#i just kinda nodded abt that
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in my mind palace bachira and nagi have the biggest cocks in blue lock
#you don’t expect it from either of them but for different reasons#obv bachira isn’t a big guy…he’s very average. so you’re shocked that he has a monster in his pants#as for nagi…nagi’s very tall and while he’s def fit he’s more lean#and i guess it’s his (often) nonchalant disposition but he doesn’t carry himself like a guy w a big dick#it’s not a big deal to him?????? like. he doesn’t rly care abt dick measuring contests#it’s kinda like his soccer skills; he’s just genetically hashtag blessed#i also think unfortunately for you that he’s really really good with it#he’s a wild card in bed to me. you don’t think he’d be as intense as he is#something something genius monster on the field genius monster in bed#ofc bachira is also insane in bed and can wield his dick like a weapon but then again he’s more outwardly Freaky#this may be an unpopular opinion and i must admit i am biased against barou but even still i think bachira and nagi have the biggest dicks.#don’t even get me started about how much of a size queen reo is jfbdjksjdsksks#btw this isn’t me calling anyone else’s dick small i just think they both have the whole hog in their pants nod nod nod#nyeah#*chokes and dies*#— musings#— blue lock#— bachira meguru#— nagi seishiro
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why do i always remember everybody but nobody remembers me
#ren’s rants ᡣ𐭩 .⠀⠀︵#this one really is a RANT#this is so annoying i always remember names and faces or even find someone familiar but i always look weird since nobody never remembers me#a cute guy who studied w me in hs for a bit is now a freshman in my major and i went to talk to him#and said i remembered him#and he just nodded and then when i went away i kinda saw him laughing abt jt w his friends#😭 and he is so cute and so my type#and he let me follow him on insta but didnt follow me back :/#and i know he found it weird#and now ME a year older in uni than him im feeling so ashamed#its sad
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why the fuck am i trying to draw when i can't draw
#i showed my last one to my mum and she just nodded but ig i was still a bit proud so i was like maybe she was just busy and tired#so i tried talking about like the scene it's from and how i think anatomical drawings have helped with drawing anything else#admittedly wanting her to tell me it's better than my earlier will graham drawing from when i'd just started bc idk if she liked that#but she didn't say anything#with the earlier one she just said she doesn't know how my brother and i can draw at all bc she can't#i can't do 'art' without her mentioning my artist brother and like yeah he's obviously way better but like this is my drawing not his#and maybe i shouldn't use her as my decider bc my brother actually likes my drawings and he's the artist#but idk#if i was better at things she'd have to cave eventually and compliment me#sometimes i just say 'i like it actually' abt stuff i do or how my hair looks etc so she'll agree while kinda listening agjdhkf it counts#i know i've got a low iq and clumsy hands and all that but can she at least LIE like everyone else does so i can pretend#truth is overrated
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obsessed with aleksa's mannerisms during his 1 minute long quest to get as comfortable as possible
#hes so fascinating to watch when hes not talking his eyes r so like shifty & blown open & intense what is he thinking abt ...#it looks like hes not listening at all 80% of the time but its kind of the opposite hes like Completely focused#also its so tragic to me when the subject of alex's one hundred million insanely impressive achievements comes up#and hes just kinda listening and nodding and laughing along and shaking his head when someone says sth outrageous#but he never tries to change the topic or like divert the conversation to himself ..............#hes even happy to like either provide even more information abt alex or explain sth abt him hes probably explaining for the 100th time ...#(blood dripping from my eyes and nose but i dont notice)#aleksa vulović#boy boy
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small little thing abt botw/totk and the future of zelda games considering it seems likely that future zelda games might be in the same style as those two and how i feel like botw/totk don't actually feel like zelda games (kind of messy i just typed this out in a kind of informal or whatever way) (this post is long af btw so uhhhh yeah)
im part of the group that claims that botw/totk aren't 'real' zelda games but... i guess they are technically 'real' zelda games, but... they sure as fuck don't feel like it, and because of that, i'm not at all excited with the idea of future loz games being in the same style, especially with the pitfalls these last two games have fallen into having been things that past zelda games did especially well, it feels like things have been sort of flipped on their heads in terms of what's being valued or whatever
like... the best parts of older zelda games were things like the story and the characters and the puzzles and the dungeons and stuff like that... the best parts of botw/totk right now are just the gameplay. people enjoy these new characters, but they dont have the narrative backing that older games do, they don't have the same impactful arcs or roles allowed by a more linear story
the point i want to get at though is how botw/totk honestly don't feel like direct evolutions or steps up from past zelda games but rather just... entirely different game styles (open world games) with the zelda flavoring and worldbuilding and story styling slapped on top.
i mean... i feel like a half-decent example of some other well-known franchises that have jumped on this (honestly kind of thoughtless) open-world bandwagon are mario (mario odyssey) pokemon (sword/shield and scarlet/violet) fire emblem (kind of. with some free-walking segments in 3 houses and engage) and the soulsborne type games (elden ring), these are all other well known and storied game series' that have somewhat made the move to open world, and i think that switch was a bit smoother, kept the core and integrity of the games that came before much better than botw/totk did
elden ring is the easiest to explain- the gameplay loop and core mechanics are the same and build upon past games' you just have more room to run around and get killed in with some little open-world flourishes like material gathering.
fire emblem is... a bit less flexible in terms of changing up the core gameplay, and the addition of open-world segments are added to add bonuses to the strategy gameplay and allow for more support-building oppourtunities and little minigames, and its more or less evolution from echoes' dungeon-crawling bits and the customizable castle in fates. the core gameplay still effectively works the exact same, just with some little class or mechanic tweaks and additions.
mario odyssey, though each world was pretty massive, still had your typical 3d mario platforming, and the new hat stuff fit in pretty well with olderpowerups and gimmicks, and the boss battles feel and work pretty similarly to the way they used it- odyssey does feel like an evolution from past mario games (ps. playing two-player with one person as cappy snaps the game in half. its the secret easy mode lol)
the new pokemon games are pretty much just the same as past pokemon games, theyre just open world and buggy as fuck rip have extra little open-world flourishes that build on what past games set up. the battling works the same as ever and the progression is the same with a number of powerful trainers you have to battle to continue forward.
with botw/totk... the progression is dramatically different in terms of power-scaling, world presentation, item-gathering, puzzle-solving... pretty much everything in the established zelda format. i get that it was pretty much the aim with botw to have a fresh start and throw out a lot of the old standards but it just makes them feel so dramatically alien to past zelda games; theyre completely different experiences in pretty much every single way, and as such they dont feel like what we've (well, people who have started with and spent a lot of time with other loz games) learned to associate with the zelda titles.
with open world games in general it's a bit harder to have a truly impactful narrative akin to those in past zelda games, anyways. i will admit that botw was a good execution of trying out something entirely new, and the narrative and gameplay and world actually complement each other very well, so despite what i've said in the past I can't really fault it's narrative too much since it's a less traditional sort of narrative and effectively does what it aims to do very well.
totk, on the other hand, proves that this style of game does not mesh with the old style of storytelling at ALL. linear games can have proper narratives with coherent stakes, developing characters, twists and reveals and building emotion and mood- and all of that is thrown out the window with totk when they decided to try and have both a more linear story with actual reveals and development and emotion, while also letting you literally spoil it for yourself out the gate.
you can't really have a well-executed story when players are capable of doing things drastically out of order and of jumping into story beats without the prior buildup and straight-up ruining what could be otherwise emotional reveals, and players being capable of doing this is hard-baked in how the game fundamentally works. I honestly feel bad for people who found the fifth sage by accident before anything else.
you can't effectively have a linear story with character growth and plot developments and impactful moments while also allowing it to be experienced out of order and with massive time gaps in between; with this kind of stuff, you can't really have your cake and eat it too. say what you will about the linearity of past zelda games, but i bet you that midna wouldn't be as beloved as a character as she is if it weren't for the linear order of the story and its events. certain parts of storytelling may demand for a linear manner of telling that story.
botw's story works because none of the memories reveal anything groundbreaking taht you don't already know; they are optional and merely give you more information about these characters from link's past and simply inform you about the girl keeping ganon at bay. if you find a late memory first, that's fine- it technically doesnt reveal anything too important to you, it just fills in some gaps for you and your player character. it makes sense within the story itself for the world to be so open and for you to be able to do what you can; the story is not the focus, nor is it even needed to beat the game. the story was made with the gameplay and what you are allowed to do in mind, and as such doesn't include things such as in-depth character development or important plot-twists.
on the other hand, you can easily spoil totk's biggest plot twist in a handful of different ways completely by accident, just by getting curious about the world around you. this can shatter a lot of the mystery or tension in the plot and this can happen completely by accident to someone playing the game organically and blindly. the story itself doesn't take this into account, it reads more like a linear story that would be more suited to a linear style of play, coming across things in order to ramp up the stakes and let things be revealed at the best possible time. (tbh totk's story doesnt seem to take the player into account in general, if the game forcing you to watch basically the same long cutscene four fucking times says anything, jesus christ)
narrative pitfalls aside, botw/totk put heavy emphasis on gameplay, but not in the same way older zelda games did, and as such trade away the unique items and gimmick-y game-specific mechanics for a small toolset handed to you out the gate. what botw/totk do- giving you everything you need from the start and having very little true varation in the gameplay from then on out- make sense and works just fine for an open world game. there is, however, a lack of actual depth to that gameplay that other open world games do have (off the top of my head, the ability to unlock and upgrade abilities and have general character upgrades in fenyx rising as well as the impressive depths of elden ring's combat and character customization system). the most depth botw/totk has to the actual gameplay is just the fourish different weapon types and the ways you use your fourish abilities (saying fourish bc for real ultrahand and fuse are fundamentally the exact same thing). there is also just raising the little defense numbers on your armor and getting more stamina and health, but that does absolutely nothing to the actual gameplay but make link more durable.
i mean, sure, health in past loz games just makes link more durable, too, but thats how health upgrades in any other game work.
the gameplay switch makes sense, considering the switch from a linear puzzle-adventure concentric game to a more sandbox-esque open-world game, but it does not mesh with the former loz formula at all, so while the shift in style makes sense, it makes me think that you can't have a previous-style loz experience in an open-world sandboxish sort of game. especially with how in totk you can very easily bypass most of the fire temple just using the mechanics handed to you at the start. you can't have the same type of zelda dungeons in a game where you are allowed to do it 'wrong' and the game itself does not allow for the same kinds of puzzles.
i am of the opinion that so long as future zelda games work the same way botw/totk did, we will not get old-school zelda-style dungeons again.
the loss of a variety of items used for specific puzzles and environment switches is the loss of a varied dungeon experience and the loss of the same kind of world and character progression as past zelda games.
you are handed everything you'll ever need at the start of botw/totk. the only thing that will meaningfully change is how much damage you do. there are no alternate strategies opened up by new items that can double as weapons, no new traversal options or routes opened up by things such as grappling hooks or clawshots or whips or specific wands. even the battle system is drastically different, instead of being enemies that take specific amounts of hits to die while you can obtain progressively stronger swords, enemies are just damage sponges and you can get all kind of weapons that just do different numerical amounts of damage.
the bosses themselves- big staples and draws of zelda games- also work extremely differently. instead of having to leverage specific items to expose weak spots or having to fight in a specific manner to do damage, you are just asked to... do damage. even in totk's bosses, where sage abilities are most certainly helpful, the only boss i found to truly require a sage ability was the lighting temple's boss; the others i either hardly used the sage at all (i didn't use yunobo at all in the second phase of the fire temple boss and hardly had a need for tulin with the wind temple boss [esp considering i was using a 3-shot lynel bow to make the poor fucker a cakewalk]) or found that alternative solutions felt better, like resorting to splash fruit on repeat water temple fights instead of wrestling with having to activate and use sidon's ability. the sages are honestly fairly poor replacements for dungeon specific items.
this kind of causes botw/totk to play more like a poor man's dark souls or just like any other open world rpgish game. i don't play botw/totk for the experience of a zelda game, i play it because it's an open world game that i can walk around in for five minute before switching to something else because i liked something in that other game better.
the combat in botw/totk isnt designed in such a way that makes it feel good. mineru's mech is fucking dismal, but since it's just either shooting with a bow or attacking with one of three types of melee weapon with some timing for a dodge, it can get stale fast. it doesn't necessarily even feel good, since there's not enough variety for it to get really engaging. (this is def an uneven comparison, but elden ring's combat feels considerable better with the different dodges you can do and the amount of attack options you have with just one weapon, not to mention the amount of control you have over your general fighting style.) combat in botw/totk at hour 1 is the exact same as combat in botw/totk at hour 100, the only different being the amount of damage you do or how much of a beating you can take.
it just... the styles of botw/totk can't allow them to feel the same as older zelda games. the shift in style was clearly a good move to draw in series newbies and shake things up, but it comes at the caveat of making them feel distant from their predecessors and uncomfortably similar to other games like them. it's hard to avoid comparisons with elden ring when on the surface they are very similar games, one just feels more true to its core identity
this all is said without mentioning the way in which botw/totk lore feels almost dismissive of past series staples and seems intent on not looking back while also taking every fucking attempt to nudge you and say 'hey, remember that zelda game' and honestly all that shit does is make me want to play a different zelda game.
botw/totk seem altogether very desperate to distance themselves from past zelda games while also being unable to really tear itself from what came before and it just culminates in me spotting linebeck island on the map and going 'damn i miss linebeck' and turning the fucking game off to play phantom hourglass instead. say what you will about phantom hourglass, but it certainly handles its story progression and character development infinitely better than the game that lets you accidentally shatter the impact of the story by deciding to check out that cool temple in the distance of the depths
#quick note abt the examples from early on i got the verdict on soulsborne games from my friend who has actually played more than elden ring#and pokemon was kinda a guess the most recently mainline pokemon game i have is sun/moon#totk has made me really think about what i like in video games and why lmao.#it has also made me appreciate botw a lot more. i prefer the emptier hyrule of botw it just feels extra cluttered in totk#i like how in botw its a lot more natural and more fun to honestly run around in with there being no falling debris or scary holes#salty talks#totk salt#being annoying abt totk again hiiiii. id like to talk abt stuff i liked in other loz games but its hard to start without some kind prompt#im not entirely sure how i could really explain how i feel totk's story failed and why without going in circles for a while#its just. the gameplay and the intended story experience clash like fucking crazy plus the story relies too much on the player#to do a lot of emotional heavy lifting#like. if you want to start a convo with me abt this go for it but this is what i have to say for rn#loz#legend of zelda#totk#botw#totk criticism#i do really appreciate botw now im not gonna lie. its still not amazing in my eyes but i appreciate it for what it is#also i cannot believe totk made linebeck island worse fuck you#like. in botw theres a goddamn chest with 50 rupees and thats a good subtle nod to what's being referenced#in totk theres just two bokoblins and nothing else and i dont care if it wouldve been lazy to just have the chest there again#you explicitly namedropped linebeck might as well make good on it. its more fun to continue having little nods like that#i understand when people say that saying botw isnt a 'real zelda game' is bad criticism but tbh its not really a criticism its just an#observation. it comes with its ups and downs and for me it makes me enjoy these games less and makes me feel a bit alienated#if that makes sense. idk. its late and if i continue with that thought im going to lose it for sure#ig just. im upset abt how totk handled its story and im upset at the idea of... this being the future of these games yknow#it feels like a selfish sentiment but idk#long post#bitching abt totk
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dude i hold the circumcision guys so closely in my heart that was just such a fun moment they had on day one and it's literally stuck with me for so long. like goddamn to me i feel like charlie slimecicle's day one vod shaped how i view the qsmp as a whole bc he honestly was down with the spirit from minute one, he was just fucking elated, it was him, his half remembered high school spanish, and a google translate window against the world. like i just. like i hold that vod so closely. god. i'm going to explode.
#also i'm going back to purgatory vods gksjxjfksjhd#qsmp#there is a pipeline with me and it always goes 'i miss qsmp' -> straight back to purgatory#shut up vic#block game brainrot#also now that we're alone...... the vod was also a favorite for a different reason#towards the third quarter of the vod slime jaiden and the british man are basically doing a building podcast#where they're chatting about things like language and their skill or lack thereof#and that was once among my favorite parts of the vod (although not the server) just bc of the conversation#unfortunately the british guy did have some insights abt languages and learning that i kinda agree with#and so it was nice to hear them chat and nod along cause. to me that's some of my favorite stuff#just hearing people chat. that's why that stream where bad foolish and quackity were helping with copacabana was another fav of mine#bc it was them chatting and getting to know each other; it was really interesting#and is also why i like purgatory; being constantly in call while grinding gives opportunities for shit like the breast milk#idk i'm just fascinated by people. i like seeing how people think#anyway this was a tangent idk what i'm saying#i guess the moral of the story is I Miss QSMP
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lmao do you guys remember when star wars was good
#with the exception of andor all these live action shows have been absolute shit#i was so ready for my rebels 2. animated space family hijinks.#what the fuck was that#that was if you took the heart and soul out of rebels and put it in a bland ass live action show#that was the exact same fucking thing as the other live action shows#also why the fuck did they choose to make sabine a jedi. i’m kinda pissed abt this#she wasn’t a jedi. that didn’t work for her. and that was FINE and she was still awesome and capable#ALSO they really underutilized chopper. you want a comedic droid? FUCK the random jedi droid and USE CHOPPER#honestly it’s probably for the best that they didnt#that being said i almost cried when ezra dressed up as a stormtrooper. that was a good little nod to rebels#i miss the rebels gang i just want my space family back#when i kept begging to know what happened to ezra i was asking for more rebels. not the mandalorian with a different name#turtle talks#ahsoka negativity#star wars negativity#just in case
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meanwhile, some quotes about the material:
The "musical within a musical" is about a ramshackle theater troupe haphazardly putting on a show destined for Broadway in exchange for doing chores around the farm. People fall in and out of love throughout the process, all while the city folk comically struggle with the country life. Emmy-winning writer Cheri Steinkellner was given one mandate, however: "No tractor," she laughed on the phone just weeks before the show was set to begin previews. "They were adamant about that. And there's a tractor in the movie. There's a tractor in almost every scene. It's in many ways about a tractor. But I was told absolutely no tractor." [...] "We're all working on this like we're on an actual summer stock schedule. Art imitates life imitates art. It's just go, go, go. And I couldn't be prouder of our cast, and our Jane and Joe," Steinkellner, who is also a Golden Globe winner, said. Her writing partner also happens to be her husband Bill. "Our 'Summer Stock' is more 'inspired by' than adaptation. There are four songs included from the original film that you can't not do. But the new songs are the best of the old songs. The secret sauce was the great American Songbook." She said "It Had To Be You" is one of the classics audiences can expect.
[source: ‘High School Musical’s’ Corbin Bleu makes his Goodspeed debut in ‘Summer Stock’]
So, how different is the musical Summer Stock from the movie? It feels like a whole new animal, even though we’ve borrowed some elements from the movie. It is still, first and foremost, a love letter to the theater; it’s about this group of players who come to a farm to put on a show. So many numbers are how they get into farming through performance! We also still focus on how Joe and his partner Phil [played by Gilbert L. Bailey II] fight to get the show on its feet, and how Joe helps his eventual love interest Jane [played by Danielle Wade] find her inner performer. But a lot has changed from the film, including some of the relationships. We have a brilliant new writer, Cheri Steinkellner, who has dropped in a lot of nods to why we love musical theater. We have Veanne Cox as Orville’s mother, who is the new “villain” of the piece. And we’ve added a lot of music, such as “It Had to Be You” and “It’s Only a Paper Moon,” and we’ve switched around who’s singing some of the film’s songs, such as “Dig, Dig, Dig” and “Happy Harvest.” But the most important thing is that while we’re still in the late 1940s, there are two Black actors playing the male leads – me and Gilbert Bailey as Phil – and it is definitely not color-blind casting; it’s color-conscious. That means we’re dealing with an interracial love affair, for instance. The racial element is an additional driving force, which I think is necessary, but the main story isn’t about the struggle for racial equality. In the end, it’s still a feel-good MGM-like affair. You’ve previously stepped into the figurative shoes of Gene Kelly, who originated the role of Joe in the movie, as well as Fred Astaire. How does that feel? I am always aware these golden age icons from MGM have such a specific style and that they make what they do look easy. Of course, I want to bring that to Joe. But in the tap dance sequence, for instance, we also have a bit of Gregory Hines, even though I’m no Gregory Hines. And at the end of the day, it’s me on stage, and I work hardest on finding my own characterization of these roles. This is your first time working with Donna Feore, who is one of Canada’s leading directors and choreographers. Tell me about your experience with her? Donna is wonderful to work with, both as director and choreographer. I think the best thing about her handling both roles is we don’t have to get everyone on the same page, because she is the same page. She’s also really hands-on with the music; she fought to have a drummer in the room during rehearsals so we could find those beats while we created the choreography, not just insert them later. As she directs, she considers the movement of every scene, but also the story that we’re telling through that movement! It’s not movement for movement’s sake, and I appreciate that! Goodspeed isn’t the easiest place to do a dance-oriented show, is it? Yes, we’re dealing with the confines of a very small stage, it’s like dancing on a Chiclet. I am so impressed how vibrantly our cast can move on this stage. We’re on top of each other! I think we’d look great on a bigger stage, which is just one reason why everyone is focused on moving this show to New York.
