#i just love how much understanding and love there is between all of them
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ccsainzleclerc5516 · 3 days ago
Text
Co Parents To Lovers Again (part 2)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader
Warnings: fluff (smut in the next part)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
part 1
It's been three days since the unfortunate misunderstanding with Charles and you haven't heard from him at all since.
You were overthinking the whole situation that happened on Sunday and couldn't come to any proper conclusion. At the same time, you were sad because he thought you would bring someone else into your bed, even though it wasn't your shared bed anymore, but you couldn't believe that he thought so little of you after all the years you'd spent together.
And yet on the other hand, you were thinking like any woman, you were glad that he was jealous and that the very thought of someone replacing him bothered him because that only meant he wasn't over you and that he still wanted to make things right between you two. Basically, you were torn between your brain and your heart once again and it was just a matter of what would prevail between the two this time.
Even though deep down you knew you couldn't fight yourself. You broke up over some disagreements that when you look at things more closely weren't worth destroying your relationship and your little family. You were both stubborn, he was a little too possessive, you were lacking in understanding, parenting, you spent most of your time alone with Lou and everything came together and exploded.
Now that you look back on the whole year you spent without him, you know that as hard as it is sometimes to be with him, it's ten times harder to be without him. You realize that you both made a rash decision, but then again maybe it had to happen only to make you realize how much you need each other in every way possible.
It's Wednesday night and while you're preparing tonight's dinner and tomorrow's lunch, Lou is sitting at the dining room table drawing. Soon your cooking is interrupted by the ringing of your phone on the kitchen island. A strange feeling comes over you as you wipe your hands on a dish towel and look at your phone only to see Charles' name on the screen.
You want to answer the phone, but you don't want the conversation to end in an argument so before you pick up the phone, you take a deep breath and try to calm down and strengthen your voice so it doesn't sound shaky.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's me." He says it in a completely normal, calm tone and you're grateful for that.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Umm, I'm leaving tomorrow for the race so I was wondering if you could put Lou on the facetime so I can see her since I won't be able to have her for the weekend?" He asks.
"Sure, just let me switch to facetime."
Once you did, Charles face appeared on the screen and he smiled when he saw yours too. You tried to hide the blush on your face and quickly walked over to Lou putting the phone in front of her.
"Baby, daddy wants to talk to you" You said setting the phone in front of her and leaving them alone to talk.
Since the kitchen and dining room were connected, you went back into the kitchen and could hear everything the two of them were saying. You didn't want to eavesdrop, but you kinda did.
"Hey, daddy!" Lou exclaimed excitedly.
"Mon ange, what are you doing?"
"I'm drawing and-and mommy is cooking" She says.
"Yeah? What are you drawing?"
"I'm drawing you in a red car. See" She says putting up the paper in front of the camera for him to see.
"Good job, baby. It looks great!"
"It's for you, I will give it to you when you come get me" She says forgetting that she won't be spending the weekend with him.
"Thank you, baby, but unfortunately we won't be together this weekend because papa has to work, but we'll see each other next week, okay?"
"Oh.." She pouts.
"Don't be sad, we'll see each other very soon, okay? I miss you so much and I'm thinking of you all the time."
Your heart is completely softened by his words and the immeasurable amount of love he has for your daughter.
"I miss you too, daddy"
"Okay, baby. I'll talk to you soon, I love you."
"Bye, I love you too." She says waving her hand as he blows her a kiss.
You watch her from afar and see how her mood immediately changed when she heard that she wouldn't be seeing him. Shaken by emotions, you move closer to her and squat down next to her.
"What's wrong, bug?" You ask her.
She doesn't look at you but frowns looking down at drawing on the paper in front of her.
"I miss papa" She says, hear eyes filled with tears.
"Can I tell you a little secret?" You say and she nods. "I miss papa too." You whisper making her look at you.
"Would you like to watch him race this weekend?"
"You mean on the TV?" She asks.
"No, I mean how about we go and see him?" You suggest and her eyes light up.
"Really?!"
"Would you like that?"
"Yes, yes! And I can give him this!" She says excitedly and you chuckle at how sweet she is.
"Then we have a deal. Now, finish up your drawing and go wash your hands because dinner is almost ready okay?"
"Okay, mommy. Thank you"
Nothing can compare to the happiness you feel when you see your daughter happy. Both you and Charles would do anything for her, and that's why you decided to quickly run upstairs to your bedroom, turn the hoodie right side out.
When a print of an F1 car was visible on the black hoodie, you took a picture of it and sent it to Charles without any additional explanation, because you knew that everything would be clear as a day to him once he saw it.
After just a few minutes, your phone vibrated in your hands.
'Been looking for it for a while now..' Charles' message said.
'I really fucked up this time, didn't I?' He added.
'You kinda did.' You replied.
'I'm so sorry, y/n..'
'You're lucky your daughter adores you so much and you better send a plane for the two of us so we can make it to the race on time.'
part 3
@charlesgirl16 @aleatorio1234 @teamnovalak @watermelonslut @diaryofarandomkid @sunny44 @tempo-rary-fix @ggaslyp1 @janeh22 @seonghwaexile @seasonswinter @itgirlofthecenturysposts @ricciardosredbull @amz824 @sarx164
1K notes · View notes
puppy-phum · 3 days ago
Text
thinking about how in the past, wen xiao and zhuo yichen helped each other through grief that struck them on the same day, even if they didn't know about it then. how fate brought them together so that they could heal each other, could save each other. zhuo yichen was there to take care of wen xiao when she was sick and felt useless and scared, while wen xiao was there to pull zhuo yichen out of his gray grief to let colors back into his life again.
and i know that in the middle, the show kind of tries to paint them as childhood sweethearts, or as a story of one sided love from zhuo yichen's side. and maybe it has been like that, maybe it still is sometimes, but no matter what, they love each other and that's all that matters.
they rely on each other a lot too when they're suddenly faced with the force that is zhao yuanzhou. when, bc the world is cruel, it is revealed that he is the reason they ever created this bond between them and needed each other so much. zhao yuanzhou killed zhao wan'er, wen xiao's beloved master. he also killed zhuo yichen's father and brother. he is the reason wen xiao has been sickly and fragile for so long and he is the reason why zhuo yichen's world ever turned gray.
zhao yuanzhou is also fortunately the reason why wen xiao becomes strong again, as well as the reason why zhuo yichen is able to let go of his hate and find his true self.
and so, in the end, wen xiao and zhuo yichen are together again. but this time, they share a common grief. this time the other's grief does not feel so distant bc they mourn the same losses. they mourn ying lei, mourn bai jiu. but above all else, they mourn zhao yuanzhou.
they heal each other from the loss of the one that once caused them indescribable pain. they understand what it's like. they know how deep the grief goes, how cold it feels. wen xiao was always powerless to stop zhao yuanzhou from dying and zhuo yichen was always powerless to stop himself from being the one to kill him.
which is why i find it so fascinating how the main trio are tied together by this very closely shared grief and loss. but especially fascinating i find wen xiao and zhuo yichen bc they're placed on different sides of zhao yuanzhou. they've made into these two different paths that zhao yuanzhou walks at the same time as he also shares grief and loss with both of them. his relationship with wen xiao starts from shared grief over zhao wan'er and his relationship with zhuo yichen finally solidifies as they share mutual grief over their loss of control. there is also the horrid experience of zhao yuanzhou wondering if he needs to share his grief over wen xiao with zhuo yichen as they fear she will die (several times), or his grief over zhuo yichen with wen xiao as they fear he will die (once again, several times).
also, as an ending note, it's fun how zhao yuanzhou is able to save both wen xiao and zhuo yichen while the other is powerless to do anything. zhao yuanzhou gives wen xiao the baize token that zhuo yichen has been looking for so long and later takes the poison away from wen xiao while zhuo yichen has only thought about doing it himself. zhao yuanzhou is the one to get zhuo yichen both his inner core and his sword fixed while wen xiao doesn't really even know where to begin with them and is powerless to do anything against ying long. so, yeah, zhao yuanzhou keeps them from grieving each other – so that they can eventually grieve zhao yuanzhou.
50 notes · View notes
just-a-ghost00 · 3 days ago
Text
What do they wish they could tell you?
This reading is romantically enclined. If you're wondering about a specific person that you're romantically interested in, whatever your situation may be, this reading is for you. The theme of this reading is Kpop solo artists.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Group 1
Cards : 4 of wands, Nature, Tibetan black quartz - Light up your spiritual path
I wanted to first adress that as I was pulling the cards for you, I felt a bit of warmth radiate through my stomach, around the solar plexus. And immediately this made me think of longing. I got the feeling that for a lot of you this would be a person that you are in a separation with, someone that is currently far from you whether that is by choice or because of external circumstances. The card of the tibetan black quartz mentioned a question that caught my eye straight away. "Could I be even clearer right now?" And this felt like something they would actually want to tell you. "What more do you want me to do? How far do I have to go to prove you that this is real?" This person feels frustrated and hopeless because they think you are not getting their point. That you do not see eye to eye with them. However, they think they have tried everything in their power to get you to understand the extent of their feelings. This person thinks a lot about you. They turn the situation over and over in their head again, to figure out what they've missed, what they could or should have done differently. The nature card made me feel like life circumstances lead you to go on your separate ways, yet this person is still keeping an eye on you and thinking about you consistantly. They cannot forget you. With so many eyes represented on the card and the presence of wings as well as a moon crescent that is placed like a halo, this makes me think that this person feels spiritually connected to you. The current distance between you allows them to consider your connection from a different angle and understand the truth of it all. Even though they may be missing you dearly, they think it's a blessing in disguise. This person wants to tell you that you are their home. With that 4 of wands, I get a strong message of "I want to come home to you".
"I want us to support each other and walk in the same direction. To face the future together, hand in hand, no matter what's ahead of us. I don't want us to fight and sulk all alone in our corner, when we could be together and ruling the world. I want us to write our own story. One we could fondly talk about to our children someday. One we could look back to with sparkle in our eyes as if it were yesterday. I have deeply thought about you, about us. About the change I wanted to see and the future I envisioned. And today, I know that my future is with you. I know that I want you to be around when I wake up in the morning, when I'm feeling down at the end of the day or excited about my success. I want you to be around when I am taking another step towards my goals or when I'm thinking of going back to where I started. I want us to see each other for who we are. No masks, no pretending. Just us, waltzing in the middle of a room like today could disappear and there would be no tomorrow. I love you. That thought has become as clear as the day. As certain as there is a rainbow after the rain. I want you like I have never wanted anyone before. That scared me, I admit it. But now I know. I know what it means and I am in for it. How can I get that feeling across to you? What do I have to do for you to trust me and let me in? Haven't I done enough already? Haven't have told you how much you meant to me? What was I lacking for you to distrust me and walk away? I want you to see me. Not for the person I used to be, not for what people portray me as, but for the person I am when I'm with you and the one I want to be for you. I wish you could see my efforts and my value. That you shared the same vision of the future as me. I miss you. There isn't a single day that I don't think about you. Everything reminds me of you and that is excruciating. To know that you may not feel the same, that maybe you are already in other arms, other sheets. That maybe you don't think of me like I do. That you have moved on and forgotten everything we've been through. When I look at the sky, I think I see your face looking down on me. When I see a star, I wish it were you shining a light on me. I pray to God for your presence. I ask for you to be safe and sound. I ask for you to love me. In my prayers I talk to you and whisper to the wind the words I wish I could whisper into your ear. Do they get to you? Do you feel my embrace anytime you are caught by the wind? Because I do."
Group 2
Cards : Page of swords, The Wildling, Hiddenite - Claim your happy place
First of all, I want to mention that a lot of air related energy is being represented in this spread and there's an emphasis put on swords because the wildling card also has two swords crossing depicted on it. Which reminds me of the 2 of swords card in certain decks. Right off the bat, I got a very combattive energy from these cards and heard "You are mine". "I'm coming for you." It feels like this person may have been very uncertain in the past about you, what you meant to them and what they hoped for. But they recently gained clarity about that and now they wish to communicate without about what they have found out. I also felt like this person is very protective over you and feeling urged to act. As if something happened that triggered this visceral need of being by your side as soon as possible. For some of you, I'm getting the message that your person may have heard that you were being courted by another person. If that is not the case, something may have given them the impression that such a thing was happening. They want to tell you that people better stay away from you because they intend to "claim" you as theirs. I'm getting a message that this person had a dream in which they were losing you, possibly in a tragic way or a dramatic way. And this person thought to themselves " sh*t I didn't see that coming". They want to tell you that now, they know where they stand when it comes to you. They want to be by your side, fighting with you instead of against you.
"I am done resisting the urge to love you with all I have. In the past, I tried to forget you. To ignore what I felt was so obvious. I was stuck in a loop, struggling between my thoughts of you and my fears. I was fighting against myself and in the process I was fighting you. I hurt you, said and did things that lead you to believe I was cold, that I didn't care when in reality you were all I could see. You were in my mind 24/7. I kept imagining things, wondering how we could be together, trying to establish the possibilities I had, making plans in my mind but I got scared and ran away. I am done running. I don't want to lie to you anymore. I don't want to pretend being this cold hearted s.o.b that only thinks about their own satisfaction. I want to be with you. To prove you that you were not wrong. To show you the true essence of who I am. I want to know more about you. To figure out this thing that's between us, understand why it's there, where it's taking us. I just want to talk to you. To know you're okay. That you're safe and sound, that no one has laid a finger on you. If that ever happened, I would be devastated. I look at your pictures and can"t help but wonder who took it. Was there another person behind the camera that loves you more than I do? I'm tired of acting as if nothing happened, of going to work or going on with my day wearing a mask of indifference when all I can think about is having you in my arms. I wish to tell you I am different than what you perceive of me. That I am worth your time and energy. I want to fight for your love and attention, to be worthy of you. I want to prove the world that we make sense. That we go together well. I want to make a statement that will mark you forever and let everyone know that you are off limits."
Group 3
Cards: 4 of wands, Connect to heart, Pyrite - call on your core power
Before doing your reading, as I shuffled the cards, I challened the song Listen to your heart from Roxette. Looking at the lyrics a little, I got the feeling of someone being afraid of missing an opportunity if they ever chose to walk away. It's like this person wants to say "I don't want to make the wrond decision". "I'm afraid of ruining it all if I don't take this seriously." They wish to tell you that they imagine a future with you. That to them, you are more than just a friend or a random person they may have met a few times. That their feelings are stronger than what you may perceive or imagine. They wish to tell you that they would do anything for you. That they feel attracted to you in ways that sometimes surprise them. That they are loyal to you and that their heart is filled with love whenever they think about you. You hold the key to this person's heart. They feel like you are connected through space and time. And even if you may be apart, this person's gaze is always turned towards you, their heart is always open to you, their thoughts are filled with memories of you. They just cannot go away and close the door, no matter how hard they try. Their feelings for you are stronger than any fear they may have regarding the connection. This person wishes to tell you that they want to be by your side through thick and thin.
