#i just like how she's growing so much more emotionally complex in my head

[invinciblerodent]

The more I think about it, the more I'm into this happy little accident. Like it really turned my girl's emotional development throughout the story on top of its head, and I'm so happy it took me for such a ride, completely unintentionally.

I was planning that by the end of act 2, she'd be growing a bit more secure in her role and in her current persona that she's construced for herself, and the main angsting was supposed to come from the plot itself. But now, beyond the reveal of the form the Dream Guardian took for her (her ex-husband, which was supposed to spark an unpleasant conversation that'd make Astarion realize he actually barely knows anything about her past- mostly because he just. didn't ask?), I skimmed the elf chapter in Mordekainen's real quick, and I'm beginning to think this thing specifically will be an excellent little narrative device to act as an opportunity for very quick and intense bonding between Iona and Halsin.

Like, Halsin is a mature, categorically middle-aged elf with average-, to better than average emotional intelligence, and she, at 60, is technically almost a juvenile elf still. An adult for sure, but in human terms, they're like... a 40-year-old man and a 23-year-old woman. She's -comparatively- very young still, and she still gets some access to her primal memories when she's in her trance, though they've been getting less frequent (they're supposed to stop completely around the end of the first century- I don't know how undeath is supposed to affect the Drawing of the Veil, but I for one definitely hc that death cuts off the primal memories and basically forces an undead elf to "grow up" prematurely right then and there), and Halsin's casual warmth and general experience with these things probably comforts her more than either of them would have expected.

After seeing this thing, I think she'll become keenly aware that this, this isn't her first time being abducted: this really is just the first time she didn't die in the process. And she tries to move past it on her own, accept that that was just another one in her long line of past lives that was killed and stripped of her soul and psyche, but it's... very difficult. She keeps seeing it, in her trance, behind closed eyelids... for days, even beyond the Emperor's New Groove Big Reveal, she keeps reliving moments from that life. Who she was, what she did, how it ended. She keeps reliving that tragically short life that ended with her head stripped, flayed, and mounted on a table at an age even younger than she is now (because that face's maturity seems to be at 0), and no trace of "her" remaining beyond that grotesque effigy that's been there, used as a vessel, for gods know how long. She's going back and forth between "I should have taken it", "I should have smashed it", and "I should have just left it the fuck alone".

I kind of really like that this throws yet another wrench into this already pretty messed-up relationship. I like that it's all strained and weird now, with Astarion's mind almost singularly focused on Cazador and Ascension (even if it's partly also because of an unexpectedly intense desire to protect her), and his stunted emotional growth that makes him much too impulsive and obtuse for an elf his age (and her +16 deception, and lbr, she's stomping her feelings down like they're so many grapes, and baby she's making wine) making him practically blind to her struggle. (Like. She came up to him for a bit of a cuddle and maybe a "you did well, you couldn't have known, it's okay", and it ended with him screaming "PUUUURE SHIT" into her face? Yeah, after that conversation she likely scurried off to her tent, to have just the tiniest bit of a little cry, nbd, she'll just comfort herself then like she's always done.)

Plus, I like that now there's a genuine reason for him to see her spending more and more time talking to Halsin in a secluded corner of the camp, and for him to get the wrong idea by recognizing that Halsin is not only starting to develop feelings for her that go beyond sexual desire (Halsin definitely doesn't seem to have heart problems over it, I mean "Not what [I want]. Who. But all in due course.", spoken just like that? In front of the gods, and her boyfriend, and Jaheira, and everyone?), but that Halsin would, by all accounts, be a much better partner to her than Astarion himself could ever hope to be at this stage.

(I mean, it's definitely my interpretation of the dialogue, and the whole high elf/wood elf stereotype, that he doesn't like the poly option, but he still doesn't want to be the reason the PC is denied anything they want. I think that's fitting, since at this point, he's still very much in that "I have nothing to offer beyond new burdens to carry" mindset, and I just like covert angsting like that.)

And the kicker is that... he's right. Halsin would objectively be a much better partner to Iona at this stage. He has so much more to offer her, he can help her process things, he can love her freely, please her emotionally as well as physically without issues, she just...

She just doesn't want Halsin. And that's the most important aspect of this whole thing.

Yes, she's sad, frustrated, scared, genuinely just not having a good time of it, and looking for a kind of emotional support that Astarion just cannot provide her (just as he's unloading more on her than she can presently carry, which does leave him kind of emotionally unfulfilled too), but she's made her choice, and for better or worse, she's sticking to it. Because nevertheless, she does love him, specifically, as he loves her. And I definitely like how hard, but ultimately blissful it'll be for him to realize that "this is a hard time and right now neither of us can give the other the support we need" is not chased by "so we should stop pretending this is something it clearly isn't" but by "and I still love you and am choosing you on purpose, warts and all".

a little highlight from the Nautiloid last night, this uh

this thing, it.

it has her face

so she'll probably never be free from that particular nightmare, which is cool

[disheveledtranquility]

A little Eddie whump character analysis deep dive.

And defending symbrock while I'm at it and why I think movie Eddie was actually well thought out as a character and not just because "the stereotypical macho blonde asshole would not have been popular."

I'm exhausted so hopefully I didn't mess up the details too bad. Been a while since I read the comics.

Sprinkle in some of my ADHD so expect a bit of rambling. I added some gifs because I do love a picture book.

It's canon that Eddie Brock was abused by his father growing up. And the abuse was mostly emotional, lack of love, and lack of concern.

And gentle reminder that not everyone handles trauma the same, no matter which kind, and I feel like the way they wrote Eddie for the movies showcases another side to that trauma versus the comics. There's so many little details that even if it's just Tom being the amazing actor that he is portraying that side and not actually having those details written for him, it's still amazing.

Because Eddie's father was cold and emotionless after he lost his wife during childbirth. And of course Eddie tried everything to gain that love, just to be constantly subpar and never good enough for even a second glance.

After an accident involving drunk driving where Eddie hit a child, their relationship only got worse. And later in the comics, he disowns Eddie completely after he loses his job.

The movie version of Eddie is the broken version of that trauma.

He tends to shy away from situations where you'd assume he'd rush in to, like saving Mrs. Chen.

Trying to help or inquiring when he notices Maria missing. Anything that involves complex emotions. He's a reporter, yes, and he's cordial when he needs to be, but he seems to stick to his job and otherwise keep to himself. They don't exactly show that he has any friends, just Anne. So he's probably introverted because of the years of abuse and having to feel like he has to do everything alone with little to no strings attached.

Even simple things like getting into Anne's emails can be misunderstood. It's not malicious, but more misguided. He loved Anne. He didn't do what he did with intent to get her in trouble. But his poor decision making is probably also a part of not actually being raised and not knowing how to handle certain situations such as actually talking to your partner before you do things on your own? So much could have been avoided. And Eddie had good intentions of getting rid of Carlton Drake, but ruined his own life and Anne's as well because he didn't think things through.

He can't handle his emotions well (might also tie into the noises issue he seems to have that are not related to Venom, a possible trigger for him).

He has a lot of nervous ticks that also tie in with someone growing up in an abusive household. Emotionally stunted ticks. Like holding eye contact when someone he cares about is upset with him and he doesn't know how to fix it (because everything he does is wrong).

Even something you might think is simple, like apologizing, have had negative consequences as a child and might be why even though he's no longer in that situation, his brain isn't used to connecting any good emotions between them. He's probably not used to apologizing sincerely because doing so never meant it would change the outcome.

His mannerisms get worse when he's particularly anxious, like when he might have thought Venom didn't want to come back just as Anne when she left and never wanted to come back.

Again, because he pushed them away, just like Anne. Again, because he messed it up. And again, because he didn't know how he was supposed to fix it.

Because Eddie cares so much even though his head is always such a mess. Makes me think his dad had a say or two about Eddie constantly groveling for his attention and the way it might have made him seem weak, and Eddie in turn stopped himself from letting himself be so open and able to talk about these issues because of it.

His inability to form and/or hold any kind of positive relationship is a good telling sign.

He grew up vying for love without success. He doesn't know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look or feel like long term, even though he tries.

He probably just looks for some level on comfortable routine in his day to day with someone, assumes that's the best he's going to get, and hopes for the best. Any change and it throws him completely off center. He's not used to communicating in a relationship when he grew up talking to a wall.

Also why I think he handles being with Venom so badly. It's not the eating heads and it's not the whole 'alien living in my body' ordeal.

If something isn't obviously positive it feels negative to him in his mind, which makes everything worse. He's selfish in needing to keep his mental state positive. It no doubt contributed to his alcoholism.

He became a people pleaser. Not in the way of gaining attention, but because he's constantly trying to avoid any negative sentiments directed his way. He's already damaged. He doesn't want to have to feel worse.

Eddie is in constant fight or flight with Venom without knowing what the symbiote will do next and how he, Eddie, will be perceived. He becomes very anxious, and later, angry. He's always walking on eggshells.

But the relationship is different with the symbiote than it is with Anne. Even if Eddie doesn't explicitly say it, he feels safe with Venom. More able to let that rage out that he couldn't before. And because he doesn't feel like the symbiote is going to actually hurt him, when his stress gets to him he tends to lash out at it. It's a lovely little cycle of abuse and Eddie really needs therapy.

Venom didn't fully understand the layers of Eddie's traumatized mind yet in LTBC, which is why I think it lashed out as well. Like Anne had with Eddie. Again, it's different though. Venom understands enough to see through that mess and see that Eddie doesn't mean anything with what he says.

It never does damage with malicious intent to Eddie, comedic acts aside. Not even with the fight between them in LTBC. It breaks Eddie's nose twice just to heal it immediately twice, and doesn't leave him with any lasting damage at all.

Because it cares about Eddie. And because it was never meant to harbor emotions, it's probably going through the damn gambit having to feel everything through Eddie and feeling just as hurt by him.

This is also why I think Eddie is constantly complaining in TLD. He's again in constant fight or flight and too comfortable with Venom, so he's just lashing out. But you can tell the symbiote takes none of it to heart, sometimes even seeming to ignore his remarks completely.

Maybe after a year with Eddie it finally understands the pain underneath all that stunted emotion, anxiety, and anger. That, and Eddie no longer drinks his negative emotions away, which means he has less ways to calm himself when he gets too stressed.

Through everything, Venom is the only one who has the ability to see the issues that are deeper. It stayed through all that mess and decided that what was under the baggage was worth holding on to, without Eddie having to try and explain why he is the way that he is.

[velvet-vox]

Notes of my final Murder Drones rewatch before ep 8

(These thoughts are uncollected and unrevised, proceed with lowered expectations)

Originally, I was about to make a three-part long post before episode eight comes out.

In the first part I would have analysed Cyn's character and showcased her possible depth and ties to N's character arc.

Then in the second part I compared the Doll, Cyn and J trio to Uzi, N and V, showing the parallels between each member of their respective squad, which would then lead to the final part.

Part 3 is my defacto theory on how certain elements of episode 8 would have played out, with J as a main focus in it, due to her being the V parallel, but then, as the day passed, I realised something:

I'm an analyst, not a theorist, and while it could be fun to make a theory on episode 8 to see how right and wrong I was in retrospect, it's not an activity that I'm particularly fond of, plus, while my opinions on Cyn have changed with time (I'm going to get there), the reason why I kind of like her now completely hinges upon head canons that hopefully are going to be confirmed, because otherwise, my opinion on the character could get even worse than what it once was.

One of the main reasons as to why I wanted to realise this project was to see if I could get invested into Cyn in the same way I got more invested into Rebecca with the analysis I've made on her, but why bother doing that when I'm sure episode 8 is (hopefully) going to fill me in on her character?

I'm not finding the time nor willpower that I wished that I had to complete any projects lately, and due to my constant need for perfectionism (need that it's being deliberately ignored in the writing of this post), I just keep shooting myself in the feet.