[source: Interview: Corbin Bleu Talks About the New Musical Summer Stock and the Fourth Season of HSMTMTS]
“Summer Stock” is right in Corbin Bleu’s wheelhouse. “I feel at home on the stage,” he said. An actor, singer and dancer his whole life, Bleu is appearing in the upcoming stage adaptation of the Hollywood musical beginning July 7 at the Goodspeed Opera House. “I established myself in this particular genre, doing shows associated with Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire,” he said. “I am a bit of an old soul. This is what my voice naturally goes to.” The “High School Musical” star is playing Joe Ross, one of a troupe of actors that descends on a small farming town to turn an old barn into a theater. It appears he was born to play the role originated by Kelly on the big screen. “I grew up as a theater kid,” Bleu said. “I grew up watching old MGM movies. I was a theater nerd and a musical theater fan. My dad kept a storage unit of stuff from our childhood, and he found an old school paper from when I was in elementary school where I’m dreaming of performing in musicals.” [...] Of the four shows, “Holiday Inn” is most similar to “Summer Stock,” which was also adapted from a movie . “Holiday Inn” was a fairly close reworking of the film, but “Summer Stock” takes a few more liberties. “It’s not the exact same story,” Bleu said. “When I watch the movie, I think it could definitely use some updates.” Those updates include a multi-racial cast. “Let’s not skirt the obvious,” Bleu said. “I’m a Black guy doing characters traditionally played by white men, doing things Black men weren’t traditionally able to do easily at the time these shows take place.” [...] “Some parts of the book are still in process,” Bleu said. “Cheri is in the room with us at rehearsals. We want this to feel modern, but we don’t want to shoehorn anything in. “I was also part of the workshop we did in New York a month and a half ago,” he added. “I’m loving seeing it and I’m loving being a part of it. We know this genre. It’s a feel-good musical comedy, a big song and dance show.” Though there is a lot that has been rethought when reshaping “Summer Stock” for the 21st-century stage, those who know it as a Gene Kelly movie will have plenty to latch onto. “We are completely paying our homage to Gene,” Bleu said. “I am not Gene, but I do have a natural tendency to lean into that style. Gregory Hines is also a big inspiration. There’s tap dancing in this. There’s a whole Lindy Hop number. There are a lot of very large dance numbers.”
[source: ‘High School Musical’ star Corbin Bleu is rethinking ‘Summer Stock’ at the Goodspeed Opera House]
#already able to guess abt the ''inspired by'' more than [trying for a peak one to one adaptation] and gilbert as phil (as herb in the film)#and vienna as margaret wingate as orville's mother....#doing the like look up & kinda combine nodding and a head tilt abt [moving the show to new york] didn't occur to me but like oh yeah ig#hand on my shoulder like even in looking through one actor's relatively recent oeuvre you See the productions' iterations travel....#hand back on my own shoulder like counterpoint i don't know or much notice or extrapolate shit lol. unless? when i do#you gotta love the meta show bound for nyc within a show about what it takes putting on a show etc etc what all & have you#summer stock#implicitly:#will roland#explicitly a lot re:#corbin bleu#for everyone keeping up with the corbinews / corbin bleuws. got htm:tm:ts in that lol didn't know he was Fictional Corbin in there...#this is just like when corbin bleu went to see the show ft. will roland on bway with a show within its show mentioning going to bway fr...#oh i'd also thought about the tractor issue and figured that truly might be a bit much for a stage production#there's a lot you can move around / evolve / excise / add in the film's material. including the parts about the tractor i'm very sure#even though that's the main character's big Actually Nice moment lmao. i assume an inspired change is that he's Overall actually nice#remembering that fun fact of bmc's bway stage actually being shallower than its off-bway dimensions
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campus crush!sunghoon x f!reader
stats class. keep ur glasses on when u fuck me. statistical analysis with ur tongue. thats abt it. sunghoon word porn ngl ENHA HARD HOURS (kinda) 18+ MDNI
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You're late. Again.
The digital clock on your phone reads 3:10 PM as you sprint across campus, your backpack bouncing against your spine with each step. Statistics seminar started ten minutes ago, and Professor Clarke has definitely noticed your absence by now. Not that it's unusual—you've made it a habit to burst through those doors at exactly ten minutes past, a whirlwind of apologies and bright smiles.
"Sorry, sorry!" you announce as you push open the computer lab door, slightly out of breath.
Twenty pairs of eyes swivel toward you, but Professor Clarke doesn't even look up from his laptop at the front of the room.
"How kind of you to join us," he says dryly. "We were just assigning semester project partners."
You flash him your most charming smile as you slide into an empty seat. "Perfect timing then."
A few people laugh. You've mastered the art of diffusing tension with humor, of making your tardiness seem like a quirky character trait rather than a genuine inability to manage time. It's gotten you this far in university.
"As I was saying," Professor Clarke continues, "this statistical analysis project will count for forty percent of your grade. You and your assigned partner will select a dataset, develop a hypothesis, and use STATA to analyze your findings." He gestures to the complex statistical software displayed on the projector screen—the same software that has been giving you nightmares since week one.
You glance around the room, hoping you'll be paired with Olivia or Zara—friends who wouldn't mind carrying the team if necessary. But when Professor Clarke reads off, "Sunghoon Park and..." followed by your name, your heart does something unexpected.
It skips.
You've noticed him before—it's hard not to. He always sits in the same spot three rows from the front, always arrives fifteen minutes early, always has his notebook open at the exact moment class begins.
What you haven't fully appreciated until now, as you turn to locate him in the room, is just how devastatingly handsome he is. His dark eyes find yours immediately behind stylish wire-rimmed glasses that give him an irresistible intellectual appeal. One corner of his perfectly shaped mouth lifts in the smallest acknowledgment, and a strand of black hair falls across his forehead when he nods at you. The combination of his reserved demeanor and model-worthy looks creates an effect that makes your stomach flip. He's the definition of a hot nerd—the kind that makes you temporarily forget about statistical analysis altogether and wonder what he'd look like with those glasses slightly askew, his usually perfect hair disheveled.
After partnering announcements finish, Professor Clarke instructs everyone to move next to their assigned partners to discuss project ideas.
You gather your things and make your way to Sunghoon's station, dropping into the chair beside him with dramatic flair.
"Fair warning," you say brightly, "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with this software. Like, none. Zero. Statistical analysis to me is deciding which café has the shortest queue."
You expect a sigh or a look of disappointment—it's what most serious students do when they realize they've been paired with you. Instead, Sunghoon's expression softens.
"It's okay," he says quietly, his voice carrying just a hint of an accent. "I'm... not an expert either."
"But you always look so focused during class," you say, gesturing to his immaculate notes.
He shrugs, the movement slight and controlled. "I write everything down. Doesn't mean I understand it all."
When he opens the STATA program and navigates through a few screens with apparent ease, you lean closer.
"Okay, so you're being modest. You definitely know more than I do."
"Barely," he admits, and you catch the faintest hint of a smile—not the polite one from before, but something genuine that makes you want to see it again. "I just know how to make it look like I know what I'm doing."
"That's an important life skill," you laugh, pulling your chair closer to see his screen better. "So what kind of data are we analyzing? Please say something fun like ice cream consumption versus happiness levels."
Sunghoon doesn't laugh, but his eyes crinkle slightly at the corners. "Actually," he says, "we can choose almost anything that interests us."
You bump his shoulder lightly with yours. "See? We're going to be great partners. I bring the wild ideas, you bring the common sense."
"Is that what they call it?" he asks, and there's a hint of playfulness in his voice that catches you off guard.
"What would you call it?" you challenge.
He considers for a moment, adjusting his glasses with a single finger pushed against the bridge. The gesture shouldn't be as attractive as it is. "Survival instinct."
You laugh, genuinely surprised. "So I'm dangerous?"
"No," he says, turning slightly to face you better. "Statistical software is dangerous. You're..." he pauses, seeming to search for the right word, "unpredictable."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"It was meant as one." The quiet confidence in his voice sends a small thrill through you.
Professor Clarke clears his throat at the front of the room. "I expect project proposals by the end of next week. Choose your dataset carefully—it will determine the scope of your entire project."
You glance at the clock. Only fifteen minutes of class remain.
"So, partner," you say, lowering your voice as Professor Clarke continues, "when should we meet to figure this out? I promise I'll try not to be ten minutes late."
Sunghoon's mouth quirks up at one corner. "Would you actually show up if I said 8 AM at the library?"
"Now you're just testing me," you whisper back.
"Coffee shop after class on Thursday?" he suggests instead, his voice equally quiet. "The one behind the science building?"
"Beans & Books? You've got good taste." You nod approvingly. "I practically live there between classes."
"I know," he says, then immediately looks as if he wishes he could take it back.
"You know?" You raise an eyebrow, intrigued and slightly pleased.
A faint color appears high on his cheekbones. "I've seen you there. You always order something different and then type furiously on your laptop."
The fact that he's noticed you before, observed your habits even, gives you a little flutter of satisfaction. "And what do you order, Sunghoon Park? Let me guess—plain black coffee, no sugar."
His eyebrows lift slightly. "Close. Earl Grey tea."
"Of course," you nod sagely. "Sophisticated."
When class ends, you gather your things slowly, suddenly reluctant to leave. Sunghoon stands, slinging his messenger bag across his chest in one smooth motion.
"Thursday, then," he says, as if confirming an important business meeting.
"It's a date," you reply with deliberate casualness, watching his reaction.
His expression remains mostly neutral, but you don't miss the quick blink, the slight pause before he nods. "For statistics," he clarifies, but the slight upturn of his lips betrays him.
"For statistics," you agree solemnly, though you're already wondering what other subjects you might explore together.
The coffee shop meeting goes surprisingly well. What you expected to be an hour of awkward dataset discussions turns into three hours of conversation that meanders far beyond statistics. Sunghoon, it turns out, has layers beneath his reserved exterior—he plays piano, reads philosophy for fun, and has a dry sense of humor that catches you off guard and makes you laugh harder than you have in weeks.
By the end of the evening, you've not only selected your dataset (coffee consumption versus academic performance—your suggestion, which he surprisingly agreed to), but you've also learned that his stammer appears when he's either nervous or passionate about a topic. You find both instances equally endearing.
When Friday's class rolls around, something shifts. You arrive only five minutes late (progress), and the space beside Sunghoon, which is usually empty, now seems to be waiting for you. You slide into the seat and he glances up from his notebook, the corner of his mouth lifting in that subtle way that's becoming familiar.
"You're almost on time," he says quietly, amusement in his eyes.
"Don't get used to it," you reply, but there's no bite to your words.
Throughout the class, your awareness of him is heightened—the way his brow furrows when he's concentrating, how his fingers tap thoughtfully against the desk when Professor Clarke asks a difficult question, the scent of his cologne when he leans closer to point something out on your screen.
After class, you find yourself hesitating as you pack up your things, watching as he meticulously organizes his notes.
"So," you begin, aiming for casual, "I was thinking... we should probably meet again this weekend to work on the project." You pause. "My roommate's gone for the weekend. We could use my dorm? Fewer distractions than the coffee shop."
Sunghoon looks up, his expression unreadable for a moment before he nods. "That would be... efficient."
You laugh at his choice of words. "Very statistical of you."
"I meant—" he starts, a hint of that stammer appearing.
"I know what you meant," you interrupt, grinning. "Saturday at four?"
He nods, adjusting his glasses. "I'll bring the data analysis. You bring the coffee."
"Deal."
Saturday arrives, and for the first time in your university career, you spend thirty minutes tidying your room before a study session. You tell yourself it's just basic courtesy, not because you care what Sunghoon thinks of your living space.
At precisely four o'clock, there's a knock at your door. Punctual as always.
You open it to find Sunghoon standing there in jeans and a simple button-down shirt, his laptop bag slung across his body. He's swapped his usual wire-frames for slightly thicker black glasses that somehow make him look even more attractive—scholarly but with an edge.
"You're making me look bad with this punctuality thing," you say by way of greeting, stepping aside to let him in.
"Sorry?" he offers, clearly unsure if he's actually done something wrong.
You laugh. "I'm joking. Come in."
Your dorm room is standard—bed, desk, small seating area with a loveseat and coffee table—but you've made it yours with art on the walls and plants on every available surface. Sunghoon takes it all in with curious eyes.
"I like your space," he says, and it sounds genuine.
"Thanks. Where should we set up? Desk or coffee table?"
"Either is fine," he says, that formal politeness still present even after your hours in the coffee shop.
You end up at the coffee table, sitting side by side on the loveseat, laptops open. For an hour, you actually make progress on the project. Sunghoon explains correlations in a way that finally makes sense, and you discover you have a talent for visualizing data in creative ways that makes his eyes light up with approval.
But as the afternoon wears on, the small space means your shoulders keep brushing, your knees occasionally touch, and each point of contact feels increasingly deliberate. When you reach for your coffee at the same moment he reaches for his tea, your hands collide, and neither of you pulls away immediately.
"Sorry," you both say at once, and then laugh.
"Great minds," you add, but you're distracted by how his eyes look behind those glasses, warm and focused entirely on you.
At some point, you shift positions, both of you turning toward each other to discuss a particularly complicated aspect of your analysis. Your knees are definitely touching now, and the loveseat suddenly seems much smaller than it did an hour ago.
"So if we compare these variables..." he's saying, but you're watching his mouth form the words more than listening to their meaning.
"Hmm?" you say, forcing your attention back to the screen.
He turns to look at you fully, and you realize how close your faces are. "You're not listening," he says, but there's no accusation in his voice.
"I'm distracted," you admit.
"By statistics?"
"By you."
The words hang in the air between you. Sunghoon blinks, his expression shifting from confusion to something more intense. He swallows visibly, and you watch the movement in his throat.
"I'm... distracting?" he asks, his voice lower than before.
"Extremely." Your eyes lock on his glasses, the way they frame his dark eyes, how they complete his devastatingly attractive intellectual look. "Especially with these on."
His eyebrows raise slightly in surprise. "The glasses?"
"God, yes," you breathe, moving closer. "You have no idea how fucking hot you look in them."
A flush spreads across his cheeks, but there's a new confidence in the way he holds your gaze. Without warning, he pulls you forward into a kiss that has nothing of his usual restraint. His laptop slides forgotten to the coffee table as you shift closer, and then somehow you're straddling his lap, your hands on either side of his face as you deepen the kiss.
When you break apart to breathe, his glasses are slightly askew. You straighten them gently, then run your fingers through his usually immaculate hair, deliberately messing it up while keeping the glasses perfectly in place.
"You're so sexy," you murmur against his mouth. "I've been thinking about this since the first day we were paired up."
His hands find your hips, holding you firmly against him. "I find that... statistically improbable," he manages, but his breathing is as uneven as yours.
"I'll show you improbable," you whisper, grinding down deliberately. His glasses fog slightly from the heat between you, and the sight sends a thrill through your body. "So fucking hot," you repeat, unable to stop yourself.
His hands slide beneath your shirt, exploring with a surprising boldness that makes you gasp. "We should—" he starts, breathing heavily.
“Yes,” you agree, already pulling him up from the loveseat, walking backwards toward your bed while keeping his mouth on yours. “The project can definitely wait.”
You fall back onto the mattress, pulling him down with you, careful not to knock his glasses off as he hovers above you. They’ve fogged again from the heat between your bodies, and something about that sight—this controlled, precise man coming undone while still looking every bit the hot intellectual—pushes you past any remaining hesitation.
“Leave them on,” you insist when he reaches to remove his glasses. “Please.”
His lips curve into a smile that’s nothing like his usual restrained expressions—this one is knowing, almost wicked. “If that’s what you want,” he murmurs, lowering his mouth to your neck.
“It’s definitely what I want,” you gasp as his teeth graze your skin. “Along with… everything else.”
There’s a playful air to each touch, a slow building of tension as you both start to peel away layers. You tug at the hem of his shirt first, sliding it up inch by tantalizing inch until he lifts his arms to help you pull it off. He returns the favor by slipping a hand under your blouse, fingertips teasing over your ribs. Every time he tries to hasten the pace, you grin and slow him down, dragging the fabric just a bit more before letting it fall away, leaving him momentarily breathless. The sound he makes—caught somewhere between a groan and a laugh—sends a thrill through you.
Time seems to blur as clothing is discarded piece by piece, inhibitions falling away with each new revelation of skin. The afternoon sunlight filters through your curtains, casting everything in a warm glow.
At some point, you find yourself above him, both of you completely bare except for his glasses, which have somehow remained perfectly in place despite everything. You pause for a moment, taking in the sight of him beneath you—all lean muscle and flushed skin, those wire-rimmed glasses still perched on his nose, slightly fogged from the heat between your bodies.
“You’re staring,” he whispers, a vulnerability in his voice despite the intimate position.
“Can you blame me?” You lean down, placing a gentle kiss on his lips, then another, and another, each one growing more insistent. “God, look at you.”
His hands find your hips, steadying you as you continue to kiss him, his glasses occasionally bumping against your face in a way that only heightens your desire. There's something impossibly erotic about him being completely naked except for those glasses—the contrast between his exposed body and that one remnant of his studious, put-together appearance.
"You're so fucking sexy," you breathe against his mouth. "How does anyone focus in that statistics class with you sitting there looking like this?"
He laughs softly, the sound vibrating against your lips. "I could ask you the same question."
Your kisses become more urgent, your bodies moving together with increasing need. The heat between you builds with each touch, each whispered encouragement. Sunghoon's usually careful movements grow bolder, more instinctive, as your hands explore each other's bodies. His glasses, still perfectly perched on his nose, begin to fog at the edges first—just a light mist that catches the dim light of your room. But as your passion intensifies, as your breathing grows more ragged and synchronized, the lenses cloud completely.
When you pull back to look at him, you can't help but laugh softly at the sight—this brilliantly composed man now completely blinded by the evidence of your shared desire, those glasses that make him look so irresistibly intellectual now rendered useless by the heat radiating between your bodies. To your surprise, he laughs too—not the polite chuckle you've heard in class or the soft amusement from your coffee shop conversations, but a genuine, uninhibited sound that seems to come from somewhere deep inside him. It's rich and warm and completely unguarded.
"I can't see a thing," he admits, his voice husky with desire and amusement. His hands find your face despite his temporary blindness, thumbs tracing your cheekbones with unexpected precision. "But I don't need to see to know exactly where you are."
"Is that so?" you challenge, your breath catching as his fingers trail down your neck, across your collarbone, mapping you with deliberate attention.
"I've been studying you," he murmurs, his touch making you shiver despite the heat between you. "Memorizing. Analyzing patterns." His hands continue their exploration, finding every sensitive spot with remarkable accuracy. "It's very... statistical."
You laugh against his mouth. "Only you could make statistics sound sexy."
Through the fogged lenses, you can just barely make out how his eyes darken at your words. "I have other statistical terms I could demonstrate," he offers, surprising you again with his boldness. His accent becomes slightly more pronounced when he's like this—another detail you've grown to cherish.
"Show me," you whisper, and he does—his hands and mouth conducting a thorough analysis of cause and effect, of stimuli and response, until you're clutching at his shoulders and gasping his name. All while those fogged-up glasses remain perfectly in place, the final vestige of his composed exterior while everything else between you unravels into glorious chaos.
You’re already bare beneath him, skin flushed from teasing and anticipation, but the only thing still clinging to his body—those damn glasses—make it so much worse. Or better. Definitely better.
