#i just like. Needed to fix the bros relationship as the primary plot

[mejomonster]

I do wish I'd written shen wei more baby gay in awe of zhao yunlan in what makes monsters stop devouring

But also like. I introduced ye zun reuniting way earlier so he's distracted by that happiness at reuniting and reconciling/stress of what it Means for him politically. Meanwhile zhao yunlans too gun ho to "I think ur bro maybe should die" and "why does this zhao yunlan guy CARE about me so much?" When shen wei is just like a babe who has NEVER gotten attention personally in his life like this let alone such devoted intense singular attention on him and his actions at All Times

So needless to say shen wei resorts to his "try to control everything" tendency instead of opening up quite so vulnerably right away.

Also like its. Actually 10k year old shen wei who just Thinks he's baby shen wei again since he temporarily forgot so. Of course he's a little less overwhelmed by a crush he Actually already had forever but Can't remember.

Still... one day maybe I'll just write indulgent blushing young shen wei extras like little mini stories that didn't make the cut. Cause like shen wei definitely was super gay and fell for zhao yunlan Within Weeks and so immensely flattered overwhelmed and scared zhao yunlan cared about him so Earnestly. And that's so cute and sweet and I wrote a bit of it but I could always go for more ToT

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

ML Lies Episode Predictions:

There’s Two?? (don’t trust my math) more days before lies completely destroys me, so I’m going to make some predictions, and by predictions I mean wishlist. My walls are already up, so if none of these happen I won’t be disappointed, but also a girl can dream: (this is somehow 1700 entire words long because I have a lot of feelings, so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome)

—Adrien and Kagami’s are secretly dating: please I want it so bad, I’ve talked about this so much and emotionally I need it!! At the very least I want them to sneak out together so so bad I’d cry. But also, if they’re hiding it from their other friends for whatever reason, thats SUCH good angst potential.

—If we get to see some kinda montage of them sneaking out??? Id ride that high for months. Even just one actual example of them working together to sneak out would obliterate me. Like, how it shows Kagami sneaking out to go to the game in Ikari Gozen?? I’d cry

—The breakup happens as a direct result of it being a secret relationship: this would be SUCH a good parallel to lukanette. Lukanette broke up because Luka wanted Marinette to be more open with him and he hated being in the dark, so just, the parallels if Adrien wants to be more open about adrimi and Kagami is like “you dont understand, if your dad finds out about us he will end this immediately” but Adrien wants to believe that its going to be okay and no one will react badly? I’m probably explaining this badly and I’ll try to explain it better later I just,,, want parallels and opposites and truth v lies and hhhhh

—Fencing??? Friendly/ affectionate competition??? Them being idiot jocks in love??? Please??? I want to see them compete!!

—I’d love to see Kagami character growth + Adrimi relationship development!!! I want her to love herself more and be more comfortable around him!!!

—Specifically, if there was a parallel to Riposte,, and Adrien beat Kagami in a fencing match and Kagami was like “Oh nice!! :D good game!” I’d be so happy I’d cry!! And it’s kinda implied by Chat Blanc that they’re already there in there relationship?? But not confirmed?? So if I saw it or saw confirmation of it I’d cry!!

—in one of the released photos it looked like they were holding hands??? And at this point my expectations are so low I don’t even trust it yet but blease,,, let them hold hands,, i’d cry of joy

—If Adrien is also constantly leaving and disappearing due to akuma responsibilities, I want it to read SUPER differently from the Lukanette because I love parallels/foils!! Marinette disappears on her dates with Luka and its just “oh marinette is really distracted and busy and frazzled” but I dont think Adrimi but be loke that at all!!! Because as far as Kagami knows, she has the same backstory/current story as Adrien. She’s risking a lot by sneaking out to go on dates with him?? So Adrien seeing an akuma and being like “oh sorry father is calling” isnt even suspicious or anything??? Its 100% believable!!! If her mother called she’d immediately be like “oh fricking heck i Need To Leave this instant immediately.” So its less “Adrien doesnt care about her” and more of just twisting the knife and reminding her that life doesnt want them to be together and Adrien is never going to be free!!! Big ouch to her heart!!!

—also I want!!!! Them!!! To talk about their feelings!!! Because parallels to truth!!! Adrien is like “sorry I have to go” and Kagami is like “oh I hate that so much” and Adrien is like “big same.” (Also idk how realistic this is but I’d love it if ‘Kagami talking about her feelings’ wasn’t the cause of strife in their relationship!! Like, she talks about how she feels and when she’s upset and Adrien is like “yeah me too” and they’re just,, good bros)

—I need them to stay friends after the breakup, i need it i need it i need it!!! And the whole issue is!! I feel like the main reason they’d date is to try and hang out more?!?? So if the breakup was actually them talking to each other and being like “hey so this isnt working with sneaking out, we’re going to need to go back to the way it was before,” rather than them saying they were bad for each other???? Hoo boy i’d lose my mind

—Also!!! My favorite prediction, I’d die of joy if this happened (and also of angst). I want there to be so much drama with “secret relatinship” stuff that they try to fix it by going public with their relationship!! Very low chance of this actually happening but its okay if it doesnt, thats what the fanfiction I’m inevitably going to write immediately after watching the episode is for!!! But anyway,, multiple ways this could happen.

Maybe they’ve been secretly dating since Miracle Queen and they decide to go public at the beginning of this episode and that’s the primary source of plot/conflcit!!! I’d be thrilled!!!

BUT!!! if the episode ends with then Not Breaking Up, but instead deciding to go from dating secretly to dating publicly???? Holy Freaking Heck,,, I’d go feral with emotion!!!! I also need to expand on this so much more but basic rundown of how I imagine it could happen (again: Is it likely?? Probably not! but this is my last chance to dream):

Kagami is like “listen we have the same backstory and I KNOW in my soul that this relationship wouldn’t work if it was public”

Adrien is like “okay yeah I feel you, thats fair”

Kagami goes on dates with Adrien and its fun and nice and lovely and the honeymoon phase is so good and exciting

Adrien starts disappearing a lot, partly because of akuma attacks, but partly because of nathalie and gabe calling him constantly

Adrien starts to be like “well actually i think that my dad does care about me probably? And if he knew why I wanted to go he’d let me! Or at least Nathalie would because clearly she cares about me!”