Anyway, let's just skip the intro and directly segway to the important stuff:

Uzi:

Uzi is a complicated character for me. She was my favourite character in the Pilot and dropped down massively after that, and I never understood why: I came up with a bunch of explanations for myself, such as "her development isn't engaging" and "she doesn't get challenged in interesting ways that isn't just plain torture" and "she's the most enigmatic character in the show, her actions don't make any sense to me", and I was particularly sure of that last one, not in the sense that Uzi was evil all along, but in the sense that Uzi was being written as a twist villain in the same way Goultard from Wakfu had been coded as such before the third season of that series revealed us why;

But this last rewatch finally made me understand what my problem with her was.

Aside from the rushed development, which is something the entire series struggles with, I've realised that there's an extremely subtle layer of complexity to pilot Uzi that her show's self lacks: see, despite Uzi acting like a gremlin at various points in the pilot, one thing that really surprised me about how Uzi was initially characterised is that, aside from her moments of emotional impulsivity, Uzi... is actually relatively chill?

The best way I could describe it is that serie's Uzi to me is a child to take care of; I would act nice, kind, patient to ep 1 through 7 Uzi just to get on her good side so that she wouldn't bother me as much as she bothers her peers, hopefully helping her grow up as an individual and stop acting so horribly, and help her find someone else who appreciates her for who she is, so that I wouldn't have to deal with her any longer, while pilot Uzi is someone I would genuinely like to spend time with as she's secretly a pretty chill gal, even if I would still be afraid of her, just like the rest of her classmates.

The pilot makes it extremely clear that Uzi's angsty teen persona is just that: a facade. It's not the real her. This added a layer of intrigue to Uzi in the pilot, where it felt like there was so much more to her than what we were shown at first;

But nope. The rest of the show comes out and Uzi is just that: a wild, emotionally unstable teenage gremlin-girl, who isn't even at the centre of the story despite all of the screen time that she has.

I always thought that Liam didn't want me to sympathise with Uzi, as I thought his modus operandi was "Make the character interesting, don't make them sympathetic" but as the show went along and it fell down even further into a classical good versus evil plotline (something that requires is own post), it kind of became harder to shrug off how genuinely unlikable she is to me. I like N a lot, and I kinda like V whenever her fans are nowhere to be seen, but I don't really sympathise with either of them, I just find them to be engaging.

I like the Murder Drones cast because they are interesting characters, not because they are good people. Yet, from the way Uzi is written, it feels like I'm supposed to consider her the hero, when in reality, she feels more like an unwilling plumber forced to take out the clog (Absolute Solver) unwillingly.

(Also Doll is a much better foil to Pilot Uzi than she is to canon show Uzi, but that's a discussion for another time)

But that's enough of that. Let's talk about the episodes:

Episode 1 through 3:

I plan to do an in-depth ranking of all 8 episodes of Murder Drones once the ending comes out, so consider these my rapid fire opinions on each and every single one of them.

The pilot is the best aged episode of Murder Drones to me even if a lot of its elements have been decanonised, and it could as well end up becoming my favourite episode of the show when it's all said and done.

Episode 2 is as weak as ever, but one thing that always bothered me about this episode is the ending where Uzi just decides to go back into the colony with Khan.

Now, it's no secret that Murder Drone's everything is extremely rushed, but for most of its runtime, this episode gave me the impression that Murder Drones was going to be a slow burn, long running mystery series, only for the ending to come along and leave me dumbfounded by what the pacing of the show was going to turn into.

Heartbeat is also the only episode where my opinion hasn't changed since first watching it. I thought it was mid at first, and I still consider it to be so.

My thoughts on it are a little bit more complicated than that, but I'm reserving them for the future.

You can slice it however you want, but episode 3 has aged HORRIBLY, it's not even in my top 5 best episodes anymore, and yes, it's exactly because of the focus character of this episode turning out the way she did in episode 7.

Say whatever you want, but to me, the third episode is not an Uzi episode, it's not an N episode, it's barely a V and Lizzy episode and partially a Nuzi episode, and it's certainly not a Khan episode.

For the most part, The Promening is a Doll episode; she's the character the episode is wasting most of its runtime on, introducing her, her parents, making her a mysterious threat; in comparison, the Nuzi and V stuff is mostly secondary, and could have definitely been developed further if the episode didn't have someone else as it's main focus.

Doll:

I never wanted Doll to survive the season; I never wanted her to live, I never wanted her to die, I never wanted her to be redeemed, nor did I want her to stay evil till the end; all I ever wanted, was for Doll to be well-written, and as it stands, I don't think Doll does enough or is explored sufficiently as a character to justify her relevance or existence, especially since a lot of other characters could benefit from some extra screen time, and while a lot of people might think that just bringing her back to life would fix some of her problems, I don't think they really understand all of the underlying issues that come with such a choice:

If Doll were ever to come back, she for sure would get a redemption arc, because what else is there to do? She lost all of her screen presence, she's no longer even remotely threatening, her story is so divorced from our current one to be straight up disposable, a lot of people see her as just a joke after the seventh episode, and in general, she's no longer a credible villain to see on screen.

And yet, I don't think a redemption arc would work for Doll at this point. Her character wasn't built up enough aside from being mysterious for the sake of it, I don't think a redemption arc would work, because it would require too much time for it to work, and time is the one thing Murder Drones always lacked, what makes you think a second season, let alone one episode would even fix?

I'm pretty pessimistic about episode 8, unless it's all one giant ruse and there is, in fact, a second season. The math just doesn't add up, episode 8 can't possibly be a satisfying conclusion or an unsatisfying conclusion done right, I fear it will be one giant clusterf##k.

Cabin Fever, Intermission, and Home:

Episode 4 is about as good as I remember it to be, and aside from noticing a couple of new details useful for my analyses, I don't have much to say about it.

I got the chance to watch @ghoulinfuschia 's Murder Drones Intermission together with the other episodes this time around, so now I finally have the chance to praise it a little bit.

Murder Drones Intermission is a fan made episode of Murder Drones set between episode four and five, made entirely by a crew of fans.

It's an amazing product for what it's worth and by how it was made, and while it's not perfect and I consider it far from possibly being canon, it does fill in nicely into the show's timeline, and improves a lot on some of the weakest story beats of the series. It was definitely a nice break from me while rewatching all of the episodes, and I recommend it wholeheartedly to anyone who wants to check it out.

It's pretty ironic how episode 7 retroactively managed to worsen episode 3 and improve episode 5, but that's genuinely how I feel about Home now:

I'm about to be real with you, Tessa being dead all along was the only tid bit of major character's death that wasn't wasted, as now that I know why Tessa's wasn't the episode's protagonist, I'm much more accepting of the way in which episode 5 played out; it's clear that Liam never wanted us to get attached to Tessa beyond any simple "she's a nice, abused, teenage girl that treats N nicely" type of feeling, also the tradeoff for her death and humanity apparent extinction was well worth it in my opinion, which is something I can't say for V or... her.

But now it's finally time to talk about the actual main character of this episode:

Cyn:

I'm about to say something that I've never thought I would end up saying for real:

Did you know, that Cyn, is an actually interesting character in her own right?

I never did.

Quite frankly, I kind of heavily hated Cyn up until some time ago.

To me, at the start, Cyn was just a cool visual threat that would have hopefully been fleshed out in the future, but then, not only is she still remaining just a one note villain at this point of the show's runtime (aka the "finale"), but she also ended up killing a far more nuanced and slightly more fleshed out antagonist, while also not really doing anything to fulfill the compelling character void left by the aforementioned character.

Hot take: the fandom's portrayal of Cyn as this unbelievably silly creature of pure autism ruined her character, as well as the general discourse surrounding her.

To me, mass murderers should only be blorbified once their first major focus arc in a story has been concluded. It's why I'm fine with the blorbification of characters such as Qilby and William Afton, and I'm not with Cyn.

The thing about blorbifying is that, you are actively distorting canon for your weird fantasies, which is something that I'm fine with, but only once said characters have received their narrative catharsis.

I don't really view Cyn as a serious or heinous threat at this point in time, and that's all due to how much the fanbase ended up babyfying her to no end, giving her the Jax treatment with the main difference being that Jax has had is funny blorbo illusion already shattered, while Cyn still has it at this point in the show's runtime where she should be at her most evil and intimidating yet.

But that's enough of that; as I've already stated, now that we know that adult Tessa was Cyn all along... Cyn has just become such an interesting character to me, not for the mystery and creepiness surrounding her, but for the ways in which she could end up paralleling N.

... If that's actually what's going to happen.

It all hinges upon Cyn actually being worth the hype and the rushed developments, because otherwise, she could go from being my third favourite character to my absolute least favourite.

Episode 6 and 7:

I appreciate the Jurassic Park section of this episode for being a break from everything going on and for setting up the plot twist in the following episode.

Although her section bores me a little bit, I'm just gonna come out and say it: Alice is in my opinion the best humanoid antagonist in the entirety of Murder Drones, and unless that changes in episode 8 (which I doubt, sorry Cyn but I don't have a lot of faith in you), I'll make an entire post dedicated to her detailing why that's the case.

As for who or what I think is the overall best antagonist of the show...

It's the Sentinels, and it's not even close.

I'm still as emotionless as ever when it comes to V's demise. I believe it was stupid, but there are more passionate V fans to talk about it.

And last but not least, I can finally agree with what everyone else has said: Mass Destruction is the best episode of Murder Drones, and for me, it's all due to how genuinely funny it is.

I've become pretty apathetic to Murder Drone's horror elements due to how excessively prevalent and misused they are throughout the course of the series, so now the comedy actually hits harder, and this episode is extremely funny and comedic, even Doll's death is now hilarious to me, even if for other reasons, and the pacing finally feels appropriate now that the show has completely given up being a mystery adventure and fully embraced the end of the world battle shenanigans.

The episode did feel too fast paced when I first saw it at release, but it was mostly because of how slow the previous episodes were, now after a while the pacing finally feels normal, even if the episode is just bombarding me with lore left and right.

Ah.

.

.....

We're doomed.

[zyafics]

Hiiiii! What do you think about Kiiara and Rafe dynamic? I don’t think that they should be romantic at all, but I do think they have a very complex and interesting relationship and I wish we would’ve seen that more this season. I agree with y him telling Kiara that’s he’s a killer was such a dramatic shift. That could’ve been a very emotionally weighted scene and they missed a mark with that.. I don’t know if the writers were intentionally doing this but him admitting to her should’ve been more pointed. I think she’s really the only one in the group that has ever seen him show some type of remorse. Kiara is such a morally strong character. She’s willing to risk her life for literally anyone, even those who done her wrong . Where is Rafe does the same thing in a way but for his dad? he also thinks throughout the season that he’s doing the right thing or at least trying to. What do you think?

here's the thing, i think the pates are planting the seeds for riara. and as much as we don't like it, that doesn't stop the fact that there's a bunch of riara shippers on twt that are vocal and PROUD, and i'm almost certain the pates had to see SOME of their tweets at some point.

i haven't watched the season, but i can't help but think of two specific scenes in pt2 that is evidence for my hypothesis. which is, kie was the one who got the knife and cut rafe out, and kie told rafe not to go out there because he'll get killed and he said "he's a killer too," he's admitting intimate details to kie that sofia doesn't even access to. remember the proposal? remember when she tried to tell him about the hollis deal, and he said he's done worse but he never went into details. why is it KIE that gets rafe's first on-screen admission of guilt? that must've been such an awakening to him and he professes to some stranger? absolutely not. it should've been sarah, but since it's not, i fear it's setting up a romantic link.

i think kiara and rafe had a very interesting dynamic simply because he sees her as both a kook and pogue, and he refers to her with a sense of familiarity that she doesn't outright hate. however, there's a large gap in maturity and age, and i don't think it would work with what happened in s4. kie is grieving, and i hate the fact that they're trying to pair people together just to find an ending. kie should be alone and figuring it out! she has her friends and a support system for that.

lastly, i agree that kie is a morally strong character. she has a strong sense of empathy that guides her decision and she has a strong sense of justice too. so despite rafe having tried to kill her, and everything he's done (esp in s3) she still doesn't seem okay with the idea of him sacrificing himself or dying regardless of that.

rafe is more.. mature, but he had his slips of psychopathy in this season (which i love). he isn't completely changed, and i don't want the narrative to shove down our throats that he has. i doubt he would've gotten cleaned of cocaine by himself, i doubt that he's receiving therapy. he can't be this level-headed, and in the moments that he isn't—it shows the rafe that we all know from all the previous seasons. i like a gradual built of rafe demonstrating his slow changes. where he is piecing together what is right and wrong. where he's trying to find a moral balance of what he wants and what is right. but i still want him to hold onto that characteristic that made him him—his ruthlessness where he goes from A -> B with little regards on the steps that made him there. he called himself proactive? i truly believe that. he's so simple-minded, that he doesn't think of long-term consequences but rather how does he get something done the quickest, fastest way. i want that to be challenged with his growing emotional maturity.