" I love you. It's as simple as that. There isn't much to say or to argue about. Because deep in your heart, you know this is the truth. Ever since I met you, I have envisioned a future where we stood together hand in hand. I have wanted to be with you and support you, to hold you in my arms and cherish you for the rest of my life. Upon first sight I knew that this was not just a coincidence. That this meant more than our eyes could see and our minds could grasp. I felt immediately close to you and this incessant need to be close to you. I wanted to love you with all I had. I couldn't help but to adore you and worship you. I was like a dog on a leash and if at first I got scared, with time I didn't mind. Because it felt like this was the right thing to do. I always feel you in the corner of my mind. If I close my eyes, I can see you dancing in the room, trying to please me and seduce me. I can picture your body on the floor and the way it moves so naturally against mine. I can see us walking to the altar hand in hand, a smile on our faces, love radiating through our hearts. I can imagine the house we'd have, the family we'd build. The fairytale kind of love I always wished for. I cannot think of anyone else better than you to fit that role. I wouldn't want anyone else, even if that person was a better match. Because I chose you. And I am not going to go back on that decision. I want to make love to you. But everything has its own time, right? Let us not rush. We have all the time in the world to learn about each other and explore this bond that we share. I am sure you feel it too. This isn't an illusion. It is real. And I want you to embrace it just like I intend to do."
299 notes · View notes
niilue · 19 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
—when vi finally speaks, it’s not just her words you hear, but the weight of everything she’s too scared to lose.—
part i.
cw: female reader, vi x reader, angsty, jealousy, emotional hurt, hurt-comfort, vi’s emotional struggle, vulnerable vi, mention of caitvi's relationship, slow burn, spoilers s2. this is long writer's note: guys this is long!! i didn't even know how to do this part, i tried to make it as canon as possible to vi's character, and remember this is fiction, not hate <3-
vi didn’t move immediately after ou left. she stood there, in the middle of the alley, listening to the sound of your footsteps fading away and feeling like with each one, something inside her broke a little more. your words still echoed in her head, louder than any punch she had ever taken in the ring.
"why are you acting like this is personal?"
she had said those words reflexively, without thinking, in an attempt to protect herself. but now, as she remembered them, all she felt was a sharp pang of shame. she had seen the pain in your face when she said them, had felt the weight of your emotions and how your words had been filled with anger and something deeper, something vi couldn’t quite understand.
"why did it matter so much to her?"
it was the only question she could ask herself as she stood there, motionless. she had faced fights, betrayals, even death, but she had never dealt with something as confusing as this. she had never had to look at someone and realize she didn’t understand what they were feeling.
caitlyn approached, breaking the silence with a tone that seemed to carry more judgment than compassion.
“vi…”
“not now, cait,” vi replied automatically, with a harshness that wasn’t aimed at her, but at herself.
but caitlyn didn’t stop.
“vi, you have to let her go. it’s clear that this… whatever it is that’s going on between you two…”
“you don’t understand!” vi raised her voice, turning toward caitlyn. her eyes were red, full of frustration and something caitlyn hadn’t seen in her before: fear.
caitlyn raised her hands in surrender, but the damage was already done. vi felt the explosion of emotions inside her, a chaos of unanswered questions that pushed her to act, to move, even though she didn’t know where to go.
"why does she care so much?"
vi started walking aimlessly, her footsteps echoing in the empty streets of zaun while her mind raced. the image of your face, of your eyes full of tears and pain, wouldn’t leave her alone. you had said you were nothing, that you would never be anything, but even so, your words had been full of something more: broken hope, a love that seemed too strong to ignore.
"why does she look at me like that?" vi thought, clenching her fists. she wanted to hit something, wanted all that noise in her head to stop. but she couldn’t. your words were still there, like an echo that wouldn’t fade.
“i never asked her to stay,” she muttered to herself, her voice heavy with self-defense.
but as soon as she said it, she knew it was a lie.
vi stopped in a dark corner, leaning against the wall as her breathing turned erratic. the streets around her were empty, but inside her, everything was full of noise.
“she’s the one who decided to stay,” she whispered again, trying to convince herself. but she couldn’t.
every time she tried to come up with an excuse, your image came back to her mind: you, taking care of her on the days when she didn’t even want to get off the floor. you, following her steps even when she yelled at you to leave her alone. you, looking at her like there was still something in her worth saving.
"why did you do it? why do you care so much?"
vi closed her eyes, her hands trembling as she tried to recall every word you had said. you had mentioned the darkest moments, the days when she punished herself in the ring, the days when alcohol was her only companion.
you had said you were there. that you had always been there.
vi felt something inside her break. you had been there, yes, but she had never seen it that way. she had never allowed those things to matter because… because if she did, she would have to face something she wasn’t ready to feel.
"why did you do it?" she murmured, as if speaking to you, though you weren’t there to hear her.
the answer came slowly, like a current breaking through the chaos in her mind. you hadn’t done it for her. you had done it because it was what you felt. because you wanted to save her, even when she didn’t want to save herself.
"you took it personally because it was always personal."
vi felt the air leave her lungs. it wasn’t just that you cared. it was that you had always seen something in her that she couldn’t see in herself. and now that she finally understood, now that the pieces were falling into place, you were gone.
she closed her eyes tightly, letting her head fall back against the wall. tears began to stream down her cheeks, hot and silent. she didn’t try to stop them.
"i’m such a coward."
that was the only conclusion she could come to. you had been there, enduring her worst, taking care of her when no one else would, and she had ignored it all. and when you had finally laid your feelings bare, when you had exposed the full weight of what it meant to love her, vi had responded with doubt, with silence, with words she now knew she should never have said.
"why are you acting like this is personal?"
because it had always been personal.
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
vi turned the corner into the alley and saw you. you were sitting on the ground, arms wrapped around your knees, with your hair falling over your face, hiding your eyes. she knew you’d been crying. she knew because she recognized that posture, that way of curling up when the pain consumes you and you don’t know how to keep going.
vi took a deep breath, forcing herself to take a step toward you. then another. and another. her boots echoed softly against the damp ground of the alley, but you didn’t lift your head. not until she finally spoke, her voice low and tense:
“i’m here.”
those two words made you lift your head, though slowly, as if every muscle in your body weighed too much. your eyes, swollen and red, met vi’s, and she felt something inside her crack at the sight of all the pain she’d caused.
“why?” you asked, your voice broken but sharp enough to cut deeper than any shout.
vi swallowed hard, looking at the ground before forcing herself to meet your gaze again. her hands trembled at her sides as she tried to find the right words. but there weren’t any.
“i can’t leave you like this,” she admitted at last, her tone so low it was almost a whisper.
you laughed, but it was a bitter, joyless laugh. “you couldn’t leave me like this? that didn’t seem to matter when you let me spill everything i was feeling, and you didn’t do anything.”
vi pressed her lips together. she couldn’t defend herself from that because it was true. she had left you alone, not because she didn’t care, but because she didn’t know what to do with what she felt. because she was afraid.
“i didn’t know how to react,” she confessed, her voice still tense. she took another step toward you, though you didn’t move. “i don’t know how to handle this… how to handle you.”
your brows furrowed, your eyes shining with a mix of disbelief and anger. “and what does that even mean, vi? what the hell does that mean?”
vi took a deep breath, her hands trembling as she ran them through her hair, tugging at the short strands as if that would help her think.
“it means i care about you,” she finally said, and though her voice was low, every word came out with an intensity that seemed to fill the entire alley. “it means you matter to me more than i know how to handle.”
the weight of her words hung in the air between you, and vi lifted her gaze to yours, searching for some sign that it wasn’t too late. but there was no response on your face, only a mix of emotions she couldn’t decipher.
“if i really mattered to you, you wouldn’t have done this,” you said, and your words were like a direct blow to her chest.
vi clenched her fists, but she didn’t look away. she knew you were right. but that didn’t make it any easier to face.
“it’s not that simple,” she admitted, her voice trembling slightly as she tried to hold herself together. “not after what happened with caitlyn.”
the mention of her name made your expression harden, and vi noticed.
“what does she have to do with this?” you asked, though you knew the answer might not be what you wanted to hear.
vi closed her eyes for a moment, letting the weight of the truth hit her before forcing herself to speak. “cait… made me believe i could trust someone again. that i could be more than a broken fighter.”
your chest tightened at her words, but you didn’t interrupt.
“and then, when things got bad, she left. she hit me, insinuated i was a monster, and walked away,” she continued, her voice cracking slightly at the end. her eyes filled with something you hadn’t seen in her before: fear. pure, absolute fear. “it wasn’t just what she said or did. it was… that she made me think something i’d never believed was possible. and then she took it away.”
vi’s shoulders slumped as she exhaled, as if she’d been holding her breath for too long. “i don’t know if i can trust someone like that again. i don’t know if i can let myself feel that again.”
her words fell over you like a weight, but you didn’t let your expression change.
“then why are you here?” you asked, your voice filled with pain and defiance. “if you can’t trust anyone, why do you keep coming back to me?”
vi lifted her head quickly, her eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. she took another step toward you, this time lifting a trembling hand, though she didn’t touch you.
“because it’s different with you,” she said, and though her voice was quiet, there was something in her tone that made it sound louder than any shout. “because you saw me when no one else did. because when i wanted to destroy myself, you wouldn’t let me.”
vi lowered her hand slowly, her shoulders sagging as her voice softened even more. “but you scare me too. because with you, i can’t pretend. and i don’t know if i’m ready for that.”
the silence that followed was deafening. you could see the internal struggle in her gaze, the way she was caught between wanting to move forward and the fear that kept her anchored to the past.
finally, you let out a shaky sigh, turning your eyes away. “then i don’t know what you want from me, vi.”
vi pressed her lips together, her eyes filled with something that looked like a silent plea. “i want to try. even if i don’t know how.”
your chest ached as you listened to her, but you couldn’t just give in. not after what you’d seen, after what you’d felt hearing her call her “cupcake” as if nothing you had done for her mattered.
“this doesn’t erase what you did, vi,” you said, your voice low but firm, trembling under the weight of the emotions you had tried so hard to hold back. “it doesn’t change how i felt when i saw you call her that, like… like i didn’t mean anything to you.”
vi blinked, her face contorting into a pained expression. her lips moved as if she wanted to say something, but you raised a hand, stopping her before she could start.
“you don’t get it, do you?” you continued, your words laced with restrained anger. “it’s not just the nickname. it’s what it represents. it’s how it makes me feel, like everything i did for you wasn’t enough.”
vi opened her mouth, but her voice broke before any words could come out. finally, she took a deep breath, forcing herself to respond. “i didn’t mean for you to take it that way. it wasn’t because you don’t matter to me.”
“and how am i not supposed to take it that way, vi?” you shot back, taking a step closer to her, letting the intensity of your words fill the space between you. “you always say you don’t know how to handle this, but it seems so easy with her.”
vi shook her head quickly, her eyes filled with something that looked like panic. “it’s not easy with caitlyn. it never was.”
the mention of her name made your teeth clench, but you forced yourself to let her continue.
“with her it’s… it’s different,” vi admitted, her words clumsy but honest. “cait was always… what i thought i needed. someone who made me feel like i could be more than what i am. but with you…”
she trailed off, her gaze dropping to the ground for a moment before meeting yours again.
“with you, i feel exposed. and that scares me because i don’t know if i’m made for something like this.”
you stood in silence, your breathing shaky as you processed her words. the anger burning in your chest still lingered, but there was something in her tone, in the way her hands trembled at her sides, that made your defenses start to crack.
“that doesn’t make it hurt any less, vi,” you finally murmured, your eyes shining with tears you refused to let fall. “but at least now i know why.”
vi nodded slowly, swallowing hard as if admitting all of this had drained every ounce of energy she had. she took another step toward you, her voice lowering even more.
“i want you to trust me. i know i don’t deserve it yet, but i want to try. i want this to mean something.”
for a moment, the weight of her words filled the space between you. it wasn’t a perfect promise. it wasn’t an immediate solution. but it was something.
you took a deep breath, looking away for a moment before locking your gaze back onto hers. “then show me, vi. because if you ever make me feel like i’m not enough again… i won’t stay.”
vi nodded again, more slowly this time, and though her eyes still held uncertainty, there was something new in them: determination.
you didn’t say anything else. you turned toward the alley’s exit, your footsteps echoing softly against the ground as you walked away. vi didn’t stop you this time, but she didn’t take her eyes off you until you disappeared into the darkness.
she stayed there, motionless, her chest tight and the words she wanted to say stuck in her throat. she knew that this time, words wouldn’t be enough. she knew she would have to show you that you could trust her.
for the first time in a long time, vi felt like she had something to fight for.
310 notes · View notes
aychama · 2 days ago
Text
Oh my gosh! Im really flattered that you think this way! It means that I have done a good job so far with my Narinder 😌
I %100 understand your concerns regarding the plot and the upcoming betrayal. It wont be a 180 in their personalities and Narinder wont be this comically evil character either. I will do my best to push these two poor souls as much as I can.
But how do you do that to two people that love eachother?
Easy. Fear, lies and manupilation done by other characters that feed the current spy/knight and king plot.
The whole reason why I added Chelsea to the story is to intruduce a harsh conflict to it. To be the catalyst to this pairings downside. But funny enough she wont be the start of it. Fox, the advisor of Narinder has his teeth into him since he was a child and he is the reason why the big rift happens between the sibling kings.
I also have plans with Lambert's missing sister. Her just existing will move Lambert to the extremes. Familial love and revenge is one of my favorite things to see in media and I sure as hell will use it!
I also do understand the 'Narinder did nothing wrong' kind of look into his character and that 'he didnt lie about anything just didnt tell us of his plan' as well. In my comic, he doesnt have the plan to sacrifice Lambert from the get go, he wouldn't even think about it until Fox and Chelsea keep pushing him and fill his head about Lambert betraying him.
The betrayal from Lambert wont be predetermined either. The grief and anger will consume them too much for them to even think about what they are doing and listen to what Narinder is saying to them.
All of this will start boiling before Kallamar's defeat. Lambert will hear a conversation between Fox and Narinder during Lambert's birthday celebration and the heartbreak will start. They will still continue to serve him after it.
Chelsea will have the information that Lambert is a spy and use it to blackmail them to be obidient to her and use her position and Narinder's actions with killing 2 of his siblings and the reactions from Kallamar and Shamura over Narinder to pressure him with other nobles.
The pressure from Chelsea, Kallamar, Shamura and the nobles will be too much for Narinder that he will stop protecting Lambert and he wont go easy on them emotionally which will create the heartbreaking era of Lambert's emotional torture from Chelsea and Narinder turning a blind eye to it.
Lambert lying to Narinder the whole time as a spy and not being able to confess it all, Narinder having literal power over their life and that making his feelings and desires conflict in their relationship will be their main dynamic.
Anyway before I spoil all of the plot, just know that I have a lot of things planned. I dont know if I will be able to satisfy everyone but I just hope you guys have fun with all the angst and heartbreak I have planned for these poor souls !
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
You guys know how it’s said that cats purr heals? Yea…
888 notes · View notes
sturnlsstuff · 3 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
PANCAKES | chris sturniolo
in which you made your boyfriend pancakes, later finding out he doesn't like them.
fluff, no warnings, based on this request !!