Kagami is like “hhhnngg have you met them?? You think they’d want you to be happy and free??” Except she can’t just SAY that because if she did then she’d be crushing Adrien’s entire heart and possibly also making him get really defensive and he has to come to the conclusion that his parents are good on his own

Kagami also starts to get frustrated with how much more often Adrien has to leave than she does?? And its because of akuma attacks but she doesnt know that and he cant tell her

Adrien starts to get frustrated because he can take the “having to leave for akuma attacks” part but when he finally finishes an akuma battle and Natalie immediately calls him it is just aaaaaAAAAAAAA and he just wants to believe so badly that he could at least take control of that part??? He could at least get Nathalie to help him out??? Probably maybe right???

Because we all know he HATES having to keep secrets from Ladybug, but he’ll do it for her, and he’ll keep his life as Chat a secret, but Kagami??? He should at least be able to talk about that, right?? He’s not doing anything bad/dangerous/etc

Also there could very well be some angst with Adrien being so so worried about Nathalie because she’s bedridden and his dad is being sketchy and he’s SEEN this before and he doesn’t want to be avoiding Natalie or lying to her because what if he loses her too??? He’d feel so guilty! And he needs the support of a parent figure so much,,, so he HAS to tell her the truth

But he respects Kagami’s wishes and he’s not going to betray her trust

But unlike Lukanette, they DO talk about their feelings and they disagree and stuff, and even if he’s trying not to be confrontational, Kagami is like “i can tell youre uncomfortable about something, please just tell me what it is” so he tells her that he disagrees

Kagami gets akumatized?? idk if it’s even been confirmed that she’s the akuma “Lies” but I’d assume she is because parallels to Lukanette

Maybe it happens as a direct result of some moment where Kagami and Adrien are arguing and in the heat of the moment he says something hurtful??

Maybe they’re arguing and then Adrien has to leave before it can resolve and Kagami is mad about it even though shes trying not to be and she gets akumatized???

Maybe she does say something like “bc your dad sucks and nathalie sucks!” and he yells or something (i want to see Adrien yell and be flawed let me live, and this is one of the most likely scenerios for it to happen bc it would HURT for him)

Maybe Kagami shoots back with anger, maybe Adrien’s been calm but Kagami gets mean for a moment, but regardless, Kagami says something about her true feelings of anger at nathalie/gabe/ etc and before Adrien can respond he’s like “oh shoot sorry I need to get home NOW”

Then for one brief second Kagami’s TERRIFIED that he’s going to tell nathalie about this in his anger and then nathalie’s going to be like “oh kagami is clearly bad for you because she made u this upset” and Adrien will LISTEN because hes stupid and he still listens to his horrible adult figures and Kagami is so mad about the entire situation so then in her moment of weakness she gets akumatized

Look at that its a direct opposite of Lukanette because Luka was afraid of Marinette keeping secrets about why she’s always vanishing because he doesnt know and Kagami is afraid of Adrien telling secrets about why HEs always vanishing bc she thinks she does know,,

But anyway, after she gets de-akumatized, she’s so ashamed of it and she can see how far she took it and how many people it hurt,, and Adrien is really sad and apologetic and trying to support her,, and she’s like “no clearly I was actually wrong, keeping this a secret is hurting you and its hurting me and now its hurting random civilians”

So she tells Adrien that they should tell people about it and stop dating in secret

And then multiple possible ending:

Does he say “actually no, youre right, they wouldnt let this happen, so if we cant date in public and dating in secret is hurting us then we shouldnt date at all” and thats how the breakup goes??? That would literally obliterate me

Does the episode end on a false positive where Adrien hasnt told them yet and he is like “yeah this is gonna be great” and there isnt an actual breakup yet?? Because that would also kill me (even though i doubt theyre going to let adrimi take up that much time in the show but, let me dream)

Also if Adrien is like “we shouldnt tell my parents but we should tell someone” and then they tell Marinette and now shes got ANOTHER secret to keep and aaaaaaaAAAAA?? Id die on the spot

I’m still holding out hope that the episode will give me enough crumbs to at least be able to write this better, but regardless of what happens in the episode,,, the chances of me eventually writing fanfiction exploring this are SO HIGH, I’ve been thinking about this for ages

In conclusion:

—no matter what happens in lies, its going to destroy me

—please let them be in a secret relationship it makes so much sense for their characters and for the drama and aaaaAAAAA

—also please give me the parallels to lukanette where their issues are exactly the opposite and it still falls apart

Thank you for your time, I’ll be excitedly vibrating at the speed of sound for the next two days until we get answers!! Depending on how the episode goes, I’ll either be writing so much adrimi fluff to recover,, so much adrimi angst to vent,, or I’ll be staring at the ceiling screaming for a few days as I post nothing but keysmashes and try to sort through my emotions :)

[nostalgic-pancakes]

Room 73- Chapter 4/8

Summary: D&D is planned, two characters get their very own breakdowns, Thomas reminisces, and Virgil has one good day

Pairings: (eventual) QPP’s Remus and Patton, Pre-Relationship prinxiety, sibling-y Virgil and Original Character, Creativitwins

Read on AO3

Word count: 3326

Warnings: Questionable parenting, period-typical homophobia, the foster system, semi-graphic (?) depictions of violent death, rage breakdown, nervous breakdown, minor arson.

Other notes: None!

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Logan quite frankly had no idea what Janus meant by ‘friendly hissing’. All hissing was a warning sign to potential prey, and wasn’t friendly in any incarnation! How could certain kinds of hissing be friendly? They all sound the same!

