted, out-thought, and outmaneuvered at every turn.
“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”
So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.
At some point, this man, who is represented in my memory by big Jim Jones sunglasses under dark hair above an open collar, said, “We are offering you a hundred thousand dollars and round-trip travel for your whole family. We will cast your sister, Amy, to play your sister in the movie.”
It all made sense, now. I was only thirteen, but I knew my parents were pushing me so hard because this company was offering me — them, really — more money than I’d ever imagined I’d earn in my life, much less a single job.
I knew that the right thing to do, the smart thing to do, was to say no. There would be other opportunities, and it was stupid to cash myself out of feature films for what I thought was, in the grand scheme of things, not very much money.
It’s incredible to me that I knew all of this. It’s incredible to me that I could see all these things, plainly and clearly, and my parents couldn’t (or, more likely, chose not to).
So after this man made his offer, all the adults in the room ganged up on me, selling me HARD on this movie.
My mother said, “Don’t you want your sister to have the same opportunities you’ve had? Wouldn’t it be fun and exciting to go to Rome? Think of all the history!”
The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.
I don’t think about this very often, because it’s super upsetting to me. Right now, I’m so angry at my parents for subjecting me and my sister to this entire experience. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
In that moment, I felt bullied and trapped. All these adults were talking to me at the same time, and I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to go home and get out of this room. I just wanted to go be a kid, so I did what I’d learned to do to survive: I gave in and did what my parents wanted.
The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.
But here’s the thing: when you watch The Curse, you are watching two children, me and my sister, who were abused on a daily basis. The production did not follow a single labor law. They worked us for twelve hours a day, on multiple film units (while I work on First unit, second unit sets up and waits for me. When I should get a break to rest, they send me to Second unit, then to Third unit, then back to First unit. I was 13.) without any breaks, five days a week. I was exhausted the entire time. I was inappropriately touched by two different adults during production. I knew it was wrong, but I was so scared and ashamed, and I felt so unsupported, I didn’t tell anyone. I knew my dad wouldn’t believe me, and my mother would blame me. Anything to keep the production happy, that’s what she did. That was more important to her than the health and safety of her children. The director was coked out of his mind most of the time, incompetent, and so busy fucking or trying to fuck one of the women in the cast, he was worse than useless. He was a fading actor who was cosplaying as a director, as in over his head as my mother. My sister and I were never safe. Instead of harmless atmospheric SFX smoke, they set hay on fire in barrels and blew actual smoke onto the set. They took buckets of talc, broken wood, bits of wallpaper and plaster, and threw it into my face during a scene inside the collapsing house. My sister is in a scene where she goes to get eggs from some chickens, and they attack her. So they hired Lucio Fulci, the Italian horror master, to direct her sequence. His idea, which everyone was totally on board with, was to throw chickens at my sister. Live chickens, live roosters, live birds. Just throw them at a nine-year-old girl. Oh, and then tie them to her arms and legs so they’ll peck her. All of this happened under my mother’s observation, and with her full participation.
Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.
If just ONE of the things I can remember happened to someone I loved, I would have grabbed my kids, gone to the airport, and flown home. Fuck those abusive assholes in the production. Let the lawyers sort it all out. Nobody hurts my children and gets away with it.
My mom says she “had some talks” with the producers. She claims that, once, she wouldn’t let us leave the hotel. (God, what a fucking dump that place was. It was just slightly better than a hostel.) I have no memory of that, but honestly the entire experience was so traumatic, I’ve blocked most of it out.
The movie was the commercial and critical failure I knew it would be. My parents spent the money. I don’t know what they spent it on. I got to keep fifteen cents of every dollar, so . . . yay?
My sister and I hardly ever talk about this. I suspect it was as upsetting and traumatic for her as it was for me. I told her I was writing about it, and asked her if she remembered anything. She told me she’d been lied to her whole life about this movie. Our mother let her believe she had been cast on the strength of her audition. “I was excited to work with you,” she said. She reminded me about some stuff I’d blocked out, including a scene where my character’s older brother (played by an actor named Malcolm Danare, who was kind and gentle, and made both of us feel safer when he was around) shoves my character into a pile of cow shit. When it came time to shoot the scene, the mud they’d put together to be the cow shit looked an awful lot like cow shit. When Malcolm pushed me into it, we all found out it was real cow shit. I was FURIOUS. The director had lied to me and had allowed me to have my entire body shoved into an actual pile of actual cow shit. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember he treated me the exact same way my father did whenever I got upset: he laughed at me, told me I was being too sensitive, reminded me that he was the director and he wanted to get a “real” performance out of me, and concluded, “If it bothers you so much, we’ll get you a hepatitis shot,” before he walked away.
My sister also recalled that, after she survived the scene with the chickens, it was the producers’ idea to give her one as a pet.
Okay, let’s unpack that for a quick second: you’ve been traumatized by these birds, so we’re going to give you one as a pet. That you’ll somehow keep in your hotel, and then will somehow get back to America. It will shock you to learn that neither of those things happened.
She remembered, as I do, the huge fight I had with my parents in our kitchen, where I told them I hated the script and I hated the movie. I didn’t want to do it, and I hated that they were making me do it.
“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”
“This is the only film you are being offered,” my mother lied to me. She made me feel like, if I didn’t do this movie, I would never do another movie again in my life. I had to do this movie. As my father bellowed, I had no choice.
Both of my parents denied this argument ever happened. Can I tell you how reassuring it is to know that my sister, who was also there, remembers it the same way I do?
The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them.
But one thing she told me, the thing I did not know, the thing that makes me so angry I want to break things, actually managed to make the entire experience even worse than I remembered it.
There’s a scene after her chicken incident where I check up on her in her bedroom. She’s got cuts and bruises, and I guess we talk about it. I don’t remember and I can’t watch the movie because I’m terrified it will give me a PTSD flashback (I’ve had one of those and I recommend avoiding it). Here’s the thing about that scene: she has some cuts on her face, and those cuts are real. They are not makeup.
I’m going to repeat that. My nine-year-old little sister had actual cuts on her face that were placed there by an adult, on purpose.
The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them. My sister told me our mother wasn’t in the makeup room when this happened — honestly, it seemed like our mother was strangely and conveniently absent when most of the really terrible things happened to us on the set — and when my sister told her what they’d done, she “lost her shit” at the production. She was pissed, I guess, which is appropriate and surprising. I wonder what would have to have happened for her to put us on a plane and get us home to safety? I mean, her son being abused daily didn’t do it, and her daughter being CUT IN THE FACE ON PURPOSE didn’t do it.
I just . . . I can’t. I can’t understand or comprehend allowing your own children to be physically and emotionally abused. They were literally selling my sister and me to these people, like we were some kind of commodity.
This was a tough conversation. My sister’s experience with our parents is very different from mine. My sister and I love each other. We’re close. I know it’s hard for her to hear that her brother, who she loves, was so abused by her parents, who she also loves. I was really grateful she made the time to talk to me about it, and grateful the experience wasn’t as horrible for her as it was for me.
As we were finishing our call, Amy also remembered one man, a young Italian named Luka, who was our driver for the movie. I haven’t thought about him in thirty years, but I can see his face now. He was kind, he was friendly, he taught us how to kick a soccer ball, and in the middle of an abusive, torturous experience, he stood out as a kind and gentle man. I mention him because she remembered him, which made me remember him, and goddammit I want at least one small part of this thing to not be awful.
The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares.
Ultimately, as I predicted and feared, this piece of shit movie cashed me out of respectable films forever. I got offers for movies, but they were always mindless comedies or exploitative horror films. They were never the serious dramas I wanted to work in after Stand by Me. The industry looked at me and River, wondering if one or both of us would become a breakout star. They quickly saw that River was doing real acting work, and I was in this piece of shit. For River, Stand by Me was a beginning. For me, it would turn out to be pretty much everything, at least as far as film goes.
There are thousands of reasons film careers do and don’t take off. Maybe mine wouldn’t have taken off anyway. Clearly, it’s not where my life ended up, and I’m super okay with that now. But when all of this happened, it hurt and haunted me.
The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares. Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.
This annotation is the last thing I wrote before I turned this manuscript in, because opening these wounds is hard and painful. I put it off as long as I could, and I feel like I’m still holding back, because just this small glimpse of the experience has taken me a week to write. I can’t imagine trying to go back and unpack the whole thing. (Note that is not in the book: I’ve made an EMDR appointment to work on this because the nightmares have come back after the weekend).
Fuck The Curse, and fuck every single person who exploited and hurt two beautiful children to make it. You all participated in child abuse, and you all knew better. Shame on all of you. I hope this follows you to the end of your life. I hope that living with what you did to innocent children has been as hard for you as it has been for me, because you deserve no less.
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espr3ss0mart1ni · 1 month ago
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don't kill me mr. ghostface! - t. kuroo
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kuroo tetsuro x afab! reader: DEGRADATION, name calling, teasing, choking, and mask kink, timeskip!kuroo ofc, 2.9k words (guys i’m new to this so please let me know if i’m missing anything) WEEK ONE KINKTOBER!!
summary: seeing the ghost face trend suddenly pop up has you buying the mask so your boyfriend can wear it (aka ghost face kuroo was what i desperately needed)
!!MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!! DO NOT INTERACT!!
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Scrolling through social media, seeing girls make their boyfriends put on the ghost face mask during sex. At first you saw it as odd, it wasn’t till you started imagining your boyfriend, Kuroo wearing the mask. Imagining how scrumptious his form would look on with the mask. You couldn’t help but think if Kuroo would even be open to the idea? You weren’t really one to initiate any new sexual endeavors in the bedroom. Kuroo would take all the initiative in the bedroom with your feedback, of course. However, maybe this was just the thing you needed to be more confident in taking initiative. Even if Kuroo didn’t think the idea was hot, you knew he wouldn’t be completely rude in rejecting you. Thinking he’ll just say a quick no and drop the idea. Realizing you had nothing to lose you decide to just go for it. The worst he could say was no and if he did you’ll just keep the receipt for later.
Heading to your nearest Halloween store to look for the specific mask, lighting up when you find it tucked away. Going up to the cash register trying to hide the mask for confidentiality. “Oh, you’re the third girl today who came in here purchasing this mask?”, your palms start sweating as the older lady questions you. “What is it about this mask, it’s a pretty old movie? I guess it’s still pretty popular, huh?”, nodding to her question just trying to get the hell out of the store. “Well, here you go, have a nice night!”, snatching the bag as your face is completely flushed. If everything goes well, you’ll have more than just a nice night. As you get home, you notice Kuroo’s car parked outside. Hiding the bag behind your back as you make your way to the front door, sighing deeply as you unlock the door.
Opening the door to find Kuroo coming down the stairs, elated to see you. “Hey kitten, welcome home! I was wondering where you were? I didn’t have my baby here to give me my welcome kiss.” Kuroo pouts, opening his arms to you. He notices how closed off you are as you make your way to him, giving him a quick peck. “Sorry Tetsu, I went to the store to…pick up something really quick.”, Kuroo raises his brow at you. Aware of his heavy gaze, you start backing up into the stair railing still hiding the bag. Kuroo laughs at your sudden strange behavior, taking a seat on the couch, “Ok whatever you say, sweetheart. What do you want to do for dinner?”. Kuroo looks back at you, seeing you physically in the room but mentally somewhere else. “Kitten? Are you okay?”, Back turned to Kuroo as you feel the cloth of the mask, doubting whether you should ask him now. “Baby?”, Kuroo speaks louder than last time, finally catching your attention. As you turn around he takes in your embarrassed expression, shaky hands, bitten lips, and avoiding eye contact.
Kuroo knew you had a habit of biting your lips when you were scared to ask for something, he suddenly pats the couch. “Come here baby, tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”, hesitantly making your way to Kuroo. You knew he would never judge you but what you’re asking for isn’t really normal. Deciding to throw all your insecure thoughts away, you straddle Kuroo’s lap. Taken by surprise you see him grin, feeling him start to place featherlight kisses on your neck, “What’s up kitten, you can tell me.” All of your thoughts slipped from your mind as you focused on Kuroo’s kisses and how ticklish they felt. “Well Tetsu, I actually wanted to ask you something.”, you feel yourself squirm against him as he nips your neck. He laughs against you, continuing to suck on your neck, “I saw this thing on Tiktok and these girls would,”, you pause, tripping over your words. Biting your lip, feeling an insatiable urge that only Kuroo could fill. “What would these girls do baby, huh? Use your words for me, kitten.” Kuroo lifts his gaze off your neck onto meeting your eyes.
“They would ask their boyfriends to put on a mask and then chase them around.”, you cut yourself off. Hesitant to finish the sentence vulgarly but deciding to push yourself. Kuroo grabs your chin with his hand forcing you to look into his eyes while lifting his eyebrows, “You want me to chase you kitten? Well what’s my prize when I catch you, huh?”. Resisting the urge to look away, you give him what he wants, “When you catch me...”. Leaning down to whisper in his ear, “I want you to fuck me with the mask on Tetsu.”. Kuroo lets out a breathy groan, “Who would’ve guessed my sweet girl had such a fucking filthy mouth.”. He pauses taking your lustful appearance in. “Well-” he pulls you in by your chin, centimeters away from your lips. “What my baby wants, she gets. Give me the mask, kitten.”
As you hand Kuroo the mask you bought earlier he snickers to himself, “Ghost face does it for you baby?”. He grabs you by your waist, pulling you in as your tongues meet in a harmonious symphony, he pulls away breathlessly. “Turn off the lights upstairs and hide for me, baby. You know I love a good challenge.” He turned off the lights downstairs and you felt a sneaking feeling behind you but not daring to look back, it wasn’t till you turned off the upstairs light that you suddenly felt your stomach drop. Shit, you couldn’t see anything, only hearing Kuroo’s footsteps coming up the stairs slowly, quietly. You’ve never heard Kuroo be so quiet before, it was making you shake with excitement that he’s playing the part so well. Hiding in your shared closet making sure to close the door very quietly, hearing footsteps creeping across the hall. Placing your hand across your face to stop from suddenly laughing, realizing how silly this all was. Your loving boyfriend, who couldn’t hurt a fly, was playing psycho killer because you asked him to.
Kuroo creeps into your room, truth be told he could hear you in the closet giggling but wanted to up the antics. He slams the door to your bedroom knowing you would jump in anticipation, taking a couple of seconds to open the closet door. “Naughty girl, I said I wanted a challenge.”, opening your mouth to refute his opinion. Kuroo grabs you roughly, picking you up from the floor, turning you around to push you onto the bed. Slowly taking off his shirt, keeping the mask on to give you a show. You keep eye contact with him as he starts undressing, you start following his lead but Kuroo stops you. Leaning down really close to your ear, “I never said you could start stripping, did I kitten?”. You freeze, suddenly feeling very frustrated by how much clothes you have on. “Don’t make me punish you because your urges are making you stupid baby. We wouldn’t want that now, would we kitten?” You reach out wanting to feel him, kiss him, do something, anything but Kuroo once again stops you, binding your hands with one of his.
“I guess my baby needs to learn some manners, first denying me of a challenge and now not listening. Already acting dumb and I haven’t even fucked you yet.” Kuroo grabs his shirt, tying your hands together. “Now if you don’t mind baby,” he lifts off the mask showing his flushed face and messy hair, “I’m here to claim my prize.”. He starts leaning into your neck, kissing the now lingering red marks. He hears your breathing pick up as he starts searching for that spot on your neck that you love, oh so much. Kuroo hears his name fall from your lips sensually, sucking on the spot harder. “Tetsu, please baby. I’ll be good, I’ll do anything for it.”, you look down at him with the sweetest eyes you could muster. Kuroo lifts up your shirt only to be met with your perked up nipples. Groaning, feeling himself get harder at the sight of you tied up and begging for him, what a good girl. He latches his mouth onto your nipple, hearing your breathing shutter. “Stop teasing Tetsu.”, Kuroo stops pulling away, taking in the sight of you. “You never listen, do you baby?”