Tumblr media
you've never felt more stupid in your life than when you found out from the new triplets' Q&A video, that Chris doesn't like pancakes. which was ridiculous, you made him chocolate chip pancakes three weeks ago while visiting him and he didn't say a word.
you just found out about it while watching their video on your flight to los angeles for your second visit. wondering how you didn't notice it, but how were you supposed to, when he ate the pancakes with a smile on his face and gave you a kiss on the forehead, telling you how yummy it was? but you still felt bad, you've been in a long distance relationship with chris for almost two months now, thinking that you already knew him better than that, but clearly not.
having spent the entire day at the triplets' place with chris, it was finally evening and you both got hungry. you were now in the kitchen wondering what you wanted to eat, when you decided to see if he would lie to you again.
"i can make the chocolate chip pancakes if you want... y'know the ones i made the last time i visited you," you say, leaning against the counter and watching him closely, seeing how he pauses for a second, but then turns to you with a smile on his face. now you knew it was a fake smile.
"sounds so good, ma, but maybe we could eat some pizza?" he swallows, trying to sound casual and turns back to you, clearly avoiding your gaze and he grabs a can of pepsi from the fridge. "s'late anyway, maybe you could do the pancakes tomorrow morning, hm?"
narrowing your eyes, this time you can clearly see that he doesn't like these fucking pancakes. makes you wonder how you could be so stupid, not to notice what your own boyfriend likes or dislikes.
"i kinda feel like eating pancakes though," you say only to see if he's gonna finally say the truth or not. chris looks back at you, the wheels in his head racing, trying to think of any reason not to make these pancakes. he felt bad really, but he just loved you so much, he was ready to eat something he doesn't like again so as not to make you upset.
"a'ight, fine." he nods, taking a sip of his soda before putting it down and already starting to look for ingredients. "whatever y'want, baby."
the little smile he gave you, the way he was ready to actually do it, makes your heart race. it was a little thing, but the fact he'd actually force himself to eat something he dislikes and not say a thing, was making you feel bad for him and at the same time love him even more.
"chris." you say bluntly, walking closer and taking the bowl from his hands onto the counter, causing his attention come back to you. "why are you doing this?"
"what?" a frown appears between his eyebrows as he looks down at you, his blue eyes intense, "'cause we're hungry? and you wan' pancakes—"
"no, not that." you sigh and confront him, "i mean, you don't even like pancakes, so why do you wanna make them with me anyway?"
"huh?" he immediately starts denying it, "that's not... what are ya talkin' about--?"
"i watched the new video." you confess, seeing how his expressions changes from confusion to understanding and then guilt. seeing him want to interrupt, you shake your head and continue, "why didn't you tell me that you don't like pancakes? i made them for you and you just ate them, not saying a simple word—"
"it's not..."
"...you could just tell me, i would make something else! it was enough to say that you're not a big fan of them and it's fine, i would immediately..." chris tries to cut off your yap, but you just keep going, "... and then i'm looking on tiktok, realizing even your own fans know, but not me when i'm supposed to be your girlfriend, which means i don't know you at all, which means i'm a terrible girlfriend and i feel stupid and i'm awful and—"
the feeling of his hands cupping your cheeks and his lips pressing against yours, shut you up. you hum in response as he kisses you, your hands fall to either side of your body. a few seconds later he pulls away slightly, looking into your eyes and raising his eyebrows, "you done?"
you just pout, still feeling awful, while chris continues cupping your cheeks. "call y'self a bad girlfriend again and i'll fight you," he says sarcastically, but then adds more seriously, "s'just pancakes. and yours were really fuckin' delish, so stop callin' y'self awful."
"but you don't like pancakes..."
"yeah, i don't, but..."
"so why didn't you just tell me?!"
chris sighs, now feeling guilty that you found out the way you did, causing you to feel bad of yourself. "what, was i supposed to break your heart and not eat the food y'made f'me, when you were so excited?"
"chris, i'm a big girl, i would survive it." you roll your eyes, "i wouldn't wanna force you to eat something you don't like. especially lying to me that it was good—"
"hey." he cuts you off, "relax. i didn't lie, it was in fact really yummy."
giving him a glare, you mutter, "now you're just saying that to make me feel better..."
"no." he shakes his head, "m'sayin' that 'cause it's true. i don't like pancakes, but you did a great job. end of story."
he steps back, while you keep pouting. you wanted to believe him, but he probably wouldn't even tell you if the pancakes were awful, so as not to upset you.
chris sees that you're still unsure, so he speaks up again, before taking a sip of his pepsi, "listen, baby, i'd tell ya, yeah? at some point... but that was your first visit here, you took time to make me breakfast 'n you were so happy. that's why i couldn't spit it out." he glares at you, "but i mean it when i say it was good. if i had to eat it again, i'd chose you to make 'em."
your face finally lights up with a little smile, which causes chris to grin as well, "there she is..."
"next time i wanna know from you if you don't like something. not from the internet. got it?" trying to look scary, you point your finger at him, but it only causes chris to chuckle.
"yes, ma'am."
"now gimme some eggs, i'll make waffles..." then you pause, giving him a suspicious stare, "you do like waffles?"
"yes. oh god, yes i do." his eyes sparkle when he opens the fridge and starts giving you the ingredients you need. "if y'make me some waffles, i'll actually take you out on a date tomorrow."
"perfect."
Tumblr media
@certifiedstarrr @chrislovespepsi @le4hsblog @sturnsxbitvh @sweetlikesug4rvenom @xaristhings @mattsfavbitchhh @lvrsturniolo @r0s3luvr @madisonsturnioloss @chrispillowprincess
301 notes · View notes
crescenthistory · 2 days ago
Note
hi there love! i hope you're doing well 🤍 if it's okay w/ u, i'd like to request a regulus fic (are we surprised? no-) with an animagus! reader. maybe reggie and reader got into a fight about something and reader's still holding a grudge. they refuse to change out of their cat (or any animal u choose!) form and regulus is trying everything to get them to change back. ending in fluff probably :D
~🍓
i'm quite alright darling, hope the same goes for you<3 this little drabble is written with the same cat!animagus!reader i've written for reggie so far in mind (whiskers, my love) since she's known to be petty...
Words: 1.3k
Warnings: fem!reader, minor fight (lighthearted), embarrassment, you're petty, regulus grovels, black brothers have poor people skills, make-up, background wolfstar and (judgemental) bsf!remus
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"How long has she been like this?"
Sirius was eyeing Regulus funnily, seemingly drawn between wanting to laugh at him and wondering if maybe he should comfort him. Remus felt none of the latter sentiments and all of the former.
"Since our last class on Friday," Regulus replied miserably from where his face was buried in his hands, resting atop his knees. "She shifted immediately after."
"So... for over 24 hours," Sirius surmised.
That was apparently the wrong thing to say, based on how Regulus lifted his head from where he was practically bent in half, just to glare at his older brother. "Thanks for doing the maths, Sirius. Not the problem I needed solving, though." Throughout his sentence, his eyes increasingly narrowed at his brother as if his irritation grew with every word.
"No, your problem," Remus volleyed. "Is whatever the hell you've done."
Regulus groaned and buried his face once more.
Across the common room from the trio, a white and grey cat was pettily walking back and forth along whatever furniture it could reach. Its tail was standing up straight, whipping about in annoyance.
Remus poked Regulus in the ribs to get a response. "What'd you do, Baby Black?"
"I may or may not have corrected her in Potions in front of Slughorn, even though she may have been working on gaining his respect all term," Regulus murmured.
The chuckle that escaped Remus was finally one of understanding. "Ah," he said through a smile. "I believe that is what we in the business call a rookie mistake."
Regulus sat up with a jerk, hands moving emotively as he made his case to his brother and brother-in-law, where they were sat on top of each other in a plush chair. "But I've apologised! Profusely, and several times! I don't know what else to do?" The last sentence was voiced as a question, though it was not formulated as one. Perhaps the closest the younger Black brother could get to asking for help.
"Maybe you should give Slughorn a speech about how great she is."
Regulus quirked up at that, eyes zeroing in on Sirius. "You really think that would work?" Remus could have burst out laughing at the lack of sarcasm in the younger boy's voice.
"No," Remus said softly, while chidingly patting Sirius' knee. "Don't listen to him, you lot have the same amount of people skills. Do you know your girlfriend, Regulus?"
"Yes?" Regulus' voice was uncertain, looking between the boys with furrowed brows.
"What usually motivates her to hold a grudge?" Remus prompted then, ever patient.
He was quiet for a minute as he thought. "When she feels wronged. Like when Evan apologised for her 'interpretaion' of what he said instead of for him hurting her feelings, and she disliked him for three years."
Remus nodded solemnly. "And is there a reason she might still feel wronged by you now?"
Regulus' gaze finally fixated on the cat across the room, nodding too as the puzzle pieces slowly assembled in his mind. "I apologised for correcting her... but not embarrassing her. She probably feels like I was lording over her or something."
"Meaning..?" Gods, Remus was really laying it on thick here. The curse of the Black family.
"I should go tell her as much." Regulus nodded and moved to hurry over towards you, swinging around at the last minute to give the two boys an almost-smile. "Uh, thanks Sirius. Remus."
Then he was off.
Sirius turned his face into Remus' cheek. "No idea what he's thanking me for; you did all the talking."
Remus sighed, melting further into his boyfriend. "That's what I've been saying."
Regulus tenderly approached you, sitting down somewhat gingerly in a chair beside the table you were currently parading around. "Hi, amour," he said softly. "Can we talk?"
You just wagged your tail in response, in a fashion Regulus has come to learn means displeasure.
"Please love, I want to give you a proper apology. It would be best to do so face-to-face, no?" He reached his hand out towards you, an open invitation. You stopped for a moment to regard him, but then lightly slapped at his hand to get it out of your face. Regulus decided to take it as a victory that your claws were retracted at the very least – you weren't out for blood.
“Okay,” he said through a breath. “I guess I’ll just… talk to a kitten and look crazy.” Upon your quiet hiss, he amended, “Talk to a cat, sorry. Gods, I’m sputtering today, aren’t I?” That final part you seemed to agree upon at least.
“Amour, I am truly deeply sorry for embarrassing you like that. It was such a little thing, and Slughorn has been so unfair towards you this year. I didn't mean to set you back in your progression with him, though frankly, he is in the wrong there, not you. As am I. For someone who feels like he can go around correcting people, that was quite air-headed of me, yeah? The one person keeping me grounded is you, amour, please would you come back to me? You can give me a proper scolding if you’d like, I can take it.”
Regulus was pouring his heart out, and if he dared to hope, he thought your feline face might have softened. You walked closer to him, seemingly studying his face.
Then, you jumped off the table and ran away.
He sighed heavily, letting his forehead fall down to the table with a light thump. If you were going to keep giving him the furred shoulder, he might just stay here. It was hard work being a tosser who’s missing his girlfriend.
Before he could wallow further in his sorrows, he felt a soft hand be placed on his shoulder. A touch he would recognise anywhere.
His head flew up from the table to look up at you – standing above him, smiling softly and somewhat sheepishly. The hand on his shoulder grew bolder, squeezing, while the other came up to cup the side of his face. Regulus ignored any instinct to cower away and instead happily melted into your touch.
“Hi, baby,” you whispered, and he knew he was mostly forgiven.
Emboldened by this new development, he turned in his seat so that his body faced you, slotting you in between his thighs and letting his hands come to rest heavily at the top of your hip. “Hi amour,” he breathed out, reverent. “Thank you.”
“For what?” you laughed, and he knew you knew what. He indulged you anyway.
“Coming back to me.” His voice was murmured, eyes hooded as he stared up at you. “I miss you when you remain as Whiskers, you know?”
“I do know,” you teased. “That’s kind of the whole point, yeah? Make you think.”
He shook his head and leaned his forehead tentatively against your stomach. “A cruel punishment, but an understandable one. I truly am sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
Regulus sighed when your hand migrated to scratch through his hair. “I know, baby. I just wanted to hear you say it. And–” at this point he could hear the blush in your voice “��� at some point it just became principle. Too late to back out.”
Laughing against the fabric of your shirt, he moved to rest his chin against you, gazing up at you at an angle that was slightly uncomfortable but definitely worth it. He let a small grin slip. “Stubborn minx,” he whispered.
“Oi!” you chided gently. “You’re in no position to levy such accusations, mister.”
“I can’t imagine loving you more,” he said through a sigh, not even thinking over the words. They were just right, and demanded to be brought up.
If the way your body melted against his was anything to go by, you didn’t mind.
A booming voice cut the moment short. “You two are painfully dramatic,” Sirius yelled from across the room, clearly having paid attention to the whole make-up conversation. “Please never fight again.”
“And that’s coming from Sirius Black,” Remus added solemnly, earning himself an indignant swat from his partner.
“He’s right,” Regulus whispered conspiratorially to you. “I cannot be the most dramatic Black brother, that would be blasphemy.”
“Then I suggest,” you said before giving him a light peck, “you be on your best behaviour from now on.
A grin. “Yes ma’am.”
184 notes · View notes
the-winter-spider · 3 days ago
Text
Invisible | Part 15
Pairings: Bucky x reader
Word Count: 5.3k
Warnings: unrequited love, angst, heartache...
A/N: A lot is said in this one lol not between bucky and her yet but you'll see lol. Also the flashbacks kinda tie into the chapters! The mike flashback will finish in the next chapter when her and bucky finally hash it out lmao
Tumblr media
The city buzzed around you, but it all felt distant—like you were moving through a world that didn’t quite belong to you. Your feet carried you aimlessly, dodging crowds and cars, your mind swirling with everything you’d just said to Bucky. Everything he’d done. Everything you’d felt for so long but couldn’t say out loud until tonight.
Eventually, you found yourself in a quieter part of the city. The hum of traffic and voices softened, replaced by the rustle of leaves and the occasional bark of a distant dog. You spotted a park bench under a flickering streetlight and sank onto it, your body heavy, your heart even heavier.
You sat there for a while, trying to steady your breathing, focusing on the cool air filling your lungs. In and out. In and out. But no matter how hard you tried, the tears wouldn’t stop. You wiped at them furiously, frustrated at how raw and exposed you felt.
You just don’t understand. Your brain can’t even begin to piece together how Bucky could do this. How have you been hurting him? You’ve been nothing but a great friend—loving him from the sidelines for so long. And now, when you finally have a chance at something outside of him, he crushes it.
A dark thought creeps in, twisting the knife further. Maybe, deep down, Bucky never truly was your friend. Maybe he secretly resents you because you could never do to him what he’s done to you. Maybe he hates you for making him feel something he can’t figure out how to handle.
But then another realization crashes over you, colder than the first. Have you been doing this to Steve the whole time? All these years, if what Bucky said is true—if Steve really is in love with you—oh god. Have you been breaking his heart, too?