Sunghoon hovers over you, gaze dark behind the lenses, lips swollen and slightly parted as he takes in the sight of you. You should be embarrassed at how wanton you must look, legs spread for him, body already trembling, but he’s the one who looks wrecked. His composure is gone, shattered somewhere between the desperate kisses and the way you dragged your nails down his back.
His lips quirk. “Still want me to leave them on?”
“Don’t even think about taking them off.”
His smile turns wicked, and then he’s moving—kissing, sucking, trailing his mouth down your body with purpose. His fingers dig into your thighs, spreading you wider, and then he’s right there—close enough that you can feel the ghost of his breath against you, the heat of it making your stomach clench.
He doesn’t start slow. No teasing, no light flicks of his tongue just to test the waters. Sunghoon eats you like he’s been starving for this, like he’s been waiting for the moment he could taste you, drown in you. His tongue is hot and relentless, curling against you just right, pressing where you need him most, sending shockwaves through every nerve in your body.
But what really undoes you is the feeling of his glasses pressing against your inner thighs, the cold metal contrasting with the heat of his mouth. Every time he moves, every time he adjusts his angle, the frames shift against your skin—slightly rough, slightly smooth, a reminder of exactly who is between your legs and how absolutely ruined he’s making you.
You fist the sheets, hips jerking up into his mouth, but he pins you down effortlessly, a strong arm wrapped around your thigh to keep you exactly where he wants you. He groans when you tug at his hair, the vibrations shooting through you, making you gasp his name.
“Fuck, Sunghoon—”
His response is a low hum against your clit, and your whole body shakes. You feel the damp heat of his breath, the slick slide of his tongue, but more than anything, you feel the weight of those goddamn glasses as they drag along your skin, fogging up even more, smudging against your inner thigh every time he moves deeper, harder, sloppier.
The sheer filth of it makes you clench around nothing.
Sunghoon notices, because of course he does—because he’s been studying you this whole time, memorizing what makes you gasp, what makes your thighs tremble around his head. And he’s smug about it, too, because when he pulls back just enough to glance up at you, lips glistening, glasses just barely slipping down his nose, he smirks.
“You like that, don’t you?” His voice is raspy, breathless, wrecked.
You don’t even try to deny it. “Yes—God, yes, don’t stop.”
Sunghoon’s smirk deepens, and he doesn’t make you beg for it. He dives right back in, tongue flicking, sucking, his grip on your thighs tightening as you lose yourself completely. The drag of his glasses, the precise way he adjusts his angle to push you higher, the way he groans into you like he’s getting off on this just as much as you are—it’s too much.
The coil in your stomach snaps hard, pleasure crashing over you so intensely that you barely realize you’re pulling at his hair, moaning his name like a prayer, like you might fall apart completely if he stops.
Sunghoon doesn’t stop. Not right away. He works you through the aftershocks, his tongue slow, methodical, lazy in a way that makes you shudder from overstimulation. Only when your body twitches beneath him does he finally pull away, chin glistening, glasses fucking ruined.
You’re still gasping when he crawls back up your body, hovering over you, his mouth right there, his glasses so close you can see the way they’re fogged-up and smudged with sweat.
When you finally collapse beside each other, spent and satisfied, his glasses are askew once more. You reach over to straighten them, and he catches your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm.
"So," you say, when you've caught your breath, "should we tell Professor Clarke we've found an interesting correlation to study?"
Sunghoon laughs, the sound free and unrestrained in a way you hadn't heard before today. "I don't think this is what he had in mind for the assignment."
"His loss," you murmur, snuggling closer. "I'd say our statistical analysis was very... thorough."
"We should probably actually work on the project at some point," he says, but makes no move to get up.
"Tomorrow," you promise, running a finger along his jawline. "I think we need to collect more data first."
His eyebrow raises above the rim of his glasses. "For the sake of academic integrity?"
"Absolutely," you agree solemnly, before dissolving into laughter.
The statistics of probability have never been so compelling.
-
Over the next few weeks, your statistics class takes on an entirely new dimension. What was once your least favorite part of the week has become the highlight—not because you've suddenly developed a passion for data analysis, but because of the subtle dance that unfolds between you and Sunghoon twice a week in that computer lab.
The Monday after your "study session," you arrive to class five minutes early—a personal record. Sunghoon is already there, of course, and the moment he sees you, his ears turn slightly pink. When you slide into the seat next to him, now officially your spot, he gives you a small smile that feels like a secret.
"You're early," he says, his voice low enough that only you can hear.
"I had motivation," you reply, letting your knee brush against his under the desk.
His eyes flicker to your lips for a fraction of a second before returning to his notebook. "I hope it wasn't just for... statistical analysis."
"Depends on how you define statistics," you whisper just as Professor Clarke calls the class to order.
Throughout the lecture, you're acutely aware of every movement Sunghoon makes—how he adjusts his glasses when he's thinking, the precise way he takes notes, the occasional glance he throws your way when he thinks you're not looking. Halfway through class, you deliberately drop your pen between you. When you both reach for it, your fingers touch, and he doesn't pull away. Instead, he hooks his pinky finger over yours for just a moment before handing you the pen. The small gesture sends a flutter through your chest.
After class, you walk together to the coffee shop without needing to discuss it. Somehow, it's already become your routine.
"How's the dataset compilation going?" he asks as you find a small table in the corner.
"That's what you want to talk about right now? Really?" You raise an eyebrow.
A faint smile plays at his lips. "We do have a project due in three weeks."
"Always so responsible," you sigh dramatically, but there's fondness in your voice. "It's going fine. I've got the coffee consumption survey data from about fifty students so far."
He nods approvingly. "That's a decent sample size for our purposes."
When your drinks arrive—his Earl Grey and your excessively complicated latte—you notice something different about him. He's still quiet, still thoughtful, but there's a new ease to his movements, a softness around his eyes when he looks at you.
"What?" he asks, catching you studying him.
"Nothing," you say, then reconsider. "Actually, not nothing. You seem... different."
He takes a sip of his tea, considering. "I feel different," he admits after a moment. "With you."
The simple sincerity of his words catches you off guard. For all your flirtatious confidence, his straightforward honesty disarms you completely.
"Good different?" you ask, suddenly feeling shy.
"Very good different," he confirms, and beneath the table, his foot rests against yours. Not by accident.
By the third week, you've fallen into patterns that blend the academic with the intimate. Your Tuesday and Thursday afternoons are devoted to actual project work—usually in the library where the public setting keeps you reasonably focused.
Your Saturday “study sessions” in your dorm room are significantly less productive in the statistical sense, though you joke that you’re certainly collecting plenty of data on other variables.
Sunghoon rolls his eyes every time you say it, but you know he loves it—loves how eager, how shameless you are when it comes to him. Because every time you spread your legs for him, every time you drag him into another compromising position, he never tells you no.
Case Study #1: The Textbooks
It starts with an innocent enough setup—Sunghoon sitting cross-legged on the floor, back against your bed, flipping through a statistics textbook while you sit across from him, pretending to study. But it’s boring. He looks too good in his glasses, sleeves rolled up, the slightest furrow in his brow as he concentrates. And before you even realize you’re moving, you’re crawling into his lap, straddling him right there on top of the book.
He barely has time to exhale your name before you sink down onto him, making both of you groan.
The hardcover digs into your knees, the pages creasing beneath you, but you couldn’t care less. Sunghoon is buried inside you, stretching you open, warm and deep and perfect, and the only data you’re analyzing is how his breath stutters when you roll your hips just right.
“Fuck, you’re unreal—” he pants, hands gripping your waist, watching you through the slightly fogged lenses of his glasses as you use him, ride him slow, grind on him like you want to ruin him.
You do. You want to wreck him just as much as he’s wrecking you. The friction, the delicious drag, the way his hands squeeze your hips to urge you to go faster, harder—it all shreds your self-control.
By the time you both come undone, gasping and clinging to each other, the textbook beneath you is thoroughly creased, sticky, ruined. Neither of you even bother looking at it.
Case Study #2: The Desk Chair
Another Saturday, another useless attempt at studying.
Sunghoon’s seated at your desk this time, one leg lazily spread, hand bracing his forehead as he tries to focus. But you’re kneeling between his legs, and the moment you reach for his zipper, his entire body tenses.
“You’re insatiable.”
“And?” You tug his pants down just enough to free him, palming his length, watching him harden in your hand as his breathing turns shallow.
He leans back, exhaling sharply when your lips part and you take him deep. His hand finds the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair as you swirl your tongue around him, tease him, make him fall apart.
His glasses slip down his nose as he watches you, half-lidded and dazed, jaw slack as you take him deeper, sucking, hollowing your cheeks, making obscene little noises that drive him insane.
He trembles when he finally spills down your throat, groaning your name, head thrown back against the chair.
And the moment he catches his breath, he drags you into his lap, flips you onto the desk, and fucks you stupid.
Case Study #3: Against the Window
Another week. Another “study session.” Another location.
This time, you find yourself pressed against the glass of your dorm window, palms splayed, breath fogging the pane as Sunghoon pounds into you from behind.
The curtains are open.
You don’t know if anyone can see—if someone walking by on the street below can look up and spot your bare body, the lewd way you’re bent over, Sunghoon’s hands gripping your hips as he drives into you with punishing force.
But you don’t care.
All you care about is the way he grunts into your ear, his glasses slightly askew, one hand slipping down to rub your clit, making you jerk and gasp his name as pleasure crashes over you like a tidal wave.
“Keep your eyes open,” he growls, voice thick with lust, dragging his lips along your shoulder. “Look outside. Look at what a mess you are.”
Case Study #4: The Shower
It’s late, and you should be asleep. But instead, you’re pressed up against the tiled wall of your tiny dorm shower, water scalding hot, steam curling around you as Sunghoon lifts you up, holds you against him, and fucks you slow, deep.
His glasses are gone, finally.
They’d fogged up the moment he stepped into the shower, and the second you’d made a joke about it, he’d taken them off and set them on the sink. But you don’t miss them too much—not when his mouth is on your throat, sucking bruises into your wet skin, not when his fingers dig into your thighs, keeping you in place as he rolls his hips into you with exquisite precision.
You come twice before you finally stumble out of the shower, exhausted, dripping, completely spent.
And the moment you walk back into your dorm room, still naked, Sunghoon picks up his glasses, slides them back on, and gives you a look that tells you he’s nowhere near finished with you.
Case Study #5: The Floor (Again, Because You Can’t Stop)
At this point, you don’t even make it to the bed.
You’re both desperate, panting, **clawing at each other like you can’t stand the idea of being apart for another second.**The moment Sunghoon pushes you onto the floor, you’re already wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him down, gasping when he fills you in one smooth thrust.
It’s fast, dirty, messy.
He grits out your name, one hand bracing beside your head, the other gripping your thigh, holding you open as he slams into you, pace brutal, relentless. The carpet burns on your back will be worth it.
He loses his glasses at some point, but you don’t even notice—you’re too busy coming apart beneath him, clawing at his back, moaning his name like you’ll never get enough of him.
Maybe you won’t.
Because the second you catch your breath, still tangled up in him, you’re already thinking about where you’ll fuck next.
What surprises you most is how much you enjoy both versions of your time together. The project, which should be tedious, becomes engaging through Sunghoon's perspective. He has a way of finding patterns in chaos that makes even the driest data seem fascinating. And through your influence, he's learning to approach problems more creatively, to see beyond the rigid frameworks he's always relied on.
"What if we visualize it this way instead?" you suggest one Tuesday, sketching a completely unorthodox chart on the margin of his meticulously organized notes.
His initial reaction is skepticism—you can see it in the slight furrow of his brow—but he considers it longer than he would have three weeks ago.
"It's unconventional," he says finally.
"But?"
"But it might actually work better for presenting the correlation," he concedes, and the smile you give him is so bright it makes the student at the next table look over.
In class, Professor Clarke notices the change in both of you. Your questions become more insightful, Sunghoon's responses more animated. When you present your initial findings mid-semester, the professor actually seems impressed by your unusual approach to visualization.
"An interesting methodology," he comments, adjusting his own glasses in a way that reminds you of Sunghoon. "Unorthodox, but effective."
You beam at Sunghoon, who ducks his head slightly but can't hide his pleased expression.
After class, he catches your hand as you're packing up—a gesture he would never have initiated before.
"We make a good team," he says quietly.
"The best," you agree, squeezing his fingers before reluctantly letting go. Public displays still make him slightly uncomfortable, and you respect his boundaries.
-
It's during a rainy Friday evening in your dorm room, six weeks into your relationship (though neither of you has officially labeled it as such), that something shifts again.
You're sprawled on your bed with your laptop, Sunghoon sitting at your desk reviewing your latest statistical findings, his glasses reflecting the blue light of the screen. Classical music plays softly from his phone—another new development. He's been gradually introducing you to his favorite composers, and you've found you actually enjoy the background music while working.
"Your scatterplot is missing a data point," he says, turning to look at you.
"Mmm, probably deleted it accidentally," you reply, not looking up from your position. "Is it important?"
"All data points are important," he says, but there's amusement in his voice rather than criticism.
You roll onto your back, laptop balanced on your stomach. "That sounds like something that would be on a statistics department t-shirt. 'All data points matter.'"
He laughs—a sound that's become less rare but no less thrilling to hear. "I'd wear it."
"Of course you would," you tease. "With your glasses and a pocket protector."
He makes a face at you. "I don't own a pocket protector."
"Yet," you add with a grin.
He shakes his head, turning back to the screen, but you catch the smile he tries to hide. After a moment, he speaks again without looking at you.
"My parents want to meet you."
You sit up so quickly your laptop nearly slides off your stomach. "What?"
Now he turns, his expression a mixture of nervousness and something softer. "I mentioned you during our weekly call. Multiple times, apparently. My mother... noticed."
"You talk about me to your parents?" You can't keep the pleased surprise from your voice.
He adjusts his glasses, a gesture you now recognize as his tell when he's feeling vulnerable. "It seems I do."
"What do you tell them?" You set your laptop aside, giving him your full attention.
"That you're brilliant in ways I'm not. That you see solutions I miss." He pauses. "That you make statistics class the best part of my week."
Your heart does that skipping thing it did the first day Professor Clarke paired you together, only stronger now.
"Sunghoon Park," you say softly, "are you saying I'm statistically significant to you?"
His expression turns serious, though his eyes remain gentle. "With a p-value approaching zero," he replies, and though it's phrased as a joke, his tone makes it clear it's anything but.
In statistics, a p-value approaching zero indicates an extremely high likelihood that an observed effect is real and not due to chance. It's the closest thing to certainty that statistics allows.
You cross the room to where he sits, gently taking his face between your hands. His glasses are slightly smudged, and you resist the urge to clean them, focusing instead on the eyes behind them.
"So," you say, "when do I meet these parents who raised such a statistically significant nerd?"
He laughs, pulling you into his lap in a move that would have seemed impossibly bold from him just weeks ago. "They're visiting next weekend. Dinner on Saturday?"
"I'm there," you promise, sealing it with a kiss.
-
The day of your semester project presentation arrives with an unexpected lack of anxiety. You're prepared—more prepared than you've been for any academic presentation in your life. Partly because the subject has actually become interesting to you, but mostly because working on it meant spending hours with Sunghoon.
You stand beside him at the front of the class, watching him explain your methodology with a confidence that wasn't there at the beginning of the semester. His voice is still quiet, still measured, but there's a strength behind it now, an assurance that comes from truly understanding his material. When he gestures to your creative visualization on the screen, there's a hint of pride in his voice that makes your chest warm.
When it's your turn to present, you catch him watching you with undisguised admiration. You explain the correlations you found between different types of coffee consumption and various academic performance metrics, throwing in jokes that make the class laugh and complex statistical terms that make Professor Clarke nod approvingly.
"And in conclusion," you finish, "we found that while caffeine consumption generally correlates with improved academic performance up to a point, the type of environment in which the coffee is consumed may be an equally significant factor."
"Furthermore," Sunghoon adds, stepping forward to stand beside you, shoulder to shoulder, "we discovered that the companionship variable—whether students studied alone or with others—showed the strongest positive correlation with both satisfaction and performance outcomes."
His eyes meet yours for a brief moment, and you know he's not just talking about the data anymore.
When Professor Clarke gives your presentation an A and commends your "complementary analytical approaches," you resist the urge to high-five Sunghoon in front of everyone. Instead, you wait until you're outside the building, then throw your arms around him in celebration.
To your surprise, he lifts you slightly off the ground in his enthusiasm, spinning once before setting you down, his face flushed with excitement and mild embarrassment at his own uncharacteristic display.
"We did it," he says, adjusting his glasses which were knocked askew by your hug.
"Was there ever any doubt?" you reply, reaching up to straighten them properly. "We're statistically significant, remember?"
His smile softens, and right there on the path outside the statistics building, with students streaming past on their way to other classes, he kisses you without hesitation or self-consciousness.
"What was that for?" you ask when he pulls away, delighted but surprised by the public display.
"I've been collecting data," he says, his eyes crinkling behind those glasses you've grown to love, "and I've formed a hypothesis."
"Oh?" You raise an eyebrow. "And what hypothesis is that, Mr. Park?"
He takes your hand, lacing his fingers through yours as you begin walking toward the coffee shop that's become your place.
"That I'm in love with you," he says simply. "And unlike most statistical conclusions, I'm one hundred percent certain."
You stop walking, turning to face him fully. "That's a bold statistical claim. Absolute certainty is rare in your field."
"I have compelling evidence," he counters, and the confidence in his voice, so different from the hesitant student you met months ago, makes your heart race.
"I might need to review your data," you tease, though your voice catches slightly.
"Extensive observation over time," he begins, stepping closer. "Consistent results across multiple variables. Reproducible effects." His voice drops lower. "Significant positive impact on all quality-of-life metrics."
"Very scientific," you murmur, your hands finding their way to his chest.
"I thought so," he agrees, his eyes serious despite the playful exchange. "So my conclusion stands."
You rise on your tiptoes, pressing your forehead to his. "Well, as someone who's conducted a parallel study, I can confirm your findings. The evidence suggests I'm in love with you too."
His smile, rare and full, lights up his entire face. "Independently verified results. The best kind."
“Should we celebrate this breakthrough with coffee?” you suggest, already knowing his answer.
“I was thinking maybe we skip the coffee today,” he says, surprising you again. “I have other hypotheses I’d like to test.”
“Professor Clarke would be shocked at your dedication to statistical research,” you laugh, letting him lead you in the direction of your dorm instead of the coffee shop.
“Some variables,” he says with newfound confidence, “are worth studying in depth.”
You lean in close, pressing your lips right against the shell of his ear, and whisper the kind of filth that would make even the most shameless person blush.
“Then why don’t you pin me down the second we walk through that door, shove your face between my legs, and eat me so fucking good I forget my own name? And when I can’t take anymore, you’ll flip me over and fuck me like you’re trying to imprint yourself inside me—deep, rough, until I’m crying and drooling on the sheets, too dumb to do anything but take it.”
Sunghoon stops breathing.
You feel the exact moment your words hit him—his entire body locks up, his grip on your wrist tightens, his jaw clenches so hard you swear you hear his teeth grind.
His glasses fog immediately.
A strangled noise escapes him, something between a curse and a choked groan, and then he’s moving.
Not just moving—dragging you, fast, purposeful, like a man on a mission.
“Fucking hell,” he mutters under his breath, voice wrecked, dangerous, and it sends a thrill straight through you.
By the time you reach your dorm, he’s already reaching for the door handle, barely keeping himself together, and the second it clicks shut behind you—
You know he’s about to make good on every single word you just whispered.
That, by any metric, was statistically significant indeed.
