#i just mean he's not insecure i feel like it might look like there's overlap w what i'm saying but it's different it's different

[collieii]

idk if this is controversial but i don't think vash is ashamed of his scars. i think vash is mainly concerned abt the picture he presents to the world and other peoples well-being/feelings. so the reason he doesn't like others seeing his scars is because he think it will make them uncomfortable, and it also sort of undermines the image he wants to project of someone who's very sillygoofy/carefree etc. similarly, i don't think vash is ashamed or insecure about being a plant/having those inhuman features, more he's concerned with how other people react to them. (the plant stuff esp makes sense to hide given how people literally stoned him lmao)

but yeah i don't think he's filled with self loathing over the scars and being nonhuman. i feel like vash's self image is fine, he just prioritizes how others feel and reacts based on that. his whole philosophy of covering up how he feels inside (that smile is fake!) is based on this principle, it doesn't matter if he's depressed as hell as long as he can pretend it's ok, because external presentation and how you affect the world is what really matters to him.

[koolaidoverwriting]

GENERAL DATING HEADCANONS

CHARACTERS: Eyeless Jack, Jeff the Killer, Gender Neutral Reader

Request. I wasn't sure if you meant Jack x Jeff. I stuck to separate SFW and NSFW headcanons. But you can send another ask to clarify! :)

CW: Explicit Sexual Content, But Also Romantic Fluffy Stuff, Blood, Self-Harm, Cannibalism, Biting, Not Graphic

NSFW UNDER CUT! MINORS DNI!

EYELESS JACK

SFW:

Jack doesn't feel as much empathy or sympathy as other people. It definitely takes a long time for him to warm up to you, let alone get comfortable enough to date you.

Jack is an outlier in the mansion. He likes being alone, doing his own thing. Plus, a lot of people don't like his bluntness and sarcasm.

His tar spills faster when he's upset, but it's pretty much gone when he's happy. That's why he hardly cries tar around you.

He has a hard time showing affection through his words, but you know he loves you. Sometimes, he just pops up and holds your hand, or wraps his arms around you.

When you're hurt, he tends to your wounds, cooks you warm meals, and stays by your side. It's a mutual silence where you're just enjoying each others' presence.

Jack is a bookworm. You spot the books he reads and you check them out. Jack is over the moon when you randomly reference his favourite book. "Did you really read that for me?"

Surprisingly, Jack talks a lot. He rants about his interests in gardening and science.

Speaking of gardening, he'll most definitely grow your favourite flowers for you. He'd give you handmade bouquets and flower crowns, as well as perfumes and scented candles.

Jack isn't against light–hearted teasing. He says flirty things just to catch you off guard since you aren't used to it. Most of these "flirty things" are phrases he heard from TV shows.

He does try to get you to try kidneys. If you refuse it because it's raw, he'll cook it for you. If you refuse it because it's gross, he'll shrug a shoulder and eat it himself.

NSFW:

Jack is gentle with you. He knows how much smaller you are in comparison, so he makes sure he doesn't bruise you.

If you allow it, he'll bite you enough to draw blood, but nothing more.

His ears are sensitive! Licking or biting them gets him all worked up.

Jack has three tongues that overlap in his mouth, meaning he's a fucking demon with oral sex. His tongues squirm inside of you, hitting all the right spots. He could eat you out for hours before substituting his tongues for his cock.

When he sees you're close, he only fucks you harder.

Jack's cock doesn't fit inside you all the way. Your senses leave you, and you're a drooling, blubbering mess as he rams into your entrance.

After you're done, he'll clean up any blood that spilled and kiss your bite marks. While cuddling, he asks you what you want to eat. He'll cook anything for you.

JEFF THE KILLER

SFW:

Jeff lives in the mansion and has been living there since he was 17. Before that, he lived with a blind old woman who thought he was her grandson.

Dating him means you're going to have to get used to his angry outbursts until he learns how to control them better. He tends to lash out and then apologise later. You're sure with enough patience, things might get better. Especially because you know he's trying his best.

He loves emo music. In fact, he collects merchandise from the concerts he sneaks into. At night, you get to cuddle with Jeff while some emo song blasts on his speaker.

He also plays the electric guitar and would love to teach you how to play. And if you already know how to play, he'll get really excited about duetting with you.

Jeff has had self-esteem issues since the incident. He tries everything to make himself "beautiful", taking extensive care of his skin, hair and clothes.

He believes the scar makes him look better, maybe because it distracts from other parts of his face he's insecure about. He refreshes his cut every month.

You have to remind him that he's beautiful just the way he is. There are nights where you argue over it, but you try everything you can to help him overcome his insecurities — or at least accept his flaws.

He has a knife collection. He paints the handles of his knives all different colours. Some days, you could sit and talk with Jeff while you paint knife handles together.

"Can I test the sharpness on you?" "What?" "...I'm joking."

Jeff isn't a good cook. He never put time into learning how to cook. You, knowing he has to learn at some point, convince him you're on a "cooking date" whenever you want to teach him how to make a meal.

NSFW:

I already have a NSFW post for Jeff, but these are softer alternatives for when he's in a relationship.

Known fact: Jeff will use his knife during sex. He enjoys grazing it across your skin, smiling at your "cute" reactions.

The tip of the knife scratches your thighs. Your legs twitch as he looks into your eyes with a needy look.

Jeff likes seeing your desperation. He loves it when you grind against him, begging for his cock. He'll keep his hands off you, forcing you to grind helplessly. "Horny little bitch... Yeah, tell me how much you want me."

He fucks you at a rough, unstable rhythm as he tries to reach his peak. When he's in the zone, it's only his orgasm that matters to him.

Jeff mutters profanities under his breath with almost every thrust. It's a mixture of praise and degradation. "Fuck... D–Damn slut... You feel so fucking good..."

For aftercare, he doesn't do much. Just small things like giving you water and cuddling with you in bed. It's simple and it's nice.

!!! i'm very sorry if you meant "jack x jeff"! feel free to let me know in another ask, though!

[skylarsblue]

billy loomis / stu macher x reader with autism? tysm! and if you can’t do it no worries ^^

(Autism gang, let's go! Also, I added Danny for my own enjoyment, forgive me.)

✦Ghostfaces With a S/O That's Autistic✦

✦Content; No warnings that I can think of, fluff, GN!Reader with nothing specified physically✦ ✦Stu; He/Him, Billy; He/Him, Danny; He/They✦

✧Stu Macher✧

I'm fairly certain Stu is neurodivergent, ADHD specifically. You look at this man and tell me he has a neurotypical brain, I dare you. Yeah, no, you can't.

Now given this is 1995-1996, the concept of people having ADHD & Autism wasn't super accepted. Honestly, people treated it like a devastating blow most of the time. (Sadly, not a whole lot has changed) I imagine Stu doesn't really understand what being neurodivergent really means. Like, he knows what autism is, but he's got a bit of a warped view of what it means for you. You can blame media for the majority of it, but don't worry! He's not gonna go Anti-Vax Mom™ on yo ass.

He'll actually listen to you, even if he doesn't fully understand. You'll have to break it to him that Autism isn't a life-destroying thing. It just means you process things a bit differently, have sensitivities, etc. He'll grab the concept pretty quickly.

When you explain stuff like sensory processing issues, he'll actually relate really hard. Stu's lived his whole life thinking he was just weird for his reactions to certain stimuli, but when you describe your own experiences, it makes him question.

Bringing up that he might have ADHD won't make him want to get tested, he doesn't see a need, it won't change anything about him and he's not huge on the idea of medications. But, he will ask you more questions. Autism & ADHD are different but they do have a decent amount of overlap and you know more than he does so he trusts your judgment.

"Wait is that why I feel like I wanna tear my skin off when I feel velvet?! ...YOU MEAN NOT EVERYONE HEARS ELECTRICITY? IT'S JUST US?!"

Mans has an epiphany every five seconds while you're talking.

When it comes to him helping you, he tries his best, but he's spacey and forgets certain things. Still, he does his best to keep it all in mind. If he knows there's one food you absolutely can't stand, he'll keep it off your plate. Even if it means scraping it all onto his own and making a mess.

Is there a sound that makes it feel like your head's about to explode? He'll cover your ears, put his head on your head/shoulder and hum something.

Sometimes, if you two share a sensitivity, he'll loudly express his hatred for it and insist you both leave/get rid of whatever's causing it.

Has probably broken something that was making a noise you both hated. "Ugh, finally. Look, see? Problem solved! Aren't I a genius, babe?"

Stu absolutely understands the consumption of hyperfixations and he supports you completely. If it's something he can't get into, sometimes he comes across a bit aloof to it, because it doesn't give his brain the dopamine rush it does for you. Still, he's glad you have something you enjoy and he'll still listen to your rants. As long as you do the same for him.

If you both are hyperfixating on the same thing at the same thing? Bro, y'all annoy the shit out of everyone and he does not give a single fuck.

If anyone makes you feel like shit for talking about it, he's gonna rip them a new one. He makes fun of their biggest insecurities if he feels they deserve it. Is it cruel? Yes, but he, doesn't, care. If you don't wanna feel his wrath, you sit there and listen intently to his baby's ramblings, damnit.

Stu's a pretty intense dude and he likes a lot of stimulation. But he understands if you get overwhelmed sometimes. His tolerance for lots of stuff going on is a lot higher than most people. Again, he'll cover your ears if it's a lot of noise. He'll cover your eyes if it's too much visual stimuli, keep you close to his body in a crowd. This also helps if you're shorter than him because he can surround you completely, helps feel like you're disconnected from the stressors around you.

He's hella rich, he'll get you all the fidget toys you want. All the shit you want for a hyperfixation. Best believe you get the best headphones and music player the market has to offer for those times you need to drown shit out.

He's a touchy-feely person and he's likely to forget your physical boundaries sometimes if touch is a problem for you. But he'll always apologize when you correct him. If touch isn't a problem, he's super cuddly. And if you're the type to be only okay with touch from specific people, he gets a huge ego boost from being that person.

He's a bit boney & fidgety but makes a decent human blanket.

An overall 10/10 for a Neurodivergent Partner.

✧Billy Loomis✧

I'm gonna be real with you, chief. He's not the best. He's not terrible! But not the best. I'm not saying he's gonna bully you for the things you do, no, he's an overall sweet partner in all honesty. He's patient and understanding.

Still, if he doesn't understand a thing you're doing, he might come across a bit annoyed. Like if you have an audible stim that you keep repeating, his tone comes across a bit snappy when he asks why you do it. He's not trying to upset you, his temper's just a bit shaky.

Sitting him down and explaining that you're autistic might get you a few annoying questions. He's not an asshole, he means well, but the questions come across rude. Ex; "But you don't act autistic.", "But you do (insert stereotypical thing).", etc. If you tell him that most of the stuff he knows is basically all poor representation and rumors, he'll give you a pretty basic apology and he'll stop. Billy will also ask what else is a result of shitty ideas of autism so he knows better. (You'll need to tell him that the R-word is a slur. He doesn't really use it but it's good for him to be aware.)

I personally see Billy as neurotypical, but he's been friends with Stu for a long time. If you have behaviors that overlap with Stu's, he'll handle it perfectly. He's a veteran at it.

Sometimes he'll think you're being a bit too sensitive about sensory stimuli, but when you explain it's not just that you dislike something, he'll be more willing to understand.

"It's just a bit of corn, it's not that bad." "Billy, when I bite into a single kernel, it triggers my fight or flight response, my body goes into panic mode, and I wanna tear my hair out and throw up. It is that bad." "...oh. Aight, here, trade me."

When it comes to overstimulation caused by stuff like noise and people, he actually understands. He's an introvert and large crowds exhaust him, which makes him irritable. If he sees you starting to get antsy and uncomfortable in a loud environment, he'll give you his walkman headphones and find a reason for you both to leave. He's excellent at manipulation, he'll find a way.

If you have skin sensitivity, he'll start keeping things on him that help alleviates it. Scissors to cut tags out of your clothes, a spare shirt(that's his because he totally has a kink for that), hand sanitizer, etc.

Best believe he's ready to throw hands with anyone who gives you shit. He will whoop ass, no hesitation. Billy's a very possessive & protective partner most of the time, he's ready to defend your honor at the drop of a hat.