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

Something about Izuku I keep thinking about is how much he's a downright hypocrite and the only reason he isn't called out on it is because he's one for himself and not for others and at the core of it all it boils down to his pending childhood issues and the *vaguely gestures* "relationship" he and Katsuki have- I mean, just out of the top of my head:

Wants to be a strong and dependable hero but is at his weakest when he's alone.

Says to Himiko he would never hurt someone he loves but was the reason Katsuki was forced to dance with death until his own sacrifice. Hell, I'm expecting him to actually accidentally hurt Katsuki (Physically? Emotionally? You decide) next time they talk.

Wants to save people with a smile but barely cracked genuine ones during his battle with Tenko- I can think of two(?), and even then those felt more like a resignation (379 and 412 iirc) than actual smiles.

Being aware Kacchan's a jackass, fine, but the entire "Imitate the people you love/admire" themes, having an attitude when heated or absolutely Done with anyone's BS (makes sense for someone who grew up besides a kid in the Inferiority-Superiority Complex but still) and "This is a battle between All For One and One For All, you can't keep up" is still very much pot calling the kettle black (it's because his "arrogance" is rooted in selflessness and desire to be useful but that's for another day)

Deadass called All For One out for being a lonely man pretending to be a "Demon Lord" yet will not admit he himself thinks a he's just a lonely kid pretending to be a hero; and by the time he seemed to be growing out of it: Paranormal Liberation Front.

"IT'S YOUR POWER, ISN'T IT?!" Cool, nice of him to comfort Shoto and try the same with Touya, now if only he could do the same in regards to himself and OFA-

Wasn't able to connect with Tenko at all and that's why he failed but it's wild to me he'd still the one who even at surface level could relate to):

Spinner, because they're nerds who were ostracized based on Quirks/lack thereof looking for a purpose and were unable to help him because of AFO's interference;

Himiko, because they want to be like others (because they hate themselves at least a little bit) but also show love in a way others wouldn't accept and;

Touya, because they wanted to prove they could be useful to others and be heroes to the point of actively harmed themselves while using their own Quirk.

Hell, when you think about it he related to the crying child but he could've used Literally Anything from his relationship with Katsuki to try and reach Tenko, but of course he didn't, that means he'd have to think about his own issues and yet he saw Tenko's issues no wonder he didn't get the job done-

Also can we talk about him saying he relates to Ochako confronting Himiko but she actually succeeded- Or even Shoto wanting to forgive Endeavor; I keep recalling both Ch. 322 him saying he won't forgive Tenko for anything he did (understandable but still) and Tenko going "And I won't forgive anyone". Connecting these three instances are huge stretches, I know, but really, he hasn't addressed the apology he got- combined narrative punishments for empty platitudes.

Kept saying he needed to improve in his control with OFA: had to get beaten up during his internship and in the Summer Camp for that lesson to stick... Then he heard the words "Control Your Heart" and decided to Not Address It At All.

Supposed to surpass but he's really All Might's successor in every way that counts: Smile so nobody will worry, keep fighting even though you are destroying yourself, be so selfless you'll make your friends desperate enough to make you stop for your own good, hide every single thing you can about yourself, the only difference is in the bed they made: Toshinori lies in omission most of the time, and Izuku thinks he lies in white when almost every other character's in the dark, but as long as there's a dream of bright smiles in the future, who cares they're now forcefully entangled in this nightmare, right?

And these are just the examples I can think of the top of my head, there might be more, but. No wonder we've been "panicking" (let's be real his therapist already scheduled him for Ground Beta atp-) Shoto and Ochako brushed him off by accident in Chapter 425, it's the consequences of his hypocritical ass coming back to bite him-

(I am not hating on him, by the way, it's just something about him I wanted to point out. I like that aspect of his. Makes him more human. But jeez can someone call him out and make him practice what he preaches? XD)

[science-lings]

Elaborations under the cut

1- based off of the official art where half the time he's drinking he's just passed out or he's just smiling at nothing. I can see him becoming a functioning alcoholic who drinks mostly because it helps him sleep but I don't think he would want to be that vulnerable in his daily life, especially when hanging out with Kristoph.

2- He was just as spikey as a baby, but also the style seems intentional rather than just how it grows.

3- PW vs PL reference? idk the vibe that in an alternate timeline where he forgets that he's a lawyer he becomes a baker with Maya is just fun so I think he just likes baking in general. Also, I'm a sucker for those AUs where he's a baker. He seems like the type to get stuck in his head while kneading bread dough and regularly makes those kinds of breads that have to basically be beat up to get his anger out. No therapy, only bread.

4- This feels self-explanatory, he can also dance, at least in the way that he can pick up choreography and bullshit his way through any performance. I also think it would be sweet if he sang lullabies to Trucy while she was growing up.

5- There are multiple instances where he passes out from stress and his internal dialogue mentions that he's 'feeling lightheaded' like GIRL... GO TO THE DOCTOR. And he did but that meant that he can't drive in case he gets too stressed driving and passes out... which would not be good.

6- Again, self-explanatory, this man has an abnormal brain, good for him.

7- I don't exactly know what he has tattooed on him but I can see this guy, who is unaffected by pain and also an art major, having a few designs on him. Maybe a dragon winding around his shoulder or a few little silly things on his legs and arms. He doesn't really flaunt them and everyone gets surprised when its the combined prosecutors office and WAA beach day.

8- The magatama should make him look a little spooky, I think it would be fun. Also, I think he should use it to jumpscare anyone who is around while he is sneaking into his kitchen to eat baby carrots when he wants a midnight snack.

9- I've spoken about this before and I will probably do so again, I just think he needs an awful cat as a pet project when Trucy moves out and he gets lonely. It's a better outlet than trying to fix a person who might fake their death or try to poison him.

10- You cannot tell me that undefeated poker player extraordinaire isn't completely in control of his tells as much as he possibly can be. He can dodge questions and provide perfectly true but vague answers. I just think he can be so incredibly cagey and secretive when he has to be, even though he's typically pretty emotionally open. He learned it from Mia (Ms. 'didn't tell Phoenix she had a sister even though they've known each other for years' Fey)

[cornertheculprit]

Different anon but I do agree. This is my observation with how the fandom treats Feenie. He's either this magical empathic saint who can read everyone and is super understanding and patient (especially with Edgey) or he's this horrible arrogant asshole after AA4-6 and a shit parent (which ok he's parenting skills are up for debate but the worst I just saw was someone claiming that he relied too much on Trucy emotionally that was almost 'emotional incest') although the latter isn't as prominent as the former, It really speaks volumes that people can't understand his character as much. He's so much more interesting in the game and I like how complex and messy he is as a character. He's snarky, he hides so much of himself so casually, and he can hold grudges and so on and I like that a lot.

okay i thought you were referring to "feenie" as the fandom knows him (i.e. turnabout memories phoenix) and i was going to be like YEAH LOL HE WAS KIND OF AN ASSHOLE ("Yeah, it was a plastic umbrella. Cheap and frail, kind of like the owner!" phoenix the man who tried to warn you about dahlia was just murdered and you are the suspect you are NOT helping your own case here) but then i realized you were just using feenie as a nickname for phoenix lol but i digress. yeahhh he does tend to be portrayed in one of those two ways and it's hard to find an in-between sometimes. when it comes to trucy i've talked about it before and i can't find the post but i really do think for years she and phoenix were more like how he and pearl and maya are (again. he even suggests at first that she call him nick like they do), or like. sibling-ish with a Really big age gap before it finally transitioned into something more father-daughter aligned. but overall the important thing is that trucy did grow up happy and healthy and loved. i think it's less that people can't understand him and more that so many headcanons are passed around in fanon (as with any other fandom) that if you don't refresh on the details by playing the game or looking at a game script for a while then those details get muddled and fanon becomes the only thing that sticks in your head. which, again, is perfectly fine for the people who just want to think about their blorbos having a good time of things, but less so for the people looking for character analyses and the like, haha. phoenix is an extremely messy protagonist and that's what makes him so fun! i think it's awesome that he's got so much nuance. and that's that, really—all you can do is make and share the content you like and ignore what you don't ^^

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen! i’ve been following you for a very long time, and i haven’t considered myself lgbt in any way (i just think you’re the coolest), but i’ve had a bit of a strange experience this year — i seemingly fell completely in love with this friend of mine, this strong and kind and beautiful woman. we’ve always had a very close and special friendship, and she’s basically everything i’ve ever wanted. like i said i’ve never felt something for another woman before, but she makes me feel really special. she makes me feel like i’ve never felt before. and it’s kind of been weighing on me, because the experience of loving her has been so much more enormously positive and joyous for me than the experience of loving any man i have in the past. and it makes me feel kind of comfortable to love her and be a woman with her. so i feel conflicted. obviously i know i don’t have to (or can’t?) redefine my whole identity because of this one experience, but it feels so special and different and right

Hi. I know our culture ( including the LGBT+ culture) pushes this notion that we must pick one and go crazy with it. Get the tattoos, hang up a flag, wear all the shirts. It seems everyone if very keen on making sure everyone has a tight grasp on their sexuality and must them immediately and head first dive into whatever they perceive as that "community".

The real facts are, humans are complex but in a world less full of constant information about sexuality and attraction and whatever other kind of boxes people seem to NEED us to fit perfectly in, sexuality would be simple. We would grow, learn, experience things and eventually understand what fulfills us and who we are truly sexually and emotionally able to bond with in a meaningful way.

Some of us figure it out early. Perhaps we can push aside the noise or we had good role models who gave us space to explore while setting healthy examples. Some of us just need experience and time. Others go through life not really caring to name their sexuality beyond the moment or relationships they are currently experiencing.

Being a lesbian I can't speak for or understand bisexuality except knowing that I have a firm sexuality and know understand who I am attracted to and why. So my best guess is any sexuality is like that, straight, bi, gay etc. It takes time and life experience to figure things out and bisexuality is often sort of either placed as a blanket on people as in "all people are a little bisexual"--(They ARE NOT) or " if you are bisexual you are probably just gay". Both bullshit information that is out there more than it deserves to be. SO hearing those things women who meet another woman who piques her interest think "I am straight, it is just this one time and it probably isn't real" OR " was i wrong all these years about men and I am really a lesbian". Being bisexual is lovely and powerful because you get to explore both sides of the human experience in a meaningful way.Being attracted to men and women should be celebrated as a unique way of experiencing the world.

Bisexuality is a real thing, Even if it is one special woman that wakes up that feeling and it never happens beyond that, enjoy that emotion and connection. You can decide if you would like to be "out" or not on either side of that relationship. It is up to you.

I hear later in life lesbians say similar things to what you say and there is a push in our society to be straight because that is the default, the majority of people are straight. It is up to you if you want to weigh the connection you have had to men and how you feel about this woman and decide if you past relationships were more based on what you though you were supposed to be doing and less informed by your true attraction and needs. In retrospect you might realize that all along your "attraction" to men was superficial, a duty or role you thought you had. It is okay to explore that. Don't worry to much about either label and it is okay to be wrong.

I believe it is not our sexuality is not what changes but, with time and experiences, our understanding of it does.