-
TL: @ziiao @beariegyu @seonhoon @somuchdard @naurwayyyyy @bloomiize @zzhengyu @annybah @ijustwannareadstuff20 @ddolleri @elairah @dreamy-carat @geniejunn @kristynaaah @zoemeltigloos @mellowgalaxystrawberry @inlovewithningning @vveebee @m3wkledreamy @lovelycassy @highway-143 @koizekomi @tiny-shiny @simbabyikeu @cristy-101 @dearestdreamies @enhaverse713586 @cybe4 @starniras @wonuziex
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fanfic#enhypen imagines#enhypen smau#enhypen au#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#park sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon fluff#park sunghoon smut#enhypen smut#sunghoon x you#sunghoon x y/n#sunghoon smut#sunghoon#park sunghoon#sunghoon fic#enhypen fake texts#sunghoon enhypen#sunghoon fanfic#enhaflixer: hard hours
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➳ THE SOUND OF HEARTBREAK — S.R

to nav 𓇙 to s.r mlist
spencer reid x soft!bimbo!reader
in which, for all your love, you just can’t compare to the most beautiful girl in the world
wc: 13.5k (woah)
warnings: post maeve arc (so spoilers for 8×10 - 8×12), heavy angst, but so so much love and fluff before it! im picturing this taking place between s8 and s9 lol. also some of the bau aren’t like. super nice in this one soz :/
a/n: don’t stress abt the ending too much bc im already planning a part two (tbh a whole saga around these two icl). also yeah if u can’t tell, i don’t really like maeve im so sorry. i don’t think i do her any injustice here but this is like. me fixing stuff. sorta. kinda. not really. mostly just painfully. :,) also omg reblogs?! best part of my day fr
“Just as one day we will be separated by my death or yours. I know this must seem like a heaping up of obscurities to you. I can't say it in a more orderly and comprehensible way. I love you wildly, insanely, infinitely.” -Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago.
The living room is quiet.
Spencer’s apartment is always quiet, peaceful, warm. How could it not be, surrounded by books you’d never heard of, shelves that reach the ceiling and lined edge-to-edge with copies of novels that are older than you, in languages you can’t begin to comprehend?
The chess table is still set up, mid-game, from where Spencer had been teaching you how to play the other day. He’d gotten a call from his boss that he had to come in, and Spencer had stared at the board for no more than a moment before saying you could continue once he was back, then he pressed a kiss to the space between your eyebrows—your glabella, as he had once mentioned—before rushing out the door.
It still feels strange, being in his apartment without him here. But he had called you from the jet on his way back, and asked if you’d be home when he got back. He sounded so sleepy, so sweet, you couldn’t help the murmur of assent from spilling from your lips.
He’d only given you a key a week ago, and you were beyond shocked when he had pressed it into your hand, the metal digging into your palm. This, between you, was still so new, so young. But he’d assured you that he trusted you, that he always wanted you around, that you having a key to his home wasn’t a matter of if, only when, and he’d prefer not to waste unnecessary time.
It’s late when the door opens.
Spencer is quiet when he enters, expecting to see you either curled up on his couch or lying asleep in his bed, but instead, you’re standing at one of his bookshelves, your hand outstretched to reach at the higher shelves.
He’s a bit surprised. The top three shelves on that unit are all foreign novels, ones he’s collected from his youth. Latin, German, Russian, Korean, and even a couple of thick Spanish texts that he used mostly to continue learning the language.
You’re silent, not even turning your head to acknowledge his presence, and Spencer wonders if you’ve even heard the door at all.
“Angel?” he prompts, causing your head to whip to the left so quickly he’s momentarily concerned you’ve given yourself whiplash. You tear yourself away from the shelf immediately, like the surface itself has burned you, and Spencer pauses. “You okay? You didn’t even hear me come in.”
You just nod, jerkily, tucking your lower lip between your teeth. “I was just looking,” you tilt your head to the shelf and shrug, pulling the sleeves of your sweater over your hands and crossing your arms over your chest. “Sorry.”
Spencer shakes his head, hanging up his messenger bag and coat on the hook by the door. “You don’t need to apologize,” he says, coming closer to you. “Are you curious about them? You can borrow a few, if you want.” He sits on the couch carefully, like he knows there’s something you’re not saying.
You shake your head with a sigh, glancing back over at his stacks of novels. “That’s alright, Spence.” He pats the cushion next to him and you seat yourself slowly onto the cool leather, crossing your legs under yourself. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’d get it anyway.”
Spencer furrows his brows. “I’m sure you would, actually. There’s no reason why you couldn’t, unless it was a language you don’t understand. But even then,” he tilts his head, scooching ever so slightly closer to you. “I can still read them to you.”
You sigh softly. “I know, honey. You know I love it when you read to me,” the corner of your lips twitch up, and it makes a slow grin pull at Spencer’s cheeks. “How was the case, anyway?”
Spencer shrugs. “Fine, as usual. It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway.” He rests his arm over the back of the couch, a silent beckon for you to curl into him like usual. “I’m home now. With you,” he presses the softest of kisses to your hairline. “Are you tired?”
You shake your head, “Not really. I’m sure you are, though. Want me to start the kettle?” Spencer can’t help the nod—he is tired. Exhausted, even. You just smile at him before standing and padding to the kitchen and turning on the stove, setting the metal kettle on the burner.
He hears the cabinets open and the sound of ceramic being placed on granite. You’re quietly humming to yourself, and Spencer closes his eyes. It’s nice, so domestic in a way he hadn’t expected. You peek your head around the corner for a moment. “Lavender or peppermint?”
He smiles, all warm and soft. “Lavender, please.”
You nod once, your head hiding behind the wall again before you peek back out. “Maybe take a shower, honey. It’ll help you relax, y’know,” you grin, teasing at him. “The tea’ll be done when you are.”
Spencer’s eyes crinkle as he chuckles, watching you turn back to the kitchen. He stands with a sigh before heading into his bedroom to grab pyjamas and a towel, then into the bathroom where he leaves the door open, just a crack.
You take the kettle off the burner before it has a chance to whistle, not wanting to disturb this quiet, peaceful comfort that has settled into the cozy warmth of your boyfriend’s apartment. You make his tea exactly how he likes it; black, with no less than four sugars.
You hear the water from the shower shut off just as you’re bringing the mugs to the coffee table—on coasters, cute little pastel ceramic ones shaped like fruit slices. You’d bought them at a flea market downtown years ago, and when you saw that he didn’t have any, despite all the coffee and tea he drinks, you didn’t hesitate to bring them over.
They might look slightly out of place in this warm, cozy place, but, well… Maybe you have that in common.
The bedroom door creaks open before you have the chance to spiral too far. Spencer emerges in a loose-fitting MIT tee and sweatpants. He meanders slowly to the couch before flopping down and grabbing his mug—his usual one, with “think like a proton, they’re always positive!” faded on the side. It’s starting to chip, but he got it for free at a physics convention in Anaheim back when he attended Caltech, and it’s been a memento since.
He smiles as he picks it up off the bright coaster before looking at you. He nods towards the bookshelf you were staring at earlier. “Can you grab that red one for me, angel?” he gestures to a large leather-bound hardcover on the second shelf.
You nod and reach up to grab it. It’s heavier than you’d expected, but you take it to the couch before curling into Spencer’s side.
This has become routine every night you spend here. You make tea, and Spencer reads to you on the couch until you’re either both passed out or too tired to continue, before heading to bed.
You get comfortable, pulling your knees to your chest as he covers you both with the plush throw blanket he keeps on the back of the couch. Spencer clears his throat before starting to read, flipping to some random page in the middle of the book. You don’t question it, just close your eyes and rest your head on his chest.
His voice is low, quiet as he begins to read. You’ve already begun to drift off by the time you start to register the words he’s saying. They’re not from anything he’s ever read to you before.
“I felt a mortal pity for the boy I was, and still more pity for the girl you were. My whole being was astonished and asked: If it’s so painful to love and absorb electricity, how much more painful it is to be a woman, to be the electricity, to inspire love. ‘Here at last I’ve spoken it out. It could make you lose your mind. And the whole of me is in it.’”
You sit up, peering at the pages that Spencer’s eyes are trained on. You can’t hold back the way your breath catches.
“Spence, what is this?” Your brows furrow as you sit up fully, removing yourself from the warmth of his embrace. You wrap the throw blanket around your shoulders tightly.
He glances up from the book. “Doctor Zhivago,” he says simply, as if that explains everything. At your slightly raised brows, he continues. “It’s a Russian romantic novel by poet and composer Boris Pasternak. It was first published in 1957, and—”
“No, I mean, what is that?” You shake your head, pointing at the page.
Spencer’s brow furrows. “The language? This is Cyrillic. It’s the Russian alphabet, and—”
You cut him off again. “I know what Cyrillic is, Spencer.” You can’t hide the bite in your voice. “I meant, what- how- why are you reading it in Russian?”
He shrugs, closing the cover softly. “I have both the original Russian and the English translation, but I prefer this version. The translation makes it clunky, it doesn’t get the tone quite right.”
You just blink at him. “I didn’t know you spoke Russian,” you whisper, curling deeper into the blanket. You hate this, the feeling of inadequacy that comes so frequently from being with a man like Dr. Spencer Reid.
He sets the book down on the coffee table. “I don't, actually. I can read it, though.” He glances sidelong at you. “Is that… a bad thing?”
You shake your head, finally looking at him. “No, of course not, honey. I just,” you sigh. “I don’t know. I feel like I can’t keep up with you sometimes.”
All the time.
Spencer purses his lips. “Well, I don’t need you to. Frankly, I don’t really want you to.”
And that gives you pause. “Really?”
He nods, reaching for you, and you allow him to cradle you in his lap again. “Really. This might come as a bit of a surprise, angel,” he grins, “but I do like you.”
Your face goes warm. You press your cheek into his chest. “I know.” It’s quiet, a murmur, a whisper.
Spencer presses a feather-light kiss to your head. It’s late and quiet and calm, and you’re so warm, cuddled into him and under this plush blanket, that it takes no time at all until you’re fast asleep.
The sun wakes you before you’re quite ready, the bright rays shining on your face.
You’re still curled into Spencer’s chest, his legs stretched out along the length of the couch, whereas you know it’ll hurt to stand after having your knees tucked up all night. The blanket is still wrapped around you, the warmth more suffocating than comforting now, but the weight of his arm slung around your waist is a welcome one.
You peer your head up to look at him, to take him in, in this peaceful state of relaxation. You love this part, when you wake before him and he doesn’t turn his face away when you admire him.
His face is smushed into the throw pillow, his hair wild and messy, thrown every which way like a halo around his head. He’s snoring so softly you can barely hear it, but you do, because there’s nothing about this man you can’t notice.
You try to ignore the tug in your chest. It almost hurts. He looks so peaceful and happy and loved, so relaxed in this sleepy state of the early morning. You almost feel guilty for the thoughts that run wild in your head. How is this real? How is he real? How the hell do you fit into this world—his world—full of chess and tea and comfort and Russian poetry and genius minds?
But then he stirs, and his arm instinctively tightens its hold on your waist, his large hand splaying out over your back. He stretches slightly and, before he even opens his eyes, there’s a smile on his lips.
“Morning, angel.”
Your heart stutters wildly in your chest. You almost feel like bursting into tears right there, collapsing into his chest and letting him comfort you in that way you know he will. But you swallow it back. Just smile at the dopey look on his face, his eyes still shut.
You press the softest of kisses to his cheek, and maybe it’s your mind, but you swear he looks confused for a moment, his brows pulling together as he inhales, his nose at your neck.
It’s your mind. It has to be; your feelings of inadequacy are making you paranoid. “How’d you sleep, baby?” you murmur, your lips brushing his cheek before you pull away.
Then he opens his eyes, his honey-brown irises taking you in so sweetly, scanning over your face as a soft smile overtakes his lips. “Best sleep I’ve gotten in a long while,” he grins, pressing a peck at your lips. “Do you want any coffee?”
You nod, allowing him to crawl out from under you and stand from the couch. He pads into the kitchen, leaving you with your mugs from last night and the red leather hardcover of Doctor Zhivago. You soften immediately. Spencer was reading you poetry. He’d never done that before, read anything romantic. Usually, he read something you were at least familiar with, the classics, stuff you somewhat remember reading in high school. But this warms your heart so much you swear it’ll melt right there in your chest, drip down your ribs like sticky-sweet honey.
You stand, stretching out your legs, and pick up the mugs before bringing them to the kitchen. Spencer’s standing at the counter, his back to you, his hands bracing the edge of the counter. You set the mugs down in the sink and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your cheek on his back. “You okay, honey?”
Spencer nods, placing his hands over yours where they lay on his front. “I’m fine, angel. You can leave the mugs, I’ll wash them. Did you want to shower?”
You hum, pulling away from the hug but maintaining your hold on his hand. “Sure. Did you wanna join me?” you grin, “y’know, save water, and all that?”
Spencer’s neck flushes red, and he swallows harshly. “Not right now, sweetheart. But go ahead, take your time.” He gives your palm a squeeze when you pout. “Your coffee will be done by the time you’re back, and I don’t have to go in to work. Not unless I get a call.” He smiles when your face brightens. “So we’ll have the day, okay?”
You nod, a grin wide across your lips before you’re bouncing off to his bedroom. He hears the shower turn on a moment later, and he sighs heavily as he turns on the sink to wash the mugs.
Spencer can’t stop the quirk of his lips as he stares at your mug for a moment—a cute, bright pink one, tapered at the top like an upside-down strawberry. He takes extra care as he washes it, making sure to get soapy water around all of the molded leaves and seeds.
He exhales as he sets it aside. Runs a damp hand down his face. He needs to collect himself, but god, it’s so hard when he swears she’s hovering over his shoulder.
Spencer’s reading silently on the couch, sipping at the last bit of coffee in his mug. You’re on the other end, scrolling absently on your phone as you set your strawberry mug onto an orange slice coaster. You glance over at him, and you soften. “Spence?”
He hums, looking up at you. You’re lost looking into his eyes. He’s wearing glasses today, his thick browline ones that frame his face just right, and you wonder why he wears contacts so often. Why he doesn’t let himself look like this more frequently. He looks stunning in spectacles. “Angel?”
You blink at his prompting. “I was just wondering,” you shrug, glancing over your shoulder at the chess table behind you. “Did you want to continue?”
Spencer lets a smile slowly overtake his cheeks. He nods, setting down his mug onto a pink grapefruit slice coaster. “If you want, sure.” At your assent, he stands, holding out a hand.
Your cheeks flush with warmth as he helps you stand from the couch. You follow him to the table before seating yourself in the same seat as a week ago, staring at the pieces in concentration.
He smiles. “Do you remember where we left off? You nod, and he moves his rook up two places.
Your hand hovers over your knight, then your queen, almost shaking with uncertainty. Spencer watches you, his eyes soft but calculating, patiently waiting for your next move. You rest your fingers over a pawn and move it up one space with resignation.
“You know, angel,” Spencer says softly, all gentle comfort. “It’s not about making the perfect move. It’s about thinking a few steps ahead, but also,” he moves his rook up and takes the pawn you’d just moved, setting it to the side. “Trusting your instincts. You’ve got this,” he smiles so warmly at you, so reassuring. You still feel the slightest twinge of frustration and embarrassment.
Chess doesn’t come naturally to you, but you’re determined to figure it out. For him.
You bite your lip, glancing over the board. You’re sure his comment about trusting your instincts has something to do with the way you’d hesitated, but you’re still so confused about what to do. You glance up at Spencer again, his eyes fixed on the board, his hands gently tapping at the edge of the table.
“What should I do with my queen?” you ask, a little hesitant. “I feel like she’s… I don’t know. Not doing much.” God, how do you stop feeling so stupid about this?
Spencer just smiles, that warm, gentle expression that makes you feel like you’re the only one in the room. “That’s okay, sweetheart. Remember, your queen can move in any direction. Horizontal, vertical, or diagonal, but only as long as nothing is blocking her path. She’s powerful. You have to decide how to use her.”
You nod slowly, trying to picture it in your head. “So… I can go anywhere? Like, here?” you ask, pointing to a spot near his king.
“Exactly,” he says, his voice steady, his gaze never leaving the board. “But you’ll want to think about what happens after you move her. Like, does it leave you open to being attacked? Does it bring you closer to checkmate?”
You inhale shakily, trying to digest it all as you nod, but it’s a lot to process. You take a deep breath. You can do this. You look down at the board, then back at him, his gaze still so patient. “What if I mess up?” you ask softly, unable to hide the shyness in your voice, your tone full of the nervous doubt you try to push down.
Spencer chuckles gently. “You won’t mess up, angel. Even if you do, it’s just part of learning. I’m not going anywhere,” he smiles. “You’re doing great.”
His words warm you more than the mug of coffee you’d just finished, and you feel that familiar flutter in your chest. You allow yourself a small, shy grin before focusing on the board again. You move your queen exactly as he described, cautiously placing her diagonally across the board.
Spencer’s eyes light up a little, and his smile widens. “See? That’s the right move. You’re getting it. You’re really good at this,” and oh, how your chest positively aches at the pride in his expression.
Your heart skips a beat at his compliment, like it always does, and you let out a soft giggle. “I’m not that good, Spence,” you reply, trying to play it off.
He shakes his head, and you can see the admiration in his eyes. “You’re more natural at this than you think, trust me. Just keep practicing.” You sit back, watching him move a piece, and then he looks up at you, tilting his head. “It’s all about finding balance—taking risks, but also knowing when to protect what matters. Just like life.”
You blink at him, a little stunned by the way his words feel. Just like life? Maybe that’s what this whole chess thing is about—finding a way to balance your moves, even when things feel a little uncertain. Even when you’re just learning.
And then Spencer laughs softly, snapping you out of your thoughts. “You look so lost in thought, angel. Am I being too deep or introspective?” He gently pushes his glasses up his nose from where they’ve begun to slip down the slope of it.
You shake your head quickly, your heart racing as his eyes meet yours. “No, no! Not at all! I’m just thinking about how much you know.” You move your knight in an L-shape, like he taught you, and if the twinkle in his eye is any indication, you’ve made a good move. “Like, it’s crazy. You make it all sound so easy.”
Spencer just shrugs modestly, then picks up his rook and moves it up. “It’s just about seeing the whole board. Everyone has their own way of learning. Yours just happens to be different.” His eyes soften as he looks at you, and you feel your heart tug. “And I think that’s what makes you special.”
You bite down on your lip, trying to focus on the game again, but his words are ringing in your ears, making everything feel like it’s a little too perfect. The fact that he’s teaching you, patiently guiding you through something new, something you want to learn for him, feels so intimate.
You try to steady your breath as you make your next move, feeling your fingers brush against his as you capture his bishop. It’s a brief touch, but it makes your heart race. You chance a peek at him, and oh. His smile is so impossibly bright. You clear your throat and continue, tucking his bishop onto the table beside the board.
You’ve got this.
It's mid-afternoon when you pipe up again. “Y’know, the weather’s really nice today, Spence.”
He looks up from his book, honey-brown eyes tracing your nose from where you’re curled under his arm. “Yeah, I saw. It’s supposed to be pretty temperate until next week; then the rain is supposed to hit.” He lifts his arm from your shoulders and tenderly traces his knuckle down your jaw. “Did you want to go out?”
You shrug lamely, going shy and warm under his gentle gaze. “I don’t know, I guess, yeah. It’s really warm out.” Your eyes lock onto his. “I think we could go to the park or something?”
Spencer smiles, his hand gently gripping your chin as he presses a soft kiss to your lips. “That sounds great, sweetheart.” He stands, and pulls you up with him. He crouches to help you slip on your running shoes and ties the laces. You can’t tear your eyes from his lithe, slender fingers working the laces and, oh. Your heart beats wildly in your chest.
He stands and slings his messenger bag over his shoulder before grabbing his keys with one hand and yours with the other.
His fingers intertwine with yours, and you flush with warmth. He smiles at you as he leads you out of his apartment, locking the door with one hand before you head downstairs.
It’s warm and breezy, the air a perfect 75° outside, the wind just soft enough to sweep at your hair without messing it up. Spencer’s hand is still tangled with yours, and you can’t keep the smile off your face as he goes on some tangent about the differences between mallards and pintail ducks, because you’d just passed a pond and wondered why they looked so different.
You wish you were focusing, but god, you’re lost. So incredibly lost. Staring at his side profile, his brows raising and furrowing, his nose scrunching in that perfect way that makes you just want to bite it. He’s so animated, so enthusiastic about this, it’s a bit staggering.
You don't know when it happened, but now, looking up at him in this dreamy way, like he’s hardly real, like you’ve invented him to cover up the hurt from the meanness of those in your past, you’re sure of it.
You’re in love.
Somewhere between the way he reads to you and teaches you chess with all the patience in the world, between the way he remembers how you always take your coffee and kisses you first thing in the morning, between his warm linen sheets and the dusty scent of his books, you’ve fallen totally, completely in love.
And you don’t know why that invokes so much fear within you. Isn’t it a good thing, to fall in love with your boyfriend? To love him so wholly, so deeply, you aspire to learn the things he loves? To yearn for sameness, to relate to him, to keep up with his statistical rants about anything from the decline of leather-bound novels to the likelihood of walking past a serial killer without ever knowing it?
