#i just know he thinks it’s hilariously funny whenever you stick your middle finger up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

littlemisslipbalm · 4 years ago

Text

“it’s not that important”

Summary: Y/N is in Harry’s band and one night they have a drunken hook up. One thing leads to another and they find themselves engaging in a friend’s with benefits type of situation. spoiler: it is important

AKA: A friends with benefits to lovers story :) with some angst in there

This is for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration so my trope is friends with benefits! prompt is “you have no goddamn idea what you do to me. when i’m around you, i have no control of my emotions or my thoughts” and the tenth picture ^ i kinda just used it in the beginning to descripe what he was wearing - i got really carried away with this story but the prompt is in there !! lol, not proofread tho but would love your feedback !!!! :) love y’all very much

oh boy i’ve had this done for agesss but i hadn’t written the smut until today so now we’re here i dont even remember what happens - i vaguely remember not loving the end but I hope yall enjoy

Word Count: 15.4k (longest fic to date) | Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol consumption? i dont remember but i dont think theres anything too heavy in here.

“Hey Harold!” You smile as you easily hop over the side of the couch and settle beside your bandmate.

Harry groans, yet can’t keep the small smile off of his face when he sees it’s you. “How many times have I told you to never call me that?”

Your eyes narrow at his faux glare. “And how many times have I told you, I simply do not care?”

You reach a hand out and tousle his already disheveled, unstyled brown hair. Despite his lack of styling, his hair still looked perfect. His chestnut hair fell into a middle part when he did nothing to it and you found it endearing. It made him look far younger than he truly was, like a boy you might have pursued when you were in your early days at college. The waves slightly framed his prominent cheekbones and chiseled jaw that was sporting a tiny amount of stubble.

He moves his arm from around the back of the couch to pat at his hair, trying to put it back in its nondescript position you had just messed with. After he’s satisfied, he uses the same hand to push up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. They’re chestnut brown Gucci frames that match the natural highlights in his hair. You can safely assume that’s why he bought them. The lenses are clear, but you know they don’t hold any prescription. He looks incredulously at you from behind them still.

“Nice glasses,” you mention offhandedly as you reach out to the coffee table to grab the drink you had left there earlier.

Before Harry had arrived, you had been taking up residence on the couch, in the spot he had actually taken up. You had ventured to the restroom for a moment and gotten held up in a conversation when asked your preference for the Beatles. Having to defend your staunch stance for the Beatles and against the Rolling Stones, you had gotten swept up into an argument with Adam. He believed that because the Rolling Stones toured for longer warranted them the title of best rock band. While you countered that despite their long touring and production of music, the Stones had a rotation of members. The Beatles maintained the four of them and held such a large impact even though they were barely together for a decade. They were one of a kind, or at least the first of their kind, you’d allow. You weren’t really in the mood for intellectual conversation tonight, so upon seeing Harry taking up your seat, you had told Adam you’d continue the discussion at a later date and returned to your spot.

“Thanks,” Harry mumbles as his gaze flits around the room. He wasn’t sure if you were actually complimenting him, but he would take it as one either way.

The rest of your friends are all up and about, drinking, talking, dancing. It was the usual house party scene: a relatively intimate gathering, music you all actually liked, some friends of friends feeling slightly out of place. There was no pressure in this type of gathering but still Harry wasn’t necessarily in the party mood tonight. Usually, Harry was the one instigating these types of get-togethers with his friends and bandmates. He liked to be the life of the party, but as the tour loomed closer and closer, he felt some tinge of longing for quiet and solitude. He knew he wouldn’t have much quiet while on the road, which mostly didn’t scare him. He loved the stage and the high he received from performing and the gratification he felt from all the people in the room being there to see him. But there was also that other part of him that liked the quiet, the privacy. As the lack of alone time nudged itself around the corner, he had been hoping to enjoy solitude, or at the very least peace before he was on the road. Some sort of blissful state before technical chaos ensued. When Charlotte, the host of tonight’s soiree, had texted their group chat about tonight, Harry had politely declined. Then came the slew of private texts from Charlotte giving him all the reasons he should come tonight. He tried to say no again, but had shown up after the continued begging from her.

His appearance mirrored his expression, choosing a not perfectly fitted white t-shirt and random trousers rather than picking something he really loved, like usual. You could tell something was up and as his friend you were wondering what was wrong with him.

“Don’t sound so excited, Harry, someone might mistake you for somebody who’s happy to be here.” You stick your tongue into the side of your cheek, gauging his reaction.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re not very funny?” He quips, green eyes flashing to meet yours.

Your banter is probably how the pair of you communicated the best, never really falling into the whole serious side of friendship. You never shared those late night talks about the future or your fears. It was a fun friendship, so you didn’t fancy yourself one of his closest confidants. When it came to music, you and Harry were a bit more serious which formed a sort of paradox because the music you would share with each other gave a far greater insight into your souls than you probably realized. As a member of his band, you would discuss his music and what was going on with that sort of business part. But the sharing and discussion of other music that you did was part of your friendship, even if you didn’t see it like that. Because of the countless albums you had recommended to each other and the specific songs you had made note of, Harry and you knew each other much better than you thought you did. Music connects to something deep inside yourself and you have to like it enough and know the other person well enough to believe that they will also enjoy it to recommend it. As much tongue and cheek that you partook in with Harry, deep down, unbeknownst to either of you, you were that friend he shared his hopes and fears with, through the way he knew best, music.

“No, most people find me hilarious...”

You take a sip of your drink, trying to cover up the sting that his remark actually left. Most of the time you were great at keeping up with anyone’s banter, especially Harry’s, but tonight you weren’t feeling it. His tone had sounded so harsh it almost sounded like he meant it. His features soften when he sees the way your face falls, despite your sarcastic tone.

“‘M sorry. I’m just not in the best mood tonight. Didn’t want to come, but Charlotte…” He shifts to face you, arm retracting slightly around the couch, landing his hand at the edge of your shoulder. His fingers fiddle with themselves absentmindedly, he turns his rings around his fingers and they ever so slightly brush against your shoulder. You don’t mind, you know its his nervous tick that he did whenever he didn’t have something to clink them against.

“Yeah, same here, actually.” Your tuck an out of place hair behind your ear, returning your gaze to Harry, who’s tilting his head at you curiously. “But might as well make the most of it, though. After all, this is our last week before tour starts.” You raise your glass and tilt it towards him before taking a sip.

You really didn’t have a plan, you were just trying to make him feel a little better. It was seldom you saw him so solemn at this type of gathering. He usually was the one bouncing from group to group, entertaining everyone with his dazzling charm and quick wit. Sometimes he would bring a date and spend the night with them in the corner, but that was usually at bigger parties than this. At these types of gatherings you often found yourself talking with Charlotte for most of the night. You were both new additions in the band and you had clicked immediately. You would travel in a pair between different groups and talk with everyone. Sometimes you would tell a humorous anecdote about your life and everyone would laugh wholeheartedly. Your ability to retell a story and make it hilarious every time seemed to be your secret talent. You could make any experience into a ten-minute retelling and it always sounds like the funniest moment of your life. It ranged from your embarrassing audition for Grease as a tween to your supermarket run in with an old acquaintance or B-list celebrity the day before. It didn’t matter what it was, it just always had the entire circle of people laughing and wiping their eyes with joy. You’d laugh a little with themselves, but usually you just had a triumphant smile on your lips for the rest of the night.

He nods, sipping his own drink for the first time since you had settled down beside him. “Well, I’m all ears.”

“What?”

“Give me your suggestions on how to make the most of tonight.”

“Drinking, mostly, was my plan,” you laugh nervously as Harry continues to stare at you intently.

“Mostly?”

“I mean, what do you want me to say? I didn’t think to pack my bouncy castle, my bad.”

He bites back a laugh but lets some air escape his defined nose, before staring with a deadpan face at you.

You like to tease him. You simply liked him. Harry was different from other men you knew. You were pretty sure most people could say that though. Harry was just different. It seemed like no one could not have some sort of affection for him. With the playful friendship the pair of you had, you always skirted the edge of flirtation. But you also didn’t particularly ever want to cross any lines with him. He was the employer of you, technically. He had brought you into his backing band and you wouldn’t do anything to harm that position. As well, at the end of the day you knew Harry. His tendencies and the choices he made.

When you were around him at parties like this, you had to try really hard to keep him at an arm’s length. Because on one hand, you would drink and suddenly the boundaries you put up didn’t seem that important, instead his lips started to look rather inviting, but on the other, you knew that he was extremely emotionally closed off to any relationship that was more than either friendship or a one night stand.

Harry doesn’t give you a response, just swings back his drink. The pair of you sit and drink in silence. Before you know it, Harry and you are five drinks in, finally talking after the second. The pair of you decide to move to the balcony outside and continue your conversation there after the third. After the fourth, you're getting really handsy and by the end of the fifth, Harry’s arm is wrapped tightly around your waist and you're laughing breathlessly into his neck. It looks like he’s just shielding you from the cold night air, but both of you seemed to be enjoying each other’s embrace for other reasons.

Finally catching your breath, you lean back and pant softly as you meet eyes with Harry. His pupils have blown out from the alcohol and dark light. The emerald green barely surrounds the black and you swear there’s flecks of gold or maybe brown in them. Your brows scrunch at the revelation and Harry asks what you’re thinking. You don’t respond, too entranced and drunk to even hear him.

“Oi,” he bops your nose, “What is goin’ on in there, little lady?”

Your hand reaches up and widens Harry’s eye manually. His inebriated state has no qualms about you doing such an odd thing. “Why’s your green not actually green?”

“What?” He asks before moving your hand away from his face, it instead falls to his chest. The pair of you shift until your caged between his body and the balcony’s ledge. You pout as you stare up at him. His skin looks soft and taught over every inch of his face and neck. The urge to kiss him keeps nagging at the back of your mind. The idea keeps creeping up closer and closer and the drunker you are the less likely you are to suppress it.

“Do you want to fuck me?” You blurt out.

“Sure.” Harry isn’t taken aback. He had been thinking about asking for a while, so he was glad you had asked first, made it easier for him.

“Okay, let’s go.”

He takes you back to your place, the pair of you catching a cab the short distance between yours and Charlotte’s flats. No one blinks an eye at the pair of you leaving together. Everyone watched the pair of you sulk all night about being there and only enjoying the other’s company, so they weren’t keen on either of you staying. Charlotte was simply glad the pair of you had stayed for as long as you did.

The two of you walk casually until you’re inside your bedroom. Once inside, Harry throws you on the bed and fucks you. Hard. He’s got you spread out in more ways than you had ever thought possible. He’s got you saying things you had never even dreamed of saying. And he’s got you cumming and screaming more than you could have ever wanted. He enjoys himself as well. He loves the way you feel around him and the way your eyes look up at him while he fucks you straight into the bed. He loves the way you sound whispering dirty things and screaming his name. He loves the feel of your soft skin all over your body as he pushes deep inside you. He loves the way you’re able to rip a guttural moan from him every time he cums. And he cums three times that night. While it wasn’t quiet, he did find that blissful state he had been in desperate need of.

After the third round, Harry feels spent. He brings himself into a sitting position, legs hanging off the edge of your bed. You’re lying in your bed, completely overstimulated, cumming at least twice as many times as Harry. He scratches at the top of his head, his bicep bulging as he folds his arms around himself.

“That was fucking good, Y/N. Just what I needed.”

You can only hum in response.

Then he takes your blanket and lays it over you. After that he begins to stand up, getting ready to grab his things and go.

“You don’t have to go…” your voice raises when you realize what he’s doing.

“Yeah, I do. This was just a one time thing, yeah? I enjoyed it, but you know...”

“Erm, I guess?” You rolled to fully look at him, he was pulling his t-shirt back on now, his marked chest disappearing beneath the white fabric. “Do you really not stay over at your one night stands?”

He thinks about it as he begins with his shoes and his glasses at the same time. “Yes? Usually I don’t know the person and I don’t particularly want to sign an autograph when I leave in the morning. Best to leave immediately afterwards.”

“That was exactly why I wanted you to stay...Shit! No chance you’ll give me an autograph now? Could sign my tit, right next to your hickies.”

He laughs, automatically in a better mood after the catharsis of having sex. It was also a relief for him that you didn’t seem to be weird about the hook up. “Shut up!”

“You’re a twat, Harold.” He groans instinctively at the annoying nickname, not caring about the ‘twat’ part. “But be my guest, you can freeze your arse off while waiting for your cab outside at this hour.”

“Rude..” He mutters, standing in your doorway now. “You wouldn’t actually make your employer stand out in the cold at this time of night. I haven’t even got a jumper. Could get a cold and ruin my voice. ”

“You’re the one who says it’s best to leave immediately. Get on it, mister.”

Your hand makes a shooing movement, but he doesn’t budge. You sigh as he makes a puppy dog face - eyes wide and a puckered pout with his flushed cheeks and lips - playing into your actual kindness, that he knows is somewhere. Your sweetness that you were keeping hidden from Harry right now. Nothing was serious between you so it made sense that you were trying not to let your innate ability to care show as he’s about to walk out on you.

“Ugh, fine. Stop looking at me like that. Just grab one of my coats from the bottom right, they’re all oversized so one should fit.” He doesn’t relent on the face. “And you can stay inside until your cab comes.” You sigh and throw one of your pillows at him. He catches it easily and throws it back, much softer than your throw. “Also never pull the employer card on me again when I’m naked in the bed you just fucked me in,” you call as he looks through your closet.

Returning with a patchwork coat you had thrifted tight over his shoulders, he looks at you seriously, “Yeah sorry about that part. Definitely wasn’t trying to exert my power over you, it sounded better in my head. Meant more like you could ruin my voice and both of our jobs.”

You nod and chuckle slightly, finding how inarticulate Harry could be as an endearing trait. His explanation didn’t actually make it sound better. “The jacket fits.” You say, choosing to move forward from Harry’s weirdness, knowing he didn’t mean any harm from his initial statement.

“Yeah, thanks. I think my cab is here,” He glances at his phone, “So I’ll go...See you?”

“I’m sure.” You smile, “We do in fact work together and will soon be touring the world. Would be a bit weird if I didn’t see you.”

“Right.” He nods and adds a peace sign before he walks out of your sight. You know he’s gone when you hear the door click shut. What an interesting night.

Love on Tour had just started and Harry couldn’t lie. He couldn’t keep his mind off of you. You were both his most recent partner and the best he had had in a while. He found himself rubbing over the spots on his neck and clavicle that you had given particular attention to during the night you had shared together. When he went to bed it was your body he pictured to get himself off. So, after the first show he’s beelining to you at the beginning of the after party. He’s got an adrenaline high and he needs a release. You’re the solution. He’s whispering in your ear, asking if you’d like to meet him in his dressing room. Your eyes study his face when he pulls back and they widen slightly when the realization of what he’s implying dawns on you. Then you’re nodding and excusing yourself from a random conversation five minutes later.

Inside Harry’s dressing room, you find Harry already unbuttoning his shirt. He grabs your face and shoves his lips onto yours once you lock the door. As he kisses you he tries to make one thing very clear, “This doesn’t mean anything.”

“Got it.” You begin to finish Harry’s job of taking off his shirt.

He pulls back to look you in the eye, “Are you okay with that?”

“Jesus fuck, yes, Harry, just shut up and fuck me senseless again!”

He listens to you and begins to kiss down your jaw and neck. His open-mouth kisses leave a searing trail across your skin. He settles on a spot at the base of your neck and begins to suck and nip at it with vigor. You set to work on finishing his job of unbuttoning his shirt. Then you pull off your own shirt, reaching behind you to untie the bows at the back. The new skin exposed grabs Harry’s attention and he moves down to suck over the cleavage of your tits. He’s happy to be back with his ‘bosom friends’. You smack his head when he says it and he chuckles darkly, only sucking harder on them causing you to moan louder than you would like.

Once you’re both in only your underwear, you find your back pressed up against the mirror behind the dressing room counter. Harry’s body is nestled between your spread legs as he kisses down your skin. His fingers dance along the line of your thong as he looks up from beneath his lashes for position, you only push his head closer to your heat in response. He laughs mischievously before tugging them down off your hips.

“Missed this pretty little cunt...All I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout,” He mutters as he begins to latch onto your dripping core.

Your brows shoot up at the thought that Harry’s mind has been stuck on you for the past week. You definitely had thought about your drunken hook up a bit, but hadn’t thought it had left a lasting impression on Harry, you assumed he had that lovely of a night with every person he chose to spend intimate time with. These thoughts are forgotten when Harry’s warm tongue is lapping at your swollen bud. You’re already panting for Harry and now you’re heaving with moans and whimpers leaving your mouth with every lick and nip of his expert mouth.

“Fuck Harry, feels so good,” you whine as his tongue travels down your folds and swirls and dips into your hole.

He moans at your words and the way your legs squeeze at his head. His hands move to spread you open wide to maintain his control and he smirks at the way your body rolls due to the friction of his voice against your pussy.

“Be a good girl f’me,” he growls still pressed against your wet heat.

Your body rolls again as you get closer and closer to your first release. Your bite your lip trying to contain all of the sounds that are trying to escape your mouth. Harry notices the new silence and glances up seeing how you’re trying to behave. As much as he likes you obeying his words, he also wanted to hear how he was pleasuring you.

“Tell me how you feel, princess,” he demands.

“So-so good,” you hiccup as his fingers caress over your folds now as he looks you in the eyes, his lips wet with your slick. He kisses you hard, his tongue diving into your mouth and you kiss back passionately, loving your taste on his tongue.

He pulls back and your hands trail down his chest, swirling around his familiar tattoos and hair that grace his lower torso as you move. He grins, enjoying the feeling of you on him and how he was affecting you.

Soon enough, his cock is finding its way back to your glistening folds, wet with your own liquids as well as his saliva. His mouth waters at the sight. He only pushes into you a few times like this. Then he catches sight of himself in the mirror in front of him and can’t resist. He pulls out and flips you over, your squeal leaving your mouth before you can stop yourself. His dick finds your entrance once again, not wanting to be without the wonderful warmth for any longer than he must.

“Ahhh,” Harry groans when he slips back inside.

Your head throws back on your neck, the feeling of him as well as the sight of him gripping your hair in one hand and your fleshy hip in the other. His rings dig into the skin as he’s able to slam more forcefully in this position. You gasp and whine at his motions. The sounds coming from between your legs are turning you on even more and they seem to make Harry happy too. He picks up the pace and drops the grasp of your hair for a second. Your head falls down as you try to keep yourself up on your elbows.

Gripping both of your hips, Harry growls, “Look at me while I fuck you. C’mon now.”

You moan in response and tear your eyes open to see your reflections in the mirror. One hand goes up to hold onto the mirror to give yourself more traction, causing your back to arch even more. The new position has Harry’s cock slamming into you deeper.

“Fuck!” Harry practically yells and can’t keep himself from landing a harsh slap on your ass. You jump forward at the sting but his other hand keeps the pace steady. He keeps burying himself into you all the way to his base, his balls slapping at your now slick spread thighs. He rubs over the red handprint he had just left on your ass. You whimper and bite your lip, truly enjoying the sensation.

Still staring into the mirror as Harry commanded, your eyes water slightly and Harry makes eye contact with you through the mirror. You smile widely and he grins back. “This feels so fucking good. Your pussy takes me so well. Fuck…” Harry babbles, still pistoning into you. You had noticed how vocal he was the first time you had fucked, but thought it had just been the alcohol. Apparently not. But you didn’t mind, you much preferred it to partners who barely spoke or didn’t even moan. Like how were you supposed to know what was going on in their minds? With Harry, you knew he was having a good time.

A few more heavy thrusts and you felt yourself nearing the edge. Your panting was getting faster, exceeding the speed of Harry’s thrusts and he could also feel you were close. Your cunt began squeezing him tighter so he hooked a hand under your knee and brought it onto the table. He hunched over you slightly and snaked his hand to your clit. “C’mon darling, I know you're close. Can feel that little cunt putting a choke hold on my cock.” He rubs at your clit with the vigor of strumming a quick paced song on the guitar. It’s enough to overtake your senses and the laugh that had bubbled from his words turns into your orgasm moan. You try to muffle it into the arm that is holding you against the mirror to avoid a full on scream because it feels that good. You felt like you were having your first ever orgasm, it felt that new to you.

A few more thrusts and you’ve come down from it, but Harry still hasn’t finished. It’s your turn to be the partner coaxing the other to get off. “Faster, Har. Want you to cum too.” He grunts, picking back up the pace. He had slowed to let you ride out your stay. “That’s it...want you to cum in me. Your cock feels so fucking good.” You whine, meaning every word. He smiles again at you and closes his eyes, focusing on chasing his high. You watch as his smile widens to that open mouth grin, “Fuck,” he almost whispers. And there it is. There’s a twitch in his hips that mirrors his expression and then he’s pulling out and cumming on your back. His voice is now even lower and raspier than before as he babbles how good that was and how tight your pussy was. It was sweet nothings, but extremely explicit and you sighed heavily, feeling a small orgasm wash over you again. His final thrusts and voice pushing you off the cliff again easily.

The two of you take a minute to bring your breathing back to normal and Harry goes to clean your back off.

“So..how do you feel about maybe doing this regularly?” Harry asks sheepishly as he begins to pull his pants back on.

“Like a friends with benefits kind of thing? Or bandmates with benefits, rather.” You laugh breathlessly at your not really funny joke, but you’re now truly exhausted. From the show and the fuck, you felt thouroughly worked out.

“I guess that’s what it is, yeah.”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“You’re honestly so chill, Y/N. It’s fuckin’ hot.”

You laugh and flip your hair dramatically. You’re only in your bra and panties right now and Harry licks his lips, finding your playfulness to be a turn on. “What can I say?” You laugh.

“But like I said before...it’s just sex.” He’s buttoning up his shirt and looking at your reflection through the mirror now. He watches you slip the pants you had been wearing back on.

“Oh, Harold, I know.” On cue, he groans and turns around to face you after fixing his mused hair in the mirror. Interrupting yourself, you turn your back to Harry, “Can you tie this, sorry it’s hard for me to get the -” Harry walks to you without any hesitation and begins tying the silk ribbons on the back of your shirt. “Thanks. Anyway,” you turn to face him when he’s finished and you place both of your palms on his chest. “Trust me, I know you’ve got your issues and I’m not looking to be the girl that tries to change you. I know what this is. I only ask that you let me know when you sleep with other people, because once you do, you won’t need me.” Harry nods and you pat your hands against him. You both smile and go your separate ways when you leave the dressing room.

Harry and you fucked almost every night on tour. Sometimes it was right after, on the counter in his dressing rooms. Sometimes it was later in the evening in his hotel room or yours. He stopped leaving immediately after your hook ups. He never kicked you out of his room so he decided it was fine for him to stay in yours. Especially because you weren’t a stranger who would be weird with him in the morning. He also didn’t like trekking through the hotel halls late at night.

The first few times you stayed in the same bed, the two of you stayed on opposite sides of the bed, not touching after you were finished engaging in your sexual endeavours. Rigid bodies against the edges of the mattress. Then one particularly long night, filled with multiple rounds, Harry was so exhausted from his performance on stage and off that he collapsed on top of you. He fell asleep there and you didn’t particularly mind. It felt nice to be slightly compressed and held. He shifted in his sleep and when he woke up he wasn’t upset to find you nestled into his side with his arms wrapped around you. After that, cuddling sort of became part of the routine. After you were done having sex, Harry or you would get up to clean up and bring back waters. Then you would settle in his arms. Sometimes in a spooning position and sometimes you cradled softly into his chest. You didn’t talk about it, it just happened.

One night it was your head directly on top of his butterfly tattoo, one leg thrown over his lower torso and your arm snuggly wrapped around his middle. He liked to pet your hair when you laid against his chest in that way. His fingers would fiddle with the strands and you liked it because he usually took off his rings before he would do it and his hands felt so soft and delicate against you. Harry liked the way he felt when he would hold you afterwards. It was calming to fall asleep against your soft skin and feel your fingertips trace lyrics to songs he wasn’t sure the name of against his own.

No one knew about how your friendship with Harry worked. To the rest of the world, you seemed to be someone who had become another close friend in the band. You were similar to Mitch in many respects. Except for when Harry winked at you during a show, it wasn’t a friendly wink, it was a ‘this song makes me horny and I can’t wait to relieve the pressure by fucking you later’ kind of wink. You knew this because Harry had gone over and whispered it in your ear during a quick break, when you had only looked at him weirdly after he did it.

Before the show tonight, you pulled Harry aside, “So what are we thinking tonight? I feel like I might want to ride you...Haven’t been on top in a while.” In the darkness of the backstage, you crane your neck to take Harry’s earlobe between your teeth. He groans softly and grips your hips to guide them against his for a second. “Sounds fuckin’ fantastic, love.” You twitch back, releasing him immediately at the word. You always told him not to call you that and he tried to reason with you, that it was just something he called people. But you disliked it a lot, adding it to the growing list of rules the pair of you had for the do’s and don'ts of being friends with benefits with each other.

“Harold,” you groan and he steps back at that pet name. While he hated this, you refused to let him put it on the list because it didn’t cross any lines with your physical arrangement. Not that there was any physical list to put it on, it was more of a theoretical list that the two of you would speak of occasionally.

“Sorry.” He says eventually, “Didn’t mean it.” You both laugh.

You think about how other relationships were sometimes desperate to hear their partner express their love for them and you believe you’re grateful for the simplicity of your arrangement. The term relationship regarding what you and Harry were doing was also in the ‘don’t’ category on the list. If either of you were being honest, there should be no need for a list and you should be questioning yourselves why you felt the need to set boundaries if one part of it was physical and the other part was your friendship and job. If it truly was just physical why were boundaries constantly needing to be set and followed? But right now honesty was not in the cards.

After the show Harry gets delayed with press or fans or something that you don’t really care about. You barely read the text that he sends, only caring about the ‘sorry got held up’ and the ‘be there in thirty’.

You let yourself into his room and wait on the bed, flipping through your phone, completely unbothered by the rest of the world. When you hear a knock on the door, you don’t think twice about getting up and opening the door. You only realize your terrible mistake when it’s Mitch and not Harry standing at what you’re also just realizing isn’t your door, but instead Harry’s.

“Shit!” you say under your breath as Mitch looks at you confused.

The room is dark behind you because Harry would have just entered and gotten down to business. He might turn on a side lamp, but you hadn’t felt the need to have light on while you waited. Forgetting all of that, you had just gone to the door and opened it.

Mitch tucks some of his hair behind his ear as he stares at you. “Is Harry here?”