[rahleeyah]

So I read a lot of fic lol and one of the things I find so funny is that authors either write that Liv still can’t cook a thing and still gets takeout for everything or they’ll say she had to learn for Noah’s sake and now she’s actually a decent cook. (And as someone who now lives alone and had to grow up and figure some shit out and has actually gotten pretty good at cooking now if I do say so myself it really isn’t that hard so I’m usually team liv figured out how to use her kitchen for Noah’s sake)

Anyways I always have this head canon (that I’ve never wrote out but maybe I should) that when liv got Noah she got a phone call from Nick’s abuelita who was like “my Nicky tells me you have a baby and you cannot cook anything” 😂 and then Liv goes to her house and learns how to cook. And probably Barba’s mom and Mrs. Carisi teach her some things too cuz I want to believe they shared more time together than could be shown on screen.

Anyways I’m thinking about this mainly because there’s been some fics from Mrs. McCann’s POV and obvs she’s an excellent cook. And that’s not to say liv doesn’t get takeout often I’m sure she still does but I mean she’s also an adult with a child I’m sure she learned how to make some meals😂

You mention food a lot regarding svu and how it was nice in 1.0 when the characters sat down to meals together and how it made them very human which I totally agree with so I was wondering if u had any thoughts?

Have a great day!! Happy L&O Thursday!! ❤️

I love this so much thank you friend!!

So the thing is like. 1.0 Liv doesn't ever cook, it's established there's no food in her fridge, she's always getting delivery. There's a scene early in s13-14 where she is actively trying to cook at home when Nick brings her bad news and she throws her half cooked dinner in the sink, as if she no longer has the strength to keep trying (or as if she no longer thinks she deserves it, but that's another post). By s15 she is throwing dinner parties, of the manic kind (@calliopecantaloupes being of course the expert on the trauma response dinner parties). When Noah is going thru his particularly unbearable phase we see Olivia actually making dinner for him and trying to get him to eat his vegetables.

So my theory is that Liv always knew how to cook in theory, but never spent the time on it in practice. When you're just cooking for one delivery is so fucking easy, and she's barely ever home, why bother? I live alone and I love to cook and I'm pretty good at it and I know a lot about it and I cook once a week on Sundays and heat up leftovers or order in every other night of the week. It's not lack of knowledge that held her back, it was lack of need. She just didn't have to.

Now we know Cassidy cooks, at least a little, and cooking with someone is a special kind of intimacy, and I like to think he taught her some recipes. But then he's gone. But then she has a baby.

And Olivia is devoted to being a Good Mom. She sings to Noah she's working with him on his speech she's buying him all the little toys and outfits and trying so fucking hard. I absolutely think Liv started to cook more - not learn to, bc she already knew how, but started to actually do it - bc she had a child and feeding her child is important emotionally and practically.

But she took the boy to get shake shack this season, she is not above a return to her old ways lol

But I love your thought bc I love the idea of all these older women who are tangentially connected to Liv - Nick's mom even looks after Noah! - taking her under their wing and I love the idea of Noah growing up in this rich and varied quasi family with influences from multiple cultures/traditions, not being any one thing but being deeply loved.

But I do think Elliot can't really cook (beyond one or two set meals like spaghetti or whatever) and if I see one more fic that treats cacio e pepe like it's a fancy complex dish that Elliot "learned" how to cook while he was in Italy I am going to start biting people

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I've Read So Far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

82. Lost in Time by A.G. Riddle--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I remember randomly coming across this book while at work and I'll admit, it was the cover that pulled me in, the synopsis was just a great bonus.

One of the things I loved about this book, other than the speculative edge, was the amount of twists this had. I always thought I knew where it was heading, but there was always a twist to counter any theories I had. There was so much potential in this world where time travel existed and I'll be honest, it felt like the author took that to its full potential. This was fun, adventurous, sometimes a little terrifying, and a whole lot of addicting. It's such a clever novel and I really want to read Riddle's other books to see if he uses this same level of intrigue in his other works.

LOST IN TIME also made me think of some of my favourites, and I think that definitely added to my enjoyment of this novel. On one hand, it gave me similar vibes as DARK MATTER by Blake Crouch, and on the other, it made me think a bit of Stephen King's 11/22/63. It's one of those books that you encounter only a few times and end up trying to re-experience for the first time whenever you pick up new sci-fi speculative fiction novels.

The main reason why I'm not giving this full stars is because while beneficial to the story, the back and forth kind of interrupted certain aspects and moods of the novel. I would be really into a scene and then boom, new chapter set in a different place and time. I wanted more of one place than the other and feel like the story would have benefitted from further exploration of the place one of the MCs goes to during the first half of the novel.

All of that being said, however, I really and truly enjoyed this book. I want to read more from this author!

___

83. Vampire Breath by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️

I wasn't the biggest fan of this one. It was probably one of my least favourite GOOSEBUMPS books, but that ending was very on brand, so as cheesy as it was, I enjoyed it!

I can see why this would be a fun one, though, if I was younger. I know I'm not the audience for this and usually I'm able to separate my age from these stories, but this one was not...an enjoyable one for me. It was kind of forgettable, to be honest.

Anyway, onto the next GOOSEBUMPS!

___

84. I Am Number 4 by Pittacus Lore--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-Read May 2023:

I don't know why, but I was wanting to re-read this book and maybe read the rest of the series. I remember really enjoying this and I won't lie, I totally still enjoyed this. There were a lot of things I forgot about, but I especially enjoyed (read: eye twitched through) the scenes where the mc was like "I'm an adult!" while being a 16 year old putting himself and his pseudo-father in danger.

This may not be a perfect book, but this is a great example of how much teenagers want to be grown. I remember being that age and thinking I knew everything. That invincibility complex hit hard here and being able to see it from this perspective nearly ten years later is very eye opening.

I'm excited to read the rest of this series to see how he grows!

___

85. The Melancholy of Summer by Louisa Onomé--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy via the publisher because I was the panel host for an event with the author. This did not affect my review at all.

THE MELANCHOLY OF SUMMER was such an emotionally explosive read that it took me a couple of tries to finally allow myself to fall fully into the Onomé's writing.

Set in the beautifully described City of Toronto, we follow Summer, the MC, as she tries to survive and find the freedom she is so desperately seeking in a city that is actively hunting for her criminal parents.

The author did a fantastic job of showcasing how difficult it is to both acknowledge and deal with emotions at such a young age, especially as a young woman of colour. I think how the author treats this topic may resonate with readers because we're taught to control our emotions, or to "be strong" in the face of adversity, but as Summer grows and finally starts to process her trauma, we see that feeling those emotions can also be incredibly therapeutic.

Summer's relationship with her cousin, Olu, could also be seen as an incredibly healing one because they both have trauma to work through. I loved that Olu was this incredible support system that Summer didn't know she had. Watching Summer thaw towards her cousin was such a beautiful moment, especially after the heartbreaking climax of the story.

I highly recommend this book for those who want characters who have to deal with complex emotions, depictions of travel through Toronto, and Japanese Pop Stars.

___

86. Sigh, Gone by Phuc Tran--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of the great disservices I did to myself was starting the audiobook for this amazing memoir when I was on the cusp of a reading slump. I read about 40% of this book and then kept putting it off, until I told myself it was time to either DNF it or keep going.

I'm so glad I kept going!

And that is where the star is lost (if I had been in a better head space to read this, maybe it would have been a five star read, but alas.) But even though this doesn't get a perfect rating from me, I really and truly enjoyed this memoir.

I enjoyed reading about Tran's experiences in high school as he came into his own and eventually found his footing in his life. His writing pulled me in and I could see him experiencing so many things that made his life all that more fascinating, if not a incredibly heartbreaking thanks to his complicated and abusive relationship with his father and the racist and discriminatory relationship he had with the people and society around him while growing up.

Tran did a great job of not only sharing how music formed who he is today, but also how his understanding of the space he inhabits in this world is one that will always challenge the people around him who want him to stay "where he belongs". There was a particular scene where he is riding high on his successes, but a racist punches him down. It's a sad situation that can be seen even in today's society, especially social media.

One of the reasons why I also really enjoy memoirs like this is because of the immigrant experience, and the tokenism of living as a person who physically looks different and comes from a different place than the people around you. In these recollections, I can see the younger me trying to survive the halls of schools full of people who don't look like me, speaking two languages when everyone else normalizes using one. And speaking of languages: what happens to Tran in this with his first language was one of the great fears of my parents--but it is also a literal representation of how some immigrant families want their children to be a part of their new and "better" society so much, that something like a language is an okay sacrifice.

I've been lucky that most of the immigrant memoirs and autobiographies I've read have been so poignant and incredible. I'm very happy to add SIGH, GONE to that list of memoirs that I will happily recommend to my customers!

___

87. The Lie Maker by Linwood Barclay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

While this isn't my first Linwood Barclay book, it's the first one I've read in a long time. I had forgotten how twisty and complex his mysteries and thrillers could get. I won't lie, reading this made me want to read more of his backlist titles.

THE LIE MAKER was a fun and interesting read that followed a handful of characters as their lives intertwined in the most dangerous of ways. At the heart of it all was a father who made some pretty horrible choices, and a son who just wanted his father back again. While the dangers and deaths happen around them, you can't help but root for these two characters to find some sort of peace together again. It's most likely because of that heart wrenching prologue, or because the MC never gave up on his father throughout the whole book.

I did like seeing the chapters were Evil™️ was taking place because you knew something was going to happen, but you didn't know HOW it was going to happen. The twists the filled the book and the big reveal were slowly shown to us until we had an aha! moment.

I enjoyed this book for what it was. Was it a work of art, or an especially memorable read? No, but it was entertaining af and I think it'll be a great read for those wanting a thriller for their summer reading list!

___

Have you read any of these books? Let me know!

___

Happy reading!

[dirtyoldmanhole]

while waiting on a recap meeting with my boss, i am ... writing notes about what i want this 40k word slowburn gunter x femui fic to accomplish :v

(so backing up -)

writing these short ficlets is making it painfully obvious to do any kind of character study right, i gotta invest in more words here; he's too complex to distill down to one or two scenes, ditto with his dynamic with her. he's hiding too much.

(and honestly, i have always had a soft spot for those epically long slow burn age gap relationship studies; i specifically hunt them out in every fandom, and think making this for gunter fans would be one hell of a gift to this corner of the fates fandom. think pet project, which i feel like fans of a certian age and similar ship taste would recognize. there's a certian sad, poetic irony how both of these men were doomed to death by canon, and I'm vividly reminded of this quote again, mirroring my current feelings.

endurance wise, this is going to be tough - but i've written that amount of words before for past NaNos, beta'd for quite a few novels, and i think this leans enough on all of my favorite tropes i wouldn't get bored halfway through. i also plan to do companion illustrations that will help brainstorm bits as well. the fact this outline is gelling together phenomenally well to the point i already have most of the scenes summarized and falling into place speaks well.)

but back to what i would like this fic to focus on:

can he and kamui have a loving but realistic relationship while he's being tempted by anankos? (think, if they had the Conquest C-S supports in Revelations) if she's around him more, does that reduce anankos' hold on his hatreds? is that enough to change the endgame?

how do they navigate hooking up through the campaign in "closet mode" with all the eyes on them? how do they handle the nohr royalty finding out? (since i feel like hoshido royalty cares less). who reacts badly, who doesn't? who's squicked out by the class differences? (age difference/psuedo-incest too, but given the slight realisim bent, it feels like they'd be more fussed about the former). despite the heaviness, i feel like this is prime territory for some genuinely endearing characterization moments.

can kamui grow past her childhood crush on him and mature into seeing him in a different light? (in turn, can he too, also see her as somebody more nuanced than a princess to be used or simply a mentee to teach bitterly? can he have the bravery to reach out through his loneliness, and bare his heart and scars?) how does their romance change with the flavors over time? from pining to confession to deep physical intimacy?

bluntly, too, on that last point, how do they work around the age difference in terms of sexual mechanics and libido? how does kamui draw him out emotionally, and make him feel like a man again, rather than a ghost or a rusted weapon? how do they stumble into their white-hot sexual appetite for each other, and how do they handle the kinks and taboos that they both wrestle with? (how does gunter in particular wrestle with the guilt of his desire?)

can he and kamui come to terms with the fridge horror of the northern fortress times? can he make amends for his acts there -- if he's the head of security/her bodyguard/perfectly aware of how Garon kidnapped her, and almost executing Silas, as just a few examples. how does kamui reconcile that with her feelings for him?

and -

can i make y'all cry several times LOL

god help me, and I swear by my Muse, I am going to give this man a goddamn happy ending. he's going to have to earn it, but it will be there.