And then he looks down at you, notices the wistful, faraway look in your eyes as you just stare at him, and all he can do is laugh. He pulls you ever closer, pushes your hair back, and kisses your temple, and you positively melt. He’s so gentle with you, it almost hurts.
Then he’s tugging at your hand, and you look away from him for the first time since you arrived at the park. There’s a couple of tents set up along the path further ahead, and even though you groan through a laugh, Spencer looks so giddy, so excited, you can’t even think about ruining that. So you go along with him, his hand gently tugging at yours, before he stops at one tent towards the end.
Jewellry.
Spencer takes a while looking down at the display, before he picks up a simple gold necklace, a modest, tiny pink gemstone hanging off the chain. Spencer doesn’t hesitate before asking how much and pulling a twenty from his wallet.
You can’t tear your eyes from him. You feel like you haven’t so much as blinked in the last three minutes.
Spencer turns to you, the necklace hanging from his hand like it’s nothing more than a silly little trinket, and maybe it is. It’s probably some cheap, knockoff thing that’ll tarnish in a week, something that he paid far too much for, and you’re sure he knows that.
But he’s standing in front of you, holding it out with the sweetest, gentlest, most open expression you’ve ever seen on him.
And for that? The necklace might as well be twenty-four-carat gold and diamond-encrusted.
You blink at him, your brows furrowing upwards and eyes wide like a doe. “Do you want me to wear it?” you ask, sheepish and small and looking up at him like you’d give him the very earth itself if you could.
Spencer just smiles, all soft and warm and good. “I got it for you.” He shrugs, like this is nothing. Like it's casual and not like he’s holding your heart in his fist, like you trust him enough to not throttle it. “You can do whatever you want with it, angel.”
And, oh.
This is love. You’re certain of it. You’re so lost in the warmth of his eyes, the love pounding against your chest, that you don’t even notice the way he goes quiet, rigid, no longer looking at you, but through you. Like he heard something he wasn’t supposed to.
“Can you put it on me?”
Your soft voice breaks him from his trance, and immediately, the warmth returns to his gaze, his smile comes back so quickly it’s almost as if it never left. He nods, gently turning you around, and you pull your hair away from your neck.
Spencer is slow, reverent, as he drapes the chain around your neck. Careful as he clasps it. He even bends enough to press a soft, almost intangible kiss to your nape before stepping away.
And when you turn around, dropping your hair? Your palms go to his cheeks, clasping him like something precious between your hands, and you kiss him with all the love in the world.
All the love you’ve left unsaid.
You’re barely back inside his apartment when Spencer’s phone buzzes from its place in his bag.
You haven’t stopped toying with your necklace since he put it on you. The charm is almost glued to your fingers now; you’re unable to stop messing with it on your neck. It’s something so simple, but it feels like something more. Like something meaningful.
You’ve already seated yourself on his couch when he comes and plops beside you, a new, brighter grin on his face. “What was that, baby?” you ask softly, watching as he sets his phone face down on the coffee table.
“That was Garcia,” he smiles. “She invited us for drinks at Porter’s tonight.”
You blink. “She invited us, or she invited you?”
Spencer pauses, his hand momentarily ceasing its ministrations on your shoulder. “I mean, she invited me, and the team. But,” he sighs, turning to face you fully. “But, I think it would be nice. Introducing you to them.”
You inhale softly. “You sure? You don’t think it’s, like,” you glance down at your lap. “Too early?”
He shakes his head, his hand gently hooking under your chin to tilt your face up so he can look at you properly. “Angel, you already have a key to my place. I don’t think anything is ‘too early’ anymore.” His head tilts. “If you’re not ready to meet them, you know I wouldn’t force you to, right?” At your nod, he continues. “I would like for you to meet them. Really. They’re really important to me, and so are you. But if you don’t think you’re ready, or if you don’t want to, you don’t have to come. Or, I can stay home.”
Your eyes go wide, doelike and soft. Where on earth did this perfect man come from?
“Las Vegas,” he murmurs. You blink at him. He simply grins. “And I’m not perfect, sweetheart,” he turns bashful, his thumb gentle as it caresses your jaw.
“You’re so good,” you whisper, a whine in your voice. “Why- how are you so good?” You can’t help the tears that fill your waterline now, and Spencer immediately cradles you to his chest.
He shushes you softly. “I’m just normal, angel. I promise,” he chuckles. “I’m not doing anything that you don’t deserve.”
You sob impossibly harder.
“I would love to meet your friends, honey,” you pull away, your mascara smeared down your cheeks. Spencer’s hand comes up to cup your jaw, his thumb lightly brushing away the black smears from your skin like he’s doing something holy. Like he’s done it before, like he’d do it a thousand more times if you asked.
“You sure?” he whispers, careful, like if he speaks too loud this—you—might disappear. Like this is all some vivid dream he’s not quite convinced he deserves to wake up into.
You nod, just once. A little wobbly, but firm. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure, Spence.” Your fingers tug at the chain around your neck, the clasp digging gently into your skin. It stings, just a little. Just enough to feel real. To remind you, he gave it to you. Just today. That it means something. That Spencer is different.
“They’ll love you,” he smiles. He sounds so certain it almost breaks you in half. “I know they will.” You want to believe him. You want to let that live in your chest and take root. Because you’re not sure of much, really, but this? What you feel? It’s real. You know it’s real.
When he presses a kiss to your mascara-stained cheek, you close your eyes. Take it in. Take him in. He pulls away, looking at you warmly, openly, lovingly. “You can wear whatever you want. You don’t have to dress up,” he stands, his hand still warm where it’s clasped in yours. “We’re just going to a bar, and most of them are going straight from work.”
And maybe that’s exactly why you do want to dress up. You love Spencer. You want to make a good impression on his friends, his team, the people who keep him safe when he’s across the country chasing killers. Because you’re not just trying to impress them. You’re trying to seem enough.
In his bedroom, the light hangs low and golden and warm. Your dress hangs off your shoulders, and your hands tremble just slightly as you smooth it down again.
Spencer stands behind you, zipping you up with quiet hands and a look that could positively undo you. His touch settles at your hips, warm and grounding and real.
You study your reflection. “Is this okay, baby?” You catch his eyes in the mirror. Your voice is barely above a whisper, and you hate how small it sounds. How unsure. You can’t hide the way it trembles, the nerves that show through.
Spencer’s hands slide to your arms, trailing a path of fire before they cover your wrists, holding them steady. “Angel,” he whispers, turning you around gently. He looks at you like you’re an oasis in the middle of the driest of deserts. “You look beautiful.” He kisses you softly, tenderly. “I promise, they’re gonna love you. Please stop worrying.” His lips find that space between your eyebrows again, your glabella.
You know it means it. And that’s the worst part.
You’re still not used to someone holding you so closely, so gently, without an ounce of malice, of annoyance, of condescension.
You exhale shakily. You move your hands to the lapels of his blazer. Then to the knot of his tie. Then, finally resting them on his cheeks. Your eyes dart around his face, studying him like you haven’t already memorized the slope of his nose, the pink of his lips, the honey-brown warmth of his eyes.
Just in case. There’s a sinking in your gut you can’t explain. Let me remember you, it says, just in case.
“Thank you, honey.” You kiss him again, and when one of his hands finds the back of your head, you let him.
But then you sigh, pulling away. “If you ruin my hair, Dr. Reid, so help me,” you giggle, pressing a final kiss to his chin.
He chuckles softly. “I wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” he grins before heading to the living room and pulling his messenger bag over his shoulder.
You grab your purse and glance one last time at your reflection. Not to fix anything, no. Just to see yourself. To pretend you might resemble someone worth loving in a room full of people who love him.
When you step into the living room, Spencer’s already waiting by the door, his hands wringing at the strap of his bag, his smile still impossibly wide.
He links your fingers with his again like it’s second nature. Like this is just what you do. Like you belong with him.
You pretend—for just a moment—that you do.
You know you’re nervous when you hardly remember the metro ride. Conversations blurred around you until they were nothing but mist in the background. Just the steady warmth of Spencer’s hand in yours, his thumb moving in slow, absent circles on your skin, like he was tracing something only he could see. You remember the vibration under your feet and the way he held you when you stumbled as the train stopped.
By the time you step off the train and into the buzz of the city night, the air is cool, crisp. There’s a dewy scent of rain on the horizon.
You don’t even remember the walk to the bar until Porter’s flashes in bright red neon.
Your pulse is back in your throat, and suddenly it all feels too fast. Too real.
The gentle tug on your hand has your head snapping to your left. Spencer’s brows are furrowed, his lips pressed together. “Just take a breath, angel.” His voice is soft, warm. His thumb runs tenderly across your hand again. “It’ll be fine. Like I said, they’ll love you. I promise,” and oh. Oh, he looks so earnest. So sure. You can’t help the nod, the shaky exhale, the way your shoulders straighten out.
You blink. Look over at him again, a small smile quirking at your painted lips. “Okay, baby. I’m ready.”
He grins like sunshine.
Porter’s is busy; not packed, but there are enough patrons to have the bartenders ignoring attempts at conversation.
Spencer grins widely as a group of six, all settled around a circular booth, waves him over. His hand stays locked with yours until you get closer—then, he places it on the small of your back.
Their smiles start to… well. They falter, a bit, when they notice it. His hand, warm and steady on your back. You expected to surprise them, sure, but… You figured that for FBI profilers, they’d be a little better at hiding their shock.
And that means they’re not hiding it. They’re not trying to. If you can see their confusion, their surprise, their—is it discomfort?—then it’s intentional.
And that’s what stings the most. That this sudden tension, the glances, the raised brows, all point to you not fitting in.
They’re not impressed.
Spencer hardly notices it, though. You think it must be because he’s been so excited, but… really, how doesn’t he notice it? It’s like all the oxygen in the room has been sucked out, leaving six pairs of eyes staring at you like you’re other, like you don’t belong.
The blonde with wide eyes smiles at you, but it’s the kind that feels practiced, calculating. You’ve seen it before, more times than you can even remember.
The man next to her—broad, confident, handsome—raises a brow, his glass of whiskey stopping by his lip. He tilts his head when his eyes lower, meeting Spencer’s hand on your back.
Then the third woman, dark hair, a sharp gaze, pursed lips. God, she looks like Spencer when he’s trying to solve a crossword. You hate it, being studied like a puzzle yet to be solved.
And then Spencer says their names, and suddenly, for a moment, it clicks. “This is JJ, Morgan, Blake, Hotch, Rossi, and Garica.” Names you’ve only ever heard in fond little stories, in memories over takeout containers and sleepy mornings in bed.
You take a breath, willing yourself to breathe again. Your eyes land steadily on Garcia—Penelope. She’s already standing to hug you, her arms outstretched and a grin on her face. Spencer had described her as glitter and joy personified, and you can’t disagree. You think you love her already. “Oh my god, you’re real!” you giggle, “I was so sure Spence made you up!”
Penelope laughs with you, her hug warm and inviting, and you can’t help melting into it. She smells nice; like coconut and vanilla and citrus. You squeeze her back before pulling away, and her eyes are crinkled behind her wide pink glasses. “Oh, honey, I’m so real! But who are you, gorgeous? The Good Doctor’s been hiding you away from us!”
You smile shyly up at Spencer, watching as his hand returns to your back. “Uh, guys,” he glances down at you, all softness, before looking back at them. “This is my girlfriend.”
He says your name with reverence, dripping in pure affection, and the mood shifts yet again. Even Garcia freezes from her place next to you.
You wave timidly at them. “Hi,” you smile. “Spencer’s told me loads about you guys. He really loves you all, I can tell.”
And… there’s silence. JJ, Morgan, and Blake blink in unison. Like they’re sizing you up. Surprised in the worst way.
Your fingers reach up to your necklace again, gently pulling at it, tucking the charm between your digits again and again. You smooth your dress, tug it down. Maybe it’s too short? You bite your lip, check your posture, standing up straight. You hold back a sigh. You want to be enough. For them. For him.
JJ smiles a little softer, now. Her eyes more forgiving, just a fraction. “It’s so nice to meet you,” she says. “What do you do?” she asks, scooching over on the bench. Spencer slides in first, then pats the space next to him. You squeeze onto the seat, and try to ignore the warm weight of his hand settling on your knee.
“I work in a flower shop,” you say softly. Blake’s eyes brighten a bit at that, and she unclasps her hands.
“You’re a florist?” she presses, taking a sip of her margarita.
You shrug. “I guess, that’s what my nametag says,” you laugh softly, folding your hands in your lap, fingers fidgeting beneath the table. “But I dunno if I’m like, a real florist. I just do the arrangements.”
Spencer squeezes your thigh gently. You do your best to ignore it.
Blake’s eyes dull again, just slightly. “So, how did you two meet?”
You feel underwater. Your hearing is muffled, you can barely hear the sweet story Spencer’s retelling, of when he walked into your flower shop and you giggled and handed him the store’s card with your number scribbled on the back.
You can’t tear your eyes away from the surface of the table. You try to control your breathing. Keep the tears at bay.
You’re being ridiculous. Absurd. Your insecurities are making you paranoid; you know it. This happens all the time.
But then Spencer’s lightly shaking your knee, his head tilted low enough to catch your gaze. His eyes are worried. You grin at him. “Sorry, what was that, honey?”
He furrows his brows. “I asked what you wanted to drink, angel.”
Your mouth opens, then closes again. “Um,” you bite your lip, looking around the table at everyone’s drinks. Your eyes land on Garcia’s. “Penelope?” you prompt, and her head snaps over to you.
“Yeah?” She looks happy, a little buzzed.
“What’re you drinking?” you ask, nodding at her glass.
She grins widely. “Oh, sweetness,” she stands, holding out a hand for you. “Only the most delicious frozen strawberry daiquiri you’ll ever have! Come on,” she wiggles her fingers at you. “I’m due for a refill anyway, let’s go!”
You blink at her before taking her hand; it’s soft, and she closes it around yours in a way that feels so warm, so comforting. You barely get off the bench before she’s practically dragging you towards the bar.
She orders two frozen strawberry daiquiris, giving the bartender a flirty wink and an “extra pink, thanks, babe!”, before turning to you. “Oh my god, I need to know,” she says, gripping your shoulders like a lifeline. “How long have you and Einstein been together?”
You blink. “Um,” you furrow your brows. “Like, two-ish months, I think?”
Her face blanches, and suddenly, everything feels too fast, too sudden, like it’s the wrong answer, even though it’s not. You swallow your paranoia. “Spencer could probably tell you, like, the actual day, if you ask him. He’s really good with that stuff,” you add on, your voice low, a shy, proud little smile curling at your lips. He really is good with that stuff. Remembering the important things. Even something as simple as your favourite takeout place or the way you take your tea.
She pouts at you, her eyes softening, like she’s trying to make sense of what she’s hearing. It’s almost like she’s worried for you, like she feels sorry for you, but you can’t quite figure out why. “Oh, honey,” she sighs, collecting you into a hug you’re too confused to return. “I’m so sorry.” Her arms are too tight, too warm around you. You just stand there, stiff and unsure why everything feels so off.
Your brows furrow. “What do you mean, sorry?” you frown, your stomach doing a nervous little flip. “Everything’s been great. Spencer’s, like, sunshine in human form,” you try to laugh, but it comes out quiet, timid.
She sighs heavily, like she’s carrying a too-heavy weight on her shoulders, and then looks at you like she’s afraid to ask. “But… you don’t think this is, like, really soon?” She furrows her brows softly. “He doesn’t think so?”
You shake your head, confusion knitting your brows. You pull away from her grasp gently, suddenly feeling exposed in a way you didn’t before. “Penelope, what do you mean? Why would it be too soon?” You cross your arms over your chest, vulnerability eating at you. “Like… like me meeting you guys? ‘Cause I was worried about that, ‘cause it felt like, really early. But Spence said it was okay, ‘cause… like, I already have a key to his place, and I’m there, like, all the time, so—”
Penelope’s gasp is so sharp, so dramatic, that she covers her mouth with both hands in complete shock. “Oh. My. God!” Her eyes are nearly as wide as the frames of her glasses. “No- You- What?! You have a key? To his apartment?”
You nod slowly, and for some reason, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re saying the wrong thing. “Yeah? He gave it to me, like, a week or so ago,” you add, hoping it doesn’t sound as bad as you’re starting to feel it is.
And Penelope? Oh. She shifts like ice in the Arctic. Cold and imposing. You don’t think she even catches it, but she’s looking at you like you’re the villain in a story you didn’t even know existed. “That’s… so soon, sweetness.” Her eyes soften only slightly, and there’s a sympathetic lilt to her voice that feels less inviting and more pitiful. “What about Maeve?”
And you pause. Blink at her a couple of times, unsure if you’re dreaming, the weight of her words pressing on your chest. She stares at you, awaiting an answer. One you don’t have. “I-” you hesitate, like the words are too heavy to lift from your throat. “Who’s Maeve?”
Penelope frowns, her nose going red as though she can’t bear to see you confused. “Oh, honey,” she sighs, pulling you into her arms again, like she’s trying to shield you from the pain of her words. “Maeve was,” she starts, then pauses. “I feel like Reid- Spencer, should be the one to tell you.” She shakes her head, her lips pressing into a thin line. She pulls away from the hug, her hands still lingering on your arms.
You keep a trembling hand on her wrist. “Clearly, he never told me anything. Who’s Maeve?” you ask again, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “Is he-... Is he seeing someone else?”
You don’t want to be the fool again. Not again, not with Spencer. You swore he was different.
Penelope shakes her head, her arms smoothing over your shoulders in a calming motion. It doesn’t work. “No, no. Not at all, honey,” she whispers softly. She’s so… soft with you now. Her hands caress your shoulders like a mother comforting a child, explaining something you can hardly understand. “Maeve was Spencer’s girlfriend. They dated for, like, almost a year,” Penelope adds quietly, like she’s treading carefully around a wound that’s still raw.
That gives you pause. A year? That’s… serious. You feel the weight of its importance, like you’re not measuring up somehow. But Spencer’s not required to tell you about all of his past relationships, right? You know you haven't told him about yours, either.
But then Penelope sighs. “She died four months ago.” And the world goes still. You freeze, like the air’s been sucked right oout of your lungs. “She was kidnapped by her stalker, and she got shot. Right,” she pauses, swallowing hard. Her voice cracks as she continues, like she’s holding back her own pain. “Right in front of Spencer.”
And it’s there. A slow death, you can feel it creeping up on you. Your heart starts to melt against your ribs like thick, sticky honey. It burns you from the inside out, like acid; hot and relentless. “So,” your voice trembles, barely above a whisper. “So… I’m what?” You look into Penelope’s eyes, searing desperately for something to hold on to, but all you see is a deep, profound sadness. “I’m, like, a rebound?”
You wait. Penelope is silent. Her lips part, like there’s something she wants to say, to comfort you, to tell you no, he really loves you, but… She doesn’t. And when you see the minuscule shake of her head, you break.
You shatter like glass, like crystal. Like you’re fragmented in tiny shards scattered across the sticky bar floor, and suddenly, Porter’s is too bright. Too loud. Too much.
The sob escapes you before you can stop it, crawling up your throat and across your tongue like bile. You cover your mouth with your hand, tears freely spilling down your cheeks relentlessly.
Penelope’s lip wobbles as she watches you push past her and run down the back hall, before hearing the slam of the ladies’ room door.
She stands there, still and frozen.
What did she just do…?
Her gaze slowly moves to the table. Nobody has turned around, nobody has noticed a thing. Spencer’s laughing at something JJ says, and the guilt gnaws at Penelope like a plague.
You stumble into the bathroom like a storm, leaning your back against the door like you can hardly hold yourself up on your own, your legs shaky and trembling like a fawn taking her first steps.
The bathroom lights are harsh, fluorescent, and unforgiving. You catch sight of yourself in the mirror and recoil like you’ve seen a ghost. Your mascara is smeared down your cheeks, bleeding down to your jaw, inked like grief itself has manifested onto your skin.
Your lipgloss is mostly gone—just a faint shimmer clinging to the dip of your cupid’s bow, like it’s trying to hold on for you.
You can’t help the way you begin to sway, dizzy as your knees nearly buckle in your heels. You grip the sink like it might hold you upright, like you’re not actively falling apart. But the second you meet your own eyes again, something inside you cracks.
You can’t look at yourself.
You can’t look at her—the girl stupid enough to think she was someone’s forever, not just a placeholder for a ghost.
