#i just like human looking fuckers with too many eyes.
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The Plant Nanny
Pairing: Javier Peña x Spouse GN!Reader (Modern AU so Javi can have a water tracking app on his phone)
Summary: Javier Peña reminisces about life after quitting the DEA during his struggles with his New Year's Resolution.
A/N: This was written for @beefrobeefcal's New Year, Same Peña January prompt. I wrote this on my laptop and still haven't figured out how to get the little accent on n, best believe I copy-pasted his name everywhere in this fic.
dividers by: @saradika-graphics
Steve is dead. The fucking pendejo died. That little shit. Fuck this.
Javi bit the inside of his lip, there was a strain in his jaw. It shouldn’t affect him like this, he knew that. It was just a plant— and not a real one. Steve the Dandelion was just a virtual creepy little fucker staring up at him with googly eyes constantly whining about being thirsty and emotionally blackmailing him to drink water or he’d die. And now he was dead.
Javier glared down, his eyebrows furrowed, at the little plant with its eyes crossed— still dead. It just wasn’t fair; he had drank water last night, had logged it in to water the little shit too. He braved the cold, and the sleep, leaving the comforting embrace of his partner to go pee a billion fucking times in the night all for Steve, the motherfucking Dandelion, to die on him by morning.
His sweetheart maintained a sizeable collection of real plants, naming them after their loved ones, believing they could absorb the negativity, misfortune or evil eye for their human namesakes. He looked at Javs, Javi, Javier, Peña and JaviLicious all thriving by the window sill. Their Steve was doing fine too. He disappointedly looked down at virtual Steve. Maybe he should call the real Steve, check in on him and his family, wish them a Happy New Year like the sap he was.
It really wasn’t a big deal. He could just pick another plant in the app, maybe a cactus or a devil’s ivy this time— try again. But something wasn’t settling inside him, there was an odd heaviness in his chest and he must have slept weird last night because there was an ache in his shoulder that was stretching to his neck. And his mouth felt dry even after all the water he had guzzled last night. Most importantly, he felt sad. He hated to disappoint. He had already disappointed so many people in the past— his parents, Lorraine, the women he slept with, his coworkers, and probably a few more people he didn’t even know. He didn’t want to disappoint the love of his life too.
He had made a commitment to them. A New Year’s Resolution. Javier Peña had never made one of those in his life before. But the second-most embarrassing thing was tying up your spouse in festive red ribbons and rope, like your personal Christmas present, only to then promptly pass out on them, and take the Christmas tree— that they had spent all afternoon decorating together— down with him. The most embarrassing thing, however, had been waking up in the emergency room, with a panicked partner and a worried father by his bed, realising the candy cane flavoured condom was still on his dick and the mintiness of it was stinging him. It had also given him a UTI.
The doctors had said it was because of dehydration; according to them, he was so dehydrated his body had stopped being able to read the signs and had become less sensitive to water intake. He called bullshit. He had lived years off of booze and cigarettes and he had done just fine. He was doing just fine. He even had excellent skin, as his sweetheart often points out, and dehydrated motherfuckers don’t have that.
But the incident had scared them— probably because he didn’t wake up immediately. One night they had tearfully told him they wanted to spend a very long, healthy, happy life with him— Javi had giddily reminded them that they were married and that’s what marriage meant. But he had also promised to drink more water as a New Year’s Resolution. He had tried, truly, he had— even when he had to stop, in the middle of thrusting, during sex to go pee. He was mortified, but he kept his word to drink more water.
“It’s dead, isn’t it.” Javi was startled by the interruption. His sweetheart was leaning against their bedroom entrance looking delightfully mussed in his worn, old green training t-shirt, sleep marks on the side of their face. He knew their skin would be warm and toasty from sleep; Javi wished they would hold him.
“Yeah… the plant is dead.” And they did hold him, coming up behind him to drape themselves over his back, arms wrapped around him with gentle strokes and soothing pets that told him they knew he was upset about way more than just the plant.
“Hmm… You know they have those drops of life thing in the app that revives the plant?” They gently reminded him. But life didn’t give second chances— there were no drops of life for people who were harmed by his choices. Javi bent his head to ease the ache in his neck, and to also make space for their chin to rest on his shoulder. Instead, his sweetheart started massaging the area that twinged with pain. Always so perceptive.
“That’s cheating, I’m not a quitter. Gonna do this thing right.” He tells them instead of admitting his thoughts. And Javier Peña wasn’t a quitter. He took quitting as a personal failure and it killed him to do so. It had taken him so long to quit the drug war and Mexico. Sometimes, he still burned with injustice that none of it had made any difference, that his actions had been futile, all those lives lost for nothing. It was the sort of rage and anger he hid behind a mask of apathy, insisting that he was done— that he was through.
But he hadn’t believed himself, and his father hadn’t believed him either. For months, he hadn’t been able to stay at the ranch, unable to stand the sight of those boats transporting drugs across his own backyard. And then he had only felt worse because he was letting his father down with more flighty attitude.
He would escape to a bigger city under the guise of consulting gigs, interviews, and even for drug education and prevention programs when he was truly desperate— telling kids ‘Don’t do drugs!’ like they would actually listen. Often the words had echoed in his mind, ‘what else is a guy like you gonna do?’ Javier didn’t have an answer, he had never felt so purposeless.
It was during one of these escapes, he met his cariño at a cafe. They sat at the table next to his, annotating the morning newspaper like they would annotate a book— a big bold ‘DICKHEAD’ over the president’s head with his eyes and mouth crossed out, a heart over some celebrities’ face, another ‘WTF?!?!?! BULLSHIT’ on the margins of some political op-ed. He failed to hold in a chuckle when they had disdainfully clicked their tongue which had caused them to look up at him. Just as he had been poised to apologise, they had abruptly turned to fish out an extra pen, waving it at him in offer along with sliding half of the newspaper closer to him.
He turns to look at the side profile he had studied and admired for weeks rather than the newspapers— letting the tip of his nose trace their cheekbone up to their temple, smelling their scent mixed with their lotion, soap and shampoo from their shared bath last night. He watched their eyes flutter close, eyelashes gracefully fanning over dark circles that spoke of prolonged exhaustion; eyes still puffy from a lack of sleep. His heart tightened with gratitude and love, he had run his sweetheart ragged this holiday season. He pressed his lips to their skin when he felt his throat had closed around the words he wanted to say, conveying all the love and adoration he felt.
Those mornings at the cafe had been the brightest part of his day until the shared breakfasts had turned into happy hour drinks and then comforting dinners. It was always easy for him to fall into bed with someone, but it had been so difficult to leave theirs. So Javi simply never left. Which didn’t mean he hadn’t been a colossal idiot at times. The very look in their eyes had terrified him, his sweetheart was not one to hide their feelings and theirs had been apparent very early on, even with him constantly pulling away and drawing boundaries.
He was always so afraid he would never measure up to that look in their eyes, it filled him with endless anxiety. He had been so sure that they would realise he wasn’t worthy of the love that poured forth from those eyes— eventually, they would stop looking at him that way once they realised what a disappointment he was. He also didn’t believe he could love so openly and wholly. How wrong he had been.
Javier had waited, and waited, and waited some more for them to finally demand more of him, or throw him out of their life for something better— someone more stable. But the demands and confrontation never came instead they trapped him in the limbo of his own making where they only gave him as much as he gave them. Their shared meals were lighthearted and playful but the conversations always impersonal. And even during the nights when their breaths mingled, hearts sang, and souls danced together, his sweetheart would avoid his eyes and his kisses. For the first time in his life, it wasn’t him out of bed first, refreshed and active, lighting a cigarette or pouring a drink after sex— it was them, getting some water, snacks or taking a shower.
He hadn’t known what was missing until they had been too dazed from pleasure to avoid a kiss. And that kiss. It had changed him. It had been so tender and desperate, a tantalizing mix of long and slow explorations of each other with sweet and deep forays that had them both panting for air but unwilling to part. The kiss had been warm, passionate and possessive as if the floodgates they had barred closed were cracked open and an immense torrent of love, want and need had surrounded the both of them. It had shaken him and created a sense of awareness— Javier Peña had never been loved this way before.
So it had been all the more shocking when they had ripped away from that kiss as if burned. His cariño had taken all that love and locked it up again in their eyes, they never allowed it to settle between them again. They had respected the boundaries he had set, and held him to his words as well. The loss had left him bereft— he yearned for what he had tasted only once. And Javier learned just what a greedy man he could be. He had craved more, more more. Everything they were willing to give him and then some.
He listened to their quiet dulcet tone as they whispered to him about a plant they had lost in the app years ago after it had grown shoots and a smile, and how it had been the tiny thing that triggered a depressive episode. He realised it was an attempt to comfort him and his heart softened further. Javi gently caressed their chin before guiding their face to turn to him until their lips met his in a kiss— their lips always so soft and generous. He wished he could kick the old him for being so stupid for missing out on the chances to kiss the love of his life. He didn’t know why he had been so terrified and uneasy when loving them was so easy.
He kissed his partner for the sake of kissing them, with relish and wild abandon— feeling the tender arch of their palate, the smooth gummy lining of their cheek, the rough patch on the middle of their tongue. As he sank deeper into their kiss, he allowed the claws of the past to loosen their grip on his mind.
When he had finally dislodged his head from his ass all those years ago and confessed to wanting more from their relationship, it was as if his sweetheart had bloomed in front of his eyes with a smile so full of fondness and affection it had taken his breath away. Their love had spurted vines that tenaciously climbed over his walls of self-loathing and doubt, tearing through the bricks he had laid. The process had been so slow he hadn’t even realised when he had started to breathe easier as the walls crumbled around him.
Some of the rubble and ruins would still sting and prick under his feet— like today. But the wreckage of those walls had allowed for clear air that brought with it the realisation that Javier Peña was just a man. He hadn’t started the war on drugs, nor will it end with him. He had done what he had to do, and his choices, albeit questionable, were true to who he was. It wasn’t his fault he lived and laboured under a system that would have never allowed his efforts to come to any lasting fruition. He had unsuccessfully struggled for justice in a world devoid of it. And ultimately he had made the choice that was good for him.
The acceptance of his past and actions hadn’t been spoon-fed to him like his father and Steve had attempted, it was a realisation he had come to all on his own, which made it stick. He had personally closed the doors on the opportunity with the Houston DEA office with another on-record interview calling out their discriminatory practices in the name of narcotics control. Surprisingly, his vocal critique had paved the path for him to a new job with a local community-based harm reduction organisation. Connie had even helped him certify as a first responder.
The irony was not lost on him, that despite all those years of his father’s talks, he had ended up just like the old man. Javier had stopped chasing storms; he had found his fulfilment in coming home to fix the fences every time a storm hit because… someone has to. The DEA was not done with him though, they would often pull him in for consultations— the payment was always a nice cushion for their growing family.
He was miffed at losing his sweetheart’s attention to the dead virtual plant again, but he watched them revive the plant anyway. His inventory of free drops of life dwindling into nothing, giving away just how spectacularly he had failed at his New Year’s Resolution— he had already killed nine plants before Steve the Dandelion. A fact his cariño had also just realised judging by the admonishing glare. But the action still felt so… significant to him— it made his heart soar. That stupid plant wasn’t the only thing his sweetheart had revived.
He pulled them off his back and around the couch, positioning them between his spread legs so he could nuzzle into the softness of their belly. Javier grazed his fingers up their thighs to lightly tease the hem of his old t-shirt. They had given him more love, affection and devotion than Javier knew existed— more than he knew what to do with other than trade it between them like two children exchanging their spoils in a collectable card game.
He hadn’t yet figured out exactly what they saw in him, but he hoped they would see it forever. He would often catch them looking at him from the corner of his eyes, or in the reflection of a window. It would always be a look so full of love that a warm glow would ignite in his chest that spreads all the way to his fingers and toes. Even now, he could feel the warm flush rising up his exposed neck.
“You know they say new habits are built by layering them on the old ones?” They said as their fingers played with the hair at his nape.
“Mhm, how’s that?” He asked as their fingers now played connect-the-dots with the freckles on his throat. It turns out his cariño was feeling frisky again. He cupped a palm-full of ass, playfully squeezing it to draw them closer to him.
“Well, you could take a drink of water before every meal, or after you brush your teeth, or… before every time you kiss me?” They teased. But he reared his head back.
“Every time? Every time I kiss you? So, I would have to stop kissing you to go pee every time? What if we were making out? What about sex?” He sounded affronted even to his own ears. This was the worst idea. But they kept giggling away at his misery.
“Alright, cariño, what is your going rate for a kiss?” He demanded.
“Let me think about it… what about a glass of water for a kiss? Two glasses of water for a full makeout sesh… and then a whole litre of water for sex.” They laid down the law.
“No…” He was aghast, “Baby, if I drank a litre of water before sex then all you would hear is the water sloshing around in my stomach while we make love.” The words served their purpose as his sweetheart burst into peals of laughter.
“Why don’t I get a discount today because I was sad?” His voice dropped an octave as he tried to seduce and cajole them back to their bedroom— his own eyes dripping with syrupy love to mirror his partner’s. This suited him, he thought. This life. This love. It all suited him. It was good for him and it made him flourish.
A/N: The Plant Nanny is an app I used several years ago to build a habit of drinking water. It gives you a tiny plant you can name, and every time you drink water you can water your plant as well. When you drink the water you are supposed to, the plant grows. If you don't drink water, it dies and you feel bad it died. But they give you like 10 drops of life to revive a dead plant. Poor Peña has used up all those drops lol.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#javier peña#narcos#poorpeña2025#pedro pascal fanfiction#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena x reader#javier pena x you#poor peña 2025
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y'all know what time it is!! update time!!
-The mantis is coming to life and talking to me
-Guy with dinosaurs for hands
-Salmon shoes vagina kayak broken bones
-Make the ham man a trans allegory
-Vampire Derrick the garlic fucker
-Toxic rat vore yaoi Ratphobe tax man
-Car door that opens inwards
-My names not David Poleman
-Clown x drag queen couple
-guy with fur on his scalp instead of hair
-good morning america I have a dog with hair instead of fur
-Guy with nipples on the back of his calves
-Guy who has a a full stack of 64 hands
-guy who showers in a full suit of armor
-tong the tiger tongue kissing the frog loops toucan on a sailboat
-"hello sneeblers and sneeblettes"
-Psychic brain worms??