This was a level of insanity nearly topping Neil DeGrasse Tyson playing Merlin in the fucking Sharknado movies. But not really. That would top everything. Either way, Janus, someone who also hissed rather often (information citation being Patton) was likely the superior authority in tonal hissing. Logan’s a bit too sleep-deprived looking up resources for ghosts and surviving midterms to care too much.

Either way, the Dungeons and Dragons planning session was starting today. Everyone would be there at lunch this time and that meant that one, he would get to see his brother for the first time since homeroom (no common classes on Wednesdays was not ideal), and meeting with the rest of their newfound friends.

(Logan had never had anyone other than Virgil, and the rest seem to be alright. Janus knows, anyways, and he didn’t hate Logan for it, so it’s probably alright. He hopes it’s alright.)

“Lo-Lo!! Over here!” comes a friendly voice from his northeast. It’s Patton, who’s waving at him, glasses crooked, big smile. Logan fixes his glasses, and tries to smile back. It works, and even feels real.

Patton from up close certainly looks a bit tired, but he’s still happy enough, so Logan refrains from pointing it out.

When they reach the lunch table tentatively labeled as ‘theirs’, Virgil scoots over to let Logan slot between him and Roman, while Patton curls up next to Janus, relishing being with their siblings again, as much as friends are ‘neat’.

(Maybe he’s been getting back into Welcome to Night Vale. Maybe Amma cried and hugged him, calling it progress and Mom sat next to him and listened to her own show, the Magnus Archives and held him close. Maybe Virgil squeezed him tight and brought out the ‘What the Fuck is Happening in Night Vale’ board they’d made when they were twelve. He’d never tell)

Remus starts to hand out sheets of paper, asking everyone to draw their characters while he and Virgil work on plot, and it’s quiet in that little space of three pairs of siblings sketching out D&D characters, later talking about little things, big things and everything in between in the courtyard because the senior kids had exams and therefore none of them had last period. It was pleasant, and they’d all be paying their third ever group visit to Thomas later in the afternoon, too.

This was nice.

…

“Hey, Vi?” Hildi asked from behind him. They were sitting back-to-back, on her bed listening to a new album from All Time Low. The name didn’t matter too much yet.

“Yeah, Di?”

“Wanna do low level arson?” she asked, turning to face him and reclaiming her earbud. This was probably a terrible idea, but Hildi was the one person he wasn’t scared of acting out horrific ideas with. He smiles, and it’s reflected in Hildi’s eyes, dark green like the forest she lives in.

“Sure, why not?” he gets up, and Hildi turns around again for him to take his binder off and put on a sports bra, before putting his jumper (that Patton had given him for his birthday last week) back on, and patting his jean pockets for his phone. Once he knew everything was there, Hildi turned back to him, took his hand and led him outside. - “Okay, so how did you possibly, in any fucking timeline convince me to set fire to your old ‘Secret Diaries’ in the middle of the very flammable woods as if it was, at all, anything REMOTELY RESEMBLING a good idea?!”

“The power of friendship, Virge. Don’t fret, the damages are going to be well hidden in a week.”

“Oh my god but this is how forest fires start, were we crazy?!”

“Virgil calm down, nothing is more than slightly scorched, nothing is dead, and we caught every last ember! You’d know!”

“How would I know? Isn’t that more your department?”

“Spend enough time with a witch, and this is what happens. I regret nothing.”

“I regret so many things.”

“Sadness.” - “Hey, scaredy-bro, Love you.” Hildi whispers into the night, and Virgil remembers nights like this in middle school, when he started to realise that not everyone was as scared as him all the time, and he’d become more scared because everyone was watching, and laughing, and--

And Hildi had been there, a casual acquaintance from primary school becoming his best friend becoming his kind of sister because what other word is there (?), offering him trash earbuds that made the grunge music sound that much grungier, and holding him close on the nights Logan came home, unable to speak, covered in bruises, never letting Virgil tell their parents even though Logan was their twin and Virgil was so scared-- She caught him as he fell, and he hopes that she knows that he’ll forever be grateful for it.

“Love you too, you fucking danger noodle.”

Hildi chucks a throw pillow at him. It misses by at least three feet, falling off the shared bed. They both giggle, loud enough that Hildi’s mum ‘ssh’’s them from her own room, audible even with the closed door.

Three hours later, knowing full well that Virgil’s been on tumblr this whole time, Hildi whispers again.

“Hey, let’s look for Kelpies in the creek tomorrow”

This is an awful idea. But it has fewer environmental ramifications.

“Sure, why not. After December break?”

“Fuck yeah.”

They don’t last a lot longer after that.

…

Virgil wasn’t sure what he was expecting to find when he went to check on Roman, after it was ten minutes past final bell and he still hadn’t shown in the chemistry room after going back to pick up his papers.

Having a minor breakdown was not on that list, even though murder was. Virgil’s brain needed new priorities.

“Ro-Ro, Roman, what’s happening?”

“I-I can’t Virgil, I can't do it, please, I’m sorry” Virgil’s hands clenched tighter onto Roman’s shirt collar, knuckles white from the worry.

“You can't do what, Roman?” he asks, as gently as he can

“I-I’m so scared, Virgil. Mom’s not doing well, Dad’s doing the opposite of helping, and Remus and I don’t know what to do, Virgil. They keep f-fighting. The last time we tried to tell, it was by accident, and Mom had gotten so mad, and she’d said “If you keep talking about how Mom and Dad fight, then there won’t be a mom and dad’ and I can’t-- I can’t live without her, I can’t, Virgil!” Roman blubbers into his shirt, staining his hoodie and and pressing against his (currently unbound, but no big deal) chest, but Virgil literally could not give a shit about his hoodie right then, pulling him closer and cradling Roman’s head in the crook of his neck, one hand in his (fluffy, holy shit is this cotton?) hair, the other cradling his back. Roman smells like wood and some kind of flower.