You stumble into a stall and lock the door behind you, the click too loud in this stifling silence. You sit down hard on the toilet lid, burying your face in your hands as the sobs come back with a vengeance.
You feel like a fool. You’d really thought Spencer was different.
You wish he was here.
You wish he wasn’t.
Penelope shudders a breath, wobbling back to the table with two frozen strawberry daiquiris in hand. Her smile is long gone, her face pale and blotchy and tear-stained. Her eyes are red behind her glasses.
She sets the glasses down on the table like she doesn’t know what else to do with her hands.
JJ’s brows knit together. “Garcia?” She leans forward from her seat. “Are you okay?”
But Spencer’s looking over his shoulder, eyes darting around for you. He’s already standing when he notes your absence, like a string inside him has been pulled too tight, too restrictive, too wrong. “Garcia?” he asks, his voice shaky and low. “Where is she? What happened?”
Penelope’s lip wobbles. She wrings her fingers together, avoiding his eyes. “I didn’t mean to,” she whispers. “I swear, I didn’t mean to—I just, I thought she knew, I thought you told her, and I—Spencer, I’m so sorry—”
Spencer’s heart drops to his gut. His mouth goes dry. “Told her what?” Penelope doesn’t answer. He takes a step closer, his throat going tight, his voice sharper now. “Penelope, what did you say?”
Her silence says everything. Her guilt fills the blanks. She shakes her head weakly at him, her hands coming up, her mouth opening and closing like she doesn’t know what to say. She sniffles.
Spencer’s eyes go wide. “Penelope,” he breathes out, horrified. His irises dart around her face. “What did you say to her?”
Penelope’s mouth opens, closes, opens again. No words come out. Her face crumbles as she looks at the man in front of her. Her own words play back in her head, your reaction playing like a film sheet behind her eyes. She collapses next to Morgan on the bench, tucking herself into the booth. “Bathroom,” she mutters softly, like a confession. Like it hurts.
Her glasses come off in one swift, clumsy motion as she covers her face with both hands. She’s wiping her tears, covering her guilt, trying to hide from the shame of what she’s done.
Spencer’s gone before anyone can even fully comprehend what’s just happened.
He doesn’t walk, he runs, tearing through the bar like it’s life or death, like he might already be too late. His heart’s in his throat, hammering loud against his ribs, and he doesn’t care who sees, doesn’t care how crazy he must look.
He just needs to find you. Needs to explain, to defend, to apologize.
Maeve’s ghost hovers over his shoulder like a curse.
There’s an incessant banging at the door to the bathroom.
You think it must be him—who else would knock on the door to a public restroom?
You do all you can to ignore it; you cover your ears, tucking your face as far into your lap as you can. Try to block it out. Block him out.
But then the door opens, and frazzled footsteps rush into the bathroom until they stop in front of the locked door of your stall. You can see his brown oxfords standing in front of the door. “Angel,” he whispers, slightly out of breath. “Please open the door… please?”
You inhale shakily, holding your hands tighter over your ears. You don’t want to hear him, his excuses, his lies.
“Go away,” you murmur, tears coating your voice, your throat clenching tight. “I don’t want to see you.”
Spencer sighs, crouching in front of the door. “Sweetheart, let me in, please. I don’t know what Garcia told you,” he knows it’s a lie. “But you have to believe me. I want you. Only you. I swear it.”
You shake your head. “I don’t want to hear more lies, Spencer.” You swallow a sob. “I know about Maeve.”
Spencer’s heart stops in his chest. “It- It’s not what you think,” he tries, his voice thick with tears he feebly attempts to hold back. But then you sniffle harshly, from under the door he sees you stand, planting your heels on the tile. He stays crouching, swiping at his red-rimmed eyes.
You open the door just a crack, eyes catching sight of his lowered form. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Your voice is quiet, pained, tight. Spencer raises his head, meets your eyes. You look ruined. Makeup smeared, eyes red and puffy, lips bitten red and swollen.
He hates that he’s made you look like this. He hates that he still thinks you look gorgeous. Like a tragedy, beautiful and broken and raw.
“I,” he hesitates, eyes never leaving yours. He swallows. “I’m sorry,” he sighs simply.
Your face crumples again, and Spencer’s brows knit tight. His eyes stay locked on the way you tuck your lip between your teeth to hold in a sob, like he’s never seen anything more beautiful than the way you fall apart. “You should’ve told me,” you whimper, sniffling. “It’s not fair, Spence.”
He flinches at the crack in your voice. He bows his head. “I know,” he murmurs. “I know I should’ve, I’m so sorry, angel.” He can’t help the way he leans forward, just enough to rest his forehead against the softness of your tummy.
Your hand cards through his hair like you don’t hate him, like you never could, and it breaks you even more. This was a betrayal. You can’t forget that, even if the softness of his curls feels like home between your fingers. “Was I just a rebound for you?”
Your question is broken, tearful, and your chest stutters with a breath. Spencer’s head lifts slowly from your middle. He swallows. “No,” he breathes out, the word like acid on his tongue. His eyes are slow to meet your gaze. “No, angel. Never.”
Your eyes close, a shaky exhale exiting your nose as you purse your lips. “Then why didn’t you tell me?” You remove your hand from his hair, crossing your arms over your chest.
You’re closing off. Spencer stands from his crouch, his left knee clicking as it extends. He wrings his hands to prevent himself from reaching out for you. “I should’ve.”
You just shake your head, lifting your chin to eye him steadily. “I asked why, Spencer. Why didn’t you tell me about her if I wasn’t a rebound, a replacement?”
He swallows, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip. “I don’t know. I think I was still…” he shrugs meekly. “Hurting, I guess.”
Your arms fall to your sides. “I could’ve helped you.”
Spencer lowers his head, shaking it roughly. “No, you couldn’t.” His eyes squeeze shut. He swears there’s a cold spot on the centre of his back, like someone’s staring into him, through him. He tries desperately to ignore her presence. “I never really dealt with it, I just wanted to move on. And,” he raises his head again, his eyes pained as he looks at you. “I did. I started to. With you.”
He reaches out his arm, his shaky hand settling softly on your elbow. You sigh, setting your gaze to the floor, but you don’t pull away from him. Spencer thinks it’s a small win. He tests the waters by taking a small step closer, invading your space, and his heart thrums in his chest when you let him.
You can’t hold it back. You want to hate him. You want to hurt him, like he’s hurt you. You thought you’d finally found it, your forever, the man who would treat you like you’re something worthy of love, of respect, of kindness. Who doesn’t criticize your curiosity, but who lets it thrive, who answers your questions softly, with reverence in his voice, with love in the way he holds you.
You thought he was different. You really did. But you think it’s fitting, really. To still love him, even now, even after he’s shattered your heart in your chest, even after he’s killed you from the inside out.
You collapse into his chest, and Spencer doesn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around you, holding you tightly, like he’s holding your very form together. Like if he so much as loosens his grip, you’ll break apart into tiny pieces on this dirty bathroom floor.
His lips go to your hair, his hand cradling the back of your head. He can feel the way the sobs wrack through your body, the way they shake against him, your form trembling as you fist the fabric of his cardigan, needing something to keep you grounded in reality—to keep you out of your head.
“I thought you were different,” you sob, broken and pained and whimpering into his shoulder. Spencer freezes. “I thought you wouldn’t hurt me. Not like them, not like before.”
He opens his mouth, but he can’t find the words. How does he respond to that? To your wailing of grief, of betrayal? Of admitting you’d believed in magic just to find out it was all sleight of hand? How does he acknowledge being the source of your pain, of hurting you so wholly that your knees buckle under the weight of it?
He doesn’t know. So he just holds you impossibly tighter, rocking your trembling form in his arms as he tries to find some way to fix this mess he’s caused.
You’re silent for too long. No longer sobbing, just quiet sniffling as you bury your head in Spencer’s chest, no doubt staining his cardigan with your makeup. He doesn’t care.
You pull back slightly, hands still fisted in the fabric. “I want to go home.” Your voice is quiet, raspy, like your throat itself is protesting you talking to him.
Spencer nods, petting your hair down softly. “Okay,” he whispers back. His gaze catches yours before you lower your eyes to his chest again, your hand instinctively going to wipe at the smudge of mascara. Your brow furrows, and your eyes fill with tears again as your thumb rubs at the stain, just to smear it around. Spencer gently wraps his hand around your wrist, and your eyes snap up to meet his. “It’s okay,” he nods softly. “Please don’t worry about it, angel.”
You sniffle again before pulling away, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I want to go home, Spence,” you murmur again. He nods, holding a hand out for you.
You don't take it, don't even look at it, averting your gaze to the floor again.
Spencer sighs, blinking away tears before he’s opening the door to the bathroom, and following you out.
He doesn’t touch you, even though his hand is hovering over your back, your head down as you stand by the front door. Spencer swallows roughly, grabbing his bag off the bench of the booth, avoiding the eyes of his team, who watch him silently.
Hotch’s eyes stay steady on the black stain on the front of Spencer’s cardigan, Garcia’s still got her hands on her face, and JJ is looking at you; small and feeble and shy, and still shaking with tears as you wait for Spencer. He holds the door open for you, whispers something to you as you both exit, and JJ heaves a sigh, taking a gulp of her drink. She and Blake share a look.
The back of the cab is quiet. Uncomfortable, stifling, suffocating silence. You’re seated on opposite ends of the backseat, Spencer’s eyes on you, your gaze out the window.
When the driver pulls up to Spencer’s apartment block, your brows furrow, your eyes going to Spencer, who’s already climbing out the door and opening yours. “I said home, Spencer,” you frown, ignoring his hand. “I don’t want to be here. I want to go home.”
Spencer flinches. “Please, angel. Just for tonight? So we can talk?”
You heave a sigh, glaring at him as you slap away his hand, stepping out of the yellow car and walking past him and into the building.
Spencer exhales, his hands wringing tightly on the strap of his messenger bag before following you up the stairs. You’ve already unlocked the door with your key and slumped onto his couch, sniffling as you lean down to take off your heels.
He doesn’t bother removing his bag from his shoulder, just closes and locks the door before rounding the couch and sitting on the coffee table, gently taking your foot and tucking it into his lap. His fingers undo the strap around your ankle, his hands slow as they pull off the offending shoe. He does the same for the other foot, then stands, picking up your heels as he heads back to the entrance to place them down beside his beat-up old converse.
Spencer hangs up his messenger bag, toes off his oxfords, and looks over at you.
You’re curled up on the couch, tucked into the corner, arms around your knees. Your gaze is fixed on one of his bookshelves, brows furrowed, lips pressed tightly together. Like you’re trying to understand something, trying to solve a puzzle he can’t see.
Spencer slowly makes his way over, sits cautiously beside you, his eyes following yours to the shelf. He doesn’t know if the book you’re staring at is the one his eyes are drawn to immediately, but he tears his gaze away like it’s burned him.
The Narrative of John Smith sits like a ghost on his shelf, its very presence mocking what Spencer’s tried so hard to build with you.
“I don’t know how to get over this,” you mutter softly.
Spencer looks up at you to find your eyes already on him. You shake your head gently, like the small motion of it is just too much. “I don’t know how to move on, now.”
He swallows, tucking his feet up under his legs. “I know.” His hands wring in his lap. “I don’t either. I just know that I want you.”
You scoff, avert your eyes. “If you did, you would’ve told me about her. Now you’ve just made me feel like an idiot,” you sigh. “Again.”
His lips turn, the corners of his mouth pulled into a pout. “Again?”
You sniffle again, shrugging. “I told you. I thought you were different. I thought,” you sigh, raising your head to stare at the ceiling. “I don’t know.”
Spencer tilts his head. “You say that a lot,” he notes. “‘I don’t know’. Like you’re afraid to say what you’re thinking. Like you’re expecting to be wrong, or dismissed. Or left,” he catches your eyes when your head snaps back to his. “And I hate that. I hate that someone taught you to apologize for existing, for being curious, for not knowing. And I…” he sighs, blinking at you, his expression soft and gentle and guilt-ridden. “I hate that I did that, too. To you.”
You swallow a sob, your eyes going wide.
Spencer scooches a little bit closer to you, just enough that your knees knock against his. “I should’ve told you about…” He tries to say her name. His tongue freezes, paralyzed.
“About Maeve,” you whisper. Spencer tries to hide his flinch, like hearing you say her name is wrong. Like the mixing of these two aspects of his life shouldn’t be happening.
He nods jerkily. “About Maeve,” he tries to ignore the way his voice catches on the word. “I’m sorry that I didn’t.”
You nod, tucking your lip between your teeth. “I know you are,” you glance sidelong at him. “I know.”
Spencer exhales shakily. “And I’m sorry Garcia told you.”
“I’m not.” Your voice is shockingly steady as you say it. You shrug when he looks at you. “If she didn’t, I don’t know how long it would’ve been before you did. Honestly, Spencer,” you turn to face him. “Would you have ever even told me?”
He wants to nod, to tell you he would’ve, but he swears he can see her brown hair in the corner of the room, stalking, watching, waiting. His mouth opens, but no words come out.
You wait. And then sigh heavily. “You’re not okay,” you murmur. “I can’t help you, you were right.”
And then you stand from the couch, head into his bedroom, and close the door.
Spencer hears rummaging, the sound of his drawers being opened and closed, then his shower starts, and he buries his face in his hands. Rubs his palms aggressively over his cheeks, pushing his hair away from his forehead.
He stands, peeling the cardigan off. He holds it out, his eyes locked on the black stain that’s, ironically enough, just over his heart. He exhales softly before putting it into the dirty laundry hamper in his bedroom. The bathroom door is closed, the sound of the shower muffled behind it.
He sighs. Drags his feet into the kitchen to start the kettle. His hands move on autopilot: setting the kettle onto the stove, the soft clanging of your mug and his being pulled out of the cupboard, just like always. He freezes when his fingers close around the handle of your pink strawberry mug. It looks like something Garcia would’ve picked out. Too bright, too bubbly, too you. His heart skips a beat.
You were right. God, you were right. He wouldn’t have said anything; not now, maybe not ever. He would’ve stayed silent, keeping you blissfully unaware. You would’ve never found out about Maeve had Garcia not told you anything. The guilt eats at him, gnawing on his chest like a disease, spreading through his ribs like rot.
His hands tremble as he sets it down on the counter beside his. The ceramic clinks too loudly in the silence. He rocks his head back and forth, like he can shake the memories out.
When he opens his eyes, he swears she’s there. Just there, at the edge of his vision, he catches a glimpse of her sweater. He pours the water from the kettle into your mug. It’s all he can do to stop himself from shouting at a ghost.
She haunts these walls—ones she’s never once stepped into. It drives him mad.
Spencer’s sitting on the couch with his hands in his lap and his head bowed when you re-enter the room.
He looks up as the couch dips beneath your weight. You settle in the opposite corner, as far as you can be while still sharing the same space. Spencer clears his throat, rubs his palms nervously over the tops of his thighs. “I made you tea,” he whispers.
You blink. Your strawberry mug sits neatly on an orange slice coaster. He reaches for his, and you see the grapefruit one under it. Your throat goes tight again.
You don’t want to cry again. You refuse to.
You sigh. “I didn’t really want any tea.” Your lips press together as you curl further into your corner. “But thanks anyway.”
Spencer flinches. It’s barely noticeable, just a twitch. But of course you catch it. There’s nothing about this man you don’t notice.
Or so you thought.
Because now he’s staring at you.
Or, not quite; he’s staring through you.
You swallow hard. How many times has this happened before without you noticing? Without knowing he was haunted? Broken? Grieving someone you never knew existed. Mourning the woman you replaced.
You avert your gaze again. You can’t keep looking at your boyfriend while he stares through you, at the woman he lost. “Spencer,” you say, quiet yet sharp. It snaps him out of his trance.
His eyes dart to the side of your face. His brows pull together, unsure, almost pleading. He swallows roughly. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, setting his mug down. “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to,” he chews on his lip, shrugging. “I just… I thought you might want it. Like…” he trails off.
You know what he was going to say, anyway. Like every other night. Like routine. But if he thinks you’re about to cuddle up to him while he reads to you, he’s sorely mistaken.
But then you look at him. Just once. And he looks so broken, you can’t bring yourself to say it.
So you stand, slowly, achingly, like just leaving him there is enough to hurt. “I’m tired,” you mutter softly. Spencer’s eyes track your movement. He untucks a leg, like he’s about to follow you like some lost, desperate puppy. You hold up a hand. “I’d like to be alone for a bit. You brought me here,” you can’t help the narrowing of your eyes. “The least you could do is let me have that.”
Spencer gulps, sinks back into the couch with a jerky nod. “Of course,” he whispers. He doesn’t look away, not even when his bedroom door clicks shut behind you.
He turns back around, squeezing his eyes shut. He scrubs at his cheeks, as if trying to wipe the grief and guilt from his skin itself.
There’s rustling behind the door. Spencer pictures you crawling into his bed. He wonders if you’re cuddling his pillow, like you always do when he leaves for work in the morning.
Then he figures you’ve probably thrown it off the bed. The thought tugs harshly at his chest.
He sighs, pulling the throw blanket off the back of the couch and wraps it around his shoulders. He sits in silence, his mind running too loud, too fast, for even him to keep up.
There’s a chill to his left. He doesn’t open his eyes. Doesn’t want to face the visible manifestation of his guilt, his grief.
Spencer doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there. The tea cools in both mugs; the steam rising and fading, like breathing out a ghost. His apartment is too quiet. Too silent to have you just in the next room. Too quiet for a mind like his. It feels wrong. Suffocating. Smothering. His lungs ache like he’s drowning in it.
It’s been hours. Two cups of lavender tea, three hours lost in casefiles and novels and poetry, and none of it has helped him sleep. It hurts even more when he realizes it’s because you’re not there beside him.
Spencer stands with a quiet groan, dragging himself to his bookshelf. He stares at it, needing something else. Anything to get him to sleep, anything to quiet his thoughts, even if just for a moment.
He doesn’t mean for his eyes to go to it. Doesn’t even realize his hand’s already reaching, already pulling it off the shelf. His mind doesn’t catch up to reality until Spencer’s already sitting on the couch with The Narrative of John Smith open on his lap. Maeve’s handwriting stares back at him from the first page.
“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone—we find it with another.”
The tears come before he even realizes he’s crying.
Spencer’s vision comes back slowly, like waking from a dream, walking out of a fog, seeing past the haze. He blinks, looking down at the book in his hands. He sets it down on the coffee table—careful, like it burns to so much as hold it.
He gulps. Two books sit side-by-side. Two mugs, four coasters.
He sighs, lying back on the couch. He listens, but the bedroom stays silent.
You wake early. So early that not even the sun is up, the birds aren’t even singing, and the stars are still twinkling in the darkness. You lie on your back, staring at the ceiling in silence. It’s so quiet here, the only sound is the crickets chirping softly outside the window.
You sit up, heaving your legs over the side of his bed with a heavy sigh. This room… you’ll miss it. It’s warm, comfortable. Smells like old books and clean linen and him.
Spencer.
Just the thought of him has you holding back tears again.
You shake your head, trying to push away your impending grief, and stand slowly. You open the drawer he’s dedicated to you, your hands trembling as you dress yourself. You avoid your reflection as you take the rest of your clothing out of the drawer and shove it into your bag. You grab your toothbrush and your makeup bag.
And you take one mismatched set of socks from his drawer.
You’re slow, quiet, as you creak open the bedroom door, your bag slung over your shoulder. You peek over to the couch. Spencer’s stretched out, long limbs draping over the armrest. His brow is pinched, mouth slightly agape, but he’s asleep.
You exhale a sigh of relief. Your eyes catch sight of the coasters—your coasters. Bright, vibrant, fruit slice circles of ceramic. They still look out of place. Still don’t belong here.
You can’t bring yourself to take them with you. They brighten up this warm, cozy space, this place that they just don’t fit in. You’ve related to them since you brought them over.
Oh well.
Spencer can decide what to do with them. You try to ignore the stinging in your chest when you imagine him throwing them out.
With a reluctant turn, you silently slip on your shoes, tug on your jacket, and sling your purse over your shoulder beside your bag.
You don’t leave a note. You wouldn’t know what to say.
You exhale as you crack the front door open quietly, allowing yourself just one last glance around the apartment.
You’ll miss it.
You close the door gently behind you, careful not to let it click. Your hands shake as you lock it, fingers trembling as you remove the key from your keyring. You slide it under the door. It catches on the floorboard for a second, then disappears into his apartment. Like it never belonged to you in the first place.