He's got his hobbies and likes, but he doesn't have anything he'd consider a hyperfixation. Still, he'll be perfectly happy for you that you've found one. Sometimes he has to ask you to stop talking when you're rambling about it, but he learned after the first two times to specify it wasn't personal. He just needs quiet every now and then and he knows you'll get sad if he isn't actually listening to you.

Like Stu, he'll be very happy if your hyperfixation has anything to do with his own interests. Billy will actually be impressed if you know more niche facts and nuances than he is, this is often the easiest way to hold his attention when you're in a long info-dump.

He's not as rich as Stu, but he's got some decent money, plus a part-time job. His spare money will definitely be spent on your interests, no matter what it is. It could be a hyper-specific brand of toys and he'll buy the most expensive one they offer. He wants you to be happy! (And the terrible part of him wants to have the leverage to keep you loyal to him, no matter how terrible his actions get)

Despite his struggle to understand sensory processing disorder, he actually offers some pretty decent suggestions to get around it. Using myself as an example, I often struggle to brush my teeth because it'll feel like bugs are in my teeth. If you had something like this, he'd come up with a potential solution on the spot. "What if you brushed them in the shower? That way you can focus more on the water than the brushing."

Again, similarities between you and Stu will catch his attention and he'll make a mental note of it. One, he'll see if he can use his experience with Stu to handle your symptoms better. Two, he'll definitely consider asking you if Stu's neurodivergent.

Not the best, but he's trying his best. Solid 7/10.

✧Danny Johnson✧

ANOTHER NEURODIVERGENT.

I headcanon that Danny has AuDHD, which is both Autism & ADHD. Once he was diagnosed (well into his twenties), it was like they had opened pandora's box. Researching it made them go "OHH THAT'S WHY" every five seconds.

He grew up in rural Utah with a shitty dad who would definitely not treat Danny well if he knew about his son's neurodivergence. But that doesn't matter cause the bastard's dead. Letting Danny have the freedom to research the topic to his heart's content, which he does. It helped them immensely in terms of lifestyle.

When you come into his life and explain that you're autistic, he's completely accepting right off the bat. That's also assuming he wasn't stalking you for months prior to your relationship and that he didn't already know to begin with.

He's probably the most equipped to handle things like sensory overload & sensitivities, given he has so many himself. He's also, ironically enough, got the most patience for things like stims & info-dumping. Danny's a tempermental hypocrite but on this list he's the most chill with these things, funny eh?

They absolutely pick up on some of your stims and you pick up on his. It makes them so much worse, but it's cute. His main stims involve his hands and little sounds with his mouth, like whistling or humming.

Your food sensitivities don't need to be explained to him, he's got a million. It's aggravating because he wants to be a foodie so bad but then they have all these damn sensory problems. If a single piece of broccoli will ruin your entire meal, broccoli will be essentially banned from the house. He's a romantic like that.

Pre-cuts tags from your clothes, picks out things from pre-made meals that you hate before he even gives it to you, has a plethora of scented candles you like to cover up troublesome smells, and he's got a million versions of headphones/earbuds. They all work he just loses them constantly, buys more, then finds the originals again. Honestly, they have a whole drawer dedicated to music players.

Your ability to stick to a schedule helps out with his ADHD experience. He's got a pretty decent routine himself, but sometimes he'll fuck it up and find it hard to get back on track. For example, they've misplaced their meds and it's fucking up their whole morning? There you are with the correction and they're back on track. He'll jokingly call you a saint for it.

Sometimes his temper gets touchy and he'll get snappy at something you do. (This is more a general thing and less an Autistic thing) He gets real guilty when you look at him with sadness and quickly apologizes. Which is baffling, given they were pretty sure they were incapable of guilt for a long time.

"I'm sorry, sorry, it's not you. Not mad at you. Mad at this other thing, it's not personal, doll, sorry."

If you're overstimulated, Danny's got you covered, rest assured. He's got earbuds, at least three fidget toys, and he's always ready to give you comforting pressure. Whether it's by acting like a weighted blanket or a tight hug. They also really appreciate when you return the favor when they've had a bad day at work.

They get a huge ego boost if you consider him your main comfort, or if your comfort object is something of his. Like a gift they gave you or some article of their clothing.

Actively researches your hyperfixation so he can engage in conversation with you about it. They like seeing you get all excited when they bring it up. Most of the time, he ends up having a hyperfixation on it as well. If you do the same for him? You're asking for a cuddly bitch of a man.

Feels their cold heart melt when you do something to help their AuDHD. Remembering his safe foods, his fidgets, etc. If he wasn't obsessed before, he is now.

Anyone who gives you shit for being autistic is dead by morning, that's a basic rule. If you defend him against bullshit? He's fucking the shit out of you.(/hj)

Considers you a hyperfixation, honestly.

100/10, you caught a winner with Danny. If you don't mind obsessive behavior, possessiveness, and murder. But c'mon. You're here. Of course, you don't mind.

[whyamiheretumbled]

Rise Leo and the Cluster B spectrum

@smudged-kaleidoscope YES, ITS BEEN MONTHS,BUT GUESS WHOS BACK WITH TMNT UHM INTERPRETATIONS?! MEEEEEE!!! And today, why I think Rise Leo might be on the cluster B spectrum.

IMPORTANT NOTES:I am not a licensed professional, all of this is done through forums run and managed by those with a Cluster B disorder, talking to those with cluster disorders, research, and anaylziation. Also, personality disorders DONOT make people inherently abusive. Maybe, MAYBE, abusive tendencies, due to the way their brains interpret things, but this does not make them ALL abusive. It is a personality disorder, not a reason nor excuse to be a prick. Abuse all boils down to the PERSON.

The four types of Cluster B Personality disorders are:ASPD, NPD, HPD, AND BPD. These are characterized by unstable lifestyles and erratic/dramatic behaviour.

Personally,I think Leo shows symptoms of all(since Cluster B's and other Clusters have an overlap) and as a person with multiple HC'S who is also NOT licensed, it's hard for me to choose exactly what to identify Leo as.

He is histrionic, he enjoys being the center of attention and feels uncomfortable when people are not entertained. He could be sociopathic(since psychopaths have complete absence of bonds apparently, that's why I didn't identify him as this), low empathy towards his brothers and others, he's full of himself to mask any and all insecurities, and he's afraid of being emotionally abandoned.

But at the end of the day, I think Leo might be sociopathic(or at least have sociopathic tendencies) and have NPD. The reason why I don't believe he has BPD is because he doesnt seem to have the same mood switches commonly shown in BPD(I'll compare his behaviour to his brothers later!). OF COURSE, mental health looks different in everyone, and he could still have BPD, maybe quiet BPD instead of 'standard'. Same thing with HPD. Histrionics tend to 'over-react', and want attention on them at all times. But Leo isn't especially clingy, and while he is dramatic, I'm not sure if it's out of him actually being emotional.(So his dramatics would be an example of him having an overlap between the four personality disorders.)

Now, why do I think Leo has NPD and or ASPD?

APSD and NPD have both been researched, and, according to peoples experiences, seem to stem from genetics and childhood trauma. We already know Splinter was/is quite full of himself, which could've been a symptom, and maybe he has a personality disorder, but for the sake of not feeling like analyzing him today, let's just say this was brought on by childhood trauma.

We KNOW Splinter was neglectful, and that the brothers are all dissatisfied with their relationship with him, and how he raised them. Their normal is being ignored by their father. Leo constantly seeks out other father figures, as well as trying to act similar to Lou Jitsu to try and impress the one he has. This already makes Leo not have the emotional support he needed growing up. Being ignored from time to time by a parent, and then them randomly deciding you're important, is very hurtful(I know from experience). Other factors could be them growing up in the sewers, isolated. They never had any social interactions besides each other and basically the media to know how to act, and let's be honest, Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim both seem to be pretty egotistical characters. If Leo was looking up to them, he most likely mimicked the way they behaved. We see in the series and in the movie his brothers,or family in general, don't especially trust him, which would've filled him with self doubt, and therefore, double down.

In addition to this, Raph is known to be overprotective. He lived a life with little to no boundaries. There are SO MANY factors adding up to his personality developing in a different way.

In the series and movie, we see that Leo has many insecurities and masks this with his dramatics and being full of himself. Does this mean he ACTUALLY feels this way? Maybe he feels like this at some points, but this doesnt mean he feels like this all the time. Guess what personality disorder(s) deal with this? That's right! Cluster B!

When Leo feels insecure, targeted, attacked, etc, he doubles down. He acts out. He tries to sway what's happening the way he wants it to go. He builds walls. He might even lash out at people, and say hurtful comments. When Leo is confronted about his tendencies, those walls go up, and he starts trying to distract whoever. if he feels REALLY self doubtful, like seen in that one ep with Splinter and Leo infiltrating Big Mama's, he gets upset and questions why, after EVERYTING, why dont thry trust him? Why are they mad at him for no reason? He didn't do anything, right? They're the ones who are being weird, not him.(this is also an example of how Leo distorts his reality).

In Cluster B(well, alot if not all personality disorders technically)people who have said disorder(s) may also lash out if they feel offended. This doesn't mean just because they feel perfectly attacked. In the movie, Raph gets kidnapped by the Kraang because Leo was desperate to get the key(to prove his self worth?). Leo goes into a moment of hysteria, I think the character term is. He has a anxiety attack. He's lost his big brother, and all he got was the key. He's a fucking failure. And who is the reason for this failure?

Casey. Leo immediately goes after him, blocking everything else out and fighting his brothers just to attack him. When April asks 'so you just, left Raph?' Leo pushes the blame away, talking about how he left himself. He blames Casey, because he knew, he had to knew, and he just let Raph get hurt. This seems like a mixture of him lashing out because of both his own attacked ego(since he couldn't preform the task fully) and being upset because Casey hurt someone close to him(which I'll go into later ToT).

Throughout the film(and series) Leo constantly strives for attention/affection. At least on the emotional side. He keeps quoting Casey, and when finally confronted with the fact he isn't 'the best', he reflects, and then sends himself in the Prison Dimension later on(and he most likely thought/knew, he wouldnt be making it out. He sacrificed himself for everyone to be happy, to prove he was worth something, that he could be a hero, etc). In the series, Leo constantly makes jokes and stuff to make everyone pay attention to him! In one episode, the Sydney one, Leo is trying to a do a trick, but he instead crashes, straight into the wifi! And he blames Donnie, for putting it in the spot, not on himself, because why would he be blamed? Donnie should know not to put stuff where they don't belong. It's not his fault.

Another thing, Leo refuses to be wrong about almost anything! And I can see how it could be frustrating,if no one EVER believes you. But sometimes, Leo was wrong, but he still refused to listen to anyone else just because he had to 'prove something'. I feel like at some moments, he does feel maybe guilty about his inability to listen and learn, but for the most part, he believes he's right all the time and everyone else just can't be unless they agree with him.

Yet another symptom is a general lack of respect for authority. Once again, throughout Rise, Leo questions Splinter's authority and Raph's, even if it is a bit subtle. Even in the Hidden City, he's enthusiastic about Senor Hueos's past. Yes, it's cool he was a pirate. But also, pirates say fuck authority. I feel like he doesn't even care enough to be in authority. He trusts his brothers, Raph, at least, he trusts them to a slight extent to have good ideas or whatever. But more often than not, he thinks they need guidance. He could feel uncomfortable by directly being in charge until his character development. So, he let's other people 'run the show', while he does stuff in the background. He doesn't care enough to fully be in charge, but if a plan is stupid, he's gonna say something(a lot of EPs highlight this, like Donnies Gifts, Mystic Mayhem, the episode where they frst meet Big Mama, you get the point lol!) And in Snow Day, Leo can be seen writing down all the rules, which I'm going to take as him waiting to break/bend/loop them later on XD

AND OMG, I've mentioned this a lot already but Leo is so fucking insecure! Like seriously 😭😭😭😭 his whole persona of being the 'face-man' quite literally means he has little to no personal sense of self. He's fucking insecure, he masks, he feels like he's nothing with his brothers. Face man literally is barley a part of the team, it just means he shoes off to people and entertains them! And this guy, when someone doubts him, he gets so upset 😞 enough abt this point tho, since I've ranted enough on it already!

Fucking. Favorite. People. Contrary to popular belief,you dont have to have BPD to have a favorite/fixated person, or have one, or have them be a romantic interest. For Leo, I think his favorite people would probably fluctuate around his family. If I had to choose a specific one, then most likely Raph. I would say Donnie, but I just don't feel like he 'looks up to him' as he does to Raph. Raph is the big brother, who they look to for guidance, and to handle everything. Without Raph during the movie, that was the only time Leo was actively trying to fix his behavior. He sees Raph as a little dumb maybe, sure,but I genuinely think he finds him VERY important, a slight exception to that authority thing, etc.