Kuroo starts littering kisses down from your neck all the way down to your stomach, stopping at the spot where you need him the most. Slipping off your bottoms but leaving your panties on. “You’re such a naughty kitten, squirming, aching, and begging for me to do anything. Well, the more you beg, the less I want to give it to you.”, he places a soft kiss to your clothed cunt before getting back up on his knees, flipping your body over onto your stomach. “Since you like to use your mouth so much, you won’t mind counting for me baby.”, he places your stomach on his knee. Curiously looking back, just to feel a hard smack on your ass, moaning. Kuroo looks at you, grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks together, condescendingly. “Cat got your tongue baby? I said to fucking count.”, he continues smacking until he sees his handprint imprinted on your ass. Chuckling lowly as he sees you look back, pupils blown out and mind a muck. He yanks you up to gently kiss your red cheek, giving it one more smack. Turning you around, as he pulls you into a heated kiss, lips clashing together while your tongues battle in your mouth for dominance.
Pulling back you look to see a string of saliva connected between you and Kuroo, lustfully staring at him. “Kitten, you look so fucking hot right now. Do you think you’re ready for me baby?”, you nod desperately willing to take anything Kuroo was willing to give to you. Kuroo looks down on you, noticing how cute you look breathlessly begging, he runs a finger over your clothed slit. “See, the thing is kitten. I don't think you want it bad enough.”, Kuroo see’s your eyes widen, chuckling at how desperate you look while nefariously putting on a faux pout. “No please Tetsu, I really want it. Please, I want your cock so bad, It’s all I can think about.”, Kuroo mockingly puts a finger on his chin, thinking to himself. “I think you have to prove to me how badly you want it kitten. I think you’ll prove it by taking my cock in this bratty mouth of yours, yes?”. You nod eagerly wanting any part of Kuroo in you, dragging you towards him helping you get on all fours. “Ok baby, tap on my thigh if it gets too much for you.”, you look up at Kuroo as he strokes himself feeling so overcome with your urges, feeling nothing but want. “Tell me yes baby.”, you verbalize it for him. Kuroo smiles, putting his finger on your lips, watching you take in his finger so sinfully, “Such a dirty girl, baby. Have you been hiding from me that you’re secretly a slut?”.
Sucking on Kuroo’s finger feeling yourself becoming wetter by the minute, pulling back from Kuroo. “Tetsu please I need your cock badly, I want it so much, I want to please you.”. Kuroo groans, throwing his head back, “Even though you’re such a brat giving me all these demands, I’ll give you what you want baby.”. He pushes the tip past your lips, watching you lose yourself on the way his cock lays on your tongue. “Baby, you take me so well. You want me to fuck you that badly that you’re willing to choke on my cock.”, Kuroo feels you moan around his cock. Moaning as you gag on his thick length, looking up at him to see him biting his lip. “Princess, your mouth is heavenly. I might finish too quickly, shit.”, he grabs your hair making it into a makeshift ponytail. Yanking you slowly up and down, feeling you take it just like his good girl should. He slowly picks up your head off his cock, feeling empty of him but not wanting to pester him any further.
Kuroo grabs the headboard behind you picking up the mask he threw behind you. You feel yourself pause, eye-fucking the man in front of you. “I love you so much Tetsu, give me everything please.”. Kuroo kisses your cheek, coming in close. Whispering very lowly in your ear, “I love you too, kitten but I’m about to fucking ruin you.”. He smirks as he puts on the mask, committing to the character. Ripping your panties off, “Kuroo! Really! You’re going to buy me a new pair.”. Instead of commenting back he stops, saying nothing as you feel on edge waiting for him to do something. He pulls away, wrapping his hand around your neck and your breath gets taken away. Feeling aroused by a boundary you’ve never crossed before with Kuroo.
You try to see Kuroo’s eyes through the cloth but fail, nodding your head. Kuroo grinds the tip of his cock through your folds feeling how wet you are. Moaning at the instant sensation of his hard cock, feeling waves but falling short of feeling the real thing. He leans down by your ear, “You really do never learn baby, first I shut you up with my cock and it still wasn’t enough.”. Breathing heavily and eyes fluttering shut, “Too bad I have to choke you just to get you to stop talking back like the little whore you are, huh?”. Your eyes flutter shut, overwhelmed by his voice in your ear and his hard cock easing against you. Kuroo slips the tip in slowly teasing his cock in you halfway, feeling your breath rise against his hand. “Yes, yes please Tetsu!”
Smirking under the mask, while groaning as he feels you clench against him. Giving you the feeling only to pull out, leaving you feeling empty. Biting your lip because you so badly want to respond to him teasing you but know it’ll only worsen the problem. You put your tied hands up to your face, embarrassed as you feel yourself only getting more aroused. Squeezing your eyes shut only to feel liquid trickling down your cheeks. “No way kitten, show me your face. I want to see your expression as I fuck you.”, Kuroo pulls your hands away seeing you cry in desperation. “Fuck Kitten, I was going to prolong the teasing but seeing you cry over my cock, I need you now.”
Leaning back and grabbing your feet to place them on his shoulders ready to give you what you’ve so desperately been craving. Sliding in as Kuroo bites his lip, only for a small groan to escape. Whimpering as you feel Kuroo slowly slipping in as you clamp down on him. “Fuck Kuroo, so fucking hot with that mask on.”, grazing his chest with your tied hands. Bottoming out feeling his skin smack against yours, moaning at his cock filling up every crevice of your insides. “Tetsu, right there!”, Kuroo pulls back out and goes in steadily. Hitting your cervix, again and again, eyes rolling back erotically. Pleasure coursing through your stomach, brain feeling fuzzy, and lost in your own pleasure that you don’t even hear Kuroo. “Kuroo! Fuck baby! So good! So good Tetsu!”
The coil in your stomach tightening, Kuroo repeatedly pushes in and out only to stop as you’re right at the edge. Still staying inside you as he starts circling around your clit. Your back arches off the bed, he pushes down on your lower stomach starting to rapidly rub your clit. “Argh! Tetsu! Baby! My brain feels fuzzy! Fuck! Oh my god!”, you feel your brain go completely blank. Stuffed, fucked, and overstimulated beyond your belief, only seeing an outline of Kuroo’s body. Reaching up to touch all around Kuroo, wanting so badly to kiss him as you teeter on the edge of cumming. Kuroo leans down, panting quietly, he knows you're close due to your expression and your tight cunt. Growling, “Cum Kitten, cum all over my cock like the good girl you are.”
Vision goes hazy and white, as the coil in your stomach snaps and you feel cum falling out where you and Kuroo are connected. Euphoria hitting you as you come down from your high that was cumming on Kuroo’s cock. Opening your eyes to see Kuroo above you with the mask still on. He unties your hands, you rub them a bit before taking the mask off him. Seeing Kuroo’s lip bleeding a bit from how hard he was trying to hold back his moans. Also thinking how hot he looked with deflated sweaty hair, bitten lips, and post haze orgasm. Bringing him to your lips, tasting just a hint of copper but not caring. “Don’t hold back your moans next time Tetsu.”, Kuroo’s eyebrows raise. “There’s going to be a next time, huh?”, going to get a towel to clean you up. Smirking, “What about next time I ride you while you wear the mask?”
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divider credits go to @/anitalenia, @/kaitsawamura, @/aquazero and @/thecutestgrotto
shot of espresso ☕️ : this is my first time posting and writing smut lmk what you think!
@espr3ss0mart1ni on tumblr. All Rights Reserved. Do not steal, copy, or translate any of my works.
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kanekisfavoritegf · 4 months ago
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PERFECT LOVER: The Life of Nanami Kento the 35 Year Old Virgin
MINORS & BLANK BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT YOU WILL GET BLOCKED
SYNOPSIS: Kento Nanami, a 35-year-old introvert with a tendency to avoid social interactions, has made a conscious decision to steer clear of romantic entanglements. However, everything changes when he meets a new colleague at his birthday party, (Satoru's Idea). From the moment they meet, he is mesmerized, finding himself increasingly unable to resist her magnetic presence. Like taking a bite of forbidden fruit, he becomes ensnared by the allure, delving into a realm of infatuation and finding himself unable to break free. As he delves deeper into this newfound connection, Nanami begins to realize that he craves more than just a fleeting experience and yearns for more than just a fleeting taste of what she embodies.
Table of Contents
WORD COUNT: 1.8K
Part 2 1/2 was added to the beginning! So if you have already read it, skip to where it says “TWO DAYS LATER.”
CHAPTER THREE:
The drive from Kento’s apartment was short enough to make you consider walking next time. If there was ever another situation in which you’d be leaving Kento’s apartment in the morning.
“And where the hell have you been?” You practically jumped out of your skin at the sound of Yuki’s voice. You turned around to meet her smug face from across the hall, smirking like she knew something you didn’t.
“Such a warm welcome from my favorite neighbor,” You quipped, unlocking your door.
“You were at Kenny’s, right?” 
“Kenny? Who i– Oh! Kento. Yeah.”
Yuki followed in after you, her eyes lingering on the clothes you threw into the washer. It was only then that she realized you were wearing her university’s graphic tee. This might have been an ordinary occurrence any other day, but not when you spent the night at her old university friend and coworker’s house, especially not Nanami’s.
“You didn’t sleep with him, right?”
“No, of course not.”
“Good.” Yuki sighed.
“Good? Is he dating someone?” You felt your breath hold as you wondered aloud, only releasing it once answered.
“No, he doesn’t date.”
“Like at all?”
“Nope.”
“Is there a reason?” 
“It's not my story to tell.” Yuki shook her head. “He is touchy about the subject.”
You only nodded.
“Not even casual hookups?”
“Hey! No.” You would have been offended at the harshness of Yuki’s voice if her expression of horror had not been so amusing, “He is off limits.”
“What do you mean?”
“He is the lonely virgin; one hookup with you, and you will ruin him.” It was a little surprising to hear Kento was still a virgin, but not because of his age, but his demeanour. The way he carried himself. Indeed, he must have had someone he wanted to be with that intimately; surely someone would want him so intimately, but then again, you only knew him for a few hours; who knows what he is actually like.
“You make it seem like I am some succubus.”
“You might as well be Y/N.”You only rolled your eyes at her. “Listen to me, Y/N,” Yuki’s hands cupped your face like a child needing grave warning. “You can not deflower poor Kento.”
“He isn’t a child.”
“I know, but–” Yuki lost the words on her tongue, knowing no explanation would do it justice. “Just don’t. He isn’t Satoru or Suguru. He is a decent man, and if you slept with him, hell, if you kissed him, it would lead to places I don’t think you’d want to go to.”
“You hummed a sound of agreement and went to your bedroom to change. Thoughts of Kento are still in your mind; the more Yuki speaks about him, the more you want to pull back each layer of him to see what exactly makes him the way he is. 
Yuki’s words still echoed in your head as you showered “hell if you kissed him, it would lead to places I don’t think you’d want to go to.” But it was already too late. Kento Nanami was undeniably curious about you, just as much as you to him.
TWO DAYS LATER
“Hello, Mr. Nanami! If I read my email correctly, you are supposed to be showing me around today.” 
This was the first time Nanami had been caught off guard. For some reason, you stood in front of him in business attire, a skirt cut just above the knee, black stockings and a white dress shirt hidden beneath a black cardigan.
 He stared down at you as you stood before him, a nervous smile painted on your face as he did so. His expression was even more blank than he had given you three days ago. It almost seemed like he was angry, but the more he stared at you quietly, you couldn’t help but feel as though he may have just forgotten you. And the very idea of Nanami forgetting you made you slightly (very much so) annoyed. 
Was kissing strangers after housing them in his very nice, very clean apartment a common occurrence for him? Was walking around in shirts too tight around women clearly captivated by him an everyday experience for him???
Okay, you understood it wasn’t technically a kiss to be written in the history books and that it was you who kissed him. But that didn’t take away the feeling of aggravation snaking its way up your spine.
“I’m Y/N.” You stated.
“I know.” Was all he said in return, turning to his desk and logging into the company computer, leaving you standing there awkwardly as he faced his display screen.
You peered over his shoulder, letting a few braids dip down and lay across his chest as you watched him. 
Nanami only let out a shaky breath as you did so, doing his best to ignore the heat that came off of your body as you pressed into him from behind. It didn’t help that you smelled like vanilla and chocolate; whatever perfume you wore was slowly snaking its way around his neck and choking him.
Choosing not to acknowledge your closeness, he focused on your name, typing it in slowly as he waited for an email mentioning you. When it failed, he then searched the word intern, and sure enough, it popped up. In his spam, a place where all emails specifically from Satoru Gojo were sent.
NANAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, I need a huge favor: babysit the new hires and show them around the office. I missed the flight yesterday, so I’ll be back next week.
Thanks!! 
Satoru.
“How does one miss a flight and choose to return in a week, not the next day?” You asked, a small giggle escaping you. Kento only shook his head, huffing slightly, before turning back around to face you.
“I’m Kento Nanami.”
“I knew that.” You replied shortly, and if Kento could kick himself in the knee, he would ten times over.
“Yes.” 
“Yes?”
“Yes,” he repeated bluntly. Stay here one moment. When I return, I will give you a tour of this department. I shouldn’t be over ten minutes.”
Before you could even respond, he had vanished, disappearing down a corridor and around a corner, leaving you standing there, slightly bewildered.
Kento silently cursed himself in the supply closet. 
He was hiding.
 In a closet.
 Kento Nanami, the 35-year-old virgin, was hiding in a closet because a pretty woman smelled nice. It didn’t help that you had said his name the way you did. 
Smooth and slow and utterly… normal. Kento knew he couldn’t blame all his perverted problems on the object of his desire, no matter how much he wished to.
He sighed heavily, knocking his head into the door in front of him before opening it and emerging once again into reality. 
All he needed to do was keep himself calm and composed, not let his eyes drift to your lips, preferably avoid all eye contact, and not mention last weekend under any circumstances.
When he approached his desk again, you weren’t alone. Suguru stood over you as you leaned against his desk for support.
“Oh, it’s Mr. Nanami!” You pointed out, bringing Suguru’s attention to Kento as he approached you.
“Mr. Nanami?” Suguru smirked at you with a tilted head. 
“Should I not call him that?” You panicked for all of 3 seconds before Nanami cut in.
“No, no. It is fine.” Letting out a shuddered breath, “Call me whatever you want.” A weak smile went with his words as he twisted to meet the other man.
“Don’t you have a meeting to be in? Where is Yuki?”
“She is already in there stalling. I thought I’d welcome the new hire once again since Satoru has decided to skip his duties. Geto shook his head at the thought of Satoru sipping on mimosas and eating fresh fruit instead of doing his job, his very well-paying job.
“Well, I don’t want to keep you anymore. We can grab lunch or something later!” You suggested before sliding your way to the blonde man. “And you.” Nanami held his breath as you pointed his way, “You owe me a tour.”
“That I do.” Kento said, throwing a tight smile at Geto, trying to mask the ridiculous feeling of jealousy that began blooming in his chest. All Geto gave back was a knowing smile, a smile that you and Kento alike mistook for one given to yourselves, adding to the tension in the room.