“Er..No?” It comes out as a question. You rub the back of your ankle with your foot, feeling nervous.

“Is he actually not here or?” Mitch trails off, narrowing his eyes at you.

“No, no he’s really not here. I’m waiting for him, too.” You rush your words, but try to remain calm.

“You have a key to his room. And you’re waiting in the dark.” He says. They’re not questions and you’re not sure just how guilty you look.

“Yeah!” You try to come up with a non suspicious response, hoping there’s a way to still salvage your’s and Harry’s secret, “He gave me his key because he wanted to talk about something and I kept it dark because my eyes always hurt after shows. Kind of like a migraine.” You scratch at your head and smile, trying to convince Mitch. He seems to believe you as he nods slowly and opens his eyes more.

There’s a little bit of an awkward silence and Mitch shifts his weight between his feet, looking at you still. Just as you're about to invite Mitch to come wait inside with you, Harry steps out of the elevator and begins to walk down the hall. His key card is already in hand and your eyes widen. Harry’s expression mirrors yours when he realizes Mitch is standing outside of his door and that you are standing with him. “Mitch!” Harry says, placing his hand on Mitch’s shoulder and sliding his key card into his back pocket with the other. Mitch turns to Harry without seeing him put away the other key card and you look at the pair of them.

“I was just telling Mitch how you gave me your key card so we could talk about...that thing.” You interject, flicking the lights on in Harry’s room as casually as possible. Harry shoots you a look about how you couldn’t come up with an actual reason for being there. You shrug your shoulders helplessly.

Mitch looks between the two of you and feels some weird tension and he’s not sure if it's always there and he’s just noticing or if something is going on right now.

“Yeah, well, I came to stop by to talk about the riff in Canyon Moon. Something is wonky with it.”

“Oh! Sure,” Harry nods to Mitch and then glances at you, “Y/N, we can talk about that other thing later. It’s not that important anyway.” His tone is so casual and nonchalant. You stare at him, thinking he can’t be serious. You had been almost sure he would send Mitch away, but instead you were being kicked to the curb. When he doesn’t say sike or anything of the sort, you nod. “Okay,” then you mumble a ‘good luck’ with figuring out the problem with the song. Mitch walks in the door, but Harry’s eyes stay fixed on your figure retreating down the hallway. He watches you disappear and is only pulled from his thoughts when Mitch calls his name from the couch in the room.

After reaching your floor, you key into your room and get ready for bed. Just as you’re about to drift off to sleep, completely alone for once in a long time, there’s another knock. This time you check the peephole, a habit you realized you were going to have to get better at. It’s Harry. You open the door and walk away immediately once he’s entered the room.

“Why are you here?”

“Thought we could still...” He follows you into the room, trying to make out your face in the darkness.

“I’m not in the mood anymore.” Your tone gives away your annoyance. You couldn’t hide that you were mad at Harry for sending you away. It made you feel weird. The way he did it so easily made you feel like you were extremely disposable and unwanted.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he lays down beside you. You turn to face him when he places a hand on the small of your back. You’re face to face and your noses are almost brushing. It’s not really possible to see each other’s features, but after months of hooking up you knew each other’s faces pretty well. You could reach out and pinpoint all of Harry’s freckles and moles on his face and neck right now and be correct. He could likely do the same. The theory is proven correct when he reaches out and his hand dances down your cheek. “Just thought it would be less suspicious if I didn’t get rid of him. Couldn’t make him wait either…”

“I know,” your voice is small and soft, just above a whisper, “I forgive you.” You scoot closer to him and Harry instinctively wraps his arm around you, bringing you tightly into him. You sigh into his neck and he shivers at your warm breath on his slightly clammy skin. When you lick your lips, they brush lightly against his skin. He laughs at the feeling, so you decide to press an intentional kiss to the hollow in his neck. In response, he presses a kiss to your hairline, his lips slightly chapped after the concert.

The kisses are tender, filled with that thing neither of you dare attribute to anything the two of you did in the dark. The word you told him time and time again to not call you. So is just about every touch and word that has been exchanged in this room since Harry entered it. You fall asleep wrapped up in his arms, a soft smile resting on both of your faces. Neither of you seem to mind that you didn’t actually have sex tonight or anything even close to it.

When you wake up you feel especially well rested. You shift around and realize your bed is empty besides you. It depended on the day, but it was always a toss up between Harry being there when you woke up or not. However, lately, you had found it was usually the former. You would linger longer and so would Harry in each other’s rooms, lounging in each other’s embrace under the soft glow of the morning light peaking through whatever windows the room had. Today you were cold at his absence. Then you look up and realize you aren’t completely alone. Harry is standing at the end of your bed, staring down at his phone, smiling.

“Hey.”

You wait for his reply, but he doesn’t look up from his phone. “Hey, Harold,” you repeat. His head snaps up, a grimace on his face at the name. He slips his phone in his pocket and ruffles his hair. “Hey.” He finally responds. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Okay.”

Neither of you seem to find it necessary to talk about what happened last night. Harry definitely seemed a little off to you this morning, but you try to shake it from your thoughts. There was no reason to be upset with him being quiet. He didn’t owe you anything, you hadn’t even slept together last night, so if anything it was weird he stayed as long as he did.

It was the second night at the Forum in Los Angeles. This means no travelling necessary. No day off either, tomorrow you’d have a day off before the third and final show at the venue though.

Harry and you were talking normally at the venue, mostly about the setlist - him and Mitch had changed something for whatever reason last night, which was fine. Your banter was to a minimum, but you were trying to convince yourself that nothing was off. Even though it felt like something was different, you couldn’t place your finger on what it was, so you thought it was best to ignore it.

When Harry is about to go out on stage, you don’t pull him aside and when he introduces the members of the band to the audience, he doesn’t say anything fun or silly about you. He doesn’t wink or come up to you at any point in the performance. It’s so unusual the rest of your bandmates are giving you funny looks. Charlotte looks at you from across your keyboard in a way that she’s asking if you’re okay. You shake your head at everyone trying to signal that you’re fine.

Mitch goes over to Harry and whispers in his ear to check in with him, Harry looks at him with a bright smile on his face and says “of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Mitch looks between the pair of you, thinking back to last night and how weird the pair of you were being then. Maybe it dawns on him then what might be going on between the two of you, but if he did, he wouldn’t mention it for a long time.

You falter a bit on your back up vocals tonight. You’re trying to give it your all, like always, but for some reason your voice isn’t sounding the way you want it. About halfway through the show, when your voice comes out the exact opposite of how you would like, Harry finally gives you a second glance. His face practically emotionless, save for the single arched brow. He’s concerned, but not concerned enough where he would go over to you. He just doesn’t understand why you keep missing the right note tonight. You make a shake of your hand to say I don’t know either. He just shrugs and turns back around to continue the show, his lively smile returning while he turns his head.

After the show, Charlotte, Sarah, and you are all checking in, going over what had happened during the show in general. They’re both worried about your voice and you’re simply trying to tell them that it was just an off night. Nothing was wrong. As long as you told everyone else that, then it might turn out to be true.

“It’s fine, maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night,” you fib, having gotten more sleep last night than most other nights on this tour. They both nod, seeming to take that as a reasonable answer.

Then Charlotte gets quieter as she whispers to the three of you, “Did you guys notice anything weird with Harry? He was super lively, but he barely interacted with you, Y/N, which is so unlike him...”

Sarah nods while you look skeptically on. Sarah adds, “He kept looking up to the boxes, too. More than usual at least. I don’t know though…” She trails off and you cross your arms over your chest, not really enjoying the conversation topic. “I mean, what do you think, Y/N?” Sarah adds.

Your eyes dance between the two women, your fellow bandmates, your friends. You sometimes wished you could share with them what you were doing with Harry. The secret was fun, but it’s also nice to be able to share with your girlfriends about the guy you’re seeing, even if it is a casual thing. The friendly gossip of it all is something fun to share, but sadly that was another thing you couldn’t do. You sigh, “You never really know what’s going on in his mind, y’know. He’s just Harry.” Your response is half-assed at best. You figure they’ll both give you shit for the non-answer you just supplied, but instead someone else speaks for them.

“I am in fact, just Harry.” He says and you swivel around to find yourself almost chest to chest with him. Charlotte laughs while Sarah simply smiles. Your eyes are huge as you stare up at him and you hope your blush doesn’t come out too strongly after being caught talking about Harry by himself. “Enlighten me on when I was being ‘just Harry’ though?” You bite your lip and take a step back from him, forming more of a line with the other women. He shrugs when no one offers a response, laughing lightly.

“Oh and Y/N, I can’t talk about that thing again tonight, I’ve got-”

“A date?” Charlotte asks, trying to understand why Harry was acting a little different tonight still. The part that Sarah had mentioned about him looking up into the boxes had given her the idea that he might have plans with someone after the show. Harry scratches his head, his hair slightly wet with sweat right after the show. He’s taken off his coat so he’s just in the almost completely unbuttoned, sweat soaked shirt he had been wearing underneath. It sticks tight to his skin and you can make out all the muscle lines that hide beneath the fabric that you usually get to caress. Your eyes flit from his body back to his face when he speaks again.

“Erm, I wasn’t going to phrase it like that...but yes, I suppose, it’s a date.” He says finally, he avoids your eye contact and you look at him very confused, trying to hide the hurt. He shoves his hands in his pockets trying to look and sound as casual as possible and ignore the strain he sees on your face. Is that what had held him up yesterday? Making plans with someone else? And he hadn’t told you until now? The past twenty four hours stung a little bit more now that you knew why Harry was being so distant. It simply felt icky finding out this way and it didn’t even seem like he was going to tell you it was a date.

“Okay,” you say simply and walk away. You hear Charlotte asking him details about his date, but you try actively not to hear any of it. Sarah watches you walk away and sees the way you wrap your arms around yourself to comfort you. She feels a twinge of sadness as she watches the scene unfold, seeing something she hadn’t realized was there before.

Harry doesn’t text or call you that night. You hang out with everyone else for a little while in Charlotte’s room before heading to bed, saying you think you need an early night tonight. Before you’re able to walk out of the door, Mitch stops you. “I heard Harry blew off whatever conversation the two of you have been trying to have again. Just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” You try to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace. There is no conversation Harry is blowing off, it’s simply you. “It’s fine. Like he said yesterday, it’s not important.” Mitch nods, but still looks at you with concern. What he had seen last night, then on stage today, and what Sarah had told him about your interaction after the show it all strung together in his mind. It didn’t seem unimportant at all. But he didn’t know how he could tell you that. He felt like he should talk to Harry about the way you looked when you left Charlotte’s room tonight, but he didn’t know how to bring it up to him either.

You don’t realize you’re crying until you're in the elevator, and it’s slowly rising to your floor of the hotel. You’re only one level up, but it feels like an eternity in there. You already weren’t a fan of elevators, but this ride felt impossibly worse. The walls are all made up of mirrors and you see yourself in the reflection, but you don’t exactly recognize the girl in there. Your eyes are tired from the show, dark circles already formed. Your hands are aching, clenching and unclenching on their own accord. Your body is slumped against the back wall, likely leaving a slight imprint from the smoke residue and dust on your clothes. Worst of all are the tears running down your face, smudging at your makeup, the black mascara you had applied dripping down in sinister raindrops against your skin. The sad girl stares back at you as you sniffle slightly, confused at what you’re seeing. “Why are you crying?” you ask yourself, your voice creaking and then breaking at the end as you struggle to get out the word ‘crying’ before a sob wracks through you. You roll your eyes when your reflection offers no explanation for itself. You laugh at your own patheticness and try to shake the feelings you’re experiencing.

Inside your room now, you flop on the bed and stare straight up at the ceiling. Your arms spread to your sides and your legs lay limply below you. You think about every night before last, every night since the tour started. Every night where you weren’t alone, where you were with Harry. Your mind flits to last night, how Harry’s lips had ghosted over your skin after his apology. How you had told him you forgave him and it had felt so peaceful, so simple. It was all so easy. Thinking about him and the things the two of you did together brought a smile to your face, unbeknownst to you. When you realize it’s there, your face drops immediately, deciding not to think about Harry.

But trying to not think about Harry makes you only think about him more and what you think about him now most definitely doesn’t bring a smile to your face. You’re thinking about him out on his date with some person you chose to learn nothing about. Maybe out of fear of what is happening right now. By knowing nothing about the person, you can’t compare yourself to them. Can’t see what’s different about them that would make Harry go out on a date with them. But it doesn’t matter who they are or what they look like because at the end of it all you know one thing for certain. They’re not you. You correct yourself, you know two things actually, because you also know that Harry chose to be with them instead of you tonight.

You fall asleep with tear stained cheeks that night and absolutely nothing positive on your mind. You want to sleep but know it only brings whatever is bound to happen tomorrow, which doesn’t seem very promising.

It’s noon when you wake up and you wake to a knocking on your door. You grumble and throw a sweatshirt over your body to hide the underwear you slept in. Not remembering your new habit, you swing the door open without any hesitation to find Harry. He looks wide awake and happy, the way he almost always looks, a fresh beautiful flower of a man. You look at him groggily, “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“Because I was asleep?” You tilt your head and look at him incredulously. “What about this,” you gesture to your appearance, “looks like I just went for a 3 mile jog for fun and I love the morning?”

“Can I come in?” He ignores everything you just said and enters the room when you leave the door to get back in bed. You often did that with him, you don’t know why, but when he asked to come in the room it was just simpler to let him in then say anything. He knew what you meant.

He sits at the edge of the bed as you reclaim your spot in the middle of it, tucked slightly under the covers, but still sitting up. “How was your date?” You try to sound nonchalant and it seems to work. Harry doesn’t notice your tense figure, but you notice how he tenses up when you ask.

“Good…Her name was-” You don’t let him finish, you already know the answer to this next question and you don’t need her name in order to ask it, “Did you fuck her?”

He’s silent, green eyes staring straight at you. You meet his gaze, your eyes almost burning holes into him. His eyes are begging you to not make him answer the question, he doesn’t want this to end, even if he also didn’t want the commitment he had felt himself exhibiting the other night.

When he had come to your room the other night after Mitch had almost caught you, he knew he shouldn’t have stayed. He didn’t want you to feel bad so he had come to apologize, but when the pair of you didn’t have sex, he should have left. But he didn’t, he stayed and it wasn’t for you, it was for himself. It was for him to hold you in his arms because he liked to. But when he woke up the next morning he knew he needed to leave. Solely cuddling wasn’t part of your arrangement together. It’s probably on the list of don'ts that the pair of you had. So after he realized the line he had willingly crossed with you, he quickly sent a text to Jeff who had tried to set him up with a model they were acquaintances with the night before - the reason he had gotten held up. Harry had initially declined, not very interested in seeing anyone else but you. But looking back on that choice in the light of day seemed to solidify what this relationship was - a relationship - and Harry didn’t like that. The commitment wasn’t part of the plan, so he told Jeff to set that date up for after the second show at the Forum and give the woman a ticket. That’s why he was smiling at his phone the morning after only cuddling with you, that’s why he didn’t joke around with you during the show, and that’s why he wasn’t in your bed last night.

You watch him expectantly, silently waiting for his answer, your veins cold as ice. He finally starts his answer and he wants to make it clear that it wasn’t as good with the other woman, but he’s not sure how to work that part in. He’s not sure how to explain to you it meant nothing if your arrangement also apparently meant nothing. You barely even let him get in a sentence. “Yes, but it was just a one time-”

“Alright.”

“What?” He doesn’t understand what you mean when you nod your head and cut him off.

“I told you at the beginning, Harry. Tell me when you sleep with someone else because when you do this is over. It doesn’t matter if she’s the love of your life or a one night stand. I will not be a backup plan, so if you’re able to find other people to sleep with, you don’t need to be sleeping with me.”

He sits in silence for a moment, his jaw dropped open slightly. He’s unable to keep it shut as his mind races about what to say. “Are you mad with me?”

“No, I’m fine. This was just sex. Charlotte will be happy that I’ll be going out with her more.”

Harry’s brow furrows as you shift away from him on the bed, grabbing your phone and beginning to flick through it. You feel numb and you’d like to not think about why.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks because he does care about you, worry is written all over his face. He just can’t commit, not now.

“What would I be mad about, Harry?” You look up and your eyes widen at him, silently asking him to truthfully say why you should be so upset about this revelation. You always knew it would eventually come to an end, you just hadn’t expected so soon. You hadn’t known the last time would be the last time and it broke your heart even if you knew it shouldn’t.

He shifts to reach his hand out to touch your exposed knee. You move away from him and he sighs, looking exasperated. “I- I don’t know. It just seems like we should talk about this.”

“You didn’t even think it was necessary to tell me you were going on a date last night, so I think it’s best if we just left it at ‘it’s fine, see you around’.”

He spreads his hands out across the sheets, examining his rings and painted nails thoroughly. You’re right, he doesn’t really want to talk about this. Well, more so, he’s conflicted. He would like to talk enough that you want to continue your arrangement but he doesn’t want to talk about feelings or emotions. Even if he has those feelings and emotions, they’re just not part of the things he’d like to talk about. “But-” You set your phone down at his first word, “Were you even going to tell me you fucked someone else today if Charlotte hadn’t asked you if it was a date last night? Would you just have come to my room tonight and acted like nothing had changed?”

“I would have told you.”

“Sure.”

“I swear I would’ve. I would never break a promise to you.”

“But you would make a decision that affects the both of us without telling me until afterwards?” Your voice breaks a little and you beg yourself not to cry right now.

“I thought you said this was just sex?”

You laugh humorlessly, in disbelief, “Of course it’s not, Harry! And it hasn’t been for a long time and that’s why you got scared and went and fucked someone else.” He looks at you blankly, unsure what to say, knowing you’re right. You continue, “But I also told you at the beginning of this, that I wasn’t going to try to change you. So this is me not trying to change you.” You sigh when he still says nothing, his expression completely unreadable, even to you. “Why couldn’t you have left it at ‘it’s fine’?” You say finally, barely above a whisper.

He blinks a few times after your final question. He flexes his hand one more time and then stands up from the bed. He adjusts his clothes and stares at you. You feel helpless, but you’re still trying to look pulled together, even after your outburst. You stare back. A thousand words floating through your heads, all the things you want to say and likely never will.

“I know, I’m…” he pauses, trying to get himself to say it, but he can’t. He can’t admit that he’s completely ruined whatever messed up paradise you had created together. “I’ll see you later.”

The apology or lack there of hangs in the air as he walks silently out your door. You don’t move, you barely even blink, still staring at the spot he had just occupied. Your breath finally escapes you, a large sigh. Then some nervous laughter. It was over...just like that. But things like this, left like this are never really over.

It’s awkward for a good amount of the rest of the tour. You hang out with your bandmates more and Harry rarely ever comes out with them after the shows. He either hangs out with Mitch on his own or is going out with random people he knows on the road. You and him speak, but it’s never a lot or about anything relatively meaningful. It’s not the fun back and forth of before or the fiery heat of sneaking around. You try to be normal with him, act like his casual friend and bandmate.

He does his best to do the same, but it’s difficult for him. He doesn’t know how to talk to you anymore. He misses being with you, but can’t bring himself to fix it. He doesn’t do much to right his wrongs with you. He also doesn’t even know what he would want if he did apologize. It scared him to think about the step that came after ‘sorry’ so he saved himself the trouble and never did that part either. One night he texts you: “I’m trying, it’s just hard.” and that’s it. You don’t give him a response, he doesn’t need one. You know he’s trying and he knows you know.

Near the end of the tour, he comes out with the rest of you for drinks one night. Only Mitch is between the two of you in the booth, so you feel closer to Harry than you’ve felt in a long time. The group of you are chatting and having a good time. You somehow get onto a story from when you were still in college. You explain how you had narrowly avoided getting Chlamydia right before your Christmas break junior year. You act out the conversations you imagined would have happened at all your Christmas events if you had indeed gotten it. Your impressions of your mother, father, and sister have everyone laughing the most. Harry is shaking with laughter from your story and you smile at him in appreciation when he says, “That is the funniest story I’ve heard in a long fucking time.”

The rest of the night goes really well, for the most part. No one bickers or is short with each other. Everyone is laughing and drinks are flowing. Eventually Mitch gets up to go to the bathroom and you feel Harry slide back into the booth closer to you after letting Mitch out. Your hand had taken up residence next to your thigh, resting on the vinyl of the booth. You sense something next to it now and notice Harry’s hand is resting close beside it. He shifts his hand closer when he sees that you’re looking down at it. He’s almost touching you and you look up to his eyes, wondering if he’ll close the distance. He makes an imperceptible shake of his head, but you know what he means. As you’re about to shift your hand so that your pinky connects with his, Mitch returns and your head shoots up to his figure. You instantly remove your hand from the vinyl and shift closer to Charlotte. Harry gets up, but doesn’t sit back down once Mitch is settled. He instead walks off to get another drink, risking one last look at the table where he makes eye contact with you, but he doesn’t come back. Mitch informs everyone that Harry went back to the hotel because “he was tired” after Harry doesn’t return and Mitch gets a text. You roll your eyes, sure that you saw him slip out of the side door with a woman he found at the bar after he had gotten his drink. If that’s what ‘tired’ looked like on Harry, it was fine.

You start to speak to Harry on a more regular basis after that night out. It’s not funny or lighthearted. It’s just ‘I saw this song the other day, thought you might like to listen’. It went back and forth, it wasn’t everyday but it was something. The last text between the two of you before you began sharing songs again was his ‘I’m trying it’s just hard’ text that he had sent randomly one night. Then after one of you would listen, you would see each other at sound check and mention the song and what you thought about it. It can be noted that it was Harry who sent the first song.

For Harryween, Adam couldn’t be there. He has some family emergency the day of and doesn’t come with the rest of you to Madison Square Garden or the hotel you were staying at. Thankfully, Charlotte also plays keys and you can play bass. The band had to shift around some things on stage and make minimal changes to the setlist since you weren’t rehearsed on the covers Harry was doing. You spent the whole day running through the chords of those songs with Mitch, trying to memorize them so you didn’t mess it up during the show.

It was weird because for Harryween the setlist was switched up a little from the regular set for Love On Tour. Harry was playing the entire new album as well as half of the first album, Medicine, some of his other unreleased stuff, and about six covers, including old One Direction songs. It was going to be a long show and a challenge for you.

Before the show, Harry pulls you aside, to a dark corner backstage, and your mind flits back to the last time you had been in this type of position. The last time he had called you ‘love’, the last time you bit his earlobe - which always drove him crazy, the last time he ground his hips against yours, those and more and you had no idea that it was the last. By then you had already had sex with Harry for the last time, kissed his lips for the last time. It made your heart race to be so close to him and so alone once again. But it’s nowhere near the same as it once was. You shake the memories from your mind and look up expectantly at him.

“Have you got this?” He asks seriously, tone concerned. Of course it’s a music question, nothing more. Like it always was now.

“Yeah, of course.” His stare is unwavering and you try not to falter from it.

“I can get someone else to cover tomorrow, it was just such a short notice today. You know bass really well too, it made sense.”

“I’ve got this. Seriously, don’t worry, Harold.” You pat his chest lightly and for once Harry smiles at the sound of your nickname for him. You had stopped using it after the end of your arrangement. It never felt right to use when you were talking about music, and that was about the only time you had been talking. In this moment though, it felt right. His warm, large hands held your upper arms as you stared up into his big eyes. You missed staring into them, the shimmering emerald of his irises were constantly intriguing. You instinctively reach up to move back a curl that has fallen onto his forehead. He doesn’t shy away from your touch and continues to smile down at you.

“Y’haven’t called me that in forever.” He grins, his lips a shiny pink from the lip balm he had on.

“No, I suppose I haven’t. But where was the groan? The whole point is to annoy you.” You smile coyly. He tips his head back and laughs, releasing your arms from his grasp as he laughs wholeheartedly.

Then he does a soft groan, a playful sound, “How was that?”

“Eh. I’ll give you a four out of ten. Not enough emotion behind it.” You slide from the area the two of you have been occupying and make your way onto the stage to start dealing with the bass you would be playing. You hear Harry call out to you, “I think I deserve at least a five, maybe even a six!” You turn back for a second to look at him with an unimpressed expression and shake your head no. He laughs again and you hear him even when you walk out onto the stage. You smile to yourself as you pick up the bass.

When he introduces the band, he waits to talk about you last. “And sadly this evening Mr. Adam Prentergest, our usual fabulous bassist, was unable to attend our fancy dress party! However! Our lovely Y/N L/N is also a superb bassist and was kind enough to step into his place. - Anything to add?” He saunters across the stage to you and you laugh kindly, feeling at ease in this part of the stage even though you were usually on the opposite side and further back from the crowd. You nod at Harry and he leans his portable mic towards your lips. You wet them quickly and eye Harry before turning out to the crowd. “Just please go easy on me if the bass sounds a bit wonky. It wasn’t on the job description that I’d be playing songs I didn’t know, with a few hours notice, on not my main instrument.” You say this in a kind of list format, holding up your fingers as you tick off all the ways that this was out of your comfort zone. You scratch your head dramatically after you’re finished and the whole crowd laughs and cheers. The rest of your bandmates chuckle along and Harry nods and smiles at you.

“You’ll do great, love.” He leans into your ear and says without the microphone. Then he winks and turns to go back to the center of the stage. You press your lips together to contain your smile, both happy and concerned about the flip your stomach just did.

The show is going great. Harry is killing it with the crowd. Everything is electric. You’re entirely focussed on your bass playing, but Harry has been coming over every so often to do something fun or have you tell a joke.

“She’s truly the funniest person I know! And I know a fair amount of people I think.” Harry says as he walks over to you have you tell another joke. Mitch has been looking at you and Harry interacting all night and he’s sure that it isn’t your different position that has him coming over and talking to you so much tonight. Something has definitely changed once again. First the pair of you were always together and having fun, then it was silence and stolen glances that neither of you realized you were taking, now it was back to the beginning.

“That’s because you think puns are part of the top tier levels of comedy.” You say easily, “Here, I can guarantee Harry will love this and the rest of you will likely groan.” Then you stop and act as if you’re thinking for a little, everyone’s waiting expectantly. “Sorry, thinking...Well, I’ve got some skeleton puns I could do, they’re very humerus or y’know classic vampire ones..eh but those ones kind of suck. What do you think, Harry?” You look out at the crowd, face deadpan, as Harry laughs beside you. You roll your eyes playfully and push him back to the center of the stage. Leaning into your own mic now, you say, “I told you.” That’s when everyone laughs. Harry throws another look at you over his shoulder and laughs a little more, his smile wide and eyes bright.