Next point, little to no empathy! Leo is very sarcastic, maybe more than Donnie. He can be very, very patronizing towards others in certain situations(like the Repo Mantis ep where they were looking for the Mystic Metal!). There are some points, yeah, where Leo shows empathy ("that lady in a wheelchair walked! ", having a pillow with Donnie's logo, apologising to Raph for everything's he's done-) but I think some of those points are either him masking, being overdramatic about how he actually feels(which could be way less intense) and maybe just actually feeling emotional. Having ASPD/NPD do NOT mean you can't feel emotions, a common symptom just happens to be little to no empathy! And I feel like Leo acts like this on enough occasions for it to count.

Leo iis proud, loud, and shows off, but since I've already said this part so much I won't go deep into it ;-;'.INSTEAD, let's talk about Leo being manipulative! This is another point I've mentioned, Leo swaying things or people to go the way he wants. I don't think this makes him bad. He might not even realize he's doing it sometimes. (He's also a teenager, which I have to mention later ToT) People with Cluster B may tend to manipulate others, but this is due to the way their brain works, and shouldn't be used to demonize them, especially since untreated Cluster disorders are very self destructive and hurtful to the individual. Some if not most people with NPD/ASPD might dream of manipulating others, or already do so. Once again, this doesn't make them bad.

Risk-taking, but hating consequences. Leo loves risk taking. He can be impulsive. He skates in a 'high crash area' where a spread of food is out. He takes off his suit just because he wanted to breathe, knowing that there was a wild sick Splinter running about. He throws himself into the Prison Dimension 😭😭😭😭 but one of the things I think that separate him from his brothers, is that he maps stuff out(kinda like April). He knows the risk, he takes the risk, he's reckless because he's BORED and wants to have FUN. And sometimes, if the risk isn't good enough, he says fuck it and doesn't go for the reward:AKA, adrenalin, dopamine, whatever good brain chemicals you can think of that make you be like 'Woo, fun! '? That's what he's chasing.

Okay, iI'mma compare Leo to his brothers :^ now. Well, specifically his moods. While his brothers, might be prone to breaking down, getting easily upset and angry, ETC, Leo is way more calm. There's a lot of specific instances in the show of his brothers losing their cool, but Leo rarely does. He just keeps the mask up, and if he's mad, he's mad. But sometimes, even when he's 'mad', he's still running off that rush that comes from it. This isn't a specific symptom or anything, I just wanted to compare how their moods are different, since I was like'Wait... Wait a minute? '

Final thing(for now >:}). Leo is a teenager. Personality disorders form, yes, but since he's a teenager, hormones can easily mimic symptoms, and a few assumptions and symptoms doesn't mean having the disorder. But, based off this stuff I mentioned and more, I think he might be a sociopath and maybe vulnerable NPD. If I used anything incorrectly, or worded it wrong, or misinformation, please let me know! I know Cluster B's are all heavily stigmatized and seen as abusers. I don't see everyone with Cluster B as an abuser, nor do I think Leo is an abuser. I don't think any of his traits that come off as 'bad' ruin him as a character, or means there is something wrong with him. I recently saw a few posts, and felt motivated to finally make this.💔

[chuyin-weilai]

the first parabola audio drama drops tomorrow in a few hours so here are my preliminary thoughts about the members

Mizuki

honestly I feel like this says enough. Jesus fucking Christ girl

I think the dichotomy between the groups (or at least their leaders) reason for doing acapella is interesting: parabola in it for "success" and to achieve heights in the music industry while temarizawa is in it just for the passion of it all and for the bonds they strengthen with each other (see airi's quote). It reminds me a little of the contrast ave mujica and mygo's philosophies/worldviews.. idk if utamille's writing is gonna get AS insane as avemygo (because Yamanaka could if he really wanted to/was able) but you see the overlap right...? I'm curious to see how that difference leads to conflict though: Mizuki has that line in the trailer that's like "you all that aren't even thinking of aiming higher" (my Japanese is VERY amateurish [please keep that in mind throughout the rest of this post lol] but I think that's the gist), I initially thought she was addressing the rest of parabola but it'd make more sense for it to be directed to temarizawa instead...she knows airi and reirei already but that was when it was just the two of them, so I'm looking forward to how their dynamic changes. speaking of conflict: her "that youth that those girls hold so dear just might be destroyed" line (also from the trailer) is so fucking funny to me like girl you are ~21 years old beefing with a bunch of HIGH SCHOOLERS!!!!! airi and rei are the oldest but they're still 17 like those are some KIDS. not saying she's ~weird~ or anything like that, I just always find the whole "rival group is all adults and main group is all teens and there is a lot of tension and antagonizing between them" trope a riot so im honestly kinda looking forward to it. again I don't know how intense utamille is gonna get but (pointing to her CV being moeka koizumi) we should all be a little scared of her guys. "Hobby: finding young people with potential" YOU NEED TO CHILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zoe:

hmmm. honestly she's the one I have the least thoughts on? Like my least favorite member in Temarizawa is rei (not as in I dislike her I just like the other members more) so like....I guess i lean away from the more "responsible" types. Although I'm just now realizing that she's the first Yamanaka character that's fully foreign and not of mixed descent like muu/stork/azuma (I still haven't played caligula2 so I'm not sure if there's anyone there), so I wonder if that's gonna come up at all

Kikka:

this sounds like a real reach but I have a theory that she's actually uta's older sister...like ok listen. uta mentions having an older sister that is in uni (like kikka) and seems to live with just her dad, and not uta herself and her mom, so people were wondering if they had divorced....it would explain the difference in surnames because iirc in Japan when parents split up the children take on the names of the parent that they are in the custody of. and they have a naming scheme of 歌 in their given names, even though the reading is different! And the meanings of the first character in their given names are similar too:

Also 喜歌 is part of the word for 嬉歌劇 (comic opera) which is cool....overall her attitude feels like a contrast to some of the others like Mizuki and tama and closer to that of temarizawas like I was talking before. all very interesting

Tama

It's too early to try and figure out who's supposed to foil who but I feel like she definitely is one to Ururu, she's a successful and popular influencer while Ururu has like...40 subs on YouTube LMFAO. it looks like she's in charge of the arrangements? The system of 3 vocalists sounds so sick, I want to see how she conceptualized it! Also it would be funny if she only had the :3 face on when talking to her fans

Karin:

I wonder if she's supposed to parallel Kuma in that they don't talk.. although in her case it doesn't seem like it's due to insecurities BECAUSE of her voice. I love how they got an actual beatboxing player for her. I think the difference between her and temarizawa having a voice percussion and bass will be fun to listen ro

[neiptune]

Heeey ✨ I love the way you write kyojuro's feelings, it feels so genuine TT 💖💖💖

If you accept requests... you can write something about kyojuro feeling bad (although he doesn't show it) after telling his father that he is now a hashira, so he visits his s/o to tell her the news and she gets really excited and happy for him <3

She even prepares food for him to celebrate

(Sorry, my english is not good 👉🏼👈🏼)

Hello, dear anon! I sometimes accept suggestions (the word request puts too much pressure on me) and yours was too sweet not to be written! Sending you much love and please don't worry, your english was perfect 💖

a day worth celebrating

pairing: kyojuro x female reader

wc: 975

Kyojuro is sitting on his heels as he delivers the news to his father, does his best to disguise the shaking in his voice, the uneasiness of having his palms and back covered in sweat.

"You're a fool", are the harsh words his excitement is met with.

"You're a fool, and you're gonna die like one".

His face remains stoic as he respectfully bows to the man sitting in front of him.

"Please take care of yourself and Senjuro while I'm gone", is all he asks as his forehead rests on his overlapped hands.

The embrace his little brother gifts him with fills his heart with relief and maybe a little pride as well.

Cause he should get to feel a little proud of himself, right? He shouldn't feel humiliated because of his father's words, he shouldn't feel guilty and worried about leaving Senjuro alone with him. His heart shouldn't be so heavy in his chest as he kneels down to wipe his brother's tears from his cheeks, a gentle smile on his lips.

"I'll miss you", Senjuro is brave enough to do his best not to sob.

But I'm so proud of you.

Kyojuro smiles openly as he cups his face.

"I will visit often to bring you presents and check on your training, so please keep working hard!"

I love you and I believe in you.

It's almost sundown when he arrives at your estate, doorway suspiciously empty and silent. Your absence gives him a moment to collect himself, tu put his serene facade right back on: he is a Hashira now and won't ever allow himself the unforgivable act of burdening others with his pain or insecurities. Especially if "others" happens to include you.

"Y/n?", he calls while removing his geta sandals at the entrance of your house.

"Wait! Don't come in yet!", you yell and he freezes in place, confused.

"Is something wrong?", he asks, brows furrowed.

Your giggle fills his ears as he hears your quick footsteps approaching. The warm orange sunset light hits your face in the most beautiful way as you smile at him, giddy with excitement. He doesn't think he will ever get used to it, really.

"Don't say anything! Come!", you tug at his sleeve and he lets you drag him inside, his father already pushed back in a far corner of his thoughts as you take up all the space available in his heart and mind, as you always do. He takes in the sight of the table you have prepared, lips parted, eyes wide in surprise.

"Y/n, what's this?"

Did I forget your birthday? Did I forget my birthday?

"A little something to celebrate! Thought it might make you happy", you smile, excitement still coating your voice and pink cheeks.

Kyojuro clears his throat, silently panicking.

"My love, may I ask what exactly we are celebrating?", his question is cautious.

You look at him with a slight tilt of your head, incredulous.

"You, of course! You're a Hashira now!"

He blinks in confusion.

"Who told you?", he doesn't mean to sound so disappointed about you anticipating the news but the fear of his father sending a crow to you suddenly clenches his throat and stomach. What did he tell you? How did he tell you?

It's distracting, the way you take his hand and casually intertwine your fingers with his, gently stroke his wrist with your thumb.

"I didn't need anyone to tell me. I just knew".

It's solid, grounding, the way you place a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth and then wrap your arms around his neck.

"I'm so proud of you, Kyojuro. You deserve way more than this but I did my best, I cooked all your favorites", you whisper into his shoulder.

It's so easy for him to feel strong and oh so vulnerable at the same time when you're in his arms, he feels happy and does his best not to feel too guilty about you being such a fundamental presence in his messy, lonely, very-far-from-being-ordinary life.

"Thank you", he breathes, and sincerely hopes you're able to discern the devotion, gratitude, the entirety of the disarming love he has for you, in every vibration of his voice.

Your brows are suddenly furrowed in a very serious expression as you slightly pull away to inspect his gaze.

"I don't know what your father told you but I'm gonna need you to ignore it. Today is a wonderful day worth of celebration and I'm not gonna let him ruin it for you".

This time, Kyojuro doesn't ask how you know. By now, he is aware of the fact that he's simply gonna have to come to terms with the reality that you always know. You feel, you guess, you interpret, and you're very rarely wrong. You read him, all of him, in a way that could so easily scare him and yet just makes him feel valid. Significant enough. Your love gives him consistency, reduces any burden he decides it's his duty to carry, soothes his mind, fills his lungs, permeates his heart. And he is just so grateful for you.

"I accept your conditions", he smiles softly as his thumb lightly grazes your lips before he leans down to kiss them gently.

You're unable to hold back a grin.

"Wonderful. Now please sit down and let me serve you, Hashira-sama", you playfully bow and smile at his embarrassed chuckle, taking a mental note to make him laugh as often as possible in the days to come. For him, so that he forgets about the many concerns that always fill his mind. For you, so that the memory of what his laugh sounds like keeps you as much company as possible, now that he is about to be gone way more often than what you're used to.

[idiacide]

Man holy fuck, you're really good dude

I feel like I've hit the jackpot lmAo

Everyone is so in character, it's all straddling that line perfectly of Accurate characterization and Wish Fulfillment. It makes me so sad when people say that X twst character wouldn't be interested in romance or what-have-you. You don't go and make anyone mushier than they would realistically be, either. You take the character, as they are, into consideration first and just agsjdkfl. Ugh. It's perfect. You're perfect. Thank you for sharing your skill with us.