-The grinch x santa enemies to lovers
-Flips u like a pancake :] (a slutty, slutty pancake)
-Guy who eats his phone like a poptart. Complete with toaster action
-guy who sits on a park bench in the rain and just like doesn’t leave till the rain stops. he’s always loudly sobbing. if Benjamin Bench is sobbing you know a storm is approaching
-At least one girl always breaks her arm on the mountain
-A third boob between the eyes
-Fix everyone. Like fixings on a sandwich
-Talking shoes with sunglasses
-The French head removers French head remover man. with lipstick smooches all over em. Like a real sigma man. Yeeee
-he's got with ooze with the goop… the goop with the sludge…
-Being player 2 is like the bottoming of video games
-I can’t see where I am cuz my eyes are closed
-Shirt stretch sleeve penis stretch
-Cute as a button with twice as many holes
-I should get more piercings and steal my parents car tbh
-get the spiders out of your vagina and also delete everything
-gorilla glues your balls togethjer
-Pretty sure someone just exploded
-You’ve heard of podcast now get ready for hogblast
-The text won’t load in my dreams and it’s annoying
-Dreamt a Muslim girl died in my arms but I didn’t know if I was supposed to put her body in the seventh or eighth seat
-What if we just like. Fucked up time. a day now lasts a week a week now lasts a month a month now lasts a year
-Just like wearing Way too many pairs of fishnets at once
-Hallucinating fish devtVvvvV???
-I’m like if being oversaturated was a person
-Penisbinversion??? Penis inversion
-Fish with human teeth that gives your dick a little nibble
-Humans have three core emotions: Horror, Humor, and Horny. The lines between these blur often. That’s probably deep or something
-Gives birth to Elvis Presley back in the timeline further
-Elf ear into penis tf. It is not hot.
-Being chased by ostriches the bird out of a church
-do you think Angels know how fragile their wings are?
-gonna get a tramp stamp that says "base game compatiable"
-(Rich person voice) I’m giving our money for free so poor people are less poor and I don’t have to work as hard yioooee
-Pirate hat that doubles as an emergency condom
-gives birth to the next us president
-i want a bone-free shirt
-Being fucked in the ass with the stinger of a scorpion in this essay I will"
-They call me the twins towers the way I eat broccoli
-to do list: kill yourself cuz the minecraft house you built looks terrible
-“Look, I don’t wanna say she’s a liar… so instead I’ll heavily imply it via this statement.”
-My bingles hurt and it’s probably the fault of the liberals
-Golf ball sized door knob with a fidget spinner for a nipple
-Why am I using a fork to turn off my alarm clock
-Petition to call a group of bees a cock of bees
-bottom bun fried onions 3 deviled eggs mustard cinnamon gummy worms raw human meat a couple pages from the bible gummy worms hot sauce lettuce 1 full scoop of cookies & cream ice cream wilted lettuce sausage tomato top bun
-(To the tune of last Friday night) undead at night
-Giant balloon dog with sledshots on its back
-Salt summer seltzer suace
-Pajama man scratches you with his big hands (they have mouths) (the hands I mean ) -Sucking on a sofa dispenser the way a newborn baby sucks on its mommas teet
-Knee staplers (new type of YouTube vid) They’ve got beef with elbow staplers snd also kpop fans for some reason
-Grugson Bugnutt (apparently I’m meant to know who he is)
-the only difference between Spider-Man and Sam man (Spamton) are the letters
-Grugson Bignittv (Bugnutt) pops a grimble on his squeeby so he can smop Jenny Dingles right in the clunf
-To be clear: Jenny Dingles had an onlyfans
okay i routinely write shit down while half asleep so here's a post of some of my favorites -It’s midnight. I approach, t-posing. This slowly morphs into me doing fornite dances, and then dabbing, all as I chant YouTuber intros. You watch in horror as my Body turns to plastic and contorts until I morph into a fidget spinner. the roblox oof sound effect blasts loud enough to make ears bleed. God has returned.
-Why are chairs so terrifying what secrets do they hold -Caterpillars control the government -God is like a bee he doesnt have legs -What if you yelled at a rock and it yelled back
-I had a dream that m&ms introduced a new character called “mister white-y” who was a whiteboard with glasses, a tie, and glasses and the internet by freaked out because he “wasn’t even a candy” and people began writing MASSIVE analysis videos on his design and why he suck’s super badly Going into massive detail on why each and every aspect of his design sucked He wasn’t in the main line up of m&ms he was a side character
-gay culture is discussing if snails have emotions at 1 am
-I love candle wax I could just rub it all over my body -Dream where someone gets turned to stone and yells “guess I’m sus” while doing an amongus pose before getting turned and everyone was really really really sad wholesome that that was the last night he chose to do
-Amab. Assigned mogus at birth
-Imagine if vaginas were like cheese graters so every time a dude had sex his penis would get smaller. And period’s are just the built up penis bit falling out . That assumes all Afab people have sex tho, which they don’t
-Cocaine belt buckle
-Sex is like mowing the lawn i like to do it with a lawnmower
-Bill wurtz airplane ticket Atlanta Georgia 8;00 pm
-Cake face (body horror)
-Piss is undefinable
-Slime@ rancher dead god
-The bite of an amongus can actually cause arthritis
-Flap my ass like flappy birddddd
-“You know, I’ve jerked off to your wanted poster.”
-Man with hotdogs for eyes
-Egg the walrus husband greets you when you come back from work
-Nine legged baby. it crawls with it's face legs
-why do charmin ads always feel less like toilet paper ads more like someone’s fetish
-I’m just like a turtle I can’t rent my cock
-black hole vagina steals your penis
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Everytime I see any art of John I go fuckin feral. Foaming at the mouth. That drawing of that guy gripping his thigh tightly. Banging my fists on the ground.
#🪱; my little eldritch horror#i miss my little freak#i love when he gets drawn with a bunch of eyes and shit thays so good#like YES!!!!! EYES!!!!!!!#huh. i have two f/os (jon and john) who both have Eyes™.#i just like human looking fuckers with too many eyes.#and non human ofc. *winks at biblically accurate angels*
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A Week (He Will Take You)
~
Danny moved to Gotham for school, while there he noticed that Gotham's ambient ecto was really murky for lack of a better word.
This didn't really affect him too much besides a mild headache every once in a while but that also just might be stress from all his school work so maybe not.
Anyway
This murky ecto seemed to effect the people who lived there or more importantly the ghosts,
They were visible to the human eye like most ghosts back in Amity but instead of looking very much like a ghost they still looked like humans if a bit off putting.
They all seemed to be continuing their normal lives as if still fully alive, with the people around them none the wiser.
Danny noticed this and began approaching them to figure out what was going on.
Apparently the murky ecto in the city had made it so that they were strong enough to still continue a somewhat normal life but not be able to cross over to the GZ.
In other words they were stuck in Gotham
Danny was the Ghost King so he could easily fix this problem, all he needed to do was give them a bit of pure ecto for around a week to fully stabilize them them then he would just open a portal into the GZ and they could cross over with all their things also transferring into the GZ for their new haunt.
Unfortunately this looked rather worrying to an outsider,
Imagine you're used to your neighbor being very outgoing so you and others see them a lot suddenly this man seems to appear in their life out of nowhere an at exactly one week, your neighbor and all their belongings in their home disappear no trace to be found.
You tell people and they begin saying the same story they knew someone and them a man with black hair and blue eyes appeared in their life, then they and all their things disappear in exactly one week.
Of course the police in Gotham do the bare minimum so they're no help.
But it starts to begin a trend, especially online.
"Oh careful or the blue eyed man will make you disappear in a week"
This of course after time catches the bats attention, Gordon had already given them all the information he had.
"Young adult early twenties, dark hair, blue eyes"
That was it.
The bats look into it and from their point of view Danny is a serial killer.
But they can't find the connection between all of his victims, they range from young children and the elderly from different backgrounds absolutely no connection,
Worrying enough he doesn't just make one person disappear he has taken entire families up to over a dozen, without anyone figuring out how he's doing it or why at all.
The disturbing thing also being that he seems to take everything in their home, leaving it like it has always been empty
Like no one had been living in it.
People have tried to take photos of Danny get some kind of evidence of his existence, but when they try to do it, it either comes out completely corrupted or their devise simply shuts down fully.
Danny of course has no clue what is happening he's just happy that he's able to help so many ghosts, and is trying not to fail his exams.
~
Danny leaving the house he just helped: "That went easier than I expected!"
Neighbor peeking from the window: "Shit it's that guy! "
~
Red Hood marching down into the cave: " The fucker took many from my territory without me even realizing it!"
~
Tim: "I'm pretty sure his kill count is nearing the hundreds and he just started like maybe 4 months ago, this is bad."
Barbara: " I think I got a theory, this matches up with the new school year beginning so maybe their not a Gotham native which narrows down my suspect list."
Bruce: "Hn."
Tim: "Yes thank you B for the insightful commentary"
~
Danny trying not to fall asleep while on his way to class: "Strange I keep seeing shadows following me, oh well must be the stress!"
Bats who are pretty sure Danny is the killer: "Has he done anything suspicious yet?"
~
Just an Idea
#glowy-death-ideas#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#batman#danny fenton#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp crossover#prompt fill#story prompt#prompts#writing prompt#dp#ghost#ghosts#dp x dc
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Your Roommate Sukuna
“That Time He Got Jealous Of His Twin Brother”
Modern no curse AU, Sukuna X Reader
Synopsis: This housing crisis sure is no joke huh? Rent is just too expensive to live alone, so you put out a listing for a roommate and ended up living with none other than the tattooed bad boy Ryomen Sukuna! This is part of a series of drabbles and oneshots showing glimpses into you and Sukuna’s living situation!!
Contains: brothers au, pure fluff, slight Yuuji x Reader but we all know who you’re really here for, Sukuna is down bad, narration is mostly from Sukuna’s POV
Word Count: 1.80k
Series Masterlist - My Full Masterlist
Sukuna is a fucking geinus.
His plan is full proof. His brothers put him in charge of buying the tickets for some stupid ass movie Yuuji wants to go see, and you always write your work schedule down on the calendar taped to the fridge. Sure, yeah, maybe he had to call out sick for today because this was the only day that Choso had work and you didn’t, but now he knows that his plan will fall perfectly into place. Yuuji is already at the apartment, you’ll come downstairs eventually, and Yuuji will invite you to come to the movie in Choso’s place, making it look like a total coincidence and definitely not something he’s been meticulously planning all week.
Could he have just, I don’t know, asked you to go on a date with him? Of course not, that’s fucking ridiculous. This makes so much more sense.
I mean, you absolutely loved The Human Centipede, definitely weren’t covering your eyes in terror and disgust when he showed it to you, so it’s a no brainer that you’ll just adore Human Earthworm. Hah! What a fuckin’ joke, you’ll be dragging Sukuna out of the theatre within five minutes and begging him to take you out somewhere else without his annoying twin brother.
It’s perfect.
Him and Yuuji are lounging on opposite ends of the couch while Yuuji is going on and on about an Elden Ring boss he can’t beat. Sukuna has his boots propped up on the coffee table and his arms resting behind his head as he half listens to his brother, and more so keeps an ear out for your footsteps upstairs.
“I was gonna try and beat her without summons but she’s kicking my ass, how many tries did it take you?”
“One.”
“Ugh!” Yuuji flops backwards on the couch, grabbing a throw pillow and shoving it over his face, his defeated whines muffled through the plush cotton, “She’s so impossible!”
Footsteps, finally. As you walk into the living room Yuuji uncovers his face, and you stop dead in your tracks, pointing at him, and then his brother, back and forth a few times before rubbing your eyes.
“Holy shit, there’s two of you?”
Oh yeah, I never mentioned my family huh?
Sukuna just gives you a smug smirk, “Three, but the emo one couldn’t make it.”
Yuuji perks up, jolting upright on the couch and giving you a bright smile, “Hi! I’m the normal one!”
You pull a chair out from the kitchen table, plopping yourself down into the wooden seat, “I think I’m gonna faint.”
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
Sukuna is… a fucking idiot.
He knew his brother had a bubbly personality and could get along with literally anyone, but how was he supposed to know that you two would hit it off so well? Yuuji is pulling out all the stops, holding the door open for you, offering to pay for your popcorn, god it’s like he’s trying to get on Sukuna’s nerves.
Granted, it’s not like Sukuna told him that he likes you, but I mean for fucks sake that’s his twin brother! Shouldn’t he have some sort of sixth sense for this kind of thing?
That pink haired fucker has you wrapped around his little finger, you’re looking at him with googly eyes and cheesing like it’s fucking picture day. Ridiculous. Why don’t you ever smile like that for him? He’s funny!
I’m never letting him in the apartment again.
The three of you walk up to the top row of the nearly empty theater, Sukuna making sure to sit right between you and Yuuji. Previews are rolling on the screen as Sukuna is trying his damndest to hide the scowl on his face, his large arms crossed over his broad chest as he watches the way the large screen reflects different colors into your eyes. He didn’t really think this far ahead, he’s got you next to him at the movies but… what now? He’s mentally kicking himself enough as it is for not considering his overly charismatic brother, and now he’s realizing that he doesn’t even know what his own intentions are.
Did he just want to take you somewhere? Is he trying to sleep with you? Does he want to be… romantic with you?
God, what has he become? He’s supposed to be the tough fucking scary guy and he’s not only getting shown up by his nerdy brother, but also getting nervous at the thought of making a move on you.
Yuuji flings popcorn in your direction, making you squeal out a giggle as it gently lands in your hair. Sukuna groans, hardly paying attention as he’s deep in thought, running his finger through your hair and flicking the popcorn away. He’s so consumed in his own head that he completely misses the blush that tints your cheeks at his tender touch.
Should I have even bothered with this? I feel like staying at the house would’ve been better at this point.
A piece of popcorn flies into his eye.
“Ugh,” This is so stupid, Sukuna rubs his eyelid with his thumb, “Watch it, brat.”
Yuuji tosses his hands up defensively and you giggle again, leaning over the armrest and placing your pointer finger on Sukuna’s cheek, tilting his face to turn towards you. Have your eyes always been that bright?
“Ooh, bullseye.” He can feel your breath fanning on his face, you’re so close, but just as abruptly as you leaned in, you lean back into your seat. God, he wants more than anything to tell you to come back, but the words wouldn’t be able to escape his lips if he tried. Unfortunately, all he manages to do is glare down at you and make you shift awkwardly under his gaze, mumbling out a quick apology.
Fuck. I think I scared them.
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
From what you’ve been able to gather, this movie is weird. Is it horror or romance? You’ve been having trouble paying attention, far too distracted by Yuuji leaning over the very annoyed looking Sukuna to excitedly whisper tidbits about the movie to you. But every time you look over to Yuuji your eyes can’t help but wander to Sukuna’s profile, the flashing lights of the large screen illuminating his tattooed skin, his bottom lip tutting out to blow the loose strand of his pink hair resting on his brow out of his eyes-
Ah dammit, I’m doing it again.
