#i just need to express this because it's really important to me. and i have a new mantra because of this incident and sevral others previou

[thaatdigitaldiary]

whatever you want

paige bueckers x fem reader

fluff & flirtation per usual

you were never one to be spoiled growing up, having to wait to buy things simply cause you couldn’t afford it, that was until your girlfriend came along, who can’t help but spoil the SHIT outta you.

enjoy babes 🙂‍↕️

growing up, you never really bought things for yourself, you bought things for school, things to eat, necessities. you were brought up to buy things you needed, wants weren't important. sure, you bought things for yourself, but you couldn't help the mentality you had, it was all you were use to. obviously you couldn't get away with getting nothing you wanted when you were around your college athlete of a girlfriend, who wanted to spoil you rotten.

you and paige started dating around two years ago, you transferred to uconn from your previous college, wanting more academic opportunities that weren't provided at your old school. you were new around, and paige saw that, and immediately befriended you. it started from friends, to seeing each other every other day to everyday, and paige popped the question, and finally asked you on a date.

she took you to a fancy restaurant, you tried your best to dress fancy, not expecting such an extravagant place, considering your past dates never went this hard for you. everything on the menu was so expensive, and you didn't plan on spending too much money tonight, so you ordered something small.

"yeah i'll have the small plate of alfredo, if that's okay." you ask the server, and he nods as a response.

"you sure you want the small, you told me you haven't eaten all day?" she asks you with genuine concern, hoping you would want more since you didn't eat anything until tonight.

"paige, these menu items are pricey for me, i'm sorry. i just paid rent and bills have been tight-"

"who said anything about you paying?" she raises her eyebrow at you, laughing and asking the server to get you the normal portion of what you ordered, instead of the small.

"shit, don't even know why you brought money with you honestly, you know i got you ma." she says, looking at you and smirking.

"i just didn't wanna assume p, i didn't know you'd go this hard for me. i'm not used to fancy environments, if you get what i'm saying." you express to her, kind of sad in a way, as you two are in totally different worlds financially.

"hey, one thing about us is when it comes to anything you want, I'M gonna buy it, and you can't stop me." she tells you, looking intently in your eyes, wanting to buy the world for you if she could.

your eyes soften at paige's words, knowing this was something to get use to, you weren't mad at it. maybe it was good to have something nice every now and then.

after this date, everything between you and paige go exceptionally well. you're learning that your girlfriend really doesn't give up on spoiling you, more and more nil money coming through, disregarding your say and buying things for you anyways. gifts, jewelry, and the most over the top "just because" presents from her; and don't get her started on the holidays.

when you lovebirds finally hit your two year anniversary, paige was eager to get you out of your shared apartment. asking you to run errands for her, even though you planned on doing so already. little did you know, her and the team were setting up something special for you. you wanted to get something special for her, saving your money to get you and her matching sparkling silver necklaces, her's being a thicker chain and yours thinner and dainty, each having your names on them, you'd wear the one with paiges' name, and she wore yours. you bought a cute gift bag for them, but that wasn't your only stop. you stopped by crumbl and bought cookies for her, the nike store to purchase new basketball shoes for her, as well as buying her a bouquet of flowers, wrapped in purple paper.

but that wasn't it.

you had been searching the internet for a promise ring. one that fit paige's personality and vibe, and found the perfect one. a beautiful silver band, with the words "i love you" engraved in the inside. it was perfect. "i can spoil my girlfriend sometimes too", you thought to yourself.

a good 3 hours pass by the time you got home, hands full of gifts for her to open, stacked so high in your hands you could barely see the door. you set them down to grab your keys, then you slowly pick everything back up. the lights are off, weirdly enough, since you could've sworn you left them on before paige asked you to "run errands".

you set everything on the table near the front door, going to turn the light on, when suddenly everyone pops out of their hiding places yelling "surprise!" making you jump suddenly, then immediately bursting into laughter, tears slowly forming when you realized the set up in front of you. there were balloons stating "happy anniversary" plastered on the wall, the whole house decorated in beautiful colors, and multiple gift baskets sitting on the coffee table.

"happy anniversary ma." paige says to you sweetly, tearing up herself and kissing you, then quickly holding you close.

"p, i can't believe you did all this for me," you say in between giggles and tears.

"oh this is nothing, open them gifts for me ma." she tells you, handing you one of the smaller ones first, being a pandora bag. you take the pink paper out of the bag, and see three boxes. inside is a bracelet, already decked out in charms, as well as two other boxes. in these boxes were seperate charms, saying things like "i love you" and "always and forever" engraved in the silver accessories. she helps you put it on, your arm clinking from the sound of the charms hitting one another.

"okay this one you'll love. and don't ask me how much it was, thank you very much." she says sassily, and you can't help but smile and rolling your eyes, knowing that as many times as you've asked how much things cost, she wouldn't tell you. you slowly unwrap the box, seeing the words "van cleef" printed on the front.

"no you didn't." you say sternly.

"but i did baby." she says shrugging her shoulders and laughing.

inside was an all silver van cleef chain bracelet, the clovers reflecting under the light, giving your wrist an extra shine. you look at paige softly, the look of pure love in your eyes, wondering how you got so lucky with someone like her. fuck the money, you wanted to be in paige's life forever, regardless of how much she had.

after you put your bracelet on, you hug her tightly, then walk towards the gifts you bought her earlier. the first thing you hand her are the beautiful hand picked flowers, she blushes at the thought of you buying them for her, and kisses you on the cheek. you set the crumbl cookies on the table, and pass her the nike box.

"oh shit y/n! you remembered i wanted these?" referring to the conversation you two had a couple days ago, as she rambled about basketball and some new basketball shoes she wanted.

"i remember everything baby, and you're not done, there's a couple more things," you say while grabbing the bag the necklaces came in, as well as the box with her promise ring inside.

she takes the necklaces out of the bag, and tilts her head with a smile so hard, it makes her eyes close.

"finna be repping you all day everyday huh ma?" she says flirtatiously, and you respond by smirking back at her.

"i know that's right," you say reciprocating her energy, something she loved about you.

she puts hers on, and assists you with yours since you just got your nails done, and can't seem to manage with them at the moment.