I really appreciate that, you��re very sweet. I’ve been interested in dating sims and x reader content for a really long time and its one of my favorite ways to do character studies. Toboso’s also just, really good at efficiently fleshing out characters and leaving drops of dynamics that make my brain start sparking. Also apologies for what’s to follow because evidently your comment just made me decide to drop a thesis on my character building ethos:

So far as “X wouldn’t be interested in romance” (as in, x would never care about a person like that), to me that take has always been really confusing in every fandom I’ve encountered it in. Sure, plenty of characters aren’t going to go in for a sappy, end of the world romance where you promise your whole heart and devotion to only each other. Looking at TWST specifically, I have a hard time imagining Floyd, Jade, Leona, or Vil going in for that kind of thing. The thing about all those characters, though, is they’re still capable of forming relationship connections. What connection looks like isn’t going to be the same for every single character, but that doesn’t mean there wouldn’t be real feelings and affection there. Instead of deciding who does and doesn’t like love its more interesting for me to assume that the character does love someone, and what that love tends to manifest itself as depending on the context of those feelings.

What’s particularly consistent for TWST characters is that all of them have a series of walls they’ve constructed around themselves to guard some core vulnerability from the world around them. Yes, even the upbeat ones. Kalim, for instance, has his title as his core vulnerability, and has his kindness and generosity as walls around that. I think what we’re shown time and again is that Kalim doesn’t like the distance that being the firstborn Asim son puts between himself and others, or the fact that there are so many people who hate him and want him dead for reasons that have nothing to do with who he actually is. As a result, he tends to go hard on being kind, friendly, and generous with others because he wants so badly for them to like him.  So the question then becomes, how does that interact with having an s/o, someone who you theoretically have getting closer to your vulnerabilities? Does he bury them in praise and compliments because he’s worried they might get scared off by that fear, or does he have a certain amount of insecurity about giving them things because that feels like pushing them back? These questions make for a really interesting push and pull and allow for the creation of conflict that feels natural without me having to make the reader insert too much of an OC.

Importantly, the core vulnerability is not the same thing as a character flaw (though it can overlap). Kalim’s flaws are that he’s frequently a little bit selfish and often steamrolls the needs and wishes of others in his excitement. His vulnerability is the fear that if he doesn’t make himself fun and likable, then all people will see is a prince that they’re jealous of. Riddle’s flaws are that he’s controlling, anal, and has a superiority complex. His vulnerability is that if he’s not Achieving, he must not deserve love and must be doing something very wrong. As a general rule in my writing, flaws are the responsibility of the character. No one is going to mother Riddle out of being controlling, he has to make the decision himself. The vulnerability, however, is something that the reader (or the characters friends!) has to work on with them. Its something so deeply rooted in insecurity and trauma that trying to talk themselves out of feeling it runs the risk of making it worse. I will never have a reader forced to do pep talks for Kalim’s selfishness, that’s something that he can and should control. But I will typically create scenarios which encourage the reader to affirm to Kalim that he is more than just his family, and that he doesn’t have to convince them to see him as a good and kind person.

All this to say. Interpersonal relationships, whether theyre romantic or very close platonic ones, are fun to write and engage with. People are like puzzle pieces a lot of the times. You’re never going to find someone without a few jagged edges. You’re never going to BE someone without a few jagged edges of your own. But with luck, patience, and a little bit of hard work. you can maybe find someone who’s edges fit right up against yours, just so.

[toast-is-ticklish]

You Are Enough. Pt1

Get ready for some massive self projection bitches lmao.

No actual tickles in this part, it's all set up. But part 2 will be up like immediately when I post.

lee! MK ler! Monkey King

Hopefully you guys like it 💖💖

___________________________________________

As MK sat in his room only one thought was going through his head.

Everything sucks.

His friends thought he was leaving them behind, no matter how much he trained and learned he still felt weak, he was no match for that freaky bone lady, he had no teacher to help him, and, and, and-

Monkey king was gone. On vacation. Why did that hurt so much?

He guesses he was scared. That he wasnt enough. That his mentor might think picking him was a mistake.

What made him fit to be a hero? Well that should be easy to answer. Awesome hair, heroic determination, and a proclivity towards making cool poses when he jumps off of things.

Arrogance. Stupidity. Naivety. Annoying. Loud. Nuis-

Okay that's enough self reflection for now.

Not a very good wrap for a hero, huh?

And now his mind is swimming with doubts. What if monkey king secretly hates him? Thinks he's just an annoying kid? Is disappointed in him? Is he not worthy enough? Has he not worked hard enough?

MK feels his vision get blurry and realizes he is crying.

Huh.

He feels insecure for it, but he just wishes Monkey King was here. To make him feel better somehow.

He groans and flips over on his bed, sulking. Unfortunately nobody was here, especially not monkie king, so he just had to pull up his big boy britches and get it together. No one is just gonna appear out of nowhere and magically fix all his-

"Kid?"

What.

"AAAGH! Why are you here!?" MK startled, falling off his bed in a panic and somehow landing face first on the floor. Why does he always land like that?

"Why are you astral projecting in the middle of the night? Waitwaitwait, were you gonna try and prank me or something because I..." Monkey King trails off.

His voice softens, "Oh kiddo. Were you crying?"

MK scrambles to wipe his eyes, trying his best to look very casual and also cool. "Uhhh no! Of course not! I mean I'm like, waaaaay to awesome to ever have a reason to cry anyway so why would that even happen? Nope. Neeeeeever. No way, Jose."  And suddenly hes rambling and his voice is weird and thick and all he can think is-

"Listen, MK, just stop for a minute-"

'Why is this happening to me?' He hears a voice, pushing out the words like its painful.

The voice is so...desperate.

The tone is despondent in a way that makes you think, 'Jeez. What happened to that guy?'

Its MKs voice.

He looks to Monkey King panickedly.

"MK I need you to listen to me. I think I know what's going on here. It seems like you subconsciously reached out to me using the astral projection and telepathy we've been using to communicate. And you're not fully in control of it."

"B-but! Why? And how can I fix it?"

"Well kiddo, the only reason I can think that this is happening is that you... arent okay."

MK looks away.

"MK. Please talk to me."

Monkey King reaches out a hand to the boy and looks so...genuine that MK thinks literally nobody could say no.

And so now here he is, sitting shoulder to shoulder with his mentor and idol on his bed met with a concerned look and an expectation to talk about his feelings. That's like top ten things MK hates doing.

"Uhhhm. I guess I've been feeling, like, kinda, insecure?"

It's funny how all the thoughts swarming his head shrink down to one little word. Insecure.

MK decides he doesnt like that word very much.

Monkey king sets a reassuring hand on MKs shoulder. "About what?"

"W-well-"

And suddenly MK is getting interrupted by his own voice, overlapping on a symphony of his own self doubt.

'Lazy' 'Arrogant' "Annoying' 'Naive' 'Stupid'

'Unworthy' 'Disappointment' 'Chose wrong'

'Not good enough not good enough not good enough-

It's so overwhelming. MK buries his head in his hands in a desperate attempt to just block out everything.

The thoughts are so loud he feels as though hes being crushed by his own mind.

And then it all goes quiet. And hes wrapped up in a certain monkey mentors arms. And it's just so warm and peaceful and safe that MK feels like he's melting and exploding at the same time as hot tears bunch around his eyes and streak down his face.

MK doesnt know how long that embrace lasts.

He's wrapped up in this blanket of murmured comforting words and the soothing motions of monkie kings hand on his back.

They stay there for a long while.

But you cant stay under a blanket forever, and MK feels bad for crying all over monkie kings shirt. Plus he needs to blow his nose like, so bad. Christ.

Monkie king doesnt pull away until MK does.

He decides to break the silence as MK grabs a tissue box from his desk.

"Listen kid, from what I can tell this is a pretty deep rooted thing, yeah? And I know words won't be able to fix anything. But I think that they can at least help."

The mentor continued, shifting around on the bed as MK sat back down.

"So let me start by saying that none of those thoughts we heard just then are true. Choosing you was one of the best choices I have made in my entire life. Or lives? Ever. Okay? And I have been around for a while."

MK looked at him suprised, reaching an arm up to the back of his neck.

"Actually?"

"Actually. And all that mean stuff your brain was prattling off earlier was so wrong. It should be illegal to be that off the mark. I'm considering arresting your brain."

MK let out a little wet chuckle at that.

"You are the smartest, kindest, most amazing kid I know. And what even was that about being lazy? You overwork yourself kid. Not underwork. I dont think that's even a thing."

"Thanks, Monkey king." MK was smiling a little at the praise, it was nice, but he couldnt really believe it. Though it made him feel a lot better.

"I can tell you're not really buying it. That's okay for now, I'm sure I'll drill it into your head somehow."

There was a brief pause.

"Hey, kid?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna tell you something really important."

He looked at MK seriously now, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"No matter what, you will always be enough. Even if you make the stupidest decision in the world, you are enough. You are not a disappointment to me. You never will be. Because you're MK and I-"

His voice softened as he looked MK in the eyes.

"I care about you. A lot."

A moment passes between them.

MK is tearing up again and doesnt know what to say. For once in his extremely talkative life.

"Welp! I think that's enough sappy stuff for me tonight, I am pooped!" Monkie dramatically yawns and stretches probably to make a point.

"Do you even need to sleep?" MK asks and ew his voice sounds all weird from crying.

"Nope! But it's fun! Anyway I promise I'll check in more often kid, I'm sorry, but I gotta go. Oh yeah! Before I go I wanna give you a new training tool."

He throws him a peach and MK scrambles to catch it as his mentor continues.

"Eat it. It'll help with the whole, drilling confidence into your head thing. I think you'll be juuuuuuust tickled by it!" Monkie king chuckles, "If you need it to stop say red. Anyway byeeeeeee!"

And now hes gone. Wow. That whole conversation is going to take a while to digest.

MK takes a second to cringe at the weird wordage.

"yOu'lL bE jUuUuUuUsT tIcKlEd bY iT bLeh blEh bLeh mLeH!" He says to himself in a stupid voice as he rolls the peach around in his hands.

The use of a safe word was concerning and made him worry it would hurt, but he trusted Monkey king. And so he took a big breath and chomped into the sweet fruit.

It tasted really fuckin good.

Huh. He kinda expected something to happen but he literally felt exactly the same as he did before.

[transwhorefinn]

I love albatrio so much. Even though they all have different traumas and backstories there’s a lot of overlap. They’re all so relatable and great characters with their own complexities. Their struggles are layered and dimensional.

Chip struggles with letting go of the past to focus on the people who are here with him in the present, wanting to be something else instead of himself, that faux insecure self-confidence to hide his insecurities that he will never be good enough as himself that in order to be Something he needs Arlin or Drey or the rest of the Blackrose Pirates. His unhealthy coping mechanisms, maybe his teasing of gill gives him some sort of superiority idk. In the beginning I was always like “haha bastard boy” but he’s been growing on me and I find him deeply relatable. His struggles with letting go is something almost everyone has to go through. Trying to find the balance between self confidence and narcissism. Trying to figure out who you are in the world, who you are in comparison to the people around you, trying to figure out if you will take the well worn dirt road or create your own legacy. Struggles almost every teenager can relate to.

Gillion struggles with similar things: his self worth, following this life that was laid out for him and do something for himself for once, I also do believe he has abandonment trauma. The choice between following authorities or taking the risk and do something different, dangerous, and something you might be shunned for. Living up to the expectations you were given and the ones you give yourself. Gillion’s expectations of himself are probably higher than any expectations the elders could’ve set for him. Everyone can relate to the struggle of balancing the things you want to do and the things you have to do, whether it be work vs leisure time or school vs childhood. His abandonment trauma is clear as day too. Putting up a tough act so his friends don’t see him as weak and leave him. I mean he was literally separated from his family. His reaction to Pretzel being gone. That comment he made in the BLOCK episode (“oh cool like when my parents dropped me off for training. You’ll come back though right?”). Not all of us have abandonment trauma but I’m sure everyone’s lost someone/something, had times where we needed someone but there was no one, or doubted our relationships sometimes.