You’re so confused. Sukuna has been giving you mixed signals all night, sweetly running his fingers through your hair one moment, then glowering at you like he wants you dead the next. He’s so unpredictable, and you’ve been so distracted by him all evening that you’ve hardly been able to pay any attention to poor Yuuji, giving him bright smiles and fake laughs while your mind is completely consumed with Sukuna.
He’s been so grumpy the entire evening, you’ve been feeling like he’s… disappointed? Is he mad his other brother couldn’t come? Is he mad that you took the emo one’s place? Would he rather somebody else have gone to the movie with him? It was Yuuji’s idea for you to tag along, so it’s safe to assume that if Sukuna wanted you here he would have just invited you, right?
But then every now and again his eyes flicker to you, watching. Why is he looking at you like that? With his gaze so uncharacteristically soft, scanning your face like he’s searching for something, from the corner of your eye you can catch him looking at your lips.
Is there something on my face?
You’re ripped from your thoughts as a blood curdling scream erupts from the speakers, making you jump in your seat. You catch the tiniest glimpse of a smirk creeping on the corner of Sukuna’s lips as he sits like a rock, completely unbothered as per usual. You gently kick his foot under the seat, and he presses his large boot onto the top of your sneaker, pinning your shoe under his and keeping your foot locked in place under the sole of his steel toe boot.
You cross your arms over your chest, letting out a frustrated huff at him that only makes his grin grow wider, his face still pointed towards the large screen as he flashes his canines at you. He props his elbow on the armrest between you, resting his chin on the ball of his palm as he peers down at you with a smug grin.
“You ready to get out of here yet?”
Cocky fucker, I swear he gets off on making me mad.
“No.” You snap back defensively.
Unbeknownst to you, his question was not rhetorical. But you’re in it now, determined to sit through this entire movie even if it kills you. You’re bothering him enough just by being here, the last thing you want to do is make him feel like he needs to leave.
His smirk shifts into a grimace as he taps his boot on top of your shoe. You slide your sneaker away but he loops his calf around yours and pulls your leg towards him, gently kicking your foot. If you didn’t know better you’d almost think he was… trying to play footsies with you? You’re not really sure what he’s trying to do, all you know is that he’s still leaning on the armrest between you and probably unintentionally pulling you closer by your leg.
Your arm brushes against his as you try to maneuver your elbow onto the armrest, quietly muttering to him “You’re hogging up all the space.”
He leans down slightly to whisper in your ear, “Tragic. Use the other one.”
You nudge his forearm with your elbow, “Just move your arm.”
He lets out a quiet “Tch” and raises his arm to rest over the back of your seat instead, “This better, brat?”
You nod your head as a blush creeps onto your cheeks, luckily hidden by the darkness in the room. When you relax back into your chair you can feel his arm pressing into the back of your neck and his fingers lightly graze against your shoulder. It feels… kinda comforting, you can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to lean into his touch and your heart starts to pound at the thought.
You don’t dare to look at Sukuna, deciding to quietly enjoy the moment. Which is a real shame, because if you did look at him there’s a chance you’d catch the way he’s gnawing on his bottom lip with a face that looks almost as flustered as your own.
He might be enjoying this more than you are, and he might even be thinking that having to sit through this movie might not be so bad after all.
A/N: POV you and Sukuna are two idiots who are into each other but neither of you have the balls to do something about it. Also writing Sukuna’s POV for the narration was SO FUN!!! We love our delusional king who sees you god forbid smile at another person and immediately assumes you’re in love with them Dividers by @adornedwithlight
Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!
#surprise! he doesn’t know how to express his emotions#shocking to literally no one#he’ll get there one day#nav ryomen sukuna#my writing#roommate Sukuna au#brothers au#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#ryomen sukuna#Sukuna#sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna x reader#Sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#jjk modern au#jjk brothers au
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DPxDC - Missing Persons
also on AO3
It started so quietly no one really noticed.
People were disappearing. A veteran from the mountains, a firefighter from the city, a surfer from the coast, and on and on. All gone without a trace. The local authorities investigated, of course, but they never found any leads. After some time, the people were simply written off as missing, and their communities moved on. They remained forgotten until the Justice League got involved. Their systems flagged the uptick in disappearances, and once a Bat took a look, they were immediately suspicious. It took another Bat before the link was finally found. And it took Red Hood disappearing to confirm it. The missing people all had previous close calls with death. And so the League followed protocol – they announced an investigation.
The disappearances stopped.
It was a relief at first. There were far too many people who fit the profile, and none of their analysis could discern a usable pattern from the previous disappearances. But as time stretched on, they got nervous. Surely whatever this was wouldn’t just stop once noticed? What was going to happen next, and when? Justice League Dark got involved. Only once John Constantine started poking around did they find a lead, and even then only thanks to dumb luck.
When Constantine was finally dragged to the town where one of the early disappearances occurred, he zeroed in on an old woman living in a care home. As it turned out, she was mildly magically sensitive. Apparently her grandmother was a witch or something of that sort. But crucially, she had suffered a nearly fatal heart attack almost a decade ago. And she was all too happy to talk about the ‘nice young man’ from her dream who offered to take her away.
She granted Constantine permission to dive into her memory to learn more. Whatever he learned did not make him happy. He said he’d be back after a quick trip to Hell and disappeared, much to Batman’s irritation. But true to his word, surprising some, he returned with slightly singed clothes and a book.
So here he was, chalking sigils onto the floor. Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern watched him work in silence, likely trying to wrap their minds around the fact that there was a so-called Ghost King who they were about to request an audience with. Constantine finished up his work and stood at what they all assumed was the front of the circle he had just drawn.
“I do all the talking, yeah? These ones can be tricky.”
Without waiting for a response, he waved his hand, magic glowing at his palm. The circle responded in kind, pulsing white then fading into a harsh, vibrant green. A large black, green, and red elaborately-decorated sarcophagus rose inside the circle, appearing to phase straight through the floor.
“Dramatic fuckers, eh?” Constantine muttered.
A thick fog billowed out alongside it, quickly surging out past the boundary of the circle. It spread upward, threatening to fill the entire room. Constantine cursed to himself and waved an arm, clearing out the fog around them even as it thickened throughout the rest of the room, obscuring the view of the ceiling and walls save for the door directly behind them.
A deep voice echoed through the room with no discernible source. Everyone tensed.
“Who would dare wake the sleeping tyrant?”
A pair of bright green slits appeared from the depths of the fog and widened into eyes.
“Eugh, it’s you.”
The voice lost its echo. It sounded annoyed but entirely human and...young? That didn’t stop Constantine from clenching a hand into a fist, charging magic and preparing for an attack. The eyes moved closer, revealing a pale face and snow-white hair that floated in an unfelt breeze.
“Peace, Hellblazer.”
A lanky figure stepped forward onto the sarcophagus from where they were floating. They wore all black save for their white gloves, white boots, and previously visible head. With an audible thunk they plopped down on the foot of the sarcophagus, one leg bent upward to rest their chin on and wrap their arms around.
“I mean you no harm.”
There was a pause as the others waited to see how Constantine would respond.
“We met?”
“No, but I know of you. And I must admit, I’m disappointed to see you working with the likes of them.”
They gestured to the others in the room.
“Yeah, well,” Constantine relaxed his fist but lost none of his tension, “Don’t meet your heroes.”
The stranger scoffed.
“Don’t flatter yourself. I just enjoy seeing demons annoyed.”
There was another tense pause as the stranger lazily looked over all those present. Constantine broke the silence again.
“Who might you be, then?”
The stranger slowly dragged their gaze away from Wonder Woman and back to the magician. After a pause they spoke.
“You may call me Ambassador.”
“Ambassador to ghosts?”
“If you’d like to think of it that way.”
Constantine straightened his posture.
“We would like to formally request an audience with His Majesty The King to discuss what we suspect is ghost activity in our world.”
The ambassador stared back in silence with squinted eyes before sighing and thumping their forehead to their knee.
“Where to even begin…” they whispered to themselves.
“Okay, let’s start with this.” They slapped the side of the sarcophagus and looked up. “What part of ‘sleeping tyrant’ wasn’t clear?”
“I was under the impression His Majesty was recently crowned and well-respected?”
The ambassador pinched the bridge of their nose and groaned.
“Ancients...”
They hopped to the ground without warning, causing everyone to flinch into defensive stances. If the ambassador noticed, they gave no indication.
“The king is a tyrant, he is trapped in forever sleep again, and I’d like to keep it that way this time.”
Constantine opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted before he got a chance.
“Speaking of which, how’d you even summon him?”
“Summon?” Constantine choked out, clearly surprised.
The ambassador walked toward Constantine, making everyone save for him slide backwards a step. They looked down at the chalk marks on the floor.
“Ancients, this is archaic. Where’d you find it?”
After a few seconds of silence, the ambassador looked up at Constantine.
“Well?”
“Ah...Merlin.”
The ambassador raised an eyebrow.
“What? It’s bloody true!”
The ambassador huffed out a laugh and walked back to lean against the sarcophagus and cross their arms.
“Can’t fault his demonology, but this circle is Bad. I suggest you lose it.”
Constantine opened his mouth to speak, but was once again interrupted, this time from an unfamiliar voice echoing through the room.
“Lord Phantom.”
Everyone flinched as a set of black armor coated in purple flames stepped into view from the fog.
“’Sup Frighty?”
“The dark one is marked.”
The ambassador flicked their eyes to Batman and stared for several tense seconds.
“So he is. Just like the other one, but actually concealed. Must be barely contaminated.”
The ambassador squinted and tilted their head.
“Sure enough. It’s weak, but there’s a family bond there.”
Batman clenched his fist.
“Where is Red Hood?”
The ambassador straightened their head, unflinching and unblinking.
“Safe. And being cared for.”
Before Batman could respond, yet another voice echoed from the fog.
“These are the ones?”
The ambassador turned their back to Batman and groaned.
“Is anyone not coming?”
A giant, four-armed, blue-skinned, armor-clad woman stepped out of the fog with two sets of crossed arms. She had the smallest smirk on her face.
“Apologies. I wished to see those who would obstruct our evacuation.”
Superman and Green Lantern perked up and shared a short look of confusion. The woman turned her head to Wonder Woman, her smirk replaced with a grimace.
“I am disappointed to see one of my kin among them.”
“I thought she might be, but I wasn’t sure.”
Wonder Woman stepped forward.
“My Lady, I –”
“You were not asked to speak, Child.” The woman snapped.
Her voice shook the floor underneath them. Wonder Woman flinched and stared up at her with wide eyes. The heroes tensed for a fight. But to their shock, Wonder Woman slowly raised her arm to press a fist over her heart and bowed her head in deference.
“I will make my displeasure known,” the woman growled, voice still angry but no longer violently.
“Take Dora with you.”
“Do you think me unable to fend for myself, Little One?” Her mouth curved up into a fond smirk again.
“I know better than to doubt you,” they briefly smirked back, “but given my limited experience, I don’t hold them in high regard.”
After a pause they tacked on a “no offense”.
“None taken.”
The woman stepped backwards and faded into the fog. Superman took a step forward, eyeing the armor cautiously.
“Ambassador, my apologies for our unpleasant first meeting.”
He waited until the ambassador gave him a slight nod.
“May I inquire what your companion meant by ‘evacuation’?”
“Exactly what she said. Our kind are being hunted, and we are trying to save them.”
“In that case I must apologize again. We were not aware of this unfortunate situation. Had we been provided an explanation, we would –”
“Typical,” the ambassador scoffed, “your primary patron government is committing a genocide, and yet we’re at fault for not properly informing you.”
Superman was smart enough to bite back his standard “we’re independent” retort. Green Lantern stepped forward instead.
“If I may, Ambassador, my name is Hal Jordan. I am a member of the Green Lantern Corps. We are a wholly independent organization dedicated to peacekeeping across the galaxy.”
The ambassador looked him up and down slowly before turning their head away dismissively.
“I don’t talk to cops.”
The heroes were stunned to silence. The ambassador turned to the floating armor.
“Prepare the Keep. I’ll ward against this circle once the sarcophagus is back in its place.”
“My Lord.”
The armor bowed its head then faded into the fog. Batman stepped forward.
“We have no involvement in the violence against you or your kind.”
The ambassador turned to stare at Batman for several seconds, squinted eyes glowing brightly.
“You’re an excellent liar, Batman.” The fog crept forward and wrapped around their legs. “Unfortunately, I know you’re full of shit.”
“What points you to that conclusion?” Batman kept his voice neutral and steady.
The fog had risen to the ambassador’s chest. They scoffed.
“There are photos of you with Amanda Waller.”
Batman’s fist clenched harder.
The ambassador turned to look at Constantine as the fog enveloped them, leaving two glowing green spots.
“I suggest you not push this any further, Laughing Magician. There are some things in this universe that trump even your luck.”
The glowing green eyes closed, and the fog faded away, leaving an empty summoning circle and untouched room. After several seconds of silence, Wonder Woman finally raised her head and spoke.
“I must return to Themyscira, perhaps for some time. If that was who I believe it to be...something has gone very wrong.”
Superman glanced over the others, who were all still silently processing the encounter. He turned back to Wonder Woman to give her a nod, and she quickly walked out of the room.
Constantine reached into his coat and pulled out his flask. He unscrewed the cap with a heavy sigh and downed whatever was left. He looked tired and annoyed, same as he always did. But Batman could tell he was shaken.
He looked away from Constantine and back to the empty circle again. There was a lot of concerning information to process, but one key thing did slip through. The knight had called the stranger ‘Phantom’. He had come across that name once before. One of three legible words on a burnt piece of paper in an abandoned and destroyed facility. A facility that stank of a classified government cover-up. A facility Waller had sworn up and down she knew nothing about. But he had a lead. The other two words. Amity Park. A small town that only existed if you looked at paper maps printed several years ago.
He had to act quickly.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#my writing#not sure where this idea came from#dont know where it goes from here#but i think itd be funny if batman clocks danny#cuz he hears him say 'i dont talk to cops'#bonus points if its to dick/nightwing
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dean winchester x grim reaper!reader.
for some people, death often meant one thing.
the end.
then again, others saw it as a complete contradiction.
the beginning.
but for dean winchester? it was the only time that he could see his love.
sure, dean died multiple times, in many different ways, at the hands of various people and supernatural creatures. he got used to it at some point.
death? tsk, he’d be back in a few hours. or even less.
however, he didn’t tell anyone, Sam or Cas, who he was seeing during his stay in between the mortal world and whatever else was waiting for him. every time his heart stopped, as soon as he’d open his eyes, a familiar face hovered over him with a small, kind smile.
every single time it was the same grim reaper keeping him company. not even collecting him as it was supposed to happen — you’d just stay with him and keep him company until he got brought back to life. ‘cause everyone knew the deal with the winchester brothers.
they just couldn’t stay dead for long.
so, your job was pretty much nonexistent with them. you were sent just for the sake of it, so some stuck-up higher-ups in the underworld wouldn’t get pissed off with your insubordination. not that you cared, you were doing this shit for long enough to simply grow bored. but with dean? yeah, it wasn’t so bad anymore.
you walked through a small alley, your hands in the pockets of a long, black coat you were wearing. your steps echoed within the walls, sometimes accompanied by a small splash from the puddle you stepped in. finally, you stopped and everything had gone silent.
tilting your head to the side, you smiled at the man as he slowly opened his eyes.