"wait baby, there was one more thing, it's inna room, i'll be right back." she tells you, walking away into your bedroom.

she comes back out excited, and she shares a suggestion,

"why don't we exchange them at the same time nd open em together?" she asks, and you agree.

she hands you the box, and you do the same. and on the count of 3 you open at the same time.

"three.."

"two..."

"one... open"

you both gasp and look at each other quickly, realizing you bought the same gift for each other, but different in it's own way. the ring you bought paige was the same as yours, just a band to fit her style more. yours had a beautiful teardrop diamond, with the same words "i love you" engraved in the inside.

"wow ma, you know me real well huh?" she says while putting her ring on, whistling at the fresh silver, almost able to see her reflection. you put yours on, the diamond sparkling anytime you slightly moved your hand.

paige looks at you, and you look at paige.

"happy anniversary mama."

"happy anniversary baby." you say, still so shook that she did all this for you.

"i been told you, it's whatever you want ma, i always got you."

————————————————————————————-

HELLO TO THE BAD BITCHESSSS, i know this isn’t a part two of open your eyes but that is inna works (and almost done) so i wanted to give you something while you waited! thank you guys for the support you bring and i love you dearly 🙂‍↕️(for p’s necklace think of the new “5 chain” she got that she wore to the seattle game if that helps 🤭)

tags: @rosemariiaa @bueckerscore @mrsarnold @patscorner @wbbgetsmewetter @juspeaks @ohbueckers 🫶🏽

[gods-perfect-idiots]

Okay bear with me folks, I have some ~thoughts~ about the Vanessa/Wade relationship (or frankly lack thereof) in Deadpool & Wolverine. I should start by saying that I am analyzing this with the (likely erroneous) assumption that everything on screen is 100% intentional and mindfully written to deepen the characters and inform their arcs. For the record, I don't necessarily believe that's true - there is certainly room for mistakes, lazy writing, confusing plot elements, or in this case, sidelining a potentially strong and important character for nebulous reasons (I'm guessing scheduling conflicts + run time concerns + actor's strike complications but idk for sure). (Also thanks to @gossippool and @kendyroy for encouraging me to post my thoughts instead of just rambling in the tags in the first place, y'all are the realest)

Long rambly post below the cut fyi

Now, granted, it has been a while since I watched the original Deadpool so I am not as well-versed in their early relationship as I am in the handful of scenes Morena Baccarin has in dp3, but I do think it is pretty canon that Wade generally struggles to express his deeper worries and feelings (without filtering it heavily through crude humor, sex, and pop culture references of course), especially after the events of dp1 and the physical and mental damage he sustains, and Vanessa is frankly no exception despite how much he cares for her. The entire first movie hinges on the fact that he doesn't really believe she could love him in his post-Francis mangled state, which is pretty contrived imo given that the film has established already how bonded they are, and she doesn't strike me as being written to be so shallow as to reject him based on a physical deformity. I mean iirc she wanted to stick around through chemo despite him being literally riddled with inoperable cancer, so she clearly is in it for the long haul (at least in dp1), messiness and all.

Now, in dp2, obviously she is shot and killed early in the film, and Wade spends much of the rest of the film wallowing in his very profound grief, trauma, and guilt over losing her due directly to his violent lifestyle. He goes to prison, he basically gives up on life and seems very resigned to dying once he has the power suppressant collar on, even excited to do so so he can be reunited with her. She is mostly sidelined as a Fuzzy Dead Wife trope basically, but the important thing here is that he spends weeks if not months in the throes of despair over losing the love of his life just as they were trying to start a family, and trying to reach across the boundaries of death to be with her.

Now, my first couple times watching dp3 I was frustrated by the trite narrative presented in the interview scene towards the beginning - specifically Wade's whole "my girl is getting tired of my shtick and I need to show her I matter". It felt contrived and disingenuous, and I just brushed it off as iffy writing, a means to an end, but the more I reflect upon it the more I think it is based in an emotional reality that is just handled with a very light touch by the film in favor of fanservice and Poolverine content (NOT that I'm complaining in the slightest - I think this movie is a masterpiece in many ways, albeit a flawed one but that's beside the point here), which for the record I am not against because I think it lends it an air of realism. This is Wade's story after all, Vanessa is a part of it but it is ultimately about him and his journey.

Basically, I think the combination of what happened to him in dp1 (the brain damage, the trauma, the awareness of the fourth wall, etc) followed by the events of dp2 (Vanessa's death, his grief and the associated guilt and trauma of being the direct cause of her death) led to an unbridgeable emotional gap between the two of them that ultimately leads to their breakup.

It's important to note that I don't think Vanessa has any recollection of her own death, given that Wade goes back and saves her before she can take the bullet, and so of course she can never fully fathom what Wade went through grieving her and their life together and their potential family, for however long he spent between her death and bringing her back with Cable's device. She can try (and she clearly does in the one scene I'll talk about next) but I fear she accepts, maybe even in that scene, that she can never succeed. He is beyond her reach by this point, and vice versa, his experiences having fundamentally changed him.

The one scene we really see from their relationship between dp2 and dp3 is the one where Cassandra mind-gropes Wade in the Void and we see Vanessa struggling to reach Wade across this aforementioned gap - she wants him to open up, she wants him to share what he's going through, she wants him to be the person she initially fell in love with (not even selfishly - to her nothing has changed really, because to her no time has passed). But not only does he not understand what she's really asking for but he responds in such a way that makes me think he has unprocessed issues that are only tangentially related to what she's saying - ie the stuff about mattering, about asking her if she even wants to be with him, etc. And he's not the Wade Wilson she met back in dp1 anymore. He watched her die and grieved her and brought her back, believing it would make everything go back to normal and they could resume their life together as if nothing had changed, but he has been fundamentally changed in a way that she can't grasp, even if he WAS good at externally processing his trauma openly without the artifice of wry jokes. She didn't "come back wrong" - instead, she came back exactly the same as before, but HE'S different now. Not wrong, per se. But changed.