The thought hits you like a freight train, leaving you breathless. Steve. You’ve been so consumed by your feelings for Bucky, by the endless cycle of longing and heartbreak, that you never stopped to consider the weight of your own actions. If what Bucky said was true, if Steve really had been in love with you all these years…
Your chest tightens as you think back to every lingering glance, every reassuring touch, every moment when Steve was there, steady and unwavering. He had always been your rock, the one person who could ground you when everything else fell apart. How many times had you leaned on him, venting about Bucky, crying on his shoulder, seeking comfort without a second thought?
And all the while, he was—what? Silently pining for you? Loving you in a way you never noticed because you were too busy looking at someone else?
The guilt settles in your stomach like a lead weight. What have I done to him?
You run a hand through your hair, your fingers trembling. Have I been doing to Steve exactly what Bucky’s doing to me? Leading him on, even if unintentionally? Letting him love you while you poured all your love into someone else?
It’s too much. Your thoughts spiral, memories flashing like scenes from a movie. Steve’s quiet smiles, the way he always showed up when you needed him, the way he seemed to know you better than anyone else. How could you have been so blind?
But then your mind snaps back to Bucky. Bucky. The thought of him twists the knife in your chest all over again. His words, his actions—they’re like a tangled web, one you can’t seem to escape. You replay the fight in your head, the way his blue eyes burned with frustration, with something deeper and more vulnerable hidden beneath the surface.
He said you hurt him. That you hurt Steve. That you think you’re the only one who’s been in pain. How could he say that to you?
But the worst part is, he wasn’t entirely wrong. You’ve been so consumed by your own heartbreak, by the years of loving Bucky in silence, that maybe you didn’t see the ways you’ve hurt the people around you. Maybe you were so focused on surviving your own pain that you ignored theirs.
Your tears blur your vision as you stare at the empty park in front of you. What if Bucky’s right? What if you’ve been selfish this whole time? What if, despite everything, you’ve been blind to the way your actions ripple through the lives of the people you care about most?
You lean forward, elbows on your knees, and bury your face in your hands. The city feels impossibly big around you, like it could swallow you whole. The weight of your thoughts presses down on you, suffocating in its intensity.
But there’s one thought that refuses to let go: Why does it feel like everything you touch falls apart?
You’ve spent so many years loving Bucky, holding onto a hope that maybe, someday, he’d see you the way you see him. And now? Now you’re not even sure what any of it means anymore. The fight, the hurt, the years of unspoken feelings—they’re all crashing down around you, and you don’t know how to make sense of it.
And Steve. Sweet, dependable Steve. You think about the way he looked at you earlier, his eyes filled with something you now recognize as quiet resignation. How long has he been carrying that? How long has he been holding onto a love he knew you couldn’t return?
A fresh wave of tears threatens to spill over, but you blink them back, your hands clenching into fists. You’ve been selfish. Blind. And now it’s all unraveling.
The night stretches on, cold and unyielding, as you sit there, trying to piece together the shattered fragments of your relationships. You feel like a puzzle with missing pieces, and you’re not sure how to put yourself back together. Or if you even can.
You didn’t even flinch when someone sat beside you. You didn’t have to look to know who it was.
Because of course, it was Steve.
It was always Steve.
He didn’t say anything, just sat there, his broad frame a steady, comforting presence. You could feel his eyes on you, filled with quiet concern, but he didn’t push you to speak. He just waited.
After what felt like an eternity, you finally wiped at your cheeks one last time, sniffling softly as you turned to face him. The weight of everything Bucky had said still lingered, and the words tumbled out before you could stop them.
“Is it true?”
Steve’s brow furrowed slightly. “What?”
You held his gaze, searching his face for any sign of denial. But he only looked confused until you asked again, this time without words. Just a look, one that carried all the weight of Bucky’s earlier confession.
Steve’s face softened, his shoulders sagging slightly as he let out a quiet sigh. He didn’t look away, didn’t try to deflect or change the subject. He just nodded, his voice low and steady.
“Yes.”
The world seemed to tilt for a moment, your breath catching in your throat. You blinked at him, trying to process what that single word meant, what it changed.
“How long?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Steve gave you a sad, almost apologetic smile. “Since high school,” he admitted. “Maybe even longer.”
Your heart ached, the weight of his words settling over you. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
Steve looked down at his hands, his fingers fidgeting slightly. “Because I saw how you looked at him. And as much as it hurt, I wasn’t going to stand in the way of that.” He paused, his voice softening further. “You’ve always been happiest when you’re with him.”
You stared at him, your chest tightening. All the moments you’d shared with Steve over the years—the lingering glances, the quiet support, the unwavering presence—it all made sense now. “Steve…”
He gave you a small, reassuring smile. “I’m not telling you this to make things harder. I just… I wanted you to know the truth. You deserve that much.”
The tears threatened to fall again, but you swallowed them back. “You’re such a good friend, Steve,” you whispered.
He nodded, his smile bittersweet. “Yeah. I’ll always be that, no matter what.”
The two of you sat in silence for a while longer, the weight of the conversation settling between you. But despite the heaviness, there was a sense of clarity—a new understanding of the bond you shared.
Steve sat quietly beside you, the weight of your conversation pressing heavily between you. The hum of the city seemed to fade away, leaving only the soft rustle of leaves and the distant chirp of crickets. After a long stretch of silence, he took a deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Can I ask you something?”
You turned your head slightly, meeting his cautious gaze. “Yeah, of course” you said softly.
Steve hesitated, his jaw tightening as if he was bracing himself. “Do you think… you could ever love me? More than a friend, I mean?”
The question hung in the air, heavy and loaded. You froze, your heart thudding painfully in your chest. It wasn’t unexpected, not after everything Bucky had said and the way Steve had just confessed his feelings. But hearing it out loud was different. It made it real.
For a moment, you didn’t answer, your mind racing. You thought back to all the times Steve had been there for you, all the quiet moments you’d shared, the safety and comfort he provided. You thought about how easy it would be to fall for him—to love someone as steady and kind as Steve.
And maybe… maybe you could have. Before the last couple of weeks, before everything with Bucky had come to a head. There was a time when things weren’t so complicated, and you might have let yourself feel more for Steve. But now?
Now your heart was a tangled mess of longing and pain, and you couldn’t see past Bucky.
You exhaled shakily, your voice breaking. “I don’t think I can,” you admitted, tears pricking at your eyes. “Not now. Maybe… maybe once, I could have. But everything’s different now.”
Steve’s face didn’t change much, but the way his shoulders sagged slightly told you he’d braced himself for this. “I see,” he said quietly, his voice steady but laced with sadness.
Your chest tightened painfully. “I’m sorry, Steve. You have no idea how much I wish I could. It would make everything so much easier.”
The tears you’d been holding back finally spilled over, and you buried your face in your hands. “You deserve so much better than this, better than me,” you choked out. “You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart.”
Steve reached out instinctively, his hand hovering near your shoulder. “Hey, don’t—”
But you pulled away, shaking your head. “Please don’t, Steve. I can’t let you do that,” you said, your voice trembling. “I can’t let you be the one to pick me up when I’m falling apart. Not like this.”
His hand dropped, and he swallowed hard, nodding slowly. “Okay,” he said, his voice low. “I get it.”
You both sat in silence again, the weight of unspoken words pressing down on you. Steve was always the one who stayed, the one who tried to make everything okay. But now, you’d drawn a line, and it felt like a small piece of your heart broke just from doing it.
“I’ll still be here,” he said finally, his voice soft but firm. “Whenever you’re ready, however you need me. That doesn’t change.”
You nodded, the tears still falling. “Thank you,” you whispered. “For everything. You’ve always been too good to me, i've never deserved this, i never deserved you”
Steve gave you a small, bittersweet smile, “You deserve the world” and you could see the depth of his love in his eyes. Even now, even when it hurt, he was still there. And that was what made it all so much harder.
Steve sat beside you, silent, the weight of your shared history and unspoken feelings hanging heavily in the cool night air. You’d both said so much, yet there was still an ache between you, a lingering sense that this moment wasn’t finished.
After a few moments, Steve reached into his jacket pocket, his hand hesitating before he pulled out a small, familiar object. The soft glow of the nearby street lights reflected off the delicate gold of the locket, the one you’d seen weeks ago at the farmers market, the one that reminded you so much of the one your mother gave you, and hers before that, the one you carelessly lost at that stupid party. He turned it over in his fingers for a moment, his expression unreadable, before holding it out to you.
Your breath hitched as you recognized it immediately. “Steve…”
He gave you a small, almost shy smile. “I’ve been holding onto this for a while,” he said softly. “I wasn’t sure when the right time would be, or if there even would be a right time.”
You stared at the locket, your heart twisting painfully. “You bought it?” you whispered, your voice trembling.
He nodded. “I saw how much it reminded you of what you loss, when i brought it home to exam in i opened it up” he paused opening it up and your heart stopped, your grandma's note “The lady said her daughter found it at some party and thought she could make some money at the market”
Steve’s words lingered in the cool night air as he handed the locket to you, his fingers brushing yours for just a second. The warmth of his touch, so brief yet grounding, contrasted sharply with the whirlwind of emotions surging through you.
You took the locket gingerly, your eyes wide, the gold chain glinting in the soft glow of the streetlights. Your fingers traced the familiar curves and edges as though to confirm it was real. You opened it carefully, your breath catching when you saw the tiny, worn note tucked inside—the same one your grandmother had written years ago. You traced the intricate design, your mind flashing back to the day you’d first seen it, the quiet hope you’d felt, and the weight of everything that had happened since.
Tears blurred your vision. “Steve… I can’t believe this.” Your voice wavered, thick with emotion. “You didnt even know if was the one i lost, i didnt even, why would you—”
He shrugged, his smile soft, tinged with the kind of quiet understanding that only Steve could give. “I saw the way you looked at it and even i knew it was the one you lost, i just figured it could help give you a little piece of what the original one meant to you. I got lucky, when i opened it and saw that" He's gestured to your great grandma's note, "I thought, maybe—just maybe—it was meant to find its way back to you.”
You shook your head, overwhelmed. “You didn’t have to do this,” you whispered, clutching the locket tightly. “I was so careless, and I thought I lost this forever.”
Steve leaned back slightly, his hands now resting on his knees as he looked at you with a mixture of tenderness and resolve. “You didn’t lose it forever,” he said gently. “It found its way back. Just like it was suppose to. I just… I wanted to make sure it did.”
You felt your chest tighten, the weight of everything—your fight with Bucky, your complicated feelings for Steve, the memories of your mother—all pressing down on you at once. “Steve…” you started, but your words faltered as you searched for the right thing to say, the gratitude and guilt tangling inside you.
He seemed to sense your struggle, his eyes softening even further. “It’s okay,” he said quietly. “You don’t have to say anything. I just… I wanted you to have it back.”
The silence that followed was heavy but not uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that allowed you to think, to breathe, to feel. You closed the locket carefully, holding it against your chest. The cool metal pressed against your skin, a small but powerful reminder of everything you’d lost and found.
Steve’s voice broke the silence, low and full of emotion. “I know it’s not my place to fix things or to make things easier for you. But… I wanted you to know that I see you. I always have.”
“Steve,” you said again, your voice a broken whisper. “You’re… you’re too good.”
He shook his head, his eyes glistening. “No. I’m just someone who loves you, in whatever way you’ll let me.”
That broke you. A sob escaped your lips, and you covered your mouth, trying to hold yourself together. But the tears kept coming, and Steve just watched, his own eyes brimming with unshed emotion.
After a moment, you managed to look up at him, your voice barely audible. “I wish I could love you the way you deserve.”
Steve smiled gently, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I know,” he said quietly. “And it’s okay.”
You held the locket to your chest, as if it could somehow steady the storm inside you. “You’ve always been there for me,” you whispered. “Always. And I’ve never deserved it.”
Steve reached out, gently brushing a tear from your cheek. “You don’t have to deserve love,” he said softly. “You just have to let yourself feel it.”
You both sat there for a while longer, the world around you blurring into the background. Finally, Steve stood, offering you a hand to help you up.
“Come on,” he said, his voice steady. “Let’s get you home.”
You nodded, slipping the locket around your neck, feeling its weight settle against your heart. It was a piece of him, a piece of everything you shared, and it would stay with you, no matter where life took you next.
As you walked beside him, the silence between you was full of understanding. It wasn’t the ending either of you had imagined, but it was a moment of truth, a quiet acknowledgment of what had always been there and what might never be.
Tumblr media
Summer
The sun was high, casting its golden rays over the park as laughter echoed through the wide-open fields. It was one of those rare Saturdays where everyone’s schedules aligned, and the entire group had decided to spend the day outside.
Sam had commandeered the grill, expertly flipping burgers with a pair of tongs in one hand and a beer in the other. “I’m telling you, my secret seasoning is gonna blow your minds,” he bragged, tossing a wink over his shoulder.
Natasha smirked from her spot on a picnic blanket, her sunglasses perched on her nose. “Your secret seasoning better be more than just salt and pepper, Wilson,” she shot back, taking a sip from her drink.
Wanda giggled, her legs stretched out in front of her as she picked at a bag of chips. “Sam’s been talking about his ‘grilling skills’ all week. It better be good, or we’re ordering pizza.”
“You wound me,” Sam said dramatically, clutching his chest.
Steve stood nearby, setting up a game of cornhole with Bucky. “Alright, who’s teaming up?” Steve asked, holding up the bean bags. His eyes flicked to you for a second longer than necessary before he quickly looked away.
“I’m with Nat,” Wanda chimed in, grinning as she elbowed Natasha. “We’re unbeatable.”
Natasha nodded confidently. “Damn right we are.”
Steve turned to you and Bucky. “Guess it’s us versus you two.”
You raised an eyebrow at Bucky, who was leaning lazily against a tree, sipping from his bottle of beer. “Think you can keep up, Barnes?”
He smirked, pushing off the tree to stand beside you. “I think the real question is, can you?���
The game started off competitive, with Sam and Steve shouting exaggerated encouragement from the sidelines. “Aim for the hole, Buck!” Steve yelled, laughing when Bucky glared at him after missing.
“Oh, brilliant advice, Captain Obvious,” Bucky muttered, his cheeks tinged pink. He turned to you, leaning in. “You got this, right? Show ‘em how it’s done.”
You laughed, tossing your bean bag and landing a perfect shot. “Boom,” you said, giving Bucky a playful nudge. “That’s how it’s done.”
Bucky grinned, holding up his hand for a high five. “We make a good team,” he said, his voice softer, his blue eyes twinkling.
Natasha, ever observant, raised an eyebrow behind her sunglasses but said nothing, nudging Wanda when Bucky wasn’t looking.
By the time lunch rolled around, everyone was sprawled out on the blankets, full of Sam’s surprisingly good burgers and Wanda’s homemade cookies. Steve sat cross-legged next to you, while Bucky leaned back on his elbows on your other side.
Natasha watched the scene unfold, a small smile playing on her lips. She caught Steve stealing a glance at you when you weren’t looking, and her smile faltered slightly, her fingers toying with the edge of her cup. Wanda noticed and gave her a reassuring nudge, mouthing, You okay?
Natasha nodded, brushing it off. She wasn’t about to ruin the moment.
“Alright,” Sam said, clapping his hands together. “Who’s up for some frisbee?”
