#i just need some time to recharge
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I have adulted harder today than I have ever adulted before. I have so many adult decisions to think about and my brain is at the point of super saturation.
I am planning on taking the weekend off from adulting. Like, it's not my weekend to work and I still have a job for 2-3 months at least, so taking two days off to recover from all the drama is ok, right?
Someone please tell me it's ok. 😢
#ramblings#life update#even though i adulted and have a lot of things to consider now#i am no closer to solving my problem#and i feel like it's become several smaller problems now#and they're all kinda swarming me#like ants but not as cool as ants#like fire ants#i just need some time to recharge#and i can't see my therapist again until monday anyway#please tell me it's ok#otherwise i will shut down and then kick myself for shutting down and not being productive
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today i learned this man can just straight up scale walls which is terrifying
#ive been playing sonic advance. the special stages evade me after about an hour i managed to complete just ONE of them#dw im working on mm doodles in the background i just needed some time to recharge so ive been doing something different#reddy art#knuckles the echidna#sth#sth fanart#sonic series
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I
AM FINISHED
WITH SCHOOL ASSIGNMENTS
FOREVER
#im gonna need some time to recharge tho so dont expect me back just yet#but AUGHHHH I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#GRADUATION IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME NOW
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officially my year of concerts and festivals is over…… taking a break from music journalism to focus on getting a job that actually pays but that i still enjoy and coming back in a few months but only occasionally like i did back in 2022-2023….. very good year learned a lot both good and bad really saw the world from another perspective and grew so much both as a person and professionally….. excited to see where 2025 takes me!!!!!!!!
#also starting this business? w my bf which is what i’ll be focused on in december :)#also leaving the city for a few months…… i need to recharge in my small town#gonna focus on that business + getting a job at a marketing agency/travel agency for now:)#when i’m settled i’ll come back to the city find some other place to live and hope that it can actually be a home#unlike the three places i lived in this year i hope the next becomes home <3#and well. then i’ll do music journalism but only on my free time :)#But! if at some point i got offered a job in the music one that pays well then im in 100% again#i’d love to do this full time 4ever but this just doesn’t pay the rent#anyways! very excited to see what’s next for me!!!!!#already have a couple of options to send my cv to and my cv is also really good so! we’ll see#for nowwwww. just gonna go pickup some christmas gifts and then go home <333
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had this brain & skuld wip for Years that I've finally decided to just make into a one shot. enjoy!
It’d taken some convincing, but now that Brain’s finally got time to himself, he can breathe a bit easier. Realign, compartmentalize, the whole nine yards. He’s practically a pro at getting used to a new normal by this point. Just. An adjustment period, is what this is. He’ll get with the program eventually. He always does.
#the way i spent today going “i need to recharge and like mentally reboot”#and then later going “if i am not productive in some way today im going to explode”#so yeehaw time to Sleep#kh#kh brain#kh skuld#khux#ao3#woe! braingst and skuldangst be upon you!#skuldangst doesn't have as fun a ring weh#forgot ao3 hotlinks don't show the summary WEH x2#kingdom hearts#my art#what is writing if not an art of its own#this totally isn't just an excuse to lump this in with my art tag shhh
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To anyone who needs this:
It's ok to take a break. It is a need. Do not feel guilty for getting up to stretch, eat, shower, sleep, even play, read, listen, or watch something for a few minutes to ease stress and tension. Even if you feel like you've done insufficient work. Turn to God and he will help you.
(I keep repeating Psalm 23:4)
I'm trying to tell myself this too. I keep breaking down this week and I feel like the work I do will never be enough or be finished. But it will be, eventually. With God's help.
#exhausted's half awake jumbles#i never thought i would vent so much on the Internet.#maybe tomorrow I'll attempt some vent art.#or maybe just some art#not now though.#i feel too tired.#gotta admit i feel like a hypocrite writing this but I'm trying to follow this advice too#im telling myself i am not weak for needing rest. and time recharge.#it is not bad.
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. . . .
#➤ 《 𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧' 𝐀𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 》 Status#{ icon art by: Delta_Nonbiri }#{ Hey guys just checking in and letting you all know that I'm alive LOL.#I had a jam packed weekend and honestly decompressing and spending some time away from RP has been good for recharging.#The weather has been so great over here so I've been spending time outside for my health. I also took a reflexology class today.#Routine breaks from writing is pretty normal for me so don't be alarmed.#I'll get to my Discord DM's soon but for now I'm enjoying some MUCH needed much deserved down time. }
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does anyone else worry they're going to get their Introvert Card revoked if they admit they don't constantly long for isolation
(does anyone then question why that worries them?)