It's an interesting scene because it's obviously a memory, and a crucial one at that, but you can see how Wade is misunderstanding what she's saying, viewing it through the prism of his own lack of self-worth and his own hopelessness - he takes away that she thinks he doesn't matter (even though like he says she didn't actually say that, but I don't think Cassandra invented that wholecloth - I think she pulled it out of his psyche because that's what he believes deep down, hence why his fixation on mattering even though she never said those words exactly), he takes away that she doesn't want to be with him, that she thinks he's nothing. Which would be frustrating as an audience member to witness as a pretty simple misunderstanding which could potentially be solved with one conversation, but it feels believable to me that these two people who have shared a great love would be fundamentally separated by unimaginable, cosmic trauma, and the on conversation they would need to have to rectify the misunderstanding is one that is impossible for Wade to verbalize and equally impossible for Vanessa to conceive of. It was one thing when they had shared trauma like violence and SA in dp1, but what Wade has gone through in dp1 and dp2, humor aside, is unfathomably traumatic, brain-breakingly so even, and that's not even factoring in the possible mental illnesses he now struggles with (I've seen folks suggest schizophrenia, DID, depression, etc. but I won't get into armchair diagnosing a fictional character here - suffice it to say he is canonically unwell as a result of what has happened to him, and yes it manifests as quirky fourth wall breaks and cheeky one-liners, but within the universe of the movies he is undeniably profoundly mentally ill, and that includes this humorous alter ego he created to cope with his trauma).

I think off-screen Vanessa probably really tried to reach him, maybe for years (the six year gap implies to me that they didn't break up immediately, that they tried for a while to stay together), trying to get her Wade back, but that Wade is gone. He struggled to express that to her until eventually he started to feel rejected because he couldn't express his trauma or how much he has changed, because even he can't fully conceive of the gulf that has formed between them. The truth is, he WANTS to be that Wade again, for her and for himself, but that Wade died when she died. Or maybe he had already started dying when Francis got a hold of him in dp1.

Anyway, all this is to say, I think Morena Baccarin WAS criminally underutilized in dp2 and dp3, but I think there is a strong argument to be made for the believability of their breakup regardless. I think even relationships built on enormous love can crumble due to trauma, and what Wade suffers over these movies is mind-bogglingly enormous trauma. It's especially heartbreaking that he blames himself for their relationship ending, talks like she just got tired of him, thought he didn't matter, whatever. But it is a credit to him that he never seems to feel anger towards her about it. He doesn't seem to feel entitled to her, though he longs for her and what they had and what she represented (hope, love, a future, a family), but ultimately she becomes more of a symbol of what he lost when he gained his powers, because let's be super fr right now - even if they had succeeded in having a baby, not only would they have lived in fear of her or the kid getting killed, but ultimately Wade would likely outlive both of them even if they managed to die natural deaths. The moment he gained his powers he was already destined to lose her, which is heartbreaking because she was the only reason he opted for the treatment in the first place - so he could stay with her.

I think a big part of Deadpool & Wolverine is watching Wade continue to process his own motivations (vis-a-vis Vanessa but also his other friends) and how he does eventually let go of the idea of "mattering" in favor of just saving the people he cares about (*cough* and being saved right back *cough* by Wolvie, as the final line and shot implies). And in the process he finds someone new who cares about him, who thinks he matters, who tries to sacrifice himself for him and his friends after mere days of knowing him, who comes home with him at the end of the story, who breaks his own centuries-old patterns, who has also experienced unimaginable grief and trauma, who has struggled with wanting to die and being unable to, who not only matches his crazy but matches his FREAK and also not only won't die on him but CAN'T die on him - and more importantly cannot be randomly killed by a stray bullet.

Idk if any of this makes much sense but I do think if you read between the lines and consider the potency of trauma and grief, guilt and emotional damage at play here, Vanessa and Wade's off-screen breakup is actually pretty realistic, and really heart-breaking to boot.

You can tell she still cares about him in so many ways - she shows up for his birthday party, she shows up to his welcome home party at the end, she finds excuses for physical contact multiple times, her eyes get soft when she looks at him, but there is a distance there that Morena Baccarin does an incredible job of portraying. She cares about him deeply, she has mourned the loss of their potential life together, she has let him go and accepted that the Wade she fell in love with is gone, but she wants him in her life even though she's moving on because she realizes he's gone somewhere she can't follow (literally and figuratively). And she wants him to be happy which is why I fully believe she would immediately clock the Poolverine of it all and not-so-subtly encourage them to make it official.

Anyway. Poolverine forever. Nothing against Vanessa at all - I think she delivers a nuanced and beautiful performance, I think their relationship is sweet and heart-wrenching in large part due to her acting chops, especially given how little she is given to work with - but I think their relationship was sadly doomed from almost the very start, because Wade becomes this traumatized superhuman and Vanessa would always be at risk in his orbit, but also would always on the outside of his multiverse superhero experiences. I think it's weirdly beautiful, even if I am filling in a lot of gaps and giving the writers maybe undue credit.

Anyway... thoughts? Please DM me or write in the tags, I am feral about this movie and just want to talk about it with anyone haha. If you have further insight into these characters too I'd love to hear it - I am by no means an expert in these movies or characters!

[chrissturnsfav]

𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒶 𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀 | 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰

you're at your boyfriend matt's house, trying to study for your finals tomorrow. however, matt has other plans—having not seen you in 5 days—and you can't help but let him distract you.

ᰔᩚ smut, oral (fem receiving), soft!dom matt, bf!matt, use of pet names (baby, pretty girl), fluff

ᰔᩚ w.c. 1,559

ᰔᩚ requested from @anonymous: just softdom!matt eating you out 🙁 (im extremely lonely)

you had studied an immense amount for the past 2 weeks. you studied in between all of your classes, studied in the morning before you left for classes, studied while eating—anything you were doing you were studying as you did it.

you finally were at matt's house—after not seeing him in about 5 days, but of course you had to study as you were with him—no matter how much you missed him and his touch.

you are currently sat in matt's bed. your legs are clutched up to your chest, your psychology notebook sitting in your lap. you intently read over the notes over and over and over again. matt is laid lazily next to you, one of your hands are intertwined with his as he rubs small circles on your palm with his thumb.

matt had been feening and yearning for you for every second of those past 5 days, and now he was growing impatient. it had only been about a half hour since your arrival, but he hadn't had a taste of you for what felt like forever. his eyes were on the tv screen, but he wasn't paying attention to gravity falls—all he could think about was wanting to give you a break.

so, he turns his head to you, watching your eyes scanning over the notes in your filled up notebook and he sighs. you didn't even realize the deep breath leaving his mouth because of how focused you were.