Steve stood immediately. “I’m in.”
“Same,” you said, hopping up and pulling Bucky along with you. “Come on, let’s see if you’ve still got it.”
Bucky groaned but let you drag him to his feet. “I’ll show you sweetheart.’”
Natasha and Wanda stayed behind on the blanket, content to watch as you all ran around like kids. Wanda sighed happily. “This is nice,” she said, leaning back on her hands. “Feels like we haven’t done this in forever.”
Natasha nodded, her eyes following Steve as he ran after the frisbee. “Yeah,” she murmured, her voice a little distant. “It’s perfect.”
Wanda glanced at her, her brow furrowing slightly. “You’re still not gonna tell him?”
Natasha shook her head, her lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s not the right time.”
Wanda sighed but didn’t push. Instead, she watched as Steve tossed the frisbee to you, his face lighting up when you caught it with ease, your laughter ringing out. Bucky cheered you on, his arm slinging around your shoulders for a brief moment, and Wanda couldn’t help but notice the way Steve’s smile faltered, just for a second.
Despite the complicated dynamics, the love and friendship within the group were undeniable. It was in the way Sam teased everyone mercilessly but was the first to help when needed. In the way Natasha always had a sarcastic quip but fiercely defended her friends. In the way Wanda’s quiet warmth balanced out everyone’s chaos. And in the way Steve and Bucky—despite everything—always had each other’s backs. And in the way you were the glue always keeping everything and everyone together.
The afternoon faded into a golden sunset, and as you all sat together, sharing stories and laughs, it felt like nothing could break the bond you all shared.
For now, at least.
Tumblr media
The alley was dimly lit, the only light coming from a flickering streetlamp. Bucky stormed out of the bar, his jaw clenched, his fists tight at his sides. The cool night air did little to calm the fire raging inside him. He barely made it a block before he heard the familiar sound of heels clicking rapidly behind him.
“Bucky Barnes, stop right there!” Natasha’s voice was sharp, cutting through the noise of the city.
He barely had time to turn before she grabbed his arm and shoved him against the rough brick wall of the alley, her hands pressing firmly against his chest.
“What the hell, Nat?!” Bucky snapped, but she wasn’t having it.
“No, you don’t get to talk right now!” she shot back, her green eyes blazing. “I am so sick of this, Bucky! So sick of you and her dancing around each other like you’ve got all the time in the world!”
Bucky’s mouth opened, but Natasha cut him off with a furious glare.
“You love her,” she said, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and frustration. “You’ve always loved her. And she’s loved you since before any of us even knew what love was! But you’re both so goddamn stubborn, so scared, that you’re wasting your lives.”
“Natasha, you don’t—” Bucky tried, but she jabbed a finger into his chest, stopping him cold.
“Shut up, Bucky! Just shut up and listen for once!” She stepped back, running a hand through her hair. “We’re all in our mid-twenties now. We’re not kids anymore. You and her? You were supposed to set the tone for love. You were supposed to show the rest of us that it’s worth it, that it’s real. But instead, you’re both stuck in this endless loop of fear and self-sabotage.”
Bucky’s throat tightened, his eyes flickering with guilt. “Nat, it’s not that simple…”
“Bullshit!” she shouted, her voice echoing in the narrow alley. “It is that simple! You’re scared. You’ve always been scared. But guess what? So is she! And you know what else? You’re not just hurting yourselves—you’re hurting everyone around you.”
She took a shaky breath, her voice lowering but no less intense. “Steve’s been in love with her for years, and it’s killing him. And me?” She laughed bitterly. “I’ve been in love with Steve since high school, Bucky. But do you think he’ll even look at me the way he looks at her? No. Because he’s stuck, just like you.”
Bucky’s eyes widened in shock, but Natasha wasn’t done.
“I’ve been waiting, Bucky. Waiting for Steve to see me, to love me the way he loves her. But he can’t, because you and her keep dragging this out, making it impossible for any of us to move on! And god if i told her..”
Her voice cracked, and for the first time, her anger gave way to raw vulnerability. “I can’t do it anymore, Bucky. I can’t keep watching the two people I love most in the world destroy themselves and everyone else around them.”
Bucky looked down, his heart pounding. The weight of Natasha’s words hit him like a freight train. “Natasha, I…”
She stepped closer, her voice soft but firm. “You need to tell her, Bucky. Tell her you love her. Stop running, stop hiding, and stop making excuses. She deserves to be happy. You deserve to be happy. And if you can’t do it for yourselves, then do it for the rest of us, do it for me Bucky” she pleaded
Bucky swallowed hard, his hands clenching at his sides. “What if… what if I’m too late?”
Natasha sighed, her anger softening as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “Then at least you’ll know you tried. But you won’t be too late, Bucky. She’s been waiting for you her whole life.”
She pulled back, her eyes searching his. “But this? This has to end, tonight. Go to her. Fix this. And maybe, just maybe, the rest of us can start to heal too.”
Bucky nodded slowly, his chest tight. “I’ll try.”
“You’ll do more than try,” Natasha said firmly, stepping back and crossing her arms. “Now go. Before I change my mind and punch you again.”
Bucky gave her a small, appreciative nod before he opened his mouth “Does anyone else know?” He asked, referring to her confession about Steve.
Natasha smiled sadly and said “Wanda”
Tumblr media
College
It was one of those golden autumn afternoons, the kind where the campus was bathed in soft, honeyed light, and the air carried the faintest chill. You sat cross-legged on the quad, a pile of books spread out in front of you. The vibrant reds and oranges of the trees framed you like a painting, the wind occasionally tugging at your hair and making it dance in the sunlight.
Steve watched from a distance, leaning against a tree with a sketchbook balanced on his lap. His pencil hovered over the page, but he hadn’t drawn a single line in minutes. Instead, his eyes were fixed on you.
You were laughing, your head thrown back as Bucky said something undoubtedly ridiculous. Steve couldn’t hear the words, but he didn’t need to. He could see the way your eyes lit up, how you leaned in closer to Bucky as if the rest of the world had melted away. The way Bucky looked at you—grinning, but with an ease that Steve envied—made Steve’s chest tighten.
“You’re staring again,” Natasha’s voice broke through his thoughts, jolting him back to reality. She plopped down beside him, her sharp gaze cutting right through his defenses. “Not a good look, Rogers.”
Steve sighed, lowering his pencil. “I’m just—”
“Sketching,” she interrupted, raising an eyebrow. “Sure.”
He didn’t argue. There was no point. Natasha had known for a long time—probably since the day the three of you met her. She was good at reading people, and Steve was an open book when it came to you.
“She doesn’t see it, you know,” Natasha said after a beat, her tone softer now.
Steve glanced at her, his jaw tightening. “Doesn’t see what?”
Natasha gave him a look, one that said she wasn’t going to let him play dumb. “You. The way you look at her like she’s the only thing that matters.”
Steve let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter, does it? She only has eyes for Bucky.”
Natasha sighed, leaning back on her hands. “And Bucky… Bucky’s too blind to realize what he’s got right in front of him.”
Steve’s eyes flicked back to you. You had your hand on Bucky’s arm now, laughing at whatever joke he’d just made. Bucky, for his part, seemed blissfully unaware of the way your touch lingered just a second too long, the way your eyes softened when they met his.
Steve felt a pang of something between longing and resignation. “I just want her to be happy.”
“And what about your happiness?” Natasha asked, her voice low.
Steve didn’t answer. Instead, he flipped the page of his sketchbook, finally putting pencil to paper. He didn’t need to look up to draw you; your image was already burned into his memory. Every line of your face, every curve of your smile, every glint in your eyes.
“Maybe some people aren’t meant to have that kind of happiness,” he said quietly, more to himself than to Natasha.
Natasha sighed, her expression softening. She reached out, giving his arm a light squeeze. “You’re a good guy, Steve. But you deserve more than being someone’s second choice.”
Steve didn’t respond, his focus locked on the sketch forming beneath his hand. But deep down, he knew she was right. He deserved more. He just wasn’t sure he could ever want anyone else the way he wanted you.
Natasha’s gaze lingered on Steve for a moment longer, her hand still resting on his arm. Her heart ached, not just for him, but for herself. She’d seen the way Steve looked at you for years, and every time, it chipped away at the small sliver of hope she held onto. Steve was kind, strong, and everything she wanted, but his heart belonged to you. It always had.
“Steve,” she said softly, almost hesitant. When he didn’t respond, she pulled her hand back, folding her arms across her chest as she leaned against the tree beside him. “You deserve someone who sees you.”
Steve’s pencil paused, his hand hovering over the sketch. He glanced at her, and for a brief moment, something unspoken passed between them. But then his gaze shifted back to you, and Natasha felt her chest tighten.
The sound of your laugh carried across the quad again, pulling both their attention back to you. You looked so radiant, so alive, and so hopelessly, irretrievably in love with Bucky.
And Steve? Steve would keep loving you silently, from the sidelines, even if it tore him apart.
Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing a small smile. She’d keep loving Steve the same way, even if he never looked at her the way he looked at you.
165 notes · View notes
kamechan98 · 2 days ago
Text
Nah, it's cool, I understand
And yeah, the Anti-Blitz party may be something of a start with some of the people there. I'm of the opinion that some people are likely there for the party itself and that Blitz can't have emotionally screwed over that many people. Like, Dennis? They met for a few hours at Bee's party months ago, how is he THAT upset about it he needs to go to an Anti-Blitz party? Even for Blitz that's a bit much. But I also agree that it may not be the best option, as a friendship/relationship that is built on hating one person is not likely to last or be very good. If all you have in common is hating one specific person, what else is there to build on? Maybe some people there have built solid relationships while meeting at those parties, there did seem to be a quite a few couples and friends there, so who knows? Maybe there is a form of community and friendship between these people, finding comfort and support from each other after their heartbreak while also learning to move on and find love and joy again.
But I agree it's not what Stolas really needs, to have all of the good things he knows and feel about Blitz being disregared and blame everything on Blitz, twisting it around to make him the bad guy in every aspect of his life when that isn't true. We've seen that Stolas is trying to reflect and see where HE made the wrong step in their relationship, what he can learn from the whole thing and how he can do better in the future, which Verosika keeps trying to shut down.
"But maybe it's all on me For missin' every sign and every glance And every turn" "Maybe there's somethin' here for us to glean For you to teach, and me to try to learn"
"What if I came on too strong? What if I read this all wrong? What if we just don't belong?"
Stolas, while a bit delulu at times, a hopeless romantic and not anywhere near as self-aware as he needs to be, does recognise on some level that the reason their relationship turned out the way it did isn't all Blitz' fault and the fact that he keeps trying to reflect and and go over what happened between them despite his hurt feelings, broken heart is a good thing- both for the sake of their relationship in the future and for his own development. Yeah he's trying to cover it up a bit, turning a bit petty and spiteful towards Blitz for even going to the party (maybe he wouldn't have gone if Blitz hadn't shown up at his place, wanting to be a little petty towards him) but as soon as he's there he recognises how petty, stupid and ridiculous the whole affair is, throwing an entire party every year just to hate on Blitz, and is even able to recognise this while drunk of his ass.
Our Owl Boy is a bit delulu, but not THAT delulu.
But it is as you say, Stolas is a People Please of the highest order and is only now starting to learn to stand up for himself and focus on his own wants and needs rather than bending over backwards to please others around him while suffering in silence. And spending too much time around people who don't encourage that kind of reflection and accountability would be a step backwards for him. It'd be enabling his worst habits and maybe make him regress in his growth, which is the last thing anyone needs.
Whether Stolas and Blitz end the season as friends who need to work on themselves before they get together or as a tentative couple who want to try again, do it right this time while also getting to know each other properly (last bit will probably happen regardless, but you know what I mean) I am under no delusion that they won't end up together at some point in the future. But I want to see Stolas find an identity outside of liking Blitz. As much as I love him, and I do, that's pretty much been his character for a while now. Yeah, he was Octavia but we haven't been allowed to see much of their relationship, which we know is going to have consequences of some kind before the season is over. I recognise that Blitz is the main character and is likely to be the most complex and developed character, but that doesn't mean others can't have more to them than basic interests, quirks and be defined by their role in Blitz' life. We've seen some of it with Moxxie and Millie, would love more of it, as well as seeing some development and growth for Loona, Millie (as her own person not her relationship to Moxxie or Blitz) and I think Stolas would need it too.
Maybe he and Asmodeus will become better friends? Fizz? M&M, Loona might be set up to become better friends with him as well? Maybe Vassago will be one of few Goetia who actually care about him and want him to be okay? I don't know, we'll have to wait and see.
Stolas has always been "Single"...
Tumblr media
One thing I've noticed people say that genuinely disturb me is when they think Stolas should learn how to be single...
Guys, Stolas has been "single" his entire fucking life.
On paper, he may have been "married".
But Stolas was married to a partner that treated him like shit, and forced him to live a life constrained from being his gay ass self.
Tumblr media
People are treating the relationship he had with Blitz as them being in an actual romantic relationship, but as Blitz stated...
Tumblr media
To Blitz, he and Stolas were never in an actual romantic relationship because let's face it, it's true.
Blitz simply operated under the terms that Stolas had set for them in their full moon romps.
Remember guys....
Tumblr media
This man is an emotionally-inept dumbass, who automatically assumes the worse. Of course, he's not going to see any of Stolas’s invites as anything other than Stolas just wanting him for his body.
Is it right? No, of course not.
But this is Blitz, and I'm not expecting a man who has been suppressing every single major emotion and traumatic event in his life for 15 years (prior to GF) to pick up any of the hints Stolas was dropping. He's a dumbass.
Tumblr media
So yes, Stolas has never been in an actual relationship, and I don't think he needs to learn how to be "single" when he's been single his entire fucking life.
The man doesn't need to learn to be happy alone when he's always been alone!
Tumblr media
"You wanna know what I want? I want to know what it's like, to not be alone. I want to be someone's someone. I want to feel wanted. But like, in a romantic way, like I'm standing out in the rain at a train station and someone is shouting: “Harriet! Don’t get on that train, it’s going to London and I cannot be without you!”"
"I just... want someone to care if I stay or go. I want someone to want... me! To want to see me. To hold me. To look at me and think "You're the only one I want!" [sheds tears] "I desire to hold you and talk to you, and never let you feel so...""
So yeah, I really don't think Stolas needs to learn to be happy alone. He knows what it's like to be alone, he's always been alone.
~~~~~~~~~~
And you know what I want?
Tumblr media
Maybe I just want, this sad gay 🦉 to give this equally as sad and lonely pan 🦎 another chance...
Tumblr media
Because, you know, even though he's an emotionally-inept dumbass and a motherfucker...
Tumblr media
He's charismatic and charming...
Tumblr media
He's good at fighting...
Tumblr media
He's protective...
Tumblr media
He knows how to have fun...
Tumblr media
He's got the most beautiful smile...
Tumblr media
He's hot as fuck...
And I also heard...
Tumblr media
He's got a pretty cool family.