“hey, handsome,” you said, waving your fingers when he finally looked up at you. with a groan, he slowly stretched his back, getting up on his feet.
“yeah, good to see you, too. although, i probably shouldn’t say that,” he muttered, holding his side as he looked around. it was empty.
as it usually was in the waiting room — since that’s what you liked to call it.
it was simply you and him, and the scenery he saw last before dying.
“what was it this time?” you asked, wiping some rain droplets from his cheek. he had a slight stubble, something new compared to the last time you’d seen him. dean chuckled and shook his head, sighing loudly.
“demons, obviously. nasty fuckers,” he scoffed, looking to the side, probably in the direction where his killer had gone. but he quickly cleared his throat and averted his eyes on you. “doesn’t matter. i just know you were happily rubbing your lil’ skeleton hands, knowing you’re about to collect my soul,” he snarled, but his hands found their way around your waist, and he pulled you closer towards his body.
“we’ll see. depends on how fast they bring you back,” you shrugged, running your fingers up and down his strong arms.
“y’know i’d much rather stay with you,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours.
“and you know that it’s impossible,” you whispered back with a small sigh.
still, you weren’t sure how exactly you found yourself that attached to dean. you weren’t even human. you were simply a being meant to collect souls. there was no such thing as feelings. but then again, dean winchester was well-known for his disruptions of both — the mortal and the supernatural world.
it just… happened.
he was slipping through your fingers every, single time which was exciting for you. you were impatiently waiting for the next time you’d see him again, playing cat and mouse — whether he’d go back or not. but it wasn’t just about the thrill. it was about the fact that you really cared for a human soul. every time he went back you felt empty.
even more so than usual.
and for dean, seeing your face made the idea of dying pleasant. with you, he felt at peace — no worries or struggles. he felt… calm. and your smile? it was the first thing he fell for.
before, his imagination of a grim reaper was a skeleton dressed in a black cloak and holding a scythe. but then, he saw you. and everything he believed up to that moment was long gone. you weren’t scary or intimidating. quite the opposite, you made him want to stay with you forever.
but he knew it was impossible. you were simply a passerby. if he was alive, he couldn’t see you. if he was dead, he could be with you just for some time before he’d be sent to whatever shithole they wanted to put him in. it couldn’t have worked. but still, it didn’t stop him from thinking about you and simply hoping to die as many times as he possibly could.
just to get a glimpse of his nonexistent love.
a/n: is it clear now that i like to make myself suffer lmao i’m on some angsty shit lately 💀
༄♡ tags: @internetitgirl17 @beausling @deanswidow @deansbite @aileenunfiltered @fitxgrld @figthoughts @angelicp0etry @hrtsoldierboy @titsout4nicholas
#jensen ackles#dean winchester#supernatural#jensen ackles x y/n#jensen ackles x reader#jensen ackles x you#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#dean winchester x grim reaper!reader#dean winchester one shot#supernatural one shot
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☆*:.。..。.:*☆ ☆*:.。..。.:*☆ ☆*:.。..。.:
Yandere adventurer x princess reader
☆*:.。..。.:*☆ ☆*:.。..。.:*☆ ☆*:.。..。.:
Cw: fem reader! Princess reader! jealousy, possessive/obsessive, yandere townsfolk, Zexius fighting for his life, murderous tendencies, slight gore,
Synopsis: 【on this fateful day you were threatened to be the sacrificial bride of a mythical beast. In order to save your minor kingdom from destruction. However, in a turn of events you got saved by an unruly adventurer dressed in none other than his boxers. it was love at first sight. Although many of your subjects opposed it.】
☆*:.。..。.:*☆ ☆*:.。..。.:*☆ ☆*:.。..。.:
Zexius was a blight to his family adventurers guild. He was blessed with unfathomable potential. Alongside His family of 6 with him taking center stage as the shitty eldest brother. However, not many would get to see his potential being put to action. Since he’s a lazy fucker who wants to be a NEET for the rest of his life.
His family was loaded so why the hell did he even need to go outside and save the world from miscreants? That’s what hero’s like Adonis the Sunset Knight are for.
Not to mention he had a sucky personality, bad hygiene, his only good redeeming features would be his face he inherited from his parents. But even he’d got that covered up by his hair.
His life motto was to live unseen so hardships never bother him unprovoked. So he lived as a nameless NPC often making his parents namely his mother, Mooni, wring his neck in frustration. Dangling his ass out the window of their castle from the highest level.
“You’ve been holed up in that room of yours for months young man! Go outside and— what’s that slang you youngins use again? Ah right… Stop gooning!”
“Ma! Seriously! Who even told you about that slang? You’re too old to be acting so cringeeeeeeeeee!??”
Zexius all but screeched be catapulted by the scruff into the far off distance like a shooting star. Yelling curses like a lich obsessed with getting revenge on those beyond its grave.
While dusting off her hands with a huff of satisfaction, her laid back husband, Jakeo, stumbled upon the scene. Ultimately he just shrugged before minding his business. Already used to the extreme mother-son spats, definitely not because he forgot to take out the trash. And was trying to save his ass from being thrown out like a rocket just like his eldest son.
“Jakeooooo, don’t act like, I don’t got eyes in the back of my head. What happened to trash day?”
“…Listen hear me out—“
—-/——————
At this point Zexius was having airtime for so long he was bored. He estimated that he passed up 3 great territories already. Yawning while still zooming within the air until he widened his bloodshot eyes in surprise. His limbs failing seeing that he was headed straight towards a malicious mythical beast. Who was currently attempting at stealing the a kingdoms princess as ransom.
“I dare any of you insignificant humans to step to me, the princess now belongs to the great Orisha! You should kiss the ground in thanks that I didn’t devour you all—“
Suddenly the mythical beast paused, his many eyes trained on the bloody individual who stood off to the side with a tired expression on his face. Carrying a pulsating piece of flesh that drawfed half his body. Their heart, Not to mention that guy looked like a cave dweller and was only wearing his lame boxers and a tattered tank top.
“Shit sorry man, your fatass heart was in the way so I had to uh remove it to get out. But hey I’ll give it back to ya so no hard feelings?”
Zexius offered animatedly, he could already feel a dreadful headache coming from the aftermath of what’ll happen to his quiet carefree life of self indulgence. Seeing he had pierced through the beasts chest like an arrow, leaving a gaping hole.
“Damn youuuuu, how could I the great Orisha be defeated by a mere bum?! This amount of shame you brought on me has no remedy!”
The adventurer pinched his nose in exasperation, the NEET truly hoped that the beast had another heart. He could just dip like nothing happened. The townsfolk be damned since it wasn’t his problem. But sadly it wasn’t the case he actually killed it in one shot. Not just any beast a mythical one at that.
“I’ll curse you and your next of kin!… well that’s what I’d normally do to a worthy and presentable opponent.”
“Oi Oi Oi what the hell’s that supposed to mean? Excuse the fuck outta me for not bein dressed to impress. But I didn’t expect to be out here anyways. “
Ignoring Zexius’s attempts at explaining himself, Orisha merely rolled his many eyes. Seeing his magnificent body fading away like speckled star dust into the wind.
“Haa I actually pity you, with my minds eye it’s enough to tell that you’ll remain a forever alone. So it’d be a waste to curse you farewell fool.”
The adventurer veins popped on his forehead immediately crushing the beasts pulsating heart.
“YOU— CURSE ME! CURSE ME ALREADY, YOU BIG BITCH! I’m not a lost cause, damn you! Just you wait, I’ll make you regret not cursing me when you had the chance!”
Zexius raged, Even going as far as to spit and stomp on the lump of flesh upon the ground. growing more irritable from its croaking fits of laughter.
The beast collapsed, fading away into nothingness drooping you into the hands of your savior. Who caught you by reflex and was already sweating being in proximity to a pretty thing like you. You were exactly his type, and he didn’t know how to handle it.
He wasn’t a gentleman and he’d gotten used to being labeled as unredeemable gnat. By the other neighboring princesses because he treated them like their royal reputation didn’t mean anything.
Being so blunt about how they weren’t his type at all. Not even doing the customary greeting since he’d just smack their hand with a nonchalant low high five. With a sneer on his face as he said that he wasn’t gonna be kissing an uggo’s hand.
Immediately he got on the blacklist no-marriage list throughout most neighboring territories. Which made his mother weep in frustration after having set up those marriage meetings for it to go to waste. While his father merely laughed alongside his younger brothers Wagam, Yeon, and Ueul at how he had no rizz.
Not to mention he was wearing his damned boxers. After years of finally finding the right princess who hit all his criteria at a glance. The last thing he’d wanna do is embarrass himself. He was praying to the gods to have that cliche where the damsel falls for the hero at first sight. just like in those isekai novels he’d read in his spare time.
His train of thought was interrupted by the king who stepped forward. Cringing at the sight of the bum who somehow saved their kingdom. But coughing into his hand to save face he must act as a benevolent ruler and thank the one responsible for their safety.
“Ahem! Thank you, for saving my precious daughter and my people we’re forever in your debt bum—I mean esteemed adventurer. Whatever it’s you want we’ll happily supply you with—“
“Yeah, yeah, no need to make a big deal outta it. I only want one thing, your daughter’s hand in marriage.”
The NEET said bluntly with a blank faced expression, still holding you in a princess carry. If the King rejected then he’d just haul ass and kidnap you on the spot. There was no way he was going to let you outta his sights. Not when you were everything he was wishing for. Plus it make his mother get off his back about not having any grandkids for her to spoil in the foreseeable future.
“Oi Oi what’s with the hostile attitude! Y’all are some ungrateful people, you said you’d give me anything! So why the hell are you readying a battle axe man!”
In hindsight he could understand why the people were already gathering their pitch forks and discarded weapons. The look on their faces was of pure spite, like someone pissed in their cheerios. Despite him saving their lives, it felt as if they’d rather die than see their precious beloved princess. who was clearly loved by the subjects be married to someone who they recognized to be on the no-marriage list.
Narrowing his eyes he widened his stance. He wasn’t afraid to catch a fade with all of the kingdoms people woman, man, child. He didn’t give a fuck, plus he could tell it was a small kingdom on the outskirts. So it’s not like anyone would tell if it happened to somehow disappear right?
Though it would be unfortunate if he killed his father in law in front of you. He could easily ask one of his brothers who’s an aspiring mage to preform a memory wipe on you. After all his family’s blessed with the best of abilities hailing from the direct line legendary adventures before them.
“Lay down your weapons! Father you said you’d give him anything he’d want, it’d be a disgrace to the royal code to not honor that!”
You piped up, with a stern expression on your face which Zexius found to be so adorable. It made him grin like a lovesick idiot seeing his future bride stand up for him. Hell it even made him tear up a bit as nobody had ever done that for him in his years of living. Which only solidified how you were the only one for him.
“Sweetie listen, that thing isn’t even fit to be your husband! It’s best to kill him where he stands and for goodness sakes he’s a bum! He must’ve did some kinda dirty trick, there’s no way he defeated Orisha so easily!”
“Silence! Don’t you dare call my fiancée a bum show some respect, all of you! Or else I’ll leave this kingdom and never come back!”
“Alright alright! Anything but that forgive us! My sweet daughter! Everyone stand down!”
The King urged frantically, everyone followed suit disgruntled as they seethed silently at the smug adventurer. But they’d be devastated if the crown jewel of their small kingdom were forever lost. However, the king was adamant in keeping you and him separated for as long as possible.
So he made up a thorough bullshit contract, a test of faith one may say. Which states that if Zexius could spend five years doing long distance with his princess. Then he’d voluntarily allow you to go stay at his residence.
Zexius didn’t like dealing with unnecessary struggles but for you he’d give it his all. By the time you’d meet again he’d be ready to expel 5 years of yearning for his bride to be.
.
.
.
Part 2? 👀
#Zexius the Adventurer#yandere adventurer#yandere stories#yandere male oc#yandere boy#yandere boyfriend#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x darling#yandere oc#yandere concept#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yanderecore#yandere male x reader#yandere male
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till dawn || eyeless jack || the finale
SMUT. MINORS DNI. 18+. this one’s a lil fluffy not gonna hold you guys. i’m so sad to see till dawn end :’) but all good things must come to an end eventually. i think down the line i will create a bonus chapter, but for now this is the end of till dawn. love you all. mwah!
bonus part is here
Knock knock knock!
A groan of annoyance left your lips, your senses resuming as you regained consciousness.
“Wake up fuckers! You owe us waffles!” Ben’s cheery voice flooded your ears, his voice echoing down the hallway outside of Jacks room. You sighed, rolling over and shoving Jack awake. A confused snore escaped his lips, his eye sockets finally opening.
“Huh?”
“Ben wants waffles,” You sighed, flopping back down onto your pillow. Unfortunately you both had lost one too many rounds of mario kart, resorting in a wager of cooking breakfast to end in Ben’s favor. Jack groaned. “Okay Ben give us five minutes!” He called. You rubbed your eyes, looking over at the window. The sun had just reached above the trees, the sunlight beams streaming across the room. A triumphant Ben continued down the hallway, whistling proudly.
“Holy fuck, what time is it?”
Jack chuckled, sitting up against the headboard.
“I told you we’d only have till dawn before someone showed up at our doorstep about breakfast.”
He was right, but converting to rising at the early hours and staying up late was exhausting. You rolled over lazily, your back turned to him. “Have none of them ever heard of sleep schedules?” You grumbled. Jack couldn’t help but chuckle, your settlement into the mansion one that occurred with ease. Your charming personality and ability to cook won everyone over, even the proxies.
“We live in Slender’s mansion babe, we’re lucky the sun even rises here,” Jack replied, pressing a soft kiss against the back of your head. Slenderman’s reaction was a completely different story, the explanation of your existence the longest tale Jack had ever had to explain. Letting humans know about creeps existence was grounds for exile. It was forbidden to make spectacles out of themselves, even if the long term plan was for you to become a creep. (Which, it was not even an option to Jack.)