#I feel like#I enjoy a good solitary recharge#i need my alone time#I hit the wall even with people I adore and have to go be alone for a spell#but like#for a spell#like a few hours a day#i'm not constantly trying to get away from all people all the time#I like *some* people#I like small groups of people#like two to five other people#well#two to three other people#who i like#I mean if you experience loneliness are you still an introvert?#are you guys introverts or just pathological misanthropes?#WHO AM I
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Would you like some older Maxwil recs? Some older fics I'm fond of are Le Nom de Perte (The Name of Loss) (I'm a sucker for soulmate AUs- that whole set of four is pretty great,) & The Price of Pride
Currently reading Le Nom de Perte and it's not just good but also admirable that the writer updated it recently after literal years of nothing. I'm impressed and really happy for the person
The summary "Soulmates aren't always what you're hoping for. And sometimes, you give up on even hoping." got me. EASY catch there lol
Still have to check The Price of Pride but it sounds good. Summary: "With the group split up into teams due to a few incidents at base camp, Maxwell and Wilson are set with trying to survive the world, and each other."
Thank you for the recommendations! I'll definitely finish reading them... when my brain gets a reading spree again
#maxwil#Some more fics to read for you'all as well if you want to#brain too slow. ok? Needs time to recharge and focus and not just unconsciously fly through the words not absorbing anything#chafi replies#no My-dude picture this time cuz I got right into reading lmao
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Hey as a super introverted but not shy person I'd just like to say the jokes about extroverts "adopting" introverts to "get them out of their shell" are actually completely unfunny and it just goes to show how little respect a lot of y'all have for the fact that we genuinely don't want excessive social interaction and that y'all are forcing us to do something that brings us extreme physical and mental discomfort because you perceive our introversion as a failing rather than as purely a difference in personality.
We don't need your "help" to socialize. We're not children. We're simply not interested in spending every waking second of our lives talking to people and being talked at in return.
#again i scream from the rooftops that there is a monumental chasm between being shy and actually being an introvert#a shy person is someone who's afraid of social interaction. an extrovert can be naturally shy.#a shy person can WANT lots of social interaction but simply have not learned to feel comfortable in social situations.#people who are just very introverted simply have little desire or capacity for excessive human interaction.#we're not “afraid” of it. we just don't enjoy it and it wears us out.#you don't need to swoop in and save us because we can't handle ourselves. we're perfectly fine thank you#extroverts are constantly demanding that we get out of our comfort zones but few of you are willing to make the alternative more comfortabl#if you're a very extroverted person please do not take it upon yourself to jokingly “adopt” introverts you meet.#it's not funny and it's not helpful. it's irritating that you perceive our quietness and low social battery as something that needs “fixing#we won't miraculously learn to love and be comfortable with excessive human interaction. that's not how we're wired and that's OKAY#i'm honestly getting so sick of the “the lonely introvert and the extrovert who adopted them” memes#i can guarantee you that if you are an extrovert who operates this way then your introvert “friend” is actually probably very uncomfortable#and just don't want to say anything because they think it would be rude to bring up the fact that they don't want what you want from them#this does NOT mean extroverts and introverts cannot be friends nor am i saying all extroverts are annoying or that they all do this#i'm simply saying that if you are very extroverted and you have a friend who's very introverted#then it's on you to be aware of your introvert friend's limited social battery and STOP pressuring them to just “put up with it”#don't spend every second with them constantly talking. be willing to spend some time just in the quiet.#be willing to let them bow out of something if they're exhausted and are low on social energy.#don't expect them to want to come to every meeting or party or get-together because it WILL drain them completely.#be willing to let them spend time alone when they need to to recharge.#letting an introvert cool off and recharge when they need to is ALWAYS going to make social situations less stressful for them.#PLEAAAAASE take their feelings into account and understand that they do NOT perceive social interactions the way you do.#most very introverted people do not find socialization relaxing or invigorating. they don't do it to unwind#they have to unwind AFTER lots of social interaction#that's about it. thank you and good night
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#genuinely can’t tell the difference between productive recharge time#and like#burning out#don’t think I’ve ever really ‘burnt out’ per se#but then again how would I know what to expect#lol#slav#slav every day#voltron#that lol is doing some heavy lifting for these tags#I am fine tho#I just had a relaxing evening and need to remember I’m allowed to do that
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i just wanna read but my options in this house r either 1) my room, which is nice n private but only has my bed to sit on, or more preferable The Floor, or 2) the front room, which has a comfy chair n lamp set up, but family come in n out of which is extremely distracting
if i wanna b able to read more than a sentence at a time it's gotta be my room But i'll probably b too uncomfy to focus anyway.. bleeehh