[meleanatargaryen]

The prince's hold

Aemond x Fem reader Part 3

Hello everyone this is the part 3 of the ennemies to lovers kind of "The prince's convict" that is the part 2 of "The prince's target" 👀 (everything is on my profile)

-This time Fem reader is bored, trapped in her golden prison and begs the prince to have some entertainment and go to the city but this will not really go as planned...

Warnings: incarceration, incest (uncle/niece), dacryphilia, penetration, bite, bruises, pain, degrade speech, 18+ MINORS DNI, dark, medieval-canon sexism, heavy dub-con, DD:DNE, mean Aemond, manipulation, abusing power, violence, major angst, oral sex (f and m receiving), Aemond being a possessive horny weirdo with a power complex, de spit kink, creampie... (Might forget some so please be aware).

The day after...

Just like her heart, the clouds had descended over King’s Landing, covering the sky with a thick blanket of grey.

Sometimes in her quiet moments inside his chambers, she would stare out at the outside, watching the various Lord and Ladies go about their day, wondering what their lives were like as opposed to her own.

These days, especially since Prince Aemond had taken it upon himself to torture her emotionally more regularly, frustrating her physically and emotionally, making sure she would miss him once he left after each visit. He would treat her better each day, changing the decoration green to violet, her favorite color, bringing her gifts, books, exotic fruits, cakes, delicious meals and even maids to do her hair and make up. Soon he offered her a whole wardrobe with exquises dresses and beautiful jewelries to pair them...

But this was not enough. Even tho she loved everything the prince made for her, she wanted nothing but his presence, she wanted him like this previous night.

One evening, at the prince's venue, she finally spoke to him with a softer voice, "Ameond, those gifts, it's wonderful and I loved them all but there is something. I am bored. I am about to die of boredom. Take me to the city or even the gardens, my dearest uncle,” she emphasized on the last two words, “My Prince,” she implored innocently, “Please please please!”

“Fine!” He finally declared, “But if you ever try to escape, you can forget about leaving his chamber ever again.”

“I promise I’ll behave!” She promised mischievously, her eyes twinkling with excitement, and galloped out of the oppressing chamber.

Aemond regarded her with a mix of amusement and suspicion. He was well aware of her manipulative nature and how she could use her charms to get what she wanted. Nevertheless, a small part of him couldn't resist her pleas, the way she looked up at him with those innocent eyes.

Wandering on the market of Bravoos for hours, Aemond’s hand never left the tilt of sword as he scrutinized the mass, assuring there were no Westerosi spies targeting him or his viper.

His unbearable niece, on the other hand, had much less serious matters in her head. As they strolled through the vibrant streets, she maintained her facade of naivety, pretending to be oblivious to the effect her every move had on Aemond. She skipped along, her dress swaying with each step, seemingly unaware of the gazes of admiration and desire that followed her.

She would glance back at Aemond with wide, innocent eyes, feigning confusion. "Aemond, why are people staring at us? Do I have something on my face?"

Aemond clenched his jaw, well aware of her game. He fought to conceal his growing frustration as he responded through gritted teeth, "It's nothing. Just ignore them."

The princess viper rejoiced secretly at her captor’s terribly failure of hiding his annoyance.

As they passed by a fruit vendor, her eyes gleamed mischievously. She plucked a ripe, succulent peach from the display, bringing it to her lips and taking a slow, sensual bite. The sweet juice dripped down her chin as she looked at Aemond through half-lidded eye.

"Mmm, Aemond, this peach is absolutely delicious," she murmured, her voice dripping with seduction. "Would you like a taste?" She extended the fruit towards him, her fingers glistening with its juices.

Aemond's resolve was hanging by a thread as he stared at the tantalizing sight before him. He wanted to seize the peach, to taste its sweetness and devour it along with her tempting offer.

No.

He wanted to do so much more.

He wanted to claim her lips, bite her, squeeze her, take her ruthlessly, make her scream like a common whore under broad daylight while the peasants of Bravoos watch with shock.

Clenching his fists, Aemond feigned a polite smile, “I’m good, little niece.”

She rolled her eyes as she licked her lips intentionally.

Smitten by the desirous moment, Aemond’s eye widened in horror. She was nowhere to be found.

He searched every tent of the market at no avail.

A mixture of rage, fear and vulnerability stormed in his mind.

Did he really let her little display fool him, leading to her escape?

Or worse…

Spies from his family got their hold on her.

“Have you glimpsed a maiden? Barely of age, in a white dress, hauntingly beautiful?” Aemond demanded menacingly a mid-aged trader of Pentosi silk. The woman froze in fear as she recognized the symbolic silver hair: a Targaryen.

Aemond’s worry blazed eye was covered by darkness. The shock electrified his body and his first instinct had been to cut off the hands on his eye. Yet an instant later, the worry was replaced by fury.

“Did you think I escaped, My Prince?”

Aemond turned around, rage written all over his face.

The sight before him exacerbated his storm of emotions.

Her white gown for a proper Westerosi lady gone, replaced by an exotic and tempting Dornish robe, revealing her fruitful bosom, slender shoulders and alluring curves.

“Isn’t this beautiful?” She grinned as she swirled recklessly, displaying her beguiling thighs.

With that, she bolted like a mice being chased by a ferocious cat. Did she intend to escape? Absolutely not. Her alluring laughter like a siren’s call to the dragon prince.

As she reached a glim alley, she slowed down her pace and turned to face Aemond, approaching her like a predator ready to devour its prey.

He cupped her delicious breasts, barely covered by the provocative silk, roughly, eliciting a soft whine her soft lips, “Wooh, my prince…”

Aemond grabbed the back of her delicate neck and breathed on her neck, “Are you really that eager to get fucked, hmm? Little niece?”

She tilted her head with her glimmering eyes, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Her tease almost childlike, yet her hands traced down his lean and muscular chest.

“Fuck,” he growled, his leather pants stretching at his growing bulge;

With a swift move, she wrapped her arms around him and muffled his shocked curses with her lips.

“You are annoyingly attractive, uncle,” she smirked.

Instead of responding or retorting, Aemond turned her around her pressed her on the wall in an almost brutal manner.

She smiled satisfactorily and taunted, “Perhaps I am eager to get… Hmm,” she mimicked him, “Perhaps you are just too eager to fuck me, Aemond.”

A animalistic growl followed by a low chuckle echoed from her behind, “You want me to take you in front of the gods, do you?”

She turned her head to face him, grinning, “You know me, uncle. I pray to myself, for myself. I am a goddess, and you are my willing servant.”

As her last words escaped her mouth, she shrieked at the pain and pleasure accompanied by the sudden intrusion.

She already got wet just by fucking teasing me. Such a - Aemond’s thought were cut off as the word "servant" entered into his ear.

He pushed into her luscious backside without any warning.

Soon, her gasps of pain tuned into screams of pleasure.

“How is that, little viper? Are you still a goddess now?” He demanded cruelly as he spanked her hard.

Little did he know in her ears, the sharp sound on his hand and her, the relentless pounding, her own moans and his occasional growls were a symphony driving her into Seven Heavens.

“Big uncle,” she emphasized on the word “big” and arched her back, “You are so good to me. Serve me harder.”

Aemond longed to ruin her, yet he knew she wanted to be ruined.

He increased his pace, his hands coming down on her again and again.

He whispered the most sinful and degrading things he could think off.

Everything exacerbated her excitement.

It both infuriated and satisfied him.

“Scream louder, my little viper, mine!”

And scream his name she did.

Aemond panted in satisfaction and exhaustion as he smirked at the mess he created.

But suddenly he stopped everything and displayed a face of chock as well as shame. "I will not fuck you here like a vulgar hoe on the sidewalk! I refuse to degrade you in such ways, I already did too much here. Let's go home. You saw enough of the city for today!"

She stopped right away her little game, surprised at the sight of the prince's behaviour, so serious and yet so reasoned. He valued her, she understood that behind his pride and lust towards her, the prince really estimated her. She was not just a toy anymore or a property, he had feelings for her as complex as hers.

"You deserve better than this my lady", he added while he took her by the hand to walk back to the castle...

Once there the prince brought her into his apartments before leaving without a word but it was clear that he was replaying the latest events over and over again in his head. Alone now, she would also think about the latest events and her attitude toward the prince. Maybe her provocative manners was no good and should not be taken so lightly but she couldn't help but desire the prince. She longed for his coming every night and came to ask him to stay a little longer each visit to such an extent that they exchanged more and more regularly, getting closer and closer each time. They became to share dinner sometimes, he taught her High Valyrian, read to her but everytime the tension began to show the prince ran away even tho he wished to stay, he didn't wanted to do any mistakes again... She almost came to the point of asking the prince to sleep with her but she knew it would have seemed inappropriate, which was for sure. She felt so alone without him. More! she began to like him despite her hate and hatred and now she wanted him.

It was obvious Aemond started catching mixed feelings towards her too during those visits, she was no longer his stupid prey, a property or a way to anger the Blacks, he liked her despise her viper manipulative and provocative attitude, she satisfied him as well as she frustrated him. He knew he couldn't marry her, as a prince of the realm, and on the verge of civil war, once his father passed, Aemond needed to secure an advantageous marriage with a powerful house, one that would increase their army numbers. She was an ennemy to his family and an menace. Regardless of his affection for her: duty comes first. That is what his mother taught him. Under different circumstances, perhaps it could've worked out, she were not a lowborn, but her position was worst than that.

Aemond could be a cruel man, yes, but never with her. She have found her way into his heart a long time ago this particular night and maybe way before that... He couldn't be selfish and hold her back because of his desires because he also knew she needed to marry soon.

"You might do well to find yourself a suitor." He said in between two readings, you were straddling his lap on the sofa of his quarters, grinding on his bulge slightly, his breath stuttering as he held onto your waist.

She pulled away, with furrowed brows, swollen lips, and lustful eyes. The sight was almost too much for Aemond to bear. "What?" 

"You heard me." Shadows danced across his face and you believed Aemond bathed by the candlelight was undoubtedly one of the finest views you have ever seen.

You hummed, a habit you picked up because of him, and then smirked. "Are you trying to get rid of me?" Your breath encountered his neck making him have chills.

Aemond squirmed underneath you, holding your arms as he gently pushed you away. "I am not jesting," His expression was stern. "We cannot keep this going for longer, I have to go for affairs because of the war." She broke down internally. He then grabbed her arms, leaning his face closet to hers "I'll write to you and maybe when I'll return we'll discuss serious topics, it will also give us the time to think about the situation, right?" He kissed her cheeks softly making her blush right away. "I won't lock the door this time, if you want to escape, I won't stop you, you're free little bird" he then left her more frustrated and lonely than ever. It was obvious she wouldn't even try to escape. She was his.

The days were so long without any companies and only him to think about but every day she would receive letters from the prince and would take many hours to answer him. They exchanged many letters through what seemed to be a week... Their discussions were stricts and serious at first only mentioning Aemond's missions but became more and more personal day after day even sharing their feelings, speaking openly about missing each other company as well as being bored by everything around them. The day before Aemond's return, the princess seeking desperately their reunion, she wrote a letter a bit more special... She proposed him to meet at midnight in the garden to maybe discuss the serious topics he mentioned... It was a risky letter and she knew it could be decisive as well as she knew she could not help being obsessed with him and needed to see him again, to meet him again, to be close again, closer.

This particular day, it seems like the princess had been waiting all the evening for the prince's letter. It was becoming to be dark outside and she was worried, overthinked for hours, but nothing came. A letter finally slipped down her door. She ran to picked it up and read it as fast as she could. "Dear niece, I know you hate to stay in this room all day locked up, come find me in the garden at midnight. The doors are unlocked. Make sure you're not followed or seen. I can't wait to see you."