Last but not least, Jay. She struggles with role confusion, again with the conform or do your own stuff, I’d say she comes off as the least insecure of the Riptide pirates. Her self-esteem never comes off as a way to make herself feel better than others or as an act she puts up to hide her flaws. Most, if not all her struggles come from her dad (no one is surprised). As someone with similar issues. Jay’s dilemma of her opinion about her dad feels so real and genuine unlike a lot of other portrayals ive seen. She doesn’t really hate her dad but realizes he isn’t the best either. She’s confused about their relationship and had a lot of difficulty deciding whether or not to cut him off, and I don’t believe Jay’s dad is intentionally being abusive (this is not me justifying anything he has done this is me explaining maybe the thought process) he likely grew up with this harsh mannerism of raising kids so it is just “normal” to him, he’s definitely scared to lose Jay as he lost Drey, emotionally he was not there for Jay but I highly doubt he even knows how to process his own mental/emotional issues. Too busy with his job to connect with his kids. Either way he still loves Jay (Just look at her wanted posters) to some degree. Jay probably knows this, but also knows his behavior wasn’t the best and can’t be excused. Letting go of family is hard and every little nice thing they do makes you question if you’re just overthinking and being insecure and every little bad thing they do makes you wonder where you’ll draw the line if you ever do. Cutting off toxic relationships (especially familial ones) is just like this. It’s not as simple as “this person is being bad i hate them and im leaving” because sometimes they’ll do something kind and it’ll make you doubt everything. Jay’s confusions and mixed feelings of her father, the difficulty of choosing to leave behind a toxic relationship, it’s all so real and very relatable as someone who struggles with similar issues. And ofc not everyone has daddy issues or whatever but I’m sure everyone’s been in a few relationships that just didn’t work out and you had to choose whether or not to let that person go.

Idk if anyone will read this long ass rant but have a nice day if you did, and remember that you aren’t alone. Peace.

[thunderheadfred]

❄️Todoroki HC's🔥

Aged-up pro hero Shouto. NSFW under the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - -

General

Might as well be tied with Bakugou for the #1 pro hero spot; they seem to pass the crown back and forth every other year. Everyone knows about their intense frenemies uber-rivalry. Well. Everyone but Shouto.

He's asked to speak at a lot of charity events. If he has time to prepare (and hire a speech writer) he is capable of stirring crowds to standing ovations. But if caught unawares... he gets cornered into hilarious on-the-spot interviews. He's been memed. Mercilessly.

He's an OP character, but unfortunately he rolled -500 in fashion sense. Eventually he wises up and hires a stylist. When he finally cuts his hair a slightly different and even more flattering way, it's a national event. People faint in the street.

Does god-awful sleight-of-hand magic tricks when he meets young fans, even though nobody asked him to. The second-hand embarrassment is palpable. But he keeps doing it. God, why does he keep doing it?

Has hovering arm syndrome in every fan photo.

Super into pop music. Not a fan of any particular group or artist, couldn't tell you the name of a single song. But every time he turns up the volume on the radio it's like... really? THIS? Probably pumps that shit through his hero agency to keep up morale. Has no idea what you mean when you tell him his music taste doesn't match his personality.

Similarly, he enjoys brainless romantic comedies and old silent movies. Doesn't laugh at jokes but loses it over physical comedy. Thinks Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd are the funniest people who ever walked the earth.

He's long and limber. Runs practically a hundred miles every day just to "relax." Doesn't even get sweaty doing it. A filthy yoga addict. He'll probably live to be 200 years old.

He can regulate his body temperature for quirk use but in everyday life he's always half a degree outside the Goldilocks zone. It drives him quietly insane; he has an epic love-hate relationship with his thermostat.

Has a therapy animal pet. Doesn't matter if it's a dog or a cat or a bird or an iguana or a teeny tiny rodent. It's the best-behaved animal in the country and speaks more languages than you. It has its own room and an instagram account with millions of followers.

Lives in a traditional Japanese estate that doubles as a national treasure. Probably has government-appointed snipers at the gate, and he's just like, "don't worry about it." You are afraid to touch anything. Fuck, don't even look at anything, just to be safe.

Has an outstanding personal chef who only gets to cook five things unless (thank fuck!!) company comes over. Impossibly picky eater. He rotates between a few "safe" foods and suspiciously side-eyes everything else. If you cook something unfamiliar for him it will be the most awkward meal of your life, because he'd never tell you he doesn't like it. But oh lord, just look at his face.

This clashes directly with his love of traveling. Frequently uses his hero earnings to visit exotic foreign locales over long weekends... but rarely tries the food.

- - -

Dating

A grey-ace demisexual disaster. You could count the number of people he's been attracted to on one hand. He falls madly in love every time and always gets his heart smashed to pieces when his crush can't magically intuit the meaning of his frigid longing glances and generically courteous romantic gestures.

Which is stupid, because he gets propositioned constantly. He can't walk out the door without being flirted with. People keep slipping him their phone numbers and he always directs them to his agency like a moron. It's a good thing he will never understand how attractive he is because that's the only thing keeping him from total world domination.

Conventional attractiveness does not compute. Shouto doesn't have a type, doesn't care that he's an eleven whilst you are merely mortal. He will fall for your personality above all else.

Probably falls head over heels because your schedules overlap in a completely ordinary way and he witnesses you doing something endearing or brave or most likely: utterly mundane.

Pick a favorite, because you're his favorite coworker, or his favorite barista, or his favorite random bystander in line at the grocery store. You made him smile once; then he spent the next three months daydreaming about your future together before you accidentally stomped on his foot, initiating your first real conversation.

He's big on healthy communication. HUGE. He goes to therapy and it shows. Will talk through literally everything to the point of delirium. Sometimes his dedication to resolving every issue right away can get overwhelming; sometimes you just need some frickin time alone. But it pays off, because the two of you have practically never have a "real fight." There's just no way for bad vibes to fester.

STILL, his family wasn't exactly... erm... verbally or emotionally supportive, shall we say. For that reason, he might not give you all the compliments you deserve, because it simply doesn't occur to him to do so. He assumes you know how he feels. If you're self-conscious or insecure in the relationship, it might take him a while to notice. But when he figures it out (or even better, when you tell him directly) he will make it up to you with enthusiasm.

Will take you on lavish dates. Spoils you rotten without actually intending to. He's clueless about money. If you wanted a sugar daddy, you just hit the fucking jackpot. But if the word valet makes you uncomfortable, perhaps suggest some romantic picnics instead. He can still go all out with the food and five-star location without making you see cartoon dollar signs.

Chronic Insomniac. Stays up too late watching YouTube every night. His viewing history is an incomprehensible blur of k-pop music videos, serial killer icebergs, and super girly crafty ASMR channels. When he's watching a video, he is unreachable. Please call back later and try again.

He's disgustingly cute when he sleeps. Doesn't snore, but drools. Sometimes the drool freezes and leaves frost trails on his face in the morning. Still sleeps with the giant stuffed cat pillow that his mother gave him when he was like, zero. He'll inadvertently suffocate you with it, and you will welcome death with open arms because awwwwww!!!!!

The first time he tells you he loves you will be after your traditional Japanese shinto wedding. You won't hear it again until you start a family. Honestly, it's a good thing he doesn't say it often and is always holding you when it happens. It's a knee-buckler.

- - -

Icy-Hot

I don't even need to say it. Shouto is as old-fashioned as they come. You will never open another door or pull out another chair for yourself as long as you live. He will ask before he holds your hand. He will ask before he kisses you. He will stop and check in if you so much as breathe funny during sex.

If you don't orgasm at exactly the same time while staring into one another's eyes, he'll consider himself a failed lover. God forbid you want him to pound you into the futon... cause you are going to have to present that scenario to him in writing first.

Physical intimacy rarely leads to sex. He loves cuddling, craves physical affection. He'll sprawl all over you and turn into goo while you hold him close. He's an amazing, astounding, phenomenally good kisser. And that's... nice and all... but sometimes you have to grab his face and say, "Shouto, I'm horny," before he's like so that's why you're currently dry-humping me?

Even if he isn't technically a virgin the first time (or the millionth time) you sleep together, you won't know the difference. He's a blushing violet. Every. Fucking. Time. This doesn't mean he's a bad lay, oh no. But there's always ten minutes of confused bumbling before he hits his stride and remembers oh yeah, I DO know how to fuck good.

Absolutely silent during sex. Focused. Intense. Sometimes you have to push him a little to make any kind of noise at all, just so you know you're pleasing him (oh don't worry, you are).

His cock is Just Right. Not to big or too small. Perfectly proportioned and symmetrical. Somehow pretty. Like a fucking factory prototype. It truly is not fair.

Gets handsy and restless at night, even if you both have work the next day. Seems to crave sex at three in the morning. You've given him more than one exhausted handjob.

Gets offended if you don't cum. Will go down on you for hours. Of course he uses his quirk to tease you. He doesn't typically use it during actual intercourse, but he's all about foreplay, and he'll use every tool in his arsenal.

His sex drive is completely fucking unpredictable. Sometimes he's all over you, other times he's an icy slab. His line of work leaves him busy and stressed on a near-constant basis, so you can't entirely blame his personality for this one. Just give him some time and help him take care of his basic needs. He'll come back around soon enough.

[tamagochiie]

soulmate au

synopsis. where the haikyuu bois can hear when their soulmate is singing (whether it be in another universe or theirs)

character roster. oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime, kenma kozume, kuroo tetsuroo, tsukishima kei, yamaguchi tedashi, sugawara koushi, daichi sawamura, hinata shoyo, bokuto kotarou, akaashi keiji 

genre. fluff

a/n. this has been in my drafts for over a month now, and i really wanted to write this properly after finishing up my finals... i saw a lot of tiktoks about this and i was  i n s t a t n l y  hooked. 

oikawa tooru —> it happens during his high at the final moments of the game; breaths ragged as sweat drips down from his face, the crowd chanting his name when he sends the ball flying over to the opposing court. his ego is flying dangerously close to the sun when the quiet hum of your voice has him jolt in place—feet completely glued to the floor. he'll try to brush it off and try to focus back on the game at hand, but there's a thrum of excitement in his chest when he hears you loud and clear.  

its a moment he's been waiting for, but out of all times, why now? his eyes will sweep through the bleachers, hoping to see that you might be close by, but the poor boy's out of luck. even more so, when the buzzer screeches in the stadium does oikawa gravitate back to reality, your singing no longer ringing in head does he realize he's cost the whole team their winning point. 

iwaizumi hajime  —> he's in the middle of a nap during lunch, ignoring his friends who're eating by his side; oikawa's persistent chattering drowns out the noise in the classroom. so he gets up and leaves, knowing full well he'll never be able to get the peace he deserves if he stays a minute longer. 

he threads his fingers through his hair, trying to subside his headache as he stumbles down the hall to look for a place to sleep. he'll eventually make a home out of a creaky wooden bench just outside the art room, settling uncomfortably on the fragile wood.

he'll miss it at first, thinking you were just one of the girls passing by. actually, he misses it completely by assuming it as such. but he doesn't mind it as it helps him fall asleep; he makes mental note to find you, making the mistake of assuming you're not anywhere else except here.

kenma kozume —> "who the fuck is singing?" is what kenma hisses as he clicks away, harshly pressing down on the keys in a switch motion. his lip caught between his teeth, brows furrowed into a deep line as the screen of his computer ; he's been streaming for hours with kuroo and levi.

kenma is not a believer of soulmates, and the boy dreaded the moment he'd have to hear your voice uninvitingly taking up room in the space he felt the safest: his head. as you sing to the top of your lungs, enjoying the high of a chorus, unbeknownst to you the effect it had on the poor gamer boy who had all the hours he spent playing go to waste, he's just been given more reason to hate you than to love you.

kuroo tetsuro —> a smile creeps across his lips when he hears you sing, setting his textbook down before he slumps against the wooden backrest of his chair. he's been wondering when he'd hear from you; he always made sure he was in a quiet space so he'd hear you loud and clear. he flutters his eyes shut, craning his head back as his body eases to the sound of your voice. you weren't the best singer, but to kuroo you were the sweetest sound he could ever hear.

tsukishima kei —> he has a sharp tongue, but who would've thought there'd be a day when he'd open his mouth to fire insults at certain blueberry boy only to have nothing—not even a crack in his voice—slip out. his mouth goes dry instantly as he stands there dumbfounded as  yamaguchi. somehow, the oh-so golden crown that usually rests well atop tsukki's head has fallen to the gentle sound of your singing.

though tsukki had always placed himself in a pedestal, looking down on other from where he stood, there was always a lingering insecurity that he'd never get a soulmate in this lifetime—or in any lifetime. so when he hears your voice in his head, there's a twinge of hope in his heart at the thought there's someone meant for him.

yamaguchi tadashi —>  he's blushing quite profusely, slapping his hand onto tsukki's mouth without giving the action as much as a thought as excitement overrides him, catching tsukki off guard. he can finally hear you, and he almost misses it if it weren't for his best friend's pride.

yamaguchi rests his eyes, fluttering them shut as he and his lanky friend stop in the middle of the hallway, not minding those who brush past him as he dwells in the sound of your voice.