A little over half way through the night, it’s time for ‘to be so lonely’. You already knew the bass chords for it before today and you were confident in yourself by now. It wasn’t as hard a song so you were happy for the little break. This song allowed you to not be looking down at the notes you had stuck to the floor in front of you. Harry’s voice comes in after Mitch’s intro and you watch the way his lips move against his mic. You laugh a little as you watch the crowd yell the first “arrogant son of a bitch” line. You used to not particularly like when people did that, but after it had ended with Harry you had started to enjoy it a bit more. Having those people yell the words you couldn’t, but truly felt about him sometimes, was cathartic. Tonight you weren’t angry with him, but you enjoyed the energy in the room when everyone said it. We’ve all got our own ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ that we want to scream at sometimes. Tonight yours wasn’t Harry for the first time in a long time. The song moves along and Harry takes the microphone off its stand, he walks towards your side of the stage. When the lyrics get to:

“I miss the shape of your lips, your wit, it’s just a trick, this is it so I’m sorry”

Harry isn’t looking at the crowd, he’s looking straight at you. You don’t understand the way he’s looking at you. Or maybe you don’t want to understand it. This song, its lyrics, explains Harry really well. You saw the relationship you had with him in the words. Maybe not precisely, but a part of it was in it. Harry had unknowingly foretold your lives with his words. You know he has trouble connecting and committing, you know his issues, and you accept them. But you knew what had happened between the two of you was far more serious than meaningless sex and you knew Harry couldn’t bring himself to be that serious. He ran off and that was fine, but the face that he couldn’t even apologize hurt you the most. But the song lays it all out for you, he’s not one to be able to apologize quickly. The fact that he looks at you and means the apology he sings in the song for you, it’s a big step, but it’s not enough. The banter, the technical apology, it was all a good start, but it’s just that - the beginning. If Harry wants to make things better with you, a lot more needs to be discussed. So when you sing backing vocals for the following chorus you mean the words for Harry completely.

“Don’t call me baby again, you got your reasons, I know that you’re trying to be friends. I know you mean it, but don’t call me baby again it’s hard for me to go home and be so lonely”

His eyes flick to you again and see your lips moving around the words as you play the bass. He sees the emotion in your face and understands what you’re saying. It’s hard for you to go to your room at night and be alone while he’s out with someone else. It’s hard for him to act like everything’s all fine and perfect, back to normal, because for you it isn’t really. He can’t call you ‘love’ and tell the world you’re funny and expect it to be enough. He can’t sing his sorry that was initially for someone else to you and expect you to accept it. And he knows it, too.

After the show everyone decides they’re exhausted and need to rest before tomorrow. You all planned to celebrate the whole day and you knew it was going to be a wicked Halloween. Knowing this, you’re surprised with the knock on your door after about an hour of being back at the hotel. You’ve given up the habit you had once hoped to cultivate and swing the door open haplessly. Truly having no idea who to expect, you are still surprised to find the man standing before you.

“Mitch.”

“We need to talk.” He stares down at you, his shoulders slumped from tiredness.

“Come in,” you usher him in when you hear the urgency of his voice. He saunters in before you and you close the door. You move to the small couch in the room and sit down. Your hands gesture for him to sit as well, but he shakes his head. He stays standing and brings a hand up to smooth his hair back on the right side. His eyes staying on the floor and flickering up to you every so often.

“What is going on with you and Harry?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on Y/N. You’re seemingly best friends with him for a good portion of tour, then you’re barely on speaking terms for the second half, now you’re joking around again. What is going on?”

You sit there in a stunned silence, “I don’t know what to say.” Your arms go to hug your body, feeling anxious about being confronted about this topic.

“Were you seeing each other?” His voice is soft, eyes taking in your body language and knowing it’s a difficult topic.

“I wouldn’t put it like that…”

He holds back the ‘I knew it’ statement because of how sullen you look, b..ut in his mind all of the pieces he had watched unfold came to fit in a perfect puzzle. He decides to sit beside you when you don’t say anything else.

“We were having sex,” it felt weird to say it out loud, no one but you and Harry had actually known, “But it ended. I don’t know what today was...but it felt different than how it’s been.”

“Why are you so sad if it was just sex?” He places a hand on your shoulder and your tear-filled eyes meet his. “Oh…” He knows why.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You sob at his apology because he’s not the one who should be at your door apologizing. You sniffle and lean your head into his chest. He takes you into his arms and holds you as your cries become muffled sounds in his shirt.

You cry without words for a few minutes, Mitch coos some soothing words, his voice soft and kind. He was always a good shoulder to cry on for all of your bandmates, he was extremely strong and you made a mental note to thank him thoroughly when you actually were capable of forming coherent thoughts. “I’ve never told anyone before. It feels so weird even saying it out loud,” you say as you pull back from Mitch’s embrace. You're thankful his shirt is black, no tear stains can be made out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks gently, gauging your reaction. You wipe at your eyes and nod.

Taking a deep breath, you decide to start from the beginning. “Do you remember the party Charlotte had a week before we left for tour?”

Mitch nods and his eyes widen at what you’re saying as he remembers the night. “It started back then?” He’s unable to contain his incredulous question. He had suspected something, but hadn’t thought it had been going on for that long. He was truly astounded. You nod, “Well sort of,” then you go on to recount the last couple of months. All the way up until the Forum shows. “That night, when I opened Harry’s door and it was you standing there...Harry and I didn’t have anything to discuss. It was just…” Mitch nods again. He hadn’t spoken much since you had gotten into the story, wanting to let you be in charge of what you were saying and believing he could probably ask questions at the end. “Then the next night he blew me off for his date with that model and I cried in the elevator because I knew what was going to happen next.”

“So that’s when it ended?” Mitch asks when you don’t speak for a rather extended period of time.

“Yeah, the next morning he came over and I asked if they had sex and he said yes so I told him it was over.”

“But I don’t get why he went out with that model. He had told me she wasn’t his type the night before…” Your eyes shot up and looked at Mitch. His eyes widened when he realized what he said.

“What?”

“When we were talking about Canyon Moon, he mentioned that Jeff had tried to set him up with some woman but he had declined. Said he wasn’t interested. I don’t get what changed between then and the next morning.” He figured it was best to put all the cards out on the table right now. You’d be going your separate ways for a while, now that the tour was over and he had seen how unhappy both you and Harry had been over the last part of the tour.

You shift your leg to have it folded beneath you as you continue to stare at Mitch. “He came over after you and him had your meeting,” you say quietly. Mitch hums, waiting for you to continue this time.

“He apologized for choosing you over me to talk to. Then we slept together, but we didn’t have sex...I think that’s what wigged him. It had felt too real, sleeping in the same bed with me without having sex beforehand made it feel like something more than just two people fulfilling needs.” Mitch nods and sighs heavily. He looks around the room and then back to you, taking in your full appearance. Again he feels terrible for you, how he had felt the second night at the Forum even though he hadn’t known the full story yet. “Now we’re here.”

“Tonight, it felt like he was trying,” Mitch finally said and you smiled sweetly, thinking back to Harry’s behavior. No matter how far from him you were, all those good feelings you associated with him never went away.

“Yeah, it’s been getting better. He texted me once saying he was trying. Then he came out with us one night and it almost seemed like that would be the night he’d apologize, but then he didn’t. Then we started sharing music with each other again. Then tonight… was tonight. It’s just confusing. He’s confusing.”

Mitch smiles sadly and brings you in for another hug and you’re actually so thankful he

showed up at your door. It was your first time telling anyone all of this, because Harry didn’t even know how you felt about some of these things. It felt amazing to be heard and to be told it was okay to be feeling like this.

Pulling back, Mitch says, “He’s definitely different. But his differences are what make him special and that’s why I think he clings to them even if they sometimes can hurt other people. The fact that he’s trying is a good sign. I hope he can find it in himself to make it right between you two because I had never seen either of you happier than when you were apparently together. Especially those few weeks leading up to Los Angeles. Sarah had kept asking me why Harry was so smiley back then. When I had asked him, he had just said “have you ever found something and realized you wanted to keep it with you forever?” I had no idea what he had meant, but I feel like he meant you now.”

Your awestruck at what Mitch has just told you. He was right about the first part about Harry trying to change, but the last bit, that’s what had left you speechless. You turn your body to face the rest of the room and put your chin against your hand as you think.

“Mitch...I have to go.”

He understands what you mean and you walk out of the door with him. He walks down the hall to his room and you walk quickly past the elevator and opt for the stairs. Before you know it you’re running up the stairs, taking two at a time even though you’re not the most athletically inclined. You can’t stand to wait for the elevator and your mind is racing.

You knock on the door that is Harry’s after reaching his floor. It swings open and reveals a confused and sleepy Harry. Thankfully he’s still fully dressed because that would have been a whole other problem you would have if he hadn’t been. You push past him and walk straight into his room without any invitation. He follows behind you, still unsure of why you’ve come here.

“Have you ever found something and realized you want to keep it forever?” You ask him, repeating the words Mitch had just told you.

“Pardon?”

“You told Mitch that about me before we ended things. If that’s how you felt, why didn’t you do what you said?”

Harry sighs as the words register in his mind. The memory of when he had smiled at Mitch so giddily and asked the vague question, his thoughts only of you as he asked it. The shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face after Mitch had looked at him confusedly flitted across his mind. As well as the way he had gone to his dressing room and had a quickie with you after that conversation.

“It’s not that simple…”

“It is, Harry! Why can’t you just be honest with me for once?”

“Okay, fine. You want me to be honest?” you nod at his harsh tone. The two of you standing only a few feet apart. “You have no goddamn idea what you do to me, when I’m around you, I have no control of my emotions or of my thoughts. I pushed you away because I didn’t like feeling out of control. I got out because what had started as a fun time had turned into me longing to be with you every waking hour. I found myself not caring what we did as long as I got to hold you and be around you, but that wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Plans can change, Harry.”

You step closer to him and he meets your eyes. He had left his music playing softly on his phone before he had opened the door so now as the two of you stared at each other, he must have been playing his Etta James playlist because her voice faded out of the song “I’d Rather Go Blind” and straight into “A Sunday Kind of Love”. Harry had shared her At Last album with you over the Christmas holiday of last year and you had decided to listen to her entire discography afterwards, so you knew the songs. The transition was a little too on the nose and you wondered if Spotify ever listened to your conversations.

His emerald eyes examine your face and take inventory of your features, measuring whether anything had changed since he had looked at you this close up. Your hand goes up to cup his cheek and he nuzzles into it, dropping his head closer to you ever so slightly and closing his eyes at the feeling of you.

“I am sorry,” he whispers earnestly as he reopens his eyes.

You can’t take your eyes off of him even if you tried. He looks so soft in the moment, so vulnerable in this light as the music swells in the corner of the room. Etta sings about how she needs a love that is going to last as the pair of you inch yourselves closer together.

“I forgive you, Harry,” you whisper back.

He nudges his head further down and your lips finally press together, slotting back together after months apart. Your lips are eager to press back against their favorite companion. You oblige them, but pull back for a second, just far enough to say, “I will always forgive you, so long as you tell me when you’re scared so we can work through it together.”

He nods, “I promise to never let you go again.” Before taking you back against his lips and gathering your body up in his arms. His lips missing yours just as much.

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samstrugglingwithlife · 4 years ago

Text

S/O Who Laughs At Everything And Has a Cute Laugh

Genre: Fluff

Characters: Kuroo, Oikawa, Daichi, Lev

A/N: Tbh, I think all of these guys would jut melt when they hear you laugh, every-single-goddamn-time. They’re all the type to be completely whipped for their s/o, I just get that feeling from them. Enjoy!

KUROO

He finds you so cute and attractive when you laugh. Kuroo jokes around you all the time if it means that he can hear your cute laugh.

He's always grateful that you like his science jokes even if you don't understand them; you laugh because his tone is funnier than his joke.

He really finds it hard to control himself from glomping you in a tight hug when he hears your cute giggles like he has to physically force himself to not pick you up and smother you in kisses.

Honestly, your happy personality brings him peace. There's just something so innocent about how you find a reason to smile and laugh at things that other people would often overlook.

He genuinely cannot stand to see you in any emotion other than happy; he would bend over backwards for you if it meant that you get to always remain your cheerful, joyful self.

Honestly, Lev is grateful towards you because whenever Kuroo is on his case, scolding him, your laughter distracts him just enough for Lev to escape. Every time. Though, to be honest, he's not happy that you laugh at him, but whatever lets him get away from angry Kuroo.

Whenever you're around with your cute little giggles and that melodious laugh, Kuroo feels stress-free and relaxed.

Also, if you laugh at his hyena laugh, he's gonna tease you about your laugh by mimicking it in a higher pitch. But whenever you start pouting, he'll coo at you and kiss your little pout away and reduce you to a giggling mess. UWU

OIKAWA

Oikawa won't hesitate to glomp you in a tight hug when he hears you laugh so cutely. Like, this one time, they were in the middle of a practice match, you burst out laughing at Matsukawa who missed his serve; Oikawa ran to you, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PRACTICE MATCH, and engulfed you in a tight sweaty hug, he kept cooing at you and pinching your cheeks. Getting beat up by Iwa-chan after that was worth it.

He acts childish in front of you on purpose because he knows how much that makes you laugh. He sticks his tongue out at his best friend and gets beat up, but he doesn't mind because he gets to hear you snicker and giggle.

Oikawa always tells you that your laughter is his welfare which is so cheesy, but he means it with every fibre in his being.

He has vowed to always protect your happy-go-lucky personality, your cute giggles, your pretty laugh, everything.

You just being you, being happy, being innocent gives him so much hope, you don't even know, but the way how genuine and truly yourself you are has Oikawa Tooru wrapped tightly around your little finger. He can only wish to be more like you.

DAICHI

He is like super whipped. Period.

He wouldn't run to you in the middle of practice or anything, but every time he hears you laugh cutely he does that thing where he sighs dreamily, and for a second his face looks all dumb and lovestruck. Suga punched him in the gut while laughing, claiming how jealous he is of the captain. "Lucky bastard! Ahahaha!" *smack*.

Whenever the two of you are watching a stand-up comedy show or a funny movie, Daichi never pays attention to the screen; instead, his eyes are on you, and he laughs when you laugh.

His favourite laugh of yours is when you laugh with your whole chest, y'know the one where you're all "HAHAHA", Yeah that one. Kinda like Dino from SVT.

Honestly, your laugh makes him laugh, and it's so funny to the passersby because they see two teens just bellowing loudly, it's super cute though.

He has a very loud laugh, so when he laughs, you laugh as a response because he sounds so hilarious and like a middle-aged dad or something.

Daichi absolutely whipped for you, and he will fight the whole world if it meant that he gets to see you smiling and happy for the rest of your life.

LEV

This thing up there made you cackle.

You laugh every time Kuroo yells at him, or Yaku beats his lanky ass. This makes him pout, but it's okay because you sound so cute.

99% of the time, you're laughing at him than with him.

When he first heard you laugh, Lev.exe stopped working. He just gaped at you and blushed so red because damn, you really do be sounding like a cute little doll, uwu.

Since the first time, he heard you laugh, he made it his mission to do everything and say anything that made you burst into a fit of giggles or reduce you to a full-on cackling mess. It wasn't that difficult, tbh, you laugh at every little thing.

It's just that you sound so cute that your sound when you laugh becomes addicting and he never wants you to stop laughing around him.

You're very happy-go-lucky and he's very cheerful, so the two of you are always goofing around and just laughing together and having fun.

Lev always pinches your cheeks and gushes over how cute you are when you giggle at something he does or says.

Baby is a complete show-off, and he thinks that your cute little laughs and giggles are worth bragging about to his teammates. He's over there with his nose in the air, all smug like "My Y/n-chan is so cute! Even when they laugh they sound cute! Oh, I forgot! Yaku-san you don't have an S/O!" Honestly, he deserved the kick he got.

You are his baby and when you're happy he's happy. It's just that simple.

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dearlazerbunny · 5 years ago

Note

Can I have Kylo for fluff alphabet please? Thank you!

All of them?! I mean if you ~insist~

(Alphabet prompt here)

Kylo x Reader Fluff ABCs 💜

Activities: Free time is scarce, so he’ll mostly visit you at night when the two of you can curl up in bed, watch the stars, and talk about anything and everything. Technically it’s always night in space, but when he’s with you the black seems to dim a little, and the stars shine brighter. It’s the best sort of night, the ones that make you think there are as many possibilities as there are planets in the sky.

Beauty: Kylo LOVES your smile. You smile so easily, whereas he can count on one hand the number of times he’s smiled in the pas year- each time because of you. And he still has to remind himself how to breathe anytime he makes you smile.

Comfort: He’s excellent at holding you close and just letting you cry it out, running his fingers through your hair, and keeping his lips pressed to the top of your head so you know he’s there. Sometimes he’ll tell stories- the same ones his mother told him, about adventures in space and good defeating evil and how hope makes the universe turn. He doesn’t know if he believes in those old stories anymore- but he knows you do.

Dreams: Somewhere quiet, somewhere far away from any war or light side and dark side and Jedis and metal monstrosities that destroy planets on a whim. It’d be a simple house- maybe in a forest, set away from a tiny village- with just enough space for the two of you and maybe... maybe a child. The three of you would lie in the tall grass- a little boy or girl tugging on his mother’s clothes and giggling at the feeling of the dirt beneath his feet- and tell new stories. Because now he doesn’t need those old stories telling him about light and hope- he has his own, sitting right in front of him.

Equal: Kylo is not used to someone standing up to him and calling him on his bullshit. Kylo cannot remember the last time someone called him “Ky” without having a rather vicious meeting with the glowing end of his lightsaber. Kylo definitely isn’t used to someone being in his personal space- a touch on his arm, holding hands, a leg wrapped around his when the two of you are in bed. He might a six-foot-something menace in all black and a scary sword, but you have an infinite amount of little ways of telling him that he is not the boss of you. Period.

Fight: Fighting is loud- there’s a good amount of yelling and stomping around. Most of it stems from insecurities: he can’t get it out of his head that you aren’t going to drop him on a whim someday when you realize how broken he is; you hate that he’s constantly diving headfirst into a war where you can’t do anything to protect him. One night, after a particularly horrible bout, you voice the idea that the insecurities get smaller when the trust gets bigger. So now, any argument, big or small, is only over when the two of you can look at each other and honestly say, “I trust you.”

Gratitude: He knows you’re doing... something, but he doesn’t really realize how much until one day he’s sitting with you, your fingers intertwined, laughing at something ridiculously stupid and only funny to the two of you, and he’s looking at you and how your eyes sparkle when you laugh and he notices he hasn’t heard any of the voices in his head since you started giggling. He’ll tell you later- he wants to hear your laugh for just a little bit longer.

Honesty: Kylo definitely keeps secrets- mostly his fears. He’s scared you’ll leave him, that one day you’ll walk away and won’t come back. He wants a future with you- not just a future, but an endgame- and every day it seems less and less likely. He worries he isn’t what you deserve. He’s scared he’ll hurt you accidentally; he’s terrified he’ll hurt you intentionally. He’s never told you any of this, but the funny thing is- you kind of already know.

Inspiration: You’ve changed him for the better, and keep doing so every day. Much like the realization from Gratitude, he won’t quite know the extent of it until one day it smacks him in the face and he finally thinks, oh.

Jealousy: Yes, and it’s something the two of you have to work on. Constantly. To his credit, he went from hunting down one of your work friends in the middle of the night after he gave you a hug in the mess hall to (occasionally) haltingly and frustratingly voicing his feelings. It’s progress, and you’re willing to stick by him for however long it takes.

Kiss: Your first kiss was incredibly tentative, soft, and barely there. You weren’t quite sure it even had happened, except Kylo’s look of absolute shock clued you in that it very much did. Then about five seconds later you realized that was probably Kylo’s first kiss. Ever. He doesn’t really get it at first- he’s stiff and awkward and at one point frustratingly blurted out ‘but what do I do with my hands.’ He’s much better now. Practice makes perfect after all, and let’s be real, kissing this man is a hardship you are more than willing to bear.

Love Confession: He wanders into your room one night, antsy and agitated and very thrown off by... something. You don’t know what, because he refuses to tell you- just paces your room clenching and unclenching his fists while you desperately try to figure out what’s wrong. Eventually, he faces you, bewildered, looks you dead in the eye, and says I love you- which spirals you into a cacophony of relief, giddiness, happiness, and laughter all in about five second’s time. While he’s looking put out from you laughing at him, you kiss him on the lips once... twice... and say, I know.

Marriage: He thinks he’d like to marry you someday. It’d be simple- you’d carry a bouquet of wildflowers, maybe with some braided in your hair as well. The rings would both be a beautiful smoky grey, and yours has a small piece of his kyber crystal set in the center. He doesn’t know who would be there... Hux? The two of you are friends. The people you work with... well, they don’t know about you. He knows it’s impossible, but he always pictures his mother there too, to give you away.

Nicknames: Kylo isn’t really one for nicknames. You call him Ky, love, babe when you want to get a rise out of him- but every so often, in the dead of night, when you’re half asleep and not quite sure if you’re dreaming it, he’ll pull you close and whisper my queen before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

On Cloud Nine: Nobody knows. Not a single soul. Have you seen that man’s poker face? Hux and Phasma can guess something is up, but that something being ‘Kylo Ren in love’ is so far out of the realm of possibility that it doesn’t even make the top 101 Things That Might Be Going On With Ren. You think it’s hilarious, and also kind of sweet- he saves that side of himself for you and you only.

PDA: See the above. PDA is not a thing with him, for a multitude of reasons: he has an image to maintain, he doesn't want you to get hurt if potentially being used against him, he simply doesn’t know how to initiate such things. You respect his want for privacy- you don’t want to be rumor mill fodder either. But on the very few occasions you find yourselves out and alone together, you’ll give him a peck on the mask where his cheek would be. That’s enough for you.

Quirk: I don’t know if the Force counts as a quirk, but it definitely makes you laugh when he decides to do stupid party tricks in an effort to cheer you up (think Aang and his marble trick in A:TLA 😂). In the back of your mind, you can’t help but imagine him doing the same innocent magic tricks to the delight of your son or daughter someday.

Romantic: He’s romantic while having no sense of traditional romance. If you mention a favorite flower, there’ll be a vase of them in your room the next day. When you tease him for doing something sweet, he just looks baffled. “You said you liked these. So I procured some. You’re welcome?” The fact that he doesn’t get how much his gestures actually mean makes them that much sweeter.

Support: Kylo thinks you could probably end this whole war single-handed if they plopped you down in the middle of the battlefield. Not that he’d ever test that theory. But if someone has the capability of making him start thinking of things like a future, they have more power in their fist than he does with the entirety of the Force.

Thrill: Considering this is all still fairly new to Kylo, even something like kissing the back of his hand sends him into shutdown mode for a second or two. You’re taking it slow. It took him a whole two months to even get used to the idea of holding hands on the regular.

Understanding: Kylo worries this is an area he’s lacking in. What he doesn’t know is that he instinctively knows when you need a hug, picks up on your moods before you even know what that mood is, and often knows what you’re thinking before you say it. He doesn’t think highly enough of himself to say that he knows someone as wonderful as you so intimately, but the truth is he’s pretty much got you on lock.

Value: You are everything. If he knew there would be no repercussions, and you’d be safe, he would drop everything and move to that little house in the forest with you, War, Skywalkers, and Snoke be damned. At some point, he stopped fighting this war to rid himself of his past and started fighting it so that you and he might have a future.

Wild Card: You have a tendency to pull hair whenever you get really frustrated, so Kylo offered to let you play with his instead- obviously, you are infinitely more careful with him than you are yourself. This eventually morphed into you being able to craft Disney-princess-worthy braids and updos with his hair. Sometimes he’ll let you tuck a flower in it if he really wants to see you laugh.

XOXO: This poor man is touch s t a r v e d. The second you start being physically affectionate with him, he never wants you to stop- laying by his side, holding your hand, playing with his hair, wrapping himself around you. Not that anyone outside of the two of you would have any idea.

Yearning: You aren’t a Force user, but you’re connected to the point where when he’s away on a mission, he can send you a thought or a feeling to let you know he’s thinking of you. More than once you’ve felt the slight sensation of his fingers on your cheek or him walking beside you, even though he’s lightyears away.

Zeal: if you and Luke Skywalker were standing side by side, and he could only reach one of you, he’d grab you by the hand, start running, and never let go.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren fluff #abcs #abcs of kylo ren #kylo ren headcanons #kylo ren imagine #request #star wars request #star wars fluff

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colbybrocksmolder · 5 years ago

Text

Welcome To The Family – Colby Brock x Reader

“Colby.” You gasped, your hands flying to your stomach. The two of you were in the middle of cooking ‘breakfast’ (don’t judge a pregnant woman for wanting hash browns at 3 am) when something felt a little…off.

“Is he kicking?” Colby asked, his hands moving to smooth over part of your belly that your hands weren’t covering.

“Oh, he’s kicking alright. I think he’s about to kick the door down.” You answered, feeling a wet sensation fall down your legs. Being 37 weeks pregnant made it a bit difficult to find comfortable clothes so you were currently in your undies and one of Colby’s tank tops.

“Wait, what?” Colby asked before following your line of sight to the now wet floor. He started mumbling something to himself, his eyes still staring at the floor.

The reality of the situation hit you and you stayed silent for a moment before quietly laughing. “I swear I didn’t pee.”

His eyes shot up to meet yours. “You’re okay, right?” The two of you hadn’t moved in nearly a minute. You nodded, a few stray silent tears making a break for it and falling down your cheeks. Colby’s fingers moved to wipe them away. “Are you in pain yet?” he asked, cradling your face in his hands.

“Not yet.” You said, shaking your head. You were kind of afraid to move. You took a deep breath. “This is real.”

Colby couldn’t stop the huge smile that spread over his face. “This is real, baby.” He said, leaning over your belly to kiss you. “Holy shit, this is real. NATE! NATE, WAKE UP!”

Nate had been staying with you guys for about a month. Colby was too afraid to leave you home alone when he went to film and Nate was on break from school. Up in the loft, you heard Nate roll off the air mattress and hit the floor. “WHAT?!” He yelled, startled.

“Go wake Sam up! Y/n’s water broke!” he answered.

Nate flew down the stairs and out the door to get Sam.

Colby guided you towards your bedroom, holding on to you to make sure you didn’t slip or fall. “Do you want to change?” he asked.

“Honestly, I’m afraid to bend or move or do anything.” You said, the anticipation starting to settle in and overwhelm you.