***
Walking through the office was probably one of the most awkward experiences of your life.
Whenever you tried to open a conversation, Kento quickly shut it down or stirred it toward work. 
This would have been fine had he looked you in the eye at least once as he showed off every inch of the new environment.
“This is our break/rest room. A couch, blankets, pillows and noise-canceling earphones are stored away for when you need to sleep.”
“Ooo, that sounds amazing.” You peered inside since no one was currently rested. 
“Yup. All you need to do is flip the card to the red side, lock the door, and then, for at least forty minutes, peace is yours.”
“We pull many all-nighters here as the marketing team; with such a small group, taking forty minutes to one-hour breaks is pretty common.”
“Do you often sleep here?”
“No,” was all he said as he glanced over you, making his way to the kitchen, assuming you’d be following behind him promptly.
With each passing second, your patience wore thinner, and you couldn’t help but huff in annoyance.
As you stood in the final room of the floor, Nanami continued to drone on about the new kettle and fridge space, practically facing the wall opposite you.
“What is your problem?” You snapped at him.
“Excuse me?”
“Why aren’t you looking at me.”
“I am looking at you.”
“I am not talking about now; I am talking about this whole tour, or better yet since I approached you this morning.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You won’t look at me.”
“Y/N–” Kento started.
“You can call me Miss L/N,” You corrected, “I was nervous at the idea of starting a new job in a higher position than before, especially with all of you guys, who already know each other so well, so to be shown around by someone I “knew” it gave me a little bit of comfort. But if this is a problem for Mr. Nanami, then I can wait for Sugu- Mr. Geto, or Yuki to show me around after their meeting. “
“No.”
“No?” You repeated back at him.
“I am sorry.”
“Okay???”
“I struggle talking with women.”
“And looking them in the eye?” 
“Yes. To women I am attracted to, I struggle.” He now faced you fully, the tips of his ears burned bright red. You would have found this cute, had it not been utterly shocking.
Oh.
“It is ridiculous, I know, but I am trying to get it under control, so don’t worry about me. I am sorry if I have made you uncomfortable in any way.” And before you could respond, Nanami was back at his desk. Leaving you gobsmacked in the middle of the office Kitchen.
“Oh.” You whispered to no one, hand reaching out and touching your lips.
Preview...
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"CHAPTER FOUR" UPLOADED
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luna-azzurra · 1 month ago
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Hii I love your blog sm ur an angel 🩷. Could you please do like a list or something with examples of nicknames for friends?
I write fanfics in english but it's not my first language so it's a bit difficult for me, thanks 🩷
Heyyy, I'm glad that my blog helps you! 🩷 I’ve written down a bunch of my favorite nicknames, along with what they mean and the vibes they give off. 
Adorable & Affectionate Nicknames
Sweetie: Simple and cute, it’s like the classic nickname when one friend is always comforting the other.
Pumpkin: It’s got that old-fashioned, “you’re my little ball of sunshine” vibe.
Honeybun: Ultimate cozy nickname. You’d call someone this if they’re the nurturing, always-got-your-back kind of friend.
Snugglebug: It’s for the friend who’s all about giving hugs or being there when you need emotional support.
Cupcake: You know that friend who just makes you smile? That’s your cupcake.
Button: This one’s cute for a friend who’s small or just makes you go “aww” all the time.
Playful & Silly Nicknames
Spud: A potato, but in the best way. Perfect for that lazy but lovable friend.
Bean: It’s random but super cute, especially for a friend who’s quirky and fun.
Squishy: For the friend who’s soft, either physically or emotionally, and just huggable.
Giggles: You know that friend who’s always laughing at literally everything? Yeah, this is for them.
Waffles: No reason. Just waffles. It’s silly, weird, and perfect for a random nickname.
Pipsqueak: For the friend who’s short but feisty, like they’re small but will 100% fight you.
Personality-Based Nicknames
Ace: For the friend who’s always on top of their game, whether it’s in school, sports, or life in general.
Firecracker: You’ve got that one friend who’s all energy and attitude? Yep, this one’s for them.
Tiger: Strong, fierce, and maybe a little protective, this is for a friend who’s bold and confident.
Champ: For the friend who’s always winning at life, no matter what they do.
Professor: You know that super smart friend who’s always dropping random knowledge? This one’s for them.
Rocket: This is for the friend who’s always moving a mile a minute, constantly going somewhere or doing something.
Sparky: For the friend who’s got a quick wit or just a lot of energy. It’s short, fun, and full of personality.
Scout: For that adventurous friend who’s always trying new things or planning cool trips.
Nature-Inspired Nicknames
Rosebud: Cute and delicate, perfect for a friend who’s sweet or still growing into themselves.
Buttercup: It’s soft and nurturing, like the friend who’s always there when you need a shoulder to cry on.
Bluebell: Dreamy and whimsical, like someone who’s got their head in the clouds in a totally charming way.
Clover: Lucky charm vibes. This could be for someone who just brings good things into your life.
Lilac: Soft, calming, and just pretty. It’s for someone who makes everything feel more peaceful.
Maple: This gives cozy autumn vibes. It’s for a friend who feels like home or just brings warmth wherever they go.
Food-Inspired Nicknames
Peach: For someone who’s sweet and sunny. It’s a soft, affectionate name for a friend who just makes everything better.
Cookie: Comforting, dependable, and someone who’s always there when you need them. Total softie vibes.
Marshmallow: Soft, squishy, and maybe a little sensitive, but in a totally lovable way.
Gummy Bear: Cute, bouncy energy.
Dumpling: Another soft, squishy one. It’s perfect for a friend who’s a bit quiet but full of warmth.
If you need even more, I’m happy to help! 😊
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vettelsvee · 18 days ago
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GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET | Sebastian Vettel ✩₊˚.⋆ PART 5: I'LL NEVER LEAVE... NEVER MIND [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]
goodbyes are bittersweet masterlist | wattpad f1 masterlist | ao3 | ask anything or let's talk!
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ferrari sebastian vettel x ex gf!female reader
word count: 4437
summary: after not seeing each other in almost five years, seb and y/n finally meet with just one purpose for her: telling seb they have a 4 year old daughter. will y/n be able to tell him?
warnings: mentions of sex. i think nothing else but i literally cried while writing this. i recommend that you listen to loml by taylor swift while reading this hehe
taglist: [ @saltycomicsanimalssalad @hc-dutch @mycenterfold @simplyamberj @spitesfvl-blog @jaydaaasworld @lottalove4evelyn @zoeyjadetice2010 @jehun @ferralari @cosmoscoffeee @mcmuppet @myescapefromthislife @sleutherclaw @youre-on-your-ownkid ]
a/n: i'm finally back! sorry you had to wait this long to get a new chapter but writers block had me going like crazy, as well as my mental health in general. i had something else planned for today BUT be aware of what I'm posting tomorrow since you might like it! christmas is coming soon and i have a surprise ready for you. let me remind you that feedback and reposts are truly appreciated. and also comment me your thoughts and theories on the story pls! missed you so much guys, thank you for everything, love you all <3
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© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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May 15th Heppenheim, Germany
“Y/N, remember that you need to be careful with what you say to Seb. I know you want to tell him about Emily, but also consider whether today is the right time. Imagine if…”
You stop listening to Hanna the moment her lips utter your daughter’s name. Instead, your mind started creating a thousand different scenarios about what could happen when you saw your ex-boyfriend today. Your gaze remained fixed on the mirror in your room.
You only returned home five days ago, but it felt like an eternity.
You knew perfectly well why, or rather, you knew perfectly well who was to blame for your distorted sense of time: Sebastian Vettel, of course.
The trip to London felt like a fresh start. While the main reason to go was your meeting with Capital Records to discuss what your near future might hold, you considered it as an opportunity to rethink what you wanted to do with your life from now on. 
You had just turned 30, and the only thing you longed for was to start this new decade with a clean slate in every possible way. That, of course, included facing your past mistakes and recognizing your faults, one of which you might be about to commit today.
Hanna acted as some sort of mediator between you and Seb because, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t bring yourself to send him even the simplest of messages. The driver seemed to understand, as he told Hanna not to worry, that he understood, and that all you needed to do was show up without standing him up. 
Despite having agreed to meet at your house, you decided to dress up a little to present yourself in the best way possible. After spending far more time than you’d like to admit choosing what to wear, you settled on a light blue knee-length dress and white Converse sneakers, with a bracelet your daughter made (or better said your mother made, just Emily took credit for).
"Y/N, are you even listening to me?"
The reflection of your best friend in the mirror startled you. You turned towards her, trying to maintain the calm you’ve lacked since returning from London. Exactly five days that have felt like five years.
Like the five years since you last saw Seb.
"Hey, cat got your tongue or what?" insisted the blonde. "Seriously, Y/N, I want you to be speechless, but preferably when you and Seb take the conversation from the couch to the bed and he makes you scream his name again just like he used to do when..."
"Hanna, for God's sake, shut up! Seb and I are only going to talk about..."
"I know, I know, I was just trying to make you laugh. You know I like to..." 
Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
If you were restless before, pacing back and forth in your room, checking that there was no trace of Emily in the house for Seb to find, now you were frozen like a statue.
You looked at Hanna, and she looked back at you. You shrugged, but Hanna just put her exaggeratedly unfriendly faces.
"Hanna, no..."
"It's Seb, Y/N! It's just Seb, for heaven's sake," she interrupted, and you cut her off just as fast.
"It's the Seb I haven't seen in five years!" you stammered, feeling the anxiety taking over. "Seriously, Hanna, this was a very, very bad idea. I don’t even know why I asked you to tell him to come and..."
"Because he's the father of your daughter, and your only goal is to tell him!" she yelled, trying not to raise her voice too much but failing miserably. You hoped to God Vettel didn’t hear that.
"Hanna..."
"Since I know you're not going to open the door, I'll do it myself. Stay here or come down, do whatever you want, but I'll tell Seb to come find you because clearly, you can't handle welcoming your guest," she declared.
Without saying anything else, she strided out of your room. You could only follow her, practically tripping down the stairs, legs trembling like a teenager on her first date. Your pulse was pounding in your temples, while your mind kept screaming at your body to calm down.
As soon as you stepped onto the ground floor, you saw Hanna opening the door. Her cheerful voice broke the silence, asking Seb how he was and, to your surprise, inviting him in.
You inched closer, not quite enough for them to notice you. Then you stopped, inspecting Seb from head to toe, as if you didn't already know every inch of his body by heart. Even though you were used to seeing him on TV and social media daily, it felt like you haven’t seen him in all this time you’ve been out of touch. He was wearing a slightly worn-out white t-shirt and jeans. His hair was perfectly trimmed, though a bit longer on top, and his beard, probably several days old, was what caught your attention the most, looking just the way you liked it.
But what really captivated you was the bouquet of yellow tulips he was holding, just like he used to bring you for dates or whenever it was a special day for either of you back when you were dating.
You swallowed hard, guilt washing over you as you thought, for a fleeting moment, about him handing you a flower bouquet before you told him you were having his baby.
"Hi..."
You thought your whisper was too soft to be heard, but it was quite the opposite.
Both Seb and Hanna turned to look at each other, then focused on you, still standing in the entryway. Your best friend tensed up slightly, but you tried to reassure her with a slight movement of your hands. The expression on your ex-boyfriend’s face seemed to light up at your small intervention, even if it was minimal.
“Well, Seb, I'll leave you with Y/N. I have a few errands to run…” Your friend tried to excuse herself, though both of you knew it wasn’t true. “See you later for a drink guys!
She winked and quickly slipped out, shutting the door behind her before either of you could even say goodbye.
Now, it was just the two of you, alone.
Seb looked at you again, and you couldn’t help it but get lost in the blue of his eyes. The situation felt strange. You used to cherish every moment of being alone together, but now you didn’t even know how to say a simple "hello." 
You once trusted him completely, and now you were unsure whether to offer him a drink or tell him that you have a four-year-old daughter.
“Hi, sunshine,” he said, breaking the silence.
“Hi, Seb.”
He took a step towards you, slowly moving closer. You noticed how his gaze shifted from the flowers to your eyes, as if he was searching for some kind of answer from you. His eyes reflected a mixture of nervousness and tenderness, stirring a whirlwind of emotions inside you. 
He didn’t have to say it, you could see it in his eyes. He was afraid of how you’d react to this gesture, this little detail that used to drive you crazy, but now… you didn’t know how to feel about it.
You, on the other hand, were utterly stunned. 
How, after all this time and how cold you ended things, could he still do this? How could he still remember?
“These... are for you,” he finally said, his voice low and shaky. He handed you the bouquet, his hands trembling.
You met his gaze, and the way he looked at you was filled with fear, insecurity, and maybe, just maybe, a bit of tenderness. He didn’t need to say it out loud because you knew him too well. He was afraid of how you’d react to this gesture.
“Thank you,” you managed to say, taking your time to smell the flowers.
You couldn’t hold it in. Tears began to blur your vision, and a wave of embarrassment washed over you.
He noticed. Even though you didn’t want to, even though you didn’t feel capable of getting close enough to give him a kiss on the cheek or maybe even a hug, Seb did it anyway.
“It's okay, Y/N,” he whispered. “It’s okay...”
But it wasn’t okay… it was far from okay.
Sebastian Vettel was here, once again, standing in front of you, and possibly back in your life. The boy you once considered your best friend, the best friend you fell in love with, the driver you always supported, and most importantly, the father of your child, was back in your life in such an unexpected way that it still felt surreal.
“I don’t know...” you tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. “It feels surreal that after everything, after such an empty goodbye, here we are, together again,” you confessed. “It’s weird seeing you in front of me in the flesh and not as pixels on a screen.”
“Y/N…”
“I’ve missed you, Seb. So much.”
You knew your honesty didn’t catch him by surprise, because he felt the same way. That’s what hurt the most.
“I missed you too, Y/N. I really did...” he said after a moment, wrapping his arms around you, and you pressed your face against his chest.
“Seb…”
“Don’t overthink it, really,” he interrupted gently. “I’m not here to talk about the past or blame anyone,” he paused, letting out a breath before continuing. “I just want us to go back to who we were before we were together. But, if I’m being honest, we’ve been in love with each other for so long that I can’t remember a time when you weren’t my everything.”
Your lips trembled. The weight of his words was too much for you to handle, at least today, in a first encounter where you haven’t even spent ten minutes together.
You felt awful. You felt shattered inside knowing that if you were in this situation, it was because of you.
“Well, Y/N, tell me…”
“No, no,” you quickly interrupted, grabbing his arm and guiding him to sit on the couch. Immediately after, you rushed to the kitchen to grab the drinks and snacks you spent all morning preparing. “You tell me first. Even though I’ve seen you on TV, I know you’re very private about your life, you know... You never share anything with the media, and well, you don’t even have social media so… How are you?”
He let out a short laugh as he picked up a bottle of water and a cheese-and-salmon toast.
“Well, to be honest, I’m doing much better than when you left me,” he revealed. It didn’t surprise you. After all, it was what you expected him to say. “You must have had your reasons for breaking up with me, and after all these years, I’m not going to ask why you did it. But I won’t lie to you… you left me shattered, Y/N.”
“Seb, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“I know,” he cut in softly, making a gentle gesture with his hand to calm you down. “Like I said, I’m not looking for an explanation or an apology. I just want you to know how I felt. Mentally… damn, Y/N, you broke me, and I completely lost myself, but at the same time, that’s what gave me the strength to win the championship in 2013,” he looked away from your eyes, shifting his gaze to the wall. Nervously, he started playing with his fingers. “All I could think about was you and that, maybe, there was a chance you were watching...”