"she's so beautiful," yamaguchi sighs, moving his hand off of tsukki's lips and onto his chest, "i wanna marry her."

"how can you say she's beautiful?" tsukki seethes, spitting away the salty aftertaste of his best friend's hand. "you haven't even seen her yet."

"with a voice like that, i already know she is."

sugawara koushi —> the amount of force he uses when he slaps his teammates on the back is the same amount of force that presses against his heart when he hears you singing, voice cracking ever so often as you try to reach the high notes. happy isn't a word he could describe the little pitter patter of feet squishing his stomach. happy is not a good enough word for sugawara to describe how he feels after finally getting to hear you sing.

she must really like this song, sugawara thinks to himself as mutes his teacher's chattering. he'll close his eyes, listening to you and your words carefully before scribbling the lyrics onto his notebook, keeping note to search the song later. it's a habit sugawara will eventually grow into every time he hears your voice, thinking he'll get to know you a bit better by listening to your favorite songs.

sugoi, he gasps in wonder, lips curving into a smile. its a soft ballad, foreign to his ears, but he'll mouth along to your singing and continue on with his jog.

daichi sawamura —> it happens in the middle of his morning jog while listening to music. he'll take off his earbuds, tapping against the plastic because he thinks his earphones one of his broken when your voice overlaps with the bands he's listening to. it takes him a while, but when he pauses his music, its only then does he realize what's going on.

hinata shoyo —> he sprints to kageyama, slapping him in the back while he's about to practice a toss, "i can hear her! i can hear her!" is what the sunshine boy screams, tugging onto the sleeve of his best friend as he hears your voice. "i can finally hear her!"

still clinging onto the material of kageyama's jersey, earning a grunt and a curse, hinata flutters his eyes shut and focuses on the sound of your voice. he doesn't understand the lyrics or the tune of the song you're singing, but its you—your voice that has his heart thumping against his ribcage, breaths hitching in his throat, drying his lips. the same high he rides in the middle of the game rises from the pit of his stomach and spreads a warm feeling across his chest.

and for the first time, the bright boy has something else to beam about other than a sport.

bokuto kotarou —>  his eyes dilate as his lips curve into a toothy grin, cheeks blushing a peachy color when he hears you, his soulmate, the one and only person he can finally call home. your voice isn't the prettiest nor is it the smoothest, but it belongs to the one he'll get call his—his whole world. he's spent his whole life imagining what it'll feel like when he hears you; maybe his hairs will stand on its ends, a tickle down his spine, or maybe he'll know what it feels like to forget how to breathe. But instead, he's learns what it means to be at peace, to feel the world turn beneath his feet as focuses on nothing but the sound of your voice.

he drops everything in his hands, his attention slipping away from the front of the class and onto you. he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, tuning out everything else as he listens to you stumbling over your words as you try to sing  properly.

cute, is the last thought bokuto spares before sinking back into his chair.

akaashi keiji —> its a small smirk that plays across this quiet boy's lips. there's a slight tug in his heart as his stomach folds into itself. the quiet mumble of your singing washes out the background noise of bokuto's shouting echoing the gym.  he shuts his eyes, fiddling with the ball in between his hands as he listens to you.

he'll bob his head to beat of your words, even humming a little once he's caught the tune. his teams watch him from the side, brows furrowed while a few mouths hang open. he looks strange, but akaashi is too invested in the moment he shares with you to think twice about what he might look like.

*i'm still not convinced that i can properly write my bbies from inarizaki, so until then, please bare with me hahu

[tiredassmage]

If you're still taking OC asks - Pride 5: How does your oc take pride in themself and others?

I will always take oc asks! <3 Thanks for sending one in! I'll do a mixed bag for this one, I think.

Shay is a bit of a prideful creature by nature - at least, that's probably how he'd describe himself if he had the patience or inclinations for literature. Mainly, this manifests in appearances - both physical and perceived, as in reputation and the like. Which is always a bit amusing considering his preferred position in battle is right in the thick of it and at the front, preferably taking the blunt of most trading blows to protect Airi and allow her to do her thing.

But get him out of a fight for long enough, and he can be meticulous about his makeup. He low-key paints his nails for fun. If anybody other than Airi really knew about this, he'd probably shrivel up into a raisin. Which means Y'shtola probably knows and teases him mercilessly about it.

Otherwise, Shay has always gone to great lengths to maintain a distanced and sort of gruff outward appearance as far as getting along with others. He's gotten better at opening up with people, but he still wears pride as something of a mask to keep most people from getting too close where they might see how he's been hurt.

As for pride in others, he still suffers from shielding and masking his feelings in that he still doesn't like big displays, and it's still rather rare that he'll feel so strongly as to say he's proud of something or someone. If Airi's lucky, she might catch him smiling for her. She's sure come a long way from the merchant's daughter terrified of ghosts. (Though she's still scared of ghosts. And Shay still won't let her live it down.)

Astor is your resident supportive friend. Arrogant pride isn't really his thing; at most, he's satisfied with himself, happy. His pride is when he sees he has helped, contributed, but he tends to defer accepting direct praise for any involvement or efforts. "I'm just glad to have helped," etc, etc.

He roots for people, always having been something of a bleeding heart. He's proud of Kiana, for example, for overcoming a lot of her fears and insecurities and watching her take control of her life to pursue her own dreams and goals. He will explicitly say he is proud of her and he's incredibly thankful he was able to take part in that journey. You can expect congratulations and hugs, if you'd like them, if he's proud, and probably lots of smiles. Astor would take you out to dinner or something for passing school things or whatever. If there's something to celebrate and be proud of, he'll be more than happy to celebrate with you. If that would happen to take the form of a night of Netflix, he would.

Tyr and personal pride don't tend to overlap much these days. There was a sense of pride in being an effective agent of Imperial Intelligence, and, to an extent, I think that lingers with him. Despite abandoning his loyalties to the Empire entirely and despite his deep feelings of betrayal (the rose-tinted shades of being an Imperial asset have been rather thoroughly tarnished over the years), I don't think he's ever quite moved past being 'Cipher Nine' entirely. It's an inextricable part of his identity as something or someone he strove to be for almost half his life, at this point. The people he worked closely with in Intelligence were like a second family to him, in a way, even if he'd never quite say it like such. They looked out for one another in between the risks of fighting the Empire's enemies and enforcing its laws on what was supposed to be their home turf. He was proud of that. He was proud that they got the job done, in part no matter the cost, and in part that he didn't believe in letting someone fall behind

But you'd probably never catch himself advocating for himself as a role model. He's not particularly proud, exactly, of the many things he's done in his life as a Cipher and he wouldn't promise anyone that he wouldn't bend, blur, or otherwise cross some of those lines again.

In short, Tyr's often a bit too caught up in trying to figure out life as a Cipher who survived the job way longer than he ever expected. When they tell you most Ciphers don't survive past year five, they don't tell you what it means for the few that do. No one ever prepared him for what life would be if he ever wasn't a Cipher anymore.

If he has any pride, it's in the Alliance. It's in the people that decided they wouldn't settle for fighting each other while the Eternal Empire threatened them all. The people that put their differences aside and their old lives away to stop the Eternal Throne. That's something he admires. He still doesn't believe he was really the right person to lead them there, but you bet he's proud that they made it. They did that.

In short, if it's someone Tyr is proud of, he'd almost certainly go under fire for them. And, not that everyone in that category would quite agree with the method, they're more than likely someone he'd lie for. He was basically a professional liar though, so, hey, what can you really say? Tyr is not one for explosive displays of anger, but he can be fiercely protective. He may share some quiet words of praise for a job well done. He likes to make sure his team knows he's there for them, for the good and the bad.

[wayslidecool]

what's up with Steals Chark?

so Steals Chark (reflexive pronouns, use the pronouns you'd use for yourself when referring to Steals) is an Alternate of Siobhan Chark that co-exists alongside her in the same reality. it's something she feels pretty self-conscious about, so she has basically made an effort to be as much unlike Siobhan as possible. Steals is going to be loud, in-your-face, and confrontational! she likes to do a little trolling! she'll bury herself under so many layers of irony, that when you peel them back, you just find more irony. but it's cool. it's what she wants. or at least, it's what she says she wants.

Steals is the kind of person so deep in her insecurities, that she's willing to push everyone away if it means being able to establish her own identity. maybe she's trying a little too hard, but if that's what it takes to solidify herself as her own person, then that's what she's going to do.

Steals's main friends on the Georgias right now are other Season 23 newcomers: Randy Dennis and Hiroto Wilcox. she bonds with Randy due to the overlap of Randy's genuine interests and her own maybe-ironic-maybe-unironic interests, and she bonds with Hiroto because Hiroto's kind of just looking for someone she can get playfully confrontational with. Steals and Hiroto get into bite fights and they both love it.

i think part of why Steals likes these two is sort of the fact that, no matter how hard she tries to push people away, these two genuinely want to spend time with her, and in a way it feels validating -- these are people that want to be with her for who she is, rather than just seeing her as "another, more different Siobhan". maybe she wouldn't openly declare herself friends with these two, but also i think Steals was one of the first players to check in on Randy when she got beaned in Season 24?

i've seen Steals/Nanci thrown around as a dynamic as well but honestly i kinda struggle to see their interactions, at least at the moment. like, yeah, they both kinda suck, but they suck in very distinctively different ways, and plus their main Circles don't really have a lot of overlap. i'd love someone to try and sell me on these two, though. i am a big fan of BIG GRACK, and i'm always down to find more situations to throw him into.

i think my FAVORITE character dynamic with Steals has to be with Frankie Hambone. i can't help myself, i am a sucker for character foils, and also Frankie's just one of my favorite Georgias players. Frankie is just such an honest, patient, and down-to-earth guy that he's willing to put in the time and effort to connect with someone like Steals, no matter how hard she tries to push him away. and ultimately i think it works! Steals might not want to be caught dead hanging out with someone she thinks is such a huge square, but she can't pretend she doesn't look forwards to Frankie's weekly Yu-Gi-Oh lessons.

feel free to keep asking questions about the Georgias! i don't have much better to do, and my infobox is always open!

[thewickedkings]

Between the Two of Us ~ Chapter 8

Masterlist || AO3 ||  Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

Summary: Jurdan High school AU. Rivals Jude and Cardan are forced to partner up for a history project, and drama ensues. Filled with banter, pranks,  an  unhealthy amount of pining, and Jude being clueless as usual.

Trigger Warnings: I don’t think there’s anything so far, but please let me know if there’s anything I missed!

~~~

A/N: This has minor spoilers for Knives Out, just FYI.

Jude’s plan to avoid Taryn for the rest of her existence was foiled the next day at lunch. Oriana had tried a new pasta recipe, and Madoc had made sure Jude and Taryn were downstairs for lunch. When Jude had first moved in with Madoc, days after her parent’s accident, Madoc and Oriana’s relationship had been an enigma to her. But as Madoc scooped extra pasta in his plate and Oriana smiled down at her food, Jude knew they cared about each other more than she knew.

Taryn shifted on the seat next to her, and Jude studiously focused on twisting her noodles around her fork, choosing to ignore Taryn. She wasn’t going to be petty about it.

When Taryn reached for the last garlic bread, Jude deftly picked it up, biting into its delicious warmth and ignoring Taryn’s irritated glance. Not petty at all.

“Girls, how was your party last night?” Oriana asked.

“It was okay, but Taryn really enjoyed it,” Jude responded casually, eyes not leaving her plate.

“I mean, Jude wouldn’t know, she left halfway through.”

Oriana’s watchful gaze jumped between them, and she asked, “Oh? Who did you get a ride home with?”

“Just a friend.”

Jude felt Madoc’s gaze on her, and she sank into her seat, knowing what was about to come. “Was it a boy? Who? Do I know him?”

“You met him the other day. Cardan Greenbriar.”

Oak piped in. “The boy from the soccer game. Vivi said you two pretend to hate each other, but you actually-”

“Anyways,” Jude quickly interrupted. “He just gave me a ride home because I didn’t feel like staying.” She wished Vivi were here so she could punch her.

“You seem to be spending a lot of time with Cardan, Jude,” Taryn said slowly.

“Well, Locke wasn’t around and I couldn’t find you either, so I had to get a ride with Cardan.”

“Who’s Locke?” That came from Madoc, who was suddenly very interested in the conversation.

“Jude’s boyfriend.”

Oak frowned into his glass.

“He’s not my-”

“But you like him, right?” Taryn needled.

What the hell? What was she playing at? Suddenly Jude was glad she hadn’t confronted Locke and Taryn yesterday, if only to be able to watch Taryn’s deceit and try to decipher it.

“We’ve only been on one date, okay?”

“So you’re leading him on?”

“Can you not?” Jude snapped.

The room went silent, and Oak stared at Jude with wide eyes over the rim of his orange juice. If she wasn’t so mad, she might have laughed at the ridiculousness of situation.

It wasn’t like this was the first time her and Taryn had fought. They were siblings after all. But it seemed everyone could sense the pure venom between them.

Madoc cleared his throat, clearly at loss for words. “Girls, I think…”

Taryn pushed her seat back, interrupting him. “I’m full.”

“Same here,” Jude said, and they both marched away in opposite directions.