Becoming one, losing that grasp on sanity or facing an unfortunate fate of torture and death could never be planned though. Unless of course you were Jeff, then you knew how to create an arch nemesis. Jack would never want that for you, which he explained to Slender. Out of all of the mansions residents and outsiders, there was not another creature like Jack. A creature that went into an animalistic heat and needed to mate. Slender knew this and that led to his approval.
Another factor that Slender considered was that Jack was the oldest and wisest. If he was to entrust anyone to bring a human into the house, it was him.
Jack curled up beside you, your back pressing against his chest. “Sleepy this morning are we?” Jack asked teasingly, peppering kisses on your neck and shoulder. You chuckled, moving yourself closer to him. “I would’ve gotten better sleep if someone hadn’t kept me up all night,” You replied. A mischievous smile spread across Jacks lips, his hand slithering down to your hips.
“If it makes you feel any better i’m sure Clockwork didn’t get much sleep either,” Jack said, his lips refusing to stray far from your skin. His hand slithered further up your skin, slipping under your nightgown. You bit your bottom lip, Jacks fingertips lightly tracing your skin. “Thats gonna make a terrible first impression,” You sighed. Clockwork didn’t frequent at the mansion, leading to you never officially meeting her. Having her room be next door and hearing you beg for more? Not exactly the best first impression.
“There have been worse my love. When Jeff first came here Slender tried to make him a proxy. He tried to burn the mansion down,” Jack said, cupping your heart. Your thin panties blocked him from complete access to your cunt. Your breath was becoming shaky, your thighs opening more for him. He inhaled deeply, the smell of your arousal hitting his nostrils. “You just can’t get enough can you?” Jack teased. You groaned softly as he rubbed more harshly against the fabric.
“Of you? Never,” You replied, satisfied to feel Jack push your panties to the side. His lips attached themselves to your neck, his boner poking you from behind. You could feel him suck at your skin harshly, purposefully littering your neck with as many marks as possible. “I’m going to keep looking like a wounded puppy if my neck stays forever purple,” You chuckled, gasping as his fingers rubbed up and down your wet slick. You bit your bottom lip, two of his digits dipping into your cunt.
“My wounded puppy,” Jack snickered. He curled his fingers inside of you, your hand finding its way to his aching cock. He gasped as you palmed at the fabric of his basketball shorts, slipping your hand underneath the waistband. “Not sure if we’re doing to have time for this love,” Jack admitted, even if he didn’t want it to be true. You moaned in response, pumping his shaft as he finger fucked you. “It can be quick,” You offered. You bit the inside of your cheek, refraining from moaning louder.
“Please,” You whimpered, sealing your fate. Jack grinned, the two of you eagerly switching positions. Jacks back hit the soft mattress, licking his lips as you straddled him. Your panties had been discarded, his shorts and boxers pooling at his ankles. Jack was never one to not be in control of sex, even with you riding him. Sometimes he’d let you pretend you were in control, if he was feeling nice enough. But each time you got a bit out of line, Jack was quick to put you in your place. However, he couldn’t deny how ethereal you looked riding him.
You lowered yourself onto his cock, both of you exhaling in relief as he bottomed out inside of you. The shape of his cock bugled from your stomach as it always did, a subtle, very hot reminder that he was much bigger than you. Jacks hands found your hips, leaning forward to kiss you as he guided you. You groaned into his mouth as you rode his cock, his tip hitting your g spot. Playfully you grabbed his shoulders, pushing him back onto the bed. Jack admired your breast bouncing as you chased your high, riding him like a wild animal.
Your body over time came to crave Jacks almost identically to the way he craved yours. (He couldn’t help but wonder if scientifically his cum had altered your hormones.) You smiled lovingly as you looked down at Jack, his facial expression one of contentment. The sun had risen higher, hitting his face at a flattering angle. It highlighted his sharp jawline and round nose. “What’s so funny?” Jack asked. You shook your head, continuing to hold your sinful noises in the best you could as you rode his cock. “You just look so handsome like this,” You complimented.
Jack blinked, “What, under you?”
You giggled, playfully slapping his shoulder. “No EJ, with the sun shining on your skin,” You replied, rolling your eyes. Jack leaned forward, wrapping his arms around your back. He completely and utterly adored you, your flattery and complimentary of him meaning the world. “You look even better, so beautiful taking my cock like this,” He huffed, snapping his hips upwards. You whined as he began to move faster, taking control. You buried your face into the crook of his neck, biting down on his skin to control your noises.
“Thats it, bite me as hard as you want love. Mark me,” Jack panted, his cock abusing your cervix. He was tempted to say hell to breakfast, flipping you over and fucking you senseless like the animal inside of him craved. But he knew you cared about his roommates opinion of you, even if to Jack he wouldn’t consider them friends five out of seven days of the week. Your teeth sank into Jacks shoulder, a subtle growl escaping his throat.
Something about seeing you so primal, but so desperate to keep quiet made him pound into you harder. You could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, a trail of saliva dripping down Jacks shoulder as your teeth clenched around his skin. You whimpered, your hands tangling themselves in his hair as you came on his cock. Your walls spasmed around his shaft, a deep grunt escaping his lips as he came inside of you.
You released his shoulder, grimacing down at the bite mark. “Holy fuck, I don’t know where that came from,” You panted. Neither of you had moved, Jacks gaze moving to your breast. “Neither do I, but it was pretty fucking hot,” He admitted, kissing your breast.
‘Waffles! Waffles! Waffles!’
The sound of Toby and Ben chanting from downstairs made you chuckle. Jack could hear them slamming their silverware down on the kitchen table, the sound making his ears twitch. You slowly slid off of you, whimpering as your walls squeezed the air. His cum slowly dripped down your cunt, the sight the most satisfying sight to Jack in the world. He laid back on the bed, propping himself up with his hands behind his head.
He admired you as you brushed your hair, throwing on clothes. You were so focused, Jacks staring going over your head. It wasn’t until you were ready, turning around to find Jack undressed and unbothered. “What are you doing? Ben’s gonna come through our radio any minute now if you don’t get dressed,” You say. Jack rose to his feet, bringing your back against his chest. He towered over you easily, resting his chin on the top of your head.
“How did I ever get so lucky?” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your head. You giggled, examining your stomach. “Do you think you’ll ever get me pregnant one of these days?” You asked curiously. Jacks eyebrows furrowed, his large hands resting on top of yours. “You do know that’s scientifically impossible right?” He asked. Yeah, maybe his cum was seeping into your hormones. Or maybe your brain.
“Yeah it’s still a nice thought though,” You shrug. Turning around you wrapped your arms around his neck, admiring him from below. Your eyes were dancing with curiosity. Tilting your head to the side a simple question left your tongue, “If I somehow did, you’d want to keep it right?”
Millions of thoughts soared through Jacks mind, ones mixed with the joy of parenthood and ones of terror. Would the fetus become a demon just like him? Or would it be as beautiful as you? What would it eat? Would raising a child in a mansion full of monsters from its worst nightmares be sustainable? But as he looked down at your puppy dog eyes, your orbs flickering back and forth as you awaited an answer.
Creeps had never procreated before, successfully anyways. It would be a first for all of them, especially Jack. He wanted to believe there was a piece of him that wasn’t an organ eating monster. One that could raise and love a child that was a mixture with the person he loved the most. He was almost sure he would’ve gotten you pregnant by now, with the amount of times he’d locked you into the mating press alone.
Truth was Jack would give you whatever you wanted, even if it was most likely scientifically impossible. “I want whatever you want my love,” He purred, pressing a tender kiss to your temple.
Bang bang bang!
“EJ learn how to keep it in your pants and pour some batter in the waffle maker instead!” Ben called.
You giggled, Jack sighing as he pulled on his pants.
“And in the mean time we have Ben.”
“We most certainly do and that’s enough for me.”
#eyeless jack x y/n#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack smut#eyeless jack x reader#jeff the killer x eyeless jack#eyeless jack x jeff the killer#eyeless jack#creepypasta x y/n#creepypasta x female reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta lemon#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta smut#creepypasta#jeff the killer x y/n#jeff the killer x you#jeff the killer x reader#jeff the killer smut#jeff the killer
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Bad End: Poisoned Cups
I hadn't adjusted well, at first. I don't think anyone could have. Being an elf sound cool, on paper. The better eye sight, the incredible hearing, the stamina. All sorts of perks right? But what they don't tell you, is that when your soul is human? When you get isekai'd by some divine oversight or fucker with a truck?
It doesn't adapt that well, to a new body. Your soul INSISTS you should still be human, with all the trappings, and throws a FIT, when you just.... aren't. So you end up with migraines. Eyes that swim in and out of focus. Wheezing, struggling, breathe. A body at war with itself.
The world was so loud. Too loud. I could hear EVERYTHING and it HURT. Couldn't breathe and THAT hurt. Was nauseated all the time, from my eyes refusing to focus properly. That too, hurt. All of it, pain. Just? Pain. Day after day, pain pain pain.
My poor parents were helpless. The doctors struggled.
But the King? HE could save me.
And he did.
He was younger then. Just barely into his rule. His Father having just stepped down. My parents, desperate, brought me before him. Waited in line for days. They didn't even know if he COULD do anything, were grimly prepared for him to say that sadly, nothing COULD be done. But? Instead? He looked me over, called for several old texts, looked again, then called upon the strength of the Throne.
My parents apparently started weeping the second I stopped.
All I remember is the pain going away. Being exhausted. A REALLY pretty elf man in a crown. Things getting... better, after that.
I was told that story often, as a child. It utterly transformed our household. From merely loyal citizens, to devote Loyalists. Speaking ill of the King in THIS house? Would now get you HURT. My parents had been convinced they were going to LOSE me. The King as far as they were concerned, saved my LIFE.
Which is why I didn't put anything together. Seeing as we were an "all King all the time" Sort of house. We had one(1) team and we were sticking to it. Permanently. His son? Eeeeh, maybe. We'd figure that out later. We didn't care to know. And I was too busy with school work to CHECK.
Which? Meant I didn't NOTICE? He looked? More and more... Otome Capture Target as time went on. Specifically, he looked kinda crown prince from "Dance of the Secret Forest! A True Love For Me?!" sort of Shaped. Which... gee, what ARE the odds? Especially given that so many OTHER things are named suspiciously similar or exactly the same to that game?
.........yeeeeeah. I decided not to take chances.
I looked that shit UP.
And wouldn't you know it? Protagonist-chan? Not there yet. But she SURE COULD BE! All the legends were EXACTLY what they should be. Forests and locations the same! PEOPLE the same! Oh HELL no. Good to know where NOT to be, I guess.
Not my circus, NOT my Otome Drama Monkeys.
I? Would be working for the KING. My family owed him a debt.
And when I graduated? I applied. Top of my class. I studied my ASS off. Could have gone anywhere. But I was aiming for the TOP. A debt to be repayed and frankly? Excellent job security on top of it! So filling busy work in dusty ass backrooms it was. Gotta start from the bottom, after all.
I exhausted them. Was honestly barely trying too at that point. They should see me TRYING to put my nose to the grindstone. Burn the midnight oil! Ha! HA, I say! Long elven lifespans slow you all down! I? Used to live in a capitalist hellscape! This is NOTHING.
I'm not even multi-tasking. It's not even LUNCH YET.
Did I get promoted? Yes. Do I worry my coworkers? Deeply! But shit needs doing and we don't have all day! There is a nation to run! Have some tea. Eat a turnover. Now~! Where are my fuckin documents~☆?
I get promoted again.
Then again.
Aaaaand again.
I'm pretty sure it's cause I scare people. Am FAST. Efficient. Willing to hunt my coworkers for SPORT, like a god damned bloodhound, if it means we get that one extra tax document that makes or breaks us. I have (and will again if necessary) climbed through people's fucking WALLS. Cause, honestly? If they wanted to stop me?
They should have warded the gods damned vents.
Fuckin casuals. Get on my level.
So, now? I am the baby. King's inner circle. And EVERYONE? Is damn near twice my age! And, granted, yes. It IS hilarious I still scare like half the people working under me... but come ON! You are elite government officials! Do BETTER! (Geez. At least my PARENTS couldn't be prouder.)
But... (and God damn it, why is there ALWAYS a "but"?) here's the thing. It? Took me a WHILE to get where I am now. Long enough, in fact, for our... Problem, to arrive. A Problem which is GOING to cast his Majesty's kingdom into chaos and turmoil, in fighting and divides. Religious upheaval. A PROBLEM, which? In the name of luuuuuv~?
Is going to get NEIGHBORING COUNTRIES involved.
And WHO do you think is going to have to deal with that? WHO will have to prevent all out WAR? Religious schisms? Ward off assassins in the night? Certainly not Mr. "But Daddy, I love her!". Oh no, HE gets to sit back and enjoy the fruits of his father's suffering! Make more trouble! (Fucker.)
But, hey! Maybe I should throw in with his SECOND son, right? The supporting character? He seems vastly more reasonable and emotionally more balanced doesn't he? Well educated, cautious, why, thoughtful even! Ha ha... yeah... he DOES seem that way, doesn't he?
SEEMS.
He Is Not. Little fucker is a SPECIAL flavor of batshit. Completely "wake to find him standing over you, in your LOCKED BEDROOM, asking if you want to see his new favorite knife" nutty puffs. Not sure which side of the family it comes from, to be honest. Disturbingly good at getting past my warding.
Or at least he WAS, until I got the King involved. Ha! Royal wards! You can't touch me! I sleep like a BABY now! The only people who can enter my rooms now? Are literally JUST me and the KING HIMSELF! How safe is that~‽
But for real... poor his Majesty, you know? It's not like he didn't TRY to be a good father. Take time he couldn't afford out of each day, to spend time with his sons. Insist on eating meals together so he could ask them about their interests, how each day had gone. Involved them where he safely could.
He's a somber man. A dignified one. But let NO ONE say, he is not a LOVING one.
And HOW do his children fucking reward him? Middle school love dramatics and MURDER ATTEMPTS IN THE NIGHT! Because, YES, I have found the disturbing murder board that the second prince has in his "secret" room. Right along his equally disturbing stalker board of ME.
I, obviously, told the King.
He did not look pleased.
Don't know if my new reality has, like, intensive therapy programs or something? But I hope for ALL our sakes, that the second Prince is at the winter palace getting HELP, instead of just? You know... plotting.
His Highness has a nasty tendency to plot, after all. But hey, his Majesty says not to worry about it? I choose to believe him. Concern myself with more immediate threats. Enjoy, no longer turning around to find some baby faced little creep with a hunter's stare, just... watching me. As I try to work. As I try to eat. Around corners, still as a statue, yet somehow a THREAT, in lonely and too empty corridors.
God fucking DAMN, his little "crush" was creepy!