“Of course I was, Seb,” you said softly, trying to hold back the tears and keep your composure. “No matter what happened, I never stopped watching or supporting you. I’ve always been, and will always be, your number one fan.”
He nodded, a bittersweet expression crossing his face.
“That year, everything I did was with the thought in mind that you were watching and, somehow, it helped me move forward. But… 2014 was when everything fell apart,” he admitted. “Red Bull wasn’t the same anymore, or at least, I didn’t feel the same way. I wasn’t winning, Daniel was beating me… I felt like I had lost everything, including you and, with time, I started to feel like I had no reason to stay with the team or maybe even in Formula 1. Until Ferrari offered me the contract.”
You remembered it like it was yesterday. Unlike any regular sports fan, you found out through Heike when you were out for a walk with Emily.
“When I was given the chance to sign with Ferrari in 2015... Y/N, really, that’s when I realized it wasn’t the end. That’s what I needed to move forward. I think I mentioned it to you on WhatsApp, but I don’t know if you remember…”
You swallowed hard. Of course, you remembered. He told you just before the news became public, before his mum told you, but you didn’t know how to answer him or if you really should do it. The demons in your head made you think it was a joke, even just an excuse to get closer to you. And you also felt that if he did sign with Ferrari, it would open a door you had closed because you weren’t ready to face the truth.
Just like you were doing now.
“I remember, yes,” you murmured, unable to look him in the eyes.
“When I didn’t get a reply from you I decided not to push it. That’s when I realized you didn’t want anything to do with me. Yet I kept sending you stuff as you might know…”
“That’s not it…” You could barely speak. You were as broken as he was. “I read the message, Seb, but… I burst into tears and didn’t have the strength to reply. I didn’t want to give you false hope when I wasn’t ready to… I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already had,” you confessed. “I knew that if I spoke to you again, I’d hurt you again. And I’d hurt myself too. I couldn’t do that to you, Seb.”
He nodded, looking for some kind of affirmation in your gaze.
“At first, I felt really out of place on the team, you know? And I felt that way for a long time,” he revealed. “It was completely out of my comfort zone, and I felt like I’d never fit in. But little by little, Kimi, Maurizio, and the team made me feel like family. It’s strange to think about it now, but I can’t imagine being with any team other than Ferrari.” You agreed with him, from what you had seen on TV, it was clear he felt that way. “Fighting for the world title with them this year and having a real shot at beating Mercedes… I never thought I’d get to this point.”
You looked at him with a mix of admiration and nostalgia. This was the Seb you knew, the Seb with ambition, who always desired more and more. The Seb who never gave up.
The Seb who didn’t break down, even when he had every reason to.
“I’m so proud of you, Seb. I’ve always been, and I always will be. Don’t forget that.”
“Of course, Y/N,” he looked uncomfortable. Quite a bit, actually. “Well… enough about me. You know I don’t like talking about myself… What about you? What have you been up to all this time? My mom told me a bit, and I’ve seen you a few times, but…”
More than not knowing what to say, you sensed he didn’t want to intrude too much into your life.
You swallowed, trying not to get more nervous than you already were, because now, you supposed, was the moment to tell him about Emily.
“Well, not much has changed, really,” you started, unsure of what to say. “I’ve been in Heppenheim the whole time, except for a couple of trips to Berlin, but nothing unusual,” you tried to smile, but your mind kept circling around the fact that you had to tell him you had a daughter. “I’ve been working at the bar and writing music. To be honest, since we broke up I’ve had a lot more inspiration.”
And since I gave birth to Emily, you thought.
Seb didn’t say anything. You figured he understood. After all, he had thrown himself into his career to cope, while you had poured your emotions into writing songs about the story you shared to cope with grief.
“Now things have changed a bit,” you continued, trying to sound more upbeat to push away the painful memories. “Ever since Red went viral… I swear, I uploaded it without expecting anything, but the reaction…”
“The song is amazing, Y/N. Of course it went viral.”
“I’ve been offered a record deal,” you blurted out. “A few years ago, I met Niall Horan at the bar. You know, the guy who was on that band, One Direction…” Seb nodded, his eyes wide, encouraging you to continue. “He told me he was traveling to find some inspiration for his solo career, and I guess Heppenheim seemed like a good place for him to visit.”
“Wait, wait… a record deal?”
“Apparently, Niall told his label that I was the voice behind Red, and, well… Capital Records offered me a contract,” you explained. “They called me to have a meeting in London, which is why we couldn’t meet up last time…”
His face was calm, unreadable, though his mouth had curved into a big smile. He didn’t seem surprised, and you knew there was a strong chance Hanna had told him everything.
If that was true…
“I hope you accepted, Y/N.”
“Well… actually, I didn’t. I turned it down.”
His smile faded for a moment, and his expression became completely serious.
“You turned it down? Why? Sunshine, this is an opportunity…”
“Yes, I know it’s an amazing opportunity, but I can’t accept it. Not right now.”
You figured this was the moment you should tell him the real reason behind rejecting such a big deal, which included a tour if you sold a certain amount of CDs.
Sebastian kept staring at you, which only made you more nervous. You tried to gather your thoughts, searching for the right way to tell him you had a four-year-old daughter, but you couldn’t find the moment.
You couldn’t just drop it on him now, after all, this was your first real conversation in almost five years.
“Y/N, darling…”
“I can’t take the risk when the only thing I’ve managed is to get one song out of all the ones I sent to the label to go viral,” you half-lied. It was true that you didn’t want to talk about it yet, but you were also insecure about your music. “As much as I’d love to have an album, to fill stadiums and have people singing along to my songs, I can’t take that risk.”
“But, Y/N…”
“I’m not sure all the songs on the album would be successful, Seb.”
“Y/N, you have no idea what you’re going to regret if you let this go....”
“No, Seb, I know exactly what I’m doing, really,” you shook your head, firm in your decision. “This is the best thing for me.” 
And for Emily too, though you didn’t say that out loud.
Seb remained silent for longer than you would have liked, as if trying to process what you’d just told him. Then, he stood up, crouching down to your level, and taking your hands in his, he said:
“Alright. If you think your songs aren’t good enough, sing one of them to me.”
“What?” you asked, confused.
“If you turned down the record deal because you think your songs aren’t good enough for the world to hear, sing one of them to me.”
His tone, though calm, was direct and insistent.
“Seb… I can’t. I’m too embarrassed,” you laughed nervously.
“Come on, Y/N,” he said, gently rubbing your hands with his thumbs, just like he always did when your anxiety was at its worst. “It’s just me. I’m still the same after all these years.”
You sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to let it go until you gave in. It was Seb, and he always got what he wanted from you, even when you didn’t want to. In the end, you gave in, carefully standing up from the couch and heading towards the piano at the back of the room, gesturing for him to follow you.
You carefully slided the bench back, lifting the lid as you sat down. You positioned your hands, starting to play the first few chords to warm up, ensuring your memory flawlessly recalled the piece.
“This is song number 5, like your driver number... It's called loml.”
You continued playing, finally giving way to the song.
Who's gonna stop us from waltzing   Back into rekindled flames?   If we know the steps anyway   We embroidered the memories   Of the time I was away   Stitching, ‘We were just kids, babe.’   I said, ‘I don't mind, it takes time.’   I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed   I felt aglow like this   Never before and never since.
Your voice shook as you began to sing, but you kept going, holding on to what your ex-boyfriend had told you about how he knew it was about him. As you settled into the song, you started feeling more comfortable, just like you did when you used to sing for Seb. Though you couldn’t look at him because you were absorbed in the key, your fingers delicately moving over it, you could feel his eyes on you.
You shit-talked me under the table   Talking rings and talking cradles   I wish I could un-recall   How we almost had it all   Dancing phantoms on the terrace   Are they second-hand embarrassed   That I can't get out of bed?   Cause something counterfeit's dead.
Tears started falling from your eyes as you approached the final part of the song. Memories of your shared history flashed through your mind like a movie. Your vision was completely blurred, and you felt a tightness in your chest that was overwhelming, making it hard to breathe, almost impossible to keep singing. Somehow, though, you fought to hold it together, just as you did the day you said goodbye to the man now sitting beside you.
Oh, what a valiant roar   What a bland goodbye   The coward claimed he was a lion   I'm combing through the braids of lies   ‘I’ll never leave’... ‘Never mind.’   Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire   Your arson matches your somber eyes   And I'll still see it until I die   You're the loss of my life.
Silence filled the room as you played the final notes. With your hands still resting on the keyboard, you looked at Seb. Once again, you didn’t know what to say to him, and you knew he didn't either. He was motionless, running a hand through his hair, probably trying to process what he just heard.
Y/Ni, this song... it’s about us, isn’t it?”
“It might be,” you admited, unable to lie to him, at least not about this.
He sighed. You could tell he was affected; you knew it the moment his tears began to form, just as yours continued to flow.
“You should rethink the contract,” he said firmly. “This song deserves to be heard by more than just me, your parents, and Hanna.”
“I can’t, Seb. I just can’t…”
“Can I sit next to you?”
You looked up and saw him gesturing to the bench. Confused, not sure what to do or say, you shifted a little, making space, and he sat beside you. Seb didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around you, offering a comfort that felt wonderful but also caused you to crumble a bit more inside. 
You surprised yourself by resting your head on his shoulder.
“Why are you so determined to convince yourself you don’t deserve this opportunity?” His tone was soft, just like the way he stroked your hair. “Do you really think you're not good enough to be a successful singer?”
“It’s not about being good enough, it’s that I’m not,” you whisper,ed your throat tightening. “I’m not a good person, Seb, and it’s only a matter of time before I screw up again and hurt someone, just like I hurt you.”
“Does this… have something to do with the second date in your YouTube channel username?”
You stood your head up, staring at him in confusion while trying not to panic.
“What are you talking about?”
“Your username,” he repeated, moving closer. “I figured out that the numbers represent two dates. I know for sure that one of them is June 15, 2006, the day we started dating, but the other one… I don’t know what January 12, 2014 means for you because we weren’t talking by then, but it must be important. And based on what you just said…”
Your eyes widened in shock. You were paralyzed, not knowing how to react. 
How could he have noticed something so… insignificant? How had he connected the dots and figured out the dates you had in mind when you created that account?
You thought this would be the perfect moment to tell him that the second date marks the birth of your daughter, the daughter you had together; that on that day, while you were in labor, he was at the hospital waiting for some exams results and he was talking to your dad, who couldn’t contain his excitement about his granddaughter’s arrival and had to keep it a secret from him.
But you couldn’t. Not yet. You need to regain his trust first. You and Seb needed to rebuild the kind of relationship you had before you became the love of each other’s lives.
“Seb…” you trailed off, unable to continue. “I swear, on everything that matters to you, I’ll tell you, but right now… I just can’t.”
He looked at you for a few seconds that felt like an eternity. You knew him better than you knew yourself, and you knew he was persistent, that he needed an answer, but you also knew he was respectful and wouldn't push you.
“That’s okay,” he said finally, a bit resigned. “I understand, it’s fine. I’m not asking you to tell me now if you’re not ready, but I want you to know that when you are, I’ll be here to listen.”
You looked at him, grateful, and nodded without saying anything else. 
You both sat at the piano bench for a while, in silence, listening only to the sound of your breathing and the melody of the song replaying in your mind, as intrusive thoughts overwhelmed you.
“If I waited almost 19 years of my life to be your boyfriend, I can wait a little longer, it doesn’t matter the time you need, for you to tell me,” Seb finally spoke, and his words broke you a little more than you already were. “Let’s be friends again, what do you think?” he offered, giving you a small smile. “Let’s take things slowly, like maybe we should have done when we first started dating. You know…”
“Slowly, no problem,” you repeated, smiling back at him.
You felt a weight lift from your shoulders at his words. Maybe you were not at the peak of your relationship, and maybe you’d never got back there, but at least you were working together to turn your story into something new.
“You know what, Y/N? I’ve always felt like our story wasn’t over. I don’t just mean that romantically, but in a broader sense,” he said quickly. “We have a whole lot of history, and now is when we’re going to start writing our second book.”
“I know, Seb. I’ve been thinking the same thing ever since I said goodbye to you,” you confess. “That day, goodbyes were bittersweet, but I knew it wasn’t the end and that I’d see you again.”
Before the year ends. I’m telling Seb Emily is her daughter before December 31st.
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lucrativesoul · 1 year ago
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summary: you finally graduated college and are home free for the summer, planning to spend as much time as possible with your best friend. what you weren't planning for, however, was the incredible sight of her older brother, Leon, who had drastically changed after all those years. you had never thought you would fall for your best friend's brother.
pairing: leon kennedy (re2) x fem! reader
word count: 9.3k
warnings: smut, bathroom sex, public sex, fingering, dom(ish) leon
a/n: guys, thank you endlessly for 300+ followers, 250+ reblogs and all those likes! i'd like you all to take a moment to read this, apologies... i absolutely love writing. I've been writing for ten years! crazy. i do it for fun, and because i want to put out the content that i want to consume and i want to be that outlet for people who don't write but want to consume, that is just as fair! a while ago, while writing this, my laptop gave me a scare. i'm realizing now that its a 5 year old macbook, which, in apple timeline, means it might be on the way out at the blink of an eye. if you are feeling generous at all, i have created a ko-fi. it is absolutely not necessary, because i'm not doing this blog for money, but if you really love my work and want other ways to support me, it's there. i will never be upset at no donations, but i made it in hopes that i'm on this blog for a long time. so sorry for the rambling, i really hope you guys enjoy this one, and i will be back soon for a fifth fic. love u!
No matter how many young adult fiction books you read, how many love story tropes you think you have seen, there was just one that seemed so unreasonable, it was almost laughable. Because, after all, you spent way too much time with this person to ever even see him as attractive, it had never even crossed your mind. Come on, your best friend’s brother? The boy who was so ungracious, messy, impolite, and had a crude, childish sense of humor? It was just unrealistic.
Until… It was realistic.
For all your life, you looked at Leon Kennedy as the young, bumbling boy who tripped over his own two feet at any given opportunity, ready to make jokes at inappropriate times and constantly worked overtime to barge in when you and your best friend were hanging out. He was only two years older than you, but his personality read the same age, if not, younger. Boys will be boys…
You always knew that college would change a person, and you can’t deny that about yourself, but it was so hard to look at the people you were closest to and imagine that they, too, changed with college. Your best friend was still the same person you knew since middle school, and all those years that you knew Leon, he had never changed, until he left for college himself. You were confident in knowing that when he came back, he would be the same exact person, just… older.
You could not have been more wrong.
“These days could not go by any faster.” Your best friend whined to you over the phone, a daily routine between the two of you. “I need you home ASAP, Leon is driving me crazy. He’s being so loud.”
Yep, that sounded pretty in character for him. “I know, just five more days, and I’m home free, forever. I wish commencement wasn’t even happening at this rate, I’m wasting away here.”
You were finishing up your last days as a college senior at a school that was a thousand miles away from home. The scholarship opportunity was incredible, and you could not say no to this offer. Your best friend chose to stay local, which you inwardly criticized, but would never say to her. You knew her parents could have afforded to send her here, who needs that big of a house for a family of four anyway?!
Commencement was set to happen on Thursday, and it was currently Sunday. Your own parents had flown in to watch you walk the stage, and while you knew your best friend would have dropped everything to come as well, her school chose to hold theirs on the same exact day. Figures.