“Have you told her any of this, Ro?” Virgil asks, and Romab lets out a bigger sob, burying himself into Virgil’s torso. Virgil knew that Roman’s parents weren’t on the best of terms right now, even though they kept trying to be good parents, but this? This was new.

“I c-can’t because-hic- She’ll get more upset, and she’s alsways so close to snapping and i can’t tell dad because he’ll get angry and I can’t tell Remus because he knows but he doesn’t, he doesn’t---fuck”

“Doesn’t?” prompts Virgil, softly into Roman’s hair, muffled by the soft chestnut curls.

“know, not same as I do, he doesn’t get sad, he gets mad, and he doesn’t want to become like dad but he stops talking and locks himself in rooms to not yell at people and I don- I don’t wanna make it worse.” he says softly, and Virgil starts stroking his hair, as a way to try and calm Roman down, trying not to cry a bit himself. He wishes, in a horrible way, that this was a panic attack. He doesn’t know what to do here.

“Could you find a way to maybe more quietly tell her to stay, perhaps?” asks Virgil again, even quieter this time. Roman more feels the words than he hears them, a soothing sort of humming.

“But it’s so selfish, isn’t it? That I think that? She deserves to be happy, and if being without us is happy, then she should, right? But I can’t do this with just my dad- he’s trying, but I can’t, help, please.”

And Virgil doesn’t know what to do, or what to say anymore. So he just holds Roman tighter in that very small corner in the 9-D classroom, and Roman clutches back until he’s cried it out entirely, and is ready to face everyone else. It’s been a few minutes, but they can clean up real quick.

Virgil takes out his spare hoodie and changes into it, Roman with his back turned in the boy’s bathroom, while Roman fixes his hair and washes the drying tear tracks off of his face, which were starting to feel like a mask on his face. He tries for a smile, and it’s small, but at least it’s real.

Virgil passes him a granola bar, and Roman hesitates for a second, before smiling again, taking it in hand and pocketing it. Roman offers his hand for Virgil to take, and he does, feeling the softness of Roman’s hands in comparison to his own, long and calloused with fidget rings on both hands. He squeezes.

Virgil looks up at Roman again, and they share a small smile, before walking out of the bathroom, hand in hand.

Wait- why are his hands glowing?

“Fuck you, Hildi.” he muttered under his breath.

“Huh, what?” Roman looked back at him, questioningly.

“Uh, nothing. Just thinking. ‘Cmon.” he smiles again, and he means it. With Roman, it feels like all his fears can be kept aside for another day.

…

“Oh my god, Remus, no you cannot make yourself a dwarven stripper this is a PG-13 D&D game oh my god--”

Remus looks up from the (probably very gory) conversation he’s having with Patton to reply to Virgil. “And why not? Minnie could be a stripper in the way back!”

“Just… no, thanks.”

“UUUUUGH, you’re no FUN, Virgey.”

“C’mon Bro, you could be… I dunno, a taxidermist?” Remus gets the manic glint back in his eye, snatching his sheet back from Virgil to add in the new information, scribbling frantically. His handwriting is already nigh impossible to read on a good day, so he’d better be able to read his own character sheet.

“Hey Thomas, what do you want to be?” asks Janus, undoing his loops to start a new string game, having finished his character profile- a Tiefling Wizard, about ten minutes ago while Logan became his work partner and roommate (Oh my god they were roommates), a human wizard. Virgil was the DM, therefore without a character other than an ominous voice with anxiety and a god complex at the same time, and Patton and Roman were both Elves, though Patton was an Artificer and Roman was a Bard.

Logan quickly jotted down Thomas’s responding morse code, chuckled, and read it aloud. “He says, and I quote: Can I be the thing that goes bump in the night? But also offer tea and biscuits to wayward travellers.”

Virgil smiles in Thomas’s vague direction, trying to make eye contact with the static. He fails, but Thomas thinks it’s quite nice of him to try.

“You’re too nice, T. I’ll write it down for you.”

You’re too nice

He was too nice to not let them get away with it, to stop them from killing him, to stop them from--

”Oi! You fruitcake, too nice to go running to your boyfriend, huh? Get a taste of this and see whether you’re nice enough to take it.”

He was. He didn’t object to the stuff in the bottle going down his throat, burning up his organs and destroying his body from the inside.

He didn’t have enough vocal chords left to scream, even as the other boy, final year, shook him as if trying to see whether he’s wake up, even as a hole formed in his throat, bleeding and burning and burning and burning--

It’s the last thing Thomas remembers.

“Thomas? Thomas? You’re making static-y noises again. You okay?” it’s Virgil, and it’s been nearly a hundred years and they’re dead and he’s dead and there’s nothing left of anyone he remembers but memories and he pushes aside his last memory, the worst one, to try and think of Valerie, his amazing sister who got to go to his school, sit in the same chemistry room once it was converted into a public school. Terrence, his family friend who came to his gravestone specially when segregation ended, and he could finally come and visit.

Everett, his boyfriend, who kept visiting, every day at four P.M on the dot until he was twenty and left town for college. It feels better to remember them as they were, in loose clothes playing in the woods, hide and seek and dolls and Valerie-the-Nurse and Everett-The-Soldier and Thomas-The-Film-Star and finding ways to get Terrence away to play with them too, as Terrence-The-Mechanic who could fix anything, even emotional problems as their Mom’s tittered and their fathers scowled but they didn’t matter because they were having fun.

He snaps out of it proper when Virgil manages to locate his hand, semi-visible ...

Patton’s pulling at his hair, not enough to fall out but enough to hurt, Sarcastrophe by Slipknot raging through his headphones and he knows that this is bad for his hearing, but at this point if it can drown out the absolute rage pounding in his mind, then going deaf is worth it.