“Baby, here. Sit down on the edge of the bed. I’ll get you changed.” Colby helped you sit and lean back, getting you into fresh undies. “Why don’t you just wear one of my really long shirts.” He suggested, grabbing one from the closet quickly.

All you could do was nod and breathe. He knew that trying to get you into anything more than that right now was going to be a struggle and he wanted to keep you as calm as possible. “I love you” was your quiet thank you after Colby had helped you change and get back up off of the bed.

“I love you, too. Both of you. So much.” Colby replied, kissing you and helping you walk back out towards the living room.

“I’M HERE! WE’RE READY!” Sam practically fell into your apartment, Nate following him in and quickly getting dressed. “Kat is going to meet us there.” He looked hilarious. He was dressed and had his backpack on, but his hair was sticking up all over the place and you’d never seen his eyes open so wide.

You chuckled. “Thank you, Sam.”

“Sam, grab the black bag by the couch and I’ll make sure she gets downstairs safe.” Colby said, remembering that you had packed an emergency bag for when this happened.

When you finally made it to the hospital and got checked into a room, Colby took a minute to text the appropriate people. Neither of your parents lived in California, so he sent them messages saying that he’d keep them updated. Letting them know that if they wanted to fly out that they’d have a place to stay between yours and Sam’s apartments. He then text the group chat with your friends. Colby had named the group chat “Misfit Island” like the old claymation Christmas movie. Your friends were definitely family, and everyone had insisted he text the gc when your water broke.

The first to show up was Kat. She had walked in with coffee for Sam and Nate and a Red Bull for Colby.

“How are you doing?” she asked, leaning down to hug you the best she could.

“So far so good.” You answered, smiling up at her.

Next to make appearances were Mike and Kevin. Mike wasn’t wearing shoes and Kevin wasn’t wearing pants. They were bickering about who looked dumber in front of the hot nurse at the welcome station when they walked in the room.

“I think you both look equally crazy.” You said, laughing at the two disheveled boys.

“Who leaves the house without shoes?” Kevin teased Mike, sitting in a chair next to Colby and throwing his arm around him.

“I was in a hurry!” Mike laughed, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Hanging in there, mamas?” he asked, squeezing your hand.

“I am.” You smiled. “I think I panicked more than Colby did, though.”

Kevin shook Colby a bit with the arm he had around his shoulders. “My man stayin’ strong for his woman.”

Colby smiled over at you and then looked between Mike and Kevin. “Kevin, how did you remember to put socks and shoes on, but not pants?” He laughed, looking down at the baggy orange boxers Kevin was sporting.

“See!” Mike joined in.

At first you didn’t know if you wanted your friends to be hanging around during this whole process, but 30 seconds of Mike and Kevin bickering made you grateful Colby decided to text them. The rest of your friend group showed up throughout the day. You ended up being in labor for HOURS, but Colby never left your side.

Since you had about 15 people taking up space in the waiting room, the hospital opened up another sitting room for your group. This is when Sam busted out his camera. He set the camera up on a little shelf in the corner and told everyone in the group to take turns recording themselves. He wanted to make a video for your kid to watch when he was old enough to understand and appreciate it. He wanted to capture all of the anticipation and joy and love that your child was bringing to the group.

One by one, everyone in the group recorded themselves talking to your soon-to-be-born baby.

Kat’s was sweet. “You’re the first to make one of us a parent.” She had said, a huge grin on her face. “I know your parents can’t wait to meet you, but after them there’s a long line of people just waiting to love on the newest little member of our family.” She blew a kiss to the camera and ended her recording.

Corey’s was funny. “When your mom starts scolding you for making fart jokes at the dinner table, just blame me. She’ll believe you.” Corey had laughed, his energetic expression slowly being replaced by a softer serious one. “I know I’m a goofball and I hope that I get to be in your life enough that you know it too…I don’t take a lot of things seriously, but I swear on my life you can always come to me. For a laugh, for advice…Doesn’t matter. Your parents have been there for me more than most people know. They’re family. That means you’re family.” He smiled at the camera, taking a deep breath and ending his recording.

Aryia’s was thoughtful. “I didn’t realize I was really growing up until your dad busted ass running through our house with a pregnancy test in his hand. He was so happy, man. He couldn’t shut up about you.” He smiled but looked terrified. “Seeing Colby so confident that you were going to be the biggest blessing in his life made me start to think about what I want out of life and honestly? That scares the shit out of me.” Aryia said, shaking his head. “Oh, shit. I mean, crap. Ah, whatever. You’ve probably got a swear jar for me by the time you actually see this video.” He laughed. “What makes thinking about the future not so scary is knowing that your mom and your dad and all of our friends…they’ve got my back. They’re the best friends I’ve ever had. We’re like a big family…and soon we’ll be welcoming you into it.” Aryia threw up his usual peace sign and ended the recording.

Kevin’s was cheerful. “This is a beautiful day, kid. It feels like every time I turn around, someone I love is doing something new and amazing…but I think this blows most of those out of the water. You’ve got some cool aunts and uncles in this room right now. You’re going to grow up with rock stars and poets and comedians…” Kevin paused when everyone busted up laughing at something Corey had done. “See? We’re lucky to have each other. There’s a lot of love in this room, kid. You’re gonna grow up with the coolest family around.” He turned to snark back at something someone else said and ended his recording.

Jake’s was goofy. “For some reason recording this makes me nervous.” Jake laughed. “I know I’m weird and I make dumb jokes and I’ve probably still got weird hair whenever you’re watching this…but I’m calling it now, I’m going to be the fun uncle. I buy the best snacks and there’s cartoons constantly playing on my tv.” He continued to list reasons why he was going to make a great uncle. “You know, even though I know I’m gonna be the best, you’ve got a lot of people here that are pretty cool too.” He laughed. “And you’re all they’ve been able to talk about for like 2 whole months. Everyone keeps telling Colby his life is about to change, but really…I think you’re gonna change all of our lives when you join the family.” Jake waved like a little kid and ended his recording.

Mike’s was honest. “You know, life isn’t always going to be perfect. It’s tough. You’re going to go through some stuff that you won’t want to talk about or ask for help with.” Mike took a moment to think. “I’ve been there, little man. Your dad pulled me out of a pretty dark place in my life. I’ve had a lot of crappy friends and your dad came along and reminded me that there are still great fricken people in the world. You’ve got amazing people for parents. I know it’s not always cool to go to your parents for advice, but they’re always going to be there for you. And for those times when you need someone else…we’re all here for you. We’ve literally been sitting in this room all day just waiting for you to show up. The nurse even put a sign on the door that says, “Brock Family”. That’s us. We’re really excited to meet you.” Mike made a heart with his hands before ending his recording.

Nate’s was deep. He stared at the camera for almost a minute before he said anything. “I’m inclined to believe that life is what we make it. I’m not a big believer in fate. I never really had a reason to believe in anything but the here and the now…” He looked away from the camera for a few seconds. “See, I always had this idea in my head that we just bump into people as we walk through life and that sometimes it sticks and they stay, and other times it doesn’t and you move on. Consequence be damned. But I’ve gotten to know your mom pretty damn well over the last month. I’ve known your dad nearly my entire life. He’s probably the best friend I’ve ever had…but your mom? Your mom isn’t afraid of anything or anyone. Your mom is smart and kind and she’s got a knack for knowing when you’re full of shit so good luck with that as you grow up.” He laughed. “Your mom changed your dad’s life. Your mom has changed pretty much everyone in this room in one way or another. There’s nothing coincidental about her walking into your dad’s life. It’s not happenstance that the people here in this hospital waiting for you all found each other. That’s fate, baby. I think you drew the winning cosmic lottery ticket, because you’ve got quite the family waiting for you.” Nate smiled at the camera for a few seconds before standing and ending his recording.

Lastly, Sam sat and started talking. “Hey, little Brock. I don’t know what else to call you yet because your parents won’t tell anyone what they’re going to name you.” Sam laughed. “That felt crazy to say. At some point today my best friends are going to become parents.” He shook his head, a huge grin on his face. Sam waved at the camera. “I’m Sam…but by the time your parents decide to show you this video, you’ll already know that. I hope that by the time you see this that you’ve decided I’m your favorite uncle. I know Gage is awesome and all, but your dad and me…we took on the world, kid. We’ve done some crazy stuff together. I can’t wait to tell you the stories. I’ll tell them as many times as you want, I promise. Your dad is more than my best friend, he’s my brother. He’s the best person I know. Period. And your mom is the best thing that ever happened to him…I need you to know that I’m always going to be there for you guys. You and your mom and your dad. You haven’t even been born yet and I know I love you.” Sam looked away from the camera for a moment to wipe his eyes, trying not to full-on cry. He turned the camera to catch all of your friends just hanging out, laughing in the room. “You see these guys?” Sam pointed over his shoulder. “You’re going to grow up surrounded by more love than I think you’re going to know what to do with. Your dad and I spent a lot of time weeding out a lot of crappy friends over the years, but I think we’ve got it narrowed down to the best at this point.” He smiled at the camera. “See, I believe that you pick your family. It doesn’t matter if they’re blood related or not…”

The door to the waiting room flew open and an emotional Colby ran in wearing a doctor’s gown over his clothes. “He’s here.” He said, practically shaking. “They said he’s healthy and that everything went smoothly. They’re getting Y/n moved back to her room and they’re going to bring him to us in a minute.” He ran back out of the room. Cheers could he heard from everyone in the room.

Sam leaned back down to look into the camera that was still recording. “Welcome to the family.” He said, ending his recording.

#colby brock #Colby Brock x Reader #colby brock imagine #colby brock oneshot #colby brock fluff

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thicctransboi · 5 years ago

Text

A Grizzam Wedding!

Summary: Fluff, wedding, tears, fluff

Warning: You will cry

The Epiphany

Grizz stood there, after Luke and Helena's wedding, at the side of the church, lost in thought. In Luke's vows, he had said the same thing he had said in the jewelry store, "“She sees in me who I can be, not just the dude I think I am. When someone sees you like that, you want them looking at you forever.” Just like the first time he had heard him say those words when they had moved him enough to finally shoot his shot with Sam, they ran through his mind and wouldn't leave. Those words ran so true now, nearly three years after finally talking to Sam; Sam saw who he could be, who he really was on the inside. And he never wanted that to go away.

Naturally, no one had anticipated they'd be stuck in New Ham this long, but Grizz wasn't sure how much he minded it. He never would have found Sam and fallen for him like he had if this hadn't happened. He'd never have found himself a second father figure to a wonderful child like Eden. Things weren't the same as they had been back in high school, but was that really a bad thing?

Grizz had never pictured himself to be the settling down type. But, look at him now; working in the gardens, coparenting, living with another man who he loved. He had settled down. Part of this wasn't his choice, of course. But a large portion of it was. And he didn't mind it. In fact, he loved it. He loved getting his hands dirty and providing for people. He loved coming home every day to a home cooked meal and to his unusual family. He loved teaching Eden to read, and rocking her to sleep at night. He even loved how he was the only person who could calm her fears of the dark, or her temper tantrums. He loved his friendship with Becca, and how their system worked. How he could confide in her. But, above all, he loved Sam. He loved the way he would rub his shoulders after a long day of farming, the way he would hold him when they went to sleep. He loved that soulful look in his eyes whenever he looked at Eden or at Grizz. He loved his laugh. He even loved his attitude and mood swings, loved picking up his messes. He even enjoyed their arguments, because they were both smart, they could keep up with each other. Sam had this ability to ease all of Grizz's troubles, and bring him back down to earth.

He had worked hard to make himself better for Sam, because Sam made him want to be a better person. Sam saw what he could be, not just the stoner, jock, poetry nerd people saw him as. Or as the repressed boy he thought he was. Sam had helped him become the man he was today, and he had a lot to thank Sam for. He wanted some way to prove to Sam how much he appreciated and loved him. And he knew exactly how he would do it.

***

Sam sat on the sofa, a snoozing Eden resting her head on his lap. She had grown into such a beautiful little girl. Brown ringlet curls, and large blue eyes with a radiant smile. He wafted his fingers through her hair softly, careful not to wake her. He was lost in his own mind, a life spent in silence often meant getting lost in your own head. He had been forced to miss the wedding, not that it affected him too much. Eden had thrown up all over her dress, and had been ill all morning. So, he opted to stay home with her so Becca and Grizz could go to the wedding. Wedding..

Sam could remember being excited when gay marriage was legalized, but then realizing he'd probably never get married. He hated that he was religious, that he was raised in a church that condemned him. He had it shoved down his throat to never act on his 'impulses'. But, I suppose, in an alternate universe, God might not care here. For most people, the Three years spent in New Ham had taken a tole, depression medication had ran out a long time ago, and a lot of people were almost zombie like. Going to work, home, eat, sleep, repeat. Constantly bored. But, isn't that what normal adult life was like? There had been several failed exhibitions to try to surpass whatever boarders contained us. All had failed except for the two for farmland and livestock, and one for water. The library was full now more than ever that gas had run out, no more games of fugitive meant more people had to turn to books for entertainment. Which, Sam didn't mind, it kept him busy when he worked. And home was always busy, having a toddler running around. Two other couples had had kids, neither of which Sam knew well enough to bother knowing their names. One had a set of twins. God help them.

Sam didn't mind his new life. Campbell had been long gone, which was a blessing to all. And, order had been restored in their little society. Things at home were good as well, he was happy. Considering the circumstances, Eden was an extremely happy child. She loved being read to and learning new things, and playing in the garden. This was the only life she knew, and she was contempt with it. Becca and him were as thick as theaves, as they always had been. Becca worked as well, normally second shift in the kitchens. Sam worked mornings at the library. Grizz worked mornings/late evenings in the gardens depending on the need. Becca and Kelly had grown even closer, inseparable. Sam knew better than to ask, but he saw the way Kelly and Becca interacted, he knew love when he saw it. Sam knew he had finally found it himself.

Grizz was far from perfect. He was messy, a little moody at times, and extremely sensitive. He had a habit of tracking mud in the house, and was extremely stubborn. But, Sam wouldn't change any part of him. He loved every part. Grizz was amazing with Eden, it warmed Sam's heart to see him make funny faces at the small child, making her erupt in laughter. He loved watching him read to her, assumingly making funny voices for different characters the way his lips would change with certain words as well as his face contorting. It was hilarious to watch them in the garden together, yet endearing. Above all, he loved watching Grizz hold her, rocking her to sleep. The way he looked at Eden was mesmerizing. He loved seeing that look in his eyes. The only other person he gave that look to was Sam. Both Grizz and Becca signed in the house, Eden could hear but they both took time to teach her to speak, while Sam taught her to sign.

For a jock, Grizz was extremely sensitive, soft, and caring. He loved to be held, and loved having his, now much overgrown, hair played with. Sam loved how Grizz would rub soothing circles on his chest at night. They often stayed up late talking together, either about their day or about what was going on in their minds. Grizz rubbing soothing patterns along Sam's chest, until they both lulled out of conversation and into sleep. They'd often spend hours in silence, when Eden was napping or Becca and Kelly took her out, and just read together in their room. Sometimes showing each other parts in their books they liked, highlighting certain lines and cutting them out, placing them on the wall. Snip bits of reminders of each other. Sam was happy with Grizz, he loved Grizz. He knew Grizz loved him too.

*** Preparation

"Do you think he would like this one?" Grizz asked Becca, pointing to a silver diamond incrusted band in the long jewelry case.

"It's too flashy. Sam likes things simple, but meaningful." Becca pointed out, "You know, Sam will be worried if we're both not back soon. Plus, I'm worried about Eden, she was so sick this morning."

"Sam texted us both, her fever is gone and she's napping. So, he probably is too. There's only a small selection, how about this one?" He held up a plain silver band.

Becca shook her head, "It's too thin, Sam's got huge hands. It wouldn't look right. You know, Sam knows you love him, you don't have put a ring on it to prove it."

Grizz smiled to himself when he spotted a ring that caught his eye, "I know that he knows, but I want to show him how much. How serious I am. He means the world to me, Becca. You all do, but I want him to know in a different way, the way that most people prove it, you know? Something normal, more concrete."

Becca smiled at his words, when Grizz had sprung the idea upon her, she had been overjoyed for the fathers of her daughter. Overjoyed for her two best friends. She saw the ring in between Grizz's fingers and her eyes grew wide, "That's the one."

***

The Proposal

Sam had finally finished his shift at the library, it was 5pm, and he was closing. It had been a week since the wedding, and both Becca and Grizz had been acting strange. Exchanging odd looks to each other, Grizz not letting Sam in the top drawer of the dresser for anything. They were up to something, he just didn't know what yet. Locking up the doors of the library and tossing his keys in his pocket, he began his decent towards home. It was warm out, the middle of summer, and his t-shirt was soon sticking to his clothes as he walked in the humid New England summer heat. He rounded the block to their house, anxious to get inside in the air conditioning.

Unlocking the front door and making his way inside, he noticed that he didn't see Eden's little feet running around, nor Becca chasing after her. He glanced around the living room, then the kitchen. No one. What the..? He pulled out his cell phone and texted Grizz.

To Grizz: Where is everyone?

Buzz, buzz.

From Grizz: They're at Kelly's. Come upstairs.

Sam couldn't recall Becca telling them that she and Eden were going out today, but he disregarded it for now, making his way upstairs to him and Grizz's bedroom. He opened the door and kicked off his shoes, only to turn around to see Grizz, sitting in the middle of the floor. A pathway of candles and dogwood blossoms were scattered from the doorway, to Grizz. He was wearing a red plaid flannel, a black sweater, and jeans. His eyes looked watery, and his hair was freshly combed.

"What's all this?" Sam signed, gesturing to the display in front of him.

Grizz rose to his feet and approached Sam, careful not to knock over any candles.

"And what are you wearing? Isn't that a little hot for June?"

Grizz smiled, brushing a stray hair away from Sam's forehead. "This is the outfit I wore when we had our first kiss, remember? The first day we gardened together, ecsetera."

Sam gave him a smile, "I remember, but why are you wearing it right now? Surrounded by flower petals and candles?"

Grizz raised a hand so silence his partner, ushering for him to join him in the center of the room. Grizz took Sam's hands for a moment, taking a deep breath. Sam noticed that his eyes were watering.

"I told myself that I wouldn't cry until after, but here I am already tearing up..." Grizz whipped a tear from the corner of his eye before continuing. "Okay. he took a deep breath before looking back at Sam and signing. " Sam, I.. I love you so much.. You are my entire world, and you've given me so much in three years, more than I could ever have hoped or dreamed of back in high school. I know this world can sometimes suck, like a lot. And, who knows what's going to happen tomorrow? But, all I know is that I love you, and you make this world one worth fighting for. And I want to do that with you, by my side. Fearlessly, and forever.You have turned my world upside down. Both figuratively and literally." Grizz got down on one knee, taking out a small box from his jean pocket, "So, Sam Eliot, will you marry me? Whatever in the living hell that means in this universe?"

Grizz opened the box to reveil a thick gold band, with diamonds along each edge. Sam felt tears flowing down his cheeks and himself nodding before he could get the words out:

"You have to ask?"

***

The Wedding

Sam stood in the mirror in the women's bathroom of the church, fixing his necktie. He was nervous, it was written across his face in every feature.

Becca stood behind him in the mirror. "Let me help." She signed, making sam turn to her to allow her to fix his mistakes.

Becca was wearing a short purple gown that fell just above the knee, and had a sweetheart neckline. Her long brown curls were tied up in a tight bun, a few loose curls framed her face beautifully. She was beaming up at Sam, "You look so handsome, you know that? I'm so proud of you."

Sam rolled his eyes, "I know I know. I love you, did you know that?" He signed after she finally tied his tie correctly.

She smiled, "Of course, I love you too. Now, let me fix your hair a bit." She commanded, having him take a seat as she applied small bits of hairspray to help hold his ginger ringlets back.

"There, have a look!" She spun him around in the chair they had stolen from one of the offices so he could see his reflection in the mirror.

She was right, he did look good. Sam was wearing a pale pink button down, a vest, khaki dress pants, a tan dress coat, and a pink plaid neck tie. What he had worn to the prom, aside from his fathers dress coat of course. Time had aged him a bit, his acne now gone and his face looking his age finally. His hair was neatly styled and gelled back, one loose curl fell on his forehead. But he liked it, he thought he actually looked good for once. "Perfect." he signed.

Grizz was getting ready by himself, adjusting his bowtie and vest in the men's restroom. He wore a plaid pink bowtie, a lime green button down, white dress coat, and white pants. The suit was his fathers, but the shirt and tie were his own, back when he went to prom. He thought he looked kinda ridiculous. His father's suit a bit too big. But, they had to make due around here.

Grizz kept rereading the vows he had written down over and over again. This wedding would be highly unusual, as to be expected. Becca and Kelly were the maid of honors, and Eden was the flower girl. Luke was his best man, the rest of the guard weren't as supportive when Grizz came out. But they had been invited nonetheless. They weren't doing the whole 'under god' thing or 'united by god' thing. They were simply doing vows, you may kiss the groom, have a good day. Which, was how they both felt it should be. Becca was also officiating the wedding, not like in this universe you need a certificate right?

"Grizz, five more minutes!" He heard Kelly call through the door.

He felt his heart skip a beat, but smiled nonetheless.

Becca walked Sam down the isle first, Eden ahead of them, holding Kelly's hand, and tossing flower petals in every direction, looking precious in her small little lavender gown that had used to be Becca's. Bean was playing music, Aretha Franklin, not that it mattered to Sam much if there was music or not. He felt all of the eyes of New Ham on him, like he used to in high school, but at least now they were kinder. When they reached the front of the church, Becca didn't loose her grasp on Sam's arm, knowing he needed it. He felt like he could fly away at any moment, and as she always had been, she was his rock. Keeping his feet on the ground. The church doors opened and in walked Grizz, Ally at his side, arm in arm. Sam felt tears well in his eyes at the sight of his partner, and soon to be husband, walking down the isle to marry him.

When Grizz's eyes landed on Sam, he felt his heart skip a beat and all focus went to Sam. The sight of his groom, it was alluring, and not to mention overwhelming. The eyes on him didn't bother, all he could see was Sam. Just like it always had been. It felt like all the air had been knocked out of him, yet he found himself walking still, like Sam's presence was magnetic and pulling him towards the alter.

Ally handed him off, letting Grizz's hands join Sam's as Becca stood behind them on the small stage.

"So, as you all know, we're gathered here in the church this morning to celebrate the marriage, oh wait,, the Union of Sam Elliot and Gareth Visser. Aka Grizz, or Grizzam for those of us who have been pinning for their relationship for the past three years." Becca spoke, signing along, causing the young adults around them to laugh at her words, "They have written their own vows, so, Sam, since you'll always be my favorite, you can go first."

Sam chuckled and began signing, Becca interpreting for him; "You know, growing up, I had always been told that I couldn't act on being gay, and if I didn't, then god would still love me. I remember, three years ago, shortly after this whole alternate universe thing happened, telling Becca that I would die the perfect christian virgin. Especially since what happened with the whole planet thing. And I remember telling her how relieved I was. Because I felt that there was no one I'd want who would want me back. I remember thinking how crazy that would be in high school, let alone in a new alternate universe. I asked her, 'How do they find each other?' Well, apparently, it takes us being sent to another planet for me to find that person, but god I'm so happy I did. Grizz, you were the first person who ever noticed me. Who ever saw beyond those titles of 'deaf' or 'gay'. You tried to learn my language just to speak with me, and ended up learning British sign language. Which, yes, they're different. No one has ever done that for me, especially not someone who is amazing as you. Who just so happened to be into me. I finally found someone who loves me back, as I love them. And you've proven time and time again that you do. I know I come with strings attached, but what I feel for you is real. We're real. We're the only thing that makes sense to me in this fucked up world, and I never want us to end. I love you, Gareth Visser."

Tears were flowing down Grizz's face, and Sam's. And Becca's. And Kelly's. Even Clark and Jason who sat in the front row were crying. Many people were. Grizz mouthed a quiet 'I love you' before saying his own vows.

Grizz took out the piece of paper in his pocket and glanced at it, before folding it up and putting it away. He began to sign and speak, "I had this whole thing written down, but now I feel the need to say something different. Completely from my heart. I keep saying to myself I won't get emotional, but Sam brings out that side in me, that none of you had seen. When Luke here was looking for engagement rings, he said something that spoke to me. He said, “She sees in me who I can be, not just the dude I think I am. When someone sees you like that, you want them looking at you forever.”... He was talking about Helena not Sam obviously, but when he said those words, all I could think of was Sam. I hadn't had enough courage to really get to know him yet. But, those words moved me so powerfully, that I tried learning sign language to talk to Sam. As you all now know, I failed. In high school, I was so caught up In being straight, that I was too scared to talk to him. I was scared of what people might think, or how that might change my life. Then, the world ended. Literally.. And I'm so happy it did. Because, if it hadn't? I never would have heard those words, I never would have talked to him. Sam, you've flipped my world upside down, in the best way possible. You've made me want to be a better person, not just for myself, but for you. You welcomed me into your family, and now I have more than I could have ever dreamed of. I love you, Sam. I love you, Becca, and Eden. But, Sam, I love you so much, that I never want what we have to end. I don't really know what marriage means in this world, or outside of it, all I know is that this is what I want. Only with you. I was never the settling down type, but you changed that. I guess I was just.. Looking for the right person. And, I found him. It's you, Sam. No one else. And I truly believe, that in the outside world, we would have ended up together at some point. Like our souls were meant to find each other, and have been over and over again, life after life. And in this life, I found you, and I'm not letting you go. I love you, Sam Elliot."

Grizz hadn't dropped his eyes from Sam's once, and the pair were both tearing up drastically.

Becca wiped a tear from her cheek, "Oh shit, that, that got to me. Okay, okay. Breathe.... Okay, I now pronounce you husband and husband, if anyone objects, you can leave. You may now kiss each other."

Sam took a step closer to Grizz, reaching up to cup his face in his delicate hands, standing on his tip toes, and kissing him. Grizz gripped his face, feeling the wind getting knocked out of him as he usually felt when they kissed. But this one felt different. It was more than a kiss, it was a promise.

Sam and Grizz walked out of the church, Becca on Sam's arm, and Eden on Grizz's shoulders, smiles beaming on all of their faces.

#sam x grizz #grizzam #samgrizz #grizz #the society #wedding #oneshots #fanfic

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aleapoffaithfiction · 5 years ago

Text

XII.