“I miss you guys. The summers I came home just weren't enough. I have to say, I’m so glad this internship bullshit is over. It feels like I haven’t ever even lived with you.”
You heard her groan on the other line. “I know! It’s so stupid. Why would a program even make it so you could only intern in the summer? Don't they know you are only in your twenties once?!”
You laughed at her remark, gazing off as you continued the conversation. Classes were over and exams were concluded, at least you had a healthy pile of books to go through to pass the time. You decided to worry about the logistics of taking them home at a later date.
There’s something so innocent about getting lost in the world of young adult romance. Some would say it makes their own lives dreary, coming to the conclusion that they could never live out these fantasies in the real world, but to you, it felt real anyways. It only made you happier. It puts some optimism in your life.
The comfy plane read you chose was about a high school girl, absolutely smitten over the five-years-older brother of her best friend. This type of thing, you thought, just seemed too… fairytale, to be real. In no world where you knew someone as a child could you grow up and think they were an object of fantasy. You tried picturing you and Leon in this situation. Never!
Admittedly, you haven’t seen Leon in like 4 years. The last time you saw him, it was right before you left for college, and your major requires summer internships which leave a very small window for home visits. You never crossed paths during those times. From what your friend tells you, he’s rarely home now, he must have migrated to a new group of friends in college and found other passions. Good for him, you thought, you wish you could say the same, but you needed the income from whatever job you landed from your internship.
He was never really a tiny boy in high school, he was of a pretty average build and rivaled some of the football players, but he was not an athletic kid. You can’t imagine him changing that much more, your best friend never talked about him like that, obviously, so, you only had to imagine after the last time you saw him.
From your own personal standpoint, it was just impossible to believe in this best friend’s brother trope. You shut the book and closed your eyes, willing the plane to start moving faster.
As soon as your plane touched down, you whipped your phone out to send a text: As soon as all this shit is put away, I’m coming straight over.
Predictably, less than three minutes later: YES!! All nighter, we’re 14 again. I have drinks in the fridge.
Willing yourself through all the pleasantries of coming home, promising other relatives you would be by in a few days when you are settled, you merely threw your suitcase down into your room before dashing out to your car, knowing the route to your best friend’s house even with your eyes closed. 
A tight, running start hug was the intro you both needed as a fresh start to the summer.
“Please tell me you are home for good now, they aren't making you do any more summer internships?”
You laughed as you followed her into the house. It felt like it’s been forever since you’ve been in this large house’s lived-in walls. “No, thank god. I’m officially done. Except for job hunting, but I’m putting that off for as long as I can get away with it.”
“Agreed.”
As you followed her up the steps to her room, snacks and drinks spilling over your arms, a loud cacophony rang out through the house, coming from the garage. “What the hell is that?” You stopped short, listening to it through the closed door.
“Wow, that’s how I really know it’s been forever since you’ve been here. I’m so used to it now. It’s a band that Leon is a part of. The ‘rents loaned out a car space in the garage.”
Wow, you thought, multiple things to dissect here. One: this has been going on for some time now, and you never knew. You didn’t blame your friend for not bringing it up, it wasn’t weird to not mention a new hobby of her brother’s. Two: Leon apparently knew how to play an instrument. You couldn’t recall anytime seeing him play anything, and he had never expressed an interest in singing, so that was difficult to digest. Three: their parents would give up a car space just for them to do this. They still had two car spaces left in there.
“God, it’s really been that long, huh? I’ll have to get him to spill all about this whenever he comes out.”
You heard a groan from in front of you on the stairs, and you hopped up to be beside her, headed to her bedroom. “If you can even catch him. He’s like a slippery snake. Plus, he’s so private, I don't know what happened to him. Anyway, you should come over tomorrow night and pregame with me and the girls, cause…” 
She droned on, and while you still had half of your brain paying attention to her, you couldn’t help but think about that sentence she just said. Leon’s different now? The slippery snake part didn’t make many waves, you weren’t surprised that a man in his mid twenties didn’t want to be bothered, but you didn’t expect a whole new personality to come out of him. What happened while he was gone? Or, what kind of epiphany did he have?
“Oh, my god, look at this, too. I totally forgot to send you this. I’m so mad you missed it!”
Your best friend shoved a phone in your face, and you took it, grateful for the mental topic switch. It was a group of four girls and five boys, your old friends, standing along a cliffside in bathing suits. You assumed this was the cliff jumping extravaganza you heard about over the phone a couple weeks ago. And, yes, you were also mad you missed it.
“This looked like so much fun, I haven't seen all of them in forever. Maybe we can convince everyone to do it again soon.” You looked up and smiled as your friend laughed. You looked back down to the photo. “Who is this?”
She leaned over you as you zoomed in on a man in the top right, his lower half covered by a girl bending forward for a photo, but you could tell he was incredibly toned. His hair was pushed back with water from the lake below, and a broad smile graced his features. You sensed familiarity, but you had never met this person before.
Your friend scoffs. “Girl, what? That’s Leon.”
“What?!” Has it really been that long since you’ve seen Leon in person? Now that you look at it again, yep, that’s definitely him, but why does he look so different? Thinking back, it wasn’t often you spent time with him around after he graduated high school and went to college. You saw him probably even less than you visited home during your college career, and honestly, it has probably been years since you’ve seen him at all. “He looks so… different.”
“Like I said, I don’t know what happened. Maybe he won’t recognize you either.” You handed her phone back to her. Maybe, you wondered, but you doubted it. Nothing about you changed at all. You woke up every day waiting for a magical overnight nose job and five month glute progress from the gym that you didn’t go to, but it never happened. 
The night carried on, the strange questions about Leon’s college whereabouts pushed to the back of your mind. It felt so good to be back home. The summer was only just getting started, and with the buzz running through your system, you couldn't feel anything except excitement.
“I’m out of water, fuckkk,” You moaned. Your friend giggled at you. 
“Go get some. And don’t fall.” If you were any more sober you would have glared at her for this, reminding you of the time you drunkenly took a tumble down her stairs, but right now, it was only a funny memory as you totally didn’t have an iron grip on the railing as you walked down.
The rest of the house was dark and quiet now. You remembered her saying her parents were somewhere else, so you hadn’t seen them at all tonight, and there was no longer heavy music coming from the garage. You instinctively turned your head that way, like it would magically start up again.
You stumbled over to the refrigerator, yanking it open and hearing all the bottles clink around on the door. It took you a second to collect your bearings, but after a few more seconds, water was located, and you let your eyes readjust to the darkness as you shut the door. A figure in the darkness made you yelp.
“Goddamnit, you scared me!” You placed a hand over your beating heart.
A deep laugh floated through the air at this, but you were still partially blinded. “Hey, you. I’m sorry, I thought you were my sister.”
Leon. 
You blinked hard a few times, willing the night vision to return, and a little bit of your drunkenness away. You took a hard look at the man in front of you, as good of a look as you could. You only saw a silhouette, a dark shirt, hair over his forehead, and he was taller than you, wider, stronger. This was not the Leon you remember from high school.
“Leon. It’s so nice to see you.” You tried your hardest to sound normal, but surely he already knew what the two of you were up to.
“Yeah, it’s been a while.” Slowly, your vision was returning, and his facial features were becoming prominent. Eyes. Mouth. Smile. “Congratulations on graduating, back home for good now?” 
“Yeah, yes. Thank god. Thank you.” You could now tell you were fumbling over your words, and suddenly wanting nothing more than to go back upstairs. “I’ll be here a lot more often now, so get used to me.” You walked around him back to the stairs, listening to that low chuckle that you got out of him. God, you really needed another drink.
The night and next day bore on with nothing too important left to remember about it, as long as you were in the confort of your home town again getting fucked up with nowhere to be, it was a great time as far as you were concerned. 
Though, despite continuing to drink that night and waking up a little unsteady the next morning, you couldn’t shake that brief encounter you had with Leon. You could barely see him in the dark, but you could already tell he looked different. His build was wider than the last time you saw it, he even looked a little taller. He had only ever been maybe an inch above you, but since he disappeared to college, it looked like he went up at least five. Or maybe you were shrinking. 
You were mad it was so dark and you were on the edge of tipsy and drunk to be able to clearly see him. You saw him in the photo of the outing at the cliffside, but you really didn't want to believe that was him. He was almost… sexy.
Which was crazy. You had never thought of Leon like that. Yes, there was some sort of novelty to having a crush on the only consistent older man in your life whom you weren’t related to, but whenever you came face to face with him, it was just normal. You felt nothing, he was just there. 
But this… this could change everything. Was he actually attractive now? God knows you weren’t the best at being normal around people who you thought were attractive, and that could make things infinitely awkward with being around your best friend so often. And your best friend, what would she even think? You can’t confide in her to tell her you might think her older brother is hot. This was all messed up. This is not how you wanted summer to start.
A few days had passed with no rift, and your momentary crisis left with no memory. You discovered, though, as much as you couldn’t wait for summer to roll around so you could be free of your duties, your days were much more boring than you had anticipated. With your past summer internships, you were always busy, and had one or two days a week to rest at most. But now, with the summer sun high in the sky and no requirements of you anymore, you were at a loss of anything to do other than sit by your best friend’s pool, baking in the heat.
“They’re having some start-of-summer party going on in one of the campus houses tonight, are we down?”
You didn’t move your head nor open your eyes as your friend spoke to you. “Yeah, sure. It will be more of a time than drinking with just us.”
She sighed. “You can say that again.”
You pushed yourself up off the chair. “I’ll be back, don’t drown.”
You listened to her sarcastic response as you went inside the house, needing a moment to cool down, and to refill your drink. As you slid the glass door shut, you were greeted with the sound of loud instruments, reminding you of the first night you came here once returning from school. Leon must have had his bandmates come over some time while the both of you were outside, as you don’t remember hearing this, or seeing anyone else. You ignored it, and stalked past the door, headed upstairs to the kitchen.
The music stopped, a door opened, and chatter became clearer without the barrier. You didn’t know who else Leon could have here, you didn’t know his friends, and you were suddenly too aware of the bikini you had on. Whatever, you soothed your anxiety, I look good.
“Oh, hey.” You turned around at the strange voice, not recognizing the person standing at the stairway, headed towards the kitchen. “Now it’s a party.”
“Dude, gross.” A more familiar voice followed quickly behind the quip, and Leon’s head became visible as he climbed the stairs. “Sorry.” He spoke now to you, visibly doing his best to keep eye contact with you. Now you could really feel your half-nakedness. 
“Doesn’t sound like you guys are making much progress out there.” You joked, turning your head back to where you were filling your water bottle. You heard Leon’s friend laugh, making a remark along the lines of blaming other people in the band, but you unintentionally tuned him out.
“We’re trying.” Leon was closer to you now, and when you turned, his friend had disappeared, probably into the bathroom. Leon was grabbing drinks from the fridge, and the two of you were separated by the kitchen island, sunlight illuminating both of you.
His hair was a shade darker than you remembered it being, still blonde, but almost brown. It came down to touch his ears, and the pieces of bangs on his forehead were clumped together with sweat. He had on a gray tank, the ones with the arm holes that go down to your ribcage. His arms, god, those arms–
“Doing anything fun out there?” He walked around the island, even closer to you now, getting cups from the cabinets. 
You shook your head. “Just trying to become a leather couch while I’m still young.” You fixed the top of your water bottle back on, but didn’t move from your spot, taking the chance to talk to Leon.
“That’s the spirit.” He placed the cups down on the counter and leaned on it, clearly standing around to talk to you, too. You noticed a bandage wrapped around his right hand as he crossed his arms.
“What happened there? Start scrapping with the wrong people?” 
He lifted it and looked at it, like he just realized it was there. He laughed softly. “This might sound gross, but it's just a callus that burst open the other day. Right when I was used to holding drumsticks all the time.”
You sighed a gentle laugh. “Doesn’t that hurt, still using it?”
He shook his head. “Nah, I just didn’t want to start touching shit and get it all gross again.” He set his hand back down. You took the silence to ask another question. 
“When did the drums start? That was never a thing as far as I can remember.” He looked down, slowly nodding his head, as if trying to piece together memories of what his life was like the last time he saw you.
He sighed. “I kind of picked it up during college. I thought it was a lot of fun. I knew a lot of guys at the time who were in a bunch of different bands, so they had access to all these instruments, and I tried a bunch, but the only one that stuck was drums. I guess it’s easy and I like it only because I still can’t read sheet music for the life of me.”
You smiled softly at his explanation. Looking at him in the daylight, now, you can see the old him in his features. He grew into his face, his cheekbones slightly more pronounced, and his dimpled chin fitting perfectly into his jawline. His eyes were soft, yet tired. Still the bright blue you remember them being.
“Are you any good?”
He smiled fully at this, looking back up to you. “Of course. I know it sounds like ass right now, but we’re trying out some new stuff. But, and maybe I’m just biased, I think we have some really solid potential.”
You shrugged, a grin still present on your face. “I’ll have to see it to believe it.”
Leon stood up now, grabbing the cups and the still tied together 6-pack. “I agree. We’re doing a local show next Wednesday night. I’m always inviting my sister, but she doesn’t like going alone, and the rest of your friends don’t like that bar.” You smiled at this. Sounds typical of your friends. “Maybe she will come if you will. And, uh, if you’re still with that guy, he can come, too.”
Your brow furrowed at this. “Guy?”
Leon shrugged. “Oh, well, she told me in passing that you were with some guy last summer. From around here.”
You paused to think about this, nearly forgetting your whole past trying to rake your brain for a memory. It then hit you. “Oh, shit, yeah, that was definitely just a summer thing. He was…” A douche, conceited, horrible at sex. “Not the best. I’m not seeing anybody. And definitely not while school was in. I was way too busy for that.” 
He nodded, standing up a little straighter. “Well, that’s good. And fuck that guy.” You giggled at his support. “I think you should come. I’d be happy to see you there.”
And, oddly, for the first time ever speaking with Leon, your stomach did a flip that only ever happened when you were talking to someone whom you liked. It caught you off guard, and your words caught on your throat.
You nodded quickly, using the opportunity to take a deep breath in. “Yeah, I’ll be there. I’ve got the time to, now.”
“Cool. I won’t disappoint, I promise.” With that, Leon bounded back across the room and down the stairs, opening and shutting the door to the garage. You sighed deeply. You didn’t like the feeling that was creeping up inside of you.
Putting your newfound conundrum aside for the night, you resolved to let loose and get back to enjoying the summer the way you had intended to. You were almost tempted to stick around and listen once his band got started with the music again as you were on your way outside, but decided against it, as your friend would surely be asking what took so long. 
Part of you wished Leon had gone to this little party tonight, considering he knew all of your mutual friends, but he was never the party type before this, and it seemed that college did not change that much either. It would make sense if he had a gig coming up, they must be preparing, but you didn’t picture him to be much of a perfectionist. Maybe that changed as well.
“Why are we going to this again?” Your friend asked as she followed you out of her house, locking the door behind her. She seemed awfully quick to keep up with you for complaining about doing something she doesn't want to.
“I don’t know, it gives us something to do. Leon asked me to come. Now you’re coming with me.”
“What? Why did Leon ask you to come? He doesn't ask me.” The two of you slid into her sleek black coupe. 
You shrugged as you fastened the belt. “I saw him the other day when I was here, I came in while we were out by the pool. We were just talking. And he said he does invite you, by the way, but you never go.”
She was the one to shrug this time. “Maybe he does. You think there will be hot men here?”
“We’re both hoping.” You half-assed the response, but you already knew the answer was yes. You could never tell her you think Leon is attractive now. You had been mulling it over the past few days, ever since you spoke to him, and you had no choice but to confirm it. He really, really grew into his body. You could even push the curiosity aside to wonder what it was about college that changed him like that, you were just thankful it happened.