"baby..." matt groans, his head laying against the headrest.

his voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you move your gaze to meet his eyes. you look at him with a small smile, "yeah?"

"can't you just take a break for a little bit? i haven't seen you in so long..." matt says softly, a slight hint of lust in his eyes which you notice.

you bite the inside of your cheek. finals made you nervous every single year of college, and every year you would study for them like there was no tomorrow. it was bringing an immense feeling of exhaustion and stress on you, but you didn't care. all you cared about was making a good future for yourself.

you sigh, opening your mouth to respond to him, "i need to do good matt, especially in psychology...i need to have a good future. i'm doing this for the good of myself, but as soon as finals are over i'm all yours," you speak gently, reassuring matt, but it isn't enough.

matt frowns, groaning again slightly, "you've been doing this for the past 2 weeks baby, c'mon let me give you a break," he says, moving his hand that was intertwined with yours onto your knee.

you dart your eyes from his face to his hand on your knee, thinking about it. "i dunno matt..." you say reluctantly. "this is really important to me, y'know?" you say, looking back into his eyes with a soft expression.

matt nods understandingly, "i know. but you've had enough. at least for right now," he says, a smirk slowly growing on his lips and you think again, unsure of what to do.

of course, you miss him, but the voice in your head keeps yelling at you to push him away and keep studying—that this is all that matters right now, and once finals are over, you both can have all the fun you want.

you don't have enough time to respond, because he's slowly moving his body to hover over you, staring down at you and your doe eyes look back into his with slight unsureness.

matt moves a piece of hair falling over your face to the side before leaning next to your ear. "c'mon, take a break, lemme make you feel good," he whispers sensually, making you feel weak.

the voice in your head is now screaming at you to push him off, to keep studying—you need to ace this exam tomorrow.

but you ignore it.

matt's hands trail down to the waistband of your sweatpants, kneeling in between your legs as he tugs on the drawstring. his eyes move to look at yours with a smirk, to which you return slightly.

you sigh and move the notebook in your lap to the side, opening your legs slightly wider.

matt looks at you with a hint of shock in his expression, "oh, is mrs. straight a-student giving in to me? shocker," he chuckles out and you roll your eyes jokingly.

you watch him undo the tie you have the drawstring of your sweatpants in, sliding them off of your hips slowly.

he moves his head to fit between your legs, gripping your thighs gently as he begins to pepper small kisses on them. your eyes flutter closed, body tense with anticipation.

matt senses the tenseness in your frame and he smiles against your skin, looking at you. "relax, baby, gonna give you a real good break," he speaks gently as he draws small circles on your inner thigh.

you nod at his words, relaxing your body beneath him to which he chuckles at, his lips moving closer to your inner thigh. "that's my girl," he mutters.

matt begins to slowly slide your panties off of you, tossing them to the other side of the bed. he looks down at your glistening core, smirking at the sight as he pushes your knees wider gently.

"aw, that's cute," he jokes, looking at you and you giggle warmly. he licks his lips before moving his head back in between your thighs. he places a hand on your thigh wrapping your leg around his back and the other one sits on your knee.

your heart thumps with desire and anticipation excitedly. you watch matt lick a stripe through your warm folds and your body shivers at his actions. he smirks against your heat before speaking, "relaax baby, gonna make you feel real good, alright?" he says, looking up at you knowingly.

you nod, humming in response and relaxing your body against his bed. he moves his hand from your knee onto your bundle of nerves, his thumb rubbing circles gently, but quickly.

you let out a deep, soft moan, already beginning to fall apart and you only gasp louder when his tongue works against your wet pussy.

"mmm," matt hums into you, rubbing his thumb faster, "'s so good...always so good," he mutters before his tongue continues its actions.

you whine softly, head falling back against his pillow, but matt tuts and he moves his mouth off of you to look at you, "gotta look at me while i make you feel good, pretty girl."

you fix your gaze quickly, locking your eyes with his to which he smiles and nods, "good girl," he says softly before moving his lips back to your core. you moan softly as his actions quicken, his gaze never leaving your twisted face.

your hands move to tangle into his hair, eyes rolling back slightly at the pleasure. you moan deeply when matt suddenly inserts two fingers into your pussy, removing his thumb from your clit to replace it with his tongue.

his tongue swirls quick circles on your clit, fingers pumping in and out at a fast pace. he stares up at you in lust, watching your eyes roll back, your mouth falling open as the occasional moan leaves your lips.

"s-shit...matt...d-don't stop," you moan softly, hands pulling at his hair and he groans against you which sends vibration throughout your body and you whimper.

matt's tongue on your clit moves even quicker, fingers flicking inside of you hitting your g-spot and you moan deeply. "feel good, baby?" he asks against you sensually.

you nod eagerly, feeling a knot in your stomach begin to form which reminds you that you're going to cum soon. "y-yeah...fuck...o-oh, g-gonna cum!" you moan softly, loudly and matt smirks, his actions becoming impossibly faster.

"cum in my mouth, baby, can't wait to taste you..." he mumbles, anticipating your release.

your mouth falls fully open, vision blurry as you cum all over matt's lips, moaning loudly, "o-oh my god! y-yes...matt," you moan loudly, filling his room.

matt moans slightly at the taste of you, your cum filling his mouth. he watches as some of you drips onto his sheets, licking up every drop. he removes his fingers from inside of you, pulling his face up. he licks his lips, looking up at you with a smirk as he swallows.

he brings his two fingers covered in your cum up to your lips, his face inches away from yours as he hovers over you. "mmm, taste yourself, baby...taste so pretty."

you open your mouth slowly, eyes never leaving matt's and he gently puts his fingers in your mouth. you suck your remnants off his fingers, whining against them at the taste and he chuckles, "so sweet," he whispers.

matt connects your lips in a soft, gentle, loving kiss and you smile against his lips, kissing back passionately.

he pulls away and smiles at you warmly, kissing your cheek before crawling off you. he tosses your panties, sweatpants and notebook back to you before sitting back next to you.