Take care of me Talk all day then at night fall in deep Stimulate me I want you mental and physically I belong to you

Humans have always summed up paradise to be some sort of a place that we travel to in order to escape whatever is burdening our reality. It’s those Sandals Resort commercials that flash across our screens at random hours of the evening to entice us to bite the bait by making a phone call and grabbing our credit cards. Sometimes it’s a very specific place that you’ll have on a list of locations around the world that you often fantasize about visiting. It’s beaches that have sand that reflect in hues of gold with water so clear that it almost seems like it’s not even there as it surrounds you. It’s full body massages and facials done as a cool outdoor breeze brushes over your bare skin. Hell, sometimes it’s a great cocktail, a good Vogue magazine, and a nice amount of sun for a tan.

I get it. I do. A change in scenery is always great, but I’m starting to realize that paradise is truly a state of mind. It’s where you stand emotionally. For as long as you’re mentally at peace, you can have nirvana anywhere in the world.

I didn’t expect to be amongst so much of nature’s beauty towards the tail end of November. Typically, in the tristate area, the autumn toned leaves have already began to descend from the trees and cover the sidewalks, leaving the trees naked from the fall’s wrath. The brittle cold often brings about this lifelessness to anything green and we’re all covered in layers while trying our best to mentally and physically prepare for the brutally crisp weather that’s soon to come. We’re in our garages making sure the snowblowers are working properly and making sure the snow brushes are in our trunks for those mornings when we have to rush out ahead of time to get the car cleaned off.

Baton Rouge still feels as vibrant with color and life as it would be if it were the middle of a blazing hot summer. I feel like I’m walking in the midst of a canvas of colors painted by the divine. I cannot call it paradise because it’s not. It’s what the man who’s walking alongside me has made me feel since he’s come into my life. I’m smiling more. The laughing is so undeniable and endless. I rise in the morning without a mental clutter to sort through in order to have somewhat of a decent day. I rest at night with care and comfort covering me. I’m accepting emotional challenges that I’ve run from for quite some time.

I feel joy.

“Right here is good, stand there.”

“Beckham.” Yet again, I am the muse to his lens, or rather his iPhone. I’ve lost count of how many pictures I’ve posed for. I’m not sure when he added professional photographer to his resume but he’s edging my father out with his love of photographical keepsakes.

“Just pose.”

“I am not Naomi Campbell.”

“You could give her a run for her money though.”

“Now you’re really trying to butter me up. Naomi?” As I lean against the tree, I slipped my hands into my jacket to adjust the straps on the silk slip dress I’ve chosen to wear. Based upon my attire, it’s quite easy to tell that I’m not from here. Whether it’s the fact that I have on low top Converses with a dress or the leather jacket and Yankee cap, I stick out like a sore thumb. Though the late afternoon is slipping away and the early evening skies are trickling in, he still obliged my desire to have a walk by bringing me to the botanical garden owned by LSU. After the crawfish boil, I had to burn off the food and the Smirnoff coolers we guzzled down as if they were water. I’m not drunk but do I have a very slight buzz? For sure.

“Naomi, Tyra, those Hadid sisters. All of them.”

“Let’s make it a selfie. Come here.” Though we send one another whatever pictures we take, we captured a new selfie to add to our soon to be extensive collection with both of our phones. It turned out to be so adorable that I nearly made it my wallpaper.

“I must say that both Raton Rouge and New Orleans are quite beautiful. I’ve felt the cultural importance since we’ve arrived. I appreciate it.” We’ve been alone since we began walking here. Maybe it’s something that he called and made sure of or maybe he knows the hours when people aren’t very likely to be hanging around, but it’s been nice. While he may not consider it to be as such, it’s been a perfect date to me.

“I’m glad that you’ve enjoyed yourself baby. This place is a part of me and I figured if you’re going to know all of me then you have to know about where I come from. No article or pictures on Google will give you an accurate depiction. If anything, I think I need to start appreciating it more myself.”

“What do you mean?” My hand tightened around his own while our fingers remained laced together.

“Usually, when I’m looking to escape the cold or just have a change of scenery during the off season, I fly out to L.A. For the past couple of years, it’s been where I’ve done my training and lived until mandatory camps started in the middle of the summer. I’m starting to feel like I’ve neglected home. I have a realtor out here who sends me information on any property she thinks I’ll be interested in but usually end up blowing it off. I need to stop, though. I’m going to get a place down here and start visiting more often.”

“I think that’ll be good for you. Instead of doing your off-season training at UCLA, you can do it right over there at LSU. Maybe you should come down here and do a bit of that when you really get back out there after physical therapy. I feel like it could be super motivating.”

“I like that idea a lot.”

“And then you can have some big brother time with brothers in the midst of it. You know, let Sonny run around the field and tire himself out.”

“Yeah, Kordell is getting up there. He and Jazzy are growing like crazy. I want to take them both under my wings as much as possible.”

“They tease the hell out of you, but they all adore you in their own ways. Jazzy made sure to note how cute we are while we all were at the game the other day. She claimed that she can’t believe you pulled it off.” I knew he’d suck his teeth but it didn’t make it any less hilarious.

“Real funny. She said that shit to me too. Too bad she doesn’t realize how much her big brother has game.”

“Game? Sir, have a seat. That is not how you pulled it off.”

“Oh? How did I pull it off then?” His smirk wasn’t arrogance, but rather confidence in this so-called game that he speaks of.

“You humbled yourself and came correct.”

“Oh, so I’m not charming?”

“I didn’t say that. Coming correct includes the charm. I think more than anything I feel like in the midst of all of this, you’ve become my friend too. That’s important to me. It’s the little things; the little details. Those are the things that matter to me and you know it.”

“Oh. So…game.” As soon as I let go of his hand, I used my own to mush him out of the way as he loudly laughed at his own joke. He can’t help himself. Sadly, I’m laughing just as much as he is.

“Don’t play.”

“Nah, you know I’ve been sweating you for a long time now. Still sweating you too. I had no game. I just hoped you ended up liking me.”

“It’s so hilarious hearing this from you. I’ve sat in rooms with women who were and still are willing to do whatever for just a minute of your attention. These aren’t just any ol’ women either. Many of them are well known in many different professional areas. Whenever I’m asked how do I keep my composure around such fine men, your name is one of the first ones to be mentioned.”

“It’s flattering but there’s a shallowness in it that becomes boring quickly. I’m not capable of making connections with people who view me in that way. I guess it’s cool for a night in a hotel room together, but what comes after that?”

“You sure that you feel that way?” It sounds good, but ultimately, he’s going to always be viewed in that light and women will continue to make themselves readily available to do whatever is needed to appease his desires. Some are in the race for self-gain and there are others who are genuinely interested in the man that he is. I am only one person. I can offer him every part of me, but will that be enough for someone who has everything?

“I wouldn’t have pursued you if I didn’t. I have no intention to waste your time. I want you. That’s it.”

“That’s sweet.” Rather than kissing his lips, I cupped his face and annoyingly planted sloppy ones on his cheeks. A straight forward man is one to be appreciated. There aren’t too many of them who are ready and willing to admit what they feel without their pride formulating the words for them or standing in the way.

“Let’s go and get some ice cream.”

“Stop feeding me!” I’ve yet to turn anything down.

“What’s wrong with eating? It’s all gon’ go back here anyway.” His hand instantly smacked into my backside once he said that.

“We can get the ice cream, but I want a bottle of wine too. It’ll be nice to have a glass while we lounge around near the pool or something back at the house. No wait, let’s watch The Best Man.”

“Deal.”

While my feet rested on his lap, I nearly moaned as the taste of blackberry, black raspberry, and black cherry bitterly hit my tongue and went down my throat in the smoothest manner. My honey certainly held up his end of our bargain. I sat in the car while he grabbed chocolate sundaes from one of his favorite local ice cream parlors and he made a stop for the wine just minutes later. I didn’t expect him to grab bottles that were hundreds of dollars in price but I should have known better. He’s emphasized his desires to give me the best.

“If I find out that my best friend fucked my soon to be wife, we’re not getting married. I’m sorry.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’d never be able to look at her the same way. You know it’s true too. If you knew that your best friend slept with your soon to be husband, would you be able to look at him the same way? Not just him; the both of them.” If it happened in a cheating situation, hell no. If it happened before he and I knew one another, I guess we’d have to agree upon girl code. So, no.

“Probably not.”

“Exactly. You see those parts when he kept envisioning that shit going down between Harper and Mia? That’s exactly what would be going through my mind. I wouldn’t be able to deal with it. Salute to him for the courage though.”

“Sometimes love overcomes all. Then again, I’d have to put an asterisk next to that.”

“Yeah, because there’s no overcoming that kind of shit. I’m not even trying to be sexist about it because I know a lot of cheating conversations can be that way. I’ve had plenty of conversations with my boys to know that our ideologies of what we will and will not tolerate from women are super hypocritical and childish. It’s an ego thing.”

“At least you know. Jay did an interview and they asked him if the tables were turned, would he forgive Beyoncé for cheating on him and he admitted that it would be very hard. The expectation of forgiveness that men have is beyond unfair. Women tend to be valued not based upon the goodness that we bring to the table but instead by just how much bullshit we’re willing to endure. I was in that situation. I know it well.” Shamel once wrote in a card that my endurance for his nonsense is one of the main reasons why he loves me and it was yet another sign of how wrong I’d gone in trying to keep up with our failing relationship.

“That’s true. It’s all in part because we think too highly of ourselves. It’s also part of the reasons why we need to be needed. To be needed comes with a certain type of power that allows feelings to be taken advantage of. I want to be wanted and needed, but not in that sense. I love my pop, but there’s a lot of immaturity still within him and I don’t want to be his age with that mindset. It’s not a good look.” I’ve yet to meet him and I’m sure it’s with reason. They spoke on the phone once since we’ve been here and that was it.

My phone vibrated as it laid in my lap. Taylor. We haven’t spoken in a few days.

“Let me take this. I’ll be right back. You can turn to whatever since the movie is over. That’s all I wanted to watch.”

As I stood up, I took the glass of wine with me to the kitchen. It’s too damn good to leave behind.

“What’s up stranger? You’re either caught up with Jesse or you’re caught up with work. I’m betting on Jesse though, because when you’re caught up with work, I don’t hear the end of it.” She has one of the loudest giggles ever. It always sounds like a full-on laugh.

“It’s been work. Actually, that’s why I’m calling. I’ll be crashing at your place once I get up there tomorrow. Why stay in a hotel when I can just make myself comfortable in your guestroom, raid your fridge and eat for free, and spend some quality time with my friend? Win, win, win.”

“Freeloader.” She’s more than welcome.

“You love me anyway. What are you up too? How cold is it up there? What do I need to bring?”

“Girl, we’re one day away from December. You know what you need to bring. Warm clothes to cover your ass and a good quality coat. It’s sexy boot season, so bring a pair or two of those.”

“I am. Jesse’s flying out, so we’re all going to hang out.”

“I am no third will.”

“It won’t be like that. That’s all I’ll tell you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’ll see.” The playfulness in her tone is alarming. I know that voice. She’s up to something and whatever it is, is sure to annoy me.

“I am not double dating with you two. Don’t even try it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, we should grab tickets to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular and see it. Ice skating would be nice too, actually. We should do it.”

 “That sounds like fun. I’m down.”

“And a spa day. Let’s do a spa day. My treat.”

“Your treat? I’m even more down for that. I want the works too.”

“I need the works, especially a facial. I might need two of them. Oh, and what are we doing for New Years? We should plan something.” These past couple of New Years, I’ve watched the ball drop right in my living room with a glass of wine and went to bed straight after. Just the thought of being out in New York City in the midst of the madness give me anxiety and I don’t want to sit alongside my folks in church.

“Actually, no. We’re going to Miami for Diddy’s party on Star Island.” I’ve been invited to that multiple times and have never gone.

“Why? That’s so mixxy.”

“But it always looks like a great time. Think about it.” It does look like a great time, on the surface. It’s the perfect occasion to put on something ridiculously expensive and mingle amongst the elite in the entertainment world, but I tend to shy away from that. It’s troublesome. A lot of those people have their heads so far up their own asses, that their eyelashes are nearly poking out of their mouths.

“We’ll see.”

“My flight lands around like four-ish, I think. So, I’ll see you sometime after that.”

“Alright. Luckily, I took the day off, so I’ll be home.”

“We’ll have pizza for dinner. I have such a bad craving for it.”

“Sounds like a plan. Have a safe flight. Text me before you board.”

“Will do. Love you. See you tomorrow.”

“Love you.”

In one swallow, I took in the remnants of wine awaiting me. Along with the glass, I left my phone on the island counter top before I returned to him. I don’t need it; at least not for the remainder of the night. I just want to bask in him as I’ve been doing for three days.

The emerald green silk slip dress barely served as a barrier between the skin of my body and the denim covering his as I brazenly straddled his lap as a mere distraction to the television that currently had my likeness on its screen. There was something about the way he attentively focused on all that I had to say that sent every aspect of myself into overdrive. I know he’s seen that particular segment before. It’s only a replay of a discussion our panel had about what’s next for Lebron James. My confident commentary about the West Coast being next on his destinations to play has sparked a buzz that I don’t mind because my credibility will only level up once it’s proven to be true next summer.

I initially believed that it caught and kept his attention because it’s commentary on his all-time favorite NBA player and yet, he only glanced up at the screen when it was my turn to speak. His once lax body slightly arose and leaned forward as if it were going to bring him any closer to me. His damp tongue ran over his both of his lips while his slightly drunken eyes darkened and narrowed, in a manner that I couldn’t quite understand.

“Beckham.”

“I’ve been watching you on the show since its beginning. I don’t think I’ve missed many episodes and those that I did miss, I made sure to watch the clips on YouTube. It was the only way I could see you.” The aroma of red wine radiated from his tongue and into my nose while the warmth of his supple lips sluggishly grazed mine.

“And now that you’re here with me and you’re mine, I almost can’t believe it. It’s so surreal baby.”

“But why? I’m here.” Softly, I pecked his bottom lip as it lingered nearby.

“Are you really? You’re here? It’s me and you?” His questions held so many undertones and pleas for the unknown that’s ahead of us. He, much like myself, yearned for a certainty that I’m not sure if we’ll ever have no matter how much we dream of it. What have we done to ourselves?

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” And that’s my truth.

A hint of his breath soothed the chills trickling onto my neck and then came the gentle brush of his lips. My yearning for him was no match to the manner in which he chose his touch to be drawn out and savoring.

“Sarai Nazaire.” No one else says my name with such awe and tenderness. It only sounds beautiful in his tone of voice.

I stifled a sudden gasp as best as I could as his large palms met the bareness of my backside underneath the dress. My barely there panties weren’t an intentional choice. I only grabbed them because they were the first pair within my line of eyesight when I was looking through my luggage for undergarments but within this moment, I cannot bring myself to regret the decision to wear them. They’re red; yet another unintentional choice. Like the up and coming festive holiday, I’m covered in green and red and ready to be unwrapped by the man who views me as his present.

“O…” My eyes flew open at his sudden movement. As he stood to his feet, I was holstered up into his arms while my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. A thick rush of heat oozed from between my thighs as the mesh material began to drown in my aching for him. A flush filled my cheeks in distress at the reality of what I may be doing to the front of his dark washed jeans and yet it didn’t stop me from grinding against what was awakening beneath me.

“Your ankle.” Both the weight of his own body and mine pressing down on it couldn’t be a good thing for its current delicate state but my worry went ignored as he trekked towards the stairs that leads to the second floor. Those same stairs were also our pit stop.

Unlike before, he pressed more impenetrably and rougher onto my lips further awakening a ferociousness I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. His insistent tongue parted my quivering lips and further sent wild tremors along my nerves. My only response was to draw him closer to me, proving that I too, want him just as bad as he wants me. He turned my chosen task of getting his shirt over his head into difficulty because he refused to leave my lips without the taste of his, but with a momentary pause for breaths that we both needed to take, I succeeded and was finally able to wash my hands over the intricate artwork covering the smoothness of his entire back.

His beauty rendered me to speechlessness under the dim lighting cascading over us. No one feature makes him handsome; it seems like God judiciously created his every feature to perfectly correlate with all of the others in a manner to use him as an example of the goodness in all the work that he does. There’s something about his eyes though. They’d be beautiful in any shade, because it’s not the physical form but rather the intensity and honesty held within them that speaks his truth.

I needed to taste the additional skin now exposed to me. Running my hands over it was no longer satisfying within the moment. I left his velvety lips with pecks of a promise to return them and slowly trailed my kisses down over his dewy neck and onto his chest. In fairness, he paused to allow me the satisfaction and I laved my tongue over his caramel nipple as soon as I felt it against my lips. My heart pummeled against my lightly heaving chest as he lightly grunted and slipped his hands under the emerald silk yet again. This time, it wasn’t to feel anything, but rather to remove. As his glare trailed down to my own, my lips fell agape as the tips of his fingers calmly wrapped around the red meshed fabric and drew it down my thighs until it was it was dangling in front of me.

“These are nice.” He admired them for a few seconds before bringing them to his nose for a sharp inhale. My gasp was barely audible as he closed his eyes and savored the aroma of me. To further anguish me, his tongue made contact with the damage I’d done to them. Finally, it was his fingers. They glistened as we both admired them and like a man dying of thirst, he too, sucked those into his mouth to lap up every lingering bit.

“Sarai. Fuck.” His words were whispered. They weren’t to me but rather out loud commentary about what he’d just experienced. I’m not sure why I haven’t combusted into a pillar of nothingness because I don’t know how much more of this, I’m going to be able to withstand. Suddenly, I’ve drawn a blank on what it means to pleasure a man and I feel like the inexperienced girl back in Brooklyn trying to find her way within her womanhood and sexuality. I gave myself my first orgasm and the many others I’ve had since the first time I laid down with a man, have been by my own doing as well. I’m sure it makes perfect sense that I know me better than anyone else does, but it hasn’t stopped me from fantasizing about someone stepping up to the challenge to know and teach me things that I’ve yet to learn about myself. I now know more than ever, that I should be careful about what I ask for.

The cool air brushing against all that continued to seep from me drew a whimper. Every throb is a plea. The pulsations seem like the pending death of me. It’s been so long since I’ve been fully exposed to a man and I can only hope that I’m enough for him.

The bit of my nectar that seeped onto his tongue met mine as he snaked his own back into my mouth for a fervent kiss. I had no shirt to pull, so I drew him in by his shoulders. Yet again, I swathed my legs around him and used the heels of my feet to further sink his body between my tender thighs.

“Please.” I never beg. I never fucking beg.

“Please, what Sarai?” He no longer smelled of wine. I superseded it.

I thought it was mind clutter ruining every complete thought I’ve been trying to make all along but instead it’s all of me trying my hardest to respond to the frenzy he’s taking me through. He only worsened it when he dropped the dress that he was once complimenting earlier alongside his feet. His eyes held a warning in them and I halted what would have been a movement to cover myself. The ravenousness glaring over me is beyond intimidating. It’s a brink of life and death. His gawking felt like hours. It left us in a stillness while his hands caressed my sides and his mind attempted to remember the detailing of everything that I am.

“You’re flawless.”

“No, I’m not.” I’m well enough. Flawless? No.

“It wasn’t a question.”

He silenced me.

With both hands placed on my thighs, he stepped down three steps to leave his face directly angled with what yearned for all of his attention the most. The further he pries my thighs apart, the more I could feel myself peeling apart for him. He wasted no time using his fingers to get a sample of what he’d done to me. I thought he’d be amused, but determination filled his expression. Moving was no option as his head leaned in and his lips met the flesh awaiting him. A simple kiss was all it took to intensify the electricity in my steaming skin. Then came another lingering one. My back lightly pressed against the edges of a few steps in a manner to relax myself but that was short lived as his tongue slithered around my clit with just the right amount of a flicker to evoke slight numbness in my fingers and the tips of my toes.

“Odell…” His name was all I could remember. He made sure of that.

He deliberately lagged his tongue in a manner to become further acquainted with the teaser of a taste he had of me just minutes ago. It trailed from the very end of me and made its way to the top, only stopping to quench his thirst with every bit of liquid flowing out of me. My hips bucked, pushing forward to meet him as my fingers met the blond mane of curls resting on top of his head. I quickly developed a love and hate relationship with the manner that he chose to go about this. Time was of no essence. I can only imagine the discomfort he’s feeling and the freedom he needs from the remainder of clothes that he’s wearing and yet, not even me sinking his head further into my heat could quicken his pace.

“Oh my God!”

I could no longer keep up with the rhythms in which he chose to lap at me with. He interchangeable sucked at me and delved his tongue deep within my pulsating walls with a hum that was sure to cause them to collapse. He refuses to miss a single drop. My pleas for mercy go unanswered because he only answered to my body’s call for him to continue.

His attack on my clit drew yelps from me that reached pitches I’d never heard from myself. I’ve never been a screamer. I’ve always viewed it as over exaggeration of pleasure and overcompensation for a poor performance from a man that you either expected more from or never wanted in your bed in the first place. Much like Miranda Hobbes, I can admit to being the “hurry up and get it over with” woman with men. If they got theirs before I did, I usually wasn’t too upset because it allowed me the opportunity to get the hell out of dodge sooner. I learned tricks to make my ex cum faster so he’d get the fuck out of my face. The control worked for me.

Now? I have none. I’m at his mercy. He’s owning me and I cannot find an ounce of willpower to resist it for the sake of my ego. His tongue in all of its viciousness is staking a claim on me as he laps every letter of not his first, but his last name, within me. I could feel the loops of the B. I clenched at the four lines of the E. The C, like a crescent moon, was a teaser but he made it up to me with the lines of the K as he plunged his tongue within my depths to lick it out. H was done on the outskirts of my clit; then he ran his tongue against it to make the connecting bar. A was done by him trailing his tongue down each side of me and yet again running it over my clit to create a connecting bar. Dear God. It was so drawn out, I shuttered through every moment of it.

“You want the Jr. too baby?”

“Odell please. Don’t.”

And he gave it to me. Both letters and the ending punctuation.

His fingers returned and my walls swallowed them as his tongue continued its assault on me. A shrill spilled out of me in unison with his own intoxicating moans. The pressure within my pelvis only intensified the more he continued. My body basked in the elation he chose to grant me. My chest heaved in a need for more oxygen than I was receiving and the trembling of my thighs as they lay on either side of his head only urged him on even more. Every limb that he stole control from, filled with goosebumps and jittered against the steps as the peak of his tongue’s performance ripped through me in a ferocity that I wasn’t be prepared for. Nothingness became of me as my voice filled every space throughout our home for the weekend and my weakened limbs unraveled in a manner that felt like dead weight as I lay there quivering through euphoria.

“Let’s go get in the bed.”

“Okay.” Jell-O. He turned my once sturdy legs into exactly that. All concern for his ankle went out of the window when he lifted me up and carried me the rest of the way. I’m sure I would have slept on the steps if he didn’t.

The softness of the Barocco print comforter lulled my bare frame the further I sank myself into it. Prickling still teased random portions of me. He didn’t have to touch me. Just the sight of his impeccably chiseled body standing alongside the bed was enough to rev me up once again. Unlike earlier, a rush of edginess washed over me as the bed dipped signifying his presence and what is to be the beginning of a closeness that we’ve yet to have.

My thighs parted, awaiting his arrival, and he nestled himself in-between them. Both of his hands cupped the sides of my face and I arose to meet his lips halfway. Every nerve ending within me synced with him in a manner that I can’t quite put into words. The beating of our hearts meshed in a unison that gave me comfort and reassurance.

“You trust me?”

“I do.” The taste of his kiss left me heavily drunken from him. He left no part of my lips untouched; savoring them in a manner that felt like they were only made for his touch.

“You don’t know what you do to me, Sarai.”

“I…”

My lips fell apart in a hitch as my back arched at the sudden feel of him surging through me. Chills sieged every piece of me as I internally welcomed all that he pummeled forth. A gasp instantly turned into a hiss as he paced himself and further sank into me with groans that filled my ears like the sweetest notes. He paused, allowing the both of us to revere in our oneness. My imagination failed me. The quiet fantasies are all laughable. Absolutely none of them hold a candle to the feeling of him. Anything I thought I knew is unrivaled. This fullness is beyond anything. I’ve lost all sense of everything. Time has escaped us and diminished.

“Damn…”

His teeth deeply sank into his bottom lip as he bore into my eyes. His profanity was met with my own uncontainable clenching around him. I could feel him everywhere as he withdrew from me and plunged even further, to the point of driving me into a delirium that I may not be able to come back from. No matter how much I widen my legs or attempt to loosen the tightness in my core, I can’t get used to him and yet it’s a challenge that I’m willing to take endlessly. I thought the pace was for me, but he’s intentionally drawing this out, wanting to feel my every response to him. Every stroke is snatching my voice; leaving cracks in-between my cries and streaks of hoarseness to follow. The wetness on my face isn’t sweat, but instead my tears.

In almost feels experimental. He’s learning me. With his head buried into my chest and his lips attached to the skin of my nipple, he continued to find new ways to submerge me into a world that’s only about he and I. My once still hips, rocked in the rhythms of his choice.

“You feel so fucking good.”

Our eyes met and I could see nothing else but myself within them. The reality of who he is vanished and he’s nothing more than a man; my man. There is no worry or fear here. Every chance encounter I avoided was fate. I’m marveling in the beauty of his spirit and the way it calls for mine to live in solace with it.

I don’t want to overthink but instead just be. I’m caught in his storm and blissfully dancing and singing in the rain. He sees me, just as much as I do him. Unstripped, unraveled, and unmasked, he’s sought to go beyond the barriers and to find the vulnerable me that I’ve buried in the deepest abyss some years ago. I cannot question why or how. I have no answers either. It’s all above and beyond me in every single sense; God’s reasons and timing.

“Look at me.” All of his fingers dug into the softness of my hips. “Look at me.”

An unbearable tension filled the pit of my core as his drive only intensified. My toes tightly curl, touching the bottom inches of my feet. My every sense went into overdrive in an attempt to match the energy exerting from my body and into his. Every pulsation shook my dampened limbs as a wave of sightlessness left me blinded to all that surrounded me. I leaked onto his flesh ferociously; coating him with what he’d been sucking from me on the steps.

He worked through it. It was of no distraction to him and his missions. The pulsating coerced a challenge. He intended to master me. He groaned against my lips, muffling my croaky yelps. If he didn’t know his name before, he certainly knows it now because it’s all I know and can say to him. I trembled to his touch; his fingers digging into my skin, the heat radiating from his chest being pressed against mine, and most of all, from the way he’s swelling inside of me and further expanding my soaking flesh.

“Sarai!”