And then she reached her breaking point. She sneaked out of her bed in the middle of the night to join him in the garden, she didn't even thought to escape a second. She paced around the room, ran the corridors and stairs of the castle... Now in the garden fidgeting with the sleeve of her cloak as she waited for Aemond. She had no clue he'd actually would come or not. Certainly, now that the war broke out, he had more urgent matters to attend to, so was she being selfish for wanting and almost demanding him? Absolutely, but so was he when he didn't let her go and kidnapped her, so was he enticing her with filthy letters and making her sin even more for him.

The crack of a stick of wood made her blood rush in her veins, breath stuck in her throat as she turned around. There he stands, in all his haughtiness, even when he's almost all covered with his cloak, he pulls the hood down, smirking at her. There's only silence as she watch him slowly take off the cloak and throw it on a bank. She lick her lips as she take in his leather clothing, then he proceeds to remove his worn and brown eyepatch, the one he would only use to run around King's Landing undetected. Her eyes trail his body hungrily, the glistening gemstone only making the knot in her stomach tighten. It's truly almost painful the sight of him, having him so close, and completely alone. She can ghostly feel his touch and smell already, and her heart hammers against her ribcage. She approach him under his amused gaze.

"I know you are up to no good to bring me to such a place at the hour of the owl," Aemond says as she halt in front of him.

"You are correct." She glance at his curved lips for a second before locking her eyes with his violet one again.

"Have you enjoyed my letters?"

"Greatly, the same amount I despised it as well." Aemond scoffs. "What happened to our terms?"

She take a great inspiration "This is not right and you know it Aemond but I feel things that I should not and I think you do too despise our condition..."

Aemond smirks "you're right, you should not feel those things..."

She can't help the snicker falling off her lips as she hits his chest playfully. "Stop making me feel more guilty than I already do!"

Aemond hums, raising a brow. "Not guilty enough to stop you from answering my letters or coming here late at night." She avert her eyes.

"It 's alright. Did we once follow the traditions? Do you believe the Seven thought of us as fewer sinners when we engaged in sexual activities before marriage because we were unwed?" He grabs your chin. "Do not be ashamed. You are mine and can't resist me. You and I are meant to be, we are more than a mere convenient marriage. Ain't I too supposed to be faithful to my duty and my family?"

"Have you enjoyed my letters?"

"I keep them all." He answers, leaning his face closer to hers. Her knees almost fail her as she inhale his scent of leather, sandalwood, and bergamot. "Have you missed me as I missed you, my beautiful girl?"

"Possibly even more." You confess.

"Tell me why you invited me here, I need to hear it from your pretty mouth." His thumb trails over her lower lip.

"I was expecting you to keep to your word." She tease.

He chuckles. "That would take days."

"Certainly you can arrange some time for a close friend…" 

His good eye seemed to glimmer as much as the sapphire replacing the other. "Will this be an occurrence?"

She fidget with the button of his tunic. "It seems we cannot keep apart from each other, so I would guess so." She look into his eye. 

"Mhm." His arm sneaks around her waist, bringing her even closer to his body, and she place her hands on his shoulders. "You haven't said it yet." He tilts his head.

She breathed in and gulped. "I brought you here because I want you to fuck me, I need you to fuck me." 

Aemond smiled, actually smiled. Most certainly smugly, but he displayed all of his teeth in his adorable grin, and she loved to see it, a smile appears on her face as well, almost unconsciously just by seeing him smiling. 

"As my lady wishes."

It's blazing when their lips meet, not loving or gentle, but rather fervent and harsh. She moan into his mouth when his tongue touches hers, and all guilt leaves her at once. At that moment everything that wasn't Aemond ceased to exist, as it always happened when she were with him, she only cared for his touch. The time apart made it even better, the leather beneath her fingers comforting. His other hand goes to the back of her head, and she continues to kiss him eagerly, her body trembling even with so little stimulation. She bites his lips as she parts slightly for air, and then their mouths are locked again. The kiss slows down a bit, becoming more appreciative as both of them delight in the exchange and each other's taste, but it remains just as lustful.

Aemond swiftly takes her cloak off and she struggles off her shoes, the prince does the same. She helps Aemond out of his tunic after she is done and his undershirt goes flying across the garden. She touch his toned abdomen before her lips find his chest and neck, the low groan coming from Aemond stirring her up, her mouth trails down as she kiss all of his stomach, kneeling down in front of him. Aemond looks at her in anticipation as she undo his belt and pulls his trousers down, the leather a little too tight. Once his veiny and semi-hard cock springs free, her mouth starts watering. She don't take her eyes off it as she strokes it with her hand, making Aemond gasp loudly, her eyes darken, even the smell of his manhood tantalizing her. He's definitely above average, straight, long, and thick enough to give the best stretch without making her uncomfortable, with large veins running through the base and a pinkish tip. She can't help herself as she insert his head in her mouth with a loud pop, he tastes so divine. She smirk at him as he let out a strained moan, her tongue then sliding across his slit. Aemond's hand grips her hair with a decompensated breath.

She start kissing and licking around his shaft attentively, tongue flat while savoring it and purposely teasing him more before she stroke his cock a few more times and proceed to put half of his length in her mouth, Aemond trembles upon feeling her hot and soft lips around him, a growl escaping his mouth. "Oh, fuck, yes. You look so beautiful, my dear."

Her cheeks hollowed, head bobbing back and forth as she sucked him into her mouth, humming against his member, the sensation of pleasuring him way too good, and tears start to prickle her eyes. She keep fisting his cock and lapping on him relentlessly, even when she pulls him out, her lips keep locked on his part, tongue running around the length as she licks it before she swallows him again, the fullness of her mouth making her grow even wetter. She looks up at him as she gag on his cock, mouth squeezing his manhood as she sucks him hungrily, his head is thrown back, brows furrowed and pink lips parted, his good eye half-closed while the sapphire sparkles bright, it's the most wonderful sight one could lay eyes on. His grunts become more prominent as he lets her lead, she can feel her cunt throbbing almost achingly now. She gives him all the devotion she can master through it, her other hand gently massaging his balls and receiving the most delightful sound in return.

She smirks at him, taking him out of her mouth sloppily once again to catch her breath, his cock coated with her saliva, she slaps it on her face before sucking it again as if her life depends on it. He was so addicting. 

"By the Gods," He mutters with a grunt.

It's when she quicken her pace that it feels as if something quite feral snapped inside Aemond. He started to grow impatient and jerked his hips against her face, his closed fist on her hair more harsh and demanding, his pace becomes so brutish now that she stops stroking him, both her hands laying on his bare thigh for support, her nails digging deeply into his skin as she moans, no doubt bruising it later. It is impossible to fit all of his length in her mouth, but Aemond is certainly determined to do so, a flow of hot tears fall down her eyes as he fucks her mouth, her throat burning with the invasion. It's dirty, uncomfortable, and absolutely ecstatic. Aemond does not care for her whines or her gagging one bit now, he only cares for his enjoyment and release and she is more than happy to assist him with it. Lewdy sounds echo in the air as his tip hits the back of her throat mercilessly. She pushes his thigh as she pulls back for air, her appearance disheveled.

"Come on my face, please." She says out of breath, a split of saliva hanging between his cock and her mouth as she strokes his length rapidly and suck his head again. 

The sight below him accompanied by her words are enough to send Aemond on edge, and with a high-pitched moan, his hot load hits her face, painting a few parts of it white, she sticks her tongue out while so and shut her eyes as her hand continues to caress him. She smiles, swallowing his spend that fell on her tongue and gathering the amount that landed on her face. 

"So good," she praises him, licking her fingers clean. "So fucking good." She gives his head another lick, making him whine due to sensitivity.

She giggles and get up, Aemond immediately tasting himself on her lips in a messy and lecherous kiss. Lowering himself to her feet the prince grabs the ends of her dress and removes it anxiously. Her choice of dress was a very simple and easy to take off one, and she didn't bother to wear a shift underneath tonight either, aware of the sinful activities she planned to indulge in, leaving her completely bare now. Aemond stares at her nakedness with a pleasant hum and blown eye. Out of breath he says, "We need to go somewhere else for now on" as he picked her up all the way to his quarters.

"Go to bed and spread your legs for me." He commands as he discards her dress somewhere. 

When her back hits the bed, she immediately opens her legs to him, hand provocatively touching her breasts, there's no shyness, only a burning desire to be seen by him. She bites her lips as she notices how his violet eye has turned almost all black now. He fists his cock a couple of times at the sight of her, one he wishes to never forget.

He makes his way toward the bed, kneeling in front of her. Bringing her body forward, he leaves a trail of kisses on her inner thighs, which makes her shudder. "I have longed for this sweet cunt so much…" 

His middle finger parts her folds, gathering her juice next to her hole and then coming back up to circle her sensitive bud. She moans with the touch, brows furrowed and lifting her hips slightly, and she can hear Aemond chuckling. "So wet for me it's pitiful, truly." He continues to touch her teasingly, fingers pressed tightly to her heat as he runs it around. She can only hums in response, already lost in her pleasure, she feels completely on fire.

"Do you know why?" He moves his hand away, pressing his lips to her clit in a light kiss and making her whimper with the action. "Because it knows it belongs to me." He spits on her cunt crudely before immediately lapping on it, her back arching involuntarily as her moans get louder.

His warm tongue twirls between her folds slowly, making her whimper and bite her lips harshly, it feels like a dream, her face immediately twists in pleasure as shivers run down her spine with the sensation of his lips on her sex. Aemond sucks her clit, making her gasp, her hands going to his silky hair as she presses his face even further in her cunt. Aemond's tongue slides all over her pussy as he sucks and licks her as if it was the air that he breathed. He closes his eye for a second, groaning lowly against her parts due to his own enjoyment.

His tongue teases her hole before coming back up to suck harshly on her sensitive bud unabated, she watches him with hooded eyes, his name on her lips like a prayer.

He continues lapping on her, one of his hands holding her cunt open to give him better access. "You're doing so good, my beauty." 

He spits on her one more time, mouth devouring her sex. He easily inserts two fingers into her soaked cunt, and she cannot control the sounds that leave her lips anymore. He curls his fingers inside her as his tongue whirls on her clit, his pumping speeding up as she jerks her hips against his face and hand. It's so exceptional, his long fingers reaching a place she cannot on her own. In an urge to grab something, one of her hands squeezes her breast as she whimpers uncontrollably. She opens her eyes to see he's already looking directly at her as his tongue moves side to side on her. She bites herr lips so hard it draws blood.

Getting up on her elbows, she watches as he gives her long licks up and down, then twirls it around her bud again and sucks into his mouth, his fingers inside her not faltering, she relishes in the stimulation on both her core and clit, making her eyes roll back as not one coherent thought crosses her mind. She feels goosebumps all over her skin and pathetic gibberish leaves her mouth. Aemond continues to work her on, his darting and thrusting getting faster and making her moans break. She can feel her release building up on her lower belly as she shuts her eyes, cunt clenching tightly around his fingers, and she is so ready for it, to let it go and cry in pleasure, she is close, so close… and he stops, pulling away.

She looked at him with a mixture of confusion, anger, and frustration. He chuckled at her, licking the fingers that were inside her seconds ago.

"I need you to sit on my face." 

Her stomach tingles upon hearing his words and she can only nod, moving aside so he could lay on the bed. When Aemond is settled, she straddles his face, holding onto the cool headboard and being careful as to not put all of her weight on him, she lowers her cunt to his mouth, immediately gasping when she does so. Aemond holds on to her upper thighs tightly, keeping her in place and moaning into her heat as he starts licking her fervently once again.

She can't help herself as she grinds and rolls her hips on his mouth, hands pinching her nipples as her pace quickens. Aemond doesn't leave an inch of her cunt out of his affections, sucking her hard as he groans against her in delight. When his tongue started to make circles with a lot of pressure onto her cunt, she is moaning so loud she is certain the whole inn could hear her, but that was far from being a concern to her. She needs to hold on to the headboard again, knuckles whitening with the force she puts on it. His name is on her lips as a mantra now as she bounces on him, her stomach churning and feeling dizzy. Then, his tongue is all around her again, relaxed and hot as he works his magic with purpose. 