If it weren't for his Majesty? I would have run and run FAR. But... but I? And you CAN NOT repeat this, okay? It's WILDLY inappropriate! A-And I SWEAR I'm never going to.. to ACT on it! I would NEVER. So...so PROMISE, okay?
....cause.... I may... MAY! Possibly! Just a LITTLE bit! Sorta, kinda, just a BIT? Have a TEENY? Little crush... on... his Majesty? Maybe???
YOU CAN'T TELL!
It's SO fucking inappropriate. Oh my GOD. I hate this so much!? Cause he's my BOSS! And old enough to be my DAD! I SHOULDN'T be so attracted to him, right?! Plus he's the KING! There's definitely a power imbalance there! How would that even WORK?! We would have no future! I don't know the first THING about how to BE royalty. And no one would accept me!
Not that I think I even have a CHANCE! Fuck no! I'm not THAT arrogant.
But, like? A girl can day dream. Fantasize, you know?
Which is why? Having his SON? Be a creepo stalker at me? Kinda the WORST. I've literally JUST discovered I'm into older men! Thanks! BEGONE, zygote! Also, your vibes are RANCID! No thanks! I hated that and am SO glad it's gone. Now? All I have to worry about? Is Protagonist-chan and the political SHIT SHOW she drags after her like trail of destruction.
Why is she involving foreign royalty? PLEASE stop involving foreign royalty! Dukes! Religious leaders! MILITARY LEADERS. Stop "Helen of Troy"-ing your ass through our nice, PEACEFUL, kingdom!!! What the ACTUAL FUCK!? This is NOT A THEME PARK.
I watch, vaguely horrified, as his Majesty finishes reading three (yes, count um! Fucking THREE!) different royal missives demanding three different women of legend, from three DIFFERENT legends, who coincidentally enough? Happen to ALL BE THE SAME PERSON. Fucking Protagonist-chan.
They were from long standing ALLIES.
We could not AFFORD to lose those.
And the FOURTH message? Oh, THAT? That, was from his SON! Mr. "But Daddy! I Love her!" HIMSELF! He wants permission to marry the random woman of unknown province he found in the woods! Could be a foreign spy! Could be a mad woman. Who CARES right? They're SO in love~
Enough to START A WAR OVER IT.
I skip the tasting cups and instead? Bring his Majesty a bottle of the strongest star wine I can find. The sort that could damn near eat through rocks and vaporizes in air if you pour it out. Pain killers too, for what HAS to be a killer headache. Then I hesitate. You know what? Fuck it. I grab a cart. Make a care package.
Paper, ink, the STRONG tea, that special occasions tea (in case he needs a reason to remember his will to live), some snacks, a few shawls in case he decides to work late...
It's worth it, to see the way his stressed face relaxs when I return. Eyes softening, corner of his mouth curling up in that tiny, secret, little smile. We can get through this. We WILL get through this. I may not be able to stand by his side, but? I can support him. Help.
So long as HE sits in this office, burning himself down to keep this nation warm, so too, will I.
Tea or booze, your Majesty?
"A blend, I think. Unfortunately, I fear it is going to be a long night for us both." He replies. His voice smooth and low, effortlessly filling the room. A lifetime of public speaking, ingrained so very deep. "You should pour yourself a cup as well, my dear. Sleep will be a long time coming, we will need both the calm and the clarity."
I rolled my borrowed tea cart to the side and got to work. Strong tea and stronger star wine. Certainly a... flavor. Fairly certain such a thing should be illegal. Pretty sure our healers are going to be appalled. But, oh well. Needs, must. One for me, one for him.
He held out a hand. It was a sweeping gesture of his arm, a gentle turn of his wrist. I could never get used to his casual... elegance. The beauty of him. Like a living art work. A dancer. As though he were an actor, striking a pose, about to consider the soul of the simple tea cup. I handed it over, gently and with as much elegance as I could.
It still felt clumsy in comparison.
Yet he still smiled, just slightly. In that way I had learned to spot. Tension dripping away from his shoulders like thawing ice. Running in little rivers like melt waters, as he sat back in his chair, half turning it to face me. A brief moment to relax. Before work begins again.
"Ah... completely vile. Thank you, dear. It's disgusting." He said dryly, catching me off gaurd, and making me damn near snort into my cup. "If it did not work so well? I would never consume this swill again. What a perfect waste of tea and wine. We should invite Yevault."
I laugh. A snirking, snorting, choked little thing into my cup. God, but I've been TRYING to laugh more elegantly. Hell, I've even practiced. But when he catches me off gaurd? I swear to God, I cackle and pop. Like some sort of deranged witch pig. Ow, my sinuses.
"Oh but that's right, Yevault is a healer, on the occasions he takes time from being an unbearable snob. He might actually make us rest, dear. Then where would we be?" His Majesty muses, taking another sip before grimacing at the taste.
I go to respond. Probably some quip about "preferably in bed" or "asleep". Only... only to find my tounge sluggish. My exhaustion mounting, not slipping away. The world has begun to sway. Just a little at first, then notable. My mouth... fuzzy? Prickly. W...what?
His Majesty has begun to frown. Delicately setting down his cup... cup? Something about... a cup... I have taken too long to respond. He rises. Strides in a few, urgent, steps over to where I lean. Against the edge of my assistants desk. Swaying~ swaying~ w-why is the ground... my tounge feels to big. Think? I've begone to drool?
Warm, big hands cup my face. Was slipping forward, to the side. Gonna fall? Not anymore. Up. Hi! Is the king. Hi King. I... I don't feel so good...
His eyes have gone focused and cold. Pretty. Crown begins to glow. Leaves. Gold and gold, a halo of light. From within and beyond him. Power of the throne. Oh... oh I was here before, wasn't I? My bones remember. Like the roots to his great tree, power seeping deeper and deeper into my body, finding imperfections to consume. So... so much LIGHT.
I can not look away.
"Poison, was it? How terribly banal. Do they think me so simple to kill?" There is scorn in his voice. Utter distain. But deep beneath, like the hidden embers of a forest fire, there is rage. "How dare they drag you into this. Bad enough they throw a FIT over some trouble making tart, now they get the innocent involved? What if I had not been paying attention? Or you had taken that tea where I could not see it? Unacceptable."
Like spreading branches, like antlers, the light spread. The hands on my face gentle even as his Majesty's face might as well have been carved from stone. I tried to protest, swallowing thinking past the still rolling nausea. It was my fault! The tasting cups exsist for a REASON. They're supposed to test for things like this. I got too comfortable.
"No." The word slammed down as about an absolute as any sentence CAN. A declaration from on high. The commandment of a king. "It takes far more then simple poisons or common blades to kill me. The power that flows through the Throne insures it. You do not have that luxury. You could have DIED."
"....might still yet."
The last bit, almost a confession, pressed to my brow as he leaned down to press his lips to my forhead. His grip tighter, as though to stop his hands from shaking. My joints were starting to hurt, like I had a nasty cold, and I was already starting to feel feverish. I was starting to drip sweat. Shit.
I tried to stay calm. But... but I was scared. What do I do? Your Majesty! What do I DO?!
"We are going back to my quarters. Work can be brought to me. You need to lay down." He decided after a long moment of deliberation. Something had shifted in his eyes. I couldn't make heads or tails of it. Clung to the only trustworthy source of comfort I knew, in the chaos of this moment. "I'm going to take care of you. I have you, dear. Just trust me, darling. I will fix this. I swear it. You don't have to worry about a thing. Just put all of your trust in me, all right?
"Just come with me, dear. Everything will be all right."
"You can trust me."
#threepandas#yandere#yandere x reader#yanblr#reader insert#yanderecore#yandere otome isekai#yandere otome#royal yandere#oblivious reader#yandere sees his chance and takes it#he had a ten year plan#but this works too#tw poison#bad end poisoned cups#bad end poisoned cups au
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so I've been reading real published romance books and they cannot fill the void that ao3 and company do fill, but they did give me an idea. ok, lmfao, hear me out. (I've had this in my drafts for way too long, i decided to release it because why tf not)
content: alien!141, soulmates!141, abduction, intergalactic human trafficking, space shit; very vague idea of anything ever; probably made up alien names; writer is at work while dealing with annoying costumers so it's rushed and dumb.
imagine:
Good ol' you, in your house, unaware that in the deep, vast universe, trafficking also existed. Not long ago, a reptilian race found out about our warm bodies, interesting features and intelligent yet primitive brains, and started to abduct and sell men and women to rich buyers. It was good business, especially considering our side of the universe wasn't even aware of extraterrestrial life, so they couldn't even guess where they disappeared! The treaty and all intergalactic laws were vague about us. "Let them be" meaning "Let them fuckers figure their shit out, lol idk".
Well, as you can understand, the Sheh'deauz (lmfao stay with me) decided to in fact not let us be. So back to lovely you, yeah?
Home alone, playing videogames or something, when suddently you see some flashes of light out the window. It was weird considering it wasn't raining but you remained calm, as you assumed maybe a storm is approaching? Mainly, you couldn't give a shit but the moment you heard scratching and hissing outside your door, you panicked. Long story short, your house slowly started filling with an invisible gas that just made you pass out, but you did see your door opening, same weird blue-white light emanating from under it as it did, and a scaly leg entering your home as you fell on the floor.
You figured, as the genius that you were, that you were, in fact, not dreaming as you spent many hours (days? felt like days) in a cage. Very oddly technologically advanced. In another strike of genius, and of course, after seeing your kidnappers, you figured it was a spaceship and you were in some deep sci-fi shit. (maybe after laughing and asking them where are the hidden cameras. i would...)
After throwing tantrums and having the ugly multi-colored creatures mock you and hiss at you, you kinda gave up and sat by the very human bed you've been given and allowed time to pass. You were given food every so often, a toilet nearby, water at your disposal. But you feared for your life.
Well, let me tell you something. You have the luckiest misfortune of all, really. Or maybe, just maybe, things are meant to be this way. Maybe it was all meant to happen like this. Allow me to explain.
In another corner of the universe, four of the greatest warriors of the Intergalactic Army frowned at a holographic screen. A female alien, older, still beautiful, ethereal looking, skin creamy white with some lavender edges and striking blue eyes was frowning back.
"You're fucking kidding me." Their captain said (in a different language than ours but your writer here is multi-lingual, don't worry), getting closer to the screen. She just nodded, rubbing her forehead.
"Where is that again?" Asked another.
"So like—" a third one, this one with a distinct accent compared to the others, tilted his head incredulously. "They're our cousins genetically?"
"You can say so." She groaned. "The Council decided to not touch that part of the galaxy. They are being observed. Fucking hell! They were going on the right path."
"If they don't destroy their own planet before." The captain muttered, voice tired and coarse. In his many, many years lived, he's seen it happen again and again. Greed and stupidity almost whipped their race, so he's been following the Terrans close-by, as close as a mere Intergalactic Task Force Captain (stick with me lmfao) could follow.
"So what's the plan?" The tallest one asked, mask made of what others assumed was one of his most dangerous prey's skull was placed on his face.
"We give them hell." Captain commanded, Laswell nodding.
"Stay close, at the outskirts of their galaxy. We intercept any package and find their buyers."
"What do we do with our lil cousins then?"
"Eliminate any witnesses."
Shit went down really quick. You figured they were preparing for something as the guards by your cell somehow summoned some advanced looking chairs from the walls to strap themselves on and hissed at you mockingly, as they've done before. You just sat in a corner, by the bed, and wanted to cry. You were going through all stages of grief every few hours and it was getting exhausting. You were just now starting to understand how dire your situation was and how little chances you had of going home.
They turned off the main lights and a thousand scenarios crossed your mind. It was as if they were bracing for something. You frowned as you saw the guards tense as some alien hieroglyphics appeared on a holographic screen. It looked... like a countdown... You grasped the bed, trying to brace yourself for something. And good that you did because it felt as if the ship collapsed with something.
It basically shook you off to the ground, and while you'd think this was supposed to happen, you quickly realize it wasn't since the guards unstrapped themselves from the chairs and started shrieking as alarms suddently blared. After that? Seconds and it was over. Two white blasts ended them both, hitting them exactly in the middle of their ugly skulls. You did not hear any footsteps but you saw a shadow approaching your cell, so you scurried closer to your bed and now presumably magic shield that will block blasts that melt alien skulls.
The barriers from your cell unlocked, sliding to the sides and someone jumped in front of you. Someone big, dressed sleekly in black, although you could swear the edges of his frame looked transparent for a second. It was big, yet had the complexity of a human so you stayed locked in place, big scared eyes on the person pointing a big son-of-a-bitch gun at you. You heard it growl and speak something shortly, and the hairs on your whole body pricked.
World stopped for Price as he cracked another neck, just after locking eyes with the leader of this "cargo" ship. He was about to take a step forward to gently guide this person towards personal enlightenment by confessing all the information they needed, even if it would be involuntarily, when Soap spoke... well, growled just one word in their comms.
"Mate."
#cod scenarios#cod x reader#141 x reader#alien!141#alien!141 x reader#soulmate!au#soulmate!au on crack and make it harem x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#john price x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader
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This Bunny Bites - Part 1
I will not apologize. I have been bothering my friend with this fic idea for so, so long..
You clocked the group of men as the entered the club. Clock in the back had shown just after ten PM when you popped back there for a bottle. They settled into seats at an empty table, the four of them giving a wide berth of elbow room between themselves and their neighbor. None of them looked at River who commanded the stage. You didn’t think much of it, lots of men came here to ‘do business’ such as it was.
You delivered the bottle to a private room, letting Strawberry handle the client service. You were functioning as the manager tonight despite being scheduled for a dancers shift. No one else had approached the now occupied table. You strode up, perking up your tits just so.
“Can I get you gentlemen anything to drink?” Your voice came out sultry but still within the customer service range.
You look at them from left to right, clean cut guy, dark hair with a well trimmed beard.
“Top shelf whiskey, neat.”
You look to the next man, stubble warm brown skin tone.
“Beer, whatever is on tap.”
Next man wore a ski mask decorated with a human skull. You don’t blink, wasn’t even the worst thing you had seen tonight.
“Black Russian.”
You turn to the last man. It had been a long time since you saw a face that looked like yours. The mohawk hadn’t been there the last time.
“Get the fuck out.”
“What!?” Your half brother Johnny jumped up from his seat. “Why me! I haven’t donne anything!”
You reel back, struck by his words. He didn’t recognize you. Of course, the fucker walked out on you years ago and couldn’t be bothered to remember you now.
“Really,” you dragged the word out, “Johnny McTavish hasn’t done anything to his baby sister?”
His jaw dropped, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull as he took in your barely covered, well, everything.