His calls for me shattered my soul. The roaring grunt that poured out of him came in harmony with my beckoning for mercy. Skin to skin, breath to breath, I soaked up all that he oozed into me like a hot lava. As he shuttered against me, he sucked on my bottom lip to pacify himself. We’d both been rendered to a speechlessness that made perfect sense.

The aroma of the burning wood within the fireplace meddled with the scent of us. A soft wind howled against the windows in a medley that I hadn’t heard until now.

I caressed him in a silent plea to keep him as close to me as he is now. His kisses don’t cease; instead his tongue is yet again meeting mine, deepening them.

I love this city; the city that birthed him.

God, I love it so much.

#odell beckham jr fanfic #odell beckham fanfic #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic

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themoonandotherslikeit · 5 years ago

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The Hand That Reaches for God -Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

“And in the end, we were all just humans… drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

-20 Months Before-

After one glass of Jack Daniels, neat, Dean Winchester felt the familiar warmth. He felt the fog rolling off the water first thing in the morning. It was a comfort, an old friend.

After two glasses of Jack Daniels, neat, he felt tingling in his arms down to his fingers. It was the way his body felt during a concert when he stood too close to the speaker. He could feel the base booming through his veins.

After three glasses of Jack Daniels, neat, he almost forgot about the jagged scar down his knee and Tiny Tim’s walking stick that leaned against the bar. Almost.

“I should cut you off.” The pretty brunette bartender said after serving him the fourth glass of Jack Daniels, neat.

“But you never do.” He slurred just enough, and shot her the best smile he could do when he was feeling so down. It wasn’t impressive, but he was handsome and weathered, and that was exactly her type.

“I’m Lisa.” She said, leaning in.

“I know.” He pointed at her name tag above her left breast. “I can read.”

“It would be appropriate to tell me your name.”

“You don’t want to know me, Lis.”

Lisa rolled her eyes. “Why not? Because you’ve had a bad time of it? We get a lot of Vets in here. I know the drill.”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “You get a lot of Veterans, but yet you still don’t know to leave us the fuck alone? You’d should move along, sweetheart, you don’t know shit about war.”

“I had two older brothers die while in service. I know a little about it.” She said, flatly as she wiped down the bar top.

“Shit.” Dean ran his fingers through his hair. He was an asshole. He was a crippled asshole.

“You all think that you own your pain, I’m just telling you that there are people who get it. There are people who could help you.”

“What? People like you?”

Lisa laughed and shook her head. “Me? Fuck no. You’re attractive, but you’re an ass.” She said, handing him his tab. “I’ll take that whenever you’re ready.”

After his accident everyone walked on eggshells with him. They did worse than that most of the time. Most of the time they avoided him all together. It was nice to be called out, because she was right. He was an ass, and he was wallowing. He pulled out some cash from his wallet and laid it down, deciding right then and there that he would be good enough for her one day. He had to be, because the alternative meant that he would be his father, and he would be damned if he ended up anything like John Winchester.

-19 Months Before-

“Lisa, the guy is here again.” One of the wait staff from the bar said.

She rolled her eyes and ate the last bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He was like clockwork, every day. “Dean.” She said when she reached the bar.

“Shit, am I late?”

“Late for what?”

“Your break. You usually take it at this time and well…” He held up a paper bag. “I brought you dinner.”

She eyed him. “What’d you bring?”

“Bacon cheeseburger. It’s my favorite.” He shrugged, handing her the paper bag. “You can have it, anyway.” He stood up from the stool.

“Where are you going?” Lisa asked, eyeing him, the bag in her hand.

His green eyes met her brown ones. “I was just here to drop that off.”

“You’re not going to stay?”

Dean shook his head. “I’m not ready, Lis. I’m only going to ask you out when I’m good enough for you.” He leaned on his cane to take the pressure off of his bad knee. “So for now… take the burger as a peace offering.”

He walked to the door and opened it. “Dean?” She called after him.

“Yeah?” He turned toward her.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He nodded and pushed into the night.

-18 Months Before-

Dean brought Lisa dinner every night that she worked. He brought her doughnuts and coffee when she worked the day shift at the bar, and quickly learned her food preferences. The more he went to see her, the less he felt the self-loathing that plagued him.

He brought in her turkey bacon club with extra guacamole and spicy french-fries from the local place on the corner. He pushed into the bar. “Hey, Lance, where’s Lis?”

“She told me to have you meet her out back.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. He expected at some point that she would be sick of him, and he sighed, gripping the bag. He pushed too hard. He walked through the back door to find Lisa sitting alone at a single table with two plates, and a glass of water in front of her and the other empty seat. “Lis?”

“Hey, Dean.” She stood up with a smile. “Are you ready yet?”

“What?”

“You said you had to wait until you were ready to ask me out and well… I decided that I’m ready. I got you a bacon cheeseburger, and I was wondering if you’d want to have dinner with me… for real this time.”

Dean smiled a bit and nodded. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

-16 Months Before-

“Dean, babe, wake up.” Lisa said quietly. He sat up, sweat covering his chest, back, and face. Lisa’s hand was over his heart. “Your pulse is racing.”

“Sorry.” He exhaled, trying to catch his breath and slow his heart. He clamped his eyes shut. You’re okay. You’re okay.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “No... I…”

“It’s okay.” She assured him, wrapping her arms around his middle. She placed a kiss on his jaw. “I’m here to talk when you’re ready.”

But he would never be ready. He still saw the look on Charlie’s face. How wide her eyes got. How she was laughing right before.

“You’re seriously telling me you have no one at home? Even I left some ass behind.”

“You’re vulgar.” He laughed, shaking his head.

“And you’re a prude, Winchester.”

Dean shrugged with a laugh. “I’m not, actually. I just don’t have anyone at home.”

Charlie narrowed her eyes. “Maybe it isn’t a girl… oh my god, Dean are you gay?”

He rolled his eyes. “Christ, no. I am not gay.”

“It’s okay if you are, you know. I am.”

“I’m aware.” He grinned.

“I’m just surprised, I guess. You look like a fucking supermodel. Your face is perfectly symmetrical. It’s kind of creepy. You really don’t have any girls coming after you?”

“Hey, my face is not creepy.”

She laughed. “Deflection. Nice, but yeah it is kind of creepy.” She poked his cheek. “You don’t even look real.”

Dean always expected that being buried alive would be the thing that would haunt him forever, but life was funny like that. Life was real fucking hilarious, and he was the butt of the joke. It wasn’t the child size coffin, or dirt in his lungs that haunted him. It was something else altogether.

The smell of burning flesh. The sight of Charlie’s arm off her fucking body. His knee completely twisted so his foot was facing the wrong direction. The sight of her empty expression looking up at him from his lap.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. It’s not that bad. It’s not that bad, you’ll be okay.” He pressed his hands to the space where her arm used to be. They always teased her about being pale, but fuck she was so pale. “I’ve got you.” He kept whispering. They were alone. There wasn’t a medic. There was no one. Just Dean Winchester holding Charlie Bradbury as she died in his arms, bloody and alone.

“I’m here, Dean. I’ll always be here.” Lisa promised, hugging him tightly. Dean wished that people wouldn’t make promises, because there was no way they could be kept. Charlie died, Lisa left, and he was broken. He probably always would be.

-18 Days After-

“Lisa.”

“Oh my god.” She murmured, her eyes immediately spilling over. “I thought… This whole time I’ve been so terrified. I thought you were dead.”

“Not dead.” He said blankly. It was like he was shot back into time, back into her bed, into her arms.

“I’m so glad.” She exhaled quickly, running around the coffee cart. She wrapped her arms around his neck before he could stop her. “You have no idea how good it is to see you.”

He instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her back. As bad as things ended between them, he was glad that she was okay, too. “Where’s uh…”

“Greg is gone.” She said quickly.

“Gone?”

“He left after Ben was born.”

“Ben.” Dean said slowly, trying out the name on his lips. He felt sick to his stomach.

“That’s my son. He’s beautiful.”

Everything crashed and burned. My son. Dean let go of the hug. “I’m glad you’re okay, Lis.” He said before turning on his heels and walking right back to Sam, leaving her standing alone next to the coffee cart.

“Where’s the coffee?” Sam asked. He was sitting with his back against a tree with his legs stretched out in front of him.

“The what?”

“You good?” Sam asked, eyeing him.

“Lisa is here.”

“Wait, like your Lisa?”

Dean nodded quickly. “Yeah, she was running the fucking coffee.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” Dean sighed. “What are the fucking chances?”

“Did she say anything to you?”

“She hugged me.”

“And?”

“And her boyfriend dumped her after she had the baby. Ben.” Dean said quietly. “Fuck, I never thought I’d see her again.”

“But you don’t want to be with her, right? You’re with Emerson.”

“Right.” Dean said with a nod. “I want to be with Em. Shit, this just surprised me.”

“I’ll say. Relax, dude, just tell her you’re not available, and don’t drink her cool aid. It’ll be okay.”

“Right.” Dean said again, his heart rate finally slowing back down. “Just brought back some shitty memories.”

“Maybe you should sit down?”

“Yeah.” He lowered himself to a seated position. “Have you seen Em?”

“She’s still with Phel getting settled. I hope they’re getting some rest.” Sam said, elbowing his brother. “We should get some rest, too. This is the safest we’ve been in day’s. We should take advantage of it while it lasts.” Then Sam closed his eyes and crossed his arms.

Dean was exhausted, but sleep was reserved for the guys that weren’t juggling an ex-fiancée and a childhood love in the same fucking camp.

****

“My hair looks fine.” Emerson swatted her sister’s hand away. “Quit Trying to braid it.”

“Please! You haven’t washed it in days.”

“Neither have you!”

“Yeah, but you can’t tell because of the braids! Just let me do the front. Dean will love it.”

“You don’t know what he’d love.” Emerson complained.

“You’re right.” Pheli put her hands on her sisters knees. “What does he love?”

“It’s all so new, Phel. Am I crazy to try to start this during all of this? During the fucking end of the world?”

“If not now, then when?

“The next life?” Em offered weakly.

“Come on, what do you have to lose?”

“Everything. I could lose everything.”

“You’ll only lose everything if you let him see your nasty hair.” Ophelia teased. “Now let me braid the front!”

“You are terrible at pep talks.”

“Or am I really good at them?”

“Whatever just braid it before I change my mind.”

****

Benny sat by the fire as it licked up toward the moon. His acoustic guitar sat on his knee. “Say you’re leavin on a seven thirty train and you’re headin out to Hollywood. Girl, you been givin me that line so many times it kinda gets like feelin bad looks good.”

Dean laughed and Benny nodded at him.

“That kinda lovin turns a man to a slave. That kinda lovin sends a man right to his grave.” Garth joined in, singing off key, just like old times.

“I go crazy, crazy, baby I go crazy. You turn it on, then you’re gone. Yeah you drive me crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby. What can I do, honey? I feel like the color blue.” Benny and Garth sang together. They sounded like a pair of coyotes howling at the moon, but it reminded Dean of when things were good.

“Is this what is was like?” Sam asked him, leaning against the tree.

“Was what like?”

“Your deployment.”

“Kind of.” Dean said with a smile. “Sometimes.”

Castiel joined in, strumming on his knee completely off beat. He waved Dean over, and Dean finally rolled his eyes and walked right up to the group. “You’re packin’ up your stuff and talkin like it’s tough, and tryin to tell me that it’s time to go. But I know you ain’t wearin nothin underneath that coat.” Dean sang with his gravely voice, his boot on the stump next to Benny.

“Crazy, crazy, baby I go crazy...”

Dean’s eyes locked with Emerson across the camp as she exited Castiel’s tent. Pheli had braided her hair out of her face, but the rest spilled down her back. Her flannel was tied around her waist, and his breath hitched in his throat when she reached up to stretch and the space between her shorts and her tank top met the firelight.

“I need your love, honey, yeah. I need your love.” The men harmonized, without Dean. His mouth was completely dry. She did that to him, caused his head to spin, like nothing else in the world mattered at all.

Garth handed Dean a beer. “They’re far and few between.” He winked. “But we’re celebrating, right?”

“Right.” Dean exhaled, his eyes still on Emerson as she walked toward the fire.

“Dean!” Lisa said, as she jogged over to him. She had an infant in her arms.

He swallowed hard at the sight. Holy shit. “Lis.” He breathed, her name barely a whisper.

“I wanted you to meet Ben.” Her eyes flickered up to Sam’s. “Oh, hi Sam.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Lisa.”

“It’s nice to see you, Sam.”

“Likewise.” He said through gritted teeth.

“Look at him.” Dean said, distracted by the child’s chubby cheeks. He had Lisa’s dark hair and her lips. His tiny thumb was in his mouth as he sucked away. He didn’t notice Lisa snake an arm around his waist to bring Ben closer. “Wow.”

“He’s incredible.” She agreed.

Little Ben gave a sleepy sigh and a few baby babbles, causing Dean’s heart to squeeze. He never let himself admit how much he wanted that. Not until he almost had it. He loved Lisa, and he loved her pregnant. When he left he knew it would be better. He wasn’t made to be a father, but that didn’t mean he didn’t secretly wish for it in the deepest parts of his soul. “Hi, Ben. I’m...”

“Dean.”

His eyes flickered up. “Em, hey.”

The Maklen twins stared at him. When they were young he used to think they were creepy. There was always something creepy about twin girls, especially when they stared at him. He stopped thinking that, the older he got, but in that moment Ophelia had a murder look in her eyes and Emerson’s jaw looked tight. “Uh, Em this is Lisa...”

“Lisa.” Emerson repeated.

“Yeah, uh Lis this is Em my...”

“Friend.” Emerson said, smoothly. “Our sibling’s are dating.” She added quickly. “This is Ophelia.” She tapped her sisters arm.

“Nice to meet you.” Pheli said with equal parts aggression and sugar. She was good at that.

“I was just helping her over to Sam since she hurt her ankle. I’ll see you guys later.” Emerson said before turning away.

Dean stared at her and didn’t stop her as she walked away and sat on a log right next to another guy who was sharping a blade. He pressed his lips together and just watched.

“Dean you fucking idiot.” Phel hissed. “Go after her.”

He watched her lean in to him, asking questions about the knife, he assumed. Friend. Our siblings are dating.

“I think I need to lay down.” He said, offering Lisa a weak smile. “See ya later, Lis. He’s a cute kid, really.”

“Thanks.” She said, looking confused as he made his way back to the tree that he and Sam were using for camp.

He looked at the full beer in his hand that Garth gave him. He stared down the neck of the bottle before pressing it to his lips, and welcoming the warmth. It wasn’t Jack, but he’d be happy if it helped him sleep. Anything to quiet the noise in his head, and blank out the image of some other guy’s baby in Lisa’s arm, that guy’s hand on Emerson’s thigh, and the life draining from Charlie’s eyes.

—————

Chapter Fourteen

Get caught up!

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viaverona · 6 years ago

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please don’t say you love me.

characters: changkyun / reader genre: angst, a bit of fluff, a very small bit of smut / cw: alcohol word count: 1.8k summary: despite his promises, changkyun falls for the wrong person.

song: billie eilish - when the party’s over

prompt 1 of what was originally supposed to be an october writing challenge, but will now continue indefinitely bc i suck at this and nobody is surprised

➢ masterlist; ➢ comments & requests;

Changkyun’s mouth is your least favourite thing about him, if you had to choose.

Sometimes, it knows exactly what to say, the words so sweet and takes so wise he can leave you speechless. Changkyun is a great speaker, charming, intelligent, charismatic and everything else that makes you want to drink in every word that passes through his lips. Other times, he speaks without thinking, his words more dangerous than a sharpened blade, his cynicism seeping heavy through every letter. You’ve known Changkyun since he was in diapers and he developed a smart mouth from the moment he became aware of the world surrounding him. It got him in trouble just about as much as it earned him favours. He is poetic, he is harsh; he is thoughtless, he is sensible. Everyone either adores or despises him.

You are firmly on one side of that scale and it has nothing to do with the way his tongue runs alongside the most sensitive of your parts, taking you to your highest highs as you clench around the expert tip of his tongue that could so easily ruin lives.

You unclasp your fingers out of his hair, lungs still struggling to fill with air after it got knocked out of you while Changkyun gives a pat on your thighs, pulling back with a satisfied smirk, lips glistening with your release. He looks very proud of himself as he jumps in bed next to you, propping his arms behind his head. Wordlessly, you stand up and pull your underwear and trousers on, then throw him his t-shirt.

“We need to be at Hyunwoo’s in 20 minutes, get dressed.”

“What if we don’t go?” he says. “We get some pizza, put on a shitty movie and get some cuddles in.”

“Cuddles?!” You ask, frowning. “What’s gotten into you lately, you’re acting weird. Are you going all soft on me?”

Changkyun thinks for a long second, his eyes scanning your face for any indication on whether you think going soft would be good or not. “Would that be so terrible?” The laugh you let out in response claws at his heart.

“Stop joking around. Look everyone’s already there, come on.”

Changkyun is quiet the entire bus trip to your friend’s house. He is in no mood for a party when his brain’s going a hundred miles per hour with vivid images of you and he chastises himself for allowing this to happen, to fall for the one person he promised he wouldn’t. There’s anger bubbling in his stomach at the way you’re sitting next to him, completely oblivious of the grip you’ve taken on his heart, on his entire existence and he feels like he’s about to burst at the seams if he doesn’t let it out somehow.

Changkyun disappears from your side as soon as you step inside Hyunwoo’s house. His only goal for tonight is to drink his feelings away and that’s exactly what the stacked bar is going to do. He grabs a small bottle of rum and plops himself down on the couch next to two people he’s never met, and he never will because he spares them no second glance, even when they’re trying to include him in the conversation.

He hates the way you have no trouble starting mingling with people right away. Changkyun watches intently as he nurses the bottle to his lips. You look so bright and beautiful greeting the host and his jock friends and he despises it; he despises that you’re the only thing on his mind lately. Twenty years he’s known you and he never thought he would end up caught in this moment like a fool, pining for someone who doesn’t share his feelings, at least not in the way he wants them to. He is a much too rational and proud person to accept his fate as a victim of his heart; that weak, stupid heart that decided it would only beat faster for one person only: you.

You don’t see each other for most of the party. You are usually inseparable, but tonight Changkyun’s avoiding you, choosing instead to waste away in corners of the room without ever speaking to anyone. He watches the party goers, judging every step they take until you catch his eye for a split second with the way you smile or do that annoying hair flip over your shoulder or fiddle with the hem of your dress as you speak to someone. Normally, he would have been out of there as soon as he realized he wasn’t in the mood for any social gatherings, but he’s stubbornly sticking it out tonight, refusing to let you out of his sight.

It’s about 3am when the party winds down and people go their own ways; everyone except himself, you, Hyunwoo and a couple other friends who decide to catch the sunrise together from the living room floor.

“There’s only one thing we should be doing right now,” one guy with a creepy smile suggests. He’s wearing a boisterous floral shirt that Changkyun finds absolutely disgusting and he’s sitting cross legged in the middle of a fouton like he’s the king of the castle. “Never have I ever anyone?”

There’s a whoop of approval around the room and someone is already filling the shot glasses with poison, then one by one they start spilling questions.

“Never have I ever had sex in a public space,” red haired girl whose name Changkyun cannot remember offers with an innocent smile. He drinks, you drink, and exchange a quick knowing look. That was pretty early on at the start of this friends with benefits thing. Having sex in the Swedish literature aisle of your library was not either of your proudest moments, but it earned a chuckle every time it got brought up. You’d promised the library was off limits after that.

Two rounds in, everyone starts getting rowdier as the question become more revealing than Changkyun is willing to let know. He feigns a stomach ache and pauses his drinking; you, on the other hand, barely glance towards him as you become enraptured with the group’s stories. Your cheeks are dusted in red as you drink for yet another racy questions and you smile shyly when people inevitably ask for details. Changkyun doesn’t hear anything. He’s tuned out the voices, the noises, all his senses are just drowning in the way you’re slouched against a couch, tucking your hair behind your ear and wetting your pretty, sinful lips that he never gets to kiss like he wants to. Everyone disappears and it’s just you.

“-kyun?” The call of his name pulls him out of his momentary reverie. “It’s your turn.”

They all fall silent waiting for him to say something and Changkyun’s eyes are fixed into yours. He licks his lips, takes a deep breath and says, “Never have I ever fallen in love with my best friend.”

The air feels heavy as the words float around the living room that stinks of booze and people. Changkyun doesn’t even wait for anyone to drink before he downs his entire glass.

“I’m not in the mood to play anymore,” you say, pushing yourself up off the floor and storming to the exit.

Good job, Changkyun, you’ve really done it this time.

“Wait, where are you going?!” Changkyun chases after you, but you speed up every time you feel he’s near. “Hey! Stop!”

You come abruptly to a halt and he stops several feet behind you. When you eventually get the courage to turn around and face him, you are fighting back tears.

“Why would you say that?” you whisper.

“Because it’s true. Because I—“

“Don’t say it. Please don’t say you love me.”

In spite of it, Changkyun blurts out almost immediately. “I love you.”

“Changkyun!!” his name comes out in a sob and it’s the last straw before your tears begin streaming down your flushed cheeks. He knows he should feel guilty. He feels everything but that. He feels free, weightless, you’re finally aware. “It was our rule, that we wouldn’t fall in love. You said you wouldn’t.”

“That was a year ago! How could I have known the effect you’d end up having on me? How could I have known you would end up being the only person I want and need.”

“You’re drunk and you don’t mean that.”

“I might be drunk but I mean every single word.”

You sob again and fall into a crouch on the pavement, face buried into your arms. Normally, he would be your shoulder to cry on whenever you needed and now he couldn’t. His fingers itch to grab you by the shoulders, to bury themselves into your hair as he held you. He never wanted to be the reason for your tears and now he didn’t know how to make it better.

“I’m sorry, I tried to stop myself.”

“How did you try? By having more sex together?” You are right, that was a lie. He didn’t really try. He should have put an end to it as soon as he realized things were changing, but he couldn’t. He became intoxicated, he wanted, no, he needed more of you, more of your time, more of your body, more of your mind. You’d started this relationship out of a mistake, a simple yearning to know what it would be like that ended in a year long situation. It was great for a while, but Changkyun should have known it wouldn’t last and he couldn’t make you love him, not like that. He’d been selfishly holding on and now it was painfully sinking in. Your waning sobs become sad laughter. “You know, I always thought it would be me,” you confess, “that I’d catch feelings and ruin everything. Funny, right?”

“Hilarious,” he says sarcastically. “I take it it’s over.”

You stand up and use a sleeve of your dress to wipe the tear stains on your face. “You think?! Maybe we shouldn’t have started it in the first place.”

“Don’t say that. It will kill me if you’re going to regret this whole year. Give me that, at least.”

Changkyun is your best friend. He looks like your best friend. But at that moment he doesn’t sound like himself any longer. He sounds like a fool in love; he sounds like you two years ago banging on your ex-boyfriend’s door pathetically begging him to take you back. Changkyun has been there through that and through everything else. You pity him and his foolish heart and you almost wish you could have given him yours back in the same way just to spare him the ache that’s yet to come.

“Come on, loser, walk me home and then don’t talk to me for a week.”

#mxwriters #monsta x scenarios #monsta x #changkyun #i.m #monsta x fanfic #monsta x angst #changkyun scenarios #changkyun angst #i.m scenarios #olivejar

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rambling-at-midnight · 7 years ago

Text

Slytherin Sherlock x Slytherin Reader

-For the longest time Sherlock’s been hearing this voice in his head

-About as long as he’s been going to Hogwarts

-He supposes it’s just another one of his thoughts or maybe the Mind-Palace-Mycroft

-You’re both just as annoying

-Eventually he investigates

-It’s in the Slytherin common room that he sees you

-A first year like him, doing homework and laughing at something someone who’s not important enough to be in here said

-And he just stares at you

-Because he’s not said a word to you

-And you’re in his palace?????