He doesn’t even know why he’s mad. It’s just there and he’s screaming into his sleeves, tears caking on his face for moments before the anger arrives again and there’s a new layer of saltwater on top of it, endlessly endlessly going and he can’t stop it and why can’t it just stop--

There’s someone calling. It’s Remus. And Patton has to be happy and he thinks he might just implode with the… everything building up in him, but he has to do this so he picks up the phone.

“Hi Patty-Cakes!” The nickname makes him want to puke, even though he doesn like it, but he swallows the imaginary bile in his throat and replies.

“H-Hey, Remus.”

“Patton? You alright?” No, not at all he wants to scream and kick and cry but also freeze and never move again and his head hurts and there’s a pit in his stomach that won’t go away!

“YEAH! Uh, yeah. I’m good.” he sniffles, and he hopes Remus didn’t pick up on it. Judging by the silence on the other end, he probably did.

“Pat, please, tell me what’s wrong. I won’t say anything. Just let it out. It usually works for Roman and I, but just- see for yourself, okay?” Remus sounds a little concerned, a little desperate, and Patton thinks Remus can hear him trying to stifle his crying. He tries a little harder and all that comes out is one long moan with hitches for cries and the tears are drying, and Remus starts again, concerned, but Patton can’t hear, because the tears are catching up again and he’s screaming again and his fingernails have cut little red crescent moons into his cheek and it drips a little and Remus is still talking, soothingly and Patton latches onto that voice like it’s the only thing that could possibly carry him through this because it damn well feels like it.

He hears footsteps but not really, too focused on trying to regain control of his breathing, following Remus’s count.

When it's been a few minutes of following the count, and Patton’s breathing has evened out, he wipes off his face in his old faithful broom skirt, always ready for days like these, and he buries himself a little further into his hoodie, covering with it the phone on his ear.

“Patty--”

“No, not that, please.”

“Patton, Do you want to talk about it?”

Yes, actually, but he doesn’t really see the point, since nothing lasts for him. He’s a fucked up foster kid ™ style. Good things don’t happen to him. (Maybe to Janus. Janus deserves good things, good people, better than him--)

“Why wouldn’t this last? And you’re a foster kid?” fuck, he said that aloud? Well, rest in fucking pieces, brain to mouth filter.

“Yeah, f-foster kid here.”

“Janus too?”

“Yeah.” he whispers, throat too tired for anything else. He’s not ready for the universal ‘how’ question, but he’s not been prepared for any of this so far, so maybe he should just not bother.

“Okay. Do your foster parents show any signs of wanting to let you go?” no, not really. In fact, he’d seen Remy and Emile trying to quickly hide a sheaf of papers any time Patton or Janus entered a room, and Patton’s been pushing down the hope as much as possible, even as he sees Janus start to believe it eventually. Patton has to be ready for something to go wrong, he can’t afford to let down his guard, lest he can’t protect Janus anymore. He has to make sure nothing can faze him.

But he wants. He wants so, so badly that sometimes he lies in bed for hours, pushing down the want and trying his best not to cry, until it’s morning and he’s waking Janus up even though he could barely push himself out of bed. He says this to Remus, because he still wants. He wants to stay near Remus forever, recite oddly dark facts and binge-watch the Sharknado movies again while Logan and Janus screech in betrayal and huddle up close and he wants to have this. He wants this so badly.

“Pat, I didn’t know how to say it, but I want to be with you forever too. You like my weird facts, and you stay by me when I’m mad and I want to be there when you’re sad, Patton. I want this too.”

“R-really?”

“Of course, Patton. I don’t lie. Especially not to you.” Patton laughs, somewhat wetly, and Remus’s tone brightens when he hears it, and Patton can feel the smile on the other side of the line, manic-looking but inherently full of kindness, and everything feels a little more okay.

The hurt isn’t gone, but at least he isn’t forcing it down into his large intestine anymore.

“Thanks, Re. I-I’ll talk to Emile and Remy when they come home, okay? I’ll tell you what happened. See you in school tomorrow?”

“Course, Patton. Now I’m gonna go get something for Roman to eat before his stomach acids digest his entire body, eyes and all.”

Patton laughs. “Okay! Just don’t miss your therapy appointment, okay?”

“Never do. Bye.”

“Bye.”

The call finally cuts off, and the timer reads 37:19:73, and he probably spent a good chunk of that time having a breakdown, but strangely enough, Patton doesn’t feel super bad about it. The want is there, and he’s still not super sure about what to do with it, but he knows that he wants it to be real, and even if something does go wrong, he’ll still have Remus’s number.

The door swings open as Janus enters the house, and creaks closed downstairs, and Patton flops onto his bed, eyes still a little red, putting his phone on charge to take a nap. He’ll have emotionally charged conversation, but after this nap, thanks.

[sage-nebula]

I’ve always wanted to play the fire emblem games, but I never knew which to start with or if it even matters. What would you recommend?

Hmm, well . . . I’m far from a series expert given that I’ve only played three games out of the series (with Three Houses being my third), and the fact that I don’t even know exactly how many games are in the series to begin with. But with that said, I would say that---at least when it comes to the three games I have played---I don’t think it matters very much which game you start with, so long as you’re not starting with one that’s a direct sequel to another.

I mean, to begin with, to my knowledge there are still many Fire Emblem games that were never localized outside of Japan. I’m not sure how many of those there are, just as I don’t know how many games are in the series itself, but for instance, I know that Marth’s primary game (games?) at the very least was (were?) never localized, and the same with Roy’s (which I think is different from Marth’s). This is why they only had Japanese voices in Smash Bros for so long. Setting aside the ones that weren’t localized, the ones that were localized a long time ago tend to be extremely hard to get a hold of nowadays, and very expensive if you do. The two that come to mind most readily are Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn, one of which is a direct sequel of the other (and I’m not sure the order on that one), but both of which are very expensive if you try to buy them off eBay (which is your best bet since they’re out of print now). If you don’t want to spend that cash you can pirate them, but that involves homebrewing your Wii, which is another challenge in and of itself. Until Nintendo wisens up and puts Gamecube and Wii games on the Switch Virtual Console (and then adds those games), they’re not exactly readily accessible to players who want to try them out today.