"back to work, baby, gotta ace that final tomorrow, right?" he teases, smirking at you, watching as you're still trying to catch your breath.

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: i hope my matt girls loved this one! i'm actually really pleased with it hehe.

thank you for reading!! <3

@chrissturnsfav ™

[mesetacadre]

Depending on the individual biases of each marxist, people post the same truncated Marx quote on religion, either "Religion is the opiate of the masses" or "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature". But these two phrases are both part of the same paragraph and most seem to ignore this:

Religious distress is at the same time the expression of real distress and the protest against real distress. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, just as it is the spirit of a spiritless situation. It is the opium of the people. The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is required for their real happiness. The demand to give up the illusion about its condition is the demand to give up a condition which needs illusions. [Emphasis mine]

Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right, Karl Marx, 1843

And Marx's actual position on religion is expressed in the immediately following sentences. Marx acknowledges the role of religion in a an alienated society as a respite from that alienation, whilst also acting as a veil preventing the masses from seeing both the reality of their condition as well as the illusion that prevents them from this. And he does not condemn religion for this illusion, lest we forget his maxim: "Nothing human is alien to me". I don't think the over-repeated opium line really conveys any kind of condemnation, either, opium was and is a drug but it also used to have a really important role in medicine to prevent patients from feeling excessive pain, and there are modern medications which are opiates. "Opium" here is not just a synonym for "drug", Marx uses this noun specifically because of this role opium had. Recontextualizing it like this, "Religion is the opiate of the masses" reads less like a scathing own on the catholic church, and more a development of the previous idea: "[Religion is] the heart of a heartless world".

[lesbianmarrow]

augh. rewatched btvs 5x22 scene where spike & buffy go to buffy's house to get weapons before the big showdown. them having to retrieve weapons is such an amusingly flimsy excuse to have them go to her house so we can have the scene where she invites him in + he promises to protect dawn + "i know you'll never love me" speech. i love a paper-thin excuse to put 2 characters in a room together. especially when those characters are buffy and spike!!!!!!!!!!!!

it really is so striking the way spike refrains from asking buffy to let him in even though he would be perfectly justified in doing so as it's obvious that buffy has forgotten he's not allowed in. i think part of it is that he wants to make it clear that he will respect the boundaries she has set with him. but i also think part of it is that he doesn't wanna feel the pain of being rejected again, because that fucking hurt. if he doesn't ask then he doesn't have to hear her say no again. it shows how head over heels he is for her and how much he has changed since the beginning of the season, when he was challenging her boundaries so much.

spike's expression when he's walking thru the doorway......it's so endearing and some really great acting from james marsters. first surprise and disbelief, then glee which spike is trying very hard to restrain because these are grave times. and yet he can't help feeling so joyous that buffy trusts him. he glances as the doorway like he's thinking "ah yes what a nice house" which makes me laugh because it's so stupid but also sweet. i think it's him trying to play it cool and doing a not so good job of it. there's such a lightness to him - it reminds me of the feeling when you think you did something to upset your friend a few days ago and you're anxious that they've been angry with you all this time and you finally gain the courage to ask them about you and it turns out they were never angry or upset at all. the giddy relief you feel.

and then there's that little moment of tension where they're standing so close together and you think something might happen but then spike breaks off and goes to the weapons chest and starts rambling about what they should take. it's so notable that it's him who gets nervous and moves away. so different from the way he behaved with her in fool for love, getting up in her space and trying to make her admit she had feelings for him. he's accepted that she'll never love him back, and moments like this where it feels like maybe there could be something between them are too painful, so he disrupts the moment. moves away.

jumping to the end of the scene - i love that buffy is on the stairs when spike does his little speech. she's physically above him. "you're beneath me." not only that, she's ascending, just as she ascends at the end of the episode, accessing a level of heroism that spike will never be able to meet. rewatching this part, spike's expression really surprised me. when he says "i know you'll never love me," he doesn't look at all bitter or resentful. his face is open, understanding, compassionate, and thankful. because that's what this speech is - he's thanking her for treating him better than he deserves. he's so grateful for the respect and trust she has given him. it has been truly transformative, as we've seen. only he doesn't get to the actual thanking part, because he cuts himself off, saying he'll wait for her down here. i think he cuts himself off because he realizes that this isn't what buffy needs to hear right now. she's got an enormous battle to prepare for, and a sister to save, and spike's feelings simply aren't important. so he stops mid-sentence for her sake. i think we're meant to understand that the only reason he started to say this at all is that he really thinks he might die tonight and it could be his last chance to let her know what it has meant to him to be treated like a person capable of doing good.

i've focused on what's going thru spike's head in this post bc i think buffy is a lot harder to read here. which is interesting bc sarah michelle gellar as buffy is so expressive that usually you can always tell exactly what buffy is thinking. but when she's with spike in these episodes toward the end of season 5 it's difficult to tell how she regards him. i think a lot of the time even she doesn't really understand how she feels about him. their relationship is so paradoxical. she relies on him but she reviles him. she wants him around but she finds him intolerable. i might rewatch the scene again and make another post about what might be going thru buffy's head, but for now i'll leave it at saying that i kind of love how spike's feelings for buffy are crystal clear to us and buffy's feelings for spike are much murkier. spike started out as this cool mysterious antagonist, whereas buffy has always been the protagonist and we're constantly seeing things from her point of view and being made to understand how she feels. so it's kind of fun to see that flipped a little bit. and it also rings really true for me how buffy in this moment is like, i have 5 billion things to be worrying about right now, i cannot even begin to process whatever feelings i may or may not have regarding spike. and with all of that said........there really is a softness to the way she treats him in this scene. and it's nice.

anyway. these two ✌️ gonna go jump off a tall tall tower

[bengiyo]

Hello 👋

All of your favorite horniest sex scenes?

Hello! I've been busy, so this has taken forever to get to!

I don't always need the guys to bounce around on each other and gyrate enthusiastically for it to out as horny. Oftentimes, I find myself more drawn in by the building desire between the characters, and the explicit acknowledgement of release. I like when the sex feels like it's also revealing something to us about the characters. I've highlighted many of these before, but it's fun to revisit.