Your local bar looked just as you remembered, dark and looming from the outside, people filing in and out simultaneously. It was much busier than you had ever seen it, but the show was most likely the reason for the sudden influx in customers.
The crowd was a thick mass, and you had trouble even spotting the stage when you walked in, but once you and your friend had found a nice little corner, vacant of bodies, and conveniently found a third mutual friend to stand by, the room seemed a little less stuffy.
You absentmindedly scanned the crowd, people hoarding in front of the stage, waiting to be the first to break open the mosh pit, presumably, people in the back drinking idly and chatting, almost like they don't even know a show is happening this night. You found yourself looking for Leon. He was in the building somewhere. You wished you could have told him you were there, but what good would that have done? He wouldn’t have come out to say hello, there were preparations to be had back there.
God, shut up already, you willed at yourself, annoyed at the mere fact that you couldn’t stop thinking of Leon.
Admittedly, you thought of that first scene more often than not recently. The muscle shirt, ribcage exposed, thick arms, sweet smile and bouncy cheeks with a strong jawline, the vision came to you during the day, at breakfast, while you were scrolling your phone, late at night, when the moon was your only company. 
You wondered what he would look like tonight. You were so anxious for him to step out on stage. Would he see you?
Your friend stumbled sideways into you, knocking you out of your monetary stupor. People were now starting to crowd in, hence the bump, and you were assuming the start of the set was about to happen.
On cue, the lights went darker, the roar of the crowd exploded, and people rushed on stage and took their places. Your eyes were instantly drawn to Leon, who, from what you could only see from the backlight so far, had on another muscle shirt. It made your legs feel like jelly.
The lights went on, and after a brief introduction from the front man who was holding a guitar, they started. Leon was right, they were pretty good when they weren’t rehearsing new material. You knew this wasn’t the type of music your best friend was into, but to your surprise, she was bopping away with your other mutual friend, both of them holding drinks. That’s probably why.
Turning back, you could see Leon clearly under the lights now, which were strobing in and out, flashing different colors and patterns. His hair was pushed back this time, exposing his forehead, and looking brand new. You liked the way it looked on him, it made him almost look older. Everytime a strong beam of light would shine down on him, you could see the glistening sweat on his skin, his face. He was so focused on hitting the beats, and succeeded everytime, and you were so enticed by it.
This was a side of Leon you never thought you would see. It was so clear, standing in the crowd watching, how much he belonged up there. He looked so confident, every move was made with ease, no hesitation, and you could feel yourself melting.
It was like a headrush, you didn’t think you would enjoy it this much, but clearly, every moment took your breath away. Yes, you were looking at Leon the whole time, but who could really tell?
Soon enough, the show ended, and the crowd was applauding for what felt like ten minutes as the individual members left the stage, thanked everyone, hopped down to talk to others. You were interrupted with your people-watching when your friend grabbed you by the elbow to let you know she was headed back to the bar for more drinks, and you absentmindedly nodded while you turned back.
You caught the back of Leon, dipping behind the stage into the back of the bar. The tips of your fingers tingled with… something, some emotion you couldn’t read… and you let your body take over as you weaved through the crowd, headed to the back.
People bumped you and yelled in your ears as you squeezed in between them, paying them no mind, on a mission of your own.
After a few seconds, you reached a hallway, a few people lingering by the bathrooms, and you spotted someone, you recognized him as the frontman, dipping behind another doorway, chattering loudly to people behind the wall. Times like this, you wished you had decided to down some liquid courage.
You stalked slowly over to the doorway, seeing flashes of shadow as people walked by, unsure if you should hang out or go in. Most likely, you weren’t welcome, it was probably for performers only, but you couldn’t help it, you continued inching closer, drawn in by an unseen force.
As you took another step inward, a figure rushed out and crashed right into you. 
“Oh shit, I’m sorry, bathrooms are that way if you’re looking for them, this is restricted access.” You looked up at the man you walked into, you didn’t know who it was. 
“Oh, um…” You backed up a step, and though he was making moves to walk around you, he was waiting for a response. “I was actually waiting for Leon… the drummer.” You added in the title, just in case this was a man who worked at the bar with no affiliation to the band. But, to your relief, he nodded.
“I’ll get him, just chill over there, ‘kay?”
You dumbly nodded and backed up again. The hallway was lit with fluorescents, the bright white kind, but it was still dark, with the walls and floors looking slick with condensation. You opted not to lean up against them.
“Hey, you’re still here?” A voice snapped your head back over to your left, and you saw Leon walking towards you. “You didn’t leave with the rest of them?” He must have seen your other friend there as well.
You shook your head. “They’re still here, I think. Just getting drinks.” He nodded. “I told you I would come.” You held your arms out in a here I am gesture. He laughed.
“I’m so glad. I didn’t see you while I was up there, but… I do tend to just tune everything else out when I play.”
“You did great. You were really good.” You spoke, almost breathless for no apparent reason. 
He smiled softly, his eyes holding contact with yours. “Thank you.” His hair was now starting to fall back into place on his forehead, his face was still red with exerted energy. Your eyes wandered, without your permission, his arms were shining under the hallway lights, still sweaty. You looked away, but he saw. “You look great tonight.” His voice was low, and a twist went straight down your abdomen.
You smiled back. You briefly looked down at your outfit, simply a short skirt and loose band tee. “Thank you. It’s nothing.” 
“I like it.” He looked back into your eyes, and you found yourself lost for words. He broke eye contact for a second, turned around and looked into the back room where, presumably, the rest of his bandmates were. He turned back to you. “You know,” He looked down, and took a step forward towards you, slowly, as if to test the waters. You stayed put. “It’s been so long since I saw you last. I almost didn’t recognize you the first night you were at the house.” You grinned at the memory. You were also equally stunned to not know Leon had changed so much. “Not that you weren’t before but… You’re beautiful, now.” 
Your stomach sank at his words, and with his new proximity to you, it caused you to have to look up at him. You felt a strong shiver course up your body.
“I really… I didn’t recognize you. You look so different, too.” You whispered, knowing he was close enough to hear you. “I didn’t even think it was you at first.”
He simply stared at you for a few more moments, taking in your words, and the way you looked in front of him right now. You were suddenly self conscious, but his gaze seemed to tell you that he liked whatever he saw.
“I… don’t want to back you into any corners here…” He looked down, still not meeting your eyes. “But you’re giving me a… vibe. And I’d rather fuck around and find out than never know if I don’t try.”
You stood up straighter, coming closer to meet his face, his eyes finally touching back onto yours. “What kind of vibe?” You had to say something, anything, because you could barely comprehend this situation right now. Leon was catching a vibe from you? Could he tell that you were looking at his body? Could he tell that you thought he became very sexy?
He tilted his head a little further, and his brow bone cast a shadow over his eyes, darkening them. Another shiver down your body. He shrugged. “I think I just… think you are incredibly attractive, now.” His eyes darted down your body for a quick second before resuming their previous place. “And I want to know if you want to just try it out. Just once.”
You took a quick, silent breath in. He must have been picking up your messages, even though you said nothing and only spoke to him once. Was that one conversation that powerful? Was it the hint you dropped about not being with that guy anymore? Was this something he just knew he was going to attempt as soon as he saw you? You didn’t know, and you really didn’t have the time to think it over.
You reached up and placed a hand on his chest, slowly taking the shirt on his body in your hands, pulling him closer, but with no force. His eyes darted up behind you, and he turned his head quickly one more time. He saved you the trouble, and dipped his head down and kissed you hard.
You sighed instantly, fully gripping his shirt and dragging him in closer to you, pushing your body against his as you could feel him move towards you at the same time. You were exploding, you didn’t know what to do with the rest of your body, and could only bring your other hand up to his bicep, where he then palmed your waist. He pulled back after a few seconds.
“Follow me,” His face was flushed, and when he turned around, you were very quick to follow. He maneuvered the two of you through the back room, where people still were congregating, but none of them paid much attention to the two of you. You passed by his other bandmates, and when he turned the corner, he pushed open a door, and ushered you inside. It was a bathroom. “This is the best I can do right now.”
Instead of replying, you simply grabbed his face in both hands and pulled him in. The room was dark, you could tell from under your eyelids as you felt the heat of his face on yours again, and you were at least happy for that, you weren’t too sure you wanted to see the state of the bar’s bathroom at this moment.
His hands found solace again on your waist, thumbs rubbing circles, and fingers teasing along the waistband of your skirt. Leon pressed himself further into you, sandwiching you in between him and the wall, and the stark difference in temperature between the two caused another series of shivers to run up your body.
Leon’s mouth left your lips, now wet and slick with his saliva and yours, and traced them down the length of your jaw, along your neck, nipping at the tender skin, making you sigh and arch your back, increasing the contact of your bodies. Your hands dragged along his sturdy shoulders, reaching around and locking your arms behind his neck, holding him in as he worked your neck, and as his hands started to move. You kept breathily gasping as he bit underneath your jawline, fingertips caressing your jutting hip bone, dipping lower, causing ripples to erupt in your core.
He had positioned his hands now to take purchase on the hem of your skirt, full intentions of pulling it up, when he released his lips from your neck and his face was back in front of yours. 
“Sorry that this is all we have.” His voice was low, and you almost didn't hear it over the static of the bar music softly coming in through the speakers. “We can wait if you want.”
His hand was still positioned on your clothing, and you didn’t let go of him even a little bit. You could only look up, your head already touching the wall behind you. “Where’s the thrill in that?”
Under his shadow, you saw his lips quirk up slightly, he breathed a laugh, and dove back in to kiss you. You threaded your fingers through his hair, slightly tugging, hearing him groan at the sensation. The hand that was ready to hike your skirt up did just that, and his other was gripping your thigh, lifting it higher so he could slide himself right in between. 
He made himself comfortable pressed against you, and you could feel his erection growing through his jeans, giving himself some sort of friction, and you pushed back, earning another groan through your still connected lips. You dropped one of your hands from his hair and traced down his bicep, and into the large hole of his shirt, relishing in every ridge that his ribcage and abdomen had to offer. His skin was so smooth, you knew you would never be able to get enough.
He backed away from the kiss briefly for another moment. “If I never saw you that day you came inside, half naked… in my house looking like that…” He continued to grind himself into you as he spoke, earning noises from the both of you. “Who knows how long I would have to wait?” The hand on your thigh crept upward, leaving a wake of shivers in its path. His palm was flush to your bare skin, reaching the joint of your thigh and hip, and he squeezed the flesh of your hip, digging his thumb into the sweet spot, making you squirm. You clawed at his back, you didn’t even care if it hurt him. You were sure it didn’t.
Leon hovered his mouth over yours, not connecting, but enticing you, and you could only look up at him through a foggy gaze. His hair had now fallen back over his forehead, streaked with sweat, but you hardly minded the way it was touching yours, you wanted him closer. It was impossible how, through the shadow he cast from the light behind him, you could see his blue eyes so clearly, pupils blown, the way he was looking at you made you want to drop dead.
You couldn’t wait any longer, you didn’t even have words to say back to him, you just needed to show him what you thought, how you felt, you just needed him. Your hands came around the front of his body again, not losing contact the entire way, and grasped desperately at his belt, needing to pull out his girth, needing to have his cock in your hands, mouth, in you.
You gasped, trying to form words, but his presence was so dominating, you almost couldn’t. “Leon…” You breathed, and your fingers couldn’t work the clasp fast enough. “Let me…” Finally, it slid open, you pulled the two ends of the belt apart, and made quick work to free his dick from its constraints. Your knees buckled, and you started sliding down the wall.
As you were about to hit the ground, his hands hoisted you back up from under your arms, and you could have whined, the frustration growing, the time only growing in between you getting to have him in your mouth.
“No, I’m sorry,” He grunted as he pulled you up. He put both hands under your thighs, and you gasped as he suddenly picked you up, you wrapped your arms around his neck for balance. “You’re not getting on this floor for me, we’ll save that for another time.”
Another time. Fuck, just those words alone had you melting in his grasp, his strong hands and arms holding you up, walking you around the corner of the bathroom and shutting the two of you in a stall.
“But, you already started this for me, so,” He had you pressed in between himself and the wall once again, one of his arms was still holding you up in the air, legs wrapped around his torso. He tried to separate himself as much as he could to pull his cock out, you reached down in between the two of you to help him, pulling the waistband forward so he could pull them down.
Your breath caught as he pulled it out, a solid, thick length, rock hard, and you were suddenly so mad he wouldn’t let you suck it, because, fuck you would have sucked the life out of him at just the sight of his dick. 
Once he was free, he stroked himself a couple of times, causing himself to moan, and shit, you almost did, too, and he went back to the hem of your skirt, pushing it up over your hips, exposing your small underwear. He eyed them for a moment, humming in acceptance, before sliding them sideways and exposing your aching pussy to the cool air. You, in contrast, were overheating in this bathroom, but now that you were free, it felt so nice, and it felt even better when he ran his fingers along the length, in between your folds, pressing into your clit to watch you squirm again under him.
You sighed loudly, moans slipping out with your breathing as his contact with your heat felt like heaven, your head leaned back and hit the wall, but you didn’t care, you couldn’t feel it, you felt nothing but Leon’s fingers right now.
“Fuck, you’re so wet already,” He was breathing heavily, and you choked out a whimper when he slid one of his fingers in, and it wasn’t stopped with any friction. You also couldn’t believe how wet you were, but then again, you would jump hurdles to be able to suck his dick right here and now, so it must have gotten you worked up. “You feel so good around me.” He mumbled, practically groaned out, sliding in a second finger with ease, the slick sounds becoming louder as he worked you open, and while it felt so good, you just needed him to fuck you already.
“Leon…” You kept whining, unable to say anything else, mind fading, only wrapped around the feeling of him pleasuring you, fingering you, loosening you up for him. “Please, Leon…” You moved your hips, trying to signal to him to pull his fingers out, but he resisted, his hand following the movements of your hips, only going deeper, causing you to squeal when he went as far in as he could.
“Stay still, take it…” Now he pushed himself back against you, finding your lips again and kissing passionately, trapping his fingers inside you, and when you felt them move inside of you, you couldn’t help but squirm against him. His tongue caressed your lips, the inside of your mouth, and your tongue as he was so entwined in kissing you and in fingering you to the edge, his other hand gripping relentlessly at your ass.
After what felt like forever, he backed away, strings of saliva connecting your mouths, his eyes darker than ever, and you, breathing heavily, working to regain composure. He slid his fingers out, a small hiss escaping your lips with the emptiness.
“Fuck,” He sighed, and he looked back down in between you two. He adjusted his grip on your thigh and ass as he used his now free hand to line the tip of his cock up with your entrance, you felt a throb hit the core of your pussy at the mere sight, and you instinctively tightened when he teasingly dragged the tip along your lips, not giving you what he knew you wanted.
You sighed frustratingly, and couldn’t help it but to reach down and wrap your own hand around his dick. The sudden contact made him gasp, but he caught your hand and prevented you from piloting the moment.
“Just relax…” You didn’t need to look up to hear the smile painting his face, and as much as you wanted to protest, you knew he had the upper hand. This time. “You’ll get it, just be patient.” He drew a couple more lines into you, with your hand still trapped under his on his cock, which you could feel it throb every few seconds, and he finally pushed the tip into you.