also this house is So unfriendly to device use, which ig is good. every room has massive windows so bright sun all day, n all the blinds/curtains got torn down but not replaced. plus all the window settings r rotted or filled w asbestos so its not worth putting new ones up atm
i moved in in august n the idea was have the house liveable by xmas but lol @ that happening. obvs i can't fix anything myself or organise getting some1 to do it.. the fam's gotta take out loans to repair the house 2 sell it but everyone's got 100 other things to deal with first.. i'm just here helping keep the place sort of tidy in the meantime. god i'm already sick of it tho, the 2 months not paying rent have been nice but id like my own space asap
(...gotta find a new roommate, gotta find an affordable apartment somewhere i can get to work)...aiya.. i just want like a 1bedroom house out of the city, man
#actually maybe i can use the money from selling off the hoard to get shit repaired.. if i can get that okayed#not knowing whats worth renovating n whats worth leaving to new owners to tear down makes it harder#already ive been here long enough for it to feel like 'my stuff' not 'their stuff' which immediately makes it 10 times harder#i barely know these ppl (didnt see them much growing up) but im sorting thru their schoolbooks n art projects deciding what to toss n what#to salvage#its like constant mental drain w no chance to recharge#well my cat helps tbh. prob wouldnt survive w.out her. but maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan#i want to sell some ceramics on gumtree or whatever. but i need energy for that. but to chill out n recharge id need Quiet Space#but theres none bc we gotta get thru hoard to get to the useable furniture n whatever. but we need everyone to be mentally ok to discuss#what can be donated/thrown out. but everyones got their own crazy lives going on. etc etc etc#god. whatever. i made cheesy crackers n theyre yum. i just wanna cave n start smoking again tho. i just wanna read my book man#txt
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Recent ones of these even though they all look the same lol.. forcing myself to document progress..
#I can average like 2500 words a day for a while and then something gets in the way and I don't write for a week or something#which then sort of erases my previous Doing Good At Keeping Up With It lol.. but... alas#Still moving slowly forward...#There's a 'community board' place in game where you can go to look at a few things and some of whats there is little 'odd jobs' the player#can do for a little extra coin (since you can buy items in the game/might need coin).#Thhough of course since it's just interactive fiction/visual novel it's not like... actual minigames or something. Just like..#mini stories of your character going places and doing stuff and having some interactions with the other places in the world#Like for example since modern refrigerators don't exist in this world one of the odd jobs you can do is help with doing ice deliveries#or there's one odd job where you assist a guy recharging the city's main bell tower/time keeping place by helping him go around and replace#the iriminel crystals (kind of like magical batteries - stones that are able to store energy that way and be used to fuel passive#enchantments). or one where you help food prep for the cooks at a nearby automat. etc. etc.#Just little short things to get a better glimpse of how the wider city is outside of just interacting with the main characters. plus earn#a tiny bit of coin. Though because they're so short there's not really branching paths or anything much for choices beyond#usually an optional dialogye menu where you can talk to the person you're working with and ask them personal#or work related questions if inclined to do so. It'd be cool if they were more in depth but.......erugh...#I have so much writing left to do already lol.. Also since it's really just to get money I could have just had them#all be like a single sentence of 'you go here and you do this all day then you come home. + 15 coins. yaay' and thats all#So maybe it's a middle ground to elaborate upon them at all. Just enough extra details to maybe be a little interesting#like ''ooh my character is in a little cart riding through the misty morning forest on their way to deliver ice'' . but also not so much#that it takes away time from like... the literal actual main game lol#ANYWAY. That's what all these are. There are like 10 optional little world exploring/job things you can do. and each I guess seem to be#about 2.500 words ish. That's including the optional chatting menus though. but still. reasonable for a little side thing I guess.#I got finished with one character's quests and stuff so I decided to take a break to work on some of the other little things like the Odd#Jobs and the 8 characters you can find around the world to have short conversations with that aren't actual main characters either. etc.#Then I shall return back to the Main Actual Things. ... augh...... still so much to do...#Which I could also just cut everything extra out but... idk.. since it's mostly all text I feel the need to give more options to flesh out#the actual setting somehow. Since in a 3D game you can walk around and explore the world and stuff. And of course there#are pictures. but it would take me infinitely longer to do detailed art of so much of the entire city youre in or etc. So i guess my versio#of still having some amount of ''exploration'' is just.. set up optional paths where more of the world can at least be Described.#You can't actually walk through a 3d orchard. or an elaborate bell tower. or an elven shrine. But you can Read About being in them LOL
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At the first long rest we took, I like the idea that Shadowheart is laying there like 'my unlikely compatriot is rather brave and clever. He got us out of fight with just his words and, despite his cold, aloof demeanor, was shockingly agreeable to making finding someone to get the parasite out of our heads priority number one. Perhaps I can trust him after all...'