She keeps her eyes locked on Aemond the whole time, the sight of him under her and satisfying her desires only adding more intensity to her pleasure. He looks so pretty and alluring like this, his adorable lips so keen to make her happy, eating her out so well and good, she bites her lips again while smiling down at him, she grinds more relentlessly now, not even trying to be careful, the feel of his mouth paired with the faint brush of his chin and the tip of his nose on her cunt is the best thing she has ever experienced. 

Her high comes down abruptly and feels like a million stars exploding at once, a long scream on her lips. Her head falls back, black dots covering her vision as her legs tremble. She cried as Aemond continued to lap on her sensitive cunt, kissing it multiple times after. Admirably her legs didn't fail her and she managed to get off his face, body falling limp on the bed. The ceiling above them is spinning as her heart palpitates in her ears. It takes a minute for her breath to stabilize, and when she looks to her side she sees Aemond grinning, chin glistening with her juices and they both laugh at each other out of bliss.

Aemond moves to hover over her, his mouth finding hers in a long and deep kiss, her legs wrap around his waist as one of his hands squeezes her breast before cradling her face. Their lips move harmoniously together, tongues caressing one another. It's so soothing, she feels so at peace and so light, just as the sound of the wind passing through the trees. There is no rush, only long kisses and pecks, hooded eyes, and silly little smiles. It's not sexual, it's not innocent, it's two people taking their time with each other. She lost track of time in her consuming passion, too occupied in the sheer joy of the prince's soft lips and naked body pressed against hers.

Slowly but as expected, the kisses start to grow needier, her breathing becoming erratic and her womanhood pulsating. Her grind against Aemond's stiffness and he sighs deeply, his mouth moving to her neck as he sucks and bites in her sensitive spot making her shiver, trailing down to her breast, he puts one in his mouth, twirling his tongue around her nipple. He pulls back a little, holding his hard cock and running it between her folds before he calmly and gently slides into her.

Her eyes close with the feeling, the stretch his girth gives is simply extraordinary and so fulfilling. She starts whimpering as he settles in between her legs, nothing and no one else could make her feel this way, to reach that specific point. Her cunt clenched tight around him, he's so big and it feels amazing.

"Fuck, sweet thing," He breathes out. "You feel even tighter than the last time."

He starts to thrust on her slowly, and her eyes roll back again, gasping loudly as she relishes the feel of his cock inside her, so marvelous. Aemond lets his face fall on the crook of her neck, to feel her soft walls around him an absolute blessing in his opinion, his moans are so low if she was a little bit louder yourself she wouldn't be able to hear him. 

"So good…" she moans, she has missed this way too much.

"Mhm, yes, very good." He holds onto her hips strongly and her legs parts even further.

He starts to go even deeper, his hip finding a steady pace that makes her feel as if she is flying. His grunts become loud, and his hand leans her leg up to her chest as he starts to pound on her more fastly now. "Fucking perfection. You are so perfect."

She holds her leg up to help him, already a moaning mess. The cracky bed hits the wall repeatedly and she is sweating a lot, her hair sticking to her forehead. It is such a great sensation she is torn between seeking her peak and wanting it to last forever, to feel him inside her forever. It seems Aemond feels the same, because now and then when the prince believes her or himself to be close, he'd stay still inside her, completely out of breath, and hold a few seconds before starting again, a few strands of his silver locks falling into her face as he does so.

His lips wrap around hers messily, tongues locked as he keeps thrusting and grunting. His familiar scent, a cologne custom-made because he is just that snob, mixed with his sweat turns her on even more.

He parts from her for a minute, kneeling on the bed and then turning her around with impressive force and grace, her back instantly arching for him while the side of her face is pressed to the mattress. She can hear him chuckle before he slaps her ass hard, and she whines, core clenching. 

"You little whore," He presses the tip of his cock to her entrance and she wiggles. "My perfect little whore." 

He thrust into her cunt, the new position making her euphoric, and she started to meet him at his pace, she whimpers almost pitiful. Aemond's hand grips her ass, his shoving only quickening by the second, he laughs a bit seeing her eagerness, and then he halts, letting her do the work for a while. He stares at his cock disappearing inside her cunt with a wicked glint in his eye and he masters all of his self-control to not go feral. 

"Yes, yes, yes," He encourages. "You're so good at this, gorgeous. Keep on taking my cock like the sweet whore you are, oh yes." 

His words make her groan, core tightening around him as her movements grow faster and harder, so much his cock slips out of her cunt once, but she is quick to insert it into her dropping hole again, the wetting sounds of skin against skin nothing but obscene. Aemond watches with a smirk the way her parts are milking him, hands caressing and squeezing her butt as she leans back on his length. 

Soon he takes control again, starting to thrust on her aggressively and steadily. She screamz, the rattle of the bed growing even more strident now, and she becomes a babbling mess, biting into her hand to try to prevent her loud moans from being heard, a tear falling from the corner of one of her eyes. Aemond laughs amusedly.

"Oh my, you love this, don't you?" 

"Y-y-yes," she stutters, brows furrowed, fist tight on the linen sheet.

"Fuck, you are heavenly," Aemond says. "And all mine." 

"Muhm," she agrees. "All yours, only yours." 

He slaps the cheek of her ass again. "My princess," His paces become faster. "My fucking queen." He leans down, lips kissing her cheek.

In a blink of an eye, she is on her back again, Aemond's managing her body too easily. She brings both her legs up as he inserts his manhood into her, his hand wrapping around her neck as he thrust into her ruthlessly.

She can only moan, holding onto anything she can grasp, it's almost too much and she feels completely wobbly, it feels as if he was made in the most perfect size to send her to the seven heavens and back. His cock hits her cervix unrelenting, his fist tightening around her neck until she can barely breathe, the lack of air only increasing her pleasure, and then…

The coil inside her snaps in a shattering wave, her whole body shaking. It's as if she had left her body entirely and were floating around, her vision whitening and audition failing you. When she comes back to her senses, Aemond is grunting lowly and thrusting into her, her cunt wrapping around his cock amazingly, with a husky and strained moan, his face twists in pleasure, eye shut and mouth agape as he spills his white tea deep inside her, filling her up and she moans just by watching him. His thrusts get sloppier and weaker as he rides off his high until his body falls on top of hers, with hitched breath and trembling slightly. She smiles, one hand caressing his hair and the other his back, his skin feels almost burning under her touch.

She feels suddenly exhausted, and all she wishes to do is close her eyes and succumb to slumber. Aemond looks up at you as if guessing the line of your thoughts: the prince was accustomed to you getting sleepy after your passionate activities.

"You may sleep, my beloved," His knuckle brushed against her cheek.

She smiled softly at him and nodded. He got off her, and they both wrapped themselves with the thin blanket. She rested her face on Aemond's chest, one leg over his body. The prince hugged her closer, caressing her back and her thigh. He sighed contently.

As they quickly fall asleep, Aemond stares at her, the crickets outside the small window and the cackling of the fire are the only noises reaching his ears. He smiles pleased upon her sleeping form, realizing no matter marriage or time, this is where she will always belong: with him, in his bed, in his arms, where her heart truly lies.

[ileftherbackhome]

like this is not meant in an insulting tone at all just fyi

because i wasn't prepared for her to be insistent on dodging accountability while she admits to making mistakes tbqh.

a lot of the tone on this record feels like "this is everyone else's fault except mine" and although the prologue does admit that she was fucking stupid last year, it still takes on a sympathetic "my mental health excuses this" tone that doesn't actually do as much to hold her accountable as she would like.

it's one thing to emotionally cheat and lie and manipulate situations to fit your narrative. its quite a fucking nother thing to act like you did nothing wrong at all even as you detail all the ways in which you make selfish decisions. idk, when i make mistakes, usually im aware that ive made a mistake if not during it, immediately after and i do shy away from the fact that it was a mistake.

and i do think her explanation in ms americana can explain a lot of this, especially when she talks about how her black and white thinking led to her eating disorder. she says that she wants to be a good girl so this record kind of shows how she twisted everything she did wrong into a "good" or justified behavior. it's classic disordered thinking that i really wish she would get professional help for because she needs to get over this mentality of "bad things happen to me and im powerless to stop them"

she made like 5x the amount of money joe did. she moved to london of her own accord. she could have left at literally any fucking time, unless he was physically abusing her there is no reason for her to be scared of leaving him if she's so unhappy she's dreaming of fucking her "best friend" for months into years before actually doing it.

she acts like any public criticism of her behavior is a "crucifixion" of her instead of her fandom holding her accountable when she messes up and makes mistakes. She thinks critique of her flaunting a man who uses slurs publically is "viper" behavior instead of her fandom being hurt that she hears people say slurs and fucks them as a reward for it.

it's such whiny, teenager behavior that i am genuinely SHOCKED she hasn't grown out of by now. idk its interesting to me that she released 2 hours of music because i feel like it shows how much of a fake product her other albums are in the sense that she polishes and tidies up the narrative on those records to not leave any room for criticism of her behavior at all. whereas this album is raw and unfiltered and i would be shocked if this wasnt the whole "vault" for this era. maybe there are like a few more songs (a short leash and a short fuse is interesting af idk if its ttpd or rerecording easter egg tho) but i doubt she wrote more than 30 full songs in the 10 months it took her to put this album together.

and i think the fact that she was like release it all is so interesting to me because it shows a desire to actually grow up and hold herself accountable and show all parts of her personality the good the bad and the fucking insidious.

and i genuinely love her for it, this is the most mature album she has ever released and i adore the courage it took for her to stand up and take a good hard look at herself and be like yea actually i am a fucking villain sometimes let me show all the ways im fucked in the head since yall have been begging for it for years anyways and making up your own theories so here is the truth.

and its great. its fantastic i adore this album for the complexity of it all.

but i also hate how much anger i feel listening to her whine about how she had no other option but to emotionally cheat for years cause she's just a wittle baby. i too contain multitudes lol anyways the joe quote made me so sad and this is the result

[thelemmallama]

An exchange in the comment section of this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d9EuKdpA1U) video that got swallowed by youtube. I hate putting all that effort into a conversation only for it to all vanish into the void, so I'm logging it here:

______________

A 1 year ago (edited) To be honest this game has really interesting mechanics and art but I can't stand the yandere trope & I feel like this is building up to it. I think this game is just going to end up being demonizing or romanticizing of mental illness and neither of those are really good -_-

Edit: Reply on this comment gave me some more details and I am still a bit cautious, but open to seeing more of this game!

_

_

B 1 year ago That's fair in my opinion, it also puts me off a bit, but at the same time I feel like properly handling those topics might be asking a but much from a game of this format.

Like, again, I completely understand where you are coming from, but from my perspective the devs where just trying to represent how things aren't all positive in that kind of scenario. I try to watch it under the assumption that people won't use it as a reference on how to handle that kind of struggle in real life, but it's also perfectly reasonable to not stand for that kind of oversimplification.

A 1 year ago If you can't properly handle sensitive issues like mental health in your game, then don't put it in there. They could've made a normal game about a girl living a double life as a streamer, or an emotionally complex game with serious ups and downs. But the in-between is extremely dangerous because kids see stuff like this and grow to romanticize it. Regardless of the dev's intentions, it's irresponsible at the least.

B 1 year ago fair

B 1 year ago Hey I don't know if you still care about this conversation but I looked a bit more into this game and there's some things I want to talk about but they involve spoilers so read it if you wish to.

Spoilers below: . . .

After watching all of the endings I don't feel like this game romanticized or demonizes mental illnesses. It's a cautionary tale about just how unhealthy the "streamer" mindset can be where what at first glance seemed like an "in between" is actually the game luring in people that are interested in that kind of thing and show them just how bad it can be.