You whimpered, whole body going slack, and you drew your hand back from his dick to find closure on his shoulder, steadying yourself as he slowly pushed himself all the way in. He had to stop every other second to collect himself as well, jaw tightened, hands gripping bruises into your hips and legs, a long, deep sigh once he was bottomed out.
He brought himself closer to you, relishing in the feeling of you being wrapped around him, unmoving, and he had his face in the crook of your neck, as if to ground himself from the feeling. Your body was shaking slightly, and you could barely breathe with his weight on top of you, but it all felt so good. His skin was slick, sweat coating anywhere that wasn’t exposed to the air, and your hands drawing deep scratches into his shoulder blades.
“Fuck, fuck…” You felt Leon’s lips moving against your throat, and his breath was hot, you could tell he was desperate to move inside of you, but he was still. “You’re so tight, god…” His lips moved up to place gentle kisses along your jawline, and your head rolled to the side to give him more access. He stayed there for a second, teeth grazing your skin, and after a while you were ready for him to start moving.
You picked your head up and turned sideways, forcing him to look directly at you, wasting no time in reconnecting your lips, and, while continuing to kiss you, he slowly slid out, and pushed himself back in.
The both of you were glued to each other as he continued to thrust in and out, your hands gripping impossibly hard on his shoulders, thighs shaking, breaths choppy. His eyes never left your face, he was watching your expressions so closely, you had no control over whatever was happening to you, you could barely breathe, you were so focused on the feeling that Leon was delivering, you simply ceased to acknowledge the setting you both were in.
“God, Leon…” You choked out in between gasps, head hitting the wall over and over, trying to helplessly grind your hips into his when he thrust up, but you had no energy to move against him. He took the initiative, and every time he would plunge into you, he would stay there for a beat longer, and make sure your previously ignored clit was getting the friction it needed, which made you whine even louder.
His breaths were so heavy, spitting out ‘Fuck’, and ‘Oh, shit’, and ‘So good’ every few seconds, letting his train of thought loose as he let himself go, and lost control of the pace.
One of his hands let go of your thigh, and it landed along your chin, forcing your head down to look into his eyes. “How does that feel, hm? So hard to move in you, so tight.” His voice was a broken mess, just breaths, essentially, but it was all you needed to spur you on. 
You simply nodded, knowing the words were nowhere close to coming out right now. Even if you tried, it would be a mess of moans and gasps. You could feel him so deep inside of you, hitting that point to split you open, your pussy was endlessly wet, enough to fuel a whole round or two, and he let you know.
On another thrust, he pushed himself in and sat there for a moment, your moans spilling out without reserve, you both tensed as the unmistakable sound of the creaking door was heard.
Leon took his right hand, free from holding you up, and laced it over your mouth, silencing any sounds of pleasure that you had left in you. 
You were both stiff, eyes wide, and he had his head swung in the direction of the noise. The footsteps approached the counter and turned the sink on. If they were to walk around the corner, they would see Leon’s legs under the door, and could have easily walked in, considering he didn’t shut it all the way, it was just stopped by his body behind it.
He slowly turned his head back to face you, you couldn’t move due to the weight of his hand, and you wanted to writhe under him so bad, feeling his cock throb still deep inside of you while you both were still. Tears were practically forming in your eyes.
He locked eyes with you, and without a sound, mouthed the words Be quiet.
He kept his hand clamped over your mouth, but he slowly adjusted your position so he could slide out of you at a snail’s pace. Your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting him to move, and you used all of your remaining energy to hold yourself together, being overcome by the pleasure while also staying conscious of the person who was still at the bathroom sink. You were glad there was still music playing outside in the bar, and the sink was still running, because if it were dead silent, they definitely would have been able to hear the wet sound of Leon pulling out, and fucking back in. 
He held eye contact with you while he continued to do this, holding you so tightly to make sure nothing made any noise,and a devilish grin broke out onto his face. He was enjoying every second of this. 
He was basically getting off on the idea of pushing you to your limit, forcing you to obey what he asked you to, even if it would benefit the both of you rather than just one. If Leon were shameless enough, he could have told them to fuck off, but instead, he held you here, silenced you, yet drove you to the fucking brink just to watch you fall apart. It made you want to cum right then and there.
After what felt like ten, twenty, thirty minutes (fifteen seconds), the sink shut off, a moment of silence, and the door creaked open again. Leon took his hand off your mouth and you both sighed deeply. While holding you still, Leon leaned back to look through the door to confirm you were alone once again.
“You were barely holding it together, I thought we were going to get caught.” He said on another thrust into you, bringing your faces closer once again. You swallowed hard, instinctively choking back moans now.
“Y-you… you were making it hard…” Gasps, again, as Leon was determined to make everything he asked of you difficult.
He brought himself closer into you, and spoke lowly. “Good,” With swift moves, his free hand was around your throat, holding your head back, and he was relentlessly bouncing you up and down on his cock.
The pressure around your throat and the pressure building in your core at his movements was all overwhelming, your hands were cutting crescents into his bicep from your nails, but he hardly took notice, he was so busy moving the both of you as well as keeping an eye on your face to watch how you were responding to his movements, he was too preoccupied.
The slick sounds coming from your pussy were evidence that the situation was much more of a stimulant than you ever expected, and the sound alone brought you so close to the edge.
“I bet you loved almost getting caught.” He groaned out, his movements stuttering, and you knew he must be close as well. “I bet it was driving you crazy, having to shut up while I gave it to you. You took it so well.” Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head, mouth open, you wouldn’t even be surprised if you were drooling at this point, Leon had all the power now.
“Leon,” You whispered, no energy for your full voice anymore. He understood.
“Take it, baby.” He thrust harder and harder, pressing you flat against the wall, the tip of his cock hitting all the deepest points. “I’m almost there, you feel so good.”
“Fuck, Leon,” If you could grasp any harder against his arms, you just did. “Fuck, I’m so close.”
“You got it, come on, cum for me.” He pressed his forehead into yours, grinding into you on the inward thrusts, making you fall apart in his arms. A few more thrusts, grinding a few more times, and a squeeze to your throat had you gasping in a silent scream around him, panting wildly letting your orgasm loose. 
He fucked you all the way through it. “Shit, that felt so good, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” You watched him as he chased his own, sweat beads dripping down his face, his hair coated in it. His hips stuttered one more time, and as he released his seed into you, he buried his face into your neck, whimpering and biting again. 
He pulled out of you, and it wasn’t missed by either of you the way his cum dripped out of you and onto the floor. You cracked a small smile when you heard him breathe a laugh.
“I’m sure that’s not the first time this bathroom has seen that.” He looked back up at you, breathing heavily, arms shaking from holding you up. You tapped his arms, hoping your legs were strong enough to stand on your own. He lowered you slowly, making sure you were stable before letting you go.
“I hope that’s what you wanted. I might have gotten ahead of myself.” He was still standing in front of you, neither of you made moves to leave the stall. You leaned against the wall for support.
“I would have stopped you a long time ago if it wasn’t, Leon.” He smiled down at you, breaths steadying out. He nodded his head.
“Coming to the house any time soon?”
You laughed out loud this time. “I’m sleeping over this weekend.” 
He smiled wider at the sound of your laugh. He leaned in and kissed you again. “Can’t wait.”
2K notes · View notes
asharasasylum · 2 months ago
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A Heavy Hand
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authors note: this is another fic i've manage to find from my old blog and edited for a repost. my first dark rafe fic so i hope you all like. warnings: non con. dub con. step-cest. degrading. smut. 18+
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Rafe's hand on your thigh was heavy, impossible to get off no matter how many times you had tried. It wasn’t like you could make a scene at the dinner table with so many people around, Rafe would only find a way to weasel himself in a lie to your parents. 
Normally they would believe you over him but lately you had been acting up, hanging out with the wrong crowd of people and Rafe had been the one to rat you out to your parents.
After everything with Sarah, your mother was livid to find out you had been hanging around the cut. But your step dad, it had cut his already open wound deep to think he could have another daughter that would abandon him in his time of need. You were house bound until they knew they could trust you again, making Rafe the main person to watch over you. 
He seemed to be awfully happy about that. His lips had twisted into a smirk when your parents turned their backs away. The same one that adorned his face now as his hand shifted a little higher up your bare thigh.
You had to clamp your thighs together, crossing your legs over to make sure Rafe couldn't go any further. With that the smile dropped from his face, his face turning to you now with an uneasy stare. He didn't seem upset, no his expression seemed like he was challenging you as he leaned in closer.
"I'm going to need that hand back if I'm going to eat," Rafe whispered, raising his eyebrows at you.
There was no arguing that so with a slight bit of hesitation you unwrapped your legs, giving him the room to move his hand away. But of course you shouldn't of trusted Rafe because the second he had space, his hand slipped higher, pinky finger grazing the fabric of your underwear.
"Rafe," you yelped, thighs clamping down again.
"Y/N," Ward called across the table, looking over to the pair of you. His tone was stern and his glare was heavy as if he was warning you to not to act out of line again.
"We were just messing around," Rafe was quick to reply, playing the best older brother. One you had never seen in your years of growing up around him. "It was my fault, Dad." 
Ward brushed it off, nodding his head and turning back to his guests.
"That didn't go well for you," Rafe's voice was low as he spoke against the shell of your ear. "Going to have to start behaving a bit better if you want them to trust you again."
"Go to hell," you hissed at him, digging your nails into the flesh of his hand, hoping to pry it away.
All you did was make it worse for yourself, hoping by parting your legs slightly you would be able to force his hand away but instead he used it to his advantage. His hand cupped your covered pussy, rubbing his fingers over the material for a second, before finally pulling away. But the second was long enough to see the way your lips parted in gasp at the invasive touch. 
It was also enough for that smirk to be plastered on Rafe's face all over again. As if he had won some sort of game, that you didn't realise you had been playing.
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"Aren't you happy to have a little bit of freedom?"
"It's not really freedom when I'll be hovering around you and your dick head friends all night," you retorted, rolling your eyes.
Rafe was amused by your response, it seemed he was amused by everything you did these days. The sort of amusement he derived from having some sort of control over you and your life.
You wanted to be anywhere but in his truck driving to the beach with him. But Rafe had somehow convinced Ward that under his supervision you would be fine out and about. He'd make sure not to let you out of his sight, he had swore to that.
"Fresh air, the ocean, drinks," Rafe listed, tapping on the steering wheel. "Isn't that what the sort of things Pogues like?"
"I'm pretty sure everyone from Outerbanks likes those things, Rafe," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. "It’s just I don't think some enjoy it so much when they’re being monitored by their older brother who they don't get along with."
"Step-brother," Rafe was quick to snap, tone icy as he glared at the road ahead.
"Your dad is married to my mum so legally we are siblings," your voice picked up, finally ready to let your weeks worth of rage out on him. "Step siblings or not it doesn't give you the right to touch me the way you have."
"Acting like you don't like it," Rafe sneered under his breath, gripping the steering wheel tighter.
You barely heard him and as much as you were gearing yourself up to yell at him some more, to get him to repeat what he had just said, he was quick to cut you off.
"No running off today," Rafe barked at you with a pointed finger like you were some dog. "In my line of sight at all times. A Pogue even looks in your direction and you come stand by me. Understand?"
You didn't even dignify him with a response, rolling your eyes once again.
But Rafe wasn't here for your attitude and he made that clear by pinching your cheeks with his hand and twisting your face towards him. "Understand?"
"Yeah," you nodded, voice faltering at his stern tone. "Whatever."
Rafe took a second before letting your face go, holding you in place for a moment as he took in the sight of your body. You felt a cool shiver across your body at the way Rafe checked you out, his jaw clenching once it reached where your skirt cut off at your thighs.
"Pretty thing," Rafe commented, not giving you a moment to respond as he hopped out his truck.
You hated the way he called you that as if you were some sort of play thing he already had in his pocket. But more importantly you hated the way it made you feel, heat flooding your body at the words.
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At all times of the night there were eyes on you, if they weren't Rafe's eyes, they were Topper's or Kelce's. You were sure he had told them of your rendezvous with the other side of the island, making it clear you were to be watched at all times.
It was no use anyway with Rafe so close no Pogue dared to step within a hundred metre radius of your spot. Which you hadn't really minded anyway, spending most of the time drinking with a few friends you had gone to school with.
The party even seemed enjoyable for most of the night, everything going smoothly even with Rafe's eyes staring daggers into your back. Until you broke his rules, slipping away for a second to get a refill on your drink.
You hadn't really been thinking when you tried to search down another keg, not even realising that you had slipped away from Rafe and his friends when you finally found one still in use. No you didn't realise until a familiar warm smile came into sight, arms wrapping around you without even giving you a chance to register they were there.
"I've missed you so much," Sarah gleamed, pulling you tight into her chest. "I didn't know when I would see you again."
You reciprocated the hug, glad to see your sister after a few weeks of no contact. Happy to know that she was still doing somewhat alright.
"I've missed you too," you replied, finally letting go over each other.
"Why haven't I seen you in ages?" Sarah asked, genuinely concerned as her eyes widened at you.
"I'm house bound mostly," you told her, frowning at the subject. "Courtesy of Rafe." It was only then did you realise you had stumbled away from him, eyes darting round not able to see him anywhere. "Fuck."
"Hey, you know you really should be careful around Rafe," Sarah's voice was shaken, fearful as she spoke. "He's dangerous."
"He's psychotic, I'll give him that," you laughed, not bothering to look around for him anymore. "And I sure bet he's going to have a field day when he finds me here."
"No, seriously Y/N.” Sarah's hand grips onto your wrist harshly, bringing your attention back to her. "You shouldn't be anywhere near him."
"You sound crazy, Sarah," you told her, eyebrows furrowing at her fearful state. "What happened?"
There wasn't enough time to answer when the rest of her friends showed up behind her. They gave you a small smile but John B was quick to place his hand out for Sarah to take.
"Let's go," he said, pulling her away.
"Well bye then," you waved her off, scoffing at the way they all just walked away.
An uneasiness settled in your stomach as you made your way back to where Rafe might still be, your drink long forgotten once you finally reached him.
You didn't know how to read Rafe when he found you, his body tense once he reached you. But there was a cool demeanour about him, a sort of façade you were sure he was putting up as he stood before you. 
"Truck, now," he snapped, placing a hand on the small of your back as he guided you through the crowd.
You didn't even know what to prepare yourself for when you got back to the car, but when you were out of sight of the crowd you weren't surprised when Rafe gripped onto your arm to drag you back to the truck.
"You really can't follow simple rules.” Rafe's tone was something you never had heard before and at first you really couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. "Have to wander off to go find some Pogue to open your legs for? I bet you love being a little slut for them, huh?"
"I am not a slut," you yelled at him, slapping against his chest with your hand. "It wasn't even like that."
"Tell me exactly what it was like. Tell me how it took you like three drinks to go in search for some attention like the whore you are." Rafe gripped onto you harder, as if the thought of it was making him angrier. "I bet that's all you need some dick and some attention, then you won't go crawling back to your beloved Pogues."
"It isn't like that," you screamed, feeling yourself become choked up from the comments he was making. You didn't even know why you felt such a need to defend yourself against him.
It was only as his icy blue gaze fell on you that you finally pinpointed the reason behind the venom that he was spitting from his mouth. It was jealousy, the thought of you being with someone else but not just anyone, a Pogue. At first you thought his attempts at groping you inappropriately or looking at you in certain ways was just another way to amuse himself by winding you up. But no, he really wanted you. And his next actions proved it even further.
"Get in," Rafe commanded, throwing the back car door open and shoving you inside.
You didn't even protest against him, scattering to the other side of the seats. You hadn't even thought why he had placed you in the back, not even questioned it until his hands started to unbutton his shorts in front of you.