So I don’t think you’re at fault for not experiencing games that were never localized to a language you understand (unless you’re fluent in Japanese, in which case by all means go play the older ones, and also I’m envious), nor are you at fault for not paying hundreds of dollars for a single game, or trying to homebrew a Wii so you can play a pirated version. Furthermore, at least when it comes to the three Fire Emblem games I’ve played (Awakening, Fates, and Three Houses), you don’t have to have played the older ones, because outside of references to older ones made here or there (which is mostly relegated to Awakening for reasons I’ll get to in a second anyway), the older ones aren’t relevant---and even then, you don’t have to understand the references in order to understand what’s going on, and any you do need to know (e.g. Tiki’s relationship with Marth in Awakening) are explained.

With that said, if you were looking to get into Fire Emblem fresh right here and now . . . well, as I said, I’ve only played Awakening, Fates, and Three Houses. I can only talk about these three games, and I’m sure much more passionate and experienced Fire Emblem fans could point you in the direction of others (though I’d ask them to please do so on their own posts because I don’t want Fire Emblem discourse in my notes). But in my opinion, I would have you start off with the game I started with, which is Awakening. 

Fire Emblem: Awakening was created both as a swan song for the series, as well as a way to try to save it. Basically, from what I’ve heard, Nintendo was ready to cancel Fire Emblem outright and never make another game for it because it wasn’t making them the kind of money they wanted. (That it wasn’t really localized / marketed well in the west is something i’m sure didn’t help, but that’s another issue altogether.) Intelligent Systems, the developers who make it, were given one last shot to make a game that would create the kind of profit needed to save the series, and so they created Awakening, a game in which the story largely surrounds primary characters trying to prevent a dark, hellish future riddled with death and despair (which I imagine is how the IntSys devs felt about their series being canceled, haha).

Long story short, their plan worked.

Long story long, the reason why their plan worked is because Awakening is accessible to newcomers in the series, while still having modes of gameplay similar to older Fire Emblem games (a.k.a. more punishing) for veterans of the series. (Actual veterans have plenty of discourse to say about this, but again, I don’t want discourse on this post, so please don’t.) Namely, Awakening introduced Casual Mode, in which if you lose units in battle, they only temporarily retreat from the battlefield instead of being killed off forever as in older Fire Emblem games. It also has a difficulty setting, so you can play on easier difficulty levels if you’re new to the series. Further, while I’m pretty sure that even older Fire Emblem games had support systems between characters that unlocked conversations and such, since a large part of Awakening focuses around family, the supports in this game involve actually getting to marry characters to each other, and so for those of us who like to participate in fandom, the aspect of getting to make our ships* canon was appealing as well.

(*Sadly, this only applied to het ships. Awakening does not have any same-sex options whatsoever. IntSys is . . . only very slowly getting better about this.)

Anyway, on top of all that, Awakening has a really fantastic plot, wonderful characters, and very fun gameplay. The animated cutscenes are beautiful, the voice acting is top-notch, and the music is gorgeous as well. It’s definitely not overwhelming for a newcomer (in fact, the entire point was that it wasn’t supposed to be since IntSys wanted to save their series!), and since it’s a 3DS game, it shouldn’t be very hard to get a hold of. So if you wanted to start anew with Fire Emblem, I’d recommend starting with Awakening, since that’s what IntSys intended anyway. :)

After Awakening they released Fates, which is a garbage fire better off avoided. Fates was released in three simultaneous installments, all full priced (with maaaybe a slight discount on the other two if you bought one? I think??): Birthright, Conquest, and Revelations. In order to get the full story you have to at least have either Birthright or Conquest, and then buy Revelations on top of it. You cannot get the full story without Revelations, and you cannot get Revelations without either Birthright or Conquest. So it’s basically one game for the price of three, and much worse than Pokémon since at least with Pokémon games you can get the whole plot in one game if you want, and trade for the ‘mon you’re missing. (Or at least you used to be able to. RIP National Dex.) With Fates you can’t do that. On top of that the main character is the worst, they made the shipping aspect creepy (at one point you’re supposed to blow on your 3DS so that it can seem like you’re blowing on your spouse’s face . . .), and the plot is just mind-bendingly awful. The only redeeming quality Fates has is this song, and honestly, it pains me that such a beautiful song is attached to such a terrible game. But seriously, just do not waste your time on Fates. It is not worth it.

There were a couple releases after Fates that I didn’t play, most notably Echoes, which was a remake of an older game in the series (though I’m not sure which one). However, the next main main release in the series was the one that just came out, Three Houses, which fixed EVERYTHING Fates did wrong and, in my opinion, is quite possibly even better than Awakening (though I still love Awakening to pieces and always will, don’t get it twisted). Most notably, while there are now FOUR different story routes, they’re all contained in the same game, so you only have to purchase one game to get the full story experience. Also, while there are even more ways to interact with characters now (e.g. having tea with them, eating meals with them), there are no creepy “blow gently on your system” moments, or “stroke the stylus to pet their faces” moments. The romance in the game (which only happens if you want it to) only occurs at the very end as well, at that, so it’s a slow burn romance no matter what. And lastly, the protagonist this time around is truly a silent protagonist, so you don’t have to deal with having a protagonist who, in the words of one liveblogger:

Granted, the Fates protagonist, Corrin (or as I like to call them, Corn), only works for their evil dad in Conquest, but believe me when I say that they are no better in the other routes. Corn is basically the Bella Swan of Fire Emblem, in every conceivable way. They are the worst. I hated them throughout both my Birthright and Revelations playthrough. We are blessed for not having to put up with a protagonist like this one in Three Houses, trust me. (Especially since Corn was such a downgrade from Robin in Awakening . . . and then one paralogue has the sheer audacity to compare Corn to Robin, like . . . how dare they . . .)