395 notes · View notes
andiloveher · 3 days ago
Text
"are you dead yet?" a calvin gabriel analysis
Tumblr media
a/n: this movie is my current hyperfixition right now and this is just my personal take on the character, ben is a genius :) some of these quotes are out of order
thinking about the intro/beginning scene. that evil ass kid. cal gives such theater kid vibes omg.
i don't have much to say about the opening scenes, i think ben gives an amazing way of setting up the character dynamic between andre and cal. at first, it almost feels like he created an empty character out of cal, so it could be easy for someone to step into his shoes and relate to him (until later). cal is usually the one behind the camera, this isn't to say that he is less important than andre but i feel like this is where people start to create that 'soft and innocent' idea of cal. i can imagine him standing behind the camera with a stupid little grin on his face.
thinking about the firework scene; lets get the first thing straight, cal was not manipulated, gaslit or the 'soft and innocent' one here, and neither is andre. both are to blame for this. notice how excited cal is, or at least fakes it. even while watching the fireworks, he seems unamused compared to andre (who calls this out). i think cal has always been a very closed off person, he can be very ignorant and annoying as depicted at the poem scene and several scenes with andre.
thinking about cal's first solo video entry ; "everything is planned so methodically." i LOVE the way he used that word and why he used it. methodically means structured or in an orderly fashion. i think it's a perfect use of the word, the fact that at first they never had a date, they had a plan and knew exactly how they would execute it. "it's gonna be unreal. it's gonna be beautiful." cal looks off as he speaks, almost like he's spacing out while imagining it. cal knew exactly what was to come, and almost fantasized about it. the thought it was beautiful. he starts examining the camera etc, as if he wasn't just talking about a mass shooting, he treats this very lightly. as if, it's just another sadistic thought. "we are gonna leave you all behind, just sticks in the mud that andre and i have made. we are gonna walk away. you see, we see more than you do." cal is fully aware of what's to come, almost as if he's planned this for years ahead. it reminds me of the tate quote "I'm prepared for the noble war."
nearing the end of his 'monologe' he starts spacing out his words, taking longer to deliver what he's about to say as if he's trying to justify it or make someone understand why they are gonna do what they are about to do.
thinking about the party scene; cal silently makes his way out of the party to sit on the steps with andre. when he gets down to the step he basically slouches over, covering his face as if he's exhausted. "i'm just not good at parties."
he keeps his arms crossed over him but his legs out. his legs out are a sense of comfort with andre but i feel like him keeping his arms crossed is because he still feels very closed off or uncomfortable. he stays very quiet while andre talks with his cousin. apparently they have been friends since about sixth grade and cal has been with his family before, yet he still feels anxious and closed off to them.
thinking about the braces scene; ben did this in a lovely way and he's an actually genius. "his parents spent all that money for years on his teeth, just for him to blow them through his skull." - ben in the Zero Day Commantary
thinking about the grave scene; another one of my personal favorite scenes. cal is very defensive on andre during this scene as rachel basically describes him as a bad influence on cal. i feel as if cal is getting defensive because andre was able to understand him in a way no one else would, someone who understood his sadistic ideas and even help him go through with it. someone who saw the need for a 'beautiful' cleansing.
i also think he got defensive when rachel started to describe andre as like the ring leader of all of this, cal wanted his credit and i think this tied alot into the shooting scene later on.
"im insecure and i need attention." god someone get this boy a myspace page.
thinking about the camping scene; where cal jokes around with his family alot, i wonder how his younger siblings felt afterwards
thinking about the poem scene; i don't think the poem has much meaning - also basing it off what Ben said. just some edgy thing a teenager would say.
cal doesn't seem to take anything seriously. being obnoxious to the other people who were there, ignoring andre's points on trying to stay secretive. cal couldnt give less than a fuck.
im jumping far
thinking about the shooting scene;omfgomfgomfg. in the car it's like we see cal truly happy when he is about to ruin people's lives, his smile seems so genuine like he's ecstatic.
when him and andre get in the building, he seems so focused on his first shot, quick to make sure there are no more people.
don't even get me started on the library scene omg
the way cal walks ontop of the tables, showing a sign of authority over everyone else. a moment where he can finally feel larger than others, where he no longer has to worry about staying in his little bubble.
"are you dead yet?" is my favorite quote from the scene. it's filled with so much anger and almost irony. he's taunting them, he laughed at the idea of someone trying to talk him out of it. i think this was the most freeing moment for cal.
i also think he was ready to die, his last conversation to andre says so much. telling him "you're done." isn't of "i'm done" or "we're done." he was prepared to paint the ceiling with his brains - while andre was so hesitant. UGH I COULD TALK ABOUT THID MOVIE FOREVER
141 notes · View notes
daryltwdixon · 13 hours ago
Note
hello dear!! i dont know if your are still taking requests or not, but if do you i would really love to see you write something fluff with a drunk daryl and reader, where he totally forgot that they are dating and just start acting shy and awkward around her, i know its cliche but i really love how you write daryl and think it would be so cute to see something like that written by you😭, but i totally understand if you are busy, i hope you are having a great day!🥰
Tumblr media
A drunk Daryl grows uncharacteristically shy around you, forgetting for a moment that you're together.
author notes: I just want to say its not v common for people who are drinking to forget who their s/o's are, but anything for you lolol, enjoy!!! x
thank you for the love!!!
The Alexandria dinner party is louder than usual, laughter spilling out into the quiet night. Someone had insisted on opening the last few bottles of wine, and you watch with amusement as Daryl, leaning against the far wall, swirls the red liquid in his glass like it’s some kind of trap.
“Never took you for a wine guy,” you tease, stepping closer. His eyes dart to yours, and the flush on his face deepens. You figure the alcohol’s working its magic, though Daryl had always been shy about these kinds of things—especially in a crowd.
“Don’t even taste right,” he mutters, setting the glass on a nearby table like it might bite him.
You grin. “Then why drink it?”
He shrugs, glancing at you sideways. The usual ease between you feels a little... off. His gaze flicks to your face, then away again, like he’s avoiding something. You tilt your head, trying to figure out what’s wrong, when his voice breaks the quiet.
“You look real nice tonight.”
The words come out low and shy, almost like he hadn’t meant to say them. You blink, surprised, but before you can respond, he fumbles to add, “Not that ya don’t always, but... I mean, yeah.”
“Daryl,” you say, trying to catch his eye. He’s looking anywhere but at you now, cheeks burning. “Are you okay?”
“‘M fine,” he grumbles, crossing his arms. But the way he shifts on his feet, the nervous way he rubs the back of his neck—it’s not like him. You step closer, studying him, until something clicks.
“Oh my god.” You can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up. “You don’t remember, do you?”
His brows furrow, lips parting in confusion. “Remember what?”
You can’t believe it. “You’re acting like we just met or something.”
Daryl stares at you, his eyes swimming with haze, but he blinks hard, trying to piece it all together. His eyes widen slightly. “Wait... we’re—?”
“Yes, Daryl,” you say, trying to suppress another laugh. “We’re together, at least I thought so,”
The realization hits him like a brick wall. His mouth opens, then closes, and for a second he just stares at you, dumbfounded. “Shit,” he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face. “I—uh... forgot.”
“Obviously,” you tease, stepping even closer until you’re standing right in front of him. “Should I be worried you’re forgetting about me already?”
“Nah,” he says quickly, his voice quiet but insistent. “Just... too much wine. ‘S all.”
You bite your lip, trying not to smile too wide at how bashful he looks. The Daryl you know is rarely this unguarded, and it’s endearing. But as you watch him glance down at you—his face still flushed and his nerves practically visible—you catch something softer in his expression. His hand drifts to the back of his neck again, but this time, a crooked grin follows.
“You’re... somethin’ else,” he murmurs under his breath, almost to himself. “Must be the luckiest som' bitch,”
The words catch you off guard, and warmth blooms in your chest. “Damn right you are,” you say softly, but there’s no teasing in your tone anymore.
His lips twitch, and he finally dares to meet your gaze. “Guess I don’t mind that.”
You smirk, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his cheek. The move makes him freeze for half a second before his face turns a deeper shade of red, but his hand brushes yours in a subtle, almost instinctive gesture. Even drunk, even shy, Daryl Dixon couldn’t hide how much he cared.
“C’mon,” you say, tugging lightly at his hand. “Let’s get you some water before you forget anything else."
78 notes · View notes
vidavalor · 2 days ago
Note
Love reading your thoughts, @masnadies! Have some in return on the shop metaphor and why I think Aziraphale does attempt sleep at times, if you or anyone else is interested. No pressure. 😊
Cute excuse, too, for one of my favorites of @mimisempai's correctly "incorrect" gifs 😊
Tumblr media
<<If we can be bookshops (and honestly, I can't think of much I'd rather be), then all the mementos are memories, and all the books are what? knowledge? also memories? ideas? Intriguing, in any case, as the bookshop is full of clutter and rare, valuable books, none of that cheap stuff but it's everywhere all mixed up and nobody can figure it out. All of that is lovely for metaphor of Aziraphale.>>
I can't think of anything I'd rather be than a bookshop, either. 😊 i think Aziraphale is the bookshop on two, different-but-interconnected levels, I think. One is the metaphorical one we're talking about here; the other is the characters' sexually euphemistic one, which I think exists in the dialogue, in part, to help us see the metaphorical use of the bookshop for Aziraphale. It makes it more interesting, though, because Aziraphale using the bookshop as a stand-in for himself in innuendo means that he and Crowley are self-aware of the metaphor, which allows the characters themselves to be seen playing with it as metaphor and not just as innuendo as well.
So, we have the innuendo-laden things like "Just as that bookshop, technically, is my shop, but we both get plenty of use out of it, don't we?" and the "you like waiting inside" and the "get thee behind me, foul fiend-- after you!"... but we also have Crowley and Aziraphale aware that what is, technically, each their own, is also one another's, because they are a couple. So, The Bentley is Aziraphale's and the bookshop is Crowley's, and that means that it's "Fells' Bookshop" and "no more old bookshops" and "you can't leave this bookshop", etc..
I think that there is a slight difference in understanding between the main characters on this. Not when it comes to the innuendo-- they both get that. It's actually more in how Crowley uses it sometimes and it comes down to how they each see Aziraphale. Aziraphale sees the bookshop like how he sees himself-- not good enough, a compromise when Crowley deserves more-- while Crowley sees the bookshop as clever and safe and home. The same thing that Aziraphale sees as the best he could offer Crowley when he wants to give him more is something that Crowley sees as the most romantic of gestures and evocative of their love for each other and the life they're trying to make together. Aziraphale has still not fully seen this, I don't think. It's the root of the confusion of "you can't leave this bookshop" in 2.06. I think we can all see that Crowley means that Aziraphale can't leave him and their life together but, ironically, Aziraphale had spent the whole season low key trying to figure out how to get them the fuck out of the damn bookshop lol.
Crowley had been struggling to feel safe in there since the fire and why even run it anymore when Heaven hadn't shown up in years and Aziraphale never wanted to run a bookshop? I think he was struggling to figure out whether or not he had an obligation to keep the embassy open or if he could just pack it in and tell Crowley about the cottage and just go live like normal people. He didn't know how to handle that with threats of Heaven and Hell and Armageddon still looming-- The Finale'll solve the rest of that-- but he was circling asking Crowley to go with him to the South Downs. So, when Crowley is all "you can't leave this bookshop" and means him and their life, he thinks Aziraphale was breaking up with him when Aziraphale replies with that (brutal lol) "oh, Crowley, nothing lasts forever." Because Aziraphale thinks they're talking about the actual bookshop because, like The Baby Swap was in S1, The Final 15 is a series of miscommunications based around how no one can understand each other because they're all too in their own heads when it comes to what they're thinking/worrying about to fully recognize what the other person is saying.
Tumblr media
I think that all of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers & Traders represent different things in the story based on their personalities and on what kind of businesses they run but, running under all of that, is the fact that Aziraphale actually has two businesses on Whickber Street. He's also a landlord. He owns the land and many of the buildings on and in which the people on Whickber Street are working/living, which means that, metaphorically-speaking? They're all Aziraphale's businesses, too. Aziraphale and Crowley's because they're both the bookshop and Whickber Street. The shopkeepers and traders exist in their own rights but they also exist to highlight stuff about Crowley and Aziraphale and their story.
The two angels who come into the shop in S2-- Gabriel and Muriel-- help further define the books metaphor, imho. Muriel, established to be really lonely, asks Crowley at the end if they can "take a book" with them because "books are like people, only portable." Gabriel spends the season trying to rearrange the books in what winds up being metaphorical for how he sees people. He doesn't need categories or labels or genres and he doesn't judge by their covers-- it's just open up the book, read what it's saying, and group it alongside others by its words. Yes, it gets you some wild bookshelves and possibly the inability to ever find any book ever again lol but, if we're talking about people? It's a great idea. Gabriel and Muriel see books as people because that's who wrote them-- they're the ideas of other living beings and represent their lives. Aziraphale being an avid collector of books and protective of them and careful in preserving their history is, to me, reflecting how much he loves humanity and his ongoing quest to understand life-- pretty much in the same way that us humans love books.
Agreed on the clutter and the million desks and everything in the shop being symbolic of Aziraphale's inner state. I'd also say that it's actually also symbolic of Crowley's, too-- more than it might appear at first to be. He was never really safe in his Hell-owned flat in S1. The bookshop is his home, too--and also, I'd wager, why he never got another flat after Shax took his old one. He could have just gotten another flat or we could have seen him living in a hotel or something in S2. Instead, he's fooling Hell into thinking that he's living entirely in his car while he's really only there for a couple of hours in the morning because it also serves to make it look like he's saying "look at poor me here in my car! I'm definitely not living with the angel!" 😂 I think it's also why Aziraphale never notices that Crowley lost his flat. Why would he when Crowley just basically lives in the shop most nights, all Romeo sneaking out of Juliet's bed before dawn (one of the things which "no nightingales" references being that bit of Shakespeare's play, likely really written by one of them, probably Aziraphale)?
Crowley stays most of the night and goes out the side door before the sun comes up to avoid them getting caught. Those are basically "the rules" of their relationship that Aziraphale refers to in Lockdown, I think. If we go back up to the pictures of the bookshop that the OP was kind enough to provide, we can see that side door on the right-- built in as part of Aziraphale's design in the part of the shop that opens into the alleyway, not on Whickber Street. The bookshop was likely built on an angle just for that purpose. The bookshop's side door is directly opposite Mrs. Sandwich's building and that's probably how she and Crowley became friendly-- they ran into each other in the alley at night. It's a bit of sleight-of-hand from our no-stranger-to-the-art-of-prestidigitation magician. Anyone watching Aziraphale would be looking at the front door of the bookshop and be far less likely to notice Crowley slip out the side door in the dark. No Bentley parked in front of the shop when Crowley's staying past business hours, as well, as what else could scream "totally fucking" more than Crowley's ridiculously recognizable car on the curb in front of the shop at 3am?