Your fingers go to the tiny pink gemstone on your neck. You tug at it gently. Rest your fingertips over the chain in something not unlike reverence, before lowering your hand.
You straighten your shoulders. You don’t look back.
Spencer wakes sluggishly. Like his body’s not quite his, his limbs tired and heavy. When he finally manages to sit up, he blinks the sleep out of his eyes. The door to his bedroom is open; he can see his bed made neatly. Too neatly.
He glances to the kitchen, expecting to see you standing at the counter, humming, pouring coffee into your favourite mug and smiling over at him, like you always do, every morning. But it’s empty.
Spencer’s brow furrows, knitting together tightly. He calls your name, soft, then louder. His voice shakes.
He rises slowly, like lost in a dream, his gaze drifting to the door.
Your shoes are gone, leaving his beat-up old converse and scuffed oxfords alone by the door. Your jacket’s not hung up beside his on the hooks. Your purse is missing from where you always hung it in front of his messenger bag.
Spencer rounds the couch, his hands trembling, panic rearing its ugly head, fear clawing at his chest. “Angel?” he tries again, his voice softer now. “Sweetheart, please… please answer me,” he whimpers, his throat going tight.
His gaze drifts down to the floor, like he’s hoping, just for a moment, that he’s wrong. That his peripheral was lying to him.
It shines, like some cruel joke, where it rests on the hardwood, the first rays of dawn catching it.
The spare key. The one he gave you. The one he thought meant home.
It gleams from the floor, tossed carelessly, just in front of the front door, like you’d locked it and slid it under the threshold when you’d left.
Left.
He doesn’t even know when you left. Doesn’t know if it was hours ago or mere minutes, but the air still feels thick with your absence.
Spencer stumbles, almost collapsing to the floor beside that key. The key to his home. To his heart. The key you’d left behind.
He staggers back to the couch, eyes hollow, locking onto the coffee table. Your coasters. And your mug. Just… sitting there.
You’d left them.
He swallows his sobs, choking on the grief that’s clawing its way up his throat. They look so bright. Too bright. Out of place here, in the dim silence of his apartment. You were, too. You brought a brightness to this warm, cozy place. One he didn’t know he needed until you’d taken it away. Like the sun setting, sinking slowly beneath the horizon, leaving nothing but a cold darkness in its wake. An emptiness he can’t escape.
Spencer reaches for the book left beside them. Flips it open to page 639 like muscle memory.
The Cyrillic stares back at him. He can hardly make it out through the tears clouding his vision. His voice cracks as he forces the quote out—the one he had meant to read to you just last night—his memory carrying him.
“I can't say it in a more orderly and comprehensible way. I love you wildly, insanely, infinitely.”
He breaks down into a lump of broken sobs on his couch, clutching the red leather-bound novel to his chest like it’s the only thing holding him together.
This is it. Doctor Zhivago, bright fruit slice coasters, and a strawberry mug. It’s all he has left of you, when he never thought he’d have to face the reality of life without you again.
Your absence chokes him like a vice.
The air turns frigid; Spencer feels like he’s wrapped in a sudden chill, like the warmth that was in his chest is being stolen from his soul itself.
He won’t open his eyes—refuses to. He won’t face this ghost that haunts him, keeps him broken, that pushed you away. He can’t look at her brown hair and warm sweater and blood on her cheek.
He just hugs the novel closer to his chest and mourns once more, wailing his grief into the air like pain personified is being ripped from his chest, leaving him hollow, empty, alone.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid angst#criminal minds angst#reid ✧˖*°࿐#mine ✧˖*°࿐
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I would love to see nerd face more how it transition there sex life and dating
Like how he would react to y/n ridding him for the first time and wants to grab her boobs so he just fist the covers and she’s like you can grab them 🫣 and he reacts just like how she gave him a blow job
nerd!rafe and reader transitioning into their sex life | MDNI
A/N: OK OK… I adore this
NERD!RAFE MASTERLIST
˚。⋆୨୧˚ SO. We all know how shy he is. At first, he’s scared to even ask for sex. Because he’s scared of making you uncomfortable or think he only is lustful over you when he gen is in love with you.
˚。⋆୨୧˚ and because of this, you’d be the one having to iniate everything. And even then, he was always asking before he does anything… like the man was scared to touch you
˚。⋆୨୧˚ eventually, after many many times, he starts getting to know more about what you like and what you don’t like. He learns your body so quick, it’s kinda crazy.
˚。⋆୨୧˚ okay, okay, so when you first ride him, he’s nervous as hell. He’s never had a girl wanna ride him, like ever. And he struggles not to bust a nut as soon as he sees you on top of him and you start straddling him.
˚。⋆୨୧˚ and he is GRIPPING those sheets at first. You’re sinking down on his cock, and he is just pulling and tugging at them, unsure of what to do with his hands. And he couldn’t just, grab your hips or something, because in his mind, he was overstepping.
˚。⋆୨୧˚ you find it kinda cute 😭 because it IS. That man just doesn’t wanna make you uncomfy and he’s really sweet abt it. But, you come up with an idea in your head that you think he’s gonna adore.
˚。⋆୨୧˚ you stop moving and grinding your hips on him for a moment, and you grab his hands, pulling them off the sheets. “Here.” You tell him with a sweet smile as you guided his hands towards your breasts, letting them rest there for a moment.
he looked at you in pure awe. you know he’s a boob guy, and so, why not?
˚。⋆୨୧˚ so, you start to ride him again, and his hands are frozen still your boobs now, when you put your hands over his, and nod softly, already reading his mind.
˚。⋆୨୧˚ he gives you a smile, looking like a kid in a freaking candy store when he starts to grope you, his hands gripping your chest and watching them bounce up and down in his hands as you ride him.
˚。⋆୨୧˚ he busts in that moment btw.. that’s literally all he needed. And you can tell by the way his cheeks grew rosy and his soft lips parted.
#nerd!rafe#𓈒♡͙ೃ࿔ asks#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron headcanons#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron imagine
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fav caleb xia fics bc im a lover girl ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

art is by 绝世西瓜 (xhs id 117998996) ˚ . ⊹ ⋆
im a certified baby apple girl Ok i know what i like & whats good so i will kindly share these to the world!! this is for my caleb lovers and pseudocest enjoyers
psa i refer to caleb w nicknames like colonel silly / silly / apple boy etc !! in case ur confused lol ,, ♡ are my absolute favs !! ,,
(,,>﹏<,,) ao3 fics
sugar pit by knightjpg
9.6k words, pseudo-incest, more sex leaning, angry angsty mc at caleb & colonel silly cant bring himself to get angry (i love him)
rotary devotion by kirketeer ♡
35.1k words, very poetry esque, my kind of devotion (aka kinda scary type!!! wanting to live in his skin, being near him/skin touching not being enough etc), sooo angsty from silly’s pov, dont read this if u dont want to be hit with an intense amount of sadness and worry (affectionately)
he ain’t heavy (he’s my—) by kirketeer ♡
8.3k, REALLY poetry esque (so my fav fic by default!), dunno how to explain but the metaphors towards caleb & reader being synonyms + antonyms is making my head spin, dynamic is sooo sweet! kirketeer is a rly good world builder so ure immediately in it all the way (which i love)
the taste of a forbidden fruit (i offer you my heart, bruised and bitten) series by luvl3ss ,, my favs below
> ikaw lang: 1k words, caleb is still caleb, reminds me of this one quote abt how loving someone is having to grieve every version of them :’)
> extra thin!: 0.5k words, apple slicing prefs, really short but its just as sweet as that first bite of a perfect apple slice :P
origin: sine qua non series by tinylethologica ,, favs below
> footprints underneath a pulse storm ♡ 11.111 words (i HAD TO !!! its perfect), based off his deceptive solitude card ^__^ aka the gun cleaning one w the towel barely hanging on around his waist and his v line showing mmmmfffppjhhhh, dynamic is so good they banter SO YUMMILY, caleb and reader being panty sniffers i know thats right!, the sex is a bit milder — it focuses more on dialogue and thats exactly my kind of smut i love it so bad, also um um gun play Nods head. sucking the gun … him fucking reader w the gun uh huh okay that says enough right
> calomel in libation: 4.1k words, caleb knows u better than anyone else (even urself), he eats u out, kinda crazy how he just knows that reader needs to be eaten out after all the stress…. ugh such husband material wheres the ring!!
drive you insane by soarinapple
10.4k words, IM SHAKING omgomgomg SPANKING fic!!!!!! oh hell yeah, he spanks her she counts and thanks him and it goes on sooo long u almost feel it on your bum too </3 oh i wish that was me, aftercare scenes included too ! its so good
(..◜ᴗ◝..) tumblr fics
quick psa i read more incestuous things / heavy topics here so be warned! pls ignore or dont interact if u dont like <3
my love, my alibi by prettyboykatsuki
23.3k words, pseudocest (HEAVY. if u dont like it dont interact!!), im gonna be so real rn and just say this has to be my fav fic w the incestuous theme cause this is just ALL about that dynamic between them. growing up together but the lines blur as you grow up and suddenly someone youve always seen as ur brother is hot and u realise he takes care of you more than a brother should, caleb knows u but also. not? idk all i remember is that him cumming in you felt more romantic than it should be
spilled sweetness by piroulinewafers
2k words, pseucocest (heavy), watersports!!!!!!! this is piss focused lol!!! he checks ur bladder thru ur meow meow..... (yummy), kinda crazy kinda not . its kinky for sure esp w the pseudocest theme ...
drabbles by piroulinewafers
> married reader & caleb + jealousy (from reader) 2.4k words
> vv submissive reader & the sweeeeeetest dom caleb ever. he takes care of u when u cant do it urself 1.5k words
drabble (1) by yukinohiko
0.3k words, caleb faking his amnesia (hes so silly), reader/mc being a freak ofcourse and immediately taking advantage of it LOL but the dialogue is the most important part of this fic!!!, analogies of their love bla bla bla, gege & meimei use <3
drabble (2) by yukinohiko ♡
0.5k words, apple boy just loves you so much. it doesnt matter if u hate him or get angry hes so patient sobs, baby (reader) doesnt mean it!!!! she gets so sad when she realises what she did, gege usage, very sweet reader shes so cute in this...
the colonel's saint (part 2 of the colonel's keeper) by saintobio
9.8k words, im not even gonna sugarcoat it part one made me so uncomfy after reading it cause it was GUTWRENCHING in the best way possible!!!!!, the writing was superb but the entire situation made me feel so icky... i cant reread it like i usually do but i could w the second part!!! reader kinda gets her redemption, the last bits were so bittersweet im happy but also not
so fucking domestic by kutepik
1.2k words, hes so cuuuuteeee!!!!! theyre both cute icl, sex whenever and wherever in the house is soo domestic, just very adorbs im gonna eat them Both
#caleb x reader#caleb xia#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace#caleb xia x reader#xia yizhou#xia yizhou x reader#love and deepspace angst#caleb angst#caleb fluff#caleb smut#gege#💌 my colonel
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previously 🧃 anon (why did she signoff with her personal emoji and not a general emoji we can share ... sigh); she was moreso going against the wishes of others in our sys (read: we have an unspoken agreement to try to only let me (host*) int on tumblr and if anyone else DOES int to pretend to be me) but she was on anon so i guess its fine ... -🏥 (general emoji!)
*not sharing /my/ name so nobody can figure out who we are! 🧃's name is emily, though :)
Ah , I . Don't exactly know what to say to that , sawrry ,, but I suppose at least she was on anon ? Dunno , fufu :'3
#➳ the fool's mail box#➳ sender; 🏥 anon#since I'm a singlet I'm nawt too good at . idk . having actual answers for sys related stuff i kinda just nod and go ''mhm'' since I don't#rlly . know that much abt it obviously because i am a singlet . lol . but i have acknowledged uur ask even if i can't think of a reply hdjdj#and dw about nawt sharing uur name ofc !! anon sign offs r completely a-ok for those visiting my ask box
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"is your girlfriend single?" ☆ enha hyungs


☆ youtuber! non-idol! bf! enhypen hyung line x fem! reader ☆ summary: when your youtuber boyfriend finally shows you for the first time to his audience. ☆ genre: fluff, jealous and whipped boys... kinda dumb lol ☆ warning(s)? no! just fluff!! and attempts at humor :( ☆ reblogs and comments are appreciated :D also not proofread lol
maknae ver.
heeseung ☆
i like to think that hee would be a gaming youtuber
posts maybe like once or twice a week, has about 3 million subs
he sometimes likes to stream, just to get to know his fanbase better and to just hang out
normally he texts you to let you know abt it, but today he totally forgot
you came home from work and you saw his office door closed + heard the sound of his loud ass keyboard clicking.... my guy beats that shit UP atp
that was normal tbh
you were probably like "my little keyboard warrior ❤️" and went to go wash up in your shared bathroom and bedroom
you were going to just pop into his office, say hi and maybe give him a kiss
meanwhile... heeseung is taking a break from gaming, just talking to the chat
he definitely didn't notice you coming home... probably bc of that bigass head set that's creating a fucking valley in his skull... (btw have u seen those videos where gamers take off their headphones and they have a dent on their head 😭)
anyways you open the door, ready to say hi, but heeseung is visibly surprised, looking like a deer in headlights
you look at him, then at the back of his monitor, then back at him, then at his monitor
"should i come back another time...?"
hee's already taking off his headphones, leaning back into his gaming chair--
"no no no!" he grins, glancing at the chat, which is now blowing up
"who is that?"
"yooooo"
"HEESEUNG IS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?"
"gf reveal?"
"she sounds so pretty"
heeseung pats his lap, "cmere, baby, i wanna introduce you to the stream"
of course you comply <3
you take a seat on his lap, his arms slithering around your waist
it takes you a moment to take in what's on his screen: obv there's your reflections, then the chat boxes and announcement pop-ups
the way that the blue-purple light of his screen reflects onto your skin, casting a glassy gleam over your eyes-- and the way that your pretty eyes look at the monitor so curiously, lips parted ever-so-slightly-- made you look SO beautiful
heeseung himself has to angle his head in a way so that he could see your face properly.... and a soft grin unknowingly began to spread over his lips
he presses a soft kiss to the crook behind your ear, before looking back up at the stream
"hey guys," there's a clear smile in his voice, "this is my girlfriend, [name]."
you take that as your queue to introduce yourself
honestly, you're a little shy and softer-spoken now, bc you're not in front of a camera nearly as often as your boyfriend is, "hi.. i'm [name], and... uhm..." you give the webcam a clumsy, awkward (but very cute) smile, "i'm hee's girlfriend"
the chat blows up immediately
"SHE'S SO CUTE"
"i've never seen heeseung look so soft"
"[name] you're so pretty :)"
"this might actually be one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen im not joking guys"
"chat is she real... bc why is she actually GLOWING oh my lord🧎🧎🧎"
those comments make you a lil shy and bashful, and you feel your cheeks kinda warm
you just giggle reading them, unable to contain your smile
heeseung, on the other hand, is feeling prideful
"that's right, guys," he squeezes your waist, puffing his chest out, "my girlfriend is so beautiful" "i know i'm so lucky to have such a wonderful woman as my girlfriend"
he's overjoyed by all the compliments you're getting... it makes him so happy that he can show you off and that everyone gets to see that YOURE his gf
in fact, he's reading a lot of them aloud, and following it up with "i agree with you"
like he'll read "'[name] is absolutely stunning, like wow..." and heeseung nods and is like "i agree with you, xXdragontittysucker23Xx 🤓☝️"
but then a comment stops him in his tracks...
"heeseung is your girlfriend single by any chance?"
his face drops immediately
"hey... who in the chat asked if [name] is single?!"
he's actually offended, putting a dramatic hand on his chest and scoffing
"how rude!" heeseung pouts against your shoulder when even more of his viewers begin saying similar things
"[name] are you free this weekend"
"hi [name] (i'm 6'2 and drive a lamborghini and save orphans every weekend)"
"heeseung get out i'm trying to have a moment with your girlfriend"
you're actually such a cutie, becuase you're just giggling as more and more comments come trying to rizz you up
"what do you have to say for yourself?" heeseung asks you half-sulkily and half-defensive, pushing his face into your neck and pouting
your eyes glimmer with a little mischief, wanting to tease your boyfriend a little bit
"i mean... " you pretend to think
and then someone named jungkooksleftpinkytoe562 says in chat "please [name] i'll rock your world so hard just one chance"
you laugh
"jungkooksleftpinkytoe562, i'm free tomorrow at 5, you should take me out on a date" and you wink playfully and laugh again
chat blows up like
"WOAHHHH"
"AYOOO????"
but if there's anyone that's scandalized, it's heeseung lee himself
"HEY! HEY! WHAT?!!?!" he's squinting and scrolling so fast in the chat to find jungkooksleftpinkytoe562 that you can hear the scroll-wheel oh my god
"you guys better back off," heeseung says, pulling you even closer. he presses a kiss against your shoulder, then gently clutching your face to kiss your chin, "she's mine!"
heeseung's eyes narrow, "especially you, jungkooksleftpinkytoe562..." your bf gives you a quick peck on the lips, "i'll kick your ass if i see you flirting w my girlfriend again >:("
im gonna be fr... none of his viewers care
in fact they keep flirting with you
and the fact that you keep playfully flirting back adds fuel to heeseung's flames
but he'd never blame you <3
he's pouty after the stream lol (but he knows it's all in good fun) so kiss his cute lil pouty lips
i think this definitely goes viral on twitter
like #[name] or #heesgf trends for a good 48 hours
jay ☆
my guy is a cooking channel
i think jay would try to be more private abt his personal life to his viewers, just given the nature of his content
though, it's no secret that jay has a s/o to his viewers, and i think they'd know your name
but yk how at the end of cooking videos, after the chef cooks, they try the food...
i think in a few of his videos, there's clips of you and him trying his food, but while jay is usually in-frame, you're either behind the camera or just barely in the frame so that most people have really only heard your voice and seen your hands
the comments are usually tame, like
"[name]'s voice is so pretty!"
"i want someone to look at me the way jay looks at [name]"
"my parents!"
but one day
for one of his subscriber milestone specials
let's say 2million subscriber special
jay does a cooking challenge
it's "cooking a meal but BLINDFOLDED"
he starts the video explaining the parameters of the challenge and what he's doing, etc
but then he reveals that you're behind the camera to supervise him
obv bc he's in a kitchen with ovens and knives and he's blindfolded...
throughout the video, you kind of just guide your bf
"omg jay move your hand or you'll cut your fingers off!"
"turn on the stove-- no the other way!!"
at some point, jay is cutting up onions
and normally he's a pro at it, and you never question his abilities
but because he can't see and he's using the knife so quickly, you're freaked out like "babe!!!!!! that doesn't seem safe!!! 😰😰😰"
so then behind the camera, you're heard fussing about it and it's cute lol
then you take it upon yourself to help him
you go behind him, slithering your arms around him so that your hands were places on his
you guide his hands to cut the onions slowly
"babe, i got this," jay says, but tbh he's not complaining because he gets to be close to you :D
"nonono i don't want you to die!!" you say, and it seems like you're more concentrated on cutting the onions than him
this is the first time that your face is in-frame for one of his videos lol
when you're done, jay tries to kiss your head, but he can't find you so you raise yourself on your tippy toes for him
its a quick peck but you giggle and place a kiss behind his ear
when he's done cooking his little dish, it's time to garnish and decorate it with sauce
jay's plan is to use the sauce to write "happy 2 million subscribers" on the dish
but because he's blindfolded, the writing is so fucked up
it's completely unintelligable and just a glob of sauce 😭
and then he tries to draw a dick on it but it's also super fucked 😭😭😭😭
when you see this, you burst out laughing so hard
and this makes jay laugh too
anyways the video goes up, it's very cute and well-received
now.... the youtube comments are still tame
"[name]'s laugh is so cute!"
"i screamed when she popped into frame... she's gorg"
"the way that [name] looks at jay when he's blindfolded is everything"
"[name] looks so beautiful"
but uh
it gets crazy on twitter
as it always does
"jesus fucking christ if a woman like that wrapped her arms around me and kissed me i would fall to my knees and die happily"
"jay CANNOT handle allat.... but i can!!!! me next!!"