So anyway, this is an extremely long post and I’m sorry for that, but ultimately the TL;DR is:

It doesn’t matter too much which one you start with, since most of them are not sequels of each other.

I recommend starting with Awakening if you’re a new player, and so does Intelligent Systems, the developers.

Fates is a garbage fire waste of money and you are best off skipping it.

I have no opinion on Echoes, but I’ve heard it’s good.

If you have a Switch, definitely pick up Three Houses when you get a chance, since I’ve already put about 60 hours into it and I’ve only had it for eleven days.

And once again, other Fire Emblem fans, please do not start discourse on this post, I do not want to engage in the discourse, thank you. 

[kennyisanomega]

*rubs face, laughs* Okay, people wanna plot quibble. Shoulda seen that coming.

1. I mean, yeah, it’s interesting but I think that that’s more graceful story adapting than the actual irl cause for Kenny leaving. And given the way Ibushi didn’t take Kenny’s line about wanting Ibushi to beat him at the G1 very well, if the kayfabe ever turns to “I left so you could shine” I don’t see that going over great.

As for irl, the reasons Ibushi couldn’t shine last year weren’t Kenny’s career, and I get forever annoyed when I see stuff like that from wreddit bros. The primary reasons are things like “Ibushi wouldn’t sign a contract so NJPW wouldn’t give him a real push” and “Tanahashi exists.” There are other paths to standing out in NJPW than just the heavyweight belt, but NJPW basically just used Ibushi to make other people seem cool for beating him. Kenny did his best to talk about Kota’s skills but there’s only so much that can do when the booking looks like that.

I am looking forward to Kenny being more openly ridiculous on twitter, though. The bitter ex tweets from last time are great and all, but what I need is more sighing longing, and I do look forward to the future he can build with AEW if all goes well where he can do exactly as he pleases. And hopefully that future involves schmoop, but we’ll see.

2. They never are entirely on even ground, but my points last post were about Kenny’s feelings. I don’t think Kenny has any doubt that they can fight each other as equals, currently. He was repeatedly willing to offer Ibushi the title challenge, and Kenny’s been clear in the past that he can think someone is a better wrestler than him but still beatable with determination. (*frantically turns off Undertale soundtrack*)

Kenny doesn’t currently have the biggest Character Flaws our of the two of them in regards to their relationship. He talks too much and likes PDA too much, and clearly needs to be better at private communication, but that’s not really something you fix with Kota’s booking in NJPW. Kota’s got shit to work on, and Kenny’s being pretty understanding of that, all things considered.

And yeah, Kenny’s braver, no question. In and out of kayfabe.

3.Hi, @okadasanada, I feel like maybe you want to make your own post about this? It doesn’t seem like much of this was directed at me, and offering a recap and the kind of basic plot idea Ibushi’s gesturing at right now might actually reach some people better in a post than my Inbox if that’s what you want. It seems like you want to.

That said, some things: Kenny and Kota absolutely want that last big match against each other before they retire. A lot of people talked about how the G1 match held a lot back, and Kenny at Meltz confirmed that. It wasn’t a resolution at all, it was just a tease. Same for the three-way with Cody. (Sidenote: Cody was pretty clearly doing them a favor by nerfing that match, much as I didn’t enjoy the wrestling itself.) That’s just a matter of record. And Kota’s been sounding more and more like he’ll retire in the next few years, so if they get a chance to book the Big Match they’re absolutely taking it, even if it’s not currently the logical place for the story to go. Unfortunately, not even they seem to know when they’ll get that chance, so no one knows.

Also, and this is true: NJPW isn’t very nice. The company actually has a very interesting relationship with wrestlers in regards to creative control. They get a lot of free reign on their gimmicks and how they tell their stories, but in the end, the booking does not really care what wrestlers personally wanted. It’s done in service to the company. Take that three-way for instance: Kenny didn’t really have a choice. His actual choice, the thing he wanted to do? Was fight Yano, but he couldn’t. The company won’t book Yano for a big match. And since he’d already faced Ishii, that left him in a really awkward position where Kota was the only logical challenger left, but the two of them absolutely did not want to waste their match on KoPW. Cody, I’m serious not kayfabe, really was the way to wiggle around that.

I mention that because, while for GL story purposes that kind of scenario you described makes sense, we actually have no reason to trust Gedo, Harold, et al, to make choices based on what GL needs. They will in fact happily do the opposite when it suits the larger company narratives. General speculation is Kota would only stick around for any time this year after the year he just had if he were able to get some promises for his booking future, but we don’t actually know. If NJPW swerves because it’s got a different story to tell, that’s not something Kota can really control, and that, like the Big Match stipulation above, is a thing to keep in mind.

This is why I don’t usually engage in fantasy booking. I know what I’d do, and that’s even something different from what I want, but I don’t care to try building what I’d do around whatever NJPW has in mind, because they just do things I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have had Tana win the G1. I wouldn’t have left the IC belt with Jericho for so long. The NEVER belt is a joke. I certainly wouldn’t be using Jay as just Kiwi-flavored Diet Kenny when he’s capable of being more than that. Etc.

I’d like to hope GL’s story can be told well over the framework NJPW’s got up for its own stories, but I don’t depend on that.