Tumblr media
Also why/how Crowley was in his car on a side street a fast two minute drive away from the bookshop first thing in the morning in 2.01. The way these two just want to wake up together and have breakfast in peace... 😢
<<It also works with the fire and the reconstitution of the bookshop going with the discorporation and re-constitution via Adam of Aziraphale and the book shop (and the Bentley, that is interesting as Crowley did not die, hmm, further thought perhaps there for me)>>
Yes! That's what I think, too. The Bentley burning is interesting because Crowley's kind of going through a paralleling kind of thing but maybe not quite the same thing. The Bentley goes on fire because Crowley drives it through the ring of fire around the M-25, right? As he's about to, we flashback and see that Crowley influenced the building of the M-25--so, the highway is symbolic of Crowley having made his own mess and him having to get himself out of it. If he didn't, it would have eventually consumed him because he was literally trapped inside it. He's breaking free of his own stuff versus Aziraphale getting kind of accidentally caught in his own web a bit.
The bookshop is Aziraphale's M-25-- it's the "same daily round" that he's stuck in, like the horoscope God read. I'm sure he didn't want it to burn entirely. It is his home and he loves his books and all of his things and wouldn't have wanted to have lost all of them but you know that scene for which they made that concept art but then cut out of the end of 2.02? The one where the bookshop is the only thing that's survived an apocalypse and was supposed to be someone's dream?
Yeah, I bet that was going to be Aziraphale's dream. His nightmare, really. He's seen so many horrors in the whole history of Earth and remained past so much death and his nightmare would be having to see Earth destroyed so the bookshop kind of representing him there in the dream in that way, maybe? But also a nightmare in the sense that Aziraphale feels like he cannot get the hell out of the bookshop. He feels trapped in it because of how it represents how he tries to balance all the different facets of his life. His whole breakdown comes about as a result of basically just being like fuck this, I can't take it anymore-- everyone come on in at once, we're having a party! and then promptly, understandably, having an anxiety attack over exactly that. It's the angel who is going too fast in S2, not the demon.
<<but I also like to believe he doesn't sleep, in my opinion due to trauma, and I can't quite figure that bit out yet. Is it lazy writing or did he exaggerate or have pyjamas for show?>>
I'll agree with you that I don't think that Aziraphale sleeps well a lot of the time. I can definitely see that and for the same trauma-related reasons you mentioned. He has problems sleeping at times-- nightmares, etc.. Like a lot of people, he also likely doesn't sleep or sleep very well when in one of his fasting (actually: depression) periods.
I believe the main thing that causes people to believe that Aziraphale doesn't sleep at all is the bit from the book where he's talking about how he and Crowley don't "need sleep" but... just read it again below and look at how Crowley phrases the last line of his reply:
Aziraphale didn’t rise to it. “What are we going to do now?”
“Try and get some sleep.”
“You don’t need sleep. I don’t need sleep. Evil never sleeps, and Virtue is ever-vigilant.”
“Evil in general, maybe. This specific part of it has got into the habit of getting its head down occasionally.”
I can practically hear Aziraphale's flirty/teasing tone here and the idea that that is what's happening is reinforced by the last line of Crowley's reply above. It's more common in most places, even if it sometimes happens in Britain, to say "laying your head down" to refer to sleep, as opposed to saying "getting [your] head down." If you lay your head down, you're going to sleep. If you get your head down, you're simply moving your head down to a lower position... do you see where I'm going with this? 😂
Now, add into it that he also uses in the sentence the word habit, which isn't just something one does consistently but the head covering of a nun... and now take a little trip around things like how we say that people who are lovers are "sleeping together" and sleep being phrased as to "rest your head" while still also the head being not just the place where the brain is stored but the tip of the penis and getting that "down" would be to satisfy an erection and "to get/give head" being slang for oral sex and we're circling what the sleep paragraph in the book is really more about than just actual sleep.
Crowley does sleep but he's referring more to the fact that he's "gotten in the habit" of "getting his head down"-- aka going down on Aziraphale. That's the kind of rest he's suggesting they have, beyond some actual shut-eye-- probably a bit of both.
Crowley also uses the word occasionally here-- a word that comes from the Latin cadere, which means... to fall. If you were a pair of wordplay-happy supernatural entities who ushered in the so-called Fall of Man together-- and one of you is a fallen angel and the other is called Mr. Fell and you both fell in love with one another a long time ago-- you'd absolutely love flirting using words that link to the verb meaning to fall as euphemistic for making love, particularly for falling/going down on one another.
As such, when Crowley uses occasionally in this part of the book, it doesn't mean 'every once in a while' so much as it means 'as the occasion calls for it' and there's plenty of reason to assume that it there are plenty of occasions...
This word is also in the series. It's in Aziraphale's innuendo-laden, verbally italicized use of "special occasions" in 1.01:
Tumblr media
Around the 14th and 15th centuries, special actually meant a person's lover or romantic partner. It's really only sort-of survived into today in use of the phrase "special someone" and that is slightly different than calling someone your "special", the way it was apparently done in those earlier centuries. A "special occasion", in Ineffable Husbands Speak, would definitely be a reason to celebrate outside of the usual ones, yes, but it also appears to be going down on your sweetheart, which is what Aziraphale is expressing interesting in doing in that 1.01 scene.
Here's where we can just say now after S2 that the above "special occasions" scene is even funnier because Aziraphale isn't telling Crowley anything about the wine that he doesn't already know, as he and Aziraphale were drinking from that stash of Chateauneuf-de-Pape back in 1941, Part 2. Aziraphale was likely bringing it up in that 1.01 moment, in part, so he can say the words around it. How many cases did Aziraphale pick up for his "occasions" with his special? A "sleep"-relevant number: a dozen. 😂 That joke has apparently grown on him since when Crowley made it in 1601...
Tumblr media
This also all gets even funnier when you add in the other, descriptive passage about Crowley and sleep from the book, which has lines like: Crowley likes sleep, it was one of the pleasures of the world. True of both sleep and sex and the rest of the paragraph talks about sleep but using sentences the word choice for which makes them alternately appear to be about sleep and sex or worded in such a way as to be applicable both at once, all reinforcing the idea of sleep having an euphemistic layer to it.
Aziraphale's response to Crowley's suggestion that they "try to get some sleep" in the book is often taken really literally, I think, when the tone is actually kind of light and flirty. It's basically the same tone as this, similar scene from the series:
Tumblr media
In the book, it's more clever use of puns. Virtue-- Aziraphale, here-- is a word that just originally a human man and "manliness" and then came to mean good moral character. Virtue, says Aziraphale with tongue-in-cheek, is "ever-vigilant." Vigilant means-- literally-- to be awake. Virtue is a word used in religious circles with a nod towards chastity and "purity"-- the opposite of "sin", like that of Adam and Eve-- so Aziraphale seems to be dryly saying that, as an angel, he's supposed to be Virtue itself-- the epitome of virtuosity-- but he's more of the word's original definition of a human man... one who might supposed to be "ever-vigilant"-- always awake, so, euphemistically, never getting any wink wink sleep-- but they both know that's not true because, as we've learned, Crowley's gotten in the habit of getting his head down on frequent occasions.
Adding to the Adam and Eve/Fall of Man & "occasionally" meaning to fall theme is that they're prompted by Aziraphale using the idiom "evil never sleeps" as a joke about Crowley-- referencing Eve in there. Evil sounding phonetically like "Eve-il". Another, similar joke in which they are paralleling themselves to Adam & Eve is them going off to have lunch (and "lunch") at the end of 1.06, with Crowley referring to them going to have food and sex together by saying: "Time to leave The Garden. Let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?"
Tumblr media
So, anyway, the bit of the book that people use to justify the idea that Aziraphale doesn't sleep isn't really saying that he doesn't, imho, and there's nothing in the tv series that suggests that, either. Sleep-- and I'm just talking about sleep now here lol-- is obviously restorative and it can be peaceful. Technically, Aziraphale is correct that they don't "need" it. They could, theoretically, probably survive for all of eternity without ever sleeping a wink, etc.... but that's what they'd be doing-- just surviving. There's a big difference between living and just not dying. Being able to subsist without having something is not the same thing as not needing it.
What I think Crowley and Aziraphale have discovered in living on Earth for all this time is that their their human bodies like and need what other a lot of human bodies like and/or need. Even if they can, technically, survive without these things, they also realize that doing so is not actually healthy or pleasurable or really living. If they didn't have the capacity to need and enjoy living like humans, they wouldn't have human bodies. The things that exist for the humans and are necessary for them exist for them, too. Their bodies work better and they feel better when they breathe and eat and sleep and talk with one another. They need nature and art and companionship the same way that the humans do. Like some humans do, they both enjoy sex and feel romantic love. They could, technically, remain alive without all of these things but being alive is not the same thing as living.
Aziraphale knows that he needs to eat to feel healthy-- that food can affect how his mind and body feel and perform-- as much as he just enjoys eating. I think sleep might be the same thing for him. He struggles with it a lot in ways similar to any person who has been through traumatic events and has related mental health issues but I think he does try to sleep. I honestly cannot imagine being completely awake for over six millennia without a break from the world. Aziraphale is also an introvert so I think he might find the idea of taking a rest from people for awhile extra-appealing, even if he might have felt guilty about wanting to sometimes. I think he probably didn't sleep for the first couple of thousand years, though-- if he hadn't tried food until 2500 B.C., it's probably likely that he hadn't allowed himself to try to sleep prior to that either. He might have needed Crowley to show him how or at least help him give himself permission to try it at some point.
Aziraphale also likes to eat and drink and fuck and there's a certain threshold of those activities that, when crossed, requires at least a nap lol. There's also maybe just Crowley's sleeping habits as a potential suggestion of Aziraphale's. When Aziraphale comes back from Edinburgh in S2, Crowley tells him that he didn't sleep at all the prior night while Aziraphale was gone.
Tumblr media
This is suggestive of what other things, like Lockdown, suggest, which is that Crowley has a human sleep routine, more or less. He can survive without a night's sleep probably better than any of us can but he does feel the effects of it if he doesn't sleep. So, this being who technically doesn't need sleep--or has been told to think such a thing is true, anyway-- knows he really does and goes to bed at night most nights the same way that we do. It's also healthy for him to at least try to do so. He has PTSD and an anxiety disorder-- he needs sleep to manage that, even if sleep is often the first thing to be disturbed by it, which is basically what Crowley says happened while Aziraphale was in Edinburgh. (How much of the reason why Crowley couldn't sleep was Gabriel-related anxiety and how much was Crowley having trouble sleeping without Aziraphale is debatable...)
So, if we go with the idea that Crowley basically lives in the bookshop at night until before dawn and that he has been doing that most nights for awhile now and if we add in that he also canonically sleeps for a bit at night each night, then Crowley goes to bed like a human at some point each night in the bookshop. It seems likely that Aziraphale goes to bed with him. They both would inevitably sleep better with one another nearby.
Aziraphale staying in that bed after Crowley leaves in the early morning, though, is probably another story. I tend to think that he struggles with the bed if Crowley's not there and will get up after he's gone and have tea or go to Give Me Coffee or do basically anything to try to distract himself from the misery of his Crowley-free mornings.
I'm sure what had him reject Crowley hunkering down during the lockdowns was just that he didn't think he could handle having Crowley there in the mornings, only to have to go back to him leaving after the lockdowns were over. I'm still not totally sure that they didn't actually wind up maybe doing that anyway-- at minimum, I think Crowley apparated over after the phone call, but I don't know that he stayed-- but, either way, this is why they just need to get to the South Downs Cottage, dammit.
Speaking of the bookshop, theories on what could be upstairs?
ooooo the BIG QUESTION.
so we can see a bit of the second floor in all these pics:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
basically all we know for sure is there are A LOT MORE BOOKS, both stacked around the railing and on the circle of shelves. neil has decided not to comment on what else might be there (YET 👀) but he’s confirmed that much.
apart from that, we can see from the outside that there are six windows on the second floor:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i’m going to assume they’re part of the shop because they’re Very On Fire when the rest of the shop is on fire. SO. taking all that into account, you end up with something like this:
Tumblr media
where the thin grey circle is the railing and the brown one is the bookshelves (as you can see in the first pic, it doesn’t circle all the way around!)
the rest is a complete mystery. i mean i’m sure the actual set was empty because they didn’t need to fill it, but in theory there’s room for some interesting stuff! with the first floor for scale i can imagine a whole flat built around that circle of shelves — a bed aziraphale never sleeps in, comfy chairs, every other angel knick-knack he’s encountered in his life. in my personal headcanon it’s all books and hoarded items covered in dust, which he leaves for authenticity.
thank you for asking!! i’d love to hear other people’s thoughts if they want to share :)
262 notes · View notes
puckinghischier · 2 days ago
Text
okay so…not that anyone asked but i have some…thoughts about this discourse surrounding jack’s signing last night
and honestly….i’m sad. i’m so insanely sad that so many people who claim to love this team are so quick to assume jack is a lost cause asshole. i think so much of it is entitlement. and yeah, as people, everyone deserve kindness and overall base level social behaviors. but where is that for jack right now?
where’s the grace and understanding that he’s tired. they likely had a day full of practice and drills and workouts before this signing. i mean, did he even get to go home before he was expected to sit and sign autographs for hours? why was he alone? why didn’t they put him with someone else? i know the answer is likely because he was the most sought after signature there and they didn’t want to make his line even longer, but still. i feel like jack has been very open and intentional with the fact he doesn’t like to do media. he wants to play hockey and go home.
and yeah, he also knew it came with the territory, but it doesn’t matter. if you sign up to be a teacher, you know there’s going to be early mornings, but that doesn’t mean you have to like getting up early. if you agree to work in healthcare, you know there’s going to aspects of the job that are gross and unfortunate, but it doesn’t mean you have to like cleaning up bodily fluids. the same can be said for these guys. they signed up to be professional hockey players, they knew media and signings and events were going to be expected of them, but it doesn’t mean they have to like it.
but back to entitlement thing. i think it has become so normalized to create personas for real people in our heads that people are quite literally unable to separate the fantasy from reality. and i mean, i’ll even say i contribute to the problem. all fanfic writers do. we create these idealized and fictional versions of these men, but the ability to differentiate between the two cannot be lost in the process. but i think it has been. i think there’s this unrealistic expectation thrust upon all of them, but especially jack.
he’s popular, he’s cutie, and he’s good at hockey. of course he’s going to have a mass following. but…he’s just a guy, y’all. he’s a guy that has bad days, good days, who gets tired, who has a social battery. and last night, i think that social battery had just run out. do you know how long he’s been watched and in the media? do you know how long he’s been the most watched hughes, the expectations he’s carried on him for years?
i just think there needs to be some compassion and grace here. going back to the whole “people pay to watch me play” incident is a little excessive, imo. i mean, are we going to hold every single player to everything they’ve ever said in the box? does it define who they are and their character? i have not once seen anyone berate and question quinn’s character when he told someone they were “fucking nothing”. which, if you really want to get down to it, is worse than what jack said.
but no, jack is expected to be this guy with rainbows coming out of his ass all the time, apparently. i think the concept of social cues and situational awareness has been so lost because of the screen culture right now. people do so much communication through screens and phones that they forget, people aren’t always enthusiastic and bright, even if they add an exclamation point to their text. last night was not something jack chose to do of his own accord. he was told to do it, and he did it. he made sure the kids had a good time and felt cared for. he signed everything that came across his table. could he have been a little more chatty? yeah. could he have maybe smiled a bit more? yeah.