All while Ronan, serial abuser of Thaumaturgy, Blade Ward, and Guidance, is wondering if Bahamut is going to give him a good grade in Cleric today.
#bg3#i keep getting the shadowheart approves message#cant wait to find a new party member but i can literally only play for like 80 minutes at a time before i got to recharge my laptop#also the second i find a rogue. shit is going to get cheesed to all hell#just 'oh thank god. someone with high sneak and sneak attack bonus'#i know theres the handsome dude with the rapier who stabs a gobbo close by but#i have a chronic need to dink around and explore everything before hitting The Plot so i reloaded my save to look around the beach some more#i need to fix my pc so i can actually play with more than 7 frames a second
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I hand you a doodle and then go back to dying of the plague
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#furry#furry art#furry oc#Im sick 😔#I can tell because all my joints are hurting instead of just my knees lol#which actually is strange since usually when Im sick the first sign is my nose being super duper runny#but I can actually breath just fine if not better than usual rn wow#but yeah say hi to antinio theyre a design I got a couple months ago I think#theyre a part of a new ish story I made around the same time that surrounds the other escaped patients of the facility pent escaped from#pent didnt actually go with them tho partially because none of them like her and she doesnt like any of them but mostly because shes more#physically unstable than the others and needs regular goop recharges that kept her camping near the facility until bud and daisy dropped in#but yeah everyone else left together and spent some time wandering before getting lured into the origin place of the goop#this guy is actually quite the unique case among the bunch because they were originally an ocean dweller before they were revived#this basically means they only half understand what everyone else is saying and can't actually talk themself#and also that despite not needing to breath they constantly feel like theyre suffocating and they are generally pretty bitter abt all this#they cant rly go home partially because theyve been dead for too long and mostly because theyd kind of just fall apart in the ocean#even just washing their hands causes their fur and skin to get all slimy#hey they at least have a new bestie even if said bestie is also part of the only half understands everyone party meaning they even less#know how to communicate with eachother since they both speak different languages from eachother#but hey now they can be confused abt whatever the hell applebounce is yelling abt together
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i don’t like talking about my negative feelings and thoughts that much, but i’ve just been oddly stressed and overwhelmed and idk why
these past few days have been pretty hard on me with some irl situations and problems and drama and just crap.. so i just wanted to let some some stuff out. (more vents stuff under cut)
but like.. have you ever felt so stressed and overworked for no reason? or there might be a reason.. just can’t put my finger on it. i’m really tired right now and school’s hard and life’s hard and i just wanna ahsgsjsbwh!!! i’m trying to give myself some hugs and reassurance but it feels like it has no.. like.. real meaning,, if you get what im saying. really annoyed by life and existence and having to comfort my close friends and i’m scared and don’t want them to hurt themselves but i don’t wanna hurt myself.. guh this is like all over the place wawawawawa!!!! i’m scared of having my friends get themselves stressed comforting me but.. that idea is a lil silly .. haha :’3. my mind is everywhere but where i want it to be. the once calming beat if my music now feels empty and emotionless , my plushes aren’t as soft and cozy as they were before, and my friend and family’s voice aren’t soothing and fun anymore.. i don’t know why i feel like this wewawewgsvwhsvwhsvwh- i don’t like all this all over the place random rambling, but i just had to say some things
i’m okay, i prommy! just wanted to doodle some things to help me feel better
i mostly posted the drawings cause i’m kinda proud of them
i’m gonna be okay. don’t worry :)
#vent art#my sona#i’m okay!! dw about me#i think i just need some time to recharge#i’ll be okay.#hugs are appreciated though…
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