[timona-lisa]

since i’ve been getting a lot of questions about them (and by a lot, i mean four), i decided to compile a list of my old muppet fics that i’m really embarrassed over now. 

note: pretty much all these fics were written when i was in high school and have since been deleted but i think you can still find the breakfast club one through the wayback machine. 

so without further ado, here’s ai’s greatest cheesiest hits:

don’t you forget about me: so this one was made back in 2008 and it was essentially a parody (eh) of the breakfast club. originally the cast was going to be kermit as bender (i know, so fitting), piggy as claire, gonzo as andrew, camilla as allison, and fozzie as brian but then i noticed there weren’t too many fics starring the band so i changed it to floyd, janice, teeth, zoot, and scooter who, now that i think about it, was a probably a better choice for brian.

there’s not too much to say about this one, other than it was a basic script fic with some changes from the original movie to make it more pg and piggy who would show up now and then ‘cause she was furious over not getting the part of claire. (yeah, my handling of piggy’s character was pretty awful but that was before i grew to appreciate her and realize there was more to her than being a diva.) also sam was the principal which was the only casting i can still say i’m proud of.

long way to the top: also written in 2008, basically my since abandoned oc aurie (short for aurora, i think?), a tambourine player and obvious fangirl, auditions for the band and catches the eye of all the dudes (except floyd) and…i’m kinda blanking on this one? i know it was pretty much your standard cheesy wish fulfillment fic and i think she got kidnapped near the end and the crew had to go out and save her from some evil record producer guy. yeah. i don’t have too much else to say about it. 

all sewn up: also 2008, so this one actually kinda brings back good memories, it was a journal fic written from zoot’s perspective with some random observations and behind the scenes antics and it was set during the first season of the muppet show. i remember literally watching the joel grey episode on youtube while working on the fic and trying to capture what zoot’s voice was like back then. there were a couple entries about his relationship with janice and he probably sounded more like a dorky teenager than a burned out sax player but aside from that, it was pretty in-character but short-lived, about five or six entries.

coming of the roads: the first of the giant “epic” fics, set during modern times (modern being 2009), and centers on the band going on a tour around the states and they end up in a town that’s half stepford, half the slums. while there, they find an abandoned baby and take her in and name her melody (yes, i was that unoriginal). eventually, they go to the town hall and try to explain the situation but they get dismissed because it’s run by assholes and it’s in the stepford part of town so they call the rest of the muppet gang to help them and fix up the place through shows and montages and all that good stuff. 

on the surface, the story seemed to have a lot going for it but unfortunately, it was weighed down by a lot of soap opera drama and corny moments. like, there was one subplot where janice was struggling between her feelings for floyd and teeth (bear in mind, this was long before the series was a thing) and there was a super ooc scene where janice and teeth shared a kiss after a show and floyd got all pissed and stormed off stage. (spoilers: it was just a heat of the moment thing and it got resolved within a couple chapters.)

there was another subplot where lips was struggling to figure out his own feelings for zoot and every time he tried to ask what their relationship status was, zoot would be like “i dunno, man” until near the end where they got attacked by stepford people for trying to change things and they spent the night bandaging each other up and zoot was all: “yeah, um, i like you.” if i remember right, i was going to have lips kiss zoot on the cheek but i got told off by an admin that it wasn’t “appropriate” so it ended with a “just bros being bros” hug. :/ 

the last subplot was about teeth and his father-daughter relationship with melody and there were some flashbacks to his childhood and how he spent time between various foster homes and the streets and was able to rise up and become a rock legend. then there was a subplot within that subplot that focused on his relationship with another old oc joelle, who was pretty much a fusion of tiana and esmeralda, and made her living as a street performer. basically, they were childhood sweethearts but lost track of each other for some reason or another and they reunited near the end of the second act. looking back, jo wasn’t as poorly written as aurie but then again, she didn’t have a whole lot to do besides fill the long-lost girlfriend role, hang out with janice, and occasionally make snarky comments. also i love how lips kissing zoot on the cheek was considered “inappropriate” but a heavily implied sex scene with her and teeth didn’t raise any eyebrows.

honestly, besides the elements i already addressed, i think the part where i really missed the mark was the ending. literally everything was resolved by way of plot conveniences. the town got a new mayor. jo became the new tambourine player. melody was adopted by the band but also by jenny and ronnie from mtm. yeah, remember them? they were part of the fic too. i’m not sure why but i guess the story needed human characters? i have no idea what i was on back then.

hit the lights: oh boy, this one’s a doozy. so it takes place almost immediately after coming of the roads (early 2010) and the band are being stalked by this tmz-esque journalist because...yeah, because. let’s go with that. after cornering zoot, asking a bunch of super personal questions, and failing to get any answers, tmz dude starts to trash him in reviews and such and makes a big deal over his shyness. in short, tmz dude is pretty much the worst and he winds up getting murdered in the second chapter. since zoot was the target of his criticism and was close to the scene of the crime, he ends up being the primary suspect. much of the fic is focused on the gang trying to clear his name as well as flashbacks to his childhood, his relationship/s with the band, etc.

so yeah, there’s a few elements that were recycled from the previous fic, such as the flashbacks, zoot’s relationship with his family, another long-lost girlfriend (only she was the victim of an unsolved murder as well) and a reunion between him and their daughter near the end. again, the biggest problem with the fic was it was played really straight and soap opera-ish and there was little room for muppety antics. there were like, paragraphs upon paragraphs of zoot lamenting about the past and it got to be draining after a while. i love exploring lesser-known characters and it wasn’t the first time i tackled zoot but unlike the journal fic, which was pretty lighthearted and didn’t take itself too seriously, this was like an avalanche of angst. also clover (his daughter) was probably the least embarrassing of my ocs but she didn’t have much of presence in the fic until the end. 

i’m trying to think of something else to say other than, “it tried way too hard to be sad and ended up being corny and exhausting.” i did try to incorporate more of zoot and lips’ relationship but again, because of the forum’s weak ass policy, they could only hug or hold hands and the fluff took a backseat to the drama. i was going through some personal stuff at the time and i think a lot of that was evident in my writing and i even based tmz dude after somebody who was bullying me and when i reflect on it nowadays, it’s pretty painful. i think i went through a three year gap when i kinda forgot about the fic and then one day, just reread the whole thing in one sitting and was like, “yeeeah, this needs to go...”

so there you have it, ai’s mupfics of yore.