Sure, the game never really teaches how to actually deal with her mental health issues, but what it does show is that using a search for popularity and higher numbers as a coping mechanism really isn't the solution.

As for the endings themselves, they vary a lot, from her overworking herself, getting addicted and even committing suicide to more basic/joke ones like her living a normal life in a job she hates or her simply dumping you for a streamer with a horse head, the consistent theme is that she is either very unhappy or pretty much went insane. None of the endings act like she doesn't have mental issues, and none of the endings present anything she does as a solution, as again, even in the ones where she is supposedly happy it is clear that she is far from okay. The "true ending" doesn't really focus much on her mental health as she simply decides to try to make her own decisions and once she realizes she doesn't need to depend on you she removes all options in the game except turning it off and you can't play again, similar to how Doki Doki Literature Club corrupts itself at completion.

So yeah, it's a cautionary tale, doesn't teach how to deal with psychological issues, just that the "streamer mindset" can cause and intensify many of them. Probably could have executed some aspects better, then again it is kind of trying to appear simple at the start.

A 1 year ago Oh ok, thank you for this info! This does sound a lot better than I was expecting, if CMC decides to continue this playthrough I might give it more of a chance :]

@crapshoot 17 hours ago Ehhhh … I mean, a lot of people have mental health issues and want to write/make stuff about it, but have impostor syndrome ("am I actually struggling or am I just romanticizing it/using it as an aesthetic?"), exp. with all the accusations floating around about ppl faking mental illness for attention.

Plus it's hard to be vulnerable and take yourself seriously; people do this kind of in-between stuff as a coping mechanism, kind of like how people make "jokes" about serious stuff that aren't really jokes.

That's not to say media is beyond criticism and we can totally point out demonizing/romanticizing narratives and explain why a particular work handles a sensitive issue poorly, but "if you can't, then don't" is harmful imo. Even if you don't see it as problematic censorship, it often ends up silencing all the wrong people.

A 17 hours ago @crapshoot @crapshoot Hi! This comment is a bit old & I do agree with a lot of the things you mentioned. I also struggle w/mental health & seeing it poorly portrayed frustrates me, which was ultimately what led me to making this comment. I see how my phrasing was harsh, I am personally of the belief that writing from experience can pretty much never be "incorrect", and I do not know if this game was created based out of personal experience. I dislike this game for personal reasons at this point, some of which relate to the portrayal of mental health, and some do not.

A 16 hours ago @crapshoot Like my problem with this game isn't that it shows the "gritty reality" of mental health issues or is like a unique perspective on a girl's declining mental state that's unsavory to the general public. It's a tropey yandere game w/semi-unique mechanics that's draped in a cutesy style. Yandere as a genre is based on stigmatized depictions of personality disorders. To me, that sort of thing is much different than someone creating a piece of media from lived experience.

@crapshoot 16 hours ago I guess my point was not every actually knows they're writing from personal experience. Like people legitimately think "do I actually want to die or do I just want to be edgy?"/"am I actually struggling to do things because I lack energy or have executive dysfunction, or am I just lazy?". Even very basic seeming things like "I'm feeling happy/sad/angry right now", are things some people question.

And again, some people lean into tropes because they're afraid of being vulnerable, because it makes them open to accusations of "taking themselves too seriously". Being a tropey yandere game is not in itself proof that something is not written from lived experience.

(Of course, tropey yandere games do often portray things in a harmful way; I'm not disputing that. And I haven't gotten very far into the LP yet, so I'm certainly not defending this particular game that I don't know much about. I'm just criticizing the reasoning of your comment; you can be right about this game for the wrong reasons. I never thought your problem with this game is that it shows the "gritty reality" of mental health issues or is like a unique perspective on a girl's declining mental state that's unsavory to the general public.)

I hope I'm not coming across as invalidating your frustration with your experiences of mental health struggles being portrayed poorly; again, I'm in favour of criticizing media depictions. I just think certain styles of reasoning are harmful to other people with other mental health struggles that are perhaps different from your own. (But yeah, not everyone can confidently say "I struggle with mental health". I'm not sure if you're picking up on the vagueing here; I feel like I'm being pretty heavy-handed but idk -- it's not about you anyway so maybe it's better if you didn't pick up on it :'D)

A 9 hours ago @crapshoot Okay well I get a lot about what you're saying but the fact that you had to end that w/invalidating my mental health issues is.. shitty & doesn't rlly make me wanna engage with this conversation anymore. You do not know anything about me nor my lived experiences, don't speak like you do. Just because I can confidently say in this moment that I have struggles doesn't mean I always do.

@crapshoot 8 minutes ago (edited) I didn't mean to imply I knew anything about you or your lived experiences, and I'm sorry I came across that way:

When I said "other people with other mental health struggles that are perhaps different from your own", I did actually mean perhaps different, not definitely different; it was not meant to preclude you having the same issues.

Even if you can always confidently say you have struggles, that doesn't invalidate the struggles themselves.

And I did say I wasn't vaguing about you.

Your mental health issues are valid.

You don't have to continue this conversation further ofc; in case you're still reading though, if you sometimes struggle to say you have struggles, then you can understand why some people may feel the need to portray mental health issues in "jokey"/"tropey"/less straightforwardly serious ways, right?

[brainrotallthewaydown1312]

I've just finished The Whispering Skull and I have feelings

I'm going to put a spoiler cut here for anyone who hasn't read the books yet, fair warning this will probably get a bit long

I have very complex feelings about the way the end came together.

I stand by what I said before. Pamela Joplin was worlds more developed than Albert Joplin. the way things fell together at the end, largely being BBC sherlock-ed together felt very flat compared to the way it snapped into place in the show.

I also like the final fight for the glass better in the show. I like Lucy using the skull and I like where that could have gone for the skulls development. I also like the Lucy and George moments during the bone glass scene in the show better. there was still a sense in the book that they were really coming together in this scene, but that part of it didn't hit as hard and I really like that aspect of it.

I did, however love how George beat the glass. as a fellow blind as a bat bitch I love a solid use of glasses like that. it's definitely something that George would have thought of and definitely something that could have worked. it has less narrative weight moving forward but I do love it. i also liked his fake out death. it really hit me in the gut.

Kipps role in the ending of the book strikes me as odd. he was more present for the whole scene, and both heard Lucy confessing about the skull and he also would have heard Lucy's side of the conversation she had with it during the fight. he also has no reason to keep his lack of talent a secret because it's already known. he just fully knows about Lucy and the only thing keeping him from mentioning it is the thin thread of mutual respect from surviving the bone glass together. I see how this leads into the development I've been told about where he joins the team, but it feels more like a loose end than it should. I like in the way the show did that better. it also builds towards him joining, but it brings in a more emotionally complex aspect to the start of that arc. and I like the fact that it consequently makes them closer in age. I think aging Lockwood's team up a little and Kipps down a little was a very good decision. it puts them on a more even playing field that fits them better in my opinion.

my broadest conclusion at the end of book 2 (and I'm guessing my hottest take) is that I have found the biggest weakness in the writing of this story. it's that we are limited to Lucy's pov. these books would have been much better in third person. don't get me wrong, I love Lucy (most of the time) but she is only rarely the most narratively interesting character, and too much is happening without us. I get what Stroud is going for with it. and I think he succeeded at what he was going for. I just have so many things I want to have seen that Lucy would have simply not been there for. not even just things from the show like Lockwood's cemetary fight or flo and George on the boat, but things about what Lockwood is doing literally ever or details about kipps' team watching them. and I think some of them being missing add to the mystery of the series, but plenty of these things would have added to it. and i almost always prefer first person. I just think that this story choosing it with Lucy specifically has taken away some potential narrative value from things

it may not sound it from my thoughts I've been posting, but I am loving these books. i am still creating my own franken canon in my head as I go like I was before, but the books are growing on me. I just show my literary love through intense analysis and critique. can you guess which character I'm most like?

I can't wait to start the next book

[proxylynn]

HIII HELLO HI pls tell us abt your ocs ! how would you introduce them to someone that's never heard abt them... free ramble pass

[Well...Lynsie aka Lynn is just me (it's my real name and nickname, hi there). I self-insert into stuff and she's the go-to I use. There's a Lynn in just about everything. She's always sweet, kind, and a little weird.

Shade is just a living shadow that I made to be a loveable little monster. Prone to attachment and lover of scares. Is far more gentle than they look. Can shift their form to look like anything but their face remains the same. Can be solid or intangible depending on how dark it is or the need of the situation...it can hurt. They feel cold but it's mostly due to them being made of darkness, so there's an absence of heat. Shade loves to cuddle you so they can feel warm without the risk of harm. Being a solid shadow in bright areas creates an unnatural reaction, a Shadow can not have a shadow, and that's why it hurts.

Billy is a good ol' mama's boy looking to make it into the pro-wrestling scene. He's very well trained in fighting and self-defense, as well as performing (modern wrestling is more of a show than a real fight). He traveled to the Uncanny Valley after hearing of the unique inhabitants and figured he'd make a name for himself by testing his limits dealing with "monsters". He ends up falling in love with a Regular Guy instead.

Cassandra aka Cassy was born in Uncanny Valley to a wealthy family. However, her silver eyes were seen as a sign of misfortune. Most of her family neglected her and in some cases were mentally/emotionally abusive. Her grandmother, the head of the family, was the only one to take pity on her...mostly because she's the heiress of the family. She's always positive and runs a flower cart that she pedals around town to bring smiles to those in need. She ends up in a poly relationship with a Realtor.

The vampire coven/family is made up of four members. Vincent's an edgy-looking dude, but that's because he just likes it. He's really more the kind of dude you can bring to your folks and have no worries about. He loves the stuff you can get at Hot Topic. No one would believe he was a vampire when he dresses so stereotypically to the modern vampire punk idea. He does a thing to center himself/signal when things are serious. He'll use both hands to smooth back his hair, getting that classic slick Bela Lugosi Dracula look or something similar to Vergil from Devil May Cry. When he does this, you better stop, his patience is getting thin. Dominic is younger than Vincent and with an inferiority complex so he tends to stay in a demonic form to feel strong. As is, his eyes can be 1 of 3 colors. White: normal. Gold: surprise. Red: rage. His fur is so black that humans can't make out his face till it's too late. While his family/coven gives him all the care and support anyone can ask for, he developed slower than his peers and was bullied for it. Taking the form of a hell beast allowed him to not only feel stronger but brought fear to his former peers, something that gives him great joy. Despite his chosen appearance, Dominic is a gentle and sensitive soul. He shyly stays in his room and listens to music unless needed or something gets his attention. He tends a garden, having a gift for making the most stubborn of plants grow. He's very proud of his moonflowers. Liam, the patriarch. The soft-hearted shield that is a master in the art of wordplay. He can get you under his will with a mere simple utterance. The only one he submits to is his beloved. He's been around for a long time, eldest of the family, the only one who knows his history is his love. In his time, he's gathered a vast fortune, something Vincent has given him the nickname "Smaug" for. But unlike the greedy dragon, Liam is more than happy to share what's his. He loves wordplay, you can tell how much he favors you by the amount he uses on you. The more witty and clever, he really likes you. But if simple and blunt, he cares little for you and wants to get away from you as soon as he can. It's hard to get in his favor if you lost it. He has the personality of Gomez Addams (something that was in the dream a lot). Very loveable, eccentric, charming, and protective of his family. He will welcome you with open arms and let your actions speak for you. You have to really be a huge pile of trash for him to hate you. And lastly, the matriarch, Philomena aka Mena (pronounced mee-nah, like Dracula's Mina). The sword to Liam's shield, all matters are settled by her. A gentle woman. But she is not to be taken lightly when pushed. No one messes with her loved ones. Slightly younger than Liam, she is highly intelligent and skilled in the vast array of powers being a vampire grants. A silly woman, she mothers all that enter her humble home. Expect lots of hugs and positive affirmation. Can often be spotted reading randomly in any room. She will wear makeup and fancy jewelry for only 3 reasons. One, to flirt with Liam. Two, important events. And three, if she's feeling sad and wants to feel better...which usually gets to Liam so it reverts to reason one.