but seriously, he knew he was going to have to sign a million different items and see a million different people. the whole point of a signing is just that. if he was even remotely going to get out of there on time, there’s no way he could have had any meaningful conversation with every single person. and i feel like he’s said before he prioritizes/likes kids? i could be wrong, so don’t hold me to that.
but the point is, this whole situation is so sad and such a good example of how gossip blogs only care about getting likes and reblogs and attention. they don’t care about these players, no matter how much they claim to. and people are so quick to take everything they read for fact. personally, i think jack is just…antisocial.
i think he has a persona on the ice because he’s in his element, he’s comfortable, and he’s excited to be there. when he’s with his family and around his friends, he seems to be an overall happy guy. but around strangers? strangers that want to talk about his stats, how he played in this game or that game, that are shoving their items in his face to sign, people that he’ll likely never see again? he doesn’t give too much away.
and before people mention the being snippy and short with the workers, i wasn’t there so i didn’t see what happened. if he was, i’m not defending that behavior, but i don’t think it’s because he thinks he’s above them or thinks he’s “god’s gift to hockey” like i’ve seen thrown around so much today. we have all been snappy with people we shouldn’t have before. it doesn’t mean someone is this terrible person with a high horse attitude. i think it’s a combination of fatigue, stress, and maybe even some anxious energy that had been built up and made its way out.
anyways, i’ve said enough i think, and this will be the first and only time i talk about this, but i had too many thoughts swirling in my brain to just keep them there. be nice. show grace. you’re allowed to be disappointed if you attended last night and felt like he was maybe dry and dismissive, but please step back and put yourself in his shoes. not every person has a social and yappy personality. some people don’t speak unless they have something to say. and that’s okay!!!
and for the love of god, quit giving gossip blogs what they so desperately crave
96 notes · View notes
mythalism · 1 day ago
Text
another thing i love, but this one is controversial, is the portrayal of the inquisitor. NOT their tiny insignificant role in the game until the 11th hour while they send us weirdly formal and deeply out of character letters but the actual dialogue from my lavellan and the way she carries herself in the scenes we do see of her (though there should have been more, without a doubt) is actually my favorite part of the game probably. i know this is maybe a very solavellan inquisitor exclusive experience and also just dumb luck that the way they wrote her in this game fits my lavellan but holy shit im so obsessed with it. its not even how i imagined how she would behave but its even better? the way they managed to convey her growth and maturity after 10 years literally floored me, and yet she still maintains this wistfulness that feels so incredibly right. the way she speaks with such confidence and conviction in her conversation with rook about her relationship with solas and then suddenly dissolves into pauses and stutters and “i don’t know”s when confronted with the possibility that there might actually be a future for them is INSANE. “or maybe I’m the prideful one, imagining his broken heart so that I don’t have to face my folly. that i loved someone who made such grave mistakes. that I might love him still” IS THE BEST LINE IN THE ENTIRE GAME. TO ME. IM SO SERIOUS. i watched that scene over and over and over and over again. the way she sits rook down and demands they tell her what solas did at the ritual with such authority but also the faintest glimmer of naive, foolish hope in her eyes that he might be salvageable is so sickening, and the way she turns it around on rook in the end to playfully ask about their love life. it’s like watching The Inquisitor switch turn off mid conversation. and there she is!!! that’s her!!!! of course she would ask rook about their lover of course she would she fell in love during the end of the world too!!! the several knowing looks shared between her and morrigan (“speaking from the heart, inquisitor?”) that imply a much deeper friendship has blossomed since we last saw them. her one little line with dorian - “something like that”. even the way she quietly sneaks into the throne room at the end, completely alone, as if she snuck away from the rest holed up below the archons palace. “even if those you have wronged asked you to stop?” the pained look on her face. the way she gets on her knees to look him in the eye. the way she speaks in elvhen, the implication that she has been studying it over the past 10 years. the fact that she does not touch him until after he takes her hands. literally every second of it is so good. it feels so so so right to me. it’s honestly as if, because my inquisitor has grown older than me by almost a decade, it was hard for me to imagine what she’d be like in her mid-30s, after so many hard years of grief and loneliness and the burdens of leadership. and the writers were just like “it’s okay, here, this is what she would be like after all this time”, AND THEY WERE RIGHT!? and it’s so subtle but it’s literally spot-on. it feels like the most natural progression of who she was. a little bit more sad, a bit more quiet, her words are more measured, no more snarky one liners (and maybe that’s why I love it so much- it’s such a refreshing change from listening to rook talk like they’re on Disney channel), there is a weight to her words and her presence that conveys her age and experience so clearly to me. veilguard made me love my inquisitor so much more. it has made me understand her so much more. it has clarified who she was in inquisition in the context of who she becomes later. im so obsessed with it im SO OBSESSED WITH HER!!!
75 notes · View notes
livinghalfway · 18 hours ago
Text
Right Reasons; Wrong Kid
Summary: Batfam thinks Damian is being kidnapped when they see Danny getting manhandled into a car by Vlad; Danny loves to make Vlad's life difficult and puts up a fight getting into the car.
Word Count: 1450
Being in Gotham was the last place Danny wanted to be today, especially when he had to be here with Vlad. The fruitloop had somehow convinced his parents that he should go to this stupid three day business conference with him.
While Danny can't make any decisions right now he can certainly make Vlad regret his. Which is why Danny doesn't feel an ounce of embarrassment at what he is currently doing.
"Daniel, get in the car." Vlad hissed at him with a tight smile as they both stood outside of the building the conference was being hosted in.
"No." He said; even going as far as to take a step backwards to further spite the man in front of him.
It was clear Vlad was losing his patience with him if the subtle flash of red in his eyes is anything to go off of. "Daniel, I won't ask again. Get in the car now, or I can drag you in. The choice is yours, but you will be getting in this car one way or another."
"You really gonna drag a kid into your car in front of all these people you're trying so hard to impress?" Danny looked from side to side at all the people congregating on the sidewalk and steps as they wait for their vehicles to arrive.
"I'm hardly the first person they've seen that has had to deal with a stubborn child refusing to listen." Vlad says as he takes a threatening step forward, "Now get in the car."
"No."
Seemingly annoyed but not surprised Vlad takes a deep breath before his hand, like a snake, strikes forward and grabs a hold of him before beginning to pull. Just as quickly though Danny is trying to pull away with just as much strength. Quickly taking a moment to look around he sees that others are already starting to look in their direction; perfect.
With him distracted though Vlad was able to get a sharp tug on him causing him to stubble towards the car. Before he can fall into the car though Danny is shooting his foot forward, firmly planting it down as his hands land on both sides of the open car door.
"Gonna have to try harder than that, fruitloop. I can't make it too easy for you." Danny teased as he fought against Vlad’s pushing.
Vlad doesn't say anything back to him besides giving a low growl. This situation is clearly not going the way he wanted to and Vlad’s frustration was starting to show, and Danny was determined to watch this man break in front of all these people he so desperately wanted to impress.
He locked his arms and knees when he felt Vlad start pushing harder against his back. Preparing himself to jump to the side the moment Vlad loosened his grip even slightly. What he wasn't prepared for though was for the weight pushing against him to suddenly disappear.
"What is going on here?" A deceivingly friendly voice sounds out behind him.
Before Danny can realize what has just happened though a much stronger hand is gripping his shoulder and yanking him away from the open car door. Finally able to see more than just the car's interior Danny see's that three other men are now standing by the car.
Two of them, a teen not much older than himself and a middle aged man, are standing in front of him as if forming a wall between him and Vlad. Who is being held in place by the third man.
Danny can see that Vlad was just as thrown off by these strangers as he is based on the startled look on his face. What confuses him though is when instead of becoming angry like he expects Vlad only looks surprised as he takes in the three guys with them.
"Bruce Wayne!" Vlad announces with a tight grin, "I was just trying to get my son to cooperate with me and get in the car. I'm sure you understand how teenage boys are."
"I'm not your son!" Danny instinctively yells out; no way in hell was he going to let Vlad tell people they were any way related.
It took him a second to register what name Vlad had even said.
Bruce Wayne? He remembers Sam and Tucker talking about that guy and his family when they found out he was going to Gotham. Which means if he's remembering correctly then the young man next to Vlad is most likely Dick Grayson and the older teen next to him is Tim Drake.
Without looking at him Bruce leans towards him and whispers, "Shh Damian, let me handle this."
Wait. What?
"I'm not-" Danny tried to say that his name wasn't Damian, but was quickly interrupted before he could.
"Damian, quiet." Bruce lowly growls; still not moving his gaze to look at Danny. "Actually, Mr. Masters, you'll find that this is my son, and I don't think you should be putting your hands on him."
Vlad looks from Bruce to Danny and then back to Bruce, "While I do agree that you and Daniel share some resemblance this is not your son Mr. Wayne."
It seems Bruce wasn't going to entertain Vlad's "lie" because he still doesn't bother to even look at Danny. Tim on the other hand seems to consider what Vlad said, and turns to actually look at his face.
Danny almost laughs out loud when he sees shock immediately overtake Tim's face. At least one of these fruit loops is smart enough to recognize that he isn't the youngest Wayne.
"Bruce, this isn't Damian." Tim states with wide eyes still locked with his.
Upon hearing this the other two Wayne's finally take a hard look at Danny for themselves.
"Oh my God B, that's not Damian!" Dick exclaims before releasing his hold on Vlad.
Bruce on the other hand is frozen in shock as he stares at Danny as he comes to the realization that the boy in front of him is in fact not his youngest son. Snapping himself out of his stupor, the older man finally addresses Vlad. "Mr. Masters, my deepest apologies. It seems this young man and my son look remarkably alike, and I assumed the worst when I saw him fighting to get into the car."
Vlad takes a step forward towards Danny clear with his intentions of getting them into the car now, but before he can grab him Bruce is once more taking a step in front of Danny. "I would actually like to have a quick word with Daniel if you won't mind."
"And why is that?"
"I have a son his age after all, maybe I can help ease this teenage rebellion phase, and cause less fights when it comes to getting in the car."
Danny must have been more focused on the growing argument in front of him more than he thought because he ends up slightly jumping when he feels a sudden hand on his shoulder. Looking to his right he sees that Dick is now standing next him with a soft smile. "Daniel, right?"
“Danny actually, and you’re Dick?”
"Yup! That's me," He gestures to the boy standing on Danny's other side, "and this is Tim. Sorry about all this; we thought our brother was being kidnapped."
"Do I seriously look that much like him?" At this point Danny had to meet Damian if the guy's family was even confusing the two of them.
Tim is giving him a concentrated look when he replies, "It's like the two of you could be twins or maybe even clones. The eye color is the biggest difference between the two of you."
If Danny didn't know any better he would think Tim was accusing him of being a clone based on the tone of his voice. He knew Gotham was weird, but he didn't think he would have to worry about cloning here. "While I was adopted when I was pretty young, but I think I'd know if I had a twin or if I was a clone."
"Crazy things happen all the time in Gotham."
Well, that doesn’t sound ominous at all. Danny can't believe saying this, but it's probably time to get Vlad's attention and get the hell out of here. He already has one crazy fruitloop to worry about; he doesn't need more. "Vlad, I think we really need to-."
“Father, what is the meaning of all this?” A new voice interrupts him, and when he sees who it is truly shocking to see a mirror of his own face. The other is also now looking at him with something akin to shock and grief.
“Damian?”
“Danyal.”
101 notes · View notes
revelboo · 10 hours ago
Note
I want to shake your hand because, you have successfully turned me into a Starescream simp. I’m in love with him now 🙇😫
All according to the plan..
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Everything Is Alright Pt 64
IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader
• Wings lifting aggressively, his servos are gentle as he moves your hair away from your face. Even now, he can feel that connection with you twisting through him. You’d passed out almost immediately and he’d been nearly unable to force himself to close the plating over his spark and sever that bond. It’s still there, but not as intense as it has been. It’ll always be there now and it’s a comfort. “Go away,” he growls, aware of Soundwave hovering nearby, worried. Judging what he’d done even though he hasn’t said a word of condemnation after.
• Venting in exasperation, Soundwave sets an energon cube near the Seeker. He’d mass shifted back after, mostly because Starscream had curled himself around you, denta bared and optics half mad. Spark bonded to you. At least partially. He’s not even sure if a full bond is possible with an organic, but the fact that there was something there for a spark to even bond to? It’s a hopeful feeling that spreads through him. “My quarters,” he growls back, pointedly nudging the cube closer. Because the sooner the Seeker can mass shift, the better. And you need to wake up soon, because Starscream’s mental stability hinges on you. He’d seen enough of the SIC’s thoughts to realize just how broken he is. How dangerous. But not only for the Seeker, your stillness tangles through him even though he knows you’re only sleeping. Your mind is quiet now and he misses the bright chaos of you, needs that noise in his processor.
• Watching the communications officer pointedly drink, he can’t deny his own hunger. The exhaustion though is gone for the moment. An effect of the bond? He’s not sure. It’s not like he’d ever expected to spark bond, he’d been bound by duty before the war and there’d been no one he trusted that much after. Guilt twists through him as he curls an arm more tightly around you, feeling the warmth of your breath against him. Can you feel the tether between you both? He’d bound himself more tightly to you without even asking, without giving you a choice or say. But he can’t regret doing it. “Who’d have imagined humans have a spark,” he murmurs, even though spark isn’t the right word. What he’s felt has been similar, but not the same. He still remembers the warmth and light of you seeping into him, wanting to wrap himself around it and protect it.
• Cheek resting on Starscream, you can feel the familiar hum of his spark against you and it soothes your sleepy confusion as you wake up. That sound is home and safety as you press your face against his throat and his palm slides down your back. Everything is a warm haze, as you remember what you did with Soundwave and Starscream both. It seems wrong that you’re allowed both of them, an oversight on behalf of the universe, because your greedy heart hadn’t been able to choose. Starscream’s servos cup your chin to tip your face up and his worried optics search your eyes. You’re aware of Soundwave back to his normal size watching over you both. “How do you feel?” Starscream asks, raspy voice barely more than a whisper as if he doesn’t want Soundwave to be a part of this conversation.
• When you open your eyes and your mind whispers through him, tension he hasn’t even realized he was carrying eases. Because he had been worried the Seeker had broken you trying to steal something you hadn’t been willing to give or understood you could give. Feeling the wrongness of not offering you a choice to bond, not explaining anything, just taking. He understands the impulse, but it’s still wrong. Selfish. Even if it guarantees your safety from Starscream.
• “Sleepy,” you reply, but under that, you feel good. More relaxed and happy than you’ve been in a long time. There’s a feeling of something missing nagging at you, but you can’t pin it down. Just that you want to be here in his arms, want to be close to the hum of his spark, because it’s where you belong. His servos release your chin and you lay your head back down against him, lifting a hand to press against this chassis. That hum pulls at you, coaxing and familiar. Home.
Previous
79 notes · View notes