Ghost Host, Ghost House Episode 4 Couch Scene

I will never get over this scene, and especially the director's cut of it. These guys knew they liked each other almost instantly, and it was so rewarding to see them reach a place where they could express that. Bonus points for discussing the logistics of gay sex.

This show has been on Gaga and YouTube for a while, but it's also now available on Viki!

La Pluie Episode 6 Floor Scene and Episode 7 Bed Scene

I liked this scene so much that I wrote about it. Again, there's a lot of anticipation between these two, and you can tell how far it's built up because Patts has to dial it back down when Saengtai wants to stop. It's especially important to me because Saengtai does blow Patts in the next episode. If you're on iQIYI, there's an extended cut of that at the end of the video lists.

Mood Indigo: The Post-Funeral Scene

These two are so horrible for each other, but damn are their sex scenes compelling. Theirs are the kinds of scenes only possible between two people you know can never work long term. I was so glad that we got back to Haruhiko in Playback, and the first thing he did was blow Rio in a car. If you haven't seen the Novelist, and you're itching for hornier BL, it's right there.

The End of the World With You "You're Soaked"

From the same team as The Novelsit, we got to experience baby's first fuckboy in this incredible show. Again, I love when we get scenes with couples who aren't ready to work, because they're allowed to have raunchier sex. They get to amp the intensity of the physicality because they need to give a reason why someone was so caught up and missed the warning signs. I actually love the car scene later as a more romantic intimacy scene, but we're focusing on horny here.

Jack o' Frost Birthday Sex

A common theme here with the Japanese offerings is that people are allowed to have more interesting sex scenes right before they split. This is true even in Jack o' Frost. We get a really great oner from the leads that precedes their breakup and Ritsu's accident. I think this might be my favorite of this list because the actors have to build the entire scene together since there aren't any cuts.

Gameboys 2 Bed Scene

Cairo and Gav are one of my favorite pandemic couples we got on screen, and I was quite relieved for them when they finally got to have this moment. We also confirmed they switch, and I love that.

Wedding Plan: Namnuea Showing Off His Stamina

No list for me would be complete without including them. I really loved seeing two gay men go at it after clearing out all of their misunderstandings. They had already had sad goodbye sex. It was thrilling to see them having enthusiastic, athletic sex. This also leads directly to one of my favorite emotional payoffs for a closeted character of all time.

Kiseki: Dear to Me Reunion

The second couple stole this show, but damn if I didn't love the way these two played out sex across multiple years between their characters. These two really suffered, and I really love the way Taro Lin and Hsu Kai captured the changes between these two as Bai Zong Yi grew and matured. This really was a solid sex scene.

Love Class 2: Sungmin and Joo Hyuk

I just really wanna thank them for reassuring me that if Korea wanted to, they could deliver.

Sleep With Me Jeans Scene

I am not a lesbian, but I share their beliefs. This scene was so good. I loved that these two, who have different kinds of disabilities, were able to have a very fun sex scene. I really like when it's clear both characters want to be there.

Only Friends: Boston and Top in the Car

Despite my eventual disdain for this show, I was impressed with Neo and Force for giving this incredibly selfish sex scene between their characters. This entire scene is about injured egos, and it's a standout scene from this show. We won't discuss the rest of the show here.

Thanks for the ask!

[girlusional]

Let's Run away

pov: You are a princess, and he is your bravest knight. Tomorrow, you're going to marry a prince from another kingdom, but you discovered just the night before that the man you really love is the one who always protects you.

pairs: knight! enhypen Heeseung/Jay/Jake (separately) + princess! fem. reader

This is FICTIONAL. It's NOT about the idols in real life.

warnings: kisses, neck kisses, swearing, smut, unprotected sex (don't do it, do it safely), praise, fingering,

!MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

w.c.: 2.135k

LEE HEESEUNG

You were next to your window, seeing the sunset as a new day was coming. Your wedding.

You would be the next queen of a big kingdom, would marry a rich prince and, even if he has lovers, the idea of having power wasn't so bad.

So why were you so sad about it?

“I have to say bye, Your Highness.” You looked at Heeseung, your bravest knight, who was in front of you. “After your wedding, I'll not be your personal knight anymore.”

You frowned, what the hell was he talking about?

“What do you mean?”

You noticed that his eyes weren't looking at you, but at something behind you. And Heeseung always looks into your eyes.

Always.

“I mean that it's time to say goodbye.”

You widened your eyes, confused.

“But… you are my knight.”

Heeseung looked down at the floor, a stern expression on his face.

“I thought this would be better for both of us. I hope you understand.”

You could hear your heart in your ears. This only could be a joke.

“No. I need you by my side.” You walked next to him, trying to reach his face with your hand, but he stepped back.

“No. Please. Don't make it harder for me…” His voice was just a whisper at this point, and his eyes finally were looking into yours.

And something in your chest broke when you saw that he was tearing.

“Please.” He said again. “Don't make me want you more than this. It's not fair.”

Your heart almost stopped when the words were spoken. You stopped paying attention to the room, or to the yellow bird that was next to your window.

Heeseung is the only bright spot now.

You hold his face with kindness and nuzzle his skin, seeing his tears rolling down on his cheeks. He was so handsome it hurts.

“Do you really want me?” You asked, smiling.

“If I say yes, will you stay with me tonight?” You bite your lower lip, thinking.

You'll never be happy married to a prince that only wants you because of your father's kingdom. And you knew that.

Love is not everything, you know it. Freedom is important too. But this marriage will be your cage.

“If you say yes, I'll run away with you tonight.” You said, in a low tone. “If you say yes, I'm yours tonight.”

“Your Highness…”

“My name.”

His eyes were bigger, but his tongue said your name like a praise.

Like a damn necessity.

His hands found the lace on your dress, holding like you could disappear.

His lips touched yours in ecstasy, he moved to kiss you deeply, holding your waist with one hand and the other undone your lace, opening the dress.

“Heeseung…”

That tiny call of his name made something burn inside him.

“Be mine. Be mine, be mine, be mine…” He repeated these words against your skin, kissing your neck in devotion.

“I am yours…” He held your dress, wanting to take it off.

His armor was between your body and his, so he gently put you sat at your giant bed while taking off his pieces.