 ~~~

Work the next morning was a welcoming distraction from her tumultuous thoughts. The morning drifted by as Jude took the occasional order and chatted with the Bomb. Sunday mornings were usually the slowest, and Jude loved the steady thrum of the café as the sun rose higher in the sky.

After her lunch break, the Bomb handed her a pink drink, gesturing for her to take it to the table in the back corner of the cafe. Jude scrunched her face at the sugary atrocity and the Bomb laughed. “Not everyone drinks straight up black coffee like you do.”

Jude’s reply was forgotten as she caught sight of the recipient of said atrocity.

Cardan sat hunched in the corner, a navy beanie slung atop his head and airpods in his ears. Jude’s brain went into overdrive, wondering how she was supposed to act around him. Friday night felt almost like an alternate reality, one where her and Cardan actually got along. And she didn’t know if they could exist like that now.

As Jude approached his table, she hesitated, taking in his appearance. His shirt collar was rumpled, as if he had thrown it on without a second glance, and his eyes were shadowed. His hands fidgeted with a pencil, charcoal smudging his fingers.

“Um, hey, here’s your pink drink.”

Cardan looked up from his laptop, startled, and one of his arms quickly moved to block his notebook from her sight. “I thought you didn’t work on Sundays,” he blurted, pulling out his airpods.

“Oh yeah, my schedule changed,” she replied, playing off the insecurity that statement wrought. He didn’t have to be so obvious that he didn’t want to see her.

“Right.”

His eyes flickered away from hers, and Jude cleared her throat. “Right. Um- Let me know if you need anything.” She quickly turned around, mortification burning through her. She’d thought that Friday night had changed things between them, but she was foolish for thinking so.

“Jude, wait.”

She turned slightly, waiting. His jaw worked before he finally said, “Thanks. For the drink.”

She nodded curtly, not trusting herself to speak, before going back to the counter. When the Bomb saw her expression, she asked, “What happened?”

Jude sighed. “I don’t even know where to start.”

 ~~~

After Jude had recounted all the events since Friday, the Bomb glared at her. “You let me ramble about my crappy professor and my crush on Garett all morning while you were sitting on all this?”

“I didn’t know how to bring it up…?”

The Bomb sighed. “I do not miss high school.”

“Just… help me.”

“Okay, first of all, Locke is a douchebag. Second of all, Taryn is also a jerk, no offense. And third of all, why did you go out with Locke instead of him?” The Bomb’s eyes glanced towards Cardan meaningfully.

“It’s not like that. We haven’t even been civil to each other until Friday. It’s… complicated.”

“Sounds like a whole lot of excuses to me.”

“You’re one to talk.”

The Bomb ignored the jab. “Me, Van, and the Ghost are going to the movies after this. Come with us and invite him.”

“Wait, what? How’s that going to help anything?”

“Come on Jude. It’ll be fun. I want to meet him and see what his deal is. Plus, he looks like he needs some cheering up.”

Jude watched as he rubbed a hand against the tension in his jaw, and something inside her gave. He had cheered her up on Friday, so she would only be returning the favor.

“Okay, fine.”

 The Bomb rolled her eyes. “You’ll thank me later.”

~~~

Two hours later, after her and the Bomb closed the coffee shop for the evening, Jude found in the food court at the mall with three of her coworkers that might be becoming her friends and a guy who had, until a week ago, been her nemesis.

Despite Cardan’s initial hesitation at her invite, he accepted after confirming she wasn’t just trying to prank him.

Jude had spent enough shifts with them to be comfortable with them, and she watched warily as the Bomb introduced them to Cardan.

“This is Cardan, Jude’s… friend,” she settled on. Cardan’s fingers fidgeted with a loose thread on his hoodie as he gave an awkward wave. “And this is the the Roach, aka Van, and the Ghost.”

At Cardan’s confused expression, Van and the Ghost began to explain the backstory, sentences overlapping as they cut each other off in their efforts to explain each nickname.

The three of them began to walk ahead of Jude and the Bomb, and Cardan shot a wide eyed look behind him at Jude. She grinned. Even she couldn’t keep up with the Ghost and Garett’s endless bickering. If it weren’t for the sharp contrast in their features, she would’ve thought they were siblings.

The Bomb hooked her arm through Jude’s as they lined up for the pretzel cart while the three boys wandered off to browse the movies.  “I told you it’d be fine.”

Jude rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”

After they secured their snacks, they joined the boys in line for tickets.

“You might want to hide that. They don’t let you take in any outside snacks.” Garett gestured to the pretzel.

“Crap, okay.” When she realized she didn’t have any bag or clothing bulky enough to hide her pretzel, she shoved the pretzel at Cardan, who was wearing a black jacket. “Hide this in your jacket.”

Cardan raised a brow. “Only if you share.”

“I asked you if you wanted one!”

He shrugged, stepping back. “Fine, then. You can smuggle that in yourself.”

Jude grabbed his jacket and shoved the pretzel inside, mumbling, “I hate you so much.”

“So you keep telling me.” His hands were warm as they closed over hers, gently grasping the pretzel out of her grip.

When she pulled back, the Bomb, the Ghost, and Garett all looked at them with varying expressions. The Bomb looked much too smug, Van confused, and the Ghost thoroughly entertained.

“So you two are… friends?” That came from the Ghost.

Jude felt a flush warming up her neck, forgetting that they had an audience and just now realizing how flirtatious their interaction would seem to someone who didn’t know them.

Cardan’s eyes glinted humorously. “It depends on her mood.”

The Bomb snorted and nudged Jude. “I like him.” Van’s expression tightened for a fraction of a second before clearing. Jude filed that information to think about later before making her way to the ticket counter.

“Let’s go watch this movie, losers.”

 ~~~

“I aspire to achieve her level of pettiness,” Cardan whispered into her ear as the credits to Knives Out rolled in. Because of course he would be a movie talker, whispering his opinion every five seconds.

“I think I like evil Captain America.”

“The blood on her shoe!”

“Is it just me, or is this dude’s accent getting really annoying?”

His warm breath against her ear left her feeling restless and jittery the entire movie.

They got up as the faint lights illuminated the room, making their way to the exit.

Van was giving the Bomb a full analysis of the subtext of the movie, and the Ghost rolled his eyes at Jude from behind him. “Such a nerd,” he mouthed and she snorted.

“So, out of ten, what did you think?” asked Cardan.

“A solid eight.”

“You’re just mad you didn’t solve it until the end.”

“I would have if you didn’t keep interrupting my concentration every five seconds.”

The Ghost laughed. “I’d dock a whole star because that dude’s Southern accent was terrible.”

“A donut hole in a donut hole,” Cardan said, mimicking a line from the movie in his own attempt at the accent. She snorted a laugh, and Cardan’s eyes brightened.

The group of them made their way to their cars, their voices loud and bright against the chill of the night. Garett had his arms around the Bomb’s shoulders in front of them, and Cardan and the Ghost joked from either side of her. A happiness flowed through her veins that could only be found after leaving a movie theatre, a sense of dreamy optimism and possibility.

Before she knew it, the Bomb and the Ghost were making plans for the next week. Cardan shot a hesitant glance towards her, his hands burrowing into his pockets, and Jude returned it with a shrug and a grin. And so Cardan agreed, and then so did she.

After the Bomb dropped them both off at the café so they could get their cars, he walked her to her car. He leaned back against her car, hands in his pockets. “So… those are your friends.”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t expect you to be friends with a bunch of college kids.”

Jude scowled. “Why? I’m cool enough.”

“I never said you weren’t,” he replied, lips curving up in a smile, but then his expression sobered, eyes flickering to the pavement below. “Thanks… for inviting me out with your friends. You didn’t have to.”

“I know. But I wanted to,” she let herself admit, because something about Cardan in that moment was oddly vulnerable.

His hand reached foreword and tucked a strand of hair that the wind had pried loose behind her ear, his fingers lingering on her cheek. “Jude, I…”

The shrill tone of her phone interrupted him, and he withdrew instantly before gesturing towards her bag. “You should get that.”

“Yeah, okay.” Except now she really wanted to know what he had been about to say.

He watched as she got in her car and shut the door behind her. She mouthed bye before picking up the phone. The streetlight casted shadows over his figure, and then he disappeared into his car. Once he was out of sight, she raised her palm to her cheek, still warm from the memory of his touch.

~~~

A/N: I didn’t really edit this as much as I usually do and just went with my first draft of this chapter because I haven’t updated in so long, so sorry if it’s kind of bad lol. I started overthinking the whole fic and feeling like I should be planning a lot more than I do, but I realized that this fic was more for fun so I’m kind of just going to go with it and hope you guys like it. Anywayssss, I plan to update a lot once my semester finishes in two weeks, so look out for that!

Thank you so much for reading <3 I’m still amazed that people actually enjoy this so yeah :) Let me know what you thought in the comments! I LOVE it when you guys comment!

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[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Monsters in the Closet

Title: Monsters in the Closet

Summary: “You’re so much nicer when you’re bigger.” 

 Roman knows he can’t change the past. He can’t change the way he treated Virgil horribly, driving him to feel the only way he could be accepted was to be the villain of the story. But he can sit there and feel guilty knowing he is not worthy of any of the trust this young Virgil has placed in him. 

(Part of the Tiny Virgil verse, takes place after An Itsy Bitsy Nightmare)

Word-Count: 2.7k

Pairing: Brotherly Prinixety

Warnings: Guilt, Panic/Anxiety, Treating Someone Wrongfully in the Past, Deaging, Hurt/Comfort

This part of a very late birthday present for @theeternalspace! I’m so sorry this took so long, please forgive me and I hope you enjoy! :)

-

Roman lets out a sigh and opens his eyes. Virgil is still snuggled close to his chest, asleep again after waking up what appeared to be a horrible nightmare. Roman can’t find himself to fall back asleep. His mind refuses to settle, refuses to let go of what Virgil said to him moments ago. 

“You’re so much nicer when you’re bigger.”

The words rumble in Roman’s mind like that of a great and fearsome thunderstorm. How could it not? All the more confirmation that regardless of the unfounded trust young Virgil placed in him, he’d still expected to inevitably be treated terribly.

And that? The guilt of that stings deeper than any sting of the blade or a bandersnatch’s ferocious bite.

It also makes him wonder what exactly the Ankle-Terror thought was going on. Kids aren’t stupid. Naïve, yes, but that’s different from being stupid. They’re creative and innovative in ways adults couldn’t dream to be. Plus, they tended to love engaging in-depth conversations about Disney. 

Sometimes, Roman misses the days when Thomas was a kid. Back when they were free to run around in the backyard and reimagine the swings as a spaceship or the underneath of the trampoline as the lair of an evil sorcerer. Back when they weren’t bound by inane things such as time constraints and the logistics of translating an idea into a real-world possibility. 

He could get Thomas and the others roped in a fantastical make-believe for hours. Weeks even of stretching an incredible imaginary world to its limits. The only things that ever stood in their way was the outside forces of school, parents and bedtime.