-He doesn’t even know your name

-Or at least he doesn’t think he does

-But he approaches you, scowling, and demands to know what you’re doing in here

-You turn around, still smiling, and just say

-’Well, how am I supposed to know, dummy? You put me here’

-He leaves his Mind Palace and looks up and you’re exactly where you are in his Mind Palace

-Just laughing at something another boy said

-He doesn’t know why you’re in his Mind Palace so he strives to find out

-He doesn’t talk to you the entire first, second, and third years

-Just kinda lurks behind you

-He’s positive you haven’t noticed

-He just doesn’t know why you’re in his Mind Palace considering you two have never even spoken

-He doesn’t know why he even bothers

-All you do is hang out with that Gryffindor John Watson and the Hufflepuff Molly Hooper

-You’re nothing like him or Mycroft

-You get decent grades sure and you always show up to class on time sure but your hair is always ruffled and pulled into a quick bun with quills sticking out of it like you’re some bloody porcupine

-Whenever he’s in his mind palace you just show up and tag along behind him

-And just say sarcastic things that make him snort

-And you should be annoying but he doesn’t mind you being there all that much

-He just kind of accepts it

-Like maybe you’re just there because you’re interesting

-And anyways, Yule Ball fourth year

-Sherlock’s just sitting and brooding in his chair and staring at you because you’re the only person in this whole bloody school he can’t figure out

-You’re working on homework as always

-And for some unknown reason both the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor are working with you

-In the Slytherin common room

-Then Sherlock realizes both the guests are looking over at him and whispering

-He just folds his hands underneath his chin in the praying position and squints

-Mycroft comes over and sits next to him

-After a second asks Sherlock why he’s constantly staring at you

-’What????? I’m not Mycroft you’re dumb why would you say that’

-’Literally everyone in the House has noticed Sherlock’

-’Take her to the Yule Ball before Moriarty tries to’

-At that Sherlock stiffens

-He fucking hates Moriarty because he was one of the two people he couldn’t figure out

-He should probably hate you too

-He doesn’t

-Anyways

-He refuses to admit to Mycroft that he’s right

-So he ignores the sick feeling in his gut as Moriarty twirls you around the dance floor

-And ignores Irene until she leaves to go fuck multiple guys in a closet

-Honestly he doesn’t even like her he just couldn’t show up to the dance without a date

-Mycroft insisted

-Somehow he starts talking with John Watson who’s with a nobody named Sarah Something who’s got no personality and is in Hufflepuff

-John isn’t actually so bad

-Sherlock likes John

-And so the first time John ‘introduces’ you and Sherlock

-(so you guys are in the same House but you never talk about each other and I think you two would like each other)

-Sherlock just stares at you with wide eyes and when he speaks it’s just ‘asdfghkl;’ because you’ve got a quill pointing right out the back of your head and it’s making his tongue fuzzy

-And you just give him a funny look

-And later he curses himself

-If you didn’t think before (why else would John and Molly have been looking over if you hadn’t told them he constantly stares at you; that or they noticed and there’s no way they didn’t tell you) he liked you you definitely do now

-So passes fifth year

-You’re frequently seen with around five quills in your hair, one for each subject or so

-Sherlock sneers but worries about the bags under your eyes

-Obviously he gets all O’s but then he secretly wonders what you got

-One day you just sit down with him at the lake

-He opens one eye to peer at you disdainfully but doesn’t tell you to leave

-And you’re like ‘You’re Sherlock Holmes, incredibly intelligent, you’ve got a deduction thingy that John calls Asperger’s and being an arsehole. You got all O’s on your exams and so did I. You’re really weird around new people bc you couldn’t even talk to me so you’re probably shy’

-And you just keep rambling

-Sherlock secretly likes it even though you got half the stuff wrong

-and then you’re like ‘although you’ve literally been staring at me the entirety of our school career so I’d appreciate it if you stopped’

-’what if i don’t want to leave you alone’

-’if i want you to leave me alone you’ll damn well leave me alone’

Sherlock’s disappointed

-So, like, that means you don’t like him

-And he totally definitely doesn’t like you but he’s still disappointed

-’What makes you think I want to do anything with you’

-You snort

-’Please, I’ve seen that look before’

-’And I’ve heard the stories about you’

-’You use girls all the time and then you’re cruel to them’

-’I don’t want to set myself up for heartbreak’

-Sherlock just looks over at you dead in the eyes and says ‘well I haven’t been watching them for six years straight’

-You laugh nervously

-’What are you, a stalker’

-Sherlock shrugs and starts to get up

-You scramble to your feet as well

-Sherlock doesn’t notice you getting closer until you’re right in front of him and your hand is on his chest and your lips are on his

-You pull back, flushing

-’I don’t want to set myself up for heartbreak but I guess I’ve got no choice, sorry, I won’t bother you again’

-Sherlock grabs your wrist as you walk away

-Spins you back towards him like you’re dancing

-Cocks an eyebrow at you suggestively

-’What if I want you to bother me again’

-It’s after that Sherlock realizes how much of a Slytherin you really are

-You show up in his Mind Palace and instead of being snarky you’re a snarky bitch and he just loves it

-Like Mind Palace you and Mycroft get into so many arguments

-And even though Sherlock knows its all in his head he can’t help but be proud of you

-I mean

-He bases his Mind Palace off of what he sees

-You dissing Mycroft is perfectly normal

-Like

-You’ll kiss him in the middle of the hallways and right when he’s dropping his bookbag you’re stepping away so he’s flushed and scrambling to pick up his books

-and you just walk away like ‘see you babe’

-and he just stares after you like half pissed half turned on half proud

-Other times you’ll work on homework with him

-But you absolutely refuse to work with him if you’re not sitting on his lap

-And Sherlock just turns bright red

-And you’ll lean over to kiss him

-Wiggling your butt as you do so

-And Mycroft’s just sitting there with his jaw down like ‘damn sherl i wanted you to talk to her not for her to sit on your lap in the common room’

-And you’ll just cuddle with him during lessons

-because ‘goddammit you didn’t make a move for six fucking years imma cuddle when i damn well want to’

-And cuddling isn’t supposed to be this hOT

-Like

-You’ll put your head on his shoulder

-And like burrow into his side

-And occasionally press kisses to his shoulder

-Like damn

-Could you be any sweeter

-And then one day another Slytherin Janine starts spreading rumors about Sherlock and about how he slept with her bc shes jealous

-So you walk up and just punch her in the face

-And say ‘you wish he’d slept with you too bad no one would ever stoop that low’

-She doesn’t mess with you guys from then on

-But you turn around, shaking out your hand

-And Sherlock’s just sitting there and he looks like a tomato

-Like a tomato-colored stature

-Like why does he get turned on by you being violent and manipulative?

-And you just laugh and shake your head

-And take him by the hand

-’Come on I know a place’

-’What y/n where are we going what are we doing what are you talking about’

-Sherlock’s babbling because he does not have feelings

-He most certainly does not have sexual feelings

-And he most certainly certainly does not get hard when you break bitches’ noses

-So on the last day before summer break you two make some noise in the Room of Requirement

-*wink wink*

-Seventh year is fun

-You stress about everything

-And Sherlock’s so annoyed by it

-But he doesn’t bitch about it to you because he loves you

-And one day you’re ranting about how you’re going to fail your N.E.W.Ts and he just casually says ‘I love you’

-And you just blink

-....

-And then you like jump him

-So when Sherlock feels that you’re stressing too much

-he’ll just randomly say ily

-And then

-Fun times

-Although he’s still slightly hurt that you haven’t said it back

-So one day when he’s drinking some stolen firewhisky he mentions it to you

-You burst out laughing

-’I’ve said it so many times’

-’What??? No you haven’t??’

-’Yes I have it’s just you don’t pay attention to me when you’re anxious and that’s when i say it like how you say it when im anxious’

-.....

-....

-That night you two go for like five times

-And then after graduation

-Sherlock invents his own job as ‘Consulting Auror’

-Because that whole Sirius Black thing was just embarrassing

-And he’s great at it

-And you’re like so proud of him

-And yeah he proposes to you at a crime scene one time

-And it’s hilarious because it was almost your crime scene too

-Like a mass murderer kidnapped a bunch of people and took them out one by one

-So like

-You’re covered in blood

-And Sherlock’s still shaking with anxiety

-And you just roll your eyes and shove it on your finger and say ‘why the fuck did you even have to ask you stupid fucking bastard’

-which translates to

-’of course I will I love you’

-and then you start crying

-And Sherlock’s like ‘nO sTOP why are you crying what did i DO did i do something wrong’

-And you live happily ever after the end

#sherlock #sherlock holmes #sherlock x reader #sherlock x you #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock holmes x you #slytherin au #slytherin #hogwarts au #mycroft holmes #mind palace #john watson #molly hooper #moriarty #jim moriarty

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sachertortes · 7 years ago

Text

Lunch Date

Rating: T

Relationship: Darcy x Bucky

Warnings: N/A

Notes: Written for the Darcyland Drabble a Thon, for the prompt “62%”

The first time was an honest mistake.

They were all going to have lunch together off-site. But Jane and Bruce got held up in the labs, and Steve had a last-minute meeting with Hill.

That left Darcy with Bucky Barnes - the man she’d secretly named “Tall, Quiet, and Grouchy”. Only after the (nearly interminable, thanks Tony, did the upstate facility need to be up-upstate?) drive did she discover that he wasn’t grouchy at all. Okay, he was a little grouchy. But mostly, he was funny and sweet. And polite. He held doors open for her. When she got up to use the restroom in the diner, he rose from his seat too.

She was enjoying his company after she finished her lunch special and Bucky had finished three lunch specials, when she realized that she didn’t have her wallet. And Bucky wasn’t carrying cash. A problem at the small cash-only diner.

Which led them to their current predicament.

“Just do it,” Darcy insisted, leaning across the table to give him her best intimidating glare.

“No.”

“Come on.”

“No. You really think it would work?”

“Yes.”

Bucky raised one skeptical eyebrow at her from across their booth.

“Okay, I’m like, 62% sure,” she amended.

“62%, huh? Why don’t you just call Jane to bring you your wallet?”

“Because the facility is like, a 40-minute drive from this podunk town and – “

“Can I get you kids anything else?” interrupted Paula, their waitress.

“Just the check, please,” answered Darcy. Paula nodded and left.

And even though Darcy was fairly certain that Bucky had at least two firearms and one mean-looking knife on his person at all times, she proceeded to pull out her big guns.

“Scared, huh?”

At his look, she knew she had him.

“Fine,” Bucky gritted out. He squared his jaw and took a deep breath. “Darcy Prunella – “

“What the hell, Bucky, my middle name is Elizabeth!” Darcy hissed at him. He only gave her a wink and an evil smirk as he stood from the table and placed his hand dramatically over his heart.

“Darcy Prunella Lewis, for as long as I’ve known you I’ve loved you,” he declared in a loud, smooth voice.

Silverware stopped clinking. The low rumble of conversation halted. Bucky cleared his throat in the silence.

“I know I ain’t got much money…and I ain’t even got a ring yet, but I would be honored if you’d let me try every day of my life to make you the happiest woman on the planet. Darcy Prunella, will you marry me?”

His eyes alighted on their leftover food and he picked up a cold onion ring from the plastic basket. Bucky raised his eyebrows at her expectantly, lips twitching like he was about to burst out laughing any minute. Darcy obligingly held out her left hand and Bucky placed the fried onion on her ring finger where it hung loosely.

“Yes!!” Darcy squealed to the cheers and claps of the other diners. She shot up from her seat to be enveloped in Bucky’s hug. He practically lifted her up onto her toes.

“On the house, you two!” Paula exclaimed with a smile as she approached them. She whisked away their plates and check. “Congratulations!”

“Told ya it would work,” Darcy whispered triumphantly into his ear.

The second time was also an honest mistake. Or so Darcy insisted. All Bucky knew was he definitely had his wallet when they left and now he didn’t, and apparently Darcy didn’t either.

“You ain’t gonna give me a shitty middle name are you?”

“You mean after you saddled me with Prunella? No, I’m nice. It’s the name of one of my favorite characters from classic literature.”

Bucky leveled a warning glare at her that in his spotty memory had once literally made a HYDRA goon wet his pants. Darcy only gave him an innocent, sweet smile in response but he should’ve known. He should’ve known by the crinkle in her nose that she got whenever she was about to do something she thought was hilarious and by the mirth shining bright in her eyes.

“James Bunnicula Barnes – ”

“What the fuck.”

She flashed him a gleeful grin as she continued, “I’ve loved you since I saw your Tinder profile. Marry me?”

He inwardly sighed then answered dutifully, “Sure thing, sweetheart.”

From there, it became a game. Over lunches they gave each other ridiculous names and tried to be convincing enough to warrant a free meal. They always sent an envelope full of cash for the bill and a very hefty tip the next day.

Bucky asked Darcy Hortense Lewis to “be his gal forever and ever” over chicken parmesan subs and mozzarella sticks.

Darcy asked James Benvolio Barnes to marry her over garlic naan and lamb biriyani.

In a little place serving buttermilk biscuits and fried chicken, Bucky begged Darcy Zenobia to make an honest man out of him.

Darcy demanded James Buford Barnes to marry her already to “give their dear baby a father” and Bucky nearly choked on his peach smoothie before agreeing.

But it was over a homecooked lunch of BLTs that Bucky gave her his next proposal. He had been acting strange all afternoon, furtively patting his jeans pocket as if to make sure that whatever he hid there was still in place. Darcy definitely noticed the nervous, secretive gesture.

Finally, after they finished eating, he took out something that crinkled in his palm then gave her a hopeful smile.

“Darcy Elizabeth Lewis – ” he unwrapped the Ring Pop then held it out to her. “…Will you go on a date with me?”

“Wait. For real?”

“For real.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes. “Lemme see that ring.”

He handed it over and after inspecting it like one would a shiny, clear diamond, Darcy placed the ring on her right index finger and brought her hand up to pop the confection into her mouth.

She smiled, her lips cherry red from the candy. “I’ll totally go on a date with you, James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Only had to ask ya to marry me three times before you’d date me.”

“Y’know, those aren’t great odds.”

Bucky shrugged and grinned. “It works all the time, 62% of the time, dollface.”

Hi there! Please consider donating to Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF), here.

Learn more about this organization here.

#darcy lewis #bucky x darcy #wintershock #wintershock fic #darcyland #darcyland drabble a thon #sachertortes fic

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imagine-that-haikyuu · 7 years ago

Note

Kuroo headcannon memes

Camp NaNoWriMo Day Thirteen Request Complete!

i’m so tired that when i got to the mini-playlist question, i typed “kuroo” into my saved songs on spotify as if that would yield any results… it’s almost friday, thank goodness

and i guess very minor spoilers for the manga? it’s really just a small fact about kuroo we learn that really doesn’t have a bearing on anything plot-wise

if you like what i do and want to show your support, consider supporting me on ko-fi! money is tight right now, and i could use the help!

- admin rachel lauren

Kuroo

Headcanon meme time

⌆ a nervous tic or habit they do

Scratches the back of his neck or head sheepishly.

⏀ describe their usual smile

I think it’s obvious that he has a few different, fun grins. We have his Cheshire cat smirk; that feigned, pleasant one we saw him give to Daichi during the first Nekoma/Karasuno match. Although, closed mouth and half-lidded glare is his most standard one.

⇅ do they look up or down while thinking?

I feel like he does neither. He looks forward and totally zones out so it doesn’t come across as staring.

❧ describe their usual sleeping position

I’m laughing because canonically Kuroo sleeps on his stomach, with two pillows pressed to either side of his head. I can’t imagine it’s very comfortable. He’s so weird.

✑ describe something they like without naming it

When school lets out in August, he already has a weekend prepared to head to the coast with friends or family. He doesn’t mind sand at all because it washes off once he’s in the water anyway. Plus, his favorite past time is unnecessarily donning snorkeling gear.

✜ what’s their posture like in a normal situation?

I think he has a slight slouch when he sits. Otherwise, it seems like he’s got at least one hand in his pocket and leaning one way or another, trying to pose like a model.

❖ describe their hands

He’s got good hands. His fingers are on the longer side, but not too much and they have a wide span when stretching. They’re pretty calloused too (he is a middle blocker, after all), but they’re nothing to worry about.

❞ write a quote they would find themselves saying

You mean I can’t use Nekoma’s pregame motivational speech for this? “Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things” started as a one-off joke in the club room when he was a second-year and Kenma hated it so much that Kuroo now feels the need to mention it at least once a week while the team changes after practice.

§ how would their hair gray? or would they lose their hair first?

I’d like to think he goes gray first, but the way he sleeps…he’s going to go bald first probably.

❤ describe how they show affection.

Lots of nuzzling, bad jokes/puns/pick-up lines to make you laugh, and hugs from behind are his go-to options but he also tries to bake you something sweet from time-to-time (it’s usually a box mix though because he’s got a busy schedule and baking from scratch is very time- and energy-consuming).

✭ what is one of their favorite items?

He still has the same volleyball the he and Kenma used when they played as kids. It’s pretty tattered now, but there’s no way he’ll throw it out. It’s far too important to him for many reasons. He keeps it wrapped in a towel in a plastic bin in his closet for now.

Super cool headcanon meme

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod (Most of the songs I considered for this all tie-in closely with headcanons May and I are working on for a ballroom!AU and Kuroo’s best dances are all swing dances and sometimes the tango too so forgive me because I chose a lot of songs that would suit those dances for a Dancing with the Stars-style competition).

“Fools Gold (feat Too Many Zooz)” by Manican Party

“Creepin’ Up the Backstairs” by The Fratellis (this is more for Bad Boy!AU Kuroo but I can’t not think of him when I hear the song)

“Doncamatic (feat. Daley)” by Gorillaz

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep – where they’re not supposed to

On the train home from school. Poor Kenma has been drooled on before.

the game they’d destroy everyone else at

His actual basketball are just average, but he can whoop some ass playing HORSE. Players on Nekoma’s basketball team have lost to him on occasion during P.E.

the emoticon they’d use most often

You know he abuses the sunglasses emoji (😎) but the nerd emoji (🤓) comes into play a lot if you ask him for homework help or study tips

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

Super low tolerance for bullshit, more so than usual. Like that time Tora was shouting at night and he had to yell at him to shut up? Like that but constantly throughout the day until he can finally get some rest.

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

Coffee is very much needed in the morning for him, but unless he really needs a pick-me-up in the afternoon, he sticks to two cups in morning, max. He can drink it black, or with sugar or milk/cream as long as it’s not too sweet.

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

He’ll text someone he knows he can have a good conversation with, even if he as nothing to say. He just wants to hear from someone who genuinely is pleasant to interact with or can make him laugh.

what they wanted to be when they grew up

He’s another one who always wanted to be a volleyball player, but he played doctor a lot when he was very young and it’s his back-up plan even to this day. (How ambitious of him!)

their favorite kind of weather

Kuroo’s the kind of person who believes their birthday season in the best season, so overcast, blustery autumn afternoons are his favorite. They’re perfect for snuggling up with a loved one too.

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

His seiyuu may be able to sing, but it’s ten times more hilarious to think that Kuroo is an awful singer. Like, there are some songs he can sing fairly well, but his range is so limited and naturally all the songs he wants to jam out to are way too high for him.

how/what they like to draw or doodle

He draws poorly proportioned animals with shaky lines. Mostly just in your notes though, and never his own. They’re actually pretty funny since he has them say a witty one-liner too.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! scenarios #kuroo tetsurou #headcanons #haikyuu!! spoilers #request #admin rachel lauren #camp nanowrimo requets #anonymous

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mfmagazine · 6 years ago

Photo

Melora Hardin (The Office, A Million Little Things)

Article by Lauren Weigle

Photo by Kirstin Knufmann

Melora Hardin. Ballerina. Director. Comedian. Actress. Character. Singer. Song-writer. Jazz Artist. Anything else we’d like to add to the list? Oh yes, we forgot to add what a demure, poised, and courageous woman she is… pleasantly unexpected. Considering her range of comedic roles on the big and small screen, one would think she would just be a giant goofball, but she has so many other qualities about her. Melora Hardin is definitely a deep soul, built up of many layers.

You’ve acted in such an array of comedies in addition to dramatic roles. What do you feel draws you to these comedic parts?

Well, ya know, everyone loves to laugh and so do I. I just kind of enjoy getting inside those characters, finding the humor, and finding their truth because I think it has to always come from truth.

Right. That’s good to keep in mind. Well, what should one keep in mind as a good rule of thumb whenever they take on a new role with a new cast, new set, etc?

I just really believe everyone is valuable. Everyone has a reason for being there and I think if you show respect, the way you like to be treated, and just show that you value everyone. That’s probably the first and foremost thing when joining a new movie.

So, tell me about when you joined Monk and your experience with the show?

Well, I played Trudy, his dead wife for many years and they were all just great. Randy, one of the producers/writers/directors on that show and I had done a pilot with him many years before, so that was really fun to be working with him again. And, Tony Shalhoub is one of the nicest guys. He’s just so warm and wonderfully talented; a great actor and a great person. It was really just a comfortable set to be on and had really really nice, talented people.

How did you eventually become Jan Levinson of the critically-acclaimed show The Office?

Um, I auditioned for the part? (She jests) I was a recurring character for the first season and then they made me a regular during the middle of the second season.

What’s the atmosphere on set like, being around such a hilarious group of people?

People are very funny obviously and there’s a lot of improvisation. I mean, I particularly love Greg Daniels who’s the creator of the American version of the office. He just loves hiring people who are really talented and sort of pointing them in a direction. He has a definite vision for the show, but he’s not one to sort of stick his finger in everyone’s stew. He’s very good at focusing the set, the actors, the crew, but also ultimately unleashing everybody. And, I think that is one of the keys to great comedy, feeling safe to be completely ridiculous, to feel sort of free and fall on your face, be more courageous. I think it’s very unusual for a lot of television comedies, but now I feel it’s almost set the tone for other television comedies.

How does it feel being part of such a highly-esteemed series?

Oh, it’s great! It’s fantastic. I mean, I’ve been working in this business since I was 6 years old, done many many pilots, failed series’, and series’ that have lasted a long time, but when you get on something that everyone loves, is critically-acclaimed, opportunities come your way because of it, it’s a wonderful thing. Absolutely wonderful. I’m very thrilled to be a part of it from the beginning until just recently, but now I’m back again! (She devilishly laughs.) So, it’s great.

So what’s it like to be back?

Fun! It’s really fun. Still the same, but different in the sense that Greg Daniels isn’t around as much. Paul is really running the show right now, but Paul and Greg are related, so he has a similar relaxed nature. I mean, I love Jan. She’s such a great character. She’s fun to play and I know her so well it’s kind of fun to “put her skin on” again. The crazy dynamic between Michael and Jan is so much fun to play. So, yea, it’s great to be her again.

Well, I know you also recently joined the new TV drama Outlaw. How did this come about?

Yea. Apparently, they wanted the pilot to be different, so they re-cast it and they cast me in that role. So, I’ve done a few episodes plus the pilot. The creator just sort of said I was on his line from the beginning. Even when they did the original pilot, I was the one that he wanted, so he was really thrilled to get me and I was thrilled to be wanted so much. It’s a great show, wonderful writing, very different, a really interesting dynamic between my role and Jimmy Smith’s character, so lots of fun there to play.

Right, so what is your character like then?

I’m the Senior VP of a law firm in Washington D.C., and an on-going lover of Garza, who’s played by Jimmy Smith. He decides to quit being a Supreme Court judge and sort of fight for the little guy. Then he comes to my firm and tries to cut a deal to fund his little endeavor, but you get the feel that they have a lot of history together. He kind of has a difficult time committing to women, but loves women at the same time. If there was someone he was going to marry, it would probably be her, so there’s a wonderful mutual respect and enjoyment of each other, not to mention sexual attraction, so it’ll be interesting to see how that plays out. At the same time, they’re really peers and they go “toe to toe”.

Aside from all your television goings-on, anything in the works in terms of film?

Yea, actually there’s a family comedy called Knucklehead, starring myself, Mark Feuerstein, and one of the big WWE wrestlers called “The Big Show”. It’s really cute, a good little family comedy, and that comes out October 24th on limited release and straight to DVD. I also just did a little indie feature called Ben Banks and I have another one that I’m currently doing called I’ll Melt With You with Rob Lowe and Jeremy Piven. I’m not really sure when it’s coming out yet, but it’s a very dark, indie feature. I guess those are my creative projects. I’m working on a web-series right now that I’ve created for myself, which I hope will be up and running some time before the year is over. And, I also have a record that just came out called All the Way to Mars.

Yea, so tell me about your music. I saw one of your music videos, Fading Away, and you have so much ballet involved in it. How long have you been dancing?

Well, I’ve been dancing since I was 5. I was really a serious ballerina for many years. Now I’m a jazz dancer or a modern jazz dancer. What you saw there with Fading Away was more of a modern jazz style. I still take classes and try to go twice a week for my soul and for my body. (She laughs.) It’s still one of my loves, one of my passions. So, I keep it up for myself and my music is sort of something that’s always been in my life. A lot of people don’t know that about me, but I’ve been writing songs since I was very young. I have lots of songs I’ve written and I have three records, two independently and this one is the first one to be released under a label. It’s very exciting and it was really exciting to be on Broadway last year where I got to sing, dance, AND act… doing all three of my bests at once!

Haven’t you done some directing with the stage also?

Yea, I did direct a one-woman show and I also directed a film, which is a film I made with my family called You, where my husband wrote it, I directed it, and we both starred in it. Our kids are even in it.

Would you like to do more with directing in the future?

I really loved it and I’m definitely planning on directing more.

Back to your music. What would be the next step for you in that arena?

Well, I’m singing live a lot. I have some gigs in Florida next year, a few gigs here in Los Angeles, and I’m looking to sing with possibly some symphonies that are around. I just want to get out there and sing live a lot more. And, I’ll probably be looking to make a new record in 2011.

0 notes

wulfies-corner · 8 years ago

Text

Monster (Monster!BIGBANG AU)

(Based loosely on BIGBANG'S Monster MV)

There was no denying that you were in love with someone other than a human. How that came to be, you couldn't exactly remember, but it was the only truth you knew. To everyone else, Choi Seunghyun was a monster, but to you, he was so much more than a species or a label.

The term was actually ‘Darksider’, but people would rather refer to them as beasts and monsters. Darksiders are humanoid creatures that have the ability to control what little magic this world has. They are strong and determined, but often violent and reckless. Darksiders were born to look nearly the same as humans, but with brightly coloured eyes and canine fangs similar to that of a mythological vampire. Their skin would be pale and smooth, never showing a single blemish, but often bore sprawling tattoos that would appear when they were using magic. In pitch darkness, their eternal sight would be visible; multitudes of bodiless eyes would surround them in a cloud of hazy bright light. Darksiders also had a much longer lifespan than humans, able to extend their life for up to 800 years.

While Darksiders have been around for nearly as long as the human race has, hardly anyone understood them. They were feared and hated, so much to the point that all of them went into hiding almost 300 years ago. Some tried to blend in as humans, and some found solitude hiding in the wilderness, but their numbers recently began to dwindle when the humans prioritised hunting them down. Whenever a Darksider was captured, it was broadcast as breaking news, reported over the PA systems of every school, workplace, and home.

Darksiders that were caught by humans were sent to gigantic prisons. The facilities were a cloaked lie: they were supposed to incarcerate Darksiders for ‘the protection of humanity’, for the greater good. But, those prisons were really built to experiment on captive Darksiders: to try and discover new ways to kill and fight wars, test medication and chemicals instead of using animal or human trials, and discover the way to slow the ageing process. The prisons were large, closed off facilities that were covered with concrete walls, thick chain link fences laced with a magic blocking material, and endless spools of barbed wire.

Choi Seunghyun had survived as a human for the majority of his life. He blended in well, wearing brown eye contacts and creating illusions around his face to hide his sharp teeth. It wasn't until he met you that he ever let go and allowed himself to be who he was, instead of becoming something completely false. You were the only human who would ever accept a Darksider into their arms without fearing pain or death. You were the only human to ever want to kiss the lips of someone who could very well tear yours out by accident. You were the only human to love a Darksider, to love a monster so deeply that it wouldn’t matter if your life hung in the balance.

To you, Seunghyun wasn't a monster. He was just Seunghyun. For that reason among hundreds of others, he loved you. It was you, a human - someone on the other side - that made him feel free and fearless. Seunghyun became brave around you. He was less closed off, less angry, less prone to lashing out at every little thing that annoyed him. He would long to hug you, to kiss you, something he had previously promised himself that he would never do. His Darksider nature was gone when you were with him, and Seunghyun was finally happy, after 200 years of fearing getting caught. Love and emotion were no longer weaknesses to him, and they were transformed into a strength.

But, Seunghyun’s happiness was soon the object of his downfall.

Seunghyun sat in his cell with his head down, staring at the concrete floor. He couldn't remember what day it was anymore, but the thought of you kept him going. He went through round after round of vigorous torture, injections and test battles, surviving with the last faint image of you in his mind’s eye. He would spend his days strapped to a table or in an arena with a beeping collar around his neck, hearing the cackles of the humans when he tried to get away from canon shots and gunfire. Then, he would spend his nights in a small, cramped cell with four other Darksiders. The last ones left alive in the sprawling prison, at least to his knowledge.