He couldn't really be doing what you thought he was doing, there was no way. You were still parked up by the beach, away from the crowd but anyone could still walk or drive up beside you.
"What are you doing?" You asked, face completely dropping when he started to climb in beside you.
"Seeing as Dad and Rose's punishment clearly isn't working, I think it's time for me to make my own," Rafe seemed so sure about the words that fell out of his mouth, closing the door behind him. "Maybe then you'll listen."
"Rafe, you're joking right?" You were still in disbelief, bringing your knees up to your chest to shield yourself away from him. "You got your message across, okay? I won't go anywhere near the cut again."
"Those words are like sweet music to my ear," Rafe grinned from ear to ear, yanking you down by your foot. He pinned you down to the back seats, body hovering over you as he pulled his t-shirt off. "But I need you to mean them and right now I don't think you really mean them."
"This is too far even for you." Tears brimmed your eyes as you looked up at him, shaking your head for him to stop.
"Too far," Rafe scrunched his face up as if contemplating the idea in his head. "I think this punishment is perfectly acceptable." He leaned down, holding your hands above your head with one hand. "I think someone needs to fuck the traitorous brat out of you. Give you the attention you seem to fucking need so badly."
"Rafe-"
Your protest was swallowed with his lips on yours, in a hungry kiss. He nibbled at your lips when you didn't kiss back or open your mouth for him and when that didn't seem to work, he bit onto your bottom lip hard, making you yelp and open your mouth for him.
He had drawn blood, you could taste it when his tongue slipped into your mouth and you think the whole thing seemed to turn him on even more as he pressed up against you. 
You felt slightly docile after he was done kissing you, too busy trying to regain your breath to fight off his next move.
"Pretty thing," he seemed to admire you from above, slipping his free hand across your body. It grazed your subtle skin, fingers dancing around the edges of your clothes, taking a second before slipping your bikini top off with ease. "Fuck so pretty."
He was in a trance at the sight of your tits, admiring the way your nipples had pebbled. It shouldn't have been a shock to you when his mouth latched onto one of them but you couldn't help but yelp as you felt his wet tongue lick at your nipple. You even had to fight back a sigh at the feeling, grinding your teeth together to keep any noises of pleasure at bay.
Once you got your breath back you were able to speak again but when you opened your lips, the noise that slipped out worked against you as Rafe grinded his hips against yours, eliciting a small whimper from you.
"That's my good girl," Rafe spoke into the skin of your breasts.
"Rafe, stop this isn't right," you told him, trying to wriggle free. All you did was rub against him, enticing him even more. "We can't do this."
All that Rafe did was laugh at you, grinding slightly harder into you as he marked up your chest. Once he seemed satisfied he lifted himself up slightly, enough for you to sit up and try to slip away from him but Rafe had other plans. With one hand he shoved you back against the seats with ease, then in one swift movement he tore your panties off of your legs, throwing them onto the floor somewhere.
Then he was on top of you again, his body heavy on yours as he made himself comfortable between your legs. Your attempts to push him and slap at him did nothing to throw him off, it only seemed to egg him on as his hands pulled his shorts and boxers down.
"Rafe, please," you were crying, tears streaming down your face.
Rafe ignored your pleas as he wrapped his hand around his cock, giving it a few strokes before he lined himself up. He hissed at the wetness that met the tip of his dick, spreading it across your folds as he started down at it in complete awe.
"Fuck, you're so wet baby," Rafe cooed into your ear, flicking over your clit so gently with his dick.
You couldn't stop the whimper that fell from your lips or any of the other noises when Rafe finally slid into your walls. There was no fight in you left after that, your hands grabbed onto his shoulders for stability instead of slapping him away. Your lips fell open to let out soft moans instead of pleas for him to get away.
Rafe grinned in triumphant at how easily you succumbed to him. He made sure to bury himself deep inside of you with each slow thrust, his tip brushing a part of you that you didn't know anyone would ever be able to reach. With every thrust he had your walls clenching around him, dripping like they never had before.
You wanted to say something, to tell him this wasn't right and hold your ground a bit more but you couldn't. With every roll of his hips he had you panting and whining, mind becoming fogged as you became cock drunk from it. And you could tell he was loving every second of it.
It was in the way he drank in your vulnerability with his eyes, finding himself going faster so you could cling onto him just that tiny bit more. His eyes were so dilated you could barely see the blue, it was all too clouded by the darkness that was Rafe. He winked when he noticed you looking up at him, taking it as a sign to get closer to you as he pressed his forehead against yours.
There was an intimacy in this that you weren't expecting from Rafe, in his stares and the way he sometimes brushed his lips against yours. It was confusing, something you really couldn't think about in the moment but you were grateful for it. Grateful that he wasn't being completely cruel.
"Rafe," you were breathless as he pushed a stray hair of yours behind your ear.
"You're so perfect when you're just like this," Rafe groaned, taking your legs from the side of him. He pushed them down and in between the pair of you, having your ankles dangling by your head. With this angle he was reaching in deeper, making your eyes roll back at the feeling. "So at peace beneath me."
"Rafe,” you choked.
A hand of yours reached out to push him away, finding it over stimulating as he pushed into you with no mercy. He could see you opening your lips again and not knowing if he would like what was about to come out, he shut you up the best way he knew how. As he rolled his hips into you, hard and set a brutal pace that had your nails digging into biceps for stability.
"Wait- uh," everything that left your mouth from there was incoherent to both of you, even his name wasn't pronounced properly as he fucked his rage into you.
You couldn't even help the way you were soaking him, walls sucking him in and squeezing him to keep him there. He could sense how close you were with your eyes fluttering shut and your thighs shaking. He wanted to push you there, to watch the way your face contoured as he pushed you over the edge.
But you were closing your eyes and he couldn't have that. His hand wrapping around your throat making your eyes spring open, bringing your attention back to him and grounding you a bit.
"Eyes on me princess," Rafe let out in a growl, squeezing his hand in a slight warning. "Got it?"
Eagerly you nodded even though your vision grew blurry with each second.
"You going to cum for me?" Rafe asked and you were honestly surprised how he could be so focused on you. With the way you were feeling, you could barely focus on anything.
"Yes," you managed to get out, feeling your cunt start to twitch around him.
You felt your face flush with embarrassment at the noises you made when you finally came, pussy fluttering around him. Your back arched up into him and you struggled to keep your eyes open. But you managed and you could tell Rafe was thankful, especially with the way his mouth hung open at your expressions.
He wasn't far behind, unable to hold back with the way your pussy clamped down on him, milking him of all his cum. He didn't even bother to pull out, painting your walls instead with every drop of cum he could get out. His pace grew sloppy, finally coming down giving you space to breathe as he collapsed on top of you.
It took you some time to get back to reality and Rafe sensed it as soon as your body tensed underneath him.
"We shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have done that," you told him, voice still shaky. "This has really gone too far."
Rafe snorted at that, pressing a peck on your neck before resting his head against yours.
"I think I should tell dad." You didn't know what had come over you in that moment, his dick was still buried in you and you knew that nothing could make you muster up courage to ever speak this to your step dad.
"He wouldn't believe you," Rafe chuckled darkly, a venom in his tone that you knew so well. "I think he'll take my word when I tell him you were just slutting it out for some stupid Pogue."
"You're awful."
"Anyway you wouldn't want to tell dad. Not when you want me to fuck you just like that again."
Rafe finally moved, sitting up from his position to look around for his clothes. You noticed the mess you had made all over him, your wetness coating him, even dripping onto the seats below. You were mortified at the sight of it and how badly you wanted to do it again.
As if he could feel you staring at him, Rafe turned to look at you. A smug smile over his lips at the sight of you cowering in the corner of his truck.
"So, round two here or back at the house."
"Fuck you."
With that Rafe's hand was tugging at your hair, yanking you towards him until you positioned yourself in his lap. He didn't care how you yelled at the pain, only cared about the way his cock was springing to life once again.
"That's not a nice way to talk to your older brother," He tutted, releasing his grip on your hair.
"You're so messed up."
"Does that make you messed up too?" Rafe pushed his tip along your folds again and you couldn't help but wince at the sensitivity of it. "Seeing the way you just came on my cock."
All you could do was whine in response as he guided your hips down on his length. You knew it shouldn't be happening again but you knew there was no way you were going to stop him.
"And I really want to see you cum again."
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(Dividers by @cafekitsune and @k1ssyoursister)
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246 notes · View notes
talaok · 2 years ago
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At the Met
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Pairing: Pedro Pascal x actress! reader
summary: You and Pedro, Hollywood's hottest couple, attend the Met Gala together, but when you find out your ex was invited too, things start going sideways.
warning: angst, jealousy, age-gap
a/n: this was a request by the lovely @vawnila but since I am delusional, I decided to merge it with yesterday's event bc this man...
Pt. 2
[ "And here they come! y/n y/l/n and Pedro Pascal, Hollywood's hottest couple!"
"wow, they look amazing" ]
You'd been to the Met before, and so had Pedro, but going as a couple was something much different, especially with all the talk you two had caused in the last six months. There wasn't a magazine or a blog that wasn't talking about your age gap or the way you'd both robbed millions of women and men of the chance to be with Hollywood's most desired bachelor and bachelorette.
The past few months had been a mess, and still, you didn't think you'd ever had that much fun.
Pedro was everything you had ever wished for in a man. he was kind and sweet and funny, and not any less handsome, he was perfect.
So when he took your hands in his as you walked up the carpet, you couldn't help but smile up at him, just for him to meet your glance with the same adoration.
The carpet was the easy part though, what actually scared you, was the dinner.
Being seated next to a bunch of celebrities you didn't know... that was your personal version of hell, but at least this year Pedro was gonna be next to you.
The first part of the dinner went well, the first moments were awkward as you had expected, but then the woman sitting opposite you broke the ice and everyone seemed to relax.
Pedro sensed your tension at times and tried to soothe you by placing his hand on your thigh, or murmuring something to your ear that most times resembled something like "We're almost done, sweetheart".
It was a good table, don't get me wrong, but there was something about knowing you were being watched and filmed and photographed by the world's most popular celebrities that always prevented you from fully calming down.
You were always on edge, only waiting for something bad to happen, until finally, your fear came to life.
You had excused yourself to go to the bathroom and were finding your way through the maze made of chairs and tables arranged in the room, when you felt a tap on your shoulder.
"Hey baby"
wait a minute,
you knew that voice.
You turned around, "Hi Nathan"
Of course you'd meet your ex here.
"Funny meeting you here" he grinned
"I had no idea you were coming"
"Neither did I about you, darling," he said, his eyes traveling up and down your body, not even pretending to not be checking you out "You're beautiful as ever" he complimented, his fingers tracing the side of your dress, and you just smiled, rolling your eyes playfully "really" he spoke, his voice lower "You're breathtaking, baby"
"thank you" You felt your cheeks get some involuntary color "You're not so bad yourself, you know?"
"why thank you" he joked "I wanted to find someone to have some fun with, but I think I might just have"
"Nathan..."
"What princess?"
You sighed "You can use my name y'know?"
"oh I know" he reassured "I just know how much you like when I call you names" he murmured, getting closer as he moved some hair away from your face "especially on some occasions"
"Nathan what are you d-"
"c'mon y/n you know what you mean to me," he said, his voice already resembling a beg "I'm not asking for anything, I'm just saying you know we could have fun... like the old times"
"Nathan I-"
"y/n I love you" he confessed, not for the first time since the breakup "You know I love you. I love you so much I can't live without you. This past year has been hell, and I know it's been the same for you. I need you y/n, and you need me, baby, we need each other." he spoke seemingly without taking a single breath, and you were frantically looking around you, praying no one was paying you two any mind "and I know you love me back, just admit it, we could start all over again, just forget all about the past" he implored.
"Nathan I have a boyfriend" you spat out
"who, that grandpa?" he mocked "I know you don't love him, he's just a-a phase, you know you should be with me. Deep down you know" 
You hadn't noticed how his hand had made its way to your arm.
"Let's go now, we can take my car and run away baby"
Your mouth gaped open but before you could speak, a barking voice intervened.
"go where?"
Your eyes traveled to your left, and just as you suspected, they met Pedro's.
Nathan, like the coward that he was, swallowed nervously as he looked back at you.
"nowhere," you said "Don't worry babe" you tried being casual, as you took a step toward your boyfriend, feeling grateful for a way out of that situation "Well it was nice seeing you Nathan, but I better go now," you forced a polite smile at him, as you intertwined your arm with your boyfriend's.
"goodbye buddy," Pedro said, in a more than slightly threatening tone.
"c'mon," you urged him, starting to walk away.
"think about what I said" Nathan spoke again, his tone deprived of all bravery all of a sudden.
You didn't even look back, just started to quicken your pace towards the table (Your need to use the bathroom had been long forgotten) when you felt Pedro tightening his arm's grip as he moved you into the trajectory of a private part of the gallery.
You frowned, once he stopped, looking around at the empty room.
"what is it?"
"What is it?" he repeated, clearly incredulous
"What?"
"What did he tell you?"
"Who"
"y/n..."
"Nathan?" you asked "Babe who cares, you know how he is, he's dumb, there's nothing I can do about it"
"tell me what he told you" you could see perfectly through this calm act.
You sighed "he told me he loves me and that I should run away with him"
"that's it?"
"Yes Pedro, that's it"
"What did you say?"
You gasped, offended and slightly annoyed "What do you think I told him, that I loved him back and to wait for me outside?!"
"What did you tell him?"
"Are you fuckin- I told him that I have a boyfriend"
He nodded perhaps satisfied "He was touching you"
"my arm" you reminded him.
"and your cheek" he reminded you too "this is the last time he does this" he decided "I'm gonna go talk to him"
"No, Pedro-" you grabbed his arm "I can deal with this on my own, plus, you're too mad, you can't go now"
"You've already dealt with this on your own, and it doesn't seem like you've made much progress"
You gasped, now actually mad "This is my problem, Pedro, you don't have anything to do with it"
"It's my problem too when it involves you"
"no, it's not."
"y/n I'm trying to help you"
"well I don't want your help, not with this"
"Why? 'cause it sure looks like you need it"
You scowled at him "fuck you"
"It's the truth y/n this guy's been bothering you since before we got together, that's not fucking normal"
"I know it isn't but I'm dealing with it in my own way"
"and I can't try my way?"
"well, I'm sorry if I don't want you to go out there and punch him, Pedro!" 
He paused, clearly as a part of him wanted to reply that he wouldn't have, another part informed him that there was a high probability he would have, in fact, punched the guy.
"y/n-"
"no you know what, I'm tired of this- this thing you do. I don't need to be saved, I can take care of myself"
"I don't doubt that, but I just wanted to help"
"you know you were not gonna help Pedro" You shot him a look "And I'm tired of this- jealousy" you sighed "I love you, Pedro, you know that, but if you don't trust me I don't understand how we could possibly have a relationship"
"I do trust you"
"then I could go out there and talk to Nathan right now?" you challenged "or you fear he might convince me, and I might run away with him?"
His jaw twitched.
"see" you breathed "just as I predicted"
" y/n-"he tried putting his hands on your waist but you stopped him.
"no, Pedro" you took a step back "Just-" you sighed "I need to be alone"
[ "Someone's coming out, it looks like... Pedro Pascal has just left the Gala"
"Where's the missus?"
"I don't see her"
"well you heard it here first folks, It looks like Pedro Pascal has just left the Met Gala with y/n y/l/n nowhere in sight" ]
Pt. 2
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