Nowadays, the reminiscing with a tinge of regret. There always had to be villains to fight, you see. An evil mad scientist. A corrupt king. A greedy dragon. The list goes on and on. He never ever played the villain. He’d always cast himself and Thomas as the heroes. Logan and Patton were the supporting stars. Virgil and the rest? The villains through and through. 

Virgil at this age would be used to this treatment. Rather than in his rightful heroic role as Protector, Defender, Watcher of All Perceived Threats--he played roles such as a wicked sorcerer who cast fear and disgrace upon the entire kingdom with his heinous sorcery.

He took to the roles without much grumbling. Oftentimes, he didn’t perform to young Roman’s expectations. Roman would chastise his performances, critiquing every bit. He wasn’t ever scary or evil enough for a Side responsible for making Thomas scared of monsters under his bed.

Virgil would also veto actions such as climbing super high up a tree and using it as a crow’s nest for a pirate ship. Much to Roman’s dismay, the others would side with him. Logan because Thomas could break a bone if he should fall and Patton because their parents wouldn’t approve. Thus making Virgil a major downer at times in Roman’s eyes and all the more deserving of the villain title.

It wasn’t until Thomas was older, closer to middle school, that Virgil started lashing out. He refused to play along, slinking off to sulk in his room. His influence had also grown and suddenly it wasn’t just monsters under the bed anymore--the monsters were everywhere. Homework, Teachers, Friends, Family. Roman worked overtime to help Thomas escape to worlds unfettered by these fears.

Of course, back then, he presumed this was Virgil fully showing his true colors as an antagonist. Thomas himself believed it, wishing vehemently for Virgil to just disappear. It was Roman’s responsibility, nay his purpose, to make Thomas’s dreams and desires come true. He was the Fairy Godmother to Thomas’s Cinderella. So for years and years he’d pursued this dream, desperate to make Thomas happy, proud even.

Now, he knows better. He knows that Virgil is more than just Anxiety, just like Roman and the others are more than what their title implies. He is vigilant, he keeps Thomas safe from external threats. Sometimes he can be overzealous, but he means well. And shutting him out isn’t the answer. It never was. 

With all that in mind, he wonders if the Boy Terror thinks this is one of Roman’s elaborate make-believe games. Roman could easily picture a younger him coming up with a make-believe game involving himself and the others being adults. True, Thomas back then liked envisioning himself as a kid defeating the evil dragon like kids his age did in the media he watched. 

But all kids at some point wonder what it’d be like to be an adult. They imagined themselves in the most exciting professions that made a real impact on the world. Then they’d grow up and very few of them made it to such professions.

(Except Thomas of course. Roman is incredibly proud of him and his accomplishments as an Ex-Viner turned Youtuber. Yes, they are still far from achieving feats such as Hollywood or Broadway, but still! For a while Thomas had to settle for a real, sensible job such as a chemical engineer. While science interested him, it didn’t drive him the way that creative pursuits such as singing and acting had. Thomas is lucky to be able to have a platform to do what he loves. Roman tries reminding himself of this during incredibly rare moments of insecurity.)

Kid Fright must be ecstatic about this. For possibly the first time in his life Creativity is including him in a game without making him the villain. Adult Virgil doesn’t talk much about the past--the few times Roman has tried to breach the topic it’d been an instant shutdown. 

But Virgil has always cared for them, even before they’d all realized this. He must’ve taken any part Roman gave him out of a desperation to be with them and keep them safe. It sickens Roman just thinking about it. He doesn’t know how Virgil stayed strong for so long. Roman doesn’t know if he could’ve lasted a day in Virgil’s place.

He is probably also terrified and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Regardless of his age, Virgil always expects the worst out of any scenario. Even now that’s been a year since he’s been accepted among the core sides that make up Thomas. He can’t help it, it’s in his nature. Roman can’t blame him for it. One year isn’t enough to undo the damages that the other twenty-nine years caused.

One thing is for certain: if he does think this is one of Roman’s make-believe games, he must think Thomas is still a kid. And Roman’s not sure if he should let Virgil know any different. In fact, it might be best to keep Virgil distracted while the others work to find the solution to this strange vexing problem. Because he knows Virgil won’t take it well to finding his host all grown-up. He thinks that none of them would in his place.

So he’ll keep Fall Out Kid safe away in the mindscape and continue being the Prince he deserved. He’ll allow Virgil to be the hero and he’ll play all the other roles. Sidekick, damsel-in-distress, villain--if he must. It’s silly, but he’s almost buzzing with excitement at all the worlds they could explore from within the common area. Cowboys, Spaceship, Space Cowboys. The possibilities are endless!

A small hand tugs at his sleeve, tugging him away from his thoughts altogether. He looks down at the inquisitive eyes slightly shrouded by a mop of dirty blond hair.

“Yes, little prince?” He says, trying to blink away the prickling sensation in his eyes. 

He refuses to cry again in front of the Little Shop of Terror. He knows he will have to confront his bubbling guilt and sorrow at some point, but for now he must push it aside. He is used to this. Being a hero means sometimes remaining strong and not showing vulnerability to loved ones.

“M’hungry.” Virgil murmurs into his chest, little arms wrapped around Roman’s neck. It’s almost endearing with how much he resembles a baby possum clinging to their mother. Roman isn’t used to a Virgil so physically affectionate. 

Virgil is like a feral cat. You couldn’t hug or pat him on the shoulder without warning. You had to ask and very rarely did he accept, even if it came from Patton. No, the best way is to let him initiate it. Let him lean his head against your shoulder, or his leg overlapping your own during a movie night. 

You also don’t acknowledge it and by not acknowledging it, Virgil then inches his way more until it grows into a proper hug. Then he would withdraw and promptly act like nothing  happened. Like you were to forget the interaction ever occured in the first place.

Logan has a theory that it’s because Virgil is the Fight-or-Flight instincts and physical affection lowers his guard in a way he isn’t completely comfortable with. Roman now has a theory that it’s a lot more heartbreaking than that. 

“You’re hungry?” Roman asks, attempting to steer his mind out of Despairing Drive and into Present Place. 

 A small growling noise occurs and Jack Smallington ducks his head down, embarrassed.

Roman isn’t entirely surprised considering that it’s been about eight hours since they discovered approximately five-year-old Virgil in the place of grown-up Virgil. Who knows how long he’d been like that, alone in his room, before that. Virgil also rarely eats so the poor kid probably woke up hungry. 

Roman feels so stupid. If it’d been Patton or Logan watching him, the first thing they would’ve made sure is if he was hungry. Because kid or not, it isn’t in Virgil’s nature to be self-advocating. That type of stuff freaks him out. Yet another reason Roman is completely unqualified to watch over Virgil. 

“Okay,” Roman breaths in, smiling, “thanks for letting me know, big guy. To the kitchen at once!”

With that, he hoists Virgil up, settling him on top of his shoulders. There’s a squawk of surprise and Roman’s almost worried until it turns into a gleeful giggle. When Roman lets out a neigh, pretending he’s a horse, Virgil’s giggles grow louder.

“You’re not a horse,” Virgil says.

“Neigh I am!” Roman says, “I am your trusty steed and we’re embarking on a perilous-but-completely-safe journey to the kitchen!”

He treks towards the kitchen, clicking his tongue in an imitation of a horse clip-clopping along. 

“Faster,” Virgil urges, resting his hands on top of Roman’s head.

“Faster?” Roman asks, almost stopping in surprise. 

“Yeah!” Virgil insists, “We gotta get there as fast as possible before any monsters come and eat us!”

“Never fear,” Roman says, “For I shall get us there before any monster even thinks of gobbling us up!”

With that Roman quickens his pace, ensuring he had a firm hold onto Virgil to keep him falling off. 

 “Faster, faster, faster!” Virgil chants in an anxious yet excited tone, “I think I see one!”

“Oh?” Roman turns his head back, “Oh, I see him too! Neigh, we better hurry!”

There isn’t an actual monster there. No sharp fangs or numerous eyes glaring menacingly in their direction. He can’t tell if Virgil is making up a game or if he actually believes there is one there. Either way, Roman is Creativity. If there’s one thing he knows best, it’s how to combat imaginary foes. Such as reaching the threshold of the kitchen.

With one great bound, he makes it onto the black-and-white checkered tiles.

“Aha! Now no monsters can attack us while we feast in the dwelling of this noble kitchen!” Roman grins, setting Virgil atop the kitchen counter before jumping up to sit beside him.

Virgil beams up at him, face wide with utter delight and awe. Roman is left dumbfounded at this. Even as a kid, Virgil had been very closed-off with his emotions. So shy and distrustful of everyone and everything. But here he looks at Roman like he’s some great hero or something.

 ‘How,’ Roman wonders, ‘how can you look at me like this when I’m the obstinate villain of this story?’

“Princey,” Virgil swings his legs, “won’t Dad be upset if he finds us sitting on the counter?”

Roman blinks. At first he thinks Virgil is referring to Thomas’s father until he remembers Patton also goes by Dad. For the longest time, Pat had even been insistent that was his name. In the way that young children believe their parents’ real names really are Mom and Dad. 

“Well,” Roman says, offering a pinky, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

“Okay.” Virgil hesitates before interlocking his tiny pinky with Roman’s.

“Excellent! Now what would you like to eat?”

“Ummmm, I--I don’t know.” Virgil bites his lips, eyes flickering around the kitchen. Roman’s heart squeezes at this. He should’ve known such an open-ended question would set his anxiety off. They’ve learned recently that it was better giving Virgil the option of clearly-defined choices rather than vague ones.

“Would you like grilled cheese or spaghetti?” He asks kindly instead. 

“Grilled cheese? With applesauce?” Virgil doesn’t meet his gaze, as if afraid Roman will condemn his choices.

Roman smiles, “Your wish is my command.” 

He could’ve just snapped the food into existence right then and there. A few years back, it would’ve been enough to suffice. But as much as the Sides influence Thomas, the same holds true the other way around. Thomas once saw a fanart of Patton cooking breakfast for the sides and the idea stuck.

 Now Roman could still summon fully prepared meals but they weren’t super filling. Roman didn’t mind too much; contrary to popular belief (Logan) cooking could be a very creative endeavor. As Thomas’s creativity he could make up steps to dishes and still have them turn out perfect in the end. He may or may not enjoy it simply because it frustrated Logan to no end. 

He hops off the kitchen counter, snapping a finger. Instantly cabinet doors magically open as the ingredients and the materials he needed floated out onto the countertop beside the stove. Okay, so he cheated a bit, but just because the others lacked a little imagination didn’t mean he couldn’t bend reality in a place where reality is inconsequential. 

Roman turns to Virgil, unable to hide his smile at Virgil’s gobsmacked expression.

“Here, you can help put butter on the bread,” He tells Virgil, handing him a butter knife.

Grilled cheese sandwiches are a quick and easy meal. Before too long, Roman hands the kid a plate with a plain grilled cheese cut in halves and a cup of prepackaged apple sauce. 

“Thank you,” Virgil squeaks out before digging in.

“Of course.” Roman says, resisting the urge to ruffle the Little Terror’s hair. Instead he takes a bite of his own grilled cheese. Admittedly, he went a bit overboard with his own grilled cheese sandwich; three different types of cheese with lettuce, tomato and pickles. He isn’t quite sure if he’s a fan of the pickles but ah well. So it goes when in the pursuit of creativity.

They eat on top of the kitchen counters with relative silence. Roman hums a bit between bites of grilled cheese. Halfway through, he notices Virgil sending him glances when he thinks Roman isn’t looking. The kid squirms a bit in place, his face twisting in apprehension. 

“Is there something troubling you, Little Prince?” Roman asks at last.

“Princey, where are the others? A--are they okay?!” 

Oh. Oh, of course. Roman’s heart aches knowing how much Virgil worries and cares for everyone, even at such a young age. He’s so quick to reassure him that he doesn’t even pause to think about the phrasing of his words.

“They’re perfectly fine, rest assured. Logan is shut away in his room reading like the insufferable nerd he is and Patton is simply checking up on our dear Thomas--”

“Thomas?” Virgil breathes in, eyes bright with alarm. His shoulders raise to his ears like hackles raising on a frightened cat.

It is at this moment Roman knew that he messed up.

“Virgil, wait--” Roman pleads, attempting to place a placating hand on his shoulder. 

Roman is too late. His hand meets air as Virgil disappears in front of him with a loud crackle. All that’s left is a plate of half-eaten grilled cheese clattering to the countertops and a terror that shakes the entirety of the mindscape.