"god... when is it my turn to have a pretty woman kiss me"
"[name] i'll treat you so well PLEASE"
i think the clip of you helping jay cut the onions kinda goes viral, just because you look so attractive doing it
like the way you popped into frame as you rolled up your sleeves and the way you smirked at jay's inability to see... ZOOWEE MAMA!!!!!
and i think this eventually makes its way onto tiktok
like pretty standard videos of ppl being like "JAY'S GIRLFRIEND HELLO???" with comments like "she's so beautiful," etc
jay honestly thinks its funny
he knows that people are joking and he sometimes actually plays along with them
he loves that people are appreciating your beauty (but he loves even more that he's the only one that actually gets you)
when you first go viral, you're kinda shy about it, but jay just pulls you close, kisses your cheek, squishing them, and says "my baby is so beautiful"
youre like "jayyyyyy stoopppp"
he only chuckles and starts to pepper your face with more kisses, despite your lil whines for him to stop
but then while you two are cuddling one night, you laying on his chest with your face in his neck
a tiktok appears on his fyp
its just some teenager being like "hi does anyone know if jay's girlfriend is single?" while showing off a black BMW in the background... and then jay's directly tagged in it
he takes this as his opportunity to strike back
he stitches that tiktok, and makes his own tiktok in response
it's just a really short video where jay shows you all snuggled up against him completely silent before he just says "No, she is not single. 😐."
the caption's like "i'm taking [name] out on a date tomorrow shhh don't tell her"
everyone thinks it's really sweet tbh
jake ☆
truthfully i think jake would be into youtube commentary
something like danny gonzalez or jarvis johnson
he looks at troom troom videos and makes fun of them lowk 😭
speaking of, troom troom or troom troom - adjacent content usually has crazy ass lifehacks
so for one of his videos jake is testing out troom troom life hacks
and for one of them, he has to drill a hole in a skateboard or something and put pasta noodles in it idk i'm pulling this out of my ass but its not surprising if this is a legitimate troom troom life hack
unlike heeseung and jay, jake's viewerbase doesn't rlly know about you
again, given the nature of his content, jake never rlly found it necessary to mention his personal relationships
anyways jake is in the middle of your living room floor drilling a hole into a skateboard and putting spaghettie in it when you come home from work and see that shit
jake is in the middle of talking to the camera but the moment the door cracks open he trails off
he gives you that smile-- the one that a puppy gives when their owner catches them doing something they shouldnt aw
when you take in the sight before you, you let out a laugh, not noticing the camera rolling
you place your things down and slink toward your boyfriend
"what's going on here, jakey?" you ask him with a cocked brow, loving the way he chuckles nervously
you crouch down beside him, poking the skateboard-spaghetti abomination with your foot
"i'm testing out troom troom life hacks" he sounds defeated lol
anyways you give him a kiss on his cheek and leave him to his own devices
in the final video, your little interruption is only like 15 seconds bc jake cut it down-- but he def keeps the part where you kiss him
HOWEVER.
because jake's audience didn't know he had a girlfriend
they were all like WOAH WHO IS THAT GORGEOUS WOMAN
a few of his fans look at who he's following on instagram, and they find your account
your ig is public, but it's definitely small and personal
they find pictures of you and jake doing cute couple things, a lot of mirror selfies, matching costumes, and cute pictures that you take of jake
but...
they also find your own personal pictures
ones of you in a bikini at the beach, ones of you with the golden sun on your face, ones showing off your outfit and hair, ones of you in the morning, ones of you being a baddie
and lets not mention jake in the ig comment sections hyping you up like a teenage boy like "YOURE SO HOT [NAME] 🔥🔥🔥🔥"
jake and you see all the comments and tweets about you
so jake decides to take it upon himself to clarify everything
he posts a picture on instagram of you and him with the caption "yes, that's my girlfriend"
safe to say that it becomes his top post LMAOAAO
his ig comments are flooded with support
"you guys are so cute"
"i'm glad to see jake have someone that he loves"
etc
YOUR ig comment section on the other hand?
flooded with support
and thirst
HELP
his fans are respectful but they REALLY love to compliment you
"woahhh you look so good in this one!"
"gorgeous 😍"
"[name] will you marry me?"
but i do think a few are outright insane omg
"[name] you're my sunshine in the ran, the tylenol when i'm in pain, when it's burning hot on summer days you're exactly what i need"
i think they pull out poetic shit omg
like shit like
"the memory of you is a tapestry I had decided to wrap myself in until it suffocated me, to such extent that in the morning, people will not find my body, but a new silhouette woven within its threads"
"there is a city in my heart where you are its only population"
"if i could remake universe, i would replace you as the moon amongst the stars after your time, so i may gaze upon you every night"
jake is NEVER escaping
you appreciate the hype
but jakey?
he loves that you're being appreciate but YOU'RE HIS
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY DO THEY THINK THEY HAVE A CHANCE W U
"jakey they're just being nice"
"no they're trying to STEAL YOU"
like a day later he posts a picture of you on his instagram with the caption "she's mine btw"
his comments DO NOT CARE 😭😭😭
when someone comments
"jake is your gf single and can i take her out on a date"
jake straight up responds
"NO."
what a cutie
sunghoon ☆
i actually don't think sunghoon would be a YOUTUBER youtuber
instead i think he'd be a famous ice skater, but he has YOUTUBE interviews and is active on social media
definitely the type of athlete that's very personable
like sunghoon is def in touch with his fanbase and interacts with them on twt and stuff
his fanbase knows that he has a gf, but that's basically the limit
anyways sunghoon is doing one of those "WIRED answered the web's most searched questions"
you're actually in the studio with him during the interview, kinda there for support
the questions are tame like
"sunghoon park height" "sunghoon park winter olympics 2018" "where was sunghoon park born" etc
sunghoon's killing it
until one of the last questions on the board is "does sunghoon park have a girlfriend?"
he immediately lights up
"i do have a girlfriend!" he says, looking off-set at you, "her name's [name] and she's the most beautiful woman i've ever met"
you chuckle quietly at his comment, flashing him a pretty smile
sunghoon continues- "she's actually here with me today" and he points to you, making the cameraman pan over to you, who is sitting off the set
you just give the camera a thumbs up
you thought that would be the end, but sunghoon asks, "baby, do you want to do this interview with me?"
ofc you agree
he makes u sit on his lap lol even when the camera crew is bringing another chair for you
instead of answer more questions sunghoon just talks about your relationship the entire time
he's giving an entire history lecture about your relationship
you don't say much, but you listen to him intently
when this interview goes up
a lot of his fans make edits of it
sunghoon is already known as a quiet typa guy, but when he talks for like 2 minutes straight about your relationship everyones like "oh god this guy really likes his girlfriend 😭"
in fact
the official interview cuts down sunghoon's tangent about you to 2 minutes, when the original clip was actually 10 minutes
i like to believe that WIRED released an uncut version of his tangent 😭
his fans make short edit videos like "sunghoon being whipped for [name]" or "sunghoon really likes his gf"
i think his fans also make edits of YOU
even though you're honestly in a very short clip of his interview
the way you look at him and listen so intently is SO GOOD
like you were definitely giving him 'the look' as he talked abt your relationship yk?
that once-over, maybe a little lip bite, MMMMM SO GOOD
now....
ik i said that heeseung was the keyboard warrior but like... i think sunghoon is the real one
he's out here fighting BATTLES with his keyboard oml
when stan twitter sees this.... sunghoon starts to fight them
there's tweets like
"the more i listen to sunghoon talk about his gf i more i feel like i'm falling for her"
"the woman that you are, [name]..."
"when she looks at the camera i feel shy"
"omg SHE WANTS ME"
sunghoon gets petty OH MY GOD
he responds to all the tweets about you
like
"she does not want you 😐." "you have no chance with her. 😐." "too bad she's mine 😇"
it's def in a playful joking way and it's really funny, but sunghoon is out here defending your honor
i think at some point sunghoon stops responding with words and just begins responding with pictures
someone tweets "sunghoon is your gf single"
and he straight up just responds with a picture of him staring blankly at the camera
LIKE HE'S DRILLING HOLES THROUGH THE CAMERA WITH HIS EYES
an absolute cutie if i do say so myself
on valentines day he posts a picture of him holding your hand to be extra petty lol
maknae ver.
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#heeseung#heeseung x reader#heeseung imagines#heeseung fluff#jay#jay enhypen#park jongseong#park jongseong fluff#jay enhypen x reader#park jongseong x reader#jake sim#jake sim x reader#jake fluff#jake sim fluff#jake sim imagine#sunghoon#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon imagine#star-sim
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thinking abt toji with a crybaby gf a little extra rn
no one can tell me this man isn’t into the ‘soft’ type. i’m not even trying to project. but i full heartedly believe that he likes the soft girls that have some attitude to them.
cw: MDNI , fem!reader , toji kinda toxic n icky , mention of periods , fake crying , that’s abt it i think.
imagine he’s just spoiled you absolutely rotten, you can count on one hand the amount of times he’s told you “no.” and actually stood his ground on the statement. how could he not give into you? your his sweet little baby, he can’t stand the pout on your face.
but god, when you break out the waterworks?? you could probably have this man doing whatever the fuck you wanted. you knew this too, and you didn’t want him to get used to seeing you cry and whine. so you saved this little trick you’ve learned until there’s something you reaallyyy want, and IF he says no. you know it won’t stay a no.
“c’mon baby, you know i’m saying no because it’s gonna make your tummy hurt.” toji looked over at you, bottom lip jutting out after he just rudely told you no to going back through the drive through to get another ice cream cone after you just practically inhaled yours. and sure, maybe it was immature to cry over ice cream, but you could tell your period was close, you needed that fucking ice cream before you ripped his head off.
“so mean toji.” your lip wobbling a bit while you willed your eyes to start misting over with water. you slammed both of your legs against the passenger side door, shrinking away from him while you sniffled and crossed your arms over your chest. it was dramatic, and you were fully aware of that. but who cares you were his special girl, no one else mattered.
“don’t be like that-“ toji reached out towards your legs, originally trying to place a strong hand on your thigh. he had to lean over the center console the way you tucked yourself against the door so tight. but just before he made contact, you slapped his hand away, turning to glare at him with crocodile tears streaming down your cheeks. “..fuckin’ fine. same flavor?”
you nod as he pulls around to go back through the drive through, he grunts and hands you the cone full of the sweet treat you had just cried over. you take it from him, continuing the pouty act for a few moments until you genuinely start to miss his touch. riding in his car doesn’t feel normal when his hand isn’t in your lap.
toji smirks to himself watching your legs shift closer to him once again through the peaks he was stealing of you occasionally. he places his hand on your thigh and gives it a small squeeze, mumbling a ‘love ya.’
god, he can’t wait until the day he actually wants to tell you no. he can’t wait until he can tell you that he knows what your little ‘trick’ is and how it’s never really worked on him. he can see right through your little head. he wants to watch you stumble over your words and try to explain yourself to him, break you down until you’re begging for his forgiveness. that’s when the real tears come out.
I SAID TOJI LIKES SOFT CRYBABY GIRLS BUT I DIDNT SAY IT WAS FOR A HEALTHY REASON :3 he likes to break them u can’t tell me otherwise
i’d still fuck him icl.
#❥ ~ ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ#fem!reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#toji fushiguro#toji#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader
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hiiii I have a request
Can you write Sevika x fem!reader whose insecure about having a large labia minora? Lots of body worship + praise 💗💗💗 big labia girlies are never rlly represented n it breaks my heart, but only write it if ur comfy Ofc!!!

୨୧ I feel like this mostly focused on body worship, it just has lots of compliments ngl
୨୧ word count : 1.8k
୨୧ also thank y’all sm for over 2,000 notes on my last 2 fics I’ve been bother my bsf abt it sm.

“Come on, baby,” Sevika calls out before plopping down on the edge of the bed, waiting for you. You reluctantly walk out of the bathroom, Sevika's eyes trailing over your dress as you stand shy before her.
"I don't think I like it, Sev," you mumble, brushing down the fabric nervously, unable to meet her eyes as she stares at you.
"C'mere, baby," Sevika beckons softly, trying to hide the smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as you step closer.
She pulls you down onto her thigh and wraps her arms around you, her face buried in your neck, kissing softly as she whispers, "I think you look so pretty, far too pretty for anyone else to see."
Your cheeks flush at her words, chuckling softly as warmth spreads through you at the feeling of her hands roaming over your thighs and her lips trailing gentle kisses along your jawline.
"Thank you, Sevi," you murmur, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror in front of you, feeling embarrassed as you meet Sevika's eyes for a second before looking away shyly.
"Maybe we should just skip the gala and stay here tonight," she suggests, her voice low as she whispers in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You nod, your breathing growing heavier as you get lost in the sound of her voice and the feeling of her touch. "Yeah, does that sound good?"
"Yes," you breathe out softly, clinging onto her bicep as she nuzzles into your neck, the scent of your perfume clouding her senses. You can feel her smirk against your skin as she kisses your jaw, moving her lips to meet yours in a deep and passionate kiss.
As the kiss deepens, you wrap your arms around her neck, pressing your body closer to hers. Sevika's hand slides up your back, her human hand holding your face gently, while her mechanical hand rests on the curve of your ass, groping you possessively. You can't help but melt against her lips, whining softly as she pulls away, leaving you pouting and wanting more.
"Don't do that," she whispers in the small space, her gray eyes locking with yours as she strokes your cheek. Sevika's thumb brushes against your lips making you feel vulnerable as she stares at your parted lips.
"I wanna see all of you, baby," she murmurs, flicking her eyes back up to yours. You shiver under her intense gaze, slowly getting off her lap and facing the mirror as she sits behind you, her hand sliding down your legs.
Sevika stands up behind, tracing up the zipper of your dress with her fingertips, her breath hot against your neck as she whispers, "Let me show you how pretty you are."
You feel a rush of excitement and nervousness as she slowly begins to unzip your dress, the anticipation building with each passing moment. You nervously bite down on your lip, your face burning as Sevika pushes the dress off your shoulders, revealing your skin to the cool air of the room.
As the dress falls to the floor, Sevika bites her lip, her eyes roaming over your exposed body before locking yours through the mirror. "Don't be so shy," she chuckles, moving on to quickly undo your bra and letting it fall to the ground.
"This is kinda embarrassing, Sev," you mumble, curling in on yourself slightly. Sevika's soft laughter fills the room as she brushes back your hair to expose your neck, planting a gentle kiss on your skin.
"Just relax and let me make you feel so fucking good," she whispers, walking you over and onto the bed, pulling your back against her chest, "You know I can, baby." Her hands cup your tits, kneading them gently as she leans in to kiss your neck, sucking lightly on your skin.
You close your eyes and let out the sweetest whimper as she pinches and pulls on the sensitive buds, rolling her thumbs over to soothe them. Sevika rests her chin on your shoulder, her warm breath fanning against your ear as she whispers, "Open those eyes, baby," she commands softly, "look at me."
You comply, making her smile as you meet her gaze in the mirror. "I want you to watch me, okay?" she murmurs, "I'll stop if you look away."
"Okay," you breathe out, rubbing your thighs together in anticipation. Sevika chuckles softly when she catches your eager movements, her human hand sliding down your stomach before stopping just above where you need her most.
"Good girl," she praises, her voice low and husky. "Now, spread those legs for me." You nibble on your bottom lip, feeling the dampness between your legs grow as Sevika squeezes your thighs gently.
"C'mon," she coaxes, "let me see you." Your breathing hitches as you slowly part your legs, shivering as the cool air hits your covered cunt, making you ache for her touch. Sevika's eyes darken as she takes in the sight before her, a wicked grin playing on her lips.
"Oh, baby," she groans, her fingers trailing lightly along your inner thighs. You shy away from the mirror, unable to look at yourself as Sevika cups core, slowly rubbing you through your ruined panties.
You twitch in her grasp as she lands a light smack your cunt, making your thighs close around her hand as you let out a choked moan. "Eyes," she commands, waiting for you to meet her gaze before continuing.
You meet her eyes and spread your legs again, unable to stop yourself from glancing down at how Sevika's hand easily covers your cunt.
"Good girl," she coos, placing her legs over yours to pin them open before pulling aside your ruined panties. She slides her fingers through your slick folds, causing you to gasp each time she swipes over your aching clit.
Sevika's eyes focus on your dripping cunt, humming in satisfaction as she feels your arousal coat her fingers. "My girl has such a pretty pussy, doesn't she?" she whispers, her voice dripping with satisfaction as she begins to slowly circle your clit with her fingers.
You nod dumbly, barely registering her words as you grind your clit against her hand, feeling your cunt clenching around nothing but the air. Sevika smirks, clearly enjoying the effect she has on you.
"I love your pussy, you know that, baby?" she teases, wrapping her mechanical arm around your waist to hold you still as you squirm helplessly beneath her touch. "I could play with her all night if you'd let me." You moan in response, feeling a rush of arousal surge through you at her words.
"You would like that, wouldn't you?" Sevika whispers in your ear, noticing the way your hips falter against her hand at the suggestion. You can't help drop your head against her shoulder, your breath coming in short gasps as she continues to rub circles on your clit.
"Yes please," you breathe out, becoming putty in her hands and willing to agree to anything she wants as long as it means she'll let you cum. Sevika chuckles softly, looking down at you on her shoulder with a glint of satisfaction in her eyes.
"So cute when you like this," she murmurs before leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, making you moan into her mouth as she increases the pressure on your swollen clit.
You reach up to tangle your fingers in her hair, desperately trying to hold onto her as you try to kiss her back. "P-please," you whimper against her lips, your voice breaking with need, "Please I need more."
Sevika smirks, pulling back slightly to see you. Her fingers slide lower to tease your entrance, feeling how your cunt tries to suck her in. "You want this?" she asks, slowly pushing a finger inside you, making you gasp and arch your back in response.
"Oh fuck yes," you moan, grabbing onto her wrist for support, your eyes fluttering shut as she begins to slowly pump her finger in and out of you, adding another finger as she watches you writhe against her touch.
"Eyes, baby," she reminds, slowing her fingers till they're barely moving, making you whimper in frustration before you look back at the mirror. Your reflection shows your flushed cheeks and parted lips, pretty moans slipping from them as you watch her fingers disappear inside you.
"Aren't you just so fucking cute?" Sevika groans, bringing her mechanical hand down to tease your clit, making you gasp from the unexpected cool metal against your aching clit. You cling onto her human arm, your nails digging into her arm as you feel the tension building inside your belly.
"Oh please Sevi," you beg, burying your face in her bicep, your soft moans muffled by her muscular arm.
"What is it, baby?" Sevika asks, already knowing what you want. You try to answer but all that comes out is a loud moan as she purposely curls her fingers inside you, hitting that perfect spot that makes your eyes roll back. "C'mon baby, tell me."
"Wanna cum so bad," you manage to gasp out, feeling the pressure building in your core with each thrust of her fingers. Sevika's lips press against your neck, kissing and sucking gently as she quickens her pace, determined to make you come around her fingers.
""M so close," you whimper, your thighs trembling and breathing heavily as she continues to fuck you dumb, "oh fuck, 'm gonna cum," you cry into her arm.
Your whimpers turn into desperate cries as the tension in your belly reaches its peak, your body twitching in her grasp.
"I got you, baby, come for me," Sevika groans, watching you in the mirror as she helps you ride out your sweet high, her fingers never faltering against your sensitive cunt.
As you start to come down from your high, Sevika holds your trembling body close, slowly pulling out her fingers and rubbing them against your swollen clit, making you shake with gentle strokes.
"No, 'm too sensitive," you whimper, trying to push her hand away weakly. Sevika chuckles softly, kissing your neck and shoulder, "Sorry, baby." She pulls her hand away, letting you catch your breath and curl up against her chest. You lay on her chest in a peaceful silence, mindlessly playing with the buttons of her shirt.
You look up at her with a glint in your eyes that matched the one she had not long ago, a cheeky grin spreading across your face. "What?" Sevika raises an eyebrow.
"Nothing," you reply, trailing your fingers along her button-up shirt, popping open one of the buttons with a mischievous smile. "I'm just so sad we aren't going to that gala tonight," you tease, leaning in to press a soft kiss against her lips.
Sevika chuckles, letting you continue to pop open the buttons on her shirt as she leans in to peck you back. You pop open the last button, revealing in the sight of her abs underneath.
"Fuck the gala," Sevika whispers, leaning in to brush her lips against yours, her hand keeping your face close to hers, “we can have our own fun right here," she adds, pecking you once more before pulling you in for a passionate kiss.
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