“Bunny?” your childhood nickname comes out as a broken whisper. Like he has anything to be broken up over.
“Final warning, get out or get thrown out. Your friends too for arguing.” You shift your chin their direction.
The masked man stands, pulls out his wallet and drops a couple bills on the table before pushing Johnny forward.
“Come on Soap, more places we can drink tonight.��� His voice rumbled just loud enough to carry over the music in the space.
The other two stand, more money dropped on the table. Beard gives you a quiet ‘ma’am’ as he passes. Stubble nods when he catches your eye. They all follow Mask out the door. He keeps a hand on Johnny as if to remind him that he can be carried. Bastard was big enough to make it work.
You see Barry the security guard glance between you and the men who just left. You gather up the cash on the table and fold it over in your hand as you walk towards him.
“Barry I just need ten minutes okay? I just had a…“ you search for the right word to express seeing your brother who you haven’t seen in almost fifteen years at a stripper bar. You don’t find a word for it. “Weird interaction and need to clear my head. Can you make rounds on all the girls? Misty and Summer should be finishing up their dances soon.”
“Course, I’ll take care of it. Just let me know if you need anything else dove.” Barry nodded and set about to keep the girls safe.
This club was a bit unusual in the area, they had a firm drink, no touch policy. Anyone wanting to touch a girl, even to fix the strap on her heels had to have a wristband that barred them from alcohol. Not that they had many takers for those but enough recovered alcoholics had started to talk that the club had become a decent spot to hang after a meeting.
You slip into the dressing room, taking a seat on a bench as you count out the cash. You count it again, and again before you believe it. Eight hundred dollars. Three men who you kicked out for coming in with your brother left an eight hundred dollar tip. They didn’t even get their drinks!
“What the fuck just happened?” you whisper to the room.
Part 2
Bunny Masterlist | Masterlist
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Kinktober day 2
ftm yautja oc (Bhankui-ya) x male reader
Can Yautja be FTM? No idea, but this one can. Ive only watched one predator movie, so this is mainly just cooked up from my own imagination and attraction to Yautja, as well as the many fics I read. I used a generator for the name, so if it’s bad, blame the generator.
This is also more just “haha funny relationship between a yautja and his ooman” kinda vibes. very fun to write, i would love to write about Bhan again.
Mixed wording for the yautjas bits.
Kinktober 2024 masterlist
Dating a yautja was an… interesting experience. Bhankui-ya, or as you called him, Bhan, was no exception. But really, dating a scaley 8ft tall alien warrior who could rip your spine out of your body with his pinky really didn’t get any weirder. You were never gonna complain though, except for the times he would sit his entire weight in your lap, and you were left gasping for air. It wasn’t your fault that yautja weigh the same as three men of their size. You loved it though, and you had a feeling Bhan knew that.
How you came to date your partner, mate, as he called it, was another strange set of circumstances. You had a past of your own, and there wasn’t much left to live for. So, you had set out to take down the people who’d harmed you and your loved ones the most with you. Your body was littered with the scars they left on you, and your heart was covered in even more, aching for the siblings they’d taken from you. Be it from their abuse, or your siblings taking their own lives because of them.
It hadn’t truly registered at the time. You didn’t know what a bad blood was, or that Bhan was an enforcer. You just knew that scaley fucker, who was already missing an arm and hissing like a wet feral cat, was trying to take your kill goal from you. Bahn would later tell you, after laying in bed feeling like hed just drained the very life out of you, that you fought more feral than a kiande amedha fighting for its queen.
You still didn’t really know what that was, but you had seen skulls, trophies, Bhan kept of them. Apparently, they were a big deal, and seeing you acting like one got him wet. For some reason. But hey, you got hard seeing him cleaning his knives and spears, who were you to judge that he got heated up seeing you rip a bad bloods mandibles right out their face.
Anyways. In the end you came with him, since you’d “proven yourself” somehow. And having literally nothing and no one on earth, you just followed. You were no warrior or hunter, at least nothing compared to yautja. But you had a “look in your eye” in Bhans words, or rather clicks. The implant to understand him still itched at times. You just “needed to unleash it” whatever that meant.
Turns out the one place you can unleash this so-called power is in the bedroom. Because, where yautja may be the superiors in many ways, it seems in the way of the body humans were still more advanced. Bhan would tell you it was because “Oomans like you are controlled by bodily urges”, you just think he’s jealous you used to fuck a toy before you met him.
You honestly felt like you were on top of the world the first time you used a vibrator on his clits, because apparently his people had three. Seeing him rip holes in his seat and how he would arch, and roar made you feel euphoric, it had to be the same rush Bhan felt on a good kill. But instead, you got it from making him squirt so hard his legs were shaking.
You never got to live on that high for very long. Apparently Bahn liked to “peel you back down again” so you “didn’t get too confident”. Apparently, a confident hunter was a dead hunter, or something like that. It was pretty hard to think about his “lessons” when he was riding you though, his sheer bulk slamming down on your already aching human hips until you were making noises similar to the creatures he hunted when they were dying.
That didn’t stop you from stocking up on toys though. The next time you came to earth, you scrounged up money one way or the other, and immediately entered the best quality shop you could find. Bhankui-ya was off doing whatever he needed to do, and in the meantime you were trying to find out which wand would work on him.
The conversation with the store clerk was embarrassing, to you at least. They seemed quite entertained as you fumbled out that you were trying to find something that would work on your “taller than you can imagine, buff as hell and more dangerous than a tiger on steroids” partner. They were very helpful though, and even gave you some discounts and wished you luck on your way, as you stumbled out of the store with at least two bags on each arm.
It was only experience at this point that helped you remember where the ship was, since it was invisible and all that. But as you got inside you immediately clambered off to the bedroom, where you got to work. Bhankui-ya wouldn’t know what hit him when he got back, you would make sure of that.
Of course, you shouldn’t have been surprised when your mate came back beaten and bloody, but lugging the bad bloods head under his arm. You had gained a fascination with seeing the heads of his kills, alright? So, what if it made you morbid. And Bhan? He just seemed to almost preen as you oohd and aahd over his kill.
Patching him up was a couple’s activity, mainly just because you liked patching him up, and Bhan liked when you did it. He could have easily fixed himself up with the many tools he got as a yautja, but where was the fun in that, when he got to see his little blood thirsty ooman patch him up instead. Bhan did have to stop you from licking his blood up at times, lest he decided to ride you right then and there.
In the end you forgot all about the wide array of toys youd laid out in the bedroom, in the order you planned to use them on him. You sent Bhan on his way, deciding to be a good mate and drag his heavy as fuck armour and weapons off to where they needed to go for cleaning and polishing. It caused aches in your back, but Bhans purrs made it all worth it.
Walking into the bedroom Bhankui-ya got to see your little plan, and if the hunt and your pampering, as well as that flicker of bloodlust in your eyes hadn’t got him wet, then this did. How sweet of you, his little mate, to want to pamper him this way. Had you remembered it was your anniversary? (you hadn’t) how could he not use the gifts you set out.
Walking into the bedroom to see Bhan fucking himself with one of the toys, a vibrator against his clits made you almost pass out. Hed even worked one of the plugs into his other hole, his muscular thighs spread wide open as he purred in your direction, his noise like a siren call that had you stumbling over your own feet, almost making you eat floor.
Bahn had tried to laugh at your stumbling, but you were on his slit like a starved animal. It was only the fact that Bahn let you that you got the vibrator away from his nubs, mainly because he loved your mouth on him. It was just so much nicer to have a human eat him out than a fellow yautja, he had taken lips for granted his entire life.
Having just gotten back from a hunt left him more pliable, and willing to go along with your whims. Which was how you got four of those wired vibrators strapped to his thighs, and up his cunt, set to the highest setting as you fucked into his ass. The wand youd bought was worth all the money as well, as you used it to swap from one bundle of nerves to the other, Bhankui-ya howling loud enough that your ears were ringing. You wouldn’t be shocked if they were bleeding, but did you care? No, no you did not.
The adrenaline from his hunt, your powerful scent of want and hunger, and just the fact that Bhankui-ya didn’t indulge in other mates before you, left him sensitive and so needy, something you gladly abused any chance you got.
The bed needed to be completely replaced afterwards, but that’s how it went every time you got him like this. Never in your dreams did you think you could have someone as powerful and dangerous as Bhan, limp and panting, his entire body shaking and spent. Seeing his mandibles quivering always made your heart lurch, it felt like a symbol that you had done it all right.
Times like this were never about you or getting you off. But you also knew Bhan wouldn’t accept it if you didn’t get to finish too, so you always did it wherever he wanted it most. There was little chance of you two having offspring, mainly because Bhan had an implant that made pregnancy impossible. Because, unsurprisingly, yautja had even better prevention care than humans could ever dream off. You swore you heard him chirping about pups every now and then though, when you had him so wrung out that his eyes kept rolling back, even when you weren’t doing more than petting his torso.
Aftercare was also something Bhankui-ya could appreciate that came from humans. Yautja did care for each other after mating, but it was mainly just to patch each other up if it got bloody, or feeding the other food and water. Being rubbed all over and massaged was enjoyable, so you wouldn’t catch Bhankui-ya complaining.
You both knew you were gonna be the one shaking and limping in a few days though. He couldn’t let you get too confident, now, could he? Maybe hed even show you how some of the weapons he owned could be used in more… fun and creative ways.
#male reader#yautja#alien vs predator#predator#yautja oc#alien boyfriend#monster lover#yautja x male reader#yautja x reader#yautja imagine#yautja headcanon#yautja x you#predator x reader#predator x male reader#predator imagine#predator headcanon#ftm yautja#can yautja be ftm?#idc Bahn is#i already love Bahn#please talk to me about Bahn#and his little freak ooman#i know nothing about predator and yautja culture#but i am obsessed
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You know how in Naruto, Sealing is a Finicky Art?
It's like computer coding, calligraphy, and symbolism had a super-powered/reality bending baby. You gotta think in VERY ADHD twirls and swirls too be any good at it. Which is why the Uzumaki rocked it so hard. But I digress.
Is Complexe AF.
Bends Reality and is EASY to fuck up.
Wanna bet? The BEST way to learn/use it? Is to copy already functioning examples? But Oh! How do you KNOW they are functioning? Safe? Well OBVIOUSLY, your Skilled At Seals teacher looks at it first! THEN gives it too you!
Using random seals you find in the dirt is how you get splattered across three different countryside in peices, after all. Possibly take out a nearly Town or two while your at it. No One Is THAT Dumb... RIGHT?
Enter Stage Right o/~☆ Humanity, Everybody! *polite, if strained, golf clapping*
They ABSOLUTELY Are!
Especially Ninja!
Ninja who, after fuckin MURDERING A WHOLE ASS VILLAGE OF SEALING MASTERS, decided to pick through the rubble! Because THAT is gonna work out GREAT! After all... it's not like you just KILLED the fuckers who could tell you what IS and IS NOT functional!
Was that once the "hazardous advanced class' sealing failures" bin? Or was it the "super awesome candy and rainbows" stash!? You don't know. NO ONE DOES NOW. You fuckin KILLED THE PEOPLE WHO DID.
They had their own REGIONAL Sealing Script.
You know, the one they taught to THEIR STUDENTS. Not outsiders. The students you KILLED, you absolute fuck nuggets. But hey! The threat of the Super Scary Sealing Masters is no more! Good job. You've successfully burned down the library. It can't hurt you ever again.
But NOW? You have piles upon piles of GIBBERISH.
You can only VAGUELY tell the novice seals from the master's. And even then? Do you have any idea what most of them DO? Nope. And after a certain point in training? The shaky, uncertain hand writing becomes smooth enough, that it all blends together in "Seals".
Now... what is the SMART thing to do?
Curse your hubris and the atrocities your fear allowed you to commit, obviously. But BEYOND that, Don't Touch Them. But we're Ninja. So WE are all suicidal idiots. The less smart but still Reasonably Precautionary thing to do? Study the amateur Seals. Learn Sealing from other masters.
Crack the Regional Script and slowly, painstakingly, work through each seal as we sort out what is and isn't safe. What can be salvaged. What can be used and how.
A process that will likely take years if not decades.
But of course, that's not GOOD ENOUGH for certain grabby handed, power hungry, short sighted, fuck weasels! No, no. It much EASIER to just throw human life into the blender until profit pops out! Completely IGNORING, of course, that SOME of these?
Could very well be the "Too Dangerous To Ever Use/Will Destroy Us All/Take Them All With Us" type of Seals that Kage usually LOCK UP. The kind you CAN'T destroy once you've made them, because the fall out would be WORSE. And?
Even if you are a murderous, middle management, go nowhere in your life, BASTARD of a ninja? Sometimes you can look down at the massive, intricately detailed, killer off nation's before you. Something that was WRAPPED in locks upon locks upon chains upon seals. And KNOW in your selfish, survival at all costs little heart... You DO NOT want anyone to fuck with this.
You CAN NOT let anyone fuck with this.
NO ONE can be allowed to touch it.
Not for ANYTHING.
You may fear S Class Kage and Missing Nin and what all else they may do to you. But THIS? Your eyes can't even properly FOCUS on it. It's like a tunnel that's lined with poetry, stretching all the way to the Earth's core. It's perfectly flat. It moves, a gentle rotation. But is that just your eyes, tricking you?
So much ink, it swallows the scroll, and this is when it's COMPRESSED.
How many nations?
How many NATIONS must this monstrosity span, when free?
It must have taken a Master decades, if not their entire life, to complete. Possibly a family, several generations. But... but gods it is a work of MADNESS. No wonder it was sealed. It speak, you... you THINK... of Death...
Of it's KING.
Something BEYOND the Shinigami. BEYOND Death and the Purelands.
Who the FUCK would try to summon something beyond GODS? Did they think they could control it? Chain it like the bijuu? You're so cold inside. Because you KNOW. You fucking KNOW, the ambitions and arrogance of those above you.
They'll think they can.
They won't listen.
You... you have to take this and RUN. You stand no chance. But no chance is better then oblivion. Anything is better then standing by and watching it happen.
You obviously don't make it. You never expected too. But at least... at least you won't have to watch whatever THAT is... arrive... fuck...
At least you TRIED.
And? Because leaf Ninja, specifically certain teams, have the MOST Shit luck imaginable? They arrive, having crossed paths with several other teams, on the way back home (yay! Warm food and real beds!) Just in time to see a desperate looking ninja from one of the small villages get fuckin pincushioned. Drop what is VERY clearly an Uzushio Scroll of considerable size and SEVERE SSS+ DO Not EVER Touch Grade Type Markings, and then some joining from that same village go to grab it.
Notice them.