His sword was on your couch, and he was using boots, black pants and a white shirt, covering his arms and chest.

You observed his body, the way he looked at you, the way his tongue passed between his lips, his chest that was rising and falling fast, his… oh…

“Heeseung, you…” He smiled, walking to you and caressing your chin.

“I can't help it. I want you more than you think.” The buttons of your dress bodice opened, revealing your skin. “Can I kiss your body?”

You leaned on the bed, nodding.

Heeseung was at the top of you, kissing and biting your soft skin, marking it.

You knew your father would kill him for that, but you wouldn't be there when at the sunrise.

Your mind was blank, you don't even know how you both were now clothless, but your tongue just knew how to say one name.

“Heeseung…” You closed your eyes, crying. His mouth against your core, his fingers holding your legs apart. You've never felt this good before. “Heeseung…”

It was wet and hot… and so good.

Your body trembled before you could hold a moan that escaped from your lips.

“Shh, Princess. They will catch us.”

He lay down on the bed, next to you, and caressed your face.

“Will you really run away with me?”

“Yes.” You hugged him. “Let's run away.”

PARK JONGSEONG

You were at the Royal Library, reading about the kingdom of your future husband, Prince Aidan.

He was disgusting. Much older than you and always tries to seduce you.

Really, if you just could run away…

“It's late, Your Highness.” Your book was closed abruptly and you looked up, seeing Jay.

The candles trembled a bit, but kept shining.

“I just need some minutes…”

“You need to sleep, Your Highness.” You sighed. Jay was stubborn when he wanted to be, so you stood up and nodded.

“Get a candle and follow me, I need to put this in its place again.” You pointed to the book.

Your dress was shining under the candle light, but Jay kept his look on your neck, decorated with pearls.

He wanted to reach you, to stop you from marrying that man.

“Can I be selfish one last time before your marriage, Your Highness?” He asked, silently. You were both alone at that library.

“Yes.” You say, looking at the bookshelf you got the book.

When you put the object there again, you felt a head leaning in the curve of your neck and hands holding you behind.

Your heart began to beat fast, and your eyes widened.

“Jay, what…”

“I know isn't fair to you. But I am in love with you.” You shiver with his breath against your skin, his lips almost kissing your neck with proximity. “I wanted to keep you with me, but I knew we would never be together. You are a Princess, I am just a knight.”

You held his hands against your clothes, intertwining your fingers.

“What more?” You asked, caressing his hand.

His lips touched your jawline, making some electricity run inside your veins.

“What do you want to hear, Princess?” His nose slowly strokes your cheek. “That I would die for you?” His arms pressed you a bit more against his body. “That I would worship you like a fucking goddess? Because I would, and I will.” His fingers nuzzled your skin, trying to reach your blood and soul.

You turned your body to look at his eyes and couldn't say a thing because the first thing he did was to kiss you.

To devour your lips.

Your back was against the bookshelf and the candle was on some books.

Jay lifted you up, holding your legs.

He dreamed about it more times than he could count on fingers. And you wanted this more than you would ever say out loud.

One of his hands passed under your dress, feeling your thighs, and yours were at his shoulders, holding him close enough to kiss him.

But a loud sound stopped you.

“Princess? Are you here?” You two were in the library background, and no one could see you from the door.

But you had to answer, once it was your maid's voice.

“I am here. I am just reading some books. I'll go to bed in a few minutes.” You thought Jay would give you a time, but his fingers touched your waist, under your dress, and his hand… he was reaching…

“No.” You whispered. “She is here…”

But Jay smiled and kissed your neck, biting and sucking it.

You had to bite your lips to hold a moan.

“Are you sure? I am a bit worried, Your Highness. Tomorrow is an important day…”

“Yes I am, it's everything okaaa…” Your nails almost crossed Jay's shoulders when his fingers touched your core, massaging you in a lazy rhythm.

“Princess?” Your maid spoke again. “Is it everything okay?”

You wanted to scream, it was so good the way Jay was giving you more pleasure than you could hold.

”Answer her, love.” He muttered. “Or she will see us.”

“I am okay… Just… a bit tired…” You hold a pleased sound. “You can go.”

The doors closed, so you assumed she was gone.

“Park Jongseong…” You gasped when he touched a specific place.

“Say my name again.” He smirked. “I love you so bad, please…” His kisses now were calm and soft, and he kept a peace rhythm. “I want you…”

“I am yours…” Was the last thing you said before you reached your highest. You hugged him, tired. “Jay…”

“Hm?” He put you on the floor, your legs almost stumbling.

“Let's run away.”

SIM JAEYUN

You were worried. It was almost midnight and Jake wasn't in any place you looked.

He told you he was just a bit sick in the morning, but after noon he simply disappeared. And your wedding is going to be the next day.

You don't want to marry that prince, you just want to see Jake again. You held back your feelings for a long time and now, just now, you have the courage to say to him.

But where are him?

You were wearing a night-gown, and it was cold outside your bedroom.

You didn't have a choice, and got a blanket to cover your shoulders.

Jake usually walks in the garden when he's sad or sick, so your last hope was the Royal Garden.

Some flowers are blossoming, and the smell is sweet and pleasant, so you almost didn't see the time passing.

You were almost walking inside the castle again when you heard sobs.

At first you thought that it wasn't nothing, but you saw who was crying, and the scene almost broke your heart.

“Jake?” You called his name, looking at his pitiful state. His eyes were puffy, his nose was red and his clothes were a mess.

Jake stood up, wiping the tears and looking down.

“I am sorry, I…” You didn't wait for him to explain and hugged him with all you had.

“I was so worried about you, idiot…” You teared, relaxing when his hands reached your back.

“I just needed to put some thoughts in place.” He said, embracing you back.

“But you needed to disappear?” Your fingers trace a soft line on his skin. “Idiot.”

He chuckles and holds your hands, nuzzling them as his eyes admire you.

“Do you want to run away with me?” His words echoed between you, making your body freeze.

“Pardon?” You said.

“Sorry… nevermind.” You stepped next to him, curious.

“What did you say?” You try to catch his attention, but Jake sighed.