The four were Jiyong, Seungri, Daesung, and Taeyang. At first, Seunghyun was reluctant to even look their way, but he eventually became friends with them. After all, Darksiders really only had each other in a world such as this.

“Someday I'll get out of here,” Seunghyun muttered for the umpteenth time that hour. Jiyong sighed in exasperation, turning over in his bed. Jiyong’s hair was a bloody red, and it cast a reddish sheen onto his fair skin by what little light hit the room from the barred window that was too high for any of them to reach.

“That's the fifteenth time you've said that since Taeyang got back. You know that there’s no way out of here.” Jiyong commented to the disappointed nods of the others.

“You've only been here for four years. You'll eventually give it all up,” Daesung said, moving to sit next to Seunghyun. He patted the taller Darksider on the back gently. “You'll get used to it.”

Daesung had white blonde hair that was tousled and messy. His horn-like nose piercings glistened in the light, reflecting small white dots on the walls. His skin was beautifully pale, and he was kept shirtless most of the time, due to the female humans at the prison. Seunghyun was not envious of what Daesung went through on a daily basis. While most of the Darksiders were kept abstinent, Daesung had no choice but to give that up every night.

Seunghyun growled angrily. “I never will.” Despite the reassurance that his friends pelted him with nearly every day, he knew that he would never see this place as anything but a barrier to keep him away from you. “At least (Y/N) doesn't think I'm a monster.”

“Why do you care so much about her?” Seungri asked. “She’s probably the reason you were caught.” Seungri was often the one humans tested on the most. He had black hair that was extremely short and thin, smoothed like a blanket over the top of his head.

“No,” Seunghyun shouted menacingly. “None of this is her fault!”

“Of course it is. All humans hate us, even if they try to be inclusive, they can't shake their fear out of their heads. Why do you think the five of us are locked in here every night? This is barely the size of my smallest bathroom at home,” Jiyong accused.

“You’re just sour because you were rich and famous until someone outed you,” Daesung commented, earning a lazy punch from Jiyong. “I’m only stating the truth, G-Dragon. Boy, what an obvious name. I think it’s hilarious that it took them so long to notice you. You know, with the red horns and all.” He positioned his index fingers on the sides of his head in a mocking manner towards Jiyong.

“Ex-fucking-scuse you,” Jiyong fired back. He sat up and faced Seunghyun. “They were an accessory! It wasn’t until a fan grabbed them that I was noticed. Seunghyun, what we’re trying to say is, it’s always going to be the human’s fault, no matter how much they love you.”

It took most of Seunghyun’s willpower not to strangle Jiyong right then and there, for more reasons than the accusation. “(Y/N) would never do such a thing, even by accident. She moved away from her family and to the middle of nowhere to protect me. She knew about my secret before I was caught, not as I was getting caught.”

“Yet here you are,” Taeyang added. Taeyang was the beefiest out of everyone, mostly due to him participating in a lot of fistfights and brawls for the amusement of the humans that worked at the prison. Most of his head was shaved and the rest of his black hair grew upwards like grass.

Seunghyn sighed, sticking out his tongue at his four roommates with a mocking ‘nyeh’. He lay down on his near rock hard mattress, turning to look at the wall instead. “I’m going to get out of here, (Y/N), just wait for me.”

~ Eight Years Earlier ~

Seunghyun closed his biology textbook in annoyance, reaching into his backpack to instead grab a book. Nobody ever wanted to sit beside him, even though he was considered the most attractive guy in the entire school. He assumed the reason was because he always looked so angry and intimidating. He wasn't bothered by that, but what did make him angry was that his classmates were fiddling with chemical solutions left by the chemistry teacher from the period before. Of all the years he had attended high schools, this generation was by far one of the worst. This was a grade 12 classroom, not a kindergarten playground.

“I wonder what this does!” Robert exclaimed as he reached for a damp strip of paper sitting on top of a shelf in the lab area. It held two drying powders that could have exploded if even a small wind current caught it. Luckily for the reckless boy, the solutions weren't going to be ‘armed’ until everything was completely dry. If any of the solutions exploded, they would make a large CRACK sound and spray red powder everywhere, dying the culprit red for at least a few days, on top of the added risk that the culprit’s finger could be blown off.

Seunghyun watched Robert poke at the paper, rolling his eyes. He wouldn’t say anything, and in fact, it would be something quite funny to see, as Robert deserved karma for how insulting and annoying he was. Seunghyun turned back to the front of the classroom and opened his book, but out of the corner of his eye, he noticed someone new walking into the classroom with Mr Eastwood, who held out a piece of paper toward him. Seunghyun’s enhanced sight showed that the piece of paper was a timetable. The teacher signed it, spoke a few words to the new student and pointed straight at Seunghyun.

The person turned around to reveal a girl, dressed in an extremely oversized black hoodie with the words G-DRAGON sprawled over the front. She adjusted her glasses and looked over at Seunghyun, nervously nodding and making her way toward him. She stopped at the empty desk next to him and pointed down at the chair nervously. Now that she was closer, he could see her face clearly. She was beautiful to him, even though she wouldn't fit the standard of society’s ‘beauty’.

“Um… is anyone sitting here?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She squirmed in her spot, tugging at the hem of her sweater. “Mr Eastwood said I could sit here, but I didn't know if you liked being alone or not...”

“No, it’s alright. Go ahead, sit down.” Seunghyun observed her. She looked timid and shy as she curled up in her chair, hugging her backpack. She avoided eye contact with him, but still smiled his way.

“What’s your name?” She asked after a while, once the lesson was completed and the corresponding worksheets handed out.

“Seunghyun,” he answered simply. It was obvious she already knew his name, everyone did, but she was kind enough to ask anyway. “What’s yours?”

“(Y/N).”

“Look at him run!” Seunghyun heard the humans chortle and laugh as he ran. For the past three hours, he and Daesung were fighting to keep their lives against drunk humans spraying gunfire across the arena.

‘If only I could use my magic,’ Seunghyun growled through his thoughts. ‘Then they wouldn't be so high and mighty.’

“COWARDS!” Daesung yelled as he barely dodged a grenade. It exploded behind them, the force making them lose their footing. “Come down here and fight us like men!” Seunghyun looked over at his friend, barely slowing down to shoot him an angry look.

“I'm sorryyy,” one of the men shouted from the top of the wall. “We can't let you die, the girls like you too much! If we killed you, they’d never forgive us!”

“Keeping the eye candy alive is the only way they'll actually sleep with us!” Another added.

Seunghyun had more than enough of all this fleeing. He took aim at the wall where the humans were standing, aggression boiling his blood. He began sprinting at full speed, jumping up and attaching himself to the wall. He then began to climb upwards, using what little power he could manifest to be able to hoist himself up the concrete wall.

“Wait, Seunghyun!” He heard Daesung call his name, but he ignored it.

One Seunghyun reached the top, he punched open the glass of the protected perch and attacked the humans with what strength he could muster. His sheer force of anger alone was enough to overpower the force inside the guard tower, but he wasn't fast enough to stop them from sounding the alarm.

“You think you can keep us trapped here forever?!” He growled as he easily snapped a guard’s neck.

Seunghyun and (Y/N) had become extremely close after being seated next to each other in biology. Seunghyun had never had any friends until her, and she was too afraid to approach anyone else. (Y/N) became his rock, helping him calm down and realise there was more to life than just anger. He became her voice, defending her against bullies and jealous girls. He also began to speak for her, as she was often mute due to her anxiety.

It was more often than not the two of them spent every day together, and even stuck together after school. Seunghyun had no family, so it wasn’t hard to just pack up a stack of his clothes and leave it in (Y/N)’s dresser for whenever he would stay over at her place. It became such a second nature to the two that it was completely impossible to separate them. At first, (Y/N)’s parents protested his constant sleepovers but soon realised that Seunghyun was the only true friend their youngest daughter had and decided to stop interfering.

On a dreary Friday, Seunghyun and (Y/N) walked into class and sat down together, listening closely to the breaking news that came over the PA, a standard issue for whenever a Darksider was captured.

“Another Darksider has been apprehended in the name of humanity. One you may know as G-Dragon, Korea’s biggest star, Kwon Jiyong. This monster is no longer a threat to the world and our way of life has become just a little bit safer.” An automated voice announced through the PA, much to the despair of the classmates around them. They all began chattering, disregarding the fact that they were in a school setting. This always happened whenever a Darksider was found.

Both (Y/N) and Seunghyun turned to look at each other. It has been months since a Darksider had been captured, and it was such a shock to hear that a huge celebrity such as G-Dragon had been one of them. (Y/N) clutched her sweater, the popular rapper’s logo over top of it. She almost never took it off, even on days where Seunghyun was sweating in shorts and a tank top. At times when Seunghyun slept over at her home, she wouldn’t even take it off to sleep.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked, watching as she teared up. Seunghyun gently grasped at (Y/N)’s shoulder and brought her to lean against him. She accepted the contact, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve.

“It’s not fair,” she whispered, snivelling. Seunghyun knew how much G-Dragon meant to her, and she must have been devastated that he was arrested, but he thought that her opinion of him would go south in a few moment’s time, just like all the other students around him were reacting.

“Don't… Don't you think it was the right thing to do?” He asked, finally finding an excuse to ask her opinion on his species. He had never thought to ask her about Darksiders in all the months in which they had grown so close. At times, around her, he even forgot he was one.

“No.” She stated matter-of-factly, staring up at Seunghyun with disappointment. Her voice lowered to a whisper that only Seunghyun could hear over the classroom chatter. “Darksiders are people too. They're just different. I can't bear to hear that they go through so much pain because of us. Nobody should be imprisoned because of who they are.”

Seunghyun’s eyes widened. His heart rate picked up, and a multitude of thoughts ran through his head. ‘Should I tell her?’

“Hey, Sunny?” (Y/N) questioned. He smiled briefly at his nickname, after the main character of their favourite TV show, Into the Badlands. “Are you okay? You’re oddly focused on my nose.” Seunghyun blinked briefly and looked away, an awkward grin forming on his lips.

“Oh, sorry. Um… can you pretend to have a headache? I need to tell you something.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, but muttered an ‘ok’. She held her temples and pressed her forehead against the desk, and Seunghyun raised his hand.

“Mr Eastwood, can I take (Y/N) to the nurse? She’s got a really bad headache from all the commotion.”

“Go ahead,” Mr Eastwood sighed, looking up from the papers on his desk briefly. “Don’t be too long.”

Seunghyun stood up, guiding (Y/N) out of the room with him. Once they on the opposite end of the hallway, they went down the stairwell and stopped outside the school’s small forest edge, called Narnia by the students due to a number of marijuana smokers coming out to the forest to get high at lunch. (A/N: Yes, this is a real thing at my school. The forest is called Narnia by everyone, even the teachers.) They hid along the treeline so that they couldn’t be spotted by the cameras that lined the outer brick walls of the school.

“What did you need to tell me that you couldn’t say in class?” She questioned, holding Seunghyun’s hand tightly. She seemed concerned, which was slightly comforting to him.

He took a moment to gather his words. “I… I’m glad you have sympathy for the Darksiders,” Seunghyun started. “I don’t want you to be like everyone else.”

“Sunny, I’ve been your best friend for almost a year now. What would make you think I was normal? You’re the only one I can talk to other than my parents and my sister without fainting.”

“I know, I know… it’s just… that… I was afraid of telling you my secret.” Seunghyun looked down at his best friend, trying to hide the nervousness in his eyes.

“What secret? I thought we promised each other we wouldn’t have any.”

“I know, that’s why I need to tell you.” He stopped and studied the beauty of her face. He admired the blemishes that collected on her forehead because her skin was oily, the strands of hair that were caught in the corners of her glasses, and how here (e/c) eyes were slightly larger than normal due to the prescription of her lenses. He wanted to memorise every bit of her in case that who he was still scared her away, even if she felt like Darksiders were wrongfully imprisoned.

“Come on, out with it, Seunghyun.”

“I’m…. I’m a Darksider.”

Immediately, (Y/N)’s hands flew upward to push Seunghyun’s upper lip to reveal his gums. He backed up at the contact. “I’ve got spells on my face, just give me a cotton-pickin’ minute.”

“Sorry.”

Seunghyun waved a hand over his face, the silver sheen of his spell making (Y/N) squint briefly. The brown of his contact lenses was gone, revealing one blue eye, and one yellow eye. His skin tinted to a much paler complexion, and the side of his face bore a magical tattoo that looked like metal plating, but it faded within a few seconds.

Seunghyun braced for her rejection. To see her running into the distance, leaving his world forever. He could barely think about it, but he needed to be ready.

“Your eyes are beautiful.”

Seunghyun froze in shock.

“You’re still my best friend. Nothing will ever change that. Now put the illusions back on your face and let’s go back inside. I don’t want you to get in trouble for staying out of class for so long.”

“You… you’re not scared?”

“Of course I’m not. You’ve always had anger issues but you’ve never hurt me or anyone else. You’re still my ray of sunshine, no matter if you’re human or not.”

Daesung had disappeared back inside the prison as Seunghyun continued fighting. If most of the employees were drunk, it was the best chance they all had to escape. Soon enough Seunghyun had ripped open a hole in the magic barrier, feeling the surge of power return to his veins through the small rip.

The flow of magic rushed past Seunghyun like a heavy gust of wind, and he nearly lost his balance. He gathered up what magical force he could, and sent out a pulse of electric energy, breaking all the glass in the entire facility. The shards gathered up in a purplish tornado, then dispersed into fine sand. All of the lights went out and all the hallways inside the prison went dark, only illuminated by the dark and cloudy sky outside.

Seunghyun snapped his head to look in the direction of an explosion where his cell was supposed to be located. It seemed to him like Daesung told everyone about the chance to break out. After four years of going through so much pain, heartbreak, humiliation and loneliness, he was finally going to get out.

Seunghyun jumped down from the wall, landing back down on the dirt of the arena. He looked toward the heavy door on the opposite side of the arena, knowing it was his best chance to get out of the arena alive. He made a run for it, dodging bullets and cannon fire from the new troops that arrived to try and capture him. He managed to reach the door as the arena caught fire, pushing it open and slamming it behind him.

The hallways were relatively unfamiliar. Electricity crackled through the exposed wire that flew about along the magical winds. The whole prison was falling apart, and Seunghyun had to constantly dodge collapsing roof panels or debris. He followed the scent of magic back to his tiny cell block but noticed that all of his friends were gone. The lights flickered a few times, and the red light shining against the wall reminded Seunghyun that he was still wearing his collar.

Seunghyun violently ripped the collar from his neck, throwing it down to the floor and stomping on it, watching the red light fade away. Another explosion signalled that he should leave and find his friends, but first, he needed to grab something important. A picture.

It was a tiny Polaroid photo, the colour slightly faded and one of the corners was bent down. It was of you and Seunghyun, cuddling together on your bed, one arm from each of you reaching up to take the selca. Your hair was tousled and messy, your glasses absent from your face. Seunghyun was pale, his fangs were fully visible in his wide grin, and his eyes were their natural blue and yellow.

It was the morning after Seunghyun confessed to you.

“(Y/N), I… I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while…” Seunghyun whispered into the darkness of (Y/N)’s room. She was lying down next to him, both of them in her bed. It was a rare occurrence that they would share her bed, but half an hour before (Y/N) had begged him to join her because of a nightmare.

Seunghyun’s arm was draped over her, holding her close. “What is it?” She asked, clutching the fuzzy pink teddy bear Seunghyun had bought her for White Day. She named him Dr Snuggles.

The soft glow of blue and yellow from Seunghyun's Eternal Sight illuminated (Y/N)’s face, and he could stare at her forever. She looked so different without her glasses, but he didn't mind. She was still stunningly beautiful.

Seunghyun had to work up the courage to confess. His heart rate increased and his tightened his grip slightly on the back of her nightshirt. He took in a deep breath and decided to just say it:

“I love you, (Y/N).”

Barely any time passed at all before she spoke. “I love you too.” She moved the plushie out of the way in order to cling to Seunghyun’s body. She hugged him close, pressing her forehead into the crook of his neck. “You're the only person I'm not scared of. I thought you only saw me as a friend.”

“I never have. Since the first time I saw you, I...” The close proximity and the warmth of (Y/N) soft comforter made Seunghyun’s heart rate reach a new record. His other hand moved up to brush a few strands of hair away from her forehead when she leant backwards to look up at him. (Y/N)’s warm smile caused butterflies to flutter about in his stomach. She looked drowsy, but it didn't matter to either of them.

There was no denying anymore that Seunghyun was falling more and more in love with his best friend as every second passed. His finger trailed down the middle of her face, tapping her nose gently. She giggled at him, wiggling her nose like a bunny, something she did when she had an itch she couldn't scratch.

“Is that all you're going to do?” She asked, causing Seunghyun to raise his eyebrows at her. “Kiss me, you idiot.” Her stare was soft and tired but still demanding.

Seunghyun appeased her. He lifted his head from the pillow, keeping his hand on the side of her face. He leant forward tentatively, afraid that his fangs would hurt her. Once their lips met, Seunghyun closed his eyes, and all of his concern melted away in an instant. Her lips were pillowy and soft, due to her rigorous lip balm routine. He pressed against her gently, stopping and starting the kiss over again. She gripped the back of his nightshirt tightly, and they only gained more fervour as time passed.

They both wanted that night to last forever, but the fairytale would still eventually end.

Seunghyun burst through another heavy metal door, stumbling into another new room. All of his friends turned to look at him.

“Finally, jeez,” Jiyong commented. “Took you long enough.”

“I had to get something,” Seunghyun defended.

“Let’s just go before they send the military!” Seungri shouted. “We have enough magic to escape, but all of us have been bone dry for so long. We’ll be killable for the next 12 hours, and I would rather not die, thanks!”

“Let’s get a move on!” Daesung agreed. They all leapt into action, using magic to boost their speed as they ran through the collapsing prison. They ran from guards and fought who they could, Jiyong crystallising their bodies and leaving the others to smash them into shards of diamond on the floor. Their escape was quick but hard fought. By the time they reached the metal door to the outside, piles of shattered glass and diamond were strewn behind them.

The terrain of the outside was covered in snow, the magical current much stronger than the inside of the prison. Seunghyun shivered as his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the snow and he could hear the flow of magic pumping through his blood. On the very edge of the horizon was a city, judging by the size of the towers rising from the ground.

“Let’s get going,” Jiyong called, walking forward, but Taeyang grabbed his wrist.

“I wouldn't go that way. Seunghyun, don't you have a place we could go?” Taeyang turned to Seunghyun while Jiyong shot him an irritated look.

“I do, but it's a long way from here. Half a world away, actually.” Seunghyun and the others moved along the walls, hiding in a crook of a wall and shielding themselves from the view of the city.

“What?” Seungri asked.

“I told you. (Y/N) and I moved to the literal middle of nowhere. We moved to the Blue Mountains in Canada. We lived in a small cottage not far off from the ski resorts.”

“Canada?” Jiyong exclaimed. “That's so far!”

“Do you want to be safe or not?” Daesung countered. “You weren't caught at your home, were you?”

“No, we were discovered at a festival in the town at the base of the mountain. (Y/N) got hurt and I had to heal her, I was panicked, and I became… reckless. My illusions released and everyone thought I was trying to kill her. They had to pry us apart. It took 10 people to separate us, and even more to keep me away from her. The last time I saw her, she was screaming for me. I…” Seunghyun nearly choked on his words.

“Hey, it's okay. We’re going back now. You'll see her soon.” Seungri patted Seunghyun's back. “Lead the way.”

“(Y/N), please. I can’t afford to keep buying plane tickets,” Your big sister, Rhiannon, approached you with a mug of tea. You only looked up at her, taking the mug of tea and retreating back into yourself again. “He’s been gone for almost five years. Isn't it time you gave up?”

“No,” you growl. “He’ll come back. He would never abandon me.”

“You can't trust the word of a Darksider, (Y/N), no matter how much they claim to love you,” Rhiannon sat down next to you. “I know how you feel, but there’s a point in which you have to take care of yourself.”

“No, you don't know how I feel. The only person who I’ve ever truly loved is gone. He’s being tortured somewhere, dying slowly. All because of me…”

“It's not your fault, (Y/N). Even Seunghyun knew that.” Rhiannon took your tea, setting it on the coffee table before taking your hands in hers. “Just come back home. Mom and dad miss you.”

“I want to be by myself, Rhiannon. It's all I'm good at. I live here for free, and all I have to do is make scarves for the tourists here. I make enough money from it to feed myself and Sunny when he comes back.”

“Seunghyun isn't coming back, (Y/N). You need at least someone to talk to.”

You ripped your hands from Rhiannon’s grip. “He will come back. You just don't like him anymore because he’s a Darksider. He is no different from the Seunghyun you knew in high school. He just looks a bit different. You have no right to judge him! If anything, humans are the real monsters!” You stand, stomping through your house and into your room, slamming the door behind you. You heard Rhiannon’s sigh from the other side of the door. She knew better than to argue with you, as you’d only stay quiet and push your dressers against the door so she couldn’t get in. You made a nest out of your comforter and hid in the corner of your bed, clutching Dr Snuggles tightly. Your bedroom window was close to the front door, so you just watched the snow fall through the window, looking down at the ski resort.

Everything seemed so peaceful at the top of a mountain. Here, everyone was only thinking about skiing, their winter trips and how much fun it was to race down the hill at incredible speeds. Some of them were only panicking because they forgot to pack a scarf, which you would often gladly help them with at the little knitted clothing store you owned. You closed the store for the week, though, as the days were slowly inching toward the 5th anniversary of Seunghyun being taken. For all the peacefulness you saw at the peak of Blue Mountain, you knew that somewhere across the world, the person you loved was going through so much pain, and it was your fault.

Tears welled up in your eyes. If only you hadn’t tripped over a risen brick and broken your arm at the festival. Then none of this would have happened. You hugged your knees, hiding your face as you sobbed. You didn’t notice that four figures had run past your window up to the front door and that all your crying had been for nought.

Rhiannon let out an exasperated sigh as she heard a knock ring through the front door. She placed her mug on the coffee table and stood up, walking to the door to open it. ‘I don’t get how people keep finding this place,’ she thought to herself. Rhiannon’s eyes widened with shock when she opened the door to reveal someone she’d never thought she would see again.

“Uh, (Y/N)... you’d better come out here…” She called. Seunghyun raised his eyebrows at her.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, borderline aggressively.

“Excuse you, big guy. I’m still (Y/N)’s sister.” Rhiannon answered, sarcasm in her voice. She looked over all the Darksiders and sighed. “And I thought that I could avoid this mess,” Rhiannon mumbled, sighing.

“I’m not coming out. Just tell him to go away.” Everyone heard your muffled voice through the door to your room.

“It’s not Jackson this time,” Rhiannon called back.

“Jackson?” Seunghyun growled, moving to grip the doorframe, nearly breaking it.

“Calm down, Seunghyun,” Taeyang whispered through clenched teeth. All of the men behind Seunghyun were shivering through the snow and had no intention of being turned away. They were all exhausted from making it all the way to Canada from a remote prison in South Korea, and going back to where they came was far from an option.

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist. (Y/N)’s rejected him more times than I can count. She keeps saying she’s waiting for you. Besides, you know how she is around other people. Every time he talks to her she nearly faints.”

“Then who is it?” You ask.

“Come find out for yourself. I’m not gonna spoon feed you the answers. This is your house, after all.” Rhiannon placed a hand on her hip. “Come in. You all must be freezing.”

The five boys kicked the snow off their boots and shook the wetness out of their hair like dogs. “I don’t get how you can live in this kind of weather,” Seungri complained.

“Well, you’ll just have to get used to it, won’t you?” Seunghyun shot back. “Unless you want to go back.”

“Hell no,” Taeyang spoke for Seungri. “There’s no way.”

“This house is so small,” Jiyong whined.

That was when you emerged from your room. Your eyes were puffy from crying, and your glasses sat irregularly on your nose. You had been looking down at the floor as you walked down the hall, only looking up when Rhiannon coughed. You were taken so far back by what you saw that you fell.

“S-...Sunny?” Your voice was shaky and tears once again began spilling from your eyes. You winced at the pain from falling, and Seunghyun immediately approached you, kneeling down to see if you were okay.

“Yes, it’s me.” You immediately moved to touch his face, to see if he was real. He let you touch him, watching the shock leave your eyes, a smile spreading across your face. You sprung forward to meet his lips in a kiss that was long overdue. Seunghyun’s arms snaked around you and picked you up, holding you in his arms.

“I’ve missed you so much, Sunny… I … I was so afraid of what they’ve done to you. I was afraid they killed you, but I wouldn’t believe it!” You kissed him again before he could answer you.

“Yeah, this is nice and all, yippee, but we really need to talk about the fact that most of us are going to have to double up. Again.” Jiyong called through the heartfelt moment, making you realise that there were four strangers in your house, one of them being....

G-Dragon.

“Sunny…” you break the kiss and ask quietly, looking over Seunghyun’s shoulder at the four men and your sister, who was eyeing up Daesung. Daesung looked back at Rhiannon, flashing her an awkward smile. “Why… why is G-Dragon here?” Jiyong only waved at you. Seunghyun had told him that you were a big fan of his.

“It’s a long story,” Seunghyun answered, carrying you back into your bedroom. “But for right now, I need you. You’ve gotten so much more beautiful, and I can’t spend another second without you. They can figure everything out for themselves.”

Seunghyun moved into your room, shutting the door behind you with his foot, leaving his four friends dazed and confused, along with Rhiannon who was equally stunned by what just happened.

“Do you live here too?” Daesung asked politely. Rhiannon blushed and shook her head.

“No, I’m just visiting. Let’s… let’s just get you all situated in the guest room. We’ll need to buy more mattresses...” Rhiannon paced into the kitchen, grabbing a notepad and a pen.

“Don’t tell me that the guest room is next to theirs,” Seungri whined.

“Sorry, but it is… you’ll have to deal with the noise for a little while…” Rhiannon mumbled, remembering when Seunghyun moved in with (Y/N) while she was still living with their parents. She shuddered.

All the boys groaned in unison. At least they were safe, and you were back in Seunghyun’s arms. Even though you were skittish and fearful at first, you eventually got to know Jiyong and the others, having them help you run your little scarf shop. It was a simple life, but better than any of them could have hoped for before they escaped. Even if they had to deal with another slightly cramped room, it was infinitely better than the prison. Everyone could go back to living properly, eating properly, loving properly.

#seunghyun scenario #top scenario #T.O.P #bigbang #imagine #monster au #bigbang scenarios #choi seunghyun x reader #T.O.P x reader #top x reader

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