You know... the multiple LEAF NINJA. Who TOO THIS DAY, wear the UZU swirl on their uniforms as a mourning tribute to the DEAR AND PRECIOUS ALLIES they could not save. The Uzushio Allies. Those ones. The ones that were, in fact, from Uzushio.
LIKE THE SCROLL YOU ARE HOLDING.
By the WAY! How DID you get that Scroll? Doesn't seem like something our dear friends would just HAND over, now does it? You didn't happen to LOOT THEIR FUCKIN GRAVES did you? Cause we sure would be MAD about that!
:)
Real Mad.
Dude obviously panics. Because that? That is a VERY pissed off bunch of Ninja, many in the bingo book, one of whom is Very Clearly throwing off BIJUU CHAKRA. And just said "my family's" Ha ha... Oh Shit that's an Uzumaki.
So he decides to USE THE SEAL.
What does it do?
He doesn't know! But it's probably SOMETHING big and impressive, right?
Yes. :) Yes it Does.
*Crack*
The SKY cracks. Like a pane of glass, struck by a hammer. Spiderwebbing as far as the eye can see above them, all from one central point, directly above the seal. The cracks there are concentrated. A point of impact. And through the cracks... something GREEN shines.
Brighter then the daylight around it, yet darker in color then the blue of the sky. Lazily whisping out like escaping mist. Time seems slow as their eyes all whip up wards. Even with senses beyond the normal human base, it is... inconceivable. SOMETHING winds back. They can not see it.
But they can feel it.
Like changing pressure as a storm rolls in.
*Crack!*
Green overtakes the blue. The sky a Kaleidescape of shards, held together by stubbornness alone. Reflecting a calm day that seems IMPOSSIBLE in the face of what's occurring. There should be wind. Great pressure changes in the face of so much FORCE, but the trees are eerily still.. utterly silent..
Nothing dares bring attention to itself.
Some distant part of their minds try to gather the thought that... that it could be an illusion. They... they should check. But they can FEEL it. Like a weight draped gently but without mercy upon their shoulders. It did not slam. But... but they can not move. Can barely breathe. It is beyond killing intent.
It is simply...
DEATH.
*CRASH!*
At last, the sky gives way. A fist, the size of towers punching through. It... it is almost elegant. A ring, almost in the shinigami's visage, wraps itself in a howling and snarled menace, around a great shining finger. A glove protects almost delicate looking, claw tipped fingers. The fist pulls back. Shard of sky falling, Floating, suspended in their moment of destruction, a glittering frame for the gapping wound that has overtaken everything.
Death...
Death has Green Eyes.
A crown of ice and starlight, pulled straight from the coldest north, hair that drifts like the drowned. His skin is that of a corpse. His breath a coldness that seems to suck all warmth from the world. There is no rage, no great irritation, his face merely twisted in slight annoyance. Mild displeasure.
And yet it feels like their greatest sin.
It BURNS.
They are ants. Less then ants. He... He LOOMS so TALL. The Green BURNS into their eyes, into their veins, chokes their lungs. The silence stretches. Those great eyes, the eyes of a GOD, move from them. To the man with the Seal.
He dies instantly.
Shit.
They... they need to... to...
Naruto wanders over and picks up the scroll, completely ignore the Giant Sky God Of Death and how all his friends are frozen in primordial fear. He roughly shakes the dirt off the delicate old relic, then squint at it. Figures he's holding it upside-down. Flipping it, he squints harder. Tilts his head and hums.
"Oh!"
He holds his hand up, turning to look at the terrifying Deity From Beyond Comprehension.
"It's me! I'm the Uzumaki! But, uh, I didn't actually summon you? Our stuff got stolen. Which really sucks!" He looks down again, brings the paper nearly to his nose trying to make out some thing. "Uuuuuh, huh. Got it! Can you get smaller? I don't got any BBQ or anything ON me right now, but Choji's Family makes REALLY good food! We can go out to eat? Ooh ooh! Maybe RAMEN! You like Ramen, right?!"
"Yep, Definitely one of Shouta's."
Rumbles The Actual Fucking King Of Death, shaking the trees and ground under your feet. As you probably stare at your fellow Leaf Nin like WTF.
"Sure, man. Give me a second."
And suddenly? He's leaning forward. Shrinking and twisting in ways that are painful to look at. The sky is... is not healing, so much as UNcracking. Rewinding itself to a pristine state. Until only a large, floating, armored God in black and white floats above you. Glowing.
One that... that is apparently FRIENDS with the Uzumaki Clan.
Because of course he is.
Naruto's introducing his Toads. And teammates. You almost feel bad for Hatake. But like? Better you then me, buddy. THEN? Death? Decides? For some inconceivable reason. "You know what? Im'ma just turn into a human WITH NO CHAKRA NETWORK. Reeeeeally freak out the locals."
And now Leaf is INCHARGE of entertaining A GOD until he decides to leave.
Or (presumably) Else.
And!! Because life loves to kick ninjas IN THE BALLS (for their stupid, STUPID life choices, YOU FUCKERS) it just HAD to be the One God? That can SEE DEAD PEOPLE. Because it's not like ninjas have Death Related Traumas or anything!
*internal ninja screaming*
Feed the guy some BBQ! Stat! Please Akimichi! Save us!
@hdgnj @hypewinter @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @nerdpoe @mutable-manifestation
#dpxnaruto#naruto prompt#dp prompt#dpxnaruto prompt#narutoxdp#whoops we summoned a ghost king!#but dont worry#UZU accidentally did that TONS#he just asks for food then leaves#cool guy#thats why were are all chakra beasts and also probably ghosts now!#naruto is like?#new frien?#new frien!#no hes not asking#minji's writing
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sooo....i have returned with more crazy shit 😋
i dunno if you read,write,or like tarophilia or whatever its called. its like monster sex basically or just fairlytale sex in general i think.
but anyway i wanted to ask for alien!jisung with human!fem!reader? like a ship crashed into the forest next to readers home in the forest so she went to check it out. when she looked it was an alien boy. brown curly hair with black glasses perched on their nose with a stripped sweater and black sweatpants. she felt bad for him because he was bleeding from his head. she took him in and helped his wounds. after waiting he woke up. they talked since he asked what happened and ended up being friends (kind of)
after months of being friends then best friends, they got together. they were happy and reader liked her alien boyfriend. and jisung liked his human girlfriend. a bit later into the relationship they realized they never had sex. just making out and grinding. no more than that. but one day jisung wanted to eat out reader. she let him of course and when the sweet taste of her cunt hits his tongue he lost it. he went tongue deep into her tight hole. purple tongue trying to find the source of the sweet treat. while reader whimpered and whined about it being too much and telling him to slow down. clenching hard around his tounge. after hours of being down there and reader once again whining about it being too much and no more, he says "jus' one more baby. ill stop after yeah?" before going back tongue deep into her with his pale purple tongue. (he ends up being down there for another hour :])
(p.s. if you dont like this type of stuff it’s totally fine! i was half asleep doing this so dont feel bad and do it anyway since its long :] if you couldnt tell i have a oral fixation ˙𐃷˙)
-🪼
My darling jellyfish nonnie, I love this thought so much - also, I'm 100% a monster fucker [as shown by my Naga! Minho spooktober fic, plus the fact that I'd go on all fours for Werewolf! Chris in a heartbeat] so Alien! Jisung is right up my alley!!
I don't even know how I could expand on this other than sharing more horny-ish thoughts about it; like the fact that not only is his tongue purple, but it's long and he seems to produce more saliva than necessary - since, you know, he's an alien and all.
How the first time reader found that she had more than platonic feelings for Alien! Jisung, was when he discovered the joy of cheesecake and whipped cream - the pure joy that illuminated his face after the first bite, followed by the ecstasy after he finished his piece and looked at her with round eyes that begged for more.
Perhaps their first kiss, how it came about after watching Howl's Moving Castle [or, rewatching it, in her case] - the credits hadn't been running for more than two seconds before Jisung's face came into view and his lips were on hers. It didn't last long, and it was obvious that he didn't fully understand the connotation behind kissing when you questioned his very sudden, but not unwelcome, move. "Happy!" He'd reply, as small, fluttering chirping noises emanated from him - a sound she'd grown familiar with to understand it was something that occurred when he was, indeed, happy.
And then, it was when those timid, innocent touches of a curious first, actual, kiss turned into chasing that feeling of desire and need - the moment where best friends and something more became blurred, but neither one of them cared. It was when Jisung learned that feelings could be acted upon, that kissing wasn't the only way humans expressed their passion, and that maybe there weren't that many differences between your kind and his.
At least, not when it came to pleasure.
#maybe I'll turn this into a series#for now I'll just share my thoughts~#✧. ┊ kacii answers#✧. ┊ 🪼 nonie#✧. ┊ jellyfish nonie#skz smut#stray kids smut#han jisung x reader#han jisung smut
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𝕮𝖆𝖎𝖚𝖘 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖎
I actually really enjoyed making the nsfw alphabet for Marcus in my last request (Here), so here's Caius too and i'll be doing one for Aro later
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
While Caius is still attentive after sex, it really depends on how it went down. If it was a frustration fuck then he's giving you a long kiss in thanks and making sure you're okay, probably drawing a shared bath and finding a 'snack' to share. But if it was a quickie then he'll quickly pat your hair back down and make sure you look presentable again with a quick kiss and he's off.
B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Caius loves his own torso. This goes from his shoulders and chest, down to his lower abdomen. He's an artist at heart and something about the way your hand looks pushing on his torso while you ride him is picturesque. And that leads me to his favourite feature on you: your hands. He loves them so much, your hands are his obsession. From kissing the back of them, to watching them wrapper around his cock. From your nails digging into his neck, to you playing gently with his hair.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
When Caius cums there isn't much of it, but it's thick and a pearlescent white. He loves cumming in you plain and simple. Theres just something about the fact that part of him is in you that gets to him.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He really really really wants you to secretly cockwarm him in court. Just sit there with him fully sheathed inside of you and have nobody any the wiser. To claim you as his in from of these fools and have them be so beneath him they don't even know. It's a power move. And insanely fucking hot.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Before he met you Caius was a little bit of a manwhore in my professional opinion, and so i think that he has plenty of experience in bed. Of course none of that compares to you in his eyes, but his past... encounters... with humans and vampires alike all still happened.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Cowgirl!!! Enough said. The knowledge that he is in total control and still gets to make you do all the work is a bonus, but it's really about the fact he gets to watch you - oh so jaw dropping you - have your way with him. He get's to watch all your little reactions when you change the tempo, or how wide eyed and flustered you get when he unexpectedly bucks his hips up.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Nah, I can see him finding the moment relatively serious. Maybe not so much if you're having a giggly and fun little day but this grumpy bum has appearances to keep up. At least, thats what you'll say if anyone ever asks. Because in reality giggly soft sex makes his heart go all ooey gooey and soft. He could pepper your face with kisses and make bad jokes in bed all day, but shhh thats for your ears only.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He's a well groomed man, not much else to say about that. He'd also prefer if you were too, but he is not afraid in the slightest to get his hands dirty and face the bush
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Again it depends on of he's in one of his many mood swings. He can be, especially of you hint at it. He'll beckon to your will any day. But he probably won't think to set it up all romantically unless it's near a special date for the two of you. And no, he doesn't care that the years all blurr together when you live for eternity. He'll celebrate an anniversary every year over the millennia's if it gives him an excuse to spoil you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
As i previously said, Caius was a manwhore back in the day. I think this cheeky fucker has a high sex drive, and so it really depends on you. If you match his high drive then no, because he's too busy giving you the night of your life instead. But if your sex drive is on the lower side he'll have some alone time happily.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
BONDAGE AND WAXPLAY does this even need explaining? I can't decide if this kinky fucker is more of a masochist or sadist to be completely honest with you... Might also let you peg him
L = Location (favourite places to do the do)
His throne. It's such a rush to him to have you there on the symbol of his power and leaving him powerless with the way you're fucking him. Moreover, having you whimpering and begging for him feels like pure adrenaline going through his vains, as if he's gorging himself on blood and getting blood-high or something
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Any form of you initiating really, he's always ready to head back to his chamber and get freaky. Once you wore lingerie and smeared yourself in blood so he could lick it off you and he's never been more excited in his life.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Somebody else seeing you in a vulnerable state. Caius is incredibly possessive but he's even more protective. It's all fun and games playing it risky in the throne room until someone actually walks in and he tears their throat out. Could have this all have been avoided if you just did it in a secure location? Yes. Will he still rip off the head of whoever walks in? Also yes.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
I feel like he much prefers to give oral and instead of receiving oral he likes to receive handjobs. Please stroke his cock painstakingly slow with a fresh set of sharp nails on you, he mighty combust or, y'know, bust.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Hard and rough, it's sloppy toppy and animalistic. It's hedonistic fucking until you feel so good it's like you've ascended. And yes, he can switch to something more passionate and gentle and often will on anniversaries or if the mood presents itself, but dirty fucking is is fave
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He loves them, and they happen all the time. A quickie before his next trial? Yes please. A quickie before his next meeting with Aro and Marcus? It would be wrong to refuse. A quickie before he heads out to battle? It'll help him think straight. You get the gist
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He's all game, ready to risk it all for a good time with you. Well, almost anything. You tried temperature play once but now that's banned because vampires and fire don't exactly mix well together. But don't get me wrong, he would totally walk through fire for that pussy, but he once again had that protective side of him flare up and you are now banner from being within 3 metres of open flames.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Is this even a question? He'd spend the rest of his eternity fucking you with little breaks to feed or paint if he could. Actually, maybe he should bring that up in his next meeting... nah, he enjoys ruling and the feel of power too much. Though he would appreciate some more free time for some quality time. In all honesty, he's just a horny bastard.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Yeah, it's not like he's got a collection or anything but he definitely has his fare share for you to use on him or his to use on you
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Caius is such a massive tease. If Marcus is the advocate for overstim then Caius is the advocate for edging. Theres something that really ignites in him when you're begging him to just let you cum already
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a grunter. Booo! But wait, don't throw your tomatoes yet. If you just tell him that you think the sound of him moaning is incredibly attractive and sexy he'll make it a point to be vocal for you.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He likes when you get all dressed up and dolled up for him. Like a lot. Is willing to spend half the budget on nails, shoes, dresses, and lingerie for you because... wow
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Baby, Sweetie, Darling, oh, sweet child of mine. Good luck
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Even through vampires can't sleep, he feels so relaxed afterward. It's a 50/50 shot really, either he want's to be babied and needs affection or is pumped up enough to go slaughter a whole village
Marcus vers.
#x reader#headcannons#hc#twilight#twilight saga#volturi#carlisle cullen imagine#caius volturi imagine#caius volturi x reader#caius volturi#volturi kings#volturi kings x reader#volturissideslut
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