“I can't see you in this situation. I want to hug you every time you see that prince. I want to kiss you every time he touches your face. I want to have you every time I listen to someone talking about this damn wedding.” He looks at you, frowning. It seemed that he would cry at any moment. “I want you.”

His hands traveled from your face to your waist, squeezing it.

His face now was against the curve of your neck, smelling your sweet perfume.

“Somebody can see us…”

“I don't give a damn, I just want to be next to you.” His lips were so close to you. You just wanted to feel it.

“ Jake.” You felt his breath on your skin, and his hands were on your shoulders, under the blanket. “Shit…”

You weren't thinking straight anymore. Your fingers now were at his hair, and his tongue was caressing your neck, kissing it with so much need. He wanted you so bad.

“Not here.” You whispered.

“Nobody will…”

“Jake!” You wanted to hit him, but then he sat down on the floor, tapping his lap.

And between your reason and your desire, you heard your desire.

His hands explored your body like a treasure, he couldn't get enough of you.

“Jaeyun.” He was so deep. Your blanket was on the roses, and your back was against the grass while Jake was on the top of you, filling you.

You both were sweating, and breathing hard as your bodies became just one. And it was so good. The pleasure was something you just discovered now.

And you wanted more.

“I'm almost…”

“Me too.”

His fingers intertwined yours and his lips devoured the soft skin of your neck. Your moans were low and restrained, afraid that someone could appear.

But you just wanted to scream and say how good that was.

And when he came, his mouth was on yours, savoring your delicious lips.

“Run away with me.”

[sysig]

Those wacky skeletons ♥ (Patreon)

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

See, I think Charles’ annoyance and frustration with the Cat King really was just pure protectiveness and not any kind of jealousy - it’s understandable, because Edwin is not telling him what happened even though something clearly did, which is not typical for them. Edwin doesn’t usually hide things like this! Of course he’s worried!

Charles’ reaction to Monty, on the other hand, is difficult to explain in a way that isn’t jealousy. You could say he’s being protective again, but Charles shows no sign of distrust in Monty, and had no idea of who Monty was or that he might betray them - he was actually very chill with him, except in a select few specific scenes. You could say he just doesn’t like him because he got brushed off during their first meeting, but not only does that not seem like Charles at all, it also doesn’t make sense, since, again, in most instances, Charles is genuinely friendly and is happy when Monty compliments him and seems to have come around to liking him (it completely flies over his head that this is a petty jab at Edwin on Monty’s part but oh well hahaha). You could say it changes up their status quo a bit and that bothers Charles. I do think this bothers him a bit, but I think, unlike Edwin, Charles’ fear and frustration here is directed more at situations (the Cat King whisking him away for several hours, as an example) than others. He’s sociable and likes being able to talk to new people. There’s absolutely no way he’d begrudge Edwin doing the same - and he doesn’t… with Niko. Edwin and Niko hit it off and become very close and that never bothers Charles at all. He’s incredibly endeared to her, just like the rest, and for the most part, he’s chill with Monty too, and smiles pretty knowingly when Edwin confesses to him having awakened some feelings. The only exceptions, where he shows definite annoyance, are when Monty first shows up and gets really in Edwin’s personal space to show him the astrology chart he made, and when Edwin is so sucked into the book Monty gave him that he doesn’t hear that Charles is talking to him, to which he annoyedly says that they seem to have been “spending a lot of time together”.

You could say he’s unused to having anyone get in Edwin’s personal space like that, but, again, Niko. She’s very tactile with him and he doesn’t seem to mind all that much; they spend time together watching things. If it was just someone getting close with Edwin in general, not only would that be weirdly possessive for the character, but it would also mean he would show discomfort with anyone getting close, I think. Does Charles see Monty as more of a potential threat than Niko, seeing as he knows her and her personality and doesn’t know Monty? Well, maybe, but again, Charles shows no sign of distrusting Monty at all.

Monty is a boy. Okay. So something about seeing Edwin so close to a boy that is not him, getting lost in thought over something this boy gave him, really rubs Charles the wrong way. Charles appears to catch on just as quickly as anyone else that there is something (or it looks like something) between Edwin and Monty. He is not surprised when Edwin comes out to him in episode 6, and in fact, seems to have just been waiting for him to verbalize it. He smiles and is not bothered at all by Edwin showing (what he thinks is) a romantic interest in Monty - he just doesn’t like it when Monty clearly shows a romantic interest in Edwin. Um. Well. Well.

Charles is jealous. I really don’t know what else to say.

Look, when I first watched this show, I actually didn’t want them to end up together romantically - I love the idea of one having fallen in love with another who does not reciprocate and the two of them still loving each other just as much. That Edwin’s confession made them closer instead of making things awkward is such a beautiful outcome to this build up and I absolutely love it. However. On my two rewatches, I caught a lot more little details, and I think it would be very strange if the show did not follow up on this. That, plus the deliberate quality of these “jealousy” moments where the camera focuses on him, Charles’ Orpheus coding throughout the show, the fact that Edwin’s arc was far more about realizing his feelings for Charles specifically than just coming to terms with his sexuality, and that even the actors admit that Charles’ response to the confession kind of left things open, it really seems to me like the path leads to a romantic endgame for them, or at the very least, that this possibility will be explored in more depth.

**This is just my reading of it. Please do not use this post as a gotcha for anyone who loves them as a platonic duo or people who really love Crystal and Charles together (because let’s face it, they’re super cute too). I’m just doing my rambles. As per usual.

[moeblob]

What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?

What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.

[sodaspringz]

i just wrote a longass post about ccwlbr and everything that has improved for me since disengaging from that man and im NOT posting it and ruining the dash but i just want everyone to know. i am less active now because i am happier to face my life and all the small things in it. and it's the absence of that man that's made it possible for me. amen <3

[nullians]

It’s actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things “marketable” and it’s making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello

[halfdeadwallfly]

hello i just wrote a poem and for some reason it feels important

[selvepnea]

Thinking about. That one post about art. And how it's never good enough. Since you're the one that made it. And how. It might relate to how I view myself?

[im-a-freaking-joy]

Im really tempted to follow the therian tag on youtube just so I can comment on these poor kids's videos something kind and let them know that if they arent hurting anybody they can do whatever they want forever

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...